#it sounds incomplete

[six-white-venus]

you asked for inspo so here:

"loneliness, habitually looking at your side and finding an empty space, late nights, missed calls, nostalgia"

(don't ask who hurt me lol)

i dream of him every day, you know? it’s been a year and two months since the last time we talked properly. more than 10 months since i saw his face. it’s summer of 2024 and i don’t know who i am to you. hell, i don’t know what i am to me, either. but when i close my eyes, i am in highschool and our shoulders are touching and i laugh at every stupid thing he says because of course i do. and his eyes always lit up when i did. in my dreams, he says that he loves me and that he’s sorry. but here’s the catch: i always know i’m dreaming.

to dream and know you’re dreaming is the greatest curse of them all. because it’s there, it’s right there, happiness that’s cotton candy sweet melting on your tongue it’s there it’s there but you know it’s not true. because you’ve never had cotton candy before and your mom has always told you girls with rotten teeth don’t deserve sweets. because he says he loves you. because he’s smiling and it’s not crooked and he says he loves you. because you’re thinking of him with a feather-light chest and not weeping into your best friend’s arms. because he says he loves you and your teeth is not rotten.

but i wake up and don’t cry. i miss him, but i don’t cry. i don’t even remember his face right but i miss him. but i don’t cry. when i do, it's always the stupidest things that set it off.

it's 11:30pm and i should be sleeping but here i am, staring at the tears staining my pillow and telling myself, "stop. stop crying. stop. why are you crying?"

it's all so incredibly stupid.

i can't play fight with my friends anymore because i'm afraid they'll just leave. i can't be mean for shits and giggles. because what if that's the breaking point? what if someone gets bored of my clown fuckery there and decides to give up on me. what will i do with my red nose and jester's hat and bleeding smile? what will i do?

i don't know if I miss you or miss who i was before you anymore. i don't remember what it felt like, to be so sure that i am loved. because i am, i know i am! but now with that knowledge comes a creeping whisper, "what's the price you have to pay to make them stay?"

i don't know. it terrifies me.

calls pile up on my phone and i hate that sometimes i can’t even care enough to be guilty about it. my friends text me often, “are you even alive? please call me back.” and i don’t know what to tell them. i don’t know who i am. can you come over? i’m afraid i’ll forget your face. can you come over? i’m afraid you’ll forget my face. can you come over? i am so lonely. can you come over? i can’t stop dreaming and nostalgia feels like a knife to my throat and i keep twisting it in deeper and deeper and deeper and-

can you come over? i don’t know why i can’t forget your laugh. i don’t know if i can ever stop screaming.

i look at my side and find it’s empty. i look for your photos in my gallery and come up empty because i deleted the last one a week ago. but it doesn’t matter, because they all look wrong, anyway. none of them know how you smile. none of them are real. none of them know you like i do. i can’t stop dreaming. i am a liar who knows he’s a liar and the knife twists deeper and why didn’t you look back? why can’t i stop dreaming?

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal

[Soothing Restful Song]

[You hear a bell. Chiming, tolling, calling your name.]

[hoshinasblade]

*evil laughs* who needs a fic where both gen narumi and hoshina soshiro are involved, raise your hand

having a soulmate is an anomaly. not a lot of people are able to find the one for them anymore, and even fewer are those blessed with the wonderful affliction of the premonition - brief visions showing a person's better half.

on your 19th birthday, you began dreaming of a kaiju being killed in front of you - its throat slit open by something sharp and deadly as green liquid pours out of the orifices in its face. the attack to the monster was made by a young man, dressed in a uniform that can easily be distinguised as of an anti-kaiju defense officer's standard duty attire. the scene is that of gore and blood and violence, and despite the other details, the man's face was always a blur to you.

after applying to be an operations analyst at the anti-kaiju force, you were so sure you have found your soulmate when you saw hoshina soshiro slaughter an entire swarm of yoju in less than ten minutes with his katanas. it all clicked for you - he is the one.

or so you thought.

falling in love with the third division's vice-captain was not something you spent a second thought about. you could even admit that resisting to feel something towards hoshina is akin to forcing yourself not to take a breath. even if he had not been your soulmate, you swore that you would always be in love with him.

or so you thought.

because destiny is a cruel, cruel player in the game of life, and a soulbond is both a miraculous blessing and a poweful curse - only upon meeting the first division's captain by chance did you realise that gen narumi is the literal man from your dreams years ago - your soulmate - and not hoshina soshiro, the man that you love.

[fanaticloser]

Do you ever search up a trope and you look through the fics and read all the summaries and it looks like no one understands what that trope actually means.

[skunkes]

ive talked about this before but social vs self perception is crazyyyy im looking for old scenic photos ive taken and also found selfies and when my hair was short i LOVED looking at myself but hated thinking abt how others saw me (especially after seeing candids of me) now my hair is long and like. Its fine i guess but I think the selfies ive posted on here are the only times ive taken pics of myself ykwim. And i avoid mirrors LMAO

[torvus-bong]

it's a medley for a game that doesn't exist! if you don't like it just wait ~40 seconds, it'll change lol. this is a demo; I'll be sending it off for proper mixing/mastering soon and I'm so excited!

[buggbuzz]

my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??

[rockn-rule]

Ok y'all imma need to talk about this god forsaken night light from night in the woods

Because why is no one talking about the blue canary in the outlet that's oddly very reminiscent of the 1990s they might be giants song 'birdhouse in your soul' ?? Because the meaning of that song is to build a place in your soul for what makes you feel most secure and I think that Mae has it around for that reason.

Also not to spoil night in the woods, but the way Mae explained her mental illness was amazingly well done and makes Mae the best rep I've seen imo

And before I forger look at this lil bird light I found omg

It's pretty identical to the one in night in the woods and I love it

[eebie]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

hey um not to be parasociall but how did the meeting with your advisor go???? also would it be possible for you to switch advisors/program or something so you can change your research interests if that's the issue? Im a doctoral student as well so I get how tricky that stuff can be depending on your program.... Anyway I hope things better for you xoxo

Lol, ur fine! It went alright

[fruitsofhell]

Goofy ah Forgotten Land essay incoming:

It took me till like a week ago to realize that KATFL writes Elfilis and Forgo as being the same characters and I don't know how to feel about that. I feel Forgo is more interesting as it's own being the way Elfilin is from 'Lis, because I like the idea of them both being these smaller figments of the past self reduced to childish forms representing absolutes of the original. But at the same time, what made me realize that this isn't the game's intention is when I was going to say something about how hollow Elfilis is as a character in comparison to Forgo.

So really, you either make Forgo and Elfilis effectively one character and Elfilin another, negating Forgo of its own identity as a pathetic pitiable beast so that Elfilis continues to have a presence - or you make all three of them seperate characters, and Elfilis loses what they gain as a character from Forgo's motivations.

Elfilis has not a single defined motive for why it attacked the people of the Forgotten Land very much unlike other Kirby villains who can atleast say something like, "power/gain (Magolor), vanity/power (Sectonia), greed (Haltmann), or vengeance (Hyness)". Elfilis and Forgo are often described as invasive species, but what that entails isn't obvious because all we know about 'Lis' evil intentions is from Forgo. But Forgo has its own motivations that exist outside of Elfilis' original wishes - that being its captivity in Lab Discovera, which is very strong on its own.

It adds a very engaging sense of darkness to the legacy of the Forgotten Land, and makes you pity and understand its raw animosity as much as you wish to defend the world from it. The fact that Elfilis was a violent invader rather than just some other alien adds little to its motive, but does add thematic garnish to the idea of how alien life has approached the Forgotten Land. But at the same time, Forgo's captivity is such a strong motivator it really could have stood on its own and still been effective as an alien antithesis to Kirby... Though I admit not as much as what Elfilis is.

Probably to most people that have been reading straight from the games intentions, the former sounds more appealing than the latter. But, probably due to my own stubbornness and bias I really really do love them being 3 seperate entities even at the expense of depth for Elfilis. Because one of my favorite reoccurring themes in this series is vain idealization of the past fucking villains over.

I like this in Taranza's devotion to a Sectonia that no longer exists, Susie to a father that has long since been lost in his own mad schemes to find her, and Hyness obsessing over a very flawed understanding of his cult's past. And I USED TO LIKE the idea that Magolor's obsession with the crown was him, as a *Halcandran* glorifying Halcandra's past relics, but CANT HAVE THAT ANYMORE.

If the Kirby writers don't got me anymore, I guess I'll got myself. I like the idea of Forgo being as seperate from Elfilis as 'Lin is, but while Elfilin is all of their originals innocence, purity, and hope, Forgo is its raw anger and vengefulness. Visually taking Elfilis's soft/mammalian and alien/insectoid motifs respectively, but both distinctly being immature and incomplete states. Elfilis was not just that anger nor just that hope (wherever it came from), and is only the culmination of those two sides, it's a symbol of a self the two can never be on their own - one that Forgo idealizes and one Elfilin avoids.

For the sake of the ending where Elfilin reclaims the last bit of Forgo/Elfilis that is willing to go on, I prefer the mutuality of Forgo and Elfilin moving on together, rather than Elfilin just accepting Elfilis if that makes ANY sense. I just like the way Forgo and Elfilin parallel eachother more than he does with 'Lis? I like the narrative of healing that acknowledges that Forgo and Elfilin are both lost and grieving children, rather than Elfilin abandoned Elfilis who then became Forgo. Like the latter feels oddly possessive and unbalanced.

And as I said in line with past series themes, I kinda like the idea that whatever the fuck Elfilis had going on is irrelevant, just as seeing the faces of the people of the Forgotten Land is irrelevant - all that is relevant is what was left behind. I like the idea that Elfilis cannot really speak for itself anymore as a character the way the people of the Forgotten Land can only speak through their ruins and audio recordings. And as those people left behind a legacy of reclaimed wonder and terrible cruelty, in response, Elfilis left behind one of innocent hope and unbridled anger. I'd prefer to try and piece together what those two opposing visions say of their predecessor than just assume one speaks for them in its entirely I s'pose...

[castielsupernatural]

it’s actually soooo fucking annoying being in the closet how the hell do you guys just stop doing that

[scrapimmortal]

waaaaaaaaaaaah i want a tgcf tattoo

not tattoo fever hitting in the middle of summer, i am NOT getting one until september at the earliest, summer's too hot and i wanna be able to swim

[five-star-stay]

Why is jype only sending half of skz for English interview appearances for lmb when they were all in nyc for the entire time? It's so weird I get the members they sent have better English but it's not like they send all of them to Korean shows either, some members are always getting left out.

[s4pphoiduser]

maybe a little corny but idrc i guess. so: maybe i'm just getting older or maybe my age/aging is totally unrelated to all this but i find that these days, now that i've grown out of being an angsty teen looking for anger and hate in every corner of the world, i find that now i am more struck by kindness, especially in fictional worlds that are harsh and demand a character let go of their kindness and inherent goodness to survive and never be taken advantage of or things like that. i like when characters are so kind that it's truly truly one of their core traits. i know it's not exactly rare, but these days... kinda feels like it. i'm always struck by characters who fight to be good and kind and still believe in fickle things like love and other people. characters whose kindness make others wary of them and draw them closer simultaneously. characters whose goodness and insanely strong (fought-for) sense of love and humanity (and i don't mean humanity like humankind as a whole; i mean a person's sense of humanity, i mean people. i mean people need people. i mean people need closeness and love and things that like that) makes others around them more likable and ... human. characters whose kindness/goodness/big big big hearts humanize everyone who gets the chance to be basked in the glow of that beauty.

[cecenyss]

I know this has been said before but there’s something so uniquely beautiful about the way trans women embrace femininity.

It took me years to return to liking pink after deciding it was too girly. I love wearing skirts but hardly ever do because they make me feel bad about myself. When I think of my girlhood it makes me feel inferior, weak, and insufficient.

But somewhere out there is a trans woman or trans girl with the world shouting at her that she will never live up to this impossible standard, and she still wears dresses and curls her hair and decks herself out in pink and smiles while doing it.