#i still looked like and sounded the way i do now. it felt incomplete and bad to be witnessed
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skunkes · 3 months ago
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ive talked about this before but social vs self perception is crazyyyy im looking for old scenic photos ive taken and also found selfies and when my hair was short i LOVED looking at myself but hated thinking abt how others saw me (especially after seeing candids of me) now my hair is long and like. Its fine i guess but I think the selfies ive posted on here are the only times ive taken pics of myself ykwim. And i avoid mirrors LMAO
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palajae · 9 months ago
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my name. | nishimura riki
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PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki! x reader
GENRE ▸ detective! au, fantasy! au, high school! au, s2ls, romance, fluff, angst, humor, SLOW BURN
WC ▸ 15.6k
SUMMARY ▸ you supposedly get transported to a different world, where you encounter niki. apparently, you already existed here. note: past tense. so now you’re stuck in an alternate universe and technically, you’re supposed to be dead. 
AKA after facing the truth, you come to the realization that someone was definitely trying to kill you.
AN/NOTES ▸ mentions of death!!!, a murder mystery/whodunit, profanity, mentions of suicide, depictions of murder, a few curse words, violence, blood, dead bodies, some gorey stuff, kissing, nothing too harsh, excuse any typos/misspellings...
wow... i can't believe it but it is finally out... it's been a long time coming lol. with losing several family members and hospital visits over the past year, i wasn't sure if this was ever going to get released. thank you all for your endless (fr) patience and support. happy reading ❤️
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a faceless figure stretches out a hand towards you.
you squint but for some reason, you still can’t make them out. the longer you stare, the more you realize it was a person—a blurry vision of a faceless boy. considering the matching uniform to yours, he must’ve gone to your school …was he your classmate? 
you frown. you’ve never seen anyone like him in class before. you stretch out your arm, fingertips barely grazing his- 
the sound of the school bell ringing causes your eyelids to fly open.  you groan, yawning and getting up from your seat by the window by default. 
it wasn’t a nice nap—just one that left you feeling groggy, unsettled, and strangely incomplete. 
you pack up your stuff quietly and leave the classroom alone, not bothering to look for your friends. as you walk down the stairs, you hear your classmates chattering about the weather.you glance outside. 
it was a dreary, unwelcoming kind of rain—part of the reason why you fell asleep earlier in class—and you suddenly feel the urge to get home. as soon as possible. 
you weren’t sure why, but it wasn’t just raining. it started to pour, especially hard, on this spring day. you want to think that was what made your mood all miserable and forlorn. 
not to forget the fact that you didn’t have an umbrella, leaving you no other choice but to throw your hood on and tighten the strings of your hoodie over your school uniform. not exactly the most stylish look, yet it was comfortable enough for you. 
you couldn’t put a finger on the emotion, but you felt out of place, like for some weird reason… you didn’t belong here. like you belonged out of this circle, away from this life and world. 
that feeling always came up when it started to rain, and you always tried your best to suppress it. but it was particularly strong today. 
you shrugged it off though. those “phases” weren’t uncommon, right? 
though you made it halfway out the school grounds by yourself, hyein and hanni catch up to you as you walk. you give them a half-hearted smile, “hey.”
it doesn’t take much for them to notice your off behavior. hyein eyes you. 
“you okay, y/n?” 
you debate internally, reminding yourself that they’re your friends. you can trust them, rely on them. you’re allowed to do that. even more so, aren’t you supposed to do that? 
but the words that come out of your mouth suggest otherwise. you shrug, “it’s nothing. it’s just been a weird day, you know?”
they share a glance before turning back to you, sympathetic smiles on their faces. hanni pats you on the shoulder, “yeah, we get it. you should get some rest at home, y/n. we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“be careful on the way back! the rain doesn’t look like it’s stopping soon.” she calls out before they continue, leaving you behind—still as soaked as ever. 
you wave before sighing, gripping the straps of your backpack tighter and making your way towards the train station. the sound of the rain almost makes you fall into a daze as you go about your way. all your school stuff and clothes were definitely getting soaked, which probably meant an oncoming cold, but you could’ve cared less. 
the only thing that mattered was going home and sleeping off this weird feeling, so it could become tomorrow and you didn’t have to be in this situation anymore. 
the train station is strangely busy, you figure the downpour was making everyone go home sooner. you bypass several people, almost getting your soaked and stained shoes stepped on several times. all while muttering quiet “excuse me’s” to practically everyone and anyone who cared to listen. 
after what seemed like ages, you manage to make it to your train.  although, the large crowd surrounding the entrance effectively prevents you from getting anywhere. 
you mutter a curse, trying to navigate through the waves of people. you just barely get on before the doors begin closing. letting out a huff in relief, you lean back against the door and slowing yourself a moment to close your eyes in peace. all the seats were obviously taken at that point, so you had no choice but to stand. that’s fine—you end up drifting off anyway. 
you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. or why you feel even more exhausted when you wake up. but the robotic voice announcing your arrival makes your eyes automatically flutter open. you feel your body getting pushed and shoved around as everyone tries to get out all at once. 
so you grit your teeth and tug down your hood further until you can finally get out. you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings, too focused on not getting knocked to the ground. when you finally stumble out of the crowd onto the station platform, you try to collect yourself while shaking your head. then you frown, 
wait a second-
something solid knocks into you from the side, a rough oof! escaping out of their--mouth?
you’re knocked onto the ground, bottom first. pain shoots into your palms that tried (and failed) to catch your fall—and obviously, your butt as well. 
you groan, eyes flashing in annoyance at your unknown assailant. looking up, you stop at the sight of the… boy in front of you. 
you really have no idea why, but a question immediately pops into your head—
have you met before?
you don’t voice it, but it lingers in the back of your mind. the boy—as far as you can tell, he looks around your age— simply stares at you. he’s in a strikingly similar uniform. 
a flicker of recognition passes in his eyes before you watch his expression grow flabbergasted. he continues to stare at you for a solid minute, while you only stare back in confusion, still on the floor.
“it’s rude to stare, you know.” you finally state with a furrowed brow as you quickly gathering your bearings. 
his only response is a blink.  
it's like the two of you are frozen in time, everyone else getting drowned out in the moment. 
you frown, narrowing your eyes at him. “hello? did you hear me?” you repeat yourself and this time he snaps out of it. 
“y-you’re not supposed to be here.” he gets out shakily, looking around while his hand runs through his dark locks in distress. you cross your arms, “what do you mean? this is my stop…” 
you falter when you remember what you saw earlier. when you got off the train, you took a quick glance at the signs and posts. yeah, this definitely wasn’t your stop. 
that wouldn’t have been a huge issue- if it wasn’t for the fact that you never missed your station, no matter the circumstances.  
“no!” he exclaims and you flinch at the outburst. the boy glances at you again, and this time you involuntarily shiver at the unreadable look in his eyes. 
“you’re…. you’re supposed to be dead.”
your mouth drops open. 
“what a great first thing to say to someone you just bowled over. not even a sorry..” you mutter off, suddenly finding the strength to get up and wipe your hands. 
the boy takes a step back away from you. curiously, you take one forward, towards him. he gestures a hand at you almost aggressively. 
“you’re dead. you died. i swear-“
you hold out your hands in half desperation and half exasperation, “i dunno if this is some dumb prank or something i missed, but i hate to break it to you. i’m not dead. i’m literally right here in front of you. i think i would know if i died or not. i’m-” 
again, that feeling of being out of place washes over you. this time it steals your breath away. 
the strange boy shakes his head. “there’s no way. i know exactly who you look like.”
his next words make your blood run cold. 
“you’re exactly like y/n y/l/n—who died a week ago.” he looks you up and down again, hands curling into fists. 
“who are you? and why do you look just-?”
“because that’s who i am? my name is y/n! now, if you would excuse me.”  
you hold up a hand, you didn’t have the time or patience to deal with weirdos on the street. it did struck a little odd that he knew your name, but then again he must’ve gone to your school and heard of you somewhere. the only thing that unsettled you was his reaction. 
it just seemed too real, like he couldn’t have been that good at acting. 
he grabs your arm to prevent you from leaving. all he does is shake his head again like he’s just trying to reassure himself. you’re about to protest, so utterly confused at what’s happening-how you missed your stop and why this strange boy is saying that you’re dead. none of it makes sense. 
his face looks pale and grim, and you’re sure yours look exactly the same. “you can’t be y/n. and yet, here you are right in front of me.” 
“i will scream like a little girl for help if you don’t let me go at this-“
“p-please. this isn’t a joke. you can’t be here. we need to get out of here—where everyone can’t see you.” 
before you can even splutter a response, he drags you off. 
you can call me niki, his words echo in your head. 
his name rolls off your tongue unfamiliarly. in his states of panic—to which niki kept slapping himself and you kept denying that you were a hallucination—
you ended up introducing yourselves and deciding to find a better place to discuss. more like, niki decided. you soon began to regret that decision. 
all you wanted to do was go home, but this persistent kid you’ve never seen before wouldn’t let you or your conscience go. maybe it was the weird feeling from earlier, but you have the urge to at least hear him out. but when you walked out of that train station behind him, everything was wrong. 
you don’t know how to describe it. it was right but… at the same time, it wasn’t. 
to begin with, you ended up at the wrong station but it led you to the right street to get home. the streets name were the same, but the stores weren’t. 
and the bus stop—the bus driver that had worked there for fifteen years, the one you had greeted for fifteen years, suddenly became an entirely different person. he never missed a day, no matter what occasion it was. 
things weren’t right and you had no idea what was going on. 
following niki, you get lost in your thoughts. you shake your head, clapping a hand over your forehead. maybe… you’re just in a weird dream. a really realistic one, because none of this made sense. it wasn’t raining anymore either, which would’ve been fine, excluding for one tiny detail: the streets were completely dry. judging by the strength of the rain earlier, it really shouldn’t—no, it couldn’t have dried up that fast. 
It wasn’t physically possible. 
you could easily navigate your way around this area because you lived here all your life. and yet, it felt like you didn’t live here. not when this random stranger (only on a first name basis) keeps insisting that you died. 
niki—or whoever—leads you to a very familiar library, the same one where you spent hours studying for your finals. you head in, feeling a bit better hearing the familiar entrance chime. you walk ahead of him to take your spot by the back corner. the fact that this place was essentially the same gave you some comfort.
niki seems surprised, but he doesn’t say anything, only taking the seat across from you. 
“okay.” you start, glancing at the boy with wary eyes. 
“if whatever bs you’re spewing is true, explain.”
he raises his eyebrows. 
“me? explain?” 
you nod and he scoffs, “i think you’re the one who should be explaining. after all, you’re the one that’s supposed to be dead-“
“i’m not dead.” you grit out, rolling your eyes. 
“okay, okay,” he raises his hands in surrender, “but you still need to talk.”
you sigh, rubbing your temples. 
“what do you want me to say? that i got soaked, took the train home, overslept, and then missed my stop? then, i bumped into a weird boy-”
he shoots you an offended look, which you ignore. 
“-who keeps telling me that i died. oh, and the more and more i stay here with you, the more wrong everything gets?” you barely get the last word out before niki leans in, eyes focused intently on you. 
the closer he gets, you more you begin to malfunction. you unconsciously hold your breath, alarm and confusion evident in your eyes. his hand reaches out, slowly, to your head. your body freezes.
his fingers catch a drop of water at the tip of your hair. “sorry. that was bothering me.” 
you exhale, glaring at him. “are you serious?”
“yeah. are you?” 
“no,” you deadpan, “i’m a ghost and i’m haunting you. of course i’m being serious!” 
he gives you an unconvinced look and you roll your eyes, “i’m y/n y/l/n. we live an hour away from the capital. my house is two blocks away in the neighborhood with the broken fountain, and right now we’re at the library that doesn’t open on thursdays.  
you harshly tug off your suddenly dry hoodie, displaying your school uniform. 
“and by the looks of it, we go to the same school.”
his eyes widen as he leans in closer to study your uniform. you shrug away, caught off guard. then you frown, “but i’ve never seen you before at school. how do i know that you’re not some imposter?  that you somehow stole a uniform to get something from me?”
he rolls his eyes while you gaze at him suspiciously.
“obviously not, because that’s dumb.” 
you scoff. 
“i live here. why would i go through all the trouble to steal a uniform to get something from you? besides, what would i need from some-“ 
he glances at you and you tense,  
“-kid like you? you’re the one who came out of the train looking so suspicious, it’s like you appeared out of nowhere,” he counters. 
you place your palms flat on the table, “okay, it’s obvious we aren’t getting anywhere. we both don’t have answers and we’re not even close to one. all i know is that i’m alive,” you shoot him another look, “and that i somehow ended up here. now, can i go?”
there’s a brief pause before niki speaks up, slowly. “i already told you, you can’t be seen. come with me. and keep the hood on.” 
you roll your eyes. who was he to boss you around? 
he grumbles something along the lines of- “don’t want to be seen walking around with a dead person.” 
the only reason you listened was partly due to fear that you would lose your way in this familiar, yet unfamiliar place.   except, you know exactly where he’s taking you. because it’s the same neighborhood you live in. 
“wait,” you call out, “this is where i live.” you point to your house, and niki grimaces. 
“i know. there were police here for days.” 
you stop, unsure of what to say or do. police? at your house? when? 
you stare at your supposed house, suddenly dark and empty. what in the world happened? 
“come on,” niki calls out and you move to catch up. you’re starting to think niki may be telling the truth. 
soon enough, you make it to an unfamiliar house about a street down from yours. as niki unlocks the door, you take the opportunity to study him, trying to recall if you’ve ever seen him before. but when he turns to you, you clear your throat and look away. 
“this is my house,” he tilts his head while opening the door. 
you like the fact that it’s messy. it felt much more homey because of that. it was also a lot bigger than yours, filled with fancy and intricate things. to which you assume this niki guy has more money than he has yet to admit. he tells you to wait in the living room, and he soon returns with a stack of books. 
you pause, “yearbooks?“
he nods, “yeah, our school’s.” 
strangely enough, most of the covers are different than yours at home. 
but everything else is the same, like the name and logo. he pulls out this year’s yearbook and flips through before stopping at a page. 
“that’s me,” he points to the picture of him and you tilt your head, frowning.
“huh. so we are in the same year. but i’ve never seen you in my yearbook—or at school before. i swear i would’ve seen you at least once before...” 
you rub your temples, this whole situation was making your head hurt. none of it made sense. you study his picture, why in the world did he actually look good in his yearbook photo? your eyes shift toward his name, 
nish—
he turns the page before you can finish reading, only to get distracted by seeing familiar classmates in your yearbook. niki stays silent as he flips through pages and you continue to point out your friends and classmates and stare in wonder at the unfamiliar ones- 
ones that you’ve never seen before in your life but somehow their faces are printed on the page, in the same grade and same school as you. 
just like niki. you were actually speechless. 
eventually, he stops flipping eventually and looks at you. you catch his eye and glance down at the page, immediately catching on. you breath hitches. 
“no way—” 
“—and there’s you.” 
it is you. you can confirm, it’s a photo of someone who looks exactly like you. but… it’s not you. 
almost everything is the same, your face and clothes. your hair was cut shorter, and your smile wider for the picture. you were even wearing makeup, for crying out loud. you can only stare at the photo. 
according to niki, this you is dead? 
you look up at him, stomach churning. what in the world was going on? 
the silence lasts until niki finally speaks up with a hesitant tone. “i might be tripping, but have you ever heard of… alternate realities?” 
you shake your head firmly, “don’t even get me started on that-“
he cuts you off, “i know, i know. but just hear me out.” 
you have no choice but to internally whisper a quiet plea of help. he scoots closer, 
“wouldn’t it make sense? there’s really no other explanation. maybe it’s because i watched that spider-man movie recently, but you being from another world would explain how you’re alive right now—when in this world, you’re dead. plus, all the similarities and differences that you mentioned can be chalked up to different timelines—the butterfly effect and stuff like that.”
you don’t know what to say. 
could it actually be?
what other explanation could there be? 
“please say something,” niki mumbles and you release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. 
“okay. okay. fine. say the whole multiverse crap is true. then how did i even get here? how did i—” 
you do air quotations, 
“—switch dimensions to another world?” 
niki shrugs, “no idea.”
he scratches his head, “it’s weird to think about but i mean, maybe there’s a reason why you came here.”
his voice suddenly gets lower and you shiver, “you know, the timing’s a bit weird that you showed up right after the other you passed away.”
you clear your throat, “let’s not think about that right now. we should probably focus on the whole me being dead thing, right?” 
“what?” 
you glance at him questioningly, “what?”
niki raises an eyebrow. “what’s there to focus on? you died.”
you don’t have to rub it in my face, you mumble under your breath. 
“shouldn’t we be focusing on how to get you back to your world?”
you roll your eyes, “sure, but still, i kinda want to know how i died? i think i deserve to, you know, so maybe i don’t make the same dumb mistake back home.” 
“-if you ever get home,” he corrects and you huff.
“whatever, just tell me. we don’t even know if your dumb alternate reality theory is right.” 
“okay,” niki rubs his hands nervously and you wait in anticipation. 
“well, it actually happened last thursday.”
you swallow. why was your heart rate picking up? 
“at school. on, uh, the rooftop. no one witnessed it, and the cctv was broken so we don’t have any exact answers. but from what I’ve heard,” he gives you a cautious glance, 
“the police are about ready to call it a suicide.” 
at first, you think you misheard him. but the hesitant gaze and pause proves you otherwise. 
at first it doesn’t hit you. but then suddenly you feel sick to your stomach. your hand grips the table for support as you try to take it all in. 
you? 
a suicide at school? 
what about your family, your friends-
“no,” you whisper, shaking your head.  “i… i would never-“
you slam your hands on the table, “i know myself. i would never do that.”
his face is grim and sympathetic, which you can feel the dislike churn in your stomach at that. “i’m really sorry… that’s the current situation. it kinda blew up at school, but everything’s still so recent that nothing is confirmed yet.“ 
unspoken words linger in the back of his head, that he questions if he should say it or not.  
that niki really didn’t know you that well, that you were just another classmate of his. one that he passed in the halls without a second glance back. that the you in his world-
was just a stranger to him. 
yet seeing you, desperate and alive, right in front of his eyes. he doesn’t know what to do or say. so niki watches you bury your head in your hands. and he waits. 
it’s only a couple of minutes later that you look up. his face morphs into one of surprise when he sees your determined expression. 
“niki,” you state carefully and he nods, waiting patiently.
“are you sure that i-i did it?”
you can’t bring yourself to say the word but niki gets it. he sighs, 
“no. no one’s sure. but from what i’ve heard, the police haven’t found any other motives so… a suicide seemed most likely.” the more and more niki talked, the more unsure he got. 
your face hardens. 
“so there’s no proof? the police aren’t doing their freaking job and investigating?” 
his eyes widen—surprised at your sudden outburst—and you sigh, voice falling to a whisper.
“did i really commit suicide? and why do i care so much?” 
something warm falls over your hand and you jump, glancing up.
even for only a split second, his hand covers yours in a sympathetic attempt, “i’m sorry y/n. i wish i had answers but i really don’t know…”
despite the awkward look on niki’s face and overall awkward situation, his words strangely comfort you. 
you bite your bottom lip. “i-i have to get to my house.”
he stiffens, “what?” 
you stare at him, eyes sharp, “if no one else is going to do something, i at least have to.” 
you need to. for yourself. 
niki scoots closer, “y/n, you can’t just-“
“i know. but i need to know. something just-ugh,” you rub your face in frustration, “something doesn’t add up. i have to check. it’s like i can feel it deep within me.”
he sits there wordlessly. when you don’t get a response, you stand up. niki splutters, “w-where are you going?”
you cross your arms, “without or without you, i’m going to my house.” 
he slaps a hand to his face in frustration. “just how stubborn are you?” he mumbles. you hear it and yet you decide to ignore him. 
“thanks for the help i guess,” you give him a (weak) half-smile before turning towards the door 
“wait! you’re being serious?!” 
his desperate voice calls out and you internally debate if you should listen to him or not. slowly, you turn back around, “yeah. do you need something?”
“no, but you do— a plan. especially since the police closed off your house for investigation. plus, most of the evidence would have been taken already.” he clasps his hands together behind his back.
you shrug. “okay, and? i’ll still find a way. i have nothing to lose. i’m not even supposed to be alive.”
he groans loudly and you raise an eyebrow.
“idiot. i’m trying to say that i’ll help you. i-i want to help you.”
“i didn’t ask,” you raise your hands in mock surrender.  annoyed, niki puts his hands on his hips.
“sure, but i know plenty of things you don’t. this is my world. so, are you gonna accept or not?”
“you wish you did,” you retort, yet you can’t help the small smile that grows on your face, “but… i would appreciate it. just be grateful that i’m accepting your dumb theory from a spider-man movie as of right now.” 
niki gulps at the sight. it was the first time he saw you smile since you met. at least, the first smile he saw from the you of an alternate universe. 
“whatever you say,” he holds out a hand, 
“miss imposter.” 
you take it gladly, harshly.  “don’t call me that-“
“my name is y/n y/l/n.” 
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you spin around in niki’s chair, having went up to his room to figure out your so called master plan. niki (respectfully) offered to let you stay in his room for the length of your “visit.” 
to which you almost punched him. 
but he explained that there were no extra guest rooms and you were still technically dead, so hiding in his room was the best bet as to not raise any questions. you could take the makeshift bed in the corner of his room as to not raise suspicion. you were surprised yet grateful. 
“i’ll grab extra blankets and pillows. and i’ll sneak you food and whatever you need.” 
“what about clothes and toiletries?”
he yawns, “easy. i’ll steal some from my sisters.” 
you feel bad, but you realize you have no other choice. you were literally stuck here. 
a part of you still wondered if this was a dream. a horrible one, at the least. but while you were stuck here, might as well make the best of it. niki graciously offered and you had no choice but to accept. you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of the situation. 
“so basically, i’m like a secret pet you’re hiding from your parents?” 
“technically… yes,” niki rubs his hands together, and you can only watch the mischievous expression grow on his face.
“but i like to think that you’re like eleven. you’re different—you’re special, like her.”
you hold back a laugh at the words. 
clearing your throat, you try to play it off. “from stranger things? your world has that show too?” he lets out a scandalous gasp and this time you giggle. 
“of course, dude. what kind of world would i be living in if i didn’t have stranger things?” 
“apparently a horrible one,” you snort. 
after the whole living situation was sorted out, you returned to your investigation. 
“so you’re saying the police taped off my house for further examination?”
“uh, yeah? that’s how it works?” he raises a brow. 
you stuck your tongue out at him, “okay,  smartass. then how do we get in?” 
“clearly, there’s only one way: sneak in.” 
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“i don’t think this is a good idea?” niki whisper shouts at you and you shush him. 
the sun was barely setting. if anyone knew you, they knew you really couldn’t be deemed as patient of any sort. 
niki watches you struggle up the tree in your backyard. 
obviously, going through the front door was a no go. luckily this house looked pretty much the same as your house, at least from the outside. you knew your parents weren’t home judging by the darkness.  you wondered if they were staying with other family. 
or were they at work? so soon after your death? 
you grimace, now was not the time to be getting in your feelings.
the best (only) option was jumping the backyard fence and going in through your bedroom window. leading to your predicament now.  
you exhale heavily when you find a place to rest, gripping the tree with all your might in hopes that you don’t fall 
you glance down at niki. 
“can you make it?”
he scoffs,  
“easy.” 
it was easy— easy for you to watch niki struggle to get up to your point. 
you were sort of scared the tree wasn’t going to support both your weights, at the way it was trembling slightly. niki makes it though, by the time the sun is well down. 
you can see him sweating heavily and your nose scrunches in amusement,“easy, huh?”
“yeah, for you just standing there and watching me. we don’t have all day, grandma.”
“don’t call me that,” you mutter while stretching out towards your window.
niki’s eyes widen. 
“be careful, y/n.” 
“i got it,” you stretch out a leg to the ledge and your sweaty hands begin to slide from the bark, most likely from exertion. 
without even thinking about it, niki places his hands around your waist to stabilize you. you don’t notice in your concentration to not fall to your death. you certainly didn’t want another dead you. 
your foot clicks the lock, and with a grunt you’re able to push the window open. 
“you got it?” 
“yeah,” you breathe out, clumsily making your way in. you reach out a hand for niki and he takes it, maneuvering his long body in through the small window. 
finally, you can breathe. 
it’s the first time you have the luxury to desperately wish that you were home right now. your real home. you certainly didn’t mean this home, the empty and cold looking one locked up for the police’s investigation. 
after catching your breath, you get up to examine your surroundings. you weren’t not sure what you were expecting. this was the other you’s room. 
all you can think is, at least this y/n was much cleaner than you. 
a part of you feels like you’re invading someone’s privacy. but then you realize that it’s literally your own privacy that you’re invading, with the addition of niki. you actually can’t believe the absurdity of the situation. 
at first glance the room looks pretty normal, an average teenagers room.  not what you expected for yourself, but there’s not much you can see. you turn to niki,
“there’s no shot we’ll get caught right?”
he gives you another sympathetic look, “we’ll keep a look out for the police, but i heard your parents were busy with your other family and funeral preparations, so it wouldn’t be them catching us.”
“oh.”
the air feels so glum, you clear your throat to move on. “guess we should look around?”
he nods and begins to snoop around.  
“wait,” you call out hesitantly. 
niki cocks his head and you cough awkwardly.
“it’s still my room, so like, be careful with what you look through.” 
he rolls his eyes. “yeah. i got it.” 
you gaze at the photos on your shelf, displaying your happy family and friends. it just made you acknowledge how precious they were. it made you miss your friends and family at home even more.  
you’re appalled at the books you read. you shake your head, seriously? you take out one of the books-
“ten days to love,” you voice aloud with disgust written across your face. 
you weren’t one to judge, but what kind of cheesy romance novels were you reading?  
niki opens your closet and you turn at the sound. your eyes widen- 
wait a second, 
your closet with clothes? possibly including…. more personal things? 
you dash over in desperation, praying that niki hasn’t already seen something that he shouldn’t. 
“don’t!” 
his wide eyes meet your panicked ones, shocked at the sudden change of events. he doesn’t move until you push past him, blocking the door from his view. 
“you didn’t see anything, right?” you stare at niki desperately and he furrows his eyebrows. 
“no? am i not supposed-“
“no reason. just being cautious. we can, uh, open it together.”
you carefully examine your belongings inside before deeming it safe for niki’s eyes. you let out a sigh of relief.
he gives you a weird look and you shoot him an exaggerated smile. 
“you can proceed!” 
he mutters something under his breath as you continue your search on the other side of the room. it didn’t seem like there was anything of importance on the shelves. but, after careful examination, you see a glimpse of something. pushing past some folders, your face morphs into a stunned one. 
you pull out… 
a pink teddy bear with hearts? why would this be in your room? 
and even more so, why was it hidden? 
niki calls out your name and you turn around. your mouth drops open. 
“a box of chocolates?“ 
he scoffs, “yeah. stuffed behind some clothes in your closet for some reason.”
“it’s not even the good brand,” you mutter. 
niki laughs, “maybe you had secret admirers from school?” suddenly, you give him a suspicious glance. 
“what makes you say that? you sure you weren’t one of them?” 
he side eyes you, “trust me, you wouldn’t catch me within five feet of you at school.”
you walk over to shove his arm and he only laughs harder. you huff, suppressing a smile on your face as you turn away. but you keep niki’s comment in the back of your mind. 
after a solid thirty minutes, you can feel your resolve waning. there was no sign indicating that you felt suicidal. at least, none that you found after the police probably scrounged through everything. some stuff was suspicious— 
like the teddy bear and chocolates. and some lavish perfume and makeup in the drawers. that just wasn’t your style. but you supposed this world’s you was just different. 
just because you weren’t particularly into those things didn’t mean another you couldn’t be. 
“did i have a diary? what about my phone?”
niki frowns, “the police would’ve taken it. it’s their evidence now.” 
you suddenly get an idea, and it’s probably wasn’t a good one. 
“hey, niki?” you call out. he hums in response.  
“what day and time is it, currently?” 
“uh…” he checks his watch, “sunday. 8pm. why?”
“when does the police station close?”
dummy, most people would say--why would the police station be closed?
luck seemed to be on your side, because you knew especially well from complaints by locals, that your local police station did actually have a curfew. and you could only hope it was the same here.  
niki scratches his head, “in ten minutes? why are-“
his mouth drops open, “no. no. no.” you shrug and he shakes his head adamantly, “y/n, there’s no way that we’re going to sneak in.”
you dust off your hands, “i’m all ears for any other ideas you have.”
you have him at that and he falls silent. after a couple moments, he speaks up albeit hesitantly. “well… i might have a way.“
you grin. “onwards, then.”
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“wait, so how did you manage to get access again?”
he coughs, “my friend jungwon is the son of the police deputy chief… so i may have called in for a favor.”
“he managed to sneak in with his dad’s keys and get the files to my case?” you finish.
he nods. 
“illegally?”
he nods again.
you tap your chin, “would we get arrested if we got caught?” 
he shrugs, “probably.”
“good thing i’m not from this world.”
perhaps secretly hanging outside this jungwon’s house was not the best idea, either. he rolls his eyes before offering the file to you.
“do you want to open it?” to your surprise, his voice comes out quite comforting and soft. 
you gulp, “i guess i should.”
you feel sick for the second time that day. luckily, the photo didn’t show too much. not that it made it any better. it was still you, dead. 
you had to look at yourself and imagine yourself in that situation. you cover your mouth and niki immediately takes the file away from you. he watches worriedly as you shake your head.
“i’m fine. i-is there anything else your friend managed to get?”
“are you sure?”
“yes.” he doesn’t protest anymore at the tone of finality in your voice. 
niki pulls out a bag with your name on it. taking a deep breath in, you open it. you shuffle through some things hurriedly until niki speaks up.
“hold on a sec,” he softly places a hand on your arm to stop your actions.
“we should be careful. someone could notice that we tampered with the evidence so we need to be very careful when putting things back. plus, we have to give it back to him as soon as possible—we don’t want them noticing that your stuff is missing.”
you curse, “that’s right. we can’t risk taking anything.” 
“then what?” 
you pinch your nose bridge, “we snap pictures and hope it’s good enough. unless we want to take another field trip here.” 
you manage to snap a few pictures and go through a few things. you catch a glimpse of your diary and flip to the most recent page. it was about a week and a half ago, and-
it wasn’t finished. you skim through it, reading boring stuff about how your day was and how you met-
you squint.
the rest of the words were scratched out, harshly, with a black marker. seeing how it was getting late and dark, you can’t make out who’s name it was even with your phone flashlight. you wonder, could it be-
your thoughts are interrupted by niki. 
“y/n, i think we need to hurry and head home soon. the longer we stay out, the greater risk we’re at for getting caught. oh, and i found your phone.”
he holds it up and the extremely glittery case makes your eyes hurt. you eye it. heaving a deep breath, you prepare yourself to open your phone. 
but when you click the power button and nothing happens, you groan. you try again, and again, holding it down for seconds but the screen remains black.
“the phone’s dead.” you sigh again and niki bites his lip.
“maybe we should give up. we can ask jungwon another time,” he suggests
you nod wearily and he closes the box. as he gathers everything, opening his phone to text his friend to come back out, you glance at the time. it was quite late for a school day. 
“that’s right, you have school tomorrow?”
he groans, “yeah. i guess you’ll just have to stay home in my room. no one will go in while i’m at school, so you don’t have to worry.”
you nod, “okay.”
it felt weird knowing you were supposed to be at home, in bed and preparing to go to school yourself the next day. instead, you were stuck in another world—in a stranger’s room, forced to hide since you were supposed to be dead. 
were you considered missed at home? did anyone notice? call the cops? 
more like, if anyone cared? 
while you get ready for bed in niki’s bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 
yes, you affirm, you’re alive. 
you’re staring back at yourself, dressed in one of niki’s oversized shirts and basketball shorts. 
but the image of your dead face flashes in your mind and you immediately squeeze your eyes shut. you breathe heavily, hands planted on the sides of the sink. 
everything’s fine. you will get back home. things will figure themselves out. you’re okay. you’re breathing and-
a knock on the door makes you jump.
“y/n? everything okay?” niki’s voice sounds out hesitantly, “it seemed like you were taking a while so-“
the door swings open.
you stand there, face emotionless. he doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. niki tries to keep the image of you wearing his clothes out of his head, but it won’t seem to go away.
“goodnight, niki.” 
you slowly walk over to the temporary bed he’s set up on the floor for you. he blinks, 
“night, y/n.” 
it’s surprisingly comfortable, or maybe you’re just so exhausted you don’t seem to care or question anything anymore. 
you hear light footsteps padding to turn off the lights. 
in the darkness, your eyes close. but your mind is awake.
you know his is too, judging by the sounds of quite shuffling every couple minutes or so.
“niki?” you say quietly.
another shuffle. 
“yeah?”
“this may sound weird, but have you noticed anyone that looked particularly sad?”
there’s a pause. 
“about you?”
“yeah, but not like the typical sadness. like, anyone who seems to have changed drastically after hearing about me? let’s say,” you swallow, “any guys or friends of yours who seemed particularly upset or affected?”
niki rolls to the other side of his bed so that he faces you, but in the darkness he can only see the outline of your figure. “y/n, what are you trying to say?”
you tug the covers over yourself a little tighter. 
“nevermind, niki. have a good day at school tomorrow, and don’t worry about waking me up. you won’t be able to.”
“wasn’t planning on it,” he snorts. 
you fall asleep with a faint smile still lingering on your face. 
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the next day at school, niki struggles. he struggles when it’s supposed to be another normal day, and all he can think about is you. 
especially about what you said.
niki never paid much attention before to his surroundings, there was no reason to. but now he keeps an eye open.
he eyed anyone who passed by your locker, empty desk in class, anyone who mentioned your name. but the fact that you mentioned guys specifically, made him confused. 
why did it matter if a guy was upset? a lot of people were shocked and sad at the news. niki shook his head. he didn’t get it. 
meanwhile, you stayed at his home.
thinking. 
thinking about yesterday. somehow everything that happened was all just yesterday. you took the train and ended up here. then you found out you were apparently dead. 
you spent what felt like hours scrolling through the photos you took and waiting for niki to come home. all while eating snacks that niki left for you graciously. 
you don’t even know what time it is when you hear the door begin to open. you scramble to your feet before realizing that there was a chance it wasn’t niki. 
you go back to your hiding spot, shrinking underneath the covers. next thing you know, the bedroom door flings open. you tense.
however, a call of your name allows you to let out a sigh of relief. you hop up, “niki!”
he grins, looking rather cute in his ruffled school uniform, backpack slung off one shoulder. you stop yourself, horrified at your thought. at your face falling, he cocks his head. “what’s wrong?”
you laugh awkwardly, “nothing! nothing at all!” 
he gives you an unconvinced look but doesn’t press further. 
“you must’ve been bored without me.” 
that was the niki you’ve come to know (in the span of a day or so).  sarcasm drips from your lips as you laugh dryly, “sure.” 
but you knew he was right and he knew it too. 
“i spent the day looking through the pictures, but i couldn’t find much else,” you frown. 
“same here. today was pretty normal, no one seemed any different than usual…” 
“i mean, the mood has been somber ever since you,” he pauses, “left. but nothing out of the ordinary.” 
you seemingly deflate, but niki perks up. “i talked to jungwon and he said he’s going to try and get your phone next time. we can only hope that someone charges it or that we can charge it ourselves.” 
you nod, “that’s good.” 
“but, don’t you have work to do? what about your family?”
you realized you didn’t see or even hear of them yesterday. 
“oh, they usually stay late at the dance academy—me included. but my grades haven’t been good recently, so they’ve been forcing me to go to home and study…”
you tsk as niki gives you a sheepish look. 
“you know, while we’re waiting, i’m not too bad at studying myself. what do you need help with?” 
niki rolls his eyes, “thanks, but no thanks. i don’t need another person on my back about my grades.” 
instead, he falls back onto his bed with an oof. 
“don’t worry, i’ll manage. let’s just talk about our next step. 
“step? as in, my case?
“yeah,“ his eyes glint, “i have an idea.”
you were starting to believe he was getting more invested in this than you were. 
“okay—shoot.”
what was the worse thing he could suggest?
“we should sneak you into school-“
your eyes practically bulge as you gape at him. “excuse me? weren’t you the one saying i was going too far with sneaking into my own house and you want me to do what?” 
niki gets up, placing his arms on your shoulders to calm you. strangely enough, it did. 
“hear me out first—we sneak into school at night, bust open your locker, and see what you have. that’s better than waiting for jungwon.”
“don’t you think the police would have already looked through my locker? 
“well, he looks around nervously, “as far as i’ve heard, the police were already mostly convinced the case was closed and didn’t care to check. but, what can i say? rumors are just rumors.” 
you purse your lips. what did you have to lose? being in a different world made you much more reckless than you would have ever thought. but that didn’t mean you were going to be stupid about it.
“fine.” 
niki winces at your tone, but you speak up,
“how in this stupid multiverse crap am i going to break into my own locker? and with cameras all around school?
he smirks and you raise an eyebrow.
“i didn’t miss a whole chem lecture for nothing—“ 
confused, you give him a look as if to say, what in the world are you talking about? 
“who said we had to know the combination?” he takes out a pair of keys form his pocket. 
you gasp in awe, clasping a hand over your mouth.
you gaze at him with wide eyes for a second, causing him to look at you questioningly. 
“you’re actually being smart...” 
his confused expression immediately changes to one of irritation. 
you stand up straight again, “how did you even get those keys? and what about the cameras?” 
he winks and you glance at him, trying to remain expressionless. if there was anything you noticed, it was that niki was actually quite attractive. it made you wonder if he was popular at school…
“it’s a secret. don’t worry about it.” 
“you sure have a lot of secrets, niki. like, is niki even your real name?” you squint accusingly. 
niki chokes on his spit, “how in the world did you know?” 
you falter. “huh? it isn’t?” 
he clears his throat, “anyway, i have to get up early for school tomorrow.” 
you eye him but decide to let it go. niki shrugs, “usually i’m up playing games, but you look like you need the sleep with those eye bags. you aren’t surprised.
“tomorrow night,” he says shortly after. “i’ve got a plan—you just have to trust me.”
turns out said plan was dumb, but you really had no other choice. 
niki made some lame excuse to his teachers about staying late to study- and his teachers, being utterly shocked that he offered to study, immediately agreed to let him linger. 
meanwhile, niki would sneak you in, wearing one of his old uniforms that was too small for him so that just in case, no one would question anything. along with one of his totally inconspicuous baseball caps to hide your face and hair. 
you sigh, you couldn't believe you were sneaking into school through the boys bathroom. you groan while maneuvering through the window. niki shushes you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him. he raises his hands playfully and you resist the urge to smack him. 
on your way to jump down from the window, your left foot gets caught on the ledge. you stumble forward, expecting to be met with the revolting bathroom floor face first. instead, perhaps now was the time to thank the universe (in this case, his universe?) for niki’s quick reflexes.
he inhales, catching you by catching and pulling you towards him instead of the ground, essentially into his arms. 
instead of faceplanting into the ground rather foolishly, you fall into his strangely soft and warm chest. you let out a barely discernible squeak, unable to respond due to the pounding of your heart. 
after a couple of seconds—that felt like forever— niki lets you go with a shake of his head. 
“my god y/n, i had no clue you were this clumsy. please don’t ever do that again.” 
please don’t ever make me sneak into a nasty teenage bathroom again, you wish you could retort. 
you shake your head quickly, lips pressed thinly together. don’t get distracted, you remind yourself.  “yeah-thanks. let’s uh, just hurry.“
you don’t have time to wonder what would the consequences be if you got caught by cameras or anyone else while niki leads you down the familiar hallways. 
“how do you know which one’s my locker? i thought you said we didn’t really know each other?“ you eye him suspiciously.
he scoffs, “don’t get too excited. mine’s just a couple lockers down so i was bound to see you at your locker by some point.” 
he hands you the keys and you gratefully accept—your hands slightly trembling. you didn’t know what to expect. 
niki watches from behind, and you can feel his warm breath on you occasionally, causing you to shiver.
with a slight click and creak of the rusty locker door, the locker opens. you hold your breath at first glance. it’s…. normal? 
normal as in any average high schoolers locker one would expect. what catches your eye first are a couple of photos of you and your friends. 
on deeper inspection of yourself (it was still weird to imagine and even weirder to see) you see a twinkling, intricate chain around your neck. maybe you were tripping (again, but mentally this time) or that necklace you had on seems really expensive? 
“there’s no way,” you suddenly gasp and turn to niki with wide eyes. 
“what?” niki starts to panic, “what is it?” 
“am i actually loaded in this world?” 
niki pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. “jesus, you scared me. i mean, you didn’t seem like it.. who knows where you got that super expensive, luxury brand necklace? it looks familiar…“ 
you try your hardest not to roll your eyes. of course, niki would know. 
“how much are you talking?” 
he taps his foot on the floor, “well, my mom and sister likes that brand. that specific necklace is specially made since it’s a seasonal limited edition, so it’s somewhere in the thousands-“
you truly forgot how rich niki’s family was, you think with a half joking tch and a shake of your head. niki glances at you, impressed. 
“-whoever gave that to you must’ve really cared.” 
you frown, “sure… or maybe i just really worked hard to get it for myself?” 
he’s shoots you an amused look, “you wanted to get yourself the valentine day’s collection necklace? 
“what?” 
you feel your heart rate begin to pick up, “are you implying what i think you are? 
“yes?” he responds with a raised eyebrow, “someone must’ve been really in love with you to gift you that. maybe your parents or friends?” 
then niki pokes your side playfully, “-or a secret admirer?” 
you don’t answer his question, regardless of if he was being serious or not. you peer into the locker again, “but where is it? it’s so valuable i’m certain we would’ve seen it in the police’s evidence…” 
suddenly, niki grabs your wrist. that’s when you hear the footsteps. you turn to him with wide eyes as he mouths for you to hide.  panicking, you look around in desperation before he pushes you—
straight into the locker. 
your own locker. 
you know you should be freaking out over getting caught, but you could only wonder—could this be considered a crime? 
in the dark, stuffy locker, you see a glimpse of niki’s silhouette run past through the tiny openings of the door. just barely a second later, you hear more footsteps. squinting, you able to discern a familiar, yet weirdly unfamiliar guy. your eyebrows raise. 
no way. park sunghoon was in this world too? 
you hold your breath when you hear him call out, “is someone there?” 
really, curse niki for shoving you in your own locker. yet it was also a smart move as no one could see into your locker, but you were able to see out. 
“sorry. that was me, pres.” 
it was niki’s voice. 
you can barely see his relaxed demeanor appearing to face sunghoon. 
“i was staying back to study and catch up on work—you know already,” he adds hastily. 
sunghoon nods coolly, “i was just checking. making sure everything’s good before leaving.” 
niki was a little too good at acting, you questioned how often he had done this to those around him. he fake salutes, “i promise to clean up after i’m done. no need to worry, class president.” 
“alright, see you later.” 
you have a sigh of relief as sunghoon turns to leave. 
but you swear, for a split second, his expression changes as his eyes fall on your locker. 
your heart rate picks up. did he notice you? 
however, sunghoon leaves without a second look back. 
you frown—what was that? 
after waiting a minute to be safe, niki quickly lets you out. only to be greeted by your displeased face and crossed arms. 
“that was the only thing i could think of in the moment!” he immediately defends himself. 
“seriously? i could’ve-like-“ you trail off and niki smirks.
“see? nothing bad would’ve happened.”
“doesn’t change the fact you stuffed me in my locker. it’s not even mine, for crying out loud.” 
“whatever. just be glad you didn’t get caught by park sunghoon, our school’s super rich, smart, and handsome-“
“i know him from my world. he’s irrelevant, let’s continue on.” you wave him off. 
you can’t help but compare him to niki. niki was way more genuine and… boyish in a way? he felt real. you preferred that. not to mention he had a much more tolerable presence, you supposed. 
everything else in the locker was useless. random crappy notes, perfumes and hand lotions, along with the pictures you already inspected were the only things that decorated your locker. no sign of that ridiculously expensive necklace. 
you rub a hand over your face in exasperation. “that’s it…”
one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. where was the necklace? 
“hey, y/n, i think we should get going soon. the lights are going to turn off soon-they’re automatic and we didn’t bring any flashlights.” 
you sigh. next time. 
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it feels like you’ve hit a dead end. by the end of the week, niki has caught up on his studies. you were surprised to find that he was quite dedicated to school, even if it didn’t seem like it. 
the days that niki came home with a pile of schoolwork and other duties, you went out to think—with one of niki’s hoodies and a mask on. but the times you spent with niki since you couldn’t go out much, mainly at night, were nice. 
tutoring him at subjects he was struggling in, learning new dances together (and learning how talented he really was), simply being around him was enough to distract you from your impending crisis. 
niki always came to keep you company and bring you food. you really were his eleven. 
niki was gaming while you sat off to the side, watching him play. you admired his side profile, the shine from the bright computer screen enhancing his features, the furrow of his eyebrow as he focused. 
he yells as his character dies and you can’t hold back your laughter, “you kinda suck-“
all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door. 
“bro, you good? i swear i heard another voice-“
the door handle begins to turn.
you and niki share a look of panic. 
your first instinct is to dive and roll, underneath niki’s bed. you ignore the fact that it’s as dusty as you’d expect for a teenage boy’s room and hold your breath. 
“mom said dinner is ready. also, what’s with all the noise? it sounded like someone else was in the room with you.” a girls voice—niki’s older sister, you presume. 
“nope. just me.” 
you cringe at the fact that niki’s voice is octaves higher. it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if his voice wasn’t as deep as it normally was. 
“it was just probably the video i was playing.” 
“…sure,” you hear his sister’s footsteps as she leaves and shuts the door behind her. 
you let out an exhale of relief. 
“y/n?” you hear soon after. 
“under here.” 
you turn to see niki’s head peeking down underneath the bed. 
you meet his curious eyes. cute. 
“jeez.” he holds a hand out and you gladly accept it, letting him pull you up with ease. huffing, you dust yourself off. 
“jeez, indeed. who knows what horrors you’ve been hiding under there.”
“hey,” niki defends himself, “i’ll have you know i am a very clean person and don’t-“
“oh really? then what’s this?” you hold up the sacred item, jerking your hand back as he reaches out to snatch it. 
“hey! haven’t you ever heard of privacy?” 
he lunges again as you laugh, just keeping it out of his grasp. however, you feel the bed frame hit your legs, and you gasp. 
you fall back, niki over you on his bed. he must’ve underestimated his arm-span and overestimated yours. 
niki lands over you with a soft grunt, eyes wide. you peer up at him wordlessly. his arms catch him, but it’s still so close you can feel his hair tickle your forehead. 
is this what the movies mean when your heart… skips a beat? 
niki snaps out of his trance, “s-sorry,” he hastily gets up. you cough, trying to dispel the stuffy atmosphere. 
“so, uh, i had an idea.”
“yeah? what’s up?”
“i was thinking we look at the evidence again. i just want to double check something.”
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“come on,” you take niki’s hand. it was habitual by this point. 
“you got the charger, right?”
niki nods, taking it out of his pocket. 
it was risky asking niki’s friend to retrieve the evidence for you again, but you needed to confirm your suspicions. or, hit a dead end. 
when niki returns, carefully holding a plastic bag (and dinner, your grumbling stomach reminds you), your eyes zero in on one thing. 
“thanks. i know it must be hard for your friend to sneak behind his dad’s back like that.” 
“it’s fine,” niki shrugs, “i promised to buy him lunch for the next week.” 
you snort as you take out “your” phone and plug it into the charger. 
“okay. now we wait.” 
niki looks at you expectantly, and you only stare at him back. subconsciously, a hand raises to your face. “is there something wrong?”
he shakes his head while looking away sheepishly, “nothing, nothing.”
you open your mouth to question him further, but the phone screen flashes. you scramble to open it. thankfully you were able to use your own face id. 
as soon as you scroll through your messages, your stomach sinks. you raise a hand to cover your mouth. 
“what?” niki jumps up, “what did you find?”
you open the photos app, which only confirms everything. you drop the phone, and that’s when niki sees it. 
“oh my god.” 
“don’t even-“
“i was secretly dating park sunghoon?!”
you cup a hand over your mouth. “i think i’m gonna be sick.” 
niki scoffs, taken aback. “b-but how? you- and him-?”
you rub a hand over your face. “don’t ask me. but the valentines gifts and necklace were so suspicious, i started wondering… i just didn’t expect it to be him.” 
niki notices the sour expression on your face. 
“oh. you don’t like him?”
you shake your head vehemently, “bro, not even if he and i were the last two people on earth.”
you think about your world’s sunghoon and almost shudder. he was selfish, arrogant, could but would never keep a girl for more than two weeks. yet the whole class still loved him and you never understood it, never understood the appeal of him. 
besides getting bro-zoned, niki relished your words. 
“good to know.” 
“i wish i didn’t,” you sigh.
but that was besides the point. you still didn’t know how it all added up. did sunghoon—unfortunately, your boyfriend in this world—have anything to do with your death? did he really get you that expensive necklace? 
and as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t rule it out. thinking as rationally and fairly as possible, suicide was likely-as much as you didn’t believe it. you couldn’t rule it out simply based on a feeling. plus, his expression when he passed by your locker lingered in your mind. 
“so, now what?” niki watches you carefully. 
“you’ve heard of the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?”
“yeah,” he cocks an eyebrow, “why?”
“well, i’ve got a task for you.” 
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niki has never spoken a word to your friend group in his entire life. the most he’s ever done was send a cold look their way and pretend not to know them out in public. 
he had nothing against them—nothing against your choice of friends—but he preferred not to associate with your group. he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he just didn’t vibe with them. 
and yet here he was, talking to your “friends” because you asked him to. he sighed, the things he did for you. 
danielle looks him up and down with her arms crossed. “why are you asking about y/n? since when did you care about them?”
“please,” he sighs in exasperation, “i just need to know if anyone disliked y/n or was acting suspicious around them.”
haerin steps up, an annoyed frown on her face. “there’s no one. can’t you tell this is a touchy subject for us? now, leave us alone.” 
she grabs danielle and walks off, angrily whispering into a distressed looking danielle’s ears. 
niki wants to punch someone. besides the fact that surrounding people were catching onto his conversation and whispering about the interaction, he essentially got nothing out of it. 
you were also at a dead end. after scrolling through hundreds of disgusting texts and photos of you and sunghoon, there was nothing remotely suspicious. plus, you had to give your phone back to jungwon soon before anyone noticed it was missing. 
everything seemed normal. everything was normal. normal until this world’s you suddenly died. 
the only lead you had was the missing necklace. and yet where were you supposed to find it? it could be anywhere—in the police’s hands, with sunghoon, most likely gone. 
you couldn’t even go out on your own, you felt like a hopeless rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately wishing for answers and freedom. it was starting to get to you. the stress, homesickness, and most of all, loneliness. 
you throw your phone to the side and bury your face in your hands, trying your best to focus on your breathing. you almost don’t realize how long it’s been until you hear a faint call of your name. 
“y/n? y/n, what’s wrong?” niki drops his backpack and rushes to your side. 
his eyes carefully examine your body, checking for who knows what. you slowly lower your hands, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face. 
what scared niki the most was the lost look in your eyes, a deep and dark pool void of any emotion. 
“niki… i don’t think i can do this anymore,” your words float out carefully, like a whisper of the wind. 
“i’m trying my hardest, but it’s so frustrating. i miss my home, i miss my life. i miss myself.” as soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel yourself break down. and right as you do so, niki reaches forward to wrap you in an embrace. 
“i want to go home,” you whisper in an small voice. 
his heart almost breaks at the sight. you sounded like a little kid—you looked like you were a little kid again, as small and curled up you were when he found you. in his eyes, he saw a lost child looking for their parents, their guidance and their own light in the world. 
he resolves to never be the cause of your pain again. 
niki holds you for the entire night as you cry and drift off to sleep. 
you wake up with a headache and a dry throat. you feel hungover, although you’ve basically never drank alcohol before. 
somehow, you’re not sure exactly when, you ended up in niki’s bed. as soon as you’re able to sit up, your eyes fall on the clock on the bedside table. 
11 am. niki must be at school still, you note. 
you wonder what he’s up to, if he was being a good student while you were stuck all alone at his home, skipping your own school. you wonder what life is like back at home. did time even pass? 
niki heads home as soon as the bell rings. he wanted to see you, to comfort you and reassure you. he wanted you to be okay. 
when he knocks on his own bedroom door and there’s no response, he frowns. all there’s left is a pink sticky note on his desk. 
went out for fresh air. don’t worry and don’t look for me. 
niki immediately drops his stuff and runs out. he goes to the train station, the bookstore. he even goes back to school, for crying out loud. 
he’s breathless and exhausted by the time he’s arrived back home. niki knows his family won’t be back. it was competition season, which meant the busiest time of the year for the other dancers. you were the sole reason he attended school at this time of the year, studying hard instead of skipping and dancing 18 hours each day. 
he’s scared. 
niki hasn’t felt this feeling in a long time—he can only recall the time where he was six and went to disney world. his older sister was pressuring him into riding one of the larger roller coasters, and he felt that sickening nausea fill him as he looked up at the towering structure. 
he almost gives up. he basically has, until he notices something strange. his balcony door is unlocked, and he always kept it locked for safety purposes.
tense, niki reaches out and slowly turns the handle. what greets him is certainly not what he expected. 
you sit on the balcony railing, hanging over the edge quite precariously with your feet swinging. one slight mistake and you would fall. 
you stare down at the passing cars, cloudy and dreary skies showing you it was soon to rain.
niki stares at you, and you turn around at the sound of the door to stare back, not a single word exchanged. 
then you finally break the eye contact, glancing down at your stilled feet. “i wasn’t going to do it.” 
he silently moves closer, hopping next to you on the railing as well. “okay.” 
you don’t see the tender way his eyes travel over you. your voice is quiet as you speak up, “you don’t have to say anything.”
“okay,” niki repeats. 
it’s not said in a sarcastic way. it’s not sad, either. it’s just..... soft. soft and understanding enough to make a blanket of comfort fall around you, to make it known that niki’s presence is here by your side.
suddenly, the rains starts and niki asks if you want to go down. you slowly nod and he helps you safely off the railing before opening the door for you guys go out in the rain. 
the rain doesn’t stop. 
and niki doesn’t stop either. he grabs your hand, dragging you along with him haphazardly. 
“where are we going?” you ask breathlessly. 
“out. like most people our age. we’re still kids.” 
“wow, i had no idea,” you mutter sarcastically. 
he holds back a smile of relief. good to know you were still your usual self. 
“you need a break. you’ve been so caught up in this case, you need to rest.”
“but-“
“come on,” he leads you on, “relax. it’ll give you a clear mind, so we can come back with a fresh start.” 
you’re hesitant until he pulls up at an arcade. “what if someone sees me? what if they-“
niki places a finger over your lips, silencing you. “we’re here to have fun like everyone else and not give a crap about anything else. now, are you gonna play or are you gonna get your butt kicked by me?”
a challenge was a challenge. 
you laugh at niki’s rambunctious side, yelling as he tries to cheat during competitive games and fight over the better toy gun. 
“just so you know, i technically won.” 
you playfully shove him, “in your dreams. you’re just saying that because you don’t want to-“
you get cut off by the loudest (and most embarrassing) grumble of your stomach. you both look down at your stomach. you look back up, petrified. 
niki almost cackles, “i guess that’s a sign.”
“it’s not my fault i fell asleep before eating yesterday,” you pout. 
“what do you want to eat?”
“anything. i’m serious.” 
niki watches with a fond smile as you quite literally inhale your food. 
“eat any faster, and you’ll make a new record.”
you flip him off as he laughs, putting more food onto your plate from his. you can only watch wordlessly, feeling your heart warm. after you finish eating, niki takes your hand again. you glance at him questioningly. 
“there’s one last thing i wanted to do,” he mumbles while avoiding your gaze. 
“how’s this one?”
you scrunch your nose in distaste at the sight, reaching to place red devil horns on niki’s head.
“i think this one fits you more.”
as he grumbles, you laugh. 
“fine, but i get to choose yours.” 
he ends up picking a frog headband for you—which you complain to no avail. his reasoning was, “you remind me of a frog. like the princess and the frog.”
you splutter, “but that means-“
“yes. i’m the princess.”
“obviously,” he adds. 
in the photo booth, you sit awkwardly. niki cocks an eyebrow. 
“i’ve never done this before, so…"
instead of teasing you like you originally assumed, niki only brings you closer. he wraps an arm around you while posing for the camera. you’re frozen, even as the countdown starts. you can barely manage a smile as the camera flashes. 
“what now?”
niki glances at the screen, “we still have three more pictures. what poses do you want to do?”
you’re at a loss for words. 
niki leans closer again. he makes a half heart with his hand as he looks at you expectantly. “how about a heart pose?”
“o-okay.”
you never felt so suffocated in that photo booth. and yet, you’ve never laughed harder. you’ve never been so happy in your life with someone else.  
“hey, this photo came out good!”
“but what happened to the first one?”
you both lean in to get a closer look at the photos that printed, and you end up feeling niki’s breath on your cheek. 
it was warm. it was nice to have someone so close to you and still feel comfortable. it was nice to know you were close enough to someone to feel that way. 
it was something you had never felt before. 
“..-y/n?”
“huh?” you snap out of your trance.
“i said, you can keep this copy.” 
you look at the pictures and then at niki. “what? no, it’s fine-“
“i said keep it,” he forcefully shoves the photo into your hand as he quickly heads over to the cashier to pay. 
you stand there for a minute, looking at the photos. you guys looked happy. you guys looked good…together. like you were a real couple, or something. you internally chide yourself while taking off your headband. what a silly thought, you brush off. 
on the walk back home, you feel utterly satisfied, humming as you match your pace with niki’s.
“when we arrive, i’ll let you in through the back, just to be safe.”
“whatever you say, mr. responsible.” 
he ruffles your hair and you swat his hand away in annoyance.
that night was the first night you’ve felt content. almost like you could stay here—like you belonged. you stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on the days events. 
“niki?”
you hear his bed shift. “yeah?”
“i just wanted to say thanks. for everything. you’ve been providing everything for me, all while helping me on my case. i’m grateful for everything. i don’t know how, but i promise to pay you back one day.”
“what’s with the sudden sappiness?” his tone is teasing, but light. he clears his throat to add, “but yeah, of course.”
“i dunno, i guess i’m just not used to this type of treatment back home.”
“what? what do you mean?” 
even in the dark, you can feel inquisitive stare on you. 
“i mean, i’m usually left on my own since my parents are working. and my friends, well, they’re nice and all…”
“but you don’t feel a true connection?” he finishes, and you roll over.
“yeah. i don’t really know what my friends are like in this world. who even are my friends? do i even have any?”
niki grimaces. 
“uh, yeah. i don’t know if they exist in your world, but have you heard of danielle? and haerin?”
“nope. what are they like?” 
he shifts again, and the bed creaks. “you see, i don’t really talk to your friend group. it’s nothing personal, i just don’t want to associate with them.”
“dang, maybe it really is just a me problem, in every life too.” 
you hadn’t thought about hanni and hyein since you got here. but danielle and haerin were two new leads. a new start, perhaps. 
now that you had more information from niki, you started your research again. specifically, insta-stalking. 
your specialty. 
niki hands you his phone with a suspicious look when you casually ask for it. you pray he doesn’t hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears or the pounding of your heart. 
as he goes to do his night time routine, you quickly tap on the instagram app and search up danielle’s name. it doesn’t take long for you to find her account since niki followed her. checking to make sure he didn’t come out of the bathroom, you scroll through her feed. 
and your heart stops when you see it. in the corner of a photo—a picture of her and haerin posing at school in front of their lockers. 
that’s your ridiculously expensive bracelet on danielle’s arm. you’re sure of it. 
you felt yourself grow nauseous as you quickly turn off niki’s phone as soon as you hear the door turn. 
“hey, are you okay? you look like you just saw a ghost..”
you blink and smile, peeking at him innocently, although the dread grows in the pit of your stomach. “huh? no. what are you talking about?”
“what were you doing on my phone?”
you look away sheepishly, “trying to see if i could call my mom?” maybe niki’s acting skills were rubbing off on you. 
“oh, and?” 
you shake your head, a fake grim expression plastered on your face. 
that night, you lay awake staring into the darkness. when you hear niki’s soft snores, you sneak over to his bedside table to retrieve the key. you know you shouldn’t, but you felt this was something you needed to do alone. 
you feel like you’re on the edge of the cliff, about to jump into the water. the adrenaline filled you, you were right there-
it was so close.
the next day, you have to pretend everything is okay. you smile when niki greets you good morning, even peck him on the cheek when he tells you he has to stop by the dance studio for the night. 
he visibly blushes, stuttering on his words, “w-uh, w-what was that.. for..?”
you shrug, “i’m just proud of you for getting your grades up. it’s your first time back dancing in a while so have fun, okay?” 
he nods, beaming as he squeezes your hand goodbye. as he leaves, your smile fades. it felt too normal. it felt too right to imagine having a life with niki, like this everyday.
and knowing what you knew now, it was wrong. it was wrong from the start, and yet you couldn't help yourself fall even deeper. you had to get back into the right mental state. you couldn't keep deluding yourself.
it was time to confront the truth.
you can’t believe you’re sneaking into through the school boy’s bathroom again. the locker key safely stored in your pocket, you find danielle’s locker. the same one from the photo she posted. 
this had to be the one. you can only hold your breath and hope as you unlock it. 
you quickly scramble through all the stuff, looking for the shiny bracelet. you don’t find it, but when you go to close the locker door in defeat, a crumpled up piece of paper falls onto the floor. 
you huff, taking it and opening it up. it’s a picture of sunghoon, you, and danielle, all smiling as you three posed for the camera. but it wasn’t just an ordinary picture—there was a big, red “X” scribbled over your face, with the words “finally done” written next to it. 
and hearts next to sunghoon’s face. 
horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth. 
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during a break at the dance studio, niki doesn’t expect to open his instagram app and see danielle’s instagram show up on his recently searched. frowning, he taps on the account. he never cared to pay attention to danielle, so why was her account the last thing searched up? 
just out of curiosity, he scrolls through her recent posts. 
and then he sees it. something that is so hard to miss. it’s so strikingly familiar. 
he rushes home. when niki bursts through the front door, he doesn’t expect to find you missing. and when niki notices his old school uniform and cap gone, his heart drops. 
you sit on the floor next to the lockers  with your head buried on top of your knees. you’re sure you could get caught, but you don’t care. 
the crumpled picture feels heavy in your pocket. 
you stay there, staring at the walls until you see the moon shining brightly outside one of the windows. you haven’t eaten or drank anything the whole day. you’re not sure how long it’s been. 
“y/n!” 
great, now you were hearing things as well? 
furious footsteps stomp towards you.
“why did you leave without telling me? you could’ve gotten caught-it could’ve been dangerous?!”
“n-niki?” your eyes widen. 
before saying anything else, he pulls you up to your feet. 
“why would you come to school without me?”
for some reason, his words sting. you cross your arms, “what? like i can’t take care of myself?” 
he groans, “that’s besides the point! if someone saw you—“
“i don’t care! so why do you care so—“
a sound from down the hall cuts you both off. you turn to niki in panic and he curses. “the custodian comes on weekends to clean.”
you hold back a yelp as niki grabs your wrist and pulls you along in the opposite direction. 
he pushes through a door and turns to the left. you don’t stop until you’re inside the.. natatorium? 
“why are we-“
“there are no cameras here, unlike in the school building. i thought you would’ve known that.”
after he speaks, there’s an awkward silence. 
niki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “well, are you gonna tell me?”
you feel the frustration flow through your veins, “and what about you? you tell me why i have to let you know my every location? why i feel like i can’t take care of myself, l-like a sick, old dog who can’t go anywhere or do anything? i’m sick of it all!” 
“you don’t understand,” his voice raises,  and you interrupt him, getting closer and closer to him. 
“you’re right, i don’t. i don’t understand why you helped me in the first place. you say that you barely knew who i was, yet here you are acting like you care! like you cared about the dead me!”
at this point, his face is so close to yours, you can feel your breaths mix as neither of you back down. 
“i do care! of course i care! about you, standing right in front of me!” he clenches his fists. your eyes linger on a single vein on his neck that sticks out due to the intensity. the fire burning in his eyes, your trembling voices, it all makes you falter. 
you don’t know what you asked. you know the truth. niki always cared—more than cared. he always went out of his way to search for you, like the day on the balcony and today. he wanted to find you, he wanted to have you in his life, 
you realize it now. to put simply, he wanted you. 
and this was the first time you felt wanted. 
you don’t know what else to do, so you lean in and close the gap to kiss him. and if anything, niki immediately pulls you closer to him. 
when you break apart for air, his dark eyes still staring deep into yours, you think he’s gonna lean back in again. but you hear a faint voice sound, growing louder. your eyes both widen. the janitor.
without a second thought, niki pushes you. 
he does it lightly, although it’s still enough to make you lose your balance, and for a second you stare back at him, betrayal evident before you fall backwards—
straight into the pool. 
your eyes just barely peek open in the water, and then there’s a splash accompanying yours a few seconds later. 
he easily swims to you, cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips to his once more. it was a much different experience from just a few seconds ago. 
you stay entwined like that together, eyes squeezed shut, until you actually can’t breathe anymore and you have to smack niki’s arm. you both rise to the top, heaving water and air. 
after a few seconds of coughing and gathering your bearings, niki’s raspy voice fills the air. 
“at least he’s gone. i’ve always wanted to do that.”
you roll your eyes, splashing water back at him in revenge for pushing you earlier. “seriously? after we got almost got caught? we could’ve drowned!”  
you splash him again, “also, you could’ve given me a heads up!”
he grins, wiping the running water free from his face. “and where’s the fun in that?”
you shake your head in amazement, “you’re actually an idiot. i can’t believe you, niki.” 
“an idiot who saved us from getting caught.”
after returning home together, you sit and enjoy the peaceful silence as niki dries your hair. your mind can’t help but replay the last few moments, from finding the picture at school to kissing niki, and then finally get pushed into the pool. specifically, the kissing part. 
growing sleepy at the soft and warm feeling of niki’s hands running through your hair, you almost don’t hear him when he says, “all done.”
you thank him and he looks around awkwardly. 
“what is it?” you squint at him. 
“well, i wanted to apologize. i didn’t mean to make to feel that way. i was just really worried about you, and i felt hurt you didn’t tell me why you snuck into school again today. did you not trust me? did i do something wrong?”
you soften, eyes falling to the floor. 
“i’m so sorry, niki. i didn’t mean to lash out on you. of course i trust you, i just wanted to do something for myself for once. without needing your or anyone else’s help.” 
you exhale, “the reason i left today was for this—“ you take the damp, crumpled picture and unfold it as best as you can. 
niki’s hands fall to his side. “oh god.”
“it was danielle. she took my bracelet and i-i think she wanted my boyfriend. i know it has to be her.”
“w-what? but how?”
you shake your head. he goes to hug you. 
you feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyes, but you won’t waste any tears on her. you pull back to look at niki, with a determined expression on your face. 
“you have to catch her and make sure they get what they deserve.” 
niki stares at you deeply, “are you sure? because if you are, i won’t stop.”
he wonders why you say you and not we.
at that, you falter. 
“no. i never be sure because she is—was my best friend and i will always hold that guilt in me. but you have to do something about it.” 
niki’s hold around you tightens, “and what about you?”
you smile, albeit sadly. “you know i can’t stay here, hiding away forever. i don’t belong here. i already existed in your world, and at some point, i have to leave soon. i can feel it.” 
it was the same feeling as when you first came here. that day you felt off. the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere, but this time, you feel fulfilled. complete. like you were ready to go back home. 
“it’s not something i can explain, but i know it,” you look at him with determined eyes. 
and he looks back at you with pained ones. 
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niki is able to convince jungwon to get his dad to reinvestigate the case again. the picture is given up as evidence, and danielle and haerin are taken in. 
the day they confessed out of guilt, you and niki celebrate by sneaking onto your school’s rooftop. the same place where it all started.
it’s a cold and windy night, but you could care less about getting sick. because it was your last day anyway. 
you didn’t tell niki, but you had a good feeling—like the world was patting you on the back and saying, “you worked hard.” 
the two of you watch the stars, snuggled up and reflecting on how your lives came to be like this. wondering how far away apart your worlds were. 
you kiss niki’s cheek, wishing to remember the feeling of being in his arms forever. his scent, his touch, his warmth, you wish you could keep all of it. you smile at him, willing back the tears. 
“there was a reason i bumped into you that day, of all people. there was a reason you came into my life, and i came into yours, niki.” 
he bites his lip, “y/n... you changed my life. every day with you was better than the last.” 
if this was a dream, you wouldn’t want to wake up. you trace his face, so it will remain ingrained in your mind forever, even when you go back to your world. 
“what will happen when i leave?” you whisper. 
“how will you even get back home?”
you shrug, “i don’t know how, but i know that i will.”
niki laughs, “that’s the y/n i know.”
as he kisses you once more, a star falls across the sky. 
the next day, you find a ticket in your bag. a train ticket. 
you don’t recall having bought one, and you don’t question niki. you only ask him to take you to the train station.
while walking hand and hand, you reminisce on the past month or so. “will we still remember this once you go back to your world?”
your body trembles, “i don’t know.”
“then… will i ever see you again?”
you don’t want to meet his eyes, because you know you’ll cry. 
yes, you want to say. instead, you say, “ i don’t know.”
niki wipes a stray tear on your face. you don’t even know how you reached your stop already. 
“this is it,” he says. 
but neither of you move. 
“don’t worry, even if i don’t remember you, you’ll always be in my heart. we’ll meet in your world,” he reminds you while the tears start falling down both of your faces. 
“don’t forget that there’s another me out there to annoy you. you just need to search hard.” 
you sniffle, playfully pushing him away as you furiously blink away the tears that blur your vision. you needed to soak up the sight of him as much of him as you could.
“i promise i’ll find you again.” 
he holds onto you until the very end, until you slip out of his grasp once more.
crossing the platform into the train while giving him one last, slow wave was painful. the last thing you can think of is the fact that you never knew. you never asked for niki’s full name. his real one. 
you never knew niki’s name.
and then everything fades into nothing. 
that’s the last time niki ever sees you. the train passes by in a flash, blowing his bangs across his face while he tries his best to keep that fake smile on his face for you—all for you before you go. 
then, you’re gone. 
in those seconds as the train passes, niki knows exactly why he did it. why he helped you through all of it, through everything together. 
all because you were there in class. you never looked at him, but he looked at you. he saw all of you, everyday—even if you didn’t know it. all your quirks and habits that he couldn’t help but find cute. you made his days interesting. 
but he was the coward for never approaching you. that was his fault because one day, you weren’t there anymore. 
and he had to pretend like nothing happened. on the outside, that’s how it was. even if he felt the slightest connection, tiniest pull towards you, you were still strangers. 
you were strangers until you knocked into him on the train platform. 
niki had to be selfish. he thinks it could have been fate that he saw you again, but now he’s just left with the lingering regret and feelings. those memories flash past like the train does. they come and go in the blink of an eye- a split second. 
when the train is gone, niki frowns and wonders why he’s standing there. 
he also wonders why it feels like there’s a piece of his heart missing. 
after that, he attends your funeral in his world. it was an open funeral to everyone who wanted to come- classmates, friends, and him. niki didn’t even know you that well, but he get this unexpalaniable urge that he should go- he needs to go. he brings flowers and gets to see you one last time. 
when niki sees the picture of your serene face, he can’t help but get this sense of peace, like everything’s resolved. 
and then he’s free.
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epilogue...
you sigh, trudging along the walkway on the way to work. looking at your surroundings, you were getting major deja vu. but at this point, you were used to having episodes like that. 
there were many, many times where some things simply felt so familiar. but it was like your memory was wiped and you couldn’t remember why. some times you had flashes of an adventure, a feeling of mystery, a boy. 
ever since some day in high school, it just happened. and from then on, you’ve always felt like something was missing. or wrong. you can’t tell. it became a part of you, to the point where you almost forgot about it. that feeling of misbelonging, being just out of reach. it’s strange, like a weird occurrence that makes you want to open your third eye or whatever to find out more.
even after graduating, it never left you. 
you being so lost in your thoughts, fail to notice when you bump into someone coming off the train you were about to get onto. 
“i’m sorry,” you quickly apologize, but you soon falter when you meet eyes with sparkling brown ones. weirdly enough, they draw you in. 
they were familiar, you’ve certainly seen them somewhere. the moment lasts for a while, with the two of you standing still in the middle of the passway, staring at each other.  
you slowly smile, extending a hand. “i apologize if i’m mistaken, but have we met before?”
he stares at you too, confused yet enthralled. 
“i-i think you may be mistaken,” he starts hesitantly and you begin to apologize. 
“are you sure?“ you quickly introduce yourself, “and you?”
you swore you were not such a desperate person, but you couldn’t help it, not this time and definitely not in front of this particularly alluring guy.  
“me?”
he takes a quick glance at you before taking your hand with a small smile. 
“my name is nishimura riki.”
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first i wanted to say thank you for reading! this was a rough time coming, and i wanted to apologize for the long wait. this has actually been a wip of mine for years and i finally was able to finish it with riki after months and months of writing. this past year has been the worst one so far, but i'm just grateful to still be here. just feeling super appreciative for those who stuck with me and waited patiently. thank you. can't wait to see you guys again soon with the next oneshot (hint hint)!
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drunkinyourbenz · 2 months ago
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ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU
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☆ SYNOPSIS: your parents' excitment about the election results left you with a pit of dread in your stomach. luckliy for you, you had billie, who helped you through it all.
☆ RELATIONSHIP: billie eilish x fem!reader
☆ WARNINGS: angst, comfort, politics, right wing family, implied homophobic family, long distance relationship (during tour)
☆ REQUESTED? yes, anon
☆ NOTE: hi my loves, i saw this request and just had to write it right away (literally wrote it in half an hour lmao) for anyone needing comfort as well as the anon who requested this, i hope you're doing okay. i'm not from america, but i'm also deeply dissapointed about the election results, and i feel for all of you who are there. i hope i did this request justice, i don't have a family who's like super against my views so i hope this is okay <3 anyone with family celebrating like the readers is in this story, please imagine me giving you the biggest hug rn, i hope you're coping okay. my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything at all, i love you all, please stay safe <33
☆ WORD COUNT: 1.2k words
you and billie had been dating for a while now, and she made you happier than anyone ever had before. she was your other half, and without her you would feel incomplete. you weren’t on tour with her, much to both of your disappointments. but you’d had personal things that took up your time at the start of tour, so the plan was that you’d join her once she came on tour to your city, and you’d join her for the rest of tour. despite not being on tour with her, your mind always drifted back to her, she had a permanent residence in your heart. 
so naturally, on election night, you sat in your room thinking about her. you wanted nothing more than to be held by her in this moment, you’d slipped away from dinner as soon as you could, but you could still hear your family’s excited chatter coming from downstairs. the fact that they were happy about the way it was going, the way they wanted a future that was so drastically different from the one you had in your mind… it stung. your parents genuinely wanted a future that you weren’t sure whether you had a place in, and you didn’t really know what to do with that information.
you were trying to stay off social media, to stay away from the news, because you knew it wouldn’t help you—you couldn’t change a thing. but every few minutes, you’d end up switching back to the tab on your laptop with the live updates, feeling a sense of dread settling in your stomach. you couldn’t quite comprehend how so many more people had voted for him, the man who made you genuinely fear for your future. 
so finally, you texted billie. you needed her comfort, even though it would just be her voice over a call. you needed her. 
can i call you??
billie replied not long after, her text simple. 
bils: ofc baby
her contact calling you came up on your screen before you could even move to call her, and you automatically accepted the face time. her face popped up on your phone after a moment, and as well as the tiredness from tour you’d been seeing so much of lately, she looked just as crestfallen as you. the two of you shared the same opinions on this, and you knew how much billie cared about it. 
just as the call loaded properly, you heard a loud cheer from downstairs, and you couldn’t stop the grimace that appeared on your face. billie’s lips curved down in a soft, sympathetic frown, “oh, baby.” 
a sigh left your lips, the sound somewhat defeated, “i just… i don’t know how they want that. it feels like they want a future that i’m not safe in–” billie cut you off with an understanding sigh, she knew that if she let you keep talking, you’d simply spiral. she knew what you meant, you felt a rift between you and your parents, you felt unsure of what that meant for your relationship with them. billie herself had never experienced it, with her own family being supportive and sharing her views, but she had always been good at comforting you. 
“i’m so sorry, baby. you know that me and my family have always got you, no matter what, yeah? we’ve got your back, we’re always here for you. all of us.” 
your lips curled into a soft pout, her words lessening the sadness you were feeling. “i love your family.”
she smiled softly at you, “and we love you. always.” 
you cracked a small smile at her words, the disappointment behind your eyes still very much evident, but you felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the people in your life. even if your blood-related family didn’t understand, you had your chosen family. that small fact that you had your people, who agreed with you on these things, it helped to soften the blow of your parents wanting the country to go down such a different path than you did. only slightly, but it helped. you felt the pain dull slightly. 
the two of you stayed on the phone for a while, billie distracting you from your parents downstairs by telling you about the tour so far. obviously, she was also upset about everything going on, but she knew you needed this support and that was more important than talking about it. she just wanted you to feel okay. you could feel the emotions hanging around both of you even through the phone, but you appreciated that she wasn’t mentioning them right now. you’d have plenty of time to talk about the election later, once you didn’t feel so despairing about the future. 
after about half an hour of the two of you just talking, you decided to ask her something. 
“bils?” 
“hmm?” she hummed, looking up as if she could sense the importance of what you were about to say even through one word. 
“do you… do you think i could join you on tour a bit earlier than planned? i just don’t know if i can stay in this house for any longer, it’s just–”
“of course.” 
her instant, firm reply cut off your rambling and you sighed in relief, “thank you–”
“don’t thank me, darling. i just want you to feel safe.” she paused, thinking, “you could join us on the minnesota dates, if you want. there’s two days there, so it gives you more time to get here. i can book you a flight–” 
you smiled at her considerate words, the way she was taking everything into account. oh, how you loved her. “that sounds perfect. and don’t book first class this time, jesus. i can put up with an economy flight, i’m used to them. plus,  i get to see you at the end of it.” 
she smiled warmly, “mm, you do. and then i’m wrapping you up in a massive hug and never letting you go, because i love you.” 
you giggled softly at her words, “i think i’m looking forward to seeing maggie more, actually.” 
billie rolled her eyes fondly, her mother just adored you. “i don’t blame you.” 
the two of you talked into the night, and were still on the call when you woke up. you weren’t aware that you’d fallen asleep, and you probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for her soothing voice.
it was now the early hours of the morning, soft sunlight streaming through the curtains you’d forgotten to shut. the house had gone silent by now, your parents finally asleep, and you felt a tiny bit of peace just laying there in the silence. you looked at the screen for a moment, simply admiring her pretty sleeping face, the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly and her chest rose and fell with each breath. this time in a few days, you’d be in her arms again. 
you let out a soft sigh. the country may be falling apart by the seams, but you had billie. you had her, so you’d be okay. 
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genshinology · 2 years ago
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AN INFLUENTIAL MAN’S COMPANION (OR IS IT MORE?!)
(alternatively, how they are dropping hints left and right that you are more than just a friend.)
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— PAIRINGS ; alhaitham, ayato & childe x gn!reader (separate)
— CONTENT ; oblivious!reader, may contain a spoiler from sumeru's story quest on alhaitham's, mentions of childe's real name (ajax), reader is addressed as “little bug” in childe's (please, it's just a poorly written joke, i swear).
— NOTES ; don't care what everyone says but a man that has the power and money is definitely a man that i want. wrote this on a whim so 'm sorry for the horrible writing and the lack of details in this.
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☆ — ALHAITHAM
"why are you so dense?" alhaitham's question caught you off guard, considering the fact that you were so immersed with yet another history book of teyvat in the akademiya's house of daena.
his sudden question made you unknowingly gazed at him with annoyance (it wasn't your fault though, not when he actually interrupted your reading of the fourth chapter), and you quickly bookmarked the page you had last read before actually paying full attention to the scribe across you.
"dense is not really a word to describe me. i think i catch on things around me quite fast," you huffed out, exaggeratedly bumping your forehead onto the desk. a silent thud was heard afterwards, not necessarily loud enough for other people to hear, but alhaitham definitely caught on the hint you mentally saying that you were bored and the fact that he took away the only form of your entertainment by taking away the thick book from you made you squinted your eyes at him.
your eyes prying at his action. he was an unpredictable man, so you couldn't question what he did. especially when the question of, "do you know what is the context of this book?" suddenly came out from his mouth.
"uhm.. yes?" you stopped thinking too deep when alhaitham's gaze zeroed straight into you, signalling that you should be answering his question more precisely. "a book about teyvat; the seven nations, the archon war, the history, the irminsul, the heavenly principles, the fatui, the abyss—
"ah yes, sounds like classified information, isn't it?" alhaitham cut you off, showing the old cover page with a knowing look that you couldn't really decipher. "you do realise that this book comes from the restricted repository room?" alhaitham was questioning you, slightly smiled when he saw how the gears in your brains were slowly turning and you finally understood what he was trying to point out.
"wait. you are right. it makes sense now, how incomplete certain details are since the book itself covers forbidden knowledge.." you put your right palm underneath your jaw, still in disbelief at the fact that the book in his hold was a restricted material for general use to the scholars and the public.
"not really the brightest mind," he paused. "that's why i said you are, indeed, a slow-witted person," he shook his head, his own work was slowly forgotten amidst the conversation he accidentally forced you into.
"that is just saying 'stupid' in a more formal manner. i am truly offended," you sighed, noting the way alhaitham seemed taken aback at the last sentence you gave to him.
alhaitham could only put down the book in front of you. "..and i am offended as well. you don't even think that i am using my authority to give you access to this one book you have been super interested in these days, haven't you?"
he turned away after seconds of eye contact, especially when your eyes widened and you felt how your cheeks were hurting due to the shock. "you.. did this for me? not exactly the first thing i would think of, especially if it's from the scribe of the akademiya."
you smiled, way too wide and alhaitham thought he was holding his breath for a moment. "thank you, you're so kind."
'kind' wasn't what he really expected you to say, specifically when he, himself, wasn't filled with kindness and tenderness alike. the you that he knew would be instantly flustered if you ever knew the true meaning of his intention when he first directed you with those questions.
he could only laughed heartlessly at your statement, thinking that you must have never received this much attention from someone, or that you really treated him as a true friend.
"i do not do this for some mere scholars, just so you know that you are exceptional."
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☆ — AYATO
"my lord," you bowed down, giving ayato the respectable approach that he deserved. "is there something you would like me to help?"
ayato was a diligent and a busy man, that was the first thing you had noticed when he first took you right under his wing. his smile specifically was something you swore would be your death one day, he was too charming for your own good.
"come here," his bright face made you ten times more nervous than ever. "also, please, drop the formalities. we are hidden from the public view."
the last sentence was way too intimate, but you decided that it must have been his figure of speech.
"yes, my lord—i mean, ayato," you slightly cringed at the way his name rolled off your tongue not-so-eloquently. something about calling him by his name, even without his family name, felt super uncivil to you.
he had done so much for you, so to hear his request of doing what you had been accustomed to was hard.
so you could only stumble forward awkwardly, hands clasping together to stop yourself from shaking a little bit too much. why did he always bring out the nervousness within you in private? did he really had these effects?
"here, sit down," ayato's calligraphy pen halted its movement, and it didn't help to calm you down when he patted the sit beside his chair.
"i'm sorry, my lord," the title accidentally slipped away nonetheless, and you decided to ignore the look in his eyes—as if he was hurting by the fact that you didn't address his name, but he possibly couldn't be that childish, it was the commissioner after all—as he quickly regained his composure. "you need my help to assort these paperworks?"
"it is fine, y/n," oh, the fact that he didn't address your first name made you knew he did feel slightly dejected.
you quickly made up your action by swiftly gliding onto the chair he already pulled out underneath his study. for a moment, you were stunned at the act of a gentleman he usually did to you. he was so kind, and you knew that you were super lucky to have him as your employer.
"i don't want you to do anything today. you can rest up until tomorrow," he said, slightly rummaging some precious items he kept in the drawer. you knew those items in there were far more important to him, especially when it also had his late father's will that was neatly preserved in the sakura-scented letter he and ayaka made a long time ago. it was honestly a cute activity for them now that you reminisced the memory.
"is there any occasion? or you will be away?" you asked him, and you could see his eyes lightened up at the way his hand reached out to yours, and you were left baffled.
his hand was warm, that was the first thing you noted. besides when you felt something smooth in your palm, you questioned the foreign thing in your hand.
it was a necklace, with a lighter hue of blue as its pendant. your intrusive thought won you over as you saw how the pendant resembled ayato's hydro vision to an extent. it was ethereal, at least in your eyes.
by the feel of it, you already knew this necklace's worth had already exceeded your wage.
"ayato?"
"it is for you. i was buying one for ayaka when i was reminded of you, y/n," he warmly explained, his sincere eyes were too much for you as you avoided his eye contact.
your beating heart felt dangerous as ever. his hands were still engulfing yours, as if to keep you from shying away.
"take it. it would mean a lot to me."
"thank you, sir-ayato," you corrected yourself, and ayato thought it was adorable of you to stutter around him.
his heart was content when you thanked him over and over again.
if giving the necklace was a metaphor to his love letter, then he would be overjoyed when he saw you roaming around his estate with the necklace on you the next day.
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☆ — CHILDE
"today's a really nice day," childe sighed happily, as he picked you up from the ground, and you repeatedly punched his back, flailing in his arms to put you down.
"ajax!" you gasped, who wouldn't be in shock, when you were literally caught off guard by his attack and then your feet weren't touching the snowy path anymore. "put me down."
"ehem, manners, please," he faked a cough.
you could only kick around, although none of your actions would actually affect him physically. "i am almost going to swear at you, you know?"
"put me down, please," you tried to whisper into his ear, so that he would feel ticklish by the air that escaped from you.
"gross," he commented, and before you knew it, he already let you go from his somewhat soothing hold onto your body. "need to disinfect my ear after this."
you slapped his arm after hearing his bad joke, roughly enough to get his focus onto you. "let me do it with the bug spray i have at home. i hope it'll cleanse your whole soul too."
"touché," childe cracked a smile at hearing you almost choked on your breath. "aren't you my little bug?"
"don't you have a cuter nickname for me? seriously, bug? out of all lovelier things on this world?" at this point, you had already clinging onto childe's side, hyper aware at some people who had been watching the playful fight between you two for some time now.
childe noticed the way you practically glued to him, your hand fisting the sweater he wore, and childe could only thought that your ministration would only bring a misunderstanding, especially that one which people always commented on when they saw both of you.
"look at you two."
childe could only smile at the old lady that passed by him. "couple fights are normal, until the old days. i hope you're having a great time," the old lady patted your back, and when you were about to clear the misunderstanding he had always loved, the old lady left.
"w-what?" you turned to childe whom somehow looked at you fondly, and you could only voiced out your opinion on the cold day. "that old lady is not making any sense."
"—and you, ajax," you continued when you caught childe slacking from paying his full focus attentively to you, as he only shrugged his shoulder. "...are you really going to leave again?"
"hm?" he hummed, and thought to himself that you were so adorable in his spare sweater, fighting against the chilly wind and hesitating to actually say that you would miss him if he went to liyue for his work again.
"of course. it is my duty for the tsaritsa, and no, you won't be going to join me this time. have you forgotten when you almost got hit by the fatui because they were belittling you?" childe quickly cut you off when he saw how your lips twitching at his words, knowing too well that you would suggest the idea of venturing to liyue with him. the last time he accepted your idea, he almost blamed himself fully if one of his subordinates hurt you. he could only thank the archons that nothing too severe happened on you.
"b-but—
"and, our date for today went exceptionally well, wasn't it? you won't miss me like you have always did before," he winked, and you almost threw your fist at his face if you could. "i am going there for a week. i'll be back before you know it."
"right. let's stop now before your teasing goes too far ahead of yourself," you rolled your eyes, and only did you notice that you were still holding him dearly.
you quickly pulled your hand, and childe swore he had already missed the way you stayed close by his side. he was definitely smitten, he knew it.
"thank me later for wasting my money on you," childe laughed at the way you tried to run away from his grasp.
if he could, he would voice out loud that he really didn't care about his money, as long as you were happy with him, and it frustrated him a little bit that you really thanked him for that when all he wanted to say was that he loved you too.
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princesscait26 · 7 months ago
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An Unlikely Friendship: 2
Summary: The two rivals wives are caught (I’m really bad at summaries)
Alastor x reader, Vox x unnamed wife, Vox’s wife x reader Platonic!
Part 1
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At the Hazbin Hotel, Y/n sat at her vanity, meticulously getting ready for the day. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the soft glow of the vanity bulbs. She was applying her lipstick when she noticed a familiar shadow in the mirror's reflection. Without turning, she spoke with a slight smile curving her now red lips, “I know you’re here.”
The shadow shifted, and in its place stood the Radio Demon himself. Alastor’s crimson eyes and broad smile fixed on his wife with a blend of curiosity and suspicion. “Where are you going today, my darling? It’s still only the morning,” he inquired, his tone deceptively casual.
Alastor was known throughout Hell for his malevolence, but in the presence of his wife, he was softened, almost vulnerable. Her absence left him feeling incomplete, a sensation he loathed.
Y/n turned, meeting his intense gaze with practiced ease. Avoiding his question, she picked up her purse and leaned in to plant a light kiss on his cheek. “I’m going out. I’ll be back before you know it. Don’t forget you have a meeting with Charlie today, dear!”
Before Alastor could react, she slipped past him, the reminder of his meeting momentarily distracting him. She made her way to the door, her heart pounding as she sensed his gaze burning into her back.
The moment the door clicked shut, Alastor’s smile twitched, replaced by a look of steely determination. His possessiveness gnawed at him. Where was his wife off to, and what was she doing? His mind raced with possibilities, none of which he liked.
He could not simply let it go. Summoning his shadow, he issued a silent command. "Follow her. Report back to me."
As Y/n exited the hotel and stepped into the bustling streets of Hell, she felt a chill, a whisper of unease that she couldn't quite shake. She knew Alastor's nature all too well, knew he wouldn’t take her abrupt departure lightly. Yet, she couldn’t let him control every aspect of her life.
Back at the hotel, Alastor paced his room, the meeting with Charlie all but forgotten. His thoughts were consumed by his wife’s mysterious outings. Though he trusted her, his darker instincts drove him to ensure her safety and loyalty.
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Y/n was blissfully unaware of Alastor's shadow trailing her as she made her way to the café. Believing she had successfully slipped away, she pushed open the door and was immediately enveloped by the comforting aroma of coffee and pastries. The gentle hum of conversation filled the air.
“Y/n!” a familiar voice called out. She turned to see Vox's wife, waving enthusiastically from a corner table. Y/n smiled and waved back, weaving her way through the tables to join her friend.
"I ordered your usual," she said with a warm smile as Y/n sat down. "Late again, I see. Did Alastor give you a hard time leaving?" She laughed, the sound bright and infectious.
Y/n giggled, sharing in the inside joke that both women held—how their husbands never made it easy for them to leave. "You know him too well," she replied with a chuckle. "It’s like trying to escape a shadow."
Vox’s wife’s eyes twinkled. "Well, we manage. It’s nice having these moments to ourselves."
Y/n sighed contentedly, her expression softening. "I enjoy your company so much. It’s rare to find someone who truly understands. You’re a great friend."
"You're too sweet," Vox’s wife replied, her smile widening. "If only our husbands knew how much they actually had in common."
The two women laughed, their voices mingling with the ambient sounds of the café. They reveled in their shared moments, finding solace and camaraderie in each other's presence.
Unbeknownst to them, Alastor's shadow had witnessed the entire encounter. It slipped away, returning swiftly to its master. Alastor listened intently to the shadow's report, his expression shifting from curiosity to shock, then to anger. How dare his wife meet with Vox’s wife, of all people!
On the other side of the city, Vox had grown suspicious as well and decided to follow his wife. When he arrived at the café, he was surprised and annoyed to see Alastor approaching from the opposite direction. Their eyes locked, and both men bristled at the sight of the other.
"What are you doing here?" Vox demanded, his voice low and dangerous.
Alastor sneered. "I might ask you the same thing. I have every right to be here."
"As do I," Vox retorted, stepping closer. "However, it seems we have a more pressing matter at hand."
Their attention turned toward the café’s interior, where Y/n and Vox’s wife were laughing and chatting, oblivious to the storm brewing outside.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Alastor's tone is dripping with amusement, but his eyes betray a flicker of something darker. He stands at the entrance, his silhouette casting an imposing shadow over their table. Next to him, Vox's eyes blaze with barely contained rage, his screen flickering.
The café falls silent, the patrons' eyes darting between the two imposing figures and the women. Y/n's heart skips a beat as she locks eyes with Alastor, his usually warm gaze to her now cold and penetrating.
"Alastor," Y/n starts, attempting to keep her voice steady, "This isn't what it looks like."
Vox's wife stands up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Vox, I—"
But Vox cuts her off, his voice low and seething. "You think I wouldn't find out? That you could hide this from me?" His words hang heavily in the air, his fists clenching at his sides.
Alastor steps closer, his smile never wavering but his eyes darkening. "My dear, I am not so easily deceived. And to think, you two have been meeting behind our backs. It seems our rivalry has taken a rather... unexpected turn."
Y/n can see the hurt beneath Alastor's facade. Despite his charm and confidence, there is a sting of betrayal in his eyes. She takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Alastor, we just wanted a break from the constant fighting. It was never meant to hurt you two. To be with someone who understands."
Vox's wife nods in agreement, her eyes pleading with her husband. "Vox, please understand. We needed to escape the endless cycle of your battles. We needed each other."
But Vox, his pride wounded, steps forward towards the two women, his voice cold. "You think I care about your excuses? This betrayal is unacceptable. You think sneaking behind our backs was a good solution" He glares at Alastor, as if blaming him for this newfound alliance between their wives.
Alastor, ever the performer, turns his attention back to Y/n, putting a hand up stopping Vox from getting closer to Y/n. His smile returning but now tinged with bitterness. "It seems we have more in common than we thought, Vox. Betrayed by those closest to us."
Vox scoffs, his gaze never leaving his wife. "Don't lump me in with you, Alastor. This changes nothing between us. If anything, it intensifies our rivalry."
Y/n steps forward, her voice firm. "Enough. Both of you. This isn't about your rivalry. It's about us, your wives, who have had enough of your childish antics. We wanted peace, but it seems that's too much to ask for."
Vox's wife joins her, her voice soft but determined. "We love you both, but we can't keep living like this. It’s exhausting. All of your time goes to your fight with him, Vox. Something has to change."
The tension in the café is palpable, the silence deafening as Alastor and Vox process their wives' words. Finally, Alastor speaks, his voice softer but still edged with frustration. "Perhaps we do need to reassess our priorities."
Vox, his anger simmering down to a low boil, nods in agreement. "For once, I agree with Alastor. This isn't over, but maybe it's a wake-up call."
Alastor's eyes flicked to Vox, surprise flickering across his face. "You're suggesting we... call a truce?"
"Temporary," Vox clarified, his tone grudging. "For the sake of our marriages."
Alastor considered this, then nodded slowly. "Agreed. Temporary."
Relief washed over Y/n and Vox’s wife as the tension in the air finally began to ease. The initial shock and anger on Alastor and Vox's faces had subsided into something more manageable, though still simmering beneath the surface.
Alastor, ever the gentleman, extended a hand to Y/n. “Come, my dear,” he said softly, though his eyes still held a hint of possessiveness. “Let’s return home. We have much to discuss.”
Y/n took his hand, squeezing it gently. “Of course, darling,” she replied, casting a reassuring smile over her shoulder at Vox’s wife.
Vox, meanwhile, wrapped a protective arm around his wife’s shoulders. “We’re leaving,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “We need to talk as well.”
She nodded, leaning into him slightly. “Alright, Vox,” she murmured, her eyes meeting Y/n’s with a mixture of amusement and solidarity.
As the two couples moved in opposite directions, the two women turned back to each other, sharing a silent understanding. Their eyes met, and both broke into large, conspiratorial smiles. They waved goodbye, their hands lingering in the air as long as they could see each other.
“Until next time,” Y/n mouthed, her smile warm and genuine.
“Definitely,” she mouthed back, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
The café doors closed behind them, separating the two women physically but not in spirit. As Alastor and Vox led their wives away, the men’s grips firm yet gentle, the women’s thoughts lingered on their cherished friendship, silently vowing that this unexpected encounter wouldn’t be their last.
In the bustling streets of Hell, amidst the chaos and constant noise, two friendships stood resilient, bound by shared experiences and a mutual understanding of the complicated men they loved. For now, at least, the truce was a step toward peace—a fragile, tentative step, but a step nonetheless.
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Taglist
@that-dumb-bitch
@alastorthirsty
@generalthirsty
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ldysmfrst · 4 months ago
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Incomplete (1) - A Pull to Where?
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Paring: Ateez OT8 x Plus-sized FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 1 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 3,376  
Word count for Story: 3,376  
Genre: Idol Soulmate AU
Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This story will contain a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter does not really contain anything to warn about. (let me know if I am wrong)
Story Summary: Ateez are soulmates who earned their way to Fame once they found each other. What happens when a new pull comes during their Towards The Light World Tour? Does 8 really make 1?
INCOMPLETE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST
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“I can’t believe it! We are all here for the LA concert! This will be the first time for us. I am so proud of everything and love you all,” exclaimed Hongjoong. Looking around BMO stadium quickly before the VIP ticket holders came in, he could not believe they finally made it after six years. 
“All thanks to our wonderful Captain,” Seonghwa says as he back-hugs his shortest soulmate. “Did you see the lines are already starting to fill with our Atiny? Are you sure we brought enough Merch for all of them?”
“Don’t worry about that, Hwa. I am sure our management brought what they could. Remember, we have to split it between two shows. Are you sure you are up for this? You haven't taken the time to lament your grandfather’s passing. I am sure Atiny will understand if you cannot make it through the show,” Yeosang comments with a concerned look.
Smiling softly, Seonghwa replies, “Atiny are my light in my darkest times. Right now, performing for them… I feel like I am performing to keep my own light shining inside. I couldn’t do this without them, and want to perform best for this tour to honor my late grandfather.”
“Hwa, he is so proud of you. I can tell,” Hongjoong says, turning his head to kiss Seonghwa on the cheek.
One of the stagehands tells the three soulmates, “You have one hour to get ready for sound check.” 
“Let's head backstage and get ready to charm our Atiny,” Yeosang remarks as he pushes Seonghwa and Hongjoong towards the back. 
As the three missing soulmates make it behind the stage, Seonghwa feels his chest tighten. Dropping his hug on Hongjoong, Seonghwa makes his way to the side, where he can glimpse the lawn where the queue is set up for the merchandise and the standard entry. His eyes search the crowd for something. 
Maybe someone familiar or someone to stand out. 
Seonghwa was the most sensitive of all his soulmates, which is why he was known to Atiny as Momhwa. He always cared for the children (San, Wooyoung, Johngo, Yeosang, Mingi, and Yunho) while the Captain was off doing captain-like things. He was also the one to beg for alone time but then worried 24/7 that the rest of his soulmates were being taken good care of when they weren’t in his eyesight. 
Recently, the kids have grown up, which has allowed Hongjoong and Seonghwa to focus on other things. During this time, Seonghwa noticed that he felt like something was missing, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Looking over the crowds, it felt like something was nearby, but what could it be?
“Hwa-hyung, are you okay? Did you see someone out there?” asked San after noticing the intense look on Seonghwa’s face as he peeked out the gap in the stands. 
Rubbing his chest, Hwa replied, “Yeah… I think so. It just gotta be nerves. Still get them, ya know?” San nodded with a smile. “Being back in LA means so much to Joong-ah, and I don’t want to mess it up.” 
Shrugging off the tightness, Seonghwa went to his chair to prepare for sound check. He took his seat between Mingi and Yunho, who are always inseparable; their idle chatter overtook Hwas's thoughts as they got closer to showtime.
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“Good job on the sound check, boys! BE:FIRST is ready to go on, and the rest of the gates will open in five,” called another stagehand as they rushed by.
“Mingi-ah, how is your back? You seemed like you were limping a little,” asked Yunho.
“It’s my chest that feels like… I don’t know, like a burning but not a painful burn,” Mingi answered, rubbing his chest. 
“You too?” San and Seonghwa asked at the same time. The three of them looked at each other with wide eyes. Grabbing the other two, Seonghwa pulled them closer to the rest of the group.
“Hey guys, listen to this. San, tell us what you feel,” ordered Hwa.
“Umm… well, it is like a strap around my chest, and it’s pulling me out of the stadium,” San told the group, “Why, hyung?”
“Mingi?” prompted Hwa.
“Yeah, that’s pretty accurate,” he agreed. Looking over his shoulder at BE:FIRST taking the stage, he rubbed his chest harder. "Whatever it is, it just kicked up a notch, but now it's pulling…”
“Toward the stage, right?” Seonghwa urgently says. “Like it’s pulling us to the other side of the stadium?”
San and Mingi nod in agreement. Seonghwa, however, watches Hongjoong’s confused reaction to this information. 
“Hey guys! First set of costumes now, please!” urges the wardrobe noona. Reluctantly to end the conversation, the members get dressed and head to their positions to start the first of two LA Shows. 
The feeling of pulling intensifies as they take the stage, pulling around the stadium and then towards the crowd. The three who feel this intensity seemingly find themselves consistently on the same side of the stage. So often, when they return for their first intermission, the Captain pulls them aside.
“What is going on with the three of you?” Hongjoong asks urgently. “San, you have to pull it together. You are up next. Focus on all of our Atiny, not just the one side. Remember, the performance for our Atiny comes first. We wouldn’t be here without them. Please don’t make the others feel left out.”
“Sorry, Captain. I will do better. I better hurry and change,” San pouts as he runs toward Wooyoung, who also looks concerned. 
“You two, figure out what is going on. I know you both are sensitive to energies and such. If it is something bad, we need to warn security. Even though we are in Korea, it doesn’t mean they don’t have crazed fans, too,” warns Hongjoong.
“You got it, Hyung. Hwa-hyung and I will try to figure it out, but the performance won’t suffer,” Mingi says confidently. Seonghwa nods in agreement as they change costumes and proceed with part 2 of the concert. 
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“Seonghwa, San, Mingi, and Hongjoong, what in the hell is going on with you?” exclaims their manager. “Green room. NOW. All eight of you.”
Thankfully, this is a longer intermission as the eight follow their manager’s orders. Pilling into the room, they notice their following change of costumes is laid out and ready for them. Without hesitation or shyness, the soulmates start to change as the manager comes in, “Talk.”
“Manager-nim, we are trying our hardest, but there is something about that side of the venue that is pulling the three of us,” Seonghwa says, pulling up his pants. “I think there is either someone important over there, either someone we already know or someone we need to know.”
“Only the three of you feel this way?” asks the manager, looking around at the rest of the group. 
The rest of the group nods or voices their agreement as they change. He continues, “If that is the case, then you three must stick together, and the rest of you will entertain the rest of Atiny. See if you can figure out what section this “important person” is in.”
“Yes, manager-nim. Thank you,” San bows with a huge smile. Even though Seonghwa and Mingi were the more sensitive ones, San was the one who could hone in on the source the best of them all. He could technically leave the stage and run around with the manager's permission. 
San glanced at their Captain and Seonghwa with a questioning smile, to which both nodded, and San took off looking for his personal security guard. None of the security guards liked it when the boys would go around Atiny, but they got paid extra, so no complaints were heard. Once they discussed San's route, during which song(s), it was time to get in place. 
Taking a deep breath, San focuses on the pull and latches on. It was time to figure out who or what was causing them such a feeling.
This member of the Demon line was on a hunt. 
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“Damn it!” San yelled, throwing his hat against the make-up vanity. 
Wooyoung ran up behind him, pulling the fuming soulmate into his arms. “Sannie, it’s okay. Maybe they left early? Do you still feel them?”
“Yes. Yes, I do, but because of the send-off, we cannot go out there and find out what is happening,” San whined into Wooyoung’s neck as he hugged the slightly younger soulmate. “I know what section the pull is centered on, but what 50-100 seats are in that section alone?”
“Maybe they will be at the send-off or back tomorrow night?” offered Wooyoung.
“Hey, San-ah, thank you for trying,” Seonghwa says, entering the room with the rest of the group. “We had a sold-out stadium, and I am proud of you for getting the section down. We can talk to the arena or Ticketmaster to see if they can share any information with us.”
“You know that is all private information, Hwa-hyung,” chides Jongho. “They can’t give out that information. It probably isn’t anything big. If it was something or someone important, they would have reached out to KQ or RCA Records by now or will soon. Don’t let it bother you much longer.”
“You three need to make sure to get rest for tomorrow, please,” asks Yunho.
San, Hwa, and Mingi sigh at the idea that they can’t find any more information right now. San swears that he almost had it. Mingi knows that it is more important than the others believe. Seonghwa thinks he has finally found what is missing.
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Today couldn’t have started any worse! 
First, you were so excited that you didn’t get a proper night's rest because you couldn’t fall asleep, and then you kept waking up, hoping not to sleep through your alarms. 
Second, your car breaks down and won't be ready til Monday, but luckily, it is the dealership's fault, so they give you a rental car. 
Third, your make-up artist, who you paid extra for, is sick, so you get the newbie who can’t do a dramatic eye to save anyone's life.
When you meet up with friends who had pushed you to listen to the K-pop band known as Ateez, things finally turn around. You hadn’t seen the two of them in a couple of years, but because of your mutual delulu (not really) ((well kind of)) love of the eight-membered band coming to Los Angles for their World Tour, you finally got to spend time together pining over some of the hottest men in the world. 
You spent the better part of the first half of 2024 sharing shorts, reels, Facebook posts, and YouTube videos back and forth. Because of those interactions, you realize you don’t have a bias.
True, you did lean towards Seonghwa and San, but then again, you always liked eyes like theirs or Hwa’s unisexual vibes, and even San's boyfriend code made you smile to yourself when he wandered into your daydreams. 
With that in mind, your friends got you a “Baby Atiny Bias package,” which included a photo facecard of San in a cute fuzzy kitty-looking pouch, a SANdeoki mini doll, and a Lightiny with Ateez logo keychain. You shocked them with your excitement to finally have something representing that you were and will always be an Atiny! 
After changing into concert-attending clothes and correcting the failed makeup job, the three of you decided to make your way to the Pop-Up, hoping to get some merch before the concert. This was your first pop-up, and it was at a place called Hello82! By the time you arrived, hardly anything was left, and your friends said you would have better picks at the arena. 
After grabbing some extremely needed coffee due to damn insomnia and the weird dreams of the eight men fawning over you, then some lunch, it was time to head to BMO stadium.
LA traffic sucked on a typical day; add in a K-pop concert, and the Dodgers playing just made it a bajillion times worse. However, parking was a breeze, which was surprising, to say the least. 
That’s when the good times came to a standstill. 
Literally. 
Over three hours of standing in the sun before you finally made it to the front of the merch line, they were sold out of everything you originally wanted besides the Seonghwa picket. So you settled on a sleeveless shirt and the picket.
You decided that you would have to get the Hwa one because you already had all the San stan stuff (s-cubed, you giggled to yourself), and you didn't save up enough to get all eight.
When the three of you needed clarification on which entryway was right, your friend asked a BMO employee, who guided you to the standard line. 
Well, they lied. 
After an hour of waiting in line to go to the standard entrance, you were informed that you actually had floor tickets that required you to enter the other end of the arena.
By this time, BE:FIRST had just taken to the stage, which pissed you off because you loved the new song they collaborated with Ateez on called Hush Hush, and you wanted to support them too. 
Finally making it into the arena, you are still walking to your seats as Ateez takes the stage in their white princely uniforms, making you want to melt on the spot. You weren't normally a lover of white, but you loved them in white. The demon-line looks like angels before their fall right now.
Luckily, the floor tickets came with someone to take you to your seats, so you could at least follow the worker while your eyes never left the stage as Crazy Form kicked off the show. 
Once in your seats, you never used them aside from the strange little intermission video thingies they did. You were standing, yelling, screaming, attempting to sing in Korean, and jumping up and down. You were amazed at the sold-out arena that they had. I'm so lucky to have a master ticket-grabber friend to get these seats.
Spinning around, you noticed another reason for the group to fall even harder: they had American Sign Language interpreters.
With how hard the base was in most of their songs, you knew they had to have a decent following from the Deaf community, and seeing them honor those Atinys almost made you want to cry. Your mom is hard of hearing, so you know ASL also, and your mom was a closet Atiny, but no one will ever know. 
They sang so many songs, and you knew all of them. EEEKK!!
Maybe you were a little obsessed with them over the last two years. But they were mixed in with others like Stray Kids, Astro, ZeroBaseOne, BigOcean, OmegaX, WaveV, and BTS. You had variety in K-pop and even started listening to J-pop and T-pop as well.
As for Western music, don’t ask about anything that happened or who was hot because you hadn’t a clue. Suddenly, the concertgoers around you start screaming their heads off, breaking you out of your inner discussion.
“Look, look! It’s San!” exclaimed your friend Kat while poking you in the side. Pointing over to the section next to you…
There
He
Was
San was there, like… right there, and he was walking this way while singing. 
OUCH
You grip your chest at the sudden tightness. Damn. You knew you would react if you ever got close to any of the K-pop idols you loved, but this was a bit extreme. You lived in LA County. You see actors all the time. It’s no biggy… so why?
Your eyes never left his form as he walked around the section you were in. He is so attentive to all of the Atiny that gain his attention, you notice. Being older than the 7/8s of the group and conscious of the age-haters out there, you sink back, letting the younger fans have their time.
Besides, you are a baby Atiny, and people like your friends Kat and Cindy have wanted to see them since they debuted. Plus, you also had a healthy understanding that they were just people who decided to share their talent with the world. That was another thing you learned living in LA for so long.
“Where did you go?” Cindy asked. “He was right here. You could have gotten some amazing pictures. I bet if you had shown him your SANdeoki, he would have given you at least a high-five.”
Standing back up, you looked around, “Cindy, I am not gonna take his time away from others that are bigger stans than I am. Maybe next time.”
“Yeah, sure, you just got nervous meeting one of your crushes,” Kat teased you. “If Seonghwa came down, you would have spontaneously combusted.”
“I think after the looks she gave Mingi, SanHwa now has competition for their spot as her bias,” Cindy laughed. 
“Oh, quite you two. You guys know that I have a hard time picking my favorites. I have an easier time picking ones that I would have a harder time meeting, like Jongho, Lee Know, or Seokjin. Those guys scare me with their seriousness.”
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As the eight members said their goodbyes, your chest got even tighter, and your eyes started to well up. Why does it feel like you are leaving a part of yourself behind?
My goodness.
You had heard of post-concert depression, but you thought that was a joke. You attended a N*SYNC concert as a little girl and even a Creed Concert in college, but you never cried when the show was over. 
That is when you heard the laughing. Looking up at your friends, they are trying their best not to bust a gut as they watch you lamenting over the end of the nearly three-and-a-half-hour show. Glaring at them playfully, you stood up to leave but noticed a group of fans sticking around in a section near the stage.
“What is that for?” you ask.
“Oh, they must have VIP with send-off included,” offers Kat.
“What is a send-off?”
“It’s when the bands come out and meet fans, sign some stuff, take pictures, blah blah blah as they leave the venue they are in,” she clarifies. “Those were sold out before I could get them. Actually, all the VIP stuff was gone in the blink of an eye.”
“Coachella totally boosted their American Atiny numbers,” commented Cindy.
“I almost went to Coachella. You know Bethany? She works with Coachella and a few other festivals around here. She offered me to join the team for the first weekend because they were short-staffed, but I couldn’t swing it,” you said as you headed up the stairs to exit. “I wish I had said yes because she got to meet them all. She says that San and Wooyoung are a total couple, and the Twin Towers are too.”
“Well, I am glad you didn’t go, or I wouldn’t have been able to have our first Ateez concert as a memory, plus YOUR first K-pop concert EVER!!!” screamed Kat!
“Well, now that all of BMO knows,” giggled Cindy.
Laughing along with them, you rub your chest, still feeling a tightness you swear is pulling you to the stage area.
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Ignoring the strange and slightly painful pull in your chest because you are not a delulu American sasaeng, you take a deep breath and focus on your photos.
“Holy Shit! I have over 700 photos and videos!”
“Yeah, and wasn’t she just mumbling about not being a sasaeng?” questions Cindy as you get to the car to go home. 
“Well, I have until the Stray Kids concert next year to go through them all and widdle it down to my favorites. That way, I can take 800 of Felix and Bang Chan,” you snark back. 
Buckling up your seat belt, you can’t help but keep your eyes on the BMO Stadium. Your chest gets tighter and tighter as you get farther away. Your mom has always mentioned following your instincts because they would know better than anything your mind will tell you.
So why are your instincts telling you that you left something important behind?
Next
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starbluekindo · 1 month ago
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work song
warning: victoria neuman x afab!reader, angst with a happy ending, blood, victoria using her powers unconsciously, reader is vicky's wife <3
a/n: i miss her so from now on this is real.
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THE DAYS since victoria’s death had been a blur. you followed the basic steps of your routine because there was no other choice. zoe needed you, and the world around you didn’t stop to mourn a dead vice president, let alone someone who had lost more than a title.
mornings were the hardest. the silence at home seemed louder now, filling every corner as a constant reminder of her absence. zoe, despite being a resilient child, felt it too. her bright eyes were dimmer, and she asked questions you didn’t know how to answer.
“is she in heaven?” zoe asked one night, her voice low as you tucked her into bed.
you hesitated. the truth was, you didn’t know how to console zoe because you couldn’t console yourself.
“she’s in a place where there’s no pain,” was all you managed to say, even though your voice sounded broken.
after zoe fell asleep, you went downstairs. the house felt different now. without victoria, it was as if the space had lost its identity. you looked at the desk where she used to work late into the night, the papers still piled up as if she would return at any moment to finish them.
but she wouldn’t return.
the weight of that seemed crushing. you sank onto the couch, holding a cup of tea that had gone cold. your eyes wandered to the watch you had given victoria, still resting in the small tray where she always left it when she came home. the metal seemed cold and distant now, a reminder of something you could no longer touch.
the days passed, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of incompleteness. people came to offer condolences, but their words felt empty, like echoes in an endless tunnel. they talked about how extraordinary victoria had been as a leader, a force to be reckoned with. but no one spoke about how she was at home — the way she gave that small side smile when she tried to hide her worries, how she always checked if zoe had done her homework, or how she held your hand at the dinner table when she thought no one was looking.
no one knew who she really was.
in the quietest nights, after zoe had gone to bed and you were left alone with your thoughts, you allowed the pain to overflow. you sat on the living room floor, staring at the shadows on the wall, wondering how the world could keep moving when yours had stopped.
and yet, something inside you resisted. it was what victoria would have done. she had always been stronger than you — more practical, more determined. you knew that if she could speak to you now, she would tell you to take care of zoe, to get up and move forward.
but in the moments when the pain felt unbearable, you whispered into the void, as if she could hear you:
“i’d give anything to have you back.”
and then you stayed there, waiting for the pain to lessen, even though you knew it would never completely go away.
THE DARKNESS felt infinite, but victoria was aware of every second. not in a human way, with clear thoughts or organized emotions, but in a primal, instinctive manner, as if her blood was screaming for something. something beyond death.
then came the pain.
it was a deep, visceral pull, as if the universe itself was dragging her back. the blood, which she had always controlled with almost surgical precision, seemed to have taken on a will of its own. she knew her powers, what she could do — explode heads, hear the subtle hum of people’s circulatory systems, even manipulate small flows within herself. but this? this defied everything she knew to be possible, defied the very order of nature.
it was grotesque. the blood, transformed into a thick, vibrant sludge, moved like tendrils within her body, wrapping around dead organs, dragging them back into place. collapsed lungs reinflated, her heart, once silent, began to beat again, the blood rearranging itself to form new connections where old ones had broken. the process seemed endless — ribs realigning with echoing cracks through the compacted earth.
victoria tried to scream, but there was no air yet. the sensation was suffocating, an unending cycle of pain and creation. for a moment, she thought it would be better if everything stopped, but then the image of zoe flashed through her mind like a spark. and then, you.
the blood responded to that, as if it shared her desire. the process accelerated, stitching muscles and connecting bones. finally, air entered her lungs with a rough, desperate sound. she gasped, coughing up dirt and clotted blood, her eyes opening with a dull glow.
everything was dark. she still felt the pressure of the earth around her, heavy and suffocating, but her body, now whole, responded.
with trembling fingers, she began clawing at the soil, each movement a monumental effort. the pain didn’t disappear; it just shifted, now a memory imprinted in her renewed flesh.
when she finally emerged, the faint moonlight felt blindingly bright. she blinked, trying to adjust her eyes, the smell of the night flooding her senses. and then she vomited, pulling chunks of her old organs from her throat with her own hands. the putrid smell made her dizzy.
victoria collapsed to her knees, her body trembling like a leaf in the wind. her mind was a whirlwind of confusion and fear, but one thing was clear. she closed her eyes, focusing on the sounds around her: the rustle of leaves, the distant hum of a streetlamp. and then, the sound she needed: your blood. you were nearby, faint but traceable. she could feel the rhythmic pulse flowing, like a familiar melody pulling her to the surface.
she needed to go home.
victoria started walking, her steps unsteady but determined. the hunger inside her roared, but something stronger guided her, something beyond physical need. she needed you. she needed her family.
when she reached the front door, it was as if the pain, confusion, and despair were replaced by relief.
you were on the couch, holding a now-cold cup of tea, staring out the window without really seeing the outside. the weight of victoria’s absence was unbearable. zoe was asleep upstairs, but you knew you wouldn’t find the same peace. there was no peace without her.
then, a faint knock at the door broke the silence.
your heart stopped for a moment before racing. you let the cup fall, forgetting the sound of breaking glass as you rushed to the entrance.
when you opened the door, victoria was there.
she looked like a specter. her skin was pale, her hair tangled and dirty with soil, her clothes torn. but it was her eyes that paralyzed you: confused, scared, but alive.
“victoria…” you whispered, unable to process what you were seeing.
she tried to speak, but her vocal cords failed, frustrating her. you noticed her distress, and her effort resulted in a raspy whisper:
“i... i came back.”
you pulled her inside before she could collapse, your hands holding her face, dirty and cold. her heartbeat thudded weakly under your fingers but was there.
“how?” you asked, tears already streaming down your face.
she shook her head, her eyes filling with tears too. “i don’t know... i just knew... i had to come back. for you. for zoe.”
her words were enough to shatter any doubts you might have had.
“you’re here,” you whispered.
victoria rested her forehead against yours, her shoulders trembling under your hands as everything finally began to make sense. she didn’t know how she had returned, but she knew why. it was for you and zoe. no force in the world, not even death, could keep her away from you.
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everlastingdreams · 20 days ago
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The Weeping Monk x Fem!Reader : Forged Of Fire Chapter 12
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Story Summary: Raised under the tiranny of your own family, and forced to steal to earn your keep, you struggle to survive. Born from a Fey mother, and a Manblood father who wanted only sons, you are forced to hide your Fey side. When you are ordered to steal from Father Carden by your half-brother, Cassian, your life spirals out of control and you find yourself at the mercy of the Weeping Monk. The life you knew changes drastically when Cassian betrays you in the cruelest of ways. A trade is made, a promise is broken, and a debt must be paid.
Chapter Title: A Fey Relic
Notes: *Slides 'Forced Marriage' into the warnings*
Warnings: Angst. Hurt. Trauma bonding. Intrafamily violence. Depression. Self-harm. Suicidal thoughts. Violence. Torture. Gore. Pining. Trauma. Self-Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Misogyny. PTSD. Spicy and smut parts. Slight redemption arc. Lima/Stockholm syndrom-ish. Childhood trauma.
Other warnings: Jealousy. Forced Marriage. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn Found Familly-ish. Comfort. Fluff. !SMUT and SPICE!
Word count of this fic: +250K
Chapter:  12/47
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The next morning, the Monk had barely set foot into the room before you fired your question.
“What did you have for me?”
He feigned to be oblivious and showed you the bowl in his hand. “Soup.”
“That’s not what I-…” you groaned, “you know what I meant.”
“Why so curious?” A careful smirk was plastered on his face as he set the bowl down on the bedside table.
“Do you see anything else here that can entertain me, besides those cobwebs over there?” you gestured to a corner of the ceiling.
He actually turned to look. You got up from the bed and closed in on him. He almost bumped into you with his arm when he turned around again.
“Were you lying to me last night?” you felt a pinch of disappointment at the thought.
He took note of the small distance between you now. “I was not.”
You tried to give him your most innocent sweet look you could manage, it had come in handy more than once when you were starving for food and had to rely on the kindness of others to offer you some scraps to eat.
He tried. He tried so hard to not to let that look get under his skin. But you were looking at him so hopeful and expecting…
The Monk brushed his hand over his mouth, dragging it down over his chin, then scratched the side of his neck somewhat nervously. “I left it in my quarter.”
“Oh.” Your eyes fixed themselves on the floor to hide the disappointment in them.
“It is a warm day. Do you feel strong enough for a walk to the stables?” he asked.
You didn’t care if your body would protest, you wanted to get away from those four walls for a while. “Yes!”
He blinked twice rapidly at the burst of enthusiasm. “We’ll pass by my quarter. But I must bind your wrists. Father still insists on it.”
With a small nod, you agreed to it. The Monk took you by the arm and steered you out of the room with him. It wasn’t long before he found a paladin who carried rope with him, he claimed the rope and used it to bind your wrists together in front of you. You did notice that the rope was not as tight as he maybe should have made it. He did as he had told and took you along to his quarter where he let you wait by the door whilst he grabbed something from the chest behind his bed. He came closer again and put it in your hands.
“I will try to find a quill as well.” he sounded a bit uncertain with what he must have seen as an ‘incomplete’ gift.
You stared down at the dark brown leather journal in your hands, one look inside of it told you that it was never used before. “A journal?”
He gestured to it a little. “Your mother had one. I saw this and… I just… I thought you would like to have one of your own.”
Now you stared at him and the effort he made to not let it show just how uncertain he felt. He began to ramble a little, the nerves were getting he best of him, “You could write or draw, or-”
You stopped him. “Thank you.”
Something akin of relief washed over his face, as if he had thought you would throw the journal at his head.
“Thank you.” you said again quieter. “For this.”
The Monk tilted his head respectfully, then took you by the arm again. He walked with you through the monastery in silence. There were some stares from paladins here and there, they must have know of the strange arrangement between you and him as well. You hated their stares. He walked with you to the stables, letting you take in some fresh air to replace the dusty one of the monastery. Once in the stables, you sat on a stack of hay whilst he used some straw to brush Goliath’s coat.
He spoke to you whilst he pampered the horse, “We were not meant to stay here for so long, any day now we should return to camp. This illness that has spread through the monastery has cost us precious time. Father is not pleased.”
Just as as you looked up from the journal in your lap, you heard him utter some very quiet praise to his horse, it was so incredibly disarming to see it happen. He treated the stallion with so much respect and care. He loved the loyal creature. How could a man be so caring, and yet so dangerous at the same time?
You collected your courage. “Lancelot?”
His head spun around so fast at the sound of his name.
You held the journal to your chest, forming a shield, “I’m sorry I have struck you.”
“For which time?” he asked.
You winced. “Both times.”
He looked away for a few seconds, looked back at you, then at the ground. “Why the apology?”
It was the truth you told him, “I feel like I should. You were right when you said I’m not like Cassian or my father. I don’t ever want to become like them.”
“You won’t.” He dropped the remainder of the straw to the ground and came closer to you. “I cannot say that I did not push you to the point where you lashed out at me.”
“Still…” You shook your head.
He stopped right beside you. “I hold no grudge against you for it. If that is what concerns you?”
To hear him say that… it gave an insight into his character. He had taken the violence and just accepted it… much like you had once done.
You tried to form an understanding. “You should. No one should have to accept being hurt by someone.”
The only thing he did in response was give a slow nod. Then he reached out and touched the bruise near your eye. “It is healing well. How is the rest of them?”
You were staring at the way he gingerly touched the knuckles of his fingers to your skin.
“I… I don’t know…“ Good gracious… why did your voice have to tremble? You turned your head away and down a little.
He understood the signal given and withdrew his hand. “The Sister tried to tend to them with the ointment. She brought some fresh ointment as well for you. If more is needed you have but to ask.”
“Does Father Carden just allow women into the monastery now?” you asked curiously.
“No. An exception was made only for you.” He cleared his throat.
Wait… “But then how did the Sister help me?”
The Monk stepped away from you, but beckoned for you to follow. “I went against Father’s wishes and let the Sister into the monastery.”
You winced a little at the risk he had taken to defy the priest. “Does he know?”
“Yes.” was his short answer.
You noticed how evasive he was getting. “Was he angry?”
“Yes.” he quietly answered. “But he knew why it was necessary. Father will be far more furious if he loses someone as rare as you.”
These risks… going against the man he had always so loyally served… he was treading on dangerous ice. One wrong step and it would all shatter under his feet, no matter how careful he moved.
Some concern slipped from your mouth. “You’re taking a lot of risks. You should be more careful. I don’t think Father Carden would hold back on punishing you for disobedience.”
The Monk walked with you out of the stables and back to the monastery. “I am aware.”
That piqued your interest, there was something in the way he had said it. “How do they punish those of the Church?”
He went very quiet right away. You worried you had made a mistake by asking it. It was as if you had asked something too personal.
It took until you were nearly at the door before he gave his answer. “We are taught to cleanse ourselves with the scourge when we feel the influence of sin and evil. But there are other ways. Some were branded by Brother Salt, others are cleansed in a bath of holy water and risked to be drowned.”
The dark truth crept up on you. “Do you… use the scourge on yourself?”
He opened the door and let you walk inside first, his answer was a fast and quiet “Yes.”
How many scars was that attire hiding from the world?
“You harm yourself?” you were shocked.
“Quiet.” he said, aware of the curious eyes and ears aimed at him now.
You found yourself looking at him, at those layers and layers of fabric all meant to protect him from injuries caused by others, whilst they could never protect him from the ones he caused himself.
Even he felt the uncomfortable atmosphere rise between you as he walked you back to the room. He frowned at how the door was slightly open.
Not how he had left it… it had been fully closed.
The Monk let you into the room first, he followed and closed the door behind him. You wanted to look into the journal again, but he came closer to remove the ropes from your wrists first.
“You should inspect your bruises. Put some ointment on them daily, it is what the Sister did.” he said while neatly folding the ropes.
“There’s no mirror…” you put your journal down on the bed and pouted a little as you looked around to find another helpful thing instead of a mirror. The only thing that could help you with it was the other person present. “Could you look?”
He looked at you as if you had asked him to turn water into wine.
You understood his reaction, it wasn’t nice for you either to ask, but you needed a little help. “How can I put ointment on them if I can’t even see them?”
The Monk’s cheeks had tinted somewhat at the request, but he accepted the task like he would any other if they were given to him by those outranking him.
After he gave a shallow nod, you took off your jacket and put it on the bed. “Just my back, alright? I’ll spare you from the rest.” The small jest was meant to lighten the situation. “You’ve seen my back before.”
He cleared his throat again and said not a word as you turned your back to him and began to bundle up the fabric of the shirt until it exposed half of your back. You waited for him to tell you what the condition of the bruises were, and waited…
“Well?…” you asked when he made not a sound.
The sound of the floorboards creaking as he stepped closer made you ridiculously nervous all of a sudden.
The tips of his fingers hoovered just above the nearly healed bruise in the middle of your back.
He finally spoke, “They are healing.”
“Could you… uhm…” You couldn’t possibly ask him…
He gave an inquisitive hum.
You reached an arm around and tried to point at a bruise on your back that still felt quite sore. “I can’t reach…”
Surely he would understand what you were trying to ask of him.
“You need my help?” He needed to hear you say it before he would try to cross that line.
It hurt a little of your pride to admit it out loud. “Yes. Just some ointment there… if you could?”
The Monk walked past you to take the ointment from the bedside table, he never met your eyes and you were grateful for that. The cold ointment forced a quiet gasp from you and you barely stopped yourself from flinching away from it.
“Painful?” he asked.
“Just cold.” you put his mind at ease.
The warmth of his fingers were a big contrast to the cold of the ointment as he smeared it into your skin tentatively. You tried to ignore the whispers of the Hidden and how content they sounded, if you had been alone you would have told them to shut it. The Monk moved his hand away from you once he was done, he put the remainder of the ointment on his fingers on the top of his left hand to get it off of them.
You dropped your shirt down over your back again, “Thank you.”
“Your soup…” he noticed it abandoned on the bedside table as well.
Oh… there was no possibility that it was still warm.
“I’ll still drink it. It’s fine.” you brushed it off.
The situation had made him quite eager to leave the room. “I shall leave you to your meal then. I have matters to attend to.”
You nodded in understanding and the Monk left the room before you could make another request like the one you had made, it even made you hold back a small laugh. You turned around, taking in the room. The soup that had gone cold, the new journal on the bed. A dreadful feeling crept up on you, there was only your journal on the bed. You hurried over to the bed and looked under the pillow. Nothing. Under the blanket? Nothing. Under the bed? Nothing…
You searched every corner of that room and inside the satchel even though you were certain you had left your mother’s journal on the bed. No… no, this couldn’t be happening… After searching for a little longer, the panic was complete. It was gone. Stolen so cruelly.
“NO!” you screamed in agony and rage, over and over again, tears blurred your vision.
The door flew open, three paladins entered the room, their weapons drawn and looking very irritated.
One of them marched over to you, knife in hand, he grabbed you by the neck and held the knife to your chin. “If you’re not quiet, we’ll call for Brother Salt!”
Another insulted you under his breath to his comrade, it was barely audible. “Fey whore… nothing but trouble.”
The sound of slow footsteps were a warning of the presence of another, the Monk’s aura was ominous as he stepped into the room. The commotion must have led him there again.
“You will do no such thing.” The voice of the Monk haunted their shadows. He had heard them threaten to bring in Brother Salt. The ones closest to him turned to him and bend their heads down in submission right away. His voice was dangerously low. “Unhand her, Brother Odel.”
The paladin let go of your neck and stepped away from you. The Monk entered further into the room, the paladins did not dare to look at him, they kept their heads down. He stopped a little to your side, his eyes rather alarmed by the tears and the state you were in. You froze completely when he touched your chin just where the knife had been moments ago.
His eyes scanned your face for injuries, he whispered the question to you, “Are you hurt?”
Nothing else but your heart was in pain. You shook your head, fearing that if you’d speak they would all hear your voice break.
He looked at the paladins over his shoulder. “Out!”
They took that opportunity with open arms and scurried away and out of the room, letting the door fall shut behind them.
The Monk tried to read your eyes but saw them drowned by tears. “What happened to-”
“They stole it. Her journal…” your voice broke, “they stole it. It’s gone.”
His expression was now undoubtedly alarmed. If one of the paladins had taken this journal… if it described the marks of the Ash Folk…this could cost him everything.
He did not need long to figure out when this must have happened. “Someone must have taken it while we were in the stables.”
You were trying to hold yourself together, feeling too vulnerable when you cried, it was no use. They had stolen the only memory of your mother and it had broken you.
“Please, find it for me?” you couldn’t stop the tears. He didn’t answer right away. You took it for a ‘no’.
You took hold of the fabric of his surcoat at his chest. “I beg you, please!” You didn’t care that you had to beg, you wanted that journal back more than anything. “Please, I just want it back. It’s all I have of her. I’ll do anything, anything you want. Please!”
The tears, the pleas, the breaking in your voice. It was too much to bear.
He took hold of your hands and tried to gently pry them loose.
“Please… please…” you begged, feeling how your voice was weakening more and more from emotions, it was getting harder to speak because your throat felt too tight.
He couldn’t stand to hear this suffering, he made a weak plea of his own. “Stop…”
You didn’t let go. “I’ll obey. I’ll be a wife. Please… please…”
He stopped trying to pry your hands off of him and suddenly reached out to cup your face. He cradled your head, hushing you, “Shhh…”
The sob fell from you. “I just want it back.”
“I know.” he said, then hushed you again. “I will find it.” he vowed.
It was a promise he perhaps could not fulfill, but heaven he would try.
You wanted to hide your face behind your hands, embarrassed to have shown this weakness. The moment he saw you try, he gently brought you closer to him, his hand on the back of your head brought it closer until it was to his shoulder. You shouldn’t have let it happen, but he was the only person you could still form some trust in. He moved very slow, his hand held your head to his shoulder, the other rested on your arm. How oddly calming…
The sound of someone nearing the door almost went unnoticed, it was already opening when the Monk quickly stepped away from you. Father Carden, followed by two paladins, entered the room.
“Bring her to the room, my son.” Father Carden gave the Monk the command.
The Monk stared at the priest, confused by why it was being asked.
“Now.” Father Carden said, annoyed by how slow his Weeping Monk was reacting to the command.
“Yes, Father.” The Monk finally responded and reached down to take the rope that had hanged around the sheath of his short sword.
“No.” The priest said. “She will need her hands.”
You didn’t like to hear that at all, the Monk had surely felt how tense you were when he took hold of your upper arm to lead you out of the room with him.
The destination was the room the Monk had once brought you in to teach you how to wield a sword. A large brazier stood in the midst of the room, there were a few other elder paladins present. Father Carden ordered for the two paladins to take over from the Monk and bring you towards the brazier. The Monk did not stray far, he kept a careful watch over the situation. The brazier stood in between you and the priest.
Father Carden spoke to you, making certain that all who were present heard it as well. “God has brought you to us, girl. And by the glory of God you will serve us well.” He gestured to the flames, confident in his words. “Fey Fire. You will show our Brothers that this fire now rests in our hands.”
You shook your head. “I can’t.”
“You can, child.” he said. “Our Weeping Monk has seen it.”
“I can’t control it!” you snapped at him.
The priest would not hear any excuses. “You will learn. Or I will feed what I found in your room to the flames.”
He beckoned for one of the paladins to come forward, in their hands was your mother’s journal. You moved forward, the paladins that held your arms pulled you back again. Father Carden held the journal above the fire.
“No!” you shouted.
He gave the ultimatum. “Show them the Fey Fire, girl. Or I will burn it.”
The paladins brought you just in front of the flames, Father Carden took a step back. They only released one of your arms and a paladin made you hold it out towards the fire. Slowly you brought your hand into the flames, feeling all the eyes in the room on you. No matter how much you tried to concentrate, it was no use, the distress was making it impossible. You pulled your hand from the fire again. The priest looked very disappointed, he felt how his paladins were losing faith in his words. He looked towards his Weeping Monk as if he had betrayed him. The Monk recognized the look aimed at him and stepped forward, moving past the paladins and gesturing for the ones holding you to let go. Your body was shaking, the threat of having the last memory of your mother burned at your failure was too much to bear. The Monk took hold on your lower arm, standing against you a little.
“I can’t do this.” you whispered to him.
He tried not to look at Father Carden. “I am certain that you can. Ignore all else. Concentrate.”
With a gentle squeeze to your arm, he hoped to give some comfort. He held on to your arm and slowly made you move your hand into the fire again. He avoided touching the flames himself, it would alert the paladins that there was a secret being kept from them. The Hidden offered their support now that he was part of it, this time the flames did transform to that mystical green. Shocked mumbling and whispers were heard throughout the room.
One look at Father told him that he was pleased with this. One look at you and he could see the green glow reflect in your eyes as you stared down into the flames. It was better that he was near, in case your marks would make an appearance.
The Monk moved your hand out of the flames, they turned back to normal mere seconds later, he looked so proud.
Father Carden clapped his hands together, then spread his arms wide open to praise the God they worshiped. “God smiles on us today! The girl brought forth an ancient Fey relic. Let your doubt be cast aside, Brothers. We are on the right path.”
“Yes, Father.” The paladins echoed.
The priest turned to his Weeping Monk. “Bring her back to her room.”
He was relieved to hear the command. “Yes, Father.”
You didn’t let him walk you away from the priest just yet, making your demand first. “I want the journal back.”
“This,” Father Carden held up the journal, giving a knowing look to the Monk, “- is too dangerous in your hands, girl.”
He wasn’t going to give it back… he stole it… You shot forward. “You filthy thief!”
The Monk was barely in time to stop you from attacking the priest, still you tried to break free from his hands.
“Hold her.” Father Carden commanded the Monk.
He looked at the priest. “Father-”
He knew why Father was asking this of him, and he did not want to be a part of it.
The priest approached with a glare, the Monk moved you one step behind him instantly. A grave mistake in the eyes of the priest, who directed his silent fury to the one who dared to defy him in front of others.
He knew what was coming, what this would cost him. No one defied Father without suffering the consequences.
Father Carden struck the Monk with the back of his hand. Hard. It left a red mark across the Monk’s cheek. You couldn’t believe what you had just witnessed, and they all acted like this was normal behavior of the priest.
“You will bleed for her. Do you understand?” The priest warned him coldly.
The Monk said not a word, he only gave a nod.
He was burdened with his own further punishment for this defiance. The scourge would meet his skin again.
The priest gave the order again, this time to the two paladins who had previously held you. “Bring her back to her room.”
You cast a quick look at the Monk, who kept his eyes on the floor now. Guilt had begun to gnaw at you over it, if you had just kept quiet… he wouldn’t have been struck. When the paladins grabbed hold of your arms again and began to lead you out of the room, you didn’t struggle.
  ~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~
    In the hours you had spend alone in the room after the ordeal with Father Carden, you had not stopped thinking about it. That hit had been meant for you, not for the Monk. He must have known what his defiance would bring him and yet he had still stepped in between you and the priest to shield you from the violence. No one had ever done such a thing for you before. Evening had fallen over the monastery and you caught yourself worrying about the Monk. What Father Carden had said to him, that warning… you hated to think about what it could mean.
The door was being unlocked and slowly opened by the Monk, as if he feared to wake you in case you already slept. He had just closed the door behind him when you spoke to him.
“I’m sorry.” You meant it.
He frowned, not understanding what the apology was for.
You sat on the bed, looking up at him with sincerity. “It’s my fault that he struck you. I shouldn’t have tried to attack him. We had an agreement and I broke it, I failed to pretend to yield to him.”
“It is not your fault.” He stepped closer to the bed. “I knew the consequences, I made the decision to risk them.”
“That hit wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for me. I could handle it.” you said. He shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t his punishment to take.
Something flashed in his eyes, he forced himself to look out of that small window. He spoke so very quietly, “You have handled being struck for too long. I saw your scars.” He shook his head a little. “I have no doubt that you are brave enough to withstand it, but I won’t allow it.”
You didn’t know what to say, he sounded so angry at the fact that you have had to withstand the torment Aldith and Cassian had put you through.
“Why did he say that you’ll bleed for me?” you barely dared to ask.
He got evasive right away. “It meant nothing.”
You weren’t content with that answer, “Was he threatening you?”
He shut your attempts down rather firmly. “Do not concern yourself over it.”
You looked down at your hands, sensing that he wasn’t willing to speak of this to you at all.
He changed the subject and explained the reason for that whole ordeal. “Father wanted to show the paladins that your presence among us is with good reason. There were rumors spreading.”
“What sort of rumors?” you got vigilant right away.
He got uneasy. “Some thought that…uhm…”
The many visits to your room by him, being kept in his tent, and then the marriage… It was no surprise that rumors had spread. Even he had heard the whispers behind his back from his Red Brothers.
You made a bold guess, “Did they think you were bedding me?”
The Monk looked at you as if you had spoken the crudest words you knew and it had rattled him a bit. It still took him a moment to scrap together the courage to nod.
Sarcasm was dripping from your words. “I wonder what made them think so. The only thing we did was sleep in a tent together and wed.”
He send you quite a look, he could tell that you were jesting. Maybe he had thought that you would be furious about it. He looked at the large piece of bread on the bedside table that the paladins had left for you.
“They’ve started feeding me again.” you pointed at it.
He was pleased to see it. “Good. I ordered them to.”
You reached for it. “Do you want some of it?”
“No.” A hint of a rare smile was on his lips.
You tore a piece off for yourself and began to eat it, “Why did Father Carden say that my mother’s journal was a dangerous thing to have?”
After a moment of hesitation, he sat down on the edge of the bed slowly. “It could tell the paladins of what the Ash Folk were, and threaten to expose what we are. What I am.”
He had a point… still…
“He won’t risk losing his best soldier…” you concluded from it.
he brushed his hand over the sheets. “I have your mother’s journal, it is in my room.”
Your eyes went wide, you had thought the priest would never let it go again. The bread fell from your hands and unto the bed. “You do?”
That instant light of hope in your eyes…
He gave a nod. “I was able to convince Father that it would be safer with me. He asked me to see if there was anything useful among the pages.”
It had hit a nerve, “Useful?! That’s my mother’s journal! That was her life!”
He held up his hand somewhat in defeat. “I know. And I do not intend to read it.”
“Can I have it back?” You feared what the answer would be.
He hated to disappoint you. “They will take it from you again if they find it here.”
So… that was a ‘no’ then.
“You have her journal…” your voice went quiet. You had to look away, your eyes had gotten watery at the news. It was like your heart was breaking because of it.
“I will keep it safe. You have my word.” he vowed.
You shook your head and looked to the wall instead of him. “I’m being stripped of everything that I am and own. They’re taking everything from me.”
The Monk got quiet.
“Better in your hands than in his, I suppose.” your shoulder shrugged. “I just wish I could have it with me.”
He was considering getting up and getting the journal from his room. But if Father knew…
The door creaked open slowly, you turned your head to see who was there. The Monk stood up fast and let out a pained groan. Your eyes snapped to him right away. He looked at the open door, no one was there…
No one but the whispers who announced their presence to him. As if they had heard his thoughts and encouraged him to do what he was thinking of. Getting the journal…
You frowned at the door, it had been just like the night they caught you wandering the halls. “I didn’t do that.”
He believed you and went to close the door. “I know. It was them.”
The whispers sounded so disappointed in his decision. But he had taken a lot of risks today already.
“Not worried it’s going to open again, and that you’ll find me in the halls again?” you asked.
He looked at you, “Should I be?”
You were firm on that. “I’m not running off without my mother’s journal.”
As he turned to walk in your direction again, he winced and halted.
He had stood up from the bed too quickly. The trickle of blood running down his back was evidence of it.
You no longer ignored what you could see, “Are you alright?”
He nodded.
You stood up from the bed, and as you did you focused on the scents in the room and caught the faint scent of blood. “I don’t think you are.”
“It is nothing.” he denied it again.
“You’re bleeding.” you stated.
His eyes snap to your face, “How do you-”
“If I concentrate, I can smell it.” It felt a bit awkward to say it out loud.
He didn’t seem to find it strange at all to hear it, for him it must have been quite normal. You got closer to him, trying to see where he was bleeding.
He held up a hand somewhat to stop you, sensing your intent. “It won’t bleed long. It is on my back.”
The reluctance he showed to speak of it was rather alarming to you.
“Why are you bleeding?” you asked, slowly reaching your hand out to touch his arm.
His eyes were fixed on your hand, the truth fell out of him because of it, “The scourge.”
Realization hit you. The warning of the priest…
    ~“You will bleed for her.”~
    He was bleeding, because Father Carden expected it of him after the defiance he had shown. It hadn’t been a warning, it had been an order. It was a terrible realization, to know that someone else was bleeding just for having helped you. That he was so manipulated by the priest that he believed he needed to ‘cleanse’ himself.
You stepped closer. “I can help you. I was taught how to treat wounds by the healer of Ravenwick.”
“No.” He shook his head.
“I’ve tended to my own injuries. I can do it.” you reassured him, letting your voice go sweeter.
His tone softened ever so little as well, “It’s not that.”
“It’s forbidden by the Church?” you guessed. “Even if we are wed?”
The Monk swallowed hard, it was hard for him to tell you. “Father would never allow it.”
Father would never allow for this to be a normal marriage. For a Fey woman and him… no. This was never meant to be more than an arrangement Father had made to ensure you would not be claimed back by your father.
It was getting clear to you. “Because part of me is Fey?”
The look in his eyes confirmed it for you. Even helping him was seen as a sin, simply because you were Fey. Because the Fey were what the Church hoped to eradicate from the lands. Nothing of the Fey was welcomed by them, not their medicine, not their knowledge, nothing…
You frowned. "But you said it was safe for your soul because I was not influenced by it during my upbringing."
"You would use Fey practices on me." He touched your hand as it rested on his arm. “I do not mean to insult you.”
You tried to smile whilst you pulled your hand back, to avoid showing him that it did feel insulting. “Why should I be insulted? I was just forced into a marriage, and Father Carden will not even allow me to help you, because I am Fey and you cannot risk ruining your chance at ‘salvation’ by letting something Fey heal you.”
He could not deny the truth. “I-”
“Fey medicine, Fey books, Fey songs… everything ‘Fey’ is forbidden. The Manblood in me is not enough to erase the rest of me that the Church forbids.” You took a step back. “I will not taint you, Lancelot. I will not ruin what you so wish for. Consider yourself safe from my ‘Fey’ influence.”
He didn’t know why he disliked it so much that you were creating a distance, like you were slipping away through his fingers and he could not stop it from happening. Forced to watch, powerless to stop it. What you had said was true. The punishment for letting a Fey heal him would be severe. The usage of Fey medicine alone had caused many to burn at the stake already. Once the mission was completed, nothing of the Fey would be left in the lands. If you had been Manblood and had helped him, this would only have been an infringement on the vow he had taken. But the Feyblood in you made this an entirely different matter. Father would not be forgiving if he knew of the sympathy he felt for you, nor if he ever learned of you healing him.
The Monk took a step closer, hoping to erase some of the distance you had created.
You took another back. “We may be born of the same clan, but our paths do not conjoin. I can no longer pretend that I am not Fey and I won’t either. And the only way for you to have what you want, is to forsake all that is Fey even if that means yourself.”
He tilted his head down, a sign that it was getting through to him.
“Can you?” you whispered. “Can you forsake it all?”
His eyes lifted from the ground and up to yours. He did not answer and you took another step back.
You turned away from him, facing the bed instead. “You should go and tend to that wound.”
He knew when he was being dismissed.
You heard him leave the room and lock the door behind him again. This whole day had left you feeling so small, so worthless and outcasted. Your mother’s journal first stolen, and now left in the possession of another. Your help was rejected because no matter how much Manblood was in your veins, no matter the skill in tending to injuries you possessed, the Feyblood would always be seen as a risk by those of the Church. Even the one person, who shared the same Ash Folk blood, was afraid to let himself be healed by you. One like him could not allow a Fey to heal him, he would be shunned for it by Father Carden.
It left you with a bitter feeling. As if you were something filthy in their eyes and the only way to gain some of their approval would be to serve their purpose and erase all you were. Just like the Monk was desperately trying to do. You crawled into bed and put your own journal under the pillow, hoping they wouldn’t steal it too. It took quiet some time to fall asleep, the trouble of the day made it difficult. Rest was not granted to you it seemed, because you woke up from something cold against your neck. The whispers of the Hidden warned you of the threat present in the dark room.
      ~“If you scream, I’ll cut your throat.”~
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cultherent · 2 years ago
Text
Incomplete Report
TW: spanking | WC: 2.4k
How did you end up here? L on top of you, the both of you in a heated kiss, and no one watching. His skin is paper white except for the hickies you left on his neck. His eyes were wide, they were calling to you, yearning for more.
. . . 
It was later in the night, everyone had gone to their rooms and it was only you and L working. “Y/N, are you almost finished with your reports?” L sat in his chair, his feet straddling the end of his seat like always. He sucked on a lollipop, his eyes on you, waiting for a reply.
You brushed the hair out of your face and look up from your laptop, the bags under your eyes showing. The man frowned, ready to get you a coffee if you needed it.
“I’m almost done, I just need to figure out a few more things.” 
Exhaling from your nose, your gaze fell back on your monitor, frustrated that you’ve been at it for so long. Hearing rolling sounds beside you, L sat right next to you.
“Do you mind if I take a look?” You sighed, ready to rebuttal, but he took the laptop without your confirmation. “Let’s see…” His finger fell onto his lip, he bit down softly, and you watched him. 
A part of you was happy he was this close to you. His elbow was near yours, and you imagined yourself brushing your arm against it. You didn’t realize you were daydreaming, staring at his arm, until his head made its way to your stuck eyes’ view.
“Uh-” Your eyes widened, and you backed up. You wished you didn’t react that way. You wanted to linger there just enough to get a good whiff. 
“I can finish this for you. It’s almost complete, and you look like you really need some rest.”
Your arms raised, your fingers saying no, but the man didn’t care. You frowned and then stood from your chair. L turned on the lights to make sure you didn’t trip, the brightness causing you to wince.
“I’ll come with you,” you felt L approach you once again, this time holding your arm in his. “Close your eyes, I’ll lead you to your room.” You did as told, closing your eyes and clinging to him. 
On your journey to your room, you leaned close to L. Every time you breathed in, you smelled how sweet he was, exactly like the sweets he ate. That thought made you wonder, and you wanted to know if he tasted just like the lollipop he was sucking. 
This wasn’t the first for you to daydream about your boss. His appearance and stature might have been a turn-off for some people, but his lanky body and demeanor just made you cave. To help you sleep every night, you’d dream about all the things you’d do to him. You’d dream about pulling his hair, seeing your handprint on his ass, and seeing what he looked like unclothed. 
You already knew how his ass looked when he and Light were fighting, you were extremely delighted.
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“We’re here, you can open your eyes.” L stood beside your door, waiting for you to react.
You smiled and thanked him. You went and opened your door, but you hesitated in the doorway. You turned around, your eyes connecting with his. Your mouth opened, then closed, your pupils darting to the floor. You wanted to say something, but you weren’t sure of what.
“Are you alright? Do you need to talk to me about something?”
“I-...” You sighed, scratching the back of your head. “Just, thank you again.” He smiled and nodded, but he still stood there. You leaned on your door and widened your mouth again, “I don’t mean to take so long with these reports. I could do them faster. It’s just… you’re the problem L.” His head cocked back as his eyebrow arched, his eyes opening more ever so slightly. 
“What do you mean I’m the problem?”
Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe you were done with having this crush on him, but you were letting it out now. Who cares about how it might change everything? You didn’t really think it would. You mostly cared about your work and catching Kira. So, if he didn’t reciprocate anything, you could just move on and focus better.
“Y’know what.” His eyes stayed fixed on yours, “I like you L. I’ve liked you for a while. I can’t concentrate on my work well enough because I can’t stop thinking about you.”
It took a moment, but he responded, “You like me?”
“Yes, I like you.” 
After another pause, “I like you too, Y/N.”
The both of you stood there for God knows how long soaking in the shared knowledge that was dumped on the both of you. When you finally recuperated yourself, you smiled, your cheeks heating. L was doing the same.
“Do you want to come inside?” 
L nodded and entered your room, you close the door behind him. You motioned for him to sit on your bed and you sat beside him. Your bodies were turned, wanting to gaze at one another. You watched as he shifted in his jeans, his posture curled towards you. He moved his black hair away from his face only for it to fall back into place. Laughter broke the silence that the room was once filled with. 
“That’s one reason I like you,” you placed your hand on your bed and leaned on it. “I really like your mannerisms. Like how you have to eat your candies and how you curl in your chair.”
The man smiled, “I like yours as well. I like when you move your hair and reveal your neck or when you're nervous because you fidget.”
Your cheeks heat again, your posture shifting to scrunching into itself, wanting to feel your skin on your skin. “Stowp,” your hands rushed to your face, and you hid behind them. L chuckled and moved closer to you, moving your hands away with his own. The contact sent a warm rush through your body.
With the small string of confidence you had, you sat up and moved to be inches away from him. You could feel his breath on you, but he didn’t back away, “I want to know how you taste.” Your eyes turned sultry, your lips now with a thin layer of saliva. “I want to know if you taste like candy.”
L’s pale skin showed a hint of pink around his cheeks, and he smiled. Collecting courage for himself, “Then kiss me.”
Never in a million years did you think this was ever going to happen, you connecting your lips with L, feeling how soft they were, and finding out he tasted exactly like sugar. His taste was contagious. You only wanted more. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stuck your tongue out during your kiss. His tongue pressed against yours, and you found your tongues dancing with each another. 
As the kiss intensified, you found your back pressed against your bed, L on top of you. Your hands traveled all around his back. You used your fingers to run up and down his sides. Your kisses traveled to his neck, your lips attaching to the skin and leaving marks. As you did, you heard noises come from the man above you making you smirk on his skin. Soon enough, your hands traveled to his ass and you found yourself with your hands under his pants, squeezing him. 
Lawliet moaned, and he felt his legs go weak, his chest falling onto yours. Your lips separate, your hands going to the nape of his back, and you gazed at his lips and chuckled. The skin around his lips was red.
“I like how reactive you are” He smiled and fell onto your bed, him laying beside you. 
“Watch this,” he lifted his plain white T, which you used to joke camouflaged with his skin, and dragged his fingers across his stomach. Red lines slowly appeared causing your wet dreams to replay in your head.
“Can you go on your stomach?” He nodded, his head facing you, his eyes littered with wonder.
You hooked your fingers under his jeans and glanced for approval. With a nod, you lowered his jeans and realized why you didn’t feel extra fabric. He was commando.
“Do you do this often?”
“No. We ran out of laundry detergent, and I’m out of boxers.”
You both chuckled, and you placed your hand on one of his cheeks. It was soft, and the skin was bare. He was warm, and he smiled when you placed your lips on it. Leaving a kiss, you bit down softly and left a red mark. 
“Do you mind if I do something?”
“Go ahead.” In an instant, you smacked his ass. Your handprint next to the bite mark you left. “You can go harder if you want.”
“Is that a suggestion or a request?” You smirked as you rubbed his butt. He grabbed the sheets of your bed and hid behind them. “Oh, come on. Don’t lose your confidence now.”
“A request.” You blushed and grinned, L doing the same.
You found yourself mesmerized by L’s ass. The way it bounced when you hit it, the fact that your hand was perfectly copied onto his skin, and how he’d whine and ask you for more. 
What you didn’t know was that L was secretly very kinky. Whenever it was one of those days and his hormones would scream to be let out, he'd watch videos like what you two were doing in the bedroom. He’d fantasized about it and kinda hoped that he’d do it with you. To plead and beg for more, to be on his knees. He wanted to be below you, but he beat himself up for it. He shouldn’t have been thinking about an employee like that. In his own way, he showed he cared by being nicer to you. 
“Huuughh~” L let out as you started stroking his cock. He was on his knees, his back arching, and his hands clenching the bed’s footboard as you knelt behind him. You yanked on his charcoal hair, his eyes reaching the ceiling. You smirked, satisfied that in front of your bed were mirrors, so you could see every single expression he made. 
“Look how pretty you look,” you lowered yourself, grabbing his face in your hand and kissing him. 
“Fuuuck, Y/N, stroke me faster,” you did as told, and whimpers engulfed the room.
Your attention went to his backside. You continued to fasten the pace as you caressed his balls. Soon enough, you began to kiss his gooch and pressed your tongue against it.
This evoked a cry. “If y-you keep d-doing that. I’m... I’m gonna-” 
His legs clenched, his torso fell onto the bed, and you heard him stifle his cries. You felt the warm liquid on your hand, and you gazed at it with interest. Lawliet rolled over, his back on the bed.
He grabbed your hand and pulled it close to him, “Sorry for making a mess on your hand.” He gazed into your eyes before ingesting it all. “All clean. Now it’s your turn.”
“There’s no need for that, I’m tired anyways.”
His eyes furrowed then he grinned, “Well, this will definitely make you fall asleep.”
You laid back where your pillows were, and L placed himself in between your legs. He kissed up and down your thighs, smiling at you whenever your eyes connected.
“Nice and sweet,” he gazed at your underwear, which was clearly stained with your fluids. He placed his fingers on you over your underwear, making small circles around your clit. 
You clung onto a pillow, biting your lip as he did. His actions fastened and then slowed, creating a little pattern. You moaned quietly, whining for more. He then removed your underwear to see the river that you left for him to turn into a lake. The motion you were getting before stopped as he drooled, staring at how beautiful you were. His fingers inspected your folds; he was so happy to see your beauty to the fullest, to be so trusting that you’d be this vulnerable with him.
His motions began shortly when your groaning continued, but he teased you. He didn’t touch your clit, but instead the crevasses of your folds, going up and down. A part of you wanted more, but the other liked how much he liked you. You felt just a little more confident in yourself. 
L’s lips pressed against your clit, but before he did, “You’re gorgeous.”
His pace fastened after time, and you gripped onto your sheets tightly, needing something to hold you back. Pressing his hand on your stomach, he slowly inserted a finger in you. It went in smoothly due to you being so wet, and you moaned from it. His finger curled, and after a bit of fiddling, he found that spot that made you want to scream with pleasure. 
As he curled, you couldn’t help but shove a pillow in front of your mouth to make sure not too much noise came out. His tongue attached to your clit as he started pleasuring it again.
“L, I’m gonna cum,” you let out from the sudden contact. He smiled and sped up the pass.
“Fuck~” you moaned as you clenched onto a body part. Your legs stiffened as your eyes rolled back, and heat rushed all through your whole body. Your eyes closed and you almost fell asleep. 
L was still near your clit, eating away your cum. “Thank you, L. I’m gonna clean myself up and go to bed.” L moved away and nodded, following you into your private bathroom. 
Laying in your bed, you were happy to find L beside you, hugging your torso. He wore one of your fluffy pajama pants, and you matched him. After only a little bit of cuddling, you both fell asleep.
. . . 
“L, what happened to your neck?” Light questioned as he watched L walk into the office. 
Lawliet raised his eyebrow and pointed towards the hickeys, “There’s nothing on my neck.”
You swiveled in your chair, internally admiring your work, “Yeah, what are you talking about? There’s nothing there.”
It will one day be forgotten because the next day, they were gone. Not really… just covered up with foundation. 
Light looked at the both of you baffled, and as everyone else entered the room, they supported your claims, throwing him into a frenzy. You and L chuckled.
The both of you told the team that you put hickies, using makeup, on L’s neck and to pretend that they weren’t there. Light was shocked, making comments the whole day. 
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aivoryyy · 1 year ago
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"Sweeter than cake"
Tom Riddle x !fem! Reader
pairing : tom riddle x oc / reader , reader is a girl , she/her , they live together in the muggle world ,with a maid
no usage of y/n, the name of the reader is Aivory Meadows (from now on lol)
summary : ¡ BIRTHDAY SPECIAL ! aivory(reader) wanted to surprise Tom for his birthday but it to only lead to something else..
contains : smut, a bit of fluff at start (?), birthday sex, ¡dom! Reader, !sub¡ Tom, nsfw, usage of vulgar words, sexual tension, dirty talk, grinding, oral (fem receiving)
a/n : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMMY AND TO MY BEAUTIFUL TOM GIRLS, HERE'S A TOM RIDDLE BDAY FANFICC AND ALSO HAPPY NEW YEARR ♡♡♡ and sorry if the fanfic feels incomplete for you or smth since the fanfic i was working on before had been deleted so i had to remake and rush this one 😭
minors don't interact
It's his birthday today. Tom's birthday is today. December 31. He doesn't like celebrating events like his birthday, but i want to surprise him. As much as i wanted and planned on baking him a cake, i couldn't. I didn't know how to. I might end up poisoning him if i tried. I already bought his cake yesterday, asking the maid to hide it for me in the fridge in the meantime.
Its 5:28 am right now, i should set up the surprise. He wakes up at 6 so i have to be quick and quiet too. The maid left earlier, so now its just me and Tom. Tom was supposed to go to work but i asked him to take the day off as it was his birthday and i wanted him by my side and he agreed.
I looked over at Tom's sleeping figure. He looked majestic under the light coming from the windows. I kissed his forehead before slowly lifting his arm up from my waist and gently putting it down on a pillow to make him think I'm still there. I made my way downstairs, a slight creak sound on every step I take. I went to my study, opening the drawer as i grabbed the gifts i had gotten for him. I only got him two gifts, it's gifts i knew he'd want. I got him the books he'd been wanting and i bought a lingerie. It was red with lace and two ribbons on the bra to cover my nipples, the red thong being thin and laced. His gifts are the books and me ♡.
All i need to do is change into the lingerie and fix the cake. I took the lingerie from the bag and brought it with me to the bathroom. I took of my clothes and wore the bra as it perfectly showed the shape and roundness of my boobs and the ribbons covering my nipples. I wore the thong, the thin fabric making it easy to tell wether I'm wet or not. And lastly, my ribbon headband. I loked in the mirror, fuck this lingerie barely covered shit. But i look hot. Since i was one of his 'gifts' my outfit should also be covered like a present. I took my oversized tshirt, well its not really mine— its tom's, and wore it.
I walked out of the bathroom, opening the fridge and taking out the box. I placed it on the counter beside his gift. I lit the candles, and as i did that, i felt arms wrap around my waist, tight. "Fuck, you look so beautiful in my shirt, darling" he whispered into my ear. His words making me chuckle as i turned around to face him, "happy birthday tommy" i said before he leans in, connecting our lips. "This for me?" He said, grabbing the gift bag that contained the books i bought for him. "Mhm," he stared at me for a moment before going back to kissing me. "thank you, doll" he said between kisses "let me open my gift now," he said to which i nodded. I thought he was talking about the gift bag until he suddenly ripped the shirt off of me. A gasp left my mouth, hearing the sudden sound of the shirt ripping. "Tom!—" i yelped, now my lingerie was exposed to him. "Fuck. Just looking at you right now, so fucking beautiful, doll" he praised, gripping my hips.
"I wonder what the fuck you were thinking while buying this." He growled in my ear, "jump" he said shortly, i quickly obliged and did it as he placed me on the counter. Instantly, his lips find mine and capture it in a passionate kiss. His kisses are harder and more forceful than before. A small moan escaping my lips "i have the urge to just fuck you on this counter right here right now." He whispers, his kisses trailing down my jaw to my neck.
"I'm gonna fucking enjoy this gift. Such a slut for me, yeah?" He teases, his hand making its way to my crotch area "look at this fucking thong, barely covering shit."
"Wait." I said, he stopped in his tracks."You're the birthday boy. I should be pleasuring you. Go upstairs." I said, jumping off the counter and grabbing his hand, leading him up the stairs."Oh? I like this bossy side of you"
later
"Tom! holy shit- up a bit, left—" slap. He slapped my thigh, i swear there'd be a mark. I know that i said i should be the one pleasuring him...but how could i have done that when the moment we walked into the bedroom, he ripped my clothes off and pinned me down?. "I know where your g-spot is, doll." He sucked on my clit, his skilled tongue slipping past my wet folds, "i love the way you clench around my tongue like that, doll. Let go now" he said, groaning into my pussy, sending vibrations up my body. With a final scream of pleasure, i released. My liquids releasing on his tongue "mhn...you taste good, doll. Sweeter than any fucking cake." He praised, it felt good everytime he'd praise me like that. "Sit up" he ordered "ride me." I quickly obliged, "fuck- you look so perfect, sitting on my cock like tha- shit!" He praised, i came 3 times already and him 2 times. He kissed my neck more, sucking on my skin as if it were his last meal, "fuck just like that, doll. Grind on my cock—" he groaned, both our heads tilted back in pleasure. All our clothes were on the floor. My headband was still on, though. He began thrusting up, my breasts bouncing with every thrust. "Tommy- I'm gonna-" "me too, me too, doll. Cum for me, lets come together—" he said, grabbing onto my hips tightly as they went down and squeezed my ass. Another release. We both were panting and sweating now. "I love this fucking gift, doll. I love you." "I love you too tommy, happy birthday" i said, kissing him.
(They went back downstairs ofc and stuff ♡)
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photogirl894 · 9 months ago
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Omg for the 1k celebration (congrats btw!!!) could I get prompt #2 from the physical affection list, "a tight, desperate embrace", with uhhhhh Tech x reader ;w;
(,,,I miss him-)
@captaingregorswife
I can definitely do that for you, friend! Sorry this took forever 😅
(I am part of the #TechLives movement, so this is going to reflect that immensely 😜)
**Slight season 3 spoilers, but really, it's nothing nobody doesn't know at this point**
"The Missing Piece"
2. A tight, desperate embrace
Pairing: Tech x fem reader
***
Nothing had been the same since Eriadu.
Since you and the Bad Batch had lost Tech.
There was a hole in the squad; a piece missing from the puzzle that put you all together. You all felt incomplete without him. Once he was lost to you, it seemed as though everything else fell apart after that.
Omega was captured soon after and Echo had gone off with Rex again. Hunter was driving himself crazy following every possible lead and scouring the galaxy trying to find Omega while you and Wrecker did your best to keep him sane. It was no easy task by any means. Hunter was beyond determined to find her.
Though, as fate would have it, Omega was the one who found all of you.
After months and months of searching, she made her way back to you along with Crosshair, much to all of your surprise. Yet it didn't matter. Omega was safe and Crosshair had turned his back on the Empire. While Hunter took a bit of time to forgive Crosshair for the past, you and Wrecker were quicker to since Omega trusted him. That was good enough for you. Even Echo reunited with all of you, even if it was temporary, to help on a mission. Things had gone well overall and the lot of you had returned to Pabu, things within your squad now on the mend.
The only thing that would fully heal your broken squad was if Tech were still alive...but sadly, you didn't think that was possible. There would always be a Tech-sized wound in all your hearts that would never heal.
His loss was still felt amongst all of you even when things were starting to look up. Part of why you all had gone on your previous mission was because Tech wasn't there. Omega had brought an Imperial datapad that needed decrypting, but without Tech to do it, you all had to go to an Imperial facility and plug it into a computer there so it could bypass the encryption in order to get the information on it. It was hard not having his knowledge of technology to help on missions, but you found yourself missing his many ramblings and even just the sound of his voice or his very presence in the pilot's seat of the Marauder...things you had all taken for granted before.
You'd had a soft spot for Tech for quite a while and his death had hit you pretty hard, but you never thought it would be this painful without him. It felt as though a part of you had died with him and had been left behind on Eriadu. The part of you that felt the happiest and most content. Tech had made you feel safe and even heard. You hadn't realized how calm his voice made you feel until it was no longer there for you to hear. You missed the feel of his hands taking yours to anchor you in reality when things got too rough on a mission.
You missed him and everything that he was. More than you ever realized you would.
One day, you and the squad were all aboard the Marauder enjoying a breakfast of hot moogan tea and fruit provided yet again by Shep, the leader of Pabu, and his daughter, Lyanna. Echo was still with you for a couple of days, which felt nice, at least. However, as you were enjoying the peaceful morning, Lyanna came running inside, out of breath.
"You guys! There's a ship incoming! We don't recognize it," she called out.
Concerned that danger may be approaching, you and the Clones all jumped into action, rushing out of the ship and drawing blasters, ready to fire in case it was the Empire. You all watched an unfamiliar vessel come into the planet's atmosphere and soar through the sky.
"That doesn't look like an Imperial ship," commented Crosshair.
"Still stay on your guard," Hunter ordered everyone as the ship soon landed on the platform just yards away from them.
You waited with great anticipation to see who was going to come out of the ship. Was it someone from the Empire? Or a bounty hunter? Or maybe just another refugee wandering the galaxy? It was hard to guess.
You were not prepared for who it actually was.
The ramp to the ship lowered down...and, with a slight limp, broken armor, cracked goggles and with a couple cuts and bruises on his face...out came Tech.
Your blaster fell from your hand and clattered to the ground. "Tech...?" you asked aloud in pure shock.
"I don't believe it!" Wrecker gasped.
Everyone else lowered their weapons, stunned at the sight they saw before them that they once believed was impossible.
He stopped at the bottom of the ramp, took in the sight of his whole family gawking in unbelief in him and simply asked, "What have I missed?"
That was it for you. Upon hearing his voice, you broke into a sprint towards him and practically threw yourself at him, pulling him into a tight, desperate embrace that made him release a surprised grunt.
"Tech! I can't believe you're alive!" you exclaimed.
Before he could answer, you felt another larger pair of arms encircle you both as Wrecker hugged the two of you hard. "You're really here...you're alive...!" Wrecker said, his voice trembling, which you understood completely. He had watched Tech fall with his own eyes because he couldn't keep hold of the railcar that Tech had attached himself to. Poor Wrecker had probably harbored so much guilt for so long over that.
"I thought that was obvious seeing as how I am here," Tech said, a little strained from being squeezed so tight by Wrecker.
"But how? How in the world did you survive?" you asked him as Wrecker let go and you pulled away from Tech.
Right then, Omega appeared and hugged him around the waist. "We missed you, Tech! We thought you were gone for good!" she cried.
He gave her a pat on the shoulder. "I have missed you all, as well." Then he looked to you and said, "To answer your question: that is not a story I can tell succinctly. It's...complicated," he replied.
"It's a story I'm sure we'll all want to hear anyway," said Hunter as he approached, a glad smile on his face.
Tech gave him a nod and then saw Crosshair beside him. "It's good to see you made it out, Crosshair," he remarked.
"Good to see you've come back from the dead," Crosshair replied, a small grin on his own face, too.
"Good to have you back, Tech," said Echo gladly.
Omega took Tech's arm, gave it a tug and stated, "Come on! Let's get on the Marauder and you can tell us everything."
"All in good time, Omega," said Hunter.
With that, they all turned away and started making their way back to the Marauder, but you stopped Tech for a moment by taking his hand. He turned to look at you and met your tear-filled gaze.
"I've missed you so much, Tech. I can't tell you how...miserable things have been without you...how miserable I've been without you," you told him, a couple tears falling from your eyes.
He reached up and lightly brushed your tears away. "There's no need to shed any tears for me, darling," he soothed you. "I am alive and I am here with you. That's all that matters"
"Our family is whole again," you said with a joyful smile.
And that, it was. The missing piece of the puzzle that was your found family had found his way back to you...and all was well once more.
If only this could've been how it really went...
Photogirl894's Physical Affection Prompts
Photogirl894's 1,000 Followers fics
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euphoriajunkie000 · 7 months ago
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underdog. prologue
-7 years ago- 
“The Jian, also known as the bird who shares wings. Only possesses one wing. Unless two people lean on each other and act like one, they’re incapable of flight. They’re imperfect, incomplete creatures.”
"But, for some reason, their way of life struck me as profoundly beautiful.....It was beautiful, I felt."
...How do you explain to a child that their parents have just been murdered...?
...A seven year old child no less...
...Do you sugar coat it...?
...Or do you tell them the horrible truth...?
...Do you lie and say that they are in a better place now…
...A place wyoue they’re flying with beautiful, white wings…
...A place wyoue angels thrive…
...Or do you say the five words that nobody ever wants to hear… 
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
...No one would ever want to be the person to break the news...
...But that was okay...
...Do you know why...?
...It's because you had to experience it yourself...
My darling,
It was late at night. The moon was shining over the dark night as stripes of the luminescent light was making its way through the windows. The scenery was still. It was beautiful. Too beautiful to even be real. But not everything had to have a grim setting in a tragedy like the stories your mother would read to you. No. This was your reality. And honestly, you didn't want anything to do with it anymore.
By the time you read this, everything has changed.
The moonlight was your one and only light source as you could only see what had laid out in front of you. You were crouching behind a rather large sofa, your hands over your mouth. The screams of escaping your parent's lips were horrifying. They kept on bouncing off the walls and you already knew that those wails of pain would forever haunt your dreams. You felt your heartbeat rising faster and faster as you broke out in a cold sweat. Your eyes were practically bulging out your head as you were afraid. Afraid of what would happen if you came out of your hiding spot. Afraid of what might happen if you even let out a squeak. Afraid of the dark figure that was in your house.
I won’t be able to wake up to your beautiful smile everyday.
When it all went quiet, you turned your head to the side to see what had exactly transpired. There was a man looming over your parents. He held a knife that was dripping with thick pearls of blood. "Where is she!" he yelled. "I’m not going to let any witnesses out of this damn house if it's the last thing I do!"
Or be able to see you on your wedding day.
"Get the hell out of my house!" your father yelled. His piercing blue eyes were gazing dangerously into the murderer's eyes. If he even did have the ability to move, there was no question he would kill the murderer with his own two hands. He would do anything to protect the only family that he had.
But I hope you know that your dad and I would do anything for you.
"Don't you even dare touch my darling!" your mother snapped with tears rolling down her face.
I hope when you're older, you can find this letter.
The man let out a *tsk* sound as the knife clattered to the floor. "Whatever," he said in a dangerously low voice. But you could tell that there was an evident smirk on his face. He grabbed the shirt collar of your father and raised him up. He gnashed his teeth together and slammed your father's head to the ground. He didn’t move after that. The villain bellowed at the top of his lungs, "I’ll search every square inch of this house if I have to!” You heard the creak of the white, carpeted staircase as the murderer began walking up the stairs slowly. Once it was dead silent, you had immediately scrambled away from the sofa.
As you looked around, your throat tightened up. There on the ground were your parents. It wouldn't even matter if the ambulance had arrived because by that time, they would have already left this world.
I know it hurts to finally realize that we’re gone by the time you read this.
Your breath hitched. your mother’s beautiful, long, pink hair was laid out in a fan. Her hair and clothes were drenched in blood. Some of it had started clotting around her recent wounds. Your father's black hair that was once combed neatly was now tangled up in a rat's nest. He had stab wounds that littered his body trying to protect your mother. They were laying on the once white carpet floor as their skin tones were a sickly pale color. The red liquid was everywhere. Not only was the blood dripping down the walls, but it was splattered on the floor in a horrifying manner. But the most heart-stricken thing you saw was your parent's eyes. They looked so dull and empty to the point you couldn't bear to look at them anymore. Your mother's once sparkling sea-foam green eyes and your father's deep, ocean blue eyes were now gray. Like they had lost any emotion connected to them in the world. You saw them barely move their fingers as they both tried to cling onto the last threads of life.
But it won't matter.
YOU FELT LIKE YOU COULDN'T BREATH.
Do you know why?
The most depressing part was the fact that they didn’t have the chance to name you. When holding the infant in their arms, they had a million thoughts running in their minds that were only filled with love. They had thought of a thousand dreams of what they wanted their beautiful little girl to achieve. Too bad they didn’t have the chance to see what their child grew up to be.
It's because we’ll be with you every step of the way.
Their names and actions would forever be engraved in your memory. If only someone could stop what was going to happen to you and the adversities you would be forced to face. 
Our ghostly fingertips will forever be connected to you, heart, mind, and soul.
It truly was such a shame for them to have died such a young age and quirkless as well. No wonder you felt so helpless, you felt like you were nothing. You felt like a zero, like you were worthless. 
You are worth so much.
You. Had. Nothing. 
Don’t feel grieved by what you couldn’t save.
If you had been a bit stronger, you could have saved them from this cruel fate. Your stomach was doing flips and front handsprings. You felt like you were about to puke. You had to get out of here, fast. You didn't want to see the sickly pale corpses of your parents.
If you ever miss us, call our names.
"M-mom? D-dad?"
If you can learn to do just that, you will be okay.
You didn’t know what to do other than to drop down onto your knees and intertwin your small fingers with theirs. Your lips began trembling as clear tears were about to flow down your face.
Don’t hide away.
You tried not to cry. You didn’t deserve to.
Never hold back your tears, you're trying so hard to be strong.
But as that same action replayed in your head, you couldn't hold it back anymore. "P-please... D-don't leave me... This is a joke right...?" You gripped harder. "...so please..." You inhaled a deep breath as you snapped your head to look at the ceiling, your beautiful wide eyes letting the tears cascade down your face. "...wake...up..."
I love you.
"...Darling..?" You lowered your head towards your mother. "...Darling... are you here...?" you mother asked. Her sweet as honey voice was now dry and cracked as it wavered in the air. 
Do you know why?
"Ye-yeah, I'm here, Mom..." You said with a shaky voice. 
It’s because.
"I just- I just want to let you know that we love you so much, darling. You have always been the light of our lives. And I know you're such a bright girl. I'm just- I'm just so sad that I'm never gonna see you when you grow older..."
You.
Your heart sank to the bottom of your chest. "This can't be happening-"
are.
She lifted up her hand as she gently caressed your face and wiped your tears away. She had put on a small smile yet, it held so much pain. "Hey, hey, hey. As long as I get to see you one last time, I already know that I can finally rest happy... Be the hero you want to be... And… I love you so much..."
my.
And then, she went limp.
everything,
The perfect wings that had once adorned your body were now ripped from your body as they would forever leave a wounded battle scar. They were your wings, and then they were ripped apart from your future in a blink of an eye. There was a hole in your heart that you couldn't cover up. But one thing’s for sure, you have finally found your name; it's...
Absolute Zero.
Bursting through the doors, you could never fathom the thought of any innocent people dying. From that day on, you wanted to be a hero. A melancholic smile appeared as you recollected your memories. You wanted to do what you couldn’t have done for your parents. You honestly didn’t know where you were going. All of that didn’t matter anymore because you just ran; with you tears overflowing until all you saw was darkness. The sting of the snow sticking onto you feet was just enough for you to stop moving.
It was such a shame that you didn’t notice the taller figure watching your every move.
As he aimed the tranquilizer at your neck, he shot it. He bounced off of the dark tree. He smiled painfully as he was pleased to say for a fact that you were unconscious. Bringing his mouth close to the communication device he only said one thing. 
“Phase 1 is complete.”
The tall figure reached down and you in his arms. The touch of your skin was starting to get colder and colder with each passing second. He traced the features of your face with an indescribable look. He looked solemnly at you, as if he was recalling something from his past. You were only a child. He bit his lip and positioned his eyes to view the night above him. Sighing to himself, he slowly carried your unconscious body towards the center of the forest, where you were originally running into. 
The silhouette of the tall trees surrounded him. A rush of wind and snow blew through his hair, he felt a shiver run up his spine. He closed his eyes out of instinct while holding the girl closer to his chest. As he peered around through the dark night, he had come to notice a very distinct concrete square. Piercing eyes stared down at the potential gateway.
Now stepping onto a concrete square, there was a certain symbol embedded onto the surface. It was a zero with a line slashing the number diagonally, left to right. As he rested his hand directly onto the emblem, he only whispered one thing, “Code:1016.” It glowed a beautiful blue hue. Suddenly a rush of azure and green colors came to life. They blasted upwards to the sky, the colors that had mingled together could put the northern lights to shame. When the light died down, you both were gone.
And there he was. 1016 stood on a clear launchpad that looked to be used for astrology and rockets. The pad looked to be strikingly similar to the hues of colors that the figure had experienced only a few minutes ago. The colors had a mind of their own as they began thrashing around wildly until they cooled down into a more peaceful state. Though, it wouldn’t matter because the tensile strength of the glass was unreal because it never let the colors out.
1016 looked around in his surroundings and it never failed to take his breath away. Above him was a transparent dome which led him to see the galactic hues up close and personal. It was almost as if the barrier wasn’t there and he could have just brushed his fingertips against the stars. The floor was made of tungsten or some other metal he couldn’t identify. Tubes that were filled to the brim with all the shades of the color wheel, ranging from green, blue, and purple. They glistened and glowed with sparks of light that appeared to be stars in each individual one. Black wires were everywhere, interconnecting within each other. But the one thing that he noticed was the hospital bed that laid in the corner. There was a recurring aesthetic of galaxy colors, tubes, and glass. But that was no different. The hospital bed was big with a clear, thin cylinder surrounding it. The top and the bottom that sealed the ends of the chute were both made of connected metals with an abundance of buttons on each side. A pillow rested peacefully against the mattress accompanied by delicate, white blankets.
Suddenly a soothing voice asked,“Did you get her?”
1016 nodded his head. “Yes, I did.”
A relieved chuckle was to be heard. And there he was. There was another young man sitting on a chair looking through a grand telescope. It was enormous. A tense silence filled the air until 1016 took a deep breath. “Can’t we think of another plan… You know one that doesn’t involve her?” As soon as those words fell out of his mouth there was a dangerous aura that radiated from the teen that was now standing in front of 1016.
An airy laugh left his lips until he exploded. 
“Do you still don’t understand?!” he demanded. There was a menacing glint in his eyes. He gritted his teeth together while gripping the 1016’s wrist tightly and dragged him to a telescope. Pushing him down into the chair, he said, “Look.” As the teenager looked to the dark night, he was absolutely spell bound by what he saw. It was absolutely beautiful. Splotches of purples, blues and pinks filled the nights until they were all mushed together in a brand new color. Stars were swirling around as they brightened luminously. It was perfect, too perfect. That is, until he spotted it. It was a meteorite hurtling towards them.
 “Now do you understand?!” he yelled. He pulled 1016 away from the telescope and forced his head to look up at the sky. He pointed to the meteor and fumed, “In about a few years or so, that fucker is literally about to obliterate the entire Earth! And do you know who has to pay up for our screw ups?! Us, you idiot! And that includes me.” The male pinched the bridge of his nose until he dragged his legs to sit in his chair. An inaudible ‘sorry’ whimpered out of the once furious man. He leaned his back against the cool metal chair with his palms pressed against his eyes. “What are we going to do…?”
1016 was shocked by the sudden outburst. In all his life when working with his partner, named 1004, he had almost always kept a cool composure. Sure, he would occasionally crack a few jokes or two, but he would never blow a fuse. As a result, 1016’s stomach churned with uncertainty.
1004’s gaze was cast down. “Look, 1016,” he started to grieve. “It's been around 20,000 years since you fell from grace and when I got banished.” There was a long pause. “We did something that we weren’t supposed to do. And this, this is the punishment for our actions.” A deep breath was to be heard from 1004 as he continued. “But you know the deal. In our punishment, we’re supposed to protect this planet, but because of our actions, we had most of our powers stripped!” 1004 groaned. “I mean- if we fail to protect this planet, it’s really going to be over.”
1016 thought hard for a moment, trying his best to think of any possible answer. “Oh-! I got it!” 1016 snapped his fingers. He grabbed 1004’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “I know what to do but you have to trust me.” Quickly, 1016 grabbed your body and handed you to 1004. Pushing one of the buttons of the capsule he laid you on the hospital bed. He attached a gasmask to your head. On the back were numerous ports that were connected to an abundance of the same wires he saw earlier. Gripping the black wires in his hand, 1016 plug each into a very large computer.
In a flash 1016 fingers typed at an alarmingly fast pace, his eyes never leaving the keyboard. 1004 looked over at his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing this time?”
But 1016 ignored the question of his partner. “You said that they only deleted some of our powers right? Well if you still have your time powers, I need you to stop time itself. Only for 2,000 years. This is the only way.” He looked directly at the screen that had an illuminated blue and continued. “I’m loading some data into her head. I honestly don’t know how it will work, but she’ll mentally be ancients of years old, though her physical appearance wouldn’t change. There are some things we have to alter though, understand?”
1004 nodded his head in agreement. 1016 grabbed a pen as well as a piece of blank paper. When he was done, 1016 slipped the paper to 1004. “At this exact time and place, I need you to release you. This is crucial. Like I said, you need to trust me.”
Your eyes opened.
You were starving. The piercing internal jab that kept on stabbing your abdomen was getting severe. Living on the streets was hard. How many years have passed? Three? No, four? You had lost count after a while. You found solace in a beaten up cardboard box. It was placed in a very dark alley as there were piles of garbage growing bigger with each passing day. You had managed to survive only on the table scraps that restaurants had no use for. Using the garbage bags as pillows, you curled into a ball on your right side and you waited for the night to engulf the city whole.
If anyone thought that the days were bad, the nights were hell in comparison. Heavy gunshots echoed between the alleyways while the air smelled like liquor. There would always be blood splattered on the concrete while drunk laughs and hiccups were heard from nearby bars. Neon signs that ranged from pink to blue and even a purple appeared everywhere if someone had just simply opened their eyes. It honestly would have been comforting knowing that the darkness wasn’t the only thing that consumed everything; if only the signs weren’t promoting sketched out night clubs.
You really did try resting your eyes but as soon as you did so, you woke up again. But no matter how much your eyes were battling the urge to close them, you couldn’t even sleep. You couldn’t take it anymore. You could survive. No. You needed to survive. You would do anything to see the next sunrise, even if you did get your hands a little dirty.
You pulled yourself together, what else could you do? Taking a deep breath, you set off to the neon lit streets. As you started walking, you ran into a boy who looked a bit older than you, not by much, however. You bumped into him, fully expecting pain to follow through, but nothing happened. In fact, he seemed quite fluffy, like an enormous teddy bear, the kind you would see in those rigged carnival games. 
“I’m so sorry!” you gasped.
But the person you ran into just smiled and waved his hand dismissively. You almost laughed because of how unreal he looked. He looked tall, though. If you had to give an estimate, your bet would be around 195 centimeters. He looked wide and friendly with his big smile touching the corners of his cheeks. It was as if the main fat animal from Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbor Totaro came to life and had sandy blonde hair.
“Are you okay?” he asked, with genuine concern overflowing from his facial expression.
Your face shamelessly heated up. He was too nice, it almost made you feel guilty for what you were about to do next. “Yeah!” you grinned. And unbeknownst to you, his face had also heated up. Although the dirt and grime was muddled in your hair, it didn’t take away from the shine in your eyes. He actually thought you looked… pretty cute, in a way. A short silence had ensued and you quickly broke the ice. “Thank you for worrying about my safety,” you expressed, but then you quickly started to run in the direction you had previously gone and lazily waved your hand. “You should go home before your parents start to worry!”
“W-Wait!” the middle schooler stuttered. “I didn’t catch your name!”
You bit your lip at the sudden words. It certainly has been a long time since you’ve had a friend. But, what if you scared them away because of the way you lived? You gulped and pushed those disgusting doubts away. You grinned, “You’ll know soon enough!” And with that, you ran, and you didn’t look back.
Once you were alone, you sighed. You were scared that you were going to get caught. In between the dark alleys, you sighed and leaned your back against the cold cement. You opened up a wallet, a wallet that did not belong to you. You had pickpocketed that nice middle-school boy who had tried to make sure you were okay. God, you were such a scumbag. You knew it wasn’t right, but life wasn’t fair. Survival of the fittest, right? That was the phrase that you had used to single-handedly justify your poor actions. You shrugged it off, you’ll pay him back soon enough. As you looked at the contents of the wallet, you saw and identification photo and name of the same boy you had ran into and his home address, along with–
“30,000 yen!” you gulped. Oh shit. You didn’t need this much money to enable you to do what you needed to do tonight. You bit the inside of your cheek, you weren’t going to use all of his money, just enough to help you survive this night. You smiled sadly, showing remorse for your actions as tears began to well up.
“Thanks, Taishiro Toyomitsu…”
As you navigated the grimy stairs that led to the underground tunnel, you scrunched up your nose. The air smelled of grime and dried blood. It made your stomach churn and your eyes very, very unhappy. The concrete below your feet was stained with water and mold started to form on the walls. The dull lights that illuminated the tunnel looked unstable, flickering as if they were about to burst a fuse at any second. You finally reached it, the front desk. The lady looked at you with sad eyes. Probably wondering why a young girl such as yourself would be in a place like this.
“May I help you?” she said.
“Yeah,” you said bitterly, but you tried your best not to show it. She didn’t do anything to you, so why should you take your anger out on her? Save it for the fight, you always remind yourself over and over again. “I’m here to compete, actually.”
“O-Oh,” the lady spluttered. “What’s your quirk?”
“You can’t turn me away,” you said apologetically. “This ring allows anyone of any age to compete. And, unfortunately, I don’t have one.”
“N-No! Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I just mean that there is an entry fee of 10,000 yen! I’m just not sure if someone as young as yourself can come up with that kind of cash-”
But before the last could say anything, you slided the demanded amount of money (thanks to Taishiro) on the cheap, plastic table she was sitting behind. She counted the money and nodded for you to go in.
You gulped, half terrified for what was to come next. You were about to fight for money in an underground martial arts ring,
Your duffle bag had already been waiting for you in the women’s locker room, you just needed to grab the bag with your belongings. You got ready in the dimly lit, unsanitized bathroom. Your long hair was tied back into a ponytail and you put on the rest of your uniform. It consisted of loose parachute pants that had hung by your hips, a sports bra, and a tight fitted black shirt. No quirks, and no armor to protect yourself, this was definitely going to be a long night. You shoved Taishiro’s wallet in your bag with the clothes you wore. You gripped your towel and your water bottle and pushed the bathroom door open. You shuffled through the packed stadium with your head feeling light. You knew that in the shady parts of the big city, people paid to see fighters dual it out in illegal rings. In addition to this, you also knew that fighters could enter by paying a rather hefty fee, but if they made a good enough show, they would also get paid a rather hefty fee. In the years you fought, you made a name for yourself. You weren’t the best by any means, but you were… respected among your peers. They were a lot older than you, and they knew that you didn’t have anything. No job, no education, no family, no quirk, and no future. During practice when you sparred against them, they didn’t hold back at all. They didn’t need to because you could get up by yourself. After a brutal beat down, they’d buy you snacks as a little token of their appreciation. And you’d graciously take it. You always did.
Now, you were watching the fight that had unfolded in front of you. You sat in the front row, the ring itself was a lot lower than where the audience sat. It was a safety precaution for if any fighter had a dangerous quirk, at least the difference in height between the ring and the stadium could offer protection. The element of the ring would change, it would offer a water based zone, earth based, you could name it all; anything to keep their patrons hooked. As you gazed below, your cheek resting on your forearm which was in turn resting on the railing. Although the cheers were so loud that you could have sworn that your ear drums would burst, you managed to block them out. You had other things to worry about. You looked at the one victor that had stood proudly. And you looked at the victim with such sadness, he was obliterated. Blood gushed from heavy hitting wounds with a black eye to match. You grimaced. That was going to be you.
“And now!” the announcer boomed. “What you have all been waiting for. The darling of this ring! Although she may look small in stature, I promise you that she kicks one hell of a punch! Give it up for… Honeysuckle!”
Cheers erupted from the crowd and claps filled the air. You smiled ever so graciously and you waved a hand in the air, pretending that this crowd won’t know what your bloodied face will look like in the span of twenty minutes. You had to pretend. You were good at pretending. So, you pretended that everything was fine. You looked up to see your opponent's face. He was a large, muscular man. A torn up wife-beater was tightly worn on his body with black cargo pants to match. And when you looked at his face, his right eye was completely white with a nasty scar that made its way from the right side of his forehead, through his eye, and ended at the corner of his lip. And your heart dropped. You studied all of the opponents in the databases this ring had to offer. And his quirk was nothing to sneeze at. It was shock absorption. Everytime you hit, he could hit harder. Everytime you kicked, he kicked harder. This felt like a sick joke. You were only a teenager for fucks sake, a teenager living out in the streets trying to make ends meet. You were angry at the organizers of your event. You were quirkless trying to face upon a stone, cold fighting machine. Your mouth ran dry, ‘Oh shit.’
“Ready! Three! Two! One! Fight!”
The man made no hesitation to strike first. He threw a right hook at your face and you dodged, only by a millisecond to lose. You gasped, you didn’t expect him to be this fast. While he was still fixed in his position, you gathered up the strength to kick him square in the ribs. It was powerful and you could hear the audience mourn in favor of him. You looked up and he only paid you a sickening grin. He harshly gripped your foot that had kicked him and he spun you around like a rotating top. You felt the air whipping your hair carelessly until he let go. Your back had hit the wall of the ring, hard. You felt yourself coughing up blood and you saw double. However, your opponent didn’t spare you any mercy as he kicked your ribs and you have sworn you felt your spine crack. 
‘Get up!’ you pleaded with yourself.
‘Get up!’
‘Get up!’
‘Goddamnit! Get up, Absolute Zero!’
Unbeknownst to you, he had grabbed a hold of a boulder. You felt the shadow looming over you and your eyes were blown wide open. He was about to smash your skull into a pulp. ‘Are they even allowed to do this!?’ you screeched. And with every fiber of your being, you did get up. With your hands planted on the ground, you pushed your torso from the ground up and moved your legs in a windmill fashion and kicked his legs with such an unwavering force that he fell down, boulder in hand. And you did it, you did manage to get up on your feet. But, he didn’t like that at all. Unfortunately, he recovered quickly as he started to bolt at you.
“You think you’re so cocky, huh?” he spat, lifting you in the air by gripping your collar.
You must have had a death wish because before you could stop yourself, you shot back, “Yeah, a cocky brat that knows how to use mouthwash.” 
He wiped the smug grin off your face by giving you a punch square in the jaw and on your eye too. Pain coursed through your body, but you weren’t done yet. You moistened your lips and with your core strength you swung your legs and crossed them over the arm he was grabbing you with. With one fell swoop, you rotated your body on top and his back hit the floor. While on the dirt of the ring, you knew you had to act fast. In all the years you have been fighting, you knew that you couldn’t win by brute strength alone. Endless night you have been studying about the pressure points located in the bodies of humans. Everyone has a constant flow of energy that allows them to use their quirks. Once you block that energy flow, you block their quirks, temporarily. It was this small piece of knowledge that was going to make you win the battles to come. Without a second to lose, you positioned your hands in order to make a certain formation. Your pinky and ring fingers were held down by your thumbs leaving your middle in pointer fingers extended. You jabbed the pressure points located in his neck, shoulders, arms, legs, and chest. The stadium soon fell silent. As your opponent came to his senses, he groggily tried to get up, although his eyes looked tired and clouded. He tried to throw a right hook at your face, but you dodged. You grinned, his movements were significantly slowed and it felt like fighting a drunk. Slowly breathing in then out, you enacted a front handspring and finally jumped so high as to see the top of your opponent’s head and you used a hook kick that took him down from the neck where your leg made contact. He fell, and you were victorious.
Everyone applauded you and you offered them a lazy grin. This was the first fight that you weren’t beaten into a pulp. You were escorted out of the ring with a genuine smile plastered across your face. You went to the bathroom and took a hot shower and cleaned yourself up. It felt like a reward in itself. You changed into a baggy crew neck and equally baggy cargo pants as well. Your hair was still wet, but you couldn’t care less. As you looked at your complexion in the mirror, you touched your jaw gently and you hissed with pain. Although you won, you didn’t feel like a winner. You felt like a girl who had escaped getting killed on the field and was given a head splitting migraine.
Putting on your shoes and clutching your duffle bag, you left the bathroom for a final time. You met the lady at the front desk; the same location in which you had given her the entry fee. She smiled ear to ear once she saw you.
“I’m so glad that you made it out okay!” she beamed. “I watched the footage and you truly are the darling of this ring! I made a bet on you because I knew you could do it!”
“Thank you,” you smiled shyly, “I’m glad that you didn’t lose your money.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m glad that you made it out in one piece! Which reminds me!” You saw her lean down and grip a safe that was hidden from others in plain sight. She placed it on the desk and opened it using a combination. “You award for tonight!” With that, she pushed a check for 550,000 yen to you.
You couldn’t believe your eyes. “550,000 yen?” Your voice wavered, this was ten times the amount that you were supposed to earn for this one night. “I-Is this a joke?”
The lady looked at you with concern. “N-No! It’s all authentic darling. I actually spoke with some of your friends that train with you. And they say that they want you to have a better life than this.” She sighed, “Their words not mine, but they say that you aren’t very good at hiding that you are homeless. Since your first day at fighting, they were actually matching the amount of money you earned and putting a deposit in a separate account once they think the money they will give you can support you, for fighting for good, or something like that. They overheard that you had dreams of becoming a hero and they wanted to help you reach that threshold.”
As the lady babbled on and on, your voice began to crack and you couldn’t hold back your tears any longer. The years of busting your ass trying to survive off in the streets, even opting to sleep in public restrooms for safety—it was all going to end today. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
“You could say thank you.”
You heard a familiar voice and you whipped your head to see your friends who you fought with standing at the end of the tunnel. You gripped the check in your hand and you raced toward the people you could have called your family. You jumped and hugged everyone that was there. Your hug was filled with gratitude and love for the people there. Heartbeats mingled into one unwavering rhythm.
“Why would you guys do this?” you asked with such happiness in your eyes.
“Because!” one of your friends said. “You’re too damn young and too damn kind to be living like this. You deserve the whole world for making it out this far.” He looked at you with tired eyes that had seen the world for decades now. “We all want to see you thrive, and smile like there’s not a care in the world. We all want you to make it to U.A. and become a hero!”
Now, you were just a mess. Ugly crying was to be heard along with sniffles and smiles along the way. “I don’t know what to say other than…
Thank you!”
As you ran outside of the underground tunnel, you heard one of your friends joke around and say, “If we don’t see you on the big screens, we want our money back!”
You laughed and waved. “Don’t worry! I’ll be sure to give it back with added interest!”
As you gazed at the high-end houses that stood neatly next to each other, you walked and looked at the addresses that could potentially match the one you were looking for. Then you saw him. For what you could assume to be his bedroom light, you could have sworn the boy you had met earlier had walked briskly past the window. It looked as if he was pacing back and forth frantically. Your shoes pattered against the sidewalk until you reached the front door of his house. His room was on the second floor and you cursed. Although you were good at hand to hand combat, you weren’t good at climbing people’s walls Rapunzel style. You were, unfortunately, not Flynn Rider. As you scaled the wall silently, as to not wake up any of the neighbors, you managed to find a resting stop under the presumed Taishiros window sill which was a minor roof that jutted out from the main body of the house. As you stood up on your tippy toes, you saw Taishiro pacing back and forth in a hurry. It looked like he was on the phone with his mom.
“I-I don’t know where I put it! I’m so screwed!”
The pit of guilt in your stomach just sank lower. God, you were just a selfish jackass weren’t you. Shaking your head, to get rid of those thoughts, you carefully opened his window once you saw his retreating figure head to another room. And carefully placed his wallet on the window sill. You heard his footsteps come closer and closer and you began to panic. You lost your balance and fell onto the ground. Thank god a rose bush was there to help the fall, not. You groaned but then as soon as you remembered your current situation, you ran as fast as you could into the moonlight.
“You know what, I think my teacher likes me, maybe she’ll be more lenient-” but Taishiro’s voice stopped to a halt. He looked at his window. He… He never remembered opening it up at this hour. “Hold on, I’ll call you back…” he said hesitantly and hung up the phone before the person on the other end could say anything. As he started to walk closer and closer to the window, he found the wallet he had been looking for, the wallet that made him nearly lose his mind over.
Opening the wallet, he saw a note tucked in the clear, plastic protector allocated for his middle school ID photo. It read:
“hey! absolute zero here! i just wanted to say that you lost your wallet somewhere and thank god there was an address along with your shining face :D here’s my number if you wanna talk (xxx)-xxx-xxxx”
Taishiro’s face burst into flames and he looked outside to see if you were there. You weren’t, but nonetheless, he grinned. As he counted the money in his wallet once more, he noticed the extra wadded up 1000 yen bill that was to be seen between the stacks of 10,000 yen bills. And he gave a boisterous laugh that echoed in the halls of his home.
Word count: 6775
36 notes · View notes
saksukei · 2 years ago
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ushijima love letters au
masterlist | suna love letters au
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you laughed as you read the crinkled letter with messy writing, in your hands,, how long had it been? eight or nine years? time had gone by so quickly,,,
you distinctly remember the first time you ever received ushijima’s cute little notes.
you had come back from the chemistry lab,, and found a piece of paper on your desk saying “i hope you had breakfast.”
assuming that it was a silly prank, you just tossed the little note alongside some papers in the depths of your school bag,,,
till you received another one the next day,, saying “morning runs are healthy. so maybe go on one sometime?”
and you were like (─.─||) is this person trying to say that I've put on weight??!!! DO THEY KNOW IM HUMAN AND ITS NORMAL TO PUT ON WEIGHT
you threw the note in your bag again
and then, the same happened the next day
except this note said,,, “sorry about the last chit. my friend told me I sounded rude. how was your day?”
you were like ??? can this person not make their mind up??? hello??
and so you kept on receiving them,, they ranged from “hope you did your math homework” to “carry a spare water bottle” to “stay safe when going back home”
and you got so used to receiving these notes that your day sort of felt incomplete without them,,, and you thought that you wanted to find the culprit behind them
and so,, you hid behind your class door,, to check who would come in to leave the little notes on your desk,,,
someone did come into class and it was not the person you expected. it was tendou. you figured you should confront him, it was now or never.
“so you're the one that's been sending me chits?!” you ask, and tendou jumps, not expecting you to be there.
“uhh–” he trails off, scratching the back of his head.
“sorry, I don't mean to put you in an awkward spot but I wanted to thank you for–”
“it’s not me, I'm only the messenger,” tendou interrupts. “he’s going to kill me if I tell you this–but it's ushijima,” tendou explains. “he likes you but he doesn't know how to say it so I suggested this way would be more better.”
and you were like (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
“yOU MEAN USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM CAPTAIN AND ACE LIKES ME????”
“sheesh no need to yell,” tendou retorted,,
“sorry, force of habit,” you smile sheepishly. “is there any chance you could get me to talk to ushijima?”
“as long as you don't reject him too harshly–then yes.”
tendou leads you to the captain who is practicing his spikes in the gym.
ushijima stares blankly when he sees you entering, despite his heart going fifty miles per hour. why were you here? you never visited the gymnasium.
he had in fact first seen you in his math class when you sat near the window and he was sitting behind you, watching you draw doodles on your textbook. eventually, it became a routine, where he'd chuckle at your little drawings of your math teacher.
he started looking for you during lunch hour, just having your presence around was enough for him. he never found it within himself to have the courage to talk to you. you were so nice, so kind and so out of his league.
it wasn't until tendou suggested this little idea that ushijima thought he might finally get to interact with you.
“hi, ushijima can I talk to you?” you ask, shyly and tendou nudges ushijima towards you, who manages to stutter out “yes you may,” following you outside.
“i saw tendou leaving the small chit on my desk,” you confess, and while ushijima has never been hit by a volleyball on the face, he sure feels like it would hurt less.
“i–i don't mean to embarrass you or anything!” you clear out, witnessing his spiral. “i wanted to say thank you, the notes were really sweet. And I was actually wondering if you'd like to go out on a date.”
youve never seen such a stoic man get red so fast. “i’d like that a lot yes.”
and while it's been years since school ended and you two have been together forever, he still leaves you the cutest notes.
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emzi-148 · 4 months ago
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I'm too lazy to multi-post today, so have this fic I made (semi-vent and inspired by a few instances irl)
❈❈❈
I Wish That You Would Stay in My Memories
The world was a soft blur of light when Cole opened his eyes. He was in a place that felt familiar but distant, like a memory from childhood. The sun filtered through lace curtains, casting patterns on the floor of a room that felt so safe, so warm.
His mother’s room. His mother.
She was there, standing by the window, her back to him, her hair falling in waves down her back, the way it always did when she didn’t bother to pin it up.
Cole’s heart thudded in his chest, confusion and disbelief washing over him in waves. He knew she was gone— He had watched her slip away from him so many years ago. But here she was, alive, real, as if nothing had changed.
“Mom?” The word came out a whisper, trembling on his lips, as if speaking louder would shatter this fragile moment.
She turned around, her smile bright and so full of life that it made his heart ache. Without thinking, Cole rushed to her and threw his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. The familiar scent of her skin, the softness of her embrace— it was all too much. He clung to her, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear.
“Cole,” she said softly, her voice warm. But something was off. There was a strangeness in her tone that sent a chill down his spine. He stiffened, pulling back slightly to look at her, to search her face for anything out of place.
“Mom?” he repeated, this time with a hint of doubt.
Her smile remained unchanged, but that voice… it wasn’t right. He realized with a jolt that he didn’t remember exactly what her voice sounded like anymore. It was as if time had worn down the edges of his memories, leaving them blurry, incomplete.
Her voice in his dreams was a patchwork of what he thought it should be, but not what it truly was.
This isn’t real.
The thought hit him like a punch to the gut, but he pushed it down. He didn’t want to think about that, not now, not when she was here.
They spent the day together, doing nothing in particular, just talking, laughing, being. Every moment was drenched in nostalgia, each word they shared pulling him further away from the present and deeper into this dream that he knew couldn’t last.
He noticed more things that weren’t right. The way she never spoke of the past, the way she dodged certain topics, the way her voice never quite matched his memory. But he ignored it all, because she was here, and that was enough.
Moments slipped away in a blissful haze until finally, she hugged him tight, her arms squeezing him just a little too hard. “I have to go now, Cole.”
“No,” he whispered, gripping her tighter, panic flaring in his chest. “Please, don’t go. Not again.”
But when he opened his eyes, he was in his bed, alone. The room was dark, his heart pounding, and his face was wet with tears. He sat up, gasping for breath, as the reality of it all crashed down on him.
She was gone. She had always been gone.
✯✯✯
Cole wiped at his eyes, but the tears just kept coming, uncontrollable and overwhelming. He wasn’t supposed to cry like this anymore. It had been years, so many years, since she died. He had moved on. He was fine— he was supposed to be fine.
Just then, the door creaked open, and Jay stepped inside. “Dirtclod, breakfast's ready.” His voice was light, casual, but he froze when he saw Cole, sitting there with tears streaming down his face.
“Cole?” Jay’s tone changed immediately, concern threading through it. He moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey, what’s up? You okay?”
Cole tried to speak, but all that came out was a choked sob. He shook his head, trying to pull himself together, but all he could manage was a broken, “Mom.”
Jay’s face softened with understanding. He nodded, not needing any more explanation. “I’ll get some tissues,” he said quietly, and slipped out of the room.
Cole leaned back against the headboard, his mind still spinning.
It wasn’t just the dream. It was the realization that he couldn’t remember her voice, that his memories of her were slipping away, bit by bit.
He had known it for a while, but to be confronted with it so directly… it hurts more than he had ever expected.
Jay returned, pressing a box of tissues into Cole’s hands. He didn’t say anything, just sat beside him, his presence a steady comfort.
Cole wiped at his eyes, trying to stop the tears, but they just kept coming.
“It’s okay,” Jay said softly, his voice steady and reassuring. “You don’t have to hold it in.”
Cole nodded, but the tears didn’t stop. He let them fall, let the grief that he thought he had buried rise to the surface. It was like a dam breaking, and he couldn’t stop it.
After what felt like an eternity, the tears finally slowed, leaving him drained. He leaned back against the pillows, feeling utterly exhausted. Cole then took another tissue, wiping the last of the tears from his face.
“Her birthday’s coming up, isn’t it?” Jay asked after a long pause, his voice gentle.
Cole nodded, swallowing hard. “In two weeks,” he whispered, his voice still shaky. He hadn’t even thought about it, hadn’t realized how close it was until now.
“Do you want to do something for it?” Jay asked, his tone careful.
Cole hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Yeah… I think I do.” He wasn’t sure what, but he wanted to do something. To remember her, to honor her. Even if it hurt, even if it made the grief come flooding back, he wanted to hold on to the memories that he had left.
But he couldn’t shake the fear that soon, there’d be nothing left to hold on to.
❈❈❈
Dreamt about my grandpa again. I was supposed to do this the last time I dreamt of him, but got writer's block, so have this.
(First time I cried while writing a fic)
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clowningaroundmars · 7 months ago
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damnit i thought about Separated At Birth morales twins too hard and now i went and wrote this whole thing about it 😔
pls forgive me.
but also. uh. enjoy lol
- normie au (no powers)
- milo is aaron's adopted child, and he lives with aaron and his gf in their apartment. aaron didn't adopt milo with her tho, milo's actual adopted mom died when he was young unfortunately
- miles is still rio and jeff's son and neither boys know their bio parents. jeff and rio know a bit tho (they still have the adoption agency papers but havent looked thru them in a while). aaron lost the papers and info in a house fire
- jeff and aaron are not brothers in this au. i... havent decided whose last name is whose but yeah
- aaron does sketchy stuff to provide for milo, he does. milo doesn't get involved whatsoever tho, aaron's p overprotective in like a chill way and would never endanger his kid like that. milo doesn't even really know the details. he just knows his dad stays out late working often, and then when he comes home he brings enough moolah back to buy his son an expensive silver wristwatch :)
- the twins do not know that the other exists. like at all. they've always felt like there was smthn missing in their lives tho... like an incomplete puzzle waiting to be finished
- the parents... know? that their kid has a sibling somewhere out there? but the details were left vague when they finally picked up their child and they all kinda assumed the other was just like lost to the World Out There. aaron most def did not concern himself with trying to look for the other child, one was plenty enough for him lol
- the twins discover each other when miles wins the lottery to study at visions and milo is just enrolled str8 up (thank you aaron's money!) but they dont even find each other for the first time at their school. they actually see each other in the windows of passing trains that they're taking in nyc one random day. its a weird dream-like moment for both of them
- milo, once he gets home: hey aaron do i uh have a secret twin somewhere out there or what (half-joking) (but not really) (ahaha) (👁)
- THEN they find out they're both enrolled in visions academy. milo was already p well adjusted by the end of the 1st day but became curious abt this weird nerdy kid everyone seemed to avoid anyhow. when he found out it was the kid with his face at the train station, they both flip out in the hallways!
- (insert spiderman x2 pointing at each other meme here)
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they circle each other a couple of times like dogs meeting in a park, sizing each other up with squinted eyes and knitted brows. miles' mouth was hanging open.
after a bit, they stopped and met eyes, green against brown.
"you... you have got to be kiddin' me," miles breathed. "you look exactly like me!"
milo's eyes are still roaming, pupils bouncing around and scrutinizing his mirror-self standing right in front of him.
after a beat, he spoke slowly, sounding like he was trying to choose his words carefully. "... yeah. yeah, that is weird. you're like me, huh."
miles sucked in a breath. "i-i mean yeah? i guess?"
the bell rang suddenly, cutting the hazy dream-like atmosphere in half like a knife. the boys startled.
"gimme your number," milo demanded quickly, stepping to prop himself up against a wall and move out of the way of the incoming crowd.
miles swallowed and dug around into his pocket hastily, fumbling his phone a bit as he pulled it out.
milo laughed, and it was-- so weird!-- to hear miles' own laugh coming out of another boy that sounded quite a bit like him to begin with. is this what the uncanny valley felt like?
"what?" miles balked self-consciously, swiping over to his contact info.
"you don't already have your own number memorized, dawg?" milo says this with all the confidence in the world, a simple crooked grin and tilt of his head just overflowing with self-assuredness. as if his own self worth really came from within.
miles bit the inside of his cheek and swallowed down the feeling of envy bubbling up into his lungs. "uhhh, no? i literally just got a phone plan like, yesterday." it was hard to keep the judgemental tone out of his voice when he already felt like he had to be on the defensive.
milo's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
"oh," was all he said.
"oh?"
"lemme just give you mine," milo steps closer, eyes constantly roaming and watching the students currently walking around them, like river water being parted by a big stone in the middle of roaring rapids.
he shot off a series of numbers and miles dutifully plugged it into his contacts list. the second that miles tried to save it was when he realized: shit, he did not know this mystery boy's name!
"oh, h-hey, i didn't get your n--" but once he looked up, the kid had already disappeared into a passing wave of students rushing to get to their next classes before the bell rang again.
miles blinked, looking back down at his screen. the phone number that was punched in was the only solid proof that this mysterious interaction even happened at all.
my god. this wasn't a dream...
miles hastily tapped in "twin???" for the contact name and hit "save".
- ganke is the first to hear abt miles having a long-lost sibling, and he gets his ear talked off abt the possibility of that sibling being an identical TWIN!!!!
- milo does not dorm up at visions. miles suggests they move in together the next year but milo's slightly spoiled ass is not very excited abt sleeping in a room the size of his closet. plus, he hates bunk beds
- aaron's kinda loaded so milo's always got the hookup. he always has the flyest fits, latest shoes and coolest equipment. miles is highkey p jealous when he finds out. milo is... actually not very spoiled despite all of this tho! probs bc he's always training in mma, and aaron drills the importance of self-reliance into him often
- aaron and jeff do not like each other At All. for the kids' sakes, jeff doesnt mention that he's actually slapped cuffs on aaron for a small offense before, but yeah. they have beef. aaron is already anti-cop anyways-- probs sitting at a 9 out of 10 on the hater meter-- but after meeting jeff, he's bumped that up to a cool 15
- the twins meeting: YOU!! 😲😳🤯😄
the Dads meeting: YOU. 😠😠😠
- kid swaps are always just the twins going: YEAAAH!! SLEEPOVER!!! :D
meanwhile
jeff: aaron.
aaron: officer davis.
*forced smiles and tense eye contact as they visibly seethe while the twins chatter happily in the bg*
- milo and miles live almost opposite lives, and they're very different. but where they truly connect is with COMICS!! and other assorted nerdy stuff. they watch anime together and swap comics n manga regularly. eventually, miles gets invited along to go to comic con with milo and aaron
- milo usually keeps a cool and collected front around ppl (just like his dad!) but he is most def himself with miles. he devolves into goofy silly shenanigans when they link up
- miles meeting aaron: 🤩 wow milo your dad is so COOOOL!
milo meeting jeff: wow miles. 😬 your dad is a cop. hm.
- jeff and milo eventually learn to get along but milo feels weird abt jeff being not only a cop but also making captain soon since he's been raised on lupe fiasco, NWA and KRS one songs since infancy. milo's household is #ACAB or bust lol
- they both bring up random injuries they had in their lives and try testing the "twin connection" theory. milo randomly hurts himself to see if miles will bring it up (like purposefully giving himself a papercut or smthn). they both p much develop a spider-sense for when their twin gets in trouble too
milo suddenly perks up at the dinner table, homework sheets spread out before him in every direction. he's trying to solve a problem using an equation of motion when he gasps and sits straight up, nearly dropping his pencil.
aaron is still prepping dinner at the counter not 5 feet away. he glances at his son curiously.
"dad," milo says with all the seriousness of a supreme court judge, "miles might be in trouble."
"... huh?" aaron's brow is raised.
not a second later, aaron's cell phone is buzzing where it's propped up on the microwave, pausing the music that was playing on a nearby bluetooth speaker.
MILES flashed across the screen.
aaron wiped his hands on a kitchen rag, gave his son another sidelong glance, and hit "answer".
"u-ugh. aaron?"
this was strange. miles never called him, they usually just exchange quick and courteous texts whenever it was necessary, but never more than that. aaron joked it was a "youngblood" thing, kids these days could never just make a quick and easy phone call.
so he knew it had to be serious if miles was even bothering to not only put in a call, but put in a call to him.
"miles? wassup?" aaron replied, grimacing at the strained tone and small gasps coming in on the other end.
"u-uhm..." miles stalled.
"kid," aaron started, as serious as a heart attack, "is something wrong? you sound like you're hurt."
behind him, milo stands up quickly, homework completely forgotten about.
"... y-you have to promise not to tell my parents first, heh. they'd probably-- ngh-- a ha! they'd probably kill us both if you did."
geez. even when he sounds like he's hurt, miles still manages to get a quip out as casually as he can manage.
aaron is moving towards the coat rack now, and milo's already went ahead to his room to put his shoes on without another word.
aaron's answer is careful. "... we'll talk about that when we get to you. where ya at?"
miles sucks in a breath that hisses through his teeth and from the background aaron thinks he can hear dogs barking in the distance.
"okay, so don't freak out but i might be like... near an abandoned building. i-i think they used to be apartments..."
aaron mentally projects a map of the brooklyn-manhattan area that he knows in his head as he switches to speakerphone. but nothing really comes to mind as he racks his brain for any abandoned apartments that he knew of.
"just send me your location, kid. we'll be there in no time."
miles chuckles gratefully. "th-thanks, aaron..."
- milo and miles are actually p jealous of each other, even tho they'd never admit it out loud (altho miles is awful at hiding his envy lol)
milo is jealous of miles' parents, and how involved and loving they are. not that aaron isn't involved in milo's life, but it's just that his work often gets in the way of actually spending quality time with his son as often, so milo is left alone a lot. they also moved around a lot as well, so he didn't get the chance to become as popular and well-loved on his block like miles did. he doesn't have very many friends.
miles is jealous of milo's freedom and independence, and his seemingly dazzling life. he gets that milo can be p lonely and introverted at times, but he'd kill just to spend a day in his twin's expensive shoes! if only his well-meaning but annoying parents would just hop off his ass about things, maybe then he'd be able to just... spread his wings and fly
- rio and jeff suggest a DNA test to see if milo and miles really are brothers. they scoff at the idea at first ("i mean c'mon, we literally have the same face," milo points out.) but aaron agrees. better to be safe and 100% sure than to have even a hint of a doubt, plus it would be great to have physical proof that they were indeed twins after all.
so they took the test and waited nervously for the results. miles lamented the possibility of them not really actually being the long-lost-sibling they both had. milo would try to reassure him anyways; even if they weren't biologically related, they could just lie and say they were since they looked so similar anyways.
but they got their results in the mail and it was confirmed: they were 100% related!! miles cried. milo cheered with joy and they immediately facetimed each other.
when miles accepted milo's facetime call, his entire screen was suddenly taken up by milo's grinning face unnervingly close to the camera.
laughing and wiping his tears, miles propped his phone up on his desk. "man, you're being weird. back up!"
"oh, am i? am i being weird, bro? brother of mine? brother dearest? broski? boy who is genetically related to me?"
"ahaha! man, quit it. anyways, yeah i got my results too obviously. milo, when i tell you i ran so damn fast after going to the store-- i never ran back home that fast in my life."
"'cause i texted you, right?! your welcoooome!" milo practically hollered right into the phone.
"chill, chill, chill." miles rolled his eyes, still sniffling a bit but grinning just as wide.
sounds of items being pushed off of milo's own drafting table filled the background, and all miles could see for a second was the logo on his brother's hoodie before the camera was finally positioned correctly.
"... okay. okay, hopefully it doesn't fall. okay, cool. so!"
milo then bounces up from his chair and shoots off to go somewhere off-camera. miles can hear papers rummaging for a second before his excitable brother comes and throws himself back on his chair again.
"so, let's read this damn thing together 'cause this is just-- hold up." milo pauses, putting the letter down and squinting at his screen. "are you... were you crying?"
miles sits straight up, hastily swiping at his face. "uh! maybe? so what about it?"
milo laughs, throwing his head back. "aaron!!" he yells, at the top of his lungs.
miles cringes. "bro! what the hell!!" he shouts back.
"miles cried!! he's cryin' just like i said he would! you owe me 30 bucks!" then, milo turns back to his phone, smirking. "anyways!"
miles is shaking his head. "y'all are placing bets on me now? that is foul."
"ahhh well. y'know! nothing against you or anything, nothing personal!" milo has a cheesy, apologetic grin plastered on his face, and then he suddenly gets serious.
"but anyways, miles. c'mon, we gotta read it together, it makes it more real."
"what is this, a whole ritual you had planned or somethin'?"
"dude, humor me. this is a big deal!"
miles bobs his head and laughs. "yes. okay! fine, you start. you can read one paragraph and then i'll do the next,"
and together, they read off the results again, placing emphasis on the final result: a 99.995% likelihood of a full sibling relationship!
"99.995% yooooo!!" milo crowed, pumping a fist in the air.
"so yeah, that's all she wrote," miles sighed contentedly, folding up his piece of paper. "mamí already said she's buying a frame for this so i'm putting this somewhere safe."
then, they sat there together and smiled at each other.
"you know what this means, right?" milo asked suddenly.
"... no. what?"
"we always talked about, like..." milo sighed and leaned back in his chair, screwing his face up in thought. "like. that feeling? y'know, like something or someone was missing in our lives, right?"
miles chuckled. "uhyup, like that one time when i was on a field trip years ago and i randomly reached to hold someone's hand but he wasn't there? before we got all partnered up, obviously."
"and that other time when aaron recorded me when i was like a damn toddler talkin' about 'i need another toy for my friend' at the store once. he insisted it was an imaginary friend that i made up just to get more stuff. but looking back now, i didn't have no imaginary friend... no, i was looking out for you back when i didn't know you even existed..."
"yeah. that's... that is pretty weird."
"well yeah, but now it's not. 'cause we were right. turns out we were right the whole time! and we got scientific proof to prove it!" milo jumped up and ran a quick victory lap around his room, throwing punches into the air as if he were taunting his opponent in the ring.
"ooh, now i see what you mean. these results mean the two pieces are finally put back together, like officially. no more weird empty feelings anymore..."
miles leans back in his own chair, fingers clasped together on his stomach as he thought back to all those times where that strange, tugging feeling kept cropping up in small moments of his life. on field trips, on the playground, at school, on daytime trips with his parents.
and then he thought back to how that aching feeling just vanished after meeting milo. in all of the excitement of meeting a long-lost twin, he didn't even really notice how that longing simply just... went away. he couldn't even remember the last time he felt that specific feeling now.
"exactly, exactly!" milo whooped, before crashing back down into his chair again and jostling his drafting table. his phone fell in the process and he cursed loudly when it clattered onto the floor.
"milo, cool it!" miles cackles, but he feels the same swooping triumphant joy filling his chest nonetheless.
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sirensvcubus · 1 year ago
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Season 5 Daryl
-Last Time
: Y/Ns been in the group since the very beginning, with everyone. She and Daryl bonded looking for Sophia and became close friends but nothing more until one night after a game made up by the group.
Daryl x Y/N
Season 5/ Alexandria
____________________________________
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After a long day on the road hunting and scavenging with our small group, (Rick,Glen, Maggie, Michonne, Carol, and Daryl) sit and male a fire before going back to Alexandria.
“Not much but it’ll do.” Rick said putting another log on.
“Im glad we all got to go out together, Im still not so sure I trust these people in Alexandria.” Carol said.
“Seem pretty docile to me,” Maggie said.
“They haven’t been out there, seen the things we have, who knows how long it will last,” Rick said sitting down on a log beside Carol.
“What should we do until these squirrels cook up.” Daryl said.
“I thought of a game.” Y/N said with a small smile, “Called last time.”
“Your just a beacon of hope aint you” Daryl said chuckling.
“Sounds pretty fitting for the situation, good apocalypse game.”
“Last time and then you say something you haven’t done in a while, like last time I had Pizza… I don’t know something stupid like that.” You said.
“Carl had some with the other kids the other day.” Rick said.
“Anyone else get in on that action.” Michonne said smiling. Nobody replied.
“We got scammed.” Maggie said laughing.
“Last time I had whiskey.” Rick said
“Ew” you replied, “once on my 21 birthday, wasn’t good” Everyone laughed,
“More refined taste I guess.” Rick said smiling.
“Me and Glenn got some on a run, bottle didn’t last long.” We chuckled
“Last time we had sex.” Michonne said.
“Oooh good one,” Carol said.
“Long time ago” Carol smiled.
“About a year ago” Michonne said.
“A few months” Rick added.
“A long long time ago, about three years, how far are we into this damn apocalypse anyway.”
“Almost three years, feels like more time has past.” You said.
“Three years for me too, god I miss it.” You said chuckling.
“Last week” Glen said smirking.
Maggie added “ a few days ago…hahahha got you,” she said looking at Glen “same for me about a week” She continued.
We continued on until the squirrels were done roasting, and made are way back to Alexandria chewing them of sticks causing a few weird glances.
Everyone had dispersed from the one house they slept in the first few nights there, but still some lingered there not completely feeling safe just yet. Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Daryl, Sasha, Carol, and Tara still all slept in the biggest house. Some having there own rooms like Y/N, Daryl, Rick, and Michonne, some sharing, like Sash and Carol, and Judith and Carl. Tara sprawled out on the couch. We all stayed up talking but eventually went to our corners of the house.
You went into your room feeling happy and safe because the comfy bed waiting for you and the fun night you had with the group. But still something felt..incomplete. You were lonely surrounded by people. Thinking back to the game you knew why. It had been three years you missed being touched, and just loved.
You had always had feelings for Daryl, I mean look at his arms, you yearned for him, but out on the road it wasn’t a time to start a confusing relationship; Maybe now is you thought…no no I should just go to bed. You plopped down on the bed tossing and turning unable to sleep.
You hesitantly got up and thought a minute before walking to the door. As you opened it Daryl was right outside. You took a breath and looked at eachother for a minute. Before you knew he lunged at you holding your head into his. You vicously made out and he slammed you against the wall as you kicked the door shut.
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