#it seems like posting original poetry is a thing we do here

[reinedeslys-central]

Lilac buttercream and magic all kinds I want to see you with laughter lines Shadows on the curb and the daily grind I want to see you with laughter lines

-reinedeslys, "laughter lines"

[geopsych]

re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕

there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?

i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3

Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.

I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!

[secretmellowblog]

Hi! From your posts and comments, you know a lot abput the different translations of Les Mis. The one that I have is Wilbour, which I like the most of the ones I’ve encountered, in terms of wording and writing style; are there any issues with it I should be aware of? As people following Les Mis Letters comment on the original French, I’ve noticed a couple things missing, or bits where the translation seems less clear than in some others versions. What are your thoughts on this translation?

Wilbour is a great translation! It's the first English translation of Les Mis, but has many errors because it was published very quickly after the publication of the original novel. The most common criticism I've heard of Wilbour is that it's extremely stodgy and old-fashioned, even compared to Hugo's language; Wilbour often adapts the sentence structure of French very literally in ways that can read awkwardly or not completely correctly in English. But! I've heard he also captures the poetry and feeling of the language better than Hapgood, though, when it comes to 19th century translations. I believe Wilbour was the first translation I read, and if Hapgood weren't the most easily accessible on the Gutenberg it might be my translation of choice! He and Hapgood also cut sentences here and there but don't rise to the level of massive deliberate censorship, the way other 19th century translators like Wraxall do. The only serious error i remember Wilbour making is in Combeferre's speech at the barricade, where he discusses how women are left behind by society. Combeferre says "Women, we are not much given to thinking about them." But Wilbour mistranslates this as "women are not much given to thought" which is the EXACT opposite sentiment to the one Combeferre expresses XD. If you want a "more accurate" version of Wilbour that fixes the errors he made while translating at an unhealthy pace in a time before the internet existed-- the Fahnestock McAfee translation is meant as an updated version of Wilbour that corrects his errors! However, they occasionally "correct" things he didn't get wrong. For example, there's a moment where Javert boasts "I have claws like a woman" but FMA mistranslates it as "you have claws like a woman." Like, FMA is wrong and Wilbour is right there- Javert is just a strange little guy. For a translation comparison: here's a comparison of how various Les Mis translators handle Les Amis's introductory chapter, "A Group Which Barely Missed Becoming Historic!" You can contrast Wilbour with other translators here to see the general way he approaches things in comparison to other translators ^_^.

[cleolinda]

Varney the Vampire: A Preface

I want you to think back to what it’s like to reread your old work from years ago—your old stories or poetry, your old school papers, or even your old tumblr posts. Sometimes you’re actually kind of pleased, sure, but I want you to really go back and locate yourself in the heady cringe of that feeling.

In related news, I'm going to pick back up with the Varney the Vampire recaps I started in late 2010 CE. I got about nine chapters in, and then something, who knows what, derailed my life, as things tend to. Like, I'm used to this, it happens with the regularity of a lunar cycle. But I like writing about vampires (clearly), and since I feel like Dracula has been tread pretty thoroughly in recent times, I figured I might go back to something different; we had some lively discussions about Varney back then.

But 2010 was a time before A Lot of Things happened. I was in my early 30s at that point, so I won't say, "Oh, I was so young," but I had a very different energy as a blogger 12-13 years ago. So I've decided to rewrite the recaps a little—some more than others, some not much at all. I just feel like I have a really different perspective on the first chapter in particular, in 2023.

As before, I'm using the full, unabridged text. It is hideously long, something like 230+ chapters, but go big or go home, I figure. The thing is, I was using the files hosted at the University of Virginia, and now you can only get those through the Wayback Machine, but they are still usable for now. I have various backups saved, but I do want you to be able to see that I am, as ever, Not Making It Up.

I'm also not going to quibble anymore as to whether James Malcolm Rymer or Thomas Peckett Prest wrote this behemoth. Per Wikipedia sources, scholars seem to agree that it was all or mostly Rymer. When it's mentioned that they figured this out based on his dialogue style, I went... yeah, that checks out. Because it sure is A Style, and I'll be honest, the repetitive filler dialogue in chapter 10 was such a speedbump for me that I just threw up my hands and said, "I don't know how to recap this. Something I can't remember now is going on in my life and I Cannot. I no longer Can."

Well, it's the 2020s and we're gonna. Like I can't tell you how much stress I do not have about this. I've had covid three times and also spinal surgery. Varney the Vampire can no longer hurt me.

To start, this ordeal has a preface—apparently written upon the occasion of collecting the serial into book form—wherein The Author expresses his gratitude for "unprecedented success of the romance of Varney the Vampyre." First off, Rymer uses "vampire" and "vampyre" interchangeably, because fuck me for caring about consistency, I guess. Second, as Wikipedia notes,

It first appeared in 1845–1847 as a series of weekly cheap pamphlets of the kind then known as "penny dreadfuls." The author was paid by the typeset line [YEAH, I NOTICED], so when the story was published in book form in 1847, it was of epic length: the original edition ran to 876 double-columned pages and 232 chapters. Altogether it totals nearly 667,000 words.

For comparison, all of Lord of the Rings plus The Hobbit is 576,459 words. I sure do blanch every time I see those numbers! It's fine. We're gonna be fine. Back to the preface:

The following romance is collected from seemingly the most authentic sources, and the Author must leave the question of credibility entirely to his readers, not even thinking that he is peculiarly called upon to express his own opinion upon the subject.

"Seemingly" is doing a lot of work here.

Nothing has been omitted [for real, nothing down to the tiniest fly-swat has been omitted] in the life of the unhappy Varney, which could tend to throw a light upon his most extraordinary career, and the fact of his death just as it is here related, made a great noise at the time through Europe, and is to be found in the public prints for the year 1713.

I've seen more than one Dracula multimedia art project where people recreated the letters and diaries and recordings in the book (have you heard my whole thing about how Dracula actually was a cutting-edge techno-thriller back in 1897?), but I've never heard of anyone creating ARG-style media for the Totally for Actual-Fact Real tale of Sir Francis Varney the Vampire, and I think it would be hilarious if someone did.

I won't belabor the entire preface, but what I do want to touch on is Rymer's mention of "unprecedented success." Varney is actually standing on the shoulders of a vampire giant, and it's not the one we would think of. Nowadays, our big touchstone—the influence so great that most works either evoke it or take the trouble to say "Our vampires are different"—is Dracula, obviously. Which was published exactly 50 years after Varney, in 1897. But Varney's touchstone is Polidori's short story "The Vampyre" (1819). And for most of the 1800s, this was everyone's touchstone. Per Wikipedia (which I'm going to lean on for how concise it is, but I concur with this from my own research as well):

An adaptation appeared in 1820 with Cyprien Bérard's novel Lord Ruthwen ou les Vampires, falsely attributed to Charles Nodier, who himself then wrote his own dramatic version, Le Vampire, a play which had enormous success and sparked a "vampire craze" across Europe. This includes operatic adaptations by Heinrich Marschner (see Der Vampyr) and Peter Josef von Lindpaintner (see Der Vampyr), both published in the same year. Nikolai Gogol, Alexandre Dumas [note: I have the Ruthven play he wrote around here somewhere] and Aleksey Tolstoy all produced vampire tales, and themes in Polidori's tale would continue to influence Bram Stoker's Dracula and eventually the whole vampire genre. Dumas makes explicit reference to Lord Ruthven in The Count of Monte Cristo, going so far as to state that his character "The Comtesse G..." had been personally acquainted with Lord Ruthven. [...]

In England, James Planché's play The Vampire, or The Bride of the Isles was first performed in London in 1820 at the Lyceum Theatre based on Charles Nodier's Le Vampire, which in turn was based on Polidori. Such melodramas were satirised in Ruddigore, by Gilbert and Sullivan (1887); a character called Sir Ruthven must abduct a maiden, or he will die.

Back when no one gave a shit about copyright, Polidori's work was spun out into a cottage industry of knock-off stories and plays, an entire horror zeitgeist. Lord Ruthven was, for 78 years, who you copied, who you riffed on, who you parodied, what Count Dracula is to us now: the archetypal vampire. The Big Guy. And Varney is clearly cut from his cloth—the ostensible gentleman who worms his way into the lives of respectable, unwitting people. Unlike Dracula, there's no foreigner Othering, no "historical basis," no undercurrents of contagion and infection, no ambition to make the world his wine-press, none of that; Ruthven is a simpler figure, but the dominant one of this time no less. He is a stranger who shows up in the middle of London high society, icy and distant, his eyes “dead grey”—stern, yet somehow compelling when he cares to be. And when he cares to be, you're in trouble.

And this is the cultural consciousness when Francis Varney shows up.

[Chapter one will go up sometime this week, March 8-10 or so.]

[misc-obeyme]

Hard Lesson 20. I'm just. What the. Speechless.

Spoilers below!

WHAT WHAT WHAT.

Now, I know we never truly get to know who Raphael is talking to because their name remains "???" the entire time, but really we all know it's Michael, right?

And you are TELLING ME that Michael was the one in the Devildom DISGUISED as Raphael the WHOLE TIME?!?!?!

Also can we just appreciate Raphael for a minute, though?

Pfff. Poor guy. I'm getting pretty fond of him.

Anyway, here are the things I realized:

First - this could be the answer to my double Solomons theory. If Michael can disguise himself as anyone to the point where nobody can tell the difference, maybe it's him that's been pretending to be Solomon all this time? I was originally thinking it was past!Solomon, but maybe it's just been Michael in disguise? On the one hand, it makes sense because Michael knows MC is from the future. On the other hand, though, there's one part of this that doesn't quite make sense to me. While Michael is in the Devildom disguised as Raphael, we have the Solomon who is wearing his casual sorcerer outfit (and later the suit). I have always thought this was our Solomon, the one who came back in time to help us. Which would mean that if Michael has been masquerading as Solomon, he's been doing it in Solomon's human world outfit - the trench coat one. And if that's the case, then it would mean that he was the one who made a pact with Asmo. And that doesn't seem possible. Soooo I don't know. It's an interesting thought, but I'm not sure it actually works.

That being said, it could be an indication of the fact that this is a possibility, though! Like maybe Michael isn't the only one who can disguise himself as other characters. Maybe... if Michael is not Nightbringer... maybe Nightbringer can do that too and he's the one who's been pretending to be Solomon?

Second - speaking of Nightbringer... I had officially crossed Michael off the Might Be Nightbringer list but now I think he's back on it. Because if he can disguise himself like that... I mean, really all bets are off! I don't know if he can only disguise himself as other angels? But if he can disguise himself as anybody then that means he could be interfering in all kinds of different ways. I don't think that's been happening (aside from the Solomon possibility of course), but it does make me question things.

Third - my entire perception of Michael as a character has changed. Back in this post, an anon asked me what I thought his personality might be and obviously I was way off. Because if that truly is Michael behind those ???s, he sounds like way more of a troublemaker than a strict older brother type. He straight up left Raphael in charge of the Celestial Realm so that he could assume his identity and travel to the Devildom to give the brothers that he supposedly still loves and misses an ultimatum that would require them to leave behind one of their own or bring war to their new home. Like. Dude. What the fuck.

So, anon, if you're reading this, I think I was completely wrong lol. I think maybe Michael is more like... a guy who clearly has a lot of power, but never really takes anything too seriously. The way Raphael talked about him saying he runs away and that he's probably just going to fall asleep at the poetry reading... like, clearly he doesn't take anything too seriously at all. And yet he's willing to do some really crazy stuff just to see his old brothers again. We still have very little information, so it's hard to say.

In conclusion, when does the next season start?? Anybody know? I have no idea how much time they used to have in between seasons and I KNOW this one just ended but I need ANSWERS.

I think it might be a while, which is fine I'll just write some fanfics in the meantime, thanks.

[annlillyjose]

Green Room – WIP Intro

hiii cuties!

have you ever been overcome by an irresistible urge to write a memoir at the age of twenty, or are you normal? i'm definitely not, so here's a new project (again)

green room is an experimental memoir that delves into my teenage years as a writer. i started writing seriously at the age of thirteen and self-published my first book at fourteen, which is something that haunts me to date. but here's the thing – i feel like i've learned a lot in the last six to seven years and wanted to explore it with another writing project.

i don't really know what this book is going to be yet. i'm going to start drafting during nanowrimo as a side project and hopefully finish it by the end of the year, but i'm not in a rush. i want to enjoy the process of writing this so i might take my sweet time.

now because this is an intro post, let's get to some specifics.

disclaimer: this is my original work. plagiarism of any kind will not be tolerated.

genre: creative/literary non-fiction

pov: first person retrospective

structure: a combination of chapters, vignettes, and poetry maybe

projected word count: 50k

concept: literary memoir on a writer's journey through teenage as they navigate genre, form, tense, character, story, plot, theme, atmosphere, and setting.

aesthetics/vibes: abandoned art galleries, mountaintops, beaches at midnight, falling asleep on the terrace, coffee mugs, word documents, cute stationery that never gets used, rejection e-mails, daydreaming, moon phases, still rivers, birds flying in groups, rain, academic validation, morally gray people, the colour green

THE ORIGIN STORY

i had always wanted to write something in retrospect of my teenage and document my growth, but didn't want to be so didactic in doing so. the memoir seemed like a serious piece of writing so i didn't really know if i was qualified enough to start. but if i've learned anything about writing in the last few years, it is that you can write whatever you feel like writing. so here i am with a new wip.

a little bit about the title – i struggled with this the most. but the novel i wrote during my late teens (dairy whiskey) was an entirely green book and i found myself finding thousands of green things every single day. my life had turned a shade of green. i was very inspired by the books bluets by maggie nelson and the white book by kan hang. i decided to make the colour green an important aspect of the book.

i don't know how this is going to turn out or if i'm going to do updates for this one, but who knows, i just might. until then, i hope you enjoy my other writing and shitposting. until next time, goodbye.

– ann.

general taglist (ask to be added or removed)

@shaonsim @heartfullkings @vnsmiles @dallonwrites @wannabeauthorclive @sienna-writes @violetpeso @flip-phones @silassghost @ambidextrousarcher @zoe-louvre @writing-with-l @magic-is-something-we-create @femmeniism @frozenstillicide @wizardfromthesea @rose-bookblood @coffeeandcalligraphy @rodentwrites @saltwaterbells @snehithiye @at-thezenith

[esther-dot]

I feel really bad for the originator of the Ashford theory, reading those posts you screencapped. It's not a 'crack theory' (unless they're putting it down because Jonsas took a serious hold of it), since structural foreshadowing is a basic storytelling tool. Hiding poetry in history, which seems a past-time GRRM particularly enjoys--- it's not just there to be there, but to lesson us in reading the past and make us understand the current story more deeply.

We should be confident in our analyses, regardless of whether we share a ship in common (I am do believe in Jonsa, but this goes for everyone), because storytelling can generally be trusted to be intentional. Anybody who wants to act like being incurious is more intellectually justifiable because it's less emotionally fraught is not worth spending time on. It is actually disappointing when stories are not considered and thoughtful (which is not a testament to so-called 'complexity'; The Little Prince is considered and thoughtful)--- fault in reading too much into things usually lay in perspective, less in doubt of substance.

Then again, Originator of Ashord Theory being possessive as claimant probably points more to dismissing it as crack because other people have taken ahold of it in a way they didn't like. If I am perfectly honest, were it not them having noticed it, someone else would have later (and someone else on Reddit did).

It's exactly the sort of thing I look for when I am engaging in a story because it is a tool I see used often. It was what attracted me to Jonsa, not that I was looking for evidence.

(about this ask)

The issue definitely wasn’t a lack of confidence in their own reading, they’re a tumblr BNF! I think Jonsas have written so much about it and so convincingly, it’s become widely viewed as a Jonsa theory and eclipsed the original intent which is their problem with it. Sometime ago someone shared an AltShift video here (a YouTube BNF), and he had included the Ashford Tourney as evidence for Jonsa, so I do think the goal of the blogger now labeling it “crack” is to detract from the Jonsa of it/for shipping reasons, not because they don’t believe in their own work.

As for the broader idea, I certainly agree that pre canon characters and events are written to add depth to the canon events. We can all expect that and look for parallels and contrasts with assurance that they are conversing with each other. It seems to me that every part of the fandom attempts that in some way, we simply come to different conclusions about what those things mean. I can look at something and accept a Jonsa interpretation but also understand, there’s another factor here too. And while I agree that many things are intentional in ASOIAF, I’m also aware that things can subconsciously influence and slip into a work. I recently watched this clip of Spielberg being told, he didn’t recognize this on his own, that he had included his parents love story in a film. Anyone might think, it had to be deliberate, but it wasn’t!

So, not saying anyone should be less confident, I just think it’s good to be aware that after a parallel is recognized, our interpretation of it is where we can all take off in different directions. For example, Jonnel and Sansa is perhaps the most beloved Jonsa foreshadowing (if it isn’t the Ashford Tourney 😅), and I absolutely think it’s groundwork for canon events. The question isn’t if it is, but how. Will it be a parallel, only, the point of the marriage this go around is to right a wrong? Give the girl her home back? (If say, Robb’s Will is recognized). I’ve questioned that simply because it seems like a big task to get everyone on board with Jon being legitimate and becoming their Lord and/or their King only to have them then immediately turn around and all accept he’s actually a Targ and will marry his “sister.” I wouldn’t be mad if that’s what Martin did, but when I think about how much agency he likes to give non POV characters, I’m a little skeptical he’d pull that turnaround off.

So then I think, well, maybe the idea is that unlike Jonnel, Jon will refuse Winterfell again and insist it is Sansa’s again only to ultimately be rewarded in the end by marrying her when she has the power to choose, and she chooses him? People have been very outspoken about how dumb they think the idea of Sansa being QitN is, and maybe that’s too much of a leap for the North because Martin does like his realism, but considering all the female heirs talk going on, Martin is certainly going to say something there, and Jon will have some complicating factors that might make Sansa more favorable to people.

Basically, Jon is a good person, he’ll do right by the Starks, is that the entire point? Look at the way the older generation of men treated women, this generation will be better? Or will Martin use the extraordinary circumstances to benefit Sansa / female heirs? Create an entirely new normal for the North? The story will talk to itself, but what exactly is it saying? That we can endlessly debate!

[shayandwildlifepack]

New intro post, you can see our old intro posts by looking for "intro post" as a tag on our blog.

Hello, this is mainly my fictionkin account for my ockin, Zuki Shay Hara-Lupo. I am a noncanon MHA/BNHA being/creature. You can call me Zuki, Shay, or Lupo, whatever you prefer!

My canon was divergent from the manga and anime. If you want to know more about my canon, send in an ask, or you can see some things on my original intro posts. The only thing I will mention here is that UA was a college instead of a high school, so my class and I were all 18 at the start of the first year at UA.

In this life, the body is currently 19, so keep that in mind. We don't mind minors interacting. Just know I (the host) am more hesitant to interact with minors myself.

We try and make sure our posts are all tagged well, especially for tw or cw, if you see a post of ours that doesn't have a tw or cw that needs to be tagged tagged, then let us know and we'll fix it.

We are alterhuman/nonhuman in more ways in this life and in my (the host) life as Zuki, so that will also be brought up on our account.

We will not answer/post any donation asks if you want to know why you should be able to find the posts we made about it by using the tag "no donation asks." [Had to make this bigger and bold, so hopefully, people will listen]

We will block for any reason. Especially when it comes to hate.

This is an endo safe space. We will not judge systems/plural beings for their origins. If you don't like this, leave.

We are also disabled, both in this life and in my (the host) life as Zuki, so that will also be on our blog. [In this life for all the ones after this]. We are autistic and ADHD for sure. We have a learning disability and depression as well diagnosed. We believe we might have OCD and PTSD but are not sure yet. I know we have some form of anxiety, but it's not diagnosed. We all (alters) experience these disabilities so yeah.

Because of our disabilities, we need a service dog in this life. [I also had one as Zuki]. We will likely post more about the service dog when we finally get our stuff together and do more about it.

We are plural. The terms that seem to fit our origin right now are; quoigenic, unknown, and cryptogenic.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/hx/xe/ze/he + more neos/xenos) | currently a they/it time for my pronouns

Mostly try to bold edits

Edits from Oct 22 to Nov 7: Added tag things, changed words on some tag things, changed parts of the post, added parts to the post, and edited the sign off on the post.

Edit from Nov 8: Edited signoff tag things.

Edit Nov 11: Edited signoff tag things

Tags that are for specific things;

# howling and barking at the moon - poems/poetry

# howling into the past - past life/kin memories good

# barking into the past - past life/kin memories bad

# woof woof reblog - rebloging alterhuman/nonhuman stuff or adding alterhuman/nonhuman stuff in my reblog

# other reblog - rebloging without alterhuman/nonhuman stuff

# confused howling - questioning system/plural stuff, including origin and alters

# disabled pup - disability things

# meowing in confusion - idk this is just for when I am confused about something

# little pup - sfw age regression things when pup is used to refer to me

# little kitten - sfw age regression things when kitten/kit is used to refer to me

# howling barking and meowing - talking about stuff tag, idk lol

# tri beta noises sfw - sfw misceverse stuff

# tri beta noises nsfw - nsfw misceverse stuff

# multi noises - system/plural things

# multi reblog - system/plural reblogs

# 💚🩵🐾🪶 - Shay/Zuki Shay Lupo | host and MHA/BNHA kin put together, lol

# 🌊🔷️🌟🎨 - Lakey | alter

# 😺🤎🍓🥓 - Declan (The cat face changes based on mood of post) | alter

# 🐈🐈‍⬛🍗🥛 - Lynix | alter

# 🐺🦾🦿🤖 - Oynx Afton (the middle two are supposed to just represent animatronic shit) | no idea whether this is a kin or an alter, lol

# 🟤🐺🐾🌕 - Phalen Lupe (supposed to represent werecanine/werewolf) | either kin or alter

# 🗣💚🦮🥦 - Shirley | alter

# 🐺🌠😇😈 - Vesper Lucian (supposed to represent fallen angel) | now we are kinda thinking this is an alter

# 🩵🦴🐾🪽 - Cyan Lupo | RWBY kin

# ❓️⁉️❔️🤔 - ? (don't know who the fuck this person is, think they are an alter though?)

# 💬🗣❓️❔️- When confused who is fronting

[perpetualexistence]

Sea Monster AU: Poor Unfortunate Soul (1/2)

'What's with the 1/2 in the title, that's new' you might be asking yourself. You see, this part right here was actually originally supposed to be just one Then, I realized I'd need to split it into two, 'Poor Unfortunate Soul', and the next part I'm not spoiling the title of yet.

Then I started going into this, looked at the time, looked at the word count, and realized it's for the best if I just split this up once more. Future Perp might end up renaming this chapter as the title definitely fits more for the second part than it does this one. Time will tell.

Either way, before we get to the post proper: Warnings! Oh boy have we got them for this part and the next!

Content warnings: Non-suicidal self harm, Body horror

Since the content warnings happen as part of a scene like rather than a brief mention, I've separated the more gruesome bits with asterisks. You can look all the way down at the bottom for a safer summary.

<- Prev | First | Next ->

Now that Noah has a book on magic, he has to deal with the problem that Chris could never get past: actually reading it. It's not in any language that Noah can recognize. Still, he's smart and can recognize patterns in text thanks to his poetry phase. He manages to work out the basic alphabet. Now that he's got that, his next step is simple. Create a program that will translate the text as he scans it. He'll get to save so much time, and might even be able to get what he wants faster as he can just search for whatever seems most promising.

The book snaps shut the first time. Noah can't excuse it as the wind when it happens again. After a few attempts, he finally manages to get a good scan of one of the pages.

One waterlogged phone later he realizes why there weren't any references for how to actually use magic on the sea monster database.

Magic really doesn't like cheaters.

So instead he has to translate everything himself using the alphabet he figured out. It gets easier as he keeps doing it, and eventually he no longer needs to look at his reference sheet in order to read it.

Before that can happen, he needs a new phone. Both because he's a young adult addicted to having a screen with him at all times, and because without one he won't be able to talk to Owen, who is currently one of the few things reminding him that there's some good in humanity, and that all of this pain is going to be worth it.

He doesn't have any disposable income. Yes, he has some of the treasures that Alejandro gave him from the ships they hunted. But the problem is actually selling those. Now that people are noticing the disappearances (thanks Alejandro), he can't exactly sell anything identifiable from those very ships that have 'gone missing'. His lazy ass had just sat on them assuming that he could sell them whenever he pleased.

Present Noah would slap Past Noah if he could.

So he goes to his mother to ask for a new phone. Which is a task in itself given her multiple jobs. He'd text her, but that's part of the problem. He'd also prefer not to get his older siblings involved because they'd just ask questions. The one good thing about having an overworked mother is that she rarely questions why you want things, and as the baby you can exploit this to its maximum potential!

Noah's a terrible son.

He'll make it up to her when he actually does manage to sell off his stolen goods. Like a criminal. Which he is. As an accessory to murder. Multiple counts.

He can either think about this too hard or he can have a new phone.

So he manages to track her down and asks her for a new phone. He doesn't ask for anything fancy, just something that works. She looked at him, gave him an all too familiar rueful smile, and told him they don't have the money right now, though he can try using one of his siblings' older phones.

Noah's not too surprised by this answer. Living as they are, it's always a gamble for when they do have spare cash. What does concern him is the look in her eyes of someone who doesn't want to burden others. Not just the burden of saying no.

The burden of hiding something. And there's only one things he's ever tried to hide from him. The loan shark's back.

He does this every once in a while. Usually when they're getting too close to fully paying him off. He'll hike up the interest rate or make up some bullshit fee. He'll expect a big immediate payment, and then lay off for a while until he's ready to wring them by the neck again.

He'd have pushed the bastard directly into Alejandro's mouth himself if he wasn't so good at covering where he was. The fact that he's in town means he's going to stay a while. There's no telling when he'll move out, or if he'll even do it by boat.

That's a problem for another time, as much as he loathes to leave it hanging. He's got to get more money from somewhere else. Not just for the phone now, but to get the loan shark off his family's back again.

Noah remembers Duncan. The guy made his reputation as a delinquent known just from the five seconds he got to know him, and spoke about going to juvie. It'd be a risk, but Noah's running low on options. He's not about to watch his mom work herself ragged again.

He gets in touch with him Duncan via Owen. After assuring Owen that no, he's not dead because it's been two full days since he texted, no he's not mad at him either, he just dropped his phone in some water. Luckily for him, Owen's willing to help the two meet without asking too many questions.

Duncan, meanwhile, has plenty of questions. First of all, who Noah thinks he is just asking for Duncan to fence stolen goods for him. Second of all where someone like Noah would even GET stolen goods. Noah lets him know that he can either have answers to those questions, or he can get a profitable cut. Duncan begrudgingly agrees (which has nothing to do with the fact that Noah accidentally lets slip why he needs the money, and Duncan's still got a bleeding heart).

Noah starts with just enough money for a new phone. He can't just dump everything onto Duncan, because then his curiosity/suspicion would definitely outweigh his willingness to help Noah.

Now that all of that is settled, he can finally get back to translating and studying magic.

He learns that in order to use magic, he needs proper tools to do so. And he can't simply buy these tools. No, for the magic to work properly, Noah needs to make these tools. The making imbues them with his essence and makes it so the tools will only ever work for him. Since he's working with sea magic, he's got to use it from materials he finds underwater.

The only place underwater he can safely look without Alejandro catching on is an underground cove he found connected to Chef and Chris's place. Which limits his options severely. So he decides to keep on reading for the actual spells to see what he'd actually need before figuring out how much of a migraine he's going to have.

One thing he notices rather quickly is that all of these spells must be prepared and performed underwater. This part wouldn't be a problem if not for the fact that unlike merfolk, Noah does need oxygen. So solving that problem takes priority.

He finds that solution in a ritual that will give him gills. However, it presents him with a choice. For there's two different branches of magic: the slower, safer process and the faster, more painful process. In this case, Noah can either take the time and effort needed to gather ingredients for a potion that will give him gills that he can open and close at will...or he can make himself a permanent set of gills.

Noah would love to pick the first one. But the longer he takes, the more Alejandro will eat, and the longer he stays a threat. So the second option it is. He starts wearing a scarf and uses the perpetually cold lie. Mostly for Alejandro's sake. Which is good because Alejandro does 'playfully' remove the scarf to see what's underneath the first time he sees it, and once satisfied that there's nothing, doesn't mess with it like that again.

Now Noah needs a knife of coral. Noah's lucky that the new cove he's in has agatized coral. With it being fossilized, it's old and has more of a connection with nature, making it a perfect magic implement. Noah's able to get pieces out, but now he has to make a knife out of it.

Who better to ask but the resident knife expert?

Noah does need a more reasonable excuse for this one, so he pretends that he only needs to learn how to make a knife due to self defense because he's getting paranoid with all the disappearances. Duncan points out that that's bullshit because Noah could just buy a knife then. Why the hell does he need to learn how to make one?

Duncan's asking too many questions, so Noah throws his hail mary. If Duncan can stop asking questions about pretty much any of Noah reasons and helps him out with learning how to make a knife and maybe a few other things, he'll use his hacking abilities to get rid of Duncan's criminal record. That's an offer Duncan simply can't refuse. So Duncan agrees to teach him, and over time, Noah crafts his knife of coral. He adds the runes that he needs to enchant it by himself. Both because that's meant to be a private affair, and so Duncan doesn't say anything despite his bought silence.

Now to actually do this.

***

Noah gets all the underwater runes and preparations done one dive at a time. He also makes sure to get makeshift medical supplies for himself. He's doing this as close to the surface as he can in case everything goes to shit. He'd prefer not to bleed out.

He stares at the knife in his hands. He's actually going through with this, isn't he? No going back. There will be permanent evidence that he's taking a stand against Alejandro if he finds it. The whole 'sea monster vs. sea witch' conflict he'd read about doesn't promise anything good when Alejandro realizes he's using magic.

He could seriously screw himself up. He's a genius, but he's no medical expert. One wrong cut and it's lights out forever. One wrong move and he's fish food either way. He's come so far, he can't afford to let himself get choked up now.

He slices the right side of his neck before he can let himself doubt any more. He's unable to stifle a yell of pain. He loses precious oxygen when he's just started. He has to finish or else this won't work.

He slices the left side of his neck to keep it balanced. More oxygen lost. Now that he's cut both sides of his neck, he can feel the cuts throbbing. It feels like the cuts are burrowing themselves deeper than he made them. They are creating new passageways into his lungs and they burn.

His instincts kick in and he begins to swim for the surface. The runes he set forth earlier start to glow and he finds himself unable to move far from the spot he started in. He's holding his breath in for as long as he can. There are more cuts to be made but he wants to pass out now. But he can't. He has to keep going.

It's when he starts making the second cut on the right side of his neck that he feels his first set of gills go from a burrowing sensation to a throbbing one. He's about to pass out, but it should be safe now. He just needs to breathe.

It's a battle of sheer will over his instincts to force himself to breathe in while underwater. He feels water go in through his gills yet not through his throat like an injection. It is shoddy and feels like when Noah is so congested he can only breathe through one nostril. That would likely be why he needs three pairs of gills total.

***

With at least enough air not to die, he forces himself to finish the ritual. By the end, he's underwater, breathing in and out. It's no longer panicked as he forces himself to take nice deep breaths. He has to pinch his nose shut to stop himself from instinctively breathing through it when underwater. He'll either stay here or keep coming down until breathing underwater comes more nautrally.

He still can't believe he's even thinking that. He's actually breathing underwater. He did magic. It can be done. This crazy, stupid plan of his might actually be doable.

It's a start.

[Safe for work summary: Through a lot of pain, Noah manages to make himself a working set of gills.]

[reinedeslys-central]

Help me The escapism is wearing off, I think it's not working anymore And I can't just Take a bigger dose I don't know how

And the only real way I know To put my anger to rest Is to put it in prose I know It means nothing It means nothing, I know. If that future dares to look down upon me and use all those names reserved To belittle pain and sadness Should they become bitter and jaded too much To respect empathy and self love I will smite them from the sky, from the resting place of souls I dare you to fight for me. I dare you to keep me whole. - reinedeslys, "of souls"

[smaller-comfort]

AHHHHHHHHH oh my god how is it over 6000 words what the hell.

This fought me so hard, but it more or less ended up where I wanted it. Resh'an gets to be a little bit weird sometimes, as a treat.

Notes below the cut.

Posting this story as a chaptered work instead of a one shot probably made the whole thing seem a lot cooler and more mysterious than it actually ended up being.

I hope the reveal is satisfying, but I honestly can't tell anymore! My google doc clocks in at nearly 10k words. It's an absolute mess.

Ultimately both Resh'an and Aephorul make stupid mistakes, frequently. We just see the aftermath of Aephorul's fuckups more often in the game. Sure, they're basically gods, but Resh'an can't even remember that he stuck a cork in his hat on a good day. Aephorul's first response to any minor inconvenience is to murder something. They are terrible at this.

I cut a whole lot of stuff about Aephorul wanting to be human again. There's an epilogue scene that I didn't write where he dismantles his lab- the world eater he was keeping dormant there primarily served as a power source. He drains off all the energy of those devoured souls and uses it to transform himself back into the body he remembers having when he was alive.

It only lasts for a few minutes, and every second is agonizing. The price of inmortality: he can never get back what he lost. He'll destroy the universe trying, though.

Originally Resh'an was a lot more of an asshole- or rather, Aephorul perceived him as being more of an asshole- and that's partly what I was struggling with in writing this chapter.

I considered leaning into the time loop shenanigans and including all of the stuff that I cut as one of the other 26 iterations that Resh'an experienced. That felt excessive, though.

Resh'an was definitely lying at least a little when he said he didn't remember much of the times when he wasn't lucid.

I keep making accidental locked tomb references. I swear I don't mean to.

"If we're awful together, I can't even imagine how much worse we'd be on our own." Still probably my favorite line, although the one about laboratory precautions in the third chapter makes me laugh a lot. Their bickering is a lot of fun.

Resh'an's ears aren't the only thing Aephorul pierced when they were younger. (It was his nipples. Aephorul absolutely pierced Resh'an's nipples.) (His were already pierced when they met.) (It's my sexy AU, okay, I can do what I want.)

Resh'an's terrible poetry:

Hang my heart in the sky

And see it outshine the sun

For love of you

Am I more embarrassed by this than any of these characters ever could be? 💯 That's where the series name comes from, anyway.

These guys have invented sex acts that are probably illegal in at least three separate worlds. Of course Resh'an thinks being dismembered is sexy, he's got the depression. I don't fucking know.

At some point I'm going to end up writing skullfucking and it's going to be like the assassin's creed stump fucking kinkmeme fill all over again.

I am so, so sorry I just wrote that sentence!

I will probably post some of those cut sections here tomorrow.

[catboy-jaebeom]

this shapeshifting vessel is a lie

it's been a year already since my last pinned, and I got shadowbanned exactly around that time back then because of course I did, so here's a new one 🩷

I'm Autumn, but you can call me Faon as well. my pronouns are they/ them. ticked all the boxes on the queer registration form, and I'm currently in a queerplatonic poly relationship. I was born in '95. central european & white. future linguistics student. proud plant parent. kpop fan. I really adore vampires and I write original and fan fiction, as well as poetry. I speak english and german, and I'm studying french, japanese, korean and finnish. lover of bats, snakes, horsies, deer and cats, as well as sharks. I sometimes make cat ear edits and vampire edits of idols and actors ( see: my icon ) so if you want me to make one for you, you can DM me.

my interests and hyperfixations change over time — yes, it was a phase, mum! name a constant state of being, mum! — and I change my username every two years, round about. currently I'm really into the quantum leap spin-off, live action one piece show, and I'm watching a couple of kdramas and such at the side. I play baldur's gate 3, vampyr and control, but also 2064: read only memories.

I was very active in the shadowhunters and the dragon age as well as the james bond / 00q fandoms, and I will reblog every single gif of spirit - stallion of the cimarron, it's my childhood movie. also, Jin Oshiro from STRAY (2019) deserved better, thank you. you may know me as leafmiilk, taehdenveri, fliederfuchs or thetevinterelf.

this blog of mine was created in 2012, I was on here already when you could still count on the superwholock people to throw gifs at posts although I was never one of them, which, trust me, was a hilarious feeling in hindsight asjfjahajft. I have one sideblog worthy of note @splittergheist which is my writing blog, and I have a secret sideblog for my omegaverse / miscecanis stuff ( much more the lifestyle, world building and concept than the smut and stuff, I'll be honest, but no hate at all!! ) that I might give out if someone asks nicely and privately.

that said, I tag my posts extensively, and if you ask politely, I will try and tag specific things for you too! please be nice in my inbox or I'll simply delete your ask and block you. 🦈 oftentimes I will message you privately when you've sent me an ask that doesn't seem to be an ask game or such! and while I do post stuff for tag games I'm not a fan of tagging others unless we're, like, really close, sorry ><

relevant kpop stuff can be found under the tag. I also put some "reviews" written by mutuals about my blog there, thank you everyone, you're lovely 💚🌼

and thank you everyone else for reading this, may your days be bright I think we all could need that at the moment. I would super love new people to talk to ( please have your age / some approximate of it in your bio; I'm totally fine with talking to minors but I would like to know I am before I do, thank u ) so message me or reply to this!

kpop stuff

ult group: GOT7

other groups I like: NCT 127, WayV, Red Velvet, ITZY, Seventeen, SHINee, ONEUS; ...

soloists I like: XIA / Kim Junsu, Taemin

biases: Lim Jaebeom & Choi Youngjae; Nakamoto Yuta; Xiaojun; Kang Seulgi; Hwang Yeji; Joshua Hong & Lee Seokmin; Choi Minho & Taemin; Kim Leedo & Lee Seoho; Park Seonghwa & Jeong Yunho; Kanemoto Yoshi; ...

wreckers: Mark Tuan & Kim Yugyeom; Ten Lee; Kim Mingyu & Lee Woozi; Kang Yeosang & Song Mingi; ...

for as long as xitter still lives, you can find my kpop account under: jaebueomgi

blog reviews

@meant-to-be-a-hero wrote on 22nd November:

Shall I compare Autumn's blog to a summer's day? I shall not, because I am not a hack. Equal parts language jokes, kpop boys (and girls, but I don't look at those) and #bitter millennial blogging, there's something for everyone here at Autumn's blog. They are also one of the few people who still write funky things in the tags, a true dying breed on Tumblr. I feel like I'm reviewing a restaurant or something. Either way, click follow, thank me later, because you will. It's a good blog, Bront.

— ★★★★★(★★) [ 7 out of 5 ]

@klutenpetter wrote on 22nd November:

It seems I have misplaced the URL of the blog in question that I was supposed to review.

— ★★★★★ [ 5 out of 5 ]

[castlebyersafterdark]

lpsg anon here. so generalising massively, i can only assume the forum is mainly men considering the way the language was so direct compared to tumblr, mainly women (sorry vinny). it was objective but almost not objectifying, because it came from this place of self acceptance? i sort of understood how men dont consider their objectifying of women to be such, because it comes so naturally as a factual thought process. 'he is hot - fact' etc. whereas women, ya know, have more to protect and uphold reputation wise sadly.

i kind of liked their freedom, but it certainly made for more boring reading compared to the horny poetry we have here haha. re: noah, as you asked, it was just one mention, they were talking about a recent pic of finn (lots of the same ones as shared here!) and saying he's got long arms and they wonder what else is long (really, men? really? such a cliche lol), and then one person asked if he's been in any romantic links lately, another said he's been single for ages and some trash about elsie (at this point i could no longer believe it was all men cos this is the exact style of tumblr girl gossip lol), and then one of them said something about him being linked to noah cos of shipping. the idea of shipping being mentioned on a forum like this really throws me, is that ignorant of me? but honestly the whole thing was like the gossipthings blog but less anxious hahaha

like they said something, others were like 'oh ok' and then they moved on and continued thirsting. so much more chill than here hahaha

You were the original anon that sparked the nonsense and madness last night and you got buried under my inbox avalanche!!

I do think the demographic is mostly men, though it seems there are some women there, and even certain sections catered to them as well - there's a whole subcategory section called "Ask A" and fill in the blank with gender/sexuality. But otherwise - yeah. Which is often the stereotyped case when the site in questions leans heavily into sex and prn. Even if formatted primarily to a forum threads set-up.

No offense taken, I've spoken about my love of fandom culture and comfort I've always found on this side of fandom compared to the other options out there (although - I recently looked through some articles on tumblr stats/demographics and it seems like the gender divide is split pretty evenly? Interesting). I like tumblr/creative based fandom more. With the posts and fic and art. It seems as a young boy, I had two paths in front of me as a nerd / fanboy: Youtube video essay vlogging or tumblr for fanart and gifsets and fic writing 🤣 Doesn't it feel so silly that way sometimes? (Though, I was also a Reddit bro for a long while as well). But I recognize that there is a female-heavy side to certain spaces in fandom and it's amiss to not acknowledge it. I've loved it. Not really ever phased but who's chilling around me only. Off topic!

I see your points, interesting observations. I'll admit, it's fun getting swept up in the off the cuff statements on a site like that. Reeeeking of cliches, so very heavily. The repetitive and obvious questions like men, men!! Men, are you kidding me? Don't you have anything else to say other than "I wonder how big he is? Cut or uncut? What type of underwear does he wear?" Gentlemen. Put those horny minds to work!! I get that there's likely a lack of blood-flow happening to your brain but get it together! Be more interesting!

I tend to find myself... well, wanting to think at least I'm more of a champion for the poetic side. I think that's probably true. I prefer my horny posting with a twist of romanticism to be honest and if that makes me sound pretentious I'm not mad about it!

It was really interesting to read at least in a comparison sake to the spicy blogs around here. Very different vibes. I absolutely love our analytical thirsting to be quite honest.

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 5 of Harrow the Ninth

Another broken memory, with the broken skull, in the third person, of a scene from Gideon the Ninth but involving Ortus instead. I went back to this scene in Gideon briefly so that I could compare

So here is where the "necro suitcase" comment is clarified, I see

In the original scene, she didn't do this (the sitting on dirt thing). Gideon mentioned that it's something that necromancers in the stories she read did, but Harrow didn't do it for whatever reason

Gideon originally just mentioned that the planet had a lot of water, and was mainly interested in the fact that it wasn't frozen or boiled away, but Harrow here is saying that all she can see is water, and Canaan House. I guess it's possible that Canaan House is somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but what if this is something like what happened in Homestuck where future Earth became a waterworld that was entirely ocean? I guess it might explain why there aren't people living there, and why no one has wood or paper anymore, but like, there are people in this universe living on Pluto and Mercury, I'm sure they could figure out how to support a decent population on a planet that is 100% ocean, too

In the original scene, Harrow said the planet was a tomb, but there's nothing in the narrative here to explain why she thought that, and she doesn't say that this time around

I honestly don't know what Ortus did mean by "bone frenzy" here, unless it just meant blood lust or something, and how he thinks it related to Harrow's schizophrenia, and how Harrow thinks it could be misinterpreted, but interpreting poetry has never been something I've been good at. Is Mattias Nonius, and Ortus's epic poem about him, going to become more relevant in these Ortus-related memories?

Ok, this is funny, because I was 35 myself four years ago, and definitely did not feel this way about it, and actually still don't, living forever still seems pretty cool to me, modulo situations like Cytherea's and the whole thing where the Lyctors are being eternally pursued by Resurrection Beasts. Given that neither of them know about those things in context of this broken memory, I think this might just be Ortus, personally

She did talk to the pilot at this point in the original scene. But here we get a cryptic note that only Harrow can see:

I have no idea what this means, but I'm reminded of Cytherea's "you lied to us" message at the end of Gideon the Ninth. This therefore seems like the person who said, or wrote this was probably a Lyctor, and someone else's thoughts or memories or whatever are getting mixed up with these broken memories. I'm curious now if these broken memories were just a side effect of Harrow's Work, or if they were specifically intentionally rewritten as a separate step, or if they are just Harrow's imagination trying to fill in the gaps of memories or pieces of memories that are just gone now. If they were specifically rewritten, I'm guessing something about how that was done injected this message in here, but if it's just post-Work Harrow's imagination, this might be something that she heard someone say at some other time and then forgot about

In the original scene, Harrow offers Gideon a veil to shield her eyes and Gideon puts on sunglasses instead. Here this scene ends without Ortus covering his eyes at all, or Harrow worrying about him, which is sort of interesting

[survival-of-the-chillest]

Howdy!

10/?/24 Original text in white

12/12/24 im making edits/updates to this in blue

Ive been on tumblr since 2012 but this is a new blog specifically for my current health journey.

Im honestly not a fan of tumblr much anymore or the internet in general. I really enjoyed going out and doing things in person until my body decided to stop functioning. I’m hoping to revamp my love of tumblr and be able to socialize from my bed.

Here are some things about me:

I am in my mid 20’s but typically get along well with people older than me

im transmasc/ non-binary /who cares? Is femboy a gender?

Im the fruitiest person you will ever meet

Im married but also polyam

Neurodivergent af Autistic AF actually according to my therapists new discovery 😅

I am on EST time

I was raised Jewish and am still vaguely jewish but also kindof witchy. I AM NOT A ZIONIST LET ME MAKE THAT CLEAR. That shit is FUCKED.

I am diagnosed with too many mental health issues to list tbh but most recently i was diagnosed with Depersonalization Disorder which i feel encompasses all my things. I might also have other dissociative things happening apparently. Working on figuring that out

I am diagnosed with gastroparesis but its comorbid to an unknown autoimmune disease that we cant seem to figure out They figured it out (sortof)! I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that was triggered by a virus. Im officially diagnosed with Chronic EBV ( EBV=mono) because they are %99 sure thats the virus that did it according to my symptoms and way too many antibodies in my bloodwork but i have my suspicions and am trying to get a second opinion before i say %100

I was previously living on my own but now live back with my parents which has been ROUGH Its getting alot rougher and trying to apply to subsidized housing

I was raised in a conservative family in a semi-rural area where I was one of the only people of color that i knew of so my entire cultural identity has been pretty whitewashed and i hold alot of trauma about it

I was formerly an aspiring art teacher and was teaching as an assistant teacher for kindergartners. It was something I really loved until i had to resign due to my health

Hobbies/interests

ART! what kind of art? ALL OF IT!

crafts ( yes different from art in my head)

Thrifting

I collect y2k nostalgia toys (mostly furbys and carebears but my collection is honestly so huge at this point i have alot)

Cozy video games but only whatever im currently fixated on

Social card games (think CAH except not CAH , i don’t like that one after playing it 5 billion times)

Plushies

Poetry ( pls ask to read them 👉🏻👈🏻)

The Twilight Saga but in a meme way (yes im a TSP ratty🐀 iykyk)

The office

Kirby but also any cute Nintendo character tbh

Things i will be posting

Chronic illness rants and vents

Chronic illness memes

i like to make mood boards alot ( if you send me your diagnosis or any type of theme i will probably say yes)

General inquiries such as “has anyone else had this shit happen?”

Positive updates when i find things that work

Updates on my latest “stuck at home” projects

Original poetry and artwork about chronic illness/pain

Quotes i relate to as a disabled person ( will credit)

Things that will not be happening

I wont be making a DNI list , im a leftist please use common sense

Please no minors, no offence im just old

I DO NOT subscribe to what I like to call “tumblr brain rot” let me explain!

I see alot of division on here that usually comes down to two different groups of people who use identities that aren’t “typical” and people who gatekeep a community and hate anyone who doesn’t align to their way of thinking. I WILL NOT be choosing sides in any of these arguments. I think that people should identify with whatever they want . I do not care how niche it is. HOWEVER, i am horrified by some of the commentary from people with niche identities that expect others to immediately understand that identity without giving anyone a chance to understand. Nobody can ever learn to accept something you wont help them understand. I am also a firm believer that people can change and grow. Canceling someone for unforgivable behavior is one thing. Canceling someone for an honest mistake gives me the ick. Please ask yourself “ is this a pattern of behavior or something they are working on?” before making a call out post. In fact maybe we shouldn’t make call out posts about people unless they are genuinely dangerous. If its discourse exclusive to tumblr please just keep me out of it.

Activism!

Yes! If youve made it this far then you know that beyond tumblr there are BIG problems out there that internet discourse unfortunately will not solve. Im a huge follower of many activist movements but here are the ones i most interact with.

Trans rights , especially the rights of trans children and destroying the stigma around trans people being inherently sexual and dangerous to children. ( as a former trans teacher who has been thoroughly harrassed even though i was excellent at my job i have had a bone to pick with these shitheads)

Queer/POC intersectionality , i often go to panels and discussions on this matter because it is deeply personal to me as a person of color with blue hair and pronouns. I have been made fun of all my life for not conforming to Hispanic stereotypes and doing things people consider “white liberal culture”. Fun fact: not all trans people look the same.

Disability rights but also Autism Acceptance, my wife is autistic and im adhd and also physically disabled. PEOPLE DESERVE ACCOMMODATIONS. Being in a relationship with an autistic person for many years has made me very very pissed on thier behalf and on behalf of anyone who functions differently. News flash: everyone deserves to have thier needs met and that includes needs you dont understand.

recently started going to a-lot of events for Palestine. Doing a-lot of more vaguely human rights activism because im fucking exhausted with being part of like 5-6 different minorities and the new BULLSHIT in the USA. The human rights work is focused around Palestine currently for obvious reasons

I will gladly attend pretty much ANY virtual event/meeting to support these causes. I am always available to speak on my personal experience or assist with public speaking. If its an in-person event please DM me to discuss if it’s possible for me physically and logistically. ( pls note that altho i do not support isreal that the events in Palestine really hit a rough spot for me mentally because my jewish family members gosupersayan if they catch me supporting Palestine. Sometimes im in the headspace for it but other times its really triggering to remember that ive been disowned by most of my family for it) Yeah i fucking snapped in like mid November and have been going feral with the Palestine Activism. Done caring about what my toxic ass family members say

This is getting really long so im going to stop but im very extroverted so plz ask me things i need social interaction. Im actually starting to go a lil crazy from social isolation so please! I used to teach underprivileged children and i need people to care for or i’m going to perish. *taps hood of car* this puppy can hold so many energy for giving emotional support. Im very wise and good at advice. Bout to make a resume for friends 😭

[wyrmfedgrave]

Pics: Just a small sampling of H. P. Lovecraft's influence on popular world culture...

1. There's stores now that only sell Lovecraftiana!! This is as amazing as the 1st stores that sold comics & related paraphernalia alone...

2. This would make for a great paper head on your personal website...

3 thru 5. Here we see the effects of more modern culture on Lovecraft's own ideas. An unholy melding of humor, madness & the commercial realms of the Peanuts, a now free Disney rat & (fittingly) sea monkeys!!

6. This 1 is a new ad - but, is it real?! Or, just another fever dream?!! I can't tell...

7. The long time coming - strange eons? - meld between the Great Old One & Victorian retro-stylings. Hoping for more to come...

Like say, an 'armed' (Heh) Cthulhu Pirate-King!!

Make it so...

8. Finally, the finality of the human race is on!

But, is it so?

Remember, everyone who can hear or even know about the Lovecraftian Truth of Reality... Goes Mad!!

So, I wouldn't be too quick to accept some mad dude's tale... There's no telling what's in his brain stem.

Remember, the original story was that we'd become 'like' the Great Old Ones! Free to know 'beyond' Good & Evil.

If that 'fate' has changed - then, any future possibility is possible...

1914: "End of the Jackson War."

Intro: When writing of HPL, writers use letters, essays & biographies about him. Even his stories can tell us much about his innermost being.

Taken together, this mass of info make Howard 1 of the most well documented fellows ever!

There seems to be few periods that we don't know something about Lovecraft's life.

Even during the "Lost Time" of HPL's retreat from society - as new info is always been discovered...

Researchers now know what books Lovecraft read, who he was with & what they spoke about.

They even know what flavor of ice cream Howard was eating & when!

A good example is how HPL never mentions James Dwyer's "City of the Unseen" published in the Argosy mag of December 1913.

It's not a good story, but, not only did Lovecraft read it, it's central image¹ reappeared in HPL's own later works.

We know Howard owned a copy of it, because this issue contains the 1st return volley in the weird Lovecraft/ Fred Jackson Letter War.

Which HPL had originally instigated in the earlier September 1913 issue of Argosy.

But, all things must pass...

In the end, Lovecraft wrote his War's epitaph. And he didn't use overlong or overblown language!

But, he did sneak in some martial terms...

Work: "Pray spare an inch or two², (to) print (these) critics's joint adieu."

"So long... since we began (this) fray, That readers swear we've (stolen) your Log³ away!"

"Forgive... sinners that presume. To fill with... verse⁴, such precious room."

"Inflamed by war & in... martial rage, We held awhile the center... stage."

"Til, blinded by... (such) furious fire, We battled on, forgetting to retire."

"But, (even) feuds draw... to their ends & foe(s) live to meet as friends:"

"So do we now... in lasting peace, Lay down our pens & slander(s) cease."

"What sound is this? ...A joyous yell, As we say farewell."

Notes:

1. Dwyer's "City of the Unseen" is a Lost Race story about an ancient city in the Arabian "Empty Quarter"!!

This sounds a lot like Howard's Irem! The City of Pillars that was swallowed by the sands of Araby!!

It was the lost city mentioned in the holy Koran... And, it might have been found - thru spy satellite footage!

2. This is about the measurement of column space given over to stories, pics & letters in newspapers, mags, etc...

In some cases, stories had to be cut in length, summarized or re-edited to fit the available space.

At the worst, the affected story would be 'saved' for later publication...

3. The "Log" was probably the name of the Argosy's letters page...

Some mags might also use a 2nd name like "Action Log", "Adventure Log" - even just "The Letters Log."

4. As mentioned in earlier posts, some letter writers used poetry to project their 'attacks' & to 'defend' each other.

And, Lovecraft was right in the middle of it all, slinging poetic barbs at Fred Jackson's writing skills...

It was this Letter War that brought HPL to the attention of the mighty UAPA.

More next time...