#it seems i'm still in tango mode

[caramelcoconutswirl]

[shortfeather]

Gempearl Mcc 27? the prompt 19?

(send me a ship and a number and i'll write a kiss) (yes it's still on i know it's been like five months sorry i had an AO3 author moment)

I don't watch MCC so I couldn't make this specific to then, but I took a bit of inspiration from Pearl's recent video talking about the twitchcon(?) MCC and the few clips I've seen of MCCs past!

The island was absolutely crawling with people and cameras, but somehow, the two of them had found a corner where privacy as a concept hadn't been totally eradicated. No, their only audience was the blue void stretching out beneath their dangling feet, and each other.

"You excited for Ace Race?" Gem piped up, swinging her legs idly over the empty sky. "Your ping's been really good today, not that you need to be un-nerfed."

"Gem!" Pearl squawked, turning to face her with betrayal writ large across her eyes. "You can't just say that, now it's gonna be worse than ever!"

"Maybe I just want a chance against you, tryhard."

"Tryha—I—excuse you? I am not a tryhard, miss GeminiSlay." A blush slowly took over Pearl's face as she stammered, and Gem grinned, ignoring the reminder of her silly nickname. Pearl beat her in combat all the time, so really, it was a reminder of how insanely cracked her girlfriend was. And even if it wasn't, this was worth it. Flustering Pearl was just so much fun!

"I'll have you know I try a—a normal amount! At every—at most things!" Pearl continued, waving a hand around wildly. "I can admit I went a little hard on Decked Out 2, but—"

"Pearl, you memorized the map of every level down to the block. And you were the only person to beat the game."

"Yeah, but Etho won."

"Not in Tango's eyes! Etho didn't even go into the maze for most of the game, you literally ran it blind."

"Well." Pearl kicked her legs alongside Gem's, smiling a little goofily. "Like I said. I can admit I went hard on that. But not other ways! I'm not a tryhard!"

Gem raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Wordle."

"That was just me learning—"

"Final four in every life series you've been a part of, not to mention the one you won." Gem slapped a hand over Pearl's mouth as she went to protest again. "Queen of Decked Out 2, which you built a part of, might I remind you! Helped dethrone a king and intimidated Scar into not having a chest monster, even if it was temporary. Easily the best master of organics on Hermitcraft. Intimidated Doc—Doc!—into giving up something he'd taken as revenge." She paused. "Actually, I retract that last one, Doc's a scaredy-creeper. But there's tons more, miss tryhard. Just how many times have you won MCC now? Care to remind—ew!"

Gem yanked her hand away from Pearl's mouth, grimacing as she wiped off the spit from where Pearl had licked her. Pearl, for her part, just laughed.

"You licked me!" the redhead yelled, rather redundantly.

"I had to get your attention somehow." Pearl scooted closer, until she was almost nose-to-nose with Gem. "You kept ignoring the real proof of my accomplishments."

When Gem just frowned, she let her smile go sappy and said, "Girlfriend of the one and only GeminiTay? Ring a bell?"

"Oh my god," Gem drawled. Still, she was giggling as she playfully shoved Pearl's face away with a hand on her cheek. "You're the worst. And still a tryhard!"

Pearl pouted, going into full puppy-dog-eyes mode. "The worst? Can I get a kiss then, to cope with the pain of worstness?"

"No."

"For luck, then?"

"Wh—you don't need luck! I just gave you a million reasons you don't need luck!"

"But Geeeeeemmmmm," Pearl whined, pushing her face into Gem's hand. "You mentioned my ping, and now it's gonna suck."

"Oh my god," Gem muttered to herself. But her hand was cupping the back of Pearl's neck now, and drawing her closer, leaving Pearl's heart a delighted flutter. No matter how many times she kissed Gem, it seemed it would always feel like the first.

"Good luck," Gem said softly when they parted. "Again, not that you need it."

The bell rang around them before Pearl could reply, signaling the end of break. Gem sighed as their comms started buzzing rapidly, the whole server going wild at the prospect of starting this half with Ace Race. They only had a few minutes to meet up and strategize, so she stood up and brushed the dirt off her pants while Pearl stretched.

"You know," she said, stepping back towards the void they'd been sitting over. Pearl looked up with a raised eyebrow, curious. "I still don't think you need luck. But if you do—well, you know where to find me."

And she grinned, full of mischief. "On the course, that is."

Pearl sat there, stunned, as her girlfriend stepped into void and flew back to her team. Then she jumped to her feet, more determined than she'd perhaps ever been before.

Luck and ping both be damned. She'd try harder than anyone could ever dream of trying if it meant she got to kiss Gem some more.

[annathesillyfriend]

Hello!! I didn't even notice when February ended 😅 But now that it's over, it means that I officialy finish uni in a month (hopefully not for long because I'm planning to apply for a doctoral school, keep your fingers crossed for me, please and thank you!). I wish it meant I would have more free time to catch up with all the fics in my likes waiting to be read. Unfortunately it only means that I need to start looking for another job 😅

It seems like my life gets more hectic everyday and I would like to thank you all beautiful people for helping me unwind and keep some bits of my sanity. I hate that I don't interact with your fics as much as I used to but I think about you a lot, wish you all the best and I'm just so thankful for you all. Keep being amazing 💓

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!

To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.

Also, please, mind the writers’ warnings!

💓ROBERT 'BOB' FLOYD💓

a sky full of glow in the dark stars by @jupitercomet

↳ one shot, absolutely stunning 🥺🥺

whoops by @roosterbruiser

↳ one shot, admiral's daughter!reader dating bob in secret. bobby with tiny little kittens might be just a bit too much for my poor heart

sky and stars by @callsignsaturn

↳ one shot, admiral's daughet! reader once again, bob takes her for a joyride. or maybe not... 👀

delicate by @laracrofted

↳ one shot, i'm not sure what's to loveliest - the song, the man or the fic

full of surprises and electric bugaloo by @withahappyrefrain

↳ two-shot, 18+, this man couldn't be more perfect if he tried. and remember - bob fucks 😌😌

love me, love me by @bussyslayer333

↳ one shot, bartender!reader, idiots in love, the more i read about bob the more i think i am an idiot in love as well

a snowed in baby bird by @mothdruid

↳ one shot, 18+, childhood friends to lovers, this story lives in my mind rent free from now on

💓JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN💓

whiskey and wine by @say-al0e

↳ one shot, 18+, date night with husband!jake which is the ultimate dream

this fic by @callsignsaturn

↳ one shot, jake meets bradley's old school friends at his wedding and the rest is history 😌

hey stupid, i love you by @callsignseagull

↳ one shot, 18+, another Laura's fic, another slay. we stan a consistent queen 🙌🙌

your carriage awaits, sweet by @lazypeachsoul

↳ one shot, jake may not be an expert on marine life but we still adore him

everything by @madsnowstorm

↳ one shot, i love when a character is like 'i don't want to get married, but i want to marry you', you don't understand how much i love this fic!!

you are in love by @loveforaugust

↳ one shot, we love a tay tay swift inspired fic here

so funny story (i'm fucking your daughter) by @fandomxpreferences

↳ one shot, mitchell!reader, i think the title sums it up pretty well 😅😅

signed away by @seresinhangmanjake

↳ series, some chapters are 18+, arranged marrige, enjoyed this so very much!

💓BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW💓

all of you by @lt-spork

↳ one shot, i love bradley but i love clingy bradley even more

hello, i love you by @roosterforme

↳ one shot, bradley goes speed dating and it's just so fun, i love it!!

two to tango by @//roosterforme

↳ series, 18+, pilot!reader, loved this series an unhelathy amount

airplane mode by @//roosterforme

↳ two-shot, flight attendant!reader, Emily, if you're reading this, i'm a great fan of yours!!

not a coincidence by @sehnsuchts-trunken

↳ one shot, penny's niece!reader, bradshaw's a menace but good for us!!

proposal to come by @//sehnsuchts-trunken

↳ one shot, only the best maids of honor and best men get promoted to bride and groom he he

romeo, romeo by @welcome-to-my-multiverse

↳ one shot, drunk bradley is something else but i have nothing but love for this lovesick little puppy

short stack by @spacecaravan

↳ one shot, 18+, bradley bradshow deserves all the finest things in life period

forever valentine by @bradshawsbaby

↳ one shot, fiance!reader, bradley wasn't my valentine this year and i think it's a bit mean tbh

another day, another dollar by @sunflowersteves

↳ one shot, 18+, okay listen, i am a 21st century idependent woman but i would be lying if i said that this big scary bradley wasn't doing it for me 🤤

like i can by @sometimesanalice

↳ series, daggers have a bet on who's gonna set bradley's friend (and the love of his life) on the best date and roo's not very happy about it. loved this series from the first word to the very last!

mary's song by @risriswrites

↳ one shot, best friends to lovers, this made my heart grow 10x

my reward by @susanripper

↳ one shot, this turned me into a little giggling girl and i'm just SHSHSHSHHSHSHS

heart of gold, hands of a heeler by @fandomxpreferences

↳ one shot, he deserves all the love and all the attention in the world

💓STEVE HARRINGTON💓

keep it quiet for me by @my-my-only-angel

↳ one shot, 18+, caution!! hot contents!!

this fic by @harringtonswriting

↳ one shot, steve's making a big romantic gesture™

i think we're alone now by @new-romqntics

↳ one shot, cute little enemies to loves moment

starts with a pen by @moljh

↳ one shot, reader has a mouth on her and i stan

roses and dandelions by @caxde

↳ one shot, hopper!reader, they're both teachers, it's slowburn, it's friends to lovers, it's idiots in love, it's just everything

friday by @softharrington

↳ one shot, robin's plan for valentine's day turned out to be a hot mess but it also sorta worked??? we love to see that

fix it by @lovebugism

↳ one shot, man do i love a good angsty fic that gives me heartache

whip it! and i've been dying to get you dizzy by @schoopsahoy

↳ two shot, 18+, roller-rink!reader, steve meets a girl while being on a babysitting duty

to be alone together by @katsu28

↳ one shot, steve's valentine's day is not all that bad

dress by @munsonsreputation

↳ one shot, 18+, best friends to lovers, dress is one of my top favourite tswift songs and this fic is doing it justice!! 10/10 would read again

do you think i have forgotten? by @keeryshouse

↳ one shot, 18+, idiots in love who are also exes to lovers, beautiful work!!

be mine by @underoossss

↳ one shot, would you look at that, another idiots in love fic! i am so very predictable

💓EDDIE MUNSON💓

broken beds by @lovebugism

↳ one shot, 18+, eddie's not that good at excuses and wayne's not that stupid 😅

caught me slippin' by @uglypastels

↳ one shot, 18+, esscort!eddie, modern au, a wonderful fic based on an equally amazing book 'kiss quotient'. go read them both!!!

💓PETER PARKER💓

this blurb by @webslingingslasher

↳ one shot, nothing like a good pining idiots in love confessing their feeling for each other

a drunk headcannon by @blooming-violets

↳ blurb, tasm!peter is drunk, in love and horny but so is his girl and i love that for them 😌

i spy, no spy by @t-lostinworlds

↳ BIG-SHOT, one shot, avanger!reader, friends to lovers fake dating for a mission, it's so crazy that some people are so talented and hard working, my mind is blown once again. i have nothing but love and respect for one of my favourite authors of all time. slay 💅

💓RHETT ABBOTT💓

afternoon delight by @bradshawsbaby

↳ one shot, 18+, rhett is just such a helpful boyfriend, just a gem

[cielcreations]

Murder Drones AU Prompt (Featuring SoliTango/Rancher Duo)

AN: First off, if you haven't watched Murder Drones, go watch it. It's on YouTube, there's going to be 8 episodes and, at the time of writing this, 6/8 are out and it's really good, really nice animation, really cute. It can be a bit confusing at times, but it's honestly just adorable and I love.

This is the equivalent to the pilot with some changes and simplification for story/prompt purposes. Idk if I'll make a fully fletched out story, but who knows? Maybe.

So, Tango is a Worker Drone and, like all Worker Drones, has to hide behind three doors so the Disassembly Drones don't, ya know, MURDER them? That's no fun. But he also HATES it because while they're working on creating a better future and all that, they're also sitting ducks just waiting to be attacked.

So, he creates a weapon that's missing one part that he knows he can find outside. He manages to sneak out of the doors and finds the part he needs, but is attacked by a Disassembly Drone! He uses his weapon and manages to completly shoot it's head off.

However, it GROWS BACK and his weapon is reloading and- he tries to smack the other with the butt end of his weapon.

"Now, now, that's not very nice!" The other huffed playfully, winking. Tango notices that one of the lights on his headband are red instead of yellow, indicating an error, "Oh! Are you new to our squad? You seem kinda.... short."

"Wha- You're only, like, a few inches taller than me!"

"Yeah, true, I suppose... Besides, G is super short but- OH!" He put his hand up, saluting Tango, smiling, "I'm Serial Designation Solidarity! Nice to meetcha!"

"Oh, uh, I'm... Serial Designation.... Tango?" He lied.

"Pleasure to meet you, Tango!" Solidarity took his hand, shaking it kind of violently, the other gasping a bit, "Allow me to give you the tour and explain things before Grian and Pearl get back from hunting! They're also part of our squad!"

Solidarity explains the Disassembly Drones' purpose to Tango, who counters saying this isn't good, and before more discussion could be had, but the other two Disassembly Drones (Grian and Pearl) come back before he can and Tango manages to sneak away. Tango runs back to the door and tries to close it behind him, the other Worker Drones confused. Before the door closes, a sharp tail stabs into the button, Tango gasping and turning.

Solidarity was in hunting mode, smirking as he licked his lips.

All of the Worker Drones begin running to escape the murder and to hide behind the second door. However, Solidarity is quick to kill them all as Tango tries to work his weapon, which is still reloading. When it's finally done, it's too late.All the other Workers who were in the first door are dead and the second door is closed. Tango holds up the weapon to Solidarity.

"I won't miss, this time." Tango hissed.

"I'm sorry, I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting my siblings with that." Solidarity growled, kicking the weapon out of his hand and stabbing the other in the shoulder.

Tango groaned and glared at the other, seeing him hesitate, "W-Well? Go ahead..."

Solidarity clenched his fist, still not moving. However, they heard footsteps and Solidarity threw Tango over his shoulder, hiding him in the snow as Grian and Pearl appeared. They praised him for getting past the first door, saying they could use the vents to get past the rest. Grian was the first to jump and go, pearl gently ruffling his hair. Solidarity faced Tango, who was trying not to move to seem dead before looking at Pearl, who was also getting ready to leave.

"Pearl..." Solidarity hesitated, "Not that I can't wait to keep murdering all the Worker Drones, but... do we know what the company plans to do with us? You know, after?" A question Tango asked him.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"I-I just mean... Well, if they hate robots... and we're robots... What's going to happen to us afterwards?"

"S..." Pearl walked forward before pinning him to the wall, glaring, "Worker Drones are corrupted. That's why we're here. How many times do I have to tell you this?" She hissed, "Don't make me kill you. You know what the code says and I'd hate to have to do that to my brother."

"R-Right, sorry..."

Pearl let him go, "You, stay back. Don't get anymore funny ideas while Grian and I take care of this." She then left through the vents.

Tango came out from hiding as Solidarity slumped to the ground, "...You okay?"

"I... I'm kinda the useless one." Solidarity explained, "When you said all those things, I couldn't help but think about it and... yeah. I've always been the one who was curious and questioning things and Pearl should have killed me long ago, company policy and all. But... we're siblings and... as tough as they are, they care about me... Even if I mess things up. Messed up your doors and your friends are gonna get killed..."

"Yeah, they are. If we just stand here doing nothing." Tango offered a hand, smirking, "Wanna team up?"

Solidarity blinked before he smiled, "Sure! Sounds fun!"

[aquaquadrant]

Deep Breath in.... Deep Breath out....SCREAMING

Thank you for this amazing update it was so so good. I will probably end up sending multiple asks (apologies in advance) because there is so much to process. This was such an amazing chapter! Your ability to capture these strong emotions and display what I feel is accurate characterizations is truly captivating. I've been so pumped for this chapter and I was just so blown away by it.

God first off Impulse. IMPULSE!!! My man literally carried Tango to a safe place, helped the ranchers feel safe, and just went full Dad mode. I flipped when he went full demon mode after finding out what happened to Tango. Man was ready to enter Hels and destroy Hels Tek block by block.

Jimmy getting hints about Watcher stuff as well was *chef kisses*. Kinda curious can Martyn and Scott hear what the Watchers are saying to Jimmy? Martyn seemed to step in just when they were getting extra hurtful.

God you fed us with Ranchers too. I was so happy that Tango may slowly be starting to get that he is loved. The way Jimmy didn't back down. uggggg perfection

Also Tango associating quartz with Hels was so painful. My man went through every trauma response this chapter and probably will still hit like 30 more.

Small questions you might not be able to answer yet but will ask anyways. When Tango went through the portal, is it still open on Double Life or did Jimmy get in at the last second? If Tango did break the portal would he or Bravo be able to get back to the rest of the universe? You mentioned that Bravo's sense of superiority shows up differently in Tango, is that Tango enjoys watching other suffers. That he enjoys the power it gives him or is that more of a trauma response due to strong need to be in control and by killing others he feels like he is strong enough to protect himself? Or I guess a combo of both hahaha. Ummmm last question for now can I like stab Atlas for like everything? Especially the collar? That cool ya awesome I'm gunna assume that's a yes

HEY NOVA always great to hear from my readers, no apologies needed ^^ i’m glad u enjoyed it!

loved getting to give impulse a bigger role in this update- as tango’s oldest friend on hc, it just made sense that he’d be front and center. and getting to show demon mode was the cherry on top 👌

martyn and scott CAN indeed hear jimmy’s watchers if they’re close enough, scott just tries his best to pretend they don’t exist out of spite while martyn is more sympathetic to being the brunt of their jokes. neither of them want to talk to jimmy abt it tho bc they think he’s better off not knowing abt the watchers, even tho the alternative is him thinking his own thoughts are super mean ;(

(but neither of them were close enough to catch grian’s brief slip into watcher state, in case anyone was wondering)

GLAD U ENJOYED THE RANCHER MEAL 💃 there’s a lot of interesting hels dynamics and worldbuilding and angst to explore in this au but at the end of the day, this is a rancher’s au for a reason 🙏😤

obvi u sent this in before i answered other asks abt it but JUST in case u didn’t catch those, tango was interrupted before he could break the portal, and if it were broken, they would still be able to open a portal out of hels using another player’s data.

as for ur other question, it’s def a bit of both. tango’s always had a bit of sadism in him as an amplification of bravo’s superiority complex. one of his favorite pastimes pre-hels tek was to set traps outside of the cities and wait for players to stumble into them and perish terribly, while he watched with delight. but after hels tek, he fixated more on mob farms as a way of trying to reclaim that trauma, while ALSO being a more socially-acceptable way to scratch that itch.

and last but not least, u can TRY to stab atlas but ur gonna have to wait at the end of a very long line.

[siriannatan]

Sheriff's Day Off

It's all @joifee fault I wrote this (thank you 😺).

Also, I wrote this on my phone so I couldn't put it through my usual grammar check so sorry if there are mor e mistakes than usually.

It was a peaceful day in the Empires Server. As peaceful as one can be when less than twenty hours ago a bunch of players from a different Server suddenly dropped by because of a weird portal. fWhip was giving a tour to Al the Hermits who missed the initial one and those who wanted another one. Tango chose to come alone since Jimmy was apparently busy today.

It was weird seeing Jimmy on his home Server. On Life servers and literally everywhere else Tango has ever seen him he was so different. Much more shy and withdrawn. Here he seemed both aloof and constantly vigilant at the same time. He was still very nice to Tango and offered him a place to stay at in Tumble town.

Tango felt only slightly weird about accepting a job in Gobland. But Jimmy didn't seem to mind it when he told him about it. Just said something vague about the place being grate and moved on to being busy the next day.

Tango guessed head some ruler stuff to do and just joined the second tour. There were places he hadn't seen on the initial one. And fWhip was fun to be around. Very different admin form Xisuma but that's good. There's only one X after all.

He was a bit sad all the other emperor's/ rulers were too busy to join. Mostly by making accomodations for the Hermits. So colour him surprised when an annoyed looking Scott landed next to fWhip. "Would you happen to know where's Jimmy?" He asked his admin. Tango could only hope it wasn't about him.

"No. And your pokies are sticking out," fWhip shrugged, at all not bothered by rainbow crystals sticking out of Scott. Tango was pretty sure they weren't there yesterday. "What do you even need the sheriff for anyway?"

"Well, he promised..." Scott started but was stopped by the Sheriff landing behind him and, completely unborhered by the crystals, wrapping him in a hug. Using his height advantage to easily rest his head in Scott's cyan, unprotected by his hat on account of crystal horns, hair.

"There you are," he grinned like Tango never saw him grin. Mouth full of sharp, needle-like teeth. Hi fWhip, we might make a mess somewhere, sorry in advance," he shot the goblin a wink.

fWhip just sighed. "It's sooner than I expected," he hummed, visibly relaxing. Tango totally missed when he tensed up. "Anything I cal help with?"

"Sorry, you're a bit too squishy at the moment," Jimmy sighed, a hint of sadness in his voice. Not that Tango had time to dwell on it.

"Sorry I'm noth a half-dragon anymore," fWhip's annoyed reply had him even more shocked.

And Jimmy just giggled. "Maybe another time you can watch," he grinned as Scott, who was so far suspicious silent started to wriggle and growl. "I think that's my cue, time for Sheriff's vacation," he hummed and suddenly wasn't a human but... An undead part-fish? And like seven feet tall. And somehow enen more handsome. And had fWhip whistling and if Tango was correct blushing... And Jimmy was suddenly off, with Scott still in his arms.

"Have fun," fWhip waved him off. "Anyway, where were we?" He turned to the Hermits. There was definitely some blush still on his face.

"What. The. Hell. Was. That?" Grian was first to speak and asked what all the present Hermits were thinking.

"Result of botched server reset, we didn't really have much of a choice but rush it.I will spare you guys the details but it did mess up some code and Pearl split in two, and she Joel and Jimmy got god powers and Scott's got a demon in him... Or is part one? We're still unsure but Jimmy has to occasionally go Death God mode and beat that side of him up," fWhip explained as if he were talking about weather. "Don't worry, they'll be fine," he assured with a wide grin. It was just then that Tango noticed he had a lot pointier an sharper teeth than other goblins... Remnants of his old code?

"How does that explain anything?" Grian was clearly not satisfied with how little fWhip seemed to care about the whole situation.

"It is what it is, now back to Stratos..." The goblin king easily returned to the tour to Grian's dismay. Tango would have to ask either fWhip or Jimmy... Or Scott but he was Franky the most terrifying option...

Especially considering that when Scott and Jimmy marched into the Drip at a late evening hour as Tango and fWhip were discussing Gobland's transport systems, the king of Chromia was looking fresh as a daisy while Jimmy. Still in his half-dead-fish form looked a lot closer to dead. And unabashedly cuddled fWhip, while quietly complaining about Scott 'dragging it out'. Tango guessed It was that fight to push the crystal demon back...

[talesfromsiteredacted]

O5 Has... Questions.

The Big Brass are not amused by my latest antics, it seems. I wake up to a less than gruntled Dr. Gears, a very annoyed MTF, and with O5 calling me up for a chat. Folks... assuming the Red Right Hand doesn't kill me... I suspect I'm still not off the hook.

It's much later when I wake up from my mini coma. I wake up to Dr. Gears shaking my shoulder.

"Agent Rabbit. Wake. Up." I blink, life comes into focus. And I wish it hadn't. I sit up, pulling off Clef's lab coat. "Ah, good. You're back with us. You've been out cold for almost a day. We almost considered having Draven take you to the infirmary, until Clef threatened to shoot us. But... turns out he was right, wasn't he?"

I look behind him, sure enough... there's my pal Draven, looking worried. And... his whole 20 man squad. All of them look worried, although Boyard in the back looks terrified.

"Hi, guys. Yeah, I tend to pass out if I overdo it. Not sure what the deal with that is, but it's very annoying. Worse than Dr. Bright in "Drunken Sailor" mode. Just let me sleep a while, I'll be fine. Since the MTF is here, I'm going to assume I messed up."

"Not exactly, Rabbit. We're just curious. Just what other surprises are you hiding? By the way, both Dr. Clef and Agent Strelnikof deny knowing what went on before you collapsed. To the point they can't even recall what color your dress was. Strelnikof just said he left you two to pursue a fleeing tango, and Clef is claiming concussion. And then... Abel wouldn't shut up about your little snowball fight."

"Ratted out by my own brother. Next time we play a game... he's cannon fodder. Let me guess... I need a word with O5. Do I at least get a chance to straighten up?"

A female MTF steps forward, with fresh clothes. She hands them over.

"Five minutes, and Agent Fowler will of course be just outside the restroom. The rest of us will be in the hall, waiting. We can at least allow you that." Fowler walks me to the restroom, while Dr. Gears leads the rest out. I close the door, and get dressed. Huh, I'm starting to like Agent Fowler, she even included a hair brush. Once decent, I step out. After a moment, I realize I still have Clef's coat. I reach back in and grab it.

"Agent Fowler? Once you're finished with this boring as hell escort mission, would you kindly drop this back to Dr. Clef? He must have left it yesterday." Fowler nods, and we rejoin the others.

"Dr. Gears? If I promise not to misbehave, can the MTF guys and gals go back to their other jobs? I know I can't run, and it's frankly a waste of manpower. Besides, it's not like I want to leave. I like it here."

"I should say no... but, I agree it's a waste of everyone's time. All right. Agent Draven, your squad is dismissed. If Agent Rabbit is going to do anything, I'll deal with her." Draven nods, the squad falls out. We walk to the O5 conference room in silence. I'm internally panicking. Two of the groups even we dread, and the big ones are interested in me. I'm probably turning green as we go. We reach the dreaded room, but before I go in, Dr. Gears stops me.

"O5 isn't going to kill you, you can relax a bit Bunny. They just want to talk." I nod, and we go in.

"Agent Rabbit, nice to see you. Although... you have gotten us curious. When were you going to mention you're a one-woman-army?" The Cowboy teases me.

"Didn't really know myself, sir. Guess I'm a credit to Abel's training. Honestly, it was the 914 incident I suspect, sir. I did grow a few inches, my hair went from mud brown to blood of the enemy red, and I seem to be able to both freeze and burn things, but not with the same hands or at the same time. Oh, and the wings. Aside from that, I'm still the same silly Rabbit."

"You're not silly, Rabbit. Dr. Glass might be right when he said you're remarkably normal for an anomaly. Meaning, you know who and what you are."

"By and large, I suppose. As much as I can."

"Nevertheless, we want to run a few tests, if you're willing."

"Do I have a choice? Fine. When do we begin?"

"Soon. We'll send our proposals to Dr. Gears. And we may need to revise your classification, of course." There's a soft mumbling amid the O5. "For the record, we were thinking Keter, but you're leaning into Thaumiel hard lately."

"Um... thank you?"

"You're welcome, Rabbit. You're free to go, just... try not to make the rest our guys look too foolish out there, please?"

"Wouldn't dream of it, sir." Dismissed, I leave for a hot shower and a snack.

[shadamyheadcanons]

In regards to the team sonic racing ask before – I've been actively replaying it and Shadow & Amy always seem to be interacting LOL I almost always play as Team Dark, and as I've been going through story mode again the game always pits Team Rose as one of the main rival teams against me. If I play as Rouge or Omega, I'm always seeing Shadow and Amy going at it. If I play as Shadow, Amy is CONSISTENTLY the one character I always have to look out! Most of my races end with me and her nearly at a tie for first!

Also in one of my recent plays, when I bumped into Amy as Shadow she shouted something about her hair getting messed up. And then Shadow suddenly went "Let me see..." I know it wasn't a direct response to her voice line and was more about the bumping interaction, but the timing of it killed me.

((In reference to this ask))

This reminds me of the A.I.’s tendency to always pit each character against the same one in Super Mario Kart, e.g. whenever I played as a Koopa Troopa, my biggest rival was always, always Luigi. Does anyone know if TSR’s A.I. operates the same way?

If that actually is true, I have to wonder if the programmers had a Shadamy bias, hehe. Sonic has several potential rivals, so I can see them having to take a different route for Shadow, and who better to get under his skin than the one who’s always had such a strong hold over him? She’s acted very successfully as his moral compass on multiple occasions (SA2, the “Miracle of Love” route in Shadow the Hedgehog, Archie’s Treasure Team Tango arc...) I could see him being a little self-conscious about that, given how many times he’s been manipulated. Thank god she’s always on the side of good! I’ve always suspected that her level of influence and charisma could be legitimately dangerous if she weren’t so steadfastly ethical.

If the A.I. does indeed operate that way, I see only three explanations:

1. The writers had that same thought process and wanted to highlight their meaningful relationship.

2. They’re starved for Shadow/Amy interactions just as much as we are, whether romantic or platonic.

3. Shadow and/or Amy was an odd one out in the group, so the writers felt the two of them were interesting enough as a pair to justify it, which explains their unique behavior around each other compared to other characters.

Or...maybe the A.I. isn’t like that at all and we’re just overanalyzing based on confirmation bias. It’s fun to think about it anyway, though, right? I love the idea of that being the case in-universe, even if it’s just a coincidence out-of-universe.

Maybe they wanted to make up for Team Rose and Team Dark never interacting in Sonic Heroes. I made a headcanon that suggested why the two teams never met, but it was still a missed opportunity. Either way, I can picture Rouge and/or Omega hanging back as the two compete and tease each other, secretly noticing how cute they are together. If one takes into account Shadow’s unusual playfulness with Amy in TSR, it makes perfect sense that he’d be eager to see her quills look messy so he could tease her about them, coincidence or not. ;)

[mcytlin]

Alrighty, it's been a while and the Deadpulse!au of yours has finally started to brainrot for me. care to share the juicy details?

oh do i!

*cracks nuckles*

Okay so, first off i'd like you to appreciate the name for the au, obviously it's a reference to Impulse's name, and him being "dead", but it's also bc his actual pulse (like hearbeat stuff) stopped, so therefore it's a dead pulse, ta-daa!

The idea was based on a one-shot i read once, where Impulse dies, but there's a glitch and his soul respawns while his body remains, so Zedeath has to drag him back to his body. I'll try to find it later so I can properly credit.

So my premise is pretty similair; Impulse dies (prob to a creeper but might change depending on whether or not i can come up with an angstier idea), his totem of undying goes off but there's a glitch, so instead of all of Impulse being revived, only his soul is. And in this case, there isn't a Zedeath to help him return. So now he can't talk to people or otherwise interact with the world around him, though he can phase through blocks and stuff, it's a bit like he's stuck in spectator mode.

He tries to tell people what happend, but to no avail. Impulse's body lies somewhere in the middle of the forest for days, until finally, finally, somebody finds it. Who it is I'm still not sure, just that it probably won't be anyone from Boatem or team ZIT. Maybe Bdubs, maybe Iskall, maybe Ren, maybe somebody entirely else, who knows, certainly not me. I still gotta figure out who I can get the most angst out of with this hehe.

So the hermit runs and tells boatem, who freaks out because, they haven't seen Impulse in a while, they assumed he was afk at a farm but obviously he wasn't, so how long has he been out for? How long had he been laying there? Obviously, Zedaph and Tango are contacted, and Xisuma as well, but...

X can't figure out what's wrong. He's checking the logs, the world code, the players' data and... nothing seems amiss. Impulse is still shown as active, although afk, and X can't figure out why he won't wake up, why his body seems to be dead, no heartbeat, no breathing, no nothing. The option of killing Impulse and simply hope he respawns is brought up, but quickly shot down. They can't risk it, after all maybe that would just make things worse, would kill Impulse permanently... Besides, you can't kill a body that already is dead, Cleo reminds them. So the hermits are left clueless, with no idea what they should do.

And Impulse? Well, Impulse gets to watch as it all unfolds. He gets to watch as his friends deseperately try to bring him back, and Impulse hopes so much that they succeed, he wants to wake up from this nightmare he's stuck in, where nobody can hear him, nobody can touch him, where he is powerless to do anything. He gets to watch as some of his friends eventually give up, seemingly accepting the fact he's gone, and he tries to yell, scream to make them listen to him. He watches as they mourn him, hurt because of him, how the server seems to become almost bleak and lifeless, and he gets to feel guitly over it. He tries to be there for them, to offer them some sort of support, and sometimes it almost feels like it works. He gets to watch how some friends still try to save him somehow, gets to watch how the admins, especially Xisuma, work themselves to the ground to try and find out just what exactly happened to him, ignoring their own health and safety in the process, and he gets to feel guitly over it. He tries to tell them to stop, to take care of themselves, to bring them to their senses, and sometimes it almost feels like they listen to him.

And then, eventually, he gets to watch as they move on. His friends are still sad over his loss, of course, still miss him, but it's been weeks, maybe months, and life goes on, and so should they. He gets to watch as they slowly get better, slowly start to heal, and seek comfort in each other. Hermitcraft slowly but surely returns to what it once was (it'll never be what it once was, not with one of them gone, they will never be able to completely let go), with pranks being played again, minigames created, silly little wars waged, and the hermits letting themselves be happy

And maybe, Impulse thinks, he should feel scared, should feel angry, should feel betrayed, but all he can feel is an odd sensation of... relief. Relief that his friends will turn out okay after all, relief that he didn't ruin their lives, relief that the pain he caused wouldn't be everlasting.

And maybe, he is scared. Maybe he is terrified, that he'll be stuck in this limbo forever, that he will be nothing more than an observer to the hermits' lives, that he will never be able to participate in life again, but he pushes that fear far far down, ingores it as best as he can, because he wants to focus on his friends, who are happy and okay now, and he should stop being so fucking selfish-

And maybe, after months of being gone, he returns. Just like that. And suddenly he has a body again, and he can talk and touch and feel and it's all too much and he doesn't know what is happening and neither do the hermits but he's back now so it's okay, everything's okay.

Right?

[clatterbane]

Today's opthalmology timeline, in a nutshell:

* Finally worked in for a fill-in appointment at a few days' notice, after I had to cancel the last one thanks to what I am still not sure wasn't COVID.

* Have to leave an hour earlier than I was prepared for, on roughly 10 minutes' notice! 😬

* In a freaking wheelchair to help speed everything up, while barely awake and also autistic, and working under Swedish punctuality expectations. With even cab drivers inevitably showing up at least 5 minutes early. 😬

* Does this mean that the Household Swede will adjust the time he asks the cab company to send a ride accordingly? HAHAHAHA.

* (After my last phone update, Samsung's calendar UI is TOTALLY FUCKED. This very much includes the event time display. And Google's is bad enough for me already. 😬)

* We do, indeed, manage to get out and to the cab roughly on time. With all the required shoes, pants, wallets/bags, ID, jackets, and eyeballs about our persons.

* Thanks to the current Plague situation, Mr. C cannot wait in there. Ends up in an atrium area, rather than needing to leave the university hospital buildings entirely.

* They remember NOT to use the dilating drops that I react pretty badly to.

* Hurry up and wait in the hallway!

* Some other guy waiting offers to move a chair out of the way for me. I honestly cannot imagine why. It's not even really in my way, and my arms do mostly work fine.

* Ah, likely the wheels more than some weird sexist assumptions. That's... something, I guess?

* Once again, I am relieved to have half my face behind a mask.

* Finally choke out a vaguely appropriate response in broken-ass Stressed Autistic Person Swedish Mode.

(May sound oddly specific, but this is NOT my first tango.)

* I do not, in fact, sink through the floor.

* The laser table's electric height adjustment mechanism is borked enough today that she has to make two phone calls and summon someone else in to help get it usable.

* Yes please, do not attempt to perform somewhat lengthy and tricky procedures on my retinas while working awkwardly at a roughly 30° tilt--as everyone involved is increasingly distracted by the cricks in their necks. 😬

* After some tinkering under there, Second Phone Call White Coat Lady gets the table top/laser zapping contraption level again, and vaguely capable of moving up and down.

* I decide not to push anyone's luck, and give these proceedings the go ahead once it's at a level that the laser wizard seems satisfied with.

* Which naturally involves hunching my shoulders and neck down and forward a bit. For what turns out to be "only" like 25 minutes (?) straight.

* With the first laser treatment seeming to destabilize things, and Haunted Eyeball springing (another) fresh leak just the other day--and maybe the biggest so far? The swirls of blood in there are enough to obstruct the doctor from seeing that retina well enough to do much zap-zap on it today. 😬

* Yes please, do not attempt to continue playing the world's dullest video game inside my eyeball if you cannot clearly see what you're shooting that laser blaster at.

* This entire situation is not worrying in the least. Nope.

* But, that's okay! She has time to work on the other, so far symptom-free (*fingers crossed*) eye instead, while I'm there!

* More drops to take effect, more waiting out in the hall.

* No further awkward conversations arise. Maybe the dorky clip-on shades also serve as some deterrent. 😎

* More awkward hunched leaning toward the machine. For a probably 45 minute session this time around.

* Finally over for today! 😎

* She cannot find an open appointment anytime soon. But, they will try to work me in ASAP to try again on (hopefully less actively by then) Haunted Eyeball.

* Now, where in the hells did he get to? 🤔

* That last determined stabbing at predictive text options is essentially a monkeys and typewriters level success.

* This communication actually draws his attention enough to come and investigate, at any rate.

* I can finally just about make out ANY of this exchange by the time we get home.

So far, in the more immediate aftermath? This does not seem to be the worst Pupil Dilation Hell migraine. Tomorrow may well be a different story, but I can worry about that then.

Did I mention that I am due in Lund for ANOTHER sedated gastroscopy session in the morning? (I.e., roughly Circadian 3 a.m. for me.) 😬

Because of course I am. Maybe that will be less eventful. *fingers crossed* At least I should be knocked the fuck out for most of it.

Then, once we get home? I may sleep until further notice. When I am not doing my damndest to gobble my way through All The Now Vaguely Swallowable Food that Malmö has to offer.

At least, AFAICT from the shitty shitty current calendar view? Nothing else currently scheduled for at least the next couple of weeks. (When I am anticipating more Fun With Gastroenterology.) We also need to schedule another blood draw for endocrinology, but that can be done at primary care.

That may change at any time, of course. At least they do seem to be trying to play catch-up on several pressing issues the NHS had just been choosing to neglect, such as bleeding retinas and the whole "inability to swallow solids" thing. Not to mention the diabetes, beyond mostly keeping the lifesaving prescriptions coming.

As little as I may enjoy the process sometimes. Also, thus far? Nobody has openly treated me like something stuck to their shoe. That certainly helps make the rest easier to manage.

[emberdragon240]

BFDI Done In Hermitcraft: Chapter 1: The Plank P1

(This is also on Wattpad if that’s your thing)

"I know, she was so scared over nothing! The bee wasn't even that big, and False was freaking out!"

"Really, Iskall?"

"Really, and yet she calls herself a badass."

"She is in a way, do you remember when she asked Bdubs if she was beautiful?"

Flashback to a week ago

"Bdubs, am I beautiful?"

"Umm, sorry, but no-"

*proceeds to get yeeted to the sun*

End of flashback

"Right, I remember that, and I still hate her!" Bdubs jumped into Grian and Iskall's conversation about how False was a complete asshole. She was so rotten, even Joe hated her, and that was very unusual for him to think of people.

"I swear, I'm gonna get revenge on her! I am honsetly so glad you guys are my friends, really!" Even though they didn't really know eachother, (almost) everyone was friends on the Hermitcraft island.

"You're my friend too, right, Mumbo?" Bdubs said as he grabbed Mumbo and started squeezing him with no mercy.

"Bdubs, stop!" Grian and Iskall yelled before there was a sickening crunch and their communicators buzzed with a death message.

*MumboJumbo was suffocated*

"Sorry about that," Bdubs said, clearly embarrassed at what happened. Mumbo eventually respawned in one of those respawn generators, only to get almost killed by Jevin pointing a sword at his chest.

"Hey! I just respawned!" Mumbo said, exasperated.

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame the stupid Tango here, it's his fault!" Jevin said as he kicked Tango in the face, making him let go as he flew into the ocean.

"Fine! I'll grab Cleo instead," Tango said before grabbing Cleo out of nowhere and yeeting her to Mumbo, which was a very close dodge.

"Yikes!" Mumbo said. She was also conveniently holding a sword, so it was a pretty close call. "What was that for!?" Mumbo asked.

"What? I'm just in the mood to hurt someone," Tango replied. He then found Keralis, which he kicked with absolutely no mercy. Keralis screamed his ass off as he flew, conveniently passing by Wels. He then landed on the ground face first in shallow water where Stress was doing something.

"Keralis! What are you doing there? There's a life to enjoy, so enjoy it!" Stress said in her cheering state. Keralis had a liking for TFC for some reason, so went to him and starting acting all lovingly. A little bit too lovingly, because TFC kicked him into the air as well.

"TFC, calm down," Joe said with papa bear mode set to low. "Kicking him that hard can have permanent side effects. He IS light-weight," Joe lectured as Keralis continued flying in the air once again and as he flew past Wels, not much happened, why am I mentioning this? Anyways, he eventually fell because of the laws of physics, and he fell right onto Zedaph, and as he got up, he noticed... blood. I think you can guess what happened from there. The scream was so loud it could be heard all over the island.

"Keralis is such a scaredy-cat," Cub complained. "He's so annoying. Scar, though, you're cool," Cub said to his friend and partner-in-crime-I mean, partner-in-business.

"So are you, Cub!" Scar complimented back. Meanwhile, Wels was still flying before crashing into a mountain at low speeds, so he didn't take too much damage from the crash. The weird thing though, was that Zedaph was just sitting there as if he took a nap with his eyes open. Wels shouldn't have been surprised, though, since he always acted as if he was on LSD.

"Zedaph! Wake up!" Wels shook Zedaph awake.

"What? Hi, Wels!" Zedaph said as he was jolted awake. Wels sighed before yeeting Zedaph behind him (seriously, why are the hermits constantly yeeting each other around?). Zedaph flew along, all in a excitement that you only feel when you're high until he fell onto Joe, barely surviving.

"Oh, hi Joe, my good old friend!" Zedaph greeted Joe tiredly and before passing out from his injuries. Meanwhile, Doc and Ren were sitting near Impulse with an angry glare. They still couldn't get over the whole Area 77 thing, so here we are.

"Ren! You're an absolute idiot!" Doc yelled at Ren. He did not get the reaction he was expecting though, because Ren's response was to slap him.

"Hey!" Doc yelled, surprised.

"Oh my god, your face feels so good to slap!" Ren said. He was not acting like himself today. He then went on a slapping spree. He was about to continue when Xisuma caught him in the act.

"Doc! Ren! Stop fighting!" Xisuma yelled at the two. "And Impulse, take a bath, you stink," X commented at Impulse who was just watching.

"Sorry," Impulse said.

"Isn't X bossy?" Tango asked Cub, who were both watching the scene.

"I know! He's like a bossy bot!" Cub tried to make a joke, but all he got were stares from Scar, Tango and Wels.

"Uh, you know, a bossy robot?" Cub tried to explain the joke which only got more awkward stares.

"Um, here's the thing; a robot that was built to be at it's bossiest," Cub tried to explain further which didn't help one bit, but everyone got tired of staring at him and decided to stare at the now setting sun. "I'd do anything to get away from him," Cub said. "Or False, or Keralis, or Impulse," then conveniently and suspiciously in time, out of some mysterious smoke, some kind of... creature? Came out of the smoke

"Well then, you're in luck!" The thing said, and it was obvious it was female. It seemed to be some kind of dragon hybrid, Ender Dragon maybe? And had a crop top with decked out armor on the bottom. She also had some kid of belt with fabric that would cover her private if she didn't already have pants on.

"Uh, how?" Cub asked. The girl who seemed to be in her 20

"They're creating the server of paradise, everyone," She continued. "It's called Dream Island. It's one square mile (2.5 kilometers for all you people outside of the US) of luxury. It has a 5 star hotel, a casino, six restaurants, robot servants, and the server's whitelisted, so the winner gets to chose who's allowed in, and who's not!" She described trying to sound all excited too hard.

"Ok, what does it cost?" Cub asked. If he couldn't pay it entirely, he might borrow some of his best friend's diamonds because that's what friends do! /s

"Not even a penny," The woman responded.

"Sounds like a deal! Me and my friend'll take it!" Cub answered excitedly.

"But what about about the rest of the people here? Don't they want it too?" The mysterious being asked.

"Well, I wouldn't give up that server for anything," Cub answered.

"Everyone here's thinking the same thing," she responded. "So you know what that means. We must settle this with a reality TV show- I mean, a contest."

Cue the intro

"So yeah," the mysterious woman who still hasn't given her name yet said, "whoever stays on this plank the longest wins."

"Go."

"Let's help each other," Stress said. She wouldn't let this contest affect her! Or at least she hoped so.

"Yeah!" Jevin agreed.

"Tango, wake up! What are you doing?" Ren asked Tango, who was clearly asleep for some reason.

"Uh oh!" Impulse said as he slipped off the bar, to which no one noticed.

"Get out of my way!" False said as she was pushing people into the pool of water underneath the plank with her sword. "I need my space!"

"Help me, Jevin!" Stress said as she was falling and close to becoming another one of False's victims. Being made of slime was pretty convenient in this situation though, as he was able to stretch and easily save her from the cold, murky waters of failure.

"Thanks!" Stress said.

"Let's form an alliance!" Mumbo said to the Architect team who all agreed with him, but it unfortunately fell over unwanted ears, as Bdubs heard over from the other side of the plank and was interested now.

"Did I hear an alliance is being formed? I've gotta join!" Bdubs said as rushed over, pushing Scar off the plank on the way.

"Can I be part-" was all Bdubs was able to say before they were all falling into the ocean.

"No." was the only thing Iskall said before they all fell into the water and had Dream Island out of their reach. While all of this was happening, Ren was still trying to wake up Tango.

"Tango, wake up!" Ren said while shaking him before he accidentally put him down too close to the plank and he started to fall. "Oops," but just then, Tango woke up and walked back up on the plank, pushing Ren off in the process.

"Ren! Don't ever-" Tango said before he realized what he just did. "Whoops,"

Final 6!

"Look, there's the evil False," Stress said to Jevin as she pointed at False. "She's still in,"

"Let's run her over!" Jevin suggested to False.

"Yeah!" She said, excitedly. This was only a harmless joke, she was gonna apologize later!

"Uh oh," Tango thought out loud as they started trampling over. The plan didn't work, however, and the two got kicked into the air by False.

"Hey, we're flying!" Jevin realized.

"You're right! Woohoo!" Stress confirmed, completely forgetting that what comes up, must come down.

"Uh-oh," Jevin remembered as they almost fell off the plank with TFC, but Stress managed to get a grip.

"Pull up," Jevin commanded Stress.

"I... can't!" Stress realized, getting ready for their fate. "Oh no! Tango? Zedaph? Help!" Stress cried for help. Eventually, Tango stepped on her hand, preventing it from falling any further.

"What is it?!" Tango asked, annoyed.

"You're stepping on my hand." Stress mentioned as Tango got off her foot.

"There, better now?" Tango asked.

"Yes, now pull us up." Stress said, but as Tango tried to pull the three up, he fell over and only had his feet on the plank now, the only part that still had a chance of getting the invite to Dream Island.

"Hold onto my other arm, TFC," Stress told him, who complied. Then the hugest dick on the planet towered over them as she started laughing in that cartoon villain sort of way.

"Ha, ha! I'm wearing non-slip shoes, so boo-hoo you weirdos!" False mocked them in her usual annoying way when Tango came up with an idea and kicked her over with one of his feet, but False grabbed onto Jevin to his extreme dislike before he came up with the idea to... lick her?

"Aaah, AAAHHH!" False screamed as she instinctively pulled away, but she instantly realized was a big mistake when she starting falling, falling, and eventually into failure.

"Nice work, Jevin! A job well done!" Stress complimented Jevin's great idea.

"TFC, let's swing!" Jevin said as they swinged back onto the plank, completely forgetting about Tango and Stress.

"Jevin, alliance, remember?" Stress reminded Jevin, who pulled Stress back up onto the plank.

"Stress! You're stepping on me!" Tango said.

"What?" Stress said before Tango fell. "Oops,"

Final 4!

TFC was the first to think and the quickest, as he pushed the unsuspecting Zedaph into the water, who seemed to be having another acid trip. He pushed a little too far, though, as he also fell into the dark, cold water. Now it was just Jevin and Stress left in the battle.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" They said in coordination. Stress chose paper, while Jevin chose scissors.

"Scissors beats paper, so I get to push you off!" Jevin announced, which surprised Stress.

"Wait, what!? I never agreed to that!" Stress said.

"Ok, here's the thing: when I win, I'll invite you to Dream Island." Jevin said, trying to make a deal with Stress.

"This still isn't fair, Jevin," Stress confronted him.

"Only one of us can will, after all," Jevin said while holding up

his middle finger instead of his pointer.

"Jevin, wrong finger." Stress reminded him.

"Whoops," Jevin said with an awkward chuckle. "But my point still stands."

"And that's where you're wrong," the mysterious woman popped out from a cloud of smoke once again. "You two both win!"

"We both get the invite?" Jevin asked.

"Not quite, you two actually get to choose teams for a more longer, larger competition for the invite to Dream Island."

[echotunes]

everyone go watch hardcore hermits immediately

[video description/transcript:

A compilation of clips from all three seasons of ZIT Hardcore Hermits. The first clip is from Impulse's POV of season 1 and shows him and Tango inside an acacia village house. A two block deep hole is right in front of the door, with a zombie villager inside.

Impulse, cheerily: It's totally safe in here! Tango: [falls in the pit] (screams) NOO! Impulse: Ohh, Tango! Tango: Why would you do thi—?!

The next clip is from Zedaph's POV. The three of them are in a cave, and he has the advancement screen open.

Tango: I've done no... husbandry. Zed & Impulse: (laugh) Tango: I'm husbandless. Zed: Um... I always considered you to be the wife of the three of us, anyway, so. Tango: Oh, oh really, oh really? Zed: (laughs)

Zed is in bed inside an acacia village house, next to two other beds occupied by Impulse and Tango.

Impulse: Zed said "get in bed," I did not question.

The night ends and they all wake up, with Zed and Tango spawning in the same place so the entire screen is briefly taken up by the inside of Tango's face.

Zed: Oh! Tango, we're... cuddling. Okay, um... Tango: Well, that was...

Zed is walking behind Impulse in a cave.

Zed: He is sooo naked right now. Impulse: Mm-hm. So naked.

Zed is standing in the acacia village house, and Impulse and Tango have both just gotten the Hot Stuff advancement.

Tango: Oh! Oh, I got Hot Stuff too! Impulse: Yay! Heh heh! Zed: You two are getting hot stuff without me! Tango: You got—you so hot stuff-less. Zed, sadly: I want hot stuff!

The three of them are in a cave next to a pool of lava. (Zed POV)

Zed: Remember I drowned? Slightly? Impulse: Oh no, you did!

Tango looks at the ground and shakes his head.

Zed: (laughs) Tango: You took drown damage? Impulse: Oh my gosh. Zed: Yeah, I was tryna kill a fish!

Tango looks at Impulse.

Tango: Impulse, we got our work cut out for us, man. Impulse: (laughing) I know, dude! Tango: We got our work cut out for us here.

They are in the same cave, but this clip is from Tango's POV.

Zed: What a dangerous time! Tango: That almost burned my bits right off, man—! Let's not put that there. Zed: (laughs) We need to protect your bits at all costs. Tango: They— Protect all of them.

The next clip is also in a cave, from Zed's POV.

Tango: —by the way. Zed: I have taken more damage from drowning myself than I have from creeper explosions. Tango & Impulse: (laugh)

Zed and Tango are inside the acacia village house.

Zed: I'm an amazing person. Tango: Feather up! Zed: This is— Did you not know this? Tango: Aww. Zed: You seem surprised!

They are in the Nether, and Zed has just gotten the Take Aim advancement, then kills a ghast with his second bow shot.

Zed, triumphantly: Did you ever doubt me? Impulse: Oh my goodness. Tango: You're wasting arrows?! Zed, taken aback: Well! Wasting, what do you mean, wasting?

Impulse is in spectator mode, and watching Zed and Tango in a snowy biome as Zed tries to build a Nether portal. The portal is one block too high, as he has accidentally incorporated one of the corner cobblestone blocks into the portal frame itself.

Impulse: Wait, wait! Zed: That's my job! Tango: (laughing) Oh my god! Impulse: Oh my goodness, that is the worst portal ever, they don't even connect. Zed: What am I doing?! (laughing) Tango: (still laughing) That is the derpiest end portal ever!

Zed and Tango are in a two by one block tunnel in the Nether, and Tango is in front of him, mining the tunnel.

Impulse: Um... Zed: What a great view I've got from back here. Impulse: Yeah. Tango: (crouches rapidly while "ba-ba-ba"ing a tune) Impulse: Woah, easy there. Zed: (laughs) Shake it.

The next clip is from Impulse's POV during season 2. He is walking towards the shrine.

Impulse: Yes, I love being smart!

Impulse is standing in a spruce forest, cooking steak in a furnace.

Tango: Yeah, I gotta cook too. Impulse, sadly: I'm so hungy!

Impulse and Tango are inside their season 2 house, and Impulse has the crafting screen open.

Impulse: It's very breezy down here. (laughs) Tango: I go— (laughing) Things are... flapping...

Impulse is in a cave and puts his shield up to protect himself from a creeper explosion.

Impulse, in a goofy, forcefully bright voice: Everything's okay!

Zed is inside their season 2 dirt hut.

Tango: There's, uh, cactus in the processed chest out there if—in case I didn't make that clear. Impulse, sounding frustrated: Mmm. Zed: Um, okay. Yes. Thank you. Need blue stuff... Oh, oh, Tango, have you got cactus? You said you got cactus, right? Tango: Are you serious right now?

Zed is still inside the hut.

Tango: I'm afraid to drown, though, not gonna lie. Zed: Um, again, you don't have to lie to us. We're your friends!

Impulse is running inside the hut and gets into bed.

Impulse, sounding strained: Me too! Tango: This is terrifying, I'm digging up. Impulse, in a sing-song voice: Samesies! Zed: Samesies!

Impulse is in the hut, crafting.

Impulse: Zeda—Zedaph likes to walk around naked, though, so that's, that's— Tango: Alright, I gotta go faster than this. Impulse: That's, like, that's nothing new, y'know.

In season 3, the three of them are crossing a river into a grassy plains biome.

Tango: Oh, do we ge—are we gonna breed? Zed: Well. I mean, we might breed them.

They are on top of a mountain overlooking a spruce village, and Impulse watches Zed kill a snow golem in one hit.

Tango: —s of... iron. Impulse: Bam! Zed: Ha ha! Tango: Good job, good job. Impulse: You are—you are so strong, Zedaph. That was one hit.

Zed throws a snowball at Impulse's face.

Tango: Alright— Impulse: (laughs) Zed: Thank you. Tango: I'll— (laughs)

Impulse watches Zed standing next to a pair of skeletons in a cave entrance. The skeletons are standing very close together, and not attacking them.

Impulse: Zed? Zed: What are they doing? Tango: Go on, Zed! Just go up and swing your sword! Impulse: Are they—are they in love?

One of the skeletons moves into the daylight and catches fire.

Zed: Fine! Impulse: Are they in love with each other? Tango: (laughs) Zed: They're i— (laughs) They're in love. Impulse: (laughs) Aw, man!

They are in a cave, and Zed runs forward to kill a creeper that is focused on Impulse or Tango.

Zed: This creeper wants one of you guys so badly.

They are in a cave next to some furnaces. Zed walks up to Tango.

Zed: Bed me!

They are still in the cave. Impulse is looking through some furnaces.

Zed: (laughs) Tango: Am I sleeping with you g—am I— (in a deeper voice) Am I sleeping with you guys? Impulse: (laughs) Tango: Are we sleeping, or not, okay. Impulse: Gosh, you and your propositions this season! (laughs) Tango: (laughs)

Impulse kills a Drowned out in the ocean.

Tango: —here, waiting for something to spawn. Impulse: Ha ha! (with a French accent) Hon hon! Zed: Ooh! Tango: Oh, nice work! Impulse: I don't know why I got French all of a sudden. Tango: Oh, I see f—

The three of them are in a ravine in the Nether.

Impulse: There's no way we're gonna find a fortress like this. Zed: We do have to kill a pig—pigman. Tango: This is ridiculous.

Impulse walks a couple of blocks forward to look down the ravine, and spots a Nether fortress extending into the ravine.

Impulse: Oh— (laughs) hey, I found a fortress!

Tango is standing on land, with his inventory open.

Tango: (laughs) Hee hee. Zed: Just take a— (amused) You s—Michael Jackson. Okay, let's, um— Tango: (high-pitched, doing a Michael Jackson impression) Hee hee!

Impulse is in a boat in the ocean, following Zed, who is also in a boat.

Impulse: I'm looking at Zed. Yeah. Zed: You're looking at my... beautiful behind. Tango: Where did you guys go? Impulse: I'm lookin' at the back of your beautiful head, Zed.

Tango is walking up a narrow staircase to the acacia village house from season 1.

Tango: But now we got fifteen diamonds, is there anything else— I mean, we could save it for the hoes... Zed: (laughs) Impulse: Wait, what? Tango: (laughing) Oh, the hoes need the diamond! Impulse: Oh! (laughing) Tango: Ah, the jokes! The jokes, ah, they keep on rolling here, yup, uh huh. (laughing) Impulse: (still laughing) I was a little confused there for a minute! Zed: (laughing) What game are we playing? Impulse: Like, "what game are we playing?" (all laugh)

end VD/transcript.]

[hazelandglasz]

So I'm just watching "Thinking Out Loud" video and can you imagine this: Blaine as Ed, and Kurt as choreographer who came up with this dance. They have a late in night rehearsal and you can literally touch the tension between them. And then there's that one move, too close, too intimate and BOOM! they're kissing and oh I gave myself feelings *___*

Kurt still thinks it’s a prank as he opens the door to the studio.

There is no way that he has actually been called to choreograph Blaine Fucking Anderson’s latest video.

Not to look down on him and his dancing studio, it’s just a fact:

Stars of Blaine Anderson’s status don’t go to Brooklyn’s choreograph for a music video--they go to big names, famous dancers and acclaimed professionals.

Not … him.

But it is Blaine Fucking Anderson standing in the middle of a beautiful factory-turned-loft, wearing a somehow loose but fitting shirt--there is some kind of black magic at work here--and snug sweatpants that leave nothing to Kurt’s vivid imagination.

A blond man approaches Kurt, and he reads enough gossip magazines (shush, it’s a professional occupation) to recognize Blaine Anderson’s occasional lyricist and best friend, Sam Evans. “Mr. Hummel!” the man exclaims, shaking Kurt’s hand enthusiastically. “So glad you could make it.”

Kurt shakes his hand back and can’t help but smile at his energy. “I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else,” he replies, looking behind Sam at Blaine who is warming up with a look of focus.

Damn he’s attractive--no wonder he has so many fan groups.

Not that Kurt doesn’t have his own little group of followers on the different social media, but they do not compare with Blaine’s.

“I don’t know what Blaine has told you about this video,” Sam continues, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kurt’s brain freezes for a couple of seconds at that, because he assumed it was Blaine’s assistant, or manager, or anyone from his team who contacted him a week ago with a phonecall and the following email containing a melody for him to work upon.

But no.

It was Blaine himself.

Curiouser and curiouser.

“He didn’t tell me much, just that I should let my imagination run wild,” he replies  as they approach the singer.

“Kurt!” Blaine says, a light coat of sweat on his brow already. “I am all yours.”

Those are words Kurt will frame in his office, embroid on a handkerchief and carry to his grave.

“You said that you wanted a simple yet powerful performance to accompany the song,” he says, controlling his heartbeat and switching to full professional mode. “The music is very … expressive.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Blaine replies with a soft smile.

“I have some ideas we can discuss,” Kurt continues, taking his jacket off.

“I’d rather you show me.”

Kurt looks back at Blaine for a loaded moment--this is his field, after all, and Blaine has never included dancing in his performances, be it in videos or on stage.

Showing him Kurt’s ideas might be trickier than he seems to think.

But there is a challenge in his dark eyes, and Hummel men never back down from a challenge.

“Very well.”

---

Hours later, the Sun has set outside of the loft, and Sam has left them to work together.

It’s challenging, and Kurt’s shirt sticks to his chest, but it’s oh so rewarding to know that he has managed to create a choreography that conveys all the sexy undertones of the song without turning either the song or its creator in ridicule.

“One more time?”

Blaine is panting, and his cheeks are flushed, but he beams at Kurt nonetheless and nods at the technician that stayed with them to work on the lighting.

Blaine and Kurt go to stand on opposite side of the opened floor plan, and walk towards each other in time with the beat.

Kurt can picture it exactly, the way Blaine will look in a different outfit--maybe a three-pieces suit, or just a shirt and slacks, the shirt opened to show his neck and his clavicles …

He just doesn’t know who will be Blaine’s partner in the final video.

They find each other, and Blaine gently slides his fingers down Kurt’s arms.

Kurt is professional enough to hide it, but a shiver travels down his back nonetheless.

He goes away, but Blaine’s fingers close around his, and he pulls him back against his chest.

There is a height difference between them, sure, but Kurt can tell that Blaine understood the move, in the way he holds him.

The music continues, and they move in perfect sync to it, a sort of tango that is not completely one--it’s fun, and relaxed, even through the control they both use on their moves, and Kurt …

Kurt never wants this dance to end.

Blaine drops his hands, and Kurt reaches for them, making their fingertips touch in an exquisite way.

He smiles and finds Blaine smiling back at him, eyes dark and sparkling in the light shining down on them.

Blaine closes his fingers around Kurt’s hand, keeping them both up, and they start a waltz. The counting is all wrong, and it’s just a beat too fast, but it still fits the song, and Kurt falls a little bit more for the man in front of him.

In the course of the hours they spent together, Blaine stopped being Blaine Fucking Anderson, rockstar extraordinaire and the subject of many of Kurt’s nighttime fantasies.

No, he’s “just” Blaine, and Just Blaine would be enough to fulfill Kurt for a lifetime or two, he realizes that now.

Oh no.

As they sway to the music, Kurt can feel his heart sinking at his feet.

I fell in love with him without realizing it.

He twirls away and willing his fingers to stop trembling, places Blaine’s hand on his cheek.

Blaine is more serious, suddenly, eyes intently following Kurt’s move as he turns around and away and back to him.

When Blaine reaches to cup Kurt’s face, he’s supposed to keep moving into a repeat of the earlier sort-of tango move, but he pauses, and Kurt can’t remember how to breathe.

“Kurt …,” Blaine whispers, and are his eyes darker?

“Blaine,” Kurt replies, leaning into Blaine’s touch. “What--”

Whatever question Kurt was going to ask flies out of the window as Blaine’s lips press against his. It’s soft, but full of intent, full of potential fire, and Kurt gasps into it before kissing him back.

The response seems to open the gate, and Blaine kisses him passionately, unleashing the restrained strength that Kurt only imagined in his wildest dream.

Blaine keeps one hand on Kurt’s cheek, the tip of his fingers caressing the sensitive skin behind his ear, while the other one slides down his jaw, his neck, settling on his chest and pressing against Kurt’s heart.

Kurt reaches for Blaine’s waist, for his back, to bring him closer, reaches for his chin to tilt his head just so and, ah, there you are, deepens the kiss until he almost can’t tell where Blaine ends and where he starts.

Somewhere in the distance, they both hear a door closing on Unique, and that the music has stopped, but there doesn’t seem to be a force strong enough on the planet to stop them from kissing more, and more, and some more.

Blaine finally pulls away, breathing heavily as he rests his forehead against Kurt’s cheek. “I couldn’t …,” he starts, and Kurt’s fingers tighten on Blaine’s back. “I have wanted to do that from the moment you walked through that door.”

“Why did you call for me?” Kurt replies, looking at Blaine in the eyes.

The blush on Blaine’s cheeks darkens and for a second, Blaine looks away before straightening up. “I saw the videos from your studio,” he replies, “the different choreographies, the flashmobs, and I just--I wanted some of that energy, for myself, for my fans, to share it with the world. Through your dancing, you managed to move me, Kurt,” he continues, voice growing stronger, “and this video, this song, felt like the perfect opportunity to get you in my lif--hmph!”

Kurt surges forward before Blaine can finish his--admittedly--romantic statement, kissing him with more passion and more heat than before.

Which is saying something.

“We should,” Blaine says dazedly when they part, “we should rehearse.”

“I thought we were.”