#it seems appropriate to post these in the TIT year

[moonchair]

how not to survive

[missdynamighttt]

↳ ❝ HONEY.. COME BACK TO ME. PLEASE. ❞

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ synopsis: in which, you and your ex-boyfriend katsuki bakugou can't seem to resist each other no matter what. even if you're only supposed to be friendly at the class reunion party.

starring: pro hero! katsuki bakugou x ex-girlfriend! reader ⍣ ��

disclaimers!: mentions of handjobs and oral sex in 3rd year at ua, oral sex (f! receiving), tits fixation, penetrative / p in v sex, car sex / semi-public sex, unprotected sex, creampie 🤭

note: spoilers for chapter 431 (a little different in some parts), usage of "brat", "honey", "sweets", "woman", fem reader, mentions of izuocha, second chance romance trope, porn with plot, microscopic angst, credits to gsony for center pic in my banner, i love them sm^^hope i did our husband justice 💜💜

╰┈➤ ❝ [why is he here?] you murmur quietly, discreetly watching katsuki from a distance, seeing him quiet and grumpy, drinking with a few of his friends alongside izuku.

ochako raises an eyebrow with a grin, clearly amused at your turmoil with the pro hero. she nudges your arm, looking at you from the side. "he's a part of the class too, y'know."

"i know that," you huff, sighing as you land your drink down the table, glancing back at him before looking back at ochako with a frown. "just.. its hard."

of course it was hard to see great explosion murder god dynamight. your ex-boyfriend, no matter how hot he looks in his usual black attire, his big biceps straining against the material, his post-war scars framing his muscular, gorgeous physique.

even before the war, you and katsuki were a great couple, despite your constant bickering and petty arguments. it just led up to increasing sexual tension and great makeout sessions. maybe got handsy a few times and did.. oral stuff in your 3rd year together but no more than that.

it all just came crumbling down after graduation, when you two gradually spent less time together as work kept both of you away from each other. you both ended it on good terms only after a year of being pro-heroes, but that doesn't stop you from missing him. from wanting him, needing him.

katsuki felt the exact same way. even if he was nonchalant about it now, he was barely holding himself back from dragging you away from this party and kissing your face off until he made up with the time both of you spent away from each other. which, to him, seemed like forever.

throughout the years, the two of you did see each other frequently during patrols and in joint-cases, made appropriate civilized small talk, but never ever talked about getting back together. it wasn't that both of you didn't want to: it just wasn't the perfect time. unlike this setting, where the two of you could talk properly.

ochako sighs softly, a small sympathetic smile on her face. "he's just a man, sweetie. after this, you'll barely see him again."

you bite you bottom lip and nod, tugging on the skin. you knew she made a good point, its just.. well, it doesn't change the fact that katsuki's in near proximity.

you sigh, smiling softly at her. "yeah, i know," you grin, nudging her arm, gesturing your head to izuku. "enough about me, though. what about you and midoriya, huh?"

ochako widens her eyes a little at the mention of her old highschool crush, shakes her head profusely, clearly flustered as vibrant pink tinting her cheeks. "i-i haven't even talked to deku in awhile! its been so long ago.."

you scoff and roll your eyes, grab her shoulder, and shake them a little. "well, change that. c'mon, i saw him looking at you anyway. maybe the same way he did todoroki but at least he looked at you. that counts for something."

you could still see the reluctance in her eyes to go so you shake her arm again in encouragement. "gooo, i'll be here, drinking my problems away, rooting for you."

ochako shakes her head at you with a soft grin, clearly wanting to but shyness was holding her back.

"i suppose a hello wouldn't hurt," her grin widens, pressing her cheek against yours, mumbling a soft thank you. "wish me luck."

you wave at ochako, mouthing to her good luck, as she approaches izuku, watching their cute interaction from afar. they wave at each other like the young, shy high-schoolers they once were, chatting and laughing softly over something trivial. izuku then offers her to sit beside him.

izuku eyes katsuki with a grin, gesturing his head to leave. katsuki rolls his eyes, but stands up, giving his seat to ochako. like the little bitch fate is, katsuki approaches ochako's empty seat beside you, looking at you with a small grin.

"oh, you sly fucker," your eye twitches. you didn't know who to be mad at, izuku or his insufferable best friend, but you could see ochako looking at you in worry, mouthing a quick sorry before getting enveloped by izuku's conversation again.

you sigh, shaking your head. on the bright side, whats the worst that can happen?

you give katsuki a soft smile, waving weakly at him. your hand feels stiff from how nervous you are, shaking it under the table to shake off the nerves. "hi."

katsuki raises an amused eyebrow at you, wearing his signature snarky smirk. he nods, settling down in ochako's empty seat. "hey, brat."

as you sat next to him, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions. a pang of nostalgia, a flutter in your chest at the sight of him, and a hint of sadness at the memory of what could have been.

you took in his spicy cinnamon scent with smoky notes that you missed so much, the way his blonde hair was messily fixed, and his sardonic grin. it was hard to ignore the spark of longing, repeatedly chanting in your head that he was your ex for reason.

katsuki glanced over at you, eyes meeting for a brief moment. his crimson eyes catch the light of the room, making them glow like bloodstone. it made your stomach do backflips, forcing yourself to breathe.

”i’m surprised you actually came,” he says, his voice low and casual.

when he spoke again, the sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. it was the same voice that had whispered sweet nothings in your ear, the same voice that had laughed at your stupid, corny jokes, the same voice you had fallen asleep listening to on countless nights in the past.

you felt your palms begin to sweat but couldn't help but be a little pissed. it reminded you of what you said to ochako earlier, but still. "why wouldn't i? i'm in the class as much as you, aren't i?"

"don’t be a smartass,” he takes a sip of his drink, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. your eyes followed the movement, a wave of memories hitting like a tidal wave.

other classmates fanned out of the room as the night goes on, but katsuki took advantage of this, seperating you from them, keeping you all to himself.

he turned to face you fully, your knees touching with his for a moment as he shifted in his seat. the sudden contact made you inhale sharply, trying your best to keep your expression neutral.

"you look good," he said quietly, eyeing you up and down slowly, his gaze lingering on parts of your body that he clearly remembered well.

the warmth in your cheeks grew a little, clearing your throat, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. "thanks. wish i could say the same for you."

he raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. "is that how it’s going to be?”

"well, you look like you need a shave," you lied. he didn't.

"oh? i thought you liked it when i was a little scruffy, sweets," you absolutely fucking did. there was nothing you wanted more than to lean in and feel the stubble on his jaw, to remember the roughness of his cheeks while you made out him. while he spoils your neck with hickies. while his head is in between your thighs, kissing your clit-

"that was years ago," you avert your gaze from him, unable to look at him any longer without crumbling. why was he so fucking attractive? it's been seven goddamn years. don't ex-boyfriends get ugly after a break-up?

"why do i get the feelin' you've missed it, hm?"

"i don't. you're delusional."

"you're a real terrible liar, brat."

"lying about you being delusional?"

"lying about you not missin' this. missin' me," he reached out to you, his fingers brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. his touch was gentle as his knuckles grazed your cheek briefly. fuck.

"i don't.. i don't miss this. i don't miss you," you chew on the inside of your cheeks, trying to hold on to any semblance of composure you had. all the dignity you had was telling you to pull away but did you listen? fuck no.

"you're not very good at hidin' how much you want someone, sweets."

"quit it, katsuki. i said i don't."

"oh, that's real fuckin' funny. but i'll be clear," he chuckles deeply, a slow victorious smile on his face. you're starting to crack.

his hand slowly sliding towards your thigh, hidden from anyone else's view under the table. fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck. his closeness was already making it harder to think, the sensation of his touch only weakening your resistance.

"i'm done pretendin' i don't want you. so, honey, cut it out, because we both know you want me too."

your gaze widened, quickly biting down on your bottom lip, trying to stop yourself from saying anything stupid.

luckily, before you could even respond, the very man who put you in this situation, izuku approached with kirishima in tow.

"hey kacchan, would it be okay if we leave now? i have an early class tomorrow," izuku asks, not a care in the world that he interrupted something between you two.

katsuki was staring daggers at him though, because he had to pull his hand away from your plush thigh.

"yeah, i gotta hit the sack too, man," kirishima rubs the back of his neck, who knows hes interrupting something between the two of you but doesn't say anything about it.

but.. that doesn't mean he doesn't want to fuck around a little. kirishima looks at you with a friendly grin. "hey, wanna come with?"

you panic a little. another chance for katsuki to wreck your defenses? could you handle that?

"nah, i'd rather not disturb, i'll just wait for a cab-"

"the fuck you're not. you're not takin' a cab, brat. i'm drivin' you home," katsuki spat, his tone leaving no room for argument.

the ride home was pleasantly quiet in a way that wasn't uncomfortable. the atmosphere was a bit tense, but it was manageable.

you found yourself in the passenger seat of his black porsche 911 gt3 rs, not because you wanted to, but because according to katsuki:

"you better sit your ass down here or i swear to god, woman, i'll pin you down this chair myself."

so, it left izuku and kirishima in the backseat that seemed to drown them (comfortably). you didn't utter a single word during the drive, merely listening to their conversation, occasionally cracking a small smile and chuckling at their banter.

the silence thickened again when katsuki dropped kirishima and izuku off, leaving the two of you alone in the quiet car.

okay, you needed a game plan. keep quiet, do not give in, and do not fuck him-

"i missed you, y'know," he murmurs, his eyes still focused on the road.

his words caught you off guard, startled you. you missed him too. so fucking much. but the words got stuck in your throat, pride and fear holding you back. you try to keep your emotions in check, keeping quiet and not giving in according to your game plan-

"too fuckin' much. pisses me off. started to bother kirishima too," he lets out a frustrated sigh, his grip on the steering wheel tightening a little, his knuckles turning white. "plagues the shit out of me. that i think about you almost everyday at the most random fuckin' times, its terrifying."

he glances at you briefly, sighing before focusing his eyes back on to the road, running his free hand through his blond hair. "honey, talk to me."

"...what do you want me to say, katsuki?"

"just.. tell me what you're thinkin', okay? what you're feelin'. the fuckin' truth, goddamn it, don't shut me out."

fucking hell. it was just so easy to give in to your feelings, to tell him how much you missed him. how much you wanted to be with him again. but you were afraid — afraid of having to start the healing process all over again.

but.. that didn't stop you from bearing your heart out.

"you want the truth?" you turn your head to face him. "fine."

"it haunts me that you're the first thing i think of whenever i'm overjoyed with something or whenever i have a bad day. that whenever my friends ask if we could eat something spicy, i think of you. can't tell you the multiple times i had to hold myself back from hitting the send button to your old number."

"i missed you too, katsuki. more than i thought. hell, more than i should. you never left my mind, no matter how many times i tried to tell myself that you did."

katsuki remained silent for a while, his mind obviously occupied with your confession as he watched the road. it made you panic a little. was it too much?

but then, without warning, he makes a quick turn, swerving off the main road and into a nearby parking lot like his life depended on it.

it catches you off guard as the car suddenly lunges forward, making you hold on to the side of the car door. he parks the car in a secluded corner, away from any prying eyes.

"what are you doing?" you asked, still taken aback from what happened as you watch him unbuckle his seatbelt.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" his eyebrow arched, as if the answer should be obvious.

without waiting for a response, he reclines your seat for more space. he unbuckles your seatbelt before climbing over, hovering over you. "gonna get what i fuckin' want. and right now, sweets, that's you."

you swallowed hard, his words and closeness sending a shiver down your spine. you could feel yourself getting hotter with every second that passed, your body aching for his touch.

but you were still reluctant. even with your thighs clenched together, your core felt like a pool of hot, wet need. and he could tell.

katsuki's frustration was evident. he lets out a deep sigh, leaning his head against your neck, inhaling your scent, barely trying to hold himself back from doing anything drastic.

"honey.. come back to me. please."

his voice was thick with pathetic need, a raw desperate desire for you burning in him.

fuck.

you know you should put up a fight, should try and resist him. but your body was aching for him.

and you really, really, couldn't fucking care less.

the moment your palms caress his cheeks, katsuki's eyes flutter shut, and he leans into your touch, sighing. you can feel him shiver under your fingertips, his body burning with longing. as your eyes meet his, a flash of raw desire flickers across his face.

and then, it's as if a dam breaks.

he leans in, his lips crashing into yours in a fierce, desperate kiss. his mouth is hot and eager against yours, his tongue slipping past your lips in a possessive, needy gesture.

katsuki's hands find your waist, strong and sure, pulling you closer as if the space between you is unbearable. you could feel his dick pressed up in between your legs, almost trembling with the intensity of his need.

your fingers slide up into his hair, tangling in the soft, unruly strands as you deepen the kiss. he groans against your mouth, the sound low and guttural, sending a shiver down your spine. his lips move against yours like he’s trying to memorize every curve, every taste.

when he pulls back, just enough for his forehead to rest against yours, his breath comes in ragged gasps, mingling with your own. his crimson eyes, half-lidded and heavy with desire, bore into yours.

“don’t think for a second that im done with you,” he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse. “you're not gettin' outta here until i've had my fill of you, sweets."

he grins, chuckling darkly. "or should i say.. until i've filled you up."

when he grinds his hips harder against yours, you can't help the gasp that escapes your lips. the feeling of his dick pressing against you makes your head spin, desire pooling in your wet cunny. fuck, was he always that big?

"oh, fuck," he inhales, almost hissing. "you feel that, sweets? hm? feel how hard my dick is, just for you?"

your bit you bottom lip, your head nodding slightly in response. your breath hitches when his hand reaches for in between your legs, inching up your skirt, rubbing his thumb against your damp panties.

"look at you, already such a fuckin' wet mess," he coos, a predatory grin on his face, glancing between your clothed, wet cunt and your flushed look. "haven't even started yet. you that eager for me, sweets?"

"stop being such a fucking tease and just.." your cheeks burn, embarassed, turning your head to the side. "fuck me."

"oh, i plan to sweets, don't worry," his voice low and sultry, tugging on the elastic of your panties, pulling them down your thighs. "wanna taste you first. haven't tasted this sweet fuckin' pussy in a long, long time."

"katsuki.. what if someone sees us?"

"honey.. i don't fuckin' care."

katsuki had brought you to the backseat of his car, stripped you off your skirt and panties and had your legs spread out like he needed to taste you or he'd die.

katsuki flicked his tongue at your clit, licking up your sweet, wet slick, feeling you squirm and mewl from under him. your legs were practically begging to be close shut, but he forced your legs open with his big, strong arms, both of his hands holding either side of your thighs.

"fuck, sweets, you taste so good," he groans against your folds, the intoxicating scent of your sweet cunt flooding his thoughts. "so fuckin' wet.."

you could hear the squelching sound of his tongue lap at your pussy, the lewd sound of his saliva and your slick turning you on. you took off your top and unhooked your bra, tossing it somewhere in the car. you played with your tits, pinching your nipples as you watched him ate your pussy like it was his last, delicious meal on earth.

"katsuki," you mewled, breath hitching as he fucks you with his skilled tongue.

"what, too much?" katsuki rasped, enjoying how you responded to his touch.

you nodded, already seeing stars.

he grunts, biting your inner thigh before chasing your orgasm again. "fuck that. missed this tight wet pussy of yours too much. can't believe you kept this sweet thing from me for so long..."

"katsuki," you moan his name, you grip on a handful of his hair, embarassed, almost going cross-eyed. he was eager to give you his all, it was slightly overwhelming. but you needed him. "too much, too much..."

"take it all for me, yeah, sweets?" katsuki grunts, raising the pace of his tongue, earning whimpering noises from you. "i know you can, c'mon. makin' my dick so fuckin' hard just watchin' you, holy shit.."

katsuki continues his delirious advance on your cunt, his perverted appetite for you making him so fucking horny. his cock twitches in his pants from the arousing act, throbbing from all the gluttony he was feeling. he couldn't get enough of it. he acted like a man starved and he needed all of you to quench his craving.

not that he'd ever stop craving you.

"katsuki, 'm about to-" you wail about your climax. your walls tighten around his tongue, your hips squirming from under him. you push your cunt against his face, wanting more friction.

"cum for me, sweets, c'mon," he continued to lap at your wet, sloppy mess. "need to taste you so fuckin' bad."

"fuck, fuck!" you squeal, moaning loudly as you painted his tongue white, shattered breathing as your chest heaved up and down.

katsuki doesn't waste another second, burying his face in between your legs as he glides his tongue across your pussy at a quick pace, savoring it all and riding out your orgasm. your legs shake from the overstimulation he was doing, whimpering from the way his tongue feels. he looks at you greedily, his cock agitated as his carnal desire to fuck you until your legs shaking burns more in him.

"'m so proud of you, sweets. c'mere, come gimme a kiss," he moves closer to you, his touch gentle and affectionate as he caresses your cheek before pressing his lips against yours in a kiss. you could almost taste yourself on his tongue.

his kisses are slow and gentle, his fingers find your nipples, pinching them as your fingers find their way into his hair.

he pulls away from you, panting and sweating, quickly stripping himself of his clothes, tossing them somewhere in the car.

he tugs his boxers down and pulls his cock out, already dripping with pre-cum before pulling you back in for a sloppy, desperate kiss. fuck, you don't remember it being that big.

you could feel his erection, his cock cushioning your wet cunt, his throbbing tip kissing your stimulated clit, just begging to be inside of you.

"you ready for me, right, sweets?" he murmurs, in between your tongues clashing together, waiting for your nod. he dips a finger inside you, making you moan. "look at this fuckin' pussy, could just slip in and bury my dick deep inside of you..."

"please," you plead, your voice soft and trembling, a pout tugging at your lips. you're needy and desperate, the words spilling out in a breathy whine. "i need you... so bad."

"god, you're killin' me here sweets," he took a deep breath, panting for air. "you sure?"

you took a shaky breath, your eyes meeting his. "yes. please... i want this, i want you."

your words broke the last thread of his restraint. in an instant, he closed the distance, his lips crashing onto yours with unrelenting intensity. as if you were his only source of salvation.

katsuki's hands found your waist as he grips on you firmly, guiding you onto his lap and positioning you to straddle him with an effortless, commanding strength. he was desperate, completely consumed by the need for you, his longing obliterating any trace of rational thought.

katsuki positions his dick inside of your pussy, groaning as he watches you mewl, disappearing inside of you and stretching your walls painfully. yet you still felt the raw need for him.

"katsuki," you pant as you sat on his cock, adjusting as you dangle your arms by his shoulders. "fuck me, pl-"

he doesn't even let you finish, carrying you briefly before slamming you down on his cock, feeling your pussy clamp down on him again and again.

"you look so pretty like this, sweets, fuck," he looks up at you in awe. his moves his mouth is on your tits, sucking on your nipple.

you take it all with a wail, closing your eyes in blissful pleasure as the tip of his cock kisses your walls.

"oh my fuckin' god, i love you so fuckin' much, sweets. holy shit. and this fuckin' pussy too. you know that, don't you?" he asks, his crimson eyes gazing into yours, tension filling the small corners of the car.

"yeah," you nod, your skin heating up, stammered breaths as his cock was stretching you, abusing your warmth.

"then say it back."

"no wa-"

you scream as katsuki humps you down on his cock mercilessly, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you struggle to take him. your hips squirm against the girth and length of his cock abusing your hole to its satisfaction.

"katsuki!" his name slips out of your lips, letting out a wanton moan as his deep, hungry thrusts buck inside you out of spite. "sl-slow down..."

"hell fucking no."

"katsuki, please!"

"not until you say it back."

"fucking- fine! i love you, okay?" you mewl at the pain, but at the same time it made you feel so so good.

"say it again, didn't hear it," he taunts, his thrusts still deep and desperate enough capable of making you cream on his cock.

"i said, i love you!" you panted, whimpering from his hips snapping into yours.

"that's my girl," katsuki grins, letting his hand travel to caress your cheek before pulling you in for a messy, sloppy kiss.

you feel your cunny coil of essence, chasing your climax desperately with him at the last few thrusts.

you pull away from him, panting. "katsuki, fuck, gonna cum again..."

"mhm, gonna cum too, sweets," he grunts, thrusting into your cunt sloppily. "cum with me, yeah?"

you pant out of bliss, nodding. his hips snap into yours as he thrusts into your cunt harder, dripping of your shared slicks.

you mewl as shockwaves of pleasure hit you, throwing your head back as your tight, white walls clench around his cock. katsuki groans, his hips stuttering as he cums inside of you, a creamy frothy ring of white wrapped around the base of his cock as it kisses your folds.

both of you lay intertwined together, bodies tangled and panting together, breaths mingling, basking in the quiet warmth of each other's presence.

you pout up at him, delivering a playful slap to his cheek before sinking into his arms with a huff. "you're so mean."

katsuki chuckled deeply, the sound low and teasing. he didn't seem offended by your light hit, he seemed more amused by it.

"oh, please, you love me," he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer against his chest. he nuzzled into your hair.

his body relaxed somewhat as he held you. he couldn't help but marvel at how easily you fit against him, how well your body molded to his.

"i've missed having you in my arms, you know," he admires you, tugging a strand of your hair. "it's been... goddamn painful."

you bite your bottom lip, a deep sense of understanding in the sympathetic smile that tugs at the corners of your lips. you hold his gaze, knowing intimately the emotions that swirl within him. "i know, hon. me too."

the softness in his eyes is palpable as the pet name you had for him washes over him, a hint of vulnerability there that he rarely shows. he hides his face in the curve of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. "honey, i never wanna let go of you again."

you raise an eyebrow, a cheeky grin on your face as you tenderly caress his cheek, your gaze locking with his.

"i'm not going anywhere."

he looks up at you, returning your grin. his lips then gently meets yours in a soft, lingering kiss.

"good. i wouldn't let you even if you tried."

‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia! ]✧˚₊‧ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧

⋆˚࿔ tags (blogs who requested/ commented / reblogged on teaser): ˚⋆ @pikachuzhc @dragonscribble @obitosdefencelawyer @oladelmars @dietc0ke-stomach @liliththedxmon @junehasnotbeenfound @kaizuzuzu @babylambdietcoke @bri-licious08 @itadoriwife @katsukiglazerrr @secretlilli @trishiepo0 @akitafox @un-limit-edd @kalulakunundrum @krbkswifey @orangeheliophile @kenqki @thisbicc @augustraine @lisbethw @vikizzy @king-dynamight @legendarybatherringmonger @srcyy @moonlightwriter

⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ was overwhelmed with how much attention the teaser was getting, EVEN ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS LIKED THE POST @cathnospam ILYSM YOURE MY HERO. feedback/constructive criticism is always welcome!! i was working on my thesis defense (accepted!!) while writing this so i apologize for the delay and if theres any grammatical errors^^ i am beyond grateful to all of you and i hope you enjoyed reading the epitome of me being horny for katsuki🥹🥹

[geniusphilester]

it occurred to me that a bingo card often has twenty-five squares, and we're going into 2025, so it seemed appropriate to go a little OTT with my phan-in-2025 predictions! i had a better vision for the bingo board's look than the actual predictions, but here's what i came up with.

PH column:

dog hill: might be cheating to include this one considering the extensive breadcrumbing, but i’m adding it anyway.

sims science baby: my chaotic predictions last year had dab and evan + a science baby. i’m rolling it over to 2025.

jan promo metaphor: if dan and phil do any tour promo leading up to the next leg of TIT, we’ll get another promo metaphor. i’m convinced it'll be before phil’s birthday, but i put “january” as a whole because it fit better.

TIT recording: i just need to see TIT again as much as i want, okay!!!

date night: another easy one, but i love when they go out and i love when we get photos of it, so this is specifically “we’ll get photos of a general outing”. while i’ll count tour stuff in a pinch, i’m more thinking something post-tour. like, something around london or maybe brighton.

i column:

goodbye twitter: i think dan will at least test the waters off twitter, probably on bluesky. i would love if they fully crossposted/just did announcements on twitter, but i’ll count any further moves off twitter for this one.

phil novel: i kind of love the thought of phil writing a long, fictional story during tour. is it likely? probably not. do i want an embarrassing sex scene that phil reads in the audiobook? absolutely.

april fool’s phwedding: okay, look. i don’t actually think they’re getting married. but if they got engaged or fully hitched, they would announce it on april fool’s day and not clarify if they’re kidding. after nbsii and onlyphans, how else could they escalate? (i’m scared to learn the potential answer.) they would only talk about it on april fool’s day and we’d never hear about it from them again.

dan bday stream: the chances of a phil birthday stream seem low to me, unless they do it early or late. i think a dan birthday stream is more likely, especially if they take a decent break after tour (especially with a puppy) (puppy stream!!!).

dil dies briefly: sims 4 life and death has expanded death features, including funerals and reincarnation. while i think it’s more likely they’ll focus on dab + evan and dalien in the near future, i bet dan loves the idea of actually killing dil while still keeping him around.

n column:

dan hair: i just want him to grow it out! a shaggier mullet would be great, but i want fully chin-length hair, especially with his waves.

tops only model: i’m sure this one looks weird, but i thought it would be funny if they commissioned PJ to build them a model of a tops only bar. or if some random phannie did it on roblox, and they visited it.

free (hard launch): this is technically a free space that i’ll be able to use no matter what. my feelings on the hard-launch concept are too complicated for a post like this. but if they announce their relationship in a way that randos outside the phannie ecosystem would consider more official, that will also be this space.

it takes two: while i specifically want more it takes two, i just want a multipart narrative game series. something like deltarune would also count.

phil tattoo: phil got really close to getting a tattoo before! if he had a less-potentially-offensive idea, i think it could really happen in 2025.

g column:

concert: what it says on the square. it could be something like dan seeing mcr, or both of them caring about oasis? (i would say muse, but i don’t think they’re touring right now.)

sister daniel retires: i hope i don’t use this square! but i could understand dan taking a break from her for a little while.

produce a game: my original thought was funding a video game about themselves, somewhat akin to danandphilbeats. but then i realized a board/card game would be more likely. so one or both of those.

phil tiktok (maybe): phil goes viral on tiktok. this one’s a maybe because i think it would only happen if tiktok survives in the US; he has time before it's likely to disappear, but not much, and he’ll be doing shows for some of it. not that the US is the only surviving pillar of tiktok! phil just has a substantial audience in the US, which i think would help with virality.

couples costume 2.0: i liked their aziraphale-crowley costumes, but i think we can level up in 2025. jedus?

o column:

philming room: i want to know why phil stopped filming in the room with the murphy bed, and i bet we’ll either get some kind of answer or a return to the room in 2025.

overseas vacation: something that isn’t tour! like another japhan. i wouldn’t count anything tacked onto the end of TIT unless someone who didn’t tour with them comes along.

gamingmas: i just missed gamingmas this year, so i’d love another one! i would gladly take another spooky week with or instead of gamingmas, though. or dilmas.

isle of man pic: i want to see both dan and phil on isle of man visiting phil’s parents again. is that so much to ask?

dan on drag race: i don’t even know if there’s a drag race he would be invited on, but i want to see it!

[romanreadsbooks]

Nightmare Before Kissmas by Sara Raasch - Review

TL;DR

4.6 Stars

Pros: loveable cast, surprisingly complex political system, perfect mix of silly and serious

Cons: puns abound, pace of post-confession relationship, absurd levels of PDA, representation

Continue the Series? Yes

Spoilers in review? Technically minor spoilers? But it's a romance book, we all know how it ends

Opinions going in/why I picked it up:

I had just finished reading a lot of literary fiction covering heavy topics: Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka which covers the death penalty and the glorification of serial killers(5 stars), and My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell which covers pedophilia/grooming and their long lasting effects on victims (also 5 stars)

After all that I desperately needed something silly and goofy. I bought this book way back in early October with the intention of reading it between Halloween and Christmas. I, in fact, did not do that and instead started it New Year's Day.

Additionally, I saw a TikTok video where it was that Read White and Royal Blue audio

"My life is the crown and yours is politics, and I will not trade one cage for the other."

"Look, I'm sorry I looked at Mrs. Riley and lightly grazed her left tit, alright? "

And after reading this book, I cannot think of a more apt description for the two romantic leads of this book.

Likes:

The biggest unexpected delight of this book was the fascinating politics of this world Raasch created.

To give some loose context, in this book, every holiday is essentially run by a family, from Christmas to Easter to Saint Patrick's Day. Our main character, Nicholas "Coal" Claus, is the Prince of Christmas and expected to inherit the role of Santa from his father. All Holidays seem to have a similar setup, but the ways in which they interact with each other are when things get interesting.

From arranged marriages to political hostages, strategic collectives to strong-armed allies, this 'silly little romance' book had much more meat on the bones than I had expected. And to put so incredibly bluntly, I am an absolute *slut* for well-crafted politics in books.

Additionally, I absolutely ADORED all of the characters in this book. Both Coal and his Prince of Halloween lover, Hex Hallows, were putting me at risk of a heart attack with how cute they were.

And Coal's dynamic with his younger brother, Kris, was incredibly heartwarming. It's the typical protective and caring big brother schtick but I absolutely ate it up. I won't give specifics for obvious reason but near the end, in their confrontation with their father?? If Coal hadn't already won my heart earlier in the book, he would have won it in that singular moment.

And our last main character! I especially enjoyed the character arc of Iris, the Easter Princess and Coal's (arranged) betrothed. She really comes into her own over the course of the book. I was really hoping that she would be the focus of the next book, but alas.

The writing was surprisingly poetic at times and decidedly silly at other times. For the lighter parts of the book, it's not exactly my style of humor, but I had a good time regardless. For the heavier parts though? It not only made me feel strong emotions, it also had me considering new ways of thinking about trauma and family dynamics.

Dislikes:

Listen, I like a good pun every now and again --love them even, but my god there were a lot of Christmas puns in this book. They're were mostly limited to corny holiday sweaters, but still an abundance of them, especially towards the beginning.

The lead up into Coal and Hex admitting their feelings was appropriately slow given the length of this book (~350 pages), but after the confession? My God these men are going a mile a minute. It's odd because in the spicy-er scenes Coal is very careful and wants to take things slow, but the in-world time from confession to 'I love you' was incredibly quick. They are only like 22-ish, but still.

On top of all that, their public displays of affection were just absurd. It was less the instances where their touches or words could be lost in a crowd, and more the over-the-top flirting and suggestive remarks in front of Iris and Kris. I don't know what other people's sibling relationships are like, but I would rather drop dead than talk sexy to my partner in front of my brother.

And then with Hex, specifically, I was a little confused about his lineage. My understanding is that his mother was part of the Dia de los Muertos Holiday and married into the Halloween family and he currently resides in Mexico City where he attends university. He also speaks Spanish a couple of times in the book. All this combined, I'd assume he would be give-to-take half-Latino, but he is literally described as a mix of "a vampire and Loki" so I'm not as sure now.

I am aware that Latino and White are not mutually exclusive, but it felt like it was worth pointing out. I will leave it to someone with the appropriate heritage to determine whether this representation was good or not.

Other Notes:

There are, if memory serves me well, only two sex scenes in this book. Neither are particularly descriptive. I don't think they even refered to either characters genitalia by name (no use of penis, ass, cock, dick, etc.). It was all very vague, which could be a good or bad thing depending on the reader.

That said, there is important character information discussed in the sex scenes so I would not recommend skipping them.

I don't particularly care one way or the other, but it did make it difficult to tell what was going on at some points. However, if sex scenes are included (and it's not a dark romance) I do expect for it to be at least semi-accurately done. I am still unsure if proper "preparation" was performed with how vaguely the scenes were written.

This book contains both group chats and pop culture references, which aren't my personal favorite, but they weren't bad enough to mention in the dislikes section.

And the marketing for this book compares it to Casey McQuiston's Red White and Royal Blue, and while it's not a bad comparison at all in terms of premise, I think it's more like Jenna Lavine's novels in writing style and characterization. She's a less popular author than McQuiston, but if you like Lavine's level of silly, you'll love this.

Final Thoughts and Rating Breakdown:

I ended up getting much more than I bargained for in the best way possible. Is it the most well-crafted piece of literature the world has ever seen? No, of course not. However, it blends fun characters, a whimsical atmosphere, and an interesting non-romance plot in ways that not a lot of other romance books can.

Characters: 9

Atmosphere: 9

Writing: 9

Plot: 10

Intrigue:10

Logic: 9

Enjoyment: 10

Dialogue:8

Total: 9.3/10 or 4.6 Stars

[drunkenskunk]

@maddyaddy brings up a pretty good point, and highlights that "manageable" was probably the wrong word to use here. In my defense: I was pretty high on painkillers at the time.

(Also I genuinely forgot about the War of the Beast)

With the benefit of hindsight and sobriety (I am currently at the Day Job, after all) I think a much better and more appropriate phrase/idea for what I was trying to convey is that those things are all "known quantities."

Like, sure, things would get very bad at times, either due to things genuinely being horrible or made worse due to the Imperium's own incompetence. The War of the Beast, the Age of Apostasy, the 12 other Black Crusades before the 13th, the...

... actually, now I think of it, was there any major Imperium/Eldar conflict post Eye of Terror? I genuinely can't remember if there is one or not.

The point I was trying to make, I guess: for just under 10,000 years, the Imperium dealt with things it knew about and had context for. The Orks, no matter how bad or how big a WAAAGH! gets, are a known quantity. The forces of Chaos, Traitor Legions, renegade chapters, and regular people rebelling because the Imperium is a totalitarian xenophobic theocratic hellhole of a fascist state; these are known quantities. Even the Eldar, from Craftworld to Exodites to Dark Eldar to Corsairs to Harlequins... they are a known quantity under the blanket heading of "Eldar," since most of the Imperium of Man probably wouldn't know or care about the vast differences between those groups. Hell, they probably don't know or care about the various cultural differences between different Craftworlds; they're creepy, cryptic, mysterious space elves. And while you may not know their motives, the Eldar themselves are a known quantity.

And then, in a relatively short time period (at least comparatively, on a scale of thousands of years) a whole bunch of new threats and dangers emerge, seemingly put of nowhere, for which the Imperium has absolutely no context. And, at the same time, all the stuff it does have context for seems to be getting significantly worse than it's been in thousands of years, and all of this happening all at at once.

It's like... imagine you're spinning several plates, right? It's difficult, and it takes you a very long time to get the hang of it, but eventually, you fall into a rhythm. And even though it looks like you're going to slip several times, you somehow manage to keep going by the skin of your teeth. And then, without any warning, you're asked to spin twice as many plates as before, and also these new plates are on fire, and you're also being shot at, while at the same time an earthquake hits and the house you're standing in is about to be eaten by a swarm of angry locusts.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to give the Imperium any credit here. They're a totalitarian xenophobic theocratic hellhole of a fascist state as I said before, and they suck. But it does kind of feel like it makes sense, given all of that, why everything has gone tits up so quickly. Even if they weren't a totalitarian etc etc, I feel like all that shit happening all at once would cause significant problems.

Then again, if the Imperium wasn't as terrible as it is, we'd have no setting, and a decent chunk of those problems wouldn't actually be problems.

Maybe.

I dunno, I'm just some asshole on the internet who spends way too much time thinking about 40k, because I got the Warhammer Autism instead of the Good At Math Autism lmfao

So, I'm laying in bed, waiting for the painkillers to kick in, with an ice pack strapped to my knee, and I'm letting my mind wander. And I'm thinking about Warhammer 40k, because of course I am, this is what I do when I'm bored and in pain.

While laying here, I got to thinking: when were the first "official" conflicts between humanity and the all the other Xenos factions? So I'm just delirious enough to be like "let's figure this shit out."

And I'm already needing to start off with a mulligan, because the Orks, the Eldar, and the daemons of Chaos have always been ubiquitous in the Warhammer galaxy ever since humanity first walked upright, so trying to pin down "first contact conflict" is a mugs game. It would all be pre-Dark Age of Technology. Who the fuck knows for sure.

So who else is there: in terms of "major" Xenos factions (that is: armies with a codex), we got the Tyranids, the Tau, the Necrons, and the Leagues of Votann. Which is less than I hoped, but about what I expected for James "SPESS MEHREEN" Workshep.

So: the Tyranids. The First Tyrannic War was in 745.M41. However: if we really want to be specific and pedantic (and I do), then the first time the Imperium ran into the Tyranids was "sometime" around 500.M41 when genestealers were first encountered on the moons of Ymgarl. Then again, I'm not actually sure we should count that, considering that the Imperium wouldn't even make that connection themselves until much later.

Next: the Tau. Technically first "contact" was in 789.M35, when an AdMech explorator ship, Land's Vision, found the planet that would eventually be named Tau, and recorded a primitive species that had mastered simple tools and fire. But because that planet became inaccessible due to a warp storm, and the records got lost in the chaos of the Age of Apostasy, we (again) probably shouldn't count that. First real conflict was the Damocles Crusade, between 742.M41 and 745.M41... and it only ended because the Tyranids showed up.

Moving on: the Necrons. Technically, they've been "around" even longer than the Eldar. But they've mostly all been fucking asleep in their tomb worlds, except for a select few who woke up early (looking at you Trazyn). So, really, if we're ignoring shit like Szarekh the Silent King returning from his self imposed exile in response to the Tyranids showing up (are we noticing a pattern here?), first "official" conflict with the Imperium was the Sanctuary 101 massacre in 897.M41.

And finally: the Leagues of Votann. And, again: they've been "around" for who knows how long. It's heavily implied that their generation ships left Earth for the galactic core before even the Dark Age of Technology. But they mostly kept to themselves and didn't venture outside the holds in the galactic core until Cadia exploded and the Cicatrix Maledictum cut the galaxy in half, forcing them to leave. Finally, an "alien" faction being introduced to the setting that has nothing to do with the fucking Tyranids.

And, y'know... looking at all that? That really does kinda put in perspective why everything seems to have gone to shit in 40k, doesn't it?

Between the end of the Horus Heresy in 014.M31 and the start of the Damocles Crusade in 742.M41, the only things the Imperium of Man had to really worry about were Orks, Eldar, daemons, and renegades/traitors. Like, none of that is great (and a lot of it is self inflicted), but that kind of setup seems manageable. The Eldar never show up in huge numbers, and daemons require incredibly specific circumstances to even manifest outside The Warp. Hell, even the Orks for most of that time are basically just a nuisance, since a warboss on the scale of Urlakk Urg wouldn't be seen till Ghazgkull. Really, the most dangerous thing the Imperium had to worry about during that stretch of time was regular humans rebelling (rightfully so) in the face of the Imperium being a nightmarishly oppressive theocratic fascist state.

That's 10,000 years or so that you could almost call relatively stable, where the vast majority of issues were problems that it inflicted on itself. Business as usual.

AND THEN

In the span of just over 250 years, there's several wars with the Tau, the Tyranids show up over and over again, the Necrons start waking up, and... then the Leagues of Votann are also here now lol

Something, something, decades where nothing happens, and weeks where decades happen, etc.

[kkusuka]

Y/n and either Ushijima, Suna or Sugawara ((I couldn’t decide so you pick 😫)) put paint on themselves and then fuck on a canvas to hang up in there house. Nobody would ever know that the art they were just admiring was made by Y/n and him having seggs 😂😂

✨Puppy🤩

i’m gonna do Toshi and Rin because i couldn’t think of something for suga, if i do i might post something for him bc i really like the prompt lol

ushijima wakatoshi <3

at times he hated the fact the collage required him to take an art class. he was there on a full scholarship for volleyball, not art.

most of the time he didn’t care all that much, he could draw and use the class pastels for an hour two days a week. and he was no Picasso but he was passing so that was all he could ask for.

well that’s what he thought until about an hour ago when he remembered that his midterm, what will be 40% of his semester grade, was due in the morning. it was fairly open, only had a few restrictions, it had to be on a 36’x48’ canvas and must have a single medium, he chose paint because it seemed easy at the time.

well now he was sitting in front on the white canvas, mind completely void of creative inspiration, and he had practice in two hours. making things about one-thousand times worse was that his social media was full of women painting their nudes, a trend he knew you had tried.

“toshi? you’ve been sitting there for forty-five minutes, are you ok?”

the idea hit him like a truck, his teacher said they could do whatever they wanted and that’s what he was going to do.

“y/n? will you help me out for a few minutes?” he inquired, drawing your body into the room.

you never really knew what ushijima was thinking, his stone cold facade didn’t spare you in times like this. though you could see the burning in his eyes as he waved you over where he had gotten sky blue and violet cans of paint.

without a word, you watched had he began to tug your sweats down your legs.

“whoa! what are you doing?” he just picked up some of the paint before looking up to you.

“i’m going to fuck you on it.” his stated as if he was talking about ordering lunch. not waiting for your reply he smeared the blue onto the front of your thighs along your full legs.

“take of your shirt.” doing what he said he immediately began rubbing the paint onto your stomach, throughly coating your breasts, twisting your nipples and the skin underneath, all the way up to the base of your neck.

he turn you by your waist, pressing your body to the canvas that was hanging along the wall.

you would ask him if this was appropriate, but you didn’t have a chance before he was opening your folds and pushing his tip int your cunt.

“you’re wet already? all i’ve done was put paint on you, are you that much of an unstable whore?” his words and how unfazed he sounded sent another wave of heat down your walls. snapping his hips to your sent you furthers into the now colors portion of your art.

“toshi, not— not to hard-“ a smack to your ass accompanied with a harsh thrust your your cervix shut you up.

his dick was carving its was into your walls, you’d been dating for years but he made you feel like a virgin.

you were never out that the weight of his thrusts would rip the canvas, you worries thrown from your mind as his dick hit the sweet spot in your depths, squirting your cum into his thighs. halting his thrusts you felt a cold, wet substance drip over you back. you felt the pads of his fingers rub it all over your back before moving his hands to your hips, giving you a glimpse of the blue coating his palms.

“you don’t think we’re done do you?” he mocked, pulling you off his for a split second before pressing your back to your masterpiece, the blue joining your mess of purple, “i haven’t cum yet so out painting is not completed.”

suna rintarou <3

“there you go messy slut! go ahead rub those pretty tits on the board,” suna’s mocking words were accompanied with a flick of your clit, “you want everyone to know what we did on this don’t you?”

he had brought up the idea after seeing something like it on instagram, but he really just wanted physical proof that he was the best fuck you’ll ever get.

“rin-ri- i, please!”

“oh baby, this is going to look so pretty. i’m gonna hang it in our living room so everyone can see it! they’ll have no idea but whenever you see it you’ll remember how i fucked you dumb.” he sneered, pushing your torso further into the canvas.

his cock plunged in and out of your hole garnered with the wet slaps of skin. grabbing your hair to pull your head back he forced you to look at him as you came around his cock, him following in suit.

•••

“that’s a really cool painting where’d y’all get it?”

oh aran, why did you have to ask in a room full of people? you had decorations handing all around your house and he asks about the one thing you can’t explain without stuttering.

“me and y/n made it together, right? it was so much fun.” suna chimed from across the room where he was speaking with kita and osamu.

“yeah honey, we did!” you smiled, faking a laugh while observing the multiple disruption in the paint from where you had dropped wetness onto the board.

•

tags: @bakugos-cumsock

[tainbocuailnge]

cascu odin configuration speculations rough bullet points bc itll be only a month until we get answers edition

its extremely unlikely that he was just odin all along bc the way cu talks to archer in first order just makes no goddamn sense if he’s not cu, their connection isn’t something you could extrapolate from cu’s myths to impersonate him. like i literally don’t consider this an option if only because i simply do not think type moon disrespects its fans enough to pull a six year long bait and switch with one of their most popular characters. also itd be boring when we can make this identity theft so much more complicated and thematically appropriate

odin just outright trying to possess cu would be the most straightforward option. i don’t know what odin would need to be cu for and this post isnt about that but in this case i would assume cu is without spear because the spear is what ties together his identity as the hero cu chulainn so odin would have to somehow fabricate a cu who is not quite cu in order to slip in between those gaps and actually possess him.

odin needing to make a spearless cu in order to get in there also checks out with archer saying cu’s gae bolg is stronger than odin’s gungnir. gotta get that hurdle out of the way

we can assume cascu’s saint graph from the start was “meant” to be (used by) odin because of ochd deug odin. noble phantasms are representations of heroes and cascu is the one who taught mashu how to use her noble phantasm when she wasn’t yet sure of what hero she was supposed to be/it was restricted by the one it ‘really’ belongs to similar to odin supposedly putting use restrictions on ochd deug odin

i still stick with my age old theory that cascu is a cu without his spear/the symbol of his fate even though that should be impossible because he got cleaved in half by fragarach, the sword that severs fate, leaving cascu without that fate/spear (and also miserable because that fate sits at the core of his identity) and cu alter then picked up that fate and became the spear

mayhaps odin snatched up this incomplete cu that got left over after he was split and filled out the gaps himself to make it into cascu & get him a foot in the door. somewhere. for some reason. some clytie van gogh shit even where they shove the mind of the one in with the body & soul of the other bc skadi Did have that line in imaginary scramble about how she can sorta get how the outer gods think

in this case its also inch resting that the other half was snatched up by medb to turn into cu alter since medb is also tits deep in fairy stuff and the current scraps of fairy lostbelt history we have apparently imply that not-medb and not-cascu have faced off before

mayhaps it’s the other way around and it’s closer to what i said before those new lines came out which is that [the existence we the audience generally know as cu chulainn] has the capacity to be both cu chulainn and odin with the only real difference being whether he sides with humans or gods so when something core to the identity of “cu chulainn” was removed he inevitably and perhaps inadvertently ended up drifting closer to being odin.

would also vibe nicely with the wicker man being an empty cage searching for an offering to the gods. the face and name are cu chulainn but the “core” as hero is missing so something needs to fill that hole

would furthermore have it make sense that in the fairy lostbelt he would have to be odin because cu chulainn could not possibly choose to side with humans in this world where no human heroes exist

some of his new lines are basically the same as his old lines but slightly different so the extent to which he is in fact odin at any given point seems to vary a little

its also possible that odin tried to show up as just himself but because there was this half a cu still conceptually lying around the world like made odin trip and fall into cascus cleavage in the name of recycling and now he’s kinda floating in between being cu chulainn and being odin which is why he bitches about not having his spear so much because having either gae bolg or gungnir would actually pin down his identity as one or the other (yknow like rhongo pinning down the world or whatever because everything is the same)

obviously his name is given as cu chulainn because odin has a history of disguising himself but cu doesn’t so the ‘inconsistency’ in his identity that gets hidden is the one that has a penchant for hiding itself anyway

of course there’s a lot of precedent for (divine) spirits latching onto others in fgo or ppl being granted divine authorities (na should be having a time with that over in lb4 right now) but spas cifically i feel the need to point out the alter ego class who are by and large composed of servants who got mashed together from a bunch of divinities and i also want to remind you my dear readers of the part in the ccc event where tamamo cat explains that you don’t need the alter ego class to be an alter ego

i have a vague suspicion that he’s only “odin” when the hood is up. in his valentines scene he’s mumbling some vaguely out of character stuff with his hood on but goes back to normal once he takes it off and in the knk event he puts the hood on when pretending he’s not cu

again i really want to stress that the base personality we’re seeing has to be cu chulainn and he has to have cu chulainn’s memories not only from life but also as a servant, otherwise he would not be able to reference experiences he had as lancer servant in the fuyuki holy grail war to shadow archer. he is without a doubt cu chulainn, it’s just a matter of how much odin was added.

[dansnaturepictures]

18th September 2022: Post 2 of 2-Ibsley Common in the New Forest

Following on from my previous post, we then walked at Ibsley Common in the New Forest this afternoon where it was nice to have another really peaceful walk, taking in the beautiful scenes of bits of purple heather and lush green in trees in this moor like undulating landscape with a nice wood and stream taken in too. There was great sunshine for a lot of the walk. I took the first five and seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset of views on the walk and the sixth of some bracken lit nicely by the sun I was actually aiming to take a photo of the Stonechat sat in it I kept two versions in the end one cropped of the Stonechat which I tweeted on Dans_Pictures tonight and the view as I thought it looked nice.

There were some great birds seen on the walk; one of my favourites the Dartford Warbler briefly, Stonechat well, Meadow Pipit, lots of Swallows moving through once more, Mistle Thrush and Woodpigeon with a Blue Tit heard I believe. What I believe was a Southern Hawker dragonfly flying at the end, a beautiful iridescent beetle either Dor beetle or Splendid Earth Boring beetle if the former seen nicely again after some last Sunday at Pig Bush and three weeks ago at Martin Down and New Forest ponies again were other nice sightings here this afternoon. As we enjoyed an ice cream by Rockford on the way back, one of a few great relaxing time off things to do we have enjoyed doing between everything else this week, there were some gorgeous coloured ponies kissed by the afternoon sun. In the car there was an interesting looking insect or it may have been a spider on the window beside me.

The Ibsley Common walk was a good one for flowers with ragwort, more devil’s-bit scabious after last Sunday, more lovely freshly flowering yellow gorse a little theme this week, hawksbeard, daisy I seem to recall, the purple heather and some smashing harebells seen well looking especially lovely in the sun flowers I do admire.

I took the final two pictures in this photoset of a nice sky scene and yellow buddleia in the back garden when home this evening, there was more nice red at sunset this evening which I enjoyed out the back. It is a bank holiday tomorrow but it felt most appropriate to reflect this evening how today brought to an end a quickly passing but wonderful patch of leave for us. It was packed full of adventure, lots of bird, mammal, butterfly, dragonfly and flower sightings and others making it a key week of my wildlife and photography year and putting me in strong positions for a few of my year lists this year, so many photo opportunities in mostly fantastic weather at a perfect mix of familiar and new places for us, local and further afield. Along the way meeting some wonderful people, some of which we had met before and some we saw more than once at different places, allowing for much social interaction. And it was so relaxing. Thanks for all your support for my photos and posts this week. It will be a hard and historic day tomorrow for the UK with the funeral of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. I hope you all have a good and safe new week.

Part 1 of today’s posts about the boat trip around Poole Harbour we went on is here: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/695761688752996352/18th-september-2022-post-1-of-2-boat-trip-with 

[deans-baby-momma]

Forbidden

Chapter 5

Set in season 14 and follows Y/N, a young girl from the Apocalypse world as she tries to navigate this new place that she was thrust in after being rescued and the feelings she begins to have for someone she really shoudln’t be having them for.

Warnings: There’s a bit of angst, smut and fluff in each chapter. I will tag the smut chapters appropriately but if you’re following me and reading any of my stories, you know it’s gonna be there.  LOL

WC: 1096

Y/N: Sorry for the late posting of this. A storm came bursting though sometime last night and knocked out the power. But better late than never right? Enjoy

Y/N is standing in the control booth of the range when I enter, looking out the plexiglass window at the firing lanes. 

The Bunker is equipped with an overly-huge range with eight stalls, each one divided by a barrier wall, with counters in between each for extra ammo and the sound-canceling headsets. 

She seems to be unaware of my presence so I take a moment to admire her, again. She looks so sweet, so innocent but I have seen her in combat, albeit just tactical training but she is agile; a force to be reckoned with. I can tell in her short 19 years that she has had to fight tooth and nail more than she got to participate in tea parties and sleepovers with friends.

Her body is voluptuous,  curves in all the right places. The jeans she is wearing taut across her behind. 

'Dammit man! Quit checking her out.' I tell myself but I can't stop the way my eyes roam her figure. It's like they have a mind all their own. I hold in the whine that wants to escape when she bends over to tie up her combat boots. Not only is her firm ass on full display but her shirt hangs and I can see right up it, to her tits hanging, her bra not supporting them well. 

My palms itch to cup and squeeze the ample flesh, feeling her pert nipples harden under my touch. I clear my throat, and my mind, before my dick gets out of control. It is already semi-hard behind the zipper of my pants. 

Y/N straightens up and turns to me with a smile.

"Ready?"

I step into the room and am assaulted by the aroma of her perfume. It permeates the air and invades my nostrils. Hints of vanilla and citrus mix together to give off a scent particular to Y/N. 

"As ready as ever," I tell her as I unlock the door to the range and motion her to enter first. Walking over to the gun safe, I unlock it and pull out a Ruger .380 and  6-round magazine. 

Turning to Y/N with the items, I grin when she looks frightened. 

"Don't worry," I tell her. "This isn't loaded." I hold up the magazine in one hand and the pistol in the other, pointing it toward the ceiling in order to alleviate her fears.

"You're going to need to get closer if you want to learn how to load and use this."

I show her how to slide the magazine into the butt of the gun and then listen for the click to alert her that it is locked in there. Sliding the rack, I then show her the little indicator where you can see the cartridge in the chamber.

“This is a live gun now,” I tell her. “It is cocked and loaded and very dangerous. Never, ever do this until you are ready to use it. Never just walk around with a round in the chamber. This particular gun has no safety so it could easily go off.”

I pick up two sets of the noise-cancelling headsets and hand one to her. I slip the muffs over my ears and turn to check that she has them placed properly. I smile as I see her trying to blow some errant hair out of her eyes, it being stubborn because it is held in place by the headgear.

I lay the gun on the counter and step forward. WIthout thinking, I swipe the hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. She looks up at me fondly and for a second I get lost in her eyes. I could easily bend down and kiss her but before I actually do that, I clear my throat and step back into the “shooter’s box”.

Picking the weapon up, I hold my arm out and line the sight up. Squeezing the trigger, I hear the muffled pop as the gun fires. I look down the lane at the target. Dead center and precise, but I had no doubt; I’ve been shooting since before I could drive.

I look back at Y/N and she is standing there smiling with wide eyes. “Your turn, sweetheart.”

The smile drops off her face as she steps forward and around me, getting into the box.  I can tell she is nervous and hesitant. I grab her wrist and bring it up, laying the gun in her palm. “Don’t be scared Y/N. I’ll help you,” I say gently.

She nods as her fingers wrap around the gun. I watch as she gets used to the feeling of having a weapon in her hand. She picks it up with her other hand and looks it over closely. I let her inspect it until she seems to be comfortable with it. 

“Ok, now hold it like this,” I tell her as I show her how to correctly hold a gun, making sure her finger is no where near the trigger. “Then-,” I grab her free hand and place it on top of the gun. “-slide the rack to chamber a round. Remember, keep your finger off the trigger until you are sighted up and ready to shoot."

She turns to face the target at the end of the lane and I step up behind her. Reaching forward, I place my hands over hers. “Ok, now look down the barrel to the end, see that little bump on the end? That’s your sight. Line that up with where you want the hit to land. Got it?”

She nods and I slowly take my hands off hers and put them on her waist. “Ok now, plant your feet. Stand steady. Still sighted in?” She confirms with one nod of her head. “Put your pointer finger on the trigger. No pressure, just place it on there. Now squeeze, don’t pull.”

Y/N jumps as the gun discharges. We look down the lane at the target and look for her hit. 

I laugh when I finally find it. “You jumped as you shot. See there in the wall to the side? That’s what you hit. You completely missed.”

I see the embarrassment and shame on her face. “I’m sorry Dean,” she says. Well I don’t actually hear her say it, with the noise cancelling headgear on, but I can read lips.

“Hey,” I take the gear off and she copies me. “It was a good start. At least you didn’t shoot yourself in the foot, or worse, me.”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @atc74​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​  @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @hoboal87​ @mogaruke​ @deanwanddamons​ @supraveng​ @deandreamernp​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @wintersoldierwinchester​ @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits​ @nancymcl​ @kazsrm67 @lostdarksoul6

[bayheart]

Hey. I noticed you interact with Beeprowlz and wanted to let you know they have a pretty bad rep in the Transformers community pertaining to freedom of content creators. Thanks!

so we're calling "hey, maybe stop posting robot porn in the main tag and on your public account where actual literal children have easy access to it" an issue about the "freedom of content creators" now huh

sorry that the people who kept posting robot porn on main got butthurt about being told to not do that :( fucked up and evil that both me and bee are perfectly capable of creating nsfw content and then taking the appropriate steps to keep it contained with adult-only spaces to protect kids from seeing it :( and yet :( somehow there are big-name creators with thousands of followers who cannot seem to do the same :(

hate to break it to u but if those people's "freedom" means "refusing to take even the smallest step to keep robot tits and ass out of the sight of 12 year olds on the internet" then i also do not support it 💖 thanks! :)

[boxofbadaddiction]

Uh, but She-Hulk was historically portrayed as huge a "tall, slightly muscular woman" for most of her comic history; the "savage she-hulk" and similar depictions are like, from the last couple of years at most, and showed up in a handful of comics compared to the original and earlier depiction. Do some research. This isn't some point of outrage. You can't point to a recent comic and use that as an argument.

I'm assuming you're mad about these posts. Though the first seems to be the one people are taking wrong the most so allow me to elaborate like I have several times now.

The image used in my original post I admit was not the best example to reference. Something such as this:

Would have been much more appropriate to my point however I didn't expect people to take this much of an interest in the post and was prepared for maybe like 14 notes? So I just grabbed one of my favourite images of She-Hulk. The image I used was never in response to her character only her design which I made clear in the replies of that exact post.

"dO sOMe ReSErcH" actually, stfu. I know what I'm talking about. Okay I haven't read every single Marvel comic known to the planet but I'm not ignorant to the character or story. Something, again, I've made clear in that post and several others.

"This isn't some point of outrage" I dunno what rock you're living under but literally every post I have seen regarding the new series has been nothing but slander on their choice of design and CGI. I've seen no one actually LIKE her appearance only like that they're getting a new series to consume.

Fucking cowards

Why is She-hulk so small

Marvel fans slam She-hulk

Using the word Hulk is pretty generous

Skinny CGI disaster

Literally just google she hulk 2022, all top reports are talking about fan backlash. This list took me not even 3 minutes to get together just as a few examples.

"She-hulk historically has been described as tall and slightly muscular" She's hardly tall and doesn't even border on muscular. She isn't unfit I'll say that but she certainly isn't a good representation of muscular which is where this backlash and controversy is stemming from.

Give me a good reason, and I mean a good reason, without bringing up her "original design", why Marvel could not have designed her with more of a body builders physique? Why she had to have a snatched waist, large butt and larger breasts. Tell me why she couldn't have been much larger, and I'm not talking savage she-hulk, than she is right now.

Example body 1 @ moon_in_decline on tiktok

Example body 2 Natasha Aughey, fitness icon

Here's the thing by the way, you want to say that it's a modern character design and isn't what she's been drawn as in the past, why couldn't they use her newer designs as reference? New or old doesn't matter it is still her comic depiction, which makes it valid.

The only arguments I have seen in defence of her current design always comes back to the same thing. "That's how Marvel drew her in the past" and "Her size is contributory"

You mean in their misogynist past where every superhero woman was practically naked and always skinny with big tits? That past? Right.

So, you want to see her form adapt to her mental strength? That is very do-able. Go ahead and make her smaller than Hulk then with character development have her grow to a size similar to that of Smart Hulk. That's completely valid. But that doesn't mean making her super slim and only moderately tall. Give her a larger frame, that is possible to do without damaging your precious story arch.

Marvel could have easily made everyone happy in this series, they could have stayed true to her story arch in which she gets bigger when she realises her full strength and potential while also not making her slim. This is the point I'm making.

You're gonna look at me and tell me that the current design is better than the other modern designs?

Representation in media is a very important issue and Marvel had the opportunity to do great things with this character but dropped the ball instead and stuck with their usual bullshit.

An example that is commonly brought up in the reblogs is of Luisa Madrigal from Encanto:

And I think that's a great point!

Here you had Disney taking a bold step forward in representation, they nearly didn't go with the strong woman design but because they did they've seen such high praise for the decision.

She-Hulk was another opportunity to do that, for Marvel.

[westmoor]

voices from within (a post-halloween special)

(other parts can be found here)

Following the success of his latest novel, Jaskier accompanies Geralt to fulfill a contract. He only hopes to get some sounds on tape, film some furniture moving, get his name out there and maybe catch the start of a new story - but some houses are haunted by more than just the ghosts of former residents.

---

“Oh.” Jaskier’s voice barely rang above a breath. “Oh, it’s gorgeous.” For a moment he stood staring up at the building that was to shelter him for the next twenty-four hours, until the slamming of the driver’s side door snapped him out of it and he turned. “Geralt-”

Geralt only hummed his assent. It was impressive, stately even: When Jaskier had referred to it as a castle, it wasn’t far from the truth. 

Wide and squared and two storeys tall, brick painted a light creamy beige offset by dark brown, a dozen arched lattice windows gleamed in the afternoon light. Had he believed houses had personality he might’ve said this one looked friendly, inviting.

“What do you think?” Blue eyes twinkled at him, clearly pleased. “Do you like it? Think it will meet our expectations?”

He didn’t. He was decidedly less excited than his counterpart by what awaited them, and truth be told he would’ve preferred not to be there at all - or rather, preferred for Jaskier not to be there. It was a rule of his, one he’d reinforced after they had gotten together. He did not allow humans near his line of work.

But the novelist, after the success of the initial story featuring a Witcher, had been the one contacted about the job and had even brokered the contract, holding it over Geralt’s head until they had reached a compromise. He would be given free reign to do what he needed for the night, gather whichever so-called supernatural evidence and material he required, as long as he followed direction and kept a safe distance when told to. He had until dawn.

Still, Geralt couldn’t help the sneaking feeling of foreboding lurking at the back of his mind.

So no, he didn’t like it. He didn’t like the way it loomed behind the lean figure of his partner, deceptively calm, crouched like a beast lying in wait.

Geralt was saved from the attempt to voice his concerns - as brash as his boyfriend could be, he was remarkably perceptive - by a second car pulling in behind theirs.

No outside involvement had been another one of Geralt’s demands, triggering a tirade of protests from Jaskier, who in turn had argued that he couldn’t possibly cover the necessary ground on his own. Not within such a short time frame.

Unable to move his witcher, that particular settlement had eventually been perched on a technicality: No outsiders would join their so-called expedition.

How Jaskier had been able to get hold of Lambert and Eskel, much less convinced them both to join in, Geralt would never know.

Sneaky bastard.

Watching his brothers emerge from the car and approach them, however, he felt the restless beast in his chest subdued. Jaskier drew trouble like a spoonful of sugar drew wasps, but surely even he couldn’t manage to put himself in too much danger, not with three pairs of seasoned witcher eyes at his back.  

Rounding the silver hood of the vehicle, Eskel nodded at Geralt and extended a hand in friendly greeting to Jaskier. The two of them had only briefly met but hit it off immediately, which wasn’t too surprising - anyone with the sense not to balk at his scars would find the older wolf to be good company. 

Still waters run deep though, and his brothers knew better than anyone what it would take for a stranger to work through the layers of Eskel’s polite facade and earn real trust. Luckily for all of them, Jaskier’s openness and frank speech - verbose but earnest - had battered at it in much the same way as he’d broken down Geralt’s own walls.

Lambert, on the other hand - 

“Thought you said this place had ghosts, or whatever.” His hands were buried as deep in his pockets as they would go. “Are we going to go find some, or just stand out here until we join them? I’m freezing my tits off.”

Lambert was an acquired taste.

Jaskier didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest, and eagerly grasped the incentive to get moving. Within moments he had ushered them all up the double stone steps with an authority that probably wasn’t appropriate for a young man to direct at three monster-hunting mutants twice his size, but seemed entirely natural to him. 

Geralt thanked his lucky stars that neither brother commented on the quickening of his heartbeat.

---

If the exterior was impressive, the interior was overwhelming.

Heavy oak doors swung open on well-oiled hinges and they were led through to a lounging area, masterfully decorated to reflect the wealth and status of its original owners, walls practically dripping with frames illustrating its rich history. Past cushioned chairs, rococo sofas and tables on spindly legs, a grand staircase twisted up to the second floor, banister continuing along an interior balcony wrapping around the entrance from above. Beyond, rows of pearly white doors and pastel hallways would carry them into the heart of the manor.

Crossing the threshold felt like stepping through time. Despite the electric lights and vague distant hum of heating units, each piece in sight was as close to original as could be hoped for, selected and maintained with utmost care. 

But there was something else, too. Not so much a smell as a breath, an unmistakable lingering of things long lost.

Neither witcher voiced it, though they all clearly noticed - eyes skimming walls and nostrils flaring momentarily before they discerned what couldn’t be pinned down.

Jaskier slipped seamlessly into the role of the enthusiastic guide, throwing tidbits and details left and right while introducing the trio to the building’s past and present characters. His brothers exchanged glances at the shift in demeanour, but Geralt remained unfazed. He knew the writer hadn’t stumbled into his profession by chance, but lived and breathed for such occasions. Be it in speech or in prose, he was a born narrator.

What followed was a thorough tour of every notable room, nook, and cranny, all with a performative flair and tinged with what Jaskier referred to as reported phenomenons. Geralt hung back. He had already heard the broad strokes of it, but listened nonetheless, the added structure and dulcet tone of his lover’s voice crafting it into a proper story. 

The other two were paying the attention of hearing it for the first time, and his mind revived the question of how they’d been convinced to join in the first place. He might end up having to ask.

Though Jaskier was an entertaining host - and only got them lost twice - an hour had come and gone by the time they completed their loop and found themselves back at the top of the staircase.

“Now, gentlemen!” Clapping his hands, their guide halted in front of one of the large white doors. One, Geralt noted, they hadn’t opened yet. “If you would so kindly help bring in the equipment and start setting up for the night…” His lips quirked in that mischievous way at least one of them had come to know all too well. “I’ve saved the best for last.”

A lesser man would have succumbed to Lambert’s baiting comments and Geralt’s glare, but Jaskier’s penchant for dramatics could weather any storm. 

Only once the car had been emptied of gear and devices, wires stretched and screens installed, and after he’d procured a sturdy meal for his companions through a particularly scared-looking pizza delivery person, were they allowed back near the second floor landing.

“I want to look everything over one more time before we start recording, and maybe move another cam down to the first floor. The maid’s quarter is said to be particularly reliable, lots of people claim to have heard voices - lullabies even - between 3 and 4am.”

It was Eskel, who so far had been the most amenable of the group and asked only the most practical questions, that finally raised the issue that had crawled steadily closer to the surface as they worked. “This seems like a pretty big contract for a few disembodied voices.”

“Ah.” Jaskier’s grin grew wide. “But we’ve only scratched the surface so far. “

“In here,” he tapped the great door behind him, “lies the heart of this little castle, the grand salon, where the original owners would entertain guests. Basically the entire staff claims to have heard sounds coming from here. Music, clinking glass, the clamour of voices, as if there’s a party taking place, dragging well into the night. But when they open the door and look inside…” He snapped his fingers. “Nothing! Dark and abandoned, quiet as a grave.”

“If the claims are true, this is where it all began. There was an accident, you see, a real tragedy, one that cost the master of the house - a mister Lamm - and all six of his sons their lives. His widow, Dora, unable to let go and half mad with grief, prayed day and night to be reunited with her husband and to see her family again. But when religion failed her, as it’s wont to do, she cast her net wider, and gathered every prominent mystic and occultist of her time to aid her quest.”

Geralt stepped closer, the crux of their stay finally about to be revealed to his brothers, who were following the recounting with rapt attention.

“And she succeeded in bringing them back. Not to life, perhaps, but the halls were filled with children’s laughter and the sounds of running footsteps once again. Dora is said to have sat up nightly, listening, speaking to them until dawn. Only, it wasn’t the only thing they brought along.”

Eskel nodded, an idea of which road the story was about to go down, but waited for the man to continue.

“Now, I don’t know that I believe everything -” 

Lambert snorted, earning a sharp elbow to the side.

“- but according to mediums and other visitors who’ve stayed here over the years, the house is open somehow. Like a friction point worn thin. Supposedly whatever leaks through serves as a sort of battery for the rest - the knocking, the voices, the singing - but it’s not just that, either.”

Jaskier’s voice lowered a note as he dropped the theatrical edge, turning serious. “Previous employees say it… changes people. Makes them ill, triggers things. Makes them say and do things and behave in ways they otherwise wouldn’t. Most don’t stay very long. Others won’t leave, even after their employment is terminated.”

“The current owner wants it shut, whatever it is,” Geralt interjected. 

If Jaskier was annoyed at having his flow broken, it didn’t show, and he smoothly picked back up. “And that’s why we’re here! By morning, thanks to Geralt’s ministrations, this place should be as devoid of any spiritual activity as any regular old heap of rocks, and I want to catch it before it goes.”

Silence fell over the group.

“That’s it?” Lambert looked at Jaskier, brows raised. Then at Geralt, and back at Jaskier, who nodded affirmatively. He shrugged. “Okay. Fun.”

Geralt released a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, and Jaskier leaned up to the door. 

“Well then, friends, if you’re ready!” He flicked the lock, before stepping back and turning to Geralt, features seeped in expectation. 

“Darling, would you do the honours?”

[stevenbasic]

I know there are guys like this, Melissa thought to herself, guys like this all over the place. Guys that collect pictures of girls, built girls, save them all on their computers to do...ewww...whatever it is they do with them. She had some guys like that, still, she knew, as Instagram followers, even on her new, now-private profile. There was a smattering of guys, she knew, who basically stalked her, perved over her every post. She tended to indulge them, from time-to-time, throw them a little bone here or there, some cleavage, whatever. It was fun, for a while, she’d get a kick out of it, casually teasing these guys who simped for her. But it had kinda gotten old. Now it was more her friends who seemed to love it, love seeing it, love laughing at the guys. It was harmless enough fun, and these men were just sorta silly and pathetic. I just didn’t think Dr J was one of them…

She had needed to see for herself, have some time to process. It was eight AM but she’d needed to see for herself, all these pictures of her that Randi and Marisela told her he’d supposedly been hoarding on his office computer. On a Tuesday like this one she’d have plenty of time; he’d be doing his rounds at the hospital until mid-morning, when he’d return to the office. She’d closed his door so she’d be undisturbed as the other girls drifted into work. Melissa knew she needed to come to terms with this, and see what was on his computer for herself, especially after what Marisela had told her about what was going on….that kinda made her mad, too.

Okay, there it is, right where Marisela said it’d be, she thought. On his hard drive, the folder labeled “Protected”. Let’s see if this password works...

oh, my…

For some reason Melissa had found herself earlier this morning, while getting ready, almost unconsciously putting on heavier makeup, applying more layers of gloss and lipstick than she knew she should. She’d found herself pulling out a striped red dress, one that cinched too tight to her waist which - despite everything else getting bigger these days - seemed to be, if anything, slowly disappearing. This dress clung too tightly to her torso, she realized, its horizontal stripes only emphasizing the size of the bust she’d packed tightly this morning into her new, bigger bra. This dress was also wayyy too short, she knew, revealing too much of the long, flawless legs that she’d tanned to a deep olive in her week in the sun, sculpted in the gym to heavily-muscled perfection. It covered her overly-shapely rear, she also knew, but left little to the imagination as to its full size; her ass had grown huge, recently, and this dress surely did nothing to hide that. The heels she chose - yellow and too tall, really, to be appropriate for the office - would only highlight the muscle tone of her already large calves, make her glutes look even fuller, shift her weight to pull her shoulders back, further emphasizing her bust and exaggerating the already unmistakeably feminine aspects of her gait. Her hair, as well, she’d fluffed out more than usual this morning...why? The one thing she found herself foregoing, though, was perfume. I’ve been making enough of that myself, already, she’d thought, I don’t need it.

Oh, no, look at all this, Melissa lamented, finally opening the folder labeled “Melissa” and then audibly gasping at its contents...countless pictures of her. Where did he find it all? How much time has he spent collecting these?? She began to scroll through the thumbnails, everything from current images grabbed from her Instagram to old modeling pics he must have found in the internet to...where did he ever find these ones from Hooters?!?

Suddenly she was overcome when an image of him - sitting in this very chair, looking at these pictures and rubbing himself, sliding his hand into his pants - flashed into her head.

Is that what you do with these? Why else would you be...collecting them? Oh, Dr. J...not you, too?

As she marveled, wide-eyed, beginning to grasp the enormity of his collection, of just how many pictures of her he’d accumulated, it dawned on her: he also has dozens upon dozens of pictures of her in a bikini, from the past week - on his ph-..oh, wait. Oh god. He’s downloaded them all into here already...there’s a whole folder, a new one, called “conference”. 

Part of me wishes they never told me...

She flashed back, for the moment, to early yesterday morning, Monday in her new office with Randi and Marisela…

“...we got in last week, finally, Marisela cracked it,” Randi had said, “I just knew he’d have a porn stash. But that there’s so much of YOU in it…?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Melissa,” Marisela had added, “The guy’s a total perv. We’ve known that for years…”

If nothing else she marveled, as she scrolled through the thumbnails, at his diligence, I haven’t seen some of these in ages. 

Another image flashed into her head, again him sitting at this desk with these pictures - god, he’s much smaller than me, isn’t he? He wouldn’t fill up this chair nearly as much as I do -  with his pants unzipped, pulled down his hips, he’s groaning. Looking at these pictures, zooming in on that one. 

His legs are so skinny compared to mine, she thought, as she felt her own body unconsciously flexing, his arms and shoulders so thin and weak. 

Why...why did this make her shiver a bit? Why did her mind keep picturing him...wanting to see him when he’d opened up this folder and started to-

But he shouldn’t be doing this! It’s like cheating on his wife. No matter what’s going on between him and Sheryl, he’s still a married man. Melissa could understand why Sheryl���d be mad. Yes, but…

Melissa flashed back again...

“Why are you so shocked?” Randi had asked her, “They’re all like this, every single one. Every single boss you’d ever had.”

At first, she admits, she was shocked. She couldn’t believe what they’d told her, shown her with the screen caps from his desktop - it can’t be!! this is the honorable, upstanding, respectable Dr J!! He’s not like the rest of them, all those other guys, is he?? Obsessive, fixated...

After the initial shock, the disbelief, she got kinda angry - she took this job thinking she was going to be valued for her brains, education, skills. She thought this job would allow her to develop in ways that other jobs, with other bosses, hadn’t. She’d always been a special girl, different from the rest. She had a unique way, she knew, of “growing into the job” - it’s what her mother called it. “Rising to the challenge of a new endeavor” she’d said, become what would allow her the greatest success. Problem had always been, though, that the best way to succeed at her old jobs had turned out to be the same. At Hooters it made sense, even in high school. But with frustration she’d found the same thing happened to her at Nordstrom’s, at the DMV, and at the Dealership. Instead of getting smarter, learning more, becoming more able and capable, she’d just gotten...curvier. Added cup sizes, inches to her hips. This job, after finally getting her degree, was supposed to be different. But now, seeing this screenshot of dozens of pictures of her from her boss’ porn stash, she was finally convinced that, once again she was hired just for her tits. She knew, of course, that he’d found her attractive. That he, being just a guy, could be pretty easily manipulated if she set her mind - and hourglass figure - to it. That she could get what she wanted at the office, be successful in her new position, because of her appearance. That would explain the two - no, three - new sets of bras. Why she’d torn through her yoga pants last week. His tastes were for curves upon curves...lots of guys’ were. And she figured she was growing faster here than at the old jobs because, well...she had become his friend. She’d spent more time with him. She’d grown to, well...really like him, more than she’d ever really admit. So maybe there were other things fueling her, uh, developments. But, again - he was married!

It was so confusing!

She could help it, another image came to her. This time he was still here alone in his office, maybe after hours, doors locked, knowing he’s alone - but now he was blatantly jerking off, pants down, around his ankles. Jerking off and leering at these pictures of her, this time looking - ohh why is this doing this to me?? Making my heart race?? - even smaller. He seemed to be shrunken, a small, small man, wide-eyed and staring, unblinking, at his screen. He was grunting, like a little animal, and shaking back and forth with his efforts.

She flashed back again...

”I know, I know,” Melissa had said, bemoaning this new situation, as if she was grieving some loss, “I know I had him up on a pedestal. I know it was maybe unreasonable. But now….now what am I supposed to do?”

“Missy, relax,” Randi had replied, “Just think- who was able to take him down off of that pedestal? Who did he have pictures of on his computer in a folder that he’s accessed...look at this...more than -four hundred- times? You! You! Face it You got where you are not just through hard work at school. You did hard work at the gym, building yourself in other ways. Despite everything you rose up at Hooters, at the DMV, at the dealership. You are YOU, and that’s what’s bringing you all this success. You as a person, your mind and your body.”

”I guess you’re right…” Melissa had said.

“Of course I am,” Randi had replied, “Use it all, use all you got. Not just your degree-“ At that she’d reached out and grabbed Melissa’s huge breasts, hands sinking into her pliancy, “but these too! Women have to use everything they have to take what they can get.”

The next image, in her mind, was one where he’s dramatically smaller still: How did he even get into the chair? He’s so little... His feet, dangling above the ground, hovered over his pants, now in a pile. He’s naked, in fact, and he’s so small he can barely see over the desk to the monitor, can barely reach his mouse to scroll, to click, to open picture after picture after picture of her. His groans and grunts have changed to whines and he sounds so needy as he’s trying and trying and trying to-

Groaning herself, Melissa was nearly overcome with the thought, and had to catch herself from sliding her hand between her own thick, bare thighs. What was this warmth? What was this subtle swelling in her chest? Why is this doing this to me?!? 

She flashes back again

“I guess it can't be helped, looking the way I do...” Melissa said, still in half-pout.

 “Don't feel bad, Missy, this is good,” Randi said, as Marisela just watched, observing these two, trying not to judge, learning, “Look at these folders he has - it’s not all of you. Look at all these pictures, these videos. It’s...worshipful. He’s in sheer awe of these women, and you’re one of them.”

Melissa nodded, new wheels, gears in the machinery of her inner self that she didn’t know existed, cranking to life, beginning to turn.

“You can use this to your advantage - to our advantage,” Randi added, encouraging her friend. Though remaining quiet, Marisela’s own pulse had begun to race, listening, hearing the subtext, thinking back on the conversations she and Randi had had. For her own part, Melissa’s feelings were still conflicted. Petulant anger and outright female outrage were at odds with the genuine affection she felt for him, an affection that more and more had been turning into...something deeper. A tugging at her belly. Something rich and wonderful she saw blossoming, when she closed her eyes and thought of him...thought of holding, thought of-

“If he honesty gets off to this sort of thing,” Randi pressed on, pointing at folders in the screenshot image from his desktop, folders labeled “Breast Expansion” or “Amazons” - “if that’s what he really wants....well, Missy. You could make him the happiest man on earth...”

=========================================================================

Original morph in the first image by Migsanch, and help with some of the dialogue by Antares.

[grenade-maid]

i like you as a person (at least as far as i know you through here) but every day you post anime girls and it feels like someone in your position would be more sensitive about sexualized depictions of young women. most of them seem (on the surface) wholesome wlw, but i feel really uncomfortable seeing any kind of "lesbian" images shared online. men *will* see it, and most of it was probably made for them anyway. as transfem wlw, we should really try to be more careful about that

Anon, I want you to think very hard about what you're saying. You're uncomfortable with seeing lesbian images shared online, because men might see them? How weak is your lesbianism that you think it could be undermined or threatened by men merely viewing depictions of women on a public website? If the act of men seeing illustrations of women were enough to undermine trans women or lesbianism we would have been annihilated decades ago, because I'm not sure if you've noticed my friend but that ship has long sailed. Are you going to send this same message to Dynasty Scans, the largest host of yuri manga on the English speaking internet, too, in hopes that they will cease operations and stem the tide of gay anime women that men might see?

What do you think it would accomplish if I stopped posting cute girls? Moreover, why should lesbians define their behavior by what men might do? Should we avoid wearing short skirts and low cut tops, too, just in case we inflame their desire? This is just another way of defining women by their relationship to men, and I refuse to do that. The problem with the sexualization of young women has to do with men's attitudes towards women, seeing them as objects to be consumed rather than people with agency. The mere presence of suggestive pictures of women is not the problem. It is a problem that would exist even if we scrubbed every erotic picture from the internet because, again, the issue is with men's attitudes and their place of power in the world. There is a lot of art that is made in a misogynist way, yes, but the issue is with misogyny, not the fact that the woman in the picture has her tits out.

I ask you, what precisely are you worried about happening? You ask me to be careful, but of what? Are you worried about people thinking I'm a pervert for liking cute anime girls? If they think that, that's their fault, not mine. Are you worried that they will think I'm a pervert and extrapolate that all trans women are perverts? I did not cause their transmisogyny, and my posting habits would not fix it. Are you worried that men will get horny over what I post? Who cares! What they do in the privacy of their own homes does not concern me. Men finding women attractive is not a bad thing. Are you worried that some of those horny men fetishize lesbians? Their homophobia is not my responsibility. I did not cause it, and nothing I post would fix it.

You say most of this content was made for men anyway, to which I answer, how do you know? And more importantly, why do you care? If two girls fall in love, does it really make it not count or worth less if a man wrote them doing so, compared to a woman? Should I only look at pictures and read content of women falling in love if I can verify that the author was a woman who loves women too? What will this accomplish? At the end of the day, regardless of who the intended audience was, I see myself in it and I enjoy it. Everyone is capable of writing stories that are meaningful, even if they don't belong to the group they're writing about. Extrapolate this line of reasoning further. If a writer intended a story to speak to straight people, and for all the characters in it to be straight, does that mean I can't or shouldn't read my own gay and trans interpretation into it? Because newsflash, lgbt people have been appropriating stories written for cishet men for as long as we've existed.

Furthermore, I want you to interrogate how this line of reasoning could be used in transmisogynistic ways. Fifteen years ago I was a "man" who just happened to find lesbian romance compelling. Yuri manga online became my refuge, where I could explore these feelings about women loving women. Why did I find kinship with them, and find depictions of straight romance so alienating? Why did I relate so closely to these girls, while finding that I had nothing in common with any fictional men? I am not exaggerating when I tell you that cute anime girls were pivotal in me coming to terms with my gender and sexuality. Feel free to laugh! I find out funny myself, but it's true. When we try to set up barriers around lesbianism to "keep men out" that language can and will be weaponized against trans women. Those women who don't know they're women yet are barred from finding community and kinship with other wlw because they're perceived as "men". Worse, though, cis people will use that rhetoric to actively exclude trans women from wlw spaces outright even after they have come out, because they see us as male invaders. The portrayal of men's attraction to women as inherently predatory or degrading is used to justify cis people's disgust with trans women's attraction to women. Why would you want to lend legitimacy to that line of thinking?

Finally, I want to ask you, who do you think this blog is for? Because I'm sorry, but I don't do this for you. I do this for myself. I post what I want because I enjoy it, and I share pictures I enjoy with friends who enjoy the same thing. If you are uncomfortable with what I post, I advise you to unfollow me. I will not take it personally, and I hope you will not take it personally either. I hold you no ill will, and if you're someone I've spoken to one on one I would still consider us acquaintances. Nobody needs to follow me to be my friend. I regularly speak with and befriend people whom I don't follow and who don't follow me. This blog is curated to my interests, and your dashboard is, I'm sure, curated to your own interests. If these two things don't match up, there's nothing wrong with that. I encourage you to pursue crafting your online experience in a way that is suitable to you, but I will not change my own content for that purpose, leaving you the option of unfollowing.

I post all of this not to ream you out. I am not angry with you and I hold no malice against you. But because you have chosen to send this on anon I cannot ask you what you mean and engage you in further conversation. With that option gone, I can only type every possible thought I have on the matter, and hope that it illuminates my thinking. If you wish to talk about this further and explain your own thinking, if you think I've misrepresented your thinking or have further thoughts, I would love to hear it. You will, however, have to come off anon for me to do so.

[opbackgrounds]

As many of you noticed, the other day I posted Part 1 in what has become a series on my thoughts on sexism in One Piece. If you are somehow seeing this post first, I would recommend clicking the link as I’ll be adding to the foundation I built there. 

I already had some pretty strong thoughts on this topic before receiving the original ask, but in the spirit of not wanting to sound like a douche academic integrity I decided to do a little cursory research into what other people meant when they said that One Piece is sexist. Here’s a collage of some of my favorite hot takes

As much as I’m...confused? Unsurprised yet somehow disappointed?...I don’t want to mock or belittle the people who feel this way. I think one of the most dangerous things in our modern internet age is that discussions only get surface deep before they devolve into shouting matches, and when the other side is vilified as ignorant or immoral or whatever it only serves to divide people into groups that grow evermore hostile to one another as the shouting matches get louder. It’s a short jump from your opinions are stupid and bad to you are stupid and bad for having them and I really don’t want to go there. 

Tl; dr: I don’t care if you disagree with anything I’m about to say, but if you send me harassing messages please know that I will laugh at you for presuming to think that I care.

Dropping the S Bomb

So first things first, a couple definitions. Sexism is prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination against a certain gender, in this case women. Chauvinism is excessive or prejudiced support for one's own cause, group, or sex. Misogyny is dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

I start with definitions, because there are an astounding number of people who misuse these terms when making arguments. When talking about things like character design, Oda’s typical hour-glass figure is leaning into a stereotype that leads to the objectification of (fictional) women. An argument could be made that One Piece is sexist in that way. 

But it’s not that cut and dry, and I am always of the opinion that context matters. I argued in my previous post that there would be a wider variety of female character designs if there were more women, and the exaggerated aesthetic of the series lends itself to the exaggerated busts and butts typical of One Piece ladies. 

There’s an interview that came out around the time Strong World was released that I think is helpful when talking about this sort of thing. 

I approached it thinking that since I’m drawing for a boys’ comic magazine, then it’s my job to make sure they enjoy what they’re reading. When you actually do become a professional you’ll start getting fan letters and other things and you’ll soon find that the overwhelming majority of them are from girls. Boys just aren’t the type to pick up a pen. (laughs) They don’t have things like stationary or stamps and they don’t think about going through the ‘grueling task’ of writing someone just to say, “That was cool.” Boys are a life form that enjoy something but won’t bother to tell you that they actually do.

So I learned that girls will flood you with their opinions and when I took at step back and looked at the world of manga, I realized that there are a lot of people out there that made me think, “This [author] is really just going along with the girls’ opinions.” And ultimately, if you’re considering those opinions as the ‘needs of the customer’ when you write the story, you’re just left with a girl’s manga. (laughs) It’s like, if you do that, you’re only writing to entertain girls, and that’s just wrong.

Oda writes for his target demographic, pre-teen and teenage boys. He doesn’t seem to care much for the opinions of his female audience, which again could be perceived as sexist.

And to an extent maybe it is, but I also think it’s smart. You only have to look at the mess that is the new Star Wars trilogy to see what happens when a storyteller tries to appease a fan base. The end result is that everyone goes home from the theatre miserable. 

Humanity has been telling stories since time immemorial. They’re so ingrained into into the collective psyche that we have developed certain metanarriatives, types, and archetypes that have in turn been refined and distilled and applied to certain types of stories meant for certain types of people. The “rules” for telling a “boy’s story” are different than the “rules” for telling a “girl’s story”, just like I would not expect a romance to be told in the same way as one of Shonen Jump’s battle manga.

Incidentally, this is part of the reason why I think many romances in shonen fall flat. Stories best suited for fighting, camaraderie, coming of age, and growing into the best version of yourself are forced to try to include tropes and story beats that just don’t fit, and the end result is often just...bad.  

And, yes, these rules are arbitrary. They can and do change. Just look at shonen battle manga of the 80s vs the titles that were popular when One Piece started in the 90s vs what’s running today. The fact that Oda maintained an audience for over two decades while writing for a demographic that ages out every few years is nothing short of incredible. He clearly has a pulse on what his audience wants while maintaining a clear vision for the direction he wants One Piece to go.

Nor is this an individual effort. Oda works with his assistants and editors when it comes to making these decisions. It’s impossible to say how much he’s been influenced by these other voices, both in the past and now, even if he is ultimately the person responsible for what does and does not get put to paper.

What’s more, society changes. What is considered sexist now would not be thought of as such a generation ago. Our descendants will shake their heads at all the crazy, backward, terrible things we think are normative, and that’s not even taking into consideration differences in culture that not only exist between generations, but nations. America is going to have different ideas of what is and isn’t appropriate behavior than Japan, which undoubtably influences Oda’s sense of humor, which in turn influences the sorts of gags he puts into his comic.

I want to walk a fine line here, because I think there are objective standards that people should be held to regarding sexism while also acknowledging that getting people to agree to those standards are is impossible. If people truly feel as strongly about Oda’s character design and fan service as they make it seem online, then by all means comment on it. It’s not going to change Oda’s mind, but maybe with increased awareness the next generation of storytellers will be better. 

At the same time, I think that the indignant masses need to take a deep, hard look at what they’re calling sexism. Are you really going to claim, as I’ve seen, that all fan service is sexist? Are you really going to say that Robin and Nami are weak characters because they don’t get fights? Are you really going to say that Oda’s the most sexist mangaka out there, using, Fairy Tale as an example of female characters done right?

Because if you are, you’re setting yourself up to be thought as just as vapid and uniformed as those who are only reading for tits and ass. There are legitimate criticisms to be had, but just because you don’t like a thing doesn’t mean it’s bad storytelling. Just because Oda puts something out there that you don’t approve of doesn’t make it sexist. Audiences need to be better at thinking critically about the media they consume and learn to look past the sensationalism of click bait articles to truly explore the issues at hand. 

This is getting long again, so I think I’m going to split this into another post where I’ll dive into some specific examples within the series itself. Once again, thank you for your time. I promise I’ll wrap this up soon and move onto other, hopefully more positive, things.    

[cuntess-carmilla]

If you followed me recently for That post about US imperialism...

Since that post seems to have died out for now, I feel it’s finally time to address some things. A ton of people started following me from That post going viral. I want to warn anyone new that this is not a politics blog.

I post about politics pretty often, but it’s above all a personal blog. If you followed me to get a charge-free political science class or some shit like that then you’re out of luck. I’m not a walking lesson. My life, thoughts and emotions aren’t a learning experience or case study for anyone. I’m a human being.

Now, some warnings:

I’m a man-hating dyke, this is an unironic misandry zone. I really fucking hate men and I’m not and will never be apologetic about that. If you think that this somehow excludes oppressed men you’re wrong lol (I’m looking at you, gay and bi dudes). I don’t wish men oppression because I don’t wish that on anybody even if I hate them. I’m not gonna be automatically rude to men as individuals unprovoked, but I ABSOLUTELY will if I’m given reason to do so, and I will not filter out my words whenever I whine about how much I fucking hate men in general. Got it? Good.

White women are insufferable too tbh.

Also speaking of men AND white people, please read the first fucking line of my very short description. It’s right there, for fuck’s sake. White women or otherwise white non-men, this includes you. I stg I’ve rarely had moc follow me since I put that in my description but a ton of white bitches seem to think that “men OR whites” = white MEN. No, baby. It means you girlies and gentlethems too. <3

I’m not too found of body-abled people or allistics either! Also of doctors and shrinks.

Specifically when it comes to psychiatry and psychology, I’m anti-psych/mad pride. No, I don’t think all the issues that psychiatry and psychology often poorly attempt to address are “fake”. Come on, I have many of those Issues myself and I’ve seen real human suffering by multitudes. It’s much more complex than believing none of those things are real. Click here if you want more details on my views on this.

Wlwoc, twoc and disabled woc are the people I prioritize most of all, lesbians in particular when it comes to wlwoc, but I do NOT tolerate biphobia, as I don’t with transphobia and transmisogyny either (as much as I’ll admit I’m not infallible with any of those because I’m not part of any of the affected groups*, but I do try). All of that said, I do not give passes to people for lesbophobia. I have done it in the past in specific situations, but not anymore. I don’t care who you are or what your intentions were. I’m sick and tired of it.

I don’t take kindly to people sexualizing me without my explicit consent. I don’t want to ever receive comments about my tits or whatever EVEN IF YOU’RE A WLW OR A GAY MAN. Call me pretty and shit like that if you want, but if you cross this boundary I’m cussing you out and blocking you immediately. The only person in the world who has my consent to sexualize me is my fiancé. I’ve had this happen to me too many times and I’m TIRED of it.

I’m extremely whiny. Complaining is one of my major hobbies. It’s an art. I’ve mastered it through the years. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I can get really annoying when giving my Opinions and like, I’m a multiple Scorpio with a lot of Virgo and some relevant Aquarius so I’m a highly opinionated bitch. I’m the personification of “AND ANOTHER THING...!”

I rant a lot even when I’m not being a pissbaby! I’m a VERY silent autistic offline and, as I’ve mentioned in recent posts, my brain NEVER shuts up so in turn I don’t ever shut the fuck up online because I infodump and vent everything I don’t out loud in here! Among many other things, I often rant about interests the majority of the population doesn’t share with me. I will, in particular, post often about goth music and the goth subculture in general. I mean, I don’t get why anyone would be surprised about that after taking a look at my blog for 0.1 seconds, but I HAVE, incredibly, been unfollowed for Goth On Main Crimes. Also I’m not kidding when I say that this is me when I’m talking about music:

Also astrology. I like astrology a lot and I’m also that picture ^ when it comes to infodumping and theorizing around astrology. I do it a lot less now than I used to a while ago though.

Sometimes I post VERY triggering content. I try to TW as appropriately as possible while dealing with brain fog, but keep that in mind. This includes when I vent about my personal life, feelings and trauma. I don’t filter myself much on that end and that includes talking about csa and other forms of sexual abuse/assault, lesbophobia, allistic abuse, peer abuse (”bullying”) and suicide.

I use the words “cunt”, “slut” and “bitch” very liberally, in case you couldn’t tell on your own yet. Reason for that: I’m Chilean. If that bothers you, the door is wide open.

If we’re not friends or at least mutuals and I haven’t asked for advice, please refrain. Unless you’re being rude or inappropriate I won’t attack you or anything, but it makes me uncomfortable.

English is my second language and I’m developmentally disabled and brain fogged from my chronic illness, so prepare for me sometimes messing up grammar and all that. Hell, I do it in Spanish too when it gets bad enough.

I practice what I can most accessibly (if begrudgingly) describe as “witchcraft”. I don’t talk about it often here but I do from time to time. Jic, I’m not pagan.

*I’m not cis, I’m a non-binary lesbian. However, I’m still a TME lesbian at that and I don’t think MY experiences are materially comparable to those of trans people (including non-binary ones), so I choose, individually, not to identify as trans. This by no means implies that I think non-binary people aren’t trans or that I have any place to decide who among us gets to identify as trans or not, including non-binary people who’re similar to me. This is all only about how I feel about myself.