#it says: what if eldritch being a bit fucked up actually

[graveyardgremlins]

*slaps roof of Jason Todd* this bad boy can fit so much angst in him

*slaps roof of Danny Fenton* w̷̡̛̛̩͙̮̣̘͖̤̑̒̔̊̿̀̃̑̀́̎͐̀̚͘̚͠͝h̶͙͈͚̮̐̎͐͗̀̊͆͑̚͝ą̸̛͇̺͖̣͙̺̠̻̼̥͉̼̯̦̹̃̉͊̾͌̐̌͛̍͛̈́́̇̆̌̏̽̓̕̚͜͝t̶̢̛̛͍̭̥͈̞̱̩͕͈̜̭̻͆̐̓̀̿͆́̐̅̉̎̏̈́̕ ̶̢͈͍̥̙̲̦͓͓̹͕͕̪͓̀̅̈́͌̓̈́̈́̽̂̍͆̊̕͜i̷̡̢̻̖͕̘̟̬̽͆͆̀̿͊̾̏̓̋͌̐̿̆͒̌̿͐̕͜͝͝͝f̶̡̨̲̫͈̰̘̜͖͇̖̪͍̠̪͚͍̠͎̗͎͐͂́͆̓͜ ̸̡̞̖̲̲͕͉̦̻̬͈͍͈͇͚̈́̔̚e̸̢̛̛̠̲̗̖̮̯̭̱̘̺͕͎̮͚̬̣̲͎̙̞͐̾̈́̓͂͊̌̎́̓̊̌̚ͅl̵̨̡̧̡̨̤͇̞̟̹͇͔̪̬̘̼͙̐͗̒͊͒̾̔͒̋̾̈́̄͒͒͜d̸̢̡̨̡̯͍̭̰͚͕̙̭̲̲͙̀̃͒̌́͝ͅṛ̷̖̤̼͈̦̫̩̜͈̻̺͚̹̗͙̈̏́̍͐̃͒̑̀̊͊̈́̒͊͂̚͘ì̴̡̡̡̛͚̫̦̼̭̳̣͍̌̂̀͆̌̈́͋̍̋̌͒́̈́͒̆͐͐̄̀͐̚͝t̵̢̧̞̲͈̘͕̹͉̪͓̳̖̳͉͍̊̊̄̈̓͜c̷̨̜̳̤̤̒̀̐̆͛͆̈͐̓͗̂��̲̯̰̝̗̣̹̺͍̞ḩ̸̨̢̗̬̫͓̟̜̮̙̞͕̻̦̯͇̺̊̏̐̿̅̅̿͒̎̈̌̓͋̂̏̂̔̑̎͌̅̕͜͠͠ͅ ̸̧̨̨̧̡̛̟̯͚̰̥̗̩̫͉͈̞̭̜͓̉̍̔͐́̈́̽͑̈́̓̓̀̈́͊̾͜͜͝b̴̹̠̥̾͑̄͂̾͌͐̈́̍̚͠͠ĕ̸̡͖̱̹̗͕̯̘̙̥͎̝͉̲͓̦̗̙̟̥̩̤̰i̸̧̛̼̟̩̻͇͉̰̼̙͈͔̥͈͎̦͕̥͌̅̈͆̆̐͂̆̇̈́͘ň̵̡̧͇̮̱̣͉̮̟͈̫͉̪̫̫̣̥͖̀̓͐̑̂̓̏͐̊͑̀̕͘͝ͅͅg̵̨̨̢̢̬̖͈̘̦̘͔͇̖͙̳̣͎͚͇̦͈̾̈̏͋̀̇̇̄͌͛͊̀̚̚͜͠ ̶̧͇͎̤̩͍̘̲͕̤͚͕̋͘͜ȃ̵̧̢͕̣͈̘̯̗̩̠̣͎̻͉͙̬͓͓̼͈̲̼́̇ ̴̨̛̱̖̻̩̹̱͙̤̭͖͔͒͐̄͐́̽̆̂͗̉̈̅͊̾͑́̒̚̚͜ͅb̷̢̛̖̪͇̱͈̝̹̤̪̰͗̓̍͌̉̄̋̆̒̚͝͝i̵̡̳̥̞̮̗͑͜ţ̵̛͈͉̜͚̦̜̥̠͙̤̻̗͙͉̺̫̳̦̱͇̱̹̊̔͆̋͛̿̍͘̚ ̶̨̛̙̭͉̭̜͇̲̼͓̱̻̋̓̍̉͂̽͗͌͘͘͝͠f̶͖̯͆̔͗̎͐̇̃̿͌̎̿́̎̉̾̔̊̑̄͐͠ͅụ̶̧̩̻̳͕͎̗̳̣͉̩̫͓͓̖̞̲̤͕̲̭̕͜ć̶̱͛̓͒́̅͒̏͐̚͝͝k̷̨̥̭͙̼͖̳̻͕̺̗̺̏̂͐̑̎͊̿͌̒͆̈́̉͆̀̐̏͒̽͐͆̚͝ę̸̢̧̡̻͍̹̲̙̹̤͍̭̩̲̝͚͚͔̜̜̟̿͊̽͛̉̉̔ͅd̵̢̢̮̘͓̱̜̫͇̻̝̻̖̭̞̲̥̘̞̦̝̺̣̪̀̽̃̀̾͗̓̒͐͑͊̾̍̈̕̕͝͝͠ ̴̡̧̛̛̬͙̊̅͒͌̉͐̽̏̿̍̊͑̐͂͌͑͆͘̚͠͠u̶̡̜̦̗͈̱͍̐̋͊̉̍̃͊͂̅̓̀͜͜͝p̶̢̡̨̡̛͔̳͈̪̹͍̖̖͎͇͔̭͓͈̐̎̒̑̑̈̉̀̓̒̑̍̑̐͊͘͘ͅͅͅ ̷̢̨̬̬͕̫̠̙̊͜a̶̢̧̢̛̹̼͈̰̻͔̤̳̺̱̯͚̰̮̭̜͌̔͂̒̎̈́͒̄̋̽͂̏̈́̐̕͜͜c̸̢̛̯̖̬̗͙͇̜̹̩̙̘̯͓̣̅̆̈́̏͑͗̕̚͠͝ͅţ̵̢̣̠̠̬͕̠͍͔͍̺͙͎͕͙̯̮̜͉̰́́̈̆̑̎̚͘͜u̴̮̹̞̹͙̒͊̒͋̿̏̀͂̄̇̎ȁ̵̢̢̢̛̛̼͙̞̟̬̖̲̪̗̠̱͔͍̩͍͖͖͌̓̄̂̎͌̅͜ͅl̷̳͛̍̂̈́̌̈́̏̅̀̈͋̾̓̕͝l̵̩̽͐̀̆̏̓͘ÿ̷̭͓̺̰̬̣͍̳̜̱͒̚͠

[featherymainffins]

i love how absolutely horrifying TLQ gets when you up the brightness. What the fuck IS that

[thatdeadaquarius]

it's almost 4am i can't get this out of my head holy shit.

reader whose original body is a literal eldritch forest deity and speaks in hymns (bonus points: after we isekai into said og body, we mix slang into it).

the acolytes have to break their fucking necks just to talk to you eye-to-eye, and the only thing they can make out of what you say is something equal to tablets bajillion years old already.

or that reader is constantly cussing and the acolytes just nod along not understanding whatever this 15ft tall eldritch horror is saying.

-🫀

ELDRITCH HORROR READER. I LIVEEE, NONE OF U UNDERSTAND, THIS IS SO DEEPLY AHHHHHH

I LITERALLY JUST SHIMMY STIM IN MY SEAT WHEN I THINK ABT THIS TOO LONG LMAO

i LIVE AND BREATHE for when we look like eldritch horrors but are just people lmao

IF I HAVEN’T RUN U OFF, 🫀 MY HEART, MI CORAZON <3

U HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MIND DESPITE BEING A BLOODY HEART

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only), Eldritch!Reader

Planet: Misc. Genshin AUs

Orbit: some headcanons, tiny scenario

Stars: a little bit of Zhongli, Xiao, Ganyu, Ningguang, Keqing, and the adepti

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Light Description of Body Modifications/Body Horror-esque, Light Description of Eldritch Horror Creature, Reader has a Non-Human Body,

& Trigger Warnings: Eldritch Monster, Light Body Horror, Non-Con Body Modifications (Wake up as a monster, described as positive).

FUCKING LOVE THIS GIF, AND THIS SONG AND ARTISTTT

hey so here’s a song to listen I was listening to while writing this, chose the instrumental bc it was less distracting!

👉👈 hope u like :)

you just come into Teyvat from either Enkanomiya, the straight up Abyss/Dark Realm or even Celestia/Light Realmunder that glowing mushrooms tree in the Chasm, or like, ooo even by the upside down Barbatos statue 👀

and its great bc ur like- “omg Teyvat ooooo, ahhhh”

meanwhile the animals/magical creatures/beings nearby like shakin in their boots

literally no matter what land type their in, water, air, etc. they’re all bowing (despite the hooves, the paws, the flippers, the wings,) hell, even the bugs?? Might be bowing???

and you were slow to wake up wherever you were, so it took you a second to really process-

plus it just felt so weirdly, natural?

Not like walking on 2 legs no, but more like, how swimming feels but without the act of doing it?

you realize you’re… hovering.

wow, guess you can do that now,

your pretty much crowned with every flower from the regions of Teyvat, and a few from other Realms like Celestia, Abyss, and Enkanomiya, etc.

you have extra limbs, you feel them shift like you’ve had them all your life, even tho you do smack urself a few times with them lmao (new hand-eye coordination is hard)

and you realize u can see elemental traces/elements of beings, even plants, all the time now?

It isn’t until you look into a pretty still pond that you see what you look like,

you’ve got more eyes

I mean u thought you’d just be one of the twins, or ur own person if somebody asked u what youd look like isekaied to Genshin Impact, not what looks like the elemental god of the fucking continent

but you don’t look bad! actually you think you look kinda neat!

You’ve got like this coat of many draping vines and plantlife, glowing coral poking out near the top that’s around your throat, and- is that- tiny waterfalls?? Running down your nature cape too??

the many gemstones and ore of this planet form your legs, strong and taller than even regular human guys back on Earth, you’re like what? Eight? Nine feet? (about 245cm, or 2.5 meters)

You’re head… it’s like a dragons skull?? You’ve got these black horns flowing out from the top too that fade to a golden glow, like a crown nearly, theyre draped with what looks like strings of primogems??

oh and your extra eyes are symmetrical that’s good!

tho it does seem like you got this handy hood included into your cape of much nature to flop onto your head

where your heart should be, there’s two bursting stars circling one another, one of pink, purples and light blues, the other of gold and blue, oh hey, the wishing stars for standard and character banners!

and if you like mushrooms, at least one of every kind in Teyvat’s countries/regions is looking cool on ur cape, and if you like bugs, the cool ones like the rhino beetles from inazuma are being cute little buddies on ur stuff too

and like in the gif, every step you take overfills with life, except it stays and doesn’t wither like above, and it also does that glow bit that some places in Sumeru do/Enkanomiya

You CANNOT be missed no matter where you walk, and your sort of constantly feeling like you’ve drank 3 energy + 5 espresso shots of coffee

but in a way that makes you sort of full? like full on life… and like you could be even bigger, and taller, if you willed it

♤

k but the adepti felt ur presence coming in hot from literal mountains away

Cloud Retainter, and Guizhong, had set up inventions long ago to sense the Original of Teyvat, just in case, because some signs of prophecy of your return had begun to show in their lands

Zhongli especially knew you were close to come after another major sign was met, the corruption after the Archon War, and the ravaging of the land by the fall of Khaenri’ah’s “metal beasts”

So when you finally walk your way into Jueyun Karst, the adepti are already waiting, Xiao, Ganyu, and Zhongli as well,

Luckily Ganyu, with Zhongli’s help or advice, convinced the adepti to share this meeting with the Qixing as well like Keqing, and the Tianquan herself

It was a momentous occasion after all, but you were just now feeling the need to maybe nap a little after nearly, what was it, 2 weeks worth of constant walking?

wow this new body had literal stamina for days

you arrived late into the night, around midnight, under a full moon, and they’re relieved all the signs are being met

◇

honestly the only reason you headed to Liyue was bc you knew it was the closest (the map of Teyvat was both familiar in the way it had been in game, but also on a deeper level, like walking around your house in the dark)

and u rlly wanted to be able to talk to somebody, bc u had no idea?? wtf you were??

honestly you thought the adepti/Zhongli would be a good bet bc they’d maybe tell u what creature u ended up as,

u did suspect maybe you’d ended up as some kind of god, but like?? none of the other gods looked like this???

and u see them all! up ahead in Jueyun Karst! Oh no! You really, really, really, hope they don’t think you’re a walking talking evil tree dragon thing-

…maybe you should wave?

◇

As you get closer,

Xiao’s back straigtens, Ganyu nervously looks at the ground, Keqing is trying to figure out where to look bc ur so tall, Ningguang has her hands respectfully folded in front of her and her facial muscles looks tensed for a fight almost, the adepti are shuffling nervously bc they’re not used to being the magically weaker/younger creatures in the area, and Zhongli-

Zhongli is no longer the mortal Zhongli.

Amber horns curl up from his head, long brunette hair with glowing gold tips flowing and loose, claws on display, as he stands in his finest and oldest lóng páo, black with gold detailing embroidered throughout, it details his deeds as Rex Lapis and Morax, the spears of his vanquishing gods across the front and back, he looks like a living painting

and although he looks as serene as if he’s about to sit down for some tea, the adepti can see the tremoring hands, the same he used to hide in his sleeves when he was genuinely intimidated by another god, usually the older ones he’d had to fight

but for the first time since the archon war, this was one he was going to welcome with open arms, and utmost respect, despite his position as archon forfeited

there’s a strange music in the air of the night as the animals and the bugs and creatures of the realm subtly make the beat, the god’s feet (of ore Rex Lapis hasn’t seen since he was a child, it was so rare to find) shake the earth of his land with each step, a deep quiet booming like a drum of war as they get closer

The God of All stops some distance away from them

…and the Huangdi of All, just waves. 💀👋

at Zhongli, the adepti, Xiao, the Tianquan, and the Qixing.

A long black limb with a rainbow shine like a crow’s wing raises, gives an ironically tiny wave of their clawed black hand,

and tilts their head, though a sort of greenery hood covering it

and speaks,

“ ˙˙˙ʎzɐɹɔ sı ʇıɥs sıɥʇ ¿ʍou ʇɥƃıɹ ɯɐ ı ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʍouʞ sʎnƃ noʎ op uɯɐp”

your voice is like singing, deep, high, like a choir trying to sing all at once to them

Xiao cringes a little in surprise, he was braced for your older speech just in case but it still caught him off guard, and unfortunatly, he gives a quick glance to Lord Rex Lapis,

he can’t understand any of that, and Ganyu and Keqing are in the same boat, but while the Yaksha’s only done passive studying in hopes of understanding you, the Lord of Geo had gone much further back in trying to make sure he could understand your words, should the day come, his library, even now living as a mortal, is extensive

the other adepti and Ningguang catch a few words, but it’s too,, simple really, to understand

the words have no context, they need more, but such is the ancients, they’re meanings simple and all-encompassing

Lord Rex Lapis bows deeply,

“We welcome you with open arms, our Huangdi. Please, feast your eyes upon the land with which I have wrought with mine own talons, for all is ever truly yours.”

the adepti announces for them all, voice giving away no nerves, Xiao can still understand him luckily, though he has greatly simplified himself for the sake of being understood by the ancient god of creation,

“ ˙˙˙ʞɔıʇs ɐ uo ʇsıɹɥɔ snsǝɾ ¡¿ılƃuoɥz noʎ uǝʌǝ ¿noʎ oʇ poƃ ɟo puıʞ ǝɯos ɯ,ı 'ǝʇnuıɯ uɯɐp ɐ ʇıɐʍ”

your voice is an energy through the air, and makes the trees nearby lean in to hear you better, the creeks and ponds of the area leave their beds a little to get closer, geo crystalflys emerge and begin to swirl around your natural body, perching on your horns, making it look even more like a crown

Xiao gulps.

Rex Lapis’ and Ningguang’s spines straighten further if they even can from the impeccable posture they were before, They share a quick glance…

…neither of them caught that one, only a few words, and Ganyu feels her shoulders drop as she gives up trying to hear you and understand as well,

you make a strange sound, a high humming, a deep confusion with some worry, the crystalflys buzz around you a little faster,

then point to yourself

...and make a peace sign. ✌️

it was going to be a long night.

☆

idk if this made any sense, and I sincerely hope that you at least liked what I wrote a little bit, sorry about the over description 😭 I just felt like it was very important but then I realized I hadn’t even talked about the language yet… anyway here u go LMAO

I hope it was alright, and I seriously love your idea, even if I didn’t take it in the direction you wanted/as cool as you meant!! :/

Thanks for the badass idea, i fucking love eldritch shit <3

☆

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[mellowwillowy]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫

Yan! Eldritch Horrors (or Monsterfuck for short) × GN! Reader

"I want you to gut me baby~"

""Say less""

Warning: NSFW, Inhumane Size, threesome, mention of wanting Reader to be a 'Mother', gruesome talk

So that's how you ended up in this mating press position, your guts rearranged by his inhumane size, your face dumbstruck by pleasure and pain at the same time.

"Ssshhh, you said you want to be gutted by us no? Take it, take it all~" his pace does not falter, it remains the same and steady, his veins hitting the spot you are dying for.

Of course, there's still another one present on the bed.

"Just wrap this cock with that pretty mouth, 'kay? Be good for us and we will reward you."

Your mouth is already sore from having his inhumane size still in you, drool pooling down on the mattress you three were on.

"So good~ so good for us aren't you, doll?"

His hand caresses the strands of hair from your face, sweats making it stick to your skin. You look down at your stomach and see something bulging out. It disappears then reappears again, pushing your guts upward, or so you think.

The other pulls out his member from your mouth and you immediately feel your sore jaw before he brings your hand to your stomach.

"Why don't you feel the thing that has been piercing you?"

"Oh-ho! Great idea! See? This is the proof of my love, gutting the fuck out of you," he increases his pace, his thrust getting deeper and harder, "feeling you in a way mortals shouldn't, oh how much I want you to be the 'Mother' of my offsprings~"

"Don't." He shoots the man above you a glare.

"What? I'm sure you want to see them bear us children too no~? Imagine seeing them round with our offspring in them."

"I'd rather not have the child eat and rip her alive."

Talking about those gruesome stuff while they are fucking you up? You love that. Truth to be said, the idea of being able to carry a child excites you, especially one that is inhumane and is capable of eating you alive to survive!

"What? Aha, are you sick? I can feel you clenching me!"

"Maybe our doll needs a bit of repair soon," he frowns as he peppers you with kisses, "I can't and won't let you ever bear any pain because of us..."

You kiss him back, tongue clashing with his. Not wanting to lose, he kisses you back, not letting you go until he figures you've run out of breath. He doesn't want you to faint just because of a kiss after all.

"Haa... khk- hey, what would you do if I wasn't joking?"

"... I'd fucking kill you"

"Wha-?"

This time the man above kisses you, unlike the passionate kiss you shared with the other one, his is more greedy and needy, teeth clashing against yours and tongue occasionally bitten.

"So close, soooo close... hey... I love ya'"

That was his warning before you felt something warm filling you up to the brim, hell the bulge is still there, all he has to do is pull out push your stomach down and his dead offspring will flow out of you like a tap water.

Just as he pulls himself out, he is immediately shoved to the side, "What a bad habit you got right here, not giving them a proper finish..."

"Eh? No... I, I came earlier so- ahk!"

He starts to stimulate you back, his fingers working their way around you, "Nonsense, you deserve more," his fingers insert themselves into your gaping hole, hitting all the spots that make you see the cosmic. His tongue licks your jaw, nibbling it before moving to your neck, giving you a hickey.

You come shortly after that, body twitching and mind dazes off into the unknown until he places his member on top of your face.

"Remember, I still haven't had my share, doll."

Oh that thing is surely going to fucking pierce and gut you up and you love that ♡

"Yeeeeeeshhh....."

---

Afternotes: I actually have the pairings in my head but I'll just let you guys decide.

[vigilskeep]

I appreciate how Spire knows and uses our pronouns, number one ally Spite (well Ghilan'nain uses romanced Taash’s correct pronouns too which I find so funny when they could’ve just framed the sentence differently, “I’m an eldritch horror bent on world domination but I’m not a transphobe what the fuck”)

i think spite is having a kind of objectively hysterical experience with gender here, in that... okay so if you believe mary kirby’s bluesky word of god then spite has no concept of what it looks like, or appearances at all. we are seeing it as lucanis’ mind perceives it, which is as what lucanis thinks he himself looks like (always in armour, never relaxed). and i rlly believe spite only gets he/himmed in veilguard because lucanis projects his appearance onto it and then makes the straightforward if a bit limiting assumption that something that looks like him is a he. this happens a lot to spirits e.g. justice gets automatically he/himmed because he ends up in kristoff and anders’ bodies, despite not having had much choice in either matter and canonically expressing curiosity about the new perspective being in a “female body” might offer. you could make the argument that spirits become what they’re believed to be and probably are affected by these interactions, but it’s more complicated than that, spirits do have individuality, and i think it would be obviously quite lame and bad if the form they end up in, and others’ thoughtless assumptions about it, defined everything

i don’t think spite objects to being he/himmed but i also don’t think that means spite necessarily has a gender. it just doesn’t have an opinion here. i’m not convinced spite knows what gender is. (i think we constantly need to lower our expectations on everything spite is actually aware of. i mentioned this before but i cannot express this enough: it doesn’t know why it and lucanis need to have skin.) all of which goes to say, in response to your ask, that i really don’t think spite is even capable of misgendering someone when it does not understand the situation here and is likely borrowing directly from what it probably thinks are the completely fucking arbitrary rules in lucanis’ head rather than comprehending any of this at all

(this is part of why i have made a habit of using it/its for spite even though i think he/him is generally used in the game. i think that’s more interesting in terms of exploring what spirits are, plus just easier to differentiate from lucanis while writing, plus i genuinely do not believe it’s invested in any of this. or at least i think it has not yet figured out enough to be invested in any of this. maybe it could do! spite is such a baby spirit with so much room to grow as it develops a place for itself in the mortal world. rook lucanis spite gender discussion is very funny and sweet conceptually to me, especially because i do not think lucanis has really thought about this either.)

i don’t know who ghilan’nain even gets her news on rook’s paramour from. but she’s up to date! i don’t think it’s that surprising though, i don’t know why ghilan’nain would be transphobic. there’s no reason to assume ancient elven society was like that afaik. i mean, they came directly from, and were led by, spirits who crafted their own bodies the way they wanted them. you couldn’t really describe any of the evanuris as cis exactly?

[instantpansies]

STRANGE NOISES FROM THE HOLE IN THE WALL HEADCANONS/INTERPRETATIONS UHHH OBVIOUS SPOILERS. CLARISSA CENTRIC CAUSE. HOLY SHIT

clarissa is to locomotion as clara is to the nutcracker. she's the kid who dreamed him into existence hundreds of years ago. i know he says he's older than the devil - i think that's still plausible, he's existed since thought but wasn't attached to the Silver Line or brought into physical existence until clarissa, lonely or in danger or just bored, imagined a world where she could escape from her everyday life and live as a grown-up(? maybe? since benjamin/timothy/billy seemed to age up as soon as he went through the portal?), with freedom and whimsy and eventually a relationship with the friendly driver.

why do i say this? because otherwise im really fucking confused lmao, that first scene where clarissa and loco are introduced is strange in the context of the end of the play. they seem to have known each other for a good while before they get on the train. they act like a young couple who's stumbled upon the silver line as an escape from danger and now they're excited for their new life in a new, safe world. except that loco also says he's been driving the train for years.

(looking back, that very much feels like a scenario from a child's imagination - or perhaps a dream - where of course he's been doing this for years, that's his job, but of course they're glad they've found the train together, this is a new experience for her so it's just an extension of her perspective)

but clara is, she says, a child when she gets on the train. idk how old "little girl" is, but if we run with this headcanon and also assume that the timeline is both linear and literal, she's imagining herself in some form of a sexual relationship with loco at a pretty young age.

i posit that this can be reconciled in several ways (some more disturbing or inappropriate than others), but one thing that could be considered is that the first scene where loco and clarissa are introduced is symbolic of their relationship over the course of the train's history. depending on how old clarissa was when she first dreamt the world into existence, she might not have even been very aware of loco, and spent her time just enjoying the escapism or whatever. after a few years or however long, she starts to get older and decides to learn how she's actually done this, maybe spends a long time trying to understand exactly what's going on. maybe her research leads her to a relationship with loco, i don't know. they do get on the train together, maybe, when they're both young (or, well, relatively speaking) and new to the world, and loco eventually has been driving the train for years and years and clarissa makes it a bit more tolerable with some companionship after a long lonely time. but those things don't happen simultaneously, because i think those things don't really work simultaneously. that scene is a sort of speedrun/amalgamation of how the two of them have interacted over the years. and yeah i guess that means they fucked at one point in there

(im going to be transparent, some of that is a bit of cope/rationalization. i think loco and the conductor are very exes/begrudging coworkers vibes, but i do like clarissa and loco together as well - unsettlingly powerful girl x eldritch being with a soft spot is a very good trope. and im trying to make it work out okay? give me a break lol. you don't have to agree with me on this, but once i see a luke and tom couple with a fun and compelling dynamic i will not let them go even if the ethics get a bit hard to explain later on. sorry, anyways moving on)

additionally, and i probably should have said this earlier, a reason i think this whole nutcracker theory holds up is because clarissa holds a sort of unique power in the world. she's been on the silver line for hundreds of real-years, who knows how many train-years, and still remembers her name and something of her old life. loco isn't hostile to her, even confirming her memory of her name and reminding her of her birthdate. with everyone else (ex. benjamin), he actively discourages them from remembering their lives. despite seemingly being one of the oldest passengers, she doesn't transform for hundreds of years. she obviously has some significance.

you know how that ties in? if this is clarissa's world, if her mind is what created the whole thing, then i think it makes sense to assume it's tied to her. as she begins to question her surroundings, then panic as she realizes she can't leave, her emotional and/or mental state becomes less stable, less utopic, less perfect. the dream begins to turn into a nightmare. and it becomes. well. an ouroboros. the snake eats its own tail and the train goes in circles and the escapist fantasy clarissa once loved becomes a prison of her own design. trapped in the very thing that was supposed to save her.

maybe that's why anthony and benjamin can get out when they do - as clarissa's world decays, as she finally begins to become part of the nightmare, as she melds with the train, the world has to shift a bit. it's reaching the point of no return - once clarissa has been fully sucked in, the train will never stop again. falling into an infinite nothing. but in that moment, there's one final chance for the conductor to stall locomotion, one final leap that could at last pull benjamin and anthony and everyone who's been sucked in by clarissa's black hole of a nightmare out of the portal and back into the real world.

and now, clarissa has lost three hundred years of a life that should never have lasted so long. gained perhaps thousands of years of memories of joy and connection and despair and panic and forever forever forever. and she is once again trapped in a vessel of her own making - her body is that of the child she has not been for lifetimes. her world is dead and gone - not just the world she created, but the world she escaped from as well. what of locomotion, that brief flash of connection? does he even exist anymore? who is she, now? who was she? where can she possibly go from here?

shoutout delirium_undead on discord for going along with the nutcracker theory and helping me flesh this out. your ideas are so galaxy brained and i am forever in your debt

[wellofdean]

Thinking about @luckshiptoshore and her liveblog of watching Supernatural and how much I love following it and how great it is to watch someone just fucking ENJOY the show...

And then, there were a couple of people in my Discord who love the fic, but have never watched the show, and folks in there were trying to convince them that it was worth watching (duh!) and that knowing the show by heart makes the fic so much better and like yes, again... DUH! And then I was suddenly overcome with such a feeling of ENVY for all the people who still have the chance to watch Supernatural for the first time already knowing what happens in the end.

I mean, I watched 14 years of it in real time (after downloading and bingeing season 1) and at least I was clever enough not to be in the fandom trenches that whole time, and just enjoyed it for what it was, but the end broke my brain, and changed the whole show for me.

Because, like, here's what happens in Supernatural by the end: Dean and Cas are in love. It was not subtle. Dean can't say it because he never has a single moment of not being up to his pretty, pretty eyeballs in dealing with the ongoing and constantly multiplying trauma of being the man his father raised him to be, and god's specialest boy to boot, but in the end, Cas finally does just fucking say it. Not only that, he waits until he can use it to save Dean, and show him once and for all in an incontrovertible, undeniable way exactly how deeply and truly loved and SEEN he is.

When you watch it knowing that, knowing that the the whole story is going to end in that stupid bunker dungeon with Cas telling Dean who he is and dying to save him, the whole thing just HITS DIFFERENT, because the Dean of season one with his outcast liminality and pretty, pretty lips is the poor, lonely, weird boy who will one day be loved like that by Castiel, an angel of the lord -- an impossible Eldritch being who learned what love and selfhood are from closely observing Dean.

The consensus amongst most Supernatural fans is that it is trashy and bad and that its all evil queerbaiting, but I would contend that it's actually deeply entertaining, culturally rich and interesting (yes, even its flaws and missteps), often impressively well-written and acted, never puts on any airs about being prestige television or high art, but still manages to be ultimately epic and somehow sublime, and that it's a queer story, about queer love saving the universe, and it is so, so worth watching.

Like, my brainworms are not 'they strung me along all that time and then never let them make out', by brainworms are 'they told us so many times and in so many big and small ways, and now I need to watch every bit of it again and again and again so I can finally REVEL IN IT (and, friends, that is the Supernatural rewatch journey: realising it was ALWAYS THERE). My brainworms aren't 'but does Dean reciprocate??' they are: 'of course he loves Cas, and of course Cas knows that Dean loves him, and the one thing Cas can't have? That's just his chance at happiness and a soft epilogue with and for Dean, because Cas, impossible, cosmic, Eldritch being Cas, traded his chance at happiness for his family's lives and sacrificed himself for love of his son and Dean, because that is what you do when you love someone, and what he has watched Dean never stop doing for even a minute of his beleaguered life.'

And then, Dean dies (yes, it's stupid), and he cannot just go to heaven, drink a beer and hang out, he needs to climb into his magic soul vehicle, hit the axis mundi and tear the universe up looking for his angel and his happy ending in The Winchesters? Fuck me.

And like, it's the most romantic, and devastating story I have ever been told? And I love it so much?

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 8 [PART 2]

Our guy is finally starting to understand how bad things are. <3

I think what he hates the most (after teleporting one singular time) is how this makes him lose his face. The #1 thing Joris hates the most, always, and forever, is appearing weak or unprofessional.

Yeaa lmao, everyone except for him has immediately oriented themselves in the portal, while he's struggling with the process and the landing...

Joris is way too confused to even begin being mad at this shit. Like ok. This is happening now.

I think the reason he isn't mad at this later is that it's a logical decision to [grumble, grumble] support a member of their party who was [deep sigh] struggling with teleportation for their common good as a team. Even if it was him.

The voices in my head compel me to screenshot him more.

I think Joris said this because he heard Yugo wonder if it's a trap and Yugo's opinions are very important to him <3 He's just like "man Yugo was right. 😑 as he tends to be when he's not being blinded by emotions. [is himself blinded by emotions as he is saying this]"

Joris is probably starting to get mad at Ad by now, but once again, "ughh I guess carrying the guy with the teleportation sickness, while we are all being chased by an eldritch horror, is logical... fuck's sake..."

I could write a novel about how good Toross is at randomly guessing Joris's insecurities and hitting them like every button on the keyboard.

He literally put the meaning of "You're 3ft tall, and I don't really take you seriously, and also the juxtaposition of all these three words diminishes your serious air of adulthood. You look a bit pathetic and boring, btw, despite all the expensive clothes and earnest airs. You're compensating very hard for something you don't have, and I can see that. :)" into two lines of dialogue.

And then he also uses the scare tactic of "btw I can see your Wakfu. And you are very good prey. Because you're a prey animal here. Did I mention I was going to eat you." (and also, unknowingly, this is striking at Joris insecurity #2: people learning information about him and, god forbid, perceiving him.)

AND the finisher is "however you're not good enough to be the main dish and I don't give a shit about you."

Loving Joris's little pout here. A very cute and balanced reaction to psychological warfare. Despite Toross hitting multiple good attack points, he only shows a little bit of seething on his face (but probably enough for Toross to know this got him a reaction. <3)

OF COURSE the guy whose feelings were insulted the most goes immediately after Adamai. He's so transparent about being mad, it's so funny...

When given swords, he literally fights like Atcham. [starts throwing up blood everywhere] Yeah no, no, I'm fine. Ignore me.

Of course you'd be good at dodging magical projectiles, and using your front paws to help you with jumping and standing while keeping your spine low to the ground (to avoid hits and get ready to jump/run once again). Where did you get these moves from? Your uncle? 🤣

He's so maddd.

Yeah he is mad, but also he is his usual calculating self: trying to get close to him to find any possible weakness, while trying not to show that it is, in fact, what he is trying to do. He is locked in.

Cat behaviour once again. Looking like a wild animal is a normal thing for him to do.

You see: for Joris, this is revenge for all the shit this guy said — and also a way to prove his worth as a human being, despite the fact that all those things Toross said are true. If he acts like he is cold and calculating and useful, nobody will know that it actually bothered him. His status as someone thick-skinned and heroic will be proven.

(He learned the "circle them to try and get closer while they're busy shooting you, and then attack them from the back" method from Atcham too, btw.)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slenderman x Maid!Reader || Drabble

Plot: After Slender has been, well, himself; and frustrated the hell out of you one-too-many times in a day so you storm out of the mansion for a walk to clear your head. He comes after you asking where the hell his servant is going-

Just in time to find the bear staring you right in the face.

//

Or, everyone is annoyed. Including the bear.

(Inspired by videos of animals CLEARLY SEEING something demonic that we cant see.)

Same universe as This fic and This fic.

Warnings: A little bit of Slender being an ass, high-stress situation, Slender being unhelpful and then scaring/hurting a bear (Just making the static noise so the bears ears hurt), mind reading, Slender in a dissociative hunting state, etc.

Tagging: @microwavemadness , @miss-understood , and @yesthetrashbin .

NO BEARS WERE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS FIC. WE DO NOT SUPPORT HURTING BEARS HERE.

You storm out of the there as fast your legs will take you without actually running, slamming the door as hard as you can behind you. Maybe he owns you, maybe he's your 'boss', maybe you have to do what he says for the rest of your life- but if you leave without asking, then the bastard cant tell you no.

After walking at the same powerful pace fueled by the raging frustration roaring inside you for a good 7 seconds, just breeching the wall of trees that surround the clearing that the spooky old mansion exists in, you freeze in your tracks violently fast; eyes wide as dinner plates and suddenly wishing you'd stayed inside and put up with your ass of a master.

Because there's a bear. A fucking bear. Its the size of 3 men, its staring right at you, you're stuck staring directly into the terrifying creature's black eyes (The worst thing you could possibly do in this situation), and it looks i r r i t a t e d.

You must have startled it when you stormed into the tree line.

S h i t.

~

When Slender looks for you after you left his office a few moments later, searching for your very annoyed little form (So much anger for one so small) in his mansion, blinking from one room to another until he's checked everywhere- he cant find you. And that ignites a flicker of frustration in himself. Where the hell have you gone, now?? He needs his servant. He loves his peace and quiet, absolutely, but annoying you is a favourite pass time. You're almost as high-strung as he is, after all. And with everyone else gone from this place currently (His brothers, the pasta's, his other proxies), he has all the time in the world to enjoy the quiet. For now he's bored, and he wants to speak to you about your lacklustre method of organising the linen cabinet; just make your life a little hard.

So where the fuck, did you go?

Static fizzing in the air around him, he turns his search onto the woods. He appears right at the edge of the tree line, and immediately finds you in your predicament.

"... ah." Well thats not an ideal circumstance for little Y/N, is it?

As soon as you sense his presence a few feet behind you and hear his voice, you feel all your fear boil over and you want to run behind him. But you don't- you stay still. Slowly, you take a deep breath. You speak while moving your mouth as little as possible, especially when the bear grunts and roars. It seems to hate your voice, but is unbothered by Slender's. Like he's not even there. "... Slender, help me."

Slender does intend to help, truly. He cant be losing his servant. He will not allow a thing, to happen to you. ... But that doesn't mean he cant use this. A glimmer of amusement tickles at the old eldritch monsters cold, ancient heart at the terrible situation.

He was only looking to mess with you a bit, before... but this infinitely better.

"Why should I? You stormed out like a child- this simply appears to be karma, to me."

Oh for FUCKS SAKE- You want to whip around and glare at him, or kick everything on the forest floor at him, but moving might mean getting mauled by a bear right now so you're forced to stay still.

"... please, Slender." You grit your teeth together. Even when the bear grunts again, and stomps a paw down into the dirt. "I'm sorry."

Slender takes the tone of a teacher, as if this is some mental 'teaching moment'. Pretending to be sensible even though he's LITERALLY crazy- He drives you nuts. "Now, that doesn't sound very sincere Y/N. You can do better the that." Stupid, evil, obnoxious, insane creature- "Thats definitely not going to do it."

"I shouldn't- " When the bear lands both front paws down on the ground, prepared to lunge at you and take bite right out of your neck you flinch. Start again. "I shouldn't have y- yelled at you... left the mansion... I'm sorry. Okay???" The bear must hear the panic in your tone, or maybe smells the fear all around you, because it gives a few huffs, and paws dangerously at the ground. Bares its teeth at you.

"Hmm... you know Y/N, I think the bear can tell you're afraid of her. What do you think?"

Suddenly the bear jumps up onto its hind legs, roars and slams back down on the ground, coming forward towards your soft, weak little body, and you squeeze your eyes closed against the terror. "Slender please!- "

When you aren't torn apart by claws or teeth for a few moments, and the roar turns abruptly into a whimper and then heavy breathing- you force yourself to crack an eye open just in time to see the bear backing off again; retreating. You look up with both eyes open to see Slender, grossly tall and with his tentacles floating in the air threateningly around you both, directly behind you now- hanging over you, and although your ears and your head are clogged up with horrible grilling static, you've never been so glad to have him with you; The very visage of a creepy marionette doll or otherwise. Lowering your gaze back to the bear, which looks terrified all of a sudden at the creature behind you and rubbing its poor ears at the sound- you immediately feel awful.

"Slender." You say, cautioning. "Slender, stop."

He doesn't respond, focus trained entirely on the bear.

"Slender."

With a thud of your heart dropping in your chest, you realise this must be what he looks like when he's not at home, seeming almost human with a supernatural ability to annoy you; when he's hunting. And immediately your stomach turns over.

Turning around in place, you grip his old worn suit and tug at it. "Slender!! Stop now! You're finished, the bear will leave!" You make your voice as hard and bossy as you can muster it, trying to cut through whatever horrible old monster instincts are over-riding Slender's personality right now.

When you finally get through to him, yanking his jacket so ferociously that you actually budge him (Not by much; but enough to get his attention), the static cuts off like a switch. He lowers his faceless head to see you down below him, and it takes a little staring, but he comes back to himself. He rolls his shoulders, and you release a relieved breath.

"... you don't want me to kill the bear?" He asks, softly. Almost disbelieving. As if he didn't know that about you; like he was someone else for a minute there.

"No!"

.... With a tone just like an eyeroll, back to himself, Slender straightens up again. You let go of him. "Of course not."

Slender gives the bear a final Look, and the bear turns tail and retreats fully into the trees. You cant see her only hear her- then you cant hear her anymore, either. Gone.

After a few moments Slender turns his head to you again. "... So. Are we going back inside or are we going to stand out here like lemmings for the rest of the day?"

With that he turns immediately, disappears, and then reappears on the porch by the front door; waiting for you. Pretending like none of what just happened actually happened even though you're still in shock and confused. What the hell was that?? Did he just fly into a dissociative state? Are his instincts to protect you???

... is that because you're his proxy, or because you've been having sex? That might be the most important question. What does this mea-

"-What are you waiting for? I have some notes on your ability to put linen away appropriately. Come."

You squint at him; stare into that blank white face waiting for you. Is he listening to you think and distracting you or is he really just that indifferent??

... you cant tell. No surprise.

"I'm coming," You sigh, trudging back towards the mansion. You can think more about this later, maybe. Maybe not. You probably should, but... "but I don't want your notes- "

"Oh you're getting them. Now, about your folding technique- "

But that would mean facing which you want it to mean.

[elbiotipo]

Finally read All Tomorrows last night and I know why people recommended it to me all the time, it was a very interesting piece of *biopunk* speculative evolution with a fascinating overarching story. It was also a breeze to read, I expected it would be long and a bit tiring (like Man After Man) but no, it was very illustrated and in fact it left you hungry for a bit more, I love the way it lets you fill in the gaps.

Of course, like always, it falls in the same old trope that biotechnology = bad and gross. It doesn't fall straight into saying biotechnology is evil, but the element of body horror is very, very, very much present in all the book. The fact that being warped into abominations is shown as the big event of human evolution reminds me of Man After Man, where "human evolution" doesn't occur "naturally" or as a result of, well, human selection, but as a result of a higher power messing with humans. All those strange beings we see in the book were not the ultimate result of environmental pressures, "artificial" selection or people bioengineering themselves. They were the result of fucked-up eldritch beings who wanted to make fucked-up humans. Which is kind of dissapointing if you are looking for a book that actually talks about future human evolution.

Which brings me to a discussion of the future of human evolution. Because, obviously, humans are evolving today. But I don't think we can see the real effect of biological evolution in the timescale we are managing as current humans. From a quick search, there have been only 500 generations since the arrival of agriculture and thus of all recorded or remembered history as we know it. That's not nearly enough biological time to see any major changes. Yes, there have been changes. And the development of human intelligence and brain size was quick and monumental, with many things we still don't really understand (like the origin of language and abstract thought). But do notice that the body plan of a modern human does not radically depart from Homo erectus, 2 million years ago.

Some authors like Olaf Stapledon (one of the great grandfathers of science fiction) in Last and First Men (which could be considered the 1930s version of All Tomorrows, in fact All Tomorrows to me is the modern Last and First Men) thought that we would continue to have evolutive pressures like natural selection and our species will continue evolving over millions of years. This is true as all species are still evolving including us, but in just a few decades we have discovered genetic engineering, and it won't be too long before, somehow, it is used in the path of our evolution. All Tomorrows of course talks about this with the Star People and later the Asteromorphs, but I believe it leaves out the prospect of humans guiding their own evolution for the (admitedly interesting) plot twist of the Qu changing them themselves.

What would have happened (or rather, what WILL happen) if humans are left to evolve by themselves? I'm sure that we will find somewhen. And I think that cosmetic genetic modification will be part of it, which is why I personally found the depiction of the Star People so boring. Now, I don't think every human will genetically modify themselves into supermodels, for starters, our parameters of attractiveness are based on culture and material conditions, and people will always seek variety, but I do think "sexual selection" would be a major part of human evolution, and that some forms like the Star People, as practical(?) as they are, just don't have the appeal. The utopia of the Star People should have been just as interesting as the dystopia of the Qu, with people experimenting new ways to adapt their bodies and self expression. Not to mention people adapting to the many strange environments of space by themselves (an old sci-fi trope). And of course, there would always be humans who don't want any of that, preferring to stay as they are, or return as they were. None, none of the Asteromorphs desired that at all?

Even in my own biopunk setting, however, the future of human evolution is something I only can see as far as a couple centuries on the future. Anything more than that, with the infinite possibilities of genetic engineering, makes me dizzy to contemplate. So I think All Tomorrows, for daring to do this billions of years in the future, is an amazing book.

[ariathelamia]

Hellhound HRT Month 6 (4 month wolf 2 month Hellhound)

Heya! It’s me again… starting to do some note taking which… i got kinda chewed out on not doing any of that when i woke up in the hospital-.. wait fuck getting ahead of myself. Let’s start from after I parted with Mars.

So, yeah I got home that day pretty ecstatic to say the least, I mean who can say that they get their meds from an eldritch ritual!... well Mars probably can but that's besides the point let me have this! 

The tablets taste awful, which is to say a lot since my taste hasn’t been the same since about month… 3 or 4? Something something Carnivores taste a lot less than herbivores or omnivores. Well anyway, meat tasted better than before, that’s for sure, but yeah everything else always tasted kinda… bland… so i started to enjoy textures more than taste… where was I?.. Oh yeah, taste of the meds… HORRIBLE.. like someone mixed the consistency of chalk with the aftertaste of puking your guts out… urgh… made a habit of putting them in a little bit of food and then down them that way… that way i at least only taste the food at first and only later maybe a bit of the meds.. 

Sooo anyway, changes… they happen fast on this stuff!! Maybe that's because there is a lot of change to come?... Or the cheap shot Erian gives us some diluted shit because he wants us on the meds for longer for a better and long lasting payroll… anyway! 

The most notable change is my fur… it changed COMPLETELY in color! It used to be orange with a few gray streaks here and there and now it’s almost entirely black with some gray highlights like the fur on my chest or around my wrists and.. other joints. pretty neat! Could swear some of these kinda look like eyes.. especially those on my elbow and knees.. wonder if it’s like a mark from who i got those meds? Well they look cool so i won’t complain!

But yeah pretty much my entire body is covered in fur now, with the fur in my face being a lot shorter and more dense… It feels REALLY fluffy though… like i swear to god i brush through it, and if i don’t press down it almost feels like brushing throw air… that kinda soft.

When it comes to other changes in my body… my legs hurt somewhat now… i guess that means they are starting to change form now too.. becoming.. digigrate.. or something like that? Wolf like! 

My Nails have now pretty much fused with my fingers. They actually look like really sharp claws now. Can’t pull them in yet so… gotta be double careful when scratching myself… already nicked myself pretty bad when I scratched an itch on my shoulder.

The tail has been as fluffy as ever~ I love this thing!!! Helped me a lot with my balance when doing parkour too! it’s just great~ 

Oh yeah! I am slowly growing a snout! hurts like a motherf-.... but damn finally!

Uhm… other than that… i noticed some tightness in my chest about three weeks ago… thought i just overexerted myself but… turns out it was worse than that. Which brings me to the reason I actually ended up in the hospital.

So here I was… meeting some friends from an online group that's basically made by therians for therians, which is an outdoor activity club for those of us that love exercising with our new formed abilities! Tell ya what, ain’t a damn human out there that can teach ya better how to use that tail for balance than some cat therian who already figured it out~ it’s quite specific and you gotta get a feel for it.. but their explanations helped a lot in increasing my stability when free running! Anyway I trailed off.

So I met those people again, that day it was another wolf therian like me- wait.. not like me, forgot i’m a hellhound for a second-, then there was that persian cat therian guy… and big ol’ me! We started easy with warm ups and stretches… that's also when my chest felt tight again for a moment.. but it went away really quickly so i ignored that… bad mistake.

Then we started running around the park at first.. into a more urban area of Hyper City, where we started to climb the buildings, jump some walls… typical kinda parkour stuff! It felt great having the wind in my fur, and doing it with a couple people that get it the same way I do! And boy oh boy am I happy they were there with me… 

Memory is a bit hazy… but I just remember being… hot.. like literally… my chest felt tight as hell, pun intended, and I was literally in mid jumping motion, past the point of no return…. two… and a half stories above some alleyway… and I freaking passed out, like that… From what the others told me I was right behind them… and then I was gone… but they saw some smoke coming up from in between the buildings… I was incredibly lucky I fell into a dumpster.. but must have hit the wall straight on before that… They had trouble getting me out cause… turns out when i told Mars i’d love to have a “fire in my chest”... the eldritch must have listened and taken it literally.. or it’s simply a hellhound thing to have freaking FIRE IN YOUR CHEST. But yeah grabbing me was difficult, too close to my chest and they got burned… even my freaking tank top burned away… god am i lucky i got fur covering my chest already.. the possible embarrassment!! 

But yeah they apparently got me out, called the hospital… and rest is uh history.

According to the doctor’s i had several broken bones… collar… lower legs.. right arm and shoulder… minor fracture of the skull.. lots of shaved skin from hitting a literal brick wall.. 

and to top it all off… freaking 185 degree fahrenheit (or 85° Celsius for us europeans) fever.

They apparently had to put me into an ice bath… and cooled me with tons of ice packs to try and fight the “fever”. Only when Erian, after they had called him in for a consult, figured out what was going on, they simply put me on heat proof bedding and sheets… and kept the temperatures from reaching too high. Guess we Hellhounds can grow a flame organ, kinda like dragons, in our chest.. When I asked them later if that means I can breathe fire they shrugged… I tried but nothing came out except for some smoke.. we all start small… but what we did find out was that, the heat that the organ produces is linked to my emotions. 

When i get angry, it goes up a lot! Happiness and excitement raises it somewhat and the calmer i am, the more towards “normal” temperatures it goes… Still don’t know what sadness does cause… they didn’t wanna force me to cry… tough luck trying in the first place, but they hypoth-... hyppo… they think it would lower the temperature further.

Anyway i am trying my best to stay calm and not get mad cause… while my organ is already functioning pretty well… my body still can’t handle the heat super well… It hurts when it gets too high and I end up with fever symptoms… so yeah gotta wait till I build up some resistance. 

Oh if you’re interested… i was apparently out for about 12 days- plus side, almost two new releases of my shows to watch! But… when i was out… I had some weird dreams… about the moon?... but also about those places i’ve seen from that ritual… They asked me to elaborate about it but nuh-uh, not gonna say a word to them! Not before I talked to Mars about it. Anyway yeah i remember some… weird creature trying to talk to me, didn’t understand a single word but it looked… at least a very little like mars… just… no visible eyes.. some long ass head… and big fucking grin… 

Had some time to think about it all a bit.. and one thing strikes me as odd. While i do take my meds during the early hours and the evening… the changes happen mostly at night… at least the biggest ones… sure the pain carries through the day but it only ever gets really bad at night… So it’s odd that my organ started to become active during the day… hm… bad luck i guess.

Now I gotta explain myself to Erian… way too many questions but he allowed me to rest for now before he comes back and asks them again… “Where did you get those meds? What species did you choose? Are you getting your check ups? Did you think for a moment before taking some back alley medicine?!”... blah blah…. as if it wasn’t partly his fault i had to ask some more… devious powers to help. Not that I regret it. Though it was nice of him to talk to the staff to let me continue taking those meds for now! I’m also back on his schedule again… probably better to be on “Mysterious alien provided Hellhound HRT” with a doctor that has seen a couple weird things already. Therian care seems to be still a little bit of an issue in most hospitals.... then again who can say they have an idea how to treat a hellhound… not something people face on a regular basis like a dog or a cat… 

The only annoying part is that… i’m now pretty much stationary… I get some visits from friends of the support group, and the runners group too, they bring me things I need… like a new tank top for when i finally get out of here… 

Oh yeah-... and the pain… god having broken bones AND changing bone structure is NO FUN! And the painkillers they give me are wack…. urgh note to myself… if anything feels slightly off before or during a run… stick to the low ground… 

________________________________

Yay Part two done! Lets keep the fun times going~

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[intimidating-fettuccine]

Can I request headcanons about Jason when he start organizing everything for his wedding with the reader? Not that specific day, I mean when the reader agrees to marry him and this man starts planning everything, I wonder what it will be like 👀

This got a bit long, but I hope you enjoy :)

Jason is SO FUCKING EXCITED to plan your wedding?? I mean the guy likes creating and organizing things, and so your wedding is like the magnum opus of all of the things he's ever wanted to do, especially because he gets to do it with you. As I have said before though, in any request about marrying Jason, your wedding is going to have to be pretty big. Jason has a reputation he's made and clawed his way up to the higher class society of the Underworld, and there are quite a lot of higher class demons and eldritch beings expecting invitations to your wedding once it's announced that the two of you are engaged. However, now that this thought is finally occurring to me, I think if you'd like to have a secret smaller wedding first with just you two and your closest friends and families, he's absolutely fine with that and would plan accordingly. He's very put together and mature about how he handles things, and he has such an eye for details that he wouldn't forget anything or let anything slip past him and end up incorrect.

Due to this, for the big wedding, Jason ends up quite particular. I've always seen the reception in my head happening in a very large and open ballroom, and I think he'd like the actual ceremony to be in a beautiful, open field with lots of flowers and trees surrounding you. I think he'd want the wedding colors to be red and black, but if you'd like different colors Jason is also fine to do a split theme. He does ask your opinion on literally everything he does because as much as he loves planning things, it is your day as well. When it comes to the flowers, I think he'd actually default to your opinion. He may want a say in the color, but when it comes to the actual flowers he wants them to be your favorite flowers. If you suggest doing half your favorites, and half of them his favorites, he feels quite flustered and happy about that and is very willing to go with that idea. I feel like he would also leave most of the menu up to you as well. It's taking place in the Underworld, but if you want all of your favorite human dishes to make up the entire menu, he wouldn't mind, as he'd want you to be able to eat and enjoy every single food item the two of you would have there.

When it comes to desserts, I think he'd want the entire wedding cake to be for just the two of you. It's something I personally have seen at a couple of weddings, and I feel like Jason would absolutely love it. When it comes to the guests, you can have separate cakes and other desserts for them to enjoy that the two of you could also partake in, but the actual wedding cake Jason feels would be more special if the two of you picked a flavor you both liked and had a small, personal cake of for the two of you to cut and eat together. Jason would also TOTALLY hand make little wedding toppers that look like the two of you. When it comes to the outfits the two of you will be wearing, Jason wants to definitely make his own outfit himself. When it comes to yours, if you'd indulge him and be okay with it, Jason would really, truly love it if you'd let him make your own outfit so the two of you could match. However, if you insist it has to be a secret from him, he would probably request that you allow Trender to make it (as Trender is pretty much one of the only fashion designers in the Underworld Jason trusts), and he'd give Trender Jason's plans for his own outfit, that way even if it's not exactly what Jason wanted, the two of you could still match (I would just let Jason do it personally though if you really could). When it comes to music, he'd let you both go 50/50 on the playlists, and I think he'd let you choose the first dance song. While Jason wants creative freedom in the wedding, he's definitely not a groomzilla of any sort, and he is very fair and open with whatever you might like to be in the wedding as well. He views it as a day for both of you and thinks you should both be equally happy with the ceremony and reception. He loves you more than anything in the entire universe, and he truly just wants the wedding to be done and over with so he can call you his spouse both emotionally and legally, and get started on spending the rest of your lives together.

[clownhara]

is there like a jester ocs 101 i do wanna learn about them

Putting these under a read more because this might get long

My family :)

Edward Roberts-Rosales: I made too many jokes about this bastard being my dad and now he's my dad. High key wants to fuck plants. Evades taxes like no ones business. Kind of a shit guy but it's funny to watch him mess up everything so we keep him alive for that alone Max Rosales: My better dad. Can really do so fucking much better than Edward but he settled </3. Is a plant man. Likes baking. Is the dad that actually loves me. Heron Rosales: I don't do to much with her but I'm trying to do more. Max's trans sister. Wants Edward dead and honestly, we don't blame her. Average chronic pain haver tbh please get her some Ibuprofen. Boaty McBoatface: My brother who is a boat. Edwards favorite son, despite being terrified of being on boats after he was the sole survivor of a ship wreck. I fuckinh hate this thing

Project Moon adjacent ones

Despise Domek (Or just Des): Local Enkphalin hooked rat. Goes by it/they but people close to it can call them she/her. There are two remaining people who can call them she/her. Steals things from people it likes to keep a piece of them, so don't invite them to your house. Things WILL go missing. Says the phrase "Well it didn't kill me so I'm fine" way to god damn often. Ambrose Domek: Not actually related to Des at all his parents just stole Des's parents last name. We heart religious fanaticism to the point of self harm!!!!!! Has two boyfriends and has convinced himself neither of them like him. Him and Des are besties :) Keith: Real Jester-heads remember Keith. I made this bastard before Ruina came out and he keeps fucking staying relevant to whatever game is out. How does he do it. Lobcorp him is Geb and Myo's adopted son, a Rabbit, and had a complex where he's gotta prove himself 24/7 and ends up getting his leg ripped off. Ruina him is trying to find Gebura again after the whole Library situation happened, and is wildly distraught after learning Myo's whole deal. Limbus Keith is content, much older, runs a weapons shop, and is gay married to Heathcliff. Jesus Christ I made him before the new translation of Lopcorp happened I think HOW LONG HAS HE EXISTED WHAT THE FUCK

Damien Domek: Also not related to Des, just took it's last name because he liked it. They are qprs though. Also is broke as shit but mostly stays out of the Rat lifestyle by just old fashioned robbing people. Loves lying to people for fun and profit, but he is honestly a pretty nice guy. Minus the lying

Randos

Arlo: Disgusting rancid cyborg scientist who needs to bathe and touch grass. I adore him though. Ellie: Arlos little sibling. She/they user. Kills people for money and feeds the bodies to the eldritch horror that follows her around Hector: The eldritch horror that follows Ellie around. usually just looks like a dilf tbh its easier for Ellie to explain. Can't actually speak so he usually just talks telepathically while making a bunch of hums, chirps, and clicks to mimic speaking.

Oleander: Local unethical scientist that unethicaled a bit too hard when trying to revive his even worse older brother and turned off most of his emotions manually to avoid coping with the mental toil. Sad! Many such cases. Can't feel any emotions other then joy now. Kinda sucks but he certainly doesn't seem to upset about it :)

Simon: Oleadners brother. Kinda. Moreso a robot piloting Oleanders brothers body. Fucking hates Oleander but after Oleander lobotomized himself Simon begrudgingly takes care of him now. Despite his complicated feelings, he's wildly overprotective.

Cybel: A robot Oleander made! They are meant to gather as much information as they possibly can in case some horrible event happens that kills off humanity. is quite literally indestructible. Likes ice cream.

Octavius: I made this guy to be a danganrompa villain back in high school and I succeeded too well. I fucking hate this fake ass bitch

Tabb: This fucking guy. Trapped in a time loop but he doesn't know and its technically not a time loop. Met his (now) husband ages ago but died shortly after meeting him, so he revived Tabb, then the two got married, then Tabb died again so Halt (the husband) revived him again but he lost his memories then halt died and Tabb revived him the Tabb died again so Halt revived him but he lost all his memories so they dated again and got remarried then Tabb died again and you get the idea. Very nice guy, a bit anxious, perfectly normal minus the dying thing. If it wasn't for him losing all his memories and Halt tampering with shit so he was in love with him i uh. Don't think he'd actually like Halt all that much tbh

Halt: Just wants to be happy with his husband :(. Sad he unethicaled all over that science. Hey are you noticinga theme here. Also he's a cat boy but thats really not relevant to his depression issues

Urge: Halts kinda milfy twin sister. Really sick of all of this loop bullshit because she gets to watch her bestie Tabb die repeatedly, so she packed up her bags and left. Can't be in the same room as Halt without them getting into a fist fight. Do you see the themeing with their namesan d their ideals. Halt is kinda halted in place but Urge keeps pushing forward because she has the urgeto move on. Do you see it. It is almost 1 am

Russel: A kid that got roped into this whole mess because he walked in on a Tabb revival tube without permission. Sticks around Urge most of the time. Had a bad homelife to put it mildly, so Urge took him in.

Theres way more of these bastards but these are the most relevant ones. I am going to bed now. Goobnight

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

Question about your Polyverse AU: I’m a bit new to your AU, I saw the siblings post, but I wanna know…where are the mom and dad?

(Basically I wanna see art of what happened to the mom and dad, but you don’t have to draw the art if you don’t want to it’s your choice this is just a request)

Uhm so- You said you're new so you might have missed it but I explained the Poly sibs parental situation in the plot summary i made >>> HERE <<< a couple days ago. but i guess i did kinda gloss over it so i'll be more specific- and ill try to include some doodles!!!

The polysibs (excluding Sillybilly/Yourself, he's very new, and adopted so, ignore him.) have no parents- instead they have this giant eldritch angelic abomination known as The Collective

The Collective is a GIANT MASS of angels that gave up their physical form to SMUSH themselves all together to gain enough power to change the code of the fucking universe like a god. Why did they do that? you might ask?

Oh ya know. To try and make a genocidal angelic bio weapon that would kill all the "flawed" people and demons on earth and destroy hell by committing angel mitosis and code manipulation. They failed the first three times (2D, BB, Sally) and made Miku and Keith together. Keith was their golden child, the hero they were looking for, the bitch with the plot armor and the voice that warps reality- and they basically put Miku in a robot body to control her into being Keith's body guard.

Safe to say- this plan didn't work when Keith fell in love with a "flawed" mercenary, hot demon babe, and "flawed" demon ghost hybrid.

They brought him up to heaven when he was old enough and showed him all his partners wrong doings and everything and mans was unphased. he said fuck yo shit I'm in love with them.

and The Collective got pissy- but turns out being mushed together for that long is uh??? not good for you- so while BF and co. are fleeing the shit outta heaven, goopy toothpaste mcgee falls off the edge of heaven LITERALLY cause its a giant sky palace- and its so fucking corrupted it can't co-ordinate with all of itself to fly and not get itself thrown into the code.

In the code- the ACTUAL gods of Polyverse, Chaos and Order, are like 'ur a fucking dumbass' and pull the collective apart LITERALLY limb from limb in what quite possibly might be my favorite interaction of the whole RP to the point where summarizing it does no justice you can read it here if you want. (Mild Gore TW)

SO IN CONCLUSION:

Bf and his siblings have no parent anymore. They all practically disowned them for trying to control their lives in a very fucked up way, and then the gods of the universe DESTROYED them so like. YIKES LOL.

[riveracheron]

hey guys have my wild magnus protocol theory that stemmed from me just overanalyzing the little bits of content we have

i think lena is a homunculus.

(spoilers for the pilot and jonny + alex’s post pilot discussion under the cut)

basically this stems from. a lot of places w small amounts of information so some of this might be stretches. But

1. a lot of marketing around protocol mentions the theme of “what does it mean to be a person?” which. leads me to believe there’s gonna be a plot around a protag being Not Human but has the heart or whatever the fuck. standard pinnochio or wizard of oz story. sure youre not human but ur a person bc of xyz free will or whatever

2. lena’s behavior in the pilot is So odd and almost inhuman in its extremely dull corporate jargon way. she literally uses things like “you can file a complaint” or “here at the oiar we….” (advertiser shit) , in genuine conversation. she doesn’t leave the building, either and has a Generic office party.

im genuinely thinking bureaucracy and the weird eldritch stuff of the oiar is Literally all she knows, not that shes being manipulative and evil in the trailer like elias; she doesn’t or maybe cannot question the whole. asking sam about the eldritch trauma thing, something something cant understand human emotions and why that might be troubling.

also “people like chocolate cake.” that sounds weird and something someone with only base knowledge of humanity would say.

she’s described as “an odd one” by jonny and that we will “get her soon”. im under the full belief that shes the non-human character of the bunch thatll yknow. have the Real Boy plot

3. homunculus specifically comes from all the alchemy shit around protocol, and homunculi are some of the most famous alchemical creations in popular culture, and i think she’s not. an entity creation. lenas too much of an important character to just be like. tied to An Entity, as a main character extremely tied to the OIAR, that entity would have to be the basis of like the entire plot of protocol; which i doubt theyd do.

the eye is so important to archives because the themes of archives was the consequences of knowledge- the entire plot was engineered around the Eye as the Main Character Entity and the Eye was written to be that in turn, sorta similarly to how Griffindor is the Main Character House (TM) of HP with its themes of bravery. i doooont think the oiar is tied to the stranger or flesh or any other simulacrum creating entities.

all that to say i think lena is a different kind of artificial human, one that’s manmade rather than entity made yknow?

we get glances of the people above her in status, theres mentions of an ephemeral “he” in the pilot, so. heres what i think

the He in question is an alchemist whose in charge of the OIAR (and maybe other branches but lets focus w the oiar). He created Lena the homunculus to be the middle manager of the branch in his stead; “programming” her to be as dull and corporate as possible to keep the employees in line or whatever. something something shes got a plot wrestling with that and her inherent lack of persondom

EDIT: totally forgot this part

adding that the first statement’s plot was about an abomination of corpses given a humanlike shape and coming back wrong which is. exactly what frankenstein’s monster is, and frankenstein’s monster is considered a homunculus.

with the anglerfish’s importance to season 3 of archives i definitely think the Arthur monster will come up again in some form, but maybe instead of Actually being In Podcast maybe its a parallel to the main characters’ story in the same way that many s4 statements were used to give us more information on how jon is working through it all. the zombie statement when he just wakes up comes to mind especially. maybe it’s a hint and echo of what a Character in podcast (lena) is

[avelera]

So I wrote 7,800 words of an entirely new Dreamling fic yesterday pretty much out of NOWHERE based on a what-if headcanon chat that got ENTIRELY out of hand.

Basically, I’ve always found it weird that Hob is, well, WEIRD for an immortal. And I adore it! There’s basically no other immortals in fiction, or very few, who consistently have a day job, don’t become superheroes of enlightened morality in a couple lifetimes, or otherwise leave normal mortal life behind. Except Hob.

But there’s other weird stuff Hob gets up to in the comics especially. Namely: nothing. He sees a Sea Serpent in Hob’s Leviathan and just sort of… shrugs it off. He supposedly ran into a vampire coven while hanging out with a Constantine and they killed Constantine and kinda left him alone. He seemed otherwise pretty unphased. Between 1689-1889, unless he’s with Dream, very little happens to him. He just seems prosperous in both meetings.

But while Dream is gone, during the Blitz, his wife Peggy dies in his arms. That’s pretty dramatic. That’s main character tragedy.

So what if… Dream subconsciously pigeonholes Hob as not a fellow immortal of increasing antiquity, now over half a millennia old, but… just a guy. Just the guy he met in 1389? That certainly seems to be part of why he reacts so poorly to being called lonely in 1889. He can’t fathom that the human mudpuppy he met in a tavern that was basically a hovel could suddenly have INSIGHT into one such as him. But Hob was over 500 years old at that point! And Dream respects other eldritch creatures like fae and demigods, even if they are younger than him. So what gives that he doesn’t see the 500+ year old immortal human as maybe capable of insight into the life of a fellow eldritch being?

Because Dream doesn’t think of Hob that way.

And Dream IS the human subconscious.

Things get really meta from there because right you’ve got all these Doylist reasons that Hob is Just A Guy who seems allergic to getting involved with any of the grand stories of Sandman except as a bit part. A minor character even in his own story. But since it’s a story about stories, you can make it Watsonian too.

Maybe because Dream doesn’t think HE has a story (he says, in the comic which is ABOUT his story, thus undermining his point with a 4th wall break) and Hob is the only person in his life who is basically a normal friend and not a subject or family member or eldritch colleague… does he mentally pigeonhole Hob as not having a story either but just being witness to other people’s stories, like Jim?

It’s kind of weird isn’t it how in Hob’s Leviathan he spends the whole thing WONDERING what secrets lie beneath the surface of the ocean but when the sea serpent bursts forth he just sort of… shrugs?

It’s a bit weird too, in the show, even though I adore how unexpected the beat is, that after 34 years’ delay, Dream shows up and Hob barely reacts except to quip that he’s late. Though I’m sure Dream was very grateful. 

… so I kinda wanted to do a one-shot about how this is actually an eldritch effect Dream accidentally cast on Hob. He sees Hob as just his normal friend despite being immortal. So Hob is Normal. Aggressively normal. He has a day job despite being 600+ years old. He exhibits none of the typical behavior one would expect out of a man who loves life so much he refused to die. And Dream realizes this when he learns that Hob’s 20th century was INSANE, filled with adventures and high drama and lost love and passion. A century where Hob was the protagonist in his own life story again. And it all abruptly stopped and he went back to having a normal human job the second Dream was free.

Anyway, Dream is gutted by the realization. The rest is them figuring out how the fuck this HAPPENED and if it can be fixed.