#it really is so cringy sometimes for no reason

[idkmynameiskat]

Also, probably an unpopular opinion, but I swear if Demon Slayer got rid of at least half of the cringy/“funny” scenes they put into the show, it would 100% be in my top 5 anime

[magentagalaxies]

1 & 2 :-p

thank you!!

"1. Song of the year" and "2. Album of the Year" are such a tossup for me bc there are so many songs i've listened to that have defined specific moments this year and also 2024 has been such a good year for new music??? like idk how so many of my favorite artists' album cycles somehow happened to sync but i'm genuinely considering making a post ranking every new release i listened to in 2024 bc i have a lot of thoughts. anyway all this to say in my attempt to choose one album and one song i accidentally chose 3 albums lmao enjoy

Song(s) of the year: "Midwest Indigo" and "Oldies Station" by twenty one pilots

i have a complicated relationship to the band twenty one pilots. they were THAT band for my angsty 13-year-old self and while i still feel a lot of nostalgia for their early work, i haven't considered anything they've done a "favorite of the year" since middle school. that is until their 2024 album "clancy"

the trouble with the angsty bands you attach to in middle school is sometimes as you grow up, the music doesn't grow along with you. but jfc if "blurryface" was the perfect album for me leaving behind my childhood and becoming a teenager, "clancy" feels tailor-made for all those complex emotions of a final semester of college.

"midwest indigo" is a song about anxiety and seasonal depression, sure, but it's told in such a mundane and relatable way (it's literally just that feeling of "FUCK it's so cold out here. FUCK why isn't my friend texting me back it's been 2 minutes. FUCK my therapist just rescheduled again." but none of these things are the end of the world, you just keep going.) also the instrumental is so tight and it's very fun to loudly sing along to in the car

"oldies station" on the other hand is the only time twenty one pilots has made me cry since i was a preteen. (or should i say "times" bc i swear i teared up the first like 20 times i heard this song). it's such a hopeful song about mental health but never in a way that feels like it's bullshitting you. it's not "everything is going to be fine and perfect forever", it's "yeah your mental illness might never go away but you learn to manage it even if your progress isn't always liner. and someday you'll be at a red light and your favorite song will be considered oldies and you'll have one of those moments like i'm so glad i stayed alive to see this" fuck i'm tearing up just writing about it lmao.

it just felt really special to see this band i kind of "outgrew" suddenly meet me exactly where i'm at, bc i've made a lot of progress on my mental health in the past 2 years and had plenty of "oldies station" moments, while also dealing with trying not to fall apart over "midwest indigo" type stress. i don't expect everyone to have the same emotional connection i do to these songs but they are some of my favorites of 2024

Album of the year: Stick Season by Noah Kahan

ok this section is gonna be shorter bc i'm being more general but basically even tho it didn't come out in 2024 i listened to stick season (specifically the "we'll all be here forever" version with the bonus tracks) in full for the first time on january 9th 2024 and i have been obsessed ever since. literally 21 of the top 22 songs on my wrapped are every track from this album. i went as "noah kahan" for my halloween costume. i went through a phase where i would sing along to the entire album at least once a day

stick season is actually pretty different than my usual music taste (i don't tend to like more acoustic production and there's a huge country influence in a lot of the songs) but its songs are each so well written, both with poetic lyrics and strong hooks, and even tho it's not a "concept album" with a specific story the whole album has such a cohesive theme and sense of place that by the end of the "we'll all be here forever" version it feels like you just watched a movie. highly recommend

also i find it very sweet that of my top 2 albums, "clancy" is an album i can bond over with my dad (he's honestly a bigger twenty one pilots fan than i am, he got into them when i was in middle school and he keeps up with their music much more than i do) and "stick season" is an album i bond over with my mom (she got into noah kahan a few months before i did and there were times when i'd call her while at college and we'd just go off on a tangent about how good the album is)

anyway honorable mention to MOUTH CONGRESS's "Valley of Song" i honestly wouldn't say it defined 2024 for me quite as much as 2023 bc so far most of my associations with it are seeing it come together before the release, but it's definitely among my top albums that released this year, give it a listen if you haven't already

anyway thank you for the ask!!

End of year ask prompt

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

[unluckiestmember]

K-Pop Demon Hunters X Reader

Characters: Mira, Zoey, Rumi and Jinu

Warning: Some curse words, kind of hints to spoilers if you squint hard enough but outside of that, none. SFW.

A/N: Guys, I'm scared that I might be becoming CoryXKenshin. You know what else I'm scared of?... How much I love Mira, help me-

Mira

“That was a pretty cool show, right?… You were checking me out, weren’t you? You were totally checking me out.” Dating Mira is the literal definition of chaos. One minute she’ll have the two of you relaxing in her bedroom watching corny tv shows or criticizing a bad rom-com if not a horror movie. The next she has you two rolling heads at a press meeting, loving how people swoon over your relationship and quick to bite off the heads of those who criticize. Mira’s not exactly super romantic, more playful than anything. She shows her love in initiating pillow fights or tickling you suddenly, but that doesn’t mean she’s above a makeout session or cuddling before a show.

If you need to be affirmed of your love, she will cup your cheeks and tell you how much she loves you. She never really had affection from her family, so she knows how it feels to not be cared for and reminded of how precious you are. But she’ll remind you every damn day if she needs to. You’re her partner in crime and, as cringy as it may sound to her saying it aloud, you’re her one and only. A real ride or die.

Zoey

“Soooo what did you think of that one? Did you love it?! Because guess what? I wrote that one for you~!” Out of all the girls in Huntrix, Zoey is arguably the one to not hesitate showing her heart on her sleeves. It’s one of the reasons why you two are together. When she first saw you, she just knew you were the one. Were you her type? Yeah, that was a plus- But just your personality was enough to make her feel as if she was standing in the presence of pure light. To her, you are so cute that sometimes she’ll just. Freeze and get lost in your eyes or cup your cheeks and admit how breathtaking you are, even at the most weird of times. Same goes for kisses too! She will not hesitate to jump off the stage and pull you into an electrifying kiss!

Whenever she has free time, she’s running straight to you, talking your ear off about the many ideas she has for songs mainly about you or telling you stories. Even when she is on tour, she makes sure you’re there every step of the way. She hopes one day she can take you to visit her old home, but for now, she’s content just with being your sweet, loving, sometimes clingy girlfriend that totally doesn’t always daydream about you two getting married.

Rumi

“Okay. The show’s over, Mira and Zoey are stocked on snacks and the fans all got their autographs! Which means I am all yours for the evening~.” It’s honestly a miracle that you were able to date Rumi and even the rest of Huntrix along with Bobby believes that. That passionate workaholic found herself intrigued by you, mainly in how you looked at her and spoke to her as if she wasn’t some idol but just. Well. A person. It took some easing up before she actually tried to give things a shot between you two, but when she finally did, she had to admit she’s never felt as happy as she did with you. She loves how you help her get out of her shell sometimes and remind her to relax when necessary. In return for such sweet gestures, she showers you with sweet touches, beautiful whispers and affirmations as well as a nice meal when possible.

When she told you about her past, she was sure you would leave her. But when you stayed by her side, helped her become comfortable in her skin and even let your love grow stronger? Well, it made her just realize one thing; You were everything she could ever want and more.

Jinu

“Sorry for the wait, sweetheart, for a second I thought the fans were gonna snatch me up. A shame they can’t see I’ve already been swept off my feet by you.” For Jinu, love was never on his radar. He never dismissed the idea of being in a relationship, but he never thought it would be possible either. Until he met you. Honestly, when you two first met, he thought you could be useful, a tool even and that was all. But the more you two hung out, the more he realized how much his heart beat for you. He began to crave you by his side, enjoyed your company and how you treated his pets. He especially loved how you saw him as a person and not just some demon. Eventually, he asked for you to be in a relationship and when you accepted, he was more than elated.

Of course he tries to keep you away from Gwi-Ma with a ten foot pole when he’s working and makes sure you’re never in harm’s way. When he’s free to relax, he’s quick to slip into your arms and just enjoy being near you. He’s lost so much, due to mistakes or not. But he’ll be damned if he loses you too. You’re too precious to him. As far as it’s concerned, to him, you are his soul.

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3

[candylix]

great minds think alike | bang chan

A sequel to blow my mind, read that one first! Pairing • Chan x GN!Reader Summary • After failing your test, you decide to go to the library to study. But when you get there, you see Chan. He wasn't the reason you failed, but he definitely didn't help. You said you weren't going to read his mind again, but after the first incident, he hasn't left your thoughts. It couldn't hurt to see what he's thinking about this time, right? Genre • college au, fluff, smut WC • 2.6k Content • sequel to blow my mind, no pronouns used but reader does have a vagina and breasts, mind reading, dirty thoughts about: asking you out 🥰, public sex, groping, thigh grinding, clit stimulation. Chan has an exhibitionism kink. Indented paragraphs indicate what's happening in his mind and not real life.

You really needed to bring your grade up. Normally you do alright, but that score was going to plummet your GPA. You never expected cheating to backfire so hard... but how could you possibly predict that the person you were mind reading would be thinking about sex the whole time?

This time, you'll be prepared the right way. You carry your textbooks and notes to the school library, and you're going to buckle down and study.

You enter the library with your foolproof plan in mind. You even set your timer for an hour, so you know when to take a break after all your hard work. But you freeze when you get to the tables and see a certain man already there.

Chan is studying too. You can feel your heartbeat thumping in your chest. After the test, you caught yourself thinking about him all the time. When you saw him, you felt butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to be around him, but you felt too anxious to say hi.

Safe to say, you've formed a little crush on him. It was embarrassing to admit to yourself, because you know how it happened. You read his mind, saw him fuck you on the desk, and now you want to hold his hand and kiss him.

Before you can even think rationally, you find yourself walking over to his table.

"Hey, mind if I study here?" you ask, mentally punching yourself for breaking the plan this easily.

He looks up, startled by the sudden intrusion, but his shock fades into a smile when he sees you.

"Go ahead," he responds. You pull out the seat across from him and put your stuff in front of you, as if you'll actually be able to get any studying done.

"Did you see your test score yet?" he asks.

"Yeah... let's just say there's a reason I came here to study."

"I didn't do too well either. Not bad, but not good."

"What happened?" you ask. You know what happened, but you want to see what he has to say.

"I, uh," he starts, and you see his cheeks start to flush. "I got a bit distracted."

'A bit distracted' is the understatement of the century.

"I hope I don't distract you, then."

He laughs nervously at your comment.

"Well, um, I'll get back to studying then," he says, and hides his face behind his laptop.

You open your textbook and think about studying, but you know you wont be able to resist peering into his mind. With the way he reacted, you know he's going to think about something interesting.

While pretending to read the book, you focus on him, and his thoughts gradually fill your head.

'Ok, Chan, focus. You can do this. Just... read your notes... focus... it would be rude to leave, right? I'm not gonna be able to focus like this.'

There was a small part of you that thought he didn't actually have feelings for you, and that he was just a pervert. But from the way he's struggling to study because you sat at his table, you can tell he really does like you.

'Do you want to go for coffee after this? No, that's stupid, it's too late to get coffee. What about... Wanna go see a movie sometime? That's stupid too. Ugh. How do you ask someone out without being cringy? Maybe I should buy some flowers? No, I'd have to carry them around all day like an idiot. This is too hard. I should just jump into a volcano. That would be easier... But this is such a good chance. I have to say something before I miss another perfect opportunity...'

His thoughts are racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he's going to say to ask you out. He said something about missing another opportunity... how long has this been on his mind? You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you think of every time you talked, wondering when he was thinking of asking you out. There have been a few times where he looked like he was going to say something, but just kept quiet. Was that him chickening out? Maybe you should put him out of his misery and ask him to dinner.

You tune back into his mind, just in time for him to imagine a scenario involving you.

He's sitting in the library across from you, exactly how you are now, but he's wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. "Hey babe, why don't you stop what you're doing and take a ride with me tonight. I'll make it worth your while." He winks, and a motorcycle comes crashing through the wall to stand next to him. He takes a seat on it, and you run up to get on behind him. He revs the engine a few times to look cool. You wrap your arms around his waist, feeling his six pack through his shirt. Then he rides the motorcycle out of the hole in the wall and into the sunset.

You can't stop a chuckle from escaping your lips.

"What are you laughing at?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Um, nothing. Just remembered something funny my friend said earlier," you lie.

You both go back to 'studying'. That was a close call. Not that he would ever guess what you're doing, but you did want to see where that fantasy was heading. You don't have to wait long before another one starts again.

You're both sitting in the library. He clears his throat, and you look up at him. "Sorry to interrupt, but... would you want to... maybe... go out with me?" he asks. "No." You say flatly. Then you take your textbook and smack him across the face, before leaving the room. 'Chan, that would never happen,' he thinks to himself. The daydream resets, and you're back where you were before, sitting across the table from him as if that never happened. He suddenly stands up, grabbing your attention, and walks over to your side of the table. He sits on your textbook, forcing you to look up at him. "We're done studying for today. I'm taking you out for dinner." "But-" "No buts. I won't take no for an answer." "I guess I have no choice then," you say, giggling. He fixates on your smile, they way you look at him, your lips... and everything freezes.

Chan buries his face in his hands. He wanted to be a cool, suave ladies man, but even in his imagination he loses his composure when you smile at him.

It's cute to see him like this, reminding you of when you read his mind during the test. The first thing he did was imagine holding your hand. It's possible that his feelings have gotten stronger since then, because now he's struggling just to ask you out in his romantic fantasies.

He's still sitting on the table in front of you, and he takes your hand, pulling you up to your feet. His other hand cups your cheek, and guides your face down to him. Your lips press into his, and you melt into the kiss. He breaks the kiss, and looks into your eyes. "Let's take a rain check on dinner," he says, and his hands move to the bottom of your shirt. "What are you-" you start, but he lifts your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the side. He unclasps your bra and throws it somewhere as well, and he drinks in the sight of you. "Chan, we're in public. Someone might see us." "Good, let them. I want everyone to know these," he says, grabbing your tits, "are mine." With one hand on each breast, he massages them, and kisses you again. His thumb grazes over your nipples, and you moan into the kiss. You can feel him smile, and he pulls at your nipples while he gropes you. His hands travel down your stomach and to your waist. He's quick to unbutton your pants and pull them down. He massages your ass over your underwear, and his thigh parts your legs to rest itself under your cunt. You gasp, and he slips his tongue in, deepening the kiss. You roll your hips, rubbing your pussy on his muscular thigh. He grabs your waist to help guide you on him, and you continue grinding on his leg as the feeling in your pit starts to build. "Not so shy anymore, huh?" he teases. "You want everyone to see you humping my leg." You roll your hips against him faster, trying to feel as much as you can between multiple layers of fabric. He watches your breasts bounce as you buck against him, and he sits there mesmerized at how good you look when you're fucking yourself on him.

Your alarm goes off. You both jump in your seats. His daydream instantly vanishes as the noise brings you both back to reality. You scramble to shut it off.

"Sorry, I forgot I set that alarm." "Oh... Does that mean you're done?" he asks. He looks at you with sad puppy dog eyes.

'Shit. I was too busy being horny that I completely forgot to ask. Ugh.'

You decide that if you want to go out with him, you're going to have to ask him yourself. "Actually, I have something I wanted to ask you," you say, and he instantly perks up. Your feel your heart beating, and you hesitate for a moment. You know he'll say yes, but you still feel nervous all of a sudden. Asking someone out apparently doesn't get easier even if you have nothing to fear. Finally, you make yourself say the words.

"Do you want to go out sometime?" He pauses, and starts overthinking about what you could possibly mean. "Um... like you want to hang out? Like a friendly 'go out'?" "More like a date 'go out'."

"Oh... OH. Yes!" He coughs, trying to sound nonchalant. "Yeah, let's go out sometime."

He can't hold back the grin that forms on his face. "Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Really?" you say, feigning ignorance, "That's crazy. I didn't know you were interested in me."

"Yeah... I've liked you for a while," he says shyly, and his cheeks turn pink. God he's cute.

"In that case," you start, walking around to his side of the table and grabbing his hand, "there's something I want to do." You pull him up to his feet, and lead him to the bookshelves. You walk into an empty aisle near the back. "I really want to kiss you." His face turns bright red, and you can hear the thumping of his heartbeat. "O-ok," he stutters. He's completely different from the Casanova in his daydreams, but the juxtaposition is very endearing.

You cup his face and lean in for a kiss, and he kisses back softly. He doesn't know where to put his hands at first, but he rests them on your waist. Gently, you push him back against the bookshelves and press your body into him. He melts into the kiss, and his confidence grows enough to lower his hands to your ass.

For the first time, his thoughts are completely silent.

You're the first to break the kiss. "Do you want to go a bit further?" you ask. "Further...?" he asks, and when your hands leave his face to travel down to his hips, his eyes go wide. "What if someone walks in on us?"

"Then they'll know I'm all yours," you whisper. With the way you're pressed up against him, you can feel his erection forming. If his daydreams didn't convince you of his exhibitionism kink, this sure did.

He nods his head, and you lean back in for another kiss. You palm his crotch, and as you slowly stroke his bulge, you feel him harden under your touch. He grabs your hand, stopping it in its track. "What's wrong?" you ask. "Sorry, I just..." he hesitates for a moment, but continues, "I want to be the one touching you." You remember everything he's fantasized. That is what he likes. "Go ahead," you say. He turns you around so that your back is on his chest, and he brings his hand between your legs. He kisses your neck while he rubs you, and you lean your head back into him. His hand moves into your pants, and he feels the wet spot in your underwear. He moves it aside, and his fingers circle your clit. When he finds a spot that makes you twitch, he presses into it, rubbing it harder and faster until your body rocks into his hand. His other hand snakes under your shirt to grope your breast, and he plays with your nipple. He rubs it and pulls at it, earning a moan from you. The fingers on your clit stroke you faster, and you can hear how wet you are as he moves in and out of your folds. The sensations from your breast and your core has you bucking wildly on him, and your ass presses against his dick. He buries his face into your shoulder, dampening the moan he lets out. He grinds into you from behind, with no rhythm in his movements.

You can feel your orgasm building, and you can't control how you hump Chan's hand while he continues his brutal pace against your cunt. He works his fingers, caressing your folds and rubbing a sensitive spot. You writhe under his touch, and you know you're close. You feel the dam burst, and he continues to rub circles around your clit as you buck into his hand, riding out your high. His hand continues to hold your pussy as he humps your ass, feeling his own orgasm building. He moans, and his pace slows down as he finishes on you. You're both breathing heavily, and he takes his hand out of your pants.

You both lower yourselves to the ground in exhaustion, and you turn to face him. He leans back against the bookshelf. "You don't know how much I wanted to do that," he finally says, and you have to stop yourself from saying yes, you did know.

"Me too," you admit.

As much fun as it was peeping into his thoughts, the real thing felt way better.

"Do you... want to make plans for our date?" he asks. You completely forgot about that in the heat of the moment. "Maybe we should get cleaned up before we think about next time." "Oh, right. Do you want to come to my dorm to shower?" he asks, before adding "Just to get cleaned up! I didn't mean- unless you want to-"

"Yes," you say, answering his question before he overthinks and uninvites you. "I don't want to have to go home like this."

"Yeah, um, alright. Come with me."

You go back to the table to get your stuff, which thankfully is still there, and he leads you to his dorm.

You didn't end up studying, but you did end up with a boyfriend, and that's more important anyways.

Although he would argue otherwise.

EPILOGUE:

You're chilling in Chan's room while you wait for your final grades to show up on the school website. You check your phone, it's finally the time they said it would be posted. You both open the website.

"Yes!" he yells, "I got a 93%!"

You wait for the page to load, and when you see your mark, you breathe a sigh of relief.

You barely passed, with 1% over the failing grade, but a pass is a pass nonetheless. Your GPA fell significantly after you started dating Chan, but it worked out in the end.

He looks at your score.

'Wow, what a terrible grade.'

He looks back at you.

"Hey, you passed! Great job!" he says, and gives you a high five.

[angelgraphica]

THATORCHIA: c.beomgyu

that-or-key-uh

{the bitter acceptance of the knowledge that god will let you near but he won’t let you stay}

synopsis: an utterly obsessed fan catches beomgyu’s eye.

warnings!: smut, smut but with plot, disturbing (?) in a way??

wc: 8.4k

with packed schedules and constant traveling, he barely had any time to himself. it felt as if he was floating through the days, borderline dead. he could only thank the lord that his eye-bags weren’t so bad to the point where he couldn’t cover them up. eyes became duller, his skin breaking out in small sections. he needed a change after straight three months of practice, recording, and shows. it became a loop after a while.

everyone knew that idols being in relationships was taboo. it’s a controversial subject, a subject that beomgyu gets so surprised over whenever he sees his fans arguing with one-another debating whether a idol is dating a person— it scared him from being in a relationship at all. he hasn’t tried to pursue anything in almost a year too. sometimes he thinks back to his cringy high school crushes and girlfriends. to his first kisses, first promises to get married, his first everything. sometimes he misses the starry-eyed, obsessive devotion from a relationship.

the last relationship he had was when they debuted. it didn’t work cause of his ambition to his career, loss of time, not to mention the strict rule to not date anyone once you’re officially under the label. it ended with tears, his partner undoubtedly upset, yelling and apologizing— he knows all they wanted was time, and he wished he could’ve given that. but god, he was newly debuted with interviews filling up his schedules. it wouldn’t work if they tried, and he really did. devastating, yes. but he had ways to fill that void, the only times it really brought him down after the whole situation was when he put his head on his pillow to sleep. it was pretty messy.

of course he missed the love and affection from love; love itself was a beauty. hearts in such eyes and sweet nothings, passionate and undeserving. it’s what makes the world go ‘round. the yearn for affection is something that all people wish for. he loves his fans, it being reciprocated was probably the best thing he could ever dream for. being famous as much as he was, was something that people want so badly. don’t ever get him mixed up for ever being ungrateful for the position he was in.

only thing that was hindering him in such a moment, was that his libido was a curse to him. a damnation of something that was out of his control. he rebuked it all, he really did. a sin to everything he believed in, he felt damp and dirty inside. like a beautiful town-house in italy, rotting away with time, dust collecting on every abandoned surface.

at night when it would be dark and way past when he was supposed to be sleeping, his members next door with thin hotel walls that didn’t cover a thing, he’d be in fetal position with the freshly cleaned comforter bundled around him— eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched. a bead of sweat going down his pretty, graceful face. even after a long day of work, his energy depleted and used to the max, it’s like his body draws some from the deep depths of his soul. ashamed and bothered, he’d try and go to sleep with a painful stiffness that radiated throughout his body. dirty. that was the word to find reason in the situation.

he thought maybe it was his body was trying to find him ways to blow off steam. like an overworked engine: his stress levels too high, and sometimes even, though rarely, taking it out on the members. which he never failed to apologized for. yet his body felt exhausted, back muscles always tense and feeling like perishing whenever he would bend down. he knew lust was never the answer, which is why he was desperate for a change. he just really wanted a break.

at the end of the day, he chose this life— he knows what he signed up for. the stressful, yet beauty of the work were almost over and then he’d be able to relax with the people he held closest to. be able to lay in bed for however long he desired. living lavishly but knowing how hard he worked for it. thinking about it just felt rewarding.

but he has to focus on the now. it was either having a sleepless night or do something about it. his hands hesitantly trailing down the sleep shirt he wears, testing it almost. until he reaches the band of his shorts. too lazy to even bring them down, seeing how it felt wrapped around it. which always made his body twitch. having to stop a few times from his hand tensing up too much at the mere speed. the veins in his hands sticking out gripping with such neediness, pillow over his face to muffle whatever sounds he makes— until the pooled-up beads on his tip turn into ropes in his underwear. he’d finish off with a harsh grunt, his palm now covered in his secrete.

his hair now separating from the sweat accumulating on his face. panting, basically gasping for air almost from the lack of oxygen his pillow gave. he decided it was time to take yet another shower.

he wondered if his right hand became noticeably stronger after a certain point, and maybe it’d improve his stamina, funny enough. finding people to hook-up and stay with was a big problem. usually he doesn’t talk about sex with his friends, they talk about any other subject. more times than not, it’s yeonjun mostly talking about it, joking about his experiences: “she tied me up n’ shit!” naughty words coming out from a mouth who he’d least expect, but it brought a laugh out in him. a conversation was brought up with soobin. which ended up not being a very productive conversation, his answer was “i never have time, nor the energy to even do anything.”

he figured. soobin was a conserved guy, rarely making jokes about the subject. he also mentioned off-handedly that it wasn’t particularly a necessity for him. just something to indulge in once in a while, which beomgyu agreed with. he felt like a horn-ball of a teenage boy again. he was getting tired of the cold showers. and the last thing beomgyu wants is to be obsessed with sex. he doesn’t want to be like that, but jesus— he’s tired of having to deal with his.. problems. he didn’t want his body to be greedy for that kind of high, wanting every last drop of it like a man stranded in the middle of a desert.

maybe his brain is scrabbled and the chemicals in his body is messed up. he tried to reason with himself, hormones off balance cause he hasn’t been able to take care of himself in a hot minute. didn’t have much time to think about it anyways, and it’s such a unnecessary thing to be worrying about. he felt guilty about it, just the tiniest bit. a little touch-starved, is all.

only three times has he been able to have sex over the span of his five year career of being an idol. twice with the same girl, and once with an underground idol he met at a club. purple and red strobe lights, the smell of alcohol in the air and in their breaths. the bass of the music shaking of walls, and her dancing against him testing his limits— which didn’t take much. with too much disturbance in such a loud place, they took it outside. which led to them going for 2 hours in his car, blacked out tints that turned foggy not showing a thing. faces smushed and desperate pants against each others’ mouths. when he woke up the next morning, recalling the whole night vaguely, he knew what he did. and was it something that he liked to think back to, like a guilty pleasure. but it definitely cooled him off for a few weeks, jokes rolling off his tongue with ease. not messing up with choreography during practice, which he barely did in the first place. he felt smooth.

he knows a few idols that have their own sex partners, but contracts are a must if you wanna do that. beomgyu has morals and thinks a bit more highly of himself, as humble as he was. if he ever got to a point where he needed someone to sign an nda, he’d hope someone would knock some sense into him. thinking the whole situation would be embarrassing. he can feel himself wincing asking his legal team to help with such a thing.

he had a day off after an awards show, after confetti falling through the hot air and the crowds cheering for their favorites. he watched many groups that he’s been meaning to watch perform that night. champagne in his system, maybe a little sweaty but conversation came easy. a fun night indeed. but the night after was when everyone really felt the prostration and fatigue.

they were staying in a hotel. high-rise, big windows that overlook the bustling city, their own personal bathrooms, and a pretty big living space. a whole suite to each of them. compared to others he’s been in, this is considered luxurious. not that he’s usually given shitty hotels, but it was probably just because they were gonna have to stay in here for a while. and since all their business is around here which is not very close towards their dorms. they quickly made it feel like home though, the clean smell and fresh sheets were always rewarding after a long day.

after the event the group wasn’t able to get back to the hotel until three am, and as soon as beomgyu’s body hit the mattress—he slept for 12 hours straight. when he woke up, it was a bit disorienting. he didn’t know what time it was, his mouth terribly dry, and somehow very sweaty. he figured he got his well-needed sleep.

later in the day he got a little antsy. he needed a way to connect with society that didn’t involve his work. every time he went on his phone, he’d just see his group “tomorrow x together” and each time he did, he sighed. he doesn’t like to watch videos of his performances, unless he absolutely has to, because he ends up critiquing himself too much no matter how well he did. it was a habit that he needed to break. he rolls out of bed, looking in the mirror to see his state, and made his mind up: he needs to get out.

next door was kai’s room, lay-out similar but almost the same to his. kai had let him know that soobin and taehyun were gonna be in there, just incase he heard disturbances and wondered what was going on. kai was always considerate like that, which he appreciated. he figured yeonjun was resting, considering he barely saw him today other than when they ordered food. he makes a mental note to check on him later.

he walks in, taehyun on the floor scrolling on his phone while kai and soobin do the same laying on the mini couch sat up against the floor-to-ceiling window. from how everyones face looks somehow brighter than yesterday, he knows that he wasn’t the only one who slept well.

clearing his throat, he announced “i’m going to the convenience store.” no one but taehyun looking up from what they were doing. “you sure? it’s pretty late out.” beomgyu looks out the window to see that, it indeed is late. the sun’s absence is clear, a few stars twinkling bright yet they were the only ones that could be seen. it was probably due to the light pollution this city has.

“yeah. i’ll wear a hat and a mask. should be fine.” beomgyu says, running his hands through his hair. taehyun frowns. “i can come with you?” he offers, but beomgyu shuts it down. “no need. i’ll be back.” he finalizes, and leaves the door with a click of the door. he walks back to his hotel, quickly grabbing a black cap and a surgical mask. before leaving, he looks in the mirror— he was certain that no one could recognize him, after all he’s not even wearing makeup. just has a dark— maybe navy— blue sweatshirt that swallows his frame with some black wide leg sweatpants.

while walking towards the elevator, his eyebrows furrow at taehyun’s comment. “i can come with you?” he knows it means nothing, but he’s an adult and more-than capable to go to a convenience store that’s just across the street alone. he sighs, knowing he’s just been around them for too long, shaking his head subconsciously to try and shake off the slight annoyance.

once he makes it outside and out the front of the hotel, he feels the cool breeze of the night going through his mask. a nice reminder of the environment around him. the darkness enveloping the world, yet the city lights brighten up the place. he keeps his head down and joins the slight crowd of people waiting next to the cross-walk until the sign says the ‘ok’ to cross. he can slightly smell the making of foods that the wind brings from all the shops in the street, one that reminds him of what he had earlier today. he figured that one of the members must’ve gotten it around here.

it only makes him wonder what he’ll get from the store, a multitude of options popping up in his head as ideas.

like a light bulb went off on the top of his head, he pulls his phone out from his pocket, typing away at his phone; asking his members if they would like anything: “let me know if you want anything from the store” after he sends it, he stares at the screen for a second, seeing text bubbles pop up. it takes him a second before realizing the people around him are beginning to walk forward— his head looking up and seeing that the cross-walk sign did change, and quickly putting his phone back into his pocket to walk with them.

feeling the buzzes in his pocket, he knows he’ll have to get more than what he intended. the patters of people walking around him with the bustling of the streets feeling more therapeutic than he expected, he can’t help but let out a sigh in relief. pushing onto the top of the curb to finally make it to the other side, the convenience store sign now in view.

he looks around his surroundings, realizing it’s been a while since he’s been out like this. him and his members oftenly avoid going out like this, but it’s pretty peaceful. he has noticed that his members have some sort of paranoia going out in public alone. usually keeping it peaceful within his life and cooped up when he has the time off, bet-rotting has been the go-to. he doesn’t blame his members, being harassed by fans, if you’d wanna call them that, is something no one ever gets used to.

but being ‘free’ like this is nice. not like he isn’t free, but a change of scenery is needed sometimes. he makes a mental note to tell them how it feels.

there’s people littered around the city life. a variety of styles he’s seen, posing for pictures or probably about to go out with friends. he walks by restaurants with outdoor seating, people in deep conversations and just updating their peers on how life is— something that he usually takes for granted. life moves too fast for his liking, even if his days are filled with busy schedules.

don’t get him wrong, he loves his job, and his dearest fans. but he couldn’t help but feel a little envious. it’s been a while since he’d gone out with his members, remembering all the times they’ve drank to the point of stumbling— yet making a joke out of it the entire time. or even doing the most random stuff, like the time back at their dorms him and kai made a huge pillow fort in their living room. they went to bed that night just to wake up to it completely demolished, and no one fessed up to it. to this day, he still wonders who ended doing it.

he has to bite his lip behind his mask to stifle a laugh once he remembered something funny, sucking in breath to keep it together.

he pushes the glass door open after arriving, the automatic bell telling the workers that someone has came in ringing through the store. he begins to look at the signs above to see each designated isle, pulling his phone out from his pocket again to see what the members have asked him to buy.

spotting the candy isle, the last and far-back isle in the store. he read that soobin wanted something sweet. “preferably gummy, surprise me.” the last line of his text read. thankfully, he’s known him long enough to have an idea of what he’d like. he stops at the section, and leans down to see all the options. his hands grab some to read more closely. starbusts? no, not gummy. he puts it down and brings up another kind. he examines the gummy worms, thinking these will do but sees a different brand he’d probably like more.

while he’s in his thoughts, it’s slightly disrupted by footsteps behind him, and he whips his head around to see you.

white dress with delicate lacing, it almost knocked the wind out of him. tight in the places to show curves and the most beautiful parts of your body. he thought it a bit scandalous to wear out at night, cleavage showing and the shortness of it not leaving much to the imagination. your hair is done and lip-gloss shining in the white-light of the convenience store. he’s constantly around attractive people, he’s even acknowledged that. there was something about you though, nothing he’s ever seen before. your phone in hand, and you’re very much into it, your beautiful nails quietly clacking against the glass screen of your phone.

he doesn’t catch himself staring until you slowly turn around to lock eyes with him, your body turning with it slightly. his eyes dart to the phone in your hand, case clear and with his photo card in the back of it. painted on pink hearts around it, he couldn’t see anything else while your hand was holding it though. his head whips back to the shelf. you were a fan of his, and you just caught him staring. to all hell, checking you out like it was the candy in his palm. suddenly becoming very conscious of himself, he decides to just hurry and grab his stuff to leave quickly.

he looks back at the task at hand, shifting his feet closer towards the shelves of the candy trying to get as much distance between the person behind him and himself. beginning to reach out for the gummy-worms, he hears something that makes him stop what he’s doing and freeze.

“beomgyu?” you drawl out, breathily but unreadable. his head twitches, as if he was trying to resist moving his head towards the sound of his name. he hears quick steps to the side of him. suddenly, your face is in view in his peripheral, his neck moving to become face to face with yours. and his eyes meet with yours yet again, looking down at you. his blood runs cold.

“oh my god..” you breathe out, your hands coming up to your cheeks. the admiration twinkling in your eyes, whilst his stomach drops even more than before, how could you.. “oh my goooooD—“ you begin, rising in volume, but then a hand is clamped out your mouth. how could you even recognize it was him? he’s wearing a mask, not to mention even a hat to try and cover his eyes. which didn’t work, when you met them just a moment ago and now. his body moved by instinct, thoughts jumbled and adrenaline at an all time high. it takes him a second to realize that it was him putting his hand over your mouth.

“shh! im sorry! i..” he stutters, swallowing harshly. his eyes darting between yours, realizing how unprofessional this is right now. embarrassment creeping up his neck, trying to assess what’s happening while your eyes are shut close from the harshness of his grip. this could cost his job, everything, if he was ever seen handling a fan like this. but he feels like everything would go horribly wrong if he took his hand off, the last thing he needs is attention being grabbed. you screaming won’t help either.

you blink up at him, doe-eyed like. eyebrows furrowed a little, but the blush from your cheeks peek up above his hand— which is swallowing your face. he puts his lips into a thin line underneath his mask, trying to think of what to do. your sweet perfume invades his senses, thoughts becoming even more irrational and by the minute he’s turning more into a nervous wreck. “i.. i’m just a really big fan..” you say, muffled by his hand. once you say that though, it slowly drops from your face and onto your shoulder.

a sweet, almost sour looking smile on your face. like you were about to cry while smiling. like you’ve been waiting to experience this you’re whole life. it threw him for a loop, it was almost disturbing to look at. he sighs, wiping the sweat on his palms onto his sweatpants. looking everywhere but you, he speaks up faster than he anticipated. “look— i’m so sorry. completely out of line. uhm, we could take a picture together—“

his sentence was cut short by you giving him a tight embrace. one that makes him stumble a bit, but his foot catches his balance. your head tight against his chest, heart beat rising into overdrive, he was sure you could hear it with how crazy it was going as close-up against you were to him. his flight or fight instinct confusing so he stood still. completely still.

“beomgyu..” you drawl, in a hushed tone. “i’ve dreamt of this day. oh how i’ve wished.” you say against him, your breath a little crazy. he could hear the unhinged-esce tone of your voice.

he swallows, mouth gone dry and his arms against his side not reciprocating the hug at all. this was everything going on at once, the worst case scenario. “you are everything i’ve ever dreamed for. i mean,” you let go the littlest bit to look up at his face, after yours has been smushed against his chest the entire time. his eyes were squinting by the furrow of his eyebrows. he was sure he looked as disturbed he felt, but you laugh, softly and almost melodious. that crazy under-tone having him fighting off a chill.

it was like you didn’t care. you didn’t care about anything else but him. you looked up at him with such eyes, like he was your god. something that you’ve devoted so much to and worshipped. he wasn’t sure whether he was lucky or unlucky that these isles were located in a secluded part in the store, far back where the coolers were. “words can’t.. even explain. words could never.. ever explain how i feel about.. about you!” you get out with shaky breath. he could feel you trembling a little bit, but god he couldn’t look away from you. his eyes gravitating towards your love-sicken face.

your hands once wrapped around his torso, were now exploring it. an invasion, yes, but his body made no move to take your hands off him. he twitches, letting in a sharp inhale. while you gasp softly, but audibly. “i love, love, love you. i love you so much my heart hurts.” you mumble out, your eyes darting all over him. hands going to the front of his chest, he was still frozen. he should’ve pushed you off him, called you out for your insanity, and ran back to the hotel. maybe even alert the cashier— anything. anything else would be the right answer.

but. that didn’t feel right. nothing about this was righteous or good.

“yeah..” he drawls out, coming out weirdly monotonous. his chest rising, he could feel himself getting hot underneath the mask. it was like his body felt numb, his nerves too on fire to even process anything. hell, this has never happened to him. standing in shock, worse than any stage fright he’s ever had. he hated that all he could feel right now was you against him, how disturbed and confused he was but was getting hotter by the second. his body getting stiffer but a certain part even more than the rest.

this couldn’t be happening. this can’t be happening. god, please. not right now. he began to pray to whoever was listening in his head, feeling sweat bead up on his forehead, the underneaths of his arms even worse. “i’ll do anything for you.” you say, adoration and obsession dripping at the sound of your voice. he could’ve sworn he almost missed everything you were saying with how loud his heart was pumping in his ears, ‘sometimes he misses the starry-eyed, obsessive devotion from a relationship.’

obsessive. god were you an obsessive, creep, nuisance of a fan who knew no boundaries. starry-eyed and devoted. willing to give up anything for your number one favorite. yet something called for him, like someone flicked a switch on. mental barriers collapsing, turning into something that he’s never been before. like a wolf underneath a full moon. howling out into the night sky. something that gave his self-respect away, and every good bone in his body. something that made him ask you: “are you alone?” mouth saying stuff before his brain could even process it. which you shook your head ‘no’ vigorously at.

“no, of course no.” you say quickly, before uttering “it’s just me and you.” your face serious with curiousity lacing your features, now and searching his face— or what you could see from it.

he swallows again, dry mouth not getting any better. like he was on autopilot, he began speaking again. he was testing the limits of this situation; like they were any in the first place. “if you were to come with me,” he drags, only aware of how low and barely so with the husk in his voice, throat vibrating throughout his body, “would you promise me not to tell a single soul?” he looked back at you seriously this time, eyes switching between how your breasts were pressed against him so sinfully and how glossy your lips were. he wondered if you knew his intentions. if you could make yourself useful.

like the angel and the devil were on his shoulder telling him what to do, he was completely deaf in the ear where the angel was. rather, speaking with his dick than with his common sense. this was wrong. too wrong. so wrong, to the point where he’s about to use this gorgeous, too-pretty-for-her-own-good, willing and totally infatuated fan who showed up at the worst time for his foolish desires. it was risky, immoral, and nothing he should even think about doing.

never would he have ever thought to get to a point of desperation like this, but when you say “i’d keep anything to the grave with me if you ever wanted me to.” his body get even hotter than before, his dick harder than it’s ever been before. forget what he believes in, the immoralness of the whole thing was only adding fuel to his raging fire.

he grabs your wrist and looks around the store for a bathroom, thankfully, or maybe not-so thankfully, there was one right by the both of you. with strides that he felt you were stumbling with, he enters the family bathroom with you in it.

surprisingly clean, it’s obvious no one comes in here. he locks the door, hoping, just slightly. that no one just saw you both enter. it doesn’t take him long to get you pressed against him and the wall, holding you up by the thighs and desperately rubbing the aching hardness in his pants against you— which he was sure you could feel so clearly through the soft plush of his sweatpants. your tiny little dress, riding up to where he can see the soft cotton of your panties and the outline of you stuck to it. he grunts and you let out pretty little noises that are like music to his ears. “please. i wanna see you. no mask, please?” you beg, like it’s your one and only wish in life.

he does so with no hesitation, unhooking it behind his ears and sliding off his hat— throwing it somewhere behind him. your hands come up to his face, gentler than how you were before. pushing his hair out of his face, way different from when you were holding onto him like he’d get away. you held his face it’s a piece of art that you don’t want to accidentally break. which only makes him grind into your frame harder, slow to release the tension and has you holding onto his shoulders for support with grip.

you connect your lips with his, uncoordinated at first and filled with neediness and want. it turns sloppy, your lips tasting sweet like cherry. his hands now gripping the plush of your hips, sure that it’ll leave bruises, with your hands traveling up to his hair. pulling in a way that releases the tension in his body, like a refresh. to his body, and his brain— god did it refresh his brain, because he stopped. completely stopped doing anything.

“this..” he begins, his lungs a little out of breath from the rough kissing, he could feel your breath on his lips. “this isn’t right.” he says, gently putting you down on the floor, his pants still feeling bothersome. everything came crashing down on him all at once, like he came to his senses. what a disgusting, ungraceful being he felt.

your face contorted into worry. “what? no, no! come on..” you take his hand. “you already kissed me. why would you back out now?” your tone accusatory. which you were right, he was already foot-deep into this. his other hand comes up to his hair, his nose scrunching when he slightly pulls on it. “we both know this isn’t right. come on. i’m..” he stutters again, his face flushed and the proximity was making him sick.

“i’m sorry for dragging you in like this— this isn’t right. at all.” he says, backing away, his hand reaching to unlock the door. which you quickly stop. “beomgyu” you whine out, which makes him clench his jaw in agony. “let me take care of you.” you say, careful with your words. it was obvious you wanted this, from how you reacted this, you wanted it so badly. “i’ll be gentle?”

you walk up to him, almost timidly until his back is against the door of the bathroom. you stare at his face, while he stares back— his eyebrow slightly raised to see what you’ll do next. your hands reach up to his shoulders, massaging them one time to assure him, before they travel down. your nails, digging comfortably through his sweatshirt, and the farther you travel your hands down, the more your knees drop. until they’ve reached the tiled floor.

the entire time, you stay looking up at him with your pretty eyes, that he felt so much guilt for. he swallows, continuing to watch you. deciding, although hesitantly just based on his morals, to let you do what you wanna do. your hands stay at the sides of his hips, until one guides towards the huge tent between his legs. which he hisses to once you palm him.

you smile once you hear him, pressing your hand against him, running it down between your fingers. you do it again, earning another hiss, this time you go down with you nails which rewards you a grunt. you lean in, your lips no longer having the gloss from before, kissing his inner thighs and around the area— you weren’t lying about being gentle. until you finally get to the problem itself, leaving a long smooth to it. you feel him twitch through the thick linen and against your lips.

you begin to mouth at the area, occasionally nuzzling your cheeks against it. all he could to was stand there and watch the eye-catching performing right below him, his vision sometimes wandering but he could never not seem to stay focused on you. you were entrancing, taking in the noises that you loved to hear oh-so much. your eyes closing whenever your face was needily pressed against him, blinking up to him every once in a while. fuck did he love it with his whole being.

the slight pull to his pants begins, until they drop to his knees. you stare lovingly at what’s in front of you, swallowing down the salivation in your mouth. doesn’t take you long to pull down the last layer, but it felt painstakingly so. until the hot and hard shaft of his sprang up— pre-cum evident at his pinkish-brown tip. you lick your lips, “god you’re big. always knew you were.” you coo, kissing the lip to taste test his cum. which sent burning shocks up his body, he whips his head up from the sensation. adam’s apple bobbing. he was so hyper-sensitive.

“and you taste good.” you add on. before sending deep and suctioned kisses from the base and all the way up back to where you started. which only made him shiver. “can you take me in? fully?” he half-whispered. voice a little pained like he’s holding back, but submission at the tone of it. and you answer his question with a lick of his swollen tip, which he only grunts to. his head rolls back to beneath him, seeing you cutely kitten-lick all around him. you tap him against your tongue, the noises filling the family bathroom. he bites his lips to hold back a moan.

you start out slow, lips greedily around the tip of him. sucking off any of his secretions that he had on him, before working your way down ever-so slightly down. your head bobbing back and forth, transcending deeper into your throat. until you reach the base, feeling him twitch in your mouth while you gag and he curses in pleasure. you spit, your saliva dripping from your lips and onto your hand, and pump it a few times before you grip the base and begin working on him.

he was never one for head, but this was way different than what he remembered. you greedily take him in, feeling your throat flutter around him, but don’t take any time to continue going up and down. occasionally, he lets out some winces and some praise. it’s slow, and full of love. he loved this, as guilty as he felt.

slurping sounds and gags, obsence sounds echo. it’s not long until he feels himself about to release, and he taps the top of your head— before letting his hand rest of the top of it. gripping it with force that makes you feel euphoric. “shit.” he lets out with heavy breaths. “i’m..” swallowing, “i’m gonna cum soon.”

you go a little faster, keeping it repetitive and he can’t help but feel blissful. “i’m gonna, fuck fuck fuck—“ he lets out, twitching even more, legs shaking and thighs tensing. you can feel it, god he’s gonna let it out. so so close, he’s so close—

then you release from him, panting audibly with spit on your chin. all feeling being ripped away from him violently, head still dizzy. it takes him a bit to realize what has happened, and all you do is look up at him, a smile slowly creeping onto your lips. he looks back. confused, bothered, and stupidly horny. “you..” he begins. did you really just edge him from his own orgasm? “come on, it can’t be wasted just yet?” you say, head tilting at him so innocently. which only makes him sigh out a bigger breath, “you’re evil.” he says, running his hands through his hair to try and level himself.

you only laugh at that. which in return he groans, his hand switching from his hair to down his face. “get up.” he says, and you oblige. immediately standing to your feet, eyes still locked on him. still panting, he runs through your hair. your head leaning towards his gentle touch, goosebumps rising on your skin. “mmm,” you hum out, clearly enjoying it. “rewarding me after such an evil thing..” you say, laughing a little bit. “didn’t know you liked that, but—“

he grabs a fistful, it doesn’t hurt particulary but it’s rough. and he smashes your face into the door, you yelping a little bit. hands up on the door as if you tried bracing yourself, but it was a quick and fast movement. happening in just a blink of an eye. you continue to giggle, cheek smushed up against the thick door as he swiftly gets behind you, putting his hand on your lower back to make you arch.

“think everythings’ just a game, huh?” he says, taunting as he lets go of your hair and pulls your dress up to your back. ass fulling in view and your panties thoroughly soaked, he drinks up the art in-front of him with his eyes. caressing the soft plush of your ass before landing a loud smack that makes you gasp. he massages the area to soothe the stinging feeling he just inflicted. now the one smiling and making a joke out of you. “look at that,” he says, smacking again, harder this time and soothing it once more. “switching up now?” he taunts, and you pout as best you could with your face being pressed up, whine’s slipping through your pretty lips.

“well,” you breathe out, before he lands another smack. which you hiccup air to and twitch against him. “i could— say the same for you.” the irony of this situation, you can’t help the smile that shows your canines. he ticks his tongue, not liking the attitude that you’re suddenly having. he’ll make you pay for ripping away his own orgasm— even if he did love it.

his hands travel down to the band of your panties, toying with them. a solid color, navy with delicate stitching. he loops his index finger between your skin and the cloth, ripping your panties down violently. a string of slick comes with it, your pussy now revealed to the cool air glistening and yearning for attention. he’s gotta blink a few times to see what he’s looking at, your thighs rubbing together in embarrassment. “fuck, why don’t you look at that..” he coos, examining like it’s a piece of beautiful art.

bringing his middle finger to caress the warm, stickiness between your folds. you jerk, letting out a noise so pornographic that he has to do something about it now.

he doesn’t wait a second to line himself up with you, jerking himself off with whatever slick and saliva was left on him. he laughs out, “c’mon, you can take it.” chest rising up and down, pumping a few more times before smacking his tip against your hip. “tell me—“ he cuts himself off once he begins his descent into you, and you welcomely swallow his tip, you wincing and whining. squirming underneath him, he loved this view. “tell me you can take it.” he says harshly, slowly entering you inch by inch.

“ah— i can take it” you whine out, the stretch too much to the point of pleasure. intense shocks coarse through both of your bodies, he swallows deeply and harshly. it doesn’t take him long for him to bottom out, length completely taken in, warm and slick around him. it takes him a lot of control to not just bust right now. “that’s what i like to hear.” he whispers against your back, hands now gripped on your hips, before he starts to rock into you.

unlike this entire experience, he takes it slow, feeling every flutter around him and the twitching of his own. you’re noisy, voice filled with praise and encouragement to “keep going!” he’s been able to feel his heart in his ears this entire time, but it quiets down to focus on what noises you make with the different angles he hits. until he hears one sounds that he really likes, and he begins speeding up— unfathomably fast, slapping sounds and your body jiggling erotically.

“i fuckin’ love you so much—“ you moan out, door beginning to shake with the mere force of him going in and out of you. he grunts in return. “yeah? you do? tell me— about it.” he says back, holding back his own noises to utter out that sentence. you can’t seem to get actual words out, but the only sentence he does hear is that: “i’ve masturbated to you so so many times— it’s crazy.” which only makes him go a bit faster. the door now rattling and he’s certain that anyone inside the store can hear them, but he doesn’t care— he only cares at the task at hand.

it’s rough, almost passionate, while being beautiful at the same time. oddly enough, there was something so poetic about this. your hands gripping onto the flat surface of the wooden door, roaming and trying to find anything to hold onto— which there was nothing. he takes one of his hands away from your hips and grab both of your hands to secure behind your back. getting a better feel to use you like his own pleasure toy, he continues to ram into you desperately. sweet moans coming out of him now.

doesn’t take long for him to start feeling that coiling feeling, and he can tell you are as well, with the way you’re gripping the life out of him. “shit— gonna cum, can i come in you baby? could i please do that?” he says quickly, not faltering with his pace at all, and he gets a “yes!” as an answer, lip deep into his lip and his face screwed up. he’s close to the finish line.

you make it before him, whines turning to a stop as if the breath was knocked out of you, squeezing around him like it’s the last thing in your life, and he feels himself releasing into you— thick hot ropes that seemed to never end. this was the most he’s ever came, ever, in his entire life. his orgasm lasting for ten seconds, and now he’s slumped on your back. both of you panting, him hoping the light doesn’t get him with how oxygen-deprived he’s been.

it takes a bit for him to pull out of you, coming out with a lewd pop and his cum dripping out of your used hole. it begins to slide down onto your inner thighs. he stares at it for a while, as if post-nut clarity hits him— he realizes that he should’ve never done this.

the life-consuming guilt hits him quickly. his release in you, god what if you’re pregnant? he didn’t even ask you if you were on the pill, or anything. he did everything too fast, stupidly and without a second thought. this isn’t good at all, not at all. he takes a step back, still looking at you with your ass up in the air. his hands run through his hair again, thick and now almost wet from his sweat.

he reaches down and quickly pulls up his pants, suddenly remembering the things that he has to get for his members and— jesus he’s in a lot of shit right now. he situates himself as you’re still trying to collect yourself. you look so unbelievably fucked-out right now, it makes his cock twitch once more. you fall to the floor, sitting next to the door and looking up at the florescent-lit ceiling. sweat beads down your face, the bathroom mirror now foggy from the mere temperature change in the small space. he puts his hat and mask back on, looking at you with such disgust. not at you particularly, maybe because you pursued him, but mostly with himself. with a die-hard fan, what was he thinking?

your eyes travel back to his face, eyebrows furrowed noticing that he’s all dressed. you open your mouth to talk, but he beats you to it and the only thing he can get out is “i’ve gotta go.” and he doesn’t waste a second to grab onto the bathroom-door handle and leave, shutting the door behind him and abandoning you there. on the bathroom floor, full of him and barely dressed. he refuses to look back, and makes it a point to not look at the cashier as he’s walking out, sure that their face is laced with disappointment. once he leaves the store, he lets a large exhale. he speeds walk down the street, past all the restaurants that he gave thought to. he can’t think about anything else but what he’s just done.

he paranoidly looks behind him, to see if you’re following him at all, and checks his pockets to see if he’s missing anything. which he isn’t thankfully. the walk isn’t long, but it sure as hell felt too long. if this were to ever get out, it would be the end of his career and his members. that’s all they would be known for. he thinks back to all the groups who had a single member that did something absolutely diabolical, and their name being ruined because of it. he’s built so much, for each other and for himself— basically doing that was throwing it all away.

he doesn’t even wait for the crosswalk to say that it’s okay to go, simply looking both ways to see if there’s cars coming, which there weren’t, and running across it. the cool breeze that was once calming to him only cooling him down from the sweat he’s covered in. he hates this feeling, it’s a panick-y and dreadful feeling. he doesn’t know if he ever felt like dying from shame more than right now.

while he walks into the hotel lobby, he relives the whole thing in his head. start to finish, and remembers thinking to himself that this wasn’t right and he needed to stop now. so why did he continue doing it? was he just so desperate for pussy that all the thoughts in his head became incoherent? it doesn’t take him long to get to the hall that him and his members shared, he silently hopes no one comes out of their rooms while he’s trying to get to his. feet fast against the ground, trying to be quiet but the mere pace was like he was stomping.

but like god was against him that night, yeonjun comes out of the room in front of him.

he curses to himself, avoiding eye-contact as much as possible. he tries to speed-walk past him, but a hand catches his shoulder to stop him. “hey, hey, hey dude—“ yeonjun says, voice a bit frantic and confused on why his friend trying to get to his room so quickly. beomgyu stops abruptly and slowly turns around, hesitantly and scared to see his reaction, and his eyes meets yeonjun. which is only laced with worry.

“did something happen when you were out there?” yeonjun asks, eyes wandering his frame and looking behind him. beomgyu’s at a loss for words, truly. there’s no way in hell he could tell his members, or anyone for that matter. “jesus you’re sweaty, and you smell.” he continues, face scrunching and looking at him weirdly. still, beomgyu cannot get a word out and can only bring his eyes to the floor.

he didn’t even think about the way he smelled, he probably smells heavily like your perfume and sex. yeoman goes quiet, grip loosening, and asking a very loud question: “who the fuck did you have sex with?!” his heart sinks, head whipping up to meet his eyes.

“god, no yeonjun—“ he says, eyebrows furrowed and he’s stuttering. “it’s not like that.” he finishes, and yeonjun looks at him accusingly. “dude, you smell like pussy and sex. and also—“ he sniffs one more time, which beomgyu takes a few steps back from and shoos him away. “who’s perfume is that?” he asks, loudly again. he feels so bad, and so embarrassed. most of all shameful. he could only pray that no members heard him saying that, but knowing these thin walls, they most likely did.

he turns around and continues his journey to go back to his room. he fumbles putting his keycard in his door to open it, but once it beeps with conformation that it’s now unlocked, he doesn’t waste a second to get in there.

once his hotel door is closed shut, his breath is wild. he takes his mask and hat off right away to try and level himself— but he can’t. he fucked up big time, so big time it’s unfixable. he’s quick to start running a shower to try and get this stench off of him, hyperconscious of everything. this whole thing is nothing but his fault.

he used you, left you, and god he doesn’t even know your name. all for his own pleasures. he kept telling himself that it wasn’t right at all, he’s still angry at himself for ignoring all those thoughts for some heat-of-the-moment sex with a fan. a fan out of all people. he can’t help but lay his head against the tiled wall, staring at nothing with the water running down his body. he tries to wash off what’s left of you. but even as he’s in bed, he still feels guilt and dirty.

he doesn’t sleep that night. another sleepless night but for different reasons this time, and he hopes his members don’t ask. and he dreads the next morning, as he tries to pretend that he’s falling asleep so that no members bother him.

[sulumuns-dootah]

Can I please request a whb king's reaction to actress/actor mc but this time mc is in a dramatically sweet or cringy romance movie as the main lead? With the ending being the main couple having a child time skip cuz like why not (asmo's breeding kink...)

WHB kings w/ a romance movie actor reader

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

As much as Satan tries to enjoy the movie, it's not exactly his cup of tea

It will be kinda hard for him to stay focused, but will try his hardest

If there's some drama and maybe fighting that ends with a kiss, he's immediately into it

Also, he hates to admit it, but he's jealous of your co-star

So to somehow keep himself entertained, he'll look for ways to trashtalk them and the things they say

(Pointing out that it's just a script they're reading is useless)

       ༺☆༻

I also don't see Mammon as romance movie enjoyer, but he doesn't hate them either

There are a few romance movies you can get him to enjoy and yours is one of them

Mammon is especially interested in the part where the main couple moves into their dream house

He can't help but wonder what would be your dream home

And don't get me started on the wedding ring

The one that he'll get you, should you want one, will be way bigger and better than whatever that tiny stone was in the movie

       ༺☆༻

Cheesy romance movies are Leviathan's secret guilty pleasure

Sure, he will watch your movie and even like it, but won't tell you he did

His envy gets triggered every time there's a scene between the main couple wiht them touching or kissing

Sure, it's just one kiss on screen, but how many rehearsals and failed shots were there before you nailed it? He doesn't even want to try to guess

If he sees your co-star anywhere around you again, he can't be responsible for his actions

       ༺☆༻

Watching movies with Beel is fun for the same reason it's frustrating to show him the movie you starred in

He'll watch the movie whole, but focus on the exactly wrong thing

It's always something random too

I imagine Beel's the type to make '(a scene)but it just zooms in on random items' movie edits

Will point out background mistakes like missing flowerpots or extras changing clothes mid-scene

Only when it's solely you, centered in the shot, he'll finally pay attention to your character

       ༺☆༻

Belphie tries really hard to stay awake, he really does

But to him unless it's anime, it's kinda boring

Where's the superpowers? the cursed beings? the jojo stands?

If there's Beleth with you in the room, it's to Belphie's benefit

Belphie'll be awake as you're settling in to watch the movie and by the time you stop checking in on him, he'll be out

And then all that Beleth needs to do, is nudge him awake before you start asking for his opinion

       ༺☆༻

Asmo loves cheesy romance movies!

They remind him of his past lover and some of them even have sex scenes

And sometimes you can even cach him on the verge of crying once the big movie climax happens :)

So now that you're playing in one, he's found the one he'll keep rewatching over and over

Ooh, but if there's a sex scene in your movie, the mood drastically changes

Screw the movie... Asmo suddenly feels like rewriting the movie and showing you exactly what he'd do differently (you already know where this goes)

And the movie time skip to children is absolutely one of his favorite parts

Too bad he can't actually make you pregnant bc of his past lover's curse bc he would absolutely love to have a mini army of mini you's running around Hell

       ༺☆༻

If you ask, Lucifer would tell you that he doesn't have a movie preference, but romace movies are one of them

Generally, any movie that he can watch with the rest of the Paradise Lost demons without them arguing over it is a good one

Lucifer loves learning about the human experience so any realistic movie is a nice way of him to find out more

As you show him your movie, he'll watch it carefully and remember from it way more than even you could

The final scene with the main couple and their kids makes him smile

Similarly to Asmo, he can't help but wonder what it would be like to have a mini halfling that looks like the two of you combined, running around

[archives-of-a-hidden-writer]

Little Thing

Diluc X Reader

》Typing... |

》 [Entry No.019 - Little Thing]|

》 Loading Archive Entry "Little Thing" |

》 Location of Entry: Archivial's |

》 Tip: Feel free to support the Archiver |

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》Notice: Cataloged Entry, Part: (I) II

》 Summary: Being your favorite character, you decided to buy yourself a cute chibi version of him. However, things may not be as normal as you may think. "I wish you were here." |

》 Warnings: Self-aware au? hurt/comfort, small part of reader crying over Diluc being only in game, might be cringy because self-indulgent. |

》 Archive Entry Loaded ◇

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Over the past few months, you've found yourself liking the game Genshin Impact, an RPG all about adventuring and trying to find any way to find your character's sibling again.

While playing this game, a specific red head had caught your attention to the point that he immediately became your favorite. Giggling and squeeling over him as if he'd just given you a large compliment when all he did was talk. No matter what it was he was speaking about, it'd turn you all giggly like a schoolgirl whose crush just texted back.

Over time, you got him and even got him to a reasonable constellation level alongside being crowned in some of his skills.

You've just become that attached, and it wasn't long until you found yourself buying your first item relating to him, a small Diluc plushie.

It was fairly cheap, but it still is good quality, and thanks to this bought piece, you now often have him close to you, wherever you are.

■■■

"Diluc! Oh my god, there he is!" Your voice echoed through the land just as Diluc entered the scene, all with his stoic, resting bitch face look.

However, while you speak about Diluc and all, little did you know that he was listening. Not on purpose, but your voice echoed through his mind.

When he first heard of your voice, he thought he was going insane, until he listened further into your words.

He was your favorite, favorite in this game that is his world, his nation that he protects through the shadows.

Even though the voice would only occur on certain times, specifically around the newcomer, the traveller. Why does he feel the need to be come closer? What's so good about you that he often hears you praise him?

It wasn't common as well when he hears you speaking of the burden and trauma he has been shouldered with ever since the death of his father.

How did you know of that? Is it something regular outside of his 'world'?

This led to him becoming even more curious of you, and comfortable? Why does he feel comfortable around you? Your voice?

He wonders now is how long this comradery would continue.

■■■

Soft sobs emitted from your room, cries echoing from there and into the game, into Diluc's mind.

Meanwhile, Diluc slept in his winery before suddenly being brought to you through his dream.

In his dream, he saw you. Yet, unlike how he hears you during his talks along with the traveller, he now sees you crying.

Hunched over your desk, you sobbed, holding the small plushie version of him in your hands.

Since when did you have a small stuff version of him? But that's beside the point, why are you crying? Yet he could only watch as you cry your heart out.

■■■

Everything was so much, every brick of burdens, work, etc. Has been piling on top of you, drowning you, and you could only do so much.

So when the dam breaks, you couldn't take it anymore and just cried your heart out while holding your Diluc plushie. Staring at the small little thing before bringing it to your face.

"Getting attached to someone isn't real, huh? Real good one, self..." you muttered to yourself, trying to make a laugh out of yourself, not realising the same man is watching your through his dream.

There was a good silence, while you stared at the plushie more before letting out a sigh and one more broken cry.

"Gods, I really wish you were here sometimes..." You uttered out before slowly letting exhaustion from your crying take you over, the small plushie falling from your hands and rolling beside you on the desk.

■■■

Diluc suddenly woke up from the dream, breaking a small sweat. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. You were that attached to him. Well, he is your favorite.

Yet, as he lay back down onto the bed below, he couldn't stop thinking about it. You found comfort in him despite not even being physically there apart from the plushie in your hands.

So, as he lay, he wonders... What can he do to someone he couldn't even reach either? One that has the same predicament as him, unable to physically reach?

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

》 Archiver's Notes: Cringy Self-Indulgent as an former genshin player who's account holds a double-crowned and C4 Diluc who has been my main ever since I got him during my first few weeks in Genshin (I started playing during November 2020) and yes, this entry will be a series.

[fisherobsessedmyb]

pretty pigtails|Sal fisher X GN!reader

🔹Ship🔹Sal Fisher X GN! Reader🔹

🔹Trope🔹possibly counts as miscommunication but not sure🔹

🔹Category🔹fluff🔹

🔹Summary:Sal gets the wrong idea about why you don't ever touch his pigtails, you reassure him his worries were not the case at all🔹

🔹A/n: this is my first fic in about 4 years I'm just getting back in2 it, be gentle lol it's lowkey ass😭

Constructive criticism is welcome, unneeded hate is not. Enjoy<3🔹

🔹Sal never thought much about his pigtails, he liked them. That's all that mattered in his opinion. Though he did sometimes wonder if you preferred his hair down, considering you'd never touch his hair as much as you did when it was down. He tried to not dwell on that though, it wasn't a big deal🔹

🔹"It's not a big deal" is what sal repeated to himself in his mind as he laid on his bed next to you as you immediately tangled your warm hand through his blue locks as soon as the hair ties were now discarded on the bed.

"your hairs so pretty, sally" you told him, smiling warmly as you always did when touching his hair.. When it was down.

"o-oh uhm.. Thanks, y/nn" sals voice was hesitant, a bit nervous. Usually your compliments were enough to turn his ears red and his smile wide, but right now his anxiety towards your perception of him was in the way of that.

"do they think I look bad with my pigtails?" is all that he could wonder.

It wasn't hard to pick up on his difference in demeanor, having been used to sals usual flustered reaction to compliments, such a more.. Nervous reaction was a bit of a surprise as you asked softly, your hand still gently tangled in his hair, softly playing with a few strands between your fingers

"is everything okay?"Sal felt his nerves grow as did the pit in his stomach, he gently takes your hand from his hair and holds it as he looks away

"do you.. Only like my hair like this? Y-you uhh.. Y'know without my pigtails?"

Sal's nerves only grew with the silence that had after his words, though just as he was going to stutter out another anxious sentence, your soft voice filled the silence as you gently cup his head with your hands, his hair tangled between your fingers.

"no, sally. Of course not.. You have such pretty pigtails, i love them!" your genuine response rang through sals ears as it eases the pit in his stomach.

He looks at you through his mask as he asks quietly"r-really? Youre uhh.. Youre sure? Because you- uhm.. You never wanna touch them. Y-you never wanna touch my hair when it's up" his nerves are still present, obvious in his tone.

Though.. They continue to lesson as you gently lean closer saying softly with your usual kind smile and a light giggle mixed through it

"babe I don't touch it because I don't wanna mess it up! I think you have the prettiest pigtails ever, they suit you so well! I promise"

Sal's face flushed red all the way to the tips of his ears as he let out a small breathless laugh.

"really?" he wasn't completely convinced.. Until you gently leaned in further, pressing a small kiss on the lips of his prosthetic before whispering to him

"really."

Sal definitely liked his pigtails and you absolutely did, too.<3🔹

🔹A/n:was fighting 4 my fuckin life editin this on mobile lmao T-T hope u enjoy, i tried my best. Still getting the hang a it again<3 also hello! Im sry 4 disappearin. :( due 2 personal reasons its hard 2 post regularly. But i hope this very cringy but sweet draft i made months ago makes up 4 it slightly. Enjoy<3 n as of rn im not actively acceptin anymore reqs. If u send one i will read it but most likely not work on it for a good while. Im plannin 2 clear out past reqs which have been collectin dust in my inbox tho. Have a good day y'all<3🔹

[rc-catalog]

At long last, we finally commence the Creator of the Month event! Without further ado, we present to you a short interview with @webanglikethat, March COTM winner, from which you can get to know her better. Congratulations JB!

Enjoy!

INTRODUCE YOURSELF

hi everyone!! I’m really exicited to be the first creator to be represented 🥺 you may call me JB and I’m 19 years old! I go by she/him pronouns and I’m a desi italian 🫶🏽

WHEN DID YOU JOIN ROMANCE CLUB?

2022-11-04, which I could’ve never guessed! I thought I’d started playing mid 2023. according to my gallery, my first stories were chasing you and heaven’s secret! the fandom I joined way later, and that’s how I never understood why sometimes my choices were ‘free’ aka Diamond Rush – I thought I bypassed something 😭 seeing the reddit fandom explained a lot haha ! 

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CREATING?

for the RC fandom specifically, I started creating in May 2024 when I made a Ram edit! before that, I was mostly posting about RC on my Instagram stories and editing them, sharing my thoughts, and occasionally ranting about the characters. I actually had another Tumblr account before this one, but it was focused on different fandoms. at some point, I stumbled across the RC Tumblr community, and at first, I just lurked, reading posts and getting a feel for the fandom. I loved seeing everyone’s discussions, edits, and writing, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to jump in just yet. eventually, though, I decided I wanted to be part of it, so I made this account for two reasons: first, to fully immerse myself back into Tumblr (aka I forgot the password to the OG account lmao / but I did remember it!), and second, to actually engage with the RC fandom rather than just observing from the sidelines.

in general, probably since I was 11-12 for the kpop fandom, which I’m still actively doing !! my passion for creating just keeps evolving and it’s crazy how the things I started with have led me to where I am now !! I’m always pushing myself to try new things and level up my skills and the way I express myself has definitely evolved over the years. I started off with small edits, and random posts, and over time, I got more confident in sharing my work. I’ve written a bunch of poems, edited a lot of stories/videos and I’ve picked up moodboards and graphic design again! the RC fandom has been such a fun and welcoming space, and I love being able to contribute to it (✿◠‿◠)

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST EVER CREATION?

for the rc fandom? it was a ram video edit (insert link) but if we are saying in general, it was probably one of those kpop profile pictures with heart crowns lmao! I was 11 or 12, experimenting with filters and thinking I was so cool — looking back at it now, it’s cringy, but it was the start of everything. and who says cringe can’t be good? normalize being cringe !! normalize growth !! those little edits sparked something that I’ve carried with me ever since! after that, I started making moodboard edits for kpop artists and umh, here I shall expose myself just for you guys lmaoo. these are the first few “'edits”’ I found from my archived posts (no, I never finished teen wolf …) (yes, I still make seunghyun content).

CHOOSE 3-5 OF YOUR FAVOURITE WORKS AND RAMBLE AWAY!

there’s a lot of creations that I’m thinking of! one of the hardest was probably the two part web weave I made of cainlane for a friend at the time, but it’s definitely not my fave

my jayniecarter web weave is a really important creation for me. I don’t remember exactly when I got the idea, but even within the first five episodes of 7B, Jaynie’s storyline hit me hard; her role as the oldest and only daughter that everyone relied on and how everyone just expected her to push away all of her plans to be there to fix the problems caused by everyone else. there was something so raw and so real about her struggles and the way she carried so much weight on her shoulders, often without acknowledgment that it made me really pause. it was supposed to be a funny little story but it turned into so much more. I found myself deeply relating to her — her imposter syndrome, her sense of responsibility, and that feeling of being stretched too thin while trying to be everything for everyone. some chapters were genuinely difficult to read because they felt so personal, almost like I was looking into a mirror. at first, I wasn’t sure how to process those feelings. it’s one thing to read something that resonates with you, but another to actually put those emotions into words. that’s when I started thinking about the best way to express it, and I landed on making a web weave. I’ve always loved the way web weaves allow for layered storytelling — how they can bring together different pieces of media, emotions, and themes into something cohesive. it felt like the perfect medium to explore Jaynie’s journey, not just as a character, but as an experience that so many people can relate to. I started by gathering all my screenshots — Carter scenes, moments where Jaynie’s imposter syndrome was on full display, her struggling with the expectations placed on her, and the way she felt like her first year of college wasn’t turning out the way it was “supposed” to and that the experience had been robbed from her. from there, I began thinking about songs and other pieces of media that resonated with those emotions. I wanted to find lyrics that captured that overwhelming pressure of being the person others depend on, that deep-rooted insecurity of feeling like you’re never quite doing enough, even when you are. the process was honestly a mix of research and instinct—some songs immediately came to mind because they just fit, while others took time to find. I also pulled quotes from books, movies, and shows that carried similar themes of responsibility, burnout, and the complicated emotions that come with being an eldest daughter. one of the best song to describe Jaynie and Carter imo is ESOEMOEHOED by Leanna Firestone, so that was the first thing I did, along with 'this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift. some of the photos included are actually taken by me! there is a quote by a book I really like, 'Final Offer’ that made it into the final draft “You always deserved better than me.” / “No. I deserved better from you.” aside from the angst, I also wanted to portray the amazing love a sister has for her brother, so I looked through my pinterest board and found comments people, mostly sisters, left on how they loved their siblings, how they felt like they didn’t exist until they arrived. while Jaynie and Carter’s journey is undoubtedly hard and complex, that doesn’t erase the love, and that was something I wanted to make sure wasn’t lost. one little detail I really liked was, when choosing Hansel and Gretel photos, they were always holding hands! and isn’t that siblinghood? holding hands through all of the shit the world puts you through? the certainty of that warm hold? honestly, putting the web weave together was both fun and unexpectedly emotional. it was therapeutic in a way I didn’t expect and I’m glad it also resonated with the ones who saw it!

My Nova and religious guilty web weave: this one was something I planned almost from the start! I started playing wt:c for my friend andy’s birthday so she could finally talk to me about it. the obvious religious guilt / religious trauma topic stood out to me and I began gathering screenshots as I played. as a girlie who can relate to those kinds of feeling, I was sooo excited to edit this !! from the start, I knew I wanted to turn this into a web weave. I started reading articles, researching people’s thoughts on reddit / quora / any website of that sort, trying to gather their feelings. one of the best sources was an article that began with

'Let me ask you this — have you ever felt like faith was supposed to be a comfort, but instead, it turned into a burden?’,

written by Gary L Ellis. I read that and thought, damn I struck the goldmine! I’m heading in the right direction! honestly, this one was easier to edit because I already had a lot of photos of this topic saved from my previous luke castellan web weaves and some genshin screenshots (the wanderer’s iconic line of 'the first to betray me was a god, my creator … my mother’). it was also easier because I had been gathering screenshots as I played instead of thinking about it later. that saved a lot of time. another line that really fit perfectly was

“I was raised Catholic,” he began. “But you’re not now?” the judge asked, frowning. “No,” he said. He had worked for years to keep the apology out of his voice when he said this.”

and that made me even more excited because everything was fitting together so well !! another obvious source was going to be, 'Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve’ by Taylor Swift, a song about grooming and religious guilt which ugh, Nova would SOOO relate to. overall, I believe this took me less than a week to edit! maybe 3-4 days? I was so excited that I stayed up late editing, and I’m honestly really proud of it. I’d love to make a part two in the future!

my jaynie-ray web weave: it’s been a long time coming – is how I would describe this one. I made it for the catalog’s 14 days of love event and I knew I wanted to choose these two for the platonic prompt. their relationship is so important to me 🥺 their bond is not just a promise of 'I’ll be there’, it’s a certainty. it’s something so much deeper, that it’s impossible to unravel. my main source for this one was my favourite book, 'Happy Place’ by none other than my mother Emily Henry! if you like crying and found family, give it a read ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ what really stuck with me, while reading about Ray, was the way Ray’s story doesn’t just expose the pain of being kicked out but also highlights the power of acceptance!! I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant to me. so many stories about queer trauma focus solely on the suffering, and while that’s important, 7B goes beyond that. it doesn’t just show the pain of rejection but it shows the love that comes after. the way Ray finds a new family, a new support system, people who actually love and accept them, is so important. because yes, being rejected by your family is devastating. but what makes it bearable is finding the people who choose you. I wanted to make their relationship justice and hopefully I did <3 I once again used photos I took myself (the quote from the seven husbands of evelyn hugo) and honestly, this one was so easy because I can relate to their friendship as I’ve found it in my best friend Kelly, and I already have like hundreds of photos/quotes/media pieces saved on friendship and found family! honestly teared up a few times making this.

my audrey-deviya web weave: I could not answer this interview without mentioning my wife deviya, could I? this one is recent, so you’d think I remember how or why I made this but honestly, my memory is really bad! I think I screenshotted a few things while playing the old abh update and I was like, wait, that’s sacrificial lamb coded! and who is THE original one? deviya. I knew in that moment I wanted to connect their journeys, to depict their roles as both a weapon and a shield, as a human but also a tool. there were many similarities. – one of the most painful ones was I noticed how both of them die/almost die feeling like they hadn’t lived enough. there’s this lingering sense of unfinishedness, this deep grief over the life they weren’t allowed to have. it’s heartbreaking. their stories reinforce the idea that their blood is almost worth more than their existence, that they need to bleed in order to be important. this was a little harder to edit because I had to go through abh walkthroughs on youtube because I had never screenshotted her dialogues from this point of view! my friend vee was kind enough to send me a few screenshots she had, which saved me so much time !! and they were SO helpful too, I could build a whole edit out of them alone. aside from gathering screenshots, I had no issues because sacrificial lamb is part of yet another pinterest board I have. I hope I did Audrey justice! I’m not an ABH girlie, my focus is on KFS, so hopefully I got her character well !!

now that I mentioned sacrifice and blood, I HAVE to talk about Amala. so I have two versions of my Amala web weave; purple and red. this one I made because I was joking in a discord server about how I was going to make a web weave if my friend Mira (@a-cloud-for-dreams) wasn’t gonna stop sending sad Amala screenshots. we were all joking around until I was like, well … eldest daughter angst? and every other desi girlie in the discord server was like WELL YES ! so I immediately started editing cause when you get a bunch of girls asking you to do something, you do it (follow for more life advices).

I felt a lot of pressure making this one because it had been a while since I played KCD and I had never closely looked at Amala’s character. Mira was able to give me 99% of the screenshots included in my post and, while I struggled with Amala’s character, I didn’t struggle with her characterization – does that make sense? she’s the eldest daughter who takes care of everyone, who puts her own needs aside and is struggling between her indian and english side (something that sooo many immigrant children, me included, can relate to). from there, it was easy to gather photos because again, I have a bunch of pinterest boards on topic of being the older sister, the third parent and the immigrant guilt! I had the most fun editing the last photo !!!

I’m very shy about my writing so I purposefully decided to highlight my webweaves 😭 but here are some of my fanfictions: -> if you wanted avery to be a love interest, I got a fic for you ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury is one of my proudest works. it was hard to get Avery’s voice right because he has very little screentime (I screenshotted every scene in which he spoke) and at some point I gave up, so if you find it OOC just close your eyes lmaoo. -> did you want Vyxaria to talk to Walter about Xantheia? do you cry to peace by taylor swift? don’t look further then! Lonely winter, cradle my heart explores angsty Vyxaria -> do you instead want to break your heart by having unrequited!Walter and brokenhearted!Vyxaria x Xantheia? Thalassophile, do you remember our crestfallen hearts? awaits you ! for more, look at my masterlist!

[bloodchapell]

castle of sand — senku i. 2: bliss of ignorance

brief summary: the bridge that connects both blissful ignorance and dispairful knowledge, where do you stand? where does senku stand?

what to expect: confusing ahh words

your sword's note: all past and future parts + playlist of this series available on my mistresslist

"The tormented are aware of the bliss of ignorance, for once they become tormented they have lost the capability to ignore and are burdened with the everlasting persistance of knowing what they used to know not."

You had said that once during class. One of your most insightful remarks. It was a debate about morals and ethics, and as always you reigned the field with your words.

"But is there really such a joyful bliss worth at the cost of ignorance?" You continued your thought "Though the brightest amongst the ignorant are aware of their stance, they choose to not cross the bridge. Some cross it willingly, some are thrown across it, some simply stare at the bridge, some don't know there is a bridge. Often times, those who feign disinterest about whether there is a bridge or not, are just stuck in the middle, not precisely on either end."

Senku didn't participate much in that debate, except for throwing random statistics that were 10B% accurate of course. Oddly enough, your words felt like an attack. Logically, there was no attack, no real reason for him to feel targeted at your vague and metaphorical words, but he felt attacked, specially by that last part.

Initially he wanted to ask you for what you meant. What he usually found confusing was that your words were saying something using other things to illustrate the "feeling". For example, there was no bridge, that was for sure, so it was up to the interpretation of a listener to decide what it was you meant by bridge, he assumed it to be that connection between the land of blissful ignorance and the land of despair and knowledge.

"That is why I hate analogies, if what you were saying was true, there could not possibly be a bridge between both worlds, they would probably be a step away." Senku muttered seating on the floor of your bedroom.

"What...?" You frowned confused.

There was no special space miracle on the sky that day. He simply needed to find an excuse to argue with you —which he hated and avoided—, because though he knew it made no sense, he still felt attacked, so he knocked on your door at noon and pitifully you let him in.

"Your bridge theory." He complains about it.

"That is not a theory, it's how it feels." You remark and he groans "The bridge is the start of the despair, I do recognize I lacked mentioning that."

"Explain it to me like I am seven." He asks.

"You still have the emotional spirituality of a child, go figure." You say, no intention of offense. "Luckily for you, you are yet to know the darkness, but I can summarize it for you. There are all sorts of interactions we have in life that become forever stored in our minds. Through sheer observance of the workings of the world, we come to realize and learn many things. Correct?"

"Yeah."

The darkness. You often talked about it, as if it was personalized entity, as if it was a physical location, somewhere beyond the damned bridge. Senku always found it cringy, after all he preferred to find it cringy than to recognize the depth of your association with that darkness.

"You only pay attention to that which you are interested in, ideally. Sometimes you are forced to look elsewhere to make sense of certain interactions, certain events that have a negative impact on your mind, and it is through that particular observance that you get to know the dark truths of life, you become aware of things you were not aware of before, you become aware of both the pain and the reasoning behind it; why it impacted you the way it did, why it happened, what led to it happening..."

It made sene, compared to science at least. The same basis. You wished to learn and understand, the only difference was that he was interested in knowing how a lightbulb and a spacecraft worked while you were more worried about understanding your own pains. His frown softened, it had been a long time since he had stopped to think about the nature behind your wordery.

As uncomfortable as it was, Senku digested that he felt attacked by your words because he was aware, maybe not in the same degree as you (absorbed by the void and hopeless, to his words), but he had already stepped on the bridge, maybe it was sheer curiosity, he hadn't any major trauma or canon event that would have thrown him across the bridge violently, but he was still there, and he did not like it. Senku knew that he was not a machine, as much as he would like to abandon the sentimentality, he remained human and therefore remained feeling, as much as he ignored his emotions when they tried surfacing and as much as he tried to explain his feelings using logic and science.

Once stuck in stone and uncertainty, he remembered it at some point, "you are yet to know the darkness" your words. Being alone with his thoughts and feelings that he ought to override with logic all his life, standing in the middle of the bridge unable to ever go back to the blissful ignorance, he felt that inevitably all those seconds he had counted started pushing him to move forward in the bridge step by step.

[nyuoqi]

            — PLEASE DON'T HIT (ON) ME!     ౨ৎ     PGW

O25.    cringy asses

✸ SYNOPSIS !  : in which you have your fair share of embarrassing moments. one of it being punching a guy's nose for a plushie (which you did not get at the end). but what will you do when he ended up going to the same class as you. wait, oh no! he recognised you. now you're in for one hell of a ride.

(read my a/n to find out what i've been up to lately!)

𓍼  previous  |  masterlist  |  next  𓂅 

author notes 🐰ྀི HIIIIIIII ^__^ so here's a lengthy a/n to fill u in about what i've been up to throughout my long hiatus!

i developed a crush and its a SERIOUS one. hes sooooo dreamy and perfect and is ngl the main reason why i've been offline lol. he is the top student and is also the student president of our school so hes GOOD good. not to mention that hes really kind a respectful towards women too 🥹

oh andddd he helps me with add maths bcs i'm unfortunately not as smart as him 😔 we are also in the same afterschool club where he's the president of the club whereas i am the vice president! cant wait for our upcoming interactions ngl 🤭

2. i've been studying a lot! this one is also related to my crush bcs as i mentioned, hes a top student and he also teaches me sometimes which leads to me wanting to study hard bcs for some reason whenever i think of him, i feel like studying (💀)

3. i've been trying to be more offline! i'm still active on my socials but i only use them for communications. for the rest, ive been trying to be as offline as possible. i even deleted my games and all. but worry not! i'm trying to make a comeback here bcs i love my silly little readers sm 🫶

lastly i just wanna say that there will be bonus chapters for this so pls stay tuned!

TAGLIST : @nanadreamies @run2min @dwcljh @leehanascent @pwrcelanii @320flora @chaeryvips @rikimylove @wonik1ss @marshwatz @shotaroswifeyily @jayujus @replayenthusiast @yyfka @girlokarina @sionshiii @sparklingsjy @annoyingbitch83 @sillybabycat @junnysbae @07yujin @istphanie @2ynjns @kaynunu @egoistars @bloobworld @xiaoquanquans @heartswonn @infinitehaos @ffixtionista @gunw69k @rai51db @nanasdream @alltimebnds @luv4ryu @darlingz99 @tlnyjoong @chweverni @llearlert @stryroses @xiurmy-everything @luvvvash @lampcults (send an ask or reply to this post to be added!)

[moriwood]

One More Shot — l.hs

lee heeseung x male reader angst (heavy?) 1k words

Your best friend Heeseung bursts into your apartment with soju after breaking up with his nth girlfriend of the year. A few bottles later, the true meaning of your relationship with him is put into question.

includes: drinking and crying, bros being homos(?), cringy dramatic lines warning: toxic relationships, blood and violence? (very very minor, like 2 sentences max)

“Get in,” you sigh, beckoning your best friend Heeseung into your apartment. In his hands were heavy plastic bags, one full of liquor and the other snacks. He trudges past you, dropping himself and his items on your couch before staring at you wistfully.

“She broke up with me,” he hesitates, “said I had someone else in my mind or something, whatever excuse that was.”

You lean against the doorframe. “Well, do you?”

Heeseung scrunches his face in disgust. “No, dude. I suck at relationships but I don’t cheat.”

You take the bags from him and set the bottles of Yakult and soju on your coffee table. “The Yakult’s for you, wimp,” Heeseung weakly smiles.

“What’s up then?” you mumble, opening two bottles of soju. Heeseung immediately grabs a bottle and chugs it down.

“That bad?” you ask. “Three weeks of that girl got you that bad?”

Heeseung laughs.

“Exactly, dude! Three weeks, fucking three weeks. I can’t make these relationships last.”

You wish you knew. Heeseung has practically thrown himself to any woman who showed him interest for the past year, and a delusional version of you would love to link this phenomenon to something that you said a year ago.

It’s not like Heeseung is a bad guy, he really isn’t. He’s a romanticist, he likes bouquets of flowers, the arm around the shoulder, the subtle kisses to the nape… A part of you wishes you could’ve been one of the dozen women instead, but you knew where your place was.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Heeseung,” you chuckle, “it’s not like I’ve dated anyone yet.”

You grab yourself a bottle of soju, taking a glance at the pack of Yakult to the side. Maybe not tonight. You could drink soju by itself anyway, you think.

“No Yakult? ‘Lil bro trying to man up?”

You shrug. Heeseung stares at you oddly before grabbing another bottle to drink. The two of you sit in silence, trading snacks in between sips of soju. You’ve always been satisfied with this ritual of yours with him, just the warmth between the two of you equating to a hundred unspoken sentences. Yet, this one feels different. The television’s off, no video games are being played, and there is an invisible wall dividing you from leaning on him. Heeseung is on edge, distant, as if holding back. 

As you both drink the silence away, you slowly slip into a different space of inebriation.

“Sometimes, I wonder,” Heeseung seems to think over the next words in his mind, “why you’re still friends with me.”

So that’s what he really wanted to talk about.

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully. You really don’t know.

“All these women come and go but you’re still here.”

“They were girlfriends. I’m your best friend,” you reason, hoping that it’s enough to cut the conversation off without delving into something else.

“But you liked me, didn’t you?”

Maybe Heeseung is actually not that good of a person. Perhaps, you’ve just gotten used to him, standing right there beside him, a fallback for when things go awry. A convenience store receipt crumples beneath your feet, reminding you that you sent him money for your drinks and snacks tonight.

“We don’t have to talk about that anymore, Heeseung,” you warn him, “it was a year ago.”

“It still hasn’t changed though, right?”

You open another bottle of soju for yourself but Heeseung only snatches it away. He chugs it all down again, before standing and clasping his clammy hands on your shoulders. He was pinning you down to your couch.

“Answer me.”

You close your eyes and breathe deeply. “What do you want me to say, Heeseung?”

“You know, she always felt off whenever you were with me. You hovered around us, clinging onto me like some fucking lost kid. God, I swear you’ve made this year so miserable for me.”

You’re trembling. Your room starts to stink of liquor as Heeseung continues to breathe down on you.

“Are you trying to blame me for you being a shitty boyfriend?” you whisper as you stare directly into his rage-filled eyes. Then you shove his hands away, standing up to meet his height.

“You shouldn't have said anything. You should’ve just kept it all to yourself. Now, my mind's all messed up. I don't know how to approach you, I don't know how to approach all of this bullshit!”

“I told you I'd understand if you wanted to end the friendship, Heeseung! I’m not the one who crawled back here weeks later pretending nothing happened,” you exasperate, accidentally knocking a bottle off the floor with your foot, causing it to shatter and spill over your wooden floor.

Heeseung attempts to pull you away from the shards but you push his hand away. He insists, shoving you to a dry side of your couch. He pins you again but now he rests his head on your shoulder.

“Fuck, it’s all coming out wrong,” Heeseung says under his breath, speech slightly slurred with drunkenness. The sleeve of your shirt gets wet as Heeseung begins to sob.

“I should’ve given you the chance,” he finally says. “I shouldn’t have rejected you back then.”

Your hands find their way to Heeseung’s back, attempting to soothe him as he slowly embraces you tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeats between hiccups. “It was so hard for me to admit it but I think I like you too.”

The thought has been prodding at the back of your head since that moment from a year ago, that there must be a reason why Heeseung chose to remain friends with you despite your confession. There must be a reason why there became a palpable tension between the two of you each time you met since then. You’re giddy with the feeling of your repressed feelings finally being reciprocated, and the liquor in your system only rouses you further.

“I’m not too late, am I?”

You feel pain spike up your leg, noticing a slit on your foot bleeding, mixing with the spilled soju. Let the brain run later as the heart decides to beat what it wants. 

“No, you’re not, Heeseung, you’re not. You’re right on time.”  

author's note: this is my first fic! very new to this platform (in terms of posting) so please be gentle if it sucks jk. feels like i could flesh this out more ngl aioksaozkasd i decided to start posting cuz of my friend hehet~ now somebody please tell me what to do next 💀 (sorry for rambling)

— moriwood.

[purpledaisiesthings]

FINALLY!!!!

Freaking finally....The wait is almost over until Ginny & Georgia season 3 airs, after over 2 years....ridiculous.

This show can be so cringy at times, but I still love it lol 😄.

As a shipper that detests love triangles, this show is probably the only show that makes me root for the different relationships within the love triangles.

Before I watched the show, I had a whole picture of what Ginny & Georgia was going to be about, but I was completely wrong. It presents itself as a small town comfort show, but it's filled with imperfect/damaged characters with love triangles who are sometimes criminals??? Lol 😄

I liked the idea of Ginny and Hunter in season 1, but seriously, her and Marcus was a whole lot more interesting. That's not even up for debate for me. Yes, there was technically a love triangle for Ginny, but I only saw it with Marcus.

Now Georgia, that's where all my attention was in regards to this whole love triangle shenanigans (more of a love square though lol). Georgia is such an interesting and complicated character. She really is my favorite. I'm so invested in her as an individual, a mother and her love stories. As much as I hate love triangles, I cannot believe I'm actually rooting for each of them. They individually bring out something different in Georgia and represent something different to her. Zion is her past, Paul is her present and Joe might be her future.

They all know her in different ways and they would all be wonderful choices as endgames, but of course I do have a favorite....I'm only human Lol 😄🤷🏾‍♀️

Her Past - I feel like Zion is home to her, her first love. They've known each other the longest and pretty much know each others' flaws. They might not like it, but they accept it because they cannot let go of each other. They are stuck together for life. I feel like he knows what she is capable of even though it's not been expressly said. She will always love him. Her penguin, her soulmate. The love of her life. But as much as I love them together, I feel like their storyline might be headed towards them finally being able to move on from each other. Their relationship has been toxic as f*ck from the start. They met as kids when they were both "running away" from something. She from her family and him from the responsibilities his parents imposed on him for his future. No wonder they were always running in some way and never got satisfied with settling. They always gravitate towards each other in the end but because of how toxic they both are, they run. They might be the same people in different fonts. Zion just masks his toxicity better. Now that they are adults, I don't know if they are able to rebuild a solid relationship out of all that hurt and trauma they've shared together. But it'll be a very interesting reconciliation storyline if that happens.

Her Present - Paul is her dream. She's always had a picture of who she wanted to be and what she wanted for her life and for her children. Paul represents it. He will give her that life, that security, that dream. She loves him in a different way and is willing to allow him into who she is....But not fully. She will never fully be able to bare her whole self to him. With the way season 2 ended, I'm not sure her relationship with Paul will survive. As much as he loves her, he also loves his career, and both will clash. Also, because I know they teased a Joe ship for a reason, there's no way they'll happen with her still married to Paul. It's just a process of elimination Lol 😆

Her Future - Now Joe, he is her safe place. Her fresh start. From the moment they met as kids, he brought her hope, and he brought her solace when she needed it. Then, the moment she felt she was finally at the stage in her life to provide a good life for her children, the moment she started feeling hopeful again about her future, she moved to Willsbury. The same town she knows Joe lived in. She ran towards him. Her hope, her fresh start. I really want to see how a relationship with Joe will be. I'm curious. Again, I believe he represents her fresh start at a new kind of love without the toxicity or secrets or the hurt she's had to experience all her life. At first, I wasn't sure if he was what she wanted. Georgia is not a normal character. She's got some serious issues, and they are very real issues that can't be swept under the rug to accommodate a "fresh start." I didn't know if "sweet Joe" would be able to embrace all of her at first. He pretty much just plays along to whatever she says, like a doormat sometimes. But as I continued watching, I think he could be exactly what she wants and needs. He's the only one so far who has had a standalone flashback that's not tied to Georgia. Zion's flashbacks always involved Georgia. In Joe's flashback, we got to know a little bit about his character and the fact that as a kid, he had the potential for crime. Before this, I wondered who he was as a character other than being a shop owner and how he could possibly fit into her chaotic problematic life. That short flashback showed the potential of him being able to accept all of her (both good and bad), which I feel Zion might struggle with a little at first, and most definitely Paul will never accept. I think that flashback was very intentional by the writers. Personally, I think there is potential for a beautiful slow burn with them.

I think her endgame will be Joe, but I'm definitely team Zion. Sorry, I like what I like😄. However, I would be completely fine with any of the options as her endgame.

That being said, I'm really looking forward to the new season.

[war-in-time]

It's insane that you can't criticise this book when honestly? Haymitch being a cocky get who gets humbled in the worst way possible for making a crucial mistake would be a much more impactful story imo.

The problem I have with sotr is that we know absolutely nothing about his family. He barely talks about them and they weren't mentioned in the epilogue. THAT screams lazy. Especially because he was on good terms with oh idk the woman who RAISED HIM??and him losing his family was such an important part to his character.

If you criticise this book, you're called "immature.", "falling for Capitol propaganda," "Too old for Suzanne Collins." (what)

I personally am in the YA age group (14) and I still have all of these issues and was let down. It's like people think that kids can't call out bad writing or have opinions on books.

You are actually exactly the perspective I was hoping to get, someone who is the target audience for this book. I’ve never been part of the target audience for a single book in this series, the first Hunger Games book came out when I was 8, bosas came out when I was 20, and now sotr has come out while I’m 25. Since the original books are a bit older I was wondering if Collins would write this one with an older audience in mind, letting the work grow with the fanbase. She did not and it sounds like it isn’t even believable for YA readers.

I’ll tell you right now first hand: there is no such thing as being too young or too old for any book. It’s kind of like how you can still watch old Disney movies as an adult and notice new things you didn’t as a kid but still enjoy the movie regardless. Books are much the same way, I was able to read the Hunger Games when I was younger and enjoy it. I’ve reread it as an adult and yes still enjoyed it, but also picked up on things I hadn’t realized the first time around. One of the things I noticed on my recent reread is that the book is very obviously written from a 16 year old girls pov, which isn’t a bad thing and it’s a clear indication of how she thinks, but as an adult it does feel cringy at points (just a part of aging I guess).

All of that being said, yes let’s talk about Haymitch’s mom and brother. We are told very early from the start of sotr that Haymitch is relatively close with Sid, and he sometimes helps out his mom, but outside of that I truly don’t know anything about them. We spend so little time with his family it’s actually very hard to believe that they’re close despite being told repeatedly that they’re close, and he doesn’t once think about them while he’s in the arena. Haymitch’s thoughts are far more often on Lenore than his own little brother who doesn’t even understand the games, Sid is 8 and very clearly confused when Haymitch gets reaped.

As a side note: was there really any true reason to change the reaping? It was to add conflict sure but would it not have been just traumatizing enough for Haymitch to think he was safe and had a nice meal waiting for him back home just to be picked? It gives poor conflict creation and the entire scene of him saving~ Lenore from a peacekeeper came out very muddled and actually confusing to read.

I talked about age a good fair bit earlier because I wanted to relate it to all of their deaths. Haymitch by all intents and purposes should be a lot more upset about his families deaths than Lenore’s. He has every reason to be upset by her death immediately after it happens, but there is nothing that can convince me anyone would hold on to their childhood romance for more then 25 years. I had my own high school romance at 17 and I promise you the ‘love’ you feel at 16 is very shallow. Sotr reads like a high school romance, there is nothing organic or deep about it and it’s not even remotely comparable to what we can believe exists between Katniss and Peeta.

Let’s be real, what Katniss had with Peeta was a trauma bond that developed into actually caring about him. The guy I dated in high school never crossed my mind past the age of 20. You know what has hung over my head for 23 years though? My father almost dying when I was a child and I remember him on his death bed. I was 2 and every now and again I’ll just remember out of nowhere that I could have grown up without my father, and it’s terrifying. It’s why Katniss blowing up after Prim’s death makes sense, why her mom went into a deep depression when her husband died, family ties are all so much stronger than a fleeting romance.

Haymitch reacts to his families deaths instantly in the moment when it happens, but for the next 25+ years he somehow only thinks about Lenore? It’s not only bad writing it’s also unrealistic. No adult in his 40’s should be pining over a childhood crush. Haymitch never needed to find love after the war was over, but he did need peace and that was one thing Collins refused to give him in his own book. It actually made me think of him as pathetic for holding onto her so fiercely but his family was less than an afterthought.

I knew from the second that Lenore was mentioned having geese in sotr that the only semblance of peace Haymitch had in the original epilogue would get torn away from him and I was right. Instead of Haymitch making the decision to have something to take care of and nurture (because this man would be too scarred from mentoring kids to their deaths to ever settle down and have a baby) his geese get turned into another reminded of his very long dead ex.

Would it have been so hard to just write that maybe his mother raised geese and that was why Haymitch got them? Because they were familiar and he wanted to hold onto the woman that raised him by raising something of his own? I guess it was because we got a scientifically wrong analogy about geese mating for life: they don’t. Geese only stay mated so long as they’re both alive, if one dies the other will find a new mate within the same breeding season.

I would advise you to save your energy when it comes to people online. Actually especially people online. You can usually have a descent and relatively civil argument about a topic in person because there is no anonymity to hide behind so people actually have to watch their words, but online? They’ll switch to personal insults instead of actually focusing on the topic of argument. You said people have called you too old for the books (ironic since you’re the actual age group meant for these), falling for the capital propaganda, and immature., those are all personal insults because they can’t find any in text citations to dispute what you are criticizing. It’s childish and it’s also one of the first things I learned in my degree: you can throw around any words that you want but without proof you’re just shouting into the wind. An argument needs to be objectively built on facts, otherwise it’s an opinion. You can have any opinion that you want about anything, but it won’t make that thing true.

[reiiaokii]

love in transit

gleek baddies pt 1.

╰ megan skiendiel ᡣ𐭩 @ meganskiendiel & @ thechinesegingr

╰ lowkey popular, but it's not for a good reason… has a 'playgirl' reputation because she was MESSYY back in highschool, was always seen flirting with another girl while dating one. begs sophia and manon to hook her up with yn's number and they both refuse because they don't want yn getting 'hurt,' especially sophia. has a 'playgirl' reputation but is literally the sweetest girl ever when it comes to spoiling her woman with gifts and affection. chronically OFFLINE. got into uni with an athletic scholarship for playing varsity volleyball back in highschool, because otherwise, she'd be working at your local mcdonald's.

╰ sophia laforteza ᡣ𐭩 @ sophialaforteza & @ profjolibeeater

╰ doesn't really know or care about what she's doing, but when it comes to her friends, she fulls on interrogates them until she knows what their doing is somewhat safe if yk what i mean. she'll tell the others to set a good example for yoonchae meanwhile she's out partying and drinking away like there's no tomorrow. shuts down megan's delusions about yn for her own amusement, but also because she genuinely doesn't want yn getting 'played.' in her free time, she WILLINGLY teaches megan how to cook filipino food because she's always begging to learn for yn to hopefully impress her. also teaches megan cringy pick up lines in tagalog but also slips in some freaky ass shit in there as well just to troll but tells her the real meaning right after. let's the girls cheat off her notes but only if they have a REALLY, really good reason.

╰ yoonchae jeung ᡣ𐭩 @ y0on_cha3 & @ queenevercry

╰ slowly getting brainrotted due to megan's fully developed brainrot vocabulary, and also lara's. maxes out sophia's card on smiski's, sonny angels, you name it to be honest. chronically OFFLINE literally half the time, and even when she is, she will only speak one word then go right for the 'log out' button. babied by everyone and actually tweaks out when someone does, though that's literally every breathing second. only enjoys getting babied when she gets to use it to her advantage by changing someone's mind about a certain something. works front counter shifts at the campus café with sophia from time to time because sophia's always getting complaints from students for trolling too much. although, yoonchae's not any better. always blasting some loud ass, upbeat kpop shit at seven in the morning as the café's music.

╰ daniela avanzini ᡣ𐭩 @ daniela_avnzini & @ daniwani

╰ an absolute MENACE, both on and off campus. loves trolling the groupchat by making up some fake exaggerated shit that makes the girls go crazy, once she tells them it's a joke they all gang up on her. ( excluding baby yoonchip. ) will troll yoonchae alone sometimes by connecting to the café's speakers and playing some freaky ass shit from lara or manon's playlist. NOT, an academic weapon. has literally ripped up her notes for her midterms mid-crashout then almost failed but got saved by sophia. ( cheated off her notes. what reason did she have? no reason, just bribed sophia by giving her money to buy broadway play tickets. )

masterlist ᡣ𐭩 next

NOTES | i figured i should js say this now so i dont have to say this EVERY single time, girl i am not made for revising nor editing. so yes, i did not revise or edit this. and yes, i will continue to not to 🥰

TAGLIST | @meizinisnumberone @hiraizyo @arihiu @artrizzler19 @1luvkarina @sunshinez4 @kristalag @fruityg0rl @meiphobic @meganskiendielsbtc @gtfoiydlyj @yazzyminny @vrtualstar ( closed .ᐟ )