#it rarely happens but i'm genuinely happy to watch this show

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode two

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

i'm going to preface this by saying i'm contradicting myself a lot in what you're going to read next but that's because i'm writing my comments as i watch the episode. so, when the show explains something that seems nonsensical at first, i'm going back on my words ^^'

the title of this episode (coincidence v fate) is intriguing. I think ki ho is one of the two brothers. I don't know which one yet but I really hope it's not woo-hak because his actions are in contradiction to what he's done when a teenager.

He wants to be a reporter but he chooses to publish mok ha's story when his brother, bo geol, rightfully told him not to do so because it'll attract public attention and mok ha is trying to adjust to the world after being alone for 15 YEARS.

From what i've seen, bo geol is more probably ki ho because he's more considerate towards her and seems to respect boundaries. He's also more polite and kind.

I'm sorry but kang woo hak can not be ki ho. I don't think he'd have changed that much in 15 years. I think that, even though ki ho changed his identity and pretended to be someone else, he'd still have that gentleness and compassion in himself. Which is why i'm leaning more towards be geol being ki ho. It makes more sense to me.

Or maybe ki ho will appear further down the line? I don't know.

Yeah i'm sure ki ho is not woo hak. There can't be any explanation that would change my mind. If he does end up being ki ho, I will riot! That's for sure.

They're planting the seed that woo hak is ki ho by the recurring "and then?". It's a nice detail, but i'm still iffy about him being ki ho.

This episode has left me confused more than anything.

I hope we'll see more mok ha & bo geol interactions so there is more suspense.

Just thought about it but woo hak being very close with his father could be another indicator that he's ki ho. He's never had a bond with his biological father so he wants to do that with his "new father".

On the flip side, if bo geol is ki ho, it's understandable that he seems more distant with his father. He's never had a good relationship with his dad so he has a harder time sharing an emotional connection with him. Hence why he's on his mom's side a lot of the time.

But also, woo hak is someone who pinpoints the importance of planning ahead for the future, something teenage ki ho has done by saving money to escape from his father.

I don't like this show because I sense a headache coming...

"If you keep worrying, you'll just end up with as many regrets down the road" Mok ha is regretting she didn't agree to go meet ran joo in seoul sooner. If she had done so, she might not have ended up on that island. The dilemma was difficult though because her father's presence was a heavy burden on her shoulders. Just like i said in my post for episode one, he destroyed her life and dreams so it's understandable she refused to go to seoul. She was scared and thought that maybe if she stopped wanting to be a singer, her father would calm down. Unfortunately, alcoh*lism is something that has an impact on the person that drinks and the people around them.

Throughout this episode, it was easy to notice how mok ha's personality and mindset hasn't changed at all. I mean, she spent fifteen years alone on a deserted island with no one to talk to. She kept herself company and seeing as she hasn't been influenced by what happened in the world, it's natural for her to be the same as she was when she arrived on that island more than a decade ago.

On that note, I'd like to say park eun bin is doing a wonderful job at being out of place/a foreigner to the world around her.

I'm just happy that mok ha learned from her past mistakes and will do whatever she wants to do. She's growing in front of our eyes.

The whole dodeok performance moment gave me so many feelings. Seeing yoon ran joo fall in disgrace from the public eye, resulting in her drowning her sorrow in cig*r*ttes and alc*h*l. But, even then, there's still someone by her side: seo mok ha. She kept her enthusiasm. She's a yoon ran joo fangirl. She proved it by giving balloons to everyone and asking them to cheer the singer on. She's a devoted fan and she made the impossible possible: impressing everyone with her singing skills and making her favorite singer shine.

I sense a strong bond forming in the future between the two women. I see them helping each other in many ways. I just can't wait to see more of ran joo and mok ha together.

I don't know if this is park eun bin singing but wow she sure does have an amazing voice 😍 edit: i checked and it is her singing voice. What a nice surprise!

before i end up this post, i'd like to apologize because i've been going back and forth in the comments i made on who might be ki ho. It's just that woo hak being ki ho makes sense but at the same time it doesn't. I'm waiting for the next episodes to see what happens.

Once again a great episode, so i'll give it a 9.5/10

[neil-gaiman]

Hello! Not a question, but I've seen a lot of people commenting/sending asks about GO season 2, so even though theres a very high chance this won't get seen, I wanted to let you know how happy it made me seeing 'the spouse' in the show. I'm non-binary, and while I do consume a lot of content with gay characters in it, it's very rare for me to see anyone under the trans umbrella. Then when I do, they're almost always a straightforward she/her or he/him kind of character, which is fine, considering they're getting represented at all, but it can be a bit frustrating. I never see anyone who's closer to my wavelength in terms of the whole gender thing

I know there's a lot of 'they's' in the show, but if I'm right, up until this person, most, if not all, of them have been either an angel, a demon, or a horseman of the apocalypse, and why would they have a solid binary view of gender? These characters did make me incredibly happy to see, but seeing a human character shown in the same light, so casually, like it was something completely normal that happens all the time, genuinely made my night (even if the rest of the season's ending did wreck me /lh)

Genuinely, it's about 8 hours later and I'm still thinking about this character. This is the first time I've seen someone like me represented in media, and to see it from a show I've been watching and adoring since it came out is incredible to me

This may not mean as much to other people, and it may not have felt like that big a thing to include, but I wanted you to know how much this truly touched my heart . I admire you and your work so much, and, i hope that your day/night is as lovely as you are

I'm really glad. I loved being able to ask Andrew to come in and play Mutt's spouse. (Also I loved the way it happened: I had no idea when I was writing Mutt whether the character would be male or female and so cheerfully wrote the spouse line to keep all our options open in casting Mutt. Once Mutt was cast, and was male, I realized that I'd grown rather fond of the "spouse", and liked the idea of casting someone who used "they" and could just be themself. This is Soho, after all.)

[gyuswhore]

the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader

the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us

synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.

wc: 2.1K

contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments

masterlist

Support creators by reblogging!

[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)

[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.

Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.

He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 

There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.

And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 

There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 

Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 

Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.

The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 

“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.

“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.

“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”

“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”

“All the time!”

“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”

“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 

The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.

But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 

A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.

[You]: can we talk?

But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 

This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 

Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 

You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 

The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 

You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 

There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 

He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 

“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 

“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.

Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 

“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 

“How does this—” 

“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 

Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.

“No.” 

Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.

“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”

Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 

Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 

Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 

You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 

There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 

Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 

The universe seems to have other plans. 

It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 

You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 

No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.

You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.

“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.

Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 

There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 

Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.

But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 

You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 

Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 

“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 

Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 

You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.

“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.

Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 

“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 

You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 

“Huh?”

“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 

You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—

“What?- Ow!” 

“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.

Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 

“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”

“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”

“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 

Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.

He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 

“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 

It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 

“W-what?”

“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 

“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 

“Did I make another mistake?” 

No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 

“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 

[lovenonymously]

the importance of well-written stories

watching Lovely Runner was like watching 4 K-dramas at once lol

well-written stories are so rare, you only understand that when you watch something exceptional. something unique. a once in a lifetime experience of watching it for the very first time.

this show gave me so many feelings. in truth, it was an experience. I'm glad I put aside my fear of sad endings and watched as it aired. for once, I took the leap and discovered that's exactly what this drama wanted me to learn.

usually, after finishing really good K-dramas or stories in general, I hit a slump where I cannot function. everything feels dull and boring. a different kind of grief at realising this was just fictional.

but not this time.

all I feel is light and happy. like I'm floating. I want to carry this feeling and runaway. I want to remember how this felt and hold onto it when I get down or get bad days.

lifetimes lived.

Sol was sunlight. bright and unwavering and unforgettable. 💛

living vicariously through Im Sol, from feeling her pain in the beginning to her sunny hope that Sun Jae gave her. all her struggles as she jumped through various lifetimes, loved and lived and loved again. crying with her, laughing with her, rooting for her despite all odds. it was a journey.

beyond her love for Sun Jae, Sol's choices changed her family's life too. they were less hurt and much happier in the future she helped them create. even giving her grandmother a chance to return to the past and relive her fondest memories.

Sun Jae was midnight rain. the comfort of a sudden shower in the middle of summer. 💙

apart from being a complete loser in love, Sun Jae was in love with Sol for a total accumulated time of 45 years.

yep. my reaction exactly ^

I won't lie, when they pulled the "he fell first" trope in Episode 2, I was wary. one, because if the writers were willing to pull such a twist in just the second episode, then who knew what else was in store for us? my guess was pretty spot on, the twists that followed had me gasping and yelling out loud. this show was unpredictable from beginning to end.

and two, because I was worried that Sun Jae's character might get reduced to just him being in love with Im Sol.

in that case, I'm glad to say,

I was completely wrong.

despite Sun Jae's love for Im Sol, he had a grounded personality of his own. whether it was OG Sun Jae (ep 1), who lived in the guilt of what happened to the girl he loved, or Timeline 3 Sun Jae (ep 15), who never fell in love at all, he was positive, kind, decisive and striving to live.

and i love that about him.

for two characters whose stories are so deeply interwoven together, having shaped aspects of each other's lives, Sol and Sun Jae displayed their unique traits exceptionally well as individuals.

I cannot emphasize how happy this makes me. Sun Jae is his own person, Sol is her own person, and they are destined to be together. beyond their desperation for each other's safety and well-being, Sol and Sun Jae are genuinely good people who deserved to be together. even fate and time bent to their will to make it happen.

"As you wait for the rain to stop, live another day."

when a story makes you feel happy, hold onto that feeling. bottle it up. write it down. come back to it on the days the world feels against you and when the times feel too bleak.

fictional though it is, for what it's worth, at least the story exists. it means there are still people out there writing and bringing such stories to life. it means artists and creators like you and I haven't yet forgotten what it's supposed to be like to live. it means there are still people who connect to such stories and learn good things from it.

and as you wait for more such great stories, live another day. perhaps, if you get bored, write the story you want to read.

in the end, it's quite simple.

as for me, I'll be here. crying, laughing, screaming, giggling and kicking my feet while being up to my eyes in second-hand embarrassment (because goodness, these two idiots are COMPLETE LOSERS IN LOVE) throughout these past 8 weeks was the highlight of my year ✨ I will always remember that I watched a beautiful modern fairytale romance in the summer of '24 that reminded me that I was young and full of love to give.

good stories truly do make a difference 🤍

[galadrieljones]

i actually wonder why you ship daryl and beth? i see them as friends and yeah i watched their scenes over and over and i didn’t see any love between them. And i see beth younger than him and i see daryl see her as a friend and sister So what is your reasons to ship them anyway!?

I'm going to assume this question is in good faith and that you are genuinely interested in why I (and many others) ship bethyl, so I'll answer in good (albeit cautious) faith. I'm also going to tag some of my friends and mutuals at the end who I would like to encourage to share why they, personally, ship bethyl.

First, know that I don't care if people don't ship bethyl. I also am not beholden to shipping "canon" ships. I don't care about any of that, and I think it's boring to restrict one's interest in shipping to what is canon or what the fandom accepts. You're free not to ship bethyl, and I won't be mad. That's your choice!!

BUT, since you're here of your own volition, realize that I personally don't buy the bethyl bond as "sibling-coded" argument at all lol. I can understand if someone just doesn't want them to be together, because they want Daryl to be with another character or something. That's fine and perfectly rational. I can also understand if someone does not like age difference ships, and they reject it on those grounds alone. Okay! That's your preference. BUT, Beth was 18 by the events of "Still." And the argument that they share a "sibling-coded" bond has never held water for me. Believe me when I say that I can see the argument for C*ryl before I can see the argument for Daryl and Beth being "sibling-coded," and that's saying a LOT. I've literally never had anyone successfully explain this perception to me using actual evidence from the show or from the actors/showrunners outside the show. It is ALWAYS subjective. And when confronted with evidence of a bethyl romance, these same people tend to just invoke their *age difference* as if that, in and of itself, is a dealbreaker.

IMPORTANT: It's NOT a dealbreaker, but some people in fandom these days mistake personal preference for moral paradigm, and these people tend to be very judgmental and to screech a lot and to spread rumors and to bully others. The same exact thing is happening to Neggie. But I'm not going to get into that right now.

Now, you say you don't see how they could possibly be "romantic." Of course, that's totally fine, but you will need to try and explain this to thousands of people lol. I am actually not super interested in going through, in detail, why I ship bethyl from a defensive position. I'm very sick of defending something that is, frankly, entirely unproblematic and also...popular! Other than Rickyl (which is a non-canon slash ship), Bethyl, even ten years after her exit from the flagship, is still the most popular TWD ship on AO3. It was popular at the time that the show aired. Jeffrey Dean Morgan's wife ships bethyl lol. Bethyl is not "weird." It's not even a rare pair!

AND YET, to put so briefly, if you *actually* care: I PERSONALLY love bethyl because I believe their characters exist in beautiful harmony. Beth is an artist. Her priority is beauty and continuously discovering what it means to live. She believes in the goodness of people. She is a religious character who has faith in God's love. She is, as Norman put it a long time ago, like a little light at the end of the tunnel for Daryl. She reminds Daryl of what it means to live, what it means to trust people and to have faith. She protects him from his own demons and reconnects him to the beauty that remains in a dying, horrific world. Daryl tends to forget about his own well-being and his own happiness. He prioritizes brute survival, because he was taught to do this over many years of emotional and physical abuse as a child. He is "used to things being ugly" and he frequently blames himself for things that go wrong. He closes himself off to others because he has a difficult time trusting that they won't abandon him or die. At the moonshine shack, Beth confronts him on this, and he confronts her right back. Beth isn't used to being challenged by men. But he challenges her to be better and to face her own insecurities as well. He makes her stronger. She pries open his heart. At the moonshine shack, she physically grabs him to remind him that he is still alive, and that everyone they've lost was once alive, too, and that just because they might be dead now, that's not his fault. The two of them still alive, while others are dead, that's not his fault, and there is still goodness in the world and things worth living for.

Speaking of physical touch, you really should rewatch "Alone" if you want to understand the physical and romantic chemistry between Beth and Daryl. There is literally so much that I could go through, but I don't have time lol.

The moment I fell in love with bethyl was actually in "30 Days Without an Accident," when Beth embraces Daryl in such a way that reassures him that he is not alone in a desperately lonely situation. Both characters are battling demons in this scene. But it's somewhat subtextual. If you don't watch closely, you may miss it.

That said, as has been established, a LOT of people did NOT miss it lol. It's just that a lot of people also want Daryl to be with someone else, or they feel the need to moralize on the internet. Neither one of those things is relevant to me, though I accept them as realities.

Anyway, I hope this helps! ->

@sasusc @frangipanilove @twdmusicboxmystery @pipergirl17 @sweetz1919

@emsee22 @drewmoll03 @bookqueenrules @bethiscomingsoon

@angelthefirst1 @bethgreeneprevails @im-immortal @rose-andthe-thorn @wdway @boltthrutheheart

and anyone else, I know I've forgotten some people 😩. I just went off the top of my head, so please chime in on why you love bethyl, or feel free to completely ignore this ❤️

[ohbother2]

Hi everyone,

I know it's been ages and some of you have probably seen this notification and have hoped that this means the fics on this page will be updating, however, I've got some bad news.

This blog was a joint account between two friends who loved creating silly stories of some of our favourite characters in our free time and gushing over character details with one another. Beyond tragically, my friend, the co-runner of this account, passed away a few months ago. Obviously, I'm keeping the details private, but it was sudden and unexpected.

I know this is a shock to all of you, and not what you were expecting to hear after such a long hiatus. Understandably, I've not been active on tumblr, particularly this account, since. It's felt incredibly wrong to login to this blog and even attempt to re-read some of the stuff posted or your comments/tags, especially without her to talk to about all your lovely messages. She really did love reading them, and we'd call for hours to laugh and talk about your kind messages.

Although I acted as what you'd call the 'face' of this account, actually posting, reblogging, commenting and following others, she was integral to the heart of this account, to the ideas and writing and editing that made this account what it is, and I don't want to continue posting heacannons/one-shots/any kind of creative writing on this blog without her. This was our passion-project, and a massive chunk of it is now missing.

I just wanted to let you guys know what the situation with this blog is and why, and I wanted to give a massive thank you from both of us for being the most supportive, kind-hearted, and tight-knit community we'd ever had or seen on Tumblr before. The fact we even had fan-art made of our writing goes to show how dedicated and incredibly talented this fandom is, how supportive and just genuinely excited everyone is to hype each other up and lift each other and appreciate all our passions. It's genuinely insane, and so rare in modern internet spaces.

Regarding the future of this account, because I don't want to leave unfinished fics floating around the website, and for personal reasons, I will be transferring all fics/one-shots over to AO3, marking them as incomplete, and 'orphaning' them. I've really debated this decision, and I believe it's the one she'd be most happy with. I'm just giving you guys fair warning, I'll wait a few weeks before I actually do anything. I don't know if I'll delete this blog, I'm rather attached, but I won't be active for a while.

Probably most importantly, if anyone wants to take our ideas or our unfinished fics/one-shots and complete them/edit the story/adapt our head-cannons/incorporate them into your own fics, please do. I think it'd be nice to inspire and help other fic writers, and see the ideas carried on in whatever way you guys choose. Everything on this account is effectively 'orphaned' already, so feel free to do whatever you want with it :).

This is getting long, but I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent in requests, funny comments, little anecdotes, and witty one-liners into our messages/asks, both that we did and didn't respond to, especially lately. We planned to do a great return to this blog after our exams responding to them all/clogging up your feeds. Someone even called us their 'favourite niche internet micro celebrity', and we both found it hilarious.

There's no gofundme or anything like that set up. Sometimes, things just don't go as we plan and there's nothing we can do. If I've learnt anything from this godawful situation, it's that you should do whatever you want as soon as possible. Don't wait to join that club. don't wait to take that trip, don't wait to watch that show, don't wait to visit friends or family, don't wait to begin doing a hobby that you think you'll love. Anything can happen, and the only time we know that we have for certain is now. (Master Uguay was right in Kung Fu Panda after all).

I won't be active for a while, but I'll check in to see how this post is doing now and again, and I'll probably post again just before I begin taking things down.

Thank you guys, and I hope you don't dwell on this post too long.

[skinnybritishdudes]

Having heard George talk so much and in such depth about his love for the show, his process, his interpretation of Edwin and his affection for him makes the idea of cancellation (I am not giving up yet) hurt extra. It's in the specifics, you know. There's that-actor-I-like-must-be-sad, and then there's having watched hours of Facetime-y videos where he talks about your favorite thing like it's his favorite thing, too. I would've been heartbroken for him anyway, but it's definitely sharper than it would've been without the Cameo Era. Honestly I just wish there was somebody I could yell at about it. It's not fair!

At the same time, holy shit am I thrilled that he got to read all those messages. He seemed genuinely surprised at how much attention people paid to the specifics of his performance and of the character, and every little detail of the show. He said in my last cameo that it felt good for him to see how invested in the show fans were because he was so invested in it, and I think that exchange was a rare and wonderful experience on both sides: for him to get the chance to know how much the show mattered to so many and that people really saw and appreciated his work, and for us to get to ask our questions and get such detailed and thoughtful answers from this sincere, unaffected young artist. Honestly, I've been in a lot of fandoms over a lot of years and this is by far my favorite thing that's ever happened in one. What an unexpected and unlikely treat.

He also said the week of Cameos felt like really getting something out of all that he'd put in to the show. So if this is the end for DBD after all, goddamn am I glad he decided to do that fundraiser. I'm so happy he was able to raise so much for a cause so dear to him, and I'm over the moon that he peeked his head in and let us tell him how great he is for that moment, too.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

hey can you do prompt 22 for chad please? hope ur okay!🤍

‘’What are you doing?’’ ‘’Drawing stars around your scars.’’

I'm so happy someone picked one of my favorite lines from the list <3 Do you get the reference?

my taglists are here  + you can requests (currently closed) here at any time

—

You were sitting on Chad’s bed in your night clothes, waiting for your boyfriend to join you and watch a movie on his laptop. The end of semester rush was approaching and you wanted to spend as much time together before the beginning of the madness, hence why you were sleeping at his dorm tonight.

It was only your third time sleeping over, but your and Chad's relationship was fairly new. At least officially. You and him had been dancing around each other, flirting and sharing kisses at parties for months.

Although your feelings for each other were obvious, Chad was hesitant to take the relationship to the next level. He would constantly push you away when things would get too personal. Initially, you thought it was a commitment issue, but as you got to know him more, you came to the conclusion that maybe something had happened in his past and made him untrusty of people and reluctant to let anyone close.

Lucky for him, you were patient. And very much into him.

‘’You have practice early tomorrow morning. Are you sure this is okay?’’

Chad laughed fondly, moving around in the dorm. ‘’It’s only 8pm. We’re nowhere near my bedtime.’’

You played with the corner of his fuzzy blanket, not letting go. ‘’I just don’t want to disturb your routine by keeping you awake for longer than you should. I’d feel so bad if you were tired tomorrow because of me.’’

Shaking his head, Chad walked over to you, dropping a kiss to your lips. ‘’There’s two hours before I need to go to bed. That’s plenty of time.’’ He went over to the nightstand and plugged his phone. ‘’Besides, I’m probably gonna fall asleep during the movie,’’ he confessed, feeling the weight of his day.

Then, he fell on the twin-sized bed beside you without a care, causing the bedframe and mattress to squeak under his weight. College furnitures are not the strongest.

‘’What movie did you pick?’’ Chad reached for the laptop, the movement causing his shorts to ride up his thigh, exposing a part of his past.

‘’What’s that?’’ you asked with furrowed eyebrows, seeing a pinkish scar on the inside of his right thigh.

You weren’t particularly looking there. It just caught your eye.

The light mood shifted as Chad tensed, visibly uncomfortable at the mention of his scar. He quickly pulled the covers over his legs, hiding them from your view.

‘’I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked,’’ you apologized, genuinely feeling bad for bringing it up.

You should have known not to ask about the scar. People rarely want to talk about them as they are most of the time related to something you would like to forget.

Before the Woodsboro attacks, Chad was confident about his body. He liked to show off his toned chest and strong biceps on every given occasion. But now that seven scars decorated it, he preferred to cover it — either with a shirt or makeup he had stolen from Mindy.

He was tempted to lie and say he got it when he was little, but the truth was too big and important to be covered by a fake childhood story.

Chad drew a breath, about to reveal something that would stun you. ‘’Have you heard of the masked killer murders last year in Woodsboro?’’

You nodded, having seen some articles online about it.

‘’I…I was one of the victims. The doctors said it was a miracle I survived my injuries.’’

‘’Injuries? As in plural?’’

He nodded in turn. ‘’There's more on my stomach.''

You furrowed your eyebrows, not remembering seeing any scars there.

Chad read your expression and reached for the back of his collar to pull his shirt off.

Your eyes fell to his collarbones and pecs, then his stomach, which was indeed mauled with six pinkish scars. They were healed, but the raised texture indicated that they weren't that old. You gently brushed your finger over the lines.

‘’Do they still hurt?’’ you asked, flicking your gaze up.

Much to Chad’s relief, there was zero ounce of pity in them.

‘’No. But sometimes I have dreams about that night and I can feel the knife stabbing me…’’

The dark confession made your heart ache.

You got up and went to your backpack where all your overnight stuff was, leaving a confused Chad behind. You grabbed an eyeliner pencil from your makeup bag and returned to the bed.

‘’Lay down.’’

Chad’s frown deepened, but he did as told. ‘’What are you doing?’’

You brought the pencil to his dark skin and began doodling. ‘’Drawing stars around your scars.’’

—

Scream taglist: @misfityanii @beautybyfire @iluvscream191 @mariposa555 @bella7866 @o638 @lulubelle14 @luvvtxinityy @frasersgf  @Eddiefrickenmunson @jasperr-the-friendly-ghost @ghostf4cee @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @wandaswigglywoos @xjennyx2 @jennasslut @thatonesblog 

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101​ @vxnity713

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/16/2024

how your backyard hurricane go, the houston area? pretty good it doesn't seem

to be clear other than losing everything in my fridge and developing some mold around the windowframes IM personally fine and so are the girls and so is the lair. we lost power sunday afternoon and got it back friday morning (upside down smiley emoji x16)

listening

THREE CANONICALLY BISEXUAL CLUB BANGERS!!! also, trying out a new thing with spotify and youtube videos for songs bc my readership is about 70/30 and i want to streamline the process of actually listening to new music for ppl. it must be really annoying this week but that's bc there's three songs. sorry. it will rarely be this long

anyway.

ANXIETY by Lilyisthatyou is new to me, off the spotify autogenerated dance playlist. a chiller groove in the spelling-things-out genre of dance music. VERY flashy-lights music vid fyi

Why do I feel so alone? Does it show That I'm dancing to fill the void with pretty girls and pretty boys?

i know about kesha's joyride bc i happen to be an alive queer woman. im SO happy kesha is also alive and making music more regularly. this one is canonically bisexual bc kesha is bisexual. also a really flashy-lights lyric video. the most classically recession-pop/early KESHA sound of all three tuesdaysongs this week. im always fascinated when an accordion shows up.

Rev my engine ’til you make it purr Keep it kinky, but I come first Beep-beep, bitch, I'm outside Get in, loser, for the joyride

thank u new releases spotify playlist. also canonically bisexual bc the singer is, also an early KESHA feel but she is a metal artist first and foremost. very fun to headbang to at a stop light. i don't totally Love how it's an emasculating song but given how dudes in the metal scene generally are? i think she should make it more emasculating actually

Take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg) If you're a macho man then beg (And beg and beg and beg) Bend you over the bed (The bed the bed the bed) It's time to take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg)

-

reading

fun fact i still haven't seen this movie. i got this from the library the day before the hurricane proper and it gave me a really lovely two hours of not thinking about the active hurricane the day after. enormous format photographs! full-length shots of every look! ithe little personal notes from each designer were so fun to read, and i think this genuinely healed my heart a little. everyone was so excited to go into detail about what choices they made and what inspired them, and even though i would have loved more specific construction details, specific fiber types, and full-length shots of the Back of every look, i recognize i am a freak.

-

watching

watched a truly bonkers assortment of films at my bestie's house this week. her husband is big into godzilla and i sat down not really paying attention or planning to pay attention to Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024, dir. Wingard) but found myself actually paying attention. i unfortunately was a character i hate, Person Who Stops The Movie Halfway Through To Demand A Recap. loved these guys, whatever the fuck they were

the most fun thing about this movie is that it is not a silent film but it acts like one. there are long, long stretches of movie without dialogue bc all the political action is happening between a bunch of giant monkeys. this is going to sound like im damning it with faint praise but they really thought carefully about directorial and artistic choices here! there was a vision and they executed it! it's fun to look at and not just because there's a big monkey in most of the shots!

-

playing

got a look at characters for the new fire-themed land coming up this fall. ppl are understandably big mad that the land is based on Ring of Fire cultures and everyone is paper-white. i think it is correct to be mad and ask them to do better, and they have tweaked designs before release before, however, i don't think this will bring about a sea change in gacha games.

i am rolling along clearing out map markers and achievement hunting and my GOD are there a lot of time-gated achievements in inazuma (electricity-themed legally-not-japan). so so so many of them i originally got halfway through or did 1/5 and then wandered off bc i didn't realize there was a quest or achievement locked behind doing something for three or five days in a row. i now have a post-it on the corner of my monitor with nine different things i have to keep checking in on this week. please someone give me a REAL JOB!!!!!!

-

making

cross stitch progress. this was the only thing i did last week aside from shake like a chihuahua and sleep. very slow going! may have to ship the package off to my brother with an IOU bc it is already stressfully late.

made the bean influencer soup (creamy miso coconut butter beans). i made a batch before the hurricane last week so most of my notes are from then. the grocery did not have canned butter beans so i made the same thing (big lima beans) from dry. i have not made beans from dry since i was very small. these beans were so large, so pale, so aggressive.

changes: i was able to find a little carton of straight coconut cream at the grocery but they were out of miso paste. i did have miso soup mix and plopped that in. i also used frozen spinch bc it’s cheaper and i felt better about it than the somewhat questionable fresh spinch on offer. also used two onions instead of one and a hearty dollop of minced jarred garlic bc who do u think i even fucking am. i would have loved to use fresh dill, bc i did plant some and it was growing very well, but the caterpillars were very intense and ate almost everything on my balcony.

going in the rotation! im making it AGAIN as im typing up this post! pretty cheap, very tasty, i don't regularly keep butter beans or coconut cream in my pantry but that can change!

[icycoldninja]

Perhaps writing the DMC men catching the reader singing to herself when she thought that she was alone while hanging clothes out to dry

She’s not exactly shy but she’s not exactly bold either, just somewhere in between but for singing…deadass not wanting to sing anywhere publicly, which results in her awkwardly sitting in a karaoke booth with her frunk friends hyping her up and she’s just “-_-“

So when they said they’ll be out to get groceries or go on a mission, she takes this time to sing to herself:

1/ Dante: Would That I - Hozier

2/ Vergil: Brooklyn Baby - Lana Del Rey

3/ Nero: La Vie En Rose - Edith Paif

4/ V: I’m a fool to want you - Frank Sinatra

Yeah, OK. Here ya go.

Sparda boys + V x Singing!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante knew you were pretty closed off in terms of singing, as whenever he took you out for karaoke nights with the rest of the DMC crew, you would just sit in the booth, watching as he and probably Nero screamed their drunken heads off.

-He assured you just couldn't sing or were just too nervous to do it in front of others, and he respected that.

Then he happened to walk out on you singing to yourself while hanging up your laundry.

-"And it's not tonight Where I'm set alight And I blink in sight Of your blinding light Oh, it's not tonight Where you hold me tight Light the fire bright Oh, let it blaze, alright

Oh, but you're good to me Oh, you're good to me Oh, but you're good to me, baby"

-Dante was stunned to hear you could sing like this, and ended up stealthily following you outside when you did your laundry, just to hear you sing.

-At some point he couldn't control himself any longer and decided to sing along with you, nearly giving you a heart attack.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil was never one to be nosy, so if you choose not to sing around others, then that's your problem, and not his.

-He doesn't make any assumptions or anything about why you choose not to sing in public, because he genuinely doesn't care.

-He can't sing to save his life, but would sooner die than have you know that, so he'll keep his mouth shut.

-At one point he walked outside, where you were hanging up laundry, only to find you belting out some tunes.

-"Well, my boyfriend's in a band He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed I've got feathers in my hair I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby

Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da Pa-ta-da-da-da-da"

-Vergil has to admit, he's impressed. He's not gonna follow you around to hear your singing, but he will leave the window open so he can quietly listen in without fear of getting caught.

□ Nero □

-Nero enjoyed singing himself, though he only ever showcased this ability when Dante dragged him out for a get-together with the others, where he would inevitably drink too much beer and lose his self control.

-He won't pressure you into doing something so potentially embarrassing, so whether you want to sing in front of him or not is entirely up to you.

-He is a little bit curious, however. Do you have a hidden talent that you're too nervous to show, or do you suck really bad?

-He happened to be taking a stroll outside when he caught wind of singing that wasn't coming from a pair of speakers. It was coming from a person, and that person was you, singing Edith Paif.

-"Des nuits d'amour à plus finir Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place Des ennuis, des chagrins s'effacent Heureux, heureux à en mourir"

(Translation from Google: Nights of endless love, a great happiness that takes its place. Troubles, sorrows fade away. Happy, happy to die)

-Nero didn't understand a word of what you were saying, but that didn't matter cause your voice was epic as hell.

● V ●

-V doesn't sing, since his voice isn't exactly made for that, but he would love to hear you sing.

-He is a tad bit disappointed that you don't want to sing, but everyone has their aversions and such, so he let it go.

-He happened to be passing by the open kitchen window, outside of which you were hanging up the laundry, and heard your singing for the first time.

-"I'm a fool to want you I'm a fool to want you To want a love that can't be true A love that's there for others too"

-V was pleasantly surprised that you'd decide to sing outside, doing such a mundane task, and was also quite happy since his wish had finally been granted.

-Since he happened to love the song you were singing, he couldn't help himself and began singing along, startling you with his raspy, mummy-with-a-sore-throat singing.

[br1ghtestlight]

bob belcher is autistic and here's why!!

social difficulties. this one is pretty obvious bcuz one of bob's most important traits is how introverted and antisocial he is and how he doesn't like being around people (outside of family) or being forced to make conversation. he spends holidays cooking in the kitchen as an excuse to not have to talk to his in-laws and he's generally very socially awkward because its hard for him to read other people and he gets stressed out easily. when he DOES have people he wants to interact with socially he's anxious that he's doing something wrong and that he'll say something to make them hate them such as phone calls or when he's texting his dad friends ("just try not to be... how you are." "i always try to do that") and seems to have a hard time reading what other people think about him especially through text or knowing when he's being rude or hurtful (like that burger convention episode where he thought he made friends but everybody hated him and was talking behind his back bcuz he misread social signals) he also seems to have a hard time reading other people's body languages and emotions. he also HATES large gatherings and parties as stated in multiple episodes. he seems to calm down and decompress by being alone and focusing on doing his own thing

lack of emotional expression. very similar to tina bob has a monotone voice and lack of facial expression compared to his family members and other characters on the show. while he CAN express his emotions through voice he mostly says what he means or how he's feeling and expects other people to do the same. very rarely genuinely smiles etc (not because he isn't happy!!! it doesn't seem to come naturally to him most of the time)

hyperfixations on specific topics and interests. while obviously bob's main interest is cooking and anything related to the production and growing of food as seen in countless episodes (thanksgiving episodes especially and any episode where he's gardening or growing plants) he does have other hyperfixations too. big examples are CAKE in that one episode and how linda says that bob gets obsessed with "boring things" too like soap carving or that episode where he hyperfixated on the internet cucumber. when this happens he focuses all his energy on the topic and doesn't seem to care about much else as seen in the episode where he gets a juicer for christmas and throughout the episode he's either excited about different juicing combinations or complaining about how he can't use his juicier ("in my head i'm at home juicing right now") while forcing his family to drink his combinations. also that History Of Pepper book that he got super into. enjoys explaining this interests to other people whether or not they seem interested in what he's saying (like in that goddamn cucumber episode)

hyper empathy for and attachment to inanimate objects. this is a HUGE thing for bob as he's always seen talking to inanimate objects around him like food as he prepares it or his kitchen utensils. he uses this to express his feelings and talk through uncertain situations but he also seems to have real empathy and emotions towards them as seen in the episode where he gets into a fight with the turkey banister or when lance the turkey gets shot. he also gets very emotional when he has to work in a different kitchen and apologizes to his stove several times

sticking to routine and resistance to change. bob clearly values his routine at the restaurant with his burger of the day etc and his family seems to have a fairly consistent daily routine with dinner and watching tv afterwards every night. in the seaplane episode linda is upset because she thinks bob's dates are boring because he always wants to go back to the same boring/reliable places that he already knows that he likes vs wanting to try something new that he possibly won't enjoy which is VERY autistic tbh

taking things literally or having trouble with sarcasm. doesn't come up very often BUT in the pigeon episode when linda tells bob to give the pigeon a bath and so he takes a bath with it and she was like NO BOBBY IN THE SINK!!! and he's like i wouldn't fit in the sink? :( thats autism baby

burnout. bob tends to hyperfixate on his job and his love of cooking but if he does this for too long without taking a break it can lead to burnout where he's seen having trouble with running the restaurant and more sensitive/annoyed by other people talking to him so he needs to take a break even if he resists this at first. very autistic experience to Hyperfixate so hard you forget your basic needs and have trouble remembering to take care of yourself

struggles with motor control and following directions. this is a smaller symptom but bob is shown having trouble with tying even basic knots and has an inability to follow maps or written instructions which can be a symptom of autism/developmental disorders. also he has a stutter which similarly is often comorbid with developmental disabilities/speech disorders

occasionally struggles with eye contact (during parent-teacher interviews)

strong sense of justice. bob very clearly has strong emotional responses and a strong sense of justice in situations that he sees as unfair and can react strongly without thinking it through. problems w/ impulse control and high emotion

bob isn't shown stimming very often but similarly to tina i think he mostly has his vocal stims that he uses in stressful situations ("oh my god. oh my god") in the movie he can also be seen groaning for hours at a time and going almost completely nonverbal in a stressful situation much like tina does which means it is likely a trait that she inherited from bob. he also paces around and seems to be predisposed to having shutdowns in stressful situations or when he's very anxious

not directly related but bob seems to think that he's MUCH better at masking than he actually is and i think that's very funny. he's like nobody knows im autistic :) <- everybody knows that he is autistic

[justanamesstuff]

All I Need

Chapter 6

Matty Healy!dad x f!reader

A/N: SURPRISE! I was going to wait a few more days, but I want to stablish Sundays as 'publication day'. I'm really nervous about you guys reading this part...I haven't posted in almost a month!! Thanks again for all the support and patience, you're the best ♥ Hope you enjoy (let me know what you think!)

Warnings: swearing; hurt feelings; angst; typos.

Word count: 6,8 K

MASTERLIST

A week before…

Saturday

Lunchtime

The sun was up in the sky, a rare thing for the commensals around the table. 

Matty woke up early in the morning, feeling the urge to spend time with his family out in the sun. His parents were in town for a few more days before going back to Manchester. He wanted to make the best of it, specially, he wanted Amelia to spend time with her grandparents. 

Matty held Amelia on his lap, Denise and Tim were at the other side of the table chatting. Matty tried to turn around looking for Y/n. He felt bad she always tried to be the perfect host when his parents were around. No matter how many times she had been told, by them or Matty, about it. Y/n assured them she was fine with it.

“Matty.” Denise tried to get his attention back.

“Yeah?” He said without actually looking at her.

Denise was aware of her son’s change around Y/n. She wasn’t dumb, she knew Matty like the back of her hand and, at the same time, he wasn’t even trying to hide it.

From the moment they crossed the threshold of the front door, Denise -more than Tim- acknowledged how Matty’s attention was fixated on Y/n. The singer’s mother noticed as well how Y/n was oblivious to that change of his attention. Denise decided to taste the waters, trying to see what was in fact happening between them.

“Y/n said she will be right back.” The teasing in her voice made Matty roll his eyes, gifting her an annoyed look. 

“I know!” He protested. “Maybe she needed help…” He shrugged his arms, trying not to show his embarrassment.  

Denise saw right through his facade. “Yeah, well, she said she can manage.”

“Nana!” Amelia's attempt to call her drift the attention of every adult to her. 

“Hello, sunshine!” Denise smiled down at Amelia.

After her own children, Amelia was for her grandparents the greatest gift. She brought a new wave of hope and happiness to them. Watching Matty became a father was something they were very eager to see. 

“She looks exactly like you, Matt.” Tim stated. 

Matty took a sip of his drink, shaking his head. “Nah, she’s the perfect mix of Y/n and I.”

“She’s perfect, the most beautiful baby, right?” Denise continued to cooing her granddaughter, who answer with her cute laugh.

Y/n make her way through the sliding door of the back patio, holding a big tray of food. She was visible preoccupied about taking care of their guests. 

“Sorry for the delay, here…enjoy!” She encouraged them to eat, sitting down beside Matty and Amelia -still on his lap-. Matty felt good again, a wave of relief washing over him.

 “Thank you, dear. Someone was getting fussy about eating.” Tim made eye contact, gifting Y/n a cheeky smile.

Y/n was confused. Her first thought was to think about her daughter, she turned around to look at her baby. It was unlikely, she though; since Amelia already had her lunch. Even though, she chose to ask.

“Mel? Matty already feed her.” She asked, worrying about Amelia genuinely.

Denise quickly tried to erase her worries. “No, not Amelia.” She wiggled her eyes towards Matty's form.

Matty was getting pissed about his mother behaviour that day. “Denise…” He warned her.

Still trying to understand what was going on, Y/n looked at Matty. “Are you?” 

Matty stared at her for a minute. It was beyond his understatement how she managed to look always cute and kissable. He repressed a groan. He had been thinking about kissing Y/n for almost a week now -or even more-. Matty knew, for experience, her taste, the things she was capable to do with him; and after his -almost- wet dream, his mind was adamant to bring the information forward all the time. Several moments during the week, Y/n or the boys had to snap him out of his daydreams. It was getting a little out of hand.

“He was.” Tim pointed directly at his son. 

Denise laughed out loud when Matty stared at them with a beyond annoyed expression.  

“Bloody hell!” He mumbled, but the rest of the group hear him. Amelia looked up at him, smiling. He couldn’t help the chuckle escaping his lips, while he ran a hand through her beautiful curls.

“Don’t swear in front of your child, Matthew!” Denise scolded him.

“Yeah, yeah…whatever!”

“We were talking, Y/n dear,” Tim continued with the previous conversation. “Well, I was saying…how similar in looks Amelia is to Matty.”

Matty looked at Y/n interacted with his father. It was always a heart-warming sight, the frontman didn’t know exactly why. It possibly was the atmosphere of cuteness around the two of them. Matty was happy that his parents liked Y/n, as much or more as he liked her. 

“Yeah, she really is.” Y/n agreed with Amelia’s grandfather.

Denise interfered once more. “Matty doesn’t agree…”

Matty felt like a teenager again, with all the teasing his parents were doing upon him. “She’s the mix of us!” He threw his arm around, his right arm falling behind Y/n’s chair. She noticed how his fingers caressed mindlessly the exposed skin of her arm. She held her breath.

“The perfect mix!” Denise said, looking between Amelia’s parents. Y/n felt her cheeks turn maroon.

“No, she’s you but in girl, Matty!” Y/n tried to protest. 

“Absolutely not,” Matty turned to look at her directly. “She has my hair…your eyes-” Matty fixated on her eyes while he talked. Forgetting where and with who they were.

Amelia noticed his attention wasn’t on her, so she interrupted his father. “Ah, ah!” She made grabby hands up to his face. 

“Don’t you agree, mel-mel?” Y/n leaned forward, closer to Matty, towards Amelia. The little girl changed her way of attention, reaching for her mother. She grabbed Y/n’s cheeks with her little hands, pulling her close.

“Mommy, mommy.” She laughed, showing Y/n her little teeth. Matty couldn’t help to place his hand on Y/n’s back. His hand was burning through the thin material of her dress, even though it felt more than nice. The caress didn’t pass Denise's scrutiny. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Matty commented about his new favourite purchase – a vintage guitar-, him and Tim disappeared; leaving the girls alone outside. Denise thought it was the perfect moment to ask Y/n about her doubts. Even though, she was aware that she needed to be careful, Denise was adamant to not intrude too much, risking making Y/n uncomfortable.

“So, now they’re gone…how are you, dear?” She asked in her own motherly way.

Y/n meet Denise and Tim after Matty and her found out about her pregnancy. Both of them were always caring and friendly towards her, specially because they knew her family lived far away. Along with Grace, Denise was part of the female support Y/n had needed through those months. 

They engaged in a relationship that persisted beyond Amelia’s birth. Denise called regularly to ask about Mel but also about her; when Matty had to go for a month, she stayed for a few days each week to help her with everything. Y/n adored Denise, and Denise adored Y/n.

Y/n took a sip of her tea, keeping her eyes on Amelia playing beside the table. “We’re good-”

Denise interrupted her smoothly. “Y/n, you…dear. I’m asking about you, darling.” She greeted her with a big smile adoring her face.

“Oh, sorry. I’m so used to get questions about us…mostly Amelia and me, as if we work as the same pack.” Y/n explained, a little embarrassed of not getting Denise’s question right.

Denise boobed her head up and down, agreeing. “Yeah, been there…” The women couldn’t help to laugh in unison. 

“Well, I’m alright…tired.” Y/n expressed. Her body deflated, showing as a fact connected with her expressions.

“Are you still working?”

“Yeah, yeah…mostly from here, from home. Which works for us, like for Matty and me, because we can split the time equally when he’s home.” 

Denise remember bits of an earlier conversation with Matty, in which he was explaining how he had to take care of Amelia because Y/n was going out. That information wasn’t rare, Matty’s factions turning hard and sullen was what took Denise by surprised and made her wonder.

She kept the chat with Y/n going. “That’s really great. He says he’s looking after Amelia today. Are you hanging with…Grace, was the name of your friend?” Denise remembered seeing Grace a few times when she came to the house.

“No, no…Grace is on a short trip to Ireland.” Y/n explains to her. She didn’t know how to bring the real plan she had for the evening. “I- I’m going-” Y/n hesitates. “I have a date.” Y/n looked down, her cheeks burning.

Y/n didn’t know why she was embarrassed or even ashamed to tell Denise her plans, telling her she had a date. Maybe it was the fact that she never, since she knew Denise, went on a date or her mixed feelings were due to Denise being Matty’s mother. Y/n brushed it off from her mind.

“Oh?” Denise was really astonished. She didn’t expect that piece of information from Y/n. Even less after Matty’s demeanour around the mother of his children. Apparently, her assumptions of them getting back together were far from reality.

Y/n kept her eyes on Amelia, who was still playing happily, unaware of her mother and grandmother conversation. “Yeah…in fact, Grace was the one that somehow arranges the first on.e” Y/n felt bad to say a little white lie to Denise. Even when she knew she couldn’t tell Denise, that it was her who pushed for the date to try to kill her feelings for Matty. “I’m going out with her cousin, Paul.” Y/n continued.

Denise felt an urge of worry. “Is he nice?”

“Yes, yes…he’s really great so far…” Y/n said, truly speaking her thoughts out loud, based on that first date a few weeks ago.

“Do you like him?” Denise stared directly at her. “I know it can be hard to start going out while having a kid and recently splitting up from your boyfriend…in my case, husband.” She tried to reason with Y/n.

Y/n returned her full attention to Denise. “Yeah, it took me a minute to start dating again…” she admitted.

Denise felt a strange vibe about the whole dating thing, even though she kept her mouth shut about it. Instead, she chose to act like a mother figure in another sense. “If I can give you an advice, don’t rush it…and if you don’t feel good about it, stop. You don’t have to push yourself.” 

 Y/n was starting to get a little emotional about it. So, she decided to try to end it. “Thank you, Denise.” Y/n said sincere. 

“Matty knows Paul?” Matty’s mother couldn’t stop that question to slip through her lips.

Y/n sight loudly. “Yes and no. We both meet him for the first time a few years back, in one of Grace’s birthday parties.” She let her know.

“Is he handsome?” Y/n laughs. 

She went to answer when Amelia brought a bunch of yellow flowers to her mother. 

“Thank you, my dear!” Y/n took it, Amelia ran away. 

Y/n thought for a minute in silence, before admitting her opinions about Paul’s looks. “He is, yes…” 

Denise sensed the change of mood on Y/n, so she tried to change it, lighten it. “Good for you! You’re so pretty, Y/n! You deserve a nice partner…” 

“Thanks” Y/n answered shyly. 

Denise placed her hand on the table, halfway from Y/n’s, with her palm upwards. “I’m really happy for you, dear.” 

Y/n grabbed Matty’s mother hand and talked as best as she could. “That’s so sweet from you, Denise. I really appreciate it.”

The emotional moment between Denise and Y/n was interrupted by a very sleepy child. Amelia made her way into Denise’s lap, making the women pull away. Denise rested her back on the chair holding Amelia who was closing her eyes. “I think someone is ready for a little nap.”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A park away from home…

Paul and Y/n strolled around the park he had chosen for the date. It was a nice place, full of big trees and people spending a nice time out of their houses to end the weekend. 

“Thank you for this.” Y/n raised the disposable coffee cup to make her point. “I’ll pay you for it.” She said, politely. 

Paul shocked her head, making a pause on the conversation after taking a sip of his own coffee. “You don’t have to, Y/n!” He protested.

“I insist.” She smiled at him. They were walking with little distance between their bodies, from time to time their arms coming in contact with each other.

The whole situation felt differently from the first date. Y/n didn’t feel the electric feeling from that night, she felt a little spiral of anxiety playing on her stomach. The butterflies, she supposed. 

Paul chuckled at her insistence. “Fine, you can pay next time. What do you say about that?” he turned to look at her, while they continue walking.

“Deal.” Y/n extended her right hand, which Paul took it on his big one. They shock hands for a few seconds and part ways laughing.

The conversation flowed between Paul and Y/n, they talked about everything and nothing at the same time. It wasn’t very exciting if she was honest to herself, but it was at the same time nice.

“So,” He started. “I’m sorry for not reaching out sooner-” Paul tried to apologize for disappearing. 

Y/n cut him in the of his sentence. “It’s fine, Paul.”

“No, no…I wanted to do it sooner. I’ve just been so busy with work-”

“I really get that, okay? Don’t worry, please!”

She couldn’t tell him she had been distracted with Matty and her own feelings. That she cuddle multiple times with the father of her child, forgetting about Paul for even days. 

Paul tried to think of something to keep her talking, so he came up with “How have you been, then?” Not very original.

“Good, good…pretty much the same, y’know? Work, parenting and all that jazz…” Y/n told him the half-truth. 

“I really wish I get to meet your daughter. I know she’s as beautiful as her mother.” Paul tried to compliment Y/n mentioning Amelia. Which had the opposite effect on her somehow. 

Y/n tried to ignore it, focusing on talking about her baby girl.“She’s beautiful, but not because of me. In fact, we had a conversation today with her grandparents-” 

Paul interrupted her, irking Y/n a little more. “Your parents?” he asked bluntly.

“No, no… Matty’s parents. They came today for lunch-” Y/n tried to keep her emotions at bay.

“Ahh, Matty!” Paul exclaimed, loud, opening her eyes wide and adding to it a strange expression on his face.

“What?” Y/n felt a pang on her stomach, making her discomfort from before worse.

Paul stopped his walking, Y/n copied him. “I’ve seen a lot about him online-” He admitted. 

“Yeah?” Y/n folded her arms. She felt the strange instinct to defend Matty, even when she also saw a lot about him online and dislike it. 

“Yes, I used to like his music, but not any more. Also, all the chicks…” Paul said, looking at her with a pinch of disapproval in his eyes. “I don’t know how you can bear with that, darling.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, comforting her. 

Y/n tried to stay cool and collected, even when his touch burned her. “Well, it’s not like they came to our house.” She got really defensive. Paul didn’t know Matty to judge him too sternly. He knew nothing. 

“Still, gorgeous. Must be a lot.” He pinched her right cheek. 

“I don’t care.” Y/n replied, harsh and lying, without caring a bit this time. “As I was saying,” because she was still sore about his consecutive interruptions. “We had a discussion about her inheriting features from us.” She ended what she was meant to say before Paul started, minutes before, his campaign against Matty. 

“I hope there are more from you, than him.” Paul kept going with it.

Y/n looked at him, clearly annoyed. Paul wasn’t stupid and started to notice he was not getting on her good side. 

“Oh, shoot!” He exclaimed, facepalming himself.

Y/n looked at him, partly annoyed and partly suspicious. “What?”

“I forgot the flowers!” He admitted. Y/n had noticed when they meet at the entrance, but chose to say nothing. Expecting him to mention it, he didn’t.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Y/n let him know, when in fact it wasn’t fine. He was being a total ass that day for her point of view. It was a big contrast with the first date.

“No, no…look. I’ll get you a new bouquet there.” Paul said quickly, a little panicky, pointing at someone selling flowers for the people around the park. 

“Paul, you don’t-” Y/n started to complain, but he was gone before she ended the phrase.

Y/n stood there, meanwhile Paul went to brought a new bunch of flowers. Y/n tried to distract herself from the doubts and the annoyance she was feeling. She recalled Denise’s words, trying to think about her real wishes. She thought about Amelia and Matty spending time together, his hand on her back earlier that day. Y/n wanted to returned home to them. At the same time, she wanted to be here, on a date. Only, not with this weird version of Paul.

She was ripped out of her daydreams when someone excused herself. Y/n feared it was one of the guy’s fans. “Excuse me?” A tall, blonde, very pretty girl asked from behind her.

Y/n turned around to look at her. “Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?” Y/n looked at both sides, making sure she was talking to her. The girl’s attention was entirely on Y/n.

Y/n looked at her through sceptical eyes. “Depends.” Y/n shielded herself with her arms, crossing them in front of her body.

“I saw you a minute ago with a man… tall, brunet and blue eyes?” She pointed far to the path Paul took, following the person with the flowers.

Y/n still on her prejudice that she was a fan, felt her anxiety rising. “Yes, what about him?”

“It’s possible his name is Paul?” 

Y/n was about to get defensive, asking how did she know that, when Paul returned and stood beside her. 

“Meredith?” Paul asked, while he held a bouquet of roses in his left hand. Y/n fixed her attention on it, feeling incredible uncomfortable. 

“Hi, Paul…long time no see, right?” The girl greeted him very far from friendly. 

Paul looked between Meredith and Y/n, taking into account Y/n’s factions. “Yeah, yeah. What are you doing here?” It was palpable he was trying to end the conversation quickly.

“With friends. Why haven’t you call back?” She deadpanned asked him. Y/n crooked her eyebrows, trying to understand what was really going on between them.

Paul was shocked by it. “Excuse us, Y/n.” He pushed the bouquet to her, with a fake smile, under Meredith scrutiny. He proceeded to push Meredith far from Y/n, and started talking under his breath, so it was impossible to understand what he was saying.

Y/n fixed her attention -again- on the bouquet. Some flowers were dead, others had petals falling or were ripped off. Y/n felt a sharp pain inside her stomach but brush it away. She was being influenced by Grace’s hobby, she tried to get rid of that train of thought.

Paul came back, pushing her harshly -from her perspective- into the opposite direction. Y/n turned around, at the same time he was making her walk, to try and see Meredith. The woman was throwing daggers with her eyes.

“Paul?” Y/n asked, trying to regain the liberty of her arm. 

He was looking right in front of him and nothing else. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” Y/n was getting scared of his actions. 

Paul said with his teeth tight. “Yes, gorgeous.” He let go of her arm, when they were far away from Meredith.

“Who was the girl?” Y/n inquired.

Paul sighed loud, closing his eyes. He stopped on his place and answer a simple, “No one, really.” Y/n wasn’t stupid to believe it, but it was obvious he didn’t want to talk about her.

“Okay?” Y/n said, doubtful. 

“Okay.” He was looking around, except to Y/n’s face or eyes. “She’s the sister of some acquaintance of mine… Meredith, the girl, came for an interview, job interview…” Paul was talking fast, stumbling with the words and moving his arms around. “It’s a whole story, I’m boring you…just work, okay?” He finally looked down at Y/n. His eyes were differently once again.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” Y/n didn’t know what else to say. Little did she understood about the whole scene with this Meredith girl.

“You wanna go? It’s getting late.” Paul looked around as if he fears Meredith could return. Y/n noticed. 

“Yes.” Y/n admitted feeling a wave of relief.

******************************************************************************

Paul and Y/n reached the spot where they parked each respective car. Y/n search for her keys inside her bag, meanwhile Paul scratched the back of his head. 

“I’m sorry about all of that.” He admitted.

“Don’t worry, Paul.” Y/n brushed him off. She wanted to be at home as soon as possible.

“And the flowers…” He continued with his pity party.

Y/n was getting annoyed once more. “It’s fine.” She said, not really caring about anything. 

“I know it’s not…can I repay you somehow?” he played with one strand of her hair. ‘He’s going to kiss me’, Y/n panicked.

“I don’t know.” She fidgeted with her car keys, looking down.

Paul pushed her chin up, forcing her to look at his eyes. “Maybe…”

“Are you going to kiss my cheek again?” She couldn’t stop herself from asking him.

He chuckled. “You hated me for that?”

“Nah…” ‘Yes, a little’

“Can I kiss you, Y/n?” If they weren’t so close, she wouldn’t have listened him. She nodded.

Since the first date, even before, she wanted to demonstrate herself Matty wasn’t the only one that made her feel things. To convince her heart that he wasn’t the owner of her body and her heart. Paul was the perfect candidate to prove her heart wrong.

Although, everything went south when his lips touched hers. Her body wasn’t reacting to his touch, Paul was rubbing circles on her back at the same time he pushed her flushed against his body. Nothing. His lips were moving along with hers, kissing her deeply. Nothing, her lips felt numb as if a dentistry was examining her mouth. ‘What’s wrong with me?’, Y/n asked herself while she expected the kiss to end.

Paul parted away, smiling at Y/n. “See you later, okay?” He pecks Y/n’s lips, she didn’t have the force to stop him. 

“Mhm.” Y/n answered, turning around to reach finally the security of her car.

Once inside her car, after waving Paul when he drove away, Y/n rested her forehead on the steering wheel. 

Y/n exclaimed for her and only her, “Fuck!” 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the studio (while Y/n is at the Park)

Despite it being Sunday evening, George called Matty because he had one idea for the new song they had been working on. As G told him, it couldn’t wait until the next work day. Matty was reluctant about going to the studio; he wanted to spend his free time with Amelia, at home. 

George ended up convincing him it was going to be a couple of hours only. Matty could use a couple of those, distracting himself from thoughts involving Y/n going out -again- with Paul. Fucking Prince Charming.

Once they finished with the new track, George came up with the funny idea to teach Amelia to play the drums. 

“You like that sound, baba?” George asked sweetly to Amelia. The girl was on his lap, grabbing one of G’s sticks, messily throwing it around his drum set.

Matty was brought back to reality to the sight of his best friend -and Amelia’s godfather – trying to teach her how to play. Amelia was still really young to play any kind of instruments, but the idea warmed her father’s heart. It brought back early memories from him and his own father playing.

“Yes!” She exclaimed overly excited.

 Her answer took George by surprised, who directed his eyes to Matty at the other side of the studio. 

“She just said yes?” He asked Matty.

Matty nodded. “Yes, mate. She’s starting to say more words…” He shared Amelia’s improvement with George.

“Holly fu- molly, you’re such a grown-up now, missy!” George blew raspberries on her cheeks, making Amelia chuckled and turn away from him.

“I know. But you’re going to be always daddy’s girl, right?” Matty tried to regain some of his daughter’s attention. Amelia’s big round eyes looked at him when she heard his voice. “My baby…” he continued. He was mesmerized by her own child. 

“Daddy, daddy!” Amelia wiggled out of George's embrace, running towards her dad. Pressing her cheek to his knees while she stood in front of his legs. 

Matty leaned down, leaving a few kisses on her head before she founds some instruments -lying around – more appealing than her father for now.

“I can’t believe it’s going to be two years since she’s here-” George thought out loud. 

Matty recalled the entire day of Amelia’s birth in seconds. “I know, I would never forget that day. It was the scariest and most amazing day of my life.” He admitted, keeping his eyes on the little girl running around. 

“I bet.” George agreed. 

“Y/n was the calmer between the two of us, and she pushed Amelia out of her body…” Matty laughed at his old self. 

He remembered, as if it was happening at the moment, his panic. He almost lost conscious for a few seconds in the hospital room, until Y/n started crying and saying she couldn’t do it. Something changed inside him hearing her say that. Since that instant until the doctors left them to spend Amelia's first hours alone, Matty stopped worrying about him and tried his best to help Y/n. Even though, she did all the hard work, really. 

It wasn’t the first time in almost two years they talked about it. George knew the story as if he was the one there. “My respects. How is she?” George started to play around with his stick, getting some good rhythms now that Amelia was not messing with the drums. 

“Um, good…she went out.” Matty admitted shyly. 

George didn’t stop playing, functioning -without knowing – like a nice distraction. “What you mean?” 

Matty groaned. “Remember Prince Charming?”

His best mate tried to think about this said guy, vaguely remembering someone apt to that description.“I think-”

“Well, she’s on a date with that moron.” Matty not even tried to suppress his eyes rolling to the back of his head. 

George stopped, looking at Matty, asking, “Jealous?” He laughed loud meanwhile.

“Shut up.”

George smiled wide, he liked to mess with Matty. “Oh, come on! It’s not like Amelia or me are going to snitch on you!” he ‘tried’ to reason with his friend.

“I know, mate. I’m not in the mood for that convo, ‘kay?” Matty rubbed his temples, with the creeping feeling of a headache coming. 

George was taken aback by it. He didn’t expect Matty to be so sensitive about having the conversation – for time number one hundred – about Y/n. Even though, he respected Matty’s limits. “Let’s work then.” He offered instead, going back to play.

They fall into a half silence, sound tracked by George trying to create something they could use. Matty didn’t move a muscle instead. He was too gone inside his own head again to think about working right now. 

“I can’t believe she went out with him…again.” Matty said out of nowhere. 

George stopped, grabbing his sticks in one hand, and sighed, defeated. He can leave work at the side for now to help his distressed best friend. “Right, so we’re having this conversation?” 

Matty was inside his own monologue of thoughts, so he kept going, “I don’t get it…she’s-”

George went to sit beside Matty on the studio’s couch. “The girl you want but doesn’t want you…” He exposed for the singer.

“Thanks, George. Helps a lot, huh?” Matty moved far from him; approaching Amelia, who was playing with the neck of an expensive guitar. He couldn’t care less about her breaking it at the moment, he would never get mad at her for it. Although, Matty wanted to be closer to her for some kind of telepathic comfort. 

“Haven’t you thought about telling her? Like really telling her, not like the past times you were about to do it…and chicken-” Georges asked.

Matty rolled his eyes, interrupting G’s monologue. “And say what exactly? ‘Hey, I’ve been paining for you for years…crazy how we have a daughter together, but we’re not together – Hear this Y/n, I’m in love with you! Funny, ha?’ Yeah, sure George…that’s going to work perfectly!” He spat, his voice full of irony and sarcasm.

George’s expressions didn’t move a single centimetre, he didn’t take it personally. He simply let Matty ramble until he stopped talking. “Are you done?”

“I don’t know.” 

Matty reached for Amelia, to place her on his lap, and presenting the guitar in front of them. Amelia was too occupied being enamoured with the item to care about anything else. Matty tried to play some cords here and there.

George studied his actions. “Matty, if you tell her, you have two options…” He gained his friend’s attention. “One,” George lifted one long finger. “Y/n takes your ass back and happily ever after. Best scenario-” He made the finger dance around. 

“And two?” Matty asked, fearing his friend response. 

“Two…” George added a second finger to the one prior. “Y/n says: I don’t feel the same…and you move on!” He pushed his body far from the couch, as if he wanted to imprint his fingers on Matty’s forehead.  “You have girls, and boys, dying for an opportunity to be with you!” George let himself plopped back on the couch.

“That’s the point!” Matty held the guitar by its neck, lifting his other arm up. “I don’t want to move on, I want her, I want Y/n!” He protested against George and even the Universe. 

Somehow, Amelia connected the name with her own mother. Matty looked at her when she exclaimed, interrupting the conversation, “Mommy!”

“Yes, I want your mommy.” Matty admitted caressing her rosy and chubby cheeks with his free hand. 

George felt bad to remind Matty about Paul. “She’s dating another guy, mate.”

“Bloody h-” Matty went to swear but held it, looking at Amelia. “I know, I know…I just-” he continued, not making too much sense. 

“Matty, you have been waiting around for two years…or more…” George said this time. 

“You right. I get it. It’s just…difficult.” 

It was difficult, Matty felt like he made it difficult. For her, for himself, for everyone. He went into a rabbit whole when he accepted Y/n’s proposition about staying as friend. Matty reproached himself for not fighting for her, for them.

“I can see that.” 

“Ugh!” Matty shouted, closing his eyes.

“UUUUH!” Amelia copied him. 

Matty opened his eyes, fixing his sight once more on his daughter. He started laughing at her antics. 

“Are you copying me, missy?” He tickled her, and she squealed because of it. “I love you so much, mel-mel!” He told her.

“Ove you.” Amelia answered, in her unique way. 

George stayed in silence, looking at his goddaughter received a shower of kisses from his best friend. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home (again)

Y/n closed the front door. Expecting to hear Amelia’s laughter or Matty’s voice, even though she was greeting with silence. Matty texted about them going to the studio, but Y/n expected them to be back by the moment she arrived. Y/n was feeling lonely and tired without too many reasons. 

As if she could hear her from the other side of the pond, Y/n’s phone shown Grace’s number calling. 

“Hey, idiot.” She answered.

Grace scoffed loud. “Cool way to great your best friend, bitch!” She protested. “As if you don’t miss me.” Y/n could bet she was pulling some of her weird expressions. 

“I do, I miss you a lot.” Y/n couldn’t keep up with the banter that evening. 

After the failed date, a very forgettable return home and her little family still not there, Y/n was getting emotional. 

“What wrong, Y/n?” Grace spoke with worry tinting her voice through the phone.

“I don’t know.” Y/n started to sniff. 

“Babe-”

“I’m sorry. I just- I had the weirdest evening- I-” Y/n started to say without really explaining. 

Grace wasn’t understanding her best friend. “Y/n, please tell me what happened…” She insisted.

“It’s not that big…I don’t know why I’m getting like this.” She started, realizing she hasn’t moved from the entrance. Y/n made her way to the bottom of the stairs and sit there. She hugged her legs with one hand, while with the other she held the phone closer to her ear. 

“I went out with Paul, as you know…” Grace made a sound of agreement, she didn’t want to cut Y/n’s speech. “He started to criticized Matty, and talk about Amelia…I got all defensive.” Y/n started to made mannerisms that Grace couldn't see but made her accentuate her words. “I don’t know why. I was so angry with him. Then, he remembered the flowers. Grace,” she made a dramatic pause. “He forgot about the bouquet and I got disappointed about it!”

Grace chuckled at the other side of the line. “I would do the same!”

Y/n agreed with her head, remembering the distant after a few seconds. “I know! That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m not that delusional!”

“Hey!” Grace protested. 

Y/n chuckled for the first time in a long few hours. “Anyway, then he went to buy a new bouquet, and suddenly I’m being asked by a random person if I’m with Paul.”

“What?” Grace interrupted. 

“My response exactly. She asked about Paul, if I was with him, and all of that. And, before I can ask her more about it, he was back…took her far-”

“Y/n-”

“That’s not all, Grace.”

“Okay, go on.” Y/n’s friend instructed her to continue. 

“He pushed me by the arm far from her, and then started to say something about – He called her Meredith,a job interview…I don’t know what else. Am I irrational or this is weird?”

“This is weird.” Grace sentenced. 

“And then we kissed.” Y/n admitted embarrassed about her own actions. She felt like she shouldn’t have kissed him. Too late. 

“You what?!” Grace shouted, making Y/n detached her phone from her ear. 

“He went for it, and I didn’t have the strength to say no.” Y/n knew she can be honest with Grace, she would never judge her and would always tell her most sincere opinion about it. 

“Y/n, that’s wrong but…you guys kissed! Oh my god!” 

“I know it’s wrong, and I haven't told you the worst…”

Graced didn’t hesitate to ask. “He stabbed you?”

“Oh my god, Grace! No!” Y/n laughed nervously, answering the stupid question.

“How could I know now? You said ‘haven’t told you the worst’...Well, for me that’s a good worse-” Grace started to explain her train of thoughts, rumbling. 

“Grace!”

“What?!”

“I didn’t felt anything.” Y/n admitted.

“And?”

“What do you mean…and? I didn’t felt anything like I feel with-”

“No, no, no!” Grace protested. 

“What?”

“You fucking know what, bitch!”

“I don’t-”

“Stop comparing them!” Y/n knew very well she was doing it, from the very start; but she was stubborn.

“I’m not-”

“You totally are!” 

“There’s nothing to compare about them…” Y/n wasn’t lying there. 

Grace scoffed at her denying. “Still doing it…”

“Shut up!”

“Y/n, give it time. You don’t know Paul, you only had two dates…that’s not enough to try to run back to Matty.” Grace tried to plant some – of her – common sense on Y/n’s mind. 

“Fuck you!”

“Sure, you’re hot.” She joked.

“Idiot.”

“You know I’m right!”

“Sure.”

“Y/n, please…give Paul a true chance, okay?” Grace tried to make her promise. 

“I’ll try my best. Can we agree everything was weird, though?” Y/n brought back the incident with Meredith.

“Yeah, I agree. Do you want me to find more about it?”

Y/n was starting to get even more confused every time she went through it all again. “No, yes- I mean…I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking too deep into this…”

“Maybe…”

“Fine, enough about me now…”

“You have to talk about the people, baby!” Grace couldn’t resist to copy Matty’s voice. 

“You don’t do it right!” Y/n objected. 

“Fuck you!”

“No, thank you.”

“Right, right, you want-”

“Shush! Tell me about you…how is the trip going?”

“This place is full of so cool flowers-” Grace choose to start her sharing, talking about her favourite thing in the world. Y/n felt a hole in her heart missing her friend, even when they haven’t seen each other for only a few days. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nighttime 

After Y/n ended her call with Grace, and Matty returned home with Amelia; the routine was back to normal. Y/n feed Amelia and took her for a bath, at the same time Matty ordered some take away for both of them, too tired to cook. 

When everyone was feed and Amelia was brought back from her fun time on the tub, Y/n decided to unwind with her child on the couch. ‘Amelia can drink her night bottle’, Y/n thought, ‘in the meantime we can watch a film’; while they waited for Matty to finished tidying the kitchen. 

Y/n kept Amelia close, rounding her with her right arm. The little girl had her bottle in a good angle, grabbing it in her tiny hands, while resting beside her mother. Both of them watching Mulan II almost getting married to Prince Jeeki and not Shang. Amelia’s mother was planning to tug her to sleep once the film was finished. Even though, mother and daughter were already falling asleep.

“Dishes are done!” Matty informed them, entering the living room. “Are you two comfy?” Matty smiled at the picture presented in front of his eyes. 

Shang was interrupting the ceremony in the background.

“Daddy…” Amelia made grabby hands, leaving the bottle fall -empty now – from her grip and resting her little face on her mother’s chest. She was getting exhausted, the sight was so cute. 

“Yeah, baby?” Matty answered. 

“A-a-a!” She let out in different notes, in her own unique way.

“What does she mean?” Y/n asked, feeling her eyelids heavy. 

“She wants me to sing. She did that at the studio today.” He tried to explain the secret code between father and daughter. 

Matty moved around, approaching the pair. Crouching down besides Y/n, his face was close to her chest, where Amelia was nesting. 

Y/n touched her curls softly, breathing slower, and enjoying Matty’s proximity too. The singer started to hummed low, she can barely hear it. Y/n felt him touch her own hair and the contact of his hand on top of hers at Amelia's head. The points of contact made her fall faster. 

“'Cause I don't need music in my ears, I don't need the crowds and the cheers” Matty sang for them with the same rhythmic tone. “Oh, just tell me you love me” He pleaded directly at Y/n, watching her calm expression. “'Cause that's all that I need to hear, I've been told so many times before” he continued. “But hearing it from you… means much more…So much more” Matty’s voice brooked at the end. 

He prayed in silence, to no one in particular, for the situation to change in his favour or change for the better. 

Behind them, General Shang and Mulan were sealing their love, marrying each other. 

Feedback is always welcomed

[verdantmeadows]

I've been meaning to post this for a bit, but, in the (live action) TV shows I often see in the background that my mom watches (shows like hospital shows, drama shows), the amount of interracial couples, even if the characters are very racially/ethnically diverse, is incredibly small. Not only that, but black characters usually end up with black characters, latine ones with latine ones, white ones with white ones, Asian ones with Asian ones....and honestly not much consideration for people who might not fit into those categories, but, if they are in the show, almost always with each other. If there is an interracial couple, it is usually of people with similar skin tones. Seeing a dark-skinned character with a light-skinned character is very rare. And this makes me so, so sad. Normalization of interracial couples has so far to go. As a kid, I truly thought it wasn't something most people cared about. But as I've grown older, I've learned that most families do care, whether on a small or large level, if their child is in an interracial relationship. Much of many societies do. Within any group or community of any race/ethnicity, it is almost always generally frowned upon or completely acceptable to make jokes about those or directly to those in interracial relationships.

In my experience with ("Western") cartoons, interracial couples are far more common, although still not as common as I think they should or could be. But I am very happy about every year they get more prominent. I do not usually watch live action TV shows, so I don't have as much experience with them, but I think it's often common for cartoons to be more recognizably diverse in their characters, ranging from things like sexuality, gender identity, disability, race/ethnicity, and more (although this still is far from where it should and could be).

That's just a really long amount of text to preface a relationship that means a lot to me that has come about recently, and is canon. In Fionna and Cake, we see a gay M/M couple, which is incredibly rare in cartoons (and if it does occur, usually only happens between gay dads, for meaningless background characters, or is immediately sidelined—I can only think of one gay M/M couple in "Western" cartoons that isn't the first two and is then immediately sidelined). Gay men (as in all MLM) are incredibly underrepresented in cartoons (and in general). All forms of queer people are, but gay men are noticeably represented less in comparison to other queer people, especially in cartoons.

Not only are they a gay M/M couple, they are also an interracial couple and one with a very visible difference with their skin tones. Marshall Lee is inarguably a black person, and Gary is presumably a white person. And their relationship is so, so cute and healing. They are truly loving towards each other. They are supportive. They are incredibly relevant to the plot, not sidelined, and are given their time to shine. We get to see a visible, gay male, interracial couple. One of them is even likely bisexual, and the other commonly and easily relatable to autistic people. They are an on-screen couple. They are relevant. This is the first time the part of me that's MLM has actually felt and been represented in a cartoon that didn't make me feel belittled or frustrated. I'm so, so happy from this.

I have seen very few people talk about how genuinely revolutionary this relationship is for the representation of queer men and queer men of color as well as for interracial and interracial queer relationships. In fact, I've seen many QUEER people be frustrated or upset by it, feeling as if it takes away from other queer people and queer relationships in the particular show/series, which is disheartening.

However, rather than focus on the negatives (although I think it's important to examine why those might come about), I want to focus on the positives. This is genuinely such an amazing push in representation on so many levels that we have. And I am so, so happy about it. I can't even express it in words. I hope that there are other people out there who realize just how big of a deal their relationship was. I am genuinely astounded by it. I don't have much more to say, so I'll just end this post with an image of them.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

I am convinced that Jason would LOVE doing drag. It's a theatrical art form that welcomes melodrama and costume design, like this shit is right up his alley! I also feel like he'd be someone who would enjoy playing around with his gender performance, like as @vigilantecore and @cleromancy have pointed out in this post he already does seem to play around with it!

As such I think it's fucking criminal that we have so few designs for him dressing fem that aren't just one-off, no connection to his character maid dresses or bunny suits. Like, c'mon, do not let Tim have all the dresses here just cause he's small and twinkish! Let the big muscle man have fun!! So here's a few of mine to help remedy this tragic deficit:

Cerulean Orbs

Minimal makeup, dark colors, and small jewelry everywhere but her EYES

Very elegant and formal and charming and oh-so tragic figure who is also very off-putting and clearly does not have all her screws tightened ("Somebody go get that girl brown contacts immediately, I am begging!")

Is a vampire, hence the aforementioned characteristics and the big fan she keeps to hide her fangs behind

Uses slight of hand tricks to do things like cry red glass rhinestones (claims they're ruby/bloody tears)

Will sometimes pick someone out of the audience to claim is her reincarnated lost love who she must avenge/protect/lure back into her arms

Smoking Gunn:

Voted "Most Menacing Cowgirl" three shows in a row - always happy to play the heel for another Queen

Carries a (fake plastic) sawed off shotgun, usually on a belt so that it hangs between her legs

She's on a quest for revenge against the man who "cut her gun tragically short"

Hair is wild and frazzled and covered in ash as though she has just blown herself up with cartoon dynamite.

Wears a bright red ribbon around her neck with the bow situated directly over the batarang scar

Of course no matter what design you go with I think it is utterly critical that his drag persona has wildly elaborate and melodramatic beef with Brucie Wayne.

He drunkenly pushed her off the Eifel Tower, he left her sister at the altar, he insulted her purse dog's honor, he sniped her bid on ebay for a super rare beanie baby at the last possible second - every time someone asks Jason just makes a new story up on the spot, often echoing real grievances both on purpose and on accident. The stories are always too wacky to be real of course, but also his anger is often too genuine for anyone to be entirely sure he's joking...

Have a fun little snippet from the terminally unfinished fanfic I made the Cerulean Orbs persona for (context is that Jason is there investigating a Riddler plot, unbenounced to any of the other bats except Tim. There were two possible locations to watch and so people split up)

The night so far has honestly been shockingly fun, even with his paranoia going full blast, looking behind curtains, around corners, searching, searching, searching, aaaaand there's another circle forming in the crowd. Shit. This one has formed around someone at the door and been moving inwards picking up participants. Jason pushes his way to the interior, making a few 'pardon mes' along the way and gaining a line of dirty looks. Then he finally reaches the end of the press of bodies and comes face to face with Bruce. Fucking. Wayne. And Jason promptly shoves his foot in his mouth, face pulled into disgust, half turning into his fan on instinct, "Oh god it's you." The crowd GASPS and Jason sees the most wonderful thing happen: Bruce looks confused. Not the false confusion he pulls when he needs to play stupid, but the real deal! That tiny tick of frustration in the corners of his eyes says that he truly, genuinely has no fucking clue who this is or why they don't like him. Bruce pulls out his best 'placating the plebs' voice, "I- I'm sorry Madam, have we met??" Jason decides the gods have smiled upon him this day as he pulls out of his stunned silence, flips his hair back and says, "Well! I'm glad ONE of us could forget!" And marches off, leaving a bewildered and half panicked Bruce behind to fend off the media questions about THAT little bombshell. Tim chirps in his ear to warn him that he just ran into Nightwing and they've got the attack covered. He can sit back and relax for the evening. Over the course of the night no less than fifteen groups of people come up to him asking him to spill the details and he gives every single one of them a new, more ridiculously embarrassing story than the last. He stole her favorite dress and drunkenly fell into the river. He took them out to get 'fucked up' and brought out a single baggy of oregano and acted like it was getting him high. He mistook her for six different women over the course of a single two hour dinner date. He did seven lines of cocaine, forgot she existed, and tried to fight god with a bottle opener. Everyone in that place has to know he's lying through his teeth, but it's just too fun a story to turn down. In fact... each of them starts spreading their own version of the rumors, embellishing as they go, and delighting in the PR hurricane they're creating around this poor man. Tim reconvenes the next day to ask Jason about what went down, and if he’s okay and what not. In the middle of Jason’s lively recounting, Tim receives a text from Dick asking for confirmation that his suspicions are correct and that Cerulean Orbs was Jason and mentioning that he’s having laughing conniption fits over the fact that Bruce can’t even begin to figure it out. There is a video of Bruce losing his mind about it attached.

Anyways, I really like the idea of Jason doing drag and I hope this catches other people's fancy too!

[nosecrinklewrites]

this is the thread the previous ask was about. i've always dreamt about turning my threads into proper fics. until then, i'm posting it here.

pairing: kylux

wordcount: 3473

cw: bad bdsm practices

link to original thread on twitter

---

hux owns a private bdsm club. he's older, doesn't take on subs anymore. enter kylo (new in town). he applies for a membership, gets in, wants a dom. there's a big selection, but of course it's the owner who catches his eye. hux is around most of the time, but rarely takes part in play. these days he spends his time making sure everyone is safe, that security and monitors are doing their job properly. hux runs a tight ship.

it doesn't stop kylo.

even though everyone tells him it's a fruitless endeavor, kylo tries anyway. he puts a lot of effort into his appearance, only takes part in play when he knows hux is nearby, makes it known that he's available and looking for a dom.

kylo's first victory comes when a guy tells him he got a new paddle he'd like to try out; would kylo like to help him out? kylo says yes before he's even checked if hux is around (he's always down for getting spanked). hux watches stoically from the sidelines. he catches kylo's eyes a couple of times. his face doesn't show anything, but kylo would like to think hux is impressed. kylo can take a beating and is proud of the fact; he hopes hux is too. even if hux isn't impressed, the guy with the paddle is. kylo is rewarded with grateful pets when they're done. praise doesn't do much for kylo when he doesn't know if it's genuine, but he appreciates it none the less.

hux is gone by the time paddle guy is done petting him.

his body looks fine the way it is, but kylo puts in some extra work outs. he's been told in the past that the bigger he is, the hotter it is that he submits so willingly. he doesn't know if hux feels the same, but it can't hurt to try.

patience isn't kylo's strong suit, so when nothing happens, he starts to consider other offers. just because hux doesn't pay attention to him, it doesn't mean other people don't.

his first partner is underwhelming, can't take him out of his head at all.

the second is better, but he's too timid for kylo's tastes. kylo needs someone who won't hold back. what's the point of safewords if you keep checking in anyway?

the third is ... the third one is a bad idea. kylo gets a bad vibe from the guy, but gives it a try anyway. he should have stuck with his gut. kylo safewords, but it takes a couple of times for the guy to react to it. his face is one of his hard limits. they talked about it beforehand, but the guy doesn't respect it.

going back to the club with bruises on his face isn't a great feeling; not when he has to face the people who warned him about the guy. kylo is visibly affected, but he decides to hang around anyway. if he'd quit the first time someone broke his trust, he wouldn't have lasted a week. it's not the first time and it won't be the last.

he hangs back and takes it easy for a while. kylo was sort of waiting for his bad luck to hit; it usually does. he figures the guy is it, but he should have known it would get much, much worse than that. hux decides now is the perfect time to introduce himself. or rather, that's what kylo thinks is about to happen. evidently word travels fast and hux pulls kylo aside, asks about the bruises. bruises aren't unusual, far from it, but hux's experience shows through. he can tell kylo isn't happy about them, asks how he got them, who did it. kylo doesn't like ratting people out and brushes it off, insists that these things happen.

hux disagrees.

kylo doesn't think hux is doing it on purpose, but he can't help but cower at hux's prodding. kylo blurts the name of the guy and hux catches himself at the outburst; steps back and apologises. he didn't mean to be forceful, but the club belongs to him and he's not going to sit by while members of his club assault each other. since they're alone, hux allows himself to show how rattled he is. he apologises again and explains that he's had his suspicions, but didn't want to throw the guy out without good reason. he also belatedly realises he never introduced himself and offers his hand to kylo. it's not the way kylo had hoped hux would touch him for the first time, but he's a little overwhelmed none the less; especially when hux tells him he wants to know if anything like it happens again.

kylo fights it, but he tears up a little bit, nods and promises to let hux know. kylo's luck continues to fucking suck. hux doesn't just walk away and ignore kylo being weepy. instead he asks if kylo is alright, if the encounter was worse than he lets on. teary eyed kylo has to admit it's not about the guy, but hux's attention and regard for his wellbeing. after a few moments of kylo sniffling, yet pretending he's not and generally being pretty fucking pathetic, hux says, "he didn't take proper care of you, did he?"

hux is blocking the only exit and kylo is about to have a full on meltdown. he blubbers something about being fine - he's perfectly fine! really! but hux isn't an idiot. he tells kylo he'd like to help, in any way that he can. how can kylo say no to that? so, he finds himself being led down a corridor and through a door with an "employees only" sign. hux takes him to his office. his own personal, private office. it has a sign on the door AND the desk, with his name on it. he offers kylo his desk chair, not the one in front of it. the leather squeaks as kylo sits down. hux hands him a tissue from one of the drawers and sits on the desk, waits patiently for kylo to clean up. kylo feels incredibly pathetic. he's a grown man, he's been punched in the face numerous times, this isn't any different.

"what can i do?" hux asks softly. kylo insists that this is fine, he doesn't need anything, but hux isn't so easily fooled. "what do you like to do to come down? what helps you?" kylo shrugs and is generally useless, so hux starts from the top; lists everything he can think of. when hux mentions kneeling, kylo makes an involuntary sound. hux smiles a little, says, "yeah? i'm afraid i'm a bit out of practice, but i'd be happy to have you kneel for me. if you want."

kylo is out of his seat and on his knees before hux is done talking. the desk is not ideal, hux is sitting much too high up. kylo rests his face against hux's knees, holds his calves in his hands. his posture is terrible, it can't be pleasing to look at, but kylo doesn't care. hux's slacks are silky soft in his hands and he can finally breathe.

"that bad, huh?" hux says and asks if he can touch him. kylo nods against his knees, and hux gently puts a hand on the crown of kylo's head. kylo is instantly reminded why the bad experiences are worth it. he'd happily be bruised for the rest of his days if it meant he got to have this. hux isn't doing much, just moving his fingers a bit, but kylo can feel him all around. hux's presence is tangible in the room, all around kylo's body. hux feels larger than life.

"i will never understand why people mistreat subs," hux says softly, mostly to himself. "even brats are sweet as can be when you know what makes them tick." kylo makes a low sound to convey that he's listening. hux runs his fingers through the front of kylo's hair. "are you a brat, kylo?" he hums.

kylo doesn't want to, but he raises his head, blinks up at hux. "no, sir," he mutters and hides his face again. hux laughs, but kylo can't tell which part he's laughing at. kylo isn't well behaved, but he doesn't consider himself a brat. hux lets him kneel in silence for a while.

"we can move, if you'd like? there's a sofa," he eventually says and gestures over his shoulder.

kylo thinks it over, asks, "what are we gonna do on the sofa?"

"what would you like to do?"

it feels like a trap. no dom has ever given kylo what he wanted just because he asked for it. "do i have to crawl there?"

once again, hux turns it around, "would you like to?"

kylo shakes his head. "the floor's too hard; my knees aren't that great."

"we'll walk, then," hux says easily and reaches down, hands moving to kylo's armpits. (for a wild second, kylo thinks hux will attempt to pick him up like a toddler.) hux makes kylo lean back, away from his legs, and makes him sit upright; offers his hands. kylo's brain doesn't quite compute, so they hold hands for a second, while kylo just blinks up at him.

at least hux finds it amusing rather than irritating. he smiles and says, "up you go, big boy, come on," and pulls gently. the sofa is both exciting and terrifying. kylo isn't quite sure he's clear headed enough to make decisions. he feels sluggish, both because of the crying and the unexpected proximity to hux.

at least hux seems to know what he's doing. kylo has a hard time keeping his head up, so hux cups his face, strokes his cheeks. "would you like to lie on my lap?" he asks.

kylo glances to the sofa and back. he hadn't planned on getting spanked today, but if that's what hux wants.

he nods and waits while hux sits down. hux pats his lap and kylo lies down. hux sits too close to the armrest for kylo to comfortably lie down, but he tries anyway. he's barely settled before hux exclaims, "oh, no, no, darling, no – i meant your head. i want your head on my lap."

kylo frowns over his shoulder, "what?"

hux tries to make kylo turn over, move down the sofa, but physically moving kylo isn't easily done. "lie down, please?"

kylo reluctantly moves, still not understanding what is happening. "do you want my mouth?" hux sighs and cups kylo's face again. "kylo, i'm not asking for sex. i would like for you to lie down, put your head on my thigh and let me pet you for a bit. would that be alright?"

it's a weird thing to ask for when they haven't fucked or anything, but kylo complies anyway. as he lies there and tries to get comfortable, it strikes him just how big the sofa is. hux must have bought it big enough for him to nap comfortably. he looks at the ceiling for half a second before he decides he hates it and rolls over, smushes his face into hux's belly instead.

hux waits until he's sure kylo has stopped moving. "are you done?" he asks, amusement clear in his voice.

"sorry," he muffles into hux's shirt.

"it's alright," hux replies. "you're just a bit big to be a lap dog, is all."

kylo can feel his stupid ears turn red. hux brushes his hair back behind his ear, runs the pad of his finger along the shell of it. it feels hot like burning when hux's chill fingers touch it. thankfully, he quickly moves on and pets kylo hair instead, like he said he would.

it takes kylo an embarrassing amount of time to relax properly. he can't help but be hyper aware of hux's dick being right under his head. it would be so easy for himself or hux to turn his head down.

the repetitive movement of hux stroking his hair is eventually enough for kylo to relax. hux's clothes smell really good, the room is quiet, hux isn't asking him to do anything – kylo almost dozes for a bit.

"god, i missed this," hux whispers. maybe he thinks kylo's asleep or maybe he doesn't care that he hears it. it makes kylo's chest hurt a little, he can hear how heartfelt it is. he didn't give much thought as to why hux doesn't have subs anymore; figured he just didn't want to.

"missed what?" kylo carefully whispers back.

hux's hand stops moving for a second, before going back to petting kylo. "taking care of someone," he says softly.

"you mean you've done this before? the--" kylo gestures to his hair and the desk.

"of course," hux smiles and strokes kylo's cheek with the back of his fingers. "i take care of what's mine."

"what about sex?"

"what about it?"

"do you do that before or after the ... the 'taking care of'?"

hux furrows his brows. "i always do it after sex, but i like to do it without sex being involved at all, too."

kylo doesn't understand, exactly, but he keeps his mouth shut. bdsm is a sex thing; it always comes back to sex.

hux runs his thumb along the bruise on kylo's cheekbone, applies pressure until it hurts and kylo flinches. kylo glances up at him. "who told you it has to hurt?"

"it's sort of implied, isn't it?"

hux puts his head in his hand, breathes slowly and deeply for a moment. "explain."

"i mean," kylo says, bites his lip, tries to get his words in order. "spanking always hurts. getting tied up pinches and hurts, too. i guess kneeling doesn't have to hurt, but i've got bad knees, so it does for me."

a vein starts to pulse in hux's temple and kylo stops talking. it's unnerving that hux isn't looking at him when he speaks.

"do you like when it hurts? does it bring you pleasure?"

kylo doesn't know how to answer that. it's not about the sub, is it? the doms do what they enjoy and the subs are just along for the ride, aren't they?

hux lowers his hand and looks at kylo. "i'll take your silence as a no."

"i like getting spanked?" kylo tries.

"we all do, sweetheart. doesn't mean you're a masochist."

kylo feels very stupid and very small and not very good at all. he tucks his face back into hux's belly. hux cups the back of his head and lets him stay there. kylo doesn't understand why hux is so patient. kylo loves these in between moments during play, when he gets to kneel or be petted or just lie on his dom for little bit, but no one has ever let him do it for this long before. and hux said he didn't want sex! the whole thing is very confusing. everyone he's talked to says that hux is an amazing dom and has so much experience with bdsm - but this isn't bdsm at all! he's just petting and holding kylo! maybe it's a weird kind of bdsm kylo doesn't know?

"kylo, i ... this is wildy inappropriate and i apologise, but i would like to ask you to cease looking for a dom," hux says. "i don't think it's safe."

startled, kylo peeks up at him, "why?"

"please don't take this the wrong way, but you don't know what you're doing. there's nothing wrong with that, we all have to start somewhere, but i can't vouch for every single dom in my club. you need someone experienced, someone to guide you," he says softly. "you being as submissive as you are, i don't want anyone to take advantage of that and hurt you," once again, he brushes the bruise on kylo's cheek, "not more than you already have been."

one of the buttons of hux's dress shirt is right at eye level and kylo pulls on it, pops it out of the button hole. "maybe you could do it," he says quietly. "be my dom."

hux's mouth turns down a little. "it's been a long time for me. i'm not sure i'm the right person anymore."

"what if i want you anyway?" kylo asks. he gets a couple of fingers inside hux's shirt, before hux stops him and pulls them back out.

"i'm a busy man, kylo."

kylo reaches for the next button on hux's shirt, pulls it open. "what if i'm really quiet?" he puts his nose through the opening in the shirt, nuzzles against the soft skin of hux's belly. "i'll just be in your office, waiting for you. you don't even have to pay attention to me."

hux threads his fingers through kylo's hair, tugs gently. "that's not even a little bit true," he laughs. "you need attention like breathing. don't think i haven't noticed you before, kylo. you're a loud and demanding little thing, aren't you? greedy." the tone of hux's voice; he says 'greedy' like other people say 'beautiful'.

kylo salivates. "please? i'll make it worth it," he begs, nips at hux's skin.

"you're making it really hard to say no, you know," hux groans, but doesn't do anything to stop what kylo is doing. hux sinks deeper into his seat, makes more room for kylo. he keeps petting his hair, but complains about kylo's manners. "you've had doms before, haven't you? why didn't any of them teach you how to behave?"

"many have tried," kylo says, embarrassed, "but i'm not good at following instructions."

"problems with authority?" hux guesses.

kylo sits up instead of replying, dislodges hux's hand. he opens more buttons and pulls the shirt tails out of hux's slacks. "being disciplined doesn't work very well with you, does it?"

hux is still wearing his jacket, so kylo can't do much. he pulls hux's shirt open and pauses.

"you're pierced."

"i am," hux says simply, eyes still on kylo's face. "no one's ever tried to understand you, have they?"

"what's there to understand?" kylo asks absently and touches one of the nipple piercings. "a sub's a sub."

"what? no! kylo, what the--" hux takes a deep breath, calms down before he goes on. "i thought archie might be an option for you, but holy-- this is way above his paygrade."

kylo pouts, "did i say something wrong?"

"no, honey, no, it's not your fault," hux assures him (and pulls kylo's fingers away from his nipples, puts them on kylo's lap).

"who's archie?"

"cardinal. he's been talking about you for months."

"good things?"

hux smooths the hair off of kylo's forehead. "very good," he smiles. "he asked me for advice. he's been subbing for a long time, but he's a switch and wanted to get back into being a dom. he asked about you, but i don't know you, so i recommended some i do know."

"i didn't know you did that kind of thing," kylo mutters.

hux nods, holds kylo's fidgeting hands. "i like being involved. i know almost everyone here. i approve all the memberships myself."

"is that why you don't want a sub?"

hux looks pinched for a moment. "it's not that i don't want one, but i don't think it's fair to them. i would feel awful taking on a sub, knowing i might neglect them because of my work."

kylo's pout deepens. he really wanted it to be hux. kylo thought hux was one of those cold, severe doms who knows what they want and won't settle for anything less than perfection. kylo is very much into that, but now that he has spoken to him, hux is not like that at all! he's everything kylo didn't know he wanted.

hux nudges his chin and kylo looks up. "you'll find someone. i promise. i'll keep my eye out, if you want? help you look."

"but i want you."

”kylo.”

"i know," kylo says hastily. "i know you're busy, but whatever time you have, i'll take it. please?"

hux sighs again, runs his fingers through his hair, makes an attempt to button his shirt. "it's really not a lot. i'm here late, almost every night."

kylo takes over, buttons the shirt for him. "i'll find a hobby, it's ok."

"alright," hux chuckles and sits up. "on one condition."

kylo perks up, but forces the hopeful feeling in his chest down. "anything."

"if you feel neglected, you tell me, and i'll do what i can to find someone else for you."

the moment stretches between them until kylo whispers, "what are you saying?"

hux takes kylo's hand where it rests on his thigh, brings it to his lips, and kisses kylo's knuckles. he smiles softly and winks, "you got yourself a dom, sweetheart."

[oh-saints]

gift

when your boyfriend is manchester city’s infamous number 3, it’s a bit hard to find a suitable gift for someone who practically has the world in his hands.

rúben dias x engineer!OC

word count: 3.7k

note: due to popular demand on my askbox (of which i can no longer reply 1-by-1) and as a thank you for the enthusiasm you showed in there, this is the 2nd part to this but can be read as a standalone for those who haven’t read the 1st part. this is also mildly inspired by this ask AND THE GIF (asfghjhjhj i'm still not over it tbh). however, as usual, i happen to always write around dawn so ofc this is not beta-read.

tags: @thatonesexycancerian <3

it didn’t take valentine’s day to know that rúben dias’ dominant love language is giving gifts.

hell, it didn’t even take a week for adrianna to know that. it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea to curate a spotify playlist specifically for someone, inspired by the way they met and the current long-distance relationship they were holding on, and kept expanding whenever the boyfriend was missing the girlfriend—which was a lot.

the listing parade continued with a letterboxd list of movies to watch so adrianna wouldn’t run out of things to watch and a goodreads list of books so adrianna wouldn’t feel bored when the mood to watch had deserted her. the latter touched a part of her she didn’t know existed because she knew he wasn’t that much of a fan to books, but he’d vouched he’d read them before he recommended it to her.

maybe the sentiment behind them got her more than she’d liked because let’s be realistic, rúben dias is a busy man with a very demanding job, physically and mentally. not to mention he spent more time on the jet plane than on ground. yet, he spared some time—obviously more than he’d admitted over the phone when she confronted him—to create something so personal like that.

but what started small became something else entirely.

the lists, at least those she could take on. however, when adrianna told her boyfriend she was heading for the shore for the first time in a while, the portugese decided by himself that it was a good idea to upgrade her ordinary deluxe hotel room into a suite. while the luxury that was entitled to the hefty price tag was an absolute pleasure to be indulged in after months of being in a rig, adrianna vowed to repay him one way or another, despite rúben’s insistence that he wouldn’t take on the repayment because he'd “be more than happy to give his girl nothing but the best.”

and he lived up to his words. by the time they stepped into the 3-month mark, adrianna shook up the entire rig from having a 100-piece fresh flower bouquet delivered to the facility right before the day started for the engineers. the flowers surely was a rare sight to see, even more unheard of than the legendary blood moon, hence her male counterparts were genuinely elated for her. for her excellent catch, and for the hope it sparked to their love life—be it single-ready-to-mingle-but-distance-sucks or the helpless long-distance relationship.

6 months in and her royal boyfriend treated the entire rig for a banquet with food they rarely had the chance to devour unless they went back on-shore. he slipped in a little gratitude note for always looking out his girl when I’m not around, albeit anonymously because both rúben and adrianna agreed on not telling anyone until they were fully ready to share the relationship with the rest of the world, just like how adrianna had to share rúben.

there was also time when he missed adrianna so much he sent random gifts to the rig. today was a bouquet of lego flowers that rúben had constructed himself and framed in a box, complete with a little note to show how much he longed to have her in his arms once more and a polaroid of him and his dog, sporting all black fashion because they were mourning. she was astounded that (i) he remembered adrianna said the water the rig was using was actually filtered from the surrounding sea and it unfortunately wilted the flowers sooner than expected, (ii) he asked her if she also missed him they way he did her. the last part made her heart skipped a dozen notes.

it wasn’t like she never reciprocated how rúben expressed his profound love towards her—telling him how much she loves him, despite their short time together physically—but she’d never had to show how much she loved someone with gifts. sure, she wasn’t a plain jane or some sort towards that kind of lifestyle but she was more familiar in the tradition of gifting someone else a practical gift. at least something she knew they needed it so she bought it, none gone wasted.

and now… she wasn’t sure at all. because it wasn’t only about what he liked, but it was about how to blow his waters off the pool, too. at the same time, it should also be something that was equivalent as to saying i love you without spelling the 8 letters. she didn’t want rúben to think he was dating someone no good for him, someone who couldn’t match his level. someone not worthy of him. if there was one thing adrianna hated the most was to disappoint people she deeply cared about.

what do you give to someone who’s already had everything best in this world?

while she was now past the privilege of looking at her bank account every pay check day to ensure she could live off safely for the next month, she didn’t hold a single candle—not even the gigantic bath & body works 3-wicks candle—against what could possibly run down deep in rúben’s pocket. she didn’t need to look up his weekly salary—weekly, mind you!—on search bar to know so. take a look at the wall of rúben dias’ corner in her room and you’d get a good guess.

whoever implanted the idea that petroleum chemical engineering would bring abundance of fortune to adrianna’s pocket, surely never had the misfortune of dating someone in the same calibre as rúben dias of manchester city. she certainly had a hard time figuring out what kind of gift could be deemed acceptable for the rúben dias.

good lord, please help. or maybe rúben’s brother if lord was too busy taking another call.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

adrianna, at this point, didn’t know whether her heart was beating rapidly to match the drums played at the background or due to the nerves jumping up and down under her consciousness. all she knew was that whatever it is she was doing now was definitely on the scale of something she’d never done before, and the desire to give rúben only the best of her—in her capability, that is—was her only drive to play this crazy card.

crazy because she thought of all the things that’d need help arranging when she was so far away from where her boyfriend now and had no prior experience conducting this whole charade; not crazy because ivan thought his brother would want nothing else but what she had up in her sleeve. “crazy? this is probably the best gift he’ll have,” was ivan’s response when she confided her plan.

no matter how much ivan reassured her that her decision was brilliant—to the point he was very willing orchestrating everything else that was out of adrianna’s reach, in order for her plan to be perfectly executed—adrianna couldn’t stop herself from fidgeting her fingers on her lap. what if it still wasn’t enough for rúben?

what if she wasn’t enough for rúben?

if her sister whined once more about wanting to get married someone rich instead of finishing her study, she’d cut off her allowance for the rest of her life. it should serve her the reminder that it wasn’t easy to date someone that seemed… so larger than life. at least, her life.

yes, she’d seen a glimpse of what life next would bring to her back when they met for the first time at the airport. people started to made a sizable crowd around them, with their phone cameras pointed at rúben and her. the photos made the internet go berserk briefly and netizens tried to figure out who rúben’s newest, mystery girl was. but she could take that on, she’d thought. as long as they didn’t step over the boundaries, she understood that much. she was a fan of the jonas brothers herself a long time ago.

but now, as she stepped inside the packed etihad stadium for the last game of the season, she realised what dating rúben dias entailed. the cameras had been set up around the stadium, and it dawned on her that the crowd she went in together with today was only a miniscule part of city fans all over the world. what she did would affect rúben, and what if she took a wrong step? what if that wrong step was a sufficient reason to break their newly-embarked relationship?

adrianna felt like puking this very minute.

“you okay?”

ivan’s voice was enough to cancel her initial reaction of vomiting but not enough to conceal the shaky breath she took as she looked up to the man resembling rúben by the eyes. like his brother, this man harboured some sort of invisible power that unabled her to tell lies. but her mental breakdown was beyond comprehensive words at this point, and there was no way to summarize what she was feeling right now. so she swallowed every last bit of her sanity down the throat and took the seat beside the older man.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

rúben played excellently as usual, but it was nothing but expected of the backline captain. still, manchester city conceded two easy goals for the opponent. absolute shambles, especially when they were in tight positions to secure another premier league trophy. they lose and the trophy goes elsewhere.

having watched her boyfriend’s matches now, adrianna recognised the look of frustrations rúben sported. frustrated that his team could’ve done better, frustrated that his team were on the verge of giving up, frustrated that he couldn’t contribute better on the other goal end. they needed two more goals to make an epic comeback.

they were running so well for the whole season that adrianna couldn’t help but blame herself, should they lose in her presence. she was halfway believing it was because of her that the team was behind because it was supposed to be an easy team win. it was the day she decided to come to manchester to finally catch her boyfriend in action after all.

“you should text him,” ivan said when the referee blew the halftime whistle and adrianna watched as her boyfriend was walking towards the tunnel, shaking his head, obviously disgruntled at the result so far. “it’ll cheer him up.”

why bother on placing another jinx of misfortune towards rúben and his teammates?

maybe her idea of coming here was bound to doom.

“i don’t want to distract him, ivan.”

“contrary to your belief, you’re the reason he’s so focused, adrianna,” ivan clicked his tongue in disbelief. “you make him better than every day before. it never happens to my brother.”

maybe ivan was only saying it was a good one out of pity towards her, seeing that her plan was failing.

“whatever,” ivan continued, his voice matching his gruff exterior. “i sent him one picture of you already, thought that might fuel his spirit even more.”

should she? what if her text wasn’t enough to lift rúben up?

just as about adrianna was on the verge of giving in, she felt something running down her spine. that familiar shiver when you know someone was watching you from behind. but instead of fear, she felt warmth. the kind of warmth that only rúben could emit. be it his voice, his presence—him. she turned her line of sight to the direction of the grass pitch and there he was, standing tall and proud and unbothered like his reputation of wall of china while looking at her with eyes smeared with a little bit of disbelief, but zeroed on her nonetheless. contrasting the traditional centre back posture was his mega-watt smile, the one he never failed to show her whenever she picked up his video calls before greeting her with, “minha vida, meu amor, how are you today?”

the one she knew he reserved it only for her. because it never failed to make her feel like the only girl in the world at that moment, like she was the centre of his universe and nothing else mattered to him the most.

and at that moment, she knew rúben chose her because she was enough for him.

it was easy for them the first time they met, and it was easy now for her to feel the affection rúben loved to shower her unconditionally with.

and before her brain could take over the last piece of logic inside her, adrianna flashed him a grin that stretched from ear to ear at the view that reminded her of a chesire cat eager to play with alice in wonderland. her version of the smile that was only intended for rúben dias and only at rúben dias, no matter the time and place.

she waved at him involuntarily, the part of her body that had been missing him to bits since their airport encounter stole the start from her rationale, unable to contain the lingering that had been gnawing her heart for months now. fuck distance makes heart grow fonder, it softened the hell out of the organ she could combust if she didn’t get to touch her boyfriend when they were now this close to being together, physically and mentally.

she didn’t think his smile could grow any bigger but it did, as she waved at him. and the disbelief in his eyes turned into something else entirely. fierce, but elated. like he was so happy she was here that it was enough to fire again the determination and desire to grab the win from the back. like he’d finally found his reasoning and awakening altogether at the same time.

and it was enough for him to light up the spirit. of him, of his fellow defenders, of his team. of the stadium and the fans everywhere else in the world when he slotted another well-executed header into the opponent’s goal to level the score. it looked effortless; perfectly timed and executed by kevin.

and for rúben, effortless was something he grew accustomed to lately, despite some people calling him crazy for his “rash” decision. but he couldn’t blame people when they don’t exactly know the real meaning of the word, not when he knew they didn’t have adrianna to show him everything he needed to know about falling in love effortlessly. like his goal, his encounter with adrianna was perfectly timed. so for him, there was nothing else more suitable than a celebration to match the theme.

the portugese didn’t think twice when he ran to the other end from where the goal just went in, so fast his mates were screaming his name to slow down, and then he simply stood there with the same smile he knew she loved and knew only came out when he was with her. no grandiose gesture, he just straight on looked up at his girlfriend, now wearing the blue shirt he’d always dream to see her on. erupting crowd and back hugs from his teammates paled to the pride and proud she wore in her face as she looked down at him.

ilkay shook the stadium once more when his strike went past the goalie the last 3 minutes of the game, pretty much sealing the most coveted trophy in the football industry for the 4th time to manchester city. when the whistle finally blew, literally and figuratively, the crowd went wild to the point the players had to be rescued from the pitch towards the tunnel. rúben didn’t think twice to call ivan immediately as he reached the locker room to ask if they were safe and sound.

(well, the implied question was if adrianna was safe and sound.)

the roaring stadium couldn’t even conceal the palpitating beats inside his ribcage, the blood rushed to his ears faster than his regular pace that his phone had to alerted him to calm down. but how could he calm down when he just contributed the most important goal of his career, in the presence of the woman he loved? in the presence of the woman whom he knew must’ve taken half of her precious annual leave so bravely just to see him?

how could he calm down when he knew she was so close yet so far? when he knew he could’ve run upstairs just to have her in his arms for a minute before returning back in time for the trophy lift?

should he just forego this whole thing and be with her instead? he’d won 3 epl trophies before, the thrilling feeling shouldn’t be new anymore, right?

unfortunately, however, before he could execute his crazy escapade, the staff ushered the first team out to the field again for the one thing the entire building had been working on.

rúben waited in line for his turn to earn his silver medal with “4-time champion” inscribed on it and while doing so, he couldn’t help himself to look up to the tribune where adrianna was at. as soon as he saw the grin she was sporting, jumping up and down beside his brother ivan, looking as real and as regal as the first time he saw her, he smiled so wide john stones had to elbow him on the belly. “where’s the missus at? she here?”

rúben only answered the barnsley native with a nod towards his girlfriend, the grin on his face never perished. she waved again at him, her excitement so infectious that rúben couldn’t stop himself from blowing a kiss at her. john laughed at how corny that was but couldn’t bring himself to blame the portugese from being lovesick. being deserted by your ex just when you popped the question wasn’t something easy to comeback from. john was only glad he’d found a better match in all aspect for rúben, despite the distance the couple had to endure together.

the trophy lifted and paraded to every corner of the pitch, photos taken at every sequence, and now it was time for the family to congratulate their loved ones for the hard work they’d committed this past year. adrianna, included, although she only had the privilege recently.

despite the ardent crave to jump into rúben’s strong arms as soon as the portugese was in her sight, adrianna gave some space to the dias brothers to celebrate first. rúben had several times mentioned ivan and his cousin were two people that inspired him the most in regards to his professional career so she wouldn’t want to try to break the bond and respect that were shared between the two, and rúben swore he fell in love again once more when he realised the meaning behind her action.

as soon as rúben’s eyes diverted from ivan to her, adrianna didn’t hesitate to cut off the last remaining distance between them. and as soon as her head fitted under his palm and her legs hung around the back of his waist, rúben released the breath he didn’t know he was holding. at last, he muttered against her hair. who knew the smell of a shampoo could be so comforting?

at that moment, reality hit him. rúben dias had been too focused on chasing something—anything; trophies, titles, awards—that he forgot the meaning of home. and adrianna just handed it back on his plate.

it was so soothing how small she was in his arms, yet it felt like he had come back home. like he was holding his entire world in his embrace, and he couldn’t ask for anything else better, even if it meant that he had to undergo the whole failed proposal all over again.

“you’re here.”

“i am,”and there was the sound he’d been missing the most, clear as crystal. not the one he’d been hearing over the phone, through the endless video calls when he was about to sleep and she just woke up. “parabens, querido.”

“i must be dreaming,” rúbenhad to pull her closer to him—as if it was possible—to make sure she was here, in flesh and blood. “you can’t be real, you know? but i keep seeing you.”

adrianna pulled away from rúben’s lock around her, mirth glinted her eyes. “should i just go back to—”

“no,” rúben didn’t hold back as he kissed her. finally. her lips felt like the sweetest victory; for winning the title again, for waiting for her no matter how long it takes. and he devoured every last bit of it, slowly but sure, not wanting to miss any more detail. “you don’t know how long i’ve been praying to hold you like this again.”

“well, you got your wish,” rúben’s dropping bass tone to his voice sent shudders all over her body, both from the voice and the desperation that lingered behind his words. she kissed him once more to show she felt exactly the same and he hummed, as he felt her nipping his bottom lip. “happy birthday, benzinho. i hope you like your present because i don’t know what else to give you if you don’t like it.”

this time, rúben was the one who pulled away first, confusion written all over his face. “what, you think i’m not going to like it?”

“well, look around you, rúben,” adrianna casted a glance everywhere else but him, awkward and so unlike of her. “i can’t possibly compare to—”

“you’re the best thing i could ever ask for, gatinha,” rúben moved up his hands from her waist to cup her face, the sharp jawline contrasted the soft glimmer in the beautiful eyes he loved. “doesn’t matter if it happens on my birthday this year, next year, next decade—i want you and i will always ask for you until the day comes. you’re the reason i start looking forward for tomorrow, knowing you’re awake already when i wake up, and you’re the reason i want to be better everyday so that one day, when the day comes, i can be the man that deserves you entirely.”

“rúben—”

before adrianna could say anything else that described the way his words swayed her world, rúben closed the vacant space between their lips, effectively shutting her up. “i don’t know what’s that pretty mind of yours have been thinking but te amo, meu amor. you’re my love and my life, meu anjo, and i don’t want it any other way.”