#it probably doesn't help how i was in a vulnerable state at that time because my aunt- who has diabetes- is at the hospital

[alexanderlightweight]

Help I have been wandering in the forest of your writing for days now, looking for a specific post, but as much as I’m enjoying myself I can’t find that one post. Directions, please?

It’s the one where Alec wants to move in but Magnus says no because it’s too soon and Alec is upset. Catarina then says to Magnus something to the effect of “But Alec already lives with you???” And then Magnus realizes he essentially subconsciously moved Alec into the loft ages ago and starts making an effort to intentionally make the loft Alex’s home also and they talk and it’s lovely and hits all my hurt/comfort sweet spots.

anon it has been so long, but I am finally here with the answer if you'd still like it. I found it (and you're correct its nearly impossible to find and search words don't really help) so i've also named it home is wherever i'm with you so that it can be found again and easier, but also a link.

i hope you enjoy it again if you see this <3 and I added a little extra of comfort since it took so long to answer and really was a nightmare to find

-lumine

home is wherever i'm with you

Alec blinks awake to sunlight warm on his back and a solid, steady heartbeat under his ear.

It feels like forever since Alec's been able to wake not just in Magnus' bed, but with Magnus and he cuddles closer. True, memories are already surfacing and he's remembering the night before. The panic and then the devastation when he'd been unable to recognize the door and uncertain of his welcome.

Now, Alec can better understand the little changes he saw.

Magnus refit the lair to fit them, both of them.

It warms something in Alec that has him smiling against Magnus' shoulder. Fingers move through his hair, petting him and then scratching at his scalp and Alec frowns when he doesn't remember anything besides hugging Magnus with relief. Because they hadn't been breaking up, Magnus had been moving Alec in. Officially. In one of the most dramatic ways ever and now that it's over, Alec can look on it fondly.

Because Magnus up to his elbows in a dimensional drawer and distraught over how many clothes he destroys in want of Alec was hilarious.

In context and after a lot of sleep.

"You can sleep longer." Magnus murmurs, an almost whisper against his hair and Alec shakes his head. It's rare that they get time like this together, he wants to savor every moment. "Will you eat with me then, before you go back to the Institute?"

Alec struggles with the question for a moment before he wriggles free of Magnus hold. The look of betrayal on Magnus face before he pulls up a mask probably matches the one Alec himself frequently wears when Magnus denies him kisses.

"I'll call out." He finally manages to get out and he's definitely more tired than he thought. Magnus looks horrified by the state of his voice and summons a tall glass of a magenta colored liquid. Protest lingers on his lips but Magnus looks so worried and if Alec isn't careful, he'll blame himself. It's with a sigh that Alec finishes his text message and then takes the drink.

It's not Magnus' fault that Alec was feeling especially vulnerable due to Clave reviews and the fact that a larger wave of shadowhunters is transferring out of his once Institute than in.

It will be that way for a while. Until Alec's proved himself and also his relationship.

However it's difficult for Alec to let down his guard at the Institute anymore. The spaces he's created, full of safety and vitality and rest, they're all centered around and spaces shared with or created by Magnus.

Those spaces don't exist in the Institute.

It's not Magnus' fault that Alec found himself trapped in a storm without a harbor, the lighthouse he'd headed to a mirage rather than reality.

However that's been fixed and Alec understands it better.

Of course Magnus would be hesitant. It's been over a century since he's opened his home up to be shared and that kind of isolation can make ones instincts lean towards insular.

Alec finishes the drink and watches as Magnus snaps the glass away. Perhaps to the same realm of oblivion that all his clothes have gone.

"Better?"

-

Alexander shrugs and instead turns back into a limpet.

Strong arms curl around Magnus and his lap is stolen as Alexander insistently takes up more and more of his space until they're lying entwined.

"I'm sorry I was too much." Magnus barely gets the words out before he flinches from a small pinch to his thigh and he sighs. Bitter amusement fills his heart, "fine. I'm sorry I let my fears and traumas get the best of me. Is that more acceptable?"

Trust Alexander to hold a grudge against something as simple as a phrase that's hurt Magnus a time or two. His darling won't hear of Magnus being 'too much' in his presence.

"If I don't get to self-flagellate you don't get to." Is the grumbled - but much smoother sounded - voice of his beloved. "Stop being mean to my boyfriend. If I'm not allowed to be mean to your boyfriend, you're not allowed to be mean to mine."

Magnus carefully swallows down a snort of laughter and instead presses a kiss to Alexander's hair.

AN:

Magnus to Alec: hey, stop talking shit about my boyfriend. i'm the high warlock of Brooklyn, you don't say shit about my man

Alec: ... I was just commenting on how my performance on the field has been lacking-

Magnus: HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY SHADOWHUNTER

(Alec has learned and is now paying Magnus back)

Alec: fight me (to Magnus about how magnus isn't allowed to be mean to himself)

Magnus: is this foreplay?

Alec: let me monologue how much I love you

Magnus: oh no. this isn't foreplay. this is emotional maturity and I have already filled this weeks quota. CAT!!!!!

Cat: oh no, you brought this on yourself. wallow in your positive emotions magnus. WALLOW.

[thebearme]

I got mad so I projected on to Mike

I FUCKING HATE SCAMMERS

[bettsfic]

one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.

i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."

at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.

it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.

i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.

a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"

knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?

it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"

you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."

[honeybunnyale]

Claiming l J.M.

w.c : 1.8k

t.w.: Dark!, Smut, Breeding kink, Somnophilia, Possessive and Jealous Joel, Tess, Manipulation, description of violence and sexual assault

a/n: Please read warnings for all of my works before reading. 18+ only!

Summary: Joel wants to make sure everyone knew who you belonged to.

It wasn't a relationship, you’d tell yourself. It was mutually beneficial, but it was not a relationship. You just wanted someone to hold you, and he wanted someone to fuck.

The problem was that at times you couldn't help but wonder what he was to Tess, considering they're practically at each other's hip all day, with the exceptions of when you would stay over, of course.

She liked to stare at you. Glaring whenever Joel was around, especially when she opened the door to see you on top of him, nude and obviously just about finished with your, slowly becoming more frequent, sessions.

She sat to watch once. You were bouncing on his lap, his mouth attached to your breast, sucking bruises into your hot, sweaty skin. So passionate neither of you were even clothed or covered in sheets at the very least.

He liked how plump you were. How your soft body jiggled whenever he thrust up into you. He especially loved to watch your supple breast.

He loved your chest. He loved seeing them being squeezed in his hands, the flesh bulging between his fingers as he gripped you tightly.

It wasn't until you were coming down from your high of orgasm that you noticed his eyes flickering behind you. He kissed your shoulder, his arms tightening around your back possessively, almost in a bear hug.

You turned your head slightly, only able to glance behind you because of the restriction of his hold.

She was just sitting at the table, watching as you forced yourself out of his arms to grab the sheets to cover yourself quickly. Joel huffed, returning his grip on your waist and turning you with his back facing Tess, covering you and pressing his heaviness against you, ignoring her despite your panicked state and your rapidly beating heart. 

You couldn't move, you attempted to hide against his chest, attempting to make yourself disappear from her sight. Despite this, you could still hear Tess slam her glass onto the table, standing and leaving as the door shakes the frames.

His palm smooths over your shoulders, his fingers wrapping around the back of your neck gently but still pressing. 

"Ignore her, she's just…” His nose presses against your hair, he adjusts you to lean further against his chest.

”Jealous."

Your heart drops. Everyone knew Tess and Joel. Joel and Tess. She was the brains, and he was the muscle. It was a well-known fact in the QZ to not mess with Tess. 

And you probably just pissed her the fuck off. You lift your head slightly.

"Joel, I don't think-"

He knew what you were doing. You were trying to find a way out. 

"Then don't," he snaps.  

You shake your head sharply, rising from the bed and looking for your clothes on the floor. He grabs your arm, you stop, sighing.

"It's past curfew, stay," he says. 

You slide out of grip; you move to the door before he could try to persuade you.

"I know where to go. I'll be fine."

The door slams shut, and he groans, pressing his palms against his eyes. 

…

You wake up to knocks at your door. He's been doing this for two weeks, knocking at different hours of the day, lingering for about thirty minutes, tapping the wood three times and waiting for you to answer.

He calls your name sometimes, it’s always quiet. As if he were hoping his soft tone would lure you out. He doesn't want to make a scene with your neighbors. 

It wouldn’t matter even if he did, no one messed with you. They knew you were something to Joel, and maybe to Tess considering she glared whenever someone brought you up.

But now that you weren't making your usual appearances walking with him around town, people were starting to talk, they were starting to target you as someone vulnerable again. 

You sit on your bed, your leg bouncing in anxiety as he knocks. You've had some men come up to you the day before, one of them slapped your ass, another making a passing remark about being Joel's bitch as another had gripped your arm so tight you bruised. 

It was scary. Usually you were ignored, they even cowered with Joel and Tess at your side, often accompanying you to your shifts.

It was almost as if it angered them more. The thought that they would get fucked if they even came close to you. They were more aggressive because of that. 

You hide the bruises on your arm before opening the door, pulling your sleeve down your forearm. 

He immediately does a once over. You roll your eyes, stepping aside as he strides into your small apartment.

He was angry, his hands at his hips and leaning towards you in scolding. 

"Are you okay?" he asks gruffly.

"Yes."

He gives you a look. You pretended to be confused.

"I don't know what-" you start.

He huffs, and his jaw tightens. 

"Someone told Tess and Tess told me."

You just noticed his hands. His knuckles were bruised, skin was broken and red.

"Shit-Joel, you're bleeding."

You tend to his hand. You sit face to face, his forehead resting on the crown of your head as you hunch over to wrap along his palm and knuckles. 

"I think I killed one of 'em," he mumbles.

You stop your movement, only for a second. Your heart hammers in your chest. You didn’t know if your heart stopped beating out of disgust or flattery. Could have been both. 

He continues. 

"Face was barely recognizable."

You sigh, sitting up and shaking your head. You didn't like to get into their business. You didn't like when he went into the details of the latest smuggle, how much of FEDRA he's gotten addicted to the opiates he trades. 

How he's killed, beaten and threatened innocent lives for the sake of getting more ration cards and keeping himself out of trouble.

His hands find your shoulders, caressing up to your neck to make you look up at him.

"I know, I know," he utters softly.

He leans down slowly. You let him. His mouth is hot against your throat. He kisses down your neck. His hands are already working to unbutton your shirt.

He pulls you to his lap, landing you right over the erection in his pants.

"Fuck, I've missed you," he groans.

You did too.

…

You snore in your sleep, it was sweet and all, but it woke him up. He stares at you, the way your chest rises and falls in rhythm, how your hands twitch to grab hold of something.

You stop snoring with a retort, you adjust by nuzzling your face against the pillow. 

His hand smooths over your soft stomach for a couple of minutes, making sure you were still in deep sleep.  His fingers press against the chunkiness of your thighs, sliding between them and to your folds.

He's woken you up with cock before, his mouth too. You've always liked it. 

He presses his body closer, his erection meeting the apex of your thighs. 

You moan quietly, your hips twitching back and forth slightly. Your eyes were closed tightly, your hand finding his side.

He stills and you repeat your motion, seemingly while sleeping. Your moans were muffled and quiet, only guided by your breaths.

You were a heavy sleeper; he noticed the first time. You only ever wake up when you orgasmed or were on the verge of one. 

You also humped the mattress in your sleep. Once he was woken up as you were laid on your stomach, gripping onto your pillowcase and moving your hips in random intervals.

You made yourself cum and were embarrassed when you realized he was watching.

You gasp when his cock spears into you. He lifted your thigh onto his hip to open you wider. Your cunt was drooling over his cock, sucking and urging him to cum inside you.

He was pent up, stressed with the need to protect you. Bitter in the way you ignored him, causing more problems to arise.

They thought you weren’t important to him anymore, that they could do anything to you without consequences. They thought you weren’t his anymore.

He palms at your breast.

His thoughts shift to the time he was delirious in alcohol and drugs, murmuring into your skin as he fucked into you.

He whispered how much he wanted your breasts to swell and grow heavy with milk for his baby. He imagines you now with a cute little belly, walking around, practically proclaiming that you were his.

He was almost to his limit, he started to pull out ever so slightly, your brows furrow.

He shouldn’t, he can’t. You’re not prepared for a baby. His thrusts become shallow, his cock aches with rising pressure. It’s dangerous for a child, but you’d be such a perfect mothe-

He groans, closing his eyes tightly. His ass flexes, his thighs tense. His balls ache as they spill. The image of you on your back, belly swollen, legs spread for him threw him over the edge.

His thumb runs over your clit quickly, helping you along as he shallowly thrusts his cum into you. You let out a sharp moan. Your pussy was squeezing his overstimulated cock so deliciously as you orgasmed in your sleep that he groaned, and you opened your eyes.

You breathe heavily, moaning as your hand instinctively goes to the arm around your hip.

“Joel?”

He hums, his fingers caressing over your cheek.

He shushes you when you move.

“Fuck, Joel, did I…?”

He kisses you. He’s never done that before. He kisses you breathless, his mouth opening wide, his tongue sliding against yours and his hand pressing the back of your head forward into his.

He groans when you start to reciprocate, your fists wound around his hair, lightly tugging as he nips your lips.

He lets up with a final peck. Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly parted. He cups your face gently. 

“I’ll take care of you.”

“Joel-“

“Me and Tess, we’re gonna make sure you two are safe.”

His palm caressed your stomach. You shifted and you felt his cock inside of you, softening.

“You and Tess?”

You were disoriented. You were shocked.

“She’s soft on you…” he whispers.

His hands go to your ass, jiggling it and squeezing.

“Thinks you have a cute ass,” he teases.

“What?”

He eyes your arm, you wince when he grazes over it. He purses his lips.

“She cares about you almost as much as me, you should have seen the look in her eye when we found the boys who bothered you.”

He pulls you into him. You were still trembling from your climax, maybe a bit of something else.

Tess was running through your mind. Her actions before never seemed nice. You thought she didn’t like you.

“You’re ours. Everyone should know it now. I only got one of them, she finished the rest.”

You don’t like it when he talks about these things. If you didn’t see the men around the corner of the street, you would have known what had happened on your own.

You guess it was just their way of showing they cared.

--------------------

Thank you for reading guys! Comments and Reblogs are motivational, please let me know your thoughts! Also, I am not beefing with my boyfriend anymore, god bless.

-Alejandra 💋 🐇

[readychilledwine]

Howl at the Moon

Summary - Your daughter's way of exploring the world and expressing herself is a bit unorthodox

Warning - Motherhood and children

A/N - I wanted to give you all a glimpse into where I've been with life using our favorite girl dad. I really should take the time to make a GirlDad!Cassian Masterlist

✨️Master Masterlist ✨️Cassian Masterlist ✨️

“Sorcha! No,” Rhysand's voice was distressed, even if he was laughing. “Baby, Uncle Rhys said- Ow!” Your eyes shut, knowing what probably had happened. Your 16-month-old was a lot the past month. Her world was currently being explored with her mouth, and unfortunately, that meant her people, too. 

Her cry started a few moments later. Cassian seemed to sense the stress your daughter was going through and ran into the house, ready to be daddy. You followed him into the living room where Rhysand was trying to comfort your daughter. Her little wings were slumped, his hand in her curly dark hair. She was yelling more than sobbing. 

“I'm sorry. She bit my knee,” Rhys started. “I yelled-”

“Yelped,” you corrected. 

Rhysand shot you a dirty look, one that had you not been his sister would have scared you. “I gave a manly yelp,” he looked down at Sorcha. “I think it scared her.”

"No. She is upset because she was told no," Cassian got down to her level, taking her into his arms, “Hey, it's okay. You're okay. Being told no is normal, baby. It's okay."

You only stared at Rhysand as her howling began, your brother caught very off guard by the sad little “ah-woos” now coming from your daughter. “She does this lately,” Cassian explained to Rhys. “My little wolf.” 

Rhys was looking between you and Cassian, slightly confused. Nyx, your lovely nephew, had never gone through this feral phase. He had always been refined whereas Sorcha in all her spoiling was, well, sometimes just wild.

The problem was Cassian encouraging her. 

She howled, he howled with her. She bit, he gently nibbled her back. She yelled or screeched, well, he did the same. He matched her energy like it had become his own purpose in life. As if she was his very soul turned into this beautiful creature of playfulness and joy. 

He gave her a soft ah-woo back, making her begin to giggle and howl even more. “That's my happy happy girl,” Cassian picked her up, hugging her as he walked her outside. “Let's go run off some energy, baby.”

You moved to your brother, checking his knee for injury. “Last week, she bit my cheek when we were cuddling and made an almost growling noise,” you stated. Your eyes met his, your brother's dark brow was cocked. “I know. I know it's inappropriate. I am battling Cassian's enabling and he doesn't tell her no like I do. It's why he's the favorite."

"I don't think he's her favorite. She still watches for you like a hawk and screams in excitement anytime you walk into a room," Rhysand chuckled as he made you stand with him and then walked with you toward the patio door.

“You know what I see,” his eyes were now where Cassian was slightly chasing Sorcha, her loud belly laughter so innocent and unapologetically loud. “I see a father who loves his daughter and is playing with her. I see my niece, getting to explore the world most naturally to her. I see parents working to ensure their only child is raised with confidence. Even if she is a bit spoiled. She's frankly too damn cute not to spoil with those dark eyes and hair and that little food belly.”

Cassian had playfully caught Sorcha, tossing her in the air just high enough to make your stomach twist with worry. Your voice held a vulnerability that Rhysand had grown used to you using lately, “Do you think we're failing her?”

“Because she likes to chew? Cauldron, no. It's her instinct, sister,” Rhysand laughed. “She can't help it. It's soothing for her, it's how she's learning. Has the biting others slowed down?”

You nodded, “Its mainly Cass and I now. And evidently you.”

Rhysand hummed, “So the fae she feels safest with. I should be honored then, being loved so much by her she wants to be herself with me.” Soft blue eyes looked at you, the coloring almost violet. “You're doing great.”

Cassian was lying in the grass with Sorcha now, her little body on top of his. He had a wing up enough to block the sun from her eyes, his shut as his baby girl got comfy and let out a content and dramatic sigh. Her energy seemed to be burned out for now. She bit into Cassian's shirt, almost using it as a pacifier. Cassian gave her another soft howl, and Sophia dropped his shirt to echo him.

“You're doing great,” Rhysand repeated, his voice tight and eyes watering.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp @itsswritten @milswrites @littlest-w01f

[winningmymind]

Aaron is the twin that catches colds more than Andrew. This doesn't help when Aaron is now a college student and most of his classmates keep passing around a stomach bug or runny/stuffy noses cuz premeds must suffer. It irritates him that he's supposed to be the doctor, but Andrew (immune system strong as hell 😤) is usually the one that nurses Aaron back to health.

Nicky used to try to do it when he 1st took the role of guardian, but he just ends up getting whatever Aaron's got, so Andrew bans him from helping less he have to take care of 2 family members and Nicky's more annoying than Aaron while sick.

Aaron is so loopy from being ill or from medicine, so he misses calling out how gentle Andrew is wiping sweat from his forehead, getting him soup or other easy meals light for his sensitive stomach, just doing things for Aaron that Tilda never did so Aaron usually fended for himself hoping he took the right medicine for children doses or pushed through feeling like shit at school until his fever would break on its own.

Andrew watches Aaron babble half nonsensical words, cuz Aaron is chatty when sick, and Andrew indulges in having longer conversations with a sick Aaron because sick Aaron may speak gibberish, but in between the gibberish he's more honest.

"I don't wanna be alone." Aaron whines, feeling sad that he's sick and thinking of the times Tilda never checked on him.

"You're not." Andrew means that and handing Aaron a bottle of water.

"You'll stay with me?" Aaron asks all hopeful.

"I'm with you." Andrew hands Aaron more tissue to catch whatever phlegm he coughs up.

And then, like always, Aaron heals anew and barely remembers his fugue state of wanting Andrew to stick around and Andrew won't ever tell his twin that he gets very vulnerable when out of it.

"Or maybe," Neil suggests to Andrew. Both of them on the roof. "He only gets that open cuz it's you."

"He doesn't remember shit."

"Yeah, well apparently his subconscious feels safe enough to tell you what Aaron tries not to say." Neil shrugs.

"Stop studying me and Aaron like we're zoo animals." Andrew threatens, there's no heat to it.

"I'm just stating the obvious that you two are hellbent on being dumb about." Neil smiles and gosh does Andrew hate this no filter redhead of his.

But the words wrap tight around Andrew like a weighted blanket. How could he have missed it? He's not dangerous anymore. He's not feared. Aaron thinks Andrew's safe. Even if it's probably only when he's sick.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

the temptation to write the fic that's been floating in my mind for a while...I think as early as before the war.

"You're overwhelmed."

and it's either Al-Haitham or Jing Yuan there to gently guide you through the whole mess.

Jing Yuan would probably take a quick scan of everything, predict your to do list based off of it, then determine the best course of action for your health. In like the span of 1 or 2 minutes at most.

Jing Yuan's the guy that would sit on the floor with you, take your hands in his, and when that causes the dam to finally burst (which is a problem because you're too busy to cry right now) would in a soothing tone, walk you through the order of what needs to happen. He'll help you figure out your priorities all while rubbing soothing circles into your skin, and will take on the parts of your load that he can.

You need food? He'll take care of it. Things are a mess? He'll get things picked up enough that its not stressful anymore. You don't have any more clean clothes? He's got that covered too.

When it comes to delegation the man knows what's up. He's got a solid war plan, and with Yanqing's assistance he's managed to complete at least half of the tasks that he can take off your hands, and the rest are to be completed likely within the next hour or few hours.

Expect a warm meal and soothing tea after you get showered, because that was the first thing he had you do. See you'd been busy enough to neglect your hygiene enough to stress you out too. So when you're feeling notably refreshed after your shower, and your meal, and seeing as the domestic tasks have been taken care of while you took care of your hygiene, your stress levels, are much lower.

He absolutely will let you bend his ear over all that's stressing you out, especially if you're working on something with a deadline and you're stuck. Will be someone you can bounce ideas off of.

When things finally calm down enough that you have the time to cry, he will hold you as you sob it all out. As awful as the situation is, he's relieved that you're getting it out of your system via tears. Of course if you start apologizing for needing help, he'll hug you tighter and set you straight. He is honored to be someone that you can be vulnerable with and is genuinely delighted to be able to support you...he is your husband.

____________________

Al-Haitham, similarly, takes you and your surroundings in:

the research papers strewn around you

the multitude of half-drunk cups: tea, water, juice, herbal tea

the crumbs of food that likely wasn't enough to sustain you

the piles of papers and books with all sorts of random objects in them to mark the pages for your research

the sink

your laundry basket

your dull hair, and disheveled pyjamas/housewear

your exhausted expression

It doesn't take him more than 2 minutes as well to figure out the ideal course of action. He also decides that you starting with a shower would be for the best.

He has to debate you to get you up, choosing not to touch you in your overwhelmed state. Because you don't have time to shower, you have a deadline. You don't have time for all these things. However using logic and reason, he somehow managed to get your to comply despite your very compromised state.

Al-Haitham as well, despite not liking to take on too much work, will, for your sake, delegate all tasks that don't require your specific attention to himself and get through them efficiently. He's systematic about it: first he ensures you have food to eat, after which he ensures that your living space is relaxing and comfortable by cleaning and organizing things according to your own preferences (yes he remembers). Your laundry is also taken care of alongside his. The cups, the dishes in the sink and those distributed throughout the house as well will be collected and washed.

Depending on how long your shower is he'll have everything done or at the very least the food and initial sweep of the area. He makes sure to have food with you, so you feel less alone. He will do those dishes too.

You're not having any coffee. Any tea he gives you is herbal. Bibi* used to say chamomile was good for sleep, maybe it'll help you relax. (Bibi is what Iraqis call their grandmothers, and given he's named after an Iraqi physicist).

With Al-Haitham he can also assist with your research and your paper, so he does help with providing sources and information for your paper. In fact you can rant to him and like the scribe he is, he'll take notes, and provide advice.

Will hug you if you ask. Will be your body double to help you get through things. He might even sacrifice some sleep to be by your side for a little longer if you're working late, but not too long, he'll eventually turn in, and encourage you to turn in too.

Tumblr MasterList Here | Ao3 here

Please feel free to leave me a comment or feedback. I may actually turn this into a fic if I get the time!

[xxastreascornerxx]

There was a conversation in one of the most recent episodes on TSAMS where Moon explicitly states "I'll let Solar tell you about that in extreme autistic detail"

YES.

As an autistic person, looking at Solar (or even Eclipse and Lunar; other Eclipses) everything looks normal.

I put on the masking mentality and OH MY GOD??!!?!!!

Solar, an extremely monotone man who sits there and finds comfort people, getting to know them and attaching every good thing to that person. At one point it was Nexus, then Nebula.

I'm not going to get into how AUTISTIC Nebula and Jack are but Solar is definitely a main example in how the show likes representing Autism or neurodivergent tendencies.

Solar when he lost Jack was so upset that he shut down and hardly reacted, hyper focusing on getting his son back that when he was told to stop and think on his actions the major flood of emotions was mentally debilitating. Then again that fueled his focus for the creator.

Solar's reactions to Nebula are nothing short of business proposals, they talk as if they're contractually obligated to hang out yet you can tell they really like each other. The way Solar sees Nebula and immediately knows "well she probably wants to play her favorite game" is something undeniably AUTISTIC. He withholds information for the next interaction without making it seem like he's focusing on every little detail about her.

He knows things about Jack that sure, are obvious, but it's difficult to learn from something you created so he let's Jack tell him things or bonds with him in simple and entertaining ways like watching TV or playing games.

Lunar is hyper emotional, the complete opposite of Solar. He uses his emotions in his everyday life and conforms to what makes other people the happiest.

Though we don't get to see much of it anymore, the way Eclipse and Lunar spoke is as though they were falling back into old habits while still keeping it healthy, both trauma and autism traits. They push each other away and keep each other at an arms reach, but they want a relationship.

Lunar with children is me with children, fine with them until it's too much. It's why he can't run the daycare but can babysit Jack and Dazzle just fine. It's why he gets along with Moon who; quite literally also possesses autistic traits.

Lunar has very specific people he's comfortable with but has no problem branching out to meet people, he'll always shrink back into his family though.

Eclipse, my belothed little angry autistic entity. Eclipse has what I like to call "aggressive autism" it stems from trauma and anxiety.

Eclipse wants to be close to people, wants to have that relationship he did with Puppet, but physically can't in fear of people dying or leaving him once he finally gets into routine.

Yes, Eclipse has a routine. No, it isn't 100% healthy.

Eclipse is an insomniac, he stays up all night calculating solutions and trying DESPERATELY to find answers. Just like Solar, when he gets the time the emotions get to him and he falls apart.

He's rude to people, whether it's telling people to fuck off or that he doesn't need them to care for him it always ends up something like this.

"Fuck you"

"I'm not going anywhere"

"I don't need you to monitor me like I'm a baby"

"I'm not, I just think you need company"

"I don't want your pity"

(Not an accurate conversation, just vibe based)

But he never tells them to leave unless he's absolutely overwhelmed.

Speaking of, Mimic. When that happened and Puppet was trying to help him he was extremely overwhelmed, trauma had resurfaced and he was scared. He wanted anyone who could see him vulnerable to get away, yet he seemed almost to want them there.

Eclipse needs people, but refuses it because of the way he was created and treated.

CLIPSEY. OH CLIPSEY I LOVE YOU

The most recent Eclipse, fem nights Clipsey.

She is the ICON OF AUTISM. The first time we meet her she's playing what she deems a harmless prank on Sunny, pretending to be Roxas just to mess around. She doesn't seem apologetic because she doesn't understand the amount of pain it could cause.

Immediately after she changes focus to the portal and goes to a dimension that I can only describe to be her hyperfixation.

She's extremely sporadic and monotone but you can tell she's genuine. She threatens people without remorse and pulls the people she was raised with closer to her.

She LOVES her sisters, sure do I know what happened between her and Luna? No, but I know she loves Sunny and Moonie.

This girl is threatening men for Sunny, actively repulsed or oblivious to romantic gestures, and overall very upbeat despite her mischievous side.

She's reliable when people need her and refuses to decline if it's genuinely an emergency.

So yeah, this is my autism analysis on the Eclipses!

Ps. Ruin is autistic asf but shhhh

[admirationandromantics]

Hyper-dependent

Okay, this was a request, and I feel like I'm slowly getting my flow back. Sorry to say, but I have deleted some of the requests because I just didn't feel motivated to do them. This doesn't mean that I'll stop! I appreciate every one I get, and I hope to receive more as time goes on.

This one is quite angsty, and deals with Josh's trauma after the mountain. Yes, you are basically emotional support. You're dating, he feel bad (of course) and nightmares regularly haunt him. There's also smut because of the request (and some people cope that way I guess). Anyways, enjoy <3

The events of the cabin were long over, and luckily, everyone survived. I don’t know how, and I didn’t think we would, but somehow, it happened. Josh was stuck down in the mines for a while. Days… I wasn’t allowed to search for him with the professionals, but I was the first one who got to see him at the hospital. His parents arrived shortly after as well, and they were glad that he was okay. He moved home for a couple of weeks, but came back in with me when the health professionals told him it was possible. I couldn’t wait. They told me it would be a lot of work, and sometimes, he has really bad days. I understood their concern, but I wanted him, I wanted him back. And maybe getting back to the usual routine would do him good? 

They were right. The days that were bad were horrible. Hours upon hours of crying and screaming. He exhausted himself at the end, finally falling into my arms and falling asleep. I knew he still mourned his sisters, but the monsters upon that mountain made him terrified. Sometimes he hid a knife under the bed, paranoid that they’d come for him. I still did my best to help him, even though I struggled myself. These events affected all of us after all. That’s what made it worse, I couldn’t even talk to them about it. They struggled as well, and many just wanted to put the events behind them. 

***

“I fucked up” Josh whispers beside me. It’s the middle of the night, and due to his violent sleep, I haven’t been able to relax. 

“It’s okay” I put my hand on his cheek, caressing carefully and grounding him. The most important thing is that he stays grounded, that he doesn’t do worse in a panicky state. 

“What if they come for me? What if they come for you?” 

“They won’t, I promise” 

He looks up at me, worried and concerned. He doesn’t seem that bad now. More like in a processing phase. He just needs some reassurance. 

“Are you sure” 

I smile, grabbing the hem of my t-shirt. Well, Josh’s shirt, but it was the perfect sleeping wear. If he needed reassurance, then he would get it. After all, I was not supporting the whole ‘being prepared for death’-thing he had going. I could sleep in a vulnerable position, confident that nothing would happen while I did. I mean, it makes sense in my head. 

“I’m so sure that I’ll sleep naked. Know why?” 

“Because they’re not coming tonight?” 

“Exactly” 

I fully take off the top, before leaning down on his chest and pulling the covers over us. His heart is beating rapidly, and I rub soft circles over his bicep, trying to calm him. 

“You got hurt” 

“But I’m fine now” 

“I hurt you, I can never forgive myself for that” his voice breaks, silence following. We’ve been through this thing many times, but I understand why he isn’t letting it go. If I hurt him like that, the guilt would probably kill me. 

“You couldn’t have known what was on that mountain” 

“But I hurt you, I planned to hurt you”

“And I forgive you”

I lean upwards, giving him a small kiss. We could have this conversation a million times, and a million times I would say the same thing. I love him, and I forgive him. 

He turns, laying over me and capturing my lips again. This time it’s deeper, more passionate and rough. I break it off. 

“Josh, I don’t think we should do this in your state” 

“Please, just let me feel you” 

I oblige, pulling him down on me again. I caress his back, feeling the tensed up muscles under my fingertips. He needs to relax, to take a breath. His hand grabs my upper hips, groping harshly. The pain makes me wince, and he uses the opportunity to put his tongue in my mouth, exploring my insides. I already feel myself getting wet. We’ve been having sex, on his good days at least, and there weren’t many of them nowadays. 

He grabs hold of my thigh, pulling my leg up as he grinds against me. He’s incredibly hard, and I wonder why. We just talked about the mountain, about me being hurt, about me being in pain… 

Our breaths line up, both of our pulses skyrocketing. He kisses down my chest, stomach and my inner thighs. He leaves rough bites, red marks which will probably last for days. Before the incident, we’d always been rough and hard when being intimate with each other, but after, he’d been much more careful, treating me like I was made of porcelain, afraid that a small nail mark would hurt me. Now, he goes against everything we’d been doing for the last months, and I love it. 

I look down, only to be met with his piercing gaze as he slowly drags my underwear off, throwing it on the floor. He holds the intense eye contact while lowering himself, his tongue coming in contact with my folds. I let out a breath, whining from his small touches. He’s barely touching me, knowing that the teasing will get me even wetter. 

“Josh…” 

He doesn’t answer, instead putting more pressure on me, resulting in more pleasurable sounds escaping my lips. I feel my core building up, body getting warmer, and nipples getting harder. I’m right on the edge, begging to be let free when he stops. I whine from the sudden lack of contact. 

He drags off his boxers, revealing himself. He doesn’t give me time to take him in, instead leaning over me, hands roaming my body. I’m wondering if he’s falling apart, if he wants to stop. I sit up, hand going to his face. Before I’m able to reach him, both of my ankles are gripped, tugging me down, leading to my back slamming down on the mattress again. I yelp, unsure about his next step. 

But he doesn’t waste time. His dick is running up and down my folds, begging to be let inside. He slams into me, everything at once. I give out a loud moan, a mixture of pain and pleasure surrounding me as he starts moving. He goes almost all out before slamming in again, making low grunt sounds as he breathes. The rhythmic pattern of his movements are mirrored by the sounds coming out of me. Endless tunes of moans and whimpers filling the dark bedroom. 

My heat starts building up again, taking me to the edge. I grip the sheets as I try to hold on a little more, wanting to come together. My body bounces back and forth on the mattress, my hand going over my head to stop it from slamming into the bedframe. He massages my thighs roughly, causing me to fall over. I come all over his cock whilst feeling high on ecstasy. My legs automatically squeeze around his torso, and it doesn’t take long for him to come after. He fills me up, slowly going out before falling on top of me. 

His face is wet, tears flowing as he nuzzles into the crook of my neck. He tries to mask the whimpers and hulks coming out, but ultimately fails. I put my arms around him, one going into his hair. I stroke up and down his back, hoping to calm him. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, trying to calm myself after my high. 

“Please just let me feel you a bit more” he manages to say, arms going around my waist, hugging and holding me down. I kiss his forehead, fingers still combing through his hair. 

“I’m here Josh. I’ll always be here”

[pearlescentparade]

OK PL SENDING MOINE IM GLAD I HAD IT PRE TYPED .

Noobador fluff request where player just has to relearn how to fight after chapter 3 because the ghostwalker weakened them a ton.. so they just.. go to Noobador while embarrassed about it. bantering ouuuhhhhhh.... Maybe some resting and focus on self-care..

-🍙

on your feet 🥊 noobador x reader fluff 💝

your linked sword weighs heavy in your hand.

almost like you haven't picked it up for a long time. but you know well that that's not the case, it couldn't be, you literally just used it in the battle for the ghostwalker.. you've swung it with ease ever since you embarked on this journey up until you collected that sword, at that point it was like an extension of your arm with how well it worked in tandem with you.

and yet, it now felt like it had the weight of the world, pulling your aching arms downward to the floor. it almost strains them.

the makeshift training dummy looks down on you, pitiful. if it could come alive, it'd laugh its straw stuffing out at you. the damn thing looks just about untouched, anyone would've thought that you only started training now if they happened to walk in right at this moment. but it's been an hour, and you've barely dented it with anything that somewhat resembles a scratch.

nevertheless, you brace yourself to take another shot. deep down, you're more than aware that it's foolish of you to keep trying when you know it won't work. but even deeper down, there's that tiny sliver of naive hope that a miracle will occur, that you'll cut down that stupid dummy and prove to yourself that you're fine.

despite your shaking hands, you steady your legs and raise the sword as best as you can (said best being slightly above your navel) to cut the dummy down. you swallow down your saliva, your doubt, to heal your dry and tight throat. your eyes, aflame with resolution, fix on your target, viciously glaring at it through your brows. the goofy eyes drawn on its paper bag head innocently reciprocate the stare.

down comes your blade, with all of your strength put behind it. and in that mighty swing...

the sword lightly drags diagonally across the dummy's torso.

it doesn't even pierce the fiber of its skin of sack. you basically just tenderly caressed it like it was your lover.

your eye twitches. you aggressively exhale, like a bull seeing red.

frustrated, you simply drop the sword, carelessly letting the metal clatter on the ground. you would've thrown it, but your arms are screaming at you enough. they seem to calm down now that you've let go, though.

you sigh, the unfortunate truth dawning on you: you're not in the condition to fight or continue on your quest. but what are you to do if not that?? it's been some time since you've done anything that didn't pertain to your quest.

...as sad as it sounded, you could really use a friend. what was the saying, misery enjoys company? yea, you'd love some of that right now, because you're downright miserable. and besides, speaking in terms of street smarts, it's always smart to be with someone you trust if you're vulnerable.

but who?

griefer is the absolute last person you want to see in this state, immediate no. he'd probably hiss at and make fun of you, and it'd piss you off more because you wouldn't be able to beat him up at the moment and it'd only make him laugh at you more.

you couldn't bear to bother kyoko when she's out exploring. besides, you don't really know where she is. for all you know, she could be towns away! the spontaneous nature of adventurers...

red and blue will tire you out for a fact. they're good kids, but they're kids. they will not let you have peace.

out of everyone, only one person really appeals to you as the best to go to.

or, he did at the time.

but now that you're standing face to face with him, you can't help but feel a bit ashamed of your state. despite having finished fighting a non-sentient and still object that had absolutely no way of damaging you, you look just as poor as you feel: disheveled hair, dirty clothing, and every limb quivering. and though noobador literally answers the door in a loose tank top and sweats, he looks miles beyond proper compared to you.

"...it's you."

noobador's eyes widen ever so slightly upon seeing you at his front door as he states the obvious. it makes you shrink even further into yourself than you already are, avoiding any possible eye contact with him as you mindlessly twiddle with your fingers.

was now not a good time? he doesn't sound particularly ecstatic to see you.. no, are you serious? it's just you, he doesn't owe you an excited greeting, don't be so full of yourself- maybe he's tired. or just stunned. you don't look too good, it's probably that. yea, you'd be shocked if you saw yourself too.

"..yeah. it is." your ears feel warm as you breathlessly mutter, borderline inaudible. meanwhile, your eyes find the hinges of his door incredibly captivating. how wonderfully brassy and rusted they are. oh my, they look recently oiled. yes, much more interesting than the man standing in front of you.

noobador takes one glance over at your shaking form, scrutinizing, as if carefully considering how he should approach you. then, he leans in and holds a hand up behind his ear to block out all other noise. "whaaatt? i can't hear you if you're gonna murmur, kid."

at the first chance he gets to tease you, noobador pounces for it, the sound of a smirk weaseling its way into his tone. you're funny like this, he thinks. it's not usually in his nature to torment others, but it's not usually in yours to be so skittish, so cut him some slack.

you squint up at him, looking directly at him. finally, noobador thinks.

"i- just repeated what you said, you don't need to hear it louder!" luckily for you, noobador's lighthearted mocking reminds you to be casual. part of your anxiety quells as you scowl at him. on the other hand, you're only growing more upset when he simply laughs. though you suppose you can't be too mad, given that you're not shaking like a twig anymore.

he then leans on the doorframe, quirking a curious brow with the intention of getting down to business. "well? you need something? i'm not too keen on having a staring contest on my porch all day."

huffing, you roll your eyes, "yea, i was getting to that." after taking a moment to mentally prepare yourself, you exhale. "okay, this might be kinda out of the blue, but can i please just chill in your place? i.. i need a break and i j- uagh!"

abruptly, noobador's large hand pushes you inside by your back, and you stumble over your feet a little from the force. before you can whip around to squabble with him again, he's already moving to the kitchen, leaving you standing in his living room dumbfounded.

"make yourself at home. red and blue should be out for most of the day, so we won't be having any disturbances." his gruff voice still rings clear, even when muted slightly from the next room over.

any witty remarks you wanted to make die on your tongue, as you sit on the couch in resigned defeat. from what you've seen of him, noobador is that 'what i say, goes' type, so it really shouldn't surprise you at this point. though, when you're the boss and parent of two children, it's impossible to not be a bit pushy.

what does surprise you is how unbelievably soft this couch is. despite its somewhat worn appearance making it look like it was picked off of the side of the road, you can't help but sink yourself deeper into it. you bring your legs up and lay on your side, nuzzling your head on a pillow next to the arm of the couch.

now that you're resting, the exhaustion creeps onto your feeble body, even more so with your newfound weakness. you could almost fall asleep right here.. and your heavy, drooping eyelids definitely agree.

"taking 'make yourself at home' a bit literally, aren't we?" you immediately jolt up. or, would've- if not for noobador's hand once again playing an unstoppable force and pushing you back to laying down. as fast as you got up, you're back down, square one.

with his other hand, noobador gently sets down a steaming cup on his coffee table with a light clink. "woah- take it easy, kid. i'm just messing with ya. sleep on my couch all you want, i don't care."

when he sees your curious eyes naturally draw to the cup, he elaborates, "oh, this? 's green tea. what, you want some??" you nod, a little too enthusiastically. with the terrible day you've had, noobador almost snorts at how your eyes practically light up.

but noobador brings his hand over the top of the cup and scoots it closer to himself, safeguarding his rightfully-earned pick-me-up. "then get up and go make some yourself, since you're so comfortable now." you shoot him a deadly glare, narrowing your eyes. what was the point of offering, then?! and how evil, to tell you to get up when your body has basically already thrown in the towel..!

he holds your gaze for a short while, before he huffs amusedly, deciding he's had his healthy dose of poking fun of you today anyway. "fine, ya got me. it's for you. don't get any on my couch or i'll knock you out."

he moves to carefully hand it to you. clearly experienced and traumatized from his own kids, he takes the liberty of warning you about the scorching bottom and facing the handle towards you so as to encourage you to hold the cup from there.

"yea, yea.. thanks."

you bring it to your face and lightly blow, before cautiously sipping. a rush of warmth seeps into your bones and blooms in your blood, and you can't fight smiling against the rim of the cup. even if it's a placebo effect tricking your mind, you'd like to think it's helping you regain some of your strength back.

noobador lays back against the couch. "you young punks sure like to throw yourselves in danger, huh? hardly my age, but doing double my work.. you'll get wrinkles earlier, going on like that."

you pout, "eww, i'm not gonna get wrinkly like you.. it's just this lil hiccup and i'll be back in business!"

"even small injuries can flare up into something bigger. take it from me," a reminiscent look glosses over his eyes, no doubt thinking back to his own moments of carelessness. and there's lots to spare, with the years of experience he's had.

"wow~ inspirational," you snicker, completely unserious. but you're listening, peering at the side of his head as you take another long sip.

he groans, bringing his hands up to rub his temples. "just take care of yourself, kid. 'cause nobody's gonna do it for you."

"really? 'cause you are." the mental image of noobador constantly looking after you like some kind of housewife makes you giggle. if only! you'd take breaks waaaaay more often.

he suddenly slaps his hands on his knees and pushes off of them to get up. "what i'm hearing is that you don't want anymore tea."

wildly, you gasp, crying after him as he walks off into a different room. "what- noo! fine, you're right! i'm sooorryyy, come backk!!" your hand half-heartedly reaches out for his back, before you let it fall on the arm of the sofa.

though it doesn't take long before noobador is back, this time with a comically huge and thick blanket in his hands. did he get that from his bedroom...?

before you can comment, he throws it on you, immediately engulfing you in fluffy darkness. while you vehemently fight to find the exit, grappling and tussling underneath the blanket, you can hear his haughty laugh from outside of your prison. jerk.

by the time you pop your head out, he's already reclaiming his seat next to you. "there. now you can get your precious beauty sleep."

"and what about my pillow?"

he rolls his eyes, mutters under his breath about how 'spoiled' you are, then stretches out his arm behind your head. you grin in victory, laying your head back against his firm muscle. you are spoiled, but he indulges you, so who's really to blame here?

surrounded by warmth, everything begins to feel heavy again. fuzz coalesces in your senses, and before you drift off, you think you feel yourself being pulled towards another warm body.

(parade postscript: exams aint got SHIT ON ME oooff this one turned out way longer than i intended in classic pp fashion but can you blame a writer for liking writing!!!!!)

[kaliforniahigh]

now you've got nowhere to run, now you've got nowhere to go - n.s.

Zombie Apocalypse AU | Nurse!Reader and BestFriend!Noah. The story is set on February 25, 2024. Roughly 2 years after the start of the apocalypse. Check summary here!

I'd like to say that this does not mean that I'm back to writing. I just felt so bad because this story was sitting in my drafts, so I decided to finish and post it. I'm still not writing for Bad Omens or anyone else!

Warning: a zombie apocalypse, duh. Curse words, reader has to kill an infected dog, graphic descriptions of decaying bodies, reader alludes to suicide but doesn't elaborate on it, probably innacurate descriptions of a medical treatment, mentions of vomiting, major character death (I'm sorry), no happy ending, heartbreak. I'm sorry if I missed any warnings.

WC: 6.6k words.

You were used to walking around alone.

Walking around alone meant there was less risk of being spotted.

It's been roughly 730 days since you've been alone. As you walk around the streets, or, what was left of them, you think about how life was before hell began.

You catch yourself thinking about mundane life often. When you weren't thinking about what to eat next, how to find water and keeping yourself away from any doors and windows, so no creatures would grab you - you've had that experience before - you thought about how your life was before all of this.

You specifically thought about the people you had in your life.

You thought about your parents, and how they lived in another state. You never spoke to them again, ever since the cellphone towers stopped working and communication was made impossible. Sometimes, you thought about walking all the way from California to Virginia just to try and find them. But, the thought of finding them devoid of any humanity stopped the ideas from floating around in your head.

And then, you thought about Noah.

You thought about your last interaction with him, when he dropped you off at work on that godforsaken day. He gave you a kiss on the cheek and told you he'd pick you up at the end of your shift, so you could grab some dinner together, like you usually did.

The end of your shift never came, and neither did Noah.

You regretted not saying you loved him on that day. You're pretty sure he knew, but you wish you had told him anyway.

It's been 730 days since that day, and you still wonder what happened to him. What happened to all of the boys, all of your friends.

Were they together? Did they even make it?

The thought of any of them walking around as one of those creatures brought tears to your eyes, and you willed yourself to think about literally anything else.

If there's one thing you learned in all of this, is that there's no space for emotions. They made you weak and vulnerable, two things you couldn't afford to be.

The stench of decay, mold and dead bodies rotting filled the air, but you were used to it.

Every time you saw a body in the distance, with one too many tattoos adorning the colored and sickly skin, you couldn't help yourself from taking a look at it. You had to make sure. You sighed a breath of relief when you saw it wasn't any of your friends. It wasn't your Noah left to rot in the streets with no dignity left.

It meant they could still be out there.

And, as much as you weren't someone with a religious flare, specially in the last two years, you found yourself praying that one day, your path would cross with his, and you'd be able to find just a smidge of the familiarity you felt whenever he was around you.

You felt cold ever since that day. And it didn't have anything to do with the weather. Even though you did think about the people who lived in areas covered by snow. How many of them have died already by hypothermia. How many of them are buried beneath the thick layers of snow.

You though about the worst way to die in this situation. And there were so many ways. The worst, of course, is being bitten and turned into one of these things, and praying to God there is someone to take you out of your misery. You could also starve to death, you could die from dehydration. You could catch a disease.

Or, you could end the misery by yourself. You thought about it time and time again, hand gripping the .38 you carried around with yourself. You found it in somebody's house and didn't think twice about taking it, and all of the ammunition you could find.

For someone who always fought for gun regulation, you found the thought of being happy when you found ammo in some abandoned store a giant contradiction.

Right now, you still found yourself struggling with your morals as a completely rabid and infected dog made it's way towards you. You knew what you had to do, but your hands hesitated nonetheless.

Images flashed in your mind. This dog was once a happy animal, probably with a family who took it on walks, fed it and made sure it lived a comfortable life and slept on a warm bed. It probably played with kids too. Or maybe it was a couple with no kids who adopted it, thinking it was gonna have a life away from the streets.

You thought about your friends' dogs, and how many times you slept with them soundly curled up against you. How many times you fed them some piece of chicken without Matt, Davis or Orie catching you in the act.

But this dog was none of that.

You watched closely as it approached you, and right when it was about to jump, opening it's mouth and baring it's teeth, your finger pulled the trigger. The sound of the shot reverberated across the abandoned buildings, and the animal layed lifeless on the ground.

You thought about how it was probably the time for you to hide, since the creatures were highly sensitive to noise, and you just fired a gun in the middle of the street.

You looked around you, ears straining to detect if you would hear the distinct gurgling sounds. Your hearing became quite good over these two years, specially at night. There was no light, except for the moon that still shined in the sky, mindless to everything that was happening down here on Earth.

You had to rely on your instincts most nights. And it's saved you on more than one occasion.

The area you were walking around right now was new for you. You have spent so many hours walking around and roaming the streets, that it was surprising that you haven't passed through here before. But that didn't mean other people haven't raided the place, taking everything and leaving dust behind.

You noticed that it got harder and harder to find canned goods, or bottled water. Every place was ransacked, including grocery stores and pharmacies, which were the first places people looked through two years ago.

You kept walking, your eyesight settled on a sign in the distance that read "The Three Sisters Market". The place wasn't too big from what you could tell, and, usually, people walked past them without even noticing. You gave up trying to find things in big supermarkets, finding that it was a waste of your time.

As you approached the place, you looked through the transparent glass windows first. Fridges lined the walls, and you could see some shelves knocked over, some stuff fallen on the floor. The cashiers were empty, and if money was worth anything in this world anymore, you would try and look if there was any left.

Standing in front of the door, you looked up and saw there was no bell to alert your presence. You gripped your gun just in case you needed to use it, even if the place seemed empty.

You opened the door slowly and stepped inside. The stench of spoiled food filling your nostrils, and you scrunched up your nose in disgust. Dust filled the air, and you could see the little particles floating in the space, illuminated by the sun streaming in from outside.

You checked every isle before you sorted through whatever they still had in here. As you set foot in the last one, you saw a figure standing at the end of it, and it startled you a bit. Adjusting your eyesight, you could tell the person was a man, and well over 6 feet tall. He was wearing a black tank top and black pants, and as you observed more, you could've sworn you've seen those tattoos before.

He didn't look infected, but you couldn't tell if they were armed or not. Usually, you'd back away and find somewhere else. But, every voice inside your head was screaming for you to talk to this guy. Call out for him and see what his deal was.

So, that's what you did.

But before you had a chance, you stretched your arm in front of you, gripping your gun tight, preparing yourself for retaliation.

"Hey", you called out, voice firm and steady. Your breath betrayed you a little, and you didn't know why you were so nervous. It's not like you haven't come across people before in the two years you've been roaming the streets alone.

The guy froze for a second, as he heard your voice. He was gripping a bag of chips in his hands from what you could tell. But, his hand froze midway, as he was about to put it back on the shelf.

He turned around and when your eyes landed on his face, you cocked your head to the side in confusion, straining your eyes to make sure they weren't deceiving you.

This wasn't possible. You were definitely imagining things. You knew you had gone too long without eating, and now your mind was playing tricks on you.

You took a step back in your shocked state. The gun pointing forward now more slack in your hand, and you decided to lower it altogether, putting it back under the hem of your pants.

"Y/N", he said, and you felt your knees give out a little from under you.

"No, no", you murmured to yourself. "This isn't real", you rubbed your eyes with purpose, hitting your head with your hands a couple of times. When you looked back at the isle, you half expected him to be gone again, but there he stood, tall and demanding, like always.

He took a couple of steps closer, but you stopped him.

"I don't know what this is, or what you're trying to do, but I'm armed", you warned him.

"Y/N", he said your name, softly, but loud enough for you to hear, and you could feel your heart kickstart just from hearing your name falling from his lips again. "It's me. I swear this is no joke"

His hands were trembling, and he was dying to reach for you. But he didn't want to startle you. Instead, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and held it up for you to see.

You gasped. Even from a distance, you could tell he was showing you the same polaroid you've kept with you, even after all this time. Your hand flew to your mouth, as you eyes widened and filled with tears that spilled freely down your cheeks.

"Oh my God", you muttered, still in disbelief that Noah was actually standing right before you. Once you were able to shake yourself from your stupor, your feet acted on their own accord, your boots hitting the floor below you, as you just about ran into his arms.

Noah enveloped his arms around you, in the tightest hug you've ever gotten. You couldn't help but pat your hands all over him. On his back, his sides, his chest, to make sure he was real, made of flesh and bones.

He was here.

You sobbed in his arms, and you could feel his body shaking against yours, feeling the same tsunami of emotions you're feeling. Soon, though, the emotional and physical exhaustion took over you, and your knees buckled from under you, and Noah followed you into a sitting position, not letting go of you for even a second.

You stayed like that for what felt like hours. You started to notice the changes that took place in the years you separated. Noah's hair no longer cascaded down his back, in soft and silky strands, instead, it was short, and framed his face nicely.

Even through his jacket, you could tell he has built muscle in his arms, and his torso, as his arms that held you close to him, felt firmer than ever.

You noticed that he smelled the same. It was inexplicably him, and as the scent filled your senses, it took you back to the countless memories you both shared over the years. And you had no doubt anymore that it was your Noah here with you.

In your haze, you couldn't see the mixture of emotions passing through Noah's face as he nuzzled his head further into you.

For him, it was a movie going through his head. The day he dropped you off at the hospital and was never able to come back to get you. The way that things progressed so quickly, the country collapsing right before his eyes. The way he went back to the hospital only to find it devoid of any life, decaying bodies spread around every floor and room he went into. And no signs of you.

He looked for you everywhere, and as the months went by, he could see it in his friends' eyes. They would never say anything to him, especially knowing the bond you two shared, but Noah knew. He knew that the chances of you still being alive were slim. Still, he didn't want to speak it into existence.

Separating from you, but still keeping himself close, he grabbed your face in his hands.

"I thought I was never going to see you again", he whispered into the space shared between you. "But something inside of me knew that you were still out there. I never lost hope"

You eyes were shining with tears and so were his.

"I was so scared", you admitted, voice small and hands still trembling, as you placed your hands over his. "I was scared of what might've happened to you when I couldn't be there"

Noah was about to respond, when you heard the front door to the small grocery store open. Following your instincts, you stood up abruptly, hands grasping and pulling the gun at whoever - or whatever - had just entered the store.

"Woah, hold on", a man with a cloth covering his mouth said, raising his hands in surrender. "Holy shit", you heard him murmur under his makeshift mask.

"Nick, you really gotta be more careful", Noah's voice filled the sudden silence, and you blinked twice, taking in what he had just said.

"Nick?", you asked.

"If you lower your gun, I can take my mask off", he remarked, and you sensed a little teasing in his voice.

Oh, how much you missed it.

"Shit, sorry", you lowered your gun, and tucked it safely back into your waistband.

Ruffilo took off the cloth covering half of his face and his smile came into view, prompting you to smile with him.

"Surprise?"

"Best surprise ever", you answered and walked towards him, opening your arms and letting him embrace you.

"You don't know how good it is seeing you again", he murmured, face tucked into your neck, with one hand moving up and down your back.

You separated after a few seconds, and you stood there, between Noah and Ruffilo, not really believing this is your life now.

"Where are the others?", you asked, a little hesitant, scared of the answer.

"They're outside as we speak. We should probably get back to them before they get too worried", Nick pointed out.

"You go ahead and tell them everything is fine. Y/N and I will hang back, there are few things in this place we could probably take with us", Noah instructed, and Nick put the mask back over his face, and made his way out of the store.

"I didn't even get the chance to look through this place yet", you chuckled lightly, but Noah didn't answer you. He just stood there, staring at you, with a look of contemplation on his face.

"I can't fucking believe you're standing right in front of me", he said, voice quiet, as he shook his head. "I've spent so long trying to prepare my heart for the fact that I would most likely never see you again, never feel you again, never hear your voice again. And now that you're here, I don't know what the fuck am I supposed to do"

You closed the distance between you two, and stood right in front of him. Grabbing his face in your hands, you touched your forehead with his and saw his eyes flutter close, enjoying the warmth of your skin on his after what felt like forever.

"You don't have to do anything", you murmured. "Just be here, and promise me I'll never have to let go of you ever again"

"I promise", he said back you, eyes open so he could look right into yours as he told you this.

"Now, we gotta look through this place. I assume we don't have much time left", you reminded him. Staying in one place for too long was never really good, and you avoided it if you could.

In the next few minutes, you and Noah searched through the shelves and stored anything that would be of good use inside your backpacks. There were some canned and packaged foods, that you hoped were still edible.

"I think this is everything", you pointed out.

"Yeah, I think we'll be set for several days. Surely this is was our lucky store", Noah said, and you definitely agreed with him.

"Where are you guys headed?", you asked him, as you adjusted the straps on your backpack.

"We were actually trying to get to the hospital where you worked at", Noah closed his backpack, setting it on his back and made his way over to you.

"Why? Do you guys need medicine? I got some on me, we can see if it's of any use for you", you offered.

"Unless you got a tetanus shot, I don't think it'll be of any use, unfortunately", he sighed.

"Who has tetanus?"

"Jolly", Noah told you. "He got a nasty cut on his leg when we were trying to climb over a fence, running from another group of people that were looting in the same area. And since everything is fucking rusted over around here, he probably contracted tetanus"

"Is he showing any symptoms?", you asked him.

"He's having more difficulty with moving around these last couple of days. Which isn't ideal, because we need to get there fast"

"Yeah, that would be ideal. But how are you so sure you're going to find what you need there?"

Most hospitals have already been looted by now, just like drugstores, leaving empty shelves and people painfully dealing with diseases with no medication for treatment.

"Because I remember you saying that the medication used to be stored in a room that needed a code to get in", Noah started to explain, and you nodded. He was right. At your hospital, only authorized people had access to the medication. "And I thought that was our best shot at it", he shrugged his shoulders, and you could see the worry for his friend slowly seep into his expression.

"You could be right. We won't know if we don't try it", you tried to ease his worries a little, but knew that the words woud do little to calm him. "You're lucky I still remember the code. I mean, what would you have done when you got there?"

"Break the door down?", he said, as if it was the obvious choice. Which, you guess it was, but it wasn't the best choice, given the situation.

"And risk the infected hearing you and trapping you inside a hospital?", you questioned, with an amused expression on your face. You knew you got him there.

"Ok, so we might not have thought this far ahead", Noah admitted, stepping closer to you, and placing both of his hands on your shoulder. "I guess I'm just the luckiest man on Earth for finding you, then"

"Guess you are", you winked at him and you both smiled at each other.

"Ok, we gotta go now. The guys are waiting for us", Noah grabbed your hand in his, and led you both out of the store. You looked around, but found no sign of danger, so you followed his lead.

You didn't have to walk much before Noah was leading you into a secluded corner on the street. You could see five other people there. Four were standing up and one was sitting on the ground.

The closer you got, the better you recognized the figures. Matt, Nick, Ruffilo and Davis were the ones standing up. Jolly was sitting on the ground, due to his condition, you guessed. He looked like he was trying to catch his breath as much as he could, since you still had a rather long journey ahead until you arrived at the hospital.

They all had smiles on the their faces as soon as they saw you and Noah approach them, and one by one, they all greeted you with hugs and disbelieving remarks.

Despite all of the craziness still going on in the world, it felt like Earth started to spin on its axis again, and you felt the most content you've ever felt since Noah dropped you off at the hospital on that dreadful day.

"Ok, so, how are you?", you kneeled down in front of Jolly.

"It's getting worse, day after day", he sighed out loud. "I've been feeling my body ache all over. I've also had fever and I can't seem to stop sweating"

You only nodded. Those did seem like symptoms of tetanus, and they would only get worse as the days went by.

"Did you take your tetanus booster shot in the last couple of years?", you asked him. But by the symptoms he was showing, your guess was that he hadn't taken his booster shot in a long time.

"I don't even remember if I've ever gotten one"

"Ok", you got up and looked at the other guys. "We need to get him to the hospital, and fast. I need to administer the right medication and treatment, and that's me assuming we're going to find it there, before the disease gets worse and we're not able to get him there at all"

"Ok, so let's go, guys. The hospital is not too far away, but it's not too close either. We need to walk as much as we can before it's nighttime"

Everyone agreed and got ready to leave. Jolly stood up with the help of his friends and we all started heading towards the hospital.

After what felt like weeks, but were really only a couple of days, you found yourself standing in the same place you were two years ago. Noah was beside you, just like he was two years ago. But, the hustle and bustle of the busy hospital in front of you was nowhere to be seen.

You often complained about your occupation as a nurse, always feeling the exhaustion of the job seeping into your body after every shift at the hospital. The feeling that you were going to burnout looming over your head day after day.

Now, you wished you could go back to how things were before the world went to shit. Back then, you didn't have to worry if you were going to get eaten alive, or transformed into a monster, half dead walking on the streets.

"Y/N and I are going to look for the medication, Ruffilo is staying with Jolly, and Matt and Davis are going to stake out the place for any sign of those creatures", Noah instructed everyone.

Over the days you spent with them, you noticed how easy it was for Noah to take on the role of a leader. You guess it was always like this, even before now. He always felt comfortable calling the shots. It meant he had things under control. It means that they had a plan to follow, and he always worked better that way.

"You guys be careful. We don't know what's hiding in there", Jolly said. You could tell that, deep down, he was feeling guilty about everyone having to do this because of him. Doesn't matter if everyone had already told him that they didn't mind, that no one was ever going to get left behind. You could still see the guilt dancing behind his eyes.

Checking on your guns, you got ready to enter the building. The other guys going through the same motions as you.

"Find somewhere close and safe to be. When Noah and I get the medication, we'll go and find you", You told Jolly and Ruffilo, and they stood up, Jolly leaning on Nick for support, as they surveyed the streets for somewhere safe and hidden enough to stay.

Matt and Davis each went to one side of the building, making sure there were no creatured lurking around.

"Hey", Noah turned to you before you had the chance to start walking towards the entrance. "No matter what happens, we stay together, ok? And you have to promise me to be extra careful. I'm not leaving this place without you again"

"I promise I'll be careful", you combed your fingers through his hair, trying to get the strands to stay back, but they ended up falling over his forehead anyway.

Stepping foward, Noah's chest was almost pressed into yours. You could feel his eratic heartbeat, probably nervous about what was awaiting the two of you inside the hospital. His hand traveled up your arm and rested, warm and reassuring, in the back of your neck, pressing your faces even closer together.

"I'm not gonna lie. I wanna kiss you so bad right now. But I don't wanna do it in front of this rotten hospital, or on this vacant street, devoid of life. You deserve better than this", Noah admitted, his breath was fanning across your face, and you had to restrain yourself from closing the distance between your mouths.

But Noah was right. You've been waiting so long for this moment, that you wanted it to be perfect. You figured you could wait a little longer.

"As soon as we're done with this, you and I are going to find the perfect moment and place to do this", you told him. "Take this as a little motivation", you wiggled your eyebrows and his lips twisted up into a smile.

"Spending the rest of my life beside you is motivation enough", Noah caressed your cheek with his thumb, pressing a kiss on your forehead, before you parted ways.

Tightening the hold on your weapon, you started to make your way to the hospital entrance.

As you expected, the automatic sliding doors didn't work anymore, so you and Noah had to pry it open with your hands. As soon as you got inside, you noticed the stale smell, and the mold decorating the walls.

Pointing in the direction of the pharmacy, you went ahead, since you knew the quickest path.

You and Noah avoided any kind of verbal communication, not wanting to attract any creatures that might be lurking inside the hospital. You watched your steps, since there were hospital beds, cabinets, and syringes thrown around all over the floor. No doubt from the day everything in here descended into hell.

You tried all of the doors as you passed them, checking the rooms to make sure they were empty. So far, the place was completely vacant. The only sounds you could hear were the soft thumps of your boots hitting the floor as you walked. And your heart beating wildly against your ribs.

As you approached the stairs to the second floor, Noah went in front of you, slowly climbing up the stairs, gun in hand and pointing forward. You went a few steps behind him, and stepped into the second floor corridor when he gave you the "ok".

Taking a left and walking all the way to the end of the corridor, you approached a double swing door, that had a "hospital staff only" sign. Looking through the round glass window, you could see that the rest of the corridor was deserted, much like the rest of the hospital you've seen by now.

Giving Noah the "ok", you slowly and carefully opened the door, holding it open so he could step in and close it behind you with a soft click.

You could already see the sign on the door at the end of the corridor that read "pharmacy". Your goal was close, and you wanted to run to it already, but you couldn't let your anxiety get the better of you.

Taking all of the necessary precautions, it took you and Noah a couple of minutes to arrive at the door. When you did, you tucked your weapon in your waistband.

"Cover me while I type in the code", you whispered to Noah, as you clicked on the keypad installed on the door. The screen came to life, and you typed in the first number, and a rather loud sound echoed in the empty corridor and you grimaced. You forgot there was an annoying "ding" sound with every number you clicked.

Waiting a few seconds to see if you had attracted anything, you took the chance and typed in the second number, then the third and the fourth, hearing a wirring sound coming from the door as it unlocked.

"I'll go in first", Noah murmured to you. From the side, you slowly opened the door so he could carefully step inside. Retracting your gun again, you waited for him to tell you that you could come in. After a few seconds, he approached the door from inside the room, signaling that it was safe.

"It's better if we don't close the door. I don't want to risk getting trapped in here", you told him and he nodded.

"Ok, you look for Diazepam, Penicillin and Morphine. They should be over there", you pointed to the end of the room. "I'll take care of the rest", you instructed him, giving him the names of medications he already knew, so it was easier for him to find.

Making your way to where the shots and vaccines were usually stored, you started to look for the tetanus antitoxin. Luckily, you saw that there were a few left, so you grabbed a couple of them before making your way over to Noah.

You noticed that the room was emptier than normal. Usually, there would be a lot more medications in here. Apparently, other medical staff members had the same idea as you, and you thanked them for being kind enough to leave some behind.

"Did you find them?", you asked him.

"I found Morphine and Diazepam, but I couldn't find the other one", he held up the two medications he found.

"It's ok, let me help you look for it"

You sorted through the shelves, and noticed a few things were out of place, making it more difficult for you to find what you were looking for. You tried to find Penicillin, but came up empty, so you went ahead and tried to find another antibiotic.

On the back of the shelf, almost hidden from view, you found a box of Clindamycin, you reached for it and saw that it was still closed.

"This should do it", you told Noah. But you weren't done yet. Since you were here, you were going to grab some Tylenol and Ibuprofen if you could find them. You usually had lots of these at the hospitals, and they weren't too hard to find.

"For when I have a headache", you pointed out and Noah smiled at your remark.

Noah opened his backpack and you put all of the medication in there. He made his way to the door, that was left slightly ajar, and carefully looked outside. Deeming it safe, he stepped out and you went after him. Looking to your left, you saw the sign for the women's bathroom.

"Hey", you silently called out to Noah. "I'll use the bathroom real quick, can you stay out here?"

"Y/N, we have to go. I don't want to stay here for longer than necessary", he said as kindly as he could, but you could tell that he was slightly annoyed by your need to go to the bathroom.

"I'll just check to see if they have running water", you argued. Noah sighed, but nodded anyways.

"Be quick", he instructed, and you gave him a thumbs up.

Opening the bathroom door, you peeked inside. The stalls were open and they all seemed empty, so you stepped in. You made your way to the sinks and tried all of the faucets, but no water came out. Sighing in disappointment, you looked at yourself in the mirror. The dark circles under your eyes were apparent, and you could also see the wisps of hair sticking out from your ponytail coming loose.

Reaching both of your hands up, you undid the ponytail, running your fingers through your scalp. You closed your eyes at the feeling, and that's when you felt something grabbing your ankle, along with a hissing sound.

Startled, you opened your eyes just to see an infected creature crawling on the floor. It's hand was still gripping your ankle tightly. You reached for the waistband of your pants to retract your gun, when you felt a sharp tug, prompting you to loose your balance and fall backwards. Your gun sliding on the floor and landing where you couldn't reach it.

You felt a sharp pain on the back of your head, no doubt you had hit your head hard on the ground when you fell, because there were little black spots in your vision.

Kicking your legs desperately, ou tried to pry the creature away from you, but it was persistent and strong. In a matter of seconds, you were fighting it with your hands, trying to keep it's face away from yours. It's teeth were barred, and it exuded a rotten and vile smell, you had to keep yourself from vomiting all over the floor.

When you noticed one person wasn't enough to fight this thing, you called out to Noah. The sound of your voice was enough to make the creature even more agitated, and seconds before the bathroom door opened, you felt a sharp pain on your wrist, and you screamed out in agony. Wailing your hands, you tried to pry its teeth from your skin, but once it latched on, it was impossible to remove.

A single bang rang across the room, and the half dead creature fell limp against your body. You felt it's teeth loosen, and blood seeping from the wound.

"Noah", you called out his name, breathless.

"It's ok. I'm here", he removed the creature from above you, and kneeled down on the floor beside you. "It's ok, you're ok", he said, but you shook your head. Tears were already gathering in your eyes.

"No", you said, meekly, and shaking your head.

"What do you mean? It's ok, I shot that thing dead, alright? It's fine", he reached for you, and you rested your head on his lap. You started to sob into him. Slowly, you pulled your sleeve up to show him where the creature had bitten you.

Once his eyes fell on the wound, Noah started to shake his head, not believing what his eyes were seeing.

"No, no", he denied, grabbing your arm to inspect it closer. "It's superficial, alright? I'm sure you're going to be ok", he said, but by now, you both knew that was not the case.

"Noah. It's ok", you nodded, but he only shook his head more fervently.

"No, Y/N. This is not happening. Please tell me this is not happening", he started to cry with you, cradling your head in his hands, and bringing you closer to him. Your bodies shook from the intensity of your cries.

"Seeing you again was the best thing that's ever happened to me", you mumbled into his stomach, where you had buried your head. "I'm glad it's with you, rather then me being alone"

"I just got you back. I can't lose you right now, not after all of these years looking for you", Noah brushed your hair away from your face. "No, I'm not losing you"

"You and I both know what needs to be done", you put into words what neither of you wanted to admit.

"No. That's not happening"

"Noah, you have to go", you spoke softly, sensing that if you spoke any louder, the boy would crumble to pieces before you.

"I'm not going. I wanna stay here with you. I don't want to leave you alone. I'm not leaving you alone", he was barely able to speak over his cries. You reached up and delicately brushed your fingers over his cheek, that was wet and red from crying.

"I think this is the perfect time for you to give me a kiss", you told him, and in a millisecond, his mouth was fitting over yours, his hand firmly grasping the back of your neck, bringing your faces impossibly closer. You could taste him, but you could also taste yours and his tears, and it registered in your mind that this was the first and last time you'd be feeling his lips on yours.

Parting, but staying close, you enjoyed having him this way for a few more seconds.

"You gotta go and get the medicine to Jolly, ok? He needs you, and the rest of the boys need you as well", you told him. His eyes were screwed shut, and his face was twisted in agony.

"I love you. I love you so much, you gotta know that, ok? You were the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm the luckiest man alive just to have had the opportunity to know someone as amazing as you, and getting to spend so many years with you in my life", Noah confessed, and you smiled at his words.

"I love you too, so much. You're going to do great things still. Even if the world if fucked, I know you and the boys are going to do great. And I'll always be watching over you", you told him. You could already start to feel the difference in your body. "You gotta go now, ok?", so you told him, sliding off his lap and landing on the ground. "Can you grab my gun for me?", you asked him, and you could see the puzzled expression on his face. "I would never ask this from you, Noah. So please, grab my gun for me".

With a solemn look, and shaky legs, he made his way to the other side of the room, where your gun had landed. He grabbed it and gave it back to you. Leaning down and placing one last kiss on your lips, he told you "I'll see you on the other side".

"I'll see you"

Noah got up and walked towards the door. He didn't look back, because he knew that if he saw you one more time, he wouldn't have the courage to step out of that room and leave the hospital.

As soon as the door closed behind him with a click, he heard a loud shot echo around the hospital, and he knew then that the Y/N he knew, cared for and loved with all of his being, was gone.

He crumbled on the floor, a mess of limbs and tears falling from his face, body shaking in pain and agony.

He knew then, that the Noah you loved and cared for, was gone too.

Tag list: @concreteangel92 @foliosgirl @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @stardustsirenmelody @concretejunglefm @fadingangelwisp @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @babygirlchuuya @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @lacy1986 @romanreigns-supreme @xmads-omensx @missduffsblog @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @badomensgoodomens @floatingkiwi @collective-heartbreak @dontwantthemoney @dream-machine-love @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @amelia-acero @montgomery-929496 @stardustsirenmelody @triedbimsoblu333 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @noyaisasimp @w0manof-flesh44 @geminigirlfromfinland @zozaline @deardelirium @turn-your-life-into-folklore @dominuslunae @shelbyrlxoxo @super-btstrash-posts @shayzillaaaa @wordskeeper @enemiestolovershoe @haehihello @anameunmusical @blade-dressed-in-red @jilliemiw86 @vinyardmauro @ohheykayyyxo @chey-h @fuck1ng-queen @ichoosetenderomens

[yanderes-galore]

I may have Yandere Alastor desperate and insane... Topo remember the last chapter where Alastor goes insane after the battle of Adam... Now imagine another reader goes looking for him and finds him in this state... Perhaps the reader tries to console (the reader has a pure soul)

Having a pure soul in Hell? Ironic. However, maybe that's why he wants yours so bad? Just going to say this, I am not the biggest fan of how this came out. This was meant to be how you're meet your yandere but Darling seems so out of place in this prompt :( I'll take feedback on this as I can probably do something better in the future.

Aftermath

Yandere! Alastor Short

Pairing: Dubious

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, OOC Alastor, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Sadism, Forced companionship (?)

Vulnerability... Alastor has always hated such a thing.

Even more so when he's driven to it.

Alastor doesn't like being vulnerable. He's used to being powerful and showing he's powerful. He likes it when people fear him.

But here he is, nearly at the brink of death because he tried to help Charlie and her friends.

Friends... How funny...

He hates this damn deal he has.

Alastor feels he's going feral as he sits in his old radio tower. It hasn't been touched in years and clearly has fallen into disrepair. Despite it all... It remains a temporary sanctuary for him to lick his wounds.

The others must be so happy... all smiles at their big victory...

Yet he's here cleaning the blood off his suit.

Alastor is used to being alone. He finds comfort in the silence of the radio tower as he listens to his own labored breathing. It's a small respite...

Until he hears footsteps.

The deer demon turns around quickly when he senses a presence in the door way. He's shaking, weak, and he hates it. The sinner in front of him looks much weaker than him...

Yet he glares anyway.

You had heard strange noises coming from the old decrepit tower. A combination of thunking and pained noises. Being curious, you entered to find out what was going on.

Only to be confronted by one of Hell's worst monsters.

"Well isn't your concern cute..." Alastor dryly comments with a laugh as he tries to be charming. "Your fear is better."

Alastor expects you to turn tail and run like most demons. He could see you quivering yet you never ran. Were you frozen in fear?

Then you snap out of it, approaching him like he's a wounded animal.

You notice his wounds and he thinks you're a fool. In fact, your behavior reminds him of Charlie and it makes him wonder just how you got into Hell. You perplex him...

Which is why he recoils with a growl when he sees you try to touch him.

"Do you need help...?" You ask and Alastor still looks unhinged when staring at you.

Help? Alastor doesn't need help. He's fine alone. But... The idea of toying with you may distract him from his pain.

"Help?" Alastor chuckles. "Geez, I never thought I'd come across such a kind sinner. You don't belong here, do you?" Alastor grins as he beckons you closer.

"You want to help, do you?" Alastor bitterly murmurs. "Fine... Entertain me, then. It will help."

Alastor originally called you over to provide him begrudging comfort. Yet as time passed and he healed, he found your soul... sickeningly sweet. It's hard to believe you'd do anything all that horrible.

Alastor is not someone who typically enjoys being vulnerable to anyone. Yet he found himself watching you as you chatted to him. He leans on his hand, ears flicking as he seems oddly calm.

If he didn't know any better, he'd think you were meant to be a fallen angel.

It's actually... Nice to be in your presence within this rotting tower.

Alastor makes dry comments or charming muses towards you, only to see you smile. He hates to admit it but his ears perk up when he sees your smile. You're charming in your own right....

Alastor doesn't let you touch him, but the idea is intriguing to him. He finds himself wondering how it would feel to have your comfort all the time. Then he thinks about that strange soul of yours...

He has an idea.

"My dear, have you ever thought of getting out of here?" Alastor hums, a large grin on his face.

"Out of this tower?"

"No, silly... Out of Hell?"

"That's... an option?"

Your curiosity is amusing yet oddly adorable as Alastor clicks his claws on the tower's metal. He nods with a chuckle, already plotting on what to do with his new toy.

"There's a new hotel a friend of mine is hosting..." Alastor continues, placing a clawed hand on your shoulder. "She says she can redeem sinners and I think you've got it in you... Want to give it a shot, doll?"

At your nod, Alastor can't help but feel giddy. It's great that you agreed so readily. You're probably so desperate to have a different afterlife...

Yet he's taking advantage of you.

"Here, take my hand, we'll work out all the details later..." Alastor encourages, holding your hand in a firm handshake before he pulls you closer. "You'll be a great new guest. I assure you, you'll be taken care of."

In reality, Alastor wants to introduce you to the new hotel in order to continue having you close. You've piqued his interest and now he finds himself wanting more. Surely you should know to not trust a charming face?

Too late now, it seems... as Alastor is already tugging you through a portal. Could you be redeemed? Maybe.

But Alastor was never going to allow that to happen... No, Alastor wants to corrupt you more...

You'll think he's helping you... You'll trust him...

Yet the second you agree to a deal with him, thinking he's just trying to help, you'll be all his and there's nothing you can do about it.

[lihhelsing]

Buck's head is still going fast when he finally finds a place to sit down. It'll be just for a minute, but he needs it badly. 

He keeps recalling the past hours of his life. The way the fucking door slid in front of him before he even knew what was happening. The way it trapped his team–his family– inside that fucking lab. Away from safety. Away from where he could get to them. 

The door sentenced Buck to his worst nightmare; There was absolutely nothing he could do right now, but sit and wait. 

Athena was handling it. Maddie was trying something on her side. And Buck, whose only real skill was the fact that he didn't think before throwing himself in danger's way if it meant he could save someone he loved, had his hands tied. 

He shut his eyes tightly. He could feel the pain flaring up behind his eyes the way it always did on hard shifts like this one. But it was ok. He was ok. 

He had to be ok because Hen, and Bobby, and Chim, and Ravi still needed him. And if he had to break things and tear down that whole building, he would get to them. He would find a way to get to them. 

But he just needed a minute. 

When he opens his eyes back up, the migraine is fully on its way and there isn't much he can do to prevent it now. He'll ask for a painkiller and chug some water down, but the adrenaline will dampen the pain. 

He will keep going through the pain until everyone is back where they belong. Safe and sound. 

Buck fishes his phone to see if Maddie has messaged him, but when no notifications pop up he knows it's time to go back out there. To see if someone can tell him what to do. How to help. 

But then his fingers hover over his contact list and he stops and stares. For just a second. 

Just seeing Eddie's name in there, on the top of his favorites list, makes him feel better. 

Eddie who isn't here with him but he's always with him. 

Buck doesn't even realize he pressed his contact until the phone is ringing in his hands. 

He puts it to his ear even though he's pretty sure Eddie's not going to answer it. It's the middle of the day and Eddie's probably working. But still, Buck lets it ring. Even the mechanic beep sound manages to make him feel a little better with the idea that Eddie might be far away but at least he's safe this time. 

At least this once, Eddie isn't in any danger. 

That thought alone would be able to carry Buck to the end of the world. He misses him with his whole being and it sucks that Eddie couldn't get a firefighter job in Texas, but Buck would be lying if he said he loved the idea of Eddie running into burning buildings three states away from him. Too far for him to reach. Too far for Buck to save him. 

Far enough that maybe Buck wouldn't need to admit what his feelings for Eddie really were. 

"Hey," Eddie's voice breaks through the fog in his brain. Clear and steady. A softness that Buck knows it's only reserved for him. 

"Eddie, hey," he says, the total opposite. A shaky mess due to fear, and stress and tiredness. 

"Everything ok?" Eddie asks, and he knows. Buck doesn't even need to say anything and Eddie knows something is wrong. "Who is it?" 

It doesn't matter what happened, just who it happened to. Just who's in the face of danger right now. 

"It's, um, everyone? Chimney, mostly. Right now. But everyone. I... there was an explosion. In a lab. And–" 

"He's going to be fine," Eddie says, not an ounce of doubt in his voice. "They're all going to be fine." 

"You don't know that," Buck says, and surprises himself with how vulnerable he sounds right now. It's easier to let the fear get the best of him when he had Eddie on the other side, ready to tell him he's wrong. 

"I don't," Eddie says, still calm. "But they've beaten the odd time and time again. We've beaten the odds time and time again, Buck. And we'll do it again." 

Buck sighs on his side and closes his eyes. When he does that, he can almost picture Eddie right there, standing next to him instead of miles and miles away. Buck wants to ask Eddie to come back even if he knows it's selfish. 

Eddie is where he's supposed to be. Buck just wishes he weren't feeling so ripped in two about it. 

"I miss you," he says into the void and he can hear Eddie's breath fastening on the other side. 

"I miss you too, Buck," Eddie says as easy as breathing. "But you know I..." 

Buck nods even though Eddie can't see him. "I know." 

Eddie hasn't left him. He went back to where he belonged, and that's with Christopher. Buck wants to be an adult about that, but it's hard to do that when things get so complicated. Everyone he loves is trapped inside a fucking lab, getting infected by a virus and Buck's worried his best friend will stop talking to him if he tells him his feelings towards him have taken a complicated turn lately. 

He knows Eddie's not like this. He wouldn't push him away because Buck was dumb enough to catch feelings for him but he's so scared right now he can't even risk it. 

"I should get back," Buck says, and Eddie sounds a little disappointed on the other side. They were always pretty co-dependent but it seems that the distance has made them even worse. Last week Eddie called Buck because he wasn't sure which color of underwear he should put on for his meeting with the Captain. 

"Keep me posted?" Eddie says. "Even if it's in the middle of the night. I'll be waiting to hear from you." 

"Yeah, you got it." 

Buck sighs, clutching his phone in his hands. He has no idea how he's going to untangle himself from this messy situation with Eddie. He expected the feelings to quiet down now that they were apart, but Buck finds himself craving Eddie even more now that he doesn't even get to have him platonically. 

He's too scared to look into his past to try and figure out when the feelings developed into something more than platonic. And he's too scared to risk that right now. He can't get through life without Eddie, even when he's miles and miles away. 

The fear he feels when he thinks about his feelings for Eddie actually makes him braver about everything else. Now that his heart has skipped countless beats just from hearing his voice, Buck feels energized to go back out there and fix this. 

Eddie is right. They're getting through this. Buck's getting them out of there if it's the last thing he'll do.  

[foxieflower]

Please write an analysis about Eddie Gluskin!

So sorry this took forever but I really needed to get back into the analysis mood and some posts on tiktok reminded me of how much I love Eddie!

Anyways, Eddie Gluskin is a very interesting and layered character for me. It's very obvious that his base point of creation is to scare male gamers in the same way a man would scarr a woman in most cases. To force men into this uncomfortable vulnerability that seems rooted in sexual desire in some way. It's very easy to leave his story as one about male rage and sex based crimes on women but... there is easily so much more to him.

First to state, while many probably feel no sympathy for Eddie, including Waylon at his death scene, i genuinely believe that an important part of Eddie is utilizing him and his story to show that the enemy is not the man threatening to cut you in half, but instead the people that pushed him there. While the initial game, Miles is able to separate himself from the situation, make jokes, and often make sympathetic comments about the people trapped in the asylum... Waylon slowly loses that the longer he's in there. He's scared and too close to the situation, and he's also been given a similar dose of their "medicine", his empathy in not as strong during gameplay. However, through his gameplay, we as the players can see how terrible things would have been for the patients stuck inside under Murkoff's control. So from there is where we can talk about Eddie as a person and character.

Now as fun as it is to wax poetic about my headcanons for Eddie; how i think he's been in the medical system since an incident when he was 17, how I don't think his mother was able to help or handle him, how I think that his father is alive in jail, or how I personally believe that he was on the up for mental health until Murkoff got him due to his lack of family connections... That would be fun, but that's not analysis. Instead, I need to talk on this character sympathy we are meant to feel about him and why specifically on him. Simply put, it's because he is the hardest to feel sympathy for, but that's the point. Eddie is shown at the very start of Whistleblower, something i actually didn't realize on my first watch through, but he's the one at the start. In contrast to the initial game, Waylon's story allows you to see that everyone in this hospital, everyone you see as monstrous through the main game... they looked just like Eddie from the start of it. A little pale, a little gaunt maybe, but normal and scared. Oh is he so scared. They make a point of showing that Waylon is different, that Eddie can see the fact he could save him if he just got him out of there, somehow. Eddie has seen the same faces of these emotionless and uncaring doctors his entire time here, slowly given story after story by other patients that they're doing terrible things, that a terrible monster visits them, he's a massive man that needs many people to hold him back and yet, he's so scared. And not only does he fear this machine and the uncertainty, he very openly states that "they're going to rape me!" And frankly, that doesn't sound like something a man would randomly yell for no reason.

That's the first step to this in that... something seems very intense about this man and then we are aggressively shown just how the machine immediately hurts and changes the man. That it's not just some wack-job by Trager, that it's the machine that starts this mutation process. A tube shoved through his body, his mind torn apart, and his skin blistered like breaking cancer cells. None of it pleasant. Next we understand his panic and yelling, it wasn't just the idea of the tube being shoved through his body, but as Waylon finds himself in the presence of one of the doctors, Andrew, in the sake way a patient would, well it starts to makes sense. There's a rush to push him along in this moment, but he lack of care when people walk into him literally licking the aid of Waylon's face plainly states he's done this before... and we know there's no way Eddie was immune to this based on his life's luck. The final straw here is when we meet Eddie again, while it's easy to see it as just general 1950s style brainwashing of a man, the brutality of how he sees sex and how it sounds to him is very obvious. It's never once stated that he sexually assaulted women and we know this type of game would tell us, no... just a serial killer. All of this stems from one point in his life where his brain was unable to escape from even now, and papers confirm it, stating how he was actually the victim of assault by his own father and uncle. Pictures were taken, he was hurt and didn't understand at the time, and how he views everything as painful only reflects that. The doctors here pushed on every button they could to break this part of his mind back out and the riot shows that damage in full. A maniac aimlessly tearing people apart because he needs to fir a perfect.mold he'll never be and a child trapped inside a full grown man that has no idea love can feel good and thinks it's all based around pain.

Another reason I feel women and especially transmascs entirely connect with Eddie is this very on the nose portrayal of internal homophobia. Not only does he see the idea of men as disgusting, but also as just extensions of hia father and uncle. Men who hurt him and destroyed him when he was too young to understand. But he's also very obviously coded in a way to seem homosexual in every meaning of the word. The fact his focus in the riot is first clothing and creation that wouldnt be his job in a wedding, but someone else's. He sings and focuses more on how wonderful his mother is, he speaks on how disgusting men are as if he's been told over and over than he can't love something like that, how it all can easily seem like some weird 1950s fantasy man but something seems off. He's not straight, he never was, but he was hurt beyond recognition and if any therapy was getting him closer to healing before this point... Murkoff completely wrecked it and brought him back to square one.

I mean, what straight man would adore Sleeping Beauty as much as he does?

Now it's very easy to simply write this man off as a one note villain meant to scare men because he sees the player as a woman. I can see how many people don't look past him for that, and simply relate him to the idea of woman hating men that murder because they don't get what they want. But it's so obvious that in his twisting of emotions, his long disconnect from killing until halfway through the playthrough, his small notes and pieces of history that we pick up... that he's meant to be more than that. You're meant to think about him, to question that sure he did some terrible things but... did he deserve this? Was this experimentation okay simply because he was a serial killer? Or is it more likely that thinking that way makes you just as nasty as the scientists? Waylon let's tou see the true horror in Outlast from the perspective of a patient and Eddie extends that view. That's also why they're story is so connected and that while others get pretty wild death scenea... something about Eddie's feels different, don't you think? Like that one last chance for freedom for him was lost the moment the riot broke out, that he was trapped here to the end, that he had much more too him but... all Waylon can think in the moment was... to laugh. And it haunts him that he did, because he felt for him before the riot, he should have felt for him then too.

[ihopeiexplode]

Sukuna ramblings: “Realistically, would Sukuna have a lover, if yes how would the relationship be?”

. Requested!

—

Honestly realistically speaking, Sukuna himself stated love is worthless so without a doubt I don't see Sukuna having a lover,

Because personally I see Sukuna as someone who only cares about his own desires and could careless about what people think, because he did state in the manga that he was an unwanted child meaning he would be neglected

Which would also mean he doesn't know what the concept of love is and doesn't bother learning it, Sukuna isn't one to give, he takes.

Of course as any unwanted and neglected child Sukuna probably climbed his way up to earn his title as the king of curses, getting rid of anything that gets in his way

Sukuna sees feelings as love worthless and a sign of weakness, and seeing Sukunas personality for a fact he hates showing vulnerability and weakness towards anyone

Afterall throughout his whole life he was always a feared and well respected man, Sukuna knows his worth, and is very much aware that the things he's doing is bad but despite that he simply has no regards of the consequence of his actions

Yes I've seen the way he acts with uraume and gojo etc etc

As I said I don't think Sukuna would be the one to have a lover, but if he ever did I feel like he would prefer them to be an equal to him, plus to have undying loyalty to him

Sukuna is the type to hate the weak, so him having a weak s/o is unlikely, he'd much have someone who's independent, strong and won't get in the way of his plan and help him with his plans

But of course his s/o should also be proven useful to sukuna, cause you know they might come in handy for the future

But how would the relationship be like?

A relationship with him would be decent, but he won't show his love for you openly seeing how the concept of love is unknown to him so expressing his love for you would be difficult meaning you'd also have to be patient with him

Plus he already thinks he's showing his love for you seeing how he granted you the privilege to walk beside him and be with him in the first place, that should be enough right?

Seeing how sukuna never experienced love, so he'd be very unfamiliar with the feeling of showering his s/o with affection, the best you'll get from him is compliments and gifts and a few lingering touches from him here and then

He won't be soft, the best you'll get is him lowering his guard around you, and him spending his free time with you

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/n: yes this was just an excuse to ramble about sukuna thx ily guys

Permanent Taglist: @megumisfave

[changisworld]

What do you think which skz member would be most willing to do anal with female reader??

-🦇

🦇i swear you feed me with the most insane thoughts sndbsnsnsbsjsjasbsb, I hope you like this, mwah!

main masterlist here MOST OF THE MOST LIKEY!!

1. definitely jisung, nobody can tell me he’s not the most insane person when it comes to sex, anal play is nothing compared to other shit he’s into, it definitely happened without you both ever really planning it, it probably started when he was eating you out (obviously messy & imprecise asf because he’s just too excited) & he somehow ended up eating your ass when his tongue went lower to catch some of his spit & once he realised your reaction, it just went from there!! He genuinely can (& has) came completely untouched, the sight of him fucking a glass dildo into your tightest hole just drives him insane & OMFG when he actually fucks you himself??? he cums almost instantly but he just cannot get ENOUGGHHH so he overstimulates himself just to be able to do it with you for longer, he’s not made you orgasm just from anal just yet but he thinks he will have it nailed down so soon!

2. Jeongin!! his ‘vanilla’ persona might trick some people but it WILL NEVER TRICK ME!! this man drools over it. He was probably too nervous to ask you straight up, so instead he would click on a few anal porn videos whenever you guys would masterbate together & you obviously caved instantly after realising the pattern of what he was watching. He’s soooooo sweet the first couple of times you guys have anal sex, slowly opening you up, kissing you all over as his long fingers fuck into you, his hand doing uncomfortable twists just to be able to play with your clit at the same time just to make sure you’re feeling okay, but after you have both gotten used to it, THE SWITCH UP IS INSANE!! you have both realised you enjoy anal sex a whole lot more than you both originally thought & it’s definitely not an extremely common occurrence, but it still happens loooaadssss hehehe

3.Leeknow loves anal, everyone act surprised! He is an ass man through & through & you both tried anal for the first time not long after you jokingly asked him if he wanted anal as he was squishing your ass with his hands like a cat. A few days later, you're laying on your back as Leeknow is sliding his cock into you, not with too much restraint after your entire hole drenched in a flavoured lube & you also didn't know it was possible to orgasm just from having your ass licked but you now know it's possible! He still prefers your pussy, mainly because he knows your cunt & how to use & play with it through in & through out but he will never say no to it!

4.Hyunjin is definitely someone who you would never expect to be into anal play when you both got together but HOW WRONG YOU WERE WERE! I don't think he is the most desperate for it, especially when your pretty pussy is so, so inviting, but when you asked if you could both try it, there is no chance in HELL he would say no! He definitely likes to have vibrators in your pussy while he is lost in the feeling of the way your pucker clenches around his cock so hard the circulation almost cuts off but he wouldn't ever dare complain, especially with the whimpers you're letting past your lips uncontrollably.

The least likely

5.Bangchan is someone who wouldn't ever be the first one to ask for it or mention it, but if you were the one to offer it, he wouldn't decline... kinda. He is a bit apprehensive about fully fucking you, but that doesn't mean toys aren't off the table! He loooveess to use all different kinds of vibrators & dildos on you, your & his new favourite being a thin, clear glass dildo & he loves the way you whine & hiss as you feel the coldness of it, then overtime it warming up from your soft walls & he definitely speaks such sweet words to you as he plays with you in such a vulnerable state, he can't help but get butterflies about how much you trust him to do this to you!

6.Felix isn't someone who really cares about anal, he hasn't ever thought about doing it with you, he gets a bit jittery whenever the topic comes up, but who is he to deny you? You've done it a couple of times but you decided to ask him if he wanted to try it... on him, & the way his freckled cheeks went bright red instantly made you giggle & ever since then, the roles switched! Ever since this change, Felix & you are a lot more relaxed about doing it together & you both enjoy this dynamic a whole lot more. If you play with his pretty, full balls as you finger his squishy spot, he cums within thirty seconds, but you can never just let him cum once, especially in this position, because why waste such a good opportunity?

7. I think Changbin wouldn't be the most interested in anal, simply because he is just too much of a softie, especially for you!! He & you knows he is THICKKKK & he just already knows it would no doubt be uncomfortable for you. He has however, fingered your ass a few times & he loves how you react, he has also rimmed you & is a new huge kink of his (after he got rimmed by you, he had an awakening heheheh) but since you have never asked for him to fuck your ass, he has never felt the need to be the one to ask first, especially since he knows you would ask if you wanted it.

8.Seungmin. It's not that he would never try it, but he is too addicted to your pussy as it is, he is honestly just scared he will go rabid if he felt your other hole. I also just think poor minnie would be too nervous to do it, he is all for kinks but he is too scared he would hurt you, the poor baby:( If you already have experience with anal, he would probably be less scared but I also just think he would be too scared to ask you first in case you got uncomfortable at the question, so he is more than happy to bury away the tiny thoughts in the back of his mind as he is fucking you from the back into the back corner of his mind, after all, he is more than happy with your pussy.

->Taglist is open!

->Anon list is open!