#it needs mulling over this one

[slimeandsadness]

"if something's named after me, it's going inside me"

[satans-codpiece]

Ramattra for the first time ask - 62 or 65

-dalishthunder

Hehehe I write about 62 a lot, so I'm gonna do 65 >:)

65) …you talk about being with them for the rest of your life.

It comes after a fight.

A screen is shattered in his office, half the contents of his table thrown to the floor. He lays with you as best he can on the tiny couch that was only ever meant for just you. His head on your belly, both arms pressed onto either side of you, his legs so long he's almost having to crouch just to get this close.

"Why are you here?" He asks after a while. His words are quieter, his voice raw and synthetic, not quite processed fully.

You stroke your hand through the thick cables of his hair, pushing them idly from side to side. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you with me?" As soon as he speaks his vents open again- but none near your hands. Steam only rises from his lower back.

"Because I love you." His whole chassis shudders and he turns, pressing his faceplate into your belly. The ribbon cables fall loosely around him, obscuring his audials. He's always so shaken by the confession, how you can say such a thing so easily. "And you can't scare me off that easily. Really, you're the one stuck with me."

How you can speak with such levity while he's drowning in shame baffles him every time.

"Stuck with me forever, actually." You lean down, stretching to press your lips against one bundle of wires. His faceplate is just out of reach- until he looks up, his chin digging into you- but you reach forward anyway and kiss his array.

"You don't mean that." The self-hatred flees his voice, leaving only disbelief. "Surely, you cannot be serious."

Your eyesbrows screw together in one of those human expressions he can't quite understand. "Of course I do. I'm gonna be here as long as you want me here. Ideally, I hope it's for the rest of my life. Which is practically forever for me." You hesitate, then try to grin, to bring back that softness you're spoken with before. "Is that... okay?"

Your life.

His processes hang, cycling through and re-analyzing your speech over and over. He wants to answer, wants to say anything. He knows his internals are buzzing louder, can see the vibration meter embedded in his spine beginning to tick up- can feel the warmth that gathers about his body.

"Ramattra?"

Your entire human life.

A million questions run through his circuits, queries on longevity and survival rates. The answers don't actually matter. Because the thought of denying you this, of denying that he wants this so badly, it feels like the desire itself would rip open his plates one by one. So he nods, a jerky motion of actuators not quite obeying him. "Yes," He finally croaks, the word hardly distinguishable- and just as quickly lays his faceplate down to your stomach again.

Your fingers rifle through his cables again, the only hand stroking along his jaw plate. Warmth of his body permeates through to yours. His hand shift, turning so each palm is pressed up to your ribs. So easily could he kill you with only a motion, only a thought. Instead he squeezes, holds you just a little tighter and hopes you meant it.

[moraymiso]

oh dazai… why can’t you be real so i can drench you in milk and slam you against a wall and make you answer all my questions about your little freak brain

[plounce]

my emoooootional issues and my physical iiiintimacy issuuuues

[dramaticallytrue]

having big "did anyone try the salad (the quicker fic)? i heard the salad (touching grass) is lovely?" feelings about the tag today

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[souenkun]

Been thinking for sometime after spending my days mostly resting in bed and reading fics, but... the swsh fandom really does have one of the best ao3 writers for me :o

[fruitsofhell]

CW for an anti-black slur cause it's the name of a damn movie title, also mentions of historical racism in cartoons

Get really pissed off whenever I think about Coonskin by Ralph Bakshi because I need to rewatch it to see if it might be a fave movie of mine. I want to go over all of Bakshi's filmography sometime and really digest how he deals with depicting black people (especially Fritz the Cat cause the black crows are so cute!), cause he's in an interesting perspective where he is undoubtably sympathetic to us and grew up around us, but expresses this in ways that are soooo over the top we commonly see them now as only acceptable For A Black Person To Do.

Like, he's some white Jewish guy from the slums, he doesn't really have the right to reclaim the racist iconography as we think of it but at the same time it's like if someone's doing interesting artistic work they're doing interesting work. And I as a black person have actually been really inspired by that film ever since I watched it.

Ever since the rubber hose style became super hot again cause of Cuphead and Bendy I've seen people actively downplay how goddamn racist old cartoons were, or I've seen people pick up a clip from an old film and I just go "Chat, they don't know this is a quietly racist animation trend...". But it's not even just that old cartoons were racist and had racist trends, it was baked into their fundamental styles of comedy and cartooning - they were built to either exclude or humiliate blackness. And I feel like Coonskin is a work that expresses that very very loudly but with some sense of purpose.

I personally have wanted to tap into that idea since I started playing with golden age art styles, but for the tone I set in my shit that's way too overbearing. Plus, maybe as an actual black person something unique for me and not Bakshi is a wish to actually see myself represented in those old cartoon styles as more than as an object of controversy. I've also been meaning to watch more of the Proud family and works by Bruce W. Smith cause of that too, I heard in an interview he was motivated to draw because he wanted to see black folks in that mid-century, modernist style and like, SAME.

But it's actually way easier to work black features into that incredibly flexible style than it is to brute force them into the centerline/rubberhose ones where their origins can be traced back TO BLACKFACE. You guys remember that fucking lesson right? How the entire generic rubbergose face is a play on blackface, that's why the mouths and eyes are white but the body is black. If you're unfamiliar with that idea or don't believe it, look up Bosko, Warner Bros first attempt at a mascot, and see if you can tell what he's supposed to be.

It's more of an uphill battle, but not impossible to make it work in those styles. Though I have also considered the utility of borrowing directly from those racist designs to express a meta-contextual feeling/understanding that that is what you look like as a black person in this time period - that is you in the dominant narrative vision of the time. No matter what you are as a black person, to the historical zeitgeist you just appear as some flavor of coon yknow.

It could be a very potent visual tool I think, and I don't know if I'd be considering that if not for Bakshi and my relationship to Coonskin and its themeing. Which is the point, Bakshi was one of those racey types who always wanted to get people upset to start a convo or whatever. It's interesting to look at older but earnest expressions of this that would seem disastrous by today's standards - imagine "They couldn't make Blazing Saddles today" but true and on steroids.

[foldingfittedsheets]

I liked your witch tower comic about Ava so much and saw your tags you’re also passionate about original fairytales. I was wondering if you’d ever consider a comic for my all time favorite “their shoes danced to pieces”

Your work is lovely

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed.

As to that story… probably not? I tend to take each tale with an added twist, but most of the ones I’ve done were sparked by a twist that someone else suggested that I thought would be funny or gave me an idea.

They Danced Their Shoes has a few marks against it. It’s extremely long in terms of plot points that would need to be conveyed. Comics take a Really Long time to make, even short stories can take weeks to draft, ink, shade, and finalize. This story would be massive compared to any of the others I’ve done.

Its’s also not terribly well known, and the ending isn’t very happy. The cursed princes are cursed for longer, the youngest sister gets ignored, and the soldier who didn’t really do anything of merit gets a free bride.

While it’s a nice story to read, the comics I make are focused on fluff. I want to make sweet art that is a balm to all the rough parts of life. Happy endings are guaranteed.

[chocolatepot]

Having thoughts about the autistic difficulty with filters (that is, tending to blurt out an observation or thought without considering if it's going to make someone else feel defensive or crappy or insulted because that's not your intent) and the tension between a) needing to work twice as hard to monitor yourself because people will get upset and consider you an asshole for not filtering, even potentially people who know you're autistic, because "if you know this is an issue, you can and should take steps to not do it," and b) the amount of energy it takes to monitor yourself constantly like that, energy the people reacting that way don't have to expend to do the same thing, and the knowledge that all you have to do is slip up once to have all the effort you've put into masking be wasted because now you're The Asshole.

[byanyan]

byan disappears for two days but instead of emerging strung out and skittish like usual, their hands and arms are covered in paint and ink stains and they're a little distant but hungry as hell

[iamtheoneandonlyever]

*actively bonking u on the head with an empty plastic water bottle*

*Snatches water bottle, fills it up with water and does the sickest, most badass bottle flip the history of human beings has ever seen*

[pepsimaxolotl]

Today I bought something I needed instead of just whining that I dont have a decent waterproof coat please applause me

[magnetic-dogz]

*finishes one updated ref for ArtFight knowing how many more I need to do* Can I be done now

[ittybittybumblebee]

Not trying to armchair psychology you, just speaking from personal experience- it's really, really common to have autism, especially autism that is coupled with ADHD and OCD, be misdiagnosed as BPD for young people. This is most common with verbal autistic people who also suffer from abuse as a minor. The constant mental pressure often manifests as erratic thought and behavior, "strange" patterns of belief and groupings, and just a general feeling of feeling like you are Not The Same and don't know what's wrong but that Something is Wrong. Extreme stress for all of those problems can easily be exasperated into psychosis unfortunately, so a good approach involves being able to ground yourself with knowing how your mind is different, and that it is not broken. Whatever you find out, best of luck man.

thnx means a lot that u typed this out to me anon <3 i think ur def on the right track on what i could b dealing with but at the same time there has been a point where i was quite sure i must be autistic but felt i never had or experienced the same wide or specific and unique variety of stimming/stimulation issues like most autistics do and kindof let that thought slide a bit. because what sources i read had all listed those as being one of the important diagnostic criteria so that is what i understand.

having said that it could be my perception of how stimulation issues present themselves Personally has me feeling like i dont suffer them when i could still be affected in different ways that im not registering as possibly being That

[dog-girl-zezora]

If you see me reblogging at 1 pm its bc I'm at the gym looking gay as fuck and scaring the normals with my goal keeper training