#it means i actually have some kind of impact on peoples lives if they actually think of my au sometimes even if i dont post for it

[starryjkoo]

will always find it so interesting how army made the "jk is a minimoni anti" joke about him being jealous over namjoon....

https://x.com/jklovesjoon/status/1870891537451950488

Oh my god, that video 😬 just… so corny and unfunny. My thing is, why wouldn’t they just make it a namjikook throuple thing - aren’t ARMYs all about poly-BTS? That’s why the ARMYs who make it about only n*mkook are so transparent to me… 👀

Anyways, imo one of the reasons for this is because there’s actually a lot of HL x JM/JK shippers in this fandom who feel a similar way about Jikook as tkkrs do (just not as extreme lol). Maybe 90% of the fandom are shippers & that also includes a lot of HL x ML shippers who operate like, well, shippers. It doesn’t really matter if they think their ship is real or not, it’s still pretty common to feel jealous/resentful when another “rival” ship is getting all the moments they want for their own ship - especially when a lot of BTS shippers are basically Y/N’s who heavily project onto one member of their ship while being infatuated with the other.

This is pretty common in shipping in general, tons of fictional ships have absolutely batshit insane fanwars so it wouldn’t surprise me if there were lots of non-serious BTS shippers who also got weird and dismissive about Jikook out of the same kind of petty jealousy that tkkrs feel. They don’t even have to be a shipper to feel that way tbh, some people are just really attached to the idea of their faves being the closest (and I’m not saying everyone who ships other pairings that involve JM/JK feel this way, plenty are normal and even like jkk, but there’s definitely a large enough group who are super weird about it…)

I think this is one of the reasons why so many Jikook moments get so heavily OT7-ified compared to other duos. The way that the fandom still refers to JK’s JM live as JK’s "BTS content" live is the biggest example of this to me, it’s actually insane. I remember the way the quotes were just full of people talking about how much JK “missed his hyungs” and how he’s “watching BTS content just like me!”. It felt like none of them even acknowledged that it was a Jimin teasing video either, the whole thing was pretty wild. It's sort of the same situation with AYS and the kinds of clips that would circulate ARMY spaces vs the ones that were noticeably absent.

Like, can you imagine how many ARMYs were probably a little bothered by JK saying that the AYS trips were the best of his life? - literally every brand of JK shipper + the really intense OT7 ARMYs who want to think that they’re only happy as seven and have no individuality outside of being a group, hopefully you know the sort of ARMYs I mean, obviously I know JK loves the group and I’m sure the next BV will be very meaningful.

Anyways, sorry for giving you such a long and serious answer to this lmao 😭 it’s a petty rant and not that big of a deal or anything, but it’s just kind of tiring the way this fandom is constantly downplaying jkks bond, picking it apart and making it about other members. It would be nice if they could just give jkk their flowers and celebrate their moments w/out so much obvious jealousy or whatever. And ofc I don’t care what other people ship or if someone wants to make that whole mini/moni thing about nmkook because they ship it, it’s just annoying that those people will pose as non-biased ARMYs and how all of that has really impacted the whole fandom climate & how jikook are treated/talked about. It’s definitely not the end of the world or anything, but it annoys me enough to rant about every now and then lol.

Also, ofc I know there’s plenty of cool non-jkkr ARMYs who do totally appreciate and hype Jikook!! Maybe even the majority of them are totally normal about it, it’s just that there's enough people who are like this that it’s noticeable and annoying.

I was talking about this with someone the other day but - I’m not sure if you know what a “NOTP” is - I’m pretty sure Jikook make up the majority of NOTPs in the fandom lol.

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Catch me going through the rlgl tag at least once a week

I love you💖

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Rural queers, suburban queers, queers surrounded by hate, I may never be strong enough to live your life, but I stand in solidarity with you. you are welcome in spaces with me. lightspeed and stars' blessings to you. I send the same regards to rural/suburban poc and poc surrounded by hate, and it all goes doubly for those of both demographics.

white trans ppl from liberal suburbia in blue states will go on and on about how scary it is to be a trans person right now but the second they encounter a trans person from a red state they’ll be like “ummmmm why would you live in such an uncivilized place lmao maybe you shouldn’t have voted for republicans like if you don’t like how conservative it is then just leave” as if these states aren’t populated by black and brown people who face intense voter suppression and poor people who can’t just up and leave. not to mention the fact that all those articles y’all are sharing about the state of trans safety? those are in our states and we will be the ones who go down first. so instead of laughing at us dumb hicks from your liberal safe haven, consider instead shutting the fuck up and actually doing something to help us. because they’re coming for you next.

[bloodbluepearl]

i feel like people don't talk about the impactfulness of swansea immediately ditching his sobriety when he found out that the mouthwash had an alcohol content.

from the very beginning, he was accepting the idea of not getting out of the situation alive.

it takes a strong man to commit to sobriety, especially after 13 years of (presumably) heavy alcoholism, and an even stronger one to remain sober for 15 years, though he hadn't done it for his own enjoyment- that thought of him dead in some ditch somewhere because of some accident or another made while he was drunk out of his mind scared him into it, and pushed him to his decision. he enjoyed his time while drunk, but he knew that he wouldn't make it anywhere in his life and he knew that his time was running out (in many ways: he was getting older, so he would have less of his life left to steer himself in the right direction, and also the amount of alcohol he was drinking could kill him any day at that point, especially as he got older), so he put in the effort to try and 'better' himself- clean himself up, get everything he thinks 'successful' and 'happy' people have, and get sober.

of course, this doesn't make him a happier person, as much as he felt like it should. that was the entire point of his speech before his death- everything he worked for was a lot less exciting when he finally achieved it. but he stayed sober, because he knew that, in a more objective sense, outside of any of his own personal feelings about himself and his life and what he actually enjoyed, he was better off that way. he had more opportunities in life, he could keep a job, and he could maintain his relationships with his wife and kids much better than he could if he was still an alcoholic.

but when the ship crashed, he accepted that it was likely his final resting place, probably from the very beginning. he'd already had his shot at life, he already tried his best to be a model 'functioning member of society', and it was every bit as unfulfilling as it possibly could be. and now he was reaching his mid-life, or even late life. there wasn't much time left for him to be able to try and work toward an invisible goal of 'true happiness', whatever the hell that means. the way he saw it, he'd already lived his whole life. nothing more for him to do.

so when he found out that there was alcohol in the mouthwash, he barely hesitated a second. he drank it because THOSE were the best days of his life. he no longer worried about what kinds of consequences that such a relapse could cause, because at that point it didn't matter. he didn't care about continuing to live his 'model' life because that ship was his grave. he didn't have to worry about how it'd affect the relationship he had with his family, he didn't have to worry about being unable to get a job because he couldn't go half a day without drinking, he didn't have to worry about turning up dead in a ditch because of some mistake caused by his inebriation- it didn't matter in the end. the six months of food supply would run out far before the alcohol could kill him.

he did not for a second consider the possibility of him escaping the ship, even though he was the only person (for the majority of the game) that knew about the working cryo pod. it was never for him- he saw it as being a waste if he got in himself.

he'd already run his course. he would rather save it for someone with more potential to get somewhere in life, someone like daisuke or anya.

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[keefechambers]

I wanna be blunt about this ongoing James somerton suicide threat issue but I don't want to connect it to my IRL Twitter to comment on the dogshit takes I'm seeing there or the good and well meaning but maybe too kind takes I'm seeing here.

Obviously, I hope that this is a false alarm cry for help fake threat. Yes, it would reinforce that Somerton is a self-centered egomaniac who can't handle consequences but that's preferable to dead.

But I work in local news and let me tell you something. I've covered half a dozen family annihilating murder suicides and heard hundreds of men making suicide threats over police scanners and a huge swath of these don't happen because they're depressed or because people are mean to them on the Internet. They're punishment. A person with an enormous amount of entitlement towards people around them gets backed into a corner and they punish the people closest to them by killing themselves or threatening to kill themselves.

No one wants to talk about this feature of suicide because...you want to help people who are struggling and guide them away from this path and being blunt about the fact that sometimes people die of suicide as a consequence of their own shittiness towards the world does not really help actively suicidal people. But suicide rates are higher in men not just because they have higher rates of untreated mental illness (a societal issue we must address for the sake of all) but because some people, often men, use suicide (but more often the threat of suicide) as a tool of abuse and control.

I'm not saying somerton is like, an icky abuser bad guy, he's just a run of the mill grifter scumbag, but his actions in the past show a clear pattern of escalating behavior that aligns with this.

Somerton gets called out -> somerton alleges physical threats of violence against himself and his fans rally around him supportively -> Harry calls somerton out in a bigger way -> Somerton says he's hospitalized but there are inconsistencies with the story but no one wants to talk about that because you wanna be nice-ish about a guy who just tried to kill himself and now he's trying to be framed as tragic but it doesn't really stick -> somerton apologizes again but his apology is rightly called out for lies and manipulative framing as well as his continuing attempts to profit off the community he betrayed -> James posts a suicide note publicly putting the onus of his own suicide on the loss of his friend Nick who he repeatedly threw under the bus and now everyone is rallying to say nice-ish shit and wring their hands in concern over poor james -> indefinitely repeat this vicious cycle forever until he actually does die or finally gives up and gets real, intensive therapy and a day job.

Thats not to say anyone's concern is misplaced, it's 100% better for him to be a living scumbag than a dead one. He deserves the chance to grow and learn and have a life outside of youtube.

But you don't have to portray this as the action of a sad depressed man who got bullied off the Internet. It's manipulation, whether he intended to go through with it or not and whether someone intervened or not. Not denying that internet bullying is a thing, I'm sure there were some people who were shitty directly to James but he made the choice to not unplug from this and to try and keep being a public figure rather than taking care of himself. He could have deleted Twitter, blocked anyone who was an asshole, gone to therapy and tried to move on with his life but if he'd deleted his channel he'd have lost monetization... Can't have that, right? So he posts some apology videos so his channel stays active and then complains about how ruinous this is while never trying to take real accountability.

But the reality is that people would have forgotten about him so quickly and maybe his job prospects would've been impacted but...that's on him, and that's for him to figure out but it's not actually life ruining. He chose to continue to engage knowing he'd get backlash and hate and he'd feel worse and worse and things would never get better without the time and space for people to forget.

He made the choice to make a public spectacle of his own alleged suicide. That is the action of someone who wants to put the weight of their suicide on someone else's shoulders and is morally wrong. He can be held to account for that, alive or dead.

[specialagentartemis]

godddddd i have disliked becky chambers' work since long way to a small angry planet and I agree that that fish scene is SO much of what is wrong with contemporary SFF especially queer SFF. refreshing take, great review, thank you. would love to hear what authors or works you think of as the antidote to that sensibility.

The thing is, I enjoyed The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet when I first read it - it was a fun, light adventure, clearly a debut novel but I was excited to see where Chambers would go from there. And I actually really do think the sequel, A Closed and Common Orbit, was good! It did interesting things with AI personhood and identity.

... and then Chambers just kinda. Did not get better. She settled into a groove and has a set number of ideas that I feel like she hasn't broken out of, creatively. And they I M O kind of rest on an assumption that "human nature" = "how people act in suburban California."

As an antidote to that sensibility, I'd say... books where people have a real interrelationship with the land they inhabit, a sense of being present, and reciprocal obligations to that land; books that recognize that some things can never be taken back once done; books with well-drawn characters, where people have strong opinions deeply informed by their circumstances, that can't always be easily reconciled with others, and won't be brushed aside; books where these character choices matter, they impact each other, they cannot be easily gotten over, because people have obligations to each other and not-acting is a choice too.

And it's only fair that after all day of being a Hater I should rec some books I really did like.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - A man lives alone in an infinite House, over an equally infinite ocean. Captures the feeling that I think Monk & Robot was aiming for. Breathtaking beauty, wonder at the world, philosophy of truth, all that good stuff, and actually sticks the landing. The main character's love, attention, and care to his fantasy environment shows through in every page. (Fantasy, short novel)

Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie - An AI, the one fragment remaining of a destroyed imperial spaceship, is on a quest for revenge. Leckie gets cultural differences and multiculturalism, and conversely, what the imposition of a homogeneous culture in the name of unity means. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee - An army captain's insubordination is punished by giving her a near-impossible mission: to take down a rebelling, heretical sect holing up in a space fortress and defying imperial power. She gets a long dead brain-ghost of a notorious criminal downloaded into her head to help. Very, very good at making you feel like every doomed soldier was a person with a past, with a family, with feelings, with hopes and dreams and frustrations and favorites and preferences and reasons to live, right before they brutally die in a space war. Also very much about the imposition of homogeneity of culture as a force of imperialism. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

The Fortunate Fall by Cameron Reed - Maya Andreyevna is a VR journalist in high-tech dystopian future Russia, and she decides to investigate the truth that the government doesn't want her to. She might die trying. It's fine. Also has digital brain-sharing, this time in a gay way. It's bleak. It's sad. It feels real. Not making a choice is a choice. Backing out is a choice. And choices have consequences. Choices reverberate through history. About responsibility. (Cyberpunk, novel)

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez - Nia Imani is a spaceship captain, a woman out of time, a woman running from her past, and accidentally adopts a boy who has a strange power that could change the galaxy. Spaceship crew-as-found-family in the most heartbreaking of ways. Also about choices, how the choices you make and refuse to make shape you and shape the world around you. How the world is always changing around you, how the world does not stay still when you're gone, and when you come back you're the same but the world has moved on around you. About how relationships aren't always forever, and that doesn't mean they weren't important. About responsibility to others. It's a slow, sad book and does not let anyone rest on their laurels, ever. There is no end of history here. Everything is always changing, on large scales and small, and leaving you behind. (Space sci-fi, novel)

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui - A D&D style fantasy dungeon crawl that stops to think deeply about why there are so many dungeons full of monsters and treasure just hanging around. Here because it's an example of an author thinking through her worldbuilding a lot, and it mattering. Also because of the characters' respect for the animals they are are killing and eating, their lives and their place in the ecosystem, and the ways that humans both fuck up ecosystems with extraction and tourism, but also the ways that you can have reciprocal relationships of responsibility and care with the ecosystem you live in, even if it's considered a dangerous one. (Fantasy, manga series)

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang and How Long 'Til Black Future Month by N. K. Jemisin and Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel by Julian K. Jarboe - Short story anthologies that were SO good and SO weird and rewired the way I think. If you want the kind of stuff that is like, the opposite of easy-to-digest feel-good pap, these short stories will get into your brain and make you consider stuff and look at the world from new angles. Most of them aren't particularly upbeat, but there's a lot of variety in the moods.

"Homecoming is Just Another Word for the Sublimation of the Self," "Calf Cleaving in the Benthic Black," and "Termination Stories for the Cyberpunk Dystopia Protagonist" by Isabel J. Kim - Short stories, sci-fi mostly, that twist around in my head and make me think. Kim is very good at that. Also about choices and not-making-choices, about going and staying, about taking the easy route or the hard one, about controlling the narrative.

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells - Security robot with guns in its arms hacks itself free from its oppressive company, mostly wants to half-ass its job but gets sucked into drama, intrigue, and caring against its better judgement. This is on here because 1) I love it 2) I feel like it does for me what cozy sff so frequently fails to do - it makes me feel seen and comforted. It's hopeful and compassionate and about personal growth and finding community and finding one's place in the world, without brushing aside all problems or acting like "everybody effortlessly just gets along" is a meaningful proposal. also 3) because it is one of the few times I have yet seen characters from a hippie, pacifistic, eco-friendly, welcoming, utopian society actually act like people. The humans from Preservation are friendly, helpful, and motivated by truth and justice and compassion, because they come from a friendly, just, compassionate society, and they still actually act like real human beings with different personalities and conflicting opinions and poor reactions to stress and anger and frustration and fear and the whole range of human emotions rather than bland niceness. Also 4) I love it (space sci-fi, novella series mostly)

[just-a-ghost00]

Are they "spying" on you? Why?

I just felt called to do this reading very randomly. The theme is also very random. I just thought these pictures were just so adorable.

Group 1

Trust, Love, Surrender rx, Paradox & back of the deck Strength

They try not to. They try so hard. But they just can't resist the urge to check up on you. Watching you from afar is this person's guilty pleasure. Curiosity just gets the best of them. Even if they tell themselves "I should forget about group 1, I have other things to deal with", they constantly find themselves with their nose up in your business lmao Part of the reason why they stalk you is because this person feels a bit confused when it comes to you. They like you but paradoxically they kinda wish they didn't. This person has a hard time trusting others and opening their heart to people in general, especially romantically. They don't want to surrender to whatever may be going on between you but at the same time they just always feel called to come back to you. They just can't stay away from you no matter how hard they try, no matter the number of reasons they try to find to explain why they just should leave and never look back. They try resisting you so hard that it is painful to them. It just feels so unnatural to deny their feelings and attraction. But at the same time, this "love" doesn't make sense to them. I guess that they were surprised to meet you and didn't expect to get attached to you so quickly. And they may be viewing this attachment as a weakness for some reason. I just feel like this person is scared of being toyed with, being hurt and taken advantage of. Which is absolutely legitimate and understandable. Also, I'm getting that they check up on you because they want to see if you're in a similar state. If you too are also confused and feeling messed up ever since you met them. A part of them wants to be reassured and know whether they're alone in this situation or if you reciprocate the feeling. The truth is this person just adores you and somehow has a hard time coming to terms with that. I wonder why that is. Let's pull some tarot cards to get to the depth of this situation.

You got the ace of pentacles, White Numen, 3 of wands, 10 of cups, 2 of swords, Queen of cups.

They just have so many hopes and dreams for this connection that it scares them. Because they feel like it is too much too soon. They're not sure that they're allowed to have such thoughts of you. I feel like they're doubting their sanity in a way. Like "is it even healthy to think of group 1 this way when we don't know each other" kind of inner struggle. Because to this person you mean so much more than what they let on. Not only do they have feelings for you but they hope for a future with you. They want to take the connection to a higher level and see where this leads because they just feel so happy with you and safe. And it just feels like the right thing to do. However, maybe your attitude towards them lead them to believe that you may not be wanting the same thing. So they're puzzled. There's a dilemma going on here. "Should I keep hoping for more or should I just move on?" is what may be going through their mind. I also had the impression that there was another person playing a role in this indecision and confusion. Possibly another interest that they had in the past. And this person's energy is sometimes coming back in their bubble, which pushes this person to try to forget about you. But it's not as easy as they thought it would be. I feel like for others of you that third energy is actually distance. This person is scared of how living at a distance from one another could be impacting the connection. Like "yeah I like group 1 but what if that disappears with time since we don't see each other that much" kind of feeling. Also they may be scared that you end up picking someone else and when they do come in, it's too late for them. So that could also explain why they check up on you. They want to see if you found someone else. This spread also made me feel like this person puts you on a pedestal and feels like they're no match for you.

Group 2

The Weaver, Ask Body rx, Transmute, Shadow & back of the deck Pillar

I wanted to say no but the last two cards made me think otherwise. I feel like this person is not directly checking up on you but is getting information about you through their friends or through their intuition. Also, it could be that they don't actively seek out for you but even if they try not to check up on you, you just constantly appear on their feed or things just remind them of you. Similarily to group 1, I get the feeling of someone fighting the urge not to stalk. And this person is better at it than group 1's person. When they do check up on you, which I feel like doesn't happen very often, this person does their very best for you not to notice. So they could use fake accounts or apps that allow them to see your content without their name appearing in your notifications. I feel the reason why they act this way is because this person is trying to get their control back. It's like they had lost themselves in the connection and they feel like they have to heal from that. So they try to remain at a distance from you and try to keep the interactions at a minimal level. Cause they know that if they open the door, they'll just lose it. I feel like this person just wants to keep a hold on their desire for you. And rather than expressing their passion and pulling you in this spiral of lust, they would rather use this energy as a source of power and inspiration. I feel like they're trying to keep themselves busy and staying on the low. You may notice that this person is less active on their socials or if they do post, they're keeping things very surface level and kind of mysterious. Like they share stuff without sharing too much so it would be hard to really know what they're up to. I also picked up on the energy of someone releasing sexual tension through art or through their work. Or also through physical activity. This person may be hitting the gym more often. You may have noticed physical changes in their appearance. That's because they're trying to distract themselves from the effect you have on them. Since I pulled tarot cards for group 1, I will do the same for you as well.

You got White Numen, 8 of wands, Chariot rx, 9 of cups, Hierophant, ace of cups.

Boy I knew this spread was connected to group 1. If you hesitated between the two groups, you may want to check G1 then. This person got the feels but more importantly they got the hots for you, like really hots. This person is desparately fighting the urge to rush towards you and go down on you. There's so much that they want to say to you but they hold that back because they think you'll think they're crazy. This person daydreams about you 24/7. You're their wish fulfillment. You have everything that they dream of when it comes to their vision of what a partner should be like. This person definitely considers you commitment material and they just love you plain and simple. I have to mention that the 3 of cups is at the back of the deck. Just like in group 1, there's a third party energy here lurking in the shadows. This may be a past connection. But also, this could be that this person is trying to keep things friendly with you because they're just overwhelmed by how they feel towards you and it scares them. It's like they're trying to run away from their feelings and the way they do that is by drowning themselves in work, focusing on various activities at the time to make it look like they're not available for you. Again, I also get that friend group energy like this person's friends know you or something. Maybe they tell this person about how you're doing so that they don't have to feel guilty. Or actually, maybe their friends are trying to get this person to lower their guards down and actually give in to temptation when it comes to you. For some reason, I picked up on a friend saying stuff like "oh group 2 posted a picture, omg they're so beautiful" just to get this person to react. Maybe they even try to make them jealous by interacting with you. That feels a bit weird lmao but I feel like your person's friends are rooting for you and trying to get your person to talk to you. But this person is like "nah we're just friends, group 2 doesn't want me, it's better if we don't talk" and their friends are like "sure, who do you think you're kidding just go and talk to them dumbass".

Group 3

Manifest, Self Love, The Universe, Compassion & back of the deck Connect to heart

No, they are not stalking you. The reason for that is because this person is focused on their self growth, their health and their personal goals. They are doing their best to manifest their desired reality, thus they don't have much energy left to focus on you. This isn't to say that they do not like you. I feel like this person appreciates and values you but they just don't feel the need to check up on you and know every detail of what you're doing. I feel like this person has been through a lot lately and just needs to focus on themselves, to recharge their batteries and do what feels right for them. So they're just not up in your space and they mind their own business. This person is likely to be at a distance from you and you may not hear from them at all. Also I'm getting that this person feels connected to you spiritually so they feel like they don't have to stalk you because they already know deep down you're doing okay. They just intuitively know that you understand them and care about them just like they do. They also trust that you respect their privacy and need for space, so they're not worried and they just do their own thing in their little bubble. They may even have deleted their apps to avoid risking interacting with you. They just don't want to be distracted and they need the time and space to come back to their senses and to heal. I asked spirit for more details so I drew tarot cards just like I did for the previous groups.

You got 9 of cups, 4 of cups, knight of pentacles, 8 of cups, Star rx, White Numen.

This person is focused on their dreams and their emotional needs. They just felt disconnected from you and they didn't see any reason to keep going knowing that they weren't feeling it. So they pulled their energy back and poured it back into their own cup. This person has a lot of respect for you and is thankful for the time spent with you. However they just feel like they have to go their own way for the time being. They didn't see a purpose in trying to make the connection work when they didn't see anything come out of it. They thought it would be hurting you both for no reason. And this person didn't want to hurt you. Also they felt like there was no hope left for your connection and that they were called somewhere else. I'm also getting that their work is taking a lot of their attention and energy so this person just didn't have space for you in their life.

[cripplecharacters]

How do you think multi-use public restrooms could be reconfigured to better accommodate wheelchair/crutch/cane users in a roughly modern setting? (By multi-use, I mean the ones with a line of stalls rather than a whole room with one toilet).

I always thought it ironic that the large stall tends to be at the end of the line and believed it may be better to have that reversed (large stall first). Is that a sensical thought? What other suggestions would you have besides a lower sink and, of course, room to move the wheelchair/crutch/cane?

Although this setting is roughly modern in terms of technology ability and knowledge, feel free to provide your most creative answers. I'd even appreciate a difference between slight changes in real universe that would make an impact vs alternate modern universe where accessibility was thought of by default. All stalls are large? Better layout than a single file line of stalls? Etc.

Thank you for your time!

Hello!

I have... a LOT of thoughts about this. For reference, I use a cane full time and have used a wheelchair in the past when it was needed, though I no longer have access to it (I was borrowing my boyfriend's old one but have since moved cities).

So a few things:

Grab bars in every stall. These are the metal bars along the side of the stall that you usually see in accessible stalls. They're used to help people with stability/balance issues sit and stand from the toilet. There are a lot of people who only use the accessible stall because they need the support of the grab bars. If these were in every stall, it would open up the larger accessible stall for people who need it for the other supports (More space, the emergency call cord, etc.). These are relatively cheap and easy to install too.

Hand sanitizer dispensers in the accessible stall or, ideally, in every stall. These are another thing that's relatively cheap and easy to install and would benefit everyone. I usually carry hand sanitizer on me anyways because I dislike the idea of using my cane before washing my hands. This would also help people who have the same problem with their wheelchair (Not wanting to touch the wheels before washing their hands), people with sensitivities to hand soaps, and even just people who want to use them.

More accessible stalls. This one is a bit less realistic to hope for as it would be more expensive and difficult to change but it would also be one of the most beneficial, especially in places where there are lots of disabled people coming and going at once. I'm thinking places like hospitals, school accessibility offices, etc. but also places with large amounts of people in general like stadiums and event venues.

Also just more stalls in general. Especially in the men's washroom. I keep meaning to write a post about this for my own blog but it's an issue I think about a lot. It's 2024 and there's STILL a lot of men's washrooms where I live that either only have one stall (Usually an accessible stall) or don't have stalls at all. I'm sure it's some sort of 'ADA/AODA/whatever it is where you are' violation but it's also a problem for trans people, people that are shy, kids, people that just prefer to sit, the elderly, etc. It's kind of ridiculous that this is still a thing in 2024.

More actual fully accessible washrooms. These are not at all feasible for a multiuse washroom (The kind you're referring to) but should be in addition to one. With this, I'm referring to a large washroom with adult-sized changing tables, emergency call cords, lots of space, large garbage cans, sharps containers, etc. This is something that I rarely see even in hospitals but it's so important for people that have caretakers and need that extra support. As for the sharps container, it can be very beneficial for people that need to inject medication and it's something I wish that more places had. (My general alternative is to cap the needle and return it to my "pouch" in a separate pocket from the unused ones)

Having everything in reach of the toilet. By this, I mean things like toilet paper, garbage bins, sinks (If they're in the stall), hand sanitizer dispensers, etc. This is usually already the case with toilet paper and such but it's incredibly annoying and difficult to navigate when this isn't the case.

Also just having garbage bins in all stalls (Or, at least, in all washrooms). A lot of women's washrooms already have this in some capacity but most men's washrooms don't even have a garbage bin in the main section of it (Outside the stalls). This is another thing that would be incredibly easy and cheap to do and would help so many people including disabled people that need to discard medical supplies (Catheters and incontinence supplies are the big ones that come to mind since it's not sanitary or easy to discard of them elsewhere whereas you can easily pocket an empty medication bottle or bandage remnants to throw away later), people who need to throw away sanitary products, even just people who use toilet paper to blow their nose or something. There's literally so many uses and I don't see any downside to this at all.

More hooks in stalls to hang things like jackets and bags. This is something I see a lot in the regular stalls but strangely not as often in the accessible stalls. Which... seems especially odd to me as a lot of us rely on things like small, over-the-shoulder bags and fanny packs as we don't always have access to both hands to carry things. These would also be beneficial to hang things like canes (I'm mostly thinking of white canes, which usually have a fabric loop on the end) while using the toilet. This is another super cheap and easy thing that can be done and would benefit everyone.

More accessible doors to washrooms. For whatever reason a lot of the multi-use washrooms where I live don't have accessible doors and it's incredibly frustrating and inconvenient to be fighting for my life to open a door when I already need to pee. Just... not fun.

The placement of the accessible stalls is an issue too, just usually not in the way most people would assume. At least for my boyfriend and I, it's more of a problem when the washrooms are crowded. I'm thinking of our recent experience at a concert where we had to navigate through the crowd to reach the very far end where the stall was. Not a huge thing or something that happens all that often, but it is annoying.

The other thing that comes to mind is lower sinks and also having the paper towels, hand dryers, or what not closer to the sinks. It's incredibly annoying and uncomfortable to have to use a cane, wheelchair, or crutches when you have soggy hands just to get to the dryer. This isn't something that's too hard to implement in most cases but it could be expensive depending on what drying method is used (Such as hand dryers versus paper towel dispensers). This is another reason that I usually use my hand sanitizer instead.

Aside from the facilities themselves (And this is less for mobility disabilities and more general accessibility), things like having braille on the signs as well as clear symbols if the washroom is separated by male vs female. None of those minimalistic aesthetic ones. Not everyone can differentiate by those.

There are countless others but I think I've spoken enough about this for one post 😅. Hopefully some of this is helpful.

Cheers!

~ Mod Icarus

[osokasstuff]

sex is a social construct.

there is no such thing as a single biological sex(tm), which includes all the sex traits (and social stuff associated with having these sex traits). there are a lot of sex traits that often happen to co-occur, but there are no inevitable necessity in it.

sex is a social construct. no single sex trait guarantees the presentation of another. XX chromosomes don't guarantee having a vagina, or not having a penis, or having ovaries, or not having testes, etc. sex traits are connected by long chains of factors, and change in every factor can impact anything. it's very, very complicated, and i'm done with the useless and harmful simplification of it.

hot take, but "sex" is bullshit. "sex" as a singular is fucking bullshit. people who try to appeal to "sex" as some kind of biological reality are misinformed as fuck. chromosomes are biological reality. organs and body parts are biological reality. hormones and hormonal receptors are biological reality. but sex? no. sex is completely made up.

i'm so done with chromosome investigation. like, you have a really long and complicated chain of consequences that leads to body look and functions, and you randomly pick the very first link of it and proclaim it as the most true proof of someone sex(tm)? "but chromosomes—" FUCK YOU chromosomes there are genes which encode having a tail in your chromosomes, should we treat you like a basically walking tail? and oh, you DON'T KNOW your chromosomes if you weren't cariotyped, so suck your shit in and sit still. no, your [insert genitals] doesn't prove you have [insert chromosomes] even if you were born with them. live in fear like we do.

single "sex" is so rude round-up that it should be considered a math nonsense. it's disappointing to see advocation for the usage of "sex" in the medical/scientific field because it literally creates false expectations and wrong conclusions.

examples:

(1) "males are more at risk of being color blind"

(2) "females are more at risk of developing osteoporosis"

these statements are medical concerns. they're seen as "scientifical truth." but what do they actually refer to? and how doctors (who were taught these ideas) will treat them?

(1) actually refers to genes. having two X chromosomes passed from two parents makes it less likely to be color blind because accotiated proteins are encoded in X chromosome. more variety (2X chromosomes from different parents) -> more opportunities to have working genes. does it have something with having a vagina or gender mark in legal papers? NO. but what will doctors do when they see a patient and assess the likelihood of them being color blind? cariotype them or look at their papers/appearance? it's not so important with color blindness because it gets evaluated by special images, but there are tons of other conditions associated with having or not having 2X chromosomes passed from different parents, and doctors may not assume/less likely assume them because of your fucking single "sex".

(2) actually refers to hormone levels. estrogen increases the risk of calcium loss from bones. does it have anything to do with genitalia or gender mark or appearance or whatever? NO. and the field for mistake is huge.

and there are more. every time when actual medical guides refer to "sex," they actually mean tons of different traits (and sometimes tons of prejudices, too). but people shove all of them under the single "sex" label, and it erases all real factors underlying these correlations. it misinformes people who need to be properly informed.

and advocating for this shitty awful idea as for a "biological reality" even from trans* people? it's so disheartening.

sex is no more biological than gender. sex is no more real than gender. sex is a social construct, and it's awful, oppressive, violent, and misinforming one.

i can see some positive things in gender. not gender roles, or pressure, or expectations, or oppressive systems, just gender. because it's identity & performance. it's a way for people to express and explain themselves. but sex? sex is awful, useless, and give us literally less than nothing.

abolish the sex.

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[rosesnbooks]

🩷Cancer placements🩷

disclaimer: i am not a professional and these are some observations i've read over the years and/or noticed in people i know♋

🐚Sun in cancer-they feel things deeply, and they're both vulnerable and strong because of it. people tend to underrestimate them a lot and this frustrates them. nevertheless, if well-developed, they are strong and loving people. family plays an important role in their lives, there is a certain attachment they cannot escape, nor do many of them want to. they don't reveal their true selves to the public completely because they want to uphold a certain image and protect their heart. when they try to use their emotions for creative outlets, they excell in it since their style is raw and imaginative: once they express this side of them, you'll feel their emotions like you're experiencing them too. they can hold grudges and be passive aggressive at their worst. because it takes them time to process things, who knows how long it would take for them to forgive someone. they can be so kind that it melts you completely and catches you off guard. it's so easy to love them. may be quite impressionable so they need to watch out for that

🐚Moon in cancer-very sensitive, caring, giving, and emotional. they are indeed intuitive, but they tend to come up with false impressions/conclusions because they lead with their emotions, which clouds their intuition. they love profoundly and they romanticize love a lot. it means a lot to them and therefore, it is one of their main focuses in life. they tend to idealize their crushes though. once people realize how kind they actually are, some of them try to use them. others appreciate their affections greatly. they can be ambitious when they put their mind to it. creative outlets help them explore their emotions in ways they maybe couldn't process on their own, which makes them satisfied and happy. they are very nostalgic and collect things that remind them of certain memories and people. it takes time for them to get over things and it impacts them heavily, which is why they need to have the right support around them and they need to focus on themselves in such times.

🐚Ascendant/rising in cancer-you can tell that they're cancer rising because they seem kind and sensitive, and their gaze is usually soft. they have a sweet smile too. they try to keep up with their good manners, even when they're not a fan of the person they're talking to. people tend to underestimate them because of this, which might provoke them to change their image (make it darker/more serious) if under-developed. they care about their family image in public and keeping well connections with relatives. they usually have a romantic or academic fashion style, just something that I noticed. very charming individuals who like to idealize a lot and see the best in people. also, i think that their personality is visible once they start talking to you, but their resting face may not be approachable always lol

🐚Mercury in cancer-their memory is outstanding. they just tend to memorize anything, and if you're someone really close to them, they'll use this memory to show just how much they care about you. they have an emotional way of thinking so they do take everything personally. they can jump to conclusions because of this, even if their intuition tells them otherwise. they tend to doubt themselves and their abilities even though they are really smart and capable. if developed, they can use their logical and emotional side to lead a conversation healthily. for example, they can express how they feel and if they think you're worthy of their respect, they'll approach the topic carefully so that they don't hurt you. they are really careful with words in this scenario. however, if they feel very wronged or if you talked to them while they were in a vulnerable state, they'll snap and say hurtful things because they know which buttons to push, but they feel awful afterward if they care about you. other than that, there is so much to learn from these loving individuals because they are so complex and they have a lot to give. lastly, they need to be more optimistic and not expect the worst. sometimes missed opportunities are what one needs to gain something even better later on, but yeah sometimes bad things happen too but that's a part of life. don't dwell too much on things you can't control

🐚Venus in cancer-they would give everything for their partner. they are very romantic and love their partner no matter what. that being said, they sometimes tolerate too many things due to love. this is a cliche, but most of these people want a family of their own one day, or at least a found family. they like to take care of the people they love and be there for them. they have a lot to give and not all people are like that, so it probably takes them more time than they'd like to admit to find the one who is right for them. they fantasize about romance a lot and probably have an idea of a partner they'd like. their person would have to pay lots of attention to them and accept their strong emotions without shaming them. they also need to make sure that no matter how many yeard they spend together, they should go on dates and cherish each other. venus in cancer may love cheesy and personal romantic gestures-something that is timeless but also lets the person know that they care about them. at their worst, this placement can be aggressive and manipulative, so they need to look out for that

🐚Mars in cancer-they remember everything you ever said or done, so be careful if you want to mess with them. they are really smart and ambitious, they have dreams that they wish to achieve one day and despite the obstacles they face, they have good discipline and therefore, they manage to succeed in the things they worked hard for. they can be very passive-aggressive if you disappoint them because they expect you to understand them on a deeper level since they try to do the same for the people they love. seriously, people don't talk enough about how dedicated they are to their dreams and loved ones. they can be very rational and logical, which blends amazingly with their sensitive and intuitive side (lots of empathy as well). make sure you let them know how much you love them with actions and words if you want a healthy relationship of any kind with this placement. they want people around them who make them feel safe and loved, just like family. anything less than that isn't enough

🐚Saturn in cancer-they get carried away by their emotions often, and cannot hide it really well. many people don't/didn't cherish their kindness and selflessness which hurts them greatly. they need to stand up for themselves because if they do not, they may harbor a lot of resentment which could lead to bad outcomes with those they love. wearing your heart on your sleeve and wanting the best for everyone is not a weakness, but please take care of your heart because you deserve it too. this placement can be quite intense when angry. their family has a strong influence on their life, whether good or bad. nevertheless, at least one family member is super important to them, possibly even the most important person in their life.

🐚Jupiter in cancer-they thrive best when they are true to themselves and their feelings-especially when they are not ashamed of them and simply accept them. they are very caring and thoughtful, it's addicting to be around them. besides their emotional intelligence, they are very smart in general and this helps them so much in life. their connections can be really strong and beneficial. they may be quite spiritual and interested in such topics. astrology could also be one of their passions because they could excel in it and understand it easily. may have strong connections with their family, whether one member or several (or many haha). could also have strong connections with their past and ancestors, just something i've read once.

thank you for reading this, and i'm looking forward to your feedback🩷

©rosesnbooks

[reasonsforhope]

Flint, Michigan, has one of the [United States]'s highest rates of child poverty — something that got a lot of attention during the city's lead water crisis a decade ago. And a pediatrician who helped expose that lead problem has now launched a first-of-its-kind move to tackle poverty: giving every new mother $7,500 in cash aid over a year.

A baby's first year is crucial for development. It's also a time of peak poverty.

Flint's new cash transfer program, Rx Kids, starts during pregnancy. The first payment is $1,500 to encourage prenatal care. After delivery, mothers will get $500 a month over the baby's first year.

"What happens in that first year of life can really portend your entire life course trajectory. Your brain literally doubles in size in the first 12 months," says Hanna-Attisha, who's also a public health professor at Michigan State University.

A baby's birth is also a peak time for poverty. Being pregnant can force women to cut back hours or even lose a job. Then comes the double whammy cost of child care.

Research has found that stress from childhood poverty can harm a person's physical and mental health, brain development and performance in school. Infants and toddlers are more likely than older children to be put into foster care, for reasons that advocates say conflate neglect with poverty.

In Flint, where the child poverty rate is more than 50%, Hanna-Attisha says new moms are in a bind. "We just had a baby miss their 4-day-old appointment because mom had to go back to work at four days," she says...

Benefits of Cash Aid

Studies have found such payments reduce financial hardship and food insecurity and improve mental and physical health for both mothers and children.

The U.S. got a short-lived taste of that in 2021. Congress temporarily expanded the child tax credit, boosting payments and also sending them to the poorest families who had been excluded because they didn't make enough to qualify for the credit. Research found that families mostly spent the money on basic needs. The bigger tax credit improved families' finances and briefly cut the country's child poverty rate nearly in half.

"We saw food hardship dropped to the lowest level ever," Shaefer says. "And we saw credit scores actually go to the highest that they'd ever been in at the end of 2021."

Critics worried that the expanded credit would lead people to work less, but there was little evidence of that. Some said they used the extra money for child care so they could go to work.

As cash assistance in Flint ramps up, Shaefer will be tracking not just its impact on financial well-being, but how it affects the roughly 1,200 babies born in the city each year.

"We're going to see if expectant moms route into prenatal care earlier," he says. "Are they able to go more? And then we'll be able to look at birth outcomes," including birth weight and neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admissions.

Since the pandemic, dozens of cash aid pilots have popped up across the nation. But unlike them, Rx Kids is not limited to lower-income households. It's universal, which means every new mom will get the same amount of money. "You pit people against each other when you draw that line in the sand and say, 'You don't need this, and you do,' " Shaefer says. It can also stigmatize families who get the aid, he says, as happened with traditional welfare...

So far, there's more than $43 million to keep the program going for three years. Funders include foundations, health insurance companies and the state of Michigan, which allocated a small part of its federal cash aid, known as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families.

Money can buy more time for bonding with a baby

Alana Turner can't believe her luck with Flint's new cash benefits. "I was just shocked because of the timing of it all," she says.

Turner is due soon with her second child, a girl. She lives with her aunt and her 4-year-old son, Ace. After he was born, her car broke down and she was seriously cash-strapped, negotiating over bill payments. This time, she hopes she won't have to choose between basic needs.

"Like, I shouldn't have to think about choosing between are the lights going to be on or am I going to make sure the car brakes are good," she says...

But since she'll be getting an unexpected $7,500 over the next year, Turner has a new goal. With her first child, she was back on the job in less than six weeks. Now, she hopes she'll be able to slow down and spend more time with her daughter.

"I don't want to sacrifice the time with my newborn like I had to for my son, if I don't have to," she says."

-via NPR, March 12, 2024

[ceilidho]

This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol

first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.

i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.

second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.

one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.

and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!

additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.

plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).

there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.

and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.

and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.

as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.

[yuespropagandablog]

Hello esteemed mutual. If you are reading this, then that means my propaganda is working. But you might still have questions, so I am here to answer them.

What is Falsettos?

A damn good musical.

But time to get serious. It's a sung-through musical written by William Finn and James Lapine, with Lapine also writing the music and lyrics. Falsettos is a two-act musical, like many, but it's important here because Falsettos is actually two musicals in one. The first act is March of the Falsettos, and the second act is Falsettoland. These are the last two installments of the Marvin Trilogy. The first part, In Trousers, flopped on off-Broadway and is also not part of Falsettos. Are you following?

The first acts centers on a Jewish man named Marvin (the main character of the Marvin Trilogy, who would've thought) and his homosexual relation with Whizzer, and how that impacts the family. He's left his wife Trina and son Jason to be with Whizzer, but Marvin is also Marvin, and loves to have a tight-knit family that includes all of them, but fails to see how his wish impacts the others. The second act takes place two years after the first and it's all about Jason's bar mitzvah, but oh, oh no, it's a homosexual story set in the 80s. Yeah folks, I am going to be upfront: this musical does not have a happy ending. Spoiler. I know. But I just want people to know what they're getting themselves into.

The show has a lot to say about gay life in the 70s and 80s, gender roles and masculinity, traditional family, illness, and Judaism. Yes, you cannot separate the Judaism from this show, no matter how hard a Spanish production tries.

Where can I watch it?

The original Falsettos debuted in 1992 on Broadway. I know it from its 2016 Broadway revival. There are, uh, slime tutorials for both (and also for In Trousers if you're interested), and the 2016 version also got a proshot that was aired on PBS, so they did have to censor some language. RIP "You save lives and I save chicken fat, I can't fucking deal with that", you will forever be missed. This link totally definitely does not lead to a YouTube upload of that proshot, what do you mean?

There are also a bunch of other productions, sometimes with footage, sometimes not. I actually saw the Dutch version in 2021 in Amsterdam (probably while I had COVID, but in my defense, I tested negative before I boarded my train!)

Is there a trailer or something?

Yes, here's a trailer for the proshot.

Here is their Tony performance, which is also my favourite song of the show:

(They did take out the "Lighbulb up the ass" and "I can't fucking deal with that", because America is America. But at least we got Andrew Rannell's boner in return?)

And for funsies, here's the Tony Awards performance of the OBC:

(They did censor the words "homosexuals" and "lesbians", unless that was the original lyrics. I dunno. I am not very familiar with the original one.)

You implied AIDS. Are there other content warnings?

Yes. AIDS will be the main theme of the second act. You can ignore it by just turning off the show after the song What More Can I Say, but that is obviously not the full show. There's also some period-typical homophobia, as in in act one, Jason is afraid that his father's homosexuality is a fatal hereditary disease. There are also a lot of dysfunctional relationship dynamics in act one, including one instance of physical abuse. Act two has the AIDS of it all and because of that, the major character death warning.

But is there also fun to be had?

Yes, definitely! One thing that makes Falsettos a good show is the tonal whipslash. Both act one and act two start out as the funniest shit you've ever seen and then BAM, drama. It is kind of impressive how the show does that. It has stellar comedic songs like Four Jews in a Room Bitching, My Father's A Homo/Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist, I'm Breaking Down, Jason's Therapy, Year of the Child, Miracle of Judaism, The Baseball Game, A Day in Falsettoland, Everybody Hates His Parents and whatever the fuck March of the Falsettos (the song) is.

The first half of both acts you can't stop laughing and the second half of both acts you can't stop crying. That's Falsettos, baby!

Does the music slap?

Oh yeah. It is a fully sung-through musical. If that's not your jam, then you're better off skipping it. It also has a more "traditional" musical theatre sound, whatever that might mean. As you saw in the previous section, it has a lot of great comedic songs, with stellar lyrics like "Look, look, look, look, look, it's a lesbian from next door!/Followed by her lover who's a lesbian from next door too!", "Hepa-hepa-hepatitis-hepatitis?", "We're watching Jewish boys who cannot play baseball play baseball", "You have paintings of dicks!/Don't talk to me about taste!", "Lightbulbs in the ass!", the entire "You are going to kill your mother" section, "Homosexuals!!!!!" and of course the opening line of the entire show "Four Jews in a room bitching". And many more. But don't be fooled, because this song also has some emotional bangers (mostly in the second part of the acts due to the aforementioned tonal shift).

Are there German characters in this musical?

Mendel's last name Weisenbachfeld sounds German. Is that close enough?

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've said multipe times now (here and here) that thinking nmj is just so blinded by privilege he doesn't undertand that acting out of line gets people killed is, in my opinion, a misunderstanding of his character that ignores the part where he's, you know, actively dying the whole time and thinks that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean I don't think privilege plays no role at all in how he views the world.

Specifically, his view that death (at least premature or violent death) means something.

Death isn't always a tragedy to NMJ, but it is always meaningful. If you kill an evil dangerous person for your righteous cause, that death had meaning. There was evil in the world and now there is less of it. Similarly, if you die in the pursuit of your righteous cause, that death has meaning, because the sheer dedication you gave to it that you were willing to die for it will further that cause, and your bretheren will be invigorated by your sacrifice to fight even harder.

If a death isn't meaningful, that's an injustice and it is up to the living to give it meaning. That's what cuts so deep about his father's murder. There were no consequences, no changes, no meaning. Wen Ruohan was just going to get away with it! He fights and wins an entire war to make it mean something, to make it so that the unjust murder of Nie Mingjue's father is part of Wen Ruohan's downfall.

But this is a view he can only hold because he's the kind of person who's death will be meaningful. Most ordinary people's deaths are meaningless. Not ontologically, not inherently, but they are made meaningless because no one cares. For death to be meaningful you either have to be so powerful that anything you risk your life for will be impacted in some way. (Like, say, if you sacrifice a long life for immense martial power in a faustian bargain with a blade) Or if people with that kind of power care enough about you to do so for you. For most people, this isn't true. A starving street kid has no power to change the unfair world that put them there, even if they risk their life trying, and no one will do it for them once they die.

Nie Mingjue knows this in abstract, and of course rightfully believes it's wrong. But all that does is make it yet another righteous cause people should be willing to die for. Everyone's deaths should mean something, we'll make it so or die trying!

This is what the conflict between nieyao is about at its core. Because Jin Guangyao, fundamentally, cannot conceive of his own death as meaningful. Nie Mingjue grew up around powerful men who could change the world but refuse to do so because god forbid they risk a single hair on their perfect heads. Meng Yao, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where no one of importance would blink twice if you died. He was surrounded by meaningless death. Indeed his entire early life is defined by that lack of care.

Meng Shi dies and no one cares. Meng Yao gets thrown off a flight off stairs and no one cares. He has to be the one to do the caring, and once he's gone no one else will do it for him.

So he has to live.

Jin Guangyao eventually gets far enough that he actually does aquire the power to change some things... as long as he's alive. If he changes too much, holds on too tightly to his ideals, he'll die and it'll all be for nothing. He can't sacrifice himself for his goals because doing so would immediately render those goals unobtainable. No one will care about what he tried to do. He won't be a heroic sacrifice, he'll just be trash that finally cleaned itself up.

And well... Nie Mingjue dies, and someone makes it mean something. Makes it mean so much that the entire story of mdzs would not exist without it. Jin Guangyao dies and it doesn't mean anything. Most people are glad to be rid of him, and the few that are not don't do anything to change that.