osokasstuff

[osokasstuff]

Let's talk about colonizer mindsets in the aspec community real quick:

By this I mean, the need to assert dominance over other sexualities and romantic orientations instead of focusing on the most marginalised aspecs and giving us the support and resources to battle multiple oppressions at once. This idea that being aspec gives you authority to attack or punch at people who do experience that form of attraction that you have little to none of because of amatonormativity, compulsory sexuality etc. and that it's 'punching up', even if the allo group is oppressed too.

Black aspec activism is grounded in community. Pretty much every Black aspec theorist ever has stated the fact that sex and romance are circumstantial. As Black people, we are shunned for both having sexual attraction and little to none of it, having romantic attraction and little to none of and so on and do forth. Black asexuals, Black aromantics, Black agender people etc. all share this white supremacist control of our bodies. It can never be simple binary of allo = oppressor, aspec = oppressed for us. It's vital that Black alloaces, Black aroaces, Black aroallos, Black non-SAM users and Black allorose people have shared solidarity because none of our sexualities are accepted under white supremacy.

But a LOT of aspec tumblr really doesn't wanna interrogate their anti allo sentiments, even when it harms alloaces and alloaros too. From the hip hop moral panic a lot of white asexuals had issues with coming to terms with the fact that Black allosexuals are still oppressed and refused to accept they could be antiblack to them. (Hell, some of them are still denying it to this day). Just today I've had issues with non-Black aroallos trying to make excuses towards acephobia towards alloaces even though our romo attraction isn't accepted bc we're ace (and some of us have a bunch of other identities on top of it too)

This is how we end up with things like anti-sex Black stripe asexuality groups and things like the Aro Manifesto saying romance is intrinsically oppressive and should be abolished.

Sex and romance are not protected classes. They are privileged and oppressed depending on the context they exist in. A white allosexual can participate in sexuality in a way a Black allosexual cannot. A straight alloromantic can participate in romance in a way that a lesbian alloromantic cannot. You can't really be anti allosexual, anti alloromantic or anti allorose in general without harming the 2nd groups, who are already oppressed. Some of you aren't actually looking for romantic and sexual freedom for all, you are seeking to control sex and romance in the same way your aspec identity is controlled and restricted and because of all your unpacked bigotry, you project this onto marginalised forms of sex and romance, including Black allorose people.

TL:DR - The solution to enforced cisheterosexual romance and sex will never be the abolition of sex and romance itself or to attack marginalised allo groups. It must be sexual and romantic freedom for everybody, the right to not have it *and* the right to have it. None of us are free until all of us are free etc etc.

[osokasstuff]

People who don't recieve care (in the disability sense) often love portraying care as some warm fuzzy bonding thing between Brave Honourable Caregiver and Grateful Little Cripple when 99.99% of the time it's never like that and it's so frustrating

Especially when people who don't need care, they say they want care because they think it will make them feel loved or looked after or something

And sure. There's an element of comfort that I get knowing that I can rely on my family and loved ones to make sure I am physically safe and living (not comfortable – safe. As in, "won't accidently wander into a road")

But the care I receive and assistance I get from them isn't some magical daily bonding moment. It's just daily routine.

Especially if you need assistance with activities of daily living. I don't (usually) but my friends who do, they also say that it isn't a wonderful Hallmark moment every time someone helps them transfer into their chair, it's just life

And I'm not saying that care, especially when it's from loved ones, is completely impersonal

But it's not the warm, beautiful, birds singing, sun shining in the background, magical moment every time

Do not add onto this post unless you also receive care for disability or if you provide care! Disabled people who don't need care, that includes you.

Talking about experience with different levels and types of care is fine + encouraged because I'm mostly speaking from my experience of having informal care from my family for physical + cognitive disability

[osokasstuff]

Just saw a post saying “minors shouldn’t identify as aro/ace” and I wanted to say… fuck you.

No look, okay I get why some people don’t want minors in certain spaces, and that’s fine. DNI minors then, if you want to.

But you can identify as anything at anytime in your life. It doesn’t hurt anyone to identify as one thing and then realise you’re another. It’s growth. Your identity will change as you age. It’s normal. And if it doesn’t? That’s also normal.

Also, from 13-18 (minors in most countries) is the most complexly romantic and sexual time. Obviously I’m not going into detail as again MINORS. But teenagers undergo the most change is hormones, emotional growth, romantic and sexual interest then any other age.

In my opinion, teenage years is when you’re MOST LIKELY to figure out you’re aro/ace. It’s the MOST LIKELY time to question your identity in general. Obviously, again, no age limit, but it’s the most common time for self discovery.

It’s called a “coming of age” story for a reason.

[osokasstuff]

I am Kareman Dohan، From besieged Gaza

I record this message in the 21st century, specifically in the year 2025, fully aware and in sound mind. I hereby testify, confess, and declare that a criminal entity—ruled by violent gangs—has revived the horrors of Nazism, and has even surpassed them. For over 600 days, it has committed one of the greatest atrocities of our modern age, in a place called Gaza. They murdered our children before our men, our women before our youth. They destroyed homes, displaced families, and starved the innocent. And this brutal campaign has not stopped—not even as I speak these words. The world today counts more than 8.2 billion people, Yet not a single force has been able to stop the bloodshed, or protect the defenseless.

I call upon every free soul, every conscience still alive, Spread this message far and wide.

Speak up. Act.

Support my people. Support my family.

Let your silence not be another weapon used against us.

Silence is complicity.

Solidarity is a duty.

Donate to my family and my little boy, donation links below the post or by clicking here

Short video of 600 days of war

Donate here🌸:

GoFundMe: Click here

PayPal: Click here

Chuffed: Click here

My campaing vetted by/ @90-ghost here @gaza-evacuation-funds here My number in post 6

[osokasstuff]

💪✍️🏃‍♀️‍➡️

Lots of non-autistic individuals know that autism itself can affect a person’s mental health, personality, language abilities and sensory processing. But less of them know that autism can also directly affect gross motor skills (Walking, running, lifting things, etc.) and fine motor skills (Writing, tying shoelaces, using a spoon, etc.). Lots of people undereducated on autism think it’s just a thing that has mental traits when in reality, it can greatly affect physical traits and skills too! I always look down when walking to avoid tripping on ground objects, I can’t do typical typing (On a keyboard, I peck one key at a time, my typing classes in elementary school didn’t help), I’d say my biggest concern between the 2 is my fine motor skills (I get very frustrated using my hands, I hated sewing class). I love video games like Pokémon but I’m bad at quick decision making (In Legends Arceus, I couldn’t play because it was too much too fast, I prefer the turn based system of the main games). My processing is somewhat slow and being under pressure doesn’t help. Overall, I’m still looking into doing special motor exercises and activities at 23, even if I don’t get better, at least I won’t get worse

[osokasstuff]

i need to vent about my recent experience with inpatient because it was so much more authoritarian and punitive than my other experiences with inpatient.

because of the nature of my suicide attempt, i was sent to the adult intensive unit (AIU), made for people with higher support needs than what can the typical inpatient setting can “handle.” this includes people with schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, drug-induced psychosis, and suicidal people who have made serious attempts on their lives (as opposed to the attempt survivors whose crises apparently weren’t that serious. very subjective, but i digress)

my first two or three days of my stay i was on room lockout, meaning that while i technically had a bed on the unit, i wasn’t allowed to use it. instead, i had to sleep on a hard plastic chair in the middle of the day room. their reasoning for this is that they needed to keep multiple eyes on me at all times. it was only after my mother called and complained multiple times that they magically decided i was able to be trusted to sleep on a soft surface, and i was given access to my bed.

a few hours prior to this, though, i had a very nonviolent crashout. i was crying and saying that i didn’t want to live, a very bad thing to say in the space meant for suicidal people. the charge nurse was so “nice” (heavy sarcasm there) to give me the option of getting an injection of ativan or to be put in physical restraints. again, i want to reiterate that my behavior was not an immediate danger to myself or anyone else, the only thing i was doing was crying and expressing i was suicidal. and the AIU team found this to be enough of a threat that i needed either chemical or physical restraint. i chose chemical restraint, was given the shot of ativan, passed out, and woke up a few hours later back in my designated sleeping chair to a different nurse telling me i could now move to my bedroom. from there on i did not say a single word about my suicidal thoughts because i knew it would be met with punishment. i masked my pain for the comfort of those who were supposed to help me.

not related to me specifically, but a few days later, i was in the day room with another patient who was actively hallucinating. his hallucinations were lighthearted in nature, making him laugh and say, “you’re so funny!” over and over. this is a very bad thing to do in the space meant for people with psychoses. the nurse called out to him, saying “[name]! who are you talking to, buddy?” in a very scolding parental voice that had the undertone of “you better stop that right now.” even though this patient was safe and happy, the mere presence of him displaying symptoms was a reason to yell at him.

inpatient facilities are not healing spaces. they’re spaces that are meant to maintain control and order.

[osokasstuff]

I know we are all used to hear bad news from the USA or UK when it comes to trans rights but this time Germany wants to play in the same league.

Our idiots at home ministry came up with the fucking idea to start a register for all transgender and nonbinary people which would mean every person working at some public position could always at any given time see your assigned gender at birth, your deadname, your address and who knows what else.

We had been there in the past. Hitler Germany called it the "Travestite Law" back then. Our politicians didn't learn.

We all know this is unacceptable.

Please, if you are German, sign it. If you are not, spread it wide and far.

This had been stopped once a few years ago. It needs to be stopped again.

[osokasstuff]

[osokasstuff]

Hey guys something fucking bad happened

KOSA/the kids online safety act has been reintroduced into legislature after it passed Senate last year and then got snubbed. It is not unlike the bill that just passed in the UK a few weeks ago. If you don't want what happened in the UK to happen here, now would be a good time to vocally oppose it.

Here is a petition that can be signed by Americans. Attached to the petition is an easy tool that allows you to call and leave messages for your representatives. I have already done so. You can also email your representatives by searching for their name, most have message submission boards as well. This thing died once, it can die again.

Please sign/share the petition and contact your representatives.

[osokasstuff]

happy birthday to me

[osokasstuff]

friendly reminder that semiverbal doesn't mean "sometimes can speak verbally and sometimes not."

semiverbal means that someone struggles with speech constantly. all the time. it's permanent state.

these struggles may be more or less noticeable. but they present constantly anyway.

semiverbal people may have verbal shutdowns/speech loss episodes. aka we may have periods of time when we can't speak at all. but it isn't what makes us semiverbal. our constant struggles with speech make us semiverbal. people with any level of verbality may have verbal shutdowns.

[osokasstuff]

it's possible to be level 2/3 msn/hsn autistic & be dependent on others in bADLs, need constant care and supervision, etc. & still have autistic pride and don't want cure.

people use us as talking point to defend searches for cure of autism. because our lives seem miserable & not worthy & "who can possibly want to have such life." it's offensive and ableist. it isn't true. our lives are not inherently unhappy. our lives are not inherently unhappy because of our autism specifically. yes it's disability. yes it's disabling. yes it affects us greatly. but we still can be ok with being autistic. we still can feel that autism is connected with our personalities very deeply. that we wouldn't be ourselves without autism. we can find upsides in our autism. we can like our autism.

and people who argue with rhetoric "we need cure of autism because autistics can't go to the bathroom/toilet/do other bADLs by themselves" don't have to deny our experience and treat it as some kind of mockery and offensive assumption (that some autistics can't do these things themselves). because lots of autistic people do struggle with these things and it still doesn't make them want to cure.

this rhetoric about cure is still ableist. because instead of making lives of autistic (and other disabled) people easier, they put efforts in searching for cure (aka hunting a unicorn /metaphor). cure is pure hypothetical (it's very likely there can't be cure from autism, and if it is, it wouldn't be an easy single procedure and it wouldn't be found in close future). they just revoke support (or don't create more support because there is not enough support) and do this weird non-productive shit to make themselves look good & do nothing & talk shit & be ableist & perpetuate eugenics & make everything even less accessible for level 2/3 msn/hsn autistics. this cure bullshit isn't done in interests of autistic people. that's why it's ableist. we don't ask about cure, we ask about more accessibility and acceptance. that's why it's ableist. they'll use shittalks about "too many autistics now" and "we need a cure" to deny diagnoses, force abusive therapies on people, deny accommodations, etc. that's why it's ableist. they treat level 2/3 msn/hsn autistics as someone's whose lives are inherently awful and inferior, who can't possibly be ok with existing like this. that's why it's ableism.

not because "actually autistic people don't struggle with toileting and it's offensive to assume we do."

[osokasstuff]

the part of intersex experience that is rarely discussed is all the difficulties with urinating and sexual/related activities. some of which may be caused by variations themselves and some may be caused by igm.

anatomy and physiology of variations itself, nerve damage from igm, poor results of igm because doctors care more about creating typical look than about quality of life, ptsd and its psychosomatic effects, and more stuff.

also co-occuring conditions! because some intersex variations have increased rates of kidney & urinal tract anomalies.

but we can't talk about it because 1) the topics themselves are stigmatized; 2) intersex bodies are seen as gross and weird and "too much"; 3) every our word can be twisted in "that's why intersex variations are actually always medical problems and should be 'corrected'."

like for me these issues are the part of intersexness that is constantly on my nose but i can't even talk about it without extreme shame and fear. and i spend years thinking that it's all my fault.

[osokasstuff]

this this this this

anxiolitics are heavily stigmatized. like benzodiazepines. they have severe side effects and may cause addiction. so it's important to be aware of these things. but they should not be stigmatized because of it. people who use them to treat their anxiety shouldn't be seen as weak or reckless or evil addicts stereotype. (actual addicts shouldn't be treated like that, too. i mean that anxiety has association with very stigmatized drugs that are associated with addiction. nothing bad about addicts).

anxious behavior is often seen as immature or creepy. or both.

anxiety may cause behavior like control issues or anger issues. because people try to manage it by control or get overwhelmed by it. when it causes these things, people are extremely judgemental. all this "mental health matters" and "you're not bad if you can't cope sometimes" flies out of the window.

also, when anxiety is seen as something "soft" and "uwu" and "non-threatening." we're infantilized because of it. people don't see us as adults. people don't listen to us. don't wait for us. interrupt us a lot. disrespect us in other ways.

anxiety is not destigmatized. we need to continue to fight for it.

I keep seeing references to anxiety disorders being widely accepted and destigmatized (family members telling me "everyone has anxiety sometimes, so people are understanding of it," and online discussions about other conditions with phrases like "as opposed to destigmatized conditions like anxiety") and I genuinely want to know wtf everyone is talking about.

Explain why people laugh or get angry when someone stutters a lot or is so anxious they can't talk at all, especially in professional/academic environments.

Explain why people get freaked out and sometimes call security when someone is crying and shaking and can't explain themselves during a panic attack in public.

Explain why "too nervous to order food in a restaurant" and similar comments are always used as insults online.

Explain why so many teachers don't allow mental health days for anxiety or let students leave the classroom during panic attacks.

Explain why people get so uncomfortable around the topic of anxiety medication and antidepressants.

Explain why people are always weirded out by, if not outright hostile towards, people with psychiatric service dogs, communication cards, or other aids for their anxiety.

Explain why people with anxiety are laughed off and ignored when they try to advocate for their needs or set boundaries.

Explain why people are considered selfish if they're too anxious to verbally say "excuse me" or thank people for holding the door open.

Explain why people joke about hair loss even though it can often result from stress related to anxiety.

Explain why people act like it's a major burden to make a person with anxiety feel safe in an activity.

Anxiety may not be as stigmatized as other conditions, but that doesn't mean people aren't still ableist towards people with anxiety. They only accept it if it's hidden well enough that they don't have to look at it. And when they do have to look at it, all of their "acceptance" and "mental health matters <3" fly out the window.

The only reason you think anxiety is "widely accepted" is because your idea of anxiety is "someone who is mildly introverted and has a softish voice but is otherwise completely normal."

Trivialized isn't the same as accepted.

[osokasstuff]

One thing I've noticed over the past few years is that we seem to have turned away from describing things as our "struggles" and started describing things as our "dislikes".

More often than not I seem to hear "I don't like this". And I just feel like that sends the wrong message to people about what autism really is.

"I don't like eye contact" vs "I struggle to maintain eye contact".

"I don't like small talk" vs "I struggle to engage in small talk".

"I don't like being around people" vs "I find it overwhelming to be around people".

"I understood the joke, I just didn't like it" vs "I didn't understand the joke and had to ask what it meant".

But autism isn't a set of likes and dislikes. You're not diagnosed with autism based on what you like and what you don't like.

Many of us would actually like to be able to do the things we struggle with. But we can't or we need support to do them.

It's fine if you both don't like and struggle with. But I don't think we should be reducing symptoms and traits down to just "I don't like this". It feels like it takes away our genuine experiences with our struggles.

Lots of people don't like things, yet are fully capable of doing them anyways. One may not like walking up and down stairs, yet one may be fully capable of doing so. That doesn't mean one actually struggles with walking up and down stairs.

[osokasstuff]

One thing i wish both drs and some other disabled people would stop saying that "pain cant kill you" bc it can. Literally, just too much untreated pain can stress ur body out so bad you have a heart attack or stroke or other potentially lethal medical event. And its 100% completely preventable, but opiod hysteria is so bad drs are giving people NSAIDs only for spinal surgery (real thing, i spoke to this person on twitter/X)

Pain kills. Stop demonizing pain medication

[osokasstuff]

I think what a lot of white people who follow this blog do not understand is that existing as black in a public sphere automatically comes with the knowledge that people will be horrifically, overtly racist to you with very little if any consequence, and that no one will even think about it until you point it out or unless you put your pain on display in a satisfactory enough manner that they choose to allow you your tears.

I was talking to boyf about how simply existing as black on tumblr, when I am active I get at minimum 3 racist rants and/or "nigger" messages to my askbox every single day, and I have been on tumblr since 2012. You learn to block and move on because posting them with a witty retort usually nets you like 5 more, but because I usually just block and move on... it doesn't get shown in public on here.

I've seen my black followers and mutuals mention this same problem- nonblack and especially white people who follow along, did you know? Did you know that all of your favorite black creators and social media presences are also most likely dealing with the same thing? A constant barrage of racism every day they choose to sign in?

Or was that something that only registered to you as a risk, and not as a reality?