#it makes me feel like a 13 year old girl again /pos

[glossoholicc]

I had a VISION! Their dialogue is cute.

[sissylittlefeather]

How the Web Was Woven: Chapter 13

A/N: Woof. This one took me a minute. Also, it's a short bridge-type chapter, but don't worry. Next chapter will be LONG and JUICY. This is just a necessary part of the story. Please don't give up on us! ICYMI this is the soulmate/time travel AU between Elvis and a fem!reader.

Need to catch up? Here's my Masterlist.

Warnings: cussing and angst (a smut-free chapter?! Who am I?! Don't worry. It's coming soon and they will be too 😏)

Word count: ~1.9k

"Why didn't she come for me?"

******

Elvis spends the next few weeks anxiously waiting for you to show up somewhere. It's clear his mind is elsewhere. Everyone around him notices that something is off, but he won't tell anyone what's going on. He just prowls around like a caged animal, nervous and waiting for something that no one understands. He goes back to Memphis before he has to be back in Vegas in August to film his concert documentary. The only thing that gets him out of his room is Lisa Marie. Otherwise, he mopes around or stays inside.

What no one knows is he's grieving. He's pretty sure he's lost you and his son too. The pain almost overwhelms him and he has a hard time living in his real life. He finds solace in music and spends a lot of time at the piano playing a whole catalogue of new songs. His favorite, though, is a song produced by the Beatles' record label, and he eventually asks to record it later that summer. It ends up on his album for the documentary That's the Way It Is and even makes it into a rehearsal scene with him playing it on the piano and singing. For some reason, the song makes him think of you, so he sings it as often as he can.

Even though it begins to look like he's back to himself, the pain of losing you is omnipresent. He resigns himself to the fact that he will likely never see you or his son ever again. As such, he leans into the documentary and even does a photo shoot with Priscilla over Thanksgiving to try to rekindle the affection he feels for her.

But he still feels like part of his soul has gone missing. It's the same old feeling he always has when he's away from you for too long, but this time it settles in his chest and becomes a part of him. 1970 slips into 1971 and he does his best to move on. 1971 slips into 1972 and he throws himself into work and lets his relationship with Priscilla sour. She moves out and he has a hard time even caring, except that she took Lisa Marie and it just twists the dagger of having already lost one child. There are other girls, like there always have been, but they never fill the void that you leave. He has a you-shaped hole in his heart that no amount of sex or romance or even love can fill. 1972 slides by, he films Elvis on Tour, and he plays shows across the United States. He plays Vegas again and then tours again, hoping that by keeping himself busy he'll notice your absence less.

Finally, he prepares for the Aloha from Hawaii concert that will be broadcast across the world. He tries to get back into peak physical shape and does everything he can to throw himself fully into this concert. In the process, he squashes the last hope of you ever showing up again. It's been three years.

You're gone.

******

Covid hits strong in 2020 and your world gets upended. You learn to work from home, host zoom call happy hours with your friends (even though you're pregnant and can't drink), and wear a mask anytime you're in public, which isn't often. In September, you give birth (alone and in a mask) to your daughter and name her Erin Love. She's perfectly healthy and looks so much like her brother you think you've given birth to his twin. And again you weep. Elvis is missing this and you know it'll break him if he ever finds out.

2020 fades into 2021 and you still can't risk going out with a baby. Every time you start to think it might be safe, a new strain or variant shows up and the world cowers in fear again. Vegas opens, but you're terrified, both of traveling and of the possibility of sending Covid back to 1971.

So, you wait. You wait and you wait and you keep waiting until your baby is old enough and the virus seems to slow down. Still, Vegas, with its masses of people, seems too risky. Finally, in December of 2022 you have an idea. You start making plans to head to Hawaii with both kids and your mom in January of 2023. Hawaii is much more secluded and you know exactly where he will be.

When you ask your mom to come with you, she wants to know why. This is going to be a very expensive vacation and she's not sure why you need her. You sit on her couch trying to decide just how much you should tell her. Eventually, you settle on something very close to the truth.

"John is there. We haven't seen each other in three years." You look down at the ring on your finger.

"I was starting to wonder if he still existed."

"I'm not even sure he'll want to see me..." You look at the ceiling to try to stop yourself from crying, but it doesn't work and the tears come sliding down your face.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sure he does. He loves you."

"I hope so." She pulls you into a hug.

"I will go with you. I'll watch the kids so you two can get reacquainted."

"Thank you, mom."

Once she agrees to go with you, you drop an ungodly amount of money to stay in his suite and pack up both kids to fly to the islands. You decide not to tell John Jessie why you're going, just in case it doesn't work out. He's almost 6 now and he asks about his daddy damn near everyday. Somehow, he remembers him despite the fact that it's been almost 3 years since he's seen him. Erin's too little to ask questions. She doesn't even know she has a daddy, which breaks your heart every time you think about it.

******

After a rehearsal, Elvis heads to his suite to rest. He's 100% invested in what he's doing. But out of nowhere, he thinks of you again. He hums the song he's designated as yours and goes to work changing out of his jumpsuit.

He's got the zipper all the way down when he hears a sound that makes his heart stop. There it is, the old familiar buzzing. He hasn't heard it in so long. He turns slowly, sees the portal, and practically runs through it without thinking about the fact that he has no clothes packed and is wearing a jumpsuit.

******

When Elvis comes through the portal, he stops and stares at you. He's so in shock that he doesn't know how to respond. Your mouth pops open in awe of him standing there in the American Eagle jumpsuit fully unzipped. He looks better than you could've imagined. Obviously, you've seen the footage, but it really didn't do him justice. He zips it back up and gives you a hard stare.

"It's been three fucking years, y/n."

"I know-" You don't get any further though because John Jessie comes bounding into the room. He runs to Elvis and jumps on him. He's supposed to be napping with your mom in one of the bedrooms.

"Daddy! I heard you!" Elvis grabs him and holds him tightly.

"Heyyy buddy, I missed you so much!" You can tell he's trying hard not to cry. You look nervously towards the bedroom. If your mom sees him in this jumpsuit, it'll be impossible to explain.

"Bubby, where's your grandma?"

"She's asleep." You breathe easier and John Jessie turns back to his daddy. He launches into a monologue that only a 5-year-old can follow, but Elvis sits with him on the couch and listens attentively. You stand and watch the scene and Elvis glances at you every once in a while.

After about 15 minutes, you hear Erin cry from the room where she is taking her nap. Elvis looks up at you, shocked.

"Who is that?"

"That's my sister. She's little still." John Jessie answers knowingly. Elvis's head swivels to you so fast.

"Sister?" You nod and duck out of the room to grab Erin before her crying wakes your mom up. When you come back, Elvis looks at both of you and his eyes are shiny with tears. "Is she-?"

"She's yours." He stands up and immediately takes her from you.

"What's her name?"

"Erin Love."

"Love? Like my..." He trails off and looks at her lovingly.

"Yes. Like your mother." He holds her to himself and looks up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. He pulls back and looks at her again while she babbles to him.

"Baby, do you know I'm your daddy?" She looks up at him.

"Daddy?"

"Yes!" She smiles widely and he holds her close to him again. He looks at you incredulously.

"We have another baby."

"Yes, we do." He kisses her cheek and sets her down on the floor, turning to you. His eyes burn through you and he whispers angrily.

"Where the fuck have you been?! We have a daughter?!"

"Please, Elvis, I can explain."

"You better. I'm going to spend the evening with my kids, but you better have a damn good story when they go to bed."

You nod. How will you get him to understand Covid?

******

He changes into some clothes you have for him and helps you put the kids to bed. Despite not knowing the routine, he proves to be pretty helpful. You're amazed at how well John Jessie remembers him. Your mom seems to just know she should make herself scarce through the whole evening and stays in the room. Once you get both kids in bed, you sit on the couch facing him, heart pounding and stomach in knots. He looks at you with a mixture of sadness and anger.

"Tell me why, y/n."

"There is a new virus." You desperately try to explain everything that's happened over the last three years.

"So you couldn't come to me because of a cold virus?"

"Elvis, you don't understand. This was a global pandemic. Everything was closed and people all around the world were dying. They literally shut down Las Vegas."

"I've been other places." He responds, the anger in his voice obvious.

"I know, but I couldn't risk our kids. Or the possibility of you taking this virus back to your time. I finally feel safe here in Hawaii."

"I don't know, y/n, I'm glad you're okay and I'm especially excited to see the kids. But I thought I'd lost you. I buried you in my mind."

"Did you- did you move on?" For the first time, the reality that your marriage to Elvis might be over hits you in the gut and your eyes widen. Elvis isn't sure how to answer. He has a girlfriend, and technically another wife. But he looks at you sitting in front of him and can't help but feel the connection that's bound you together for over fifteen years. He wants to be angry so badly, but really all he is is sad. Sad that he missed the first two and a half years of his daughter's life. Sad that he went so long without all of you. Sad that you almost feel like a stranger now.

You sit on the couch staring at each other waiting for his answer.

******

Come back soon for Chapter 14!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @rosepresley68 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @that-hotdog @eddiesgirlforever @helen06dreamer @returntopresley @rjmartin11 @noirrose21-blog @tacozebra051 @deltafalax

[bloodied-dagger]

1-70 then

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah, sure. Although my dad’s a transphobe and they’re both Trump supporters who eat whatever fox n Facebook (respectively) serve them so. I’d say it’s more mediocre

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? no idea

03: Do you regret anything? yeah a shit ton of… well, shit

04: Are you insecure? Yes, definitely

05: What is your relationship status? single taken, surprisingly

06: How do you want to die? painlessly

07: What did you last eat? String cheese

08: Played any sports? marching band currently (it’s a sport imo) and I used to play baseball and soccer as a tiny child

09: Do you bite your nails? yea

10: When was your last physical fight? never got in one

11: Do you like someone? yea

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? don’t think so

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? hate’s a bit of a strong word, isn’t it?

14: Do you miss someone? used to definitely still do

15: Have any pets? my dog, who Tommy says “looks like she skipped leg day and is depressed about it”

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Not Good™ Alright, although these old responses are kinda bumming me out. I suppose that life, rat

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

18: Are you scared of spiders? not really, but I’m not the most fond of them

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes. All the yes. So much yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? once again, wouldn’t you like to know?

21: What are your plans for this weekend? rest, and probably feel bad that I’m not cleaning play dnd with some friends. If anything major happens btw, that’s why.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? No, fuck that

23: Do you have piercings? How many? none

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Uh, band technically. Got a 115% in it

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? from like, a long time ago? Not really. Within the past year tho? Yea

26: What are you craving right now? Whole lotta nothing

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes technically I think

28: Have you ever been cheated on? nope

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? N/A nope

30: What’s irritating you right now? nothing and I hope to keep it that way the original formatting of these 70 questions (why is it so small?)

31: Does somebody love you? I certainly hope so

32: What is your favourite color? Blue

33: Do you have trust issues? uhhhhhhhh maybe

34: Who/what was your last dream about? Great question

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? uhhhhhhhh probably my parents when I was like 9 or something

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? maybe?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? forget

38: Is this year the best year of your life? no clue

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? yeah actually

51: Favourite food? Wings

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Not really

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? your mom

54: Is cheating ever okay? if they cheated first then I see not problem with cheating back. But honestly I would just end the relationship, revenge is unnecessary

55: Are you mean? yes, I think

56: How many people have you fist fought? none

57: Do you believe in true love? like, pre destined? Nah

58: Favourite weather? rain and thunder

59: Do you like the snow? not really

60: Do you wanna get married? not sure really

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? My brain would malfunction /pos I think if my girlfriend called me that. But to be completely honest I don’t know if I’d actually enjoy being called that on a regular basis

62: What makes you happy? That’s a long and short list I don’t feel like typing

63: Would you change your name? Already have, but not legally

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ohhhhhhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? So funny thing about that… yeah turns out she did like me. I liked her so uh yeah now we’re dating

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yup

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My teacher

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? dunno. Probably Kyndyr

69: Do you believe in soulmates? nope

70: Is there anyone you would die for? plenty

[pankhearst]

Support a trans content creator!

I’m thinking about starting a monthly zine. It would be a serialized story spanning many issues - all about a 17-year-old girl named Sophie who discovers that her parents were protectors of creatures that many of us would consider legendary. Sophie, accompanied only by her faithful dog Cocoa Puff, has to travel the country in an attempt to find her missing father and stop an evil ultraterrestrial from ending this world for the sake of his own. Along the way she’ll make friends, fight monsters, and lose a lot.

This is a dark, gritty story with a lot of heart and a wicked sense of humor. I’ve been stewing on it for about 13 years now, and I think it’s finally ready to be told. Sophie means a lot to me, and I can’t wait for you to meet her.

I’m planning on selling physical copies of this zine, which will be professionally printed. I thought about printing it myself, which would definitely be cheaper, but if I’m going to do this, I’d love for it to be something that feels high-quality.

Physical copies would be published once a month, and would be available for purchase for $12 an issue. Each issue would be a limited run of 49 to start (plus one I keep for myself), and once they’re gone, they’re gone. No reprints.

Just like with a comic book series, you’d be under no obligation to buy every issue, but you’d run the risk of missing something important if you missed an issue. But if you wanna just buy issues that sound interesting to you, that’s totally valid!

Alternatively, you would be able to support the project on Patreon. There would be two tiers available: $5/month and $10/month. $5 gets you access to a digital archive of past zines, and $10 gets you that plus a physical copy mailed to you each month. You’d save $2/issue.

How did I arrive at the price? Cost to run a website + printing and shipping the zine to me + shipping the zine to you + renting a PO Box gets me spending around $6 per copy. At $10/issue I’d need to sell 30 of the 50 to break even each month. At $12 I’d need to sell 25.

I’m telling you all of this because I’d be thrilled to break even. As long as I more or less consistently break even on it, I’d be able to keep doing it. Supporting this project would mean so freaking much, because you’d be supporting me, & right now, I could really use support.

I hate the way this sounds because it feels like I’m begging, but the truth is that this would be a great way to help an unemployed trans woman. So if you’re interested, sound off! I’m likely not going to attempt it until I’ve heard at least 20 people say they’re interested.

The first issue would essentially be a “pilot” to gauge audience interest, but again, I need at least 20 people to tell me they’re interested before I commit to spending the money on everything I’d need. So if this sounds like something you’d be interested in, PLEASE let me know!

[canonisdead]

My own character headcanons of BOY THESE CHARACTERS NEED GODDAMN THEARPY Part 1

I was inspired by a post and at first I was going to do a reblog but it was getting REALLY long

Guardian: In the timelines where he kills three people. *I'm not fully sure if Dipsy counts* Shadow doesn't stop tormenting him about it *Shadow my bro I know you're angry that the banana you adopted was killed by Guardian but that's not a good reason to heavily bully Guardian* and lets four shadow versions of the four to torment him further and I don't know if him being one of the products of his parents in the White Coat's captive breeding program counts-

Po: In my AUs Guardian damaged her antenna and so it effected her brain since the antenna is connected to the skull and the brain is in the skull. So if she got cured in those AUs where Guardian does that, it can't reverse the effect it had on her brain. I have two categories where Po gets hung and where she hangs herself. The second sounds a bit more scary to me because the infection is making her do that, imagine losing that amount of control over your body and cannot stop yourself from killing yourself. And she's usually 13 in my AUs. Her father stepped out of the picture, not wanting to do anything with Naa-Naa after Po was seemingly born with any kind of fear gene nor common sense.

Laa-Laa: Oh WhERE do we begin, is tormented by the shadow versions of her friends *luckily when Shadow checks how Laa-Laa is doing because he's not a helicopter father figure, he shoos them away* her best friend is killed by her normally very nice friend, she has the misfortune of meeting Guardian, barely survived when she ran into a monster, finds out her every move was being watched. And can get killed by the same guy with a rock. *I must remind you Guardian doesn't have much muscle strength so realistically he would have to hit her repeatedly with the rock and she would see who killed her* And other times gets killed by the only guy that seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. And gets trapped under a pillar and either is stuck there or gets killed by a rock again. Laa-Laa isn't having a fun time. Forgot to mention the events before her life as a test subject, *her biological father sold her and her siblings out to the government without telling her mother* when the White Coats came to take them away for the experiment, she tried to fight them with a sharp weapon but of course what is a 7 year old girl gonna do against grown men?

Tinky Winky: He had no control over his body and could only watch as he killed his friends. He has foggy memories of seeing his mom's dead body but her face is always blurry and of course he doesn't remember having a mom nor remember that Noo-Noo is his dad. He had a good family life before Luna and her parents were killed. He has to face the horror of his dad starting this whole mess and how controlling Noo-Noo is.

Dipsy: Uh he gets strangled by Tinky Winky and it's like "Is this because of the sexual advances, okay I'll stop, just let go of my neck, only Laa-Laa is allowed to give me near death experiences" And his leg gets burnt by the laser. And I wanted him to have more trauma so I had Guardian dig the chainsaw into his leg to make sure Dipsy wouldn't try to get up and chase him down. Oh wait Dipsy is also a product of the breeding program except that his mother was just forcibly impregnated with a sample of Rep DNA.

Dutch: My boy very upset at his whole family deciding to give up on Finn, so he did his very best to try to get him the treatment he needed and to take care of them both. He stole some money from his dad's safe until he found out and kicked him in the stomach, cracking his screen a bit. He also has some scars from the abuse. So it's a bit of child forced to grow up fast situation. And then has to deal with the whole his brother being dead and in timelines where he escapes being killed by Richard, he's blaming the whole situation on Richard because he believes he left Finn to die. 'I was supposed to trust that every time you two were on a mission together, you would always bring him back alive'. And there's the whole break up arc where Miles refuses to believe Richard tried to kill Dutch and it makes Dutch even more angry. Honestly my Dutch wouldn't really be upset about being killed by Richard because I must put extra emphasis when I say that Finn was Dutch's reason to live and get up everyday and now Finn is dead. I forgot to mention Dutch wears a 'mask' to the world. The mask of outgoing, flirty behavior and egoist behavior. But usually only lets down his mask around Finn. He hasn't put it down for Miles yet, he's worried that Miles loves the mask he puts up and wouldn't love the real him.

Finn: This freaky weirdo had compilations in his birth which is why he's younger than Dutch. (This is my worldbuilding and I don't care if that's accurate or not) He needed treatment for his weak body but when his parents realized Finn couldn't recover without it, they decided they rather let him die. The oldest brother constantly misgenders him. I think he finally got the treatment (thanks to Dutch's efforts and Ninja's parents) when he was 7 maybe? But he basically needed a lot of help walking. I need you to understand that he was younger that every movement hurt so he didn't bother doing anything that hurt. So he had to be taught to do things he didn't bother trying to do when he was younger. Like walking. But he recovered and now can kick harder than anyone on the planet. But then I made him get blackmailed by the General. This mf controlled this 18 year old with "I have the power to control what ranks anyone you're associated with has, so give me oral sex and they will rise higher rather than lower" While Finn usually shares all of his problems with his brother, he's truly scared if Dutch finds out, he'll think he's a whore and disown him. Dutch is basically the only family he has. He doesn't want to ruin Dutch's reptation with this problem.

[gurorori]

okay im impatient so ill b doin this on my own & in one go!

1: i honesly dunno when we discovered it but i guess personally Me i found out arnd 2016 prolly not long after.. arnd the time i split! it wld take years before we cld really build a wardrobe though! im not sure abt the 'where'. it was jus a thing i kinda knew, but i assume the internet, somewhere, somehow.

2: solids all the way, but i suggest a secret third category: appliqués, like the ones in old school. not quite a print but it is not a solid either... BUT YEAH NO solids all da way if i had to pick between those two... they r jus so much more versatile, the only prints i consistently like r border prints, florals & those amazin baby countryloli strawb prints.

3: i love so many laces lolita has to offer but my current obsession is eyelet lace, ykno the one with lil holes in the middle all the way thru where u can put a ribbon thru it n its so pretty i really like the combination. especially when its on skirts..

4: sadly i havnt had the chance to really go to 'lolita-appropriate' places in lolita yet, im momoko-ing it (jus lolita all da time everywhere).. id say parks so far. it feels very natural bein surrounded by nature n flowers n the sun i think its my favorite!

5: uhmmm im not sure if this is a substyle kinda question or wat kind of attribute i own more of? but im an old schoolie with a goal of buildin a capsule dats mostly 'authentically' old school, so far i have 3 pieces total dat r 2001-2006 (2001 moitie coat, 2005 jmarple sweater, 2006 baby op)

6: second momoko mention & it will not b the last one. idk i know shes a fictional character technically but she is everythin 2 me. i do not closely follow a lot of but a lot of lolitas on tumblr r a huge inspiration to me as well, @/cynicalneoprincessism bein a bit of a literal icon /pos!

7: a sad sad sad lonely lonelita in the middle of nowhere (not rly but its a city on the smaller side in a deeply conservative country. get me out)

8: definitely love wardrobe stuff, but i also love vlogs. jus a lolita out n about. fav

9: once again @/cynicalneoprincessism's yt is my favorite in terms of vibes.. i also love pure_rae i think is her channel name & i watch lovelylor ofc.. a few others i cant remember.. sorry..

10: definitely casual since its very commonplace in proto & old school. im definitely fine with in-the-middle/traditional lolicoords too but day-to-day i wear a lot of casual/proto!

11: prolly my moitie coat.. my first brand piece.. so so beautiful n gothic.. also wat i wud consider 'rare' n a bit of a lost media (lol) since its not documented anywhere. i dug up the release date purely by lookin at the product number on the tag & findin the closest one on lolibrary, which pointed me to 2001.. leads me to believe its from the same release set.

12: ummm um.. prolly these chunky mary janes which I LOVE but one of the straps broke in a weird way dat still makes em wearable but uncomfortable to walk in on one side. i still wanna wear em, so im sad.. but im lookin into new mary janes argh.

13: dream in cage jsk by alice girl. got it for prom.. not a favorite, definitely the ita phase where i was still not sure wat i wanted. its the furthest thing from old school where i am now, so. yeah, if the shoes didn break, the dress wld b my regret piece.. i might sell it soon, i think i wore it properly once.

14: mmm.. a shiro headpiece & wrist cuffs by a local lolita atelier/seamstress, labdemerveilles on insta!

15: not sure how unpopular my opinions r.. ok here one. its not an opinion i push onto anyone & more of a personal preference, but i much prefer proto & old school to the modern look, from the construction of the dress to the details like lace n design n material.. i like everythin abt early stages of lolita n i like much less abt the state its in now. id wear 80s-2010s AT MOST & i can still appreciate OTT sweet boom of early 2010s (altho i wudn go near it myself), but not much abt new releases excites me at all.. i don wanna say modern lolita is worse or better, its jus not for me. everythin in me aligns with every single aspect of old school i jus love the aesthetic & once i ventured into old school, everythin else jus felt wrong.

16: please take an educated guess (im an old school predominantly gothiclita). yeah its b&w. #2 shiro/kuro.. #3 red tartan... #4 dat old school pale dusty pink...

17: BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY

18: ummmm detachable waist ties im so srs. all the dresses i have so far have em sewn on & i cannot tie em without help at all. it hurts lookin up tutorials how to tie one & only findin shit where ppl have detachable ones. but uhmmm.. in second place: detachable sleeves, like a lotta old school ops have.. kinda like its commonplace with blouses ykno. sorry im all for convenience & accessibility.... i legit cried first time i tried to tie them all by myself cuz my arms wer in immense pain for hours after..

19: nope i do nawt.. but first dress i was SRS abt & do remember was antique doll op by ap, which i do not feel the same abt now. i used to call it a dreamie but my tastes have changed greatly..

20: black rockin horsies 4 sure. can still go with old school shiro if u squint. can go with old school sweet. can go with old school country. can go with anythin old school if yr brave enuff. its such a gift. ankles r temporary, rhs r forever.

21: hngggg i love kumakumya so muuuuch but lately i feel like a cheater cuz im leanin into usakumya stuffs. its jus the white seems to b a lot more versatile, so she ends up fittin with more stuff. i alrdy got a kuma pochette hence this discovery. yeah. i guess i prefer usa jus a bit more, ithink the initial attachment to kuma was cuz of my insane obsession w teddy bears. i also have an infatuation with those old school cuties dat baby wud put in their prints sumtimes.. i think it was a poodle n a bunny n a cat..? theyr not really mascots tho. but i loved seein em in appliqués n designs!

22: im definitely guilty of baby brainrot, so i guess i prefer brand? i wldn say im obsessed with it or think its necessarily a marker of quality tho. i buy things based on wat they r, not the tag, for sure. n yeah it so happened dat almost every old school baby release resonates with my entire being! wat abt it! the reason im more in favor of brand is also cuz its easier to hunt down as an oldschoolie, sure there wer less known&offbrand pieces but its often way harder to really even find out they exist. whereas with old school brand its like oh yeah dats babydoll op lawl. but yeah i really don mind offbrand especially for anythin dats not main piece or blouse..

23: B

24: red tartan........ florals as well! gobelin is da shit.... country motifs, esp strawby ones like i said!

25: the belonging. this is gonna get sappy but i genuinely have never felt the way i do in lolita, wearin non-lolita clothes. lolita genuinely gives me a sense of home & it feels so right wearin it that i don wanna wear anythin else. i love the community as well but its jus the feelin itself first & foremost. its liberatin in a sense, yehs, jus as intended. i like the modest femininity aspect & the homage to victorian fashion (which im utterly obsessed with as well). n yeah i love the lifestyle stuff so so much, all of it. love everytgin abt early early earlyyy lolita, love lolita history, how it came to b & how it developd. love love

26: (tears up) ok lieten 2 me. the fact theres naw baby store 1 min away. in all seriousness idk. perhaps the toxicity of sum spaces, thankfully i havnt experienced most of it. idk i jus dislike the idea of lolitas puttin others down or judgin based on things..

27: prolly bears.. i havnt thought lots ab this. i don rly gravitate towards animal designs, let alone prints muuuch.. a lot of kumya prints r cute?

28: tbh not sure.. i love lolita content on yt, i love tumblr stuff. i don have a proper favorite, i jus consume all i can at once lmao

29: hair down, pigtails, any kind of old school coded hairstyles really, esp ones dat r a lil more punky. also ringlet wigs

30: ive heard of a lot of lolita resources dat were lost to time.. i also found a few old local lolita stores (online ofc) dat offered accessories n such, like OLD SCHOOL old. they were so cute but its been literally over a decade, so ofc they r long gone... definitely have such nostalgia for old school in general, sure it lives on thru us but its still hard to look at it separated from its time & place. its not quite the same, but im so happy with how the fashion got to b cultivated n wat paved its way to become the lolita we know. street fashion is such a Human phenomenon it makes me really happy to engage in & connect with others

˚✧ ˚♡˚ ✧˚ lolita fashion themed ask game ˚✧ ˚♡˚ ✧˚ you can answer all of them or reblog to get sent some questions! 1: how and when did you first get introduced to the fashion? 2: if you could only pick one: prints or solids? 3: do you have a favorite type of lace? 4: favorite place to go wearing lolita? 5: what does your wardrobe mostly consist of? 6: do you have a favorite lolita/does anyone inspire you? 7: are you in a community, or are you a lonelita? 8: favorite type of lolita content? (dress reviews, tutorials, handmade/sewing, annual wardrobe posts, get ready with me, anything!) 9: do you have a favorite lolita youtube channel? 10: do you prefer casual lolita, somewhere in the middle, or OTT? 11: what's one item you have that you would never sell? 12: what's one item you regret buying? 13: first ever purchase? 14: most recent purchase? 15: do you have an unpopular opinion about the fashion? 16: favorite coord color combinations? 17: what's a brand you don't own many things from but would like to? 18: what's the best feature a dress could have? 19: do you remember the first dress you ever saw? do you still like it? 20: if you could only keep one pair of shoes, which would they be? 21: do you have a favorite brand mascot? 22: do you prefer bigger brands or indie brands? 23: favorite place to shop? 24: favorite pattern? (stripes, polka dots, florals, anything!) 25: favorite thing about the fashion? 26: least favorite thing about the fashion? 27: which animal do you enjoy seeing the most in dresses/accessories? 28: favorite platform for lolita content? (other socials, blogs, anything!) 29: favorite hairstyle when wearing lolita? 30: are you nostalgic for anything that doesn't exist anymore?

[kimmyyang]

210503 My favorite moments & translations of the SHL concert including the warming up livestream

1. Zhao Jing calling fans adopted sons and daughters during the livestream and revealing that there will be a game where they hug each other, telling fans to look forward to it (he knows what we want to see haha).

2. Gong Jun arrived at the livestream first, but he still waited for Zhang Zhehan and told Zhang Zhehan to introduce himself first.

3. Zhang Zhehan saying he will talk less as he needs to take care of his throat for the actual concert, so Gong Jun talked mostly in the livestream (translation is here).

4. In the beginning of the concert, ZZH introduced himself: "I'm your Ah Xu." (T ^ T)

5. The MCs asked the casts to write down their top 1 iconic scene, some of them picked the scene where Gao Chong died. GJ & ZZH were having a discussion and the MCs were like "why do these two have to discuss their top 1 scene?" (yeah, you just need to write your own fave scene, it's not pair work LMAO) ZZH picked "you're not worthy" scene where they had to fight against Ye Bai Yi, and GJ picked the sun basking scene where they called each other 'Lao Wen', 'Ah Xu' 3 times. ZZH said: thanks to Gao dage's iconic scene, they got to rest haha.

6. Gao Chong, Zhao Jing & Shen Sheng sitting behind GJ & ZZH wrote "Lao Wen ♡ Lao Zhou" on their whiteboards, they were laughing so much while holding it up.

7. When they played the sun basking scene, the MCs asked GJ "you were pretty focused when watching the scene." GJ replied, "it reminded me of the time when we were filming, it felt so warm just like now, I'm being surrounded with love."

8. MCs said that ZZH added the part where calling Lao Wen's name 3 times. ZZH said: "yes I even asked GJ to call Ah Xu 3 times, I like the number 3 and calling the names 3 times shows 3 different emotions". When MCs asked them to reenact the scene, I heard CWN saying he wants to see it. (I hope I didn't mishear it lol and the MCs were smiling so much while watching them)

9. After ZZH finished singing Gu Meng (T ^ T), the fans were all screaming 'lao po'. XDDD

10. At the beginning of the game segment, when the rules came up on the screen. Fans were screaming loudly and ZZH said: "did you guys even read/ understand it to be screaming like that?" And one of the MCs said: "shouldn't that be Ye Bai Yi's job to diss people?" (The MCs definitely did a lot of prep before the concert haha XD and that is the hugging game Zhao Jing talked about in the livestream)

11. GJ & ZZH were laughing hehehehe when they found out they got the same number.

12. The MCs had to say a number, they have to find enough people to make that number. At one point Ye Bai Yi was with 3 actresses, and ZZH said: "Ye Bai Yi you're a guy and you're hugging 3 girls??? I didn't expect you to be like this." (AHAHAHAHA)

13. I missed out on what happened with CWN & GX, but it seems that they wanted to get eliminated together. (T ^ T)

14. So at the end, ZZH and Cheng Ling won the game and GJ was like: "the person who won the game will sing until tomorrow's concert." (LOL)

15. GJ said: "I feel like you guys planned it out to make me lose the game." (ZZH called 'Lao Wen' 3 times here ahhhh GJ kinda just gave up lol) "Am I right, didi?" Cheng Ling replied yes. ZZH asked GJ to dance as a punishment but GJ forced ZZH to dance and ZZH was like why do I have to do it when I won the game?? Then ZZH sang and GJ danced to 爱的恰恰 (so cute I cry) GJ couldn't do the dance properly, he explained: "I need to save my energy, I have to sing later."

16. When they were picking the winners for the prizes, GJ said: "it's so unfair to the bottom floor, they haven't won anything." ZZH then jokingly added: "the people on the bottom floor, they're super fast at getting the tickets and they're pretty rich too." (because the tickets are more expensive) GJ jokingly followed: "then let's pick someone from level 3, haha I actually did pick out level 3 (from the bag)."

17. Another game, the MCs asked them to say something fierce to the other team, GJ was facing his teammates and kept saying (I can't remember what he said) really loudly. And ZZH was like did you not understand (the instructions) why are you shouting at your teammates? (AHAHAHAHAHA come on I don't think he would say anything fierce to his lao po XD)

18. I can't remember what happened but Ye Bai Yi shouted: "卧槽 (fuck)" during the game segment. (really loudly!!! and I haven't heard any Chinese actors/ celebrities say that in public lmao)

19. GJ couldn't find all the nails on ZZH and asked: "where did you guys hide it?" Ye Bai Yi lifts up ZZH's clothes and said: "here". GJ said:" I can't reach there, they won't be able to broadcast it." (asdfghjklfuuuuu)

20. When they reenacted the "you're not worthy" scene and still bickering like 3-year-olds XDDD

21. When Cao Wei Ning & Ah Xiang were singing Yuan Mie, Ah Xiang got so emotional she cried and messed up, so Cao Wei Ning sang her lines and held her hand really tightly. (I CRIEDDDD)

22. Afterwards, ZZH & GJ walked out with Cheng Ling (then everyone came out too). GJ forgot to bring the red bracelets and ZZH was like "where are the red bracelets? Lao Wen did you give it to someone else?" (AHAHAHAHA)

23. When they had to put the red bracelets on each other's wrists, CWN's hands were shaking so much, you can literally feel how nervous he is through the screen. (sobs) CWN called Ah Xiang "Cao furen (my wife)" and GX called Cao dage "my husband". (T ^ T)

24. When Xi Sang Gui came into the centre, she said: "Ah Xing (WKX) when will it be your wedding?" GJ just smiled and side-eyed ZZH. XDD

25. GJ said that SHL means a lot to him, it's a special, irreplaceable drama to him. I think he also thanked ZZH. ZZH said: "thank you shanrens who're here and watching in front of the screen for giving us the chance to dream and made our dream come true. (no, thank YOU for bringing Ah Xu into our lives T ^ T)

26. Picking winners again and CWN was trying so hard to find the bottom/ centre area card. (so cute)

27. ZZH & GJ singing Tian Wen, ZZH got confused at the start and GJ helped him to get back into the right key, they both laughed and it was just so cuteeeee. And GJ said: "everyone together" which made ZZH laugh cuz you don't usually say that during a slow song lmao.

28. Liu Qianqiao presented 嗑 upside down which is phonetically “嗑到了/ kdl” and it means my ship (cp) is sailing.

Day 2

[helliontherapscallion]

omg pls share the story abt the lecture from that girl’s dad (only if u feel like it) but seriously ppl it’s not that hard to put a mask on to help the spread of a virus. just wear it, it keeps u safe. and for the ppl who don’t care then just wait til it affects u, bcs covid isn’t a game. I just wish ppl were more serious abt it

Ok so sit down and buckle up kiddos and grab some snacks bc this is a helluva ride

Little background info: I have been a section leader for both my junior and senior years now. When the new freshmen came in my first year of being section leader I was hyped as hell. And then this new freshman whips out a lighter and lights it WHILE WE’RE INSIDE THE SCHOOL MIGHT I ADD with a straight face looking off into the distance before we ask her to put it away. She also always has a pocket knife on her that we found on the ground during band camp. I’ll call her POS. 

I tried to like POS I really did, but then she turned out to be a bigoted racist asshole (she also drinks deer blood straight from the corpse and simps over jeffery dahmer so even more red flags). It was extremely hard for me to treat her like I did with the other people in my section, but I managed to treat her the same as the other people and avoided her for the most part (thank god she wasn’t in my subsection I would’ve actually gone insane)

Flash forward to this year. Covid was hitting full force and we had to quarantine for the first two months of our season setting us back by a lot. She was wishywashy about rejoining but as the most senior leader of my section my band director was on my ass about getting a straight answer from her and fast. So I kinda had to force her to give me an answer (which she told me she was doing it quickly which leads me to think she already knew she was doing it) so she already was going into the season hating my guts

When we finally had an in person rehearsal for the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask so when I asked her where it was she looked at me like I was the dumbass and said in a matter-of-fact tone “it’s in my pocket” and pointed to the confederate flag bandana hanging out of her pocket. Those four words told me that this season was going to be a fuckin long one with her. I just deadpanned (she couldn’t see it tho bc mask, sunglasses, and floppy hat blocking my entire face) and said “I’d rather it be on your face. (band director and marching instructor’s names) will have my ass if they see you not wearing one.” She rolls her eyes and puts it on (at least it was over her nose)

A few months go by with me telling her constantly to put on a mask bc I am responsible for my section and I’d be damned if one of them got sick bc of one idiot being stupid that I could prevent. She is getting madder and madder with each passing rehearsal. 

Band camp rolls around and it changed from 5 13 hour days to 15 3 hour ones and I am already done with her bs. We get our dots and I mentally groan bc she’s next to me for the vast majority of the show. She is between me (an asthmatic) and my close friend (vvv immunocompromised and also hates her, I’ll call her S) so now I’m more worried about covid going around the section. It was in this time that I find out that at least 5 other people out of 20 also have pre existing conditions that make them susceptible. So now I make it even more my mission to make her wear a mask. 

It was in the middle of band camp when she is yet again not wearing a mask (we were just marching without instruments) and I turn to her and as kindly as possible (it was the second time that day) asked her to put on her mask. She once again rolls her eyes and says “ya know, (band director) walked past me 3 times and hasn’t said shit, so I think I’m gonna listen to him and not you.” S and another friend of mine looks over in shock cuz she just talked back to me. They were about to say something but I wove them off. POS wants to fuck with me? Fine. I’ll just go full force with this. She wants petty?? I’ll give her petty, I’ve been holding off all season. 

So I’m marching there for the next twenty minutes quietly seething and counting more aggressively. She’s getting annoyed, but I pull the section leader card and tell her that she needs to be counting as loud as I am bc her feet was lowkey off time. After we break off for a gush and go (very short water break), I go straight to my band director and use my limited water break to tell him what she told me. He apologizes and says that he thought she was just taking a breather. He tells her to put on a mask and she does so and glares at me the rest of the rehearsal. 

She blocks me on all social media and I obviously clown on her in private with the other section leader (he’s more of a pacifist and never really told her to wear a mask which kinda pissed me off but I understood) until she makes a passing comment to my other friend about using the knife she kept in her boot. Now he tells me cuz he’s a good friend and I’m shitting myself at that point bc holy shit I might get shanked. 

I think about telling the band director but I realize that there’s no proof of her saying this and she could easily get out of this so it’s kinda pointless to tell anyone. Plus if she did shank me, she’d get into so much trouble and I’d be laughing at her from my grave/hospital bed. 

Many rehearsals go by and she still refuses to wear a mask so after one rehearsal S and I went to the band director and reminded him about our conditions and told him about how we were worried for our safety (I also told him abotu the other vulunerable ppl in the section) and he says he’s gonna do something. Next rehearsal he gives POS a warning and she begrudgingly wears a mask for the rest of the rehearsal. The next rehearsal rolls by and she isn’t wearing a mask (again) and he sends her home. Major victory for S and I.

The next sectional tho was something I wasn’t expecting. I get there like 10 minutes before it starts like I usually do in a good mood. I get out of my car and go to grab my stuff when a massive white truck with a busted muffler pulls up into the parking space next to me with a cloud of black smoke. The window rolls down and reveals POS’s dad and POS herself in the passanger seat. 

Of course I’m thinking that this is the day I die and start mentally preparing to yell for help to my other section members 100 feet away on the field already.

Mans starts to lecture me saying things like “it’s unhealthy to wear a mask outside bc it’s like a pitri dish under there. 6th grade science!” (I am not joking or overexaggerating with this, he actually said that). I really wanted to say “well, 7th grade science says otherwise, but you wouldn’t know that bc I’m sure you didn’t pass 6th grade, but go off ig” but I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get shanked or disappear randomly. I just tell him that I am only doing what my band director told me to do and that there are tons of people (myself included) that can really get hurt from just being in contact with covid. He says that’s bullshit and tries to tell me that I’m an idiot before I cut him off by telling him once again that I am just trying to protect my section and that the sectional was going to start soon so I didn’t have the time for this. I walk away leaving him trying to keep talking to me and soon enough POS gets out of the car and follows me to the field giving me a smug smile on her unmasked face before she puts it on when she sees the other section leader stroll up. 

Lemme paint the picture for you: this guy (a 6′something burly guy in his 50′s that I know has like two felonies under his belt) pulls up next to me (a 5′2 17 year old ball of anxiety that drives a small yellow car) and starts to borderline yell at me. Traumatizing. I was shaking for the rest of the sectional and I spent the rest of the season looking over my shoulder looking for the glint of a knife swingin at me

Now I’m pretty sure she’s suspended bc she was caught with a knife on school property and she wore a confederate t-shirt to school, but I would be lying if I said I don’t still look over my shoulder or speed up when I drive past her house lmao

[manuscripts-dontburn]

D: A Tale of Two Worlds

Author: Michel Faber

First published: 2020

Pages: 304

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 5 days

I would not hesitate to put this book into the hands of any child and that, I believe, is the biggest praise for a children's book. Unfortunately for me as an adult reader some things simply did not reach their potential. Perhaps it is my own fault for not having read anything by Dickens yet (aside from The Chrismas Carol), but references may have flown over my head. The story itself is a bit too straightforward and the adventure itself, while not without its moments (among which the best is the episode in the creepy hotel), extremely simplistic - and yet never explained in a satisfactory manner. The questions of why and how and for what purpose are not answered and while that may not be necessary to a child who can simply cheer Dhikilo on, it doesn't satisfy an older reader.

The Children of Ash and Elm: A History of the Vikings

Author: Neil Price

First published: 2020

Pages: 624

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 8 days

Achievement of research, choice of topics and compulsively readable writing.

Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man

Author: Mary L. Trump

First published: 2020

Pages: 225

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

In spite of what you may think while going into this book, it is neither a Donald Trump biography neither a deep psychological study of his deranged personality. It is partly a memoir and partly a family portrait drawn by a person who is, in a way, inside and yet, in another way, left out of that family. Mary L Trump reveals a lot about the toxic relationships which ran and still run throughout the Trump clan, who are pretty much just a bunch of extremely mediocre, uninspiring people who got lucky and got blinded by greed. I swear that if I read about a fictional family like theirs I would dismiss it as completely unrealistic, but yet there they were, rich and privileged and disgusting. There is nothing shocking revealed about Trump himself, we have all seen his insecurities, his failures, his lies and cruelty, but it was nonetheless interesting to see where exactly has all that come from. And yet, none of the explainings makes Trump any more likeable or worth of pity.

Navzdory básník zpívá

Author: Jarmila Loukotková

First published: 1957

Pages: 510

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 9 days

Po dlouhé době jsem ochutnala českou klasiku a ačkoliv Villon jako postava mi k srdci nepřirostl, nelze než obdivovat Jarmilu Loukotkovou, její vládu nad jazykem a schopností vykreslit tak rozporuplnou osobnost. Především však je nutné ocenit jak hluboce (vysoce?) atmosférická tato kniha je, středověk z ní vyloženě dýchá.

The Way Past Winter

Author: Kiran Millwood-Hargrave

First published: 2018

Pages: 256

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

This could have been much, much longer. There were so much material, themes and character development to work with! But if I try and be less subjective, I need to judge this book as it was intended to be: for pre-teen children. And in that case, I have nothing to criticize. This is a story about family ties, dressed up as a chase-and-discover adventure with some genuinely exciting and some genuinely dark parts. And as usual with Kiran Milwood Hargrave, it is beautifully written.

Heart of Europe: A History of the Holy Roman Empire

Author: Peter H. Wilson

First published: 2016

Pages: 1008

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 10 days

This beautifully executed and designed book is a real undertaking. I decided to go with an audiobook (funnily enough narrated by a guy called Napoleon) and I am glad of it because otherwise, I would be reading this until the next year. That said this is an excellently researched and presented study of the Holy Roman Empire, its justice system, its nationalities, its ambivalent relationship with the Catholic church and many other aspects. I imagine it would work best as a reference book. But just for the sheer amount of work that went into it I have to give it the highest rating.

My Cousin Rachel

Author: Daphne de Maurier

First published: 1951

Pages: 335

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 8 days

The way Daphne du Maurier plays with feelings, thoughts and motivations is masterful, as is the language she uses. Loved this.

Vita Nostra

Author: Marina & Sergei Dyachenko

First published: 2007

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I have a massive headache and feel like I´m on drugs after finishing this book. I went into it under a false notion of it being sort of a "Harry Potter" magical school sort of book. A little further on I thought: OK, so it is Harry Potter meets The Secret History. On crack. By the time the second part rolled by my head was spinning. There is not really anything I could liken this to, it stands completely on its own. There is not much to talk about in regards to the plot: A young girl is, under rather shady circumstances, forced into attending an obscure school in a small town and her studies slowly but surely completely take over her entire existence. However, the atmosphere created, the steps she takes and her changing mindset are all fascinating to follow. Even though the protagonist starts at 16 and ends up as 19 years old, this is far from the typical "YA" as you can imagine. The campus life, for all the bizarre things going on around it, feels raw and absolutely real - complete with countless beer bottles, stolen soaps and knickers drying on the heater. I was uncomfortable with one of the main protagonists being referred to as "hunchback", even though we knew his name (this later disappears for... reasons which I won´t spoil) and I was also uncomfortable with the teachers openly encouraging our main character to lose her virginity the moment she turned 18 because apparently, that makes you more magic (simplifying here a LOT, but it was CREEPY and unnecessary). Then again the whole school was build on "weird" and "creepy" and the book manages to make the reader queazy and uncomfortable quite a lot. The ending almost flew over my head - unless you know certain things you will be completely lost - but in a very strange way... I found it oddly satisfying. I would recommend this to people whose buzz words include: dark academia, authentic campus life, pretentious philosophy, character-driven and "REALLY weird".

Hamlet

Author: William Shakespeare

First published: 1603

Pages: 159

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Finally can tick this off of my TBR. I respect and appreciate Shakespear rather than like him and that is all I am going to say.

Dangerous Alliance: An Austentacious Romance

Author: Jennieke Cohen

First published: 2019

Pages: 448

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

Look, if I were 13 I would probably really enjoy this one. There is nothing exactly wrong with it and if you want something you do not need to use your brainpower for, go ahead. Unfortunately, I am 30-something reader with hundreds of books behind me, not to mention sarcasm for blood. So I found it on the whole dull and forgettable. Let´s just leave it at that.

[thoughtsofmyown30]

My father was very abusive to women, my mom was treated as a play thing to him out of fear she was his slave and had been broken in by him many times over.

My Father laughed at humiliating and physically pain fully whipping my mom. He had her clean the house nude his sadist nature reminded her to never hesitate or let him see her question his command. I had seen my mother crawling on her knees and hands a dog collar and leash attached my father leading her around all day treating her as a real dog she ate from bowls on the floor he forced her to use the yard as her bathroom, she wore a tail held by a large metal bulb that was in her bottom he locked her in a dog cage when she upset him or to show off his pet to his work friends. I hear her sobbing and crying out as father whipped her body and her private parts using enemas ginger root plugs icy hot hot sauce restraining cuffs nipple piercing attached to a chain that was hooked to her private parts. His blood daughter from a previous marriage was treated the same way. Sexual physical mental emotional broken and trained to be his slave. Disobedience was harshly punished he had other ppl just to come over and watch him beat his slaves and watch them suffer then fear driving them making them degrade humiliated displayed naked treated and dressed up as teen girls or dogs. Both forced to sexually play with each other and others as well as there master. He was the town judge so no one gave him any issue no matter what it may have been. My mom and sister had been forced to be knotted for his bday gift anal alway. He took pictures and video recording the event as later using as black mail to make them fear what ppl would say if they ever saw them. It always worked and both would be doing more perverted twisted kinky humiliation in stead.

I was told to watch or join in be a man and use his house slaves if I refused he would be insulted and they where treated worse for it.

So I sometimes would start whipping there ass already shredded by father but taking more as I made sure he felt I was doing it 100% the would be incoherently sobbing begging mercy.

I was using meth at 13 years old my mom and sister where kept coked up to make them feel more able to obey deal with pain easy and earn the drug that made them feel numb but was the very thing making them degrade themselves to make it easier to get abused..

My father was a souless pos. My first gf was 13 I was 16 she was a run away from many miles away her past was daily second by second a living hell.

She asked if I could get her high she was. Cute and very sexy submissive and obedient off the bat to me. I told her that I was looking for a gf if she wanted the job she would have a home with me. She agreed great ful for my offering she knelt down and orally sucked swallowed and kissed my cock as a that was all she could do to make me feel like she

Was great ful. I told her before I took her to my father's home what she would be seeing. She looked at me and said she was only going to serve me my pleasure my stress my boredom was to be taken out on her. She was raped by family friends and beat as well daily. If she was going to be treated that way she was at least going to say who could have her willing to be treated that way by me. She was new to meth and I still was but I was 3 years plus every day night I could be doing it. My body was used to the training grounds if meth. She was so horny and the meth made her body freely behaving as she tried to get me aroused ensuring her body was used. She saw my father walking in the kitchen mom was bent over and being fked anally hard and fast her body whipped freshly marked tears rolled down her face my sister tounge deeply in side her father's ass licking as he roughly as he could pounding her ass hole his fat long thick cock stretched out mom his tip was almost as fat making it hurt when he pulled out doing it often to add to the pain pushing it back in spit and her pussy juice only lube she was going to get. Enemas before anal always two if needed rinsed by a hose in the yard, I loud and proud told my father who never stopped fking his slave smiled and said he was proud of me finally his eyes saw a man now that I had said this was my first and new slave she was to be living with me 24/7 daisy watched my father drilling his wife father noticed and barked at her for staring she yelped scaring her and apologizing calling him Lord as his new title he loved it and allowed her to call him that. I sold a lot of dope and always had drugs money and nice shit older women and younger always trying to find out how they could be the one who could secure me and my money for them to ride easy in life. I did that shit cuzz I wished for death so I tested mortality every living second I could.

Yeah I'm fucked up morally and I admit I started to see why father enjoys his slaves. My new toy was waking me up by making my cock her priority, she stayed in my room if I left high good in my fridge and I had my own shower washing drying machine t.v computer internet. So she was not board.

I came home every time even after I was gone days in a row to see a naked girl laied out belts paddles straps tied her self up and had been ordering a list of adult toys to be used on her to better keep my interest. She loved being fked anally hard until she was crying it sore hurting badly my cum filled her ass her mouth cleaned my cock every time I finished cumming in her ass. She gave her enemas before I was home to stay clean shaved her ass pussy and body or waxed it. I bought my own apartment to sell my dope out if and when I took her to my money spring she saw women come hang out and flirt with me using sex there body pretty and they where perverted some more then me trying to sell sex or be a good trade they get high and stay and will do anything I could think of no matter what it was in return. Daisy mad yelled at one of my regular friends who I liked as a friend she was cool and we joked about that shit I told her to earn 5 grams all she had to do was strip that girl naked and paddle her bottom hard fast and long until she agreed to behave like you referred to my friend. Jenny grabbing that girl pulled her over her lap tearing her clothes off roughly holding her ass down pinning her with strength alone and infront of all the people I had in my place she thrashed that girl scolded her daisy blushed sobbing begging to be let go daisy was reduced to involuntarily calling jenny Mommy pleading with her as she regressed to a young child. I had an idea and paying in dope jenny was to teach my girl how to conduct her self. Daily once at my money tree farm daisy was training to be craving for a painful whipping it was my wish to have a girl crave pain and humiliation making it pleasure to her broken mind. Jenny had that cunt lesson fully learned in under 2 months I said I wanted a pet a fully functional trained puppy slut. 7 months daily training lessons daisy obeying her hit teacher who had broke her will by using a harsh whipping on her ass down her pussy lips and thighs inner her clit butt hole beat hard to break her of any hesitation or thought of not obeyed respected eagerly awaiting to serve the pain of a whipping was done to a point that she feared that lvl and would obey as to not earn that stage ever again. Jenny said for 13 ounces of premium ice she would be at my call anytime or place to deal with the naked bitch I had drooling over my boots licking my fingers and playing fetch with a small skinny rubber dildo.

I after thought agreed to a ounce every two months in trade for jenny to take a month off and training my bitch every way possible then I would pay her a fat ounce and she would return two months later to train daisy in something new. Even bringing a young girl her age to turn daisy bisexual. Other older and cruel men I felt with often brought there sluts with them showing off your slaves willing ness to obey any task given to it was bragging rights and showed how much control you maintain as well. Blacks mexicans whites and a Japanese guy I liked having with brought there slave new or one that was never failing to please her master would be brought on party nights and showed off for the party favor. We had drugs cash every where liqure and music the basement refurbished into a bar and striper club poles and kinky shit everywhere to treat a slave as a fking slave. 7 bitches drugged up until they hit the max lvl making them degrade themselves as we watched playing cards they crawling naked crying as there skin was bruised from a belt or other implements cages liking them in to gags so the animals where quite. The jap okatuk brought his sister her friend both whom looked young and feared okatuk as he threatening to beat them both and both fear overwhelmed them crying as they showed off playing with each other. Japs look so young and even if they where I loved training Young girls to be sluts at still a young age in that concern. We party hard two weeks straight was normal.

[marshunter06]

Duncan’s Good Reputation?

Inspo credit and mad love to @stuckupwindbag your post about Duncan’s first PO becoming a monk totally inspired this. Then it turned into a 5+1 cause I’m a sucker for those things.

One-

Oddly enough, Courtney first finds it through a letter. She hadn’t meant to be snooping, but with their relationship beginning again, trust was a touchy subject. She can just hear her mother’s voice- “once a cheater always a cheater hun, don’t ever forget that.'' To be fair, he left the open letter in plain view. It was just sitting on top of his kitchen counter close to where she placed her car keys. She was only looking for her keys when she accidently ended up glancing at the letter. It was handwritten. She would only skim it.

Duncan,

Nice to hear from you personally instead of through your new parole officer asking for advice. Glad to see that you’re out of trouble nowadays. I always knew you had a golden heart. Speaking of advice, I gave you some that I know you took- Congrats on the outcome - I finally did listen to my heart as well. After some traveling I found my place on a mountain on a little island. I’m finally at peace and I’m happy. Never thought I would say this, but thanks for getting in trouble all those years ago. I wouldn’t be on top of the world if it wasn’t for you.

Much love,

Your old PO

David, a newly devote Monk

“Hey Princess, did you find your keys?”

She jumps as the voice and moves as far away from the counter. If he noticed she was acting weird, he didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he picks up her keys then tosses it to her. He smiles as he sees the letter.

“Thanks… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

“Is it cool if we meet for an early lunch instead? I gotta mail David back.”

“You mean brunch? Sure… who’s David again?”

“Brunch is for pansies. He’s my old parole officer. Dude just became a monk, go figure.”

Confusion was written all over her face as she chose to ignore his brunch statement. She waits to see if he’ll elaborate, and surprisingly, he does.

“We met the first time I got out of juvie, he was meant to be a mentor to me sorta. It didn’t work out that way. I kept getting into trouble and he tried to help, but he couldn’t because of protocol. I didn’t really care, but it bothered the hell out of him. Right before I left for Island, I told him to quit his job and do some soul searching since he was so unhappy. Besides, I figured I’d win and I wouldn’t need him anymore. Guess he finally found his calling.”

Duncan shrugs it off like it’s no big deal, but Courtney knows there’s more to the story he’s not telling her. She doesn’t push for the details, just happily accepts that he opened up about a piece of his past.

Two-

She almost loses it when she finds him repeatedly liking the same girl’s post on Instagram. She decides to get information before confronting him. When she finds out the girl was an ex she was ready to kill him, until she reads through the comments. The first picture is of a selfish of this gorgeous blonde with blue eyes. The caption read: Your fav girl is back, and this time with a new username!

duncansthename: with love huh?

ashwithlove: you know it dunkie (;

The second picture wasn’t any better. The same girl is smiling at the camera in a bikini at the beach. The caption read: Sun’s out so your fav hun’s out!

duncansthename: you’re not very creative Ash.

ashwithlove: did you even read your own @?

duncansthename: lol same old Ashley

ashwithlove: back at cha asshole (:

The third picture is when she became curious instead of just angry. Another selfie except this time her hair was considerably shorter. The caption read: New hair, who dis?

duncansthename: geez who hurt you babe?

ashwithlove: *rolls eyes* says the guy who broke up with me through a text.

duncansthename: we were 13! I said sorry already, besides you were going to do the same thing.

ashwithlove: I know, I’m just teasing (:

The fourth and final picture she comes across is what finally gives her all the pieces. Ashley was smiling with her eyes and both hands up pointing at a rainbow. The caption read: Never been happier in my life than right at this moment.

duncansthename: guessing it went well then, congrats Ash

ashwithlove: I owe it to you dunkie! Thanks to you, I can be ash with love <3

duncansthename: don’t get all soft on me now, I don’t do that shit

ashwithlove: sure tough guy, maybe I should message your princess (;

duncansthename: stay away from my girl, you live on the other side of the world now anyways

ashwithlove: no promises, besides the heart knows not distance only love

duncansthename: you’re unbelievable

ashwithlove: I learned from the best (;

“Pizza’s here if you’re ready for a break Princess.”

Even though she was no longer jealous, she still wanted to make sure her assumptions were correct.

“Duncan, who’s Ashley?”

He doesn’t even flinch, a good sign since he all but jumped away when she confronted him about Gwen way back.

“She’s an ex girlfriend of mine. My first girlfriend actually.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry Princess, I’m not carrying a torch for her. Besides, she has a girlfriend now.”

“You’re not just saying that right?”

“No? That’s a dumb thing to lie about. If you met her, you would know. She’d hit on you instantly.”

“But you just said she has a girlfriend.”

“Her girl would probably hit on you too. You’re fucking gorgeous Court.”

She feels her cheeks warm up at his compliment. She still wasn’t used to him being sweet again, so she shrugs it off.

“Stop changing the subject.”

“Just being honest. Anyways, you just reminded me to reply to her message.”

“You still message each other?”

“Every now and then… She says hi… shit and now she’s FaceTiming.”

“Dunkie! Let me talk to your princess! I know she’s there!”

“No! I always knew you would try and steal my girlfriend after having your heart broken by me.”

“As if. You were the one left heartbroken after I came out to you.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.”

“Okay, but for real. Thanks dude! I can finally be me now. It’s officially! Your fav girl is out and proud! Mom took it better than I thought and she’s going to meet Dana on Monday!”

“Told you she would accept you. Your mom loves you.”

“I know, thanks for listening though.”

“Anything for my first girlfriend.”

“Careful, I might actually hold you to that! I gotta go, but double date soon?”

“You live in London!”

“So? Okay I really gotta go! Bye Dunkie! Tell your princess I said hi!”

Ashley hangs up on the call leaving Duncan slightly annoyed, but not really. He was about to apologize to Courtney, but she stops him. There was no need, besides the pizza was getting cold.

Three-

If being on a reality show taught Courtney anything was that she shouldn’t be surprised at anything. Still, she was caught off guard when she bumped into Chef Hatchet on her daily run through the park. She was even more thrown off when she sees that he’s not alone. He had six kids with him. He lets them take their hands off the walking rope as long as they promise to stay within the playground. The children all nodded yes then ran off towards the slides and swings.

“Courtney? Is that you?”

“Chef? What are you doing here?”

“Just taking the daycare kids on an outing. They’re repairing our playground, so I thought it would be nice to take the kids to the park.”

“Daycare kids?”

“Yeah! I’m a daycare teacher now.”

She must be in an alternate reality, there’s no way Chef Hatchet could be around children voluntarily. Especially with half the shit he helped pull on Total Drama, no sane person would hire the man.

“I can see you’re confused, but this is my true calling!”

“No offense Chef, but are you okay? Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

“I’m perfectly fine, Courtney. I thought Duncan would have told you already.”

“Duncan?”

“Yeah, he was the one to convince me I needed to do something different.”

“Wait, Duncan told you to quit and you actually listened?”

“He gives pretty good advice, that kid’s a good listener. I’ve never been happier.”

“What exactly did he say to you?”

“Just that even I deserve to be happy and to give it a chance.”

One of the kids starts crying and Chef is immediately on the move. It’s a strange sight, but Chef is extremely patient with the child and soon the little one is off running again. Who would have thought?

Four-

Courtney was ready to go grab her second cup of coffee when her phone buzzes. It was a text from Heather. She was going to ignore it until she saw that her boyfriend’s name was mentioned.

Heather: I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Pass that message to Duncan. He still has my number blocked.

Courtney: How do you even have my number? Also why were you texting Duncan?

Heather: Your boyfriend’s the one who gave it to me. Also that’s none of your business.

Courtney: You made it my business when you texted me. What did you do?

Heather: I didn’t do anything… okay fine I bitched him out for being nosy.

Courtney: Um… what?

Heather: He was butting in on my relationship with Alejandro again.

Courtney: Are you sure we're talking about the same Duncan?

Heather: Okay fine. I may have bothered him about my relationship.

Courtney: … and why would you do that?

Heather: He’s honest and he’s not afraid to tell it to my face even if he knows I’ll get angry.

Heather: Look, just tell him I’m sorry and that Alejandro and I are okay now.

Duncan picks her up after work and she immediately wants to bring up the messages. She waits until they’re back at her place to say anything.

“How was work Princess?”

“Fine… um… so Heather says she’s sorry?”

He raises an eyebrow at that. He wasn’t expecting that either apparently.

“I told her to only talk to you in case of emergencies. I should have never given her your number, sorry Court.”

“Normally I would be angry, but I’m just curious now.”

“Heather’s been picking fights with Alejandro because she’s afraid of commitment. She found out we got back together, so she asked me how we did it. I told her that she was being stupid and that he clearly loves her. Somehow I end up listening to her break up and get back together with him only to break up again. This was only last month too.”

“Well, I guess they’re back together again. She told me I should tell you that too. Is that why you blocked her? Cause she was being too annoying?”

“No. She obviously loves the guy, she just needed someone to slap some sense into her. I’m surprised she apologized though.”

“Me too, guess she’s really changed. Are you going to unblock her? I think she genuinely feels bad.”

“She should after what she said.”

Courtney waits patiently to see if he would tell her, and just like last time, he does. There were no secrets between the two. Duncan just had a bad habit of forgetting to tell her things that he didn’t think was important.

“She said some shit about you and I got pissed.”

“Typical. Well I don’t care what she thinks. I can’t believe she would talk about me and expect me to help her.”

Her phone buzzes and she can’t help but roll her eyes at the message. It was from Heather again, unbelievable.

Heather: By the way, you’re both invited to my engagement party.

Five-

Courtney learned long ago that she could only count on herself. She learned that the hard way after she started drifting apart from her sister and her parents were no help. Admittedly, part of it is her fault too. They were always interested in different things, it was hard to find common ground.

Things started to change on her birthday. She gets a call from Cate and maybe it’s because they’re older now, but they reconnect. She’s grateful that she at least has one family member she can count on.

The two sisters become inseparable and they tell each other everything. Today was no different.

“I can’t stand him sometimes, but I love him.”

“He’s a good guy Court. You know, I still haven’t thanked him yet.”

“Thank him for what?”

“For bringing us together.”

“What are you going on about Cate?”

“While mom and dad were going through their divorce he reached out to me and asked how I was doing. He told me that you didn’t take it very well and he suggested that we talk about it. I put it off for months. I didn’t know what to say, but then it was your birthday and I knew this was my chance to say something without it being totally awkward. Now here we are.”

“He did that?”

“He did. He really loves you big sis. You picked a good one.”

She smiles at that. It’s true. She didn’t fall for a bad boy after all.

A bonus-

She used to think he ruined her life, turns out he made it so much better. Well, until now.

She almost hangs up at him when she got the phone call. The only reason she didn’t is because her stupid heart told her she still loves him. She really should’ve expected this. He went to juvie, he had a record, why wouldn’t he end up in jail again?

“Princess are you still there?”

“You wanna tell me why you’re locked up? Again!”

“How was I supposed to know I wasn’t allowed to walk inside?”

“The door was locked and it was someone else’s home!”

“Well they need a better security system, that was way too easy.”

“I’m going to hang up on you.”

“Wait! I’m kidding. Sorry, can you please just come bail me out.”

“I’ll think about it.”

She hangs up the phone then screams into the closest throw pillow. It was supposed to be their date night and now her date was in jail. He is never going to hear the end of this once she bails him out. She was all dressed up and now she was going to waste it by going to a detention center.

She was still fuming as she gave the address to the Uber driver. She didn’t even notice that she had arrived until the driver told her so. Except she was definitely not where she needed to be. She was in a neighborhood with nice houses up and down the block. Duncan must’ve given her the address of the house he broke into instead. Great. She was just about to figure out how to call Duncan back when the phone rings again.

“Are you here yet Princess?”

“I thought you only get one phone call.”

“I took another guy’s turn. Where are you at?”

“I’m at the house you tried to break into. You gave me the wrong address!”

“Shit. Sorry, it’s right down the street. Just cut across the park and you should be there.”

“You’re in so much trouble when I get there!”

She had to take a deep breath and calm herself before she started walking. He is so lucky she loves him.

When she enters the park, bright lights catch her attention. She wants to look away, but the path is along the lights. She stops when she reaches the bridge. There he was standing in the middle smiling at her. She heads toward him already asking a bunch of questions, but he doesn’t answer any of it. Instead he pulls her close and kisses her. When her eyes open he’s kneeling on the ground with a ring.

“Courtney, I love you. You’re my favorite girl and I know that everything that happened in my past lead me to you. I know I can be myself around you and still be accepted. We have our ups and downs, and I know I don’t deserve you, but I love you. There’s no one else I can count on without fear of judgement. You’re my princess, marry me?”

“Yes! Of course it’s a yes! I love you too and that’s all that matters.”

She brings him up to kiss him again then he slips the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly.

“You know, you really had me worried.”

“I’m not dumb enough to get caught. I left that life behind me anyways.”

“No, not that. I was worried that you were going to lose your good reputation.”

“Did I scare you that badly? My reputation is anything but good Court.”

“Oh I don’t know Dunkie, I think there are a few people who would say otherwise.”

A/N- There probably could’ve been a better title... anyways, 5 times Courtney finds out Duncan changes someone’s life for the better and the one time he changes her life for the better. (Alternatively you can say that she changes his life for the bonus as well).

[dickd0c]

STRIKE

CHAPTER SIXTEEN — “day four, pt one”

Nic woke up at about 11:00 A.M. the next day. She checked her phone and frowned seeing how late it was, rolling over to turn onto her other side.

On the other side of the bed, Alpha was sound asleep. Nic had noticed for the past few nights that he never held her or cuddled when they went to sleep. It was like while they were having sex—or more specifically, while he was teasing her, considering he hadn't given her a single orgasm yet—he was openly flirty and humorous among other things, but as soon as they were having any other interaction, he was back to cold and distant.

Nic rolled her eyes. She was in no mood to deal with his volatile behavior. She swung her legs off the edge of the bed and plopped down onto the hardwood floor, adjusting her wrinkled clothes before heading to her room. There, she brushed her teeth and took a refreshing shower. Nic hadn't told anyone, but she had applied for a job interview a few days back, and the interview was today. Despite waking up so late, she still had time to make it if she didn't stall.

Nic quickly dressed herself in a white blouse, black pencil skirt, and a blazer. She grimaced at the blazer before putting it on, noting to herself that she should get a new one—she'd had that one since her debating days in high school.

Slipping on some modest heels and checking to make sure her hair wasn't too unruly, she grabbed her phone and portfolio folder. Nic quietly walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen where Tank was leaning against the island shirtless. When he saw her walk in, he dragged his eyes up and down, quirking an eyebrow.

"Why are you dressed like that?" he asked her, setting his phone to the side.

"Job interview," Nic replied shortly, her voice giving away her nerves. She flattened her palms out on the sides of her skirt to hide their slight shaking. She really wanted this job—as nice as it was to simply lounge around the apartment all the time, she wanted to get out sometimes too.

"Oh, what's it for?" Tank smirked.

Nic opened her mouth, but she was interrupted by the rumbling of her stomach. Tank moved around the island to get to the fridge, pulling out some milk and grabbing the box of cereal that was already sitting there. Nic smiled at him gratefully.

"It's for this European makeup company. They have a location pretty close by, and they're looking for lab assistants," Nic said, smiling nervously as she grabbed the bowl of cereal from Tank and set it down in front of her on the island.

"Oh, I think I vaguely remember you telling me you do science shit in college. What's your major again?"

"Material sciences," Nic replied, muffled by the bowl she pressed to her lips to down the rest of her cereal.

"Sounds smart," Tank said thickly, a goofy grin on his lips.

Nic rolled her eyes, smiling as she placed her bowl in the sink. "I have to leave now, though. Would you let everyone know I'll be back in maybe two hours?" she asked, straightening her skirt.

"Sure," Tank shrugged. "I think everyone decided to sleep in, they might not even be up when you get home."

With a nod, Nic was out the door with her phone clutched tightly, walking down the steps of the apartment building to see her Uber was already waiting for her. She opened the door to the back and climbed in rather ungracefully, giving a small smile to the driver before he took off. Nic spent the twenty-five minute ride rubbing her sweating palms on the side of her dress, glancing out the window every five seconds expecting to arrive. She'd occasionally pick up her phone to aimlessly text someone or play a stupid game, but then she'd drop it and go back to being nervous. She opened up her portfolio and checked to make sure her resume, references, pens, and notepad were all in there, and then ten minutes later she did the exact same thing again.

Nic's phone vibrated against her thigh, and she picked it up instantly. What if the company was calling to tell her the interview was off?

She looked at the screen to see that Athena was texting her, and sighed out of semi-relief. Using her thumb, she slid up on the screen to see the message.

Athena Received 12:06 PM good luck bitch! ur gonna kill it

Nic grinned, shaking her head.

Athena Sent 12:06 PM i'm so ducking nervous literally shoot me

Athena Received 12:06 PM they'd be idiots not to take u. tho idk how ur lab skills are but still

Nic sighed, glancing out the window. As she looked back down at her phone to respond, the speeding car hit what must have been a road bump, making her phone fumble in her hands before it flew to her feet. The driver didn't even mumble an apology as Nic rolled her eyes and bent down to grab it, seeing the screen was still on messaging. She typed out a quick "i don't deserve you babe" and pressed send, turning her phone off and sliding it inside her portfolio.

A little later, the phone vibrated again. She pulled it out and swiped the screen open.

Alpha Received 12:09 PM what?

Nic frowned, wondering what his issue was. That was until she looked up just a bit to see the very first message in their conversation, sent by her just moments ago.

Nic's jaw dropped open as her fingers fumbled to type out a response.

Alpha Sent 12:10 PM shit. sent that to the wrong person sorry

He responded quickly.

Alpha Received 12:10 PM sure you did

Alpha Sent 12:11 PM it wasn't for you

Alpha Received 12:11 PM are you really that insecure around me

Nic rolled her eyes and turned her phone off. She was already nervous, so she didn't need Alpha making her annoyed too. A minute later, when he probably realized she wasn't responding, her phone buzzed with another text from him.

Alpha Received 12:12 PM what time is your interview?

Alpha Sent 12:12 PM 12:30

Alpha Received 12:13 PM what are you doing?

Nic huffed—what was with all the questioning? It was like she had already begun her interview.

Alpha Sent 12:13 PM sitting in a car.

Alpha Received 12:13 PM you should sit on my face instead

Nic barely had time to gasp at the message, because just as she started choking on her spit, the Uber pulled up to the make-up company she would be interviewing at. Shooting a smile and a thanks at the driver, she stepped out of the car with her phone and portfolio, watching him zoom away like he couldn't wait to get away from her. Nic frowned, slightly offended. She wasn't even a bad passenger.

You get three stars for attitude, she thought to herself, tapping at her phone as she turned and walked into the main entrance of the building.

Tucking her phone into the pocket of her skirt, she walked up to the receptionist typing away at her computer. When Nic got closer, she could see the screen reflecting on the forty-some year old woman, cringing when she saw the main screen of a popular dating website on it.

"Excuse me?" she cleared her throat, seeing the receptionist click the screen away.

The receptionist peered at her over her glasses, scanning her up and down with a scrutinizing look. "Here for an interview for lab assistant?" she asked monotonously, as if she were tired of Nic's presence already.

Damn, why are strangers so annoyed around me today?

"Yes, I am," Nic replied, straightening her back. She felt her phone vibrate against her thigh, but she ignored it.

The receptionist pointed to the hall on Nic's right, a long manicured finger waving in the air. "The third door on the left. Good luck."

Nic thanked the receptionist, turning on her heel to walk slowly down the hall. She noticed that with every step she took, she could hear her heels clicking on the floor. It made her straighten her posture and lift her chest up—that sound always made her feel like a powerful woman.

She pulled the third door on the left open, peering inside to see a few people about her age seated on their phones before she stepped inside herself. A few of them glanced up at her as she walked past them, but nobody said a word. Nic took a seat at a wall where nobody else was, looking up as she sat to see two doors on the other side. She presumed that's where each interview was taking place, two at at time.

Nic pulled her phone out to check the time, while at the same time it buzzed again with another notification. She swiped up with a scowl, seeing two new messages from Alpha.

Alpha Received 12:14 PM i woke up with morning wood and you weren't there to help me :(

Nic nearly laughed out loud at the sad face. It was truly astonishing how Alpha's behavior changed when the topic was about sex versus when the topic was about literally anything else.

Alpha Received 12:16 PM are you ignoring me?

Alpha Sent 12:16 PM yes

Nic shook her head at her screen, tapping the sides of her phone as she waited for his next messages. She couldn't wrap her head around it—he could be intimidating, terrifying even, one moment, but annoying and overly sexual the next.

Alpha Received 12:17 PM that's rude. might just have to punish you

Alpha Sent 12:17 PM do you ever think about anything other than sex?

Alpha Received 12:17 PM do you?

Touché.

Nic glanced up around the room, getting an odd feeling that someone was watching her. However, all the other people were just like her—staring down at their phones. Someone sniffed, and Nic turned her head instantly to see a girl with straight black hair blowing her nose.

Shaking her head, she looked back down at her phone.

Alpha Sent 12:17 PM yeah, I'm thinking abt my interview

Alpha Received 12:18 PM hmm. I'm thinking about you

Before Nic could even finish reading his short message, he sent another one

Alpha Received 12:18 PM *your ass

Alpha Sent 12:18 PM what did I do to have to put up with you?

Alpha Received 12:18 PM oh didn't you just say you don't deserve me though?

Alpha Sent 12:19 PM shut up

Alpha Received 12:19 PM make me

Nic stared at her phone, twiddling her thumbs, unsure of what to say.

Alpha Received 12:20 PM nica?

Alpha Sent 12:20 PM yea?

Alpha Received 12:20 PM good luck

Nic smiled small to herself, tucking her phone back into her pocket just as one of the doors swung open, a girl with wild blonde hair storming out the room without giving a glance to anyone. Everyone waiting looked up at her with open mouths, watching her leave the waiting area with furious tears down her eyes.

Nic gulped nervously.

"Anica Jean?" a woman peeped through the open interview door, scanning the seated people with tired eyes.

Nic stood up, straightening her pencil skirt, catching the woman's attention. She gave her a small smile and a wave, following her into the interview room.

The room was a little small, making Nic feel a little claustrophobic, but that was probably her nerves. She sat in a comfy little chair in front of a table, behind which the red-haired woman joined an older looking man.

"How are you, Anica?" the man asked, sounding much more awake than the red-haired woman looked.

"I'm great—Dr. Chaves, right?"

He nodded, smiling. "And this is Dr. Yanovna."

"Good afternoon, I hope your days have been fine so far," Nic greeted, hoping her nerves didn't show through her smile.

"Thank you—so to start off, would you mind telling us why you want this position?"

And just like that, her interview began, a circle of them asking her questions and her responding in ways she hoped made her seem smart but modest at the same time. Slowly, her nerves seemed to ease. All the questions they were asking her were questions that she had expected and prepared for.

"So, Anica, what would you say your greatest weakness is? How are you working on them?" Dr. Yanovna asked, twirling a pen in her fingers.

Nic opened her mouth right when her phone vibrated against her thigh. The people in front of her just smiled at her, probably because this has happened in other interviews as well. She cleared her throat. "Well, I guess it's both a strength and weakness. I'm good at following rules and guidelines, but that also means sometimes I'll follow people's words blindly—"

Her phone vibrated again, catching her off guard.

She cleared her throat. "—especially when I think highly of them. It's something I'm working on, both in professional and daily situations—"

Another buzz.

"—by forcing myself to take a moment to think over the possible consequences—"

Again, her phone vibrated.

Dr. Chave cut her off before she could continue. "Ms. Jean, perhaps you should check your phone. It may be urgent."

"Thank you," Nic hushed gratefully, slipping her phone out of her pocket. It lit up, displaying one name.

Alpha (3)

Nic bit her lip, forcing herself not to glower at her phone. She quickly silenced it, slipping it back in her pocket, swearing to herself that she had silenced it that morning before she even left.

She looked up at her interviewers rather warily, glancing between them. "Anything else?"

"Actually," Dr. Chave cleared his throat, placing his hands over each other, "I think we've heard everything we needed to." He glanced at Dr. Yanovna, who nodded in agreement.

They both stood up, holding their hands out to shake hers.

"Oh," Nic said quietly as she stood. She shook Dr. Yanovna's hand followed by Dr. Chave's, making sure her handshake was firm despite the crushing feeling in her heart.

Dr. Yanovna seemed to catch the look on her face. "Don't read into this," she said, a reassuring smile on her lips brightening her tired eyes just a bit, "your interview went well. You should hear back from us in a few days."

Nic instantly brightened, so obviously so that Dr. Chave chuckled at her. "Thank you, really, thank you," she said, gripping her portfolio to her chest as they opened the door for her. "And have a wonderful day!"

She didn't even hear the next name they called out, deafened by her rushing blood, a grin on her face as she walked to the door to leave the waiting room.

"Wait!"

Nic turned around to see a blond man stand up from his chair and approach her. She frowned, wondering what he wanted.

"Yes?"

"Were you at that protest? Where the old man fell?"

Nic's frown deepened. "Yes... who are you?" she questioned in an accusative tone.

"Don't you remember me? I got dragged away with you?" he chuckled, and Nic got a good look at his puppy brown eyes and floppy blond hair.

Nic's eyes widened. "Oh! Yes, yes I do remember you. Did you manage to get away? One of my friends pulled me away."

The man shook his head, a frown playing on his lips. "No, I got arrested for assaulting an officer—which I guess I kinda did, but he had it coming. Anyway, they let me go after a few days. Their evidence was more incriminating towards them."

Nic winced slightly, eyeing the man and memorizing his face. "How are you going to explain that in your interview?"

He shrugged. "I'll just be honest, I guess. I'm Lucas," he said with a sweet smile, holding his hand out for her to shake.

Nic took it and shook, smiling herself. "I'm Anica—Nic," she introduced herself.

"Can I get your number?"

Nic's eyes widened slightly, her hand slipping from his.

Lucas rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, keeping eye contact with her as his smile turned bashful. "There's something attractive about a girl who'll attack cops with me."

Nic smiled, which instantly made him brighten up. "Sure," she said, taking his unlocked phone and typing her number in. "Good luck—it's funny that we'd be interviewing for the same position," she said with a small laugh, passing his phone back.

"Yeah—but I heard they're taking three people. Maybe we'll be two of them," he said with a small smile, dropping his phone into his pocket.

Nic tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Maybe. I know I wouldn't mind. Listen, I have to get going now, but shoot me a text, yeah?"

"Yeah," he said with a soft laugh, and Nic could feel his eyes on her as she opened the door and walked back out into the hallway.

Nic was glad to see a different Uber driver on the way home. She watched the houses pass through the window, still riding a high from being told that the interview went well. Her phone buzzed all of a sudden, lighting up to show two tames.

Alpha (3)

Unknown (1)

Nic slid up, opening Alpha's messages first.

Alpha Received 12:40 PM so have you considered the whole sitting on my face thing?

Alpha Received 12:42 PM wait are you in your interview right now?

Alpha Received 12:42 PM crap sorry. you got this

Nic then moved her fingers to open her message from who she assumed was Lucas.

Unknown Received 12:51 PM hey this is Lucas. just thought this would make you laugh—I got up to get a coffee from the hallway and managed to spill it down my shirt. now they're going to think I'm a criminal AND dysfunctional.

Nic smiled down at her phone before turning it off and looking back out the window, a deep sigh flying past her lips.

[dailyaudiobible]

07/26/2020 DAB Transcript

2 Chronicles 17:1-18:34, Romans 9:25-10:13, Psalms 20:1-9, Proverbs 20:2-3

Today is the 26th day of July welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we greet the new week together and just kinda lookout. There’s is Monday coming, there’s Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. These are days that we will live into, but they are in our future. They are out in front of us. We are standing here looking into this new week and if we become aware of it, we can realize we are at a precipice. The choices and decisions that we make are gonna fill those days and write the story of this week. And, so, we are here and in advance we can make some decisions about the path that we’re gonna take as we follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And, so, welcome to a brand-new week and let's see what comes our way and invite the Scriptures to give us…to give us the wisdom that we’re gonna need as we go into this week. So, we’ll read from the New Living Translation this week and continue our journey in the Old Testament through the book of second Chronicles. Today, second Chronicles chapters 17 and 18.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for this…this vista where we’re looking out into the new week and our calendars have things on them and we have plans, but we submit those things to You. We want to walk through this week in lockstep with You every moment. We want to live this week to its fullest in Your graces and in Your smile. We want to be in Your presence and be Your delight as You are our delight. And we are so grateful. We are so grateful for what we…what we read in the book of Romans, that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. May we just…may we just fall back into that like we’re falling back into a warm pillow and being surrounded by Your love knowing that we can confidently go into this week we have nothing to prove. It's proven. There's nothing we can earn. It's given. You have come for us and have invited us to collaborate with You to be the light of the world, to shine the light of what it looks like to be made a new creation upon this earth. And, so, may we live into that with all of our hearts this week. It's all available, it's ours to choose. And, so, Holy Spirit come because we want to choose it, but we forget. We are so enveloped in this culture that we start behaving like it constantly, when You invited us out from that - in it but not of it - so that we can be the voice the pulls everyone else forward. Come Holy Spirit into this week we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is the website, it’s where you find out what’s going on around the community. So…so, check that out. Check out the different sections there in the website or you can check them out in the app too by pushing that little drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner. Check out the Shop where there are resources available for the journey. Check out the community section for different links to…to connect.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. Thank you. Thank you as we navigate the summertime. Thank you for your partnership. I’ve said it a thousand times, if we were not in this together, we wouldn't be here. And that is the nature of this beautiful unique community that we share. It wouldn’t work if we weren’t here together. If we were not in this together taking this journey like a voyage across a year and through the Bible, if we weren’t in this together it wouldn’t work. And, so, thank you. Thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button at the top, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning Daily Audio Bible I’m calling in from Maryland. I’m calling for a young man who called in a few weeks ago. I didn’t catch his name, but he asked for prayer for his family but towards the end he was very adamant and very specific and very strong that he needed prayer for himself. He said he was 13 years old and for whatever reason whenever I hear children call in it always strikes my heart. So, I’d like to know…let him know that someone heard him and does pray for him. Even though I don’t know your name, you know who you are, God knows who you are. So, I’d like to that you know I do pray for you every morning and I wish you well. Thank you.

Good morning DAB family my name is Maureen __ I’m calling from Nigeria. I really want to thank you Brian for everything you’re doing for us. God is seriously using you to do wonderful work in the life of his children. I want to thank you also for keeping this platform always very updated. I want to thank God in a special way for the life of my husband. He has been a very wonderful man. God has been working wonders through him to reach our families, to reach our loved ones, to reach our friends. And I pray that God will continue to provide for him, that all the sacrifice he’s making for the sake and good of others will be replenished a 100-fold. I ask God to continue to sustain him in good health and mind and body and to worship in spirit and in truth all the days of our life. I pray also for every other family in the DAB and ask God to bless all these people – guidance, strength and hope who worship him. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Thank you everyone. Thank you so much. Bye.

Hello DAB family this is Brother Ox this is July 23rd and I wanted to give my many thanks to Brian. I’ve been saved since I was about 15 years old and have been in church all of my life but recently have been confronted with the fact that there is probably a lot…there’s a lot of the New Testament I haven’t like read through beginning to end cover to cover, don’t meditate on these…on this wisdom. And as many times as I’ve tried beating my head over Romans, it was not clicking. I wasn’t being able to meditate and receive that. So…so this romp through even just the first eight chapters of Romans has been incredibly profound and I can’t thank him enough for it. I found myself in a place where with all of these things going on in the world that I see what I stand against, I have a very weak grasp on…on what I stand for and why…I understand what I stand for but not how to express why and I need to go back to the Scriptures, the New Testament particularly, to understand that. So, I thank everyone…I thank the DAB family to bringing me to this point. Prayers go out to Gigi from the loss of her father. We’re are all in prayer for you sister and I can’t…we extend our compassion out to you in this and pray that God gives you the strength to you, you and your family to step forward. And Treasured Possession, your…your words today about…about our brothers and sisters who are found with autism and whatnot, they are incredibly inspiring. I thank you so much for those. God bless you all. This is Brother Ox signing out.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family this is __ calling from South Sudan. I am very grateful for all of you, everyone that is part of this community, you have touched my life through your prayers and encouragement and I also thank God for the Hardin family - Brian, Jill, China, Ben and the younger one I believe is Elijah. Thank you for this great ministry that God has committed into your hand. Your faithfulness to continue these many years. I…I would like to share with you that today is my wedding anniversary, 23rd of July. My wife and I met each other at the University of Texas. In a prayer meeting I pulled up a chair and sat behind a girl and after that prayer meeting the girl turned around and looked at me and caused me to stop breathing. So, I told her that because I stopped breathing, she…she would have to become my wife to keep me breathing again. And 32 years later God has been faithful to us. 32 years, five children who have been successful. So, we thank God and we bless him in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hi family this is Sally North Dakota. So, I haven’t called in for quite a while, so I wanted to call in and check in with everybody. Want you to know that I love you. I appreciate Brian and Jill so much and China. I love our family that we have here. Want to give out a shout out to Annette in Oklahoma City. Happy birthday, 10 years, wow that’s totally awesome. I’m on my second year listening and I feel like I’ve been a part of the family forever. So, it’s really great. Annette, I love what you shared about never being alone and…and the things that you’ve learned from the DAB. I too have learned a lot about myself and…and I’m thankful that we all continue to grow together and pray for each other. And I want you to know Annette that I love you. You’re very special to me. And I also wanted to lift up Prodigal and his new queen and Claire’s grandma that’s in a…that’s ion a coma. So, heavenly Father we just lift this family up to You. We thank You for giving her life and the life that she’s had. And Lord, we pray for Your perfect will to be done in this family as You draw them close to You and to each other. We thank You for Your comfort and the love that You give us during this time. And, so, Prodigal, it’s always good to hear from you. And everybody else, I love you so much and I’ll continue to call in from time to time. Okay. Bye for now.

[lovehugsandcandy]

Four Words, One Reply (Colt x MC)

A/N: I haven’t written anything recently because my muse was GONE after prom on Friday. Muse said that she needed a break because she got everything she wanted. Back now, for better or worse. Here’s a bit of fluff, a bit of wish fulfillment for me and PLEASE let this offering of fluff atone for the angst I posted earlier.

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: 1556 words

Rating: PG-13 (Swearing, probably, because I swear a lot.)

Summary: Ellie graduates from Langston.

Tags:  @deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @client-327 @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @hazah @flowerpowell@poeticscolt @powdesiree1986

Ellie dreaded the day that the letters stopped coming. The worst of it was the terror, deep in her soul, that she would never know. Would he stop writing when he fell out of love? When he was sentenced to jail? Worse?

Her roommate thought it was romantic. "No one writes letters anymore, Ellie. It's sweet." Little did she know that it was likely a necessity, a way to avoid being tracked. Electronic communication could be dangerous and she was certain she didn't even have Colt’s current phone number. All she had were the letters.

They came unexpectedly, with no rhythm. Some months, she would get a letter a week, with varying return addresses, some with stamped return envelopes, to varying cities, so she could write back if she wanted. She always did.

Some months, there were no letters. The worst was four months, spanning the summer and start of fall semester of junior year. Ellie was in a panic, barely able to sleep until, finally, a thin envelope in her mailbox, no details, no explanation, only an "I love you, Ellie." She cried, sobs in the middle of the campus center, oblivious to the stares around her.

Sometimes they came with money, always cash. Never a ton, but enough to make her worried about what he was doing. Always earmarked for something, $400 for new school books, $100 for her "first legal drink at Flanagan's and a cab back home." At first, she sent it back; she didn't want his money (she wanted him) and felt bad taking it. He would return it to her, quickly, with a gentle admonishment that it was his way of feeling connected, a way of being there with her in spirit. She took it more often than not now but, when the nights were long and the nightmares were strong and the terror wouldn’t subside, she would send his money back, knowing it was the fastest way to get letter in return, to know that he was still ok. And, though it made her uneasy, she did let him buy her first legal drink.

She knew, with their last conversation in LA, that she was signing herself up for a bit of loneliness. He told her that he needed time, he couldn’t be in LA, he needed to get away. She understood, she got it. She knew the memories this place had for him. She asked him to come with her; wasn’t Boston far enough away? She still remembered his sad eyes, the last kiss. He told her he would wait for her, but he didn’t expect anything, said he didn’t know when he would see her next, but he would, one day. She didn’t know if he was trying to outrun his grief or hide from it, but she prayed he succeeded.

And now this, a month before her graduation, a cryptic note, barely a letter, on the back of a photograph. She could recognize the image, the Bean (he was in Chicago?) and pored over the picture, looking for a hint of him. She couldn't find Colt, no smirk, no leather jacket but, in the corner of the reflecting mirror, warped in the curve of the monument, she finally spied what he wanted her to see. A sleek bright pink European import, looking amazingly like her car back in LA. And on the back, four words and a return envelope, addressed to PO Box in Pittsburgh. She read those words, over and over and over again, in class, in bed, memorizing Colt’s scrawl as if it would bring him back to her, in the flesh. Finally, three days later, she printed a picture of herself, a selfie in front of the magnolias blooming by the library, her fiercest look on her face, graduation cap in her hand. She wrote one word, on the back, and sent it, kissing the envelope as if it would make it travel faster.

In the meantime, she finished classes, hung out with friends, and went on with her life, trying to live enough for both of them.

~~~~~

It was ungodly hot for Boston in May and Detective Wheeler shifted in the shitty folding chairs the university had rented for graduation. He was nothing but grateful to be here and so happy for his ambitious daughter, graduating Summa Cum Laude from her dream school. He was just so proud and had told her as much at breakfast this morning, with her and her roommate and some friends, all celebrating their achievements and simultaneously scared of what was ahead. He was just ecstatic that they all made it this far, intact and whole, willing to take nothing for granted.

He remembered being terrified, after the months senior year when she was lost to him, terrified she was gone, terrified he had failed her, his wife, himself. He still remembered the relief when he opened the door that morning and she was there, two kids in tow, asking for help from a horror they never should have been involved in. Who would have thought the crew he was supposed to be hunting was more Lost Boys than Mafia? And who would have thought they would have been influential in bringing down an actual, organized crime unit in the LAPD?

After, his prodigal daughter had returned, and then gone to school, and things had generally returned to normal. She studied hard, came back for breaks, and confided in him, every detail of college. The all-night studying sessions, the boys who seemingly had their eye on her, even a few snippets about the parties she attended. There was only one thing she didn’t share with him, one thing too personal, too close for her to divulge to her old man. He saw the letters, sometimes, and ached to read them, but he trusted her. Giving her this space was important to him, a way of redeeming himself for watching too closely for years. She had earned her freedom.

And that freedom brought him here, to graduation, from one of the best universities on the East Coast, sitting in the heat and fiddling with a program. Riya would have come but her graduation was the same day so he was here, alone, bringing best wishes from LA.

Well, almost alone. A shadow fell over him, a soft clearing of a throat and, when he looked up, he dropped the leaflet, turning back to watch it sway to the ground.

“Is this seat taken?”

He stood, eye to eye with the boy, no, the man, next to him. He hadn’t seen him in four years and stared; his shoulders had broadened, visible in the short-sleeved dress shirt, eyes still intense, jawline and cheekbones seemingly sharper with age. The last time he had seen Colt Kaneko, he was broken, mourning a father he barely knew and a life he never would live. Now, he seemed more at ease, as if time didn’t erase all wounds, but made them easier to deal with. He still looked like he would never truly relax but that he was, for now, at peace.

Colt extended his hand and he shook it, then gestured to the chair. “Sit down.” He picked up the brochure, watching Colt settle in, putting a bouquet of flowers under his chair. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

A small smile. “Yeah, Ellie doesn’t know either. I don’t know if she’s going to hit me or hug me.”

Wheeler grinned; he knew his daughter better than that. “My money’s on neither.”

~~~~~~

Ellie couldn’t stop laughing and smiling and celebrating. She felt alive. After the ceremony, she desperately ripped off her gown, sweltering in the heat. She couldn’t stop handing out hugs, to professors, friends, her roommate. The crowd was crushing, families and loved ones, all fighting to get to the graduates; she couldn’t find her dad. She knew he was here, somewhere, but the mass of people made it hard to see six feet in front of her.

Finally, it was like the crowds parted and there he was. She dashed, sprinting towards him, laughing and wrapping him up in a hug. They were flying back to LA in a few days, once things calmed down and she was packed, but she wanted to see him now, in the midst of one of the biggest celebrations of her life. She pulled back, looking at the joy in his face and laughed. 

“Love you dad!”

He kissed her cheek. “Congratulations. I am so proud of you.”

She went to smile at him again when she saw something, someone, over his shoulder and froze with a gasp. He dad smiled and stepped aside and there, alive and whole and in the flesh, Colt stood, clutching a bouquet and looking painfully out of place. She stared at him, time stopping, the crowd a dull roar around her as they stared at each other.

She took a step, then another, and was soon running, leaping into his arms, her lips finding his, the flowers falling as he clung to her, desperately. It was all she could do to hold on as he kissed her like he was drowning, four years of missing each other communicated through touch.

Finally, he pulled back, stars in his eyes as he looked at her. “I love you, Ellie.”

“Always.”

[i-writeandread-blog]

Wonderland - Chapter 13

And just like that, Wonderland is back! (Y’all it survived Thanos snap after all) Geez, I missed Jared and Ali so much!! Enjoy!

I was surprised at first when Jared grabbed the bottle of brown liquor, but he was nothing if not a team player. We all loosened up rather quickly and I knew we were in for a long night.  I started shuffling the cards and looked to my two friends.  "Asshole, right?"  They nodded.

Jared's confused look was really adorable. "Jare, asshole is a game.  Let me explain the rules to you.  Girls we are going to have to ease him into this, he's a newbie and doesn't drink."  I explained the rules and how you don't want to end up being the asshole at the end of the round.  He caught on quickly and surprisingly was better at it than us three.  Especially considering we along with our group of friends had been playing it for at least five years. Darlene was not amused that she had been asshole two out of the three times we played and we all could tell from her not so subtle sighs and shrugs.  Usually when we played she would be the one doing most of the "winning."  At any rate, our hearts weren't really in it and we were getting tipsy a little too fast since we hadn't ate.

The food arrived and we were all happy to finally have something to do other than drink.  No one was speaking as we all consumed fries, burgers, pizza, and whatever else was available. We laughed a little at how much food we were devouring, then as if we all on cue thought about Nicky at the same time we started to cry. It was completely emotional in the room. I don't think we were ever going to be normal again as a group. The pain was going to be too much.

When we all seemed to be stuffed to the brim, Darlene started to shuffle the cards and set up for another game, when Jared grabbed her arm and stopped her.  The look of shock on Darlene was hysterical to me.  She was the alpha of every group.  Even her husband knew that she was the head of the household, giving in to her every desire.  "Please, don't." He said.  She looked to me and I nodded in agreement.

"Well, why the fuck not?" Dar questioned us.

"Because we are tired, we have jet lag, and we have a big day tomorrow.  Let's just call it a night and we can catch up more tomorrow. Please, Dar?"  I pleaded with her.

"Fine, but I'm breaking into MY mini bar when I get back to the room.  Thanks, Jared for the free booze. You're a doll."  She said and then leaned in and kissed his temple.  She stepped out of the room and said, "Come on Heather, we aren't wanted anymore." Heather got up and followed her to the door like a little puppy.

"Dar, that's not..." Jared stopped me. "Let them go." The door closed with a loud thud.

"Jared, I'm so sorry. I should have warned you about how crass she can be. I fear she may make me look badly. But you don't know the history or the stories behind our friendship."

"You're right, she does come off a little strong and I have to admit, I can't see how the two of you even know each other. I'd like to find out. Tell me while I clean up?" He got up and started picking up the liquor bottles and trashing them in the wastebasket.

"Okay, it's a doozy. You ready to hear some not so good things about your.... umm.... me?"

"Ali, you're my girlfriend. Just because we haven't actually said it out loud doesn't make it not true, so go ahead and call yourself that from this moment going forward, ok?"

"Alright, I guess I'll dive right in. I met Darlene at church." Jared spun around to look at me and smirked. "Yes, church, Jared. We aren't all heathens like you." He laughed, "uh huh."

"Well, it's true. We met at church. I was very active. My parents made us go as kids, but once I was older, I had the choice and I chose to still go. Silver Lake Baptist Church had a really big group of kids my age. We were teenagers. There really wasn't much to do in that po dunk town. So we went to church. It beat sitting at home.  Anyway, my cousin Lynne was always picking up strays.  Animals and people.  She has a kind heart, much kinder than mine.  One Saturday night we all met at church to go somewhere, probably bowling or skating... something along those lines, and in walks Lynne with Darlene.  I had never seen her before, but I was used to always being the center of attention.  I guess I sensed how strong of a personality Dar has and didn't want her to steal the spotlight. I immediately started picking on her.  It didn't matter to me that I was at church.  So it started with her weight, she has always been a bigger girl.  Then I found out her mom worked at the casino.  So I made some snide remark along the lines of, "my family plays the games there, we don't work them."  As if that somehow meant I was better than she was.  I don't know what got into me, but I just kept going until we were back at the church and she broke out in tears.  It was time to leave so I caught a ride with Lynne and Dar.  We dropped her off, so I knew where she stayed.  The next day feeling so guilty, I went to her house and knocked on the door, she answered and asked me in these exact words: "what the hell do you want?" I apologized and we became friends... through the years there's been a lot of ups and downs.  I've seen her go from raising her own self practically because her mom couldn't be bothered to do it, to being kicked out of her moms house because the many guys she brought over didn't like her.  I was there when she was being abused and then later when she met her husband.  She's tough on the outside because she always had to be.  She's never had it easy.  Three years ago she had a son who died of SIDS.  She's just never caught a break."  I began to cry. "As bitchy as she is, I get her. And I'm not really any different from her. I was a bitch to her in the beginning. That part of me still exists."

——————————

Ali confessed some darkness about her while I cleaned up, and it seemed to me that she has remained friends with Darlene out of guilt all these years. I felt bad. The two of them had a history, but that didn't mean they had anything in common other than the past. I didn't like that she was beating herself up.

"Ali, you're not a terrible person. You were a child. You did childish things.  Sometimes people are in our lives for a season, they fulfill their purpose and then they go.  It's okay to move on."

“I don't want to walk away from so many years of friendship with her, that would be a bad thing to do."

"Ali, you have nothing in common with her and I'm gonna be honest here, it seems like this life, the one you left behind for greener pastures was left for a reason.  These people all have issues with alcohol and drugs.  I watched Shannon spend years of his life fighting those demons.  Most times those battles can't be won.  They'll suck you down with them."

I watched her as she slowly started to realize I was right, taking in each one of my words and essentially chewing it over in her head.  I know she didn't like the idea that everyone she knew in her past growing up was essentially nothing more than just a means to her being where she was today.  They did not define her.  They could never be remotely anything as beautiful a soul as she was.  And for fucks sake, she deserved to feel better about who she was as a person.

"The girl sitting before me... excuse me, the woman... she is bright, beautiful, funny as hell, and more special than she will ever give herself credit for.  You have me now.  These people can and will move on. You are not the sum of these parts.  They aren't even a fraction of who you are.  And who you are is my girlfriend.  Say it, Ali.  Be proud.  I'm proud of you and your accomplishments.  You got this old bastard for a boyfriend.  Many tried, none came even close.  Say it, Ali."

“Uhhh"

I gave her the look.  The one that said, do it or else.

"I'm your girlfriend." She said meekly.

“No, babe.  Say it loud."

"I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"That's right, babe.  And don't you forget that.  You're mine.  And I'm your best friend now."

I wanted to tell her right then that I was in love with her, but I knew it was too soon.  Or maybe it wasn't.  But I didn't want to press my luck.  Besides, I wasn't a complete asshole that I'd make her stop all contact with her friends from North Carolina.  She would do that on her own terms and timeline.  But she knew she had a new life going forward, and her future was going to be so bright.

In fact, my first goal was to get her writing again.  It was her dream.  And I knew she would be perfect at it just by listening to her stories.  They were all so colorful and unique.  She had a way of really getting you to feel like you were there in that moment.  I could hear her talk for hours.

“I was one of them once, you know... there wasn’t anything to do when we got older but to drink and fuck around with drugs.” Ali said so low I almost didn’t hear it.

“Oh for fucks sake, Ali. Seriously, what did I do as a teenager? I know you know.”

“Sold drugs.”

“Yes, and do I do it now? Do I drink now? Do I go and break into peoples houses now? No. People change. You have changed. How can you not see this? You changed the minute you decided your life didn’t belong here anymore. So can we concede that fact and stop beating ourselves up over bettering ourselves while others choose not to?”

She nodded and accepted that I was right. I was finally done cleaning up the mess we had all made and I was in desperate need of my “Ali cuddling session.” I walked to the bed and lowered myself into it. She followed suit. Once both of us were in bed, I reached for the remote and turned on the tv.

“What would you like to watch babe?”

“Something funny. Doesn’t matter what. You choose.”

I flipped through rapidly until I spotted Gilligan’s Island. This would be fine because I thought it would be nothing more than just background noise. Boy, was I wrong. Cute little Ali was full of surprises, yet again.

“Oh my God! I love this show. I never understood why it was Gilligan’s island and not the Professors or the Captains, or even the old rich couple. I mean if anyone had the money to buy an island it would be them, I mean I know they didn’t buy the island but still, just seemed weird he was just the skipper. And he was kinda a doof. Ginger was way prettier than Mary Anne, but I guess I can appreciate that...”

I planted my lips on her to get her to shut up. If I hadn’t she would have rambled forever, no doubt in my mind. I kissed her lustfully, and wrapped my arms around her in a huge embrace. She sighed into me. It was the first time she truly loosened up since she got here.

“I love you. My sweet, funny, adorable Ali.” The words tumbled out of my mouth.

She tore herself from my grasp. Sat right up. And stared at me as if I had three heads.

@nikkitasevoli @snewsome756 @llfd1977 @branded-with-a-j @letojokerownsme @lady-grinning-soul-k @lolainblue @msroxyblog @burritoverload @lostinletoland

[dibs4ever]

DickBabs Wedding Day (Fanfic)

As promised here is my DICKBABS wedding fic, it turned our longer then I expected but I hope it’s worth the read

“Get back here!” Stephanie grinned chasing after the toddler and scooping him up with a smile. She tickled his belly causing him to giggle.

“Say my name” she smiled pressing her forehead up the against the 15-month-old’s

“Teph” he grinned playing with the sequence on her short sleeved lavender bridesmaid dress

Stephanie smiled “That right” she bopped his little nose

Cassandra entered the room followed by Jason.

“There you are” Cassandra smiled “Let me see my nephew” she held her hands out

Stephanie shook her head “Barbara gave me one duty as her bridesmaid----to get my nephew dressed, you’re not taking that from me. Besides they’re letting you watch him while they are on their honeymoon” she mockingly argued blowing raspberry on Nathan’s cheeks

Cassandra rolled her eyes continuing into the room “I’m not, let me just hold him for a second, besides if it bugs you that much I’ll let you and Timbers play house with him for one night” she held her hands out and Stephanie handed him over. “Barbara is dressed, she look’s amazing”

“Mama!” Nathan smiled

Jason rolled his eyes and walked toward the girls “Now you did it”

“I see mama” Nathan said again

Cassandra shook her head “Sorry bud, we let you see her now you’ll be throwing a fit when we have to pull you away from her, so you can play ring bearer” she brushed the strands of jet black hair away from his little face

Nathan looked at her oddly before twisting his body sideways, making it slightly difficult for Cassandra to hold onto him “Unci Aye see Mama” he reached his little arms toward Jason

Jason held his hands up “Sorry Rugrat, I’ve been told no men are even aloud in that wing of the manor”

Cassandra turned Nathan, so he was back in her arms “I feel like he talks so well for his age” she commented

Stephanie nodded in agreement

“Hey Nate” Jason spoke catching the toddlers attention “What’s her name?” he pointed to Cassandra

Nathan pointed a finger at Cassandra “Ass” he said proudly

Jason and Stephanie laughed

“Ass” Nathan said again, enjoying the reaction he got from his aunt and uncle

“It’s not funny” Cassandra barked “Nathan Cass” she held the C

“Ass” Nathan said again

Jason laughed “Dick wanted me to tell you to just deliver the rugrat to the room where the us groomsmen are when you’re done getting him dressed” he explained before leaving the room

“I’m going to go see if Alfred needs any more last-minute help” Cassandra said passing Nathan back to Stephanie

She nodded and watched her leave the room

“Let’s get you dressed little stud muffin” she told her nephew as she kissed his chubby cheek

“Welp I hate break it to ya Dickie but your kid curses like a sailor” Jason grinned closing the door to the room where the male side of the wedding party was getting dressed

Dick was looking in the mirror making sure everything was straight “Were you making him say Cass’ name again?” he quirked an eyebrow

“You bet I was” Jason laughed flopping down on the couch

“You know she hates that” Tim pointed

Jason shrugged “Would I be a good brother if I didn’t annoy the tar out of my siblings?”

Damian rolled his eyes from where he stood on the opposite corner of the room

“Alright, how do I look? Dick asked turning to look at his brothers

Bruce stepped out of the adjoined bathroom and nodded his head “Barbara isn’t going to know what hit her” he complimented clapping Dick’s shoulder

Dick smiled proudly

There was a knock on the door and Tim stepped forward opening it, Stephanie stepped in holding Nathan now dressed in a tux. Her once neat hair was now slightly tussled “Well it took some wrangling, but I got him dressed” she smiled

Dick laughed moving forward “Hey buddy, look at you” he stretched out his hands

Nathan grinned brightly “Dada!”

He took the toddler and threw him lightly into the air causing him to giggle

“I’m going to go get this fixed” Stephanie motioned around her head

Dick nodded “Thanks for getting him dressed Steph, he looks great” he set the baby down, immediately he ran toward the curtains.

Bruce knew his grandson well enough to know that the small human was going to attempt to climb them, so he quickly stopped him by scooping him up.

Barbara took a deep breath looking herself over in the mirror. She turned around just as the hairdresser was finishing up fixing Stephanie’s hair.

“I’m sorry about that” Barbara apologized

Stephanie laughed standing up “Forget about it, it was my fault for putting him down and not keeping a close eye on him. I swear he’s part spider or something. I stepped out of the room for a second and he was half way up the bookcase”

Barbara laughed “That’s Dick’s fault, he taught him how to climb just about anything”

Dinah smiled “Only, 15 minutes left till the ceremony is supposed to start”

Barbara nodded “Don’t remind me.”

“You nervous?” Cassandra cocked an eyebrow

Barbara nodded “Like you wouldn’t believe, I’m getting married....to Dick Grayson. If you had told me that when I first met him I would have said you were crazy.”

Dinah laughed “Considering you were 12 and he was 9 I’d say I’d understand”

She took a deep breath “I need to sit down for a moment” she passed her bouquet to Dinah and sat down, running her fingers through her hair careful not to mess it up

“You’re not going to run, away are you?” Stephanie half joked

Cassandra nodded “Yeah cause the guys have your kid and if you run away he’s going to be raised by them.... can you imagine how bad that would turn out?”

Barbara laughed “I’m doing this——I want to do this.” She stood taking the bouquet back “I’m ready to marry Richard John Grayson.”

The doors flung open and Helena rushed in dressed in the same matching bridesmaid dress as the rest of the girls “I’m here, I’m so sorry I’m late but I’m here with” she glanced at the time “8 minutes to spare “she let out a breath

Barbara laughed “Sorry the hair and makeup girl just left”

Helena shrugged “No biggie it’s my punishment for being late. You on the other hand look stunning!” Her eyes widened

Dinah nodded “I know right, with her looking like that we’ll be lucky if her and Dick even show up to the reception”

This made the bridal party laugh as they made their way to the door

Dick stood at the front of the aisle bouncing on his toes. He was never nervous but right now he felt like he was about to faint. He looked around at the crowd of guests in front of him he locked eyes with the Clark Kent who was sitting in the second row Jon and Lois beside him. Clark grinned sending him a thumb up

The music started, and Dick moved his attention to the doors as they swung open. First up was Helena and Damian, there were a couple of “Awes” heard from older women finding the sharp dressed yet short for his age 13-year-old paired with the much taller than him woman. As Damian passed the Kent’s Jon covered his mouth to suffocate a chuckle earning a glare from Damian.

Next was Jason paired with Cassandra then Tim with Stephanie and finally the Best man and Maid of Honor Wally and Dinah

Nathan came out last serving as ring bearer, Wally’s daughter served as flower girl “Awes” filled the room as the toddlers entered holding the small white pillow and basket with Bruce beside them guiding the toddlers gently along.

As Bruce tried to hold Nathan’s hand and move him a little quicker the 1 year old stopped in the middle and narrowed his eyes “I do it” he said proudly

Bruce shrugged releasing the boy and walked ahead, this made Nathan quickly follow his grandfather causing the crowd of guests to laugh.

Once they were at the alter Wally bent down taking the ring box that was tied to the pillow and Bruce sat in the front row with his grandson.

Then the wedding march began, everyone stood, and the doors once again swung open revealing Barbara dressed in her white gown, her arm hooked with her fathers. Dick’s breath caught at the sight of her as she walked down the isle

Suddenly he felt tears welling up in his eyes as Jim led her down the aisle. Dick blinked back the tears “Get ahold of yourself Grayson, this isn’t like you” he thought

Jim and Barbara stood in front of him

“Who gives this woman to this man?” Alfred asked, yes Alfred was officiating the marriage. Would they honestly trust anyone else?

“I do.” Jim stood straight

Dick stepped forward to take Barbara’s hand but felt her being held back. The couple looked back at the police commissioner “Dad this is where you let go” she whispered

Letting a low sigh Jim leaned forward pecking Barbara’s cheek

“Take care of her Grayson” he lowered his eyes

Dick nodded “I will sir”

With that Dick took Barbara’s hand and turned so they were standing in front of Alfred

“We are gathered here today to unite this man and this woman in marriage” Alfred began.

After going through the stereotypical wedding ceremony Alfred smiled “The Bride and Groom have decided to read their own vows which they will do at this time, Master Dick” Alfred nodded toward the man

Dick nodded, to everyone’s surprise he didn’t take out a paper “Barbara, as I stand before you today thousands of memories flash through my mind all the way back to the day we first met. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs. Good things and bad things. Surprises that neither of us saw coming. I’ve left and came back more then once. But one thing has always remained the same. It has always been you, no matter how far away I went, how bad things got or whatever obstacle we were going through something always told me you would always be the answer. Our love story is not a fairy tale. In fact, it is probably one of the furthest things away from a fairy tale.”  This line caused some eyebrow raises from guests who didn’t know the full story of Dick and Barbara. Dick grabbed both of Barbara’s hands in his “But one thing is for sure it’s ours which makes it perfect. I know I’m nowhere near perfect, but I promise to do my best to be as close to that as I possibly can for you and our son” he kissed her hands

The guest clapped

“Easy Master Dick I have not told you to kiss the bride yet” Alfred teasingly wagged his finger.

Dick chuckled

“Alright Miss Barbara it’s your turn” Alfred smiled

Barbara took a deep breath “Well I’m going to do my best to follow up with that” she joked   “Dick, like you I’m standing here just thinking about everything we’ve gone through. We’ve known each other longer then I sometimes realize. I remember when I was 17 there was this short lanky 14-year-old boy who confessed he had a crush on me and asked me out, obviously I shot him down. Then a year later that same boy sneekingly stole a kiss, naturally I punched him in the face” Dick and Barbara exchanged smiles “Little did I know I had just kissed the love of my life for the first time. Fast forward through puberty, and some years later here we are standing in front of each other and that same boy is the father of my child and soon to become me husband. Through everything you never ever gave up on me. You have always been my biggest supporter, even when I was 12 years old and stressing about a test I could count on you to encourage me and make me feel like everything would be okay. I can’t thank you enough for all the things you have done for me through the years. I hope that I can always do the same for you, I vow to always be your biggest supporter through thick and thin no matter what life throws at us”

Next it was time to exchange the rings, when they finished Dick turned to Alfred “Can I kiss her Alfie?”

Alfred smiled “Yes Master Dick, you may kiss your bride”

Dick shot Barbara a wide grin, she smiled back just as widely as he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her close her arms found their way to his neck and in one swift motion Dick pressed his lips to hers. Both embracing in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

They pulled apart still smiling “Ladies and Gentlemen it is my honor to introduce to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Grayson!”

The guests cheered as Barbara and Dick clasped hands they stopped so Barbara could take Nathan from Bruce and together the family of 3 made their way up the isle and out of the room.

“Alright let’s go get wasted!” Jason shouted——-which lead to the reception, and that’s a whole other story.