#it made thematic sense to me in the moment if i finish it up ill prob change it

[notandvm]

a very rough unfinished sketch/outline concept i did that i'm posting because my ability to actually finish anything is basically gambling on slots but i need to at least get it out there because kiss & tell is such a good song for them and i won't hear otherwise

[un-pearable]

okay season 5 lets GOOOO: gonna take a minute to talk plot here. a few minutes actually my apologies i have come into your askbox swinging.

i feel like the season definitely couldve been streamlined in some aspects and i do wish they had done some things differently so bear with me for a second while i try to put things into words. so the way the season kicks off, it seems like they're going to be trying to explore kai & lloyd's relationship given kai's "ill watch over you" and how he tries to slot back into the de facto leader position after lloyd is gone, but they kind of lose that as the season progresses, which is annoying because the pieces are there!

like. morro is simultaneously foils for both lloyd and kai. last season, kai's "im gonna be the green ninja !!!!!!" gets brought up again by both chen and lloyd and also further brought up by lloyd that kai still… hasnt really gotten over himself, but it doesnt really get properly followed up either then or now. he's still subconsciously prioritizing gaining glory for himself as opposed to prioritizing what needs to get done, even if it means that he's not the one to do it.

this carries further again back into the beginning of the arc after lloyd is gone and kai keeps trying to be the leader, even if he repeatedly has no idea what he's doing. its about his glory, not about who would make the best leader (zane its zane the only reason zane leading didnt work out was because the writers knew it would be too powerful), and again is relevant to the arc because kai does this to try and fill the void in the team that lloyd left. its about the two of them.

given morro's existence as somebody who started off as "im gonna be the green ninja !!!!!!!!" and then never got over it, you'd think that we wouldve gotten a fight between him and kai where we circle back to the things brought up last season by lloyd (which works out really nicely as morro is connected to both of them by nature of being narrative foils) and we get a nice tidy wrap up in a battle of ideologies.

ok consider, for a moment: kai wants to be the one to take the glory and beat the snot out of the giant hairy eyeball, and then at some point realizes that lloyd is the one who has to beat it. unfortunately for him, lloyd is in the middle of a deathmatch with morro, so kai steps in to take morro on, making good on his promise to look out for lloyd, so that lloyd can go fulfill his destiny or whatever and save ninjago. as a result, kai steps away from his ego and the moment of glory he's always wanted bc he's realized that there are more important things to deal with, and then we get a fight dialogue abt how kai also thought he was going to be the green ninja and morro is like "why dont you resent lloyd too?!" and kai responds that he got over himself and his massive ego because !! character development !!!!! and the reason this fight is happening at all being because kai has finally let go of his need for glory & because morro never did and AUGH IT COULDVE WORKED OUT SO WELL

going back to lloyd i really dont understand why he wasnt the one to kill the preeminent - esp given his conversation with garmadon about how lloyd needs to grow up one day & how lloyd has his robe now symbolizing him taking on his dad's mantle, it wouldve made wayyyy more sense to have him be the one to finish the job and put his father to rest. yknow. like do i want to subject lloyd to round three of killing his dad? no ofc not but also. thematically yes absolutely

so then, the question becomes, if lloyd is the one to nuke the preeminent… where does that leave nya? and my answer to that is: she shouldve gotten a separate arc, frankly. this arc shouldve been about lloyd & kai's relationship, but in the canon arc nya is kind of just shoehorned in there to the detriment of pretty much everybody, including herself. she's got no narrative or thematic connection to the preeminent, shes not really relevant to the arc outside of the final battle, and she honestly deserved better.

OKAY PLOT STUFF ASIDE my brain has finally started turning on and the thought gears are cranking and i am beginning to form Opinions, which is great for me because i love having opinions. umm okay this is the other arc i am very familiar with and i had a ton of fun. it was very enjoyable. i got my terrible alt outfits and i am THRIVING

maybe one day the ninjago writers will have a season that doesnt nerf lloyd for the entire thing except the last three episodes. probably not but a girl can dream. whoever concepted the giant hairy eyeball and got it approved on a show whose target demographic is children is deranged and i love it. absolute madlad. godspeed for making something so horrifying.

i also find it VERY funny that morro's whole thing is "i am going to become the GREEN NINJA" like it even matters anymore. like bestie idk how to tell you this but that ship has sailed. the prophecy has been completed. functionally the green ninja title has no more meaning than the brown ninja.

also i cant believe cole is just . a ghost now. hes just like that i guess. i know we'll have to sort it out eventually but this is honestly a very funny status quo change.

ok i think thats aboutt it but yes i did really enjoy this season despite what my long diatribe above would have you believe. it was fun it was cool and i am very ready to head into the rest that this show has to offer.

also . btw if you dont want me to send u these things just tell me and i will stop w/ no hard feelings. personally i love people liveblogging things i like to me but i only belatedly realized this may not be universal so i am very sorry if its not 😔

yeahhhh season 5, while it has some banger concepts and The visually traumatic villain all good children's media has in their back pocket, is definitely where you can see the trend of incredibly good ideas with lackluster execution peaking... its still a really good and enjoyable show!!! but

anyway this is canon to me now i will be rolling it around in my head like a marble covered in paint. like those projects you do in elementary school art class or whatever. ooooh character parallels characters who are mirrors characters who are you but ___ but in EVERY possible direction between kai lloyd and morro.... fuck love triangles i need the threeway mirror. you are also Extremely correct that nya deserved her own thing + being more centered. water is fuckin cool as hell can't believe they flopped.

terrible alt outfits are requisite alongside overly grotesque villain design and im so glad you feel they delivered akdsjfds. the only scene i actually remember of this part is where jay, ever the out of touch accidental asshole, yells out "lloyd!! what's wrong with you!??" when morro shows up in his body but damn do i love it. this and cole on the bus when they're teachers,,, they're so stupid. they're canonically like 16. stop giving them jobs. keep doing it its perfect.

the prophecy nonsense getting dragged on for so long is so so frustrating but incredibly funny... what it means to be the green ninja changes every five seconds and honestly lloyd deserves it. just fuckin lie about what your powers are man. manipulate your friend group that being protectors means they gotta do x y and z. lloyd deserves his childhood shittiness back and all the others forgetting he was a petty little punk need to be reminded askdjfkfdsf

the fact!!! that cole just stays a ghost!!! fuckin wild. I never actually saw that get resolved when I was watching as a kid so for a solid decade he was just a ghost in my head. obsessed with the implications of him becoming human again but infinitely funny that unlike reasonable shows. dude just stayed dead after the finale. hi this is ninjago our stakes are REAL and our consequences LASTING. we promise. we made the earth guy incorporeal. he's chill about it now he thinks its cool.

edit: okay hey wait. does morro even know pixal exists. this is completely unimportant but i can’t stop thinking about it. shes still in zane’s head so i’d assume no but??? he does have lloyd’s memories??? does he even acknowledge her??? hm.

[hacash]

ted lasso 2x09 thoughts

ARGH

those are it. those are my thoughts.

Ok, slightly more coherently…

Sam’s getting recognition! Sam has his own chant! I love that for him. Love it all. It’s obviously so good that Sam is becoming an in-universe hero when we’ve loved him from his first scene - however, that also comes with the caveat of not wanting him to move anywhere from Nelson Road. I’m curious to see where they take it though, because I obviously can’t see Toheeb Jimoh leaving the cast before the show finishes, but at the same time this offer is so good for him?? I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know.

(If, on the other hand, Toheeb is being written out because he’s going on to star as a lead in another show where we could see more of his beautiful face and stellar acting every week? I would find that acceptable.)

Screeners’ reactions for this episode had me thinking something cataclysmic and dreadful was going to happen between Sam and Rebecca with them reuniting and it hitting the papers - and it ended up being fine?? Of course she’s torn about him leaving. Even if they end up never being together again Sam clearly represents something wonderful to Rebecca - possibility and the sense of being treated right - and those feelings don’t just go away.

I expected a bit more reaction from Ted about the whole Sambecca thing, but that little look in his eyes after their conversation did have me curious - does he disapprove more than he lets on? is he secretly pining for Rebecca already? only time will tell. also I did notice Ted was once again basically saying whatever Rebecca wanted to hear and agreeing at every single line - he might be going to therapy but he’s not out of the people-pleaser woods yet.

Another bombshell next year? OH COME ON. If that’s not a prediction of some sort of confession of love I will go out and buy a hat just to eat it.

SHARON. How I am going to miss thee. But it was a lovely and understated farewell to a character that I’ve really come to love - Sexy Mother Fucker; he stole my move, yaas - showing how much she and Ted have helped each other grow and I just *tear*. Also I’m a Tedbecca shipper through and through, but Jason and Sarah do have such lovely chemistry together.

Also the pub regulars basically pleading for free therapy? Aww.

Higgins luring Ted back to read Sharon’s note with a well-chosen letter based pun? I love this man to the ends of the earth.

I FUCKING KNEW THAT HIGGINS KNEW EVERYONE’S BIRTHDAY. I PREDICTED THAT SHIT.

Roy and Keeley…I’m sorry, I’m emotional and anxious and hopeful and I do not think they’re going to break up. Relationships go through messy spots and people struggle, and the mark of a good, communicative, grown-up relationship is that you take time and discuss your issues and move past them. Keeley and Roy’s relationship has always been characterised by that maturity, and I just don’t see a couple of ill-timed romance confessions breaking that down.

(If anything, we might get a discussion from Roy about Keeley trusting him - I’m guessing there’s a fair bit of time lapsed between Jamie’s confession and her telling all to Roy, and I can see that being the sticking point that upsets Roy, that she hid this from him for some time. He clearly didn’t feel at all upset by what happened with Nate; it’s the - arguably fair - point that Keeley didn’t let him know that her ex confessed love for her that I think is going to be the issue.)

Also, the ‘are you married’ question - coupled with the fact that we keep seeing Roy on his knees in front of Keeley - makes me think we’re going to get a proposal next episode.

Also I love that we’re seeing more of Keeley’s psyche beyond the ‘cute and supports everyone’ façade - her mother’s experience with ambition and not being able to achieve it is a really interesting little snippet, not to mention the reason she bonds so much with Nate and is able to see how someone seemingly ‘undeserving’ should be able to realise their dreams.

also her and Rebecca’s ‘bleargggggh!’ competition! and Ted thinking he was going to be on the cover of Vanity Fair! return of Biscuits with the Boss!

ok, deep breaths now

NAAAAAATE

WHAT ARE YOU DOOIIIIIIING

Is it bad that I sort of liked the whole thing with Keeley? Not in a ‘yes I want this to happen’ sort of way, but because it makes so much sense that Nate (particularly Nate in his current state) might mistake that level of bonding and emotional support as something romantic. We know Nate is insecure and hasn’t had much of a social life in the past, and that he idealises Keeley for her basic kindness and decency: much like Jamie in 2x10, he’s mistaking Keeley’s kindness as something more…it’s absolutely gutting to watch, and also so human and real that I can’t help but take my hat off to the writers for it.

(Honestly, there’s been so many posts on tumblr about how toxic masculinity fucks men over to such an extent that when they receive kindness and friendship for a woman they immediately think romance - but yeah. this show does tick all the boxes.)

I did see the kiss moment coming a mile away and was really worried that Nate was going to be…uh, very entitled about it, given his current state, but the fact that he wasn’t - that he was immediately horrified and realised he’d fucked up and stumbles away muttering about how he ‘is worried about it’ and ends the scene spitting at himself in the mirror again and looking absolutely disgusted with himself - well, in a way that just hurt more. (I mean, I’m relieved Nate wasn’t all bolshy with it because his reaction does show there is still some of the old Nate still there…but still, owch.)

And then that text from Trent…

Next episode is going to hurt like hell, isn’t it? I absolutely cannot wait for the showdown between Nate and Ted, it’s been a long time coming…like I’ve said, while I think ultimately Nate is going to have a redemption arc, because thematically it makes sense and would send some pretty iffy messages if he doesn’t, I don’t think it’ll come until season three. Right now I just want to see Ted get angry after several seasons of suppressing his anger, I want a full-blown emotional hash-out between them both - basically I want Jason and Nick to have me sobbing before 9AM.

My one question is: are we going to see Nate realising what he’s done, or not? Was this a pragmatic, doing-this-for-the-sake-of-the-club betrayal or a blind, lashing-out-in-frustration betrayal? In short: is Nate Lando or Anakin in this scenario?

I’m very curious as to what show people who say this ‘came out of nowhere’ have been watching. Nate’s been heading for some sort of implosion since mid-season, and we all knew it was going to hurt some innocent bystanders.

I’m saving something light and cheery after all the angst, so let me just say: cinema has never surpassed, and will never surpass, the scene of the Richmond boys dancing along to Bye Bye Bye. Almost made up for the fact that they were criminally underused in the rest of the episode, and quite frankly this had better be redressed in the season finale.

and WE FINALLY SAW COLIN DRIVING THE LAMBO. I don’t know what I find funnier: the fact that it’s some neon lime green monstrosity that every fourteen-year old boy would have dreamt of owning growing up (should my new Colin tag be Colin ‘I Need To Rethink My Relationship With My Car’ Hughes, or Colin ‘More Money Than Sense’ Hughes? enquiring minds want to know…) or as was pointed out to me by @kamillahn, the look of absolute terror on Colin’s face as he begins to drive. Colin, hun, please just buy yourself a Fiat. It’s not worth it anymore.

[phantomnostalgist]

Ethan Freeman Phantom interview

An interview with Ethan Freeman from about 1994 or 1995, printed in “Beneath the Mask” #8 (which I haven’t found my print copy of yet, but the interview was reproduced on our old POTO fan site). 

Also of note about Ethan: at the time he was one of the two youngest actors to have played the Phantom - he and Anthony Warlow were both 28 or 29 when first cast in the role.

Are there any differences between London and Vienna - if so, what are they? The general tone of the production in Vienna was slightly more Operetta-like, probably due to the language, the sound of the translation and style of acting of some of the players. The tempo was also at some points quite different depending on who was conducting, and would undoubtedly feel strange to me now. The audience tended to be less tuned in to the humorous moments in the show in general, and some scenes like "Managers I & II" for example, simply run better and are more clever in English.

How did you get the role? I got the role of the Phantom after auditioning for Hal Prince and Gillian Lynne and the Viennese producer and musical staff. They appeared very excited about the audition. I'd sung "Music of the Night" which they praised in a friendly manner (Hal is always positive and encouraging), and they sent me off to learn the segment from the Final Lair "Order your fine horses... This is the choice. This is the point of no return!" When I came back the next day to do it (the Phantom candidates appeared by then to have been reduced to three) Hal said "OK Ethan I want you to scare me!" So I did the section with as much power and venom as I could muster (Id never seen the show - I think Id heard the record once or twice...) and after it was done, Hal just said "Great. You scared me!" and that was that really. Later that day they explained to Alexander Goebel and me what they would like and would we be willing to share, obviously with Alex, who was very well known, being the dominant of the two. So we split 5/2 which frequently ended up being 4/3 as the run went along.

How did you research the character? I read the novel finally, all the way through. Ruth Hale, my partner in "Cats" at the time, later to premiere as Mme Giry in the Hamburg production, gave me a copy as a present. I'd seen several of the films over the years so I knew there wasn't much to be mined from those - although Lon Chaney Snr did display some magnificent body language, and I've nicked at least one dramatic gesture from him. Principally though, I had several long meetings with Hal in New York to talk about the role and show. He instructed me to go watch Michael a few times then come back and talk some more. Crawford was magnificent, at the peak of his vocal power and still fairly fresh in the role and I was moved and impressed as I have not been since by a Phantom. (Though Dave Willetts, I must say, also made a huge impression the first time I saw him, for his power and well-delineated psychotic behaviour.) At first I thought boy, you've got your work cut out for you on all fronts. So, I would say my "research" of the role was principally based on my own discussions with Hal and also largely on my own thoughts and feelings. Obviously most of the physical manifestations of the role, make-up, costume, blocking, etc were predetermined so there wasn't much scope for change. To be honest, I feel some of the Phantoms I've seen tend, in an effort to be different, to stray from the basic line of the drama and weaken themselves as a result. Michael's acting was extreme, yet very clear and economical at the same time, and I also try to offer the audience a complicated and ambiguous character going through clear, unambiguous moments of his life - otherwise it's so easy for the audience not to "get" everything that's there - or to "get" things that aren't intended to be there at all.

How do you feel on stage? So varied in thought and feeling that I can't really give a concise answer. I feel quite differently now to how I felt 600 odd shows ago. I used to have to concentrate on staying concentrated - now it just happens. I know what to achieve and just try to let it happen. I'd say I'm both in and out of Erik at the same time and he in me.

Do you think it's based on a true story ie. did the Phantom exist? I doubt it - I haven't read this newer novel "Phantom" yet and don't intend to until I finish playing the part. However I've been to the Palais Garnier and in all senses of the word it is a 'phantastic' theatre, one which easily conjures up many stirring images - beautifully represented in the Phantom designs, I'd say!

What do you think of Erik? I wish he'd let me have a little more time to myself! Oh, I don't know. He's a sad, bitter, brilliant man. He has a great brain and can be a real bastard. I find him easy to understand - he's motivated by a terrible profound loneliness and has been forced to create his own universe which has its own laws. Anyone who has known some kind of loneliness or feeling of apartness when they were children or growing up can tune in to this crucial aspect of the Man, which is his great mythical attraction. He is so powerful, awesome, in control and yet so hurt and vulnerable. He must epitomise great beauty and great ugliness at war with each other, reason and insanity, God/Satan, Id/Ego battling it out. In the end, he learns about sacrifice, shows mercy and is redeemed by love - a great, archetypal Romantic drama - another reason why the story has always been so popular. I can't stand it when I see Erik played as a "nutter". Yes, he goes "crazy" a few times, but in general he is not insane in the pathological sense. I feel if he is played as a schizophrenic or a psychopath, the romantic ideal of the story is dashed, because both of those conditions would indicate a "determination" that makes any hope of redemption impossible, and would break with the "Romantic" style. He is very melancholy, angry, egocentric, neurotic perhaps, and goes off into rages of frustrated sexuality, but he is not insane. And I'll kill anyone who thinks otherwise!

What do you think happens to him at the end? That's our little secret! I think the different fan magazines have probably spent pages on that so I don't see I need to contribute. He goes!

Why do you think the show is so appealing? Some lovely songs, great orchestrations, a nice mixture of melodrama and light comedy, some stunning sets and a lot of good theatrical magic: and on the thematic side, many of the things I've mentioned before, which I suppose you could define as the archetypal Beauty and the Beast scenario which, if honestly portrayed, can tug the heartstrings of even the most urbane Japanese businessman.

What is your favourite role of those you've played? Obviously Phantom is the supreme role in my repertoire to date. I did however, really enjoy my stints in other Lloyd Webber shows as well. Che in "Evita" was very cool to play and Gus/Growltiger, while exceedingly 'uncool' thanks to the heavy knitted costumes, was a joy to play, despite being totally knackering, and one that I was surely born to do. I really enjoyed doing Hajj, the Poet in "Kismet" with the BBC Radio 2 last year, working with the composers, and would love to have the chance to do that again on stage someday.

What role would you like to play? I'd quite hope to have a go at Sweeney Todd somewhere down the line and would still like to play the Celebrant in "Bernstein's Mass" at some point. (I've nearly done that a couple of times.) Add to that a heap of great operatic roles I'd love to do but probably never will and whatever new, unknown roles lie lurking up ahead. We'll wait and see!

End note from me - Ethan’s wrong about schizophrenia, but hey, this interview was 25 years ago and actors can’t be expected to be experts on mental illness. But I really love this interview, the depth he goes into, and how his sense of humour comes through too.

[uninterestiing]

i liked your post on matteo taking his time to process things, so i'd love to know what your thoughts are on david being outed?

hhhhhhhhh well from what i’ve seen in the tag, i disagree with like 90% of youse and was gonna hold my thoughts till later… but since you asked… yeah i reckon its good writing actually.

(beware under the cut, this is long)

so disclaimers before people get big mad: i’ve actually been in the situation depicted. i’m a gay trans guy who came out in year 12 & to me, it’s extremely realistic. teachers in my last year of high school pulled me aside to say all kinds of nasty shit and the rumour of my transness spread around pretty fuckin quickly. it was a fucked time in my life but i didn’t have any issues watching the last clip, i enjoyed it and found it pretty relatable honestly, especially the teacher bit because its a really common thing trans kids go through to be harassed more by staff than students, but i’ve never actually seen it be depicted before… but i’ll also say, im really not easy to upset and almost impossible to offend when it comes to trans stuff. i work as an openly trans person in the media and my skin is very thick, 17 year old me who was experiencing it real-time would have probably been shaken up a bit.

that said, like i discussed in my other post about this, realism doesn’t automatically equal good storytelling! so what is good storytelling?

big subject obviously, but rn i’m gonna define it as a consistency of theme, tone, and character. (its also how well you tie all those things up at the end but i wont comment on that because… druck ain’t finished yet and we need to remember that!) plus, of course, it’s just… whether you like it? which is completely subjective, and something i can only comment on for myself!

so i think the main issue here is that people expect things from druck it never promised them, and from the very beginning was never going to be.

take the perspective issue for example, which effects tone & character immensely. i’ve seen numerous complaints that the show isn’t depicting the trans issues from an internal perspective. which is interesting, since from the very start, we’ve known that was the case. we knew it was matteo’s season, and we knew how very, very closely skam shows follow their protagonists. everything is from their perspective. so i knew it was never gonna be about trans issues from a trans perspective because david was not the main character, he’s the love interest. that was evident from day one ya’ll it’s how the show is structured. and that is Not Inherently A Bad Thing, it’s just not what some of you wanted.

however… druck has stretched the limits of perspective more than any other version. the texts, for instance, are not just the main’s, and do a lot for fleshing out the background characters. also (and this is thematically important) it showed the way outing / spreading of rumours actually happens irl. re-watching the last clip i noticed that they leave matteo’s POV for a second, and “switch” to david as he’s coming down the stairs, realising what’s happening. not so much as to break the consistency of the show’s structure, but enough to make the audience really understand the gravity of what’s happening. it’s done really fluidly and i thought it was a genius way to both keep it matteo’s story, but also, give that moment a much needed trans perspective, because i really don’t think all that ringing distortion sound was matteo’s panic. 

and really, i just don’t think a trans person needs to be the main character of the show for it to be good representation. i think they have done an exceptional job of not tokenizing david by making sure to establish his whole character & his relationship with matteo before his trans identity was confirmed on the show, in the exact same way they do with the other evens and their mental illnesses in every other version. and honestly, when it comes to trans men, there’s very little media stereotypes or negative tropes that they could have conformed to because there’s not enough representation yet for those to have actually formed. like, we know druck won’t kill david off, and i don’t really know any other tropes that exists for trans men in storytelling at the moment. a lot of the show is covering new ground subject wise, they don’t have a script to follow, so some minor blunders are to be expected.

over all, the fandom jumps the gun every damn time. the show decides to have conflict or deal with a social problem and everyone looses it, as if that’s not been the entire ethos of skam since the OG. skam / druck is a teen show that deals with identity issues. every season picks topics to educate on through the story, and they do it with a lot of care and research.that’s the whole deal, it’s why the show exists, fucking of course they aren’t going to brush over trans issues, it amazes me that people thought they would, and that there would be no conflict and it’d play out like fanfiction fluff. here’s another really good post about it.

so obviously, this season is about about being gay and being trans, but specifically about outing, and has stressed this theme all the way through, way more than any other version. so friday’s clip is what i’d call a natural culmination of theme and narrative. in terms of the queer experience, and the trans experience, i think it was a very good idea to take on coming out / outing as a central thematic and narrative through-line, because it’s one of the central things gay and trans people have in common. and then analyzing them both in comparison and contrast throughout the story, really works and makes for good fucking writing, pacing and - yup, you guessed it - consistency.

i find the choice to situate a trans man as the love interest, and therefore, an object of desire, incredibly subversive. and though yes, stories with trans protagonists are lacking, literally any form of story where trans people exist is lacking, and the creators of druck wanting to tell a story about what it means to love & be in a relationship with a trans person is just as important a story to tell as any other, and complaining about what “type” of trans story is more important to tell first, or which aspect of trans existence to highlight more, is ridiculous. at the end of the day, one story cannot cover everything, and the writers had to make choices as to where their focus would lie. and there’s literally nothing wrong with their specific choices in subject matter (being trans in the context of relationship & outing, mainly), other than personal preference.

so like i said in my previous post: wanting a comfort show where trans characters exist, but the trans experience is not plot-relevant, is fine & cool. i really want that too, but not here. getting angry or upset that druck did… exactly what skam shows do… is stupid. and then turning around and blaming your dislike, which is born out of judging a show by the wrong genre standards, on “bad writing”, is just plain wrong. this show is amazingly produced. just… c’mon guys. chill.

(also @ every weird cis person in the tag giving fuckin condolences & saying their askbox is open if someone needs to talk…… stop. literally nobody asked. its so weird. we didn’t put a call out for you to be upset on our behalf. its just a tv show. like its super important rep for us… but its also just a tv show that people can just not watch if its not your cup of tea.)

tl;dr the friday clip was fucking good and made sense because druck is well written, acted, researched and produced, is really not transphobic (in fact i’d say it’s pretty subversive), and it’s also not the creators fault when you’re disappointed by the direction taken in a show that was crystal clear what direction it was headed into!

[mediaeval-muse]

Video Game Review: Assassin’s Creed Revelations (Ubisoft, 2011)

Genres: action-adventure, third person, open world

Premise: Ezio Auditore travels to Constantinople to unlock the secret of Altaïr's vault in Masyaf, battling Templars who also want the vault’s contents. In the present day, Desmond Miles is trapped in the Animus and must find a "synch nexus", a key memory that links him with Altaïr and Ezio, to reintegrate his splintered subconscious and awaken from his coma.

Platform Played On: PC (Windows)

Rating: 3/5 stars

***Full review under the cut.***

I am evaluating this game based on four key aspects: story, characters, gameplay, and visuals. I will not be evaluating the multiplayer mode because I don’t like playing video games with other people.

Content Warnings: violence, blood

Story: The main premise of Revelations’ story is that, following the end of Brotherhood, Desmond has fallen into a coma. The stress of being controlled by Juno has splintered his subconscious, so in an effort to save his life, Rebecca Crane and a mysterious figure have placed him back in the Animus. In order to repair his mind and escape, Desmond must “play out” the remainder of Ezio’s memories, so he follows his ancestor as he travels to Masyaf in search of Altaïr's vault, which requires five “keys” to open. These keys have been hidden around Constantinople, and Ezio must race against the Templars during the political conflict between Şehzade Ahmet and Selim I.

Desmond’s plot follows a somewhat natural progression. Though I missed his interactions with the Assassin team, it makes sense that his next big adventure would involve being trapped in the Animus and learning more from Subject 16. I liked that gameplay in Ezio’s world unlocked some puzzles in Desmond’s world (even though he’s trapped in the Animus, he inhabits a little island where he can be himself) and that these puzzles told us more about Desmond’s past. I did not think, however, that Desmond’s past was related in a compelling way. Most of it is told to us through Desmond monologuing as the player completes puzzles that are somewhat reminiscent of Portal. I thought Desmond’s past could have been done better, perhaps by having flashback scenes like how Altair’s past is related.

Ezio’s plot felt like it was lacking, and I think the reason is that the past 3 games have focused on finding and controlling the Apple/Piece of Eden, whereas this game is about opening a vault/library.  Ezio’s story also lacks a strong antagonist to tie things together; instead of battling the Borgias, Ezio is competing with general “Templars,” and even though there are some prominent Templar figures, none of them had “stage presence” like Cesare Borgia did. Though I liked the political backdrop, I think Ezio himself was ill-suited for it. It sort of feels like the creators wanted to extend Ezio’s story rather than start something new with a protagonist who was more connected to the setting, and though recovering Altair’s library is a fun goal, I think the story should have revolved around someone who grew up in the region.

I did like that we got to delve a little deeper into Altair’s past and learn more about him. Unless you play the portable Assassin’s Creed games, you don’t get to learn much about what happened to Altair in ACII and Brotherhood, so it was nice to see some exploration of his life in a game that was centered on uncovering his work.

Characters: Ezio, our protagonist and player-controlled character, is a little older in this game, and while he’s still likable, he’s much more serious and down-to-business. I’m a bit torn as to whether his demeanor fits the setting of the game - on the one hand, I loved that the European character wasn’t presented as someone who comes to the Middle East and takes charge. Ezio definitely has much to learn, and his skills are seen as having value without being superior. On the other, I do wish the protagonist had been someone who lived in the area - I got the feeling that Ezio was made the protagonist because of his popularity rather than his suitability for the setting, and while I appreciate that Revelations closed out his arc, I don’t really think it was needed.

The major supporting character in this game is Yusuf Tazim, leader of the Turkish Assassin Order. He shows Ezio around and provides much-needed instructions and lore, and he’s incredibly charismatic and personable. Ezio also encounters historical figures such as Manuel Palaiologos and the future Suleiman the Magnificent, which were fun treats for history enthusiasts, but not extremely commanding personalities. Instead of courtesans appearing throughout the city, there are Romani people seen hanging about, and though I liked that they were included and talked about their oppression, I do think their visual design and function during gameplay were somewhat stereotypical.

Ezio furthermore gets a real love interest in this game in the form of Sofia Sartor, an Italian traveler and book collector who helps him locate the keys. I thought the interactions with her were sweet, but she was a kind of damsel in distress and she didn’t have much personality other than liking books for a large part of the game.

Desmond, for his part, doesn’t get a lot to do, despite this game being about reconstructing his psyche and digging into his past. I liked that we learned more about him, but I do wish the stakes of being trapped in the Animus were higher.

Gameplay: Revelations uses almost all of the same mechanics as Brotherhood. There are armor and weapon upgrades, treasure stashes, upgrades to the city of Constantinople (which stimulates the economy and earns the player more money), etc. Art merchants are replaced with book merchants, so instead of buying paintings, players can purchase codices, but functionally, they were the same. Similarly, instead of freeing areas from Borgia influence, players liberate “Templar dens” and turn them into “Assassin dens,” and while they’re thematically different from the Borgia towers, they’re functionally the same. Players complete assassination missions in which you kill the captain of the guard responsible for overseeing the Templar den, but instead of blowing it up, you trick your enemy by signaling Templar retreat, allowing the Assassins to move in and take over the area. You can also recruit assassins and make use of thieves, mercenaries, and courtesans much the same way as in Brotherhood, though courtesans are replaced by Romani people. There was a moment in Sequence 2 when Ezio had to defend the Assassin safehouse from a Templar attack, and gameplay involved placing barricades, commanders, archers, riflemen, and cannon fire. while balancing morale and damage. I kind of liked the strategy involved and it could have been an interesting mechanic for the rest of the Templar dens/Assassin safehouses, but alas, this moment only occurred the one time unless you’re not paying attention to your infamy meter (which was easy to take care of).

The major weapon upgrade in this game is the introduction of the hook blade and various types of bombs. Bombs ranged from simple noisemakers, to stink bombs, mild explosives, smoke screens, and other useful ranged attacks, while the hook blade enabled faster climbing as well as traveling along zip lines. These weapons were fun, but because so much of the other gameplay was the same as in Brotherhood, they felt like cosmetic patches to an otherwise repetitive gameplay experience.

Visuals: As always, I adored the look of the historical setting. The artists and developers beautifully rendered Constantinople, and I loved seeing more rich colors and details on the buildings and clothing of NPCs than when playing as Altair in the first Assassin’s Creed. I also really loved the look of Ezio’s armor, which forwent the classic white and red palette and opted for a more somber grey. The grey blended with the surroundings a bit better, in my opinion.

What really threw me off was that the facial models for some of the returning characters were altered. Both Ezio’s and Desmond’s face shapes are a little different from how they appear in Brotherhood, and though I do not doubt the change was in service to testing out advancements in graphics, I couldn’t quite shake the uncanny valley vibe.

Animations were up and down; upon starting this game, I encountered a horrible glitch that made the screen flicker and movement impossible, but luckily, I was able to fix it easily using instructions from other players who had the bug. There were some really satisfying combat animations, including finishing moves that upped the level of Ezio’s epic skills, but sometimes they lagged or a bug would make them not connect to an opponent. While not the end of the world, it was noticeable and sometimes took me out of the immersion experience.

Final Verdict: Despite repeating much of the gameplay from Brotherhood and unnecessarily extending Ezio’s story, Revelations presents a beautiful atmosphere and fun adventure to unlock some much-desired background to Altair’s narrative.

[musicreviewweeklynorthkorea]

ALBUM REVIEW: KANYE WEST - “JESUS IS KING”

Alright its Kanye West time again and now he’s gone from Christian to Very Christian, at least for this cycle. I listened to this album earlier today but i’m going to give it another spinnaducchio.  The responses i’ve seen to this album on Twitter today were predictably negative, and brought out the inner “r/atheism” in a lot of people. When this album was announced it made a lot of sense to me. For whatever reason, he made that choice to step into the right wing media sphere, clearly ended up way in over his head, and said fuck it my president is Jesus Christ. Pulling the “Only God can judge me” card is a classic last resort for a dumb pissed off guy losing an argument. So we have this album, which possesses a kitschiness to it that I believe a lot of people will backtrack and acknowledge once the dust from it’s non existent controversy has settled.  The lack of interest and momentum leading up to it’s release is staggering when compared to the releases of basically everything else he’s done this decade. I recall Kanye referring to himself as  “black new wave” artist, and how he once compared the Yeezus-to-TLOP album cycle to Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska-to-Born in the USA album cycle.  He passively mentioned liking Nine Inch Nails on Sway back in the wake of Yeezus.  Point being Kanye has both consciously and subconsciously used the rock canon as a parallel to his own sound throughout his career, more frequently and meticulously than any other rapper (maybe Danny Brown?). So with that said, “Jesus Is King” can be placed on the classic rock gradient nearest to “80′s Bob Dylan”.  The same way plenty of 30 year old boomers wear themselves out with noise, industrial, avant whatever and accept their old age with vaporwave, lo fi beats to study and relax to, and Steely Dan, Kanye has also done with his own palette of easy listening, electronica, and gospel.

EVERY HOUR _  I mean, this is just chopped up gospel chords, i could probably listen to this on loop all day. I have nothing negative to say about it. Most of these songs have that rushed, half finished quality of his recent music, more so than “ye”, and that will be a bigger factor in people disliking this thing than the religious stuff or bad lyrics or whatever.

Selah - Lots of references to the Bible, don’t really know any of them. Let’s listen on. hmmmmm.  whatever

FOLLOW GOD - RZA type beat, there was 1 real stinker lyric on here but i already forgot it. this songs basically about talking to your dad on the phone.

CLOSED ON SUNDAY - “You my Chic-fil-A/you my number 1 with lemonade” man, that sucks. Also this song has some very beleaguered lyrics warning people to stay away from his family which offers an incline into whatever insane shit Kim and Kanye have going on in their lives. It’s a recurring thing, celebrities going religious or pivoting to the right politically after coming in close contact with the boundless depravities of the upper classes. Maybe hes just a rich mentally ill guy losing sleep over his massive debts. Little bit of both probably. The beat is moody, mostly drumless and sound like it was made with a Trans Siberian Orchestra beat pack. I’d skip this one.

ON GOD - The P’ierre Bourne beat is great, but Kanye’s mad at the IRS because he’s a fox news grandpa. Lil Uzi Vert belongs here instead

EVERYTHING WE NEED feat TY DOLLA $IGN & ANT CLEMMONS - Basically a snippet of a song on repeat. Sounds like it was picked off the cutting room floor of any sessions between TLOP and now, without any further work done to it. But its pleasant and hypnotic. The more intricate, thought out moments of the album have been the worst so far.  Low stakes moments like this give the project the charm of a beat tape. 

WATER feat. Ant Clemmons - I love that damn bass.  All the production here actually. Everything actually clicks on this song, sonically, thematically. I predict there will be a 10 hour version of this on Youtube soon enough. Highlight of the album. 

GOD IS - This is the closest thing to an actual contemporary gospel song. Kanye’s singing is strained and the lyrics are abou a certain little ol’ desert carpenter who had his own share of critics for saying weird stuff. Makes you think.

HANDS ON - Methinks someone doth listenedth too “Age Of” by Oneohtrix Point Never. Compositionally it reminds me of The Station. The minimal electric blue of JIK’s coverless vinyl and tracklisting both look like something out of the Daniel Lopatin School of Repurposing Old Uncool Shit into New Cool Shit. What little album art exists evokes a hazy nostalgia of daytime cable televangelist programming. 

USE THIS GOSPEL feat Clipse & Kenny G - uh everything i just wrote for the last song just read it again. Same idea. 

JESUS IS LORD - Very abrupt ending ok. And a prettier moment of the album, with bright horns that recall The Social Experiment. The melody barely resolves before the 49 seconds are up. It feels like a “fuck you”, a pouty “if you all hate me so much then this is all i’ll let you see of my musical genius!”, which is honestly the best way this album could end. Kanye’s pettiness, his ego, his bitterness being the very last note he leaves you with on an album about being a follower of Jesus lol. 

There’s a pretty clean split between the front and back half of this album. The front is bad and the back is good. People hit middle age, realize that they’re not cool anymore and get really into God or model trains or whatever so this album is for them. 

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Sebastian

Our next aro-spec creator is Sebastian, better known on Tumblr as @gloriousmonsters and @mangledmouth!

Sebastian is a bisexual, autistic, aromantic trans man who is single-handedly covering many literary bases in producing original aro and queer short stories, novels and poetry. Aside from his Tumblr blogs, you can find and support more of his work at his Patreon. If you have a dollar or two you’re wanting to invest in worthy aro-spec talent on a less-regular basis, please take a look at Sebastian’s Ko-Fi!

With us Sebastian talks about identifying with the role of villainy in narrative as an aro creative, aromantic characters and grand emotional gesture, the divide between representation and self-expression, and some spectacular-sounding work-in-progress book titles! His investment in aromantic characters and characterisation shapes every word, so please let’s give him all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

It took me a while to realize I was aromantic, but it was one of the things that made me go ‘oh, that makes … a lot of sense’ when I looked back at my childhood. I was a weird, isolated kid, so I didn’t learn from bouncing off other children; I learned through stories.

One of my strongest early memories is of watching a poorly made Red Riding Hood film over and over again, belting out the lyrics to the (poorly written) villain’s song, called ‘Man Without A Heart’. Cut to a year or so later, watching the Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella (still the best Cinderella, IMO), I was utterly fascinated by the villainess singing: ‘Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe…’

I didn’t know, that early, that I didn’t feel romantic love. Not consciously. But there was something utterly, obsessively interesting about villains that sneered at love, who were called heartless, who challenged the narrative that there must always be a love story and it must come out right no matter what. I felt, on a deep level, that these people were like me somehow. The additional queercoding and common side-helping of mental illness helped - or didn’t help, depending on your perspective. I grew up knowing, deep down, what my part in life was: I was the villain.

When I hit my rebellious age, it first came out by my saying, ‘But being a villain doesn’t mean you have to be wrong or unhappy’. I began collecting villains like nobody’s business, and writing stories that more and more often centered people whose character types I’d only ever seen as villains. And from there we arrive at today!

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Recently, my brother (who is my sounding board for a lot of stories, as I am for him) looked at my books-to-write list and said, ‘Nearly every idea you have is a deconstructed romance or strong non-romantic relationship.’

I love strong relationships, so I originally thought I needed to write people as love interests to get that; these days I feel more free to focus on whatever the heck I want, and being aro shows in everything. My current WIP centers a poly relationship where two of the partners are aromantic. Two people (often, but not always, a man and a woman due to my frustration with the ‘men and women can’t be friends’ thing) who are the most important people in each others’ lives and are platonic, show up over and over again in my novel ideas; I start with relationships that look like romances and then pull them apart. Part of this, I think, is due to my autistic ‘let’s take this into component parts and see how it works’ tendencies; being autistic and being aro aren’t cause and effect, for me, but they play well together.

When I write poetry, some of it deals explicitly with being aromantic, but all of it is non-romantic. It makes me kind of anxious sometimes to think of people interpreting pieces as being romo because they’re about intense emotions; one of the biggest ways being aro is expressed in my writing is my constant attempts to show other feelings, connections and relationships than romance being worthy of big feelings and gestures. I’ll sometimes refer to myself as ‘aromantic but capital-R Romantic’ (i.e.  extremely dramatic) because of that.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

I’m sure I’ll run into more problems as I try to take my increasingly aro and queer and ND works to professional markets, but at the moment my biggest problem is self-censoring. I sit at an awkward junction of having multiple identities I want to include in my work, and being … well, someone who grew up obsessed with villains, who later on developed a decade’s interest in slasher horror, and who still tends to write people who are perceived as, or see themselves as, villains. Awkward because I always have that voice in my head (helped along by some of the stuff I see on social media) going ‘that’s not good rep! nobody will want to read this!’

But I know from experience that not writing from the heart (and look at that, I do have one after all!) doesn’t end well, so I’m working on getting good at writing my weird dark stuff and hoping I’ll find the audience for it. And I always leave a little bit of light in it, because I have another voice in my head, still saying, ‘just because you’re a villain doesn’t mean you can’t be happy’.

It’s a weird sort of positivity, but it works for me.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

Following and submitting to this blog is part of my first attempts to actually join the aro-spec community. I tend to move slowly and be very nervous of talking to new people, but I’ve been trying to be more affirming of my aromantic identity lately, and seeking out other aros is part of that. Hopefully I’ll settle in a little more as time passes.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

At the moment, people following and reblogging from my poetry blog @mangledmouth would be much appreciated. It’s hard to get traction with poetry (especially if you don’t write romantic poetry) and I’d love more people to see my work. I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve done, so check it out! Be warned that my love for horror and oddness turns up there as well, but there’s nothing too graphic.

And Ko-Fi donations or small Patreon subscriptions are always appreciated.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

My current WIP (titled either The Night In Wanting or And One of Us Be Happy, depending on whether I go for the one that sounds better or the one that fits best thematically) is about a third done! Praise me, because I’m really bad at finishing things, but I’m still on track to wrap this up at the end of June. It’s about a Weird Small Town and Sarah, a girl with a reputation for breaking hearts, who decides to date one of her best friends and actually try to make it work. Her attempts at being normal quickly get derailed when their town’s general weirdness turns hostile - attacks by creatures from the woods, unsettling amounts of rain, pictures changing when you’re not looking at them and a really pushy forest spirit trying to bargain with people for a heart. Her attempts at normal are further derailed when she figures out that her new boyfriend is also in love with a mutual friend, and that she might not feel love at all.

I love these characters, guys. This story is finally coming together after years and the three main characters - Sarah, Mags and Fred - have always been at the heart of it, no matter what shape it took. (Mags used to be a ghost, and the story went through a phase of being a Band AU of itself. Fred kept getting possessed, and there’s a joke about that in the text now that nobody will get but me. And now you guys!) It’s terrifying to write a YA that’s not only poly, but focuses on an aromantic main character, but I’m determined to make it work.

(This is is one of the most sweet/normal things I’ve worked on, despite the healthy dose of horror. I’ve also been writing snippets of a pet project called How The Child-Eater Became King, to give you an idea of the other end of the spectrum.)

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

I haven’t got the release date for it yet (it’ll probably be a while yet) but I recently sold a short story, Sabuyashi Flies, to Glittership. The main character, Sabuyashi, was originally aroace but turned out to be a lesbian ace during writing. (Characters often decide to come out while I’m writing, which is always fun to handle. I mean that both sarcastically and genuinely.) I’m already working on and off on the sequel story where she meets her future best friend Nathaniel, who is aro. Working title is Nat Luckless and the Girl Made of Beetles. Look for news about Sabuyashi Flies soonish and Nat Luckless whenever my slow butt manages to finish and (fingers crossed) sell it!

[rottenappleheart]

okay OKAY i really love your moby dick posts and i want to try reading it again (after giving up in frustration a couple years ago), do you have any tips on reading it? most people i've asked either just say "it's not worth your time" or "it's a slog but worth the effort" and i don't know how to reconcile the two.

Hm. You’re in luck (well, maybe), anon! I think about this a lot.

Short version: It is a LOT OF BOOK. And life is short. For a lot of people, perhaps yourself, it’s not worth the effort. That is A-OK! There are so many other books out there that you will enjoy and find meaningful! And even if you did make the tremendous effort to finish reading Moby Dick, you might not think it was worthwhile after the fact. That is A-OK too!

I realize I don’t sound like I’m selling this book yet. So be it. The worst thing I can imagine is someone reading a book because they felt like they had to, and that if they didn’t enjoy it, the problem is with THEM, not with the book. So first most important to me is to let you off the (fish)hook.

Now.

 It is my strongly held belief that Moby Dick is only partly a book. Only partly words on paper. Only partly a story. What it is, in full, is an experience created in collaboration between long-dead Herman Melville and you, the reader. It hovers in the air between your eyes and the page. You end up doing a lot of the “work” of telling the story, and connecting your own dots. By its nature, every experience of Moby Dick is different. 

I read Moby Dick because of this post on The Toast about reading it as an angry gay young woman. The author of that post had a striking experience with the novel that I wanted to share. 

However, when I read it – also a young woman, also angry, sometimes gay – I found a completely different story happening between the lines. The book is indeed angry and indeed very gay, but that’s not what got me right in the gut. I read it as a story of PTSD – not just Ahab’s, which is plain, but Ishmael’s, which is subtle and pervades the entire story, since he is looking back on and telling the account of what happens to him at the very, very bitter end. 

Ishmael experiences something over the course of this adventure that has fundamentally altered who he is. There is a separation between the Ishmael you meet as a character at the start of the book (young, angry, gay) and the Ishmael who is narrating, telling you about that past self and the journey he went on. You get glimpses of the Ishmael-behind-the-curtain in bits and pieces of narration here and there. What we know is that the story of the white whale has consumed him the way that the hunt for the white whale consumed Ahab. Ishmael-the-narrator, Ishmael-the-survivor, has become an expert on whales, on shipwrecks, on the tragedy and wonder of it all. He has whalebones tattooed over top of his own. He spends millions of words trying to convey those three years of his life to the listener (the reader) in every possible detail as though if he could only get it right, get every possible detail, it will finally make sense to him and he can be at peace. But it’s not possible. You can’t undo what has happened.

That was how I read it, as someone who also lives and relives the same horrible moments, trying to make sense of them.

My friend read it after me, having heard my version of events, and so she went in with an eye to mental illness – but the story she read was about the failures of society and religion to address and accommodate its more broken members. 

Other people read it as a story about God or the devil, or about Melville’s love for Hawthorne, or, or, or.

Do you see what I’m saying here, anon? Everyone comes to the book differently. Some people create a story from the words that, for them, is worth the effort. Some people don’t end up having their own mirrored lives float up at them in that space between the page and their eyes. That doesn’t mean the book was bad or that they didn’t understand it. 

I can’t tell you whether it’s worth reading. It was to me. It might not be to you. If your life seems too short to waste so many weeks of it on a single book, then set yourself free! If you are maddened by curiosity, dive in!

Here is my best pro-tip for reading it overall: Keep an eye on the narrator. He has a good sense of humor, unlike many other books of the time. It shifts between straight storytelling, to dictionary, to script, and back again, and the way that I read the book I imagined Ishmael telling it out loud in a tavern, drawing diagrams on the table, drunkenly insisting NO THIS IS IMPORTANT, LET ME EXPLAIN U A THING ABOUT WHALES and going on and on and on in excruciating detail until people yell at him to get back to the plot, at which point he jumps up on the table and does part of it as a one-man play. That mental image made the “long sections” of the book easier to read as an exasperating but still funny part of the whole, rather than a boring interruption.

I hope all these thoughts are helpful to you in one way or another!

ETA: I haven’t seen any of the miniseries or movies of it, more’s the pity, so I can’t recommend a favorite screen version to you. (I think there’s an all-female anime version???) Otherwise, here is a list of other things that I have loved which are related to Moby Dick (either directly or thematically) which are not so hard to read: The Whale: A Love Story, Jamrach’s Menagerie, Ahab’s Wife, H Is For Hawk, Cold Mountain

[yourflixfix]

By the Streets of Ongpin and Misericordia

Lino Brocka directed a 1975 film entitled Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag which progressed and followed a straightforward storyline making it easy for the audience to grasp the story itself. Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag is about a poor fisherman in Marinduque named Julio Madiaga (played by Bembol Roco), on the hunt for his missing lover, Ligaya Paraiso (played by Hilda Koronel) in the streets of Manila, as she was given false promises and believed to be exploited as a sex worker there. He was robbed, not long after arriving, of the little cash that he had at the time which forced him to work in a construction site to afford his day-to-day necessities in life but suffers the poor working conditions he has, making just a two-and-a-half pesos a day instead of the actual salary of four pesos. Faced with no luck, Julio Madiaga finds himself working as a prostitute on the underground gay scene of Manila, soon after. And from then on, the film carries a very simple plot. To a viewer, this may seem too simple but when one tries to look at it in a different manner, the film’s substance is oozing with greatness and suggests otherwise.

The same way films are mostly set in the capital, Manila in Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag is more than just a setting. One thing to take note is the number of scenes where the streets of Chinatown are greatly seen in the film. It is known to be the place where migrants were placed during the Spanish colonization and after so, settled and housed many Chinese businesses but deep in the film, we will be able to point out that it is also a site for prostitution. The idea of consumerism was brought about by the foreign businesses settling in the Philippines. Labor and consumerism were at its peak in the ’70s. Many people were enticed to go to Manila and were blinded by its urbanization at the time. Going to Manila somewhat resonates with the American Dream. The same force drives them to leave everything behind and work away from their families because it is believed that that way, they can work better jobs and hence, earn more to eventually be able to provide for the people they left at home. 

In reference to the high poverty rate at that time, “ang bagong lipunan” was the phrase mentioned over and over again and was promised by that time’s president, Ferdinand Marcos in his speech with Imelda Marcos. This phrase is something the Filipinos held on to which gave the people an enticing vision of the perfect Philippines but what many were not ready for is a leap to the unpredictable. Marcos had vowed to utilize his power to elevate the "least fortunate of the working individuals," yet the Filipino underclass just became more unfortunate and more unsettled during his reign. Starting right away projects leaning more towards constructing infrastructures resulting in a huge chunk of the country’s expenditures. Much of which amassed in billions of debt. The promise for a new and improved society birthed a bigger problem; the nation’s blindness to its really poor state. The Marcos regime prioritized beautifying the city without taking the more alarming problems concerning the economy of the Philippines. The reality of poverty in the Philippines was neglected. And this for me played a big role in Lino Brocka’s masterpiece Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag because he found a way to depict that time’s reality with firm conviction. As a matter of fact, he hired non-actors as extras and chose to shoot in a real slums area. This is what Lino Brocka chose to shine the light on; ang bagong lipunan. The promised new and improved society cannot ever sum up to the reality the nation faced, and are still facing up until now. Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag served as a true-to-life but in a schematic way told the story of Manila under Ferdinand Marcos’ regime and the monstrosity it had resulted to. The aforementioned issues in the society in the film are present in today’s time as well.

Lino Brocka embedded the political cataclysms of the Philippines especially ones concerning those in the lower part of the society. This was shown for a few frames and scenes in a literal sense. The totality of the Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag however, showed it in a figurative sense using the characters as symbols for a more not-in-your-face message. This served as an element of subjectivity for the one viewing it to try and depict the message of the film away from the context of just two ill-fated lovers in Manila. 

With that being said, from the way I see it, the mass’ poverty causes exploitation in a way that they do it not because they want it but because that is the only way they can earn money right there and then which they need right away because they are poor. Given the fact that education plays a big role in landing a “moral” job which the unfortunate ones cannot afford. All things considered, the referential, explicit, implicit, and symptomatic meaning for me is the same – poverty causing exploitation.

The realism of Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag is phenomenal, that I can say because from then on, the same issues concerning society and politics are seen. On the other hand, Lino Brocka using a thematic approach to doing this film is notable. The way he presented moral dilemmas contributed to the level of a viewer’s enticement to drop everything and watch the whole film and finish it in one sitting. It actually created a dramatic tension for the reason that it provided crucial moments in which characters are bound to make choices that will either make or break them. The film’s form as a whole was a simple and coherent one but like what I have said, its simplicity was what benefitted the film itself because it is easy to understand. In this manner, making it easy for the audience to view it in a different lens, as well. In the first few scenes, the film created an idea that intrigued me as an audience. “Why is he staring at a window?” And this for me, is an indication that this film had a sense of complexity. It contained a lot of foreshadowing which created a riveting feeling for me, making me want to finish the film right away and understand why.

Watching Maynila: Sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag made me want to appreciate old films by renowned Filipino directors. I never expected to enjoy it, actually but I surely did. This made me realize the good films I missed years behind my birth, and it is a shame! 

[izzyovercoffee]

RepComm for the fandom meme

send me a fandom and I’ll — meme

softly, with a lot of feeling: I’ve been waiting for this moment.

lmaoo not really but yes, yes really. I am here and I am ready for this. 

Thank you for sending this B’)

Republic Commando

the character i least understand

Karen “What Is Abuse I Don’t Know Her″ Traviss

Ko Sai. I think, for the most part, she was written with very alien motivations, and it was fairly successful, at least in conveying that it was difficult if not impossible to relate with her on any level. 

I’m sure if I spent more time thinking and writing about her I could maybe attempt to understand her character … but for the most part I don’t really “get” her, and I think that’s the point.

interactions i enjoyed the most

Mereel and Ordo are endlessly entertaining. 

Any of the Nulls together, individually or clusters or all six in one room.

Mereel and Etain have had some very, very touching, emotionally deep moments — the kinds of scenes KT generally doesn’t allow any of her characters to have between two characters that aren’t romantically involved.

tbh this list is gonna be very long so to sum up: everyone with everyone else, when they’re allowed to be individual characters with separate personalities and motivations recognized, instead of twisted into very specific moral representations that KT pushes towards the end.

the character who scares me the most

Walon Vau is reasonably frightening, though really he should be. He is about as cold blooded of a killer as you’re going to get, and he doesn’t make threats, he makes promises. B’) 

Plus he’s also very difficult to get into the mental space to write, because he’s a legitimate Bad Person, and trying to write characters like him can be difficult.

it’s also a good idea to maintain a healthy fear of the nulls, if only out of respect of their potential for sudden and extreme violence. They’re not as “unpredictable” as the text says, though.

the character who is mostly like me

mmm … actually, I’m gonna go with Kal. this is probably gonna garner some “whaaat? but you HATE him?” 

Yes, I do hate him. but let me list some similarities lmao:

perpetual limp due to a bad ankle and persistent injury that never healed right / properly (partially kept as a constant reminder for a mistake)

short and angry, like all the time

compartmentalize everything and everyone

obsessive about caring for and protecting family, literally does everything for family

extremely secretive, to the point of never telling anyone the full story or full truth, everyone just get bits and pieces that seem complete. no one ever seems to realize this.

self sacrificing to the point of martyrdom, especially for family

these are all pretty negative, but … unlike Kal, I am actually self aware lmao and am working on these things, and have for the most part listened when other people criticize me so that I can continue to work on being better. it’s a daily process, you know, so I don’t hurt the family I care so much about.

Kal starts off terrible, and the writing implies that he might learn from it … but then instead of him learning and growing like everyone needs him to, the narrative instead makes excuses for him, everyone suffers, and Etain dies.

it’s unfortunate bc people like him exist, and you can’t coddle them if you want them to survive life. and yet everyone coddles Kal. Fandom, in general, coddles and makes excuses for abusive men. Full stop.

but like, here’s the thing:

He is a grown man. He is not a child. Don’t treat him like one.

I hate him partially bc the entire fandom excuses his behavior when it is, ultimately, inexcusable. He is not a child. He is a man, who has undertaken a huge group of extremely vulnerable people under his care, and he ultimately hurts them all. Severely. And TBH Kal deserves better than to be coddled and all his boo-boos kissed away by a fandom who says they care about the rest of the clan, but cannot see the sheer world-shattering damage Kal committed on them, regardless of intention. 

You can like a character, and still hold them accountable. Fandom, somehow, seems incapable of this level of nuance, especially if they’re a father and shown as sympathetic in any way.

hottest looks character

Mereel, obviously. lmao

No but like, consider: he dyes his hair (and his skin, and his eyes) and has a full wardrobe for all situations. 

He’s the (Daniel Craig) James Bond of the Grand Army of the Republic.

But I also headcanon Jilka and Besany to be incredibly fashion forward. Besany usually embodying the Career Professional woman, with very sharp, very perfectly tailored outfits that allow no room for nonsense.

Jilka also perfectly tailored, though her wardrobe is potentially more fun, visually, and incredibly flattering in all the right ways — but still very sharp, and very much professional when necessary.

one thing i dislike about my fave character

Mereel, light of my life, sun of my sky, salve of my wounded and broken heart, peace at the eye of my storm …

why are you like this?

lmao. On a more serious note, I can’t outright say I dislike anything about Mereel, but his inability to share what really goes on in his head with … well, anyone. The only time we see a truthful admittance to weakness is that single moment with Etain, when he admits that he’s still human. That he’s not perfect.

Every other time, and I know I say this a lot, but every other time … he deflects any serious conversation with a joke — and usually a joke that the speaker wants to hear (even if they don’t know they want to hear it). He doesn’t let anyone in, not even his brothers, and that’s … got to be a lonely sort of suffering. 

The kind of internalized suffering I’m sure he’s learned from Kal, both in the how to do it, and the reason he does it. bc Kal does internalize a lot of his suffering and doesn’t share it, burying weakness while in the same breath saying that he’s experiencing it and letting it go. He doesn’t, it’s just a different sort of self-delusion and deflection, and Mereel echoes it to a painful degree.

And then, of course, there’s Mereel learning that he needs to do it, bc Kal only accepts a certain kind of visual presence of mental illness and suffering, otherwise the person is “damaged” in some way and will never be “okay” for whatever understanding Kal has given okay. (view, for example, how he sees Ordo vs how he sees Mereel. He sees Mereel as stable, bc Mereel is extroverted, outgoing, and “always positive.” It’s not something intentional, but it’s still damaging, to all parties.)

one thing i like about my hated character

I might hate Kal Skirata, but I also love him. He’s a fantastic character. He is so so so flawed. His flaws make him interesting, and he tries. He tries so hard. He cares so much. He cares too much, even. His dedication and his love for his family are all encompassing, to the point that he can even be blinded to their faults because he loves so strongly.

But that love is a sword. One might even say it’s a triple-edged blade.

Love, as bright and fierce and consuming as it is, does not make someone right. It does not make their actions excusable when it leads to hurt, or even someone dying needlessly. It does not make one’s choices correct.

Love does not excuse abuse. And I really wish fandom would, at the very least, make the attempt to understand that.

a quote or scene that haunts me

Yes, I know how the Kaminoans did it. They used our genes against us, the ones that make us bond with our brothers, make us loyal, make us respect and obey our fathers—that’s what they manipulated to make us more likely to obey orders. They had to remove what made Jango a selfish loner, because that makes a bad infantry soldier, and you can tell from the Alpha ARCs that the Kaminoans weren’t wrong. But there’s one thing I don’t know yet—and that’s how they controlled the aging process. That’s the key. They robbed us of a full life span. But we will not be defeated by time, ner vod.

—ARC Trooper Lieutenant N-7—Mereel—in an encrypted transmission to Captain N-11, Ordo

a death that left me indifferent

mmm, Sev, actually. Like, in the game? I went through the whole grieving process after I finished Republic Commando. 

The way it was written? idk. It did nothing for me.

This probably is an unpopular opinion lmao but honestly, that scene? did not hit me anywhere. it just kinda left a bad taste in my mouth … much like Etain’s scene, except that I was actually pissed off about Etain lmao to the point that I still rant about it bc of how little sense it made.

a character i wish died but didn’t

I mean I could go the obvious route and say Kal, but I actually don’t wish Kal died. I just wish he’d learn from his mistakes and people would point out how he’s hurting his family lmao?

who do I actually wish died? any of the nulls, even if they don’t die die. They’re presented as these entirely Untouchable cast, to the point that no one really expect any of the Nulls to so much as get a paper cut — because how can they? they’re presented as close to perfect (obviously not in the mental illness department, but they do inhabit this space of being invincible).

and for any of them, even temporarily, to die would have had incredible emotional impact — moreso than Etain’s. It would’ve really brought home the threat on all their lives in a way that Etain’s death could never convey. 

but I’m asking nuance of a writer who clearly overwhelmed herself with a cast much larger than she could handle in writing, and who started all these incredible thematic arcs only to abandon them, forgotten, over the course of the series.

my ship that never sailed

I have a lot of ships, tbh, but it’s kinda like … weird? to talk about? as if I expected them to sail and then they just simply didn’t. 

I don’t have any ships that I expected to happen or be recognized and simply didn’t. I mean … Fi read as if closeted, so I was kind of hoping he would maybe realize he was attracted to men, but then of course he was paired off with his caretaker, and my god there are so many consent problems with that.