#it made my aunt and k cry so it was good
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thewingedwolf · 1 year ago
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watched the new little mermaid and it’s cute, better than most of the other disney remakes except maleficent and the jungle book (like cinderella tier). the singing and acting is really good and transplanting it into the caribbean was done really well!! the outfits were really good, the cgi on ursula was damn amazing and part of your world was great as well. the added relationship between eric and his mother, and the kind of subtextual double meaning when eric, the white adopted son of a black caribbean islander, admits that the two worlds can’t ever meet, was kind of interesting, and there was something fun there about like, these two very similar multiracial societies who fear each other being lead by parents terrified that what befell their child’s parent will befall their child. also, while i still high key judge taking all the queerness out of the story (oh but making ursula a drag queen would have been homophobic, okay, so give ariel two dads then? there was a way to honor divine and howard without just excising them from the narrative!), but melissa mccarthy was damn funny and the vanessa actress was amazing, when she gets found out and she starts screaming with melissa’s voice? that’s cinema ❗️
but it made what sucked kinda stand out lol. the cgi on the fish and mermaids was distractingly bad, like “chris evans’ face on skinny steve’s body” kind of bad. the scuttlebutt song and the arrangement on kiss the girl was soooooo bad someone needs to tell lin manuel his head has gotten too big and he needs to actually try instead of just slapping random sounds together (encanto was so good!! why did this one sound so bad!!). and i am once again begging people to use light in their damn movies!! very frustrating that a studio that once would just invent new programs to do cgi and animation they had envisioned now just kind of half asses cgi like this…disappointing.
the only quibble story wise was that there was this kind of hanging thread of ursula being triton’s sister and eric’s mother fearing the sea gods, that are kind of dropped. like, javier bardem and Noma Dumezweni were kinda wasted emotionally. wanted the last scene where all the mermaids and people are at the shore watching ariel and eric leave to hit a little harder emotionally, and look a little cooler.
also, for all that i love eric bc he’s the only disney prince with a kill count, loved that they gave the kill shot to ariel lmao that’s my girl
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bugsmunched · 1 year ago
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💔And I'm so sorry that I failed you || Peter parker X DEAD ! GN! Reader
Summary: Peter visits Y/N's gravesite and tells them everything that they've missed since they've been gone. 
Contents: dead reader, mentions of death, Peter couldn't save reader, hurt/no comfort, angst
Word Count: 1.1 k
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It was a perfectly gloomy day, clouds looming over New York City, the occasional drizzle falling down onto the people of the bustling city. Peter sighed, head pressed against the glass of the car window, flowers clutched in his hands resting in his lap. They were Y/n's favorite flowers, and he took them every time he visited them. Most of his visits were short, as he couldn't bring himself to stay there for more than a few minutes at a time, but today was different. Today was the one-year anniversary of their death, and Peter thought that deserved to know everything that they had missed since being gone. 
He blamed himself for their death. It had been during the fight with Harry Osborn, they had fallen off the clock tower and he tried to save them, but they were falling too fast and their spine and neck snapped as they were caught by the web. There was no way he could've saved them, but he always blamed himself for their death. The truth was, he was in love with them, but he never got the chance to say it, they died before he was brave enough to say three simple words. He hated himself for being such a coward. 
He was broken out of his thoughts as May placed a hand on his shoulder, "We're here, sweetheart. Remember, we'll stay as long as you need to, okay?" she said softly, rubbing his shoulder as he sat up straight, hands shaking a little bit. "Want me to stay in here so you can talk to them in private?" 
"Please." Peter said softly, looking at his aunt with a broken smile. He opened the car door and stepped out, the cold air hitting his face. He started to walk over to their grave, hands shaking more as he felt his heart rate accelerate. He could feel tears forming already in his eyes, just at the idea of seeing their grave. He had never made it more than three minutes without bursting into tears, and today every single emotion of his was heightened. 
He finally arrived at their grave and sighed, leaning down and placing the flowers on their tombstone. "Hey, Y/n, how've you been?" he asked, a broken smile forming on his face. "I know, it's been a few weeks since we've seen each other, I've been busy, doing Spider-Man stuff...saving the city. " His words were shaky and his breathing was uneven. " I've also been avoiding you, I know, how cruel of me. " he said with a broken laugh. 
"It just hurts to not hear your voice anymore, to not be able to see your smile or hold you in my arms. I've managed to last a whole year so far, but god, it's been so hard." He said as tears fell free, streaming down his face. "Look at me, I'm already crying like a baby." he attempted to joke, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. "Must be record timing. Haven't even been here a minute." He said softly, sniffling and trying to stifle his sobs. 
"Anyway, I know i don't normally stay here that long, but since it's been a year, I thought you should know everything that you've missed since you...passed. " he muttered, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a list. 
"May is going to nursing school again, she's passing all of her classes. I'm so proud of her for pursuing her dreams. She's close to graduating." He said, a tear falling down onto the paper and smudging some of the words. 
"Gwen got into Oxford, she's been doing really good there. She's gonna come and visit you sometime soon, a special trip just to see you. Isn't that great?" He asked, wiping his tears and snot from his face once again. 
"I still haven't picked out a college yet- I know, how stupid of me. I have so much potential and I shouldn't waste it. it's just hard to think about leaving you behind. " He choked out, the paper in his hands quivering because his hands were shaking so badly. 
"That deli you really liked- it has a sandwich named after you, it's your favorite sandwich to order from that place. Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that he misses your smile, and your tips. " He said with a broken laugh. "He thought you'd laugh at that. "
" I tried getting a tattoo in your honor, found out that my skin heals too fast to get one. It was gone in a few days, unfortunately. So I just wear a necklace with your picture instead. It's cheesy, you'd hate it. " He smiled softly, biting back more sobs. He folded the paper back up, stuffing it into his pocket as the trickle of tears turned into a downpour, sobs escaping his mouth. 
"I miss you. Every day I miss you. Every day I look in the mirror and ask, 'why couldn't I save them?' Every day I regret telling you that I'm Spider-Man. Every single damn day I regret becoming Spider-Man. The mask is a painful reminder that no matter how many people I save, I can never make up for who I lost. But I can't stop saving people. It's just not in my nature." He muttered out, falling down to his knees in front of the grave. 
" But I would give it all away, just to be able to see you one last time, to be able to hold you in my arms and feel you against me, one last time. To be able to crack a joke and hear you laugh and see you smile one last time. To be able to hear your voice, one last time. I would give up everything I have to be able to see you again. To be able to say a proper good-bye. " he sobbed out, just letting it all out. 
"I don't deserve to wear the mask. I'm just a coward hiding under the guise of someone strong. Hiding beneath the powers, but they don't make me brave. I couldn't even tell you three simple words. I couldn't tell you how I felt about you. " He closed his eyes tightly, feeling small drops of rain begin to fall from the sky onto his hands and face. 
"Every day I'm plagued by words I couldn't say. But I think it's finally time I say them. Y/n L/n, I love you. I always have, and I'm so sorry that I failed you." 
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yesyourstalker · 1 year ago
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Neta:.....................
Ikkan: you want me to ring the doorbell?
Neta:....uhh.... No... You know what let's go home. This was a mistake..... I can't do this...
Ikkan: Neta!
Neta: Ok! Ok...*sigh*........... Just give me a second...... I need to psych myself up ........ Mk........ Alright.... I'm ready.... Ok let's-.......... Uh
Kat: [hug]................ I have a camera doorbell you don't need to ring it sweetie.....
Neta:...........Hi Aunt K.....*sniff*..... It's been a while
_______________________________________________
Kat: oh!! Neta! It's been years!!! look at you!!!.... You finally cut your tentacles! You're actually wearing sensible clothes..... Uh your glasses!! You know how many times I told you to start wearing your glasses and you never listen to me what made you change your mind
Neta: words just started to get a little bit blurry especially the nutrition labels I don't understand why they make them so small. I can't even see the sugar-
Kat: what is that on your neck?
Neta:...... It's a tattoo......Not this again
Katie: what in the world? What is it supposed to be? Tentacles?
Neta: it's a kraken.......... Hold up... Ugh................... Mmmm........... See it's a kraken attacking a ship... It's old school style.... It's like what pirates used to have. I think it's cool.
Kat: ugh... Put your shirt on. I don't want to look at it............ Hm... Did you gain wait sweetie?.. [squeeze]
Neta: ..... K!!
Kat: it's good. You look good... You are very underweight that's why you're hypoglycemic now...... Why do you still have that belly button ring? How many piercings do you have at this point?
Neta: 10
Kat: I'm counting nine. Where's the tenth one?
Neta:...................
Kat:....... Neta....
Neta: what!? It's my body!!
Kat: I just-I can't..ok...* Inhale** exhale*. Just like your mother......*sigh*........sit down. Make yourself comfortable. You want something to drink? What about you honey? You haven't said anything since you got here. I have tea,coffee, I think I have some soda.
Ikkan: no..... I'm fine ... Thank you
Kat: awww.... Such a sweet boy....... Well I'm going get me something out of the fridge? Beer as usual?
Neta: yep just the usual
Kat: ok
Ikkan: ........ She seems nice
Neta: yeah..... Sometimes hehe
Ikkan:.....hmm.......you used to live here?
Neta: yeah...... I wouldn't say live maybe stay. I used to stay here sometimes......used to sleep in the guest bedroom...........It slowly turned into my bedroom. Posters....... different bed sheets......a hole in the wall
Ikkan: you punch the hole in the wall?
Neta: shhhh shhhh she doesn't know I put a poster over.......
Kat: I'm back. You get one beer and only one do you hear me?
Neta: yeah yeah........
_______________________________________________
Kat: .................. It's been a long time
Neta:............ Yeah....................... What are you staring at?
Kat: you just........... Look different.......
Neta: It's the mustache. I think I might grow it back
Kat: No not that it's you look........... Softer
Neta: you already called me fat
Kat: I didn't call you fat! The word fat did not leave my mouth........ You always do this. You always try to start arguments.....*sigh* what I'm trying to say.......... you don't look as mad as you used to.......... Especially looking at your eyes..........much kinder than I used to be. What changed?
Neta: having a daughter.....
Kat:..........oh........ cirrina...... Hehehehe... That makes sense..... That'll do it
Neta:...............K?
Kat:.... Yes?
Neta: I don't hate you...... I'm really sorry I said that to you.......*voice crack*.... You were right.... ...... You write about everything....... I just didn't want to hear it......*sniff*....... You're right, I was just a child. It was a stupid angry child....*crying*.....I didn't know what I was doing.... I'm so sorry Aunt K ....... I I I...*sobbing
Kat: baby come here....come to auntie K.....hehehehe...*sigh*................... It's ok baby.....
Neta: but it's not okay!... I've said so many shitty things to you. Every time you try to help me and protect me, I'd always have to defy you and argue with you....... I was awful......* sobbing*.... You care about me even when I didn't care about myself....how are you not mad at me?
Kat: I couldn't be mad at you baby. I could never be mad at you. Every time you yelled, every time you fought, every profanity you threw at me. I wasn't angry...... I couldn't be angry............. I knew under all that anger was just pain...... All I could see was that little boy having a tantrum at his mom's funeral. He was just frustrated, confused and angry. Rightfully so.......... .................. Neta I love.... I loved you when I yelled at you, when I argued with you and when I fought with you...... That love will never go away.... I know you thought I didn't love you. part of that is my fault but I did and I still do.....[kiss]
Neta:.......*sobbing*....... I'm aunt K
Kat:....... No matter how old you get. You'll always be a baby to me......
_______________________________________________
Kat: are you sure you don't want to stay here?
Neta: I have to get back to the hotel.... I'll be back tomorrow. I'll bring my daughter and make sure my ikkan stays next time. Hehehe
Kat:hmm... Ok baby... I'll see you tomorrow... [Kiss]............... [hug].......
Neta: [hug]..........I love you K... Hehehe
_______________________________________________
Ikkan:....*snoring*........
Cirrina:..*sleeping*
Neta:..... I'm home
Ikkan: .....*snoring*
Cirrina:.... Mmmm .....Hi daddy ...
Neta: Hey baby girl.... Let me just... Scooch in. . There we go.... How was your day?
Cirrina: It was fun...... Ikkan took me to a museum... Did you know mammalians fins were just strands of thin string they called it hair
Neta: ewww That sounds gross. Hahaha
Cirrina: yeah it was hahaha ....*yawn*........
Neta: let's get some sleep okay honey. We're going to have a very special day tomorrow...[kiss]......*yawn* let's get some shut eye night crab cakes
Cirrina:.......... Night Dad
Neta: I love you
Cirrina: I love you too..
______________________________________________
Mahi was there they're just invisible@fish-at-fish-fish-resort
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equallyshaw · 2 years ago
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𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔶𝔰𝔬𝔫 𝔧𝔬𝔰𝔱
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Warnings: talks of trauma/ptsd, parents killed in car accident.
Word Count: 2.9 k
also it's 2019-2020 here. got her license in 2019, dont mind the mask. also, she is nameless. an oc without a name.
Sour Masterlist.
Tyson is interchanging between you and he, in this.
Happy New Years!! Hope you guys had a wonderful evening, wish all the best this new year :)
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I got my driver's license last week
Just like we always talked about
'Cause you were so excited for me
We met at a Gabe's christmas party, in 2016. I knew Mel from my older sister, they both worked in the same industry. At 18 years old, I still hadn't learned how to drive due to a car accident when I was a kid. I remember I admitted that after we had spent the night with one another two months after we had been talking. You smiled at me, no amusement, no sarcasm or snort in sight. You genuinely, wanted to teach me how to drive and I remember blushing like a fool, and happy tears brim my eyes. Nobody had ever offered, besides my sister.
The very next time we hanged out, on a sunny April afternoon, you smiled and somehow got me to get in that damn drivers seat. I remember having an anxiety attack, I began to shake and cry. With flashbacks of that horrible accident, with me in the backseat. You instantly jumped out of the car, opened the driver's car and kneeled down next to me. Your hands found mine, then set a hand on my knee. Comforting me as much as you could, not knowing or understanding how I felt. You wiped my tears away, giving me a small comforting smile. I frowned then, my lips quivering. You shushed me, bringing my hands up to your mouth and giving them a kiss. You promised me you were there, and that you'd always be. A few minutes later, you hopped back into the passenger seat and told me that I could do this, even if I went less than ten miles an hour in this abandoned parking lot. Somehow, someway I actually drove. Afterwards we got froyo, and I still remember the absolute horrible stomach ache you got. We barely made it to my aunt's house, a few block's drive. You came out of the washroom, and instantly placed your hands on my cheeks, giving me a huge kiss. I remember smiling, and wrapping my hands around yours. We parted, and you told me right then and there. "There is no chance in hell baby you're not getting your permit now!" You playfully joked, and then we marched down to the DMV.
And you're with that blonde girl
September rolled around, and so did training camp. You weren't at the DMV like you had promised you'd be. You promised that you were going to fly out a week early just to come with me and be there. Yet, you were not. Then I drove down to downtown Denver, to spend a day in the city shopping before class and I saw you. And I saw her. I swallowed the tears that began to form, before I turned around and out of that coffee shop. Im certain, you noticed my hair as I whipped around.
And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone
We were together from Feburary of that year, and seemingly broke up around the beginning of August, though I had no idea. You forgot to mention that part, Ty. I think back to the times of no clarity, times where I felt like I was walking on egg shells. Feeling like I had to be somebody different, though I wasn't good enough. You forgot to remember or failed to realize, how in love I was. But you knew. You knew how I felt, confessing the same exact thing to me. How did that change? How did I not become enough? It took me a few months to finally feel like I could breathe, without feeling guilty. It always felt like one step forward and three steps back. It was like I was the love of your life, then I wasn't.
It made me angry. How could you simply discard me? Was I know longer enough for you? You toyed with me for some time, got bored and dumped me without telling me? Or were we never what I thought we were? Gabe and Mel tried their hardest to be there for me, but you were his teammate; so he could only be there so much for me. Mel didn't understand and her and my sister would have conversations here and there. You Tyson, just didn't seem like the type to do that. Though, here we are. I just don't see how you could be ok with your best friend to slip away like that, or was I never your best friend?
And all my friends are tired
Of hearing how much I miss you, but
I kinda feel sorry for them
'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah
I knew around Feburary, a year from when we started to date; everybody was tired about hearing him. How I would sometimes see him around town with that blonde girl. I knew they were tired hearing of how much I missed you. Though, they'd never understand. Mel and Gabe would never understand where I would come from. I felt sorry for them, that they'd never see that kid like freedom and kid like spontaneity from him. He'd always have to feel like he had to be 'on' around them, in order to be taken seriously.
They'd never know of him showing up to my sister's house at 9 am on a Sunday with coffee and a donut from the bakey down the street. Or the random brunch dates he would drag me to. Though, I always wanted to go. Free coffee, wouldn't you go? I took a gap year between my senior year of highschool and college, and that year was spent intandem with him. We would stay up to late talking with morning walks with coffee, and my sister and I's dog. We would run off to the zoo every so often, or to the Denver art museum, or one time we went to Breckenridge to ski and snowbaord. Though middway through, he found me in the lobby doing an 'Après-ski' but with hot coco and a croissant. He smiled at me, before giggling as he sat down in front of me at the coffee bar. Nobody knew the real Tyson, that so very few understood and witnessed. Despite, him dropping me like I was nothing; I'll be forever grateful for that time of freedom and childlike bliss with him.
I still see your face in the white cars, front yards
Can't drive past the places we used to go to
'Cause I still fuckin' love you
Once I got my license, I used to drive to Mel and Gabe's a lot in order to babysit them. You and a teammate named Jt, moved into a townhouse near them and sometimes I'd take the long way to go past; always to see if you were home. I sometimes drive past the zoo, the museums, the canal where we cayaked, the coffee shops and places where we had brunch dates. The bowling alley where some teammbonding and better halves dates happened. There are some days that I just end up at a place, without thinking. Once I park, or catch the street signs; I then realize where im at. Then head home or someplace else. I still love you Ty, and unfortunetly I can't fucking stop. Im afraid I never will.
I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing
There were SO many times we got stuck in traffic, where some of our deepest and most revealing conversations happened. Where some of our fights happened, too. So many times I find myself in the passenger seat, hoping that when I looked over to my sister in the drive's seat, it'd somehow be you. And vice versa. Before we started dating, and right after we met you wanted to take me to see the christmas lights around the city. On the 22nd before you left for home in BC. I smiled shyly, and nodded at the christmas party. We drove around the suburbs, looking at the lights before making our way towards the city. We got stuck in traffic ten minutes away from the zoo lights, and for the first time in my life, I felt incredibly connected to somebody my age.
After my parents died in the car accident, with me in the back seat; I always had trouble connecting with those around me because nobody understood what it was like going through something so life changing and horrific. So I kept to myself, especially the four years after. I finally made two friends, but other than that; I did not have anybody. Certaintly, no boy as a friend. You were my first friend guy friend, and that made me warm and fuzzy inside. In the most platonic and innocence way. I kept that hidden until late Feburary, and again no judgement or alternate thoughts came from you. You accepted that huge part of me, one that has forged a barrier between me and driving. Me and growing up as an adult, and moving on in life. I was always scared that when that happened, I'd be leaving a period of life, a chapter of life that my parents were not apart of. I was 14 when they died, and told myself I'd never drive in my lifetime. Then you came along. And while we sat in that traffic, as I struggled to hold it together, you made me laugh. You told me about growing up in BC, playing hockey, your little sister. Everything. How you were lucky to have JT through all of this, and that he was your bestfriend after only meeting him at training camp. For one of the first time's after the accident, I felt safe in a car. And it was because of you.
I reached out to you when the Pandemic began in March 2020, over a year since we had first met. Only seven months after you and I stopped talking, well you stopped talking. I simply just wanted to make sure you were safe, and to see how you were doing without hockey. I thought that you weren't gonna respond, then a crisp 2 minutes later you did. You told me how you were doing, how lonely you were feeling a week into being alone in the townhouse while JT went home to Chicago with his girlfriend. How upset that you were not able to secure a plane ride home to BC. And that you missed me. I remember pausing once that single message came in, and rereading it over and over again. I wouldn't cave though. He didn't deserve for me to cave. So I simply stated, 'me too.' And I left you on read for two more weeks.
After three weeks altogether, I got a facetime from you around 2 am Mountain time and you were having your first anxiety attack. I remember my heart beating out of my chest, not know what to do over the phone. Once you calmed down after about 10 minutes on facetime, you looked me in the eyes and apologized. Apologized for not only dropping me but how you treated me sometimes in our relationship. I nodded, thanking you. Yet, not givig him much to draw on. I again reiterated that I wished you the best, and hung up. I deleted out messages that sat at the bottom of my conversations list. I blocked your number, sighing a breath of relief. I needed that closure without realizing it.
Yet, he'd always be there with a thorn. You'd always have a sore spot in my heart but with a warning sign. Because you promised to be there, after everything we went through and how long it took me to get to said place; and you weren't there. Did you even love me, like I loved you?
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@herusername: got my license baby !!!!!
Tags: @mel.landeskog and @sistersusername
350 likes, 87 comments.
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@mel.landeskog: so proud of you honey!!!!
@sistersusername: so stinking proud of you. Mom and dad would be too🤍
@gabelandeskog: heck yes!!!! Got a new chauffeur now
@herusername: boy bye
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@mel.landeskog: my (soul) sister got her licenses today. Never been so proud before, you’re gonna me an amazing aunt. I just know it. Also, a babysitter ;)
200 likes, 19 comments. @tysonjost has liked this photo.
Tag: @herusername
@herusername: ahhh love u. Can’t wait to meet baby landeskog !!!
@bigh0rny: congrats little one 👊🏻
@tysonbarrie: congrats !!
@ryanoreilly: yay!
@natemackinnon: awesome party, why wasn’t I invited??
@bigh0rny: I would like to know why I wasn’t either
@sistersusername: best hype squad in the world
@mel.landeskog: totally !!
@vanessamorgan: ahh congrats baby girl!!!
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Hope you guys enjoyed!!!! Please reblog and like, with any feedback. I appreciate it :)
Random tags: @jayda12 @fallinallincurls @jostystyles @comphyjost @zegras2crosby @mack-samo @andreburakozy @makarhughes @slafgoalskybaby
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morganas-pendragons · 2 years ago
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Making a list of what I’ve witnessed/done/learned in the months I’ve worked as a SPED Paraprofessional at Pre-K:
• taught 4 year olds what the skin on your elbow is called
• taught another 4 year old how to wink
• convinced one of my favorite kids that he has a little friend named ghosty ghost following him around who pokes him at random intervals throughout the day
• taught a special needs student who didn’t speak when I met him how to communicate with me specifically through hand signals that indicated what animal he was - does it swim/fly/walk, what does it eat, is it big/small - to which he now speaks more now then he has probably ever
• got played by a 4 year old who wanted a second snack so he casually slid me the last two gushers from his bag and then turned to the teacher and said, “I’m done!”
• got a group of special ed pre-k kids to officially deem bath and body works eucalyptus hand sanitizer as “the good stuff”
• made a joke to a three year old that the enormous books he read after snack every day made him look like he was reading a newspaper. They made a joke every single day that they were on their way to read their newspapers. (It was a volcano book) 😭
• learned that pipe cleaners have metal in them. Yes, I am twenty four.
learned who Pete the Cat was
• learned that adult women between the ages of 35-40 really do act like adult children
• got complimented that my hair was “rapunzel hair” despite it not being cut for like 7 months
• learned how to be a physical touch person despite hating being hugged but hey, four year olds want to hug you constantly and how are you going to deny those puppy dog eyes?
ended up buying one of the little ones who lost his house in a tornado a stuffy and a book.. took it to his house, where he then proceeded to act like he had no idea who I was (it was cute in the moment)
apparently line tag is a thing??? on a basketball court??
oh also, they crack up with laughter when I play tag with them!
they smell markers for sport
You think they realize common little games like staring contests and then when you realize they don’t and teach them anyway they go around and teach their little minions
I have heard them sing: Barbie Girl, Flowers, Unholy, and the one song from Wednesday I can’t remember the name of 😂
I had a guy pass me a love note through his second grade son. No joke. He gave it to his kid, who gave it to the teacher to give to me, and the note was asking me out on a date.
Had a 4 year old straight up innocently say a curse word from his encoded message to his father which said, “dad: please don’t bust my a** anymore.” (Which, according to aunt who worked in building, has only happened once) And about DIED from laughing so hard. So did the teachers.
I got addicted to the snacks I had never tried until working with pre-school. SunChips and Rice Krispies never die.
Found out one of my little boys called me Carla to his parents because they couldn’t quite figure out what name he was saying. It was only upon meeting me that they said, “oh YOU’RE Kayla! We called you Carla for days!”
They sang a song about Goldfish. That song is now burned into my memory. Why is some young children’s music so freaking catchy?
On the last day, my favorite girl turned around to look at me before she got on the bus. I didn’t have the heart to really tell her that I wasn’t coming back. What I said was very brief. When she did turn around, I waved. She waved back. Little did she know I BROKE the second she walked through that door and disappeared. I didn’t think I’d come to love her as much as I did but she made it so EASY.
My oldest boy who I was the aide for? I met his grandmother, and she now sends me such wholesome photos of him and stresses that my loving him the way I did made a huge difference. She doesn’t know how hard I cry every single time she says it.
They have lungs. And I made the mistake of sticking them on high swings they can’t get to by themselves, which they all want to fight over, so half the time I wanted to just talk to teachers I ended up hearing: “MISSSSSSSSS KAYLLLAAAA!!! WILL YOU COME PUSH ME?” Hollered across the playground.
^ I will never make that same mistake again. 😂
Not everyone is meant for pre-school, but MAN… did I love it.
Cons: I never got included in anything by the teachers or their aides. They never included me, and man did that sting.
I GOT PINK EYE IN BOTH EYES THE DAY AFTER SCHOOL ENDED FOLKS
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THE GANG'S ALL HERE {WARNING: PICREW 😦}
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Julius Demain Pidieu but what his voice sounds like to me. Sadly, he looks five months old because the picrew I am obsessed with had no wrinkles🥺. He no longer looks like a sweet sphinx cat😭
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APRICOT UN'AUTRE PIDIEU IN THE HOUSE. SHE HAS NO CONTENT DESPITE BEING JULES'S CANONICAL DAUGHT- oh. Jules has no content. Like father like daughter 😞.
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THIS AUSTRALIAN IS HAVING GAY SEX WITH JULES. {Argent Étolie Chevalier is an OC} {He has like fifteen piercings but I forgor 🤡}
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Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mo- {Dolores Toujours Pideu, Apricot's cool lesbian albino trans aunt that is going to kill me with her beauty}
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Callahan Cyra Jumanah is Dolores's sweetheart, and I AM ALSO GOING CRAZY OVER HER. POWER COUPLE ULTIMATE EDITION. { Some people think she's faking her condition -chronic pain in her left leg and fatigue- because she can walk [with a cane]} {She has to hold Dolly back}
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LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR MASC GENDERFLUID PEOPLE WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO {Coquille Bleue Pidieu is the eldest sibling of the three and can sense colors, shapes, and shadows despite being legally blind.}
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WE ARE OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED. OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED- {Captain Héraklès Alcides Puissant-Redevance of the RCM is an old family friend}
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WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD AT-{Amoureux Perdue Du'Passe, Jules's former work partner and spouse. Sadly, he was killed on the force a few weeks after Apricot died of brain cancer. It was not a good year for Mr Pidieu.}
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W. what if. Jeannie-Marie but when she was young. She was able to work around the giant black ink stain on her yellow dress by finding a thick but comfy sweater. She's one of those people who cannot fucking feel heat so she's alright. {PRETTY WONMAN😳🤤 WITH COCK?????? AMAZING 💯💫⭐🔥🌟✨⚡🎉🎊❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍♥️💘💝💖💗💓💞💕💌💟❣️❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💋🫂🫀👁️👅👁️👀👍👏👌🤌🤙🤝🤜🤛🙏}
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Look, Young Renė was a little cinnamon roll. He could make the most "Fuck dem kids" person into preschool teacher worthy in less than an hour. But y'know, kindness sometimes drowns in hate and PTSD. Although, current Renė MIGHT not make you want to throw a fucking grenade at him if you're at the "Okay, you can put your hand on my wrist BUT THAT'S IT." stage. Zero people are currently at that stage because J-M isn't part of the lore anymore. Also, yeah Renė's trans. trans people can be inconsiderate assholes, we're not sparkles and rainbows. I mean, Look at me. I might not be inconsiderate but I CAN be an ass-of-the-hole.
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Lieutenant Leo hey uh what's that say? K. WHAT. KITSURAGI??? OH MY FUCKING GOD. W H A T? {<-My brain in the process of making this guy up.} {LOOK IT'S KIM'S HALF [?] SEOLITE DAD!} {Btw despite the resting bitch face he's a nerdy sweetheart that loves cars. y'know like his son. I'm going to cry.}
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Cecelia Davenport/Kitsuragi, Kim's fuckin' MILF of a mom. She and Leo LOVED to match. I'm welling up again. Btw she wasn't fully finished because it was three fucking AM when I made her so. 😔.
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I feel like Gaston was a little fuckboy in his teens. I mean, he was still polite though and that lead to conversations like: "So uh [Lip bite} What're you doin' later? OH, FUCK you're grandma's recovering from cancer???? That's amazing! I hope she gets better soon! I can buy some flowers for her if it would cheer her up a bit! Have a good day!" Then Renė comes up and is like "Dude. You fucking sweetheart. Stop acting like a charity and get some goddamn pussy."
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DORA THE DIVORCE EMPLOYER- {Not to be omni but oh my god. oh fuck. golly gee. I wolf whistle while my eyes pop comically out of their sockets and I spontaneously combust then pour a giant bucket of water over myself and steam rises from my ears like a train} {She's not actually in this AU but I love her and felt like making her}
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Elizabeth is the type of girl to try and look professional but still go all out. She finally got out of the gardener's clothes and is slaying hard. Now, speaking of har-
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Made Marie without her hijab because I'm a feral fucking animal and I legit couldn't imagine her hair correctly without reference and ALSO
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REMADE YOUNG RENÉ BECAUSE I HATE THE FIRST ONE. Also I hate that you can't color the facial hair because it looks like his hair is dyed when he's just like that.
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LOOK, IT'S LILLIANOVICH! What the FUCK would this bitch wear when he was a kid? Just made some shit up bro. Also, I like to think he uses reading glasses even though he has pretty good eyes overall.
THERE WE GO
LINK: X
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qumiiiquinnquin · 1 year ago
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it just dawned on me.
that throughout my entire life , ive been abused. its taken its toll on my mental health during my childhood , but not once did i ever think about just. ending it , or ever doing anything to myself.
this probably immediately sounds ridiculous. most kids in an abusive family do try to escape , resort to sh or...disappearing. why didn't i then? was i really abused?
but i never considered any of it , not until i was probably 15 or 16.
the first time i wanted to end it was when i was 11. it wasn't due to family , it was due to thinking a very close friend of mine no longer cared about me. yea , it was over a friendship. she claimed she did still care , and it was on me not participating in conversations. its kind of hard to jump into a conversation though where you're immediately excluded or never acknowledged though... but i claim responsibility and was wrong to feel the way i did and accuse her ((middle school drama)).
but aside from the first time that i learned i shouldnt be allowed to have friends , i otherwise never considered disappearing. the situations with my family my whole life felt normal to me. being yelled at and spanked by my dad up until i was 11 but yelled at again and him being a bit physical with me when i became chronically depressed and severely anxious when i was 16 and 17 , being a bit neglected by my mom and put into multiple situations that could have k!lled me or gotten the cops called on her , being yelled at by my stepdad and never allowed to criticize my mom and always treated like he knows everything and i don't know anything , being manipulated and emotionally abused by my nana and “aunt”...
both my parents did things that easily could've gotten the cops called on them for abuse , since i was a baby. of course , no one found out. and everyone in my family claims to feel sorry and guilty for everything they've done to my sibling and i , except my “aunt” and nana , the latter saying to me before that she's never done anything wrong to my sibling and i. and really , i dont have the guts to call anyone on my family because i know both of my parents and stepdad care about my sibling and i a lot , despite the rough childhood.
besides my parents and stepdad , my “aunt” and nana were the other main sources for my declining mental health , and its because of them that im shocked im still here. as i said , both were very emotionally abusive and manipulative. they were judgmental and strict about our appearances , what we ate , how much we ate , our weights , and our attitudes. especially my “aunt” , who would not even accept a poker face. if you were not smiling , you were automatically accused or questioned of not enjoying yourself , and guilt-tripped for making her and my uncle spend so much money to ensure my sibling and i had a good time.
she wanted things her way , and every time we “misbehaved” it resulted in over the top punishments. we would have to eat lunch that day downstairs the room we stayed in , we couldn't really talk and multiple times we had to write apology letters and read them aloud to her. one time when we did this , after we read her our letters , she brought up how she never met her dad and was raised in poverty , and along with other hardships , she would make herself cry and my sibling and i were forced to console her. another time when we were punished , she took away all of our electronics , and when they were reluctantly given back to us , my sibling and i saw the message on our lock screens that too many attempts had been made and another attempt could be made in a half hour. in other words , she had tried to get into our phones , likely to see if we were communicating with our mom and stepdad or our dad about our “aunt.” one of the days when we got in trouble , my sibling and i had enough and were downstairs , cursing about her. she had clearly been standing right there listening , because she flung open the door right after one of our comments and threatened to fly us back home and make sure our dad grounds us. i told her why she cant just give us back to our mom and stepdad , and she claimed she couldn't do that , and its either we fix our behavior or we go home - this is something she is not allowed to do. for flights to and from my mom's and my dad's , only my mom and dad can coordinate that. to anyone that needs to know the times and dates so they can make sure we’re packed and ready , they will be notified. otherwise , nobody else but my mom and dad are allowed to arrange flights for my sibling and i traveling to and from home.
but she had eavesdropped on us before , doing it an earlier visit after we went to bed and the door was closed. we were whisper complaining , but at one point my sibling stopped me and somebody walked away from the door. she would grab us by the arm or wrist a lot and sternly speak to us a couple inches from our faces , since we were 4 and 5 or 5 and 6. she told me once how we were embarrassing her. she often compared us to other children , saying the kids she would occasionally watch who were older than us acted better than us , and so did our baby cousins. one time when we were punished , she gave us a lecture on our behavior , saying when we get a job with our attitude , we will be fired and end up homeless with nobody to help us because of our behavior and disrespect. she targeted my sibling , one summer making my sibling feel bad for ruining my birthday and returned the gift , blaming my sibling for it. she made my sibling apologize to me and i had to console my sibling that night , who was crying uncontrollably and blaming themselves for everything. the next morning my "aunt" had placed a letter under my pillow , containing $20 inside and apologizing for my sibling's behavior - i tossed the letter and shared the money with my sibling. another time , my sibling got in trouble for something , and had to stay downstairs away from everyone. when they came up for dinner , they played with it , and my "aunt" said that if my sibling wasn't going to eat and just play with their food , then they could go back down to bed. my sibling left and went downstairs and i immediately excused myself too , so i could go be with my sibling. i comforted them and hugged them as they cried. one of the visits when we had to leave to go see our “aunt” , my sibling cried and screamed and my stepdad had to carry them out because there was nothing else that could be done - we had to go see them. only late last year did i realize that she was trying to live through my sibling and i , and i broke down crying.
my nana was my sibling’s and i’s favorite relative growing up until we were 12 and 13. growing up , she was nice , but was strict and oftentimes made rude comments about us , our home , or our parents ((including stepparent)). we just accepted these comments since there wasn't too much else that she was doing other than randomly being rude and self-centered. we didnt know the kind of person our nana was though until we were 12 and 13 , where we found out she was very manipulative and controlling. we wanted to spend a week , just one full week , with our mom , who is the person that i am doing these visits for , as she is the primary person we are here to see. my nana wasn't allowing it and expressed her lack of faith in my mom’s ability to parent and refused to listen to listen to my stepdad’s plea because he cussed at her out of frustration. my sibling and i cried and i had never yelled so loudly at anyone. i was just wanting to spend a week with my mom , but my nana refused to listen and said nobody had any control over the situation and my sibling and i have to deal with it. eventually she talked to my mom in private , and then came back crying and begging for forgiveness and allowed us to stay the rest of the summer break ((3 weeks)) with our mom , not forcing us to see anyone else. my mom told me though that from that incident , my nana believed that im autistic and my sibling is bipolar ((...because we were fighting back , yelling , and crying , demanding she let us spend time with our mom...)).
only after that did it get worse. she now had shown the manipulative and controlling aide of herself , so now every visit was more tense and she wasn't afraid to keep showing that side. she gaslit us , telling me back in 2020 that she had never done anything wrong to my sibling and i , right after an extremely minor situation got out of control because of her and she made it about herself , sending out an email blaming our mom , stepdad , aunt , uncle , and dad for raising us the way they did and letting us behave the way we do , and claiming my sibling and i were acting like visiting her was like getting bamboo shoved up our fingernails. our nana targeted my sibling as well throughout childhood , rarely trusting them and refusing to trust me when id try to stand up for them because ‘im just being their sibling and defending them.’ i was also only realizing shit she was doing our entire lives , such as making us visit everyone without complaints and keeping us away from our mom. although my mom wasn't well for a while , my nana kept us from her a lot because she had no faith in my mom’s ability to parent , and openly shamed her for her weight and body , once saying “do you want to end up looking like your mother?” to my sibling and i when we were younger and had wanted a snack an hour after not being able to finish our breakfast that morning. she had also tried forcing gender stereotypes on us and tried to make us grow up to be attractive women , wear girls clothing only , do housework while our grandpa doc worked , and be submissive to others. in 2017 or 18 when she learned of my hatred towards our "aunt" , she told me i need to stop holding unnecessary grudges and just get over it , because it does nothing but ruin relationships and it's not fair or respectful to people.
both my “aunt” and nana openly blamed our dad and family back home for our behaviors. my nana didnt like my dad in general because my mom’s claim that he had hit her while they were still married , and my nana had told me when i was 8 that my dad was the cause of the divorce and had expressed surprise about him being able to raise two children while single and in the military. my “aunt” just...hated everyone. she was rude to everyone , but always demanded respect in return. she would never talk to others but just watch them closely , but when anyone talked to her , she'd say very short responses in a harsh tone.
my sibling and i couldn't do anything. there was nobody for us to turn to. we knew that nobody would listen to us because we're "just being little kids" , and spring break of 2014 or 15 just cemented those worries. my nana claimed that she'd do something when we expressed to her the things our "aunt" had done up until that point , but she never did until my "aunt" and uncle got divorced in 2018 , kicking our "aunt" out of the family. our nana communicated with our dad about us flying to and from home to see our mom , and if we had opened up at all about our nana , if would've caused enormous problems and we likely wouldn't have been able to fly out to see our mom anymore. there was no escape from this family. our mom and stepdad knew about our "aunt" and nana , but couldn't do anything and told us to just go with the flow - which never worked , but nothing else could be done. my dad just excused our nana's behavior as part of her upbringing and being from a wealthy family , and we just have to be understanding of her - also didn't work because respect needs to be mutual not one-sided , otherwise you then have a controlling relationship. he did not seem to be aware of what she and our "aunt" were doing , as i had expressed one of the incidents of our "aunt" to my dad's former girlfriend's daughter in 2018 or 19 , and he overheard me , repeatedly saying "what the hell."
since there was nobody for us to talk to or anyone that would believe us , my sibling and i kept it to ourselves. all we could do was vent to each other , cry , complain about having to visit/stay with someone , and , something i very much recall: when i was 11 and my sibling was 10 , we both took out my old tablet and opened up a notes app , listing things we believe we were , putting down things like burdens , children , wastes of time , brats , ugly , and worthless. we saw little to no value in ourselves , and i only recently realized just the kind of impact our "aunt" and nana had on our mental healths at such young ages.
but now , everything has calmed down. i dont know why , but since 2021 it feels like everything that was wrong in my family completely stopped. my nana has chilled out a lot since the passing of her husband , though she still makes unwanted and rude comments time to time. i haven't seen or heard from our "aunt" since 2018 either. earlier that year , our mom told us that our "aunt" wanted us to keep her company after the divorce ((there's a certain term for it but i don't recall it)) , but we declined immediately because we knew she'd just use us for comfort and make us consolidate her at all times. im very glad i haven't seen her again , she had been abusive to our uncle too , whom i was very surprised to see was much nicer after he divorce. we were used to him being emotionally abusive towards us too , but after the divorce and he was much more friendly , i realized it was the influence she had on him that had made him be so hurtful in the past. im still frustrated at my nana for not taking into account the impact she had on my sibling and i and only caring about our uncle , especially because we had said something 4-5 years prior.
but despite all that...i for some reason never considered shing or disappearing or escaping. there was nothing else i could do , why did i never consider it? i only have since 2020 when my mental health started declining , but it was originally due to just general sewercidal thoughts and hating being depressed. but in the last couple of years , ive been having bad memories of how our nana and "aunt" used to treat us , and it partially became a reason why i wanted to commit. when i attempted back in 2021 , the reasons then were because of them , and being tired of being depressed , and thinking ill make everyone's lives better.
i just don't understand. when i had my first ideation at 11 , it wasn't due to family , but it was in the middle of the fucking 10+ years of abuse we faced. only at 15 and 16 did it bother me , and im finding it hard at 18 to be able to just. get past it.
i just don't understand. why did it never cross my mind? my thoughts at 11 should've been about family.
and i wish i had acted on them to get out of this hell.
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returntosaturn271995 · 3 months ago
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Sunday, August 18th: Brat Summer, Demure Fall, and all the other memes that make horrible sense
First of all: check it. Soil could help save 1/7th of our super deadly carbon emissions. Is my ultimate conspiracy theory that it's already to late to save the planet but scientists can't handle all of humanity panicking? Yup. Still, uplifting.
Reading: Princess Diana's autobiography. Also Anna-Marie Tendler's autobiography got absolutely ROASTED by Celebrity Memoir Book Club and that has swiftly become my new favorite podcast.
Writing: An essay on running from a depressive view point
Cooking: Made artichoke and feta burgers today. Heavy is the hand that adds the garlic.
Political Awareness: Kamala Harris wants to incentivize affordable housing, ban fracking, and curb "greedflation" on important medications. JD Vance wants to fuck a couch. How is this election fucking close?
Loving Relationships: Monika, Makenna, Dad, Mom, Lauren, Ash, Bonnie, Natalie, Aunt Kelly and so on. No beef as far there is beef to be had. Such a relief always to be surrounded by the right people for me.
Getting Outside: Ruined my hair but I slathered on some sunscreen a ran around PB for a solid 30 minutes. It's pathetic how quickly I'm memorizing what streets have shade on them. Grabbed a Pressed Juice that went down a little spicy.
Dressing w/ style: Light green and white floral midi-dress handed down to me from Makenna (so sweet), white slide sandals, and a simple single pearl on a necklace.
Cleaning: My eyes may have lost a layer of moisture but the toilet is shining, the mirrors in the house have been windexed, and the floors have been mopped. I took out the trash and put away the dishes. Still to brace ourselves: dealing with the now very dead and rotting bee hive in the wall. *gags* Why do bad things happen to good bee-killers?
Organization: Planned like a woman possessed for the week ahead. Tomorrow for rougher tasks I plan to implement the Pomodoro technique- and maybe implicitly acknowledge I have ADHD in the process.
Yoga: 20 minutes stretching and supposedly relaxing while reruns of The Bear (the most intense show about beef) were shown on TV. Downward Dog? Yes, Chef.
Cardio: Those stretches were needed however as I hit 200 miles today baby! Knocked out a 5 K and my larger goal while sweating and listening to the "Six" musical soundtrack. Can I get a buzzer? Goalllllll! You didn't think I could do it, did yah? WELL, I DID, MOTHAHFUCKAHS. And while this is definitely a late 20s cry for importance, it's still cheaper than having a baby.
Meditation: I actually whipped out my meditation cushion and incense for today's focus on shedding. What does one gain from meditation? Nothing. It's about what we lose: fogginess, anxiety, impatience, and the need to change the current moment. I found myself so excited about the plans I made for tomorrow and realized I could channel that energy in to the very moment, the very next habit I wanted to nail.
Comedy: I reminded myself of one of my own favorite beginning quotes: You know whose had it too good for too long? Also writing a bit about when addicts swing to health extremes and suddenly act with authority. "Mmmm you once chased me through a vons parking lot on what you were 'pretty sure' was ketamine., but thanks Dr. Oz."
Some version of: that it's great that you went to rehab but it doesn't make you wiser or more of an expert on life now, it's kind of like bragging to other kids that you're more educated than them because you had to go Summer School.
Hydration/Sobriety: Check and check
Sunscreen/Skincare: I'm over here looking like a dolphin
New experiences: Never made that type of burger or drank that pressed juice, never have ran that exact running route, never wore that green dress before, never had listened to the Comedy Memoir Book Club before, never cleaned with such effective bleach before annnnd I woke up earlier today because I played a memory game on my new alarm.
Woof, just reading that I'm a little ty ty. A day worth living that got 100%.
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myforrest2 · 4 months ago
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Comedy ideas
Slave robots
Price to let me fuck your wife
Dating dos and don’t and questions
Pro-nouns- trans
Crying over your favorite vagina
Women are expensive
Date when I have leverage
Tik tok physically abusive ps
black women giving u add
grieving and gettin pussy
nobody takes light skinned niggas seriously
i hate beige niggas with good hair
the short dude of the beiges
living a lie
gotta know how to fight
i'm over qualified to date
AA meeting
so much so i became a social worker
coworker said i dated white women
waist bead killa
ask your homegirl about the last nigga that scammed her
progressive women
Dating
1. the apps (virgos, spelman women, big titty taurus
2. vasectomy before it was fashionable
3. kids have and want more
4. meeting (questions)
5. aids commercials during hulu and chill
6. dog in bed
7. stress and ED
8. being 19 and 40
9. learned all the words women use capacity
10. i got a dick but i got feelings 2
11. munch love myself too much
12. divorce how they really feel
13. dv abd blueface show
14. quantum leap
how many dicks would u suck to get your student loans forgiven
my friends have kids and i dont have stufent loans . latest flex
off and on the apps
only reason im tryin to date again is cuz i heard my upstairs neighbor having sex
dr umar shaking head whenever i swipe right on a white girl
Apache open mic
2friday comedy at 9
tuesday at 8
wednesday 9
Dark Humor. Button up, Buttercup
Hershel Walker hit his wife using his hands.
Raphael Warnock hit his wife with the car and ran over her foot.
Raphael currently has a 48% to 45% lead amongst polled college students in Georgia.
This does not surprise me because today's young students do not support employment using their hands.
emotionally unavailable BW
to women with low self esteem
but too shallow
in 2023 i am giving up emotionally unavailable black women
Waffle house reality show
football now like watching condom sex
africa sex with condom
bag of vaginas to make life easier
interview grandmas that fucked wilt chamberlain
i dare you to ask your granny if she fucked wilt.
moving to ghana off 30k
chlamydia the bv of stds
fucked 3 in one day
them/they pussy
trans vs cis
price of pussy
bag of pussy
quantum leap
tik tok
snow on the bluff
yoga nude
yoga teacher
RIP t-shirt with my dad air brushed
big scarr's funeral. shot a video
dated a bitch 2 abortions
bitch cried during sex
vasectomy . i am the plan b
abortions
trapeze
laughing skull gay niggas
autistic gay phase
trans men
trans women cut ur dick off
gay niggas walk like spike lee movies
booty os
roaches in atl
child support
harvey weinstein had sick dick
3some etiquite
better pussy
retarded brother
fought white boy in 6th grade
tyrone's brother
dating a virgo
being terrified on stage
played sax in the church band
black moms
kamala harris ending unemployment
my aunt was drooling on herself had diabetic dimensia
had maw maw shook
having to ask mom if i could spend the night
cousins house
women hate the truth kryptonite
low self esteem pussy
dad's heart attack/chest pains
fraternities
dj pauls arm
being a black vet is hard
prisoners get more respect
iraq was like work release abroad
people that watch who follows who
hamlin scam. i need more friends. loner
andrew gillum cau/morehouse grad
cuckold stories. police officer
switching genders
iggy azaela earned 307 k in 24 hours. if inwas a woman i'd never b broke
trans men going thru puberty
Critical race theory should have been called cool race theory
the truth/accountability is pussy kryptonite
walk thru meg/tory kelsey shot meg. who had more of the motive. women lie like dudes. Meg is OJ for Black women
men tell little lies. women tell BIG Lies
ask who is paying child support
how much
dude that made 7.50 and hour paying 1.49 a month
dude that killed his wife
CS a scam
happy wife happy life
i miss my work wife
memphis cops
picking a trauma
chlamydia
bacterial vaginosis for men
asian on asian crime
gook on gook crime
being a husband is like being a post op trans woman
cool race theory
happy wife happy life
Unfaithful movie
SK victims homeless Black women
plotting m*****
plantation game
harriet tubman 360 deals
who got better pussy? (ask women sitting next to each other)
autism
lazy white people
slavery a pretty cool concept
having a white slave in the army
whole skit on asians
y we hate canada y canada hates us
first nigga to die in a chicago winter
eastern and western borders
god b scammin trans people
levels to lgbt self hate
ye and cudi fuckin
dv jokes
got dad's pocket pussy bronzed
next to vet flag
bronze shoes
dad was a shooter
cps stories
fuckin kids' teachers
the trans people of black folks being light skinned
the brotha darkness show interviews with comics
fight haven wheelchair
vday wish i ckuld get somebody pregnant but cant
cjild support but wont pay for pussy
dfcs stories
pet store kid in kennel
broke up white family extended stay
teachers getting beat up by students
Ms. Ringo 7th grade science teacher
teacher killed by school principal
praying grandma
got more respect for the post op trans
uber beats
dabrat pregnant at 48 touch of downs
aint smelled a cig in years. vapes keeping the cancer to yourself
women get to be honest men cant
women live lies
i hate being light skimned. the kind that keeps me alivle
abortion. women fucked it up. covid amazon then war
deaf people doin stand up
aaron rodgers darkness retreat fancy solitary confinement
favorite vagina cry after i jack off
synthetic vagina
dd214 is out paper work
my skin is light but my comedy is dark
church revival
vasectomy like having a slorts car
michael jackson live vocals
domestic violence turns me on
alex murdaugh
xylazine addicts zombie drugs
medical studies
sou sou circle
it's cool to be retarded now
ol girl asked about student loans. should have asked if she would have sucked me off
joined the army cuz i was poor and had a cavity
how do u want to b murdered? true crime hoes
keith lee cholesteral
eating videos
molested by neighbors daughter
have u been molested?
coochie is an acquired taste like beer
reparations what would u b willing to trade?
part white so i look at black people how straights look at the pronoun gang
killing your kids
shamiya hall
cps ptsd
are men softer. evolution
rose party
first pussy i ate
work release abroad
kidnapped in mexico
conjoined twins
church
pull all the genders
molested
lt dan
dad no indoor plumbing
mom killed autistic son threw in lake
pussy on the block chain put the bitch on the block chain
me too made niggas do an audit of their sexual history
baby holocaust
keepin a bitch happy is stressful
crying on tiktok
chris rocks goal was to keep his daughter off the pole mine is to not see my daughter on reddit
grocery store the special alympics
no relationship no raw
slap fights
do people still get crabs?
alien pussy
gender trades
utah cabin murders
da brat's baby gonna have a touch of Downs
do synthetic coochies get stds
how big of a screen do u watch porn on
roe v wade
cant b gay if u axe throw. no limp wrists
if she's good at axe throwing, she will kill u
ms cleo brand tarot cards
retard beef . downs vs. Non verbal autistic kids
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7sWLfC/
black men got the early trans struggle . django scene cut dick off . we can relate
good blood pressure
levels to the gay
race play
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scarletwelly-boots · 2 years ago
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Books Read 2022
I read 30 books this year, which is sadly sixteen fewer books than last year, but I read an additional 15 graphic novels that I did not factor into the challenge. So not counting those graphic novels, I completed 60% of the challenge, much less successful than last year. This is my seventh year doing the Popsugar Reading Challenge. Let’s get into it under the cut.
1. The School for Good Mothers, by Jessamine Chan (a book published in 2022). This was okay but a frustrating read. A mom gets in trouble for leaving her infant daughter home alone for several hours and goes to a rehabilitation of sorts to learn how to be a better parent in the hopes that it will allow her to win back custody of her child. I didn’t like how I was unable to anticipate subtle genre shifts, but as I didn’t really read a summary ahead of time, it’s possible I could have prevented being blindsided by this. (This was the first book I read in a book club I joined this year, so I didn’t choose it myself. Normally I would read the synopsis before starting, and I probably wouldn’t choose to read it on my own.)
2. The Tea Dragon Society, by K. O’Neill (a sapphic book). This was a trilogy of graphic novels. The art was gorgeous and the world was so interesting I wanted there to be more to interact with. There are a bunch of queer characters, gay and lesbian and bisexual (if I remember correctly) and trans/genderfluid. The story is so sweet, and I definitely recommend.
3. Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World, by Benjamin Alire Saenz (a book by a Latinx author). Oh, god, this book was excellent. It’s a sequel to Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, and it was a perfect follow-up. I loved how sweet Aristotle and Dante are, and it also wrapped up some somewhat loose ends from the first book. The ending made me cry and replay it (I listened to the audiobook, because it’s read by Lin-Manuel Miranda again), and it’s so wonderful. Highly, highly recommend.
4. In the Ravenous Dark, by AM Strickland (a book about a found family). I’m still trying to figure out if I liked this book. I certainly loved all of the queer rep: pan protagonist, poly relationship, gay characters, nonbinary character, etc. It was a very dark fantasy though, and the main character was super dark-gray morally. I felt like the world building was messy, especially after just finishing the author’s first book right before reading this one. I also think it could have possibly been several chapters shorter. Some scenes seemed unnecessary. If you like queer, dark fantasy with some slight late-oughts YA fantasy tropes (spoilers if I get more specific than that, but it involves some things a lot of YA fantasy at that time had) then you might enjoy it.
5. Beyond the Black Door, by AM Strickland (a #BookTok recommendation). I am not on TikTok, so I’m not really privy to the BookTok books, but I imagine this one has probably come up before. If you look up books with ace characters, it’s like the top of every list you find. It’s been on my To-Read list for about a year now, and last month was my month to pick the book club book, so I used that as an excuse to force myself (and a couple of my allo aunts and cousins) to read it. This book is so fucking good! The world building in this Strickland book is so organized and thoughtful and just fascinating. Kamai is fantastic ace rep (in my experience), and I think the book helped affirm my own identity a little bit, since I am struggling somewhat to come to terms with being ace myself. There are also gay and trans side characters. Highly recommend!
6. The Great Divorce, by CS Lewis (a book about the afterlife). So I listened to this book on my commute, and I didn’t really follow most of it. I also don’t totally remember what happened other than a guy visits the afterlife (and CS Lewis is Anglican I think, so it’s a very Christian afterlife, but not like the stereotypical pearly gates and angels in clouds stuff). I’d say it was okay, I guess, but I genuinely don’t remember how I felt about this. If you’re looking for Chronicles of Narnia, though, read Chronicles of Narnia. This isn’t that.
7. A Home at the End of the World, by Michael Cunningham (a book set in the 1980s). A little bit botched, as it follows two boys from when they are very small in the 60s, when they meet in middle school, and then through the 80s as young adults. I started this book at the end of last year (did I include it in the list last year? Don’t remember). I mostly liked it. I liked the polyamorous co-parenting angle of it, but it didn’t last long enough (I don’t know if that’s a spoiler). It was a little too slow for me, if I remember correctly. Like I was trying to finish it before 2022 but it was not engaging enough to hold my interest to finish on time.
8. The Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum (a book about witches). Another book club book. My dad has been trying to get me to read this book (and the rest of the series) for most of my life. I think I’ve only seen the movie once, when I was very little, but I’ve read and seen Wicked and love it, and really like the Cowardly Lion. I liked this book a lot. I felt like the parts that were not included in the movie were really interesting and even the parts I remember from the movie were good to read, too. The Scarecrow and the Tinman are gay, I don’t make the rules. Recommend.
9. Where the Past Begins, by Amy Tan (a book becoming a TV series or movie in 2022). So I may have botched this. I watched a documentary on Netflix about Amy Tan and it at least was added to Netflix this year, but I don’t know if it aired on PBS this year, too. It included a lot of quotes from this memoir and moments that this memoir covers, so I figured the book was the jumping-off point for the documentary, though I don’t think the memoir and the doc share the same name. It was really interesting, since I know very little about Tan. I’ve only read The Joy Luck Club and Sagwa, and both a very long time ago. Recommend.
10. The Startup Wife, by Tahmima Anam (a romance novel by a BIPOC author). Another book club book. This book was really interesting. I really wanted the app the characters created to be real, and I know very little about startups, but the trajectory of how the company went just seemed pretty realistic for the most part as far as I’m aware. It was okay, but I’d look up an actual summary to see if you want to read it. I don’t not recommend it, but again, it’s not a book I’d choose to read myself.
11. I Kissed Shara Wheeler, by Casey McQuiston (a book that takes place during your favorite season). Casey McQuiston continues to write excellent books. I also read One Last Stop this year (see further down). I would say this book is her second best so far, after Red, White, and Royal Blue. I liked all of the rep in this book as well as the enemies to lovers trope. It kind of starts out similar to John Green’s Paper Towns, if the boy in Paper Towns hated the girl in Paper Towns (I don’t remember their names; I read that book fifteen years ago), but was still determined to figure out where she went. And also if the boy in Paper Towns was also a girl, because Bas doesn’t read anything straight anymore unless I’ve been forced to by book club. Definitely recommend!
12. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman (a book whose title begins with the last letter of your previous read). I don’t remember what my previous read was when I read this, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t botch this. Movie is better (sorry Neil), but the book is still really good and clarifies some things the movie doesn’t have time to show. Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors, though, so I am still obligated to recommend.
13. Can’t Take That Away, by Steven Salvatore (a book about a band or musical group). I kind of botched this. The two main characters are singers, and they both star in their school musical. This was hard to get through because of the anxiety the protagonist has (and I read some of the rougher patches on an airplane, a setting which gives me major anxiety) and definitely TW for homophobia and transphobia and bullying. But ultimately it was an uplifting story, and the main character is genderqueer. Each chapter is titled with their pronouns for that chapter, so I was excited that their pronouns change like mine do. It’s difficult in some parts if you’re sensitive to queerphobia, but I highly recommend.
14. ACE, by Angela Chen (a book with a character on the ace spectrum). This is a little botched, since this book isn’t fictional, but it’s written by an ace person who interviews several different ace spectrum people throughout the book. It’s really interesting and covers many different aspects of asexuality and intersectional challenges for asexuality. This is another book this year that helped me come to terms with my own asexuality, and also gave me a better understanding of allosexuality. More than once I texted my allo friend like, “Wait, this is how you experience this??” Or “THIS is what that means??” It was pretty eye-opening for an ace with the few times the author compares the ace and allo experience, so I think allo people could probably learn even more. Recommend.
15. Doctor Strange: God of Magic, by Donny Cates (a book about a secret). I don’t really remember what the secret is, but the entire premise is Loki ends up Sorcerer Supreme, so like, he’s clearly up to something. This is the only comic graphic novel I included in the challenge proper, so I think it was the first comic graphic novel I read this year, before I realized I was devouring Loki and Loki-adjacent comics at an ungodly (ha) speed and if I wasn’t careful I was going to botch half the challenge (not that I haven’t already done that in previous years with other books). This comic run was pretty good, if I remember correctly, and I think it’s my first introduction to comic book Strange, so that’s cool.
16. One Last Stop, by Casey McQuiston (a book with a misleading title). I mean, I imagine this title could be misleading. I came into this a year and a half after it was published, and I follow the author on IG, so I knew what this book was about well before pre-ordering it. I thought it was pretty good, but I wasn’t super into it. I at least wasn’t as into it as I was into RWRB or I Kissed Shara Wheeler. Jane, though. Jane I’m super into. I’m also super into the way the audiobook narrator reads Jane’s dialogue, and maybe the narrator’s voice herself (pretty sure that’s the right pronoun), since I listened to a different audiobook with that narrator this year, too. Recommend all the same, or maybe just because I’m gay as shit for Jane.
17. The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman (a Hugo Award winner). Another book by my favorite author. This is actually a reread, but the last time I read this book was fifteen years ago. This is a retelling of The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling, except the Mowgli character is adopted by ghosts in a graveyard instead of wolves in a jungle, and the villain is a Jack the Ripper-type murderer rather than Shere Khan the tiger. It stands the test of time (I mean, it’s Neil Gaiman, of course it fucking does), and so so so good. Highly recommend.
18. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, by Mackenzi Lee (a book set during a holiday). Botched a bit. Not a specific holiday, just a holiday as in a trip. Still just as excellent as it was last year, still highly recommend. See Books Read 2021 for more information.
19. Husband Material, by Alexis Hall (a different book by an author you read in 2021). This is the sequel to Boyfriend Material, which I read last year. The boys are still very cute, but they’re still having trouble communicating, which is very annoying TWO YEARS after the events of Boyfriend Material. This one was a lot more dramatic than I remember the first one being, and I didn’t like the ending. So stick with the first one, which was very good.
20. The Measure, by Nikki Erlick (a book with a quote from your favorite author on the cover or Amazon page). Little bit botched. The author in question is Laurie Frankel, who wrote This Is How It Always Is, a trans book I read a few years ago. While a good book, the author is not among my favorites specifically. This was another book club book, and really good. I think this is my favorite book from book club this year that I didn’t pick myself. It’s a vaguely sci-fi book in which everyone over the age of 21 receives a box with a string representing the remaining length of their life, and then follows several characters as they navigate the (mostly American) world that changes in the aftermath of the receipt of the strings. It was really interesting, and neither unrealistically hopeful nor unrealistically cynical (in my opinion). Definitely recommend.
21. The Queer Principles of Kitt Webb, by Cat Sebastian (a book set in Victorian times). Holy shit I forgot how fucking good this was. I think this was the second book I read this year. A rich heir hires a retired highwayman to teach him how to rob his father and also they’re gay. I can’t remember much that isn’t spoilers, so that’s all I’ll say. But it was so interesting and hot and I highly recommend.
22. The Friend, by Sigrid Nunez (a book you know nothing about). I’m still finishing this book. Another book club book, but I’m not loving it. The narrator loses her best friend, and in the midst of navigating her own grief also takes in her friend’s also grieving dog. It feels very stream of consciousness, and I’m glad I’m listening to it, because I don’t think reading it myself would hold my attention for very long. I don’t really like the character of the friend either. So I don’t really recommend it.
23. Both Can Be True, by Jules Machias (a book about gender identity). Very good. A dual-perspective middle grade book. One of the characters is genderfluid (like me!). The two kids become friends because the other character ends up secretly taking care of a dog who was supposed to be euthanized at the vet office he volunteers at. (Spoilers, I’m sorry, but I think many people are concerned about this the way that I am, the dog does NOT die in the end). I was a little distracted through much of it because someone find an adult to help these children oh my god. But it was very sweet and I liked the genderfluid rep. Recommend.
24. She Who Became the Sun, by Shelley Parker-Chan (an #OwnVoices SFF book). Another book club book, and the other book I picked this year. This is a fictionalized and queer-ified retelling of a historical Chinese dynasty. Many of the characters are inspired by and named after actual historical figures, but there is also a paranormal and supernatural element, and the character that becomes the emperor is gnc in this telling. I really liked this. I found it very interesting. I think the sequel is supposed to come out next year maybe? Recommend.
25. Walk In Love, by Scott Gunn and Melody Wilson Shobe (a book that fulfills your favorite prompt from a past Popsugar Reading Challenge: A book from your TBR list you associate with a favorite place—church). This is the book we read in my Adult Formation class when I started attending Episcopal church last year, and we finished it this year. It was very interesting, and lays out the central beliefs of the Episcopal denomination. If you’re interested in different denominations or the Episcopal church itself, I recommend it. If not, it probably won’t be interesting to you.
26. Cemetery Boys, by Aiden Thomas (a book that features two languages). Still so good. A reread, because it was so good the first time around. See last year’s Books Read for more information.
27. Black Cake, by Charmaine Wilkerson (a book about someone leading a double life). This was a really interesting book. I liked the dual timelines and the changing perspectives. I didn’t really like that one of the characters’ bisexuality has such a central influence on her narrative arc, yet neither she nor the book itself nor any of the other characters ever name her identity outright. That was frustrating. But other than that, I did really like this book.
28. Peter Darling, by Austin Chant (a book featuring a parallel reality). UGH, still so freakin’ good. See last year’s Books Read for more information, and if you haven’t read it yet, READ IT, and if you have, READ IT AGAIN.
29. Lake Lore, by Anne-Marie McLemore (a book with two POVs). Oh my GOD, this book was so good. You’ve got neurodivergent rep, trans rep, enby rep, Latinx rep, so much rep. Plus magical realism. The book is dual-perspectives, so the audio book is narrated by Avi Roque (who narrates the Cemetery Boys audiobook AND voices Raine in Owl House) and Vico Ortiz (Jim from Our Flag Means Death). I loved it so much. Highly recommend.
30. The Living Great Lakes, by Jerry Dennis (a book set on a plane, train, or cruise ship). Botched a little. Part of the book takes place on a yacht, and part on a sailboat. I loved this book. It covers the geology, history, ecology, and the changing face of the Great Lakes. The introduction sucked me in, because he put into words exactly how I feel about my piece of the Great Lakes. Definitely recommend.
Okay, so it’s not that I think graphic novels aren’t real books. They certainly are, and I included a couple above and in previous challenges. However, I read so many this year, and many were difficult to fit into categories before I gave up and kept them separate. So below are the 15 graphic novels I read. Because I read them quickly and a long time ago, I don’t remember much about them, if I liked them or would recommend them, so I’ll say I remember that I do recommend Young Avengers. Great queer rep, as well as filling in some holes between Journey into Mystery and Loki: Agent of Asgard. That’s not to say I wouldn’t recommend anything else on this list, just that I remember that run better than anything else I read.
1. The Trials of Loki, by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa
2. The Mighty Valkyries, by Jason Aaron
3-6. Journey Into Mystery 1-4, by Dougie Braithwaite
7. King Thor, by Jason Aaron
8-10. Young Avengers 1-3, by Kieron Gillen
11-13. Loki: Agent of Asgard 1-3, by Al Ewing
14. Original Sin
15. Loki: The God Who Fell to Earth, by Oscar Bazaldua
My top ten new reads this year will be coming in another post. 
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s0c1al-r3j3ct · 2 years ago
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"Phoenix is the coolest pilot nickname!" Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x Single Mom Back Seater! Reader
Hey! It been over a year since I posted a story but I had this idea and had to get it down somewhere. I am so upset over the lack of Phoenix FFs :c. I am so in love with her. I love both Top Guns so much lol. Sorry if this sounds bad or has any errors. I got lazy towards the end and with proofreading.
Notes:
You are Rooster's sister and Zeus is your front seater from your old squadron. I'm thinking that your daughter is from a toxic or young and careless situation and the dad left. I used "pilot nickname" not because I don't know what a call sign is but because I thought it would be cute to have a more childish way of saying it. Sorry if the way your daughter's speaking is inaccurate to how a 5 y/o actually speaks. I haven't hung out or been a 5 y/o for a while obviously lol.
She/her pronouns. Sorry
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"Mommy!" squealed a tearful voice behind you. The pitter-patter of her feet against the smooth floor made you whip your head around, halt your speed-walking, and wipe the smudged lip gloss off your face to look at the owner of such a perfect sounding voice.
"Jade?! Jade! I didn't know you would be her! Come here baby!" you cried, crouching down to the floor with spread arms hoping she didn't notice the slight wince you made when she flung herself onto you.
You two wailed and sniffed and sobbed in each others arms until you could muster the words you were so scared you may never have gotten to say again.
"Hey, stop crying, sweetheart. I'm here. I'm so happy to see you! Did you grow while I was gone? You look soooo big and strong!" you joked trying to hide the earth shattering sobs that wanted to rip from your mouth after you removed you nose from her neck to rest your forehead on her much smaller one.
"I'm so happy to see you, too, Mommy! I grew up lots today! You remember what day it is, right?" she looked at you with those big beautiful e/c eyes expectantly. They were puffy no doubt from crying and her little nose was cold with snot. That was your little girl. Snotty nose and all, your girl. You wanted to share her with another beautiful girl...Phoenix.
"Of course I remember! How could I forget? My big girl turns 5 today!" you would have joked with her, but you didn't have the heart right now. You were terrified that her 4th birthday would be the last one you had with her, but she promised you she would bring you home safely to celebrate the best day of your life. Phoenix promised you that...Phoenix...Phoenix...her call sign reverberated in your mind. You had to ask Jade what she though of meeting her, the love of your life. You prayed to whatever there is above that Jade at least would like her because you didn't want to loose your first healthy relationship but you also felt it was important for Jade to be ok with you being with Phoenix. It was important to Natasha too. You had to ask Jade for her "blessing" of sorts. " What did you do with Uncle Zeus and Aunt Jolie while I was away?"
"I had lotssss of fun! Guess what? I got 100% on my handwriting check at Pre-K! But I did a lot of missing you though...I know that you can't tell me I won't do more missing you, but I understand that! What did you do?" That sentence broke you heart. She's growing up too fast and you wished you could keep her young and carefree for longer but there was no way you could. Being a military family is a gamble on if you'll come home and she knows that all too well already unfortunately.
"I'm sorry that you missed me so much, but the good thing is that I don't see much of me going away in the future, sweetheart. I am so proud of you for getting 100%! I can't wait to see how good it looks! I did a lot of missing you too, so did Uncle Rooster. He's in the hospital right now getting a check up. We can go visit him later. He will be just fine though, don't worry. I also worked out, flew, and learned a lot. I have a big question for you though, sweets. You don't have to answer it right now, but I want you to have an open mind. Can you do that for me?"
"I can try, Mommy. Is there something wrong?"
"No no, I'm ok. So.....I met a special person here and I want you to meet her and I reallyyyy like her. Remember that you are always #1 in my heart though. Ok? I like this person enough to think about spending the rest of my life with her, like as a couple or even to think of us as your mommies, but your opinion is the most important so you don't have to say yes to letting us be together. All I want is for you to meet her. I think you'll like her a LOT though. She's super cool, she flew my plane when we were on the mission I told you about. She promised me that she would bring me home safe to you. I also told her all kinds of cool and amazing things about you and she is SUPER excited to meet you. So will you do that for me, meet her and tell me what you think?"
"I-uhm, I can try, Mommy. I just don't want anything bad happen and I don't know how I feel about having a second mommy so I'm not too sure yet. But if you like her so much and she brought you home to me to celebrate my birthday I think I won't have too much of a problem. What's her name?"
"Thank you for telling me your honest feelings, my love. It's totally ok to feel that way and I don't expect you to warm up to her right away. Her name is Natasha and her pilot nickname is Phoenix." you answered, rubbing your nose against hers affectionately.
"I think that's a really cool pilot nickname!" she giggle, scrunching her eyes closed as you tickled her sides."
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As Rooster heard the hospital door creak open and heard two pairs of feet walk in he smiled. He hadn't seen his niece in what felt like forever and was proud of himself for successfully getting Zeus and Jade to San Diego safely to see you. Jade jumped on his lap in the bed and hugged him tightly. Y/N then looked at her phone and saw a notification of some sort that prompted her to excuse herself to go do what she had to do remarking that it would only take a half hour.
A few minutes later he heard the door open again and craned his neck thinking he would find Y/N looking around embarrassed because she forgot something, but he instead saw a tired tawny skinned woman walking in.
"Hey Rooster, just came in to see how you were feeling after pulling that reckless as-. Who's the adorable little lady?"
"Hey Phoenix. Just my niece. Mom had something come up and left me to babysit."
"I'm not a baby, I turned 5 years old today! You know that Uncle Rooster!" Jade quipped.
"Well, sheesh, time flies. I thought your were just 2!" Rooster joked letting out a belly laugh.
"Well you must be the big 5 year old named Jade that your mom told me soooo much about!" Phoenix concluded.
"You're Phoenix? Or do you like Natasha better? My mommy said she wanted me to meet you. She made it seem really important to you. You seem nice though so I guess that I don't see a problem with you and my mommy being together. But if you hurt my mommy I'll be very, very, VERY upset." emphasized Jade with the meanest face she could muster on her sweet and small face that still held some baby fat.
All Phoenix could see was the similarities between Y/N and Jade. It was almost uncanny and absolutely adorable.
"Don't you worry a minute. I plan to treat your mom with the upmost respect and care I can give. And don't think I won't treat you like the princess you are. I'm happy you trust me and I hope we can get closer in the future. And you can call me whatever you want." assured Phoenix and punctuated that statement with a light ruffle of the hair on her head.
Then, Jade went on about what she did while they were on the mission putting particular emphasis on her birthday and her prowess in her Pre-K class.
A few feet away Y/N stood in the doorway onlooking with a serene smile knowing that it would all be ok. They could work their way up to being a family.
........
"Phoenix is the coolest pilot nickname. I'm gonna call you that! Don't tell Mommy or Uncle Rooster I said that!" whispered Jade.
"I won't!" whispered Phoenix back and looking up with a prideful look.
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joshbruh10x · 3 years ago
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Random Headcanons for them SB characters
So i listed some headcanons I like to think happen, they are literally living rent free in my head and I just wanted to share em with somebody lmao.
*sharp inhales*
THESE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IM NOT SAYING THEY’RE CANON OK WE GOOD? O K GOOD
*exhales*
Oh btw these are in alphabetical order bc i say so :> Bonnie-acts like a literal vegetarian, eats a bunch of carrots bc he a bunny
-really likes his bowling attraction but likes Fazer Blast more
-will not hesitate to jump at you with full speed if you manage to fully piss him off
-does stand-up comedy at night in his bowling alley
-the dude’s body build is like thin but broad
-he likes to annoy Freddy using his epic s p e e d
-his program was a bit more upgraded to protect kids (bc kids and heavy bowling equipment do not end pretty)
Chica
-Yes she loves Pizza but will go crazy for small finger food or snacks like chips, fries, finger sandwhiches, etc.
-Pops off when she feels like it
-You thought Monty was the strongest? H A H NO ITS CHICA
-She has a gym and she’s practically the buffest out of all of them
-Literally the light of everyone’s day, without her, Roxy would’ve crashed a car at a child or Monty would’ve started eating babies
-She has a built in ecometer to keep the place clean, but that also means she sometimes has to clean trash, by e a t I n g
DJMM
-loud when he wants to be
-his children are the little music men in the vents
-his bouncer mode will not hurt you, but will simply just fling you back to the elevato
r-loves the peace and quiet
-he doesn’t need to eat but Chica tried getting him to taste pizza atleast once or twice
Foxy
-does he even exist
-whatever anyways, foxy a very caring person despite his rash nature
-literally the third-or fourth wheel? Of Bonnie Monty and Freddy
-he doesn’t need love he got his booty
-his treasure get your mind out of the fucking gutters
-teams with sun and moon in the daycare theater
-it’s a hassle to keep his fur well groomed
Freddy
-YOOOO ITS BEAR DAD
-cannot stand any foul language within a 10 feet radius especially if its Gregory
-Best cook in the house/pizzaplex whoop whoop
-Will not hesitate to help anyone, you dropped your wallet near him? He will instantly rush to get it for you
-Despite being the main singer of the band, he sometimes lets the others lead-If he’s too tired, he will be in sleep mode until he’s well rested
-Are you feeling sad, like you wanna cry for no apparent reason at all? Too bad he’s on your way right now to hug you
-He dated Bonnie first before roping Monty to their side 
Gregory
-feral child all the way
-he knows who eli and cc is do not ask
-his legal name is now Gregory Fazbear
-Everyone acts like a specified guardian to him, Freddy his dad, Monty and Bonnie his cool uncles, Chica his aunt, Roxy and Vanessa his epic older sisters, sun/moon the protective babysitters
-he finally made a deal with the vent music men to stop attacking him in return of leading them back to DJMM
-Picked up cursing from Monty and adult jokes from Bonnie, Freddy is not impressed
Monty
-finally get to write headcanons bout the gator boi
-Nervous-ass wreck, when he first started as the bassist replacing Bonnie, he literally does not know what he’s doing leading him to cry and wreck his room on his first day
-man’s more upset replacing Bonnie than Bonnie actually is
-he knew Bonnie before replacing him
-HAHA GAY PANIC ATTACKS
-His cooking is literal rng, sometimes it comes out burnt to crisps, others, he makes fine ass cuisine
-He cannot control his tail, if it wags uncontrollably and hits you in the face you know it’s not his fault
-He wants control of the situation every single time, are we driving to mcdonald’s? Monty calls driver, unless it’s Freddy then he calls shotgun
-Amazing upper strength but he skipped leg day, yeah he can jump high but can he kick stuff as good as he can punch? I don’t think so
-Gator Uncle and Feral child causes mayhem
-When Freddy and Bonnie invited him to their relationship, my god was this gator soft as a LITERAL marshmallow on pillows
Moon
-your typical depressed angsty teen
-loves listening to soft lullabitic music
-has the same obsession of cleanliness with sun
-he likes bitter flavored foods, don’t ask how he can eat bc I don’t know either
-Despises Monty due to him babbling about everything and is disturbing the peace and quiet
-learned how to not scare Gregory for once
Roxy
-Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep
-Never let’s go of Chica when she’s in sight
-despite having a Feminine build, she is very strong-bangs her head when metal music starts playing
-Monty and Roxy are besties for life
-DID YOU JUST LOOK AT HER GF? She will glare at you the moment Chica leaves the room
-Anything that ruins her form, she will and I mean WILL cry about it, a nudge on her makeup? Frizzy hair? C R Y I N G ENSUES
-When Gregory took her eyes, she relied more on smell than sound, she has memorized about what everyone smells like, Freddy smells like cologne and fiber, Monty smells like fresh damp grass, Chica smelled like lavender and Pizza (most occasions trash), Foxy smells like the Caribbean and Bonnie smelt like vegetables or Bowling polish
-She was Foxy’s replacement, none of them minded, they get along
-Teases Monty each time Freddy or Bonnie is near, calls him Lover-Gator 
Sun
-my god who fed the animatronic sugar?
-Too hyperactive and is all around the place
-Gets along with Monty and his loud attitude-He is aware of Moon not liking Monty so Sun likes rubbing it in his face
-Another reason he gets along with the gator is Sweets, they both love sugar that Freddy found them sleeping in the daycare surrounded by cans of Fizzy faz and chocolate bars, animatronics can get food commas???
-ball of SUNshine aha get it
-Nothing gets in his way when he wants to play (yo that rhymed)
-Gregory finally warmed up to him
-Acts as the therapist of the Pizzaplex, very understanding and calm when he needs to be
-Vanessa is his top customer to his therapy sessions, the girl needs more than a beer or two 
Vanessa
-after getting saved by Gregory and the gang, she vowed to keep Gregory safe
-Chocoholic, Coffeeholic, Alcoholic (but not so much alcohol she get’s drunk, that’s a rare occurance when she does a full day shift)
-Less strict to the animatronics but she does glare at them when they try to do something stupid (cough cough Bonnie and Gregory)
-As I said, Sun is her therapist-She has access to everything on the Pizzaplex so she can be anywhere
-She also has her own apartment to stay at but she likes sleeping overnight at the pizzaplex, she has a warm couch, some blankets and coffee
-The animatronic she seems to warm up to the most is Chica 
Vanny
-not much to say about her
-sassy and aggressive, her most hated animatronic? Freddy
-brings a knife everywhere she goes
-devoted her life to burntrap like some husband or smth, looks like Bonnie isn’’t the only Rabbit simp in the Pizzaplex
-Vanny is now arrested and is broght to rehab to forget about Glitchtrap but it doesn’t seem to be working lmao 
William (this is just for fun)
-LITERAL OLD MAN WHO WON’T STAY IN HIS RETIREMENT HOME
-SOMEONE GET MIKE HERE HIS DAD WONT STFU
-he always comes back-his weak frail body is now even weaker because of Blob
-when will he die, goddamit guys, use ice or smth, fire is obviously not working, IM LOOKING AT YOU THREE HENRY, MIKE AND GREGORY
Ok wow that was a lot, so uhh yea enjoy this stupid brain rot
Atleast im not the only one suffering
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jackrrabbit · 4 years ago
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🤍 Haikyuu WIP excerpts
preview post for hq because recently i showed sara a list of my works in progress and she laughed at me and then made a dn joke like this is 2015 or something. we got:
🤍 communal property /// ushijima x f!reader x tendou 🤍 sunshower /// atsumu x f!reader x osamu 🤍 corporate ethics /// kuroo x f!reader
anyway these are all terrible first drafts and i'm not sorry. however i am very very into these pieces and if you're interested in seeing them finished, you should tell me fr fr
🤍 communal property /// Ushijima x f!Reader x Tendou
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Summary: Tendou shares everything with Ushijima—his food, his dorm room, even the AVs he likes. Why not his girlfriend, too?
Tags/warnings: poly relationship in progress (only you and Tendou are dating at this point), mild suggestiveness ??, s*ze k*nk
Status: 10k words written (holy fuck lol) out of ~11k total? this bitch better get finished is2g
After the match, your voice is hoarse from screaming but you still manage to yell congratulations for your boyfriend when you meet him and Ushijima outside the locker room in the stadium. You’re pumped on the adrenaline of the game, so you don’t even protest like you usually would when Tendou picks you up in the middle of your hug and lifts you off the ground effortlessly. “How was I? Awesome, right? I told you we would beat them!”
“You did, you so did—“ Even though your throat hurts, you can’t help gushing about every rally, every soul-crushing block, every impossible spike. “—and then the guy on the left thought he was clear to shoot it but you just—“ You throw your arms in the air and mime hitting the ball down like a blocker. “Wha-bam!—and the look on his face! I thought he was going to punch you!”
Tendou laughs and lays a sloppy kiss on your cheek, just as thrilled as you are by the win. “You really liked it that much? I thought you weren’t into sports.”
“I loved it! You were so cool! I can’t believe I’m dating someone so cool!” You wrap your legs around his back and hug his face close to yours, reveling in the fact that this weirdo belongs to you wholly and entirely, that you get to have him to yourself (well, other than his roommate). “And I’m not into sports, I’m into you.”
Tendou smiles in a way that makes the sides of his eyes crinkle up and little red patches bloom over his cheeks, a look that says, I like you so much (Y/N), I like you I like you I like you, except he’s probably trying not to be mushy like that since Ushijima is standing off to the side.
You feel a little bad for ignoring him (no one likes being the third wheel, even if he never shows signs of caring) so when Tendou sets you down you turn to Ushijima. “And you! Holy shit, Tendou said you were good, but I didn’t know you were that good. The ball when you hit it was super loud—honestly, how are your hands okay? If I hit it that hard I’d probably break something.”
“My hands are fine…this is normal for me.”
But just because you’ve got them here in front of you and you’re still pumped from the exhilaration of the win, you can’t help grabbing Ushijima’s hand and flipping it palm-up to inspect. True to his word, there’s no redness, just the calluses he’s built up on his long fingers. “Wow.”
“You don’t need to worry about Wakatoshi,” Tendou tells you, grinning and then making a face. “He’s a monster, he can handle it.”
“No kidding. You’re both monsters.” You put the base of your palm up against Ushijima’s to gauge the size of his hand against yours, and without prompting Tendou grabs your other hand to press against his own. Tendou’s fingers are a bit longer, but Ushijima’s are…thicker, more solid. Your hands look like a little kid’s in comparison. “Can I be honest? Half the time I was thinking I actually feel bad for the other team. If I had to take on both of you at the same time, I’d probably cry.”
You’re (mostly) joking, but it’s still a complete shock when you see the side of Ushijima’s mouth curl up a tiny bit. You’ve known each other for months at this point, but you’ve never seen him smile until now. Half of you is wondering if this is some kind of optical illusion caused by the atmosphere and the dim light of the stadium cutting through the evening, but the other half of you enjoys it. You made Ushijima smile. You did that.
“Don’t sell yourself short, (Y/N).” Ushijima says, tipping his head to the side.
“Yeah!” Tendou chimes in, resting his chin on top of your head and folding his arms around your neck from his place behind you. “I’m sure you could take both of us. Right, Wakatoshi?”
So that’s probably a sign.
🤍 sunshower /// Atsumu x f!Reader x Osamu
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Summary: [Kitsune AU] You find an old Ō-Inari shrine in the woods that may not be as abandoned as it looks.
Tags/warnings: Shinto religion, this preview is biased toward tsumu oops, yearning/soft vibes
Status: 3.9k words written out of 5–6k? total
Atsumu was the one who found you.
That’s how he likes to talk about it, that he found you, like you’d still be wandering around lost in the woods if it weren’t for him. Osamu thinks you would have found your way back home eventually but Atsumu likes it better this way, this framing that makes it seem like they saved you.
It’s hard for him to tell time linearly the way humans do but you mention once that you’ve known them for a year and that seems to fit. It’s spring now, almost barely tipping into summer, and it was spring when Atsumu found you. He remembers because of the way it was raining: light and tender, a summer rain early in the season, each little drop tapping off a leaf and then rolling into the forest bed to be eaten up by the grass and the soil.
Atsumu likes the rain, likes the sweet earthy smell it makes and the way the plants look so lush and green and alive, like they’d bleed if he sunk his teeth into them. He was out in the woods because of the rain ('Samu was in the shrine, as usual, attempting to set buckets under the millions of holes in the roof so the rainwater wouldn’t pool and rot through the wood underneath). But Atsumu was half asleep in a tree when he heard you crashing through the undergrowth, tripping over ferns and snapping every twig in your path (thought ya might be a bear, he tells you later, that’s how loud ya were) but he wouldn’t really have woken up if he hadn’t heard you singing.
(The odd thing is, you weren’t actually singing. You remember that day as vividly as they do: the warm, humid air making your skin feel sticky under your yellow raincoat; the tiny raindrops filtering through the canopy and kissing your cheeks; the ink feathering out on the damp xerox of the old map you found in your great-aunt’s attic so you could barely make out the “X” that was supposed to mark the location of the lost Inari shrine… You were cursing how stupid you’d been to go on a wild goose chase into the mountains with no cell service and no marked trail to look for a shrine that no one had seen in decades. You definitely weren’t singing.)
But Atsumu remembers it differently. No matter how many times you explain that you were just talking to yourself, when he replays the sound of your voice back then (reaching and lilting and falling, the way the birds talk to each other in the early morning, except the music of it was poured into syllables and words), it sounds like you’re singing. He wasn’t sure at first, hadn’t heard a voice that wasn’t Osamu’s in so many years that he gets tired counting them, but then he saw you push into view from between two bushes and he thought, a human!
A girl, too—it was hard to say at first because you were wearing that weird, slick jacket of yours, so bright yellow it was like an oversized flower blooming out of the grass, but then you tilted your head up to feel the rain on your face and the hood fell down and he knew. Not just a human, a girl! Atsumu wanted to yell for Osamu, make him come and confirm that there was a person wandering around not a mile from the shrine. A real person! Singing and smiling and wiping the rain off her cheeks (does that mean you like the rain, just like he does? did you come out to feel it too?) But he also wanted to surprise Osamu so he hid his tails and his ears and came down from the tree and asked if you had lost your way in the forest, since you were so far from any path…
When you think back on this yourself you’re amazed that you just went with him: a strange boy (man?) wearing a fox mask and traditional Shinto priest robes, which were somehow pristine white and red despite him having appeared from nowhere in the middle of a dense forest, who told you he had no idea what direction the village was but he could take you to the Inari shrine you’d been searching for…well. Maybe you were too surprised to be wary, or maybe you were just exhausted and lost. But you like to think you had a sense of it even then, the irrational belief that the boy in the woods was not just a boy in the woods.
Atsumu thinks you knew. Humans always understand, even when they try not to… He remembers, he took your hand that day in the forest and you saw that the claws on his fingers were too long to be human, and you said nothing because on some level you already felt it. Your skin was cool then, smooth and damp from the rain; he wanted to stop, run his hands up your arms, touch the places on your face where your mouth had been turned up at the corners and press his fingers into your cheeks.
🤍 corporate ethics /// Kuroo x f!Reader
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Summary: [Office AU] The new junior marketing associate just happens to be Kuroo’s favorite camgirl, and he’s having trouble keeping his hands to himself.
Tags/Warnings: boss/employee, businessman!Kuroo as a reformed player, camgirl reader, this excerpt has a lil bit of 18+ content 👀
Status: 1.2k words written out of 4k? words total
Kuroo doesn’t watch porn.
It’s not, like, a moral principle or something. He has nothing against pornography. As far as he knows, it’s perfectly normal for single men. He just doesn’t like it…unless it’s you.
When he was in school it was easy. Being a teenager meant being so flooded with hormones that a warm breeze could get him up, and the adrenaline rush of winning a game was better than any big-titted porn actress faking moans into a shit-quality boom mic. Sure, he watched porn back then (what teenage boy didn’t?), but it was more out of curiosity than necessity. It was all kind of a mystery at that point, the way it can only be when you’re a clueless virgin and you and all your friends are too busy practicing for the next game to get girls.
Somehow Bokuto was the first one in their friend group to lose his virginity, and the memory of the dumbass self-consciously describing the experience has been lodged in Kuroo’s brain for the 10+ years since. “It was…I don’t know. She smelled good. You know how girls always smell good?” Bokuto’s hands twitched and his face was pink. “It’s just really…soft.”
Soft was right, Kuroo would reflect when he got laid for the first time a few months later. Soft, warm, wet. Sex was awkward at first, but before he knew it it was more natural than breathing.
It didn’t change much after high school, either. He didn’t get into volleyball for the groupies, but they didn’t hurt. There were girls when he played for his college team, more girls when he joined a business frat, so many girls he couldn’t keep track…they blurred together after a while. It didn’t take effort. You don’t need game when you’re 6’2 and you’re in the gym 40 hours a week, and you definitely don’t need porn.
So he never got into it. Now that he’s promoting volleyball instead of playing, things are more complicated. Kuroo’s never been the type who expects things to fall in his lap, but there are so many rules when it comes to dating in the real world. Good morning texts, anniversaries, flowers, parents. It’s exhausting. One time—seriously, just one time—Kuroo misses his girlfriend’s birthday to go watch a Jackals game, and the next time he sees her she throws her drink on him in public and keys his car. After that, Kuroo decides that until he’s ready to settle down there will be no more girlfriends. Which means no more reliable sex. Which means resorting to porn.
Which means you.
You, batting your eyelashes at the camera and biting the side of your lip. You, purring and mewing like a kitten. You, lying back on your pretty pink bedsheets in your pretty pink lingerie, sliding your hands between your legs. It takes Kuroo a full month to decide to pay for access to your website (Kenma’s unsolicited recommendation) but it takes less than five minutes for him to upgrade access to premium. You look like a wet dream—no, you look like the centerfold of every dirty magazine Kuroo managed to get his hands on when he was younger. Pristine and alluring and so deliciously out of reach.
And you make it so simple. No delicate emotional games with rules Kuroo never bothered to learn. No pretending to care how your day was. You untie the little bows on the side of your panties and lick your fingers and Kuroo just has to take his dick out and watch you. Getting off hasn’t been this easy for him since college. You’re a camgirl, you exist on his computer screen, and that’s how he likes it.
Which makes it a lot more awkward when Kuroo finds out that the only woman he’s gotten off to in the past…year, maybe?…somehow just got hired in JVA’s sports promotion department as his junior associate.
Your prim work blouse is buttoned up to the collar and your makeup is different, but he knows it’s you. You have to tell him your name twice because he’s too stunned to respond the first time, and even then he can’t summon up more of a response than a curt nod because his mouth tastes like dirt.
You smile a little awkwardly at his cool reception, and the hand you’d extended out to shake swings back down to your side. “Um, the guy at HR said he sent up my info yesterday…I’ll be working directly underneath you?”
Directly underneath me. Kuroo is taking a sip of his coffee when you say this. He doesn’t spit it out, but it’s close.
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leahseclipse · 4 years ago
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Unexpected visit
“Could you do a one-shot about Spencer and y/n aka his secret long term gf. They have a baby together and Spencer hasn't told the team for security reasons and one day y/n passes by the BAU when returming from a baby check up or smth and she goes to see him (with the baby), completely forgetting that they don't know anything and the baby (who can talk a little) calls him dada in front of everyone and the team is just left in shock. And just pure chaos ensues (aka everyone loving the baby genius)”
Requested by: @enchantedthoughts​
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Category: Fluff
Warnings: None that I can think of, just cute dad!spencer
Summary: Spencer and his girlfriend had a child together that stayed a secret for security reasons; but when the reader happens to go to the bureau one day, the visit, supposed to be casual, turns into a surprising revelation that no one expected.
Word count: 1.8 k 
A/N: AAAAA TYSM- It’s like, my very very first request, and I was so excited the day I went into my inbox to see that ;;;;;;;- you have no idea how happy u made me by sending me a request- I hope that you'll like it,, I currently don’t have a child and never took care of one, so excuse me for the mistakes I've did for the behaviour and stuff,,,
(The fic hasn't been checked over so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes.)
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When their daughter was born, they didn’t quite expect what had followed next. It was really difficult, but, the only complication that was to be taken into account was to not let anything slip out about her.
As much as Spencer wanted to, he couldn’t mention her at work, after both him and y/n had discussed the possible risks. Of course, the possibility of them occurring are not frequent, but not impossible as Spencer insisted during the chat they’ve had.
He had thought that it would be better to keep her as a secret for security reasons after witnessing what had happened around him; whether with people he was close with, or people he’d encounter with during cases, or at work.
On y/n’s side, she only happened to be working part-time at a small café, she’d mainly take orders and eventually clean, but she wasn’t very close with them, and had her daughter before she began working there, so whether she had let them know or not, nothing much would have changed.
Even though her job wasn’t as dangerous and totally not the same as Spencer’s, it also was preferable not to say anything else, she just decided not to inform her colleagues either.
At first, keeping the secret wasn’t as easy as they’d thought, but the only thing that they both wanted was to keep her safe, and it if meant that they couldn’t share it, especially for Spencer, as his team was as his family, they had to do with it, their child’s safety would go first.
They had managed to keep up with both their works and personal lives; Spencer would often have to take calls where no one could hear nor see him so he could see her.
It really was surprising to see him with a different phone, his old phone wasn’t the one to be usually seen, but he couldn’t resist to see her.
Spencer happened to be less at home than y/n, so video calls were a solution to be with her, in a way.
After that, the sudden change eventually had to be explained, as he wasn’t the kind to even touch a computer usually.
They had wished that the phone would be the only explanation to do, but Spencer’s work had decided otherwise.
Spencer didn’t seem to find excuses that would be seen as serious, or even understandable when the time to step aside for having time with his family when she was born had come.
It had eventually went well, really. More than expected.
Even if he couldn’t be home as he wanted to after he had to go back to work full-time, he really appreciated the little time he’d have with them.
He really didn’t expect all of this to happen at all just a few years ago, but he couldn’t wish for better now.
Both appreciated being with their daughter everyday, they’d get to discover more and more about her and enjoyed every moment they’d spend all together.
She had even begun talking a bit, sometimes some blabbering, or even fairly understandable words; like ‘dada’ or ‘mama’ recently, along with many others, including some invented ones.
They have been amazed by the number of stuff she’d learn each day, and couldn’t wait to see more.
Unfortunately, it’d have to wait.
She had a couple of appointments scheduled to see how she was doing, and happened to have one today, so ‘admiration time’ would have to wait.
Luckily, the appointment was on one of y/n’s days off, which could be attended without having to look for someone to cover her shift, or for Spencer to excuse himself if he didn’t happen to be on a case.
As expected, it didn’t take much time and she wasn’t fuzzy or anything, she was really calm for once, it really wasn’t surprising. She was usually calm in general and wouldn’t cause much problems.
But now that the appointment was done, she didn’t happen to have much on her schedule, and she could either go home or take a walk with her.
The weather seemed nice...ish, but she wasn’t so sure. She could, perhaps...pretend that Spencer forgot something, and go to his work?
That seemed like a good idea, and totally what she wanted to do.
Y/N had first decided to make a quick trip back to the apartment to catch some stuff she’d probably need, before heading to the car towards the bureau, it didn’t take much, just about twenty minutes, and plus, her daughter happened to be a bit sleepy, which was quite nice instead of having her cry the whole ride.
She had never come here at all, only walked by it or saw it when she happened to drive by, but never had she actually stepped inside.
She didn’t even know where to go, and even find where the hell Spencer could be, the only information she’d had was that he could possibly be at the 6th floor, somewhere in a room with desks.
Wow, very helpful.
The desks are literally EVERYWHERE.
She didn’t know what any of them looked like, she had only heard from them, and if Spencer showed her pictures of them, that must have been a while ago, because she barely remembers a single one.
That’s when she began to ask herself what the hell she was doing here.
How was she going to do, if literally, no one knew her, and, now that she realises, isn’t really supposed to be here.
She probably...got herself into a mess. Probably.
Y/N had swore that the universe was against her, because just when she had stepped in the ‘room with desks’, a couple of voices could be heard from the small staircase leading to a corridor.
“Y/N?” A familiar voice asked, which seemed a bit...nervous as well.
She tried her best not to let too much emotions show on her face, as she was literally around at least...eight profilers.
“Dada!” The child that she held in her arms yelled, as she pointed at Spencer.
Definitely screwed.
It’s over.
“Did that child just call him dad, or did I misheard it?” A blonde woman -probably JJ- asked, looking around as if she looked for approbation.
“You didn’t misheard it.” They all said.
In the meantime, y/n and Spencer just looked in the void, definitely realising that the secret they had tried to keep had just exposed them.
They wouldn’t have thought once that their own child would expose them.
“I think we may own everyone here an explanation, no?” Y/N hesitantly asked, looking at Spencer as if he could make the situation less worse than it already was.
“...we do.” Spencer answered, walking up to where his girlfriend was.
“For how long have you been hiding this beautiful girl and that cutie…?”
“Uh...I’ve been with her for...almost four years, and she’s going to be two soon.” Spencer answered, looking at Penelope. “You guys are really worrying me, is something wrong?”
“No, it’s just that...we’re, really, really, surprised. Especially for the child.”
“Yeah, it uh...mainly was for security reasons, for both of them. It if wasn’t for that, you guys would have already known.”
“At least uh...you know me, and I know you guys.” Y/N said, trying to break the silence.
“It’s really wow...she has Spence’s eyes too.” JJ told, a small smile on her face.
“She’s way too cute, no wonder why she’s so beautiful, look at her parents.” Penelope gestured at the couple.
“You really did hide them from us for a while.” One of the men said, as y/n just looked in confusion. “Oh, I’m uh, Matt.”
“Y/N. It’s uh…a bit overwhelming, there’s a lot of people I don’t know. I know names, but not which name to put on who’s face.
“It wasn’t...planned.” Spencer joined, pulling her close to reassure her.
"It's ok, don't worry. It won't change anything, we love you as much as we loved you before, we're happy to know that everything is going well with your small family."
"Yeah, I was aware of that, I've heard a lot of good stuff about everyone, I was just afraid. It's been a while since we got together, and had her, so it sure was surprising to know that your genius had a small family without anyone knowing." Y/N said, looking down at the small girl in her arms.
"It sure wasn't easy. I've had to find an excuse for whatever family member when I needed to take care of her. At least, I don't have to create an excuse about an imaginary aunt anymore." Spencer admitted.
"And also, if uh…we do have another one, you won't have to find a super difficult excuse, that time."
"Oh, yeah...that."
"That, yeah. I've had her before I began working, so I didn't have explanations to do. Now uh...am I supposed to let them know?"
"If you want to. It's already too late here. Our own child exposed us, even, if it was a bit too late to get out of that mess from the moment everyone saw her. Hm?"
"A...bit too late. But, as she was great today, we can excuse her."
"Mhm. We can." Spencer agreed, as he looked at the people around along with y/n.
"So, everything's good?" Y/N asked.
"Of course! We're not upset or anything, it was just surprising at first. But now that I know about you two, you don't imagine the number of gifts and attention you're about to get." Penelope clearly did everyone else know that she wouldn't take her attention off them for a while.
"I can imagine. She's going to have a lot of aunts and uncles now that she has everyone here, she's going to be so spoiled." Y/N joked.
"You have no idea." A black haired woman said, she probably was Emily.
"Do you have time right now? You could stay for a bit, we don't have much to do." Spencer asked Y/N, to which she was quick to answer by nodding.
"Yeah, I am. Plus, after that, I don't think that I would get to go home before answering a million questions." Y/N said, trying to not look more stressed that she already was.
"Yay! We get to spend more with them!" Garcia said, visibly excited at the idea.
Even though nothing of that was planned to happen for a while, it went well overall. Of course, they would have preferred to wait a bit more, but they can't do much now.
The positive point is that she'll get to talk about her freely now, especially with his co-workers now that they know.
They've all been surprised, but very welcoming. They all reassured her and she really liked their presence.
Y/N really knew what Spencer meant when he considered them as family, they really were as a real one, and now, she gets to be a part of it along with their daughter.
The unexpected visit turned out to be a surprising revelation, that again, surprisingly turned out into a joyful mess.
---
Tags: @homoose ;
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killalluchihas · 2 years ago
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good vibes/bad juju - 51
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While on a mission overseas, Gojo gets K-O'd by an unknown person. Within a week, every sorcerer in Japan has heard about it. (A JJK OC story - Rated M, Graphic Violence)
[Chapter One] [Ao3 link] [Previous] [Next]
—/—/—/—
chapter fifty-one: a gentle simmer it's actually quite comfortable content warning: mentions of past graphic violence
—/— [Wednesday, 6:30 AM EST] —/—
“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help,” he says, apologetic but firm through the speaker. He isn’t anything less than Wendy expects, steady and stoic no matter the circumstances. “But even if I had the details, I wouldn’t be able to share them.”
Wendy drums her nails against the sink countertop, unable to tamp down on her nervousness. “I know,” she sighs, setting her phone down. “And it’s useless to worry about it, I can’t do anything anyway.”
Nanami is quiet on the other end for a while, and Wendy fills the time by reluctantly slapping on some face cream and silently willing the red bump on her cheek to not become acne. It’s definitely just a freckle.
“Not everything we do must be practical,” Nanami says eventually. “But even so—worrying about Yoshi is certainly useful, because I doubt she remembers to worry for herself.”
There is an unmistakable ache in her chest as Wendy thinks about that. “Of course she doesn’t,” she scoffs, mustering a smile as she peers at her reflection. No one can see her right now, but there’s always someone to convince. “Her memory’s crap, you know that,” she jokes, though it lands flat.
“…I also think you don’t worry for yourself very much,” Nanami continues softly. “How are you doing, Wendy?”
“Me?” This time Wendy laughs for real, scooping up her phone as she tiptoes into her mother’s kitchen. Aunt Mari is a great cook, but Wendy was beginning to feel like a leech, so she’s staying with her mom for now. “Ah, c’mon on, there’s nothing to say from my end. Everything’s fine over here.”
“But are you alright?” he asks. “You went through a lot in Germany. Has the bruising gotten any better?”
Wendy sighs. Of course he’s fretting over a few bruises.
Judging by how colorful she is now, the bruises are healing, but it’s not a pretty process. The worst one is an enormous greenish-purple blotch on her thigh. And it wasn’t even due to a curse or a person attacking her—when Wendy yanked Nanami out of the inn and mistakenly teleported them into a janitor’s closet, he’d fallen on top of her, and rammed his knee against her leg. It was such a stupid way to get injured, but Wendy can’t complain when other civilians came out of that attack missing a few limbs.
Wendy can’t complain about anything, not when she’s always been so lucky.
“Everything’s healing,” she answers simply.
“I hope it hasn’t caused any problems for you…”
She hums, eyeing the finger marks wrapped over her forearm before pulling the sleeve back down. “It looks bad, but most people out here know to mind their business.” The only ones that would notice and be upset about it are Danica and Mariko, so she’s kept to wearing long-sleeved shirts around them. To steer away from that topic, Wendy adds, “I’m kinda anemic anyway! I have, uh, low iron—any bump will leave a bruise. There’s nothing to do except wait for them to fade. Unless you want to send me a gift basket,” she suggests slyly. “I wouldn’t say no to another fruit bouquet.”
“…Another one? Who’s sending you fruit bouquets?”
“Gojo,” she tattles at once. Wendy smirks to herself as she rummages through the fridge for leftovers. “He didn’t tell you, huh? He visited me on Monday and made Aunt Mari cry,” she informs Nanami. “That’s Yoshi’s mom. He sent a giant arrangement of fruit and chocolate afterwards!”
“That’s… I’m sorry about him,” he sighs, sounding like he’s just aged ten years from the mention of the strongest sorcerer. Wendy hums, smothering down her amusement. “Is she alright?”
“Oh, she’s fine. Mari just got overwhelmed. Gojo was probably expecting someone more like Yoshi.” Stretching onto her tiptoes, Wendy sets a plate of food in the microwave to heat it, huffing. “Where the hell is the step stool?” she gripes, looking around the empty kitchen.
“It’s very early for you, isn’t it?” Nanami comments. “What do you need a step stool for?”
She huffs again. “Well it’s either a step stool or I start climbing the countertops. I’m trying to eat.” Then an idea occurs to her. Wendy presses the phone to her ear, listening to the background noises from Nanami’s end. “And it’s late for you, right? Still working?”
“No, I got home a few minutes before you called.”
Wendy smiles. “How’s your night going? Have you eaten dinner yet?” she asks. There’s no step stool to be found, and her mom is still asleep, so Wendy ends up sitting up on the linoleum counter to look at the microwave properly.
There’s shuffling noises from his end, squeaks and thumps that might be from his own kitchen. “I’m preparing that now. Um. Today was slow for me.” He pauses again. A drawer slides shut, and cutlery clinks against itself. He continues frankly, “There’s nothing about my work that I’d enjoy discussing right now.”
“Thennn tell me about something else,” Wendy coaxes him. “I’m eating leftover falafel for breakfast. What about you?”
“I…” It isn’t the first time she’s caught him off-guard, but it never fails to amuse her. “Soba noodles. It’s quick.”
Wendy hums encouragingly. “Turn on your camera.”
“What? Why?”
“So I can see what you’re cooking,” she says innocently. “Here, I’ll do it.”
“Wait—”
She hangs up and immediately starts a video chat. It rings twice, and then the call connects with a blurry image of a brightly-lit ceiling. The lighting is warm and buttery, and a crystalline lampshade casts a sharp reflection into the camera lens. Wendy thinks his light fixture probably costs more than half the appliances in Danica Matherson’s kitchen, but all she says is, “You have to aim the camera at yourself, Nanami.”
“I know that,” he says in a harried voice, still out of frame. Wendy hops down from the counter with her plate, and props up her phone on the kitchen table. “I don’t think I can cook and hold the phone, so, um…”
The screen goes dark and then light again, and Nanami finally appears, balancing the phone somewhere on his kitchen counter in front of a stovetop. “Does this work?” he asks.
“There you are,” she beams, taking in the silly sight. Half of his face is cut off when he stands upright, but she can see his torso, and the two buttons undone on his collared shirt. The pot clangs noisily against the grating on the stovetop as he pokes at it, and then Nanami hunches over to peer at his phone. Oh god, it’s the best view Wendy’s had all week.
“Hello,” he says shortly. His hair is a bit messed up, tangled over his forehead. “Good morning?”
Oh, she loves how shy he can get with her. “Mm. Good evening,” Wendy replies softly. “You look good.”
Nanami blinks twice, brow furrowed ever so slightly. It’s easier to see the emotion on his face without those glasses on. “Thank you.” He retreats from the phone and glues his attention to the soba noodle pot. “You’re wearing long sleeves in summer,” he adds neutrally.
Her delight in the moment evaporates like dew in midday, but Wendy drags up her cheer anyway, determined. “Should I take off my clothes so you can get a good look at me?” she fires back, basking in the startled expression that briefly crosses his face. The video is a little grainy, but the way his hand tightens around the cooking pot handle, the sharp exhale of breath as his shoulders lower—Wendy enjoys every second of it. He’s lovely.
“You’re on the other side of the world,” Nanami mumbles, shaking his head in disapproval. “Please take this seriously, Wendy.”
Thinking she’s teased him enough, Wendy doesn’t tell him that she was perfectly serious about stripping for his perusal. “I don’t want to think about Germany,” she says instead. “So—tell me about your soba dinner. I’m not a fan of buckwheat, I like eggy noodles and pastas.”
Nanami tosses her an exasperated look, but replies, “These are wheat flour, actually.”
He’s such a dork, and she adores it more and more each time. “Okay then, Chef Nanami, what else is on the menu? Please tell me you don’t eat unseasoned wheat flour noodles.”
Nanami actually stops stirring to look directly at the screen again. “I would rather starve,” he deadpans. Then he picks up a small condiment bowl to show her. “No, first of all I already have ginger and soy sauce here to put in…”
Wendy grins again, and doesn’t stop grinning for the rest of the morning while Nanami talks about his evening with her. Her good finally disappears for good much later, when Yoshi finally gets around to messaging her about the attack at Jujutsu Tech.
—/— [Wednesday, 9:30 PM JST] —/—
Yoshi has to give them credit. After answering a few variations of ‘Are you okay?’ she isn’t hounded by the first year students for more information. Instead, Nobara and Yuji ordered food on her behalf at some point, and had it delivered to her door. It was a sweet gesture, until it became clear that Nobara bullied Gojo out of his credit card for it, and that they all intended to eat dinner with her.
It’s still nice of them, but Yoshi’s apartment isn’t very large—Gojo ends up without a seat at the table, so he’s just moping in the kitchen while Yoshi talks to the students about the bird lady.
“I don’t recognize any of the names,” Yoshi admits after she’s read them aloud from her phone. The bird lady’s benefactors are council members, and that’s all Yoshi knows. “Except that one ‘Kamo’ so I assume that’s a relative of the Kyoto student...” It’s a shame. Yoshi’s fond of the Kyoto student, and would’ve liked to know more about his weird blood technique. Truth be told, Noritoshi’s physic-bending arrows had still been on her mind when she attacked that tree curse.
“I’m surprised there’s no Zenins involved,” Nobara pipes up, wiping her hands on a napkin. From the kitchen, Yoshi can hear Gojo opening and closing the cabinets out of boredom. She feels like she should offer him food, but surely she doesn’t need to remind him. On the other hand, Yoshi hasn’t seen Gojo eat anything at all, and she was with him for the majority of the day.
“Just because they didn’t directly fund Mei doesn’t mean they aren’t involved,” Megumi points out cynically. “Maybe that’s why Naoya decided to visit, to watch it happen.”
“Nah,” Yoshi dismisses that easily. “I’m sure he didn’t know. He already lost half an ear to me, and I promised to take more if he did more.”
Yuji chokes on his drink, and the other two students bristle. “Sensei,” Yuji coughs out, “Remind me to never cross you.”
“Did you have to bite it off?” Megumi grimaces.
Yoshi grunts, crossing her arms. “He got the message, so yeah.”
Behind her, another cabinet swings shut noisily. “Just as a side note, the Zenin head doesn’t want the same things as his heir. But I’m not sure he’s on Team Kill Yoshi, though,” Gojo muses. She hears him crack open a can. “You’re running out of soda, by the way.”
Yoshi tries to turn her head to him, but stops halfway when it tugs on her bandage. That’s the one junk food item she actually bought for herself. “If you drink it all you need to replace it,” she complains, though it’s half-hearted. She never got the time to buy rum anyway.
“What team are the Zenins on, then?” Yuji wonders, slurping noodles.
“I think there’s some Zenins that wouldn’t mind getting their hands on Yoshi’s technique,” Gojo says, meandering back towards them. Her chair shifts forward as he leans against it. “Or just Yoshi.”
It takes a moment, but then his implication clicks into place. “Gross.” Yoshi frowns. “Let’s go back to talking about the ones that want me dead.”
Nobara pulls a face of disgust in solidarity. “Agreed.”
“Why do all these jujutsu sorcerers hate you anyway?” Yuuji asks, brow furrowed. “What’s so bad about seals and talismans?”
“Nothing,” Megumi answers before Yoshi can open her mouth. “We use all sorts of talismans at the school.”
Gojo continues lightly, “But Yoshi’s skills are at a much higher level than any other sorcerer’s.” He pats her cheek suddenly, making Yoshi flinch. “Who knows how many scribbles she can fit in her head?”
She slaps his hand away and returns to her meal. “It is what it is.”
“That’s dumb,” Nobara adds promptly. “It’s no different from having a strong cursed technique. If they killed anyone with a power they didn’t understand, we’d run out of sorcerers.”
The voice that speaks next is out of place. A ragged and low tone. “Oh, but they do understand it.”
Yoshi glances up, perplexed. Megumi and Nobara are both looking at their pink-haired classmate. He’s… grown a second mouth. Yuji sits up and promptly slaps himself in the face. Gojo snorts.
Before Yoshi can make sense of any of that, the back of Yuuji’s hand splits with two lines. Another mouth emerges from his skin, followed by a deep red eye. In a low and gravelly tone, it speaks one word.
“Kusumoto.”
It feels like a trickle of ice water down her back. Not the name, but the idea of who’s saying it. Yoshi pulls her gaze away from the hand-eye to look at Yuji instead.
“I’m trying to eat,” she tells him sternly. “Put that away.”
Yuji looks at her like she’s the one growing extra body parts, which is a little rude. “Uh, right…” He lifts up his hand, clearly having no idea of what to do about it. “Maybe…”
Just as Yuji raises a spoonful of fried rice, the eye and mouth melt back into his skin.
Nobara snorts. “Were you about to spoon-feed him?”
Yuji shrugs. (Yes, he definitely was.)
“My oh my,” Gojo sips on his soda, leaning between Yoshi and Megumi. “You’ve really done it now, Yosh. Even the King is smitten.”
“Ew,” Megumi grumbles, throwing Gojo an annoyed look.
Yoshi recoils a bit. “I hope he’s on Team Kill Yoshi,” she mutters.
“I’m sorry about him,” Yuji blurts out. “I can hear him in my head sometimes, but he usually doesn’t just come out like that!"
He’s such a strange kid. Yoshi hums. “If all he does is eavesdrop and interrupt conversations, that’s fine by me.” Just being able to survive after eating a cursed object is an incredible feat. She doesn’t expect Yuji to suppress a legendary demon curse thing—or whatever it is that they classify Sukuna as—indefinitely. Sooner or later, any vessel will reach its breaking point.
“Is he still eavesdropping?” Nobara asks, eyes narrowed. “Can you tell?”
Yuji grimaces. “It’s like he’s—awake, I guess.”
“Kusumoto…” Megumi repeats the name, curious, but then he falls silent instead of asking about it.
I must really look like shit, Yoshi concludes. Otherwise Megumi would be more pissed off, and she’d have no peace at all tonight.
“Wait,” Nobara exclaims, looking between the boys. “What’s with those dumb faces? You guys don’t know about the Kusumotos? Like at all?”
“No,” Megumi’s frown deepens. “Why do you know it?”
“My grandmother,” she says bluntly. “It’s one of her rants, she’s never liked the jujutsu council. The Kusumoto school was destroyed, and the council let it happen because they didn’t like their practices. They were extremists or something...” Nobara glances at Yoshi, askance, and then begins to explain.
Yoshi lets her speak, and isn’t surprised when Nobara repeats the same vague story that most jujutsu sorcers seem to know. The madman, the slaughtered, and the inaction of the council.
“...All that happened way before any of us were born, so I didn’t think Yoshi had any connection to it,” the girl concludes. “Buuut I guess that’s wrong. Unless the King of Curses just woke up to spout some spooky nonsense at us.”
Yuji grunts, rubbing his temple. “I wish.”
Yoshi wishes she could finish her noodles instead of dealing with this, but that would be unfair. Today wasn’t just hard for her, but for the students too.
“The Kusumotos were founded in the Heian period. That’s why that guy recognized it,” Yoshi begins, rolling the stiffness out of her shoulders. “The actual Kusumoto scholars died in that massacre, but the jujutsu council didn’t oversee the clean up. You're missing the fact that there were survivors. They just weren’t sorcerers.”
Megumi and Nobara exchange puzzled looks, but Yuji catches on. “I guess it’d be your mom, right? You said she taught you.”
Yoshi pauses, resisting the urge to frown. She genuinely doesn’t recall telling him that. “Yes,” she confirms. "My mom isn't a sorcerer, she just has enough cursed energy to see curses."
“They raised kids in the temple?” Megumi asks sharply.
“I thought the Kusumotos weren’t a clan,” Nobara says, baffled. “The jujutsu order keeps an eye on clan kids.”
“They weren’t,” Yoshi agrees tiredly. “The Kusumotos didn’t need successors with the same blood, just people that could learn. A community that would sustain itself. They registered as a group home and took in foster kids.”
It was a fluke, really. Sheer luck. Mariko was so young at the time of the massacre, she hadn't shown any signs of cursed energy yet. The police that handled the aftermath sent her off to a normal hospital, and no one ever came looking for her.
“Civilian kids?” Megumi balks. “That’s forbidden, the jujutsu order—”
“Has no jurisdiction over entities outside the order,” Gojo speaks over him, patting Megumi’s head roughly. “And the Kusumoto school never overstepped by letting non-sorcerers leave with jujutsu knowledge.”
“Oh,” Yuji says lowly. “So when people say it was a cult…”
“It was a cult,” Yoshi repeats emphatically. “They did whatever they wanted. The talismans I make are based on their sutras, collated over hundreds of years by creeps that studied a lot of weird and nasty shit just because they could.” She gestures back at Yuji apologetically, and concludes, “Including Ryoumen Sukuna’s cursed techniques. Someone in the fifteenth or sixteenth century was a huge fan, I guess.”
And it’s revolting. Even now, turning inward to look for that knowledge makes Yoshi nauseous.
“Well,” Nobara huffs at last. “No wonder you freak out the grandpas so much. They really thought you all died off. Why’d your mom teach you all that nasty stuff?”
Yoshi eyes her. "We're not going to talk about my mom," she tells the girl evenly.
"But—!" Nobara catches herself. "Okay yeah, not our business..."
“So I didn’t imagine it,” Megumi says quietly. “Those cuts on your neck looked like the markings on Sukuna. Are they needed for that arrow thing you did?”
“Well—” Yoshi tries to speak.
“Holy shit,” Yuji gasps. “The fire thing was a Sukuna thing? He does fire shit?!”
“Yes,” Gojo answers, leaning against Yoshi’s chair again. Suddenly he’s eager to involve himself in this conversation. “Yoshi has sutras based on Heian-age Sukuna, when he was at full strength. How cool is that?”
“That’s insane,” Megumi corrects him flatly.
“No, it’s kinda cool too,” Nobara argues. “It’s fitting.”
Yuji scratches his head and admits, “I still don’t get how you make flaming arrows from a bunch of squiggly lines.”
This could’ve been over by now if Gojo weren’t here to goad them on. Yoshi shakes her head, pressing the heel of her palm against her eyes. “These marks aren’t even for the fire technique,” she groans, resisting the urge to scratch at the bandage. “They were to regenerate flesh after that stupid bird tried to fly through my guts.” And it would keep regenerating tissue indefinitely, which is why she needed to cut through the sutras to destroy it.
“That’s right,” Gojo hums behind her. He pulls on her arm and points, “The fire arrows actually come from the wrists!”
“Really? But there’s no tattoo,” Nobara disputes.
“That’s what you think,” Gojo jeers at her. “I can see them when they’re active.”
Before he can rile up poor Nobara any further, Yoshi slips her hand away from Gojo and quickly elaborates, “It’s under the skin. I got curious about unusual sutras as a teenager.” She looks down at her wrists, remembering the heat burning and healing and burning again. “I found out it’s not worth it.”
“As a teenager. You’ve had flaming arrows up your sleeve this whole time,” Gojo interrupts, like it’s only just dawning on him for some reason. “You never shot flaming arrows at me.”
She doesn’t know what to make of that. “Not worth it,” Yoshi repeats shortly.
Now he's offended. “I’m not worth a flaming arrow??”
“No,” she groans. “The collateral damage. I don’t want to cause a wildfire.”
Gojo rests his elbow on Megumi’s chair so he can see her face clearly. “You don’t want to cause a wildfire… again?” he guesses, eyes narrowed. “Did you burn down a forest in your rebellious teenage years?”
Of course he seems delighted by the idea of that. But Yoshi shouldn’t complain, it’s better than being faced with disgust. “No,” she answers with a sigh. “I used it at seventeen and fried the shit out of my arms.”
Nobara grimaces in sympathy. “Talismans really do come with brutal drawbacks…”
“Damn right they do.” At least Yoshi can say these students know the important part, if nothing else. She can tolerate their fascination, but she’s grateful they aren’t too interested in learning the exact things she’s learned.
“…Why did he kill everyone?” Megumi asks at last. “Why did that crazy scholar kill all the sorcerers but teach a kid that couldn’t use sorcery?”
Yoshi leans back again, trying not to grimace. She expected this question. That’s the real scoop after all—the truth of the Kusumotos is in their teachings.
“He got overzealous, and taught everyone,” Yoshi answers plainly. “He taught everyone equally, the original way that sutras were taught among the Kusomotos for hundreds of years.”
Megumi’s eyes narrow in thought. “So it overwhelmed them. Like when you taught the tree curse with a seal of Unlimited Void?”
Ah, this kid. He's so quick to put together the pieces. But that painted seal is a far weaker facsimile of what the Kusumoto school traditionally did. Paint is superficial, and even tattoos only go skin-deep. Yoshi has a few seals on her ribcage that need to be replaced because of her injuries, but the permanence of the Kusumoto talisman is unmatched.
“No.” She raises her hand again, and tosses the students an apologetic smile as she taps her temple harshly. “He inscribed his knowledge into wood from a camphor tree, and then hammered it into their heads.”
—/—/—/—
[Previous][Next]
A/N: Thank you to everyone still reading this story. I know it’s been a while, and it’s long as hell, but I hope to pick this back up and throw more chapters at you. Will we ever get to the baseball game? Lol your guess is as good as mine, Yoshi needs to shop for a new wardrobe first and who knows what else is brewing?
Spanish translations! pinche cuervo - fucking raven** Mei Mei actually uses blackbirds puta - bitch cabrón - bastard pendejo - asshole** It means a lot of things tbh Vete a la chingada - Go fuck yourself Doble hijueputa - Double motherfucker? Double song of a bitch? I think this is the Argentinian spelling/pronunciation, Yoshi was trying to branch out with this one.
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lucky-katebishop · 3 years ago
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I spent a month reading harry potter fanfics and here’s what I learned
So for the past three and a half weeks, I’ve been doing basically nothing but reading Harry Potter fanfics and now I kind of just want to talk about them. No one cares but future me will! I tend to get caught in obsessions fairly easily (for instance, two months ago was comic books and last month was video editing and then k dramas). I’m feeling like my Harry Potter obsession is fading which makes me really sad cause it was a fun ride. I went from Drarry to Hinny, time travel to alternate realities, obscuris Harry to Dark!Harry, MCU AUs to Doctor Who AUs. I must’ve read more than 50 fics.
I’ve learned that I hate Dumbledore
Snape makes for a great mentor but I will only like him with proper character development
also where did Snape being Draco’s godfather come from? I don’t think this was in the books? I’m not angry, just confused
I read a fic that was so sad that I was physically unable to finish reading it -- actually I read two of those, one of them was a DID fic and the other Voldemort adopted Harry
the Voldemort one is quite possibly the most tragic thing I have ever read and even though it’s been two weeks I still haven’t been able to recover -- I was only halfway finished too GOOD LORD
another fic I read that was so fucking depressing was a time loop situation where Harry literally couldn’t get out of and it ended tragically
obscuris Harry is interesting but I really only like the ones where Newt is actually involved but I couldn’t find any finished ones
I don’t like it when Harry’s appearance changes, it throws me for a loop
there was this one where Harry got sent back in time and his figure got disfigured and so he didn’t even appear like himself anymore
I just find it odd for Harry Potter not to look like Harry Potter, idk
I also have a headcanon that his hair is very curly rather than shaggy
I haven’t been able to find a fic where Harry goes back in time to the Marauders era and has the right amount of angst but the right amount of fluff
I’ve read some good ones where the Marauders travel to Harry’s time but like,,, it isn’t quite what I’m looking for? I’m gonna have to write it, aren’t I? 
this doesn’t happen with irondad fics, literally everything you’ve ever wanted you can find it there
I read one where Harry did go back in time but she (fem!Harry) didn’t really interact with her parents or the Marauders that much, she became friends with Regulus instead
Regulus should’ve been in Gryffindor
I’ve not only read fics where Draco has been a Ravenclaw, Slytherin, but also a Gryffindor. I haven’t found one where he’s in Hufflepuff
I’ve read fics where Harry’s in every single house - the Ravenclaw one might be my favorite so far, it had to do with him going to a different timeline where there’s another Harry and he’s a major dick
Hufflepuff Harry one was funny, but it got distressing cause Dumbledore didn’t trust him and tried to get him expelled
actually the Hufflepuff one made my heart hurt cause Harry was put in the body of a Harry who isn’t the boy who lived and barely spoke and was basically like an even more traumatized Neville
Slytherin Harry is everything to me and he should’ve been in Slytherin
Ravenclaw Draco is something that can be so personal
I’m tired of reading Year One fics, I get it, there’s a stone, let’s move on
Year Four fics are my favorite however, there was one (which is my favorite) where Harry’s a necromancer and in the graveyard scene he calls corpses from the graves alive to help him get out of there it was so cool
I am partial to Harry/Draco but Harry/Luna is cute
there was a Pokemon Harry/Luna one that’s adorable and I’ve read it twice already
I like when there’s a ton of lore involved
especially Hogwarts lessons - like ancient runes can fucking get it, I love runes fics
there was an MCU AU one where I read Harry didn’t have his magic anymore, not as potent as it was, but he did have ancient runes
LISTEN I tried to get into Dark!Harry but after that Voldemort adoption one I can’t do it anymore, I will start crying literally right now -- he just wants to be fucking useful! He just wants to be loved! Is that too much to fucking ask for? 
however Harry doing dark!magic but isn’t actually on the dark side is cool
Death Eater Spy Draco! It makes me distressed but also I am so here for it!
Jenkins if you’re out there I love you (if you get this reference I love you)
I read a ton of Avengers adopt Harry when he’s younger but I don’t care for younger Harry fics, I prefer when he’s a teenager and I don’t have to read the first few years at Hogwarts, it can get repetitive
Give me all the angst with Harry being a horcrux please, I’m living for the drama
Lily is not a fan favorite weirdly enough, when the Marauders are in fics she’s usually not there which is unfortunate because I just really want a good Harry/Lily bonding moment
one of the saddest fics I read was where harry, luna, hermione and neville find themselves in an alternate dimension where Lily and Remus are married and alive, James is a dick but has other kids, and every single person that had died in their world is alive
I don’t like it when there’s Ron bashing, he’s one of my favorites, but if I have to, I’ll read some of them
there was this Sherlock fic (listen, I went in fucking deep, it’s been a weird month) where fem!Harry is on the run from the Ministry because I don’t actually understand and Ron and everyone is out for blood for her
Eleventh Doctor/Harry is a pairing I was not aware of but I actually kind of love?
Master of Death Harry is fucking OP and I love him for that
mcu aus is something I never knew I needed
Holly Potter and the Midlife Crisis is fucking everything
So is On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads, I realized it was the same author when I read in the author notes that the author was going to some volcano convention thing and I was like this is way too niche for it to be a coincidence
I’ve read Tony is Harry’s dad, Loki is Harry’s dad, Harry is just weird friends with Thor, ones where Natasha is Harry’s aunt
listen everyone is related to this boy
I will not read a fic if it doesn’t involve Harry, he’s my boy, he’s my love, I care only about him and him only I’m so sorry
you know that meme where people say nobody’s favorite character is harry potter, the titular character? Well meet me! He’s my favorite!
in battle of hogwarts fics, Remus almost always dies. Why is that? Why do you guys hate him so much? It’s always half and half for Fred, I never know if he’s going to live or not
In all of the good fics I’ve read I saw in the collections area of ao3 the same collection and I was like! You get me! 
if it says Gammily’s Bookshelf on the fic, it’s gonna be a really fucking great fic let me just tell you that right now
Parseltongue gets me so riled up, I fucking love Parseltongue, it’s so cool
there’s a reason I usually filter out non/c*n but I decided to let it flow and I ran into a few that fucking d e s t r o y e d me why do you guys read shit like this, it broke my heart
that being said I read one that was really nuanced and actually really good but it’ll never be finished and I’m very mad about that
Either we have a better understanding of how goblins could be utilized  than JKR or we’re just ignorant of how powerful they can be
weird coincidence that I’ve read two completely different fics where Harry thought having a threesome meant kissing three different people
Dumbledore’s a bitch and I hate him, every fic I’ve read so far agrees with me
there is a person out there that is CARRYING the bucky barnes/harry potter pairing on their back and I hope whoever that is knows how much I appreciate them
remind me never to click on a fic that hasn’t been updated since 2015 ever again, C’est La Vie I will miss you so
this is just a fucking quarter of the harry potter fics I’ve read but thanks for reading if you did, let me know if you want to know some of the titles
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