#it made me so happy seeing them like run around and play playground games (normally theyre too cool for that) and like laugh w/ each other!

[anotherpapercut]

I was watching the pre teens today (normally I'm with the teens) and they were being fucking crazy so I asked one of them if they're like that for the normal pre teen staff or if they're just acting like that because I'm there and they said "oh yeah we are not normally this bad" so I asked the room "hey why do y'all act so much more insane for me than the other staff? what's up with that??" and one of them said "it's because we know you can handle it. the other staff give up way faster" LMFAO???

[rogueyami]

Haikyuu!! Fic Recs

I love reading fanfics, and I have so many bookmarked that I want to share. Hope you all enjoy and give these writers all the love. All of these are completed works, and they are a mixture of one shots and multi chaps.

Kagehina

where the night goes by bigspoonnoya (M)

Summary:

When their bond loses the immediate context of volleyball, they're left to consider why it's still so vital and important.

Meeting again, by chance, six years later.

Somewhere to Belong by Esselle (E)

Summary:

Once a year, all the villages that follow the way of the sun offer up one of their own to be taken to the sun god's divine temple. Kageyama Tobio, an orphan and loner, never wanted to be chosen—and until the sun god appeared, no one ever wanted to choose him, either. All Tobio wants is to find a place he fits in. What he actually gets is another story entirely.

by this time next year by reeology (T)

Summary:

"I got offers from two universities," Kageyama announces, pointing at his chest with his thumb. "I'm going to play volleyball at Keio this spring."

"You still have to pass an exam, even if it's an easy one," Takeda-sensei hurries to add, although he is beaming and bursting with pride at his fluffy little crow chick taking off to play volleyball at a university level.

"I'll pass," Kageyama says with the same kind of confidence he uses when he tells Hinata he'll get the toss to him. He looks straight at Hinata, and Hinata jerks and turns red, wondering if maybe Kageyama knew he was daydreaming about something as stupid as the way Kageyama talks to him during a game. But then Kageyama just points at him and says, "You'd better get in, too."

Hinata, stupid, naive, idiot that he is, grins wide and nods and says, "Yeah!"

He doesn't know what he's in for.

Not Alone by seconddaysea (E)

Summary:

"I'll visit you," Hinata says. "So you're not allowed to get lonely, you got it?" He turns so they're facing each other, hands warm against Tobio's back. "I'm already lonely," he replies quietly, and he presses his face against Hinata's heart, squeezing his eyes shut, because if this is a dream he doesn't want to wake up.

maps, from me to you by tothemoon (T)

Summary:

This is a (non-chronological) account of the memories they make out of millimeters.

Iwaoi

we can do better than that by spaceburgers (M)

Summary:

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. 

we shine like diamonds by whiitemists (T)

Summary:

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

here comes your man by newamsterdam (T)

Summary:

Iwaizumi’s left his cell phone on the bench, and while Suga keeps his gaze away from Iwaizumi the phone lights up with a new message.

Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3

Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Mrs. Iwaizumi must be quite the doting wife, Suga thinks. Delivering hand-made bentos and sending along loving messages.

No one really knows much about the new surgical resident, Doctor Iwaizumi, other than the fact that he's married. Suga's determined to find out more, and make a friend of him in the process.            

just hear me out by loveclouds (T)     

Summary:

To stimulate Japan's low birthrates and take most of the guesswork out of dating, a beeper system was biologically developed in people's wrists, an audible confirmation to show romantic compatibility.

Iwaizumi's beeper has been going off for Oikawa since they've been kids. Oikawa's has only ever been silent.

 Call Security! by DeathBelle  (T)    

Summary:

Oikawa Tooru is attractive, charming, and irresistible.

He thinks so, anyway, until he meets the mall's new security guard.

In which Oikawa has a crush, Iwaizumi has no interest, and a chain of shoplifting incidents brings them together.

Bokuaka

(Don't) Touch Me by DeathBelle (E)         

Summary:

Akaashi has always had an aversion to human contact, but earlier in his life it had been bearable. It isn't until his last year of high school that it becomes intolerable. By the time he enters college, any skin contact has the potential to send him spiraling into a breathtaking panic attack.

He reconnects with Bokuto in college, and he seems to be the only person with the ability to calm Akaashi down. He finds himself relying on his old captain more and more, especially when Bokuto deems himself Akaashi's own personal guardian. Despite their connection, he can't touch Bokuto, either; no matter how badly he'd like to.    

Upstairs by yoogiboobi (E)    

Summary:

Bokuto first sees his neighbour at the supermarket, three days after he's moved into his new place.

[...] 

For about a second, a heartbeat, he's met with a pair of dark, piercing eyes, with what is probably eyeliner, looking back at him. It really is just a split second before his hand knocks down three cereal boxes that hit him square in the head, effectively making him break eye contact and drop his groceries to the floor.

In which some of the first things Bokuto learns about his upstairs neighbour are the colour of his eyes and the sound of his moans.         

bang! now we're even by Authoress (E)

Summary:

Akaashi only has two rules when it comes to his profession. One, complete the job as swiftly and cleanly as possible. Two, never trust anyone who smells like blood.

Rule three is to shoot Owl Eyes in the face should he ever come across him, but Akaashi never tells anyone about that one.

Crisis Converted  by valiantarmor (E)    

Summary:

Akaashi Keiji is just a normal cop with a penchant for getting himself into trouble, when quite suddenly he finds himself with a big promotion and a brand new partner.

But his habit of finding trouble hasn't gone away -- if anything, it's only gotten worse. 

cracks in the pavement will lead you home by deusreks (M)    

Summary:

Bokuto often thinks about Akaashi, especially when he’s running. It’s like his legs know where they’re supposed to take him. He grows into a habit of running a lot, just to keep that feeling going. Cracks and holes in the pavement aren’t fun to jump over if the final reward isn’t seeing Akaashi’s face.

An alternate universe with a little bit of magic and a lot of growing up.         

Ushiten

died in my dreams by MTrash (Makaria) (T)

Summary:

If anyone asked Ushijima how it came to this, he wouldn’t be able to formulate a proper answer.

Ushijima likes his quiet, his order, and his solitude. That is, until a loud, talkative and a little chaotic cyber tech convinces him that that's just plain boring.

while i nodded, nearly napping (suddenly there came a tapping) by pseudoanalytics (T)     

Summary:

Of course if there was one thing that could be counted on, it was Ushijima’s blunt, total honesty. “Do you think Tendou is attracted to me?”

Reon froze. “T-Tendou?”

“Yes.”

Tendou was notoriously hard to read, but Reon kind of figured that he wasn’t the type to be anything less than painfully overt with romantic affections.

“I... I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I think if Tendou was attracted to you, he would let you know,” Reon said. “I'd guess he just considers you his best friend.” He hoped his answer would satisfy whatever frenzy the guy had worked himself into so Reon could finally take advantage of his last precious hours of sleep.

But instead, Ushijima visibly deflated in front of him. “Yes. That’s what I thought too,” he said miserably.

Oh, Reon realized. Oh no...

Executive Excursion by DeathBelle (E)    

Summary:

Tendou is fun, quirky, and interesting.

Ushijima is none of the above.

It's no surprise that Ushijima is drawn to Tendou's magnetic personality. What's surprising is that Tendou seems to like Ushijima, too.

With a little support from his coworkers, Ushijima decides to take a chance and ask Tendou on a date. The results are better than expected.

fascinating facts about geckos by miracleboysatori (T)        

Summary:     

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

That’s the coach’s name. And he’s the new biology teacher on campus, so not only is he incredibly beautiful, he's also smart as hell.

Tendou can tell he’s completely doomed.

Affection, and other Quantifiable Actions by badbavarois (T)   

Summary:

(He's a monster) Ushijima Wakatoshi isn't a monster.            

Misc/ Other ships

but not for spring to well up by tookumade (T)  OsaSuna 

Summary:

After ending a relationship with a fiancé, Suna returns home and tries to heal from heartbreak. Here, he finds friends in the form of the Miya brothers, and learns patience, forgiveness, and what happiness means to him.           

the more things change by deadseasalt (E)  OiKage   

Summary:

“So let me get this straight. You went to the Meiji-Chuo game and saw your old crush and after watching Meiji bring Chuo to a crushing defeat, you realized you were still crushing on him big time?”

Kageyama wishes he could spit in Tsukishima’s drink. “It’s not a crush.”

Tsukishima laughs. “You poor dumb fuck.”

Third Impression by DeathBelle (E) Kuroo x Semi

Summary:

If Semi has a type, Kuroo isn't it.

After their first meeting, Semi concludes that Kuroo is smug, presumptuous, and a little too flirtatious for his own good. Their second encounter doesn't change his mind, and Semi does his best to avoid a third.

Kuroo has other ideas, and Semi finds himself tricked into an impromptu tutoring session with Kuroo himself.

It doesn't go as badly as Semi expects.

Mannequin Men by surveycorpsjean  (E) BokuAkaKuroTsukki

Summary:

The modeling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.

In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.

Efflorescence by h_lovely (E) MatsuHana

Summary:

"Are we flirting?"   "Do you want to be?"

[Efflorescence (n.) a state of blooming, flowering, and development.]

[queen-scribbles]

Jinx!

Remember when I talked about the idea of Janine and Felix jinxing each other when they go to propose at the same time? Yeah, what better day to share the result with the world than Felix’s birthday :D

------------

Janine didn’t think she’d ever seen Felix voluntarily sit still this long in all the time she’d known him. If he were human she’d be wondering if he’d fallen asleep. And they weren’t even watching a movie or anything.

That had been the plan when Nate shooed them out of the kitchen, but then they’d plunked down on Felix’s bed all cuddled up and neither could be arsed to find the remote. This was good, too. And surprised as she was at him not turning into a fidgety mess after two minutes, she was enjoying it too much to tease. They so rarely got to just be, without peril and running around and other stuff. This was nice.

“I like having you all to myself,” she commented, snuggling closer.

Felix didn’t reply, and Janine arched a brow. Maybe he had actually fallen asleep.

“Babe.” She poked him in the ribs and he yelped as he twitched away. “Ah, you are awake.”

“Yeah, sorry, I was thinking. About how amazing you are,” he added before she could ask, tone genuine and mischief in his eyes.

Janine giggled. Anyone else, she’d think they were buttering her up with a line like that out of the blue, but not him. “Well, don’t let me distract you.”

Felix grinned at her. “By all means, babe, distract away.”

“In that case...” Janine rolled from her position tucked under his arm to straddle his lap, her skirt pooling over his legs and her arms loosely around his neck. “Care to stroke my ego a little and share what makes me amazing?”

“Aside from everything?” Felix snorted, but the sincerity in his eyes belied the teasing tone. “Your smile, your laugh, the way you wanna help people...” his arms slid around her waist, “...your happiness, you have a way with words that could charm a banshee out of a snit” --he stole a kiss-- “But I’m glad you decided I was a better use of your talents.” Another kiss, slightly longer. “What else.... that little wiggly-bounce you do when you’re excited. And you have great taste in men-”

She kissed him, hands braced against the wall, then laughed, giddy, breathless, overwhelmed he’d reeled that off so quickly. “That’s quite a list.”

“Didn’t get to my favorite one yet,” Felix murmured, breath warm against her cheek. “You stuck around.”

“Felix...” She kissed him again, one hand curving the back of his neck and her thumb brushing over the hair at his nape. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised softly, resting her forehead against his. “I like the rest of the team too much, and I love you.”

His breath caught, pulse jumping against her fingertips. “I love you, too.”

She loved when he said it like that; like it was a secret just for them, a treasure too precious by half, a truth that couldn’t be contained in words. It made her heart swell, made her want to throw caution to the wind, shout from the roof of the warehouse, something to tell him and the world how much he meant to her.

There was something. It was the very definition of throwing caution to the wind, of impulsivity, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that. “Felix-”

“Janine-”

“Will you marry me?” One question fell from two pairs of lips in the same moment, and all other emotions--surprise, elation, wild excitement--were momentarily eclipsed by playground rules from when she was six, and Janine whooped, “Jinx!”

At the same moment as Felix.

Half a second later, realization clawed out from under schoolgirl habit and grey eyes met gold, both wide with glee and horror in equal measure.

Shit. Janine clapped  hand over her mouth to hold back a giggle. What do we do?! she tried to ask with just her eyes. If vampires, werewolves, and various other supernatural forces were real, no way in hell was she messing with a jinx. It might actually give her bad luck.

Felix looked just as flummoxed--and amused--as she felt. He shrugged and bit his lip. Great.

Janine’s phone chimed as she tried to work out the easiest way to fix this  When she wiggled it out of her pocket, there was a text from Tina. Need you at the station. Should be quick 🤞. She wrinkled her nose and turned the phone to show Felix the text.

He nodded, eyes still laughing, and tugged her in for one more quick kiss before she climbed off the bed and hunted down her flats.

This might be a good thing, she mused as she headed for her car. If Tina greeted her by name it would break the jinx, she could handle this ‘quick’ problem, and come back to say ‘Yes, Felix’ and unjinx him if he still needed it. Yeah, this was good. 

---

Tina greeted her with an apologetic smile. “Hey. sorry to bother you on your day off, but the Captain decided these need to go to the big city” --she jostled the case files in her arms-- “and I need the detective’s signature.”

Janine nodded, fighting down  glower that Tina hadn’t used her name(but of course today would fall in the handful of occasions that happened). She got a pen from her desk and spread the files out to start signing off. There were only five, and Tina kept up a stream of chatter about her post-shift plans--never once saying Janine in the whole ramble. It was as she finished checking and signed the last file Tina poked her in the shoulder.

“Hey. You’re being awful quiet,” she pointed out, brow furrowed. “Are you mad at me?”

Janine shook her head..

Tina’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Just not feeling chatty today?”

Janine wrinkled her nose and shrugged, and Tina’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, my god, you got jinxed, didn’t you?!” she crowed as she collected the files.

Janine huffed grumpily and raked back hair that had fallen from her bun.

Tina grinned. “Who got you?”

Janine curved her hands to form a heart against her chest and fluttered her eyelashes.

“Felix?!” Tina’s grin went wider and decidedly mischievous “So I guess now you need to be unjinxed, huh?”

Janine nodded, pressing her palms together in a pleading gesture.

Tina tapped one finger against her chin and smirked. “Now, let’s see, what do I want in return for this favor....? Any ideas, J- oh, right, I’m on my own for this one.”

Janine pouted and lightly whacked her friend’s shoulder in protest. That’s not fair!

“I’d play nice if I were you, my friend,” Tina teased, wagging a finger. “Give me another second to think.”

Janine managed to control herself while Tina stroked her chin in exaggerated thought, but internally she was making strangling motions.

“I know,” Tina finally said with a giggle. “How’s a baker’s dozen pastries from Haley’s sound? Fair trade?”

You and your sweet tooth. Janine bit back a smile as she nodded. If that’s what it takes, fine.

“Promise?”

She rolled her eyes and made a heart-crossing gesture. Best I can do.

Tina grinned. “You’re the best, Janine.”

“No, you are,” Janine said fervently, wrapping her in a quick, tight hug. “I’ll get you the pastries tomorrow when they’re fresh, right now I have to go.” She darted for the door. “Thanks, Tina!”

“You’re making me think I should have aimed higher!” Tina hollered after her. “Like rights on being your bloody maid of honor or something!” 

Janine snorted a laugh at the irony but didn’t even slow down.  She could explain later.

----

Felix had never been good at patience, but this was even worse than usual. He paced his room with bouncing steps for all of thirty seconds before even that wasn’t enough and he headed out to find... someone.

Mason was on patrol, Rebecca had been called to some meeting.... Maybe if he tried to sneak back into the kitchen he could get Nate to scold him and that would do the trick.

But Nate wasn’t in the kitchen anymore when Felix got there. His face crinkled in disappointment and he lightly kicked the bottom edge of the counter.

He needed to be unjinxed by the time Janine got back. Even if this quick problem stayed quick to fix, he didn’t want to wait. He wanted to be able say ‘Yes, absolutely, just try to stop me!’ as soon as she walked in.

Of course, the fact they’d both asked was sort of a yes on its own, wasn’t it? Felix eyed the fresh tray of cookies sitting atop the stove and shook his head. Didn’t matter. He wanted to actually say it.

Denied freedom via scolding, Felix wandered back out of the kitchen in search of Nate or Adam or somebody. The few agents he passed in his quest nodded politely but all looked too preoccupied to stop and help him. Somewhere in his random meanderings, he started picking up the sound of rhythmic blows and he grinned. Shoulda know Adam would be working out. His route became much more deliberate as he started making his way to the training room.

Adam was clearly focused--though no doubt noticed he had company--so Felix waited by one of the benches for a... safer feeling moment to finagle what he needed out of the team leader. It didn’t take long--though it felt like an eternity to Felix--for Adam to finish the series of moves he’d been... rehearsing? Practicing? Whatever you’d call it, he’d actually left the practice dummy in one piece this time. Normally Felix would jokingly applaud his restraint just to get an eyeroll. 

“Did you need something?” Adam asked without turning around. He wasn’t even breathing hard.

Felix wrinkled his nose and hunched his shoulders. This isn’t gonna work unless you look at me, he grumbled silently.

Adam turned with a frown creasing his brow. “I do not feel like playing games, Felix. What-”

Yes! Felix pumped one fist and grinned. “No, nothing, I’m good, thanks.” That was easier than I thought it would be.

Adam’s frown deepened, suspicion mingled with annoyance now. “Then why are you here?”

“Don’t worry about it, not important anymore.” Felix started edging toward the door.

“Felix.”

“Ugh, fine.” Adam was going to think this was silly, he knew he would, but the older vampire looked ready to haul him up by his collar and let him dangle until he explained. He wouldn’t, probably, but explaining was the path of least resistance, and Felix was fond of those. Knew I shoulda looked for Nate.

Just as he opened his mouth, however, the training room door burst open to reveal Janine, loose wisps of hair hanging in her face and determined excitement burning so bright in her grey eyes it brought out the matching stripes in her dress. She hesitated a fraction of a second after catching his eye, probably worried about a repeat.

Felix was too excited to share her concern and launched himself toward her with a loudly whooped, “YES!!!”

She was giggling as he crashed into her, as she stumbled back into the door, as their hands latched onto each others’ clothes, laughing as she kissed him, deep enough he saw fireworks. Which was fitting because this deserved celebration.

It wasn’t until a deep, long-suffering sigh rumbled out of Adam they remembered they had an audience. “Do I want to know?”

Felix and Janine broke apart, grinned at each other, and both started rattling off explanations. Felix shut up a few sentences in; Janine was doing a much better job explaining that he would have. Besides, this way he got to look at her. At the way her eyes lit up, the extra wisps of hair curling and bobbing around her face as she reeled off an enthusiastic play by play of the events leading to now. She looked like she was glowing, or maybe that was just the light through the high windows, but Felix liked the thought of her glowing better.

Adam had a very skeptical eyebrow arched by the time she finished. “Jinxes are mere superstition, Detective. They cannot cause you harm because they are not real.”

“Says the vampire,” Janine shot back immediately with a grin and arched brow of her own.

Felix barely swallowed a whoop as he slung an arm around her shoulders and turned to grin at Adam. “She makes an excellent point.”

“Supernatural races existing outside legend is a different matter entirely,” Adam insisted, then shook his head as if dismissing the matter entirely. He ran a searching look over the two of them. “This... development will bring up things to discuss, but,” one corner of his mouth tipped upward. “I am happy, for both of you.”

“Thanks, I’m happy for us, too,” Janine said brightly, shuffling herself and Felix out of the way as Adam headed for the door.

“Me, three,” Felix chipped in, kissing her on the cheek.

One small chuckle escaped Adam, and he offered them a single nod of approval before he left the room. Soon as the door closed behind him, Janine;s fingers dug into Felix’s scarf and she kissed him deeply, soundly, long enough to set lights sparking behind his eyes.

“Fireworks,” he whispered mischievously, and she grinned and kissed him again so they could see some more.

[pinkhairedlily]

You're Mine

Prompt: Healing | A03 link here | Connect with me on Twitter. Happy SS Month everyone! 🌸🍅🥗 @ssskmonth

Sasuke marks his girls the way a snake leaves bites on its victims, two clear puncture marks made with a pen on the wrist for everyone to see, and the victims display them like some kind of token, an act they put on as active participants of his personal exhibition.

So they wonder where the marks are on Haruno Sakura, his new object of affections, the cherry pink-haired girl who hails from a commoner family with no prestigious bloodline history or whatsoever. To be fair, her hair is to die for – long, silky, soft strands that flow like water through fingers. They see him play with them in class even with her hair up in a ponytail – he would twirl the strands in his forefinger, lift them up to his nose, and inhale her scent. And she remains oblivious through all of these. Maybe that’s why he likes chasing her.

She’s different, couldn’t care about his advances, however forward they may be – like the incessant hand holding in PE classes, the extravagant bouquets he places on her desk at the start of every month, the public requests to go home together – and this certain level of unavailability thrills him. They think this is just a game to him.

Maybe there’s no mark because she’ll never be his. After all, she’s always holed up in the library with the silver-haired man, Hatake Kakashi. A heartthrob that could compete with Sasuke if only he spends a little less time with his nose buried in books. Too nerdy with the metal rimmed glasses, too boring, too quiet, and unimpressionable. But the silver and the pink go along well together, a duo one would always see in the hallways, in the cafeteria, at the lockers, and at the gates after Sasuke gets rejected for a ride home.

The competition offers another layer of suspense for the public interest – a side spectatorship apart from their (dull) normal daily lives. The lack of public affection between the silver and pink keeps Sasuke going however. He likes winning after all, and this is just but another challenge to him.

His challenger, on the other hand, plays him like a fiddle. Made aware of his affections for Sakura, he started to vie for them as well, going as far to compete with Sasuke on his playground aka the 100-meter dash and closely winning it by a margin. The man of the school rarely gets frustrated, even more riled up, but Kakashi says something to him when he gets the medal, and a slight scuffle ensues. Broken up when Sakura shows up on the track, a first aid box in her hand. Interestingly, she treats Sasuke’s swollen ankle first – an injury no one took notice of…until now. That says more than something but before the gossip mill could form an elaborate theory, she hooks her arm with Kakashi’s and leads him away. That also says more than something.

The day of the cultural festival arrives, and Sasuke’s class chooses to do a cosplay café. He comes to school dressed like a prince, a hundred roses in his hand which he gives to every visitor that passes by their room. A few spectators report that there’s a bunch of daffodils in a paper bag tied next to his duffel bag. They’re pretty sure the flowers for her.

But she’s nowhere to be found that day. Instead, they see Kakashi holding hands with Rin, a senior, and Sakura’s close childhood friend. They piece the information available to them and ends up with the conclusion that the cherry pink girl is betrayed by the two closest people in her life.

This is good news however for Sasuke, they surmised, but the prince remains unperturbed. By the end of the day, after the school bonfire, a classmate says the paper bag has been emptied and found in the trash can. Someone got rejected. (Or so they thought.)

The chase stops altogether – not only towards Haruno Sakura, but to all the girls. No flirtations, no winks, no suggestive gestures. But Uchiha Sasuke is a smiling, sunshine mess. Whoever is making him happy is doing a good job of also making a loyal dog out of him.

Sakura cuts her hair to her shoulders by spring, and she moves to the seat on the front, away from Sasuke’s twirling fingers. They find him doing the motion albeit in thin air with a soft expression on his face and his eyes straying to the blooming cherry blossoms outside the window. They still find no mark of his on anyone.

When she comes into school with her glorious pink hair grown enough to be pulled up to a ponytail, they find a tomato tattoo on her nape. The summer rolls around and all the boys ditch the long sleeves. That’s when they notice the cherry blossom petal tattooed on Sasuke’s wrist, the skin around each of the identifying marks already healed.

And they realize they’ve been outsmarted with a delayed narrative that’s already months in the running. They confirm this not with gossips, but the ease of Sakura sliding her hand in Sasuke’s and the two meeting Kakashi and Rin at the gates for a double date.

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicMas2020 Day 2: Kidfic

Happy Day 2! Nothing interesting to say today, just on with the offering.

This was written as part of an anthology entitled ‘Five Ways Alice & Jasper Never Met’, which remains unfinished *gestures at WIP list*. After the messed up life I gave the Whitlocks in Against A Wall, I decided I should probably show the family having a slightly happier life. I feel like there’s probably the potential of a series of ficlets in this, showing the pair growing up together, but we’ll see.

Alice being adopted by teacher-Esme and doctor-Carlisle was definitely influenced by the sweetest fic, A Family For Alice by kr2009.

—

Louise Whitlock stacked the leftover pizza in the fridge, long since ready for bed. It had been a very long day. It had been a very long year.

Juggling four kids and a full-time job was exhausting in ways Louise had never considered. The errands list on the fridge was already two pages long; and that didn’t include the other lists on her phone, in her date-book, and doodled on the whiteboard next to the fridge.

It had been over twelve months since she had decided that, after her husband’s sudden death, she couldn’t stay in Texas. She needed a fresh start. And so did her kids. At first, she had just planned to stay in the south, find some small town with a hospital that needed a nurse. Far away enough to get some space, but close enough to be familiar. And be near friends and family.

She didn’t even know why she applied to a hospital in a tiny Pacific Northwest town, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe facing down bills she couldn’t comfortably pay, living in a house that was haunted with memories of her husband, she had applied. It was the furthest place she could imagine from home, without leaving the country.  

And then she got the job, and there was really no good reason to turn down the offer, especially when they offered to cover some moving expenses. She had wanted a fresh start, after all.

Looking up Forks to try and convince her kids of how wonderful the move would be had been a shock to all of them. Her three girls had been horrified – no cinema, no malls, very few sporting teams; the rainiest place is the entire country, and the house that Louise had chosen, thinking it was cute, suddenly looked small and cramped when she saw it through her daughters’ eyes. Ten-year-old Lydia had freaked out at leaving her grandparents and her cousins behind; twelve-year-old Ava threw screaming fits about leaving behind their father’s grave. And Fern did nothing but whine about how boring Forks would be.

And then there was Jasper. Jasper had been in the car with Will when it crashed, leaving her baby boy covered in nasty scars. He had only been four, a little ray of sunshine who was always giggling. But afterwards, he was so sad and angry and quiet. He just didn’t talk much. Didn’t smile. It was almost as if she’d lost her baby boy in that accident at the same time. He just shrugged at Louise’s attempt to discuss their move to Forks, staring down at his Lego model.

It had been completely miserable. After she finally got the kids to understand that it was happening, and nothing they could say would change Louise’s mind, she had to deal with her extended friends and family trying to convince her not to leave. Will’s parents had actually threatened legal action to keep their grandkids in the state; by the time the house was sold, Louise wasn’t entirely sure they were even speaking to her.

The truth was that she had no idea if it was a good plan. No one seemed happy or positive about her plan; no one seemed to want to understand why they had to go. Even Louise was conflicted - was this her way of healing, of embracing a new normal and their new reality, or was she running away?

But a year later, looking back, she knew she’d done the right thing - just by looking at her son.

They had arrived in Forks on a rainy day – water falling from the sky in sheets – and Louise then spent a hellish week unpacking, trying to calm down three girls who thought Forks was worse than prison, and getting all four of the kids registered and ready for school before she started at the hospital. It was exhausting and frustrating in new ways – proper grocery shops involved driving to the next town over, since Forks only boasted a mini-mart; despite her best efforts, Ava and Jasper both needed new weather-appropriate clothing, whilst Lydia and Fern pitched fits about their hand-me-downs.

And the house was far from perfect - the carpet was filthy, the bathroom tiles were chipped and loose, Fern’s bedroom window had been broken in a storm, and the kitchen ceiling leaked. It was enough to make Louise to actually contemplate calling her mother for the money to drag the kids back to Texas. This wasn’t what she had signed up for.

But finally, the first day of school – and work – dawned. And it was chaos - Ava couldn’t find her backpack, Lydia wouldn’t get out of bed, and Fern was hysterical about starting at a new school. Jasper was just silent and solemn in front of his cereal, whilst Louise tried to remember where she’d left her own paperwork.

But miraculously, they made it out of the house on time. Forks had a combination Middle-Elementary school, so it was only one drop-off – at least for the next couple of years. And it looked like a nice school - lots of green space for the kids to run when it wasn’t raining, cheery murals on the walls, and many happy-sounding kids crowding the parking lot. That was always a good sign.

Ava, Lydia and Fern loudly protested their mother escorting them into their classrooms, and headed off to class with their assigned guides, all three of them looking like soldiers bracing for battle.

But Jasper was still glued to her side, staring blankly ahead. It was only because she knew her boy well that Louise noticed the nervous way he tugged at his hoodie as they headed towards the kindergarten building.

The kindergarteners were scattered throughout their gated playground – a sea of giggling, happy faces. One particularly pretty little blonde girl was perched at the highest point of the climbing frame – pink hair ribbons, pink Mary-Janes, even her little pink jeans had ruffles on them – smirking at the boys below, trying to climb up with her, but were struggling to find the right footholds. Two other little girls were sitting on the swings, whilst a redheaded boy lingered in the background, clearly trying to join in their conversation.

Kickball games, chase games, squealing and laughing and yelling: it was happy five-year-old chaos.

Jasper was hanging back, looking concerned, his fingers twisted through Louise’s belt loops. She’d had to call him back on his very first day of school last semester to say good-bye; Peter and Charlotte had been sitting alone, and he’d raced up to them, so eager for friends he’d left without saying good bye or even taking his backpack.

And now he was here, hiding behind her and pleading with his eyes not to leave him.  

Her poor baby.

“We have free play until nine o clock, unless it’s raining,” the teacher, a Ms Yorkie said sweetly, noticing Jasper’s reluctance. “Kick-ball, and hopscotch, and climbing, and tag.” She looked around the playground, and pointed at the climbing frame – a solid looking boy was sitting on the railings below the pink clad girl, laughing. “There’s Emmett and Rosalie. They’re very nice, would you like to meet them?”

Jasper shook his head and buried his face against Louise’s hip.

Miss Yorkie exchanged a look with Louise – it was the universal look of a kindergarten teacher warning that the separation would be ugly, but it would have to happen – the faster it happened, the better it would be for everyone.

“Jasper-”

“Hello!”

Louise turned around at the interruption to see a tiny little girl standing behind her. She looked like a little doll, with black hair cut in a bob, with an enormous red bow in her hair, a red dress over tights, and a pair of well-loved mary-janes.

She was beaming at Jasper, and held out her hand. “I’m Alice. Come and play.”

Jasper stared at her.

Louise didn’t expect Jasper to respond at all, to dismiss or outright ignore the invitation. Ms Yorkie was smiling at the little girl – Alice – who seemed to be bouncing with either energy or excitement.

Jasper stared at Alice for a moment, before stepping out from behind Louise, and taking Alice’s hand.

“D’you like monkey bars?” Alice asked as she dragged Jasper after her. “I like monkey bars.”

Louise watched as Jasper shed his backpack, and joined Alice, never looking back. She could see the little girl still talking to her son.

“He’ll be just fine,” Ms Yorkie said to her. “Alice will take care of him.”

Louise nodded and thanked the teacher, turning to leave.

As she slipped out the gate, she heard a squeal of laughter, and looked back to see Jasper holding little Alice around her legs so she could reach the monkey bars and swing all the way to the other side. Alice was giggling so hard she could barely grip the rails, and Jasper had a tiny smile on his face.

And that was enough for Louise.

--

It didn’t take long for Louise to learn about little Alice, and her family. Her full name was Mary-Alice Cullen, and she was the adoptive daughter of the local surgeon and his wife - who was an English teacher for the middle school students. They lived just outside town, and every afternoon, Alice would dash out the gates and into the middle school to find her mother.

It was easy to pick Alice in a crowd – not only did she wear bright colours, she always wore an enormous bow in her hair; it was almost like a satellite. Having seen how quickly the little girl could move, Louise had to wonder if the largeness of the hair accessories, and brightness of the clothing wasn’t completely intentional.

And where Alice went, so went Jasper.

Every single morning, Alice would be waiting faithfully at the kindergarten gates for Jasper; on the rainiest days, Ms Yorkie had to retrieve her several times from standing out in her raincoat and gumboots – a nearly blinding pink and yellow ensemble. And every time she spotted Jasper, she’d bounce on her toes, clapping and beaming with happiness. Louise couldn’t help wondering if Alice Cullen was the reason the kindergarten was enclosed with a fence.

Alice’s friendship with Jasper brought good things to all of them. Alice had had her mother call up Louise that very first weekend Jasper was in school, with an invitation for Louise, Jasper, and the girls to join them for a weekend barbecue they were hosting.

Esme Cullen was a sweet and gentle woman, who clearly doted on her daughter. The Cullens had the most magnificent house, with a garden that spilled into the forest. Esme had taken the opportunity to invite some other local families, especially those with children the same as Louise’s. It had been nice to talk to other adults, ones that didn’t know her whole story from birth for once in her life. Who didn’t look at her and the kids, and have pity written all over their faces.

And that’s how they settled into Forks. It was strange, how Alice brought Jasper back to life, dragged them all into the fabric of Forks. They became inseparable; when Jasper started soccer, Alice joined the team too, complete with pink cleats and enormous hair ribbons printed with tiny soccer balls. When Alice broke her arm falling off the monkey bars, Jasper had spent the entire weekend sitting at the end of her bed, glaring at any doctor or nurse who caused her pain or scared her. Jasper joined the Cullen family for at two vacations – one camping trip, one beach holiday. On the nights when Louise pulled the night shift, it was Dr and Mrs Cullen who had all four of the Whitlock children to stay, so Louise didn’t have to pay for an overnight babysitter.

It didn’t take long for Alice’s other friends to warm to Jasper either; Alice’s closest female friend was a girl named Rosalie Hale, whom Louise recognised as the pink-clad girl from the first day. A plain-spoken but beautiful girl, Rose was always clad in shades of pink, and seemed to be more of a set-piece for her parents than a child. She was obsessed with Jasper’s car racing set, and more than one rainy Sunday ended with both Rosalie and Jasper sprawled on the carpet, racing those remote-controlled cars.

Emmett McCarty was another of Alice’s friends – a tall, solid boy who seemed to always be laughing – who marched up to Jasper one day, introduced himself, and that was that. The middle child of half a dozen kids, Emmett was full of mischief and fun. The boys had begun construction of a club house in the forest just outside the Whitlock’s back fence, a hopeful lean-to that Louise didn’t think would last longer than the first bad wind. For a moment, she was sad that Will wasn’t there to help Jasper build a proper treehouse or clubhouse for the backyard. But, eventually, she realised that it wasn’t the actual clubhouse the boys wanted; it was the building and planning they had fun with.

There were other two that hovered on the fringes of their group - Isabella Swan and Edward Masen. They were similar – both quiet, awkward, and fairly disinterested in the games the others would engage in, but would tag along. Louise felt sorry for them – Isabella’s mother had divorced her father and left town before the Whitlocks had arrived in Forks, and the little girl seemed to be taking it hard. Edward’s parents were both older, and didn’t seem to understand how little boys were supposed to act, discouraging loud, rowdy games, or sport, and preferring for him to spend his time practicing the piano or reading quietly.

But Alice welcomed them, and so the others did too; though Louise noticed Jasper wasn’t thrilled with Alice lavishing her attention on Edward. The only one less thrilled with the addition of Edward was Rosalie; the two of them fought like cats and dogs, and the Cullens and Louise both had stories of trying to break up whatever argument they had gotten into. Even Louise’s own daughters didn’t have such loud, angry arguments with each other that Rosalie and Edward had.

Everyone was happier in Forks. At ballet practice, Lydia had met twin girls from the Quileute reservation – Rebecca and Rachel – and the three of them were as thick as thieves. Ava had a friend in a girl called Tanya, and Fern had fallen in with a pair of cousins called Leah and Emily. Most weekends and vacations, Louise’s house was overflowing with children, and she couldn’t say that she didn’t enjoy it.  

Her kids were happy. That was all she really wanted from the move in the first place.

Tonight, there were nine children under her roof; nine kids who had tumbled into the kitchen to wolf down pizza and soda, and were now tucked in their bedrooms. She knew that Ava and Tanya were up in Ava’s room, giving each other make-overs, and that Lydia and the twins were in the middle of one of their huge and incredibly messy art projects – Lydia’s bedroom usually looked like a giant art and craft project, with glitter and paint everywhere. And Leah and Fern would play elaborate games with their Barbie dolls until they passed out. The girls knew the rules: ‘bedtime’ just meant ‘quiet games in their bedrooms’ during sleepovers. Louise wouldn’t enforce sleep unless they woke her up.

And then there were the other two.  

Louise paused to look into the living room, the television still flickering some cartoon. Two little figures were sprawled out on sleeping bags – one bright blue, one sparkly pink – on the floor. They were almost sharing a pillow; one of Alice’s arms thrown over Jasper’s chest, clad in the pinkest, most ruffled nightgown Louise had ever seen. Jasper’s plush dog was tucked under one arm, and Alice’s rag doll was squished between them.

It didn’t matter how many times they begged to be able to stay up late - watching movies or television, or playing one of their elaborate games with action figures – they always fell asleep long before they planned to.  

Snapping off the television and the lights, Louise smiled to herself. She remembered her own mother’s stories about her and Will. How inseparable they had been as children - there was always a place at the dinner table for both of them, that it was perfectly normal for Will to spend the night in the bunk below hers. Everyone had warned her parents their friendship would fizzle out in middle and high school.

But it hadn’t. It never would have. Will Whitlock had been her best friend for two decades before he became her husband, and she never forgot that. It might even have been the part of him she missed the most. There was only one thing that could have broken them apart – Will not paying attention to the road and dying in a head-on collision. And only one thing had helped Louise keep it together - their beautiful children.

Maybe it was just a pretty thought; that Alice and Jasper would follow in hers and Will’s footsteps – childhood, the teen years, high school and college, a wedding and a family. That they’d forget all about the time before they met, because they were so in tune that it was strange to think of a time they weren’t friends. Maybe they wouldn’t fall in love; maybe they’d just be crazy-best-friends for life, dragging spouses on vacations to visit, an endless stream of emails and Skype calls. Or even fall out and drift apart – a name in a yearbook, and a hazy memory.  

But Louise thought about all the little things – the text messages Mrs Cullen sent her to warn Jasper when Alice was sick on school days; Jasper saving the green lollipops he got from the businesses around town, because Alice liked the green ones the best. Alice tackle-hugging him whenever a weekend went by without them seeing each other. Alice beating up the boy who made fun of Jasper’s scars, her knees and palms skinned and bloody as she defended herself to the teacher, Jasper holding her backpack and looking stunned.

Louise knew that loyalty.

It might not turn out to be anything, but she was definitely betting on Alice Cullen being by her son’s side forever.

[bonesthebeloved]

Complicated- creativitwins

Digging up old drafts baby here we goooo.

The father in this story doesn't have a name so you can imagine it as anyone you'd like/ as simply a stranger. Happy reading.

Trigger/ squick warning: father figures, complicated relationship with parental figures, mention of screaming, child services mention (in like...one sentence) mention of crying, mention of animal death (bunnies) mention of homophobia. <- if I missed any let me know.

Edit: I did not check spelling. We die like men

-

Pappa had always been with them.

When they were three and just formed their first memories they might remember in distant futures when all was quiet and nothing was holding them back from reminisent, they would remember about the time they’d gotten two big stuffed bears bigger than themselves When Papa had still been alone and Dad hadn’t been with them yet.

They would remember the soft fur in their little hands as they cuddled close to the things when it was naptime.

Pappa was always there for them

When Roman was five and he woke up from a nightmare where a squirrel was chasing him around the playground pappa was there to wrap his long arms around him and tell him that he was safe and that he would get his squirrel catching gear out of the supply closet the man they had started calling Dad had built for them, first thing in the morning.

When Remus faked being sick the first day of school because a kid in his class had laughed at the white streak in his hair he'd had since birth pappa had come and picked him up, explaining that poliosis is nothing to be ashamed of and laughing warmly as his son tried to pronouns the word.

-

Pappa would always protect them.

When Roman first talked about his pappa and dad in school the teacher had looked like she'd eaten something nasty. Later on Roman was moved to the same class as his brother, his own teacher saying she didn't want to be associated with his kind.

When Pappa came to pick him up that day Roman asked what that ment. And for one of the first times in his life he'd seen pappa frown.

They baked a cake to celebrate them being the same class that evening and Pappa and dad lifted the two of them high up in the air and twirled them around while cheerful music played.

When Remus got told off by a teacher for the first time because he had pushed another kid in his class he had to sit in the corner for ten minutes.

When he was allowed to go back to his spot Roman thanked him for protecting him and Remus threw the paper ball that had been thrown at him right back.

When Pappa came to pick him up he and the teacher had a long talk and they left quickly afterwards. Pappa holding both his and Roman's hands in his own big one's and telling them about how they had done the right thing.

-

Pappa would always comfort them.

When Roman came back home with scrapped knees and an attitude Pappa had asked him what had happened.

Roman hadn't answered and his brother had later told their dad's that he had seen Roman getting pushed around by some older kids. The had been yelling a word he didn't know the meaning of. When he had told it to pappa he had looked angry. And told his boys that those kids were mean and to never use that word because it made fun of good people.

When Remus began to get more friends his pappa asked him to include Roman in all of their games.

His brother had trouble connecting to people and was quickly becoming the bullied kid. And while Remus would gladly take any bullets for him he couldn't protect him at all times.

And while Remus played star wars with his friends, running around the playground and pretending to know the characters, Roman sat and drew in the little notebook pappa had given him for school.

And Remus bought him a new one with his own pocket money when a mean kid threw it in the lake nearby when they went there to explore with the class around the time that eggs would magically appear in their garden and they pretended like it was a bunny putting them there.

Pappa would always be with them.

When they went to highschool and Remus his friends could no longer play starwars with him because one moved away, one said she’d never liked him and two others went to the same school but suddenly forgot about their being friends, he sat with his brother more often.

And when Roman got friends that he wasn’t sure he liked but hung around anyways because it was better than sitting alone, Remus was left sitting at a table at lunch, other kids coming to sit at the same one in the hopes he would get up and leave.

When he had refused to do just that they’d began whispering about him pretending he didn’t hear them. And when he acted like he didn’t hear they had began calling him mean things.

After two months at the new school they came home and both called for their Pappa with shaky voices too quiet to bare any sort of good news.

And when Remus showed off his bruised wrist he’d gotten when a kid had grabbed him harshly and Roman told him about how his friends hadn’t been friends but bullies in a trenchcoat and a mustache to make him think they were friends before telling him he was too weird to hang around, Pappa had brought them both into his arms. Whispering something like ‘oh my poor, brave boys,’ before holding them a bit tighter and then telling them that sometimes, the world was mean like that and that, sometimes, it takes a while before you find the right people.

And when they went to bed that night they laid in the room and stared at the same ceiling. Both pretending they couldn’t hear Pappa arguing with Dad in the hallway.

Both pretending they weren’t crying silently until they fell asleep to Dad accusing Pappa of being a vile and horrible human being.

Pappa didn’t have all the answers.

They learnt that when they were on their second year of highschool and both of their pet bunnies died in the same night. 

Roman had sniffled and stood near the gardendoor as he watched them dig a deep hole all the way at the back of their garden. 

Remus decided that he would be sad about this at night when nobody would see or worry and stood close by Pappa as he put the two bunnies in a shoebox and put it in the hole. Saying they had probably died because of the rat poision Dad had spread across the lawn and that the mice must’ve gotten into their food somehow.

They learnt this when Dad and him had sat them down after breakfast that had strawberries to tell them that sometimes love died and that weddingrings would rust and be put in two seperate homes in two seperate boxes that would never be opened again.

They learnt this the fifth time that Remus came home with bruises and Roman began to listen to darker music and emote less dramatically. Unlearning all the expressions he’d picked up from those animated childrens series they weren’t allowed to watch but watched them anyways. He faked having imagined a happy place when the woman that was supposed to help them through the divorce told him to invision one. Instead invisioning Remus, and how he should have punched the guy that had made him drop his books the moment he saw it happening.

Pappa was  a human being.

They realised this more clearly than ever when he’d found out why Remus only wore long sleeves and got sent to therapy after their Pappa had hysterically cried over it and begged his son not to leave them before he could grow old.

When Roman stared at the ceiling after he’d taken 14 paracetamol and googling how many it would take to leave them before he could grow old, only to find that he would probably be fine and go to school the next day feeling as empty as usual. Pappa had yelled at him when he had gotten back to be more careful and not get invloved with his brothers troubles after he’d shown off the scratched shoulder from where he’d been thrown against a fence when he'd tried to stand up for him.

And when Remus got diagnosed with dyslexia and Roman with depression they said nothing. Roman shaking his head when the doctor suggested therapy and Remus sitting quietly as they explained that he might have adhd aswell.

Their father wasn't perfect.

They learnt this when Remus came back from school with a black eye and a failed math test and the test was all that was focused on. Shouting not unlike the one they'd heard all those years ago when love began to die and rings began to rust booming through the house and piercing through the music Roman was listening to in his room. A bottle cap with water falling off his desk and the little growing plant in it falling with it.

They learnt this when Roman said he was asexual aromantic and their father said that he should consider therapy again because surely that couldn't be normal.

And when Roman told him that maybe they weren't normal he'd been send to his room. Doors slamming shut and noises too loud for Remus to process.

-

Their father was wrong sometimes.

They realised this when Remus first brought a friend home and jokes about countries the kid wasn't from were made around the otherwise uncomfortably quiet dinner table. And when religion was brought up in a house full of atheists Remus stood and took his friend's hand, saying that they'd eat something at a foodtruck and storming of, leaving Roman to feed little stripes of unseasoned meat to the cat.

-

Their father was bad sometimes.

They learned this when the both of them started college and the racist microagressions turned into jokes about how they'd never make it since they were both going to art schools.

And when Remus showed him his homemade costume he huffed and said it looked great in a tone that Implied anything but. And when Roman showed him the finished piece he'd worked months on he said it looked nice even if it had mistakes while pointing at every single one of them while his son, hands still stained with markers and pencil smudges, gave a watery smile and the artwork was put in a art map to never be looked at again.

Their father wasn't good for them.

They realised this. Finally realised this, when Remus was twenty and had decided to move out, getting a small apartment would have been to expensive had his brother not eagerly asked him if he could come with him.

And they told their father while their bags were already packed and the rent was already payed.

And their neighbours registered a noise complained and whispered about calling childservices when their father started another screaming match to tell them how much he didn't want them to leave and how they wouldn't make it.

And they painted the walls mint green while Roman painted a mural around the spot where their couch would be.

And they ate lukewarm noodles from the plastic canisters while sat on the empty apartment floor.

And Roman bought a dozen succulents to take care of and make it feel more like home.

And the wall was always covered in outfit designs and storyboards as the jar they had put the sticker 'for a couch' on slowly filled up.

And they still send him Christmas cards but didn't plan on visiting that house for a long long time.

And their father would have killed them for the mess they made of the apartment sometimes.

And they preferred it that way.

-

This is both an extremely specific vent and goes out to all the kids with complicated relationships with their parents.

You're allowed to not like your caretakers. You're allowed to not want contact with them after you've moved on. You're allowed to think how they treated you was unjust because it probably was.

-

-

Taglist

@purp-man @crazycookie13o @deceitifullies101 @sapphire-knight @ragingdumpsterfiremess @chronophobica @lance-alt @mylifeisadeceit

[sweethq]

❝in which you fall in love with your childhood best friend. you reminisce about the moments growing up together that made you fall for him.❞

𑁍 Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem!reader

»»—Trigger warning(s): none—-««

➶ Genre: fluff

✎ Word count: 3.5k

-ˏˋ A/N: Ahhh here is the first work for my 500 event!! I’m so excited to share this piece with you guys, it took a lot of time and effort to write, but I finally did it! ˊˎ-

You stare at Kuroo who stands with a bouquet of flowers in his grasp, awe and adoration lingering in your gaze. He is fitted in dress pants and a white button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the crease of his arms. It had been nearly a year since you’d last seen him, and boy, did that year treat him well. His lean frame is now adorned with muscles; you notice that his shoulders seem wider than before. His jet black hair is styled neatly, but still holds hints of the bedhead he wore all throughout his childhood.

Love and longing flow through your emotions at the sight of him. For the first time in the fourteen years that you’ve known him, you can confidently admit to yourself that you love him. The kind of love that is more than a deep rooted friendship between two people; the kind of love where he is the only one you see a future with; the kind of love that can bond people together for eternity. Thinking back to the memories that you’ve shared over the years, you can’t think of a time where this type of love for him didn’t exist.

───

You loved Kuroo when you were four, when he became your first friend. You had convinced your mom to take you to the nearby park to play with the other kids in the neighborhood. Your eyes were bright like the sun at the sight of all the children playing on the playground. There was a group of kids who seemed to be your age instigating a game of tag, running up to them as fast as your little legs could take you.

“Can I play with you guys?” You asked excitedly, bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet.

“No, only big kids are allowed to play with us. You’re too young,” one of them replied, a scowl prominent on his face.

“I’m not young! I’m four years old!”

“Well everyone else is five. Only five year olds are allowed to play this game.”

The group of kids ran away from you, not giving you the chance to respond. You pouted and crossed your arms over your chest as you watched the others run around, laughing and having a good time. As you were about to get over the sadness and loneliness you felt, someone knocked into you, pushing you to the ground. You instantly started crying from the impact, a stinging feeling slowly approaching your right palm.

“Move out of the way!” the kid exclaimed before running off.

You sat there on the pavement, tears rolling down your chubby cheeks as you wailed as loud as your lungs allowed, catching the attention of a boy sitting in the dirt looking for bugs. He stared at you with confusion, quickly becoming curious as to why this girl was crying in the middle of the playground.

He stood up and brushed the dirt off of his shorts before making his way to you, but you were too in your element to notice.

“What’s wrong?” Your head whipped up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. Your eyes fell upon a boy your age with dirt clung to his clothes and his raven hair pointing in every direction possible. You looked at him with big eyes while showing him your scraped hand. He grabbed your hand with his own and observed it closely like a doctor would. After examining it for a short few seconds, he placed a light kiss near the wound.

“There! All better!” He exclaimed, noticing how the tears had stopped forming in your eyes. “Do you wanna help me look for bugs?” He asked you, pointing to his little setup in the dirt not far away from where you were sitting. The bright light that was once in your eyes returned at his invitation. You nodded your head eagerly before he helped you off the ground and led you to his spot in the dirt.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, by the way.”

“I’m Y/N,” you replied with a smile on your face, happy to have made your first friend.

You loved Kuroo at the age of seven, the age when the two of you shared your first kiss. You had recently gone to a wedding with your mom, confused as to why hundreds of people were gathered to watch two people stand in front of the crowd and talk to each other. It wasn’t until they read the vows that you decided to pay attention. You didn’t understand much of what they were saying, but one thing you noticed was the repetitive phrases, “you’re my best friend,” and “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The only thing that you could think of was, oh, then Kuroo and I should get married.

It made perfect sense in your seven year old brain. Kuroo was your best only friend, and spending the rest of your life with him didn’t sound so bad, even though he could be super annoying.

On that same day when you returned home from the wedding, you were quick to run over to Kuroo’s house, which was conveniently two houses to the left of yours. You knocked eagerly on the front door, waiting for his mom to let you inside. When she opened the door, she greeted you with a big smile.

“Well don’t you look pretty in your fancy dress! What’s the occasion?”

“Tetsu and I are going to get married!”

Shock flashed across her features for a brief second, but was soon replaced with another smile and a small chuckle.

“Is that so? Well, you better go tell him to get ready!”

She opened the door wide enough for you to enter. You went straight to Kuroo’s room, his door already open to see that he was playing a game on his DS. You jumped onto Kuroo’s bed on the empty spot next to him.

“Tetsu, you have to get ready,” you started, paying interest in the game he was playing.

“Ready for what?”

“We’re getting married.”

“Isn’t that for grown ups or something?” he asked, focus still locked on the console in his hands. You pouted.

“No, it’s for best friends. I’m your best friend, aren’t I?” You looked at him expectantly, hands placed sassily on your hips. Those words caught his attention, looking up from his game for the first time since you got there.

“Of course, you stupidhead,” he replied, giving you a little flick on the forehead. He shut off the DS and tossed it next to him before getting up. He grabbed your arm and dragged you out of his room and started to close the door.

“Hey! What are you doing?” You asked, holding your hand out to stop the door from closing any further. He opened it so you were once again in his line of sight.

“I’m getting ready. I thought you said we’re getting married,” he said before closing the door. You grinned from ear to ear before running outside to Kuroo’s backyard, waiting for him to join you. You walked over to the yaezakura tree that was planted in the corner of the yard, picking up two of the many flowers that scattered the grass.

You ran back over to Kuroo when you heard him come outside. He had on a pair of jeans with a long-sleeve button up, styled with a red bow tie. His hair was still in it’s normal messy state, but you didn’t mind.

“So, what do we do now?” he asked, rocking back and forth on his feet.

“Oh,” you muttered before grabbing his right hand and placing one of the flowers in it. You then took the flower that was still in your possession and tucked it behind his ear, smiling at the pink that started to tint his cheeks. You leaned in closer to him, turning your head to the side to signal for him to do the same to you. He stood still for a second before bringing his hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear and place the flower.

“Now we have to kiss!” you exclaimed, closing your eyes and puckering your lips. You stood there waiting for his lips to meet your own, but seconds passed and nothing happened. Your eyes slowly opened to see Kuroo, the pink once again flooding his face as he was averting from your gaze. You giggled slightly before grabbing his face in your hands, making him stare into your eyes before pressing a big, sloppy kiss to his lips.

Both of your faces became red with embarrassment. Of course it wasn’t the best first kiss, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

You loved Kuroo when you were eleven, when he gave you your first handmade gift. Although he was one of your only friends, you never failed to have amazing birthdays. There have definitely been years where he was the only one who showed up to your party, but you didn’t mind. He was the only one that you needed there anyways.

This was the first year that you didn’t have a party. You realized that hanging out with Kuroo was the only thing that made you happy on your birthday, so you didn’t feel the need to invite other people and have a big celebration. All you wanted to do on your eleventh birthday was see Kuroo, watch a bunch of movies, and eat way too much junk food.

When he arrived at your house he greeted you with a smile and a hug.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N! Here, this is for you,” he said excitedly while handing you a small ceramic sculpture. “I know it’s not the best, but I wanted to make something for you.”

You held the sculpture lightly in your palms, careful not to put too much pressure in any spot in particular. It was a model of a girl, one that resembled you, sitting on a bench petting a cat. It wasn’t the prettiest, definitely the work of a twelve year old boy, but you thought it was absolutely breathtaking. You admired the detail he put in your appearance, your hair flowing perfectly and your clothes wrinkling in all of the correct places. You couldn’t help but let a tear roll down your cheek. You had never received a handmade present, a present made with so much thought and so much love. You gently placed the sculpture on the table beside you and tackled Kuroo into a hug.

“I love it. Thank you,” you whisper into his neck, your tears falling and soaking his shirt.

Since that day, that sculpture has made a home on your bedside table, somewhere where you can always see it. Kuroo gifted you your first handmade present, the first present that made you feel love.

You loved Kuroo at fourteen, the age when you first started high school. Kuroo had graduated from middle school the year before you, leaving you to fend for yourself during that past year. Now that you were also a middle school graduate, you were finally back at the same school as your best friend. Although you didn’t have any classes together because of your differing ages, you were glad to be able to see him in the halls and during lunch.

It was your first day and it was taking some getting used to, but you loved the change. You were finally reaching the years that were approaching adulthood, and you found it thrilling. You hadn’t seen Kuroo all day, but you were looking forward to your lunch plans. He had told you to meet him at his locker after third period so you could walk to the cafeteria together.

The bell rang, signaling the end of third period. You shuffled out of the classroom and made your way to your locker, wanting to drop off your textbooks to lighten the load. When you closed the metal door, you were met with the face of an unfamiliar boy. He had golden blonde hair that was slicked back, his brown roots peaking through. A smirk was present on his face as he leaned his shoulder against the lockers, his eyes roaming your body.

“Hey there, pretty girl. You new here?” he flirted. You caught eye of his pierced tongue as he spoke.

“Um, yeah. I’m a freshman,” you reply shyly. You couldn’t deny that the boy in front of you was extremely attractive, but you unconsciously shifted in place at the way his eyes seemed to devour you.

“Wow, a freshman? And you’re already this beautiful?” the comments effortlessly left his lips. You wondered how many times he’s used that line on other girls. He took a step towards you while saying, “Well since you’re new here, why don’t I show you around the school? We can get to know each other,” caressing your arm in the process. You were starting to feel even more uncomfortable at the physical touch, but didn’t know how to tell him off without being disrespectful to your senior.

“No that’s okay. I know my way around the school pretty well,” you replied as a chuckle escaped your lips.

“Then what do you say we get out of here and learn more about each other?” With every word he seemed to be inching closer.

“I have plans.”

“Really? With who?”

“With me.”

Your head snapped to the direction of the familiar voice, the voice of the person you wished would save you in a situation like that. Kuroo had a mixture of anger and annoyance painted on his face, he was burning holes into those of the golden haired boy. Kuroo approached the two of you and grabbed your hand, pulling you into his side.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Kuroo’s grip was firm as he pulled you away from the situation and down the hall. You felt your heart beat faster in your chest, but you decided to blame it on the adrenaline you felt from the prior interaction. Once you were far enough away, you both slowed down your pace. As you continued your walk to the cafeteria, you looked up at Kuroo.

“Thanks for saving me back there. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there.”

“You dummy. You need to learn how to be more stern. What’s going to happen when I graduate and move to college? I’m not going to be there to protect you.”

“Aw, is Tetsu Tetsu worried about me? I didn’t know you were so caring,” you teased, both of your cheeks becoming a tint of red, but neither of you seemed to notice each other’s.

“Whatever,” he mumbled back.

You continued to make small talk on the way to the cafeteria, your hand still unknowingly holding onto his. Thanks to Kuroo, your first day of high school wasn’t all that bad.

You loved Kuroo at sixteen, the age when you first saw him play in a volleyball match. You felt guilty that you had never seen Kuroo play in a real match before because of your conflicting schedule, but it was better late than never. You sat in the front row of the stands, eyes never leaving the raven haired boy. You loved the way his eyes would shine when he made a good block, or the way he would always encourage his teammates when they were feeling down. His passion for the sport was radiating off of him, and it made you so happy to be able to see him doing the thing he loved the most.

The game was exciting to say the least, the score fluctuating back and forth between the two teams. You tried not to notice the fluttering in your heart when Kuroo would glance your way after scoring a point. It’s just the adrenaline.

Once the game ended in a victory for your school, you made your way downstairs and into the gym. Your eyes scanned the crowd for your best friend, finding his tall figure relatively easily. You ran up to him and engulfed him in a bone crushing hug, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck. You caught him off guard by the sudden display of affection, but he returned the hug by snaking his arms around your waist. He was sweaty and smelt like such, but for once, you didn’t seem to care. You pulled away slightly to look at him, your arms still locked around his neck.

“You guys did amazing! Especially Kenma and Yaku, I think they totally stole the show,” you comment, intending to push his buttons. He glared at you, tightening his grip around your waist.

“Take it back,” he snarled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You gave him your most innocent look.

“Take what back?”

You let out a small yelp when he threw you over his shoulder and started running around the gym, spinning and leaping a few times to give the ride even more of a thrill.

“Kuroo Tetsurou! Put me down right now!”

“Not until you say that I was the best player in the game,” he stilled for a moment awaiting your response, and when you didn’t give one, he resumed his actions.

“Okay, okay! You were the best one out there, I promise! I was only watching you the whole time!” you pleaded, hoping that he would give you the pleasure of having your feet back on the ground. He pondered for a moment before placing you back on your feet, his hands once again found their way around your waist and yours around his neck.

The two of you couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles, thinking about how crazy and stupid you must’ve looked to the people around you.

After your laughter died down, the two of you stared at each other. You couldn’t help but admire him and all of his features, he really was handsome. You found comfort in his hazel eyes, always seeming to get lost in them; and his soft hair always looked like it was asking you to rake your hands through it. You loved when his lips would form into a genuine smile instead of his typical smirk, and loved it when he would laugh his loud, incredibly obnoxious laugh. You loved everything about him, but that’s how everyone feels about their best friend, right?

You realized that you were staring at him for who knows how long. You released your grasp from around his neck and took a step back, your face was soon to become hot. Now you could look anywhere but him.

“Let’s go get some ice cream, I’ll buy,” you offered excitedly, trying to be rid of the embarrassment that was nipping at you. Kuroo hummed in agreement and draped his arm around your shoulder, dragging you out of the gym and in the direction of the nearby ice cream parlor.

───

You’re eighteen when you realize that you love him.

Your gaze is still stuck on him, unsure if your eyes are playing tricks on you or not.

“Kuroo, what are you doing here? I thought you had a volleyball match.”

“You really think I would miss your graduation?” he teases, wearing the same smirk that you’ve come accustomed to over the past fourteen years. He walks towards you, extending his arm for you to grab the bouquet of flowers. “You look beautiful, by the way,” he compliments, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I missed you,” you whisper, a silent tear rolling down your cheek. You almost forgot what it felt like to be in his presence, for him to be standing right in front of you. The warm, swirling feeling returned as you stared into his eyes; the same feeling you’ve always had when he was around. The feeling of love.

“I missed you too, like crazy.”

You drop the beautiful bouquet on the ground, hands reaching up to cup his face. You allow your thumbs to run softly over his cheekbones, eyes staring into his golden ones, the ones you want to stare into forever. The space that separates the two of you is slowly getting smaller as you bring his face to yours and lock your lips together. It was just like the first kiss you had shared together but filled with more passion, more love. It was then that you realize that this is where you’re meant to be, in his embrace.

Kuroo is quick to kiss you back, hands finding a place on your hips. He pulls you closer and deepens the kiss slightly before pulling away and resting his forehead on yours. Neither of you say a word, both knowing what the other is thinking. He gives you a small smile which you return before connecting your lips once more. Over the years the two of you shared a lot of firsts, but nothing could beat this moment; the moment where you realize he is your first love.

───

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[trentaafcsblog]

Mummy, Daddy, Me

Dominic Calvert-Lewin

It was always just you and your little girl, ‘forever and always’ you’d tell each other every single day. The two of you building your own little world and developing a bond that could never be broken, no matter what life threw in your direction.

She’d only ever known it to be her and mummy, she wasn’t wasn’t aware of the pain you’d gone through with her dad, the way he’d treated you, the way he’d made you view yourself, the way he literally packed his bags and left when you found out you were pregnant, but she never let it bother her. Of course she asked questions as to where her daddy was when she’d see all of the other children with their parents in the playground, or when it got to Fathers Day and she didn’t have anybody to give the card she made at school to, but she loved it just being you and her. Telling all of her friends about the little adventures you’d go on at the weekends, all of the fun things you’d do together after school, the ‘princess castle’ you’d promised her you’d live in together when you’d saved enough money. Everything you did was for her, and everything she did was for you, it was a mummy-daughter team that you were part of, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

You worked at a little cafe just outside of Liverpool. You weren’t the biggest fan of your job, but it gave you enough money to be able to own your own house and give your little girl everything she’d ever wanted. You’d be lying to yourself if you said it wasn’t tough, the early morning starts and all of the school shows you’d have to miss because you couldn’t afford to take time off, but everything seemed worth it when you saw your daughter’s face light up when you took her to Disneyland, or when you sat and watched her perform like an angel in her ballet classes, or when she’d tell you that you were ‘the bestest mummy ever, ever, ever’. And something, or someone, else seemed to make your job a little bit more bearable too.

You knew you recognised his face from somewhere when he first came into the cafe. All of the other ladies gushing over how gorgeous he was as they tried their best to make conversation with him about his upcoming games, despite never being interested in football in their entire lives. But no amount of ‘football’ chat could seem to distract him from you, always watching you intently as you rush around making several teas, coffees and orange juices before cleaning down the tables, seeing you smile at all of the customers and give your regulars a cheeky wink, smiling to himself when someone would make you laugh, your giggle making his heart melt and butterflies erupt in his tummy.

It was as though all of his Christmases had come at once when he walked in one morning and was served by you, something he’d secretly been hoping for ever since he first set foot in the cafe, but his heart would quickly drop when he’d see you serving someone else or carrying several plates to and from the tables. Your eyes immediately locking with his when he reached the counter, a shy smile appearing on both of your faces as the two of you go to talk at the same time. An awkward ‘sorry’ leaving your mouth as he tells you his order, trying your best to hide the blush that was taking over your cheeks. Stuttering when he says that he wants to sit in, something you’d never seen him do before as you stare back at him with a slightly confused look. A breathy chuckle coming from his lips before you’re apologising again and carrying his coffee over to his table. Subtly writing his number on the receipt and slipping it into your pocket without you noticing, something you discovered when you got home that later that night. A smile growing on your face because you knew exactly who it was from, even though there was no name, so you’re sending a cheeky text, not really expecting a reply because you’d assumed he’d be busy texting the other girls that he’d given his number to, but you were wrong, completely wrong.

Three years later and you’d moved in with him, something you never saw coming when you watched him walk through the cafe door for the first time, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. He was the most amazing person with the best intentions, and he’d treated you better than you ever could’ve imagined, not to mention the way he got on with your little girl. She was a bit hesitant at first, not really understanding why mummy would want someone else in her life when you’d said it was just you and her until the very end, and you completely understood that, but it didn’t take very long for her to come out of her shell. Always asking if he was coming over for dinner and when he’d next play princesses with her, the two of them developing a bond that you knew would never be broken. Dom taking her under his wing and treating her like his own, always coming back from training and surprising her with little treats, spoiling her rotten at any given opportunity and showing her the type of love that she’d never experienced from a father figure before, something you were eternally grateful for.

The two of you would still go out on your mummy-daughter dates every week, and you tried your best to keep it as ‘normal’ as possible, not wanting your little girl to feel second best to the new person in your life. You constantly told her to let you know how she was feeling about Dom, because at the end of the day, she was your first proper love and all you ever wanted was for her to be happy, and you always felt guilty that she might not be as happy as you were, but she proved you wrong. She’d always come running up to you and whisper things about him in your ear, not wanting him to hear what she had to say because she was so shy - “Dom’s so funny, mummy”, “Dom’s my best friend”, “Dom said you look really pretty today” - but everything she had to say was positive, and deep down you knew it would be, there wasn’t a bad bone in his body.

When her birthday was coming up, he kept making hundreds of ‘secret’ phone calls, not even letting you in on what he was planning. Your little girl full of confusion whenever he’d rush off to answer his phone or there’d be lots of boxes arriving on the doorstep. Dom insisting that you took her out one day for a mummy-daughter date, giving you very specific times that you were supposed to be out of the house for, deciding not to question what he was doing, despite being full of anxiety. Catching him waiting for the two of you to get home as he’s taking your little girl’s hand and leading her out to the back garden. Her mouth dropping when she sees what he’s had made for her, yours doing exactly the same thing as tears fill your eyes. Dom pulling you into his chest as your little girl clings onto his leg, a quiet ‘thank you’ leaving her mouth as she takes in what’s in front of her.

“It’s only right that the birthday princess has her very own princess castle, isn’t it?” he’s saying as he crouches down to her level, her head nodding as she reaches out for a cuddle.

The ‘princess castle’ being exactly how the two of you had planned it ready for when you’d managed to save enough money, a dream that seemed so far away for so long, but Dom had given it to you. A huge white door that had a gold handle on it, flowers growing out of the windowsills, pink turrets that had gold glitter painted on the tops, a little kitchen inside so your little girl could pretend to be mummy at work, a tiny table with two chairs so you could sit and do your arts and crafts together, photos of the two of you hanging on the walls that reminded you of the journey you’d been on together so far, a slide coming out of one of the windows so that you could ‘escape the scary monsters’, a cupboard full of lots of princess dresses and sparkly shoes - it was literally perfect.

She’s holding onto his hand as he shows her around the inside, her smile managing to grow even wider when she discovers something new. Standing in the doorway as you watch your two favourite people explore the dream you had planned for ages, cuddling up on the sofa together as she takes in everything around her.

“Please be my daddy” she’s saying quietly, her big brown eyes meeting his as she fiddles with the strings on his hoodie, watching him intently as she waits for his response.

“Of course I’ll be your daddy” he’s saying, watching a little shy smile creep onto her face before he’s pulling her even closer, his eyes glassing over with tears as he looks up at you.

Opening his other arm out as you cuddle into his side, your little girl getting up off the sofa and making more room for you as she goes and sits at the table. You and Dom watching her as she gets up and sticks a drawing on the wall. A picture of two princesses and Prince Charming with the caption ‘Mummy, Daddy, Me’ - and that’s exactly what it was now, forever and always.

[cowandcalf]

Writer’s Month 2020 - To Find A Way

Prompt No. 21 - Family Part I

Chapters 1 - 10

Chapter 11

Danny still feels the rush of nervousness when Steve has made it clear he wanted to spend time with him and Grace at the beach, at home where he grew up. This is big. This implies family and a future. Danny wants it. He wants everything. He wants to have days and years ahead of them. This day symbolizes a milestone.  And… and they are only going steady for a week, a week. What a stupid expression but seriously, they're only together for seven freaking days! Good Gracious, but to Danny, it feels as if they'd picked up where they have left off in another life. It must be something like that. Steve shared Kamekona's insanely ridiculous comment after a hot night. In the darkness, sweaty, their legs entangled and with a soft press of Steve's lips to his chest, Danny learned that Kawika and Kame think Steve and he are soulmates.

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Danny's heartbeat tells him he believes in this weird spiritual crap. The way Steve and he go at it just tells that the guys are right about it. This isn't normal. It's not normal how he misses Steve when he's at work. It grazes madness the way he breaks every traffic rule just to get as fast as possible to his man. Gosh, Danny feels like he's sixteen again and so madly in love.

Steve always waits for him at the flower shop no matter the time. When Danny walks through the door Steve greets him by pressing him up against the nearest wall before he kicks the door shut. Danny drowns in Steve's gasps and whispered words. They make love and they fuck on every surface available. They eat in between, feed each other only to end up in bed exhausted, satisfied, and with new bruises and scratches from the various pieces of furniture in Steve's jungle house.

But today is the kind of special that adds a new depth to what they already have.

Today is beach day. Steve has waited for this day from the moment he has told Danny about the color turquoise he plans to paint the walls in Grace's room. The room he plans to put up at his house. All week-long, Steve has been out here to get everything ready for Grace. He has kept everything a big secret. Danny is still overwhelmed by Steve's devotion and the sheer force he makes things happen.

Danny still can't believe how fast everything turns into this let's-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together thing. He's not scared. Maybe he should be scared because they've skipped having any date at all only to jump right at fucking each other's brains out to steer toward having a family day at Steve's parent's house where he lives. That's… intense especially for Danny but he's not worried. No, in fact, he's as calm as a sleeping whale. He and Steve click like nothing he has ever experienced. And he loves this guy with almost an angry seriousness and that scares him sometimes. Because at this point, Danny knows there will never ever be anyone else but Steve.

And Danny has brought Grace to the game like from 'zero hour' and that's something he has never done with any of his former dates. Never. As if he had a choice. Jesus. He ran into Steve at the hospital. In a blink of an eye, Steve and his little girl have bonded over doing a game on the seesaw on a children's playground. And Grace has turned into that center from where Steve's world has started to grow into a completely new dimension. Danny isn't a nervous wreck over the possibility his baby girl could get hurt over them breaking up. Danny knows hell is going to freeze over before he and Steve won't make this relationship work. Because that's what this is. They don't name that huge intimate thing that grows every day into so much more. It just is and they know it. Danny would freaking marry this wild beast of a wonderful man on the spot if he asked him. So, yes, his mental health floats in a sphere he hasn't known existed.

"Do you have everything you need?" Danny calls from the kitchen. He washes salad in the sink, standing in Steve's kitchen, and picks the limp leaves to heap them up on the countertop. He dries his hands on a dish towel he has thrown over his shoulder.

Grace runs into the kitchen right up to him. She wraps her arms around his legs. "Steve has bought everything, Danno." She tells him excitedly. "He has sand shovels, a pink sand sifter, a blue pail, a green one, and a red pail for the water. And – and a lot of plastic forms. Big ones and small ones and there is a dolphin and a mermaid and fish." She bends her head back and looks up at Danny. Her face is in awe.

Danny lifts her up to have a father-daughter talk. "He showed me. I guess Steve has bought the best pieces to build the greatest sandcastle of Hawaii just for you. He wants you to have fun. You okay with that, Monkey? To be outside with Steve at the beach?"

"Uh-huh," Grace's head wobbles with eyes big and joyful.

"I stay in the kitchen for a bit and prepare lunch, okay?" Danny knows Grace is going to be fine but he's not so sure he's ready for this challenge. He wants to be though. The vastness of the ocean scares him and all the horror movies with giant sharks roll through is mind. "You call me if you need something or you'll tell Steve, okay? He's taking good care of you."

"Yes," she answers and writhes like a snake in his arms. "I wanna go outside, Danno."

"Where's Steve?" He knows how important it is for Steve to dig around in the sand with Grace, to hear her laugh, and to see her joy. He knows that but still, it's Grace and there are tons of seawater rolling in steadily a few feet from where they want to build the sandcastle.

"He says he wants to get the towels." She runs out of the kitchen but comes right back. "Steve said he bought a turtle for me." Grace shouts breathlessly.

Danny smiles with eyes as big as saucers. "He bought a turtle for you? A living animal?"

Grace giggles and storms back into the kitchen. "No! Danno! A sun umbrella that looks like a turtle!" She's out of breath and leans against the chair.

Danny can't really grasp all the small events that have turned their lives upside down. During the last week, he hasn't slept one night at his apartment. And he spends all his spare time with Steve. It's been a whirlwind of emotional and colorful days.

"Danno!" Grace calls over to him. "I said Steve has a turtle umbrella for me."

Danny snaps out of his reverie. "Sorry Monkey, I got lost in thoughts." He strokes her hair, "a turtle umbrella! Wow! That sounds awesome. Why don't you show me?"

"Okay," Grace plucks at her bathing suit with the flower print. "I'm hungry."

"Do you like a sandwich? Ham and cheese with tomatoes? Yeah?" Danny cuts one of the prepared Jersey sandwiches in half. He hands her the plate. "Here Monkey, one is for Steve. Lunch is ready in an hour. You gonna start with – with what? Digging holes?"

"Come, I'll show you," Grace takes the plate and walks out the door. "Steve said we'll make a big castle and we dig a deep ditch so the water can stream right in. He said the waves will fill the ditch and it's fun to watch."

Danny's heart overflows with happiness seeing his little girl so excited about something. He worries way too much. They'll be fine having a wonderful beach day without him playing watchdog. "Where's your hat, Gracie? And what about your fancy sunglasses? Don't you want to put them on?" Danny follows her into the living room where he has put their luggage.

"Have you found your glasses?" Danny steps up to where his daughter kneels on the floor. He crouches down beside her.

She goes through the sports bag Danny has packed to bring to Steve's house. It's a big house with big rooms but it looks strangely empty and abandoned in some way. Steve spends more time at the flower shop than at his parent's house that is his real home. Mary and Kawika live right next door. Danny thinks it's beautiful to have a sister living so close by, her backyard only a few minutes down the beach. Steve could drop by any minute to have a chat, have breakfast together.

"Got it!" Grace shouts and shoves the pink flowery shades over her nose.

"You look like a beach lady with big plans." Danny takes the plate with the sandwich. "Come, let's go and see what's Steve up to all alone at the beach."

Grace dashes out the door before Danny can ask about the sunblock and the extra shirt.

Steve puts up the second sunshade right next to the turtle one. "Hey, Danno, shall I cream Gracie with sun cream?"

"I don't want it." Grace says, already busy with the buckets. "It's sticky and makes all the sand stay on my arms and knees." She whines a little and picks up the little shovel.

"It's hot out here, Grace. You have tender skin. We can't leave it unprotected." Steve explains with a gentle voice. "Let Danno decide what's best for you, okay? I'll put on some cream too if this makes you feel better?" Steve suggests and bites heartily into a juicy half of Danny's favorite Jersey sandwiches. "Ah, it tastes awesome." He keeps a distance and just gifts him with a smile.

Danny knows Steve's insecure how much affections he's allowed to share in front of Grace. "I take pride in prepping the most authentic New Jersey sandwiches. You're welcome." He winks and makes sure to hold Steve's gaze. "Grace, come do me a favor and put on this shirt. We can't have you catch a sunburn. That hurts and it's not good for your skin. And your mommy wouldn't be pleased with me."

Grace is digging, too busy to even reply. She stretches her arms over her head and let Danny put on the white, light shirt. "That's better, Monkey."

Steve also pulls a shirt over his head. "Look, Grace, partner look. See? I wear a shirt too. It's simple, effective sun protection." He darts another smile over at Danny. "You okay with me and Grace out here, Danny?" He drops to his knees next to Grace where she's busy digging holes and filling the plastic forms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Danny bends down and adjusts Grace's hat. He kisses the top of her head and leans over to press a soft kiss to Steve's head, too. Grace doesn't even notice. Steve's warm hand caresses Danny's calf. "I'll be inside and prepare lunch. You'll shout if you need anything." Danny points a finger at Steve. "You take care of my little girl and don't let her be in the sun too long. Take breaks and come visit me some time so I know you haven't been washed out with the surf to God knows where."

Steve gifts him with an epic eye-roll. "Danny, I'm a SEAL and I spent my childhood at this beach. It's Hawaii and I know the rhythm of the tides like the back of my hand."

Danny wiggles with his index finger. "SEAL or no SEAL, you show up at the kitchen after an hour." He juts his chin in Steve's direction. "Is this understood?"

"Sure," Steve answers with a forced chuckle. "Your wish is my command."

"Hey," Danny makes Steve look at him, "I trust you." He emphasizes again.

Danny knows Steve's overeager to get it right for Grace and him. Danny's not as relaxed as he wished to be but he chooses a lighthearted voice to show Steve he's okay with him looking after his daughter. "Good. Have fun then." Danny turns and is about to walk back to the house. He taps the beaten wooden chair lightly and calls over his shoulder. "Steve, don't go swimming without the life vest on. Please?" He can't help it.

Steve gives him the thumbs up but the next second he's deepened in a serious conversation with Grace. They've got big plans. Danny walks back to the house with a warmer feeling in his stomach. This is better. It's going to be alright.

The flap flap flap sound reaches Danny's inattentive ear halfway into cooking his mother's famous tomato sauce. The lasagna sheets and the béchamel sauce are ready. Steve's kitchen smells like an Italian restaurant. He nibs at a spoon full of sauce to check what misses. He tries hard to keep the attention directed to cooking. His gut tells him to go check up on what's going on at the beach. But he stays inside and squashes the itch to act like an overprotective father. Steve's going to do great by being the adult looking after Grace.

Flap flap flap.

Cheese. He has forgotten to take the Parmigiano Reggiano out of the fridge. That's the best cheese to grate on top of the dish once all layers are filled in. Danny talks in his head to distract himself. Some odd worry spreads into his stomach and he can't figure out why. He shuts his eyes and counts to ten before he rinses a spoon and a knife under the running water.

The sound of the helicopter seems to spread wide into the sky, and it's getting closer and louder. Danny lifts his head to look out of the window. He sees a banner with the lettering 'newly married John and Amanda' and a big red heart. Danny watches a moment, seeing how the small airplane crosses the sky followed by one helicopter. No, two. Gosh, three helicopters approach through the sky. Some rich dude makes his kid's wedding a day to remember. Why do they need to fly over this part of the beach? The pilot makes sure the guests get what they've paid for. They fly so close by Danny can read the logo on the birds. Freaking idiots.

Danny's heart jumps to his throat and the cutlery clatters when he drops it in the sink. Helicopters and loud whirring rotor blades. Not good! Steve! Shit, is this…? Danny spins around and rushes through a safety check to make sure nothing's going to burn or boil over before he dashes out of the kitchen. He's not half-way through the living room when he hears Grace's scared and high-pitched voice, filled with dread, shouting his name.

"Danno! Daddy!"

Grace doesn't ever, ever call him daddy unless she's terrified.

"Grace! Gracie! I'm here! I'm coming!" Danny yells. Spiking Fear gives him an instant headache. He tastes blood in his mouth his heart beats so hard and fast. Danny yanks the door the lanai open. "GRACE!"

Danny bolts forward. He sees his daughter's face in tears; eyes wide with fear. She throws herself into his arms. Danny catches her and carries her immediately inside. He needs to check on her first, to make sure, she's unharmed. "Grace-baby, it's fine. Danno's here. Are you hurt? God, what's up, Monkey?" He carries her trembling little body over to the couch and keeps her pressed to his chest. He whispers soothing words and strokes her back to calm her. She doesn't seem hurt. "Are you hurt, baby?" He tries again.

Grace tucks her face into his throat and shakes her head. She's hot and sweaty and pants from running so fast.

Danny holds her in his arms until her sobs calm down. Only then he realizes what she's wearing. A life vest and big towel is thrown over her shoulders like a cape. Two floatation aids are pulled over each of her upper arms. She still wears the hat but her sunglasses are gone. Danny undoes the knot of the towel. His hands shake terribly. He's legs are numb from the shock that something might have happened to his little girl. He still hears the fucking helicopters in the sky. The sound seems deafeningly loud. He feels his heartbeat in his tongue. "Monkey, hey, sweetheart," he kisses her tear-stained cheek. "Baby, where… where's Steve?" He whispers against her hair with his nerves strung tight.

TBC

[cofficionado]

Mutlu yıllar

"Of course I love you," the flower said to him. "It is my fault that you have not known it all the while. That is of no importance. But you - you have been just as foolish as I."

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince.

Serkan

'If the place has a sea view, then that is enough for me. It beckons at me every time I look at it.'

There was something wrong with Eda. She always said whatever was on her mind, but not in the last few days. Especially not that day.

She said that it was normal that as they spent time together, they shared a few things. It was only natural, she was the one who said that. And yet, he was having dinner with Selin on the night of his thirstiest birthday, and Eda was the one who arranged it.

Which is how he usually spent it, he sighed as he reminded himself.

It's just not how he wanted to spend it that year. There was something wrong with him too, as a matter of fact. He wasn't sure of what he wanted anymore. He hadn't been for some time if he was truly honest with himself. He looked at the sea view and realized that now it reminded him of Eda.      

What was she doing tonight? She said she had no plans. Was she at home?

'Serkan? Have you been waiting long?' He saw Selin sitting down in front of him out of the corner of his eye, not really looking at her.

He shook his head at her, 'No, I'm admiring the sea view. We're very privileged to be able to have it here. We have the sea right under us.'

'You come here all the time, you've seen this view plenty of times,' she looked at him as if she wasn't really sure it was him. He was becoming familiar with the feeling.

'You can't remember the view. It doesn't stay the same. Something always changes, the clouds, the light, the boat that sails by right over there. Look, was it there the last time you were here? There is always something to see, Serkan bey.'

Was that what this was about? She was just changing because the wind changed direction? Maybe she was just fed up with this game, with this contract. He knew she'd definitely had enough of him, she's said it plenty of times before. She was even counting down the days for the end of their agreement.

She probably had a calendar marked all red and black. He remembered what he did to his photo. He felt his lips twitch at the thought.

He nodded at her when she ordered him the salad he usually had whenever he was at that restaurant. Then they began their usual back and forth, he was used to Selin giving in to his ideas. Now, she always went head to head with him when it came to their business, and he was fine with it. He lived for those games, and Selin knew better than anyone how he operated, so they understood each other.

He just would not allow her to mess with Eda.

'What about Eda? Is she the right fit for you? Be honest.' If only she knew...

'Actually, she's not. But she's not the one who doesn't fit me. I am not right for her. I mean, she's already started to get tired of me. Or rather, she already is. I guess I'm just too boring for her.' Thankfully, their waiter brought their plates and they could move on from Eda. He didn't feel right discussing her with Selin.

The fuck of it was, he hadn't been bored for one day of his life ever since she put those cuffs on his wrist and drove his car so fast he barely remembered the drive to that hotel. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and thought for one brief second that it could be Eda.

He dismissed the thought at once. Why would she call him in the middle of the dinner with Selin that she arranged? He really needed to sort out his head. He looked at his screen and smiled.

'Hello, enişteciğim? İyi ki doğdun!'

'Melek.Thank you.' He realized it was his first genuine smile of the day.

'I told Eda that we should be throwing you the best party in the world. We were going to have fun until the sun came up, but Eda said you didn't like that at all.'

'Did she now?' So they did speak about his birthday...

'Evet, she said that you wouldn't want that, so I didn't say anything. This time. Next year, you're not running away from me. I'll throw you a party that you won't forget for the rest of your life, tamam?'

Next year. He felt his chest tighten and was grateful Melek was babbling on his ear, it was easier to ignore whatever it was that he was feeling.

'She didn't even tell us what she bought you!' He felt his eyebrows going up. What?

'Huh?'

'What? We spoke about how difficult it must have been for her to buy a gift to Serkan Bolat, you know what I'm saying? But she had this big deep green box, with a very beautiful wrapping. Didn't she give it to you?'

She did not. 'No, I guess there was no time, we had a busy day at work today. And she had to leave to sort out some important papers for me for a good portion of the day.'

Selin didn't look too happy that he was speaking with her assistant. Well, that made two of them. This was all wrong. He shouldn't have told Eda he was coming to this dinner.

'She said she found out about your birthday on social media. How could you not tell her, enişteciğim? She said you didn't celebrate your birthday and you didn't enjoy parties. Why is that? She said you wouldn't let anyone celebrate it. But she said she was going to find the time to give you her gift, for sure. Why don't you go find her? Are you still with Miss Selin? She said she couldn't find a place for you to go eat together that you'd approve. So, I suggested soup, since you're so healthy! Eda decided to go there have soup by herself because they have these very delicious recipes, I'll text you the address if you want to try and go find her there. Go get your present, enişteciğim!'

He was, he was curious to know what she got him.

He stood up and told Selin he was sorry but something came up and he needed to leave.

'But you barely touched your salad.'

'I'm not really hungry. I'm sorry, Selin. Next time.' But he didn't stay to hear her answer, he was already on his way to settle their bill and out of the restaurant.

~*~

She was right where Melek told him she'd be. He breathed easily for the first time that night. He walked up to her table and sat in front of her. He wished he could take a picture.

He managed to surprise Eda Yıldız.

'What are you doing here? Do you also know about this café? Do you have a little notebook with the names and addresses of the best places to eat? Serkan Bolat at a local café, just unbelievable.'

'Melek told me about it. She said the soup here was delicious and so I wanted to try it.' She looked beautiful. Then again, she was always beautiful but... there was a light in her eyes. Almost like in the day he played the guitar for her... almost.

'Why are you hungry? Didn't you have dinner with Selin?'

Selin. Of course.

'I did, but as you've once said, you only eat with your eyes in those types of restaurants.'

She smiled playfully at him. 'Who knows how much you paid for the meal, and yet you're still hungry.'

'Yes, I also thought I should be spending my birthday with my fiancée... otherwise, people will begin to suspect something is up,' it was his truth and he was sticking to it. 'What are you having?'

'Terbiye soup. I mean, terbiyeli soup. It's amazing. You should try it too,' she was a bit flustered, defending the honor of her soup. He was just happy she didn't seem to want him to leave. He didn't want to leave. It was his birthday and he realized that he wanted to be there, with Eda. After a bit more than a month, they had formed this kind of odd and unique friendship. She knew so much about him, she knew things he had forgotten about himself. And she brought out his competitive side in a different way. Like when they cooked together.

'Don't be afraid, you won't get poisoned. This is a very clean place. I've eaten here many many times and I'm still alive.'

'I think we've already gone over this on the market. I have strengthened my immune system. Excuse me, can I have what she's having, please?'

Eda asked him how things were with Selin. He knew what she meant, but he didn't want to talk about Selin. So, he didn't.

'Fine, it was good. And you chose a great restaurant, thank you very much.' He was sure she chose it because of the sea view, and he was grateful for it.

She smiled cheekily at him and he knew she was about to be sassy. She didn't let him down, 'great restaurant, huh? Then why are you here?'

He wanted to ask her if it was true that she spent time thinking of restaurants to take him for his birthday, if she had planned something for them to do together. But he knew he couldn't. They had this sort of unspoken agreement when it came to these matters. It was his own fault. He drew the line on the sand and he knew it.

Still, he couldn't help but be curious. Since he could not ask what he really wanted to know, he went with the most unoriginal thing he could think of on the stop, 'so how do you know this place?'

She looked around them nostalgically, 'see that hill right there? We went to school there, Melo and I, when we were children. One day, my aunt could not pick us up at the right time to leave, so she asked the director for us to stay there the whole afternoon. We ran around the playground for hours on end. Until we decided it was a brilliant idea to go down the kid's slide together.'

He smiled at her, being able to picture it clearly, two girls up to no good, 'did you get hurt?'

She nodded sheepishly at him, 'Melo hurt both her knees and I but my elbow. There was blood, we cried, and when my aunt finally got there, we were hugging each other with tears in our eyes.'

'Was she scared? Of seeing you both hurt at the same time?'

She shook her head and smiled at him, 'No, at least she didn't show us, she just said that this was what happened when one had too much fun. We should just learn when to stop. She said we should remember we all have our limits.'

Yes, we do. 'It's a piece of good advice.'

'It is, but we were too young to understand it, or we didn't want to, since we fell and got hurt plenty of other times. But, she did say she knew what would make us feel better since we couldn't play for a few days.'

'Soup?'

'Evet, she took us on this whole new route on the way back home to try some amazing magical soup. '

'Here?'

'Yes, it's a family restaurant. Maybe not magical, but it is special. Maybe it was her way of distracting us from our 'battle' wounds. I often wonder if she just didn't know what to do with the pair of us. She never showed. But I'm sure it couldn't have been easy.'

'Well, I believe she did a great job.' They had a beautiful loving family together.

She smiled at him and they kept on eating and talking about nothing and everything. When they looked up, they saw they were getting ready to close the restaurant. Serkan settled the bill and pretended not to hear when Eda claimed it was his birthday and she wanted it to be her treat.

She might get her way on a lot of occasions, but he wasn't budging on this one. When she saw his face, she decided to let it go. They thanked the owners and kept walking down to the stairs that led them to the street where both of their cars were.

'So, did you buy me a present? Melek said so,' their night was in the end so he decided to just ask for it.

She dropped her head back and looked up at the sky, 'I would be surprised if Melek had called you and said nothing. If you were to tell me, oh, by the way, Melek called me and wished me a happy birthday, I'd tell you it wasn't my Melo...'  When she saw he just kept looking at her, she sighed, 'It's just a little thing. It'll look funny next to all the gifts you were given, so never mind. It doesn't matter.'

He didn't even look at any of those gifs, why would she think he wouldn't want something she got him? He still wasn't used to seeing this side of her, 'I'm asking for my gift, I want it. Can I have it?'

There, a smile. Small, but a smile all the same. 'It's in the car. All right, you sit down. I'll go get it.'

Only Eda would think sitting on this floor in his clothes are okay but, he was the one who asked for his gift so, 'All right.'

She came back with a whole bunch of things, as he looked closer he almost didn't believe his eyes. She really was meaning to do something for him. She gestured with the box, 'here, will you hold it? It's yours.'

He took the box and looked at the other items she was arranging on her hands. 'Is that a bakery cupcake?'

She smiled at him,'evet. You don't eat sugar or sweets, so what difference would it make if it was the most delicious cake in the world, Serkan bey?'

He was still stuck on the fact she had a small candle on the cupcake, 'I see.' Maybe to other people it wouldn't look like it was anything special but for him, that was like she went all out.

'Mutlu yıllar♥. Make a wish. Something you want so so much and that you can't have. Or something that worries you and you want it go to awa-' she couldn't help it, she always had something to say.

'Eda. Ssshhhh.'  He looked at her and thought of how much happened between them. How much he learned after he met her. He knew it was all temporary. She was going to leave someday soon. Something he could't have... even in the middle of all the caos that was his life currently, he still could not help but wish for... her presence.

He blew the candle and lifted the box, 'now the gift.'

She nodded and waited for him to begin unwrapping the box, 'I thought, you know... what can you buy for someone who already has everything...'

He looked down and found a globe inside something that had an outlet, it looked like some sort of a lamp. He bet it would look great on his coffee table. She really had a very good eye for these types of designs. She'll be an amazing landscaper, one of the best, he was sure of it.

'So you got me the whole world, right?'

She asked him hesitantly, 'did you like it?'

How could she think he wouldn't like it? But she still looked unsure of him. He still had to figure out what happened to her that day. But they seemed to have reached a truce that night, so he wasn't going to mess with that. Their relationship was already complicated enough, their connection a fragile one.

So, he kissed her. Right on her dimple. It was a favorite spot of his. After her eyes. 'Thank you very much.'

Yes, their relationship was unique. And even though he didn't see it coming, she now meant a great deal to him. He asked her about her car.

He wanted to have it fixed. He hated her car. Not because it was an old car, or because it was a cheap one. But because it was always acting up on her and leaving her in a vulnerable position. It was not safe. He needed her to be safe.

It was as simple as that. He followed her home and waited until she got inside. He got home, plugged in his gift and saw that he was right. It looked great, like he knew it would. He saw it was getting close to midnight and went to get Sirius' collar to take him out to walk a little. His birthday was over, and it was the best one he'd had in some time.

And he was grateful to Eda.

It was what he wanted and he didn't know how to ask for it. Maybe he should begin to ask for what he wants, and he will. As soon as he figure it out.

https://my.w.tt/Ha2ThyaBLab

[hadestownmodern]

Baseball

Yes, hello. I’m so sorry. I’m disowning myself now.

The doc for this fic is titled “Get it, Eurydice. Home run” and that’s all you need to know.

(thanks for reading every single damn revision to this doc and supporting my wildin’ @dilforpheus you’re the true MVP)

-D ----------------

“I got you a present.” Eurydice’s eyes are glimmering with something that hits Orpheus’s heart head-on. It’s a shimmer that matches the curve of her lips, sly and inviting. 

“Wh-what is it? Why did you get me a present? It’s not my birthday,”

“Just.” She plops a paper grocery bag on the table, and at first he wonders when she’d had time to go to the store without him. He pulls the bag toward him by its handles and pauses; she’s taken the time to draw little white circles-baseballs-all over it. “Open it.” 

The draw of her voice-soft and deep, quiet and enticing, is enough to stop his questioning; Eurydice has sat herself on the corner of the counter, legs open and dangling over the edge. She tilts her head, watching him pull the white linen from the bag and unfurl it. His mouth opens slightly-confusion, she can tell by the way his fingers rub the fabric, his eyes wandering along it before meeting hers. 

“There’s more-open the rest.” She implores, leaning forward and resting on one hand. 

Orpheus nods, still lingering in a state of bewilderment, and pulls another white garment from the bag. That unfolding doesn’t help much either-Eurydice shakes her head as she watches him hold the baseball jersey up, examining it with careful consideration before deciding to crack the code herself. 

“Persephone was showing me pictures from when you did little league-she said you liked it back then. I figured it’d be fun to try your hand at it again.”

She hops from the counter and runs to the drawer of the little desk that sits in the corner of their living space, rifling through papers until she grins wildly. She crosses the distance back to him with the wind on her feet, practically skipping before putting the paper in his hand, running her arm along his bicep. 

“I’m on a team?”

“You’re on a team!” She repeats his words with bubbling excitement, kissing his shoulder. “Once or twice a week, depending on if there’s a game. Nothing serious, just fun! You’re always taking so much on for us, this is something just for you.” Eurydice watches on in adoration as he reads the paper again, lips moving along to the words he’s reading. One corner of his mouth turns up but the smile resides mostly in his eyes, light in color and shining in exuberance as he scoops her into a hug, lifting her feet from the ground.

“Thank you, ‘Rydice-this is so cool!”

“Go try it on!” Eurydice insists, slipping from his arms to push her husband to the bathroom. Her mouth drops when he comes out, long legs adjusting to walking in pants fit right around them. She is speechless as he brushes his hands down his shirt. 

“Do you think this fits right?” He asks, turning his legs and looking down at them curiously. Eurydice can hear his voice, but is unable to make out the words as her eyes fixate on the shape of his legs in the tighter-fitting pants. It isn’t until Orpheus turns around that Eurydice jumps from the counter, crossing her arms and looking him up and down with wide eyes and a smirk on her lips. 

“I don’t know,” she replies, shrugging her shoulders. “Turn around again?” 

He obliges, oblivious to the way she tilts her head, bites her bottom lip. 

He likes to wear his pants looser-with suspenders holding them up around his thinner waist. These pants hug his long legs, lift his butt and define its shape. And although she finds herself missing the shape of his suspenders over his shoulders-the easy pull they give her-she comes to the swift conclusion that she’ll manage without them. 

She doesn’t realize that Orpheus is talking until she looks up momentarily to see him staring back at her, turning his legs again. 

“So?” He asks, bouncing from one foot to the other. Eurydice takes a breath, nods and brings her hands boldly to his butt, drawing the distance between them closed with a powerful sort of haste. 

“They’re perfect.” 

Eurydice cranes her neck to reach the space just on the corner of his jaw, letting out a sigh before kissing it lightly. She uses her hands to keep him close to her, squeezing, unused to the feeling of tight fitting linen-unguarding-showing him off. 

She paints the canvas of his stubble with a line of breathy kisses, feels his hands on her back, holding her. Her tongue brushes along the space between his lips, and a soft whimper leaves his body. She smiles, pushing herself against him until his back hits the counter, small hands working fervently to untuck his shirt. 

“Why the fuck do you have to wear a belt?” It’s more of a curse to herself as she struggles to get her hands underneath his shirt, a gasp of a sentence as Orpheus takes the opportunity of her fumbling to bring his attention to her neck, the skin that makes her shiver whenever she feels his feather-light kisses. His hands find their space right at her lower back, where he can feel the weakness in her knees as she moves forward on her toes, tilting her head in a silent plea for him to continue. She’s found her way under his shirt, made her way about running her small hands along memorized territory with the well-practiced brush of her nails. Orpheus’s involuntary squeak is enough for Eurydice to begin working on his belt; she’s not used to this. Usually, there are only suspenders; those which she can pull demandingly, satisfyingly. This new state of fashion causes frustration. Eurydice nearly buckles under Orpheus’s wandering hands, losing concentration fast. Just as the belt comes apart with a satisfying tug of leather through linen a tiny, innocent whimper comes from the other room.

“Damnit,” she whispers against his lips as she regrettably lets him go, runs a hand through her hair as she runs to retrieve their crying baby. 

…

The first game goes about as well as it could with a grouping of adults with little to no skill; Orpheus’s team is comprised of a few men from the bar, a bassist from the band, and a couple of business men from downtown looking for a way to let off steam. They were all little leaguers, most of which played more games than Orpheus ever would. He was happy, though, chatting animatedly with his team. He does more socializing than playing, although there were moments where he’d find his sense of rapid, consuming focus. 

Orpheus is good at catching the ball-that much can be said. His hand-eye coordination, well practiced from years of guitar playing, has come in handy although the skills themselves are quite different. Other than that achievement, however, there is not much else going for him. He is clumsy and stumbling when running to get the ball, awkward and fumbling when attempting to bat. Eurydice is proud of him nevertheless, her overwhelming attraction to his uniform and his soft, boyish smile completely blinding her to his lack of skill.

When the first game is over, Eurydice hauls herself over to where the teams are high-fiving, waits impatiently for him at the gate with Melody in tow. He kisses Eurydice with his hand on the small of her back, and Melody reaches her chubby hands up to him. He takes her, greets her with his sing-song voice and glimmering eyes, holds her face up to his and squishes her cheeks as he covers them in kisses. 

“So?” He widens his eyes slightly in question, lifting his shoulders and looking out at the baseball diamond. He waits anxiously for her opinion, his wife, as she looks over his sweaty complexion. He takes his hat off, runs his fingers through his hair and tousles it so that it falls in all directions. 

“So,” Eurydice responds, biting her lip and holding her hands out for their daughter. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

He gives Melody back to her, confused as he watches her walk away again. Eurydice finds her way to Persephone, who is sitting contentedly on a bench, watching Junie play on the playground. She waves as Eurydice approaches, pats the space next to her on the bench. 

“Where’s the baseball superstar?” She teases, clapping affectionately at Junie as she twirls around in the grass. Eurydice bites her lower lip, rocking back and forth on her heels. 

“I was hoping you could do me a favor…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Just. I have to pee and I don’t want to take her into this bathroom-can you watch her a sec?”

Persephone does not believe her younger counterpart for a second, but nods her head and holds out her hands anyway. Challenging, she looks at Eurydice through lowered eyelids. 

“You have five minutes.”

“Five??”

“Five.” She is firm as Junie scrambles over to her on her little legs, leans forward and kisses Melody’s head affectionately. Eurydice pouts-only slight;y-but just enough for Persephone to catch. “Pout at me and you don’t get anything.”

“Fine.” Eurydice turns on her heel and makes her way back to the gate, walking as fast as she believes can be considered normal. The sight she sees there has her rolling her eyes again, slowing her pace slightly as she throws her arms into the sky.

“Are you kidding me, Orpheus?” He husband turns to wave at her, the grin on his face endearing and innocent. He has a snowcone in his hand-a rainbow one, to be exact-and he holds it out to her excitedly.

“Look what they gave us!” Eurydice is able to make herself seem much taller in stature when she’s upset; she crosses her arms over her chest before gesturing wildly to his snowcone, then looking up at him with disappointment.

“Do you think this is the time for a snowcone? I asked you to wait here, took our daughter away, and you really thought it’d be the best time for some fucking flavored ice.”

“I...what?” 

Eurydice groans, takes two wide steps to close the distance between them. She lifts herself up on her toes, using his shoulders as support as she whispers in his ear.

“I don’t give a damn about your snowcone. Come on, we have four minutes.” Boldly, Eurydice knocks the snowcone from Orpheus’s hand and pulls him, the stark comparison of such a small girl pulling this lanky, beanpole of a man behind her humorous if not for the look of undisturbed focus behind her dark eyes. She brings him to the first spot she can find, instructs him to duck his head down before pulling his arm hard, his body bumping into hers clumsily.

“Sorry,” he squeaks, breathless as her hands have already found the hem of his pants. 

“Don’t apologize,” Eurydice hisses, taking hold of his hands and pressing them hard on her waist. “Just fuck me.” 

Orpheus feels his head begin to spin, the breath knocked out of his body by Eurydice’s fingers dropping under the waistband of his underwear. She moves hastily, clumsily, knowing the time limit as a challenge. She grins at his inability to control himself, his knees buckling and his soft tenor calling her name. He’s in just enough of a cognizant state to attempt a reciprocation, thankful for the ease of access her leggings allow. She sighs, tipping her head back; his name on her lips, attempting to be quiet and discreet, is a sound sweeter to his ears than any of the music he has played, and Orpheus can’t help his own sweet, lopsided smile.

There is a ringing that joins them, then, and Eurydice grabs hold of Orpheus’s cheeks as he begins to pull away from her.

“Fuck it,” she implores, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Let it ring.”

They do; Eurydice turns her attention to him fully, a sequence of unbuttoning and kissing bare skin in a trail down his chest. The ringing stops momentarily, then starts back up again at full volume, just as her lips have come to his hips. She looks up at him, letting out a deeply frustrated sigh before holding up a finger to her lips. 

“Yes, Seph?”

Eurydice can barely hear anything save the sound of her whimpering baby; it’s her mama cry, she knows it by the way the tears cause a slight hiccup in her voice. Shit, she swears as she picks herself up from the ground, biting hard on her lip.

“I’ll be there soon,” it’s all she can manage to say before she hangs the phone up, pulls up her leggings, and smooths her hair back down again. 

…

They’re sitting in the sun on the night of his fourth game-the team is coming along fantastically, gaining confidence in their abilities and actually racking up some points on the scoreboard. It’s an exciting ritual, attending baseball games once a week, but Eurydice has let herself become fully committed to being as supportive as possible, and that means the outward groan from Persephone when she, Junie, and Hades meet her at the apartment to go to the game.

“You really have to be like this…” It’s half question, half statement. Persephone very outwardly rolls her eyes, looking Eurydice up and down. She’s dressed in Orpheus’s second jersey, one that fits slightly loose and falls to her mid-thigh. She’s paired it with high socks and white sneakers, leaving a fair expanse of her legs exposed. Eurydice grins, turns and looks over her shoulder to see Persephone shake her head, a bemused smile lighting her teasing features. Orpheus’s name is on the back of her jersey, and Eurydice shrugs her shoulders before holding up a finger.

“Mock me all you want, but you won’t be saying anything once you see the baby.” Eurydice turns and moves to the nursery, the sight of her tiny body in the dress-like jersey sauntering around the apartment a sight that has Persephone chuckling to herself. Eurydice emerges with Melody on her hip, cooing as the tiny, chunky baby blinks her sleepy eyes at her mother. She’s in a big red tutu with a matching bow, large on her tiny head of poofy brown hair. Her legs are covered by leg warmers with big baseballs on them, white socks that are a mock-up of Eurydice’s sneakers. Eurydice holds her out to Persephone while covering her with tiny kisses on her chubby cheeks; gesturing to the onesie that reads Daddy’s #1 fan.

“You do know that this is an adult league, right? It’s essentially hometown recreation for bored adults with nothing to do, not for wives who want to lust over their husbands from the stands. Their husbands who-arguably-can’t actually play baseball for shit.”

“He’s getting better!” Eurydice argues, face reddening as she brings Melody back to her chest. 

“Eurydice, seriously….I’m allowed to say it because I raised him, that boy doesn’t have an athletic bone in his body.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, then.” The younger woman smirks, grabbing her keys from the counter and ushering her family from the apartment, pointedly speaking to her young daughter in a soft, sing-song voice. “Right, Mel? Seph doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Your daddy’s perfectly athletic.” 

“Junie, go see daddy for a minute,” Persephone urges, waiting for her own daughter to skip ahead before tossing a round foil packet at her younger counterpart. Eurydice ducks before the condom can hit her, laughing. 

……

They find a seat in the first row of the stands-not a challenging feat, considering the nature of a recreational adult league playing in the park in the time between toddler little league and preteen boys competing for college-scouting clout. Eurydice scans the mass of players until she sees him; her husband, dressed in the white jersey and pants that fit him just right, leans over the dugout. He smiles at another player’s joke as he bends down to fix his shoes, running a hand through his already sweaty hair. Eurydice finds herself grinning wildly, unable to look away, lost in the way Orpheus’s lanky body seems to move so fluidly.

Persephone, on the other hand, laughs at her son. Orpheus can barely tie his own shoes, fumbling with the laces for a moment before swiftly finishing the job. He follows the team in their warm-up jog and it takes everything within her as the woman who raised him to suppress her laughter as he jogs by, waving and smiling at them. His run is less than graceful, a sort of stumbling movement resembling the last gazelle in a herd who is more than likely to be picked off by the beast chasing them. But he is happy, almost confident in these movements. From beside her, Eurydice cheers loudly, clearly love-blind to her husband’s own awkward stumbling.

She finds it endearing, Eurydice, as her eyes follow her lankily built man. He talks animatedly to the man running beside him, and as he passes their seat he slows down, running a hand along the wired fence as his eyes widen. 

“You can do it, daddy!” Eurydice holds Melody on her leg, which she’s propped up on the bleacher in front of her as a stool. His jersey slides up her thigh just enough to expose most of her skin. A short pair of spandex is her only cover, and even then Persephone had taunted her; are you even wearing pants right now?  Orpheus smiles as he passes them, waving excitedly at Melody. Then his eyes widen and his face grows red. He turns his head long after he’s run by them, looking at Eurydice with the unhidden drop of his jaw, without words. She waves again, with a grin craftily hiding its mischief to the unaware crowd. Persephone, however, sees right through the young mom’s game. She puts her hand on her shoulder, guides her back to her seat.

“So, I had a question,” Eurydice holds Melody close to her chest as they wait for the game to begin, opening her shirt in response to her slight whimpering and waiting patiently for her to latch on.

“What?” 

“Can you watch Melody for a little bit after the game? I have some errands to run, and,”

“Don’t even,” Persephone looks at Eurydice underneath narrowed eyes, shaking her head slightly. “Do you think I was born yesterday? You want me to watch your baby-your very attached to your hip baby-so you can go off and be a dirty milf. How do you know I don’t have plans later?” 

“Because Hades has a meeting tonight downtown-I do pay attention, you know. Also, how the fuck do you know that’s what I’m trying to do? Maybe I just need a minute to get the house clean.”

Persephone laughs, a full and very loud chuckle.

“Eurydice, come on. You’re not even wearing a bra!” 

 From her place on the bleachers Junie instinctively turns to her mother, then to Eurydice, looking at her with wide, curious eyes. Her long ringlet curls bounce as she tilts her head slightly, hops between her feet in antsiness. 

“Mama, what’s a milf? Why is ‘Rydice dirty?” 

“Don’t listen to your mom, Junie-she and Eurydice shouldn’t be allowed to sit next to each other anymore.” Hades shoots them both a pointed look, gesturing with his eyes between them and the highly intelligent four year old who worships the ground they walk on. Both stifle a round of guilty giggles before Persephone ushers her daughter to Hades-I brought your coloring-and sits back down next to Eurydice.

“It’s easier for Melody if I don’t wear a bra”

“Yeah, and it’s easier for you to be trashy.”

“I’m not watching her.”

“Please, Seph. I didn’t come here full tits out for nothing.” 

“Nope. Not doing it.” Persephone crosses her arms over her chest indignantly, unmoving in her stance. The game begins, and Orpheus’s team is up to bat first. He stands waiting for his turn. The man next to him, who is slated to bat before him, picks a bat from the grass and begins his practice swings. Orpheus, watching carefully, walks over to the bin of bats and chooses one for himself, stepping a safe distance away before beginning to swing.

He’s not the most graceful; Persephone snorts as she watches him fumble with his grip, turn the opposite leg out. His shoulders are both tense and far too loose-at one moment, it seems as though he may have actually got the hang of the posture. But the moment Orpheus moves, any semblance of grace he’d had is thrown out the window. When it is his turn he stands behind the plate, shuffling his feet on the sand and looking up with careful concentration at the pitcher. His helmet seems to dwarf his head although he is the rightful size to wear it. His lips part slightly, his tongue touching the roof of his mouth as he waits for the ball. 

He hears it hit the catcher’s glove before he can even react. Strike. Orpheus takes a breath, fidgets and sets himself up again, wiggling his body. 

“I bet he doesn’t hit.”

“Seph!” Eurydice hisses just as Orpheus swings far too late, overestimating the strength needed and stumbling forward two steps. Persephone merely shrugs, points back to the diamond. Orpheus has caught her eye, is smiling at her from his place up at bat. He mouths a soft i love you, and that’s when he strikes out.

Eurydice claps for him anyway, watching as he walks, seemingly unbothered, back to the dugout. He still has an innocent sort of smile on as his wife turns to Persephone, who wears a tongue-in-cheek expression as she taps her own white Louboutin sneakers against the bleachers. 

“I bet he doesn’t hit it once.”

“He will! He can-he’s getting so much better than that first game.”

“You want to make me an offer, then?” Persephone raises an eyebrow, eyes sparking with the mere idea of a bet. Eurydice sits up in her seat, shifting Melody’s weight so she can burp her, leaving the three buttons of Orpheus’s jersey undone as they had been unashamedly. 

“An offer?”

“Yeah-a bet. If he hits the ball once, I’ll watch Melody for you.”

“You sure you want it that easy?” Eurydice speaks confidently for her husband, although her confidence is slightly shattered when she looks over to find him on the infield with the same slightly open-mouthed gaze he uses when humming a new tune. With Persephone’s eyes on her, and his enthusiastic wave when he sees her staring, she straightens her posture

“One time,” Persephone repeats, looking on at the game in progress. “That’s all you need for me to watch her.”.

“Fine. It’s a bet.” Eurydice nods in agreement before turning her attention back to the game, keeping a silent pseudo-prayer in her heart. Just one time, Orpheus, that’s all you need.

…

The game is nearly over, and Eurydice is not even close to victory in this bet. She stands now, right in front of the fence, a raucous voice cheering Orpheus on. Persephone sits behind her, bored with the game but bemused by her own heckling.

“He won’t hit it, and neither will you!” She teases while braiding Junie’s long, untamed curls into neat french plaits.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Have you seen your husband?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking you to take my daughter!” 

“It’s the eighth inning, Eurydice, it’s not happening and it’s probably better that way!”

“Shut up, Seph, let me have this!” Eurydice whirls her attention back to the fence, where Orpheus is up to bat once more. He looks up at her spot at the fence, smiles his boyish, consuming sort of smile before focusing on the task at hand. The first ball makes it straight into the glove without so much as a hit. Orpheus winces.

“It’s ok, babe, you can do it!” Eurydice cheers, the only voice within the vicinity of the park with such an ample amount of unstrained volume. Her husband straightens himself up, nods and refocuses, the hint of a smile peeking through the visage of concentration. As soon as the ball hits Orpheus’s bat with a smack-as he jolts and runs to first base excitedly. Eurydice jumps too, cheering and dancing with Melody, giving a wildly grinning Orpheus a thumbs up before wheeling around to stare deftly, with a fair amount of cheek, at Persephone.

“I’ll make sure she’s fed before we go, then.” She can feel the surge of confidence course through her body, the way her husband running the bases fills her with instant anticipation and an overridingly pompous sort of posture. There’s one more inning to go-one agonizing inning. Orpheus does not hit the ball again, but it doesn’t matter. Eurydice does not sit-can’t bring herself to sit. Instead, she paces aimlessly in front of the fence-up and down the bleachers-singing quietly to Melody. 

Mama won the bet-mama won the bet-you get to stay with Seph-y-’cause mama won the bet! Over and over she sings this verse, a tune that has Persephone groaning in annoyance and rolling her eyes endearingly. The young mother, in her husband’s jersey and knee-high socks, bounces around with her baby until the end of the game. And then, with a smirk on her face, Eurydice reaches her hand out to Persephone.

“Good game,” she mocks before covering Melody in kisses, touching their foreheads together before handing her to Persephone. “I’ll come and get you soon, sweet girl.” She promises as she runs to meet Orpheus at the gate.

He’s blindsided as Eurydice runs to him, dodges the crowd of players leaving the dugout and jumps eagerly into his arms. She wraps her legs around his waist, nearly knocking him over. He laughs and holds her there as she holds the back of his neck with gentle hands, pushes her lips against his fervently and needily, sighing at the contact. 

“Where’s the fry?” He asks, and Eurydice can only let out a breathless sort of laughter as she holds him tighter, resting her head on his chest as she thinks about the bet she’d just won.

“Seph has her. She’s going to watch her for a little while.” 

Orpheus, typically oblivious, can easily decipher Eurydice’s intent as she unwravels herself from his arms only to press herself against him, her hands on his chest, busy with dusting his bicep with slow, careful kisses. He finds himself nervously clamoring for her hand, backing up.

“We’re in public, ‘Rydice.”

“Ok, so let’s go somewhere private.” 

She grins wickedly, with the corner of her lip but mostly with her wild eyes, dark and searching. Eurydice pulls his hand, feels him follow behind her as she ducks into the corner of the dugout.

“Here?” Orpheus squeaks, looking around cautiously. Eurydice doesn’t seem to care-she’s already put her hands back on him, tossing his baseball cap to the floor and running her fingers through his hair, then down his cheeks. Her lips find his jawline, her hands to his belt. She loops her thumbs through it and pulls his body flush to hers, where a groan of satisfaction escapes him as he dips his head to her chest and his hands to her exposed thighs, Where she’s left three buttons undone on this jersey she’s been crafty-purposeful. Orpheus takes his time here, nuzzling himself into the space of her neck with both lips and tongue. He feels her breath hitch as he sucks on the skin underneath her collarbone, leaves a trail of this reddened skin down to her exposed breasts and lets his fingers find their way to the hem of her tiny spandex shorts.

Eurydice makes quick work of his belt this time, hasty and newly skilled, tossing it to the sand as her eager hands move back to the defined shape of his butt. She moves her lower body against him skillfully, smiling in satisfaction at his soft, cracking, contented sighs. Eurydice leans up, words on the tip of her tongue just waiting to be whispered, when she makes out the tiny figure standing silently at the entrance of the dugout.

“‘’Rydice? Ophie?” 

“Bug!” Eurydice pulls back from Orpheus swiftly, both hands pulling her shirt closed as Orpheus clamors for a moment of composure. “What do you need, sweetheart? Where’s your mama?”

“Mama asked me to come and ask where baby’s blanket is.”

“Oh…” Eurydice pauses for a moment before shaking her head, sighing. “Tell your mama it’s in the big pocket of her bag.”

Junie nods, still standing in the doorway, looking between Orpheus and Eurydice in curiosity. She walks slowly up to Eurydice, stands on her toes with one hand out, and touches the space of her neck that she can see. It’s riddled with red marks, in an uneven trail that has Junie staring with her eyes scrunched. 

“‘Rydice, do you have chicken pox?”

Orpheus sputters. Eurydice’s hand flies to her neck, attempting to cover a large enough expanse of the skin there to erase whatever the tiny girl in her cream-colored romper and long french braids has already seen.

“No, honey, I don’t have chicken pox.” 

“Are you hurt?”

Eurydice shakes her head, unable to help the smile over the very blatant, unfiltered curiosity. Orpheus is still at a loss for words, busing himself with finding his belt and keeping his eyes as far away from Junie as possible. Eurydice is about to do the same when she hears a familiar voice calling for the girl, switching between her name and her nickname.

“There you are, honeybee. Did you get the,” Persephone stops in her tracks and takes in the scene before her; Orpheus has frozen in the middle of tucking his shirt back in, looking down at the ground sheepishly. His wife has one hand on her neck, the other moving to give her a cautious sort of wave and a nod. There is a moment of silence, suspended in the air of the older of the women deciphering what has happened. She then grabs Junie’s hand and looks between the guilty parties teasingly, rolling her eyes.

“The dugout? Really? Are we in high school?” 

“Oh come on, Seph,”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me taking my poor four year old daughter home from this teen-whose-parents-are-home makeout session.”

“Hey, I still won the bet!”

“Use a condom, please. Melody’s cute but you do not need another one right now.”

Persephone is about to turn on her heels when her head dips, her eyes narrowing at the haphazard conglomeration of redness along her neck. She lets a sly smile take over, placing her hand on Eurydice’s shoulder lovingly, yet pointedly.

“Lipstick and concealer,” She gestures to Eurydice’s neck with an all-knowing gaze. “Y,know, before you show up in my class tomorrow looking like he tried to take your whole neck right off.”

Eurydice nods, bites her lip and lets herself be playfully scolded as Persephone gathers Junie’s hand in hers, taking one last glance at the young couple, now back in each other’s arms, to signify that the conversation is over.

“Oh, also? You’re paying for Junie’s therapy.”

[kinghoranshit]

This is Love (LT) Epilogue

Word Count: 884

"Daisy! Are you almost ready?" I called down the hallway as I trotted to her room.

She stuck her head out. "I don't know what to wear."

"How about a dress?" I offered, lightly guiding her into her princess room and to her closet.

"But... We're going to the playground and I'll be playing with Conor."

I laughed. "How about some cute overalls and a frilly shirt?"

I could see her thinking about it. Then she nodded. "Okay."

We picked out a pair of pale purple overalls with darker multi-colored shirt in strips. She yanked on a pair of white Keds, which she picked out a pair of white socks to wear with them.

I helped brush her curly, red hair back into a ponytail. She got my hair and mostly Lou's blue eye color. It was quite the mixture, but she was just so cute.

Before we left to go to the park, I packed a small reusable bag with some snacks and bottles of water.

"I'll see you later, love. Dinner will be ready at six," Louis stated, resting up against the door to his office.

I smiled and pecked him on the cheek. "Thanks, darling. I love you."

"I love you too. Have fun with Kat and Conor."

"We will daddy," Daisy beamed.

He squatted down to give her a tight hug. "Tell Conor I say hi."

"Okay." She giggled before running off to the garage.

Louis laughed. "Conor's quite the catch, isn't he?"

I gave him a look. "I told you."

"But they're only six," Lou rebutted.

"Don't matter." I shook my head.

He chuckled and lightly smacked my butt. "Get going. I'll see you later."

I laughed, sort of evilly, and headed out. Daisy had snapped herself in into her car seat and she waited expectantly. I knew not to waste anymore time, so I hurried to buckle up and get us going.

***

I watched as Daisy and Conor ran off towards the playground. Conor was a fair mix between Katie and Niall, but he definitely got a hint more of Niall. The Irish accent didn't give that away at all.

I plopped myself down beside Katie and I could see small lines under her eyes.

"You look tired."

She made a small snort. "Yeah, well..."

I gasped and whacked her arm. "You and Niall did the be-donky-donk last night, didn't you?"

Her eyes went wide, then she smiled and blushed. "We may have." She mumbled under her breath, "All night."

"It was an oversized shirt and vintage socks, wasn't it?"

She giggled. "It gets him every time. I don't know why... But, also, I may have been wanting it myself."

Her saying that reminded me of what I was going to tell her. I blurted out, "Lou and I are pregnant."

"What?" she exclaimed, shifting in her spot to look at me more. A smile crept on her face and she leaned in. "So are Niall and I. Haven't told Conor yet though."

I laughed. "What're the odds?"

Her smile faded shortly after. "Mads, what about what you went through with Daisy? Isn't risky to go through it all again?"

"Yeah, probably, but they're worth it." I shrugged. It was a major concern Louis and I talked about when we got the official positive, and we wanted to risk it. Everything else just didn't feel like the right options. We had a plan for everything.

Katie's phone rang and she picked it up. "Hey, husband." She giggled a bit, biting her thumbnail. "No. We're not doing that. Niall, I'm not coming home just for that. I'm not even- Niall. No... I'm going to hang up now." She set her phone back down in her lap with a huff.

"I don't even want to ask."

She shook her head. "No, you don't want to know. We're getting too old for the shit he wants."

I snorted. "We're not that old."

"It sure feels like it. Especially since the boys took another official break. Do you think they're going to go back?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It is probably time to completely settle down, but we also know they love what they do."

She sighed heavily. "Yeah..."

I looked back at Conor and Daisy playing together on the jungle gym, laughing as well. It looked like a game of tag. I thought about how after this I would go home with Daisy to Louis, my husband, and we'd eat the dinner Louis made around the table, then probably watch a movie together. I felt this immense amount of happiness hit me and I smiled wide.

"Katie, have you ever just felt a surge of happiness at the thought that you're married to your best friend, have a kid, and just do normal stuff?"

"All the time" she replied, a smile spreading on her lips. "These two Irish monsters are my life and I'd do anything for them. It's what love is."

"Oh..." I looked at her, then back at our two kids. So, I guessed this is love.

[Masterlist]

[Other Masterlist]

[risingfire17-the-weeb-trash]

The Ones Who Walk Away- Ch 1-Sunday School Shenanigans

Prologue to a YooSeven fic I’m working on. Premise is they met as kids but didn’t remember at first when they meet again as teens. They become best friends who both want something more but Seven’s not going to let the mess he’s caught up in hurt his precious cinnamon roll! Prologue depicts their first meeting, when they are 10 and 11. YooSeven fluff!

~

The first time I met Seven, I was ten years old. He looked about my age, but the similarities ended there. He hopped over the fence of the church play yard and landed right in front of me. I had been shocked, like any normal child would have, but he had just flashed me an excited grin that lit up the golden eyes under his over-sized glasses and slapped his palm over my mouth.

“Shh, I’m playing hide-and seek! Don’t get me caught, kay?” When I could only give him a stunned nod, he smiled even wider and led me into the bushes below the brick wall leading to the main church, the hand that had covered my mouth now holding mine.

I hadn’t played in bushes like this in a long time, and the fact that I was now doing so in my Sunday best with boy I just met…it seemed like it should be bad, but I was excited. I started to giggle. The boy covered my mouth again.

“We have to be quiet, remember? Or we lose!” His face so close to mine and his voice a giddy whisper made me feel excited, like I was part of something cool. I looked into his dancing golden eyes and nodded enthusiastically.

“Good boy.” He returned my smile with one of his own as he ruffled my hair. His praise made me want to do whatever he asked, even if it meant messing up the hair my cousin Rika had spent so long slicking down for church.

“I’m gonna check if the coast is clear.” He slowly poked his head out of the bush and looked in the direction of the main church, and I followed suit. The priest was talking to a group of elderly church members. Rika was talking to a group of church ladies, probably about the upcoming bake sale they had been talking about all month. Two huge men in black suits and sunglasses were approaching Rika’s group. I had never seen them before, but they looked so cool, like something out of a spy movie! I was going to ask my new friend if he wanted to go meet them, but he grabbed my hand and yanked me in the other direction, toward the gate at the back of the church yard. I caught him muttering “she should take care of it.”

I pulled on his hand still gripping mine as we reached the gate. “We’re not supposed to go outside! And besides, the gate is locked, and kids don’t know the code!”

“It’ll be fine, trust me!” he said with a wink. As he said, the gate was unlocked! He hadn’t even put in a code! He slipped out and started to close the gate behind him. “Thanks, that was fun!” Wait. This boy was leaving? Just like that? I was possessed with the need to talk to this enigmatic boy some more, to understand just what had happened!

“Wait! Where are you going? I shoved myself into the gate to stop him closing it and grabbed his wrist. For the first time, he looked shocked. He yanked his arm back so hard I lost my grip, but not before I’d been forced through the gate, which closed behind me. I was outside! How much trouble would I get in?

He looked through the gate, past the empty play yard where adults were starting to file into the main church. He looked back at me with a playful smirk and held out his hand. “Wanna find out?”

~

As we half skipped, half jogged through the streets behind the church, he a pace ahead of me with my hand firmly in his, I stared at his back and wondered just how I had ended up here with someone like him. Like I said, he looked about my age, but other than that, he was nothing like me.

I was a good child, I guess. I studied hard. In fact, I had the best grades in my class. I didn’t boast though. I actually barely talked to anyone. It’s not that I didn’t care for people. I just wasn’t very good at talking to them. So I stuck to studying. Rika had started bringing me to church with her sometimes, hoping I would talk to some of the other kids there. But instead I hid by myself in the play yard until church started, and when the other kids took it over after church, I silently followed Rika until we left. I guess I was a pretty shy child.

I think the other kids thought I didn’t talk to them because I was mean. At least, that’s what they said when they whispered about me. I was too scared to even correct them, so I just let them say it and hid away by myself.

This boy was completely different. Everything about him seemed to glow like he was born to be admired. It wasn’t just the bright red curls or the twinkling golden eyes, though those certainly drew the eye. It was his entire demeanor. The way he stood tall, the light and carefree way he ran, the way he so calmly jumped that fence into my life and pulled me into this game of his. His strong hand that boldly led me through the streets. The way, every time he turned to check on me, his eyes danced like his feet, and his lips curled into a reassuring smirk, like nothing could possibly go wrong in his game. This boy was 100% different from me, brimming with a confidence that I could just not get enough of.

When we finally slowed to a walk, I no longer knew where we were, and my stomach started to tighten a bit. But I reminded myself that my new friend knew what he was doing. Wait. Was he a friend? I didn’t even know his name. Well, I guess it was time to start making a friend.

“What’s your name?”

“Three guesses.”

“Huh”

The boy turned to me, brushing his red curls out of his eyes which now danced with the mirth of a new game. “Three chances to guess my name. Isn’t it fun!”

“And if I don’t get it in three guesses you won’t tell me?”

“Yep!”

“But that’s impossible! That’s not fair!” I may have started to whine a bit, and I swear his smirk softened just a little.

“All right, fine. I’ll give you a hint. It’s in the Bible. Hope you paid attention in Sunday school!” He giggled, and I wondered if it was because I was currently skipping Sunday school.

“There’s a lot of names in the Bible.” I pouted.

“So?”

“Ugh, Old or New Testament?”

“Old.”

“All right…um…Noah?” He looked like the kind of person who would want to be on a boat with an entire zoo.

“Nope! Strike one!” he shouted gleefully. “Two more!”

“Ummmm…” I wracked my brain for a Bible name common among Korean parents. “Um, David?”

“Nope! Strike two! One more!”

I was starting to get really nervous, like the way I did on a test when I didn’t know the answer. I was starting to sweat. He may have noticed and took pity on me, because he gave me another hint. “It’s like the least common name in the Bible, oh and in church they probably told you he’s a bad guy!”

“A bad guy? I know! Jezebel!”

He stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. “Jezebel’s a woman, silly! Strike three!”

My heart sank and tears threatened my eyes. I had always been a crybaby. But before they could come out, the redhead grabbed my hand again and pulled me toward what looked like a corner store. “Ah, here! Let’s get some snacks!” He pulled some coins from his pocket and forced them into my hand. “Go inside and get us a bag of Honey Buddha Chips!”

“What’s that?”

“Only the best snack known to mankind! I’ve been saving forever for them!”

“Wait. Why aren’t you going in with me?”

“It’s a secret!” He patted my head with his strong hand, and I felt warm inside despite my hesitation. “Don’t worry, I won’t run off while you’re in there! Promise!” He took my hand and wrapped his pinky finger around mine as he flashed me one of those smiles that I was learning would probably get me to do anything.

“O-okay.”

 ~

As I followed this boy to wherever we were going next, we passed the bag of Honey Buddha Chips between us. He was right; these chips were amazing! My parents didn’t let me eat food like that; they said it was bad for me. I did well enough in science to know that they were right, but that didn’t stop me from deciding they were more than welcome in my life! I looked at this strange boy who had jumped the fence to my church in a faded hoodie, tattered jeans, and oversized glasses and convinced me to skip Sunday school and concluded my parents would probably say he’s bad for me too. My stomach tingled with excitement as I decided he was as welcome in my life as those chips.

I noticed he was barely eating, which was odd, seeing how excited he had been for them in the first place. I decided to ask him why.

“Ah…I want to save some!”

“For what?”

His face lit up with one of his huge goofy smiles. “To remember our trip by, of course!”

“What’s the point if they go bad, though?”

“Ummmm…” For once, this strangely confident boy didn’t seem to know what to say.

“Isn’t it better to eat them together before they go bad?”

He stopped and patted my head again. “I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “I’m happy to eat these with you; really I am, but there’s someone else I want to share them with too.”

“Wow! Why didn’t you just tell me? Who is it?”

His toothy grin was back. “Well…it’s my mommy!”

In that moment, I decided this boy couldn’t be too much different from me. He wanted to make his mom happy just like I wanted to do for mine! I was now finding this boy to be really…sweet. Of course I wasn’t going to say that. I wasn’t great at talking to people, but I knew that wasn’t something kids said to each other! Instead I just laughed and told him I hoped his mom like them as much as I did.

He smiled a much softer smile than his previous ones, and it somehow looked even nicer than the others. When he caught me staring up at him, he took my hand again and pulled me around the corner. His face lit up as he pointed to our destination: a park at the end of the road. He started running again, and, my hand still in his, I followed him.

~

We ran around the playground having the time of our lives until we collapsed exhaustedly on the grass. We lay side by side, on our backs, naming the clouds in the sky for common objects and animals. After he found one that looked like a cross, I asked him if he went to church.

“Nah, too much sitting still for me!”

“Then why did you come to my church today?”

“I told you; I was playing hide-and-seek!”

“What happened to the people you were playing with?”

“They…they gave up and went home because I was too good!”

“You mean…you left them? But…wouldn’t they miss you?” I took my eyes from the sky to fix him with a stare that was supposed to be scolding but probably just looked sad. Because if he would ditch the friends he was playing tag with, wouldn’t he ditch me too?

“Nah, they were being mean to me! That’s why I wanted to hide! They weren’t nice like you are!”

I could feel my face grow hot at his compliment. I loved compliments, but I never knew how to respond to them. Instead, I just asked him, “who would be mean to you?”

He flashed me a grin, and I knew what he was going to say before he said it. “That’s a secret!” He sure did have a lot of secrets. But at least he told me when he didn’t want to tell me something, instead of just lying about it.

Then he sat up and held out his hand, which I took before even asking him where we were going. I didn’t have to though, because he told me “it’s time to get you back to church before anyone notices you’re gone!”

~

 As I followed him, trusting him to know the way back to my church because I sure didn’t, I tried to wrap my mind around this enigma of a boy. He didn’t go to church, but he had somehow known that the gate that was always locked would be unlocked. He hid from someone just to take a complete stranger to play with him. He’d rather send someone to buy the chips who knew nothing about them than go in himself. He was so calm and confident, loud and carefree, but it seemed almost like he was…hiding from someone? Had he gotten in trouble?

Maybe. He seemed like the type who would get into mischief. Nothing too bad. Maybe a prank gone too far? Or a game that went out of control?

Still, he was a kind boy with a smile that could calm any fear. He seemed not to have much, but he shared what he did have. And if he got someone in trouble, he helped them get out of it. So hence him leading me back to church. This boy was an enigma, for sure, but…I wanted to trust him. I wanted to be his friend.

So when we approached the church, its parishioners still packed inside but communion bells telling they wouldn’t be for long, and the redhead started to walk back the way they had come, I ran after him and grabbed his wrist. He yanked again, this time yanking me into him. He caught me by the shoulders and steadied me before I fell.

“What are you doing?”

“My name is Yoosung! Yoosung Kim! I want to be your friend!” I held out my hand for him to shake. He gave me another one of those soft smiles, but this one looked sad. He shook my hand and then turned away again. Or at least tried to, because I grabbed the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Wait!” He turned toward me again. “What’s your name?”

He paused, opened his mouth and then closed it. He grinned, but it didn’t look as happy as the ones before. “Aw, come on, you lost our guessing game, remember? No freebies!”

My voice cracked as I asked, “but how can we be friends if you won’t tell me your name?! This whole time…did you not think of us as friends?” I hung my head so he couldn’t see my tears. My hand started to fall from his hoodie.

Then he slipped his fingers under my chin and propped me up to look at him. I thought he was going to make fun of me, or yell at me, or anything but what he did. He leaned forward, and…touched his mouth to mine.

My body suddenly felt way too warm with the knowledge that what was happening was not supposed to happen. Well, no one had told me that, per se, but it was one of those things everyone knew. Children’s kisses were for the cheeks of mommies and aunties and grannies, oh and little babies. Children didn’t kiss each other on the mouth like that. And this was another boy too! That had to be worse!

But all I could think was how happy I was that this boy didn’t seem to hate me. And how light and fluffy I felt on the inside when he was that close to me. And how I wanted to see him again.

When he pulled away, I stood flush-faced and wide-eyed, unable to take my eyes off him. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you my name. It really is a secret. But I like you, okay? So please don’t cry.” He smoothed my hair into place, his touch and his smile so gentle I couldn’t argue.

The bells were ringing again. Church was out. I had to get back now. He gave me a gentle push toward the church.

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I hope so.” This time he gave me no chance to stop him again as he turned and ran away, leaving the ghost of his warmth on my body, a ghost that would haunt me for a long time.

~

When Miss Eun told Rika I had not been in Sunday school, stealing glares at me as I hid behind my cousin, I fully expected a public lecture. I did not expect for Rika to apologize profusely for forgetting to tell Miss Eun that I was working on a special project for the bake sale and that I wouldn’t be attending Sunday school today. She was lying and I knew it, and going by the scowl on Miss Eun’s face, she didn’t believe it either. But to his relief, she let the issue fall.

Soon after, Rika announced that it was time for her to return me to my parents’ house. As soon as we were in her car, she asked where I’d been. And I couldn’t lie to her. Not to Rika. She was probably the most important person to me other than my parents. She listened to me when I cried, comforted me and told me it was okay to take things at me own pace, and gave me a world through volunteering where even I could make people smile. I couldn’t repay her with lies.

I admitted to meeting that strange red-haired boy who jumped the fence and took me out to play, that strange boy who smiled and played games and shared food but would not say his name. How he had pulled me into a game of hide-and-seek, how he had somehow made the gate open! I left out only the kiss, because that felt too…strange to tell anyone. It wasn’t exactly lying, but it wasn’t telling the whole truth either. My stomach was twisting. If this was what a secret felt like, how could that boy hold so many?

Rika listened while I told her the whole story. When I was done, she sighed and said “Oh, Yoosung. I didn’t think you would lie to me like that.”

I panicked. Did she somehow know about the kiss? How? She should have been in church at the time! But then, I should have too. I hung my head.

“Yoosung, I know you’re afraid to talk to other children, but if it’s so bad you felt like you had to skip Sunday school, you should have told me, not hide and then lie to me about it!”

Wait. Rika…didn’t believe me? But she knows I would never lie to her! But my stomach started to twist again, and I wondered if that was really true. But I wasn’t making this up!

“Yoosung, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yes, Rika! And I’m telling you, there really was a boy!” She stopped the car and looked at me with hardened eyes I had never seen on her before. She spoke in a harsh voice, so unlike her:

“That boy does not exist.”

She started driving again and her voice returned to normal. “Yoosung, it’s not healthy at your age to have imaginary friends. If you can’t talk to other kids, then please talk to me. Please? I promise; you can tell me anything.”

I knew there was no point arguing with her anymore, even if I couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Yes, Rika. I’m sorry.”

Rika kissed my forehead and promised she wouldn’t tell my parents about today as long as I forgot about my imaginary friends and worked on making real ones. We never talked about that day again. And she didn’t take me to her church again for a very long time, even when I asked.

I did work hard on making friends. By the time I was finishing middle school, I wasn’t the most popular kid, but I had classmates I got along well with. It took a long time, but I finally buried the memory of that mysterious red-haired boy, and with it, a lot of confusing thoughts.

[royz-yade]

Royz Tomoya Rock and Read 064 Interview (English Translation)

Magazine: Rock&Read 064 Release Date: February 2016 Type of Interview: Personal Interview Scans by: kiba153chan (thank you!!) Translator: VerwelktesGedicht for Royz-yade

– Tomoya-san, were you living in Osaka all the time until you moved to Tokyo? No, I was born in Sakai, Osaka, but during my 2nd year of elementary school we moved to Okayama. I lived there for five years and returned to Sakai in my 2nd year of middle school.

– Aren’t there any memories you have from the time before you went to Okayama? There are! I was very lively and was a kid that hurt himself a lot (laugh) When I realized “It’s raining!!” I ran around at the corridor, bumped into the sink and got a wound you had to stitch up. This started around the first year of elementary school.

– You were wild (laughs) So you were playing outside a lot? Yes. I liked competitions and I hated it if someone was faster than me. I didn’t want to lose to anyone. I also didn’t like it when I lost at swimming, so I practiced a lot. Since a long time ago I hated to lose.

– And then you moved to Okayama. In Okayama as well I ran around a lot (laughs) In front of our house there was a river and I went fishing. I also played a lot at the kindergarden. I liked the playground of the nearby kindergarden more than the one of my elementary school.

– What could you do there? There were many things to do. There was a net you could climb at and there was a climbing pole and the slide was going round. It was like a jungle gym.

– You where sporty, weren’t you? Yes! I liked it a lot! I even got along very well with the teachers there.

– That’s nice (laughs) Do you have siblings? I have a five-year-older brother (onii-chan). Back then I went fishing with the friends of my brother but when he entered high school they made fun of me a lot (laughs)

– Did you listen to music a lot? I was a kid that barely listened to music. Even though I did go to karaoke with my parents all we sang together were songs like “tentou mushi no samba”.

– That’s a wedding song!! (laughs) Somehow I remember that quite well (laughs)

– You said you learned swimming but did you also do other sports? In my fourth year of elementary school I started athletics in school. Not a particular type, we rather played tag or cops and robbers. It was that kind of club (laughs) But at the sports festival I thought I should do something and I took part in a relay race.

– In elementary school doesn’t a relay race mean that you were a hero? Yes, it should mean that!? Isn’t that normal? I wasn’t at all (laughs)

– Why!? (laughs) I don’t know (laughs) Being able to run fast in elementary school should make you popular… But actually I was just a kid who wanted to do sports.

– But in middle school, when you hit puberty, a couple of things have changed, haven’t they? Not much changed. I still went to the playground.

– You loved playgrounds so much (laughs) Well, I just liked moving around (laughs) And I went on a long trip with my bike. And after that, at a Game Center, I played “Dance Dance Revolution”.

– It’s said that people being good at this game already left the sphere of being human. That was the next part of my life.

– Really!? When I went to professional school I entered the Top100 of Japan [in this game].

– I have the impression that you do that with a really high speed. Hahaha. I was really slow.

– Unexpected (laughs) You returned to Sakai (Osaka) then. It was lonely, wasn’t it? Yes. I already had many friends [in Okayama] and there came so many to our house for my goodbye party. When they left in their cars, I ran behind them. It was really like a dorama about youth (laughs) But when I returned to Sakai the circle of friends from my elementary school has gotten bigger. My best friend from kindergarden had become a yankie and didn’t go to school anymore but when I came back that friend started to go to school with me again. But when I got more friends that person started not going to school again.

– A nice person! Yes, it was so nice! But since he was a yankie, I also became part of the yankie team (laughs)

– I see. How did this work out with your school life? Even though it was Sakai we lived quite at the countryside. In Okayama I participated in high jump but after returning to Sakai I started with hurdling. Actually I wanted to do sprint but there were so many people who could sprint well and I thought that it’s too difficult and that it’s not the level we had in Okayama! (laughs) I started hurdling that nobody did. I had pretty good results in the qualifying test and was among the Top 8! But when it got serious I lost by far (laughs)

– Because the hurdles were so high (laughs) Did you already start to listen to music at that time? During the end of middle school I was interested in A cappella. I wanted to take part in “hamonepu” (a tv programm) and gathered my friends around me for that. But they weren’t interested in it at all and we never made it to practice. Then, when I graduated from middle school, there wasn’t really anything special I wanted to do, so my parents told me that it would be better to have a job. That’s why I went to a technical college. But then I realized that this isn’t what I want to do and when they introduced the club activities and I watched my Sempai making pop music I wondered if I can do that also with A cappella. My advisory teacher also told me that this would be completely fine and so I joined. But… there weren’t any people who wanted to do A cappella (laughs)

– Well, they want to play an instrument (laughs) I wanted to do voice percussion and when I told them that they said that that the closest to that would be drums and if I don’t want to try. That was the time I came into contact with drums for the first time. And unexpectedly I could actually hit them well. Even the 8beat I could do right away, so I thought that this might really work out!

– And then you were in a band. What songs did you play? We only did cover songs. We often played songs of MONGOL800-san and L’Arc en Ciel-san. From there on we went with X JAPAN and played more and more Visual Kei songs. My Sempai who played the guitar had to repeat a year and I thought I can just jump in and did so along the way. But that guy liked Visual Kei and brought songs by Raphael we played. At that time we still didn’t use any kind of make up though.

– So the reason you started with Visual Kei was thanks to your Sempai? Yes. And the bassist also liked it.

– Did you already hold lives back then? We did at many events from our school and also had a session band with people from another school and performed at our city festival. We started playing original songs around my third year of high school.

– With all these songs you played, was there some that clicked? L’Arc en Ciel was a big thing for me. Regarding the drum phrases, there were some really difficult ones but also some for beginners, so they really helped me. And I practiced playing two bass drums with X JAPAN songs.

– Did you have drums at home? I had part time jobs and bought a drum set for beginners for 50.000 Yen. I closed the thin paper doors and hit the drums.

– Where there people who complained about it? There were. But my mother was on my side (laughs) I didn’t show up [at the door then] but she told me light-heartedly: “There were complains again.”

– She didn’t tell you to stop? She did say that I have to stop late at night or when we have guests but except for those times she let me hit the drums the whole time. She just said things like “I can’t hear the TV~~” (laughs)

– Hahaha. And did you think at that time that in the future you want to be a drummer? No, I didn’t. Rather than thinking “I want to become popular and sell my music!” I just enjoyed playing it. That’s why when we had to decide for our future path I said that I want to go to a music college because I liked hitting the drums. Right away they told me “No.”. But because I continued saying I want to go my parents gave in.

– And you went to music college. Before I went, I didn’t think I was good at playing the drums. But when I joined, our class got separated into something like “good”, “normal”, “horribly bad”. I was sorted into the middle class and this showed me how reality was.

– The middle class was probably the most difficult one. Yes. I didn’t feel like giving up but the people in the better class were really awesome guys. I didn’t know what was the best to do. Also, in the end it wasn’t like “school”. In the first year I had to study so much because I didn’t know any basics. I came to like it less and less. I didn’t like the classes. And because of that there were also times when I even started to dislike playing the drums.

– But you didn’t think about quitting. Back then I already was in a band and thanks to that I continued playing. After joining that college there was a meeting right away about people searching for members. That was how I joined the band and we even already used make up and held lives. After getting into college I started coloring my hair. People looked at me and said right away “This guy is Visual Kei!” and that’s how I entered that world. I wanted to try on Visual Kei as well and because I thought that coloring my hair was kind of Visual Kei-ish, I did it (laughs)

– What a success! But that band disbanded and I was in about four bands during my college years. I also helped a bit as support member and for recordings. I asked my teacher and there were also tests that introduced me to many different things. I accepted them and they turned out to be positive. My parents also told me to do many different things.

– You can move your body in a good way… That’s how you got that amazing score at Dance Dance Revolution (laughs) Yes (laughs). I stopped doing that once. When I started going to college I realized that I have improved a lot, so I started again. From that time I told my friends that I would be super happy if in the future our songs could be chosen at Dance Dance Revolution. With Royz I made that dream come true.

– Ooh! But you still can do that for Guitarfreaks and Drummania. But probably… When it comes to Dance Dance Revolution and Visual Kei there was only Golden Bomber-san. By the way, they let me compose the most difficult notes. I thought that I’ll make them complicated! (laughs)

– They really seem to be difficult (laughs) Coming back to the original talk, you had quite a couple of bands. My time as support member was the longest time though. I even made the experience that not one single person came to see us live. We even were the headliners but the people who came to the live all returned home and we were asked that evening: “Even if there is no fan left, are you still gonna perform?”

– And did you? We did but it was rather practice. The vocal was encouraging the live house’s staff. Like: “Are you ready?!” (laughs) Departing from that band, I tried it one more time with the guys from my local high school. When we started searching for members, I met Kazuki.

– And you felt like this band didn’t make any steps forward? Yes. We had twin vocals but why were those two always screaming “Voy Voy!” together (laughs)

 – So it wasn’t that one of them sang the melody and the other one did the shouting… (laughs) There was completely no meaning in having two vocals. When we disbanded Kazuki and I wondered if we shall try to form a new band together. We realized that we wanted to have a band that has more songs with melody.

– And that’s when you started Royz. But before starting band activities with Royz we were actually active underground for about one year. That time we had many member changes. Kazuki departed once and only Koudai and I were left. Before Koudai became our bassist we had about three other guys and about 3 or 4 guitarists. Subaru was our 2nd vocalist. There were so many changes that we really wondered how we can do that. That was all while working part time. The shop owner asked me if I don’t want to work there properly full time and I was considering it a lot.

– We’re considering those things when there are times we’re unsure about everything. Yes. My parents also asked me what I want to do and I decided on an age limit. If I can’t reach anything until that age, I would start searching for a proper job.

– And you made it in time. No, it was already the time when I really properly considered if I shall accept a job at a particular company or not. But I had a good feeling [about the band], so I told my parents to let me do this just a bit longer. And it made me think that my parents are really so nice.

– Looking back at it now, do you think you were a bother to the people around you? Yes (laughs) I think I asked many selfish things.

– So, you set up a time limit for yourself. Did you also get the feeling that because of this, Royz would be your last band? But since I was working a lot, it’s not that [the money we gained with the band] really saved me (bitter laugh) Koudai was properly active with the band. When Kazuki left I was alone, just like in the beginning, and there were days when I really wondered if I can do this.

– Kazuki-san and you formed this band. What did you think when the conversation about him leaving came up? Hmm… Somehow… I thought that this was the only thing to do. It made me go “seriously??” but since he decided for this, there was nothing I could do. And of course I was afraid of how things would go on.

– But there was nothing left to do but look forward. Yes. I’m that kind of person. I think I’m a mentally strong person. People are being stopped when they feel stress but I’m an optimistic person, so it didn’t make me depressed.

– Doesn’t your way of thinking save many people? Smoothing the tension, when you start talking the atmosphere changes. That’s why during interviews with you, I’m also not nervous. Hahahahahaha.

– I don’t think the other three are like that, so it makes me think that this ability is very important to keep the balance in Royz. Aah. That’s also something the other members told me. “If you weren’t here, we definitely wouldn’t have come this far.”

– I think the same. But it also led to troubles in the past. When our Tears-tour started, I was pretty serious.

– What happened? I think it’s super childish. I wanted to do this and wanted to do that. Even though the members‘ steps should be together, there were many times when I talked to the label alone. That time was hard.

– When did that start? I think after we turned into a 4-member band. But even before that I also think that we all somehow felt that something was about to change. But people don’t change that easily. I’ve learned a lot back then. We did talk about it and realized that we are about to change. We were also told by the people around us that we have changed but we ourselves didn’t properly know it.

– But the harmony didn’t really change. No (laughs) That was still left.

– But your works and lives did change. Yes. The relationship with our fans is pretty good. In the beginning it was “I!”. That feeling was very strong. Now it’s “What can we do, so that our fans have fun?” That feeling has priority now. But of course, if we don’t enjoy it, our fans wouldn’t either. That’s why we continue doing things also we enjoy.

– Last year you went on 47-prefecture-tour. Was that something big for you? It was huge. Until that time the longest tour was 30 concerts. It was a completely different thing to make it 47. There were also more and more places we’ve never been to and fans were waiting there for us. While we were giving concerts these people were smiling in such a wonderful way. It felt like this was a tour during which we felt like returning to this fresh, new feeling we had in the beginning. That’s what we were hoping for. Of course we were also happy that many people came to see us but those shining smiles that were telling us “I was finally able to see you live!”… I really liked that. Also the places we’ve been to before… I came to know them in a more deeper way and also the communication between us and the fans got stronger. We also went to see the famous places of those cities when we had a bit of free time.

– The four of you together? Yes.

– You’re really good friends, aren’t you? Hahahaha. You can also see it in our documentary (this interview has been held in mid-January) but it’s really amazing. I was usually driving the car and we really made it to various places. I also wanted to take a photo together with our Royz-go [the car], so I used it for this time’s photo shooting.

– You did. But speaking of this change, that you changed or didn’t change, I’d rather call it “growing”. That would be nice. 

– This year as well you will go on a 47-prefecture tour following your new album. And the place we were shooting today was the hall of the tour final at Odaiba. Since our Supernova-tour we are holding our tour finals at Zepp [DiverCity]. For our THE BEGINNING final we had more people come to our live than before but we still couldn’t make it being sold out. Right now, rather than walking forward as a band, we want to make this place being sold out. That’s why we decided on this place.

– Making Zepp DiverCity being sold out is a goal you can reach soon. But you don’t think that it’s enough now? I wonder if it is. Since THE BEGINNING we’ve decided to properly tell our fans what we are feeling in our heart. The concerts are important but is it really that important? We started to think that way.

– Explaining your thoughts and feelings is the most important task Subaru-san has to do, isn’t it? Yes.

– But Subaru-san holds really good MCs now, doesn’t he? Yes! Recently they are really good! We’ve learned a lot during our “FAMILY PARTY” time – also personally. At the previous countdown live Junji-san (Kiryu) let me play on his drumset but it really made me think: “It’s so different!”. When you’re sitting there, there is a lot of space in front of your eyes and I could see the fans so well. My drumset has cymbals in front of my eyes, so I barely see the fans. I changed that this year. I tried different things because I thought I want to bandy looks with the fans more often. You can’t convey anything if nobody can see your face, so I thought it would be nice if I can see more. I’m a person that people around me can’t see often.

– This isn’t only about your drumset, is it? Correct. But I get told that often (laughs) When I’m concentrating on something, I don’t have any interest in anything else.

– Maybe that also reflects in your drumset. I really think so (bitter laugh). I arranged it in a way that it was easy for me to play the drums. But I thought it would be better if more people can see me. Somehow I missed the timing and didn’t talk about it until now but actually I’m the band’s leader now.

– What?! Since when? Since quite a while (laughs) Koudai who used to be our leader for a long time gave this title to Subaru and Subaru gave it to me. (laughs)

– I see! (laughs) When the topic of who will be the leader came up, we were lost for while but in the end we needed to change it. Around that time I was told that people don’t really see me and I thought that might change if I become the leader. That’s why I said I’m gonna do and want to try it. But actually… it hasn’t changed for me (laughs)

– Well, it will happen little by little. It’s awesome that you feel like people come to see you. Yes! For me it’s my weakness (laughs) If I can achieve that, I think I can become a great person. All of the members complement each other. Right now it feels like we have a perfect balance… But I’ll still give my best to become a great person (laughs)

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

Twins Side By Side

A/N: Part Three to the Prequel to Learn To Be. This one is a little longer and goes further back in time. It’s perspective is a little wonky, it starts off in Jester’s and then goes to Jesse’s but there’s no clear cut line where I could find. Also reading back on this I admit that this is not how children of this age actually talk, but I like it so *shrug* this is why this is not going to be published xD

Word Count: 2625

TW: implied child abuse, bullying

Jester’s tiny hands gripped the rough bark as she stretched her neck to look around the gray-brown cedar tree she hid behind. Her pale lips stretched into a smile that had started to make her cheeks ache but she couldn’t stop. It was already taking all her focus to not make a sound, a task made all the more difficult from how her brother was acting. It was break time in basics school meaning lots of little children were running rampant around a large area of land with trees, playsets, and open space. Jester and her brother had decided on playing a round of hide and seek. Jesse insisted that the last time they had played this game was an entire week ago, and since he had been the one hiding then he ordered Jester to hide this time. Of course the best place to hide was in the cluster of multi-trunked cedars since there were so many thick trunks to kneel behind, and low hanging branches covered in light green leaves that pointed multiple sides. Jester kneeled for the first few minutes of the game, but once her thighs started having the feeling of a thousand needles slowly poking her she stood up and tried to make her body match the curve of the tree. Since the leaves were pointed there were plenty of miniature windows for Jester to watch her wavy haired twin sneak around the playground.

“JJ where are you?” Jesse called out, using the nickname he gave her. His voice had been at an extraordinary high pitch and she could see half of his pout. It was too much for her to take and she let out a giggle. His head whipped around and she curled herself completely behind the trunk when Jesse broke out into a run. Despite the bits of dirt, bark, and the strange, dry, residue of tree moss on her hands she covered her mouth with them to help keep quiet.

“I see you!” Jesse shouted poking his face between the two trees causing Jester to shriek and roll onto the ground. He offered a hand to her with a wide dimpled smile which she accepted. As she stood the wind blew causing the twins to stumble and hold onto each other for support. Once the wind stopped they pulled apart except for their linked hands and began walking up the slope towards the rest of the playground. The majority of the other children ignored their presence as the two went along, a few watched them for a moment before running off in a direction away from them.

“Do you want to hide now or swing?” Jester asked once they were in the center of the playset area. Around them were all sorts of places to play, from jungle gyms to tunnels to merry-go-rounds, but other kids covered those. Jesse looked around for a moment before his eyes settled on the school building. Teachers were beginning to slip outside.

“It’s almost time to go in, let’s swing,” Jesse tugged Jester’s arm signaling to her to get ready before he raced off to the swings. The two could run together as each was well aware of the others limits. Once they were at the mellow yellow swings they finally parted and Jesse took the left most swing and Jester took the one right next to him. Jester pumped her legs back as the swing went back and straightened them as it went forward. The more momentum she gained the more she put the rest of her body into the motions until she practically laid flat as her body flew up into the air.

Next to her though, Jesse put little effort into his motions, only swinging back and forth a few inches. His eyes flickered back and forth between his sisters laughing from and the other kids running around playing together. They would have officially been going to school for three weeks tomorrow and it wasn't living up to everything their mother had told him. Mother told him that he would make lots of new friends, that kids would run up to him and ask him to join their games, and at first they did. However, Jesse always brought Jester with him, and soon the kids stopped coming. It was clear they didn’t like his sister, but he didn’t understand why. She wasn’t ugly, she wore nice clothes, and was willing to play any game. In fact, when it came to games she was often on the winning team, the others should want her! However she was always picked last. These thoughts stayed with Jesse as he got off the swing and watched as Jester flew overhead and landing on the ground in a roll. They never left him even when she took his hand and led him back to class.

Throughout the the lesson on how to write all the letters of the alphabet his work was sloppy, and when Ms. Tucker called on him to answer which letter came next she had to repeat herself, because he had been too busy trying to figure the conundrum out. His sister wasn’t stupid, looking at her work it was much neater than his, if a little big. It was better than most of the other kids in class by far. She knew the ABC’s by heart and could even say them backwards when she tried. But still, they sat at a table with seats for four and only the two of them were there.

By the time mother was there to pick them up Jesse hadn’t spoken for an hour, a worrying achievement for a five year old. Jester kept looking at him, her lips pulled into a small frown but she didn’t ask him about it. Instead when mother began her normal line of questioning, asking them the same questions she had for the last few days, Jester began to answer.

“So how was school today?” Jesse normally answered these sorts of questions while Jester added little input. Mother liked it more when Jesse answered.

“It was fun, we played hide and seek and swung on the swings!” Jester’s reply ignored the fact that both of them had spent the end of the day in uncomfortable silence. Jester was much better at lying than Jesse, she was able to convince anyone of anything it seemed sometimes, but she normally used this skill to help Jesse, not herself.

“That’s nice Jester, what did you do Jesse dearest?” Mother pressed on and Jesse sunk a little in his seat. He didn’t want to talk right now. Jester’s hand snaked into his own and when he looked at her she gave him a small smile before facing the rear view mirror.

“He was the one who seeked!” Jester answered once again. Jesse felt a mix of emotions spinning around in his stomach. On one hand, he felt comforted and happy that his sister knew him so well that she could tell he didn’t want to talk, and that she was willing to get in trouble for him. Yet, on the other hand, he felt guilty that she was going to get in trouble for him once again.

“I didn’t ask you Jester, I asked Jesse,” their mother snapped before clearing her throat. “Did you learn anything new Jesse?”

“We just went over the alphabet again,” Jester went on and Jesse tightened his grip on her hand just a bit.

“Jester, let your brother speak!” Mother shouted, Jesse could see her hands were gripping the steering wheel harder as more veins popped out.

“But that’s all we did. We sat by ourselves at a table and wrote the whole alphabet on a piece of paper,” Jester went on, her voice gave the impression she was bored but her grip on Jesse’s hand kept tightening and lightening up in a steady rhythm. Jesse noticed that Jester would do that often if she was touching him while lying.

“Jester don’t make me tell you again, it is Jesse’s turn to talk,” Mother was no longer shouting but her voice was low and Jesse knew that if Jester continued to push that yelling wasn’t going to be the punishment. He wanted to open his mouth to speak, to protect her like she did for him, but there were too many feelings overwhelming him and only a high whine came from his throat. When Mother looked back Jester’s mouth was open again.

“But there’s nothing left for him to tell you. We played, we learned, and that’s all. We do everything together, so why does it matter which one of us tells you?” Jester’s voice was a loud whisper, her squeezing became quicker and less steady, and Jesse stared at her wide eyed, because she had broken an unspoken rule: don’t question Mother. Mother always went to Jesse first, Mother always wanted Jesse to talk, and Mother always took Jesse for ice cream and left Jester with Father, and she hated being asked why, especially by Jester. Mother’s shoulders were hunched up to her ears practically and her skin had grown practically white by how tense every part of her was, except her face, which was bright red.

“Jester I am done with this back talk, when your father gets home he is going to hear about how awful you’ve been to me today,” the rest of the car ride was spent in silence. Jester’s grip on Jesse’s hand squeezed tightly and did not let go, but Jesse didn’t complain. He felt nauseous from the trouble he had gotten his sister into. Despite all of it though, when he looked at Jester she still managed to give him a watery smile. At the very least, Mother was no longer asking questions.

Once inside the comfort of their own home and having taken off their dirty tennis shoes and light jackets Jesse dragged Jester to her room. He would have gone to his own but it was closer to their parent’s and he wanted as much time with Jester as possible before Father came home. Jester’s room was very different than his own. There was only one smaller window that for some strange reason their Father had painted black on the inside. A black ceiling fan provided light for the room along with a lamp with a purple cover that changed the color of the light shining from it. Her floor had a rough purple carpet and the walls were painted a dark purple while the trim was dark green. Father had taken all of her stuffies last year along with her baby blanket so her bed was only adorned with a purple comforter, green sheets, and two black pillows. Most of her toys had been taken away by Father as well only leaving a bookshelf filled with notebooks, coloring books, and children's chapter books. Her room also had a desk that had neatly organized crayons, markers, and colored pencils. Father had been kind enough to allow Jester to keep her cork board though, it was covered in photos of their family, although most of the pictures were center on Jesse and Jester together. Hanging up as well was some of the drawings they had done, like the stick figure drawing of Mother and Father hugging Jester that Jesse had drawn last week. Jesse liked seeing and remembering all the good times that the two had gone through, he was very relieved when Jester first told him Father had let her keep the board. However he couldn’t waste time looking at any pictures, he had to get his thoughts in the open.

“Jester, I’m sorry you got in trouble because of me,” Jesse began, not able to look her in the eye. Jester closed her door and hopped onto the bed patting the spot beside her. Jesse sat down next to her with a bit of effort and crossed his legs. He picked at the fuzz on his white socks instead of looking at her face to see her reaction.

“You didn’t make me keep talking. Besides, I’d rather be in trouble than you,” Jester’s voice was soft and genuine. She watched him pick off another piece of fuzz before staring at his cheek. “Why have you been not talking?” Her eyes made his face burn so he turned to look at her. Her irises started out as a light green burst around the pupil but was a darker green the rest of the way around with specks of green that was practically black sprinkled around. Jesse could see his round face reflected in her eyes, he saw his lip tremble just as he felt it.

“I don’t understand; you’re so nice,” Jesse started but a hiccup forced him to stop. He rubbed his eyes with the inside of his wrists to stop the tears. Jester didn’t say anything, and Jesse’s now blurry vision couldn’t make out her expression, but he was determined to keep going. “But none of the others will play with you, and they won’t group with us, and I don’t get why!” Jesse explained, his arms waved in the air as he spoke. Jester sat still and watched him as he spoke, her face had fallen into a neutral expression and her eyes traveled around him starting with his face and finally resting on his right thumb. Jesse rubbed at his eyes once again as he waited for her to respond, he knew she was thinking about what to say, but Jester always thought for a long time when she had something important she wanted to tell him. He would have blamed that on why other kids didn’t like her, but with anyone else she thought quickly and would almost answer immediately every time. Jesse didn’t understand what about him made it harder for her to think, and it grinded his nerves every time it happened.  

“I know the other kids don’t like me, and I’m not sure why, but I don’t care either.” Jester finally responded, although she had looked away from his thumb and stared resolutely at her lap. Jesse felt a bonfire light up in his stomach.

“But it’s not fair! You’re nice and pretty and smart and-and everything Mother says a child needs to be to get friends,” Jesse explained to her further, trying to prove to Jester that this truly was a great injustice against her. Jester hadn’t gotten the friend talk from Mother, so she must not have known the same rules as Jesse.

“Life isn’t fair,” Jester responded, practically monotone, as she repeated a phrase their Father said often. She shook her head before continuing. “Besides, I don’t need anyone else besides you Jes.” Jester smiled at him, but despite her words and actions, something about her still screamed sad to Jesse, so he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her close to him. She wrapped her arms around him as well and rested her chin on his shoulder. She was warmer than he was, it was like hugging a blanket. Out of everyone in the world, his sister gave the best hugs, but Jesse would never say that out loud since Mother would get jealous. He would have continued the embrace longer, but Jester tore herself out of his arms when the sound of the front door slamming closed reverberated around the house.

“See you tomorrow Jes,” Jester whispered as she walked him out of her room. He waved when she closed the door and ran as quietly as he could to his own room. He was only inside long enough to take a deep breath before Mother was calling for him.

“Jesse dear, let’s go out for some ice cream before dinner!”

[perhapsitmaybedragons]

I am actually still doing ok on the writing front this year. I desperately wanted to write this Detective Conan one shot and I got it done. It is the longest one shot I have ever written (I’ve seen longer, but this is long for me).

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22690015

Shinichi/Ran pairing with Heiji running around being pals with Shinichi cause I love Heiji.

A Study In Scavenger Hunting

Twenty year old Shinichi Kudo could not for the life of him begin to understand what was going on. Usually mysteries were met with enthusiasm, especially since he’d regained his normal body three years ago. But when it came to his girlfriend, mysteries were rarely welcome. She’d come over for their usual date night then after he took a phone call he came back and found she’d vanished.

Well. Not vanished. She sent him a text, so he knew she was safe. And they’d talked on the phone since then, so he knew no one had taken her against her will (not that it would have been easy for most people to make Ran do something she didn’t want to do. Her karate skills had only gotten more fine tuned over the years.) But he hadn’t seen her in going on four weeks now. When she went by her parents’ place both insisted they hadn’t seen her, though he noted that Eri looked guilty. Shinichi had been a big help in getting her and Kogoro to see the light and get back together. She’d taken some pity on Shinichi and insisted that he didn’t need to worry. That Ran was just “working some things out”.

“Working things out,” he muttered to himself as he got dressed for work. He’d started going to college first, but the cops kept calling for assistance and before he knew it he had a job offer as a detective, though officially his title was ‘consultant’. He and Heiji had both been hired, and due to Shinichi agreeing to an ill advised bet, he wound up agreeing that the pair would work two years together in Tokyo and two years together in Osaka. He was still kicking himself over that one, but how was he to know that for once the battle Heiji wanted to face off in would be kendo instead of a battle of wits.

But they were on year one, so at least for now Shinichi was on his home field. Which also meant he had time to try to get out of it. Or to at least figure out different living arrangements. He and Heiji were close now, practically brothers, really (though Shinichi refused to admit this). But the pair weren’t suited to living together. They got along pretty well, but competitions between the two could be fierce and they were known to stay up most of the night trying to one up each other. Sometimes Ran and Kazuha joined them, but the girls almost always fell asleep before the guys were done.

“Ya still on about that, Kudo?” Heiji came out of the bathroom wearing only a tank top and boxers, a toothbrush in one hand that he gestured with wildly. “Just call her and ask,” he used the toothbrush to mime a phone call “'Ran! I love ya, why don'tcha tell me what’s going on?'”

Shinichi threw a pillow at him. “You’re going to be late if you don’t get more clothes on.”

“I can get dressed at the station,” he shrugged, “So long as I put some pants on, who cares? Besides, you’re tryin’ to distract from the point. And the point is to just come out and ask her.”

“Like you just came out and told Kazuha how you felt about her?”

“That was different,” Heiji sulked. “You took all the good spots. It took me ages to figure out a good enough place to tell her. And I did tell her…ya know. Eventually.”

“So Ran will tell me when she’s ready,” Shinichi shrugged. “I just have to wait.” He looked mature in the moment, but Heiji could see right through him. They both knew Shinichi was getting impatient and that he desperately wanted Ran to come clean about what was going on.

“What, you think she’s gonna dump ya?” Heiji put the toothpaste on his toothbrush. With a full mouth, he added “and wisha boat da ass her ta,” he brushed quietly for a moment and then ran into the bathroom to spit. “marry ya,” he finished.

“Idiot, who said anything about that?”

“Saw the ring box in your underwear drawer.”

“What were you doing in there?” Shinichi hissed.

“Looking for a clue,” Heiji said with a shrug.

“A clue for what, how to invade my privacy in as many ways as possible?!”

“A clue for why you were acting so funny a few weeks before Ran was. Honestly, I thought maybe you knocked her up or something. But then, she never spends the night here so I’m not sure you two have gotten there.”

“Maybe if you weren’t always here,” Shinichi said pointedly.

“Surprised it’s taken you this long to pop the question. You’ve been in love with her since what, grade school?” Shinichi didn’t answer him, so Heiji continued on. “She waited for you the whole time you were Conan and she didn’t freak on ya when she found out the truth after you changed back. So it’s weird she’s freaking out now, right? That’s why I wondered if you knocked her up, since nothing should have shaken her after the Black Organization got taken down.”

“Or it might make her more nervous,” Shinichi was mostly talking to himself so he moved from the bedroom to the living room. Heiji followed him. “Think about it, when we finally took them down…that was a rough day. We were lucky we all got out alive. Takagi-san got a broken arm and Mitsuhiko, Ayumi and Genta probably really need counseling but weren’t physically injured …but Ran found out the truth the same day we all almost died.”

The outcome had been the best they could possibly hope for, but Shinichi still felt guilty about the whole ordeal. The Black Organization had found him out and tracked him down ..to the elementary school. He and the Detective Boys had all been grabbed from the side of the road on the way home from school, he and Ai identities both having been discovered by the organization. The actual kids had been grabbed as a way to get he and Ai to comply no matter what. A gun to Ayumi’s head got a faster response from Ai than someone threatening her.

It had lead to a final showdown between the police and the organization, with Heiji leading the cops. In just a little over twenty four hours Conan Edogawa went from being a little kid to disappearing into Shinichi Kudo. And with how everything had gone down, the list of people who knew both sides were one and the same expanded from a handful to include Tagaki, Sato, Shiratori, Inspector Megure, the Detective Boys, Kogoro, Kazuha …and Ran.

“Maybe she would say no if I asked her,” Shinichi sank onto his couch and put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, looking miserable. “Maybe it’s just too much danger. Ran wants kids,” they’d never discussed it, but Shinichi knew Ran had always seen herself as a mother some day. “she wouldn’t want her husband, the father of her kids to be in danger all the time.”

“She knew the risks,” Heiji didn’t seem to see the big deal. Shinichi didn’t bother to pretend to be surprised. Heiji was a great detective, but he was also a 'miss the forest for the trees’ type when it came to emotions. “She agreed to date you, and that whole mess was years ago now. I bet nothing’s …hmm.” Heiji had been making his way to the front door, probably about to head out (Shinichi momentarily wondered when the guy had put pants on, but he wasn’t about to ask). But now Heiji was holding up an envelope that seemed to have been slid under the door. “Hmm. What’s this?”

“Hand it over,” Shinichi commanded. He could see his name on the envelope, and he knew that handwriting.

“What if I want to see what’s in it?”

Shinichi vaulted over the couch and snatched the letter before ripping it open.

Dear Shinichi,

I want to talk to you and get some things straight, but you’ll have to find me first. Not long ago you made a journey for a second time. Go there and await your next clue, which will be delivered by an irregular crew.

~Ran

Shinichi poked Heiji in the stomach. “All right, whats she up to?”

“You think I know?” he asked innocently.

“I get up earlier than you do,” Shinichi snorted, “ I already went this way multiple times and that letter wasn’t there. You pretended it came, but you actually dropped it from underneath your shirt before you pretended to pick it up. Which means whatever she’s doing, you’re in on it.”

“Oh, Kudo,” Heiji tsked at him, “The lady wants to play a game. You’re just gonna have ta play along with her.”

“And what about work?”

“I told them yesterday that you and I would both be out today,” Heiji gave him a thumbs up sign. “You’re all set. I’m just your guide to make sure you don’t go too far off the path.”

“So you already have the answers?”

“Actually, no,” Heiji admitted. “I helped her a little bit, but she came up with most of it and didn’t give me any clue for where we’re actually going. I’ll be seeing the clues at the same time as you. But I’m not allowed to tell ya anything.”

“Helpful,” Shinichi grumbled, taking his jacket off. If he was going to run around today he wasn’t going to do it in a full suit. The mystery aspect was intriguing and he was quite happy Ran had arranged this for him, but it was a little harder to be enthusiastic when the first clue was this obvious.

“So, where are we off to first?”

“Teitan Elementary school. She’s poking fun at my having to go there twice, and the 'irregular crew’ is the Detective Boys. Ran made a Sherlock reference,” his smile got brighter. “She’s calling them the Baker Street Irregulars. Guess she must have listened to me talk about Holmes so much some of it sunk in even if she didn’t want it to.”

They ran quickly to the elementary school and found the Detective Boys waiting for them at the playground. Ayumi and Mitsuhiko were on swings while Genta stood leaning against the swings’ frame. “Shinichi-kun!” Ayumi launched herself out of her seat and took off running into his arms. The boys followed suit. While they were saddened that “Conan” wouldn’t be by to play with them ever again, they had taken in stride that he and Shinichi were one and the same. Shinichi was now asked to babysit them from time-to-time and he took them to soccer games whenever he could. They didn’t know it yet, but he was currently working out a murder mystery party for them for Ayumi’s next birthday.

Shinichi gave each one a hug before putting them down. Part of him still expected to see Ai with them, but of course she had also returned to her adult body. But she still insisted on all of them calling her Ai, and had told the Detective Boys she really was Ai when they had asked for her true name. Ayumi grabbed his hand and yanked him down to her level, forcing him from his thoughts.

“Hi, Heiji-san!” she called over Shinichi’s shoulder before getting to business. “Your clue is ..umm… let’s see…Mitsuhiko?”

“Your own Auguste Dupin-” he started but Ayumi cut him off.

“Right! Your own Auguste Dupin is within the building, though no apes are in sight. Find her and ask for your next guiding light!”

“Dupin?” Shinichi titled his head to the side as he thought. His first though was to his father. Dupin, after all, was Sherlock’s predecessor. But that isn’t the first character he would pick for his dad, and somehow he knew Ran wouldn’t either. “Auguste Dupin was Edgar Allan Poe’s creation,” he muttered to himself, “similar to Sherlock, but came before him,” he tried to get into Ran’s mindset and let go of his own.

Who would set the framework to Ran’s mind? A builder? No, he was being too literal. Ran was smarter than that. Someone who laid the foundations for someone else, who made someone better. “A teacher?”

The kids nodded and smiled in response. “And we got one more for you!” Genta crooked his finger at Shinichi, indicating he should come closer. “What’s sticky and spotted all over?”

“I uh ….is that a joke one? Is this actually from Ran?” He felt like he’d heard a stupid joke like this sometime ago, but he couldn’t remember the answer.

“You,” Genta answered before Shinichi could process. He’d pulled a bottle of soy sauce out from under his shirt and managed to shake some of its contents on Shinichi’s formerly white shirt.

“Hey, what’s the deal?” He resisted the urge to call him a brat. The Detective Boys were all smiling up at him with the most over the top innocent looks he couldn’t take seriously. Somehow, this factored into Ran’s plans though he couldn’t figure out how. “Well, now I need to go home and change.

“You can’t!” Ayumi cried. “She said it’s important you get to the end as soon as possible. No stopping unless it’s a bathroom break.”

“All right, all right,” Shinichi agreed, trying to make sure Ayumi wouldn’t start crying. “Is Kobayashi-sensei inside?”

Ayumi nodded and wiped at her crocodile tears, forcing back the urge to smirk. She squeezed Shinichi’s hand and lead him into the school, with Mitsuhiko and Genta following closely behind. Heiji kept further back at a more leisurely pace. It was a weekend, so the school should have been closed, but apparently Ran had been calling in all sorts of favors. The group made a bee line for the classroom the Detective Boys and Conan had all once shared. Sumiko Kobayashi was at the front of the class, sitting on one of the desks chatting animatedly with Shiratori.

“Oh, Kudo-san. You’re making good time on this,” Shiratori said in approval. “Heiji-san,” Heiji gave a two fingered salute in greeting.

“Your clue is on the board. Please have a seat,” Miss Kobayashi said. Shinichi awkwardly sat in one of the desks, trying to figure out how to get his adult sized legs comfortably into the seat. “I didn’t mean there,” she said, laughing. “You can sit on a desk the way I was, just pick anything up if you knock it down.”

It was obvious that Miss Kobayashi was the one who had written the note on the board, though Shinichi figured Ran had still provided the clue.

Always a princess, my previous protector. Holding place in a different kind of court.

“Ooh, a princess,” Ayumi cooed.

“But what’s it mean?” Genta asked.

“You kids don’t already know?” Shinichi stared them down. He figured they’d probably crack if he gave them a stern enough look, but all three shrugged.

“She didn’t tell us the answers or what happens at the end,” Mitsuhiko admitted.

“Ok,” Shinichi decided not to press it. The group were usually bad liars, but if they were especially enticed by something they could all manipulate. “Well, we’ll see you guys later.”

“Where are we headed to now, Kudo?”

“The mall, to see one of my least favorite people.”

The mall was crowded, of course, but Sonoko was easily spotted in the middle, her arms crossed and looking annoyed. “Took you long enough, Detective Geek,” she said by way of greeting. Shinichi figured he was probably still making good time but without knowing the end game it was impossible to know for sure.

As he’d explained on the way to Heiji, Sonoko had been the one to defend Ran from bullies before Shinichi came into her life. And given her rich family, princess was only a slight exaggeration.

“So, what’s the next clue?”

“You’re not getting it.”

“What?!” Shinichi’s eyebrow twitched.

“You’re not getting it looking like that,” she pointed at the stain on his shirt.

“The kids did this to me, you think I left the house like this?” he felt a headache coming on. Sonoko had that effect on him sometimes. He didn’t hate her, but it wasn’t like he’d ever choose to spend time with her.

“At any rate, we’re getting you a new set of clothes and then I will give you the hint.”

“Don’t I just need a new shirt?”

But instead of answering him, Sonoko took off forcing Shinichi and Heiji to follow after her through the crowds until they came to an expensive boutique. Sonoko was being handed a package from one of the workers when the guys caught up to her. She thanked the worker and then shoved the clothes into Shinichi’s arms. “Go change. This one’s on me because I love Ran and you will not be seeing her dressed like that. Not today, anyway.”

Shinichi found a dressing room and swapped out his clothes. He emerged shortly wearing a nice, deep blue tuxedo.

“There. Cleaned up about as well as we can expect you to,” Sonoko said approvingly, grabbing his earlier clothes from him and throwing them in the garbage.

“Hey, I still need those!”

“No you don’t,” she insisted, “and you’re going to be late. You want your clue or not?”

He was about to protest, but noticed Heiji fishing the clothes out of the trash behind her. “Fine. Clue, please.”

“Well, for a great detective like myself, this clue would be too easy, but we’ll see how long it takes you to crack,” Sonoko gave a haughty laugh and Shinichi cringed. She was not on the list of people who knew about his time as Conan, and he didn’t want her to be. But he really wanted to let her know that all of her great solves had been him. Especially right now. “Anyway, the clue is:

Back to where you would have begun from,

Back into your den of friendly wolves

Not surprised to see you come,

That pair will give you the goods”

“Why do some of these rhyme?” Heiji wondered aloud. “And wolves/goods? Bad writing,”

Shinichi ignored him and focused on the words. “After all that trouble of you getting us an off day, and now we have to go to the precinct anyway.”

“Why’s that?” Sonoko asked, genuinely interested. “Ran said it was important that none of us know the answers.”

“Because of 'okami’, a not so nice slang term for police,” Shinichi explained. “usually spelled to mean 'one who is above’, but otherwise..”

“Wolves,” Sonoko and Heiji answered in unison.

“Ok, but who’s the pair?”

“The only pair of cops we know that’s dating each other and who knows about Conan,” Shinichi explained, waving for Heiji to follow him.

“What about Conan? He went back to America, dummy!’ Sonoko called after him. Neither Shinichi nor Heiji answered her.

What is Ran trying to lead me to? Shinichi wondered as he jogged along, a little annoyed by Heiji keeping pace next to him. They both raced into the police station, looking around for Takagi and Sato. The pair waved them over.

“Ah, you made it to us already. Great job!” Takagi said encouragingly.

“Though we wouldn’t expect any less of our little Conan-kun,” Sato ruffled Shinichi’s hair affectionately. Sometimes she slipped and called him Conan, but oftentimes it was fairly obvious that it was her intention. This was one of those times.

“Thanks, but could I get the next clue, please? I don’t know what time Ran is hoping to see me by. And she …I haven’t seen her in a few weeks.” He would not have admitted this to most people, but Takagi and Sato reminded him of himself and Ran so much that it made it easier for him to tell them his girl troubles. And they told him theirs in return. They were currently trying to get everything together to save up enough money that they could get married and Takagi could be a stay-at-home dad when they were ready to have children.

“Ok, then,” Sato suddenly stood at attention, “But while your clue was to lead you to us, we don’t have your next clue.”

“Who does, then?!”

“That would be me,” Inspector Megure patted him on the shoulder. He’d somehow snuck up behind him, causing Shinichi to jump. “You all right, there? You’re not usually so jumpy.”

“Sorry. Just too focused on this thing, I guess.”

“I understand,” Megure patted his shoulder before removing his hand. “Your clue is:

I craft something better,

but still stand above,

you can’t out reason me

but I give you my love

Even Holmes needs a home

And that’s all she wrote. Do you need me to write it for you?”

“No need, Inspector. I’ve got it.”

“She really needs to decide if she wants them to rhyme or not. These are all over the place,” Heiji complained.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Shinichi pointed out. “You could stay here and get some work done. I’m pretty sure you’re behind on your paper work.”

Heiji shushed him and gave a nervous glance at Inspector Megure. “He’s joking, he’s joking!”

“Hmm. Maybe I should just check on–” Megure started, but Heiji cut him off.

“Kudo, why don’t you explain what this clue meant? I bet everyone would love to hear, right? Right?” He elbowed Takagi, who nodded enthusiastically. Apparently he was pretty caught up in the whole thing, because he looked excited.

“She’s telling me to go to my parents’ old house and that my father will be there. Because, at least for now…he’s the Mycroft to my Holmes.”

“I didn’t know she knew this much about Sherlock Holmes,” Heiji pondered, “Thought she kept telling you to shut up about him.”

“I guess…I guess she wanted to make this special for me,” Shinichi admitted, considering something. If she was mad, if she was going to say no when he got ready to propose, why would she go through all of this? He didn’t know what was waiting at the end, other than Ran, but he would run like hell and through hell to get to her.

“Well, that’s my exit.”

“What do you mean? Are you actually going to stay and work?”

“Shuddup about that,” Heiji hissed at him. “Ran just said to stay with you until you got the clue to go see your folks. She said once you were there it should be all on you. I got somewhere I gotta be. See you later, Kudo.” he punched him in the arm and took off. Shinichi acknowledged his departure and waved his goodbyes to his fellow officers before making his way back to his old house.

His parents had offered it to him originally, and he planned to take them up on it …someday. For now he had wanted to try making it on his own. Heiji moving in hadn’t been a part of that plan, but it was probably for the best. The lights weren’t on inside, so it appeared that no one was home.

He knocked, but no one answered so he pushed the door open. “Hello?”

He was met with silence. He walked in, suddenly wary. Things going wrong seemed to be the rule of his life rather than the exception and part of him felt like he was going to walk into yet another murder mystery. But instead, all that happened was his mother pouncing on him from the darkness.

“I missed you!”

There was the sound of an irritated snort, and Shinichi blinked hard as someone flicked on a light. He had started to adjust to the darkness and the sudden change had his eyesight go all screwy for a moment. It wasn’t just his parents.

Eri and Kogoro were also standing there. And Kogoro looked irritated. He often glared at Shinichi before the teenager had become Conan. Now that he was back to normal the glares had gotten more intense, especially as Kogoro now knew it had been a mentally teenage boy seeing his daughter naked during bath times.

“Hello,” he greeted them awkwardly.

His dad squeezed his shoulder.

“Kogoro, say something nice,” Eri urged him.

“I will only say this once,” Kogoro’s arms were crossed so tightly Shinichi wondered if it was possible for it to cut off circulation. “For now, you make my daughter happy and that is the only reason I will allow this. If you ever make her unhappy…you will be dealing with her.”

“With her?” Shinichi raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

“You know damn well that girl can take care of herself. If you ever do anything to hurt her, I won’t have to come after you. I’ll just help her hide the body.”

“Understood, sir,” Shinichi agreed awkwardly. He coughed and then straightened up. “But I would never hurt her. …I wouldn’t try to, I mean. I love Ran a lot. Actually, I want to…I’d like to…”

“Don’t say it. I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it. It’s between you and her.” Kogoro wasn’t making eye contact and now he looked embarrassed. “I will accept whatever Ran says on it. And that’s as good as you’ll get from me.”

Eri patted him approvingly on the arm. “I have to say I agree with my husband. It’s for Ran to decide.”

“Dad, I believe you have the clue?”

“I do indeed. I offered to make it harder for her, but she wouldn’t let me,” Yusaku looked offended at the idea. “So here we are:

sakura”

“…that’s the whole thing?” Yukiko asked, looking irritated. “You probably forgot some of it, dear.”

“No, that’s it. Shinichi knows what it means.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because he already left,” Eri pointed out. “Look, he didn’t even close the door after himself.”

“I can’t believe I’ve agreed to help with this,” Kogoro muttered.

“What, you don’t approve of him?” Eri looked amused. “I agree, marrying a detective is always trouble.”

Kogoro muttered something under his breath, but Eri ignored him. “Should we get going, then? His next stop is to her, right?”

“I don’t know,” Yukiko admitted, “She didn’t tell me the clues or the route. Just a general idea of what’s going to happen.”

“It’s the last clue,” Yusako said confidently. “And I think we all know what’s going to happen,” He pulled his wife close to him. “And I think it’s about time.”

His first thought was that Ran would be inside the old preschool, but he found her outside sitting on a bench apparently waiting for him.

“Sakura. For the sakura classroom where we first met,” he said appreciatively. “Solving the clues required knowing Holmes, Dupin and about our lives together so far.” he sat down beside her on the bench. She wore a red dress, and was staring intently at the paper scraps on her lap. Shinichi looked closer and realized they were like the paper badges she had made them in preschool. Wordlessly, she handed them over to him.

The first one had her name on one side. On the other side, what was written was:

Time to play a dirty trick,

Turn about is fair game

Hope I’m not being too slick

So ask about my name

“Your name?” He asked aloud, looking at the other badge. His name was on one side. The other side read

My answer is yes.

“Answer?” he pondered it over, going through the events of today. Starting with the fact that Heiji had brought up the ring box in Shinichi’s underwear drawer. “You mean….Ran?” She finally looked up at him, a gentle smile on her face. “You knew I was going to ask?”

She nodded. “I wasn’t trying to snoop. Sonoko told me I should leave some stuff at your place so I could finally spend a night with you…something about it being easier, I don’t know,” She blushed bright red, “But when I opened your drawer to put some clothes in I found the box and I knew what it was without looking,” she pulled her purse out from under her the bench and fished the ring box out. “I put an empty box back because I figured you wouldn’t look at the ring until you were ready. And I wanted to surprise you with something you’d like. I’m sorry, I know the clues weren’t very elaborate and-” she was cut off by him pressing his lips to hers. He tried to pour all the emotions he could into that kiss. How much he loved her, cared about her …wanted her. How much he appreciated that she would do so much for him. He pulled away only after he felt satisfied he had conveyed exactly how he felt through that kiss.

“You did so much for me, Ran. Thank you,” he grabbed the ring box out of her lap and opened it before sliding the ring on her finger. Diamonds and rubies blended together, since red was both of their favorite color. “But why did you not want to see me the last few weeks?”

“It took a while to put everything together, and when I decided to have a clue to lead to your dad I had to wait for them to come back to Japan from the states. They agreed to it right away, but had some things to wrap up before they could come. Originally Ai and Professor Agasa were going to help, too, but they said they wanted to help with something else.”

“Something else?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “We’re supposed to go to an address they gave me after we’re done here.”

Somehow I think I know what they’re up to, Shinichi thought crossly. Right now he wanted Ran to himself, but he knew what was coming next. He pushed himself up and pulled her up with him.

“But why did you have the kids spill soy sauce on me?”

“So sauce? I didn’t ask them to spill anything on you.”

So that was Sonoko’s idea alone, huh? Figures, he thought.

“Where do you think we’re going?” She asked, handing him the address Ai had given her.

“I don’t know about the where, but I bet I know what will happen when we get there.”

“What’s that?”

“An engagement party!” Ayumi, Masumi and Sonoko shouted in unison as Ran and Shinichi walked through the door. The address had been to a hotel, where a helpful front desk person had ushered them into a large ballroom where all their friends and family were waiting.

“Let me see that ring!” Kazuha said excitedly, pulling Ran’s hand towards her. “ooh, nice!”

“Kudo,” Heiji grabbed him by the collar. “That’s not fair, now I’ve gotta do better for when I ask her,” he kept his voice low so Kazuha wouldn’t hear.

“Have you considered not one-upping me?” Shinichi asked gruffly, but Heiji ignored him.

“Let’s see…can’t ask too soon or it looks like I’m stealing your thunder. Ugh, I don’t wanna spend this much money.”

Shinichi rolled his eyes and left his friend to his muttering. He linked his arm back in with Ran’s. “Did everyone know I was going to propose?”

“Yes,” All three Detective Boys chorused at him.

“It was really easy to figure it out,” Mitsuhiko started. “First, you started to get all quiet and contemplative around her.”

“Then, one day, you stopped looking the same. You looked determined!” Ayumi added. “And then-”

“And then the three of us saw you in the jewelry store,” Genta explained.

Well, that explained it. Those three had seen him, gotten over excited and blabbed at some point. “Do you three want to be in the wedding?” Ran asked them. They all nodded their agreement.

“And what about me?” Ai poked Shinichi in the back and both he and Ran turned to face her.

“Well, I don’t think you’d want to be a flower girl, but you could be a bridesmaid if you wanted!” Ran grabbed Ai’s hands and squeezed.

“You’re too pure and you’re too good for him,” Ai chuckled.

“Gee, thanks.”

“But maybe I’ll take you up on that. At the least, I would like an invitation.”

“Did you guys invite everyone we know here?” Shinichi looked around the party and made mental notes of each person he saw. Some were from old cases he’d solved, some were his high school friends, there were loads of cops running around and of course the Detective Boys were weaving in and out of the crowd. “I half expect to see Kaito Kid pop out of somewhere.”

“Oh, he was here earlier,” Professor Agasa explained, apparently summoned out of thin air.

“What?!”

“He left a gift on the table,” he gestured in that direction.

“Wait…Professor,” Shinichi cottoned on quickly. “What’s your brother’s name again?”

“Brother? I don’t have a brother.”

“So why are there two of you here?”

Agasa took off running, and Shinichi decided not to run after him. The real Professor Agasa was engrossed in a conversation with Shinichi’s mother. And the fake …well, if Kaito Kid was kind enough to bring him an engagement present, he supposed he could let him go this time. Especially since he had more important matters to attend to right now.

“Was that-”

“Yep.”

“Do you need to-”

Shinichi put a hand on each of Ran’s arms and squeezed gently, making sure she was looking him in the eyes. “I’m not running off and leaving you ever again. There’ll be another time to catch Kaito Kid. Right now…right now I just want to be with you.”