#it made me rlly sad because I feel a lot of connection to that love story ok

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

A long ass time ago I made a post talking about the Nimona characters from the Comic and Movie meeting each other (I have made several and I cannot remember which of them this specific post was) and I was making the typical jokes that were funny six months ago like "M!Ambro would try to beat up C!Ambro haha" and one of the notes made a joke to the effect of Blackheart would intentionally allow M!Ambrosius (a twenty-something able-bodied man) to beat up his (disabled, middle-aged) partner. and it was before I felt comfortable saying shit but it has rubbed me the wrong way ever since. And I can't find the post or the person who said that, nor do I really want to bc I'm not in the business of opening cans of expired beef, and if it was you and you still follow me or you see this, no hard feelings at all like dw about it lol it was ages ago in fandom time and I don't hold it against anyone, but please accept this very late message:

He Would Not Fucking Do That

[nightcolorz]

woahh okay first time i attempted to send this ask my tumblr glitched and deleted it. idk if it sent but ignore it if so i wanted to reword it anyway. (tw for sa discussions and sexual abuse/trauma)

either way ive been thinking a lot about the post you wrote about armand’s (or amadeo’s) hypersexuality in venice and i saw a very similar post on twitter, essentially saying armand was so confused and horny in venice and ended up going to bianca for solice (then feeling incredibly guilty about it) and then later harlech as he weaponised his sexuality as a form of revenge on marius “ignoring” him (eventually tragically leading to his death)

it just puts such a tragic image into my head of amadeo in bianca’s bedchamber, crying and crying after having sex with her because he doesn’t understand why he feels the way he does, why he desires sex so much after all he’s been through, and not realising it is a trauma response, a last ditch effort to keep himself alive by acclimatising to his environment of sexual abuse, and then it later killing him anyway.

Armand is so Sad. im so sad.

any other thoughts from you?

doooonttt worry lol ur previous ask didn’t send haha (I’m sorry stinky tumblr deleted it tho damn) but I LOVE this ask so thank u sm for resending it!!

omgg this makes me so sad holy shit 😭 I never made the connection that Amadeo’s hyper sexuality reaction to sa trauma led to his death but ugh, omg, ur so right that’s so tragic. It’s also specifically Marius abusing him that leads him to his death, bcus Armand feeling the massive loss of agency and control over his life and sexuality cuz of Marius causes him to get with harlech (someone he knows is dangerous) bcus he wants to make Marius angry and to distance himself from his perceived control by self destructing. Marius starts having Armand go to brothels against his will, Marius resents Armand for doing the thing he told him to and starts “ignoring him”, boom harlech boom death

the Bianca thing is so interesting, especially Armand’s guilt and perceived lack of control of his actions. It’s like, he is realizing that for reasons he can’t understand he isn’t able to control his sexual impulses and he is consumed by them in a way that dictates his behavior, which is scary as shit especially for someone who has been taught to be frightened of sexuality for his entire life. Armand seems to perceive himself being hyper sexual as akin to being like his abusers, where he seems to think that since he can’t control his sexual urges and makes poor decisions bcus of horniness hes akin to a rapist which 😰💔 that type of guilt is rlly common for sa victims who experience complicated reactions to trauma unfortunately. But ugh.

slight change of topic, but I always think about how hard and strange it must’ve been for Amadeo to go from 24/7 sex and sexual urges to sexless being thrown into catholic cult where u can’t bathe urself let alone fuck. Like that’s the kind of whiplash between two harmful extremes that makes someone into a person like Armand, lmao

[babyspacekwid]

Some of my Astro placements and how they manifest

Chiron 4th house:

This placement talks of a wound surrounding the family and home, and well, I would often search for a home because no where to me felt like home. I still feel misunderstood and out of place, BUT, I have made deep and valuable connections that have helped guide me and make me feel the love I should have had. Not to say this placement is completely hopless, it’s beautiful and it’s real and it’s tough, but you come out stronger. I use to hate that fucking perspective too. Like okay??? Who gaf if I come out stronger I’m fucking suffering, like why didn’t I get the parents everyone else has? Why’d I have to walk on eggshells? I felt like my anger and sadness was invalidated because I didn’t feel strong. I felt worthless and disorganized. I was a mess and I still am. Idk if that’s ever gonna change tbh, but despite all, it’s true. You DO come out stronger. In every aspect I have. Home is your people it was never a place, home is your mother cradling you for the first time in a while, it’s your friends taking care of you when you’re sobbing. Home is your dad realizing his mistakes and apologizing. Home is a feeling, it’s refreshing and comforting. Home was never suppose to be stressful, or feel like a war zone. To whoever has this same placement I feel you and I love you.

Mars in Aquarius in the 5th house

I do things unconventionally and I only realize this when I’m with other ppl. It can be as simple as the way I eat my burger, to my taste in music. Which is everything. I like literally everything. I don’t care the genre. If it’s good and catchy I love it. I did a lot of different hobbies as a kid too? Like taekwondo, dance, soccer, painting, singing, writing. But I never stayed long in any of those hobbies. Loved anime which ik everyone likes these days but where I live and during my childhood it was still a bit taboo or considered weird to watch. I was the kid that got along with everyone at school too. I didn’t see the point in highschool having a social hierarchy of popularity. It’s fucking stupid. I remember this one kid in my class who everyone thought was weird, which from their perspective I understand because he liked to talk about taboo topics that everyone thought was outrageous, but I was enjoying conversing with him because his perspectives were fresh and built my own views and opinions. I also have a 5th house stellium and I just fucking hate anything that isn’t fun like. I can’t do the 9-5 I have to enjoy my life like this society was not meant for the way my brain works istg.

Lilith 8th house

Constant comments were made about my body when I was young. From good to bad to what the actual fuck are you saying to a 12 year old. No cause it still happens and I’ve learnt to deal with it, but it has greatly affected how I view myself, my sexuality, and my comfortability with it.

Sun and moon in Gemini

I got the worst of both worlds wtf is this?! Considering my chart is 60% air signs you’d think I’d be use to it but I’m notttttt. I try to stray away from the stereotypical “Geminis intellectualize their emotions” but it’s true we do, but I think it’s cause feeling our emotions are overwhelming. Geminis ARE emotional. There’s just so much going on that my brain decides “I need a solution to this now cause feeling is pain” also hate that I’m not consistent. Consistency is my worst enemy, it doesn’t agree with me and my behaviours and we have an ongoing tense relationship, so I don’t finish anything. Not the books I wanna write or the paintings I wanna finish. Working on it tho 😭

Jupiter in Leo in the 11th house

I know so many people, and the friends I’ve made feel like my soul family. We’re siblings at this point. (Also rlly love the spotlight. What can I say I’m an attention whore)

[dirtmunch]

when i get involved w peopel i always very quickly get the sense that the other person likes me a lot more than i like them which makes me feel so uneasy and uncomfortable and guilty, like im puttin on an act and trying not to get caught. but also like mad that theyre over interpreting how i interract w them and assuming its the same head over heelsness as theyre feeling, like theyr eputting words in my mouth :/ its not as if i dislike them at all, but i can tell they are way more invested in me than i am them :( i feel like im deficient in that sense and can never rlly feel true love or attraction like that wholesale like other ppl seem to be able to and ill never find true love bc of it ughhhhh.

but the one time i DO feel genine yearning and love and affection to someone its w a girl itll never happen w cuz she moved ;O; she was a grad student in print n me and a couple otehr print gworls got super close, but i graduated before them and i felt like they didnt give a shit about me after even tho i tried so hard to keep up the connection. she graduated in may n recently moved outta state fir work next i see shes made an insta post talking abt another girl in the group as her best friend n how grateful she was to have met her and im just like :’‘‘‘‘‘‘( so jealous and sad and mad at happenstance that i happened to graduate when i had to and they still didnt and because fo this someone else became the closest one to her.... like the one time i feel like im feeling actual love this is what happensssssssss but what can i do abt it!!!!! im also so mad ive been made to feel liek such an outsider and scrapped by ppl just bc i moved like... slightly farther away. liek they never responded to texts never tried to reciprocate when i tried making plans never tried to reach out first to make plans w me themselves

makes me feel awful bc im dating a rlly nice girl rn, we ARE explicitly open and casual bc we r both moving in 2 weeks n knew we’d have to split at the end of the summer but i just find myself thinking abt how much fun and geuine joy and how relaxed id be having if i was with the other girl and how i could actually b myself instead of putting on the act in front of my gf bc she expects the same amout of love she feels towards me *from* me. but i also feel like my gf and i are dating more out of proximity and convenience cuz we’re both 20 somns living at home w parents in the burbs, but i dont think she rlly gets me in the way i know the other girl does and has. like we like each other but at a fundamental level dont mesh. somethign somethign divergent evolution of a twitter user vs a lifelong tumblr girlie.

when i think of the other girl i want to cook for her bc i love how happy she looks when she eats the food i make, i wanna talk about dumb shit without putting on the front i have to w my gf so she doesnt feel totally confused, i wanna crochet for her i wanna decorate for her but its never happening!!!!!!!!!

[sevlawless]

Top 5 moments Arabella thinks of when they reminisce on their past w seven (I chose violence)

u rlly did pls know i have thought abt this ask at least once a day since getting it LMFAO sorry it's taken me so long to respond

under the cut because i am insane abt them but we all knew that already (see the url and the web weaving and the fic and-)

these are in no particular order also they r just all equally sad 💔

ask me my top five anything!

1. the fight tm - more than likely the last time she talked to seven for more than a minute LMFAO she thinks abt all the things they said to each other and honestly wishes she didn't say the horrible shit she did because of COURSE she didn't mean it but it is what it is you know ... she never wanted to hurt him but that night they were both hurting each other and she just couldn't hold back despite knowing everything she was saying was wrong and she thinks A LOT abt if seven feels that way too ... maybe she'll find out soon ! LMFAO

2. their first kiss - i've said this before but for my personal headcanons abt sevenbella they kiss for the first time on arabella's 21st birthday bc he got her a really thoughtful gift that she wanted for a WHILE and just that feeling of someone completely understanding you inside and out they know you better than you know urself etc. anyways she thinks abt how that arabella would feel if she knew how it all played out .. would she still kiss him? would she still date him? the answer is yes ofc but it eats her up LMFAO

3. when they first met - just two middle schoolers who had no idea the impact they would have on each other .. LMAO and just all those sleepovers and getting to know each other and being inseparable she misses it desperately and she knows she will never have that type of connection with anyone ever again as much as she tries to recapture it

4. getting their tattoos - arabella is heavily tatted and is very like .. she KNOWS getting ur partner's name initials etc. tatted on u is just bad luck but she was in love with this mfer all her tattoo etiquette went out the window 😭 more specifically she thinks abt that night before they went to sleep both drunk as hell but feeling very much in love and tracing her finger over seven's tattoo and vice versa and telling each other how much they mean to one another :) i made myself depressed with this one

5. writing their first dead apple song together - do i know what this song is? NO! but anyways LMFAO just being excited abt being in a band with ur friends and feeling so proud of writing a song with ur bestie ! this song made it onto their very first ep and although it isn't on any streaming platforms anymore arabella still has the first demo of it on her computer and when she's feeling especially bad down she listens to it (and because of the very end if u listen close enough u can hear seven laughing and god she misses his laugh but EYE cannot get into that rn)

[raystie]

my dude im sorry i didnt see this earlier lmfao !!! this is mostly what i posted to twitter although i've changed some things here and there. its also quite long so i had to put it under the read more cut

this is rlly long and yet not every single thought i have about the game so apologies in advance. this is also gonna be super messy because i cant articulate shit well because my brain is fried but anyway. definitely some major pacing issues and some segments felt like a DRAG, lot of plot moments that felt as ridiculous as y4 (incredibly cheesy or stupid plot twist that makes no sense, especially at the end ...), but overall i still immensely enjoyed the game and the experience. one of my top titles in the mainline for sure now. they tried a lot of new things and a lot were misses but it still had a lot of hits and its so cool to see how they took most of the good stuff to put into y0 that made that title a fan favorite

the best thing about this game is shinada actually. he is truly my favorite character of the whole game, i was gonna write more but it would take too long and i can't really describe everything he makes me feel but i found him to be the most compelling and emotional character. to me he had a rlly fresh/unique backstory where as a non yakuza protag he had NO criminal ties (unlike akiyama and tanimura), and bcos of this i consider him the bravest protag because he does not live a life of danger but threw himself into it anyway. ppl like akiyama and tanimura have the liberty of having resources (money and connections) and proper training and preparation for being involved with criminal activity but shinada don't know a damn thing and had multiple attempts on his life and STILL chose to pursue the truth and i just love him so much for that. i found him really touching at times, like the unwavering trust he had in the townspeople, and he has some of the RAWEST scenes in the whole game, such as the one on the rooftop with milky and the one near the end where he cries twice sitting alone at the balcony. explaining why is gonna take too long (and make me wanna cry) so if you get it you get it. also while he is one of the biggest babygirls ever i don't even want to call him that because that would just feel like a disservice to how much he actually means to me. hes more than that <3 i can go on but i will stop that for now

majima was actually, imo, the WORST character of the game. he's so incredibly OOC that i kinda refuse to believe this is canon. i have 2 main gripes with him, the first being how badly written his relationship with park is. there's so many unanswered questions that could have been used to explore his character even more especially considering its such a big plot point but instead opted to him just literally not even ACKNOWLEDING the relationship from his own goddamn mouth. u could tell me them putting majima's name on the letter was fake and he never sent that and i would believe u. and why the fuck did they write park to make him sound literally abusive like he would NOT do that. sorry. he just wouldnt. rgg was too focused on trying to make her backstory sad and traumatic that they butchered majima along the way. the second gripe is the way he quite literally betrayed saejima when ... he wouldn't ?? like you're telling me because he thought saejima was "weak" (vague and lazy reason) so he made a choice for saejima to be expelled from the clan? doesn't this just show majima's lack of trust in saejima, and breaking their kyodai bond? and its just sadder that saejima had complete faith in majima, that if majima died that is his own responsibility. majima basically chickened out and went oh but you're weak 🥺 i'm going to impose my own weakness onto you and make a choice for you that you would never do yourself LIKE BITCH THIS IS NOT IN YOUR HEART just communicate better or something!!!!! he made me so mad lmfao his only redeeming quality here is being cute as usual

this isn't a y5 post if i dont talk about kiryu and haruka obv. there's a lot of obvious things to be said about kiryu being miserable without his family so i won't get too much into it but i loved that you can really see the build up to it (y1 when adopting haruka is the only thing keeping him going in life after losing everyone else, y3 when running the orphanage is him being the happiest and also struggling to hold onto it as long as he can, conversation with saejima where they talk about how family was the only thing for them to look forward to). haruka's motivations are unclear throughout most of the game as i couldn't quite tell if she REALLY wanted to be an idol or not, but i think that's more reflective on the fact that haruka herself wasn't sure either. but regardless, the end rlly broke me. there's a cool (and by that i mean devastating) parallel of how there are so many eyes on haruka as the gives her performance but at the end of it all she only had eyes for her father 💔

i feel like i wanna talk about her just because shes so polarizing but i DON'T hate park. i think shes a more morally grey and complex character but regardless whether she did the actual "correct" thing or not i think she genuinely believed she was giving haruka a better life. shes a civilian who is going to believe pulling a teenaged civilian girl away from the yakuza is the right thing to do, and losing her baby many years ago probably helped in her treating haruka like a daughter. and yes she did live her idol dream through haruka vicariously but i also don't believe she "forced" haruka to be an idol. she's not THAT powerful, if haruka fully objected to it she wouldn't go in the first place. i also find her realistic in her own way so i found myself liking her as a character. but as i briefly mentioned in the majima rambling above they wrote her so badly majima's character got caught in the crossfire. hate them for that

the ending gave me a lot of mixed feelings because of the ambiguity and things not explained. like why did no one go to rescue him but also how the fuck did haruka know he was there. but the way hes literally dying crawling on the ground and the only thing keeping him going is the thought that everyone depending on him was waiting for him... ok rgg i see how it is u want me to die by a broken heart. and ofc they have to end the game with "yume" again but i forgive them for that one since it wasn't forced like the previous gazillion times it was mentioned. the way it's just the two of them makes the moment feel lonely, but also like as if nothing else really mattered except that they're reunited again, which is why i am ok with it being ambiguous. maybe the true y5 plot was the goal of reuniting along the way /hj

gonna be honest i don't really have much thoughts on akiyama and saejima. i like saejima in it a lot better and his dynamic with baba is also really emotional and his scene at the end .... chefs kiss ... but i've run out of brain juice to think about that too much. akiyama is kind of just there to be convenient to the plot. don't really care that he didnt get his own side story actually, i already spent way too long on this game.

watase and katsuya are gay for each other

that's it really thanks if anyone actually read all that

I finished yakuza 5 some time ago. shinada is mine now

[ruvatia]

Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

<I found a way to modify notifications sent to another device.>

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Is it possible to be completely caught up with twitter? I follow like 500 accounts.>

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

<Oh here I was thinking that this was an intervention to brighten my mood. We’re dragging each other’s follows now?>

<Oh please like you don’t want to be dragged, with that kind of follow list.>

<I can’t believe you’ve done this.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

[idlepebbles]

just rewatched raya for the first time in a couple months and I thought I'd give some random thoughts lol

- I will literally never watch the English dub again because I loved the bahasa Indonesia one so so so much. the voices were perfect and it filled a hole in my heart istg

- the plot feels really fragmented and I wonder if it has to do with how the work was literally fragmented with each person off in their home for the second half of production

- I was initially mad about having SEAsia blended together, however now I think that this is a good first step. having a movie come out that was just one of us probably would have caused some bitterness and I'm somewhat glad we can all just share this piece of representation until we all get up there and make our own :)

- the trust message feels a bit too nuanced/confusing for a kid's movie tbh. it felt like it always framed sisu as correct for randomly trusting ppl and raya as having trust issues when... yeah??? ofc she has trust issues? both of them had flaws in their outlook but it felt like raya was constantly criticized for it

- I didn't know that there were deleted scenes and other extras and they were so fun!! I loved seeing what aspects of the movie were from what culture :) seeing it say that pencak silat was the martial art that raya's was based on made me so happy!

- one day I want to dress up as raya bc istg that's what I look like :o I love the character design in this movie. almost cried the first time I watxhed bc omg that's me. wtf. that's my eyes and nose and hair??? I am so attached because of this??? and chief Benja looks just like my papah so it's just T-T yeah...

- raya barely did anything wrong. maybe im saying this bc I also have issues with needing to control things. in fact... probably... but still lmao imo she wasn't at fault for sisu's death bc namaari was about to pull the trigger.

- tuktuk being a pill bear is such a cute concept and I love it. he's just so cute. me and both of my sister's have plushies of him :)

- I'm still sad we didn't get fun music tbh. esp after watching encanto it feels like a lost opportunity even tho ik the tone of this movie was a lot darker. speaking of which, I love the cinematography but I kind of wish there were more bright colors?? idk, again, I don't know if it would match the vibe lol I wonder if we'll get a bright and happy movie one day. that would be fun. our cultures are so bright and beautiful and despite colonization and violence we have so much happiness to share

- not to beat a dead horse, but yea the jokes... aren't great. not a fan of them bc they rlly take me out of the immersion. why couldn't we just get funny jokes that aren't based on being #relatable. not everything needs to work for western ppl. we could have had inside jokes only we got.

- sisu's design also isn't my favorite but honestly I don't like how everyone acted about it. it really wasn't as terrible as ppl made it out to be and it's still clearly a dragon with SEAsian roots. that's not a European dragon that breathes fire

- the food makes me so happy :) I was eating longon and lychee and actually shrieked when I saw it on screen and I had Tom yum for dinner and that's so fun bc I was thinking about how much I wanted to try their soup and apparently that's what it's based on!!!

- I wish they had actually used a mix of different languages instead of making things up. like they could have had a word from each country or smthn instead of making up a random word. would have felt way more connected.

- the lack of SEAsian VAs makes me sad. partially why I love the Indonesian version so much is it alleviates some of that discomfort. I don't think the performances were bad (for the most part. I'm looking at you random really deep voiced girl from the market) but it just makes me so so sad. we had a thing for once and they just went. nah east Asians instead! like... why. it's not like we're not in the industry. ik Kelly Marie tran and awkwafina and Benedict Wong are popular but y'all rlly could've gotten a SEAsian for at least the side roles :(

- oh also the awkward way they say their names and made up words makes me so uncomfortable lmao. I think this every time I see a cartoon about a culture with another language but goddamn could you just give them an accent so the mixed in words from another language feel more cohesive? they managed to do this in encanto so goddamn have them roll some Rs sometimes lmao

- I love Boun and Tong and Toi and Benja and the ongis and it kind of makes me sad that there's only content for raya and namaari. sort of feels like yt queers just took the queer bits and decided that the rest of the cultural stuff wasn't as interesting.

- on the flip side some of the fanart is so fucking cool and I'm glad there's so much good stuff! and these characters are gay. so gay. they are just. so lesbians. the eye contact. the tension. the hand holding. the undercut and cat lady jokes (while western oriented) are yeah. theyre friends to enemies to lovers your honor. there's nothing else to be said

- the droon being an allegory for colonialism is something I just saw and that's rlly interesting. next time I watch I'll have to keep that in mind. would really change how I look at the movie I think. would add a layer of depth that could be interesting to think about.

in conclusion, I love this movie sm, it makes me cry every time, and I'm so fucking glad my little sisters have a south east Asian princess to look up to :)

edit: there have been many videos made recently about raya and in my watching of them, I noticed all of them said that the cast was almost fully east Asian including Kelly Marie Tran. a lot of issues that people have had are that she is east Asian and claiming the seasian princess but???? she is seasian?? I just checked and she's literally vietnamese?? I'm so confused why has everyone been acting like she was an east Asian coopting seasian roles?? help??

[wienerbarnes]

A Certain Romance (2/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,685

Warnings: not rlly anything

A/N: a lil bit of a deeper dive for these two’s relationship👀... enjoy!

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

Your apartment is nice. Very you.

Sam invited him out to some restaurant, but after the last one he suggested, he decided to pass. And when Sam asked him what he was doing instead, if he was seeing you, Bucky lied and said yes. It made Sam happy and got him out of going to another ridiculous restaurant, so he saw it as a win-win.

Once Sam left, though, his thoughts did drift to what you were doing.

You two exchanged numbers at the pizza place after your date, but you two haven’t texted much. He texted you making sure you got home safe, which you did, and a day or so after, you texted him a picture of some advertisement with an awfully cheesy pick-up line written on it, which even he agreed was awful.

But that’s about it. So, he texts you.

Hey. What are u doing?

About to make dinner. Y?

Told Sam I was seeing u. Wanna hang out?

Come over.

Simple enough, he thinks.

You two haven’t had the most meaningful text conversations, clearly, but it’s still nice. No flirting, no typing and retyping messages in order to hook, line, and sinker, no ghosting. No relationship texting.

It was a dream for him. To have a new friend. He’s made plenty of friends, both in New York and in Wakanda. But it’s all under the same… umbrella. Always an agent, a fighter, an analyst of some sort. Someone to train with, to fight with, to fight for. Never someone like you. Someone that works a mundane job and lives in a mundane part of New York where her weekends are filled with going on mundane blind dates or otherwise cooking dinner for one.

It’s a breath of fresh air to not talk about fighting or missions or press or media or anything else he has to hear about at work. The only connection you have with Sam is that you met in a coffee shop a few years ago that has since closed down. He was one of your first friends here.

You could care less about Captain America, too. Which hurts Sam’s ego, and in turn, makes Bucky smile.

So, he goes over to yours.

He’s not sure what you’re making, but he brings a bottle of red wine as a courtesy. You are making dinner after all. Besides, women love wine, right?

Your apartment is nice. Very you.

Enough going on to show that someone does indeed live here, but also enough to show that you’re not exactly swimming in riches, like most people that live in this city.

The place smells like garlic and basil, and he’s glad that he brought the wine.

Shoes discarded at the door, he helps chop up the rest of the ingredients while you put a pot of water to boil. He chops up mushrooms, onion, pancetta, eyeing the bottle of vodka out on the table and tube of tomato paste next to his hand.

It's an understatement to say he’s excited. Most of the pasta he makes is from a bag of precooked noodles and a jar of tomato sauce.

Basic small talk floats through the air as the two of you dance around one another in the kitchen. Even though you’re “dating”, you don’t know much about each other. This isn’t too uncommon from how dating was for Bucky when he was a teenager; you’d marry women knowing very little about them.

Your favorite color is orange. You played violin in grade school. You had a childhood dog named Chowder. Bucky tells you his favorite color is green. He played a little bit of piano when he was younger, but did boxing in his late teens and early twenties before the war. You poke fun at him when he can’t remember the name of his own childhood dog.

“He’s probably rolling over in dog-heaven.”

“Good boy; he’d deserve a treat.”

You laugh.

Easy conversation continues on the couch as bowl after bowl of pasta is eaten and replenished. As fun and seemingly simple questions are asked, like each of your favorite movies or whether or not you pour the milk before the cereal, the room that’s left is used for deeper questions.

“What’s your most embarrassing moment?” You ask him.

He thinks for a moment before opening his mouth, only to close it again. “One time when Princess Shuri was fixing my arm it wasn’t secure completely, so it flew off while I was playing with some of the children.”

“That’s not your most embarrassing moment. I know it’s not, now you have to tell me what it really is.” You tease him.

He’s never been the best liar.

“You’re right, it’s not my most embarrassing moment. My actual most embarrassing moment is just kind of… sad. And I didn’t want to ruin the mood or anything.” He explains, hoping you’ll accept that but instead you give him an encouraging smile to hopefully give him some comfort that whatever it is he wants to tell you is safe in your apartment.

“Okay, uhm. So, in the 40’s, after I was rescued by Steve, but before we shipped out again where I was recaptured for the second and final time. We were all holed up in this little dance club, all the soldiers and their gals. And in walks Peggy Carter in a pretty red dress,” He begins, only glancing at your eyes periodically as if to make sure you’re still there.

“I know she’s Steve’s gal, he told me all about her. I wasn’t flirting with her because I wanted her, I was flirting with her… to make sure I still could. I mean, after being held in that… place… they injected me with stuff, told me things that weren’t true, I mean Steve told me I was repeating my number over and over again when he found me, I didn’t even remember doing that. I felt… violated, used, not like myself. I felt like I wasn’t me anymore.

“So, when Peggy walked in, I thought about how everyone always called me a ladies man, how good I was with women, I mean, I’d take girls out about every damn weekend, you know? I wanted to feel normal, so I flirted with her, tried to get her to dance with me. And she completely ignored me. She never even took her eyes off of Steve. It’s like I was invisible. And it just sort of felt like the nail in the coffin for whoever James Barnes was before the war. It was a realization that I’m never going to be that person again. And it was embarrassing for me.” He explains.

He hasn’t looked up at you again, but he heard your fork stop moving around your bowl a minute or so ago. He feels a lump in his throat thinking about that time, how he knew he’d never get back the man he was, even before knowing what was in store for him after falling off that train. How he used to be this man that wanted a long, happy marriage, six or seven kids running around a big backyard, a white picket fence surrounding a big two-story house in a neighborhood of identical homes. He wanted the cheesy life, at one point. But the same man that wanted that life died falling off a train many years ago.

All of that’s forgotten, though, when you open your mouth, and seem to say the perfect thing to make him feel better.

“One time in the third grade, this girl pulled my skirt down in front of my crush, and I wasn’t wearing any undies.”

A snort escapes his throat as you, somehow, after he’s shared something so deeply personal, something he never even told Steve or Sam about, still found a way to make him laugh. Which is what he wanted, he realizes. The comfort of moving on from that confession and not having to wallow in it like other people would try to. His hand leaves his fork to cover his face as tears threaten to leak out from how hard he’s laughing.

He took that secret to the grave, even if it wasn’t his own. He told himself he’d never tell Steve about how he felt in that situation, and he never did. He never told Steve that he didn’t enlist, either. He couldn’t imagine how Steve would’ve felt knowing that the army would’ve rather taken men that didn’t want to go to war, men who were terrified to go to war, had too much to lose and wanted to be selfish and stay home, than men like Steve who would do anything to enlist. Including lying on the damn enlistment form.

He wonders if Steve is looking at him now. Watching over him as he shares something that he never did with his best friend, with you, a girl he’s met barely a week ago, on your couch over bowls of pasta while he points out leftover sauce on the corner of your lip.

“What’s your greatest fear?” He asks you next.

“Dying alone. Actually, no. Getting kidnapped, probably.”

“Oh, mine’s spiders.” He shares.

It’s so easy to laugh with you, he finds. He jokes with Sam a lot, all the bickering and teasing all in good fun at the end of the day, and it’s mostly pretty funny. But laughing with you. He feels like a teenager again. Somehow, everything is funny; he doesn’t remember the last time he’s laughed so much, especially about things that aren’t even that funny.

It’s raining at the end of the night. Early morning, rather.

“You can take the couch, if you’d like.”

“Nah, I don't mind a little rain, and I like the ride home.” He fed Alpine before he left, but he imagines his cat misses him, even if she’s probably busy licking herself to even notice he’s left.

“Suit yourself.”

You don’t push him. A simple pleasure that’s more of a luxury for him. There’s no pushing or convincing or Are you sure’s with you.

Certainly a luxury, you are.

[sweetmotherof]

Haikyuu Fics: The Classics™️ (pt 2)

PART 1

I already thought of more, and I didn’t want my first part to be super long, so here is a part 2!! I’ll probably make another couple of parts because I know I missed some. So again, please comment if you have any recommendations for me to add, it’s highly appreciated. Also, just some housekeeping, please mind the tags and go give the authors some love and support!! I hope you guys enjoy!! (My summaries are super bad for this one so just look at the summaries for the work or ask ahah id be happy to elaborate)

*contains nsfw fics, so please read the tags*

⭑=my faves

TSUKKIYAMA

~quick deanpendragon spam (they are the mastermind of tsukkiyama fics read all of their stuff pls)~

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon

M, 74.4k words

This is the classiccccc slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn through high school fic. With an amazing plot, beautiful writing, and stunning characterization, if you like Tsukkiyama at all, you should literally just read it. It’s just....perfect.

the certain things we lack by deanpendragon⭑

M, 89.6k words

AHHHHHHHH STOP DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS. no no no it’s so good like should be published good. It’s Kei-centric, and him and Yamaguchi are so <333 ugh i can’t stop. High school au, canon compliant, getting together yeah yeah yeah but the writing is.....i’m speechless it’s so good. Something about it connected with my soul and the writing, i can’t stop the writing is so good. If you like to read, like you just appreciate the art of literature, read this read this read this. 

blue summer sky by deanpendragon⭑

T, 32k words

Deanpendragon, take all of my money. You deserve it after this one because, oh, oh MY GOD it’s so good. Yamaguchi working in a pet store. Tsukishima working in a music store. Right next to each other. STOP READ IT NOW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. It’s Yamaguchi’s POV and his like stream of thoughts is SO relatable oh my god. It’s too good. This is hands down one of my fave fics so,,,,, u should read it. Also, it’s a series so, thank you for that one.

~~~~

Stoplights by 5yenwish(iamacamera)

E, 48.6k words

Something about Tsukkiyama authors, I would literally ask the president to get you ppl published because JESUS we do not deserve these works for free. I mean, this is just Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Karasuno being VULGAR and hilarious, and it’s like,,,,you have to have a certain type of humor to enjoy this. If you don’t like sex jokes AVOID this fic, but I loved this SO MUCH. The writing, ughhhhhh the writing is horrifyingly good. I kinda just really want to pay this author money because you made my life smmm better. On Hiatus tho,, probs forever so <//3 STILL READ IT

MATSUHANA

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia⭑

E, 91.5k words, cw: EMOTIONAL ABUSE, mental health issues that come with that

SAD BOY HOURS ughhh. This fic is so angsty and hurt so bad to read,,,,,,but so,,,,goood. Of course it’s depressing, it’s Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi watching Matsukawa be in an emotionally abusive relationship, all the while Hanamaki is in love with him,,,, eyeroll it’s very hard to watch. But, the writing is amazing, the plot is painful but good, so if you’re considering, you definitely should read.

rated m for by orphan_account

T, 10.6k words

Voice acting au. The most beautiful voice acting au ever. I love Matsukawa and I love Hanamaki, and you should definitely read this because it’s so funny. The writing is so good, the plot is so funny, and I love to laugh my ass off and this fic is funny lol. They act in a BL even though they hate each other. PLS READ IT AHAHHAH.

plus one by orphan_account

G, 6.1k words

This is the cutest lil getting together fic that so adorably fluffy it hurts. If you want to come down from, oh let’s say boiled frogs ahahhaha plug (look above lol), this fic will literally rot your insides with how cute it is. It’s quick, easy, and a fun time at a wedding, so if you just want some matsuhana for bedtime or something like that (?? what am i saying lol) then I definitely recomeend this one.

DAISUGA

Open Tab by Mooifyourecows⭑

E, 541.5k words, cw: anxiety, breakdowns (not that bad, but some parts made me feel a bit on edge so I thought I’d let u all know)

The longest fic I’ve read, and worth every second. I BINGED this mf, like in a couple of days lol and it’s so good. Artist Suga, bartender Daichi, gay panic and basically all of the other main haikyuu characters lol,,,,, read it if that sounds interesting. I think this is probably the staple Haikyuu longfic, so you should definitely check it out at one point or another. Also, it’s SO funny and the writing is rlly good. Oh, and it’s a SLOW BURNNN.

bell, book, and candle by skittidyne

M, 762.9k words, cw: blood, swearing, violence, minor body horror, death, anxiety/anxiety attacks/panic attack (part of the author’s warning)

I’ve seen so many people recommend this one, so I thought I’d include it in this recommendation, even though it’s focused around a lot of the ships, not just daisuga. It’s a supernatural hunter fic, and even just the summary is super captivating and interesting. If you like fantasy, mythology, or anything of the demons and magic sort, you should definitely check this one out. There is also some ~~magical~~ romance.

Cardboard Castles by valiantarmor

M, 18k words, cw: homophobia, mental strain that comes with homelessness

For the sake of your guys’ brains, I included this shorter fic that you could definitely complete in a short amount of time. Basically, this is about coffee barista Daichi, and how he meets Suga, who is secretly homeless. And romance blooms, of course. I definitely recommend this one if you want a short, kind of angsty, but happy ending read.

KYOUHABA

Police Dog by surveycorpsjean⭑

E, 34.9k words

This fic is so so sooo good. I usually stray away from like shifter, werewolf type fics, but this one handles the trope so so so well. I love the kyouhaba dynamic and this fic exemplifies it without making it too cliche. The premise of the fic is Kyoutani is a dog shifter and Yahaba is a police officer. I really had a great time reading this and I definitely think that you should check it out ahhah.

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

T, 61.1k words, cw: HOMOPHOBIA LIKE BAD (not violent but very internalized and prevalent) 

Yahaba and his self-acceptance journey,,,,ughhhh im crying. This fic is vvvery emotional and filled with angsty self-hatred that makes me :(((. but BUT its worth it because watching him grow :’) and find love in Kyoutani. it’s very warm and happy at the end. If you want a CLASSIC coming of age set in high school and very gay so <33 pls check it out. The plot and writing are really well done and it is a work of art srsly.

[bookwyrminspiration]

god i rlly hope sophie yells at the council and black swan. also the fact that sophie had to leave her human family not once but twice just makes me so hnnngggghh. and they'll never see her graduate or throw her a sweet 16 or help her practice drive in empty park lots or walk her down the aisle...

this this this this this to be scolded and torn down. they created and subsequently ruined her life. all for their own goals. this was never about her, it was about what she could contribute to their cause. i know in canon she avoids thinking about it a lot and i think it might be because she'd genuinely lose her shit if she processed everything they've done to her. and the council deserve to be yelled at for not respecting her and for pining this rebellion on her shoulder when

I understand that Sophie was moved to the Lost Cities prematurely due to dangerous (fire and kidnapping) circumstances, but she'd still be taken away eventually. I'm curious what age they wanted to bring her back at, maybe as an adult and that's part of why they don't really know what to do with her or how to treat her; their plans got shifted years and years ahead in the span of a few days and they didn't adjust for it. it feels like they just winged it and it's not going well but they're in too deep to admit that now with their pride.

Like why did they think that was okay in the slightest? yeah we're gonna let her grow up her entire life isolated with people who aren't like her with no explanation as to why, and then to make matters worse we're going to take her away from all that and the few connections she does have and put her into our world so she can fix it.

all the human moments she missed out on, and they weren't even replaced with interesting elven ones, they were replaced with a world falling apart on her shoulders. she endured the education for system for years and was about to get the reward for it after like 7 years in the system as an isolated, weird kid no one liked!

but also do you even understand how much it hurts me that Sophie never got to learn how to drive? legitimately multiple times a week when I'm driving myself to school or to my partners house I just sit there behind the wheel and think about how Sophie never got there. she didn't have to go through the 50 hours of practice time with her parents, joking around a sharing music and sharing stories. because that's what would've happened for her. She's actually the age you start learning right now, 15. The autonomy that comes with driving is so unique, and she just never got that. and instead of being nervous about merging lanes on the highway she's scared someone she loves will be killed right in front of her.

and she never had a choice in any of it, not really.

the black swan deserve to be scolded and torn down. they created and subsequently ruined her life. all for their own goals. this was never about her, it was about what she could contribute to their cause. i know in canon she avoids thinking about it a lot and i think it might be because she'd geuinely lose her shit if she processed everything they've done to her. and the council deserve to be yelled at for not respecting her and for pining this rebellion on her shoulder when it wasn't her fucking choice.

she hasn't even properly grieved her old life, just thrown into this new one with everyone telling her that it's better! and that she shouldn't be sad because things are good here! ahhh I have so much rage when it comes to this subject

sophie deserved so much better than her life being made for someone else

[tpwkjerii]

as you wish | 4

your one true love was lost in a pirate accident five years ago, and now you’re engaged to a cruel prince. with all your misfortune, you didn’t expect three unconventional thugs and a painfully familiar pirate to save you from a dreadful future. (inspired by The Princess Bride)

pairing: pirate!seokjin x princess!reader

warnings: fluff and angst (!!), reader is forced into engagement and becoming a princess, mentions of death, murder threats, mentions of tourture, cursing, jin isn’t in this part much (but he will be in the next one!!), hobi is the best person ever, dungeon/imprisonment, not rlly proofread 🗿

genre: fairy tale/pirate au, semi established relationship au

word count: 4.2k+

a/n: second to last part oooo. sorry that this is late - exams suck :(( i hope you guys like this part!! pls leave comments/likes as they always help me improve <33

prev | next | m.list

The silence was deafening. For a while, once both sides saw each other, no one made an effort to move.

You froze by Jin’s side and gripped his arm so tightly you worried it would hurt him, but Jin paid no mind to it as he guarded you with his tall figure.

Donghae and his soldiers rested stone-faced atop their armored horses, their swords hanging idly from their waists or backs. In those few moments, the Prince had an indiscernible facial expression. His eyebrows and eyes were relaxed as if he was nonchalant about the entire situation, but his lips were pursed into a firm line that suggested otherwise.

Another testament to your unfortunate engagement: even after two years of being his “fiancee”, you had no idea how to truly read Donghae. He was terrifying in that sense — the constant unreadability of his face and deceiving tone his voice carried kept everyone around him, including you, on their toes. One word could set off the crown prince, and his power could unleash a fiery wrath that most people trembled at the thought of.

His intense gaze on you and the slight quirk in his brow when your lips quivered in fear signified that he was waiting for you to speak first. Ironically, this was the first time he had ever been so courteous as to let you talk first.

You swallowed harshly and gathered every ounce of will in you to step out from behind Seokjin’s protective body and instead guard him. Pushing his urgent hands, desperate to pull you behind him again, away, you straightened your stance. With a clear and steady voice, you said, “If you promise not to hurt Seokjin, I’ll go with you.”

Donghae smiled terrifyingly at you, ready to unleash the venom of his lips. “You speak and bargain like you have a choice to go with me or not.”

Your eyes met his sharp ones. “You may think that you have the upper hand, Donghae,” you paused, taking a fleeting glance back at Jin, “but I promise you that you will regret every day you spend walking on this planet if you hurt Seokjin.”

The crown prince scoffed and turned to face the soldier next to him. “My bride seems to care an awful lot about another man, doesn’t she?” He turned towards you as he spoke the last two words.

It was your turn to scoff in disbelief. You didn’t even think about the words as they escaped you. “Don’t act like there was ever love in this wretched communion.”

Donghae’s eyes darkened as he absorbed your words. He felt the gaze of his soldiers, who were watching the tense interaction, burning on him. “Fine. Seokjin,” Donghae spit the name bitterly, “leaves freely, and you come with me.”

In one swift move, he kicked the side of his horse, advanced towards you and Seokjin, and tugged you to the side of the tall horse.

“Y/N, no!” Jin cried, instantly drawing his sword. The surrounding soldiers did the same, and the harsh sound of the molded steel brushing against their metal sheaths unsettled you.

“Jin, stop!” Your feet move and your arm extends in an attempt to reach him, but you’re quickly wrenched back by Donghae. “Please!” you shout, your eyes meeting his in a panic as the soldiers circled him, their swords pointed right at him.

The look that you shared told several sentences at once; a connected gaze of pure desperation. You begged him silently, begged him to give up before you lost him and he lost you for good. With great sadness, he understood.

“As you wish,” he whispered, voice barely audible to you, and dropped his arm to his side, his sword swaying uselessly by his legs.

Your eyes teared up when he averted his gaze from you. You desperately wished to reach out to him, to comfort him by saying you could run away with him. But Donghae’s firm hold on you prevented you from doing either.

“Drop him off at the next town over; I don’t want to see him in the capital city.” Donghae’s command was sharp, and amidst your teary sadness you missed the sly glint in his eye as he ordered his soldiers.

You gasped when Donghae harshly tugged you up and behind him on top of the horse. Jin turned at the noise, and you exchanged one last melancholy gaze before Donghae kicked the horse and quickly trotted away. Tears escaped your eyes as Jin’s figure grew smaller and smaller. Only one thing comforted you in this solemn moment: Jin was safe — alive and safe.

“You’ve had an adventurous past few days haven’t you?” Donghae asked, his tone sharp and unforgiving. “Anything you wish to share?”

You kept your face away from him and remained silent.

“Does my bride not wish to speak to me?”

He laughed dryly at your quietness. “You’ll speak to me whether you like it or not come Friday.”

Your brows furrowed at his words. If you counted the days correctly, then today was currently Tuesday.  What did Donghae have planned that would make you talk to him within a few days?

He observed your confused facial expression before continuing, “My father passed away the night of your disappearance.” Your face dropped and you turned to face him. He scoffed and shook his head. “Don’t blame yourself, you weren’t of importance to him. He finally succumbed to his illness.”

Your face screwed together at his apathetic behavior.

“Which means, my coronation and our wedding have been advanced. We are to be wed on Friday.”

All color drained from your face and your mouth dried. The shock temporarily halted your ability to breathe, and you found yourself barely listening as Donghae went on.

“I expect perfect behavior from this moment on, understood?”

You looked away from him — another attempt to show your dismay. But it was no use as his hand instantly raised and roughly gripped your face as he turned your head to face him. “I asked, do you understand?” His voice was low and threatening, and you were sure that if he held onto your face any longer, it would leave a mark.

Your teary eyes quivered. “Yes,” you mustered out.

Your return to the castle was not a glamorous affair.

Donghae ordered the guards to escort you to your room and the maids to give you a bath and get rid of the “stench of another man”. You followed his words obediently, every inch of your body seeped in exhaustion and dejection. It wasn’t until after your hour-long bath and the maids finally left your suite when you were finally able to close your eyes and rest.

Unfortunately, your rest was short lived. A few moments after you laid down and just before you fully submitted to the god of sleep, a heavy knock rang in your room. You groaned and hoped that whoever it was would go away if you didn’t answer, but they only continued knocking.

With great reluctance, you pulled yourself out of bed and opened the heavy doors. Instantly, the disgruntled frown on your face was replaced with a shocked smile.

“Hobi!”

“Y/N!” he greeted back with comforting enthusiasm. Quickly, he pulled you into a hug, but the shock of seeing him again prevented you from immediately responding. “Are you not happy to see me?” he asked with a wary voice as he pulled away, frowning at your still body.

You shook your head. “No - no, I am! It’s just…” your voice trailed off as you inspected his face, which hadn’t changed at all even after two long years. “It’s been so long,” you finished softly.

“Too long; I’m sorry,” he replied gently, taking his hands into yours.

“Don’t apologize.” You smiled at him and gestured for him to enter your room and sit. “Why have you returned to the castle?” you asked once he sat down next to you at the edge of your bed.

“I’ve resumed my old post — well, my old post with a new duty of protecting you,” he answered simply, and the intense focus he had on keeping a straight face immediately told you that his response was a lie.

“You have? Why?” you challenged, crossing your arms.

“Boredom?” he replied weakly. You rolled your eyes at his dishonest response. You knew that Hobi, who was the only son of a powerful lord and had a loving partner at his lavish home, would not return to this castle as the Head Castle Guard out of boredom.

“No one in their right mind would return to this castle for fun.”

He sighed and grabbed your hands gently as he looked into your eyes. “I was worried about you, and it seems I had full reason to be.” You looked down with a flushed face as he continued, “When I first arrived yesterday morning, I was informed that you’d gone missing! At first I thought, good for you, because you were always miserable here, but then the stablekeeper insisted that you’d been taken — kidnapped!” His facial expression conveyed pure alarm, and you instantly felt guilty for worrying your friend, even if it wasn’t your fault.

Hobi’s face relaxed and he brought his arms tightly around you. “But it’s ok now. I’m glad you’re safe,” he whispered. You felt the vibrations of his words as your head rested against his chest, and the comforting feeling of his hands rubbing your back like a parent would to a child brought tears to your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he felt your upper body starting to shake. He quickly released you and held your shoulders to look at your face. “Have I upset you?”

“No, not at all,” you started, trying your best to gather yourself and wipe away your flowing tears. He waited patiently for you to continue, only whispering “it’s alright” and “take your time” when you choked on your words.

Finally, after a few minutes, you calmed down. And so, everything spilled out of your mouth. You easily confided in Hobi, who was your only friend when you first arrived at the castle and whose sudden departure after a few months left you even lonelier, and told him everything that had happened the past few days. You talked about the three thugs and how they took you, your reunion with Seokjin and how you almost escaped, and how you had to marry Donghae in just a few days.

Like a good friend, Hobi listened to everything you had to say. He didn’t judge or interject — just listened. And when you finished your long recount of your journey, he comforted you. With his comforting arms wrapped around yours, his soft hands wiping away your tears, and his encouraging murmurs, you finally felt alright for the first time since you’ve reentered the castle.

“I know you were kidnapped,” Hobi started with a humorous smile on his face, “but it seems like you’re more upset about returning.”

You laughed at the irony of the situation. “I was scared at first, but,” you paused, reflecting back to the eccentric thugs you met and your true love, “they — Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin — weren’t that bad. Honestly, I kinda miss them.” You paused again to take a deep breath, bracing yourself to say his name. “And Seokjin… I miss him terribly, but I’m just relieved that he’s safe… It might be wishful thinking, but maybe we can be together again one day.”

“Don’t lose hope, Y/N,” Hobi said reassuringly as he brought you into another tight hug. “You’ll get your happy ending.”

Much to your relief, Hobi was still at your side even as you awoke the next morning. He made sure to dismiss the other guards, who obediently listened to his order as his subordinates, and take your breakfast from the maids so you could have your much-needed space.

“Make sure to eat, you need to keep your energy up,” he scolded you when he noticed that you barely touched the fruits and pastries he piled onto your plate.

You sighed and shoved a strawberry in your mouth to appease him, mumbling as you chewed, “It’s too early and I’m too sad to have an appetite.”

He tutted. “You’re not skipping meals on my watch.”

“You’re too kind to me, Hobi,” you said after swallowing another bite of your toast.

“Only the best for my closest friend,” he responded with a shining smile.

After breakfast, you changed into a day dress and went on a walk around the castle grounds with Hobi. Your unexpected departure from your quarters (and the rare smile on your face) shocked the castle staff members. It was probably the first time you smiled since Hobi left the castle and his post.

Hobi had a miraculous way of brightening everything (and almost everyone) he touched. His infectious smile, heartwarming laugh, and gentle movements were once — and now again — the highlights of your day. Even now, as you coped with the loss of Seokjin and your upcoming marriage, he managed to put a smile on your face.

“Just my thought, but,” you started, a friendly smile on your face as you walked through the colorful gardens with your right arm looped around Hobi’s, “I’m sure that Yoongi would be more than happy to accept a proposal and marry you by now. It’s been, what, nearly three years now since you started courting him?”

The tips of Hobi’s ears burned red as he shook his head. “I still fear that he isn’t ready, and that if I ask too soon it will ruin what we have now,” he admitted honestly.

You sighed and gestured for him to stop walking. He listened, and you took your hands into his and looked up into his shining brown eyes. “Hobi, you are one of the best people I know. Anyone would be lucky to have you, and if you’re really worried about Yoongi not being ready, then talk to him. I haven’t met him, but he seems like he wouldn’t get upset if you ask.”

“He wouldn’t,” Hobi responded quickly, the speed of his words causing his face to flush red as you looked at him with a smirk. “You’re right,” he said after a few moments while resuming the walk.

The two of you continued your walk into noon, during which you ate a small lunch together, and the early evening. Within a few hours, your friendship was the talk of the castle staff. You tried to ignore the glances that a few servants gave you and the growing feeling of dread in your stomach when you returned to your suite and noticed that instead of your lady’s maids waiting outside, Donghae’s personal guard was.

You walked cautiously towards your open door and stiffened when you entered the room, immediately noticing Donghae sitting on the edge of your bed. This was the third time he’s ever entered your suite, and you didn’t anticipate it would be better than his previous visits.

Silently, you walked past him and sat down in front of your vanity. You remained quiet as you removed your jewelry, waiting for him to speak first.

“Why am I hearing whispers that my bride is in an adulterous relationship with her personal guard?” His voice was harsh, and you distracted yourself from flinching by picking up your tub of facial cream.

You eyed Donghae through your vanity mirror, carefully observing his scornful face. “Hobi? Don’t be ridiculous,” you quickly responded and placed your face cream down. Your heart beat faster as you saw Donghae advance towards you from the corner of your eye.

His hand gripped your shoulder firmly. “Ridiculous? I told you I expected perfect behavior. Prancing around with your guard is far from that.”

You turned to face him with a solemn expression. “Hobi is a friend — a friend. I don’t expect you to understand considering you have no idea what friendship even is.”

The prince’s lip curled into a snarl. “Shut up!” he shouted, the volume of his words causing you to flinch in your seat. Donghae turned away from you towards the guard at your door, commanding menacingly, “Get rid of him.”

Your heart dropped and you instantly stood, the heavy stool under you dragging loudly against the stone floor. “No! Don’t you dare!”

“And who are you to stop me?” he snarled.

Your hands balled up by your sides, and you couldn’t contain your anger as you responded, “You can do many things to me - you have done much to me - but I will not let you harm the one person in this castle who has truly tried to be my friend and did nothing but try to make me happy.”

Donghae laughed dryly. “Happy? Do you truly believe you deserve the right to be happy?”

You clenched your hands even tighter, feeling as if you were about to break your own skin, and your voice lowered to a threatening whisper. “If you even think about harming Hobi, I will end you myself, Donghae. I have nothing to lose.”

“You said the same thing about Seokjin,” Donghae replied with a smug smirk, his words causing your face to fall in confusion. “And I still beat you.”

“Wh-what?” you stuttered, a feeling of pure terror seeping through every inch of your body. You couldn’t forgive yourself if Jin was hurt — the mere thought alone brought warm tears to your eyes.

Donghae didn’t respond; instead, he turned back to his guard and pointed at you. “Take her to the dungeons, maybe a few days will knock sense into her ungrateful mind.”

“What have you done to Jin?” you cried, your voice shaky with desperation. You shouted as his guard grabbed your hands and harshly pulled them together behind your back. “Donghae, I’m talking to you!” you screamed at his retreating figure. “Shim Donghae!”

The cruel prince turned the corner and walked away, the sound of his heavy footsteps growing quieter as he walked down the hallway. You waited until the thump of his steps fully disappeared before turning to face the guard.

“I assume you’re not kind enough to let me go,” you mumbled weakly.

He remained stone-faced, and you sighed in mild disappointment. His expression morphed into confusion when you muttered a quiet apology, and his face twisted once your foot made harsh contact with his shin.

You took advantage of his distracted state and twisted your body so your knee could meet his crotch. He doubled over in pain, and you easily slipped out of his grip. Watching his sluggish movements carefully, you reached over for the empty vase on your vanity and, in one swift movement, knocked it over his head.

The guard’s body fell limply onto the ground, and you wasted no time in placing the cracked, bloodied vase back onto the table and running out of your room.

Your heart pounded loudly in your chest as you darted through the long halls and down the stairs. “Please, please, please,” you whispered repeatedly towards yourself as you pushed yourself to run faster.

Finally, after what felt like minutes of running, you reached the floor Hobi’s suite was on. You turned the corner towards his chambers, ignoring the ugly ripping sound your dress made as your feet stumbled, and desperately reached to push open his door.

“Hobi! Hobi! Hurry! You have to leave!” you announced between breathy pants as you staggered into his room.

“What?” He stood up immediately, alarmed by your urgency as you pulled him towards his window. Luckily, Hobi’s quarters was on the first floor and towards the front of the castle, allowing him a relatively easy escape if he moved fast enough.

“I - there’s no time to explain!” you cried, pulling his window open. “Don’t gather your belongings! You must leave now!”

“Why?” he asked, grabbing your frantic hands and holding them securely in an attempt to calm you down. But it was no use as you shook them off and continued to push him towards the window.

“Donghae’s out for you! He can’t harm you when you’re in your own home! Please go now!” you explained rapidly, praying that you wouldn’t hear the familiar sound of heavy feet running down the hall towards the room.

Hobi’s face fell. “If he’s out for me then he’s out for you,” he noted softly. In another non-life-threatening situation, you may have found his selflessness endearing, but right now, you wanted nothing more than for him to leave safely.

“Please… leave. I won’t let you get hurt.” Your voice was reduced to a quiet, frantic whisper. “You have a family.”

Hobi shook his head and squeezed your hand. “Go with me! I can protect you!”

The idea was tempting, but your thoughts immediately returned back to Donghae’s cryptic words about Seokjin, and you instantly knew that leaving with Hobi wouldn’t be the right option. “I can’t. There’s something I must confirm.”

Hobi’s face faltered, and you knew he wanted to argue more, but urgency began to flow through his veins when a distant shout rang through the castle. Both of you knew then that he was running out of time.

Hobi wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you reassuringly, whispering, “I’ll come back for you, please stay safe and don’t do anything stupid.”

“I promise,” you responded, but you both heard the uncertainty behind your words.

With that, he pulled back and gave you one last look, your teary eyes meeting his. You knew it was difficult for him to leave you at a time like this, but both of you understood that this was for the best.

Quickly, Hobi slipped out through the window, and you could barely see his dark shadow as he ran away from the castle and towards the open gates. You watched from the open window, and you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw him easily walk through the gates and towards the bustling town.

Only a few seconds later, the distinguishable sound of footsteps pounding against the floor rang from the hall. Closing your eyes to brace yourself, you sat underneath the window and waited for the guards to storm in.

Their steps grew louder, and you mentally counted down the time.

3...2...1

The door burst open, and you kept your eyes shut as the soldiers entered.

“Where is -”

“He’s gone,” you answered abruptly, your eyes still shut. “By now, Hobi will be safe at home with Lord Jung and Viscount Min.”

“Prince Donghae ordered us to-”

Your eyes flew open in anger. “I don’t care what Donghae has ordered you to do. Everyone knows that no one, even the royal family, can’t touch Lord Jung and his family.”

The front guard’s jaw clenched in anger, and you could see the frustration building in his eyes.

Despite the anxious nerves bubbling in your stomach, you continued to provoke the guard. “Isn’t it frustrating?” you asked with feigned innocence. “When things don’t turn out the way you want.” You laughed bitterly. “Did you really think I would just stand still?”

The guard walked towards you and aggressively pulled you up, not wasting any time to tie your hands behind your back. “You’re going to regret your foolish actions,” he muttered darkly as he harshly tugged you out of the room with him, the other guards following closely behind you.

You laughed emptily. “I regret nothing.”

“Enjoy your time rotting here, bitch.”

You whimpered as the guard roughly shoved your body into the dark dungeon cell. Stumbling to regain your footing since your hands were bound, you cursed as you heard the metal gate closed and locked behind you.

Once you were fully upright, you whirled around and walked to the steel bars, placing your hands on them before declaring, “I would like to speak with Donghae.”

The guard in front of you scoffed. “Prince Donghae is occupied this evening.”

“I don’t care,” you uttered. “Tell him I must see him now.” You slipped your arm through the bars in an attempt to grab him, but the guard spun around and moved out of the way before you could touch him. You grumbled as he started to walk away. “Don’t you dare walk away!” you screamed. “What have you done with Seokjin?”

The guard halted in his steps before turning back to face you with a menacing smirk. “Trust me, Princess, your lover is having anything but fun as we speak.”

At his words, you felt your heart drop and your head spin. A cold, suffocating sensation spread across your chest as your knees buckled underneath you. Hot, angry tears rolled down your face while you clutched your knees to your chest.

Your head throbbed as you thought of Jin and what they could be putting him through. Donghae’s torture tactics were not unbeknownst to you, and you often cringed in horror when you overheard him talking about them. It was one of the things about the Prince that truly made you question if he was really a human.

As you shut your eyes, you could see and hear Jin screaming in pain. Hurt and betrayal swam in his teary eyes — a stinging reminder that this was your fault. How could you have been so foolish to think that Donghae would really let Jin go freely?

“Oh, Jin,” you cried quietly with your head down. Your chest heaved as sobs started to wrack your body. “Please… please be ok,” you begged softly.

[despiteherself]

King Julien?

THIS IS SO LONG RIP

King Julien my beloved…….

Also sorry this took me so long omgggg

* favorite thing about them

everything <3

okay, so this comes as no surprise to literally anyone who’s heard me talk about kj but his big heart. i absolutely adore that so much of his story is about how his big heart fumbling around saves the day, even when the story is about his own hubris. Whether it was intentional or not ahkj ended up being a powerful story about a kind-hearted party animal with an inherited legacy of violence and mistreatment heal from his own trauma with the love for his people. yes! it was messy and it is a kids show so it had a lot of continuity issues and like…. toilet humour, but underneath it was so tender. kj’s story of wanting to be king for perks, to feeling like he didn’t deserve to be the one true king but managing to unite the entirety of the kingdoms Madagascar under his love as a symbol was so…….. kj’s big heart saves the day <3

even in the movies, where he is classist and bigheaded he still manages to do it? melman is brave because of kj’s empathy for a talking head, and the circus goes back to the Central Park zoo to help the zoosters bc of kj’s love. his line about “it doesn’t matter what you smell like, or what i smell like, it matters what we smell like together.” is what prompts everyone to forgive the lies.

* least favorite thing about them

nothing he’s perfect <3

I don’t know how to feel about season 5 after exiled. I know it must have been hard trying to tie everything up, going back to the joke based continuity and toilet humour after the emotional sucker punch of exiled. it just. feels like it rehashes old plots but makes them more complex and I think if it hadn’t been after exiled I wouldn’t feel so…. Unsure. kj in this, starts off desperately trying to prove himself as king (again) for good reason, but then seems to lose himself in petty ways he out grow and serious things reveled through jokes get left behind to make more jokes and it just feels…… kj grew into being a good leader and i wish it wasn’t forgotten again. This isn’t rlly about him, more the writing, and the plot problem - episodic vs long form story telling is a hard one, but it’s what I dislike. Let kj have growth bc he was given some and it’s hard to see it’s gone when we know it’s possible.

* favorite line

Oh this is hard :/

I like whenever he does his little pep talks. Or when he says he loves his kingdom. Those are fun & nonsensical and yet, an encapsulation of why he’s such a good ruler. he does understand his people, in a way the juliens before him didn’t, because he was never supposed to be one of them, and left to his own devices with his big sensitive heart made a connection that would outlast even the cruelest of julien kings. julien wants to be loved so badly, and he makes a mess of it, but he holds together the cracks of the lemurs before him, hurt by others the way he was and together they build something worthwhile.

“think of it as me sandwich, stuffed with me.

Pretty good right?” Bc that’s one of the funniest scenes

* brOTP

royal quartet <3

kj and literally everyone. i love him being friends and loving towards just about everyone

* OTP

hmmmmmmmmm

kj x his kingdom as a wholistic statement <3 i think married to his kingdom is what’s most satisfying for me. Kj who makes the specific choice to focus on his kingdom instead of personal goals - and despite loving children so much, making the specific choice to end the julien line (it’s reign of terror) with him. Ahhhhhhhh that would be so satisfying narratively.

also, not to bring this up again but i do think it would be beneficial to both their characters of like kj and ted had a idk passionate summer fling and are now each other’s wingmen post divorce. i say again but i barely think I’ve hinted at it so you know, whatever. i just think their dynamic is SO interesting, and the one scene in exiled where Ted saves everyone is just……. ah, perfect. I wish we got a deeper exploration of Ted & Dorothy, and Ted & his rejection by julien at lemur school & losing prom king & his obsessed with being needed/wanted.

I have no issues with any of the pairings that happened lmao, but obv most of them are exes and i think they’re fun that way. Karen, rob, crimson, karl probably, idk, i guess skipper? i don’t think they date bc skipper is homophobic <3

* nOTP

There’s just way too much family symbolism & literally having clover and Maurice ACTUALLY taking his parents place for me to be anything but squicked by kj/either of them/both of them. no shade to anyone who does, but it just makes me feel :////// I also just love their dynamic as friends, and whilst exploring toxicity in relationships can be interesting, i rlly think that if the three of them became more dependent on each other it would just stunt them all. they do better as a unit in relation to everyone in the kingdom.

I didn’t include mort in the family part even tho he pretends to be kj’s son once but he’s included in that. people who say royal trio over royal quartet break my heart, mort is equally important in this dynamic and also. notp thanks

aslo don’t care for pancho :/ sorry pancho lovers <3 it’s just i don’t think he’s half as important as anyone makes him out to be and i don’t think he and kj rlly have that much chemistry, especially not compared to like his interactions with pretty much every single adult lemur. it’s whatever! ppl have fun with it, i just personally don’t see why you’d pick it over literally any of the other side but main-ish characters. i actually think, if anything, kj is more dismissive towards pancho than a lot of characters, especially considering he’s so flirty. and no amount of the Manchurian candidate can make up for that, especially when it was about family again.

ok now that I’ve alienated like 98% of the ahkj fandom it’s okay it’s not like super notp it’s just i don’t care for it <3

* random headcanon

kj starts watching todd’s unboxing videos one day when he’s relaxing, after he’s calmed down about the captain booty butt toy being stolen, like 3am channel surfing and like gets rlly into the concept bc like surprise toys out of box is peak adhd excitement. he wants to start his own channel and in his excitement gets everyone to watch his stuff which doesn’t have the care or knowledge (bc the excitement for kj is the surprise - can relate) that Todd’s has and Todd’s show gets canceled. he’s obv pretty sad bc that was Todd’s only hobby outside of doing what his mum makes him do & he gets rlly upset. eventually, somehow, kj stumbles upon Todd being sad and they have a convo and kj realises that he stole Todd’s hobby & that actually, the hovering, full attention of Tammy is suffocating and not something kj should long for. I rlly want Todd & kj to have an end to their “rivalry”. They make up, kj retires his unboxing channel and promos Todd’s, Todd gets to hang out in the plane as a friend to get away from his family for a while, kj learns the value of space.

* unpopular opinion

again… are there unpopular kj opinions???

i just think he should have had the proper number of rings on his tail. when i look at it I’m like, sir please give him the correct number it hurts me to see like 7 of each colour and i think it ends in a white tip which >:/ which is a silly thing to find annoying

[weasleymalfoypotter]

i hate you (but not really) pt2

draco malfoy x fem!slytherin! potter reader

part 1 here

summary: draco malfoy and harry potters twin sister have hated each other since they met. but in 5th year he comes to find that maybe he doesn’t hate her and the reasons he did end up be the things he loves

word count: 1.2k

warnings: kind of angst? kind of fluff? nothing rlly tbh

A/N: this is the second part in a series, the first one is the first ever fanfic i’ve written. i haven’t got any notes yet but im still gonna post because i’m committed:)

the interaction with draco slipped our minds during the long journey to hogwarts for the school year. harry and i were bummed. excited to be back home and in the wizarding world rather than at the dursley’s, but we still were sad that we don’t get to see sirius as much. we can’t even really send letters for fear of him being caught.

i had to sit with the slytherin table during the sorting due to being a prefect which was absolutely dreadful. not the prefect part but the slytherin part. the reason that harry was upset with me during first year for being sorted into slytherin made more sense the more i had to be around them. the qualities of being a slytherin weren’t annoying, evil, and down right horrible but the majority of the others sure did give us that reputation. the memory of our conversation with draco popped back into my head since i had to sit with him to help welcome the new slytherins . i sat down and he looked at me sideways but not with disdain like he usually did.

“you alright there princess?” i pretty much choked on air. what the hell did he just say to me?

“what?” i turned to look at him so i could fully see his face and maybe read his expression to figure out what he meant. i’m usually good at reading him but this was a look i have never seen him with before. what was he getting at?

“i just asked if you were alright” he said with a chuckle and a smile.

“no i mean the princess part” he stopped laughing but was still smirking.

“what about it?” that stupid smirk.

“don’t call me that”

“awww why? it suits you well” i- wha-? merlin even my thoughts are stuttering. i have no idea who this is but it isn’t draco malfoy. before i could respond dumbledore starting to speak and we both turned to face him. all i could think about the entire time was what the hell draco was doing. this had to be some new tactic to get under my skin. well points to draco because it’s working

-

after getting the new slytherins settled i spent the rest of the day with harry, hermione, and ron. i didn’t say anything about what draco said because there was nothing to say. he was just teasing as usual...right? i don’t know but there’s nothing they could do about it anyway.

that night i didn’t go to sleep. i hated sleep. i would always get nightmares and the ones that i’ve had since june are too painful. so now i just avoid sleep like the plague. in june when harry was competing in the last task for the triwizard tournament i got a terrible feeling. my whole body was like harry’s scar in the way that we could sense voldemort, but my senses were a lot stronger. the slightest connection to the dark lord had a physical effect on me. when harry got to the cup with cedric in the maze i was in pain, not excruciating but enough to make me worry like hell, and not just for harry. cedric was my best friend. we got close during my 2nd year. it was an unlikely friendship considering the age difference and the house rivalry but he was my best friend. so when i got that feeling during the third task, i was worried for the both of them. it got worse and i could tell that voldemort was close to harry. i kept searching for his mind trying to see if he would take of his ring and he did. right as i got into his head to see what was happening, cedric died. i watched it happen. and every night when i went to sleep i saw it. over and over and over again. i was powerless, unable to save him, watching from harry’s mind. so like i said, i don’t sleep... until i can’t hold it off anymore.

i went to the common room and sat on a couch reading for hours. it had to have been at least 2:00 in the morning so i definitely didn’t expect to hear footsteps coming from the boys dorms. my head lifted from my book and i saw draco. honestly i’m too tired for this. i didn’t say anything and i dropped my head back to my book. he just stood there. he didn’t move. he didn’t speak. he just stood there staring. i could literally feel his smirk on me. and then he drew a breath and before i could mentally prepare myself, he spoke.

“you know you really should get to sleep, it’s late”

“i’m not tired, and you’re up too so what’s your point” i never picked up my head. i kept my eyes on the page in front of me even though i wasn’t retaining any of the words...only the ones coming from the platinum blonde. he started walking towards me, i still kept my eyes on the page. that is until the page disappeared as the book was being taken from my hands and the boy sat down on the spot on the couch next to where my legs were propped up. my head shot up and my eyes narrowed.

“hey!! what are you doing?” i seethed at the loss of the weight of the book in my hands. he set it down on the end table next to him.

“ummm i’m sitting down?” i let out a sigh before i responded

“i mean, there is no one else down here and there are plenty of other seats. what are you doing sitting here.” i said while pointing at the couch scowling “also give me my book back” he just did that stupid smirk, laugh, hand through hair thing that he did on the train. it made my stomach feel weird. i don’t know why but it did.

“well you see princess, the other seats aren’t this close to the pretty girl in the room” i completely ignored my need for the book as i blinked. i don’t think i physically could do anything but blink.

“i think you just had a stroke.” there was no other explanation. his face was bright as he laughed and but his lip slightly.

“and why do you think that” because this is absolutely insane. because you are absolutely insane.

“you just called me princess for the second time today AND you said pretty. you called me pretty. you had a stroke. that’s the only explanation.” HE SMIRKED. AGAIN. HAND THROUGH THE HAIR. AGAIN. he’s driving me insane.

“maybe the explanation is that i think you’re pretty” that’s laughable. that’s funny.

“you know what? i’m going to bed” his eyes. oh merlin his eyes are doing something weird. i stood up to leave and as i was passing him he grabbed my wrist. i’m nothing but confused. he looked up at me and said

“i thought you weren’t tired” he’s still smirking. i pulled my wrist out of his grasp and started to walk towards the dorms. right as i pulled my wrist away i spoke

“goodnight draco” i took a few steps before i heard his voice behind me

“you know, you’re the only one that calls me that” i looked back at him with raised eyebrows. i’m the only one that called him by his name? he read my expression easily and said “everyone usually just calls me malfoy. you always call me draco.” smiling. he was smiling. not smirking. not mocking. he was smiling at this. i blinked at him and walked to my dorm. was i actually going to sleep? no. but at least i had something to think about.

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@idkmanicantenglish

[chaosmacaron]

Long ass rant/trauma dumping I cried like twice writing this I meant to just write about something that was on my mind recently but it turned to a recap of my entire life

I wish I knew how to find people I relate to irl because all my friends are cis straight and white and like I love them they’re rlly nice but I don’t relate to them at all I always feel like the only thing I can do in a conversation with them is smile and nod especially because like half of them are in their Harry Potter twilight teen dystopian book/movie era. I tried getting into Harry Potter so I had something to talk to them about but I just couldn’t, I already wore it out when I was 12 and especially with all the ick I know about jk rowling now I just don’t rlly enjoy it as much. And w twilight I just can’t because back in like 2014 I was on the side of tumblr who criticized/made fun of twilight like it’s in my dna now not to be able to enjoy it lmaoo.

I’m not trynna make fun of them or anything I just feel the things they enjoy now I enjoyed when I was like 11-12 probably because I was on the internet far too early. Also they’re all on straight tik tok. Im still traumatized from having to pretend to simp over rando guys thirst traps😭 like I do all that for them but they can’t even pretend to not think I’m weird for liking anime/bts. I don’t even dare to bring up video games

I guess this comes with living in a predominantly white area but sometimes they just be saying/doing some racially ignorant things and I don’t feel like saying anything because I’m usually the only poc in the room. (This is a goofier one but one time this girl was singing a song with the n-word in it originally and she made a point to tell me that she would never say it like girl i hope not do u want a sticker or sum lmaooo)

Anyway I legit don’t know any black people my age and it feels so isolating like even when I was in elementary school I remember always being aware that I was always the only black/brown girl in my class sometimes the only one period. I felt so different. When I was like 10-11 I was obsessed with staying out of the sun and looking up ways to lighten my skin. I would feel so ugly after a beach/pool day because of my tan I would exfoliate so vigorously to try and get rid of my melanin. One time I went to Disney world and I tried so hard to keep reapplying sunscreen and stay in the shade. I was happy when I didn’t get too tan it was just a mess of internalized colorism in my preteen years

I didn’t think this would be emotional to write but I’m lowkey tearing up

Anyways a separate but related thing that bothers me I can barely connect with most of my cultures with my parents. My mom is Afro-latina and I feel pretty in touch with my Mexican side because we see that part of my family the most and my abuela lives with us but we RARELY see my African American side of my family and my mom isn’t rlly in touch with her African American culture so by extension neither am I and that makes me kinda sad.

My dad is mixed jamaican and Chinese. I rarely see his side of the family period and my grandpa is 1st gen immigrant from china so I know non of his family which is a bit of a bummer because I’d love to know about the culture. The only Chinese culture my dad has is his ability to use chopsticks and he used to watch a lot of old kung fu movies but in dubs that had highkey racist accents. He’s more in touch w his Jamaican side as he’s a first gen immigrant from there but I can tell he’s become quite Americanized since I was younger especially since 2016 when he got into politics. Oh lord it’s been so downhill since then and the hill got steeper in 2020 when he discovered his conservative podcast. He literally listens to them everyday and I have to listen to homophobia/transphobia/non-poc giving their ignorant 2 cents on poc issues every damn day and my dad eats that shit up. He doesn’t even listen to his Jamaican music in the car no more it’s literally just those stupid ass podcast. And that’s all he talks about too he could go on and on forever about his bigotry and his guns. Oh lord don’t get him started on his guns he literally spent like 45 minutes talking to this random old guy about guns in bass pro shop. Even my uncle who posts his rifles on Facebook got tired of him lmaooo. I love him because he’s my dad but I would literally not associate with him if he wasn’t. Same goes for my mom and all of my parents friends. They think transphobia and shit is the funniest thing. They talk about it so casually like do y’all even have any other hobbies or music or media u could talk about why do u feel so fulfilled being hateful I thought u were Christian🤨

Also my mom says ching chong and pulls back her eyes and shit as jokes and my dad thinks it’s funny like ma’am ur husband is half Chinese and sir YOU are half Chinese have some dignity. That shi makes me mad. One time my mom called my eyes ch!nky and thankfully I had recently seen a video of an asian women calling out somebody for saying that so I was able to know that it was a whole ass slur because I had never heard that word before. And my mom was like “oh but I guess that’s a bad word now” like bish it was always a slur racism against Asians is just so normalized in whatever environment u were raised in. And one time at universal an asian looking dude was telling us the rules and shit and not even a second after that man left us my mom was like “ni-hao😜” I was so embarrassed and she thinks that shits hilarious and so does my dad. Weak ass links I say they’re literally casually racist to their own races. And they dismiss me when I try to say something. Hate it here. Also they think they can talk on Native American issues like how u gonna say a football team being named a slur or a tribe name being used for a car is good representation like stay out of their business shut up and listen to them. And they say their land wasn’t stolen and they shouldn’t be angry anymore I’m not even gonna get into that that just makes so fucking mad

I’m digressing but I feel so strongly about this they’ve even turned my sweet little brother into a whole homophobe. We were watching Eternals and when the husbands kissed my brother was like “really🙄” like boy what happened to u I don’t even like u no mo.

If I ever get into a relationship with a woman/nonbinary person or even a feminine guy it’ll over I’m gonna have to ghost everyone because I will be shamed and shunned to no end by my entire family. Maybe my sister will be accepting but she’s like a lowkey cringy type of ally so I might not even tell her💀💀 but yeah the thought of being disowned haunts me everyday. Imma have to be hella financially stable and live far far away if I ever want to come out to them. When I was 11 I discovered what being transgender was and related so much. I was obsessed with watch the same 3 trans documentaries everyday after school and it made me so happy to see all these people be accepted and loved by their family. I was so naive to think my family would be as accepting. I daydreamed about taking t one day and getting a binder. But nah my dad was straight up like ur going to hell lol. And for two years I was treated differently and sometimes bullied by my family until I eventually was bullied into being cis again (or so I thought😏 the pandemic made me realize some things about myself that I had repressed) but yeah I was too young and naive back then I was coming out to like everybody because I hadn’t experienced homophobia yet I didn’t now how dangerous it could’ve been. When I cut my hair by myself my dad told me that he would’ve punched me if I was a real boy. And one time I showed him a redraw I did of something I made when I was younger thinking he’d be impressed by how much my drawing has improved but he told me he liked the old one better because he liked who I was better back then (That was a deeply buried memory I’m am tearing up now I was fucking 11- 12 why would you say such things you fucking asshole that was so traumatic.) Thankfully my teacher at the time was a real one and so were my friends even tho they didn’t rlly understand.

Anyways yeah my family are the only people of my race that I know and they’re literally insufferable half the time. I wish I had some poc and lgbt+ friends irl but I don’t know how to find them I feel like I’m surrounded by white christians and I have no car or money or driver’s license to go to a con or smth idk to meet more diverse people. I see all these cool friend groups on tik tok and I just feel so envious. Like how does one find such cool friends. My mom is quitting her job soon through so I’ll have a ride to a job and I’ll be able to start saving my own money. If the economy is willing maybe one day soon I’ll be able to get my own car so that I can start living a life of my own and do what makes me happy and meet people like me.

[dylanhawth]

[ LORENZO ZURZOLO, CISMAN, HE/HIM ] shh ! DYLAN HAWTHORNE, the TWENTY year old SECOND year ANTHROPOLOGY major from HARTFORD, CT is known as a TOURMALINE  around here. HE was invited to join because HE PUBLISHED A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES ANONYMOUSLY THAT GARNERED A BIT OF FOLLOWING AND RECENTLY STEPPED FORWARD AS THE AUTHOR, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of THE NERVOUSNESS OF A FIRST KISS, LEAVING SECRET MESSAGES IN LIBRARY BOOKS, DRIVING AIMLESSLY WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN ON A WARM SUMMER NIGHT WHILE THE RADIO HUMS A PLAYLIST CURATED FOR YOU BY YOUR BEST FRIEND.

[ big ass bio ] | [ connections ] | [ pinterest ] | [ playlist ] 

ooc. 

omfg hello. i can’t tell you how excited and happy i am to be here. i was too nervous to apply for the last three months but i decided to stop being a Coward and just try. im SO happy to be here, it’s the highlight of my week tbh lmao. anyway i am mar, she/her, 24, est. i live in nyc and all i do is visit the planetarium and cry. i’m so fucking bad at these so im just gonna LIST things and hope you get the vibe. i am a pisces sun, scorpio moon. i prob have a napoleon complex a little bit lmao. my favorite social media site is goodreads and i get rlly sad when my friends rate books i love poorly dfljskdfs. i can touch my tongue to my nose. i eat a lot of persimmons. i have a favorite rock at my local park that i visit a lot. idk dfskjls. i’m v friendly tho so pls hmu. i send a lot of memes, and love making meme edits for the chars so im rlly sorry in advance if you guys hate that. 

01.      basics.

NAME.   dylan h. hawthorne. ALIASES. dyl, hawth.   AGE.  twenty. HOMETOWN. hartford, ct. GENDER.  cismale. PRONOUNS.   he/him.

 02.      appearance.

EYES.   green. HAIR.   brown. HEIGHT.   6”0 BUILD.   lean. BIRTHMARKS   /   BURNS   /   SCARS.   a birthmark the shape of australia on his left thigh. TATTOOS.   n/a. PIERCINGS.   n/a.

03.      habits.

ALCOHOL   ?  socially. SMOKING   ?  socially. HABITS.  fidgets in chairs. cracks knuckles and back often. nervous laughter. chewing on pencils. talking to his plants. dogearing books. staring off into space and applying chapstick for a prolonged period of time. getting overly competitive about boardgames. stress cleaning. carries a book in his bag always. night owl. incredibly impatient when the internet is slow. creature of habit when it comes to menus, orders the same shit over and over again. LIKES.   feeding the ducks at the local pond. the smell of the earth after a rainstorm. the way music sounds coming from another room. kissing. watering his plants. inside jokes. making wishes in fountains. discussing a recently finished book with someone. making handmade cards for friends on their birthday. fireworks. coming of age films. packages wrapped in twine. jogs. the way friday nights feels when you’re with someone you love. the feeling you get leaving the movie theatre. DISLIKES.   being late. having too many coins on him. coffee with no sugar. when people speak loudly in the library. doing laundry. handshakes with too much squeeze. receiving voicemails. untidiness. golf. charles dickens. lectures with no student input. hot weather. confrontation. being caught in a lie. losing his umbrella. people who cheat during games. rainboots. bad table manners. humidity.

04.      personality.

MYERS-BRIGGS.   infp. ENNEAGRAM. the helper. ZODIAC.   pisces. TEMPERAMENT.   melancholic. ALIGNMENT.   neutral good. ARCHETYPE.   the lover. POSITIVE.   empathetic. sensitive. intelligent. charismatic. easygoing. gentle. loyal. passionate. romantic. humble. supportive. gregarious. playful. diligent. NEGATIVE.   deceitful. gullible. finicky. naive. obsessive. perfectionistic. secretive. timid. possessive. weak-willed. indecisive. cynical. indulgent. summary: basically, dylan is a love starved, people pleasing nervous wreck. big ass nerd who wants to be everyones friend, wants to be liked SO BAD. very charming and charismatic, comes off as fairly confident and comfortable at first. is able to make everyone feel loved and like they’re the most important person in the world, however lacks a backbone. is both romeo and juliet, and just as dumb as both of them too. 

05.      hc’s.

dylan was a football player in high school, believe it or not. he was rather good at it too, which is sort of jarring considering his pacifistic nature. however, he DID land on someone incorrectly at some point during his senior year, and broke their wrist. he quickly abandoned the sport altogether because of how guilty he felt. 

touched on this briefly but dylan really… loves indiana jones lmao. like, it’s quite ironic given his absolutely inability to be a badass, and lack of suaveness. however, he admires indy’s lust for adventure. he also was obsessed with the mummy as a kid. both of these were incredible sources in his very irrational decision to sudden anthropology. however, he does really love and admire anthropology. his favorite ethnography is the spirit catches you and you fall down, which makes him cry like a little bitch every time he even thinks about it. 

he’s the second oldest, but he is also baby. he is SUCH a big momma’s boy. he misses his mom so much. he writes to her often, and of course calls her even more. despite being six-foot tall, he still goes home and rests his head on his mother's lap, falls asleep as she runs her fingers through his hair. he often tries to find native english plants and flowers to press, and mail back to his mother in the form of bookmarks. has nEVER STEPPED ON A CRACK IN HIS LIFE, BABY.

just leaves a shit ton of notes in books in the library. some are riddles, some are poetry, some are commentary on the book, some are doodles. just depends on how he’s feeling for that book. he doesn’t tell anyone he does it, but he’s waiting for someone to connect the dots with his handwriting and writing style. 

speaking of plants, his room is basically a big greenhouse. he has so many plants, and takes serious care of them all. he has a little humidifier in his space for them, marks down when he waters what plants, and has a label maker to label them all with a name. they are all named after shakespeare characters. 

dyl is a doodler, so much so that he contributes to the school paper as a cartoonist. his cartoons are usually just random thoughts he has, but sometimes they get political and he works marxism into them. (this man loves marx.) 

[ suicide implied tw, death mention tw ] he dresses like a victorian boy in love with his roommate who has recently died of scarlet fever and in his mourning, plans to disappear in the bog by the school by mysterious circumstances and become a ghost that haunts the college with his lover. like lots of gray and slacks and ties ands ties and sweaters, lol. also he has glasses that he never wears because he can never find them! catch him squinting in your classroom because he can’t see SHIT. too shy to ask you for your notes though, doesn’t wanna inconvenience you! but when he’s Out on the Town®, he fucking wears like, tacky patterned shirts that are expensive but ugly. someone please help him. 

all about fun socks! he loves owning socks that have dumb little images on them. if you get him a pair of fun socks, he’d absolutely go nuts. his entire week: made. 

he leaves his roommate limericks when he senses they are sad. tapes em to the bathroom mirror or leaves them in the fridge. also loves buying people presents. tiny ones. like haunted looking things from second hand stores, or your favorite chocolate. also is the sort of friend that has EVERYTHING in his bag, in case someone cuts themselves or has a headache. can be a bit of a mom himself. it’s the little things, y’know? 

prob still in his emo phase. listens to way too mcr to not be lmao.

eco-friendly king, will not stand for you not recycling. 

if you will allow him, he will attempt to have a secret handshake with you. he’s a child. is dying for someone to memorize the parent trap handshake and indulge him. 

cannot sit still in a chair. fidgets an excessive amount, the bobbing of his knee and the squirming around. it just never ends. 

bi. that’s the hc.

he’s a little bit in love with everyone he meets if you couldn’t tell, and it’s fucking disastrous. 

he is based loosely off: patroclus ( the song of achilles ), ponyboy curtis ( the outsiders ), laurie laurence ( little women ), eduardo saverin ( the social network ), remus lupin ( hp ), oliver marks ( if we were villains. ) 

( @opalsmedia​ )