#it made me feel this way even before i figured out i was nonhuman.

[poplarbark]

this image givbes me so much euphoria. i don t know where it comes from or what the original is but its one of my favourite images

[opiopal]

just realized I haven't posted in a hot second, so i figured I'd share this thought I've had for like, weeks,

has anyone else noticed the similarities wth obey me and steven universe? or am I just too crazy about both of them, cause just listen to me

Mc and steven are the results of someone inhuman they are related to wanting to mingle with humanity and ended up starting a family with a guy they were willing to throw everything away for, after that they end up dealing with the still grieving family that can't help but bring up lilith/rose at times, whether in comparison or just reminiscing. talking abt how amazing lilith/rose was. as everything goes on steven/mc slowly burn out and looses the parts of themselves that made them so loved,(not mentioned in game ofc but theres no way you can ignore how much meaner mc gets over time.) not to mention how many times other people have attempted to KILL mc/steven in their own grief, and with pretty much one success(I am counting white diamond here cause girl basically ripped stevens heart out.) and also the fact that they always find themselves in magical bs BECAUSE of their family, and the two have also indirectly talked with lilith\rose,(mc getting visions, steven in roses room) AND they were both saved from death by their mom\greatx1000 grandma,(mc dying, steven fusing with his gem) and despite the fact that these people have been together for THOUSANDS of years before steven/mc came along and they haven't even considered talking out their feelings in a calm setting instead of letting emotions sizzle out and explode, Ik some ppl may get annoyed with this post so I wanna clarify that I am NOT comparing the two nor am I saying that they are super allike, this is just me thinking it's silly that two of my favorite media's have a few things in common,

edit: I NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A MASSIVE NONHUMAN WAR ABOUT HUMANS/A HUMAN THAT KILLED THE VERY PERSON EVERYONE LOVED

[vulpecular-draconic]

so… i think i finally consciously figured out something.

this lull that i’m experiencing, that i’ve mentioned in previous posts? i know where it began. or, the two things that i think began it. i don’t remember which order they happened in? so i’ll just describe them.

incident one: i tried to talk about alterhumanity with my mom and sister. not just in vague, this-is-a-thing way — they already knew it existed and thought it was weird — but i tried to explain phantom limbs to them. i asked them if they experienced phantom limbs, and kinda told them about mine. which was a mistake. they didn’t make fun of me exactly, but my sister gave me weird looks (and thought i was confusing it for imagination, which i didn’t have the energy to correct at that point), and my mom just said she thought i had a strong imagination (in a less-frustrating way than my sister). but i left the whole interaction feeling VERY much like i’d shared too much of myself. i still feel that way about it. i noticed afterwards that it was harder to feel connected to my ‘types.

incident two: i filled out an alterhuman survey. i’m not sure why, but something about one of the questions — or rather, something in the way i answered it — left me feeling… empty, in regards to alterhumanity? i closed the app and got up from my chair suddenly feeling like i’d broken something. i don’t really know why it made me feel that way. the question had been asking about how much i viewed myself as human. my answer was that i felt like “human” was more of a job title, a purpose, than something i was. it was the first time i’d contextualized it that way — outside of my head, at least? — and… idk. but everything felt Different after that. 

these both happened around the beginning of 2024, i think. for a few weeks afterwards, i clung on to posting about alterhuman stuff, trying to get that feeling back. eventually though, i accepted the lull and stopped trying to wring connection to myself out of tumblr.

i didn’t fully accept the reasons for the lull, though. it’s true that i’ve had natural lulls before even knowing i was alterhuman, but i pretended that was all it was.

since the lull began there’s been a few spotty days where my connection feels stronger, but hardly ever to the strength i felt it before, and hardly for longer than a day or two.

what really worries me is that the only kintype i feel consistently connected to now is being a pearl fox (and avian-humanoid, but that’s less of a species and more just limbs that almost always feel comfortable to me. and dragons, which feel more like otherheartedness, but i always get shifty about those whenever i interact with dragon content). but even being a pearl fox feels more distant than it did. all my types felt very real as i was feeling them, but i worry that they won’t come back. what if they were hyperfixation-induced identities, and now that the hyperfixation has abated, i’ll never feel like them again? 

because i am a psychological alterhuman. i’m at the whims of my own subconscious. i think i definitely was everything i said i was back then at the time i said it, but i don’t feel like i am anymore, not in the same way. i tried, but i can’t force it to come back. i’m still not quite sure why it left.

to be honest, the only thing that’s keeping me from completely doubting if i’m alterhuman at all is remembering how i found out i was alterhuman in the first place.

i acted nonhuman (specifically, cat-like) since i was eight, until i was shamed out of it.

i constantly pictured myself as a dragon and had dragon phantom limbs around the ages of eleven-thirteenish.

right before finding out about alterhumanity in 2023, i realized i was placing an unusual amount of weight on the question “what is your favorite animal.” my answer had been cats as long as i could remember, but that had become increasingly uncomfortable to say in recent years (dysphoric, in hindsight). i felt that my favorite animal had to encapsulate my personality, and for some reason, cats no longer did. i realized i was drawn more to foxes the same week i learned about alterhumanity. 

i kind of wish i had learned about alterhumanity a bit later than i did. a couple months later maybe, that would’ve been ideal. give myself more time to learn about foxes and i connect to them on my own, without getting it tangled up in preconceptions, yknow?

because red foxes? the species that pearl foxes are a color morph of? i initially discarded them too quickly, because i didn’t feel connected to the classic red fox color morph. so i went searching for a whole different fox species, and found bat-eared foxes. it’s hard to describe in with words, but think that made everything a lot messier in the months afterward.

i’ve always had a fascination and connection with dragons, which hasn’t faded in the same way my connection with cats did, but i’m wondering if i was too eager to call it a kintype. i’m definitely at least dragonhearted, that’s for sure. i’ve definitely been a dragon before. i think i’ve been all the kintypes i list in my intro post, but i don’t know if that being was something that was ever meant to last.

i’m thinking about the list of animals i wrote down before discovering alterhumanity, when i was trying to figure out which creature was my favorite. i think i want to go back to before i found out about bat-eared foxes, and i want to start from scratch. make absolutely sure i’m not tying myself to an exceptionally long, hyperfixation-induced cameo shift. they have all been very important to me, and still are in many ways, and i’ve been scared that admitting to myself that things might have Changed and that it would mean they could never be important to me again. but that’s silly. they can be important again if that happens to happen.

i’ve only been awakened for what, a little over year now? compared to so many other alterhumans, i’m just a kit. i’ve barely started my journey with nonhumanity.

so i’m tentatively starting with a new status quo; i am a pearl fox.

i think i’m comfortable saying that, but i need to parse what exactly that means to me. i’m less so a pearl fox in a real-world all-fours fox kinda way (though it feels like that some rare occasions). i’m more so a fox in fable-trickster-figure kinda way, creative and clever and skulking around. (i think that may be where my fae/changeling kintype came from — it melds with my pearl fox ‘type in a way that may mean it’s not entirely its own thing. i don’t feel comfortable calling myself a fae anymore, not in a literal way. changeling i still have to think about.) sometimes i feel more like a pearl fox in a grungy way; less whimsical, more grounded, listening to rough music and wanting more from life. sometimes being a pearl fox feels more like a metaphor: a metaphor for how various parts of my identity has been dehumanized, and a channel to express the parts of me that snuck around to stay safe.

but it always, in some way, feels like me. it feels like it fits my pre-awakening criteria for a favorite animal: an animal that can encompass my personality completely.

i should probably make a new intro post with this info soon, but i’m not quite sure how to explain it in that format yet. but i’m happier now that i’ve figured this out. all my other kintypes, and even my hearttype and hearthome, i want to put away for now. not necessarily abandon forever; if the connection is still there in some form, they’ll come back. but i want to make sure i’m not forcing myself to make them stick around.

so yeah, reintroduction, i guess! i’m vuldra, i’m a pearl fox, and i don’t know if that’s ‘heartedness or ‘kinity or both in fluctuation.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Beyond Identify-As

It is a known, observable fact how much the alterhuman community focuses on identify-as identities. Even more so, largely nonhumanity gets the spotlight. It is a frustrating thing for human adjacent or humanoids folks, and even more frustrating for those with non-identify-as identities. Even heartedness is talk about as an afterthought.

The circles I frequent in doesn't have as big of an issue. Or perhaps I myself don't see it right away due to me constantly hopping between spaces. I think partly is due to that very need to have more than nonhuman identify-as focus.

On a personal level, all of my alterhumanity are in some way intertwined. Even if one of them may or may not standalone, it isn't long before it all link together for one factor or the other.

At some point, I didn't understand how anyone can have distance from their kinself.

And for the ease of wording, I'm going to use otherkin as a sort of collective referral to therian and fictionkin identities. Apologies therian and fictionkind folks. They are, after all, the same on technicality, just with different area focus.

Now, with so many new discovery about myself and me learning alongside my fellow community members, I can grasp how there can be the distance some may have with their kinity. But beyond that is also this realization just how much there is this emphasis of identify-as nonhuman within the scope of alterhumanity. As someone who's come to learn about the many layer and personal connection with my various adjacent identities, these are treasured. I cannot talk about my draconity without bringing up about myself (kinity), my headmates (daemonism and median plurality), my past life (kardiatype), our mess of not quite something vagueness with Aurelion Sol (vaguetype), and this weird relation with Flammie (flicker). But oh wait, from there is even more connection towards my other identities, from the Mew paratrope, to the enfield heartlink, which is also tied to the Naruto hearttype, that may or may not have something going on with the ninja archetrope. I basically tied all these up with my nature of being a Bond Weaver archetroper!

My point is, I can no longer talk about my otherkinity only, without bringing in a whole bunch of other area of alterhumanity.

It boggles my mind just a bit sometimes how some people stick to just the identify-as aspect of their identity.

I theorize that it is due to identify-as identity being the most straight forward, and in some way, the simplest to think and talk about compare to other alterhuman concept. Take for example, otherhearted identity is largely a concept that on some level, understandable, but the feeling of it is very hard to comprehend or articulate at times. Ten different people have eleven different answers. There is a level of irony with me saying this, because usually folks will tell you if you ask what otherkinity is, there will be more answer than there would be answerer.

Perhaps it's the concreteness. It's easy to say "I am this, this is me, I identify as this" because you know what that means. To exist, to live, is being, is identifying. Well, I'm stretching a bit at the last part. But existences is a constant contemplation of "what and who I am". Maybe even before alterhumanity, we learned to focus on the core self identity. The "I". It may not be easier, but it can be more direct to feel what you are feeling, versus trying to figure out if you are even feeling anything about a character that you identify-with (as a example).

Or maybe because it is the starting point. A lot of the times, folks get introduce to alterhumanity via otherkinity. Sometimes they stick to just otherkinity and never move beyond. I don't think that's final. Self discovery and journey is like that, eventually you will encounter things on your path that veers off, or random happenstance that made you pause and contemplate. Maybe someone find new kin identity, or maybe they find new ways their identity works that is beyond identify-as.

But tying back to the first two theories, I speculate that it is more likely for people to gain more kintype, than it is for them to gain more other alterhuman identities. There's only so much spoon for so much things. And maybe choosing to spend those effort thinking about what's already there and seen more prolifically around the community is just easier than say, trying to figure out if one is performing a role based around a literary trope, or if a past life is not in fact a identity at all but something foundational.

Of course, for folks who are interacting in larger community spaces, the likelihood of encountering those that are more "advanced" in the alterhuman journey means they are more likely to get introduced to concepts beyond the identify-as. It gets the thinking process started. Even if you don't end up with new identity, you gain knowledge, comprehension, and new perspectives to look at things. Before you know it, your world view is expanded, and maybe the next time you encounter a different concept, you can connect with that more than the last one.

Not to say that those that stick to a single place cannot expand their alterhuman identity "roster", identity is a ever shifting thing, sometimes new understanding are created, invented within a small community.

Though that can also easily lead to echo chamber or group thinking, and may potentially create ideas that has been long established in larger communities, or create without enough consideration of the possibility of more than identify-as. Which may or may not also perpetuate the whole focus of otherkinity and nonhumanity when colliding with the larger community, or vice versa where newcomer come into contact with these smaller, closed off community yet settled and never step foot outside ever.

Extra end note: I know I put more attention on just identifying-as instead of identifying as nonhuman. But I figure it still gets the point across, and sort of touches upon the issue between all three major types of alterhuman area (the nonhuman, the animalistic, the fictional).

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

And here you thought I'd vanished /j pt. 2

TL;DR: here's why I've been so quiet, and what I'll probably be posting about in the future.

My life and identity have changed my practice in a way that's not widely talked about.

So, after some thinking, I... kinda want to talk about it.

That was the ending of the last post, but the rest of this post needs context. So. What the fuck am I being all cryptic about anyway?? Quite a few things actually! I have another blog that I generally call "the weird closet" because it's where I keep all the things I don't want to put on this blog because the idea of it being associated with me as a tarot reader is pretty damn scary. I've decided fuck that, actually. I'll still be keeping that blog, as it acts as a journal now for more personal things, but I think I'd much rather be open about the stranger parts of myself and lose some followers and possibly ruin my change of doing tarot readings professionally than filter myself on my own blog that I made for my own practice as a witch.

So: I'll just be blunt as possible. "My" practice was secretly a group project. Recently, I've discovered my plurality. For those of you who are interested I'll make a more in-depth post on this sometime, but for now I'll focus on what exactly that is and how it effects this blog. I'll focus on my own situation, and it's not a monolith, so please be aware that I'm not giving formal definitions here.

Our collective- AKA system, we prefer the term collective- is multiple people who share one body. Frog, who you all know- that's me. The one typing this post. I'm not the only one in here, surprise! I know I sure as hell was. In our case, this is not DID nor OSDD. We're non-disordered. I call everyone else in our collective "headmates," like roommates! We're very open so feel free to ask questions about us as individuals, how our collective works, etc. etc. It might even help us figure some stuff out about ourselves. As for how this effects our practice; well.... we're learning to have our own practice as individuals. We haven't recently because there's been a lull in our ability to practice as witches, but ultimately the plan is to allow anyone who wants their own practice to develop their own practice and style with it.

As for how this effects this blog in particular; you'll see a lot more posts from someone other than me, simple as that. Some of our collective don't give a fuck about spirituality and will never really post here, meanwhile others have a major interest in it or in one case in particular being a witch is a core part of their identity; so you'll see some variety. This will allow us to post more often, so hopefully this blog will be less dead when there's no pressure for me to be the only one running it and be filtering myself the whole time.

As a second point; I, and many others in this collective, have nonhuman identities. You may not know what that is either, and we're also open about that. Part of my personal spiritual beliefs is that my soul's truest form is draconic in nature. As for the others, many of them are nonhuman and/or fictives, so they experience their identity as Alterhuman in some way. I have less to say about that because it's a bit less relevant to our practices and therefore this blog, but it probably will get brought up.

So that's a huge fucking post, but it's context I figured I should give y'all before we continue posting on here!

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: You work at an alien intelligence subset of the government. You were asking to get abducted… you’re just getting an in-depth look at extraterrestrial life. Pairing: Alien!Keven x fem human!reader Tropes: supernatural au Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: aliens, nonhuman Kevin Smut Warnings: fingering but with a tentacle, clitoral stimulation, breast play Word Count: 1,605 Host Tags: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye Before You Interact February Filth Masterlist

Listen to ♡ E.T. by Katy Perry

“There’s no way we just made contact…” Your coworker gasps.

You snap your head around, “We what?”

“We made contact! That UFO we spotted out by Saturn, we made contact!”

He starts scrambling around the room to scribble down wherever he can and runs out the door. He doesn’t even tell you where he’s going. You can only assume that he’s going to find your superiors to report the finding. You’re left with no answers as your coworker makes a mad dash for the door. Furrowing your eyebrows together, you walk towards the monitor that he had left open. The screen shows a rather blurry photo of the ship. From what you can tell, it’s enormous. Almost as if it could house an entire community. Just as you go to pull up the transmission you got from the ship. A bright beam of light blue surrounds you. Your heart rate spikes out of fear. You don’t know what’s happening or why. One moment, you’re standing in the lab, then next, you’re standing in what seems to be a command center. You stand out like a sore thumb in the space. Your messy bun, with safety goggles on the top of your head, your stark white lab coat, and blue gloves stand out in the dark space.

“Welcome to space,” a voice calls, “We’re orbiting Saturn right now. Of course, you already knew that.”

“Who are you?” You question. 

The creature turns around. His upper half looks human-esque. His hair is split horizontally. The top half of it is a stark white color, and the underneath is entirely the opposite. The color is so dark it nearly rivals the void outside the ship. His eyes are a golden color you’ve never seen before. It’s almost as if the color swirls around his wide pupils. As your eyes take in his form fully, you notice that his lower half is tentacles. It almost reminds you of the half-human, half-sea creature beings that you were told about in fairytales as a child. He stalks closer to you. The tentacles move as if they’re human legs but also move like an octopus’s tentacles as well. He doesn't have suction cups like a sea creature typically has, but you’re still fascinated by the deep purple appendages. 

He stops not but a foot from you. One of his tentacles barely touches your boot as he analyzes you. You feel small under his gaze, but you still love every moment of the feeling. It takes everything in you not to reach out and figure out exactly what he’s like. Your mind’s scientific nature begs you to analyze him just the way he’s analyzing you. Before you can reach out to get a feel of his physical form, he reaches out to touch you first. His hand is the same as a human's. His hand comes up under your chin, tipping your chin up. He has his chin tilted up, looking down his nose at you. Turning your head side to side, he lets out a slight hum.

“Maybe I should be asking you that.” He says, “Your lab is the one who sent us a transmission first.”

You let out a shaky breath, “It wasn’t me specifically.” 

“Still your lab, no?”

“Yes.”

He hums again, “You would never be able to pronounce my name. How about I find a human name for you to call me.”

“Which would be?”

The alien drops his hand from your chin. He moves and crosses his arms across his body as he thinks. He looks around the otherwise empty space. His golden eyes glow under the lights of the room. 

“How about Kevin?” He finally says.

You try to stifle a giggle, “Of all human names you could’ve chosen, you chose Kevin?” A snarl-like sound escapes his throat, “Is there an issue with that?”

A fire burns beneath his eyes as he questions you. You feel a shiver run through your body and center in your core.

“Nothing’s funny! I like it. I was just shocked you chose that over a more unique one!”

Kevin smirked, “You want to analyze my species so badly. Why don’t we both get a nice close encounter with each other, hmm?”

All you can do is nod and let him walk around you. You assume he wants you to follow, so you do. You take in your surroundings. The ship is nearly entirely composed of dark silver metal. There are bright white strips of light that follow down the pathway. You can’t be sure if they’re lights like at home or if there is some sort of other technology humans have yet to discover.

Kevin guides you further down this seemingly never-ending hall until you stop in front of what seems to be just part of the wall. The alien knocks a unique pattern, and a doorknob appears. Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head with the notion of his species’ technological advances. Humans could never come close to what they’ve accomplished already. Pushing the door open, Keven gestures for you to step inside before him. Once you’re inside the room, Kevin pulls the door shut again. You watch as the door disappears and becomes nothing more than the wall again. Taking in this new environment, you notice it’s similar to a bedroom you’d see on Earth. It feels like a safe space for someone to relax and be themselves. There’s some sort of digital pad with a three-dimensional hologram half-drawn floating above it. Kevin moves toward it and taps a few things before the device goes black and sinks into a space on the surface.

“On the bed.” He states, “I want a close look at what you human women look like.”

You turn to locate the bed before sitting down on it, “Most women aren’t in my career field, and I’m not exactly dressed how I’d wish to be for this kind of encounter.”

He nods, “You humans put such a president on appearance… it’s a shame.”

“Well, humans are naturally drawn toward pretty things. Pretty is subjective.” 

Kevin nods again and undoes his outfit, letting it fall away from his body. You just mentioned that humans are naturally drawn to aesthetics. Now, you couldn’t be more right. Kevin’s human-like upper half is well-sculpted. He’s toned but not too bulky in any way. He’s like a walking wet dream. You subtly rub your thighs together, hoping Kevin doesn’t notice. His golden eyes immediately dart to the movement, though.

“Do humans get pleasure from that? Rubbing the upper portions of their legs together?”

“Not well, but, um, it does help a little sometimes.”

“Is it helping now?” The alien questions further.

You shake your head, “Not at all.”

Kevin’s golden eyes swirl with some unknown green flecks. He stares at you for a few moments. Then, your body feels bare. Not a single bit of clothing is on your body. You look around the room, and the clothing is nowhere to be seen. Kevin steps closer and notices the sheen of arousal coating your lower lips. Your eyes are blown wide with desperation as you notice his tentacles shifting as he calculates his next move.

“Is this how humans show their arousal? Do all humans’ genitalia grow wet? Is it always this wet? And these,” he brings a tentacle to toy with your nipple, causing you to moan, “These feed your young. Why are they erect?”

“C-can’t I answer your questions later? I need something inside me!”

Kevin brings another dark purple tentacle to wrap around your thigh and push it so that your cunt is exposed to him properly. Another moves to gently rub along the edge of your entrance. His eyes are fixated on your wet core. The appendage pushes into you, and you let out a loud moan. You deduce that he must have some sort of telepathic knowledge of what you want next, or it’s simple curiosity, but he starts thrusting the tentacle into you while a third, much smaller one, fixates on your clit. The first one continues to play with your chest. The entire experience is too much to process at once.

You fall back against the bed and spread your legs further apart as he starts to thrust the tentacle into you harder and faster. The smaller one focused on your clit starts to rub the bud quicker and harder as well. Just as you go to warn him of your impending orgasm, it shocks its way through your system. You shake and convulse on the bed as he continues to toy with your body. His eyes are full of perverted fascination as you moan nonsense in any language known to either of you. 

When you pant, catching your breath, as you come down from your high, Kevin pulls his tentacles off of your body and comes closer to your sensitive core. His breath puffs against your wet folds, making you both desperate for more, and you hope he lets you have a small break to recuperate.

“I’ve done some research on you humans.” He starts, “What I found was that nearly 60% of females don’t find true pleasure in these activities. Even more, don’t react the way your body just did. Did I do something special, or are you one of the rare females that can react this way?”

You gasp when he runs his finger through some of your arousal, “You definitely worked some magic with those tentacles.”

“Wanna see what else these tentacles can do?” He asks with a suggestive lilt, “You haven’t finished your close encounter yet?”

COPYRIGHT STARLITMARK 2024© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — reposting/modifying any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations are not permitted. 

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Tag List: @bratty-tingz @yeosangiess @minjaeluver @abbietwilight @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

[lepospondyl]

🔥 curious abt your eo takes

I think my biggest hot take about eo is that atlus should do more with the fact that the setting is sci-fi in disguise rather than pure fantasy. it might be the worldbuilding nerd in me saying this but I want to know what a post-apocalypse post-yggdrasil society is like! everyone is so guarded abt eo1's plot twist that absolutely nobody talks about this integral part of the setting in order to prevent spoilers and the backlash to eou letting the cat out of the bag was completely unjustified. I WISH that they had let eo being an "earth in the future" setting stay an open secret so that they could do more with it in the games. even if the plot of "the adventurers realize they're actually in a science fiction story" won't be possible anymore afterwards it opens up so many potential other plotlines. maybe eo6's plot could be figuring out how the "magic" in the setting actually works, or the antagonist could be someone who wants to go back to the high-tech days of old despite the fact that it would be ruinous to the carefully restored ecosystem. i was also sorely disappointed by the fact that eo5 started to do this with the fifth stratum but then stopped short of actually exploring the implications that their entire world had been artificially created.

also i'm not sure if this is my place to say anything since i'm not ainu and don't know all that much about ainu culture, but since eo is a "real world" setting having the forest folk being a direct ainu allegory kind of rubs me the wrong way, especially since they're described as nonhuman. while the devs probably couldn't talk about the actual ainu genocide since eo1 released in 2007 (which was before the ainu people were even federally recognized in japan as indigenous) and the forest folk are portrayed in a sympathetic light it's still kind of weird that despite this being a setting where ainu people exist (since the whole big reveal of eo1 is that it's NOT a made-up fantasy world) they're still allegorized as green plant people (which also falls into the whole "indigenous people are magic and have an Innate Understanding of the land" stereotype). since eou story mode was already willing to rewrite that section of the plot and ricky did know about the pre-yggdrasil era, i feel like they should at least explore the implications of an engineered non-human species having a culture very similar to a pre-yggdrasil ethnic group. is visil ainu and the forest folk having a culture similar to the ainu is a way for him to preserve his culture through his creations? is the reason why no forest folk have facial hair or tattoos (which are a sign of adulthood in ainu culture) because visil sees them as his children who will never grow up and thus he's free to discard them when convenient? anything would be better than the genocide justification plotline tbh

[multiverse-sya]

Learning about my paratype first

I've posted this on my dreamwidth first. In order to avoid cross posting in the tags on tumblr, I will be utilizing periods to break apart a word. If you see a . in the middle of a word, it's just to hide my post. I really don't want to do it this way, but at the same time, I only want people in alterhuman spaces to see this.

I connected to vul.cans, before discovering my main pro.toss identity. And I now consider vul.cans to be a paratype despite learning about them first.

To explain what I'm talking about, I will need to start at the beginning. About ten years ago, before I knew anything about alterhumanity but knowing already that I specifically felt nonhuman or animal,  I remember getting interested in Star.Trek. And although I vaguely knew what pro.toss were at the time, I didn't look too deeply into them even though my thoughts at the time towards them were: "I find them interesting. I should read more about them in the future", and you can guess what happened once I looked into them more closely and looked past their in game appearances. Although I was always interested in science fiction, I feel that getting into Star.Trek made me look into the genre more closely in general. And as I was watching the movies and series, I began to develop an attachment to vul.cans.  So when I first looked into Sta.rcraft, the knowledge I pulled from to understand the historical events and telepathic abilities were from the vul.cans.

In hindsight, they do have some similarities with pro.toss, even though you'd think of klin.gons first, since we were considered a warrior race as well. After all, one of the quotes from a pro.toss unit in Star.craft 1 based on a klin.gon warcry: it's a good day to die. But I can't clearly make sense of why I developed this connection with vul.cans, and near zero with klin.gons, past the honor components. Maybe I latched to them because of my anxiety at the time, and wanting to be able to control my anxiety (an issue I still struggle with and will always have to). Or my brain truly made some barely remembered connection to them based on what it knew about my life as a pro.toss, which I believe I've had since birth, or both.

I became so interested in their desert world, their culture and history, and I even began to learn the language. I recently went back to trying to learn the vu.lcan language and figured out that I still remember some of the basic grammar and vocabulary rules after nearly an entire decade. I don't know it fluently but I can pick apart grammar and verbs in a sentence, to the point that I consider it my third language. A few years later, I'd go on and try to learn the pro.toss language (called kh.alani), which there are only a few translated phrases on. To make life harder for me, there is apparently a real life kh.alani dictionary that the franchise uses, but it's not public. So I have to use my own imagination. My mind seems to be pulling on what it remembers about learning about vu.lcan and tries to construct it onto the pro.toss language, because it sees a similarity between the two. Now, there isn't anything inherently spiritual about that, it's just interesting that it's where my mind goes to, instead of pulling from the other languages I know much better. Although there are some similarities in word structure and sounds between the two. It could be that my brain also sees similarities and has an easier time remembering both of the languages that way.

I believe the passerby will look like phrases from the same language, but the first one is in kh.alani, the second is in vu.lcan:

"Ki nala atu.m...na adan saiosh." "Ki'sarlal nash-veh gla-tor du."

Despite how human vul.cans look, they are similar to pro.toss in a few ways. Mostly, we are both telepathic and have a focus on the mind and on mental abilities a little bit more than humans generally do. Control, practice, discipline and a focus on martial art skills are all things that they have in common and resonates with me. Vul.cans culturally have a great respect for privacy and although this isn't an entire species specific trait for the pro.toss, it is also important in ner.azim culture, a certain pro.toss group that I will talk about later. We also ironically, have a very similar history of bloodshed. I still recall that my first thought when I went through pro.toss history in the fandom wiki was something like: "Huh. So they went through that vu.lcan thing too", even though the outcome was the EXACT opposite of what the pro.toss had done back then.

To summarize to those who don't know, vul.cans had a very violent period in their history and were close to destroying themselves. But then along came S.urak, who managed to bring peace and discipline by teaching the importance of logic and the control of your emotions. Contrary to what most people believe about vul.cans, they experience emotions at a greater level than humans do, though they are forced to suppress them through practice and discipline. Vul.cans aren't born logical and emotionless, it's learned through practice. Although I personally don't think suppressing them is a healthy long term solution. Now prot.oss on the other claw, also went through a violent period of history where they went back to the stone age from all of the wars they fought with each other. And then came Kh.as, who fills the same literary role as Su.rak. Only instead of bringing logic, he brought a giant crystal that connected all of the pro.toss through an emotional link. There, hiding your emotions and thoughts were very difficult. A group of pro.toss, the nera.zim, severed themself from this link for the sake of privacy and individuality, which is a group I'm a part of.  But to put another wedge into things, there were also a group of vul.cans who despised Su.rak's philosophy and left. Those became the rom.ulans, which I don't really have any strong feelings towards. I think this is because rom.ulans took on an adversarial role throughout the story lines but the ner.azim weren't presented as evil, just as wanting different things.

(I can't be the only one who sees these similarities)

As a note, my memories are often pretty reliable, and go to great lengths to make sure I remember everything correctly and am not applying what I know now to the past. But I'm sure that despite that, there might be additional details that I'm missing such as more of my specific thoughts when I was learning about vul.cans.

As I mentioned once, I picked the name 'Sya' while learning the vul.can language on a forum. And I ironically decided to stick with the name 'Sya' when I started out in the therian community in 2017, completely oblivious about my pro.toss weirdness at that time.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Wayward Waters Epilogue

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Ayy, Epilogue already? that was fast! but i have good news!

i have re-edited arc 1 (removed typos, made it more comprehensible etc. also shorter chapters so its not a wall of text anymore) so i will upload that some time after!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

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After the Victory Rose had anchored,  with the smaller Halcyon close behind we were finally home.

Not wanting to spend too much time in Tunstead lest there was a repeat of Naroa Island and someone didn't like that there were Nonhumans visiting.

Not like Rikaad would allow that but there were always assholes.

So instead we went straight for the castle, none of the crew of the Halcyon having seen a building this big before, or confusingly built.

Which was very evident as half of them got lost in less than half an hour.

At least Imugi had fun doing figures around the spikes at the bottom of the cliff.

We found them about two hours later, Jamie having been chased out of the kitchen like some raccoon and Ronan got brought outside by Norrin, who had scruffed him like a disobedient dog.

For some reason the Grumpy young man Leon came with us to the castle and refused to say much or leave.

We left him for now,  with Nea and Norrin around there wasn't much he could do.

I shooed the Crew to Okaleys tower,  he would have more information about the blue bracelet anyway.

Yamet had opted to tour the kitchen, stating the others could tell him later and that he'd rather see if he could trade recipes.

The tower itself was as askew and unorderly as always,  and we hadn't even knocked.

The door was missing completely anyway for some reason so we simply walked in.

I did come as a surprise though that Nea was in here,  holding a brown creature with white spots on its back.

At first I thought she was holding a fawn, but then I noticed the longer neck and nubby horns as well as the claws and long tail.

“Nea? Where the FUCK did you get a baby Drake?”

The thing in question made horrifyingly pitiful bleaking noises,  pawing uselessly at the air as Nea held it like a particularly squirmy cat.

Though it was more the size of a young goat.

“I found it! So I get to keep it!”

I was not about to Argue with her, she'd kick my ass,  Instead I stared confusedly at Oakley, who was painting the cat blue.

Oh so one of those days where nothing made sense involving him.

“Oakley, why are you painting the cat blue?, and why does Nea have a baby Drake?”

He turned to face us and shrugged.

“No idea what the insane lady here is doing but i'm trying to figure out what magic affinity our dear kitty here has! 

The paint is made of lapis lazuli by the way!

Now say who are those people behind you and why is the Zoa trying to pocket some of my Gems?”

I looked over at Jamie who hastily put some sort of clear crystal back onto a shelf.

“Uh, those are friends i made while on the ocean, long story i'll tell you later, but uhh we found another Bracelet, its blue this time”

I pointed at Ronan who in turn pointed at the Bracelet on his arm.

In less than a Second Oakley had gripped his arm with one foot and was hanging onto the wall with the other, inspecting the new Bracelet up close and with no regard for personal space.

Ronan just stared confused at Oakley, though to be fair he was already used to having to be a Perch for jamie.

“Did the creature look anything like the Ardua?”

No that it did not.

“Uh, no, it was more like a seal with big and flat hands and a long tail with a fin, does it have its own name?”

Oakley Jumped of off Ronan and walked back to where he was, rummaging through his coat a bit before pulling out a Book.

While he flipped pages, and apparently had trouble reading it? The Cat, Gloxinia trailed blue paint everywhere, jumping up the windowsill and bapping at the very confused baby Drake Nea was still holding.

The poor thing probably had a very weird day,  getting manhandled by a quite frankly rather crazy woman and then getting disrespected like that by a cat.

The thing bleaked again, trying to wind itself out of Nea’s Grip,  yeah that would be futile.

“AHA! Found it! I think translating is gonna take a while seeing as the author changes the stupid coded letters every five pages! 

And language as well!, tell ya what, imma deal with Nea now and then go back to translating, you can come back after Dinner or so”

That was reasonable, and Jamie and Akeem had left already anyway, leaving only Ronan and Imik here.

No doubt Akeem went after Jamie to prevent chaos,  and they took the clear crystal from the shelf again.

Nea set the confused Drake on Oakley table where it did a wide stance as if it couldn't decide between fight or flight,  not that either would be a good idea with Nea here.

“So! Arthur got all pissy when I brought ta lil guy with me! Said just cuz i got rid of tha big one din’ mean i could keep tha smaller one!

I say tha only one that can tell me what ta do is Rikaad! 

And i want you ta tell me what exactly this is so i can ask to keep it,  or him or her or whatever!”

The thing in question made another bleaking Noise, sniffing at the table and looking over the edge of it.

Ronan put his face close to it and the thing screeched horribly, scrambling and slipping on the old wood and nearly falling off.

In response to that Nea tossed Ronan out, literally, she tossed him out the window and Imik walked out after him to make sure he was okay.

Since Ronan had landed in a bush he only had some dirt on him, and after that they both wanted to look around the castle more instead of being near Nea.

Yeah, fair, I did however want to see how the entire Drake thing would play out so we parted ways and I went back inside where Oakley was just telling Nea that the little guy was a male.

“I'd say it's a young male,  the spots have the same reason as fawn spots, they fade with time and he should get some more tan and brown colors. 

I can't say what species exactly yet but it's possible he'll get stripes,  or colored horns.

If you're sure you wanna try taming him go ahead, i can't guarantee anything but i sure am gonna watch you try, you'd probably be the first to do that, well to be fair you gotta be a bit insane to try”

A bit was good, but I also wasn't exactly fond of anyone trying to kill something so young, and thus far the little guy hadn't done anything.

As it was he was even afraid of the cat, who was still covered in blue paint and attempting to groom him.

All that did was cover him in blue paint too and he looked rather miserable at that.

While Nea argued with Oakley about what size he could reach, apparently Nea had expected something big like a dragon but Oakley estimated something slightly larger than a horse,  so I held out my hand to the strangely fluffy creature. 

All in all it looked scraggly and scruffy,  the only scaled parts being the legs and sand colored underside as well as the rather beak-like snout that seemed to be made of cartilage.

It tentatively sniffed at my hand, bonking its head against it.

Then Gloxinia wanted all the attention and I had to pet her with the other hand while the goat sized creature was inspecting my hand with its amber colored eyes.

Maybe Ronan would have some tips for Nea since he’d sorta raised Imugi already.

I was handed a blue stained cat by Oakley who told me to go wash the color off before she decided to lick it off.

“You want me to wash a cat? 

A cat of all things who are not known for liking water?”

“Yeah! Good luck!”

And with that he shoved me out, not even saying if he'd figured out if Gloxinia had any magic or magic type.

Well, better get this over with,  I wasn't even sure if the paint was edible so she probably shouldn't lick it even if that was how cats normally cleaned themselves.

Ignoring that my own shirt had gotten blue in places,  I went to the next best water source and tried my best to keep a hold of Gloxinia who definitely did not like water.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

I looked up to see that Leon guy.

“Oakley put paint on the cat, i'm trying to get it off before she licks it,  but i don't think she likes water”

Leon stuck his hand into the water bucket,  taking it back out and flicking water at me.

“Yeah no shit, thats cold water, why the fuck would wold a cat like that, try warm water next time dipshit”

Rude, at least I was trying, and not letting her eat paint.

“You do it then! If you're so much better at that!”

At the moment neither the cat nor me were happy about it.

“Aight, bet”

With that he grabbed both Gloxinia and the bucket, slinging the cat half over his shoulder and dragging the bucket to who knew where.

Well, at least I didn't have to do it now.

And judging by the fact that Gloxinia tried rubbing her head against his ear she was also rather happy about that.

Whatever, if that guy thought warm water would make her hate it less he was free to try.

Now where did everyone else go? 

Hopefully none of them got into trouble.

As it turned out they just had gotten lost in the castle again,  which we only found out because Jamie walked along the outside of it to try and get someone that knew where the fuck everything was.

Yamet however was found in the kitchen, 

talking and working with Myril so we left them to it, whatever they were doing smelled really good so we were not going to interrupt.

As expected when two very good cooks were put in the same kitchen, Dinner tasted amazing, some sort of Goulash that heavily utilized spices.

Yamet was probably the one that had brought the spices.

After that I brought Ronan back to Oakleys tower,  also rather curious about whatever he found out.

We did do a little detour though as apparently Nea had decided to train her new Pet like a Dog, including the command to fetch things.

Well, things, she let it chase a rat carcass she had tied to some other poor Guard that had to run laps to avoid the little beast.

Not something anyone wanted to be involved in.

“Is she trying to train the Drake?”

“I think so, but i don't think she knows how to,  how did you know how to take care of Imugi?”

He shrugged.

“Fuck around find out really, Imugi was easy cuz she loved doing what i was doing, also i was the first thing Imugi saw when she hatched so i guess she imprinted on me? I'm not entirely sure she knew she was a sea creature for the first few months.

Also I gave her treats when she did good things. 

Maybe I can talk to the lady there later and see if I can help! 

I've never really seen a Drake this close! Or young!”

“You do that, 

i'm not entirely sure she won't tell the little guy to bite you though”

I Wouldn't put it past her to do that, Besides we had other stuff to do first.

So, Ignoring whatever torment Nea brought upon everyone else,  I knocked on the doorframe to Oakley tower, the Door itself still missing.

“Ah there you are! Come in! I accidentally melted the door anyway!”

I kept quiet about wondering how the fuck someone could melt a Door on accident.

“Did you find out more about the Blue bracelet? 

Does the water creature also have a name?”

Oakley wordlessly pointed at two chairs and told us to sit down, 

heaving the book he rummaged for earlier onto the table.

Flipping pages around he stopped on a depiction of the creature Ronan turned into, though the drawing on the old paper depicted spots Ronan did not have as well as a different tailfin and a more brownish coloration.

But it was still the same creature, the depiction surrounded by runes and letters that were absolute gibberish to me.

Oakley pointed at it.

“So from what I found out this is a Faraselgi,  and it's basically the same principle as for the Ardua just with a water element instead of an earth one, the rest is pretty much the same.

Well that far we got ourselves already.

“Anything else about it? Or is that all?”

I would have expected it to have at least a few more differences.

“Nope! Aside from the different creatures, which are really just based on environmental factors, it's pretty much the same!

What? Did you think the blue one got superpowers or something?”

Of course not, but after being able to turn into an Ardua I couldn't exactly know what to expect regarding those Bracelets.

“How much is the same? I mean I know about the two hearts thing, 

Is the rest also the same?”

Ronan asked, brow creasing as he tried to read the absolute mishmash of letters and runes, clearly not getting anything from that.

Oakley just nodded.

“Well yes, if you take aside the tailfin shorter hind legs and stupidly big paddle shaped grabbers it is very similar!

Oh also your thoracic vertebrates are longer,  so you sort of got a mock fin on your back, but it's technically bone”

There was the weird thing,  of course there had to have been at least one weird thing about it.

Well, weirder than it already was at least.

“So I got more bones? Awesome! Do they have a function too?”

Leave it to the biologist to find that exciting.

“I don't think so, maybe helps with balance,  don't go around trying to remove them”

A fair warning considering this was Ronan.

“Don't worry! I'm not gonna vivisect myself! 

Jamie and Imik would beat the shit out of me!”

That really shouldn't be his only concern here.

“Well then that's really all since you seem already familiar with it somehow! Just don't go around scaring people or you will find your head mounted to a wall someday!”

With that he picked up the book and shoved it back into his coat,  which shouldn't feasibly hold something that big.

“Hell yeah! Now I know what it's called! I'm gonna go tell the others! 

And Imugi! Imugi first! Before it gets dark! Byee!”

He rushed out the doorway,  well at least there would be a bit of daylight still.

“Does he know where he is going?”

“No i don't think so,  when i go back i'll inform someone to keep an eye out”

Eh, he'd be fine, he had a stupid amount of luck.

Besides, I did want to talk to Oakley a bit more.

My turn to say something that would throw him for a loop.

“I met your ex”

He spit out the tea he'd been sipping.

“What? Wait which one? 

Ah no considering where you were it can only be one”

Which one??? Dumbass, then again he was like what? Sixhundred?

It was likely he had more than one ex, or more than ten even.

“So, how is Grella doing? 

It's nice to hear she's still alive after all this time”

“She's kinda dying, just like magic,  but you knew that already didn't you?”

He stared into his mug.

“Kamerasca doesn't have any Ley lines, the closest one is where my old hut is, which is why I built it there, but yes, magic is dying.

I've noticed a long time ago,  but nobody I know could do anything about it. 

I can't do anything about it, and telling people brought nothing,  either rejoicing at the ‘evil’ becoming less or simply not caring considering it wasn't their problem.

The only ones that did care were the mages and wizards and the like,  I know a few Elemancers tried to figure out WHY it happened but when I got there they were dead already, stabbed in the back by someone that saw his magic as a curse rather than what it really was.

I debated telling you after I moved here,  but I didn't want to take your joy away so soon,  Besides, there is nothing you can do, and I didn't want to see anyone else get hurt trying to figure out what was going on with magic.

At first I even expected you guys to either not care or to actually care, and go off on some stupid mission to fix something that a mere human could never fix and die.

All the powerful and old magic users are either dead or somewhere in Valyria, which is very dangerous as is already, i bet even more died in the last two hundred years as most used magic to prolong their life.

But with magic dying all the old magic users will too, and Grella as well.

She's really the only one I feel sorry for.

How much time did she estimate?”

I stared at him, so he hadn't told me to not worry me,  but from what I gathered he would have told me eventually,  when it became relevant for me.

“She said about thirty years at most, she will die in less than twenty”

Oakley looked at his three fingered wing hand,  sadder than I had ever seen him.

“If i wasn't a coward i’d visit her, but alas i am just that”

“Why? She sounded like she still likes you, i don't think she’d hurt you”

He shook his head.

“No, i know she won't hurt me, we split because i could never really go dive into the depths with her, and the school i wanted to go to was a good bit inland, where she couldn't go, in the end our interests just didn't match anymore and we agreed both to call it off.

But there are things out there, that I made very angry,  people I made angry by obtaining what was considered forbidden knowledge.

If i were to go too far from Barmea and too close to Valyria again they would kill me, and they could make it permanent”

There was a lot I did not know about Oakley, but I knew he was not a bad person, why ever he had done it he would have had a reason to.

“So you're stuck on this continent? 

Wait, did you just live as a hermit for a few hundred years? 

No wonder you were so weird when we met you, you still are”

He puffed up indignantly.

“Well, social norms have changed a lot since I went into the forest! 

It's not my fault you humans can't stick with one thing!”

Well that was true.

“Fair, but I'm sure you could just have read up on it!”

He grinned, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

“Well i find the fuck around find out approach a lot more amusing! 

But if you insist I will head to the castle Library to get catched up now!

Also i need to get a new door, maybe i should do that first”

I looked at the doorway that let a cool breeze in.

“Yeah that has probably priority right now, well have fun repairing your door, i still need to say hi to Arthur, if i find him”

“Oh i think he fell asleep sorting paperwork!”

I nodded at Oakley and went back to the castle,  stopping briefly to grab the red blue and purple shell I had picked out for him, I did say I'd get him one.

Now I just had to find him.

Since every other hallway ended up in the throne room at one point or another that's where I went, and Rikaad and Robin were already there.

Rikaad stared with disdain at the needlessly pompous throne,  to be fair it did not look comfy at all.

“Hey! Have any of you seen Arthur? I did promise to bring him a shell"

I waved said shell in the air.

“I have not seen him, but he has to be around,  perhaps Norrin will know where-” Rikaad got interrupted by Arthur emerging from one of the side hallways.

“I hate the layout of this place! Oh you're all back!”

There was a Squeal and Robin rushed to hug the blonde, who had to hold a bunch of paper over his head to not get them scrunched up.

For some reason they had reddish brown stains in one corner.

Arthur nearly fell over if not for Rikaad grabbing his arm to keep steady.

Arthur awkwardly patted at Robin's messy head and I noticed that two of his fingers were in a splint.

“What happened to your fingers? Did Nea break them?”

Robin let go after that, inspecting said finger gently.

He did say before we left that he wouldn't doubt that Nea would do just that.

“Huh? Oh no i tried to grab at something that fell behind that longass drawer, kinda broke my finger when i slipped on paper”

Well, that still sounded painful.

But at least the next bit would probably cheer him up a little!

I handed Arthur the shell I had picked out for him, 

the blue, red and purple shimmering in the light.

“Here! I did say I'd get you a big one!”

He turned said shell over in his hand,  the thing being almost bigger as said hands.

“I didn't know seashells could have those colors! 

Thank you! OH! Also I have something as well!”

He held out the slightly stained paper, which I was now pretty sure was blood, and carefully took it, looking it over.

My face split in a grin as I read the title, 

It seemed like Rikaad had to rewrite a law pretty soon.

Man, I couldn't wait to write to Fable!

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[tictac-murder-spaghetti]

Finally got this working! I wrote this in October for Whumptober Day 2, and it's some good old Strychnine whump and hurt/comfort! This obviously happens after their friendship is fairly well established! As I post more I'll get an actual timeline going.

Content Warnings: Implied lab whump, implied (past) child abuse, nightmares, muzzles, dehumanization, minor horror elements, cages, nonhuman whump (he's made of goo???) Writing under the cut!

Strychnine was in the alley. Really, he had been in many alleys throughout his life, for various reasons, but tonight he had no idea why he was here. He pushed himself into a standing position, brushing the dust off his pants as he looked around, absolutely confused. How the hell had he gotten into an alley at night, just sitting on the ground? He didn’t seem hurt, besides the growling prickles of terror at the back of his neck. The stars sparkled above him, but he couldn’t seem to see the end of the alley in either direction, a feeling of cold dread washing over him. Strychnine began to run. As he did, the terror really kicked in, his heart pounding as if he was being chased, but he couldn’t see anything behind him besides the dark void of the alley and the same in front of him.

“Clunk!” Something hard and metal made contact with his knees, causing him to tumble to the ground with a cry of surprise. He tried to push himself back up, see what he had run into, but before he could he felt cold metal clamp around his neck and push his body back down onto the cobblestones. He’d seen this weapon before, he knew the man who wielded it, his best friend.

“Ambrose?” “Oh? How’d you guess it?” Strychnine had never heard his voice with such a chilling tone to it, full of malice. “Ambrose, what are you doing? Why am I here?” “Strychnine, don’t you really think it’s high time the ruse is up? That’s why you’re here. As for what I am doing, I’m doing my job. I’m arresting you.” “What?!” Strychnine was beginning to panic again, trying to figure out if there was any way for him to worm his way out of the clutches of the man catcher. Noticing his struggles, Ambrose leaned on the handle almost nonchalantly, pushing the metal band farther against Strychnine’s throat. “Ambrose, we’re friends!” “Strychnine, I’d never be friends with a criminal! And even worse, a monster! That’s what you are, Strychnine.” “What? No- no Ambrose, don’t say that. I thought we were friends.” Ambrose hadn’t said that, he couldn’t. Strychnine wasn’t a monster. He tried too hard to convince himself he wasn’t a monster, Ambrose knew that, Ambrose wouldn’t accuse him of that. The crimes? Yes, he’d committed crimes, he knew that, he was a criminal, but a monster? No, no.

Ambrose, or the thing that looked like Ambrose (Strychnine couldn’t believe Ambrose would say that to him, he couldn’t) noticed his distress, the condescending smile on his face widening, “Yes Strychnine, you thought. That’s the keyword there buddy.” “But- we hung out! You let me into your house, we did things together, we worked together!” “You broke into my house. You’re a wanted criminal, what you think I’m just going to kick you out of my house when you could kill me? Now I know you wouldn’t, you’re too weak for that, but I just went along with it. What would you do? If a little criminal bastard started following you around and wouldn’t leave you alone? I couldn’t call the rest of the police, they’d be much too suspicious of why I hadn’t taken you in in the first place.” Tears stared to well in Strychnine’s eyes, black and goopy- unnatural, but he still wasn’t a monster. Biologically different from every other mortal? Yeah, but he-he still wasn’t a monster, even if he had black radioactive goo running down his face instead of tears. “Then- what are you going to do?” He sniffled, “You said you were going to arrest me.” “Well… I am. But since I can’t bring you to jail, I know someone else who’ll take care of you. She really wants you back, you know.” Strychnine's eyes widened in fear as a mean smirk crossed Ambrose's face. “No- No Ambrose!! I’ll turn myself in, please don’t, please.” He pleaded, eyes wide, how-how could Ambrose have known? He never told him about his past, he’d considered him a friend, yes, but Strychnine couldn’t even think about what he’d gone through most of the time, and definitely couldn’t talk about it to anyone else. Ambrose released the mancatcher and Strychnine tried to make a desperate lunge away from him, but he reached out and grabbed Strychnine by the back of his shirt, painfully yanking him back and dragging the smaller man across the cobblestones. Strychnine struggled, trying to get out of Ambrose’s grip, but he wouldn’t let go no matter how much Strychnine rolled or flailed, making the dragging all the much more uncomfortable. Since he wasn’t restrained, Strychnine looked down at his gloves, considering. He could get out of here, just slip his gloves off, grab Ambrose around the ankle and Strychnine would be out. And Ambrose would be missing a foot. Even if he was mistreating him, the thought made Strychnine sick. He would have been a monster if he’d done that. He couldn’t. He told himself he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that after- her. She was the last person he’d done that to and he was going to keep it that way.

Instead he twisted around and grabbed Ambrose’s trenchcoat, trying to drag the taller man down. Ambrose swiveled around, roughly yanking the hem of his coat out of Strychnine’s grasp before letting go of his shirt and dropping him. Strychnine’s head painfully smacked against the cobblestones, letting out a wheeze of surprise. Dazed, he was helpless to even try to run again before Ambrose once again grabbed the back of his shirt and continued to drag him. The alley just kept stretching on, Strychnine’s vision blurring as his head rang, he was normally quite tolerant of pain but tonight... it hurt so bad. All he could see was dark stone wall after dark stone wall, feeling like they were falling in on top of the two of them. He clutched his head in his hands, just trying to get the pain, the tears, anything to stop, but it wouldn’t. He tried to dig his boots into the stones, slow Ambrose down, all he wanted was this hellish nightmare to stop, for this friend to be his friend again. The movement stopped. He tried to twist around, see if he could see what caused Ambrose to stop, but he couldn’t see Ambrose anymore. He couldn’t see anything anymore, just black void above and below him. And he fell.

Strychnine hesitantly opened an eye, and immediately regretted it. It was her- well, her legs, as he couldn’t see the rest from where he sat on the floor. His “mother”, the woman who had created him, and the very last woman he’d ever wanted to see. He scampered back, feeling cold metal underneath him, but he didn’t get far before cold metal pushed into his back as well-bars. He was in a cage. He was in a fucking cage. He looked down at his wrists and while his gloves were still on he couldn’t get them off, his only way to fight back taken from him by a thin strip of metal wound around each wrist, pinning his gloves to his body. He started to breathe fast, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“I really appreciate your friend here bringing you back to me #07. I missed you so much.” She kneeled down to look at him through the bars of the cage, a cruel smile on her face, sparks buzzing between her horns, showing that she was truly more happy to see him again then her voice betrayed, but Strychnine didn’t really like her view of “happy”. He watched as Ambrose passed the cage as well, his “mother” standing back up to meet him. “Really sir, thank you. My son here has been quite the menace, and after I lost him so many years ago I thought I’d never get him back. He’ll be… properly dealt with.” “Good,” Ambrose spat, with more hatred in his voice then he’d ever heard, “That's what it deserves.”

Hearing his friend- his best friend say something like that about him, he had to ask why, Ambrose why? All that came out was a pitiful whimper, as he couldn’t open his mouth fully, only now realizing part of his ringing headache was the straps tightened around his head holding a muzzle in place. His “mother” had muzzled him and thrown him into a cage like he was some sort of wild animal or… like he was a monster. He grabbed at the strap, trying to find the buckle but fumbling as his hands shook. “Oh #07, I’m so sorry I had to do that,” She leaned down again, “I was just worried you’d react like this. Last time you got angry with me you did this-'' She rolled up one of the sleeves of her lab coat and Strychnine saw the full extent of what he’d done as a child… but something was wrong, her arm was covered in deep gouges and chemical burn scars, but they still dripped with black goo just like his own hands. She reached into the cage, Strychnine desperately trying to back away from her grasp but being stopped by how small the cage was. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragging him towards the front of the cage and holding him in place.

“I didn’t want you doing that again when we continued where we left off-” she poked him hard in the chest, right above his heart, “Such a shame the experiment had to be delayed so long. In the last 19 years I’ve made plenty of advancements, but I kept everything how it was back then just for you.” She pulled him up to the bars of the cage again, pushing his face against them as she hissed in his ear. “I’m not letting you ruin this, or me, ever again.” The black goo started to run down her face, dark tears burning through the flesh of her face. She dropped him as more black dripped down her face, her scarred arm. Even Ambrose, who had been coldly watching him from the side of the room started to melt, black dripping out his eyes and the sleeves of his coat. Strychnine gasped in horror, scrambling back once again trying to get away from the horrific forms of his “mother” and best friend. He curled into a little ball, tears pouring from his own eyes as he tried to pretend this isn't happening. It couldn’t be happening. He tugged at the muzzle more, maybe if he could get it off- maybe if he could just scream it’d all be better. But anything would be better, anything would be better than this, prison would be better than this, he just wanted out- he wanted out- please, please could it just stop-

------------------------------

Strychnine woke up in his bed. His heart still pounded, his pillow and cheeks both still wet with black goopy tears. Just like- no. He rolled over, staring up at his ceiling. It was just a nightmare. It hadn’t happened, though the way his gloved hands were clutching the sheets and the tears wouldn’t stop coming told him the fear was so very, very real. He wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep. Strychnine swung his legs off the bed before he stood up, taking a deep, shuddering breath. He slowly made his way to the window before cracking it open and stepping out onto the roof.

Ambrose woke with a start, looking around wildly, trying to find out where the assailant was coming from, trying to figure out who was breaking into his bedroom. That was until his eyes landed on Strychnine, crouched on his windowsill, eyes glowing yellow in the dark. Normally he’d just shoo the other man away like he was some sort of feral cat or a raccoon, it was the middle of the damn night after all, but something was wrong. Strychnine was usually so smiley, even when he was being an annoying little menace, but he wasn’t now. Black lines ran down his face from his eyes, looking like tear tracks, if tears could stain black. He got out of bed, throwing a robe over his shoulders before cracking open the window.

“Strych-” He was cut off as Strychnine barreled through the window as fast as he could, the smaller man wrapping his arms around Ambrose’s waist in a hug. Ambrose was a little shocked, but put his hands on Strychnine’s shoulders in a supportive gesture. Strychnine was shaking. “Strychnine, what’s wrong?” “Ambrose, I’m not a monster, right?” “What? I mean, you’re weird but you’re not a monster. What happened Strych?”

He held the smaller man close to him as he sniffled, trying to take a deep breath. Ambrose led him over to the couch in his bedroom, sitting down besides Strychnine. Strychnine was in his pajamas but still had his gloves on, Ambrose wondered if he ever took them off. “I-I had a nightmare. You were in it. You… said some horrible stuff. And I could kind of tell it wasn’t you… something felt so wrong, but it still hurt. Then some stuff from my past came up-” Tears started welling in his eyes again, “And it was scary. So-so scary. And dehumanizing, and just… it was bad. I thought I’d forgotten those things but… I hadn’t.” Ambrose pulled Strychnine into a side hug, “I’m sorry Strychnine. You don’t need to tell me what happened, if you don’t want to. But I’ll assure you, I am your friend. And I don’t know what nightmare Ambrose told you, and I don’t need to know, but hey, I’d go and get him for you. And you’re not a monster.” Strychnine sniffled, “You suck at fighting though.” A slight smile crossed Ambrose's face, “Hey, if I had to fight myself but meaner I think I’d win still. We’d both suck.” Ambrose gently grabbed Strychnine’s gloved hands with his own, “Like I said, you’re a bit… odd, but you’re not a monster. And the weirdness is what makes you fun, anyway. Who knows if we’d be friends if I didn’t find your weirdness so endearing but I do. And we are.” “Thank you Ambrose. I feel kind of bad, I just broke into your house and woke you up in the middle of the night, but could you just sit with me for a little bit longer? I’ll go back home but I just- I need to sit for a bit and it’s better to have company.” “No problem buddy.” Ambrose sat with Strychnine for a while, until the smaller guy's breath began to slow and Strychnine fell asleep again, slumped over on the couch. Ambrose carefully got up so he wouldn’t wake him and tossed a blanket over his best friend before yawning. The sun wouldn’t come up for a few more hours, and he was tired, but he didn’t want to disturb Strychnine. Another night sleeping in his office wouldn’t hurt. He hoped Strychnine wouldn’t have another nightmare but even if he did, Ambrose would be around this time. And real Ambrose would be there for him, since really Strychnine wasn’t a monster, he was his best friend.

Taglist @a-crumb-of-whump (Please ask to be added or removed!)

[serowebs]

how did you find out you were demonkin? i'm questioning if i'm a demon and so i'm asking around for other demons experiences

Good luck trying to read my rambling because I don't know if I can properly word out my thoughts and i am sorry if things may sound confusing just as a heads up if it do.

Honestly I am like pretty split on my whole demonkin identity for various reasons generally, but some of the reasons for me personally that make me think I am largely come from a rather general connection to demons and demon related things. Ever since I was very young and before I even knew what the fuck otherkinity was I personally always internally saw myself as, at the very least, some kind of demon like entity and I have always desired to be some sort of nonhuman physically ever since a young age. Any time in media where demons were portrayed I would see atleast part of myself in them and other things but I cannot truly put to words the specifics. I have had sort of like a phase not too long ago where I would try and just gather as much information as possible on demons and such not purely for questioning reasons at first but as I was looking around I was also starting to notice patterns and traits that would also match some of my experiences in one way or another wich would let the idea of me being demonkin kind of solidify in me. Whilst questioning I did further research about demon related topics generally but I have also looked around and compared to some other demons' experiences here and the fact that my feelings sort of matched up and the way I look internally also matched up with other demons here made me consider that label also rather strongly. Hell, I have even talked with a different demon that seemed rather similarly to me in the aspect as also being some kind of void and they also gave me the advice of aside of doing research and probably overthinking too much also just sort of "trying out the labels" aswell and if you change your mind and figure out "hey maybe I am actually not a demon" then that is perfectly fine too and after trying things out for a bit I personally just stuck with it because yea that in my opinion actually kind of suits me in my eyes you know? even if I am rather very 'soft' to be a typical one I just feel like to be considered a demon just matches up with my inner self.

[vulpecular-draconic]

although my phantom limbs haven’t been as strong/as frequent the last couple of months, i’ve still been thinking about my nonhumanity, and i’ve made a few discoveries!

first: the post i made about feeling more disconnected from humanity during this lull than normal and feeling like a changeling instead? i think i’ve figured out that “changeling” is my standard now. back when i first discovered alterhumanity, i did feel like a human, but i’ve slowly drifted away from that. now i’m at the point where when i’m not feeling like any specific kintype very strongly, my default is changeling.

which, speaking of, is subtly different than fae. i noticed that pretty soon after realizing they were ‘types, but i haven’t been able to articulate the difference until recently. the two are technically of the same species, but still different. when i’m feeling strongly fae it usually comes with at least a slight mental shift (and pearl fox phantom limbs, more on that in a sec), but feeling changeling is just… normal. my normal nonhuman brain. if someone came up to me and asked what species i am on an average day (and if being nonhuman was an accepted thing in society) then i would probably list “changeling” first.

my pearl fox kintype is intertwined with being fae/changeling. even if i’m not experiencing pearl fox phantom limbs, my natural inclination is to imagine my fae self with pearl fox features, or as a full-on anthro pearl fox. it goes the other way around too, where being more pearl-fox-ish leads me to feel more fae-ish.

a similar thing happens with cryptid and maned wolf (although usually not anthro there). cryptid itself is still mostly feelings and instincts based, and it can apply to many forms, but maned wolf-ish bodies fit it very well.

speaking of maned wolves — after questioning for a while, i think i’ll consider it a kintype? i’m still uncertain, but calling it a kintype seems most accurate.

i think i’ve mentioned how i am sometimes a shadowy being? that’s related to being cryptid, of course. the thing i’ve realized is that it’s probably an accidental otherlink. i started imagining myself as a shadowy being several years ago, way before i knew about alterhumanity. i chose things about it, so i know it was voluntary at the beginning. but after all this time it’s become a part of my identity. my connection to it fluctuates (like with all my kintypes), but i can’t drop it, and there’s some things i can no longer change about it.

OH. also! you know how i have “antlers” in my intro post, and how i say idk what they’re about? well i am very silly, because they are definitely related to being a cryptid as well as being a dragon. i don’t know how i didn’t realize it before. i usually get antler shifts the more cryptid i feel, and my dragon horns (at least on one of the dragon ‘types) are antler-ish. so yeah. very silly. i’m probably gonna remove them from my intro post soon

and not a discovery, but i’ve began working on a chart to explain my kintypes’ connections to each other, since it’s difficult to describe using words. i don’t know how long it’ll take.

…and i think that brings you up-to-date!

[practically-an-x-man]

🎬🚥😎🧜‍♂️🧿 for Terra and Madison?

Thank you so much!!!

A Sort of Whumpy Writer's Block Ask Game

🎬 What was the very first scene or image that popped into your head before you ever wrote a word for your OC?

Terra: Given I first created her for the plot bunny ask game... I didn't really have one, honestly! Usually I get an idea for a moment or scene and flesh out the character from there, but with that ask game I focused more on just creating a new OC that would be reasonably interesting and would fit the tone of Arcane- I didn't even expect to do anything with her until I wound up obsessed with season 2!

Madison: The first image I had was Alex being out on a mission to this old camp with a lake, looking into the reflective surface of the water and seeing Madison's face semi-visible under the surface of the water. That scene never made it into the fic, since her actual entrance involves her leaping out of the water in the middle of a fight scene, but it was what prompted me into her fishlike mutation and "wild" background

🚥 Is there a character choice or plotline that you regret but is now canon and you feel like you can't change it?

Terra: Not with Terra... no, but seriously, I wouldn't say I regret accidentally dooming Pluto to the narrative with that fic I wrote, but it's definitely going to be interesting to try and figure out where to go from here once Act 3 comes out and I see where canon goes.

Madison: No. There are definitely some things I would like to rewrite, particularly in the earlier chapters of her fic, but that's more about writing style (since those early chapters are old) than plot decisions. I'm pretty secure in the arc of her story and what it contains.

😎 Pick one thing about your OC and describe it in detail. (their smile, their eyes, the way they walk, their voice, etc.)

Terra: Terra's eyes are naturally a sort of hazel-green shade, though they have taken on a pinkish tinge due to her prolonged Shimmer use. When her use of Shimmer increases, even in the short-term, this pink color becomes pronounced and visible (with extreme use, the color almost seems to glow); and when her use of Shimmer decreases, her eyes begin to return to their natural color. Because of this, her eyes are most often a sort of undefined, murky color from that mix of green and pink.

Madison: Due to her mutation, her hair and eyes have a reflective quality to them - they mirror the colors of what's around her. Her eyes, being a smaller surface, mainly just reflect colors, though if someone looks closely they could see distinct shapes and figures as well. Her hair, especially when it's loose and brushed, has a very visible mirror effect and clearly reflects what's around her. Like a traditional mirror, these attributes can appear vaguely silver-toned on their own, but more often pick up the colors and features of their surroundings.

🧜‍♂️ If your OC could choose to be a nonhuman character, what do you think they would choose? If they are a nonhuman character, would they choose to be human or another sort of nonhuman character?

Terra: Hm... I think she'd want to be some sort of fairy or brownie - something delicate and gentle, but also something that could fly away from her troubles or slip into the air vents to gather gossip.

Madison: She'd want to be the Loch Ness Monster XD Life in the water? Alone and undisturbed, probably just a myth? That sounds like a dream to her!

🧿 Whether you actually get there or not, what are your hopes for your OC's future?

Terra: At this point, I honestly don't know! It depends partly on what Act 3 gives us, since I need to get the full story before I can determine where Terra fits into it long-term. Plus, like I said before, she was a fairly unexpected OC for me, I created her without a concrete plan or story in mind, so I'm still trying to sort out what she's all about.

Madison: From a storytelling perspective, I have two sequels to Smoke and Mirrors planned out (one set during Alex's deployment in DOFP, then a shorter piece around the time of X-Men: Apocalypse), and of course I'm always open to writing new pieces as they come. From a character perspective, I see her continuing to settle back into domestic life, getting a place with Alex, and eventually starting a small woodworking business.

[awoowoof]

1. I'm honestly not sure, i relate to both.

2. i dabbled in the Therian community several years ago, but i quickly lost interest. i didn't relate to anyone and it felt like they were just playing at it. I've somewhat recently learned the term "kin for fun" and i suspect i stumbled into 1 of those areas of the internet by accident.

I've just been doing my own thing with it in the meantime. i was brought back to the general community by Tumblr, actually. i follow a blog that's unrelated to this and they reblogged the comic that's floating around about species dysphoria. it really struck something in me and i fell down a rabbit hole of nonhuman/alterhuman blogs. made me want to give it a try again.

3. uuuuuhhhhh... gear... i have a tail that a friend bought me. real fur fox tail. i probably should throw it out, tho. it's been in a mold-infested area for years now.

I'd honestly prefer to just make a yarn tail as close to my colors as possible. i found some yarn that's similar, but I'm chronically broke af and can't afford it. I'm not sure if it would even look how i want it to.

i did have a collar in highschool, but it was for cats, lol. it was pink with a little pink bell i took off. it looked horrendous because i attacked it with a sharpie, so it was all splotchy and bleh. I'm not a fan of pink or how narrow it was, but it's what i had. that was actually before i heard about Therians, much less alterhumans.

i have my eyes set on this suuuuuuper cheap black collar (like... $2) that I'll probably get at some point. add a dog tag to it that i can unclip and wear subtly when I'm out and about.

(edit: i had an opportunity and nabbed the collar! :D now I'm eyeing tags)

4. I've been like this for as long as i can remember. as far as the term, I've known about it for like... 2 months or so at this point? i identify more closely with nonhuman, tho. it just clicked with me when i first heard it. i consider "alterhuman" a more secondary term for myself.

5. i like watching and reading things with werewolves. the easiest way to get me to try something is to tell me there's werewolves, lmao. i really like jerky and things i can tear apart with my teeth.

I'm a quadrupedal werewolf, so i started doing quads when i was fairly young. i had no idea it was something already around, i just mimicked wolves. i had to stop for a while, tho, it was too stressful on my wrists. i picked it up again recently, just doing walks when i go to get something and such.

i tend to be fairly subtle with what i show to others, but i am absolutely living for some of the suggestions I've seen recently. I'd love to try some sometime

6. yes, holy shit. my teeth are such an important aspect to me and i had so many issues with brushing my teeth growing up (I've since figured out a work-around!) so i just... all the cavities. which means that every time they fix a tooth i have an entirely new distaste for how my mouth feels T^T they don't seem to care how it's shaped, just that there isn't a cavity anymore. my teeth are probably my largest source of (nonhuman) dysphoria.

lately, tho, I've been having some with my legs. they're far too long. I'm a quadruped, dag nabbit! how am i supposed to walk like this??? but it's not so bad unless I'm in a shift-y mood, since I'm also "human" shaped at times.

teeth are always, tho... always. it's so frustrating. those are my main 2, sometimes other things pop up and i view my trans-ness and alterhumanity as being fairly close/similar/linked, so they tend to blend together.

7. nah. closest i can think of is like... i can feel very puppy-like. but name and gender and all that... it's the same afaik

8. I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure what pet regression even is

9. I'm just werewolf, afaik. i can act very different at any given time, but afaik they're all just different expressions of my werewolf type. I'm still trying to sus out what exactly that is, tho

10. yes. I'm still learning about what all the different types of shifting are and all that, but at the very least, i feel my ("wolf") body aspects at times and i can sink really into the instinctual mindset or moods. sometimes i don't want to talk, just ~express~ things like it feels natural

11. just werewolf

12. I'm honestly not sure how the collar fits into things, but I'm surprised that I've never seen werewolves with dog collars in anything I've seen or read. seems like an excellent way of keeping track of packmates that get nabbed by Animal Control. even something as simple as military style dog tags on a chain could get you out of the pound and back with your pack, so I'm not sure why nobody's thought of it. just wear it under your shirt so that if you have a spontaneous transformation, it's ready to go

Kyr's alterhuman ask game!

🌲 - are you a wild or domestic animal? 🌺 - How did you find out you were alterhuman? 👑 - do you own any gear? If so, what is it? 🌥️ - how long have you identified as alterhuman? 🍂 - what are some of your favorite alterhuman-related activities? 💫 - do you experience species dysphoria? 🕊️ - does your kintype/theriotype go by a separate or different identity? (i.e. different name, age, gender, etc) 🧸 - do you experience pet regression? 🦋 - what are all your kintypes/theriotypes? 🍃 - do you shift? 👼 - Do you identify as/with other non-human creatures that aren't animals? ☄️ - other random therian/otherkin stuff!

[elysiadjarin]

Day 2: Breeding Kink

Day 2 of Kinktober and… I got carried away with this one. The others are not going to be nearly as long as this one, so you guys are gonna be spoiled with this. I hope you enjoy it! Find my Kinktober Masterlist here.

Warnings: Minors DNI, this is 18+ only content. Some warnings for violence and blood mentioned, though nothing too graphic. PinV sex, unprotected, consensual, nonhuman character, exophilia, slight hint of biting kink

Tags: Dilf!werewolf x reader, exophilia, kinktober

Moonlight Through Colored Leaves

When you’d first moved to the tiny Irish town in the middle of nowhere, you’d originally hoped to escape the family drama that haunted you back in America. Thanks to your grandfather’s Irish immigration, you’d been able to get an Irish citizenship and move relatively easily. So, you’d packed your bags, only told your grandfather where you were going, and boarded the first flight to Ireland you could catch.

You’d quietly made your way to your grandfather’s tiny hometown far out in the countryside, and moved into the long-since abandoned house that had belonged to your ancestors before. Though it had been run down and you’d had to do some major repairs and cleaning, you’d finally made a cozy cottage on the outskirts of the small village-like town.

The town had been quite welcoming and friendly, and you’d quickly found a job working at the local town pub as a waitress. Your boss had been very welcoming, and you’d earned favor from your coworkers and boss for your hard work and quiet, unassuming diligence. The pay was good, and you found yourself growing comfortable in the sleepy town life, meeting your neighbors and getting familiar with the town dynamics.

You’d just gone in for your shift of the day when conversation caught your ear. You put on your waitress apron, pulling your hair up into a ponytail and walking out to the bar to grab your tray.

“Did you hear about the news?” Jaina asked, arms propped on the countertop. “I mean, about that Romanian vamp that landed on Scotland the other day. Word is that he’s headed this way.”

“Well why would it want teh come here?” Sean snorted. “We’re out in teh middle o’ nowhere, Janie, t’ere ain’t not’in’ here t’at it would want.”

“Well didn’t you hear that apparently they’re expecting Agent Blue to be chasing it down with the Dullahan?” Jaina hissed. “Why wouldn’t they come over here?”

You hid your discreet grimace, instead walking out in front of the bar. To your delight and surprise, you found yourself facing a familiar little figure sitting at the bar in a corner. The little girl caught sight of you and squealed, waving.

You went over to her giving her a hug. “Well hello there, Miss Morrigan,” you greeted cheerfully. “How are you this fine evening? Having a drink?” you teased, noticing the glass of juice near her notebook.

She giggled, nodding. “Yeah! I’m with Daddy today,” she answered, feet kicking against the bar. She turned her head to see the bartender approaching. “Daddy!” she said excitedly. “Look, it’s the nice neighbor lady I told you about!”

You looked up to see Lysander Sullivan standing there, polishing a glass with a cloth. He gazed down at his daughter with a fond look deep in his eyes, then turned to look at you, his ice blue eyes meeting yours.

“Is that so?” he asked, his deep voice a low rumble in the relatively quiet bar. It hadn’t gotten to heavy traffic times, so there weren’t many people around yet. His grey-flecked hair had been swept back into an elastic band, and his beard had been neatly trimmed.

You gave him a small, shy smile, a little embarrassed. Though you knew that the man lived next to your property, you’d been a bit timid about approaching him. He was a kind enough gentleman from everything you’d seen and heard, and he’d watched out for you as you worked, but you didn’t see any reason why he’d be interested in any further contact with you. After all, you were a younger woman in your mid-twenties that lived alone.

“Yeah! She helps me with homework sometimes,” Morrigan prattled on, “and she lets me water her flowers!”

You laughed a little, feeling the color splash across your cheeks. “Well, I certainly enjoy the little Queen’s company,” you admitted. You’d heard some of the other workers gossip about Lysander, saying that he was a single father to nine-year-old Morrigan and that her mother had died in a tragic accident. You didn’t really know, and you’d tried not to pry or overhear too much. The man had a right to privacy, just like you had things you were running from as well.

“Thank you for looking out for the little cub,” Lysander said, a small smile crossing his face. He mellowed out around his daughter, his love clear in how he interacted with her.

“Of course. It’s a delight,” you said, smiling at Morrigan. “She’s a smart little cookie, aren’t you, Queenie?” you asked, tugging at her pigtail teasingly.

She giggled. “Yeah!” Then she tilted her head at you. “Are you working with Daddy tonight?” she asked curiously.

“O-oh, well, sort of,” you stammered, taken aback a little. “He works behind the counter, but I serve people out there,” you said, motioning to the tables. “So I guess we do, in a way.”

Morrigan nodded sagely. “Ohhh, so you do the food and Daddy does the drinks.” She nodded, satisfied at her conclusion. “Oh, I’m making a drawing! I want you to see it later, when I’m finished,” she said, tugging at your sleeve.

You smiled. “Of course, Queenie. You just let me know and I’ll pop by when I have a moment, alright?” you promised.

She nodded, turning back to her notebook and picking up her crayons again. Tongue poked out, she diligently returned to her masterpiece. You gave her a fond smile, noting the way the soft lights made a halo in her blonde hair.

“She’s such an angel,” you murmured, grabbing some straws from the bar to stick into your pocket.

“Aye, that she is.” Lysander’s comment almost startled you. He glanced at you across the bar, the sleeves of his crisp maroon button-up rolled halfway up his arms. “I apologize for not bein’ a better neighbor,” he remarked.

You blinked, then reached up to brush a piece of hair behind your ear. “Oh, no— not at all,” you blurted, then gave him a chagrined smile. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’d met Morrigan when she was coming back from school, since I was in the front yard. She just… hopped on over, so I said hi. Honestly I should have introduced myself better, but…” You bit your lip. “I just kept putting it off because I didn’t want to bother you…”

He blinked, then chuckled slightly, as though surprised. “An’ here I thought it was ‘cause you didn’t really like me for some reason,” he said, amusement laced in his tone.

You gave him a horrified look. “Oh! Not at all!” You shook your head with a sigh, tugging mournfully at your ponytail. “I’m… notoriously bad at meeting people for the first time,” you groaned. “I just get nervous and tongue tied and I don’t know how to interact and… ugh.” You winced. “I am sorry, Mr. Sullivan. I should be a better neighbor, especially since I somehow got to know your daughter.” You half-laughed at yourself.

He waved you off. “I’m just glad you get along with Mor,” he chuckled. “She speaks endlessly about you. Seems like you’ve impressed her.”

You looked up at him, genuinely surprised. “Really?” you wondered, glancing at the girl. Then you smiled. “Well, I’m flattered. She’s such a smart, curious girl. I’m rather honored that she’d find me interesting.” You breathed a laugh, then glanced up at him. “I should get to my station, but… if you don’t mind, would it be alright if I swung by tomorrow to say hi and properly introduce myself?”

He nodded calmly. “Of course. She gets back home from school at three, if you wanted to catch her as well.”

You nodded, propping the tray on your hip. “Thank you! I’ll do that. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll stop procrastinating and actually start working,” you laughed, and walked off with a wave.

The night progressed relatively smoothly, customers rotating in and out with regulars stopping by. The crowds ebbed and flowed, sometimes more rowdy and sometimes more calm. Still, you enjoyed the atmosphere and the liveliness of it all. Despite it being a pub, and an Irish one at that, the town was small and most people knew everyone else. Plus, Lysander was the bartender for more than one reason. Everyone knew that making trouble of any sort was not tolerated and had force to back it up.

You occasionally popped by Morrigan’s place at the bar, either to have a chat or to admire the progress she’d made on her drawing. And throughout the night, your worries started to mount the more gossip you heard around the pub. Some of them had heard confirmation that the Romanian vampire gone mad was making a beeline for Ireland, though no one seemed to know why. There were even more rumors that Agent Blue, the famous Will-o-the-Wisp, was after the rampaging Pricoli. And still others said that the Scott Pack would be making a reappearance.

Once you’d finished your shift and helped close up shop, you started the trudge back to your cottage down the road. It wasn’t a far walk, really, and it gave you some time to think and clear your head from the smells of the pub. Reaching up, you pulled your hair free from the ponytail and sighed, shoulders slumping.

You’d come to Ireland to escape your problems, but it felt like they were all closing in on you as the days went by. As you got home and got ready for bed, you wondered if it was asking too much to hope for some peace.

Instead, you distracted yourself by trying to think of something to make for the Sullivans the next day. You didn’t want to go empty handed, after all. Maybe some bread-?

You fell asleep thinking about it.

~

You’d just lifted your hand to knock when the door flung open. Morrigan practically tackled you, wrapping her arms around your waist with a shriek of greeting.

Laughing, you balanced yourself and wrapped an arm around her. “Well hello, Queenie,” you greeted. “It’s wonderful to see you.”

She grabbed your hand and dragged you in, chattering happily about her day at school. “Oh, and you should have heard how everyone laughed!” She interrupted herself as she led you into the kitchen. “Daddy, she’s here!” she called.

Trying to balance the homemade sourdough in one hand while still holding Morrigan’s with the other, you looked up to give Lysander a helpless smile. “Hello, Mr. Sullivan,” you greeted, a little breathlessly.

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up in amusement. “Well hallo, Miss,” he greeted back, wiping his hands with a towel. “Mor, why don’t you let her set the plate down before anything drops,” he said, shaking his head.

Morrigan let go of your hand, bouncing up and down. “Ooh, what is it?”

You offered it to Lysander, a little flustered. “I… well, I didn’t really want to come without an offering, so… I made some homemade sourdough,” you offered, a little awkwardly. “I hope you like it, it’s a fresh batch, still warm.”

He took it from you with a nod. “Thank you. We love sourdough, don’t we, Mor?” He seemed far more comfortable in his own home, less stoic and stern than in the pub.

Morrigan nodded, throwing up her hands with a cheer. “Yeah!” She danced around. “I love bread!” Then she grabbed your hand again. “Oh, oh, you gotta come see my room! Daddy just made me a new desk, and it’s really nice and shiny!”

Lysander waved you off as you turned to him. “Go ahead. Oh, I was going to invite you to dinner,” he added. “If you’d like. The food is almost done, actually. Your bread will be a perfect addition.”

You smiled. “I’d be honored. Thank you.” Then you let Morrigan drag you away.

By the time Lysander called for you both, you’d been given the official tour of her room and had happily listened to her tell stories of what she’d done at school and the projects she planned to do in the coming days. The little girl always cheered you up with her bright and cheerful presence. If anything, it eased your heart to see the little girl clearly so healthy and happy with her Father. She openly adored him, quite the Daddy’s girl.

As the three of you sat down at the table, you realized with a slight start that you’d never felt so comfortable in Ireland as you did in this moment. It felt… right, like you’d finally come home.

“Thank you for the food,” you said, giving Lysander a grateful smile. “It looks amazing.” The soup simmered in the bowls, while the sourdough bread had been cut into slices and set by the butter.

He nodded. “Thank you for the bread.” He passed the steamed potatoes, and everyone dug into the meal.

You let out a soft hum of contentment as you ate, enjoying the rich flavors and the homey comfort food. Clearly Lysander was a good cook, and you almost envied Morrigan for being able to come home to this every night. Not that you weren’t a good cook yourself, but you supposed company really did make a difference.

“The bread is so good!” Morrigan chirped, taking a giant bite of the bread slathered in butter.

You laughed softly. “I’m glad, Queenie. Take it slow,” you warned, worried she’d choke. “The bread isn’t going anywhere.”

She nodded, scarfing down her food. “Oh, oh, Daddy, cartoons are on soon! Can I please go watch? I did all my homework!”

Lysander nodded. “Alright. Go take your dishes to the sink.”

“Thank you! Morrigan cheered, sliding down from her chair and carefully taking the dishes. She trotted to the kitchen, then got herself a glass of juice and went to go to the living room.

You realized with a slight start that this was the first time you’d been alone with Lysander. Looking down at your spoonful, you wondered if you should maybe ask him the questions that pressed on your mind. Perhaps he would know. Then again… it’s not as though he were related to your grandfather’s clan… and not to mention, most of the people in the town didn’t even know that you were aware of the nonhuman community. In fact, you were rather positive that your coworkers thought you didn’t.

“If I may ask, what brought you to this small town?” Lysander asked, his voice calm and mellow. His blue eyes glanced up at you, and the question died on your tongue.

“Oh… family history, actually,” you admitted with a smile. “And, well…” You shrugged lightly. “I needed to get away for a while. I wanted a fresh start, somewhere where people didn’t really know me.”

“Understandable.” He nodded. “I essentially did the same with Morrigan when we moved here a few years ago.”

You hummed, reaching for a piece of bread. He handed you the butter, and you gently grasped the sleeve of his flannel for a moment. “You’ve got a bit on your clothes,” you said, wiping the smeared butter off with a napkin. You’d just let go when your fingers brushed across his briefly as you took the butter. You didn’t notice the way he froze, his movements jerky as he pulled his hand back.

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “Do you— I mean, does any of your family still live here?”

You shook your head. “Not exactly. But technically, my extended family is here. My grandfather immigrated from Ireland to America, where I was born, but through marriage there are still people here I’m technically connected to.” You shrugged. “I haven’t really gotten in contact with them, though. They probably don’t know me that well,” you laughed with a rueful shrug. You glanced at him for a moment. “I bet it’s even harder when you have children.”

He glanced toward the living room, where the faint sound of the cartoons floated through the house. “Well, I suppose,” he admitted thoughtfully. “Still, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. She’s my life, really.”

You lowered your eyes to your plate, unable to deny how your chest tightened at the way his voice softened when he spoke of his daughter. You’d always tried to forget how much you’d been attracted to the older man. You’d only ever dated once, and while he’d been nice enough and it had ended cordially, you still hadn’t been able to forget the lingering feeling of disappointment you’d had from the experience. You’d known, after that, that it would either be a long time before you ever tried dating again or it would have to be to someone whose maturity at least matched yours. And, unfortunately for you, that tended to mostly apply to men past their forties.

You really did try to forget how Lysander ticked all the boxes.

“I can see why.” You smiled. “She’s really precious.” Your eyes slid toward the living room. “Does she… inherit from you?”

Lysander looked up, his gaze suddenly piercing as he stared at you openly.

You gave him a faint smile. “I don’t talk much about it, but my grandfather comes from the local O’Connor Faoladh Tribe,” you said calmly, taking another sip of the soup.

His shoulders relaxed, the hard edge in his expression melting away. “Ah. Yes, she does. But she hasn’t fully shifted yet. It will be another year, we think. Are you-?”

You shook your head. “Oh, no. It’s funny, really,” you said thoughtfully, motioning with your spoon. “My grandfather is Faoladh, and my mother’s side of the family is a lycanthrope pack.” Your lips twitched. “And somehow, I got the recessive genes and ended up a simple Seer.”

His eyebrow raised. “Not so simple, I’d think,” he remarked. “Aren’t Seers rather uncommon now?”

You shrugged. “For a reason. There’s plenty of potential but not many who actively practice anymore. The price is heavy for knowledge like that.”

He gave you a discerning look. “Is that what you’re running from?”

Your silver spoon clinked softly as you set it down on the edge of the plate. “I suppose you could say that,” you murmured. Your eyes closed as you shoved away the memories of distant screaming, the crackle of fire, crimson splashed across stone floors— “Or maybe toward something.” After all, you mused, there had been a reason you’d felt drawn to your grandfather’s homeland, and town in particular. And of course, you’d never been one to fight Fate too hard.

“Perhaps so,” he conceded. Then he stood. “May I take your plate?”

“Oh— please, let me help.” You stood, taking your dishes and starting towards the kitchen. “At least let me wash or dry.”

When you finally got back home, you sat down on the couch and buried your face into your hands. Seeing Morrigan and Lysander together had stirred up old memories you’d long since tried to forget. Old desires that you’d thought you’d given up on: hopes and dreams of a family to call your own.

You crawled into bed, everything inside you aching. After all, what could a Seer with a cursed fate possibly offer anyone?

~

The night the Dullahan rode into town, you’d just started closing up the pub on night shift duty.

They’d ridden in, followed by the famous Agent Blue clad in his dark robes and carrying his lantern over his shoulder. He strode in the door, followed by the Dullahan. At first, you hadn’t even noticed the other figure trailing behind them.

Your Boss, Dorian, had walked out of the back room to greet them. He, of everyone in the town, was the only one to know of your heritage, as the elected leader of the supernatural community in the town. He nodded to the group as they entered.

“Welcome, Dullahan, Agent Blue.” He nodded at them, shaking the Will-o-the-Wisp’s hand.

“Greetings in return, Chief Dorian,” Agent Blue replied, his face still covered by the hood. “Apologies for the intrusion. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Pricoli that’s been running amok all over the Isles.”

Dorian nodded. “We certainly have. I assume you’ve come on a hunt.”

“We have. And I’ve brought someone with me.” Agent Blue turned, motioning towards the back of the group.

You’d been distracted, still working on trying to finish clearing up and getting out of the way. If your boss had asked, you were ready to offer to serve the new guests as well, giving Lysander a glance that he returned with a small nod.

It wasn’t until you straightened and turned around, finished, that you heard a familiar, startled voice call your name. Turning, you looked up and saw, to your shock, a very familiar face staring at you. You froze as the figure lunged forward, wrapping you in a tight hug. After a moment, you awkwardly hugged him back, mind whirling.

“What are you doing here?” Your younger brother stared at you incredulously, holding your arms. “I didn’t even know you left home! Last I heard you were still there.”

You grasped his sleeves, disoriented. “O-Oh. Ray,” you gasped, processing. “I—“ You suppressed a flinch. “I just… moved into grandfather’s old cottage,” you stammered, then looked down. “I had to get away,” you said quietly. “It was too much.”

Of all your family, you knew that Ray would best understand. He’d been the only one to really stand up for you back home, try to support you as best as he could, being a younger sibling. When everyone else constantly reminded you of your Fate, your Destiny, Ray had been the only one who had encouraged your personal hopes and dreams, had listened to your fears and worries.

He sighed. “I mean, I can’t blame you,” he said, shaking his head. “Still… does anyone know?”

You scoffed slightly, turning your head away. “Only Grandfather ever cared about me besides you, Ray. There’s no one else who probably even asked.” You shrugged. “How is school?” You’d been the one to support him when he decided to move to Scotland to attend University. He, too, had wanted to escape home.

He grinned. “Pretty great, actually!” Then he glanced behind him. “Turns out my best mate is actually one of Agent Blue’s sons, so when the whole Pricoli thing went down, I offered to be his in to the Faoladh Tribe here. For formality, y’know.” He shrugged. “I remembered what Grandfather had always taught us about how picky Faoladh are about tradition.”

You nodded. “Yeah…” You huffed slightly. “Technically only the people in here right now even know that I’m a part of the supernatural community,” you said dryly.

He raised an eyebrow. “That’s some dedication to keep it quiet. How has the local gossip train not found you out yet?”

You snorted. “Maybe because I’ve always been quiet and kept my mouth shut.” You rolled your eyes at him, though a smile twitched on your lips. “And we both know who never can.”

He playfully cuffed your shoulder. Then he grinned. “Oh, but guess what?” His eyes sparkled. “I found my Mate!”

Your eyes widened. “Really?” Your heart lightened for him, happy that your younger brother had finally found his Mate. “Does she know yet?”

He shook his head, face falling a little. Well, not yet. I mean, I’ve kinda only just met her and all, so… and it’s kinda awkward, cause…” He winced. “Well, she’s my best mate’s younger sister.”

You gave him an incredulous look, then sighed, shaking your head. “Well, good luck with that one, Ray,” you snorted. “You’ve gotten yourself into quite the situation with that one.”

He shrugged. “I know, but…” His grin turned goofy. “She’s so pretty. You should see her. She’s even pretty sassy, kinda like you are with me.”

You laughed softly, patting his arm. “Well, I’m glad I was able to catch up with you. If you need a place to stay, you know my house is always open to you.”

He nodded. “Thanks, sis. I should probably head back. I don’t know what else they might want me for.” He paused, then gave you an odd look. “Have you… found anyone?”

You blinked at him, startled. “What? Ray, you know what my Fate says.” You frowned.

An odd expression crossed his face, then he shook his head. “Yeah, I know. Just… don’t forget the promise you made me.”

You sighed. “I won’t, Ray.” As if you ever could, you thought with a hint of bitterness. He wouldn’t let you.

He squeezed your hand, slipping a piece of paper into your grasp. “Text me. I wanna keep in touch.”

You nodded, pocketing the note. “Thanks. Good luck, Ray. Stay safe.”

He nodded, then jogged back to Agent Blue with a wave. You were left to stand there, your heart sinking with every step he took away from you. Everything was lining up far too well. Though you’d vainly hoped to escape from the Fate that had hung over your head for so long, it seemed as though you’d just walked right into it instead.

Turning back to the bar, you quietly packed up your things. Bidding Lysander goodnight, you checked to make sure Dorian didn’t need you and headed back for home.

It was only a matter of time.

~

Rain splattered against the ground, heavy and thick like a curtain. Shielding your eyes from the drops, you pushed yourself to run, faster, as fast as you could. There was no time left to think.

The vision you’d had kneeling under the large Fae Maypole tree you’d found in the forest nearby kept flashing through your mind, insistent and horrific. Your Fate loomed, past and future meshing into the present in ways you could hardly stand. You’d thought you’d been running, cowardly but maybe safe from the Sword of Damocles—but now here you were, fallen headlong into the trap of the Fate you’d known since childhood would claim your life.

And yet your feet would not stop running, pushing you forward without hesitation. Was this not worth it? Was this Fate—this Fate that you’d feared for so long, hated and loathed and tried in futility to escape—was it truly so horrendous? Now that you were here? In this moment of truth?

You barreled up the steps, slamming your shoulder against the door without a pause. It broke, sending you headlong across the threshold to skid across the carpet. Ignoring the burn on your arm, you looked up as you heard a scream. Morrigan’s face stared at you, sheet white as she curled up in fear by the foot of the couch.

Jacking yourself up, you didn’t take time to glance behind you. “Mor, into the safe room,” you gasped, “your Daddy sent me, okay? I need you to get in the safe room, now.”

She nodded shakily, bravely scrambling to her feet and running towards the safe room that Lysander had made for her. Nothing would get through the doors, you knew, once they locked. You waited until you heard the lock click, then turned and scrambled back out the busted door.

In the empty area between your houses, out on the outskirts of the town, everything seemed oddly distant yet crystal clear. Your memories nudged at you, whispering about the deja vu that filled your every pore at the sight of the green, rolling grass and the relentless rain that poured over everything. In the distance, the red glare of a fire fueled by gas and undaunted by rain began to dominate the color of the sky.

It didn’t surprise you when cold fingers wrapped around your throat, leaving mottled bruises to bloom against your skin. You stood still, knowing that any movement might crush your throat. You may have been Fated to die, but not until you’d finished your task.

The enraged Pricoli snarled, hissing in your ear. “I know he sent you to hide her,” he sneered. “You helpless, pitiful Seer. For all your preeminence, did you not find a way to best me?” he barked a laugh, maniacal and loud. “You useless Seers and your cursed fates—and for what? A single moment of ruined glory?”

Your breath shallowed, airflow restricted. Agent Blue, several Dullahan, your brother, Dorian, and Lysander all emerged from the tree line, pausing as they saw you being held hostage. You closed your eyes for a moment as the icy hands constricted around your throat even further.

“Tell me where she is, and you get to live, Seer,” he snarled, his face nearing your ear. “She is my perfect match, my BloodSong. She is fated to be mine, my apprentice!” he howled. “Give her to me, my right!” His nails started to lengthen, turning into claws, digging against your skin. “Or I’ll drink you dry first and use you as fuel to take these maggots down.”

You brother’s face had gone ashen in horror, staring at you as though trying to deny his own eyes. His face twisted in despair.

“I’ll never give her up to you,” you answered, aware that everyone could hear you despite the rain. You tilted your head up, letting the rain wash over your face. “I am a Seer,” you declared, loudly, proud of it for the first time in your life. “And I embrace the Curse of my Fate. I pay the price gladly, if it means the power to make sure you never lay a finger on her.”

The Pricoli snarled, the rage almost audibly warping his voice into something demonic. “Then meet your Fate, Seer.”

Your knees gave out the moment his fangs ripped into your jugular. Strangely enough, the pain wasn’t even that bad, you mused hazily. Your eyes—were they blurred by tears or the rain?—rolled up to see your brother, mouth open as he reached for you. Even Lysander, white fur matted and soaked, had his maw open as his snout pointed to the sky.

Distantly, you could hear screaming. A roar, loud, tumbling through your chest, rattling into the ground. The crackling of fire. Everything started to get.. so… cold. Vaguely, as the hand shoved you forward and you landed against the ground, you could see out of the corner of your eye the Pricoli hunch forward. Despite the pain, the numbness… your lips curled in a vindictive smile.

The crimson eyes turned to you, a horrified anger sweeping through them as they landed on your twisted grin. A cold hand went up to his throat, and the Pricoli started to choke. His body lurched, tongue lolling as he gagged on your blood, his veins starting to light from the inside out with a toxic green. Slowly, agonizingly, he fell to his knees, his face contorted in a paroxysm of agony as he choked on your blood, your concentrated inherent magic tearing him apart from the inside out.

Your limbs felt sluggish as you forced yourself up, your ears ringing. Reaching up, you pressed your hand to your ruined neck and staggered to your feet, starting to lurch away from the destroyed corpse of the Pricoli. Warmth smeared across your skin, and every breath sent needles raking down your throat and into your lungs. Your feet stumbled, and before you realized it, you were leaning against something broad and firm.

Two icy blue eyes stared down at you, claws wrapping around your arms. Strangely enough, though, you didn’t fear that grasp. Lysander’s maw moved, you noticed faintly, but all you could hear was the persistent ringing in your ears. Vaguely, you reached up, your fingers clumsily landing on the side of his snout. Red smeared his fur, and your arm dropped down numbly to your side.

With the last of your strength, you forced your mouth to form the words that your shattered throat couldn’t say. Tell her goodbye.

The world spun into crimson.

~

Shivering, you shook your head as you curled into the corner that you’d pressed yourself into. Tears burned behind your eyes, and you heard your breath start to rasp and wheeze, rattling your throat.

Your brother’s face crumpled as he stared at you. “Please,” he begged, his voice wavering. “You need to drink.”

Agent Blue rested his hand on Ray’s shoulder. “Take it easy, son,” he said, voice firm but compassionate. “She’s understandably frightened. Even though she’s successfully gone through the change to being a damphyr, she’s had quite the scare and probably doesn’t want to feed.”

“But she needs to!” Ray exclaimed, frustration lacing his voice. “She’s already hurting.”

It was driving you insane. The pure power of the Will-o-the-Wisp’s blood was calling to you like a tempting beacon, and your brother’s hot blood practically screamed at you. The thirst flared in your throat, an ache so powerful you wanted to gag. It was like sandpaper. But you didn’t want to feed from them. You didn’t want to risk losing control, didn’t want to didn’t want to didn’t want to—

“I’ll take care of her.” Lysander stepped into the room. He turned to Ray. “She gave her life to save my daughter. This is the least I can do. I promise she’ll be in good hands.”

Your brother paused, then sighed, shoulders slumping. “I know you will, Sir,” he said, defeated. “I just…” He glanced over at you, eyes reflecting his misery.

Lysander reached out, squeezing Ray’s shoulder. “I understand,” he said quietly.

Ray nodded, then approached you again carefully. “Hey.” His voice softened. “I know you probably don’t want me around. But you have my number. Please, just… contact me when you’re ready, ok? You know I’ll be here for you, like I always have been. I’m gonna go back to Scotland, but you know how to reach me if you need anything. I won’t tell any of the family that you’re here.”

Swallowing back the drool, you tentatively reached out and barely ghosted your fingers against his cheek, hoping your eyes would convey your thanks. You just… needed space. Away from him, to control yourself, get yourself together.

But his expression turned a little more hopeful, and he nodded. “Love you, sis,” he said quietly. “Please… live.” With a small smile, he stood and followed Agent Blue out of the room.

With a quiet whine, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to push past the unbearable, insistent pain scratching down your throat. Your throat roared for a drink. Your eyes snapped open when you heard Lysander approach. Though you didn’t know why, his presence always sent you into an absolute panic, though not of fear. Your thirst around him seemed to impossibly skyrocket. Like something about him drove you crazy.

He knelt, his blue eyes fixed on yours. He reached out slowly, giving you a chance to move away. Instead, your body froze, entirely fixating on the way his plaid shirtsleeve pulled tight around his arm, rolled up to his elbow. You swallowed thickly, his blood an absolute siren call. You could smell it, practically taste it. Dripping down your throat, into your veins, ambrosia sweet and thick— Drool slipped down the corner of your mouth, past the pressure of fangs against your lips.

Lysander’s eyes strained. “I know what it does to you,” he said quietly. “Just the fact that you’re not lunging for me right now is…” He sighed, his other hand raking through his hair. “I don’t know if I’m impressed or-“ His lips twisted as he cut himself off, as though conflicted. “There’s a reason why my blood calls to you.” He settled himself in front of you, making you want to scream as both relief and a frenzy of want roared through you.

“Of course, Mor is my daughter,” Lysander said, his voice low as he looked down at the floor between you. “But her Mother was… not my true Mate.” He sighed. “I didn’t really care, because I loved her. But she… well, she left me. Didn’t want Mor, didn’t want… me.” A self-depreciating smile passed across his face. “But it was okay, I had Mor and I only wanted the best for her. But still… somewhere inside me, I knew that my true Mate was out there somewhere.”

You almost couldn’t focus, his proximity almost painful because he was too far, and yet not close enough—

“And then you appeared, and Mor started to love you, and I—“ He sighed, hand reaching up to cover his face. “And I didn’t know if I wanted to run or stay.” His shoulders slumped. “Seeing you with Mor, working with you, talking with you… every moment I spend with you near is like agony, but when you leave it’s like you take a part of me with you and I can’t breathe.”

Abruptly, your mouth went dry, shocked almost clear out of bloodlust. Wait, was he saying-?

“I told myself that you’d be better off without me,” Lysander admitted, voice thick. “I’m… not young any more. You’re beautiful and— and you have so much more promise, a whole life ahead of you… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’d gone for so long without my true Mate, I thought I’d be fine. But when I saw you lying on the ground…” He turned his face away, jaw ticking, a wild, feral light in his eyes. A low snarl rumbled through his chest, dissolving into a whine he quickly cut off.

He looked back up at you. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel… obligated to do anything. But you deserve to know the reason why my blood calls to you so strongly, and why— why I want you to drink from me. Why I don’t mind.”

Your mind whirled. The permission. The heady scent of his blood. The warmth he promised. The realization that he was calling you his true Mate. The way he looked at you, like you were the only thing he’d ever wanted.

Reaching up, you clapped your hand over your mouth with a half-sob of desperation. You wanted it. You practically ached for it, the kindness and love he offered. The promise of a family, a home, someone who had seen you at your worst and still somehow wanted you.

“Please,” Lysander rasped, his eyes laced with that same desperation roiling in his gut. “You don’t even have to accept me as a Mate. But you need to feed, and I—“

You were at your limit. You’d already taxed yourself as a newborn damphyr somehow trying to resist the frenzy of the first feed, and now that your Mate was in front of you, offering freely, practically begging you to feed from him, you could only take so much.

You lunged, a snarl dying on your lips as you lunged forward, the strength of your desperation actually knocking the seasoned werewolf down onto the floor. And still, even as you straddled his waist, your fingers curled around his shoulder, eyes fixed on the tempting expanse of his neck… you still tried to fight. Still tried to fight it, to control yourself.

But Lysander’s broad, warm hands gently wrapped around your waist, not fighting or pushing you off. The scar slashing across the left side of his face seemed to glow in the light streaming through the curtained window, and he gave you a smile.

“It’s okay,” he said, voice low and soothing. “I can handle it. I know you won’t hurt me.”

You shuddered, drool dripping down your fangs. Leaning forward slowly, you tried to keep yourself paced, tried to force yourself to some modicum of control. Mouth opening, you lowered your head until your fangs just barely grazed the crook of his neck and shoulder, not too close to his jugular but just enough.

The moment your fangs sank into his throat, Lysander’s fingers went weak around your waist. A deep groan pooled into the air, and a tremor ran through his body underneath you.

Heat pooled in your stomach, even as his blood slid down your throat with a satisfaction unparalleled. He tasted sweet and dusky, like fresh bread and sunshine, and freshly-cut grass after the rain. The pure heat and warmth he radiated soaked into you, and you felt the bloodlust slowly slake as you drank. Finally, you forced yourself to let go, vaguely aware with your instincts that you’d taken enough to not hurt him but probably still leave him a bit lightheaded for a moment.

The bite wound almost instantly healed over, and his grasp on your waist tightened again, fingers flexing as he regained his bearings.

You leaned your head against his chest, the gratitude and shame warring inside you. Grateful that he’d been so kind, so understanding and gentle. Ashamed of your own arousal, the way your entire being reacted to him.

Your name slipped from his lips, and a moment later his face pressed into your hair. His voice ached with the same torn desire that roiled through you. “I shouldn’t—“ He sucked in a sharp breath as you pressed your body flush against his. You could feel how tight his pants were, could feel the lines of his bulge pressed up against your thigh. A choked groan accompanied the way his hands spasmed around your waist.

“Mate.” The whisper slid from your mouth, the first thing you’d said aloud since your change. Your fingers clenched in his flannel shirt. “Mate… wants me?” Your voice cracked with your fear. Fear that he wouldn’t want to deal with you after all, that you weren’t worth it—

He pulled you closer to him, hand sliding to your hair. “So damn much, sweetheart,” he rasped, cradling your head to his shoulder. “You’re so goddamn beautiful and fierce— I don’t care if you’re human, Seer, damphyr. You’re my true Mate, my love.”

And you buried your face into his shoulder and let yourself shed a few tears of relief. He wanted you. Accepted you, in spite of everything.

“I know it’s not fair to ask you to stay,” his voice strained. “You gave your life for Morrigan, and I’m so much older—“

You reached up, your hands sliding up to cup his jaw as you slanted your lips over his, tears slipping down your cheeks. His mouth opened, kissing you back with a fervor as he splayed his hand over your lower back, pressing you into him. He let out a low growl, the sound rumbling through his chest and straight into your body. Your entire body flushed, and you let out a quiet whimper.

Almost before you could register it, he flipped you over onto the floor, hovering over you. His teeth bared, and he stared down at you with a heat in his eyes that scorched through you. His hands clenched around your waist, pulling your hips flush against his.

You whimpered, tilting your head to the side and exposing your throat to him, sprawled against the floor. Your chest heaved with breath, and a moment later his teeth closed gently on the arch of your neck. A soft breathy moan escaped your lips, eyes fluttering closed as his scent washed over you, his mouth marking your neck, replacing the memory of the Pricoli’s fingerprints mottled against your skin.

With an effort, Lysander wrenched himself away, though he half rutted against you. “Darling, I’m going to need you to tell me if you don’t want this,” he rasped, voice thick and half a snarl already.

“Lysander,” you whispered, lips caressing his name.

His hips stuttered, and he pulled you up against him before heaving himself up and staggering to the bed. He lowered you onto the bed, wasting no time before he practically yanked you to him, his hands hot and greedy. He kissed you, somehow still gentle and yet needy enough to take your breath away.

“May I?” He tapped your shirt.

You nodded shyly, letting him slide it off of you. You lifted your hips in an invitation, and he lowered his mouth to your neck as he slipped your shorts off. He groaned, hands sliding across your bared skin. His skin felt so hot to the touch against your chilled body, wholly satisfying. You practically melted into his hands like putty, malleable to however he touched you, moved you. He made you feel safe. Loved. Cherished. Wanted.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, voice hoarse. “So beautiful, leannen.” The Gaelic spilled naturally from his mouth as he slid his hands under your back, unhooking your bra. You let him slide it off, too desperate for the warmth of his hands to process embarrassment. His hands cupped your breasts, callouses rasping across your nipples in a way that left your breathless and aching.

You whimpered, a little encouraged by the way you felt his bulge throb against you at the sound. Fingers tangling in his shirt, you tilted your head for air, arching into his hands.

“Fuck,” Lysander hissed against your jaw, his hips rolling into you. His hands slid lower, and his thumbs hooked in your underwear. “Can I?”

You nodded, fingers clenching against his shoulders as he slid them off. His shirt was already straining at the seams, threatening to rip. At your tug, he took a moment to reach down and practically rip his shirt off, tossing it uncaringly to the side as he opened his mouth against your neck.

You were already dripping, just his touch and scent enough to arouse you. Breath hissed through his teeth as his fingers dragged through your slick, just barely brushing past your clit. A whine escaped your lips as you shivered, fingers slipping against his chest.

“You smell so good,” Lysander groaned, one finger slipping into you as his thumb rubbed circles around your clit. “Fuck, sweetheart, you’re wet. Can I take care of you?” he rumbled, teeth nipping at your ear. “You already gorged yourself on my blood. How about I fill you up with something else?”

You flushed, fangs sinking into your lower lip. “Please?” you whispered.

His ice blue eyes flashed, and his chest heaved under your hands. “Oh, are we a little desperate?” He smirked, sliding another finger into you, stretching you. “Want me to pull your legs up on my shoulders and keep you here all night?” He chuckled, feeling you pulse around his fingers. “Mmmm, I think your gorgeous body is being pretty honest, sweetheart. Well. I aim to please my Mate.”

You only had a moment to wonder when he’d managed to get his pants off. His fingers slid out of you, only for you to feel his cock rest heavily against your entrance. He slid against you, and you could feel a dribble of precum smear across your skin. One hand went to your waist, holding you, while his other found your clit again.

“Is this alright, sweetheart?” he asked, voice low and suddenly soft. “I’m a bit of a stretch. I’ll try to go slow.”

With how wet you were, you sincerely doubted that he would find much of a problem. Still, you swallowed and nodded, grateful for his care and the way he tried, every step of the way, to make sure you were comfortable. Then again, you could already tell he wasn’t lying about how big he was. You could feel him resting against you, throbbing against your thigh. Slowly, he pressed just the tip into you, his breath shuddering.

Your lips parted in a gasp as he stretched you open, sliding into you. Compared to the chill of your body, his cock practically radiated heat. By the time he completely bottomed out, pelvis flush against yours, you’d already come so close to the edge, drool slipping from the corners of your lips. He seemed to completely fill you, pressing up against every spot inside of you until you swore he’d stretched you into his shape.

Lysander slumped over you, his head tucking into the crook of your neck. His entire body shuddered, and his hands clenched around your waist. His chest heaved against yours, muscles flexing as though he were physically holding himself back.

“Thank you.” The shaky whisper pooled against your skin. “For saving her. Giving your life for her. Thank you. For choosing me.”

Your fingers slid into his salt and pepper hair, relishing the stubble against your neck and shoulder. “I love you.” The confession spilled from your lips, quiet in the room.

He shuddered, letting out a low moan. His fingers clenched, just as he pulled you down further onto his cock, pressing up into you. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he rasped. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Lysander,” you repeated obediently, wholly truthful. Your core clenched around him, and he hissed, pulling out to thrust back into you.

“I love you,” he groaned, starting to thrust in a slow but steady rhythm. He reached down, then pulled your legs up around his hips. The new angle made you pulse as he seemed to reach impossibly deeper into you, angling up justenough to hit that one spot inside you that had you gasping and arching.

“You’re so tight,” he growled, picking up the pace. “Feels so good, sweetheart. So good.”

He suddenly reached behind you and grabbed a pillow, then lifted your hips up to prop it under you. Setting you back down, he shifted himself up and pulled your legs up to his shoulders.

A cry left your lips, utterly wrecked and broken. His cock completely filled you, fucking any semblance of coherence out of you, going so deep you swore you could feel it in your stomach. He seemed to know exactly how to read your body, adjusting to every whimper you let out, not giving you a break as he kept pounding into you with devastating precision.

“You feeling good, sweetheart?” he chuckled, the sound raking down your spine. “Is this what you want?” He thumbed your clit, pressing a kiss to your lips. “You gonna give Mor a little sibling? Taking me so well like this, spread open for me?”

The thought of adding more kids to your life, together with Lysander, proved to be the last straw for your poor mind. You came, stars bursting behind your eyelids as you cried out his name and the wave of heat and pleasure washed through your body.

And Lysander just kept fucking you through it, going harder as he pinned you against the sheets under him, not caring that your fingers raked against his shoulders. He bent to kiss you, murmuring your name in a husky voice that just wrecked you even more. He gave you no mercy, his gaze predatory as he stared down at you, soaking in your ruined expression.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Cum for me,” he murmured, coaxing you through your high.

Even when you rode it out, he didn’t slow down or let up the pace. “You gonna make me cum, darling? Can I cum inside you?”

A plea staggered off of your lips, followed by his name. Your jumbled, blissed-out mind wouldn’t allow you to do anything else, barely recalling your own name.

“Fuck— gonna cum, sweetheart— gonna fill you up—“ He let out a moan before his hips slammed into you one last time. He ground against you as he came, his bruising grip not letting you move an inch away from him.

You melted back into the bed, eyes closing as you soaked in the feeling of his seed filling you, pouring into you. Your fingers slid up the back of his neck as you lay there, docile and welcoming to his every move. Even when he’d finally stopped spilling into you, your stomach full and hot, he slumped against you.

His lips slid across your throat, soft and almost reverent, and he pulled you into his body. He murmured soft endearments into your ear, his hands running over you with gentle, loving strokes, soothing you.

“I promise I’ll do my best to protect you, treat you the way you should be,” he promised. “I love you so much, sweetheart.” Then he chuckled, hand running over your stomach. “I wonder if Morrigan will want a brother or a sister. She’s already going to be so excited to call you Mommy.”

You gave him a shy smile, accepting his soft kiss. “Thank you, Lysander,” you whispered. “I love you.”

Perhaps the price of your Fate had been high, you thought, but it had been entirely worth it.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Wayward Waters Chapter 19

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Hello everyone! Chapter 19!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

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Having gotten Robin, who had taken a hairbrush to his messy locks, we went outside to see Rikaad standing on a Podium in front of the manor.

Considering the podium was stone it had to have been there for quite some time, probably built with the house itself.

There was already a crowd,  a bit more sparse the closer to the front it got, apparently not many people wanted to be near the more nonhuman visitors.

We took one of the more free spots which put me near that Leon guy.

He looked over and bared his teeth, making me take a step back at the snarling grimace.

I probably would take it more personally if he didn't do the same to a human on his other side right now.

Not a fan of people huh? 

Then again if people got too close they might notice the slightly too pointy ears and teeth as well as the unusual eye color.

That was something I could understand, not wanting people to get close and figure out you weren't really human.

So, keeping my distance from the rather hostile young man,  I turned to face Rikaad who had already been talking a bit.

Apparently it was about the future of the island and how if they wanted to live peacefully they couldn't keep shutting out and downright hunting other sentient people just because they weren't human.

That most of the nonhuman people weren't even out for a fight and just wanted to live their lives and do their job, same as everyone else.

And if they had wanted to fight they would already have done so, outnumbering humans on this island by far anyway.

He spoke more words of peace and the like as well as hoping to work together in the future instead of against each other and then finally went to appoint the new Mayor.

It was Marianna, Shalimars mother and Cassidy's Ex wife.

Now I wondered even more what I missed, because apparently Rikaad and Marianna had to have been in contact a few times before already.

And she did spy work on the old mayor to find all those documents and other things to get him to jail.

Rikaad had not looked the least bit surprised as she appeared and handed over the papers.

All of that had to have been carefully planned.

I looked confusedly at Robin who looked just as confused back.

Ah, so neither of us knew then.

Rikaad spoke some more about a few changes,  not all of which were met with applause before finishing the speech and bowing politely in front of all those watching.

I just stared, being King must be exhausting as hell,  and Rikaad wasn't the type to take breaks.

Well, at least he had the nerves to stand in front of a thousand or more people and talk without stuttering once or messing up.

I for sure would rather faint than do that.

But it also reminded me it had been forever since I had actually talked to him, either time or other things getting in the way.

As soon as we got back to Kamerasca and things had calmed down a little i'd go and drag him outside for a bit, fuck knew he needed a break.

Arthur and Robin as well, then maybe we could just hang out for a bit.

Maybe Oakley would come with, and speak about things that made my brain struggle to understand.

I should also probably tell the guy using magic about magic dying, maybe he could keep a better eye on it and tell me when to stop shifting.

“Hey fucker! You were late!”

I jumped as someone tapped at my back, turning around to see Jamie perching on Akeem again.

For something made of heavy stone he was surprisingly quiet.

Jamie wasn't though.

“Well next time inform me sooner, why did they even send you?”

Jamie just shrugged, pointing at Cassidy.

“Was his job but Marianna, uhh, 'Distracted him' ”

I was not gonna ask what that entailed.

“Nevermind then, what now? Do we go back to Kariba island?”

“Ask the bossman, i'm just here to see what stupid stuff Ronan will do”

Ah yeah, of course.

Where was he anyway?

Eh, not my problem.

I gave Jamie a thumbs up and collected Robin to go ask Rikaad what we were doing next.

Rikaad himself was back in the manor, talking to Marianna about easier means of communication than sending letters per ship.

Apparently Marianna wanted to build a post office where flying creatures such as Harpies could work, which however required to make resting stations on the smaller island between here and Kamerasca.

The idea itself wasn't so bad,  though it would probably take some time to do that.

RIkaad still gave the okay if they managed to do it but wasn't expecting it to be ready anytime soon.

After that Marianna left and Rikaad turned to us.

“There you two are, how are you doing?”

Robin whipped up and down where he stood, cheerfully answering.

“I'm good! I still wanna go do a beach day with all of you!  Do you think we can do that before we go home?”

That would be fun, if we could get him to come with us.

“We could ask any of the sailors if they know a good spot! Come on you deserve a break once in a while too”

Rikaad did look thoughtful for a moment.

“Well, since there don't seem to be any problems I don't see why we couldn't do that, how about you two ask someone for a nice place while i wrap things up here?”

YES! Success! A fun day for us and Rikaad finally would take a break!

“Yes! I'm gonna ask Ronan,  he's been around so I'm sure he knows more than one place”

Though for that we had to find him first,  wherever the hell that scatterbrained idiot had gone.

“Oh i saw him with a medic, i think someone punched him”

Why was that not surprising? Probably Shalimars fault.

“Alright thank you Rikaad, well go and look for the medic station”

He nodded and pointed us down the hallway behind him.

Down the rather short hall was indeed a very small medic symbol painted on the door, a staff with two snakes.

I ought to find out what those snakes stood for at some point.

Robin politely knocked on the door and a very old looking man opened it.

“Oh hi doc! Is Ronan here?”

Robin knew the guy? How much did I miss?

“Ahh Robin, welcome! Yes there is a young man by that name here I assume you want to talk to him?”

We both nodded and the old man let us in,  pointing at a window bed where Ronan was staring out of.

I doubted he was supposed to be half kneeling on the bed and sticking his head out like that,  but not like he normally followed any other instructions either.

“Ronan! Hey!”

He startled and hit his head on the top of the window,  cursing something only Jamie could have teached him.

“Ow! Oh hey! Did that weird guy punch you too?”

Weird guy? So not Shalimar?

As he turned around i could see he sported a blue eye.

“Uh what? No? Wait, who punched you?”

He shrugged, hopping off the bed.

“Uhh i think its the guy your friends picked up at some point? 

Something with L”

“You mean Leon? Yeah he didn't exactly make a friendly first impression, or second, or third”

Or any impression really.

“Yeah that guy, I just asked if he had any Elven ancestry and WHAM!  I got a blue eye and no answers! Fucking rude”

Maybe he shouldn't go around asking people such things.

“I guess, though a stranger asking that probably isn't something he likes”

“Oh, yeah, I guess, hey what did you want me for?”

Oh right, the reason we came here for.

“We wanted to ask if you knew a nice spot for a beach day? 

Preferably one with no danger”

“Oh sure! I know plenty! There are a few nice ones around Kariba I could show you! there's this one pretty small island that's half sand and half dirt with a few trees and boulders! You could span a hammock! 

And it's got lots of shells, though there are some hermit crabs but they won't bother you, just check the shells you pick up for any inhabitants!”

That did sound nice, and if it really wasn't far from Kariba island then we'd probably go there.

“Sounds good! I'll tell Rikaad about it when I can! Oh also i don't think we are staying here for much longer so maybe get your stuff ready” “Will do! This place is kinda boring anyway, the houses all look so similar to each other and the people here aren't exactly friendly” 

That they weren't, and at this point I was not expecting them to be.

“Yeah, sometimes people suck, but were leaving anyway”

Ronan nodded and then was called over by the old man again, The medic wanted to check his eye again to make sure the punch hadn't damaged it.

I grabbed Robin and left the man to his job,  still questioning how Robin knew him.

“Hey where did that medic know you from? He knew your name before any of us said anything”

“Oh he's the doc of the Victory Rose! 

Though I have no idea what he's doing here,  Maybe he came with us on the Call Of The Damned? I mean the Victory Rose is currently being repaired, also he gave a first aid course”

He did? Well if he managed to explain things to the scatterbrained Ginger that was great.

“Really? What did you learn? 

And what poor soul had to be a test subject?”

He laughed, telling over the next hour what he had learned, which apparently was mainly how to get a fish hook out of a finger or leg and some other basic stuff as well as how to reset a dislocated arm.

Huh, he learned quite a bit, and of his own volition no less! Impressive!

“That Impressive! 

Next time I faceplant to the ground I can just ask you to help!”

He laughed at that.

“Ha! I'm still not as good as an actual medic! But I know how to clean scrapes at least!

But, uhm, i only really did that so i wouldn't have to sit around alone with my own brain, i mean, you fell overboard and i just wanted to do something that took more of my attention than that”

He had started fiddling with his nails.

“Don't worry, at least you did something useful! All I was good for was serving as entertainment for Imugi! And I guess Jamie too.

One time I got stuck on the mast because they don't have a ladder there and Jamie told me if I managed to get up I'd get a prize,  they had to help me get back down, the NEXT day!”

That had been chaotic, not that I remembered most of it.

“No way! Wait what Prize? What did you get?”

Ohh right! The prize was in the little bag Jamie had given me, which was still on the Halcyon!

“Oh I forgot it on the ship! Good thing we are going back to Kariba later! I'll show you then yeah? It's a little fossil of a sea star”

“A fossil? Cool! At least you can't lose it while it's there!”

“Yeah and it can't break either, but remind me to grab it, i don't think anyone would go back to an entire island just because i forgot something”

Though I could probably send a letter and ask them to send it to Kamerasca.

The rest of the day went pretty boring, people put more Crates on the Call Of The Damned and a few were taken off and sometime late afternoon a headcount was done and everyone shooed onto the ship.

Looking around I saw that Ronan, Akeem and Jamie were all accounted for, Robin was already back in the cabin somewhere to set up his stuff, not that either of us had much.

I decided to walk over the deck once more before we left,  looking at the island from the ship.

It really did look as Ronan had said,  The houses were pretty similar and everything looked way too neat, every detail of this place clearly planned out.

No wonder considering it had all been built around the same time.

Even Kamerasca itself had more charm than this artificially looking place.

I silently wished Marianna the best of luck with that.

Speaking of, she was down at the pier and talking to Shalimar,  giving her something that looked like a whip.

That would not go well,  either she'd manage to tie it into a horrible knot or end up taking someone's eye out if her acrobatic skills were any indication.

Well, better keep away for a bit till she was okay at using that weapon.

The ride back on the Call Of The Damned was uneventful,  aside from Imugi showing up and whistling at Ronan for attention.

Jamie tossed him overboard, stating that since he had that bracelet now he could swim the rest of the way back with Imugi.

I wasn't about to argue with that, besides they were right about the swimming part, and if anything happened Imugi was there at least.

And he actually did swim all the way back,  shifting to human size overnight and letting Imugi carry him before shifting to the water creature the next day again.

He probably did that out of spite now.

Though as soon as we got back to Kariba he crashed onto shore and fell asleep as he was.

No wonder there really, the beach day seemed to have to wait a bit.

In the meantime I decided to try and help out rebuilding the Halcyon to the best of my ability, which mainly involved carrying heavy stuff with Akeem and holding things steady while they fixed it in place.

At some point the resident medic, Grace,  came over to see if anyone had hit their finger with a hammer yet.

Pretty sure that was mainly meant for Ronan,  who had dropped one a few times already.

Grace also did comment on my muscle density, stating that for the size they were they were nearly double as strong as average.

Well, that was something? 

Did it have anything to do with the Bracelet? maybe?

Though i was able to lift up an entire person without much difficulty,  as well as other heavy stuff like while repairing the ship.

Of course the rest of the crew immediately wanted to test that,  by telling me to hold my arms out and have them cling to them while dangling over the ground.

Surprisingly enough I managed to hold one person per arm, Yamet on the left and Imik on the right as they were roughly the same size.

That was really a bit more than average, I'd have to ask Oakley about that at some point as it might be connected to the Bracelet.

Though as Ronan tried it he immediately folded.

We ended up sleeping in their weird cave house again, Yamet making some oil fried fish for Dinner that Imugi had tossed at him through the window, making him fall over as the fish was bigger than he was.

After that Ronan shifted and broke a shelf,  Both Yamet and Imik chased him around in the confined space with a broomstick and frying pan, cursing him out.

Jamie of course joined in on that, especially the cursing.

The weird shape of the creature form was surprisingly agile,  at least for a bit until he tripped over his own flipper like hands and face planted into the wall.

He was threatened quite a bit to change back and they made him sleep outside with Imugi, which I sincerely doubted was the first time.

The next day we collected Rikaad from wherever the fuck he had slept, IF he had any sleep at all,  and dragged him to the freshly repaired Halcyon, waiting for Ronan to put the Harness on Imugi to go to the beach he had talked about.

As it turned out the beach itself was maybe two hours out and looked exactly like Ronan had described it, sand and trees and all.

The day was actually pretty great,  We collected seashells and then moved on to throwing clumps of wet sand at each other and nobody remembered who even started it.

After that we went into the water, Rikaad actually showing off how good of a swimmer he was, well at least i could be sure he wouldn't drown.

But it was nice to see that he finally took a break, and actually had some fun for once even though he lost the armwrestling against Akeem.

To be fair Akeem was a statue and technically didn't have muscles to best.

Surprisingly enough I nearly won against him,  Both of us have to strain to try and win.

Though he still ended up winning.

After that we went swimming again,  The water here was nicely clear and not as cold as in Kamerasca.

At some point both me and Ronan shifted, splashing water around and making big waves for the others.

Considering Ronan’s big ass Flipper hands he had more success at making bigger waves than I did.

At some point i grabbed his tail with my teeth,  dragging him over the sand and through the smaller waves.

In response he tried to drag me into the water, but only ended up with a mouthful of green fur.

In retaliation for that I jumped on top of him, noting that the weird fin on his back wasn't entirely hair but just covered by the fine strands.

He tried to twist out from under me to not much success,  me being nearly double as heavy as he was.

We roughhoused for a good bit more, making sure to keep a bit distance to not accidentally roll over someone.

At some point Imugi joined in which caused even more chaos as she, despite being part of the crew, was completely unbiased and went after both of us, trying to spit water at us.

The day was over way too fast for my tastes and we ended up sitting on one of the boulders to watch the sun slowly set.

For whatever reason we hadn't properly done that yet,  then again thus far there was either chaos or someone missing.

Well technically Arthur was missing but we knew where he was and that he was okay, probably more so than if he had come with.

Poor guy would just have been seasick the entire time.

Still Poor guy as he was stuck at home with Nea and had to deal with her antics.

We sailed back as soon as the sun was completely down, Imugi being so nice and dragging the Boat again, being sly she spit water at Ronan one last time before dunking her head under and towing the boat.

Aside from that the way back to Kariba Island was uneventful and boring, but strangely enough Rikaad actually thanked me for making him come along.

Well yeah duh, he was our friend, and clearly had needed a break.

It wasn't fair that he had to do all this King stuff,  He was only eighteen and as Oakley had once said that was just a Number and didn't magically make someone an adult.

It was mean that he just didn't get to do fun stuff anymore that was considered childish, just because of his title.

But it was very clear he wouldn't trade the title or let anyone else try to do it as long as he could do it himself.

Yeah I'd remind him from now more that even he needed breaks.

Being lazy we slept on the ship,  Akeem somehow Procured a bunch of blankets and pillows.

I refrained from shifting, not wanting to steal so much space and ended up in the middle of the sleep heap, back down on the deck.

I stared up at the stars till long after everyone else was asleep, simply watching the moon and the star Fable had pointed out to me.

Lafayah, the north most star that was sometimes used to navigate.

It was nice, just laying there surrounded by people that did not want to kill me, surrounded by friends.

Simply being there and listening to their breathing as they slept.

If only it could always be like this, peaceful and calm.

Sadly the next day was a lot more hectic as we got ready to sail back to Kamerasca, the Victory Rose sporting a new mast now.

Before I got onboard Jamie tossed the little bag with my stuff at my head, which I nearly forgot again,  yelling at me to keep a better eye on my stuff.

Then the Victory Rose set sail back Home,  the smaller Halcyon following a good bit behind.

Just a few days, and an unnecessary amount of switching between ships with the help of Imugi, later the coast of Kamerasca could be seen.

In a few hours we’d be home again.

Well all of this sure would be a crazy story to write to Fable.

And I still had not worked on my awful handwriting.

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