#it made me feel this way even before i figured out i was nonhuman.

[poplarbark]

this image givbes me so much euphoria. i don t know where it comes from or what the original is but its one of my favourite images

[opiopal]

just realized I haven't posted in a hot second, so i figured I'd share this thought I've had for like, weeks,

has anyone else noticed the similarities wth obey me and steven universe? or am I just too crazy about both of them, cause just listen to me

Mc and steven are the results of someone inhuman they are related to wanting to mingle with humanity and ended up starting a family with a guy they were willing to throw everything away for, after that they end up dealing with the still grieving family that can't help but bring up lilith/rose at times, whether in comparison or just reminiscing. talking abt how amazing lilith/rose was. as everything goes on steven/mc slowly burn out and looses the parts of themselves that made them so loved,(not mentioned in game ofc but theres no way you can ignore how much meaner mc gets over time.) not to mention how many times other people have attempted to KILL mc/steven in their own grief, and with pretty much one success(I am counting white diamond here cause girl basically ripped stevens heart out.) and also the fact that they always find themselves in magical bs BECAUSE of their family, and the two have also indirectly talked with lilith\rose,(mc getting visions, steven in roses room) AND they were both saved from death by their mom\greatx1000 grandma,(mc dying, steven fusing with his gem) and despite the fact that these people have been together for THOUSANDS of years before steven/mc came along and they haven't even considered talking out their feelings in a calm setting instead of letting emotions sizzle out and explode, Ik some ppl may get annoyed with this post so I wanna clarify that I am NOT comparing the two nor am I saying that they are super allike, this is just me thinking it's silly that two of my favorite media's have a few things in common,

edit: I NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A MASSIVE NONHUMAN WAR ABOUT HUMANS/A HUMAN THAT KILLED THE VERY PERSON EVERYONE LOVED

[vulpecular-draconic]

so… i think i finally consciously figured out something.

this lull that i’m experiencing, that i’ve mentioned in previous posts? i know where it began. or, the two things that i think began it. i don’t remember which order they happened in? so i’ll just describe them.

incident one: i tried to talk about alterhumanity with my mom and sister. not just in vague, this-is-a-thing way — they already knew it existed and thought it was weird — but i tried to explain phantom limbs to them. i asked them if they experienced phantom limbs, and kinda told them about mine. which was a mistake. they didn’t make fun of me exactly, but my sister gave me weird looks (and thought i was confusing it for imagination, which i didn’t have the energy to correct at that point), and my mom just said she thought i had a strong imagination (in a less-frustrating way than my sister). but i left the whole interaction feeling VERY much like i’d shared too much of myself. i still feel that way about it. i noticed afterwards that it was harder to feel connected to my ‘types.

incident two: i filled out an alterhuman survey. i’m not sure why, but something about one of the questions — or rather, something in the way i answered it — left me feeling… empty, in regards to alterhumanity? i closed the app and got up from my chair suddenly feeling like i’d broken something. i don’t really know why it made me feel that way. the question had been asking about how much i viewed myself as human. my answer was that i felt like “human” was more of a job title, a purpose, than something i was. it was the first time i’d contextualized it that way — outside of my head, at least? — and… idk. but everything felt Different after that. 

these both happened around the beginning of 2024, i think. for a few weeks afterwards, i clung on to posting about alterhuman stuff, trying to get that feeling back. eventually though, i accepted the lull and stopped trying to wring connection to myself out of tumblr.

i didn’t fully accept the reasons for the lull, though. it’s true that i’ve had natural lulls before even knowing i was alterhuman, but i pretended that was all it was.

since the lull began there’s been a few spotty days where my connection feels stronger, but hardly ever to the strength i felt it before, and hardly for longer than a day or two.

what really worries me is that the only kintype i feel consistently connected to now is being a pearl fox (and avian-humanoid, but that’s less of a species and more just limbs that almost always feel comfortable to me. and dragons, which feel more like otherheartedness, but i always get shifty about those whenever i interact with dragon content). but even being a pearl fox feels more distant than it did. all my types felt very real as i was feeling them, but i worry that they won’t come back. what if they were hyperfixation-induced identities, and now that the hyperfixation has abated, i’ll never feel like them again? 

because i am a psychological alterhuman. i’m at the whims of my own subconscious. i think i definitely was everything i said i was back then at the time i said it, but i don’t feel like i am anymore, not in the same way. i tried, but i can’t force it to come back. i’m still not quite sure why it left.

to be honest, the only thing that’s keeping me from completely doubting if i’m alterhuman at all is remembering how i found out i was alterhuman in the first place.

i acted nonhuman (specifically, cat-like) since i was eight, until i was shamed out of it.

i constantly pictured myself as a dragon and had dragon phantom limbs around the ages of eleven-thirteenish.

right before finding out about alterhumanity in 2023, i realized i was placing an unusual amount of weight on the question “what is your favorite animal.” my answer had been cats as long as i could remember, but that had become increasingly uncomfortable to say in recent years (dysphoric, in hindsight). i felt that my favorite animal had to encapsulate my personality, and for some reason, cats no longer did. i realized i was drawn more to foxes the same week i learned about alterhumanity. 

i kind of wish i had learned about alterhumanity a bit later than i did. a couple months later maybe, that would’ve been ideal. give myself more time to learn about foxes and i connect to them on my own, without getting it tangled up in preconceptions, yknow?

because red foxes? the species that pearl foxes are a color morph of? i initially discarded them too quickly, because i didn’t feel connected to the classic red fox color morph. so i went searching for a whole different fox species, and found bat-eared foxes. it’s hard to describe in with words, but think that made everything a lot messier in the months afterward.

i’ve always had a fascination and connection with dragons, which hasn’t faded in the same way my connection with cats did, but i’m wondering if i was too eager to call it a kintype. i’m definitely at least dragonhearted, that’s for sure. i’ve definitely been a dragon before. i think i’ve been all the kintypes i list in my intro post, but i don’t know if that being was something that was ever meant to last.

i’m thinking about the list of animals i wrote down before discovering alterhumanity, when i was trying to figure out which creature was my favorite. i think i want to go back to before i found out about bat-eared foxes, and i want to start from scratch. make absolutely sure i’m not tying myself to an exceptionally long, hyperfixation-induced cameo shift. they have all been very important to me, and still are in many ways, and i’ve been scared that admitting to myself that things might have Changed and that it would mean they could never be important to me again. but that’s silly. they can be important again if that happens to happen.

i’ve only been awakened for what, a little over year now? compared to so many other alterhumans, i’m just a kit. i’ve barely started my journey with nonhumanity.

so i’m tentatively starting with a new status quo; i am a pearl fox.

i think i’m comfortable saying that, but i need to parse what exactly that means to me. i’m less so a pearl fox in a real-world all-fours fox kinda way (though it feels like that some rare occasions). i’m more so a fox in fable-trickster-figure kinda way, creative and clever and skulking around. (i think that may be where my fae/changeling kintype came from — it melds with my pearl fox ‘type in a way that may mean it’s not entirely its own thing. i don’t feel comfortable calling myself a fae anymore, not in a literal way. changeling i still have to think about.) sometimes i feel more like a pearl fox in a grungy way; less whimsical, more grounded, listening to rough music and wanting more from life. sometimes being a pearl fox feels more like a metaphor: a metaphor for how various parts of my identity has been dehumanized, and a channel to express the parts of me that snuck around to stay safe.

but it always, in some way, feels like me. it feels like it fits my pre-awakening criteria for a favorite animal: an animal that can encompass my personality completely.

i should probably make a new intro post with this info soon, but i’m not quite sure how to explain it in that format yet. but i’m happier now that i’ve figured this out. all my other kintypes, and even my hearttype and hearthome, i want to put away for now. not necessarily abandon forever; if the connection is still there in some form, they’ll come back. but i want to make sure i’m not forcing myself to make them stick around.

so yeah, reintroduction, i guess! i’m vuldra, i’m a pearl fox, and i don’t know if that’s ‘heartedness or ‘kinity or both in fluctuation.

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Beyond Identify-As

It is a known, observable fact how much the alterhuman community focuses on identify-as identities. Even more so, largely nonhumanity gets the spotlight. It is a frustrating thing for human adjacent or humanoids folks, and even more frustrating for those with non-identify-as identities. Even heartedness is talk about as an afterthought.

The circles I frequent in doesn't have as big of an issue. Or perhaps I myself don't see it right away due to me constantly hopping between spaces. I think partly is due to that very need to have more than nonhuman identify-as focus.

On a personal level, all of my alterhumanity are in some way intertwined. Even if one of them may or may not standalone, it isn't long before it all link together for one factor or the other.

At some point, I didn't understand how anyone can have distance from their kinself.

And for the ease of wording, I'm going to use otherkin as a sort of collective referral to therian and fictionkin identities. Apologies therian and fictionkind folks. They are, after all, the same on technicality, just with different area focus.

Now, with so many new discovery about myself and me learning alongside my fellow community members, I can grasp how there can be the distance some may have with their kinity. But beyond that is also this realization just how much there is this emphasis of identify-as nonhuman within the scope of alterhumanity. As someone who's come to learn about the many layer and personal connection with my various adjacent identities, these are treasured. I cannot talk about my draconity without bringing up about myself (kinity), my headmates (daemonism and median plurality), my past life (kardiatype), our mess of not quite something vagueness with Aurelion Sol (vaguetype), and this weird relation with Flammie (flicker). But oh wait, from there is even more connection towards my other identities, from the Mew paratrope, to the enfield heartlink, which is also tied to the Naruto hearttype, that may or may not have something going on with the ninja archetrope. I basically tied all these up with my nature of being a Bond Weaver archetroper!

My point is, I can no longer talk about my otherkinity only, without bringing in a whole bunch of other area of alterhumanity.

It boggles my mind just a bit sometimes how some people stick to just the identify-as aspect of their identity.

I theorize that it is due to identify-as identity being the most straight forward, and in some way, the simplest to think and talk about compare to other alterhuman concept. Take for example, otherhearted identity is largely a concept that on some level, understandable, but the feeling of it is very hard to comprehend or articulate at times. Ten different people have eleven different answers. There is a level of irony with me saying this, because usually folks will tell you if you ask what otherkinity is, there will be more answer than there would be answerer.

Perhaps it's the concreteness. It's easy to say "I am this, this is me, I identify as this" because you know what that means. To exist, to live, is being, is identifying. Well, I'm stretching a bit at the last part. But existences is a constant contemplation of "what and who I am". Maybe even before alterhumanity, we learned to focus on the core self identity. The "I". It may not be easier, but it can be more direct to feel what you are feeling, versus trying to figure out if you are even feeling anything about a character that you identify-with (as a example).

Or maybe because it is the starting point. A lot of the times, folks get introduce to alterhumanity via otherkinity. Sometimes they stick to just otherkinity and never move beyond. I don't think that's final. Self discovery and journey is like that, eventually you will encounter things on your path that veers off, or random happenstance that made you pause and contemplate. Maybe someone find new kin identity, or maybe they find new ways their identity works that is beyond identify-as.

But tying back to the first two theories, I speculate that it is more likely for people to gain more kintype, than it is for them to gain more other alterhuman identities. There's only so much spoon for so much things. And maybe choosing to spend those effort thinking about what's already there and seen more prolifically around the community is just easier than say, trying to figure out if one is performing a role based around a literary trope, or if a past life is not in fact a identity at all but something foundational.

Of course, for folks who are interacting in larger community spaces, the likelihood of encountering those that are more "advanced" in the alterhuman journey means they are more likely to get introduced to concepts beyond the identify-as. It gets the thinking process started. Even if you don't end up with new identity, you gain knowledge, comprehension, and new perspectives to look at things. Before you know it, your world view is expanded, and maybe the next time you encounter a different concept, you can connect with that more than the last one.

Not to say that those that stick to a single place cannot expand their alterhuman identity "roster", identity is a ever shifting thing, sometimes new understanding are created, invented within a small community.

Though that can also easily lead to echo chamber or group thinking, and may potentially create ideas that has been long established in larger communities, or create without enough consideration of the possibility of more than identify-as. Which may or may not also perpetuate the whole focus of otherkinity and nonhumanity when colliding with the larger community, or vice versa where newcomer come into contact with these smaller, closed off community yet settled and never step foot outside ever.

Extra end note: I know I put more attention on just identifying-as instead of identifying as nonhuman. But I figure it still gets the point across, and sort of touches upon the issue between all three major types of alterhuman area (the nonhuman, the animalistic, the fictional).

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

And here you thought I'd vanished /j pt. 2

TL;DR: here's why I've been so quiet, and what I'll probably be posting about in the future.

My life and identity have changed my practice in a way that's not widely talked about.

So, after some thinking, I... kinda want to talk about it.

That was the ending of the last post, but the rest of this post needs context. So. What the fuck am I being all cryptic about anyway?? Quite a few things actually! I have another blog that I generally call "the weird closet" because it's where I keep all the things I don't want to put on this blog because the idea of it being associated with me as a tarot reader is pretty damn scary. I've decided fuck that, actually. I'll still be keeping that blog, as it acts as a journal now for more personal things, but I think I'd much rather be open about the stranger parts of myself and lose some followers and possibly ruin my change of doing tarot readings professionally than filter myself on my own blog that I made for my own practice as a witch.

So: I'll just be blunt as possible. "My" practice was secretly a group project. Recently, I've discovered my plurality. For those of you who are interested I'll make a more in-depth post on this sometime, but for now I'll focus on what exactly that is and how it effects this blog. I'll focus on my own situation, and it's not a monolith, so please be aware that I'm not giving formal definitions here.

Our collective- AKA system, we prefer the term collective- is multiple people who share one body. Frog, who you all know- that's me. The one typing this post. I'm not the only one in here, surprise! I know I sure as hell was. In our case, this is not DID nor OSDD. We're non-disordered. I call everyone else in our collective "headmates," like roommates! We're very open so feel free to ask questions about us as individuals, how our collective works, etc. etc. It might even help us figure some stuff out about ourselves. As for how this effects our practice; well.... we're learning to have our own practice as individuals. We haven't recently because there's been a lull in our ability to practice as witches, but ultimately the plan is to allow anyone who wants their own practice to develop their own practice and style with it.

As for how this effects this blog in particular; you'll see a lot more posts from someone other than me, simple as that. Some of our collective don't give a fuck about spirituality and will never really post here, meanwhile others have a major interest in it or in one case in particular being a witch is a core part of their identity; so you'll see some variety. This will allow us to post more often, so hopefully this blog will be less dead when there's no pressure for me to be the only one running it and be filtering myself the whole time.

As a second point; I, and many others in this collective, have nonhuman identities. You may not know what that is either, and we're also open about that. Part of my personal spiritual beliefs is that my soul's truest form is draconic in nature. As for the others, many of them are nonhuman and/or fictives, so they experience their identity as Alterhuman in some way. I have less to say about that because it's a bit less relevant to our practices and therefore this blog, but it probably will get brought up.

So that's a huge fucking post, but it's context I figured I should give y'all before we continue posting on here!

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: You work at an alien intelligence subset of the government. You were asking to get abducted… you’re just getting an in-depth look at extraterrestrial life. Pairing: Alien!Keven x fem human!reader Tropes: supernatural au Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: aliens, nonhuman Kevin Smut Warnings: fingering but with a tentacle, clitoral stimulation, breast play Word Count: 1,605 Host Tags: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye Before You Interact February Filth Masterlist

Listen to ♡ E.T. by Katy Perry

“There’s no way we just made contact…” Your coworker gasps.

You snap your head around, “We what?”

“We made contact! That UFO we spotted out by Saturn, we made contact!”

He starts scrambling around the room to scribble down wherever he can and runs out the door. He doesn’t even tell you where he’s going. You can only assume that he’s going to find your superiors to report the finding. You’re left with no answers as your coworker makes a mad dash for the door. Furrowing your eyebrows together, you walk towards the monitor that he had left open. The screen shows a rather blurry photo of the ship. From what you can tell, it’s enormous. Almost as if it could house an entire community. Just as you go to pull up the transmission you got from the ship. A bright beam of light blue surrounds you. Your heart rate spikes out of fear. You don’t know what’s happening or why. One moment, you’re standing in the lab, then next, you’re standing in what seems to be a command center. You stand out like a sore thumb in the space. Your messy bun, with safety goggles on the top of your head, your stark white lab coat, and blue gloves stand out in the dark space.

“Welcome to space,” a voice calls, “We’re orbiting Saturn right now. Of course, you already knew that.”

“Who are you?” You question. 

The creature turns around. His upper half looks human-esque. His hair is split horizontally. The top half of it is a stark white color, and the underneath is entirely the opposite. The color is so dark it nearly rivals the void outside the ship. His eyes are a golden color you’ve never seen before. It’s almost as if the color swirls around his wide pupils. As your eyes take in his form fully, you notice that his lower half is tentacles. It almost reminds you of the half-human, half-sea creature beings that you were told about in fairytales as a child. He stalks closer to you. The tentacles move as if they’re human legs but also move like an octopus’s tentacles as well. He doesn't have suction cups like a sea creature typically has, but you’re still fascinated by the deep purple appendages. 

He stops not but a foot from you. One of his tentacles barely touches your boot as he analyzes you. You feel small under his gaze, but you still love every moment of the feeling. It takes everything in you not to reach out and figure out exactly what he’s like. Your mind’s scientific nature begs you to analyze him just the way he’s analyzing you. Before you can reach out to get a feel of his physical form, he reaches out to touch you first. His hand is the same as a human's. His hand comes up under your chin, tipping your chin up. He has his chin tilted up, looking down his nose at you. Turning your head side to side, he lets out a slight hum.

“Maybe I should be asking you that.” He says, “Your lab is the one who sent us a transmission first.”

You let out a shaky breath, “It wasn’t me specifically.” 

“Still your lab, no?”

“Yes.”

He hums again, “You would never be able to pronounce my name. How about I find a human name for you to call me.”

“Which would be?”

The alien drops his hand from your chin. He moves and crosses his arms across his body as he thinks. He looks around the otherwise empty space. His golden eyes glow under the lights of the room. 

“How about Kevin?” He finally says.

You try to stifle a giggle, “Of all human names you could’ve chosen, you chose Kevin?” A snarl-like sound escapes his throat, “Is there an issue with that?”

A fire burns beneath his eyes as he questions you. You feel a shiver run through your body and center in your core.

“Nothing’s funny! I like it. I was just shocked you chose that over a more unique one!”

Kevin smirked, “You want to analyze my species so badly. Why don’t we both get a nice close encounter with each other, hmm?”

All you can do is nod and let him walk around you. You assume he wants you to follow, so you do. You take in your surroundings. The ship is nearly entirely composed of dark silver metal. There are bright white strips of light that follow down the pathway. You can’t be sure if they’re lights like at home or if there is some sort of other technology humans have yet to discover.

Kevin guides you further down this seemingly never-ending hall until you stop in front of what seems to be just part of the wall. The alien knocks a unique pattern, and a doorknob appears. Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head with the notion of his species’ technological advances. Humans could never come close to what they’ve accomplished already. Pushing the door open, Keven gestures for you to step inside before him. Once you’re inside the room, Kevin pulls the door shut again. You watch as the door disappears and becomes nothing more than the wall again. Taking in this new environment, you notice it’s similar to a bedroom you’d see on Earth. It feels like a safe space for someone to relax and be themselves. There’s some sort of digital pad with a three-dimensional hologram half-drawn floating above it. Kevin moves toward it and taps a few things before the device goes black and sinks into a space on the surface.

“On the bed.” He states, “I want a close look at what you human women look like.”

You turn to locate the bed before sitting down on it, “Most women aren’t in my career field, and I’m not exactly dressed how I’d wish to be for this kind of encounter.”

He nods, “You humans put such a president on appearance… it’s a shame.”

“Well, humans are naturally drawn toward pretty things. Pretty is subjective.” 

Kevin nods again and undoes his outfit, letting it fall away from his body. You just mentioned that humans are naturally drawn to aesthetics. Now, you couldn’t be more right. Kevin’s human-like upper half is well-sculpted. He’s toned but not too bulky in any way. He’s like a walking wet dream. You subtly rub your thighs together, hoping Kevin doesn’t notice. His golden eyes immediately dart to the movement, though.

“Do humans get pleasure from that? Rubbing the upper portions of their legs together?”

“Not well, but, um, it does help a little sometimes.”

“Is it helping now?” The alien questions further.

You shake your head, “Not at all.”

Kevin’s golden eyes swirl with some unknown green flecks. He stares at you for a few moments. Then, your body feels bare. Not a single bit of clothing is on your body. You look around the room, and the clothing is nowhere to be seen. Kevin steps closer and notices the sheen of arousal coating your lower lips. Your eyes are blown wide with desperation as you notice his tentacles shifting as he calculates his next move.

“Is this how humans show their arousal? Do all humans’ genitalia grow wet? Is it always this wet? And these,” he brings a tentacle to toy with your nipple, causing you to moan, “These feed your young. Why are they erect?”

“C-can’t I answer your questions later? I need something inside me!”

Kevin brings another dark purple tentacle to wrap around your thigh and push it so that your cunt is exposed to him properly. Another moves to gently rub along the edge of your entrance. His eyes are fixated on your wet core. The appendage pushes into you, and you let out a loud moan. You deduce that he must have some sort of telepathic knowledge of what you want next, or it’s simple curiosity, but he starts thrusting the tentacle into you while a third, much smaller one, fixates on your clit. The first one continues to play with your chest. The entire experience is too much to process at once.

You fall back against the bed and spread your legs further apart as he starts to thrust the tentacle into you harder and faster. The smaller one focused on your clit starts to rub the bud quicker and harder as well. Just as you go to warn him of your impending orgasm, it shocks its way through your system. You shake and convulse on the bed as he continues to toy with your body. His eyes are full of perverted fascination as you moan nonsense in any language known to either of you. 

When you pant, catching your breath, as you come down from your high, Kevin pulls his tentacles off of your body and comes closer to your sensitive core. His breath puffs against your wet folds, making you both desperate for more, and you hope he lets you have a small break to recuperate.

“I’ve done some research on you humans.” He starts, “What I found was that nearly 60% of females don’t find true pleasure in these activities. Even more, don’t react the way your body just did. Did I do something special, or are you one of the rare females that can react this way?”

You gasp when he runs his finger through some of your arousal, “You definitely worked some magic with those tentacles.”

“Wanna see what else these tentacles can do?” He asks with a suggestive lilt, “You haven’t finished your close encounter yet?”

COPYRIGHT STARLITMARK 2024© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — reposting/modifying any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations are not permitted. 

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Tag List: @bratty-tingz @yeosangiess @minjaeluver @abbietwilight @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

[lepospondyl]

🔥 curious abt your eo takes

I think my biggest hot take about eo is that atlus should do more with the fact that the setting is sci-fi in disguise rather than pure fantasy. it might be the worldbuilding nerd in me saying this but I want to know what a post-apocalypse post-yggdrasil society is like! everyone is so guarded abt eo1's plot twist that absolutely nobody talks about this integral part of the setting in order to prevent spoilers and the backlash to eou letting the cat out of the bag was completely unjustified. I WISH that they had let eo being an "earth in the future" setting stay an open secret so that they could do more with it in the games. even if the plot of "the adventurers realize they're actually in a science fiction story" won't be possible anymore afterwards it opens up so many potential other plotlines. maybe eo6's plot could be figuring out how the "magic" in the setting actually works, or the antagonist could be someone who wants to go back to the high-tech days of old despite the fact that it would be ruinous to the carefully restored ecosystem. i was also sorely disappointed by the fact that eo5 started to do this with the fifth stratum but then stopped short of actually exploring the implications that their entire world had been artificially created.

also i'm not sure if this is my place to say anything since i'm not ainu and don't know all that much about ainu culture, but since eo is a "real world" setting having the forest folk being a direct ainu allegory kind of rubs me the wrong way, especially since they're described as nonhuman. while the devs probably couldn't talk about the actual ainu genocide since eo1 released in 2007 (which was before the ainu people were even federally recognized in japan as indigenous) and the forest folk are portrayed in a sympathetic light it's still kind of weird that despite this being a setting where ainu people exist (since the whole big reveal of eo1 is that it's NOT a made-up fantasy world) they're still allegorized as green plant people (which also falls into the whole "indigenous people are magic and have an Innate Understanding of the land" stereotype). since eou story mode was already willing to rewrite that section of the plot and ricky did know about the pre-yggdrasil era, i feel like they should at least explore the implications of an engineered non-human species having a culture very similar to a pre-yggdrasil ethnic group. is visil ainu and the forest folk having a culture similar to the ainu is a way for him to preserve his culture through his creations? is the reason why no forest folk have facial hair or tattoos (which are a sign of adulthood in ainu culture) because visil sees them as his children who will never grow up and thus he's free to discard them when convenient? anything would be better than the genocide justification plotline tbh

[multiverse-sya]

Learning about my paratype first

I've posted this on my dreamwidth first. In order to avoid cross posting in the tags on tumblr, I will be utilizing periods to break apart a word. If you see a . in the middle of a word, it's just to hide my post. I really don't want to do it this way, but at the same time, I only want people in alterhuman spaces to see this.

I connected to vul.cans, before discovering my main pro.toss identity. And I now consider vul.cans to be a paratype despite learning about them first.

To explain what I'm talking about, I will need to start at the beginning. About ten years ago, before I knew anything about alterhumanity but knowing already that I specifically felt nonhuman or animal,  I remember getting interested in Star.Trek. And although I vaguely knew what pro.toss were at the time, I didn't look too deeply into them even though my thoughts at the time towards them were: "I find them interesting. I should read more about them in the future", and you can guess what happened once I looked into them more closely and looked past their in game appearances. Although I was always interested in science fiction, I feel that getting into Star.Trek made me look into the genre more closely in general. And as I was watching the movies and series, I began to develop an attachment to vul.cans.  So when I first looked into Sta.rcraft, the knowledge I pulled from to understand the historical events and telepathic abilities were from the vul.cans.

In hindsight, they do have some similarities with pro.toss, even though you'd think of klin.gons first, since we were considered a warrior race as well. After all, one of the quotes from a pro.toss unit in Star.craft 1 based on a klin.gon warcry: it's a good day to die. But I can't clearly make sense of why I developed this connection with vul.cans, and near zero with klin.gons, past the honor components. Maybe I latched to them because of my anxiety at the time, and wanting to be able to control my anxiety (an issue I still struggle with and will always have to). Or my brain truly made some barely remembered connection to them based on what it knew about my life as a pro.toss, which I believe I've had since birth, or both.

I became so interested in their desert world, their culture and history, and I even began to learn the language. I recently went back to trying to learn the vu.lcan language and figured out that I still remember some of the basic grammar and vocabulary rules after nearly an entire decade. I don't know it fluently but I can pick apart grammar and verbs in a sentence, to the point that I consider it my third language. A few years later, I'd go on and try to learn the pro.toss language (called kh.alani), which there are only a few translated phrases on. To make life harder for me, there is apparently a real life kh.alani dictionary that the franchise uses, but it's not public. So I have to use my own imagination. My mind seems to be pulling on what it remembers about learning about vu.lcan and tries to construct it onto the pro.toss language, because it sees a similarity between the two. Now, there isn't anything inherently spiritual about that, it's just interesting that it's where my mind goes to, instead of pulling from the other languages I know much better. Although there are some similarities in word structure and sounds between the two. It could be that my brain also sees similarities and has an easier time remembering both of the languages that way.

I believe the passerby will look like phrases from the same language, but the first one is in kh.alani, the second is in vu.lcan:

"Ki nala atu.m...na adan saiosh." "Ki'sarlal nash-veh gla-tor du."

Despite how human vul.cans look, they are similar to pro.toss in a few ways. Mostly, we are both telepathic and have a focus on the mind and on mental abilities a little bit more than humans generally do. Control, practice, discipline and a focus on martial art skills are all things that they have in common and resonates with me. Vul.cans culturally have a great respect for privacy and although this isn't an entire species specific trait for the pro.toss, it is also important in ner.azim culture, a certain pro.toss group that I will talk about later. We also ironically, have a very similar history of bloodshed. I still recall that my first thought when I went through pro.toss history in the fandom wiki was something like: "Huh. So they went through that vu.lcan thing too", even though the outcome was the EXACT opposite of what the pro.toss had done back then.

To summarize to those who don't know, vul.cans had a very violent period in their history and were close to destroying themselves. But then along came S.urak, who managed to bring peace and discipline by teaching the importance of logic and the control of your emotions. Contrary to what most people believe about vul.cans, they experience emotions at a greater level than humans do, though they are forced to suppress them through practice and discipline. Vul.cans aren't born logical and emotionless, it's learned through practice. Although I personally don't think suppressing them is a healthy long term solution. Now prot.oss on the other claw, also went through a violent period of history where they went back to the stone age from all of the wars they fought with each other. And then came Kh.as, who fills the same literary role as Su.rak. Only instead of bringing logic, he brought a giant crystal that connected all of the pro.toss through an emotional link. There, hiding your emotions and thoughts were very difficult. A group of pro.toss, the nera.zim, severed themself from this link for the sake of privacy and individuality, which is a group I'm a part of.  But to put another wedge into things, there were also a group of vul.cans who despised Su.rak's philosophy and left. Those became the rom.ulans, which I don't really have any strong feelings towards. I think this is because rom.ulans took on an adversarial role throughout the story lines but the ner.azim weren't presented as evil, just as wanting different things.

(I can't be the only one who sees these similarities)

As a note, my memories are often pretty reliable, and go to great lengths to make sure I remember everything correctly and am not applying what I know now to the past. But I'm sure that despite that, there might be additional details that I'm missing such as more of my specific thoughts when I was learning about vul.cans.

As I mentioned once, I picked the name 'Sya' while learning the vul.can language on a forum. And I ironically decided to stick with the name 'Sya' when I started out in the therian community in 2017, completely oblivious about my pro.toss weirdness at that time.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Wayward Waters Epilogue

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Ayy, Epilogue already? that was fast! but i have good news!

i have re-edited arc 1 (removed typos, made it more comprehensible etc. also shorter chapters so its not a wall of text anymore) so i will upload that some time after!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

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After the Victory Rose had anchored,  with the smaller Halcyon close behind we were finally home.

Not wanting to spend too much time in Tunstead lest there was a repeat of Naroa Island and someone didn't like that there were Nonhumans visiting.

Not like Rikaad would allow that but there were always assholes.

So instead we went straight for the castle, none of the crew of the Halcyon having seen a building this big before, or confusingly built.

Which was very evident as half of them got lost in less than half an hour.

At least Imugi had fun doing figures around the spikes at the bottom of the cliff.

We found them about two hours later, Jamie having been chased out of the kitchen like some raccoon and Ronan got brought outside by Norrin, who had scruffed him like a disobedient dog.

For some reason the Grumpy young man Leon came with us to the castle and refused to say much or leave.

We left him for now,  with Nea and Norrin around there wasn't much he could do.

I shooed the Crew to Okaleys tower,  he would have more information about the blue bracelet anyway.

Yamet had opted to tour the kitchen, stating the others could tell him later and that he'd rather see if he could trade recipes.

The tower itself was as askew and unorderly as always,  and we hadn't even knocked.

The door was missing completely anyway for some reason so we simply walked in.

I did come as a surprise though that Nea was in here,  holding a brown creature with white spots on its back.

At first I thought she was holding a fawn, but then I noticed the longer neck and nubby horns as well as the claws and long tail.

“Nea? Where the FUCK did you get a baby Drake?”

The thing in question made horrifyingly pitiful bleaking noises,  pawing uselessly at the air as Nea held it like a particularly squirmy cat.

Though it was more the size of a young goat.

“I found it! So I get to keep it!”

I was not about to Argue with her, she'd kick my ass,  Instead I stared confusedly at Oakley, who was painting the cat blue.

Oh so one of those days where nothing made sense involving him.

“Oakley, why are you painting the cat blue?, and why does Nea have a baby Drake?”

He turned to face us and shrugged.

“No idea what the insane lady here is doing but i'm trying to figure out what magic affinity our dear kitty here has! 

The paint is made of lapis lazuli by the way!

Now say who are those people behind you and why is the Zoa trying to pocket some of my Gems?”

I looked over at Jamie who hastily put some sort of clear crystal back onto a shelf.

“Uh, those are friends i made while on the ocean, long story i'll tell you later, but uhh we found another Bracelet, its blue this time”

I pointed at Ronan who in turn pointed at the Bracelet on his arm.

In less than a Second Oakley had gripped his arm with one foot and was hanging onto the wall with the other, inspecting the new Bracelet up close and with no regard for personal space.

Ronan just stared confused at Oakley, though to be fair he was already used to having to be a Perch for jamie.

“Did the creature look anything like the Ardua?”

No that it did not.

“Uh, no, it was more like a seal with big and flat hands and a long tail with a fin, does it have its own name?”

Oakley Jumped of off Ronan and walked back to where he was, rummaging through his coat a bit before pulling out a Book.

While he flipped pages, and apparently had trouble reading it? The Cat, Gloxinia trailed blue paint everywhere, jumping up the windowsill and bapping at the very confused baby Drake Nea was still holding.

The poor thing probably had a very weird day,  getting manhandled by a quite frankly rather crazy woman and then getting disrespected like that by a cat.

The thing bleaked again, trying to wind itself out of Nea’s Grip,  yeah that would be futile.

“AHA! Found it! I think translating is gonna take a while seeing as the author changes the stupid coded letters every five pages! 

And language as well!, tell ya what, imma deal with Nea now and then go back to translating, you can come back after Dinner or so”

That was reasonable, and Jamie and Akeem had left already anyway, leaving only Ronan and Imik here.

No doubt Akeem went after Jamie to prevent chaos,  and they took the clear crystal from the shelf again.

Nea set the confused Drake on Oakley table where it did a wide stance as if it couldn't decide between fight or flight,  not that either would be a good idea with Nea here.

“So! Arthur got all pissy when I brought ta lil guy with me! Said just cuz i got rid of tha big one din’ mean i could keep tha smaller one!

I say tha only one that can tell me what ta do is Rikaad! 

And i want you ta tell me what exactly this is so i can ask to keep it,  or him or her or whatever!”

The thing in question made another bleaking Noise, sniffing at the table and looking over the edge of it.

Ronan put his face close to it and the thing screeched horribly, scrambling and slipping on the old wood and nearly falling off.

In response to that Nea tossed Ronan out, literally, she tossed him out the window and Imik walked out after him to make sure he was okay.

Since Ronan had landed in a bush he only had some dirt on him, and after that they both wanted to look around the castle more instead of being near Nea.

Yeah, fair, I did however want to see how the entire Drake thing would play out so we parted ways and I went back inside where Oakley was just telling Nea that the little guy was a male.

“I'd say it's a young male,  the spots have the same reason as fawn spots, they fade with time and he should get some more tan and brown colors. 

I can't say what species exactly yet but it's possible he'll get stripes,  or colored horns.

If you're sure you wanna try taming him go ahead, i can't guarantee anything but i sure am gonna watch you try, you'd probably be the first to do that, well to be fair you gotta be a bit insane to try”

A bit was good, but I also wasn't exactly fond of anyone trying to kill something so young, and thus far the little guy hadn't done anything.

As it was he was even afraid of the cat, who was still covered in blue paint and attempting to groom him.

All that did was cover him in blue paint too and he looked rather miserable at that.

While Nea argued with Oakley about what size he could reach, apparently Nea had expected something big like a dragon but Oakley estimated something slightly larger than a horse,  so I held out my hand to the strangely fluffy creature. 

All in all it looked scraggly and scruffy,  the only scaled parts being the legs and sand colored underside as well as the rather beak-like snout that seemed to be made of cartilage.

It tentatively sniffed at my hand, bonking its head against it.

Then Gloxinia wanted all the attention and I had to pet her with the other hand while the goat sized creature was inspecting my hand with its amber colored eyes.

Maybe Ronan would have some tips for Nea since he’d sorta raised Imugi already.

I was handed a blue stained cat by Oakley who told me to go wash the color off before she decided to lick it off.

“You want me to wash a cat? 

A cat of all things who are not known for liking water?”

“Yeah! Good luck!”

And with that he shoved me out, not even saying if he'd figured out if Gloxinia had any magic or magic type.

Well, better get this over with,  I wasn't even sure if the paint was edible so she probably shouldn't lick it even if that was how cats normally cleaned themselves.

Ignoring that my own shirt had gotten blue in places,  I went to the next best water source and tried my best to keep a hold of Gloxinia who definitely did not like water.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

I looked up to see that Leon guy.

“Oakley put paint on the cat, i'm trying to get it off before she licks it,  but i don't think she likes water”

Leon stuck his hand into the water bucket,  taking it back out and flicking water at me.

“Yeah no shit, thats cold water, why the fuck would wold a cat like that, try warm water next time dipshit”

Rude, at least I was trying, and not letting her eat paint.

“You do it then! If you're so much better at that!”

At the moment neither the cat nor me were happy about it.

“Aight, bet”

With that he grabbed both Gloxinia and the bucket, slinging the cat half over his shoulder and dragging the bucket to who knew where.

Well, at least I didn't have to do it now.

And judging by the fact that Gloxinia tried rubbing her head against his ear she was also rather happy about that.

Whatever, if that guy thought warm water would make her hate it less he was free to try.

Now where did everyone else go? 

Hopefully none of them got into trouble.

As it turned out they just had gotten lost in the castle again,  which we only found out because Jamie walked along the outside of it to try and get someone that knew where the fuck everything was.

Yamet however was found in the kitchen, 

talking and working with Myril so we left them to it, whatever they were doing smelled really good so we were not going to interrupt.

As expected when two very good cooks were put in the same kitchen, Dinner tasted amazing, some sort of Goulash that heavily utilized spices.

Yamet was probably the one that had brought the spices.

After that I brought Ronan back to Oakleys tower,  also rather curious about whatever he found out.

We did do a little detour though as apparently Nea had decided to train her new Pet like a Dog, including the command to fetch things.

Well, things, she let it chase a rat carcass she had tied to some other poor Guard that had to run laps to avoid the little beast.

Not something anyone wanted to be involved in.

“Is she trying to train the Drake?”

“I think so, but i don't think she knows how to,  how did you know how to take care of Imugi?”

He shrugged.

“Fuck around find out really, Imugi was easy cuz she loved doing what i was doing, also i was the first thing Imugi saw when she hatched so i guess she imprinted on me? I'm not entirely sure she knew she was a sea creature for the first few months.

Also I gave her treats when she did good things. 

Maybe I can talk to the lady there later and see if I can help! 

I've never really seen a Drake this close! Or young!”

“You do that, 

i'm not entirely sure she won't tell the little guy to bite you though”

I Wouldn't put it past her to do that, Besides we had other stuff to do first.

So, Ignoring whatever torment Nea brought upon everyone else,  I knocked on the doorframe to Oakley tower, the Door itself still missing.

“Ah there you are! Come in! I accidentally melted the door anyway!”

I kept quiet about wondering how the fuck someone could melt a Door on accident.

“Did you find out more about the Blue bracelet? 

Does the water creature also have a name?”

Oakley wordlessly pointed at two chairs and told us to sit down, 

heaving the book he rummaged for earlier onto the table.

Flipping pages around he stopped on a depiction of the creature Ronan turned into, though the drawing on the old paper depicted spots Ronan did not have as well as a different tailfin and a more brownish coloration.

But it was still the same creature, the depiction surrounded by runes and letters that were absolute gibberish to me.

Oakley pointed at it.

“So from what I found out this is a Faraselgi,  and it's basically the same principle as for the Ardua just with a water element instead of an earth one, the rest is pretty much the same.

Well that far we got ourselves already.

“Anything else about it? Or is that all?”

I would have expected it to have at least a few more differences.

“Nope! Aside from the different creatures, which are really just based on environmental factors, it's pretty much the same!

What? Did you think the blue one got superpowers or something?”

Of course not, but after being able to turn into an Ardua I couldn't exactly know what to expect regarding those Bracelets.

“How much is the same? I mean I know about the two hearts thing, 

Is the rest also the same?”

Ronan asked, brow creasing as he tried to read the absolute mishmash of letters and runes, clearly not getting anything from that.

Oakley just nodded.

“Well yes, if you take aside the tailfin shorter hind legs and stupidly big paddle shaped grabbers it is very similar!

Oh also your thoracic vertebrates are longer,  so you sort of got a mock fin on your back, but it's technically bone”

There was the weird thing,  of course there had to have been at least one weird thing about it.

Well, weirder than it already was at least.

“So I got more bones? Awesome! Do they have a function too?”

Leave it to the biologist to find that exciting.

“I don't think so, maybe helps with balance,  don't go around trying to remove them”

A fair warning considering this was Ronan.

“Don't worry! I'm not gonna vivisect myself! 

Jamie and Imik would beat the shit out of me!”

That really shouldn't be his only concern here.

“Well then that's really all since you seem already familiar with it somehow! Just don't go around scaring people or you will find your head mounted to a wall someday!”

With that he picked up the book and shoved it back into his coat,  which shouldn't feasibly hold something that big.

“Hell yeah! Now I know what it's called! I'm gonna go tell the others! 

And Imugi! Imugi first! Before it gets dark! Byee!”

He rushed out the doorway,  well at least there would be a bit of daylight still.

“Does he know where he is going?”

“No i don't think so,  when i go back i'll inform someone to keep an eye out”

Eh, he'd be fine, he had a stupid amount of luck.

Besides, I did want to talk to Oakley a bit more.

My turn to say something that would throw him for a loop.

“I met your ex”

He spit out the tea he'd been sipping.

“What? Wait which one? 

Ah no considering where you were it can only be one”

Which one??? Dumbass, then again he was like what? Sixhundred?

It was likely he had more than one ex, or more than ten even.

“So, how is Grella doing? 

It's nice to hear she's still alive after all this time”

“She's kinda dying, just like magic,  but you knew that already didn't you?”

He stared into his mug.

“Kamerasca doesn't have any Ley lines, the closest one is where my old hut is, which is why I built it there, but yes, magic is dying.

I've noticed a long time ago,  but nobody I know could do anything about it. 

I can't do anything about it, and telling people brought nothing,  either rejoicing at the ‘evil’ becoming less or simply not caring considering it wasn't their problem.

The only ones that did care were the mages and wizards and the like,  I know a few Elemancers tried to figure out WHY it happened but when I got there they were dead already, stabbed in the back by someone that saw his magic as a curse rather than what it really was.

I debated telling you after I moved here,  but I didn't want to take your joy away so soon,  Besides, there is nothing you can do, and I didn't want to see anyone else get hurt trying to figure out what was going on with magic.

At first I even expected you guys to either not care or to actually care, and go off on some stupid mission to fix something that a mere human could never fix and die.

All the powerful and old magic users are either dead or somewhere in Valyria, which is very dangerous as is already, i bet even more died in the last two hundred years as most used magic to prolong their life.

But with magic dying all the old magic users will too, and Grella as well.

She's really the only one I feel sorry for.

How much time did she estimate?”

I stared at him, so he hadn't told me to not worry me,  but from what I gathered he would have told me eventually,  when it became relevant for me.

“She said about thirty years at most, she will die in less than twenty”

Oakley looked at his three fingered wing hand,  sadder than I had ever seen him.

“If i wasn't a coward i’d visit her, but alas i am just that”

“Why? She sounded like she still likes you, i don't think she’d hurt you”

He shook his head.

“No, i know she won't hurt me, we split because i could never really go dive into the depths with her, and the school i wanted to go to was a good bit inland, where she couldn't go, in the end our interests just didn't match anymore and we agreed both to call it off.

But there are things out there, that I made very angry,  people I made angry by obtaining what was considered forbidden knowledge.

If i were to go too far from Barmea and too close to Valyria again they would kill me, and they could make it permanent”

There was a lot I did not know about Oakley, but I knew he was not a bad person, why ever he had done it he would have had a reason to.

“So you're stuck on this continent? 

Wait, did you just live as a hermit for a few hundred years? 

No wonder you were so weird when we met you, you still are”

He puffed up indignantly.

“Well, social norms have changed a lot since I went into the forest! 

It's not my fault you humans can't stick with one thing!”

Well that was true.

“Fair, but I'm sure you could just have read up on it!”

He grinned, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

“Well i find the fuck around find out approach a lot more amusing! 

But if you insist I will head to the castle Library to get catched up now!

Also i need to get a new door, maybe i should do that first”

I looked at the doorway that let a cool breeze in.

“Yeah that has probably priority right now, well have fun repairing your door, i still need to say hi to Arthur, if i find him”

“Oh i think he fell asleep sorting paperwork!”

I nodded at Oakley and went back to the castle,  stopping briefly to grab the red blue and purple shell I had picked out for him, I did say I'd get him one.

Now I just had to find him.

Since every other hallway ended up in the throne room at one point or another that's where I went, and Rikaad and Robin were already there.

Rikaad stared with disdain at the needlessly pompous throne,  to be fair it did not look comfy at all.

“Hey! Have any of you seen Arthur? I did promise to bring him a shell"

I waved said shell in the air.

“I have not seen him, but he has to be around,  perhaps Norrin will know where-” Rikaad got interrupted by Arthur emerging from one of the side hallways.

“I hate the layout of this place! Oh you're all back!”

There was a Squeal and Robin rushed to hug the blonde, who had to hold a bunch of paper over his head to not get them scrunched up.

For some reason they had reddish brown stains in one corner.

Arthur nearly fell over if not for Rikaad grabbing his arm to keep steady.

Arthur awkwardly patted at Robin's messy head and I noticed that two of his fingers were in a splint.

“What happened to your fingers? Did Nea break them?”

Robin let go after that, inspecting said finger gently.

He did say before we left that he wouldn't doubt that Nea would do just that.

“Huh? Oh no i tried to grab at something that fell behind that longass drawer, kinda broke my finger when i slipped on paper”

Well, that still sounded painful.

But at least the next bit would probably cheer him up a little!

I handed Arthur the shell I had picked out for him, 

the blue, red and purple shimmering in the light.

“Here! I did say I'd get you a big one!”

He turned said shell over in his hand,  the thing being almost bigger as said hands.

“I didn't know seashells could have those colors! 

Thank you! OH! Also I have something as well!”

He held out the slightly stained paper, which I was now pretty sure was blood, and carefully took it, looking it over.

My face split in a grin as I read the title, 

It seemed like Rikaad had to rewrite a law pretty soon.

Man, I couldn't wait to write to Fable!

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[tictac-murder-spaghetti]

Finally got this working! I wrote this in October for Whumptober Day 2, and it's some good old Strychnine whump and hurt/comfort! This obviously happens after their friendship is fairly well established! As I post more I'll get an actual timeline going.

Content Warnings: Implied lab whump, implied (past) child abuse, nightmares, muzzles, dehumanization, minor horror elements, cages, nonhuman whump (he's made of goo???) Writing under the cut!

Strychnine was in the alley. Really, he had been in many alleys throughout his life, for various reasons, but tonight he had no idea why he was here. He pushed himself into a standing position, brushing the dust off his pants as he looked around, absolutely confused. How the hell had he gotten into an alley at night, just sitting on the ground? He didn’t seem hurt, besides the growling prickles of terror at the back of his neck. The stars sparkled above him, but he couldn’t seem to see the end of the alley in either direction, a feeling of cold dread washing over him. Strychnine began to run. As he did, the terror really kicked in, his heart pounding as if he was being chased, but he couldn’t see anything behind him besides the dark void of the alley and the same in front of him.

“Clunk!” Something hard and metal made contact with his knees, causing him to tumble to the ground with a cry of surprise. He tried to push himself back up, see what he had run into, but before he could he felt cold metal clamp around his neck and push his body back down onto the cobblestones. He’d seen this weapon before, he knew the man who wielded it, his best friend.

“Ambrose?” “Oh? How’d you guess it?” Strychnine had never heard his voice with such a chilling tone to it, full of malice. “Ambrose, what are you doing? Why am I here?” “Strychnine, don’t you really think it’s high time the ruse is up? That’s why you’re here. As for what I am doing, I’m doing my job. I’m arresting you.” “What?!” Strychnine was beginning to panic again, trying to figure out if there was any way for him to worm his way out of the clutches of the man catcher. Noticing his struggles, Ambrose leaned on the handle almost nonchalantly, pushing the metal band farther against Strychnine’s throat. “Ambrose, we’re friends!” “Strychnine, I’d never be friends with a criminal! And even worse, a monster! That’s what you are, Strychnine.” “What? No- no Ambrose, don’t say that. I thought we were friends.” Ambrose hadn’t said that, he couldn’t. Strychnine wasn’t a monster. He tried too hard to convince himself he wasn’t a monster, Ambrose knew that, Ambrose wouldn’t accuse him of that. The crimes? Yes, he’d committed crimes, he knew that, he was a criminal, but a monster? No, no.

Ambrose, or the thing that looked like Ambrose (Strychnine couldn’t believe Ambrose would say that to him, he couldn’t) noticed his distress, the condescending smile on his face widening, “Yes Strychnine, you thought. That’s the keyword there buddy.” “But- we hung out! You let me into your house, we did things together, we worked together!” “You broke into my house. You’re a wanted criminal, what you think I’m just going to kick you out of my house when you could kill me? Now I know you wouldn’t, you’re too weak for that, but I just went along with it. What would you do? If a little criminal bastard started following you around and wouldn’t leave you alone? I couldn’t call the rest of the police, they’d be much too suspicious of why I hadn’t taken you in in the first place.” Tears stared to well in Strychnine’s eyes, black and goopy- unnatural, but he still wasn’t a monster. Biologically different from every other mortal? Yeah, but he-he still wasn’t a monster, even if he had black radioactive goo running down his face instead of tears. “Then- what are you going to do?” He sniffled, “You said you were going to arrest me.” “Well… I am. But since I can’t bring you to jail, I know someone else who’ll take care of you. She really wants you back, you know.” Strychnine's eyes widened in fear as a mean smirk crossed Ambrose's face. “No- No Ambrose!! I’ll turn myself in, please don’t, please.” He pleaded, eyes wide, how-how could Ambrose have known? He never told him about his past, he’d considered him a friend, yes, but Strychnine couldn’t even think about what he’d gone through most of the time, and definitely couldn’t talk about it to anyone else. Ambrose released the mancatcher and Strychnine tried to make a desperate lunge away from him, but he reached out and grabbed Strychnine by the back of his shirt, painfully yanking him back and dragging the smaller man across the cobblestones. Strychnine struggled, trying to get out of Ambrose’s grip, but he wouldn’t let go no matter how much Strychnine rolled or flailed, making the dragging all the much more uncomfortable. Since he wasn’t restrained, Strychnine looked down at his gloves, considering. He could get out of here, just slip his gloves off, grab Ambrose around the ankle and Strychnine would be out. And Ambrose would be missing a foot. Even if he was mistreating him, the thought made Strychnine sick. He would have been a monster if he’d done that. He couldn’t. He told himself he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that after- her. She was the last person he’d done that to and he was going to keep it that way.

Instead he twisted around and grabbed Ambrose’s trenchcoat, trying to drag the taller man down. Ambrose swiveled around, roughly yanking the hem of his coat out of Strychnine’s grasp before letting go of his shirt and dropping him. Strychnine’s head painfully smacked against the cobblestones, letting out a wheeze of surprise. Dazed, he was helpless to even try to run again before Ambrose once again grabbed the back of his shirt and continued to drag him. The alley just kept stretching on, Strychnine’s vision blurring as his head rang, he was normally quite tolerant of pain but tonight... it hurt so bad. All he could see was dark stone wall after dark stone wall, feeling like they were falling in on top of the two of them. He clutched his head in his hands, just trying to get the pain, the tears, anything to stop, but it wouldn’t. He tried to dig his boots into the stones, slow Ambrose down, all he wanted was this hellish nightmare to stop, for this friend to be his friend again. The movement stopped. He tried to twist around, see if he could see what caused Ambrose to stop, but he couldn’t see Ambrose anymore. He couldn’t see anything anymore, just black void above and below him. And he fell.

Strychnine hesitantly opened an eye, and immediately regretted it. It was her- well, her legs, as he couldn’t see the rest from where he sat on the floor. His “mother”, the woman who had created him, and the very last woman he’d ever wanted to see. He scampered back, feeling cold metal underneath him, but he didn’t get far before cold metal pushed into his back as well-bars. He was in a cage. He was in a fucking cage. He looked down at his wrists and while his gloves were still on he couldn’t get them off, his only way to fight back taken from him by a thin strip of metal wound around each wrist, pinning his gloves to his body. He started to breathe fast, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“I really appreciate your friend here bringing you back to me #07. I missed you so much.” She kneeled down to look at him through the bars of the cage, a cruel smile on her face, sparks buzzing between her horns, showing that she was truly more happy to see him again then her voice betrayed, but Strychnine didn’t really like her view of “happy”. He watched as Ambrose passed the cage as well, his “mother” standing back up to meet him. “Really sir, thank you. My son here has been quite the menace, and after I lost him so many years ago I thought I’d never get him back. He’ll be… properly dealt with.” “Good,” Ambrose spat, with more hatred in his voice then he’d ever heard, “That's what it deserves.”

Hearing his friend- his best friend say something like that about him, he had to ask why, Ambrose why? All that came out was a pitiful whimper, as he couldn’t open his mouth fully, only now realizing part of his ringing headache was the straps tightened around his head holding a muzzle in place. His “mother” had muzzled him and thrown him into a cage like he was some sort of wild animal or… like he was a monster. He grabbed at the strap, trying to find the buckle but fumbling as his hands shook. “Oh #07, I’m so sorry I had to do that,” She leaned down again, “I was just worried you’d react like this. Last time you got angry with me you did this-'' She rolled up one of the sleeves of her lab coat and Strychnine saw the full extent of what he’d done as a child… but something was wrong, her arm was covered in deep gouges and chemical burn scars, but they still dripped with black goo just like his own hands. She reached into the cage, Strychnine desperately trying to back away from her grasp but being stopped by how small the cage was. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragging him towards the front of the cage and holding him in place.

“I didn’t want you doing that again when we continued where we left off-” she poked him hard in the chest, right above his heart, “Such a shame the experiment had to be delayed so long. In the last 19 years I’ve made plenty of advancements, but I kept everything how it was back then just for you.” She pulled him up to the bars of the cage again, pushing his face against them as she hissed in his ear. “I’m not letting you ruin this, or me, ever again.” The black goo started to run down her face, dark tears burning through the flesh of her face. She dropped him as more black dripped down her face, her scarred arm. Even Ambrose, who had been coldly watching him from the side of the room started to melt, black dripping out his eyes and the sleeves of his coat. Strychnine gasped in horror, scrambling back once again trying to get away from the horrific forms of his “mother” and best friend. He curled into a little ball, tears pouring from his own eyes as he tried to pretend this isn't happening. It couldn’t be happening. He tugged at the muzzle more, maybe if he could get it off- maybe if he could just scream it’d all be better. But anything would be better, anything would be better than this, prison would be better than this, he just wanted out- he wanted out- please, please could it just stop-

------------------------------

Strychnine woke up in his bed. His heart still pounded, his pillow and cheeks both still wet with black goopy tears. Just like- no. He rolled over, staring up at his ceiling. It was just a nightmare. It hadn’t happened, though the way his gloved hands were clutching the sheets and the tears wouldn’t stop coming told him the fear was so very, very real. He wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep. Strychnine swung his legs off the bed before he stood up, taking a deep, shuddering breath. He slowly made his way to the window before cracking it open and stepping out onto the roof.

Ambrose woke with a start, looking around wildly, trying to find out where the assailant was coming from, trying to figure out who was breaking into his bedroom. That was until his eyes landed on Strychnine, crouched on his windowsill, eyes glowing yellow in the dark. Normally he’d just shoo the other man away like he was some sort of feral cat or a raccoon, it was the middle of the damn night after all, but something was wrong. Strychnine was usually so smiley, even when he was being an annoying little menace, but he wasn’t now. Black lines ran down his face from his eyes, looking like tear tracks, if tears could stain black. He got out of bed, throwing a robe over his shoulders before cracking open the window.

“Strych-” He was cut off as Strychnine barreled through the window as fast as he could, the smaller man wrapping his arms around Ambrose’s waist in a hug. Ambrose was a little shocked, but put his hands on Strychnine’s shoulders in a supportive gesture. Strychnine was shaking. “Strychnine, what’s wrong?” “Ambrose, I’m not a monster, right?” “What? I mean, you’re weird but you’re not a monster. What happened Strych?”

He held the smaller man close to him as he sniffled, trying to take a deep breath. Ambrose led him over to the couch in his bedroom, sitting down besides Strychnine. Strychnine was in his pajamas but still had his gloves on, Ambrose wondered if he ever took them off. “I-I had a nightmare. You were in it. You… said some horrible stuff. And I could kind of tell it wasn’t you… something felt so wrong, but it still hurt. Then some stuff from my past came up-” Tears started welling in his eyes again, “And it was scary. So-so scary. And dehumanizing, and just… it was bad. I thought I’d forgotten those things but… I hadn’t.” Ambrose pulled Strychnine into a side hug, “I’m sorry Strychnine. You don’t need to tell me what happened, if you don’t want to. But I’ll assure you, I am your friend. And I don’t know what nightmare Ambrose told you, and I don’t need to know, but hey, I’d go and get him for you. And you’re not a monster.” Strychnine sniffled, “You suck at fighting though.” A slight smile crossed Ambrose's face, “Hey, if I had to fight myself but meaner I think I’d win still. We’d both suck.” Ambrose gently grabbed Strychnine’s gloved hands with his own, “Like I said, you’re a bit… odd, but you’re not a monster. And the weirdness is what makes you fun, anyway. Who knows if we’d be friends if I didn’t find your weirdness so endearing but I do. And we are.” “Thank you Ambrose. I feel kind of bad, I just broke into your house and woke you up in the middle of the night, but could you just sit with me for a little bit longer? I’ll go back home but I just- I need to sit for a bit and it’s better to have company.” “No problem buddy.” Ambrose sat with Strychnine for a while, until the smaller guy's breath began to slow and Strychnine fell asleep again, slumped over on the couch. Ambrose carefully got up so he wouldn’t wake him and tossed a blanket over his best friend before yawning. The sun wouldn’t come up for a few more hours, and he was tired, but he didn’t want to disturb Strychnine. Another night sleeping in his office wouldn’t hurt. He hoped Strychnine wouldn’t have another nightmare but even if he did, Ambrose would be around this time. And real Ambrose would be there for him, since really Strychnine wasn’t a monster, he was his best friend.

Taglist @a-crumb-of-whump (Please ask to be added or removed!)

[serowebs]

how did you find out you were demonkin? i'm questioning if i'm a demon and so i'm asking around for other demons experiences

Good luck trying to read my rambling because I don't know if I can properly word out my thoughts and i am sorry if things may sound confusing just as a heads up if it do.

Honestly I am like pretty split on my whole demonkin identity for various reasons generally, but some of the reasons for me personally that make me think I am largely come from a rather general connection to demons and demon related things. Ever since I was very young and before I even knew what the fuck otherkinity was I personally always internally saw myself as, at the very least, some kind of demon like entity and I have always desired to be some sort of nonhuman physically ever since a young age. Any time in media where demons were portrayed I would see atleast part of myself in them and other things but I cannot truly put to words the specifics. I have had sort of like a phase not too long ago where I would try and just gather as much information as possible on demons and such not purely for questioning reasons at first but as I was looking around I was also starting to notice patterns and traits that would also match some of my experiences in one way or another wich would let the idea of me being demonkin kind of solidify in me. Whilst questioning I did further research about demon related topics generally but I have also looked around and compared to some other demons' experiences here and the fact that my feelings sort of matched up and the way I look internally also matched up with other demons here made me consider that label also rather strongly. Hell, I have even talked with a different demon that seemed rather similarly to me in the aspect as also being some kind of void and they also gave me the advice of aside of doing research and probably overthinking too much also just sort of "trying out the labels" aswell and if you change your mind and figure out "hey maybe I am actually not a demon" then that is perfectly fine too and after trying things out for a bit I personally just stuck with it because yea that in my opinion actually kind of suits me in my eyes you know? even if I am rather very 'soft' to be a typical one I just feel like to be considered a demon just matches up with my inner self.

[fudanshijoseph]

yeah i thinmk so too, my spelling on pc is actually ALOT worse because i try n type at thw same speed as i do on my phone and it just doesNOT work out which is superfunny sometimes

alotof my inplurals / subsystems are currently dormant buti am curious on how the ones that aren't would feel about the labels n which one they'd choose, the separation would probably make logging thinfs alot easier tbh ...

therer lots of ofher robot characters you coudl maybw project on even if it's in a different way, i'd give you some examples of mine but my opps .... IPEOMISE IM NOT PARANOID bur i am.. so...

iwana have a bunch of pearls irl n have tjem in a little jar and shake fjem around i think it would cure me tbh .... ir would be so cute and sound so wonderful

i'm liek n evil stuffed animal, my stuffing is liek fiberglass i thigk...... iwana eat fiberglass but it'd chopup my organs D: but my main id is a dog, I ACTUALLY GOT ASSIGNED A BREED AWHILE AGO n they said i'd b a husky which maaybbbb i dont liek the cold all tht much unless im bundled up thooo i think if i was all bundeled up n could stay warm though i'd be in the snow aaaaall the time because snowwy days can b super relaxing

i habe a few big ones n like 2 smalls, most are bigger than my hands at leasy but i worry about my big ones fallign off too so they're safer on my shelf, usa even falls off sometimes and its so miserable.... i move around alot in my sleep

for me i used cashapp for alot of years n thay was pretty easy n it has a physical card n a card on my phone cause i lost my physical card awhile back ( i have a new one ) but i coild just use it through the app n it was fine but its good that you have someone that can help yio out wirh these things as they can be annoying to figure out on your own

hehe surprisingly i'm not a big plusho or objectum at all !! ijusy really like usa n my other stuffies are liek my friends maaaybeee N HE IS especially after i wash him hehe, i've been thinking about getting him his own brush at some point cause his fur gets all tangled sometimes

thankfully names are pretty easy for us n though we've had and gone through a lot they usually are used for a longer period of time n since we're blurry a lot its easier to have one or two names we can all agree on either cause of ids or because the name was assifned to us liek my nimber name was

i think my migraines started after my concussion n are like a permanent side effect of it like some other stuff, can rarely evr find the cause of it tho but sometimes i liketo play a guessing game on if its cause i haven't drunk evnouhj water, eaten eough food, if front is too full, or if im on my deathbed, usually its none of the above but it's still fun to play cause it helps me to remembr to eat n stuff but stress migraines SUCK cause theres not much you can do othr than just wait it out -💫

thts so reql me too.. actually made me go n get our little bluetooth ketybaord thingy ,, we hve a pc but it doesnt work rn.... i miss it i mis playing minecraftt......

mmaybe.. i dont feel super Connected t being robot in nonhuman way lik i did before with victor when i was larry.. i think i still could if i am prototype buit i mgiht not have any regretevator frontrs for a While cs joseph is just really comforting t be and stay as for a really long timme..

that sounds really pretty,,.. we hage something Kind of like tha um its a little . jar in our bathroom (i know weird placement but our bodys sister made it and just left it there ? so..) filled with like orange water glitter,.. the glitter usually sits on th bottom n it looks really dumb but its pretty when its shaked togerher....

i think weve touched fiberglass at least once when we were a little kid ... i dont really know what exacly our main id is when it comes to being nonhuman .. because as of late weve mostly Just been Joseoh and often not even any specific nonhuman joseph like cat or anything just .... normal joseph,.. which is still nonhuman for us but not.. anything in partcular so its hard to pin down..

we dont move a lot in our sleep really,... i think we sued to beecause sometimes wed have sleeopovers with our friends and wed wake up like half way down the bed .. i dont think we do that anymore..

illlll hope i cn figure that out yeah,.. i know velma used a different card app bc she has like stuff she does with her mom .. so i dunno...

i am a big objectum id say i just find it hard to really make actually strong n long lasting Connecions with things even when im attracted to them .. i think a lot of it s tyat i dont experience object sentience ,... which i actually prefer i think i find it More romantic (?) that th objects arent like ... sentient and alive.. but it oes also make it a little bit difficultt... it akso means that typically we dont Feel much for our stuffed animals unless its like romantic.. like they alll mean a lot to us and wed sob if we ever lost any of them like permanently but also we dont really think about them much at all n have no strong EMOTIONAL ties to them beyond.. that attachment.. we um . mainly just have trauma about losing things/having things tajken from us . as an explanation for that one..

names are kind of back n forth for uss... we aent very creative with names unless we can just come up with one really easily bc that happens sometimes but usually even with some sort of inspiration of like a Theme we want the name to take from it can be hard to think of an actual name and then also needing to connnect witg it and actually feel like its Our Name n stuff... we struggle to find like Permanent collective names cus we have host changes sometimes (not Super often but still enough to affect our collective identity strongly and indefinitely until a New host change) and even then sometimes even without hsot changes we just lost interest/connnection with a name..? or just change interests, vibes, existing cnnections tht would change the names were connected to, etc.. i wwas gonna sau that i think were really lucky that viuctor never assigned us any names (just sources which is still hard but i think is Easier to disconnect and get over than names are..) but actually he did because he gifted us 3 chinese names since hes chinese.. n they actually meant a LOT to me but now theyre ruined and it makes me really sad because i loved those names n i loved him.. n they were such cute and sweet and emotionally charged names..

i dont think webve ever had any serious head injuries which actally is really surprising because weve had lots of accidents and events where we did get our head hit pretty bad.. but at the same time it is pretty possible that we did and just dont remember.. since we dont remember most things,.,, i never really know whgat the cause of ours are either really.. since pluralness doesnt really affect uss bodily or anything very much at all were never bothered when we form new people or when theres lots in front .. i think they do sually just happen for no reason for us..

[vulpecular-draconic]

although my phantom limbs haven’t been as strong/as frequent the last couple of months, i’ve still been thinking about my nonhumanity, and i’ve made a few discoveries!

first: the post i made about feeling more disconnected from humanity during this lull than normal and feeling like a changeling instead? i think i’ve figured out that “changeling” is my standard now. back when i first discovered alterhumanity, i did feel like a human, but i’ve slowly drifted away from that. now i’m at the point where when i’m not feeling like any specific kintype very strongly, my default is changeling.

which, speaking of, is subtly different than fae. i noticed that pretty soon after realizing they were ‘types, but i haven’t been able to articulate the difference until recently. the two are technically of the same species, but still different. when i’m feeling strongly fae it usually comes with at least a slight mental shift (and pearl fox phantom limbs, more on that in a sec), but feeling changeling is just… normal. my normal nonhuman brain. if someone came up to me and asked what species i am on an average day (and if being nonhuman was an accepted thing in society) then i would probably list “changeling” first.

my pearl fox kintype is intertwined with being fae/changeling. even if i’m not experiencing pearl fox phantom limbs, my natural inclination is to imagine my fae self with pearl fox features, or as a full-on anthro pearl fox. it goes the other way around too, where being more pearl-fox-ish leads me to feel more fae-ish.

a similar thing happens with cryptid and maned wolf (although usually not anthro there). cryptid itself is still mostly feelings and instincts based, and it can apply to many forms, but maned wolf-ish bodies fit it very well.

speaking of maned wolves — after questioning for a while, i think i’ll consider it a kintype? i’m still uncertain, but calling it a kintype seems most accurate.

i think i’ve mentioned how i am sometimes a shadowy being? that’s related to being cryptid, of course. the thing i’ve realized is that it’s probably an accidental otherlink. i started imagining myself as a shadowy being several years ago, way before i knew about alterhumanity. i chose things about it, so i know it was voluntary at the beginning. but after all this time it’s become a part of my identity. my connection to it fluctuates (like with all my kintypes), but i can’t drop it, and there’s some things i can no longer change about it.

OH. also! you know how i have “antlers” in my intro post, and how i say idk what they’re about? well i am very silly, because they are definitely related to being a cryptid as well as being a dragon. i don’t know how i didn’t realize it before. i usually get antler shifts the more cryptid i feel, and my dragon horns (at least on one of the dragon ‘types) are antler-ish. so yeah. very silly. i’m probably gonna remove them from my intro post soon

and not a discovery, but i’ve began working on a chart to explain my kintypes’ connections to each other, since it’s difficult to describe using words. i don’t know how long it’ll take.

…and i think that brings you up-to-date!

[liondrakes]

Personal Origins of a Liondrake

by Sivaan of Candlekeep

This post was written for the following challenges created by @/who-is-page:

Day 28 of the Alterhuman Writing Challenge

Day 6 of the Folcintera Week Challenge

6.) How and when did you realize you were nonhuman? Was it something you had always known on some level? Something that awakened in you, for whatever reason? Something that just ended up becoming a part of you?

Do you have any theories or explanations behind your nonhumanity (or species identity), or is it something you prefer not to try and dissect?

I've touched on my personal theory behind my origins on an earlier entry of the Alterhuman Writing Challenge, so I'll focus on how I came to understand myself.

I realized I wasn’t an orthohuman when I was a teenager. Although I officially awakened in 2022, I connected these dots long before that event. Back when Vine was still around, I came across a video of Naia Ōkami. I understand that she’s quite a controversial figure within the community nowadays, but it is imperative that I discuss this moment.

Anyway, the video in question was an infamous clip taken out of context: “On all levels except physical, I am a wolf.” The unfortunate part wasn’t her statement; it was the fact that this vine was posted to make fun of her. This was a time when cringe culture was at its peak on the internet. I didn’t find anything particularly funny about the vine, but I was curious about what she meant by that. I decided to look the statement she made and search for the context. Besides the clip that would keep circling around of her, I did find information about Naia Ōkami and her experience(s). Notably, this rabbithole led to me learning about otherkinity.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, discovering what Otherkin was would change the course of my life. That impact wouldn’t be felt until much later, though. Being young, it made me think of the fascination I had towards animals (anthropomorphic or otherwise) and other nonhuman creatures. Sometimes, those feelings extended beyond interest. I felt closer to nonhuman animals than humans. I admired and envied of mythical renown. I wanted to escape the flesh I was born into and see what the world was like from their point of view. As I sat with these thoughts, the possibility of being otherkin crossed my mind.

For a few weeks, I kept returning to all the web pages I pulled up and musing on the idea of being anything other than human. I thought of the nonhuman creatures I loved and connected with. I thought about not simply loving werewolves but being a werewolf. It excited me.

At this point in my life, I downloaded Tumblr and made my first account. Honestly, I don’t think it was the best idea for someone who had just turned thirteen, but hey, what can you do? I used my blog for multifandom purposes like many kids my age, but part of me wanted to announce these feelings of nonhumanity on my blog.

I didn’t want to tell anyone around me, let alone my parents. I lived in the Bible Belt of America for fuck’s sake. Even so, I was smart enough to kept myself fairly anonymous; I rarely had to worry about those closest to me finding my socials. In theory, sharing this realization on Tumblr was my safest bet.

In the dead of night, I made a coming out post of sorts. Please note that what I’m describing is not how I currently feel about nonhuman identity. I am paraphrasing what I recall from that post I made when I was thirteen.

Here’s a summary of my coming out post:

I explained that I might be otherkin, specifically a werewolf. I remember copying and pasting the definition of otherkin My followers and mutuals didn’t have to understand why I feel this way, so long as they treat my identity with respect. If they didn’t support my identity, then I understood completely. I don’t hold it against them for unfollowing or blocking me if it came to that. It’s not normal for someone to feel this way, so I sympathized with their confusion and apprehension.

Thinking back on it saddens me.

It hurts remembering that sort of thinking. At such a young age, I felt like I had to walk on eggshells if I deviated from any sort of social “norm” and placate people who’ll treat me like shit regardless.

And again, this was when cringe culture still ran rampant. That isn’t to say there weren’t people who were unapologetic about their identities then, but as a child, the thing you fear the most is to be ostracized or gawked at. Many an asshole made “content” by just ridiculing people who did no harm. All they did was be themselves and did what they wanted. Remembering the existence of those same people, I deleted my coming out post not even a full day after I uploaded it.

Any mention of nonhumanity was gone. Those feelings became secrets. I didn’t mention anything about species identity, be it online or offline. If, by any chance, otherkind was mentioned in passing, I'd either keep quiet or comment that I'm not bothered by otherkind and leave it at that.

Things took a turn when the pandemic began. In my senior year of high school, I deactivated my blog and turned towards Twitter. For a year, I befriended a lot of people as the world kept snowballing with each following year. One of these people had been a friend of one of my mutuals, Rafael. Rafael's account ranged anywhere from important information to multifandom content, but above all else, Rafael spoke very openly about being otherkin.

Before I came forward about my identity (again), I held a lot of respect for Rafael. I still do. Times changed. Cringe culture was dead, at least for most folks. People were emboldened to be more unapologetic about who they are. That included me as well. I spent a lot of time exploring my gender identity. I hoarded labels. I picked up flag-making and coined my own xenogenders as creative practices. As one could assume, I stopped walking on those eggshells. Seeing Rafael's posts reminded me that my journey didn't stop at gender. In April of 2022, I messaged Rafael about my suspicions of being otherkin (again). Expectedly, Rafael was very supportive and encouraged exploration into this side of my identity.

From then on, I announced to my followers and mutuals that I was Otherkin. This time, I didn't take the post down. Many were supportive and curious about my experience. Some weren’t too familiar with it but weren’t judgmental about it either. My partner Nani was the most supportive of all, which brought a lot of relief for me. Of the people in my life, she’s the most consistent in understanding and familiarizing herself with my identity.

Informing the people on my socials was one thing, though. Involving myself in the community was something else entirely. Luckily, talking with my nonhuman friends helped warm me up to interacting with the community at my own pace. It was through Rafael that I met Coyote, another good friend of mine who inspired me to lean even harder into my species identity. Sometimes, I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t met either of them. The only thing I can think of is being a furry lifestyler. I used to dip in and out of the furry subculture in my teenage years; I can see that experience filling the void if I hadn't met Rafael or Coyote. Other than that, who knows? "What if" moments are hard to speculate on.

I wouldn't say that I "always" knew of my nonhumanity. It certainly showed itself in my feelings towards nonhuman creatures as a child, especially with the intensity of those feelings. Yet, I didn't readily make the connection that "I am (x)". I had to discover it. When I did, I shut it out to avoid judgment. I buried my truth for years, and it took witnessing the confidence of others to dig it back up.

Nowadays, I don't use the Otherkin label. I use Transspecies because of the discoveries I made along the way. I also use Alterhuman and Alterfictional to cover the broadness of my identity (in and outside of species), whereas Othervague and Folcintera are used to cover the intricacies of my identity. My journey took a lot of work to get where I am now. It didn't stop at accepting myself; it continued through introspections, writings based off of those introspections, conversations, taking in what I learned from those conversations, readings, and simply being what I am. As mentioned in my previous entry for this challenge, my journey has yet to end. It’s ongoing. I take my experiences, let them sink in, document them if I so choose and keep on living as usual.

Nine years ago, I defanged myself out of fear. Now, I no loner deny my nonhumanity. This April, it'll make three years since the day I awakened and finally embraced who I am. I haven't stopped talking about my experiences since. Furthermore, my passion for species identity and its nuances have intensified, specifically through being ontopunk.

I am unapologetically polymorphic, a concept, an animal, a fictional character, and many more wonderful, beautiful things.

I am me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[practically-an-x-man]

🎬🚥😎🧜‍♂️🧿 for Terra and Madison?

Thank you so much!!!

A Sort of Whumpy Writer's Block Ask Game

🎬 What was the very first scene or image that popped into your head before you ever wrote a word for your OC?

Terra: Given I first created her for the plot bunny ask game... I didn't really have one, honestly! Usually I get an idea for a moment or scene and flesh out the character from there, but with that ask game I focused more on just creating a new OC that would be reasonably interesting and would fit the tone of Arcane- I didn't even expect to do anything with her until I wound up obsessed with season 2!

Madison: The first image I had was Alex being out on a mission to this old camp with a lake, looking into the reflective surface of the water and seeing Madison's face semi-visible under the surface of the water. That scene never made it into the fic, since her actual entrance involves her leaping out of the water in the middle of a fight scene, but it was what prompted me into her fishlike mutation and "wild" background

🚥 Is there a character choice or plotline that you regret but is now canon and you feel like you can't change it?

Terra: Not with Terra... no, but seriously, I wouldn't say I regret accidentally dooming Pluto to the narrative with that fic I wrote, but it's definitely going to be interesting to try and figure out where to go from here once Act 3 comes out and I see where canon goes.

Madison: No. There are definitely some things I would like to rewrite, particularly in the earlier chapters of her fic, but that's more about writing style (since those early chapters are old) than plot decisions. I'm pretty secure in the arc of her story and what it contains.

😎 Pick one thing about your OC and describe it in detail. (their smile, their eyes, the way they walk, their voice, etc.)

Terra: Terra's eyes are naturally a sort of hazel-green shade, though they have taken on a pinkish tinge due to her prolonged Shimmer use. When her use of Shimmer increases, even in the short-term, this pink color becomes pronounced and visible (with extreme use, the color almost seems to glow); and when her use of Shimmer decreases, her eyes begin to return to their natural color. Because of this, her eyes are most often a sort of undefined, murky color from that mix of green and pink.

Madison: Due to her mutation, her hair and eyes have a reflective quality to them - they mirror the colors of what's around her. Her eyes, being a smaller surface, mainly just reflect colors, though if someone looks closely they could see distinct shapes and figures as well. Her hair, especially when it's loose and brushed, has a very visible mirror effect and clearly reflects what's around her. Like a traditional mirror, these attributes can appear vaguely silver-toned on their own, but more often pick up the colors and features of their surroundings.

🧜‍♂️ If your OC could choose to be a nonhuman character, what do you think they would choose? If they are a nonhuman character, would they choose to be human or another sort of nonhuman character?

Terra: Hm... I think she'd want to be some sort of fairy or brownie - something delicate and gentle, but also something that could fly away from her troubles or slip into the air vents to gather gossip.

Madison: She'd want to be the Loch Ness Monster XD Life in the water? Alone and undisturbed, probably just a myth? That sounds like a dream to her!

🧿 Whether you actually get there or not, what are your hopes for your OC's future?

Terra: At this point, I honestly don't know! It depends partly on what Act 3 gives us, since I need to get the full story before I can determine where Terra fits into it long-term. Plus, like I said before, she was a fairly unexpected OC for me, I created her without a concrete plan or story in mind, so I'm still trying to sort out what she's all about.

Madison: From a storytelling perspective, I have two sequels to Smoke and Mirrors planned out (one set during Alex's deployment in DOFP, then a shorter piece around the time of X-Men: Apocalypse), and of course I'm always open to writing new pieces as they come. From a character perspective, I see her continuing to settle back into domestic life, getting a place with Alex, and eventually starting a small woodworking business.

[awoowoof]

1. I'm honestly not sure, i relate to both.

2. i dabbled in the Therian community several years ago, but i quickly lost interest. i didn't relate to anyone and it felt like they were just playing at it. I've somewhat recently learned the term "kin for fun" and i suspect i stumbled into 1 of those areas of the internet by accident.

I've just been doing my own thing with it in the meantime. i was brought back to the general community by Tumblr, actually. i follow a blog that's unrelated to this and they reblogged the comic that's floating around about species dysphoria. it really struck something in me and i fell down a rabbit hole of nonhuman/alterhuman blogs. made me want to give it a try again.

3. uuuuuhhhhh... gear... i have a tail that a friend bought me. real fur fox tail. i probably should throw it out, tho. it's been in a mold-infested area for years now.

I'd honestly prefer to just make a yarn tail as close to my colors as possible. i found some yarn that's similar, but I'm chronically broke af and can't afford it. I'm not sure if it would even look how i want it to.

i did have a collar in highschool, but it was for cats, lol. it was pink with a little pink bell i took off. it looked horrendous because i attacked it with a sharpie, so it was all splotchy and bleh. I'm not a fan of pink or how narrow it was, but it's what i had. that was actually before i heard about Therians, much less alterhumans.

i have my eyes set on this suuuuuuper cheap black collar (like... $2) that I'll probably get at some point. add a dog tag to it that i can unclip and wear subtly when I'm out and about.

(edit: i had an opportunity and nabbed the collar! :D now I'm eyeing tags)

4. I've been like this for as long as i can remember. as far as the term, I've known about it for like... 2 months or so at this point? i identify more closely with nonhuman, tho. it just clicked with me when i first heard it. i consider "alterhuman" a more secondary term for myself.

5. i like watching and reading things with werewolves. the easiest way to get me to try something is to tell me there's werewolves, lmao. i really like jerky and things i can tear apart with my teeth.

I'm a quadrupedal werewolf, so i started doing quads when i was fairly young. i had no idea it was something already around, i just mimicked wolves. i had to stop for a while, tho, it was too stressful on my wrists. i picked it up again recently, just doing walks when i go to get something and such.

i tend to be fairly subtle with what i show to others, but i am absolutely living for some of the suggestions I've seen recently. I'd love to try some sometime

6. yes, holy shit. my teeth are such an important aspect to me and i had so many issues with brushing my teeth growing up (I've since figured out a work-around!) so i just... all the cavities. which means that every time they fix a tooth i have an entirely new distaste for how my mouth feels T^T they don't seem to care how it's shaped, just that there isn't a cavity anymore. my teeth are probably my largest source of (nonhuman) dysphoria.

lately, tho, I've been having some with my legs. they're far too long. I'm a quadruped, dag nabbit! how am i supposed to walk like this??? but it's not so bad unless I'm in a shift-y mood, since I'm also "human" shaped at times.

teeth are always, tho... always. it's so frustrating. those are my main 2, sometimes other things pop up and i view my trans-ness and alterhumanity as being fairly close/similar/linked, so they tend to blend together.

7. nah. closest i can think of is like... i can feel very puppy-like. but name and gender and all that... it's the same afaik

8. I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure what pet regression even is

9. I'm just werewolf, afaik. i can act very different at any given time, but afaik they're all just different expressions of my werewolf type. I'm still trying to sus out what exactly that is, tho

10. yes. I'm still learning about what all the different types of shifting are and all that, but at the very least, i feel my ("wolf") body aspects at times and i can sink really into the instinctual mindset or moods. sometimes i don't want to talk, just ~express~ things like it feels natural

11. just werewolf

12. I'm honestly not sure how the collar fits into things, but I'm surprised that I've never seen werewolves with dog collars in anything I've seen or read. seems like an excellent way of keeping track of packmates that get nabbed by Animal Control. even something as simple as military style dog tags on a chain could get you out of the pound and back with your pack, so I'm not sure why nobody's thought of it. just wear it under your shirt so that if you have a spontaneous transformation, it's ready to go

Kyr's alterhuman ask game!

🌲 - are you a wild or domestic animal? 🌺 - How did you find out you were alterhuman? 👑 - do you own any gear? If so, what is it? 🌥️ - how long have you identified as alterhuman? 🍂 - what are some of your favorite alterhuman-related activities? 💫 - do you experience species dysphoria? 🕊️ - does your kintype/theriotype go by a separate or different identity? (i.e. different name, age, gender, etc) 🧸 - do you experience pet regression? 🦋 - what are all your kintypes/theriotypes? 🍃 - do you shift? 👼 - Do you identify as/with other non-human creatures that aren't animals? ☄️ - other random therian/otherkin stuff!