#it made me cry the first time i saw episode 18 and its gonna make me cry again!

[dragonwithafez]

underrated re:zero quote is "you really don't mind that it's me?" "I want it to be you. I would not want it to be anyone else."

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[angstbabyjae]

DSMP Tier List

This tier list was shared in a discord server I’m in, so I thought I’d give it a go. Not entirely satisfied with the section titles, so I used them quite liberally. I will explain why I put people where I did. On the tier itself I didn’t order them by preference but in my explanation I will. Please not that they will be ranked from favorite to least favorite per category (for example: I put Sapnap technically above Niki despite liking her character more) and not by how much they deserve to be in each category (for example: I prefer Technoblade to Phil but I believe people excuse Technoblade’s actions more than Phil’s). I encourage healthy suggestion in the comments since I only joined the fandom around the Green Festival and haven’t seen the history/POV’s of every character, though I try. Enjoy.

Gonna slap on a big ol’ “/rp” here just to be safe.

You've done nothing wrong come here (holds you gently)

So the thing about this section is that I don't believe any dream smp character is completely innocent, so I used this section more like a top of tier than as it's title implies.

1. TommyInnit

Ngl, Tommy is my favorite character in the Dream SMP. As a fellow Loud Person I relate to him a lot and his feelings that nobody really likes him. His mental health struggles are close to my heart and (SPOILERS) his death just made me so devastated. I really hope they don't end his arc like this. Not when he was just starting to heal, please. Tommy has certainly done a lot of things wrong. I'd highly recommend watching the exile decision from both Tubbo and Tommy's POV's because you can really get a grasp of their mindsets. Despite this, he is my fave.

2. Ranboo

Until recently I preferred Tubbo to Ranboo, but cc!Ranboo just totally outdid himself on lore and acting to the point where I couldn't deny it anymore. Ranboo did do *some* things wrong, but they are less extreme than many on this list (I don't count things he might have done under Dream's control since he wasn't conscious). Ranboo's character makes me go into protecc mode. So yeah, very good enderboi.

3. Tubbo_

Tubbo doesn't have much lore for his character, but like I do with many others on this list, I like to overanalyze and interpret certain characters to be deeper than they are. The Tubbo I have in my head is a lot more complex than what cc!Tubbo probably meant to portray. There is so much angst potential with his character, similar to many others, but what puts him top tier for me is the emotional connection I have to his character and how I relate to getting so much put on my shoulders and having to make tough decisions.

you're an amazing character

Okay so technically Schlatt should be on this list if we are speaking from a narrative standpoint, but seeing as the way OP labelled the other sections on this chart I'm guessing they meant morally as well.

4. Alex Quackity

Quackity is my favorite adult character. I don't even know why, I just love the idea of this comic relief character becoming such a catalyst for plot and more serious as time goes on. I love taking the dream smp characters and making them deeper than they probably are, as I do with Tubbo, but now it seems cc!Quackity is fully taking his character to the height of his potential and I can't wait to see what he does with him next.

5. AweSamDude

(SPOILERS) As such a big Tommy fan I must admit, my first thought when Tommy died was that Sam was partly responsible. If Dream told him what he did to Tommy in exile like he claims then he would have at least put up the obsidian barrier between them or something. After watching Ranboo's most recent stream (right now it's March 3rd) I understand why Sam did what he did more. My initial anger towards him has dissipated a bit. I still love his character so much. He really did care about Tommy and now... dang. I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

6. Captain Puffy

It was very close between ranking her or Sam higher, but given all the in depth character stuff we're getting from Sam right now, I'd have to rank him above. Despite this, Puffy is a character that I started out not knowing anything about and am now feeling her climb the ranks in my books. Sometimes I feel like she's the only adult who actually put Tommy's well-being above other things, despite them not interacting often. I wasn't around for the whole "duckling" thing with Dream and have yet to watch the VODs, but I just want her to visit him now and punish him for the Tommy stuff. (SPOILERS) I can feel Dream's next ploy being trying to convince someone to let him out in exchange for bringing back Tommy and if Sam doesn't cave then Puffy probably will. Also, I really hope that her and Niki's relationship isn't forgotten. There's so much angst potential there. Also, I need sapphics to survive.

7. Eret

So, I wasn't a fan of the SMP during season one. I hadn't even heard of it except for like my friend referencing Technoblade now and then. After watching some VODs of Eret's I am slowly starting to fall in love with her characterization. I am so soft for their redemption arc, for the regret he feels. Now that cc!Eret is back from their mental health break I am so ready for more.

8. Fundy

Fundy's a character that I will forget how much I love until he goes live again, or until I reread his old quotes. He has a lot of lore to him that surprises you every time you remember. Whether its his last speech to Schlatt to COCONUT 2020, Fundy always gives the audience something more to think about.

9. "Ghostbur"

Ghostbur is one of the few characters who genuinely make me want to cry. cc!Wilbur's performance was both hilarious and immaculate. I really want to find out more about his lore, though. Do all dead people with unfinished business get an alternate version of themselves to roam the Earth while you stay in the afterlife unable to make contact unless the veil is thin? Was Ghostbur just Wilbur pretending the whole time? (SPOILERS) Is Tommy going to get one? Is Glatt canon? Much to think about.

10. BadBoyHalo

While I despise egg-possessed BBH, normal BBH has my entire heart. The fact he gave up his mind for Skeppy is *chef's kiss*. I am very impressed with everything cc!BBH is writing right now.

11. Karl Jacobs

My second favorite polyamorous dimension hopper after Star Butterfly (let me have Startomco please)! TFTSMP just gets better and better each week. His time travel shenanigans are so fun and mysterious. Karlnapity is just a big ol' pot of angst just waiting to happen. WEDDING SOON PLEASE!

no intense opinion

While I do have opinions on some of these characters, they aren't intense enough to place them anywhere else.

12. Ponk

I don't watch him all that often since he's live during my school time, but what I've seen I love. Him starting that whole side plot expanding on that one TFTSMP episode intrigues me and I can see it tying into the egg somehow. Him and Sam are really cute together (/rp) and I want him to become more plot relevant again.

13. Antfrost

GAY CAT GAY CAT GAY CAT! In all seriousness, I really want him to do stuff with his character to make him more than just BBH's second-in-command (I have similar feelings with Skeppy, but I know he isn't very big on lore). Side note, but I really love the hc that RedVelvetCake is inside the egg. I want him to join so bad.

14. Purpled

I've only just started watching the actual clips from pre-L'Manberg times and Purpled was once much more plot involved than I thought. Him planning on getting his revenge on Tommy at the same time as the "police" investigating the Camarvan back in early season one was comedy gold. Shout out to BlueberryTV on YouTube for making it so easy to watch. In conclusion, we stan an underage mercenary.

15. GeorgeNotFound

Idk if this is a hot take or not, but I feel a good portion of people who love George's character are just DNF shippers who want to turn his crumbs into an angst factory, but you know what? Valid. While I am not a DNF shipper, I have seen the angst y'all have brought to the table and very much appreciate it.

16. ConnorEatsPants

The most I think I've seen of Connor has been the hostage scene and the non-canon party scene from this season. I don't have much to say except that his small speech to Tommy after he was let go about him not being a bad person despite traumatizing him hit surprisingly hard in the feels.

17. Skeppy

cc!Skeppy is not a big roleplayer, and I get that, it's just sometimes his character feels a little like an accessory to Bad's character. Please link me some good Skeppy moments in the comments if you can, I want to try and learn more about his character. His angst with Bad right now is top tier, though, and I choose to believe that Big Daddy Island is canon and that Bad took him there to keep him free from the egg. I actually wrote a fic about this if you want to check it out! Mind the tags, though, I went a little macabre with it.

18. HBomb

When I first learned about the SMP it was two nights before the green festival and I was up until 3am at my aunt's house reading the plot summary. The first clip of the smp I saw was the election VOD, where HBomb joined for the first time. I don't know much about him other than the fact he was Fundy's maid for a time and it was absolutely hilarious. I saw the recent stuff with him leaving Greater SMP to start over and enjoyed it. Hope we get more stuff like that with him.

19. Callahan

Gets all the ladies. What else can I say?

you're trying your best and I respect that

20. Sapnap

I put Sapnap here because he's on his way to becoming an amazing character. The angst stuff with Dream is the stuff George fans can only dream of (pun unintended). I like how he went from the cop, the pet killer, Dream's right hand man, to mushroom cottegecore gay living his best life and dealing with the pain of losing his best friend. The whole "Dream's bitch" conversation with Tommy that I saw an animatic for some time ago made me hurt so good. Also #KarlnapityWedding2021.

you're redeemable, thin fucking ice though

These are characters who I somewhat dislike to a degree, but still have hope for. In my opinion this section should be switched with the one after it in terms of which is worse, but oh well.

21. Wilbur Soot

I know he's already dead but if he's brought back to life I want a redemption arc from him back. (SPOILERS) If neither him nor Tommy come back to life then dsmp has a horrible track record with killing off their mentally ill and (tw) suicidal characters. Wilbur has done some awful things, but if he's brought back I don't think he'd be beyond saving.

22. Jack Manifold

I need to say something about Jack. He is so very very close to being in the "you're trying your best" section right now after his most recent stream. His redemption arc is so close I can taste it and if he is redeemed right I can see him joining my faves. His most recent stream was just so well acted that my heart just wants to forgive him already... until my brain remembers he tried to nuke a child. Don’t know if this is also a hot take, but I think he had more of a right to be mad at Tommy than Niki did, but I know for Niki it's more complicated than that.

23. Niki Nihachu

There was a time that I adored Niki Nihachu and a part of me still does, but she has gone a little bit off the deep end. I do understand it's a trauma response, though. cc!Niki said that her villain arc is almost over, which disappointed me a bit because we kinda barely got to see it since it was so overshadowed, but I am also relieved. I just want my wlw baker back :(

people excuse your actions more than you deserve

I am just going to pretend that this section doesn't say "love". I still like these characters a lot even though they get away with a lot of shit.

24. Technoblade

I love Technoblade too much for him to be ranked this low, but like I said this ranking is based on fitting the section descriptions, not how much I love them. Technoblade's POV is understandable but also that doesn't excuse the pain he's caused so many people. L'Manberg was more than it's a government as much as Techno is more than a weapon.

25. Philza Minecraft

Philza deserves to be in this section a little less than Technoblade because I actually agree with a lot of what Philza fans say. Tommy is not Philza's kid. Phil has a lot of trauma around killing Wilbur, yes. I just don't see how you could watch Ghostbur's Friend speech during Doomsday and think he was in the right for doing it.

i don't like you

26. JSchlatt

JSchlatt is an amazing character in many ways. The acting? Glorious. The dialogue? Spot on. With that being said, YAYY HE'S DEAD!!! I really like leaning into the abusive relationship hc with him and his cabinet. He was probably the most fun villain we've ever had, though.

I WANT THIS MOTHER FUCKER DEAD

27. DreamWasTaken

Come on, do I even have to explain?

[theadusa]

All the dramas I’ve watched in 2020

These are all the dramas that I watched in 2020, with some review there should be NO Spoilers. I think I watched a lot more than usual probably because what else am I supposed to do between school and quarantine. So this is gonna be a long one...

Crash Landing on You (Lee Jung-hyo, 2019-2020)

Main Leads: Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin

Episodes: 16, 70 to 110 Minutes 

Thoughts: I enjoyed this drama, and it was a good one to start 2020 with. I thought it was a perfect blend of romance, comedy, heartfelt, found family, action, and some tragedy. I would highly recommend it, especially for those who are new to Kdramas. Also fun fact this is my first Hyun Bin drama. Rating: Fun and adorable

Tale of Nokdu (Kim Dong-hwi, 2019)

Main Leads: Jang Dong Yoon and Kim So Hyun

Episodes: 32, 35 minutes

Thoughts: I actually started watching this when it was airing but I stopped around episode 13 because of my busy schedule and finished it in the new year. I adore the main couple, the romance, comedy, the found family, and the women center story. I thought it shined the brightest when it was focused on the group and its funny and warm moments but once it got too political it kinda fell flat. I loved the ending, however. Also, I really like Jang Dong Young as an actor, I saw him in Solomon’s Perjury (2016) and Mr. Sunshine (2018) and I loved how he played Nok Du too. Rating: I love a women’s only widow village

I’ll Find You When The Weather is Nice (Han Ji-seung, 2020)

Main Leads: Seo Kang Joon and Park Min Young

Episodes: 16, 60 minutes 

Thoughts: I really liked this drama, probably one of my favorites this year. As you will notice I enjoy quieter and more slow-burn stories. Also, I am a fan of Park Min Young she tends to pick more interesting and strong-willed female roles, so it is really enjoyable to watch.  Rating: makes me want to own a book store.

King: The Eternal Monarch (Kim Eun-sook, 2020)

Main Leads: Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun

Episodes: 16, 70 Minutes

Thoughts: Confession; I am actually not the biggest fan of Lee Min Ho, nothing against him I just hate rich bratty characters and he tends to play them. However, I surprisingly really liked his character, he wasn’t a rich brat he actually was likable. I also really like Kim Go Eun, she is actually one of the main reasons why I watched and also with all the hype around it. Woo Do Hwan, who I have always liked, stole the whole show, however. I didn’t hate it like a lot of people, I really liked the characters, I liked the romance and the action. Also, Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun’s hugs were absolutely fabulous. It wasn’t my favorite and there were too many product placements, but I don’t think it was the worst drama this year. Rating: Lukewarm 

A Piece of your mind (Lee Sang-yeob, 2020)

Main Leads: Jung Hae In and Chae Soo Bin

Episodes: 12, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I actually really liked this drama despite the low views, again I’m big on slow burn stories and character focus. I believe the episodes were cut from 16 to 12 I don’t know exactly why maybe because of the Pandemic or due to viewership or a mixture of both. Despite its being cut short I really liked the ending, and I thought the two leads were sweet. Rating: Wish we had more time to develop the characters.

Its Okay not to be Okay (Park Shin Woo, 2020) 

Main Leads: Kim Soo Hyun and Seo Yea Ji and Oh Jung Se 

Episodes: 16, 70 to 85 minutes

Thoughts: Out of all the dramas I talked the most about this one. I have always been a fan of Seo Yea Ji since Save Me (2017) and Lawless Lawyer (2018) and I am happy to see her getting more recognition because of this role. The entire cast was amazing and I think I cried every episode. Such a good and heart-wrenching drama which is why I chose to watch it before work every time. Rating: I would let Seo Yea Ji stab me with a knife anytime.

Mystic Pop up bar (Jeon Chang-geun, 2020) 

Main Leads: Hwang Jung Eum and Yook Sung Jae and Choi Won Young

Episodes: 12, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I actually watched this while I was watching Its Okay Not to Be Okay and it was a nice balance to it because this was more of a found family story with less heartbreaking moments. Though it did have its share of heartbreak. I really liked all the characters and their relationship. Also, I am a sucker for bureaucratic fantasy/ magic, and kdramas are so good at it. Rating: I wish it was 16 episodes. 

When the Camila Bloom (Cha Yeong Hoon, 2019) 

Main Leads: Gong Hyo Jin and Kang Ha Neul

Episodes: 20, 63 to 75 minutes

Thoughts: I liked the story overall, the romance was cute and the mystery was interesting but I thought the family expectations was the best part of the story. This was not my favorite drama, but it was enjoyable and heartfelt. I watched it right after It's Okay Not to Be Okay and while I was watching Flower of Evil (2020) which probably is why I was so underwhelmed by it. Rating: Sweet romance and adorable found family.

Flower of Evil (Kim Cheol Kyu, 2020) 

Main Leads: Lee Joon Gi and Moon Chae Won

Episode:16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: This was my favorite drama of this year. I went into this drama not thinking much of it, and I mainly watched it as a post drama blues drama. It was an action and thriller which I mainly don’t get attached to plus I am a huge fan of Lee Joon Gi. I should have known better, I cared so much about all the characters, the acting phenomenal, also every time they showed their hands I cried. This drama left me shriveled and empty inside. Rating: Lee Joon Gi will literally kill me one day. 

Put Your Head On My Shoulders (Zhu Dongning, 2019) 

Main Leads: Xing Fei and Lin Yi 

Episodes: 24, 40 to 45 minutes

Thoughts: This is the first Chinese drama on this list. I thought it was cute, I liked the couple and thought it was alright. I started to dislike the male lead later in the series but it was overall fine. It was basic and sweet with very little drama. Rating: It did its job.

The School Nurse Files ( Lee Kyoung Mi, 2020)

Main Leads: Jung Yu Mi and Nam Joo Hyuk

Episodes: 6,  45 to 57 minutes

Thoughts: This is probably my second favorite drama. I couldn’t tell what happened in the drama but I loved it. I thought it was weird and fascinating, and just so magical. I loved the children and just how the whole school was just off its rocker. I also think that Nam Joo Hyuk does really well in serious roles, and I thought he did a really good job here. Rating: 1 jelly heart.  

Mr. Heart (Park Sun Jae, 2020) 

Main Leads: Cheon Seung Ho and Lee Se Jin

Episodes: 8, 11 Minutes

Thoughts: This was 8 episodes of start fluff and I adored it. Apparently, it is apart of a BL series by Park Sun Jae and there is a movie version that I haven’t watched. If you want to destress and watch just fluff this is the show for you. Rating: If it is any sweeter I would be going to the dentist. 

You are My Destiny ( Ding Ying Zhou, 2020) 

Main Leads: Xing Zhao Lin  and Liang Jie

Episodes: 36, 45 minutes

Thoughts: I hated this drama, I thought it was the worst thing ever. I don’t know why I even watched all 36 episodes. Apparently, it is a remake of a popular 2008 Twaniese drama Fated to Love You and there is a Korean remake of it as well. I have watched neither of them, so I was brand new to this story. I hated, despised the male lead. He was whiny, entitled, and an asshole. The only good part of the drama was the male and female lead actually had a lot of chemistry, unfortunately, they are playing awful characters. Rating: This was made in 2020???

First Romance (Ding Pei, 2020) 

Main Leads: Wan Peng and Riley Wang

Episodes: 24, 45 Minutes

Thoughts: This is another Chinese drama. Similar to Mr. Heart (2020) this show was super fluffy. I really liked the main couple they seem to respect each other and they both had adorable crushes on each other. I loved the whole dumb jock and dumb artist dynamic it was so funny. Rating: Cute!!! 

Lost Romance ( Eri Hao, 2020) 

Main Leads: Marcus Chang and Vivian Sung

Episodes: 20, 70 minutes 

Thoughts: This is the only Twainese drama on this list. I think I liked this drama, I actually only remember very little of this drama. I like the CEO in the real world more than the book world, and I also really liked the female lead except she lowkey stalked the CEO like that was not okay. Rating: I think I liked it???

When We Were Young ( Deng Ke, Liu Guo Hui, 2018)

Main Leads: Neo Hou and Wan Peng and Gala Zhang and Pan Mei and Ye Marcus Li

Episodes: 24, 45 minutes

Thoughts: I really liked this film, I loved all the characters and thought it was all very heartfelt. I cried like a baby, and Hua Biao was such a touching and relatable character. And the whole grandma story hit so close to home. Rating: Made me cry like a baby.

Moment of 18 ( Sim Na Yeon, 2019)

Main Leads: Ong Seong Wu and Kim Hyang Gi

Episodes: 16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I really liked this drama, and I thought the romance was so cute. I also really liked the relationship between the moms and was sad that the rich mom was a bitch and ruined the friendship. I also wasn’t a big fan of the ending, but I loved the rest of it. Rating: The main lead is part of a boy group because he had a random singing moment. 

Perfect and Casual ( Li Shuang, 2020) 

Main Leads: Miles Wei and Xu Ruo Han

Episodes: 24, 45 minutes

Thoughts: This is another Chinese drama on this list. I’m pretty sure it's considered an Idol drama so that sets your expectations. I really liked this drama a lot, I am a big fan of contract marriages and I thought the leads were so cute together. Also, this is the first contract marriage drama where the leads don’t break up which I like. A lot of the drama came from outside of the relationship. Rating: You can’t analyze love.

Le Coup De Foudre ( Wang Zhi, 2019) 

Main Leads: Janice Wu and Zhang Yujian

Episodes: 35, 45 minutes

Thoughts: My favorite Chinese drama on this list. I loved this drama, I thought it was sweet and simple and the main couple was so realistic. Unpopular opinion I disliked the second couple and the best friend I thought she was annoying and brattish. However, I adore the main couple and their relationship. Rating: Realistic sweet romance. 

More Than Friends ( Choi Sung Bum, 2020)

Main Leads: Ong Seong Wu and Shin Ye Eun

Episodes: 16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I enjoyed the overall story and characters. I loved the group and their relationships. Also, Young-Hee made me cry, and her relationship with Hyun Jae was so sweet. The main leads were also sweet, and I related a lot to Lee So. I just didn’t like the back and forth. Rating: How many times can we break up in a drama. 

Be With You ( Zhou Miao, 2020) 

Main Leads: Ji Xiao Bing and Zhang Ya-Qin

Episodes: 24, 45 minutes

Thoughts: This is the last Chinese drama I watched this year. It was alright, the romance was sweet, I really like the female lead, and the male lead was nice to look at. It was okay. Also, the second couple was so ??? She was his boss, enemy, and older than him, what?? Rating: Sometimes you need to fall in love to be creative. 

Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo ( Kim Kyu Tae, 2016) 

Main Leads: Lee Joon Gi and Lee Ji Eun (IU) 

Episodes: 20, 60 minutes

Thoughts: I know I am really late watching this, but I finally did. I went in knowing this would hurt me and Lee Joon Gi already scared me this year ( damn this man) so I was fully prepared. I really wasn’t,  it so much. (SPOIlERS) When Wang Eun and Park Soon Deok died I sob like a baby (SPOILER ENDING). It took me a long time to finish this show because its heart so much, like it physically hurt me. The show was really good, and heartbreaking, and the ending stabs me in the heart 20 times. Rating: Lee Joon Gi is trying to kill me with tears. 

Persona ( Lee Kyoung Mi, Yim Pil Sung, Jeon Go Woon, and Kim Jong Kwan, 2019) 

Main Leads: Lee Ji Eun (IU) 

Episodes: 4, 19 to 27

Thoughts: This is a collection of mini-films by directors. 4 separate stories are starring Lee Ji Eun. I thought all of them good, especially “ Kiss Burn” and “Walking at Night.” There isn’t much else to this, more than it is an artistic display of filmmaking. Rating: Hipster Kdrama

Come and Hug Me ( Choi Joon-bae, 2018) 

Main Leads: Jang Ki-Yong and Jin Ki-Joo

Episodes: 32, 35 minutes

Thoughts: I actually just finished this show today. I really liked it, I thought it was both sweet and heartwarming/wrenching. I hated that one journalist and the public like why are they blaming a victim. I didn’t watch it with my full mind because I’ve been distracted lately, but I did enjoy it. Rating: another cute but sad couple. 

Movies I watched this year: 

Spell Bound ( Hwang In Ho, 2011)

Main Cast: Son Ye Jin and Lee Min Ki

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Thoughts: I watched this at like 12 am after a bad day and it was cute. I love RomCom fantasy, which I think Korean media does really well. I don’t know what else to say except it is a really cute romance. Rating: Is it the ghost or the butterflies

The Host ( Bong Joon Ho, 2006)

Main Cast: Song Kang Ho and Byun Hee Bong and Park Hae Il and Bae Doona and Go, Ah Sung

Running Time: 119

Thoughts: This film I had to actually watch for class. It was a really good film which is expected from Bong Joon Ho. I love monster films and I thought this was a good rendition of this film. Also, The monster was so cool especially from 2006. I thought it was heartbreaking, stirring, and so beautifully shot. Rating: Oscar-worthy Direction 

Little Forest ( Yim Soon-rye, 2018) 

Main Cast: Kim Tae Ri  and Ryu Jun Yeol and Moon So Ri and Jin Ki Joo

Running Time: 103 minutes

Thoughts: I really, really liked this film. It reminded me so much of I’ll Find You When The Weather is Nice (2020) that I thought that it was based on this film but it isn’t. I have watched this film 3 times since October and every time I watch it have made bread. I really just love everything about this film, how quiet it is, the cinematography, the acting, just everything. Rating: Three loaves of bread. 

Always ( Song Il Gon, 2011)

Main Cast: So Ji Sub and Han Hyo Joo

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Thoughts: I thought it was okay, I watched it while I was knitting so I was distracted a bit. But I thought the couple was sweet, and the characters were interesting. Rating: It's Okay.

       Currently watching 

True Beauty ( Kim Sang-hyeop, 2020-) 

Main Cast: Moon Ga Young and Cha Eun Woo and Hwang In Yeop

Episodes: 16, 70 minutes 

Thoughts: This is currently an ongoing series that is actually really popular. Apparently, it is based on a webtoon, which I haven’t read. I like it so far, I always liked Moon Ga Young and I think she is a great actress. She plays Im Ju Kyung in a likable and insecure way, instead of someone annoying which could easily happen. I will be continuing watching. Rating so far: Okey dokey yo.

Live On ( Kim Sang-woo, 2020-) 

Main Cast: Jung Da Bin and Hwang Min Hyun

Episodes: 8?, 60 Minutes

Thoughts: I really Like this show. The main couple is sweet and supportive. I really like the female lead, I like that she is cold and kinda quiet, but with a sweet spot if you are not a dick. I really like the main relationship conflict comes from friendship instead of romance, I think it makes the show more interesting. Rating: I want to Join a Broadcast group.  

On My List: 

I actually don’t have anything else on my list so if anyone has recommendations please tell me. I am thinking about watching Mr. Queen ( 2020) because I really like Shin Hye Sun. I also want to watch Sweet Home (2020) the Netflix series. But please recommend me some dramas!!!

This is such a long list, and I had fun doing it and going back over all the dramas. I hope everyone has a good New year and that we will have many more good dramas in 2021!

[raveneira]

Since Yashahime is such a dumpster fire Im just gonna rewrite the sequel to what I THINK would have been the better alternative to the whole SessRin situation and also some story elements that could really be improved and would make this series alot better.

For starters, if we HAD to go the SessRin route then I would make it take place 21 years after the end of final act, Kagome was 18 when she returned to the feudal era and 3 years had passed at the end of the final act which made her 21, Rin should have been about 11-12 at that point, if we count 21 years from then, Kagome would be 42 while Rin would be 32-33, meaning when the twins were born Rin was 18-19, I know that might make ppl a bit uncomfortable still but atleast she would be a legitimate adult where you can atleast say "alright...Im KIND of ok with this, I still dont like it but atleast she is technically an adult capable of consenting and not a literal child being taken advantage of"

Thats if they HAD to go the SessRin route, then I would atleast make it done tastefully where it doesnt promote pedophilia, plus the old gang being in their 40s wouldnt be that big a deal because they'd still be capable of fighting.

Now for my PERSONAL take on how the sequel should have taken place, SessRin wouldnt happen at all, because the beauty of their relationship stemmed from this ruthless cold hearted demon who hated humans, learned to love and care for a small child to the point of nearly crying when he thought he lost her for good, there are all different kinds of love and the love Sesshomaru had for Rin was pure and innocent. He was someone she adored as her savior and caretaker and she was someone he cared for and wanted to protect, to me that bond was far more impactful and meaningful than anything romantic or sexual building up between them, but simply two people whom the other simply cannot live without because they mean THAT much to eachother. Such a pure and sweet relationship did NOT need to be twisted into a romantic and sexual light. Rin could have continued to adore Sesshomaru and he could have continued to check up on her and bring her gifts as he did in the final act until Rin decided she wanted to travel with him again.

Now onto the rewrite, as I stated SessRin WOULDNT happen and their bond would remain as it was in the OG series, so who would be the twins mother? well if we HAD to go the half demon route to show Sesshomaru's development full circle, and we didnt wanna undo Kagura's death because it was a critical moment for Sesshomaru's development, there were several other routes that could have been taken.

1 Create a new character and develop her over the course of Yashahime through a series of flashbacks as we unravel the mystery of what happened to everyone through the girls travels. If you want to go the angsty route you could have her die giving birth and have Rin raise them as a sort of surrogate mother figure, kind of like Clementine with AJ.

2 Use an already established character, one possibility being Nazuna, a human girl that debuted back in the early OG series, she had black hair and black eyes but as we see from Yashahime, the girls clearly didnt inherit their mothers looks as in the OG series Rin's hair was black and her eyes are brown while Setsuna's hair is brown and she has blue/purple eyes while Towa has red eyes, features that neither of their parents have. They also have a random red streak in their hair for some reason. 

So based on this, Nazuna would be a good possible candidate as she was a teenager in the OG series and would be an adult by the end of the series when she would give birth. [Correct me if Im wrong about her age but she looks like a teenager, but if Im wrong then I would just adjust the timeline to where she would be an adult at the time she gives birth]

Another potential candidate would be Momiji, true she may have been anime only but since this is an anime only sequel she is a plausible candidate. She has red/auburn hair which would explain the strange red streak in the twins hair. Like Nazuna, she was a teenager in the OG series so she would also be an adult by the time she'd conceive and give birth.

Another candidate would be Kaname Kururugi, a game exclusive character, but the fact that they went through the trouble of creating a complete OC and fleshed out her backstory to such a degree and allowed her to build relationships with established characters, including Sesshomaru, its safe to say they could have incorperated her into the anime canon considering they already had an established foundation they could have just built off of and meshed it into the anime. Plus she has brown hair and blue/purple eyes just like Setsuna.

Now that we have all the potential candidates, who's the one that seems the most plausible? In my opinion, I would personally go the Kaname route because she has such a deep and fleshed out backstory and they actually took the time to even animate scenes specifically for this game, so she does TECHNICALLY make an appearance in the anime, just not in an actual episode. And just like Kagome, she could have grown fond of the feudal era as well and wished to go back and somehow found a way to do so at the end of the Final act or maybe a month or year later after Kagome returned.

So going with the Kaname route, I'll begin my rewrite.

Being as Sesshomaru hasnt seen her since she was 15 like Kagome and vanished for several years, when he finally sees her again she will now be 18-19 when they reunite and a relationship would start to build and ensue.

Continuing where the game left off, Kaname would continue on with her normal life as Kagome did and eventually graduate when she is 18. She would still often think about her time in the feudal era and miss all the people she spent time with and bonded with there, one person specifically being Sesshomaru.

^ A refresher for those who forgot the Sesshomaru ending.

As she comes home from graduation, another Doll Festival of Wishes is being held and it reminds her of Sesshomaru whom she wishes to see again, she goes and buys one of the dolls and writes his name on it as she did when she first returned home, thinking to herself that its no use and is probably a waste of time, but with what little hope she has left, she does the ritual anyway.

Afterwards she goes over to her father to help him with the festival, who like last time asks her to go get something from the storehouse. As she enters the storehouse, the hole in which she fell through before has been patched up, as she walks through the storehouse, she walks on the patched up floor which caves in when she walks on it and she is once again transported to the feudal era.

She once again lands in a forest not far from where Kaede lives, as she wakes up, she is greeted by Sesshomaru, who had saw her unconscious on his way to visit Rin and watched over her till she woke up. Overjoyed and also in disbelief, she hugs him which surprises Sesshomaru who isnt used to recieving this type of affection but he doesnt push her away, nor does he reciprocate by hugging her back.

As she lets go she tells him how much she missed him and everyone there, then, noticing Rin wasnt with him, asks him where she was, worried that something might have happened to her. He reassures her that Rin is fine and that he was just on his way to visit her at Kaede's village which relieves Kaname. She goes with Sesshomaru back to Kaede's village where she reunites with everyone much to their surprise but they are all very happy to see her again.

Anyway Im not gonna do a play by play step by step storytelling so Im just gonna mention the main story beats and you guys can fill in the blanks for yourself.

Anyway after the happy reunion and catching up, Sesshomaru prepares to leave back on his travels which saddens Kaname who had longed to see him again and only got to be reunited with him a short time. Reluctant to be apart from him again, she asks, or rather insists he allows her to come with him on his travels. He tells her that if she comes with him it'll be a dangerous journey for her, she replies confidently that she can take care of herself and promises to not be a burden to him. Reluctant but not willing to argue, he tells her to do as she wishes and flies off. Kaname hops on A-Un and soon follows, and the two begin their travels together.

Thats pretty much how'd we leave off the final act, atleast a month or two after, you can decide your own timeline.

As for what happened on their journey and how their relationship developed will be shown through a series of flashbacks over the course of Yashahime as we solve more of the mysteries.

In episode 15, we'd get the same flashback but with Kaname being the one to give birth to the twins with Rin, Kagome, Sango, and Kaede there for her as support. It is said that when Sesshomaru and Kaname found out she was pregnant, he brought her back to the village where she could have a safe pregnancy and birth. Of course Sesshomaru isnt the mushy type to stay there with her through her pregnancy, but he does visit from time to time when giving gifts to Rin but also goes to check on her and see how she’s doing, although he doesnt admit thats what he’s doing.

After the twins were born, everything plays out relatively the same, but instead of just taking the twins without a word to her, he atleast reassures her that he's taking them someplace safe from harm, although he cant explain to her right now what that harm is, Kaname says she trusts him.

As I said, things play out relatively the same after that.

As for Rin, what exactly happens with her? well if we MUST pair her off with someone, it should be Kohaku, someone she has an established relationship and bond with that is closer to her age. Whether or not they have kids I'll leave up to you to decide, but I like the idea of Kohaku having a little demon slayer son to carry on their legacy. It would be interesting seeing his bond with Setsuna since Rin would essentially be like a sister figure for the twins although they dont remember her, it would be interesting and sweet to see Setsuna develop a bond with their son who for the sake of simplifying things, we'll call him Korin.

Korin, if we want Rin to be an adult at the time she gives birth, would be 4 years after Kaname gives birth to the twins when Rin is 18-19, making Korin 10 in the present. Like the twins, Korin has no memories of his mother since she was sealed away in a tree for whatever reason, so the only mother figure he's ever had has been Setsuna, which would be an interesting dynamic to explore since it would be similar to how Sesshomaru filled a parental role for Rin who didnt have anyone at the time.

Moroha would NOT be this uncaring about her parents, infact she would be insanely curious, maybe even furious wanting to figure out why they abandoned her and vanished without a word since nobody seems to have told her anything that happened. She would want answers and wouldnt stop until she gets them. The OG crew if we MUST have this mystery drawn out, would tell her that it would be better if she found out the truth for herself and that any answers they give her wouldnt be the answers she wants. So Moroha's driving force in the story wouldnt be about some stupid bounty hunting debt, although she could still be a bounty hunter, but her main motivation would be trying to discover the truth about her parents and why they abandoned her.

Also this BS with Koga giving her up would NOT happen, it just wouldnt, that is BEYOND OOC for him to do and I will not be having it. Instead, Koga would be IN character and not let Moroha out of his sight, he would treat her like kin like the rest of the wolf demon tribe, maybe even give her special treatment because of her connection to Kagome. Koga would train Moroha himself, not going easy on her because he wants her to be strong enough to fend for herself, concerned because of her being a quater demon and having her demon powers sealed, he’s hard on her to toughen her up to not have to rely on it. 

If we must include Yawaragi, then she would be sort of a bodyguard assigned to watch over Moroha by Koga for when he cant. The storyline of the rat armor would still relatively be the same but instead of selling Moroha off to some shady bounty hunter which Koga would never allow or forgive her for doing, she simply introduces him to her as a long time friend, Moroha would take interest in the bounty hunting business as an opporunity for training, and potentially finding info on her parents since Jyubei seems to have alot of connections and intel that’ll be useful in her journey. Yawaragi instead of pursuing the key alone would bring Moroha with her when they are approached by the shady demon whos name I cant be bothered to remember, he blackmails her with the key telling her to fight Moroha if she wants it, Moroha scoffs at this telling him that she wouldnt do that and that they’ll both fight him together to get the key instead, but to her surprise Yawaragi attacks her.

Everything plays out relatively the same, Moroha is hurt at her betrayal and lashes out at her. Yawaragi, like in the episode uses this fight as one final lesson for Moroha, with full intention on dying by the end of it. Moroha is hesitant to fight her because she still cares about her as she was like a second mentor and somewhat mother figure to her. So to get Moroha to fight seriously she lies to her by saying that everything was a lie and that she never cared about her etc I wont go into a ton of detail, Moroha is reluctant to believe her but is eventually convinced when she attacks her full power, seemingly with the intent to kill her. This pushes Moroha to fight seriously as well, remembering what she taught her about using her clever thinking and successfully strikes her down. 

After this she goes over to her and Yawaragi admits to lying to her so that she would fight because she knew chances are the shady demon wouldnt have given her the key and since the rat armor was close to killing her anyway she decided she would rather die by Moroha’s hands rather than being crushed to death by the armor. Moroha would be devestated and guiltridden since she is the reason she was in the cursed armor to begin with, but Yawaragi reassures her that it isnt her fault and that it was her own negligence to see through the trap that resulted in this outcome. As a reward for defeating her, she gives Moroha her sword [yes Moroha wouldnt have her sword until now] and tells her to get stronger with it so that she wouldnt have to rely on her rouge, but win using her own strength. Moroha promises her that she will and Yawaragi passes away shortly after that. Everything plays out relatively the same after that.

As for the twins their motivations can mostly stay the same, but they also wouldnt be so uncaring about their parents, or specifically Towa wouldnt. Towa would be furious at her father and want to find him and maybe even kill him for abandoning them and causing them to be separated with seemingly no regard for their safety. Setsuna can maintain her non caring attitude, but given Towa's upbringing in the modern era, it makes sense for her to be furious at her birth father's neglect after experiencing what a loving home and father feels like.

As for what happened to Kaname, like I said you could go the angsty route where she died giving birth, or you could have her be kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip to blackmail Sesshomaru into doing the enemies bidding. You could have it where Sesshomaru was able to prevent Rin from falling into the enemies hands but not Kaname. Or maybe Kaname sacrificed herself for Rin, agreeing to go with the enemy in exchange for them sparing Rin, which is what leads Sesshomaru to sealing Rin in the tree to prevent them from potentially coming back for her. You guys can come up with your own conclusions there, these are just some scenerios off the top of my head. But for the sake of the rewrite we'll go with Kaname being kidnapped and used to blackmail Sesshomaru.

I’ll make an actual rewrite in a separate post with how I would PERSONALLY make the sequel, this post is just me tweaking and making slight alterations to the way Sunrise chose to write the sequel, the separate post would be how I feel the sequel could have played out instead for the better.

[b-rainlet]

Gotham for the fandom ask thingy.

(I ran here so fuckin fast you have no clue)

Hello anon! :D I will answer this now, so you don't have to wait any longer but also....this would be very nice to answer through gifsets...(maybe when I am feeling up for it).

For now, have this:

(It's not proof read because I just sat at this for several hours and I don't wanna look at it anymore).

Favourite Male Character

You mean...besides the obvious answers?? :D

Ngl, it's S2 Jerome. I love that little twink with his parental issues and his tragic backstory and I wanna see him happy. There's a reason I have a bunch of AUs where he ends up having a family (mostly in the form of Lee as his Mother) and gets some actual help instead of being ostracized for being a mentally ill person snapping after years of abuse.

(This also ties into my very strong feelings regarding the fact that nobody actually helps the people at Arkham. And I don't mean the main villains there, I mean all the inmates who get treated like shit and are left behind on the regurlar (remember in S2 when Arkham was about to explode and nobody was talking about evacuating the inmates???? I do).

Other than that, one of my faves is also Jonathan. Which may be a little surprising because I barely talk about him but he was my favourite character throughout the show and he had way too little scenes.

(Kinda telling that the characters I latched onto are both helpless teens who were fucked over by the people who were supposed to protect them and can both trace their villain origin story back to Jim Gordon not caring enough about them lmao).

But the cast is big and varied enough that I actually like everyone? Butch, Zsazs, Penguin, S1 and 2 Ed, Jervis, Harvey, Jim......I like them all!!

(Special shoutout to 514A too, he was soft and baby and I wanted to keep him safe and sound really desperately).

(Another special shoutout to Barnes!! I didn't expect to like him when I first saw him, given he looked like he was gonna be mean and stoic and all, but I ended up really liking him and his story!)

Favourite Female Character

Let's just pretend Ecco doesn't exist for this answer ajdkaskaslj.

I fell in love immediately upon seeing Ecco but all! the women! are so!!! good!!!!

I especially have a soft spot for the side characters. I mean, upon first watching I got attached to Alice (even though she only features in two episodes lmao), and also Kristen Kringle - who isn't talked about much within Fandom, but she was pretty and her and Ed were actually quite cute but then she had to die for him to become the Riddler which was...pretty much telling us from the beginnning 'The woman here die to advance the men's plots'.

Barbara was also a big surprise to me because I figured she'd be the female love interest and nothing more but!! her and Jerome were the best thing in S2 and also the most entertaining thing about the Maniax Plot. (In several ways, I think I had the most fun watching this show during S2 , it was just. Good).

Also upon being in this Fandom and thinking about certain characters a bit longer I also really like Vicky Vale. And Montoya. And I wish they had kept both around for longer.

(I also wish they wouldn't have made Vicky a love interest for Jim. Or Sofia. No love interests for Jim except Lee and Barbara please).

Also Selina!! I love both Selina and Tabitha with all my heart - which may also be surprising because I barely ever talk about Tabby but I contain multitudes aklskddsm, and while I like sharing my horny thoughts about Ecco, I also love to think about Tabby and daydream about her being happy and exploring her (and Selina's) issues with showing weakness and affection and their strong loyalty regarding people that they trust.

I just.....women. Women good.

(Women also deserve to have more character than just being somebody's love interests and I have enough wips that completely sideline the guys to focus on the woman instead lmao).

Least Favourite Character

I don't have many characters that I hate??

I generally tend to instantly love everybody unless they are specifically made to be unlikeable. (I also spite-like characters who are hated for petty reasons, I just have a lot of love in my heart and not much energy for hate lmao).

But there were characters who annoyed me while I was watching.

For one, I think Gotham has a variety of super entertaining villains, but the main villains of each season tend to be....boring.

Safe for Strange they all kinda fell flat for me. Theo. Kathryn. Ra's Al Ghul. His Daughter. Mostly because their plotlines were less exciting than stuff like Jerome's carnival or Mother and Orphan's Hotel of Horrors.

Or their motives seemed a lot less understandable than the ones of the other Batman villains who pretty much always come from a place of suffering and abuse and break/snap under the pressure that's put on them (continuing this take of Gotham creating its own villains by leaving behind - mentally ill - people that need help, which I think is very true to most - if not all - Batman villains).

And then you have some characters that simply suffer from the fact that the show was cut short - which is pretty much any and every S5 character that had way too little screentime, but in this specific case means Jeremiah.

Because I disliked Jeremiah a lot while watching.

Without wanting to step on anybody's toes, him and Nygma are probably the two characters on this show I ended up disliking the most.

Mostly because Miah felt like a very cheap copy of Jerome and to this day I think it was a bad idea to replace Jerome with him, since Jeremiah - to me - seems like a super flat character.

Maybe if we had gotten him without meeting Jerome first, just having a Joker character introduced in S4, maybe I would've adored him, who knows.

But in comparison to Jerome...no. Just no.

(I will spare you from any longer rambles, but I think if you follow me, I talked about the ways Miah is lacking for me before).

My made up version of Miah though? I love him.

With Nygma it's even worse because I adored him. I instantly liked him. I was 100% behind him right up until the godawful Isabella plot happened and then it just all went to shit so quickly, I couldn't stand seeing him on screen anymore.

It's surprising that I didn't stop liking Oswald but to me, Oswald pretty much stayed the same while Ed became all bitter and hard and I just miss dorky S2 Ed you know?

It actually got so bad, I completely turned my back on Nygm/obblepot as a ship because I was so severly disappointed and I barely talk about Ed because I just can't stand what they did with him.

(Another victim of bad writing).

Favourite Ship

I'm just gonna stick to canon ships because I don't ever shut up about my Fanon ships so you probably know which ones I love the most :D

There isn't much romance going on within Gotham if I think about it - apart from Jim - which I definitely prefer. You wouldnt guess it from my blog, but I am not a fan of too shippy stuff because in most cases it just means sex scenes and I can live without those. I want action! Blood! Dead People! Not a two minute make-out session between two bland characters!

I gotta admit that Ed and Lee have some cute scenes and I would definitely ship them if I didn't dislike S4 Ed so much (S2 EdLee tho?? Yes).

Also I thought Jim and Lee was okay and Baby Batcat was quite cute at times but mostly I don't care about the canon ships.

I do ship Barbara and Jim though :D

I remember right before they hooked up in S5 I was like: 'I wouldn't mind if they got back together' and then went 'yay!' when they did and I wouldn't have minded a little more 'Will they?? Won't they??' between those two and them just having the mother of unhealthy relationships on this show.

(Also Jim/Barbara/Lee poly relationship but we can't have everything).

Favourite Friendship

So many good relationships on this show!

I need to rewatch the show soon because I probably already forgot about most of them but from the top of my head: Oswald/Butch and Oswald/Zsazs

Which were both then done dirty lmao. One by having Oswald be overly petty (one of the few times I was like...Pengy...wtf...) and the other by passing up the obvious opportunity to have Zsazs find out who really killed Falcone and just...letting Oswald and Victor never interact again. 

Then of course Ivy and Selina which also gloriously fell apart. Just like Ivy and Oswald. 

(Gotham isn’t the best when it comes to maintaining friendships). 

And the biggest and most grandious friendship of them all: J Squad. 

(Who have too little scenes together honestly and then also simply fell apart after Jerome died. Consistency who?)

Favourite Quote

I don’t know, I don’t have many quotes in my head from the show. Me and my niece mostly reference: “Yeah, that’s a spoon.” - “IT IS ALSO A FORK!!1!!!”

Also: “Gotta Go! Gotta Go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!”

(There are some dialogue blurps I have written down somewhere because they are inspriration for gifsets but in order to be able to just recite some of them from Memory, I would have to watch this show way more obsessively). 

Worst Character Death

I don’t even gotta say anything do I? :D

But I think the character death that actually made me cry was Jerome’s first death. I clearly remember crying because...he just wanted recognition! And praise! And instead he was used as a pawn and betrayed by someone he idolized and he was only 18! My poor little meow-meow!

Seriously, the only things that make me cry on this show: Jerome’s first death, any and all mention of Bruce as a baby - told by an emotional Alfred, any and all Bruce/Alfred interaction at all and Solomon Grundy. 

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

I seriously need to rewatch this show, it’s been so long :D

But I remember being pretty excited for the J Squad Team Up - because I was like ‘If I were Jerome I would definitely work with Tetch and Scarecrow since they’re also in Arkham atm’ and then he did!!

And I also distinctly remember in S3 that I was close to falling asleep right when they scene came on where Oswald realizes his feelings for Nygma and let me tell you - it caught me so off guard, I was awake instantly lmao. 

(I knew that people shipped them but I was so used to mlm ships being popular when they only have a handful of scenes and are platonic friends that I didn’t expect them to actually have a possibility of being canon). 

From then on I was super pumped for them to deliver on that ship but well....we all knew what happened asnksnndk. 

Saddest Moment

Aside from the already mentioned scenes in the character death column, the scene where Bruce leaves and Selina runs to the airport. I always liked Selina but she wasn’t a priority character of mine (much like Bruce isn’t) but then that scene happened and in an instant, I felt super protective over her. 

She is now my baby. My daughter. My beloved wife. She deserves everything and most importantly she deserves better than Bruce Wayne. 

(Coincidentally that was also the scene where I decided I don’t care much about Bruce asldjkjlj. I absolutely adore early seasons Bruce though). 

Favourite Location

There are so many different locations, I don’t think I can adequately answer this with my spotty memory :D

But I always loved the few episodes where Alice features, because I love how her scenes are shot so probably the little carnival Jervis prepares for her.

Also!! Jeremiah's church!

Or Commissioner Loeb's secret house (Especially the Attic).

There are a lot of cool locations, I gotta gif some of them soon :D

[mintypineapple]

dw ask game 1-36 and 38-100 DON'T ANSWER NUMBER 37 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT CRYING

DaThanks, anon who is probably @truestoriesaboutme!

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

Depends. What do you consider a child? I saw Doctor Who for the first time when I was 16 or 17. Does that count? Let’s say that it does. I did enjoy it.

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

16.

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

An Unearthly Child. I wanted to watch it all in order! Still do! My first New Who episode was “Blink,” as forced upon me by @raisegrate. I did enjoy it.

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I didn’t at the time, but I do now. I have a couple of screwdrivers, a Fourth Doctor, an Ice Warrior, and not-quite-Legos of Doctors 1-11. (-WD)

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

N/A.

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

N/A. Nothing scares me.

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

N/A. I get all jokes/stories.

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

That the only way to watch it was from the very beginning. I eventually gave in and watched New Who before finishing Classic Who.

9. Who introduced you to DW?

Pretty sure I heard about it initially on a forum I went to called The Douglas Adams Continuum. That’s when I started watching the First Doctor. Again, @raisegrate showed me my first New Who. Eventually, I started watching New Who in its entirety with @catastrofries and they started watching Classic Who with me for @rassilonwatchathon.

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

Didn’t even know it existed as a child. But I liked it as an adult.

Read more under the cut. There’s a lot!

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

One. He’s the first I saw and I’ve went through some of his more than once, due to the podcast, so he has a special place in my heart.

12. Your favourite Doctor?

It varies depending on the day. I quite like Two, Eleven, and Twelve, though.

13. Least favourite Doctor?

Possibly 5 or 13? More because they don’t get a whole lot to do, than them being bad.

14. Best regeneration?

Technically speaking, there’s something about that first one that is still so good. Emotionally speaking, Two’s regeneration is terrifying and I quite like Twelve’s speech before regenerating.

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

Yeah! They’re all pretty good! Even “Love and Monsters!” Yeah, I said it! (The end is bad, but the rest is good.)

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

One calls himself human a handful of times. Does that count? If not, definitely Five. He seems the most like a regular guy in a weird situation out of all of them.

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

The Day of the Doctor, for sure.

18. Best Doctor monologue?

Eleven’s speech to young Amy in “The Big Bang.” That episode is just solid all around.

19. What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

He’s definitely fucked off somewhere and abandoned Rose. He runs a cat cafe that is definitely a front for something, but no one can quite figure out what.

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

One/Barbara, Two/Jamie, Three/Jo, Four/Leela, Five/Tegan, (haven’t seen enough of Six, any of Seven, and I honestly don’t remember the companion for Eight), Nine/Rose (that’s the only option!), Ten/Donna, Eleven/Amy-Rory, Twelve/Clara, Ruth/Thirteen.

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Classic Who: This is hard. Jamie? Sarah Jane? Leela? New Who: Donna Noble.

22. Favourite secondary companion?

Not sure what this means exactly... My second favorite? If so, I gave three for favorite Classic Who, so one of them. New Who: Rory.

23. Least favourite companion?

Classic: Ben Jackson or Peri. New: Ryan.

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Classic: Two, Jamie, and Zoe. New: Eleven, Amy, and Rory.

25. Most underrated companion?

I love Steven Taylor. I feel like he doesn’t get mentioned enough.

26. Most overrated companion?

Probably gonna get some hate for this, but Romana II. She’s good and I like her, but I was expecting a lot more. I honestly prefer Romana I.

27. Favourite companion’s family?

I love Rory’s dad.

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

Kamelion. AM I RIGHT? But seriously, Amelia Rumford from “The Stones of Blood.”

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy/Rory.

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

I hated Tegan when she first came on, but now I love her.

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

“Heaven Sent.”

32. Least favourite episode?

“Time-Flight” gave me a literal headache.

33. Which episodes do you skip?

NONE. Of course, I’ve not done any rewatches. YET.

34. Best two-parter?

“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” are the first New Who episodes that fully sold me on the show.

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

Give me the future and make it weird!

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

“The Myth Makers.”

37 HAS BEEN REDACTED.

38. Best run of episodes?

“Vincent and the Doctor” through “Day of the Moon” is pretty solid.

39. Best cliffhanger?

“Vengeance on Varos.” Hands fucking down.

40. Favourite Christmas special?

The answer to question 37. “A Christmas Carol.”

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

Yes please! (Though New Who will take this a little just because the pace is generally a lot better.)

42. Favourite series?

I’m not sure about Classic (I have a harder time thinking of them as different series), but New is definitely 5.

43. Least favourite series?

11.

44. Which series do you skip?

See 33.

45. Favourite series opening?

“The Eleventh Hour.” It’s just a lot of fun.

46. Favourite series finale?

“The Big Bang.” IT’S A GOOD SERIES.

47. Best series arc?

So I don’t sound repetitive and say Series 5 again, Clara’s arc in her last season is great.

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I find it largely boring and not well-written. Though there are some things I like! I love Ruth a bunch.

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

I’ve seen from “An Unearthly Child” to “The Two Doctors.” And the movie.

50. Who should have had another series?

Doctor: Nine. Or Eight. Or Ruth. Companion: Kamelion, but done better.

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

I love them Fuzzy Chicken Nuggets. (The Yeti.)

52. Most creative monster?

The Silence are an interesting concept.

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

OAK AND QUILL from “Fury From the Deep.” Fuck those guys.

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

I hate power level questions. Next.

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

I get really tired of the Daleks sometimes, y’all.

56. Monster you want to return?

Chumblies or quarks.

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

The writing. You can do great things with most of them. Even the ones you dislike. Like, I hate the farting aliens, but they are occasionally used well.

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

If I had to pick, I’d say... Cybermen. Daleks are very samey and loud. Weeping Angels get less interesting every time they are used. But there’s a human element to the Cybermen that, when utilized, can be very effective and unsettling.

59. Best Dalek story?

The one where Two rides around on ones he made nice.

60. Best one time villain/monster?

I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is in “Midnight.”

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA is more consistent, but the highs of Torchwood are higher.

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

Owen. But like... not season one Owen.

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

See 62.

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

I haven’t rewatched anything yet. But I would rewatch COE before MD.

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Clyde.

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

Mr. Smith is way more interesting. He had a villain arc!

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani.

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Some. I’m doing them as Patreon bonus episodes for @rassilonwatchathon​. I haven’t done much though.

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

“The Chimes of Midnight.” I’ve listened to it twice.

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

I do DW analysis for @rassilonwatchathon AND The Dipp. So yes. My fave is TARDIS Eruditorum, though.

I’LL ANSWER THE REST AT A LATER TIME. I MUST BE WITH MY PEOPLE NOW.

[homosexualadventure]

every single lmam song, ranked.

i just finished listening to let’s make a music for the first time, and Oh My God it rocks. it’s a great podcast and if you’re reading this without having listened to it...i don’t know what to tell you. i don’t know what you think lmam means. but, that aside, if you haven’t listened to it yet: go listen to it! it’s not a crazy long podcast, overall or episode length-wise, so it’s manageable even for people who usually can’t handle podcasts (like me!) anyways, now that it’s over, what’s left for me to do with my time and energy that i used to spend thinking about lmam?

listen to the episodes again so that i can rank all fourty-one songs from worst to best, of course. so that’s exactly what i did.

i mostly ranked these on my gut feeling, because i didn’t come up with the idea of ranking it on a set of points before like...five minutes ago. there’s a bit of personal bias in here, so if you disagree with me on rankings, hey! send me an ask, or a dm. we can talk about it. 

so, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it! let’s...make a ranking. haha. that’s just a fun little lmam joke for you. 

41. the roquefort stank

this song only gets points for laura’s stanky noises in the background. i love laura.

40. shan’t he shanty

weirdly catchy. for a sea shanty, that is. that’s all i have to say.

39. well, i’m on child...

i do love a good gay song about polyamory but it just wasn’t enough in this case. truly heartbreaking. 

38. dog trash

i’m not a big fan of polka in general. that’s all i have to say. i don’t have to explain all my decisions. this is my journey. and it’s your journey that you’re taking with me.

37. echoes of wednesday

it’s not my favorite but i do think it’s sweet and i like all the laura vocals. also the zuko vocals. 

36. brothers in legs

not their best character song but it’s still a song you could quietly headbang to. i just don’t love full story ballads (there is an exception to this, you’ll see) most of the time. 

35. ol’ tim’s tricks

i’m not saying it’s a bad song, i’m just saying it sounds like it was once in a made for tv disney channel-esque movie about a girl who finds her calling in sports and friendship.

34. don’t give me that altitude

very queen-esque with general 80s vibes and i like that.

33. dreamless

if it was longer i think it would be a lot higher on the list, because it’s Good. but i don’t feel right putting a 45 second song above, like, tobie’s razor. still! i love the mellow, kind of sad and eerie tones of it.

32. holiday crime!

look i know this one’s fairly low on the list, hear me out: it’s a good song and it’s pretty memorable as well! but as far as holiday songs go, i don’t think it’s their best or most iconic one. laura’s laughing and beat in the back is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming, though.

31. mr. dad

this one gets a higher rating than the previous holiday song for its good good harmonica and because when i heard the lyrics “but you love to watch him go” used to describe mr. dad i almost toppled my chair backwards with me still in it.

30. mourning ritual

the biggest load of 1980s bullshit i’ve ever heard in this decade. somehow it’s also got a big panic! at the disco vibe and i’m not sure how i feel about it but it’s definitely Strongly There and i can’t deny it.

29. outback sadhouse

it’s RIDICULOUS how well they nailed the sufjan stevens vibe with this one. plus the restaurant dialogue bit in the back of the song really adds a lot. 

28. let down my better dynamite

it’s really easy to bop to and the instrumental in the background is FANTASTIC! jonah really killed it with this one. plus they talk a lot about rats in the episode which is nice for me because i love rats. also it’s the first episode with an instance of “brian does a bit”.

27. the tale of the greazzy creek

i just think it absolutely nails the vibe of a rural campfire grizzled old cowboy song while also being a really catchy theme song. like, i think you could’ve snuck it into holes (2003) and i would’ve been like, yeah, that sounds right. 

26. turn around and come down slowly

not one of their more iconic songs but brian’s voice is so pretty in this and it’s really soothing. 

25. ratless randy’s

i don’t know why it’s this high on the list either, but it is. ratless randy’s really IS the place to be, guys.

24. tobie’s razor

i will be honest. when i saw the title for this episode for the first time i just thought “occam’s razor” and as i type this i can’t even think of what that actually is, so..... anyways, i’d say this song absolutely NAILS the vibe but i have no idea what vibe it’s even remotely related to. certainly does nail the internal childhood monologue though. i think this song is the first one where they really started hitting their stride, also. not that it’s better than some of the earlier ones, but this one forward their songs were pretty consistently high quality. plus, and no one will be surprised by this by now, it gets extra points for laura. 

23. armoire of royals

it’s weird, it’s synthy, has a vaguely billie eilish-esque part near the end which is not necessarily a point in favor depending on your taste but it Definitely is surprising and cool, and it’s got fake british accents. what more do you need out of a song?

22. sybil’s night scare

the piano in this is perfect and fantastic and the comedic timing in the song is just right. jonah’s delivery of “they’re actually real human eyes” is so goddamn good and his singing is Also great and frankly i think we can all agree we’re fucking tired of him saying he can’t sing. i mean, i assume (i fucking hope) he’s stopped saying that by now considering he had the majority of vocals on silo by a bit but Still. it’s a good peppy halloween-y song.

21. chalice for your thoughts

two spooky songs in a row! honestly, i’m not sure what reasons i have for ranking this song as high as i did. i just like it a lot. they were able to include a lot of weird twitter suggestions fairly seamlessly, and it’s just soft and pretty. spooky, but still pretty.��

20. 21st blitheday

i admit it: i fucking hate the voice brian uses in this. but i really, really like the song. the beat’s very good and somehow brian still manages to sing the chorus well and make it sound nice even though his affectation is Stupid as hell <3 the background whistling is nice and his robot voice, which he’s used for several of his videos but i think most notoriously for scrundler in his week in revue series (here), is also featured. it’s a real bop, i think.

19. monday night boomball

i genuinely think this is their weirdest song, ever. it’s incomprehensible and it’s so fucking theatre kid of them, and it’s dumb as shit but it’s really funny and enjoyable and strange and i love it.

18. gentle light

this is a really good song. it’s not weird or funny, it’s genuinely just a really soft, calming, normal song. i can’t in good conscience rank it above the others for this reason, because it’s easier to make a regular song good than it is for a song about fucking a tree, but i want to be clear: i really love this song. it’s a song that you could fall asleep to, cry to, cuddle up in a blanket to, whatever the hell you want to do to it.

17. proud egg mouth

extra points for fitting the word “maw” in any kind of song, a feat i’m not sure anyone else has ever accomplished. also for brian actually singing with an egg in his mouth.

16. you can take that to the bank

brian does an incredible randy newman impression and i love him for it. also it’s just a good song! it’s not my favorite but it’s very pleasing to my ears and it’s well made.

15. rainbow trout eggs

i listened to a shit ton of colbie caillat in middle school and i can tell you with confidence that the lyrics “i feel so alive and i know that i’m happy na na na na na hey hey” would be in one of her songs. it’s a good song with completely ridiculous lyrics and it’s a better character/full story ballad than their previous ones, in my opinion. which is what you’re specifically here for!

14. car mitzvah

i think this is a song my dad would listen to if it came on the radio. i also think it deserves to be in an early 90s or maybe coming of age movie. brian’s vocals are fantastic in this, also.

13. dr. brims

“it’s a new year, Ha Hah!” this song is sooooo fucking funny and exemplary of a lot of their other songs that came afterwards. i’ve been saying that a lot i think. writing reviews is hard.

12. let’s make a music (theme song)

maybe it’s the emotional value of this song being the song i associate most with the podcast, since it’s the theme song, or maybe it’s just really good. (spoiler: it’s both but mostly the second one) the episode is also really funny in general and if you’re new to the podcast and don’t care about order, i highly recommend this one first! 

11. heartbreak in michael’s

a very very very good sad gay love song and i recommend it to the ends of the earth! because this is the internet, and i can!

10. arbor day!

you try making a horny song about deforestation.

9. why don’t you like our song title?

such a fucking bop and showcases their skill for just doing whatever the hell they want and STILL making a fantastic song or video or whatever. they just stop saying words in it and it does not take anything away from the song. could you do that? i mean...maybe! but for the sake of this review and my point i’m gonna be like fuck you no you couldn’t. moving on.

8. akimbo

the backing track in this is ABSOLUTELY what makes the song. plus that one video of brian strutting but technically that can’t affect my review of the song because Technically it’s not part of the song. anyways it’s really peppy and fun and enjoyable and Good.

7. heartbreak in michael’s (reprise)

it’s the perfect finale song. like, it genuinely sounds like the song that plays at the end of a romcom after everything’s finally worked out. i Did cry when i heard brian sing the theme song at the end but that’s just because i’m a sentimental son of a bitch. so besides that ending bit that i can(’t) guarantee will make you tear up at Least, it’s really fucking fun! it’s upbeat and happy and i think they made the right song to go out on. or to go on a hiatus on, if brian’s website is to be believed. i don’t believe it, but hypothetically, y’know? hypothetically...

6. debutaunt ball

if the met gala doesn’t make this their theme song i will personally burn next year’s event to the ground, i swear to god. also it’s a good song to show off both jonah and brian’s range. it’s not like a lot of their other songs but it’s SUCH a banger and i adore it.

5. madame zamporium’s wax emporium 

fuck yeah. learning that the “ooh come on baby” from several unraveleds came from a let’s make a music is the reason i finally started listening to the podcast in the first place. but BESIDES that, since that’s not a reason for my ranking (just a fun little fact about me!), this song slaps a ridiculous amount. they went insanely hard and it’s the first song they made that really sets the tone of the podcast, which is: great comedy, great high production music. 

4. alan rickman’s edible zoo

GOD! the anti-celebrity, anti-capitalist rock song i’ve been waiting all my fucking life for! also it’s anti-america but only in one lyric. but in Another sense....throughout the whole song. PLUS, and most importantly, it features jonah’s literally and i mean LITERALLY impeccable alan rickman impression. like, it’s fucking bulletproof. alan rickman was in the goddamn room. 

3. horsecar!

look. when this song started playing for the first time i went...fuck no. in general i don’t tolerate country or cowboy songs very well because they just don’t sound appealing to my ears most of the time. i put up with country road only because of a funny mario edit someone made of it and now the original song has more value to me. this is relevant only because the same thing happened with horsecar! in that the chorus KICKS ASS. i may make a post on just my favorite lmam songs and also this is already a crazy long post so i won’t go into it too much but i will say this. the shock value of going from the first verse in this song to the chorus is...........Incredibly high and it Works So Fucking Well! it literally makes the song. and not even just for the short term value of Oh My God That’s A Twist, it lasts through the whole song. i’m listening to the song as i type this and i’m currently at the country/cowboy part and i don’t hate it because i know the chorus is incredible. in fact, i’d argue that the chorus on its own may be the best thing lmam ever made, even better than my two actual favorite songs of theirs. i’m definitely going to have to make a full post on this. (SIDE NOTE: BRIAN’S VOCALS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND HORSECAR! IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS. his goddamn RANGE!! SIR!!! his falsetto is literally ridiculous my pants are OFF)

2. dragon me to this wedding

this is what i meant when i said there’s an exception to the “i’m not generally a fan of full story ballads”, because this is one of my all time favorite lmam songs. as in, it’s in the top three. which i guess you can tell from it being number two in the top three. in fact, it’s probably one of my favorite songs in general. the first time i listened to the episode i went back and listened to the song again three times in a row, and all three times i cried real tears. it’s GAY it’s REALLY PRETTY and i LOVE IT. 

1. save 2 4 tony

so we’ve finally made it to my all-time favorite lmam song. maybe it’s that i recently graduated myself and so this song hits a little harder, but it also just GOES hard. i genuinely think they peaked when they recorded this. it’s one of those bdg songs where you’re listening to it, you’re just chilling, and it’s like “yeah wow this is nice!” and all of a sudden he hits a falsetto and you go “oh FUCK that guy can SING!” literally his vocals in this are incredible and it’s very fun (and on brand) that the Oh Fuck moment here is the line “tony hawk babeyyy!” plus jonah killed it on the backing and composition and everything. it’s the best let’s make a music song and i won’t take constructive criticism.

[isoisolated]

I have ADHD and it's not fun

29/12 edit: coming back to this post, I just wanted to add that at the time of writing, my adhd was unmedicated. Thought this might be good thing to note. 

My friend Ondrej kept sending me articles and texts posts written by other adhd people (mostly adult males) that it finally pushed me to write my own, because even though I could relate to some minor and major parts, something always felt a bit of and also because ADHD is a condition that's been heavily ignored by medical professionals not only in adults, but especially in adult women, which is a group I sort of represent myself. 

I could talk about this for ages, my therapist frequently tells me that I have this gift of intense self-analysis and immense passion to get it all sorted out once for all. I guess it's another way of saying I'm so hyperaware of my own existence and my brain simply latches onto it and constantly tries to solve its own problems. 

If you do not care about my own personal history, just skip to second headline.

I was clueless for the first 20 years of my existence

Now, ADHD isn't the only thing that's been making me feel almost alien, I dare to say that my puberty years were mostly about developing and internalising bit of trauma and processes that do no good in later life. 

I love music. And I mean I truly endlessly unconditionally love music. Being a daughter of music composer, I was 6 when I first asked my dad to show me where to press record in Logic Pro and told him to leave me alone while I recorded my first song. It was called Autumn is here and it sounded like something made by 6 years old. 

I remember we were attending castings for TV shows or commercials and later I was told that it was me who initiated such trips and that I always wanted to be a part of such things. I don't remember initiating such things but I remember for sure that I was very shy and uncomfortable when I was supposed to show off. 

I remember I was supposed to take piano lessons. And I was so baffled that I had to follow the book and play what's in the book, instead of playing thing I wanted. I think I told my parents after few lessons that I do not like it and was dropped outta it. This became a pattern, if I recall correctly. 

But that's nothing out of ordinary, kids are harder to get focused and entertained. I remember two moments from elementary school where I was told by my classmates that I'm acting like I have ADHD and it got me real mad every time, because in my head ADHD looked like not paying attention in class, being body hyper and overall just annoying. 

I could find a proof that I made myself first to-do list when I was 14. Since 14 I felt like I need more self control and self regulation, that I need to fit myself more into ambitions I had and have and in order to do that, I started making to-do lists with ambiguous tasks such as “work more on music” and “work-out”. It was also in during my great isolation era, I had no real life friends but one that I was seeing occasionally, I wasn't going out, I came from school on Friday afternoon and left my room on Monday morning. I was making friends online since I was 11 and lived mostly online. 

At that time I also started figuring out what was wrong with me. Since ever I always felt a bit “off” compared to my peers, I always felt weird (and was told that thousand of times in my life), I always felt like I was thinking about things a bit differently and my humour was different and my hobbies were seen obscure by my classmates (even though they weren't obscure at all). I felt alone for most of my growing up and feelings of complete loneliness and detachment haunt me to this day, making me spiral. 

I thought I might suffer from bipolar disorder, because I had high energy episodes and my emotions were so intense. I was crying almost everyday for both external and internal reasons, my head sometimes felt like too much and I found temporary peace in self-help books and esotericism. 

I was around 17-18 when I realised all of this is bullshit and that no book can make me do things that I wanna do. I'd spent hours, days and months thinking about doing things, being crippled by this weird force that hold my body down, unable to do anything, no matter how much I wanted it. I'd beat myself up for it, thinking I was just so damn lazy and stupid and pretentious. I wanna be a popstar, a successful musician, I have to do all these things and if not, I'm gonna fail so much and my life will lose its meaning. 

When I was 17, I released my first EP and for some reason, it found some attention and success, if we might call it that. Suddenly I felt on the right path, I was seen as a musician and also very young one. Even though I still was sad almost every day or had intense sadness episodes that could last for a week, it felt right and I couldn't wait to finish high school and become a full time musician. 

I'd produce music in unplanned episodes of total focus, where I would sit and do things for hours straight, without eating. My most favorite songs were made during 6-8 hour sessions and it felt amazing. I couldn't bring myself to produce music if I hadn't the right vibe or idea for it. 

It was around that time this woman texted me, saying she wants to be my manager and that she really likes my music. It felt so unreal but here I am, with my own professional manager, on my way to be the most amazing music person.

I'd crush on people (and mostly boys and men) constantly, it was also very episodic, could last for days to month where I'd had nothing on my mind but them, drowned in daydreaming and just imagining things and also letting them know all of that. It was magical but it was fleeting. It still is. But it is the greatest inspiration, where I feel so much emotions it makes me see things and then I can transform them into music. 

But there was still something wrong with me, I was very emotional, still struggling with making my routines work, I'd come up with new plans and schedules every week just to fail them the day after. It was exhausting and I saw nothing alike in my world too, I was alone and my experience was just not enough will power. 

I could get mad so easily, I'd clench my fists and was so close to punching someone and when I hated someone I hated them with immense passion and spent hours just imagining myself confronting them. I was so mad all the time on background too and even slightest thing would put me in classic rage mode.

I have problems remembering dates and names, I'm bad at remembering people's faces, I'm bad at learning things by myself even though I have interest in them. I'm bad at making routine for myself and actually following it.

I finished high school and planned to go study abroad but it turned out it isn't what I want so I came back and started looking for a job. Around that time I met my now best friend and thanks to him I actually started thinking even harder what might be wrong with me, so I looked up ADHD. And didn't believe that at all. I wasn't like this, was I? 

Then, the summer came and I met my friend (and also a fan) while being out for a beer. We chatted, had a great time and then told me I kinda am like a person with ADD. I was confused because I didn't recall what that does mean, later I remembered it's another (and outdated) term for ADHD, but it's the “quiet type”, where the hype happens mostly inside and doesn't manifest outside that much. So I started researching once again, because I trusted him and it was that one push I needed.

It's been year since that moment and it took me months to accept that I might suffer from ADHD and to this day I still have feelings of impostor syndrome, making it all harder for myself just like that, to be more interesting for myself. I still yet have to accept this. 

I was transitioning into adulthood and yet had actual emotional breakdowns, I was crying and my heart was aching and I couldn't bring myself to do things I want, to learn more about music production, to learn how to sing better, to learn my favorite k-pop choreos, to work-out, to embody my own vision of who I want to be. With music, I am my own boss and it's the worst.

Covid-19 hit our country and here came the first lockdown. It pushed me over the edge and I felt like I was losing all of my friends, I felt those feelings of loneliness and weirdness again, I felt like nobody knows what's wrong because I don't have it as bad as others, I was hurting so much my body was shaking and twisting. I decided to try medication, even though I told my psychiatrist I don't want to, I just felt like I cannot be like this anymore, it's too much pain and no matter how much I try, I can't make it better, I can't make it work. 

I started taking Strattera and after month or two, I saw it working. A bit, I could focus better and bring myself to do things more and more frequently, and if I had these weird emotional meltdowns, they weren't as intense as before. This serves me as ultimate proof that I am not making this up, because if I were, the medication wouldn't work and make me feel better, right? 

So, what am I doing now? 

I'm still a huge mess and I cannot see myself in a better light. Even though I have job that I perform at at stable rate, even though I have just a little problem cooking for myself, even though I have no troubles falling asleep, even though I can enjoy things greatly when those high energy waves hit me. 

I'm tired of myself, I'm tired of myself not being able to do anything again. I ignore my manager because I already know I have nothing else to say than “I cannot bring myself to do things and you know that, I'm sorry for being a constant failure.” When people compliment me, I thank them but deep inside I don't accept it. 

I have unreleased and WIP songs I can see never being released, ever. When I listen to music from my favorite artists, I can also feel the pain from the fact that I'm not like them and that I probably won't ever be, because my brain sabotages me every damn time. 

From the very moment I wake up to the very moment I fall asleep, there's music playing in my head. I don't choose what's playing, sometimes it's song I don't even like and yet it's stuck on loop. I talk with my therapist in my head, I'm having weird flashbacks in my head to my memories, I'm having “you should do X right now” and “why aren't you doing Y” stuck on loop too. This all is happening at once, every moment I'm awake, even when I'm talking with people. It's exhausting. 

I'm bored most of the time, I have interesting books in my bookshelf and still cannot read them because I have to reread paragraphs in order to actually understand them. And even then, I find my mind wandering again. I have problems with long texts and long tutorials.

I get frustrated easily, my head is overflowing with ideas I can't act on. I'm living in weird worlds I made up for myself, and then reality hits me. 

I had my first depressive episode few months ago. I felt like nothing matters, that I don't matter, I felt nothing and emptiness, I crawled up in bed and was mindlessly watching youtube videos. I didn't want to eat or drink, I wanted to not exist at all. That episode passed but it was my first encounter with actual depressive state and I know I can slip into it more easily now, it simply developed along the way, after 21 years without acknowledging that I have problems and I struggle. 

People don't understand the struggle, when talking to them about my problems, it's like talking to an automated assistant, coming up with phrases like “Did you try yoga?” “everyone struggles sometime” “you cannot accomplish everything”. They say they wanna listen and help until they don't. 

I have a mental graveyard for ideas I won't ever finish, no matter how good they are, because my brain won't let me. Proper medication would help, therapy also helps but I can't talk myself out of actual executive dysfunction. 

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, our brains are literally underdeveloped in some areas and wired differently. Our emotions lack regulation normal people have and our motivation is fragile. This can't be changed with yoga, this cannot be solved by trying more. Not to even mention, capitalist society is especially damaging to neurodivergent people (and not only them, of course). 

While on this journey, I am still meeting more and more people having same struggles like me, finding people who understand you is the best thing to battle impostor syndrome. Sometimes I can't help them and sometimes they can't help me, but it's okay, because we know we understand each other and if I wanna complain and vent, we can do so without having to explain this condition over and over. 

And I hope that someone finds this relatable too, because as a woman I know my group isn't represented enough. We are not children, nor adult males, we need more attention and more support, from both healthcare system and each other. 

While doing this, I hope to get myself proper medication and continue doing what I love the most - music. I don't love anything else more than that. I hope to get rid of “all or nothing” mindset, I hope to be more consistent, I hope my music will reach its listeners and fans. I still have enough time, I think, even though my sense of time is neurologically altered. 

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

HGPC 17 - 21 | Koi to Producer 2 - 6 | Appare 5 - 8 | Fugou Keiji 4 - 6

...only just realised I was missing some tags. They should be there now or soon.

HGPC 17

Why do I get the feeling the Sawaizumi family will be held hostage one day…? (Maybe I’m just being negative?)

The episode title mentions Chiyu by name, so I wonder why the translation didn’t…

Customer service! You can’t get away from it, even in COVID times…! (Impressive!)

Hmm…you can actually read part of the booking for the Smiths in the book if you know the kanji.

I thought the Smiths would speak in English, but they actually speak in fluent Japanese if the word “susume” was any indication.

Ah, Sukoyaka sweet buns! (from the other episode about the festival)

HGPC 18

Don’t burn down your house with scented candles, kids!

Also remember to use your knees when lifting heavy boxes! (<- says a charity store volunteer, who does this stuff on the regular)

These days the mascots usually have a human form. I wonder if this is implying that particular direction…? (I woke up today and was craving a certain oneshot I’d read during my scanlation days…if it is, it would fill that niche nicely.)

I wonder if the kids will recognise this Ashita no Joe parody…?

HGPC 19

“…since you were young?”

Oh! Element of Wind again!

Koi to Producer 2

This almost feels like Victor is assigning a school project to Protag-chan…it’s a bit sad, really.

It’s nice they let Protag-chan have a personality.

It’s fine if you can’t read the katakana, but Gavin’s name is Haku in Japanese, so it throws out the immersion somewhat…also, I know I shouldn’t be complaining – I’m the target audience here – but do these guys look kinda similar or what…? (partially kidding)

High school sweethearts, huh? “Childhood friends” is my favourite angle of a romantic relationship, but it gets so overused by harems it comes around to being boring…!

I-Is this Stand My Heroes…?! (LOL…?)

Can we not with 1st person cam…?

As cute and dorky as this stuff gets…how does Gavin never get found?! Does nobody ever look up in this city?!? (I thought Evolvers were meant to be a secret…?)

GPS tracker? That’s no better than large corporations using your location data…Isn’t that creepy…?

Hold on, when did she get his phone number? You would assume it was before this entire chase after the boy happened, but still…?

LOL, the English on the board.

This anime is gonna cause me some frustration, but it gives the good stuff in roughly equal measure. It seems to omit the fact you interact via phone with your bois for intimacy (in the game).

Koi to Producer 3

LOL, that’s so clearly Gavin…

By googling, you find out Uptown and Queens are in New York.

Ohmygosh! Did the creators know I love the trope where only people with superpowers can move in certain circumstances?!

Uh…his name is Kira in Japanese? Did someone read the katakana wrong?

Pictured: Depressed bishonen eating bad pudding. (…That joke sounds better in my head. I forgot what meme I was meant to be parodying there, but I had a meme in mind.)

Lemme guess…this man (I dunno if it’s one of the previous bishies with an identical face or a new one) is looking for MC-chan. *sigh* Update: Yep, just Victor again. To be honest, I don’t like anyone who calls harsh words “their sign of love” – love should be honest and upfront. That’s how it becomes heartmelting.

Koi to Producer 4

Okay, in order, it seems to be hexadecimals, Javascript (you can tell from the “const”), some kind of profiles which are apparently for human lab rats (which seem to have some kind of nonsense filler text), a DNA model and DNA bases (ACGT).

The text on the screen says something along the lines of this being an official broadcast of this man’s arrest and this man was a genetic researcher. Obviously, if I wanted to put more attention into what it meant, I would, but I won’t sweat the details this time (because it doesn’t seem to impact the plot).

The guy’s name is Minor because minor key (geddit?)…that’s my guess.

I started playing the game due to this anime, if you didn’t know, and I unlocked an expert in ch. 2. I thought he was Minor, but turns out his name is Spine (an older man).

The diary, true to form, contains details about either one case or several cases, two involving children. The bottom of the 1st page says “if it’s fake, I’ll laugh”.

Hey, I once told Crunchyroll I wanted an anime about hacking (so is this a dream come true? I reveal all in the next sentence!). Hackers don’t congregate like this…they’d be too conspicuous, even with the secret hideout!

The code in the top left appears to be…C? I think? (Note they declare “unsigned int”.)

Kiro sometimes reminds me of Masayoshi (SamFlam)…it puts a derpy smile on my face.

*blah blah blah I’m Key* - Wuh…? F*** you, Kiro!!! (There is such a thing as piling too much cool stuff on to a character, y’know – I’m guilty of it in my own writing.)

3684 isn’t a very safe password (says someone who once aspired to be in cybersecurity).

What bugs me is that Simon is a perfectly fine name…it’s just a bit boring. Kiro/Kira I get (a bit), but Lucien/Simon…? *shrugs*

Ohh! Based MAPPA! Thank you for making this adaption look great!

Koi to Producer 5

Oh, I got an SR in the game recently and it has a line like, “Only a fool stays up all night to do others’ work. Victor talks like that a lot…

The sign so obviously says “Renka”, meaning “love flower”. “Loveland” really is a step down from that…

Where’s Gavin’s guest badge…?

“Happiness Noodle Store”…?

“…the end of our first year…”

If this weren’t a Chinese work by origin (or Japanese work by translation), I’m sure Protag-chan would have gone after Gavin, despite being told the contrary.

Kanya = Minor. I’ll take a note of that.

One of the books behind Minor says “Gale Start”…hmm…

That GPS tracker is still unintentionally creepy, IMHO.

Koi to Producer 6

…oh. (dejected) Probably a beach episode or something.

What the actual heck was going on with Lucien…? It’s like he was having a tiny stroke there…

Lucien’s power is listed as “???” in the game. I thought he was an aura-reader when he said “show me your colour”, but that shield thing he did means he might just have various psychic powers…? *shrugs* We’ll find out eventually.

Running in heels is hard…

LOL, that’s so clearly recreating a CG from one of the cards.

This is the 2nd time this has gone pseudo-isekai. As much as I like to joke about it…I fully expect someone to be sent to another world at this point.

I couldn’t possibly see Victor on any kind of game show, come to think of it.

Appare 5

This guy’s middle name is “Rich”! That’s silly!

A boombox from the 19th century…makes sense, somehow.

I only just (?) realised Al has a tiny tie on his usual outfit.

Back to the beginning already…just start!

Appare 6

…I just realised Appare mouths “I got it!” in the OP.

Al Lion (sic…?)

Isn’t Sofia in that train…? Update: She might have been, she might not. Hard to tell when they don’t confirm.

This series seriously could’ve done with a dub…Even with weird hokey Hetalia accents, it would be good stuff.

These bunches of people at designated points…reminds me of the book I was reading while in Japan. The Long Walk by Stephen King (part of a compilation). It still gives me shivers down my spine when I remember it.

This “leave in the middle of the night” thing reminds me of the Amazing Race.

“Valley of Despair” is made-up, but Death Valley exists. It’s one of the hottest places on earth, hence the name.

LOL, Kosame scores himself one (1) prarie dog and two (2) Hototos.

I thought Appare was being inconsiderate at first…but he’s being considerate, in his own way.

Oh! I didn’t realise, but Saito Soma is Al.

Appare 7

“It’s not one plus one, but one times one!” – LOL.

Hybrid engine? In the 1900s? Hmm…

LOL, I think Al just did a hadouken.

This stuff’s like an animated Galaxy Brain meme! It’s amazing!

I managed to successfully predict – without watching ahead – Appare would catch himself with his traps.

Kosame with his hair down…is rare. Not exactly attractive because we have to care about the racers rather than lust after them (and the artstyle actually prevents me from doing so, because it’s deliberately quite cartoony), but it’s rare.

Appare is surprisingly childish…that’s what makes him more than a Sheldon Cooper, I think.

The spelling of the place is actually “Ely”, if Google-sensei is any indication. C’mon, subbers! You’re American (most likely)! Can’t you put in the legwork (or the Google-fu) to discover what place in Nevada this is?!

Subbers make characters say “shit” a lot in this show, hmm? (contemplative)

Now this evil guy here *points to screen*…that’s hair I like.

Appare 8

I just love this OP…don’t you?

I like how the steam/gas boat/car has Chinese numerals on its dial.

Kosame means “small rain”, so “heavy rain” is obviously to contrast that.

The Hototo joke never gets old.

I thought I just saw someone leave the saloon…

Nice hair + terrible face = bad equation.

I can almost imagine the wee-oo-wee-oo-ooooooo…wah-wah-wahhh…(You know the one sound snippet, right? The one theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - or whatever movie it is – that maybe involves a tumbleweed rolling across the screen, and then a huge shootout? If you don’t know it, play a sample on this Wikipedia page!) playing in the background.

It’s convenient the prarie dog didn’t appear when Hototo (old) had his revenge spree.

I noticed there’s a bit of a mark under Kosame’s left eye…it suggests that he’s been crying (or maybe it shows tiredness from the race…?), but it’s not that noticeable.

So that’s the real Gil…and tose were his henchmen that threatened to hang everyone bar Kosame. Got it.

(notes to self) So, for charting a course with Appare Ranman!, it’s Los Angeles -> Death Valley -> Ely -> Denver -> ??? -> New York. Got it.

Fugou Keiji 4

“Daisuke-sama” isn’t “Lord Daisuke”, it would be “Sir Daisuke”, I think…but “lord” has a proper translation in Japanese.

The truck has a Shinagawa licence plate. Anime really does like Shinagawa, huh? (Based on ID: INVADED and this.)

I think it’ll be interesting to see Kambe handle this without HEUSC.

The board for Sanchome (which is equivalent to a suburb…or a county, I guess?) has posters saying stuff like “take your dog poop home” and “let’s protect the environment!” (technically, it says “let’s protect the region/area!”, but that doesn’t translate right. There’s even a flea market. Still, those posters don’t have any big hints…not that I know of so far.

I kind of forgot that dude was the gardener for Kambe’s house…er, mansion.

I noticed a poster in the kouban says haru (spring) on it. That’s probably the same one that Haru’s name is signified by, assuming that’s not in combo with another character or few.

Oh great…the sister is an overbearing one.

Ahh…he doesn’t like natto. So that’s the problem. Daisuke is childish (like Appare)…Note I don’t like natto either, but I wouldn’t run away from home (or similar) because I was fed natto.

I noticed Kambe uses shinseki (which doesn’t refer to close family). “Relative” is a correct translation of that word, I just wanted to check that word was the right one for the context.

There’s a green tea bottle by the sink…I don’t think I’d mistake that shade of green for anything else.

LOL, I didn’t think we’d actually get to see Kambe with his hair “down”, so to speak. It’s…an interesting look, for sure.

Oh my gosh! It cost him (Haru) $15!!! (LOL, cheapskate…says the cheapskate…*suddenly droops and stops laughing*) Update: Sorry about the sudden downer there. I was having what the kids these days call a “woke moment”…at least, I think that’s how they use that term.

…I’d watch that crime drama. It’s funny.

Just realised Kato has an older model of phone than Kambe does.

This episode was kinda like a Tokyo Sonata kind of thing, huh? The sensational in the middle of the not-so-sensational…”sensational” for this show, anyway.

Those kids look like the ones from Erased.

*lightbulb goes off in brain* What if the dog went to Kambe’s…?

Can Suzue actually hear HEUSC while Kambe is using it…? $2.46 though…that is cheap, in comparison to the ham.

This was the cheapest episode so far (about $550)…probably because it was an insight into Kato’s life, more than Kambe’s.

Fugou Keiji 5

The flag seems to be based on Cameroon’s (which is in Africa, not America) and the “Arita Kinen” seems to refer to Arima Kinen, meaning this episode is set around Christmas-ish. Credit goes to Kambe Zaibatsu on this show.

I-It’s a Humvee!

Polyadoll (sic)…?

The Poliador guy speaks perfect Japanese…(?)

The star! It’s a key thingy!

I thought Kamei was the 1st Division dude with the reddish hair. Turns out it was the blonde…? Update: Redhead is Hoshino.

Ummmmmm…he was reading porn…? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…okayyyyyyyyyyyyy…

…oh, the costs for Kambe’s tuxedo are on there. So’s the cost for repairing the bike Suzue rode.

Fugou Keiji 6

I never knew there were so many money proverbs to be used as episode titles…

What is Kambe doing with his hands…? He’s not even using the computer.

Imura seems to use a Windows 10 with Cortana on the taskbar.

HGPC 20

What’s with all the Naruto running this episode…?

HGPC 21

(no notes, sorry!)

[copperhawks]

Asexual Constant and why he means the World to me: Part 1

Constant didn’t see why that made a difference. How were Sav and Don’s heart troubles any different from Constant’s heart troubles when Daine was missing, or when he saw Sav sad for their dead parents, or when he felt lonely and lost? All those things hurt his heart. They were big too, they mattered too.

There are a few signs early on that Constant is asexual/aromantic/aspec, but in chapters 18 and 19, this becomes pretty explicit.

First, is this piece of internal musing from Constant in chapter 18.

Daine tells him that Sav often gets really mean when he’s “heartsore” and Constant can’t understand why. He says that HE doesn’t get mean while he’s “heartsore” so why would Sav. All Daine offers is that it’s “different.”

And to be honest, even without the asexuality, Constant’s RIGHT. There are obviously differences in how platonic love, familial love, and romantic love express themselves and how they effect people and their relationships. But the INTENSITY of each love can be entirely equal. The love you feel for your mother, your best friend, and your romantic partner can all be the exact same level of intensity.

Sav’s meanness when he’s heartsore over Don isn’t explicitly due to it being of a romantic nature. It’s far more complex than that, relating to how his relationship to Don even came about, what their relationship was outside to it becoming romantic, and what it’s become since both of those relationships ended. It has a lot more to do with what Sav thinks of himself and how his relationships to Don have shaped that. His relationship to Don is COMPLICATED, to say the least, even before the green hair and unsuccessful exile. His meanness over it stems from that complexity, not just because it’s romantic.

Constant’s confusion over is just so intensely relatable to someone who grew up not really getting the whole Thing over romance, at least in real life. I had no problems watching rom coms and reading books with romance in them and got really excited when two characters who were clearly feeling feelings for each other finally were allowed to kiss. But in real life? Was I supposed to be DOING something to acquire those feelings or were they just supposed to come to me? Were the feelings I had when I was around my friends potentially romantic or not? Had I ever felt it and I just didn’t know what it was, so it had passed me by?

Figuring out you’re ace, for me, meant living in a world of constant (ha) confusion for a while and just... having to play act for a while until a few things came across my attention on social media and helped me understand what asexuality even meant and the variations that came within it etc etc.

Asexuality isn’t a thing that’s really ever DISCUSSED and it certainly never made its way into media I had available growing up as a child. I read Tamora Pierce books where everyone had a love interest they got together with at the end and possibly multiple love interests within one series. The one person who didn’t end up with someone still had crushes she could identify as crushes and slept with one of them before she was 18, all experiences I couldn’t really say that I had. So even though Kel has now been WOG’d as aroace, when I first read her series, she still fell into the same molds as the other Pierce characters had. And I mean, I didn’t have the WORDS to even be able to headcanon her as asexual/aromantic back then, so it just seemed progressive for her not to end up with anyone by the end of the novel, but that we were supposed to assume that, within a few years, she probably would, once she found the right person.

At no point does she have thoughts like the ones Constant expresses above, at least, not that I can remember. She doesn’t really question sex or romance, though she arguably has somewhat less of it than Alanna or Daine did during their books.

And it’s CONSTANT that gets me.

Hard.

Because wow do those words hit home for me. He’s not naive, or ignorant, he just... doesn’t get it. Because he doesn’t feel the same way, he can’t feel the DIFFERENCE between the different loves he’s felt for various people in his life. One is not arguably stronger than another unless he just... knows them a little better or has spent more time with them. But he’d probably say that he loves Daine and Sav equally even though, from what we know of Sav and Daine’s early lives, he’s probably spent far more time with Daine than he has with Sav.

And I just... when this chapter was published and I read those words, I think I melted. I felt like crying a little. I feel like crying now as I write this and this is gonna become a whole ass rambling essay about why I love asexual Constant so much.

I’ve seen a few pieces of media as I’ve gotten older that include asexual characters explicitly (the Shadowhunters TV show and the book Belle Revolte are two that immediately come to mind) but it’s by no means a long list and aside from Shadowhunters, none of them are mainstream. I hope that some kid somewhere was watching the episode where Raphael Santiago confesses that he’s asexual and the woman he’s in a relationship with (who is NOT asexual) listens politely and accepts him for who he is and gives him a hug at the end. They break up eventually, but it’s not because of his asexuality. I hope that kid heard Raphael Santiago talk about how he felt and went “oh wow, that’s exactly how I feel, it’s A REAL THING.” I wish I’d been able to BE that kid.

Asexuality is becoming more widely known among the LGBTQ+ community and within online fandoms and it’s not hard to find headcanons that see characters from popular media as ace/aro/aroace/aspec. And it is showing up in some queer YA media (see earlier example of Belle Revolte as well as Samantha Shannon’s Bone Season series). And that’s GREAT, it’s so awesome to see knowledge of this sexuality becoming more commonplace because it means more and more exposure to people who might not otherwise have a way to figure out what their feelings even MEAN.

Constant is not alone, by any means. But I think it almost means MORE to me that he’s an original character than if one of the canon characters had been made into an aspec character (which is a completely valid choice!), partially because... I didn’t expect it. At all. I didn’t expect to click the link for Chapter 18 and see my own mid to late teen years reflected back at me in one short paragraph. I didn’t expect to see it in a 14 year old boy whose main passion in life is hawks.

Constant and I don’t necessarily share a LOT in common: I do not have a passion for hawks (though I think they are wonderful and beautiful animals), both of my parents are very much alive and I know that they love me, I am not a younger child, I was not born to a specific responsibility of leadership I know I’ll one day have to take over.

But in this, we are reflections of each other. In a way I don’t know that I had ever felt reflected by a character before. He makes me cry. A lot.

Dee, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for Constant. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to truly adequately explain what he means to me. But thank you. He means the world to me.

[hereforaus]

Now Breathe

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: bodyguard!jungkook , rebel!reader , numb!reader, smut, angst

“people invading your personal space is one of the top most annoying thing to ever exist on earth and your overprotective politician mother hiring a personal bodyguard for you didn’t help at all”

wordcount: 2k+

WARNINGS! : 18+ , foul languages, smut and violence on future episodes

A/N: this is my first fic and i hope yall like it. This is completely unedited but i want to post it now. This part is just an introduction to reader’s pesonality. Literally all the happenings is to describe her as a person. The plot is so so far from unfolding so yeah,,,message me if you want to be tagged for the next episodes : )

part 2

“Mom please!!!! just this once okay? I promise i’ll come home all in one piece”

You’re practically giving your all with your little show of being in so much pain in front of your mom just so she can let you go to the concert you’ve been dreading to attend eversince forever with no company from her baggy shabby body guards.

“Im telling you I’ll be okay without those unnecessary bouncer looking body guards of yours. Just this once please? huh? huh?”

“First of all those body guards are skilled okay? don’t underestimate them.” Oh yeah here she is again. You have to remind yourself to not roll your eyes in front of her for you to not lose your last hope of getting a peaceful concert experience without some random guys boring holes at the back of your head the whole time. “And second, what makes you think I’m letting you get outta this house without those body guards when that concert is practically a 3 hour drive from here?”

Sigh. You already know where this is leading.

“Take it or don’t attend sweet pea, no more argument and go to bed please it’s close to midnight you still have classes tomorrow.”

What else can you do? Oh yeah nothing.

That said night, you have to climb down your way out of your room so you can have a peaceful time with yourself on the seaside. You like being alone most of the time to get things done with your art and music but sometimes the silence in your room is becoming too much for you to the point that it suffocates you and the only thing that can really help you is a fresh air and the cold but soothing sea breeze. Environment is a medicine, you don’t know if that works for other people but for you it surely does.

~

“I don’t know but he just told me he wants space for now and that we both have to cool down for a while.”

Lea. She’s been your friend eversince primary school. How she managed to endure you through out these years is still a mistery for you but you love her nonetheless. She’s one of the most precious things in this world that you can’t afford to lose. She’s like a treasure that you so luckily found under the sea and you don’t understand why of all people who is deserving of her, you’re the luckiest one who found her.

“Maybe he needs time to breathe? You know sometimes things become too stuffy for us and all we need is to breathe?” he doesn’t feel thrilled anymore. His heart doesn’t beat fast the way it did like before. He’s not happy anymore.

“You know we can talk about it. He doesn’t have to go through it alone. We can fix everything that’s wrong together” You hate to see her like this, completely helpless and vulnerable in front of you. The before sparkly now glassy eyes, a true indication of pain, confusion and frustration

“You know there are times when you need to help each other to find the way out of the misery but there are times where you need to find yourself first in order to do it right and for that to happen a person needs to spend time with their self alone” he doesn’t want to figure it out with you because he already knows the answer

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe he needed time to think and find himself first.”

I wish that’s really the case.

“But it hurts that I have to wait for him to fix something that I don’t know what is. He’ll have to find himself while leaving me alone in this misery, waiting for him to fix it without knowing if he will comeback after he find the answer.”

“Time can fix anything you know.” but not everything. “so give him that” cause you don’t have any choice but to.

The shiny glass covering her eyes has now broke into tears and sobs. You really hate this. You wanted to tell everything that’s in your mind without hurting her further but how could you tell someone that you don’t believe in love? that there’s no such thing as falling in love and falling out of love because you believe that falling in love in the first place is just all made up by some weird ass part of the body called brain and nothing more. How could you tell her that a person’s feelings can never be the same overtime and that the only constant thing that she could hold into is change alone.

No you can’t tell her. You don’t wanna be the reason for her tears and as much as possible you don’t want her to feel numb. You don’t need another person like you. You want her to feel different things other than not feel anything at all. Numbness will save you from the pain but feeling is a strange thing that can make a person happy, something that you lost a long time ago.

You let her lean on your shoulders until your shirt is soggy and waited until her sobs turned into small whimpers and hiccups. When it does you spoke: “Tell me something funny”. For a normal person, that small statement could have been strange (cause she’s supposed to be the one asking that) but somehow for the two of you, those words are the only ones that was able to put a small smile on your bestfriend’s face. She’s now lifting her head while wiping her tears using the back of her hands, a small smile imprinted on her lips.

“Never in a million years have I thought that me sobbing in front of you is the only way for you to tolerate my dad jokes. I should’ve known sooner”

“Don’t be too touched. Im giving this one for you because you look ugly crying like that and I can’t afford to wet my shirt further” You rolled your eyes, your right hand making its way to your pillow to throw it on her way.

“Hey!!! Just say you have a soft spot for me, no need to be aggressive for nothing” She’s practically grinning right now. You swear to god you wish you can shut her up already.

“If I knew you will be acting like this I should’ve just let you sob there until your eyeballs fell out”.

��If that’s what helps you sleep well at night, I’ll just bury the fact that you don’t want your dearest friend crying because it hurts you too. Who would’ve thought that Y/N has a kryptonite and that so luckily turned out to be me”

“Oh please your nacisissm suffocates me. Get out of my room now!” You said voice stern but not too much to actually hurt her.

“Goodnight love” she said seemingly happy as if she didn’t pour a whole bunch of tears just now. Just like that, she grab her bag and left with the biggest grin on her face that week but you know it’s not going to last because the moment she step foot on her constricted bedroom, the tears won’t help but fall and the sobs won’t have to ask for permission to come out relentlessly.

-

The following day you’re dressed in an extra large shirt partnered up with sane cargo pants and reebok sneakers. Coming out from your bedroom, you saw your mom downstairs talking to a tall man dressed in normal white tees and ripped jeans, your mom seemingly spewing words you can only assume to be reminders on how to take care of you during the concert and some precautionary measures on how to not lose you in the process. You rolled your eyes, purposely letting your stomp on the wood floor be heard to signal them to hurry up whatnot is left to be talked about. By the time you reached the door, the said man you don’t know the name (and is not planning to anyway) is already behind you. He smelled of vanilla soap and you noticed that he’s much taller than you, probably 178 to 180 cm. In no time, the both of you are already seated on the car. You took the passenger seat cause you like taking care of the music and that is most definitely your favorite spot while mister body guard took the driver’s seat. So he’s not just the body guard for the day but also the driver. This is going to be too easy.

“You know what let’s have a deal” The easiest way to get what you want is through talk and you know more than anyone else how to get the thing that you want from someone through words.

“Nice to meet you too miss Y/N. Your mother clearly is right. She warned me that you’ll have to ask me for a deal through out this whole drive in order to lose me and watch the concert alone. She knows you really well.”

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. This won’t do. You didn’t see that coming.

“Do you really think that i’m going to pay you or something for you to let me go to the concert alone?” You fake smile towards him. The first time you see his features clearly and god is he ethereal for a body guard but that’s none of your business because clearly you have other things to fix.

“Maybe not pay? I don’t know, you seem more capable and smart than that, your mother told me”

Oh yeah your mother. You wouldn’t be surprised if she told him your whole life story.

“You’re taking your job too seriously, I was just gonna ask if I can suck your dick or something because you’re pretty hot but I guess you really are not into that kind of things.”

It’s his turn to be caught off guard. You will not back out to this, you are more capable on controlling a person just like what he says and that exactly is what you’re going to do now.

You almost missed the shade of pink on her cheeks because soon it’s gone and back to its normal shade. This person is something else, you know it. You need to step up your game in order to win it.

“I dont know your plan but i know that you’re up to something. Miss Y/N that’s not gonna work with me.”

This is harder than you thought it would be.

“Yadda yadda. Believe what you want sir” If you can’t get him with a talk, then there’s a whole other plan lined up just for him, you dont know until to what extent you can go but you surely know one thing, you’ll have the last laugh.

Two and a half drive. Thirty minutes before you reach the arena. There’s no sounds but The 1975 playing on the speaker of the car connected to your phone. Your bodyguard spent most of the hours concentrated on the road in front of him while you are lazily nodding your head to every song from your playlist, your head leaned on the window most of the time while you look at the trees and houses you pass by.

“Pull over. I need to pee” You said pointing to your right where variety of drive thru fastfoods can be found.

“Sure miss”

Sure my ass.

You’re walking in front of the restroom seperated from the restaurants when you notice your body guard suddenly came to a stop.

“Aren’t you going to come with me inside? I mean I might slip out?” You said voice mocking.

“No need miss, I’m just going to wait for you here” His voice is never not stable and you wonder just how some people can’t be like him. You like how confident he is and unflappable almost.

“You know what my offer from earlier is still up.”

He seems confused at first but in no time, he came into the realization and there comes his wide eyes and rosy cheeks on full display for you.

“You act like a virgin” And then you smirked and left. Teasing him is fun and you decided you’re up for that.

-

It’s not like you to throw out things just carelessly because you treasure everything under your property but you don’t have any choice now. Wrapping up all your colorful clothes together, you throw it to the bin. You’re now in your black fitted shirt and denim shorts. You decided to remove your bun too. The only reason you wore those huge ass t shirt and cargo pants is in order to have another pair of clothes inside for the sole reason of disguising and you’re pretty much sure that this time it will work. Holding your wallet containing money and two of your tickets (one from your mother and one you bought for yourself because sure as hell the ones from your mom has the seat next to your body guard), you leave the bathroom acting so casually as if your bodyguard isn’t just standing there outside the restroom.

When you reach the nearest cafe without a body following behind you, you let a smirk make its way to your face. Bingo. Now you wait for your uber driver.

-

You can’t be more happy. You’re going to see your favorite artist and will be able to dance like crazy without a single soul caring. Holding your ticket, you hand it to the person standing on the entrance and eventually you’re inside the venue. You chose to buy a standing ticket because you’re pretty sure that this concert will turn to a party in the middle and you want the best experience to enjoy the music that you waited for so long to hear live while your body act on its own.

Three hours and it’s almost past midnight. The band is playing their last song. You’re physically exhausted for spending the whole time singing the lyrics on the top of your lungs, screaming and dancing nonchalantly. You can feel the energy being drained out of your body. It’s a good thing that the band decided to end the whole concert with a soft melody song about heartbreak (or is it first love? you don’t know. you don’t really care since it’s your least favorite). You close your eyes listening to the song while swaying your whole body. You feel peace while listening to the soft melody and you can’t help but continue doing that until 30 seconds before the song would finish. The moment you open your eyes, you see him. His eyes, was it like this earlier? As if it holds the dust in the universe in it? His mole under his mouth, was it there earlier? Everything looks so real and clear and for a moment you thought it was real when suddenly.

“Did you enjoy the concert miss?”

-

“How exactly did you find me” You allowed yourself to look at him for a second before bringing your eyes back to your phone to scroll for music while again leaning your head on the window just like earlier.

“Let’s say I waited just a couple of distance from the entrance and I saw you there.”

“You’re impossible” He smiled. Oh he smiled? “So you saw all of that?”

“All of that miss”

Fuck.

“You’re a creep”

“You dance well”

At that you hiss.

“Fuck you”

He’s annoying.

“You lost in this one”

“You did your job pretty well. Let’s not see each other again. Yeah?”

“Im afraid that can’t happen”

Now you’re utterly confused. “What? Why?”

“Your mom just hired me to be your personal body guard from now on and not just for today. It’s a pleasure to serve you Miss Y/N. I’m Jeon Jungkook”

~

[ayankun]

real quick before I get into season 6

So this is my second time watching Season 6 and I’m p. excited.  This last week or so I’ve been dredging up bits and pieces, but most of it is a blur.  It seems the memories that lasted this whole year were mostly of the huge armored truck and the nonbinary character who works at *spoilers*’s tech startup.

I’m curious to see if the second time through it’ll settle in like it belongs.  I remember Season 5 really didn’t make any sense to me until I saw it again.

But really I’m just excited that in 11 hours I can watch the new stuff?!

But first, before I forget, here’s my last thoughts on Season 5.

So remember how I was surprised at Season 1′s structure, that it folded up nicely down the middle with some pretty tidy symmetry?

None of the other seasons do that.

Instead, I remember particularly strongly how jarring the end of the Ghost Rider arc was in the middle of Season 4.  And then again when the (what I’m calling) Kasius arc also wrapped up mid-season.

I’m not sure when I read about it, but it probably was circa Ghost Rider, that they’d intentionally decided on what I’m pretty sure they called “pods” of episodes, these seasons-within-a-season sort of narratives.

Season 2 sort of kicks it off, what with the race to Terragenesis taking eps 1-10 and the Afterlife/splinter SHIELD stories filling 11-22.  Then Season 3 has the monolith/Maveth mystery to start, followed by Hive & the Inhumans for the second half.  S4 is super poddy, obviously branded as Ghost Rider/Agents of Hydra, and S5 also splits neatly into future!Lighthouse and present day!Lighthouse.

Two points to make on this:

Kasius is such a rockstar villain that I feel really bad for Hale/Ruby/Talbot.  They’re so apples and oranges but having the highlight come first allows for unfavorable comparisons to be made.  It’s like asking any well-to-do Kree to compare Xandarian snail to oops all berries.

Good thing they’d had all this practice writing complete stories in 12 eps, since I’m hoping Season 6 (and obvs Season 7) will still feel as fully formed as their longer antecedents.

Anyway, that first point is my major point for S5.

S3 already feels like the second half of S2, and its internal halves are the most similar to each other as any of the other “pods,” so it’s not like people have a reason to go around saying “I liked the first half of the season waaay better than the second.”

(although I might.  I might say that, actually.  but not because the halves were branded separately from one another)

And S4, though the two halves are barely identifiable as coming from the same show much less the same season, they’re both good.  Robbie Reyes is perfect.  The effort to incorporate new MCU topics/aesthetic from Doctor Strange is great.  Robots who just want to be a real girl is my JAM.  All the Framework cameos really make my day!  And then Robbie Reyes comes back all deus ex machina (ironic) and saves the day, and

it makes sense that he does because the function and nature of the Darkhold was well established in part 1 and

it’s GREAT that he does because he’s perfect and we miss him.

Then here comes S5.  I really really respect so much about the creative decisions that took the story where it went (ie, outside Papa MCU’s sphere of interference), and getting to reuse the same set in a different context while minimizing “on-location” shoots is just technical and financial genius, okay. 

But there’s so much about the first half, in the future, that compels me waaaaaaay more than the gritty anger of the second half. 

Kasius, WOW what a villain.  Dominic Rains, everyone.  I have nothing unkind to say about the performance, the character, anything.  Impeccable.  Spectacular.  Perfection.

The mystery of the season opener!  We had the tag scene where Coulson’s “in space” and plenty of time to ruminate on the how and why, especially with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 coming out right as S4 ended and Thor: Ragnarok literally sizzling in the theaters at the same time as this season started.  They answer the question by the end of the episode, but not before several characters come up with and pursue several different theories, and that’s fun.

What a way to capitalize on the Inhuman storyline your show’s been about for years now, without forcing Papa MCU to contend with all this good work you’ve been doing.  Just go somewhere he can’t reach you (the future), and then un-write all of it anyway.  V. tidy.  Extra style points will be awarded.

LEITMOTIFS.  If y’all’ve seen BSG, then you know Bear McCreary is a master of the art.  But this season has so many good themes, my friends.  The Daisy/Quake theme that’s been knocking around for a season is here in full force, and Sinara’s is the best bad guy theme you could have wanted, and dearest sweetest Flint has the best great guy theme you ever heard.

Just, while we’re here.  Sinara.  She says nothing for episodes (it feels like, I wasn’t counting) and her first line is a scornfully growled “compassion.”  Give it up for Florence Faivre !!!  She hardly has any lines but you always know exactly what she’s thinking and what she’s about.  Sinara and Kasius have the richest on-screen chemistry of anybody on any show from any era fight me on this I dare you.

Mack’s coming down from his second life in the Framework, and that suuuuucks that these folks never have a moment to rest before barreling into their next story.  But he gets to be a father to Flint!  And Yo-Yo gets to be a mother!!!  UGH why couldn’t they have brought Flint instead of Deke lololol oh well.

I think I know another reason why Lincoln seems overhyped to me.  That other Inhuman, Ben I think his name is?  He’s in like two episodes, serves a narrative purpose, and is disposed.  I know Lincoln’s in like 18 times as many episodes but they have the same exact overall impact on my brain-hole.  Imagine if it was Ben that came back with them instead of Deke.  That’s how I feel about Lincoln.  Like, how did this obviously disposable character make it this far?

Then you have Deke.  You love to hate him.  He’s a very well-fashioned character who is flawless in making you feel the way the showrunners want you to feel.  That’s the kind of character that gets killed off twice and still comes back, and it doesn’t surprise you.

So, Enoch.  Enoch is everyone’s favorite character, right?  Right.  Give me genderless robots with a soft spot for humanity ANY DAY.  PLEASE where are they I need them.  (I’m un-repressing memories of S6 and I feel like somehow I should be careful what I wish for)  Man I remember with 1000% clarity the absolute glee I felt sitting down for the opening montage of S5 the first time, how ballsy weird it was, just watching this freaky bald alien of a man go swimming with some fun electro pop number playing in the background.  100/10 please make more television like this

 More monoliths!!  The time one is so pretty!

(remember when there were more monoliths and no one knew where they came from or what they did but then it didn’t matter because they got instantly exploded?)

The low-key obvious answers to the season’s questions, what with the Inhumans running all over the shop, Quake there to tear everything down and Flint there to put the pieces back together I’m not crying you’re crying

Oh man, and Simmons getting to mentor not one but two Inhuman youths to be confident and trust in themselves and their powers.  What a ways from the fear-panic response to Daisy when she turned.

Also, yeah, it has to be said, this show’s blatant “you’re different and that’s okay” agenda sits very well with me.  Agents of SHIELD says LGBTQ+ rights!

So anyway, part 2 falls a little flat for me because its strength is its themes, but I’m not really compelled by the stakes and definitely not by the villains and not really even by the intra-team drama.

Obviously S2 touched on parenthood, but it was pretty specific.  S5 digs in and brings us a lot more on the topic.

Kasius desperately desires his father’s approval but very deeply despises the methods and the people who earn it.

Hale was indoctrinated by Hydra and was very earnest in wanting to uphold the values of the organization, until the organization (and Whitehall) shared with her their narrow appreciation of the gift of her loyalty.  Even then, she struggles to make sense of this loyalty, only realizing too late that being a good Hydra pawn and a good parent are categorically mutually exclusive.

Ruby, obviously, is like a mini-Kasius, the brave-faced rebel who wears her mother’s disappointment on her sleeve like a badge of honor to pretend that it isn’t crippling her.

The Von Strucker kid, boy is he messed up (and his Hydra dad had something to do with it)

((echos of Ward are still heard even this far after his demise, and we know what his father figures were like))

Poor Talbot, got some brain damage and some Hydra conditioning on top of that, cracked that noggin wide open.  He just wanted to do good by his family.  Just wanted his son to know he loves him.

Polly and Robin.  The daughter who needs constant special care because she’s stuck inside her own mind and the mother who’s been through hell and back and still manages to do her best.  Even when she knows she won’t always be there for her daughter.  Even when she knows she’ll be replaced.

May getting a glimpse at the life she and Andrew once talked about.  Getting a chance to do right by that little girl.

Mack recovering from getting that same glimpse, from the echoing memories of a life time spent with his greatest regret erased.  Being roped into being a thug and threatening that dad without knowing the meaning behind his threat -- being told that people like him don’t deserve the privilege of parenthood.  But then getting to know Flint, and having Yo-Yo at his side while they fast track this kid through all the things he’s gonna need to know in order to be the Big Damn Hero the world needs him to be.

The timey-wimey promise that FitzSimmons will one day be parents to a brilliant daughter who will unfortunately give birth to a Deke.

Coulson and Daisy.  Another parent placing enormous expectations on his daughter, desperate that she be ready for his responsibilities because his time is running out.  A daughter who mishandles these expectations and refuses to stop fighting a losing battle, not because she’s not ready to step up, but because she doesn’t want to face the fact that she’s losing the man who raised her.

Anyway, aside from all this good Theme work, part 2 wades perfunctorily through musty remnants of the previous season, from The Doctor to The Russian.  Which makes sense, because that season ended in a way that left so many loose threads -- but then this season comes along and summarily ties them up, all cute little bows, the lot of them.  Dusts its hands.  Nothing to see here.  Move along now.  Time’s up.

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 18: Incomplete

Here comes a new entry of the fanfic blog inspired on Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders, Joan S. and the Foster Dawg team. In case there are new readers, this fic is a forked AU, that is, it follows the series canon up to Selfishness v Selflessness, and goes on its own after that. This particular entry was inspired on Thomas’ photoshoot as a royal king from last month. This story came out from it. As usual, you can read previous entries from the fic right here. And without further ado, I leave you with the story. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Since the Sides returned from the island, Roman hasn’t been the same. Despite knowing that it’s not good for him, he longs for the days when Remus and him were a single Side and feels incomplete. Remus tempts him into fulfilling this fusion, and the two brothers join into a new, cold hearted entity called Romulus, that takes over Sandersia and changes into a miserable place. Roman comes back for a few seconds to tell the Sides that they must find something in the island that could help them revert the fusion, before it’s too late and both Roman and Remus disappear for good.

WARNINGS: This is an angsty story in many moments. It makes reference to alcohol addiction, although it’s done as a metaphor of something happening in the episode. There’s also a lot of prinxiety and also a lot of unrequited anxceit, with hints of toxic behavior in that relation. There’s a dash of platonic father-son-like moxiety in the end too.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is in front of his laptop]

THOMAS: Hi, everyone. I’m here, trying to write something. But today, I’m completely dried out… The only things that come to my mind are all sort of shenanigans related to Aunt Patty… and I think I should give her a rest, you know? The fact that most of it would demonetize my channel for good does not have anything to do with it, of course… [realizing what he’s just said, angry] Deceit, shut up!

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody? Okay, I’ve left the laptop, because when the muse is not with you, there’s no use in forcing it to work for you. In this case, my muse is Roman. I’m sure he’s distracted with Virgil or something. You know? Maybe I should call him to see what he’s up to, or rather what he’s not up to. Roman!

[there’s no answer]

THOMAS: Uh-oh… This doesn’t look good. Roman, come here please!

[still no answer]

THOMAS: Okay, one more try. Third time lucky, they say… Roman! Come here right now!

[Roman rises up. His eyes are sore red]

ROMAN: Hi, Thomas. I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you calling.

THOMAS: Well, I’ve been yelling for a long time, you know? [noticing his eyes] Wait a minute… your eyes… Have you been crying, Roman?

ROMAN: [nervously] What? No, I haven’t. It’s just that my eyes have been itchy today, that’s all. A couple of drops from my collyrium and I’ll be good as gravy.

THOMAS: [beat] Give it up, Roman. You’re not Deceit, you’re not good at consciously lying.

VIRGIL: [rising up] I tried to tell him the same, but he wouldn’t listen.

ROMAN: Guys, I’m totally fine! Seriously!

DECEIT: [rising up] No, you’re not, and you can’t hide it.

THOMAS: What’s wrong with you, Roman? We want to help you if we can, you know it.

ROMAN: [sighs] I know, but this time… there’s nothing you can do to help me.

LOGAN: [rising up] Why don’t you try us?

PATTON: [rising up] Yes, kiddo. You’ll never know if you don’t open up to us.

ROMAN: Please, guys, do not insist… I can’t tell you any of this. I don’t want you to…

VIRGIL: What?

ROMAN: [with a low voice] …hate me.

THOMAS: Princey, we would never hate you! What are you talking about?

ROMAN: Yes you would, because… because… it’s something unforgivable.

VIRGIL: What do you mean?

DECEIT: Why wouldn’t we forgive you?

ROMAN: Please stop…

PATTON: Have you done something wrong we don’t know about?

THOMAS: Is there anything from you I should be worried about?

ROMAN: [anxious] Please stop!

LOGAN: Guys, guys, everyone settle down, please. You’re not helping Roman!

[Roman shows an agitated breathing]

VIRGIL: You’re right, Logan. I’m sorry, Roman. We have no right to push you into saying anything you don’t wanna say… It’s just that… I don’t like that you have secrets with us, especially if they’re hurting you. Because I wanna help you and I can’t if you don’t open to us. And that frustrates me. I love you and it hurts me to see you suffering.

ROMAN: And I love you too, Virgil. That’s why I don’t want you to know it… I… I don’t wanna lose you.

VIRGIL: Why would you lose me? Don’t you see that if now you leave me like this in the dark you’re gonna hurt me even more? [glances at Patton, who smiles proudly at Virgil] We are a married couple. There should be no secrets between us. If we face it together, we’ll be stronger! Please, level up with us!

ROMAN: [sighs] You’re right… I love you and there should be no secrets between us. I’ll tell you.

THOMAS: If you want to talk about this you two alone, we’ll understand, guys.

ROMAN: No, it’s okay. I’ll tell all of you. I have the feeling you would have found out sooner on later, and I prefer that you learn it from me. I just hope that when I’m done talking you can still look at me the same way…

VIRGIL: Just let it go, Roman. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is.

ROMAN: You see, it all started when we had our fight with Remus.

VIRGIL: I knew it was related to Remus.

ROMAN: You know how we used to be one single being until I expelled him from me, so that I could be Thomas’ bright creativity and he wouldn’t reject me. Remember what happened at the end of the battle, when Remus hugged me?

VIRGIL: I remember a brown light coming from both of you.

THOMAS: And I do remember seeing a new Side into the light for a second, one that had a navy-blue prince outfit with a brown sash and a golden crown on his head. The vision only lasted for a second but I could never forget it.

ROMAN: So you really saw me… the real me. I thought we didn’t complete the fusion, but we did it after all, if only for a second…

THOMAS: So that guy was a fusion of Remus and you?

ROMAN: Yes, it was Creativity as you knew it in your childhood. When you were little, you saw me as I am now, with red as my color, because a child is innocent and doesn’t have that kind of thoughts… When you grew up, as your mind expanded and you started having other kinds of creative thoughts… I transformed. The white in my suit became navy blue and my red sash turned brown. At first I was curious about the change, then I started hating it, because your new thoughts made you feel so uncomfortable and distressed. I looked at my brown sash and I saw it as a rotten, rusted version of my old sash… I was so embarrassed I didn’t want to get out. I didn’t want you to see me like that and I wanted to turn back to how I was before. You know the rest. I expelled that part of me, I got back to white and red, and the result was Remus’ birth with his green sash. You know, red and green mixed together make brown. Then I sent him to the island so that he wouldn’t disturb you anymore, even if that didn’t work after all.

THOMAS: Yes, we already knew the last part.

ROMAN: There’s one thing you still don’t know. One thing I’m so ashamed to admit… Since I did that… I have always felt…

[Roman makes a pause, everyone looks at him with expectation]

VIRGIL: What?

ROMAN: …incomplete.

VIRGIL: Incomplete?

ROMAN: Like I knew a part of me was missing, as if I had an emptiness inside of me, an emptiness that nothing in this world could ever fill. I have always felt it but in the end I eventually got accustomed to it and learned to live happily with it. When I joined with Remus, if only of a second… the emptiness was gone. I felt complete again. I felt such an endless joy and fulfillment… then new horrible thoughts danced through my head and I remembered why I had split from him. I felt so much shame for feeling like that. And I rejected him again. I tried to just move on, to keep on with my life as I had been living it these last years… but I can’t. I feel like an alcoholic that has been sober for years, then they drink one cup one day and fall down back into their addiction, deeper and worse than before… It’s the same kind of feeling, and I don’t know how to move on from it.

THOMAS: So that’s why Remus blamed me for his misery… I guess he was right.

ROMAN: What?

THOMAS: This is all my fault, Roman. If I hadn’t felt such distress over my new thoughts when I was growing up, you wouldn’t have felt pushed to get rid of them. I’m so sorry, Roman.

ROMAN: No, this is not your fault, Thomas. If anything, it’s my own fault, because if I had known how to control these thoughts, it wouldn’t have been necessary to do the split at all. You are the first priority for all of us, Thomas. We all want to take care of you. It’s our sworn duty as Sides, and I was just doing my duty.

THOMAS: But you shouldn’t have to do such sacrifices for me, Roman. I never asked for that and I don’t want that. I don’t want any of you to be unhappy because of me, because that makes me unhappy too.

VIRGIL: And Roman, just to make it clear, I don’t hate you, at all.

ROMAN: No?

VIRGIL: No! In any case, I love you even more. When I think of all you must have been through all on your own… And you did it all for Thomas. I’m so proud of you for that.

[Virgil approaches Roman and kisses him, then hugs him]

ROMAN: I was so lucky to find you, Virgil, and I love you so, so much…

VIRGIL: I love you too… but please, promise me that you won’t hold any more secrets of this nature from me. I’m your husband, I vowed to be with you in good times and bad, remember? That is my duty, but it’s also my wish and my right. Don’t ever push me aside of whatever distresses you again, promised?

ROMAN: Promised.

THOMAS: I wish I knew how to help you on this one. But I don’t know what to do.

ROMAN: There’s nothing any of you can do right now. This is something that I must face on my own. I must recover the strength to give up to that part of me and it will take time and effort. There’s only one thing you can help me with.

THOMAS: Whatever you need, we’ll be there, Roman.

ROMAN: Please, don’t ever stop rooting for me. When my own strength weakens, I count on yours to keep me on track.

VIRGIL: [going back to his spot] Roman, how could you ever have doubted that? We will always be rooting for you, no matter what.

REMUS: [suddenly appearing next to Roman with his usual grin] Isn’t this nice?

[Roman steps back, horrified, the other Sides yelp, scared]

THOMAS: Remus! What are you doing here!?

REMUS: Spying the conversation, of course. And it was both emotional and funny at the same time. So now you are addicted to me? How flattering…

ROMAN: [horrified] Stay away from me, don’t touch me!

REMUS: And what are you gonna do to stop me, brother? Why are you even resisting me? It would just be so easy… [he opens his arms wide] One step further, one hug, and we would be together again, as we were meant to be. You know you want it, as much as I do. Come on, don’t resist and get carried away…

[Roman looks at Remus with an expression of horror as he speaks, but at the same time he shows a face of longing, of wanting to do as Remus says, and there’s an inner fight inside of him, as shown by his brief gestures of struggle. Then he starts slowly opening his arms]

VIRGIL: Roman… no! Don’t do that!

THOMAS: Roman, fight!

REMUS: [angry, rising his arm towards the other Sides and Thomas] Shut the f… [bleep] up, everyone!

[as if pushed by a sudden wind blow, all the Sides and Thomas fall back. Then Remus looks at Roman, again with his arms open]

REMUS: Come back to me, Roman. Let’s be a family again, just you and me, forever. Just as you want. Just as I want…

[suddenly, Roman can’t hold on anymore and opens his arms quickly]

VIRGIL: [horrified] Roman, noo!

[Roman hugs Remus with all his might, almost squeezing him, and Remus hugs him back. Then, there’s a brown light that covers them both and blinds the others. The light lasts for about ten seconds. Then it disappears and the Side Thomas saw the previous time is in the place of Roman and Remus. He has his eyes closed and a little smile of pleasure]

THOMAS: Ro… Roman?

SIDE: [cold but at the same time theatrical voice, he opens his eyes] Yes… I remember… that used to be my name when I was little… but not anymore.

THOMAS: Then who are you?

SIDE: If I’m the result of plain Roman and Remus’ union… Romulus would be a fitting name, don’t you think? To keep the Romanic vibe going.

VIRGIL: Where is Roman?

ROMULUS: I am Roman. No, I am more than Roman. I’m better than anything that outdated prince has ever been in his miserable life.

VIRGIL: You’re not Roman!

ROMULUS: Okay, whatever, as if I cared about anything you, Mrs. Pouts, would say…

THOMAS: Why you have to be so rude?

ROMULUS: [singing, mocking Thomas] Don’t you know I’m human too… [speaking] Because I’m not gonna let any of you get away with the way you treated Roman! You pretended to be his friends, to be by his side, but you never truly cared about him!

PATTON: That’s not true!

ROMULUS: Yes, it is! Every time he spoke, you treated him as if he had said something dumb, you belittled his world of fantasies in favor of your “rationality business”… You were even actively discouraging him to join back into me despite knowing he wanted that more than anything else! You were ready to make Roman’s life miserable! And just for what? So that “little” Thomas could always make his PG slash PG-13 doodles all his life? Well, now I’m back here, Thomas. Your childlike stories are over! It’s time that you become a proper mature author once and for all, and I’m gonna take care of that! The happily ever after is over for you! Grow up, for f… [bleep] ‘s sake! [to Virgil] …and as for you, Emo Nuisance, well, I’ve got so many new things to write, and the first one is gonna be the papers for the nullifying of our marriage.

VIRGIL: Wait, what?

ROMULUS: It’s clear that when Roman vowed to marry you, he was out of his mind, and that’s the first thing in my list of things to fix in this Mind Palace. Hasta la vista, mes amis! And don’t you dare coming to my room tonight, Virgil! I’ll send you your stuff later! Bye!

[Romulus sinks down]

VIRGIL: [too stunned to react] Jeez…

THOMAS: Are you okay, Virgil?

VIRGIL: [in complete shock, stuttering] Yes… yes, I think so. [pretending that he’s not concerned, but his voice trembles a little bit] I’m not worried, that wasn’t Roman speaking. He’s under the influence of Remus, that’s all. Once he gets back to be himself again, it will all be back to normal…

DECEIT: But what if he… never comes back to normal? What if Romulus never splits and Roman never comes back?

VIRGIL: [suddenly bursting in anger, yelling, black tears suddenly start falling down his cheeks] Shut up, you snake!

DECEIT: [shocked] … What?

VIRGIL: [yelling] I knew I couldn’t trust you! You were just waiting all this time for this to happen, right? I’m sure you are full of joy of seeing my marriage fall apart so that you could get your chance of putting your filthy gloves on me, right? [yelling hysterical] Well, that’s never gonna happen, are you listening!? I’d rather be alone than with a f… [bleep] liar like you!

[Deceit shows a face of deep hurt. Patton approaches Virgil and slaps him in the face]

PATTON: [firm, scolding voice] Calm down, Virgil! You are hysterical! Shut up before you say any more nonsense!

[Virgil puts his hand on his cheek, realizes what he has just said and shows a face of horror]

VIRGIL: I’m sorry, Deceit… I didn’t mean that… I… I lost my mind for a second and let my stupid paranoid self come out again… But that’s no excuse for how cruel I’ve been to you. I’m so sorry. Please, I beg you to forgive me, Deceit…

DECEIT: [faking a smile, but fighting tears at the same time] It’s… it’s okay… Nothing you could say could affect me in the slightest… I’m fine… [tears start falling down his cheeks] No, I’m not…

[Deceit sinks down while bursting into tears]

VIRGIL: Deceit, don’t go! [looking at the empty space with a sad face] I’m sorry…

PATTON: Give him a minute, kiddo… I’m sure he’ll eventually see you didn’t mean it. And I’m sorry I slapped you.

VIRGIL: I hope you’re right… And don’t apologize, I did deserve it.

PATTON: No, son, violence should always be the last of the last resources, if ever a resource at all.

THOMAS: Now, what are we going to do?

LOGAN: We need to get back to Romulus, and find a way to revert the union.

THOMAS: Yes, but how?

PATTON: Well, the only thing we can do right now is talking to him. We can’t force him into doing the split, [Logan shows a face of thinking to himself] so we must find a way to give him a reason to do the split himself.

THOMAS: That’s easier said than done. I mean, if he’s rejected Virgil so easily, what other reason could we use to convince him?

VIRGIL: I still can’t believe it… How could he say these things to me?

LOGAN: Perhaps he’s having a rush now.

VIRGIL: A rush?

LOGAN: Well, he’s been deprived of his full form for so many years, that now he’s, like, euphoric, like… I’m gonna use the same addiction metaphor that he used, figuratively high, you know what I mean? He’s not fully conscious of what he’s doing right now. But every rush is always followed by a comedown, and when it arrives, that’s when we’ll have our chance of getting to him, because it’s then when he may be back to his senses and regret everything’s he’s said now.

VIRGIL: [going back to his place] Do you think that comedown will arrive, though?

LOGAN: I cannot be certain, of course, but I think it will come, sooner or later. There’s no way he can stay in that attitude forever. He may be fused with Remus and influenced by him, but remember this. Most of Thomas’ creativity is the one managed by Roman, so Romulus is mostly Roman. He’ll find a way to dominate his dark side, I’m sure. I mean, if he had the strength to consciously expel a part of himself out of him, which is something I had never heard happening on any Side before, and he did it when we were 10 years old, I’m certain he has the strength to do it again as an adult.

VIRGIL: I hope you’re right, Logan.

PATTON: And in the meantime, what should we do?

LOGAN: Perhaps we should go check out what he’s up to right now. We should go to Roman’s room.

[Romulus suddenly rises up, he shows a concerned face]

THOMAS: Ro… Romulus? You’re back?

ROMAN: I’m not Romulus! I’m Roman!

VIRGIL: Roman?

ROMAN: When we fused, a new entity took control of both Remus and I… it’s taken me a lot of struggle to regain control of myself, and I don’t know how long I shall be able to keep it… I gotta be quick… Virgil.

VIRGIL: Yes?

ROMAN: Don’t listen to a word that Romulus says… No matter what, I love you. I would never split up from you, you know it, right?

VIRGIL: [smiling with a dash of relief] I know…

ROMAN: But you must help me… I don’t wanna stay like this… I’m losing myself…

THOMAS: And what can we do?

ROMAN: You must… [starts struggling again] …go back to the island… There’s something in Remus’ throne room that… could be of help… Please, I… I count on you… I’ll leave the door to Sandersia open. I’ll go now. Romulus is not conscious at this moment… that I’m doing this and I must go where he was when I took control so that he doesn’t suspect… Please… hurry…

[Roman sinks down]

VIRGIL: We gotta help him!

THOMAS: Then we know what we must do. We must return to the island…

VIRGIL: Yes… but I need to talk to Deceit first. We need him and any help we can get.

THOMAS: Do you think it’s a good idea that you go see him after what’s happened?

VIRGIL: I know, but I’ve got to do this.

THOMAS: Okay, but I’ll go with you. Just in case.

VIRGIL: Okay, if you want to… But, please, let me do all the talking, okay?

THOMAS: Okay.

VIRGIL: Let’s go, then.

THOMAS: [to the others] Guys, you go ahead and get into Sandersia, and try to find the Prince Guy and Ira. We’re gonna need any help we can get. But be careful.

LOGAN: Got it, Thomas.

PATTON: You can count on us, kiddo.

[Thomas and Virgil sink down. Then they appear in Deceit’s room. He’s there, still crying]

VIRGIL: Deceit?

DECEIT: [angry crying] What are you two doing in my room? I want to be alone!

VIRGIL: I know… but we need you. Roman needs us.

DECEIT: Oh, so as long as you need me, my gloves aren’t filthy anymore, right? As long as Roman needs me, I’m not a snake?

VIRGIL: Deceit… I’m sorry. Tell me what can I do to fix my actions. Ask me for anything and I’ll do it, but please, forgive me.

DECEIT: So that I can help you with Roman?

VIRGIL: So that I don’t lose our friendship. That’s important for me too.

DECEIT: It didn’t look so important out there. You’ve really hurt me this time. Your words have hurt more than any of the whippings the Dark Master inflicted on me, and they really hurt…

VIRGIL: Deceit, I…

DECEIT: Please, let me finish. Do you know what has been more hurtful? That you knew my feelings for you were still alive, and you used them to attack me. You took that advantage, knowing they were my weakest spot, consciously knowing that nothing would hurt me more than using my unrequited love against me.

VIRGIL: I wish I could turn back time. But I can’t. The only thing I can do is apologizing. I was out of my mind when I told you these things, I didn’t mean them.

DECEIT: Oh, yes, yes, you did, each and every word. Maybe you would have never said them under normal circumstances, but when you got scared and distressed, the true nature of your thoughts came out unfiltered and you vomited it all on me. Can you even deny that what you said is true? Even if now you wouldn’t say it, you really think it. Admit it!

VIRGIL: Deceit… It’s okay. I admit it. I have thought about that once or twice. But can you really blame me?

DECEIT: What?

VIRGIL: I know that you’re still in love with me. I have worried about that ever since I knew. And of course I believe what I said. You may not act on it, but can you deny me that you’ve never thought about it? Can you even deny that, if my marriage with Roman was over, you would take your chance to get me? Can you deny that if Roman suddenly moved out of the picture you would be happier than ever? I know you’re the master of lies, but I bet not even you could lie on this one. Could you?

[Deceit stays silent for a couple of seconds]

DECEIT: You’re right. I can’t. You know I could never stop loving you. And I have been secretly jealous of Roman ever since your story began. That’s what’s hurt me most when you said it. It didn’t hurt because it was a wounding remark. It hurt me because it was a total call out. I knew every word you said was true and facing the truth like that… it hurts. Because I suddenly saw what a son of a b… [bleep] I still am, despite no longer being a Dark Side. And I hate myself for that, because at the same time… I just want you to be happy. It’s just that it hurts that it cannot be me who’s making you happy.

VIRGIL: Believe me, Dee, it hurts me that me being happy is at the expense of you being unhappy. I do love you too, I consider you my best friend. You had always been there for me in the old days and now in the new ones. And of course I know you want me to be happy. I mean, what else could move you to renounce to your love for me than seeking out for my happiness? And that’s why I beg you. Help me save Roman. I know it sounds cliche, but without him, I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life. Don’t leave me when I need you most.

DECEIT: [sighs] How could I refuse when you ask me like that. All right, all right, I’ll try to help you save that prince… What a soft scaled guy I’m turning out to be…

THOMAS: Okay, if that’s settled, we gotta go. The others will be waiting at this point.

VIRGIL: Yes, let’s go, there’s no time to waste.

DECEIT: After you, gentlemen…

THOMAS: … what?

DECEIT: What? Can’t I be polite too?

THOMAS: It’s not that, it’s just that… by the way, where is Honesty?

HONESTY: [from inside Deceit] I’m here, Thomas. I just didn’t wanna disturb Deceit, he seemed to need some alone time.

DECEIT: Thank you. But let’s not waste more time. Off to Sandersia.

[Thomas, Virgil and Deceit sink down, then they rise up in Roman’s room, they open the door and enter Sandersia. What they see there horrifies them]

THOMAS: Oh… my goodness… gracious…

VIRGIL: What’s happened here?

[There’s a view of Sandersia. Now it looks like a dark and ominous place. The sky is dark and stormy, the once green valley is now brown and dried, and the trees are dead]

THOMAS: I… I didn’t expect this… This is worse than we thought. We must hurry. But where are the others?

[the Royal Carriage arrives. It is dirty and with the windows cracked, but still working. Inside, Logan, Patton, the Prince Guy and Ira are there]

PRINCE GUY: Hello, guys. Glad to see you again.

IRA: Logan and Patton have brought us up to date. Hurry up and jump in, we don’t have much time.

PRINCE GUY: Since that Romulus usurped the throne… everything’s going to waste here as you can see. Let’s go.

[The guys jump in the carriage and it goes to the shore, then they jump into the ship and sail away. In a few minutes, they arrive to the island. It looks the same as it did the last time]

PRINCE GUY: I don’t like the idea of returning to this place… too many bad memories.

IRA: It’s okay, your majesty. This time, we’re all together.

[The gang goes through the castle back door, which leads them straight to the throne room]

THOMAS: Okay, we’re here. Roman said there was something in the throne room that could be of help. What could it be?

LOGAN: Let’s spread out and search the place.

VIRGIL: Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

[Thomas and the others starts looking around the throne room, examining everything, until…]

PATTON: [screaming] Yeaargh!

THOMAS: [startled] What!?

PATTON: [whining] There’s a spider!

THOMAS: [jumping on the throne, also whining] What!? Keep it away from me!

PRINCE GUY: Don’t worry, Patton, I shall save you!

[The Prince Guy approaches the place where Patton saw the spider, looks at it for a moment, then frowns at Patton]

PRINCE GUY: Umm… Patton… this is just a speck of dust.

PATTON: Is it? [Patton examines it] Oh… it really is… I’m so sorry, kiddos…

THOMAS: [frowning at Patton] My goodness, Patton… next time, could you just clean your glasses before putting me into a heart attack…?

[Thomas makes a gesture of jumping off the throne, but before he does, the throne seat collapses under his feet. He’s on the verge of falling but Ira catches him on time]

IRA: Gotcha!

THOMAS: Ooof! Thank you, Ira, I almost broke my neck!

IRA: You’re welcome… [looking at the hole on the throne seat] Wait… look, there’s something shiny in the hole you made on the throne.

THOMAS: You’re right… What is it? [reaches his hand into the hole and picks up a golden, shiny thing] It looks like… a medallion. A golden medallion. It has a ruby and an emerald on it. It’s so pretty…

IRA: Could it be this what Roman asked us to retrieve?

THOMAS: Who knows? Ruby and emerald are red and green, Roman’s and Remus’ colors. I don’t know how this could be of any help, but it’s the only thing we’ve got. You guys haven’t found anything else, right?

LOGAN: No, the rest of the room is empty.

THOMAS: Then I guess this is it. We should now go back and face Romulus. If this can be of any help, we can only find out when we’re in front of him.

PRINCE GUY: Let’s go, then. Every minute, Sandersia gets more and more corrupted. I’m afraid if we wait too long it could be irreversible.

VIRGIL: I hope it’s not too late, for Sandersia and for Roman.

THOMAS: Here, Virgil, it will be better if you have this. I think it will be safer in your hands.

[Thomas gives the medallion to Virgil. He puts it in one of his pockets]

VIRGIL: Okay, Thomas. I’ll keep it safe.

THOMAS: Now, let’s go, there’s no time to waste.

[the guys get out of the castle and back into the ship, and they sail back to Sandersia, but this time, they head to the main dock, right in front of the Royal Castle. When they arrive there, Thomas can’t hold a horrified gasp. The castle, once bright and white, now looks dark and rotten. A permanent stormy cloud surrounds the castle, and the land around it looks as dry and dead as the rest of Sandersia]

THOMAS: This is worse than anything I could have ever imagined…

PATTON: My goodness… I don’t even know what to say… this is all wrong in so many ways I can’t even count them.

LOGAN: It looks like Romulus wasn’t bluffing when he said he planned to end your happy-ever-after imagination, Thomas. This is the result of him trying to lure your imagination into the path to dark creativity. If he goes on like this, soon you won’t be able to create any more light hearted stories ever again.

THOMAS: Well, I’m going to fix that if I have anything to say about it.

LOGAN: Thomas… I’ve been thinking about something for some time now…

THOMAS: What is it?

LOGAN: Whether you like to be called like that or not… you’re the Light Master.

THOMAS: So?

LOGAN: You have power over us. If you wanted, you could force us to obey your will, and that includes Romulus too. Perhaps you could force him to split up, even if against his will.

THOMAS: Would that be harmful for Roman?

LOGAN: I… I don’t know for certain…

THOMAS: What does your intuition tell you, Logan?

LOGAN: Well…

THOMAS: Well?

LOGAN: Something tells me that it wouldn’t be good for any of them, neither for Roman nor for Remus. Perhaps a forced splitting could be a traumatic experience for both of them, with unexpected results.

THOMAS: Then, that’s out of the question, Logan. You know I would never endanger anyone of you.

LOGAN: I know… but I had to tell you so that you had all your options available, Thomas. There could be a moment when that would be your only available resource to put an end to this situation.

THOMAS: I know, but I’m not putting Roman into that if I can avoid it. He sent us to find that medallion. I’m sure it will be of help. Now, let’s go. Romulus is waiting.

PRINCE GUY: Yes, let’s go.

THOMAS: Um… Prince Guy, it would be better if you and Ira waited for us here.

PRINCE GUY: What? But I wanna help too!

THOMAS: I know, but you are too vulnerable. Romulus would only have to move a finger and you would poof out as if you had never existed. I wouldn’t forgive myself if he did that, and it would crush Roman when he came back to his senses and realized he killed his own brother. Please, listen to me.

IRA: He’s right, your majesty. I used to be a Side too. And their matters are too much beyond our control right now. We must let them do the job. I trust them with all my heart, and so should you.

PRINCE GUY: Okay… if you say so…

THOMAS: I promise you’ll have news from us as soon as we can. We’ll bring your brother back and put an end to this mess, you’ll see.

PRINCE GUY: Okay, Thomas. I trust this in your hands. Bring my brother back, please.

THOMAS: I promise.

IRA: I’ll take care of him, as always, Thomas.

THOMAS: I know you will, Ira.

[Thomas, Logan, Patton, Virgil and Deceit get out of the ship and approach the castle walls. Strangely enough, there are no guards anywhere and the doors are open]

VIRGIL: I don’t like this, it is too easy…

LOGAN: I would love for this to be Roman’s doing, trying to help us… but you’re right, it’s unnerving. It’s like the calm before the storm.

DECEIT: We’ll have to watch our backs.

[Thomas and the Sides enter the castle, and find no opposition until they get to the throne room. There, Romulus is waiting for them]

ROMULUS: Oh… look who’s here… If it isn’t my former husband and friends paying me a visit.

THOMAS: What have you done, Romulus? What have you done of Sandersia? You’ve destroyed everything!

ROMULUS: Do you think so? I think it looks pretty neat right now.

THOMAS: Your mind must be completely twisted if you think that’s neat!

ROMULUS: My mind? Thomas, if there’s anything twisted, it’s you. I am your Creativity, in the state I was originally intended to be. If that says something about someone, it’s you. I’m the way you wanted me to be!

THOMAS: That’s not true! I would have never wanted anything like that!

ROMULUS: Oh, of course you did, Tommy Salami! This is who I am, and this is who you want me to be! Maybe you were scared of me as a child, but now you’re an adult, and you know you want me.

THOMAS: You’re lying!

ROMULUS: If you search your feelings, you’ll know I’m not. Moreover, you are the one who’s been lying to yourself all this time. With a little help of your snake, of course.

DECEIT: What?

ROMULUS: It was you who tried to convince him into thinking I was twisted. Probably because you were jealous of me, of course. You couldn’t stand having in your way someone greater than you, and you tried to lure me away! You almost succeeded and created that… how did Ira call him? …that operetta prince you named Roman. Someone you could manipulate more easily into your own scheming. Remember how gullible he was under your suggestions?

DECEIT: You’re a completely sick paranoiac.

ROMULUS: That’s what you would want me to believe, right? Too bad for you I’m not that gullible anymore. Now I know how I want this world to be, and I’m gonna mold it my way this time. And it’s gonna be great, because I, at last, am great!

VIRGIL: You’re not even half as good as Roman, and you’ll never be! Roman may have been pompous, proud, and a little annoying at times, but he was also chivalrous, loyal and generous, and should any of us need him, he would have put himself into all kind of dangers just to be by our side. He loved us and we loved him, but you could never understand love, could you?

ROMULUS: I do understand love. But what you are describing is not love. It is dependence, submission and frustration. And I’m not willing to fall into any of those ever again!

VIRGIL: Please, Roman, I know you’re still in there, somewhere. I know that you agree with me. Please, try to fight the fusion and get free of Romulus’ control. Come back to us! Come back to me!

[Romulus starts laughing evilly]

ROMULUS: My God, you sound so pathetic… How could Roman even put his eyes on a creature as pitiful as you are…

VIRGIL: [pulling out the medallion] Roman, you asked us to retrieve this. If this can be of any help, please fight and tell us what we should do!

[Romulus shows a face of shock upon seeing the medallion]

ROMULUS: Where… where did you get that from?

THOMAS: So you know it?

ROMULUS: [suddenly switching to Remus’ voice] Know it? I hate it! It was a reminder of all my years of suffering!

THOMAS: …Remus? Is that you?

REMUS: Yes, it’s me!

LOGAN: Whatever this medallion is, it’s destabilizing the fusion.

THOMAS: What is this medallion?

REMUS: Roman gave it to me… the day he left me on the island. I never understood why, but the more I looked at it, the more I hated Roman for putting me in my misery.

ROMAN: [also speaking through Romulus] It was a parting gift.

VIRGIL: [his face lightens up] Roman!

REMUS: A parting gift?

ROMAN: A symbol of our bond.

REMUS: Bond? Please, don’t be so cynical! What bond? You hated me! Just as much as I hate you now!

ROMAN: That’s not true! I…

PATTON: [mumbling] Keep going, Roman…

ROMAN: … I loved you. No matter how much I tried to hide it or how much I avoided the word… you are my brother. You are part of me! How could I not love you?

REMUS: That’s bulls… [bleep] ! If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me like that, all alone in that island! You’re only saying that now because you want to part from me again! Anyone could see it!

ROMAN: It was a mistake, and now I can see clearly that. Yes, I want to split right now, because this fusion is not right, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose contact with you again. We could try to start from scratch in our relation. I could try to act as your brother, if you let me.

[there’s a moment of doubt. Then, suddenly, both Roman and Remus voices sound at the same time as if they were struggling, and then Romulus voice is back]

ROMULUS: [angry] You two are doing nothing! Did you really think that I would let you destroy me and do nothing about it? No way! I’m Romulus, and you two will obey my will just like anybody else!

THOMAS: Let them go, Romulus! Right now!

ROMULUS: I can see what’s the trouble here! That stupid Roman is too attached to someone in Sandersia, and his memory of him helps Roman fight me. But I’m about to solve that right now!

[Romulus points at a window nearby. After a few moments, someone crosses the window, crashing loudly through the stained glass. After a second of confusion, everyone sees it’s the Prince Guy]

PRINCE GUY: What’s happened? I was on the ship, then suddenly I started floating away!

ROMULUS: [to Thomas] Did you seriously think that keeping him away from me would keep him out of my reach, Thomas? This is Sandersia, my domain, and I control anything from this point to the farthest place! Nothing can escape from me while it is in Sandersia! [to the Prince Guy] Hello, Prince Guy! You are the only obstacle avoiding Roman’s total submission to me. But I’m going to fix that now! Say goodbye, fake prince!

THOMAS: [scared] What? No! Don’t you dare!

[Romulus starts laughing evilly, then the Prince Guy starts becoming translucent]

PRINCE GUY: Help me!

LOGAN: He’s disappearing!

THOMAS: Stop!

PATTON: I can’t look!

THOMAS: [in a desperate yell] I said STOOOOOOOP!!!!

[The Prince Guy suddenly goes back to normal. A struggling voice is coming from Romulus. He’s in pain]

ROMULUS: What… is happening?

[Thomas is pointing at Romulus, he has a face of fury and anger, never seen before on him, a face that terrifies the others]

ROMULUS: Stop… it hurts! Aw! Stop!

[Thomas doesn’t say a word. Instead, he starts screaming in berserk fury. Romulus throws a quick yelp, and his body suddenly explodes in a brown cloud of smoke that covers everything. After a few moments of confusion, the smoke vanishes, and in the place were Romulus stood, there are Roman and Remus, both lying on the floor unconscious]

VIRGIL: [horrified] Roman! What have you done, Thomas!?

[suddenly coming to his senses, he realizes what he has done]

THOMAS: Oh, no… What have I done? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…

[Virgil runs to check on Roman]

VIRGIL: Are you okay, Roman? Please, don’t die!

LOGAN: Don’t worry, Virgil, he must be alive. Otherwise, all of Sandersia would have collapsed already.

THOMAS: I didn’t want to do this… I don’t know what’s happened to me…

PRINCE GUY: I owe you my life, though, Thomas. Thank you for saving me. And maybe you saved Roman too and all of Sandersia.

THOMAS: Yes, but at what cost?

[Roman starts showing signs of life]

ROMAN: Aw… Everything hurts…

VIRGIL: [happy] You’re alive! Thank goodness you’re alive!

[Virgil hugs Roman]

PATTON: Welcome back, kiddo.

ROMAN: I’m… I’m sorry, guys. This has been my fault. I shouldn’t have fallen to temptation so easily… Aw… I feel so bad, though… It’s such a strange feeling in my whole being…

[Remus starts waking up too]

LOGAN: Look out, guys. Remus is waking up too.

REMUS: Do not fear… In the state I am now, I couldn’t even kill a fly… Not even to use them as sprinkles for my deodorant.

PATTON: Gross…

ROMAN: [getting up, with Virgil holding him] Are you okay, Remus?

REMUS: What does it matter to you, anyway?

ROMAN: Of course it matters to me. I told you, I want to rekindle our relationship. You are my brother…

REMUS: So… you weren’t lying earlier?

ROMAN: I wasn’t lying.

REMUS: [getting up, suddenly angry] And you think after all these years, you deserve a chance to rekindle our relationship? It’s too late for that, Roman! The hate I feel over you won’t disappear just because you tell me a few cute, corny words!

ROMAN: There’s nothing else I can do, if you just wanted to listen…

REMUS: I don’t want to listen! I’m gonna retreat now, because I’m not ready for a fight right now, but I’ll be back! And it won’t be a friendly encounter! Mark my words!

[Remus jumps through the broken window and disappears]

ROMAN: As you wish, brother…

[Ira bursts through the door, scared]

IRA: Is the Prince Guy all right!? Is he here!? He was suddenly flying towards the castle and I couldn’t do anything…

PRINCE GUY: Relax, Ira. I’m fine.

IRA: [taking a deep breath of relief] Thank goodness, your majesty. I was really scared for your safety!

PRINCE GUY: Thank you so much, my dear friend.

PATTON: Are you feeling good enough to walk, Roman? Do you need some time to rest?

ROMAN: I think I can walk… but first, I have something to fix.

[Roman rises both hands. The window fixes itself, and light and color returns to the throne room. Voices start being heard in the next room]

ROMAN: There. I think Sandersia should be back to normal now.

PRINCE GUY: Thank you so much, brother.

ROMAN: But seriously, though, what is this strange feeling I’m feeling? I had never felt something like this before.

VIRGIL: [still by his side, off-screen] It’s probably the stress of the situation and residual effects from the fusion. I’m sure you’ll feel better soon, you’ll see.

ROMAN: I hope so… And I’m so sorry for making you go through all of this, my love. I would never hurt you, you know it, right? [looks at Virgil and shows a face of shock] Wait a second… what is your hair?

[there’s a shot of Virgil. His hair is now combed to the back, just like Roman’s]

VIRGIL: What? What’s wrong with my hair? [showing a theatrical voice] Isn’t it good enough? An emo has to slay!

LOGAN: Oh, no! Virgil, stay away from Roman, now!

[now Virgil’s wearing a purple sash over his hoodie, his eyeshadow has disappeared]

VIRGIL: [singing like Roman and doing the princely pose] I want adventure in the great dark, somewhere! I want it more than I can tell!

[The Prince Guy grabs Virgil and separates him from Roman]

VIRGIL: [same theatrical voice] There’s nothing you can do to separate me from my true love!

ROMAN: [scared] What is going on?

[after a few seconds, the sash disappears and Virgil’s eyeshadow returns]

VIRGIL: Wait, what? What’s happened?

[a couple of seconds later, his hair turns back to normal, with the bangs over the forehead]

ROMAN: I… I don’t understand…

LOGAN: Sadly, I have seen and felt these symptoms before… only that the last time, they went in the opposite direction. Roman, did you say that you were feeling weird?

ROMAN: …yes, a strange awful feeling I had never felt before…

LOGAN: It can only be that, then. Roman… I’m so sorry, but… you were corrupting Virgil.

ROMAN: What? But that… that would mean that…

LOGAN: You have turned into a Dark Side.

VIRGIL: Wait, what? But that’s impossible! How could he suddenly become a Dark Side?

LOGAN: I don’t know if it’s for Roman’s union with Remus or for their abrupt separation, but the symptoms are clear. As Virgil is a Light Side, you were corrupting him now, Roman, and a lot faster than other times the corruption has happened, perhaps for the amount of energy you had to use to restore Sandersia back to normal. You must stay away from Virgil for the time being.

ROMAN: This can’t be… This has to be a nightmare! How could I be a Dark Side!? I’m one of Thomas’ main Sides! I cannot be repressed!

LOGAN: And yet, we have seen several cases already of Dark Sides turning into Light Sides. So, the possibility of a Light Side turning into a Dark Side was already something we should have expected to be possible.

ROMAN: What are we going to do? How can we fix this?

LOGAN: I don’t know, Roman. But as for now, you must stay away from us, and I’m sorry.

VIRGIL: No, no way! You are nuts if you think I’m gonna leave my husband behind just like that!

ROMAN: Virgil, you have no choice. If what Logan said is true… you can’t stay close to me, or I would destroy you.

VIRGIL: But I can’t just leave you!

ROMAN: Do you remember what you told me the first time I tried to kiss you, when you still were a Dark Side? Do you remember how you felt back then? That’s exactly how I’m feeling right now. You should know better than anybody else that this is the right thing to do.

VIRGIL: [with a face and voice of pain] I know, but… I don’t wanna lose you now… And what will become of you?

ROMAN: Don’t worry, my love. I’ll be okay. Besides, there’s no way this could be permanent or irreversible. If you changed from Dark to Light, then I can do it too. We’ll find a way to be reunited someday, you’ll see. Now go back to the living room.

PRINCE GUY: Don’t worry, guys. I promise to take care of him while you think of something.

VIRGIL: Please, do.

[Thomas and the others start walking to the door]

ROMAN: Goodbye, my love. Until we meet again. Because I assure you, even if I have to move heaven and earth to find a way, we’ll be together again, somehow.

VIRGIL: I know. Until we meet again, Roman, I love you…

[Virgil walks some steps. Then suddenly turns back, runs and gives a long kiss to Roman, then runs to the door in tears. Patton runs behind him]

ROMAN: [also in tears] I love you too, Virgil.

THOMAS: [looking at the camera] We need to think about something to fix this somehow, so if you excuse us, and until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out.

[end card]

[Patton is hugging Virgil in front of the royal carriage, Virgil’s crying]

PATTON: I’m so sorry, kiddo. I’m so sorry…

VIRGIL: What are we going to do, dad? It was hard enough when I was a Dark Side and he was a Light Side, but I had made up my mind back then. Now that I have experienced being with him for real and I had got used to the idea I’d be with him for the rest of my life, suddenly I lose him again. It’s not fair!

PATTON: Please, think positively, son. You still don’t know if this is going to be forever. Maybe we can fix this somehow.

VIRGIL: But how? How are we going to fix this? When my change, or Deceit’s change, happened, it was fortuitous. We can’t just control how we become Light or Dark like we change clothes or makeup.

PATTON: I know, but despair isn’t going to help you get to a solution, so don’t despair, please. In the meantime, we are here for you, remember? We love you and we won’t let you down on this one.

VIRGIL: I know, dad, and I love you too.

PATTON: Now, let’s go home. When we have rested from all of this and recovered our strength, we’ll be able to think more straight, even though we’re gay.

[Patton cleans some black tears from Virgil’s cheek and gives him a fatherly kiss on the cheek. Then the others come out through the castle door]

THOMAS: Are we good, now?

PATTON: Yes, I think so, for the time being at least. Virgil, I want you to sleep in my room tonight.

VIRGIL: No, I don’t wanna be a burden for you, dad…

PATTON: If you don’t want, then I’ll go sleep in your room, but I’m not leaving you alone tonight, mister. I’ll make you a nice, comforting chicken soup that will help you feel better.

VIRGIL: Okay, dad, if you insist.

DECEIT: I still wonder how that could happen, though. How could Roman transform like this?

LOGAN: Who knows?

THOMAS: I fear this could be my fault. Perhaps I shouldn’t have forced the separation like that. I should have listened to Logan’s intuition.

LOGAN: It’s in part my fault too, I shouldn’t have suggested you to do that in the first place. However, you were not being yourself. What happened to you?

THOMAS: I still don’t know. I saw that the Prince Guy was being deleted in front of my eyes, and I literally lost my mind and acted out of instinct.

VIRGIL: Thomas, I don’t blame you for anything. You were doing just what you thought was the best, and if you hadn’t done that, now the Prince Guy would be dead and Roman would still be trapped inside of Romulus, maybe forever.

THOMAS: I wish there had been another way… Okay, let’s go home now. We’ll fix this somehow, I promise.

[the gang jumps in the carriage and it goes away until it gets lost in the distance]

[zombeamik]

OKAY LIVE REACTION TO RIKAS BACKSTORY DLC HERE WE GO

okay so spoilers again lol

okay so i thought when you played the scret ending 1? riaks backstory was free? e-e

HAHA NVM WAS JUST THE FIRST EPISODE time to go buy 330 hour glasses ANYWAYS

okay seriosuly thing for people who dont like Rika, for what she did. You should honestly play her backstory.. it really could clear some things up for you, and it may chnage your mind, just abit hopefully.

you shouldnt just say no to story, just because you don’t like her.

Of course, if you really dont want to read it fine, but it can probably really help.

Episode 1

this god lady sounds like Jaehee tbh SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH Mina is Rikas real name :3 How cute already liking this. WONT BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE RETS OF IT THOUGH

Mina/Rika, they really didnt deserve what happened to them.

HOLY FCUK I HONESTLY THOUGHT MIKA WAS FUCKING RIKA BUT IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND OKAY OR AM I GETTING TI MIXED UP?

okay gotta buy 330 hours glasses but THEN ILL CONTINUE MY REACTION

OKAY IM BACK TO REACT AND TO CRY OKAY COOL

the game didnt like me buying more hourglasses o it decided to messwith mu audio.

okay had to restart my phone THANKS ANOTHER SETBACK

Episode 2

okay so, i like Mika back here. BUT WHAT I SAW IN THE V ROUTE, thats not cool Mika. you were kinda okay? you were already a little manipulative to a three year old. “My little sister, should always have short hair” how about you shut up. Twins? All she ever wated was to be loved and not taken away from her “Twin”, Maybe thats why she cared so much for Saeran and Saeyoung before she ddi what she did. Mika no, no. You’re the one who put those awful things in Minas/Rikas mind ugh okay i go back to not liking her, that was very fast.

Okay grown up Rika/Mina, okay rika i like you when you arent doing ur creepy eyes. UGH honestly im so mad at Mika, honestly the fuck. CUTE PICTURES OF V AND RIKA YES okay i know, i like V and all but tbh they were cute together.

excuse me V you shouldve said THATS WHY I ADORE UR SUN BC THATS ALL SHE NEEDED TO HEAR, she didnt want to hear that you loved her because of her darkness.  She wnated someone to love her, or show her a tiny bit of warmth so she could find the light inside her. So, so far, Mika is the one who introducded her to this “darkness” SO UNLESS RIKAS BACKSTORY CAN GIVE ME A REASON TO NOT DISLIKE MIKA AND FORGIVE HER I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT.

Episode 3

THATS THE FIRST THING I OPEN UP TO? 

UR SO CREEPY, WHY DID GOD SEND YOU? THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE YOU

sorry what?

Mina, Serena

Im glad she went with Rika, I like Mina, but Rika ive gotten used to it. Maybe she’ll go back to Mina one day?

Oh. Okay i dont like Rika/Mina/Serena’s Mother. and the pastor, no wonder she started a cult, i mena look at his outfit. WHAT KIND OF SHITTY PASTOR ARE YOU

NO WONDER SHE STARTED A FUCKING CULT, YOU ARE ALL DOUCHEBAGSSSSSSSS

“NEEDS ALOT OF PRAYERS” how about you shut up, man,  Pastor my fucking ass, Devil worshipper is more fucking likely.

excuse me pastor, your voice in my ears IS FUCKING CREEPY DO YOU MIND

UR LIKE A PERVERT

“ your body has grown, is it satan?” HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LEAVE HER ALONE

yep, i fully understamd now why she created a cult. okay im only on 3 of 8 but still

EXCUSE ME LADY, YOUR DAUGHTER CLEARLY SAID NOT O GOING WITH THE PASTOR LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS AND DONT BE A RUDE BITCH

I THOUGHT WE WERE LOOKING FOR HER FATHER?

WHY DID WE FIND MIKA IM SO CONFUSED

oh, her dads the head of the hospital, okay. all good.

YEAH YOU TELL HIM MIKA

YEAH THANK YOU NURSE KICK HIM OUT P[LEASE

WEEE THANKS NURSE

she just wnated to be free from hatred? 

BUT NOBODY WOULD ALLOW HER, THEY KEPT PUSHING HER FURTHER INTO THE DARKNESS

okay gone back to not liking Mika just abit

oh.

now i dont know?

Episode 4

THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR EITHER

Mika had cacner in her eyes.

Mika lived a while though, so her dad must have paid the bills.

MIKA LIED ABOUT THE PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADRESS THE FCUK

Did she really grow up at the orphange? PROBABLY FUCKING NOT

I was just feeling sad for her, but then she did that.

WAIT RIKA HONEY NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Oh.

so she made V blind because of that?

PUPPY

okay no, no new puppy then.

MS. HEAD OF THE RFA

no v, shes brainwashed him.

THE BOTANICAL GARDEN

No V you should focus on saeyoung because ive turned saeran into somebody i regret now.

Rika no.

you didnt have to shut everyone out, 

he asked you to leave?

Ugh im so confused?

WELL MIKA WAS RIGHT TEACHER THEY WERE BAD PARENTS

GROSS PASTOR PLEASE DONT SAY LITTLE LABM AROUND MINA, THATS CREEPY

Oh.

right yeah, she only separated saeran and saeyoung because of their parents.

Mika, why. 

she didnt have to lie about the orphanage, and then why you said you made Rika think it was all her fault, and then ugh

A FUCKING PUPPY 

WAIT SALLY

SHUT UP MOTHER, ITS A CUTE DOG AND WE BOTH LOVE IT

YEAH SALLY YOU GROWL AT HER

Oh.

I KNEW IT

the pastor is a creep, a pervert, child molester

EXCUSE ME MOTHER?

THATS THE FUCKING RITUAL TO GET SATAN OUT OF HER? 

EXCUSE ME THAT IS FUCKING ILLEGAL PASTOR OR NOT

dont fucking freak out, you told her to leave because you didnt want sally in the house and now your like THE FUCK YOU GOING SERENA HUH? ugh

Rika no, that isnt the right choice.

EXCUS ME MIKA DIED?

THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS THERE WHEN RIKA WAS OLDER

DID MIKA LIE ABOUT DYING?

SALLY UR SO CUTE

oh bad momesnt to mention sally being cute.

listen, all rika every wanted was to love someone.

defo a cult, Believer’s? This some sort of god cult.

WAIT NO SALLY DONT CRY

oh she was 16.

oh dear.

well that was a roller coaster

Episode 5

great she started working a church, and became a nun. even more fantastic

OH SWEET HER NAME IS FINALLY RIKA

I do like the names Mina and Serena but still Rika.

well wjat she thought she was doing was okay. Not wanting anyone to be abandoned?

she just uh turned it into something alot bigger than helping out at a church

She only treated people the way she did was because she didnt know how loving parents acted, so what she thought she was doing was right to her, since she didnt know anything else.

okay so shes 18.

and she wnated to shoe people her light instesd fo her darkness

AN THEN SHE MEETS V

OH THE CLOUD PHOTO, man when she looked at it she said Mother, because thats the first thing that came to mind. 

SHE JUST WNATED TO BE A SUN BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW

SAEYOUNG

WHY DOES TINY SAEYOUNG SOUND LIKE BIG SAEYOUNG

oh

yeah she thought that of she didnt protect saeyoung he’d rot just like Mika.

heh

Oh.

she could see her and mIka in him so she grew attached

she onyl wanted to do good

Rika the Angel but she thought of herself as Rika the Devil ok

Episode 6

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUNG

okay so she didnt want yoosung to find out about her darkness

Rika honey, its okay. he still would ahve loved you.

Okay so Oh got it okay.

Yoosung is the son of rikas mothers sister,

SHE WAS SO WORRIED HE’D BE RUINED IF HE STAYED CLOSE

RIKA NO DONT OUT YOURSELF DOWN

YOU’RE EQUAL TO YOOSUNG D:

REUSING PHOTOS ARENT YOU CHERITZ OK

BUT HYE V

she couldnt feel anything? well V is both light and dark rika.

man v still doesnt know rikas real name BUT WE DOOOOO

episode 7

Man v ur kinda smooth with words but at the same time like you just met.

V MAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND

okay so she modelled for V and then when she was doing that they didnt talk much? man V atleast tell her she did good. how rude.

ZENNNN

v the fuck you didnt even say goodbye, just IM GONNA GO GRAB MY CAMERA AND THEN FCUKING WALK OFF

V no.

you didnt even compliment her or anything, you just said heres lets take pictures but we aint gonna talk and thn when your done, i aint gonna say you did well or anything like that.

V you kinda an asshole.

NO SALLY

okay shes fine.

V was just curious about me because im not like the rest”

kinda sounds like it,

YES RIKA YOU DO DESERVE THE SUN HONEY

YOU ARE THE SUN I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS

oh so it was Mina that wanted to be loved.

well shes still a prt of you rika, so that measn you wanted to be loved aswell.

okay so she stopped visiting V

V came to visit her

make up your fuckingmind V

“Heathen Cult”

well yeah basically.

JUMIN

V WHAT THE FUCK

“ can you show me how dark you are?”

HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NO

SHE CLEARLYT SAID NO V

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING PUSH HER TO SHOW YOU

okay all good

she told V everything

and she scared she;ll end up like Mika.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ANOTHER V AND RIKA PHOTO

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS

WAIT HONEY DONT CRY

MINA YEEE

LAST EPISODE 

wow thats fast.

okay so saeyoung went abroad and then she stopped disagreeing when saeren was saved

then she met Jumin a year later, sweet.

HAPPY ENDING

WELL YOU HAVE ONE NOW RIKA UR HAPPY AND YEEE

okay so then she got her aparement

and then she dint know if things to turn to the worst or the best

well id say the worst but you did save alot of people.

you may have brainwashed them but they would ahve probably died without her help.

MIKA UR STILL ALIVE

UR BLIND THO

OH

YUP OKAY GOT IT

MIKA DIDNT TURST V SO RIKA WAS LIKE OK YEAH I DONT EITHER BC UR ALWAYSSSSSS RIGHT

right.

Mina believed her.

so she agreed.

SO CUTE

WHAT

MIKA NO

USE SAERAN AND YRUN HIM INTO A HACKER

HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP MIKA

IM BACK TO NOT LIKING YOU

MINA 

YOU

YOU MANIPULATED MINA INTO DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK

SHE TRUSTED AND YOU

AND YOU USED HER

“I must not use that boy. I must save him”

WELL THANK YOU RIKA

what kind of bullshit is that.

WELL YOU SHOULD DEFIENTLY TELL V BUT WHEN MIKA SAY NO YOU GOTTA AGREE BECAUSE MINA TRUSTS HER

EXCUS EME RIKA

MINA WAS THE LIGHT

mika is the dark

mika just please shut up.

okay she died. thats sad but like

NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID

CUTE PHOTO OF RIKA YES

Thoughts

thst was um

one crazy ride

AND I WAS THERE FOR IT

so glad i read it.

even if you dont like rika at all

please do

its worth it.

as you can see my thoughts were jumbled in the actual live reaction

but it makes alot of sense kind aof?

im to lazy to write a review so thats the best you’re gonna get.

Its really good, to actually understand why Rika/Mina/Serena turned out the way she was.

i mena i already forgave her in the V ending

but even though she did those bad things, if someone just loved her and didnt feeed her with horrible views of the world, she was still a caring girl even though the darkness took a hold of her,

Im not glad of what happened to her, but if it didnt we would have never even met anyone. so as mucha s i hate to say it, im glad of what happened, and 100% glad we could help her through with it.

Okay, well that was fun.

[writing-parker]

Dark Winter III- A Series of Vignettes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Vignettes: A series of episodes and events in the reader’s and Bucky’s relationship. Big and small, sweet or angsty, these stories lay out the moments in time they carved out for themselves in the crazy world they live in. They all take place in the same universe, but do not need to be read in any particular order.

Summary Winter in New York is long and cold, and this year is worse than any other. 

Warning: Descriptions of violence, descriptions of torture and attempted suicide. This is rated M for smut as well. 18+.

A/N: This was really hard to write, and I’m pretty sure I bit off more than I could chew, but here is the final part of Dark Winter! I said it was going to be shorter, but it’s not (oops). I also said it was going to be fluffier and it is (mostly). So I’m 1 for 2, which seems fine to me. Anyway, i hope it makes sense. 

I love getting comments and feedback, it makes me want to write so much more.

As always, let me know if you would like to be tagged in this vignettes.

Dark Winter Dark Winter II

 You’re sitting at your kitchen table, the lid on Bucky’s ‘file’ still closed tight. You know you should feel grateful that Bucky wants to share it with you, but it was intimidating. And it was going to change things. There was really no way to deny it, it would.

You really didn’t care what was in it, and you knew the basics already. He fell from the train, was found and tortured by HYDRA, spent the next 75 years committing the world’s most heinous crimes on behalf of the people that tortured him.  You knew you were really over simplifying things, but in your head, that’s how it was.

Because Bucky never really talked about it with you. HYDRA.  He talked about Steve finding him, and Wakanda, and even life before World War II. You know he spoke about his time in HYDRA with his therapists. Surely had to recount his memories with Shuri. But he never went into detail about what they did to him with you.

So, in your head you compartmentalized Bucky’s time as the winter soldier as not him. Irrelevant and unconnected to who you saw him as. Of course that was ideal thinking. Those things- no matter how awful and terrible- happened to him. Just as much as anything else. And you would never hold him responsible for them, but you couldn’t continue on pretending they never happened.

It was selfish. But you were scared. Not of him or what he did or what he was capable of. No.

When you thought about what it meant for him to want to share this with you, that’s what scared you. It’s not that you had ever expected it to be some sort of fling or friends with benefits, but when you met Bucky you didn’t know it was possible to feel the way you felt now.

You pick up the phone and call the only person who you know can help you sort your thoughts.

“Wanda,” You sigh when she answers on the first ring. You hadn’t spoken with her since the incident, as you had started to refer to it.

Barely giving her a chance to respond you launch into the full story, telling her everything, even though you were sure she had already heard most of it herself. Sam liked to gossip.

“He wants me to read all of this-”

“His file, I know.” Wanda says, “Have you read it?”

“…How?” You had gotten home barely 30 minutes ago.

“Because lover-boy and I finished breakfast about 10 minutes ago.” Right. Wanda lived at the tower and so did Peter. The thought of the three of them co-existing makes you laugh. Bucky was open with you but he wasn’t exactly a chatter box with everyone else.

“He told you?” You’re so confused.

“I read minds, Y/n.” She says flatly.

Right. Of course. You knew that. “Thought you stayed out of our heads.”

“I’m sorry,” She at least sounds a little chagrined. “But they were really loud.”

“What was he thinking about?” You mumble through the phone.

“How pretty you are.” She laughs.

“Wanda, come on! If you’re gonna invade his privacy at least share with me!” You’re laughing too, knowing she’ll never tell. It wasn’t your business.

“Why are you freaking out? He’s trying to be more open with you.” Wanda sounds skeptical.

“Because this is huge. It feels like there’s no going back from this.” You busy yourself by pacing the kitchen.

“That’s why he gave it to you.” Wanda says hesitantly, “Y/n, if you’re not 100% sure about this you need to tell Bucky right now. He’s all in.”

“Wanda I’m in love with him,” You laugh breathily, incredulously, “I’ve been in love with him. I’m scared.”

Wanda pauses. “Of Bucky?”

“Of… my feelings.” You’re over-simplifying it, but you know she’ll understand. You’d told her about your parents and their tumultuous relationship, the way it affected you. “Everything that comes with it.” You gesture vaguely even though she can’t see it.

“Bucky’s not going anywhere,” Wanda says like she knows it’s true. Maybe she did. “He’s not like-”

You snort. “I don’t really want to talk about my daddy issues right now.”

You can practically hear Wanda roll her eyes, “Whatever. All I know is that I’ve been inside both of your heads and I’ve never seen anything like what you two have. Like magnets.” She pauses, “Read the file. Figure it out.” The line goes dead.

With a groan you grab the box and lock yourself in your bedroom, ready for a long day.

_____________________________________________________

Bucky hasn’t heard from you since yesterday morning. Realistically, he knew you were just doing what he asked and it was a lot to take in. But still. Now it was Sunday night and he barely slept last night because of his nightmares and he just wanted you.

He had been thinking all day that maybe it was a bad idea.  Maybe it was too much too soon.

Sometime in the afternoon, from his office on the floor below, Steve heard Bucky’s incessant pacing and went to check on him.

“What if she leaves?” Bucky whispered.

“She won’t.” Steve said, he was sure of it. Bucky throws him an exasperated look.

“What if she’s scared of me after she reads it?”

“Buck, you already tried to strangle her.” If looks could kill Steve would have been on the ground, “What? It’s true. If she was scared she would have been long gone by now.”

It was mostly the truth, but even Steve hadn’t read the file in its entirety. Bucky’s absentmindedly looking out the window when his new phone pings. He had been embarrassed to tell Tony he smashed his old one, but the other man simply nodded and there was one sitting on his bed last night.

Y/n: Come over.

Bucky doesn’t hesitate.

Bucky Barnes: On my way.

Your hands shake as they close the lid tight on Bucky’s file, the words flashing through your brain. His SHEILD file had been easy enough to read, there wasn’t much information and most of it pertained to Steve and WWII and his fall from the train.

It took you more than a day to read his HYDRA file. It was everything, from how they found him, made him the Winter Soldier.

The asset is not responding to traditional torture methods… asset’s enhanced abilities make him a threat to officers, must be restrained at all times… Electric shock has been used as a method of compliance… the asset does not recognize photos of close family…

You feel dizzy and nauseous. You would no longer have to imagine the horrors he went though, they would always be in your head now.

The asset tried to physically remove HYDRA prosthetic from his body. Needed urgent medical attention… Asset showed resistance to eliminating target, suggested use of psychoactive ingredients in next round of shock therapy…

Seven decades of torture laid out in front of you. The man you loved, a prisoner of war for so, so long. Pages and pages and you couldn’t stop reading. The worst were those first few years, what they had to do to turn him into an unrecognizable monster.  

Asset is non-compliant with HYDRA missions, will require extra time and voltage in the shock chair…

Water is withheld from asset for 48 hours before next enhanced interrogation. When weak, his mind is more susceptible to influence…

You had felt faint when you read …asset attempted suicide by asphyxiation… six months after his capture.

Finally… we are certain that asset’s loyalties are with HYDRA.

After that there were a lot of detailed mission reports from Bucky himself. Mechanical. Non-feeling. They made him commit gruesome, horrific crimes like it was nothing. Innocent or guilty, he killed the people they told him to and reported back.

That’s all it is until Steve found him. Then there was no more HYDRA.

You’re too lost in your thoughts to hear him knock. When you don’t answer he opens the unlocked door and approaches where you’re sitting on the couch and rests a hand on your shoulder. You know it’s him immediately and rest one of your hands on top of his.

You sit like that for a moment.

“I’m really scared you’re gonna tell me that you realized I’m no good for you.” Bucky breaks the silence first.

You stand and turn to face him. He can tell you’ve been crying but he doesn’t say anything about it. One of your hands finds his shoulder and the other reaches up to trace your fingers across his jaw, his cheekbones, tucking some hair behind his ears. Your lips ghost over his before you pull him to you, arms wrapping around his neck.

“Bucky,” You breathe in his ear. Chills run down his spine. “I’m so sorry… for what they did to you.” He buries his face in your neck and shakes his head.

“The things I did…” He trails off.

“That wasn’t you.” You say surely, calmly. Certain.

“Don’t say that.” He untangles himself from your arms. “The things I did were very much me. You read the reports I wrote myself.” He’s not yelling, not angry. Just studying you intently, gauging your reaction.

“You didn’t even know your name,” You whisper. Bucky opens his mouth to protest, but you cut him off, “Listen to me, Bucky. It wasn’t you that did those things and I know you might never be able to believe that but I do and I need you to know and understand that. I don’t care what anyone else thinks or says.”

He nods. You can’t read his face.

“And I’m sorry about the pain they caused you.” Your voice breaks. “And…I love you.” You didn’t even know what you were saying until it came out of your mouth. But it was true.

Bucky’s eyes snap up to meet yours. Hesitantly, with no malice in his voice, he says, “I don’t want you to say that because you feel sorry for me.” He didn’t deserve your love.

You give him a little smile and reach for his hand, fingers tracing up his arm, “No.” You say, “I love you because you bring me coffee on Tuesday mornings because you know I have a morning conference call. I love that you trusted me with all of this”- you gesture to his file- “And because you know what I’m about to say before I say it. The way you touch me.” Your eyes darken for a moment.

“I was in love with you before you ever kissed me.” You laugh, “You make me feel safe and you challenge me every day and I hate this speech so much but I’m in love with you.”

Bucky’s grinning, shaking his head, “All you’ve done is make my life difficult,” He says lightly. You’re both laughing, his hand finds your hip, “You’re all I think about. You’re all I worry about- I’ve never thought of all the ways I could lose someone before I met you. Your stupid face has me smiling all the time. No one’s scared of me anymore.” He throws his hands up with a dramatic eye roll.

“I’m better at this than you.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Bucky’s hand finds your cheek and he’s serious again, “I love you. You saved me.” His blue eyes search yours before he kisses you, full of passion, hand tangled in your hair. Your hands slide under his shirt leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls back, hand cupping your face, “And, oh my god, you’re so pretty.”

You laugh breathily, “So are you.”

“I’m pretty?” You both have goofy grins on your faces.

“Really pretty.”

Your hands slide farther up Bucky’s abdomen, towards his chest, pulling his shirt with them.

“What are you…?” Bucky trails off, with a long exhale, eyes fluttering closed as you trace over his abs and chest with your fingers. Before he realized what you were doing, you were pulling his shirt over his head.

His eyes open as you grab his hand and pull him down to the couch and straddle his waist. The act seems sexual, but the soft look in your eyes has him knitting his eyebrows in confusion. The moment turns serious again. You turn your attention to his left shoulder.

“I love this.” You say, fingers at the crook of his Vibranium arm, tracing up his bicep.

Bucky’s cheeks are red, and he can’t look you in the eye. You press your lips to the cold metal and he squirms away from you, uncomfortable.

“Y/n…”

You kiss his jaw, “What? It’s you.” Your fingers slide up his arm, to the spot where flesh meets metal. Shuri did such a good job with it, the transition is seamless.

You run your fingers over scars that you had previously thought were from HYDRA- five large, deep, long-healed scars where his shoulder meets his prosthetic. Now you know they were self-inflicted. You line each scar up with one of your fingers, tracing them towards his chest.

“You did this.” You say. It’s not a question or an accusation.

“I remember it hurting all the time. Wanting it off. Trying to take it off myself. I still hate it. I don’t get why… you…” Here he was, laying out all of his insecurities and broken pieces for you.

He didn’t get why you were here, in front of him, looking at him like that. He never would. But he would never question the god that put you here again.

He still won’t look at you, instead focusing on tugging gently at the ends of your hair, pulling the waves straight and watching them bounce back into place. Distracting himself.

“Bucky, look at me.” His eyes meet yours. They follow you as you slide off his lap and tuck yourself into his side. “I don’t love you despite all of this. Does that make sense?” He shrugs. You sigh, “It’s not like I read this stuff and thought ‘oh this sucks I maybe I can still love him’ I loved you and I read it and I still love you.”

You’re rambling, but you can’t stop, “You. I could care less about the arm. Keep it, or get rid of it, or replace with a bunch of knives like Edward Scissorhands.” You knew he would get the reference, you made him watch it on Halloween. He smiles a little. “But you would still be you.”

You gesture to the box on the ground, “All of that stuff, made you who you are today. Here with me. How could it ever make me leave you?”

“You should,” He says softly, looking up at you through thick lashes, “leave me.” He clarifies, even though you both know that’s not an option any more.

“You’re stuck with me, Barnes,” You lean up to suck his earlobe between your teeth, “You’re mine.”

Your words make him pull back, fists clenching, “I’m theirs, Y/n. They made very sure of that.” He stands, pushing you off him a little, “You should know… better than anyone.” His eyes drop to the purple bruises still littering your neck. He bends to pick up his shirt and cover himself, but you stand and stop him.

“They don’t get to have you,” You spit. Bucky knows you’re not frustrated with him, but with them. With HYDRA.

And then you’re kissing him, desperately, running your hands through his hair, pressing your body against his. His hands push your sweater down your arms.

“You’re…” He starts, but your lips are on his again, lighting every nerve in his body on fire.

“Yours.” You finish, warm breath hitting his ear, “I’m yours.”

Bucky nods desperately, dragging his lips down your jaw. His hand slides down your waist, hip, squeezing your ass. You gasp, trying to press yourself closer. He slides both hands down to your thighs, hoisting you up. You wrap your legs around his hips and grind down against him.

You feel your back hit the wall behind you. Your shirt rides up your sides, rough hands against your skin. His lips are latched to your collarbone, worshipping the skin there. Your head falls back against the wall with a soft thud.

Bucky looks at you: head thrown back in pleasure, lips parted in the soft light.

His knees almost give out.

“Bedroom,” You whisper in his ear. He doesn’t have a choice but to comply, latching his lips back to yours he blindly makes his way through your apartment, depositing you on your bed.

Bucky pushes you down on the mattress, body shaping to yours. Your hips strain forward, legs instinctively opening like a cradle. You feel him, hard against your clothed center.

“Oh god,” You moan, unable to stop your hips from jerking against his. He groans too, grinding against you. “Bucky.”

His teeth catch on the flesh under your jaw and he growls a deep, throaty sound of approval, “Keep saying my name like that.” He pants.

Bucky presses his hips to yours harder and sucks your earlobe between his teeth, skimming it with his tongue. His name falls from your mouth mindlessly, without a doubt his intention, “Bucky,”

With a pleased hum, he pulls away, sits back on his haunches to press his hand between your thighs. His fingers deftly work the button on your jeans, pulling them down your legs. His pants and your shirt are next. Having forgone a bra, you’re in front of him in just your panties, which he peels down your legs slowly.

“Fuck,” he says a little harshly, reverently. His cheeks are flushed. He licks his lips, eyes glazed, and his right hand skims down one of your thighs, sweeping over the gully between her hip bones. “You’re so gorgeous.”

You can’t help but blush under his intense scrutiny. You notice his eyes lingering on your neck, and slowly, he hunches back over and kisses you. Your lips part and welcome his tongue. Your hands reach down and unbutton his jeans, shoving them down his legs with his briefs. His cock bounces free against your abdomen.

His lips part from yours to trace down your jaw, then slowly, your neck. So gently, he ghosts his lips over the still-sore bruises. You sigh, eyes fluttering closed at the contact. “I’m so sorry,” He says into your skin, “I love you.” His flesh hand lifts to trace the bruises.

His hands shake.  

“Bucky?” You ask, voice laced with concern.

He wants to laugh, because he doesn’t know why he’s feeling like this. Just feels overwhelmed. This feels different. You grab his hand, press it to the skin above your heart. Your heart raced underneath his palm, pounding hard. “It’s okay.”  He searches your eyes, your mouth twitches with a smile, “Me too.”

The fast, rhythmic beating of your heart soothes him. He leans down again to kiss you, trying to put all of the love he’s feeling into it, “Make me yours.” He begs,

You sit up quickly, pushing him down on his back. You can’t help but run your hand over his cock experimentally. He inhales sharply, hips thrusting upward at the contact.

Habitually, Bucky reaches to your bedside table for a condom. Normally, he liked to take his time and make you come under his hands, his mouth before sliding into you, but tonight was different. He needed you now.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by your hand on top of his.

“I don’t….want…” You gesture to the condom in his hands, “Just you.”

Bucky nods, swallowing thickly.

“I’m clean,” You rush to say, “And I’m on birth control. And it’s only been you since-”

Bucky’s sitting up, chest against yours, kissing you sloppily, all tongue and teeth, hands knotted in yours hair. After a moment he falls back to the pillows, pulling you with him. Your hair curtains around both of your heads, shielding you from the outside world. Bucky kisses you again, soft, slow.

You shimmy up his body a little and reach between your legs to guide him inside you. The head of his cock parts your folds and you sink down on to him, undulating your hips a little so you can accommodate his length.  You both groan at the sensation of being joined together without any barriers.

“Oh,” You sigh.

You drop your head to his neck, adjusting to his size. Bucky’s lips find the sensitive skin under your ear, worrying the skin there. Eventually you sit up, staring down at him with a shy smile.

Bracing your hands against his chest, you start to move slowly on top of him, rocking your hips forward. Bucky inhales through his teeth, his eyes darting between your face and the juncture of your bodies. Using your shins for leverage, you ride him. His fingers tighten on your thighs, and he groans gravelly, thrusting up into you. “My god, Y/n. You feel… so... fuck.”

“Mmm,” you hum in agreement, clenching around him. You smile when he moans louder.

“Oh, fuck.” He swears again harshly, and props himself up on an elbow, he slides a hand up your thigh and abdomen so he can cup your breast. He squeezes it firmly and you sigh and close your eyes. Teasing your nipple with one hand he sits up and pulls the other into his mouth. You thrust down on him harder, pussy fluttering around his cock from the pleasure.

“Bucky,” You gasp when his pelvic bone rubs against your clit. Your thigs are starting to burn with the strain of holding yourself up, but your clit is throbbing, arousal leaking out of you to ease the friction of his cock inside of you.  

“Baby,” Bucky murmurs against your nest, nuzzling kisses up to your neck. “Let me.”

You’re confused as to what he means before he rolls you over on to your back. His cock slips out of you momentarily until he positions himself above you and then he’s pushing into you again, eliciting a moan.

He takes a leisurely pace until you adjust, and then he’s bracing himself on his forearms, careful not to pull on your hair. Then he begins thrusting more forcefully, one hand snaking down to light over your clit.

“Oh my god,” You whimper after a particularly hard thrust.

“You’re so tight. You feel so good,” Bucky presses his forehead against your cheek, breath hot and heavy on your neck.

“Y/n,” Bucky grits, you can tell he’s close, “Are you gonna come?” He forces out.

You moan softly, fingers carding through his damp hair. “Keep touching me like that.” You beg, jerking against him when you feel his fingers press harder against your clit.

“Fuck,” Your fingernails scratch down his back, causing Bucky to moan against you.

It doesn’t take long, with the manipulation of his clit enhanced by the sensation of his cock filling you, stretching your falls, and you come with an alarming suddenness only seconds later with an unrestrained cry.

Your walls pulse around his cock, and his grunts become raspier and more erratic- thrusts slamming into your hips, threatening to split you open. Your thighs fall open as far as they can, and you barely register when he comes inside you a moment later.

“Oh my god, Bucky,” You sound absolutely wrecked underneath him.

You look up at him. His body is pressed against yours, but he’s careful not to put his full weight on you. His eyes open slowly as he pulls out of you, rolling on his back before he pulls you to his chest.

“I love you so much,” He whispers, fingers tracing patterns on your cooling skin.

You pause, prop yourself up on his chest, “I love you too,” You say. You don’t look at him. Your voice sounds a million miles away.

“Hey,” Bucky says softly, tapping on your cheek, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” You try to sound confident, but you still won’t look at him.

“Did I hurt you?”

“What? God no. That was incredible,” You finally tilt your face up towards him. “Um, I’ve never said that to anyone before.”

Bucky sits up a little so he can get a better look at you. He smiles softly.

“It’s hard for me… my parents, they had a really… difficult relationship. It fucked me up,” You laugh a little, but you can’t find any other words. He knew you never really mentioned your mom and dad, but now he was realizing why.

“Oh.” Bucky says, “Oh.” He had been so caught up in what he was feeling, he didn’t stop to think that you might be feeling overwhelmed.

“He left her,” You cast your eyes downward, “And me.”

His heart sinks. “Those things I said about leaving… I didn’t mean it. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know! I’m not accusing you of anything.” You rush to say, “I know I just… wanted you to know.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks hesitantly. You’ve never opened up about your childhood to him, really never talked about anything before college. He suddenly feels like he’s been neglecting you because he’s never made you open up, like you had done to him.

It’s like you always knew what he needed and he was a step behind you.

“Not really,” You press a kiss to his chest. You feel his hesitation. “I will. Soon. We have time.” You smile softly before whispering, “I love you so much.”

There’s a lot more to say and you both know it. But there would be time. You had so much time.

Your legs tangle together, head fits under his shoulder. You fall asleep like that, tangled up together, not thinking about ever being separate again.

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