#it made it seem like she gave up so much when he didn’t when it turns out she like just did that

[basicallyjeankirschtein]

lost and found - toji x reader x sukuna

chapter 7: sukunas roommate

summary: sukuna brings you to his apartment so things don’t escalate with gojo and geto, there you meet his roommate.

* ooc, toji is shameless, crack, MDNI (a bit suggestive), NOT proof read 💔, lowkey i just am making the plot as i go sorry if it doesn’t make sense anymore i like adding random plot twists 💔

masterlist. prev. next

“um. if you don’t mind me asking… why is your roommates contact image frankie from shark tales?” you said between breathless giggles. you were too giggly to worry if the text you sent from sukunas phone sounded like sukuna or not. from the way he texted you, you assumed dry and cold. you hoped you pulled it off.

you were a giggling mess. this was so stupid. this huge, scary guy gave you his phone- willingly- to text his roommate you’d be coming over, and his profile picture is frankie from shark tales??? is sukuna secretly really funny?

your giggles seemed to be contagious, as sukuna couldn’t help but chuckle too. only chuckle, never actually laugh. you didn’t know why.

“he kinda looks like him. it’s a joke my friend uraume and i have.”

uraume? you’ve heard that name before. was it from the argument between shoko and geto? you think so.

that would make sense, actually.. you began to realize, your five brain cells working together to piece that shoko wasn’t the one to get sukuna to beat up gojo- but uraume.

you just giggled in response, looking down at the phone with curiosity by how much this man- toji, was blowing up his phone.

“should i-“ you were about to ask if you should respond to him, but sukuna was quick to shake his dead. “don’t.”

you nodded, biting your lip once more. you didn’t know how to respond to him, unsure if he was mad at you.

you took once glance at his stoic face, a flash of something mean in his eyes. for the millionth time this night, you curled into yourself, self conscious it was your doing to make him so mad.

sukuna is always sensing your discomfort. it made you feel bad for being so sensitive, and when he turned to give you a small, reassuring smile, your worry drowned away.

you were curious to what toji was saying, the phone was still buzzing with notifications from his number… was toji mad that sukuna was bringing you home on such short notice? or- oh no- what if he thought you two were hooking up?!

you must’ve been blushing furiously, because sukuna asked you if you were hot. you lied, telling him you were as an excuse, and without second thought he turned the ac on full blast.

you sat in silence for the rest of the ride, comfortable silence. you were fiddling with your phone, anxiously waiting for a text from gojo or geto, but it never came, much to your satisfaction.

when you arrived, sukuna stepped out of the car. “stay in here for a moment, i just have to call my roommate.” you nodded, noticing the way he locked his car after departing to call toji. did he seriously trust you to not steal his car right now? not that you were going to, but wow, he held a lot of faith in you!

sukuna groaned as he texted toji, a stressed hand running down his face. no way this douche just asked if she was single. he grumbled to himself as he hit toji’s contact and called him.

“yo,” toji spoke, his speech muffled around whatever food he was chewing.

“don’t be weird,” sukuna immediately said, voice cold. “i’m bringing her up now.”

before toji could retort, sukuna hung up. he didn’t want you to think he was taking too long.

moving to the passenger side door, sukuna unlocked his car and took your hand gently, “you okay?” he asked, voice gruff, as if he wasn’t sure how to sound friendly.

“mhm.” you nodded, “thank you for letting me stay tonight,” you smiled sheepishly, taking his hand with an appreciative smile and stepping out.

sukuna had to look away to hide his creeping blush.

“my roommates name is toji.” he began a conversation as he lead you up the complex’s multitude of stairs. “he’s fucking stupid, just ignore him.”

you just giggled in response, nervous yet oddly excited to meet this toji.

when you reached his door, sukuna opened the door for you. you didn’t expect him to be such a gentleman, considering his appearance. maybe it was wrong to judge a book by its cover.

“hey,” a surprisingly deeper voice called out, though it held more emotion than sukunas did.

“hi,” you waved shyly when you caught a glimpse of his roommate. you remember him from your psychology class. sukuna was right, he does kinda look like frankie from shark tales. you stifled a giggle.

toji immediately cracked a smirk at your shy behavior. it felt somewhat predatory… you didn’t know if you should be scared or turned on.

sukunas arm snaked around your waist, pulling you in the moment toji’s eyes wandered over your figure. he shot toji a warning glare, as if to silently say, she’s off limits.

but toji didn’t play fair, sukuna knew that.

“you brought home a pretty lil thing,” toji spoke mischievously, clearly trying to egg sukuna on. you blushed furiously at the comment, unsure if you should say thank you or stay silent.

“i told you toji, it’s not like that.” sukuna sighed, his grip around your waist tightening.

“looks like it,” toji whistled, glancing between your waist and his hand.

you shook your head, stammering slightly as you spoke, “no, no. he’s just… helping me out, tonight. i won’t be here again, i’m sorry.”

sukuna was about to scold you for apologizing, telling you there’s no need to and he invited you, but toji beat him to it.

“don’t apologize. i’d like to see you here again, under different circumstances.” he shot you a wink that had your knees weak.

you didn’t want to question what those ‘different circumstances’ were, but you were sure he was flirting.

sukuna growled, again. that same noise that had you both terrified and aroused.

“don’t say that shit,” he groaned, hitting toji’s shoulder. sukuna took your hand, practically yanking you along with him.

“like i said, ignore him.” he spoke, you could practically hear the way he gritted his teeth. he looked… jealous.

you just nodded, still bright red as you hummed along. “mhm.”

“do you need to take a shower?” sukuna asked, leading you to the bathroom. you smiled appreciatively, “that would be nice.”

though, walking into the men’s shared bathroom, you realized it would in fact not be nice. six in one? was this even legal? this couldn’t be fda approved.

you desperately wished you had your strawberry tree hut body scrub, your precious shampoo and conditioner, and at least a bar of soap! you’d also like some exfoliator and moisturizer, but they weren’t needs.

you have sukuna a ‘really?’ look, and, for the first time that night, he actually laughed.

“okay, order whatever you need.” he said, tossing you his phone as if it belonged to you.

“huh?” you blinked, eyes wide as you stared at him incredulously.

“my cards linked, just get what you need.” he spoke casually, as if this was normal.

you were about to reject his offer, tell him you could pay, but toji (of course) came in to ruin the moment.

“oh doll? you still showering? can i join?” he spoke, his voice low and flirtatious as he didn’t wait for a response, simply waltzing in. you didn’t know what made you blush more, the nickname or his obvious intentions of wanting to fuck.

sukuna looked like he was going to kill a man. that man being toji.

“ohhh i see, you’re already showering with sukuna. i’m sure you can make room for three.”

you choked on a laugh. even if you were interested (which, maybe you were. a little). the thought of both of these men in the same dinky shower together was hilarious. no way would there be room with even just the two of them, nevermind you.

“what’s so funny, dollface?”

“toji.”

sukunas voice had an edge to it you only heard once. when you told him about gojo and getos plans to intercept them in the car.

toji looked a bit taken aback, a scowl on his face now, mirroring sukunas.

“you’re no fun.” toji said after sizing his roommate up, leaving the bathroom, not without slamming the door. how petty.

you bit your lower lip, glancing between sukuna and the door that was just slammed in their faces.

“sorry about him.” sukuna spoke up, sighing. “buy whatever you want. don’t worry about how much it is.”

you frowned, “i’m going to send you the money back either way. besides, i use a lot of products, so it’ll hurt your wallet if i didn’t pay you back.” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood after whatever the fuck just happened.

“i’d rather it hurt my wallet than yours. just get whatever you usually use, i don’t care.”

and with that, sukuna left the bathroom. now you were all alone in two strangers apartment, stuck in the bathroom with one of their phones.

you didn’t know how someone could be so nice yet so cold at the same time. it was like he was a walking contradiction. was he upset with toji?

you could tell him you didn’t care, because truthfully you didn’t. yea, it definitely flustered you a bit (a lot), but it’s not like it made you feel unsafe.

you looked for your typical items, soap, body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. sure, you’d love to have a body scrub, exfoliator, and moisturizer too, but you didn’t want to kill this poor guys wallet.

you opted for cheaper options, though still finding things with your signature strawberry scent.

you felt a bit guilty as you checked out for delivery. you should probably pay back sukuna some how- for giving you a ride, a place to stay for the night, and free shower products.

when you exited the bathroom to return sukunas phone, he was nowhere to be seen. neither was roommate, toji.

this was even more awkward than hiding in their bathroom, you thought.

was it rude to sit on their couch uninvited? you wondered, plopping yourself down regardless. you noticed netflix was still open, whoever was watching was halfway through the first season of squid games.

you fiddled with sukunas phone, impatiently waiting for either of the two boys to come back so you didn’t feel so awkward. though a notification from your phone made you jump, quickly settling down sukunas phone to check yours.

guys this photo is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i love it so much

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[cumikering]

Gym bro Soap x reader 2

3.4k | angst You were perfect for each other, couldn’t you see? (part 1)

Johnny didn’t want to admit he started wearing tighter shirts to the gym for you - the ones that underlined the width of his broad chest and stretched over the generous bulge of his biceps.

He, too, found excuses to respectfully lean into you from behind, be it to help you with the pulldown bar or with reracking your weights. He might have imagined you stealing a glance or two at his arms, but he prayed that he was the one making you chew on your lip.

Like then, when he stood a little closer as he held your gaze for more than a few moments. This was working, wasn’t it? Wait until he busted out his compression shirts.

“Are you free Saturday fer dinner? I want to take you to that Italian near the park.”

“Oh, but that’s so expensive!”

“We’ve been consistent with our workouts, and yer making wonderful progress.” He shot you a reassuring smile. “I think we deserve to celebrate.”

“You know we can go to other places, yeah? It doesn’t have to be fancy.”

“Aye, but I want to go there with you. Please, hen?”

You averted your pretty eyes before nodding. He’d never get tired of calling you hen. If he knew he had that effect on you, he’d have started far sooner with the nicknames.

As the butterflies stirred in his belly, he balled his fist as to not reach out to cup your face like he’d wanted to for too long.

Saturday couldn’t have come sooner, but that morning Johnny’s body weighed a ton as he dragged himself out of bed. However, when you smiled when he walked into the gym, he forgot the odd ache of his body for a moment. You both stretched and warmed up before proceeding with each other’s routine.

But when he could barely complete a set, he knew something was up. He reracked his weights with an irritated grunt.

“You alright, Johnny?” you asked, brows furrowed.

“Feelin’ a bit off today.” He reached back to massage his tense shoulder.

“You do look a bit pale actually. Are you going down with something? Are you burning up?”

“No, don’t think so.”

You placed a hand on his forehead, and he would be lying if his stomach didn’t flip from the contact. Could a blush induce a fever?

“You seem fine, but I think you better get back and rest. Don’t want to injure yourself.”

“But… we’re still on fer dinner, yeh?”

“Don’t worry about that! We can go when you feel better.”

He lit up. “Ye know what’s goin’ t’make me feel better? My maw’s stew.”

He could cook and impress you with his mum’s recipe. Your weekly shopping was in order anyway.

Johnny did light cardio as he waited for you to finish your workout. While you cleaned up before going to the supermarket, he made sure nothing embarrassing or incriminating was on the floor or surfaces of his flat.

When he knocked on your door 30 minutes later, you emerged in comfy clothes and damp hair. You looked like you’d give wonderful cuddles, just what he needed when he was under the weather.

“Johnny, I almost forgot. I got you this.” You handed him a papercraft kit. “It’s Edinburg castle. I thought of you when I saw it.”

He gasped, clutching the gift to his chest. You thought of him? “Thank you so much, hen. I love it.”

You gave him one of those smiles again in reply. Well, he definitely had a fever now.

As you strolled through the cereal aisle, Mrs. Mactavish called back.

“Ye alright, Johnny? Ah was just in the garden.”

“No bother, maw. Am feelin’ a bit ill. Wanted tae ask for yer stew recipe.” He picked up another box of cereal to read its nutrition label on the back.

“Ye mean… yer cookin’?”

“Aye.”

There was a pause. “How..?”

His brows furrowed, placing the box back on the shelf. “What d’ye mean how?”

“Johnny,” she said gently, concern in every word. “Don’t ye remember wha’ happened last time?”

You slapped a hand over your mouth to stifle your giggle.

“Maw! I will not leave it this time. Promise! Now, can I get the recipe?”

“Alrite, alrite, I’ll send a photo,” she relented. “But don’t say I didn’t warn ye!”

He grumbled a thanks before his mum hung up.

He turned to you with a grimace. “I promise am no tha’ bad.”

“Well, you know I’m not that good at it either,” you said with a chuckle. “I need to step up my cooking game.”

“Only one partner needs t’be good at it anyway.” He shrugged. “Been told I’m a fast learner.”

You blinked.

“I mean,” he sputtered, cheeks heating up. “Find someone who can cook, if you can’t, ye know.”

Was his game off when he was ill? He grabbed two boxes of his usual cereal and rounded the corner into the next aisle.

You finished up and got the ingredients needed. Back at his flat, you helped him greatly with the recipe (you caught him almost burning the meat, and once more, the onions). Didn’t higher heat mean faster cooking?! No matter what you said, you were still better than him, even that it was a pathetically low bar to begin with.

The incidents didn’t help his morale. Despite the comforting smell of home that wafted in the kitchen, he kept peering nervously into the simmering pot as both of you cleaned up. After the stew had thickened, you both grabbed a spoon for a sample. While you hummed in delight, Johnny’s shoulders sagged. It tasted nothing like his mum’s.

“Please don’t tell ma maw I messed it up,” he pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. “I promise the recipe isn’t shite,”

“Why would you say that?”

“It’s mediocre at best.”

“No, I think it’s really good! I like it,” you reassured. “I’ll make some garlic bread to go with it.”

A relieved smile teased his lips. You always knew how to make him feel better. “You’ll have to taste the real thing.”

“I’d love to.”

You really should have been extra careful with the things you said, because how could he not imagine taking you back home to meet his parents now?

Unfortunately, Johnny felt worse by the evening.  On the couch with a runny nose, he grumbled to himself about not being able to go out for dinner with you.

“It’s alright, Johnny. We’ll go next weekend, in time for your deployment too.” You placed the steaming mug of tea on the coffee table and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. “Do you want me to get takeout instead? Or I can cook something if you want.”

He should get sick more often.

“Actually, I’d like it if you could cook something, please. But only if ye want tae.”

Johnny wanted to help with dinner, but you insisted he worked on the papercraft at the dining table instead. He chuckled, feeling like a little boy being kept busy with his toys. He didn’t hate the feeling. It was wonderful to be pampered, being fussed over by you, only to be rewarded with some godly carbonara.

“Why’d ye say yer a bad cook?” he asked after his first bite.

You shrugged. “My family don’t usually like my cooking.”

“Missin’ out. They’re all missin’ out. I’ll eat this every day.” He shoved another forkful into his mouth.

He thanked his lucky stars he didn’t have to learn how to cook after all, lest be burnt the kitchen down. He could always compensate by doing the cleaning.

You took care of Johnny over the weekend, bringing him hearty meals to share. You even kept him company as he continued working on the papercraft. Having you at his doing your own thing, lounging around on his couch existing together… It was hard to not imagine that you lived there with him. Like you were a permanence of his life, just taking care of the sick love of your life.

He was, wasn’t he? Oh God, the fever was making him extra delusional.

You sent him little texts at work over the week. While he giggled and kicked his feet as he clutched his phone, he didn’t miss the way Gaz nudged Ghost at the other end of the rec room.

“He’s trying real hard to crawl out of the friendzone,” the sergeant quipped with a laugh.

Johnny gave him the stink eye, but he couldn’t blame Kyle. He was just jealous he had no pretty little thing making sure he was eating and drinking enough, let alone one who would wait for him at home with a warm meal.

You were doing just that, weren’t you? You cooked extra for so he could eat healthier and didn’t have to fuss about dinner. Thanks to your care, he recovered fast; he only had to skip another workout before getting back to his routine.

The following Saturday night, the anticipated dinner finally came. Johnny dressed up in a crisp button down and had gone to the barber the day before and even got his boots polished.

Did you understand how important this was to him? He wasn’t living another night without you knowing his intentions, especially after how selfless you’d been when taking care of him. He was going to make you feel like the only woman in the world.

But when you opened the door of your flat, he froze. You looked gorgeous in your outfit, it made his knees weak. He almost forgot the mission he was on because he needed to bury his face in a pillow and let out a squeal.

He cleared his throat, blinking as he struggled to keep his eyes off yours. “Wow, y- you look lovely, hen.” He didn’t mean to be disrespectful, but how could he not stare?

You didn’t meet his gaze, instead biting down a smile as you locked up.

He swallowed. It took everything to not pull you in for a kiss. He could already imagine how perfectly his hands would fit on your waist.

When he opened the door of his SUV for you, you mumbled a thanks. He wished you acknowledged his attire too, but the way he caught you glancing from the corner of his eye as he drove was enough of a compliment. You were very welcome to ogle. Would it help if he unbuttoned a few buttons?

Sat in a quiet corner, you admired the interior of the restaurant and how polite everyone was. He would never get tired of seeing that enthusiasm in your bright eyes as the conversation flowed.

“You been here before, Johnny?” you started after the waiter had left.

He shook his head as he raised his wine glass. “Was saving it for something special.”

“Which is?” You followed suit.

“You finally hit another lat pulldown PR,” he teased, clinking his glass against yours.

You laughed before taking a sip.

He was used to flirting to be liked and noticed, but with you, he didn’t need to. It was a blessing to be in your presence that his instinct was to admire you and be in the moment. You made him feel like he was enough without having to be anyone else. Was this the reason it was so effortless to be around you?

Unfortunately, the pasta you ordered didn’t turn out to be the best. You didn’t have to tell him - he’d grown familiar with the small tells of your face.

“I think we should order something else. This doesn’t look like enough food.”

“No, no! It’s plenty.”

“Want to have more of mine?” he pushed his plate of risotto closer to you.

“That’s fine, Johnny. It’s your favourite.”

“But you like it more.” He swapped your plate with his. “And we can always come back.”

You gave him a apologetic smile, your shoulders sagging. You didn’t have to feel so bad. The night was all about you anyway, and he was more than happy to ensure you enjoyed your time.

The both of you lingered after dessert. You never seemed uncomfortable with him, but that night the air around you was different, like you were even more open and loose. He could see in the way you leaned in more and held his gaze longer. He scooted his seat closer to the table, his stomach fluttering each time you laughed at his jokes.

Please, please, never stop. It was his favourite sound ever.

With his belly and heart full, you headed home. He wordlessly offered you his arm, but you didn’t seem to notice with the way you averted your gaze when he called you hen or bon. He didn’t mean to! They rolled off his tongue, because he meant every word.

At your door, he grasped your keys from your soft hand and helped you with it.

“Thanks so much for dinner, Johnny. I had such a good time.”

He couldn’t help return the grin. “Pleasure’s all mine, hen. I’m just happy you said yes.”

He didn’t like getting ahead of himself, but this was going fantastically well, wasn’t it? They way you looked at him with those eyes… Did you know what you were doing to him, how fast his heart raced for you?

John Mactavish was just a man.

Maybe he’d get to kiss you soon. Maybe even next week, before his deployment.

However, the optimism didn’t last very long. Because when he stepped in for a hug, you jumped and hurried past your door, closing it behind you with a frantic goodnight.

Johnny blinked. What the fuck just happened? You just said you enjoyed the night. Had he read it all wrong?

He turned on his heels as he blinked fast, hoping it was enough to keep the brimming tears at bay as his chest seized.

Radio silence replaced his joyful days with you.

Johnny tried not to think too much about you, or the fact that you didn’t even text in the following days. He didn’t either – how could he recover from that night? Even the day before he was to ship out, he didn’t allow himself to wonder why you didn’t reach out to arrange something with him like you always did.

But as he lay in bed, with a heavy heart that wouldn’t allow his mind to stop reeling, his phone buzzed with your text.

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. Take care

He squinted. Did this mean more than what it looked like? Were you brushing this under the rug? He stared and stared at his phone until his head hurt before sighing.

Thanks

It was impossible you didn’t notice the shift – you wouldn’t be this way otherwise, as if keeping him at an arm’s length. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it couldn’t be any more obvious now that you weren’t interested. He just wished it wouldn’t hurt this much, like getting shot in the stomach with a bullet that kept digging and digging.

He was gone for weeks at a time. Did his deployments get in the way of his progress with you, that you had to warm up to him all over again every time he came back? Did he miss his chance? Did the chemistry dwindle over the months? Did you, like most women, not want long-distance? Did you find someone else, someone who treated you better than him?

The longing gazes he could have sworn you shot him had all been in his head. It was clear now you weren’t taking things slow, let alone playing games.

You were simply uninterested.

When Johnny came back weeks later, out of courtesy, he picked up a new gym schedule as to not cross paths with you.

He didn’t text, and you didn’t either. His days with you were gone – the laughter, the quiet afternoons sketching, but the memories remained close to his heart. They pricked more often than not.

Distance was imperative to move on, but he still found it hard to breathe sometimes – his chest heavy with the ache to see your smile. The photos he had of you couldn’t hold a candle to how beautiful you were in real life.

He had no one but himself to blame. As soon as he knew he couldn’t have you, he should have backed away, protected himself, especially when his feelings wouldn’t fizzle after the months. Instead, he was too soft to walk away, settling for any shred of you.

You were perfect for each other, couldn’t you see? You motivated each other, pushing each other to be better. I think I’m in love you, he’d muse to himself as he looked at you. Sometimes the need to say it out loud made him want to cry, like he was choking on the words.

He could have said them outright - maybe he should have, he was a grown man, for fuck’s sake! But he never did, because deep down he knew you’d run. So he carried on, with his feelings buried deep, avoided like a tin of radioactive waste welded shut.

It was undeniable having you out of his life was torture, but it will pass. Eventually. Hopefully. Still, for all the joy you’d brought him, there was not a regretful bone in his body.

What he didn’t expect, though, was how soon this would end.

You, on the other hand, never imagined even a fraction of the depth of Johnny’s feelings towards you.

The radiant Scot didn’t seem like one to be sentimental. He was happy go lucky and… friendly. Attractive men always were, especially when they had such an easy, charming smile. You didn’t want to flatter yourself - and shouldn’t - by thinking this was anything more than platonic. You weren’t his type, and you were smart enough to not fall for someone you could never have.

He was a good man, but not good for your if you caught feelings, so you tried not to. Keyword tried.

It was impossible when he was right there. He was irresistible with that boyish smile you couldn’t help but return. He kept your spirits up with his boisterous laugh and funny stories, and those sky blue eyes… ever grounding on your worst days. Whenever you had an issue, he was the first to offer help. He made the effort to be there for you in any way he could, even when he was away.

It was a slippery slope, and you were losing the battle fast. Before you knew it, his text was the first thing you looked for when you woke, and he was the last thing on your mind before drifting to sleep.

It was the way he called you hen, wasn’t it? There was something in his powerful yet gentle voice, like he meant it just for you as he looked into your eyes.

You played with fire. You chose to be around him knowing you couldn’t have him, and it was your fault you got burnt at the end.

You couldn’t be happier when he invited you out to such a nice place. It meant the world to you that he’d dressed up and was so accommodating about you not liking the dish you ordered. You could almost pretend it was real – that you mattered - even when it didn’t mean a thing to him.

With a smile and a sunny personality like that, he could have anyone, and you were nothing more than his neighbour and gym buddy.

Still, you didn’t mean to dodge his embrace that night, because of course, you’d wanted it. You wanted his gorgeous eyes to bore into yours before kissing you, just like in your daydreams. But in the midst of telling yourself to be realistic and get over your own feelings, him stepping in caught you off guard.

Why did you have to make it weird, you screamed at yourself. It was a friendly embrace; it wouldn’t have worsened your feelings anyway. You wanted to crawl into a hole. You’d ruined your friendship, without so much as the relief of a confession.

But you’d be fine. You’d get over it eventually, like you always did. You just had to put your big girl pants on.

When the wound had healed, maybe you could be friends once more without having to worry about getting your heart broken.

Masterlist Possessive best friend Soap

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[planet-hwa]

୨୧  the remedy to resistance teaser – 우영

   ↳   chapter one ; immunity to my charms

  ୨୧  summary     without regret — the last thought before falling asleep next to wooyoung after finally giving into temptations, so why did you feel so strange the next morning? it wasn’t regret but an unknown emotion; unexplainable and underlying with anxious thoughts and over thought questions… maybe you should’ve stayed in your content state of immunity and denial, then you wouldn’t be fighting yourself to avoid him.

pairing     fratboy!wooyoung x reader genre     angsty best friends to lovers… and of course with smut *kiss kiss* word count     1k

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the look of love, the rush of blood now playing   no. 1 party anthem ; arctic monkeys ⇄  ◁  II  ▷  ↺

⋮≡  in queue     ◦  blue ; pools     ◦  i wanna be yours ; arctic monkeys     ◦  mistakes like this ; prelow     ◦  the beach ; the neighbourhood     ◦  you get me so high ; the neighbourhood

You never thought this would happen, always remaining unfazed to the flirtatious charms of Jung Wooyoung — well, that’s what you told yourself. And yet, here you were, cuddled up under the duvet of his bed. 

The sunlight glimmered through the cracks of the curtains, setting the room with an orange tinge. You swivelled your head and peaked over your shoulder at the digital clock on his night stand: 8:59 which quickly flicked to 9:00. Considering the exciting night you had last, you expected yourself to be waking up closer to noon.

The sheets shuffled next to you, turning your head to watch as Wooyoung had flipped to his side and was now facing you, still in a deep slumber softly snoring. His hair fell across his face and his expression was tranquil. You observed as his facial muscles slightly twitched every few minutes, similar to how a cat does when they’re dreaming. A soft smile grew on your face as you thought about the events of last night, not the party but what happened once the two of you left.

You finally gave in to your temptations for Wooyoung, after always being so adamant that you would never hook up with your best friend, or even admit that you had feelings for him to him. But when he reciprocated those feelings? It was like fireworks burst in your heart, every ounce of love you had for him — platonic and romantic — exploded and shot through your entire body. No man had ever made you feel like that, no matter how much you were interested in them.

The peaceful state of mind was ruined as sudden thoughts of anxiety began flooding your brain, conversations that were blurred by the hangover and unknown to you if they were real or not. 

“Is that why you looked so mad just now? Because I was hooking up with her?” Wooyoung scoffed, pushing his hair back with his hand just for the front strands to fall back to covering his face. The emphasis on the last word proved he already knew the answer. He knew how you felt about her and how she felt about you. He knew that you usually didn’t care about his hookups, but because it was with her; you cared. He knew that you being upset wasn’t just because of her.

“Why would you even go for her when you could get any girl you want?”

“Because the girl I want doesn’t seem to want me back.” He slowly drifted towards you, settling himself in between your knees and resting his hands on your thighs. “Don’t you?”

Did this actually happen, was I dreaming it?

“You know,” He purred, petaling kisses from your chest and down to your belly, falling lower and lower until he sat between your legs. “I’ve always dreamt about this; how you’d look… how you’d feel… how you’d taste.”

Did he actually say that, or was I blinded by orgasmic bliss?

A nausea swelled in the pit of your stomach, fueled by anxiety and the lingering effects of alcohol in your system. You needed to get out of there, right now, before you mentally broke down. Quickly gathering your clothes and throwing them on, but still wearing the shirt Wooyoung gave you to sleep in, you silently left his room and tip-toed down the stairs. You glanced around the lounge room, the floor completely covered in confetti and red plastic cups, sticky drinks staining the walls. Mingi was knocked out on the coach, a beer still drooping in the grip of his limp hand. The house was quiet, more quiet than you’d ever experienced it. A complete change in setting from the previous night.

“Oh! Hey Y/N,” You turned to see a very sleepy looking San standing in the hallway, a bowl of cereal in his hands. “I didn’t know you stayed the night. Did you sleep with Wooyoung?”

A sudden heat blushed over your cheeks at the question, thoughts of the possibility that they heard you — even knowing it would be impossible over how loud the music was — had begun running through your mind. “Did I do what with Wooyoung?”

“Oh no! I mean, did you sleep in his room with him?” Quickly corrected himself before letting out a low chuckle. “I know you would never sleep with him in that way.”

“Oh… yeah, right.” The awkwardness that came over you was embarrassing, but San was too invested in his breakfast to notice. “Yeah, I think I passed out on his bed.”

“Damn, poor guy had to listen to you snore.”

“Hey, I don’t snore!” You retorted, giving him a light smack to the shoulder. His eyes turned to crescent moons as he laughed at your defensiveness, almost choking on the milk of his cereal.

“You definitely do.”

“Whatever you say,” You rolled your eyes at his comments, as annoying as they were, they were a nice distraction from the thoughts on a possible ruined friendship.

But those thoughts quickly returned the moment you sat alone in the uber, no music to distract you and the driver was too focused on a phone call to attempt to start a conversation with. Your brain crashed around your skull like a tidal wave, filled with so many emotions that threatened to spill through your eyes. But you were not about to be the drunk person who cries in the back of an uber. It wasn’t until you got back to your dorm, crashing onto your bed with a huff that you let all your emotions out. The scent of Wooyoung clung to your his shirt. bringing back all the memories of the party, your eyes were welling up with tears as each played in your mind.

Why did you do that? Why did you hook up with your best friend?

Tears rolled down your cheeks at the thought of losing him, your brain convincing itself that it had already happened. You couldn’t live with yourself if you ruined your relationship over something like this, over your own lustful thoughts that you brought to life. Curling up into the blankets, wet tears stained your pillow as sleep quickly claimed you. 

author's note a little snip it of chapter two of immunity to my charms [that was written quite quickly and hasn't been reread yet so it might change once i finish the whole thing]

the full story will be posted within the next week... probably

current taglist @morethingsfandom @dreamsoffanfics @butterflydemons @youmeandwords @hwascutewife @e3ellie @hoe4kpop @moonlight-hwa @dawn-iscozy @chososho3 @dejatiny @betda @woozit

if you would like to be added or removed from the taglist, please let me know !!

[phoenixblaze1412]

Haiii !! can i request for Webttore (akadeymia days) with big chested reader? like she's kind of the popular smart bimbo girl and he's the loser she somehow gave a chance to lol, pls make her taller than him oh my DAYS i would devour that up.

Of course anon!

Webttore will be referred to as Zandik in this fic!

Zandik, an Akademiya outcast known for his unsettling intelligence, sharp tongue, and unapproachable demeanor, sat alone in the corner of the bustling library. His pristine lab coat was slightly wrinkled, his reading glasses perched low on his nose as he buried himself in his notes. He preferred solitude, finding most people to be a distraction at best and an irritation at worst.

Except for you.

You were unlike anyone else he’d ever met. Tall, confident, and dazzling in every way, you seem to glide through life effortlessly. Your presence commanded attention, and your laughter turned heads. You were smart, though you hid it behind an air of playful nonchalance, and an outrageously attractive figure with curves that left more than one student blushing.

And yet, for reasons beyond his comprehension, you had taken an interest in him.

“Zandik,” your voice, melodic and teasing, broke through his thoughts.

He stiffened but didn’t look up. “What do you want, (Y/N)?”

“I’m bored,” you declared, plopping yourself into the chair across from him. Your long legs crossed gracefully as you leaned forward, resting your chin on your hand. The movement caused your neckline to dip ever so slightly, and Zandik found himself pushing his glasses up his nose to avoid staring.

“Then find someone else to entertain you,” he retorted, his tone sharp but his cheeks faintly pink.

“Oh, come on,” you pouted. “You’re no fun.”

He finally glanced up, his crimson eyes meeting yours. “If by ‘fun,’ you mean frivolous nonsense, then no, I am not.”

Instead of being offended, you grinned. “I think you secretly like having me around. Admit it, Zandik.”

His scowl deepened, but his heart betrayed him, thudding painfully in his chest. You were infuriating, yes, but he couldn’t deny the strange pull he felt towards you. You were everything he wasn’t: bright, social, effortlessly charming, and yet you treated him as though he was your equal.

“Don’t you have anyone else to torment?” he muttered, returning his gaze to his notes.

“Nope,” you replied cheerfully, standing up and sauntering around the table to stand behind him. You leaned down, your chin resting lightly on his shoulder as you peered at his work. “You’re the only one who can handle me.”

Zandik froze, the warmth of your breath on his neck sending a shiver down his spine. He hated how easily you could fluster him, how your proximity made his thoughts scatter.

“Must you invade my personal space?” he asked, his voice strained.

You ignored him, your eyes scanning his scribbles. “You’re so smart, you know that? It’s kind of hot.”

His pen slipped, leaving a jagged line across the page. “What?”

You straightened yourself up, laughing at his reaction. “You heard me.”

“You’re insufferable,” he muttered, though his ears burned bright red.

“And you’re cute when you’re flustered,” you shot back, leaning down again, this time to press a kiss to his cheek.

Zandik stiffened, his heart pounding as if it might burst from his chest. He turned to glare at you but the playful glint in your eyes made it impossible to hold onto his annoyance.

“You’re unbelievable,” he said, his voice quieter now.

You smiled, softer this time. “And yet, you haven’t told me to leave.”

He didn’t have an answer for that.

---

The next time you cornered him, it was after hours in one of the empty study rooms. He was already packing up his things when you appeared, blocking the doorway with your tall frame and that mischievous smile he was starting to hate for how much he loved it.

“Do you ever give up?” he asked, exasperated.

“Nope,” you said, stepping closer. “And don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

Zandik sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What do you want now?”

“Just you,” you said simply, and the sincerity in your voice made him pause.

He looked up, his sharp gaze softening slightly. “You’re relentless.”

“And you’re adorable when you’re pretending not to care,” you countered, closing the distance between the two of you.

Before he could respond, you cupped his face in your hands and kissed him.

It was bold, confident even, just like you, and for a moment he froze, unsure of what to do. But then your warmth melted his resistance, and he kissed you back, tentatively at first, then with growing fervor.

Your hands slid down to his shoulders, pulling him closer as his own hands found your waist. You were taller, but he didn’t mind craning his neck up to meet you. Your lips were soft, your touch intoxicating, and he felt himself getting lost into you.

When you two finally broke apart, both breathless from the kiss, you grinned down at him.

“See? I knew you liked me,” you teased, brushing a strand of hair from his face.

Zandik scowled, though the redness in his cheeks betrayed him. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re mine,” you said, pressing another kiss to his lips.

This time, he didn’t argue.

As your relationship grew, so did your affection towards each other. Despite his prickly nature, Zandik found himself opening up to you in ways he never thought possible. And though you loved teasing him, you never failed to remind him how much you cared, your actions speaking louder than words.

In you, he found someone who accepted him for who he was, quirks and all. And in him, you found someone who saw beyond your bubbly exterior, appreciating your intelligence and heart.

Some relationship headcanons:

- Zandik constantly acts like he’s annoyed by your attention.

“Do you have to touch my hair every time you see me? It’s distracting!”

“But it’s so cute when it’s messy!”

His blush betrays him every time.

- You love teasing him about how much taller you are, often patting his head or using his shoulder as an armrest.

“Need me to grab that book for you, shorty?”

“I am not short!” (He totally is compared to you, and it drives him crazy when you giggle about it.)

- Even with his grumpy exterior, Zandik goes out of his way to do sweet things for you. Whether it’s helping you study or fixing your broken jewelry, he always grumbles about it but takes pride in making you happy.

- He’s not great at handling his feelings, especially when other students try to flirt with you.

“Why do you waste your time with those idiots?”

“Aw, Zandy, are you jealous?”

“Of course not. They’re just... beneath you.”

- Zandik has a surprisingly protective side. If anyone dares to insult or harass you, he’s quick to shut them down with his sharp wit.

“I’d advise you to keep your comments to yourself unless you want to be humiliated in front of everyone here.”

- Your outgoing, carefree nature balances his introverted, serious demeanor. He admires your confidence, while you love how he sees the world in a completely unique way.

- Despite his protests, Zandik loves cuddling with you. You’re warm, soft, and taller—making him feel safe and cared for, even if he’d rather die than admit it. He does love it when you spoon him. He wouldn't say it out loud but he always loves it when you let him lay on your chest whenever he's too stressed out or tired.

[rylem33]

Free Festival

Ashley trailed behind Rick, her older brother, through the front hallway of their house. His voice was casual but carried a hint of excitement.

“Come on, Ash. It’ll be fun,” Rick said, tossing his car keys into the air and catching them with a grin.

Ashley adjusted her glasses and frowned. “Define fun. Sweaty crowds, loud music, and overpriced drinks? Sounds amazing.”

Rick smirked. “You might surprise yourself. Besides, I got the tickets for free and dad said we both had to go. He thinks you need to ‘get out more.’”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Great. Another social experiment for Dad’s amusement.” She shifted the book in her arms, hugging it tighter. “I just… don’t get why you like these things so much. It’s not my style.”

Rick leaned against the doorframe, his grin softening into something kinder. “Look, just give it a chance, okay? You might have fun if you let yourself. Worst case, you’ll just have to put up with me for a few hours.”

Ashley gave him a skeptical look but sighed. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The festival grounds were chaos. Neon lights blinked and strobed, flashing over crowds of people dressed in glitter, mesh, and barely-there outfits. Bass-heavy music thudded through the air, shaking the ground beneath Ashley’s feet.

She clutched her sweatshirt tightly, already feeling out of place in her sneakers and casual jeans. Around her, people were dancing wildly, laughing, and shouting to be heard over the music. She ducked as someone waved a glow stick a little too close to her head.

Rick, on the other hand, was in his element. His grin stretched from ear to ear as he turned to her. “Isn’t this great?”

“Not really,” Ashley muttered, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

Rick rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, but you’ve got to try. Just… loosen up a little. Here, let’s get a drink. That’ll help.”

Ashley didn’t respond. Her gaze darted around the crowd, her unease growing by the second. The noise, the lights, the crush of bodies—it was all too much.

“I’ll be right back,” she said abruptly, already turning away.

Rick called after her. “Ashley, come on! Don’t be like that!”

But she was already weaving through the crowd, searching for the bathroom—or anywhere quieter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley was halfway to the bathroom when she felt someone bump into her, a sharp elbow jabbing her arm.

“Hey!” Ashley said, turning in surprise.

The woman she’d run into didn’t look remotely apologetic. She had long, platinum blonde hair that gleamed in the neon lights, perfectly straight and framing her tanned face. Her glossy lips were curled into a smug smile, and her makeup was sharp and dramatic, with lashes so long they almost seemed fake.

She was dressed in a daring outfit that left little to the imagination. Her crop top barely covering her chest, and her black mini-skirt clinging to her hips. White knee-high boots completed the look, their towering heels making her seem even more intimidating.

Ashley immediately felt out of place in her casual clothes, but the woman’s piercing gaze made it worse.

The blonde scoffed, her painted nails brushing a lock of hair over her shoulder. “What are you even doing here, babe?” she said, her tone dripping with condescension. “You look like you got lost on the way to the library.”

Ashley bristled. “Excuse me?”

Instead of replying, the woman reached into a small pouch hanging from her wrist and pulled out a handful of glitter. With a flick of her wrist, she threw it right at Ashley’s face.

Ashley coughed, sputtering as the glitter rained down on her hair and shoulders. “Hey! What the hell is wrong with you?”

The woman smirked, tilting her head. “Relax, nerd. You needed a makeover anyway.”

Ashley furiously brushed at the glitter, but it clung stubbornly to her sweatshirt and hair. “You can’t just throw glitter on people!”

The woman gave a dramatic shrug, her smile widening. “Consider it a favor. You were practically invisible before.” She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “Now? At least someone might notice you.”

Without waiting for a reply, she turned on her heel, her long hair swishing behind her as she strutted off, her boots clicking against the pavement.

Ashley stood there, her face burning with embarrassment and frustration. She tugged at her sweatshirt, brushing at the glitter still clinging to her clothes. “Unbelievable,” she muttered, stomping off toward the bathroom.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Inside the cramped bathroom stall, Ashley glared at her reflection in the scratched mirror. Glitter clung to her cheeks, her hair, and even the frames of her glasses.

“This is ridiculous,” she muttered, brushing at the stubborn flecks. But as she leaned closer to the mirror, she froze.

Her reflection was… changing.

Her messy bun unraveled on its own, the strands lengthening and darkening as they spilled over her shoulders in sleek, glossy waves. Her lips, usually pale and chapped, softened and plumped, taking on a natural, glossy sheen.

“What the…?” she whispered, reaching up to adjust her glasses. But they slid down her nose and fell into her hands. Her fingers stopped midair.

They weren’t her hands.

Her nails were longer now, perfectly shaped and painted a shimmering pale pink. Her hands looked more delicate, her fingers longer, like they belonged to someone who had never held a textbook or chewed nervously at her nails.

Her breath caught as she looked down at her sweatshirt. The thick cotton fabric was rippling, shifting, almost melting under her fingers. It shimmered faintly, then began to dissolve, replaced by a soft, sheer material that clung to her arms and torso.

“No… no, no, no!” she gasped, grabbing at the morphing fabric. She tried to tug it back into its familiar shape, but it was already transforming, becoming transparent and glittery. Beneath the changing fabric, her body was shifting too.

Her chest tightened, then swelled, her breasts expanding fuller and higher. She stumbled back as a faint pressure built in her hips, a deep, popping sensation echoing through her pelvis. “Ow!” she yelped, gripping the sides of the stall as her hips widened and rounded, the bones seeming to shift under her skin.

Her jeans were next. She stared in horror as the denim frayed and unraveled, leaving her legs bare. Her skin smoothed and glowed with a soft sun-kissed hue as glittering sheer shorts materialized where her jeans had been.

Ashley clutched the sides of the stall, her breathing ragged. Her legs lengthened, her thighs rounding and her calves gaining a subtle, sculpted tone. Her feet arched painfully, her toes curling as though forced into invisible heels. A delicate pair of sandals formed on her feet, the straps glinting with tiny stones.

The changes weren’t just surface-level. She could feel her body altering, her bones and muscles shifting into something unfamiliar. Her shoulders pulled back, her spine straightening until her posture exuded a confidence she didn’t feel. Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

Her tank top, now a barely-there sheer fabric, clung to her torso, revealing every new curve. The neckline dipped lower than she ever would have dared to wear, showcasing her now-exposed breasts. A green scarf fluttered into place around her neck.

Ashley’s trembling hand rose to her face, her fingers brushing against the sharp angles of her cheekbones and the fullness of her lips. Her lashes, now long and thick, framed shimmering eyes that stared back at her in wide-eyed panic.

“No… this isn’t real,” she whispered, her voice softer, higher, almost unrecognizable.

Her gaze darted to the mirror again, and she barely recognized the girl staring back at her. 

Her breathing grew shallow as her heart pounded. Her body felt alien, unfamiliar, like it wasn’t hers anymore. The press of the sheer fabric against her skin, the sway of her fuller hips, even the way her feet felt perched on the invisible heels. It was too much.

She stumbled back against the door, her knees weak.

“I—I can’t… I need to get out of here,” she stammered, shoving the door open.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley pushed the bathroom door open, stepping back into the chaos of the festival. The music hit her like a wave, vibrating through her chest and making her pause. She glanced down at her outfit, if you could even call it that, and tugged at the transparent fabric clinging to her body.

It didn’t help.

The sheer top hugged her figure, leaving little to the imagination, and the glittering shorts barely covered her thighs. Her hands kept fidgeting with the scarf draped over her shoulders, trying to pull it across her chest.

Her cheeks flushed as she kept her head down, weaving aimlessly through the crowd. She could feel the bass thudding, reverberating through her body. 

As she walked, her body seemed to shift with the beat. Her shoulders rolled back, her spine straightened, and her hips swayed in time with the music. 

The bass thumped harder, and Ashley realized she didn’t hate it. The harsh, pounding beat that had grated on her earlier now seemed… hypnotic. It pulsed in her veins, syncing with her heartbeat, drawing her forward.

She looked up for the first time since leaving the bathroom and caught a glimpse of a group of guys watching her. She froze for a second, her instinct telling her to turn away. But their stares didn’t feel hostile or mocking. They were… interested.

Her stomach fluttered.

Ashley blinked, taking a hesitant step forward. Her movements felt looser, her body responding to the music in a way she didn’t fully understand. She glanced down at herself again. The fabric sparkled under the flashing lights, her legs catching the glow as the glitter on her skin shimmered with every step.

When she glanced back at the group, one of them gave her a crooked smile.

And this time, she smiled back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She wandered deeper into the festival where the crowd was thicker.  The music pulled at her mind and her feet found the rhythm almost on their own. Ashley’s hips started to sway, slow at first, barely noticeable, but the movement felt natural, effortless. She let her arms lift, her fingers tracing lazy patterns in the air as the beat guided her.

She didn’t realize people were watching her until she caught a glimpse of someone pointing her out to a friend, their smiles wide and approving. Her initial instinct was to shrink back, but the music drowned out the nervousness in her chest.

Instead, she leaned into it.

Her hips rolled with the beat as she took a step forward, her hair swaying around her shoulders. The glitter on her skin caught the lights, and she caught the eyes of another onlooker—a girl this time, her grin wide and encouraging as she danced nearby. Ashley gave a small laugh, the sound surprising even her, and kept moving.

The crowd around her seemed to shift, making space as she danced. She tossed her head back, her hair spilling behind her as her movements grew. 

The music took over, and she let it.

She found herself on the edge of a massive dance pit, surrounded by a sea of bodies moving as one.

The energy was magnetic, pulling her in before she could even think about stopping.

She stepped into the crowd, the beat coursing through her as she moved. Her arms swayed above her head, her body moved in time with the music as she became part of the pulse of the crowd.

Her hands seductively brushed over her hips as she spun in place. She could feel the eyes on her again, but this time, she welcomed them. She felt sexy.  She felt like she belonged.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rick pushed his way through the crowd, craning his neck to look over the sea of people. The music thumped in his chest, and the swirling lights made it harder to focus. Ashley had been gone way too long, and his concern was starting to outweigh his irritation.

“Come on, Ash,” he muttered under his breath, scanning the festival grounds. “Where the hell are you?”

He had checked the food trucks, the bathrooms, even the quieter corners of the festival where she might’ve been hiding with her book. But she was nowhere to be found.

Rick sighed and turned toward the massive dance pit, reluctantly heading into the thick of the crowd. If she wasn’t hiding, maybe she had wandered closer to the stage—or worse, gotten lost.

As he moved deeper into the throng of dancers, his eyes caught on someone.

The girl was breathtaking.

Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, gleaming under the flashing lights, and her sheer outfit sparkled with every step. The fabric clung to her curves, leaving little to the imagination, as she moved to the music.  

Rick stopped in his tracks, watching as the girl threw her head back, laughing as she twirled into the arms of a guy nearby. The guy’s hands hovered at her waist, hesitant, and she teased him with a grin before spinning away. She found her way into a group of girls next, linking arms with one of them and swaying in unison.

The crowd seemed to revolve around her, drawn to her energy.

“Damn,” Rick muttered, shaking his head. He didn’t even realize he’d stopped looking for Ashley.

The girl spun again, her hips rolling as she moved closer to the center of the pit. She laughed, brushing her hair back with one hand as another guy stepped in to dance with her. She let him, for a moment, before pulling away with a playful glance.

The girl’s eyes suddenly locked on his, her grin widening. She tilted her head, her hips swaying as she took a slow, deliberate step toward him.

Rick’s breath hitched. “Uh…”

“Rick!” she called, her voice carrying over the music, light and teasing.

Rick’s heart stopped. “What?”

She closed the distance between them with a few quick steps, stopping just a breath away. Her smile was radiant, her eyes shimmering with amusement.

“Don’t you recognize me, big brother?” she said, her voice dripping with playful condescension.

Rick’s jaw dropped. “Ashley?!”

Rick’s stared at her, his mind scrambling to make sense of what he was seeing.

“Ashley?!” he said again, louder this time, his voice tinged with disbelief.

She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she leaned in, her green scarf brushing against his arm. “Yes, Rick. Stop shouting, everyone’s staring.”

“Everyone’s staring because you’re…” He waved a hand at her, struggling for words. “What the hell happened to you?!”

Ashley smirked, rolling her eyes playfully. “Gee, thanks. Nice to see you too.” She reached out, giving his arm a light squeeze. “Relax, big bro. I’m fine. Actually, I’m better than fine.”

Rick blinked, his eyes scanning her from head to toe. Her hair, her skin, her clothes. It was all so… not Ashley. Just a couple of hours ago, she was sulking in her sweatshirt and sneakers, and now she looked like the star of a music video.

“You look…” He paused, shaking his head. “I don’t even know what to say. What happened while you were gone? Did someone… do something to you?” His voice dipped into concern as he glanced around, his protective instincts kicking in.

Ashley laughed again, the sound light and unbothered. She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head. “No one did anything to me, Rick. I just…” She paused, her grin softening into something genuine. “I don’t know. I guess I finally decided to have some fun.”

Rick stared at her, still skeptical. “But…your hair, your clothes…”

“Okay, yeah, it’s a little different,” she admitted, shrugging as she twirled in place, her sheer outfit catching the light. “But come on, don’t I look great?”

Rick opened his mouth, then closed it again, clearly at a loss.

“Don’t overthink it,” Ashley teased, grabbing his hand. “Come on! Dance with me!”

“Dance?” Rick said, blinking. “Are you serious right now?”

“Dead serious,” she replied, pulling him toward the edge of the pit. “You dragged me here, remember? You said I needed to loosen up, and guess what? I did. Now it’s your turn.”

Rick hesitated, glancing around at the crowd. “I don’t know, Ash…”

Ashley rolled her eyes, tugging him harder. “Oh, stop being such a dad. You’re the one who told me to have fun! Now you’re acting all stiff.” She grinned, stepping closer and poking his chest. “What are you afraid of? That I’m having more fun than you?”

Rick snorted despite himself. “Okay, that’s not happening.”

“Prove it!” she challenged, spinning away from him and twirling back into the center of the dance pit. She beckoned him with a crooked finger, her grin mischievous.

Rick sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Fine,” he muttered, stepping into the pit after her.

Within minutes, they were both laughing and moving to the beat, Rick’s earlier confusion melting away. Ashley twirled around him, her energy contagious as she pulled him further into the rhythm of the music.

“See? This isn’t so bad!” she shouted over the bass, her grin wide.

Rick shook his head, still grinning. “I can’t believe this. You’re like a whole new person.”

Ashley leaned in, her eyes sparkling. “Maybe..but I like it.”

Rick raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue. He couldn’t deny that she looked happy. Happier than he’d seen her in a long time.

They danced together, laughing and joking as the crowd around them swayed to the music. Ashley was effortlessly the center of attention, drawing glances and smiles from everyone nearby, but she didn’t seem to care.

As the song faded and another began, Rick leaned closer, still catching his breath. “So… how exactly are we going to explain this to Dad?”

Ashley threw her head back and laughed, the sound ringing out above the music. “Oh, we’re not explaining anything.”

Rick chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, he’s gonna lose it.”

“Let him,” Ashley replied with a smirk, brushing glitter off her arm. “He wanted me to loosen up, didn’t he?”

Rick grinned. “Well, mission accomplished.”

They both burst out laughing, their voices blending into the festival noise as the music thumped around them. 

[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 7

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki  @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours 

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Here is another chapter cause I'm still writing out the other fics right now :)

Previous

Chapter 7: Breaking Point

Y/N’s POV

It’s been, what, two weeks since I last saw Sukuna? Since he left my apartment I finally put my foot down. It feels surreal. Like he was here one moment, his presence filling every part of my life, and then, just like that, he’s gone. I can actually focus in class again, and my thoughts are less cluttered without his constant ups and downs. For the first time in a long time, I’m getting assignments done on time, and keeping up with my workload. But underneath it all, there’s this ache, a hollow space where he used to be.

I try to ignore it, but it’s always there, tugging at me, making it hard to concentrate completely. It’s the little things—his laugh echoing in my mind, the feel of his arms around me, his stupid smirk whenever he got under my skin. I find myself wondering if he’s okay. Did he come out of the hospital yet? Did he manage to finally piece himself together?

A part of me wants to reach out, just to check in. Maybe see if he’s doing better, if he’s still leaning on his friends, getting through each day somehow. But that’s not my place anymore, is it? I gave him so many chances to let me in, to let me help, and every single time, he shut me out. He made it clear he wanted to handle things his way. And I… I need to start respecting that boundary, as much as it hurts.

I take a deep breath, glancing out the window of the studio. The city is buzzing outside, people going on with their lives, completely unaware of the turmoil inside me. I sip my coffee, watching the people walk by, their laughter faintly audible through the glass.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes, pulling me from my thoughts. It’s a message from Utahime.

Utahime: You doing okay? Need anything?

I smile, appreciating her concern. She’s been there since everything happened, her presence a constant comfort, even when I didn’t realize I needed it.

Me: Yeah, I’m fine. Just… thinking too much, as usual.

Utahime: Well, stop that! We’re going out tonight. A distraction is exactly what you need.

I hesitate, looking down at my phone, my thumb hovering over the keyboard. I know she’s right. A distraction might help me let go of these lingering thoughts, these small pieces of Sukuna that I can’t seem to shake.

Me: Fine. Where and when?

Utahime: I’ll pick you up at 8. Be ready!

A part of me feels relieved at the thought of getting out, of being around people who remind me of who I am outside of Sukuna, outside of this relationship that became such a heavy part of my life.

as the car moves through the city streets, I press my head against the cool window, letting the world blur past me. The bass-heavy beat of W.D.Y.W.F.M. pulses through my headphones, each lyric tugging at parts of me I’ve been trying to bury.

Maybe you’re right, maybe this is all that I can be, the words echo, hitting a little too close to home. I close my eyes, feeling the weight of those lyrics settle in my chest. The memories start seeping in—the countless times I let myself believe that if I loved Sukuna enough, if I was patient enough, he’d eventually find it within himself to let me in. That if I just waited, things would finally feel right. But now I wonder… maybe it wasn’t just him. Maybe I should have known better than to believe that love could fix someone so broken.

But what if it’s you, and it wasn’t me?

The question pierces through my thoughts, stirring a bitterness I didn’t know I still had. He wanted to drown in his own pain, to shut me out every time I tried to pull him up for air. I couldn’t have been the answer, and yet here I am, with pieces of him still lingering, haunting me at every turn.

The Uber driver takes a corner, the familiar streets near my apartment coming into view. I force my gaze away from the window, back to my phone screen, trying to focus on anything but him. It shouldn’t hurt this much, but it does—knowing that for all the love I poured into him, it wasn’t enough to keep him from self-destructing.

The song fades as I arrive at my building. I thank the driver, taking a deep breath as I step out, feeling the city air wrap around me. The streetlights cast a dim glow on the sidewalk, and I let myself pause for a moment before going inside. I need to let him go, I tell myself firmly, as I push open the door and head up the stairs to my apartment. I have to learn to let go of the weight of him, of the what ifs and the could’ve been that keep me tangled in his memory.

I climb the stairs, my heart pounding faster with each step as I spot the car parked out front. The familiar shape, that old, dark-colored sedan that Sukuna drove everywhere... no, no, no, I think, my pulse racing. I’m not ready to see him. My body tenses with dread, the past few weeks crashing down on me in waves.

But as I get closer, I realize it isn’t him. The figure slouched in the driver's seat isn’t Sukuna—it’s Yuuji, his face drawn and pale under the streetlight glow. Relief floods me, only to be replaced by confusion and worry. I stride up to him, feeling the weight of all the things I know about Sukuna’s recent spiral pressing on me, unsettling and heavy.

"Yuuji," I say, my voice sharp, "why are you here?"

He startles, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes. I catch the shadow of sleepless nights, maybe even nights spent worrying about Sukuna. He tries to brush off the tension, but I can see right through him. He's younger, not yet old enough to be driving around on his own at this hour. That alone makes my stomach twist.

"I just… I didn’t know who else to talk to," he mutters, glancing away. The hurt and worry in his voice rip into me.

My gut clenches as I realize just how much of Sukuna’s pain has been spilling onto his family. The weight he’s putting on Yuuji, on Choso… it’s more than I ever understood. The anger, frustration, and heartbreak I felt these past weeks—they’re nothing compared to what Yuuji was going through. He’s barely an adult, forced to watch his older brother destroy himself.

“Yuuji,” I say softly, keeping my tone steady, “what’s going on? Why didn’t you call me?”

Yuuji looks up, and in that one look, I see just how much he’s been holding in. “I thought… I thought I could handle it, but… he’s just getting worse. I can’t even talk to him without him blowing up at me. He left some days ago, maybe more, and just stormed out. No one knows where he is. Toji, Choso, and even Geto…they all tried reaching him, but he wouldn’t answer. And then I remembered… you always knew how to reach him when he was like this.”

The ache in his voice cuts through me, and a fierce protectiveness rises up. I left Sukuna to deal with his pain, but it’s clear that his absence has left more than just a hole in my life—it’s tearing his family apart too.

“Yuuji,” I start, forcing calm into my voice. “I know things are tough, and Sukuna… he’s dealing with a lot. But you don’t have to do this alone. Have you told anyone else? Choso? Gojo?”

He shakes his head, looking at the ground. “No. Choso is dealing with enough as it is… and I don’t want them to worry more.”

He’s trying to be strong, trying to hold everyone else together when he’s the one falling apart. I know that feeling all too well. Sukuna and I broke things off because I couldn’t keep sacrificing my sanity for someone unreachable. But I never thought about how much worse it would get for those who couldn’t walk away, like Yuuji and Choso.

I reach out, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Yuuji, you don’t have to do this alone. You shouldn’t be doing this alone. Sukuna needs someone to get through to him, and it might not be me anymore—but we can try together.”

He stares at me for a moment, eyes wide and vulnerable. “Do you think… Do you think he’ll ever listen? Or is he too far gone?”

My heart aches at his words. “I don’t know. But we have to try.”

He nods, the glimmer of hope in his expression heartbreaking and determined.

I closed my eyes, gripping the phone tight. I knew Kenjaku could be difficult, even evasive when he wanted to be. Sukuna had a talent for finding people who were just as stubborn and reckless as he was. But I couldn’t back down, not now, not with Yuuji looking at me like he was counting on me.

“Kenjaku, I need to know. Yuuji’s here with me. He and Choso haven’t heard from Sukuna in days. They’re worried sick, and he’s…he’s not okay. I think you know that.”

There was a pause on the other end, the silence stretching uncomfortably long. I could almost picture Kenjaku’s calculating look, weighing his options. Finally, he sighed. “He showed up here a few nights back. I didn’t ask questions. He’s been sleeping it off on my couch, but I’ll be honest—he looks like hell, Y/N.”

The anger that had been simmering inside me now sparked, but it wasn’t toward Kenjaku. It was all for Sukuna—his self-destructive spiral, the pain he was dragging everyone into, and the part of him that still didn’t realize how much he meant to those around him.

“I’ll be over soon,” I said, voice steady despite the turmoil within me. “But please, don’t tell him I’m coming. I don’t want him bolting before I get there.”

Kenjaku’s chuckle was dry, but he agreed. “Sure thing. I’ll keep him occupied, though good luck getting through to him. He's really badly…. He’s fucked up, Y/N.”

I hung up, feeling a mix of relief and dread. When I looked at Yuuji, his eyes were wide, filled with a flicker of hope. He didn’t need to ask what I’d found out; the look on my face told him everything.

“I’m going to see him,” I said softly, reaching for my bag. “I’ll try to talk to him, to get through to him, somehow.”

Yuuji looked at me with a mixture of gratitude and worry. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

With a final squeeze of his shoulder, I turned and headed out the door, my heart pounding as I braced myself for the conversation I wasn’t sure I was ready to have.

Yuuji nodded, taking the key from my hand with a somber expression. "I will. Be careful, okay?" he said, his voice thick with unspoken worry.

I offered him a brief smile, though I could feel the weight of everything pressing down on me. "I will. Just... keep an eye on things here, yeah? If anything happens, call Toji."

Yuuji gave me a small, reassuring nod before he turned to head toward the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the hall as he climbed.

I stood there for a moment longer, staring at the door. The tension was building inside me—this wasn't going to be easy. I had no idea what I was walking into, but I knew I had to face it. For Yuuji. For Choso. And for myself.

With a deep breath, I pulled my jacket tighter around me and left the apartment, locking the door behind me. The walk to Kenjaku's place felt longer than usual, each step heavy with uncertainty. The city seemed quieter tonight, the streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement as I made my way toward the familiar building.

When I finally arrived, I didn't bother knocking. Kenjaku had given me the code to the door ages ago. I typed it in quickly, the door clicking open with an almost too-loud sound. The hallway was dimly lit, and I could hear the faint murmur of voices from behind one of the doors.

I hesitated for a moment, my hand on the doorframe. This was it. I didn’t know what I was about to walk into, but there was no turning back now.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open.

I stood there, taking in the scene before me—Sukuna, looking completely worn down, his eyes barely open, his hair disheveled and his face a mess of exhaustion and defeat. The cigarette hung loosely from his hand, the smoke curling up into the air as Uraume stood nearby, her posture stiff, frustration radiating off of her.

"Uraume, calm down," I said, my voice steady but firm as I crossed the room, stepping closer to the couch where Sukuna was sprawled out.

He groaned in response, his hand sliding off his face just enough for his eyes to meet mine, dull and clouded. He didn’t look surprised to see me, but his expression was unreadable.

"Great, now I'm fucking seeing and hearing shit," he muttered again, his voice thick with fatigue and annoyance.

I didn’t react to his comment, not letting it phase me. Instead, I walked over and sat on the edge of the couch, just enough to be close but not invading his space. I glanced over at Uraume, who seemed to be holding her ground, but she took a step back, recognizing that I was the one who needed to handle this.

"Sukuna, stop hiding," I said, my tone softer now, almost pleading. "What the hell are you doing?"

He didn’t answer immediately, instead, taking another drag from the cigarette, his eyes drifting away from mine, focused on the wall as though he didn’t want to face me, or anyone.

"You think running away is gonna fix anything?" I continued, my voice low but insistent. "You think wallowing in this is gonna bring Jin back? Or fix what’s broken?"

His jaw clenched, and for a moment, I thought he was going to snap at me again, but instead, he just let out a deep sigh, and the silence in the room hung thick.

"I’m not hiding," he muttered, barely above a whisper. "I’m just... tired."

"Then let us help you," I replied, my heart aching for him, but frustration mixing with it. "You don’t have to carry all this alone."

Sukuna shifted on the couch, his hand coming up to cover his eyes again, but this time, there was something in the way he did it—a sort of resignation, like he knew I was right, but couldn't bring himself to admit it. Uraume stood there, arms crossed, clearly waiting for him to make a move, but it was clear he wasn’t ready.

I stayed quiet for a moment, allowing him his space, but I couldn’t just leave it at that. He needed to hear it, and I needed him to understand.

"You're not alone in this, Sukuna," I said quietly, my voice breaking through the tension. "You’ve got people who care about you. People who are worried. And you don’t get to shut them out."

He didn’t respond immediately, but I could see his body language soften just a little. I wasn’t sure if he was hearing me, or if he was just too far gone to care, but I couldn’t give up on him—not when he was this close to losing everything, including himself.

"Sukuna..." I started again, but Uraume cut me off.

"You can only do so much, Y/N," she said, her tone serious, but a little softer now. "He’s gotta want it. He’s gotta find it in himself to get back up. And we can’t make that choice for him."

I nodded, swallowing back the knot in my throat. I knew she was right. But it didn’t make it any easier.

"You think he’ll listen?" I asked, barely above a whisper, not expecting a clear answer.

Uraume gave a small shrug. "Maybe. But only if he realizes he’s not beyond saving. But that’s up to him."

I glanced at Sukuna once more, feeling the weight of everything press down on me. His eyes were still closed, and he looked so damn defeated. Part of me wanted to scream, to shake him out of his spiral. But I knew that wasn’t what he needed.

What he needed was time and a reminder that he wasn’t the only one who had lost something.

Sukuna's smirk was laced with bitterness, and it was as if the weight of his guilt and self-loathing had manifested in those cruel words. His eyes never left me as he took another drag of his cigarette, the smoke swirling around us like a barrier, creating distance between us that I could almost feel.

I didn't flinch. I refused to let him see the impact his words had, but inside, I was crumbling.

His voice was sharp, cutting through the air, his pain seeping out in every syllable. "You think you can save me, Y/N? Don’t fool yourself. You know I’m worthless."

I wanted to shout at him, tell him he was wrong, but instead, my voice came out softer than I expected. "Sukuna, you're not worthless."

He let out a dry laugh, one that held no humor. "Yeah? Then why the hell did you leave? After we fucked, you tossed me out like I was nothing. Isn’t that what you think of me too?"

Each word felt like a blade to my chest. The anger, the resentment in his voice—it was suffocating. I could see the way his eyes flickered with something raw, something vulnerable that he kept buried under layers of pride and self-doubt. But he was pushing it all on me now.

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep my composure, but the truth was, hearing him say those things cut deeper than I ever anticipated.

I stepped closer to him, ignoring the thick cloud of smoke that hung in the air. "I didn’t leave because I thought you were worthless," I said, my voice trembling but determined. "I left because you pushed me away. You closed yourself off, pushed me out of your life like I was nothing. And I couldn’t keep pretending I didn’t see it."

His expression hardened at that, the smirk fading away as he leaned back on the couch, his eyes narrowing at me. "You think I wanted to push you away?" His voice was quieter now, but there was still that edge of anger behind it. "You think I wanted to feel this empty... this fucking broken?"

I shook my head, my heart aching for him even as I held my ground. "No, I don't think that. But that’s what you did. You kept pushing everyone away, even when they were just trying to help. I couldn’t be the one to fix you, Sukuna. I’m not your savior."

He looked away then, the cigarette trembling slightly in his hand. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do, Y/N?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper now, the anger gone, replaced by quiet desperation. "How do I fix this? How do I fix myself?"

I didn’t have an answer. How could I? He had to want it, had to find the strength to fight through his demons on his own. But that didn’t mean I was ready to give up on him.

"You can start by not pushing everyone away," I said, my voice softer now, almost pleading. "You’re not alone, Sukuna. Not yet."

For a long moment, there was silence between us. The tension hung in the air, thick and heavy, as I waited for him to respond. But instead, he just took another drag of his cigarette, looking lost in his thoughts.

"I never asked for any of this," he muttered finally, his words barely audible. "I never asked to be the one holding everything together. I never asked for... this pain."

I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t have an answer for him. All I could do was watch him, hoping, wishing he would find the strength to face what he had been running from.

But deep down, I knew it wasn’t up to me. It never was.

His words hit like a punch to the gut. The rawness in his voice, the way he almost choked on the words—it was as if he was tearing himself apart right in front of me. I watched him, frozen, my heart pounding as he looked away, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Just go, Y/N. Please," he said, his voice rough, barely holding it together. "You made the right choice. Don’t let guilt eat at you. Your love... it wasn’t enough."

I felt the sting of tears welling up, but I forced myself to hold them back. This wasn’t the time to break down. He was pulling up walls as quickly as I tried to break them down, and part of me wondered if he would ever let anyone truly see the pieces of himself he kept hidden. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that it wasn’t about my love being "enough"—that he was worthy of love even in his darkest moments. But I knew, standing there, that he wouldn’t hear it. Not now.

"Sukuna," I began, my voice catching despite my best efforts to stay steady. "It's not about being enough or not enough. You’re worth more than this... more than what you think of yourself right now."

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "Don’t... don’t do that. Don’t pretend I’m some lost soul you can save. You’ve done enough. It’s... it’s better this way."

"Better this way?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended, feeling the frustration bubbling up. "Better for who? Because I don't think it's better for you. Look at yourself, Sukuna. You’re drowning, and you’re just... letting it happen."

He clenched his jaw, his hand shaking slightly as he flicked the cigarette into an ashtray. "Maybe that’s what I deserve," he said quietly, almost to himself.

The silence between us felt thick, suffocating. I took a step closer, reaching out, but he backed away, pressing himself further into the couch as if my touch would somehow make things worse.

"If that’s really what you believe..." I whispered, my chest tight. "If you really think you deserve this pain... then I can’t force you to change your mind. But I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

For a moment, something flickered in his eyes, something soft and vulnerable, but it vanished as quickly as it appeared. He lowered his gaze, the same smirk that once felt charming was now nothing more than a mask.

"Just... go," he whispered again, his voice so small it was almost lost in the room. "Forget about me. Move on. It’s better that way."

I stared at him, wanting to reach him, to pull him out of this dark place. But maybe he was right. Maybe I couldn’t save him. Taking a shaky breath, I nodded, my heart shattering with each step as I turned toward the door.

Before I left, I looked back one last time. He wouldn’t meet my gaze, his eyes fixed on some distant point on the floor, lost in his own torment.

“Goodbye, Sukuna,” I whispered, the words barely escaping my lips. And with that, I stepped out, leaving behind the man I’d loved—and the pieces of myself that still wanted to believe he could be saved.

Sukuna's pov

I watched the door click shut behind her, the silence settling thick in the room. My chest felt hollow, but the ache gnawed deeper, clawing its way up my throat. I turned to my side, curling up on the couch, pressing my hand over my eyes as if I could shut out everything I’d just done. I’d pushed her away—again—and for what? To prove some sick point that I was beyond saving? That I didn’t deserve her?

I could still smell her faint perfume lingering in the air, feel the warmth she’d brought with her now slipping through my fingers. It wasn’t like I didn’t want her here. God, I wanted her more than anything. But how could I let her stay, knowing what a mess I’d become? How could I put her through the hell I was living every day?

My mind drifted back to Jin and Gramps, memories that never stayed buried long. Jin would’ve slapped me across the head if he saw me like this, wasting away, hurting everyone who tried to care. But I could never forgive myself for that night, for not being there when he needed me. And now, I was dragging Y/N down with me.

The silence felt louder now, each second stretching painfully, mocking me. She’d tried, even after everything I put her through. She tried to reach me, to pull me out of this pit I’d dug for myself. But I’d thrown her love back in her face. Again.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, pressing my fists to my temples. I wanted to cry, to scream, to feel something other than this endless, numbing void. But even that felt like too much. All I could do was lie here, drowning in my own misery, pushing everyone who mattered further and further away

Kenjaku grabbed my wrist, yanking my hands away from my ears. "Look at me, Sukuna," he snapped, his tone harsher than I'd ever heard. "This is your last chance. No one else is going to fight for you if you don’t fight for yourself."

I kept my eyes shut, trying to hold on to the darkness, anything to keep from facing the weight of his words. What good was that going to do? The damage was done, and I’d burned every bridge around me.

I tried pulling my arm free, but his grip tightened. "You think you’re the only one hurting?" Kenjaku’s voice dropped, each word laced with a fury that broke through my wall of apathy. "Your brothers are terrified. Toji, Uraume—they’re all watching you tear yourself apart. And Y/N? She might be gone, but you know damn well it’s killing her too."

My hands trembled as I finally opened my eyes, meeting his stare. I could see the disappointment, the anger. But there was something else, something that looked too much like hope.

"Why does it matter?" I murmured, my voice cracking. "I’ve already lost everything. What’s the point?"

Kenjaku’s expression softened for the briefest moment before he pulled me up to sit. "You haven't lost everything, not yet. But if you keep pushing everyone away, there will be nothing left. Not your friends, not Y/N, not even your own damn self."

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and I felt a flicker of something I hadn't felt in months—fear.

I held his stare, my jaw clenched, trying to keep the defiance in my eyes. But Kenjaku didn’t look away, his grip on my arm tightening. "What did you take?" he asked again, his tone sharper, cutting right through me.

I tried to shrug him off, mumbling, "Just something to take the edge off. Why does it matter?"

"Because," he hissed, shaking me slightly, "you can barely stand right now, Sukuna. You're falling apart, and you keep reaching for whatever dulls the pain instead of facing it. So I'll ask you one last time—what did you take?"

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his demand. I didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want him to know how far I'd fallen. But the way he was looking at me, with a mixture of anger and something close to pity, broke through the wall I’d put up.

"Xanax... some Oxy," I muttered, barely audible, each word feeling like a confession. "And... a couple drinks." I looked away, shame burning in my chest.

Kenjaku's face twisted with a grimace, and he let go of my arm, taking a step back as if the truth was too heavy for him. "This is what you're doing to yourself?" His voice was low, thick with disappointment. "This isn’t numbing the pain, Sukuna. It's destroying you."

I sank back onto the couch, the weight of his words pressing down like a boulder on my chest. "Maybe that’s the point," I whispered, barely holding back the rawness in my voice. "Maybe that’s all I deserve."

Kenjaku knelt in front of me, looking me dead in the eyes. "Then prove yourself wrong," he said firmly. "If you can’t do it for you, then do it for them—your brothers, your friends, everyone who’s still here trying to reach you. But you have to decide to get up and fight."

My answer was simple, and final. "No."

Kenjaku stared at me, frustration flaring in his eyes. I could tell he was holding back from saying more, like he knew words were useless right now.

“You want to keep drowning?” he asked, his voice sharper, leaning closer as if to pierce right through me. “You think this is easier, huh? Wasting away until there's nothing left?”

“Maybe it is," I said, my voice hollow. "Maybe it’s the only way I can even get through this. The only thing that keeps my mind off... everything.”

“You’re just running,” Kenjaku shot back, anger finally surfacing. "You think the pain will leave you alone? It won’t. It’s gonna keep eating you alive until there’s nothing left, Sukuna. Nothing for you, and nothing for the people who actually give a damn about you."

I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms until the sting cut through the haze clouding my mind. “Then let it. I’m not worth anything to anyone.”

Kenjaku exhaled, the fight leaving his shoulders. He stared at me, his eyes dark and steady. “You keep saying that, but it’s not true. You know it’s not true.”

Silence settled between us, heavy and unbreakable, until he finally straightened, his expression hardening. “Fine. You want to stay here, stay here. But don’t expect any of us to stick around and watch you throw your life away.”

[jayinserenity]

So, I did it again and got caught up thinking about some Wyrmclan cats, today's subject being Daisypaw who I have Feelings about and grieving is complicated when you're in his position so @wyrm-clangen pls feel free to let me know if I've totally missed the mark or anything but... yeah. I wrote another drabble.

“C’mooon Daisypaw, I haven’t gotten you sick? Why can’t I go see them???” Daisypaw rolled his eyes above the mask, careful not to let Ivyshine see as he sifted through the herbs in the carrier Ferretlily had given him to bring to the quarantine tunnels. Sparrowlight was wheezing a little as he laughed, and Daisypaw saw Wingpaw, settling into her nest carefully, smile a little at her uncle’s antics. 

“You haven’t gotten me sick because Ferret and I cleanse thoroughly every time we leave this den and we’re both relatively healthy. Raggedspeckle just gave birth and the kits were just born so they can’t fight off illness nearly as well.” He responded, refusing to play in to the older tom’s nonsense, but regretted his shortness a little as he heard Ivyshine flop back into his nest and saw the sickly warrior droop in genuine sadness. “Turtlefreckle will be watching over her, and Icyclaw has been sleeping outside the nursery every night. You focus on getting healthy so you can get back sooner.” Daisypaw sighed as he turned back, nudging the slender black warrior with the hard surface of his mask. He turned away again when Ivyshine’s wet eyes looked up at him, seeming like he was ramping up for another round of dramatics. 

“Don’t worry so much, Ivy, my littermates are watching out for her too!” Wingpaw mewed, her voice was hoarse from her coughing and while she was obviously trying to use her usual energetic nature to reassure, Daisypaw could tell the younger cat was exhausted. He made sure she took the lungwort and feverfew, hoping dosing her more heavily would help her fight off the yellowcough that had managed to sneak up on them. Thank Starclan none of her littermates or denmates had become ill as well. Between her and Sparrowlight, Ivyshine had been mollified, and Daisypaw gave the patients a final check before gathering up their supplies and slipping from the quarantine tunnel. 

He hadn’t been joking about the cleansing, Daisypaw entered the tunnel to the cold underground river with only a little dread. The water was frigid, and clung to his pelt worse than the sap that had gotten stuck in his fur when Rookrise took him to gather pine needles.

Daisypaw carefully ignored the pang of pain that thinking about Mom brought. She’d been looking for more feverfew with Rattail and Willowdew one day and then… none of them had come back. It had been the kits all over again, search parties scoured the territory for them, but no one knew where they’d gone. Daisy had been trying not to think too hard about it, Ferret had told him it wasn’t his fault they weren’t found. That him being on the search patrols probably wouldn’t have changed anything. 

It was easier said than believed. 

Daisypaw shook the water from his pelt, taking off his new clean mask and rinsing the inside before leaving it to dry next to Ferretlily’s own, and padded tiredly back up the tunnel towards the main cavern. The faint light from outside filtering down reassured him he hadn’t lost the entire day in the quarantine tunnel so he set off through the varying burrows searching for his mentor. 

Most of the apprentices were out training, he knew, the mentors had decided to keep everyone as busy as possible. Something about idle paws, Daisypaw didn’t really pay attention. The only one that really mattered was Bluepaw, to be honest. Turtlefreckle had been keeping Bluepaw extra busy, now that his own litter were apprentices, and Daisypaw knew his brother’s mentor was trying to keep his own mind off of the yellowcough outbreak as much as Bluepaw’s. He only saw the new apprentice, Goldpaw or whatever his name was, hanging out with Sunpaw and Midnightpaw. The two younger apprentices had been on dawn patrol that morning, so Daisypaw supposed it made sense that the three were here, talking about something or another over a rabbit and a shrew. Sunpaw gave him a small smile and waved his tail, but Daisypaw… well he couldn’t really bring himself to care as he passed the other young cats. He saw the brown apprentice’s tail flop back down from his periphery before he was into another set of tunnels, following the freshest hint of Ferretlily’s scent under everyone else’s. 

“... can’t keep pushing them this hard. The fact Wingpaw got sick so suddenly makes me wonder if she was too run down to fight the illness off.” He heard his mentor’s voice from the leader’s den, and settled himself to sit outside politely. “I know leaf bare has been harsh, but we can’t afford more of the healthier young cats getting sick.”

“You’re right. I’ll talk with the mentors later, see if we can set a better schedule.” Fiercechasm’s voice then. “Give them some rest time.”

“Thank you. I’ll try and do the same with Daisypaw, I’m worried he’ll run himself ragged.” Daisypaw frowned, flicking an ear in annoyance. Ferret was always fussing. “He’s not taking the time to process anything… sometimes I wish I had an excuse to send him out with the other apprentices, but with Rookrise gone I can’t spare him.” Daisypaw felt that annoyance fade a little at the guilt and tiredness if Ferretlily’s voice. He knew, objectively, he should be sadder than he was. Mom being missing. Mama and Panther dying last moon. But he just… didn’t. 

“Has he talked to Zuva?” Fiercechasm was asking, and that bit of annoyance was back. He didn’t need a mediator, besides, what was Zuva going to do? Bring his moms and sister back? This wasn’t something the old molly could fix like a spat over the last bass on the fresh kill pile. 

“No, and he gets irritated every time I ask.”

“Same with Bluepaw, Turtlefreckle has been trying, but now that Wingpaw is sick… I don’t want them to isolate more.” Daisypaw scoffed. Then realized both voices from the leader’s den had gone quiet. 

“... Daisy, I know you’re out there. Come on, we need to talk.” He sighed, but got to his paws and padded in to the den. Fiercechasm was looking a little uncomfortable, sitting to one side, but Ferret just looked tired. “Eavesdropping?”

“Was looking for you, figured I’d wait till you were done, didn’t really care about the conversation at first.” He muttered as he sat opposite her. Ferretlily didn’t hold the same intimidation factor his mother had, Hornetrise could make a rogue back down with a single look purely based on size alone, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little uncomfortable under Ferretlily’s assessing eye. She always seemed to see right through him. 

“... you know that’s part of why I’m worried, right?” Daisypaw nodded, feeling his ears droop a little without his permission. “I’m not mad at you, Daisy, but this not caring and only being around Bluepaw or me, it’s not healthy.” Daisypaw frowned. What did Ferretlily know? Did she lose both her parents and her only sister over the course of two moons? Daisypaw’s irritation sparked into anger.

“Who says it’s not? You? Fiercechasm? Zuva?” His tone wasn’t kind, and he saw the way Fiercechasm startled.

“Yes, yes, and yes. Daisypaw you aren’t the first cat to lose ones important to them.” Ferretlily started, her own irritation seeping in to his voice, and Daisypaw pinned his ears. 

“So they get to say how I should handle it?”

“No, but you can’t just pretend the rest of the clan doesn’t exist-”

“Are you giving Midnightpaw the same lecture? He’s only really hanging out with Sunpaw and the Heartclan reject-”

“Daisypaw!”

“Enough.” Fiercechasm didn’t snap, didn’t shout, but her voice cut through their argument just the same and Daisypaw felt a little shame at the disappointment in the deputy’s eyes. “Ferretlily, maybe you should go get some air.” The senior healer frowned at the younger cat, but nodded and left nonetheless, leaving Daisypaw with the silent deputy across the leader’s den from him.

“... I’m not going to go play moss ball with the kits and pretend everything is ok.” He muttered after a moment, scowling down and to the side to avoid looking at her.

“I know.”

“And I’m not gonna go cry and pretend it will make it better.”

“Because it won’t.” Daisypaw startled, then, looking up at Fiercechasm and seeing her expression soften. “Pretending everything is ok and wallowing in sadness won’t make it better. But neither will pretending you’re a loner in a camp full of clanmates who love you.” The two of them sat quietly for a bit, only the faint sounds of one of the patrols coming back breaking the heavy silence, before Daisypaw finally heaved a sigh and let his hackles drop.

“I don’t want it to hurt like that again.” He mewed, and it felt a little better to say it, and even better when Fiercechasm nodded in agreement. 

“I know. But holding everyone a taillength away won’t make it hurt any less when you lose one of them. I tried that, and it still hurt just as bad.” Daisypaw watched the deputy as she seemed to stare at something he couldn’t see, and wondered which of their lost clanmates she was remembering. 

“When Plum died, I shut down, didn’t want to be around anyone. Some days I could barely look at Sparrow and Swift knowing that they were all that was left of her, other days I clung to them like they were my last link to life… then Duskpaw was struck on the Thunderpath. And even though I thought I’d given up on opening my heart to the rest of the clan, losing her was like prodding an open wound. Watching Rattail and his kits mourn, then watching them do it all over again when we lost Seed to the twolegs the next moon? I realized that hiding away and pretending I didn’t care wasn’t protecting my heart. It was just hurting the ones I cared about.” Fiercechasm looked back at him, and Daisypaw was surprised to see her smile, even if it was tinged with sadness. “I know how tempting it is to hide away and pretend you don’t care. But there are cats who care about you. I know Swish has been worried, he can take Bluepaw on patrol when Turtle lets him, but you’re hidden away in the quarantine tunnel… Maybe start there?” Daisypaw felt another wave of guilt. He knew their older brother had been hurt too, but he’d assumed since Swishbeam was with Eddymist he wouldn’t care. Knowing that Swish had been trying… a little bit of warmth seeped back into his chest at that. 

“... Thanks Fierce. And sorry for yelling.”

“If you need to yell and be mad, that’s ok Daisypaw, but know that your clanmates are here for you. If you want to be mad or get out of the burrows for a bit to do something that isn’t looking for herbs, just ask.” Daisypaw nodded and gave a weak smile as he slunk out of the den, noting Riftstar standing further from the den in a way that told him the leader had heard, but wanted to give them privacy. He turned a little to give Daisypaw that gentle smile he always did before heading in to talk to Fiercechasm.

“Daisypaw?” He startled a little, looking up at Sunpaw as he approached. Midnightpaw and Goldenpaw were still near the apprentice’s den, but the quiet brown apprentice was looking at him in worry. “I know it’s kind of silly to ask if you’re ok, because I know I’m still not okay about Mom, Heron and Burdock, but… do you want to come sit with us? Goldenpaw was telling us some Heartclan stories, and you always told really good stories when you would watch me in the quarantine tunnel.” Daisypaw blinked, a little surprised, looked between Sunpaw and the other two apprentices watching them before that bit of warmth he’d felt talking to Fiercechasm came back. He didn’t fight the little smile that came to him as he nodded, seeing Sunpaw’s expression light up before they went to join the other two apprentices. He told himself he’d swap stories until Bluepaw got home. But by the time his brother joined them, not only was he in the midst of telling the younger apprentices about the time Ferretlily had started an argument with Agavepelt of Nightingaleclan in the middle of a Gathering that had led to a three-clan screeching match and ended the Gathering early. 

“Good to see you out of the tunnels, Daisy.” Bluepaw mewed, tucking up next to him and giving his own tired smile. Bluepaw didn’t sleep well these days, dreams filling with howls and snarls where Daisypaw’s were haunted by coughing and gasping, but with the rest of the apprentices settling around them, Daisypaw wondered if maybe, just maybe, they’d be okay. It wasn’t okay now, but it might be, someday. 

[seraphtrevs]

Been rewatching some Jesse scenes since I’m gearing up to write again (sequel to Sweet Tooth – wooo), and I particularly wanted to look at his relationship with his parents since I’ve given Jesse a son. And like, after watching those scenes again—I really don’t think Jesse’s parents were abusive. Since I was writing notes up, I thought I might share them (under the cut because it's 2000 words 😭)

Here's what happens in 1x04: Jesse smokes so much meth he starts having paranoid delusions that people are coming to kill him. He shows up at his parents’ house—I’m guessing he went there because being with his parents made him feel safe. He doesn’t knock on the door, though—he crashes into their backyard while his parents and brother are eating dinner. He’s still very obviously high.

His parents let him in to sleep it off. It’s likely been years since he’s lived there, but they’ve kept his bedroom for him. There are pictures that he drew as a child framed on the wall, as well as pictures of himself as a child.

Meanwhile, his parents wonder what kind of drugs he’s on. His mom wants to check him for needle marks. His dad wonders if they should let him stay, and his mom mentions a church that has meetings for people struggling with addiction, and that if he agrees to go then maybe he can stay (although Jesse has a house to live in. There’s no reason for him to stay, but his parents probably see his sudden appearance as maybe a cry for help). Jesse’s mom mentions she’s not sure what to tell Jake about the sudden reappearance of his older brother, which suggests Jesse drifts in and out of their lives, which is probably hurtful and confusing for a child.

Jesse appears and asks when dinner will be served. His mom asks him if he slept well and offers to do his laundry, which he declines. His dad waits for Jesse to leave before saying to his wife “we are not doing this again,” suggesting that there have been multiple times in the past that Jesse has shown up like this and it’s never turned out well. His mom protests, but Dad is firm—they’ve got to lay down the law and be consistent.

Except they don’t. They find Jesse setting the table, and they clearly don’t have the heart to make any demands. Why? Well—I think the obvious answer is that seeing their son home, setting the table like he did as a little boy, tugs at their heartstrings. Which is the reason Jesse is doing it.

So like—so far, his parents have been very kind and understanding to him. They didn’t berate him about showing up to their house high, they gave him a place to sleep it off, his mother politely asked him if he slept well, offered to do his laundry, and welcomed him for dinner.

Cut to Jesse hanging out with his brother in his room. He admires Jake’s many awards and suggests they hang out more often. Jake doesn’t seem very interested in this and actually seems pretty uncomfortable with Jesse being there. Mom checks in on them, asking how they’re doing in an overly bright tone, and leaves the door open. I think if Jesse’s mom was abusive, she would have said something nasty to him and ordered the door be left open, but she didn’t. Why? Probably because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, while still signaling to Jake that she’s available if he needs her.  

Jesse is VERY offended by this and sneers that she probably thinks he's a criminal (he is, though) and that she doesn’t want him to corrupt their favorite son. Jake scoffs at this and says that Jesse is clearly the favorite, since he’s all they ever talk about. If Jake is under the impression that Jesse is their favorite son, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that they aren’t talking about how much they hate him all the time. They talk about him all the time because they’re worried. Jesse looks surprised, and then a little ashamed.

That night, he can’t sleep, so he opens the trunk in his bedroom. It’s full of his old toys and drawings. He gets a phone call from Combo and they make a deal for Jesse to sell him more drugs. Because he is, in fact, a criminal. And like—I think it’s deeply shitty of Jesse to be angry at his mom for not even directly saying to his face that she’s worried he might be committing crimes but just maybe sort of implying it, when that is indeed what he’s doing, under her own roof, after she welcomed him in. Jesse is the asshole in this situation, not his mom.

Later on, Jesse’s parents’ maid finds a joint. His parents are upset and assume it’s his. His mom asks, rhetorically, how many chances have they given him, and how many times have they had this conversation, and how many times has Jesse lied to their faces and played on their emotions by telling them what they want to hear so they’ll give him another chance, which they always do, and how it makes them feel like fools. If Jesse’s parents were abusive, I don’t think they would have given him so many chances. And his parents have a right to be angry about all the lies he’s told them. They are wrong in this particular case, but it’s not unreasonable for them to make that assumption, since they’ve had the exact same thing happen many times before, which Jesse doesn’t deny. And even though the joint wasn’t his, he did spend the previous evening making a drug deal out of his childhood bedroom.

And like—we’ve witnessed the manipulation his mom is talking about in this very episode, with Jesse setting the table to prevent them from asking him about what drugs he was on when he showed up in their backyard, which works—they don’t confront him. They don’t want to chase him away.

So they kick him out. But it’s not like he’s going to the streets. He has a house! A very nice house, in a great neighborhood, all to himself!

And about that house. I also rewatched the scene where he loses the home in 2x04, and this is what happens: his parents ask Jesse to speak with them and their lawyer. Jesse pouts and scowls and rolls his eyes. He assumes this is “another” intervention, i.e. a boring waste of his time, in his opinion. He only becomes interested in what’s happening when the lawyer says he has 72 hours to leave. He can’t believe he’s being kicked out of his own house! Except his dad has to explain to him that he doesn’t own it.

How was Jesse not aware that he didn’t own the house??? He just seems to think that living in it means he owns it. That suggests to me that he isn’t paying rent. Jesse isn’t a little kid. He’s got to be aware that owning a house is a legal matter, and that he’d need to have his name put on the deed. But he doesn’t know that, because it’s pretty clear to me that he’s never actually had any adult responsibilities.

So back to the meeting. Jesse is furious at being kicked out of “his” house. Apparently at one point, the plan had been to sell it and split the profits 50/50. He angrily asks why that’s off the table now. Jesse’s dad says it’s because Jesse a “speed manufacturer.” Jesse IMMEDIATELY lies—like he doesn’t even take a beat to process it, he just reflexively denies it, sounding outraged that his father would DARE to accuse him of such a thing. But like—he is a speed manufacturer!!!

His mom says that a DEA agent came to their house looking for him. Jesse immediately lies again and says that he’s been HELPING the DEA, and that he could get into a lot of trouble for telling them so, and sarcastically says “you’re welcome,” I guess expecting them to be impressed that he’s helping the DEA? (These are all lies—he is lying his ass off.) His mom says she saw the meth lab in the basement. Jesse still doesn’t admit it. Instead, he expresses annoyance that his mom has a key. To the house she owns. The lawyer confronts him with photos of the lab. Jesse dismisses it as not a big deal because it isn’t even there anymore, he cleaned it out. He doesn’t acknowledge at all that he just lied to his parents’ face several times in the space of about five minutes.

His dad says they can’t stop him from ruining his life, but they won’t let him take them down with them. It's harsh, but true. Jesse set up a meth lab in the basement of a home his parents legally owned, which could have gotten them into trouble. And when the DEA came looking for him, they didn’t turn him over, even though they could have. I mean, maybe you can argue that they just didn’t want to lose the house, but I think they also don’t want their son to go to jail.

His mom shows up later at his house while he’s taking a nap. He tries to hide all his drug paraphernalia while telling his mom that the whole thing has been such a huge wake up call for him, and how he’s thinking about going to business school, and how great it is that they’re starting a dialogue! Very sweet now, very apologetic. (HE’S LYING. HE’S NOT GOING TO BUSINESS SCHOOL, HE’S SELLING DRUGS.)

Then he notices that furniture is being moved out. He drops the sweetness and gets angry. His mom tells him she’s putting the furniture in storage and will give it back to him when he “grows up.” Then he gets really angry and says that he “earned” the house by taking his aunt to her appointments and making her lunch every day. And then his mom says that he didn’t make her lunch every day.

And you know—I kind of believe her? Like—Jesse obviously was involved with his aunt’s care, but is it hard to believe that maybe he was a little flaky about it? And it’s true Ginny wanted him to live in her house. But she didn’t leave the house to Jesse in her will. She left it to her sister. Why? I think probably because she knew that Jesse wasn’t mature enough to own a home. Which was true!

Then Jesse gets right up in her face and starts screaming that she abandoned her dying sister (did she?) and now she’s making her eldest son homeless (as if Jesse’s choices didn’t have anything to do with that) then he sarcastically says what a great family they have. And then she slaps him and yells back that she doesn’t know why he’s like this. What a monster.

Anyway. I think we see Jesse suffer so much abuse at Walt’s hands that we kind of forget that he had a whole life before Walt showed up in it, and he was royally fucking it up in spite of having a lot of privilege. He's an upper middle class white boy who, at age 24, has no job (other than selling drugs), and yet he had a house to live in rent-free (kind of doubt he paid utilities either), clothes to wear, and food to eat, and it basically seems like he did whatever he felt like (which was mostly partying) while suffering very few consequences other than not being allowed to live with his parents, which I’m assuming as an adult man, he’d rather not be doing anyway. And the only reason he lost that house was because he built a meth lab in the basement. Jesse wasn’t abused. He was coddled.

[anyacad0]

I am a huge high cloud quintet enjoyer so it may surprise you to learn that I absolutely hate the quest “Clouds Leave No Trace”.

let me explain. I will admit that a lot of it stems from my issues with Jingliu as a character. I appreciate that she’s meant to be cold and detached, but what bothers me is that although she says considers herself to be a sinner alongside Yingxing and Dan Feng, she constantly acts like she’s better than them, criticising them, acting as if their choice was an easy one while hers wasn’t. Her humility feels incredibly insincere, and she becomes very difficult to empathise with as a result.

then there’s the quest itself. I split it into three parts.

one: redundant infodumping

For the first part of the quest, Jingliu, Dan Heng and Yanqing travel to different parts of the Luofu so Jingliu can bid farewell to her past home. It’s basically a plot device for her to drop some lore about Yingxing and Baiheng, which is fine on its own, but the problem is, none of the information she gives is new. All of it was stuff we could already figure out from character stories and other in-game text.

the second issue with this part of the quest is Dan Heng’s presence, or rather, lack of it. Considering he’s the main character tying the quintet subplot into the main story, you’d think he’d be important to the quest focussed on them. But he’s just… there. He says and does pretty much nothing. You could cut him from the whole quest and it wouldn’t be any different.

In fact, Dan Heng also suffers greatly from the timing of the quest. If we look at the voice lines for IL, it’s obvious that he’s a snapshot of Dan Heng shortly after this quest, since he knows Blade is the one who made Cloudpiercer. Ichor Of Two Dragons also seems to take place at the end of this quest. This is an issue because both release in version 1.3, making the quest which takes place in version 1.4 feel like a regression in his character development when actually the story was for some reason out of order.

part 2: Dan Feng gets mischaracterised to hell and back

This is the worst part of the quest by far. Jingliu does her self-righteous monologue and nails the coffin shut by giving the most biased description possible of the Sedition.

she first says that Dan Feng was trying to revive Baiheng. Dan Heng’s and Jingliu’s character stories reveal that this is probably not the case, and that his actual goal was to create another high elder,

she also says that the reason Dan Feng did what he did was selfishness and an inability to accept Baiheng’s death. She fails to mention the fact that the Xianzhou treated him like a convenient weapon instead of an actual person, that he hated how many innocent people died in the war between Aeons, that his people were going extinct because of said war, that he hated how he gave the Xianzhou the power to cause so much death, that he had probably attempted less dramatic rebellions in his past lives to no avail, that the high elder succession was incredibly screwed up and he didn’t want to have to pass that burden on to his next incarnation (granted that lasts part’s only implicit). Not to mention that she didn’t actually bear witness to any of the events she described, only the aftermath.

part 3: Blade monologue

This is the only redeeming quality of the entire quest

he acknowledges that Dan Feng and Yingxing weren’t simply upset with Baiheng’s death, but with the unfairness of everything in general

he expresses genuine regret

and the way he looks up to Jingliu after she tortured him is the only time where that story genuinely presents her as someone who’s done terrible things, showing how she managed to break Blade so badly that he feels thankful for it

in conclusion, do not play this quest if you want to actually understand Dan Feng as a character

[writeawayneny]

unspoken

ian hecox x padilla!reader

summary: ian and anthony's little sister have always had a complicated history, but life seemed to pull you in different directions. after she moved back to California, reuniting with ian stirs up old feelings he can't ignore.

word count: 2.6k

warning: so, english isn't my first language.

---------------------------------------

it was supposed to be a regular thursday morning. answer a few emails, review notes on the upcoming videos, maybe sit in on a meeting with the producers and writers, then head into the studio to shoot. just another day in the office.

ian holding a yawn as he heads to the kitchen, hoping a cup of coffee might help him stir alive. but something was off. the kitchen, usually quiet this time of morning, was packed. a group of people crowded by the window, all looking into the lobby.

being the curious person he was, ian approached, mug in hand. “what’s going on?” he asked, leaning in beside angela.

“dude, who's that pretty girl?” she whispered back, eyes wide.

ian’s heart stopped when he saw through the window. standing there was (y/n) padilla. she looked radiant, as always. her signature smile bright up the room as she waited for someone or something.

for a moment, ian forgot where he was. he hadn’t thought he would see her again, not after all these years, not on a random thursday at of nowhere.

(y/n) padilla had always been the popular girl—not just because she was effortlessly gorgeous but because she was genuinely one of the kindest, friendliest souls anyone could meet. since high school, she seemed to have this magnetic pull; every guy who knew her found themself a little bit in love with her. ian was no exception, though he never admits it. his friendship with anthony meant everything, and he always stuck to the “bros before little cute sisters” rule.

ian’s escape to his growing feelings was to ignore them entirely, hoping they fade in time. but as the years went on, those feelings didn’t go away. if anything, they grew stronger. at the beginning of smosh, (y/n) had been so supportive, helping with anything anthony asked. whether it was behind the scenes assistance or even acting in videos, she was always around, bringing her enthusiasm and encouragement.

for ian, her presence was a mixture of comfort and torture. the more he felt drawn to her, the harder he tried to avoid her. he was terrified that once he admitted his crush things would complicate, not just with anthony and him, but with the future they were building.

then, (y/n) left for college, moving to new york to study music. her passion for music was undeniable; she played multiple instruments, composed her own songs, and had a stunning voice. Music was her life’s calling. and for ian, her absence brought relief—no more awkwardly dodging her in the hallway, no more suppressed feelings whenever she flashed that bright smile his way. still, every time anthony mentioned her, ian felt a sting of something he couldn’t shake. but time passed, and he told himself he will get over it.

when anthony eventually left smosh, ian couldn’t help but feel like he was saying goodbye to both padillas. it was a bittersweet farewell, one that left ian wondering if he would ever see them again. to cope, he threw himself into work, keeping smosh alive through determination, working harder than ever. he lost too much to let it all go.

ian's mind raced, flooded by a mix of emotions he thought he left behind. it was surreal—one second, he was expecting nothing more than an ordinary day, and the next, there she was, as if she’d walked right out of his memories and into the lobby.

she didn’t notice him at first, busy looking into her phone, but when she finally glanced up and their eyes met, her expression shifted. she gave him that familiar smile—the one that had always made him feel like he was the only person in the room.

ian watched, his heart pounding, as anthony approached her. they shared a hug, their laughter flowing through the lobby, and ian felt both familiar and deeply uncomfortable. he forced himself to look away, taking a slow sip of his coffee as he tried to steady his nerves.

she looked even more beautiful, more self-assured than he remembered, radiating that same warmth that had drawn him in all those years ago. memories he tried to bury resurfaced: the nights they would all stay late working on smosh videos, the way her laughter filled the room, and, of course, the quiet moments when he’d catch himself watching her, wishing he could say everything.

arasha nudged him, snapping him out of his thoughts. “hey, Ian, you okay?” she asked. “you’re staring.”

ian blinked, trying to pull himself back to the present. “yeah, just… surprised. it’s been a while.”

“she is really pretty.” Amanda murmured beside him; her tone tinged with awe.

angela leaned closer; eyes fixed on (y/n). “but who is she?”

courtney joined, chuckling. “that’s anthony’s little sister.”

“i thought that she was in new york” now, shayne approached, reuniting with everyone else in the window. by now, it seems that every single person in the office was there.

"yeah, she was," ian replied, trying to keep his tone casual, though his heart was the complete opposite. "i mean, last i heard, she was still in new york."

as ian attempted to act like nothing had happened, he noticed (y/n) and anthony glancing toward the crowd gathered in the kitchen. she lifted her hand in a small, tentative wave, her eyes lingering on ian with a hint of surprise and warmth. anthony seemed to chuckle, shaking his head slightly as if already anticipating the reactions.

“guess we weren’t very subtle,” spencer muttered under his breath, smile on his face as he watched the siblings make their way toward the kitchen.

ian's pulse quickened. he hadn’t prepared himself for this moment, for the possibility of (y/n) walking back into his life as if she hadn’t been gone at all.

anthony introduced his sister with a big smile. "for the ones who don’t know her, meet (y/n), my baby sister."

she rolled her eyes, nudging him playfully. “only by a few years, anton. you make it sound like i’m still a kid.”

“you always will be my baby sister.” anthony ruffles her hair.

chanse piped up with a grin. “so, is it true that anthony used to straighten his hair every day?”

(y/n) laughed, looking mischievously. “oh, absolutely! i think mom was thrilled when he finally moved out, she was tired of the whole house smelling like burnt hair.”

“well, but you cried a whole month because you missed me” anthony pointed out.

ian tried to focus on his coffee, keeping his expression neutral as everyone burst into laughter. seeing anthony and (y/n) exchange made his chest tighten. they hadn't been in the same room in years, yet it felt like no time had passed. her laughter, light and musical, filled the kitchen, and ian felt that familiar mix of comfort and unease settle over him.

arasha nudged him with her elbow. "you look like you’ve seen a ghost."

ian took another sip of his coffee, trying to untangle the knot in his throat. "bad night" it was everything that he could mumble

“so, what brings you back?” shayne asked genuinely curious.

(y/n) tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “i just got a job teaching music at a high school here. it’s been a crazy few years in new york, but i figured it was about time I annoyed anthony in person instead of just over the phone.”

“annoy me?” anthony quipped, acting offense. “i’m the best brother ever. you’re lucky to have me.”

(y/n) rolled her eyes but smiled fondly. “sure, sure. keep telling yourself that.”

the smosh cast chuckled, already taken in by her charm. ian’s stomach flipped. he wasn’t sure if it was excitement, dread, or some horrible mix of both, he stayed quiet. his mind was racing. a job? here? that meant she was staying. that changed everything.

courtney tilted her head, curious. “what kind of music do you teach?”

“mostly choir and some music theory,” (y/n) replied, her eyes lighting up. “it’s a lot of work, but i love it. high school kids can be a handful, but they’re also so talented and full of potential.”

angela nodded. “that sounds so exciting, i was in a performing middle school and high school. do you play any instruments?”

“a few,” (y/n) said modestly. “piano, guitar, a little violin. i also sing, and i love composing, it helps me to channel myself and understand—” she stopped herself, chuckling. “sorry, i’m rambling. i could talk about music all day.”

“don’t apologize,” amanda said with a grin. “it’s cool to hear about someone who’s actually passionate about their job.”

ian placed his mug down on the counter, the sound barely registering among the chatter and laughter swirling around (y/n). her energy seemed to fill the room, like a warm melody that everyone tuned into. ian tried to act like her presence wasn’t affecting him, like his chest wasn’t tightening with every smile she directed toward the group. he needed an escape.

“i’m gonna… uh, check on something in my office.” ian mumbled, already stepping toward the door.

shayne raised an eyebrow but didn’t press him, offering only a “sure, man.”

ian slipped out into the hallway, the din of voices fading as he made his way toward the quiet office. once inside, he leaned against the wall, exhaling sharply.

“what’s wrong with me?” he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. he worked so hard to push those feelings aside, to move on. and now, with just one smile, one laugh, (y/n) had turned his carefully built defenses into rubble.

he knew he couldn’t avoid her forever. she was here now—back, working nearby, and clearly comfortably slipping back into their world. it was only a matter of time before they had to talk, and he wasn’t sure he could keep his emotions from spilling over when that moment came.

ian stayed in his office longer than he needed to, pacing back and forth as he tried to piece his thoughts together. avoidance had always been his strategy when it came to the younger padilla, but now, it was clear that it wasn’t going to work. they now were adults.

his mind buzzed with questions. did she remember how close they’d been back then? did she notice how he’d pulled away? did she even care? he shook his head, trying to shove those thoughts aside. overthinking wasn’t going to help. But even as he tried to focus, his mind kept drifting back to the way she’d looked at him earlier—like she was genuinely happy to see him.

a knock at the door pulled him out of his spiraling thoughts. he tensed, had (y/n) come looking for him? he wasn’t ready for that.

“ian?” courtney’s voice filtered through the door.

he exhaled, relieved but still on edge. “yeah, come in.”

courtney stepped inside; their usual cheerful attitude now with a trace of concern. “hey, just wanted to check on you. you’ve been mia for a while, and everyone’s starting to wonder if you fell into an emailing black hole or something.”

“I’m fine”

courtney raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “you sure? you bailed pretty quick back there.”

ian shrugged, trying to play it off. “just needed a break. the crowd was a bit… overwhelming.”

they smirked. “right. overwhelming. had nothing to do with anthony’s sister, huh?”

ian shot them a look. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“sure, you don’t… look, i’m not trying to pry or anything, but… you seemed rattled. if you wanna talk about it—”

“there’s nothing to talk about,” ian interrupted, a little too quickly. he rubbed his eyes, avoiding their gaze. “sorry… it’s just been a while since i’ve seen her, that’s all.”

courtney studied him for a moment, then nodded. “okay. but if you change your mind, you know where to find me, you can talk to me.”

ian managed a small smile. “thanks, court bourt.”

As they left, ian sank into the chair, his thoughts spinning again. he knew courtney meant well, but talking about it wouldn’t help. what could he even say? that he’d been harboring a crush on (y/n) even after all these years? that seeing her again had shaken him more than he cared to admit? yeah, he’d better keep it to himself, just like he always had.

the rest of the day passed in a haze for ian. meetings blurred together, and the words on scripts in front of him seemed to swim. every now and then, he caught quick looks of (y/n) through the office’s glass walls. she was chatting animatedly with courtney and shayne, sharing laughs with arasha and spencer, or exploring the studio as amanda and angela gave her the unofficial tour.

it was almost painful how seamlessly she fit into their world, her energy like a magnet pulling everyone closer. ian stayed out everyone sigh, busying himself with anything he could find to avoid lingering in the same room for too long.

he thought he’d been successful until the end of the day.

as the team began to pack up, ian headed toward the parking lot, hoping to slip out unnoticed. but just as he reached the door, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“ian, wait!”

he froze, every nerve in his body suddenly hyper-aware. turning slowly, he saw (y/n) jogging toward him, her bag slung over one shoulder and an apologetic smile on her face.

“hey,” she said, slightly out of breath but still radiant. “i feel like i haven’t had a chance to talk to you all day.”

ian swallowed hard, forcing a smile. “yeah, it’s been… a busy day.”

she tilted her head, studying him in that way that always made him feel like she could see right through him. “you’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”

the direct way of her question caught him off guard, and he stumbled over his words. “what? no! i’ve just… had a lot going on. you know how it is.”

(y/n) raised an eyebrow, unconvinced but willing to let it slide. “sure. well, i just wanted to say hi properly and… it’s really good to see you again, ian. it’s been too long.”

her sincerity hit him like a punch to the gut. he forced himself to meet her gaze, his heart pounding. “yeah, it has. it’s good to see you too, (y/n).”

she smiled, and for a moment, the years of distance between them seemed to fade. “maybe we can catch up sometime? i’d love to hear about everything you’ve been up to.”

ian hesitated, the words catching in his throat. “yeah, maybe. we’ll see.”

her smile hesitates just slightly, but she nodded. “okay. well, don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“sure,” ian said, his voice quieter than he intended.

she seems to say or do something more, but nothing else happens. as (y/n) turned to leave, ian stood frozen, watching her go. every part of him wanted to stop her, to say something—anything— that would keep her there a little longer. but the knot in his chest kept him silent, and he could only watch as she disappeared into the parking lot.

he let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. this wasn’t going to be easy. for years, he’d convinced himself he could bury his feelings and move on, but now, with her back in his life, he wasn’t sure how long he could keep pretending.

tomorrow, he told himself. tomorrow, he’ll figure out how to handle this.

deep down, ian knew that with (y/n) padilla, nothing would ever be that simple.

[chaosduckies]

Could we get a part 2 of Birds of a Feather?

Oh yeah of course! Can never have too much parental g/t! Decided to have a sick tiny because why not? (Also fluff) so I hope you like it! And I’m so sorry that it took so long to answer- I re-wrote this too many times to count but figured this was the best one!

Word Count: 3.6k

Cw: None!

Birds of a Feather (2)

It had only been a week since Gabriel found out about Lizzie and I. I would say that it’s been interesting. Lizzie goes out more often, and it seems like the house isn’t as quiet anymore. It did kind of help with the anxiety a little bit. I never really liked the silence. Just meant that I couldn’t tell where humans would be.

Now? When Gabriel is home Lizzie always tries to bother him with questions and if she could be held or picked up. She was still just a kid but I didn’t trust Gabriel. That’s why anytime he gave us food I still checked it for poison even though some part of me doubted that he would poison us. What were the chances of that ever happening? I also will never let him hold me. Never. Not even touch me. I always just ran away, hid, or grabbed my needle as fast as I could. That didn’t mean he stopped trying or asking, though he did say he would respect my personal space. It’s just… how was I supposed to trust a human after hiding from them my entire life? It didn’t seem easy to just blindly trust one after all of this time. Sure, he gives us food and all of that, but that doesn’t mean I’d just put my life in his hands! Literally! 

Today was a snowy day. It was cold in the house, meaning that the walls were even colder. Normally I would have just borrowed some cloth, but since Gabriel knew about us I couldn’t do that. I was too afraid he’d just be mad. There was no telling what he would do to me! I shuddered just at the thought. As long as it’s not my sister…

Lizzie couldn’t wait for Gabriel to wake up so she could go with him. She always tried to convince me to get out. To really do anything now that we were free to walk around without the fear of being noticed, but again, she didn’t know how terrifying it was to now be out in the open. How could she know? She was too young to ever go out borrowing so she didn’t know how scary it was. Though I should probably teach her sometime soon. Not today though. I felt sick all over. My head felt hot, I was coughing, my body felt weak, I could barely keep my eyes open. I haven’t been this sick in a few years. 

I still forced myself to go out and borrow a few things. Like at least try to get a few more “blankets” for us. Lizzie said she would ask but I told her no. I can take care of us on my own. I don’t need help from a human. Even if it hurts just to move. 

Lizzie hadn’t caught on that I was sick, or at least I think she hasn’t, which was good because then she would’ve definitely told Gabriel. The last thing I needed was for him to find out. Who knows what he might do? He might take his chance to finally kill me, or even just get rid of the both of us now that I could barely move. Not like he could do that already though. 

I cautiously watched as Lizzie ran over to the living room, where Gabriel was. Lizzie never seemed to be scared for some reason. What goes through her mind when she’s “playing” with him? Gabriel too! I was surprised that he hasn’t hurt her. Not even once. The entire situation was strange to me, but as I watched from afar, I kind of found myself wanting the same attention that Lizzie had. Gabriel actually seemed happy that she came to keep him company instead of annoyed. Every story I heard with humans always ended up with us dying, but this? It was entirely new. Even if Gabriel seemed like a murderer and was so intimidating, he hadn’t done anything to hurt either of us. It was so much more different here, and I had no idea why Gabriel was different, not that I was complaining. It actually made my borrowing trips easier. He left cabinets slightly open for me, left food out in case whatever he gave us wasn’t enough, or if we didn’t like it. Everything was so much easier, but I didn’t want to entirely rely on him for help. I can take care of both of us. I have been for a while now so what’s a few more years? 

I gripped the hook in my hand, weakly limping over to the side of the counter. I was craving crackers for some odd reason, and there was no way in heck that I was going to ask Gabriel to get me it. No matter how sick and weak I felt. I threw my hook up onto the side of the counter, my muscles already feeling strained. I know you’re supposed to rest when you’re sick, but I couldn't. I have my sister to care for and right now my main focus is getting something to keep her warm and maybe those crackers that I was craving. She was already complaining last night that it was cold and I couldn’t do anything about it at the time. 

With a few tugs to make sure that it was secure, I started climbing, my muscles straining under the pressure and my head spinning a little bit. When I reached the top, I took a few seconds to catch my breath. I rested a hand over my burning forehead. Of course I had a fever. A bad one by the looks of it. My eyes didn’t even want to stay open anymore. I didn’t know how I would get back down, but I’ll figure it out when I get there. 

I sniffled, rubbing my eyes before walking around the counter in search of an unused piece of cloth or just something until I could find an actual blanket. I would kill for a nap right now, but maybe whenever I get back. That seemed like the safer decision. This sickness will pass eventually. I just felt absolutely horrible right now. 

There wasn’t much to be offered on the counter today. Except for the extremely tempting crackers that were sitting in a basket like usual. Since Gabriel was home, I had to be extra quiet, but I could already tell that the plastic would give me a hard time. Just another borrowing trip… it’s not like you haven’t borrowed from him before. Of course I did get caught and the events that happened afterwards left me in complete shock, but that wouldn’t happen again. Hopefully. Maybe. 

I trudged over to the basket, struggling to pull one that was hanging off the side. I looked over to see that Gabriel was still busy entertaining my sister. I should have plenty of time to get this, right? Obviously he would know that it was me who stole it but I just had to keep thinking that he wouldn’t do anything to me. I mean, he probably does care about Lizzie more than me. Since she actually spends time with him… But I just can’t see how. He’s not our parent, and I couldn’t just accept the fact that he’s actually helping us. There has to be some trick right? He’s just building up to gain our trust and make our lives more miserable. Well I wasn’t going to let that happen. 

As I started to take out some pieces, feeling selfish for not being able to find something for Lizzie but I was hungry. I didn’t bother to eat last night since I had already felt bad before this morning, but I wasn’t expecting to feel so weak and sick when I woke up. I just sighed, coughing a little bit before sitting down and still struggling to take out a piece of the peanut butter crackers I usually don’t like to eat. 

Suddenly I heard someone getting up, and out of my instincts, I hurried to take out a piece and hid behind the basket, clutching the cracker to my chest and having trouble breathing. My head already felt dizzy and my arms weak but I could get out of this just fine, right? I could barely keep myself on my feet for any longer but it was only a few more minutes until I could go home. I could just use my hook to.. My hook. Where was it? I glanced back at where I came from and there it was, still hanging on the side of the counter. Panic surged through me as I stepped to go and grab it, but it was already too late. 

A shadow loomed overhead, observing my hook and turning directly towards the crackers I was stealing. He was going to get so mad at me. I was going to die. Where was Lizzie then if he was coming over here? I hadn’t heard for a while. Did he already… No. He wouldn’t, right? There was no way. I winced at the thoughts, struggling to stay as quiet as possible. 

“...Andrew? Is that you little guy?” I didn’t even have enough energy to be angry at the new nickname. But I was more mortified by the fact that he already knew it was me. Of course he did. I was the only one who could’ve been climbing up here if he was with Lizzie, not that she even knew how to climb yet. 

I sucked in a shaky breath, almost tripping over my own two feet when I came out of my hiding spot. I had no idea what he would do if I didn’t listen. I was trembling and tried to hide it but of course I did a terrible job at that. I looked down at my hands, quickly hiding the piece of food that I stole behind my back. I closed my eyes shut and hung my head in hopes that he wouldn’t hurt me. That all he would do is take my food away. I’d just have to try and find something else to eat then, but the fear crept slowly throughout my body. 

“Are you okay? You look sick, kid.”  He asked concernedly to my surprise, not even acknowledging the fact that I was very obviously borrowing things from him. I didn’t feel okay actually. Everything in my body just felt off. I could think straight but not at the same time? I somehow felt cold and hot all over and had coughing fits every now and then. I don’t think that’s okay but there was no way I’d be admitting that. 

I nodded my head, getting a little light-headed from the simple movement. He quirked an eyebrow up like he didn’t believe me and sighed, leaning against the counter. I took a few shaky steps back, eyes wide and ready for whatever punishment I was about to receive, “So you’re up here taking my food again?” A slight smile on his face but I just jumped and held out the piece I was hiding, “I-I’ll put it b-back. I’m sorry.” I apologized. 

I had expected him to say yes to putting it back, but to my shock he just shook his head, “No, you can have the entire thing if you want.” He started, moving the package closer to me. I flinched a little, cursing myself for showing that I was scared. Of course he already knew that though with how I reacted to him noticing that I was taking some food. Nothing would happen though, right? He’d just leave me alone now and go back to my sister, right? Just grab whatever he needed from here, and leave me the heck alone. I was practically pleading for that outcome at this point. 

Gabriel studied me for a bit longer, a suspicious look on his face, “Are you lying about not being sick kid?” He asked again. Could I even lie to a person like him? If I said yes, who knows what would happen? It was hard to tell if it would be a good or bad outcome. I couldn’t tell. I sucked in a sharp breath, nearly coughing from the air hitting the back of my throat. If I said no he’d just keep asking, but all I’d have to do was escape by then, right? I would feel better in a few days anyways. Maybe. 

 I shook my head, trying to calm my racing heart as he lifted himself off of his arms. I nervously started messing with my hands, trying not to show him just how terrifying he was looming over me. Everything just seemed so much more terrifying when you’re sick for some reason. I felt smaller, more insecure, vulnerable under his gaze. 

“You’re a terrible liar.” He sighed, hand slowly reaching for me. I didn’t even register that he was going to grab me before his fingers were nearly halfway wrapped around my skinny frame. I scrambled backwards, tripping over my own two hands several times while trying to grab my needle, but of course I forgot to grab it before I went borrowing. Great going me! Before I could get up and run, I was picked up in a fist. I kicked and pushed at the fingers, struggling so much and already feeling tired after just a tiny bit. I hate being sick. I was too weak to get myself out of this situation, I forgot my only weapon, and the worst part about this is that I quite literally sank into the warmth his hand provided. I mean, this was just because I was sick, right? I wouldn’t have done this if I were in my right mind. No way. I would’ve fought back and climbed back down to the safety of my cold… lonely home. 

I pushed and kicked as much as I could, trying my hardest not to stay comfy even though my eyes felt so heavy and my body was warmed up within seconds, “Let me go!” Tears started forming in my eyes, trying not to think about what could happen to me. Before I could kick away his fingers one last time, his thumb gently, yet firmly, was placed over my face. That’s all it took. Just one simple movement. I could be dead right now. I started crying softly, barely hearing the words that came out of his mouth, “Calm down little guy. You’re gonna make yourself even more sick.” And I obeyed. He practically already threatened me, and it’s not like I could speak either. I hated the new nickname, I hated being this helpless, and I hated just how much I wanted him to keep me in his hands so I could be warm. No! That’s so stupid. Why would I want that? It’s just the sickness talking… 

Soon enough we were moving, his thumb moved away from my face as I stared up at him with wide eyes, red and puffy from the tears that were still falling. I tried to wipe them away as much as I could until I felt myself being moved. I was no longer in a fist and I wasn’t moving anymore. I staggered backwards as much as I could before hitting his fingers and flinching, covering my head with my arms, “I-I’m s-s-sorry.” My voice barely came out as a whisper, and I doubt Gabriel even heard it. 

“Kid, I'm just trying to help you feel better. Here.” He handed me one of the crackers I was going to eat. I looked up, feeling a little too weak after all of that adrenaline to even move. It felt like my head was throbbing and my muscles screamed to stop moving. And honestly, after all of this, I wasn’t even hungry anymore despite the fact that I haven’t eaten for some time. I shook my head, getting light headed once again. Everything in my body begged me to just lay down and close my eyes, but there was no way that I would be doing that. I’m not trusting him even for one bit. Lizzie might- Wait. Lizzie? 

My eyes searched frantically for her, the extra adrenaline making it possible to move my limbs again as I looked over his hand, spotting her lying underneath a piece of cloth and asleep. She… fell asleep? Around him? Did she really trust him that much? Well, I guess it made sense. She’s spent more time with him than I have, but I still think that all of this is just a trick… Oh who am I kidding? He’s genuinely a nice person. I’m so sick and tired of always being on edge and barely being able to stay alive. I’m tired of struggling just to get basic living needs. Gabriel was offering all of that and so much more and I can’t just accept the fact that he’s just trying to help, no matter how afraid I was, I think I would just have to trust him in this. That none of this was a trick and that he’s genuinely trying to help us stay alive. 

“You have to eat something. You’re not going to get better otherwise.” He gestured to the food again. I shook my head again, wincing and holding my head from the throbbing pain. I nearly fell over hadn’t his fingers been there to support me. His eyes softened, slowly bringing me closer to him, but at this point I could care less. I felt so much worse than before even climbing up onto the countertop. To know all of this would happen in just one week. Getting found, then getting sick and being forced to be taken care of by a human. I didn’t even have enough energy to care anymore. 

“Okay, I’ll be right back, stay there.” He ordered before tilting his hand slowly onto the couch. I let out a yelp of surprise before hitting the cushiony surface right next to Lizzie. Stay here? Where was he going? Was he going to leave me alone? Just abandon me? I couldn’t stop the tears that formed. What did I care if he left me? I would be just fine on my own… Right? I could barely even move my limbs anymore from thinking I could just go borrow with barely any problems. Turns out all I ended up facing were problems. I didn’t want to be left alone either.

I turned back to my sister, wiping away the loose tears as I heard Gabriel coming back. For some odd reason I was actually happy that he came back, though I couldn’t help but struggle to move myself backwards. He just stared at me a little shocked, “I had really expected you to try and escape.” He sighed, slowly sitting back down and moving something in his hands. It looked to be some sort of cloth, though what could he need it for? 

“Well here, if you’re not going to eat then you could get some rest. I’m sure you're exhausted if you can barely even hold yourself up.” He dumped the cloth in front of me. For… me? I cautiously reached out, pulling the soft piece towards me. So warm… I snuggled close, but didn’t lay down. I could stay up… I didn’t need sleep. I needed to go home and rest. Even if it would  be so much colder there than staying out here. 

Gabriel sighed, his hands covering his face like he was frustrated with me, “If you needed help why not come to me?” I scrambled backwards, pulling the cloth over my entire body. Was he mad at me for it? Was he going to hurt me because I didn’t ask for help? My chest tightened at the thoughts, closing my eyes shut as I waited to be lifted off from the ground in one sweep, but when it didn’t come I sheepishly peeked my head out. 

“I didn’t mean to sound so angry, I promise I’m not,” He started, sighing, “Listen, you’re what? Thirteen, fourteen? You’re just a kid. You should be having fun and playing with your little sister. Not struggling to survive and get food everyday.” His eyes softened, turning towards me. I bit the bottom of my lip. But how else was I supposed to live? My sister and I would’ve died countless times had I not been the one struggling. Heck, there were even times when I thought I wouldn’t make it. Getting caught in a spider web, nearly getting trapped in a rat trap, tangled on my rope. I had to grow up if I was going to live. It’s not like I wanted to. 

“I-I had to if I was going to live. I d-didn’t want to die.” I looked down, hoping that he would get it. I wonder what life would’ve been like if our parents hadn’t died. They would’ve taught me so many more things before I was so abruptly forced to go borrowing. I could’ve still been a kid, maybe just barely moving out, but at least I’d know what I was doing! I’m terrible at borrowing! 

Gabriel nodded his head, “That’s understandable,” He turned his head and smiled down at me, “Now just get some rest. I’ll take care of you and your sister, don’t worry about it.” I nodded my head, wrapping the blanket even more around me as I coughed, groaning from how scratchy my throat felt. I forced myself to lay down, wincing from the simple movements. 

I really didn’t have any other choice. I was too tired to stay awake, too weak to move, too sick to do anything but hope that I was trusting the right person. He would take care of us. I wouldn’t have to fight for survival anymore. I could actually be happy again. That was all I could really ask for.  ——————

I had a lot of fun writing this and I’m hoping to get back to writing my main stories soon! Since I will be having a break soon and can finally edit all the things I’ve written-

I have no idea if I’ll be doing a part 3, but if you want one please let me know! Thank you for the ask anon!

Taglist: @da3dm

If you would like to be added please let me know!

[satisfactionlevel]

⚡️west end year 8 (11/01/25):

I saw the cursed child london year 8 cast again today and made some ridiculously long notes, mainly about scorbus (because i’m obsessed)🆘 i noticed many little things I didn’t see before, so I thought I’d write them down before I forget them!

⚡️act 1:

so much finger twiddling from albus right from the beginning, i love it!

harry and ginny side hugs at the platform were so cute, they were still in so much wonder about their surroundings, it’s like they’re seeing platform 9 3/4 for the first time✨

when ron was doing the whole nose trick with lily jr, ginny gives albus a shoulder squeeze as albus was looking nervous. ginny just gets albus:)

when albus told rose he’s staying in scorp’s compartment, scorp did a fleeting slight smile. he looked like he didn’t believe it 

scorp whispering “slytherin please” during sorting ceremony 

bread scene, albus looked at scorp and puffed his cheeks, like wtf are you doing, and then looked down lol

after scorp said “come to the funeral and be my good friend” albus reached out his arm like he was going to hug scorpius 

they just in general made so much eye contact in moments of uncertainty to assure each other, it’s just the cutest! 

someone sitting behind me gasped when harry he wished albus weren’t his son😭this scene destroys me every time ugh

when scorp tried to climb up the train albus gave him double thumbs up, but scorp failed to get to the top

THEY WERE SO PROTECTIVE OVER EACH OTHER IN THE AMOS SCENE omg 

and when amos said about “undersized teenagers”, scorpius seemed to suddenly be very self conscious about his body, and awkwardly adjusted his tie lol

when amos said “malfoy maybe a voldemort” scorp was hurt and he looked at albus, albus gave him a little smile of reassurance💕

scorpius/harry was screaming, he spat at albus/ron’s face accidentally, and albus/ron wipes his face with his sleeves💀

albus/ron accidentally threw his robe right at his own face after kissing hermione, he was so grossed out. 

⚡️act 2:

scorpius was JEALOUS AF  in the forest💀when delphi was standing between him and albus, blocking scorpius view of albus, he leans to the side and waves at albus. I CANNOT HE’S SO REAL WTF

edge of forest scene when scorp said he checked the daily prophet every day, albus did a tiny smirk. OH GOD HE’S SO OBSESSED WITH SCORPIUS

scrorbus cheering in a weird way because of course they do, they’re scorbus. and after the second cheer, albus mouthed “that’s better” to scorpius 

harry stroking albus’s injured arm in the hospital🥹

staircase ballet was perfect as always. and madame hooch looked so worried about scorpius:( 

staircase scene with scorpius and delphi , after delphi told him “you two belong together” and asked scorpius to find albus, he walked off with a grin and kept doing air fist pumps lol

when they got shushed by the teacher in the library scorpius picked up the book and pointed at it, nodding and pretending to have understood something

library scene monologue. scorpius’s crying and albus’s pained face twitches 😭they were both so broken and vulnerable:(

after they used invisibility cloak, scorpius sat on the chair, hugging himself (kind of) into the tiniest little ball like he wanted to make himself disappear from all the hurt. he didn’t took at albus for a long time. 

scorpius’s little smile when albus said you’re kind to your finger tips (my boy is so precious I wanna die, he need to be protected af all cost)

when they hugged, albus’s face squeezed/crunched up his face with his eyes closed, like he’s in so much pain and regret, but also so relieved. I think he really wanted to feel that moment. 

albus’s cute little laugh after scorpius said consider me engorg-impressed! they’re literally just perfect for each other ughh

I LAUGHED SO MUCH at this: when myrtle said she’s got a soft spot for the potters, albus awkwardly waved at her, and when she said she’s impartial to a malfoy, scorpius looked so scared and tucked in his robe to cover up his chest, like he just got violated by myrtle💀

when scorp emerged cheering from the lake and didn’t see albus, he called albus in a low-pitch,  playful way while laughing, but then immediately became so concerned when albus still didn’t respond😭and his calls became panicked

⚡️act 3:

in draco’s office, droco did the “for voldemort and valour” sign very slowly with a slow voice, he probably heard talks about scorpius doing it in weird ways, and was trying to teach him💀

scorpius’s bent knee bowing to snaps is funny af, he’s fangirlling for real

noticed how the dementor IMMEDIATELY went away after scorpius said albus😭that’s how strong his love for albus is, I literally can’t breathe

again in the lake when scorp hugged albus, albus genuinely looked so happy! my boy loves physical affection, he did a little chuckle too 

also when scorpius screamed harry, albus looked so shocked and confused lol

when McGonagall said about expelling them albus looked immediately at scorpius:(

dorm scene, albus chuckled so much when scorpius was going on about “scorpius the dread-less, malfoy the unanxious”.

when scorpius sat on albus’s bed, albus turned his body towards scorpius, then for a moment, he looked down at their hands on the bed, it’s like he was thinking where to put his hands😭 

rose and gang overhearing the conversation about the alternative reality. rose was upset, james, sitting behind rose, put a hand on her shoulders. james kept fidgeting as if trying to figure out what else he can do to comfort rose. so good to see the sensitive side of james 

i cry at the rose and hermione hug every time 

today it stood out to me about how much fun they genuinely have with each other! and now they make each other laugh all the time!

especially when they were planning different charms to destroy the time turner. they are goofy and make each other laugh so much:)

scorpius looked like he was in disbelief when delphi said albus’s weakness is love. (bruh just believe it☠️)

when delphi put her wand on albus, scorpius tried so hard to stand up from the floor to go to albus, even though he literally just suffered the cruciatus curse moments ago

⚡️act 4:

I cried when Craig died he’s such a cinnamon bun 

also the albus’s finger twiddling kind of got replaced at times by him tucking his hair in this act.

also albus being a geek and being excited about mathilda bagshot. he’s not beating the secret dork allegations 

in godric’s hollow, when scorpius was telling albus about his plan, albus was actually so serious in the beginning, until scorpius said “scream to the baby”, albus muttered “baby??” to himself and frowned lol

ben’s draco is so soft and smiley, v different from steve’s version! he smiled at ron after ron said “you’ve got nice hair”💀

also ben’s draco smiled when he noticed the farmers market. I can just picture draco cooking for scorpius and astoria aaaahh👨🏼‍🌾

the scene where albus was asleep on the church bench made me cry. ginny understands albus so deeply. she’s just the best. I love ginny. 

i swear albus and scorpius’s hands were touching when they sat on the church bench 

scorpius looked in awe and gave double thumbs up to hermione after they answered albus’s history question at the same time. hermione looked so proud of scorpius, it’s honestly so cute. 

rose asked “you good albus”, albus looked at scorpius, then looked at rose, smiled and nodded, and looked at scorpius again. JUST TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY GOD

and the last scene was perfect.💕

(also this is today’s cast board, everyone was so incredible!)(and it was benjamin stratton as draco, the board wasn’t updated when I took the photo)

[movedtodykedvonte]

Betty was, is, impulsive. That’s something we need to take away from this last episode.

Betty took the small in Simon gave her and gave up everything, on her own volition. She jump straight into the stream and rain through snakes! Betty takes risks and is intense. She took a chance in leaving a confession letter in a book Simon may have never checked out!

I just think it’s important because it’s not like Betty just dropped everything for Simon. She was infatuated and wanted to be with him even if she had a brighter horizon before her. It explains why she was so into curing him and willing to destroy a world for him. She was in deep by her own design and it’s fun knowing she really is the nuttier one of the two.

She wanted him to be her world and only towards the end when she sacrificed herself to save the world did she realize that mindset wasn’t healthy for either of them.

[chuluoyi]

𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑

- xavier x reader

a new friendly colleague has joined your team, but your boyfriend is convinced he is up to no good... and that's why xavier is determined to show it that you are his

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—jealousy, fluff explicit smut: slightly rough sex, fingering, doggy style, based on xavier's card misty silhouette

note: skxmskcjsf bye don't look at me. this fanart and xavier's card messed me up :') this banner is so unhealthy for me i swear </3

Xavier knew he wasn’t the most patient person.

But even patience, he thought, has limits. And he had been patient and reasonable for a week, to be precise.

It all started ever since that damned new recruit entered his team. He didn't know why, but he kept coming to you for everything—directions, advice, even trivial nonsense like lunch recommendations. It was almost as if on purpose.

This afternoon was no different. Xavier had been looking forward to having lunch with you—just the two of you. You’d promised him, after all.

And yet—

“There was this one time I got trapped inside the N109 Zone—”

“N109 Zone!?”

“Yes!”

“Really?! What did you do then?”

“Hmm, so at first, I was in total panic, but then—”

For the past 15 minutes, your lunch break had been taken over by recounting your tales of valor as a hunter to the new recruit. Nearby, Xavier sat in brooding silence, scathingly sparing him a glance. The slight frown on his face said it all—blatant disinterest and a touch of irritation.

And you too... why are you engaging him so enthusiastically?

Then again, given his age, Xavier knew he had to be mature about this. He tried, really. If it had been someone like Jeremiah, he might have let it slide.

But there was just something about this new recruit—Sean, was it?—that rubbed him the wrong way.

“Whoa, you're so cool, Miss Y/N!” Sean exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with admiration. “Not only are you pretty and talented, but you're also incredibly skilled! What do you even lack, eh?”

“Really, it's not that much,” you giggled, brushing him off. The way you got sheepish only made Xavier’s annoyance flare even further.

“Let me guess— a boyfriend!”

So that’s what it was. Now Xavier understood what about Sean that set him off. The entire time you’d been talking, he had been giving you those googly eyes.

He didn't like it one bit. He looked ridiculous while doing it.

Despite being silent as a mouse all the way, before he could stop himself, he blurted, “She has a boyfriend already.”

You turned to him in surprise, clearly not expecting him to announce it so bluntly.

“Oh...? Xavier, you know who her boyfriend is...?” Sean turned to him with curiosity.

He noticed it. How his expression fell ever so slightly upon he told him that you were already taken. Xavier huffed and stuffed his mouth with his ramen.

“Yeah. Her boyfriend lives next door.”

Technically, he lived upstairs, but the detail didn’t matter. He just needed to make his point known.

And somehow, for the rest of the day, the new recruit finally seemed to develop some sense—at least enough to stop hovering around you so frequently. Particularly when Xavier was nearby.

“Xavier... why did you tell him that?”

You fell into step beside your quiet boyfriend as the two of you headed home that evening, tilting your head as you replayed the events of the afternoon.

Xavier gave you a brief glance before looking straight ahead again, ignoring your question.

You observed him. There it was again—that gray cloud hovering over him. It always seemed to appear when he was in a bad mood.

Puckering your lips, you pressed further. “We haven’t even told anybody else about our relationship... And what you did there—you’re literally telling him we’re dating.”

“So what?” he shot back, his tone sharper than usual. “Are you afraid people might find out we are? Or—”

Xavier abruptly stopped in his tracks, turning to face you. His usually vibrant blue eyes darkened, piercing into yours with a sharp gleam. “Are you afraid he will find out?”

There was something in his gaze that held you captive—that made your silly heart skip a beat.

“N-no...” you looked away, swallowing the heat that were about to take over your face. Why does Xavier look kind of... hot like that...?

Your cheeks warmed regardless, but you had to appease him. “Like I told you before, I just thought it’d be easier if this stays our little secret. It’s less of a bother if they don’t know…”

Reaching for his hand, you gave it a reassuring squeeze and flashed him a soft smile. “Besides, why would I be afraid if he knows? My boyfriend is cool, handsome, and the best hunter there is.”

You watched as Xavier's expression softened, the tension melting away. A faint blush crept up his cheeks too, and the gray cloud that had loomed over him finally disappeared. He squeezed your hand in return, looking away as if to hide the way he got bashful.

Adorable. For all his brooding, your boyfriend was surprisingly easy to soothe.

For the rest of the walk back to your apartment, you two remained hand-in-hand, the tension of the afternoon slipping away with each step.

. . .

You were staying over at Xavier's place tonight. After a relaxing bath and a hearty dinner, the two of you found yourselves standing side by side in the kitchen, doing the dishes together.

It was mundane things like this that Xavier considered his favorite routine to do with you. Just as you handed him the last plate to dry, you spoke up, your voice breaking the quiet hum of contentment—

“Xavier, can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“I was just thinking... Sean seems nice and friendly, but from what I’ve seen, you seem kind of... unwelcoming— almost hostile even towards him.”

At your words, a frown etched itself onto Xavier’s forehead as he turned to face you fully. You seemed so oblivious, standing there with a look of genuine curiosity.

“Do you really not know?” he questioned you incredulously.

You blinked. “Know what?”

Damn it. Xavier sighed and put down the dish he was holding, but the words faltered on his tongue as a sour expression crossed his face. “No matter,” he muttered under his breath.

He took a deliberate step closer, his movements slow and heavy, and you instinctively backed away—

“So,” he said, his voice low, his blue eyes boring into yours as he took one hot step forward after another, “while Sean is nice and friendly, I’m hostile and unwelcoming, huh?”

—only to find yourself pressed against the window, unable to retreat further.

He stood in front of you now, his arms caging you in, creating a barrier that sealed off any chance of escape.

Uh-oh. Apparently, you had flipped that switch—

The air between you grew thick, and you could feel your pulse quicken under the weight of his gaze. “That’s not what I'm getting at—”

“He’s been eyeing you all day, following you around... getting lunches with you—”

In that moment, your phone erupted to life, its ringtone cutting through the tension. It sat on the small table near the windowsill, and Xavier gave it a quick glance, his expression darkening upon seeing Sean's name flash on the screen.

“Oh?” His voice dropped lower, a dangerous glint flickering in his eyes. “He’s now calling you at nights too?”

“No!” you quickly refuted, your words tumbling out almost too fast. “Xavier, don’t get the wrong idea—”

He tilted your jaw to face him, holding your spooked gaze. “Then what idea am I supposed to be getting when he’s so blatantly pursuing you and you don't even do anything about it?”

The plot twist is... you know. Of course you knew it when a guy was trying to make a move on you, you just pretended not to notice it because it was easier that way. You didn’t know which devil had planted this rotten idea in your head that made you want to push Xavier to the edge, just to see how he'd react when he held nothing back—

The call tonight was a coincidence though, but definitely fueled your lover's ire even more. It was a dangerous game, but now that you’d crossed this line, you couldn't go back any longer.

Your lips curled into a bewitching smile then, and your boyfriend was almost mystified. "So, what will you do to me?"

Xavier looked at you with slightly widened eyes, not expecting your boldness at all. But then he grimaced, as at the same time, the irritation in his veins suddenly flared up—

With a swift, fluid motion, he turned you that you faced the window, his right arm wrapping around your waist from behind as he pressed his body against yours—his hardness pressing, almost poking you.

“You’re so clueless,” he growled into your ear before going after your neck, sucking hard and fast. His hips began to grind against you, pressing harder with each movement. “Too damn clueless...!”

His fingers that gripped your belly moved then, slipping inside your frisky nightgown to finger you— and you lost all your wits in that instant. “Ah-h—!”

Two of his fingers pumped in and out of you, dragging them almost rashly, and it took everything in you to stay upright. "X-Xavier!"

“Mmph,” he breathed against the skin of your neck, his other arm pressing you against him tighter, simultaneously squeezing your breasts. "You asked for it."

Your thighs were trembling in no time, and your breaths came in shaky moans. Your boyfriend was not exactly gentle, but this is probably the first time in a while that he was being rough without reservations. While you wanted to protest, it felt too good—

He turned your face towards him then, crashing his lips on yours.

It almost felt like you were punished, but you couldn't do anything about it. The tension in your lower belly was steadily building, ready to snap at any moment, and the way his fingers relentlessly hitting that one unforgivable spot was starting to made you dizzy.

"Ah—ngh!" You finally shuddered when you reached your climax. It was freeing when you felt yourself burst on his fingers, the release smearing your thighs.

And right then your knees buckled—

But Xavier immediately got a secure hold over you, lifting your body effortlessly into his arms, one hand supporting your knees, the other cradling your back. Through your teary eyes, you met his gaze once more. His expression was unreadable, a dark haze of disapproval clouding his features.

“I’m not done yet.”

He brought you over to his bed, gently lying you down despite the roughness of his voice. He parted your legs, getting himself between them—

Ring! Ring!

The shrill sound of your phone pierced the coolness of the room, and you almost jolted.

But your lover... the sound was like a spell to him, only intensifying his irritation as his features twisted with frustration, and you knew that he was about to take it on you.

As if changing his mind, Xavier suddenly flipped you over that you laid on your stomach and straddled you from behind. He quickly turned your head to face him and claimed your lips in a deep, urgent kiss.

“Mm, hmmp—!” The ringtone of your phone blared in the background, a jarring sound that wasn't pleasant at the slightest. It wasn’t until it finally stopped that he pulled away from the kiss.

You were gasping for breath, your chest heaving, and a stray tear slipped from your eyes. Xavier stared at you, and gently wiped it away with his thumb.

Flushed, sweaty, tearful... you looked so enchanting in his eyes in that moment. He almost felt bad that he had manhandled you this roughly.

Almost.

His hands gripped your waist, and he paused, his gaze locked with yours, silently seeking your approval— or more like, commanding you to give it to him.

In response, you arched your back— a silent affirmation, bracing yourself.

From then on, he was no longer holding back. He tugged your panties down and let his throbbing member out of his pants. It was laughable how insatiable he was— both of you were still clothed, save for his unbuttoned shirt, but he was already this aroused and hard.

He nudged forward, his tip breaching your entrance. The feeling of that familiar stretch left you keeling, babbles and whimpers falling from your lips as he slowly eased into you.

It was hard to take him in fully, and you were a mess of breathy gasps the moment you did. But you were in for the main ride when he started ramming into you, pushing in and out of you in a merciless pace.

"Ah... Xavier!" you panted between thrusts, feeling how it started to be too much for you the more he went on. "Ahh, hrah!"

Behind you, Xavier groaned in reply, his lips sucking your shoulder as his hips quickened, striving to bring you to the peak faster. One of his large hands dug into the skin of your stomach, urging your back to arch more, while the other clasped yours, fingers entwined in the sheets.

He watched intently as your face twisted and contorted in ecstasy, a surge of pride swelling within him, greater than he thought possible.

It was mind-blowing, slightly forceful, and your senses were all heightened. The harsh pace drew cries from your lips, your tears falling to the sheets, yet the pleasure also catapulted you into the stars—

The sinful delight of having him so deep within you.

The sinful rapture of being thrusted over and over.

“Ahhh!” And then, all at once, it was as if heaven and hell collided in a cataclysmic burst. Everything inside you shattered as you cried out—a scream morphing into a high-pitched gasp—as the two of you reached the climax together. Your body trembled uncontrollably, your walls clasped around him impossibly tight as Xavier filled you with everything that he had in one shot.

You collapsed against the sheets like a ragdoll, the pressure finally easing from your sore spine.

“Hello? Yes, it’s Xavier...”

The morning after. You stirred awake, your mind still foggy with sleep, as muffled voices filtered in from outside the bedroom.

“I have to take an urgent leave today...”

You were still utterly drained, your body heavy and unwilling to move. Instinctively, your hand reached out to your side, searching for your lover, but the spot was empty.

“Yes. Y/N too. She isn’t well today... We will be back tomorrow...”

You let out a soft, tired whine, your voice plaintive, as you lay sprawled across the bed, wishing for his warmth to return. Honestly, everything was still sore, and you were this close to tears again.

The door then opened with a creak not long after, and you let out a whimper, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Are you awake...?” Xavier's voice was soft, almost hesitant, as he stepped closer to the bed.

You blinked up at him, your vision still blurry. He was already dressed, his crisp appearance in stark contrast to your disheveled state. In his hand, he held a small plastic bag.

“What’s that...?” you mumbled, your voice hoarse as you struggled to prop yourself up, curiosity flickering through your tired gaze.

“Don’t get up too quickly,” Xavier murmured, his hands steady as he caught you mid-movement. He guided you back down and tucked the blankets snugly around you, his touch gentle yet firm. “Just rest for now.”

A low hum of contentment escaped you as you leaned into his touch. Your bleary eyes focused solely on him, and despite himself, Xavier found a smile tugging at his lips.

“I just went to the drugstore downstairs to get you some painkillers,” he explained, lifting the small plastic bag slightly. “Take them after you’ve had some breakfast later.”

He then fixed you a bashful grimace, looking down. “Sorry for... uh, last night... I think I’ve pushed you too far.”

His fingers reached out, brushing gently against your cheek. The same fingers that had driven you to the brink of madness the night before now so tender against your skin. “You were crying,” he murmured, guilt lacing his voice. “I feel bad.”

“Mm-hm, so that’s what happens when you don’t hold back at all,” you snickered softly, the corners of your mouth curving despite the lingering ache in your body.

Xavier shifted his gaze away, his confidence faltering. “Will you... hate me for it?”

It was hard to contain your smile from breaking out into a grin. Your boyfriend, a ferocious wolf in a sheep’s clothing, had no need for this shy charade when he had railed you that hard last night.

“No, but you’re going to have to make it up to me. I can’t even walk now.”

Xavier blinked before he patted your head. “Yeah, I’ll fulfill any of your wishes,” he sighed in relief, a hint of amusement creeping into his voice. “So, what is it?”

You paused for a moment, then with a mischievous glint in your eye, you said, “Take me to the bathroom? I want to have a shower first.”

And, of course, he obliged. With a effortless motion, Xavier scooped you up into a princess carry, holding you close. His arms cradled you with care, and you rested against his chest, the warmth of his embrace offering a sense of security.

Just like that, you spent the rest of the day as lovers, sleeping in with careless abandon, unburdened by your duties.

Epilogue

Later in the afternoon, you were once again deep in a sleep as Xavier cuddled you close, when suddenly the doorbell of his apartment rang incessantly.

Frowning, Xavier carefully eased himself out of bed, making sure not to disturb your slumber. He moved quietly towards the door, and when he saw the intercom, his frown worsened.

Sean, the newbie, was at his doorstep. He had half a mind to ignore him, but after a beat, he decided to open the door.

“What do you want?” his voice sharp with annoyance.

“Oh, Xavier!” The guy was stunned for a moment as his eyes lingered on Xavier’s chiseled abs, exposed through the his unbuttoned shirt. “O-oh, so... I’ve been trying to ring the doorbell to Y/N's apartment to give her a fruit basket to wish her a fast recovery, but she’s not answering—” he hastily explained, gesturing toward the basket in his hand. “Can you reach her—?”

Xavier felt like popping a vein at how meddlesome this guy was. Was this guy an idiot? Didn’t he realize by now that he was your next-door boyfriend?

Nevermind. The hard way it is.

“She’s with me.”

“H-huh?”

He shot him a pointed look. “Don't think you’ll have a chance with her, newbie.”

And with that, he shut the door in his face.

[allurilove]

Calm Yandere x you

“Your expressionless boyfriend.”

Rated 18 + — mature short content!

Includes: calm yandere x talkative gender neutral reader, mutual pining?, strangers to friends to lovers, cute fluff in the beginning… other stuff later on. wink wink. ♡

Calm yandere was known to be a little cold. His default face is an unamused one, the ends of his lips always downward, and it certainly scared you away from him when you first saw him. He didn’t like to socialize as much as you did, and when you talked to him, he only seemed to nod. “Mhm,” and “uh-huh,” was all you could get from him. He didn’t hate nor dislike you— you’re an absolute perfect specimen, and a normal, and adaptable human being. You were everything he wanted to be. You were everything he wanted, period. He started to form a crush on you, and it was a minuscule one at first. He appreciated how you were able to carry a conversation, how bright and confident you looked compared to him, and you were this bright light in his grim dark reality.

Calm yandere was surprised when you made the first move. You wanted to be friends, and being just friends with you felt like torture. Although, he agreed—not wanting to miss the opportunity to be by your side even more. He followed you around, agreed to show up to all hangouts you planned, and he even invited you to his house. His house was surprisingly warm. He had soft white curtains, light pink decorations here and there, and it smelled like freshly baked cookies. Warm and sweet was what you would describe him now that you got to know him. He was the perfect host. He was showing you around the backyard, and he pointed out a couple of butterflies that liked to come by. His voice was flat and monotonous when he explained his favorite butterflies to you, but you could see a slight glimmer of happiness in his eyes. And most importantly, he showed you his bedroom. He had manga books on his shelves, Smiski figurines, and one of the compartments was just filled with snacks. He had an old dog named “Mini” that was sleeping on his huge bed, loudly snoring, and kicking her feet as she dreamt of running around.

Calm yandere had asked you to be his partner months later. You were shocked when he confessed his feelings for you, and here calm yandere was, thinking that he had done a good job of hinting at it. You did notice the glances he would send your way, and how they would linger a bit longer than before. You then started to think back to the times he would do things for you. He would bend down and tie your shoelaces. He gave you his jacket when it was raining, and he would walk home soaking wet. He carried you on his back when you tripped and hurt your ankle. He let you into his house when you fought with your parents, and tried his damn hardest to crack a worried expression on his stone-like face. It wasn’t like you weren’t into him, you tried to give him signals too.

Calm yandere was oblivious, just as you were oblivious. You had literally invited him to every place you could think of. You made pottery with him, and even put your hands on his to help him shape his clay into a vase. That was a very intimate act. An act that made you flustered and blushing when you had pressed your body behind his. Him, on the other hand, didn’t even blink at the action. When you had told him that you found him cute and adorable, he just said “okay.” OKAY?? Clearly that meant he didn’t like you back, and you quickly put on a strained smile and went on with your day.

Calm yandere was an active listener, not really a replier, but a listener. He might look like he was disinterested, but any subject you brought up was the most interesting, and fascinating, topic of all time. You would talk his ear off, and you liked to speak your mind. “So, as I was saying…” you continued. He nodded along, his cheek resting on his hand, and he leaned even closer to play with the strands of your hair. He liked feeling and touching you. It reminded him that you were real, that you were in front of him, and you were officially his. Your lips were perfect, always moving and speaking, and it would form the world’s most beautiful smile. He could tell that some days you didn’t want to hear any solutions from him, and only wanted to have someone to talk too. So, he does exactly what you want.

Calm yandere was happy to advance the relationship even further! He would show finally show some PDA. An arm would casually be slung around your shoulders while you two walked. Whenever you sat next to him, and he didn’t like the distance between you two, he would grab onto the leg of the chair and pulled it in closer. He then would kiss your cheek, and as fast as it came, he had pulled back before you could reciprocate. He knew that being a boyfriend meant that he had to do some certain things… He was feeling bold when he saw you wearing shorts, and without really thinking, his hand reached out to touch at your thighs.

Calm yandere was taken aback by the overwhelming positive reaction. He didn’t imagine that a single brush from his finger tips would cause your brain to go haywire. You had pushed him onto the couch, and he fell back with a little grunt. He saw that you had climbed onto his lap, straddling his hips, and had placed his hand on a sensitive spot of your body. He felt up the flesh, and his fingers slipped underneath your shorts. He kept a watchful eye on your facial expressions, and he hummed in delight when you spread your thighs even further for him. He rubbed his fingers up and down the length of your privates, and he started to collect some of the wet substance that had leaked out. He heard you breathe out his name, and when your voice soon became whiny and you had pleaded for more, he knew you had to be close.

Calm yandere had you on your back. He pulled your shorts down your legs, flinging them to the side after he revealed your lower half to him. He leaned down to greet your sex with his tongue. You were loud and talkative in bed, just as you were out of it. Your back arched, and your hands painfully gripped at his hair. Your body started to tremble, almost trying to squirm its way out from underneath him. His hands had to keep your legs from closing on him, “don’t try to keep me away from you.” your boyfriend said firmly. He then gestured to the growing tent in his pants, “this is all your fault. I’ll make you feel good if you can do the same for me.”

Calm yandere liked to lick his fingers in front of you. His tongue swiping at the salty cum before he fully puts his digits inside his mouth. He could feel the wrinkles and ridges of his pruned fingers, and he gleefully sucked off the excess cum and saliva that had gathered on there. You were lying on the couch with a bit of a daze, your chest rising and falling, and you could still feel his eyes wandering on the work he had done. You had love bites on your neck, trailing down to your inner thighs, and lower towards your ankles. He had bit you down there to keep his voice down while he had himself buried deep inside of you. What could he say? You knew how to press his buttons and drive him wild.

Allure: this is calm yandere after you had called him cute.

Allure: A little update: I’ll work on the master list soon after this, and I’ll have to update a couple of lists such as the yandere kink ones… so that should be done next!

[celestemona]

⋆˙⟡ — FOUR TIMES MUALANI SUSPECTED SOMETHING WAS GOING ON (AND ONE TIME SHE WAS RIGHT)

pairing: kinich x reader

cw: no pronouns mentioned. ajaw is in a vacation. slight but not slight pda. mualani overreacting but she is a sweet. best friends trio. pyro vision reader mentioned. not beta-read.

reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡

Mualani knew Kinich and you were friends—close best friends, just like you two were with her—but lately, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. 

It started with little things, almost too subtle to be noticeable but somehow it didn’t escape from her perception. Things like how Kinich, ever the quiet guy, had begun lingering a little too long when he talked to you, or how you’d run all your way to the Scions of the Canopy's village just to welcome him back after a mission. 

At first, she didn’t pay too much attention thinking you guys were just being more affectionative and caring to each other. However, as time passed by, it has been shown to be more than a mutual friendly appreciation and certainly beyond a mere coincidence. 

I.

The first time Mualani noticed something different was in an early morning by the coast, watching the waves curl and crash. She often started her day stretching at the shore and riding the first waves of dawn. But this time, as she rounded a cliff, she spotted Kinich and you sitting on a rock overlooking the sea. The two of you were close enough that your arms brushed every time the wind picked up.

Kinich’s usual stern expression was softer than usual. Mualani squinted at you suspiciously. Were you... holding hands?

She jogged closer, but just as she got near enough to say something, Kinich quickly stood up, putting a considerable distance between you and himself. “You're up early,” he said, his voice in its usual calm.

You smiled warmly. “Hey girl! How are the waves? We were just discussing about it.”

Mualani tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “You were? Really?”

You let out a light and confusing laugh, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Of course.”

She didn’t quite buy it, but you didn’t give her any reason to push further. “Well, the waves are good today! You guys joining?”

Kinich only gave her a polite headshaking, while you nodded smiling. Maybe she was imagining things.

II.

Except she wasn’t. 

A few days later, you were hanging out by Tequemecan Valley' canyons with Kinich standing quietly while you and Mualani chatted. However, every time she glanced toward him, Kinich seemed to be watching you a little too intently. It wasn’t the usual hunter’s focus; it was softer, caring, almost like... adoring.

The girl squinted, pretending to be interested in some flowers nearby while keeping an eye on you two. You didn’t seem to notice anything, or if did, you didn’t mind. You just kept talking, your laughter filling the air.

When Mualani caught Kinich staring again, she couldn’t help but ask, “Kinich, you okay? You’ve been zoning out all day.”

He blinked, his neutral mask slipping back into place. “I’m fine.”

“He’s just tired from all the training,” you teased, winking at him.

Mualani raised an eyebrow, astonished by the scene before her eyes. Something was definitely going on.

III.

The third time came on a day when Mualani was guiding a group of Sumeru’s travelers near the springs when she spotted you and Kinich again, standing by the water. As she approached, she saw Kinich leaning down to whisper something to you, his lips close to your ear. You giggled softly in response.

Wait a minute... Kinich never whispers to anyone. Much less in such an intimate way and even less to make someone laugh. Mualani's instincts flared up immediately. What was he saying? And why did you look so happy about it?

She cleared her throat loudly as she walked up. “Hey. What are you two whispering about?”

Kinich straightened up quickly, crossing his arms. “Nothing important.”

You smiled at her, but there was a glimmer in your eyes that made the girl even more suspicious. “Just a silly joke,” you said lightly.

A joke, huh? Mualani filed it away in her mind. This time she was very determined to figure out what was going on between you two.

IV.

It was late afternoon, and Mualani had just finished surfing when she saw you two by the waterside. Kinich and you stood close, so close as it has strangely been, and for a brief moment, she could have sworn Kinich was about to lean in and kiss you.

She froze, watching from a distance as you smiled up at him, your palm softly pushing his chest away. Were you two really about to kiss? It couldn’t be just her angle view. Could it be?

But just as quickly as it happened, Kinich stepped back, his usual stoic demeanor falling back into place. You turned and waved at her, your smile as bright as ever.

“Lani. Hey! How was the surf?” you called out.

Mualani, still in shock, shook her head. “Uh... good. Really good.”

She stared at you both for a moment longer, convinced she’d almost witnessed something, but there was no proof. Again.

V.

In the several days that followed, Mualani continued to witness that strangeness that kept repeating itself every time you thought she wasn’t around, creating a certain tension between her and you and Kinich—although she doubted that you had noticed any difference, treating her as you always did from the beginning.

Even if it relieved her to know that nothing had changed in your friendship, the surfer couldn't help but feel upset too. Was it that bad if she found out? Didn't you trust her the same way she trusted you? She wanted to be able to release all of her thoughts and ask you if maybe there was something in your bond that was bothering you. But she didn't. And so, things remained the same.

That was a quiet evening, and the moon hung low over the mountains. Mualani had been taking a stroll, enjoying the peaceful night, when she stumbled upon you.

This time, though, there was no mistaking it—Kinich and you stood together under some trees, locked in a slow, deep kiss.

The girl’s cheeks burned as red as the pyro vision you hold so dear closely, eyes widely opening and heart skipping a beat. She gasped, louder than she intended, and both of you quickly turned toward her. You blinked twice before smiling stiffly, even daring to look a bit embarrassed, while Kinich gave her a calm look, his hands still resting on your waist.

“You two!” She exclaimed shaking her head, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me earlier! I mean, I knew something was up, but really?”

You bit your lip while Kinich just blinked at her, slightly starting to look more guilty as well.

“We didn’t mean to keep it from you for long,” you said as you stepped out of Kinich’s arms and reached for her hand. “We were just... taking our time.”

Mualani arched an eyebrow. “Taking your time? You two were being so weird and annoying with all those suspicious interactions for weeks now! I’m supposed to be your best friend!”

Kinich rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. “We wanted to keep it quiet,” he said, his voice low. “At first, anyway.”

Mualani softened, her fake scold melting away into genuine affection. “Still, I would’ve loved to know sooner,” she said, her tone gentler now. “You know me better than anyone else. You know I would never judge you,” she sighed as she watches the sorrow on your face. “Nevertheless, I’m really happy for you both. Really am.”

You beamed and even Kinich’s usual stoic expression seemed to relax slightly.

Mualani continued, her voice full of warmth. “I’ve always known you two had something special. And now that I know for sure, you better believe I’m fully on board with this!” She shot Kinich a playful look. “Just make sure you treat (Y/N) right, okay?”

Kinich nodded, his eyes softening as he glanced at you. “I will.”

You squeezed Mualani’s hand, your eyes sparkling with gratitude and pure happiness. “Thank you, Lani. Your support means a lot to us.”

Mualani grinned, pulling you both into a tight hug. “Just don’t keep secrets from me again, alright? I’m always here for you two.”

You all laughed but shared a quick but sweet bond moment, the atmosphere light and easy. And somehow, Mualani couldn’t help but feel like everything had fallen into place just the way it was meant to.

“But just for your information. If the day comes of you get engaged and don’t tell me immediately, I’ll crash the proposal myself, make a huge scene, and tell everyone how long I’ve had to put up with your not so secret glances and not so subtle hand-holding. Trust me, it won’t be pretty!”