#it literally hurts no one

[jobsoldbootlace]

���I remember Neil.”  Skarloey mused.  “Ugly fellow, but kind all the same.  Nice, thoughtful, strong…”

“So did you like him or did you ‘like him’, like him?”  asked Duncan, who was tired of Skarloey avoiding the question.

The Little Old Engine blushed.  “Well… I, er, he– I mean, we… um, never had feelings like that per say.”

“Oh really?”  Teased Rheneas.  “I recall you being quite enamored when he called you a ‘Most Handsome Engine’.”

Skarloey’s face turned as red as her paintwork.  “I think I’m late for my train!”  She shouted, and scurried away.

[aphel1on]

nothinggg better than torturing an emotionally repressed character until every single trauma they've ever refused to process starts spilling uncontrollably out of the cracks. like a matryoshka doll situation of repressed trauma and baby you better believe i'm going in there with a hammer

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I cannot wait for this Stan to reconnect with his Ford.

I still haven't figured out HOW exactly they'll meet yet, but I do think that Ford would ATTACH himself to Stanley and talk his ears off forever when they eventually get comfortable :] and Stanley would listen because HOLY SHIT, THAT'S HIS BRO HE HASN'T SEEN FOR 40-ISH YEARS, HE MISSED HIS VOICE. Nonstop certified Yapper & Listener relationship <3

Stanley looks dead faced because of his ingrained poker face, but he's thouroughly enjoying it, even if sometimes he has no idea what the fuck Ford is saying. He never interrupts him though, since he knows people usually ignore or interrupt him mid-talk already. So sometimes Stan gets stuck in awkward situations where he has to leave or do stuff, but also doesn't have it in his heart to stop Ford and extract himself out of a (one-sided) conversation.

[hajihiko]

It runs in the family

[shouyuus]

Imagine Vi when she gets jealous… 🤭

I’ve seen this theory on tiktok saying that Caitlyn would be the jealous type, and Vi would be the more laid back one. But idk…

Caitlyn grew up as an only child, so she was used to getting everything she wanted, and never had to share. But with Vi, she had a sibling and other people to take care of. So she’s used to sharing everything.

But imagine if her s/o were to make her jealous on purpose. I do not think she would take it too lightly 👀

Idk, what do you think?

mmMMmmm yes good for sure let's talk about it; slight to medium angst ahead (w/ slight suggestiveness at the end), don't say i didn't warn you now !!

bc i think vi would be jealous, but i think it'd be different than cait's specific brand of jealousy, right. bc i think the thing on tiktoks not wrong like, cait's always had stuff belong to her, and vi's always had to share, but like i don't think it's the sharing aspect that would get to vi, it would be like her being deeply afraid that you might leave her (haha i love PAIN). because her whole life, all she's known is loss, and her biggest fear is change, right? but like... you lose people enough times and it's hard to stop from wondering if it's you and not them :( and her insecurities would be that someone else is making you feel xyz, and not her instead

like if someone else were to buy you a drink at a bar, or tell you a joke and make you laugh, she'd get SO jealous that she's not the one doing it, or that you're not smiling at her like that, and she'd wonder if you liked that person better than her. and to a certain degree, i do think that like it would come off in the same way, like jealous gf is do be jealous. but the root of it would be different.

and no, i don't think she'd take it lightly at all if her s/o were doing it on purpose.

she'd make short work of whoever the fuck is with you, either slip an arm around your waist or just tap them on the shoulder and --

"sorry, you're just in the way of me and my girlfriend here --"

and i think it'd manifest at first as anger. bc that's how a lot of vi's feelings manifest LOL and she'd be mad and yank you behind her, pull you somewhere private, be like --

"what was that?"

"what was..." you frown, concern flashing in your eyes as you look over her face. and her expression is so tight, so guarded. it's been so long since you've seen her like this. "vi...? you know that... i wasn't serious about that... right?"

she scoffs, "yeah? seemed like you were having a pretty good time --"

"i -- i was just trying to get us some free drinks! a-and..." you chew on your lips, looking away, "i -- i thought it'd be hot to... i dunno... make you jealous..."

vi sighs, her breath thready as she runs her hands through her hair.

"god, dollface..." she sounds exhausted and wired all at once, and you can't help feeling a sharp spate of guilt twist in your gut.

"vi... i'm so sorry -- i didn't mean --"

she lets out a shaky breath, reaching forward to cup your face with both her hands, her eyes overbright and desperate.

"just... don't -- i'm --"

you curl your fingers around hers, press your cheek into the warmth of her palms.

"i'm not... i'd never leave you, vi..."

she leans forward at your words, presses her forehead against you. a soft, helpless chuckle echoes from her chest to yours.

"yeah? gonna be mine forever, cupcake?"

you laugh, nodding, even as she tugs you forward to graze your lips along hers.

"yeah -- i'm always gonna be yours, vi."

she hums against your lips, her hands trailing down to your neck, pulling you close, and then closer.

"good," she breathes, her voice dipping low as a summer sunset, and nearly just as hot, "now say it again --" she drops her lips to your neck, biting a line down the column of your throat.

you gasp, head tipping back.

"a-always... gonna be y-yours, violet --"

"mm -- again --"

"f-fuck vi -- i'm -- yours -- n-ngh!" she'd look up at you from where she's dropped to her knees in front of you, watching you with those big, baby blue eyes of hers.

she'd flash you a tiny smile that tells you you're forgiven, if only a bit, but the way she nips at your skin just a bit harder than usual and jerks down your pants tells you that she's still feeling vindictive and that you're really, really in for it tonight.

"again," she says, her voice hoarse.

"'m yours, violet -- hah... please..."

your head tips back as her fingers dig into the plush of your thighs and forces them apart.

"again."

[vaguely-concerned]

on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.

all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)

in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.

[moghedien]

Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin

[mellosdrawings]

Flight in Tandem

"And they grew back, as promised."

"And we flew together, as promised."

"And we'll fly again and again and again,"

"I promise."

[PREV] - [NEXT] - [MASTERLIST]

Alternate versions under the cut

[secriden]

Absolutely heartrending because it just hit me that before Bison's phone call, Fadel was actually began to believe that he'd been wrong to suspect Style. Because despite the evidence stacked against Style -- and remember, it was Fadel that spells out the reasons they have to be suspicious of Kant and Style -- Style is so incredibly genuine here and Fadel, in truth, wanted to believe in him.

I think it's possible that Fadel actually saw Style through the window here, but pretended not to because he had to take a moment to prepare himself. But if you see where Style is standing and the way the patio is lit up, there's no reason why Fadel shouldn't have seen him from where he was by the tables before he turns to go behind the counter.

Fadel: I was thinking of going to your place. But you were more impatient than me, huh?

This would also explain how Fadel is able to say this before Style even has the chance to make a sound. I had expected Fadel to wait and see what Style would say, to play it safe and observe; but no, Fadel immediately sets their dynamic back to the assumption of familiarity that their relationship was on before he disappeared for a week. The assumption that he could show up at Style's house unannounced and Style would welcome him.

This feels incredibly intentional. Fadel wants to see how Style is going to react to Fadel acting as if nothing strange happened. If Style was an informant, he should be confused and Fadel may catch him out in a lie.

But Style's performance is flawless:

Style: Where have you been? You didn't reply any of my texts! (punctuation added for emphasis and to mimic Style's tone)

He says this and the whine in his tone is a clear affirmation of that same assumption of familiarity. This is the tone used by someone who is secure in the knowledge that they are owed an explanation; this is the tone of someone in an established relationship who feels justifiably wronged at being left out of the loop.

And I cry a little bit more at the thought of Fadel reading those texts -- Style by turns frantic and confused and worried -- and refusing to respond. Or worse, receiving them and refusing to even read them because Fadel doesn't trust himself to tell the lies from the truth anymore.

At this point, Fadel seems to waver a little bit in his resolve to "test" Style. I think he was a little taken aback that Style didn't seem to be even a little bit weird about his abrupt disappearance for a week. His reply takes on a quality of gentle pleading and the way he's speaking is exactly like a boyfriend who knows he messed up. But because these lines are a lie, Fadel cannot meet Style's eyes as he says them. It's only when he says "I was busy, too" (not a lie) that he's finally able to squarely meet Style's gaze again.

And Style continues to be so convincingly NORMAL because all of this is real for him. This is just genuinely Style, the boyfriend, who actually wants to know where his boyfriend disappeared to without notice for a whole week. Nothing about his body language or tone has even a hint of inauthenticity because there is none. Style means every single word and meets Fadel's gaze squarely as he says them.

It genuinely looks to me like Fadel thaws significantly at this point. He suddenly looks less stiff and the way he delivers this line contains so much more inflection, it becomes cajoling. He even begins to more consistently meet Style's eyes as Fadel begins to allow himself some honesty. Fadel's logical brain knows that the circumstances surrounding Style coming into his life are riddled with inconsistencies, but he both senses and WANTS to see Style's sincerity. The shields that Fadel had up are melting in the face of Style being present and unchanged from what Fadel remembers.

Stay, Fadel all but says, let me make it up to you. Fadel offering to make food for Style (@braceletofteeth please hold me as I cry about this!!) is also significant because the last time Fadel made food for Style (the burger) is when he was softening towards Style after Style helped out at the diner during the rush crowd. Fadel is a creature of habit and all that he's learned of late are the ways Style is easy to love.

They begin to fall back into their usual, playful banter and teasing dynamic. Style leans back against the table (and the way he's all unspoken surrender and submission -- throat arched up and bare and vulnerable -- truly makes me feral), turns up the flirt and Fadel responds in kind. And yes, Fadel means his question on some level but you don't get the sense that his heart is in the interrogation. Fadel may be going through the motions, but this is just Style being himself, exactly as Fadel has come to know (and love), so nothing is pinging as wrong to Fadel.

I mean, just LOOK AT FADEL'S EYES!! His expression is so so soft and tender and wistful. He wants this. He wants so desperately to believe that this is why Style was texting him throughout the week. He wants to have Style in all the ways that include and go beyond the physical; like Style offering his affection is everything Fadel didn't think he could wish for.

It's almost cruel the way Style's touch so utterly disarms Fadel. Because, while it is part of the games they've been playing, so much of their interactions have also been grounded in genuine feelings and moments of intense vulnerability on both sides (although neither of them know this for sure!! T_T). Style's hands on Fadel's body literally removes the last stretch of distance between them and that odd unease lingered over the way Fadel spoke and held himself at the start of the scene finally disappears.

If we compare their expressions and the way they are holding themselves and, most importantly, touching each other by the end of the scene to what we see when Style first walks into the diner, it becomes apparent just how much ground Fadel has given in the span of those few minutes.

It's the way Fadel keeps holding onto Style's hand even as he's turning to leave, maintaining that point of contact until the very last second.

Because with Style in front of him -- warm and familiar and carelessly affectionate -- Fadel allows himself to slip back to the version of himself that woke up in Style's bed at the start of the episode, the version of himself that called Style's name for the first time and wanted to wake him up with the softest of touches. The version of himself that literally, physically couldn't let Style go.

Which is why, when the call comes and Fadel's heart gets broken anew, Fadel remains devastatingly empty of anger towards Style.

Because it was Fadel's own fault for choosing to believe the lie.

Because it was a decision he made to allow his heart to rule over his head.

Because Fadel understands that Style only succeeded in "fooling" him once again because Fadel let him.

So Fadel gives himself this truth, allows himself to finally take that step to bare his heart to Style, the way he promised himself he never would, but the way he so desperately wanted.

And Style kisses Fadel because he doesn't realise that this confession is not a reward, but a judgement.

For Fadel is paying penance for giving in to his own foolish heart, and in so doing renders Style's love to devastation.

[ichiwashername-o]

I am Completely Normal about these two I promise I am absolutely not punching walls in my house as I desperately wait for Part 2 and I'm a Completely Fine And Normal Person I swear

yes i gave up drawing the background and no i don't care

[intotheelliwoods]

FUSION FIGHT FUSION FIGHT! <- <-

@dianagj-art The fusions are fighting!!! Because hey funny story, their first meeting does not go to well 😌It was SUPPOSED to be a friendly spar.. more details in my tags vvv

[arkhamsbrat]

even before he met you jason knew he loved you. the little box hidden under the floorboards at Wayne manor was proof enough. the sheets were folded neatly, stacked in the order he wrote them in an old sneaker box. letter upon letter upon letter to his future spouse that were long forgotten after his death.

when he was younger, he hoped he’d be able to to give it to someone one day. sat and prayed for the day that the right person would come along that he could make happy.

when he came back, he still dreamed about it. jason just didn’t think he deserved it. a love worth those letters would never be in his cards.

then you came along, with your bright smile, sweet words, and patience. god, your patience had to be strong dealing with all of his baggage. he didn’t think he deserved it, but you refused to give him anything else.

was it patience or were you just too stubborn to let go of him? jason didn’t really care about the difference.

he spent nights with you, tangled in the sheets just letting you love him. his mind calms, slowly, with all of your words, your touches- you. it takes nearly a year for him to even believe you really do care about him, without any ulterior motives. he’d found himself too attached to you to worry if there were any, anyways. if he was going to die again, he’d hoped it would be you that killed him.

jason realized he loved you when he woke up to your fingers pressed gently against the pulse points on his neck. sweat beaded along your hairline, eyes wide. “what the-” he couldn’t help the twinge of fear in his gut. what the fuck were you doing?

his hands wrapped around your wrists rougher than he probably should have as he sat up, heart beating against his ribs. he took a deep breath, fighting off every single thought of how you could kill him so easily right now. there was no reason for him to think you’d hurt him, you would never.

your breathing was just as uneven, heart stuttering with every half second. “i-just… had a dream.” you whispered , barely audible against the buzzing of the ceiling fan. “you died. i needed to… make suure.” your eyes flickered away from him as your tears started to fall. the nightmares that plagued your mind normally stopped around jason, but they broke through your safe space tonight.

the look of shock he was giving you made your skin crawl. jason was normally so sweet to you. did you overestimate how much he could handle? you took a deep breath and wiped your cheeks. “i didnt mean to wake you up, i’ll-” jason shook his head and let your wrists go, pulling you to his chest.

he steadied his breathing and shut his eyes tight , chin resting against your head as you sobbed against him, apologizing over and over again because you might lose him now. the fear in your eyes wasn’t because you got caught. it was because you loved him. this was somehow his first realization that it was real for you too. your whispered apologies slowed as he soothed you to sleep “not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart.” he whispered before you fully dozed off. “who’s gonna take care’a you if im gone?”

things between you two felt… different after that. better, but different. it wasn’t until two weeks later that it solidified. Alfred had called him to grab lunch together, and came with a beat up box. jason didn’t recognize it at all until Alfred opened it and pushed it towards him. “I thought it was Master Bruce’s at first, but…” jason scanned over the top letter, eying his old chicken scratch. he shut the box and pulled it close to his chest, wondering if you’d be home before him. “thank you, Alfred..” the old man nodded with a smile. jason knew you were it for him, no questions asked. the letters had always belonged to you.

the minute you were home he sat you down and set the box in front of you. “read them. please…” you eyed the box carefully before reaching out and grabbing the first letter. barely halfway through it and tears were streaming down your cheeks. before he even knew you, he wrote letter on letter on letter about how much he dreamed about being with you. how deep in his soul, he knew he’d find you no matter how long it took. it wasnt chance that these letters found their way to you- it was fate. everything in them perfectly described you, how you spoke to him, acted around him. everything about you is exactly what he’d always wanted.

he eyed you carefully from the opposite end of the couch, fiddling with the edge of his shirt. “so?” he mumbled once you finished. “so!?” you sniffled, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “do you… like them?” you nodded once, fighting back the shock of it all. “jayce, these are…” he let out a nervous laugh. “cheesy? yeah. just thought the person i wanna spend the rest’a my life with should have ‘em.”

reading that was one thing, but jason saying it out loud? “are you sure?” you asked, scooting closer to him. he cupped your cheeks and smiled at you like you hung the stars just for him. “never been so sure about anything else.”

[ceratedfish24]

(This post has been altered to be more general. Please respond to replies and reblogs accordingly. Thank you.)

If I see one more post that villainizes Scott for attacking Joel, or anyone else, for that matter, I’m going to flip my lid.

First of all, it’s a death game. They don’t need a reason to kill each other. Scott and Joel are very close friends outside of the game. They used to be neighbors. The people who are closest tend to go after each other the hardest, because they’re the most comfortable with ending each other’s seasons.

Secondly, it’s not at all unreasonable. Joel’s whole thing is being a menace. He was upset when someone on reddit said that he’s “lawful good” in the Life Series. He said that his goal is to be “chaotic evil”. Joel is a constant menace to Scott and many of Scott’s allies. As a Joel viewer, you might see that as Joel being clever or powerful, but he is just a menace to almost everybody else and that is literally his goal. Of course Scott would want to push back a little.

Third, sure. Joel often doesn’t effectively do much to Scott. This is NOT due to a lack of effort. Joel tries incredibly hard to irritate Scott. It’s his love language. Joel and Scott are close, and Joel thinks it’s hilarious to get Scott riled up. It’s like targeting your brother in a game for the crime of being your brother. Joel failing to do harm to Scott is not the same as Joel doing nothing to hurt Scott. Joel has repeatedly made his intentions clear.

Fourth, the poster specifically mentioned that Scott killed Joel in Secret Life “without a reason”. Joel spent a whole episode of Secret Life recruiting three people to kill Scott. I think their rivalry is a pretty good reason, but, again, they don’t really need a reason. It is a death game. They are friends. They were on different teams. They are bound to attack each other. That’s how the game works.

Joel fans, you don’t ever have to defend Joel from Scott. If you were a real Joel fan, I think you would know that Joel loves Scott dearly and that’s why he’s such a menace to him. Don’t attack Scott for his mutual friendship with Joel. They know each other’s boundaries and have never stepped on them. The members of the Life Series have stated again and again that everyone in the Life Series shows a healthy and mutual respect and love for everybody else in the series and that, if it made it into a video, everyone is okay with it. Joel and Scott literally take time out of their day to excitedly talk about their sessions with each other by themselves. Take a chill pill. Scott and Joel are just fine.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

My biggest fear when I was younger was forgiving those who have wronged me, because it meant I moved on.