dirty-puritan

[hotvintagepoll]

I am adoring all of these polls and gif sets and just being fed so many hot vintage people. As someone who really hasn’t watched very many classics, are there any movies you’d recommend for someone just starting to dip their toes in older media but unsure where to start?

Sure! I don't want to sway any voting, but I'll put an incomplete list of favorites that involve hot men not still in the bracket below the cut.

Something to note that applies to most of these old movies—older movies have different pacing than modern movies, so some of these might seem really slow or weird to start. There are also different ways of framing gender and agency, for better and for worse. I've italicized the ones that I think are the best for starting with, but go with whatever genre/aesthetic sounds best.

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone)—a circus performer working for a quasi-Robin Hood infiltrates the royal court. Fun comedy that's incredibly accessible and still so light on its feet. Swordfighting, glamorous medieval costumes, court intrigues, and silly accents.

Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly)—fun polyamorous musical comedy. The dancing is incredible, but so is the sense of joy and camaraderie between Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and Debbie Reynolds. Genuinely captures the feeling of hanging out with your best friends. 1920s Hollywood, big movie studios, backstage drama, goofy hijinks.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn, Basil Rathbone)—classic swashbuckler/romance. It could read a little slow to modern tastes but the action scenes are absolutely killer, as is the sentiment of seeing little guys pull down big capitalists evil monarchs. Swashbuckling, labor activists merry men hanging out in the woods, hot men in tights, social commentary swords, a Maid Marian who really holds her own and falls in love with the socialist

Charade (Cary Grant)—thriller/romantic comedy. Audrey Hepburn's husband dies and leaves her a hidden inheritance, and she's racing some skeevy characters to find it. A little bit scary but mostly charming and gorgeous, and you can find it high quality virtually anywhere because they fucked up the copyright trademark in the opening credits. Romance, murders, Paris, 1960s fashion, chases in the night.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Dick Van Dyke)—this movie is divisive for some reason—I personally like peace, love, and joy, so it makes the list. This is a James Bond movie if James Bond had two kids, lived in a windmill in the south of England, and was into cottagecore inventions more than martinis and racism. This is very much a kids' movie so go in with that expectation, but enjoy the gorgeous production design, the wonderfully silly performances, and Lionel Jeffries pulling out every stop as an insane old man. Dick Van Dyke has excellent DILF energy. Magical cars, big musical vibes, fun inventions, and romantic fantasy.

To Be Or Not To Be (Jack Benny)—comedy/drama. A ragtag Warsaw theatre troupe stands off against the Gestapo after the invasion of Poland. TW for Nazis, obviously, but overall this is a comedy with some heft, and kind of shocking to be this ballsy about fucking hating Hitler's guts in the 1940s. Hambone actors, Shakespeare, spies, 1930s gowns. It's been a minute since I watched it so I don't think there are any TWs here, but go forth with caution.

Witness for the Prosecution (Tyrone Power)—mystery/legal drama based off an Agatha Christie story. The performances are campy fun and the twist would be at home in something like Knives Out. Big dramatics, hambones, lots of talking, a bit of a mindbender.

The Lady Vanishes (Michael Redgrave)—mystery/suspense/romantic comedy. It's a little slow to start but roll with it—once the action moves to the train the pacing really picks up. This gets slotted as a thriller sometimes but it's much funnier and gentler than that. There's some period-typical snarkiness directed at anyone Foreign™ by some of the British characters; the British characters are also made fun of. Trains, British people, international shenanigans, mystery, and humor.

All About Eve (absolutely none of these hot men, lots of hot women though)—a legendary actress fights for her life against the rising star who supplants her. Big drama, big performances, lots of gasp! and dahling! and vicious little quips. New York, theatre pronounced theahhtah, drama queens and plotting.

The Philadelphia Story (James Stewart, Cary Grant)—talk-heavy comedy, lots of quick banter and period transatlantic accent fun. It's a bit shouty and conflict-heavy at times, but I don't think James or Cary have ever been hotter, and Katherine Hepburn is just wow. Very funny dialogue, relatable characters, incredibly hot across the board. There is one instance of a racial slur (not directed at anyone but still there) and one shove. Some people won't like the discussion of Hepburn's character's choices as a daughter and a wife. With all of these movies you'll see a a range of how female characters are presented and treated, and while some period movies fall hard for sexist tropes, I personally think the performances, direction, and subtext of many of these films actually prioritizes the experiences of the female characters and shows them as living, breathing people, even if they're not framed the way they would be today.

[ofmermaidstories]

i’m hot and kinda grumpy and i want. 🧐 an adventure. 😔🥺 the kind of adventure that takes you from your tiny home in some nondescript village and sees you falling in love with someone you meet along the way (a knight, a dragon king, a prince idc) and then you save the kingdom. 😌 but not before your knight (or your dragon king, your prince) ends up taking a sword to the guts. 😈 but it’s okay bc this is a land of magic and sometimes the gods are bored (and grumpy) and then you get a chance to crawl to the underworld and drag them back. 😌

(but what u don’t know is that by the river of life your dragon king (or your knight or your prince) is making a deal of his own—because there’s no dirt no headstone no fatal sword that can keep him from the life he promised you. 😌🤲🏽✨ meet u in the middle lover. 😈)

[fates-calling]

As much as I love Gale becoming a professor and returning to Waterdeep post game, I adore him becoming an adventurer.

Hear me out.

Gale, learning spells that he never would have touched while he was in Waterdeep & with Mystra, spells like Witch Bolt & Magic Missle. Unimpressive and built to do one thing, hurt your enemies. He relizes quickly he had a nack for these kinds of spells, spells that Mystra would have never been impressed by. They're crude and simple.

He feels bad at first, for finding accomplishment when he preforms them well. Mostky, because he has never been too fond of hurting people. Though, he finds himself enjoying watching evil crumble. But these feelings slowly fade faster than he thought they would.

Whenever Karlach yells "Fuck yeah! Fireball!" During the heat of battle and begs him to teach her (which he as kindly as possible refuses to do) as adrenline & pride rush through him. When Wyll claps a hand on his shoulder after a hard won battle, and grins at him saying: "You're a life saver" and he feels utterly triumphant, and a bit smug.

When Astarion pulls him into a suprise hug, out of sight from everyone else after killing Cazador: and simply tell hims when he pulls away, "I didn't know you learned Sunbeam." And his heart leaps woth a fuzzy-warmth he would never associate with the vampire.

When Shadowheart presses a hand to his forehead for a Cure Wounds after he got a bit too close to the battle and affectionately calls him an idiot for it.

When Lae'zel gives him a wicked grin as his Lighting Bolt downs enemies by the handful without breaking a sweat. Utterly impressed, and perhaps, a bit turned on: making him flush fiercly.

With every battle he wins,every drop of blood he sheds: Gale moves further and further away from the man he was. Further and further from the man who was willing to die for Mystra's forgiveness. He becomes a hero. He becomes a man who craves power - his ambitions & passion once more relight, more so than he ever before as he spots that crown ontop of the Netherbrain.

A man, that by Act 3 is enthralled as he sneaks with Astarion, dodging deadly traps to raid one of the most famous wizard's in Baldur's Gate safes. Read knowledge that had been kept from him, and thousands others. Be able to face the goddess of magic herself, and essentially, tell her to get fucked. To be able to apeak his mind to her instead of rolling over and taking it!

And in the end?

He finds out that he is simpky Gale. And that Gale is good enough. That Gale likes adventure and danger. Oh, will he miss Waterdeep and his mother, but he can always visit! Send letters home. He cant quite give up on all of these new things he has discovered. He doesn't need the crown, or Mystra. He doesn't rven need big fanyc illusion magic as he forces reality to bend to his will with the Weave, though, he still loves and pratices it.

No.

This time - reality is enough. He is enough. And sure, reality isn't always pretty. Sometimes reailty is Lea'zel handing you bloody scrolls you know she plucked off a body. But she knew you would want them. Sometimes, it's trying to make a dinner for five (and you) straving adverntures with nothing but potatoes and a cheese wheel you plucked off of goblin corpses.

But it's yours. And it's you for the first time.

Also.

Someone has to keep Astarion in check, and help the rouge protect the Sword Coast with Wyll serving Avernus. And who better than, a master of the Weave like Gale to help him protect it from the shadows, and tell him no. Sometimes.

[bootleg-sara]

It’s twin time, time for twins

Idk what else to say. This is the last of the main designs for the purgatory AU, so that’s pretty cool. Saved my faves for last, completely on accident but what can you do lmao

As usual, the character bios are under the read more. Read if you wish 👍

The boisterous younger brother of Esau. Heaven’s very own bounty Hunter, who specializes in work that requires going into Hell. A rather important job to deal with any potential problems from the less desirable side of the afterlife. He takes great pride in his work and his clean record of jobs well done.

The boisterous younger brother of Esau. Heaven’s very own bounty Hunter, who specializes in work that requires going into Hell. A rather important job to deal with any potential problems from the less desirable side of the afterlife. He takes great pride in his work and his clean record of jobs well done.

Jacob is a passionate individual in anything he does. His confidence makes it seem as if he always knows what he’s doing, even if that’s not so much the case. He’s an intelligent individual as well, much better built for brain work rather than physical. Though he wants to prove that he can be both. Perhaps out of jealousy, or maybe deep rooted fears or not being enough. Either way, he regularly practices sword combat to keep up with the physical demand of his bounty hunter duties.

His conscious is racked with guilt. Most of his achievements are often also prefaced with some kind of misdeed he never forgave himself for. He strives to be a perfect man, something that’s completely unachievable. Any mistake is taken as his own failings as a person and takes everything very personally. Does a great deal of work to make up for his own unanswered sins. Work that is a constant uphill battle when you have to work an eternity without a single misstep.

One of his favorite past times is cooking.

Esau: voice claim- Rock me Amadeus by Falco

The shy older brother of Jacob. A fellow bounty hunter along with Jacob. His work isn’t done as openly confidently as Jacob, but that doesn’t mean he does his job poorly. His raw strength is a great deal of help when dealing with something pure strategy can’t tackle.

Esau is quiet and reserved. Never been much of a talker, would rather listen to someone speak than contribute. He’s a pretty chill guy too. Doesn’t spend a lot of his time going out in crazy adventures or exercise 24/7. He likes to chill in bed and read a nice book, watch the sunset, or hang out with a good friend. His ideal life would be spent relaxing every day without a care in the world. But his duties as a hunter prevent him from living his leisure life. Most of his muscle was left over from his life on earth when he was considerably more active.

Esau’s an understanding man, maybe a bit to much so. He’ll give the benefit of the doubt to nearly anyone. Even if a majority of Heaven doesn’t trust him due to his past sin of a murder. He can be aloof too. Sometimes he can’t be bothered with others and would rather be alone. Esau wants to be a good man, or at least a man worth being in Heaven.

Esau doesn’t have a favorite activity, but he does like practicing his magic. Since it’s not something he’s mastered quite yet.

What’s their relationship like?

Complicated is the best word to describe it. While they do absolutely love each other, being forever forced to live side by side can bring plenty of complications.

Jacob had made a deal with the Archangel Uriel to prevent Esau from ending up in Hell after he learns of his grave sin of murder. Jacob was also very old, his mind not the big power it once was. When they both had died on the same minute, Jacob was horrified to find out that Esau had a chain wrapped around his heart that came from his own chest. To make up for his sin, Esau is to follow around Jacob and follow any orders he gives out. Jacob immediately felt like shit for this. He didn’t think he’d be getting rid of his brother’s autonomy and it eats his mind every day. Esau, while understandably doesn’t like this, also understands Jacob was sincerely trying to help him from a terrible fate in Hell. The chains can be removed, but they will slow drain Jacob’s life and lead to his death. And Esau is damn set on making sure Jacob doesn’t try anything like that. Though Jacob has tried a good few times.

They have a deep brotherly love for one another, even if they also get on each other’s nerves from time to time. There’s nothing that can take away their bound and are each other’s biggest supporters.

That’s it. Maybe an anti climatic end, but there’s not much else to speak of. Unfortunately I don’t see this series being as active as it once was before, but it might get some love now and again.

Now I just need a bit of time to greave what has been lost ✌️

[kookaburra1701]

I know you deal in adopted NPCs, so I'm gonna ask some specific ones based on that :>

For Kaidan: What is their stance on taking a life? Do they kill without a second thought, in the name of a god or daedra, or do they adhere to pacifism? For Lucien: Do they regret journeying to Skyrim? (You have to understand how much I restrained myself from asking "what's his opinion on the bandit problem?") For Pascale: If they are a magic user, what is their favorite school of magic? Do they have a natural talent for magic, or does it require diligence and study? For Borgakh: What is their favorite kind of food that can only be found in Skyrim? For Olur: What are their opinions on the civil war? Do they support a side or leave them to their own devices?

Hello friend! Heh you know me very well with my habit of adopting NPCs and shaking them very hard giving them loving safe homes. For this ask game I will take a page out of your book and answer in-character. :D

For Kaidan: What is their stance on taking a life?

"If you're doubting the strength of my sword-arm, you've no need to worry. I've killed many things, many people; I haven't lost a patron yet! To tell the truth... I used to not think about it at all. Brynjar never talked about how he felt when he had to kill someone, but by that time whenever we weren't on a job he was always at the bottom of a bottle, so maybe it bothered him more than he let on."

Do they kill without a second thought, in the name of a god or daedra, or do they adhere to pacifism?

"A pacifist? Do you know what a sell-sword is? I'll give you a hint, I'm not a shopkeeper specializing in edged weapons. The only thing anyone in Skyrim needs to know is that I was brought up by and as a Nord, and I honor our traditions. I call upon Kyne for strength, if She feels I'm worthy. Anything more is no one's business but my own."

For Lucien: Do they regret journeying to Skyrim?

"Skyrim, on the whole, has been simply marvelous! I'll grant you there were some slight hiccups in the beginning. And a few brushes with certain death in the middle. Some recent moments where I thought it would all end. But it all worked out ! And just think about all the exciting adventures I would have missed if I'd decided to stay in the Imperial City, locked up in some tower only reading about the things I've seen! I thought I'd be fortunate to write a few treatises, but now I've got enough material for at least ten volumes!"

(You have to understand how much I restrained myself from asking "what's his opinion on the bandit problem?")

"If that's supposed to be a joke I'm not laughing. Sit down Kaidan. I'm going to assume you didn't mean anything by it, and we're all going to forget it was ever asked."

For Pascale: If they are a magic user, what is their favorite school of magic?

"Oh I adore Conjuration! People don't seem to know all the things you can summon - sure they know about weapons like bows and swords, but did you know there's things like furniture in Oblivion? You can take it, too! Sometimes there's sticky stuff on it or it smells bad, but if you keep trying you'll usually get something good. Lockpicks are my favorite. And that doesn't even touch on my familiar, or atronachs! Conjuration means never being lonely, and your new friend has to do what you say!"

Do they have a natural talent for magic, or does it require diligence and study?

"Mistress Clarreau -my governess- said that I had the largest magicka pool of any of her students! I didn't have to study for most spells at all, but she always making me do exercises and such like. Do you know how tedious it is to light and extinguish a candle flame one hundred times when you could just as well burn the entire castle to ash with a thought? It's very tedious. Maybe I wouldn't want to burn down the castle if I didn't have to do such ridiculous things as exercises."

For Borgakh: What is their favorite kind of food that can only be found in Skyrim?

"My favorite food can now only be found in the Ashpit, Outlander. And that is if Hearth-Wife Grutha feels like giving the slaves who serve there her recipe golden-cup mushroom and goat cheese pasty."

For Olur: What are their opinions on the civil war?

"It's a lot of humans fighting a long way from here over one of their gods. The chaplains in the Legion always said the gods were better than Daedra like Malacath but if they were they wouldn't need mortals to fight for them, to my way of thinking. But if things go too poorly for the Legion they're going start calling up levies, and those of us who have served before will be first on the lists. I hope Mor Khazgur is too isolated for them to bother with me."

Do they support a side or leave them to their own devices?

"The last time a lot of Nords calling themselves "Stormcloaks" came through the Reach things were bad. I was very young, but I remember the smoke from the burning Reachclan camps turning the sun red, and the air poisonous. You know the stronghold Rahkzuga Yal? No you don't, because it doesn't exist any more. The Nords in blue didn't care if what they burned belonged to Reachclans or not, only that it didn't belong to Nords. The Chief and his Shield-Wife died defending their stronghold, and it still burned. Now his son Ghunzul and the Rahkzuga clan is having to make do in some ruin down south in Falkreath. I don't know why they didn't clear out of Skyrim altogether but they always were strange ones.

"But that doesn't answer your question. I support whichever side will leave Mor Khazgur alone, and not meddle in things they don't understand. I don't understand the Reachfolk and their hagravens so I don't meddle with them, and things are just fine as long as outsiders don't get involved. If only more people acted like me."

[breannasfluff]

Vibes. I would love to hear about the vibes each of your Magnus Lupus boys.

Sky - Very self-assured and calm. He's had his period of figuring out who and what he is in life and this is after he's settled in himself. He puts some emphasis on helping, but also letting people make their own mistakes to learn and grow. A stable rock in the group.

Wild - He's a good leader, but he's still insecure about it. He doesn't have as soft a touch as Sky does because he's still learning. He's got a soft spot for Mini. He's not used to having people looking up to him--or at least, believing it when they do.

Time - Caring...but a gremlin. He plays a good beta, sort of fading into the background and navigating a lot of the back and forth between deltas and alphas. That said, he delights in passing off beta work to Warriors.

Warriors - Put upon but caring. Frazzled mom of the group. Why is Time dumping work on him? Why is he in the same group as Hyrule? Can he just get a nap and a trip to the beach?

Lorule - Sweet and kind. Without some of those extra adventures he's not jaded and grouchy. A very middle of the road delta. He'll hold his own against Hyrule, he's not a total pushover. He's in a relationship with Ravio, who was the inspiration for his nickname.

Hyrule - Someone dumped too much feral energy on this one. He's a force of nature (sometimes literally with his magic). Ruthless in a fight against monsters. He's got a really competitive spirit and challenges Lorule constantly. Sometimes he wins, but Lorule will win the next time. They switch back and forth a lot; probably too much for the others to keep up with. They're both deltas, it's just where in the delta bracket they rank. That said, Hyrule can be soft and sweet. And he does like Lorule quite a bit. They have a strong sibling vibe.

Twilight - Gentle and nurturing. He's strong, but he's not interested in using that to fight up the ranks. He'll use it to protect, of course. But he likes kids and is happy taking care of the younger ones and helping entertain them.

Wind - Omega, but he's moving toward delta status. He's out of puphood enough not to worry about it too much. It's been a few years since his adventure and he's matured a bit. He's still playful and likes watching over Mini.

Mini - He's baby. If it wasn't for his adventure he'd still be a pup. I sometimes use pup as a second identifier for him for this reason. He's just a bright, cute kid. He can use his sword for the spell to turn minish at a portal. In the future we'll explore the world of the picori with him some more. Got a hero crush on Wild. He's still at a point you can treat him like a stuffed animal and he doesn't usually mind. He still helps in battles, but the others try to keep him safe.

[its-callum-everybody]

I CANNOT DRAW. That’s how I’m starting this off. So I, sadly, cannot give you all the visuals for this lovely woman. However! What I can give you all is a In-depth analysis of her character and Creation! Of course, we’ll be breaking this into parts.

Part 1 — Basic Character Information / Relationships

Part 2 — Everything to do with her Unique Magic

Part 3 — Lore

Part 4 — Appearance

PART 1 ➤

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Cyrielle [No Known Last Name]

Name Meaning: Lordly

Nicknames: Ce-Ce [Cater], Killifish-Chan [Floyd], Madame Profiterole [Rook], Yam [Vil], Henchman/Second-in-Command [Grim (she got ranked up)], Little Imp [Sam]

Age: Presumably 17

Height: 5 foot 8 inches or 173 cm

Weight: Never ask a lady this [146 lbs]

Gender: Female

Birthday: 8/18

Star Sign: Leo

Hair Color: Charcoal Black

Eye Color: Dark Grey

Sexuality: Undetermined

— (•) —

Dominate Hand: Right

Favorite Food: Breakfast Sandwich

Least Favorite Food: Pickled Eggs

Likes: Aesthetically pleasing things, being right

Dislikes: Dark Chocolate, amnesia

Hobbies: Dancing

Talent: Sword-Fighting

— (•) —

Year: 1st

Dorm: Ramshackle

Class | Student No.: 1-B | 34

Best Class: History

Favorite Class: Practical Magic

Club: N/A

Favorite Teacher: Sam (If that counts)

— 1st Years

Ace: Best Friend #1

Deuce: Best Friend #2

Jack: Mutual Respect. Don’t say their friends, understood to be friends.

Epel: He goes to her to get Junk Food and she happily feeds him. Friends.

Sebek: Begrudging Friends. She takes care of him like a stray cat and he complains while accepting it.

— 2nd Years

Riddle: Friendly Divorced Co-Parents of ADeuce.

Azul: Would smite him on sight with the sweetest smile on her face. He fears her. Slightly calmer after his over-bolt. Slightly.

Jade: Neutral. Can have decent conversation.

Floyd: Try to kill each other while smiling and laughing. Friends.

Ruggie: Hated him during Book 2 but they’re actually pretty chill afterwards. If they see each other in the halls, he tries to make her laugh by making someone do something weird with his magic.

Kalim: She’s number One sunshine protector. Was one-hundred percent ready to fist fight Jamil during his over bolt if she had too.

Jamil: Pre-book four, they were at a neutral standing. During his overbolt she was fully ready to just rock him. Post-overbolt, they’re very quiet around each other but nice. She sometimes just goes to Scarabia to sit there while he cooks.

Silver: She’s very nice to him and he doesn’t understand why. He woke up from a nap one day with his hair braided and a blanket over him. The only reason he knew it was her was because some birds told him. So he tries to be polite back but genuinely has no clue why she’s so nice and it freaks him out. She likes him.

— 3rd Years

Cater: Made a Separate Magic-cam account called ‘Cyrielle’s Adventures’ which focuses on him introducing Cyrielle to TWST pop culture and its a hilarious mess. Cater proclaims them BFF’s.

Trey: Dorm-Dad TM. She may not be in Heartslabyul but she’s always a welcome guest. When she comes over, she sits on the counter while Trey bakes. He lets her stir and eat the leftover batter.

Leona: One she actually did end up punching during his over bolt. She couldn’t stand him before or afterwards. During book three when he begrudgingly helped her and Grim though she loosened up. She can respect his intelligence though. Kingscholar would be more admirable if he had a bit of tenacity.

Vil: He kind of annoyed her pre-overbolt, after the over-bolt she did felt some level of sympathy for him. To always be the villain. That fact alone resonated with her for some reason those she can’t recall why.

Rook: He makes her uncomfortable. She can put up with him, but whenever she knows he’s nearby she can’t seem to let her guard down.

Idia: She didn’t really have any sort of feelings towards him before book 6. After book six though he ended up getting punched, then an awkward head pat. Needless to say He’s awkward around her and she ends up trying to nicer in the end. Even if he just runs away from her half the time.

Lilia: He caught her when she was covering Silver with a blanket and was sworn to secrecy. He knows very well about her crush and casually likes to drag Silver into spending time with him, find her, then leave them together.

Malleus: She invited him in to have tea one day and he ordained her and Silver’s wedding at that moment (because of course Lilia told him everything). Both can be the Yapper to the others Listener. Lilia forces him to play matchmaker too. So he casually tries to tell her about what Silver likes. He’s not good at trying to hint at it but he’s trying.

— Other

Grim: Her son. Will defend him with her life and soul. Do not touch her boy.

Ortho: She gets sad when she looks at him, even before book six. Something about a child that isn’t fully a child because they aren’t a person… it reminds her of someone she can never seem to remember. So she likes to treat him like a little kid even if he can do almost anything with his robotic abilities.

— Staff

Crowley: Fresh-out-of-Jail Uncle and Put-him-back Niece.

Crewel: There is blatant favoritism towards her and Vil. He does not hide it.

Vargas: Takes it easy on her in gym class because she’s one of the only girls; he watched her pick up Jack one time with no struggle and still does this.

Trein: She stays after his class sometimes to ask more questions about history. Lucius likes to chill in her lap during this time. Grandpa vibes.

Sam: Literally her adoptive dad.

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Interview Tag!

Thanks for the tag, @mk-writes-stuff (here)!

I'll go with Corah (the main character of "Of Starlight and Beasts") because I don't think I've done this tag for her before!

Are you named after anyone?

"No, not really."

When was the last time you cried?

"I don't really cry all that often - at least not in front of people. At least I try not to. When I'm sad or something truly upsets me I just kinda, shut down and run off to try to find somewhere I can truly be alone. Then I cry. The last time I truly cried was when our kingdom was attacked by those horrid monsters a few months ago. It was chaos and I can't help but feel I could've done something to prevent it, even though that's a foolish notion."

Do you have kids?

"No, of course not, I'm too young for that, I'm only nineteen! I'm almost still a kid myself. And I've got a whole world to see, a lot of adventures to have, wrongs to make right and monsters to fight before I can start thinking about that. If I ever have children, I'll try to be like my Dad was for me - present and caring, as a parent should - not like my mother who left when I was little and never once looked back. Sometimes, because of her, I worry that - if I eventually have any children - I might not be a perfect mother, if I ever become one."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"Only sometimes! It depends strongly on my mood and whom I'm talking to. If I'm happy, I might use sarcasm to make some light hearted jokes, if someone is doing something annoying on purpose I'll use sarcasm as a rebuttal, and so on and so forth. I try to be very careful not to hurt other people's feelings, because it doesn't hurt to try and be as polite as possible to everyone you meet - its common courtesy and even a simple smile and kind words might make someone's day much better, because you never know what they're going through. But on a less serious note, I tend to use sarcasm a lot with my friends - mostly because I trust them and also because they're incredibly sarcastic as well so they're able to match my energy very well!"

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

"I try to understand a bit more about their intentions and morality, if they're trying to help people or if they're using power to cause harm to others. I can get a general vibe of whether someone is good or bad from a first impression - but I tend to give anyone the benefit of the doubt until I'm proven wrong. I also notice try to notice the little details that might give me some more insight into that person's personality and daily life. Sometimes the details speak the loudest, because everyone is so unique and different in their own personal way."

What’s your eye colour?

"Dark brown!"

Scary movies or happy endings?

"I personally like both! When I was a little girl I used to adore the kinds of tales that had very intriguing and scary events that the protagonist had to face throughout the story - the more epic and high stakes the obstacles the better - as long as the hero triumphed in the end. And to this day, though my taste in books has certainly matured that preference hasn't changed. I think that, when you grow up in a kingdom that is constantly beset by monsters and horrors born of dark magic, you learn that fear is a natural part of life, and you learn how to deal with it in a way that doesn't let it consume you - you learn to grow from it, and to use that fear in order to create a better future. My Dad comes from a long line of monster hunters, so I was naturally raised with a lot of tales about eldrich creatures from far off lands and the knights who defeated them."

Any special talents?

"I am a knight-in-training, and I take my training duties very seriously. Because of this I can say I'm pretty talented when it comes to fighting, especially with the use of swords, spears and daggers. I'm also good at archery and I've learned how to fight wearing plate armor (the weight of that amount of metal takes a while to get used to, but once you do it becomes pretty much second nature). Though I take pride in those talents I've nurtured, I still have a lot to learn - hubris can lead to fatal mistakes in a fight. I also like sewing and making simple jewelry out of daily items, and I think I can dance well enough to not make a fool of myself in front of everyone in a masquerade. At least I hope so!"

Where were you born?

"I was born in the capital city of Tirawen, and have lived there ever since. It's a beautiful city, with good people and an incredibly vast set of cultures, but its also a very complicated place - the nobility is trapped in a constant 'dance' of which House has the most power and influence, and as such, gossip and intrigues are a harsh reality one has to deal with when around the city's elite. The kingdom also is constantly beset by monsters, though due to the capital being in the heart of the kingdom, it is usually safer than the provinces, despite the kingdom's magic barrier shielding most of the land. Also, fun fact that some people don't know: due to our kingdom being constantly in contact with that same magic, people from Tirawen often have longer lifespans - up to 200 years old if they live really close to the heart of the kingdom where magic is the strongest! I just find that pretty neat!"

Do you have any pets?

"We have an old dog named Miss Hilde who is the sweetest little thing - despite her being the biggest dog I've really ever seen. She's incredibly playful, but don't let those big, seemingly thoughtless eyes fool you - she's a sneaky and sassy pup who likes making a mess at every chance she gets, because she knows she'll get away with it. Or at least that's what I think my dog thinks, haha."

What sort of sports do you play?

"Does jousting, horseback riding, swordfighting and other knightly duties - like archery, duelling, etc - count? I hope it does, because that's pretty much a lot of what being a knight entails - at least I'm constantly exercising, so hopefully I'll be a healthy and buff old lady when I eventually grow old, haha."

How tall are you?

"I've always been pretty tall for my age, which has definetly come with its own sets of advantages and disadvantages."

What was your favourite subject in school?

"Hmm. In my time at the academies I used to really like subjects such as 'History of the Ancient Realms', 'Handling Magic', 'the General Sciences of Alchemy' and every single class that had something to do with improving my abilities as a knight!"

What is your dream job?

"I think I've probably already talked your ear off about wanting to be a knight, by now, so I think we've got the answer right there, haha. I cannot wait to pass my Trials and be fully knighted as a soldier of the realm - then I'll be able to serve my country and protect the people from the monsters that lurk in the night, as well as bring honor back to our family name... Which is a very complicated subject for another time."

Tagging (gently, no pressure): @agirlandherquill, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @littleladymab, @little-peril-stories, @illarian-rambling, @elshells, @winterandwords, @writernopal, @moonandris, @eccaiia, @inky-duchess, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @clairelsonao3, @thepeculiarbird, @steh-lar-uh-nuhs, @ybotter, @aalinaaaaaa, @autumnalwalker, @oh-no-another-idea, @cowboybrunch and OPEN TAG

[geode-crystal]

Gail Carson Levine's Character Profile

I was tagged by @tildeathiwillwrite for this one! decided to do my boi Mianu.

I love character building stuff like this so I maaay have gone a little overboard on a couple questions lol

All credit to @theeccentricraven for the original tag game :)

Rules: Copy and paste the template, fill it out for one or more of your OC's, then post your OC's and the blank template for others to copy and paste.

I'm not going to tag anyone specific in this but hey, whoever wants it, go for it! All answers for Mianu below the cut!

Name: Mianu Farias

Nickname: Do not even attempt to give him a nickname he is too Edgy for that (he’s not even a fan of all the formal royal titles people use for him)

Kind of being: Human

Age: about 20-ish

Sex: Male

Appearance: Long, somewhat wavy pitch-black hair. There’s a strand that tends to fall in his face, sometimes covering up the scar above his right eye. Bright green eyes. He looks a little too skinny for his height. Discreetly muscular.

Occupation: Prince, was once in training to be a knight before he discovered his true royal heritage

Family Members: Adoptive parents (who are not nobility), younger brother, even younger sister

Pets: A very loyal and very cute black hound. It’s always tough to leave him behind when he goes on various adventures.

Best friend: Considers Darius both his best friend and his boyfriend. Becomes good friends with Everard, a knight from a neighboring kingdom.  

Describe their room: His room in the palace of his home kingdom is surprisingly sparse, almost entirely devoid of personality. He doesn’t like spending that much time in there, and it shows.

Way of Speaking: He tends to sound rather cold while he’s talking, especially to people he’s not familiar with. But most of that is just him trying to push past his regular self-doubt and anxiety. Add that to the stiffness that comes with using Polite Royal Speech when he’s still not particularly used to it, and you get a bit of a standoffish mess. But when he’s comfortable and happy around someone, he can be playfully snarky and sarcastic. He loves teasing people. And his laugh is wonderful. Only Darius gets to hear that laugh often.

Physical characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): Even before he knew he was royalty, he had a habit of standing tall whenever he was angry. He has an impressive death glare. An Upset Mianu will have hunched shoulders, curling in on himself, wrapping his arms around himself protectively. He favors one arm over the other thanks to the consequences of dark magic. He’s worn a sword at his side often enough that putting a hand where it would usually be in times of crisis has become something of a habit.

Items in his/her pockets or backpack or purse: Whatever he might need for the latest adventure. He tries his best to plan ahead. It doesn’t always work. He also “secretly” carries two books with him wherever he goes, one on whatever magical subject he happens to be studying at the time, another just for entertainment. (Darius knows about his “secret books.” He thinks it’s adorable, much to Mianu’s embarrassment.)

Hobbies: Studying magic, still remembers some gardening basics from his old non-noble life  

Favorite sports: He is a master at the cheese-rolling challenge in old hometown festivals. (So basically track and field lol)

Talents, abilities, or powers: Wields incredibly powerful shadow/dark magic (when it doesn’t wield him), skilled with a sword. Once commanded an entire squadron of a magical shadow army (He regrets that desperately, but still retains his skills in command and tactics).

Relationships (they are with other people): Seems cool and unapproachable at first, but most of that is just the self-doubt showing through, manifesting as a need to prove himself and unwillingness to open up to people. But as above, once you get close to him, you have a friend for life. And he’s actually a clever and funny person, with one heck of a nerdy streak. He will defend anyone in his small chosen family with everything that he has.  

Fears: Terrified that the fact that he once chose the wrong path in his life, that he fought on the wrong side of a great battle, means he will never be able to make up for everything he did.

Faults: Has given into temptation/been tricked/been manipulated before. He can be cruelly cunning, but this is mostly the effect of living with and working with The Bad Guys for so long.  Lots of inner confusion and inner torment: he’s still trying to figure out what to do with himself and his newfound position of power.

Good Points: His heart is truly in the right place. He cares deeply about friends and family and loved ones. Genuinely wants the best for his people, no matter what their rank or birthrights might be. He’s also wonderful with animals, and quick both on his feet and with his wits.

What they want more than anything else: To make things right.

Template:

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Age:

Sex:

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Best friend:

Describe his/her room:

Way of Speaking:

Physical characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): 

Items in his/her pockets or backpack or purse:

Hobbies:

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What he/she wants more than anything else:

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hi!!! It has been a while since I've seen anyone doing matchups, and I think you're the first one I've seen doing them for BG3!! I'm really excited hehe. Could I request a match up, pleade?

My character is someone who, first and foremost, admires the beautiful things in life. She's adventurous, fiercely loyal, immensely kind and has an unbreakable will. She loves to sing, dance, and play music, and it's very adept at it, so much so that her style of combat involves sword-dancing and casting magic through music. It's her goal to see her actions make the world a better place.

On the downside, she is also very innocent, sometimes foolishly so. She doesn't really think someone might be playing a bigger game and always tries to see the good side even in the most nefarious entities. She can also be inexperienced in socially dealing with others or certain situations, for she has lived a somewhat cloistered life away from others and this makes her somewhat of a slow-learner. However, people around her tend to find themselves at ease due to her warm and inviting aura.

On more technical aspects, she's a female Selandrine Drow of short stature, athletic body and has light golden eyes and highlights contrasting her long, curly white hair. She is straight and for that reason male matches are preferred! She also doesn't have virtually any experience in the dating scene, and for that reason she is willing to at least try both mono and poly relationships, but as of right now has no preference in either.

Thank you so so much!! Hope this was acceptable ✨️

A/N: This was great! Thank you for the details! Okay, for my Selandrine Drow Anon, I think your best matchup would be with… Asatrion! 

⭐ Astarion would be a good match for your Selandrine Drow Tav. They’re both lovers of the beautiful things in life, Astarion because he’s rather indulgent and after years of torment needs things to live for, and your Tav because she’s looking for beauty to make the world a better place. So even though Astarion’s fascination with beauty is more materialistic, he also looks for beauty as a sign the world is worth fighting for. He’s been through quite a lot of abuse and torment. And I’m sure your Tav has seen her fair share of that as well being a drow and all. They’re both looking for reasons to keep on fighting the good fight, and for them, I’d think they’d find that in each other.  

Astarion isn’t exceedingly kind, but he is loyal. Once he decides someone is a worthy ally, or a trustworthy friend, he’s rather dependent on them, even if he wishes he wasn’t. He’s extremely willful but also very needy, and this can make him bitter at times. However, I think your Tav’s kindness and innocence would help Astarion let his guard down a bit. There’s a sort of comfort in knowing you have the upper hand when it comes to all the horrible things people could be planning to do to you. Astarion feels safe, because he knows she isn’t playing a bigger game as you say. He definitely feels a sense of protection over your Tav because of this naivety. He’s very smooth and charismatic socially, so he’ll take the lead in those situations, to ensure no one gets hurt. 

He loves how your Tav sings and dances and plays music. It’s such a joyful thing. And he really loves how dramatic she is, incorporating it into her fighting style. It’s so theatrical and witty- he’s drawn to her especially because of that. 

He may have had some initial reservations about befriending a drow, even a Selandrine one. Then again, once he meets your Tav and sees how kind and trusting she is, he lets those biases go. Afterall, she remained his friend after he revealed his true vampiric nature, so who is he to judge? Plus as a Selandrine, she doesn’t follow the same strict rules as a more Lolth-sworn drow, which Astarion appreciates. He may not believe in any gods himself, but he admires someone who is willing to stand out against the crowd, in order to pursue what they believe, regardless of how different it is. 

And he adores the fact that their hair matches. She’d have to tell him of course, because he can’t see his reflection. But he thinks it’s sort of ironically adorable how profusely similar they look as a couple. Astarion himself may have many years experience in the bedroom, but virtually none in the dating scene. So he’s very happy to take things slow within their relationship. 

If he remains a vampire spawn, and doesn’t ascend, he’s glad your Tav is as willing to spend time in the dark or shade as he is. I mean, he’ll gladly watch from safely inside the house as she frolics around outside, singing in the sun. But he’s happiest when the two of them are under the stars together, while she plays a sweet melody just for him.

[thestarlightsapphic]

Sometimes I wonder if my younger self would be proud of who we grew up to be. When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up to be a princess. That’s what I would tell everyone that would care to listen. I would tell strangers in elevators that I was a princess because I really believed that was who I would grow up to be. I also wanted to be a strong princess, that could wield a sword and defeat villains in battle. I loved sword fighting with sticks with the neighborhood kids or with my sisters. I believed that no battle was too great or too dangerous to take on. I was quite the fearless child. Quite literally, I gave my parents several heart attacks honestly.

Sometimes I really wish that I could hug that little girl and tell her that she was so beautiful and deserved the world and to keep dreaming. Sometimes, I want to apologize to that little girl because her childhood was ripped away from her right at the very end of it by someone that had no right to take that from her. Sometimes I really miss her.

Fear can do some really crazy things to the brain. When you go from a life of fearlessness to a life of fear. When suddenly you don’t know who you can trust anymore, when letting people get close to you suddenly becomes the hardest thing in the world. You no longer want to be seen. You stop dreaming, you stop feeling. You can’t talk to anyone about what happened because what if they hurt you next? What if they don’t believe you? What if what happened to you wasn’t that bad? I can’t even begin to count the number of people that I unfortunately pushed away because of fear. Some of those people I’ve been able to reconnect with, and some I’ve not.

It’s taken so much time, so much work, and so much vulnerability that I really don’t like. Vulnerability that seems to come off so easy to do, but that feels like needles. Letting myself be seen, like actually seen, by people that I understand actually care about me? Being loved by people that respect the tough boundaries that I have up, but still help to break down the wall brick by brick that I’ve spent so long building up.

The best part of all that work though? I’ve allowed myself to start dreaming again. I’ve started pursuing the passions in life that I care about again. Maybe it’s a little more realistic now than a princess, but I’m still trying to achieve the little things I wanted. I can, in fact, wield a sword. It’s for the stage, but it still feels quite awesome. At the same time, I can fight my own battles. I can stand up for myself when I need to. I’m fearless, and I’ll be the first one to say yes to an adventure of all kinds. I did fall in love, and it’s so wonderful. I am a princess, in some ways. At least, on the stage.

I wish I could tell that little girl that she would see some really hard things in life, that there would be moments it felt like the magic she clung to so long was gone. I want to tell her though that everything will turn out okay though, and that she’s going to be so happy someday.

I don’t know if she’d be proud of me, but I know that I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished in the last couple of years. Being seen is still really hard sometimes, and sometimes I still run away, but I’ve still made so much more progress than I’ve ever felt possible. And I’m so excited to see what comes next in life.

Anyways, I’m super sick and feeling nostalgic and mushy gushy. So this is very mushy gushy. The regular chaotic content will return shortly lol.

[cyberphuck]

ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE ABRIDGED: CAST OF CHARACTERS

THE EXPLAINING REALM OF THE ELDERLINGS TO RAZZ PROJECT SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO READ THE BOOKS BUT THEY CAN STILL ENJOY MY SHITPOSTING ABOUT IT

PART ONE: ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE PART ONE-A: CAST OF CHARACTERS THE FARSEERS (The royal family of the Six Duchies, every member of this clan is a hot mess. I will also be including Farseers-by-marriage in this category). Nameless/Fitz/Fitzchivalry: The POV character, King-in-Waiting Chivalry’s bastard whose name is literally “Chivarly’s Bastard.” Prince Chivalry: Fitz’s father who never has an on-screen appearance. He was first in line to the throne but abdicates when Fitz shows up. Prince Verity: Chiv’s younger brother, the Nice Uncle who becomes the new King-in-Waiting. Honest as his name and good at sports. Prince Regal: Chivalry and Verity’s younger half-brother, the Mean Uncle. Vain and power hungry and has like negative three redeeming qualities. King Shrewd: Current king, kind of getting on in years but not yet totally decrepit. He’s an ends-justify-the-means guy but not in an evil way. Chade: King Shrewd’s older half-brother on the wrong side of the sheets. An assassin. Lives in the walls. Has a weasel. August: Fourth? In line for the throne, he’s someone’s cousin, I forget whose, but he can do the Skill, so he’s here. Queen Constance: Chivalry and Verity’s mom. Shrewd’s arranged-marriage wife. Dead. Queen Desire: Regal’s mom. Shrewd’s midlife crisis trophy wife. Suffers from what we will discreetly call “substance abuse disorder.” Is a Mythic Bitch. Patience: Chivalry’s wife. Has ADHD. Can’t have children. Weird, but nice. (Kettricken is grouped with Rurisk so he doesn’t get lonely). CASTLE AND STABLE FOLK (and Molly) Burrich: Fitz’s pseudo-father and keeper. Stablemaster of Buckkeep, former right hand man to Chivalry. Was an adventurer like you until he took a pig to the knee. Cobb: Burrich’s apprentice. That’s kind of it, but he’s worth mentioning. Hands: A stablehand and Fitz’s friend. Likes redheads. Claims to have fucked a million women. Hasn’t. Lacy: Patience’s serving woman and bestie. Makes lace, nods indulgently and will stab you. The Fool: Albino freak-child who serves as King Shrewd’s jester. People are kind of afraid of him. Sometimes appears to yell word-salad at Fitz or walk his dog for him. Galen: Potions, er, Skill-master. Walks around the keep sneering at people. Supposed to teach people how to Skill, but isn’t good at it. Skill Students: Will not become important until next book. Molly Nosebleed: A pugnacious street girl who lives in Buckkeep Town. Fitz hangs out with her when he can. MOUNTAIN FOLK Rurisk: Prince of the Mountain Kingdom. Took an arrow to the chest and kept on truckin’. Used to be friends with Chivalry, is a pretty stand up guy. Hope nothing happens to him. Kettricken: Rurisk’s younger sister, betrothed to Verity (and later married) late in the book. Picture Gwendolyn Christie. Now give her a sword and a sense of duty that’ll blow you into next Tuesday. Jonqui: Kettricken’s aunt. No nonsense. Thinks Fitz is cute. PETS Nosy: Hound dog puppy. Bonded to Fitz. Smithy: I think Smithy’s like a French Bulldog or something? Fitz calls him a “terrier” but he’s not a ratting breed, he’s kind of muscly... anyway, bonded to Fitz. Sooty: Fitz’s horse. Best mare, perfect cinnamon roll and can do no wrong. Vixen: Burrich’s dog and Nosy’s mother. Good dog. Slink: A weasel belonging to Chade. MAGICS (I know magic is not a character, but they do have to be explained somewhere) The Wit: The ability to “bond” with certain animals and speak with them, as well as sense life force and to do a kind of mental shove at people. You tend to act a little like the animal you’ve bonded to. Witted people are considered gross and animalistic and are run out of town or put to death. The Skill: Telepathy. Considered the “birthright” of the Farseers. Most people can sense it at least a little, but it takes inborn talent and a lot of careful training to do anything useful with it. Skilling apparently feels awesome but if you give in to the temptation to fully open yourself to it you can get sucked out of your own  brain.

[moonleet]

As another regressor currently fixated on BG.3, would love to hear any agere headcanons you have for it :3 (also agreed most of the companions would be disaster cgs but honestly its funny that way)

AHSJFJSJDJF okay okay SO!!! these are super super unorganized but here they are.. all of my thoughts,, im only on act 2 so eek. sorry for any characterization mistakes ahdkfnsndn

karl.ach is the world's best big sister and SO easy to look up to. she loves having a mini-her follow her around and she's super physically affectionate with them.

k.arlach does really well with a little one with high energy. she loves coming up with games, and can play a bit rough sometimes. it's hard for her to tone it down around more sensitive kiddos

gal.e can be a little bit impatient tbh. he tries his best but MC is usually so capable and it's hard for him to reconcile any limitations they have regressed. he's a wonderful storyteller, though! and he loves showing the little one all kinds of cool magic

he's really, really good with big kids tbh. earns the title of Cool CG through kinda just... doing his thing, very good at balancing treating them as capable with meeting their emotional needs

as.tarion is more dramatic than the little one tbh. he brings all the drama. he does best with a calm little one because he can easily work up someone prone to a bit more anxiety - totally by accident!! but he's more likely to join in complaining over a misplaced toy than to actually help find it

he. loves. playing. dressup. he loves dressing up his little one and dressing up with them... if he's feeling charitable he'll even let them style him. he's also really good at mending torn stuffed animals and i'll die by this.

la.e'zel is... surprisingly good with little ones, but not in the expected cuddly sweet way. she's utterly confident in them - perhaps too confident, maybe she shouldn't encourage the toddler that, yeah, they can totally handle their sword - but she does really well with independent little ones.

wy.ll is quite possibly the only one of the companions who isn't a total disaster cg tbh 😭 he's so, so good with little kids and toddlers: he can keep up with them while setting reasonable limits, and he's super encouraging about almost anything they want to do!

sometimes he accidentally scares more sensitive little ones with his stories, though :'( the blade of frontiers has had a lot of cool adventures, but also a lot of scary ones, and he doesn't always know where to draw the line

sh.adowheart gives me the most disaster vibes tbh 😭😭 i genuinely think she has no idea what to do with a little one and would have such a hard time adjusting, due to her upbringing. she has a genuine soft spot for regressors she just... struggles.

she does well with bossy little ones tbh. when MC comes up with all the games and activities and tells her exactly what role she needs to play in their newest adventure, she can really get into it!!!

on those notes, i think ast.arion, shad.owheart, and karla.ch are flips but i feel like this post is massive already so i may revisit that later 😭😭

[gawrkin]

King Arthur's Son from Jack the Giant Killer

The folk story of Jack the Giant Killer is one of those rare fairy tale stories that's also an Arthurian story - being that its setting during Arthur's reign. Other stories of this type include Tom Thumb and Child Rowland. These stories are generally post-Malory. (unfortunately)

Apparently, according to some scholars the story of "the giant slaying Jack" arose because of the popularity of Arthur himself as the "Slayer of Giants" was so numerous, people were getting bored with it. Jack himself and his story comes off as hodgepodge of various motifs that you find elsewhere in other stories.

What caught my attention with this story, is that the largest episode of Jack's story involves Jack meeting up with a nameless son of King Arthur and adventuring with him.

So, the story of Jack begins with a simple introduction and description of Jack and his first enemy, Cormoran:

For the first three sections of the story, Jack goes around killing giants and making a name for himself (including a famous moment where he tricks a giant into commiting suicide).

For this post, we're skipping over to the part where King Arthur's son is introduced:

Lol. When I was reading this part, I couldn't help but imagine this Prince is actually Sir Loholt, who is sometimes Arthur's Legit son with Guinevere. It actually makes a lot of sense with Lanzelet's description of him:

So yeah, for me he's Prince Loholt. :) Continuing on:

Yup. He's an Arthurian male character, alright. Too nice, not enough braincells.

Also, its kind of heartwarming to know Arthur and Guinevere would have a son who's so kind and generous, he wouldn't think twice to give up his riches if it meant helping someone.

So next up, Jack suggests that they sleep over at a giant's place. This is the other interesting about Jack the Giant Killer: He personally knows this giant and depending on the version, he claims this giant is actually his uncle. Other stories claim the giant is an idiot and Jack's just smooth talking him, but I think its way more interesting if the Giant IS Jack's relative. In Early Arthurian Lore, a number of giant-slayers, including Arthur, Kay and Gawain, all have giantish attributes (Kay's famous superpowers), have giants for relatives (Guinevere, in Welsh myth, is the daughter of Gogfran the giant) or are giants themselves.

Prince: Oh, so that means you're a giant, too? Jack: I guess? Prince: Cool. My Mother, the Queen, is a giantess as well. We're kinsmen! Jack: ... Prince: Also, my uncle can grow really big.

So Jack goes up to the giant's castle and knocks on the door:

So Jack and the Prince spend the night in the giant's castle while the giant himself is locked away. The next day, the Prince continues his journey while Jack promises to catch up after he deals with the giant. What's interesting here is that this giant isn't slain like the others. He survives, unlike Jack's other foes - which kinda puts more points to my theory that this really is Jack's uncle and Jack is a half-breed giant of sorts.

The giant wants to reward Jack:

These magic items are your classic fairy tale archetypal tools that have their inspiration found in earlier myths: You have your bog-standard cuts-through-anything magic sword (like Excalibur), the slippers are the "Seven-League boots" (Based on Hermes' winged sandals) and you have an item that confers invisibility (It comes in many forms: Hade's helm, Siegfried's cloak and even Arthur himself has an Invisibility cloak too)

Jack getting these items is a way to give your hero superpowers without utilizing... unsavory methods. That he's able to use these items despite belonging to - and presumably used by - a giant is never questioned.

Moving on, we get to meet the "Possessed Lady" Loholt the Prince was after this whole time:

Well that was rude. So naturally, the Prince despairs until Jack does something about it:

Methinks that this lady is actually a murderous sorceress and isn't actually possessed.

This is romcom material.

Lady: Um, what is wrong with him? Jack: *Puts on his Cap* ...Camelot, apparently...

So once again, its up to Jack to save the day.

Are you sure this Lady is possessed? Also, she's scolding Satan - definitely wife material Queen material.

And so, Satan was killed (lol), the Lady was restored to her former good looks (even though she was already described as beautiful), she and the Prince get married and Jack gets to be one of the Knights of the Round Table.

And that's the end of this section of Jack the Giant Killer's story and end of this post. Jack's story goes on for a few more episodes of giant-slaying before ending on your typical "...and they lived happily ever. The End."

I wonder what the usual cast's (Arthur, Guinevere, Merlin, Lancelot, Gawain, etc.) reaction to this story would be.

It's notable that (at least in the version I'm reading) this section with "King Arthur's Son " is longer than other stories. Moreover, no giants are actually killed in it. The "uncle" giant was merely hood-winked and Jack uncharacteristically spares him. The story is mostly about helping King Arthur's son woo a demonically possessed Lady.

[mareenavee]

34 and 5 for either Teldryn or Nyenna or both! They're so fun to read.

Hello, hello! :D These Skyrim OC asks are really fun, actually. Let's make this post go back around again! Game is here.

This'll be a fairly long one, with perhaps some things I've not spoken about much if at all for 5. (also some HC world things besides character stuff in there obviously lol)

Skyrim Asks for Nyenna, Teldryn & Athis (because I can) from my fic The World on Our Shoulders!

34. What is their most preferred weapon type? (Ex: Glass dagger, dwarven bow, etc)

Nyenna's preferred weapon is magic as we know. Specifically her Bound Bow which she learned early on with Farengar's help. In Whiterun, she trained with Aela often, if not daily, trying to get the hang of it. She's also not bad with Fire magic and Bound Swords.

Teldryn's preferred weapon is Chillrend. He's best with any one-handed swords. He is, after all the best swordsman in Morrowind. Probably in Skyrim too, to be honest, but I imagine he'd not want the province in any part of his title (: He's also not that bad with magic, though not nearly as quick about learning it as Nyenna can be. Oh what was that? How did he come across Chillrend of all things? Well! I might have a snippet for you.

“Are you going to tell everyone you meet who I am?” she asked as they began the trek out of town. Teldryn waved absently to a few of the guards who saluted him as he passed.

“I won’t have to after a while,” he said. “But no, like I said, Glover’s a friend and we’re Guildmates. He’d have found out from someone else anyway and been disappointed in me.”

“Couldn’t imagine why,” Nyenna muttered dryly. She waved dismissively. “What guild, by the way?”

“Thieves’ Guild, in Riften,” Teldryn said. He unsheathed the sword he carried at his side. The icy blue glass glinted, even with the clouds of ash blocking most of the light. “It’s where I got this.”

“Nice. It’s enchanted…strongly, actually. Frost?” Nyenna said, leaning close to examine it.

“Exactly. And Paralysis, sometimes. It’s named Chillrend. I got it off the corpse of some bastard who was harassing my friend and embezzling money from the Guild. That’s a whole story itself – and the reason I even got in with them to begin with,” Teldryn boasted. “Do you have a problem with thieves? Would you want to meet any of my friends in the Guild?”

“Well, no not exactly. Gods know I had to steal plenty to survive over the years. I don’t know that I’ll necessarily have…ehm…time for guilds, though. After this, eventually, I’ll need to go home and – ”

“You don’t look like the type,” Teldryn interrupted. Nyenna sighed.

“It’s my understanding that thieves generally…shouldn’t,” Nyenna said.

Athis is also fairly fast and prefers one-handed swords. He's terrible with magic, so he relies on his not-inconsiderable strength instead. He uses Skyforge Steel whenever possible. Usually a sword, but sometimes a dagger. He also carries a small hunting knife as well.

5. What were they doing before their adventure officially began?

Nyenna's adventure began, I think, the night she crossed the border into Skyrim. She had no idea of the kind of adventure she was stepping into, of course, or who she would become. But here's the events that led up to that catalyst.

The first being the night before Helgen. She and Eris had been moving under the cover of darkness from Bruma to try and cross the border into Skyrim relatively undetected. They hadn't slept in a couple days, having been spotted trying to resupply in town, despite not seeing any obvious in-uniform Thalmor. But of course, that doesn't mean anything. All it took was to slow down for a second for the Justiciars to find them and begin pursuit. It had been close, but at one point they believed for sure that they were on the other side of it. They didn't know that Skyrim was also swarming with Thalmor or much about the Civil War at all. There had been rumors, but nothing definite and no time to confirm -- at least not in Nyenna's case. We're not sure about Eris and what he knew. It must have been dangerous information, because rather than being captured, he was eliminated on sight right on the border in the middle of the night. All it took was one wrong turn, and they were cornered. Nyenna escaped by the will of one God or the next, and we know how this part of her story begins.

Teldryn had his life on pause, more or less, before Nyenna showed up and changed all that for him. He has a sort of innate restlessness that he tries and often fails to ignore, despite everything. That said, I do actually have a whole chapter about the few weeks of Teldryn's life before this adventure starts for him. It has one of my favorite titles I've ever decided on, too! He needs a whole post -- no, probably more like multiple one-shot stories to cover bits and pieces of his time before Raven Rock in 4E201-2, so we'll save that idea for later (:

And now onto the tea for Athis. We know what he was doing before Nyenna showed up. He didn't know how much his life would change just by rescuing her with the help of his friends, though. He was and still is a Companion. He'd been out with Vilkas and Farkas on the way home to Whiterun when she'd been attacked by Vampires. We know this. So how about further back? What about before Athis made it to Whiterun? What about before even his time in Windhelm? What about what things were like for him in Morrowind? Yes, I think that will do. I had hinted at this a little in a couple earlier chapters in his perspective, but he suppresses these memories as much as he can. Who wouldn't? This he hasn't even told Nyenna, his wife. He has secrets, too, and he tries hard to make sure they never see the light.

He had been part of the resurgence of the Camonna Tong in New Balmora. Not by choice. Never by choice. He would have died without their interference, though. He had been an urchin, abandoned as a child in the slums, left in the care of a shoeless priest and one of the last, last remnants of tribunal worship (though he did not preach by this point) who did whatever he could to feed the orphans of New Balmora. (This priest character, actually, is inspired directly by a one from a book. Kudos if you can guess which.)

The major point of no return happened to Athis when he was around 21 (so same lifestage of about 14 if he was human.) He'd been on his own for some time, but would share whatever he could steal with the other orphans and the priest and be on his way. Athis, however, was prone to illnesses of all sorts, mostly due to malnutrition and other such complications, so sometimes he'd still have to stay in the moldy, ashen basement with the other orphans. All of this made it hard to stay healthy enough to be as careful and quiet as he should when he could manage to get out.

On one such occasion, he'd been caught trying to steal from a mark who happened to be Camonna Tong, though he didn't know. It'd been a rumor they'd been back in business, but where was unknown to most by then. All young Athis knew is the man had money and that he was starving. Of course he got caught, and rather than being killed -- it wouldn't do even for the scum that the Camonna Tong are to off a teenager in the middle of the street -- he was brought into the guild and given a choice. Pay back for the crime or die a cruel and miserable death in the darkness.

It didn't seem like much of a choice. Except it would be a debt that none could ever afford to reckon with, and Athis wasn't even the only one in his exact same situation. What else could he do, terrified as he was? Work for them or die. And what if he tried to escape? He learned the hard way that even when you think you have nothing, they still can take things from you. The priest, for instance, was a casualty of his first escape attempt a year later. And that cowed him. He wouldn't be able to escape at all for another 8 years. 8 years of doing the bidding of a group of nasty, evil people. 8 years of blood on his hands, no matter how young he was. 8 full years of horror he'd otherwise forget. He did escape at great personal cost, because again, he wasn't the only one pressed into this kind of service, and allies outside of the Camonna Tong were hard to come by. He was the only one to get out alive, and only just barely. Thank whatever Gods would listen that it was nearly impossible for him to be followed the route he fled through. He faced mortal danger from both directions and somehow survived it all.

I think he joined the Companions because deep down he might still be trying to make up for what he'd had no choice but to do. Like if he could just do enough good, the darkness would disappear from him. All of it still lurks deep down, though. It can't be forgotten, as hard as he tries.

[floof-writes]

wwrr breaks my heart; you're very good at writing hurt no comfort! could i please request a fic about the palace of the four sword? whether that be legend going through it after the adventure (with his memories unlike wwrr), him recognizing the four from it and his reactions, the chain getting dropped in the palace, or the colors discovering their fate in some other manner, i can never get enough of the legend and four/legend and colors dynamic. ty in advance!

Hurt no comfort you say, anon? This ask touched on some old meta I’ve been thinking about for a long time about how in Zelda, sometimes a reflection means a perversion and sometimes it means a painfully accurate depiction. Literally I love thinking about it so much so thank you! I may even make this longer and post on Ao3 someday.

Title: Reflection

Words: 1165

Legend had known it would be a bad portal the moment he saw it sparking and crackling, but he still hadn’t expected to wake up in a body that was only his own on a technicality. Still groggy, he tried to get up, but his elbows weren’t bending the right way and his shoulders were in the wrong place and his hands weren’t even the- Godamnit. He’d have to wait for his hair to fade out all over again. 

For a moment he thought that Twilight’s pendant had somehow found him during the switch, but his first deep breath revealed the undeniable signature of the Dark World. He curled his ears and wrinkled his nose at the bitter magic thrumming through his skin and electrifying the tips of his fur, forcing his body to morph into an embarrassing reflection of his soul. 

It smelled like he was underground somewhere, and the echoes revealed he was in a large, mostly empty room. Legend inched forward, trying to find his bag and the Moon Pearls inside. His paw landed on a leather strap and he eagerly hopped forward, sticking his entire head through the flap. 

And well, that one hop changed everything because he’d just ripped open the pouch of pearls when the floor beneath him slid aside with a metallic shink, dumping him, his bag, and all of its contents unceremoniously into the abyss. 

Legend snapped a pearl out of the air just in time for his hylian spine to slam into a web of hanging chains and snap his jaw shut right on his tongue. Less than a second later he heard several bottles shatter and his ring box bust open on the floor beneath him.

Legend jerked, coughing the Moon Pearl into his hand before it could choke him or he somehow managed to swallow it. “Ugh, fuck!” 

“Legend?” someone said, their voice drifting down the hallway, and it took him a second to recognize it as Four because it sounded nothing like him. Gone was his usual quiet confidence, the controlled tone, slight smirk, and unreadable eyes that made it seem like he always knew something you didn’t. Seeing your soul for the first time could do that to a person, so Legend wasn’t too concerned. He stilled, letting himself dangle there for a moment as he stared up at the hole he’d come from, kind of wishing he could put this whole day in reverse. 

This room was well lit at least, and monster free too. He could clearly see the stonework, golden skulls, the single purple tile in the- Fuck. 

Legend surged upright but mostly just succeeded in throwing himself at the floor. He landed in a crouch, nearly ending up on his back again when his ice rod slipped out from under his heel. 

“Legend,” Four said again, a terrified question and a desperate lifeline all at once, a call for help and a clear show of vulnerability. Legend had the sudden, vivid thought that the secrets Four carried were now pecking at his lips and eyelids like a cucco until he admitted he was falling apart at the seams. 

Fuck, of all the places they could’ve ended up, it just had to be the Palace of the Four Sword, didn’t it? 

Legend reached down and began stuffing things into his bag, even though it was dripping with a dangerous magical cocktail of spilled potions and shattered glass. Legend slung his bag back over his shoulder and jogged down the hallway. “Four?” he called. He didn’t know what he expected to see when he reached the doorway of the Four Sword room, but this was the Dark World, and at first it looked pretty normal. 

Four was standing in the middle of the Four Sword room, looking painfully, hopelessly lost. Legend blinked, trying to focus on his friend when he realized his eyes weren’t the problem: the outline of Four’s body was fuzzy, undefined, as if trying to separate from itself. Legend recognized the magic of the Dark World trying to force his form to match his soul. It was insane that he’d held out this long already. 

A long time ago, in the absence of a pedestal, Legend had simply laid the restored Four Sword on the floor to rest. He almost regretted it now, seeing its gleaming twin on Four’s back compared to its own dirt, rust, and chips. 

But Four wasn’t looking at the Four Sword, at least not anymore. He was looking at the back wall, at the mural there that echoed the story told throughout the palace, carvings and inlaid color that must’ve been searing when it was first placed, because even now it was bright. 

In the mural, Legend was depicted in white, probably due to lack of options, and the darks were clearly shown for what they had been: the souls of the sword twisted and corrupted by the Malice in the Dark World. Some darks were simply reflections, Twili-born, undefinable without a counterpart in the light and intending to do nothing more than oppose them. But some were intentional perversions, Malice-wrought, caricatures of evil, intending to proactively sabotage a Link’s every goal in order to accomplish their own. 

The Four Sword darks had been the second kind, and that’s how Legend knew that Four was more literal of a name than anyone thought. Because he’d fought darks with Four’s face and seen multiple people opposite in existence, not just in action. 

Later he’d gotten dopples of his own, but he wore those bodies like a pair of shoes, each was just as much him as he was. He knew that with Four, it was deeper than that. 

Four turned to look at him, and Legend took a step back when he realized Four was not as whole as he seemed. His eyes were a kaleidoscope of pain, confusion, a tetrad of color harshly divided, even more vivid than the mural. “Do you know what this place is?” 

Legend swallowed and took a half a step forward. “It’s called the Palace of the Four Sword. We’re in the Dark World. The Sacred Realm was corrupted by Ganon in my era.” 

“Did I- we…?” Four gestured helplessly at the mural behind him. 

“The spirits of the sword were corrupted by the Malice here. They attacked me. They… they looked like you.” 

Four dropped to his knees, hand clamped over his mouth. His body fuzzed even further until he was barely recognizable and Legend surged forward, digging around for another Moon Pearl. 

Four grabbed his arm, looking up again with divided, teary eyes, but for a moment purple seemed to dominate. “How many were there?”

“How many what?” 

“How many darks?” 

“How many do you think?” Legend asked, trying not to let his fear show on his face. “Four, obviously.” 

Four sobbed loudly and Legend threw himself back from the flash of light. When it faded, Four was divided in much more than eye color.