#it just had to happen during a stressful time and when I'm hungry and tired

[colorfuldream]

Hey guys if there's any creator on here that may weight in on this vent it would be nice

So I have those stories. Premises are pretty generic dystopian stuff. Obviously there's going to be stories that are similar right? Well there's one, that some people I vaguely know have mentioned. I check it out because they praise it. I hate it for (very valid IMO) reasons. It goes against what what I want to write is about. So no problem right? No. There's a few things that are TOO close for my comfort. But it's stuff I CANNOT change. So me, in my entire mentally ill glory, get scared that when I finally do them I'll get compared to it and be called a copycat.

No harm though, I can just ignore these IF it ever happens yeah? The problem is that I, as an artist, am not good enough yet. Let's be honest I'm barely mid, especially with digital. So in my mind, it won't just be me being unoriginal and stealing stuff, it will be me doing a shit job at it.

Now, luckily, it's a story with a small following. No mass comments about it, no cancelling for being a dirty thief possible. It's even on smaller platforms!

But. There's always a but. The author didn't stop there, (and good for them!) they got picked up by a bigger platform for another story. Still, different audiences, different languages. The new story isn't what bothers me though. It's the fact that the English platform picked it up recently. So now they have an international audience! Good for them! I don't like their stuff but that's a great achievement!

Still part of me is upset and scared. That means they will now be more noticed. They might grow a bigger fanbase through this and, of course, they will check their other works. So That One Story may get more popular. And my (irrational) fears kick back in. I know it's petty and dumb. I never even really shared what I wanted to do anywhere, except maybe here in some tags, so my brain interprets that as a bad look. Like yeah no proof that it was planned even when I never knew of its existence. I'm going into overthinking mode. I thought I maybe had time to hone my skills and begin sharing it, maybe even build a small audience and get a person or two to know about it. Kind of a "well if they get picked up, at least I have some time to build my own foundation and I will be able to withstand comments". But now, I don't. And I don't have skills or the time to begin now. My mind is screaming that time has run out or that it will so I MUST either give up or do it. But my plans include that specific part of the story to arrive later. Later is too late though. I need the set-up, the practice! Yet it yells I don't have time. If I don't push it fast, I'll have to give it up. I need to get ahead and try to lessen the damage, build something before the other person gets more known and everything is ruined.

It's stupid, it truly is. There's no guarantee they will get that big. Well, I do wish for them they will, but you get the gist. There's no guarantee my stuff would ever be noticed or known either. There's no guarantee my daydreams will become real, good or bad. No one but me may ever make a connection, no one but me would think lesser of me for it, no one but me would dislike it.

Yet my mind is screaming, my heart is hurting. It feels like my dreams have been shattered, snatched away before I could even try. I'm angry. I'm sad. I have no idea what the Hell is going on.

[vin-taege]

i love your shower hc! anddd could you do a fwb chishiya? ly <3

For Your Benefit

Summary: Chishiya is your friend with benefits, and he may or may not have feelings for you.

Genre: fluff, smut

Note: I'm so bad at writing no strings attached content jsjs

your relationship initially starts out as Chishiya thinking he could manipulate you and use you for later

what he doesn't know is you're thinking of the exact same thing 

you struck up a "companionship" with him because you knew his wit could get you far into games

and supposedly, when the time was right, you'd drop him and never look back

all your interactions since were full of friendly-ish arguments and nagging (mostly from your side)

you haven't exactly hit his soft spot yet but he was growing to long for your presence

after a huge argument imploded between you two, mainly because of differing strategies during an eight clubs game, that's when it started 

despite his sharp tongue and your headstrongness, you found yourselves making out in his hotel room

which is unarguably the best way to diffuse the fight altogether

it was about time for you to find a way to relieve stress too

notably, there wasn't much aftercare

man gave you a glass of water then went back to bed 

the morning after, you didn't really talk about it

he didn't bring it up and you figured you wouldn't either

save yourselves from the awkward talk, that type of thing 

then after another stressful game, it happened again 

you were scavenging for food in an abandoned shop while waiting for hatter's car to come back 

after feeling a tap on your shoulder, you turned around only to find him staring at you blankly

the tips of his shoes were just about touching yours

then he pinned you to the shelf

since that incident, it was just another norm you've come to welcome in your "friendship"

expect an abundance of hungry kisses, a stark contrast to his calm demeanor 

he's surprisingly a giver, never neglecting foreplay 

he likes making you cum on his fingers at least once

generally loves seeing your thighs slicked up by your wetness 

doesn't get to eat you out much because of how frantic your fucking is

they're mostly quickies in empty hotel rooms, janitor closets, abandoned shops 

but when you finally get alone time thanks to the visa days you've saved up, his mouth never left your clit

you never left the bed that day, and half of the time, your legs were shaking

OH and he tries to be quiet as much as possible 

it's been your personal challenge to make a few moans slip from him

the best results were yielded from sloppy blowjobs and riding 

you've never seen his face when he cums

it's probably part of his ego thing to stay in control

either he buries his face in your neck or he finishes during doggystyle

over time though, you start to notice that he's slowly turning soft 

yippee, there's more than just a glass of water on your bedside table

there are also clean clothes now ! a pastry sometimes

he leaves a bath for you too

he just never cuddles

not yet 

he's also more protective of you, steering you away from Aguni and Niragi 

Kuina definitely knows what's up 

she gives you knowing looks but she doesn't say anything

you have a running joke now where she started leaving condoms around your hotel room

OK I JUST HAD ANOTHER EPIPHANY

chishiya definitely loves playing with your nipples

he likes how whiny and breathy you get

the sound of you alone makes his head swim

the first time you had slow sex was after you almost died in a seven of hearts game

some guy had wanted to sacrifice you and Chishiya tazered the shit out of him

when you went back to the Beach, he followed you into your room 

chishiya was kissing you gently, but you could feel his heart pounding in his chest

he took his time with you that night, trailing kisses all over your body and repeatedly asking if you were okay

it was early in the morning by the time you finished

you were doubly tired, but felt euphoric nonetheless 

and as you were falling asleep, you felt it

his arm wrapped around you uneasily

he was tense at first, then you shuffled a bit closer to him, a form of silent encouragement 

he held you tighter, pressing his chest against your back

and as you fell asleep you thought that maybe you could make something out of this after all

[gemini-sensei]

@sensei-venus I just got a chaotic af idea for gremlin!Reader. What if she had a cryptic pregnancy? (cw: birth scene, blood)

Like she never knows or even suspects it at all. Then one day when she's home alone, she starts having this awful tightness and pain in her belly and pelvis. Then it passes and she thinks it's okay, but it continues to happen again and again throughout the day. She hates hospitals and doctors so she refuses to go to one and tough it out.

When she realizes it's labor ain't and contractions, it's too late to do anything about it. She has to push. So as the boss-ass queen she is, she delivers her baby on her own. She pushes a good five or six times before he slides out onto her bed. She struggles to sit up but does it anyway to get her baby in her arms, pat his back, and get him breathing. He starts crying so loud that it shocks her. She gets him cleaned up as best she can and lays him on her chest, hoping to calm him down.

All these little baby delivery things she's learned from listening to Moon's midwifery stories. So naturally when things calm down a bit, she calls Moon and is like "Hey, so I just had a baby."

And Moon is like "Haha, that's so funny, Reader."

"No, I'm serious, Moon, I need you to come here now."

She speaks with a certain urgency that's far from her normal, playful tone. It's how Moon knows she's serious and she grabs up everything in her kit and goes to Hawk and Reader's house. Luckily she knows where the spare key is hidden and she gets inside. She finds Reader in her bedroom with the tiniest baby she's ever laid eyes on sucking on her tit. The room is a fucking mess, especially the bed sheets since they're covered in blood and other bodily fluid. Reader doesn't have anything to cut the umbilical cord with so she and the baby as still very much attached.

"Oh my god, how did you... oh my god." Moon can't contain her shock. She's only ever heard of cryptic pregnancies at this point in her career and she never imagined she'd encounter one.

Moon knows about Reader aversion to hospitals, so she doesn't even bring it up. She doesn't want to stress Reader out more than she probably already is stressed out. So she calmly comes over to sit beside Reader, gathers up the messy sheets, and throws them aside so they can at least get some clean sheets in there.

"Sometimes it's hard for first-time moms to get babies to latch on," she says, watching the tiny baby hungrily suckle on his mama's tit. "How'd you manage this?"

Reader kind of shrugs. "I don't know... when he started crying again, I just kinda knew he was hungry and did it."

Reader's voice is so soft and it's a different side of her that Moon hasn't seen before. She's still their gremlin of the group, she's sure, but Reader is so tired after the surprise labor that she really can't expect more of her. Still, Moon takes it as a sign that Reader is going to be a great mama despite not being ready for a baby whatsoever.

As Moon does everything she needs to - cut the umbilical cord, clean up Reader, check the baby - they talk about how this all happened. Reader explains how she had no idea about any of this, she never even had a suspicion. Then she tells her about how much it hurt, how scared she was, and how when she finally realized what had to be happening, she just had to do it. Moon tells her how proud of her she is for staying calm during the whole ordeal and how strong she is. Having a baby is a lot on the body and labor is intense, but she's done so well.

While she's checking the baby, he gets a little fussy when taken away from his mama. However, as soon as Moon starts talking to him, he calms down. He knows that sweet voice. This is one of his mama's friends.

Moon brought everything she could possibly need for the occasion and she's happy to report his good health. "He appears fully developed and perfectly healthy. Good job, mama."

She also brought a number of baby things for Reader, like a few clothes and a blanket, so she wraps him up to stay warm as soon as he's all checked out and cleaned up. Things calm down again and the pair talk about everything they can about having a new baby around. Then they hear the front door open and shut.

"Hey, babe! I'm home!"

It's Hawk. And it's at that moment Reader remembers how she never called or texted him about what was going on. She just took right to taking care of her baby boy and getting Moon over there.

Of whom, Moon jumps up and assures Reader she'll handle it. "I'll go tell him gently." Then she disappears and there's some light greetings to be heard.

Then Reader is pretty sure she hears Hawk faint.

Moon comes back in, grabs something from her bag, and exits again. She uses a smelling salt to bring Hawk back to reality and he jumps up.

"I could have sworn you said, with all the seriousness I've ever seen from you, that Reader had a baby."

"That's exactly what I said, Hawk."

She explains the situation to him before anything else happens.

When he brings her to the bedroom, he doesn't faint again. Instead, he goes straight to Reader's side as quickly and quietly as possible. "Jesus Christ, are you okay? Is the baby okay? I didn't even know you were pregnant- well I guess you didn't either based off of what Moon said, but still. Holy shit."

Reader states at him, then laughs. It's that chaotic laugh he fell in love with and he wonders what the fuck is so funny in a time like this, but also he's relieved because she's feeling well enough to laugh.

"We're fine, Eli... he's perfect."

She smiles and looks down at her baby boy in her arms. He stares up at them, taking in his pretty mama and handsome daddy. He's dressed in a green onesie Moon grabbed on her way out (I think she keeps all sorts of baby stuff to give to parents she works with in baskets she makes for them because she would so do that). It's a little big for him but it keeps him warm and that's what matters right now.

Hawk takes his little hand and holds it, staring at him with a still shocked but happy smile. "Hey there..."

While they're having their little moment, Moon starts filling out the birth certificate. She looks up ever so often to check on them, only to find Hawk holding Reader as they just admire their little one. It's so cute of them.

She stands up and brings the certificate over, showing it to them. She explains what they have to do and ends by saying, "You don't have to have a name for him now. Figure that out when you know."

"I think I know," Reader giggles, looking back down at her baby boy with a smile.

Hawk kisses the side of her head. "What's that?"

"Mason... Mason Elijah Moskowitz."

[swiftsdelucaa]

Great that you take requests!!! Can you do one with deluca where they are roomates and it's angsty and trying to make each other jealous to admit their feelings and they work together on a case... You decide you are a great writer do whatever comes to mind 🤗

❛ 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Andrew DeLuca x reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I REALLY APOLOGIZE IK THIS TOOK SO LONG SORRY!!! Now that school has finally finished and I'm free I'll come back posting all my requests I promise! Sorry again and thank you so much for this request, hope you like it :)

Today has already been enough stressful, the last thing you needed was facing another unbearable evening, like all the ones you and Andrew spent lately. Sometimes it was stupid shit over stupid little things and other times it was just unspoken tension.

Anyways you found yourself spending the rest of the evening alone since Andrew didn't come back, after dinner you watched some tv shows laying on the couch, waiting for him. It was about some hours later when you heard the door open and turned around to see Andrew walking in.

"Hey" you got up. "Late shift I see" you said looking at him.

"Well the shift didn't end very late, I've been at Joe's" he replied, taking off his jacket.

"Oh... You could have warned me" you did your best to hide the disappointment in your voive.

"I'm an adult, do I need your permission to go outside?" he asked walking past you completely neutral and sitting on the couch. You sighed at his words, when he talked to you like that he hurted you more than he actually could imagine.

"No, I'm just saying that you could have let me know that you wouldn't have come back" you then said. "I also left you something to eat for dinner"

"I'm not hungry, I've already eaten thanks" you walked towards the couch to sit as well, not very close to him.

"Ok. Difficult day?" you then asked looking at him noticing he looked pretty tired.

"Not really, I had worse days" he kept avoiding your gaze as he spoke. "But I met someone, that's why I was late"

"Good" actually it wasn't good. But at least he didn't bring anyone home not letting you sleeping the whole night. "But you know you can talk to me too when you have bad days.." you added as he only looked for comfort in other people lately. Girls.

"I'm not saying anything about all the times you did the same" his tone was really cold while he was pronouncing these words. You rolled your eyes as he was starting to get on your nerves again.

"Andrew, I'm just trying to have a normal conversation, what's wrong with you?" he finally turned around to look at you.

"With me? He raised his eyebrows. "You may not realize it, but you're the one trying to control everything I do, Y/n"

"Oh God" you sighed as you left yourself fall behind against the back of the sofa. It was happening again. And it was harder forcing this everytime with a person that you cared a lot and actually liked so much. "Not today please" you whispered.

"You started it"

"Ok, will it end like this every time we talk to each other?" You got up, standing right in front of him.

"Seems like you want to, you know, no one is forcing you to stay here and talk to me, you can just go and talk to some other guy if it makes you feel better" he got up as well as he said that phrase so easily. "I think Avery would be happy to spend some time with you" you looked at him in silence, the fact he kept talking about this topic annoyed you more, he's been doing the same.

"Oh yeah you what? I will also invite him here if I want to, maybe one of these days for dinner" You said sounding completely confident. Yeah, you were starting to get closer with Jackson, you dated just twice and for you had been amazing spending some good time during this period. Maybe Andrew's behavior pushed you to do it, like him, but it was all so confusing that neither of you would get out of it.

"Fine, I couldn't care less as I'll just spend my time anyone else who isn't my boss"

"Said the one who's been fucking the head of cardio during his whole internship" he let out a chuckle as this wasn't having any effect on him.

"If you wanna talk about the past good, but you should focus on what's going on now" he looked at you this time. "Which is that I would prefer staying with anyone else right now than here listening to you" You knew he had a few drinks and was tired, so you decided to end it before his words would have hit you harder than they already were.

You looked away and went to your room, you could feel his gaze on you as you walked away, but he didn't say anything else to try to stop you. He's always been your favourite person, your safe place, but now it was something you hated and it made you feel so bad.

The next morning you woke up very earlier than usual, you had the morning shift but decide to get up before Andrew and have a walk going to the hospital. You didn't want to see him now and preferred to get some air. The city in the early morning it's something that hits different. After you took some time for yourself you arrived to the hospital and put on your scrubs. Some of your friends noticed that there was something wrong in your mood, but you just denied it and continued to focus on your work, then you found out that you and DeLuca were both assigned on Dr. Robbin's service.

"Amazing" you muttered to yourself in a sarcastic tone before walking in the patient's room where Andrew and Arizona were already waiting. You could feel his eyes on you for almost the whole time, this killed you. Before surgery you and him were alone scrubbing in together, the longest 5 minutes you've ever spent. Sometimes it seemed like he wanted to say something and break that silence, but nothing happened and the desire to disappear when he was around you increased more. You've been studying for this surgery a lot and you wouldn't have let distract yourself by worrying what was going on Andrew's mind everytime he looked at you. At least not now.

Time flew and you made it, luckily both of you stayed professional. You weren't sure if you now were ready to talk to him, but you haven't seen him anywhere after the surgery finished.

When you finally left to go home your attention had been caught by the sound of a horn, you looked up and noticed Andrew's car parked not very far from you. It was evening and you were too tired to walk home, that's why you decided to go to him and got into the car.

"Before you say anything, just caus-" you've been cut off by him kissing you, he grabbed your neck softly, closer to him and pressed his lips on yours in an intense kiss. When he pulled away a little smile lit up your face without you even realizing it.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. "I gave my worst all this time and I've been feeling like shit, you're the best thing that I got and I've just rejected you... really I'm so sorry, it's not true that I would prefer you to leave or spend time with someone else, I would do anything to have you with me" hearing these words made you feel the best ever, you've always felt the same about him. You smiled at him and he couldn't help to do the same. "Even if it's been all so stupid and confusing and well we acted like two babies sometimes.." you both chuckled softly. "I didn't want anything or anyone else, I just want you" his eyes softened and you smiled more.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I've wanted to hear it from you all this time" you approached to kiss him again. "And yeah I want you too" you whispered in the kiss.

"Uh huh, fine, now stop talking" he smiled and kissed you back as intensly as before, his hand through your hair.

Finally all your days and evenings would have been definitely so much better from now.

[maykitty]

Trafalgar Law x Pregnant!Reader: Christmas Time (One Shot)

Warning: body image issues, fear of cheating, miscarriage, and being left behind.

Background: You and Law have been married for a while. Now your life is going to be bigger with the arrival of a child soon. You are 7 months pregnant and it is Christmas day. Law is spending time with you but as you get the news the straw hats are coming to visit your worries about your life with Law start to catch up.

Y/n was decorating the tree while Law was helping with the cooking. Her belly was big and heavy with a child. “Y/n you should sit down I think you decorated the tree enough,” Bepo said. “Lunch is ready” Law shouted. Since you became pregnant Law and the crew have been keeping a close eye wanting the baby to be safe. Everyone sits down for lunch while Law helps you into a seat next to him.

“I help the chef make safe recipes for the baby,” Law said rubbing your stomach. The crew is eating the tasty food especially you are enjoying it due to the baby making you hungry for more. “Purururu, purururu, purururu click” “Hello” Law answers the den-den mushi. “Oh Traffy, we are near to meet for Christmas party” Luffy shouted on the phone. “Ok, you don't have to scream in my ear Strawhat-ya”. Law said back annoyed.

Strawhat’s ship arrived at your home base you moved into after becoming pregnant. Nami and Robin hug you congratulating you on the baby. Everyone was having fun and talking during the Christmas party. You looked for Law but he talking to Robin. You don't know why but you always get worried about seeing them together due to people thinking they are dating because Law wanted to keep your relationship secret only to your close allies due to fear someone could use you against him.

It didn't help that Robin was a big-breasted skinny long-haired goddess of a woman. While you were walking around with a large stomach and chubby thighs looking all gross due to the baby keeping you up and tired. It made you feel lesser during the pregnancy. It didn't help that as you were researching in your early stage you found that pregnant women suffer from being cheated on by their partners this didn't make you feel any better that Law was close to Robin who is not carrying a baby in her like you are. You need to get rid of these thought since it making you feel depressed and that is not good for the baby.

You don't want those thoughts bothering you and making you stressed. When you got pregnant you were afraid Law would be angry but he was happy you were having his child. You did everything it make sure your baby is healthy. But you had fears that grew as you got further in the pregnancy like what if you miscarry as it is common and unpredictable would Law hate you and leave you if it happened? What if, after the baby is born he gets tired of you and leaves for Robin?

These thoughts started to take over no matter how hard you try to ignore them and you start to feel sick thinking about it. You walked to the bathroom to puke out your lunch and looked in the mirror at yourself feeling grossed out at your body changing. Law was talking to Robin about his fear of becoming a parent when he saw you going to the bathroom and excused himself to check on you. “Y/n-ya, are you ok?” Law asked behind the door. “I'm fine, just some nausea” you respond.

“May I come in?” Law asks, you open the door to let him in. “Sorry, I felt sick and needed to get away from everyone”. You said in a sad tone. “What's wrong?” Law asked worried. You decide to tell him about everything your jealousy of Robin, your worry about how your body has changed, your fear of losing your baby, and him leaving you behind. “I'm sorry Law, I don't know if I will be a good mom with everything bothering me,” you said feeling more doubt.

Law walks over to you and hugs you. “I will never cheat on you and Robin is only a friend like the rest of the strawhats are” Law tries to make you feel better. “When you told me you were pregnant at first I didn't want the baby but then thinking about raising a child with you that we made from our love made me reconsider.” “No matter what happens I will always love you and be there for you”. He added. “Stop saying all that bad stuff about your body you look amazing to me since day 1.” “when I saw your stomach growing and you caring for our unborn child makes you more beautiful” he finished. You cried in his arms feeling relieved from his words and thank him.

You two hold each other for a while before going back to the party. Everyone came over to see if you were okay and if you needed anything for the baby. “Well I'm a bit hungry,” you said feeling the baby wanted food. Sanji gives you a delicious bowl of food and the rest of the crew go back to enjoying their Christmas. A few hours later, the party ends and strawhats leave.

Everyone else was getting ready for bed. You put on your pajamas and get into bed with Law joining you. He started to rub your belly again and kiss you as the two of you lay in bed together. “Merry Christmas, y/n - ya,” Law said after the kiss. “Merry Christmas, my beloved,” you said back as sleep take you while in Law’s embrace this Christmas night.

[keeponquinning]

I bet JQ would know exactly how to fix a bad day. Imagine coming home to dinner already cooking and the bathroom ready for you while he finishes cooking. You could just totally forget about how bad your day was

I had to eat and be human again but yes??? fluff ahead. established relationship.

Just Joe knowing how stressful your workload has been lately, from the little texts you're able to go back and forth on during your breaks, that aren't really breaks, but working lunch because it's just been you on these days. When you get home and your brain is just a loud buzzing noise, just numb, just so tired, thirsty, hungry, and body sore... You smell his cooking straight away.

Your stomach growls, actually growls because it was craving the actual sit down and eat meal he could deliver. Your lunch at work was quick and easy, and interrupted almost every time you took a bite and was rushed. Nothing to savor or enjoy, but Joe? Cooking your favorite meal? His eyes would find yours as he turned his head from the kitchen, the sight of his smile made you want to weep.

"Go on," he said, nudging his head toward the bathroom. "Food's not done yet, but, I've ran you a bath. Still hot, still bubbling. Sit your tired body there while I finish, yeah? I'll check in on you when it's done."

Not even needing to be talked into it, your shoes being the first to slip off you, aching feet appreciating you for it. You're almost giddy as you get to the bathroom and see the grand bath tub of your dreams filled with water, bubbles, and your favorite scent hitting your nose. A cheese and fruit plate right beside it, he had timed it so carefully, and soon your clothes slid off and piled neatly to the side, and you sunk in.

He was right, the water was heated still, and perfect. Enveloping you in a warmth that melting the fatigue and frustration of the day straight away. Sinking underwater, submerging fully before rising up again with a sigh. Aching muscles seemed light, and you let out a sigh. You sit there for a moment, just enjoying, basking in it all, and then you start indulging in the snack your boyfriend laid out for you. It was understood you were meant to savor it, yet your hungry stomach practically devoured, smiling softly as the sound of your playlist started, knowing it was his doing as well.

You drifted off for a bit, coming to when you felt his lips at your cheek. Opening your eyes to see him chuckling softly, knelt down beside the bath tub, looking at you with those warm brown eyes. "Enjoying yourself? Should I be offended I put you to sleep?"

He laughed more as you splash him, chuckling right along with him. "Shut up. That's so not what happened..."

"Mm? What happened, then?" he asked, tease in his voice, his smile, his eyes, propping his chin at the rim of the bath as he looked at you with the most adoring eyes.

Taking in a deep breath, turning your head to look at him with a smile, "Just you being annoyingly perfect, that's all."

"Oh, annoyingly perfect?" he asked and you hummed in response. "Is your day better, though?"

"Very." It was his turn to hum in response, mockingly, which made you smile more. "Almost perfect."

His brow furrowed, raising his head, a look of almost offense on his face. "I'm sorry—almost perfect? How do we do away with that almost bit, then?"

Another hum flowed from you, your eyes looking over at him, over his clothes...

"....just want me for my body," he let out with a teasing pout. "Luckily... I'm fine with that, hey," he lets out, lifting his shirt over his head. "Whatever makes my girl happy, yeah?" His face seems to brighten as you whistle and laugh at him, lifting himself up and undoing his pants. Doing away with his clothes as hastily as he could before making an absolute mess as he dove right into the tub with you. Not caring of the mess, the furthers from his mind as his arms wrap around you and kissing your face. A flurry of kisses. All to just make you squeal with laughter more and more, because that's what he strives for. To see the smile on your face, hear your laugh and as he settles close to you, both of your smiling lips meeting each other in kiss after kiss...

What he loves the most is taking your bad day away... Casting it out.... And making it a good one by the end. After all, you've done the same for him so many times... He doesn't know if he could ever truly match up to the joy that you bring him every day, but damn, he's willing to try each and every time.

[mlmxreader]

Something Is Always Better Than Nothing | Tommy Conlon x gn!reader

anonymous asked: Tommy Conlon: Hello, hello! I hope you're doing good 🖤. May I please ask for a little something using the following prompts for my sweet baby Tommy Conlon X non-binary, male, or gn!Reader: "Shit, it’s cold"

summary: a late night visit in a dire situation forces Tommy to withhold his own anger for a while.

tws: swearing, vague/brief mentions of violence

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

Tommy welcomed you into his flat with not quite open arms, wondering mostly what the fuck was going on that you were banging on his door in the middle of the night and wearing your pyjamas; he didn't think much about the suitcases you had, or the fact that you looked so fucking exhausted and miserable.

He didn't think about any of that, not even when he got you to sit at his breakfast bar and drinking a coffee. He could see you visibly shivering, and guessed that it had something to do with the fact that you were wearing pyjamas in the middle of the night during September.

He shrugged it off.

"Shit, it's cold," your teeth chattered as you desperately tried to warm yourself, rubbing your biceps with a slight vigour in a vain attempt to warm up. "Are you not cold?"

Tommy shrugged, leaning on the breakfast bar opposite you; bent over slightly, his vest rode up to reveal that he had been wearing Batman themed boxers. Usually you laughed at that. But you were so cold and tired and stressed that you just didn't think about it.

But Tommy looked at you closely, studying you for a moment; something was wrong, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He knew that you would tell him when you felt ready, so he felt no need to pressure you by asking for any information. You just took a swig from your coffee and exhaled harshly when it burned the roof of your mouth slightly, making him laugh.

But even still, something told Tommy that there was more to it than you were letting on. You seemed stressed beyond belief, wringing your hands together, trying to hold down bile-laced burps, trembling hands and jumping when he accidentally knocked his knee into the cupboard.

You knew he would never hurt you, so why did you flinch?

He sighed, licking his lips as he dared to furrow his brows and clear his throat. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

You shook your head. "Tom, please… I've got nowhere else to go and-"

"You can stay," he said, shaking his head. "Of course you can stay. We're partners… and it means I don't have to ask you to move in."

"Thank you," you breathed out, some of the tension dropping from your shoulders. "Really. Thank you."

Tommy shook his head again, chewing at the inside of his lip and gently pulling some of the flesh away as he swallowed thickly, audibly gulping. "I don't know why, but I can see you're scared… you're safe with me."

You glared at him for a moment; he had seen that glare so many times. Deer who had been hit by cars being put out of their misery and knowing what's about to happen. Sheep about to face the butcher's knife. Tommy had seen that fearful, wide eyed glare before.

He didn't want to know why you looked at him like that; he knew if he did, he would end up storming out and making sure that the person who caused it paid ten times over.

He knew that look, and he hated to think that it was you who was wearing it. He clenched his jaw tightly, biting back the urge to say what he really wanted to - the urge to promise you that he would sort it, he would make sure no one ever scared you like that again.

He narrowed his eyes a little.

"You hungry?"

You nodded. "A little…"

"I haven't got much," he started, hoping he didn't sound as angry as he was, "mostly soup, Mac and cheese, canned stuff. Eggs. Cheese… I can make you an omelette?"

You nodded again, daring to smile weakly. "That'd be great… just cheese, though, please."

Tommy hummed as he smiled. "Yeah, sure… two or three eggs?"

"Just two," you said quietly. "I'm not… my appetite doesn't really exist at the moment… long day, too much shit."

"Yeah," he breathed out, clearing his throat. "Yeah, that's fine, baby. Don't worry."

Tommy wished, more than anything, that he could change things. That he could make you feel safe and secure with him, but he knew that some shadow was haunting you and was preventing you from being able to see that properly, shrouding your eyes; it wasn't right.

You and Tommy had been together for years, ever since your last day of secondary school together, it wasn't right that some evil bastard had made you feel unsafe even when you were with him. He really fucking hated whoever did it, although guessing from your demeanor and your appearance, he could guess who it was.

He silently promised himself that if he saw them when he was out, he would make sure that they never hurt you again. Never. He would make sure of it.

It wasn't right that some bastard had made you feel like that, even he knew; Tommy was far from the best partner, he fucked up a lot and he made a lot of mistakes - but he never hurt you… except the one time he accidentally kicked you out of the bed when you had been staying the night. He never hurt you intentionally.

He never raised his voice at you, never withdrew his affection, never turned you away except for the time he had the flu and didn't want to kiss you for fear that you would get it, too. He would never. Tommy loved you, and you loved him just as much. He couldn't believe that someone had been allowed to hurt you and no one had done anything about it.

But, his main focus for the night was you - he cracked the eggs in the pan, starting to cook them, and he smiled as he looked at you. Sound asleep on the breakfast bar. Tommy would wake you when the food was cooked, but for now, he could at least take some comfort in knowing that you felt safe enough to fall asleep.

That was something, and something was always better than nothing.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw// teen pregnancy scare, light mention of sex

I just need to let this out i feel so alone.

Uhm. I'm horrified. For context, I'm in high school. I have an older boyfriend and we had intercourse twice recently. He was my first. We didn't use protection, he pulled out. I'm not sure why I agreed. It's so stupid. I guess I'm just young and naive. I've been hypesexual my entire life and just needed to feel something.

I'm supposed to get my period tomorrow though it tends to be one or two days late at times. I've been sick, like a cough/virus which has nothing to do anything but now i can't figure out if my symptoms are overlapping with..early pregnancy. Because generally when i cough a lot my gag activates, I've had that problem since covid and the pandemic. So if I throw up i have no proof of what it is. I'm also supposed to be in PMS which would explain the symptoms AGAIN and my paranoia as I get really really emotional at this time. So now i have to suffer and wait out the next few days.... My bf knows and I feel bad for stressing him out. I can't tell anybody else i know irl. Obviously because I'm still at school and plus most people don't even know I'm in a relationship, including my parents. My parents think i haven't even had my first kiss and the thought of the possibility of having to break THESE news to them is terrifying.

(slight tw for a mental breakdown here)

When i was looking at early symptoms i was home alone and i had the worst breakdown I've had in over a year or ever actually. I was screaming inside my room. I stared punching my gut hoping that "it'll" just... go away somehow. I can't have this child. I do not want to. Not now. Not ever, actually. I always said I'll never have kids for so many reasons including generational trauma and my own mental issues. I feel kind of sick today but i felt even more yesterday because the night before that I was at a concert and got really tired, and slightly drunk. So many possibilities and I'm paranoid over the worst one. I feel so fucking stupid. If i find out it's true I don't think I could take it. I'd break apart completely.

hello this is the pregnancy person again. I would like to update. I realized that i cloud be having an anti-placebo (or nocebo) effect from the fear of pregnancy. Because as soon as i read that i felt better physically. And the more i read about the symptoms yesterday the more i "noticed them". Now I'm just hungry because i didn't eat lunch yet. No nausea. And then another thing happened.. I saw blood on my underwear. And now i have no idea if my period is early or if that's early pregnancy bleeding… Of fuck me here we go again. I'm losing my mind and patience…

hey, pregnancy anon here. Got my period. We're good.

Hi anon,

Please know that your concerns about what happened are absolutely valid. It's common to become very health conscious and worry when you rely on the pullout method, especially when you begin to notice signs that you may be pregnant (although it sounds like you aren't, fortunately). This experience highlights the importance of having some kind of protection or contraception during sex, at least so you can have some peace of mind.

I don't know how long you've been with this boyfriend or if either of you have been tested, but because you've had unprotected sex with him, I strongly recommend looking into getting tested for STIs. Even if you aren't showing any symptoms, some STIs can lie dormant in your system and you can also become a carrier (meaning you carry the STI and can transmit it but don't show symptoms). I know you said you're in high school so if you're 18 you may be able to book an appointment with an OBGYN yourself. If you're under 18, your school nurse may have some recommendations.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Ashes to Ashes

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

I want to call Finnegan about five times throughout the day but I resist.

I want to know how he is but calling him won't help... he's busy and stressed and has enough going on.

I'm sure his cell-phone is blowing up and he knows to call if he needs me.

I get home and decide to make dinner just in case he comes back hungry.

If not... I'll take the rest for lunch tomorrow.

It's almost dark when he calls.

"Hey darling."

"Hi Emmett, can I stop by?"

'Huh? Why is he even asking?'

"Of course."

"Okay, be there in ten minutes. Thanks."

That was succinct and impersonal but I can tell from his voice that he's exhausted.

I put Marten back in his cage and clean up the mess he's made.

I open the door to a very weary boy.

"Rough day, huh? You look tired."

"I am. I just need to get my stuff."

I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Your stuff?"

"Yeah, my clothes. Please don't make this hard."

What am I making hard?

"I'm not, I just didn't know what you were talking about. I thought maybe you had work stuff here that you needed. Why are you taking your clothes?"

He sighs, then manages a smile.

"Don't take it the wrong way, I just need to simplify right now and living out of two houses isn't going to work. I need all my shit in one place so I can function."

He's making no sense... He's obviously putting in long hours and must expect to be pulling a lot of long days... But still.

"Why not come here?" 

It's closer.

"I can't do that, it's not fair to you, Emmett. I'm going to be too busy. I can't climb into bed at two a.m. and get phone calls in the middle of the night and mess with your sleep, that's just not fair. This is your house and I... it's just easier if I stay at my apartment."

"No it's not. If you're going to have limited time, which sure seems like the biggest problem, you should come home to dinner, a little fun when you're up for it and a clean bed. I can do your laundry, pick up your dry-cleaning and whatever else makes things easier. Are you even going to have time to grocery shop? Do you have any idea how many times a night I got woken up during the army? I am very good at getting back to sleep. Don't worry about that. I'll lose a lot more sleep worrying about you."

"I can't, please? I may be going back to Michigan next week, at least for awhile and I don't even know if I'll keep my apartment. Movers may be coming and I just need everything together. I'm sorry. I... I'm doing everything I can to make this work, I am."

It doesn't feel that way from here and I am not that far away.

"Fine. Will you at least send me a text if you leave the state?"

Now he looks sad.

"Don't be mad at me. I don't want to go. I just need some time to try to work some magic. I'm getting pulled in a hundred directions all at once, Emmett."

Which is why he needs me.

"I'm not mad. I'll help you pack."

He really doesn't have all that much here and I'm not sending the toys or his toys home with him. Just before I open the front door I tell him

"If you change your mind, you have a key."

"Wait... I should give it back to you."

That's it... now I'm pissed.

"No. Not happening Finnegan."

"I wish I could stay," he almost whispers.

"You CAN," I don't yell, not really but I'm frustrated and it shows.

"I still have work to do, I have to finish a presentation for tomorrow."

"Fine, you wanna do that now or after I make you feel good?"

He's smiling.

"I can't tell you how much I need that, how much I need you right now and to focus on something other than the real world but there's just too much to do. I have to go. If tomorrow goes well, maybe we can get together this weekend for a bit."

I guess that's better than nothing. Right now, I'll take it.

"Sure. Anytime."

He kisses my cheek which is sweet but not nearly enough.

I want him riding me... I want to hear and feel him coming undone... I want to taste him.

"Bye."

He turns, opens the door and is gone and part of me can't help but feel like it's forever.

I'm not sure what I'll do with myself if that boy runs home to Michigan.

[tirelesslytenderthoughts]

it's january. never too late to have loosely set my goals for the year. i rarely have problems following them but problems may arise inevitably throughout the year, hence, most of the time everything will eventually be forgotten.

as i age, my goals have been more practical. i don't remember what i had for myself last year but this year, because of the podcast i listened to during lunch, i managed to narrow down mainly 2 things. realistically speaking, this is what i have in control by far and should be controlled, if anything.

1– sugar. i want to make it a habit to be disciplined and aware enough of what i'm putting into my mouth and stomach. i love all things sweet, especially during my menses. though i don't have it everyday, that's where the problem comes. times when i feel i should be rewarded of any stress i endure, i get myself some sweet treats. that's not right! never have been! 'once in a while' has become 'every other day'. the way i see it, sugar is like a drug that gets one addicted. also concerning that it's available everywhere and there's no restriction for the intake unless you strictly set it yourself. worst-case scenario, you're admitted because of diabetes. game over. i might also want to be mindful of my protein intake, especially during stressful time that i prefer not to eat or i don't feel hungry. these are all because i firmly believe that in order to make good decisions in life, i must be healthy. if i'm not healthy, poor decisions get in the way. i cannot afford another bad decision. you see, i don't have a problem working out, doing cardio and all that. if you call me for a jog, i would be ready right away. and that's also a problem since i don't have a fixed timing for workouts. because of my can-do attitude and rarely feel tired for outdoor activities, i feel like i can always workout anytime and it never happens when that free time comes. i currently don't have the headspace to fix that so what i shall do now is to cut sugar, especially in beverages in order for me to start consume healthily.

2– what i say. i'm unlearning a few things that i'm used to. certain habits are hard to break, especially when i don't realise i have it in my system. i'm impulsive with what i say and i'm convinced that that's because i want to be heard, and it has got to stop. i must take full responsibility of what comes out of my mouth. in the past, i selfishly thought that so long as my intentions are pure and since i never want to hurt anybody with what i say, the aftermath is for them to deal with. so long as i got it out of my chest because i wanted to be truthful. took me a humble experience for me to unlearn this. not every truth should come out that instant, sometimes whenever i feel like i should say something, i just take a step back and recalculate. this happens whenever people i love come to me to rant. but now that i look back, some experiences are for them to learn, to navigate their way through. a better listener is what i should be. i aim to be a bit more guarded.

funnily, to be concise, i'm controlling what gets in and out of my mouth. both would save me from troubles. i like that my goals are getting smaller and more sensible.

let this year be clear-sighted for us all.

yours, x

[pokedocbedlam]

Comfort Food for the story thing

Alright, here's something soft and sweet for ya', anon!

---

It is two in the morning in the aftermath of nightmares and an ensuing panic attack, and all Emmet can think to do is make mac and cheese from a box.

"We used to eat this all the time, when we first left home. Simple enough that either of us could make it even when tired. Those were busy days, starting out at the station. But we were happy! We were finally working with trains!"

Ingo hums in response, still not fully present. He's got a blanket wrapped around him with only those glassy gray eyes poking out like an off-model Swadloon. Emmet isn't sure how much of this conversation his brother is actually retaining, but he's here and he's home and that's what matters in the end. The rest will come back in time.

"Sometimes, when days get too stressful or we feel upset, we make some of this. Helps us feel better to remember those times and all we've done to get here. You like to add toppings to yours, but I'm afraid I don't have any right now. I hope you won't mind." Emmet knows he doesn't need to stir the macaroni this much, but it keeps his hands busy. It's a night where he needs to keep busy and pretend he can do something useful for his twin.

"It's fine, Emmet. I wouldn't even know what I'd want to add." Ingo shifts, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looks so...small, curled up at the kitchen table like this, especially with that slouch he's developed. "You shouldn't have to do this. Not that I don't appreciate it. But you have work in the morning. You should be sleeping."

"I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep anyway. And I'm hungry! So it works."

Better than eating it alone, as he so often had during Ingo's absence, doing all he could to trick his mind with nostalgia and pretend that Ingo was still around, just temporarily out of sight in another room. Sometimes, the smell of the nostalgic meal wafting through the apartment had hidden the absence of Ingo's particular mix of cologne, metal polish, and cleaning products. That illusion never lasted long. Still doesn't, even though Ingo has returned; he still doesn't smell like himself, too much like dirt and salt and toxins.

"...What else would we do, when the world felt like too much?" Ingo asks. His voice is so much softer than Emmet remembers, especially this late at night, but the words themselves still carry. "I could never remember how, back...back then. And so this keeps happening. Everything builds up until it boils over. It is not healthy."

"A bad habit we've always shared. We've always had to remind each other to detour and rest up." Emmet certainly had his share of meltdowns during Ingo's absence, and he'd still had his coping methods and others to look out for him. It must have been hard for Ingo not to have that. "Let me think...you'd often curl up with a weighted blanket to sleep when you felt too stressed. Or with a Pokemon. You preferred Excadrill or Chandelure."

Ingo says, "That explains why I always slept better with Lady Sneasler and her kits. Even if the little ones liked to climb all over me while I slept." Emmet chuckles at that mental image, even if the Sneasles Ingo talks about are far different than the ones he's familiar with.

"Let's see, what else...we always like documentaries. Or reading. You always liked fiction, reading about other people's lives. Said the perspective helped, made it easier to determine the status and significance of your own train by comparing it to others. You'd..." Emmet pauses here. Doesn't want to add pressure with the expectations of what they used to do. "You'd read to me, sometimes. Not that I can't on my own, no, but you liked to share the stories you loved, and I always enjoyed listening." There had been many nights curled up on the couch with their Pokemon as Ingo read a book in his low rumbling voice. It had made all their problems seem so far away.

"I see." Ingo's frown deepens into a grimace, the kind he gets when failing to remember something once so familiar. "I don't even recall what my favorites were."

"I do. I could read them to you. If you'd like." Emmet knows his voice doesn't narrate quite the same, but for Ingo, he'd try. "Ah! We are verrry close to ready. Where did the measuring cups end up..."

Macaroni out to drain. Moomoo milk and butter into the pot, let it melt and warm. Emmet's hand hovers over the bottle of hot sauce they'd usually add. "Do you still like spicy foods?" Ingo muses a bit before nodding. Emmet adds a few dashes before mixing in the cheese. Stir the macaroni back in. The movements are practiced, marked by years of making this small but comforting thing. The first meal they made for themselves upon moving to this city. A fallback when a more ambitious recipe failed. Last-minute meal after grueling shifts, made while falling asleep on their feet. Sometimes just because they felt like it. It's never been a fancy meal, but it's theirs, and sometimes that's enough.

Emmet scoops their portions into plastic bowls and passes one to Ingo. Ingo examines the bright orange concoction curiously; it must look far different than anything he'd had back in Hisui. The older twin slowly emerges from his blanket cocoon to grab his fork, prod the bowl, and take a bite. Emmet waits, quietly, unsure what to expect.

Ingo sighs in contentment. His particular brand of half-smile sneaks onto his face as the tension eases from his shoulders.

"It's good?"

"More than good." Ingo takes another bite. "I...don't remember anything explicitly. But it tastes...happy."

Emmet would normally tease his brother for such a sappy phrase. But this time, he gets it. "Yeah. It does."

[soft-boi-eli]

Helloo! Could I ask for cc!SBI x GN! Streamer Reader during TwitchCon (I'm not from the US nor Europe so I probs won't be able to go next year, but at least the thought of it seems nice)? Thanks, and remember to stay hydrated! <3

Yes. And I will keep hydrated. Sorry if it take a bit I want it to be as good as possible.

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing, mentions of anxiety

Not proofread.

Why is there a tag limit of 30?

Best friends are family.

The flight over was he'll. Leaving you tired and jet lagged as you wandered the air port.

You were to meet up with four people. As you had been a part of a huge server with them.

Not only did you guys play minecraft together. You had streams where you just talk, anwser questions, play little games with them. Even just had one of your guys just talking to the other person while they streamed. It was the only relationship you had. They were your family. Well best friends.

But that doesn't matter right?

When you finally locked eyes with this brown haired guy, glasses, quite tall, looked quite like one of your four friends you immediately froze.

This was real. They weren't fake.

"Techno?" It was quite and was nearly drowned out by the sounds of the air port.

But the brunette looked your way. Eyes widening slightly as he had seen your face on face time before. You two were faceless streamers. Or nearly faceless. Only really showing your faces on huge achievements or to people you know. So most people didn't know what you looked like.

"(Y/n)?" Nodding to him you smiled under your mask.

He had a smile in his eyes as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Let's get out of this crowd. Phil took tommy and wilbur outside since they had a long flight." you both weaved through people. "Understandable. I mean look how many people exsit here." You spoke.

With a chuckle he lead you to the exit. The two blondes and one brunette stood near the door, obviously kind of relived from being out of the crowd.

"Look who I found." Technos voice brought the other three to look in your direction. "Hey! (Y/n) have a nice flight mate?" Phil's question was heartfilled but honestly you didn't want to think of the horrid experience.

"Not too bad not too good. Hopped on the soonest plane. And dear God it was hell." It was obvious by your tone that you didn't want to speak about it. So they were quick to shift the subject.

"So the b&b you're staying at? Where is it?" You looked at tommy confused. Didn't he know that you all are going to the same b&b?

"Same one as us tommy. Did you even listen to us on the flight?" Wilbur spoke up before you could deliver your sarcastic comment.

"Really? Didn't expect that." Tommy seemed confuses. Rolling your eyes at the teen you spoke. "Ah yes let's send one of the most socially awkward people out to rent a room in a b&b alone. How smart." Getting the hint tommy chuckled at the sarcastic comment.

"Oh yeah. I forgot that you had that bad of anxiety." Looking back to him with a 'bitch really?' Look he laughed. "You forgot I had crippling anxiety. It took what? 5 months before I started to fully talk to all of you? It was literally just you guys talking to me until one day out of the blue I started talking back." As you spoke you guys got to technos car.

As techno had driven here he was the one that was driving you the the b&b. No need for rental cars.

"So, (y/n), Phil, tommy, wilbur. Have do you guys wanna pick up some food first? Or nah?" Techno was quick to ask. And having a hungry teen in the car it was automatically a yes.

The day flew by. Jokes were told, food was eaten. And naps were quick to happen.

But that all came to a hard stop. TwitchCon. You weren't on the main panel like most of the others. Having been just added and just climbing up. But you did have your own meet and greet station.

And that was enough to pick at your anxiety.

But you decided to breathe through it. Hoping to get through this and live another day.

What helped was the fact that not many people came up to you. Having no idea if you were the real one. But when you got to your booth hell rang loose. You were now confirmed to be the real you and people wanted autographs, photos, videos, little trinkets you ended up selling.

It was not as bad as you thought. Not many people pushing past your boundires.

"Omg it's (t/n)! (Twitch name) they are so cool can I go say hi!" The younger child was quick to rush up to you as their parents nodded.

"HI! I wanted to say i love you and your content! I was wondering if I could get an autograph. Also how do you do it? How do you look so genderless!" This child was going miles a minute and honestly it was one of the sweetest things. "Well it takes years of work and finding what's best. here's your autograph. Would you like a photo?" They nodded so fast it was almost like their head was going to fall off.

Laughing lightly you wrapped an arm around their shoulder and they wrapped theirs around yours.

Their parents were quick to snap a photo and call their child back to them. Not wanting to take up too much of your time.

And to you luck the four boys you were waiting for had arrived. Relife.

You smiled and waved them over. "(Y/n). You seem happy." Technos voice was calm.

"Just a very kind and energetic fan. It was nice too see someone like them." You looked in the direction of the kid. Noticing something you hadn't before. They were bald. Looked kind of sickly. And seemed kind of off. Excusing yourself you grabbed something from under your table. One of the many stuffed animals you had onder there with a embroidered signature from you. It was a little stuffed snow leopard.

Rushing to find the child you tapped their shoulder. Turning around they seemed confused. "(T/n)? What are you doing over here shouldn't you be over near your stand?" You smiled under your mask.

"You seem to be going through something and I wanted to make sure one of my number one fans had something special to make them feel better. Here you go. My channels mascot with an embroidered signature so you will always remember to fight on Cub." Your followers are known as your Cubs. And this one was a special one. They made your day.

Now it wastime for you to make their day.

With gentle hands they took the plush to their chest tears in their eyes. They latched onto you as they cried softly. Rubbing their back you saw the parents tearing up. Their mother pulled her mask down mouthing thank you then pulling it back up quickly.

Nodding gently you hug the child lightly. Letting go slowly you look at them. "I belive in you. So you take these words. Fight on. Never give up. You are one of the strongest people I have seen alright? You're gonna make it through this no matter what." Patting their head you smiled as they nodded.

There was a new spark in their eye.

This powerful Cub. Phil and the other came up behind you. "Hey there mate. Having a good time?" The child seemed so happy.

This is what you guys were here for. To see these joyful expressions. To make your fans happy. To give them some kind of escape.

There was no way you'd let anything get between you and your fans. No matter what.

I needed wholesome.

So I apologize for this taking so long but I was stressed about other things and that caused a chain reaction in my life. But next week I should start school so that's a plus.

Also when I do start school again imma be working slower. And I do apologize about that.

I'll try my best to get more of these out. So E.

Anyways hoped you enjoyed.

-Eli out!!

[soyouthinkucanwrite]

The money thing (part 1/2) - Daniel Ricciardo

It's always the little things, isn't it? The smallest stupidest things make almost no difference and then make all the difference in the world. They make everything special, but they also have the power to tear everything appart.

You and Daniel fight about money for the thousand time and he's had enough of it.

Warnings: super angst, but with a happy ending :)

Guys, this turned out WAY BIGGER than I expected, so I'm just gonna do a part 2, okay? Okay, thanks for understanding!

Song that inspired me: A list by HVOB

You and Daniel had been dating for a couple months now, having met through a common friend and hitting off almost instantly. You lived in Amsterdam and he, well he lived all over the world really, but his "time off" (meaning not racing) was spent between Monaco and London (for work), and Amsterdam now too, of course.

The changes were small and subtle at the beginning, like your weekends being spent traveling to meet him wherever in the world he was and consequently spending almost all your savings on plane tickets. You never complained to him (you planned on spending the money traveling anyway, so you didn't see the point), but didn't accept when he offered to buy your tickets, either. There's been some awkwardness around the subject but it usually died on its own.

*beginning of flashback*

"You’d have gotten here in time if you'd gotten the early flight like I told you" you remembered him saying that time you got in the paddock after the qualifying session had begun and couldn’t kiss him good luck.

"Baby, I told you. It was crazy expensive! Absurd even!"

"(y/n) for god's sake! What are we saving money for? I told you, you have my credit card number, I've offered to get you one, this is ridiculous, I can't believe I literally earn millions and my girlfriend wasn't there with me because the ticket was too expensive! I'll fucking fly you private if I have to!" he was almost yelling in his driver's room. You could only stare from the corner.

He took a deep breath running his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It's just... it was crap out there. I needed you" you grimaced at his words.

"Sorry. I really am..." you tried to approach him. "I'm here now?" you touched his arm. "It can't have been that bad, you're still on the top 10 and we both know what you can do from the 8th car..." you smiled at him.

*end of flashback*

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

The thing is, you always had trouble dealing with money. Sure, you liked to pay for your own stuff so as to not owe anything to anyone (especially boys), but it was so much deeper than that. Ever since a kid, you hated asking for money from your parents, and sometimes even the thought of buying stuff that was a bit more expensive made you sick. You couldn't explain why, you just felt guilty having so much and knowing that most people have never even seen that amount. It's not that you didn't want to spend it and save for the sake of it, you just didn't handle the idea of money very well. Needless to say, dating a millionnaire was bound to cause trouble in the relationship for you.

You were currently at his place in Monaco. It was the summer break and you had decided to spend some days just chilling at home, just the two of you - which you were glad since going out means hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes... and, let's be honest, the kind of places he usually took you is not the kind of places you just throw something together last minute (the Instagram models and other driver's girlfriends looking you up and down were enough to make you think about spending money you did not have to hire a stylist or something like that). The whole situation was really stressing you out and you knew you would have to be honest with him eventually, instead of only dodging the subject and refusing most of his offers to pay. You tried to. You kind of tried. You suggested staying at home, in bed, most of the time, and he gladly agreed, but that strategy wasn't gonna work forever. You had to be honest with him. But at the same time, you knew what he was going to say and do, and the thought of him spending money on you, even if just by handling the restaurant bill, wasn't something you were much more comfortable with. Besides, it was only a matter of time before the "gold-digger" term starts to fly around in the small world that was the F1's.

You were laying on his couch, the Olympics playing on the TV but you were too busy overthinking the money thing to pay attention. Daniel was laying with his head on your lap, absently caressing your thigh and watching the TV. His phone went off and he moved to pick it up.

"Hello?" you watched as he answered the phone. "Hey mate, how's it going? Uh nothing, we're just chilling at home. Getting some rest... Yeah, I'm getting rested, you dirty-minded son of a bitch" you rolled your eyes while he laughed out loud on the line with someone. "Yeah, I know... the 19th is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Alright, mate. Thanks for calling. Have a good one! Bye!" he hanged up and leaned in to peck you on the lips.

"Good news?" you asked him.

"Not really. Just wanted to kiss you" he shrugged, smiling. You smiled back and hugged him, pulling him in for another kiss. He was always so caring with you, always finding an excuse to kiss or touch you. You knew some people didn't like it, but you loved it. Physical touch was definitely one of your love languages.

"What's happening on the 19th then?" you asked him once you guys set apart from the kiss.

"Gotta be in London. Gonna run some testings and other boring race stuff..."

"Hum..." you hummed in understanding.

"You know what would make it less boring though?" he asked and you just looked at him, you already knew what he was going to ask you and it wasn't that you didn't want to spend every minute of the day with him, but you simply couldn't afford any more traveling, especially not in such short notice. "If you came with me. Huh? What do you say? A week in the Queen's land? Then we can fly together to Spa and after the race, I can go with you to Amsterdam. The next one it's the Dutch GP anyway, I'll just get there sooner" he laughed. It was crushing you, the man of your dreams was literally beaming at making plans with you, talking about spending the next few weeks glued together and you couldn't say yes.

"Dan, I have to work" you smiled sadly.

"Can't you work from distance? Or, I don't know, I mean... I know it's tiring, but you could come to London and fly home a bit early, then just meet me in Belgium?" great, his solution includes even more flying. And the thing is, you really didn't mind the flying. You always slept during the whole thing anyway, so you never got tired and the jetlag was minimal. You could work from distance, sure. Your boss wouldn't mind, as long as you got there eventually to check in on everything. But the whole logistics were just too expensive. There was no way you could afford it.

"I... sorry, I don't think I can" you said sadly and watched as his face dropped.

"That's fine, baby. I get it. I'm asking too much, all this traveling... don't worry about it" he tried to mask his emotions but you knew better. He knew you could in fact work from distance, so he was probably thinking the reason you couldn't do it was because you didn't want to.

He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you couldn't help but bury your face in your palms. This was so frustrating!

"You wanna go for a run or something? Maybe get something to eat?" he called from the kitchen, already moving on from the subject. You knew this whole thing was only gonna keep build up till he got tired of your excuses or you blowing up, probably the former, but you just keep going.

"Yeah, sure" you answered, getting up from the couch.

You and Daniel were both very active so going for a run, hiking, riding bikes, or whatever in the middle of the day was really routine for you. The Monaco summer weather was as beautiful as always and the sun was shining bright. You enjoyed the rest of your afternoon racing each other, kissing in the harbor, and just taking in the views, spending quality time together. Money wasn't even a thing in your bubble for a while.

"I'm getting hungry" he said on the way back home.

"Me too, and I'm super hot. I could go for a juice or something right now" you were all sweaty from the running, but you didn't care, he was too.

"You're always hot baby, I don't think juice gonna help with that" he grinned at you and you just rolled your eyes at him.

You passed by one of his favorite spots for food, nearby his place and he suggested getting some take-out, to which you agreed.

"Green juice, and a chicken wrap?" you tried to decide while the both of you waited in line.

"I'll never understand how you drink that"

"I've seen you drink that too, it's actually very refreshing"

"Because I'm forced to, I'm a high-performance athlete baby. But I'm on a break, so I'll have a coke, thank you very much" you laughed at him. He was holding your hand and tried to kiss you, wrapping his arm around you, you didn't dodge his kiss, you would never, but still laughed at the fact he wanted to kiss the sweaty mess you were right now.

"I'm gross, only you" you laughed.

"That's my baby, with no makeup she a ten" he rapped shrugging and grinning.

"Alright Lil Wayne, I know that one, don't even finish the verse" you laughed at him, making him laugh out loud, getting everyone's in the restaurant's attention.

"It's true, though"

"Sure..." You just shook your head smiling. Then you heard someone call his name.

"Hey! Daniel!" you both turned around to see Charles and Charlotte sitting in a corner, him waving at you two. You had met Charles a couple of times before but never spoke too much to him. They seemed to be leaving anyway, so they walked towards you guys, instead of towards the door.

"Hey mate, how's it going?" Daniel greeted him with a handshake. "Hey, Charlotte! You know (y/n) yet?"

"Hi! I don't think so, hi! How are you?" she greeted you smiling.

"Hi! Nice to meet you. Hi, Charles!" you said.

"Hey, (y/n). You're keeping him in line during the break? Char won't let me cheat my diet either" he laughed.

"Oh, that ship has sailed long ago! Daniel will just roll into the paddock if it's up to him" you laughed back.

"Hey! I think I've earned the right to some extra calories, we've been working out extra hard lately" Daniel said waving his eyebrows suggestively, making Charlotte giggle, Charles rolls his eyes and you go even redder than you were from the actual workout, while he just laughed out loud.

"I don't even want to know" Charles said. "Always great running into you mate" he was getting ready to say goodbye.

"Are we seeing you guys tomorrow?" Charlotte asked you.

"Tomorrow?" you asked her.

"Stefano's birthday" she said like it was obvious. Stefano Domenicali was the President and CEO of Formula 1, but you didn't know that yet - still, her tone made it seems like it was someone Daniel knew, so you just looked at him. He just rubbed his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, wait. Please tell me I didn't just said something I shouldn't" she looked at Charles.

"No, no. He invited me. Us, actually" Daniel reassured her. "I don't think we're going though, forgot to mention to you" he said looking at you.

"Uh mate, I wouldn't skip that if I were you. He didn't even invite all the drivers I heard" Charles said. "Maybe just stop by to say hello?"

"Stop by... a yacht... at the sea?" Charlotte said grinning at him. Daniel looked at you.

"You feel like going? It should be fun" he asked you.

"Sounds fancy... I mean, I don't mind if you go" you said.

"Common... I’m not going alone" he nudged you.

"I don't even have anything to wear, Dan" you told him.

"Oh! We can go shopping together!" Charlotte said and you had almost forgotten they were still there.

"Perfect!" Daniel answered for you. You could only imagine the types of stores she shopped.

"Tomorrow morning, then? Daniel can text your address to Charles for me? I'll pick you up!" she was being really nice about it.

"I thought you wanted to go today?" Charles said.

"That's when I thought I would have to go shopping with you, so I could use the extra time since you're the worst shopping partner ever!" she laughed at him.

"Burn!" Daniel laughed.

"His fashion taste is not the most reliable, let's face it" she laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's a date then (y/n)?" she looked expectantly at you. You didn't want to let her down, it was so hard to make friends with the girlfriends of other drivers, they were usually so... not nice. You could always just help her and find something to wear in your own stuff later.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow, at 10?" you said simply.

"Perfect!" she beamed.

>>> end of part 1 <<<

[i-like-sparkly-things]

Beautiful?

A Halstead!Sister

'But they don't know. They don't know what it's like to be you. They didn't know what it was like to wake up everyday, to a body you never asked for.

A body nobody wanted.'

Warnings : eating disorder, body insecurities, body dismorphia

Requested : Yup, by anon , 'could u do a fic where she has an eating disorder? and doesn’t tell jay but then one day she passes out at school and has to tell him?'

Word count : 1.7k

Note : this took too long I don't know why 😭but yall Guess who's thankful that yall bear with my English ? me. :) and ps this is my first request!! And yall please please know that all of you are so freaking beautiful and worth fighting for. Know that you are loved and it is never, ever weak to ask for help.

**************************

The constant pain and sleepless nights were paying off. Your eyes sparkled when you saw your new numbers. It was working.

You took your diary, crossing out breakfast on the to do list after eating a banana.

This was going to be simple. check what you eat, check your weight and repeat . You knew that if you tried really hard, you would be the one in control.

Control. That's all you wanted. Such an easy, yet painful thing.

You looked to the mirror, as your hands hovered over your ribs sticking to the skin . You'd never felt so beautiful in your life. But your eyes roamed down to your thighs. The flesh of your legs were touching. It wasn't enough.

It was never enough.

'' Y/n , come on ! Move your ass! I need to get to work!! '' Jay shouted for you, from downstairs.

'' Shut uppp I'm comingg'', you yelled back.

Ever since your mom had died, dad always kept to himself leading you to stay with your brothers. It had become a routine. Jay  would drop you off at school and Annie's mom would give you a ride home.

Lucky for you , Jay was constantly busy with cases. He hadn't noticed your new diet or the mood swings.

**************************

Your teacher had started the lesson. And slowly you sensed something wrong. Your head was pounding. God why is she so blurry? You look to Anne sitting next to you and she's Blurry too. You felt your body giving up to the swaying ground.

'' y/n!! '' Annie shreiked as your limp body crashed to the floor.

****************************

'' Chuckles!? '' Trudy called out,climbing the stairs to intelligence. "Do I look like a cocktail waitress to you? Where have you been??"

"Morning to you too, sarge" Jay sighed. "and its detective"

" Well , Detective , Y/n fainted at school and wanted you to pick her up"

"What ?" he asked shocked, aldready beginning to pick up his jacket.

"Sarge" he said, looking to Voight for approval, although he would leave nonetheless. "Go."

*****************************

"Mr. Halstead" the school nurse addressed him, as he entered the clinic.

"Call me jay. Y/n, are you okay? what the hell happened?" he asked you worried.

You had never fainted before and apart from the flu every couple of years, you had a clean bill of health, as far as he knew.

"Jay, I promise I'm fine. Just got a little dizzy, that's all" you answered knowing how overprotective he can get. Now all you could hope for was that he would let this slide.

"I tried getting some food in her but she told me she was fine" the nurse explained to Jay.

God No. the the salad she offered you had so many calories.  you had made too much progress nothing was going to stop you especially a simple fainting episode. It was a minor setback but you were sure you could continue your weight loss diet.

" What, WHY? " he questioned, but just  as you were thinking of a better reply " You know what, I'm gonna take her home." he interrupted your thoughts as he spoke to the nurse.

" Only if you are sure, you're good"

" I am Jay. One hundred percent." you replied, happy to skip the rest of the school day.

It's not like you've been paying attention any ways. You'd zone out a lot during class and  your constant hunger and cramps didn't help either. But you drowned these feelings away with small sips of water and occasional slices of cucumbers.

You Craved the Emptiness. the feeling of being lighter. The feeling of being....... perfect. It was intoxicating.

Taking your school bag, Jay wrapped a study arm around your shoulders , guiding you through the school corridors and towards his truck.

"God, I can't wait to go to bed", You said climbing the truck and fastening your seat belt.

"Yeah right. I'm taking you to med" he stated. "WHAT? Jay, what the hell ? I told you, I'm fine!!"

You knew Will was working and didn't want either of your brothers to know about your new diet or how much weight you had lost. It was too late to quit. The disgusting image in the mirror was slowly getting better..... getting thinner, prettier.

"You've never fainted before Y/n, and I promise I'll get Will to run the exams and do all the tests" he assured you.

****************************

"Y/n, I thought I told you I never wanted to see you here again.", Maggie greeted, pointing a finger at you.

"Awwww  but I missed you", you pouted, " No don't do that. your brother's waiting in treatment room 3 so you better get going." she instructed and you dropped your school bag near the nurses station.

You and Jay enter the room, to a very worried Will. "Y/n, what happened?" he asked , gesturing you to sit on the bed.

"did you hit your head when you fell? Did you fall in the bathroom or something like that?", he continued, not giving you time to answer.

"what did the nurses say? are you stressed about school?" " Will-", you interrupted his rambling " I'm fine, just..... got a little dizzy."

You watched , as he took his pen light to your eyes. "Ah! Will, stop!!" You said, trying and failing to refrain him.

"You know, it'll be easier if you stop squirming" Jay commented with a smug smile. "Your not going anywhere"

"Shut up" you groaned.

You need to get out of here. What if they gave you food. What if they found out you were hungry all the time. They'd never stop making fun of you. They'd tell you that you were overreacting and that all this was so unnecessary.

But they didn't know. They didn't know what it was like to be you. They didn't have floppy arms or fleshy thighs. They didn't know what it was like to wake up everyday, to a body you never asked for. A body nobody wanted.

******************************

"Jay" Will called out, seeing him outside your room. It had been a couple of hours since you were bought in.

Will had ordered some tests, being the ass he was.

Wonderful. You just hoped that all the tests would be normal and you could get the hell out of there.

"yeah man? just needed to text Hailey, Why, what's wrong?" Jay asked, studying the worried expression on his brother's face

"It's Y/n. "

***************************

You were fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt when your brother's walked in, staring at you, as if you were a ghost.

"Y/n," Jay croaked out his voice laced with dread, "how long?"

No. No. No. This can't be happening. God, you knew that they were going to hate you forever.

"what the are you talking about?" you needed to try to get them to back away."Is something wrong?"

They were standing on either side of your bed. Jay came closer and sat down on your right the beside your knees, eyes never leaving yours.

"Your tests-" Will started, "They came back showing you have severe deficiencies. That your body is struggling to survive. That it's not getting enough food." he broke away from your gaze.

"We um-" Jay, as if almost on queue, continued."We looked through your school bag and found your diary. "

You sucked in a sharp breath and shook your head. No. He knew. They knew.

All your calorie counts, the amount of calories you can have in a day, your research on diets, workouts, to do lists, hell, even your Period Tracker was written down. (although you barely had it anymore)

That book was the reason you were finally becoming happy with yourself. Your body.

'I'm sorry', you mouthed "I'm so, so sorry" This was it. Your voice hitched, as tears flowed down your cheeks. "I was finally happy"

In an instant, your brothers were by your side.

Jay engulfed you into his chest, your words circling his mind. 'Finally?' God, you lived together! You were his sister! His baby sister! How could he have let this happen to you? How could he not have noticed that you were drowning? That you were starving yourself. What kind of brother was he?

Will rubbed your back, until your sobs became quieter. He was a doctor. A damn doctor! God knows how long this has been going on, but at the end of the day.... he failed. He failed to be there,..... when you needed him.

"Y/n, you don't have to do this. You're beautiful Y/n. You really are. And I'm sorry that anyone else has convinced in otherwise" Jay breathed out, hoping you heard him, in his embrace.

"It felt good, Jay" your voice was muffled by his shirt, but to your brothers, your voice was loud and clear.

"Did it?" You turned to Will, "Did the hunger feel good?" his heart broke saying the words out loud.

'Yes', you wanted to answer. Of course it felt good. You were getting so many compliments from your friends at school. Boys started acknowledging you now.

It was like you finally existed. You felt...... worthy.

But with all the strength you could muster up, you couldn't get the words out. Because there was always one voice that told you to quit. The voice you'd been drowning out for so long. The voice that told you, that you were in fact, beautiful.

Your mother's.

"No" you said, realizing that Will had tears in his eyes as well.

But you couldn't find a hint of shame in them, no matter how much you searched. Instead, you were met with the immense worry and guilt of your brother.

"We can help, Y/n" Will said, as he took your hand in his, "We will help and we'll be there every step of the way."

"Every step" Jay assured and you turned to him. "All you need to do, is let us in"

You weren't prepared for this. You had no idea what to say.

You didn't want to feel tired all the time, always craving for food. But the idea of going back - back to all that shame - that's what scared you.

"Y/n," Will spoke up, seeing as you were struggling to answer, "I promise you, we are going to make you feel better...... and we'll fight those thoughts of yours together."

You took a shaky breath.

Thoughts.

Your thoughts.

You had let them consume you for a long time now. Too long. maybe..... Maybe the right voice to follow, was your mothers'. "okay-" you sobbed, "okay", and once again you found yourself in Jay's arms.

You, clinging to him like your life depended on it and him holding you tight, because it did. His hand rested on your head, tangled with your hair.

Will saw a tear make its way down his brothers cheek, something he hasn't witnessed often.

Your brothers sat silently, listening to you cry. Taking in the conversation, only having a glimpse of the pain you were in.

You had a long, long road ahead but as you sat in your brother arms, you felt a sense of peace, comfort maybe.

******************************

Masterlist

[peanutpinet]

Lucas (mafia leader) x Reader (female)

A/N: I had this thought for days now and was like, ya know, just let it out. This is my first NCT (?) WayV (?) fanfic? Scenario? Yea XD For those who have read my past fanfics/scenarios, you know how horrible I am in explaining XD but yea, essentially I just imagine that you, the reader are a uni student whilst Lucas is part of the NCT mafia, "leader" of the WayV unit (I know Kun is technically the leader, but just for the sake of the story), okie, leggo

Sighing in defeat, you gathered all your books, stationery and some clothing before sneakily going out of your dorm and to your boyfriend's apartment since he gave you the spare key, saying that it was for emergencies or whenever you wanted to come over.

After texting Lucas that you were heading to his apartment, you went to grab a cab and head there. Truth be told, you never really went there and only got the address from Lucas. Which is why upon arriving, your jaw nearly dropped when you saw his apartment; even making sure whether the address Lucas gave last time was the exact one and making a mental note to yourself to look up things beforehand.

Upon arriving, you felt like you just came from the countryside to the big city. You went to the front desk and inform them who were you looking for, handing in your ID card and was immediately directed to the elevator, one of the securities pressing the highest floor of the elevator and left you in the elevator on your own.

Just when you thought that it couldn't get any fancier, the minute you stepped out of the elevator, you were amazed at the decor and the fact that there was only one door made it even grander. Taking out the key Lucas gave you, you were actually hoping that it wasn't the correct one and Lucas just sent you the wrong address but as it turns out, the key fits and you took a deep breath, walking into the room.

But on Lucas' side, he actually didn't receive your text message. So, the second he heard someone coming into his suite, he was already reaching for his gun because he wasn't really expecting anyone to come. But as soon as he heard your signature nervous voice, he felt relieved but worried at the same time. Did something happen to you?

"Lucas? Ar-are you in here? The people at the front desk just directed me here. I uh sent you a text" you called out

"I'm here sweetheart. Now, what brings you here at this late hour? Is there anyone I should be concern with?" Lucas stated, coming out of his bedroom

"Huh? Wow. I mean, no. Sorry, it's my first time here. I uh, I was just wondering if I could stay for the night. The dorm was so loud that I couldn't study nor sleep" you admitted, trying to avoid eye contact with Lucas, thinking that it was a lame excuse to come over

"Of course you can. I gave you the spare key for a reason, didn't I? Uh, sorry about the mess and all. I didn't expect you to come. I didn't receive any messages. C'mere sweetheart" Lucas mentioned, giving a hand motion for you to go to him

"Really?! I could've sworn I...(looks at your phone) I forgot to click the send button" you sighed, hitting your head as you went over to Lucas

"Hey, hey. Don't do that. You'll hurt your brain even more. No harm sweetheart. My place is yours. Come. I'll order some McDonalds as well if you'd like" Lucas cooed, bringing you into his office

"Damn. Two desktops?! Bro and this processor is the latest one?!" you commented, placing your bag down and immediately inspecting his desk

"Sometimes I play some games with the guys. Feel free to use it if you'd like. Lemon tea or coke?" Lucas asked, scrolling through his phone

"Lemon tea, no ice. It's worth the money better. Are you sure I can study here? Am I not disturbing you?" you questioned, sitting on the chair

"Not at all, sweetheart. It's almost 10pm. I'm done with work. You're free to use my computer. I've ordered your favourites already. I'm going to go for a shower for a bit. Feel free to turn on some music as well, alright? And please don't study for too long. I worry you'll hurt that gorgeous head of yours" Lucas chuckled, kissing your forehead before leaving you in his study room

After settling, putting on some music with your account (which was already in Lucas' Spotify), you grabbed your books and stationery then started to study for your finals. In the midst of it, you heard Lucas coming in with McDonalds; wearing a plain T-shirt and sweats.

Because there was only one chair in his office, with your consent, Lucas placed you on his lap as he was feeding you McDonalds whilst scrolling through his phone, occasionally leaning his head on your back as he does so.

After finishing the food, Lucas was about to get up and cleaned up so you could study a bit better since he knew you didn't like a messy space but when he felt your head slightly leaning backwards, he questioned whether you were already sleepy or not.

"What's wrong love? Tired?" Lucas murmured as he placed his chin on your neck, wrapping his long arms around your waist

"Huh? Oh? Sorry. I didn't realise I was leaning back" you yawned, scrubbing your eyes but Lucas stopped the motion

"Don't. Your eyes will get irritated. I think it's about time you sleep, hmm?" Lucas commented, tucking a hair behind your ear as he kissed the side of your cheek

"Hmm. I guess so" you sighed, leaning onto Lucas's chest

"Alright princess, let me just shut everything off. Kay, let's go to bed" Lucas chuckled, carrying your small figure in his arms and tucking you into his bed before going to the other side of the bed

The next morning, you were woken up by the sound of your phone's alarm but just stayed in bed whilst scrolling through your phone until you realised that you had exams that starts in 45 minutes. Immediately, you got up and went back to the study room to grab your clothes, without even calling out to Lucas and head to the bathroom to get ready.

After getting ready, you were so ready to rush out the door and call a cab until Lucas finally called out to you. Once you told him that your exam was starting in literally 15 minutes, he just chuckled and told you that he'll drive you there; which was a first since all this time, you guys just have dates near your campus since your dorm had strict rules and Lucas would just walk you there (A/N: how you guys met is a story for next time, lol).

After packing some food for you, Lucas grabbed his car keys in one hand and your hand in the other, making your way down to the parking lot where your jaw also almost dropped again since the car Lucas owned is probably enough to pay your whole entire undergraduate life.

Whilst in the car, Lucas told you to eat so you wouldn't be hungry during the exam. He also mentioned that he'll come to pick you up to celebrate finishing your finals since he knew that you've been stressing over this last final for weeks; saying that he'll treat you out.

Once you've arrived, Lucas pulled you to give a slight peck on your forehead, encouraging you to do well in your finals and that he'll see you right after you're done. You smiled and thank him. Getting out of the car, you saw nearly the whole campus that was by the front gate staring at you; even your friends were stunned before rushing to you, managing to get a glimpse at Lucas who just smiled before leaving.

"Gurl!! I knew your boyfriend was hot, but well off? You definitely hit the jackpot!!" one of your friends blurted

"Sis!! Can we save the conversation for later? I need to get this exam over with first" you bargained

"Okay, okay, good luck with your exams!! I'll see you later!!" your friend exclaimed as you went to your exam hall

Thankfully, the exam wasn't as hard as you'd thought. You didn't know if it's because Lucas actually helped you study since he actually knew the subject or something else but you were glad to finally be done with it. After the exam, you got a text from Lucas, saying that he'll be running a bit late which you didn't mind. Your friend, who was also done with her exam, came to your exam hall and didn't spare a second before plastering with all sorts of questions.

Asking you where you've been the night before since you weren't at your dorm; and when you told her you were at Lucas' place, she squealed, asking if you guys did anything spicy which you immediately cut her off, saying that you just went there to study because the rooms near yours were getting too loud and rowdy.

You also explained how kind and caring Lucas was; despite the amount of work he had to deal with, he was still soft when it came to you. Ordering your favourites from McDonalds, letting you just barged into his apartment whenever and even using whatever he had; hearing this, all your friend can do was just squeal, saying that Lucas was the perfect boyfriend.

And right on cue, Lucas texted you saying that he's almost at the front gate. Your friend saw your smile and teased the heck out of you before letting you off just because she supported your relationship; knowing that you had a rough past and it was nice to finally see you happy with someone; someone that genuinely cares about you.

But of course, life ain't that easy. Because just as you were skidding along the halls to the front gate, you accidentally bumped into someone and dropped your phone. You immediately apologised about to get your phone when the person you bumped into stepped on your phone. Looking up, you met with the campus' miss popular with her boyfriend.

"Can you please let go. I really have to go now" you sighed, looking up

"Can't your boyfriend get you another one? Oh wait, is he the one that you're meeting? Honestly, I dunno what he sees in you. Oh wait, I think I do. He's probably just in it to play around or probably did it because of a bet" the girl scoffed but you were just not having it and shoved her feet off, nearly falling if it weren't for her boyfriend being there

After getting your phone, you were about to make a run for it before she grabbed your hair, pulling you back and making you fall; calling you names and all. When you got back to your feet again, she nearly slapped you when you got ahold of her hand about to push her back when her boyfriend came and took your hand, twisting it behind your back, allowing an opening for her to get a good punch out of you.

It felt like forever since you were trapped between the two "bullies" of your campus and for Lucas, it meant something was wrong. It's been almost 30 minutes since he arrived and called you but there was no answer at all. Frustrated, he called Winwin to track your phone as he went in to find you; thinking that you were held captive by one of NCT's enemy.

When he did see you, he felt a slight relief that it wasn't one of NCT's enemy but he was still very much pissed at the sight. When the girl was about to hit you for like the 15th time, Lucas grabbed ahold of her arm, throwing her to the floor before looking at her boyfriend who turns out to be one of the bartenders in one of NCT's bars.

"B-boss..." the man stammered, letting go of your hand as you almost dropped if it weren't for Lucas catching you

"You better come to work tonight. We'll have a lil discussion about respect? Hmm? Make sure everyone comes. Or I'll just have to report Taeyong about this" Lucas growled, making the man cowered in fear

"N-no sir. Everyone will come tonight" the man stuttered as Lucas stood up, holding your figure firmly in his arms

"Good. Wouldn't want to make a big deal out of this hmm? Oh, and do bring your girlfriend while I take mine to treat the wounds you both caused" Lucas scoffed, bringing you out of the campus

Once you've reached his car, he gently placed you and put your seatbelt on before going to the driver's seat. Once he was in, he called Kun, telling him what happened and that he's planning to have a meeting later tonight in the bar. After the call, Lucas took your hand in his, stroking your knuckles as he drove back to his apartment.

Upon arriving, he helped you get out of the car and into his apartment. Inside, he brought you to his room before going to the bathroom and grabbing some medicine for your bruised face and cut on the lips. Lucas treated all your wounds as gently as possible, worrying that he might accidentally hurt you, treating you as if you're as fragile as an egg.

After he was done, he threw all the cotton buds and ordered some food for the both of you; knowing that you will tell him whenever you're ready. He put his hoodie onto you before bringing you to the living room to cuddle and just watch the whole day. Occasionally, food will come and it was all from your favourite restaurants.

After the next 5th Disney movie ended, you told Lucas that you wanted to take a shower and he told you that you can borrow any of his clothes. He even said that he'll run you a bath but you told him that you were just going to take a light shower which Lucas didn't mind. Whilst you were showering, Lucas prepared a T-shirt and shorts along with the hoodie you were just wearing.

After your shower and putting on the clothes Lucas prepared, Lucas came and redid the medicine on your wounds before going back to watching some heart-warming movies on the bed. Feeling better, you decided to tell Lucas what happened and whilst it seemed that he was calm, his mind was off wondering the endless possibilities of teaching the two that harm you; whether it'd be physically or mentally.

Either way, Lucas listened to all your rambles, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, leaning you onto his chest, giving kisses on your forehead, cheeks and occasionally your neck, chuckling when he saw you flustered; basically making you 10x better, treating you like a queen up until you fell asleep.

When you did fall asleep, he gently tucked you into bed, kissing your forehead, smiling at your sleeping figure before leaving the room to the bar where he was more than ready to make the two-person harmed you suffer; not forgetting to ask Hendery and Yangyang to come over to watch over you.

"Sleep tight sweetheart. I'll be back before you know it, alright? No one treats my queen like trash and gets away with it" Lucas mumbled, kissing your forehead as he left as quietly as possible

and let's just say that everyone in the bar that night experienced a side of Lucas that no one would like to see or hear ever again.

"Try and lay a finger on her again, I won't be so nice next time" Lucas scoffed, seeing all the staff looked down, especially the two-person who hurt you

A/N: I hope that this was alright but yea, this fanfic has been stuck in my head for days

[lyrebright]

Everything about S1 of TMA from like, the last five episodes on is just really hype, but the final two episodes--which, alongside the closing statement of MAG038 really just feel like one long finale--kick it up to an wholly new level.

And it's very cool.

MAG039 is here,

and so is the worm wife

(and her worm kids)

(who are very hungry)

MAG039 is entirely and definitely my favourite episode of TMA thus far. It's got so much.

archives crew interactions. jon's facade finally cracking. joe spooky.

Okay so. I'm going to be all over the place with this episode because FUCK chronology apparently

So in my last post I mentioned I was going to leave my thoughts about the Table (You Know The One) for this one because. Well.

(Two for two for homophobic furniture :/)

Ironically the night before I listened to MAG039, I was discussing TMA with friend @jackassrabbit and we got to talking about the statements that had really gotten us, and I mentioned a very early statement that had still stuck with me--MAG003, "Across The Street."

I actually mentioned this in a post really early on in my liveblog tag, but the gaslighty unreality of someone being replaced but only you knowing is a deep seated irrational fear of mine. So I remembered this statement because of this conversation with my friend.

And then my friend said this:

Which, uh. Definitely put me in the mind to be paying attention and remembering MAG003, both because I was intrigued and it is, again, a personal fear I was now bracing for.

When I was joking in an earlier post about Sasha having the gumption of a horror movie final girl I should have know that was me cursing her to not have their survivability.

my friends who like to bully me so much

rest in peace queen

the MOMENT she went into artefact storage I was like Oh No She's Dead because I was now VISCERALLY REMEMBERING the MAG003 table and the fact that it was in there

Audio work was a lot for this episode actually btw

I had to yank my earphones out when Sasha screamed ):

HONESTLY I'm sad she's gone and I'm gonna be stressed about the FAKE SASHA NO ONE REALISES IS FAKE for forever but at least she went out as episode MVP

Saving Tim. Corkscrewing Jon's worms. Setting off the fire alarm. Going to bug Elias about Saving Her Boys. Sasha James I have feelings for you and now they are sad ones.

Speaking of feelings. Jon ♡

Glad to see him finally having that mental breakdown (they would soon regret this statement); when I said that I thought his skeptic act was breaking down around him j didn't think it was like. Actually an act?

Like Jon as a paranormal happenings denier has been super interesting because it wasn't a case of flat out denial, because there were things he clearly did believe in even if he was trying to rationalize it, so his confession that he's been feeling Watched this entire time and has been suffering Rampant Paranoia is...i have thoughts but theyre not solid yet. They're percolating.

Thinking back to how tired and strung out he seems post "real" statements now like I noticed with the knowledge that he Feels Watched during them is also like Oh That Makes Sense

BTW "you didn't...die here, did you?" would 100% win funniest line in any other episode but unfortunately here it has to compete with joe spooky, so

This conversation between Jon and Martin made my heart go aww though.

God. In any other episode Tim would have won MVP (unfortunately for him Sasha exists and never will again so SHE gets play of the game). Even though he didn't quite take the crown I love him.

WORM WKFE

hi jane

she says only one word but I love her so much

God this got long I will. Give MAG040 it's entirely own post and end this one here, I am so sorry.