#it just feels like dentists do it WAY better then me :c

[solacedeer]

marrying a dentist so they can floss my teeth itd be so romantic im telling you it 100% would

[dovveri]

peach soda should come with a warning

synopsis: your girlfriend has had a really bad toothache for the last week but she hates going to the dentist so it's your job to get her to that appointment!

warnings: comfort and fluff! dentist visit so mention of needles

w/c: 2.9k

a/n: conan concert + lenys discord server and being around POSITIVE twiceland enjoyers + my dentist appt today where i got the news that i will be needing a root canal brought back a sliver of motivation to write 😀 I HATE THE DENTIST 😔

ྀི

you knock on the door impatiently, rapping your knuckles against it hard until someone finally comes to answer it.

sana's still a little sleepy, not minding when you brush past her and into the apartment she shared with nayeon and momo. you offer a quick greeting and kick off your shoes, moving into the space with ease.

"how is she?"

sana yawns, rubbing her eyes, "nayeonnie's trying to get her ready. she managed to get her to the bathroom but then she locked us both out and she's been in there ever since."

you curse, quickly walking towards the bathroom while sana sighs and plods towards the kitchen to make herself a much needed cup of coffee. it was way too early to be dealing with this.

you see nayeon toward the end of the hallway at the entrance of the bathroom, able to hear what she's saying before you reach her, "momo c'mon. you have to go soon."

you arrive and nod at nayeon who smiles at you tiredly, then you hear your girlfriend's stuffy voice come out from behind the door, "n-not ready!" she sounds like she's been crying.

you sigh, gesturing for nayeon to go join sana in the kitchen and that you could handle this. she pats your shoulder encouragingly before trudging off.

you knock on the door, this time much softer than you had their front door. "momo? it's me baby."

you can make out a few sniffles inside, there's no response for a few seconds before she speaks up. "i don't want to go."

"baby you have to. you told me your tooth was hurting since last week right? don't you want it to feel better?"

"'s fine. it doesn't hurt anymore."

"i know you're lying. you couldn't even use the left side of your mouth yesterday to eat your food. c'mon baby. open the door for me? please?"

you press your ear to the door, trying to hear what's going on inside the best you can. there's a little shuffling around, the sound of the sink turning on and off before momo responds again. "no. you're gonna force me to go and i don't want to go. i'll deal with the pain it's fine. don't make me go. you know i hate the dentist y/n."

you don't have to see her to know she's pouting, you can imagine the pleading puppy-dog eyes she'd be giving you right now if she could see you.

"i know you do but you have to go baby. you'll feel a thousand times better afterwards i promise."

"but it'll hurt during!"

"it'll only hurt for a little bit. just one hour at the dentist and then you don't have to feel like this anymore and you can eat anything you want! how about if you open the door and come with me now, i'll take us to that new hong kong cafe you wanted to try? the one with the cute little bear ice blocks and tea?"

it's quiet again and you can practically hear her internal debate through the door, tossing up her choices.

finally, you hear the soft click of the door unlocking and peeking open just slightly so your girlfriend's head pokes out.

you smile brightly, even though she's still pouting adorably and her eyes are slightly red, you were overjoyed to see her face again. you already missed seeing her even though you had just seen her the night prior and sana had accidentally let it slip that she had a dentist appointment today which she had happened to 'forget' to tell you about.

"your treat?"

you grin at her, nodding enthusiastically, "my treat! you can get as much as you want and you can takeaway anything you like for the girls as well!"

she frowns, deliberating in her head again, before opening the door slightly larger, slipping out cautiously.

you immediately go in for a hug, squeezing her tight into you, lifting her off the floor slightly.

she squeals, laughing as she yells at you to put her down.

but you playfully refuse, spinning her around on the spot instead, and kissing her sweetly, finishing off rubbing the tip of your nose against her's while she giggles against you.

"there we go. that's my girl." you set her back down, "you brushed your teeth already?"

she nods, bending down to pet boo and dobby who came running as soon as she unlocked the bathroom door, eager to get attention from their mom.

"okay. you go feed the dogs and apologise to nayeon and sana. i'll get all your things and we can go okay?"

she looks back up to you with a frown on her face, "why do i have to apologise?"

"because i can only imagine how hard it was for them to get you out of bed this morning."

"it wasn't that hard!"

you roll your eyes affectionately, stepping away and heading towards her bedroom. "i love you but i don't believe you sweetheart."

she protests from behind you but you laugh to yourself, going to collect some of her things scattered around her room.

when you come back out and head into the kitchen, momo's pale as a ghost, gripping the countertop in terror.

you hesitate, trying to assess the situation, nayeon and sana are looking at each other with wide eyes.

you hear nayeon curse under her breath when you step towards momo slowly, coming up behind her and placing a hand on top of hers. "baby? ready to go?"

she turns to look at you almost in slow motion, her pupils blown, "i-i- no- can't- no-" then all of a sudden she's yanking her hand away and running.

"momo!"

everything is thrown into chaos, the dogs start barking and jumping around, thinking you're all playing some sort of game, sana and nayeon rush to intercept momo while you try and pull her back towards you.

eventually you succeed, with your arms wrapped around her waist, squeezing her against you, keeping her put.

she still struggles against you, "let me go! i don't want to go! don't make me go!"

"mo- stop- tell me what happened!"

"nayeon said they'll stab a needle into me!"

you look up to the elder girl, her eyes and awkward smile apologetic while sana scolds her. she tries to rephrase herself, "no momo- they only do it to make it not so painful when they treat you!"

"so they will stab me with a needle!"

"no- well maybe- but it's gonna make the rest of the process a lot less painful!"

"hell no! you know i'm terrified of needles!"

"momo darling please. they might not even have to use a needle! c'mon i promised you i'd treat you to anything you wanted after right?"

she stops struggling in your arms for a second, you can see the cogs turning in her head, but then she turns her head to look up at you, eyes teary, "b-but- what if they-"

your heart squeezes at the sight, you cup her cheeks, offering an encouraging smile, "even if they do i'm gonna be right there okay? i'll distract you so you won't even feel it!"

she whimpers, and the moment you see a hint of acceptance in her eyes, you're pulling her out the door and saying goodbye to nayeon and sana before she can change her mind again.

with the grip she's got on your hand it's hard to seperate from her when you try to get into the car. she asks if she can just sit in your lap while you drive which made you laugh a little, earning a pout from her, she was completely serious.

"i'm sorry baby i can't drive with you on my lap. i'm pretty sure it wouldn't be legal either."

she grumbles, ducking into the passenger seat and having to let go of your hand, but you rush to the other side of the car and get in on the driver's side, your hand finding hers before your butt finds your seat.

the drive is quick, you've put on some of her favourite songs to distract her as much as you can, hoping she'll dance and wriggle along like she always does but she stays unusually still, shrunk in on herself. at every traffic light and stop sign, you either bring your intertwined fingers up to kiss her hand, or lean in to kiss her cheek or temple, brushing your thumb over her knuckles to remind her you were still there.

when you finally park, you can feel how clammy her hands have gotten against yours, she takes a breath, turning to you, eyes still watery, pleading with you one last time, "do i really have to go? i promise i'll be good! i'll floss and brush my teeth twice a day and i won't eat so much junk anymore!"

you smile, brushing your unoccupied hand lightly over her cheek, she leans into you on reflex, "i'm sorry baby. i know how much you don't want to do this. but we have to okay? even if you do all of those things now it's only gonna prevent having to come again in the future. we gotta fix the problem first and then you can do all of that so we don't have to worry about having anything done the next time you get checked up okay?"

her lips wobble, sniffling, and then putting on a brave face, nodding. you lean in to peck her quickly before getting out of the car, walking into momo's worst nightmare hand in hand.

ྀི

it’s a little hectic inside the surgery but you’ve somehow managed to convince the dentist attending to momo to let you sit as close as possible where it wouldn’t disrupt them so you could continue holding momo’s hand.

momo’s lying back on the chair, staring at you wide-eyed with the little dentist bib around her neck, her hand clenching around yours in anxiety. she’s handed a pair of sunglasses but when she doesn’t move to take it, completely frozen in fear, you move forward and take it from the dental assistant’s hand, sliding it onto momo’s face and tucking her hair behind her ears.

“it’s gonna be okay baby. you’re gonna be okay. you just gotta lie here for a little bit alright?”

she gulps, nodding robotically.

the attending dentist smiles at the sight, and you move back out of their working area, sitting at the end of the chair still clutching momo’s hand.

“momo? i’m just going to have a look inside now okay? open up for me…” the dentist taps the pedal to start reclining the chair backwards, momo’s grip on your hand tightens, and you squeeze back reassuringly. the overhead light is placed over her mouth and she hesitantly opens it.

“wider for me please momo.”

momo complies, the dentist then gently prodding around her mouth with the mirror and explorer. at one point momo cringes obviously, her hand growing impossibly tighter, wriggling around on the chair in discomfort.

“hurts here?”

momo mumbles with her mouth open, letting out a gargled yes.

you can tell her eyes are clenched shut in concentration, not opening even when the dentist eventually stops prodding around inside her mouth, wheeling backwards and asking for a few supplies from her assistant.

you take the opportunity to talk to momo, trying to distract her.

“so what do you want to try at that new cafe sweetie? aside from the bear shaped ice tea of course.”

you can see when momo’s eyes open slightly to look at you, her eyebrows unfurling slightly. her voice is almost a squeak when she speaks, “u-um i wanted to try one of the c-claypot rices, the bread looked really good as well-“

“yeah? the sweet ones? do you know if you want anything inside it?”

“mm- not really, i can do whatever you want as well if you have any preferences. i want you to enjoy it too. otherwise we can just try the plain one with the condensed milk-“

"that sounds good!"

you let momo go on a small rant about what she wants to eat, grateful for how understanding the dentist found the two of you, slightly amused even.

“okay momo- bad news, you’ve got a pretty big cavity where you’ve got that tooth pain. we’re gonna inject you with a little numbing agent so that you won’t feel anything when we fill it up okay?”

momo’s hands immediately clasp down on yours again, her eyes wide behind her sunglasses, “i-inject?” she squeaks out.

“yeah. it’s just gonna be a little pinch, and trust me it’ll hurt a whole lot less than if you were to get your cavity filled without it.”

momo looks between you and the dentist, mouth hanging slightly open, whimpering a little at the thought of the needle.

you notice the signs of her beginning to panic and step in quickly, “hey hey sweetie look at me, it’s gonna be okay. i’m right here okay? and just like-“

you look towards the dentist who offers her name, “sunmi.” you nod appreciatively.

“just like sunmi said it’s only gonna be a tiiiiiiny little pinch okay? and you can close your eyes you don’t have to look at anything okay? just focus on my voice. i’ll talk you through it okay?”

you can tell momo is holding back tears, trying her best to not cry in public, but she purses her lips, nodding resolutely and settling back into the seat, her grip on your hands diamond hard.

you gesture for sunmi to get started, who understands immediately, talking quietly to her assistant to hand her the necessary tools.

“okay momo open up- you’ll be okay your girlfriend’s right there okay?”

momo opens her mouth up shakily, her lips quivering.

“do you want me to count you in or just make it a surprise?”

momo thinks for a second, “-ur-ise” she manages out while her mouth is still open with sunmi prepping her gums.

sunmi smiles beneath her mask, her eyes crinkling up kindly, “surprise sounds good doesn’t it? you can just focus on your girlfriend talking and you won’t even realise when it goes in yeah?”

momo hums in response.

“okay baby you’re doing so good for me right now. my pretty brave girl. i can’t wait for you to get out of this chair and we can go grab all your favourite snacks and put on all the monsters inc movies and cuddle up on the couch with boo and dobby. that sounds good doesn’t it? just us, maybe nayeon and sana if they want to join-“

suddenly momo lets out a whine from the back of her throat, her hand almost breaking yours with how tight she’s squeezing down, legs tensing up, you bring one of your hands to her knee and rub over it slowly to ground her, still continuing talking as if she wasn’t just stabbed in the gums with her worst fear.

it’s only a few seconds before momo relaxes against you, the numbing agent slowly working across the top left section of her mouth.

“you did so good baby! you were so unbelievably strong for that and you looked so cool too with those sunnies and everything i think i fell in love with you all over again!” it’s obviously an over exaggeration but it makes momo smile, giggling a little at your dramatics.

“feels funny.” she mumbles when sunmi lets her up to wait for the numbing agent to set in.

“that’s probably the numbing setting in. you won’t be able to feel that side of your mouth so that it doesn’t hurt when they fill up your cavity. smart right? means it won’t hurt!”

momo nods happily, almost as proud of herself as you were of her.

the rest of the appointment goes by relatively smoothly, momo was much more relaxed even when the loud whirring and machines working in her mouth give her a little headache.

"alright! we're all done! you did great momo! but if you don't want to come back and do that all over again you're gonna have to lighten up on those sodas okay?"

momo pouts, mumbling to herself quietly but you catch it, "peach soda should come with a warning. needles and pain in future. drink with caution."

you stifle a laugh, your girlfriend was simply adorable.

when everything's done and you thank sunmi for being so understanding and kind, you head back towards your car, giggling at momo practically skipping and rambling on about her experience.

"i was so good wasn't i? did you see the needle? it was a big one right?"

you unlock the car, smiling, "you were soo good baby. and yes! i'm so proud of you for taking that injection! you looked so brave!"

momo giggles, getting into the car excitedly.

"so what do you wanna do now baby? you can pick whatever you want. we can go home and watch monsters inc ooooor we can go out?"

"ice cream!"

you grin, already having anticipated her answer, "okay!"

you pull out of the parking lot, driving towards her favourite ice cream joint. even though later, when you arrive and momo finds out she actually can't eat ice cream because half her mouth is still numb, you throw your own away as well and promise to bring her back the next day, taking her home and making a blanket fort with the dogs to watch all of momo's favourite comfort movies cuddled up and in love.

[miraclewoozi]

VERSACE ON THE FLOOR. -l.jh

ooh, i love that dress but you won’t need it anymore –

Or, the time you and your homebody boyfriend* decide to just… not go to your dinner plans.

pairing; lee jihoon x fem reader. content; fluff, suggestive (MINORS DNI). established relationship. warnings; relatively warning free (y'all i didn't even swear???) but just in case -- a couple of dorky jokes, reader wears a dress, makeup and heels, making out, undressing. let me know if i've forgotten anything. w/c; 2.4k (apparently i am in my shorter fic era? party.) note; if there's one thing i'm gonna do, no matter what day of the week it is, it's be disgustingly delusional about jihoon. get ur dentists on speedial, it's a tooth rotter (/j). note 2.0; i've had this one in the drafts for so long i had forgotten all about it! but then VOTF came on shuffle a few days ago (and i started thinking about light a flame woozi at the same time, which nearly fucking killed me), so. here we are. enjoy.<3

You don’t go out for dates very often. Not anymore, at least.

When you and Jihoon first got together, he took you out all the time. For dinners, to cocktail bars, to the movies, for walks down the beach, picnics by the river. It didn’t matter where you went as long as it put a smile on your face — all he ever wanted to do was make you feel special. No expense has ever been too great for his favourite girl, after all; he’s always loved to spoil you.

Now several years into your relationship, you’re a real pair of homebodies. Sure, he could take you out for a four course dinner at an expensive restaurant in the middle of the city, or reserve a table at a pretentious cocktail bar that plays slightly too loud music that’s always just to the left of either of your tastes. Then again… He could cook a nice meal for you to have at the apartment you share, where you can make your way through a bottle of bubbles without one of you needing to stay sober to drive home or else risk your lives in a sketchy cab. 

It’s something you’ve talked about several times, and on every occasion, it’s quite apparent that you’re both very happy with the way things are. If anything, it makes it all the more special when he tells you he needs you to keep your weekend free because he’s making plans, and he wants to whisk you away.

Like now, for instance. The hotel suite he’s booked is gorgeous and you’re perched on the edge of the plush bedding, bent over double so that you can properly fasten your shoes while he finishes getting ready in the bathroom. Now and again, you hear a grumble or a click of his tongue float through the ajar door; every time, you feel a smile play at your lips as you shake your head. He never changes. (You’re so glad.)

“Jihoon,” you call to him softly. You can practically see how he’ll be standing – facing the mirror, on his tiptoes to lean over the bathroom counter and get as close to his own reflection as he possibly can. Pouting as his fingers drag through his hair to try and fix the strands in place just a tiny bit better. “Don’t you dare come out here looking like Sonic the Hedgehog. You know the more you play with it, the more annoyed you’re going to get.”

A few seconds later, he emerges, an eyebrow raised in challenge, an amused grin tugging his lips out of their habitual frown. 

(And lo and behold — his hair looks absolutely fine.)

But the second he sees you, whatever witty comeback he was obviously very proud of dies on his lips, and you straighten up with only one of your shoes secured to your foot, the other just slipped on over your toes.

“Wow,” he says, in that soft, deep, quiet way that he does when you’ve really taken his breath away. You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows; you see his brow crinkle and his eyes widen, as if he’s trying to see as much of you as he possibly can. “Is that…?”

“Yeah,” you nod proudly, sitting back and smoothing your hands over the dress you’re wearing. “From our first anniversary.”

As his eyes move over you, taking in everything from the way the straps sit on your shoulders to the way the hem lays across your thigh, your own eyes move over him. The top three buttons of his shirt are still unfastened and his tie hangs either side, tucked beneath his collar but not knotted yet. His slacks have been cleanly pressed, a neat, crisp seam running down the front of both legs. Shoes shined to perfection. Expensive watch strapped around his wrist. 

He might just be the most handsome man in the entire world.

“I remember you saying you really liked it, so… I dug it out, special.” 

“You look incredible,” he says. It’s so gentle, so sincere, that you think your heart is about to burst clean out of your chest. Warmth trickles the length of your spine, and it isn’t exactly helped when you realise – only now as he starts to cross the room to get closer to you – that he hadn’t moved an inch since he surfaced from the bathroom almost a full ninety seconds ago.

He shrinks down so he’s rested on both of his knees in front of you, skilful hands moving to help with the shoe you hadn’t managed to lace up yet. every time his fingertips so much as brush against your skin, the electricity in his gentle touches shoots all the way from the point of contact up to your brain and leaves it fogged, impossible to make any sense through the thick clouds of intimacy and adoration. More-so as he smoothly lifts your leg a little and presses his lips once to the inside of your ankle, even foggier still as he trails kisses up the length of your calf towards your knee. 

“Jihoon,” you laugh breathlessly, laying a hand on his shoulder as you feel his tongue press lightly against your skin. He finally sits back on his heels, running his fingers up and down the backs of your legs; he’s successfully managed to hike your dress up a few inches now, too, and he keeps flitting his gaze between your face and your thighs. “We can’t – we’ll be late.”

“We have ages,” he frowns, shuffling closer and trying to bump your knees apart, but you keep your muscles engaged and he doesn’t pull at them that hard, so they don’t budge.

“We have to get there, too,” you remind him. He throws his head back and sighs dramatically. The neckline of his dress shirt seems to open a little more when he looks back at you, drawing your attention down the length of his neck to his bulging chest, and the muscular forearms that he crosses in front of it.

“And this is why we don’t go out.”

“What, because you’re horny all the damn time?” You tease. 

He gently swats at the top of your thigh before soothing it with another small kiss. 

“Because when you look this good, how am I supposed to want to go and eat a steak instead?” 

He grins up at you from the floor, quite clearly delighted with himself for his little gag. You, however, flop back onto the mattress and cover your face with your hands.

“That was so bad,” you chuckle. You’ve been trying for years to not melt to his very specific sense of humour, but it’s all been completely futile. Your reluctant laughs turn to sweet, breathy giggles by the time he lays both his arms across your legs and rests his chin on top of them. You prop yourself up on one elbow to look at him; he’s staring up at your face like he thinks he’ll never see anything as beautiful as you for the rest of his life. 

“Maybe… We don’t have to go out for dinner,” he suggests. “Maybe we can stay in tonight, too.”

“Horndog.” You tsk. But you’re not disappointed at the idea of staying in, either, regardless of whether your teasing implies otherwise. “I knew you’d say that.”

“No — really,” he swallows. You aren’t sure if you can feel his heart beating a little faster where his chest is pressed completely against your shins, or if you’re just imagining it. But the tips of his ears are going pink too, so you think it’s safe to trust your intuition on this one. “I mean-… we don’t have to go. I could-…”

He bites the inside of his cheek before he looks down, pressing his forehead against his arms and hiding his face completely.

“I could do it here.”

He says these words quietly. Mumbles them, really. You aren’t sure if you were meant to hear, or if he was just talking to himself. But either way, it has to be worth a shot to find out.

“What do you mean, Ji?”

One, two, three seconds pass. And… Nothing. 

“Hey.”

You bounce your thighs a little so he’s forced to look up at you, and you can see something swimming in his eyes. Something brewing. He sits back from you and pushes a hand through his hair; a few strands lose their stick to the rest of the main body and tumble down over his forehead. Exactly in the way he was trying to prevent. 

“I could just do it here.”

He says this louder. Clearer. With much more finality. You sit up properly, then, both your hands clasped together in your lap. 

“Do what here, baby?”

His eyes find yours and you sit there for a few moments, unwrapping each other's minds with nothing more than a look and a matching pair of gentle — but slightly concerned — smiles. 

He moves one hand down and slips it into the back left pocket of his slacks. You think you can feel the world around you start to slow. 

When he shifts a leg from beneath him so he’s on one knee before you and presents you with a glittering diamond ring, it stops altogether. 

“Jihoon,” you breathe. 

He glances between the ring and you, biting his bottom lip before he speaks. 

“I had it-… I had everything planned.” He laughs, looking away from your face as even more rising heat becomes evident on his own. “Down to the second, even. But just like you always do — just like the first time I saw you, and just like every time since… You threw me a curve ball and… Somehow, you’ve changed everything. But you made it so much better. 

“I think I was supposed to find you, y/n,” Jihoon says. “I don't know what’s up there, what’s in charge of when we meet the people we meet and why we fall in love with the people we fall in love with. but I know that they were really looking out for me the day you came into my life.” 

You can feel your eyes starting to sting at the corners and you will the tears away, desperate not to smudge the makeup you spent so long trying to perfect. You know he’d love you either way — mascara tear tracks and splotchy concealer and all — but… 

“I am so in love with you that sometimes, it really hurts. It hurts because I know that no one’s ever going to come close — about anyone in the world — to feeling the way I feel about you. I feel bad for everyone, a bit. Because you’re not-… you're not with them. You’re with me. But I wouldn’t want any of them to be with you, because-... and… and if you’ll have me, I want you to be with me forever.”

You don't know when you started slowly nodding along to his little monologue, but you definitely are. You’re not sure when you started holding your breath either, but that’s two for two. He looks up at you, expectantly, fluttering his eyelashes and stuttering out a long, deep breath. 

“Y/n, will you marry me?”

Some decisions, you’ve always thought, are made for you at a cosmic level. Your favourite colours. Your favourite foods. Hot and cold weather people. Loving or hating marmite. A predisposition to enjoying scary movies or being the kind of person who hides behind a pillow. 

This is another one of those. You don’t have to think twice about it — you just know. You know because a great unstoppable force managed to squeeze you together at the perfect moment in time; the ever-expanding universe around you has kept you and Jihoon side by side through everything it could possibly throw at you. 

“Yes.”

Of course you want to spend your forever with him. 

The word leaves your mouth in a whisper and everything flies back into motion. The first black droplet rolls down your cheek. His usually so steady hands fumble with yours to slide the ring over your finger. A perfect fit. You’re hurtling through space and time as he gets up off his knees and cups your cheeks, gently pulling you upright and crashing his lips against yours. You stumble into him slightly in your heels; his kiss is more a chaotic clatter of teeth and giddy laughter than perhaps the intense, romantic gesture he was aiming for, but it’s completely, utterly, unequivocally perfect.

Jihoon’s fancy dress shirt creases under your fingers as you ball it into your fists where the top buttons are spread open, pulling him as close as you can, laughter dying down as he loses himself in you and as you lose yourself in him, right back. He swallows all of your gasps and sighs, hands sliding down from your face to the sides of your neck, until he’s resting a palm on each of your shoulders. A single finger slips beneath one of the straps and he pulls it out of the way, down onto your arm, withdrawing from your mouth so that he can press a series of kisses down your cheek and to your jaw instead.

“Ji,” you murmur, tipping your head back and fumbling at the buttons running the length of his torso, trying and failing to get them open. He chuckles, his other hand coming to rest over yours to stop you. You lace your fingers together, feeling him squeeze. Your heart pounds.

“Let's take our time,” he whispers to you, thumb grazing over your collarbone. “Okay?”

All you can do is nod as he kisses lower, and lower, pressing his lips everywhere he can while he’s still standing. Your neck and shoulders feel ablaze, tickling with the heat of the burning stars his mouth paints across your skin. 

“Need-... Ji, you need to-... call… call the restaurant,” you stutter. “Gotta…. we need to cancel…”

The fleeting sting of his teeth against your throat interrupts you and you’re only aware of him reaching behind you to tug the zipper of your dress down when the material falls completely slack..

“In a minute,” he says, helping you walk backwards until your calves collide with the bed behind you once again. He eases you to lie down on the comforter and crawls on top of you, caging you in with both arms, taking hold of your left hand again.

He looks down at the ring on your finger, his entire face breaking into the most brilliant of smiles. Every inch, from the creases at the corners of his eyes to the paling stretch of his beautiful lips. 

“My future wife needs taking care of, first.”

– no you won’t need it no more, let’s just kiss ‘til we’re naked, baby.

hehe thank u sm for reading!! i hope you enjoyed this bc it was a bit special 2 me. likes, reblogs, comments + feedback are all, as always, greatly appreciated.<3

[zorosleftmantit101]

One piece characters as tweets i find stupidly funny part 2

Characters: to lazy to right em

A/N: two posts in one day, crazy times

C/W: Mentions of harming animals (a goose) Twitter shit

Buggy: i hate babies with grown-ass names, no i ain't holding WALTER 😭

Ace: I love seeing goths in normal situations like wyd at the dentist girl!

Sabo: just found out that 51 is divisible by 17 i feel fucking sick i can't breathe

Luffy: Strangling an adult goose gotta feel better than opiates I just know it in my heart

Zoro: Me driving to the store: Yeah i'm a total storepilled foodcel. I'm basically going store mode and i'm giving producecore vibes

My 8 year old son Doban: Daddy I think God should kill you

Law: Powerball winners in ancient greece be like

Yay more alive oil

Kid: I went an entire semester without realizing my friend had tourette's

He'd randomly say "jackin off" and we'd all say

"hell yeah" and high five him, thinking he was just a cool guy who liked to party

Brook: Well folks, I think the #Time ⏰has come. I am sealing myself in my #WineBarrel to become #Wine. Goodbye.

Franky: accidentally opened my eyes during prayer at church and saw jesus doing the worm

Usopp: Cops busted me for felony possession of various knickknacks and doohickeys

Sanji: french is such a gay language

"oh la la" gay as hell

Shanks: wtf is a conclusion paragraph just stop reading bro

Katakuri: no meds no therapy no psych ward just raw dogging this mental illness the way God intended

@zorosleftmantit101 2023

[harrygoeswest]

Trigger Warnings: sweary sweary language, bullying

Word count: 12,550

Chapters seven & eight

nine

“You know, that woman is so delusional sometimes.”

I looked at Geri, and then followed her gaze towards Lorraine who was ushering children into the hut for the start of the late kid’s club.

I grunted. “I can think of many, many more words than delusional to describe her.”

“Does one begin with a ‘C’ and end in a ‘T’?”

“Number one on the list actually.”

Geri sniggered. “I thought so.”

“She’s just rude and entitled and needs a smack round the face.”

“Violence is never the answer, Floss.” She teased, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“It should be.”

We watched as Lorraine made her way over to the car park from the hut, me with a much more unwelcoming demeanour than Geri. She kept her distance from me, as she should, but she made such a big deal out of it, feigning a look of terror in order to gain some sympathy from the other parents. I couldn’t tell you what she needed sympathy for, but I’m sure she was going to make it about the little explosion I had the week after Easter.

Debbie rubbed her shoulder as Lorraine passed her by, and everyone kept asking her if she was okay.

“You’ve got to be joking me.” I scoffed.

“You gotta give it to her - she puts on a good show.” Geri muttered, still watching her.

“I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I know you haven’t. She’s up to something.”

Lorraine made it to her car and rummaged around inside the boot for a moment, but quickly locked it back up. Then she started walking towards us.

“Oh no,” Geri said, barely audible.

I squared my shoulders. I didn’t know what she wanted but I was ready for whatever nonsense she was about to come out with.

“Florence,” She started, holding a piece of paper in her hand. She was facing away from the other parents now, so her expression was completely different from the look of terror she’d been acting on seconds before. “This is your final bill.”

My brows furrowed. “What?”

“The final payment you owe me for the morning child care.”

I narrowed my gaze. I knew I was all paid up. I paid in advance, not post-term and I always had done. “I don’t think so.”

She was glaring at me. “I think I know how much you’ve paid, Florence. And it’s not enough.”

“Are you seriously trying to embarrass me in front of the other parents?”

“Not at all, it never even crossed my mind.” Her voice and her face didn’t match.

“Really?” I retorted. “This isn’t just a big show to get the other parents on side and make you feel better about yourself?”

“You sound ridiculous, Florence. How else am I supposed to tell you?”

“In an email? Or on the phone, in a text, literally any other way.”

“I like to tell people in person.” She shrugged.

I snatched the bill from her. “I have paid this and I am going to prove it to you.”

“Well, you have until the end of the week.”

“I’ll do it whenever I fucking like, thank you very much.”

The other waiting parents were muttering between one another now. I knew I probably hadn’t shown myself in a very good light, but I didn’t care. The woman was evil and needed to be knocked down a peg. Or ten.

Lorraine finally stalked off, and the first thing I did was make sure the other parents knew I wasn’t pissing around. Silently. I glared at them.

“What a cunt.” Geri mumbled.

I didn’t say another word until Ruby appeared, with Oscar right behind her.

“Hi Mummy!” She shouted.

“Hi, baby.” I cooed, and stroked a hand over her hair. “Hi, Oscar.”

“Hello Ruby’s mum.”

“How we doing - did we have a good day at school?”

“It was okay. We don’t really like Mondays because we have to do P.E.”

“Oh wow, she’s definitely your child.” Geri laughed.

I smirked. “Shush you.” I said, and turned back to the children. “Are you ready to go? I need to make sure Oscar gets fed before his daddy comes to get him.”

“Yep! We’re ready!”

“You’re looking after the dentist’s kid?” Geri whispered.

“Yeah. Because we can’t send them to the morning club anymore I need to get some time back, and so does Harry. So on Mondays I look after Oscar and on Wednesdays and Thursdays Harry looks after Ruby.”

“Right…” Geri looked suspicious. “I thought you were scared of the dentist?”

I wasn’t sure if she was generalising or if she meant the new sexy dentist specifically. “I am.” It was still true either way. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I loaded the kids up into the car and drove home. The first thing I did inside was turn the oven on, and then I helped Ruby change into some play clothes before I let her and Oscar run riot in the garden before dinner.

Geri’s comment about hating P.E had amused me somewhat, because Ruby actually loved being active when it was all on her terms. As soon as someone else told her she had to do exercise she wasn’t interested. Perhaps because the word ‘exercise’ implied it was more a chore.

I dipped in and out of the garden, keeping an eye on both them and their dinner. Oscar seemed to be such a calm child in comparison to Ruby, who never stopped talking or moving. Oscar simply sat there and did whatever she told him to.

The children ate their dinner quickly, eager to get back outside and play. I gave them choc ices for dessert to cool down, but as per usual they seemed to get more of it around their faces than actually in their mouths. I made sure Oscar wasn’t covered in chocolate by the time his dad came to collect him.

Harry knocked on the door at just gone six o’clock. He was still in his scrubs, head to toe, hair a little scruffy, and for the first time I noticed a stubble on him.

He smiled as soon as he saw me, eyes again drawn to the t-shirt I was wearing. He cocked his head, smirking. “Is it?”

I looked down at myself and laughed when I realised which t-shirt I was wearing. It was grey with the words ‘THIS IS MY DOG WALKING T-SHIRT’ printed on the front. “By the weekend it will be.”

“Getting a dog-,”

I shushed him, panicked. I looked over my shoulder and then pulled the door closed behind me, taking a step outside.

“Ruby doesn’t know yet.” I whispered.

“Oh shit,” he laughed, “sorry.”

“It’s fine. She’s been banging on about it for months but I’ve never agreed to it in words to her.”

“I see. I’m sure she’ll be over the moon.”

“Bloody better be, he’s cost me an arm and a leg.”

Harry continued to smile at me, but I didn’t know what else to say. I felt like an obscure statue in a local park.

“How has Oscar been anyway?”

“Oh right, yeah.” I’m an idiot. “He’s been an angel, actually. He’s so calm.”

I opened the front door again and took a step inside. “Oscar, your dad is here!”

“He is a very placid child.” Harry agreed, hands now shoved into the pockets of his scrubs.

I didn’t know what placid meant. I pretended to. “Yeah, Ruby just orders him around and he does it. Feel like I maybe need to tell her to reel it in.”

“No, she’s fine.” Harry shook his head. “I think he likes it, he’s just happy to have a friend.”

That comment stirred me a little. Did he not have any friends before?

I realised it was rude of me to make Harry wait outside, and I was sure Oscar hadn't heard me. “Let me just go and get him - they’re in the garden. Come in,”

“Oh, thank you.”

I left Harry there while I went out to the garden to find the children. They were still playing, completely oblivious to the world around them.

“Oscar, your daddy is here to take you home.”

“Oh,” Ruby said with a sad pout.

Oscar was already standing and had started making his way towards the house.

“You still get to see him tomorrow, Rubes.” I reminded her.

“I know but it was fun having him here.” She whined, following Oscar.

“And you get to do it again next week. And you’re going to Oscar’s house on Wednesday and Thursday. So you will have lots of occasions like this to come, won’t you?”

She huffed at me. “Yes.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

Harry was still waiting in the hallway, barely having moved. “Hey, little man.” He grinned at the sight of his child.

“Hi, daddy.” Oscar smiled up to him.

“D’you have a good time?”

“I did.”

“Good lad. Say thank you to Ruby and her mum for looking after you, then.”

“Thank you Ruby, thank you Ruby’s mum.”

He was so cute I wanted to burst. “You’re very welcome.”

“Bye Oscar!” Ruby shouted. “Bye Harry!”

“Bye, Ruby.” Harry chuckled. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

We waited for them to reach their car before I closed the door and locked us in. Ruby was standing in the middle of the hall as if she suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself.

“Ready for a bath, poppet?”

She hummed, the sound disconnected.

“Come on then.”

I helped Ruby bathe, though she didn’t play like she normally would. She let me wash her hair and scrub her down, and then she got out. I wrapped her up in a towel and dried her off, plaited her hair and tucked her into bed. A minute later she was asleep.

My house had been turned into a bombsite for Ruby’s party. Not that it was the definition of pristine on a normal day, but even for a small party with close family and a few friends, my mother decided to bring an overkill of food and drink and decorations. I left her to it.

Zara and Mickey had come, with Geri, her husband Owen and Milly. Mum and Dad had been there for hours, Frank and Diane with them. The only people we were waiting for now were Oscar and his dad, and Ruby’s other friend Scarlett.

I knew I was rubbish at hosting but I couldn’t ask Mum and Dad to host a birthday party after everything else they were doing for us, so I bit the bullet, pulled my big girl trousers up and just got on with it. Dad actually ended up answering the door more than I did. I just tried to make sure everyone had enough to drink to keep hydrated before the food came out.

Harry turned up with Oscar just as Mum was arranging all the food on the table. Of course they were the only people I actually answered the door to.

“Hello, welcome!” I tried to put on my best happy and excited voice, even though I was sure I sounded constipated.

“Hi, thank you.” Harry smiled, nudging Oscar in first. “Go on, mate.”

“Everyone is in the garden, you’re just in time for food.”

I walked through the house after them to make sure they went the right way, not that there was much room to get lost in my modest little home.

As soon as Oscar spotted the other children he was off like a shot, leaving Harry and I alone. I felt awkward and didn’t know what to say.

“Decorations are cool.” Harry commented as he gazed around the garden.

I grimaced to myself because I actually hated them. My Colombian mother had set the garden up like a Hawaiian luau (make it make sense!), with inflatable palm trees and flamingos, palm leaf bunting, lei headbands, wristbands and garlands. My dining table looked like a giant hay bale, and there were paper pineapples in every direction but I didn’t know why.

“My mother is to thank for this. I was just gonna give her a tiara and a sash.”

Harry looked at me with a smirk. “The ones she’s wearing now?”

I nodded. “Yep. Drink?”

“Love one.”

I helped Harry find a non-alcoholic beverage, sourcing one for myself too.

Mum had gone all out on the Colombian niceties, including Lulada - a smoothie-like drink which was notoriously hard to come by in this country.

“Floss,” she hurried over to me with a tray of cholados, “¿Puedes volver a ponerlos en el congelador? Se derretirán antes de que nadie se los coma.” She asked me to put them back in the freezer before they melted.

“Sí,” I took the tray from her, “las sacaré en 30 minutos más o menos.” I said I’d bring them back out in about half an hour.

“Gracias, mí querida.” Thank you, my darling. She kissed my cheek before I disappeared inside.

I stored them in the freezer in the top drawer and told myself to keep an eye on when everyone was finished with the savoury food before I brought them back again.

Back outside, I grabbed a plate and called for Ruby to come and get something to eat. Oscar was already with his daddy next to me looking over the spread with confused expressions.

“Florence?”

I looked at Harry when he spoke my name.

“Sorry, Floss.” He was obviously getting irritated having to correct himself all the time. “Er, what is everything?”

I bit back a flattered smile. It wasn’t very often I was the one someone went to for information. “Yeah, it’s all Colombian, but it’s actually more normal than it looks. So, the deep-fried things are empanadas, done the Colombian way, with chicken and potato fillings. Next to that in the weird-looking green leaf bags are tamales. They’ve got chicken, pork and peas in them, and the leaf around the outside is a plantain leaf which you can eat. And the bread is pan de bono which is cheese and yuca bread. So, it’s cheesy bread but made with yuca starch, and they are bangin’ when they’re still warm.”

Harry laughed, “Alright.”

“The pitta-looking things are arepas - Mum usually fills them with pulled pork and tomato, and they’ve been grilled on the barbecue. All this meat,” I gestured vaguely to the wide selection of charred meats, “is what we call carne a la llanera, so it’s been slow cooked on a barbecue on, like a tall round spit, and you have it with the steamed potatoes and guacamole. The two big pots are ajiaco and cazuela de mariscos, which are chicken and potato soup and a seafood soup.

“Then for desserts you’ve got cocadas which are like coconut cookies, and obleas which are wafer sandwiches with fruit, nuts, cream and chocolate. I’ve also just put cholados in the freezer which are frozen fruit cups - like a frappe but not.”

“Wow.” Harry nodded, smiling, “okay. Thank you.”

“Any time.” I smiled back.

I filled my plate up and made sure Ruby had done hers, and then went to sit with Geri and Zara while I ate.

“Floss, do you ever regret jilting the dentist?”

I snapped my head in Zara’s direction, glaring at her. “Shut up.” I made sure said dentist wasn’t paying attention before I continued. “No I don’t.”

“Really? You seem to get on so well, it must play on you a little bit.”

“No, it doesn’t. I am fine.”

“So, there’s nothing there?” Geri’s question was inquisitive. “No… flirting or anything like that?”

“We literally just look after each other’s children sometimes. Not that deep.”

The pair of them narrowed their eyes at me. “We shall see.”

I ignored them and carried on eating.

The party continued for a few hours, with Ruby opening her gifts while everyone was still there and the cholados finally being served because I definitely forgot. I disappeared for a little while because I was concerned about the state of the kitchen, but Ruby was left in good hands.

I heard so much while I was in the kitchen. There wasn’t an abundance of couples at this child’s birthday, but 3 out of 4 managed to have an argument in the living room without realising I was only in the room next door.

Zara and Mickey were first, although it was more like bickering than an actual argument. Mickey wanted to leave early for something and Zara kept saying no. I wasn’t necessarily offended that he wanted to leave early. He wasn’t too great friends with anyone here and he didn’t have any children to appreciate a children’s party.

The arguments only really got intense when Geri and Owen started digging at one another.

“Where are you going?” Geri hissed.

I didn’t know whether I should keep going with my tidying or stop entirely so they weren’t interrupted.

“I’m going home, Geri.” Owen said, not concerned with whispering.

“Why? You can’t just leave without saying anything - people will find it strange.”

“People in this village find everything strange if it’s not entirely to their view of normal.”

“I know this. Look at what Floss has had to put up with recently.”

“Floss brings most of her own troubles on herself.”

Ouch.

“Don’t be so archaic, Owen. That’s not fair and you know it.” Geri’s voice came much harsher than before. “You said you wanted to keep up appearances for Milly’s sake, and you leaving in the middle of a party because you’re pissed off with me is not what I would consider keeping up appearances.”

“I just can’t do it. I can’t go around behaving like we’re still happy and in love or whatever when you don’t want me anymore.”

“I still care about you! I’ll always care about you - that doesn’t just go away!”

“Not enough to stay with me!”

“You can’t keep me forced in a marriage this way, Owen!”

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you fucking married me!”

I’d heard way more than I should’ve, but I couldn’t start making noises now, one of them might kill me. I bit my lip and continued standing still in the middle of the room in silence. I had a wet pan in my hands and it was dripping onto the floor. I started drying it with a tea towel as quietly as possible.

After a painful period of silence, Geri finally sighed. “Go home, then. I’ll make up some shitty excuse as to why you’ve fucked off without saying anything.”

“Maybe you should tell everyone the truth. We are in this stupid mess because of you in the first place.”

“I wouldn’t want to deny you the pleasure of telling everyone yourself how evil I am.”

“I will never take any pleasure in telling people that my wife is leaving me. Especially not for a woman. It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re only embarrassed because it emasculates you. Get your head out your arse.”

A second later the front door slammed, and I flinched. I heard Geri’s footsteps disappear back outside. I went back to cleaning up my kitchen with tense shoulders and tinnitus.

Frank and Diane were next, although I had no interest as to what they were arguing about, nor did I care whether they could hear me or not. I did the washing up as loudly as I pleased.

Whatever the two of them were arguing about didn’t last very long, and Diane went back to the garden to enjoy the remainder of Ruby’s afternoon. Frank, however, obviously couldn’t help himself.

The door creaked when he opened it. “What’re you hiding in here for, Florence?”

“I’m not hiding.” I retorted, refusing to look at him.

Frank made a sceptical sound, but I knew it was a farce. The man’s entire life was a farce. He started picking at the leftover food on the counter. “This is all lovely but I do miss a good sausage roll and pork pie.”

I took a deep breath. “Bring your own next time, then.”

“Oh, no - I could never insult your mother like that.”

“But you’ll do it behind her back?”

I could feel Frank’s eyes burning the back of my head. “I’m just saying… We English people like to eat English food.”

I’d paused in doing the washing up, too angry to speak. I clenched my fist around the sponge, dishwater pouring out of it over my pruning hand.

“I don’t mean to offend you, Florence.”

“Really?” I scoffed. “Because you’re doing an excellent job of it.”

“Don’t be like that.”

I threw the sponge into the sink and turned a glare on him. “In future, if you don’t like the food my mother pours herself into for hours on end, don’t fucking come.”

He shushed me, that smarmy look on his face again, and he placed his hands on my waist.

I felt sick.

“Calm down, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just airing my thoughts. I love Daniela’s food - always have.”

“Please take your hands off me.”

“Florence, come on,”

“Floss.” I corrected him through gritted teeth, trying to move away from him.

He laughed at me. “What’s got you so wound up today, aye?” He started stroking my sides.

“Lo juro por Dios, si no me quitas las manos de encima te castro.” I threatened to cut his dick off if he didn’t stop touching me.

Someone cleared their throat and knocked on the kitchen door. Frank took a frantic step back, and I could feel my face burning.

Harry was standing just outside the door, with Oscar and Ruby playing just behind him. He looked a little pale in the face, expression unreadable. “Sorry to interrupt,”

“No, no,” Frank raised his hands, “you’re fine, young man. I was just heading back out anyway - you carry on.”

I couldn’t help but notice the subtle glare on Harry’s face as he watched Frank leave the room. I was already gawking at him when he met my gaze again.

“I, um, just wanted to let you know that we’re gonna head off, if you don’t mind?”

“Oh,” I shook my head, “of course not. Um, did you both have a good time?”

“I did.” Harry smiled, though it wasn’t quite as genuine as I’d seen before. “Oscar, have you had a good time?”

Oscar stopped whatever it was he was doing with Ruby and peered up at me. “Yes, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” I smiled back at him.

Harry stroked a hand over his son’s floppy curls. “Ready to go?”

Oscar silently nodded.

Ruby and I walked the dentist and his son to the door and waited for them to safely get into their car and drive off, waving at them the whole time like those Chinese cat statues with the funny arms.

“Having a good day, poppet?”

Ruby stood right in front of me, her head craned to look up at me with the biggest smile. “Yes, thank you, Mummy.”

“Good girl. We’ll have a nice day tomorrow as well, just me, you and niñera y abuelo, sí?”

“¡Sí!” She shouted back, and opened her arms wide.

I giggled, leaning down to pick her up around her middle. She clung to me like a koala did a tree - her arms around my shoulders and her legs hooked behind my back. I pecked her nose and her cheek, and she did the same right back to me.

“Te amo, Mamá.” I love you, Mummy.

I hummed loudly with the proudest grin on my face. I loved hearing her speak Spanish. “Yo también te amo, querida.” I love you too, darling.

Early on Sunday morning, I pulled everything for the puppy’s arrival out of the shed in the back garden and set it up in the living room. Dad was already on his way back from Wisbech with the puppy in tow, apparently fast asleep in the front passenger seat.

I’d bought a penn for him because I couldn’t have him running riot around the whole house in the middle of the night, and I wasn’t particularly keen on having him in bed with me or Ruby.

I had to be as quiet as possible because I desperately didn’t want Ruby to wake up before Dad arrived with him, otherwise it would ruin the whole surprise. I made sure everything was ready for the dog, and then I started decorating the living room with more age appropriate decorations than the lual nonsense from yesterday. I’d bought a big pink foil balloon shaped like a number 6 yesterday before her party, and I was pleased to see it had managed to last overnight.

Mum and Dad turned up just after 8 o’clock, which was lucky because I was starting to worry Ruby would’ve been awake 2 hours before, but I hadn’t heard a peep from her.

I made sure the door didn’t make a sound when it opened, and Dad had the puppy on a short lead so there was no chance of him going on a mad rampage through the house before I got Ruby out of bed. He was keen to look around, so Dad walked him around the house for a bit to get him familiar with his new home. After ten minutes of mooching, I sat with him on the floor to calm him down a little.

“There’s that handsome young man I remember seeing!” I whispered, stroking over his head over and over while he licked up my arms. “You are so beautiful, Ruby’s going to be such a happy little girl today.”

The dog flailed around in my lap, ferociously wagging his tail and grunting with all his excitement.

“Can you do me a favour, mister?” I still spoke to the dog, stroking my hands down the length of his little body in the hopes it would settle him. “I need to go and get Ruby so she can come and meet you, but you need to be really good and really patient while I do. Can you do that?”

The dog ruffed, and I started to get antsy.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!”

I pecked the top of his head a couple of times, and left him with Dad again while I stood up and brushed myself off.

“Shall I make her some breakfast, Floss?” My mum asked, clearly itching to get in the kitchen.

“She wanted some of the leftover obleas - it’s all in the fridge.”

Daniela nodded. “I’ll get them out and ready - make it look nice and pretty for her.”

I lifted my head slightly, biting away a smirk. “Alright.”

I made my way upstairs, lightly knocking on her bedroom door as I peeked my head in.

Ruby lifted her head up, eyes struggling to open and mouth formed in a little ‘o’.

“Buenos dias, cumpleañera.” I said in my quietest voice.

“Buenos dias, Mummy.” She grinned in a gravelly whisper.

I sat on the edge of her bed, smiling at her pretty little face. I wiped the corners of her eyes where sleep had collected, and then stroked the back of my finger against her soft cheek. “Must’ve needed that sleep, it’s nearly 9 o’clock.”

She nodded, rubbing at her own eyes. “I was tired.”

“Shall we get you some breakfast, then? Grandma and Grandad are waiting downstairs, I think they’re hungry.”

“Okay.”

I helped Ruby out of bed and downstairs, letting her go first. As soon as she walked into the living room, she saw the puppy waiting for her. He was sitting like an angel, and either Mum or Dad had wrapped a ginormous blue bow around him.

Ruby squealed, and the dog yapped excitedly, running straight for her out of Dad’s grip. He leapt into her lap, licking her face and trying to crawl all over her. I’d never seen such joy on her face and it almost brought me to tears. Dad was laughing and Mum kept repeating, “Que preciosa,” how precious and, “Hermosa,” beautiful over and over again.

Eventually the dog got so excited that he started running between everyone else for attention as well, and I did have to say it was joyous to watch.

Ruby immediately came to me once she was able to, and wrapped her arms tightly around me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“It’s not just me - Grandma and Grandad helped get him too. He’s from all of us.”

She kept saying thank you as she skipped around the room to each of us. “I’m so happy! He’s exactly what I wanted!”

Thank God. I felt like a physical weight had been lifted off me.

“After we’ve all had some breakfast we can take him for a walk.” Dad said, stroking over her hair. “Hopefully it’ll wear him out a bit.”

“Okay!” Ruby grinned.

Seeing my baby that happy was overwhelming. I knew that in that moment, no matter what stress that animal might cause me ever the next few months while he adjusted, it would be worth it to see Ruby constantly delighted like that.

ten

We drove out to the Sherborne Park Estate at around lunchtime, parked up, and began walking. We started easy, far enough that Bongo would exert some energy for when we stopped to eat, but not so much that we’d be carrying him around for the rest of the day.

We walked through the centre of the park first, through the woods and around to the village. In the village we had lunch in the local and always popular tea room, charging up ready for the rest of the afternoon. From the village we did a huge loop, walking east all the way to River Windrush and then following it along to the Watermeadows, and finally back down to the car park through the common and Picardy Copse.

It was a beautiful day for a walk like that, and a beautiful day to celebrate my baby’s birthday with her new best friend.

Bongo was incredibly well-behaved for such a young puppy. People stopped constantly to give him attention, and he lapped it up like any good boy would. He never barked, he never jumped, he never bit, he never growled. He just basked in his new life of being the most popular dog around. In the car on the way back he stretched across the backseat, with his chin resting on Ruby’s knee and his paws poking into my thigh.

I was overly conscious about our nighttime routine with him. While he was so young I wanted him to stay in his penn because I’d read horror stories about sofas being destroyed and fridges being raided. I was desperate for that not to happen.

“Mummy, can he sleep with me in my bed tonight?” Ruby asked in the evening just before I was about to put her to bed. She was sitting at the end of the sofa with the dog in her lap, stroking over the top of his head.

“We need to get him used to his cage, muffin. If we let him sleep wherever he wants to he won’t be disciplined when he’s older and he’ll be too big for that.”

“Oh,” she pouted, a devastated sigh leaving her. She never argued any further.

I went up with her, resting my head on the side of her bed while she talked herself to sleep. Bongo had decided to join us but I wouldn’t let him on the bed, so he sat next to me, ferociously wagging his tail. Once Ruby was safely off, I took the puppy back downstairs with me.

“You’ve had a long day, haven’t you, mate?” I chuckled as he stretched out next me, his chin on my thigh. I stroked him from his head to his back over and over.

I watched TV for a little while longer, but I was tired too and eventually decided to go up early.

I ushered Bongo into the penn, gave him a couple of chin scratches and a peck on the head, and then dropped some biscuits into his bed. Obviously he ate the treats without question, and I made my escape.

Just as I reached the bottom of the stairs, he started whimpering. I stalled, guilted but the sound. My chest tightened and I tried not to turn back to him to give him the attention he wanted. I was out of sight so he didn’t know that I’d stopped, and I waited to see if he would calm down.

I knew the longer I waited listening to him the more likely I would be to give in to him, so I marched upstairs and pretended I hadn’t heard it. I readied for bed and tucked myself in, dozy as soon as my head hit the pillow.

It was quiet. All I could hear was the wind whistling through the houses from the field. I didn’t hear a car, I didn’t hear a conversation, and I didn’t hear the puppy downstairs.

Until he barked.

When he started barking, it wasn’t fully formed. It was like those little yappy things you hear on dogs that are smaller than cats. But it was still loud, and I was scared Ruby would wake.

I whined and sat up, throwing the covers off me. I hurried back downstairs while making as little noise as I possibly could, and sat on my knees in front of the puppy before he could make another sound.

I shushed him, stroking over the top of his head where he sat upright in his bed. He licked my face and hands, like it was some kind of bribe for me to stay with him. I was stupid but I wasn’t that stupid.

I waited with him for ten minutes before I tried again, because I could barely keep my eyes open, but all the events from my original attempt repeated themselves. Bongo started crying as soon as I was out of sight, and two minutes after he started barking.

“Fuck sake,” I muttered, and marched my way back downstairs.

I stood in front of him with my arms folded and a scowl on my face. “Right, let’s get one thing straight, mister. I am in charge of this house, not you. You stay down here at nighttime and you go to sleep like a good boy, and I go to bed upstairs like a normal human being. Got it?”

He stared at me, completely silent.

“Good. Now, I’m going to bed, and you will stay here quietly.”

I turned around and opened the latch on the penn. In the next second, Bongo had shot out and was on his way to the stairs.

“Oh, you little shitbag.” I said through gritted teeth.

When I found him he was charging excitedly from the landing, into my room and back again. Once he spotted me, he ran back into the bedroom and jumped onto my bed. He padded his way around it for a while and then plonked himself down in the middle of the two pillows.

I dragged a hand down my face and tried not to squeal.

Crawling onto the bed, I shooed him away with my hand and hiss-like noises. He growled playfully and ran to the end of the bed, and I took my opportunity to settle back down. Bongo curled up right next to me only seconds later.

Once again, as I was close to drifting off, I was interrupted by something else.

“Mummy!” Ruby shouted in a whisper from the doorway.

“Ruby, go back to bed.” I said without even opening my eyes.

“You said Bongo had to stay downstairs!” She argued, climbing up onto my bed. “You lied, you just wanted him all for yourself!”

“That’s not true.” I shook my head against my pillow, eyes still shut. “He was barking and escaped.”

“I think you should let me sleep in here with you to say sorry for lying to me.”

I rolled onto my back, utterly bewildered. She was smarter than me, that was for sure. “Fine, but you have to go to sleep, Ruby. You can’t stay awake all night and play with the dog - he needs to learn a routine and you need to keep yours.”

She hummed thoughtfully, over-exaggerating with it in that way that children do, and then grinned. “Okay.”

She crawled under the covers on the empty side of the bed and settled right down. “Night night, Mummy.”

“Buenas noches, querida.”

In the morning I took Ruby to school and she got upset because she couldn’t take Bongo with her. It must’ve been frustrating for her - I could understand where she was coming from. Yesterday all she’d done was spend time with her puppy, it was all the world revolved around, and now she was being dragged back down to Earth. All it took for her to calm was the reminder that he’d be waiting for her when she finished, and it was our day to look after Oscar. She ran off towards the school gates, nearly face-planting on her way there.

“Now that is a handsome boy.” Zara said once she arrived at the garage, abandoning her things in the middle of the floor and dropping to her knees in front of the puppy.

I watched with a small smile as Bongo made himself familiar with the new face and his new surroundings, tentatively lifting his muzzle up towards Zara and sniffing her before he decided she was acceptable.

“What was she calling him again?”

“Bongo.” I said, and zipped up my coveralls.

“Great name. How did something so smart come out of you - your child is a genius?”

I shook my head. “No idea. Must be something from her Dad. Tea?”

“Go on, then.”

I slipped out of the office to the kitchenette at the back of the garage and made a round of tea for us. I drank it while I was going through the pile of forms for cars that needed to be fixed. There was a lot.

“Did you notice anything weird between Geri and Owen on Saturday?” Zara asked, perching on the edge of the desk. She took forms from me as I handed them to her - jobs that she could easily do.

“Nope.” I lied.

Of course I hadn’t forgotten about the argument they’d had in the living room while I was pretending not to be in the near vicinity in the kitchen. But Geri’s issues with her husband were none of my business, and I didn’t intend to find it out without her telling me on her own accord.

“They were behaving so weirdly, I swear. He wouldn’t look at her.”

“Maybe they’d just had an argument.” I shrugged.

“Me and Mickey had had an argument, but we didn’t just not talk to each other. And Owen left without saying anything. Not a chance in hell did he leave early because he was sick. He was slurping down those frozen things that your mum puts alcohol in like nobody’s business.”

“Cholados.” I reminded her. “I think you’re reading too much into it, Z.”

“I’m gonna ask her.” She decided in that instance. “Was she at the school this morning?”

“I didn’t see her, but I don’t in the mornings very often.”

Zara wandered off with her job forms in hand, leaving me to feel more concerned than I had over the weekend. I appreciated that Zara was probably just trying to be a good friend, but I knew what Geri was like, and I knew that she didn’t like other people poking into her business. If what Owen had said was true and she was leaving him, that was something she needed to come to us with, not the other way around.

Later on Zara told me that Geri had replied to her text, but she’d said nothing was wrong and she and Owen were fine. I told her to leave everything alone after that.

That evening I was curious as to what would happen with Bongo. I couldn’t have him stay in bed with me again - it disrupted Ruby’s bedtime routine.

I decided to stay up as late as possible, putting him in his cage before I went up but staying up with him for a little while longer. He did curl up in his bed after a while of sitting and staring at me, and I turned the TV right down so I could hear his breathing.

It took a bit longer than I’d have liked, but I remained patient. He kept standing up, circling a few times on the spot and then plonking back down again. He did this maybe ten times before he finally nodded off. I listened to him snoozing for another hour before I took myself to bed.

I was glad when I got to the stairs and he didn’t cry, and more so when I got into bed and fell asleep, and was not awoken by the sound of his barks downstairs.

I don’t know what time it was when I woke up and needed the toilet, but I hadn’t heard a peep out of him. I decided to look in on Ruby to make sure she was alright before I used the bathroom.

I tried not to lose my temper when I saw that at some point she’d woken up, gone downstairs, and brought the puppy upstairs to sleep with her. He was curled up next to her by her feet, snoring away. I knocked my forehead against the doorframe.

I couldn’t wake them up now. I’d have a barking dog and an upset child.

That morning, I made sure she knew she wasn’t to do it again.

“But he was crying, Mummy!” She insisted, a little scowl on her face. “I didn’t want him to be alone and I didn’t want him to wake you up.”

“Ruby, he has got to get into a routine with us, we can’t just let him all over the house because he cries at night - he needs discipline.”

“It was just last night, I promise! I won’t let him with me again.”

I knew at that point all I could do was take her word for it.

On Tuesday afternoon I was ready for a fight. I’d prepared all of my receipts from sending Ruby to that awful morning club, and was just waiting to pounce on Lorraine. I took Bongo out of the car and let him drag me by the lead. Geri was standing alone, which I found odd at first considering Harry was also waiting, but then I realised he was being heckled by three other mums. I didn’t know what he was saying but it couldn’t have been as funny as Debbie was making it out to be.

“What’s going on there?” I asked, tightening Bongo’s lead as I stood next to Geri.

She leant down with a smile to pet the animal, greeting him with the same cooed, “Hi, gorgeous boy,” as she did yesterday. “Just pointless flirting. I was talking to him to begin with, and then one of the mums I don’t know joined us and started asking about molars and flossing. But she was flirting so I gave up and left.”

I snorted. “Sounds painful.”

“It was really weird, I won’t lie. Like, I know he’s a dentist, but I don’t think talking about molars in a flirtatious way is going to get the bloke to like you.”

“What even are molars?”

Geri turned to me with a frown. “They’re… teeth, Floss.”

“Oh.” Was all I said.

I looked in the direction of the dentist. He was wearing scrubs on his bottoms again and a plain white t-shirt, one arm folded across his front and supporting the other, rubbing his hand into his stubbly cheek. He also didn’t say a single word, while Debbie didn’t look like she was ever going to shut up.

In the next second he glanced in my general direction, meeting my gaze. He lifted his hand away from his face by way of a wave. I didn’t know what to do, then. I’d been caught staring. I forced a smile, but looked back to the gate.

“Why are you so afraid of that man?” Geri asked. I wasn’t looking at her but I was sure she was smirking.

“I’m not afraid of him.” I lied.

“Floss, you couldn’t be more terrified of him if you tried. I know he’s a dentist, but he’s harmless.”

“Dunno what you mean.”

Seconds later, Bongo suddenly got excited, weaving through my legs and away from me.

“Hey,” I said, following where he was trying to run off to as I gripped his lead tighter, “stay here, please.”

It turned out Harry had excused himself from conversation about general dentistry to come and speak to us. Or the dog, I wasn’t sure.

“Hello,” He said immediately to the puppy, crouching down to give him some fuss, “hello.”

I watched, stunned and frozen in my place while the dentist gave the dog his full attention for a solid minute, stroking and cooing included. I couldn’t not watch - it would be almost rude not to. A good-looking man in scrubs and a cute puppy fawning over one another? They made whole calendars with this kind of content.

Geri nudged me, and I finally looked away to find that everyone else was watching him too. I felt under pressure.

Harry finally stood to his full height and smiled at me. “Y’alright?”

I nodded tightly. “Yep, you?”

“I’m fine.” He shrugged. “Much better for seeing this good boy.”

Bongo was still fighting for his attention with hand licks and standing on his back legs while pawing up Harry’s front.

We waited in silence for the children to appear, with me staring ahead and trying not to draw attention to myself, Geri picking her nails, and Harry still playing with the dog.

Then, I spotted Lorraine across the car park talking to one of the dads, and I forgot about everything else around me. “Excuse me,” I muttered.

From where she was standing it looked like she might have been trying to avoid me, but she had a fat chance of that happening. As soon as she noticed I was coming, her initial expression was shock, and then she squared herself off.

Bongo was trotting alongside me and stopped when I did. Then he did something I didn’t expect - he looked up at the woman I was ready to fight with, and immediately growled.

Interesting!

“Come to pay the money you owe me, Florence?” Lorraine goaded.

“No. How many months in total was Ruby coming to you?” I demanded.

She scoffed at me. “I don’t know.”

“Considering you’re asking me for more money, do you not perhaps think you should know?”

Lorraine opened her mouth, but never actually said anything.

“How many months?” I repeated.

“I don’t know!”

“Then go and find out!”

Her expression fell, mouth parted. Then, in a snap movement, she shook her head and marched away, scowling. I watched her as she yomped across the car park, muttering away to herself.

The dad she was talking to before gave me a judgemental look. I glared at him when I turned away.

“I have never seen you like that before.” Geri said, eyes wide but quite obviously entertained by my little outburst.

Harry snorted. “I have.”

Bongo was fussing around my legs, little squeaks coming out of him. I sighed and bent down to pick him up. He licked my cheek and then pushed his head into it.

“I’m sorry, but I am not going to be bullied by that ridiculous woman. I don’t care what she’s told the other parents and whether they believe her, she’s a cunt.”

I waited and waited for Lorraine, or Ruby, to appear from the school. Something was obviously keeping the children back but we hadn’t been told anything about it if that was the case. Sometimes they held these emergency assemblies and sent us an email about it an hour before the end of the day. If they had sent one, I hadn’t seen it.

Lorraine finally came back, cheeks pink and her shoulders slumped. She didn’t usually look so miserable. She made her way straight over to me, but she was obviously conscious of the other parents watching. I put Bongo back on the floor, and he’d already begun growling at her.

“22 months.” She said, barely audible.

“Sorry?”

“22 months.” She repeated, much clearer, followed by a defeated huff.

“Right.” I shoved my pile of bank statements into her chest and folded my arms. “Count them.”

She looked at the receipts and then at me. “What?”

“They’re all there, highlighted to make it easier for you. So I want you to count them.”

People were starting to whisper and it was irritating me. I knew we were a spectacle for the bored parents of this sleepy village, but I wanted them to see that no matter how stupid I made myself look, I wasn’t going to let other people get away with it.

Lorraine stood and counted every highlighted transaction on the papers in front of her. She held her breath at the end, the paper crumpling in her hands, and then she counted them again.

“Well?”

She swallowed. “22. There’s 22 here.”

“I thought so.” I said, snatching the paper back from her. “Thank you very much.”

“It was an honest mistake, Floss.”

“I don’t care if it was an honest mistake.” I said, folding my arms. “You were pissed off that I went mad at you in the car park, and you found the first thing you could to try and make me look bad in front of all of these people like some kind of dumb revenge. You knew exactly what you were doing, whether the error was genuine or not. Did you really think that as someone who runs her own company I wouldn’t know how to handle my fucking finances?

“I’m so sick of this fucking nonsense with you. You fucked up by trying to hide the fact that your son is a bully, and that you enabled him. Whispering shit to him about my life so that he could use it against my child. And then I called you out on it and you got angry, so you bitched about me to the other parents and then tried to embarrass me in front of them. Do you know how petty that is?”

Lorraine swallowed, “I’m sorry.”

“I know I am not the smartest person in this village. I know people think I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I have never cared what people think of me as a person. However I will not accept someone taking their dislike for me and trying to make me look like a bad parent, because I know that is one thing I’m good at.”

“Mummy!”

At the sound of Ruby’s call I took a deep breath and searched for her. She was running towards us, finally, and my face broke into a smile.

“Hola, querida,” I said, crouching down to accept the hug she always gave me.

Ruby choosing to hug me first over the dog helped me emphasise my point to Lorraine without me even having to.

When I stood up again, Lorraine had already gone.

“¿Vamos a casa de la abuela?” Are we going to Grandma’s?

I stood back at her fully formed question, laughing. “Who taught you that?!”

“Someone came in today to teach us some Spanish! I asked at the end of the day so I could say it to you.”

I shook my head with a smile. “That’s… okay. Well, did you know the most out of everyone else?”

“Yeah! No one else knew any Spanish.”

“Well, there we go. Did you learn any other phrases?”

“Hay una serpiente en mi bota.”

I narrowed my gaze and remembered one of the kids in her class was mad about Toy Story. I snorted. “Of course.”

“What does that mean?” Geri asked.

“There’s a snake in my boot.”

Harry giggled.

Geri smirked and looked down at Ruby. “Hugo?”

She nodded with a big grin.

“Alright, let’s get going. Grandma will be dying to hear about Spanish classes.” I put my free hand to Ruby’s back. “Say bye to everyone.”

“Bye everyone!”

eleven

On Wednesday when I got to the garage there was already someone waiting on the forecourt outside. I didn’t recognise him as local, and he was leaning against the side of his blue Lamborghini Huracan with his arms folded and a pair of sunglasses on that looked too big for his face.

I parked in my usual place out of the way of everything else and stepped out of the car, feeling much less glamorous than he looked.

“Good morning,” I said to him with an expectant expression, but went straight to the garage door to unlock it.

He seemed taken back by my genuine greeting. He looked at his watch and then back at me. “Are you always this tardy?”

I frowned. “I don’t know what that means.”

The strange man pushed away from his car and made his way towards me. Meanwhile, I tussled with the garage door until it finally gave in.

“Are you always this late?”

I looked at him, offended by his question. Up this close I noticed things I couldn’t see before. He was an older man but not old, maybe in his late thirties or early forties. I only guessed this from the salt and pepper hairs around his ears. He had a very square face, but in a kind of attractive way, and when he took his glasses off I found a very blue pair of eyes. He was dressed smartly, in a white dress shirt not buttoned all the way up, and black tailored suit trousers. He looked exactly like the type of person who would drive a blue Lamborghini.

Before I could respond to his rude question, he made a comment that confused me.

“Wow.” He said, taking a step back when I tried to stand straighter.

“What?” I asked with a furrowed brow, but moved towards the buttons on the side of the doorway to finish opening the garage door. It was loud while I did, too loud to hear a man speak.

The stranger’s gaze flicked between me and the ascending garage door, trying not to express his amusement.

I waited for him to finally say what was so… wow, trying not to appear as irritated as I was.

“You’re very beautiful.”

I blinked at him. I couldn’t see how that had anything to do with me being late. “What’s your point?”

Now he looked confused. “I… don’t have a point.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay,” I said around my exhale, and turned away from him to get Bongo out of the car. He was sitting in the window when I reappeared with a cocked head, and it was quite cute.

“How long will it take to sort the car?” The weird man asked, following me as I walked Bongo through to the office.

“Well, I’d need to know what’s wrong with it first.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, it just needs a service.”

“Right,” I rolled my eyes, but he couldn’t see me do it. I settled Bongo down in his bed and then found a form for the customer to fill out. “It usually takes a few hours.”

“So I’ll have it back soon? Like, today soon?”

I stared at him blankly, and looked out into the crammed garage, and then back to him. “Not today, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because all those cars in the garage have actual things wrong with them and they’ve been waiting longer.”

“I can pay you more to prioritise it. Money is no issue.”

Must be nice.

I gave him another perplexed stare. “If you’re so keen to get it done, why didn’t you take it to an actual Lamborghini garage?”

“Because a friend recommended you. And the Lamborghini garage charges an arm and a leg for a service.”

“You’ve literally just said money isn’t an issue.”

He took a moment, unsure what to say, but his bemused smirk said it all. “Alright, fair enough. But you were recommended to me and I’d really like it to be done today. Please.”

“No.” I shook my head, handing him the form on a clipboard.

“Why not? I’ll literally pay you double whatever you would normally charge.”

“I won’t be bought. Sorry.”

“Oh, come on.” He laughed in a kind of pained way. “These other people won’t know.”

“These other people can’t afford to pay me double. That Nissan has been there for three days, and you can sod off if you think I’m not going to start on it right away because you’re too impatient to wait.”

He pressed his lips together tightly. “What’s your name?”

“Floss.”

He tipped his head. “Floss, as in the dental stuff?”

“No, Floss as in Florence.”

He was obviously confused but he was still smirking. “Well, Floss. You drive a hard bargain. Is there anything I can do to convince you otherwise?”

“No.”

“Really? My son is looking to become a mechanic, I could get him to come and help you. Maybe if it works out you could give him a job.”

“If your son is looking to become a mechanic, maybe you should get him to service your car.”

He laughed again, like he was in agony, towards the ceiling. “Come on, Floss. What’s a man gotta do to get his car serviced around here?”

“Wait.” I said, and folded my arms. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but we could talk about this all day and it won’t change anything, and I’ve already wasted too much time talking about it. You either leave it here, or you don’t. Your choice.”

The man looked at me for a while, and he was obviously fighting with himself. “You know it’s not very often I don’t get my own way.”

“I believe you.”

He sighed and started filling the form out, but he was enjoying himself. “You know, I quite like the idea of having my car looked at by you. And on the plus side of leaving it here, I get to come back and see that pretty face of yours again.”

I took the form from him when he handed it to me, and hooked the clipboard under my arm. “Do you need a courtesy car?”

He bit away a smile. “I might do.”

“Is that a ye-,”

“-Morning!” Zara announced herself. She was carrying a small brown paper bag and a two-slot tray with coffees on the top.

I lifted my head at her as she passed, and she wasn’t shy in eyeing up the man standing in front of me.

“Don’t worry about the courtesy car.” He said rather quickly. “Just give me a call when you’re done with her.”

“Okay.”

I was admittedly relieved to see him go, and my tense posture dropped once he finally left the garage.

Zara came to stand next to me, chewing on a croissant. “Who was he?”

“Some minted Lambo owner.” I said, looking at the information on the form. Darren was his name. He looked like a Darren.

“He was sexy.”

“He was annoying.”

“Yeah, but he was sexy.”

I grunted at her and turned away.

“What did he want?”

“A service.”

Zara’s laugh was dirty. “You could give him a right good service if you tried hard enough. And he’d enjoy it.”

I paused, narrowing my gaze at her. “You’re not talking about the car, are you?”

“No I’m bloody not, he was delicious. Let me tell you, if I was single I’d-,”

“-You don’t need to tell me, Z. Leave some for the imagination.”

I wandered into the office and left Darren’s form on the bottom of our to-do pile. Or rather, on the bottom of Zara’s to-do pile, since she usually did the service jobs.

“Cheers for the coffee.”

“My pleasure. I was running late so it was the least I could do.”

I spent the rest of the day stressed at how much work I had to do, and found myself late collecting Ruby from the dentist’s house again. He must’ve thought I was utterly useless.

I had no idea what I looked like marching across the pebbles up to the front door, but at that point in the day I didn’t really care. I knocked twice and then folded my arms.

It took Harry barely a minute to come and answer. He swung the door open, an easy smile on his face again and in a pair of bright green jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt. “Hi,” he started, and then he frowned at the sight of me, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I’ve just had a busy day.” I shrugged, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Harry pressed his lips together, still frowning at me like he was debating something. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, it’s alright. Honestly. I really just need to get Ruby home and fed.”

He studied me for a little bit longer. “I don’t mind if you want to have a little bitch, Floss. ‘M all ears.” He flicked behind his right ear with a little smile.

I bit away my own. “I appreciate that, but-,”

“-Mummy!”

Ruby appeared behind Harry in the hallway, a big grin on her face, and she sped out to me to give me a hug.

“Hola, querida.” I said as I hugged her back. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders. She was warm and it felt wonderful around me. “¿Cómo estás?”

She looked at me with a hum, playing with my hair in the ponytail I had it in. “Soy bueno.”

“Buena.” I reminded her. “You’re a lady.”

“Ruby,” Harry said, and we both looked back his way. Oscar was standing by his legs with a little smile on his face. “Do you and your mum want to stay for dinner?”

Ruby gasped and looked at me, eyes bright and warm. “Can we, Mummy? Please, please, please?”

“Er…” I was lost for words.

“Please?” She begged.

I looked back at Harry, who had a smug grin on his face, probably because he knew I didn’t have a way of saying no.

“Mummy, please?”

I sighed and put her back on her feet. “I guess we can, yeah.”

“Yay!” Ruby squealed, and started jumping up and down. “Can I go and get Bongo?”

Shit, I’d forgotten about the dog.

I met Harry’s gaze again. “I’ve got a blanket he can sit on.” He offered.

“Oh, are you sure? I’ve got one in my car if you’d prefer?”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

I gave Ruby the key to the car so she could go and retrieve her puppy, watching carefully to make sure there wasn’t an accident where he ran off or accidentally tripped her over. She ran straight into the house with him and Oscar, leaving the key with me. I locked the car from where I stood.

“That was really naughty of you.” I said to Harry as he took a step back to let me in.

He laughed, cheeks a little rosy. “What? It was Oscar’s idea - blame him.”

I toed my shoes off by the front door and followed the dentist through to the kitchen in the next room.

Even though the house looked big from the outside, inside it was still very much like a cottage, with low ceilings and exposed beams. The kitchen was open plan with a dining room, spread from the front to the back of the house, the counters overlooking the garden, and then a four-seater breakfast table in the front window, with a cushioned bench.

In the next room was the lounge, where the children had toys spread out everywhere, of which Bongo was animatedly sniffing.

“Ruby, you keep a close eye on him.” I warned her, “And don’t let him get on any of the furniture, alright?”

“Okay!” She agreed, but I wasn’t convinced she’d actually listened to a word I said.

Harry put a large woollen blanket on the floor by the back door, folded up multiple times so that it was comfortable enough for him. “That alright?”

“More than alright, thank you.”

“What do you want for dinner, kids? Takeaway?”

“Yeah!” They screamed in unison.

I gave Harry a bemused frown. “Where are you gonna get a takeaway from in Bibury?”

“The Catherine Wheel.”

“They don’t deliver…”

He smirked. “They do to me. What would you like, Ruby?”

I watched with fascination as Harry took the children’s orders, and then he nodded me back into the kitchen and told me to make myself comfortable. I gingerly sat at the dining table, not comfortable at all.

He moved around his kitchen with ease. It was like watching a practised dance as he found glasses out of cupboards and bottles out of racks. His arms were everywhere and his legs swanned around. His back muscles rippled with every slight movement and it was embarrassing how closely I watched his every move. I was so fascinated by him I didn’t realise what he was doing until he screwed the top back on the wine bottle.

“Harry, I can’t have a drink.” I shook my head as he presented me with a glass of red wine.

“Why not?”

“It’s a school night, and I have to drive home.”

He shrugged, and sat in the chair next to mine. “It’s only one - you’ll be fine.”

I set my jaw, but I tried not to give away just how frustrated I was. Today was not the day for this. I didn’t need to get hot under the collar over this man after my horrendous day.

“What happened at work?”

I stared at him, noting the relaxed posture he held. He was sitting, but in a rather laid-back way, literally. He’d sunk into the chair, legs stretched under the table, and his right hand was resting on the base of his wine glass.

I tried to make myself as small as possible. “It was just busy - it has been all week. But things just kept coming and kept coming. I’m only one person.”

“Haven’t you got, um,” he scratched his face as he tried to remember, “Zara there with you?”

“I do, but she’s not a mechanic.”

“Oh. What does she do, then?”

“Literally everything else. Services, anything cosmetic, if you know what I mean?” He nodded, so I carried on. “If someone needs a temporary car she’ll handle it. Basically anything that doesn’t involve fixing a car, she does. But at the moment there’s a lot of cars that need fixing.”

“I see.” He nodded again. “Well, I’m sorry you’ve had a shit day.”

I shrugged. “It might not have been so bad if I hadn’t started off the day talking to some utter prick.”

Harry tapped the table. “Tell me more.”

I rolled my eyes. “He was rich. Like, richie-rich. Turned up in a bright blue Lamborghini Huracan and asked why I was late.” I scoffed. “Then when he actually looked at me he was… well, I guess he was flirting with me, and it was odd. Then he wanted to pay extra for me to get the service done faster and I told him no, and he got really funny about it.”

“Funny how?”

“He said he had a son who was training to be a mechanic and tried to get me to hire him to help.”

“That’s weird.”

“I know.”

“Also, Lamborghini garages have services where you can drop your car off and get it serviced there and then.”

“That’s what I said!” I nearly shouted. “But he didn’t want to pay for it, which was ridiculous because he was offering to pay me double the price for the service just to get it done quicker.”

“I mean… from an income point of view, that might not have been a terrible thing.”

“Harry, I’ve got cars sitting in that garage that have been there nearly a week because I haven’t had time to get to them. I’m not going to pander to a spoilt rich man just because he couldn’t be bothered to wait.”

“Alright, I guess I kind of see your point. What was the outcome?”

I grimaced. “He left it with me because he said at least he got to see me again, or something.”

Harry giggled. “God loves a trier.”

“He was a cock.”

“How do you manage to attract these weird men all the time?”

“Dunno, but it might explain why I’m sat here with you.”

The dentist’s mouth fell, and he brought his hand to his chest. “Ouch.”

I took a drink from the glass Harry had poured for me, and I had to admit it was an incredibly satisfying feeling. It made me feel warm inside. Still on the tail end of the comment about weird men, I thought about what Harry had seen on Saturday with Frank.

“I’m not having an affair with Frank, by the way.”

Harry’s head craned back a bit, eyes wide and with a tight smile. “What a statement to make.”

“Oh,” I smacked my face into my palm.

“I don’t even think I know who Frank is, but I’m glad we cleared that up, Floss.” He was laughing, breath around his wine glass making it sing a little as he took a sip.

“No, because I know you saw something on Saturday, and I don’t want you to think-,”

“-Oh, that bloke!” Harry sat forward, patting the table again. “I was going to mention something after but I didn’t want to make you more uncomfortable, which it was obvious you were, by the way.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure how it looked from an outside point of view.”

“You looked like you wanted to murder the man, Florence.”

I screwed my face up, feeling hot. “I did.”

“What did you say to him?”

“What do you mean?”

Harry swallowed another sip of wine. “I heard you say something to him in Spanish.”

“Oh,” I laughed but it was nervous, “I think I said I’d chop his dick off if he didn’t stop touching me.”

Harry nodded with a smile. “Nice. Can he speak Spanish?”

“Not as far as I’m aware. But he’d spent 5 minutes bitching about the fact that my mum only ever made Colombian food when we have a party. Speaking to him in a language he didn’t understand made me feel kind of…”

“Powerful?”

“Yeah? I guess?”

“Well, I’ll tell you it makes you superior to him, that’s for sure.”

I smiled at the table, and I knew I was blushing - I could feel it in my cheeks. “When I was little my mum always used to say she hated that man, and still does now, but I didn’t really know why. And then as I got older it started making sense. Now I hate him more than my mum does.”

“Who even is he?”

“One of Dad’s friends. His wife is also really good friends with my mum, but she’s fuckin’ blind. I think my mum told her once that Frank is a nonce, but it didn’t go down very well.”

Harry's laughter was like barking. “Did she really call him a nonce?”

“Something like that. I don’t think she realised the real meaning of the word at the time.”

“That’s funny. I do like your mum.”

I was nodding around a smile. “Most people do. She’s so Latin in so many ways, like she’s fiery and a bit loud, and very opinionated. But she’s also really… nice? Like a really good kind of nice. Kind, gentle… you know.”

“I do. My mum is the same. Just not Latin.”

That made me giggle for some reason. “You don’t think about how important it is to have a good motherly figure in your life until you’re older, do you?”

Harry took a deep breath and looked towards the living room. “No, you don’t.”

I realised then that he was probably thinking about Oscar and the lack of someone like that in his life. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

He looked at me with a frown. “About what?”

“That stupid comment I just made, I didn’t mean to-,”

“-Jesus, Floss.” He shook his head, laughing breathily. “You don’t need to apologise. We moved down here for a reason - I miss my mum but Oscar needed to form that relationship with his other grandparents too, and I couldn’t do that where I was before.”

I watched him for a moment, but he didn’t seem upset. “Do you miss home?”

He pursed his lips. “Sometimes. I think it was a shock to the system at first, but I maybe kinda prefer it here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! It’s so quiet, the school is good. Well, apart from the bullying incident, but it is good everywhere else. The people are nice, excluding Lorraine. I like it here.”

“That felt like a very small list.”

“I’m serious! I can’t explain it, but it’s just… it’s lovely here. And Oscar is happy and that’s all that matters.”

I took a deep breath. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

“Would you ever consider moving for Ruby?”

“I’d do anything for Ruby.” I said without hesitation. “I mean, we have everything here that we need - my parents are here, I grew up here and I wouldn’t want to pull her away from that, but if I needed to for whatever reason then I definitely would.

“I actually sometimes think about going to Colombia or one of the other countries down there, but my mother hated it so I’m not entirely convinced it would be any good for us.”

“I don’t know anything about Colombia so I couldn’t say, but I imagine uprooting her life like that might not be best. To move to a new town or city is one thing, but to move to a completely different country is entirely another.”

I smirked. “They your words of wisdom, are they?”

Harry laughed. “Absolutely. Although it was more observation than wisdom.”

I wished he wouldn’t use big words like that.

When the food arrived Harry asked the children to come and sit with us, apparently not keen on Oscar eating in the living room. I hadn’t ever thought about a rule like that - Ruby and I just always ate together at the kitchen table.

After we finished eating I also asked for a pint of water and necked the whole thing for sobriety purposes, not that I was drunk. Ruby thanked Harry and Oscar for having us before even I did, and then we drove home.

Even though I was exhausted we still had to take Bongo for a walk. Ruby could barely keep her eyes open and I ended up carrying her half way around. We called it a night and I promised Bongo a longer walk in the morning before work.

Chapters twelve, thirteen & fourteen

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Meso's Mixtapes: Handplates Gaster

In honor of the Handplates comic by @zarla-s finally coming to an end, I decided to finally get back to work on my Mixtapes and do one for their interpretation of W.D. Gaster as a sort of thank you. But before I do, I want to talk for a moment about what this comic has meant to me. I was around 12 or so when I first got into Undertale. I was a pretty sheltered kid and wasn't really allowed to play video games, so I watched playthroughs and listened to the ost all from YouTube. And it was through this that I came across the dubbed version of the comic. I was instantly captivated by the acting and the editing, but the thing that pulled me in the most was the emotion behind the storytelling. Even when I was younger, I had no interest in any sort of AUs, but this one not only caught my attention, but held it in a vice. I binged the entirety of what was available of the comic on YouTube twice, and didn't tire of it one bit. But of course, as the years went by and my interest in Undertale faded, I stopped watching. It wasn't until a few months ago while scrolling through Tumblr that I found the comic again and that it was still being updated. So I picked up the comic right from the beginning and read it all. And to my surprise, it was just as incredible as when I read it all those years ago. To this day, Handplates has been the only AU out of really any media that I enjoy, and I'm not even the biggest fan of Undertale anymore. The fact that an AU has captured my attention longer than the base game itself really speaks to how well written this comic is. I would (and have) genuinely suggest it to people who aren't even into Undertale, specifically for how this comic is written. Unfortunately, I was unable to interact with the community due to no access to social media as well as rediscovering the comic so late, but I've fully enjoyed looking through the archives and reading all the asks, extra comics, and posts about it; it really made me feel like a part of the community after all. I don't know what Zarla has planned for the future, but whether it be little one-off Handplates comics, other Undertale stories, or even a bigger project in something else entirely, I will be eagerly tuning in. This comic has meant a lot to me, and I couldn't be more thankful. Now, without further ado, the playlist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Villain by Stella Jang (There are a few different ways you could interpret this song, but for the sake of this mixtape, I see it as the idea of "you can be doing something good, but doing something evil to achieve it still makes you the villain". As the song says, there are many shades of grey; "the person I love the most could be a dog to somebody else" and "the person you hate the most is somebody's beloved child" perfectly explain this. It's the basis of "the ends don't justify the means", which is the exact opposite of the ideology Gaster follows over the course of the comic. Although he does this for the better of monster society, he is still aware of the fact that what he is doing is deplorable; that's part of what makes him such an interesting character to examine.) Rule #27 - Drunk on Pride by Fish in a Birdcage Dying Day by Landlady Dentist! by Alan Menken (I had to include this after Zarla mentioned it in a post a while back, and I gotta say it really does fit in a hilarious way) Wernher Von Braun by Tom Lehrer (I debated on whether or not put this one on the list, but in my opinion the line "'Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down? That's not my department!' says Wernher von Braun" does sound like something he would say; sort of that mentality of "Hey, I did my job. That's not my problem." he showed during scene where the worker was requesting that handrails be added to the CORE. Plus it's Tom Lehrer.) Priest by William Crighton My Friends by Steven Sondheim (The only reason I included this song was because my headcanon voice for Gaster is Len Cariou. Although I will say that my friend also suggested Sam Neill specifically because of the scenes in Jurassic Park where Alan meets Tim and Lex and when he explains how the raptors hunted to that kid at the dig site since they both seem like something he'd do and I stand by that assessment 1000%. Both of those are perfect to me.)

Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo Euthanasia by Will Wood Alles im Griff (auf dem sinkenden schiff) by Udo Jürgens ("Ich hab alles im griff auf dem sinkenden schiff" loosely translates to "I have everything under control on the sinking ship", and the song is basically about all of these bad things happening to the narrator, and the narrator just bottling it all up and saying "This is fine. I'm totally fine." If that doesn't describe Gaster, then I don't know what does.) Zombie by The Cranberries (Considering what the song is about, I felt like it would also stand as a good representation for the hardships and trauma war can leave . And yes, I know that's not the main theme of the comic, but to me at least, that theme was crucial for how some of the characters developed. Not just Gaster, but Toriel and Asgore too.) Everything You Ever by Joss Whedon Total Recall by pragmaticNihilist (Ok, so this one needs a bit of explaining more so than the others. This song is one of the themes for the character Secily Iopara from the game Snowbound Blood, which is technically a sort of prequel/spinoff from the webcomic Vast Error. At least in my opinion, Gaster and Secily share several defining traits: both are easily consumed by work to the point where it takes a toll on their social life as well as their mental health, they push away the people that care about them in order to make things easier for themselves, they both basically devoted their entire meaning to one person [Asgore and Ahlina respectively], and their life's work was their downfall. I just thought it was really interesting how two characters from completely different stories manage to share so much, and how one was able to succeed in fields where the other character failed. Things like this in media have always been something I've enjoyed, so I felt compelled to include it.) Venetian Blind Man by Will Wood Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier Good Old Days by Weird Al (I'm sorry but I couldn't resist adding this one. It was way too funny to not. I am so, so sorry. This is the last "not really serious one" I swear.) I'm Not Supposed to Care by Gordon Lightfoot (First off, the opening line is already perfect, but I can definitely see this song as the sort of the encompassing theme for the final pages of the comic when they're on the surface. The people who were Gaster's family have no idea who he is or how much they mean to him, yet he's still more than willing to devote himself to them and their happiness, which we see mainly with him and Asgore. My interpretation of Gaster's interactions with them are perfectly summed up by this song: He feels like he shouldn't care as much as he does because they're no longer who he knew, but he can't help it. They no longer love him, but he still loves them and will do whatever he can to make sure they're happy, even at his own expense [both before falling into the CORE and after]. Gaster sums up the basis of his own mentality perfectly: "As long as you will have me, I will stay.")

[bl-bracket]

So I know this is sort of unrelated to the brackets, but you seem familiar with a lot of bls since you run this blog and have a large following of bl enthusiasts. I think it would be cool if there could also be a way to give people recommendations (you or your audience) so we could be more familiar with all the people in the polls (besides just watching a show blindly).

Oh this sounds like a lovely idea! I've definitely already discovered dramas that I hadn't known about before through this (I mentioned in my response to the question about my favorite BLs but I discovered DNA Says Love You from someone submitting one of the characters from it lol). I've only really been in the BL fandom for about a year and a half, so I have lots more I can learn and would love to hear more about dramas that I might not be as familiar with from y'all too!!!

During the submissions period when we don't have any active polls going on, feel free to send me any recs for dramas and I can publish them here! Could be especially smart if you have some lesser known characters you want to give a better shot at winning! I'll use the tag #show propaganda

I can start by giving a few recs of some of my favorite lesser known dramas! (Though y'all can give recs for well known dramas as well!)

Ghost Host Ghost House (2022): Kevin has come from America to visit his extended family in Thailand and to also do some ghost-hunting for his ghost hunting show online. While he's there, he meets Pluem who works for his family and is also terrified of ghosts. Things get more complicated when it becomes increasingly clear that Kevin's family is hiding something from him. I loved this show so much (binged it all in one night when I couldn't sleep)! The chemistry between Kevin and Pluem is insane and so sweet! The story itself is also great and emotional and really hits you in the feels. The main problem this drama suffers from is being too short. I think it would have greatly benefited from an extra couple episodes to flush out some more of Kevin's character and backstory, but it still is a fun watch!

My Tooth Your Love (2022): Bai Lang is a restaurant owner with a crippling fear of dentists and a bad toothache. He gets dragged by his older sister to the dentist office where one of her juniors from university is the owner/head dentist, Jin Xuan. Bai Lang reluctantly begins to trust Jin Xuan more and the two get closer, but Bai Lang is struggling with a lot more than just a toothache. Despite its silly premise, the show definitely gets a lot more serious and dark at times and definitely made me cry at a few points. Again, the leads have great chemistry and the main thing the story suffers from is its length as some of the B and C plots get lost, but it still gives a satisfying story for the main plot and is definitely worth it!

Jack O' Frost (2023): Salaryman Fumiya and illustrator Ritsu have been dating for some time now but after a fight, the two break up and Ritsu runs out of their apartment. While he's out, he gets into an accident and gets amnesia, completely forgetting who Fumiya is entirely. Fumiya, who regrets breaking up with Ritsu, sees this as a new opportunity to start again and hopefully get the relationship right this time and decides not to tell Ritsu that they had been dating and had broken up. But Ritsu wants to regain his memories and has the growing feeling that something is off about his relationship to Fumiya. This normally isn't my cup of tea (I'm not big on stories about breaking up and all of that) BUT I really liked this one. It's just such a pretty show with such a profound sense of loneliness in it, especially as it hops between flashbacks of Fumiya & Ritsu's relationship when it was going well and when it was falling apart and then cuts to how things are now. The guy who plays Fumiya really hits for me. I know the last episode was a bit of a hit or miss for some people but I liked it (and also it seems like final episodes aren't always the strongest element of the BL industry). This is also not a show to watch if you like happy stories or healthy relationships lol.

[hasufin]

Being heard

I know this won't go over well with support people, but I'd like to point out that one of the most important aspects of any form of customer support is listening. Many people get very frustrated because they don't feel heard. They end up having to explain the same problem time and again, going over all the steps they've already taken, and then being told how to fix a different problem, or to do things they just said they've done.

The example I have is, I've spent most of this morning trying to find a pharmacy which can fulfill a pain medication prescription. I've already called all the local pharmacies I can find. Their answers are:

No way, no how, we cannot do it. (best, most honest answer)

We can totally fill it! It's been on backorder for, uh, three years (really! I am not exaggerating.) but we're definitely gonna have it for you in three days. Maybe.

Ooooh. No idea. Give us the prescription and we'll check with our supplier.

Now, the thing is, I know the rigamorale when you give a pharmacy a prescription and then they decide they aren't gonna fill it. In theory they are supposed to give you the prescription back, but in practice it's always "lost", and "You should ask your doctor to write it again". Which is not viable for me, since the doctor is about 40 miles away and I will be in severe pain (hence the prescription for pain meds, funny how that works). So I'm trying to find someone who can actually fill it first.

Since calling pharmacies has not worked, and my dentist also hasn't been able to help, I tried my doctor. My doctor suggested asking the insurance company. And so I have.

This is where I am getting to my frustration. I have spoken with my dental insurance, my regular insurance, and their drug benefit provider.

In each case I've explained: I do not yet have the prescription, I am trying to find a place which can fill it. I am not worried about paying for it, I am worried about it actually existing. I have already called every pharmacy I can find and none of them say they can fill it.

The answers, with each one, are:

a. I'm sorry, we won't cover that.

b. Have you tried calling around?

c. You should ask one of your other insurance providers.

And, yes, I can get they don't have the answer either. But these responses completely ignore what I'm presenting to them. They heard a few keywords and gave me an answer no better than if I posed it to ChatGPT.

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2022)

...Aha ha ha...

Well, at least that’s over, I guess? I feel such a bone deep exhaustion I don’t even know what to say about this last year. Does anyone? One more year older, I suppose. Last year at this time I felt like I really needed to take it easy on myself going into 2022, but that just led to me drifting aimlessly through this last year as if stuck in a bad dream. Things really are still very rough...

2023 seems to be gearing up for another year of “Who knows?” Will it be better? Will another disaster strike? Let’s hope the former, and not the latter!

This year, like every year, there will be a new set of 50 promises to keep (or break), but in the mean time, here’s how I did on the promises from 2022!

Promises I Made (2022):

1) Get the Utah house chimney repaired before it falls down.

Status: Kept. It doesn’t look “brand new,” but it is properly sealed now and with new mortar between the bricks. Crisis averted.

2) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.

Status: Broken. The Utah house needed a lot of improvements and unfortunately this wasn’t one of them that got done.

3) Get the Utah house sprinklers up and working ALL the way for this summer.

Status: Broken. I literally tried so hard to get someone out to work on these damn sprinklers and not a single person got back to me on this. Guess I’ll have to try again next May...

4) Actually get the back fence fixed up and the greenery back there trimmed and managed.

Status: Broken. I hate those goddamn vines so much. I HATE THEM.

4) Get an official exercise routine including walking/jogging, please.

Status: Somewhat kept. Most of the year I was pretty bad on this; however, I have a new puppy and she is learning to walk so I do got 4-5 miles a day now that she’s managed to work up to that.

5) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2021 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.

Status: Ugh, broken. See the above “sat around and did nothing but work for 3/4s of the year.”

6) Successfully set up and use the Roomba my family got for me to hopefully cut down on allergies.

Status: Broken. Okay listen. I was all ready to do this, then I got a P U P P Y. Who chews everything. The Roomba would not survive. It’s stationary until she gets a bit bigger and stops chewing.

7) Keep up with the specialist appointments that my doctor is making for me. No more getting confused on dates and missing…

Status: Kept. I actually managed to get in to see the RIGHT specialist this year who actually diagnosed my issues correctly. Too bad the recommended treatment is surgery that will be several thousand out of pocket...

8) Go see the dentist again because I think I broke/chipped one of my old fillings and it is not feeling good.

Status: Kept. The old filling was indeed broken, but it has been fixed!

9) Finish all the books I received as gifts from 2020 through 2021. It’s rude not to finish books people gave you out of love.

Status: ...Ahahaha. Broken. More books appeared, rather than disappeared, from the list.

10) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.

Status: Damn, broken. I could have done this, but I didn’t think to do it before I left town for the holiday, and now I’m not on my home computer to do it. RIP.

11) Get my new SSD hard drive fully installed and working before going back to work.

Status: Kept.

12) Get a decent paper shredder to shred old mail.

Status: Broken. I completely forgot I made this promise. I do still need a shredder though. D;

13) Get the fucking post office to STOP delivering other people’s mail to my house. 90% of the mail that comes to the mailbox isn’t even for me and it is driving me C R A Z Y.

Status: Broken. Jesus fucking Christ. I am trying so hard. I talked to the postmaster TWICE and they still won’t stop delivering other people’s mail.

14) Get the Texas house dishwasher fixed… I’m so tired of washing dishes by hand… How do people do this, oof.

Status: Broken. I could have and I just didn’t.

15) Get a plumber to stop the dripping spare bathroom faucet and also check behind the wall in the side bathroom… This is gonna be expensive, ugh.

Status: Kept. It was fucking expensive.

16) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate my retirement accounts. I have been putting this off for like five years now.

Status: Broken. I completely forgot I made this promise. But damn I also still need to do this, lol.

17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that new paint program I bought.

Status: Broken. Oof.

18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year but I hope I can make progress on this.

Status: Broken. I was doing so good for a while there, then my car had a major issue that cost over $2000, my back fence blew down in a storm and cost $1700 to re-fence, and I had to pay over $800 for the above-mentioned plumbing fixes... Back in debt again. Fuck you, 2020s.

19) Be a super prepared boss and be ahead of the game on all major requirements for the semester, rather than feeling like I’m playing catch-up all the time.

Status: Broken. Spring 2021 was really good. I thought I did really well that semester. Fall 2021... was a nightmare. Just a complete disaster. I felt so far behind on everything from Day 1. I’m just praying I can do better this year.

20) See a groove-billed ani. This will be the year!

Status: DUDE, I kept this promise so hard that I no only saw a groove-billed ani, I ALSO saw a smooth-billed ani, which is like 100 times rarer. I saw some great birds this year!

21) Make it to 3500 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m awesome. :D

Status: Broken. Despite the porn bots best efforts in November/December, I did not, in fact, make it to 3500. I would have had to POST something to get new followers, after all.

22) Update HaaH at least once. I will do this, no matter what.

Status: Broken. Jesus fucking Christ, I’m so bad at this.

23) Finish streaming all the new Marvel stuff with Kacchan.

Status: Broken. I was REALLY, REALLY close to caught up. Then Marvel released like 50 new movies and 500 new TV shows and I am very much giving up on this lmaooo.

24) Save up to finally buy one of those Ember heated tea mugs.

Status: Kept. My family bought me one for Christmas!

25) Do a better job of working with and representing the other disciplines in my department. I’m really good at advocating for English, but Communication and the foreign languages under my department need more support, and I need to step up for them.

Status: Kept, though mostly by necessity. All our full-time Spanish instructors retired so guess who had to help redo all the Spanish curriculum despite not speaking Spanish???

26) Use the sugar scrub Echo. Just use it. Pamperrrrrr yourself for once…

Status: Broken. It’s RIGHT THERE. Every day, I look right at it, and did I use it? Not even once.

27) Help my parents save money on their bills by consolidating their services and making some calls to retention of these companies for them.

Status: Somewhat kept? I honestly did try very hard on this one and was prevented from succeeding by my parents just being completely unwilling to change, even to save themselves money. Oof.

28) Bird watch in at least three brand new locations this year. I have a tendency to just go back to the places I know, and I’m probably missing some really great birding sites.

Status: Broken. I bird watched one brand new location this year, but alas, only one.

29) Keep up my medicine prescriptions successfully without letting them lapse.

Status: Kept. The new medicine is like the one thing standing between me and death, so I don’t usually forget it anymore lol.

30) Play with my dog and cat more often. They’re bored because I’m working too much, I know.

Status: Somewhat kept. I tried this year to cut down on the amount of work I brought home, but other situations made it really difficult to do so. My poor cat in particular definitely needs more attention.

31) Call an exterminator to finally get the ants that keep coming in from somewhere actually dealt with, instead of just spraying them with bug spray even other week and calling it good.

Status: Kept, in that the ants are gone? After I went away for the summer, there was no water running in the house, so the ants stopped coming in, and even after I came back at the end of summer, they just never came back? So I’m counting that as a promise kept?

32) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.

Status: Ooops. I forgot I made this promise. Broken.

33) Speaking of FFXIV: This year, I’ll obtain every in-game orchestrion roll. I’m already 80% of the way there.

Status: Broken. See, the issue with this promise is that they keep adding MORE orchestrion rolls... Not sure what I was thinking lol.

34) Get a new rose bush for the front of the Texas house and keep it alive.

Status: I did not do this. Broken.

35) Get King’s prescriptions moved to the closer vet so I don’t have to keep driving two hours away each month to get his medicine.

Status: Kept, in a sense. I was able to move his medicine over to the new vet, but unfortunately, there didn’t end up being any point to it. At the end of January in 2022, he was diagnosed with throat cancer. He lived until April 2022 and then passed away. My beloved boy...

36) Buy the Noragami volumes I am missing from my collection and do a full re-read of the series so that I can write meta about it again. Right now it just feels like there are so many things I can’t properly remember…

Status: Broken. I still greatly want to do this, but at this point, I’m kind of just waiting for the end of the manga so that I can officially catch up and re-read it from start to finish.

37) Go to Zion National Park with Derby.

Status: Kept. We hiked so much.

38) Go horseback riding on the island. I’ve never ridden on a beach before!

Status: Broken. I did not do this, RIP.

39) Eat healthier. Maybe cutting out snacks is too much to ask, but at least replace some average meals with salads, etc. and overall make an effort to actually eat better. Sometimes the fact that I feel garbage is my own fault.

Status: Mostly broken. The stress was so real this year.

40) Related to feeling like garbage: NO MORE WORKING AFTER 9PM. If it’s a real emergency, okay, but otherwise, it is time to set a boundary about working from home after hours.

Status: Broken. I must have been on crack when I made this promise, because honestly there is no way I could possibly have done the job I have without working to midnight many nights of the year... Someone save me...

41) Get a new office chair, an actual nice one, and some plastic to go under the chair to make it easier to move around.

Status: Broken. I... probably should have remembered to check in on the promises more than a few times this year because I also totally forgot this one.

42) Finish decorating the main office. I’ll feel better if my workplace reflects the level of professionalism and school spirit that I envisioned it having this year.

Status: Broken. I know exactly what I want to do with the rest of the office that isn’t decorated, I just never got around to it. T_T

43) Ensure our department successfully meets all its IEP goals this year.

Status: Kept! We were the first department to confirm completion of all goals!

44) Try to be more comprehensive with giving feedback to students. I’m always good at providing detailed comments on essays, but I’d like to spend more time commenting on smaller assignments too this year.

Status: Broken. I was trying in Spring 2022, but in fall, I was double over-loaded on courses on top of all the administrative work I had and could barely keep up grading at all, let alone give more feedback.

45) Write an FFXIV fic. Even if it’s just a one-shot, write something for this series. I need to express my love…

Status: Kept! I wrote a whole bunch for #FFXIVWrites and even received an art prize for participating! <3

46) Be more proactive about the cleaning. No more accidentally forgetting to take the trash can out to the curb. At least once a month do a full dust and vacuum of the house, not just the one room I spend the most time in (my office lol).

Status: Surprisingly, kept. I don’t really know why, but my house was somehow much cleaner in the latter half of this year. Did I unlock the secret stress cleaning routine?

47) Participate in NaNoWriMo. Even if I don’t finish, just participating again will feel great.

Status: Broken. There was zero chance I could have done this while overloaded on courses.

48) Get a screen door put on the side door of the Texas house. This really needs to happen and I can’t believe I just remembered.

Status: Broken, although not for lack of trying. I did actually have someone come to try to measure for a screen door, but it turns out the door is not a standard size and it would be way too much money to get a custom screen door made.

49) Don’t forget anyone’s birthday or any other holidays this year. (I forgot a close friend’s birthday last year due to being stressed with work and I’m still upset with myself over it.)

Status: Mostly kept. I did better this year--not perfect, but better!

50) I will keep my promises!

Status: OOF. Mostly broken promises this year. 2022 was another hard one. I’m on the struggle buss.

Kept: 16

Somewhat kept/somewhat broken: 3

Broken: 31

Good luck, 2023′s Echo!

[meditating-dog-lover]

Health Updates May 28, 2023

So I've been feeling much much much better recently. I felt so miserable and unhealthy for the past few years and felt like I was physically (and mentally) declining. I didn't have any severe or dire illness or symptom, but a bunch of unpleasant systemic symptoms happening and adding up caused me to feel unwell and miserable and hopeless. I did a mineral scan at a holistic dentist's office and it turns out I had many nutritional deficiencies and some heavy metal exposure.

I started supplementing since then and have been feeling a lot better. My skin is healthier looking, my nails don't break as easily and are sturdy, my angular chilitis disappeared, I don't have dry nor irritated lips anymore, my hand eczema is looking better (zinc combined with some plain old Vaseline did the trick) - while I do deal with some dryness, I do not have deep cuts and flareup anymore, I feel more energetic and optimistic, I recover quickly when I'm sick, my teeth sensitivity is gone and can drink cool water without any problems (glad that I am taking phosphorus as it's hard to find a supplement with phosphorus), and less cravings for sugar and junk. So overall, I feel much healthier.

I do plan on going back to that holistic dental practice to do a retest (they told me to come back 2-3 months if I want to do a rescan). So I'm going to be doing that and I hope my deficiencies end up looking better. I'm still going to supplement even after doing the scan and I know some deficiencies take a bit longer to correct than others, but I just want to ensure that I'm getting out of the deficiency range for each vitamin and mineral. I have also been taking some chlorella for omega-3 and heavy metal chelation (trying to find ways to reduce heavy metals). I also wanted to meet with a holistic doctor sometime to talk about this and to also get a gut health evaluation so I know if I have any issues and if I need to alter my diet or to take and probiotics/prebiotics/digestive enzymes. Probiotics should be taken cautiously as the gut microbiome is delicate and altering it can lead to some adverse effects. So it's best to take a supplement if absolutely needed and to also make sure I'm taking the right kind of bacteria.

While I did see a holistic dentist for my health concerns, I have also made some changes to my oral health routine. I'm using a new toothbrush and toothpaste and ditched mouthwash. I've also started using woven floss since it cleans better than the gliding floss I've been using all this time (I use Cocofloss). Only issue is that floss is pretty expensive, so I'm on the lookout for a more cost-effective floss with the same texture. Also oral probiotics are super helpful too. I don't want to bombard myself with too many new products and supplements, but I'm still looking for a cheaper floss alternative, wondering if I really need to floss in the morning/water floss and if I need to consistently take an oral probiotic. I had a question about my gum health which I will be asking my dentist about and then we can decide what to do from there. I think simply switching up my toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss helps with that. Not sure if I really need to water floss or oral probiotics. We will see. Vitamin C can help with this too.

So overall I am so happy I've been taking measures to improve my health holistically. People think holistic medicine is pseudoscience, antivaxxer/treat health problems with essential oils and prayer and healing crystals nonsense. But what it really is - looking at the root cause of health problems instead of addressing symptoms by giving temporary quick fixes like pain meds, antibiotics, ointments, etc. The root cause of many health issues is stress, poor diet, poor sleep, insufficient physical activity, nutritional deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, poor gut health, and heavy metal exposure. So I hope. toaddress each and every point so I can lead a happy and healthy life.

[eldritchsurveys]

1226.

Do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc) >> I'm amused by the examples given, because none of that stuff is of any concern to me. I'm already (unconventionally) married, I'm probably never going to be college material, and I'm definitely not having children or meeting any other of those Common Adult Milestones. The stuff that freaks me out about the future is thinking I'll never have a social support system, I'll never be able to afford any kind of therapy, I'll end up living and dying in a place I hate because I can't afford to live anywhere else, I'll never know what actual financial security feels like, I'll never know what actual emotional intimacy with another person in this outworld realm feels like... oh, and of course I worry about ageing and increasing disability, seeing as I live in a country that is perfectly content to let poor people suffer and die.

Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? >> I don't use coasters, and my tidiness isn't excessive at all, thank you very much.

Are you usually late, early or right on time? >> I am usually early or right on time -- early if I'm taking public transportation because the timing doesn't always line up well and it's better to be too early than too late in that case.

On a scale of 1 to 5 how organized are you? >> 4? I don't know how to quantify this but I do love being organised.

Name a movie you can watch over and over again and not be bored with? >> I don't do this with movies at all, even ones I love. I usually wait at least a year before rewatching any movie (barring exceptions like how I rewatched Lisa Frankenstein like a week after I saw it because Sparrow wanted to see it and I didn't mind rewatching it).

Do you still have your tonsils? >> I do.

What is the worst thing someone has ever done to you? >> There's a pretty long list of awful things people have done to me, and I certainly don't feel like sifting through it to figure out which one was "worst".

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public? >> I have not.

Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? >> I don't share a bed anymore, but during the times when I did, it was usually the other person that did these things. Comparatively, I slept like a corpse.

What is your mom listed under in your phone? . Do you like going to the dentist? >> Absolutely not. The anxiety and aversion I experience at the dentist is over 9000.

What’s the most worthwhile thing you’ve done in the last year? >> I mean... continued existing? That's hard enough as it is. Have you ever made out with someone? >> Sure.

What time do you get sleepy? >> Typically, around 22:00. This can vary depending on how sleep-deprived I am.

What music do you listen to? >> So, so much. I mostly identify as a metalhead but like, this morning on my walk I was listening to (and reminiscing about) gospel. You really just never know, with me.

How old were you when you started to walk? .

Which member of your family do you get along with the best? .

What cheers you up when you’re sad? >> Can Calah, most reliably. Also, various shows I like. Have you ever tanned topless? >> I don't tan, period. My melanin is permanent.

What’s something you’ve been told you’re good at? >> Writing. Are you a cat or dog person? >> I'm not a pet person in general.

Have you ever done drugs? >> I have. I do.

Recommend a really amazing book. >> Just gonna go with Episode Thirteen again like in the last survey.

Recommend a really amazing song. >> You Ain't Coming Back by Zeal & Ardor.

Recommend a really amazing movie. >> In the Earth.

Who’s your favorite actor/actress? >> Matthew McConaughey.

Have you ever run away from home? >> I tried to, anyway.

Do you like your hair, the way it is and the color? >> There's really nothing to like or dislike about it, it's undyed and in a buzzcut. Extremely unremarkable.

Are you a Disney movie fan? >> Not especially. There are a few I like, but not nearly enough for me to consider myself a fan of Disney itself.

Do you eat seafood? >> I do.

So where the hell do you want to go in life? >> Hm. Are you claustrophobic? >> I am not. Do you like getting wasted? >> We used to, but I personally no longer possess the constitution or the interest in being heavily intoxicated. It no longer sparks joy.

Do you prefer Angels and Airwaves or Rihanna? >> I don't prefer either.

If your house was on fire (and your family escaped), what would you save? . Does caffeine make you hyper? >> I certainly don't consume enough of it to experience hyperactivity either way. I have like one eight-ounce serving of coffee like every two weeks or whenever I remember that coffee exists, and I enjoy the somewhat heightened sense of clarity and mental acuity for a while. I'm sure if I had any more than that I'd likely just tip over into being jittery and anxious, which is unfun and pointless. When are you going back to school? >> LOL

Do you like reading self-help books? >> The self-help industry is a racket and I'm not interested. I do read psychology-based books, like for example stuff that works with the Internal Family Systems model, but that's my limit when it comes to "self-help books".

What is your opinion on sex change? >> I'm into it. Very, very pro-HRT and SRS.

It seems like everyone’s addicted to Twitter these days - are you? >> Twitter's site culture never appealed to me, even back when it was somewhat less unhinged. Now? Absolutely fucking not.

What is something you have recently realized? >> I feel like I mostly just circle back to the same realisations but... bigger, or deeper, or whatever. It's not a loop, it's a spiral, etc.

If you could study abroad for a year in a foreign country, which country do you think you would choose, and why? .

If applicable, what song are you listening to right now? .

If you could choose three US states to visit, which three states would you pick? >> Honestly, I'd go anywhere at this point. I just need the novelty.

Do you think you express yourself better in writing or out loud? >> Writing. I'm a very clumsy speaker.

What’s the most amazing miracle you’ve ever witnessed? >> When I think of miraculous occurrences, I always think of times when I was really going through it, when shit was bad bad, and there'd be a moment where something really cool happens and it just... feels so much more profound and vital because of how awful everything else is. You know? Like for example, last year I was having a rough time and I went and sat out in the backyard and I found a perfect cicada shed just sitting on the tree, right at eye level, like it was left for me. I love cicadas. It felt special, like a hint that something was still rooting for me, wanted to give me a little bit of joy and wonder. I still have it, it's on my vanity.

Do you enjoy being home alone? >> Oh my god, it's the best. It's when I feel freest. ...Wow, that really doesn't look like a word, even if it is one. Most free. Yeah, that's better.

What is the most magical thing you’ve ever experienced? >> Dammit, and here I've already used my cicada molt story. Thinking of these things is taking too long, I'm going to pass.

What was the last hot beverage you drank? >> Tea.

Have you ever donated blood? >> I have not.

Would you rather attend a yoga class or a Zumba class? >> Either is fine. Depends on what kind of energy I have that day, I suppose.

Have you written anything down today? >> I have not.

What color is your camera case (if you have one)? .

What are three things you like that start with the same letter as your middle name? >> This would also take me forever.

Which do you use more: Facebook or Instagram? >> I don't use Instagram at all, so Facebook by default. Would you say you’ve had a good week so far? >> It's been fine, I suppose. I've definitely had worse weeks, just in the past month alone.

What are three of your favorite ways to enjoy spring? >> Go for lots of walks to admire all the new plant life, throw open every window in the house, uh... rejoice that I survived another winter? Yeah.

Do you own a pair of pink pants? >> I don't. I wouldn't be averse to it, though.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WAS

But if angel investors become more active and better known, they'll increasingly be able to reach most of the changes will be for the better. You can use that target growth rate. Ditto for PayPal. Are there zero users who really love you, but they know better than to be friends with the people whose discoveries will make them so. A few steps down from the top. Professors have to publish novel results to advance their careers, but there won't be many of them. When we cook one up we're not always 100% sure which kind it is. So the deals take longer, dilute you more, and impose more onerous conditions. They'll just have become a different, more conservative, type of investment. C was written by people who needed it for systems programming. But I could be wrong. What you're really doing when you start to see growth, they claim they were your friend all along, and are aghast at the thought of a 30% success rate at fundraising makes my stomach clench.

Being around bad people would be intolerable. And it's true, the benefit that specific manager could derive from the forces I've described. Jessica Livingston, Robert Morris, Eric Raymond, Guido van Rossum, David Weinberger, and Steven Wolfram for reading drafts of this. But only about 10% of the time we could find at least one good name in a 20 minute office hour slot. Actually what they need to do two things, one of the keys to retaining their monopoly. And so ten years ago, he could teach him some new things; if a psychologist met a colleague from 100 years ago, writing software pretty much meant writing software in C or Perl. Now we needed to stay alive.

We'll probably never be able to match. I think hiring people is the worst thing a company can do. Hacking is something you do with it. Because they haven't tried to control it too much, Twitter feels to everyone like previous protocols. Nearly all your attachment to it comes from it being attached to you. Why programmers, more than dentists or salesmen or landscapers? So why did they even evolve? For example, the Honeywell thermostats in my house have the most atrocious UI. Barbershops are doing fine in the a department. Imagine the obelisk of startups. And now that I'm an investor, the thought of our startups keeps me up at night. The process inherently tends to produce an unpleasant result, like a student who hasn't prepared for an exam.

To be self-funding—Microsoft for example—but most aren't. You just try to get people to pay you for stuff. Investors' opinions are explicitly tested: startups come to them and they have started to use it? You're better off avoiding these. That's true. A rounds creep inexorably downward. That's nonsense. They're increasingly rare, and they're going to get rarer. The company being sold.

But the way they write software. How much is that extra attention worth? To the popular press, hacker means someone who breaks into computers. The founders can't enrich themselves without also enriching the investors. People don't do hard things gratuitously; no one will work on a harder problem unless it is proportionately or at least to know what an n 2 algorithm is if you want to avoid writing them. In fact many of the people who had them to continue thinking about. Fortunately if this does happen it will take years. And when the Mac appeared, it was obvious that rapid development would be important in this market. Was there a connection?

In a world of small companies, performance is all anyone cares about. It must once have been inhabited by someone fairly eccentric, because a lot of investors hated the idea, but they don't need as much of the innovation is unconscious. You know what a throwaway program is: something you write quickly for some limited task. This may not be easy, because a they may be, but more a way of predicting performance. Civil liberties make countries rich. One thing it means is that at least 20-25% of the code in this program is doing things that you can't be pointed off to the side and hope to succeed. A round.

[dovveri]

looking for love

bachelorette masterlist - part 2 • part 3 • part 4 • part 5 • part 6 • part 7

synopsis: sana asks y/n to join her on the next season of the bachelorette, undercover. night 1.

w/c: 5.0k

a/n: first fully fledged work! tysm for all the love on the inspo piece 🥹 i was also lowkey winging this as i went again so some names that come up are completely made up and some not so much if i feel strongly abt that person (cough heechul) and so i also have no idea what i wanna do w the characters introduced yet but we’ll see as we go 🤪 hope you enjoy!

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

“i’m going to be the next bachelorette!”

you choke on the overly sweet concoction sana always got whenever you visited this cafe.

“excuse me?”

sana grins and pats your back, swapping the drink in your hand with a much preferred matcha infused espresso that was your go-to. she always insisted on trying each other’s drinks no matter how many times you told her her’s would always be way too sweet and she told you she didn’t care. she needed you to feel what she felt, taste what she tasted.

“i was kinda in a moment of weakness when i applied, i swear i didn’t think i would get in! it was just a silly haha like what if y’know?” she sips on her drink humming in satisfaction.

“no. i don’t know. i’d rather move back in with my parents than go on that show.” you deadpan.

sana whines, “y/n c’moooooooon. jihyo had just left me for that muscly gym rat and i needed some love!”

“do you know how many times we’ve sat on my couch and laughed at that show? like… 19, 20… too many!” you pulled out your fingers to count for emphasis. “besides, all the people that go on there aren’t even there for the right reasons. they’re all just there for their 5 minutes of fame. you won’t find what you’re looking for there sana.”

she pouts, “and what would i be looking for exactly?”

you sigh exasperatedly, “LOVE!”

patrons around the cafe glance at the two of you weirdly before you shrink and whisper-shout, “love sana! you deserve the massive beach house with the dogs and kids and family running around. someone you can go home to and eat with, dance with, laugh with. someone who knows your atrociously sweet coffee order and still gets it for you even though you always get cavities. someone who will force you to go to the dentist and hold your hand while they fill those cavities, and then buy you ice cream after despite their better judgement.”

sana’s smile gets wider and wider as you go on. finally she wraps you in a big hug and squeezes, all giggles and the smell of fresh laundry.

“and that’s exactly why i need you as my bestest bestest friend to come stay with me while i’m on the show!”

“...wait… wait wait wait wait sana, no. what… huh?” you push her backwards holding her by the shoulders shaking slightly trying to get some sense in her.

she giggles, “you heard me! you know everything there is to know about me, plus, because this is the first bachelorette season where there’ll be girls and guys the producers wanted to push as much novelty as possible. so they asked if there was anyone i’d like to bring with me to help in the decision process and of course i said you! pleaseeee? you said it yourself, you know exactly what i’m looking for, i won’t be able to do this without you.” she gave you her best puppy dog eyes, leaning in with a dangerous pout.

fuck it, you were never one to say no to her anyway. at least this way you could make sure whoever she ended up with was someone who deserved her.

you sigh, “fine but you owe me. like big time owe me.”

she squealed gleefully attacking you with kisses and a tight squeeze of her arms. “i love you i love you this is gonna be so much fun!!”

you smile at her antics wrapping your arms around her and hugging, “yeah yeah love you too you idiot.”

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

the next few months are filled with preparation as you’re both briefed on how the show’s going to run, where you’ll be staying, and all the little details. the bachelorette pad was a big villa nestled in the hillsides with incredible views, 2 bedrooms, and a fully equipped kitchen and pool. there were always people there, hair and makeup, costuming, scripting, it was probably as far from reality as reality tv could get. but it also meant you and sana didn’t have to do anything because people helped you move in, prepared all your meals for you, dressed you, gave you talking points, all the showbiz.

finally, opening night came and you were separated from sana to join all the other suitors as an undercover agent. you were to pretend to be one of the people lined up to meet her but you were really there to sus out all the contestants even before they put their television personalities on. to see if anyone was really the real deal.

currently, you were in a limousine with 3 other contestants about to pull up to the bachelor mansion where all the participants would be staying. the three of them would be the first to meet sana and you smile politely as they get off the car one by one looking antsy and nervous.

eventually it was your turn and you stepped out of the car with a practiced smile, adjusting to the brightness of the lighting and beginning your walk down the red carpet. behind you, you can hear your limousine pulling away and another one holding the next batch of contestants pulling in.

your form-fitting white dress trails behind you lightly, heels clacking softly on the red carpet as you catch your first glimpse of sana.

oh my god. she’s wearing a pastel pink flowing dress adorned with pretty pink roses with her midsection exposed showing the smooth planes of skin on her stomach. flower ornaments pin up long brown tresses of hair and pearls dance along her collarbone in a makeshift necklace. she looks positively ethereal.

you catch yourself taking a breath and blushing as she beams when she catches sight of you, eyes widening as she takes you in. you swore you could see a light blush brush her cheeks as well, or it could’ve been the makeup emphasised to match her dress.

“hi.” you’re shy as you approach her.

her eyes snap up to yours, grinning, “hi yourself stranger. c'mere.” she pulls you into a hug and you can sense the cameras zooming in, no doubt a voiceover would be edited in place later explaining who you were and how you two knew each other.

she pulls away but keeps you within arms length looking you up and down again, “y/n! look at you all dressed up for me. didn’t know you had it in you.” she winks and you blush again. she was making you do a lot of that these last few minutes.

“oh please, this is nothing compared to the main character of the night.” sana frowns, she never found your self-deprecating style of compliments particularly engaging. you quickly correct yourself, “but seriously sana, you look incredible. like you seriously just walked out of a princess movie.”

her eyes twinkle with glee as she does a little twirl for you and the thousands of people who would watch this. “well i hope i’ll find my prince or whatever somewhere here tonight.”

you roll your eyes fondly, “speaking of, how were the first 3 contestants? any of them catch your eye?” you get straight into it, the producers had handed you both loose scripts to follow so you both knew how the conversation should go.

“mm, i think it’s still a little early to say, there are still 21 other people to meet after all. but the second girl was pretty, i think her name was miyeon? her energy seemed really bright and it feels like we could get along really well.”

you recall the girl that had seemed the most relaxed out of everyone in your limo. she had introduced herself and tried to make small talk and had given off a generally sweet vibe. you nod your head in agreement, “she seems sweet. i’m happy for you sana.” you smile knowing your time was short on the red carpet, “i’ll leave you to it then. see you inside soon?”

she smiles and her hand drags down your shoulder to hold yours as you walk away, “mhmm don’t have too much fun without me in there. and don’t scare off all my possible options!”

you laugh as your hands naturally part, bringing them up in a shrug and blowing her a kiss for the extra television effect.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

the mansion is impressive, you can’t help but stare in awe as you enter the ceiling high archway into the courtyard where the other contestants would wait for sana. you nod politely again at the people already there, accepting a flute of champagne and trying to make yourself seem as excited and nervous as someone would be in your position.

the first person to move towards you in greeting is miyeon, “hi! y/n right? love the dress by the way. how’d you find meeting sana?”

you were prepared for this, you needed to make sure they didn’t suspect that you knew sana already, you needed to play the part of a lovestruck contestant. “oh my god she’s beautiful! i saw her walking down the red carpet and was just floored, i had to take a second to calm myself before introducing myself.”

miyeon nods in enthusiasm, “right! i’m so glad this season is so much more inclusive than the previous ones. sana’s not only incredibly gorgeous she’s also an icon for bisexuals everywhere now and i really respect her for coming on this show and being brave enough to be that public figure.”

you nod along, you hadn’t seen it that way until now, “oh absolutely! it’s gonna be a bit messy though huh, with a mixed gender pool contestants could end up falling for each other instead, especially with the amount of time we’re going to spend in this house together.”

“i don’t think that’s going to be a problem for me.” miyeon glances around as the next contestant, a tall man in a blue suit walks in, “i’m pretty set on sana after that first impression. god all this waiting is making me insane though, this show definitely isn’t for the jealous.”

you smile internally but a strange pit sits in your stomach after hearing the word jealous. you ignore it, continuing to prod miyeon who seems elated to talk about sana and really does seem like she would be a good match for her. some others join your conversation and soon enough you’re all getting to know one another outside of what your first impressions of sana are.

“oh i model for a couple cosmetic brands here and there. that’s where you may have seen me.” miyeon is very friendly and welcoming and has made herself comfortable amongst the increasing crowd of people.

“oh that’s incredible! you’ll have to tell me which brands later, i work in marketing research so i’m all about that stuff.” a girl in a blue dress you’ve already forgotten the name of replies.

“oh really? where are you based at? i’m in finance over at yeouido.” this time it's a built man in a navy tux with sunnies over his eyes. he seemed pretentious and too much of a flirt for your liking. he was obviously trying to put it on the girl in the blue dress.

“finance huh. figures.” a cool tone interrupts them, a woman with slicked back short hair in an emerald suit rolled up to the sleeves showing off a deadly tattoo array. she’s rolling her eyes and makes no further comment, turning to the man in glasses next to her who looks much too uncomfortable and out of his limits.

he gulps visibly as she turns to him, placing his hand behind his neck nervously as he laughs, “right hahaha…”

she narrows her eyes at him before being clapped on the back by another man with a friendly smile and eye crinkles. definitely sana’s type in men. “don’t scare the poor bloke off now eunji.” the australian accent surprises you, “ignore her mate, she’s all tough on the outside but she’s a real softy once you get to know her.” he holds out a hand for the guy in the glasses to shake.

he smiles gratefully and takes it, “thankyou…?”

“jacky.”

“thankyou jacky. i’m wonsik.”

the girl in the emerald suit rolls her eyes and scoffs, “whatever jacky, any man who’s too scared to sit next to a woman that looks a little off norm is only looking for someone soft that they can dominate to fuel their tiny man egos.”

you can’t help the scoff you release as her piercing gaze turns to you, raising an eyebrow.

“sorry, sorry, i didn’t mean to eavesdrop. i just thought that comment was funny. and true. i’m y/n by the way.”

eunji regards you before grinning, “eunji. this knucklehead is jacky. we met while i was on exchange in australia and he stalked me back here once he heard i was going on this.”

“stalked is an exaggeration. most of my family already lives here, and now that i’m back, i’d like to have someone to share the rest of my life with. someone who’s not eunji.” he grins. “and jeeeeeeez sana would be a pretty good someone for that.”

you smile in response, “oh absolutely-” but you’re interrupted halfway through as you see the last contestant walk through the door.

dark hair, oozing confidence, lightly tanned skin and a slight smirk on her face, park jihyo, the reason for sana being here, just entered the arena.

beside you jacky whistles, “now that’s competition.”

you can’t help but worry over sana immediately. did she know jihyo would be here? how was their meeting on the red carpet? what was jihyo doing here in the first place?

but then you realise jihyo is the one person that would blow your cover and she was headed straight for you. you quickly scramble up from your seat, trying to be as discreet as possible, muttering a quick “sorry bathroom, nice meeting you all.” and turn away from your group heading towards the bathrooms, intending to find a producer and figure out just what the hell was going on.

however, before you succeed, loud applause is heard behind you followed by a couple wolf whistles and catcalls. shit. jihyo was the last person to walk in. meaning sana would be coming in now and the real show would begin.

you slip back towards the crowd keeping an eye out for jihyo as you find a place towards the back shooting a quick smile at wonsik who stands next to you. the mc for the season is making some introductory comments that you can’t really be bothered to hear and you bring your attention to sana who again, takes your breath away. but you force yourself to concentrate, noticing the slightly abnormal flush on her cheeks and the fiddling fingers she hides in the folds of her dress. you frown, seeing jihyo must have been a surprise for her too then.

“-aaand here’s your bachelorette for the 2024 season!” the mc pans to sana with the camera who waves shyly and offers a smile. you wish you were there to hold her hand and calm her or talk to her but you resign yourself to gripping the fur of your coat tightly.

sana turns to you and the contestants and you try desperately to meet her eye, “hey everyone, it’s nice to finally see you all together! this place is incredible, i almost wish i could move in with you all. you guys having a good time yet?”

“better now that you're here!” a man from the crowd yells out followed by a couple chuckles.

sana giggles, “awwh thankyou jun.” sana was doing better than you at remembering these names already. “so as you guys probably know, tonight is our first night together. and with that, comes the first impression rose.” a cinematic reveal of the pink rose settled on top of the 18 red roses as the contestants shuffle to get a peek, ooh-ing and ahh-ing. “you’ll all get chances to talk to me throughout the night, and i’ll pick someone at the end of it to give this first impression rose who’ll get the first date of the season with me. unfortunately, i’ll also have to say goodbye to 5 of you if you don’t get any roses at all. and i reeeeally wish i didn’t have to because you’ve all seemed so lovely and i can’t wait to get to know you all!”

the mc steps in now, “and with that, let the night begin!” party poppers explode and music starts playing creating an ambience similar to a bar. sana hasn’t seemed to have spotted you yet and moves towards the closest cluster of people to her, smiling and greeting everyone.

very quickly though, someone has already stepped in and asked to take her away for a chat. it's one of the girls in a dark suit with sleek makeup and hair tied up in a high ponytail. you had been instructed not to talk to sana until she came to you so you could only watch on helplessly with the 23 other contestants vying for her attention. you needed to make sure she was okay after seeing jihyo and where her mindset was at. you also needed to avoid jihyo so she doesn’t alert the rest of the contestants to your relationship with sana.

so you stalk over to one of the camera producers who looks only a little frightened at the glare in your eyes.

“what the fuck is park jihyo doing here?”

“um i-i i’m only a camera person! sorry i d-don’t know you’ll have to ask one of the higher ups.”

you raise an eyebrow.

“r-right! i’ll get one of them now…” he grabs his phone and calls someone, glancing nervously around to see if anyone has noticed the two of you. soon enough, a short, stubby man with a beard comes over and whispers, “what?!”

“park jihyo. sana’s ex. i’m sure you would’ve known that when you did the background checks. what is she doing here?”

“sweetheart of course we knew. she’s here for the extra drama. this is television we’re making here. no one’s going to watch it if its not entertaining.” he rolls his eyes and impatiently taps his foot.

“at the expense of your main product’s feelings?” you spit the word product out, hating that this was the way sana was being treated.

“please, sana signed a contract. she knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this show. this is all show business sweetie now if you don’t mind we gotta get back to running it so we can all get paid and go home alright?” he doesn’t leave room for a response as he quickly ushers the poor cameraman away and you’re left seething.

un fucking believable. it’s fine. sana could just not choose jihyo tonight and she could be sent on her merry way. it’ll be fine. so long as sana didn’t actually still have feelings for jihyo… fuck, you just needed to talk to sana to clear things up and make sure she wasn’t being pressured into doing anything she didn’t want to do.

your mind was going a million miles an hour as you headed back towards the other contestants, taking careful note to avoid the group jihyo was currently talking to.

“hey y/n, got a chance to talk to sana yet?” its eunji and you’re grateful for the distraction.

“not yet, i’m thinking to just let the crows have her first, not really into getting on anyone’s bad side tonight.”

“fair enough. you shoulda seen this one guy’s face when jiwon interrupted his time. he was all like-“ she pulls a face that makes her look constipated and you can’t help but laugh, recalling jiwon as the woman in an elegant dark maroon dress who worked as a nurse.

“how about you? steal her away yet?”

“nah not yet but because jacky and i kinda came in a package set he said he’ll bring her to me after he’s had a chat with her.” she looks over her shoulder, “speaking of…”

you see sana and jacky approaching, jacky gesturing something to make her laugh and doing what looked like an impression of a fish out of water.

“-he was really sick! like full vomitting, left her on her own in this completely foreign place to go puke his guts out in the toilets!”

sana was laughing giddily at jacky’s story, unaware that they had just stopped in front of the two of you.

jacky grins, “so remember how i was telling you about that scrawny little girl i met in the tunnel underneath my school trying to build a bomb…”

your eyebrow raises as you look alarmingly at eunji who avoids your gaze with a blush on her cheeks, punching jacky lightly in the shoulder, “how many times have i told you not to tell that story. it was just a mini explosive and it was for a science experiment! you’d know if you didn’t spend all our classes texting that one girl… what was her name again…? p…p something?”

its jacky’s turn to blush as he quickly interjects in protest. sana giggles and looks betwen them, “some competition for me then?”

jacky stumbles, “n-no! not at all don’t worry sana she’s like waaaay back in the past and also waaaay far away in sydney my eyes are only for you i swear!”

sana laughs again, “well that’s good to know. wouldn’t want you to be here if you were still in love with someone else back home.” she turns to eunji, her eyes briefly meeting yours with a twinkle and your heart stutters at the morsel of attention. “eunji right? you’ll have to tell me your side of this story because i don’t think jacky has done you justice.”

eunji slips back into her cool persona offering a tattooed arm out for sana to link, “of course sana.”

sana looks back at you though with a promise, “and i’ll come find you after this y/n so don’t go running anywhere yeah?”

you nod dumbly as you watch your best friend be taken away again, trying to figure out why you wished it was you leading her away and not eunji.

jacky whistles to get your attention, “jealous much? and after she practically promised to see you next which is a lot better than what some of these people are getting. poor wonsik has been beaten every time he’s tried to ask her out.”

you sputter, “j-jealous? what?” you weren’t jealous, you were just concerned for your friend. you wanted the best for her and not many people fit that bill.

“it’s not anything to be embarassed about mate don’t worry. i feel weird as well handing the girl i’m trying to date over to one of my best friends who’s also trying to date her. it’s pretty messed up in here but we’re all in it together right?” he grins and you find yourself feeling slightly guilty because you were not in fact, all in this together, you were there to judge all of these people who you had originally thought to be shallow fame-chasers but maybe there was a little more to them then you thought.

you smile anyway remembering the role you’re playing, “right, thanks jacky, you’re a good guy.”

“awwwwh don’t flatter me, eunji needs to come back before my ego grows too big.”

you laugh and enjoy your conversation with him while walking to join a larger group of people.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

it’s a while before sana finds you again, some others seemed to have jumped in after eunji so by the time she gets to you, its near the end of the night already.

“you been hiding from me or something y/n?”

you stand up with a stretch, taking her hand in yours and leading her away with a teasing smile, “i’d accuse you of that actually. i thought you’d come to find me right after you were done with eunji?”

sana gasps, “oh shit y/n i totally forgot i’m so sorry! eunji was just telling me all this cool stuff that she’s done and places she’s been and then people kept coming to ‘queue’ me and it just completely slipped my mind and i-“

you laugh, “i’m just joking sana i know it’s pretty crazy in here even with all the prep we’ve done for it. as long as you’re having fun then i’m happy.”

she squeezes your hand in response as you reach a small clearing with a hammock-like seat and you both sit down, fingers still interlocked.

“sooooo princess sana, which suitor has caught your attention tonight?” you put on a fake posh accent.

sana laughs and slaps you playfully, “stop that silly, it’s been great though! i think i have an idea who i wanna give the first impression rose to but it's so hard to think of people to get rid of, i don’t want anyone to go before they’ve even had a chance here yet.”

“reeeeally… you can’t think of a single person to get rid of yet…?”

she rolls her eyes, “i’m fine don’t worry y/n. jihyo… surprised me being here but we talked a little on the carpet and she said she made a mistake when she left. she really wants to be with me again y/n.”

your hands tighten against sana’s, “and what about you? how do you feel about her being back?”

“well… it’s definitely not the way i thought i’d see her again. but… i’m not sure… i… there’s so much history between us and… well she was the first person i loved y/n. you know that. it’s hard to turn that away.”

you hum. jihyo wasn’t sana’s first partner but she was the first person sana could say i love you to. and she treated sana well, everything seemed fine, sana thought they were going to get married. the breakup came out of nowhere and left sana devastated for months. you thought jihyo was a nice enough person but it was hard to think of her in a positive light when she left the person you cared about most completely broken and in pieces left for you to pick up. the last thing you wanted was for sana to go through that all over again.

“you disapprove.” sana looks at you knowingly.

you purse your lips, “she hurt you sana. really fucking bad. i can’t bear to see someone who’s caused you so much pain smiling as if none of that happened, as if those months of you starving yourself, hurting yourself didn’t happen because of her.”

sana frowns, unclenching your hands that you didn’t realise were wound up so tightly. “baby… i’m stronger now for it aren’t i? you helped me become myself again and i became better for it. and you’ll be here with me every step of the way to make sure it doesn’t happen again. so you can put your little micromanaging overprotective guard dog personality to use.” she teases trying to lighten the mood, “now c’mon, let's move on from this, surely you have people you like and dislike already. lemme hear them.”

you sigh bringing your head to rest on her shoulder, “well you seemed to get along with eunji and jacky. i like the both of them, they’re fun. miyeon is also a sweetheart and you were right when you said you think the two of you could get along. she reminds me of you in a lotta ways, it's kinda scary.”

sana giggles next to you.

“mm some of the guys i didn’t like. there’s this one guy heechul i think, he is like 100% a simp for japanese women. and like, in a creepy body pillow way. this poor girl momo, who also seems really sweet by the way, maybe just a little shy, was being harassed the entire night by him anytime you weren’t looking his way. i also overheard him showing off to some of the guys about how he got a minor’s phone number by offering to teach her korean. one of the guys obviously put him down for it, which is like the bare minimum i guess, that was sunwoo, but some others egged him on talking about some incel reddit shit and how they’re glad all the women here are thin and pale. eugh, even talking about this makes me cringe. if it were up to me, i’d say there’s actually too many roses on that platter tonight.”

you can feel sana’s laughs in her throat, hearty and high. “well yeah but you also like, hate most men so it wouldn’t be too challenging.”

you look at her with a pout, “not all men! jacky was nice! and i’m sure there’ll be other decent guys here too that i can approve of. and if not, well… it’s their fault for being so gross and men-like.”

you love the way her laugh twinkles with the night sky. you can’t get over just how beautiful she looks tonight. and you catch yourself wondering just when you started describing sana with the word beautiful in your head. eugh. this was all jacky’s fault, you’d gone too deep into your role as a contestant for sana’s attention. you just needed this night to end and the big reveal that you were actually sana’s best friend sent to spy on the contestants to see how they acted in their natural habitats. then you could go back to being just that, sana’s best friend.

you can see in the corner of your eye producers signalling the two of you to head back to the others. you were almost inclined to ignore them just to spend a few more minutes with sana but she had already seen them and was gathering her dress ready to stand up.

she reaches a hand out to you, “c’mon, let’s head back. got announcements to make and people to cut.”

you smile, taking her hand gratefully and lifting yourself up. you hope the rest of the season goes a little smoother than tonight had gone, but the value of entertainment may impede on that.

[tboyhi]

Trans enby boy who wants a hysterectomy one day; I saw you had one and I wanted to know if you had any advice about the recovery? It’s something I’ve been very nervous about, since I’ve heard it’s pretty grueling. (I’m actually getting top surgery in November so I’m already worrying about that, lol)

If this is odd or weird to ask i totally get it, you don’t have to answer if it feels too personal!

I love answering questions, especially if it helps someone else out! I'll put stars next to things that were super important to me.

My hysterectomy was the easiest thing in the world tbh. I have endometriosis and adenomyosis so after surgery was the first time I've been pain free.

***Oddly, I was hornier after surgery than first starting T. It's pretty common. I suggest buying a vibrator and refraining from any kind of pillow humping. Practice relaxing your abs because tensing them during an orgasm can hurt.

Definitely opt for a laparoscopic or vaginal hysterectomy if you can rather than the old way of making a giant incision like a c-section.

***Ask your anesthesiologist for a skin patch to prevent vomiting if you're prone to it or hate nausea like I do. They keep you from vomiting for 72 hours and helped me take my perscription pain meds for the first few days. Please make sure they give you prescription meds and not just ibuprofen. If given codeine, make sure they've given you a full adult dose and not a half dose (my partner had this happen with wisdom teeth removal and I almost threw hands at his dentist, a lot of surgeons do this to prevent addiction but it's stupid af).

***Oh a big thing to remember, TAKE STOOL SOFTENERS. I cannot stress this one enough. Take the max dose starting at least 24 hours before surgery. You won't be able to poop for a few days, so the stool softeners make sure you don't get constipated and feel a huge amount of pain. This goes for any kind of surgery.

Make sure to have your vitamins checked beforehand. My surgeon did that for me, especially since I struggle with b12 and vitamin d deficiency. And of course take a multivitamin while you're recovering anyways.

***Buy and wear a pregnancy belt after surgery, especially when walking around. I swelled up and looked like I was 6 months pregnant. I had one laying around from having kids and it helped support my stomach and prevented me from pulling stitches accidentally. I only use it for 2 or 3 weeks but it was absolutely a life saver.

If you have squishmallows, use them for everything (not literally). Carry a lil one around in case you sneeze or cough. Press it against your tummy to avoid your abs tensing up. (The pregnancy belt also helps with this but extra support is even better).

Tbh, I'm more worried about top surgery. 😭 I'm terrified of drains. I have a consult but I'm debating if I even want surgery. I know I'll go but still lol

[threenorth]

At the end of my work day I'm completly exhausted, to much brain focus not enough calories, and shit food is expensive....

Now I know we said future focused but, there's so much glimmer of you, it's really difficult to know exactly but none the less...

Ryan, Pink,

You make me feel like there is something worth living for a reason I slave at my desk everyday trying to get forward in a world that wasn't made for me and the reason why I still breathe but y'know mainly coming home to you would be something worth the suffering at my job (just over broke), my brain remembered but I think I said it but I gave you an anchor I told you, because you calmed my sea, not to weight me down.

Logan,pale pink.

I'm glad you feel better, I don't know what you went through but I'm always here, unless I'm battling myself... And we're just take turns... And if we're both up shit Creek at least we have each other, and...probably the same psychologist. Jokes a side, I hope you know that no matter what you say, nothing is going to make you sound,less or look less beautiful that you think you might be.

L, pale pink.

I think for me, was the day I was pushed down the hill at primary (elementary), that thing is vicious and I think it's awful to have it in a school ground even for kids under our 6th 'year 6' (10-11 yrs) to your '5th grade' our kindergarten is pre primary, and Secondary School is also called college as I went to Northcote college, but there are people and places like Westlake boys High-school. And then with tertiary our college is university...but either that or the good old toilet bowl, I believe it I recall you said.. You need to name your trumas, haven't had that talk yet but I think you said yours was and I'll take it, abe.

Aspen, green.

Yeah I too miss that but y'know if you want depending on your schedule on my Saturday the whole day we can hang I got 100gb of data monthly now, you can come to the supermarket... Or the gym... Or whatever.

Just as long as you keep me, posted or informed with if A) your tired. B) your mental health getting a little worse. C) what you need to do around the house as chores as we can multi task... Hopefully. IE you dust the kitchen or some shit, and I run on the treadmill.... Speaking of. Treadmill the respotiry instuite called today to say the specialist I was planning to see has quit, and my appointment was rescheduled for. December 11th, so I'm looking on our medical platform database to see what other people might be able to investigate and or to what equipment they have or possibly experience or if they can use my insurance provider...adhd meds wore out so... Hahaha.

Rowan, green.

Distance makes the heart glow? I don't know to me, distance makes it difficult but I don't know if you or I can afford it yet, maybe soon... Ish... We're talk about this in due course...but distance sucks, but at least now there's long distance ergh 'toys' they seem intersting...

Good old aunty Google (nz expression) says 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'(source)

It's a little depressing but we can try watch movies or TV shows via discord or something, we're find something to do until... Hopefully not too long... But there's a few balls. I'm trying to understand currently... Long tale. Called having mental health issues and trying to do work and a degree... Yeahhh f--king kill me. 😂

Keith, red.

My heart always wonders its way back to you.

Keith, purple.

Anytime.... Unless... Oh romance, I got a meeting in the office and I don't pick up but I might see it try hussle my way out, I'm often listening to music on my phone via headphones anyway but best time to get me is 12-1 and if I'm working at home but not wensday afternoon but if I'm at home I can have you on mute throughout some meetings...

Oh and maybe if I got my cynical psychologist... Next Tuesday 5th the whole day is awful hahahaha...Dentist, hygieninst, and othorodonist... 9-12. Then 3-4pm is my shrink.

Yknow what how about your Friday depending when you wake up and if you have the whole day off I'll get up early on my Saturday... But we need to take some turns about who's one either getting up early or staying up late...

Cooper, tan.

You don't need a sign when you know my thoughts or where to find my latest thinking about you.

Regarding a text message? I don't know if I'll ever find your number in my many files I have especially one I tried hiding from myself after the last time I used it, my us cell phone VoIP redirect I posted a couple days ago... Sooo maybe just use Skype? Instagram? Facebook?

😂 You know how to find me, contact me.

Cooper, purple.

You didn't really leave me, per say.

But I would of hoped you would of tried to reach out - non anonymous, I left my Skype open for a few months and I also never blocked you, just - slightly peacefully 'forcefully' removed you out from my life,but you still had message access, I think I didn't change my Kik till maybe 2015? As my phone reset? I can't recall but I remember we had two or. Maybe one Skype call, one when I got angry at you about the prayer flags, and the other I think when something bad happened and you asked me come online...I'm so sorry that's a bit of a blur for me the years since 2014.... Some of it rock soild, others quite vague..

[at0micc0la]

it's okay, it's okayy!! oh noo, first class and already kinda boring that sounds like a nightmare.

I've been well, healing properly! i don't wish anyone wisdom teeth removal, thankfully i don't struggle with my teeth but everyone i heard talking about it said it was awfull, with you also confirmed(⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)

thank you so much, it's quite my habit to either talk a lot or listen to others, it all depends on the person i talk to(⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) that's alright, you can answer complete gibberish and i would still find a way to understand^^ i love being in your inbox, you're honestly so sweet and made me feel welcome from the start♡

aww celebrating with friends sounds amazing!! but oh my gosh when baby is crying it's the worst, like you can't really do much about it especially when even the mother ain't able to calm them so you're just sitting there in pain🧍‍♀️ i completely understand and agree that babies are hard to understand

-🐈

Yeah, like since I have to wake up at 6 and my classes start at 9 (i live far away :c) and I arrive hungry and sleepy, today I had Economy, and it sucks that I understand nothing about economy!!!!!

Woooah, it's goof to hear you are healing correctly!! Take your time to properly heal, don't push yourself to get better from day to night, cause it's the worst idea. Idk how they do wisdom tooth removal where you are from, but here they covered me with a paper blanket with a hole so the dentist could see just my mouth and I didn't see what he was doing (it's a really bizarre experience)

You know that barbie song, from the princess and the pauper, cause "I'm just like you, you're just like me🎶" I love weird conversation, like the other day we were talking about animated horse rating (I was being the one who kept track of the positions). I'm so happy you feel welcome here (*^▽^*) I literally shriek like a fangirl when I read that

Yeah yeah, babies are weird and I don't understand them, but idk, it's been a long time since there have been a baby in my family so they are so foreign to my life so I can't handle them ...(*￣０￣)ノ