#it just feels hopeless

[freakoutgirl]

Ngl money issues are truly making me want to kill myself

[sailoreuterpe]

life sucks and then you die

seems just about right

every step forward, another step back

and always fight or flight

as soon as one crisis ends

another finds you free

to worry and weep and sigh

there's always stress to be

hope for the best, expect the worst

our motto and our creed

I'm just so fucking tired of "worst"

I just want to be freed

from constant sorrow and pain

when will my ship come in?

I'm just so fucking tired

life sucks, you die--the end

[bioethicists]

a few ppl have commented variations of "this was me :( i regret it but i just hadn't done the research + was relying on secondhand evidence" + while i don't want to put them in a spotlight or attract hate, that is... exactly the problem. it goes so much deeper than "i was duped by depp's marketing/legal team in this single scenario" because "this particular woman is crazy + making up abuse for attention because she's actually a [insert diagnosis here] who torments men for her own sick pleasure" should 100% of the time ring alarm bells for you! there's something deeply wrong with your feminist politic if you'll abandon it once the perpetrator starts trending on twitter!

content like "[description of her assault] sounds like a good time in bed to me" or "this has emboldened me to say that [people sharing her diagnosis] need to unfollow me" (two real things that both went viral!!!) should never be acceptable to you, regardless of who the target is. women who you do not respect or who you think are Bad People are still not acceptable targets for saneism or misogyny. even women who have done actual, provable harmful things are still not acceptable targets for saneism or misogyny.

perpetrators are almost universally more powerful + beloved than the ppl they have harmed; they exploit this power to their advantage. perpetrators often retain the charisma + poise + calm which sexual assault strips from you like wet fucking paper. "calm beloved man dealing with his crazy clingy jilted ex who is actually the abusive one, probably, i mean look at her!" is a tale as old as time, not a fluke, so if you don't develop an actually principled stance on sexual assault which you apply regardless of the likability or press coverage of the harmed person, you are not an ally to survivors.

every time a new SA allegation of a favored celeb arises, i'm reminded of the absolutely soul-crushing experience of the depp/heard trial in which i learned that dozens of ppl i loved + respected + trusted were also willing to engage in the basest form of misogyny if the woman Seemed Crazy Enough. there was a horrifying 2ish weeks on this website + much longer irl where i genuinely felt unsafe voicing my discomfort as i relived something eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of my own assaults playing out on screen, commented on by true crime youtubers like it was a red sox game.

it happens time + time again with every new allegation + it's truly the most agonizing + exhausting part of being a survivor. i am begging you all to consider that survivors are watching you engage with this stuff like theater + it erodes our trust in all of you + compounds our grief.

[nancywheeeler]

hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.

[lazylittledragon]

can anybody who's made it beyond 22 please tell me i'm going to be ok

[megafart1]

Fiddauthor doodles

*leaves this politely on the floor and scurries away*

yeah. enjoy ^_^

[canisalbus]

the anon saying they wish vaschete were plushies inspired me

.

[claitea]

i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them

[starrystevie]

it doesn't happen as a revelation. there's no jolting pain in his chest that sends steve reeling, no internal crisis that has him shaking on the bathroom floor, no shocking sense of guilt or desperation or fire licking in his veins. nothing that makes the world stop spinning and making him trip over his feet.

it's a normal moment when he realizes he's in love with eddie.

they're sitting in steve's car, ac blasting and music on low for once, waiting for a handful of the kids to get done with their final exams. they don't pick them up as much anymore and steve pointedly ignores how much he misses the times of carting them all around before mike started a ripple effect and got his license. but they're taking the kids to the lake after school to try and enjoy the last bits of non-suffocating sunshine before summer really hits, just like old times.

it isn't a revelation in the sense that it's some earth shattering event, but more like a moment of clarity. eddie's hair blows back for a second and he's blabbering about something from the dnd game he played the night before with his shop buddies with a wide grin and animated hands and the sun glints off the puckered pink scar on the side of his face in the most perfect way and he's beautiful and-

oh.

oh.

steve's vision seems clearer than it has in a while. his lungs feel a bit more shaky but not in a bad way, his heart stumbles against his ribcage like it's tripped over itself and the butterflies in his chest are the only things catching it. he laughs to himself because of course this has to happen when he wasn't expecting it, when he doesn't have a plan, but then eddie's looking at him and he knows he doesn't need one. not yet, anyway.

"you good, man?" eddie asks, eyebrows crinkled together and smirk on his face. he's painted golden in the afternoon sun, shining as bright as the north star. steve's always liked gold.

it's taken steve years to get here. the two of them have grown up together in the way that teenagers do while they figure out the roads laid out before them. they've learned each other's ins and outs through long nights and early mornings and everything in between. he knows his breathing, the way his footsteps sound, the smell of his aftershave, the feeling of his hands on his shoulders. it all comes together in this perfect package wrapped up in a perfect bow and for once, steve lets himself hope like he's a kid on christmas morning.

"yeah," he shakes his head to clear out the eddie-shaped stars in his vision, offers up a smirk of his own. it's taken years to get here so he still has time to do this right. "perfect."

[runningwithscizzorz]

I feel a deep sense of anger and grief for Palestine. I’m angry at God, at the world powers donating to those who are killing civilians, angry at people looking away and encouraging you to worry about yourself when people can’t even walk down their streets without being attacked. I’m angry that my friend donated, only for it to be stolen and taken by the soldiers abusing Palestine. I’m angry that I can’t do much of anything but tell you to at least CARE about the people being bombed and slaughtered. Please, if you can’t do anything please just CARE about these people and listen to their stories. Hold them in your hearts at the very least. Don’t pretend they don’t exist or just brush it off as “its been going on for centuries, there’s no point in stopping it.” I want to do more, I want to make people care and love those who need it, rather than continue spreading anger and hate.

These are real people I’ve drawn. Keep the people of Palestine in your heart at the very least please.

[raynavan]

O h…

He always did seem to encourage us to keep going in PLA…

[whatudottu]

Hello I put way more effort than I needed to into this, but have it anyway :P

Boniface meets Bonifire, what will they do :P

A version of this page without text because technically this was the first page I drew and put all my effort into that one first lmao-

[louroth]

Forget the IF, just wanted to check in and see if YOU were okay dear author? I hope everything is well. I know you have a process lol, but I miss seeing you on my TL from time to time.

oh, kjsdhfjskdf . how sweet<3 thank you for this! I am doing well, crafting ouro alongside some personal shifts and growth and setbacks and victories. it has been a godsend to take all this pressure off for this period and do things my way. though, I'll say: while it has taken and will probably take another while, this silence will be broken at some point. I'll avoid saying soon only because I'm staunchly sticking to my pace&process. however !! I finished the draft for the first book yesterday. !! I am currently doing some hefty edits, collecting art and testing coding (&learning something new a hundred times over, over, again, whether it be storycrafting, interactivity, ui design, social media, art, code ... the list goes on) and so for the most part, I'm having a good time, as long as we count the entire spectrum of the human condition as a mostly good time. pfft.

I miss hanging out here too! I genuinely can't wait to get back to online shenanigans once I feel ready for it; if you'll have me, of course. I can imagine that this type of secret development is frustrating and everyone has their limit. It means a lot that you sent this my way. Hope you're doing well too. <3

[giddlygoat]

as much as i want to see fiddleford recover and enter his much-deserved era of good mental and physical health, i also want to see the effects of his head trauma follow him forever. it’s important to me that while he heal and find a level of normalcy and peace, he never return to his old self.

kind of a side bar, but it’s relevant so: i also think there’s something to be said about old man mcgucket’s confidence. boldness? idk how to describe it. i wouldn’t say his paranoid tendencies have vanished, but for the most part he’s. breezier. part of it is the brain damage, and maybe part of it is genuine self-evolution in the right direction. but i think the obsessive mind-wiping just… broke that part of his brain. it’s like he’s no longer affected by fear in the same way. and i hope we see strong traces of that damage until the day he dies.

it’s important to me that fiddleford heal and emerge into self-awareness once more. it’s important to me that ford still look at him as very much the same person, despite all of the damage. but he’s also changed severely and irreversibly. i think of old man mcgucket as a much rawer version of fiddleford in that he holds less reservations and has no filter. he’s healing but he’s also broken, and those scars will forever be visible. and that’s important to me because it also changes ford and fiddleford’s dynamic a lot.

ok one last sidebar, then i’m done. when i say it changes their dynamic i mean it in the way that because fiddleford now wears his heart on his sleeve and ford himself is a bit wiser about relationships, there is less self-sabotaging going on between them. romance or friendship wise. and if nothing else, they both feel they’re getting too old for biting their tongues, so i imagine the discussions of certain difficult topics comes a bit easier now.

like, given that they’ve both made many catastrophically terrible decisions over their lives, they have a better perspective on life in general and have had time to reorient their previously fucked priorities. ford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated stan, dealing with the devil, and bringing about the end times. fiddleford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated emma-may and tate, starting a cult that ruined lives [especially his own], and not to mention the multiple death robot incidents. even though they both had good intentions or else thought their actions were justified at the time [mostly], it all collapsed on their heads because these actions were ridiculously stupid.

i think all of this is part of why the rekindling of their friendship happened so easily. fiddleford is eager to forgive ford and embrace him because he’s learned first-hand what grief and paranoia can drive a person to do, and so he feels the best thing he can do is accept his old friend back into his life, no questions asked. maybe ford will forever think he doesn’t deserve it, but he learns to accept mcgucket’s kindness and tries to learn from it. they’re both healing even if it’ll never be Backupsmore again. it’s still them, despite it all.

[ifisawyoueverydayforeverwill]

Y'ALL NEED TO SEE THIS PANEL

[flurry-of-beaus-pop-pop]

If Rio actually is on the road to reclaim Billy, to take him back after her cheated death, then it makes this scene hit on an entirely different level:

Rio, if given the chance, would have collected Billy in that moment... she (probably) did it with Sharon, she'll do it with Rio, and she'll do it with Lilia too... she has no qualms about doing her job.

But then Agatha said "Don't", had tears in her eyes, and pleased. And so Rio didn't. Because she didn't listen once before, and the cost her the one person she actually cared about, cost her the woman she loved, and left a scar.

This is why she also stops Agatha when Agatha tries to kiss her and reminds her that Billy isn't hers... because not only did he cheat death once before, but he may have just very well cheated it again, and so Rio was reminding Agatha that while she held off this time, eventually, she was going to have to take him.

This also gives me some hope for the scene that we know is coming... whether or trial or not... there is some aspect of Rio that does not want to do her job, not if it means hurting Agatha, and I think that small element of hesitation, may be what saves them in the end. Because I do think that ultimately, Rio is going to do her job, and ultimately, they will both come to an understanding about this.