#it just Hurts that I'm like the only person who doesn't 'belong' here like everyone I interact with the most has their own group

[neuroticboyfriend]

As an adult still living with their abusive parent, I often find that affirmations meant to empower me are unhelpful at best. They often feel like they're overstating the amount of agency I have as an adult; I've spent my entire life being abused. It's all I know and I have a lifetime of conditioning and nervous system damage to show for it.

All that doesn't just go away now that I'm older than 18, and neither do the material circumstances that keep me here. Even though I have more legal rights and have grown since I was younger, I am still not in control by the very nature of being the victim in an abusive relationship. So, for those who relate, here are some affirmations that might hit different:

My abuser does not have my best interests in mind, even if they think they do.

I am my own person; my mind and body belong to me.

My feelings are justified, and I deserve to feel and express them.

I am doing what I need to survive, and that is all I need to do.

I am doing my best given the knowledge, resources, and support I have.

I am the only person who can decide what is best for me.

My situation is unfair and wrong. I deserve to be happy and safe.

I do not have to engage in toxic positivity; that will only hurt me.

As long as I am alive, there is something good in this life for me - no matter how small.

I have inherent rights just because I exist.

I shouldn't have to deal with this on my own; I deserve support and protection.

Everything I need is something I deserve. Everything I deserve is something I need.

If any of these don't resonate, feel free to discard them. Everyone finds comfort and empowerment differently.

[untitled-byler-blog]

Spiraling again folx 🥲

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 1

Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem) A/N: I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm not even much of a DC fan, but Jason Todd has quickly become my latest hyper fixation character (Harley Quinn too, do I just have a thing for Joker victims???) so ... thank you for giving me a place to put this energy I guess! 😂 I'm not super confident on the characterizations, but I'm going with it because I like it. If it's wildly ooc ... that tracks, given that the only DC comic I've read is Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Read it, or don't, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head. The art doesn't belong to me, but the writing does. Please do not post elsewhere!

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, starting out fluffy, will probably get NSFW later so minors DNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

word count: 1.7k

Chapter Selection

In a city known for its masked fighters, you learn pretty quickly that everyone and everything is a potential threat. Every approaching stranger on the street, every loud sound behind you, every dark alleyway. Being bigger than me certainly isn't a prerequisite to being a danger, but it does have a way of setting off my mental alarms. I've found that big men are used to getting their way, and they get all sorts of bent out of shape if you deny them their wishes. Especially when they think they're doing you a favor.

It died down a bit after high school; I learned to exist in public with ‘fuck off’ stamped across my face. Headphones on, reading a book, intentionally seated at the table furthest from the other cafe patrons. All the typical signs of someone who wants to be left alone; nothing about me said ‘please come talk to me'. So I was understandably on edge when I noticed someone standing by the chair across from me. I look up just a bit, gesturing to the chair with a nod. Silent consent to take it back to his table and leave me to my book.

No such luck. The man simply smiled and mimed taking headphones off. Putting a bored look on my face, I moved one off my ear. “... Hm?”

“Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, but my brother thinks you're really beautiful and is refusing to come tell you himself.” 

I could feel my expression turning to stone. “... What is this, middle school?”

His cheerful grin faltered ever so slightly; “hey, I know it's a bit silly, but he's awkward around cute girls, so what's a brother to do, ya know?”

I stared him down; “... You're not fooling anyone. Move on.”

“... Sorry, ‘fooling anyone’?”

“It’s not funny, it’s not even hurtful the 20th time, it's just annoying. Go. Away.” It was a lie; it was always painful to be on the receiving end of these pranks. But that was what these guys wanted, so I wasn't going to tell him that. My headphones back in place, the guy slunk away.

Ten minutes later, another person was standing by the chair. I pretended not to see him, continuing to read my book, until he plopped down in the seat. I looked up slowly and he smiled, another oddly warm smile, leaning forward on his elbows.

An incredibly put-out sigh later, I slid the headphones off one ear again. “What?”

“Hi, I'm Tim! I'm not sure what exactly my brother said to you, but I wanted to let you know - we're not trying to prank you or something. Our brother is just way too awkward with girls. It's painful to watch, really, so we figured we'd give him a hand.” He spoke much too fast for me to get a word in. I blinked a bit, raising an eyebrow.

“... You frat boys are really committing to the bit these days, huh?”

“Huh? No, really, I promise!”

My headphones were nearly back into place when a child showed up. His impatient expression matched how I felt about the whole situation. “As usual, Drake, your plans are far too convoluted to be effective. Watch and learn.”

He turned to me, nothing about his demeanor changing; “hello. Todd said we shouldn't bother you because you ‘clearly want to be alone’, but I am convinced the only way to stop their nonsense is if he comes over. May he have a moment of your time?”

Frowning a little, I stared at the kid. He stared right back, neither of us blinking for a solid minute as we sussed each other out. His expression barely changed, but the boredom in his eyes turned into determination. “... Well, you're definitely not a frat boy. So I'll make you a deal; you may report back that he has permission to come say hi. If he doesn't choose to, that's the end of this little charade. And if either of them” I gestured to the one sitting at my table; “comes back over here, I start stabbing. Got it?”

The boy nodded once, and I thought I saw a ghost of a smirk. “You have my word.” He dragged the other man out of the chair by his shirt, pulling him stumbling toward their table. That was when I saw him. The only person at their table who hadn't come over yet. Even hunched over the table he was enormous, probably close to six feet tall; exactly the kind of man I typically avoided. The kid spoke sharply, pointing in my direction, and his head shot up to look in my direction. Even from across the spacious patio, I could see his face turning red. The obnoxious, cocky smirk I was expecting to see was entirely missing; instead he seemed almost confused.

Headphones back on but turned off so I could hear if he approached, I returned to my book. But I only got through a few pages before the first one shouted; “and offer to get her another coffee or something!”

I looked over to see the tall one frozen halfway between our tables, a look on his face like he was considering jumping over the patio fence to get away. His demeanor reminded me of a lost puppy, and I couldn't help the chuckle that rose up out of my throat. I bookmarked my page, set the book aside, and slid my headphones down around my neck. I really thought he was about to bolt until I lifted one hand, curling my fingers to gesture for him to continue toward me.

He stopped short by a good several feet, eyeing the distance between himself and the chair, and took one extra step back. It seemed as if he was hyper aware of just how much he loomed over me; the way he stood was like he was trying to will himself to be smaller, and he kept his hands at his sides. “Um … hi. … Sorry, this is … this is really weird …”

I nodded, watching him. “It is a bit. … Todd, was it?”

“Jay… Jason.”

“Not Todd?”

“Jason Todd. Damian calls me Todd, he thinks using people's last names keeps them at an arm's length…” Jason Todd. The name felt familiar, but I couldn't place why. He continued to ramble about how important tone was in determining whether this Damian kid was referring to you with affection or disdain, and I watched him. He was admittedly very cute; he had a sort of a bad boy aesthetic -leather jacket, dark clothes, a white streak in his hair, some unusual scars on his face and arms-, which juxtaposed interestingly with the gentleness in his voice, bright eyes, and awkward mannerisms. That was actually the thing that made the most sense about this situation; bikers are often secret teddy bears.

“... Jason?”

He looked up at me, one hand sheepishly making its way into his hair. “Yeah, sorry, you want me to go. I'll get them to stop harassing you, so sorry-”

“Actually, I was going to say you don't have to stand the whole time.” I gestured to the chair across from me.

He hesitated, watching me. “... Y- you don't want me to go?”

I smiled softly and shook my head. “Sit?”

He quickly obeyed, a hesitant smile on his face, which was almost immediately hidden by his hand when his brothers whooped from their table. “... God, I'm so sorry … th- they mean well, really, they're not trying to be weird …”

I laughed softly, “it's fine, that's what siblings do, right?”

“... I guess so … I've been sort of … away for a while, but I guess this is pretty standard sibling behavior. … Right?”

“I mean, a little more insistent than mine, but not too far outside the realm of what I’d consider normal.” I shrugged, finishing my chai latte.

He smiled slightly, considering that. “... Hm … um … c- can I get you another?” He gestured to my cup.

“... Sure, I've got time.”

The pleased grin on his face as he looked away to flag down a server surprised me. Then again, everything about him was surprising. Still, no one had ever looked at me quite like that before… 

The server sauntered over, clearly curious about my new companion. Jason smiled brightly; “Hi, can we get another for the lady? And I'll have a medium black coffee, sweet, please.”

Huh. He called me a ‘lady’. Not a girl, or a chick, a lady. That was … also surprising. We chatted for a little while, sipping our coffees, and tried to ignore his staring brothers. He was incredibly awkward, in a sweet, endearing way. I got the impression that he wasn't fully comfortable, but chalked it up to how weirdly this all started. After a while, the first one returned, a small grimace on his face.

I raised an eyebrow; “I'm pretty sure I told the little one that the next one of you to come over was getting stabbed.”

“I know, I know! I'm so sorry, but Jay, we gotta go. Bruce texted…”

That was when it clicked; why I knew the name Jason Todd. He was a Wayne … his death had dominated the news cycle for a week. His miraculous, frankly poorly explained, return was the story for at least two.

He looked, torn, between me and his brother. “Oh … um …”

The man I finally recognized as Dick Grayson leaned forward and fake-whispered, “the words you're looking for are ‘can I have your phone number'?”

Jason swatted him away, blushing bright red; “Seriously, Dick? … well, can I-”

His ears were turning red as I held my hand out for his phone. I added my contact info and, feeling unusually bold, I added ☕💖 after my name while Jason dropped a couple of bills on the table; I smiled a bit, realizing he was leaving enough to cover my first drink for me too. I passed his phone back, enjoying the look of wonder on his face when he checked the screen. The way he whispered my name, like a prayer meant only for god's ears, had my stomach doing backflips.

“thanks … I'll call you?”

“Sounds good. I'm a night owl, so not too early, yeah?”

He nodded eagerly. “Not too early, promise.”

Next ->

[captainjonnitkessler]

While unsurprising, the rhetoric being spewed by Louisiana's lawmakers is fucking terrifying to me.

I feel so lucky that I was raised by a bunch of atheist because honestly I managed to go the majority of my childhood happy, without being shamed or acquiring a persecution complex...but now looking out at the current climate we live in...damn, they really hate us, don't they? I mean "godless" is one of the main insults getting thrown around on most campaign trails, which isn't new it just hurts.

I feel like I am a bad person because I only just found out about what's going on in Louisiana.

Sorry, just screaming into the void a bit. I hope you have a good day

For anyone who's not aware, Louisiana just passed a law requiring every single public classroom in the state, from kindergarten to college, to display the Ten Commandments.

Unfortunately, this is just the latest in the rapidly-escalating war between Christofascists and secularism. Multiple states have proposed this law, Louisiana is just the first to actually pass it. Oklahoma's Department of Education is claiming that they're going to force teachers to start teaching from the Bible. Seven states have passed laws requiring schools to display "In God We Trust" signs.

Here's the thing I think a lot of people on this site are too young to remember or weren't involved enough in religious politics to notice, and the reason the "edgy atheist who just hates religion" stereotype has gained so much traction on here: The New Atheist movement was very much a response to constant barrages of shit like this. Getting America to be even as secular as it is has been a constant struggle. Conservatives have been openly blaming atheists for school shootings, mass murders, and serial killers for decades. People who stand up and try to get religion taken out of schools and government immediately become targets for massive hate and harassment campaigns. People - conservatives and liberals alike - react with hatred and anger whenever someone stands up to get religion out of places where it doesn't belong. I think the past fifteen years or so have gotten a lot of people believing that separation of church and state is an obviously "safe" position that almost everyone is in favor of, but it very much is not and never has been.

I believe that conservatives are going to try to use the current Supreme Court to essentially abolish the separation of church and state, largely because many of them are openly stating their intent to do so. Louisiana is already being sued about this - if it makes its way to the Supreme Court, I think there's a decent chance of the current court ruling in favor of Louisiana, which is going to unleash the floodgates of Christian propaganda in public schools. It is frankly a dire situation, so I'm sorry if you were here looking for reassurance lol.

As always, the best action I can recommend is to get involved. You're definitely not a bad person for not knowing about this! But if you want to stay on top of religious news, I recommend the Friendly Atheist blog. The Freedom From Religion Foundation fights to get laws like this taken down. You can check your local city for secular humanist meetups. You don't want to burn out or enter a doom spiral by only ever dwelling on bad news, but I find that having people to talk to or action you can take is a good way to ward off despair.

And please, please, vote. Vote in federal and state elections, vote in your local city council elections, vote in your school board elections. A LOT of this is happening at local levels, and being involved in your local politics is possibly the most effective thing you can do!

[emilsendo]

Can you please make a muzan oneshot, smut with aftercare and muzan being alittle protective of m! Reader...

Thank you! <3

With pleasure I'll make this request! Take care💪🏼✨️👀

Also, I apologize for any errors in the text. I hope you will enjoy it.

_______________________________________

It was a day like any other, everyone looked the same. You, as a rank 0 higher moon demon, AND as the husband of the demon king, had a wide reputation among demons and humans alike. However, Muzan Kibutsuji didn't treat your strength like the others, he loved you too much to care if you were powerful enough. For him, you were and are his property, which he must protect against possible threats. Mainly rivals created by your handsome appearance. But who would dare to endanger the MUZAN himself? Probably just a real suicide.

Y/N was currently walking through the forest after mercilessly killing a man from the village he was passing by. As an Upper Moon demon, he must eat quite regularly in order for his strength to remain the same or even greater. Even if he sometimes has some signs of humanity in his heart, he still doesn't care much about this feeling. He had long since rid himself of the feeling of guilt in his soul, all in order to be able to kill more effectively and faster. He is about 600 years old, has adapted to living in the body of a creature and killing those who resist his actions. Y/N remembers almost nothing from his past, except for the feeling of weakness... his heart only remembers how he felt then, not what he was like and what his life was like, did he have a family? Did he have a wife and children? Was he someone important? Nothing. Emptiness.

While listening to the sounds of nature, he heard another sound, but of feet pattering behind him and then next to him. It was as if this person was fast enough to somehow teleport. Y/N looked at them, his c/e eyes meeting rainbow ones. It was none other than Doma, who no one likes because... he's the least bit annoying.

— Hello, Lord Y/N~! How is our handsome boy? — he asked with a practiced and false tone of joy, something that was probably the reason why no one liked him. Y/N remained unfazed by his presence, but he felt a certain irritation. Doma moved in on him far too many times, as if he wanted more than a punch to the jaw.

— How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? Don't you have anything else to do? — he replied with a great show of dislike towards the demon next to him, looking at him out of the corner of his eye with his deadly gaze, which usually made every demon and human bend more than one knee. But not Doma, this type has too much of a disregard for other people's needs.

— Aww~ Ice cold as always, huh? I'm just trying to be nice to Muzan's lover~.... — he said. And his voice and facial expression were like a child who didn't get what he wanted.

—You'll be nice when you get out of here.— Y/N finally looking at the shorter man with his full perspective. However, instead of an answer, he received a kiss, which shocked him. He automatically pushed him away and punched him in the jaw hard enough to tear off half his face, staining his hands with blood. Doma looked at him with a strange look, maybe if his face was intact it would look better... The man smiled slyly as if he was proud of what he had done, lightly touching his newly regenerated jaw.

Muzan won't be happy with the fact that his "property" has been touched and Y/N knows it, which is why he felt a slight twinge in his stomach from the stress. Because he'll get hurt too.

—Who the fuck are you? — a deep and loud voice asked, while the sounds of limbs and bones being torn to shreds echoed throughout the room. The muzzled hand was tearing apart Doma's body, and Doma was not reacting much to any of these harms. The brunette's blood-red eyes scanned the demon in front of him, who was kneeling.

—How dare you disregard my order? How dare you TOUCH something that belongs to me? — he grabbed the blonde by the forehead, his claw drilling a hole in the skull. He then caused his cells to slowly melt Doma's body.

Upper Rank 2 began bleeding from the inside, choking on a red substance. Pulsating, almost purple veins appeared on his skin.

—I should kill you....But you are a useful demon because of your loyalty. However, one more move like that... and I will personally expose you to the sun.— Muzan threatened, letting his brother go free.

—Muzan....I'm sorry, honey. I had no way to react to protect myself from Doma's kiss... I didn't expect it. - you whispered, your voice sounding completely different because of the way the veins that carry Muzan's blood tightened around your weave. You were in a kneeling position in front of your husband, who was sitting on a chair, his chin resting on his hand and his eyes down on your apologetic form. He had you like this for a while now, letting his anger out on you.

—.....— Muzan closed his eyes and then stopped controlling his cells, letting you breathe. His gaze moved to the side, ignoring you. You could see from a mile away that he was still pissed at you.

The moment you gained access to breathing again, you gasped. Coughing heavily from the dryness in my throat and the lack of oxygen. But you didn't have time to feel sorry for yourself, you had to console Muzan somehow, before he will kill useful demons.

You stepped closer to Muzan, resting your head on his knee.

—I love you, you know?— you said, knowing that this sentence would calm Muzan down instantly. The man finally looked at you, his gaze still as cold as ice. But his eyes became less wild, clear evidence that he had calmed down. His hand gently grabbed your chin, stroking it lightly with his thumb.

— I know. I love you too, you're like a toxin that makes me sick. But it is also very....addictive.— Muzan pulls your body up by your hand, he also stood up. Making you both switch positions, where this time you are sitting and he is kneeling.

— However, I want you to make me realize this by fucking me.— he said with a smirk. His tone was seductive and his eyes were filled with lust and horniness. Your member twitch at that sight, you couldn't resist your husband's "request", when it was clearly what you desired too deep down. Before you answered, Muzan already was working your pants off, he rip them off to be honest. Exposing your big and hard length that he loves so much, his tongue licks his lower lip, getting ready to the delicious taste he will have on it by a few seconds.

He opens his lips wide, already trying to deepthroat your dick with his tight canal. Making you hiss from pleasure and tighten your grip on the chair, claws digging into the wooden furniture. Your King sucks every good spots, pulling away for a while to spit on your cock to make it more wet. His tongue lick your tip, kissing it passionately as if making out with it, before going back down to your shaft. Licking up and down, massaging your balls and squeezing them from time to time. Making your head be on cloud 9 and resisting the urge to fuck your husband's throat. He wets your cock so good that it made such a sloppy sounds that made Muzan's mind go crazy, he only wants you to rile him like the last whore and then shower with affection. That's why he grabbed roughly your wrist and put it on his head, signaling you to control his movements.

You didn't waste any time in making him choke and gag all over your large cock, you could feel his nails pressing into your skin on thighs from pleasure and the feeling of your rough treatment. The feeling of a colossal hand gripping his hair, that clearly belong to you made his own dick almost cream his pants from excitement. And when you finally came in his mouth, he swallowed it eagerly like a treasure. His lips all red and swollen from sucking and having his mouth filled with something so thick.

— Take my clothes off. Now.— he damanded, but his voice sounds so needy and almost desperate. While he tried to mask it by cleaning your dick off from the rest of cum. You pull him on your lap with one move of your arm, making him gasp a bit. Before you took off his whole clothes, your gaze fixed on his expression that showed a pure lust. Muzan's mouth instinctively wrap itself around your fingers, wetting them as if he knows by the look on your face what you want him to do.

— Good slut.— you said with a smirk and satisfaction, even if your husband doesn't seem to like this nickname. (He feels butterflies in his stomach but his mind refuse to accept it)

— I am NOT a slut.— he said with serious tone, sounding a bit stern.

— Then I'll have to prove you wrong. Cause sluts like you can take cocks like mine without preparation.— You said, making Muzan look at you in confusion and he understood in a second what you meant.

— Oi, no!— he tried to protest in panic, his eyes widen, a loud scream from pleasure and pain left his mouth as you slam your cock inside him with one, smooth move. You groan at the tightness around your cock, it almost felt like it's sucking you inside.

— Don't cry, honey... I know you like it. Good slut-husbands like you are experts in satisfing your beloved.— you whisper in his ear, wiping his tears off from his cheeks. You looked at his expression that was a mix of pleasure and pain, his teeth clenched from the feeling of you deep inside him, touching his prostate with the tip of your cock.

Muzan was quiet for a few seconds, before he chuckles from esctasy and his red eyes fixed on you. He tighten his gummy like walls around your member to tease you and motivate you into fucking him.

— Of course.....I'll take care of your crotch like a good husband slut.— Muzan's lips kissed your face, starting with you forehead and ending at your lips. He really do love you for agreeing for you to call him this way....

Next thing he knows was you making him bounce like a desperate bunny on your dick, making sloppy sounds from going in and out of his entrance. The sounds of his loud moaning, mewling and your grunts and groans spread all over his office. Muzan's hair were messy and wet from sweat. His eyes unfocused. His sharp nails digging intl your shoulders. His legs shaking. His walls clenched and unclenched from pleasure and overstimulation. You hit his prostate over and over again, making him wanna cry to heavens.... or to hell.

Suddenly, you stand up with him in your arms, surprising him a bit as he got placed on his desk with legs spread. His back met the surface of the wooden furniture, he pants like a dog as he watched you put his legs on your shoulders, making your balls made a contact with his ass. He whimpers from that feeling.

— Fuck me.....Fuck your slutty husband.....fill me with your hiers and have the satisfaction of owning the King of demons~— Muzan said with a smirk, chest going up and down from breathing hard. That words went straight to your cock, twitching inside your lover. Your gaze like a predator, as you move oncr again. Hips snapping back and forth hard and deep, as if you were seriously trying to make him pregnant or break. He grip onto the edges of his desk, almost destroying it with his demonic strength. The pre-cum made it easier for you to go in and out of his warm and wet ass. His entrance sucked you greedy in, as if not planning for you to leave it.

— Such a good slut for me, huh? Your tiny hole seems not to want me to let go.— you said between moans, rubbing his pale waist in your hands.

— Uh-huh.....Haah...haaah...haaah...Not let go....haah...HAAH....HAAHH...— he said dumbly, without thinking twice before saying it. Feeling stupid from esctasy.

Hours passed, it was already morning and you two only just done having sex. You slip your cock out of his hole, making the cum drip from Muzan's ass. You looked at your dear husband that you spent your whole life as a demon. Admiring his appearance that looked so messy. It's kinda sad that the marks you left regenerate faster than you blink...But you still felt satisfaction, because you owned THE Muzan Kibutsuji.

— Very well, Y/N......you kept me satisfy.— Kibutsuji said, his voice breathless but his gaze intense. He pulls you towards him with strong grip, making you lay on top of his body. Rubbing your back and head with his hand.

— But you have to make me a bath with rose petals.— he demand, looking down at you with a smile. You snuggle against his chest, squeezing his nipples between your fingers. Making him glare at you.

— Control yourself. I want bath.—

— Hehehe....— you laughed nervously.

[moonstruckme]

hi okay hi you’ve probably seen me in your notifications for the last twenty minutes because i am absolutely obsessed with the way you write poly!marauders.

i was wondering if you could write something about the (fem)reader who slowly starts dissociating when things get tough and she’s not really present and while they’re concerned, they just show their love for her through caring until she comes back to herself. it’s completely okay if you can’t!!!

Thanks honey, I'm so glad you enjoy my blog! Love the pfp btw, I personally think that was Spence’s best hair. I know everyone experiences dissociation differently so I did some research and I hope this is alright! Many apologies if it’s not accurate

cw: dissociation, brief mention of sexual assault

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 910 words

You’re grateful to Sirius for defending you. You are, but the man’s hand on your ass had caused some deer-in-the-headlights glitch in your brain, and the yelling that ensued only made you retreat further into yourself. You know, distantly, that it’s Sirius’ voice, and that he’s yelling for you, not at you. But it’s all noise to you, a ruckus that means danger, and then there’s movement, and more hands, and everything that would be too much if you weren’t so far away. 

You feel like you’re sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool, everything above the surface of the water muffled and distorted. What happens up there doesn’t concern you. It’s peaceful down here, even if there is a certain wrongness to it. You know you don’t belong here, not really, but you can hold your breath and try to make it last. 

“Baby?” a voice says. “Hey, you okay?”

“Don’t shake her, that’s not going to help.” You can’t tell if it’s another voice or the same. The comfort it brings you doesn't change, and you can’t force yourself to care either way. You can’t care at all, really, about anything. You wonder if you should be worried about that, but feelings are something out of your reach, and maybe it’s better that way. 

“Something’s wrong with her.” 

“I can see that, love. We’re almost home.” 

“You don’t think she’s hurt, do you?”

More hands. You want to flinch away, but it’s like you’re moving through a thick sludge. “You’re alright, dove, I’m just checking that you’re okay. Do you hurt anywhere?”

“Why isn’t she talking?”

“I don’t know. I think…maybe she’s just overwhelmed. I don’t think she’s bleeding anywhere.”

“Fuck. Shit, is this a panic attack? Do you think she needs a doctor or something?”

“Let’s just give her a few minutes.” 

There’s more talking, but you give up on trying to decipher it. After a while, something cushy comes up underneath you, or maybe you go down onto it. Your hand is warm, and then it’s pressed to soft fabric. “Feel my heart going in there, baby? Can you focus on that for me?”

You’ve made such a cozy home for yourself in your head that it takes you some time to realize everything around you has gone quiet. There’s a persistent bumping at your palm. 

“Don’t tight hugs help with panic attacks?”

“We don’t know if that’s what this is. What if it scares her?”

“Hey, angel, can you hear me? Come back to us.” 

The wrongness of where you are is starting to set in, the voices at the surface louder and more insistent. You think that maybe your chest is starting to ache.

Something moves your feet, and then you're touching something interesting. Soft and a bit rough, familiar. Carpet. 

“Breathe, honey. Good. Again. We’ve got you, take your time.” 

You’re conscious of your breaths first, the effort it takes to fill and empty your lungs. Then the plush material under your thighs; you’re sitting on something. Awhile longer, and you realize you’re blinking, your eyes intermittently dry and then not. Eventually you register your hand, pressed to a beating heart. Sirius’ heart. 

You don't try to speak yet as you take in your surroundings. You’re home, on the couch, and someone’s taken off your socks and shoes, your feet bare on the carpet. You don’t know how any of that happened, which is unsettling, but the realization that you can feel unsettled comes with a sharp relief. 

Sirius’ finger swipes over your wrist where he’s gripping your hand to his chest, and your next exhale is shaky. 

“Dove?” Remus’ tone is cautious.

“Sorry,” you say croakily. “I don’t know what that was.” 

Sirius sighs, letting your hand drop from his chest, and Remus grips your ankle from where he sits by your feet, stroking his thumb over your achilles’ tendon in a way that you suspect is as much for him as it is for you.

“Fucking scary, is what it was,” James says, voice thick with tears. “Can I hug you?”

You nod, and his arms come around you with his usual eagerness, though you notice his hands trembling just a little. You squeeze his shoulders tightly. 

“I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, no sorries, okay?” Sirius says, though even he sounds exhausted from what you’ve just put them through. “You obviously couldn’t help it. Do you feel alright now?”

“Yeah,” you say, though you’re unsure. You feel relatively normal at the moment, but the knowledge that you can slip into numbness that easily doesn’t allow for much comfort. “I’m just…really tired, for some reason.” 

Remus hums. “I think your brain was doing a lot of work just now. Makes sense you’d need a rest.” 

James releases you from the hug but only sits back far enough to see your face, his hands lingering at your waist like he’s worried you’ll slip away if he lets go. “Want to cancel dinner and have a night in, sweetheart?”

You nod, your throat closing as warmth rushes to your face. “Yes, please.” 

“Hey,” Sirius says at your tears, voice lightly chiding but full of concern, “what’s wrong? You sure you’re feeling okay?”

“I’m okay,” you promise, swiping under your eyes. “Just, thank you guys for helping me. That was really scary.” 

“I know,” Remus says, palm sliding up your leg as he rises to give you a hug of his own. “I know it was, honey, but you don’t have to worry. We’ve always got you.” 

[galedekarios]

thoughts on emmrich's vows & vengeance ep

i just wanted a place for me to gather my thoughts about emmrich's ep.

i have to say that i enjoyed it much more than the others, though i'm very likely biased. i absolutely have my problems with the overall writing as well as the way the podcasts treats the lore of the world, but i liked the insights it gave into emmrich, his personality and also his relationship with manfred.

so in no particular order:

1: emmrich's kindness

this is something that really, really stuck out to me this episode. emmrich is so incredibly kind.

from wanting to set the horses pulling the carriage free so they can have a chance in the storm, even if there is a possibility they might not come back and leave them stranded in the middle of nowhere:

ROLET: The storm’s getting heavy, Master Emmrich. We may not be able to go much further. What do you want me to do? EMMRICH: Hmm, perhaps we should pull the carriage off the road and hunker down inside until it passes. ROLET: What about the horses, sir? EMMRICH: Unhitch them. ROLET: Unhitch them? EMMRICH: Those animals are every bit a part of nature as this storm. Their instincts will guide them to safety. We just have to give them the freedom to take care of themselves. I trust they shall return when this tempestuous weather has passed.

he's immediately ready to help nadia despite knowing nothing about her, who she is or what she is saying is true, dismissing rolet's very reasonable fear of bandits:

NADIA: By the Lady, I am so happy to see you. We, we, we've been stuck here at least an hour. I didn't know what to do. They, they were too heavy to carry in this mud. Their pulse is falling and I- EMMRICH: There, there. Please put your mind at ease, my lady. What is your name? NADIA: Nadia, but… EMMRICH: A pleasure, Nadia. Emmrich Volkarin, at your service. Now come, we have some room in the carriage and you can shelter there until the storm passes.

he's not only incredibly polite to everyone in this episode, but he's also very gentle with rolet and helps him walk after he injured his ankle:

EMMRICH: Forgive me, but I must gently roll the ankle to examine its condition. (ROLET YELLING) EMMRICH: How does that feel? ROLET: Ah, not good! EMMRICH: I'm afraid it might be broken. I don't think you can walk. ROLET: I can limp. EMMRICH: Not by yourself, you won't. We shall help you. Now, here we go.

he's incredibly human here, not caring about standing, doesn't think himself above to do so because rolet is his coachman. he only wants to help. it's also very nice to see him being a healer, too.

DRAYDEN: That's it! That's where they went. EMMRICH: Well, then we go this way. Please take my arm for balance.

the same kindness and compassion that he shows the horses in the beginning, nadia and drayden, as well as rolet, is echoed in the way he treats the spirits/demons in this episode:

EMMRICH: Spirit, I am warning you to stop this right now. DEMON SPINELLA: Piss off, human slime. EMMRICH: I do not wish to hurt you or the body you inhabit, but I will not allow you to harm my companion. DEMON SPINELLA: Go back to your necropolis, death whisperer. EMMRICH: I'm sorry, but that body does not belong to you. EMMRICH: Spirit, you are not welcome here. And you are not welcome to that body. You shall leave now! EMMRICH: Please relinquish her body before someone gets hurt. DEMON SPINELLA: Oh, well, if I can't have her body,then no one will! EMMRICH: Easy now. Take that bottle away from your neck and put it down. DEMON SPINELLA: Or else what? EMMRICH: Please, I beg of you. DEMON SPINELLA: I want you to remember this moment clearly and painfully because this is on you! (FLESH SQUELCHING) (DEMON CHOKING AND GURGLING) EMMRICH: No, don't! EMMRICH: No!

he doesn't know who the woman possessed it yet he still tries to save her. he still tries to reason with the spirit.

and even though we can't see what is happening as for as the character's facial expressions are concerned and drayden rushes to reassure emmrich, that what happened is not his fault, that it's not on him, i think that it's very clear in his prolonged silence after that emmrich may see it as his failing and that it left him shaken.

all in all, it just really echoes what corinne busche and others who were lucky enough to play the preview of datv already said about emmrich: he's an extremely kind man.

what makes me worry though a bit is just how quick he is to trust and others at their word.

i talked about this with my friend @lairofsentinel too and we both feel that emmrich might not be as discerning about people's motivations and their possible deceptions - and the inherent danger in that - as he is when it comes to the dead, spirits and healing.

of course, taking v&v's writing with a grain of salt, but if it's reflective of how emmrich behaves in the game itself, it might be interesting to explore this "flaw" in emmrich's character.

emmrich seems very much too good for his own good.

he has spent more time among the dead, knows about their regrets and their emotions, and is renowned for his skill (see also tevinter nights). it might be that it came at the detriment - to some degree - when it comes to dealing with the living.

2: emmrich being very competent at what he does

it was also incredible to see emmrich at work:

NADIA: Drayden! EMMRICH: Stand back. EMMRICH: (echoing) May these words travel beyond the flesh, beyond the body, flowing down the silver thread to the spirit lost. Your home is calling, Drayden. Hear me! Your home is calling. NADIA: What are you doing? EMMRICH: I'm sending a message beyond the Veil to let Drayden know that it will soon be safe for them to return to their body.

-

EMMRICH: Now I need to finish preparations, but once the ritual begins, it shouldn't take long. However, with the poison's advancement, I will most likely need to perform an exsanguination. PASCAL: Hmm, blood magic, such messy business. EMMRICH: Ah, merely a cleansing. Nothing will be summoned, I give you my word.

-

EMMRICH: Spirit fire of midnight suns, through my spire of ill and ire, the wretched blood be blessed, not mired. EMMRICH: Manfred, stand back, I must direct the blood through the air without interruption. But,be ready. (MANFRED HISSES) EMMRICH: Let the cleansing grace lead you to thy spirit's place. Manfred, the blood has gathered. Quickly, please, spark the flames with the silver power. EMMRICH: Excellent work, friend! The blood is returning to the body. Drayden's spirit has heard the call. Come on, Drayden, I can feel your spirit's might. You are strong. You can do this, just fight. Fight for yourplace in this world. EMMRICH: That's it, you're almost home. Manfred, please smash the ampoule of Cetusbile. EMMRICH: Drayden, I commit you once more to the flesh. Now, find this body and purge it of its trespass. And wake up!

i also like that last bit especially because it's another callback to corinne busche saying that emmrich is all about positive affirmations, that he's very encouraging.

i remember the gameplay previews where he compliments rook during a fight - and he does the same here, encouraging drayden to find their own strength to return.

3: emmrich & manfred

i absolutely love the way these two interact. emmrich clearly is proud of him, he defends him, he speaks up for him. but he also knows he can rely on manfred.

my favourite moments were probably this moment after rolet and nadia startle at the sight of manfred:

NADIA: Why is there a walking skeleton exiting your carriage? EMMRICH: That, dear Nadia, is Manfred. NADIA: Manfred, your assistant? EMMRICH: Indeed, a gentle spirit, ball of curiosity, and a threat to no one.

it's just such a sweet way to describe manfred and you can tell there's genuine affection there.

i also thought it was cute that manfred doesn't like nicknames and that emmrich translates for manfred:

NADIA: Someone hand me that board. NADIA: Thanks, Bones. NADIA: Ah! What's your problem? EMMRICH: Oh, I'm afraid Manfred here is not very fond of nicknames. NADIA: Oh, sorry. (MANFRED GRUNTING) EMMRICH: He says apology accepted.

there also multiple instances of emmrich complimenting manfred on his work, just as he did in his short story:

EMMRICH: Manfred, did you salvage my kit? (MANFRED GRUNTING) EMMRICH: Excellent work.

and it's clear that manfred is a big part of how emmrich performs his duties. he's very much included at every turn and emmrich clearly relies on him and trusts manfred to do what he needs him to do.

4: other stuff

ROLET: But this place is creepy. EMMRICH: Well, I think it's quite charming. ROLET: All due respect, sir, but you would.

emmrich finding the obviously haunted castle vibes of their temporary shelter charming while everyone else has the creeps (and rightly so!) was so funny and in character.

in conclusion:

me waiting for 31st october:

[eldritch-nightmare]

do the others know about you?

synopsis: you're just a human dating someone that's... well. you can certainly never introduce them to your friends or family. but do their friends/companions know about you?

a/n: is it a good idea to include every single creepypasta i can think of from the top of my head... no. will i do it anyway? yes, i will. anyways this right here is my pride and joy. i enjoyed writing it, and i'm proud of it, so i hope you guys enjoy it as well.

warnings: possessive behavior in a few, yandere behavior in a few, spoiler alert alex almost kills you but dw there's no character death here.

includes: jeff the killer, eyeless jack, jane the killer [richardson + arkensaw], laughing jack, slenderman, nina the killer, the bloody painter, the puppeteer, clockwork, jason the toymaker, hobo heart, nurse ann, zalgo, x-virus, homicidal liu, ticci toby, tim wright, brian thomas, jay merrick, alex kralie, and jessica locke.

jeff the killer would more than likely tell the others about you, though mostly just so everyone knows that you're off limits for killing. he also just has this thing where he needs people to know what belongs to him so they know not to touch it, and in his mind, you belong to him so. none are allowed to touch you.

eyeless jack isn't that open about his personal life to others. mostly because he can't remember any of it, but also because he's just a guarded person in general. at most, the only people who know about you will probably be jeff, ben, and maybe sully.

jane richardson doesn't really hide your existence, mostly because she doesn't have contact with the others, so it doesn't matter. everyone of importance knows that you're together, and the government knows as well, so.

jane arkensaw would prefer certain people didn't find out about you, though she may tell some of her close friends about you if she's certain that they will keep your existence a secret as well. then again, it's not like you'll ever come into contact with any of the others so long as she has any say about it.

laughing jack more than likely lets everyone know about you because he literally can't shut up about you. he loves you! people need to know that he is so sickeningly devoted to you! even the kids he terrorizes know about you!

slenderman doesn't have any say on whether or not people learn about you because they're gonna find out anyways. besides, it's better if they did know about you because then they would know that you are off limits for killing. anyone who dares to even try to harm you will understand the pure wrath slender can bring down upon them.

nina the killer wants everyone to know about you. she needs everyone to know that you two are together and that she loves you so very much. she tells everyone all about the dates you two have and the gifts you get each other. it's cute, though it can be annoying at times.

the bloody painter doesn't interact much with the others, so not many of them know. helen doesn't really care if anyone finds out that he's dating you, it doesn't really matter to him. though... he will have some words if any of them try making a move on you or hurting you. you're his muse, after all.

the puppeteer doesn't want anyone to know about you, not even his proxies. you're his. no one else deserves to even know that you exist, so why the hell would he tell anyone about you? at most, the only person who knows about you would be emra because he knows that she won't tell anyone if he orders it.

clockwork doesn't let people close to her, so only a small handful of people would even know about you. she likes that none of the others really knows about you, though a part of her thinks about telling them so they know not to make you a victim. not that you'll ever become a victim, of course. she'll protect you from anything, don't worry.

jason the toymaker wouldn't want anyone to know about you. honestly, his whole thing is making sure that you belong to no one but him. you don't need anyone other than him, so why would he tell anyone about you? the others will know that he has someone in his life already, someone he'd burn the world down for, but they'll never know it's you unless they visit his toy shop.

hobo heart would be delighted if the others knew you were his. you have his heart, so it's only natural for everyone to know that you love each other, right? that's how relationships work. he doesn't really speak much with the others, but when he is around then he'll let everyone know who has his heart.

nurse ann is hardly ever around the others for them to even know about you. the only three to know of your existence is liu, sully, and helen because those are the only people she's close with. they don't need to know about you, it's not like they'll ever hurt you. trust me, she won't let them even if they were to try.

zalgo is just as surprised as everyone else that he's like... together. with you. shocks him every day, to be honest. but yes, he wants everyone to know you're his. he doesn't see you as a weakness, though he knows how fragile humans are so he makes sure you're safe from any that may cause you harm. it also sends a... delightful chill to the core of his existence knowing that everyone knows you belong to him.

x-virus basically needs everyone to know that you're together. not because he's possessive in any way, but because he needs to use this as a way to keep you with him. a tactic to keep you from leaving, if you will. with you dating cody, you're safe from harm. if you ever leave him, then you're no longer under his protection. so... stay with him.

homicidal liu is... hesitant, to put it simply. he doesn't particularly mind if the others find out, but he most certainly won't go out of his way to tell anyone. he doesn't want you involved in the darker parts of his life because he's worried about your safety. there are a few that he simply doesn't trust to know about you. sully, on the other hand, would love for everyone to know about you. he doesn't tell anyone because he respects liu's wishes to keep your existence a secret. though, he can't lie, it does make his heart race knowing that he and liu are the only ones who know about you.

ticci toby neither hid your relationship from people nor did he let anyone know about it. he's a naturally reserved person, so it wasn't like he was super open about himself with the others. in the beginning, the only one to know about you would probably be slender, but that's just because it's like... toby's boss, essentially. of course, those who were paying attention could see the signs.

tim wright would definitely keep your existence secret for as long as possible. the only person who knew about you in the beginning was brian, if we're being honest, and after all hell breaks loose, he'd do everything he could to keep you from getting involved. god forbid if jay or alex found out about you. jay would've used you to find him, and alex would've tried killing you.

brian thomas was open about his relationship with you, so everyone knew who you were. you even offered moral support to everyone filming marble hornets. of course, brian disappeared one day... and then you lost contact with alex... and tim was trying to move on with his life, so you didn't really keep in touch with him either. then jay came around, and... well. that led to a certain hooded figure watching you from afar.

jay merrick was neither open nor reserved about his relationship with you. he probably mentioned you early on in a few tapes, and he maybe even introduced you to alex when they were still friends. you'd probably be mentioned in casual conversation with tim, but ultimately it was a situation where if someone knew, they knew. and if they don't, then they just don't.

alex kralie was more reserved about his relationship with you. his closest friends knew, such as jay and brian, but that was about it. of course, once the operator entered the scene and alex started cleaning up loose ends, your life was endangered. alex... he wanted to kill you. he had to kill you. you suppose it's a good thing jay managed to find you before alex could.

jessica locke is obviously very open about her relationship with you. no need to keep it a secret, y'know? you two are like... the couple, y'know? everyone knows you're dating; you guys don't hide it. why would you two keep it a secret? there's no reason to.

[twice-inamillion]

Smut (Tsundere, First-time sex, Penetration, Creampie, Breaking down, Getting caught)

After Jimmy Choo 

Chapter 233

 3,900 Words 

(Jeongyeon's first brand grand opening and her first, if you know what I mean. Jeongyeon and OC get a bit tipsy and “stuff” occurs. Jeongyeon acts like a tsundere but gets taken down by OC’s length.

Jeongyeon walks down the red carpet and stops at the black tape, turning for the camera. The flash of dozens of cameras go off, capturing the beauty of Yoo Jeongyeon. 

You stand from afar and watch Jeongyeon pose and act properly in front of everyone. Internally laughing at how professional she is being compared to how she is at home. 

Out of nowhere you noticed a hooded person with soccer sweats and a large camera taking pictures of Jeongyeon. “Is that a sasang?” You walk towards the direction of the person who covers their face with a hoodie and mask and grab their shoulder, “Can I help you with something?” 

The person flinches and turns around, “it's me.” You're surprised to see Nayeon in a disguise and say, “What are you doing here?”

“Just here to show my support and take some funny pictures.”

You can’t help but chuckle and say, “Alright, good luck.” 

You leave and go back to your position until Jeongyeon walks back to the store to look around at the merchandise. “Good job with the press.”

“Thanks. What is next on the schedule?”

“Well, you have an hour here, and then a get-together at the venue next door for a few more hours.” 

“Fuck, I'm tired already. Want to go home.”

“Hey, keep it down. People are going to hear you.”

“But…”

“How about this: you relax and do well, and I'll buy you something to eat.”

“Better get that wallet ready because I'm going to empty it out.”

“That's only if you behave.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

The day goes on without a hitch and get positive feedback from the event staff about Jeongyeon's engagement throughout the day. 

Once the event is over, Jeongyeon changes shoes and steps out of the changing room, “All right, let's go. I'm hungry.”

“You're not going to change outfit?”

“Nah, they said I can keep it, so I'll just wear it. Let's go. I have a place in mind, so prepare your wallet.”

“Just nothing too expensive.”

“You said you were treating me to a meal and said nothing about cost so get ready to drop some won.”

“Fuck, alright. Let's go.”

Jeongyeon gives you directions to the place, which is a mom-and-pop restaurant that serves some good drinks and a variety of meats. The server comes up and asks for the number of people in the party. “Just two,” responds Jeongyeon, and are immediately escorted to a table.

Once seated, Jeongyeon doesn't waste any time to grab the menu and look at what they offer. She orders multiple side dishes, different cuts of meats, and a couple of drinks. 

“You're going to break my wallet!”

“That's on you. You're the one who invited.”

“Alright, it doesn't happen often, so I might as well.”

The food arrives, and the two of you begin to dig in. After paying the bill, Jeongyeon convinces you to go to a bar after calling you a lightweight. She orders a few beers, soju, and vodka. 

It doesn't take long until she begins to slur her words and get a little touchy, “oppa, why are you so hardheaded?” Jeongyeon rubs your thighs and puts her head against your shoulder. 

“Jeongyeon, I think you had enough to drink. Let’s call a cab and head back.”

”I don’t want to. I can still drink a bit more,” as she tries to pour herself another glass of soju.”

“No, I think you had enough. Let’s go.”

”Noo. I don’t to go back. You can go if you want, I’m going to stay.”

”Come on, you’re going to get hurt or draw attention to yourself.”

”Why do you care? I don’t belong to you. Just go.” 

Jeongyeon can be a good drinker, but mixing different drinks isn’t her forte. You pay the tab, get her belongings and help her walk towards the exit. “I’m going to call a cab.”

”No, it’s too expensive right now. My sister’s place is nearby. We can stop there for a bit.”

”Are you sure?”

”Yeah, she’s away on a trip for a few days.”

”Okay, where is it?”

”Umm, a few minutes away, that way” as she points towards with her finger. “Alright, lets go. Just let me know.”

”Take out your phone.”

”Okay.” You hand her your phone, and she opens the navigation app and voices her sister’s address on your phone. “Here, that’s easier.” 

You hold your phone out as you help her walk to her sister’s place. It only takes a few minutes for the both of you to arrive. “This is her place. Let me insert the pin.” She struggles inputting the pin with her fingers missing the keypad.

”Let me do it. What’s her pin?”

”Oh, it's my parent’s wedding date.” 

You insert the pin, and the door opens. Jeongyeon walks towards the living room couch and lays down. “Jeongyeon, try to change your clothes and get some rest.”

“I don't want to, I'm too lazy.”

“Come on, you can't sleep like that.”

“Fuck, alright. Damn, you're so annoying!” 

“Hey, I'm just doing it because I care, but if you don't, then forget about it.”

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.”

“I'm just doing it because I care.”

“If you care then come help me stand up so I can change.”

You give Jeongyeon your hand and help her walk to her sister's room to grab some clothes. 

She looks at herself in the mirror and tries to get herself together after a night of drinking. She's tippy but not drunk enough to need your help and is just playing the part of a defenseless girl. “It's now or never,” and smacks her face.

She exits the bathroom and heads to the living room, where you are on your phone. She grabs the remote, selects a movie, and plays it. 

“Isn’t it kind of late to watch a movie?”

”Not sleepy. Want a snack?”

”Sure.” 

Jeongyeon heads to the fridge, grabs an ice cream bar, and hands one to you, “Here.” She grabs a blanket and uses it to cover herself as she lays on the couch. 

“What are we watching?”

”Just shut up and watch the movie. Dang, you and all your questions.”

You tell yourself that if Jeongyeon wasn’t drunk, you would have slapped her in the back of the head. Sometimes you don’t understand why she can be cool and rude at other times, you just can't read her. 

The movie plays, and you try to watch it, but after a while, you begin to fall asleep on the couch. Your eyes feel heavy, and you turn to Jeongyeon, seeing her completely invested in the movie. With your arm resting on the couch, you use it as support and decide to close your eyes for a bit.

Suddenly, you feel a weird sensation on your crotch but don’t pay too much attention to it. Only a few moments later, you feel a hand rustling inside your boxers and grabbing your cock. You turn around and see Jeongyeon sitting next to you with her blanket covering the both of you, “What are you doing?”

”Nothing.”

You lift the covers and see Jeongyeon's hand inside your pants, grabbing onto your limp cock.”

“Jeongyeon, stop.”

“What. I just wanted to take a look.”

“Come on, right now it’s not the time, you're drunk.”

“I'm not drunk. Plus, it seemed like you needed a bit of help. You should be grateful I'm touching that nasty ass cock.” She continues to stroke your shaft with her hand, slowly.

Jeongyeon pulls the covers, giving you a glimpse of her hand in your pants. She looks at you with a smirk and pulls out your cock. “What a disgusting-looking cock. It's all limp and nasty-looking. I bet you can't even hold a boner.”

Trying to prove her wrong, you imagine yourself flipping Jeongyeon over and fucking her without mercy. This wild type of thinking makes you fully erect. “What about now?”

“Eww, it's so veiny. I don't understand why the girls are so into that cock of yours.” 

“What the fuck, Jeongyeon. Why do you have to be such a bitch?”

You can see her expression change, and out of nowhere, you see her hand swing at you and towards your face.

“You think you can hit me?” as you catch her hand midair. She tries to go for another swing, but you dodge it. “Haha, what now? You can't even hit right.”

“Fuck you,” and you feel her spit on your face. “What the fuck!”

You see her smirk, making you lose your patience. With a firm grip, you grab her hands and pin her down on the couch. “Someone needs to teach you a lesson or two.”

“And you think that's you? What do you think you're going to do, fuck me?”

“That's what you want, huh? Someone to fuck the shit out of you.”

“Haha, don't think you'll be able to satisfy me at all.” 

“Fuck you, let's see if that's the case,” you pick her up like a rag doll and carry her to her sister's room. She tries to fight you by smacking your chest, but you just toss her into the bed and begin to remove your clothes. All she does is watch as you get completely naked. 

Jeongyeon then tries to get away, but you grab onto her oversized shirt and rip it off, “What are you doing?”

“I'm going to fuck the shit out of you,” as you focus on her shorts. With one firm grip of your hand, you pull her shorts down, exposing her bushy cunt.

“Haha, nice bush.”

“Fuck off.”

Her shorts get tossed to the ground, and you spread her legs wide open. Jeongyeon tries to cover her cunt, but with her hands but they’re pinned down, all she can do is watch as you glide your fingers against her nicely trimmed but full bushy cunt.

You can see her eyes get watery from the position she is in so you go in for a kiss. Jeongyeon is surprised by the sudden kiss and doesn’t know how to react, but her heart begins to race. She tries to fight you off, but with your weight on her, it’s futile and just watches as you explore her mouth with your tongue. 

After what seems like a minute or two, you pull away from her lips and give your attention to her cunt. You grab your semi-hard cock and smack it against her pelvis, then glide it across her nicely trimmed but bushy cunt. “Fuck, that feels so nice. Didn’t know you liked keeping yours like this.”

”Shut up. It’s not like I knew you were going to do this. Just put it in already and get it over with,” she said as she tilts her head to the side. 

“Don’t play dumb, I know you want this cock” as you slap it against her cunt. 

“Do you think I want that nasty thing inside me? Haha, you must be crazy.”

With your cock in hand, you trace it against her folds and feel a slight wetness, “Don’t think your body agrees with you. It wants me to put this thing right here, inside.”

”No, you’re wrong.”

”I guess you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re too uptight. Momo and Chaeyoung were right; you’re such a scaredy cat,” as you turn away.

”What did they say?”

”Nothing much, just that you don’t make up your mind and are probably the last person to find a partner with your attitude. They said something like you’re going to be an, “Old cat lady” and alone your whole life.”

”Take that back.”

”I didn’t say that; it was them. But I think they might be right.” You pull up your boxers and button up your pants, ready to head out.

”Wait.”

You turn around and see her position herself against the bed with her legs wide open and her fingers spreading her lower lips.

”No, you lost your chance.”

“Why not? You legit were going to do it a few minutes ago.”

“I’m not going to be your toy to get at the others because your ego took a hit.”

”Please, all you got to do is just put it in.”

”I don’t just “put it in” I’m not a dog.”

”Alright, screw you.” 

“You know what, since you want it that bad, then I’ll do it, but you’re going to owe me a favor.”

”What do you want?”

”Don’t worry about it. I’ll let you know when the time arrives.”

You unbutton your pants and toss your boxers to the side. Jeongyeon stares at your member as you climb on the bed and lay on it. “Alright, there you go.”

”What do you mean?”

”Since you want it that bad, then put it in yourself.”

”It’s not that I want to, I’m just doing it because of what they said.”

”Yeah, tell yourself that.” 

You get yourself comfortable and cross your arms behind your neck, “It’s ready when you are.” Jeongyeon glares at you and says, “Get that smug look off your face.”

”Why should I? I’m about to get some free pussy tonight.”

”You’re such a pig. I don’t know what Jihyo sees in you.”

”Hey, if you don't, then just find someone else,” as you try to get up.

”No!,” pushing you back to the bed. “Just shut up and I’ll do everything.”

You nod and watch Jeongyeon get her thoughts together as she tries to mount you. She grabs your cock and gives it a few strokes. Her strokes have no rhythm, and you can tell she’s nervous, which makes it even better for you. After a minute or two, she says, “I’m going to put it in.”

”Wait, let me get my phone.”

”Why do you need your phone?”

”I’m going to record it.”

”No! Don’t!”

”Well, you want have evidence to show the girls and prove them wrong, right?”

Jeongyeon freezes and contemplates if recording is the right choice but then remembers the videos on her phone. “Okay, just let me see it when it's done.”

”Yeah, no problem.” 

With your phone in hand, you get a perfect view of Jeongyeon on top of you. She grabs your cock once more, lifts herself up and aligns your member to her entrance. “Rub the tip against your folds, it feels much better.” Without saying anything, she traces her lower lips against your tip, coating them with each other’s nectar. 

Once she covers your whole tip with her nectar, she positions it at her entrance. She lowers herself slowly, inserting the tip inside her cunt. Little by little, she takes more of you, and you can feel her walls spreading from your girth. 

“Ahh, so big.”

Jeongyeon stops with only two inches inside of her and tries to collect her composure. 

“Why you stop?”

”It hurts. You’re much bigger than my toys.” 

“Haha.” 

She covers her mouth, realizing what she just said. “I didn’t mean that, I’ve had much bigger than you.”

”Oh, really? Prove it. Take it all in at once.”

”I don’t want to.”

You set the phone on the nightstand with a good bed view. “Want me to help you?” 

“No, get your nasty hands off me!”

Her constant name-calling and degrading you when you’re just trying to help her out, you realize that this is the last straw. You need to teach her a lesson and show her who’s in charge.

“Know you what Jeongyeon, I’m tired of your shit.” 

“ Wait, what are you doing?” as she sees you get up and suddenly flip her over with her back against the bed. 

“Remember, I said that I was going to fuck the shit out of you.”

No, please. I’m sorry. I take it back.” 

Her pleas go through deaf ears as you align your cock to her entrance. You can see her reaction change when she realizes what you are going to do. “Wait!” In one go you slam yourself into her, violently shoving your whole cock to the deepest part of her womb.

”Fuck! Fuck! You dumb ass, it hurts!” complaining about the pain. She tries to push you away, but it's no use; you’re going to have your fun. 

"Pull it out!"

"I don't want to."

“Please wait, let me catch my breath, at least.”

Just like before, you ignore her pleas and instead start to thrust rapidly. She grabs onto your arms, digging her nails into your skin. Her nails sting, but know it's nothing compared to what Jeongyeon is going through, so you bear with it. 

“Please, you’re going too rough; just slow down.”

The only response is the sound of flesh slapping against each other, her walls getting stretched by your massive girth. You keep on thrusting, switching from a rapid pace to a slow one and repeating it over and over again. 

It doesn’t take long for Jeongyeon to reach her climax, her walls almost choking your cock. “Ahh, fuck! I’m cumming!”

Jeongyeon cums on your cock, arching her back and spasming uncontrollably. You all can do is hold her tight for a few seconds before fucking her again. Jeongyeon’s eyes go wide as she feels you thrust your cock inside her clenching insides and apologizes to you for being mean to you and begs you to stop and let her finish her orgasm. 

“Please, I’m sorry.”

”You don’t mean it.”

”I do.”

”I don’t believe you.”

Instead of stopping, you increase the pace, making Jeongyeon realize that all she can do is try to keep whatever sanity she has left. 

After some time, you feel a sense of hotness in your core, knowing that you’re about to cum soon. You want to see Jeongyeon’s reaction when you give her the news. 

”Fuck, Jeongyeon. I’m going to cum soon.”

”Ah ah... just make sure to pull out.”

Instead, you switch positions and place her in a mating press. “What are you doing?”

”I want to make sure you get a good view when it cum inside you.”

”Wait, what?”

”Don’t play dumb. You heard me. I’m going to mark that womb of yours. Maybe you’ll be less of a bitch if I fill you up.”

The thing you don’t realize is that she actually wants you to cum inside. That’s all she’s ever wanted, to feel her womb get filled by your thick cum like the rest of her members. She wanted you to fuck her this whole time, but her tsundere personality doesn’t allow her to show her actual feelings. 

She watches as you pin her down and spread her legs even wider to get a better position. Her heart beats faster and faster as you shout that you’re about to cum. 

“Take it out, don’t come inside!”

Those are fake words that she says, but inside her head, she says the complete opposite and begs you to fill her to the brim.

”Fuck, I’m going to claim your womb as mine, so take my cum, you annoying bitch!”

”Ahh fuck! What are you doing? It's so hot!” unknowingly wrapping her legs around your waist but saying the complete opposite to her actions. 

Jeongyeon’s head goes crazy with what she is feeling, her neurons firing the fastest it's ever been. She finally understands why the rest of the members enjoy the feeling of getting her womb pumped with your baby batter. 

“You’re going to ruin me!” and bites your shoulder.

”Fuck!”

”Haha, that’s what you get.” 

You pull out and check touch the area where she bit you, but it isn’t too bad. You then focus your attention on Jeongyeon and see her gaping cunt, oozing out cum. 

“Fuck, you look hot covered in my cum” teasing her.

She rolls her eyes, “Shut up. I told you to pull out. Look at the mess you made,” pointing at the cum dripping on the sheets. You grab the camera, position it before her, and take a shot of your work. 

“What are you doing?”

”Taking a picture. Nine out of nine, check. haha.”

Jeongyeon gives you a disgusted expression when she realizes what you meant and throws a pillow at you but dodge it. 

“How about another round? I’ll pull out this time.”

”Do what you want. What’s the point of pulling out if you already came inside of me” and spreads her legs open. 

"Turn around and get on all fours, I want to fuck you from the back.” 

Like someone who has accepted her fate, she does as she’s told and gets on all fours. She buries her face onto the pillow and spreads her cheeks, giving you a good view of her holes. 

You align your cock to her entrance and smack her ass, causing her to yelp from getting caught off guard. 

“I’m going to fuck you all night, so make sure to keep up.”

She bites the pillow and makes a face of pure euphoria as she gets her insides rearranged. The two of you end up doing it for hours until she passes out of exhaustion and with a smile on her face. 

You head to the livingroom and get something to drink as you go through your phone and look over the videos you’ve made with the rest of the members before going back to sleep. 

---------

The next day you get woken up and see Jeongyeon on top of you with your cock in her hand and aligned it to her entrance. To your surprise, she seems different from usual, happy, you might suggest. 

Obviously, you wouldn’t say no to some morning sex and just let Jeongyeon do her thing. She slowly inserts the tip and waits a few seconds before dropping her whole weight on your cock. 

“Fuck, so good,” and begins to ride you in a hard but steady manner. She places her head on your shoulder, letting you hear her heavy breathing. 

You close your eyes and whisper in Jeongyeon’s ear all the things you did last night. The more you say, the tighter her walls clench on your cock, and the more sure she gets into a good rhythm. 

Unbeknownst to you, someone was making their way back home after being away for a few days. She unlocks the door and can’t think of anything but to take a nice shower and take a nap after a busy week. She notices that her house is off but can’t find what it is. She then looks down and sees a pair of shoes she’s never seen before and her younger sister’s shoes next to it. 

Seungyeon walks around to see a blanket and some clothes on the couch. She has a vague idea of what occurred and smiles. Seungyeon slowly makes her way to her room and hears moaning coming out from the other side of the door. She takes out her phone and, quietly turns the handle, and sees her sister in the nude on top of some. 

“Click. Click.” 

Suddenly, Jeongyeon turns around and sees her sister standing at the entrance with her phone and flash on. 

“Unnie!” 

“Surprise!”

[devisopod]

Book of Bill Ramblings

If you don't want spoilers, I'd suggest you stop reading before the cut. This'll contain quotes from the book! I've avoided content and conversation about this thing like the plague, so I'm going in blind. This is gonna be a wall of text if you're on mobile. Have fun, if you're into that.

I'm gonna solve the ciphers by myself, so they won't be included here, it's more fun that way! This is all just my "analysis" or whatever you wanna call it.

|| PREFACE

I am an adult. I'm not here to argue or debate with anyone about the content of this book! I'm simply sharing my personal breakdown, so these opinions and statements are in no way meant to be taken as "the right way" to look at it. They're how I alone choose to view the text! I'm open to discuss it, if you want, like sane and civilized people. Heated arguments or grumblings fueled by the discontent that someone doesn't buy into the way YOU'RE perceiving a work of fiction is unwelcome.

Now.

Before I even had the book in my hand, I knew how I wanted to approach this. I had to keep in mind this is all meant to be written by the worst character in the series (from a narrative standpoint), and he isn't supposed to be pitied. So seriously obvious, I know, but it's THE most important factor to circle back to given ANY tidbit of information.

Since this is his point-of-view, which is such a skewed perspective to begin with, it's ultimately bound to be manic (and god was it). He's everything we already know him to be: out of his mind, a compulsive liar, a pro at manipulation, and literally so self-important. That's what makes it difficult to trust whether or not things that happened (or didn't happen) will be altered by his unstable state of mind.

I think I'd even go as far as to say that he's delusional in a lot of ways. No matter how smart he thinks he is, or objectively is, he's a highly flawed individual that is constantly sabotaging himself. And what's more, he doesn't CARE. Bill, while driven in his own right, is highly apathetic unless events or actions directly impact him significantly and negatively.

INITIAL AND UNCATEGORIZED THOUGHTS:

- Holy shit, it's like Bill prides himself on being some sort of "all-knowing" being, but he's really just a fat gossip.

- Bill says it and stresses it multiple times in this book that not only is reality not under your control, but you don't understand it. Only he understands it, and you're just too dumb. Nothing is real. But the universe is a hologram, and everything is also a multiverse. Dennis and Kyle hold our existence in a binder.

- As suggested, he is quite literally feeding you lies, and he's having fun doing it.

- So, Bill's kind of dead, but not really. He's existing in a "half life" state. "Descending through circles, battling demons, reliving [his] whole life... somewhere far away... where the music is always out of tune. Where everyone smiles but no one is happy". Sounds like a mall lmao.

Okay, we'll get into it. My back hurts.

1 || "SIXER, IT WOULD EAT YOU ALIVE."

Let me just start this by saying that Bill sees Ford as a possession. He spent a lot of time grooming him, so he feels HEAVILY entitled to Ford in an "I made you" sort of way. Which is just about as messed up as you'd expect it to be! Bill EXPECTS Ford to be okay with this and even functions under the assumption that Ford wants to belong to him, which is very likely a stem from how open to the relationship Ford was at the beginning. He's constant in sharing that he's grateful for Bill's influence and that it's made his life so much better.

That aside, Bill is repeatedly suggesting to the reader that people that hate him actually love him a lot. And it's so likely that some twisted line of love and being used was blurred between these two. I've said it before and I'll say it again: sharing a mind and a body with a seemingly god-like being is going to fuck you and your perspective UP, I don't care who you are.

After all, "the more people love you, the more brainwashed sheep you can bend to your whims! So CONQUERING HEARTS is one of the most important things you can do!"

While, Ford is an immensely strong-willed individual, he's so very weak to Bill's manipulation because Bill knows EXACTLY what he wants to hear. He's been learning and planning for this kind of thing for a very, very long time and using countless others to do so. So, his false loyalty and promises, though really suspicious to anyone else, appeal to Ford's ego and subconcious because they're specifically catered to him.

And this is where Bill thrives. He is extremely efficient at finding the selfishness within others and exploiting it because he is selfish. He doesn't care what happens as long as he reaches his goal. Any pain along the way isn't gonna be his, so why not just relax and enjoy it? And he's found his match: a "brilliant, morally ambiguous, and romantically challenged" individual. To him, Ford fits the bill (no pun intended), and no dumb Shaman is gonna scare him off this one. It's all a trick to keep him away from advancing his portal plans, right?

He emphasizes his excitement at the prospect of Ford's potential as a pawn by saying, "This is what a partner looks like. The ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak. And totally isolated from anyone who might steer him clear of my plans."

He's impressionable and gullible enough to follow him blindly in the name of discovery and arguably as a result of his alienation in the odd town that is Gravity Falls.

And that's where I think Bill's influence should be addressed. Bill's been whispering in Ford's ear, making his life easier, and "fixing" his problems by offering solutions that HE would use. That's the scary part, I think. Bill uses so many different types of flattery, even gives Ford a lot of confidence that he needs, which really feeds into Ford's trust.

2 || GUYS WITH BIG BRAINS GET ON MY NERVES

After seeing Stan on TV, selling the "Grifter", Ford starts to seem like he's having second thoughts about maybe calling Stan up. Bill is, naturally, quick to shoot this down by convincing him it's a waste of time.

With both Stan and Fiddleford, we see Bill kind of steering Ford away. It's clear Ford wants to be around both of them, but as Bill has already suggested, he wants to keep this one isolated. Ford's attention should ONLY be on him and the work that needs to be done. He's not gonna make the same mistakes he made with his previous puppets.

It's unclear whether Bill complicates things on purpose or not, but he certainly isn't interested in making them better.

As far as the relationship between Ford and Fiddleford is concerned (whether you view it as brotherly, romantic, or platonic), I think it had a lot of potential to bring Ford away from Bill, but Ford is just not equipped to be a solid and reliable partner at this stage of his life. He's too focused, too full of himself, and really desperate to fill the hole Stan left. Or maybe not desperate enough.

I've made this point before and I'll make it again: the vast majority, if not all of, the heavy lifting in the dynamic between Ford and Fiddleford IS DONE BY FIDDLEFORD. He is a very caring and loyal person, very much to a fault in this situation.

The Christmas gifts he makes Ford are very personal. Ford means a lot to Fiddleford, so much so that he doesn't see his family often and chooses to help with the research. Whether or not Fiddleford and Emma-May were already having issues can't be judged based on the information given, but it's possible that it plays a part in his absence. It seems like the most likely possibility to me, though. Fiddleford doesn't seem the type to just forget about something like that, especially exhibiting such a friendly and kind demeanor, so I'm willing to bet they were already having problems.

Ford, as I see it, very rarely goes out of his way to do things for Fiddleford, though. However, I will give him props for being good enough to cheer Fiddleford up after he returns from his family.

What I will say, is that Ford relies on Fiddleford a great deal, and I'm not entirely sure how healthy that is. Fiddleford is Ford's ONLY real friend, and definitely the only one not feeding him questionable advice.

Therapy.

3 || CUCKOO CLOCK

Therapy, right? Yeah.

Anyway, Bill REALLY gets after Ford when the whole portal thing goes south. And that's sure to be a hell of a time. Ford is put through immense pain physically and mentally during it all, and wow does it actually sound horrifying. Even during this aggressive and desperate scramble to get Ford to do his bidding, Bill is beating Ford down and trying his best to use his hardships against him while also trying to convince Ford that he needs Bill. He's got nobody else.

He tries everything: sabotage, threats, you name it. Even though Ford doesn't realize his wrongs entirely here, he still knows he has to do something to rectify all that he's done. And boy, does he wanna kill that triangle.

He even loses his mind just a little bit more about this time, grasping at straws and realizing how bad he fucked up.

But now, we skip ahead. Things are better. All that's passed.

The ending of this book was about as satisfying as I imagined it would be. The Pines family. Simple and clean. A thoughtful message from Ford, and some inserts from Mabel, Dipper, and Stan. Stan's message is probably my favorite, and rightfully so.

These four are what it's all about to me. Each sibling has the other, and they're all happy. Bill can't touch them anymore, no matter how much this book of his tries. They're smarter than he is, and it's because they don't intend to be divided by him ever again.

[echobx]

soulmates 3 - jj maybank x fem!reader

summary: y/n makes a new friend and meets JJ's friends for the first time, but things don't go quite as she thought

warnings: hurt with little comfort, screaming, fluff, making out

word count: 2k

author's note: it was actually pretty painful writing this but I persevered

masterlist part 2

Walking through the halls of the Kook Academy felt different now. You felt like you didn't belong anymore, like everyone hated you. Kelce avoided looking at you and so did everyone who you had called your friend just a day before.  You didn't know what he had told them, and it didn't matter anymore. The only one who didn't seem fond of how you were treated was Topper, but he didn't make a move to help you either.  Lunch break had never been worse, and you were inclined to fill your mind with JJ, but you didn't want to bother him either. 

“Is that seat taken?” A sweet voice came to you as you sat in your geometry class. You looked up and were greeted by a gentle smile from none other than Sarah Cameron.  “Uh, no, it's yours if you want it,” you replied with a raspy voice, your throat was dry because you hadn't said a single word all day. She sat down in the seat that had usually held Kelce, but now you were on your own.  “Kelce is an asshole. He never deserved you anyway,” she whispered to you, and you looked a bit baffled.  “What?” you gasped quietly.  “You broke up with him, right? I mean, he's telling everyone that he did it, but let's be honest,” she chuckled, and you felt a bit better. She spent the whole lesson chit-chatting with you without the teacher noticing. 

As soon as the lesson was over you walked to your locker, and she followed you.  ‘Thank you,’ you thought and hoped that JJ would reply.  ‘For what?’ he asked.  ‘Sarah,’ you told him while smiling at her as she kept talking about something that had to do with a surf date later that day.  ‘I didn't talk to her,’ he said, and it confused you a bit, a bit too much actually because she stopped talking and just took your hand.  “Topper told me, he thought you needed a friend,” she admitted, and you felt so stupid for thinking that JJ would have talked to her about it.  “Oh,” you exclaimed quietly and clawed at your books.  “He didn't tell me who though, I think that would have been too personal anyway.” She smiled and you nodded.  ‘She doesn't know it's you,’ you let your mind slip back to him, but he didn't answer. “He scared me last night, Kelce. I've never been scared of him before,” you admitted and she just hugged you.  “I'm sorry you had to go through that,” she mumbled into your hair.  “Me too,” you hushed and held onto her. 

The last lesson of the day went by in a heartbeat, and you were walking out of the building, Sarah holding onto your arm and both of you laughing over something your French teacher had said.  ‘I guess that's called a hard launch,’ JJ chuckled, and you scanned the yard in front of the school until your eyes got stuck on him, leaning against his motorcycle. Your heart started racing, and you had a hard time not running over to him instantly.  “JJ? What are you doing here?” Sarah asked him as you walked over to him and you bit your lip. His blue eyes jumped in between the two of you and his mind was truly empty.  ‘Say something,’ you urged him and his eyes got stuck on you.  “I only have one seat left,” he mumbled.  “I see,” Sarah chuckled and let go of you. “You two have fun, but not too much,” she said and walked away.  “I've never ridden on a motorcycle,” you hushed, and a smile came to his lips.  “There's a first time for everything,” he replied just as quietly. 

JJ helped you put on the helmet and explained to you how to sit before you got on behind him, and he started driving.  Your arms were wrapped around him as he raced towards the Southside.  ‘Where are you taking me?’ you asked as he kept driving.  ‘Hard launching seems to work better than I expected,’ he answered and turned left down a path and stopped in front of a house, the yard to which was the same as the one you had seen in his memory.  “Welcome to the Château,” JJ told you after helping you take off the helmet. You weren't sure if all the nervousness you felt was your own but a mix of the both of yours.  JJ walked you around, showed you the house and every little nook, telling stories and letting his memories slip until you felt like you had spent your whole life at the small house. Your fingers intertwined the entire time as if you had always done it and not just started. 

The sound of a car approaching made you jump and JJ chuckled.  ‘It’s gonna be okay,’ he promised you as you walked outside, to meet his friends, the people who felt like family to him, for the first time.  You were incredibly scared of what they would think but then the curly haired boy, John B, came walking straight up to you and embraced you in a hug.  “Welcome to the family, y/n.” He smiled at you and you were relieved.  Sarah winked at you and the other boy greeted you with a smile. A girl you had never seen before, not even in JJ's memories, was standing by his side and smiled at you. The only one who wasn't happy about it was Kiara.  You felt her eyes piercing you and what was even worse was how nervous JJ got, worse than before. 

She looked at him and back down at you before turning around and walking away.  “Kie,” JJ called after her and you could feel how much it hurt him to see her walk away.  “I'll talk to her,” Sarah said and followed the girl. You didn't know what had happened between JJ and Kiara, but it didn't feel nice, in a way it felt worse than what you had to deal with when it had come to Kelce.  “She'll have to live with it,” John B sighed. JJ shot him an angry glare before he let go of your hand and walked after Kiara and Sarah.  ‘I didn't mean for this, I'm sorry,’ he apologized without turning around, and you tried to smile at John B who put his arm around you and guided you back inside. 

“Tell me, y/n, how exactly did it happen?” JB asked, but your mind was completely occupied by the turmoil in JJ's head and heart. You hadn't even stopped to think if he had someone who could get hurt. You had only focused on your own pain, and he had stood by you instead of focusing on his own problems with it.  “She's gonna be okay,” Pope assured you, and you looked at him a bit confused. Were you that easy to read?  “I was out for lunch with my- I mean, with Kelce,” you corrected yourself and gave them the shortest recap of all of it.  “Sounds a bit too familiar,” John B laughed.  “Were they together?” You looked at him in the hopes he would give you the answers that JJ was denying you at that moment.  “On-off kinda thing,” Cleo answered, and you fell down on the couch.  “I see,” you sighed and felt like crying.  “It's not your fault,” John B took your hand after sitting down by your side.  ‘Not our fault.’ You kept repeating in your mind and hoped he would listen. 

“Why did you even bring her here!” You could hear Kiara scream outside.  “I don't have a choice, Kie,” JJ pleaded with her, and it felt like his heart was breaking. You clawed at the pain in your chest and got up.  “I should go home,” you mumbled and walked outside, trying to leave but the two of them were blocking the porch door, and you didn't know where the main door of the house was located.  Her eyes fell on you and she scoffed. “Did you even tell her? Of course, you didn't.”  “Kie, please,” JJ was nearly begging.  “Two days ago you told me you didn't care, you said you wouldn't fall for it even if it did happen. You said you loved me!” she screamed at him and I didn't know how he was still standing upright with the amount of pain that flooded through him. “I'm sorry,” you apologized quietly before pushing past her and walking away, away from the house, from JJ, from what you had hoped would be your future. 

You didn't blame him for not running after you, he had to deal with a mess that you had started because you had thought of him in the first place.  “It's not your fault.” John B's words echoed through your mind as you tried to blend out the pain. You took out your phone and called an Uber to drive you home, not wanting to inconvenience anyone else.  When you got home you fell into your bed and cried through the pain until you fell asleep. Your dreams showed you how much more it would've hurt if he had done what he had promised Kiara. 

You were woken up by a light knock on your door. “Dinner is ready, y/n,” your dad called and you groaned.  The pain was gone, but instead you felt empty, as if someone had cut your heart out. Having to get up and drag yourself to the table to eat just a tiny bit was harder than you had expected.  Your parents seemed concerned, but they didn't say anything, so you just sat in silence while trying to get at least a quarter of your dinner down. It was too silent in your mind, way too silent, but no matter how much you tried to reach out, he wouldn't respond. As a last effort of getting his attention you told him your address, but yet again, no reply. 

You went back to bed and slept until midday; not caring about school or what anyone might think of you for rather curling up in yourself than going out and parading around how lucky you could be to have found your soulmate like other people did.  It took you two days to leave your bed another time and a third until you could feel him again, still broken but less so than before. On the fourth day your parents got concerned. Yet they still didn't want to get involved, but at least you started to move again.  Five days, that's how long it took for him to find the words to speak to you. 

‘Can I come by?’ he asked gently and ten minutes after you had agreed to it, he knocked on your door, falling into your arms as soon as the door was opened.  “I'm sorry,” he mumbled while holding onto you.  It overwhelmed you to suddenly be allowed back into his head, you hadn't understood how he had even managed to lock you out of it. “Not your fault,” you mumbled.  “It is. I should've told her the moment I found you, but I was too occupied with figuring this out, with helping you,” he said, and you felt guilty because of it.  “My fault,” you mumbled and pulled yourself away.  “No,” he shook his head and took your face into his hands. “None of this is your fault, especially not this.”  You looked up at him and took a deep breath before closing your eyes and focusing only on how happy you had been that first day with him.  ‘Please don't lock me out again,’ you begged silently, and then his forehead met yours.  ‘Never again,’ he promised before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. It felt like the only kiss ever, like your entire life depended on it.  And then, with every kiss that followed he let more and more of his guard down, until there was nothing left, no more hiding.  There was no question if you loved each other because it was a simple fact. You didn't have to think about it in the same way you didn't have to remind your body to pump blood through it.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

part 4

[xaeethebaee]

baji nsfw hcs? I love urs they’re so funny 😭💗

MINORS! DNI! 18+ FOLKS ONLY!

Thank you so much for being my very first request! I'll try my absolute best to not disappoint, Anon Love!

What's it like to date Baji Keisuke? This Headcanon obviously will contain some NSFW material, fluff, and a little bit of angst.

Warnings: Mean Dom Baji, subreader, very mild blood play, nonconsensual video sharing, and a very subtle hint at sadism

A/n: I know there are a million of these, so hopefully this gives a different take. Also please keep in mind that this is strictly referring to ADULT KEISUKE BAJI!

Let's start with the fluffy parts of your relationship with him!

He’s not very affectionate at first as the most you'll get out of him is hand-holding and maybe brief hugs here and there

He does show other ways of showing his affection for you like randomly kissing your forehead, biting your hand as he holds it, and calling you a cute pet name - Kitten (though it's not always used in a cute way)

He also bites you to mark territory, so he is somewhat possessive

PLEASE play in his hair since your touches are gentle and relaxing to him. It's also the best way to put him to sleep!

Just let him rest his head on your lap and he'll be dozing off in minutes!

It's extra special knowing you are the only person who he'll allow to touch his hair

Style it if you'd like too and he won't mind going to Toman meetings with that hairstyle because everyone knows not to tease him for it. It's also because it is one of his ways of showing everyone who he belongs to.

He does sometimes struggle with having a conversation with you because he does not want to frighten you. That means he tends to avoid talking about his gang-related activities though, it does not stop him from showing up at your place in need of some first aid.

He is the most vulnerable during those moments too. In fact, it is the only time he tells you how much he loves you

It goes without saying that Baji is VERY protective of you

You're never allowed to walk alone at night and go to unfamiliar places. He is either walking with you or he has Chifuyu or Kazutora to accompany you (I'm going to do a headcanon of how the rest of Toman and Baji's mom treats you as his gf in a different post since there is so much to talk about)

Circling back to the biting thing, you two get playful with each other. Wave your finger in his face and he will playfully bite at it.

Baji gives you enough time to move your finger however the times when he does bite it (thankfully not hard enough to hurt) he won't let go

Once you do free your finger from his teeth, he will present the most adorable pout. That moment makes Baji fall in love with you all over again when he sees you smile because of your cute moment with him

You two can keep doing that for over an hour and it still won't get boring

Here are a few not-so-fun aspects of being Baji's girlfriend

He. Wins. EVERY. SINGLE. ARGUMENT!

it does not matter what you two were arguing about, he wins every time because he gets so terrifying (mf has anger issues after all)

Baji can be demanding sometimes whether it is intentional or not.

he has a very bad habit of not saying 'please' or 'thank you' when he asks you to do something for him

prepare for random impulsive actions from him. Most of the time, it is funny but the few times when it is not is because someone got hurt

He's a thieving pyromaniac. Basically, he sometimes steals your things and burns them for no apparent reason.

Usually, he is perceptive enough to tell which of your items you no longer need or use but it is still a mild annoyance

On to what y'all really want to see: the NSFW material!

Remember the pet name, Kitten? There are times when he uses the pet name in a more predatory manner

when he is horny, he basically will see you as his prey that he can devour so he will typically use it before or during sex

it doesn't matter what time of day it is, Baji will send you dirty messages when he feels like it

Baji: send me a pic of ur tits

You: My day has been going well. Thanks for asking.

Baji: then I'll fuck u violently ❤

Baji definitely has a size kink

he knows he is not the tallest however he also knows that he exudes an intimidating aura. That aura makes you feel small (even if you're taller than him) He loves to see the effect his aura has on you. (cheeky bastard)

He ALWAYS initiates sex

You know when he is in the mood because he touches your thighs more. Also, sometimes he'll just blurt out: "I wanna fuck."

don't worry because Baji is typically in the mood when you are as well

MEAN DOM!

those backshots are RUTHLESS!

when in missionary, he does have his hand over your neck and he squeezes it (though you'll still be able to breathe normally)

Despite being a mean dom, Baji does prioritize your satisfaction, so he is a Mean Service Dom lol

he takes eating you out very seriously to the point where his hair is tied into a ponytail before he goes down

those tongue strokes get your legs shaking every time. Yes, he makes you squirt too but don't think that is going to make him stop

the guy LOVES to overstimulate you sometimes

Giving him head is messy because the dude has a very peculiar habit of bucking his hips so he goes deeper down your throat. He may be a slight sadist because he likes watching you choke harder on his length

Don't forget, he's still a BITER during sex too so expect those fangs going in the skin of your neck and shoulders. Sometimes, he draws blood but it is always an accident. He'll lick the blood off though

Baji can last a while during sex but once he cums, he's done (obviously he will make sure you are thoroughly satisfied too)

estimate between 30 minutes to an hour (including foreplay)

As rough as he is, he can also be just as gentle. Sometimes, he just needs slow and romantic love-making, and generally, that happens after you've been such a good partner to him

He does record part of your sessions (with your permission of course) and it is mostly when he is fucking you from behind

He will never share it with anyone (except for Mitsuya and don't ask why and you don't know about that 🥴)

he keeps the recording in his phone for 'self-service' reasons

His aftercare is getting better with time

at first, all you got was a half-assed swipe from a towel but now you're starting to get the princess treatment by being carried to the bathroom. Though he will forget you are bathing and he goes to sleep, so you're just left in the warm bath water waiting for Baji to help you out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[I hope you Lovelies enjoyed. I really tried my best to bring a different take to Baji. Fun fact, (like so many people) I started watching Tokyo Revengers for Baji! Somehow, I ended up simping for Shinichiro of all people lol.]

[Requests are always open. My only thing is that I won't accept requests for any Non-Con/R scenes and scenarios.]

[notmorbid]

their vicious games.

dialogue prompts from their vicious games by joelle wellington.

life has never felt like a game to me.

stand up straight, honey.

there's no place for me here. there never was.

i've got to look better than 'nice'.

no wonder they're secretly terrified of you.

you don't have to prove anything to everyone.

you always make me feel like i'm the main character in a movie.

with knowledge comes the responsibility to know when to keep your mouth shut.

rich people aren't weirdos, they're 'eccentric'.

i don't believe in fate. not for people like me.

everything is going to change, but maybe it should.

you have a smart mouth. i like that.

i can't believe you showed your face here.

what makes you think that there are no rules?

all i want is for you to do better than i did.

if you open the box, there's no turning back.

you pretend you have nothing to say, but i can tell you do.

i know i don't belong, but it only makes me want it more.

i could be convinced with a well-structured argument.

why are you apologizing for ___?

it's fine. i'm fine. i just need to breathe.

you'll never be one of us, and you shouldn't want to be.

getting them before they get you is the only way to win.

what is going on? no talking around the real answer. tell me the truth.

i suspected, but i didn't know. not for sure.

i have to disappear myself.

god, this house is creepy.

will you trust me to help you?

i could have made you prouder. i should have made you prouder.

you look different without your makeup.

get a fucking grip. this isn't a period drama.

you're an adult now. you can pick your own friends.

fearful people make boring conversationalists.

what do you like to eat?

i worry you won't recognize me when i get out.

there are so few secrets when one revels in their own wickedness.

the trick about lying is that you have to believe yourself, for anyone else to believe you.

there is nothing worse than a boy who is lovely and knows it.

i'd do anything for you. be anything for you.

when has a girl ever been allowed to want?

if you don't stop it, you're endorsing it.

there's something different about you.

integrity doesn't mean much to the dead.

it's been so long since i felt anything but afraid.

you strike me as sneaky.

you think you have me figured out yet?

i don't remember it, but the body keeps the score, right?

there are no girls like me. there is only me.

i'd rather you hate me than you be dead.

are you ready to behave?

you are playing a dangerous game, and you will lose.

i am not one to be vexed. people get hurt when i am.

don't get soft on me now.

you're wearing boat shoes? unironically?

you don't get to walk away from me.

why do i take up so much space in your head? i'm practically living there rent-free.

i've got your back. do you have mine?

we are long past sense. sense doesn't belong here.

how do you think i'm feeling?

you're just like your father in a different font.

i've seen enough. i've heard enough. i've had enough.

my loyalty is to ____ alone.

i don't want to hurt you.

why can't you just leave me alone?

i saved you because you weren't going to save yourself.

it's all so easy for you, isn't it?

if you're not going to stop bad things from happening, have the decency to watch. eyes open.

i could love you. i know i could.

your room looks like you.

you were always so disappointing.

i won't leave you until i have to.

____ would want more for you.

stop throwing yourself in front of projectile objects for me.

i'm pretty sure if we survive this, i'm going to have a goddamn concussion.

i'm not the villain of your story.

i don't think i'll ever be sure of anything again.

even my eyes have betrayed me over and over again.

is that what you think of me?

i think that you ruin everything you touch. you want to devour everything you see.

i'm still here.

i didn't know you could cook.

are you sure you don't want to do anything different?

you're the only person who understands.

i never want to forget about you.

don't touch my shit.

i don't know if i'll ever be okay.

there will always be someone new to become.

[rosazoldyckk]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐗 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⚠️TW⚠️ Mentions of the reader thinking they are useless and unworthy, reader pretty much hating on themselves.

PS: YOU ARE WORTHY!! You are awesome asf so please don't let this fanfic trigger any negative thoughts! you are worthy, capable and fucking spectacular and pls don't forget that!! Love you sm ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

1095 words

You had no one before him. Everyone else had left you. Eventually you gave up in trying to convince them to stay. Nobody tried approaching you due to your closed off nature. No one but him. Chrollo Lucilfer, the head of the infamous phantom troupe, or Chrollo as he likes you to call him.

You knew something was off about him, but you didn't care, because he was the only one who was willing to get to know you and stayed after finding out more about you. Even if what he did was somehow considered borderline stalking. You didn't give a damn. It was nice having someone try for you, after so long of no one trying.

You don't deserve him.

Soon afterwards he convinced you to move in with him, which you agreed to. Ever since then your daily life has been confined to his estate. You didn't mind of course; you were glad someone cared enough for you. But also, guilty. He shouldn't love someone like you. Someone so horrible and disgusting. Someone who could barely do anything right.

You don't deserve him.

You wish you could do something to repay all he's done for you. But surely you would just mess it up like you do with everything else. You don't want to be more of an inconvenience than you already are. Why didn't he pick someone else? Someone much more talented or prettier than you? Surely, he could do better. It still confuses you to this day.

You don't deserve him.

You feel weak. You wanted to believe him, but you couldn't. You truly were a terrible person. But you couldn't help but continue to be suspicious of his intentions. What if he runs away from you after realising how horrible you are? What happens then? You'll have no one. You need him. You pray to all the God's imaginable that he'll never realise how ugly and useless you truly are inside. Maybe he already knows and is toying with you? Your mind keeps swirling with all these terrifying thoughts, making you want to bite your fingers off with fear in case any of it turned out to be true.

You don't deserve him.

You feel tears stream down your face. You try your best not to let out any noise. Even if no one is home. It hurts so much. Why did you have to burden everyone with your existence? The hate red you had for yourself was immense. Tears continued streaming down as you wiped your nose. You hated this. This lonely, suffocating feeling but you were always too scared to reach out. You wanted him to be here, holding you tightly in his warm embrace as he allowed you to cry into the fur of his coat, whispering sweet words of kindness into your ear. It was a selfish wish you know but you can't help it. You wanted him to bruise you with his kisses, to be lacerated open and stitched together, sharing both blood and skin. You wanted to lock your lips to his with no intention of breaking from one another. You continued crying. You longed to sink into the endless depths of hell with him if it meant you could belong to him in peace, but what God thought thought you were deserving of something so blissful?

Out of nowhere you feel a pair of familiar arms wrap around you.

"I'm sorry I took so long, my love. Now tell me, why are you crying?"

You back away, trying to escape. But his grip was firm. It felt like you would never leave his embrace.

"I don't deserve you... Why are you doing this!?"

"Hmm, because I love you. And of course, you deserve me. My standards are high, but regardless you are the one that I love."

"But I'm worthless! Someone as useless as me doesn't deserve to be worthy of your time! Please Chrollo...don't burden yourself with me..."

"I'll tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me. You're none of these things your mind tells you. You are mine and I love you." He hugged you tighter, placing a firm kiss on your temple. "Even if others may think that. I will never. I promise."

You just sat there in his arms processing everything. You never knew how to respond to him. He's always so kind around you.

"But surely you could find someone better than me. I'm sure of it. One day you'll find someone who can give you everything I could only dream of giving to you." You sniffled, trying to hold back the tears.

"Even if I did, I would still choose you. No matter what. Because you are the one that I love."

"Are you sure? You aren't lying, are you Chrollo? Please promise me?"

"I promise you from the bottom of my heart. I would never lie to you." He paused for a second. "Come on my love, it's getting late. Let's get you to bed."

"Okay..."

He stopped hugging you and took your hand. He led you to your shared room. His hand were always so warm and comforting. He led you into bed, and you two just held each other, resting your head on the crook of his neck as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

"You are the beginning and end of who I am. You are everything I could ever care for and more. I'll rip my own veins out before I can love another. I'll praise every hair on your head, every breath you take, every glance you give my way. I'll never allow you to feel worthless again, love. You are my salvation. Your voice is my mantra, Your body is my church. I abandoned the faith of God a long time ago, but if it meant I could forever keep you close within arms reach, then I'll cry my prayers to the heavens for all to hear. Because I want you. I need you."

You really don't deserve him, but maybe for tonight you will allow yourself to believe. Allow yourself to hope that maybe you are worthy of him. Even if it's for a short time. You are at peace.

[roleplay-evil]

Resident Evil 7 Biohazard Starters

"You know what they say—once family, always family."

"You're part of the family now."

"Welcome to the family, [name]."

"That's family business, [name], and not your concern, understand?"

"This is my home. Apparently, I belong here."

"So, why are we in hell this time?"

"They're relying on me. Everyone is relying on me. Everyone!"

"You don't exactly seem like you're playing with a full deck yourself."

"Goddamnit, how am I gonna replace this?"

"Ah, shit! I knew I shouldn't have worn my good shoes."

"You came to the wrong house, [name]."

"I told you to stay out of here."

"Alright, new deal. We-we find [name] and we go."

"You, my friend, you are one lucky son of a bitch."

"I'm sorry... but they're, uh, they're dead now."

"Yeah, it is your fault. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you die."

"You kill me, and I just come right on back!"

"I'm going to enjoy watching you die."

"Motherfucker! You were supposed to die!"

"Sure as shit beats the hell outta dying."

"Idiot—you can't kill me."

"Do me a favor and stay dead."

"Leave me to die!"

"Forget that you ever knew me."

"Come on—don't you die on us now. You have work to do."

"You don't understand or is it that you just don't care?"

"Don't worry, I'm still here."

"Now, we got several calls about some missing persons lately."

"[name]! Thank god I found you. It's me. It's [name]!"

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead! It's time for supper."

"Glad I had my shots."

"You better now?"

"Well, come on. Take a chance. You never know."

"That is not groovy."

"What the fuck? That's special."

"You can't hide from me, [name]!"

"Don't you go anywhere!"

"Alright, you little cocksucker, let's get down to business!"

"I know you and [name] are plotting. I know you are scheming."

"Where'd you get yourself to, hm? Where are you?!"

"Thought you'd just slip out before dinner was done?"

"It won't be long before I find you and kill you."

"I'm gonna squash you like a bug."

"You think you can hurt me?"

"You're going to wish you'd never been born."

"I'm gonna take you for a ride!"

"This is going to be fun. Just you wait."

"You're gonna die in this hole and you're gonna like it!"

"Fuck it! I'm gonna kill every one of you."

"I will find them and I will make them suffer."

"You better start running, [name]!"

"They're dead! They're all dead!"

"I can't let [name] catch me again!"

"What's wrong? Step on it!"

"You're the first I've ever seen make it this far."

"Gotta say, I'm impressed. Not only are you still alive, you have all your fingers and toes."

"You're gonna have to do better than that, [name]."

"You're wasting your time."

"Here I come."

"You need to go. I won't be able to resist for much longer."

"You gotta give me your gun!"

"Oh! Good news! I'm going to be coming home soon! Yay!"

"Who the hell else was I gonna choose?"

"Are you having fun yet?"

"You got yourself a booboo?"

"I told you, don't you fuck with me."

"Not now. We need to get out of here first."

"You were right. I did lie to you."

"You gotta earn your way, [name]!"

"What is this place? What did they do to you?"

"There's another door here. I'm sure of it."

"You're a son of a bitch!"

"Now look what you've done, motherfucker!"

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

"Kiss my ass."

"Dumb son of bitch wouldn't know good if it hit them!"

"Goddamnit! I bet it's that cop again..."

"I only work with professionals."

"I'm an old man, [name]. You can't take on an old man?"

"Hey! One of those is mine."

"Why are you putting me through this?"

"Well, don't just stand there—do something!"

"I know I can't expect anything from you. Not after what happened. After what I did."

"I am sick and tired over being sick and tired of your bullshit."

"I'm tired of waiting."

"It has taken me weeks to finish this, and it is finally ready." And it's all for you."

"What the fuck are you, [name]?"

"I got the gift running all through me! All through me!"

"I don't understand you at all. This is a gift."

"There are known unknowns here, and you are not paying fucking attention!"

"Do I have your attention, [name]? You're about to see something wonderful."

"We love you... Why can't you see that?!"

"Why does everyone hate me?"

"You see, [name], not everybody wants to turn back the clock."

"This joy? Why, you can't fake this."

[softspeirs]

These Heartbeats Clear (6): Rosie Rosenthal x OC

A/N: This is quite a bit shorter than the other parts, but I thought it deserved its own time to shine. I hope you enjoy this part, Rosie lovers. It's been one of my favorites to write. These Heartbeats Clear Masterlist

Six. Confession.

They land back at Thorpe Abbotts in the mid-afternoon. His breath rattles in his lungs, post-mission adrenaline making him feel twitchy and on edge.

He wants a nap, and he wants a cup of coffee.

Mostly, he just wants to talk to Grace.

He's been too in his own head to seek her out since their disagreement two days prior. He misses her with an ache he has never felt, one that leaves him rubbing at the spot over his heart like it's a physical wound.

After interrogation, he doesn't even stop to change out of his flight suit - he just turns in whatever gear doesn't belong to him, and then gets the hell out of dodge. He has too much nervous energy, too much adrenaline to go to the mess, or catch up with any of his guys.

He changes course, heads back towards his plane.

On the hardstand, his heart kicks into high gear when he sees a familiar form standing there, arms crossed over her chest, assessing his plane.

Her hair is falling out of its pins, and he knows he must look the same - she's never seen him directly after a mission except for once when Pappy had to go to the hospital, and he's strangely self conscious about his wild hair and the sweat drying at his temples. The smell of cordite is still thick in the air near his plane.

"What are you doing out here?" His voice sounds rough even to his own ears. He didn't think she'd be here.

She turns around, and he can see the tears in her eyes from paces away, and it startles him into action. "Grace." He says, worried.

"I thought-- someone said they saw flares, and I couldn't find you, you weren't in the hospital--"

He shakes his head, hands on her shoulders to try to get her to meet his eyes. "I'm fine, we're-- we had two wounded men, but it wasn't serious."

Her eyes are wide and wild as she looks up at him, cataloging for herself that he's intact. It's caught him completely off guard to be the sole focus of her attention like this.

She said she wasn't angry with him a few days ago during their argument, but he didn't really believe her. Couldn't figure out why she'd walk away from him if that were the case. But she's here, and that's got to be a sign, right?

She takes an enormous, steadying breath. "I'm sorry." She says on an exhale, the words washing over him.

"What?"

"I-- I made you upset, the other day. I'm sorry. I was too pushy. Too-- Everyone's always telling me that I can be too much sometimes."

"Everyone is wrong," he says vehemently. "You're not too much. And you don't owe me an apology."

Her words had hurt, yes, but they were also a wake-up call. She had been frustrated with him because he wouldn't let her in, and he's not going to make that mistake a second time. If there's anyone on earth that he's going to bare his soul to, it's going to be Grace Fleming. It's a foregone conclusion, already written in ink since the second he first met her, pristine in her nurse's uniform and sparkling eyes the day he arrived from the States with his unit and she had to declare them fit for duty.

He had felt it then, the electric current that ran between them with only a gaze, and it only got stronger the longer he spent getting to know her. Sometimes he feels like she's the only person on earth who understands him, so when she suddenly didn't -- that's what made him upset. Not that she was pushing him to be honest, be vulnerable, to let her in.

"I'm the one who's sorry." He says, voice cracking. "Grace, I have no idea how to do this." He can't look at her. He does a good job hiding it, but some days he feels unbearably unworthy of praise, hers or anyone else's. He feels shy, especially under her gaze. "I have to stay in a rhythm, you know? And if I let myself dwell on things in the past that I can't fix, I won't be able to keep going up there."

"I thought you died today." She croaks.

He takes a step closer. The tips of their shoes bump.

"I didn't."

"I know. I have faith in you, Rosie. Please don't ever doubt that. I want you to be safe. That’s all I can think about some days, and I never want you to feel like you have to keep all your feelings inside. Not with me.”

“I know.” His hand finds the side of her face, fingers grazing the shell of her ear, making sure she meets his eyes. “And I trust you to keep me safe, more than anyone else.”

“Up here too, right?” She asks, tapping his forehead in an echo of their previous conversation.

His conviction has never been a problem before - he's lucky that he's always been sure of his reasoning behind the choices he makes. He saw an injustice happening, and was determined to help stop it. When he became a lawyer, he wanted to help people.

So why is he so damned scared to make this one choice, even when he's sure of how he feels?

Looking in her eyes, he's starting to realize that this is what a good partnership is. Despite their disagreement, she was still here, still checking on him the way she always did.

Maybe nothing about that would change, even if he lets her in on that niggling voice in the back of his mind that makes him doubt himself. Even if he shows her that shy side of himself that people so rarely see.

And maybe that's how it is when you fall in love with someone - you trust them to catch you when it happens.

Mind made up, he leans in so there are only a few inches separating them. “Please let me kiss you.” His voice is so hoarse it's barely a whisper.

She nods, and before she can say another word, he surges forward, the frenetic energy of the day leaving him as soon as their bodies connect.

Her touch is a soothing balm, her heartbeat under his hand on the side of her neck a reminder that they’re both here and alive.

This quiet moment between them feels like a universe away from everything and everyone else, and when she sighs into his mouth, Rosie knows right then and there that he’s done for.

When they break apart, they’re both panting, her hands so tight on his lapels he can’t move an inch even if he wanted to.

“I’m crazy about you.” His voice is low and rough with intensity.

She laughs, a breathless thing that he feels all the way to the tips of his toes. “I just adore you, Robert Rosenthal.”

His grin is wide as he leans back in, their noses brushing. They just linger there in the in between, basking in this newfound intimacy between them.

He has half a mind to remember that they're on the hardstand where anyone could see, but he also wonders if at this point anyone would care. They're all doing what they need to do to get through this war, and it's not uncommon to turn a corner in the darkened light of the evening and find a couple trying to salvage any kind of romance.

Still, she's just been promoted, and so with regret, he takes a step back from her, his fingertips grazing hers. "Can I take you to dinner?" He asks.

"Please."

They just end up in the officer's mess, the only place they can get to before dinner is over, but it's fine because it's them. No one raises an eyebrow or makes any suggestive comments. They don't touch, but a new awareness has sparked between them that Rosie can't get enough of. He's felt it for weeks, but now he knows it's mutual, and that feeling is a heady one.

They talk. Well, he talks. He's as honest with her as he can be about where his mind is. They talk about home. They talk about work. They talk about what it'll be like when this is all over.

Afterwards, he feels so stupid that he hadn't trusted himself to let go like this with her before. It could have saved two days worth of missing her, but then again, it lead them to right here, right now.

He walks her to the nurses hut as the sun is setting. Satisfied no one is around, he kisses her goodnight just as the field beyond them drifts into a dreamy twilight.

He flies again the next day, but this time the anxiety it normally causes is absent as he climbs into his rack later that night, the memory of the feeling of her finally in his arms sending him into a dreamless sleep.