#it is so fucking good and i mean this wholly genuinely (<- actually really likes infinitesonicforces; song and character)

[trainingdummyrabbit]

i cant even hey dont cry this one. you want a mashup of infinite sonicforces and several linkinpark songs? yeah you do. here you go

[popponn]

idk if you accept requests but i badly want to read the blue lock boys with the orange peel theory going around on tiktok 🥹

notes: anon, i was in a slump and then you come with this, please know i cant get it out of my mine for 2 whole nights. so, please have this, i hope u will enjoy it & your fave is there. also shoutout to @doobea for helping me with rin & barou esp <3 aso for standing my yappings. warning: none, post canon au in mind, reader's gender unspecified.

character: isagi, kaiser, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, rin, sae, barou + bonus

isagi

sweet boy will do it with a smile. is not the tidiest but you can now eat your orange while sharing with him. has a vibe that he is sort of used to doing this somehow. a total win still. if you do the same for him he will get flustered. also asking this is one of the quickest ways to get mr. egoist switches to mr. sweetheart boyfriend.

“Eh, why are peeling one too? I already… for me…?…I, uh—I see. Thanks… I—I am… give me a second.”

kaiser

you are the one who will peel for him—unless you throw a fuss and give him a silent treatment because this guy's pride is no joke. he can, he just doesn't want to. but to appease you and gain back his rightful spoiling, he will. afterward, at least, he learns his lesson and when you are about to peel one yourself, will take it and peel it beautifully for you like a second nature.

“…the fuck are you staring at? Just take it. You are about to eat it anyway, right? Then what's the big deal?”

bachira

yes, he will no question asked but is it worth it. probably will make a mess out of his energy. you will be laughing along with him somehow though so it is worth it. having the sunshine doing anything in front of you is a guaranteed smile-inducing routine. as for the orange, please do switch to other alternatives, for example: kisses, as suggested by him.

“Isn't this better than orange? Huum, huum! More healthy, sweeter too, right? Another one?”

chigiri

depending on his mood, you will either get a very cute orange peel or a half-peeled orange (at best) you have to finish peeling yourself. on the former, you get a smug bf who will feed you like it's a pocky stick. on the latter, you better be the one feeding him while hugging and cuddling him. multitask somehow. also, give him kisses because he is called a ‘princess’ for a reason.

“Ah, being in your arms being fed like this… yeah, yeah. I know don't worry. I will repay the favor.”

nagi

realistically, you will be the one peeling it for him and forcing him to eat one. because why would he even touch one? he is too lazy for that, nothing personal. but, let's say he really, really loves you: he still won't, he will just give you orange-flavored jelly in replacement. it does come from a place of love though, he genuinely thinks it's less troublesome to eat and, hence: better.

“Eating that is troublesome. It taste the same too. We can also do it while kissing. Mouth to mouth. Better right?”

reo

normally, will get a servant to peel it for you and him. though: can he do it? will he do it if it must be him? no question asked, absolutely will, all while chatting and staring at you with so much love. totally mr. k-drama male lead. you and your premium orange are in good hands.

“Oh, man, you are sometimes really …huh? Nah, I mean, I like doing this. It's just now I feel like I have to do this every time, so… yeah.”

rin

the first time, he will click his tongue and mess up. he will crush the orange. better never speak of it again, just know he loves you wholly despite everything. then a week passes and suddenly you will get a professional competitive orange peeler part-timer. without asking. just eat your orange. unless you are sick of it or it makes you actually sick.

“Did the orange taste good? … good. Nothing. You just look… nevermind. Do you want another one?”

sae

will he or will you. realistically, no? there are two possible reasons: 1) he can't. his whole stat is in soccer. 2) “you can't?” aka is it worth it getting judged by him. in case #2 though, just act cute and aim for his soft spot for you, he will fold and peel it with you pressed to his arm. he will grumble or glare but that's just itoshi-esque tsundere.

“You can't do something like this yourself? This will be the only time I’m doing this… Also who told you to move away?”

barou

our king. will peel the skin and the white fiber for you. tidy peels and if you know your way around his heart—you do just smile or blink and he is gone—he will also feed you. 10/10 execution no notes. probably will do this in kotatsu, dinner tables, and other domestic settings that are not bed while being a tsundere.

“I’m doing this just so you don't make a mess, got it? Also, scoot closer, your leg is kicking me—what do you mean I’m lying?!”

bonus

kunigami will, both before and after wc because you are his world. the difference would be in his expression only and there is that because his love for you would never change. shidou will but genuinely, please just peel it yourself. aiku will, not without teasing you though. gagamaru will either will or teach you how to eat the skin too. zantetsu wants to do it, but it will be really messy so please just don't. hiori will do it like a sweet boy, but if he is in his sadistic mood he will tease you for a bit before finally feeding you.

[fourmoony]

oh my god. eating the chocolate that makes you really horny with james!!! plslsllslss

thank you for requesting! this is 2.2k words of pure smut. i guess it got away from me? f!reader, mdni

cw: drug use, unprotected sex, cock warming, p in v, cream pie

Your body feels like it's thrumming with energy. Skin tingling, a static in your veins that's making it impossible to sit still. But you try. You really, really try because you refuse to lose. Even if it feels like every minute you're not doing anything about the burning in your veins is a minute closer to death.

It's Sirius' fault, really. He and Remus had thought it was a wholly hilarious idea to bring back a 'special' bar of chocolate from their trip to Amsterdam. Lo and behold, it hadn't been a typical special chocolate bar, but an aphrodisiac one, instead. Ensue a bet about whether or not it actually works and now. Well, now you're eating your entirely too confident words about it being a load of bullshit. You could give in. You could admit defeat because it's not like Sirius and Remus stuck around for long after theirs kicked in.

But it's just you and James in your tiny shared flat and you really don't feel like announcing departure to your room and having him know what you're up to in there. Especially when it doesn't seem to be affecting James the way it's affecting you. His eyes are trained on the television, feet kicked up on the coffee table. He looks normal, unfazed. You try to remember if he even ate any of the chocolate but your brain is too clouded. Too foggy with the feeling of need.

You try to settle, press your thighs together and chance another look at the clock. It's not late enough to claim fatigue. You sigh, resigned to your fate.

James shifts, burrows further into the couch as his head tilts over to look at you. "You okay?" He asks.

His voice sends jolts like pure electricity down your spine. He and the boys had smoked, too, before taking the chocolate. The lazy tilt to his voice reverberates through you until you feel yourself throbbing. "Yeah, all good." You bite out.

You're the furthest thing from all good, in actuality. Sure, you've thought about screwing James before. In passing. He's your roommate, it only takes walking into the bathroom at an inopportune time to supply a weeks worth of seedy dreams that leave you feeling guilty, after. But this is different. You're genuinely concerned that if you don't get James out of your line of sight, now, you're going to proposition him and then you're going to have to move out and never show face again.

Fuck Sirius and his chocolate.

James doesn't say anything for a while. You're not sure if he believes you, by the way his eyes flick over every now and then. His gaze is burning hot, your limbs screaming out for you to move. Everything is too much; the ache, the throbbing, the wetness you can feel pressing against your panties. It only intensifies when, finally, James reaches out. Slowly, softly, fingers encircling the skin of your ankle. He holds for a while, draws lazy circles against the bone until you're practically writhing in your seat. You don'd doubt for a second that he can't hear your shallow breathing, that he doesn't know exactly what he's doing.

Or, maybe, he doesn't. Maybe he's as worked up as you and needs the touch like you do.

The desire grows, the burning grows, angry and unavoidable until you feel the welling of tears in your eyes. It should be embarrassing, should be absolutely mortifying to be crying from James' touch. A touch he gives you so often and never means anything. A touch that usually soothes you.

His eyes flick over once more, catch the tears that slip freely down your cheeks, even as your eyes focus solely on the television. James calls on you, his face soft and filled with pity. He beckons you towards him with a tug on your ankle and you go. No questions. Because it's all too much and you just need it to end.

"Hey," James shushes, ushering you to sit in his lap, warm hands cupping your head as his thumb swipes at your tears. "Whats wrong, angel?"

"It's too much, Jamie." Your voice is weak, shaky. You feel pathetic and needy and the feeling of James' strong thighs underneath you aren't helping.

He brushes the hair from your face gently, runs the pads of his fingers down your bare arms, the skin of your thighs. You shiver under his touch, eyes closing. "Okay, okay," James' voice comes barely above a placating whisper, "I'm gonna make it better, angel. Okay?"

You whine, falling face first into his shoulder, "Please."

He doesn't say anything else as he cants his hips upward. You feel the warmth of his skin against your thighs as he pulls his pyjama bottoms down, the hardness of him when he settles you both back down. The chocolate has clearly affected him, too. It feels better to know, less overwhelming that you're not having some kind of terrible reaction to it.

You clench around nothing at the mere idea of his cock against your thigh. James can't seem to help the way he bucks a few times against your skin, breaths shallow and throaty. His hands on your ass cheeks encourage you up onto your knees, your face still buried in the warmth of his shoulder. You do as he urges, practically scream when you feel James run his head along your soaked slit.

"Shh," James coos, "It's okay. You're okay."

He urges you down his cock slowly, the pressure like nothing you've ever felt before. It keeps going and going until you feel so full you can't breathe, can't move, can't do anything but fist the material of James' sleep shirt and moan brokenly into his shoulder. When you're at the hilt, James' hips cant upwards, the feeling like being hit with a blast of lightening straight from the sky. You cry out, lifting James' shirt until your hands slip underneath, warm skin meeting the blunt edges of your nails. James groans when they dig in.

You try to move your hips, breaths evening out now that the worst of your need is gone. You feel satiated, pacified. You feel stuffed full and deliriously happy. James stops you from moving, though, hands firmly fisted in the material of your sleep shorts. "Just stay like this a minute." He murmurs.

You nod, allow yourself to relax fully into him. He lifts your shirt over your head, exposes your overheated skin to the cool air and you sigh. His own shirt follows a minute later, your nipples brushing against his chest. It sends jolts through your entire body, simultaneously flatlines your heart and brings it back to life. You moan and whine, feel your own wetness seeping between you both as James runs the pads of his fingers up and down the plane of your back.

You're not sure how long you lie like that, lost in the fullness of him, the static of his touch. It feels like seconds and hours, and when the credits of whatever movie start to roll, James ushers you out of his shoulder. The shift makes you both whine, James' grip tightening on your ass. "You doing okay?" He asks.

His face is so earnest, even in his own pleasure. Gentle hazel eyes that meet yours with so much respect and care. His glasses are slanted on his face and you reach up to fix them, hands trembling. "Never better." You tell him, honestly.

James smiles softly, "How do you want it?"

You clench around him at the question, breathy sounds coming from you. James' hands reach up until he's holding one of your tits in each hand, thumb nail grazing your nipples with each pass. It's dizzying, maddening. "Fuck," You tilt your head back, can't help the tiny lift and drop of your hips that has James squeezing your tits and groaning, "Hard, Jamie. Please."

He doesn't waste any time. James pulls you forwards, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. Uses his free hand to hold your hips in place as he snaps up and into you. The scream that leaves your throat is animalistic, it's pleasure-filled and filthy, like the wet sounds of skin meeting skin that fill the living room as James sets a relentless pace.

The drag of him against your walls is overstimulating, mixed with the chocolate. His thrusts are harsh and deep, his teeth clenched firmly against your nipple. "Fuck, James, I'm gonna come." You grit out, breathy and half moaned.

James releases your nipple, burrows you closer to his shoulder and focusses all his attention on thrusting. It's hard and animalistic and messy and loud and when he hits that one, perfect spot, he has you screaming into the pillows of the couch. You feel yourself gushing until your sleep shorts are soaked, are far too gone to notice fully when James flips you, pulls the sleep shorts down your legs and removes his own pyjama bottoms.

"You okay?" He asks, hands running a soothing path up your legs.

He waits for your nod, your promise that you've never, ever, been better, before he turns you onto your stomach, pulls your hips until you're face down on the couch.

His tongue licks the slick from your centre, a guttural sob escaping you at the feeling of him. It's a sex crazed daze when he slams back into you, hands bruising on your hips. It's deeper, fuller, from this angle and you feel like you might combust. It's deliciously perfect, the mix of want and need from the chocolate, and the way that James slams against your ass cheeks over and over and over.

His cock drags against your walls, squeezing and teasing until he's a moaning mess against your back. He leans over you, warm and body rock solid, pressing you into the couch. Your head tilts sideways to meet him, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, body jutting against yours. Desperate hands grab at the side of your face, prying your mouth open until his fingers can slip inside. He presses harsh against your tongue, cock jamming against every part of you that needs him most and your body seizes again, clenching and gushing all over James as you light on fire. It's euphoric, and James doesn't stop. Fingers slick with your spit, James pulls back, pulls your hips impossibly higher and reaches around until he has two fingers drawing tight circles on your clit.

You see stars, crying and moaning and babbling nonsense and James keeps going. His fingers draw tight circles, his cock slams into every inch of you and suddenly it all doesn't feel enough.

"More, Jamie. Need more." You pant, gripping senselessly at the couch cushions.

James presses a kiss to your tail bone, slows his pace, "So greedy. You've already came three times and you want more?"

You whine, limbs mush when James pulls out and turns you to face him. Your legs wrap around his back on instinct, pulling him closer and he goes. His head juts against your clit, heavy and sensual.

"Please, Jamie."

James has never not given you whatever you wanted and so he complies, thrusts forward so slowly you think you might implode. His hand grips the back of your thigh, pushes until it's resting firmly on his shoulder before pulling almost all the way out. You both watch as he slides slowly back in, revelling in the way your cunt pulls all of him in, swallows him whole. You whine, hips canting upwards and James smiles. "So, so needy."

He slams in and out in one quick motion, steals the very breath from your lungs. Your back arches, the burn of your thigh a delightful pain. James is somehow more relentless, like this, fast and hard and bruising as he meets every single spot you need him to. He uses his free hand to press firmly against your clit, messy and with barely any rhythm but its maddening, still.

It all feels too much, like this. The beads of sweat that fall from him and onto you, his groans and his relentless pace. The feeling of his muscles against you, the darkness of his eyes. It sends you spiralling once again, louder and harder than before, clenching around James until you're trembling uncontrollably.

He lets go of your thigh, falls until he's on top of you, hips jutting once, twice, more, until he's spilling into you. Hot and warm and by the load. He doesn't stop spilling for what feels like forever, the warm spurts a welcomed comfort. It's dirty and hot and you never want to leave this moment.

You lift your hands to trail across James' back and he shudders, pressing kisses to the skin of your tits, tongue darting out to take claim of a nipple that has you whining. "Two minutes. I need two minutes and then I'm going to lick my cum out of you," James whispers, teeth nipping at the skin of your tit, his hips cant upwards and you whine, legs widening so you can feel the slip of his seed down your ass cheeks, "Every last drop. And then we're going to do that again."

You press against him, needy and uncaring. "Please."

You feel his grin, feel the twitch of his cock, still inside you as it starts to ready itself. "And then I'm going to call Sirius and tell him how well his chocolate works."

You can't even bring yourself to protest, not when you can feel James' fingers start to collect his spilled seed from around your hole. So what if Sirius was right? You feel like you've been compensated enough for your troubles.

[malenjoyer]

hey, rc, do you mind just posting this?

hi! for those who didnt see my retweet, my name's ruin/ruina. malenjoyer (the real one here) and i have been friends since 2019 thereabouts.

to jayce and people who continue to support him: there is no conspiracy or alt account. there is no "this is actually someone else posting and lying." i can pin point to several drawings of his that have come out of conversations or jokes with me; i can give you timeline stuff. i can give you all the damn proof you need to know jayce is lying. there have been instances of sharing batman media, like the rogues podcast, that came because of me and being gushy about scarecrow.

but i gotta piece to say and me saying it on my blog won't really make it to your ears so.

my friend rc is an amazing person. he really is.

he tries so hard to be a good person and he is. he is kind hearted and listens to people. he gives his friends everything he can and receives just as much love. he's an amazing friend; hes funny and intelligent as all get out. he is fun to be around and has the most insightful advice you can ask of anyone. he's passionate about his interests. he throws himself wholly into the things he loves and it is so beautiful to see. he truly genuinely is one of the most real people you will ever meet. and i am truly, truly blessed to have his friendship in my life.

and it makes me mad, jayce, that you have seen him as someone to use. that you have the audacity to take my friend's identity and pretend to be him. you cannot begin to comprehend the amazing kind of person rc actually is. just because an online figure has a very private life does not mean you have right to pretend to be him.

it's devastating to watch him hurt and try to figure out how to navigate being stalked and used; it infuriates me. and i gotta know: for what purpose? for clout?

hey, jayce and co, quick question:

who drew this? what characters are they?

no points for guessing! this is an unpublished malenjoyer commission/wip for me! *my* oc and her dad. that he made for me months ago.

in case youre curious! ^ theres what she looked like before i asked for revisions. while we were on call! i have no shame in posting my discord user but for HIS privacy, i will block his out. but know, its not you jayce.

because try as you might to convince people you're my friend, there is so much more proof that you're not him. rc wouldn't do this kinda shit.

do you know what integrity is, jayce? you should look it up and get some.

rc has a private life and to use his private life as a way to gain your own following/friends/whatever is awful. its cruel. its traumatising. its awful. you're a piece of shit. you're an absolute piece of shit and rc might be too nice to say fuck you but im not.

fuck you. leave him alone.

ily 😭😭😭 MY RIDE OR DIEE

[prettyboykatsuki]

"If you won't be greedy, then you should at least let me be." He lets out a long, tense breath "At least let me have what I want." 

this fucking line tormented me throughout the workday 😭😭😭 u wrote him to be so sweet and sincere and open with his emotions and it’s the perfect balance with the reader. i like how them talking about greed as it relates to love reveals their extremely different viewpoints when it comes to their relationship. i adore how it opened the door for them to have this open and honest convo where they’re actually saying all of the stuff that has remained unsaid in previous confessions due to the reader’s unwillingness to engage in the convo seriously. i really like how u make use of these dynamics in many of ur works where one character has fears related to one aspect of themselves while the person they love is that aspect embodied (generalizing here). bc oh my god reader is so not indulgent with herself or her feelings for umemiya while he’s over here begging to be greedy with her. it’s just such a perfect dynamic thank u sm fang

ive been thinking of this ask for hours with a big stupid smile on my face bc wah!!!!!!!!!! wah its so sweet!!!!!!!

it really touched me reading this to see u pick up on the nuances of their dynamic they are so genuinely special to me and i love them so much.

LONG YAP SESH UNDER THE CUT

i think. in general - while umemiya is definitely a kind and naturally unselfish person, there is a lot of intentionality in his actions and behavior. it's not that he's putting on an act, but his kindness and manner is something he's had to think through critically and enacts with a lot of meaning and purpose.

and it is not that reader is naive, but there's a very real sense of innocence to her from her years of isolation. she's easily misunderstood but also generally, deeply kind and considerate. these aspects of her i.e. having really unconscious humility and a deep sense of loyalty are things umemiya cherishes as they are sort of . innate to her.

reader views her inability to be like umemiya as a shortcoming because she truly admires him that much. he embodies her ideals of a good person which is why she feels like he should be with someone who embodies them similarly. she genuinely feels selfish thinking of umemiya that way but it's not really out of self-loathing necessarily. it's not about her insecurity, really, but about how much she loves him.

and umemiya sees reader for what is innate to her which is selective but but wholly devoted selflessness .there's nothing greedy about wanting someone to love you back but she feels that way because her love and loyalty to him run so deep. reader is truly, truly selfless when it comes to him.

SO THEIR ENTIRE DYNAMIC AND BACK FOURTH IS REALLY JUST UMEMIYA TRYING TO GET HER TO STOP THINKING OF IT AS A SOME KIND OF BETRAYAL TO HIM BC SHE IS WHAT HE WANTS.

in his mind, he's really the one being greedy between them!!! he's the one who knows these sides of her and wants to monopolize them so much!!! but she's dense that girl really!!!!

i also . really like this aspect and dynamic in ships... when people sort of complete each other in this not so obvious way. hard to see on the surface but easy to see when you look closer. THEY ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME....

ANWAYS I YAPPED SO MUCH BUT I REALLY LOVE THEM SO THANK U FOR READING AND LETTING ME YAP DKFSJKSD

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

not to continue beating a dead horse but i saw the og post earlier ( got curious when i saw your posts ) and the line about the comparison with shizuo is so funny to me. like yeah it is absolutely true that shizuo is doing his best to carry on with his day and people keep fucking with him etc etc BUT. unclear how to phrase this but the underlying implication that shizuo is "better" less so because of his actions themselves and more so because the "negative" things about him ( his anger issues obvi ) are beyond his control and therefore not to be held against him entirely whereas izaya's action are entirely in his control and of his own volition ( which does such a disservice to both characters imo ) no sir absolutely no impulsive poorly calculated decisions that have consequences for him later. you fell for the character's facade meant to be dismantled by the viewer etc

we love beating dead horses in this house. say something stupid and we get to clown on you forever. those are the rules

ALSO YEAH LITERALLY TEXUALLY IZAYAS ISSUES ARE OUT OF HIS CONTROL. like.

literally right there. and you cant even be like "uuuhjffnfnbut in the anime" LOOK CLOSELY. duarara rewards reading between the lines and izaya as a character starts off with a facade that slowly crumbles and if you still believe the facade by the end then you're stupid point blank.

which like, its Fine to not be able to analyze a show, its whatever, its not a thing everyone can do ESPECIALLY as they watch a show in real time for the first time. but dont act like you had some kind of Grand Revalation about the show and then talk down to people who have been here for YEARS, decades even, because they disagree with you, and then insult shit like their age! this guy just made something up about izaya and then "dunked" on his fans because of this imagined attribute

and yeah treating shizuo as Absolved bc he Didnt Mean To does a huge disservice to him as well, wether or not he Meant To, things still happened and people were still hurt, the NUANCE behind it is whats important!! i do strongly believe that if you want to truly understand this show you need to do away with the idea of "good people" and "bad people." novody is a wholly Good Person and nobody is a wholly Bad Person and people are COMPLICATED, especially the people in durarara, and if you try to slot them into Good Person and Bad Person categorization then all youll do is do a disservice to the characters and the writing itself

and i have talked about this EXTENSIVELY on here but izaya is important to me because he seems to be intentionally coded to be a sociopath. like, i said this in my other post:

he was a young boy with clear mental problems, to the point where his father instilled that people love into him in order to prevent a worse outcome and help him be more normal. the way this is framed, as a young boy exhibiting a concerning disconnect from other people to a point where it scares a usually neglectful father into acting- is very reminiscent of media depictions (and real life examples) of parents worrying that their child is a sociopath. this could very well have been intentional, and narita EXPLICITLY makes a POINT to state that izaya is the way that he is because he has a fragile heart- any sort of genuine effection and a betrayal of it could shatter him.

and it means a lot to me that in a show full of subverting Tropes About Bad People, "the sociopath" as a trope was one of them and it ended up making an incredibly raw and honest portrayal of what having aspd is like- both in the hurting other people sense AND the suffering of the person actually with the disorder, which is something not really explored at ALL in Media About Sociopaths. i talk a lot more about izaya's possible coding HERE if youre curious, but izaya as a character is very important to me because its a kind of portrayal not really seen. so it sucks when people completely disregard any and all nuance behind him bc he makes them ~uncomfy~ and then has the audacity to make it our problem as well

also this is just an aside based on my own dislike of him at age 16, plus i earned the right to be a jackass tbh: a lot of people hate izaya bc on some level they know theyd be one of those suicide girls that has no real answer to why they want to kill themselves and flouder when asked about it, not understanding the weight of suicide in the slightest and yet still saying that theyll do it

(know or at least THINK; i was pretty insecure back then but i really wasnt Like That, i knew full well what suicide meant. but i wanna be mean so im built different. just me)

anyway yeah fuck that hater ass bitch

ALSO the idea that shizuo is in the clear bc "people keep fucking with him" is LAUGHABLE bc that includes people like. asking him a question or being mildly annoying or in the wrong place at the wrong time. dumb to the fucking ass!!!!

[revvethasmythh]

I think it's very interesting--and I mean that genuinely--that overwhelmingly in the past week or two, the responses I've seen about Relvin have centered around the idea that "he should have fought" for Imogen or that "he should FIGHT" for Imogen. I've seen this particular line pop up quite a few times in slightly different ways, and I think maybe we should unpack this a little.

Because in the physical sense, Relvin can't really fight. By that, I mean his stats probably look like Gilear Faeths and like, yeah, you can argue that Gilear tagged along during Sophomore Year and therefore, so could Relvin. But Gilear also *spoilers* died three separate times in a 20 episode span, and is only alive at the end because Emily loves him so fucking much and Brennan's resurrection rules in FHSY are more lax than Matt's. Particularly post-Solstice, where there is no resurrection to be had at all if Relvin were to die. If you want Relvin to join the Hells and Fight The Moon And Ludinus Too, it's really not feasible even on just a physical level. That's not even engaging with the question of "why would the Hells even want him there?" They wouldn't. He'd be a nuisance at best and a liability at worst.

If you want to him to Fight The Moon sans the Hells on his own, he's really not capable of that either! He's not a scholar, he's not a magic user, he's--he's a groom. A stablehand. He can't "pick up his pitchfork" (that he shovels manure with) and stand defiantly against the forces that face Imogen & Co. He's really, truly Just A Dude. Which is kind of the point I've been trying to make about him. He's lived his life around extraordinary people, and he is not extraordinary. He doesn't have the tools to fight something like this, which is part of his tragedy. Is there a world where he quits his job, leaves his horses and his home and his life and tries to become a warrior for the sake of his absentee wife and the daughter he loves but doesn't know how to love the right way? I suppose. But wouldn't that be a different story than this one? And isn't it worth finding the meaning in the one we're experiencing now?

If this argument is that he should have fought for Imogen on an emotional level i.e. having been there for her more or more outwardly shown her affection, we kind of run aground of the same problems. The ask here is that we fundamentally change Relvin's character to make him something that he is not. He is a man who struggles with emotions, and was probably desperately scared about what Imogen was experiencing when it happened and didn't want her to feel his fear. Or his thoughts about her mother. And so, yes, he pulls away (for a variety of reasons). And there is a conversation to be had about his choice to withhold information about Liliana--it's questionable. But, then, every option he was presented with was questionable. What do you tell Imogen, who was abandoned by her mother when she was two? That her mother is dead, or that her mother abandoned her? You pray Imogen never develops the same debilitating powers as her mother, but when she does? Do you give her the comfort of knowing someone else had the same powers, the same struggles, at the expense of prompting more questions about her mother? Do you take the chance to be peppered with questions about how these powers work only to helplessly look on and say "I don't know," and maybe send Imogen down the same road as her mother even sooner than she actually did?

There is no good option. There is no heroic version of Relvin that makes all the right choices and becomes Imogen's white knight father, endlessly supportive and wholly committed to her. The situation is too complicated, and Relvin, frankly, is far too much Just Some Guy to be able to really grasp what Imogen is going through or to fight it in an active way. But I do think it's interesting that this seems to be the version of Relvin that the fandom would have found acceptable.

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

MTG or YGO?

Long post? Long post!

Are you asking what I prefer? YGO. Are you asking what I think is better? That is wholly dependent on what a person wants out of a card game.

YGO's biggest barrier to entry is the fact that the cards are written in their own form of legalese. I mean this very literally, too. They use "Problem-solving card text" where it makes use of deliberately placed adverbs in effect descriptions to dictate moment to moment interactions. It is almost like learning a new language, and has been compared to learning how to read through legal documents. It becomes comprehensive once you wrap your head around it, and is the reason you can do some properly crazy/funny shit in the game, but wrapping your head around it and understanding what new cards do is a whole thing. Having someone who's played YGO before teach you how to play the game is basically the most reliable way to learn it. It's genuinely a problem.

MTG is, comparatively, much easier to learn. Very low floor of entry, and sequenced in such a way that you can understand basically how the entire game works in a few hours. MTG's complexity 100% exceeds YGO's at the uppermost levels, but the way game comprehension builds on itself is much cleaner, so it feels less obtuse overall.

MTG is mechanically more casual friendly. The current MTG darling format, Commander, is basically a 2ish hour social game where four people engage in a free for all that hinges partially on social politicking. It's typically chill. You also have a lot of assorted 1v1 formats and such. There is likely a "way to play" that will resonate with you, and the games tend to be slowish.

YGO doesn't really have multiple formats in a meaningful way. You can absolutely do group stuff and set informal rules, but the game ultimately hinges on 1v1s. With the frontal complexity of card text, these can and will feel very lopsided and frustrating until you understand what's going on. Once you do know, it's super cool, but getting to that point can feel like a chore. The games are also typically quite fast (maybe 3-6 long turns) and very dense with card interactions and timings. I enjoy it for the way it makes me strategise (or not), but it's definitely a preference thing.

Cost is something where YGO absolutely curb stomps. I can get a whole deck of picked out cards, plus a suite of "staple" (eternally meta relevant) cards, with lots of cool foiled versions and stuff, for like 50-70 bucks USD. You are NOT doing that with MTG. MTG is a stupidly fucking expensive game, where reprints of important cards are rare to encourage market speculation (I am not kidding) and finance bros have an ACTUAL PLACE in the community. There is a reason that casual MTG encourages proxy use. It's fucked. Also, as an aside, MTG's shiny/foil cards are dogshit. Same-y and super prone to curling. YGO foils are extremely good and pretty.

Cost feeds into another issue; set rotation. You can argue merit in both directions with this one, but for the average person with average money to spend, MTG takes another L here. MTG has set rotation. Basically, in the standard 1v1 format, cards that have been out more than 3 years will no longer be playable in that format, and you have to get the new cards. A lot of the alternate 1v1 formats in MTG actually just boil down to "1v1s but you can use cards as far back as X" because... people want to use their cards they bought. YGO doesn't have this. It instead has a banlist, updated every couple of months, that aims to curb problematic card interactions. Ultimately, though, if you buy a thing and like the thing, you can basically always use the thing. (MTG, as an aside, also has banlists for its formats, but it's in addition to the rotation stuff. The fact so many formats are there to ignore X years of rotations is also kinda telling, imo.)

Art direction and flavour are a personal thing. I like both, though I think that YGO's reputation for archetypal/thematic variation and card art quality are well-earned. That'd be wholly up to your preferences.

So yeah, I have a fondness for both games, but I ultimately prefer YGO because I like doing unhinged bullshit in it, I like the art a whole lot, and I like that all my cards are affordable and retain usability in a typical play environment.

[fandomwave]

"No Guys I Swear You Have To Go Out Of Your Way To Find It!" And why I don't love this take

This is about the Ha Ha funny Coffin Game which includes but isn't limited to topics of: Cannibalism, Murder, and the core topic of this little rant, Incest.

feel totally free to skip this if that's a hard pass from you! No shame in knowing what you're about including things you'd rather not engage with.

"I know what I'm about"

Good! So this entire little rant? Vent? Observation? Comes from the recent uptick I've seen of posts in the Tcoaal tag where people come in to defend the game with more or less this argument:

"No no guys the incest is really easy to avoid. You have to go out of your way to find it. The game even WARNS you that this is a bad route. Its nowhere in any part of the game beyond this. Honestly it's just not there actually"

And I get the want to defend the game as being more than 'The funny Incest Game'. I agree that The Coffin Of Andy and Leyley is WAY MORE than just the funny incest game. To reduce the game down to that would be a disservice to the writing that went into this game. Andrew and Ashley deserve way more and Numlie themselves deserves better credit than that.

h o w e v e r

However, I think it's also doing more harm than good to try and sweep their dynamic under the rug as something that is 'easily avoidable' and 'totally optional' I hate to break the news but Andrew's romantic inclinations towards Ashley are pretty obvious in Chapter 1. They certainly aren't as obvious as they are in Chapter 2, I'll give everyone that. But they are there, and to act like they aren't... Not to mention the defense EVERYONE gives so readily is that 'The Game Warns You This Is A Bad Thing To Do' is a lot more complicated than it might appear on first blush. First and foremost the 'narrator' is the one to say: "Somehow it seems like a highly questionable idea to take this route"

which imho is a far cry from "This is the bad end" "This has incest" "you are probably a bad person for taking this ending" that some seem to argue is the 'warning' you get. Secondly we should remember it isn't 'you' the narrator is talking to here. Effectively it's still Ashley first and foremost. When Ashley responds 'I know what I'm about' that is also the game showing us that Ashley knows what this means and still wants it.

Enthusiastic consent if you will

So what's the point to this little post eh?

Well I think it's doing a little more harm than good to both the story but also anyone interested in checking the game out who might actually be genuinely triggered by such topics. Tcoaal has the siblings romantic inclinations laced into the story from point A to B. It's impossible to avoid actually. You can go the entire game ignoring any acts of kindness towards Andrew as Ashley or Ashley as Andrew, and you'll always get the scenes of Andrew playing with Ashley's hair. You will always get the text informing the player that Andrew fakes panic attacks to share a bed with Ashley. You will always get the CG of Andrew's hand in Ashley's belt loops. You will always hear the voicemail 'You think you're better than me because you can fuck him and I can't' from Ashley concerning Andrew. You will always get the hints from Mrs Graves that she knows they are too close but did nothing to curb that behavior.

It is wholly unavoidable no matter what route you take. Burial, Decay, Questionable or not.

I think to argue that it's just a silly little ending you can get does a disservice to people who might genuinely be upset by that, and I think more than anything a game that is at the very least talking about incest rather brazenly deserves the warnings it earns!

I love this game to bits, anyone who's been within ear shot of me has had to deal with me talking their fucking ear off about the Sibling Abuse Simulator. I've gone on in excruciating detail how I think Tcoaal's writing has been done dirty by saying that Andrew and Ashley's romance is just a 'ha ha shock ending', comparing it to the siblings ending in something like Corpse Party (a game where the incest ending is 100% totally avoidable, and the story has exactly nothing to do with incest as a topic, and is only brought up if you trigger that ending. One where I agree with the argument that it's just there for shock value)

Anyways I see where people are coming from, I can understand the want to defend the game as more than the sum of it's parts and I agree that it does suck that this seems to be the thing everyone is hyper-focusing on in terms of it's breach of containment. I get it man, I really do. It deserves so much better than being reduced down the way it has by the greater internet.

But to say it's avoidable.. I dunno it's like taking the dragons out of Game of Thrones. The story as a whole about so much more than the dragons.. However you'd have a fundamentally different story if they weren't there, wouldn't you?

[34saveme34]

I don't exactly- have answers as we speak

but they way 4 had been acting is really interesting to me

I might rewatch stuff but I really feel like there's so much brewing in SMG4

ALSO??? NEW ATTRACTION??????? WHAT NEW ATTRACTION?????? W H E R E IS THE 2ND FLOOR??? THE SECRET ROOM????

also it's probably not just me but 4 has been making that like, type of face with a very specific vibe

each time he does I feel so uncomfortable- like there's something wrong with him

as I'm looking at it right now, it could do with so much

it could do with his lobotomy which would honestly make for a good miniarc! Almost like yknow, reinserting his meme lobe wrong made his brain do some funky shit or something and inducing him to Create Perfection or something

then again we didn't see Puzzles in a bit

not to say I'm like, impatient, I'm not one of those fans, I just wonder if PV episodes have a schedule or not

also if they're the reason we don't get wednesday episodes

which. ngl would make me really sad

I'd rather get wednesday eps than PV eps I'll be real

besides he came back early, should've made us believe he actually died for longer but they had no self control about it

anyways another possibility, which might be taking tiny lines but

considering Puzzles saying he could make SMG4 the show his own, the removal of "SMG4:" from titles could. easily coincide

I'm saying it's not 100% but it WOULD make sense and if they like, wait more before dropping shit on us about it too fast, it could make for a really good 2nd phase of the Puzzle saga and maybe he could actually prove to us face to face this time that he isn't just the bumbling idiot we've seen him as lately

like now THAT would be interesting!

although the whole tease of "it's gotta be perfect" look, guys,... fellow bloggers.... I hate to say it but they could be playing w us

like right now I don't see how a Perfect thing could be fitted into what we have right now

you're like "what? but he has been obsessing with his videos!!" yeah but there's a specific way about it

especially in this he was less "it's gotta be perfect" and more "It's gotta be all mine" like he was crazed, catching memes

this is like, entirely new of him and I don't think it's a Perfect thing, genuinely

for one, if it is, redditors would come out with the "we keep having repeats of the same character development"

but also like- Idk- if you wanna disagree with me, sure, it's not like I fully dismiss the idea wholly anyways

but it IS pretty stupid to have the SAME character development twice

especially from such a great movie as Perfect

however, gay crack ass idea of 4 going crazy over stuff to try and help 3 get enough traction that his café can take off again

I mean we saw that again, the episode was basically just Leggy, 4 being fucking off the shits and 3 stuff

the whole acting thing and also the café still doing damn awful

and I do think the idea of 4 going crazy over helping 3 would be so so comical and would be really hard to give a heterosexual explanation for! Which makes it pretty Perfect :3

[gainesha]

BSG rewatch notes, cont'd and ended (spoilers, obviously):

it was so nice to watch the whole thing again, once again being reminded why I fell in love with these characters

the second half of Season 4 is much stronger overall as the first one, but the Tigh-Six baby plotline is awful. dumb and ludicrous. gave lots of fantastic acting moments for Hogan and Helfer, at least

Michael Nankin was the GOAT for directing Sometimes a Great Notion

I had loved the piano man story from Someone to Watch Over Me, so I was looking forward to rewatch that, but I completely forgot that the other main plot of the episode is going to be Boomer kidnapping Hera, and jfc, the locker room sequence with Helo and Boomer as Athena and Athena watching them is probably the most horrifying scene of the whole show, genuinely disturbing

I really like the finale. the flashback structure works very well for showing us how far all these characters came, and also crystallizing their story arcs, the stakes of their present-day choices. the last mission is intense and satisfying. the big showdown between Cavil and the Final Five / colonials and the Opera House reveal is a bit bumpy, but I still love the anticlimax of Cavil just saying ah fuck this shit. the ending always made emotional sense for me, and because the emotional farewell was the more important expectation for me (rather than getting a wholly satisfying mythology and precisely worked out plot machinery), and I feel good about the exodus part, too, I can more easily let go of my quibbles of explaining how the people of the fleet actually went along with throwing all their technology into the sun and going into the wild which would realistically mean quite a low life expectancy for them - like, I would not last outside modern civilization at all, but considering the rate with which we have been destroying our planet in the years since the show ended, their choice to have a clean slate is all the more wishful and heartfelt. (also a nice sentiment to forego colonizing the natives of Earth). Kara's "poof" is jarring, but I find her narrative arc complete and wonderful. I don't need to know exactly what she was after she returned from Earth-1. I even didn't mind the epilogue! like, the dancing robots would probably be AI if they remade the show today, but otherwise, the all of this has happened before... message of the show, with all its cheesy directness, still stands. except maybe it's more difficult to share HeadSix's optimistic prognosis

"You know, I know about farming" is the best line reading of the whole show

I wish we got at least one more Leoben-Kara scene after the one in Sometimes a Great Notion. that was a huge turning point in their relationship, but it should have been followed up, and I am sure it would have if not for the unavailability of Callum Keith Rennie. that is the only part of the show that feels incomplete.

I was ranking all the episodes for myself alongside the rewatch, so here's my bottom 5 and my top 10. I still need to rewatch The Plan, which in my memory is barely more than a glorified clipshow with some nice acting, so that could possibly be in the bottom five as well. and yes, that is a 7-parter in the second place, sue me.

Black Market (2x14)

The Woman King (3x14)

Hero (3x08)

Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down (1x09)

Deadlock (4x16)

10. The Passage (3x10) 9. Someone to Watch Over Me (4x17) 8. Downloaded (2x18) 7. Pegasus (2x10) 6. The Oath / Blood on the Scales (4x13-14) 5. 33 (1x01) 4. Scar (2x15) 3. Unfinished Business (3x09) - non-extended version 2. New Caprica arc: Lay Your Burdens Down 1-2., Occupation, Precipice, Exodus 1-2., Collaborators (2x19-3x05) 1. Maelstrom (3x17)

[alchemist-shizun]

I was waiting you've been waiting ... MYATB final ep live reaction!

Somehow even later than last night, not only did I work for 6 hours again, I have guests over, but with no further ado let's begin!

first off i am terrified, somehow, even if im sure everything will be fine

STARTING OFF STRONG WITH THE HUAIBAO FANCAM. Does anybody look at first episodes Xiaobao expressions and how much of a genuine happy and warm smile he had, and now it's been SO LONG since we've seen one. Healthy happiness where are you?

Also. If I had a nickel for each time a danmei character falls off a cliff i'd be fucking rich let's BE REAL

lil meowmeow ...

XIAOBAO IS LOOKING FOR THE PENDANT SOMEBODY HOLD ME BACK

IT'S SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOOD XIAOBAO NO WORRIES this is so funny to me

Su Yin it's your turn for some character development come on I believe in you I know you won't disappoint me COME ON

My main question is why make him suffer so much things can be fixed so easily. so easily. oh my god.

Internally I'm also laughing a bit because Su Yin is just saying THIS MAN RUINED YOUR LIFE AND U WANT HIM BACK JUST HOW GOOD WAS THE DICK TELL ME. TELL ME

look at him, moisturized, in his lane, i dont know how the rest of the meme goes but you get it

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. YOU NEED TWO PEOPLE WITH STRONG INTERNAL FORCES. OH MY G O D u mean to tell me both Huai'en and Su Yin need to help him, this makes my ot3 mind go insane. This is beautiful, thank you Que Siming, again, he fixes everything, he is insane

NNNNNNNNNNnNnNnim goinG INSANEEEEE SIMING'S LIL be careful TO JINBAOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOPPPPPP IM SO SOFTTTTTTTT WEEPS WEEPS WEEEEEEEEEEEEEPS.

A few words for Xiaobao in this scene because holy shit. My boy is wholly desperate he'd do anything just to let Huai'en live, his feelings have been a mess for so long but he still finds it in himself to care about him so deeply he's better than any of us

This entire drama has been either of them in bed suffering and the other watching over, beautiful

holy fucking shit they FINALLY kissed. I'm going insane. THEIR HANDS!! THEYRE SO SOFT. Huai'en looks so cute after being kissed, they're so I'm so insane. my children.

i love my sick wife (literally either of them)

THEIR LITTLE SMILESSSS THEYRE SO SOFT AND VULNERABLE I WILL CRY

"swear to god if u and i become like this i give you permission to kill me" the most homophobic gay ever

I think he might really be one of my favourite characters I swear. Give an award to his actor. he is so disgusted by everything I love him

OH WOW OKAY. BATH TIME? Oh my god Su Yin and Huai'en. Here we go. My immediate response is "just kiss about it" but I don't think they will. Their tension would bleed out so easily

OOOO ZHAOCAI'S A MEANIEEEEEEEEEE

huaibao: having a small moment. Su Yin: THIS AINT ABOUT YOU!! i love them all, good god, he is hilarious, his jealousy is visible from three hundred miles

The healing process is so interesting to watch, I could just stare at them work for hours

WHY IS THIS GUY STILL HERE. WHAT. Thats a lot of food for a prisoner. TELL HIM LI GONGXIANG. HE IS SO AWESOME. God I ucking hate this guy.WHY ARE THEY LEAVING HIS CELL DOOR OPEN

HAPPY LITTLE THINGS

"Who am I to be mad at you?" I KNEW ITTTTTT I KNEW YOU'D CAVE SU YIN I LOVE U. WOOOOOOOOO

Heeeeeeeeere comes the cocklockkkk

MY TRIO OF WONDERS TWT <3 MAN the best dumbass trio ever

this is so fucking funny those two are lounging and there the others go being dramatic

im going to cry over su yin and xiaobao's bond again? yes. i am.

Thank u for calling that man a freak xiaobao

SHAOYU?? also this is the first time I see some actual help for starving people, that's a nice touch.

That was the stupidest interaction ever thank you shaoyu

oh he knows. he knows.

XIAOYU EXTERIOR DESIGN PASSION

THE SHADOWS MOVED IN WITH THEM ZHAOCAI NO LONGER ALONE. Also the matching headpieces!

THEY SAVED HIM TWT SHADOWS MY BELOVEDSSSSS

HUAI'EN IS SO HAPPY ABOUT BEING HIS WIFE

xiaoyu istg- HFAHAHAHA SHES DOING IT ON PURPOS. WE'RE ALL LAUGHING AT THEM LIKE ZHAOCAI

PLEASE IM NEARLY CRYINGNFDSAJAHAHAH

HE CANNOT BE JEALOUS ABOUT SU YIN AFTER HE PROPOSED FSJ

NOOOOOOOO WDYM THATS IT??????? NOOOOOOOOO THEY BARELY GOT USED TO EACH OTHERS SMILE. AND NOW IT'S OVER TWT NOOOOOO well that was a wild ride

I dont know what it is about danmei novels and NOT SHOWING ME THEIR WEDDINGS!!! I WANT TO SEE THEM!!

Anyway. WE REACHED THE END. WOW. Insane. Incredible work to all who worked hard to give us our first uncensored Chinese bl, may it pave the path to many more! I had fun waiting for episodes each week, hadn't felt this elated in a long time. I'm sad I cannot look forward to more, but I might get inspired and create some art or fics for this series, who knows owo the actors are too pretty to pass on.

I'm extremely glad we got that Su Yin acceptance arc I have been mentioning, Shaoyu hasn't gotten more bearable but ig he has to mature yet. Xiaoyu was an icon all episode, I must admit, Zhaocai has found his new partner in crime. I also dearly missed Jinbao and Siming as soon as they left :( their energies were something stupendous. I also liked that Huai'en did not go back to see his foster father, he didn't give him the fucking satisfaction. As it should be.

I'm not smart enough to make much more introspection so I think this is where I'll leave it! Come talk to me if you too have nobody to discuss this series with lmao, askbox is always open. Time for a deepdive into the tag now. I hope I see more of this soon!

A big pat on the back to all those of us who suffered to this day. WORTH IT WORTH IT.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT

[ravenkinnie]

Do you have any thoughts on good/bad/worthwhile Cassandra Cain storylines? Her introduction/origin years ago was uhh not good (i.e., mega-racist even by Batbook standards), but I figure a bazillion lesbians can't be wholly wrong (except about TSwift and maybe The L Word).

here is the thing, if you wanna read about a character of color in comics you gotta accept it will be a little to very racist. I'm pretty sure being racist is just a requirement to be a comics writer, like they make you take a racial bias test and only hire people with highest scores. and hilariously I can't guess which introduction you mean because I realise that her og-og origin also falls under some racist stereotypes but new52 was just a full on massacre jsnsjsj

I need to caveat that the storylines in her solo will have art so racist it will make your eyes water sometimes, that's why it's so hard ro recommend it sjsjsjks but I genuinely think the first few arcs from it are great, even though it's funny as fuck that they realised cass not speaking at all was either a lil racist or not very good for carrying a solo and they magicked her the ability to speak but it DID lead to the shiva arc and that was fucking crazy amd i haven't seen a batfam mf go this hard since then. on the flipside some of the later arcs and the annuals are.... oh girl. apart from racism even, they are just choppy and messy and nothing was ever gonna go anywhere because dc hated my girl and wanted her gone so she's not allowed to have any meaningful storylines connected to batfam or yk. anything really

and its only worse from here, like the whole evil cass arc after that leading to batgirl redemption is straight up infamous because of how stupid it is. it's pointless and it brings nothing and was never gonna be resolved because every man at dc secretly imagines their wife is deathstroke when they fuck so it's not like cass will actually get her dues at the end of all that. it was literally her death and the maidens and that shit sucked even less somehow

and that was the good era <3 n52 outsiders was okay, not very preboot cass accurate and shiva wasn't that in character necessarily but its not physically painful to read. but her introduction was fucking batman and robin eternal and I think whoever thought of this panel in particular

needs to be in fucking prison for the irreperable damage this did to fanon. and also whoever came up with tim saying because she can't talk she must have the mind of a chuld - oh if I got my hands on tynion for this. oh bitch

rebirth doesn't even deserve a mention because it was just boring. now we have batgirls as her main comic and I hate that fucking thing with my entire heart like I would pay a turkish witch to curse everybody involved in making this. the way they said they wrote them to be about 14 I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack just remembering it. from newer stuff the only things I would say are worth attention is her story in the asian heritage month special - not crazy good but its okay - and spirit world but it's not that focused on her. still a fun read tho

also, preboot, there are some REALLY good one off issues with her that you would never think to read because they are buried in other runs. my faves are gotham knights #2, dc presents batgirl vs joker, gotham secret files and origins, and batgirl secret files

tldr: if you want to stan cass you have to accept you will suffer. there's no joy to be found here, even in the good arcs. thankfully, I'm delusional and love pain so the potential they never made her live up to is enough to drive me crazy for eternity and one day I will suck off a dc editor so good they will let me write a cass solo with full creative control and jh williams on art and I will have my revenge. and they will all be sorry

[cringefaecompilation]

alright, alright, serious post about episode 102. i was really angry when i saw ludinus ignore every single valid argument against the gods or have an ounce of sympathy for the innocent lives lost and instead cackle like a stereotypical villain about how he was right all along. but then i was also super lost when the hells came to the conclusion ludinus only showed them the vision because he wanted the same power and lack of consequences to perform them as the gods.

and then it hit me. context is key. and what's the context of them being shown this orb?

ludinus wants to show them the darkest day of the gods abusing their power. but all they have seen of ludinus are his darkest days. this is the closest to a good day they have seen from him and i can guarantee if they'd stumbled upon this orb by accident or had been shown it by allura or anyone besides ludinus they'd be a little more understanding and less punchy. not fully change their opinions, though; i think if dorian or ashton were shown this in isolation their god-hating opinions would remain, fearne's ambivalence would remain, and the rest's shaky yet mostly positive opinions would remain. but since ludinus showed them this with the undercurrent of "you'll all trust and believe me wholly after seeing this!" he kinda shot himself in the foot. of course they assume the worst.

it doesn't make imogen a mean bitch laughing at his trauma and telling him it doesn't matter. it doesn't make orym a whiny hypocrite trying to lord his pain over ludinus'. it doesn't make chetney and laudna r/iamverysmart posters for bringing up the very real facts that he is oppressing people and harming innocent lives to "stop oppression and innocent lives being lost". it doesn't make ashton telling him he's just as bad as them a false equivalency because a bureaucrat "isn't as bad" as a deity. if ludinus is allowed to be upset for seeing the worst in someone demanding unwavering trust that has done nothing but harm them, then so are they.

this isn't me saying he's worse than the gods and they've done nothing wrong. they're equally oppressive, the hells even so much as admitted that the gods fucked up and "sinned".

and here's the kicker: i genuinely think that if they sat down and had a calm talk with ludinus, if they told him that the gods were not perfect and told him about firsthand stopping the colonization in issylra and delilah causing the apocalypse with her own god, if they gave orym 400mg of weed so he would chill for like ten seconds, if fcg was alive and told him that his pain was valid, if they were as kind and sweet and supportive as humanly possible to him... he'd still get fucking pissed at them if they didn't 100% agree with him.

he is not looking for a debate. he told them to make their own opinions on what they were shown but then got enraged when their opinions did not line up with his and then triggered delilah to rip herself out of laudna out of spite. i can sympathize with what happened to him, but i cannot sympathize with how he responds to criticism that does not immediately center and for lack of a better term, coddle him.

and i don't mean that in the sassy bnf post way like "this character is a bratty womanchild/manchild that needs to grow a pair", i mean it in the sense that this is the behavior of a person that was neglected so intensely that they take all criticism as a personal attack every time. it's a trauma response that's been getting worse and worse as the campaign goes on and his mental state has been getting worse due to outside forces triggering him. (eg: laudna and orym and imogen on the heroes' side)

ludinus is very, very hurt. fucking duh. he watched aeor fall as a kid and got told to suck it up as said kid. that'd fuck anybody up! so no matter what anybody says to him, if they do not validate his feelings immediately after he's shown them how he was hurt, he's going to hear them saying "fuck off, you're just whiny" no matter what they're actually saying. that's why he smiled at the orb because he'd finally been justified, and it's why he got so angry when the hells told him they refused to join him.

i'd also reckon this is why he's parentified liliana; the one person that did show him kindness and sympathy and he refuses to let her go just as much as she refuses to let go of him. he needs her not just as the vessel, but as his only "friend". i think that's why he wants imogen or fearne to join him. then he won't have to kill the only person who cares for him. it's a fucked up abusive relationship he's convinced himself is healthy because they understand each other like no other.

but of course, then what? what next? does he really want power? i don't think so, ludinus' ship has sailed. he just wants the gods dead and doesn't care what happens next. it's why he insists with no proof predathos won't care about anyone else asides the gods. it's why he's going to sit back and let the reilora conquer exandria. it's why if he fails, he doesn't care if everything burns down and the world is thrown into chaos.

if people refuse to see a world without gods, then only way out of this for ludinus da'leth is oblivion. and he's fine with that if they get taken out with him.

[sibyl-of-space]

oh my god so a while ago i submitted the amadeus demo to a certain not-to-be-named indie event, not really expecting it would be accepted but figuring it's worth a shot and either way i get feedback. right.

now i have had... mixed... experiences with the particular group putting on this event. i think they do some genuinely awesome work and provide an invaluable service, but the overall community still feels wholly unprepared for anything even remotely artsy or weird. like even though it's an indie scene it feels very normie core. i don't even consider amadeus that artsy or weird, but i am occasionally reminded that i may have a skewed frame of reference compared to a lot of folks.

(a few months ago i attended a narrative feedback thing with them that was such a dumpster fire it pissed me off so bad i went and wrote 43790248932 paragraphs about it on here. like just genuinely some "have you, like, ever read a book?" tiers of utterly baffling "criticism." one of them pointed out to me that i may not have considered this, but Amadeus comes off as slightly rude. ....NO FUCKING SHIT.)

anyway. i submitted the demo because i figured the feedback would be useful, i can use any positive quotes in future trailers, etc. i have as of today learned that the game didn't get in and also received the promised feedback.

first of all i think it says a lot that from seeing in the email "we regret to inform you," my response was oh thank fuck. I don't really want to deal with tabling at an event cuz I have other shit going on and would rather focus on finishing the game since I've just made a lot of decisions I'm excited about; they also didn't get these responses back far enough in advance to actually prepare tabling materials if I HAD been accepted so it would have been more stress than anything else. I've also been salty at things like the above narrative feedback debacle so I was absolutely just like "this is completely fine with me."

But I made the mistake of reading the feedback provided and now I am going insane again.

TO BE FAIR! SOME OF THE FEEDBACK IS GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL, I may take or leave a lot of it, some of it raises good points I've already addressed, some of it clearly understands what I'm going for etc. I appreciate all of that.

But man some of this is pissing me offfffffffffff.

Some quotes that are making me particularly want to kill someone:

"When first meeting the witch the dialog is just incredibly long and boring and I ended up skipping through most of it. Given how linear this story seems to be, I think it would be better suited as a webcomic or a motion comic, not a visual novel."

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD NOVEL MEANS. JESUS CHRIST.

I am extrapolating a hint of potentially meaningful feedback from this which I'm already addressing (the personality of the Witch in that conversation should come through more than it does) - but this person gave that "feedback" in the douchiest most insufferable way possible. Luckily for them, I've since made that conversation even longer. Fuck off.

"Some of the music is very harsh and dissonant while being very repetitive, which made me less enthusiastic about listening to it."

This was the same person which just tells me they have no taste. Like hmm I wonder if there was an intentional reason I am using dissonance in the soundtrack about someone going through something insanely fucked up. The repetition is an understandable critique even if I'll be ignoring it, but "some of the music is harsh and dissonant" is not a valid critique. Soundtracks aren't supposed to just sound like nice flowery music all the time, or at least not good ones. I'll be making the full soundtrack more dissonant just for you.

"Is there a reason for the Amadeus's bracers to be colored in but not the rest?"

[different person] THIS . THIS. F. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

NO. THERE'S NO REASON. I TRIPPED AND FELL AND ACCIDENTALLY ONLY SOMEHOW ENDED UP COLORING HIS ARMS IN EVERY SINGLE ASSET THAT DEPICTS HIM BY ACCIDENT SOMEHOW! THANK YOU FOR CATCHING THIS OVERSIGHT! SILLY ME!!!! IM TEARING MY HAIR OUT

"Not all of the music is equally fitting. There's at least one track that gets a bit techno."

yeah and im adding another track inspired by Bad Taste Aquarium from Sonic Adventure and another one that's basically GoldenSlaughterer 2. girl help I'm being "critiqued" by lame people with absolutely no taste

im so glad i read this after i finished moving my to-do lists to a new project management platform and getting really excited/motivated about where i'm at with the game because if i had seen this 2 days ago it would have just fucking killed my motivation. man. it's literally so hard being the only person with #vision

[donotlookatmepleaseandthankyou]

Doing this in one go because it's late at night and I'm bored:

Marvin (red-flag I know, I just find him compelling)

Mendel (I have a very complex love-hate relationship with this HIPPA-defying bastard)

None, they are all wonderful

Cordelia/Charlotte (they're both genuinely so lovely and complex and unfortunately get pushed to the wayside by the tight-knit family far too often)

Whizzer/Marvin (I'm a simple creature)

I literally could not pick just one under threat of death (I have been listening to "A Marriage Proposal" and "Days Like This" a lot this week though)

Maybe "Holding to the Ground" (it's still super good, it's just not one I've found myself listening to on repeat a whole bunch)

A Day in Falsettoland (there's no analysis for this, I just love it)

Everyone Hates His Parents (the one good thing Mendel did in the whole show was add those funky little adlibs)

"Unlikely Lovers" personally gets me every time, but "What Would I Do" and "Father to Son" are both pretty strong contenders imo

MARVIN!! I could literally talk about that bastard for hours (he means so much to me I literally feel sick writing this)

I would add the song where Mendel sings about being a shit psychiatrist back in (I'm kidding, I love the show as is, hating on Mendel is just a fav pastime of mine)

I subscribed to the notion that Whizzer was being wholly wronged by Marvin initially, but the OBC version of "The Chess Game" awakened me (I like him and his relationship with Marvin more now, because them both being flawed is infinitely more compelling than Marvin just being a douche)

ANY!! Especially anything that Marvin sings in (put me in coach, please please pl)

...Marvin (red-flag, I know)

I plead the fifth

Cordelia (I just want to talk to her and I wish she was more present in the show)

Jason throwing his Bar Mitzvah in the hospital with Whizzer (it's a simple answer, but that really was impactful for everyone in his inner circle)

Mendel (he may be a bitch, but he has killer harmonies)

Christian Borle probably (I've seen him the most in other things), although I truly do adore the whole cast

I actually have made most everyone important to me watch the damn thing...soo...(I showed them "The Chess Game")

Act One (I love "Falsettoland" but "March of the Falsettos" is a beast that for brevity's sake I cannot address in full)

Marvin. That's it. Ask me about him and I can talk for days. Also Mendel (although for entirely different - and slightly more hateful - reasons)

Gordon Schwinn from "A New Brain" (I think he would go insane instantly and I find that concept utterly hilarious)

...Marvin (red-flag, I know)

Jason and Whizzer (another basic answer from me, but Whizzer was so important to Jason and so incredibly influential in his formative years that I can't help but adore how he became an example of "healthy" masculinity for the kid)

"Don't make noise but Daddy's kissing...boys!!"

MENDEL (FUCK YOU MENDEL WEISENBACHFELD YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID)

Literally, everything that comes out of this fandom is instantly a favorite...soo...

I just love this show to a degree that is noncommunicable via coherent worse...so...GHAGUYGUSIHOAHIABIAHGWIIA FALSETTOS!!

The End!