#it is set in chicago and proud of that so the setting is not something to be sneezed at at least in s1

[readymades2002]

iirc episode 6 of s1 of the bear is the closest we get to acknowledging Le Gentrification. that's a pretty central theme of that episode obviously, though its done through richie kind of losing his place in the world as it constantly changes and dies around him. his conflict with that change is extremely visible in how he relates to sydney, which i think kind of muddles that theme a bit? sydney's treatment by richie (and carmy, though i haven't seen that discussed as much) feels incrediblyyyyy racialized and his war against her gets combined with his fear of everything around him changing. when he goes through his character development moment in s2, he finds that he actually fits in beautifully with the newly whitewashed Bear and he's able to start cooperating better with sydney as well, and its like...hm. his conflict. in episode 6. that fear of change. its shown as largely a personal issue and causes him to butt heads with sydney and to call the cops on her handiwork later on. its hard for me to express in a more coherent way but it feels like the show is conflating his issues with the bigotry he later attempts to unlearn and we see him improving and growing on both fronts through how he adapts to the fine dining atmosphere. and this is an interesting vehicle to show that, but it also means that the gentrification stuff is kind of just hovering uncomfortably over your shoulder and i don't know if that's intentional or not. because the bear DOES show its black characters with so much love and compassion and respect for their flaws and their struggle to live in the world and be part of it and their desires and learning to strive for more than they were. it just...hm. a lot of characters realize they want Something Greater through joining the world of fine dining. which is cool! but the beef is still closed for this and there is still an existing base of people who ate there who are not going to anymore. that's a community you're losing! that's a community that you're not feeding anymore! what do the longtime employees of the beef feel about this and why is this a conflict that's mostly shown through richie's pov

[caitified]

late nights

caitlin clark x reader

warnings:none, i’ve been loving writing kate’s family, so i wanted to try caitlin. if you like it i’ll continue!!

the energy in the arena had been electric tonight. caitlin was on fire from the start, pushing herself harder than ever to secure the win against the chicago sky. it had been an intense, aggressive game – elbows were thrown, bodies collided, and caitlin stayed laser-focused, channeling every ounce of her drive into the court. by the time the final buzzer sounded and the fever claimed victory, the crowd was roaring, and she’d been swept up in the thrill of it all.

but now, as the two of you finally got home, the fire that had fueled her on the court was replaced by something softer, more tender. caitlin’s gaze softened as she looked over at you, your baby girl, bella, nestled in your arms, babbling contentedly after a long night away from her mom. the moment caitlin set down her gym bag, she moved over to you, wrapping her arms around you both in a quiet hug, pressing a gentle kiss to bella’s forehead.

“hey, you two,” she murmured, her voice gentle and warm, a complete shift from the fierce competitor you’d seen on the court just hours before. she held bella’s tiny hand, smiling as her daughter cooed and grasped her fingers.

“you did amazing out there,” you whispered, reaching up to run a hand through her damp hair. “but she missed you.”

“i missed her too,” caitlin admitted, brushing her thumb over bella’s chubby cheek. “and you.”

together, the three of you made your way to the kitchen to fix bella’s bottle. you watched as caitlin, still in her game attire, settled into the rhythm of parenthood with such ease, gently cradling bella as she held the bottle for her. the sight made your heart swell – there was something incredibly grounding in these quiet, simple moments.

“she’s a natural, isn’t she?” you teased softly, watching caitlin’s eyes never leaving bella’s face as your daughter drank happily.

“she takes after her mama,” caitlin replied, a proud smile spreading across her face. “already a fighter, already a little intense. i can’t wait to see what she’ll be like.”

after feeding bella, the two of you moved upstairs to the bathroom. caitlin carefully prepared the warm water, her hands steady as she tested the temperature before gently lowering bella in. she looked completely different from the fierce athlete who’d been in the game earlier, her expression tender as she softly washed bella, her movements gentle and practiced.

you helped rinse bella’s little arms and legs, sharing a soft smile with caitlin as you both tended to your daughter, lost in the simple, precious routine you’d built together. when bella was finally clean, caitlin lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her up in a fluffy towel, pressing a kiss to her damp forehead.

“all cozy, baby girl?” caitlin whispered, rocking bella as she fussed a little, calming instantly in her mother’s arms.

the two of you settled in bella’s room, carefully tucking her into her crib as she drifted off to sleep, her tiny fingers clutching onto caitlin’s as her eyelids grew heavy. you watched as caitlin’s thumb brushed over bella’s tiny hand, her expression filled with a love and gentleness that made your chest ache.

when bella was finally asleep, caitlin wrapped her arms around you, pulling you close as you both looked down at your daughter, a peaceful silence filling the room.

as the two of you lingered in bella’s room, the peaceful silence settled deeper, wrapping around you like a warm blanket. caitlin’s hand rested on the small of your back as you watched your daughter sleep, her tiny chest rising and falling in that calm rhythm only babies seemed to master.

finally, with a soft sigh, caitlin gently pulled you back, her hand finding yours as you left bella’s room, careful to close the door quietly. the house was quiet now, save for the occasional creak of the floor beneath your feet. it was the end of a long day, and you both felt it, the weight of the game and the late hour settling over you.

once in your bedroom, caitlin pulled you into her arms, her embrace warm and strong, grounding you as you stood together in the soft glow of the bedside lamp.

“you know,” she murmured, her voice a little hoarse from the game, “this is my favorite part of the day… just coming home to you. to bella. nothing beats it.”

with that, she kissed you, slow and sweet, pouring all the love and gratitude she felt into it.

you eventually crawled into bed, cuddling close, her arms wrapped around you, holding you tightly. she buried her face in your hair, breathing in the familiar scent of you, letting it lull her into a peaceful state after the adrenaline-filled night.

“goodnight, babe,” she whispered, her voice barely a murmur, soft and comforting.

“goodnight, caitlin,” you replied.

more? requests are open! thanks for reading.

[megalony]

Better Than Any Medal

As promised, this is finally a buddie fic. Evan Buckley x reader x Eddie Diaz. I'm sorry it's taken so long to do a Buddie fic, I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: While at the award ceremony with Buck, Eddie and their kids, (Y/n) starts having contractions. But she tries not to tell the boys, wanting to celebrate first.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) arched her lower back, trying to relieve the pain in her spine that felt like it was snapping in three different places, all at once.

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and she couldn't stop them from falling down her face as her nails started to scratch against the porcelean sink. A twinge rolled through her back and her knees bent forward into the sink that she was leaning heavily against to the point she felt like she was going to break it.

One hand moved up to swipe at the sweat glistening on her skin and she took a deep breath, trying to push through the pain.

They all had a busy day today. Today was a special day and (Y/n) didn't need this pain right now. She needed to push through it and get ready so none of them were late for the station. This was going to be the first medal Evan would be awarded, and Eddie's first medal for being a firefighter and it would be the only medal Eddie would be proud of.

God knows he hadn't been happy when he got his medal for his time in the army, that was one he didn't think he deserved. But getting a medal for going against regulations and orders to go and save Bobby, that was something worth celebrating.

She tried to straighten up but once she was stood up, it felt like her stomach dropped down and tried to weigh her down to the floor.

"Mum," Violet knocked on the door, followed by a giggle that almost lifted (Y/n)'s heart. She knew all the kids were getting impatient because they were all excited to go to the station. They were just like their dads; always up for a party no matter what they were celebrating.

"I'm coming, just- hang on."

Her legs quivered when she slowly eased down to sit on the toilet so she could get dressed without falling over. She kicked the lounge set she had stole from Eddie this morning to one side. The shorts had been a little uncomfy because they didn't stretch properly over her stomach anymore, but there was very little that still fit (Y/n) these days.

She reached out for her tights and leaned forward, rolling her eyes to herself as she wriggled her feet into her tights. This was the part (Y/n) didn't like about being pregnant. Where she could barely get dressed or walk about without her stomach getting in the way or dragging her down or making her feel uncomfortable.

She stood up and leaned her hip into the sink, letting the waistband bunch just under her stomach because she couldn't be bothered to fight with them any more. She had to finish getting ready.

They didn't feel as comfy as they used to, but most things didn't anymore. (Y/n) was used to living in the boy's clothing, but she couldn't exactly do that today on a special occasion.

She had asked the boys why they couldn't have had this ceremony next month when (Y/n) would have already gone into labour. They had waited three months since the rescue mission to actually award the team, another month wouldn't have mattered. But they chose today when (Y/n) was thirty-five weeks pregnant so she would have to sit uncomfortably through the day and wear something that wasn't flattering in her current state.

Tears welled up in her eyes again when she shuffled towards the door and felt the baby start to kick. That was all she needed, for the baby to move and kick and liven up so (Y/n) would feel worse.

Her hand curled around the handle but she froze when a tightening sensation in her abdomen had her leaning forward and sent her knees buckling.

Oh no.

"Please… please, not today." She muttered defeatedly to herself as her hand moved to hold her stomach like she was trying to get the baby- or her body- to listen to her pleas.

She couldn't go into labour today. This was not the day to have their fourth kid. Not when today was supposed to be about Eddie and Evan and a day to celebrate the pair of them. (Y/n) wasn't supposed to go into labour today and take the attention off the boys or drag them all away from the party and cause a fuss.

The back pain, the sleepless night last night, the constant uncomfortableness she felt and the twinges rolling through her stomach, they were all vaguely familiar to when she had the girls. Why today? Why now? Why now, when this was supposed to be a happy day without stress or drama or any sort of problems arrising.

(Y/n) had done this twice before, she knew the signs and the feeling of going into labour and that definitely felt like a contraction.

If this was the start of labour, maybe (Y/n) could get through the whole day without much fuss or pain. Maybe she could hold off telling the boys until later this afternoon, maybe this evening if she was really lucky. That's what she would do, she would try her best to keep this under control and wait until strictly necessary to tell the boys.

She took a deep breath and straightened up, more and more convinced that she was going to have this baby today when the pain started to fade.

When she finally opened the bathroom door, Violet grinned up at her and muttered a quiet 'yay' although she leaned her head to the side when she realised her mum wasn't even dressed yet.

"Mum, papa said we're going in five minutes."

Evan was a stickler for timing. He created schedules for their days out, he prepped and got the kids up early and got breakfast ready. He was always creating routines and time guidlines to keep everyone on time, he couldn't bear to be late for anything.

"And I'll be ready, I just need my dress." (Y/n) leaned down and kissed the top of Violet's head, managing a smile when she looked at what her daughter was wearing.

A dark plum purple dress that fanned out in ruffles around her legs and a matching purple flower clip in her hair.

The six year old nodded and gave (Y/n) a hug before she wriggled past and hurried into the bathroom.

(Y/n)'s hand pressed against the wall, using it as leverage to get herself further down the hall towards the bedroom. She had only just got up and already she wanted to sit back down again. She just wanted to sit down and try to get the pains to disappear. All night she had been uncomfortable, unable to find a good position to lay in without her stomach hurting her her back aching like it had been broken. And now if contractions were happening, the uncomfortableness was going to get a lot worse.

Something soft formed on her lips when she headed into the bedroom and looked over at Eddie.

He was stood in front of the mirror, buckling up his belt and tucking his dress shirt into his high-waisted trousers that fit snugly over his hips.

It wasn't often that (Y/n) got to see either of her men in their suits, the most she got was them in their day to day uniform. Seeing Eddie stood there with the matching trousers and blazer and a tie was so strange, Eddie didn't usually dress up in suits unless it was a formal event like a wedding. For events and family gatherings he usually wore some smart trousers and a button up shirt, nothing this fancy.

But all five of them had to wear their uniforms today because this was a formal HQ event and they were having photos taken. The ceremony was technically for PR and promotional reasons, but it was still good that they were all getting recognition for what they had done.

Eddie's head turned in her direction and he quirked a brow as he looked her up and down. Stood there near the bed in her tights and her bra with most of her stomach exposed for his flooded eyes to drink in and observe.

"Are you going like that?" He danced his eyes up and down her frame while he turned away from the mirror to face her instead.

"I'm sure you'd love that, but no, I'll find a dress."

She looked in the walk-in wardrobe for a dress that would look half decent on her but not make her look like a fool or a football. Her eyes locked on a dark cherry red dress and she swiped it from the hook, smothering a groan as she clicked her spine into place, again, and dragged it over her head.

Her lips formed a frown when she pulled the dress down to her knees and it pulled a bit too low on her chest and revealed her bra.

She sucked in a deep breath and shimmied the heart neckline back up to cover her chest, but it pulled the waistband higher over her bump and made the dress ride up her thighs.

Her teeth bit down on her lower lip to stop herself from crying as she tried to rearrange the dress once again. She didn't want it too high up her thighs or too low on her chest, but there didn't seem to be any middleground.

It seemed safer to show a bit more chest and cleavage than risk her dress being too high around her thighs. She made sure her bra wasn't on show and she looked as decent as possible, but she barely made it out of the wardrobe before arms circled around her waist.

"I like that one, you look lovely." Eddie murmured, punctuating his words with a kiss against her shoulder and travelling his lips up to the side of her neck.

He slid his hands beneath her dress, raking it up so his fingers could glide across her stomach and over her tights. His words made (Y/n) smile but she didn't quite believe him. She didn't feel like she looked that nice when her tights barely stayed up, her dresses didn't look right on her anymore and even Eddie's clothes were starting to become too small for her.

"Hm, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

The genuine disappointment in Eddie's voice had (Y/n) shivering and she leaned her head back on his shoulder, pressing her forehead against his neck. She felt him lean his cheek on top of her head while his elbows pressed into her waist so his arms could squeeze her lovingly into his chest.

"If my stomach gets any bigger I'll be flashing my chest or my thighs to everyone. Nothing will fit anymore." Her hands travelled down to hold Eddie's wrists and she lifted her head from his shoulder when Eddie leaned forward into her.

He moved his pointed chin across her shoulder so he could pepper kisses across the front of her neck, feeling each shallow breath she took.

"Then I guess you'll just have to live in our gym stuff until boy gets here." He punctuated each word with a kiss up and down her neck before he lifted his chin and connected their lips.

Both Eddie and Evan's gym gear was more stretchy and loose than the rest of their clothing and his words made (Y/n) smile. When the kids weren't home she often wore the boy's shorts and a bra if the weather was warm enough and she knew if drove them both mad.

Although, if this was (Y/n) going into labour, she wouldn't have to worry about clothes not fitting anymore. This would be her last day worrying about how much her stomach was going to grow. Her shape would start changing again in the next few weeks, but at least she wasn't going to get any bigger than this.

They broke apart when they both heard Evan shouting "Are we ready?" to get all their attentions.

(Y/n) was as ready as she could be. She felt Eddie press another lasting kiss to the side of her neck before he unravelled from her frame and let her dress drop back down around her thighs.

(Y/n) pushed forward and headed out of the room, trailing her hand along the wall again when her stomach twisted and shivers ran down the back of her legs. She had a feeling once she was sat down at the station, it was going to be hard for her to get back up again.

Her eyes locked with Evan's when she headed into the hall where he was stood with all the kids. Violet was jumping up and down, waiting eagerly to go get in the car, Chris was stood with a broad smile in his suit that made him match both his dads. And Poppy was in a dark red dress similar to (Y/n)'s, with white flower petals sewn into the hem and a red scrunchie in her hair. The two year old was as eager as Evan to get going.

"Do you think I look okay?" (Y/n) glanced down at her dress before she looked up at Evan who was suddenly in front of her with wide eyes full of hunger.

"You look beautiful." His hands found her sides and he reeled her in until her stomach was pressing into his abdomen and her hands found his shoulders.

Her head tilted to one side and she watched with a quickening heartbeat as Evan's eyes clouded over. One hand reached up to drag her fingertips over the light coat of stubble on his chin, wondering if he was trying to grow it out like Eddie. Evan wasn't usually one for stubble or a beard, he liked to be clean shaven, especially since the one time he had stubble a few years ago, Violet had cried and demanded he shave and 'be papa again'. But he looked good with it today.

Her weight shifted from foot to foot but she tightened her hand on his shoulder, trying not to make a sound when her stomach twinged. It didn't feel like a contraction, but it felt like something similar. Like her body was starting to get ready for what was about to happen soon. She couldn't help the way her knees bent forward and she leaned into Evan a little.

It was enough to grab his attention and cause a frown to paint across his face. His head tilted to one side and his hands gripped her hips while his eyes raked up and down, trying not to focus on her cleavage too much so he could try and see what the problem was.

"You okay?"

"J-just a twinge… I think someone's awake." She felt Evan's hands leave her hips so he could cup her stomach instead and his lips curved into a catfish grin that morphed when he pecked her temple.

"Are we going now?" Chris swayed back and forth and banged his crutches to try and gain everyone's attention when he noticed his dad walking down the hall.

Evan's lips curved into a wide smirk when he felt a kick beneath his palm and it only brightened his already ecstatic mood. He pressed a few more butterfly kisses against her temple and cheeks, running his fingertips across her hips before he leaned back and turned to face the kids.

(Y/n) curled both her hands around Evan's bicep and leaned into him while she felt Eddie's hand on her lower back.

"Two cars or one?" Eddie mumbled and reached down to scoop Poppy up so the toddler didn't try and run once the front door was open.

They had the choice of taking both cars down to the station or one of them driving the 'bus' as the kids called it. Which was just the seven-seater they had so if they wanted to go on days out, they didn't have to take two separate cars and split up.

"I'll drive the bus, come on let's hop to it." Evan circled the keys around his finger and opened the door, letting Chris take the lead and Violet take his hand as they headed out.

***

"Can we join you?" (Y/n) smiled shyly and looked over at the girl she classed as a sister.

A smile lit up Maddie's face and she nodded, waving at the seats when she saw her family standing by her table.

Everyone was filtering around the station, finding a table to sit at to wait for the ceremony to begin. And (Y/n) thought sitting with Maddie and Jee might be a good idea, especially since they would be close to the stage and all the kids would be able to see the boys easily from here.

She felt Eddie's hand on her shoulder as she slowly sat down next to Maddie and he stood behind her chair and kissed the back of her head. While Chris sat down next to her and Violet sat opposite (Y/n) so she could be next to Jee.

Violet was the eldest girl, being six, Jee was in the middle since she was almost four, and then Poppy was the youngest since she was two. But the three of them got along like a house on fire and were always wanting to be together and go out with each other.

"Okay baby, are you gonna sit with mummy while we go over there?" Evan bounced Poppy on his hip and moved her towards (Y/n), but he rolled his eyes when she tightened her arms around his neck and started to wriggle around.

She squirmed and whined, muttering no as she tried to glue herself against him to stop him from putting her down.

"You can't come up on stage with us, girlie." He pecked her temple before he sat her on (Y/n)'s lap.

As much as Evan wanted to stand up on stage with all the kids stood by their side, they couldn't exactly do that. But he didn't want Poppy to get upset or have a temper tantrum either. She was as clingy as she was cute and she didn't like being parted from any of her three parents.

She wriggled around on (Y/n)'s lap, whining and holding her arms out while her bottom lip wobbled, something that always made Evan give in and crumble like a cookie. But he didn't get chance to try and reach out to kiss her or try and bargain with her before Eddie leaned over and held her hands.

"You stay with mum and be good, and you might get to wear papa's medal, okay?" It seemed enough of a bribe to stop Poppy from having a mini meltdown and she nodded, managing a smile when Eddie kissed her cheek.

Evan murmured a quiet "Be good," to them all and gave Maddie's shoulder a squeeze before he and Eddie made their way over to the stage to stand with the others.

(Y/n) watched them both saunter off and it made her smile when Evan hid himself away on the back row like he was trying to blend in and make sure he didn't stand out. Tommy was the tallest, but Evan came in at a close second and he didn't want to stand at the front and block the other's views.

She let her eyes wander around the station for a minute while her arms tightened around Poppy and she kissed the top of her head. The ambulance and both trucks had been parked round the back so there was enough space for a party in here. And two other nearby stations were on standby so all calls could be redirected to them. Allowing the 118 to have the whole day off to celebrate without the risk of a callout getting in the way and disrupting everything.

When Poppy wriggled and stretched her arms out, a soft smile overtook Maddie's face and caused her eyes to crease.

"Aww, you wanna sit with me, honey?" She opened her arms and gladly let the toddler clamber from (Y/n)'s lap and onto her own. She wrapped her arms around Poppy and snuggled her close to her chest and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

(Y/n) smiled at the sight and looked across at the rest of the kids, noting that Jee and Violet were more than happy chatting away about something in hushed whispers. And Chris was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes set on both dads, just waiting for the speeches to start so he could begin clapping.

She twisted in her seat, moving so her back was straight against the chair and she was turned towards the left so she could face the stage and watch the boys.

But a twinge glimmered across her face when another contraction tore through her stomach. Her hand moved down to smooth circles into the lower part of her stomach but when the pain disappeared, she let out a shallow breath.

When the pain wore off, (Y/n) continued smoothing her hand along the side of her stomach and she slouched a little in her chair. A forced smile played on her lips so the boys didn't suspect anything was wrong.

At least this was still the early stages right now. They could get through the ceremony and the pleasantries and (Y/n) could try and last as long as possible before needing to tell the boys what was happening and cause some panic.

A sudden thought flashed through her mind and had her taking a sharp breath.

Her water best not break yet.

If her waters broke too soon she wouldn't be able to pass it off or stop anyone from knowing she was in labour. But if it held off, (Y/n) could breeze through the contractions like she had been doing for the last hour or so. She could push them aside and try to carry on with the celebrations. When she had Violet it had taken a long time for her waters to actually break, she got down to eight minutes between contractions before her waters broke.

With Poppy she barely went into labour an hour before her water broke and everything seemed to move swiftly.

"So, how are you?" Maddie turned Poppy around on her lap so both of them were facing the stage, but she looked to the left to smile at (Y/n) who broke out of her trance and came back to reality.

"Tired." (Y/n) smiled and leaned back a little more, slouching down so her back didn't hurt as much and she darted to look over at the clock on the far wall. She hadn't been keeping track of the timing. She needed to count the minutes between each contraction so she knew if she was close to having the baby or not.

Maddie and Chimney had seen first-hand how ill (Y/n) had been at the start of this pregnancy.

(Y/n) had been in and out of hospital with severe morning sickness in the beginning. Evan had come off a twelve hour night shift and then spent the next twenty four hours in hospital after he came home and found (Y/n) passed out in the bathroom, dehydrated after throwing up everything she had in her.

It took a while for the morning sickness to taper off, and it didn't help when she already had three other kids to look after. Which was one of the reasons Maddie had been round to their house so much, so she could try and help look after the kids and give (Y/n) a break.

It felt like the least she could do because when Jee was born and Maddie had been struggling, (Y/n) had stepped in to look after her niece. After Maddie took time to go and take care of herself, (Y/n) had Jee almost every other day to give Chimney a break and to help as much as she could.

"Well you look lovely, by the way. I love the dress." Maddie took a sip of her drink and reclined in her seat while she looked up and down the dress approvingly. The colour was lovely and it stood out well without making her look rounded or out of shape with her pregnancy.

"Thank you."

(Y/n) was used to the boys constantly telling her they thought she looked lovely, but that was different. They were her partners. They always thought she looked good, especially when she was pregnant. Hearing from someone else that she looked lovely boosted (Y/n)'s confidence.

Her figure had just started to change after having Poppy and now she was pregnant again, changing shape for a third time.

She smiled up at the boys on stage.

Eddie looked stoic. His face was calm and his lips were curved into a tender, blushing smile. Whereas Evan looked a mix between excited and nervous, trying to dampen down his smile so it didn't shine too brightly and show off how childlike he felt right now.

(Y/n) couldn't wait to see what the pictures would look like once they were uploaded in a few days. She wanted all the pictures she could get of the boys and the team as a whole.

Her spine clicked into place and she sat up straighter once it was time for them all to be awarded their medals.

Eddie looked almost pleased to get off stage and he managed to smile when the medal was hung around his neck. It made (Y/n) wonder just how long the boys would keep them on before they either put the medals in (Y/n)'s bag or pawned them off on the kids. It would be Eddie who would give his away first, (Y/n) knew that. Evan would be a bit more apprehensive to part with his medal.

The dark rouge blush that flushed Evan's face when it was his turn made (Y/n) smile. He looked so sweet with his nose and cheeks tainted pink and his neck flushed red and his smile reached those baby blue eyes.

She could see his hands fidgeting in front of his lap, scratching together to remain calm and composed until he could move to the back of the stage again and blend into the background. Not that he could ever blend in when in (Y/n)'s eyes, both her men always stood out.

As soon as the clapping started and everyone began to move, (Y/n) could hear all the kids cheering and bouoncing up and down like rockets about to take off into the sky.

It made her smile, but her smile faded when another contraction stabbed at her abdomen and had her leaning forwards. Her hand gripped the edge of the table and she took a sharp breath, pressing her lips into a thin line to muffle any sound and try to cover up her unease.

"You okay?"

She felt Maddie's hand on her wrist and she forced herself to nod and try to laugh. If Maddie knew she was having contractions, she would tell the boys straight away and then none of them would be staying for much longer.

(Y/n) didn't want to disrupt the ceremony in any way, she wanted today to go well and the boys and the kids to enjoy themselves. She wanted the boys to get the recognition they deserved and have a relaxed day with their colleagues where they didn't have to rush into dangerous situations.

Both the boys loved a party and (Y/n) wasn't going to tell them and ruin the atmosphere until it was absolutely necessary.

"Just back ache, God this boy's killing my spine." She wasn't exactly lying, her back did hurt a lot more than usual. Only last week her back had locked in place and Eddie had to sit on the kitchen floor with her for over half an hour until he could finally move her and stand her up without crippling her in agony.

She tried to sit back up straight and when she looked over at the boys, she grinned and looked around the table.

"Why don't you all go get a picture with dad and papa?"

Poppy was off like a shot, squirming out of Maddie's arms and squealing with her arms stretched out in front of her. She looked cute, like a little berry in her red dress, weaving between everyone who quickly moved out of her path so she could make a beeline for her dads.

She reached Eddie first who grinned and scooped her up, planting a kiss down on her cheek as he swung her round in the air before settling her down on his chest.

Chris and Violet followed swiftly after and Evan picked Violet up while Chris stood between them both. The five of them got a few lovely pictures together that (Y/n) would make sure she got printed and put in a frame at home.

Tilting her head down, (Y/n) looked down at her stomach while her lips pressed together tightly and her hand curled around the edge of the table. The sharp edge cut into her palm and she held her breath until her chest felt like it was going to explode, making sure she didn't make a sound at the familiar tearing feeling in her abdomen.

She almost jumped in her seat when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and a set of lips smothering the top of her head.

"Wanna come get something to eat, baby?" Evan's hands moved up and down (Y/n)'s arms as he leaned over the back of her chair and attached his lips to the side of her neck.

"No, m'not hungry." Her hand reached up to hold Evan's wrist and she gave a tight squeeze while her head leaned into the crook of his neck. She couldn't go and get something to eat, not when her stomach was churning and the contractions were starting to tear her in two.

"You and bubba aren't hungry? I find that hard to believe." Evan let go of her shoulders so he could curve his arms around her front and glue his chest into her back.

He couldn't well believe that (Y/n) didn't want anything to eat when she knew Bobby had helped make half the food on that buffet table. She and the kids were all suckers for Bobby's food, especially when she was pregnant. Evan was always delighted at the strange cravings (Y/n) had when she was pregnant and he loved that she actually had a proper appetite when she was pregnant- at least after the morning sickness wore off with this pregnancy.

"Not yet anyway," (Y/n) murmured back before she pecked Evan's cheek and clicked her spine into place.

"You'd better be quick, there won't be much left soon."

"Not with you and the kids nearby." A grin spread across (Y/n)'s lips when Evan swatted his hand down on her hip. "I'll come up and get a drink." She patted his arm before her hands moved to the table to try and ease herself up.

She felt Evan's hands shift to her hips and once she was up, he pecked her cheek and kept an arm curved around her waist as they headed over to the buffet table. Evan eventually unravelled his arm from (Y/n)'s waist so he could reach over and pass Chris and Violet a plate each.

He stood behind Eddie and rested his chin on Eddie's shoulder so he could kiss his neck, nudging his shirt collar out the way.

A shiver tore down Eddie's spine and he gruffed, trying not to move or make a noise when he felt Evan nipping at the side of his neck. He rose a brow and twisted his head to the right to look at his partner who was grinning into his neck.

"Don't mark me up." He kept his voice quiet so Poppy wouldn't take any notice since the toddler was sat on his hip, currently refusing to let him go.

Evan grinned and finally pulled away once a red slash appeared on Eddie's neck that he tried to cover with the collar of his shirt. He moved his free hand down to Violet's shoulder and let her stand in front of him while Chris stood between him and Eddie, all of them adding to their paper plates.

Eddie led the way back to the table with Chris following behind him while Evan stayed with Violet and pointed out the stuff she would eat. She was a fussy eater, most of the stuff on the table she wouldn't even try. Whereas Chris was like both his dads and ate anything, and Poppy would just pick and choose things from Eddie's plate.

Just as Evan was about to guide Violet back towards the table, he stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Uh, Buck?" Chimney let go of Evan's arm and reached to his right, daring to rest his hand on (Y/n)'s arm when she looked like she was about to collapse.

She was holding a pitcher of juice with a stack of paper cups in front of her, both of which she was about to take back to the table. But she stopped and leaned forward, her free hand pressed down onto the table that she prayed would take her weight and keep her stood upright.

Chimney could feel her shaking and she had her chin tilted down into her chest and her eyes were snapped closed. She wasn't saying anything but he would take a guess that she was in some sort of pain.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Evan let go of Violet's shoulder and gently nudged her to follow after Eddie before he moved to stand behind (Y/n).

"M-my back…"

A frown formed on his lips and he leaned over her while his right hand gently pressed into her lower back. A cringe tore through Evan and his lips formed a grimace when a loud click echoed through the air and he felt the crunch beneath his palm. Her spine had clicked into place.

(Y/n) let out a small sigh and finally opened her eyes, shuddering through her next breath, disguising the contraction with the back pain she was having. At least her back felt a little more flexible now Evan had unintentionally put it back in place.

"Thanks," She tried to smile up at Evan but it didn't make him feel any better, the concern was still plastered across his face.

"Let's sit you down, that didn't sound too good."

(Y/n) was inclined to agree, she wasn't sure how much longer they would be staying here if the contractions continued this strongly.

***

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) leaned forward until her head was hung over the table and her knees were pulled up against the underside of the tabletop. Her hand moved to jab into the side of her stomach, pressing as hard as she could to try and deflect the pain and distract herself.

Her teeth sank down in her lower lip so sharply blood started to well up on her tongue and flood her mouth.

The contractions were as strong as ever and they were starting to get closer together. She couldn't wait this out much longer. She was going to have to tell the boys and ruin the party, but they were having so much fun.

All the kids were in their element, drifting around to talk to everyone else and get pictures and cake and play games. Chris had been having a great time with Denny and chatting to Hen and the girls were all playing together and Poppy was being passed around like a present for everyone to admire. She had taken a shine to Bobby who had spent almost half an hour walking around the station with her, talking to people and showing her around.

A quiet whimper tumbled past her lips and her body started to shake as her knees juttered against the table that was empty, apart from herself.

Once the pain started to subside, (Y/n) tried to sit up straight in her chair but her lower back felt like it had been broken and her abdomen was on fire.

She took a sharp breath and pushed up to her feet. She needed to walk around before her legs turned numb and she broke down in tears. Sitting there going stiff wasn't going to do her any favours, she needed to be up moving about.

Her hand pressed to her lower back and she grabbed her phone from the table when she looked across at the other side of the station. She could take some pictures. That would be enough to distract her and bring a smile to her face.

She could barely find the strength to put one foot in front of the other but she did her best, shuffling more than walking, to try and get as close to the make-shift dance floor.

Her heart swelled and a flutter of adrenaline coursed through her chest when she looked at her family.

Eddie had Violet's hands in his and the eldest girl stood so close she was almost standing on his feet. A bright smile lit up his face and creased his eyes as they danced and swayed from side to side and every few seconds, Eddie would shimmy Violet from left to right to make the hem of her dress spin and flutter.

Then there was Chris who was stood with Evan and Bobby, the three of them doing some sort of strange dance similar to the Macarana.

And Poppy and Jee were in the centre of the dancers, their hands tangled together, their knees bending and both of them were spinning in slow circles, doing their own sort of dance. They were the cutest sight. (Y/n) wondered how Evan wasn't over there taking dozens of photos or trying to join in already.

(Y/n) moved to the edge of the make shift dance floor, rubbing her left hand in circles along her back while she set her phone to record and slowly pointed around the dance floor. Capturing all of her family and friends enjoying themselves to the music, even Chimney and Maddie were up swaying to a rather upbeat song.

After a few moments, (Y/n) switched to taking photos and shuffled a bit closer while a tense smile pulled on her lips.

When another contraction hit, (Y/n) swallowed down a groan and let herself crease forward a bit to ease the tension and try to make the pain more bearable. But the pain seemed to extend and shake down to her feet and her thighs quaked together as her knees felt like they were going to buckle.

She didn't realise had doubled over even more until a groan tumbled past her llips and she suddenly realised tears were welling up in her eyes, ready to flush her face.

For a split second, Eddie looked away from Violet and glanced his eyes around the room. He knew (Y/n) hadn't eaten anything yet and she had been unusually quiet at the table earlier. But he couldn't see her sitting at the table any longer.

He scanned his eyes around while he twisted Violet to the left and let her tug and sway on his hands. But his lips fell from a smile into a confused frown when his gaze locked on his partner.

She was bent forward at an odd angle with her hand on her stomach and her other hand was shaking to the point she looked like she was about to drop her phone.

"Go to papa a minute, baby." He leaned down and pecked the top of Violet's head before he pointed her in Evan's direction.

Once she toddled off, Eddie weaved through the few other people dancing or letting loose, his hands moving to reach out for (Y/n) in case she lost her balance or crashed to her knees. His hands found her elbows and her felt her shudder and almost jump back until she realised who it was stood in front of her.

His thumbs smoothed up and down the creases of her elbows and he waited for (Y/n) to look up at him, but she wouldn't. Both of them looked down when (Y/n) grabbed his forearms and groaned.

Water trickled down her legs into a puddle at her feet.

Her waters had broken.

"Oh God. Buck!" Eddie twisted his head to the left and reached one hand out to beckon Evan over to them. They had a situation now.

He gently pulled (Y/n) closer to him and sidestepped a few paces until they were closer to a table and away from the dance floor. His brows rose when (Y/n) tightened her hold on him and pressed her forehead into his chest. There was no hiding now. (Y/n) couldn't play this off or pretend she was fine, not now her waters had broken and Eddie had seen her in agony.

"You're in labour, aren't you?" His lips hovered beside her ear and he gave her arms a squeeze when (Y/n) didn't bother to look at him, she just hummed.

Eddie nodded more to himself than to (Y/n) and let go of her arm so he could cup the back of her neck. He thought she looked uncomfortable earlier when the rest of them were eating and (Y/n) went quiet. He had seen her wriggle and try to get comfy or become uncomfortable when she tried to get up.

But they were thirty-five weeks along now, labour technically could happen at any point, although Eddie wasn't expecting it this early.

"Since when?" He murmured against the side of her head, a sense of authority in his words but a shiver ran down his spine when (Y/n) didn't answer him. She just stayed tucked up against his chest.

Both of them felt Evan hurrying up beside them. One hand clamped down on Eddie's shoulder while his other hand held (Y/n)'s elbow to try and keep her stood upright. She looked like she was about to go down on her knees. And Evan hadn't missed the small puddle of water on the floor when he rushed over. He could gather what had happened here.

"Baby, did your water break? Have we gotta go?" He rushed through his words, looking between both partners before he spun to glance behind him.

The music was being turned down and he could see Maddie and Chimney reaching out to stop the kids from rushing over or thinking something was wrong. There was no need for the kids to panic.

"Let's go sit down."

(Y/n) rolled her lips together and managed to lift her head when she felt the boys move round. Eddie was on her left with an arm curved around her back and her hand tangled with his. And Evan stood on her right, nodding silently at his sister when she pointed to her stomach and murmured 'the baby?' across the station.

Her legs felt like they had turned to jelly, she could barely lift her feet anymore but when another contraction tore through her stomach, (Y/n) stopped. Her temple flopped against Evan's arm and she tried to swallow down a groan as her knees bent and she tried to crouch down between the boys.

She didn't want to be stood up any longer. She wanted to kneel or sit down and she couldn't make it to a table.

The shallow, panting breaths she let out made Eddie's chest tighten and when (Y/n) started to groan and shake, Eddie looked between both partners.

"Do not tell me you're pushing already."

The growl that vibrated after his words made (Y/n) whimper and she looked up at him through hooded lashes that almost made him melt. She could feel the deep breaths he was taking to try and stay calm and she all but shuddered when Evan held her chin and tilted her head up in his direction.

"How long have you been in labour?" His arched brow and stern lips set in stone told (Y/n) not to bother trying to fob them off or pretend she wasn't sure. If she was close to pushing she had to know how long she had been having contractions. And neither of them were going to be impressed if she had kept this from them for longer than twenty minutes.

"S-since this morning?" It came out more of a question than an answer and tears trickled down (Y/n)'s face when Evan swore and a dark "This Morning?!" grumbled past Eddie's lips in retaliation.

"Christ baby, why the Hell didn't you say something?"

A tear rolled down (Y/n)'s cheek and made Evan's heart break and regret his words instantly. He wasn't trying to argue or get into an argument but he couldn't help how upset it made him that she had been suffering and in pain for ages and neither of them had known that she needed help.

"I'm sorry. I-it's your day-"

"Nevermind that mi amor, we need to get in the back room, we can't transport if you're already dilated."

Eddie didn't care for apologies, she didn't have to say sorry for not telling them, no matter how upset they might be that (Y/n) had clearly suffered all day without letting them know. They had to sit her down and get her checked over because if she was almost fully dilated, it wouldn't be wise to move her until after she'd had the baby. Unless they all felt like having their fourth baby in the back of the 118 ambulance.

"Can you watch the kids?" Evan looked across at his sister who nodded, Poppy already in her arms so the youngest didn't try and run off after her parents. While the three of them changed direction to aim for the locker room. It was the closest room without having to drag (Y/n) down the back corridor or hike her up the stairs.

"Hen I'll need a medic bag."

She was already off to get the kit whilst the three of them blundered into the locker room just as (Y/n) cried out and doubled forward. She was glad when Eddie moved to stand in front of her, moving her hands to his shoulders while his hands clamped down on her hips and held her up. He let her face smother into his chest and he held tight when she bent her knees and tried to hunker down.

They could both hear Evan muttering curse words under his breath while he shed his blazer and tossed his tie to one side. He made quick work of rolling up his sleeves before he went down on his knees behind (Y/n) and murmured a soft 'Let's have a look.'

Both men were suddenly glad they had taken their medals off almost as soon as they got given them. Chris was proudly wearing Eddie's medal and the last Evan saw of his, Poppy had been parading around with it, showing everyone the red ribbon that matched her name and her ruby red dress.

"Shit, you're crowning already. This is gonna be the first baby born in the station."

"I'm sorry-"

"Hey, no use apologising. Let's focus on meeting our boy, hm?" Eddie smothered his lips against the top of (Y/n)'s head, smiling into her hair when his eyes locked on Evan. Their partner was knelt on the floor, breathless and smiling proudly.

They didn't have to wait any longer to meet their second boy and even out the score to two boys and two girls. Their next bundle was about to arrive and Evan couldn't wait.

"Did I hear that right?" Hen questioned as she dumped a medic bag and some towels down beside Evan and reached out to hold (Y/n)'s hips. "Maybe we should sit you down, honey. This is baby number three for you, they're not gonna wait around."

Eddie carefully leaned (Y/n) back into Hen so he could shed his blazer and tie like Evan, before he went back to holding (Y/n). He and Hen turned her around and slowly lowered down to the floor with her in their hold.

She let herself ease back into Eddie's chest and tipped her head back on his shoulder while his arms cocooned around her waist. His chin perched on her shoulder and made a shudder run through her skin.

"Okay baby, keep pushing, you know what to do."

(Y/n) let out a groan and moved her hands until Eddie took the hint and deadlocked their hands together. He smothered his lips against the side of her head and pushed his chest forward into her back to keep (Y/n) sitting upright. While Evan had a towel over his lap, knelt between (Y/n)'s legs with Hen at their side getting the equipment out ready.

(Y/n) snapped her eyes closed and tucked her face into Eddie's neck, letting him curl around her like a blanket and smile against her temple.

"You're so close now, mi amor. What a way to celebrate, eh?"

Tears started to flush down (Y/n)'s face as a broken cry tore from her lips when she pushed forward and felt Eddie shuffle up behind her to keep her sitting upright and prop her up. He peppered his lips along her neck and over her cheek while he looked over her shoulder, grinning through tears when Evan shuffled forward with his hands stretched out.

"Head's out, one more push."

(Y/n) could see stars twinkling in front of her eyes and all the blood seemed to swim through her head. This felt so much quicker than the first time with Violet, possibly even quicker than when they had Poppy too and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Good girl, you've done it. This must be a record for us." Evan kissed her knee and felt her fingers shakily drag across the back of his neck while he looked down at the bundle in his arms.

And Eddie cupped his hand beneath her chin and gently lifted her head and let it fall into the crook of his neck. He pressed his lips against her temple and brushed his thumb up and down her cheek when he felt all the tension leave her body.

Her trembling hands reached out when Evan knelt between her thighs and carefully laid their boy on her chest. She could barely hear his cries from the static pulsing through her ears but she could feel his hands batting down on her chest and his cries vibrating through her ribs.

"You know it's supposed to be our day off, right?" Hen mused with a cheeky smile and she couldn't help but lean over to get a look at the new addition.

A lopsided grin flooded Evan's face as his hands smoothed up and down (Y/n)'s exposed thighs, both to comfort her and help get some circulation back through her legs. He leaned forward and pecked her lips, looking down at their little boy before he looked up and caught Eddie in a quick kiss.

"The kids are gonna be thrilled." Evan glanced to the left and took a peek through the doorway.

They knew both Chris and Violet would be bouncing off the walls right now, desperate to see their parents and their new brother before they had to go to the hospital. But all of them knew Poppy probably wouldn't be happy that now she wouldn't be able to stay with any of her parents. She would have to make do with her aunt or her grandad Bobby for a while.

Eddie kissed her temple again and reached a hand down to brush his thumb along their son's cheek.

"Thank you for the present, mi amor."

"Yeah," Evan mused, tangling his fingers with Eddie's on top of their son's chest. "This is better than any medal."

[zepskies]

A Crime of Passion

Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 

Summary: When Beau Arlen decides to “make it up to you,” he’s damn thorough.

AN: I couldn't help myself lol. I wrote this last night. Here's a quick little drabble for the Take Me Home series, set directly after A Good Man Is Hard to Find!

Based on this request from @jessicalynnann.

Word Count: 550

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Implied smut, fluff, and a murder (of sorts).

Catch up on the TMH-verse: ⤵️

❤️ Take Me Home Masterlist

You just…you couldn’t stop laughing.

“All right, you done?” Beau asked.

You never thought you’d see this man blush so thoroughly. It made you laugh harder, though you tried to stifle it with your hands covering your face.

He had you laid out beside him, still skin against naked skin as the cool air began to dry your dewy bodies.

You were lying against him in an odd position, considering your bed now had a deep crack in the bedframe that ran all the way down the middle. It meant your legs were bent at an angle, almost like you were laying in a recliner seat.

You just couldn’t believe it.

This man had really broken your bed.

In fact, he murdered it. Killed it dead. Though you supposed it was a crime of passion, in this case. (You held in a snort at the thought.)

There were even a couple of screws that had rolled across the tile floor.

“Again, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I promise I’ll pay for a new frame,” Beau said contritely.

The truth was, he was embarrassed beyond belief.

Another giggle escaped you, though you tried to soothe him by caressing his cheek.

“Baby, it’s okay. This thing was old. I’m surprised it survived the move all the way from Chicago, honestly,” you said. The twinkle of mischief in your eyes made his face warm further.

“But how damn lucky am I,” you added, your lips curving. “My man quite literally shatters expectations when he makes love to me.”

And despite the unexpected cracking sound that had left you wide-eyed, it had been a spectacular finish. Even now, you were still tingling between your legs from how hard you’d come on his cock. (Twice.)

You slipped your bare leg between both of his and pressed a sweet kiss to his chest.

Beau fought it, but he had to smile at your words, and your affection. He sunk a hand into your tangled hair, first brushing his thumb against your cheek.

“You sure you’re okay then?” he asked.

“I’m more than okay,” you said. He felt the shape of your smile against his skin. You pulled back to meet his eyes. “Better the bed than my back, anyway. Jesus.”

Beau let out a sigh. Another giggle bubbled over and escaped you. You rubbed his arm.

“Think of it this way,” you said. “Now we can go pick out a new bed together.”

Beau tilted his head at that, and he nodded. A smile grew across his face.

“Now there’s an idea,” he said. It was probably too soon for him to broach the topic of moving in with you, but this could be a good first step.

“Right?” you replied in excitement. But there was something else dancing in your eyes. “We’ll just have to make sure the frame’s reinforced with titanium or something, because goddamn.”

Beau couldn’t help but laugh. He dropped his forehead against your shoulder while his own shook. You held him to you and didn’t bother to try and hide your own amusement anymore.

One thing you knew for sure?

There was no way in hell you’d ever let him live this down.

And one thing he would never tell you…

Beau Arlen was damn proud of himself.

AN: 😂 Well then. That was fun, and I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Keep Reading:

Here’s a one-shot set a couple of months after this one. It’s called S.I.N.G.:

Summary: Beau wishes you’d take this self-defense lesson a little more seriously.

▶️ Next Story: S.I.N.G.

Ko-Fi Me ☕

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[buggybambi]

lost in translation | carmen berzatto

you get a job working as a waitress at the bear. if only you knew it would get you here. ─ 3.68k ─ angst and fluff, breakups / fighting, some cursing, reader is younger then carmy.

THE STRANGERS PHASE

The first time you and Carmen met was when Nat and Richie had hired you as part of the Bear staff. 

A waitress, and a sweet looking one at that. Younger than him. "You guys finally settled on a candidate?" Carmen asks as Natalie and Richie watch you from the small window in the kitchen.

You sit there for a moment before adjusting the silverware, passing Richie's test almost immediately. "I believe we just did." Nat confirms. Carmen takes a look for himself and swears his heart skips a beat as he watches you for a brief moment before clearing his throat, having to pull himself away. "Okay. Cool." He brushes it off.

He didn't get the chance to meet you right away, not until the night before their soft opening. You'd been through training, getting used to the system at the Bear and getting accompanied with staff. All but one. The head chef and owner, 'Carmy' as everyone called him.

"Hey, you're the new hire, right?" A voice asks as you shut your locker. You jump a bit, as you turn, smiling. "I am." The male nods, holding out his hand. "Sorry about scaring you. I'm Carmen Berzatto, don't think we've had the chance to meet." He introduces.

You accept the handshake, swearing you feel a little spark between you two just from touching him.

───

From there, it was like clockwork. You and him would get stuck closing together, and each night you'd dive into a new part of his past. "So, what made you wanna open this place?" You question. He exhales, momentarily pausing his movements of scrubbing the counters before he sniffles. "My brother left it to me after his death."

You pause, staring at him. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked-" He laughs. "You couldn't have known. It's okay, really. I actually wanted to work here, or what used to be here, for the longest time by his side but he didn't let me. Never knew why. It was the thing he left me in his will." He gives a more in depth answer.

You nod slowly. "I'm sorry about that, Carm. His death and not letting you work here." You specify as you look at him. "If it's any comfort, I think your brother would be really proud of what you've turned this place into." You say.

He nods, sniffling again. You set your rag back in the soapy water, sighing as you mark off your final station to clean on the clipboard.

"See you tomorrow night?" He asks as you begin walking to the lockers.

You smile. "It's a date, chef." You confirm. He blushes at the idea of you and him being on a date.

───

Carmen swore to himself he'd take you on an actual date. The planning was easy, it was actually asking you that he found to be a challenge.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" He asks, trying to sound as casual as he can the next night when you two are closing, which didn't come for almost a week. Though he was grateful, it also felt like torture having to wait to get you alone.

"No, I'm not actually. Chicago hasn't exactly been my Paris, you know? City of love and all that bullshit." You answer as you stare at the chore list for that night. "Check the mayonnaise labels. Does Nat think our mayo is expired?" You question.

“Nat thinks all of our stuff is expired one way or another. It doesn’t expire ‘till the nineteenth of May.” He grabs out a knife to start chopping the vegetables. “Anyway, Chicago isn’t really known for its romance.” He points out.

"So I've been told." You stare at the menu. "What's a vegetable medley?" You question as you look back up at him, catching him staring at you. He clears his throat and quickly sets the knife down, wiping his hands on a towel. "Uh, it's a bunch of veggies like green and yellow bell peppers, asparagus and squash topped with balsamic vinegar.” He answers.

You nod slowly. “Only you can explain something like that and make it sound so good right now, Carm.” "Did you eat today?" He doesn't hesitate to ask. "Haven't had a chance to. Richie had me running around all day with the new system, but don't worry, I'm gonna make myself something at home."

"No, come on. I'm- You're not driving home hungry like that. It’s a safety risk. Sit." You go to protest before he repeats himself. "Sit."

The entire night was spent with you and Carmen eating his way too fancy dishes and talking. Sharing memories - childhoods, dreams, stories.

He likes to consider it your first date.

You like to consider it the night you fell in love.

───

You weren't sure what you and Carmen were after that night in the kitchen. Or how to even ask. Do you just come right out and say it? Is there a specific way or time to ask? Google provided zero help, so it was up to you to solve this one.

Maybe that’s what was driving you and Carmy apart for the next week: your mind trying to run through how to even approach that with him. It wasn't until he ambushed you at your locker that you were forced to approach the topic with him. "Not talking to you all week has been driving me insane. Are we okay? If dinner was too much.." He lets his voice trail off.

You smile, as you exhale. "Carmen, I loved dinner. I was just unsure of where we stood. Thought I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out if that was a date or not." You admit. He stares at you, nodding slowly. "Let me take you out to an actual dinner. A real date night." He requests.

You nod. "Okay, I'd like that." You barely have another chance to speak before Richie's calling your name. You place a hand on Carmen's shoulder as you pass him, giving him a small smile before you rush to find out what Richie needs you for.

Carmen watches you leave, wishing you'd come back to him.

Carmen had thought of your date night perfectly. A romantic, rooftop dinner overlooking Chicago’s nighttime streets. “You bring all the girls up to your rooftop, Berzatto?” You question as you stare at the cars passing by.

“Only the special ones.” He’d answer with a grin.

You wished he kissed you that night, but he didn’t. Instead he settled for dropping you off at your apartment before leaving. You could tell he wanted to kiss you, too, but he wanted to wait.

"So, you and Carmen?" Sydney asks as you help her open the Bear that morning, cutting vegetables up with her. You sigh, a smile on your face regardless. "How'd you hear about that?" You question in return.

“It’s the Bear. There’s no such thing called secrets when you work here. Everyone knows everything about everyone. Now, you and Carmy?” She asks again as you laugh. “There’s nothing going on between us. He and I got dinner a few times, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere.” You say with a shrug.

She stares at you, noticing the blush in your cheeks. You grin. “Don’t even. Nothing has happened between us.” You reiterate. She laughs, grabbing her bucket of vegetables. "Whatever you say!"

You roll your eyes, turning and staring at Carmen in the doorway. There he goes again, staring at you when you aren't looking. It doesn't slide past you that he has a noticeable sparkle in his eyes.

───

Of course the universe would have it out for you and Carmen to close together that night. As you two stand over the counters, cleaning them down, you decide to ask the question that had been plaguing your mind.

"What are you and I?" You ask, looking up at him for the first time. His scrubbing stops, as he looks back at you. "I want us to be together." He answers honestly, and you're a bit taken back by his honesty.

“You seem like you’ve thought about this.”

“More than you know.” Translation: I’ve thought about you.

You nod slowly as you walk over to the sink, beginning to wash your hands. "I want us to be together, too. I just don't want this to be weird between us because we work together, you know." You voice your concerns as you grab the towel, drying your hands.

You turn, finding him standing behind you. "I don't care if we want us to be together. I want us to give.. us.. a chance." He says, taking your hand in his. You stare at your hands interlocked as you hum. "Carmen."

"Yes?" He asks softly.

"If you don't kiss me right now I might just walk out and not come back." You tease.

He doesn't have to be told twice, and he kisses you like he's been thinking about it. Like he's been needing that. Hands cupping your face, yours finding his waist.

You didn't need much of an answer as to what you and Carmen were after that.

THE LOVERS PHASE

You and Carmen had agreed: the staff didn’t need to know you two were officially dating. If it was important enough to share, sure. But other then that, you two wouldn’t go around publicly announcing it.

Turns out, dating Carmen wasn't much different from being friends with him. Except now you were in the kitchen at two in the morning, slow dancing with him.

It'd started with dinner that night. Him holding you from behind,

Frank Sinatra plays lowly on the radio as he spins you around, with you grinning as you sway with him. “Who taught you to dance, Berzatto?” You question.

“Nat did. Taught me for her wedding. Said if I looked like a fish outta water she’d ban me from the reception.” He answers with a lovesick grin. You laugh, throwing your head back. “Sounds like Nat.”

He smirks. “And who taught you?” He asks in return. You hum as he pulls you closer to his chest, as Sinatra’s ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ plays. “I did. Convinced myself when I was a little girl I'd be like Misty Copeland.” You answer.

He grins. Only two weeks had gone by with him being officially yours, and he was falling in love with you. Maybe that’s why it spilled out as he held you close.

“I love you.” His voice is hushed.

You pulled away only a bit to look at his eyes. Maybe searching to see if they were genuine, if he said what you think he did. "Carmen..." You smile, a laugh coming out. "I love you, too." You repeat it back to him.

"Take the too out. Makes it sound like you're just agreeing." He requests softly, lips brushing barely against yours. You giggle at his plea, but comply anyway. "Carmen, I love you." You say it again, this time it feels more real.

Two weeks in, and you two are in love. If you knew any better, you'd assume you were screwed.

───

"What do you wanna do with your life?" The question startled you as you and Carmen sat on the balcony of your apartment, overlooking downtown Chicago. Buildings illuminating the night sky, car horns blaring every few minutes from the nighttime traffic.

"I wanna open a bar. Maybe go to Los Angeles or New York, just open my own place. You know?" You hold your knees up on the patio chair with you, a cup of tea in hand. "Some dive bar but... fancier. Live music, live entertainment."

He nods slowly, grabbing out his notepad. "Get out of Chicago?" He asks. You laugh. "Pretty much. Don't get me wrong, I love this city. This just.. isn't the plan." You say with a shrug.

"Mm." He says, scribbling something down on the paper. You lean over, staring at it. "What are you drawing, Berzatto?" You question. "Nothin'. It's a surprise, if I show you it now it won't be a surprise." He points out.

You grin as you lean your head back. "Okay. What about you? Is the Bear your final dream?" You question, still looking over at him. He sets the pen down, looking over the skyline. "I don't know. Though until I met you I had all my dreams and goals figured out."

"Don't say it-"

"You're my new dream." He grins, looking over at you. You laugh, rolling your eyes. "That was unbelievably cheesy, Berzatto. I don't know if I can ever look at you the same after that." You tease.

"You don't have to look at me to kiss me." He points out as you roll your eyes, standing up. You give him a quick peck as you open the door, stepping halfway inside. "Don't take too long getting to bed, okay? It's cold out here." You comment.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He waits until you're fully inside to pull back out the notepad. Sketched on is a logo for a bar, your bar. Your name written in what he imagines is neon lights. 'ANGEL'S BAR'. The way he views you, an angel. His angel.

He hums, standing up and making his way inside, the notepad tucked under his arm. He finds you in the living room, sorting through the mail. “Hey, hey, my old college roommate’s getting married. New York. What a terrifying city.” You laugh as you set the invite down, before his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you down to the bedroom. 

───

Carmen had spent so much time in your apartment that it practically felt like his own. So, the idea of asking him to move in wasn’t totally crazy. His clothes were now hung up in your closet, his cologne and cedarwood soap lingered.

Your relationship with Carmen had grown, so much so that you were now spending time with his family. You stood in the kitchen of the Berzatto home. Your first family dinner with them, and it had been more drama filled then a soap opera. Soft music filled the room, cinnamon roll scented candles lit making the house smell like a bakery. Your scarf hung on the staircase banister. 

"First official Berzatto dinner. How ya holdin’ up?" Sugar asks as she slides beside you, handing you a glass of wine to match her own. "Oh you know me so well. It's going.. as good as I expected it to be. Are they always this chaotic?" You question.

"Hell yes. The Berzatto family has never been calm, y'know?" She laughs. "But you seem to be fitting in nicely. And this is the first year of us doing one of these that Carmen truly seems happy, I think you're to thank for that."

You grin. "Well, as long as he's smiling." You and her watch him in the living room, chasing down the younger family members, laughing as they tackle him down to the floor.

"Yeah, well, I've seen Carmen with other girls before, and none of them have made him this happy. So, on behalf of the Berzatto family, thanks for bringing us a smiling Carmy." She raises her glass to you as you laugh, lifting yours as well.

Carmen watches as you clink glasses with Nat as he enters the kitchen. "You two doing good in here?" He asks. "Oh, we are doing wonderful. I should go find my husband." Nat says, smiling and walking out of the kitchen.

You sigh, setting your wine glass down behind you on the counter. "Hi." He greets, arms wrapped around your waist. You hum, wrapping yours around his neck. "Hey you." You reply, pressing your lips against his.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” He says quietly after he pulls away, placing his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

You smile, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m glad too, Carm.”

───

Arguments in relationships are common. They’re healthy, they bring growth. You and Carmen had a fair share of disagreements but never ones where he called you the name he did tonight: clingy. 

“Can you just fucking leave me be for a second?! I don’t need you crowding me and being so- so fucking clingy.” Right in the office of the Bear, as you made sure he understood what was happening with Syd’s plans. 

Now here you were, in Nat’s living room. “He probably didn’t mean it, you know?” She asks softly as she pushes some of your hair out of your face, wiping tears that fall down your cheeks. “I think he’s just been so worried about our mom, her issues and the Bear.”

“What if he did mean it though? What if.. What if he was just with me out of convenience or pity?” You voice your worries. She shakes her head. “I have never seen Carmy as happy anywhere else as he is with you. He loves you, Y/n. He wants to be with you, no one else.” She replies.

“You don’t call the people you love clingy.” You point out. She sighs, letting you lay your head on her shoulder. No matter what she said, nothing changed how you felt. Carmen thought you were clingy. Whether subconsciously or not, he thought it. 

The thought made your heart ache. 

───

You were younger than Carmen, you knew that much from the moment you met him. But it had never been an issue in your relationship, until now it seems. A simple, offhand comment about kids and marriage you had made to Syd. You wanted those things, and you wanted them with Carmy. 

That’s what landed you in this position on a cold night, with him sitting on the armchair in front of you and you on the floor, crouched to try and read his eyes. Find any sign that you could get past this. 

“We’re just on different paths. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get this close to you. And I should have stopped myself before I hurt you.” Translation: you’re still young and I can’t hold you back.

He didn’t stay after that. His clothes still hung in your closet, with you on the floor of the living room. 

Translation: what now? 

THE ENEMIES STAGE 

“So, plans for you being in New York?” Diane asks as you and her sit on the rooftop of her apartment building. You sigh, as you lean back on your chair. “Drink a lot. Forget my relationship problems in Chicago and hope for the best.” You answer with a nod.

She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You can’t expect to fix your relationship in different states without talking.” She points out as you look over at her. “When did I hire you as a relationship therapist?” You tease. “Carm and I will be fine.” 

You couldn’t find the translation anymore for what “fine” meant. 

───

The wedding was gorgeous. Diane looked stunning and her husband was the sweetest man. The sun was setting over Manhattan, as you sat at the open bar perched on the rooftop. Staring at the missed call from a familiar contact: ‘Chef’s Kiss’. Carmy. 

Maybe you had asked him for too much. Wanting kids, marriage. He’d give them to you if you asked, you knew that. But the idea of him just putting up with that just to keep you? 

You didn’t return his call or any of his texts. Instead, you kept quiet until you returned to Chicago a week later. A box perched on your apartment doorstep with your belongings. Jewelry, shirts you left at his place. All of them except for the scarf that still sat on Donna’s staircase banister.

Maybe he kept it because it smells like you. Or because it reminded him of something pure. The one thing he really knew was now gone, and the scarf was a fragment of that. 

───

It didn’t shock any of the staff at the Bear when you turned in your notice and stopped working there. Or when you took the couch you and Carmy used to sit on during late night conversations and moved it eleven hours with you to New York. Along with his hoodies, the one you wanted to keep most because it smelled like him still. 

You didn’t delete the videos or photos you had with him. It feels too real if you do. 

You stared at the kitchen. Where he used to hold you, scolding you for how you handled knives. The balcony, where he told you that you were his new dream. The living room where he’d kiss you like it was the first time. The bedroom, where some nights, he made you his own, and others he held you while you slept. 

The only thing you found in the apartment that was foreign to you? A piece of notepad paper, with “ANGEL’S BAR” drawn on the front. You stuck that in your pocket as you made your way to your car. 

It hurts to look at. It hurts to think about him. 

Now it’s just you, in your hundred square foot apartment that you share with a roommate now. You manage to delete the playlist of songs that he loved swaying with you to in early mornings in kitchen lights. You learn his favorite melody by heart: stranger, to lovers, to enemies.

─── 

Closing that chapter of your life, you focused more on opening Angel’s Bar. His logo on the front, in downtown New York. Soft piano playing as chatter fills the room, drinks being poured in the corners. 

It may have just been Carmen’s luck to find you on opening night, chatting around with the customers as he watched from the window, a familiar red scarf wrapped around his neck to help fight the cold air.

Translation: it reminds him of innocence. It reminds him of the better part of himself, the one you brought out in him.

Carmen learned to take lessons from break-ups pretty early on into his life. The one he got from you?

“Falling in love isn't for the weak. So don't try it at home.” He closes the book that he was given as an assignment for his AA class.

Maybe you were his favorite melody after all.

𓍢ִ໋🔪 ♡₊˚ 🧣・₊✧

shine on, shine on, my loves!

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my carmen berzatto masterlist here for more fanfics!

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- mae

[fastcardotmp3]

Eddie Munson does do the whole rock star thing, but it doesn't quite go the way it did in the daydreams of a sixteen-year-old kid trying to stay awake in school.

He leaves Hawkins after the world doesn't end, gets himself out there, takes all the hurt and fear and fucked up shit and puts it into a handful of good enough songs to get himself signed.

It's not quite the genre he grew up with, not quite something any of his idols might have played, but only because it is so entirely Eddie, so influenced by where he's been and what he's seen that it kind of doesn't fit one specific influence.

It's new and it's good, is the point. Really good. And he skyrockets fast enough to give himself the spins.

He's recognizable and then he's famous and then he's too famous and too young to know what to do with it and too far from home and everyone he loves to really cope with it and it's just.

Eddie isn't built for it. Eddie hasn't even processed the fact that he was maybe supposed to die in that place, or the fact that he did watch people better than him actually die, but he's out here shooting to the top of the charts and being called the next big thing and it's too much.

It's just enough, at the end of it all, for him to self-sabotage his way out of being more than a one-hit wonder.

One big hit, a contract broken by the guys at the top with the fancy lawyers because Eddie has become the too much thing, just like always, and it's over as quick as it started.

He disappears, becomes one of those whatever happened to him? he was supposed to be the next big thing? stories that travel by word of mouth and then fade with the shift in conversation.

So what does happen to Eddie Munson?

He falls hard, he hits rock bottom, he crawls his way home to an uncle who deserved for Eddie to really make it, make him proud, have him financially set for life and get him into a real house with two stories and a garage to park the truck in, maybe even a yard for a dog.

He spirals and isolates and falls apart and stops letting himself make music at all and makes some personal choices that will probably have lasting effects on him for the rest of his life and then somewhere along the line a girl with hair like tangerines and terrible aim manages to smack him with her cane and says if I learned to walk again, so can you, asshole.

There are people in his life again after that, a reason to get out of bed and realize that he can make Wayne proud in more ways than the one he'd already fucked straight to hell.

Eddie watches a bunch of kids graduate high school and then he packs up and chases down some people who pulled him out of hell once before up in Chicago, crashes on Steve and Robin's couch until he gets himself a job painting houses and they can afford three bedrooms instead of just the two.

He cuts his hair, not short but shorter, and he gets more tattoos and itches for the guitar that sits in a case under his bed, ignores it. Itches for the pen in his hand, ignores that too.

He's still barely past his mid-20s and he still has some fucking around left to get out of his system, some finding out to accomplish doubly so, but he learns as he goes no matter whether it's forwards or backwards.

He falls in love and falls out of it, gets fired from jobs and tracks down new ones, gets into fights with his friends because they're all a little fucked up and codependent and weird but makes up with them for the same reasons.

The thing with Steve happens slowly, going from tolerating each other for the sake of knowing they'll always be on the same team to genuinely liking each other to discovering a care between the two of them that's a bit too strong to be normal about even if it still takes them a half-dozen so-called turning points to really name it and take it and keep it.

Eddie's 33 when they buy a condo together on the outskirts of Chicago two weeks after they fall into bed with each other for the first time, and he's over a decade on from being a kid who rose to the top too fast but it doesn't feel dissimilar, that sensation of a too-good thing that's bound to go wrong.

Only this time he doesn't try to sabotage it, tries the opposite, tries to hold it tightly in ways that would probably be too tight for anyone other than Steve Harrington with all his deeply intense feelings and inability to love at anything other than an eleven.

It's in the move that Steve finds a box of notebooks, snoops because it's who he is, and finds years worth of words that never made it past the tip of a pen but did, eventually, make it that far.

And it's not an easy thing, convincing Eddie that they're words worth sharing, because Eddie doesn't want it to be an easy thing. He can't let kind words shoved into his orbit by a beautiful man be enough to make it feel worth it, can't see a world where sharing his art doesn't end in another great big self-induced mess that he can't let happen when he's finally found something good.

He doesn't want to go on tour and get screamed at on stage and, besides, he's pretty sure the rest of the world doesn't want to scream for him anymore either, but then Steve has to go and remind him--

"You don't have to be the face of it. You can just be the words; you are so fucking good at being the words, Ed."

Which still isn't quite enough to be convincing, but it's a start in a solid six months of the words coming easier now that he has someone to share them with, someone to listen as Eddie plucks away at a guitar that sits out in the open now, free of dust.

It stops feeling like something shameful to hide, his music, and the thing is? It doesn't feel how it did back then either.

It's not an escape or a purge of violent energy or a distraction from everything he didn't know how to think about. Sure, it takes all of that into consideration because it takes the whole of Eddie into consideration, but more than anything it's just fun.

Like he's thirteen and still learning how to play the guitar, like it's just a hobby that never has to go anywhere, like it's just art that maybe deserves to be heard.

Everyone pitches in on ideas when they find out he's trying to come up with a pseudonym, and it's goofy and supportive and kind of the final straw in reaching out to old, burned bridges to see about any new artists looking for equally new tunes.

The first time Eddie and Steve catch familiar lyrics being sung by a new hotshot band on the radio, Eddie cries not because he's jealous or disappointed, but because it feels right.

He doesn't like being up in front of the crowds, had only ever walked across tables and made himself big and scary and loud out of self preservation, would always rather his biggest performances be for the people he knows really care.. Besides, after everything he's survived he's learned, albeit slowly, that he really likes the freedom of the quiet.

This way he still gets to say what he has to say, gets to throw his hat into the ring of an artform that he loves without selling his soul to a machine that tried to eat him alive (trust him. he knows what that feels like.)

Of course, someone is going to put 2 and 2 together eventually, the industry isn't as big as it looks and pseudonyms only pull so much weight when you went out in such a spectacularly messy and memorable fashion, but Eddie's got his condo in Chicago.

He's got the guy he shares it with in his bed.

He's got two cats and a windowsill full of plants he's going to keep alive this time, Steve, just you watch.

He's got his uncle settled in Indy these days, a small place with a small yard.

He's got music, too. Turns out even his own tendency to self-destruct couldn't take that away, huh?

It's what got him out of hell alive, after all.

[asunsetgrace16]

✧ 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦⎥𝗖𝗕98

Pairing: Connor Bedard x fem!reader

Summary: After a long, hard practice, Connor comes home to his girlfriend and a classic makeout on the couch

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, Connor giving reader hickeys, technically underage drinking since it’s set in Chicago

Notes: This is my first fic ever, so please go easy on me. I am really proud of this, since so often I write something and think it is horrible, so this is a big step for me.

masterlist⎥ navigation

Word Count: 1.1k

Connor unlocks the door with a sigh. Practice was rough and the weather has turned to shit. He toes off his shoes as the scent of onions and garlic meet his nose. A smile creeps onto his cloudy face when he thinks about the person behind the mouth-watering food. The one who sees Connor in a way nobody else can. The one who knows him. 

He grins –fully this time– when he hears the music playing softly in the background. You can take a girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl.

“Y/N, baby, I’m home”, he calls out, hanging his coat up and grabbing his phone.

“In the kitchen” she replies just as he walks in, “How was practice?”

“Rough. Harder than normal. Defense was put through the wringer, after that last game, and Richardson made us do sprints. We have got to get our shit together. A few guys were a little green by the end. Is there anything you need help with?”

“Just grab the wine out of the fridge. I had Janelle pick it up for me.Oh, grab the salad too. Greek tonight”

Connor heads around the island to the fridge, first stopping at the stove and wrapping his arms around his girlfriend. She relaxes into him, leaning her head back on his shoulder as his temple meets hers. They stand like that, eyes closed and relishing in the feeling of each other, finally. They sway gently to the beat of the music, a classic country love ballad that is one of Y/N's favourites. Y/N’s fingertips danced along his forearms before linking their fingers. 

“I fucking hate long distance. Maybe I should try and transfer to school here”, Y/N says quietly, feeling tears well in her eyes.​​

Connor chokes up at her words, inhaling a shaky breath before he speaks. This topic is one that was discussed hundreds of times while Y/N was applying to school. They both knew it would be hard, but as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. 

Hearing the tears in her voice, Connor swallows the lump in his throat and replies, “I know, baby, I know it sucks. I hate it too. I wish you were here more, and that I had more time to come up to you. But we can do this, let’s not take a moment we have together for granted.”

She turns in his arms, giving him a proper hug, holding each other close. He kisses her head, then kisses her lips tenderly. Y/N rests her head on his chest and feels the low thud of his heart. Connor drops a kiss to her shoulder and moves to get the wine and salad and the pasta is dished up. They discuss the happenings of the day over dinner, the momentary sadness over being apart evaporates. Connor shares animated stories of the Foligno kids and the better parts of practice. Both Connor and Y/N are wearing equally large smiles with love in their eyes. Their combined efforts have the dishes done, leftovers put away, and kitchen cleaned in record time. 

Y/N pours a second glass of wine for the two of them and she settles on the couch, tucked into Connor’s side with his arm around her shoulders. He turns on the TV, Modern Family playing quietly as they sit in comfortable silence. Connor’s hand runs down her arm, landing low on her hip. Her hand sits in his thigh, thumb slowly rubbing back and forth. Y/N breathes deeply, inhaling the fresh scent of the soap from Connor’s after practice shower and his spicy cologne that lingers on his shirt, feeling drowsy and safe and warm. She tips her head up at him, meeting his eyes. He has a gentle smile on his face, bringing his hand to cup her cheek. Connor strokes her cheek with his thumb before tracing the line of her jaw, his eyes taking in her face, committing every detail to memory. The colour of her eyes, freckles on her cheeks, her full bottom lip. 

His thumb catches on her lip, gently tugging it open before letting it go. He dips his head to hers, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss. Connor pulls back, but Y/N slides her hand around the back of his neck and brings their lips together again. This time deeper, more intense. She pushes up into a sitting position, her other hand finding Connor’s shoulder.

He grips her hip, holding her close and steady, other hand still on her cheek. He lets his tongue press against her lips, and she opens willingly. As they sink into the kiss, Connor grabs her behind her knee and pulls her to straddle his lap. The moment is all overlapping breaths and rushed inhales, searching hands and pure love. Both of Connor’s hands are on her hips now, slipping lower to grab her ass through her jeans. Y/N’s hand threads through his hair before tangling in his grown-out curls at the nape of his neck. Heavy breaths and light moans filter through the room when Connor kisses down Y/N’s neck, dragging his tongue over her jaw. His hands slide under her shirt, wandering over her bare back. He pulls her closer by a belt loop.

He peels her shirt off, and she returns the favour. Y/N tips her head back as Connor moves down her neck and along her collarbone, sliding her bra straps down. She lets out a breathy moan and moves to clutch his shoulders, she feels the firm muscles move and ripple under his warm skin. He pauses, nipping and sucking at her skin. The air is warm in the apartment, thick with tension. His hands sit firmly on her hips. Once Connor is satisfied with the mark he left, he moves a little lower, repeating the process again, and again. 

It's a good thing it is winter, once Connor is done and moves to kiss her lips again. Y/N winces a little when his fingers brush the new bruises.

"I'm sorry baby." he whispers against her mouth.

She simply smiles and says back to him, "No, you're not, and neither am I. I love it just as much as you do."

This closeness, the intimacy of the moment is something the two cherish when they are apart. Connor pulls Y/N into his chest, holding her close. He draws shapes lightly along the bare expanse of her back, goosebumps rising in their wake. Her hands find hair, playing with the ends. Their foreheads rest against each other, eyes closed and arms wrapped around each other. Contentment and drowsiness replace hurried desire.

Connor stands, setting Y/N on her feet. Offering her his hand, he says, "Come on love, let's get to bed."

[lottins-only]

https://www.tumblr.com/lottins-only/768953075788644352/send-me-a-song-title-a-player-and-ill-write-a

little things ~ ella mai & jude 🫶🏼

little things - jude bellingham

A/N : got carried away and this ended up being longer than a drabble lol

the life of a final year university student during exam season is pure chaos. you're no exception: for the past couple days, you've been stuck in a loop of caffeine fueled days and long, sleepless nights. you've been so buried in exams and papers that you couldn't even go to your boyfriend jude's champions league away game.

you follow the match on a grainy stream from the library, and when he scores a beautiful goal, you jump from your seat so suddenly you startle the person sitting across from you.

you: YOU SCORED. so proud of you bby 💗

jude: thanks babe

jude: flight lands in about an hour. mind if i come straight to your place? you know i won't be able to sleep if i don't 😚

its true. the adrenaline after an evening game usually means a sleepless night for him. but that's not an issue when you're around. you have a calming effect on him, your mere presence in those times lulling him to sleep.

you: ofc. i'll be at the library for a couple more hours, but you have your key right?

jude: yupp.

jude: i’ll be there. make sure you eat something, yeah?

you: yes, dad.

jude: don’t “yes, dad” me. i mean it. i know how you get.

a couple of hours later, you trudge back home, exhausted. all you want is to curl up in bed with your boyfriend and sleep, but you can’t. the paper due at midnight, the one you thought you’d finish before leaving the library, is proving more difficult than you expected. so unfortunately you have to get it done before you can even think about resting.

when you unlock the door to your apartment, the sight that greets you makes you pause. the space that had been ground zero for your finals week chaos is now spotless. papers that were stewn all over the place, now organized neatly on your coffee table. the dishes that had piled up on the kitchen sink are washed and put away. floor swept, cat's litter box cleaned.

he's standing by the couch, airpods on, carefully folding your throw blanket. when he sees you there, his face immediately lights up. when you reach him, he pulls you into a tight hug and kisses your forehead, his arms wrapping around you like a shield. as always, being in his arms feels warm, grounding, and above all, comforting. it hasn't even been 48 hours since you last saw him, but it feels like you've been apart for weeks.

"you okay?" he asks softly, brushing a stray strand of curls from your face.

"no," you say in a panicked voice. "i’m not done with my paper, and it's due in like two hours."

"hey, it’s okay,” he says, squeezing your shoulders. "i can help... i think"

he says the last part cautiously, and you start laughing - but stop when you realize maybe he can help.

there's no time to waste, a couple moments later you sit at your tiny kitchen table, you on your laptop and him on his ipad , the same google doc open on each screen. your job is to write the actual paper, while jude does the citations.

“so, are we doing apa, chicago, or... something else?” jude squints at his phone with a confused look on his face, as if he’s reading a foreign language. you suppose for him it might as well be.

“chicago,” you say firmly, not looking up from your screen.

“got it,” he replies, setting his phone aside and rolling up his sleeves like he’s actually about to get his hands dirty.

and then you start working. for more than an hour the only sounds filling the room is the sound of keyboards clicking. jude works with the same focus and intensity you’ve seen from him when he plays football—brows knitted, his lips slightly parted as he carefully organizes the citations at the bottom of the document.

every now and then he mutters under his breath in a frustrated tone. “wait... is this a journal article or a book chapter? never mind, i got it.” or: “fuckin hell, who publishes something without a visible date?” each time, you answer without hesitation, grateful he’s doing the most boring, tedious part of your work for you.

at one point, your cat leaps onto the table and sits right next to jude’s ipad. he barely glances up, one hand absentmindedly scratching behind the cat’s ears while his other continues to scroll through a citation guide. it makes your heart swell, seeing him like that. superstar footballer who just scored in a champions league game mere hours ago, now sitting in your cramped kitchen giving your cat affection while helping write your essay. only jude. my sweet angle, you think to yourself.

“okay,” you announce finally, leaning back in your chair and stretching your arms above your head. “i think i’m done.”

“that’s my girl!” he exclaims, suddenly leaping up from his seat. before you can react, he picks you up from your chair, effortlessly lifting you into the air.

“jude!” you squeal, laughing as he flips you over and sets you back on your feet, his hands steadying you as he does.

you poke his chest, laughing. “couldn’t have done it without you.”

“obviously. who knew i was so good at this?” he kisses the top of your head. “think i'll charge you by the hour next time”

you roll your eyes at him, but inside you're just happy. happy to have submitted the essay, and happy you have jude as a boyfriend.

the stress of the night has melted away, and you feel a little lighter. you have an exam tomorrow at nine for a econ elective you regret not dropping, but there's no turning back now. all you can do is push through. in a couple of days, it will all be over.

with that somewhat encouraging thought in mind, you make your way to your bed, ready to pass out. and you almost reach it too, until jude pulls you back into the kitchen.

"you need to eat," he says sternly. he points to the takeout box sitting on the kitchen counter. "got that on my way here"

"i’m fine," you protest weakly as he heats up the food in the microwave. "i honestly just wanna sleep now"

"no, you’re not fine. you've barely eaten all day," he replies. when the microwave pings, he pulls out the food and plates it for you before putting it on the kitchen table, gesturing for you to sit.

you roll your eyes at him but comply. jude leans against the counter, watching you eat quietly, reassuringly. you can tell by his eyes he's tired too. undoubtedly drained from a physically demanding match, with the only sleep he's had since being a nap on the plane. yet here he is, prioritizing you above his own rest without a second thought.

“you didn’t have to do all this, you know,” you say in between bites. “cleaning, helping me with my paper... you should be resting.”

he shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “you’re more important. i’ll rest when i know you’re okay.”

his words make your chest tighten, and you have to look away. it overwhelms you sometimes, his kindness and thoughtfulness.

when you finish eating, you go over to the sink and wash the dishes. jude leans against the counter, arms crossed, watching. he tells you all about his trip: the surprisingly good airplane food, the awful water pressure in the locker room showers, the cute baby he'd taken a picture with at the airport on the way back. the mundane details he can't help sharing with you, his way of showing you even when he's away, you're the biggest part of his life.

afterwards, you both do your nighttime routine in companionable silence before crawling into bed. the covers are soft and inviting as you settle in comfortably. jude pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist as he settles behind you, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder that makes goosebumps rise up on your skin.

the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is jude's low, sleepy voice murmuring "finally"

in the morning, you're rudely awaken by an insistent shake on the shoulders.

“y/n wake up,” jude says softly.

you groan, burying your face deeper into the pillow. “five more minutes,” you mumble, still half asleep.

“you don’t have five more minutes,” he says, his tone shifting. “it’s 8.40. you’re gonna be late for your exam.”

that does it. you sit up so fast you almost get dizzy, the panic hitting you hard.

“oh my god!” you gasp, throwing the blanket off and scrambling out of the bed.

you quickly brush your teeth and get changed while jude, bless him, packs your bag for you. when you emerge out of the bathroom fully ready, he's waiting for you with your backpack, all packed and ready to go.

"did you—?"

he nods, his lips quirking into a small smile. “yeah. laptop, pens, calculator, everything. and here—” he tosses you an energy bar, which you catch clumsily. “ eat that on the way.”

"you're a lifesaver" you say as you slip on your shoes.

"go ace it, baby" he holds the door open for you while handing you the bag.

you pause by the doorway, giving him a grateful look. "thank you. again. you're the best you know, that right? all the things you do for me, it's just..." you let out a breath. "i love you so much"

he gives you a lingering kiss. "i love you too" he murmurs against your lips. "and i know you'd to the same for me"

he’s right. when he’s had a bad day, you’re at his place in no time, ready to listen if he wants to talk or to put on one of his favorite movies if he doesn’t. when he's craving it, you cook him his favorite meal. when your schedule allows, you ride with his driver to pick him up from training, just because you know he loves seeing you waiting for him. all the little things you do for each other, all the everyday acts of service. the sum of which is the way you show each other that you care, that you love one another. and isn't that the point of a partnership?

"i'll text you after i get out okay?" you murmur, giving him one last peck on the lips.

you pull your backpack over your shoulder and head out into the day, feeling ready as ever.

[citrusandcyanide]

Can't Lose You | L.G.

Part 2

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x f!Reader

an. Okay this part is a lot shorter than I expected just cause I think it was a good place to end the scene. I got more coming, but this had to stand on its own. I forgot to mention in the last part that I changed Lips college to UChicago instead of Chicago Polytechnic. Also Thank you for the kind messages and reblogs!!! They really motivate me to write and put out chapters quicker. Thank you for the love <3333

Synopsis. Lip doesn't want to go to college unlike his best friend who has her mind set on leaving Chicago and her feelings for Lip behind. Lip won't let her leave so easily.

words. 1.2k

Warnings. Drinking. angst, swearing. idk clutch your pearls.

Part 1 Part 3 (Final)

“Berkeley…” Lip said as he held the acceptance letter in his hand. “California.” 

“Cali-fucking-fornia,” You said with a grin, giggling a bit from the beers. You had gone through more than a few. You were tipping over the edge of tipsy. Lip was going at a much slower pace. You were laying down on his bed while he was sitting on the edge of it. His eyes kept scanning over the paper. His expression was bare. You were too gone to care what he was thinking. “I fucking did it. I’m fucking out of here. All that work, fuck… I was hoping it would do something but I didn’t think it would.I got in. to BERKELEY. THE UC BERKELEY.”

“I’m proud of you, kid,” Lip applauded, but his voice didn’t show any enthusiasm . You stood up to grab the letter from him. Only then did you notice his clenched jaw and dissociated expression. You stared at him until he looked over. He straightened his back and handed you the letter. “I’m sorry it’s just far.” 

“Yeah that’s the point: Far. Away. Not here,” You replied, rolling your eyes. You knew he would do this, but you thought he would at least try and pretend to be happy for you. This was all you had been wanting, a life outside of Chicago. But he couldn’t bring himself to entertain the idea for a moment. He wasn’t going to let you leave easy. 

“What about the, uh–what’s it called? The institute. ISA something,” Lip asked. You interrupted him briefly to correct him before he continued.  “That’s a perfectly good option.” 

“Why? I told you I don’t want to stay here,” You sighed and fixed your position on the bed so you were fully facing him. 

“Yeah but is it really that bad here? It’s not sunshine and rainbows but it’s fine. It’s not like Berkeley is gonna be any different,” He said, looking at you fully. There was something behind his eyes you couldn’t quite place. Like a part of him was offended you wanted to leave. You didn’t like it. 

“There isn’t anything left for me here.” The excitement left your voice. You stated it plainly. It was a fact. There wasn’t. Lip wasn’t yours. Lip had never been and never would be. You had no other attachment to Chicago than him. You waited long enough for something that wouldn’t happen. Lip scoffed. 

“We’re here. Our friendship, us,” Lip said, pain evident in his voice. He was taking it personally that you were ignoring the fact he was here. He didn’t realize he was exactly the reason you needed to leave. “Is it selfish of me to say that I don’t want you to leave me behind?”

“You have your own ticket out. You are personally capable of leaving on your own,” You quickly replied. It hurt you having to justify your reason for leaving to your best friend when he’s known how important it’s meant for you this whole time. He couldn’t be happy for you for a moment without thinking of what it meant for himself and his life. 

“I’m not going to fucking Boston,” He replied offended, shaking his head in disgust. 

“There’s nothing keeping you here. That’s your choice,” You argued back. You weren’t going to let him paint himself out to be the victim. He had equal the chance to leave Chicago behind and start something good for himself. You wanted that for him. You desperately wanted to see him succeed and find happiness outside of what your current life had to offer. He just couldnt see the same for you.

“You’re keeping me here. We– Us,” Lip turned fully to face you. His eyes pierced deep into yours. It didn’t sound like an excuse. He said it and you could tell he actually believed it. It was the first time in years that he was admitting that a part of him needs you in his life. He cared about having you with him. He cared that you grew up together. That you were his other half, but it was delusional to believe the two of you hadn’t been growing apart. And whatever this is was a plea to hold on to what was left. 

“Stop repeating that as if it was a thing. There hasn’t been an us in years,” Your voice was stern. 

“But there can be. Me at UChicago, you at SAIC. a few miles away from eachother,” Lip put a hand on your knee. “I haven’t been fair to you or your feelings and I know what I said before but not having you here is so much worse—” 

“Don’t bring my feelings into this.” You winced. You shut your eyes in an attempt to control your emotions. 

“It’s not just yours,” He argued. 

“Stop.” You kept your eyes closed. 

“They’re mine too.” You felt the bed move under you as he inched closer to where you were sitting. 

“Stop.” 

 “I love you–” You cut him off before he could finish. 

“Don’t say that. You don’t want me. I know how this will go,” You said opening your eyes. The alcohol had made you dizzy but your head was as clear as day. You’re heart was pulling you towards him and it made you angry. “ You’ll keep me here and play with someone else’s heart instead cause you think it’s kinder than to do it to me, but you are playing with my heart. All of this is hurting me. You’re hurting me.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” He reached his hand out towards you. You quickly pulled it away. 

“You can’t help it,” You spat back. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as your rage began bubbling instead you. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He shook his head and tried to reach for your hand again. You held your own close to your chest. Clenching your shirt over your pounding heart.

“You don’t love me.” With each of his words you felt your walls being chipped away. 

“I do,” His voice sounded like he was pleading. 

“You don’t want me.” You were convincing yourself, not Lip. He was your weakness. He always was.  

“Y/n, if you stay I’m yours.” 

The world stopped. As you looked at the boy in front of you, your walls broke. He won. Lip gets what he wants and he wants you to stay. To give up the dream you had been working so hard for and you were about to. He was offering you another dream.

“Let me be yours… please,” He pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper. Your hand fell into his. He gently pulled you forward to him, closer and closer until your noses touched. You closed your eyes. His lips touched yours. How could you ever say no to Lip Gallagher?

~~~~

an. poor Mandy lol

[noellawrites]

Girl Next Door - yandere!Carmy Berzatto x reader

summary: Carmy becomes obsessed with the sweet coffee shop owner next door.

warnings: stalking, masochism, breaking and entering, nudity, masturbation mention.

The coffee shop had appeared seemingly overnight. Or maybe Carmy just hadn’t noticed until you knocked on the door to The Bear with a big coffee traveler and an even bigger smile.

“Hello! My name is (y/n) and I own the coffee shop next door, River North Roastery!” you said without prompting once Carmy opened the door.

Carmy nodded in recognition, vaguely remembering Mikey and Richie talking about some cute young woman taking over the shop a few years back.

Your sunny disposition and high energy levels at seven o’clock in the morning were astonishing. Carmy hated it, but had to respect it.

You handed him the cardboard traveler and it weighed down his arm, causing him to set it down next to the door. You lingered in the doorway and continued speaking to Carmy.

“I just wanted to bring this by for you and your employees, since you’re all working so hard. Your brother would be really proud. I remember when I started working next door and he’d come in for a black americano, small. Really sweet guy,” you babbled on as Carmy remained silent.

“Uh, thanks,” he finally mustered, looking up and finally seeing your face. You were young, a few years younger than him, and you looked at him as if waiting for some sort of approval.

“You’re so welcome! And let me know if you need any help,” you said with a smile.

Carmy watched, entranced as you turned and walked next door back to your own establishment.

You stayed on his mind for the rest of the day, so unaffected that he could only nod as the rest of the crew talked about you.

"She's been there for a few years, wasn't always the owner though. Coffee's good but expensive," Marcus explained.

"Yeah, I think it's a family business of some sort. She definitely didn't build that place from the ground up. She's such a sweetheart though," Sugar recalls from the few times she'd been in your shop.

A flash of irritation ran through Carmy. It must've been nice, inheriting a family business that wasn't in fucking shambles. Not having to gut the place from the inside out, fish through stacks of improperly stored documents and pay thousands in back-taxes.

"I think she's around my age. I remember reading that story about her in Edible Chicago. She's championing sustainable coffee bean farming or something like that," Sydney piped up.

"Yeah, she's a nice piece of ass. I think Mikey tried to hit it, but of course she was creeped out, fuckin' Mikey. I would'a tapped that too," Richie chuckled.

A chorus of "ew, Richie!" and "ugh, gross!" rang out, causing Richie to put his hands up in surrender and leave to go smoke outside.

All this talk was pissing off Carmy even more. You seemed to have the perfect setup, managing a thriving business barely into your 20's. He'd bet anything that you didn't have to deal with someone like Chef Fields breathing down your neck, either.

He decided to do what he did best, though. Push his feelings down so deep that they had no choice but to eventually come out, even more toxic and volatile than before.

—

Another day passed with Carmy's thoughts only able to focus on you. The curiosity plagued him so deeply that at half past eight, the only thing he could do was walk over and order a coffee.

Blessedly, you were at the register, smiling and talking to customers as if they were friends.

As the line progressed, Carmy moved up towards you. When it was his turn, he stood right on the other side of the counter. Your eyes brightened and Carmy's eyes darted around, looking anywhere but at you.

"Oh my gosh, hi! It's Carmy, right? I'm so happy you came in. How are the renovations going?" you asked, smiling.

"Uh, it's goin' alright. Thanks again for the coffee, the team appreciated it," Carmy found himself saying.

"I'm so glad! What can I get started for you?" you asked, looking Carmy right in the eyes. Did you really have to do that?

"I'll, uh, take whatever my brother used to get,' Carmy answered, dropping his eyes the floor.

"Okay, perfect. Anything else I can get for you?"

"Nah, just the coffee."

"Alright, Mr. Berzatto! I'll have that ready at the end of the counter," you say kindly, signaling to the opposite side.

"Uh, how much?" Carmy said awkwardly, reaching into his pocket where he's stuffed a few bills.

"Oh don't worry, it's on me today! And here, I hope to see you again soon," you wink, handing him a frequent customer card with one punch on it.

—

Carmy had hoped the coffee would be disgusting. He dreamed about pouring it down the front of you, soaking your clothes in steaming liquid and watching you cry. He shook the thought away when he realized it sounded like something Chef Fields would do. But maybe that was part of the appeal.

And as much as he hated it, the black americano was the best he'd ever had.

Every night, Carmy was always the last to leave. He sometimes even slept in the office, slumped in the ratty office chair, head resting on the cold tabletop.

But tonight, he had a plan.

Tonight Sugar was the last to leave, asking an annoying amount of times if Carmy was okay. His big sister could tell that something was off, but she would never find out just what it was.

He pulled on a baseball hat, shoving an old ski mask in his empty pocket and locking up the restaurant.

Carmy loitered in the alley across the street for at least thirty minutes, watching you rush around to close up the shop. He must’ve chain smoked at least eight cigarettes while he waited.

Then, at last, you exited the shop, locking it behind you and saying your goodbyes to the older male barista who’d helped you close.

You started on your way to the closest L train stop, jacket and purse pulled close to your body.

Carmy followed about five yards behind, making sure he could still see you while not being close enough to freak you out.

Carmy managed to slide into the same train car as you. He took a seat in the way back, head down to hide his face under his baseball cap.

He watched you, calm and happy, and realized he was finally submitting to his urges. Since the moment he’d seen you, he knew what he wanted. He wanted to see you scared, vulnerable, all your confidence gone. And he was so close now.

Before long, you got off at your stop so Carmy did, too. You didn’t live too far away from the stop, above a Chinese restaurant.

Carmy watched from a distance, waiting for you to click on a light so he’d know which apartment you lived in. He toyed with the bobby pins in his pocket; he could pick locks, but was slow at it. Mikey had always made fun of him for that.

You clicked on your light and Carmy’s plan sprung into action. He entered through the (blessedly unlocked) side stairs beside the restaurant, taking extra care to avoid any loud footfalls.

He had to remain extra quiet as he worked the bobby pins inside your lock. It seemed as though you were taking a shower, as he could hear the heavy pattering of water, but he couldn’t be too sure.

It took a few minutes but he was in. The apartment was so utterly you. You had a custom coffee stand complete with a thousand-dollar espresso machine and a variety of what looked like homemade syrups and extracts.

You had warm lighting, large rugs, everything seemed to make your apartment look cozier and admittedly large. The apartment was much bigger than it looked from the outside and bigger than his own.

Carmy took off his shoes and crept carefully towards the bathroom, where the shower was on. Light music drifted under the door, which made him furious for some reason. How could you live like this while he barely survived, trapped in his own mind day in and day out?

The shower turned off and he could feel his plan being set in motion. Carmy positioned himself beside the door, ready at any moment.

The moment you exited the bathroom, Carmy pounced. He slammed you against the bathroom door, covering your mouth with his hand to prevent your screams.

Your towel dropped to the floor and your eyes alone screamed for help, welling up with tears. You struggled a bit at first, but Carmy was much stronger than you and subdued you in no time at all.

Carmy looked down at your naked body, feeling a sense of pride. You looked exactly as he’d pictured while he jerked himself off in the dead of night. And you belonged to him now.

[cosmicdreamgrl]

my gif wrapped 2024 🎊

(tagged by the lovely @raplinenthusiasts 💗, also there's an issue with the hyperlinks for some of these so bear with me)

january

jk season's greetings 2020: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/740314140498952192/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-2-cr-qdeoks

jk be room photoshoot: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/741033226949312512/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-6-𝘤𝘳-𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥

maknae line season's greetings 2020: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/740410109262479360/𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮-𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴-𝘧𝘰𝘳-jkvjimin-𝘤𝘳-𝘲𝘥𝘦𝘰𝘬𝘴

february

jk gma butter performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/742945686277046272/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-16

jin hair colour comp: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/741312054517972992/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦-𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳-𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴-𝘴𝘦𝘰𝘬𝘫𝘪𝘯-𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯-𝘧𝘰𝘳

jk photo folio #1: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/741402180002643968/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-8-𝘤𝘳-0613𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘢

jk calvin klein s/s 2024: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/742492809125330944/ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ-ꜰᴏʀ-ᴄᴀʟᴠɪɴ-ᴋʟᴇɪɴ-ꜱꜱ-2024

jk photo folio #2: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/742045664309100544/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-12

namjoon sbs super concert: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/742271804926836736/𝘨𝘰𝘵-𝘢-𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦-𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦-𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘮-𝘧𝘰𝘳-fireworksgalaxy-𝘤𝘳

jk mots on:e : https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/741774349097467904/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-11-𝘤𝘳-𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥

jk ptd in vegas: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/742167403998412800/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-13-𝘤𝘳-0613𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘢

march

jk mint hair: this was so pat coded it had to be done

jk golden album shoot: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/744485836050087936/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-25

jk for youth focus cam: one of my personal faves 💜

taehyung singularity tokyo dome: colouring this was- something alright

jk mots on:e (red): https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/744021436990144512/𝘢-𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭-𝘪𝘯-𝘳𝘦𝘥

taehyung black swan mv: yeah apryl asked for this basically

jin dna making film: when you randomly discover things that put your friends through it lol

jk calvin klein bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/744213439079202816/𝘫𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬-𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘷𝘪𝘯-𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘪𝘯-𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘵𝘤𝘩-𝘧𝘰𝘳

jimin 5th muster japan: loved this fit on him, so pretty

ot7 tokyo dome: this was just something cute for me personally

april

jk dionysus stage mix: one of my all time fave comps wbk

jk mots on:e bts: because i love suffering, also i killed it with the colouring

jk snty music video: everything about this = perfection

jin butter mv making film: kayla coded to a t, was only right to make this for her bday imho

jk snty mv bts: the first of my 'he's doing nothing but this means everything to me' sets, also the suit ya'll already know

yoongi mots on:e concept photobook bts: god tier look wbk

jk mots on:e bts #2: he's too beautiful, it needed to be commemorated

black swan music video: the icon the legend the moment

jk sys in chicago making film: *sighs dreamily*

jk snty promo bts: idk how this got so much traction tbh

jin pink comp: the colour comps are some of my greatest work, truly

kim line black swan comp: an inspired idea, i'm glad it turned out as good as it did considering some of the obstacles that arose

jk x red comp: what started out as a gift for a friend turned into a passion project & i'll always be proud of myself for all the time and effort i put into these

may

namjoon mots persona comp: the platinum was a serve wbk

jk dope performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/751461327466283008/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-60

jk 3d focus cam: he knew what he was doing jfc

jimin mots on:e concept photobook bts: petition to remove egregious yellow tones in footage, please & thank you

maknae line mots persona album bts: colouring this was a lot of fun ngl

jk calvin klein bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/749830461725048832/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-53

jin 2016 muster bts: what's the funniest anecdote & why is it that kayla wanted to gif this and couldn't but i ended up being the one to do it and i'm not even biased towards this man lol

jk dna mv making film: this is my all time fave era/album/title track, are we surprised? didn't think so

ot7 gda 2020 vcr: it baffled me to know so many people didn't know this existed, like? how? but also i adore the colour grading here, really lent to a cool look in the end

jk dreamers mv bts: i couldn't have picked a more apt caption, also this will always be one of my favourites for multiple reasons

jimin lys in seoul: i'm shocked at the reception this got tbh, it was fun to experiment with the sparkle filter for the first time too

ot7 magic shop fukuoka dome: i needed to commemorate them performing one of my fave songs, it'll always remain close to my heart, i can promise you that

june

jk dynamite performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/754178882478964736/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-74

jk x blue comp: yes i made myself a bday gift, what about it

jk for youth focus cam (i could kiss myself for how well i coloured this i kid you not): https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/752729693819731968/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-64

yoongi fake love making film: this turned out really pretty, go me

jk mots on:e concept photobook bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/753996667118845952/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-72

jk run bts dance practice: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/754269074615418880/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-76

jk esquire mag making film: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/754360068637605888/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-77

jk weverse video (supposedly for jimin's bday, the way i snorted because who uploads a glorified thirst trap as a greeting? this man smh): https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/754540999335903232/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-79

july

jk amas 2021 bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/756079005119184896/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-82

jk x pink comp: first time trying out a different aspect ratio/layout, would turn out to be one i really liked going forward

taehyung on/black swan comp: i don't get enough credit for working around interesting camera work for the sake of my friends, truly

jk louis vuitton bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/757078260153729024/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-86

jk 5th muster: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/757168451251044353/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-87-𝘤𝘳-𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥

jk ytc in busan bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/757530749307060224/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-89

august

jk amas 2020 performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/757984205685882881/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-91

jk dna mv making film #2: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/758165380230430720/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-92

jk ptd on stage merch making film: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/759343208225538048/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-98-𝘤𝘳-𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥

taehyung singularity stage mix: clearly i love torturing people lol

jk ptd on stage vcr making film: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/760068022103932928/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-101-𝘤𝘳-𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥

jk x black pt.1 comp: did i need to make two of these? actually yes, all things considered plus it was for his birthday, i rest my case

september

jk sys in osaka: i needed this as much as pat did, i love him the most wbk

jk anpanman performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/762785921883111424/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-110

jk dna show champion: i don't know how this got as many notes as it did, but it's nice knowing other people appreciate him in this era

jk time mag dynamite performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/762151510446669824/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-106

jin vogue korea #1: yes i giffed the whole thing, it had to be done

jin vogue korea #2: these two looks are my personal faves

jk dicon mag 2020: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/761789209655869440/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-105

jk x purple comp: keeping this a secret was so hard, simply because i loved the end product so much & i stand by that

jin dionysus mma 2019: this needs no explanation i think

taehyung blue hair comp: 'tis the month of all the bday comps, this was also another fave, it's so aesthetically pleasing to look at

rap line mic drop comp: we love evolving, this compared to the very first comp i made of them? i'm just saying

jk x black pt.2 comp: the way i felt burnt out after finishing this but i'm glad i got through it

october

jimin lys in nyc: apparently i really love shiny/sparkly outfits

jk vogue mag bts: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/765594512321118208/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-114

taehyung army zip: again i love being a menace, on occasion anyway

vocal line dimple stage mix: one of my greatest works, it makes me miss making comps but......we won't get into it

jk lys in chicago bts: just the prettiest boy being made even prettier, need i say more

november

jk ctdv live butter performance: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/765956924981280768/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-115

jin sys md making film: he just looked good, enough said

jk ptd in seoul: best believe i put myself through it when making this, he's so fine, it's unfair

taehyung dynamite era comp: it's odd seeing how everyone loves this comp because if i'm being 200% honest, idk if i do. like, i did my best with it but just- oh well

jk prom party bts: i have loved him in this fit since i first watched this concert, case closed

hobi fake love: it's always the ones you make on a whim that do well, strange but true

jk airplane pt.2 mama 2018: https://cosmicdreamgrl.tumblr.com/post/768312360893120512/𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦-𝘫𝘬-𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴-119

tagging: @cordiallyfuturedwight @jkvjimin @rjshope @btsiu @jung-koook

@kimtaegis @taehyunghobi & @btsjk-biased (no pressure as always)

[mundivagantsoul]

✩ Bookshopist Moonboys ✩

Part 2: "A, b, c, d-"

Moon Knight System x Reader

Summary: How the boys have been setting in at the shop

Warnings: Google translate Spanish, a bit angsty at the end with Marc’s self-doubt, coarse language, Marvel depiction of DID

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: Gave the boys particular fonts so the dialogue isn't confusing. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading :)

Steven

Marc

Jake

<- Previous | Masterlist | Next ->

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Steven navigates through the labyrinth of bookshelves with a pile of novels in hand. Lightly caressing the spines of various books, his eyes skim over the authors’ last names.

Humming the familiar tune that’s become a staple in their shifts, Steven starts, “A, b, c, d-”

A heavy Chicago accent interrupts his rhythm, “M, z, i…”

Steven sighs, ‘not this again’, he thinks, trying to drown out his headmate he continues, “E, f, g-”

“Q, l, u…” abruptly interrupts his thoughts again.

“H-”

“Y”

“I-”

“T”

“Bollocks, Marc, quit it!”

“Quit what? I’m just reciting the alphabet like you”.

“A-huh, sure you’re being a real help”

“You’re very welcome”

“Look bruv, I need to put these away, and I can’t do it with you distracting me every two seconds”

“Should've thought about that before you ate my food”

“For the last time, I didn’t eat your food!”

“A-huh suree~ First, you stole my wife, and now my food? Your old pals at the British Museum would be proud”.

“Oh for the love of- I’m sorry about Layla!”

“Ahem..”, a frail voice interrupts their dispute, peering down Steven is met with the comforting face of an old woman, “Sorry to bother you luv, can you point me in the direction of the cooking section?”

Cheeks warming up, Steven points towards the aisle, “Just go strain down here and turn right at si-fi, then a left at parenting, and it should be on your left”.

She smiles kindly up at him, “Thanks honey”, then plotters along with a slight wobble in her step.

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It’s been 3 months since they started the job, and Steven’s loving every minute of it. His presence is appreciated, and he’s surrounded by others who share similar interests. Plus, he doesn’t have an aggravating boss breathing down his neck every second, which is a bonus. 

The shop has a decent history and mythology selection. Since the Thor incident in 2011 and the revelation that god exists, people have become more intrigued by mythology. There’s lots of debate amongst mythologists and historians, arguing if the term ‘mythology’ is even correct anymore. Steven remembers reading a post by The Daily Bugle, stating, "Thor is a glorified space alien, and gods don’t walk amongst us." Little did they know.

The aftermath of the past decade and the revelations it brought have given way to more accessibility to novels regarding gods and deities, something that Steven has taken full advantage of.

In his first month of employment, he had managed to procure almost all the Egyptology books in store. Marc and Jake are constantly nagging him about it, stating they don’t have the room nor income to accommodate the influx of novels. Steven’s still trying and failing to convince Marc to turn their storage unit into a personal library, receiving the same answer in return, “We’re not turning the storage unit into your book-hoarding man-cave. We got this job to earn money, not spend it all on your addiction”.

After noticing Steven had managed to clear through all the Egyptology books, you felt the need to enlighten him with some bookshop wisdom. “You know…”, You say whilst ringing up Steven’s latest purchases, “You can order more Egyptology novels from our supplier. We don’t always have enough room to keep them on hand, but I know there’s a few we can get posted in if you're interested?”.

At your words, his eyes light up and you swear stars were floating amongst his coffee eyes, “Really?!”

“Ahí van nuestros ahorros” Jake facepalms.

Surprisingly, Jake has found himself enjoying work at the quaint store. The tasks are relatively simple, mainly involving manual labour, finding books of customers, and putting through sales. At first, he’d been nervous about working at the shop. He was closing in on 40, and the only thing he’d ever served was vengeance and cunt. 

Thankfully, everyone at the store was supportive and non-judgemental. You reminded him one shift, "Believe it or not Lockley, it's okay to be a beginner and make mistakes”. Plus having two supportive brothers and a cat that somehow knows whenever he's feeling down helped. On the topic of cats, Jake was delighted to know that he could bring Viejita into work. “Will be good to get you out of the house” he mumbled to the feline, “Can’t have you growing up socially awkward like your tío Steven”, “HEY!”

Similarly to Jake, Marc was surprised to discover the job wasn’t as tedious as he’d initially predicted. The atmosphere is calm, especially for a retail job, and requires little mental thought. It’s a welcomed change, especially as his employment no longer involves something trying to kill him - though some books in the backroom have had a few good whacks at it. Since they started, Marc's gotten back into reading comics and sci-fi, he’s however, trying to keep it a secret. Khonshu forbid Steven found out he’s hypocritically spending their income on books. 

There’s an unspoken rule amongst employees that if a text perks your interest you’re able to ‘skim a few pages’ to further your knowledge of company merchandise. Obviously, this only applies if you do it without altering physical integrity. All of the boys take advantage of this, finding a quiet corner in the backroom during their break, huddling up with one of the cats whilst eating lunch and immersing themselves in a new story.

Over the last 3 months, all the boys have had some interesting interactions with customers. In the first week, Steven had a lady yell at him about the price of a plastic bag - as if he had any input on the pricing. Marc and Jake were plotting murder for the full duration of the interaction. 

Marc had to awkwardly ask someone for ID because they wanted to buy ‘adult’ manga whilst their mum was present. He then had to explain to the mother why an ID was required. 

And just the other day, Jake had a lady come in asking for a book, only she didn’t know the title, or the author, OR the contents. Only that another bookstore in the area had in four months ago. He spent the rest of his shift questioning humanity's intelligence and pondering how we’ve managed to survive this long.

However, at the end of the day, all the questionable customer interactions are worth it because they get to see you. Your presence is now an anchor in their lives. A lighthouse guiding them out of thunderstorms and eternal seas that threaten to swallow them whole. From your enthusiasm when discussing a book, to the adorable face you make when concentrating. Every second they spend with you they become more infatuated with your being.

“We should ask them out”

“And risk them saying no then having to work with them afterwards? Absolutely not”

“We don’t know that they’ll say no, piensa positivo hermano”

“Okay, I’m positive they’ll say no”

“...That’s a lame comeback and you know it”

“I’m with Jake - not on the comeback comment, but on the fact that we don’t know how they’ll answer”

“It doesn’t need to be a date, solo cafe y pasar el rato”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Marc sighs. Of course he wants to ask you out. Both Steven and Jake know that. He’s just worried you don’t reciprocate their feelings and only see them as friends. Or that he’ll somehow fuck it up for both you and his brothers. Maybe it would be better if he retreated back into the headspace, giving Steven and Jake the freedom to be with you without the burden of his pres-  

Now it's Steven's turn to interrupt Marc. “Oi, we’re not havin’ any of that. We come as a package deal, remember? Burger, chips, drink ‘n’ everything. There’s no us without you, quite literally might I add.”

“Steven tiene razón, te respaldamos. Siempre.”

A small “meow” comes from his feet, looking down he’s met with the adoring eyes of Viejita.

“See even Viejita agree’s”

Mouth twitching up as his heart swells, Marc gives in. 

“Fine... Just coffee”

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Tag list: @0-ramen-0 @sunnyskyapplepie

Leave a comment or send me a message if you want to be added :)

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 You, Again Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD Have you ever been to New York (if yes, what's your go-to spot, if no, what's your favorite type of bagel)?❓ 🦇 When Ari and Josh first meet, the wrong kind of sparks fly. They hate each other. Instantly. A free-spirited, struggling comedian who likes to keep things casual, Ari sublets, takes gigs, & she never sleeps over after hooking up. Born-and-bred Manhattanite Josh has ambitious plans: Take the culinary world by storm, find The One, & make her breakfast in his spotless kitchen. They have absolutely nothing in common...except that they keep crossing paths. As they're both reeling from ego-bruising breakups, a chance encounter leads to a surprising connection: friendship. Turns out, spending time with your former nemesis is fun when you're too sad to hate each other--& too sad for hate sex. Can they stop hating each other long enough to fall in love?

💜 I have so many conflicting thoughts & feelings about this book. Prose that might seem witty & modern to some will come off as cringe (over-attempting at 'hip' & relevant) to others. Yet there's a sort of magnetism to the entire thing, like trying to look away from a train crash running in slow motion. The concept of two people constantly colliding (getting second & third chances to repair the bad first impression they made on one another) is definitely intriguing, & works perfectly in a setting like New York City. There's also something painfully realistic about hurt people finding comfort in one another, learning how to heal by helping the other heal. The underlying themes--healing, recognizing your self-worth, making your own legacy--resonate on every page. There's also a little love letter to New York here, the same way The Bear is a love letter to Chicago (& this book definitely screams The Bear vibes, for those of you who FINALLY watched it).

💙 Unfortunately, both characters are dreadfully unlikeable. They're both equally stubborn, & since this is an opposites attract romance, they clash constantly when they think they're in the right. Poor Josh has his heart wide open but moves too fast, while Ari has her heart under lock & key with unrelenting skepticism in relationships (in complete conflict with her carefree attitude). As much as I love my bi rep (especially during Bisexuality Awareness Month), Ari's sex-focused rep reads as problematic. There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex or threesomes, but it's almost used as Ari's main characteristic; an insulting cliche that bisexuals only care about one thing.

🦇 Recommended to fans of Will They or Won't They & Funny Feelings.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🍁 Slow Burn Contemporary Romance ❤‍🔥 Bi FMC 🍁 Chef & Comedian ❤‍🔥 Annoyances to Friends to Lovers 🍁 Opposites Attract (Commitment-Phobe/Hopeless Romantic) ❤‍🔥 Dual POV 🍁 Open Door ❤‍🔥 Angst/Hurt/Comfort 🍁 The Bear Vibes

💬 Quotes ❝ Better to be the one who walks away than the person who gets left behind. ❞ ❝ "I like being with you more than I like being by myself.” ❞ ❝ Right now, “just friends” is a comfortable certainty. A gravity blanket. A subtle vanilla-scented candle. And the alternative is a giant blinking cursor and a blank document. Sometimes it feels like Josh has already been poking around that page. Writing passages and deleting them before she’s ready to open it. ❞ ❝ "They’re the antidote to every little thing you hate about yourself. They can see past it when you can’t.” ❞ ❝ “No one should marry the person who makes them happy. Marry the person you want by your side at your lowest p- point. Marry the person you… you never get sick of. Who you always want more from. Who makes you proud to be theirs...If that’s your person, it’s worth the risk. Because your person will see the best version of you. They’ll have a whole list of reasons why they think you’re irreplaceable. And they’ll tell you.” ❞

[witchygagirlwrites]

First Christmas with:

@desimarie12 asked for first Christmas with our favorite one Chicago guys so here it is

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz

Let's start off this list with mine and her personal favorite, one Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz. This man, your first Christmas together you legitimately would not have to get him a single gift because he got to wake up next to you. He joined the army fresh out of high school and when he got out relationships weren't high on his list of priorities. When he got with you everything changed, he started seeing a future with someone for the first time.

Realized you loved Christmas when you started talking about it as soon as Halloween passed.

Started planning the day you started jabbering.

Let you decorate his place HOWEVER you want. I mean this man will walk through curtains of Christmas lights and tinsel to see a smile on your face.

"Greg is this too much?" "Do you like it sweetheart?" "Yeah?" "Then it's perfect"

Gingerbread house champion! You can barely get yours to stand up and he's next to you building a two-story mansion like it's nothing.

When you explained your family's tradition of matching PJ's when you presented him with a pair to match yours? Nothing could've made him happier in that moment. Was it a little silly to feel like something as simple as matching black t-shirts and grinch pants meant you were proud to call him yours? Probably. Did that matter to him? No.

You woke up Christmas morning to your favorite breakfast and coffee waiting. He *may* have set an alarm clock just to make sure everything was perfect for you.

The two of you open your presents from each other after breakfast as a way to start your day before making rounds to family and friends.

Can barely keep his arms from around you, even when you're trying to unwrap gifts. Lots of giggling ensues because of this, along with you both end up being covered in paper and him having a bow in his hair at one point.

The two of you end up at Jay's at one point during the day and Jay pulls you aside and thanks you, when you ask for what he nods towards Mouse who's talking to Will "I've never seen him so happy" you tell him he doesn't need to thank you because Mouse makes you just as happy as you make him.

Walking through the park with hot chocolate or coffee as a way to decompress after the chaos of all your loved ones before going home.

When you do make it home, you're changing into something soft and curling up together. Mouse lets you put whatever cheesy Christmas movie you want on. While the two of you are laying on the couch, watching it he finds himself staring at you. After a while you cut your eyes up at him "Are you ok Greg?" and he just smiles "I've never had a better Christmas than this"

Knows he's in love with you already but plans to tell you on New Years eve, if he can wait that long

Jay Halstead

Jay's a lot like Mouse with the fact of going into the army not long after high school. When he got out however he bounced relationships so much none of them lasted over two weeks, let alone until Christmas.

You were different. He knew it from the moment he realized he'd fallen for you, he wasn't messing this up.

When Christmas rolls around this man is a freaking perfectionist decorating his tree. He uses your favorite colors to surprise you.

Matching PJs because Will mentioned Nat got him and her matching pairs and he figured it was a good idea

Jumps at the chance to bake cookies with you

Christmas morning you nearly have to drag him out of bed because he wants "Just five more minutes"

Pulls you into his lap more than once while you're trying to get coffee or return phone calls/texts from family and friends

Heart eyes? This man invented heart eyes looking at you as you laugh at something Adam said once you two end up at Kim's Christmas party.

At the end of the day, he's barely getting his boots kicked off before he's tugging you down into the bed or couch and nuzzling into your neck "I just need to hold you for a little while" you laugh and give up the fight willingly.

You are almost asleep when he whispers "You're the best present I could've ever gotten" and kisses you gently.

Kevin Atwater

Kevin has always loved Christmas. Taking care of Vanessa and Jordan for so many years he took on the responsibility that parents did of making sure the magic of Christmas was alive and well and he took that role seriously even after the kids moved to live with his aunt.

He takes you shopping with him for decorations, stockings, everything. Gets you to pick out a stocking for his place that he hangs right along with his own and the two he got for the kids.

LOVES Christmas movies. Will spend hours with you in his arms watching everything from a nightmare before Christmas to Hallmark movies.

Everyone in his building does a cookie exchange and his peanut butter chocolate chip is legendary. He tried to show you how to bake them but you two got distracted and well the kitchen was covered in flour and the cookies burnt.

He got you a pair of PJs and slippers for Christmas eve just for the simple fact he wanted you comfortable

Since his biological family lives out of town you go to your family first come morning, your nephews love Kevin. They practically forget you the moment they see him. Your brother teases that they traded you in, but you can tell he's just happy that you finally found a good guy.

After your family you hit friends' houses. Adam and Kim are the last stop of the day. You're sitting in Kevin's lap when Kim snaps a picture and grins "Oh that's adorable" Kevin leans up around you and winks at her "I know, isn't she?"

Night ends with a video call to Vanessa and Jordan who asks when Kevin is coming to see them and his aunt makes him stumble over his words when she says "And I'd love to meet your girlfriend, Kevin. I see the way you look at her, I can tell she's gonna become family someday"

Antonio Dawson

Antonio was a little nervous when he started dating you. One failed marriage will make you gun-shy.

You ditched him on Halloween to hang out with Diego and Eva. He fell for you then and there.

By the time Christmas rolled around he was asking you what to buy the kids because he knew you would know.

He sits back and watches you, Eva and Diego decorate and dance to Christmas music. He's never seen a better sight.

The matching stitch jumpers were Eva's idea. She honestly didn't think her dad would go for it. You promised her he would. When you handed him the jumper, he raised an eyebrow "Love, I'm not wearing this" you crossed your arms "Eva wants us wearing them Toni" and that was that.

He had to admit, they were comfy

Helped to turn the entire dining room into a blanket fort Christmas eve with you and Diego.

Christmas morning you were up with the kids before him and woke him up with coffee and a kiss.

Making snowmen with you and the kids.

The horror of realizing BOTH of his kids have teamed with you in the snowball fight and he is officially on his own.

Taking you and the kids out to a late dinner.

After the kids knock out you and him curling up in bed and him whispering to you "You are the best thing I could have ever wished for"

Kelly Severide

Mr Severide. Mr playboy Severide. We all know Kelly has a reputation for love em and leave em. That was until he laid eyes on you.

You were standing toe to toe with some guy a good foot taller than you and not backing down one inch. He was sure his heart skipped a beat then and there.

The two of you started dating not long after that, somehow, he convinced you to go out with him. How? He had no idea and wasn't questioning it. He'd found his match, the person worth calming down for. The person who could reel his temper in with a touch, the person who he dreamt of a future with.

Christmas was time of year he always loved, even when he had no one to celebrate it with.

With you he knew it had to be special.

With help from your sister, he decorated his apartment while you were at work to surprise you. He also got her to go shopping with him to get your presents just to have another opinion on everything he was getting you to make sure you liked it. He wanted everything to be as perfect as it could be.

On the other hand? You could kiss him and say Merry Christmas and he'd be happy.

The matching PJ's your sister picked out were simple red plaid and red shirts she said you'd like so he went with you.

You ended up loving them and he made a mental note to buy your sister a gift card to her favorite coffee place.

Slipped out of bed before you Christmas morning just so he could have presents sat throughout the apartment for you.

Was more eager to watch you open gifts than to get gifts.

After the station house's Christmas party, the two of you went back to his place. He watched you move around his kitchen with a small smile, happy that you felt so comfortable there. You were making hot chocolate and talking about whatever movie it was you wanted to watch.

He wasn't a fan of hot chocolate but drank it like it was the best thing he ever tasted because you made it.

When you curled up in his lap he knew he was done for. Especially when you turned to smile up at him "Thank you for a really good Christmas Kelly" he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips before saying "Thank you for the best Christmas"

Adam Ruzek

Adam is a sweetheart; he really is but sometimes he gets a little too excitable for things.

Was he planning for your first Christmas by your first Halloween? Yes yes he was

Ya know the grinch? This man is the opposite of grinch, the anti grinch. Grinch's arch enemy. Adam loves Christmas. He helps Trudy with the toy drive every year (even if he acts like he doesn't enjoy it)

His tree is decorated in simple red and gold decorations but it's pretty and it suits his taste. If you wanted to add anything around his place, he'd be more than happy to let you. That was how he ended up with a snoopy train set on his counter after all.

No one would believe you but this man can make the most adorable gingerbread men you've ever seen.

When you give him matching PJs on Christmas Eve, he's like a little kid he's so excited. He snaps pictures to send to everyone.

Christmas morning he's dragging you out of bed and slipping a coffee into your hand just to show you the fresh snowfall and how the kids next door have made an army of snowmen.

Holding you in his arms while you open his gifts because he wants to see every reaction.

Loving any present you give him

The two of you make rounds to family and friends, ending back at your place since you started the day at his.

Curling up in front of the small fireplace and him kissing your temple before saying "I can't wait till next Christmas with you"

[zepskies]

Take Me Home - Part 5

Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 

Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 

AN: Welcome back, friends! We’re gonna start ramping up from here on out.

Word Count: 5K

Tags/Warnings: Angst and tension, a bit of heartbreak, a little Shakespeare, and another small cliffhanger…

❤️ Series Masterlist

Part 5: Not That Simple

“I’m keeping close tabs on Carla and Emily just to be safe,” Beau admitted. 

Your face became the picture of concern. But before you could respond, a man approached the table, tall and lean, with a shaggy cut of dark blonde hair. He wore a pair of faded jeans, boots, and a gray Chicago FD t-shirt. 

Your face paled, and your mouth parted in surprise. 

“Hey there, stranger,” he said with a smile. 

“Michael?” you gasped. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Beau’s eyes widened. Michael was younger than him, closer to your age. And cocky too.  

“Hey, baby,” Michael said. His smile quirked with charm, but his next words were anything but charming. 

“We need to talk,” he said, raising his brows.

“We actually don’t,” you retorted in a firmer voice. Cold even. You straightened in your seat. 

Beau saw none of your softness and good humor from earlier. This was a different woman, and he was actually proud of you for standing your ground. Though he realized then that he’d never gotten on your bad side. (He hoped he never did.)

Michael frowned, sighing through his nose. He seemed to expect your reaction, to an extent, but was still disappointed. His gaze slid to Beau. 

Seeming to realize his manners were lacking, he reached out his hand.

“Sorry for interrupting. Michael Hadley,” he greeted.

Beau stared at the other man’s hand for a moment. Instead of shaking it, he held all his true thoughts inside and flashed the newcomer an easy grin, as well as the badge on his belt. 

“Sheriff Arlen,” he replied, raising a brow. “So you’re Michael.”

Michael met your eyes briefly, then Beau’s again. Michael’s hand lowered back to his side.

“So she’s talked about me,” he said.

Beau’s eyes were sharper when they took the other man in. 

“Oh, believe you me, that’s not something to brag about, Mike.”

You had to bite your lip so you wouldn’t smile. Michael’s politeness thinned, but just as his mouth opened to offer a retort, Cassie and Jenny returned with the drinks.

“Hi, there,” Jenny said with civility (sort of), but her blue eyes raked over Michael in an assessing way. She’d clocked your surprise and discomfort from across the room.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to stop the party,” Michael said, making you want to scoff.

Of course you did, you thought.

“I’m Michael, her fiancé,” he tried to introduce himself with an outstretched hand. Jenny also ignored that hand in order to set down the drinks.

It gave you the opportunity to interject with some reality.

“You’re missing an ex in there. As in no longer, and wish we’d never been,” you said. You crossed your arms and met Michael’s annoyed look with your firm one.

He eventually sighed and rested a hand on the back of the booth, behind your seat. You twisted to face him, but you were purposeful in leaning away from him.

Beau had to just watch the scene unfold. He didn’t like the way Michael leaned in, crowding your personal space when you were clearly trying to create distance.

“Can we talk?” Michael asked you. “Please?”

For a moment, you paused with indecision. You didn’t want to make a scene here in the middle of a bar. Not in front of your friends, where half of them were police officers. You didn’t want to stop them from having a good time either.

You met Cassie and Jenny’s eyes, and finally Beau’s. Despite the controlled, almost lazy way he’d handled Michael, you could see he didn’t look happy. You sighed.

“Sorry. Give me a minute,” you said. You got up out of the booth and went with Michael to a somewhat private corner across the restaurant.

Meanwhile, Beau tried not to seem like he was keeping an eye on you two. Cassie and Jenny were too, while sipping on their respective drinks.

“What’s the story there?” Cassie asked.

“Cheating ex,” Beau supplied.

“Great,” Jenny said wryly. Her lips pursed as she met Cassie’s knowing frown. They’d been there before.

Cassie turned to Beau and bumped his shoulder with her own. 

“You okay there, Sheriff?” Cassie asked him. Beau flashed her a look that showed he was unsettled. 

“I’ve got another one to add to the punch list,” he replied.

“I can’t believe you’d ambush me like this!” you whisper-yelled.

Michael crossed his arms in defense. The two of you ducked a server who was coming in hot with a plate of buffalo chicken wings.

“You came all the way to Montana? For what?” you continued. “I already said everything I had to say to you last year. And at Mary’s funeral. Thanks again for that, asshole.”

“That’s such a lie! You wouldn’t even talk to me at the funeral,” Michael shot back. “And you haven’t been answering my calls, my emails. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to respect me,” you snapped. Though you couldn’t help the emotion making your voice shake, just a little. “You’re supposed to respect me, and my choices. That’s what you’re supposed to do. But I don’t know why I should expect you to start now."

You started to walk away from him, but he grabbed at your hand. You turned back around and jerked your hand out of his grasp.

“It’s over. It’s been over for months. Damn near a year,” you said. “What do you want?”

He looked down at you through sad eyes under his furrowed brows.

“I never wanted it to be over,” he said quietly.

“Well, you pretty much made that decision for us,” you said, crossing your arms. You didn’t know whether it was to stand firm, or to shield yourself. “And I’m done. Quite frankly, I could live the rest of my life without seeing you again.”

“Come on. You don’t mean that,” he said.

He genuinely looked gutted, which was the confusing part. You shook your head and tried to blink the frustrated tears out of your eyes.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” you said.

“I want to say I’m sorry. And I am, more than you know. I want…I want to ask if you can forgive me,” he all but pleaded. He touched your arms, not quite grasping. For the first time since you’d known him, he seemed desperate. “Look, you know how hard it was for me to come out here and beg like a dog, but here I am…because I still love you.”

You were shocked into silence for a moment, but not out of happiness.

Then, you had to sigh. You held up a hand against his chest, a subtle move at pushing him away. 

“I can’t give that to you. Even your apology is hollow. Because what you did…” you said, on a halting breath. “You did it to me for years, Michael. Pretty much from the beginning of our relationship, if it ever was one.” 

You shook your head as a tear made its way down your cheek. 

“And if you could do that, then you never really loved me,” you said.

Michael’s eyes fell away, to hide the emotion stinging in them.

“So…just go home,” you told him. “Be with Kate if you want. I could really give a shit.”

Once again, Michael held your wrist when you tried to leave, this time more gently. He met you with frustrated blue eyes. Those eyes you used to drown in. 

“She’s not you,” he said. 

You slipped out of his grip and uttered a laugh devoid of all humor.

“That, you should’ve known from the beginning,” you said.

He was hurt.

And when he was hurt, he tended to cover it up with anger. His jaw began to work with frustration.

“What, so you’re just going to run away? Live in this dusty piece of shit town until you die?” he said, with the derision you’d come to expect from him when he didn’t get what he wanted. 

“Go home, Michael,” you repeated. “I’m not going back.” 

“Everything okay?” Beau asked, when you finally returned to the table. He didn’t tell you that he, Jenny, and Cassie had been watching on standby, in case Michael tried to press his luck and get more grabby. It had taken everything within Beau to stay in his seat for the past ten minutes.

You gave him a smile and took up the shot of tequila Cassie had brought for you. You downed it and grimaced at the burn.

“I’m good,” you said, with a bit of difficulty. Part of you felt accomplished, that you’d faced Michael and hadn’t let him soften your resolve. Yet there was a big part of you—not so deep down—that felt like utter crap.

“Sorry for the unnecessary drama,” you muttered. 

Jenny gave you a more serious look. One that said she had no problem stepping in if she needed to.

“If you ever feel unsafe, just let one of us know,” she said. 

“That’s right. If he doesn’t leave it alone, all you need to do is call,” Beau added. Cassie echoed that sentiment with a nod. You met Beau’s gaze, despite the uncertainty inside you.

If you need me, call me, his eyes said. 

You nodded then, with a thankful smile. 

Beau couldn’t help it. He felt protective of you. It welled up in his chest and simultaneously felt heavy like a stone. And he could admit, if just to himself, that it was in the personal sense. 

He tried to remember that his life was complicated right now. Too complicated probably, for all of that…but he cared about you. And he didn’t want to see you hurt.

Out of the corner of his eye, Beau spotted Michael Hadley at the bar. He was drinking a beer with an angry frown, and no good written all over his face.

Carla called Beau in a tizzy yesterday morning. 

Not only had Avery bought a gun, but he’d given her some unhinged, quasi- “If I die” speech that had freaked her the hell out. 

In searching Avery’s vacant hotel room, Beau found the missing pages of Paige’s journal. Pages that contained a seed phrase passcode to unlock the $15 million crypto account she and Luke had stolen. 

If Avery had those pages, then it only confirmed that Avery had made a play for the money in order to save his failing business. He was attempting to break the encrypted code to unlock the account, likely for the shady-ass people Paige stole the money from in the first place.  

Naturally, Beau had gone looking to bring the man in for questioning. He’d found Avery at a different, much seedier hotel, being led away by another man who walked and talked like a killer. Beau rightly assumed he was a hitman, gunning for Avery, and quite literally about to take out the trash.

Maybe the people he was working with were tired of waiting on him to unlock the account. Or maybe he’d already done it, and now they’d decided they didn’t need him anymore.

Beau was able to save Avery’s life, shooting the hitman. Then he’d arrested Avery. In return for that save, Avery had been giving Beau the runaround all night, with a side helping of audacity. 

“What’s your plan here, man?” Beau asked. He leaned forward in his chair across from Avery’s. A narrow table lied in between them within the small holding cell for questioning. 

“New identity? Thailand? Or maybe you’re not into the whole heat thing. Maybe Winnipeg,” Beau posed, with all due sarcasm. “You see, these people don’t forgive. And they don’t forget. And the ones that steal from them rarely die alone, which means you have put Carla, and you’ve put my daughter into danger. Did you even think about that?”

Right about now, Beau himself was beyond forgive and forget. In fact, he was irate. But he held it all down beneath a thin line of professionalism, despite the fire in his eyes. 

Avery rested his elbows on the table as well.

“Everything I’ve done has been to protect my family. That’s all you need to know,” he said. “You on the other hand. You’ve made quite the mess, haven’t you? Killing that man put us all in more danger.”

He then leaned back in his chair, as if he held all the cards, and Beau was just a monkey wrench in his plans. It was a good front, but Beau saw right through it all. Avery was bluffing through his ass.

Still, he put on a good show.

“And now I’d very much like to speak to my lawyer,” he said. 

It took everything within the sheriff to stop himself from reaching across the table, grabbing the other man by the collar, and yanking him down hard on the table, face-first. 

Instead, he got up from his seat, deceptively calm. The only explosion of his rage came when he kicked his chair hard on his way out, making it slide across the room and hit the wall. He yanked the cell door open and closed it firm behind him.

He knew he couldn’t hold Avery, not even on Paige’s journal pages. As Avery had so cleverly pointed out, the money hadn’t been reported stolen (why would criminals drop a dime on themselves?). So Beau would let Avery go, for now. All he could do was wait for the cocky son of a bitch to mess up, even more than he already had. 

Beau hated waiting.

But his next step was returning to his office and calling Carla. He asked her to join Emily in staying with him, until this thing with Avery blew over. Likely the people he was working with knew where he lived, knew how to find Carla and Emily. 

Carla sounded shaken even on the phone, but she agreed.

“Is Emily at work right now?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’ll tell her,” Carla said, releasing a breath. “I’ll take her to your place again tonight, and I’ll bring an overnight bag for myself.”

“Good,” he said. “Thank you.”

After hanging up, Beau leaned back in his office chair and covered his bearded face with his hands. He rubbed at his tired eyes. What the hell do I do now? 

The answer eluded him, especially when a knock sounded against his door, disturbing his thoughts. He sighed.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me,” you answered from behind the door. “I come bearing baked goods.”

Beau’s eyes widened in surprise. He beckoned you to come in, and so you did. 

“Working hard, or hardly working?” you teased.

The sight of you was a balm to his frayed mind. Your familiar face, your pretty yellow sundress, the way you’d done your hair. It all managed to kick up his smile at seeing yours. Not to mention the delicious smelling basket you carried on your arm. The top was covered with a red checkered cloth. 

“Hey, there. How’re you doin’?” he greeted, trying to hide the brunt of his former frustration and worry behind a more upbeat attitude. 

He knew he hadn’t done well enough when your smile began to fall. 

“Sorry, did I come at a bad time?” you asked in concern. “Deputy Poppernak told me I could stop in real quick…”

Beau shook his head and waved you in. “It’s all right. Come in, please.” 

He stood and walked around his desk to sit on its edge. 

“I have a feeling I’m gonna want whatever’s in that basket,” he added, nodding at the whicker you carried. You offered it to him, and your warm hand brushed his on the exchange. 

“Just a little something,” you said. “And an apology for making a scene at the bar last night.”

Beau frowned. “You’re not really blaming yourself for that, are you?”

Though he soon brightened, whistling lowly when he found a half dozen chocolate chip muffins under the checkered cloth. A smile grew across his face when it dawned on him. The first thing you offered him when he met you was this very same treat. 

He had a feeling your muffins would be even better. (...And he tried not to think about the potential double meaning there.)

“Damn, between you and your aunt Denise, I’m gonna have to start running again,” he quipped. His eyes met yours in amusement. “And between you and me, I freakin’ hate running.”

You chuckled at that. “I’m more of a yoga girl, myself.”

Beau’s brows rose in interest, but again, he tried not to picture you in some tight-ass yoga pants.

“Thank you for this,” he said, instead, waving the basket of muffins. He set it down beside him on the desk. “I definitely needed a pick-me-up today.”

You searched his face and began to frown at what you saw there. He both looked and sounded…tired, down. Not himself. 

You drew closer and chanced resting a hand on his arm. “Hey, are you okay?”

Beau glanced down at your hand. He took in a deep breath through his nose before he met your gaze again.

“Yeah, don’t you worry. Everything’s fine,” he said. You gave him a somewhat chiding look.

“Beau, you don’t have to tell me it’s okay when it’s not,” you said.

He considered you ruefully. He should’ve known you were perceptive enough to see right through him. Or maybe he was just a shit actor. 

He blew out a breath and nodded. “I asked Carla and Emily to stay with me for the next few days. At least until this investigation of Avery plays out.”

Your patient expression melted into worry. You had a feeling he wouldn’t do that unless things were truly dangerous. 

“See, that’s what I didn’t wanna see,” he said, lightly bumping a curled finger under your chin. Despite yourself, you smiled a little. “I just want them where I can see them, is all.” 

He was putting on a good front, but you weren’t convinced. And Beau could see that. He nodded at you to change the subject. 

“Has Mike tried to contact you?” he asked. It was your turn to let out a sigh.

“Only two calls and eleven texts before lunch, but I’m not answering. He’ll get the hint and go home soon,” you said. 

But Beau was perceptive too. He knew you well enough to read your added thoughts as you frowned and looked away. It said, At least, you hope he will. 

Beau wanted to reassure you, not just to help make you feel safe, but because his gut churned with both unease and anger at the thought of that guy harassing you. 

Beau reached out and gave into the temptation to stroke a thumb across your cheek, earning not just your attention, but your widening eyes. 

“Hey. No more worrying, huh?” he said. His voice was quieter, warmer. He gave you a smile, along with an assured look.

“If anything happens—” he started to say, but you actually beat him to it. You held his hand to your cheek, surprising him this time.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got the sheriff on speed dial,” you said. Your smile was sweet and teasing. 

Beau had to smile back. His gaze roamed your face. Then your eyes dipped down to his lips. There was heat between you, prickling across your skin and zipping up his spine. It was an inevitable, raw kind of feeling.

He wanted, more than anything, to lean in those precious few inches and find out what you tasted like… He wanted nothing more than to haul you up on this desk, hands sliding up the skirt of that sundress.  

But he held himself back with more self-control than he thought himself capable of. His hand fell away from your cheek. You looked up at him in confusion, and a bit of hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said, in a lowered voice. “My life is…complicated.”

“And mine’s not?” you countered.

“Not the same,” Beau said. “Trust me. I uh, I’ve got some things in my past that I’m not proud of. Let’s just say you’re better off steering clear.”

“Let’s just say?” you repeated. Your brows drew together in frustration. “Why don’t you just say it? God knows you know everything about my messy life.”

Beau sighed. His gaze fell away from yours. 

“It’s not that simple, darlin’,” he said. 

He saw your disappointment, tinged with disbelief. As much as he didn’t want to hurt you, he also didn’t really have time to explain things properly to you. The truth was, he didn’t have time for this. 

“Look—” he tried, but you cut him off.

“No. It’s fine, I guess,” you said. You looked down at your shoes and muttered, mostly to yourself. “Em was right. You are an old clam.”

“What?” Beau asked in confusion. 

You shook your head and withdrew from him. 

“Okay, sorry. I just…you know what? I need to go,” you stumbled over your words a bit, and you backed away.    

It had Beau feeling at a loss already, not to mention the lance of guilt hitting him between the ribs. He stretched out a hand to you.

“Wait—”

You were too quick for him to stop, however. He watched you leave his office in a hurry, and mentally kicked himself all the while. He sighed and looked over at what you’d left behind—the damn basket of muffins. They smelled heavenly. Torturing him. 

Damn it all, he thought, until he played back the reel of what you’d said in his mind.

“Old clam?” he repeated. 

Once again, a knock on his office door disturbed his thoughts. Except this time, it was Deputy Poppernak.

He stopped short, seeing the furrowed look of confused, guilty frustration on the sheriff’s face. 

“Everything okay, boss?” 

“Fine,” Beau said, shaking his head. “What d’you got?”

Poppernak hesitated for a second, but he held up a file that he passed along. 

“Here’s everything I could dig up on the guy from the hotel shooting,” he said. 

 Good, Beau thought. A worthy distraction. 

You gave Poppernak a belated wave on your way out. You didn’t want to answer any questions or talk to anyone else. You just wanted to escape to your car, where you covered your face with your hands and tried to breathe through the tears stinging in your eyes.

Once again, you felt stupid. Your heart was racing in the worst of ways.

So you peeled out of the police station and headed home…

Or rather, you almost headed home. When you saw Dewell & Hoyt P.I. coming up on the right side of the road, you turned into the parking lot and went inside to see if your aunt was working. 

Cassie wasn’t in, but Denise and Emily were. You greeted them both with warm hugs (and you tried to hide your frustrations from the latter, especially). 

“What brought you in, hun?” Denise asked. 

“Nothing really. I was just in the area and decided to pop in,” you replied with a shrug. Denise smiled and rubbed your arm.

“Well good. Em’s actually going on a coffee run for us. You want anything?”

“No, no, I’m good,” you said. 

“You sure?” said Emily. “I can get you a banana bread or something.”

You smiled and shook your head, touching her arm in thanks. “It’s okay, honey. I just had lunch not too long ago.”

“Okay. Oh hey! Did you ask Dad about being on the podcast?” Emily asked. 

You blinked as you went blank for a moment. The last thing you wanted to do right now was see that man (even if your heart called you a liar). You narrowly kept yourself from lying to Emily as well.

“Uh, yeah, we did talk about it. He’s on board with the idea,” you said, trying to give her a smile. Maybe it didn’t reach your eyes, but Emily seemed to buy it. She smiled back in triumph.

“Yes! Okay, this is good. Now I just gotta start thinking of some questions and we’ll set a date to record the first episode,” she said, doing a little fist pump into the air. 

You tried to match her enthusiasm, but you knew you were falling short. Denise could see it too. Lucky for you, Emily ran off to get to the nearby bakery, the excitement keeping her face bright all the while. 

Denise turned to you knowingly. 

“Okay, grab a seat. I’ll make us some tea, and you can tell me what’s got you looking white as a sheet,” she said.

You sighed and sat down in the lounge area—a seating of couches and a chaise. You sat on the couch while Denise took the chaise. And between mugs of jasmine tea, you told her everything that happened at the precinct when you went to visit Beau.

When you were done explaining, Denise looked contemplative and sympathetic. However, you knew there was more to that look. 

“Okay. Honey, I know you don’t want to hear this, but he’s in a complex situation right now,” she said. “Between investigating Avery, and how it’s falling back on Carla and Emily—”

“I know. He told me about that,” you said. You were worried about them too. While you didn’t know Carla all that well, your friendship with Emily meant something to you. And not just because you had some…unnamed feelings for her father. 

Your bond with Emily had started at that damned camp, and solidified the night of Mary’s murder. “Trauma bonding” was a thing for a reason. But besides that experience, you genuinely enjoyed the girl’s company, hearing her talk about her interests in school, careers she was considering after college, and even helping her explore her creative side. She was young, but she was bright and mature for her age. 

You cared about what all this was putting her through…though you finally realized that Emily might not be comfortable with the thought of “you and Beau.”

“I don’t want to upset Emily with all this either,” you admitted. “I don’t even know what she thinks of her dad possibly dating again.”

And something else you hadn’t considered. Could all this shakeup between Avery and Carla, not to mention her and Emily staying at Beau’s place now…

“God. Maybe he wants to get back together with his ex-wife,” you realized, with some small shock. 

It wasn’t inconceivable, and it had tears welling up in your eyes for a whole different reason.

"Oh, honey, you don't know that," Denise started to say. You shook your head and set down your tea.

“You know what? I’m just gonna go home,” you said, but Denise tried to keep you with gentle hands on your arms.

“Come on. You don’t have to go,” she said. 

You shook your head and eased out of her grasp. 

“Sorry. I just…it’s his choice, and if he’s already made it…” you trailed. You didn’t want to even acknowledge that your heart was fracturing. “Well, if that’s the case, then I have to respect that.”

Denise didn’t know what else to say to you. But that was just as well. 

“Tell Em I’m sorry, but I had to go,” you said. 

Denise protested, but you left Dewell & Hoyt before your tears could fall in earnest. 

When you actually got home, you were exhausted. It was a case of emotional stress weighing down your body as you forced yourself up the stairs to your second-floor apartment.

You didn’t bother changing. Instead, you grabbed a familiar book of plays from your desk and dropped yourself onto the couch. You got comfortable with Much Ado About Nothing. You hadn’t finished reading it while at the camp, and you needed to brush up on it if you were going to be mentally prepared for the coming school year.

It felt like a world away, but at least with the characters in Much Ado, you had familiar ground. In the scene you were reading, the main characters, Beatrice and Benedick, were already at each other’s throats:

BENEDICK: What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?  

BEATRICE: Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come in her presence.  

BENEDICK: Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none. 

BEATRICE: A dear happiness to women. They would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood I am of your humor for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

It was hard to believe that these two were supposed to fall in love. Actually, their later “epiphanies” would lead them to realize that the sniping and the arguments and the misunderstandings between them had been love all along…

But you’d come to realize that there was no “Benedick” for you in real life. Sometimes, the angry sniping wasn’t sexual tension. It was just a man who’d never truly respect you.

And sometimes, the arguments and misunderstandings were just two people in the right place at the wrong time, never quite meant to be. 

Thankfully, a knock at your door interrupted your romantic musings. 

Releasing a sigh, you set Much Ado on the glass coffee table in front of you. You got up from the couch and went to the front door, where you looked in the peephole. Your lips drew into a frown, but your disbelief had you unlocking the door before you could think better of it.

“Michael?! What are you doing here?” you asked. 

He stood there with determination set across his face.

“We really need to talk.”

AN: *Sigh.* This guy just doesn't learn, does he? And I'm not just talking about Michael.

Next Time:

“If you give me one more chance, I promise I won’t mess it up again. I’ll be the man you deserve,” Michael said, taking your hand and uncrossing your arms in the process. 

“Believe it or not, I took a week off without pay, just to be here and get a chance to say this to you: I love you. I love you. And I know now that it’s meant to be you.”

You hesitated, and even made the mistake of looking up into his eyes.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 6

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[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Hi! This is a fic rec of my favorite fics that take place in a small town. These fics are organized by word count from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Given A Chance by fabby / @fabby1d (173k)

Five years after One Direction took their last tour, the last thing Louis Tomlinson ever expected to happen while on a tea run at the local Piggly Wiggly was to run into his ex-boyfriend and ex-bandmate Harry Styles.

The odds of them ever running into each other again had to be super slim, right?

Wrong.

What happens when you mix ex-boyfriends with a large serving of Small Town America? Will Louis and Harry be able to set aside their differences, or will Louis be able to stay breezy as fuck in the wake of Harry’s arrival?

(or, the one where Louis and Harry run into each other five years after One Direction ends and learn how to love each other again. Featuring: Reggie as the overweight labrador, Niall as Louis’ last grip on reality, and Nowheresville, North Carolina as the setting for Louis’ worst nightmare to come true.)

Wild and Unruly by 100percentsassy, Gloria_Andrews / @100percentsassy, @gloriaandrews (123k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

I'll Fly Away by juliusschmidt / @juliusschmidt (122k)

Harry and Louis grew up together in Lake County, Harry with his mom and stepdad in a tiny cottage on Edward’s Lake and Louis in his family’s farmhouse a few minutes down the road. But after high school, Louis stuck around and Harry did not; Harry went to Chicago where he found a boyfriend and couple of college degrees. Six years later, Harry ends up back in Edwardsville for the summer and he and Louis fall into old patterns and discover new ones.

ft. One Direction, the local boyband; Horan’s Bar and Grill; families, most especially children and babies; Officer Liam Payne; many local festivals and fireworks displays; and Anne Cox, PFLAG President.

Halfway Home by itsmotivatingcara / @itsmotivatingcara (103k)

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson were improbable childhood friends, much to Harry’s dismay. They were thrown together each summer when Harry was forced to visit Louis’ grandfathers’ ranch in Black Hills, South Dakota. With each passing year their friendship blossomed into something more. When trail rides turned to stolen kisses, and tragedies turned to confessions, until they could no longer deny the inevitable draw they felt for one another.

Though life and their future plans soon set them on different paths.

Ten years later, Louis is the proud owner of Halfway Home Wildlife Refuge. Harry returns to the ranch to escape the perils of his past in London, and though their memories still haunt Louis, he won’t let that deter him from his goals. However, someone has been keeping a close eye on the refuge, and possibly Louis specifically, and Harry’s return may have unleashed more that just old passions. There’s a hunter lurking in the Hills, someone who’s decided they’ve bided their time long enough.

Apple Pie Baked Just Right by 28goldensfics / @28goldens (92k)

“You’re sweet, thank you.” Harry was speaking so quiet it was almost eerie, but his fingers squeezed against Louis’ hand again. “I already feel like I can pretty much be myself with you. I’m glad you moved here, I’ve needed a friend. I hope you keep getting that breath of fresh air you need here.”

 Louis’ heart felt like it could pound out of his chest and onto the floor in front of them.

 “I’m starting to think I will.”

Louis has to get away. The news of his father’s terminal diagnosis, the loss of his job, and the breakup with his girlfriend leads Louis to leave for a life of slower things in the small town of Cedar Hills.

His new neighbor is the Cox Family Apple Farm. Harry Styles, the oldest child of the Cox Family, might just teach him how to live life a little simpler, bake an apple pie, and breathe.

Here In The Afterglow by fondleeds / @fondleeds (88k)

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

-

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

(Take Me Home) Country Roads by Awriterwrites (86k)

“Sir, I can help you. Just let me — “ He tried moving closer but the eldest child blocked his way. He backed off, putting his hands out in a passive gesture. “I’m a physician. I can help,” he tried again.

The man shook his head vehemently, passing the cup back to his grandchild. “Tol’ ya. Don’t need ya.” All of the fire had gone out of his voice, leaving behind a frail, sick old man with barely any breath to talk.

“I have medicines...I could make you comfortable…” Louis’ voice was still small, but pleading.

“Mountain Mama cares for wha’s ailin’ me. Don’t need no fancy city doctors.”

Louis blinked at the man, still shaking from the coughing spell. Mountain — well, fuck. That backwoods, uneducated scam artist…

“Of course he is,” Louis said curtly. ***** OR a Northern Exposure AU featuring Louis as the big city doctor, Harry as a natural healer, Niall as a secretive barkeep, Liam and Zayn head over heels for each other but they don't know it and a lot of hurt, comfort and moonshine in between.

So Keep My Candle Bright by whisperdlullaby (78k)

Louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

That's What I'm Here For by taggiecb / @taggiecb (46k)

Louis Tomlinson is a dairy farmer on a tiny farm in eastern Canada. His wife of nearly thirty years has left him and his children are all grown up and out of the house. Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking. Luckily for him his children know just the man for the job.

Home Calls the Heart by itsmotivatingcara / @itsmotivatingcara (44k)

A series of unfortunate events lands Louis Tomlinson in the heart of Texas. After running from his life in London and a performative marriage, he leaves a scandal in his wake. Home calls the heart, as his Nana always said. Though her words couldn’t be truer when he decides to take up her offer to watch over Hyacinth ranch while she travels abroad.

He figured the worst he’d have to deal with would be the meddlesome goats, some repairs and an errant spirit or two. That is, until the gorgeous Cowboy next door makes his presence known.

or

A romcom au.

The Best Kind of Bad by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze (40k)

Nobody really understood Harry and Louis. Not even Louis. But for Louis, the world began and ended with Harry, and there were certain things he just wasn’t capable of explaining.

or Louis is the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for Harry.

Our Little Corner of the World by brownheadedstranger (29k)

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom's diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

Not That Gone Series by abrighteryellow / @a-brighter-yellow

Hello My Name is Harry (2k) Louis’s 20-year high school reunion takes a turn when a celebrity classmate – who also happens to be Louis’s long unrequited crush – unexpectedly shows up. A famous/not-famous AU inspired by Chris Evans.

Not That Gone (60k)

Around four in the afternoon on day two, Harry was dropping kisses on Louis’ chest and heading downwards when he abruptly stopped. “I can move back here,” he said, propping himself up on the mattress with his hands. Louis’ eyes popped open and he looked up at him, totally lost. “What?” “For a while,” Harry continued, the idea taking hold. “Hang out with my mom. Work on my script. Be with you.” Louis had already resigned himself to the fact that this weekend was a crack in the space-time continuum that would soon close, sending him and Harry back to their respective, very different lives. It would be a memory that would keep him warm when he was an old, old man – that time one of People’s 50 Most Beautiful had kept him on his hands and knees for two days straight. He wasn’t so stupid as to hope for more. “You’re crazy,” Louis scoffed. Harry’s eyes shone. “Am I?” A few weeks after Louis and Harry, *ahem*, reconnect at their high school reunion, Harry temporarily moves back home. Louis isn’t sure he has the emotional fortitude for a prolonged fling with the man of the dreams. For Ten Minutes Straight (1k) Louis has a ritual for when Harry’s away – and a good reason for keeping it private.