#it is really Everything Happens So Much Week over here

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (51/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: It's been a long time coming.

Warnings: angst (self-doubt, insecurities, mentions of abuse in a relationship, the babes are fighting), fluff - feelings are finally being revealed.

Word Count: 3.3k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: this whole story is based off of this chapter. I dreamt it over two years ago and everything led up to this. I love it. I hope you love it, too. feedback is appreciated.

Heartbreak isn’t always about what‘s lost – it’s about what never had the chance to be. 

You feel it, the way he looks at you, the way his breath hitched when you pushed yourself up and got too close. You thought, for just a second, that this was it. The moment. The one that would finally be the end of all the back and forth. 

But instead of leaning in, instead of closing the distance between the both of you and claiming your lips in a long overdue kiss, he pulled back. And in that tiny movement, he shattered something inside you. 

And it wasn’t loud. There was no fight, no final words, no door slammed shut. Just a moment that should’ve changed everything – and then, nothing. 

The both of you had been orbiting each other for two weeks, always finding your way back to each other, toeing the thin line between friendship and something more the last few days. You thought maybe this time would be different. That after all the almosts, after all the waiting and the longing stares and gentle touches, he would be brave enough to meet you in the space between. 

But when the moment came, when all he had to do was lean in, he didn’t. He looked at you, really looked at you, and still, he pulled away. 

And that’s what breaks you the most as you stand there, his hand still on your hips as you look up at him. Not that he didn’t feel it, the tension, the longing, all of it, but that he did – and still, he left you standing there, heart open, waiting for a love he was too afraid to let happen. 

So now you’re left with the weight of everything that never happened, mourning a love that never even had the chance to exist. And somehow, that’s so much worse than if he had never – 

„Mon amour, I –", Charles starts, voice hoarse. 

You shake your head slightly and take a step to the side, his hand slipping off your bare skin. You chug the rest of the champage. „I – excuse me“, you breathe, lowering your gaze as you start walking. You push through the crowd, leaving your empty glass on one of the tables. Your stride is fast, determined to get out of here and away from him as fast as possible. 

„Please, wait. Where – where are you going?“ His voice chases after you, but you don’t stop. 

Suddenly the air feels too thick, too hot and you feel like you’re suffocating. You hurry towards the exit, tears blurring your vision as you race down the few stairs. Your feet are stumbling over themselves in your rush to get away. Away from this party. Away from him. 

Purse clutched to your side, you don’t know where to go. 

You don’t want to go home. You can’t go home. You can’t go home to the place the both of you live in, to the bed you share, to the memories of being close and intimate and – 

You can’t go back to the place where you fell in love with him. 

Heavy footsteps echo in pursuit as you keep going nontheless, his voice growing more desperate with every call of your name. You can hear the pain in his voice, the ache mixed together with something close to grief. But you don’t stop. Not for him. Your own heartbreak keeps you going. 

The fireworks up in the air light up the streets, showing you the way to the only other place here you ever called your home and leading you through the narrow alleys of Monaco. He stops calling your name, but you can still hear his footsteps. Charles follows you quietly, keeping a safe distance between the both of you. 

The night is sharp against your tear-streaked face as your feet carry you towards the old apartment. Cold air bites at your skin as you rush down the streets, your heels clicking unevenly against the pavement. Your breaths come in sharp, ragged gasps, mixing with the tears streaming down your face. 

Your heart is breaking, splintering more with every step you take away from the party, away from him, but you keep moving. Because if you stop, if you let him reach you here, outside in Monaco instead of a place you feel safe in, you know you’ll fall apart completely. And you can’t let that happen. 

Your old apartment is right around the corner, when you hear him closing the distance, his footsteps quickening, matching yours. The sound of him – so familiar, so him – only makes the pain worse, because no matter how fast you run, you can’t outrun the truth. 

The truth that he doesn’t want you. Doesn’t love you. 

This isn’t just about tonight. It’s about every moment before this. Every lingering glance, every touch, every time he pulled you close only to let you go again. It’s about the way he looked at you at the party when you wanted him to kiss you, like he felt it too, but pulled away. 

„Please!“ His voice cracks behind you as you climb the stairs to the door of the building the apartment is in. You fish your keys out of your purse and hurry inside and up the steps. You hear him closing the door behind him and following you upstairs, where you enter the familiar apartment you lived in alone until he came along. 

How is it possible that your first encounter was just two weeks ago?

His hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. Your body jerks slightly from the grip, your breath hitching as you squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself not to turn around and face him. Not to fall into those green eyes that have always been your undoing. 

„Please don’t run from me“, he says breathlessly, his grip gentle but unrelenting. He stands outside the apartment and it’s like the doorframe seperates not only your bodies, but creates a distance between the both of you that you can’t seem to overcome. 

You open your eyes, your gaze wandering around the apartment you love so much. The kitchen, where he cooked pasta after you met. The couch he slept on in the first night, while you locked yourself up in the bedroom. The coffee table which was overflowing with snacks when you watched Cars together and you accidently told him that he’s cute. 

All of these things are part of your relationship with him. And no matter where you go, where you run off to – you’ll always love him. 

You turn around to face him. 

His face is pale, nose red from the cold outside. His hair is messed up from the wind, and his eyes – they hold a sorrow in them, that you can’t describe. „Can – can we talk about it? Please?“, he pleads, voice shaky, breaking through the barrier of your pain. 

You take a step back, wrist slipping out of his grasp as you watch him entering the apartment and closing the door behind him. You shake your head slightly, tears drying on your cheeks. You can’t let him get close to you, but your heart aches to hear him out to make sense of this, to make sense of him. 

„What’s there to talk about, Charles?“ The words feel heavy in your mouth, thick with emotion. „You’ve said everything without saying a single thing. You don’t want this. You don’t want me. You never have.“

He lowers his gaze, leaning back against the apartment door like the words slapped him. His face is filled with confusion, regret, but there’s something else too – something you can’t quite place. „That’s–", he starts, but you cut him off. 

„What? Not the truth?“, you scoff, anger slowly spreading in your veins at his attempted lie. It outweighs your pain, just a bit, but enough to stare at him with a cold stare. „You don’t get it. You –" You run a hand through your hair. „I can’t do this anymore. I – I can’t be your friend anymore.“

He raises his eyebrows, pushing himself away from the door as he takes a step towards you. He looks confused, like he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and the sadness in his eyes makes your heart ache. But you push it down. You have to. „Mon amour –"

„Don’t call me that“, you warn him. „You – you never wanted me, Charles.“ Your voice is barely above a whisper. „You just wanted my body. You just wanted the moments when I was close enough to touch, to hold, but never enough to actually love. You never wanted – me.“ Tears prick in the corners of your eyes again, wether they’re from sorrow or anger, you don’t know. „I – God, I feel so stupid.“ You turn around and take a step, before turning back to face him. „I’m not your distraction, Charles“, you continue, your voice steadying with each word. „And I’m not here to fill the space you can’t be bothered to acknowledge. I’m not just something you turn to when you’re bored or lonely. I’m not just your – your thing.“

You feel his eyes on you as you start pacing. Your heels click on the floor as you walk through the room, giving your anger some space to unfold. 

„Do you know how I feel?“, you ask him, the words slipping out in a whisper at first, but they burn with a fury you didn’t know you still have. 

He falters, his gaze flickering with hurt and uncertainty. „Y/N –„

„No“, you cut him off, your voice stronger now, shaking with the force of everything you’ve been holding back. Something in back of your mind tells you that you’re being unfair, but the pain in your heart overshadows it. „Do you really know how I feel? Do you understand what it’s like to be in love with someone who only half loves you? To always be waiting for something that never comes? To be treated like – like an option when I’ve given you everything I could?“

You take a step towards him, your chest tight with the weight of your own words. 

„I’ve let you in, I’ve let you get close, but every time, you pull away. Every single time. And I’m sick of it. I – I gave you my all, even after Raphael. And you –" You watch as his face softens, like the weight of your words is sinking in, but it’s too late now. It’s been too late for far too long. „I can’t keep doing this“, you say, quieter now, but the hurt still thick in your voice. „You don’t even let me touch you. You don’t get to have all of me when it’s convenient and then push me away when it’s not. I’m not something you can pick up and put down, Charles.“

You’re dumping all of your thougts on him, all your pain and hurt and anger and it consumes you so much, that you don’t see the same emotions flicker across his face. He balls his hands to fists at his sides, the vein in his neck popping. 

And then he explodes. 

„Do you really think that this is what I think about you?“, he almost shouts. „That I use you as a fucking distraction? As something I can just use and toss aside when I’m done with you?“ He takes a step towards you. His hands are trembling as he opens his fists to run his fingers through his hair, clearly fighting with himself. He stares at you as he speaks, voice cracking with a rawness that’s almost impossible to ignore.

His chest rises and falls quickly, like he’s holding back something massive, something that’s threatening to explode and destroy everything he built up to protect him. The words come out slow, forced, as if he’s been choking on them far too long. 

„Do you think I don’t want you to touch me? That I kiss and touch your body and don’t want you to do the same to me? Because that’s definitely the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.“ He takes another step towards you, eyes fixated on you as you don’t take a step back. The distance between you becomes smaller. 

You look up at him. „Then why – why don’t you let me touch you if that’s what you want?“

„Because – because I can’t!“ His voice is still loud, cheeks red from the blood rushing to his face. „I can’t let you touch me like that. I don’t –" He shakes his head, like he’s trying to make his anger disappear. He turns around when he realises that it doesn’t work. „It hurts! It hurts so much to just think about it! Because –" He takes a deep breath and turns back around to face you. „What if I let you touch me and – what if I can’t give you what you need?“ 

His voice is low now, heavy with hurt and aching and – and regret. Hands find their way to his neck, clasping together and the nape of it like he needs something to hold on to, like he needs something to ground himself. 

„I promised myself to never let someone touch me again, after what Annika did to me“, he confesses. „She broke something inside of me. And I – what if the only thing I can give you is not enough? What if you decide you want something different than what I’m able to give you?“ 

He’s clearly struggling, trying to figure out how to explain it to you, to make you understand, but the words don’t come easily. He’s falling apart, right in front of you. And after what you said, after what you threw at him – you don’t know what to do except standing there and let him talk. 

„She – twisted everything. Every touch, every kiss, it was never about love. It was about – I – I felt like I had to. There was no intimicay, no gentle touches, no – connection“, he explains. „Like I was a body to use, not a person. She took that from me. She took the only thing I had – my ability to feel safe with someone.“

His tilts his head back, swallowing hard. „When she – touched me, when she tried to have me, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I’d freeze up, Y/N. I couldn’t even let myself feel anything, because I was just waiting for it to end. I –„ He runs a hand over his face, his eyes squeezing shut like the memory is physically hurting him. „And every time someone gets close to me, every time you get close, I – I panic. I pull away because I’m scared. I’m scared that I can’t give you what you need, what you deserve. Terrified that I’ll push you away or make you feel like you don’t matter. Because you do. You matter so fucking much.“

You’re silent, still processing, still trying to understand what’s going on. The anger you felt earlier starts to shift, replaced by something else – something softer, something that aches with the weight of his words. 

He looks at you then, his expression raw and for the first time, you see how much he’s been carrying. „I cant –", he starts, standing there and caught between the pull to take the last step toward you and the need to hold himself back. He’s fighting something deep inside, and you can feel the tension in the air, the space between you both thick with unsaid words and unmet desire. 

„I cant“, he tries again, voice raw, like he’s struggling to breathe. He looks down at you. „I’ve been trying to keep this distance to protect myself. Because I’m so fucking scared of what’s happening between us. Because there’s a chance you leave me when I can’t give you what you need. And I’m too selfish to let you go, so I give you something, just a tiny bit of myself to keep you close but not close enough to make you happy. And I hate myself for it.“

Your anger disappears with every word he speaks. The man in front of you isn’t Charles, the Formula One driver. He’s not the Charles you share the apartment with. 

He’s the Charles who has been hurt so much that every little thing, every little sign of affection makes him want to bolt. 

But he’s still here. You just don’t know why. 

„I’ve been trying to keep this distance, to protect myself from a heartbreak that would kill me.“ He takes a deep breath. „But you.“ His eyes meet yours once again. 

You tilt your head in confusion. „Me?“

He nods slightly. „The last two weeks have been absolute torture for me. Not because you’re always so close to me, because you became my best friend and the person I care about the most in the last couple of days“, he explains, desperation in his words. „I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve wanted you so badly it hurts. Every time I see you, every time you’re near me, I feel this pull, this need. And I can’t stop it. It’s like it’s consuming me. Like your touch is burning me alive.“

You feel the heat rising in your chest, your heart beating faster, unsure of what he means. Your eyes flicker over his face, trying to read him, but his face is serious and leaves no room for anything other than the truth. „Charles –"

His eyes roll back. „God“, he breathes. „Do you know what you do to me when you call me by my French name? Like it was made just for you to say it.“ He rubs his palms over his face. „I’m terrified of how much I need you. Of how much I want you“, he says. „I’ve been holding back, thinking I could control it to save me from any possible heartbreak. But at the party, when you looked at me like you waited your whole life for me to kiss you –" He shakes his head. „I couldn’t do it. Because I was a coward. Because I thought that you wanted me to kiss you just because I was there, because I was convenient to you.“

Your eyes widen, you open your mouth to say something, but before you can speak, he continues. 

„But I promise you, there’s no amount of anything that could keep me away from you. No amount of past pain, no distance, no insecurites from former relationships.“ He slowly lifts his hand, wanting to touch your cheek, but instead of that he holds it in the air like he’s waiting for your approval. „Nothing in this world – or the other small worlds – could keep me away from you. You broke down my walls, carved your way into my heart. Every time I look at you, every time you smile at me, every time I feel you close to me, it destroys me. In the best way possible. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you. You’re everything I never knew I needed.“

His hands tremble as one gently cups your face while the other reaches for your own, his breath coming in shallow gasps. You can feel the weight falling off his shoulders, and they way his eyes search yours – like he’s giving you everything you could ever need. 

„Je t’aime, mon amour“, he finally confesses, his hand squeezing yours twice. One for each syllable. „I love you. Not just some of you. Not just most of you. But all of you.“

And without wasting another second, his lips crash against yours.

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s February ficrec frenzy

Hi everyone, just under two weeks to go until we're so so back, and it's time for February's rec post of all the fic that I've read and loved over the last month! Basically I've been rolling around in delight at all the interpretations of the behind the scenes hug fic, so you may sense a theme. As always you can find previous rec lists here.

22 February 2025

It’s a good thing we’re so normal and well-adjusted and could never fall in love with each other! by @luckshiptoshore my dear friend wrote her first Buddie fic, and it's a delight. Posing the question, what would happen if Buck and Eddie had an ongoing fwb arrangement, and hadn't thought any deeper about it than that because they're both straight right, so it's just blowing off steam? Coupled with Buck's canonical bi awakening...that makes him reassess what exactly has been going on all this time. Witty and so much fun, bless these idiots, they have but one braincell between them but boy does it spark when rubbed together.

there is no road by @ghostlandtoo such a gripping take on Eddie moving to El Paso and Buck in LA missing him, this is a dual POV in which Buck is striving to be fine, and Eddie is struggling to adjust, and they're both missing each other. When Eddie is injured on the job, Buck drops everything to come to his side, and together they heal and slowly start to unpeel the layers on their feelings. Really fantastic examination of how to be there for each other when you know what you feel but not how to unblock obstacles in the way. I especially loved the Eddie POV and myriad family dynamics in this one.

so make the best of this test (and don’t ask why) by @littlefreakbuckley oh this one took me by surprise in the best way! Buck 1.0 wakes up in the marriage bed of future Buck and Eddie. Adjusting to learning he's into guys too now, and reckoning with the realisation that he's built a family since his early season 1 pre-Abby relationship days, what unfolds is both flirtation to the max and a beautifully introspective journey of acceptance. And one VERY intrigued Eddie. Hot and sweet, their idiosyncrasies and banter were so on point, with such a lovely subtle characterisation shift between 1.0 and Buck that still made them both feel distinctly them even with the gap in wisdom and growth: just gorgeous. Also hot, did I say hot? Hot! 

crying after sex by @eddiebabygirldiaz I'm always here for an ren's fics, and oh hello, this one is a stunner! After a hook up following the Risky Business scene, Buck and Eddie have kissed...but they've yet to define anything, and before they can have that conversation, one or the other bolts. When Eddie moves to Texas, Buck spirals and has a lot of sex and spirals some more. They miss each other terribly, and through their discussions, they find their way to each other, but not without a few speed bumps. I really love the self reflection they both go through here, and the structure which means we get to see so much of how they cope, love, and grow together.

his indecision's bugging me by @peachino a beautifully written contribution to the 'Eddie moves out and without telling him, Buck moves in' speculation. The language and descriptions in this one are so gorgeous, with Buck's head being a delightfully messy, tangled place to inhabit. There's paint metaphors, Buckley sibling conversations, and an Eddie who is gently accepting and amused. I love you squatter Buck!

crash test anthem by @clytemnestraaa part two in gear shift harmony, Buck is not having a great time in LA, and the firefam are concerned for him. Really diving deep into his abandonment issues and his less than healthy ways of dealing with them, this is putting him in the torment nexus.

tailspinning by @doitgently taking Buck spiralling to the extreme...this is that one time Buck snooped on Eddie's fridge calendar to the extreme! With a mix of location tracking and memorised schedules, the codependency is off the charts and yet remains somehow incredibly sweet and charming - such a fine line and executed so well. Buck knows what he's doing is insane but god help him, he just needs to know.

slaughterhouse by @kithmet 'Buck has resolved to be the greatest friend ever. He’s handling this move so well. And not at all being abnormal about Eddie’s house. Or Eddie’s belongings. Or, well. Eddie.' In which Buck accidentally starts magpieing Eddie's belongings in a reaction to him moving away and feels very guilty about it but just can't stop himself....and Eddie's reaction might not be what you expect. This one tickled me so much, lovely little klepto.

oh brother, I see (you burn like me) by canadadry SISTERS!!!! Oh oh how I loved this...chapters split between Adriana and Maddie, this is a third person POV to Buddie, from the eyes of their siblings. What Adriana witnesses coming in fresh contrast to poor Maddie's slowly boiled frog experience of the two. Lovely characterisation and just so much fun, I really loved that they bonded over the insanity.

We're Overdue for a Revival by @bespectacledbunnys in which Chris agrees to come back to LA but he has one condition....Eddie must marry Buck. The only problem? Buck and Eddie are totally platonic? Right? I love the comedy of errors sensibility to this fic, along with the marriage of convenience trope wielded by teenage melodrama. Chris is brilliantly given agency here, allowed to be a messy and contradictory and hurt teenager just trying to be okay. Love Buck's easy acceptance and the firefam's incredulity. So much fun, and a delightful ride.

Okay let's leave it there for now, with Eddie perpetually in El Paso and Buck perpetually Not Okay About It. So excited to be back with more canon informed fics soon, happy reading everyone! 12 days until 8b!

[intrepidacious]

step number one

summary: You haven't kissed anyone in a couple of years. Johnny's more than happy to help you out.

pairing: johnny storm x f!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: friends to lovers, making out (in the name of practice) please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: this was supposed to be my valentine's day fic but here we are. c'est la vie. hope you still enjoy this fluffy nonsense a week later 🫶🏼

masterlist | read on ao3

"You got any plans for tomorrow?" Johnny asks the day before Valentine’s Day, spread out on your bed like usual, his eyes not lifting from his phone.

You snort. "Yeah, right."

There’s something, you think, about the aggressively pink-and-flowers-and-chocolate aesthetic of this month that well and truly makes you want to throw up. 14 per cent discounts and coupley pictures and cutesy videos have been flooding your feed for the past week and a half, and with most of your friends neatly paired off as well, it’s like there’s absolutely no escaping the—

"Why not?" Johnny asks. "I mean, pretty girl like you gotta have guys lined up around the corner." The smile in his voice is sincere enough to let you believe he really does mean that as a compliment.

"First of all, ew," you reply, closing your app after yet another "date fit" video. "Second, the last date I went on ended with the guy leaving the country, so there’s that." Granted, you’d known about his travel plans beforehand, but still.

Johnny pushes up on one elbow. "Really. Coffee shop creep?"

You scowl at him. "Don’t call him that."

He’d been nice enough. Paid for your drinks and museum tickets. Hung his jacket over your shoulders when you started shivering. Yes, he’d also ghosted you and gone to Iceland, but it wasn’t like you’d known him that well.

You’d only gotten your hopes up too soon, like you always did.

"That was your last date?" Johnny says, attention fully on you now. "Wasn’t that, like, four years ago?"

"Five," you mumble, your cheeks heating. Almost six, but who's counting? "So, no, I’m not doing Valentine’s Day."

Being single is much easier, anyway. You don’t have to consider anyone else in your life; don’t have to wonder about what they’re doing or whether their family liked you or if they’re planning a three month trip abroad … huh. Maybe that one’s still somewhat of a sore point, after all.

"Why haven’t you gone out with anyone in five years?"

"I don’t know, it just sorta happened. Not everyone goes on a date with a new person every week."

"Gross exaggeration."

"Not really," you say, nudging his side with your toes. "Do you ever see those girls a second time?"

"Sometimes. Hey, when did this become about me?" He catches your foot when you make to poke him again. His smile doesn’t waver, but his voice becomes gentler when he speaks again, a little more serious. "I thought you want a relationship."

You swallow.

"I do," you say quietly. "It’s just … it’s scary. I don’t like putting myself out there, and I’ve been so busy with everything else. I don’t have time to worry about small talk or the fact that at this point I don’t even know how to kiss anyone anymore."

It’s a vicious circle, really. Wanting something serious while also being terrified of anything serious. And suddenly, almost without noticing, years have gone by and nothing has changed at all.

Next to you, Johnny goes very still.

Honestly, it’s not the reaction you’ve expected. Deep down, you thought he’d laugh, tease you about the fact that it’s been nearly six years since you’ve gotten intimate with anyone. Sometimes, you want to laugh about it yourself, even though at the same time, you don’t find it funny at all.

But Johnny Storm has always had more layers than people give him credit for; even you, sometimes.

"Do you …" His voice cracks and he clears his throat, staring at the wall behind you. "Do you wanna practice?"

You blink, heat rushing to your cheeks before you even understand what he’s asking. "Practice what?"

"Kissing."

…

Maybe your brain short-circuited. There’s been some misfiring in your neurons, mistranslating his actual words, because there’s no way on earth he’s just suggested what you thought you heard.

"I—"

"It’d be one less thing for you to worry about, you know," he interrupts, talking quickly. You’ve never seen him look at you this intently. He seems to realize from your stunned expression, and a shadow of his earlier smile softens his face. "Don’t worry," he says. "I don’t bite unless you want me to."

Your mouth opens and closes a couple of times, your heart pounding so loud you can hear feel it behind your temples. "I don’t know how to respond to this."

"Say yes," Johnny says. "We can just try it out. We don’t have to bring it up again after today, it’ll just be … preparation, you know? Step number one of getting you back in the game."

It doesn’t feel like a game at all, this suggestion.

The craziest part about it, though, is that you are seriously considering it. You stare at him, his pretty blue eyes and his cocky grin, and the earnest expression behind his nonchalant façade. No matter your answer, he wouldn’t judge you.

Besides, it’s not like you’ve never thought about it.

You’ve caught glimpses of Johnny kissing other girls one too many times not to secretly wonder what it would be like. To feel his lips on yours, the heat of his body pressed against you, your hands gliding over the short buzz of his hair.

It’s longer now, maybe even long enough to tangle your fingers in and yank.

"Fine," you say quietly, and watch his smirk falter ever so slightly.

No matter his grand bravado, he clearly didn’t expect you to agree. It’s sweet, the way he scrambles to sit up properly, not even caring that his phone drops to the floor.

"Yeah?"

You swallow, nod. There’s an excited blush spreading on his cheeks that’s kind of endearing but also makes you want to melt into the ground. The way he’s staring at your lips makes you feel aware of every single cell in your body. You can’t remember ever being looked at like this.

"Do you want to …?"

"I don’t know, can you just—"

His hand cups your cheek, warm and steady. He’s always so warm.

"Close your eyes," he says lowly, and they fall shut of their own accord.

You don’t think you’re breathing as you wait, your hands fisted into your blanket as if you’re trying to hold on for dear life. Maybe you are.

For a very long moment, nothing happens, and you’re starting to feel like you’re being ridiculed after all. Like you’re going to open your eyes to Johnny laughing in your—

His lips brush against yours, just a single, careful touch, lingering, testing the waters. You don’t dare to move, or breathe, or do anything but feel. Your mind is racing, even though you cannot catch a single coherent thought.

The sheets rustle, the mattress dipping as Johnny breaks the kiss, adjusting his position. His thumb is still on your cheek, a gentle caress.

"You in there, darlin’?"

"Yeah." Your grip loosens a little.

"Okay." His breath fans over your lips. "You wanna try again?"

You’ve barely started nodding before he dives in again.

This time, you’re a little more ready for it, moving your mouth against his experimentally. He smells nice. You don’t know what to do with your hands.

He pulls away again and your heart tugs painfully, but he only tilts his head the other way and goes back to kissing you, still so soft, so languidly, like he has all the time in the world. He makes no rush of deepening the kiss, which is so like and unlike him at the same time.

It’s you, then, who leans in closer, your tongue slipping into his mouth, your brain going in and out of focus with each shuddering breath as he responds fervently. His fingers move down to your chin, angling it just a little. One of your hands lands on his shoulder, seeking balance.

He tastes sweet. Dangerously addictive.

This time, you’re the one to move back, your eyes flying open, feeling like his fire has set your entire body aflame. "How’d I do?"

Johnny blinks a couple of times, staring at your mouth, his pupils blown wide. You press your lips together.

"Not bad," he says hoarsely. "Maybe a little …"

"What?"

"Come here."

He catches your hands, putting them around his neck. It’s an awkward position, the rest of your body still angled away from his until he raises an eyebrow.

You realize there’s two options before you, and you’re not ready to have him on top of you in your own bed.

Instead, you straddle his thighs, looking over his shoulder to not have to meet his eye. His arms fall around you, settling at your lower back, pleasurable heat crawling up your spine.

"This okay?"

You kiss him again.

He makes a startled noise against your mouth, tightening his hold on you as his head drops back, granting you easier access. Your heart is pounding so wildly in your chest it’s making you dizzy.

It’s the most natural thing in the world, to kiss him like this. To scratch your fingernails against the nape of his neck until he makes that sound again. It vibrates against your tongue, and you melt against him, his body hot and solid against yours. Even when you come apart for air, he’s the only real thing in the world.

There’s nothing innocent about the way your mouths crash together now. He swallows your surprised moan like he’s been hungering for it, his hands bunching up your shirt at your back. You shudder against him when he grazes bare skin, each new touch burning in the most delicious manner. You’re weightless, intertwined, content to never again draw a single breath that hasn’t fallen from his lips first.

His tongue slides against yours, tasting your mouth in a way that borders on desperate. You press even closer to him, your fingers slipping into his hair in that way you’ve wanted to for longer than you’ve cared to admit even to yourself, hips involuntarily stuttering against his until he groans, responding in kind to each push and pull.

Finally, after what well may have been hours, you come apart, your forehead pressed to his, chests heaving. You don’t want to open your eyes; don’t want to return to the aftermath of what you’ve just done.

"Go out with me."

You sit back. Johnny’s arms are still draped around you, and there’s a mesmerized smile on his face as he looks at you. "What?"

"Go out with me. On a date." His voice is rough and strangely hopeful, and it makes your stomach flutter. "I promise no small talk."

"You’re not serious."

"About you?" His gaze drops to your lips again. "Always." His nose bumps against yours. "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" You exhale shakily, dropping to a whisper. "That’s soon."

"Hmm."

"Maybe I should practice some more before then."

He smiles against your mouth.

thank you for reading my first full length johnny fic 😌 i'm sure it won't be the last. if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications!!

[wejustvibing]

transcript below 🫶🏾

Firstly the step that I've taken, I knew it was a massive challenge and that's exciting. I'm getting out of my comfort zone, I was comfortable where I was, like, I'd been there for many years, knew the environment, knew when and where I could turn up, I knew how everything worked... and I'm coming into this new space and it's so, so different. It's a different culture, different country, different language, and it is massively challenging. But I love a challenge, I always have since I was a kid that's what kinda spurs me on.

I think the biggest challenge is that there's not a lot of time, to build up for a season, the off season was only just over three weeks which is not a lot of time to let your body and mind rest. The day in day out that I've been here, which you can't obviously be here every single day 'cause you have different commitments for all the partners as well. I remember in my previous team I joined, it wasn't six months till I won my first race. It takes time to build relationships, to build trust with everybody, to understand how an organization works, how people are tuned to work, like, how you can show up for people and support them to get the best from them and vice versa. And there's not really a shortcut for that.

So I would say that that's the biggest challenge. How can I blend in with this team, how can I merge with everyone here, which I feel really aligned with everyone here but when you get in the car it's completely different. The messages that they send me are much different than I've experienced before. Everything that comes up on the dash is completely different. The whole setup of the front and the rear it's all different. To achieve something similar, but the terminology is different. So, I mean, jeez I could go on and on and on.

But when there's a will there's a way. We're putting in as much work as we can. But I'm also conscious that everything doesn't have to happen in the first day or the first month here, I'm here for more than a year and we're gonna go on this rollercoaster journey together. And even with the tifosi that have been at turn 1 since 6am or 5.30am or whatever this morning. It's gonna be a rollercoaster ride but a really fun one and we're gonna make it great. - Lewis

[squishygirl46]

Part Two: Acceptance. I've slept about 50 times so far, so I think I've been here for about a little over a month. And I'm holding up pretty well, that long and I've only missed my morning workout a few times. But I've been eating a lot, too. This guy puts these pills in me every time and I can't control myself and I eat until I fall asleep. Suddenly he came into the room:

-“Get on the scale,” he said to me. I got up and went to the scale. The scale said: 65 kilos ( 143 pounds )

-Wow, I've gained 20 kilogramms in a whole month? What are you doing to me? But how? I've been working out so much, haven't I?

-You've only been here two weeks and you've only exercised seven times. Now turn around, I need to take a picture of you. After he took the pictures and left, I fell on the bed and started crying. -How come? How did I get so fat? What's going to happen next? But the crying didn't last long, soon enough he came back with a mountain of new food and pictures that he had taped to the wall. -Come on, now take your pills. He handed me three already -No, I won't, they make me eat until I pass out. -That's the way it should be- -he said and held my hands and put them in my mouth….. After that he left and I decided that I wouldn't eat and got up to look at the new pictures on the wall…. -God, is is me? what a belly, and how big my thighs had become, even my breasts had become bigger, although they had always been small. No, I will definitely not eat more and exercise, he will not make me his pig.

Of course soon the pills kicked in and I went on autopilot to the food. It was so appetizing, and my stomach rumbled treacherously. And I tried to talk myself out of eating, but my hands were reaching for it. Once I took my first bite, I couldn't stop. I ate nonstop. Usually I ate until I started to feel pain, but this time I didn't. I looked down and watched my stomach swell, but for some reason I didn't stop. Surprisingly now instead of pain came another feeling, euphoria. My brain had reorganized itself during this time and now the pleasure I used to get from walking, sports, movies, socializing was replaced by the pleasure of eating. And as I held another burger with one hand, I tried stroking my belly with the other…. And it was the best feeling of my life. Euphoria spilled over my whole body and I moaned loudly. I touched my stuffed, rock hard belly and felt it throbbing. I didn't stop eating this time, and there was a lot more food. But I managed to eat absolutely everything. Immediately afterward, I collapsed on the bed and looked at my stomach. It was just huge, a giant ball, that's all I could see in front of me. I touched it and enjoyed it. -God, what am I turning into. I said to myself. But my hands were stroking my bloated stomach. After that day everything changed, I no longer exercised or denied myself food. Without resistance, I ate all the pills this guy brought me. I loved the feeling of a full stomach and unlimited appetite so much that I asked him to give me more pills and bring me food more often.

And after a while this guy came in again with scales and a camera. -Well, pig, it’s been another 2 weeks, time to make progress. I tried to get out of bed, but it was much more difficult than before. I even had a little bit of breathlessness. On the scales it was written: 90 kilos 198(pounds) -Wow, that’s it, did I just get so excited? -Yes, we’re going to take pictures now. After that he left as usual and returned already with the photos, but without a tray with food. Instead, he rolled a big barrel inside from which a hose was sticking out. He let me see the pictures while he was working on the barrel. -Wow, did I really get so fat? My belly has never been hanging down before. And the boobs? They became giant, like you can milk me. And the ass is twice as wide, I look like a sow. Even stretch marks appeared. I couldn’t explain it to myself, but I liked why I felt good in such a body. I had forgotten all the worries of my previous life, now all I cared about was food. But this guy quickly made it clear that I should not worry. He took me by the face and began to put a mask on me.

Wait, what are you doi..

He put the mask with the tube on me and fastened it, then tied me up. -Good girl, now you’ll always be full. I took care of you and made a special cocktail. It consists of those pills I gave you, vodka, butter, cream, ice cream and tons of sugar. Now you’ll really burst. You will not walk anymore, I will give you bedpan so that you can go to the toilet. So lie down and don’t strain. The thoughts swirled in my head, I was scared, yes, I liked what it was before, but the barrel frightened me. Right before he pressed button. And the liquid filled my mouth, I couldn’t help but swallow it, besides it was so delicious… She got me drunk, and the pills made me hungry. I swallowed and swallowed. Gazing at my bloated belly, shaking it, hearing the liquid bubbling in it and swallowing more. I couldn’t stop. The alcohol made me dizzy and I didn’t know where I was, but I couldn’t stop swallowing. Then I fell asleep. After a while I woke up and everything was repeated. I did not move at all, went under myself and swallowed the pulp. I was in a state of euphoria all these days, I grew up, occupied more and more space. Getting much fatter and dumbier, until the guy with scales and camera came in again…

[gamergirlwrites]

Dating Post-RE3 Carlos Oliveira Headcanons

All SFW

You thought that living through the horrors of Raccoon City would have changed Carlos, but he was still the same guy you fell for when he came back.

He was a bit more protective over you and wary of Umbrella retaliating, but it was nothing that stood out too much.

You still had your date nights together, and Carlos still told corny jokes trying to get you to laugh at every chance.

He quits working for Umbrella completely after that and the two of you contemplate going completely off the grid, but you settle for moving somewhere just a bit more remote.

You miss the city, but it's pretty easy to find peace in quiet sunrises and the hard work of trying to start a farm.

Carlos loves animals, and it turns out that you've got a bit of a green thumb.

The town you move to has a nice little community, and you end up finding a permanent spot at the town farmer's market

Carlos brings you into the city for a nice date night every couple of weeks, just so that you have an excuse to get dressed up.

He likes waking up early, especially whenever the two of you sit out on the porch with your breakfasts to watch the sunrise before getting to work.

The two of you usually shower together after a long, hard day of work. Sometimes Carlos gets handsy, but he mostly just likes the innocent intimacy of being close together in the shower without sex.

Carlos gains a bit of weight after a while, and you swear that he's never looked better. You know that he's happier and healthier than he had been before, and that's the real sign of your worlds healing.

Hidden far away from everything that happened, the two of you feel safe enough to start your family and really put roots down in your new community.

There are still little scares here and there learning about things happening from the news, but you can sleep well at night knowing that it's not Carlos's job to take care of it anymore.

[httpvomitello]

Hiii I love your work and I’d love it if maybe you could do a Remus Lupin x potter!reader. Maybe they’ve been sneaking around behind James back for months and he finds out on accident. I like the idea of them getting together at the potter manor over the summer but obviously up to you!

Thank you!🫶

Helloooooo! Thank you so much for liking what i write 💞 and poor James can't take a break. Hope you like it ~ ♡

Summer Nights *⁠.⁠✧

Summary: For months, Y/N and Remus have been sneaking around behind James’s back, enjoying stolen kisses and whispered confessions. The Potter Manor had always been a safe haven—until James accidentally walks in on something he really wishes he hadn’t seen.

remus lupin x f!Potter reader

Potter Manor was always alive with noise during the summer—James and Sirius causing havoc, your mother fussing over everyone like they were still children, and Remus quietly smiling from the corner, a book in his hands. You had grown used to the chaos, to the way your house became a second home for the Marauders.

But this summer was different.

This summer, you had been sneaking around with Remus Lupin behind your brother’s back.

It two years ago, back at Hogwarts—quiet moments stolen in the common room late at night, fingers brushing against each other in the library, lingering glances across the Great Hall. You hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t expected to fall for your brother’s best friend, but the way Remus looked at you, the way he spoke to you like you were the most important person in the world, made it impossible not to.

And when he finally kissed you by the Gryffindor fireplace, everything changed.

Now, here you were, tiptoeing through the halls of Potter Manor long after everyone had gone to bed, making your way to the library where Remus was waiting. The heavy wooden door creaked slightly as you pushed it open, and he turned at the sound, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“You’re late,” he murmured, leaning against a bookshelf.

You rolled your eyes. “James was still awake. Had to make sure he wasn’t lurking.”

He reached for your hand, pulling you closer until you were pressed against him. “We don’t have long,” he said softly. “Sirius will start looking for me if I’m gone too long.”

“Then we shouldn’t waste time,” you whispered, tilting your face up to his.

He kissed you then, slow and deep, his hands sliding into your hair. You melted against him, fingers curling into the fabric of his sweater, completely lost in the moment.

And then the door burst open.

“Oi, Moony, have you seen my—”

James’s voice cut off abruptly.

You barely had time to react before you heard him inhale sharply.

“What,” he said, his tone dangerously calm, “the actual hell is going on here?”

You stepped away from Remus like you had been burned, but it was too late. James had already seen everything.

Remus cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly. “James, I—”

“DON’T,” James interrupted, jabbing a finger at him. “Don’t even try to explain this, Moony. You were snogging my sister. My sister!”

You winced. “James, can we just—”

“NO, WE CANNOT JUST ANYTHING,” he shouted, running a hand through his hair. “HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?”

You exchanged a nervous glance with Remus before hesitantly answering, “ Two years...?”

James made a strangled noise, somewhere between a gasp and a groan. “TWO FUCKING YEARS? ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON UNDER MY NOSE FOR YEARS?”

At that moment, Sirius appeared in the doorway, looking curious. “Why is James yelling—oh.” He took one look at the scene—Remus standing awkwardly, you looking guilty, and James looking murderous—and burst into laughter.

“Ohhh, this is fantastic.”

James turned on him. “YOU KNEW?”

Sirius grinned. “Oh, yeah. Figured it out weeks ago. Thought it would be more fun to let you find out on your own.”

James let out a sound of pure betrayal. “This is a conspiracy. You’re all against me.”

You crossed your arms. “James, can you just calm down? It’s not like we murdered anyone.”

“You might as well have!” James groaned. “My innocence is dead.”

Remus finally stepped forward, his voice calm. “James, I know this isn’t what you wanted, but I care about her—a lot.” He looked at you then, and James’s fury wavered for a second when he saw the sincerity in his friend’s expression. “And if you give me a chance, I’d really like to prove that to you.”

James exhaled loudly, rubbing his temples. “I hate this,” he muttered. Then, after a long pause, he groaned. “Fine. But if you break her heart, I swear to Merlin—”

Remus held up his hands. “Understood.”

James narrowed his eyes, then turned on his heel to leave.

“Where are you going?” you called after him.

“To pretend I never saw this,” James grumbled. “And to eat an entire treacle tart out of pure distress.”

Sirius threw an arm around him as they walked off. “Cheer up, mate. At least it’s not Snape.”

James shuddered. “Oh, don’t even joke about that.”

As the door shut behind them, you turned back to Remus, amusement dancing in your eyes. “Well. That went better than expected.”

He chuckled, pulling you close again. “Slightly.”

You grinned. “Now, where were we?”

And with that, you kissed him—properly this time.

[chirpingfromthebox]

The Charge's Post-game Press Session from 2/20/2025 - BOS at OTT

The Ottawa Charge's post-game press session from after their home game against the Boston Fleet on Feb. 20th, 2025.

At the table were head coach Carla MacLeod and defender Ronja Savolainen.

My transcription is under the break.

[Video begins.]

CARLA MACLEOD:

[Looking over at Ronja] I thought they’d have T [Tereza Vanišová] here to talk about the fight.

Reporter:

Oh that’s the first question. Tell us about the fight. What was that like?

[SFX: general laughter and comments from the room.]

[Carla turns to look at Ronja.]

[ID: a screenshot of Carla MacLeod and Ronja Savolainen sitting at the interview table with microphones in front of them. A red charge backdrop is behind them. Carla is turned a full 90 degrees to look at Ronja and Ronja is looking over to her and laughing. /. End of ID.]

RONJA SAVOLAINEN:

Insane.

CARLA MACLEOD:

Talk about it.

RONJA SAVOLAINEN:

No, I’m not gonna say what I said in the locker room. [laughs]

Reporter:

Oh now we need to know.

CARLA MACLEOD:

I just think you see the intensity of the game and that’s the fun part of this league. You know? Neither player backed down, they both were intense, and I suspect there will be a little bit of buzz around it; which is never bad for the game either.

Reporter:

Does that give the players a bit boost on the bench watching something like that?

RONJA SAVOLAINEN:

Oh yeah, totally. It’s always- I like fighting so I think that was a good boost for the whole team. And, well you saw, I think every player stand up and cheered for her. So that was good. A good one.

Reporter:

The- Overall is this, like, almost a loss that feels a little bit like a win? By the way you came back and grabbed a point in a game you were down in?

CARLA MACLEOD:

Yeah we had a tougher start there. We could see it. You know, we knew we had to kind of find our way and dig out of it. And to your point, the resiliency that we showed. Big kill there at the end of the third. Recognize we’d only had 90 seconds left to try to get something brewing. And able to plot 2 in that timeline there was really great.

You know, obviously, when you can call a timeout and set up a play and it wasn’t perfectly executed of course, but it finished the right way. So it gave us a lot of momentum. And you look at maybe last game’s overtime to this game’s overtime, a lot of credit goes to our players and their adjustment. Pushing to win the hockey game instead of just defending the hockey game. And it allowed us to have a lot of O-zone time. So yeah, we’re- You know, we’re on the 3-game point streak right now. Obviously we want to tilt the overtime points to get that extra one: that’s an important piece for us. But it’s not lost on us that we’re getting better.

Reporter:

Was the last week and everything that happened with- from Edmonton and back to leaving Edmonton and then coming back, all that whole thing, extended road trip, was that exhausting at all? Mentally if anything?

RONJA SAVOLAINEN:

I mean, I think we growed up pretty much from that trip. We were together all the time and, I mean, shit happens. I think we had a lot of fun with the group when, obviously, there were a lot of cancellations with the flights and everything. But we were still sticking together and having fun together, eating dinners together and that kind of thing. So I mean it was a nice trip even though we came home pretty late. [Looks at Carla and they laugh.] But that’s life.

Reporter:

Did that whole chaos affect anything with the roster tonight?

CARLA MACLEOD:

Not really. The roster was just being managed based on medical.

Reporter:

And Boston’s obviously right ahead of you guys in the standings. Is there a lot of standings watching at this point in the season?

CARLA MACLEOD:

You just- This league—from game 1 through game 30—you got to get points. So regardless of standing watching per se, or watching the standings, it’s just about executing and getting the job done. And that’s our objective. We’ve got to start to string some games together here where we’re collecting 3 points. Because you can move in a hurry if you find your way that way. It’s easier said than done because there’s always good opponents across from you, but we really genuinely believe the momentum is shifting to us and we can start to see that we can wear teams down.

Reporter:

Went into overtime, obviously, very much felt like it was in Ottawa’s favor for a lot of it. What are some positives you can take away from that going into the next game?

CARLA MACLEOD:

Massive. That’s the best overtime we’ve played as Ottawa: PWHL Ottawa or Ottawa Charge. So really great effort by everyone. And there was a good energy on the bench for when everyone was going out. You know, we had multiple opportunities to finish that game off. I think we had hemmed that group in for substantial amount of time. But it just goes to show in that scenario, 3 on 3, like just one mishandled puck and it can turn on a dime. But really proud of what we did. Really proud of how we played. And we dug out and that’s a good team effort.

Reporter:

Ronja, you’ve been getting more and more power play time. Can you kind of describe your role in the power play?

RONJA SAVOLAINEN:

Yeah, just want to be a big person in front of the goalie. And obviously just make her life harder. And also just help the people there when there comes a loose puck. I go and help and yeah. I just try to be a big person in front of the net and screen all the passes and the shots.

Reporter:

Does it feel weird being a natural defender solo?

RONJA SAVOLAINEN:

No. I’ve been in front of the net almost 8 years in- back in Luleå. So it’s a safe spot for me. [laughs]

Reporter:

Seven seconds left you call a timeout. Down by one. You mentioned drawing up a play, but what was the message to the team to kind of calm everyone down and get them focused?

CARLA MACLEOD:

It wasn’t about calming us down it was just- Haley Irwin took that timeout and she took those 6 players and they knew what the objective was and where the puck was trying to get to. And it was just- the message is just: do your best to get the job done. And that group got the job done. But like I said, for us on the bench one of the key pieces was that the whole bench got up and you could feel it. They wanted our 6 players to be successful. And maybe that sounds like a sort of odd observation, but it’s an important observation: it shows that you’re a team. You know? So at the end of the day it was just, yeah, they got the job done. They got the puck to the outside player and were able to find some net there for T and it was successful. And those are moments that are fun, right? Gets the bench excited. I think it helps spill into overtime and gives us that energy in overtime. So close to getting over that hurdle and getting that moving in the right direction. But lots of positive.

[End of Video.]

[kirby-the-gorb]

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek

[alfhildr-the-word-weaver]

I got thinking too much about Marwa from What We Do in the Shadows again and how she was canonically making observations of Jupiter and Saturn in the 1200s. Then I thought about how Elena took Damon to go watch a meteor shower, and I decided that Marwa and Elena should get away from all the vampire drama B.S. in their lives and go nerd out about astronomy together, and this moodboard sort of happened. I also thought about how Elena becomes a doctor and went ah, they are both women in STEM! So I ran with that as a theme too.

But yeah, Marwa needs a friend who will actually support her interests and engage with her intellectually (no shade to Nadja and the Guide, I'm glad they had a fun weekend watching Mamma Mia together which was literally the only time we got to actually see Marwa happy onscreen, but they have never demonstrated much interest in science that I can recall and I want Marwa to have an astronomy buddy), and I think Elena would be fascinated by her and her perspectives on astronomy from centuries ago, and they could learn about modern astronomical advances together. If I find the time and energy I might even write fic about it, but for now, here is a moodboard so that we can all bask in the vibes of my beautiful crossover vision together.

Image sources: x x x / x (the first frame of x gif + a screenshot from x) x / x + x x x

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[moreaujeans]

okay guys i have calculated it all out and even if i get a big fat zero on this race i will still earn a b in the class assuming i get 100% on the other remaining three assignments two of which are a given for 100% and the last of which is like. even if we get a 75% on it (which i do not really see happening) i can still scrape by w a b-