#it is really Everything Happens So Much Week over here

[pushingdaisies1]

hihi I am not sure how to submit a request because I have never really done one before but isit possible if u could do a myunggi x female reader fic😓😓🙏🙏 I haven't really seen much ffs about him and I really want to see his protective side being portrayed🙌

➜ ౨ৎ Paz Con Usted.

― ꒰ PAIRING: Lee Myung-gi x Reader! ꒱ ― ꒰SUMMARY: Your last relationship wasn't left on the best of terms. It was a small little fling, only lasting for five months. But the way he left was sudden and abrupt. He told you flat out that he wanted to end things, and that was that. Didn't give you any time to ask why, was it your fault? He had mentioned once or twice about his ex-girlfriend. But after making up this grand charade to your face you didn't expect to be the rebound. But in hindsight... you were. Now you are here, being told that you have an opportunity to abolish your debts. A hefty prize, an amount of money you've never seen in your entire life. This was the worst time to run into your jaded ex-boyfriend. But maybe he still had some room in his heart left for you. You weren't so gullible, fool me twice and whatnot. But him swooping in to stand up for you definitely made you feel those same old butterflies rise in your gut.꒱ ― ꒰WARNINGS: Honestly the biggest one I can think of is you and Myung-gi being messy. Like within the context of your prior relationship.. if that makes sense... yk? Start is kinda angsty!! Woops!! There's no violence (excluding regular squid game violence mentioned) but Thanos is Thanos!! No Jun-hee slander here folks. Mentions of Abortion (Jun-hee.) Consequences of Myung-gis actions with a somewhat happy ending!! yay!!! Like you two don't like reforge a whole relationship but no bad blood by the end of this..... wooo!!! Use of She/her pronouns once for reader. Also this is a tad bit long n may have spelling mistakes , woopsie...꒱ ― ꒰AUTHORS NOTE: Ohh no dw!! Yes ofc , here you go!! I really do hope you liked this!! I tried to stay as in character for Myung-gi as possible. He's very much a 50/50 character amongst fans. His actor's so funny and I honestly like his character. Like you envy him but you cant help but feel sympathy for him in moments. Crypto bro who I wanna dissect/look at under a microscope!! Also like... look at him... he's a cutiepatootie. He has his moments but like bro Jun-hee defender forever lmao. Also, I got this title from a beautiful song. It's by the band Ataquemos!! It's just so sweet and a generally warm song. I think it fits Myung-gis's motivations at heart. I tried to deliver on this as hard as I could, enjoy!!<3꒱

☓﹕You never thought you would see Myung-gi again. After your breakup, it all seemed a done deal. He hadn't truly explained his reasonings to you. About... splitting ties with you. I mean it was utterly absurd? Throughout your entire relationship, you always tried to do and be better than before. ☓﹕Always listening to his woes even if they were a little bit baffling for your tastes. What was his problem? You could tell he wasn't being entirely honest with you about everything. His past relationships, his history. But that was his business and not yours. But your breakup definitely surprised you out of left field.

☓﹕He wasn't answering your calls for a good week leading up to it. You were worried sick about him. Thinking that something terrible must've happened. You were so naive to his true intentions. When he finally answered your multiple texts and missed calls, he only followed with, "I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I loved you I really did. But I'm not in a well enough place to continue with this relationship. I hope you can understand. I'm breaking up with you and blocking this number. I'm sorry." ☓﹕The familiar sensation of your chest winding tight took over your entire body. Your hands began to tremble as you held your phone. No tears at the sight. But you were practically blown away. Ghosts you for a week and then break up with you over TEXT?! ☓﹕This was jarring beyond the humiliation and general grief you felt swelling inside of you. Did you mean that little to him? What was his fucking deal? He'd even met with your parents on a couple occasions. You at least thought you were serious enough for him to at least break up with you face to face.

☓﹕You didn't even bat an eye about the fact that he was a crypto-bro! Or, that he never truly got over his last relationship. I mean you at least never thought he did. Throughout your past committed relationships, you valued the honesty in partners about what their dating life had been like before meeting you. ☓﹕ It felt like their openness was full transparency, you know? Even if the relationships they had before meeting you were full-blown train wrecks. But Myung-gi was a whole different story from other previous partners. It was odd but again you never tried to pry at him. Were you truly in love or just blind with infatuation?

☓﹕It had been a month since he had cut you off from his life. It had been a month full of bitter spite and just... sorrow. The amount of loans you had taken out definitely started to pile up. You had teetered on the line too many times at work. Eventually losing your position after you accidentally blew up at a coworker. It didn't take you long for your debt to increase even more after that. ☓﹕With how bad the job market was you stayed unemployed for too long according to the bank. Job interviews weren't pulling through. You were practically drowning in unpaid loans and growing unpaid rent bills. Never were you a person to take handouts from friends or family. You were too stubborn for your own good. It was so isolating as your landlord continued to threaten to kick you out if you didn't have all that money in a week. If he was nice enough, he'd outstretch it to two.

☓﹕It was one humid evening when you were waiting for a train. That a man approached you. He looks clean-cut, a businessman-looking briefcase held in one hand. His faint eery smile didn't falter at all as he slid down right next to you. You had spent the afternoon visiting friends for once and running errands with what little you had. One headphone is looped and tucked around the left ear. Of course, you noticed him. He stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the middle-men office workers office workers, or the families trying to get home and escape from the summer heat.

☓﹕You kept your eyes straight ahead. "Pleasedon'ttrytoconvertme..." you repeated over and over again in your head. All you wanted to do was just rinse and repeat the same routine you had accumulated. The same pathetic routine you lived with ever since Myung-gi broke things off with you. But you were totally moved on now! It's been a month... that's a lot of time... right? ☓﹕ The sharply dressed man beside you broke your train of thought. Addressing you very formally, he offered you the opportunity to play a game. What game? , ddakji - for a cash prize every time you flipped his card to the opposite side. By the time you finally gave him an ounce of acknowledgment, most people had already gotten on their designated train. The station was empty and you still had awhile so why not? ☓﹕Shockingly you had won a majority of the rounds. Your arms shot up as soon as you saw his card flip over. He may have gotten one or two slaps in after you flat-out told him you had no more money on you to pay for your losses. "That's okay, you'll pay with your body.", excuse me? ☓﹕By the time he handed you the money he now owed you, he quickly started to latch up his briefcase. Trying to bring levity to the situation, he stopped you before you could get any other words in. From his pocket, he slipped out a card. A circle, triangle, and square on the front of it. Flipping it over it looked to be a phone number. Examining it with keen eyes you heard him mutter "Have a great rest of your evening." under his breath. Before you could thank him or do such a thing he was already gone. ☓﹕Vanished right before your eyes. Your head spun around, eyes landing on the now arriving train. Time to think about this and more once you finish your trek home.

☓﹕If it was only a little game, how hard could it be? You needed the help desperately. No matter how pathetic it was you called the number. Giving the unknown voice on the other end your name and birthday. Quickly and precisely they explained where and when you would be picked up. ☓﹕Seemed easy enough from your point of view. The place they referred you to was one of the largest shopping centers in Seoul. The time was way after the park's hours. It was odd but guaranteed a spacious and empty environment for the pickup to happen. As you listened you couldn't help but feel a low twisting in your gut. This felt wrong, not right at all. You were too far gone now. So you agreed to the terms and hung up the phone.

☓﹕The day finally arrived. You tried to get your assets in order. Told ones closest to you that you'd be busy due to a "new job offer." It was shocking how they all bought the lie. You just wanted to make a quick buck to lessen your debt, that's all. Your eyes flicked down to your phone as you clicked it on. The breeze rustled your hair. The home screen of your phone reads that it is finally midnight. You had gotten there earlier than told on the phone. ☓﹕Just to shake the impending nerves away. It felt like a bust because right on schedule, a van arrived. A masked man rolled down the window and stated your name. Your eyes widened as that pit feeling got deeper and deeper. The door of the van slid open and you slid inside the vehicle. Getting a feel for the van you right saw the slumped-down bodies beside you. Your throat tightened as you tried to find answers to your questions. Before you knew it heavy gas started to fill the backseat. The car whirred to life as you slowly collapsed, finally unconscious.

☓﹕By the time you awoke, you were met with the sounds of classical music and a bed. The metal squeaked gently as you sat up in the bunk bed where you lay. People who were dressed in similar attire as you, with numbers on their chests and backs littered the beds around you. Some were already starting to climb down and stand around on the main floor of the dormitory. Standing back, you were puzzled by where you now were. You were practically whisked away from your life on the outside. This wasn't disclosed in the phone call.

☓﹕Murmurs could be heard in the wide crowd of participants forming in the middle of the room. Others were scared of what this might entail, while some were dumbfounded by the swift change in scenery. The same masked men with different variations of their masks walked out, one outwardly greeting the bewildered players. Immediately as soon as they started taking questions, people kept on giving and giving. By now you had joined the crowd, standing more by the back wall of beds.

☓﹕All of a sudden your ears get all warm and irritated as soon as you hear a specific voice. The same voice of the guy who ripped your heart out and left it beating on the cold floor. Asking for his phone and wallet for market checking of all things? You were staring directly at the back of his head as he whined in annoyance. If it was anyone else, you would've been remorseful. These "guards", had stripped everyone of their personal belongings and usual clothes. But hearing that prick made your head get all hot and all rationality gets just as fuzzy.

☓﹕On the screen they displayed multiple of the players. Their individual names, and the debt amount they had to their name. Myung-gi's face flashed on screen with his hair mostly hidden with a bucket hat. Playing the same game you had when the recruiter found you in that subway. His face getting slapped, holding his cheek. You especially heard ringing in his ears when you heard he had CHARGES against him?

☓﹕During the time you had spent with him, he never once brought that up. Nor the crypto coin scam he ran on multiple people. Other player's faces followed after his. One person's debt reaching into the billions. But your head was spinning at the fact that maybe you didn't know your ex-boyfriend that well. You weren't judgemental of the fact that he dealt with cryptocurrency. Which was probably your biggest mistake. The rose-colored glasses were even more damaged now. Who really had you been dating for those five months?

☓﹕After the square guards' passionate but monotone speech, consent forms were immediately dished out. Four guards stood at each individual post. Handing participants pens to sign the contracts, the rules all in bold. Your number was somewhere in the middle of the large range of game participants. So let's just say you stood around in that line for a while. You didn't really take the time to strike up a conversation with anyone.

☓﹕An older woman, the same one who was arguing with her son earlier was behind you. She was kind enough to take the initiative. She seemed like a nurturing sweetheart. Her words were kind to you as she asked you why you were here and other small talk. It was the most sympathy you had heard from someone in a while. Finding the time to crack a grin of three as she commented "You look like a respectful kid." It was the most conversation you had... since you had gotten here.

☓﹕You two both discussed how this may work. The entire you mostly listened as she talked about how this all seemed "too bizarre for her tastes." You chuckled, cluelessly shrugging with a "We'll find out soon enough." Her son the entire time was trying to get his mom's attention. But she was determined to keep on talking to you. Until it was your turn to sign your signature. ☓﹕Glancing over the rules your head cocked to the side a little. Already here, it felt useless to back out. Leaving with nothing is worse than leaving with something. Readjusting your hold on the pen you quickly signed the contract. Gently placing the pen back down where it sat before, your mind now clear, you started to walk out and away from the four single-file lines. ☓﹕Until you heard a scuffle at the other side of the room. Chu Su-bong and another player were towering over another player. You don't realize who the victim was until you hear the purple-haired one rather loudly announce the name "MG Coin." You wanted to scoff at the cheesy name. Clearly, if those guys were picking a fight with Myung-gi they must've been the people who invested in the coin. ☓﹕You know what? , serves him right. Facing his comeuppance face-on and head-on. But you couldn't help but feel some odd form of pity as you watched Su-bong almost swing on "MG Coin." Thankfully the other player riled him down. The two walked off and the air in the room stayed as stale as it was before. Something inside of you was eager to approach Myung-gi. Before you could stop yourself your feet were already walking to where he was sitting.

☓﹕He looked so small and so pitiful. His head was in his hands as he rubbed his face. Your steps were precise as you walked towards him. Your arms were crossed as you looked him up and down. "Was I just some joke to you?" You sneered. As soon as he heard you his head shot up. Eyebrows creased and mouth agape. The last time he had spoken to you, he didn't expect you to be here of the sort at all.

☓﹕"What are you even doing here?" He whispered, trying to keep his volume to a low. Not to make another fool of himself again. "I should be asking what you're doing here? Oh wait, never mind, I know. Guess I was dating a criminal. I wasted a lot on you. Supporting you, listening to you, being an above-average decent human being for you? And you repay me by keeping me in the dark about something as big as this?" You snapped back at him. Not holding back any resentment that grew towards him during your mutual time apart.

☓﹕"It's not like that-" Your eyes went wide and your jaw fully dropped. "No, I think it is like that. You don't hide stuff like this from someone Myung-gi! What was I even to you? And by your actions.. clearly nothing." He couldn't stop the scoff escaping him, which just pissed you off even more. "Do you ever stop talking? Everything was always my fault when it came to you. But when I tried to explain myself you'd immediately patronize me." ☓﹕"Patrionize you?! You didn't tell me you were wanted by the authorities! For five months, I thought you were just struggling. That's why I helped you so much. That's why I practically let you live with me after a while-" The realization came to you. Was he just using you to hide from the cops? He put his hands up in between the two of you. "When I met you I was in a rock and an even harder place. I-I was trying to turn a new leaf... I had hurt so many people. But you took me in and I..." ☓﹕"And you what? Found an easy cash grab to live off of until you felt guilty enough in that bitter heart of yours?" Your words pierced every muscle in his body. "I loved you, you piece of shit. I loved you a lot. You met my parents! You saw the best of me. You are acting like our time together was nothing. I for sure thought it was something and guess you didn't feel the same." A sigh left you as you got everything out. Everything that started to slowly form after you got that text.

☓﹕"... Are you only here to scream at me? Right now, here? Gotten it out of your system?" His words were like an even deeper twist of the knife. He clearly could see on your face that his response was the incorrect thing to say. He tried to stammer out an apology but you were already backing away. "I'm here to revel in your misery. I've seen enough... good luck." ☓﹕Turning around you noticed a specific player in the sea of people looking at you. She was sitting by one of the bunks. A hand gently cradled her stomach. Her eyes looked glazed over with unshed tears. Her stare was icy and almost demeaning as you looked back at her. They told a story that you didn't quite understand, at least not now. Shrugging it off you went to go find a place to cool down before the first game.

☓﹕It was comical hearing what the first game was. A children's game you used to play with your classmates when you were young. Shouldn't be that off-putting on the outside. Definitely was more with the larger-than-life doll staring all four hundred and fifty-six players down from the finish line. An older man, the 456th player, immediately ran up before the games even started. Yelling that this wasn't just any ordinary game. That lives were at stake and the doll had motion sensor eyes?

☓﹕You definitely started to believe him along with many others once the first player died. One by one gunshots rang out. Bodies were either piled up at the entrances or littered across the sandy ground. People immediately changed their tune and began to run in a lot more of an ordered fashion. Because the doll would only pick up the first person's motions. In following the orders this stranger shouted you actually made it to the finish line. You shockingly made it out alive... only after the first game. ☓﹕After a good chunk of the players were left, everyone was escorted through that colorful maze of stairs back to the dormitory. People were practically cowering in fear and begging for mercy from the guards. The same stranger who had practically saved the lives of every remaining player urged for a vote to take place. Since it was in the forms and already promised, it had to be done. ☓﹕The bloodshed you saw was terrifying. People dropped like flies even if their hands were trembling. It was mortifying to see so up close. By the time your number was called you immediately felt a sense of determination. You weren't desperate enough to watch others lose their lives while participating in gruesome children's games. Nor did you want to die here and have no one you knew realize you died. You'd rather get your body stripped for parts.

☓﹕It wasn't shocking that Myung-gi went for the opposite side as you. You clearly barely knew the man, so anything made sense at this point. It was neck and neck, practically so close to having your side win. But one person broke that, and the opposing side ended up winning. Their cheers were met with broken hearts and people who had just lost a fraction of their hope. ☓﹕The air in the room was building with tension. As players were given food one by one by the circle guards, the entire time in line you could only think about one thing. The girl who was staring daggers into your soul. You didn't know if it truly was something to worry about. But hell you had a ton of time to kill. So you thought the best thing to do was to try and ask the million-dollar question.

☓﹕You slinked back to the side. Your eyes scan around the spacious area to look for her. You recognized the same head of the older woman you had conversed with. During the first game, you noticed that in a fleeting second, the two had conversed. It must've been something to do with that. Right away you started walking over. Her son giving you the perfect moment to approach player 222.

☓﹕She was eating her food, not noticing your steps. At least that's what it looked like. You gripped the water bottle in your hand. Clearing your throat, you two made eye contact. Her gaze was less hurtful. More hollow, as if she was yearning for something. But you had no idea what. Words were stuck in your throat, you were at a loss. ☓﹕"Can I help you...?" Her tone was cautious as she let her tin of food rest in her lap. Her arms were more closed, resting towards her side. You stammered out a "Here." Your hand offered up the water bottle. Her eyes looked at the hand, and then back to you. Almost as if she was waiting for you to finish your sentence.

☓﹕"I-I saw you earlier in the game ... I know it's impolite but it was all just me guessing I didn't mean to offend you-" You were surprised you weren't cartoonishly slipping on a banana peel here. Expecting her to cut you off, she still kept on staring back at you. "Thank you." She whispered as the palm of her hand opened. You immediately handed her the water bottle.

☓﹕The quiet was suffocating. Everyone's conversation and consumption drowned out your subconscious. "Are you Jun-hee?" You abruptly questioned her. She lost all the color in her face. Instead of responding to you verbally, she nodded her head as she stared down into her lap.

☓﹕You could easily connect the dots. Myung-gi had mentioned her by name once when you asked him about his previous partner. She was here, trying to win to make money for Myung-gis unborn child. You had lived five months blissfully unaware of this, of any of this. "Is that why you were watching me earlier?" You asked with a tremble of your lip. Repeating her prior action, she nodded her head. ☓﹕"Oh my god... I... I'm so sorry." Your words were a mess as your past relationship with this perfect guy broke apart. You had fit each other so perfectly. You didn't expect this behavior from him, how could you? Jun-hee was clearly holding in a lot. But she couldn't muster any anger. You clearly were clueless about his lies. By the way, your eyes went wide and your mouth parted, she couldn't stop herself from feeling pity for you. ☓﹕"When I told him, he originally wanted me to get rid of it. Said that we'd handle it." She spoke up as her tone of voice wavered. "I had already invested into that Dalmation coin and he was being hounded by the cops. By then I found out about its failure, he already left my life without another word. I decided that our child didn't have a father anymore and kept it. It's been six months."

☓﹕Anger burned in your chest. Jun-hee looked like a sweet girl. She was so beautiful, like a little button. You felt wronged and betrayed but also vengeful? She stopped you from thinking any harder. "I don't need him. So please do not feel bad for me. When he left he lost his chance. I tried too many times to be there for him, but he didn't try once for me. He's not a good guy."

☓﹕Your head lulled in recognition as you listened intently. "I-I seriously had no idea. He told me a whole other story." She simply shrugged at your response. "That sounds like Myung-gi." She remarked in a reserved way of speech. You couldn't help but crack a small laugh in defeat because it sure was him. ☓﹕You felt pure remorse running through your veins. You extended a vine of friendship to the poor girl. "I know we know each other for the worst of reasons. But... I hold only anger for that man. If you need anything or anyone, you have a friend in me Jun-hee." You lamented as your shoulders lost some of the tension they held before. ☓﹕She plastered a small but noticeable smile on her face. Either real or fake, you took it as a win either way. "I appreciate your kindness." She politely remarked as her head bowed at you, you did the same. "You are a good person. I hope we make it out together and can form a real friendship." That seemed to lighten her spirits. "I hope so as well." Her words were direct but her tone was soft and gentle. ☓﹕You were already bothering her enough. With a small wave of your hand to bid her farewell, you began to walk away. Opening up your tin of food you spent the next couple of hours picking at the once-enclosed meal. You were too stuck in the past. Every sweet moment you had with Myung-gi rotted and turned sour. The only things that gave you any ease at night were thinking back to your exchange with Jun-hee and the warm glow of all the prize money in the middle of the ceiling.

☓﹕The next morning came as a definite wake-up call. The same classical elegant tune blared over the speakers. You wished you could curl back into bed with the pillow muffling the repentant noise. But thanks to the system in place you were stuck here. People were quickly rising out of beds, no one really stopping to sit.

☓﹕Walking down to stand at your bed post you noticed two familiar figures conversing. Myung-gis bruised face and Jun-hees stern brow. You could remember the fight that broke out in the middle of the room, and the reason why he looked so beat up. The same purple-haired guy, Su-Bong beating down on him with the help of what looked to be his sort of right-hand man. Only until the same player who broke the vote count tie stepped in. Myung-gis and Jun-hees exchange didn't look pleasant but no time to focus on that. Guards were already walking in, ready to escort every current participant through the game hall.

☓﹕After making it through the long and winding staircases, you were brought into a large room. It almost resembled an elementary playground. With the bright colors and two rainbow roads, as well as the back walls resembling a sort of school structure. You were set to make teams of five with ten minutes on the clock. Nobody wasted any time in finding teammates. You were having a hard time locating one to join.

☓﹕Time was ticking down bit by bit. It felt more like five minutes to decide who to team with as you saw people right away strategizing. Your fingers danced at your sides as you cautiously walked around. You had gotten rejected from two groups. One because they were already full, with wishes of good luck as you walked away. The other one was because they were also full and you didn't have "the look." ☓﹕Suddenly you heard someone trying to get another person's attention. When you looked back you saw that someone was trying to get your attention. The same guy who was ready to beat Myung-gi to a pulp if he had the chance. The same guy who was pushing people over in the first game as if they were only dominos. He walked with pride as two men followed behind him, one of them the same person who was also beating up on Myung-gi. ☓﹕"Owww Senorita... you're too cute to be alone. Let's play this game together." He purred as he approached you. His arms were crossed and his chest was clearly puffed up. Player 124 clearly didn't look happy about this. Chewing at his inner cheek with an unpleased look on his face. Player 256 was clearly awe-struck with the guy, practically ready to kiss the ground he walked on. ☓﹕You would rather get gunned down than be stuck with this guy and his lackeys. It was a hefty gamble... that's why you never participated in the act. Besides he may get you killed in the next game, if not in this one. So you flashed on a polite but guarded expression. "Sorry but, I'm alright over here." Player 124 scoffed in relief as Su-Bongs head turned back, almost as if sending him a long and lengthy message only with a glare.

☓﹕"It's only you over here though. Come onnn... I'll protect you the whole game. You don't have to worry about anything when you are in the Thanos world. It's a pretty perfect deal." He smirked with confidence. On accident you let a sheepish laugh slip out. He took that as the initiative to push even harder on your buttons.

☓﹕"Whatever the game is I'll destroy anything that tries to tear us apart." He hummed with a boyishly sinister way of speech. You've denied him multiple times by now. Before another polite "no" could be added to that list, you looked up to notice Myung-gi. He was standing in between you and Thanos. His feet are firmly planted in the ground. The clock just now ticked past four minutes.

☓﹕"Ahhh MG Coin, I'm a little busy over here." Thanos snarked as he took a step back. Myung-gi huffed out a reply, "She said no man. So listen to that and go find two other people." By the way, Thanos's expression appeared; he thought this was humorful. "Are you looking to continue where we last left off, MG Coin? I think your purple and new red would look nice together." He replied with promise laced around every word. ☓﹕Myung-gi wasn't backing down and you were taken aback. His body guards Thanos from approaching close to you a step further. Why was he doing this? The clock on the wall took no pause for this. Clearly, this little confrontation was only wasting time. Thanos backed down but "took it to heart." He placed his hands on his chest in a quick heart rate motion. "You hurt my feelings MG Coin. Thanos never forgets." He emphasized his statement as he and the two other players walked away in the opposite direction.

☓﹕As as the three men leave out of sight he's already turning around to face you. "Are you okay?" His voice was signaturely dry but almost sweet. Outwardly trying to sound as apologetic as possible without saying it. You hadn't seen Myung-gi act like that in a while. It definitely made something in you stir. But you weren't going to say anything of that. He was met with a similar closed-off attitude he was met with by Jun-hee. This time with anger simmering beneath the surface. ☓﹕"Is that your way of apologizing?" You remarked with no remorse. "I-I do feel terrible about what I said. Please... I'll explain it to you after you join me." Your eyebrows creased, your expression reading like he had just dropped a bomb of news onto you. "You don't have a team and the people I partnered with - we need one more person... I'm begging you." His voice was finally filled with genuine emotion and emotion that wasn't him whining about problems he caused. ☓﹕"Fine." Your response was one note but that's all that he needed. He led you over to the group of older men. They were much more friendly faces than some of the participants you had to interact with. The game was finally introduced, more like the game and minigames were introduced. Right away, as soon as the monotone voice on the speakers was done explaining the ins and outs, you all started talking about what games would be your biggest strengths. ☓﹕Watching each team go up was like a game of chance. Either both teams would cross the finish line with triumph and hurrahs of joy and relief. One would have their moment in the spotlight of victory while the other would be mercilessly gunned down. Teams who didn't even make it past the second or third game would be shot without notice by the time the timer was done. You tried to stay as focused as you could, examining the surviving team's strategies for your group's potential success.

☓﹕By the time yours and Myung-gis's team went up, there was still a pretty size-able audience left of players. You kept your hands gripped into fists as a circle guard locked your ankles together. The previous rounds of gunfire from the guards still rang in your ears. But your top priority was to survive all five games and make it out of this one alive. You weren't going to die running around a rainbow road playing some small little minigames anytime soon, that was below you. The five of you felt that same momentum coursing through your veins , and then you were off.

☓﹕The sportsmanship that coursed through the crowd with previous teams was already heavy. But experiencing that yourself felt electrifying. Like the only time players who wanted to leave and those who wanted to stay felt truly equal. It was another asset that pushed you and your fellow teammates to finish every game with perfect precision. Your mind wasn’t focused on your potential demise when your turn arrived. The cheers made you focus on the task in front of you.

☓﹕It was with Myung-gis's final kick that your team made it. You made it with time to spare! Arms quickly locked together, each final step you and your teammates made was quick and firm. Everyone erupted with applause and cheers as your team jumped around with utter relief and joy. You had the freedom to walk out with your spirits still held, being led back to the dormitory by a couple of the guards. ☓﹕Making it back, there were only a few teams in there. You had recognized the same familiar face of the older woman. The same woman who was conversing with Jun-hee and one of the winning teams. Other groups of players were littered around in tight units. Only some looked back to the door to see who arrived back. ☓﹕ It was a lot more quieter now compared to before the second game began. This made sense since more five-player teams still had to compete and make it out alive. The door unlatched open and you were absorbed in the ambiance of whispers and emptiness. You gave gentle nods of recognition as your older teammates boasted about your combined success. You noticed how sullen Myung-gi was. ☓﹕Your stomach contorted as a deep sigh left you. "Hey." He heard you call out to him. You were walking directly behind him. He slowly spun around to face you. His eyes bore into the ground under the two of you. "I-I know I... I know I messed up. Especially with you and I am sorry." He looked up to face you. But you were trying to guide him away to a more secluded area of the multiple bunks. He followed you like a lost puppy. ☓﹕You sat down on the edge of a random bunk, the metal under you squeaking at the sudden pressure. He sat down right beside you, arms hanging low in his lap. You looked to him as to give him the room to speak, to "explain himself." You could hear how tight his chest was while he spoke. Bursts of air left his upper frame at every grating word that left his mouth. ☓﹕"When I met you... I was a mess." Your head lulled in a nod as a sign for him to continue. "I had hurt so many people, so many people I once held close to me. But you didn't know who I was. You looked at me like... no one else had. You were someone who still thought of me with some respect. I-I didn't want to ruin the image you had of me so I was a coward and hid that from you." A shaky chuckle left him. His words were so warm, they reminded you of the good times you two shared together. But you were past feeling pity for him, it was more so guilt now. Guilt for a relationship built on falsities that you participated in. ☓﹕Your head turned in his general direction. But your eyes didn't meet him. "Were you using me?", you bluntly asked. "No... I took the help you offered me. I was happy with you-" Your eyes began to water. "I know about Jun-hee." He almost looked surprised as the two of you locked eyes. "... I didn't know about it. I didn't know she kept it." A sheepish chuckle left you as you wiped away falling tears from your eyes. Dribbling down your cheeks, staining them with your constant reminder of turmoil. You didn't want to cry in front of him, but he noticed. ☓﹕"My life was falling apart. I had people out there who wanted to see me hang for what I had done. Which ... wasn't entirely my fault if you think about it. I met you and you closed up all my wounds. You didn't look at me with shame so many others did. I finally felt good about myself for once in a very long time. But then my feelings just grew too complicated. I didn't want to pop our little bubble.. so... I ran away." ☓﹕"You're an asshole." Your words had so much emotion in them. But he couldn't help himself. "I know I am. I regret the times I could have been better... for you." A long and lengthy pause for silence grew in between the two of you. You rubbed your eyes as you thought of whatever you could say next. You were too tired to argue with him. "Do you promise me that if you make it out of this alive, with her, you'll be a better man..?" It was a dumb question to ask of him. Could men like Myung-gi ever change?

☓﹕"Yes. One hundred times yes." He nodded his head adamantly. Your expression was bittersweet. Your head lulled in a nod one more time before you just sat there with him. He turned his head away from your direction. Staring down into the floor, the silence shared between the two of you was almost comforting. It was a familiar sort of ember that burned in the coldness that was your entire relationship. -> "I hate your guts." He smiled, hearing an emotion that wasn't resentment in your voice. "You have every right to."

― ꒰AUTHORS NOTE: Aghhh I know this one was really angsty I'm sorry!! Guys, I love angst can you tell? The idea seemed so somber like u 2 r so tragic it’s aghhhhhh. I really hope this was an enjoyable read. If you’re interested in sending me a request , check out my currently pinned post<3 Ly all , byeee!!! ( ^ . . ^ )

[cherryxbooo]

I've got you ... always

Summary: Working as a Mercedes engineer has always been challenging, but with men constantly looking down on you, it becomes unbearable. Lewis is quick to put a stop to it, and fight for justice.

Note: First of all, I want to thank all of you for the love you've shown me so far. I really appreciate it! 🤍 The reason I chose this storyline is to address the issue of sexism and misogyny in workplaces. Unfortunately, this still happens far too often, and with this fic, I hope to bring much-needed attention to this subject. Just know you're not alone 🫶

Reader x Lewis Hamilton

Warning: misogyny and sexism

It had been nearly six years since I first joined Mercedes as an engineer.

Six years of intense work, late nights, early mornings, and a relentless pursuit of perfection in the world of Formula 1.

It was my dream job, one I had worked tirelessly to achieve.

But those six years also marked the time I’d spent with Lewis, six years of love, laughter, and challenges with the man who had become my everything.

I could still remember the day we met as if it were yesterday.

A bit of backstory:

I was the newest member of the Mercedes team, fresh out of a competitive hiring process, and I was determined to make an impression.

The first time I stepped into the paddock, I felt like an imposter among the sea of seasoned professionals.

My hands clutched my tablet like a lifeline as I walked into a strategy meeting, trying to suppress the nervous flutter in my chest.

Lewis was already there, sitting at the far end of the room. He looked relaxed, dressed casually in his signature streetwear style, yet exuding an unmistakable aura of confidence.

As I took a seat near the back, his eyes flicked toward me.

I was sure he wouldn’t even notice me, why would he?

I was just another new face among dozens of team members.

But then, he smiled.

It wasn’t one of those polite, obligatory smiles.

It was warm and genuine, as if he could sense my nerves and wanted to reassure me.

That smile was like a silent message:

You belong here.

Over the next few weeks, our paths crossed more frequently.

At first, it was just in passing, a quick hello in the garage, a casual “How’s it going?” during lunch breaks.

But it didn’t take long for us to start talking. Really talking.

It was during a particularly chaotic race weekend in Silverstone that our friendship began to solidify.

A last-minute weather change had thrown everyone into a frenzy, and I found myself staying late in the garage to run some last-minute simulations.

The paddock was nearly empty when Lewis walked in, still in his racing suit, and caught me muttering to myself as I tried to make sense of the data.

“Long night?” he asked, leaning against the workbench with a lopsided grin.

“You have no idea,” I replied with a tired laugh, glancing up from my screen.

He stayed and talked with me for over an hour, even offering a few insights that helped me crack the issue I was stuck on.

By the time he left, I realized that the nervousness I’d felt around him was gone.

He wasn’t just Lewis Hamilton, seven-time world champion.

He was kind, funny, and incredibly easy to talk to.

From that moment on, our friendship grew effortlessly.

Whether it was over post-race debriefs, team dinners, or stolen moments between the chaos of race weekends, we found ourselves drawn to each other.

We bonded over a shared love for what we did, but also over our differences, his world of high-speed fame and my quieter, behind-the-scenes role.

It wasn’t long before I realized my feelings for him had shifted.

I hadn’t planned on falling for him, but Lewis had a way of breaking down walls without even trying.

He made me laugh when I was stressed, listened intently when I rambled about work, and made me feel seen in a way I hadn’t experienced before.

One evening, after a long day at the factory, he invited me out for dinner.

It wasn’t anything fancy, just a cozy little restaurant tucked away.

Over plates of pasta and glasses of wine, we talked about everything from our childhoods to our dreams for the future.

By the end of the night, when he walked me to my car, he hesitated for just a moment before leaning in to kiss me.

That was the beginning of us.

For a long time, we kept our relationship private. We both wanted to protect what we had, to keep it ours without the scrutiny of the public eye.

But as the months turned into years, it became harder to hide.

Fans started noticing the subtle signs, the way Lewis would glance at me during interviews, or how I always seemed to be nearby during race weekends.

When we finally decided to go public, it wasn’t a grand announcement or a carefully curated statement.

It was a simple photo posted on Lewis’s Instagram.

We were in Monaco, sitting on a terrace overlooking the harbor, the golden light of sunset washing over us.

I didn’t even know he’d taken the picture until he showed it to me later that night.

“Should I post it?” he asked, his voice tentative.

I hesitated, thinking of the attention it would bring, but then I looked at him, at the way his eyes softened as he waited for my answer.

“Yeah,” I said with a smile. “Let’s do it.”

The response back then was overwhelming.

Fans flooded the comments with messages of support, and the media couldn’t stop speculating about us.

But through it all, Lewis and I stayed grounded, reminding each other that our relationship wasn’t for anyone else.

It was for us.

One of the things that made our relationship so strong was our ability to communicate.

From the very beginning, we had promised to tell each other everything, our fears, our frustrations, our dreams.

No topic was off-limits.

Whether it was a rough qualifying session for him or a challenging project for me, we leaned on each other without hesitation.

At least, that’s how it used to be.

Lately, I hadn’t been able to keep my promise to Lewis, to tell him everything, to lean on him like I always had.

The reason? Mark, Alan, and Greg.

They were three senior engineers on the team, men who had been with Mercedes long before I joined.

Older, more experienced, and as I had quickly discovered, painfully set in their ways.

From the very beginning, they had made it clear that they didn’t think I belonged.

I still remember the first time I overheard them.

It was during my second week on the job, and I was running a simulation late at night.

They didn’t realize I was in the corner of the garage, headphones off, sorting through notes.

“Hiring for diversity quotas,” Mark had muttered, his voice dripping with disdain.

“Yeah, they want to tick a box, so they bring in the fresh-faced rookie,” Alan had added with a chuckle.

Greg, ever the opportunist, chimed in,

“Let’s see how long she lasts when the pressure’s on.”

"She's better off making us a sandwich."

Their words had stung, sharp and bitter, but I had swallowed my pride.

I told myself that proving them wrong would be the best revenge.

I worked harder than I ever had in my life, triple-checking my calculations, volunteering for extra tasks, staying long hours to ensure that my work was flawless.

And for a while, I thought it had paid off.

At first, the snide remarks tapered off.

They didn’t engage with me much, but at least they stopped openly questioning my abilities.

I had even started to think that maybe, just maybe, I had earned their respect.

But lately, the comments had returned, and they were worse than ever.

It started subtly, dismissive sighs during meetings when I spoke, or whispered conversations that stopped the moment I entered the room.

Childish right?

Then the snark escalated, cutting through my carefully built confidence like a knife.

“Did you even double-check this?”

Alan had sneered last week after a team briefing, gesturing at the simulation results I’d spent days perfecting.

Greg, never one to miss a chance to pile on, smirked as he added,

“Leave the big decisions to people who actually know what they’re doing.”

Then Mark's voice was heard,

"Yeah, go do the laundry or something, whatever you women are good in."

It was always wrapped in the guise of banter, thinly veiled behind forced smiles and casual tones.

But I wasn’t naïve.

There was a sharpness to their words, a deliberate attempt to undermine me that cut deeper each time.

Even Mark, the one who usually played the “neutral” party, had started joining in.

During a debrief on a race strategy I’d helped design, he had scoffed and muttered,

“Well, I guess every team needs its token young genius.”

It was relentless.

Every day, there was something, a comment, a glance, a dismissive laugh that made my blood boil.

But I kept it all to myself.

I told myself that it wasn’t worth causing a scene, especially now.

Lewis had enough on his plate.

His move to Ferrari had been the talk of the motorsport world, and while he was excited for the new challenge, the transition was anything but easy.

here were endless negotiations, media commitments, and the emotional weight of leaving the team that had been his family for over a decade.

I couldn’t bring this to him, not now.

Not when he was already stretched thin.

So, I stayed quiet.

I bit my tongue when Alan questioned my calculations, ignored Greg’s condescending remarks, and pretended not to hear Mark’s muttered jokes.

Each time, I told myself it was just words, that I could handle it.

But deep down, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could.

Lewis was busy.

I kept telling myself that over and over, like a mantra.

Between announcing his move to Ferrari, dealing with the media frenzy, juggling sponsorship demands, and the seemingly endless meetings, he had so much on his plate.

The last thing he needed was me adding my problems to the mix.

But today was different.

The garage was buzzing with activity as we prepped for the upcoming race weekend.

The sound of drills, clinking tools, and the hum of engines filled the air, a symphony of chaos I had grown to love over the years.

I was stationed at my usual spot, hunched over a set of data sheets, meticulously double-checking the aerodynamics report for any inconsistencies.

I was deep in concentration, my pen scratching against the paper, when their voices drifted over.

Mark’s gruff tone was unmistakable.

“What’s the point of her even being here? Probably just a pretty face for the team photos.”

I froze, my hand pausing mid-note.

My heart sank, but I willed myself to stay calm, telling myself to ignore it like always.

Alan, never one to pass up an opportunity, snorted.

“Yeah, but even that’s debatable.”

Their laughter was casual, almost conversational, but the sting of their words hit me like a whip.

Then Greg joined in, his tone dripping with mockery.

“She’s only here because she’s shagging the driver or maybe even the boss. Imagine thinking she got this job on her own merit.”

Mark laughed before adding,

"Maybe we can all ask her for a turn as well, if it's that easy to shag the boss, we might have a chance too."

"At the end of the day, that's all they're good at. Women don't belong in the motorsport world."

The room was filled with their laughter.

That was it.

My pen slipped from my fingers, clattering onto the table as my hands began to shake.

I stared at the numbers on the page, but they were a blur, overshadowed by the burning heat of humiliation rising in my chest.

For years, I had endured their passive-aggressive comments, their dismissive attitudes, their constant undermining of my capabilities.

I had told myself it didn’t matter, that their opinions didn’t define me.

But hearing them reduce everything I had worked for, the late nights, the sweat, the tears, the sacrifices, to nothing more than being Lewis Hamilton’s girlfriend?

It was too much.

I clenched my fists under the table, my nails digging into my palms as I tried to hold it together.

But their laughter, light and cruel, echoed in my ears, shredding the last of my composure.

I pushed back my chair abruptly, the screech of metal against the concrete floor silencing the room for a brief moment.

My vision blurred with unshed tears as I grabbed my tablet and notes, clutching them to my chest like armor.

I didn’t dare look at them, I couldn’t.

My breath hitched, and my chest felt tight, like the walls were closing in.

I needed to get out. Now.

Without a word, I turned and stormed out of the garage, my footsteps heavy and uneven.

I didn’t care where I was going; I just needed space, air, something to stop the lump in my throat from turning into a sob.

As I walked away, their laughter faded into the background, but the words lingered, etched into my mind like a scar.

I didn’t know where I was going.

My feet carried me blindly, weaving through the maze of garages and team trailers until I found myself at the paddock’s edge.

It was quieter here, away from the relentless hum of activity, the chatter of crew members, and the ever-present cameras.

I sank onto a bench beneath the shade of a tree, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath.

Burying my face in my hands, I let out a shaky sigh.

My mind replayed their words like a broken record, each snide comment cutting deeper than the last.

"What’s the point of her being here?"

"Probably just a pretty face for the team photos."

"She’s only here because she’s shagging the driver."

The worst part was that they’d managed to plant a seed of doubt.

I had worked so hard to get here, put in countless hours, and sacrificed so much to prove myself in this male-dominated field.

And yet, in this moment, I felt like a fraud, like I didn’t belong.

“Y/n?”

The sound of Lewis’s voice cut through the fog in my mind.

I looked up sharply, my breath catching when I saw him standing a few feet away, his brow furrowed in concern.

He must have followed me.

My stomach twisted in a mix of guilt and relief.

The last thing I wanted was for him to see me like this, vulnerable, crumbling under the weight of my emotions.

“What’s wrong my love?” he asked, stepping closer and crouching down in front of me.

His warm, dark eyes searched mine, his hands gently resting on my knees.

The concern etched into his face made my heart ache.

“Nothing,” I lied, quickly wiping at my face.

Lewis raised an eyebrow, his expression soft but skeptical.

“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out.”

I hesitated, my resolve cracking under his steady gaze.

His presence was grounding, but I didn’t want to pull him into my mess.

“It’s nothing, really,” I tried again, forcing a weak smile.

“I just… I’m tired.”

“Y/n.”

His voice was low and firm, but there was a tenderness to it that made my throat tighten.

“Please. Talk to me.”

That was all it took.

The dam broke, and the words spilled out in a rush.

I told him everything, the comments, the dismissive attitudes, the years of enduring their quiet but cutting condescension.

My voice wavered as I explained how it had worsened recently, how their snide remarks had crossed the line into outright insults.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

“You’ve been under so much pressure with everything, Ferrari, the media, the season. I didn’t want to be another problem for you to deal with.”

Lewis listened intently, his face unreadable as I spoke.

But the slight tightening of his jaw and the way his hands gripped mine told me he was anything but indifferent.

When I finished, there was a long silence.

I stared down at my hands, afraid to meet his eyes.

“They’ve been doing this for years?”

he finally asked, his voice low and tightly controlled.

I nodded, biting my lip. “It wasn’t always this bad, but yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t want to add to your stress,” I said softly.

“You’ve been dealing with so much already.”

Lewis let out a slow, measured breath, his grip on my hands tightening.

“Y/n, nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important to me than you.”

His voice softened, but there was a fierce protectiveness beneath his words.

“You should’ve told me. They don’t get to treat you like this. Ever. No woman deserves this kind of treatment.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Lewis was already standing.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, his expression dark with determination.

“Lewis, what are you doing?” I asked, standing as well.

He glanced at me, his jaw set.

“I’m making sure this doesn’t happen again.”

I reached out, touching his arm.

“Lewis, please—”

“Y/n.” He turned to face me fully, his eyes locking onto mine.

“You’ve put up with this for far too long. I’m not letting it slide, and neither should you. This is your workplace, your passion. You shouldn’t have to deal with people who try to tear you down.”

His words hit me hard, a mix of anger and love wrapped in every syllable.

I nodded slowly, my throat tight with emotion.

“Good,” he said, his voice softening as he pulled me into a hug.

His arms wrapped around me tightly, and for a moment, I let myself melt into his warmth.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured into my hair. “Always.”

By mid-afternoon, the entire paddock was filled with noice.

Meetings with Toto were rarely casual, and the tension in the air was palpable.

I stayed out of sight, nerves twisting in my stomach.

When Lewis had assured me earlier that he wouldn’t let this go, I’d believed him.

But seeing the immediate repercussions unfold was a different kind of catharsis.

The walk to Toto’s office felt longer than it should have, every step heavy with anticipation.

Lewis had his hand firmly on the small of my back, guiding me through the bustling paddock.

His touch was grounding, but my nerves still prickled under my skin.

“Relax,” he said softly, leaning closer.

“We’re handling this together.”

I nodded, though my stomach was a tangled mess of knots.

The last thing I wanted was to cause drama, but after years of enduring Mark, Alan, and Greg’s behavior, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

When we arrived at Toto’s office, Lewis didn’t bother knocking lightly.

He rapped his knuckles on the door with purpose.

“Come in,” came the familiar voice from inside.

Toto was seated behind his desk, a stack of papers neatly arranged to one side.

His brows lifted in mild surprise when he saw the two of us enter together, but he quickly gestured for us to take a seat.

“This seems serious,” Toto remarked, his sharp eyes flicking between us.

"What’s going on?”

Lewis glanced at me, silently asking if I wanted to start.

I hesitated, my fingers twisting in my lap.

Noticing my reluctance, Lewis leaned forward.

“It’s about some of the team dynamics,” he began, his voice calm but tinged with an unmistakable edge.

“Specifically, the way Mark, Alan, and Greg have been treating Y/n.”

Toto’s expression shifted, his posture straightening.

“Go on.”

I took a deep breath, summoning the courage to speak.

“For years now, they’ve made comments, snide remarks about my qualifications, my presence here. It started when I joined, but I brushed it off because I was new, and I thought I had to prove myself. But lately…”

My voice wavered, and I swallowed hard to steady it.

“Lately, it’s escalated. They’ve been openly dismissive of my work, undermining me during meetings, and even questioning my position on the team. Today, they went too far.”

Toto’s jaw tightened, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk.

“What happened today?”

Lewis’s hand found mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze as I recounted the incident.

“They implied I’m only here because I’m dating Lewis and that I used my body to get my position,”

I said quietly, the words tasting bitter in my mouth.

“And that I didn’t earn my role.”

Toto exhaled sharply, his expression darkening.

“That’s not all,” Lewis added, his tone hardening.

“This has been going on for years, Toto. Years. Y/n didn’t tell me sooner because she didn’t want to cause problems, but that’s no excuse. Those three have created a toxic environment, and it stops now.”

Toto’s gaze shifted to me, his stern demeanor softening slightly.

“Why didn’t you come to me earlier, Y/L/N? This isn’t the kind of behavior we tolerate here.”

I shrugged, feeling small under his scrutiny.

“I didn’t want to be seen as a troublemaker. They’ve been here longer than I have, and I didn’t think anyone would take my word over theirs. Plus, I didn’t want to add more stress to an already intense environment.”

Toto shook his head, his voice firm but understanding.

“You should never have to tolerate that. Not here, not anywhere. The Mercedes team prides itself on being a family. What you’ve described is unacceptable, and I take full responsibility for not noticing it sooner.”

Lewis leaned back in his chair, his jaw still tight.

“What’s the plan, Toto? Because I’m not letting this slide.”

Toto nodded, already making notes on a pad in front of him.

“First, I’ll be speaking to Mark, Alan, and Greg individually. They’ll be given the chance to explain themselves, not that there’s much room for justification here. If their behavior aligns with what you’ve described, they won’t be part of this team by the end of the day.”

A weight lifted off my chest at his words, but the tension in the room remained palpable.

“I want to be there,” Lewis said firmly.

Toto raised an eyebrow.

“Lewis—”

“No,” Lewis interrupted.

“This is personal. They didn’t just disrespect Y/n, they disrespected the team, the values we stand for, and me by extension. I need to make it clear that this behavior won’t be tolerated. From anyone.”

Toto regarded him for a moment before nodding.

“Fine. But let me handle the disciplinary side. You can say your piece, but I’ll deliver the consequences.”

Lewis nodded, satisfied.

“That works for me.”

Toto turned back to me, his expression softening once more.

“Y/n, I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this. If there’s anything else you need, support, time off, anything, let me know. I’ll make sure you feel safe and valued here.”

“Thank you,” I murmured, my voice thick with emotion.

Lewis stood, pulling me up with him.

“We appreciate it, Toto. Let us know when the meeting is.”

“You’ll hear from me shortly,”

Toto promised, standing to shake Lewis’s hand before giving me a reassuring nod.

As we left the office, I felt a sense of relief wash over me.

For the first time in years, I didn’t feel alone in this fight.

Lewis wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked down the corridor.

“We’ve got this,” he said softly, his voice full of conviction.

I leaned into him, a small smile tugging at my lips.

“Yeah, we do.”

Toto wasn’t one to waste time.

Within the hour, Mark, Alan, and Greg were called into his office one by one.

The first to arrive was Mark.

When he stepped in, he wore his usual smug expression, likely thinking this was just another routine meeting.

But Toto’s steely gaze and the presence of Lewis, standing tall with his arms crossed by the window, quickly shattered that notion.

“Have a seat, Mark,”

Toto said curtly, gesturing to the chair across from his desk.

Mark sat, shifting uncomfortably as he glanced between Toto and Lewis.

“What’s this about?”

Toto wasted no time.

“It’s about your behavior toward Y/L/N,” he said, his voice sharp and unwavering.

“I’ve been informed of your repeated condescension, disrespect, and comments that have no place in this team, or any professional setting.”

Mark blinked, caught off guard.

“What? That’s not true. I—”

“Don’t bother lying,” Lewis cut in, his voice cold and firm.

He stepped closer, his dark eyes fixed on Mark.

“We’ve both heard enough from Y/n and other team members. You’ve been targeting her for years, haven’t you? Questioning her qualifications, making snide remarks about her role here, and today, outright implying she only got her position because of me.”

Mark’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

“I… Look, it was just banter. No harm meant.”

“Banter?” Toto echoed, his tone dripping with disbelief.

“You call undermining one of the most talented engineers on this team banter? You call questioning her abilities and belittling her contributions banter?”

Mark leaned forward, desperation creeping into his voice.

“Toto, I didn’t mean anything by it! I was just—”

“Enough,” Toto interrupted, his voice cutting through the room like a blade.

“I won’t tolerate excuses. You’ve created a hostile environment for one of your colleagues, and that is unacceptable. You’ve not only disrespected Y/L/N but also the principles this team stands for. I don’t care how long you’ve been here, Mark. Your behavior is grounds for immediate dismissal.”

Mark paled, his smugness vanishing entirely.

“Dismissal? Wait, Toto, please. I’ve been with this team for years. You can’t just—”

“I can, and I will,” Toto said, his voice resolute.

“Pack your things. Security will escort you out by the end of the day.”

Mark turned to Lewis, desperation in his eyes.

“Lewis, you can’t agree with this. We’re teammates, for God’s sake!”

Lewis’s expression didn’t waver.

“You stopped being my teammate the moment you disrespected Y/n. Pack your things, Mark.”

Mark’s shoulders slumped, and he left the office in silence.

Next was Alan.

He walked in with a similar air of confidence, though it quickly dissipated when he noticed the tense atmosphere.

“Toto,” Alan began, sitting down and glancing uneasily at Lewis.

“What’s going on?”

Toto leaned forward, his hands clasped on the desk.

“What’s going on, Alan, is that your behavior toward Y/L/N has come to light. Years of dismissive comments, snide remarks, and today, a blatant attack on her credibility. Care to explain yourself?”

Alan frowned, leaning back in his chair.

“Look, I might’ve been a little hard on her, but it’s nothing personal. She’s young and still learning. I thought she could use a bit of tough love.”

Lewis scoffed from his spot by the window.

“Tough love? Is that what you call undermining her at every turn and insulting her in front of the team?”

Alan shifted uncomfortably.

“She’s good at her job, I’ll give her that. But come on, Lewis, you can’t deny people have wondered if her connection to you played a part in her being hired. It’s not like I said anything everyone wasn’t already thinking.”

Lewis took a step forward, his fists clenching at his sides.

“The only reason anyone would think that is because people like you spread that garbage around."

"Y/n earned her place on this team through her hard work and talent, not because of me."

We didn't even know each other when she joined. And even if, she didn’t have to prove anything to anyone, the way you’ve treated her is disgusting.”

Toto’s expression darkened further.

“Alan, you’ve been with Mercedes long enough to know we value respect and inclusivity above all else. What you’ve done isn’t just a breach of trust, it’s a breach of the very foundation of this team. Your actions have consequences. You’re fired, effective immediately.”

Alan stood abruptly, his face red with anger.

“You’re seriously going to throw away years of experience over a few jokes?”

“Yes,” Toto said bluntly.

“And I suggest you leave now before you embarrass yourself further.”

Alan glared at both of them before storming out, muttering under his breath.

Finally, it was Greg’s turn.

Unlike the others, Greg walked in looking visibly nervous.

He barely met Toto’s eyes as he sat down, fidgeting with his hands.

“Greg,” Toto began, his voice steady but firm.

“You know why you’re here.”

Greg nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah… yeah, I figured.”

“Then you know the kind of behavior we’re addressing,” Toto continued.

“You’ve contributed to a toxic work environment for Y/L/N and others. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Greg hesitated, glancing at Lewis, who was staring at him with barely concealed anger.

“I—I don’t have an excuse. I guess… I thought it was harmless, but it clearly wasn’t. I crossed a line, and I’m sorry.”

Toto’s brow furrowed.

“You thought it was harmless? You’ve made Y/n feel unwelcome and disrespected in her own workplace. That’s not harmless, it’s damaging. Apologizing now doesn’t erase what you’ve done.”

“I know,” Greg said quickly, his voice trembling.

“I know I messed up, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

“It’s too late for that,” Lewis interjected, his voice low but full of authority.

“You had years to change your behavior, and you didn’t. You don’t get to stay on this team after what you’ve done.”

Toto nodded in agreement.

“Greg, I appreciate that you’re taking responsibility, but the damage has been done. You’re no longer part of this team. Security will escort you out shortly.”

Greg’s shoulders sagged, and he nodded, standing to leave.

“My deepest apologies,” he said quietly before walking out.

By the end of the day, the three men were gone, and the Mercedes team felt lighter.

Word of the firings spread quickly, and several team members quietly expressed their relief and support for you.

Back in the garage, Lewis pulled me into a quiet corner.

“It’s done,” he said softly, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

I nodded, a weight lifting off my chest.

“Thank you, Lew. For standing by me.”

“Always sweetheart,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“No one messes with my girl.”

To all the women facing sexism at work, school, home or online: You are strong, capable, and deserving of respect. Don’t let anyone diminish your worth. Your voice matters, and you are making a difference just by being you. Keep pushing forward.

The end

[holmoris]

Facebook and Discord happened. Assume you want live chat and the ability for non-admin users to post images. Pre-discord this probably meant phpbb or some other forum package paired with grabbing an IRC channel on some big network like freenode or dalnet (or being fully insane and setting up your own actual server, which was way harder than you'd expect since most hosts had specific TOS bans against running IRC relays). The forum itself wasn't trivial to install because you'd be doing all the setup by hand via the linux CLI, which meant at the very least having a passing familiarity with unix permissions, mysql, php and whichever webserver you were hosting the thing on. You didn't get to 'node start' or 'docker compose up' since there were no conveniences. Instead you get to write a bunch of cronlines and possibly a watchdog task to keep everything starting and stopping on the proper schedule. Old man yells at cloud, etc etc.

So anyway most people would wind up hitting the wall and not wanting to deal with this so tons of people wound up on huge communities like somethingawful/newgrounds/airfreaks/gamefaqs/bodybuilding.com, often forming little cliques and completely ignoring whatever the site's actual topic was supposed to be (eg: bodybuilding.com being widely known for the massive 'horrible things you've seen working retail' thread and the time when two dumb users fought for literal months over the number of days in a week).

Enter Facebook. Here's a site where you get the essential features of a blogging platform and instant messenger grafted onto clones of almost every popular forum addon feature (games, groups, situational exposure, blocklists, etc). Cue a ton of young people just going there and it becoming super huge because it covers a lot of the standard forum use cases. Skip forward a few years and here comes Discord, which removed the barrier to entry for IRC and also let you inline media without worrying about hosting it. When they rolled out their bot API it became even easier to bring in features that previously you'd need to hack on phpbb, script mIRC or write an actual bot to do. Many people joined and got the IRC experience for the first time, and IRC dried up relative to how it was before because interacting with a discord bot is a lot easier than learning how to send a DCC request. With FB and Discord, 90% of the classical forum/irc experience is covered, so there's no real reason for anyone to bother self-hosting if they don't have an explicit reason to and are willing to play by their rules. This leads to the one thing I object to:

> There are no 'Makeout' points. No keggers in the woods. No local pirate BBS. No PHPBB with only an ip address that keeps changing.

There are. They're torrent tracker forums.

The communities are out there, but they're walled gardens and the barrier for entry is being able to find them and figure out how to get into them. Some of them are incredible pockets of old Internet that haven't changed notably since the 00s. Much like the ancient BBS days discussion is all over the place and there's an actual sense of community. One particularly good one I'm aware of changes urls every year. Most of them are very private, but at least two of the really good ones I'm aware of are open for registration at least yearly.

Seek and you'll find. Getting in is another story.

40 is kind of old to be on Tumblr still no?

No. I’ve been on here since it first started homeboy. Probably when you weren’t even thought of. Little too young and immature to be on tumblr no?

[heeheesang]

── .✦ what if we never dated..? — i should've been with you.

really really long written chapter , short smau below ! warnings : angst !! i cried writing this.

AFTER THE FIGHT WE HAD , WE NEVER HAD THE GUTS TO EVER FACE EACH OTHER . EVERYTIME WE MADE EYE CONTACT , WE WOULD IGNORE EACH OTHER AND FACE AWAY .

if only i had the guts to apologise for shouting at you... if only chaer didn't get in the way of everything. but thanks to taesan, we did manage to talk it out, even tho it was super awkward. i did feel like jumping into your arms but, i stopped myself.

it's been a week since the trip and we hadn't contacted at all... yunah and eunseok were happily together, same with shotaro and moka.

"since when were you and gunwook close again..?" you pulled me by my arm as i looked behind. the urge i had to hug you tightly and wish it was all dream...

"he... apologised to me. and now we're talking as friends." i smiled awkwardly as he flashed gunwook one kind of a look. we were about to leave when he pulled my arm again.

"wait, yn... i have to tell you something." i crossed my arms, "what is it, leehan?"

"i'm moving to america." if only you knew how much you made me cry at home with that sentence alone. but the only thing i could do at the point was smile and wish you all the best.

i could barely sleep for nights, eventually had to call taesan and anton over with the girls for a sleepover. gunwook joined too, and that's when i realised why we weren't made for each other.

GUNWOOK : yeah lol she thinks i still like her, do i get my $1000 now?

CHAER : ugh just keep her distracted. leehan and i got his parents approval for an arranged marriage.

GUNWOOK : you better do this quick, it's bad enough i'm hurting her but she can't make a man happy at all.

i broke down into tears, screenshotting the chat and sending it to myself before waking gunwook up. oh, if only you could hear how upset i was.

i can't blame gunwook and i can't blame you neither can i blame chaer... it's all my fault in the end.

once it was morning, gunwook ran out of the house before any of the girls or guys woke up. i spent the whole day crying, arranged marriage? so he's... really taken now.

YN : sent a screenshot

LEEHAN : ☺️ now you know pretty.

LEEHAN : i'm sorry it had to be this way... i just never liked you at all yn, i was always waiting for chaer get out of a relationship and you just so reminded me of her lol

YN : huh... so you never liked me..?

LEEHAN : read up hm? you have a pretty smart brain, put two and two together :)

YN : fuck you kim donghyun.

you blocked this contact.

oh. that felt like a hard pang in the heart... i couldn't tell any of them about this, all of them were close to leehan. they even wished for him to come back as soon as possible... i would just be ruining my own friendship.

"you look disturbed these days. what's up, angel?" taesan asked as he leaned against my locker, eyes glued to his screen as his fingers moved rapidly.

"i'm just... tired really..! rumors here and there... head girl council things." i lied, well kinda.

"i'm not dumb, angel. i can see right through you. what's wrong?" taesan asked again as he turned off his phone and placed it in his pocket.

"i forgot that you're literal leehan 2.0. i'll be fine, don't worry. let's go to class?" i joked as he nodded, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walked to class.

oh yeah, taesan was always there for me. i always felt bad for him because i didn't even realise how much he liked me until the argument between leehan and i happened.

i had to find it out through yunah as well... she was taesan's wingwoman. i was always thankful for taesan but now that i knew his intentions behind his acts of kindness, i adored him.

he never gave up even tho i longed for leehan. that enough showed me how much he really likes me. he always helped me in classes, he talks with me about our problems.

"so what i'm hearing is.. leehan was playing with you?" taesan asked as i nodded slowly, tears running down my cheeks as he gave me tissues and tissues.

"what a bitch..." taesan cursed as a joke and i giggled, hitting his shoulder lightly.

"and gunwook.. was in it with chaer too. but i realised they didn't even have to plan anything because... leehan was already in love with chaer." i continued and eventually cried out loud.

taesan panicked and immediately rushed to my side on the bed, hugging my tightly as i cried on his leather jacket.

"that's what's been bothering me lately... i'm so... scared of love now." i hugged him tightly as he rubbed my back, "hey hey..." he said as he pulled away from the hug, holding me by my shoulders.

"that's part of love life, angel. you meet people who play with your feelings, people who love you as much as you love them, and just pure assholes. there are much more important things in life hm, angel? like that graduation and prom ceremony. i'll help you plan it out." taesan comforted as he wiped my tears away only for me to cry even more.

"now i've ruined your leather jacket...!" i cried out as he chuckled, "it's okay, it's okay..."

with the few days, taesan helped me cope very well surprisingly. he gave me new hobbies to try out, he brought me out on little dates, he even introduced me to his other friends and family members.

but despite all that, my schedule was still very packed with plannings. soon, prom was coming up and i had moka to run the confessions corner account once again.

"hey, angel. dinner at my mom's today?" taesan asked as i pouted, "i'm afraid not sanie... i have to complete my—"

"—your layout for prom? finished. your seating layouts? done. so! can we?" he asked with a tiny pout and a glint of happiness in his eyes.

i pinched his cheeks before giggling, "of course you big baby."

everytime we had dinner at taesan's, his parents would pamper. his father always went on work trips outside of korea and would always bring me souvenirs, big or small, it didn't matter to him.

his mother would always cook my favourite meals and make sure i eat alot. his siblings would always compliment me and make me play games with them on their playstation.

"ah eomma! you've embarrassed me enough..." taesan whined and covered his face as his parents chuckled, "your girlfriend— future girlfriend deserves to know all this!"

without a doubt, it was always fun at taesan's. his family members love me, and my family members love him. they treat him as their own child, always talking about marriage when he was over.

"thanks for tonight, sanie."

"no problem, angel. see you at prom tomorrow, i'll pick you up at six hm?" i nodded as he placed a short kiss on my forehead, making sure i got in the house before driving off.

prom! the one night where everyone could enjoy having their final days in highschool. i sighed as i opened my closet, looking through it to find my prom dress i had prepared.

that's until i found a mini box at the side of my closet, TO JUNG YN, FROM KIM LEEHAN. huh? when did this get here?

i took the box and sat down on my bed, opening it to find a corsage. a pink colour corsage.

TO JUNG YN ,

you probably would've expected the outcome of us... so i won't be there for prom but i want you to have the best night ever. i know taesan likes you... and he deserves you.

i wish you and taesan all the best. i'll forever love you jung yn. a pink corsage, a matching one with taesan.

thank you for your time the whole 3 years jung yn. :) goodbye forever.

i tried my best not to break down in tears, because i will not be redoing my makeup ever again. soon i received a text from taesan if i received a corsage from leehan and i replied him quickly because his next message was 'i'll be there in thirty'.

this is for you leehan taesan, i pick you. while changing i realised that you've never reminded me of leehan, you were yourself and that's what i love.

thank you taesan, for showing me what perseverance is.

"are you enjoying the party, girl??" yunah asked as moka danced alongside me. i pressed my lips into a thin line, shrugging as i gulped down another cup of fruit punch.

taesan and i arrived together but he was currently with his friends dancing in the middle. taesan and his friends have always been the popular group in school. they were all flirters especially jaehyun. he tried asking me for my number once with his so called, 'rizz' but thank god taesan stepped in.

taesan was never a flirter. he was more determined to get the girl he likes and never let her get out of sight.

"you're daydreaming again... please don't say it's about leehan..." moka whined as they took a seat beside me, leaving me in between them both.

"leehan isn't here anymore... yn. you know that." yunah reminded me as i nodded slowly.

"no, oh my god no! i was just thinking about taesan... like he's determined to get me... and i adore that." i explained as they 'ooh' at my response.

"can we get miss jung yn, head girl of 2024, on stage. calling for jung yn." the principal voiced out on stage as everyone turned to look for me, "i better get on stage first. first row, girls?" we giggled as they followed me and sat down first row with taesan and his friends.

i tapped on the mic, "hello... um wow this is new. a lot of you here..." i nervously spoke as everyone laughed and applauded for me to boost my confidence.

i looked down to my friends all holding a thumbs up sign, then made eye contact with taesan. i smiled as he mouthed, "you can do it, angel."

i let ou a small sigh of relief before continuing, "as head girl of batch 24', i've learnt a thing or two. holding onto the past won't do you any good in the future because you'll dwell on your past mistakes and be afraid to make new choices in life."

"secondly, i learnt that it's better to keep your circle small. the bigger the circle, the bigger problems. that doesn't mean that smaller circles have smaller problems, but it's unlikely to have any fueds or such."

"i would like to thank everyone... for being so supportive of me being head girl. i've enjoyed my time creating activities, spending time with my fellow students and just making the best out of everything."

"i would also like to... um... apologise. if i have ever made you upset, if i have ever made you angry. please forgive me if i have ever done anything to made you hurt." i bowed down to the crowd as they all retaliated, saying i didn't do anything wrong.

i giggled into the microphone, "lastly... the school and i have organised this event so that we could have our last moments together with friends and people we love. so please — take the dance floor, enjoy the buffet, do everything with your friends and loved ones. i think that's all from me... thank you, once again." i bowed to the crowd as everyone dispersed.

walking down from the stage, taesan appeared with a smile and a hand. "good job, angel." i chuckled and took his hand, hugging him as i finally reached the bottom.

as soon as i sat back down, the center floor was suddenly emptied out. taesan’s friends, jaehyun sungho, and riwoo all danced in the centre facing me. my eyes widened as i lifted my eyebrows, turning around to see nobody behind me at all.

“oh my darling..” i heard taesan’s voice as he emerged from the three. he sang the song as if his life depended on it, the closer he came to me, the faster the song ended.

“i love you.” my jaw dropped as he passed my a bouquet of flowers.

“will you be my angel?”

⤶ back | mlist

⟢ accidental confessions (acc) taglist

╰┈➤ @rairaiblog @voikiraz @veerooniicaa @miukidoll

⟢ permanent taglist ( can be requested to be taken off ! )

╰┈➤ @hooneverse @sol3chu @yourssincerely-mimi @reikaxslvr @petralovesbonedo @enhabooks @mwahvvis @jaerisdiction @rairaiblog @jeonginontopforever

hhs' notes ! ── .✦ whaaat a lengthy chapter !! i'm so sorry if this was a terrible chapter (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) i cried a little writing this hehe ( ˶°ㅁ°) !! but it's finally , the end !! how do we feel ? i originally wanted to make it seem like leehan was gone gone , but i just couldn't do it >ᴗ<

anyway my luvies...! i hope you enjoyed this smau and this final chapter huhu (,,>﹏<,,) i hope it's not too confusing !! i loved making this smau , each and every chapter •⩊• and i would like to thank everyone for liking, loving, and supporting this smau !! i love all of you and i'll see you in my next smau !! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

[lowkeyhollland]

bed chem

peter parker x reader you & peter are roommates, but the absolute complete opposite of each other. or are you? chapter one <- chapter 2

It had been a week and a half since your encounter with New York’s friendly neighborhood hero. Spider-Man wasn’t really on your mind as much as classes had started and you already felt like there was so much to start on. You had also convinced yourself it was just a dream and decided not to tell the rest of your friends. 

Knowing you wouldn’t get anything done at home, you ended up at a coffee shop on campus to start on some assignments due this weekend. Though it was never like this before college, the idea of going out on the weekend is what made you stay on top of everything. It might not be the healthiest motivation, but hey, it was something. Music was blaring in your ears as you tuned out the sounds of the rest of the world, allowing the chaos of others around you to create pressure to stay on task, as anyone could see if you were off track. 

There was a shadow looming over you that made you pause your music, only to be met face-to-face with your roommate. 

“When did you get here?” It came out more rude than you intended, but you were locked in. 

“I said hi to you like ten minutes ago, got my drink, and came back. If you want to be alone that’s fine! Sorry, I tried to ask but—“Peter rambled on and on but you put a hand up to stop him. 

“No! No, it’s chill,” you reassured him. “Sorry, I get pretty passionate about color-coding my calendar.” Peter softly chuckled at the rainbow of pens scattered around the table as you gestured to your planner. 

“Surprised you’re already working so hard this early into the semester.”

“Appreciate it while it lasts. this is how I am for maybe the first month and then burnout happens before Thanksgiving break and then I lock back in by finals.” Peter couldn’t help himself but laugh again. You smiled, admiring the crinkles by his eyes when he laughed and how his brown eyes lit up— in a friendly manner, admiring him, that is. 

“So, you going home soon?” It was strange to hear Peter ask if you were going home, knowing he was referring to your shared apartment. You loved having him as a roommate, but it was still so fresh & sometimes he still felt like a stranger. 

“Yeah, probably. It’s Friday and knowing my friends, we’re gonna hit up the frats or something.” 

“Seems fun. Wanna walk back together?” You nodded and started to pack up your things before exiting the cafè. 

“You should come out with us one night,” you suggested. The brunette boy shook his head with a smile. 

“I don’t think the frats would like me showing up. Plus I’m not really the ‘going out’ type.” You didn’t respond, instead nodded along. 

Within the first few weeks of living with you, Peter had noticed you’re more of the quiet type. Despite having opposite lifestyles, the two of you were similar in other ways; very reserved when speaking about life or allowing the comfortability of silence to take over. It was never awkward between you two, well maybe the first week, but it was just how he liked it later on— comfortable. Though, that never stops him from questioning what your life was really like. 

-

You knew it was wrong but, hell, it felt so right. Your hands found their way up to the mop of curly blonde hair as you kissed him. The lights were flashing and music was blaring as your bodies moved together in sync, but it didn’t stop you from being in this moment with him. 

“Wanna take this upstairs?” He whispered into your ear sending chills down your spine. You nodded as he took your hand and led you through the crowd up to his room. 

This wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, more like seven months with him, but not truly with him. It was almost like a routine between the two of you on nights like these; you show up at his frat, he saves the best drinks for you and your friends, and you always somehow end up tangled in him. It’s not your proudest moment every time his hands are roaming your body, making it seem like he wants you, but sometimes, it just feels so good. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he groaned as he threw you onto his bed, not taking another minute to reconnect his lips with yours. All you did was hum in agreement. “Look so good in that skirt,” he mumbled against your collarbone. Just as his hand was inching up your inner thigh, a phone started ringing. 

“Shit— Nate, I’m so sorry. Just give me one sec,” you pulled away from him and he rolled onto the bed and laid down next to you as you answered the call. He left wet kisses on your inner thigh and you played with his hair while talking to your friend. After the call, you threw your phone onto the bed and laid back, allowing the pillows to engulf you. 

“Everything alright?” He asked, his voice tender. 

“I gotta go— Madi’s fucked up.” Nate pouted and tried to kiss you to stay, but you shook your head and pushed him away. “I’m so drunk that if you do that I might actually stay.”

“Maybe that’s the plan,” he nuzzled his head into your neck & wrapped his arms around your waist. It was moments like this that made you want to stay around, that made every memory between the two of you worth it despite the loneliness you felt around him. “Hey, take one more shot with me? Before you go?” He took out a bottle of soju. you playfully rolled your eyes before taking the bottle from him. 

“You know I can’t say no to this shit,” you giggled as you took a swig from it. 

“We still on for Monday?” Nate asked. butterflies erupted in your stomach as they always do when you get to see him outside of a party setting. 

“Yeah! Wait, what’s Monday again?” Your words slurred together as you stared into his green eyes. 

“I need help on a paper.” Those butterflies died in your stomach.

“Right… yeah. Just text me,” You gathered your things and tied your converse. He slipped off the bed and grabbed your face, kissing you one last time. 

“I’ll see ya.” That was all Nate said. 

Those three words haunted you on the way back to everyone’s apartments. There was no sympathy for your friends or concern if you would get home safe. You felt that last shot of soju really hit as you stumbled into your apartment. Mumbling a few curse words, you hoped & prayed you didn’t wake up Peter. 

Not having the energy, you kicked off your sneakers and fell onto your bed, telling yourself you’ll get ready to sleep soon. The world was still spinning even when you closed your eyes to let the darkness take over. You started to think about everything between you and Nate, if there would ever be you and him. 

Tap, tap, tap

Your eyebrows furrowed together, but you brushed off the sound, assuming it was just your drunken state of mind. The tapping got louder and it was starting to give you a headache. Giving in to the noises, you slowly got up and turned towards the window.

“Spider-man?!” You almost yelled in shock.

“Hey…”

chapter one <-

[studiogrimm810]

Speak of the Devil >Edging Sleep // part 3

pairings: (established) sam winchester x gn!you, dean is also there

summary: you are taken by lucifer for over a week and sam damn near looses his head. when you are finally rescued, the trauma of what was inflicted on you has left it's mark and it's up to sam and dean to keep you put together this part showcases you trying to sleep and your mind becoming overrun with a pestering hallucination of lucifer that sam tries to talk you down from

warnings: torture, ptsd, flashbacks, hallucinations, graphic depictions of said torture

word count: 4,064

A/N: this work is now on AO3! i'm unsure of how many parts i'll be doing, but figured it should go there too just to be safe and have it more complied ^.^

read other parts here

———————

Sam’s arm is wrapped around your torso, holding you firmly to his chest. He stays quiet but fully awake as he wants to keep an eye on you as you try to sleep.

However, every time you start to relax and fall asleep, Lucifer’s piercing red eyes burn your eyelids like lasers and alert you awake. Sam feels the flinch that ripples your body whenever this happens but he tries to keep his hold sturdy and consistent.

He places a soft kiss to the back of your head and whispers sweet nothings every now and again because despite the current state of your mental health, he’s just beyond relieved that you’re back here in his arms and safe.

Honestly, so are you.

Despite a deep claw of paranoia screaming at you that this could all be a dream, you know that deep down Sam is the most real thing you’ve experienced in weeks.

Well, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch because the torture you suffered was real. Each gash, burn, stab, singe, or sting of a weapon in Lucifer’s arsenal embedded itself into your skin and left its mark- scar or no scar… right?

That really does beg the question- was it real?

Even if your skin is now not marred and free of remnants of the past inflicted pain, you still felt everything. You still saw everything. Lucifer kept you physically unconscious as he tortured you in the consciousness of your own skull, laying you out on some made up table and securing you with made up chains and using made up weapons- but it was a real table, and real chains, and real weapons. Just fake- but real.

God, it was starting to piss you off how you ran in circles. You just wanted to know if it was real- because it felt real. There are actual memories of each and everything he did to you burned into your brain- the very brain he cooked it up in the first place- and that had to make it real, right?

But then, where is the line of reality? Sam was tortured in Hell, not his physical body, but his soul and it was still real.

But now if you fall asleep and wake up in a dream of Lucifer carving you up like it’s Halloween, is that real? Or is that just a left over figment?

If you didn’t feel crazy before, this unhelpful trainwreck of thought will surely do the trick.

You’re unsure of how much time passes again before you finally start to doze off but the feeling drifts you lightly into a bliss of sleep. With your body warm and protected, sleep swallows you easily.

But it barfs you right back up when a playful whisper makes you suck in a sharp breath as you jolt awake.

Your heart races as you frantically look around the room for the source of the hiss but can’t find anything.

Sam sits up, as he shakes off his sleepiness to assess the situation- you hyperventilating and completely awake as you search the room frantically.

And that’s when you see him.

The Devil himself leaning against Sam’s desk with his hands clasped in front of him, he shrugs with a cheeky smile as your eyes land on him.

“It’s me!” He beamed, clasping his hands back in front of him as he stands fully and stalks close to the bed, causing you to scoot back into the bed frame.

“Hey- what’s happening, what’re you seeing?” You can hear Sam’s voice, but you don’t process it.

“He asked you a question, doll face, ya’ better answer him- be rude not to,” Lucifer scrunched his face dramatically, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Honey? Can you hear me?” Sam asks with more urgency, pulling off the blankets and grabbing your wrists lightly. You startle at the touch but don’t flinch away- it’s enough to get you to look at him.

“H-he’s here,” you whisper, frozen in fear. This was so odd for Sam, he was used to seeing you as a strong, capable hunter but of course he knew first hand how Lucifer changed a person.

“Okay- okay,” Sam swallows, looking around the room for a moment.

“Hi there, pretty boy, it’s been a while,” Lucifer winks in Sam’s direction but of course only you see it.

“You’re okay, you're here and you’re safe. He’s not real, sweetheart,” Sam pushes some hair out of your face, trying to get you to focus on just him but your eyes keep darting back and forth between him and Lucifer.

“Hey- that hurts my feelings,” Lucifer feigns offense and clutches his non-existent pearls, “tell Sam that hurts my feelings,” he flicks his finger up, pointing at Sam like this was casual.

Your back stays glued to the headboard as you just watch Lucifer in front of you. You take in the details of him to look for anything to prove that he’s just a figment- wrinkles, stubble, torn clothes. It really looks just like him. But was it the him that tortured you or the him you’ve yet to see in person- but that’s when you remember.

Okay, to really lay it out, before your abduction, you had never seen The Devil in the flesh- well, not his, but someones. Regardless, you had only heard stories from the brothers, you had never come face-to-face. At least not until that Wednesday night outside of some bar a few hours out from the bunker. Lucifer had appeared out of nowhere and even then, you thought he was just another patron.

The fucker was charming, but even then he made a brick of unease settle in your stomach as he spoke. It seemed like a situation you could handle- potential intoxicated man trying to make a move or bother you in some way- but when his eyes beamed red with a split smile, that is when you knew you were outmatched.

That’s when his face solidified into your skull, his real and in-person face and-

Wait, no.

Not his real face.

Because that’s not really Lucifer but just some poor bastard who said ‘yes’.

No no, Lucifer’s real face was something of an exhibit of him. Something that he spotlighted for you in the confines of your own skull. Your own…

So, let’s get this straight- the in-person Lucifer you saw was the one you see before you, at least they look the same, but so does the all-in-your-head torture Lucifer. But the all-in-your-head torture Lucifer was also the one to show you his real face- like actual his true face. The face of a mangled, neglected, torched angel. Something so horrific but incomprehensible- pure terror.

You’re getting derailed as you try to organize your thoughts and the jumbled confusing mess of what’s classified as real is truly starting to wear you down.

“You’re not telling him,” Lucifer pouts, barring any sort of intimidating scowl or hint of actual anger.

You’re still frozen though, thoughts in disarray, sounds muffled, vision tunneled.

“Look at me!” Sam’s rough voice- a voice that he’s never used with you- rips you out of your shock. It rumbles his chest and reverberates off the walls as it echoes in your ear long after it’s left his lips. “Talk to me, baby, what’s happening?” His voice instantly soothes back down, guilt ringing his glossy eyes but barely showcasing much as he knew he had to yell to snap you out of the invisible hold.

“Now, I’ve been listening,” Lucifer resumes, “and I’ve come to a conclusion that you, doll, don’t know whether this is a crumb of our connection,” his use of ‘our’ makes your throat tickle with a threat of bile, “or a delusion my inflicted presence,” his lips curl into a smile that the Cheshire Cat would be envious of.

“You’re okay, you’re here,” Sam emphasized his words with a gentle squeeze around your wrists. To him, he hoped this could work as a grounding technique for you just as the cut to his hand worked for him during his struggle with hallucinations.

“And I think that’s a very fun starting point for round two,” Lucifer pounds his fists out as if he’s warming up for a boxing match.

“He’s talking,” your lips barely move as your vocal chords decide to work out a word or two. The gentle rumble past your lips is enough for the tension in Sam's chest to lighten just a tad.

“What’s he saying, honey?” He asks, gentling reaching up to tuck a strand of hair out of your face then returning to his hold on you.

“Don’t ignore me, sugar, I’m very entertaining,” Lucifer promises with a wink as he hops onto Sam’s desk and keeps his eyes set on you. His face melts into a cold and unsettling look of waiting- just waiting. No major emotion lighting up any particular corner, just a standby look of indifference.

“A lot,” only your tongue flicks weakly to produce this response.

“Is he angry or just being annoying?” Sam asks simply.

“Hey!” Lucifer scoffs, the nonchalance melting away as he appears offended by Sam’s words.

“Annoying,” you croak softly before you can stop yourself. The Devil ticks his gaze towards you with a ‘oh-no-you-did-not’ look and with a roll of his eyes and exaggerated rock back of his head, he pushes off of the desk and starts pacing.

“Annoying? You both really find my presence annoying?” Lucifer bites at his lip, arms crossed with one wrist brought up so he can nibble at his fingernails as he paces.

A small smile pulls up an edge of Sam’s lips at your response, finding a glimpse of peace in the fact that you seem to have even a sliver of humor still working.

“What happens if I,” Sam asks cautiously as he squeezes your wrists, as if trying to wring out a towel. You make a small sound of protest at the pressure but it doesn’t actually hurt or make you tug away. He waits for any update from you but you don’t even know what he’s waiting for exactly.

“I- I don’t know,” you mumble.

“Tsk, tsk, Sammy, it’s not gonna work like the hand scar,” Lucifer shakes his head. He gasps lightly with fake wide-eyes and a hand going to cover part of his mouth. “Have I just given myself away?” His eyes shimmer with amusement.

“Keeps talkin’ to you,” you whisper. This makes Sam still, turning to glance back at the area surrounding his desk- where your eyes keep darting. The thought of what Lucifer might be saying hacks at the bundle of nerves wound tight in his gut. Sam forces himself to turn back to face you, holding your wrists still securely in his own grasp.

Hand scar, yeah- okay. You remember Sam telling you about that once or twice when you asked about the particularly puffy scar on the inside of his palm. He explained it as the thing that kept him grounded and that the reason it healed so funky was because of how often he dug into it for a solidification of reality.

“Maybe not,” Lucifer shrugs.

Was this the real Lucifer or not?

“Just shut up,” your chest voice startles Sam. His eyes darted up to examine the pestered look on your face. A look that’s quickly wiped off with a jump and strangled whimper erupting from your throat.

Before you, Lucifer scowls with a twisted twitch of his lips and his features morph into an angry picture of mangled skin and dripping blood- you recognize it as your own face.

One form of torture he inflicted on you was by taking pieces of a shattered mirror and decorating your face like candles on a cake. The reflected glares on the glass had caused a migraine to form each time he performed this act.

The repetition was something you felt you could best put into a glitched painting- the image before you being the same image Lucifer had reflected at you during the act and even then the shards in your face reflected off of each other, bouncing between you like a trail of threads. Too many shimmers in too many directions. Too many reflections.

The reflection of you before you.

The miniature reflections- of you- on the blades burrowing into your mimicked face.

Too much.

A strangled cry breaks out of your mouth as your eyes punch shut and you curl your head into your hands. The quickness of your moves causes Sam to let his hold slip off of you like discarded silk sheets.

Lucifer is cackling, a loud, mocking sound that hammers in just how little you feel right now. The sound sends shivers down your spine and you feel a ghost hand walk up your spine ever-so-lightly and it makes your back straighten to try and press into the wall so that reasonably, nothing could touch you, right?

Right?

That’s reasonable.

Sam is beside himself, he doesn’t even know where to begin. He hoped that being the only other person who has dealt with Lucifer’s prolonged torment, he would be able to coach you through this or at least know what to say. But upon being here and in this moment he realizes that there just is nothing to say. There’s absolutely nothing he can do to make right now better for you.

He feels useless.

Your hands clamp the back of your neck, trying to guard the sensitive area with a firm grip.

“Talk to me, baby,” Sam’s voice cracks, his handles idle and- what’s the devil's playground again?

“M-mirrors-,” barely a comprehensible word really, but Sam looks right at the only mirror in the room. He tears through his brain, trying to remember everything that Lucifer did with mirrors. It’s a nauseating shuffle through memories but it’s necessary to you which makes it absolutely vital to him.

There were the ‘self-displays’, as Lucifer would call it, where he would be forced to watch as Lucifer did what he did but through a mirror opposite to his positioning. There was also the extensive periods of time where Lucifer would pry open Sam’s eyes so he was forced to watch only his reflection for days on end- something that really fucked with his head more than he’d like to admit. And then the ‘splicing’, where Lucifer would take shards and line them up along Sam's face to almost entrap him in an eternal peripheral vision that made Sam dizzy just to remember.

He wasn’t sure which, or if any, of these you were talking about, but he hoped that the lack of mirrors and overbearing light were enough to help just a bit. He struggled with saying something before deciding to just get up and act. He flicked off the bathroom light and closed the door before covering the mirror and returning to right in front of you again.

“Okay, honey, I need you to listen to me,” he coos softly, caressing your cheek gently to test where you were at with physical touch. You tensed under his hand but didn’t move away which was enough for him to continue. “I’m real, I’m the man who loves you and who searched for you. You are at the bunker in Kansas. Dean is up the hall and you and I are in our bedroom- our bedroom. We have been in bed for a while but it’s still me who has been holding you, okay? I need you to know that for a fact,” he could see in your eyes that you were at least absorbing the assurance. He reached out to cover the back of your neck as you were- ghosting your hold like a shadow. “You can let go, sweetheart, I’ll cover your neck, okay?” He hopes this helps at least a little, just enough for you to hold your own wrists that he’s concluded is the most comforting thing for you at present.

You hear Sam, you can hear the bouncing echo of his voice around you, the reassurance that you know you believe, you just need to trick your body into believing as well. Pulling your eyes up to look at him, you can feel the swirling pit of dread in your stomach seem to slow a bit from its growing whirlpool that is destined to drown you- pulling you down and trapping you in its aerated water.

Your hands tremble as you unhook them from the back of your neck and you let Sam rest his own palms on the back of your head- strong, sturdy hands that cover double the space you were able to. It’s hard to regulate your breathing at first as your own paranoia is trying to scream at you that this isn’t really Sam, but you know it is because it has to be. If it isn’t then there really isn’t any hope for you.

Even if the Lucifer before you is him actually projecting his presence into your brain again, at least he’s sticking to only him.

“There you go,” Sam nods with a cracked smile as he breathes out a puff of relief. The scent of him- the heat of his breath- dusting over your face is enough to further solidify that it really is him.

Lucifer has morphed back into his vessel's face when you look at him again and he seems to be fuming with annoyance and contemplating his next move which makes you shiver with nausea.

“Can he touch you?” Sam asks and you’re not really sure how to answer. He hasn’t tried to but does that mean that he can’t? Lucifer scoffs to himself at Sam’s question and he seems even more annoyed. That gives you a sliver of hope that maybe he can’t.

“I-I’m not sure,” you croak. Your voice has stopped sounding like your own because nothing really feels like your own right now. Upon learning that you were trapped in your own consciousness while Lucifer inflicted his torture has made you completely loose any sense of bodily autonomy.

You go down to reach for your wrists once you’re completely settled with Sam’s hands palming the back of your neck.

“Now doll, why don’t you tell me your favorite part of your time with me,” Lucifer leans back against the desk as he stares you down, holding up his chin to look down on you as if he’s 10 feet tall. Your throat goes dry as his attention is fully on you again and you feel like an ant under his magnifying glass on a particularly clear day.

Images flash through your brain as you catalog through dozens of sessions with him, it’s against your own will as a few stand out- the mirror incident being the front runner.

“S-Sam, I can’t-,” you choke out through a sob that rattles your throat. You feel utterly sick and completely disoriented as the memories swirl around you and pull you deeper into the whirlpool picking up speed in your stomach.

Sam doesn’t know what to do or what to say. His mouth gapes open with an empty queue of words to speak. He just keeps his hold on the back of your neck as sturdy and still as he can, hoping to act as a shield for at least this part of your body. Even if he can’t coax you out of your own mind at the moment, the least he can do is take one worry off your list.

“You’re okay, baby, you’re safe,” he speaks through a thick fog in his own mouth, stiffening his jaw like it’s encased with molasses.

“Answer me!” Lucifer roars, slamming his fist onto the desk. The burst of anger pulls a helpless whimper from your lips that cracks Sam’s chest. He feels like this is hollowing him out completely- leaving him an unhelpful shed of skin in the wake of your breakdown.

“Make him go away,” your beg warbles through your wracked sobs.

Sam has to think of something to do to help, anything.

That’s when a thought pops into his head- if it’s really Lucifer projecting into your mind, would the sigil work? He has no time to ponder the theory or warn Cas of his plan because he has to act now.

You’re trembling under his hold, tear stained cheeks and raspy voice provoking a deeper sense of urgency within him. He hates to do it, but he has to let go of his hold on your neck to perform the sigil. He mumbles a regrettable ‘sorry’ as he moves his hands back to pull a knife from its sheath that’s secured to his side of the bed. There’s no particular flinch or whine of protest to the now exposed skin of your neck as you're still curled into yourself and holding your own wrists.

Sam slices his palm and starts the sigil on the wall above the bed, right behind you. He moves to unintentionally shield your body as he does so, creating an arch that blocks The Devil from your immediate sight.

“Sammy, you stop that!” Lucifer growls, trying to advance towards him but before he can make the full stroke, he’s shredded away in a blaze of white fire.

The silence leaves a ringing in your ears and you peak out from behind the wall of Sam in front of you.

The room is empty.

Your sobs are halted, the disappearance of Lucifer's nail-on-chalkboard screams seem to shock you out of the panic you were experiencing.

Sam feels frozen after the sigil burns with contact of his palm. He knows that it will still glow due to Castiel's angelic presence that has also been blasted away, but the room suddenly feels lighter- calmer. Has it worked?

He looks down at you under him and his heart is in his throat preventing any puffs of air to pass as he awaits your reaction. He leans back to sit on his heels to get a more forward look at you, holding his hand up to let the excess blood from the cut pool in his palm.

When you finally look him in the eyes, your breathing has returned as it rocks your shoulders and neck with each puff- as if you need to physically move your upper torso to force your lungs to work.

“What- what did you do?” Your words formed around the exhale of your quick breaths instead of your actual vocal chords. The exhaustion of this experience has drained your muscles of any energy.

“Angel sigil,” Sam scoffs a breath of relief followed by his lips flicking in a flash of a quick smile. He felt lightheaded as you turned to look at his blood that now stained the wall behind your shared headboard.

Once getting a good look, your body relaxes as it automatically turns back to face him almost fully again, he could tell you were making sense of what this meant.

“That was really him,” the words leave your lips with a shutter. Sam just nods.

Part of that was terrifying to you because it meant that he was real in your newfound definition of such. It was his actual soul- or whatever it is he has- that was before you just now. He projected himself to you again.

But another part rationalized that maybe this meant the projections/hallucinations would go away when the potion fully cleared your bloodstream.

The possibilities that follow the conclusion just founded only weigh down on your already exhausted shoulders.

“What matters is that he’s gone now,” Sam speaks softly- so warm and kind. “So you should try to rest, you must be spent,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and as much as you are scared to try and sleep again, he’s right.

You just nod softly and let him help you back under the blankets and into a comfortable and safe position in his hold.

That night, nightmares plague your dreams and cause you to wake often. Sam is quick to comfort you and ease you back to sleep, even repeating the sigil when you start to worry about him coming back.

Something that screams at both you and Sam is that just because the presence of Lucifer would most likely be temporary, his stain surely won’t be.

———————

thank you so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest) >>check out my other works here

>tags: @internallysalad

[loeyonline]

Diet Pepsi

Summary: After breaking up with Hendery you meet someone else and they start dating and having a better relationship, but the feelings for Hendery are still there, so one night you decide to run away with him.

Contains: infidelity, sex, bad words, alcohol, drugs, good music

Notes: Honestly, last year I said "Who the fuck is going to listen to that fucking Addison Rae song? Bro, we're talking about a Tiktoker" and here I am writing a fanfic with the theme of Diet Pepsi and being a full fan of Addison Rae, anyway Once again I show you my fantasies with Dery because I love him, he is seriously the man of my life.

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It had been 7 months after breaking up with Hendery, you lied to yourself saying that you had already healed, that you no longer thought about him and that it was time to meet someone else.

You had been Mark's girlfriend for a few weeks, he was too sweet and intelligent, he really liked listening to music and playing video games, he liked it so much that he spent most of his time ignoring you.

His dates were always going to his house to see how dark souls were playing.

You made an effort to pay attention to the game but it was so boring to just sit in front of the computer and spend hours and hours playing.

One time you stood in front of him and took off your clothes to see if he would get hard and you would fuck for a while, and it happened, They fucked well but after 10 minutes of cumming he was already sitting at the fucking computer again.

You loved Mark, but he was so fucking boring that you could swear that in the entire time you've been in a relationship you've only spoken 5 times.

One Friday at 1 in the afternoon as usual, you were sitting on Mark's bed, watching him play, but thinking about Hendery.

Hendery wouldn't treat you like that, he would talk to you and spend time with you.

He would go out with you and fuck well.

He wouldn't be so fucking boring.

"hey mark" you talk to him but apparently he is more attentive to the fucking game than to reality "mark lee" you talk to him louder so that he pays attention and he finally turns to see you.

"What's wrong dear?" He tells you and you can swear it's the first time he's seen your eyes.

"I have to go, I have pending work" you say, getting out of bed and grabbing your things.

"oh it's a shame, I'll miss you" yes of course.

You faked a smile and walked towards him to kiss him and then leave his room.

As you left his house you came up with a slightly screwed up plan.

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Hendery worked as a cashier at a 24-hour convenience store, his shifts were almost always in the morning since at night he liked to go skateboarding, smoke joints and drive around the city listening to some Ramones or Arctic Monkeys songs.

He was simple, he liked to feel the fucking vibe.

It was risky what you were going to do, but hell, mark cares more about his game than his relationship.

You entered the store and luckily for the script, Hendery was still working, when he saw you enter he went blank, because the last time he had seen you had been outside your house crying so that you wouldn't end your relationship.

You wanted to pretend that you didn't care and that you were just coming to buy your stuff and that's it, but you didn't even know what you were going to buy and it was impossible not to see how hot Dery is, even in her pathetic work uniform.

You grabbed anything, a pack of small trash bags to pick up the dog's mess (you don't have a dog) and headed over to him to pay for your bags, those stupid bags.

When they arrive and put everything on the counter the two look into each other's eyes, That sexual tension between the two of you returns and the desire to send everything to hell and start kissing at the counter is present, it's a shame that a lady and the security cameras were there watching them.

"It's 2.50" he says without closing his eyes.

“great” you reply and continue watching him.

"You have to pay" he answers, seeing that you stayed there without doing anything.

"Ah yes, yes yes" you say and give him the money, a little sad because your moment together had ended too soon, you wanted to stay and see him a little longer, and deep down, he also wanted you to stay longer.

"Buying this to pick up your man's shit? Wow, spending so much time on the computer is fucked up," he tells you, trying to start a conversation.

"Oh, what do you know about him? Don't bother him" but deep down you wanted to answer yes, that your boyfriend was a failure.

Hendery was aware of your relationship with Mark Lee, he was fine with that, he knew that he couldn't tell you anything anymore since they were nothing, that it is your life and you could do whatever you wanted.

But seeing you so pale from not going out in the sun bothers him a lot.

"You must be needy" he tells you, looking away "I can ask you out tonight, I leave at 6" and he gives you the bags in your hand with a chocolate that you had not bought but it was the one you liked "courtesy of the house"

"I won't go, I have a boyfriend"

"I know you'll come" he tells you, making his winning smile.

You decided not to answer him anymore and get out of there, although you knew that you would be back there at 6.

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What you were going to do was wrong, very wrong, what about Mark?

You returned to his house and found him as you left him, on the computer.

His appearance was sad, he had dark circles under his eyes and he smelled like Flamin Hot Cheetos.

"hey mark, what if we go out?" Trying to save your relationship with Mark a little, you invite him to go for a walk and maybe have dinner out, the solution was not to go fuck Hendery.

"Thank you girl, but I'm on a call with Jisung right now trying to pass this level and it's very important" he replies and looks at the computer again.

Screw it, it was enough "Fine, I guess I'll go" and I wasn't even listening to you properly.

It was decided, you were going to see hendery tonight, it wasn't bad, mark was with his other girlfriend jisung, you could go with hendery.

When you returned home, you got ready a little for your meeting with Hendery, you knew it wasn't going to be a quiet outing with friends.

Then it was almost 6 and you left to go to the convenience store again.

When you arrived he was there, behind the counter talking to his co-worker, he saw you and smiled victoriously, he was right. "Hey, I'll take some condoms and some drinks, deduct them from my salary please," he says to his partner and then turns to look at you, it was fucking embarrassing.

You waited for him outside the store and when he finally came out the first thing he did was jump on you to kiss you, grabbing your waist and putting his tongue in your mouth.

"Hey wait, what if they see us? People know I have a boyfriend."

"And what do I care?" he laughs and takes your arm to go to his car.

He opened the passenger door for you and you sat down, a little excited about what happened earlier, when he got into the car you noticed he was happier than normal.

"I'm glad your boyfriend gave you permission to go out with me," he answers, starting the car.

"That idiot, no tone that I had left"

"Hey don't worry, I'm going to give you all the attention that he hasn't given you"

It was so hot to talk, so satisfying.

"Where will we go?" you ask him a little nervously.

"To a motel," he replies, "of course, if we arrive and don't end up parked on the street fucking."

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The road was difficult, he didn't stop grabbing your legs, you just laughed and stole kisses from time to time.

When they arrived at the motel room the situation was even more heated.

Ok, mark was good at fucking, he was a gamer, he knew how to use his fingers well, but hendery was on another level.

He might have a doctorate in oral sex, he knew how to move his tongue well while he put his fingers in you.

"fuck dery"

"Baby, don't call me that, I'm going to break you" he tells you, super excited and with his face between your legs.

“deryyyyy” you reply knowing he will get harder.

"Fuck it"

He got up and was still between your legs, pulling down his pants, looking straight at his big erection.

"Your turn darling"

Licking his cock is so great, feeling his hands on your head, pushing more into your mouth, listening to his moans and praise.

"baby, you're everything that's right in this world" he said with his head thrown back in satisfaction "What were you doing with mark lee? Wasn't there someone better than me?" His jealousy was so hot, he looked so good being so conceited.

You took his cock out of your mouth and looked at him smiling "None of them are like your hendery."

It's wrong to be cheating on Mark Lee, it's wrong to be fucking your ex, it's really wrong to boost his ego, but fuck it, people do worse things and Hendery was so good.

His smug smile was worth a million dollars, he is the million dollar man.

After licking his cock well, I take you off of her so she can put on her condom and lubricate herself well before entering.

Feeling him inside again made you remember the first time you fucked, at your parents' house.

Him covering your mouth so you wouldn't scream, fucking you hard so you would feel all the love he has for you.

He, on the other hand, was grateful to have you again, to see you riding his cock again.

None of the girls he had been with were as good as you.

After riding him for a few minutes, you got off and now fucked him doggy style.

As you clung to the covers of that dirty place and he grabbed your hips tightly (slapping your butt from time to time) you notice how your phone starts to ring.

Without stopping fucking, you grab him and see how the screen shows that Mark was calling you.

Hendery notices it from his position and his reaction was to laugh "Answer him, poor guy must be worried about you."

Hendery didn't stop moving, he kept putting it deeper and deeper.

"Okay, but please control yourself," you tell him and he listens to you for a few minutes.

So you answer the call “Hello?

"Princess, hey, sorry, I didn't want to ignore you, I'm an idiot," he looked really embarrassed.

"Hey no, it's okay, don't apologize, I'm fine" Hendery tried to hold back his laughter since he knew the situation. "Yes, nice Mark, she's great," he murmurs and moves again.

Nervousness invaded you, you were about to moan, you tried to control yourself a little so as not to be discovered.

"I promise to go out with you tomorrow, we can go to the lake for ice cream or have a picnic in the park, I'll stop being so closed off, I promise"

"Sounds good, honey," you spoke brokenly, trying not to moan or breathe strangely.

"Honey, are you okay? You sound agitated."

"I'm not very well, I just ran and that's why I'm agitated"

"oh okay, well tomorrow at 12pm princess"

"It's okay honey, byyyyyyye" and you hung up suddenly.

"Wow, were you running? Did you become an athlete?" Hendery moved faster again.

"Shut up you fool"

"Mark Lee is so sweet, a picnic in the park" from afar his jealousy could be seen "at 12 pm in the park and at 12am in my bed, do you think?"

The thrusts were getting stronger and you only thought about not coming but it was getting difficult, especially if he talked so dirty.

"This whole situation reminded me of the first time at your house" he spoke slowly and with a serious tone "You telling your father that you screamed because you had a nightmare, but it was me inside you"

"Dery, I'm going to come," you say on the verge of collapse, trying to maintain your posture.

"hmmmm" and he stops moving, he pulls out of you and tries to turn you around, now both of you facing each other, him on top of you "I want to see you like this"

Taking advantage of the position, now he could kiss you better, suck and lick your neck, bite your lips and kiss your entire face.

"You can say I'm the best again" he says whispering in your ear.

You grabbed his back tightly, hurting him a little but apparently he didn't care.

"Please, one more time," he raised his voice and every time he sounded desperate, "make me feel yours once more."

He had left his personality as a cold and lonely man who only wants sex and getting high with a good Julian Casablancas song in the background to now be a boy desperate for his girl, because he needs his girl's caresses.

"Hendery I love you, you are the man of my life, you are better than everyone"

That was it, it was enough to make the boy come.

His reaction also made you come squeezing his cock that was still inside.

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They spent the entire night in their car parked at the city's viewpoint.

why'd you only call me when you're high?, sunday, cherry pie, sweet chlid on mine, rock with you, reptilia, in bloom and other songs were the soundtrack of their night.

It was what you needed, to go out, to feel alive, to see the lights of the buildings, to feel the cold of the night, stick your bare feet out the car window, be kissed by hendery.

"I want us to get back together" he breaks the silence and takes your hand to kiss it and then intertwine his fingers with his "I want you to tell that idiot that tomorrow no feeding the shitty ducks or any stupid picnic."

"But dery darling…"

"You're not happy, the truth is, today when you entered the store you looked sad, unmotivated, bored, now look at yourself, you look prettier being my wife"

And he was right, you hadn't felt this good in a long time.

"But what about Mark?"

"He's an idiot, he didn't know how to appreciate the great woman he had in front of him, now fuck him, You were always mine."

He got up as best he could from the driver's seat so he could kiss you and grab your waist again.

"Please let me be yours again, please please"

[kirby-the-gorb]

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[alfhildr-the-word-weaver]

I got thinking too much about Marwa from What We Do in the Shadows again and how she was canonically making observations of Jupiter and Saturn in the 1200s. Then I thought about how Elena took Damon to go watch a meteor shower, and I decided that Marwa and Elena should get away from all the vampire drama B.S. in their lives and go nerd out about astronomy together, and this moodboard sort of happened. I also thought about how Elena becomes a doctor and went ah, they are both women in STEM! So I ran with that as a theme too.

But yeah, Marwa needs a friend who will actually support her interests and engage with her intellectually (no shade to Nadja and the Guide, I'm glad they had a fun weekend watching Mamma Mia together which was literally the only time we got to actually see Marwa happy onscreen, but they have never demonstrated much interest in science that I can recall and I want Marwa to have an astronomy buddy), and I think Elena would be fascinated by her and her perspectives on astronomy from centuries ago, and they could learn about modern astronomical advances together. If I find the time and energy I might even write fic about it, but for now, here is a moodboard so that we can all bask in the vibes of my beautiful crossover vision together.

Image sources: x x x / x (the first frame of x gif + a screenshot from x) x / x + x x x

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[pallases]

okay guys i have calculated it all out and even if i get a big fat zero on this race i will still earn a b in the class assuming i get 100% on the other remaining three assignments two of which are a given for 100% and the last of which is like. even if we get a 75% on it (which i do not really see happening) i can still scrape by w a b-

[justmossyaps]

i don’t want to jinx it but i think the flareup might actually be over :D

[insanechayne]

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