#it is meaningful in new ways
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i gotta say ive been digging through your blog and you have truly phenomenal takes but i must know
what are your thoughts on saul and david? ive been doing research for a paper on them on and off for a while and am currently working my way through miscall's analysis of 1 samuel and id love to get the opinion of someone not writing in the early 80s
love ur stuff man keep it up!!!!
god's first and second king. the king who needed god's love most, and the king who did not. the king who deserved it, the king who did not.
saul is un-done from the moment of his anointing. god starts mourning him early: with the call of samuel, the grieving begins. saul loses samuel. saul loses samuel again. saul loses samuel again. the music can no longer console saul. he's lost god and, unbelievably, he's lost samuel again--for a final time, now. when saul kills himself, it is the singular most troubling death god undergoes in the hebrew bible.
enter david, beloved in ways only god can articulate. david whose gaze is not voyeuristic but entirely violent. david who swallows whole bath water, dizzying himself on desire. david who loves jonathan just enough to lose him. david who can do no wrong. beautiful, calculating. filling a hole god never anticipated having. a dead king filling the hole of a dead king for a god who will never recover from the monarchy until he auto-incarnates and, finally, feels the penetrating death on his own body. god will spend centuries dying to feel what saul felt. david is the first attempt on god's part to do this. but he is not the last
#ask#ty for the kind words: i hope your paper does saul justice#i also love asks from people who have a clear love for a particular biblical narrative#it is meaningful in new ways#i love saul
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i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes i’ve seen john epler’s explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could ‘really do something with.’#and i understand what he’s saying and i’m curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but i’m still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldn’t be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also don’t really appreciate dev comments like ‘careful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee 🤭🤭’ like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghain’s inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ‘typical’ nonsense for this fandom it’s people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ‘damn it’s fucking upsetting that this excited replay i’ve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending i’ve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.’#might as well tell someone to watch a let’s play of trespasser and that’s it.#11/26 in a hater mood so i’m turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
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you're so like. inspiring. or i wish i could be inspired. you reblog that post with the blue critter and you're like "im glad i was born on this planet". how do i manage to get that mindset. how do i manage to not want the pain to stop at any cost and enjoy what's still possible to enjoy
It's my first time here and I'm never coming back
#I wanted to write something long and poetic and meaningful#About how I used to be suicidal#And sometimes still get that way#But still find wonder and joy in things#And have just learned to hold on tighter#But like#It's so much simpler than that#I don't believe in reincarnation#Or an afterlife#But I see things every day that are amazing#Things people can do with their hands#Animals I never could have imagined#New food and skills and art and music#And I just remember#Oh yeah#I'm new here#I've never done this before#The universe is infinite and I'm just a speck#And I'm never gonna be able to see it all even if I tried to#And when I'm dead it'll be too late#It's like having ten minutes in a museum before it gets demolished forever with everything in it#I've never been alive before but now I am and it'll be over soon#I'm never coming back#I'm just a tiny piece that gets to think and feel for a while before it's over#It's my very first time living and I'm never coming back#I'm gonna stop existing soon#I'm not gonna have feelings anymore#So what do I wanna do#What do I wanna see before the lights go out
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actually i'm anti aesthetic. actually i don't believe in living my life according to the mandate of the same 500 pinterest images. actually i think my life has some meaning, some shades of color to it, outside of a set of rules and stereotypes that are presented to me in a tidy little package. actually, maybe i'm the ugly color gradient and that means there is nuance to the way i live. actually, i don't want to JUST be a witch, or a clean girl, or a mythic bitch, or the feminine mystique, or a coastal grandmother, or a cottagecore lover of women, or punk, or rock, or death metal, or goth. actually being a girl hasn't been anything like what's been shown to me -- and so i will be a girl on my own terms. actually i think being a girl has been nothing like the movies or the moodboards. actually FUCK your moodboards and your makeup too. actually i'm nothingandeverythingcore. actually im alive im alive im alive and that requires no aestheticization. it requires no sanitization of existence. actually life is most beautiful when it is diverse. actually i will try everything and know everything and nothing will stop me; my life will be varied and beautiful and messy and chaotic and occasionally organized and exactly the way it ought to be, you FUCKERS.
#personally? i think living life strictly and entirely according to an aesthetic is STUPID and DUMB#why would you limit your life like that?? why would you only dress and eat and wear makeup and read a certain way?? why?#why would you deprive yourself of the beauty of LIVING??#i will take the meaningful parts of everything#and live my life by the values that resonate with me!#life is nothing if you can't try something new!#anti aesthetic#cottagecore#punk#goth#rock#clean girl#witchcore#coastal grandmother#messy girl#aesthetic#girlhood
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Since I'm digging myself a hole tonight, I kind of actively hate the "But I am ready for something, and I think maybe that something could be with you."
Like, my first instinct was that it was sweet and that Buck was taking back a little bit of agency there and asking for what he wanted.
But I don't know. In so many ways, it also actually feels like it feeds into a very unhealthy pattern for Buck.
I mean, I might just be projecting because I cannot imagine ever being so infatuated with someone that I'd be like "I want to try a relationship with you" after only knowing them for 30 seconds and being left on the curb after a failed first date, but I digress.
But just. I don't know. This feels like such a pattern for Buck. Have someone express interest, only to then be rejected (Abby, Taylor, Natalia, now Tommy) and then chase them that much harder.
Like, Buck. Darling. PLEASE. Your value is not defined by the people for whom you have to prove your worth.
And I don't even mean this as anything directly against these partners. But Buck gets so caught up in forcing a relationship that he speedruns things without actually giving anyone (including himself) any space to grow into it, and it just feels kind of devastating that that's still where he is with himself.
#this man has not worked through a single issue in his life#like baby please go back to therapy#what does it say about him that his healthiest relationship seems to have been with ali who was the most forgettable of all love interests?#also i know i'm not saying anything new here#but it just. makes me sad.#that he can't see that he needs to give himself space and grow into something meaningful#like. i don't know. i guess people do this#but as someone whose only meaningful relationship took something like a year to grow into#i just cannot imagine wanting something like a romantic connection with someone i'd barely just met#so buck's insistence on going the distance IMMEDIATELY with any potential romantic partner even after (sometimes multiple) rejection(s)#is. a lot.#but again i know i'm projecting#i just. don't get it.#and i feel for him because it's so clear how much he wants something meaningful but he just will not give himself the space to grow into it#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#just in case#this isn't actually meant to be anti but i feel like it would be read that way#911 discourse#random 911 thoughts
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I don't know where I'm from. My earliest memory is arriving. I was so lucky they found me! They took me in, raised me like one of their own, and when I was ready, they made me their princess.
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#super mario bros#princess peach#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#mario movie was like ' let me just drop some wild new lore in here and then not come back to it in any way' lolol#DOES PEACH HAVE PARENTS BACK IN THE REGULAR WORLD THAT MOURN HER TO THIS VERY DAY????#i don't know how feasible this would be but it feels like you could do some research to look up reports of missing children matching her#description over the last couple of decades and see if anything intriguing comes up :O#but i do love how this makes the relationship between peach and the toads so much more emotional and meaningful#they're not just her subjects. they saved her and gave her a loving home!!! they are her family and she would do anything for them!!!#they cared for her and now she cares for them even if it requires self-sacrifice#(another intriguing detail: the castle already exists here. did the toads have another monarch before this???)#(have they just been making unsuspecting humans wandering through the pipe royalty for hundreds of years????? HMM)
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Why do the FEH devs insist on ignoring Nabatean lore so much?
I recently had a surprisingly cordial discussion on redshit with someone about the "nabateans = colonisers" take, and one of the main points raised was that the game was purposedly foggy around Nabateans/Sothis/their story because it would obviously favor a certain narrative (and thus make another narrative look, uh, not that marketable anymore).
To be honest, we still ended up with a product that had a lead go "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and yet that lead is still marketable enough to have raunchy cipher cards and 5 FEH alts, so I actually wonder if, while pissing on that lore had that purpose, it was ultimately pointless since Supreme Leader can still sell goodies despite her incarnation in FE16.
And not only Supreme Leader - but the entirety of WC where we basically have 70% of the cast crying/complaining about their "mixed blood" or lack of and basically adding their 10 cents to the "this race and its blood is the reason why the world sucks".
I mean, can you imagine Sylvain selling any goodies and alts if Flayn replied to his "wah wah people only are kind to me and want to fuck me because I have Nabatean blood :(" by some uncharacteristic "good for you, I have to hide my ears, had to dye my hair, have to lie about my family because if the truth is found out about my identity, I will be hunted and vivisected like an animal and harvested for parts by people who call my kin abominations - just like what happens in the game where the same people who call my kin "abominations" ally with a classmate who calls me a creature and pretends I am incapable of human feelings based on my race".
FE Fodlan's main selling point is its cast of students, for various reasons, but even if I tried to kid myself, Nopes and FEH made it clears : students are the main selling point.
If you spare more time and attention to the Nabatean plot/lore, the students either grow from "likeable" to "despicable" or worse, you won't gaf about them because yeah sure, Hilda might be upset because people expect things from her due to her crust, but it would feel like a "peanut" compared to Seteth's irrational (granted, it's not so irrational since GW exists) fear that Flayn's newest friends would dissect her if they learnt she was a Nabatean, and being conflicted by finally letting her have human friends and form bonds she crave, or protect her due to the trauma from the genocide of their species.
Don't get me wrong, I love peanuts, I mean, not everyone can have a tragik of loaded backstory!
And yet, given how this verse's DNA is "can you fight against the red emperor who uwus about you", they had to add copious amounts of Earl Grey to their games so there's no clear-cut factions :
The "Your alien blood and its influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command" vs "I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"
is turned to :
"Your alien blood Crests and its your church's influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command"
"I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"
Sprinkle with the cast's hammering here and there that the "reforms" might be needed - but never develop on what they are - and add a few baseless and groundless takes as a toping (basically everything Claude says about tolerance and the general "isolationism/foreign policy" stuff) and you get FE Fodlan where the Red Emperor's war isn't seen as the catastrophe it is in the other entries from the series!
Now, for FEH...
FWIW, the F!F!Billy's trailer had them try to explain that Sothis was a bit pissed about her slaughtered/massacred children when Nopes never gave any reason about why she was pissed - maybe on Billy's behalf bcs Jerry's dead, but come on, she would indeed deserve the medal of the worst parent in the franchise if that was the case, since Billy can murder her daughter without Sothis taking over ! - but given that they cannot write/go against the source game those characters are from.
They tried a bit, with B!Supreme Leader and Hegemongard's FB, but then it stopped (because she had no "new unit" released since then lol) and I can understand why : Hegemongard came out before the Supreme Emblem, and Hegemongard hates dragons who are seen/perceived as gods by some of their human followers. Come FE17, and now Supreme Emblem accepts Alear because they are "one of the good ones". We can come up with HCs and details and talk about what are emblems or if Hegemongard's views were only hers at the end of AM all day long... But imo, Doylist wise, it still feels it's a retcon because the devs from the main games tried to scrap and remove the most "controversial" traits she had.
For the other characters... Well, you see what Marianne is in FEH (but even in her base games), she's one of the few characters who reacts - in a way - to the partial history about relics and demonic beasts and all... only to give sad uwus to Maurice.
FE16 (and Nopes) refused to have any "student" character react to the Nabatean lore/reveal, about what are relics and all. There are no lines, Claude shared some knowledge in the explore section of VW's last chapter, but we don't have anyone muse or think or even talk about what are relics, what are crests, and what kind of fuckery their ancestors or the ancient humans of Fodlan did.
With that in mind, FEH can't do much : either they write Marianne in a retcon-y way like what happened for Hegemongard (and they're not afraid to piss on characterisation, look at Lyon!), or they flanderise her "character" and develop her around 3 lines she had in the game in her paralogue, and continue to give sad uwus about Momo when he was at best a guy who slaughtered and murdered so much that he abused the Nabatean turned into a relic to the point where he turned in a demonic beast even if he had a matching crest, or at worst, had been part of Nemesis's piñata party in Zanado and was something of a genocider.
Tldr :
Why FE Fodlan never gaf about Nabateans : earl grey + the marketable cast has to stay marketable and you can't sell peanuts at the same price you'd sell swordfish
Why FEH dgaf about Nabatean lore : they can't afford to retcon characters + they have to sell peanut alts with the same seasoning they had in their base game.
For what it's worth though, I think FEH is more daring than the base game(s) given how they gave more lines and screentime to Rhea - through her different alts - than GW. And they even designed her Halloween!alt's lines to piss on some of Claude's assertions, while the various FB involving members of the church also - indirectly - reply to some accusations thrown their way in FE16 when, FE16, never gave them an opportunity or lines to explain that those takes were full of dung.
*"but random, maybe she doesn't know that the crests she often decries is "dragon blood"!"
It's highly debatable, especially given what she and Hubert throw to Billy in CF - but even if she doesn't, Doylist wise we still have a character who, knowingly or not, says "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and who is never called out on her prejudice. That's more of an issue regarding the general writing though, she has to be a red emperor and took pages from Ashnard's book, and yet, the player must still feel bad and want to romance her, so her mindest/goal cannot be looked at too closely, because, I guess, even the devs thought it would be difficult to romance her (thus sell goodies!) if more light was shed on the "blood from this race corrupts our people" schtick -> which in turn would also make characters whose backstory and gimmick rely on "crying about crests" be way less likeable, thus marketable and able to sell goodies.
#anon#replies#heroes salt#fodlan nonsense#they can't develop stuff about nabateans else the people would wonder if this thing existed in FE16/Nôpes#and we all know people siding with the Agarthans would have like#a harder time justifying being allied to the Agarthans even if they don't know everything that transpired between them and the nabs#and yet Pelleas is accused of being a moron for listening to Izuka when he didn't even knew Izuka was the one who#developed the feral subhuman drug and earnt a PHD so#in the end everything's always about money#I'd buy in a heartbeat any Hilda (fe4) figurine#but i guess thes devs/money makers believe that antagonists at least in this franchise don't sell as well as marketable characters#like prime waifus#hell even UO started to print figurines of the main heroines but none as of yet of Alcina#can you imagine if the uwu overprotective dad joke#that is basically the crux of the Flayn'n'Seteth's relationship#was more developed in the lines of Seteth being afraid that Flayn would trust humans too much and reveal the truth about her#in a gesture of friendship and trust! and it would turn against her#I mean isn't it basically why the nabs are pissed at Adrestia??#Rhea trusted Willy about her pointy ears and now Willy's scion wants them out of Fodlan because their ears are pointy#or Flayn really getting along with people but ultimately not being able to trust them fully because she cannot tell them the truth#and maybe her support friends and all either pulling what everyone does with Marianne#or have the issue resolved in a more meaningful way like Nabs finally accepting to trust humans again in a plot relevant cutscene#and Flayn's final supports only being available after that cutscene#but we couldn't have that at all because again#Earl Grey + peanuts#can you imagine Sylvain getting a convo with Flayn post reveal? Where he feels like trash for wahwahing about his crust?#that's not the route the games wanted to walk on#so FEH can't walk it either#I swear this isn't a post asking for a new rhealt lol
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man okay so I used to play mechquest and dragonfable back in like, 2008 when I was a kid with very little patience to follow a storyline. coming back as an adult and finishing mechquest has absolutely slapped me silly with how deep and serious the story is in between all the absurdist humour. I have. so many emotions over the whole storyline, and especially so many thoughts about the unique form of tragedy that is The Reset.
You save the world but it's not the world anymore. You and your friends survive but you don't know each other anymore- have nothing left of the lives you fought to keep. You 'save' everything but it's still all gone. Everything you knew and loved, gone, and you don't even know what you've lost. You can't even keep the memory of what you had- and that's almost kinder compared to being one of the 3ish people who DO remember... and have to live around everyone else who doesn't, knowing their closest friends look at them and see a stranger, and that they may as well be because they aren't that person they remember being.
And to top it all off, that terrible sacrifice doesn't even end it. you're still left fighting impossible and devastating wars over and over. It's the tragedy of doomed time loops with extra layers of devastating all over the place. The GEARS University students being forced to become soldiers because they're all that's left to protect their homeworld. The horrors of the Shadowscythe virus taking over friends and loved ones you may be forced to put down to save yourself. The town of Falconreach burning over and over because no matter how hard they fight, it's never enough. The people like Sha'rae who sacrifice themselves to try and prevent tyrrany from seizing power, only for it to be utterly useless.
Anyway the brainrot is severe and especially dangerous since I'm coming into exam season and all my hyperfixated brain wants to do is chew on glass about these games.
#late nights with ali#ali plays ae#<- tentatively establishing this tag For The Future#mechquest#dragonfable#literally forced my roommate to listen to my thoughts on the absurd clashening of humour and tragedy that is cysero last night lmfao#imagine remembering being sys-zero with all the trauma that brings but being confined in your new self by the laws of comedy#so you can never truly acknowledge it and you have to spend your days around the people you were closest to-#(minus odessa who's just. completely absent)- and never FEEL it in any meaningful way. because you're cysero now and cysero is a comedy.#also like dude is roommates with warlic. formerly the dean of GEARS and a leader figure to him. but now he's just. some guy.#what must that be like??? pretty messed up for certain!!!#anyway I'm supposed to be finishing my final biophysics assignment and all I can think about is this#so I'm taking breaks between questions to make a playlist that I may post alongside the art I did of my MQ hero at some point#pls pray for me and my grades
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TW pet loss
Big long reflection post under the cut. Wanted to say it all somewhere that doesn’t have a character limit.
We are about a year out from when we put our two mares diagnosed with ESPA to sleep. Ultimately losing them has caused me to really sit with & unpack the way I had allowed the judging & breed standards to impair, inform, & even BECOME my own judgement, even when they didn’t make sense or clashed with something I knew wasn’t right. I think we all need to become more honest about the root of our sports & traditions, & redefine our ideas of “correctness” not based off of historical trends but the best & most current research we have access to.
I liked Skvísa from the start because she was hypermobile & that made her talented & easy to prepare for sport. Bottom line. Hypermobility wins, the standard calls it correct & rewards it, & I followed & believed in the standard. I didn’t see her hypermobility for what it was until recently. I saw it as talent, suppleness, flexibility.
If I hadn’t bred her, she’d have lived an almost normal lifespan, which is true of many ESPA horses. She always had some sensitivity & required a lot of careful stabilizing training to stay balanced with a rider (particularly to keep her trot & avoid cross-canter), but she would have more or less been okay for the normal lifespan of a horse. Her fetlocks might have dropped in her late teens, she might have developed an unusual propensity for eye ulcers or colics or whatever but if I hadn’t - twice! - allowed her body to undergo 11 months of relaxin & weight gain followed by a year+ of pasture time afterwards, she’d have lived a more or less normal life, & I can almost guarantee she’d have retired undiagnosed & whatever eventually killed her wouldn’t have prompted us to make the connection & diagnose her.
She only got diagnosed because for whatever reason her kids expressed this hereditary disease to a much more extreme degree, & with a much faster progression. Síríus was incompatible with life because his larynx lacked integrity & stuck together when he flexed his neck, blocking his airway. His older sister, Sylgja, seemed normal at birth but presented with extreme nerve impingements as she grew, & was crippled & experiencing whole-body pain episodes by 5. I got to see her get better under my stabilizing training & then watch her completely fall apart worse than before & realize that it was my responsibility, entirely, from her conception right down to the bitter, early end.
What happened to these horses is 100% my responsibility & my fault, the result of choices I made. But I made those choices based on the education I received regarding what “correctness” is & looks like - a standard I was then very heavily reinforced for riding & training towards.
Since my mares’ deaths, I’ve learned about enough other Icelandic horses with this disease, & talked to enough people who fully don’t care & have no intention to change anything that I’ve all but completely removed myself from the breed community. I won’t be told this was an isolated or unlucky problem for me specifically when I know that I’m not alone. I won’t continue to use language that dances around what we’re doing when we endlessly rehab the same problems over & over again - horses losing trot, losing canter, getting pacey, crests falling over, etc etc etc. I can’t see the sense in continuing to chase an “outline” that requires inappropriate poll/AO compression & a degree of leg action that does not make sense to the animal’s anatomy, with no research to support these practices and so MUCH research indicating that this runs counter to welfare, while mindlessly parroting the standards & citing them as the reason why X hypermobile hyperflexed example is “correct.” It’s a feedback loop. We’re saying that the horse is correct if he scores high, but he scores high because he’s correct.
It makes no sense. It’s rooted in nothing. The standard was written to fit the trends - it’s not as if science informed the standard & THEN the sport followed. No! The sport came first. That’s true of Icelandic horses, true of saddleseat, Tennessee walkers, hell - it’s true of competitive dressage. Honestly? It’s true of classical dressage, too! We are riding to standards set by a bunch of dudes from a very long time ago based off of what they thought 1. Looked cool & 2. Felt cool to ride, with NONE of the knowledge we currently have about training science, biomechanics, equine behavior, etc. As recently as the 1970s, scientists were still claiming animals couldn’t feel pain. Think about how that mentality informed horse training!!
We retrofitted rules to match & reward what was already winning, in these early iterations of sport. We continue to do mental & linguistic gymnastics to maintain this status quo with every new study that emerges. We know SO MUCH MORE now. We have progressed rapidly in the last century, last 50 years especially. Equestrian sports NEED an update. The onus can’t just be on the riders to find ways to meet the standards using better, more evidence-based techniques. The sport standards themselves have to change to fit what we KNOW now.
Anyway. Not all hypermobility is ESPA, obviously, and many ESPA horses can live long, relatively okay lives with careful management - if they’re diagnosed and the owners know & can stop riding them & certainly not breed them. It’s worth learning how to manage hypermobility, & how to use certain training techniques to help stabilize hypermobile horses, because the world is now absolutely freaking flooded with them. But until we stop rewarding it so heavily, we won’t stop selecting for it, & as I learned the hard way - when you’re breeding hypermobile animals, you can’t control how that hypermobility expresses itself down the line. AND - ESPA isn’t the only disease or injury associated with selecting for hypermobility.
Bottom line: No horse deserves what happened to Sylgja, in particular. She suffered, and longer than she should have because it took me so long to figure out what was wrong.
Because of this experience with them, my life looks completely different than it did a year ago, & in my opinion every single change is very much for the better. Identifying and learning to manage my own hypermobility & connective tissue weirdness has been a piece of that puzzle. I owe very much to those mares, but that is not what horses are here for. They do not exist to suffer so that we can learn about ourselves.
I considered what it would look like to step away from horsekeeping entirely, & in the heaviest months of grief that felt extremely attractive. But where I landed is to recommit myself to understanding their minds & bodies, be a student again (the trauma-informed certification being the first step of that!) & reconnect with my own horses more as pets, & less through sport. Beyond that, I really can’t say what my future with horses holds.
Right now I’m focusing on healing & supporting my own body, & building up other areas of my life. My own horses are not in the back seat, but they’re on this journey alongside me, rather than BEING my journey. I think it’s the amount of distance & clarity I need from the various pressures & stressors of The Sport to avoid falling back into the cycles that blinded me to Skvísa’s dysfunction to begin with.
I hope that when all is said & done, I emerge from all this grief & shifting to find that I am a better horseman than I was when they left me. Time will tell.
But I can’t let a year go by without acknowledging it. They died about a year ago. It was the worst experience of my life, from Síríus’ birth to Sylgja & Skvísa’s last breaths. I miss them daily. I feel the weight of my responsibility for them & their pain always, & I always will.
And if I haven’t said it publicly, I am so, so sorry for what happened to them.
#and the education that put me in the position to mistake hypermobility for talent?#that’s the education that most Icelandic horse enthusiasts receive from FEIF certified trainers#where one figures it out and leaves a whole new generation crops up and it will be that way until we can come together#and make some meaningful change#noseband tightness ain’t gonna cut it#what we think a correct Tölt looks like is wrong.#or trot#all of it!
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It's all about Nagi living alone in a tiny one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with zero personality and Reo having a whole floor for himself but still living surrounded by tacky-expensive home decor with no apparent traces of his actual personality, either. It's all about how Nagi's parents haven't visited him in 2 years nor taken an interest in his life since, while Reo's are content to live floors apart from their teenage son, only taking an interest in what value he can bring to Mikage Corp but being otherwise uninvolved in / dismissive of his actual life. It's all about them being surrounded by people and still not knowing how to form a meaningful connection with another person before meeting each other. It's all about them being so starved for genuine human warmth to combat their bone-deep loneliness that they both treasure memories of tiny, inconsequential moments where they were spending time with their parents. Something something it's this line,
and how it describes them both despite being said about Reo. It's them being awkward 17-year-olds who had never before had an equal who would just respect them as they are and unconditionally look their way. In this essay I will-
#Blue lock#Blue lock spoilers#Mikage reo#Nagi seishirou#Bllk thoughts#This chapter was sooooo good#Gosh. Just as I was grumpy about epinagi getting boring without all the emotional deep dives that made it so interesting in the first place#They go and give us this bonus chapter. What a feast#I wish every month could be like this#This gave so much perspective to why they are the way they are#Most of it is not new information but I really loved all the foiling in this omake#Truly drives it home how both get their drive from their partnership bc they crave meaningful connections#Like. I had a whole post about how they're both each other first friend#And even then it couldn't have prepared me to the reveal of reo living in a whole ass empty skyscraper by himself#Did you also notice the distinct lack of soccer paraphernalia in his house or was that just me#Heck there isn't even a single soccer ball in sight...#And he calls Nagi's room void#Gosh they're both so fascinating#Of course they're bored out of their mind before meeting each other. Imagine being that understimulated and that lonely#I'm surprised they're this functional tbh. If anything they should be More mentally ill#I sure would lose it after a week at Reo's place#At least nagi owns mangas come on
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fuck it hot pete campbell
#i have been collecting images for this organically for months and months. but the problem is I haven't really been watching mad men#in any meaningful way for months and months and I finally got enough yesterday that I was like I think this is an entire post idk#like I can keep hoping I see hot pete campbell when I pop on an ep for five minutes to take one screenshot#or I can just post this#also it's getting so far away in my drafts it's becoming a real hassle#because I write like 3-7 new rants in my drafts every day#mad men#pete campbell
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no more coffee shop aus society has moved past the need for coffee shop aus
#sorry i’m just tired of it. it’s 2024 come up with a new thing#it’s that and their ilk i’m tired of all of them. boring ass milquetoast aus that refuse to engage with the text in a meaningful way#text.dee
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An opinion.
I think that Lysandre should’ve been more offputting and creepy in the anime. I know there’s this whole meme about how game Lysandre rants about his plans to commit genocide in excruciating detail while everyone just stands there and lets it happen, but anime Lysandre just sat there and fucked around until the rushed as hell Kalos crisis arc. Aside from his association with Team Flare and maybe Sycamore not liking him, you might not have realized he was completely evil and not just misguided if his game and manga counterparts weren’t evil. His plans should’ve been foreshadowed more. Maybe he’s shown manipulating Alain in a really obvious way. Maybe he acts weird around Ash specifically and doesn’t blink when he’s looking at the kid. Maybe one character other than Sycamore (preferably a focal one) points out that he’s kinda scary and they don’t really like him or trust him.
Anyways, leave your thoughts down below.
#I also think that Ash should’ve had more to do during the Kalos crisis.#My boy got kidnapped to be used as a weapon of mass destruction and then he just shrugs it off and follows Alain around like a duckling#Not only did Lysandre not need him AT ALL outside of being a cool new toy but he doesn’t even get to contribute in a meaningful way#Give Lysandre a real reason to need him for the evil plan and justify his presence. Also maybe hurt him some more.#All I’m saying is that it would be cool and fucked up if Lysandre said he was going to weaponize a child and then he actually did that#pokeani#pokémon#pokemon anime#pokemon#ash ketchum#lysandre#pokemon xyz#team flare#alain pokemon#Kalos crisis
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scargument.png
#Death Note#Mello#Mihael Keehl#Beyond Birthday#BB#originally drawn sept 2016#i looooove the idea of them interacting both in-canon before B left wammy's and in an au where b survived and. idk was involved tangentiall#^not in any meaningful way just to provide snark#i'm just so obsessed w the fact that mello is the one who WROTE THE BOOK.#i was going to queue this but i colored it so i'm counting it as the new and remastered re-release#mizz art
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zim outliving dib but keeping an ai download of his personality around in the same manner as tak's ship... hmm
AI!Dib being at best apathetic to its own existence and at worst resentful of Zim for making it into an unwilling crutch for his grief. Zim eternally unsatisfied by this stripped down version of Dib that isn't quite a person and can't touch him or hurt him or chase him. Zim putting the thing in charge of almost all his tech as compensation, just to keep life interesting, just to have something they can fight over.
#invader zim#zadr#zadp#natterings#iz posting#this comes off depressing and uh#it is#but i think in actuality the whole thing would ultimately be very bittersweet#something about death being change and their relationship continuing in a fundamentally altered but still meaningful form#fucked up for sure but they were always fucked up#theres a new kind of bond to be forged here its just gonna take them a while to figure it out#theres no getting back what they had but one way or another#they are destined/doomed to orbit each other
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less people should be writing myth retellings and more people should be writing myths
#make new ones I'm tired of this yall need to let Ariadne fucking rest#very few greek retellings every say anything meaningful or analyze the myth in any meangingful way its always the same shit#and its always bad shit#like if I gotta see another person come to the shocking conclusion that the gods....are bad people...#i'm gonna fucking lose it (i already lost it because one time I read a book where a greek woman was appalled by animal sacrifice)
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