#it is legitimately so fucking funny like. scene of all time truly

[bookinit02]

every time i rewatch the 7x04 gym scene i lose my entire mind. he AMAZON PRIMED A BASKETBALL. INSTANT DELIVERY. TO HIS PLACE OF WORK. SOLELYYYYYYY so he could spin it on his finger and grin his big ol smile and say “hey eddie! i was thinking we should grab a hoop!😄🏀⛹️” only for eddie to go “uh huh” and keep walking. this was an intricately planned mating tactic and eddie didn’t even NOTICE. and then buck sat down cradling his basketball and pouting. like so. ☹️🏀🙍🏼‍♂️ and then he went and broke eddie’s ankle and made out with an entirely different man.

[cerastes]

I was wondering, are there any characters in Arknights that on the surface are jokesters, but anre actually immensely deep and powerful? I know about characters like Jaye and Nothing, but they aren’t particularly funny and casual. What I’m looking for is someone like Sans, basically.

"Nothing isn't particularly funny" oh we're just fundamentally different people then because I smile like a babe listening to jingling keys every time he's in the scene.

In the exact same regard as Sans, 1:1? Not really. Similar enough in some regards or in essence that they warrant mention? Yeah, I'd say so.

Aak is a good case, I'd say. Aak is a very casual guy, perhaps excessively so, referring to Doctor as "my dude" and in general having a very whimsical whistle to his steps, not to mention his seemingly jovial soul. Then you dig a bit deeper and you realize, well, despite the way he behaves, he takes what he does extremely seriously and is one of the most ruthless characters in the cast as a whole, in addition to being a medical sciences prodigy the likes of which Terra has seldom seen, and being infamous in the criminal underworld as a vigilante and executioner that has no qualms disposing of a mother fucker, if said fornicator of moms is a criminal and adversely affects others. See, the thing with Aak is that he, for the longest time, hated being so good at the medical sciences, because as he saw with his own twisted father, a brutal underworld doctor and criminal, curing illnesses doesn't begin to truly rid the common man of their suffering: There are always oppressors, abusers, those who selfishly make lives difficult for others for their own gain. Aak believes that to be a truly good "doctor", he needs to eliminate the root cause of the people's suffering: Criminals that will hurt them. Since his cooperation with Rhodes Island, his views have shifted a bit for the better (understanding people better, finding a good friend that shares his latent curiosity and love for the medical sciences and research in Warfarin), but it's still evident that Aak remains an unstable vat of fluoroantimonic acid waiting to bubble over, if the right trigger is present. He's not particularly powerful, with all his evaluations being "Normal" and "Standard", but his ruthlessness, his knowledge of the underworld, and his deep knowledge of medical sciences do make him quite dangerous despite "my dude"ing you.

Ceobe is the other one that comes to mind. Ceobe basically replicates the experience of having a big dumb loving dog, not just with Doctor, but with others as well, such as her canonical friends Vulcan and Sesa (Sesa being someone that also qualifies imo), and is in general a fun goober that livens up every scene she's in on virtue of, well, being a big dumb loving dog with all that entails: She WILL break into the kitchen even though she knows it's forbidden for her to do this, she WILL steal food, she WILL whimper and apologize, she WILL grow immensely defensive over her loved ones over things like "a loud vacuum cleaner" and WILL act over any perceived threat with maximum power; the entirety of Integrated Strategies 1, Ceobe's Fungimist, comes about because Ceobe gets high on hallucinogenic mushrooms she found in the jungle, and goes apeshit because she imagines this whole scenario where Villains have kidnapped Doctor and only she and whatever friends she can recruit on the way can save them, resulting in her beating the absolute shit out of numerous warrior tribes Dynasty Warriors style. Let's talk about that last part! She beat the absolute shit out of numerous warrior tribes Dynasty Warriors style while high as fuck on shrooms. She can do that! Because Ceobe is actually fucking shredded. Despite being a Funny Dog, Ceobe is a legitimately Arts genius, having no formal training and yet being able to use Arts with no problem, almost instinctively, as well as simply being able to harness pretty much any weapon she touches and empower them further with her Arts. Part of this is definitely because she's VERY Infected, but not even that explains just the sheer magnitude and expertise with which Ceobe seems to use her Arts. And speaking of? She dragged herself, across much of Terra, while incredibly Infected and with no care at all.

Ceobe, by all rights, should be dead. Not even the Medic Operator that wrote her medical file has a lot of faith, and her Oripathy is explicitly very grave and only getting worse. And even in this state, she dragged herself and the small arsenal strapped to her back across the world.

Her Physiological Endurance rank of Outstanding is no joke. Keep in mind, this is a rank equivalent to the toughest and most resilient characters we know of, such as Specter and Hoshiguma.

This is all stuff you'll only ever realize about Ceobe if you pay attention, because she's almost exclusively used for comedic relief, but the funny dog is actually a natural archmage and weaponmaster that just won't fucking die, if we were to use more fantasy adjacent terms for her.

There's more (like Sesa) but those two are the ones that jumped to mind.

[bonkbobl]

make a deal or play a game

ROOSE BOLTON X READER

a/n: guys im gonna be so fr with yall i legitimately dont know where this energy came from but here you go. this contains possibly the longest sex scene i've ever written in my entire history of fic writing and i did get a little carried away. like a little more than carried away. the keys just dont stop click clacking

summary: You find out Roose has been plotting against your King but you know the Northern cause cannot survive with the North divided between the King's loyalists and a Bolton-Karstark army backing their martyred liege lords. You and Lord Bolton need each other more than either of you would care to admit, grasping for power over each other.

warning: DUBCON!!!! as in the dubbiest of cons, power dynamics, forced marriage, roose bolton is secretly a perverted old man, EDGING like a LOT OF EDGING, wet humping??/thigh fucking, dacyrphilia, wait girl he's literally like obsessed with you eeeeeeeee

You were always Robb Starks most trusted advisor, and who was to question why. A ward, offered by one of the Starks most loyal vassal houses for the honor of have you join their family as a ward. Your father practically begged them to raise you when your Lady Mother succumbed to the failed birthing of your baby brother. He hoped one day you may reach a higher station that you'd have been afforded, and how better to reach that than through the Starks. Your father shared a great great, a few times over, great grand parent with Ned, and ever honorable, the Lord Stark agreed to take you in.

But its difficult for a woman to rise up in the world, even harder still, in the midst of a war. Men did not like to make room for women at war but Robb was like your brother. He trusted you. And he trusted your opinion on people. It's because while the Starks held that honor must be of paramount importance, you understood not everyone held that same principle. You make sure Robb doesn't trust everyone as he trusts you.

Trust is a funny thing because you could trust someone with your life but you may not trust them to cook a chicken correctly. You may trust someone to lead a garrison of ten thousand for you and not trust them with a knife in close quarters without a guard behind you. Trust was what you dealt in — advising Robb on deals that he was to make with other Lords, even so far as traveling on his behalf.

Deals, and diplomacy — charms, and words. That was your strength.

Robb Stark insisted that Catelyn take you to the twins to aid in negotiations with Walder Frey, he deferred to you to send letters to Renly and Stannis Baratheon, you were even the one who had sent out the rallying cry at the very beginning of his great war to all his Bannermen. Everyone knew it. He was the brain, you were the mouth. The pretty, cunning, biting mouth of the young wolf.

—————

One issue you were never able to resolve was Roose Bolton. He was cold, calculating, and distant. Though he seemed to care deeply for the Northern cause, you had little to believe he was truly as passionate about Robb as King.

It began with certain issues in which you would honestly take Roose's side instead of Robb's and since you saw Roose as an ideological ally, you would shoot glances at him after Robb declared he'd have his way after all. In those moments, a bitter gaze that lingered a few seconds too long on the King in the North roused suspicion in you.

It wasn't serious. You're sure its the frustration than anyone would feel being brushed aside so many times. But as the social tension within Robbs camp rose, you felt that you must do something about it.

You don't trust Walder Frey. He wouldn't so easily brush aside a slight as heavy as the King in the North refusing his daughter's hand in marriage. He wouldn't trade it so carelessly, not even for a claim in the Riverlands. The fact was that a young boy had made him a promise and quickly threw it all away the moment he got what he needed.

Frey's resentment of all the Paramount liege lords in Westeros already made any alliance between you fragile. Compound it with more insult and well, you just didn't know what you expected from this.

So when you saw a rave flying even in the general direction of the twins, you shot it down.

The Bolton seal, you noted, as you inspected the short scroll.

Tomorrow the white sun will illuminate the darkness clouding your castle. We will dine on fishes and the hour of the wolf will drown out in history. Ensure final preparations are made.

R.B.

As you read it, you could feel blood draining from your face and you really should have gone to Robb immediately but the need to find out what plot was brewing overtook reason. When the men were drinking and dining, you snuck into Roose Bolton's tent.

————���

"Letters, letters..." You muttered. You had already checked his desk but of course the man isn't dense enough to store proof of treachery in the drawer of a desk where any young squire may stumble upon them. So you were rifling through everything, casting aside bulks of chainmail, furs, coats, anything.

As you did, your mind ran endlessly about what might happen. So the Boltons and the Freys. Eliminate them and you're forced to then castrate your own army. We were already outnumbered greatly. Losing the Boltons is a blow we may not survive even if we survive this bloody wedding.

And the reference to the white sun illuminating the darkness was not so easily lost on you. You weren't sure, but coupled with the rising tensions with the Karstark men who currently stood one third of Robb's entire army, you could take a gander to why the white sun of their sigil was mentioned in Roose Bolton's death letter.

"Looking for something?"

Roose's voice cut clear through the room, it even felt like it sliced right through your heart. Well die tonight or die tomorrow night it makes no difference to you. But it makes all the difference to the North.

You should have gone to Robb first. Your foolishness.

You straightened up and flattened the blankets on his cot down. "Just tidying up. Waiting for you, my lord," And you took a deep breath, braving a sultry look on your face before turning around.

"Me?" Roose asked, pure amusement in his voice. You'd have to work to really get him to believe you.

"All this talk of weddings, it's all I hear now. Everyone, everywhere," You hoped your hesitation wasn't visible as you draped your arms around Roose's neck and stared into his eyes.

"And why are you here, my lady, waiting for me."

You sighed, careful not to drop the ruse. Of all men why did it have to be Roose Bolton. Any other man, after not touching a woman for years, wouldn't have questioned the logic of your seduction and you'd at least have a chance to hit him over the head with a lantern, maybe a knife if you're lucky. But Roose hed his gaze with you evenly. Challenging you.

How to get him to trust you...

"Isn't it obvious?" You tilted your head, staring with the biggest pleading eyes you could muster. And you looked at his lips, just a moment of hesitation overtaking you before you leaned in and slowly molded your mouth to his.

Your heart went wild as he kissed you back, a mix of emotions forming. You were still scared for your life but you were also happy that your trick seemed to be working. And under the two dominant emotions, there was a slight hint of something else at play. You chalked up to the scandalousness of it all. It wasn't your main worry, but as a proper lady you were raised to not be caught in close quarters with another unmarried man, especially if you were doing salacious things — or if it looked like you were about to. It was also the first time you'd ever kissed a man.

Not the greatest conditions, but alas, you could care less about a tender kiss or even a few. You just need a distraction and its working. Roose kissed you back so fiercly it made you dizzy. So dizzying that you hadn't realized he reached into your pockets.

When the kiss broke, you stared up at him, his face composed and hard as stone, almost as if it hadn't affected him at all. But his lips were swollen and he stared at you, eyes betraying him to look down at your equally puffy lips and you smirked.

You made sure to hold his gaze and you let your hand trail down his front, teasing just above his crotch. "Celebrate the happy betrothal with me?"

Roose cracked a smile and nodded, a sarcastic hum rumbling from him, "Your nerves give you away, my lady." Your heart sank. "You quiver like a virgin playing at being a whore. It was almost convincing, but..." He held up the letter that you had stolen from the raven.

You let the dread overtake your face and you ran.

But you couldn't even make two steps before Roose pulled you by your wrist, back into his chest.

You struggled for a few seconds but stilled as soon as you felt cool metal under your chin.

"A deal," You spoke quickly, equally as quickly deciding you really didn't like the feeling of a cold blade pressing against the neck, that you very much did like.

"A deal?" Roose breathed the question into your ear. He was so obviously not scared or even wary of you. And you scrambled to keep the upper hand.

"I could always scream instead. You could kill me, make some excuse to cover yourself up, but that excuse wont pass, not for our King's childhood friend. You could run. You'd be dead within the fortnight if they caught you." You hoped that you weren't just spewing bullshit, "The camp is so dense. How likely are you to make it to Frey before one of Robbs catches you first? And your plan would fail. Robb would know something's wrong."

He was permitting you to continue, so you did. He wasn't so much as urging you to continue but rather, watching, knowing you would.

"I could offer your head to our king. But I imagine you wouldn't enjoy that very much. So many options but I propose the best one — you could turn on Frey, tell Robb. Warn him about Karstark, too. Wouldn't you much rather become the new Lord of the Twins than deal with a petty mess?"

Roose considered it for a couple seconds before releasing you. You're right that making you disappear would be a little more annoying that simply a petty mess. He knows he can't just let you go either. He doesn't trust you.

Whats to stop you from running to tell Robb as soon as he let you go anyway? Then he remembers that his soldiers make up the largest portion of Robb Starks army aside from the Karstarks. And that there was his leverage. That's why you were trying to reason with him. Which really means, despite everything, he could even go as far to say that he's the one with the upper hand in this situation.

You, apparently unwilling to inform Robb of his treachery, asking him to warn your King and continue to fight by his side, all you had was a secret that only the two people in this room know. Not a very good hand. You don't even have proof anymore. Roose walked over to his bed, pulling a stack of letters out from a slit in the mattress.

You sighed, kicking yourself. You were so close. And you watched him, walking to the fire at the foot of his bed with his eyes trained on you. You watched helplessly hope was scorched in the flames.

Your heart was pounding out of your chest and only now had you permitted yourself to notice it. Sitting at the edge of his bed, You wiped your forehead.

Roose chuckled. Clever girl, weighing logic and strategy, no trouble following the shifting power between you two. You knew you needed him. You knew Robb needed him. You knew the odds of winning this war was slim already now that the Tyrells had joined the fray. You knew if you gave him a reason, he might slit your little throat tonight. And sure that meant Robb might get the hint not to attend the wedding, but the Northern army would still be crushed within half a year.

And perhaps you valued that pretty little head of yours above all else.

Now, Roose took interest, evaluating you with a new eye, "What is your proposal?"

"You go, tell Robb of the plans but tell him you intended on being a turncoat this entire time."

"And what do I receive in exchange for this act of mercy."

You chuckled, "My many thanks, redemption in the eyes of the Gods," you offered sardonically, knowing the answer would come as too dismissive. You could tell Roose wasn't impresssed, "I can still tell the King, my lord, if it pleases you.

Roose, ever perplexed by your mind, drew closer but stowed his knife back in his holster, behind him. He made it so that you had to tilt your head up to look at him. "Do not think for a second that you might have the upper hand in this position, my lady. I say that, not as a threat, but as advice. Know when you do not have the upper hand. Know when to serve."

You glared up at him, scanning his eyes, baffled by his audacity. You are— "I am a—"

"Stark Ward. But not a Stark. If you go to Robb, you have no proof. I might have my own story. You and Greyjoy, bitter that you'd never truly be accepted into the Stark family plotted the demise of the King in the North, who I so faithfully served up until now. There is no reason for Robb to view me with less trust than you... The King may grow weary with paranoia. First his brother... then he doesn't know to trust his closest advisor or his sister. "

"But you---"

"I am guilty. And you have no evidence. You are asking for a favor. Tell me, what difference does it make if the King dies tomorrow or three months later on the Battlefield without my men to back him." he questioned, enunciating each word clearly, staring down at you.

You cursed yourself for sitting. The scare was not over, you should have realized. Even if the cold blade was no longer physically at your neck, Roose Bolton still had a knife to you.

"What do you want?"

He chuckled, "One day I will have a need for you. And that day, you will obey. You owe me your life, my lady. And the King's life."

You glared at the ground, wishing you could say something of his arrogance, "And Robb?"

"I will tell him of the plans. And you will not tell him the truth. Any time you think you want to tell the young wolf what we discussed in these chambers remember that it is your pretty neck and your reputation that may be in my hands." Roose gave you one last look, then whispered, "Go on now. Back to your tent."

You stood, meeting him with one last glare.

He smiled sweetly at you, nodding, "I thoroughly enjoyed the display."

—————

Your promise to Roose Bolton loomed over you every day for a month. You spent your days watching his actions closely to know when he was plotting anything, but he's yet to step blatantly out of turn.

He was showered with honors for being savior at the Red Wedding, not only becoming the official Lord presiding over the Twins, but he was given a large portion of the remaining Karstark forces, which thankfully very few deserted the King in the North after the victory at the Twins. Roose sent his Bastard to serve in his stead at Karhold, which was now under close surveillance for their treachery.

You paled to hear these developments. Because in truth you still failed to trust Roose Bolton though you hoped these gifts from the King in the North sweetened the pot enough for him to follow through with his promise to you. You simply shivered at the obscene amount of power that was showered to him.

So long as he retained the upper hand you would continue to be unsettled. You wish he would just tell you what he wants from you quickly so that you may get it over with. Really, something you think he just enjoys watching you squirm.

"Milk of the Poppy," Talisa said calmly.

And you moved to argue with your queen but hearing the screams of agony of the man being tended you, you decided there was a time and place.

The queen finished up with him quickly and turned back to you. That's when you started, "My Queen, I'm sure you're tired of hearing. And I, more than anyone else here understand your concern for the wellbeing of unnamed Lannister boy-soldiers."

Talisa, laughed, ducking her head in preparation for your words.

"But truly... Milk of the Poppy?" You pleaded, "I know it may seem cruel but it's really more of a luxury in wartime than anything. Perhaps that can be saved for the men fighting for our King."

Your queen met your eyes again but then at something behind you. Turning, you saw Roose speaking with Robb. Robb glanced at you, spoke something back to the Dreadlord and patted his arm before making his way to you. Roose spared you a glance before walking in the other direction, toward his tent.

"I'll take your words into consideration, my lady," Talisa reassured, "I understand. Thank you for stating your opinion calmly and without judgement."

You smiled in sympathy, knowing the men in the army could be quite rough around the edges with their opinions.

Talisa started again, taking some time to gather her tools "My husband is coming. I think he wants to speak with you."

Robb came up to the two of you, placing a hand on the small of Talisa's back, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering something short in her ear.

"I'll leave you to it then," Talisa said sweetly and left to find more sick to tend to.

As soon as she did, Robb's features were cast with a stern seriousness. You evaluated it, wondering if it had anything to do with Roose Bolton's conversation with him just moments before.

"What is it?" You asked.

Robb sighed, "You don't have to agree. You can think on it for a while. I know it can be daunting seeing as I'm almost sure he's older than father."

"What is it?" You pressed urgently.

"Roose Bolton asked for my blessing to take your hand in marriage."

Your heart sank, the full weight of the deal you made with Roose falling on your shoulders.

"I gave him my blessing as I have no reason not to. But I warned him that I cannot force you to be amenable." With a laugh, Robb tried to cheer you up but to no avail, "I even warned him you shared Arya's disdain for marriage from a young age."

You simply nodded, expressionless and quickly muttered something to dismiss yourself and you ran straight for Roose Bolton's tent.

—————

The route to Roose's tent felt quick, like you had stormed off from Robb and landed right at his door. Your anger bubbled at your throat and you could hardly wait before storming in and yelling at the man sat at his desk.

"So that's it?" You asked, bewildered, "That's how you aim to make me repay my debt?"

Roose didn't even look up at you as he continued to write on a small strip of parchment. "It seems with my sudden acquisition of the Twins, even if I legitimize my bastard, it will not be enough to sustain my achievements. I'm in dire need of heirs. You owe me a favor."

You were speechless for a second and you felt a laugh be punch out of your chest, the mere ridiculousness — the scale of this favor. "A favor, my lord, usually doesn't include a lifelong bind. A favor, I would imagine is a one and done type of deal." Marching to the side of his table, you attempted to command his attention, "Was the twins not enough? Was having your bastard installed as acting Lord of Karhold not enough?"

Roose looked up at you, calmly speaking. "I'd like to remind you, my lady, that had I not warned the King in the North of the Freys and Karstarks treachery, I'd have been named Warden of the North by the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms."

Closing your mouth, you huffed, amazed by this mans blatant selfishness. Titles.

"The Twins, and temporary reign over the Karstark maneuvers pales in comparison to what I had abandoned."

"Well you our deal wasn't for me to make that loss up to you, it was so you could keep your head and remain loyal to King Robb." You shook your head, "I wont do it. If you're the pragmatic, power hungry man you claim to be, why don't you plot your way into some other lady's bed — someone who could give you another stronghold to place your seed upon? I'd just be a cow to breed, nothing else to gain from there"

"A pretty cow to breed with a respectful name and no brothers to take your family home. I'd say you're as good a match as any."

You gasped at his blatant disrespect, blood rising to your head, and you landed a firm slap to his face. You even went for seconds but he grabbed your wrist firmly. You tried to pull it away but he wouldn't let you.

"Of course, we'll have to do something about that temper of yours once we are wed," He warned, pulling you a little harshly — not too rough but enough to make you fall forward and catch yourself on his table. He stood, circling around the table, as casually as he could managed but he did adjust his jaw from the slap you landed on him. "Your spirit and smart mouth have done you well in the past but only when they are in company with your wits. Don't go losing those wits and getting yourself in trouble. As I'm sure you are aware, there are dangerous men lurking in times of war."

"Dangerous men like you," You pushed yourself off the table and faced him again, crossing your arms, "I owe you my life. What happens if I decide I'd rather die than marry you?"

"Then what will be protecting your King, if not your life?"

That took any retort out of your mouth, as this was not an avenue you'd expected him to take. You stuttered dumbly for a moment. "M-my King? What of him? They—... House Frey and the Karstarks have been dealt with. You—"

"I can still betray him. He trusts me now more than ever. If I write to Tywin Lannister detailing how the plan had been spoiled and I explain that I'd counted our losses and regained the trust of the King so that we may try again well, that'd be easy enough," He stared down at you and said the next part clearly, "You are the only thing stopping me from doing so. If you'd rather die..."

You shook your head at him, scowling. The entire North, dependent on what you say to this man. "I don't want to marry you," you stood your ground as well as you could, "Anything else, I'll do."

Roose looked to the ground next to you, "Well then," He sighed.

Then he glanced back at you, giving you a lazy once over.

He sighed again, this time more sure, straightening his back and that's when you knew he'd had an idea.

You didn't like him getting ideas. You don't like his mind and the thoughts he spins.

"Another deal. A game, more like."

You didn't trust the slight tinge of a smile. Really you just didn't trust or like this man. Every moment you're in his tent feels like a gamble. "What game?" You especially hate the idea of playing his games. Right into the bear trap, it felt like.

Where you excelled in proposing deals that suited the interests of both sides perfectly, the Boltons were infamous for creatively constructing games that were rigged from the start, in their favor.

"Part of it is that you have to figure out the rules," He smiled.

You should have known the odds were against you. They always were when it came to Roose Bolton. How does one negotiate with a man like him?

Your attention was drawn back to him when his hand came up to the pin that secured your cloak to your shoulders. He undid the on on the right, then the one on your left. And you could do nothing but watch it fall to the floor, heart racing, because suddenly you understood.

Why did you have to say "Anything"?

Of course... You watched him, his clenched jaw, barely holding back from just ripping your clothes off, and you realized: Roose Bolton is just like any other man. He only wants one thing. Married to you or not.

One and done, you wondered, Is that better?

He pulled the laces securing your dress in the front, watching his eyes greedily take in your chest as more of it was exposed. Soon, your dress hugged your waist and shoulders, barely covering your top half.

You smacked his hand away as it reached under the fabric draping at your shoulders.

The silent question in your eyes was What the fuck do you think you're doing?

Roose simply chuckled softly, “Letting me see your tits is not as bad as marrying me, is it, my lady?” Dark intentions coated his syrupy smooth voice and it made you shiver.

Breathing a long, angry sigh, you looked up at him, “I could just kill you.”

“Even if you managed, your king desperately needs Bolton men. They'll only follow a Bolton,” He spoke matter of factly, tugging your sleeves so they fell off your shoulders.

He's right. The Starks and the Boltons had no love for each other. Centuries of hate. Many Karstarks remained loyal to Robb because of the history of love between the houses. There was no such history between the Starks and Boltons.

The cool air hit your exposed skin. “Trust me,” Roose smiled satisfied with the sight before him, taking a firm handful of your breast, caressing over it and pinching the nipple as he let go, “You’d rather handle me than deal with my bastard.”

You shivered and took several steps back from him and his touch, and moved to cover your breasts with your hands as well as you could.

You’d definitely heard about his bastard. From what you knew, he was a more unhinged, less predictable version of Roose, more willing to get his hands dirty, more eager to act. You stood and let Roose’s eyes rake over your body, disgust bubbling at your throat.

“So conveniently, my best option is to either marry you or let you fuck me and ruin any marriage prospects in my future?”

“Who said anything about fucking?” Roose raised his brow, playing innocent, “I just want to see you, touch you... feel you touch me. I wont put anything inside your cunt unless you ask me to.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, you dont trust his mercy, especially the last clause. Unless you ask him to. Why in seven hells would you ask him to? “What do you want me to do?”

Roose smirked widely and the look should have terrified you — you’ve never seen such twisted joy on a persons face before, especially not stoic Roose Bolton.

He stepped closer to you once more, hands coming to cradle your face and neck gently. Your hands instinctively followed, grabbing his wrists cautiously. Though a hint of that devious smirk lingered, he looked at you with gentleness between his eyes, “Lets start with another kiss,” He said, condescension lacing his voice, “seeing as my lady was so eager the last time we saw each other.”

You couldnt help but fall a little under his spell, eyebrows furrowing as you tried to figure out why you felt dizzy with him so close to you, cold eyes darting all over your face. Why your mind whirred with the memory of how hungrily he responded to you last time you were in his tent. You wondered if perhaps you had sparked something in him. If that was why he was so insistent.

You nodded softly, so soft that upon thinking on it, you wondered if it was even noticable. But Roose had been watching you closely for any sign of submission and he closed the gap between you before you could move to do anything else.

He noted how you tensed just as his lips met yours and he carefully took your hands, guiding them to wrap around his neck. You tried to relax into it as much as possible and kiss him back, but it proved difficult until his arms came around and pulled you closer to him.

His bare hand on your back made you jolt and he chuckled deeply, the rumble of it making you shy away. "Roose," You started, unsure of what you would say. That you already need a break?

Roose ignored you, hands coming back up to cup your breasts, "Fucking gorgeous. And you've been right in front of me this entire time," He spoke so lowly you almost thought he was muttering to himself. But his eyes trained on you told you different.

He leaned down the few extra centimeters to meet your lips again, this time toying with your hardened buds as he did. Your hand shot up to grab his wrist but he just pinched in response. You squealed, lips parting from his but he kept you held close.

"Behave."

You whined, glaring at him, your dignity clinging to any sliver of hope it had of remaining intact.

Roose glared right back and took your hand, leading you toward his cot. He sat you on his lap and again, turned his attention toward your chest after kissing you a few times. This time, his lips wrapped around the bud on your right while his hand toyed with the other.

You tensed as a moan threatened to escape you, especially with his tongue circling around the way it did. When he sucked and continued that technique at the same time it was difficult not to enjoy. To be honest, you didn't even know a man could enjoy a woman's body like this — so shamelessly lewd. But he promised no penetration. You assume that means he deigns to make use of your body in any other way.

It was quickly proving to be too much. You grunted a few times when moans caught in your throat, gutteral noises and sighs to keep the really embarrassing noises down. But even that was wearing thin. Your hand shot up to his head and tugged at his hair. Your back arched into him, body twitching when he'd trigger a sensitive nerve.

And before you could stop it, you sighed something a little too audible, too close to a full moan. You began trying to push his head away.

Roose grabbed your hands firmly, pushing them away and gave you a small nip as a warning. You yelped, staring at him incredulously. Then he switched to your more neglected nipple.

This same torture continued for far too long, but the result was worse than the torture itself, because you couldn't deny the pool forming in your small cloths. The pleasure of him toying with your sensitive buds just goes straight down there. You can't help it.

"My lord, h-how much more."

"I'll play with you until I'm satisfied, darling," He answered cooly, "Don't ask again."

You nodded, looking at his intense, watchful eyes. And he crashed his lips on yours again. This time, he reached beneath all the heavy layers of your skirts and pulled your breeches down. You helped him kick them off.

When the pads of his finger met your cunt, they circled around in search but he cut his search off, chuckling at what he found. You pulled away from his lips, hiding in his shoulder because you already knew what he was laughing at.

"Look at my little whore. Never been touched like this, have you? You're going to let me ruin you for your King?"

You groaned, feeling his fingers gather your slick, then he found a bundle of nerves. It felt like when he was licking your nipples— the way it tingled down there— but he was touching the exact source of it. Sometimes you'd cross your legs or gyrate your hips against a pillow and feel the same way but Wow you always thought that sensation was coming from something deeper inside you. Turns out its right there. Right at the front of your vulva.

And Roose knew. You gripped his knee and spread your legs for him as he toyed with you in ways you hadn't even known to toy with yourself. Your lips fell open but you wouldn't allow a single sound to come out, though you knew this would be far more difficult to bear than what he was doing previously.

Your body would twitch and tense up under his ministrations. Something was building within you. You'd felt this kind of feeling, grinding against soft pillows, but then the feeling would die after a little while. You'd walk away satisfied with the morsel of pleasure.

But with Roose, it wasn't going anywhere. It kept building and building.

Eventually, you thought that perhaps an end to the build was near but he diverted his fingers, playing with your opening instead, gathering more slick.

You calmed yourself, taking a few breaths to calm yourself. You looked down to see Roose staring at you, eyes hooded with a dark cloud of lust, lips parted, just taking you in like you were the most interesting, captivating thing he's ever seen.

His finger teased your entrance, pushing slightly and you ripped your gaze away from his intense eyes, studying you. Gods... Oh gods. You rolled your hips but he pulled his hand away finally.

Roose wiped his hand on your skirt. "Do you like being touched by me?"

You refused to answer, turning your head and looking anywhere else. Weakly, you shook your head no.

"Don't lie," he scolded.

You forced yourself to meet his eyes, brows furrowed, confusion behind your eyes, wondering how your body could betray you like this. But its just biology. Simple as that.

"You came close."

"Close to what?"

That made Roose smirk wider, a twinge of surprise and excitement, "Close to a release that some women can achieve while fucking." Roose took a second to compose himself before continuing, "A release that you won't experience tonight, unless it's around my cock."

Fear filled you, "You said you wouldn't."

"No, I wont," Roose cooed, a false comfort, "Not until you ask."

"I wont."

"We'll see, darling," He moved his arms from you and nudged your behind a little, "Up. Take off your dress."

You stood and obeyed, albeit hesitantly. He also took to stripping himself, but left on his small clothes. You, having already rid yourself of your breeches, were bare as the day you were born once you took off your dress.

Roose, with a hand to your waist, pulled you into him, standing in between his legs and he pressed a kiss to your stomach, trailing down to your dripping cunt. You shuddered at the thought of his tongue circling around that spot the way it circled your nipple. You don't think you could bear that.

Unfortunately for you, that was exactly what Roose had in mind. He lifted your leg so that your foot rested on the edge of his bed, which sat low on the ground. It's height provided the perfect angle for him to duck under and lick a flat stripe over your clit.

Your cunt convulsed and you were embarrassed for it because unlike your moans, you could not hide the reactions of your cunt as easily. His tongue dipped a little further, barely dipping into your hole to taste you and collect your essence on his tongue.

He groaned into you, the vibration making you bite your lip. He feasted on you like a starved man, wrapping his lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves and gently shaking his head as he sucked. Each time he flicked his tongue sent shocks through your body and you'd buck your hips against his face.

Even just the image that you were met with when you looked down— Roose Bolton burying his face into those parts...

If him licking your nipples was considered lewd, you didn't know how to describe this correctly. You hadn't even realized that men did this in the first place. Frankly it felt like something a man like Roose would normally consider to be too debasing and submissive.

There was nothing submissive about the way Roose licked up your juices. This was a man who was confident he held all the power and you'd be stupid to underestimate him.

Whines, real wanton whines pushed through your throat, filling the open air of his tent and that only seemed to spur him on. You submitted to it, feeling his hand come under your buttock and his other wrap around your waist. He then hoisted you up in the air and gently laid you down on the bed.

Roose not so gently spread your legs and settled between them, continuing his treatment on you.

Again the coil in your core tightened impossibly tight and just as you thought you'd reach some higher pleasure. He pulled away, peppering kisses to your thigh to calm you. You breathed heavily, staring at the ceiling.

This time, having him stop was frustrating. You cant lie. And you had a feeling you were in for a rather long night. Your hand twitched, almost wanting to give yourself the pleasure that he refused but you knew Roose would not let you. This was his game.

The game where you win if you steel through and manage to out last him.

You whimpered, legs quaking softly when he carefully bent and flicked his tongue against your clit again. Even, at this point, the feeling of his stubbled cheeks brushing your inner thigh was almost too sensitive to bear. Your body was responding to everything.

Soon you were bucking against his face, cursing the gods, and repeating the process again and again.

He learned what you liked quickly and tried everything under the sun. Dipping his tongue into you, he brought you just to the precipice of something amazing by fucking you with nothing but his mouth.

Once you had settled from the near high a fourth time, Roose pulled your body closer to him and through his lustblown eyes. He whispered to you as his fingers came to tease your entrance again, "May I?"

You looked down at him, biting your lip and you wanted to say yes. Your entire being begged for it. But your pride told you to say, "Do I have a choice?"

He merely chuckled at the loss of any desire to argue within you, and he plunged two thick fingers into your cunt. You cried out, the stretch somewhat shocking to you. But you were so wet that it really just felt nice, despite being foreign.

The noise you made was something you didn't even think could be produced within you. You moved to cover your face, laughing into them neverously because holy shit you need to get a hold of yourself. You need to. You've never felt this weak in the hands of someone else.

His fingers filled you nicely but you dreaded to admit it wasn't enough. And you didn't like how stiff they felt inside you. Something softer might feel more like it belongs. something longer and thicker... Something like—

Roose growled and that noise brought you out of your trance. You stared at him for a second, his eyebrows knit together frustratedly. His fingers did their work inside your cunt while his mouth continued to torture your clit.

"Fuck! Ahhh... fuck fuck—" You groaned, gritting your teeth together as you tried to keep yourself up to watch him.

You breathlessly but sort of victoriously took note of his clear frustration. You were proving to be more stubborn than he bargained for, you assume. But he was persistent too. There was no mistaking who had the power here.

He groaned, pumping his fingers into you. It was difficult not to imagine how it would feel when you finally gave in to him. So he let you know, "Your cunt loves me, my lady. You feel it clenching around me. You're so desperate for more. All you have to do is ask."

"Eat shit," you choked out. You meant to say it more confidently, less weak and shuddery but it created the same effect within Roose as it would have either way.

His lips returned, doing only what garnered the strongest reactions from you. And you were tumbling back down the hill again.

Of course he stopped, again.

You needed more than a second to recover from that one. What was it? Five rounds of the same torture. Your body was sure to be feeling the effects of it. Your cunt continued to twitch around nothing after his fingers were unceremoniously pulled out.

You lay there, unable to do anything but watch him clean off his fingers with his mouth. And it was hot because he didn't necessarily make a show of it. Ever the practical man, he probably only used his mouth because it was the easiest, cleanest solution. But you'd never seen anything so salacious and wrong.

Well, you concede, perhaps its not wrong, just something you, again, wouldn't thought of doing. It made your hips wriggle involuntarily and your cunt clench around nothing again, missing his fingers stretching and making you feel a little closer to whole.

Roose made quick work, ridding himself of his breeches and shirt.

You barely had enough time to appreciate the defined lines of his body, toned, even at his age because he stayed active.

He's undeniably handsome. If he wasn't so evil you'd have jumped at the chance of marrying him. Even now, staring at him, the man in control of your pleasure, you wondered if being married to him would even be so bad.

And his cock... You glanced at it, then trained your eyes back on his icy gaze. He cant see you staring down there, he'll get the wrong idea like he's winning or something. But the image was burnt into your mind. You could end your suffering now and beg him to put it inside you. You could.

But then your pride jumped in and told you to stop acting a fool.

He climbed up the bed, staying to one side of you, then wrapped his arm under you, kissing you briefly. Very briefly. So briefly that when he pulled away, you felt trained to chase after his lips, expecting more. The very accidental admittance of submission was not lost on either of you, an approving chuckle leaving him as he flipped your body on its tummy.

He crawled over you, snaking a hand under your stomach to pull you up and your entire backside felt his bare skin upon it. You bit your lip to stop yourself from whimpering at that feeling alone, again your cunt whined and begged you to just give in. Its right there, hard and pressing against your ass.

It was dizzying, the entire experience. You'd been denied so many times.

"Remember the rules," he murmured in your ear before taking a small bite and kissing down it. "Keep your thighs tight. Until you're ready to spread them like the good little slut you are." And with that, he used his free hand to slip his cock between your damp thighs.

You'd been so stripped of any and all resistance that the dominant emotion filling you was pride at his praise, calling you a good little slut. Something so debasing shouldn't stir you this much.

You were shocked at the warmth, initially scared that he was trying to slip it inside your cunt without you noticing, but Roose stayed true to his word. He wasn't going to put it in unless you asked, unless got to the point of wanting to beg him to. That didn't mean he couldn't put it right next to the entrance to tempt you.

It took him all but two seconds to begin slowly thrusting into the crack of your thighs and you wondered if it was supposed to feel like anything for you because it felt really amazing.

It wasn't as intense as his lips on your cunt but it was more tempting. The head of his cock, when his hips would slap against your ass, would grind deliciously over your clit. You whimpered each time it happened. It was all so wet and warm down there, his cock doing nothing but spreading the mess between your thighs.

His hand came around you to grab your neck, pulling you up so that he could fuck your thighs, using you as leverage. Your cunt pulsed with desire again, wishing he'd angle his hips incorrectly on accident and it'd just slip inside.

Please just slip inside. Please, please. Please slip in.

"Fuck, Roose, It... Its so... please," You said without even thinking

A dark chuckle vibrated right next to your ear. He chewed your lobe and kissed the top of your jaw. "Tell me."

"I... mmm nothing, nothing. I..." You growled frustratedly, burrying your face in the pillow.

Tears pricked your eyes.

The frustration was really getting to you.

Five times denied.

Your hips met him, rolling back to make his thrusts easier and he growled, landing a firm smack to your buttock. You cried out into the pillow.

Having had enough of your muffled cries, Roose pulled you up, situating your neck in the crook of his arm and he hoisted you up to your knees, cock still pumping drenched between your thighs.

It was pure debauchery. Unadulterated debauchery. You felt dirty and you couldn't even bother to be embarrassed by it. You just wanted him to have an accident and slip in. But you knew Roose. You knew he was too careful.

You had to give in first.

Your heart sank, realizing this could go on for so much longer. If he really wanted to, he could release right now, between your thighs and toy with your body mercilessly until he's ready to try with his cock again. He could go on for much much longer than you could ever dream of.

Especially in this position, it was difficult not to imagine him spearing you, your walls clenching and welcoming him instead of your thighs.

Gods, the way he was just using your body. Any part of your body. You were dizzy with pleasure and longing.

“Roose just do it, you win. Fuck me, please,” You spoke through sobs. Frustrated tears trickled down your cheeks.

Roose slowed his movements but that only made your wanting worse. Your thighs literally quivered for him. He took one look at the tear streaks on your face, not having noticed the fact that you were fucking crying for his cock, since your face had just been buried in the pillows a second ago. Roose's heart nearly had a tender little lapse, but it instead, swelled his pride to see you so desperate.

He wiped your tears away with his free hand and kissed your cheek. He wasn't completely done toying with you. He had to make sure you understood what it meant to be fucked by him. Truly understood. “And take my lady’s maidenhead? Will any respectable man take you to be his bride then?”

Your heart sank deeper than it ever had, real dread filling you. You finally understood his play here.

“Of course, as an honorable man, It’d be my duty to inform them of your compromised purity. Tell them this little whore's been tainted.”

He'd riled you up this far. You thought naively that he simply wanted you to admit defeat that you desired him as much as he desired you before taking you passionately.

In reality he wasn't going to let you go even after you gave in. The second another lord comes along for your hand in marriage, Bolton will reveal this little tryst you've had.

This was his goal since the beginning.

Marriage to you has been his goal since the very beginning of this little parlay.

You whined, stomach twisting because your dignity has become a whispered scream within you, telling you not to give in. But your psychology, your biology, everything else was screaming for him. He wanted not just to fuck you but to own you.

Your thighs tightened and you grinded against his long shaft. Still in the weakest attempt to remain stubborn, you stuttered, “Just… only a little, my lord. Only the top part. If you must. But please dont put it all in. Not far enough to break the… m-my maidenhead.”

That was the moment both of you knew you lost. You'd say it was stubbornness. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe you just liked feeling helpless under him, knowing what was inevitable.

Roose reached down, the strain that his smirk had on his cheeks being felt against yours. You're happy he's happy. Truly, you are. It twists your stomach again. You think if your stomach twists again you'll just melt into Roose Bolton. Completely at his mercy.

You whimpered as he used his hand to guide his cock to your entrance and pushed in, only far enough for the tip. Breathy moans tumbled out of you, all effort to hide them completely foregone. You threw your head back against his chest, eyes closed, enjoying the teasing feeling of just his cockhead stretching you.

He alternated between faster pumps and slow ones where you could feel his tip just barely broaching your entrance before pulling away again. He liked to feel your cunt try to suck him into you. Could you get any wetter? Any more ready to take him?

You tried to cheat, you'll admit it. Bucking your hips back, but he always managed to follow your movements, not giving you a single bit more than what you asked for. Tears pricked your eyes again but your heart soared from it. You're at his mercy completely.

“Whats wrong, my lady, you seem distressed.” He wiped a tear away from the corner of your eye, threatening to fall. And the way you whined at that moment, so frustratedly, almost like you hated him, like you might kill him if you had the chance... it actually managed to crack Roose’s composure and he laughed a good hearty laugh from the bottom of his chest.

Still smiling, he tilted his head, giving a condescending hum of mock sympathy.

Roose took your chin in his hand so he can get a good look at you as he continued to tease the tip of his cock in and out of you. Your big eyes looking up at him and begging, begging. He would love to give in but you have to say it.

“I am but your loyal and humble servant. I only do what is bid of me.”

“Fuck me,” You crack, the words coming out not as intelligible words but as part of your moans.

He hummed a deep and clear “Hm?” Pretending he didnt hear but he did. You know he did.

“Please, fuck me.”

“And...”

“Please fuck me and marry me," You forced out, you cringed at the way your voice sounded, so whiny you would have thought it to be annoying and too high pitched. But it deepend the clouds of lust behind your lord's eyes. It made you keep going "Please, my lord, take me as your bride. Fuck me and then save my honor from ruin.”

Your eyes fluttered close, shutting tightly. You expected more taunting from him, anything, but you forced your eyes back to him when you felt his hot breath on your cheek, then his nose ghosting over as well. He pushed his cock in a little past the tip and you whimpered, grateful, melting into him. Your stomach twisted again. Your legs were so so so weak.

Roose tilted his head, leaning in closer and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. When he parted, you blinked, looking up into his striking blue eyes and you whimpered again because he thrusted back in, deeper, only slightly, but he met the little barrier within you and you braced yourself for the striking blow.

He captured your lips more roughly this time as he pushed through, claiming you as his. Your soft squeaks of pain and pleasure getting lost in his mouth. Roose pumped his cock in and out, slowly, waiting for you to stop tensing.

When your ass twitched upward against him, he took that as the permission. Your lips disconnected from each other, both of you left gasping. You stopped trying to hide your pleasure long ago.

Your husband to be let go of you, letting you fall down back to the bed and you caught yourself on your elbows. He grabbed your hips, using your body mercilessly as you damn near sobbed from pleasure.

The view of you bent over for him, the side of your face pressed into the sheet and submissively crying out for him was almost too much. Roose braced himself to last longer but it seemed you were also tumbling embarrassingly quickly to your release after having been denied the pleasure five times over.

"Perhaps tonight," Roose paused to grunt and in his deep, baritone, it was just too good, you whined in response, "Tonight, I will put our first baby in you. A bastard, but no one else but you and I will be privy to that technicality."

"Yes," You shook beneath him, pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. And as your cunt tightened around him, Roose knew you were close.

"Beg," was the one worded command, and having learned your lesson, you obeyed nearly immediately.

"Please, let me release. Please, let me carry a son for you, husband. Whatever you need from me, please."

Roose could not deny such sweet words, he came inside you with a few purposeful jerks of his hips and you shuddered for it, the pleasure feeling as if it could blind you if you were even the slightest bit more wound up than you were in this moment. You were unaware of the fact that your pussy, having a mind of its own, continued to pulse, milking Roose Bolton for everything he had to offer.

The sizable load immediately spilled out onto the sheets after your intended slipped out of you. You laid there afterward, with your ass up, desperately attempting to recollect yourself as quick as possible.

You moved to get up but Roose landed a firm but not too painful smack on your ass. It wasn't too hard but in your state, it succeeded in knocking you back down to your hands with how weak your legs were.

"That's for striking me earlier," He said, icily, then he handed you a cup of water, waiting for you to take it before he started to wipe away at the mess he'd left between your legs with a spare rag of his.

The act was more tender than you'd have expected from Roose, especially when he pressed a small, short kiss to your buttock and gave it another playful smack.

"Stubborn little wife."

That brought a pleasant little heat to your cheeks.

[poughkeepsies]

just rewatched the entire cruise ship arc with my mom so here's my takeaways

I missed so much the first time cause I was liveblogging these episodes deserve to be watched with full attention and all together

yeah the entire arc but ESPECIALLY 703 is legitimately phenomenal television I can't remember the last time I watched a cable show and felt genuinely impressed like this it truly rivaled the tsunami arc

I don't know what's in the ABC water but the humor in season 7 has been landing every single time these episodes were SO fucking funny without undermining the intensity of the scenes chef's kiss

my mom loved it so much we weren't even 2/3 of the way through 703 and she was asking me to rewatch these episodes again in a few days

[syraxesrevenge]

i don't usually get involved with team stuff but mini rant (im low-key losing my fucking mind)

I don't understand people who are Team Green, and not because of their opinions on the characters. I find Team Green as some of the most complex, interesting characters in the whole lot of asoiaf.

1: First of all, the treatment of the strong boys. They act like Jace and Luke are absolute monsters; which, I don't necessarily agree with, but without bias I do agree they are not pure and cherubic angels. Lucerys is impulsive and childish, making jokes about actual trauma and maiming a ten year old who was influenced by his older brother. Jacaerys has extreme anger issues which lead to him acting arrogantly and stubbornly to the respite of his elders.

This does not mean they are *demons*, though, and do not deserve to be treated as such. I've seen people say that they were horrible for not showing a horrified reaction to Vaemond's death, that they should've felt remorse; what choice was for them to make? Lucerys was openly against the thing, wishing his own birthright upon the person who tried to usurp him; Jacaerys heard only the words "whore" and "bastards", which set him off. I do not blame him for this in the slightest; those words have been used his entire life to demonize him, villainize him and his mother.

Other people say Rhaenyra was terrible for making her sons believe they were real Targaryens, not admitting they were bastards and trying to persuade them from the throne. This take is just - abhorrent, imo. Jacaerys was taught by his grandsire, his mother, his father that he was going to inherit the throne just like his mother would before him. Lucerys and him obviously knew they were bastards - it is hard to ignore when everyone looks at you in the street, points you out, suggests you are not what you say. Jacaerys also spent his entire life, especially in the Dance, trying to prove himself a worthy heir. His traits of being well-studied and righteous were given to Aemond, because there would be no debate on who to choose if not.

"Team Green writers should've written the show! They're making the Blacks too sympathetic!"

The blacks are supposed to be the sympathetic ones. They are the tragedy of the war; the close-knit family that, in their pursuit to stay together, were torn apart and murdered by themselves. Joffrey died alone. Lucerys died alone. Jacaerys died alone. Daemon died alone. Rhaenyra was the only one who died with her son. They were the epitome of a caring, loving family - and what did that get them? Their reluctance to be ruthless resulted in the cold murder of a child. Lucerys was 13 in the book - 14/15 in the show. His death should be as hard hitting and as sympathetic as Jaehaerys, but somehow, it is not. To make a joke about Vhagar ripping Arrax to pieces is funny, to make a joke about Blood and Cheese is horrible. The double standard is just *baffling* to me.

Another thing - most of TG loves Jon Snow. They think that Daenerys was mad, that she deserved to die, that she was evil. By this precedent, if you can accept a legitimized bastard on the throne in the form of Jon, why is it *so hard* to picture Jacaerys on the throne?

"They have no personality!"

They had absolutely no screentime. The writers gave a scene to a fucking *foot fetish*, and they could not give us a scene of Lucerys, Jacaerys, or Joffrey. Especially when Lucerys was going to die in that season - he had a total of 23 minutes of screentime, and near 6 minutes of lines. That is not even half of an episode worth - especially for him to just be sitting in the background. And the times when he is talking? He is made to be the most unsympathetic character, ever. Laughing at Aemond, attacking Aemond - he is used mainly as a plot device, and it's sad, because I truly believe he deserved better than that, bc Elliot Grihault is a great actor :D

might make a part 2 if this idiot in a discord RP keeps insisting tg is righteous and perfect and amazing and MY fav characters suck ass

[etrosgate]

persona 4 adaptations ranked

i've now seen every iteration of p4. see my shitty opinions on them. loosely ordered by worst to best (we're just talking about the main narrative here):

Persona 4 the Golden Animation

literally just a cutscene compilation of the new scenes added to golden, and the only through-line to latch onto is marie's social link+general presence, to the point that the show feels like a Really incompetently produced romance series. total dogshit. it only merits existing at all for the two adachi episodes (6+7) being genuinely fantastic

Persona 4 Golden

the additional content tanks the pacing of this game so bad it becomes unbearable. marie's stuff is fine in isolation but the base game already had an issue with too many fake out endings, adding another one (in addition to the bloat of 1 million mediocre hangout scenes) makes things drag so badly that by the end i was begging for it to be over. there's some good things in there, but imo you'd be better off playing vanilla p4 and just looking up adachi's social link on youtube

Persona 4 the Animation

it competently covers the main story, to the point where you can totally enjoy it as a standalone thing. in its favor, they made some things way better (yukiko's dungeon was sooooo good, and it made me an actual teddie fan). to its detriment, it made some things way worse (kanji's dungeon and the camping trip were so fucking bad, oh my god). they tried to give the protag a more defined character but the execution was pretty inconsistent (imo). it's also very ugly to look at.

Persona 4 (original)

it's persona 4. but it looks better aesthetically and doesn't overstay its welcome like golden. you truly don't realize how bad p4g's pacing harms the experience until you've gone through vanilla p4 and don't feel like you've been wrung dry by the time the end credits roll.

Persona 4 (the manga)

this is the best version, hands down. it largely covers just the vanilla p4 plot, BUT adds adachi's social link in there, AND has a lot of the golden anime's adachi stuff! but the best thing is how the protagonist has been fleshed out into a compelling character, and it's integrated into the rest of the narrative really well.

also i think the comedic timing is really great, this is the only version where i've actually found some of these sequences funny (i legitimately laughed out loud at yu's reaction to eating chie+yukiko's evil curry). its flaws are generally just pre-existing p4 flaws, while it also has Many improvements. if i had to tell you to experience one version of p4, it would be this one.

[callmearcturus]

aw yeah lets do this

S-Tier, AKA the Legitimately Good Tier:

HAWKEYE: Maybe my favorite MCU thing I have ever watched.

+ If you let Jeremy Renner actually act and give him a script, he's fucking great. + Kate Bishop is a perfect mess and I love her, I love she's young and excitable but also takes things seriously, she feels like she's a work in progress, I love her. + MAYA. Holy shit the gravity well of this character, how her presence dictates any scene she is in. Truly stellar. + This entire miniseries is like an extended apology for Hawkeye in every other appearance. "Sorry we dropped the ball with this character so consistently, we will bring the A game here." + The importance of disability. I'm among the ppl who was upset that Hawkeye's disability was dropped, so the way it is centered over and over and over in this, how its practical, how it's funny, how it's sad, how it gives us the most devastatingly emotional scene in all of the MCU yes I am talking about the phone call scene, finally. Fucking finally. + Florence fucking Pugh and her entire charm offensive. + The car chase scene.

- The first episode is unfortunately REALLY slow. - Nah that's all I got. I love this one.

THOR: RAGNAROK

+ "Asgard isn't a place, it's a people" is maybe the most poignant message any MCU film has ever managed. + Literally the funniest movie, but also basically a repair job of character building for everyone in it. + The camerawork in this one makes me so happy. + Tom Hiddleston is given so much to do and he's there with heels on, spectacular. + The giant turret/pegging visual pun, god bless. + Cate Blanchett can kill me.

- uuuuuuuuh. It's not as good as Hawkeye. Yeah.

GOTG Vol 2

+ Sorry but I am a GOTG Truther, I really do think its the one storyline in the MCU that is allowed to get away with really fucking intense character drama because it's not considered "main line." There is a reason ppl rioted when they tried to remove Gunn, and I'm with them. + The only good thing Chris Pratt has done since Parks and Rec. + The way this storyline centers on death and grief is devastating. + Rocket Racoon is the best character in the MCU and we all know it.

- I think the initial treatment of Mantis is REALLY rough even though in the end I think it works, but that's a hell of a hump to get over.

A-TIER, AKA the Great for a MCU Flick Tier:

BLACK PANTHER

+ My biggest problem with the MCU is the creative desert of its set and costume design, the way it feels like nothing is given time to breathe in the creative process. BP is the antithesis of that. I would watch a four hour documentary just on the visual design of this movie, from the architecture to the costumes to the make-up, everything. I don't want to hear from the director or writers, I want to hear four hours of just the craftspeople talking about their work. It's monumental. + Best Villain in the MCU, bar none. + Only MCU film to move me to actual tears in the movie theatre.

- I loved this movie! For the life of me I could not tell you the plot. I understand the plot of every Mission Impossible film but I don't know the plot of this movie. - If this movie was allowed to cut, like, 20 minutes of action and replace it with more character drama, it'd be the best MCU film.

IRON MAN 3

+ The MCU Movie That Pulls Exactly Zero Punches About Being About Mental Health And PTSD Holy Shit + Rhodey and Pepper get so much to do and I like an ensemble piece so much + Shane Black is in love with RDJ and I'm so happy for him + Pepper gets to be a lil monsterfied and that's hot

- Doesn't have Sam Rockwell. - The plot is kinda fully secondary to the character work, which imo is fine, but yanno.

GOTG Vol 1

+ All the stuff I said about GOTG Vol 1

- It's not Vol 2, which benefits from having all the bedrock foundation built by this movie to spring from.

B-TIER, AKA It's Fine I Guess:

IRON MAN 1

It's good! It invented the wheel! Part of it are fucking agonizingly painful to watch in 2023 but it also has more heart than 80% of the franchise so.

IN A CAVE. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS.

LOKI

Okay it feels shitty of me to judge this one on its technical faults bc apparently it was shot during the pandemic and that causes a lot of the issues with the camerawork, the awkward editing, and just how Weird everything was put together. But also it's REALLY stilted and awkward, which butts up against the good script and the better acting, so IDK man.

Owen Wilson is amazing. Even my mother thought the way they canonized Loki being bi was a cop-out. And the final twist pissed me off. I hope Season 2 is better.

THOR 1

I DUNNO WHAT TO TELL YOU, BUT KENNETH BRANAGH UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT.

DR STRANGE AND THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS

This movie is a mess but once i figured out it was trying to be The MCU Does Gothic Horror, I was a lot more on board. It has all the flaws of the original Dr Strange and is hard to visually follow like most MCU films, but also has America Chavez, who I adore.

IRON MAN 2

It has Sam Rockwell, I don't give a fuck.

C-TIER, AKA I wish I cared but I do not 8C

DR STRANGE

I dunno I like the actual character of Strange weirdly, I like what a complete fucking asshole he is, I like his god complex and how he reacts to his disability as a surgeon. On the other hand what the fuck is Tilda Swinton doing here, this is just awful. My biggest issue with this film is that it didn't have to be this terrible but every decision made about it feels so fucking thoughtless and myopic.

WANDAVISION

yanno. i cannot even explain why i fell off this so hard. Like, this one Had Me all the way up to and including the Agatha reveal, but like the final episodes after that reveal somehow left me completely cold and uncaring. it's genuinely weird.

D-TIER, AKA Oh my god no thank you

AVENGERS

I hate the writing. Like, I haaaaate the writing. I feel like the only likeable relationship in this is Tony and Bruce, and that does not carry this movie. The quip-driven writing, the way the need for a joke supercedes naturalistic voices and dialogue making sense, it pisses me off. I hate the writing. Heartless movie.

BLACK WIDOW

oh my god i'm actively angry at this movie okay because for the first 20 minutes, I was like "wait, is this going to be a real movie," because it felt smaller, the action felt more realistic, that fight between the Widow and Yelena in the beginning felt like it could have been out of MI: Fallout, and the other fight between Natasha and Yelena in the safehouse was also good, I really thought for a few moments that this could be Good

and then it just took a hard right into The MCU Tries And Fails To Make MI: Fallout (They Even Stole The Mask Gag, What The Fuck Was That) and not only was I disappointed, I was like retroactively pissed for the 20 minutes when I had hope in my heart. If not for David Harbour's character, I would have just left in the middle of this movie.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

Its not at bad as Infinity War! Nebula and Rocket carried this movie on their fucking backs. But what do I know, I liked Renner's mohawk of sadness.

F-Tier, AKA Fuck This Movie

INFINITY WAR

Fuck this movie with a rusted steel dildo, fuck this entire fucking movie, I despise it. The writing is so actively fucking terrible I want to fistfight whoever is responsible. I fucking hate the attempts to humanize Thanos over how sad he is about the daughter he abused and then murdered, boo fucking hoo, I hate the joylessness of the superhero combinations, I hate the quip-driven writing, I hate this movie with a burning passion. This might be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Soulless and destitute.

[rjalker]

"https://www.tor.com/2023/11/25/doctor-who-celebrates-60th-anniversary-by-reuniting-one-of-its-greatest-teams-in-the-star-beast"

I've left this as a comment on the site, but, you know, they might just not publish it so here you fucking go.

= = =

I'm sorry but it's very ironic that this review brings up the Doctor asking for the Meep's pronouns and respecting those pronouns, only for this review to misgender the Meep by refering to the Meep as "it". The Meep explicitly uses nameself pronouns -- ie, the Meep/the Meep's. The Meep doesn't use it/its pronouns. I see so many people celebrating that this episode is "making TERFs mad", but then in the same breath they misgender the character whose pronouns we are explicitly told.

The Meep is not an it, he, she, or they. The Meep is always "The Meep", as is demonstrated in the episode. But I guess people only care about neopronoun users when our existence will make TERFs mad, but not when it comes to actually using our pronouns! I wish I could say I'm surprised, but by this point the Doctor Who fandom has proven to me they don't actually respect neopronoun users, they just hold us up to scare away TERFs, immediately followed by misgendering us -.-

As many people have pointed out, Rose being trans *because* of the metacrisis is just the "nonbinary alien" stereptype all over again, as a tripple whammy with the Meep also being the only character in this episode using neopronouns, and here's something I haven't seen anyone else point out--

If Rose were being written like a character who makes sense, why wouldn't she have just asked the Meep's pronouns when she first met the Meep? Why didn't she introduce herself to the Meep with her own pronouns? If she's the sort of person who corrects other when they assume someone's pronouns without asking...then if she were a real person not meant to set up a tired, transphobic joke ("Did you just assume my gender?!?"), then she would have literally just casually asked for the Meep's pronouns in the first place, instead of only randomly getting upset when the Doctor assumes he/him for the sole purpose of being corrected.

No parts of this scene was written in a way that makes sense for the characters as we're supposed to believe they exist. If we accept that Rose is willing to go to bat for other people about asking for pronouns instead of assuming, then she would have asked as soon as she met the Meep! She would have asked the Doctor! She'd be introducing herself to everyone she meets with her pronouns!

But no, that would mean that Russel T Davies didn't get to use the "Did you just assume my gender???" joke in 2023 while pretending to be progressive about it. And it very much is pretending to be progressive about it, because if he actually wanted to show that asking for pronouns is normal, he would have had Rose and the Meep introducing themselves with their pronouns in the first place!

Imagine if Rose had asked for the Doctor's pronouns! Imagine if we'd gotten to have a legitimate conversation about the Doctor's pronouns and gender identity outside passing jokes!  Imagine if the Doctor had been given the real opportunity to think about the answer and genuinely choose, rather than having everyone else assume based on whether they think the Doctor currently looks like a man or a woman! Imagine if we'd actually gotten to see the Doctor allowed to truly express a preference or even just saying "all pronouns are fine with me"!

But no. We get another iteration of the "trans people are unreasonable and get pissed off over things that don't matter" joke but this time...pretending to be progressive so now people aren't mad. Even though it makes no sense for any of the characters and is clearly only here because the cis man writing the episode thought it'd be funny.

And seriously, does Russel T Davies think all trans people are inherently nonbinary? Because there is a massive difference between purposefully creating representation for nonbinary trans women / transfeminine people, and assuming that all trans people, no matter their gender identity, are inherently nonbinary. And because Russel T Davies doesn't seem to understand the difference, he gives no explanation to the audience, which is made up of millions of cis people, for whom this is their first introduction to trans and nonbinary people! So now are they gonna think all trans women and trans men are inherently nonbinary? Are they gonna think all AMAB nonbinary people use she/her pronouns?

RTD has a responsibility to represent trans people in a responsible way, and this episode is just failing that. Rose is presented as being trans and nonbinary only because she's not fully human, as though being trans is something unnatural that happens to you rather than something you are.

And even if we ignore the rest of the problems with the way trans issues were handled in this episode, you know the thing that's causing the most lasting damage?

Russel T Davies teaching millions of people, cis and trans alike, that assigning other people "x-presenting" terminology is Progressive™ and Cool™ and Fun™ and Acceptable™. When trans people have been talking about how harmful assigning other people these terms is for years now.

It's literally just misgendering but masquerading as progressive, and placing the blame on the person being misgendered, rather than asking the perpetrator to check their own biases and learn not to assume people's genders or pronouns just based on appearance.

No one has ever asked the Doctor what pronouns to use, or what gender-terms, or anything. All everyone does is assume based on the gender of the actor who currently has the role. And that's not how gender works. And calling it "gender-fluidity" is just completely false. Gender fluid people aren't literal shapeshifters who magically change their sex when their gender shifts, and saying that the Doctor is inherently genderfluid because a woman had the role one time is just, plain biological essentialism and assuming that everyone who looks like a man is a man, and everyone who looks like a woman is a woman, and all aliens are magically cis to whatever their current society-assigned sex is.

Which is something trans people have also been talking about since Jodie Whittaker took the role. Just because the Doctor is being played by a man at the moment does not make the Doctor a man. That's just reinforcing cissexism and shoving trans people under the rug so you don't have to think about us anymore. Why do you think the Doctor has to be a man because David Tennant is in the role? Why do you think the Doctor has to be a woman because Jodie Whittaker had the role? It's because considering the idea that gender is separate from sex is uncomfortable for you, so you decide that the alien shapeshifter Must Always Be Cis To The Sex I Think They Are Right Now.

And I was hoping RTD would maybe address this when he came back as showrunner, but we've all seen where that's taken us now. So I guess we're just gonna keep playing this game of "everyone's always cis because I don't want to think about gender" for the next few years.

And no, the Doctor is not “male-presenting” just because David Tennant is in the role. That’s not what those terms mean, and it is absolutely negligent for Russel T Davies to have characters assigning these terms to other characters without permission, while portraying this as Progressive and positive and funny. It’s literally just misgendering. It’s not okay.

And again. Cannot stress enough how painfully ironic it is that this review is praising the show for respecting the Meep's pronouns while misgendering the Meep with it/its pronouns that the Meep explicitly does not use.

There's absolutely no excuse for misgendering the Meep after you praise the show for not doing that. Come on, people, please at least pretend you respect neopronoun users if you're gonna hold us up as anti-TERF shields -.-

I need absolutely everyone reading this comment, whether you’re cis, trans, nonbinary, or other, to swear on all you hold as holy that you will not ever call someone any “x-presenting” term unless you’ve explicitly been told by that person that that’s how they identify.

Do not call trans women who haven’t transitioned “male-presenting” or “masculine presenting”. Do not call trans men who haven’t transitioned “female-presenting” or “feminine-presenting”. Do not call gender nonconforming men “female-presenting” and do not call butch women “male-presenting”. Do not call nonbinary people any of these terms unless you’ve explicitly been asked to do so. “male-presenting” is not a synonym for “looks like a man” or “wears men’s clothes” or “assigned male at birth”, and vice versa for “female-presenting”.

These terms are strictly for self-identification only. Assigning them to other people is literally just misgendering. Do not do it.

[nyoomfruits]

YES baby au director’s commentary on the part where Julie calls Max ‘dad’ I was tearing up tbh

oh my god i'm SO glad you asked that's like one of my favorite scenes

i did some research (aka i scrolled all the way back in my chat with eby to when i first mentioned this fic idea to her) and this was legitimately one of the first things i mentioned wanting to include, and it truly speaks to how much i loved the idea of this scene that it actually ended up making it in because a lot of the early stuff gets left on the cutting room floor (case in point: i have a word document with all the deleted scenes that also has some scenes from max's pov because i did consider in the beginning to do it from his pov instead of charles's)

i also dont think much changed from how we originally imagined it?? eby pretty quickly came up with the neck/jaw grabbing thing (ALL the credit to her for that one) and the rest turned out pretty much how i had it in my head, which once again does't happen very often

(for example: the road trip scene with baby shark was never meant to exist, they were supposed to take the plane, until i got to that scene and realized they were going to monza which is only 4 hours by car so the car made much more sense and the rest is history lmao)

ALSO funny detail about charles's 'what if i'm just a bad dad' speech: originally i had that written (or a form of it at least) for the first time max came over, but that felt almost too intimate for where they were in that point in their relationship and i ended up replacing it with the whole 'fuck you you're good at everything' thing. the bad dad speech ended up in the deleted scenes word document though, and i ended up using a lot of that for this scene :)

alright one last thing about this scene and then i'll shut up about it (listen i wasn't kidding when i said it's one of my favorites): because i knew this was a scene that was going to happen from very early on, there's actually loads of little foreshadowing moments!! for example, max says 'your dad' A LOT (almost every time he speaks to julie. he never says charles, he always says 'your dad'), and my personal favorite, this part:

“Yeah, Julie bug,” Max says, laughter in his voice, “We’re going to hang out for a bit while your dad does some work.”

“Da!” Julie says decisively, and Charles takes that as his que to leave, moving back to his office.

it's the first time julie says 'da', it's right after max says 'your dad' and it's directed at max

no one probably caught that except for me but i had a lot of fun writing it into the fic so that's what counts i guess lmao

but yeah! the dad scene, in all its glory. i'm sorry it made you tear up though but i'm glad you liked it enough to ask me about it <3

[xiexiecaptain]

Shadow & Bone rewatch live-commenting that was started on twitter and is being moved/continued here!

This is the post for EP 03: The Making at the Heart of the World

[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

((There WILL be spoilers mentioned for the books in the Grishaverse including the Crows duology & King of Scars duology! This is basically from the perspective of watching the show as someone who knows the books well.))

--

I like that we're getting to hear her letters to Mal in voice over because it returns some of the interiority we've lost through the translation from 1st person narrative to screen 

bUT immediately my brain supplied the hilarious AU that Mal runs one of those Dear Abby advice columns

-

*sob laughs in Book 2*

--

GENYA!!! SHE'S HERE!

God I love Genya 

And the way Daisy Head carries herself here, the polished demeanor, all of it is so Genya

--

This was such a great moment between them 

And even though Genya had to do what she does later on, you can tell she's really earnest about how quickly she warms to Alina

--

THESE TWO BICKER LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND IM LIVING FOR IT

["Good to know Van Eck didn't cure you of sentiment."

"Glad to be back, Kaz."]

--

SHE'S HERE, THE GLORIOUS, THE INCOMPERABLE NINA ZENIK

--

Lmao right "despises" 

As in "the two people I'll fall in love with in my life will both be Fjerdans"

--

That fight scene !!!!!!!

What a fckin badass I absolutely adore Nina 

Everyone needs a Nina Zenik in their life tbh

--

This is the SECOND time I've noticed Jesper randomly helping himself to food/drink from other people's tables/houses and I fucking love it (he also did it in Dreesen’s basement)

Kit Young is a gift

--

Wraith mode: activated

--

The way his gaze lingers and he stays turned toward the window for a solid few seconds after she's gone-!!!

--

He tries to stop himself, he really does!!! 

Can we just appreciate in general the nuanced and compassionate, yet realistic way addiction is portrayed with Jesper's character???

(Not to mention the fact we see TWO portrayals of addiction in this series--psychological addiction with Jesper and physical addiction with Nina) 

Like, it's not a comic relief bit--it legitimately has life-altering consequences for both Jesper, all his loved ones, and those he works with. 

We see Jesper both deny to himself and others he has a Problem, yet also struggle against it 

["Why didn't you just stop?" Jesper wanted to laugh. He had pleaded with himself, screamed at himself to stop.]

He fucks up and hurts people he (and we the readers) love because of it. Yet the narrative remains continuous in its portrayal of Jesper as someone with steadfastly good intentions and a good heart who is struggling with unhealed issues

["There's a wound in you, and the tables, the dice, the cards--they feel like medicine. They soothe you, for a time. But they're poison, Jesper."] 

 Listen, I just have a lot of Feelings about Jesper Fahey

--

Alina Starkov is truly a woman of the people

--

SA mention////

"Ah, our shitty monarchs: The rapist king, the queen whose focus on appearance trumps any real issues, and the vapid entitled weasel of a prince. The only decent one among them, I've disguised so he could go play pirate to help Ravka by doing Ocean Crimes."

--

Yes, I hate him 

Yes, he is occasionally funny

--

Yeah this was fckin shitty of her and I’m definitely not excusing it ever

But its interesting seeing this understanding where it’s coming from re: Zoya’s heritage.

Zoya's got so much internalized racism and fear around being mixed race herself because of her upbringing, seeing how not only just her father was treated but Suli in general

She's lashing out because she's afraid and conflicted

And she's also feeling jealous and uncertain about her place being favored by the Darkling (which he has fostered because he's a manipulator of the worst kind)

--

Kaz carrying Milo the goat and looking absolutely Done will never not be funny to me

--

More show-added worldbuilding appreciation from me

The posters styled after Bolshevik revolution/soviet propaganda posters is such a wonderful touch by the props/set folks 

And again, the invented script for written Ravkan (and all the languages, but we’ve mostly just seen Ravkan and Kerch written so far) makes my linguist nerd heart sing

--

Kaz: initiate mastermind scanners for useful information and/or potential blackmail

Kaz: BEEP BEEP impending betrayal detected 

Kaz: initiate 5-D chess-level planning consisting of labyrinthine layers upon layers of traps, feints, and manipulation

--

I love that they gave her a physical object for Inej related to her family.

In the books (again, because of interiority) we get literal flashbacks of them, as well as many phrases from her parents she repeats or hears internally ("The heart is an arrow...", "Climb, Inej")

But that’s not easily translated to a visual medium. So instead we get this great little physical/visual token of that. 

It does such heavy lifting not only in that it shows us how deeply Inej's faith directs her morals (like how torn she was when Arken connected over their faith), but also shows how much she still holds the memory/hope of her family close to her; that she's never accepted that her life in Ketterdam was just it now.

 Good, good storytelling work

--

ARE YOU TALKING TO HER OR TO YOURSELF, KAZ?????? 

That little glance down and then away-!!!

And then immediately he's harsh and cruel about it to try and push her away from him--to push hIMSELF away from her!!! 

Fucking helllll

--

 I'm so glad they basically got to keep Nina's and Matthias' story the same (aside from minor details obv) down to exact lines 

Danielle Galligan and Calahan Skogman breathe such life into the cores of these characters and all their nuances

[Matthias had always fought his own decency. To become a drüskelle, he’d had to kill the good things inside him.]

 All through this episode, even in this first scene, you can see Nina's words start to scratch away at him

He's gonna have her in his head for the rest of the night

--

Jesper Fahey, everyone

--

LOVE THE WHOLE CONCEPT! 

Love this addition to the world, love how it's not finished/is kinda ramshackle with sliding between the two tracks, love the weird systems set up he's developed to cross multiple times with the sound of hitting the metal, love it all

--

I'm so happy Nadia is a black woman!!! 

We get so many queer characters of color! I can't wait until we get Tamar (and Tolya ofc) introduced in the show so we can have the badass wlw couple we deserve

--

BOTKIN!! So glad he makes an appearance!! 

I could so easily him being cut from another version of an adaption so this makes me so happy

Part of what endeared Botkin to me in the book was how, even though he is a harsh teacher, he always treated Alina like every other student and demanded her best work 

Like "idc you're the sun summoner, your right hook is pathetic!"

--

ALINA KNOWING HOW TO THROW A PROPER PUNCH BC MAL TAUGHT HER IS 🙏🙏🙏

--

Like I know this is supposed to establish character dynamics and how Zoya has this social position she's defending and how Alina is gaining credibility 

But me & my gay-ass brain just went like "Ok but I would let Zoya punch me in the face and I would say THANK YOU"

--

If only I were so lucky 😔💦

Somewhere, King of Scars!Nikolai getting shackled to his bed by Zoya every night for his own safety just liked this^^^ as a tweet

--

See, Nadia gets me 

She's pickin' up what I'm puttin' down

This also establishes Nadia’s type is women who can knock your lights out and smirk, which is good news for future Tamar

--

And we here see in Alina's face the echoed experiences of women, femmes, and assumed-women everywhere having forced unwanted interactions with creepy dudes

--

Zoë Wanamaker is soooooo good as Baghra, hot damn 

A fellow Zoë out there making us proud

Another character I can’t wait to see interact with Nikolai on screen because their relationship is hilarious to me

--

I've mentioned it before, but the show more heavily leaning into the idea that Grisha power can sort of be drawn out or kicked on by sudden pain and/or fear is such an interesting one

Because it implies about the nature of Grisha power that it developed similar to other unconscious survival mechanisms--like adrenaline numbs out bad injuries or allows muscles to surpass normal limits, its something that helps keep Grisha stay alive in a life or death situation

--

"I WISH I WERE WITH Y- ...WITH THE FIRST ARMY" 

I'M-!!!!!

--

SEE? THIS IS THE SHIT I LOVE 

The worldbuilding always contains all these tiny details that realistically reflect how humans build clever systems over time to address issues and get what/where they want to

--

Alina's fuckign face-

--

I CANT GET OVER THIS 

Yes, the emotional support goat was Absolutely Mission Critical

--

I'M FUCKIN EMOTIONAL BC I just noticed when Arken says the situation is dire, please take note of how Kaz isn't even looking at him, he's staring diRECTLY AT INEJ sitting across from him?????

--

[That sound--the swift, shocking report of gunfire--called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.]

[...Jesper could feel himself coming alive, the worry that had been dogging his steps ... falling away. He felt free, dangerous, like lightning rolling over the prairie.]

[He'd knew his guns better than he knew the rules of Makker's Wheel. Jesper focused on the bullet, sensed the smallest parts of it. Maybe he was the same. A bullet in a chamber, spending his whole life waiting for the moment he would have direction.]

--

So I just want to examine the Crows' "we were pretty sure we were going to die but we actually pulled through and are somehow still alive???" reactions for a minute:

1) Inej, ofc, her first reaction is prayer which makes me emotional 

And then, she looks over at Kaz because she wants to see if this finally shook something loose from that cold exterior (because tbh, at this point, it's probably the first time she's ever witnessed Kaz escape death first-hand)

2)  How fucking beautiful Jesper looks?? 😍😍

[Jesper's hair was mussed, his pupils dilated. He seemed almost drunk, or like he’d just rolled out of someone’s bed. He always had that look after a fight.]

3) And Kaz, of course as always, is looking at Inej (and then looking away from it all) 

It's gonna get you in big trouble one day, Kaz

AND how Inej and Kaz hold eye contact for a moment before they both look away???

--

And I feel Malina in this chili's tonight

--

Oh! Something I forgot to add I noticed during the train fight scene, Arken has these depictions of saints hung up on the walls!!!! 

Again, major major ups to the prop/set people for adding all these small details!! It makes the world feel so full and lived in!

--

So that's the end of episode 3! 

Wheee I fuckin' love the Grishaverse and my beloved Crows and we're so lucky to have this cast

[Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

[agustdiv1ne]

i dont wanna reblog on this acc for reasons, but i just finished telepathy (got off track so many times im sorry) and its literally the best thing i have ever read in my entire life. like istg there were a few moments when i laughed out loud (taehyuns "thats nepotism" caught me so off guard i giggled) (there was another moment at the beginning i don't remember the line) and i genuinely laughed when he first found out what she listens too 😭 i think this fic is the most relatable to me, tbh, bc like if you saw me in the street, i look like an innocent chubby girl, not someone who writes hybrid smut about people on the internet 💀 like im totally the type to get off to someone i saw randomly somewhere (ive done it before)

AND THE SCENE WITH HIM JACKING OFF>??????? like i was reading with a straight face until the fUCKING BUTTON UP???? LIKE ITS THE LITTLE DETAILS THAT COUNT ISTG (mental reminder for when i write later)

i already knew what was gonna happen as soon as i read pseudo-fingering in the warnings last night, but reading it was a whole fucking other story, i swear to fucking god. i've become kind of immune to reading smut in my experienced age (😭), so it's rare for me to find a fic that gives, like, ALL the tingles (iykyk)

and this one gave so much more than that- like if i was home alone right now, this would be jackoff material, i am not kidding you. like the pretty girl thing was already a little sjkhbdehdfb to me, and then just the whole "dont make it obvious" was so sjkdhbshjdi

AND THEN THE FUCKING SCENE???? LIKE IM SORRY I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT AT ALL and like, im sorry gyu but if this ever happened to me i would not be able to stay quiet at all. like legitimately i'd be crying.

i was just WAITING for that ending if im being honest, like i LIVE for stuff like this where its so nonchalant at the beginning like "are you alright? 🥺" and i was just waiting for her to recognize his voice ACK and then the "pretty girl" GOT ME LIKE IF THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND IT WAS SOMEONE SO FUCKING ATTRACTIVE ID FAINT

here's my actual reaction to that last line (the middle is cut off because i had my hand over my mouth going "oh my god oh my god") (and dw im okay that squeak was a laugh)

ADA I LOVE U.

mannn what if i cry. then what. genuinely that is such an honor :'))) no bc same, like u would never guess what i do on this hellsite j from what i look like LMAO

SCREECHES i loveee adding little details to my scenes (it's also why my fics are becoming obscenely long,, sorry everyone, idk what happened to the 7-8k projection,,,,), idk why but writing that had my heaving trying to hold myself together...yeah

pseudo-fingering LOL i truly still don't know how else to describe it...my guy was mind fucking her fr,,, can't believe i actually broke ur immunity for a hot second that's so funny to me

HGKDJL i was projecting heavily in this one i'm ngl 🤣🤣 like exhibitionism is kinda,,, yeah. Yeah. i also dream abt being called pretty girl one day 🤣 manifesting it rn actually

HAHAHA no bc same, i wouldn't be able to keep it together i'd writhing and crying and disintegrating LMFAO,, mc was so strong ngl i wish i could be like her.........but alas, i am Weak

UR REACTION I'M FUCKING DYINGGG,, but that was what i was going for so i'm glad it worked 😁 THANK U FOR READING!!! AND SENDING ME AMAZING FEEDBACK ILY ADA PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF <3333333

[longer-than-i-should-admit]

Taash calls Emmrich a skull-fucker??? *wheezing*

The way I laughed so hard. I was not expecting those two of all people to squabble. Emmrich my darling you are beefing with someone twice your size and like a third your age😂😂😂taash is so funny oml

Hoo boy! Got quite a bit done today!

I did Weisshaupt and! Oh! My god! They hydra? The fucking arch hydra? My heart was pounding so hard the whole time I could hear it over my headphones lol

Ghilan’nain still moves like a theatre villain but honestly? If she didn’t I think I’d genuinely be so terrified of her. Like imagining her moving more like a snake. *shudders* this gives her a little levity, as horrifying of a character as she is

Did a couple of missions around, hossburg and arlathan. Bellara’s brother miraculously survived and was tricked by Anaris, huh? I bet that’s totally going to turn out fine and not tragically at all. Uh-huh. Nope. Also the Gloom Howler? The hell? She isn’t the mage that preserved the griffon eggs is she? Bc she reminds me of the architect and corypheus a little but almost looks elvhen? All I know is that I am Afraid for Assan’s siblings. Please be okay lil guys🥺

Beat the demon dragon in Nevarra! Boy howdy! Terrifying! But I’m steadily gaining levels and I hope to try the Heart of Corruption boss again around 45, but I’m just now 38ish so it’ll probably be a while.

I set up to do lucanis’ mission next. I am Terrified to talk to Solas bc I don’t want anything to irreparably progress too far again. I have been checking the blocked off areas religiously. (I need to do more Docktown stuff as I got a couple more missions, but I can’t like it. Idk why, just way too crowded. Reminds me of Denerim tbh)

I want don’t know what’s next as far as plot points; I know the MO is to get my companions’ quests together since they were “distracted” in Weisshaupt (poor Lucanis, he was so bummed out—and Davrin’s scene after broke my heart, you still have a purpose baby, don’t worry), but I’m assuming we’ll start working towards freeing him next…? Setting a trap for him apparently? Idk man, I’m trying to get my faction strengths up bc that Scares Me. And it’s annoying me to have to wait for certain areas to unlock bc I want to explore it all already lol

My Caretaker’s rank is at level 9 now, which I’m proud of☺️got my gear all enchanted! I love the Character—truly one of the spirits of all time, right alongside Coke for me tbh. I just wish we could talk more, have a legitimate conversation. I found the other room in the Lighthouse where Solas wrote about the anchor, so that’s 100%ed. I’m hoping the last couple of chests are in the Corruption corridor bc it’s bothering me not to know where they are since I have the other islands covered (as far as I know unless there’s one more I haven’t been to yet).

But yeah! Big day! I should have been doing homework but my brain wouldn’t cooperate with me🥲I’ll have to buckle down and do it tomorrow bc I have plans Sunday. On nydha, lethal’len!😘

Thirteen (point six) hours in now that it’s finally downloaded…I tired…I’ve been up since seven am lol, it’s so much better than I expected!🥰

I’ll post better images once I figure out where in the hell my screenshot folder is but my baby Fenalan turned out so so gorgeous oml🥹

Spoilers mentioned under the cut:

I’m so glad Varric is okay. He gave Fenalan a little pep talk when she cracked under the pressure a bit so she’s doing her best to hold it together for the team. She left the mayor bc he’s a shithead and she’s generally been rather purple-coded, as I thought.

She has also given Solas a hard time at first, as planned. I wasn’t expecting him to clap back like he did in that second scene lol, but now that Varric has given her more insight into Solas’ personality she’ll be more cooperative going forward (while still being a lil shit of course).

God I know I’m waiting to romance Lucanis for Khalida but I understand why people are so I love with him. He went grocery shopping for them🥹and the delight in his voice when Fenalan got him the wyvern tooth dagger? Oh my lanta, my heart. And the fact that he noted her favorite drink being tea? That slew me on the spot. By god I am going to smooch you so hard next time. Get ready for it. (Rn he and Neve are flirting up a storm and it’s so damn cute I want to die.)

Honestly all the companion missions so far have been so sincere and sweet. I can’t wait to see more! I’m starting to get all the little side missions branching out so I’m trying not to get overwhelmed with them all by taking them one at a time. I think I’ll tackle more of arlathan forest first thing tomorrow.

I unlocked the memory where Solas fights Elgar’nan, so is the elf who was with him Felassan? I’m assuming it’s Felassan. And if that’s Felassan I am going to cry bc he seems so nice and outgoing.

Also who summoned the fish in the Lighthouse? (I think it was Felassan lol, he seems like an agent of chaos. The “you summoned them, you’ll have to feed them” line took me out.)

I’m mentally cataloguing all the little differences I’ll be making with Khalida, who is more of the soft-spoken, shy, diplomatic type. Her favorite drink will be the “something sweeter” option, she’ll have supported Varric’s plan, and she’ll be more open to Solas’ input off the bat once she gets over her initial fright of him. She’s such a sweet little thing and Lucanis is going to be an utter disaster with her since she’s a bit oblivious lol

God idk if I’m going to be able to sleep after all this but hey, here’s to trying lol

On nydha, lethal’len!🥰

[danielmaslany]

Daniel Maslany as Detective Watts in Murdoch Mysteries 13x17 - Things Left Behind

[mermaidsirennikita]

Do you have any darker romances or erotic romances to recommend?

So at this point in time, I wouldn't say I read a fuckton of truly "dark romance" (the subgenre) just because a lot of it is contemporary and I read historical romance primarily. I will say that I've seen several romance commentators make the point that a lot of dark romance readers like historical because there tends to be more room for wilder plots, "everyday darkness", dubcon, etc, and I think that does like... fit. Because idk, I don't have a lot of time for super fluffy romances in general--I need drama. It can be funny, but funny with DRAMA.

Buuut a of the truly erotic romances and dark romances are gonna lean more contemporary at this time. For true blue erotic romance I'd recommend:

Priest by Sierra Simone--It's a Catholic priest romance, and it is very hot and honestly pretty dark in terms of the leads' backstories and the hero's struggles with faith. Basically, this woman starts going to confession and turning him on with all her dirty secrets, and then they fall legit in love. It's by no means.... an inspirational romance... But he does legitimately believe in God and is struggling with the fact that he's been called (to his thinking) but also wants to fuck this woman really, really bad. There may or may not be fucking on the altar. There may or may not be a "just the tip" scene which, honestly, makes no sense as any penetration is penetration but okay. There is definitely holy oil used as lube for anal. So. 10/10. There is a TW for pedophilia in the Church being discussed as backstory, but it did not happen to the hero--rather, to someone he was close to.

Desperate Measures by Katee Robert--Katee Robert writes pretty hot romances, though some are definitely more erotic than others, and this is my favorite. It's a Jafar/Jasmine modern take (literally, they are named Jafar and Jasmine) but Jafar has just killed Jasmine's father (a crime boss) to take his territory (and Jasmine) from him. The book begins with a scene that is very much noncon, though she like... does want it against her will. Anyway, pretty dark, but I super enjoyed it. Every book in this series is basically modern Disney villain smut. Megara eats Jasmine out in this. It's great.

The Chasing of Eleanor Vane by Sierra Simone--Part of the Duke I'd Like to F... anthology, a novella about a woman betrothed to this loser when she really just wants to get railed by his guardian/uncle. Who is like, totally down for it. She's running off to escape the wedding, and he does indeed chase her. Bi hero and bi heroine!

My Dirty Duke by Joanna Shupe--Same as above, part of the DILF anthology. The heroine is 18-20 and is in love with her father's best friend, this rakish widower duke. She catches him during an assignation and is like "please fuck me" and he's all "nope" and then she's all "please fuck me while taking naked pictures of me with your Victorian camera because that's your kink" and he's all ".... maybe". Not for people who are squeamish about age gaps, obviously; if you're not, then it is preeeeetty hot. The scene where her dad realizes his best friend has been fucking his daughter all over the place is worth the price of admission.

An Education in Pleasure by Eva Leigh--See above, DILF anthology. The heroine is a governess, and the new duke of the estate is a good bit younger than her and eager to be taught how to please a woman. She does indeed teach him, and it's a lot.

Duke for Hire by Nicola Davidson--See above. The heroine is 30ish and a virginal daughter of a clergyman, and she basically hits up a duke to hire him to Teach Her the Ways of the Secular Flesh. Includes the usage of old timey sex toys, plus an elderly lesbian couple who helps facilitate her getting her freak on. I loved them elderly lesbians... so much.

Both the DILF and RILF anthologies have novellas by Adriana Herrera as well, and while they're very good and hot they're not quite as hot as the other ones, which is why I'm leaving them out. Still read them!

The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind by Sierra Simone--Part of the Rake I'd Like to F... anthology. Basically, a highwayman kidnaps a notorious rake and dandy for revenge, but the rake likes getting tied up and fucked, so it doesn't work out quite as planned. M/m, obviously.

Two Rakes for Mrs. Sparkwell by Eva Leigh--RILF anthology. A widow encounters a couple of of gentlemen (a rake and his best friend who's, like, a bareknuckle fighter) who like to fuck women together. She falls in love with both of them, and them with her, but what will society say??? Mfm, the swords don't cross. But like. They're good buddies who love to share. It's not a love triangle.

A Rake, His Patron, and Their Muse by Nicola Davidson--RILF anthology. A rake playwright loses inspiration and runs off with his patron to visit a boarding house, where they meet a widow who falls into bed with them. The three then proceed to have a ton of threesomes and fall in love with each other. But again, what of society? This is mmf, swords cross, both heroes are bi and they all love one another.

Sold to the Duke by Joanna Shupe--Haha bro. Hahaha. The heroine is left destitute after her brother dies, and in order to save herself and her sister she auctions her virginity. Her brother's best friend happens to be there, and he saves her by buying her virginity, but she is determine to go through with her end of the bargain despite him insisting that she doesn't have to. Very hot.

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta--If you like monsterfucking and also a bit of sweetness (almost too sweet for me, but it's still... hot? I've spent months coming to terms with my feelings on it) then this is it. The heroine lives in a world where monsters and humans all get along and live around each other, and minotaur semen is like, the key to the ultimate boner pills, basically. So minotaurs go to milking farms for extra cash, where they get jacked off until they fill those like... 32-64 ounce bottles, and go on their way. The heroine becomes a milker in order to pay off her student loans (so real) and falls in love with a business daddy client. There's a lot of semen in this. He's a full minotaur. Idk what else to tell you.

Run, Run Rabbit by C.M. Nascosta--Currently reading this. I'm told it's HFN versus HEA, which I'm fine with, but heads up. Set in the same world as above, it's about two werewolves who are trial lawyers working at the same firm, and they kinda hate each other but also keep meeting up every month around the full moon so that they can fuck the shit out of each other. The relationship is kind of toxic in a hot way. It's open. There's knotting. But like. If you are... interested in people fucking during lupercalia.... Then.... sure....

[thedeviljudges]

yohan + physical tough + trauma response

disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.

also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.

so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.

so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.

yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.

episode one

the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of… not shock, but certainly distracted.

later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.

next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.

i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:

yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.

if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.

we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.

the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.

and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.

him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.

episode two

we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.

later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.

okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.

so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.

of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.

yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.

anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.

and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.

with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.

so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.

then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?

episode three

yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.

and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.

and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.

and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.

and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.

it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.

episode four

i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.

this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.

what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.

after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).

basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.

then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.

tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.

yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.

later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.

but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.

i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.

so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:

because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.

and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.

and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.

and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?

the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.

and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.

you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.

episode six

so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.

after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.

additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.

the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.

and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.

the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.

because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.

but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.

but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.

to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.

but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.

episode seven

the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.

and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.

episode eight

the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.

we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.

and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.

additional thoughts

i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.

the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.

yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes

day flings

he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex

inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself

he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason

and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:

i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.

yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.

lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets​‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.

“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).

“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).

“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”

yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.

yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.

and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.

and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao

[dontbipanicjonsa]

Let's talk about 8x04

(Skipping writing about episode 3 because of obvious reasons.)

At this point, it's getting very hard to tell what is Pol!Jon and what is "oh no I fucked my aunt". Their relationship is disintegrating fast.

1) Sansa's motivations.

If there's anything this episode confirmed for me, it's that Sansa is not motivated by a desire for personal gain (not that I had doubts before).

Her line from S6 comes to mind:

"If we don't take back the North, we'll never be safe."

That's it. That's her motivation in a nutshell. Two things are important here, being safe and the North. In her mind they are inextricably linked.

I think she believes (for good reason) that for her and her family's safety, a Stark has to have power in the North. Exactly which Stark is much less important (she's ready to make Bran Lord of Winterfell, she loyally kept Jon's crown safe through S7, he's still the Warden in the North even tho she's the Lady of Winterfell). Basically, Stark power in the North means safety to her.

Another motivation for her is Northern Independence. I think a part of that is again linked to Starks being in power in the North. She doesn't trust people sitting on the Iron Throne. And a part of it is the independence part. She, her family and much of the North bled and died for that independence, and she cannot give it up so easily.

The real motivation she has in this episode tho is protecting Jon. She says as much herself. Tyrion points out that with Jon in the South, Sansa is the power in the North, but Sansa's mind is on keeping Jon North (aka safe). The moment she told Tyrion his secret kinda reminded me of Cat freeing Jaime. It's a dangerous gamble that they're taking, but in that moment they decide to fuck it because if the gamble pays off, then the people they love (Sansa, Arya, Jon) will be safe. Sansa is fighting for Jon in this moment.

2) I don't wanna bitch about Dany but....

Can't she have said any throwaway line acknowledging the whole "the man I thought is my father actually isn't my father" crisis Jon was probably having inside his head??? Did she really just make his parentage all about her?? Nobody tell me she loves him.

Honestly, I think she's a great character (in the books). Going down a dark path, yes, but still great. The show makers appear to be hurrying along her descent now. This entire scene was jarring.

Moving on from the bitching-

Danaerys is really doubling down on the "what's mine", "the rightful Queen", and even "her destiny" now. The problem is that she's technically wrong. Jon has a better claim than her, and she knows it. Saying that he could take what's hers is plain incorrect. Now if she said, "fuck claims anyway. I've worked for this Throne" I would respect that. At least it's self aware.

3) The lady doth protest too much..?

I think Jon spent half this episode saying, "I don't want the Throne", "you are my Queen", and "she'll be a good Queen". Maybe I'm imagining it, but there is urgency in his words. He's trying to convince the people he is talking to. Who is he talking to?

Dany, Sansa and Arya.

Funny thing tho, in that same conversation with Sansa and Arya, it's established that he "did what he had to" because they needed Danaerys to fight the WW. Now this doesn't contradict his tag lines this episode exactly...but they don't seem entirely congruent with each other either. "Had to" implies a reluctance. Like his hand was forced. At the same time, even tho he keeps talking about how she'll be a good Queen, he provides no reasons for why he believes that, no explanation...only these lines. It makes for an unconvincing argument (sorry Jon).

Someone does say that Dany would be a good Queen because "people follow her" (either Tyrion or Jon) but we already know that's not true. People have not followed her since she came to Westeros, and while the show makes a point of establishing that Jon is liked by his people all the more for his role in the Great War, the same cannot be said for Dany.

So here we have Jon and Tyrion both defending "their Queen" hard. It is known that Tyrion, despite his protests, is having serious doubts about Dany. It is known that he is afraid of her (Sansa establishes that in her conversation with him). It is known that he is aware of her "worst impulses".

Why then, is Jon not? Why is he not having serious doubts? Why is he not afraid of her? Why is he not aware of her worst impulses? How can he not be?

The simple answer is, he is.

4) the "stfu or I stg" look.

The look he gives Sansa during the battle planning meet where she suggests letting the troops rest. Honestly? It's a sound suggestion. Jon, who has been Lord Commander, led people in battle, and is generally not known for mistreating his troops should agree with her. So why does he shut her down so hard, and with that look?

Dany says, "the longer I wait, the stronger my enemies grow". Which enemies?

It's a safe assumption to make that Dany is including Sansa in that list of enemies. As Tyrion says to Sansa (I don't remember the words exactly) but something to the effect of "it's easier to give in to her (Dany)" and Sansa immediately catches that Tyrion is afraid of Dany.

Now Jon is forcing Sansa to give in to Dany.....you see where I'm going with this.

This, along with his insistence that Dany is his Queen and she will be a good Queen....

Here's the thing. There are three things that could be happening here.

First, Jon is afraid of Dany and is being extremely accommodating to keep the heat off himself, and forcing Sansa to do the same.

Second, he's really Stockholm Syndromed his way into falling in love with Dany and he means everything he says.

Third, he has miraculously lost his critical thinking skills, his ability to see and hear Dany making some very dark threats (itching to burn KL, increasingly paranoid about Tyrion and Sansa, only concerned with the better claim that Jon now has on her Throne) and all his brain cells.

I know which of these things I want to believe.

5) In love?

Are Jon and Dany in love?

Danaerys is not. She felt something for him, yes, but now that she's discovered his parentage....her priorities are abundantly clear. She does not trust him, she is concerned only with the consequences this reveal has on her claim.

Her reaction is a mix of legitimate fear that this may be the end of her, a more concerning sentiment of "what it will do to the people" because what exactly will it do to the people...? A fear that he will "take what's hers" nevermind that she's supposed to love and trust him and he hasn't done anything himself to prove he's untrustworthy, and a fear of what it will do to "us" (?what?).

Does this make me think she honestly loves him? No.

Does he love her? It doesn't look like it. But we've already established that it's never particularly looked like he loves her. The question now is why does he keep insisting that he is subservient to her? Where does Pol!Jon end and the breakdown of their relationship begin?

The greatest irony of Jonerys is that it's supposed to be the most epic love story, but it's the story of two people that are incapable of truly loving each other.

6) are you seriously telling me

Are you seriously telling me that Jon reluctantly gives away his crown to this woman because he felt that he was left with no choice (and the woman greatly contributed to making him feel that way) and he simultaneously falls in love with her?

Honestly? It's a bit reminiscent of Yggrite. The entire story from Jon going to Dragonstone till now is very reminiscent of Yggrite. I would just like to believe that Jon's character has developed and grown since Yggrite.

And if Dany is Yggrite, then she's an Yggrite who is threatening mass murder and the lives of Jon's family. Are you seriously telling me Jon is capable of loving that (in a healthy way)?

My god. I get what people say now about Jon's character being assassinated. Pol!Jon is really my only option if I want to keep his character somewhat consistent. I guess we have to make our own consistency in this world too.

Note- these are only my ramblings and they are filled with my personal opinion and biases. I'm only saying what I think, not that I'm right.