#it is hilarious seeing bruce squirm though

[hypewinter]

After Danny exposed Vlad and his corrupt dealings, the older halfa got the last laugh by getting his blacklists from all engineering jobs. Desperate for a job Danny ends up applying for a personal assistant position and he actually gets it. It only takes him a week to see how detached Bruce Wayne is from his own company. AND he has his 16 year old son running it as CEO!? No way is he letting that slide.

[fanficsandfluff]

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana. 

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together. 

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT. 

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him. 

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here 

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) 

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so. 

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill. 

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself. 

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning. 

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color. 

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo 

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater. 

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other. 

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish. 

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh. 

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell. 

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it. 

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him. 

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening. 

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

[vagrantblvrd]

That AU where Tony initially goes after the weapons Stane sold under the table and is like well, that figures when everyone immediately thinks Iron Man is a baddie because Hilarious Misunderstandings.

(And also Hydra being quick to make him a scapegoat while they operate in the shadows and so on.)

Pepper and Rhodey like Tony, no, while Tony gets this look on his face watching a news broadcast about the new supervillain Iron Man and recent escapades and Tony is like Tony, yes as he gleefully embraces the life of supervillainy.

Or, you know.

Makes a production out of it, and has JARVIS make a note for Tony to practice his Evil Monologues(TM) because every good supervillain needs to be at the top of their game for that and all.

And then SHIELD finds Steve and Tony’s in one of his Lairs(TM) when he finds out.

(The one located inside a volcano that he and JARVIS spent forever looking for it because you just can’t beat the classics, you know?)

Sitting in an Evil Overloard-style chair with his hands steepled in front of his face and like HMMMMM because this can only end badly for his Plots and Schemes(TM), but damn is the man good looking.

JARVIS is like *SIGH* because Tony.

Meanwhile, Steve is told Iron Man is Evil(TM), although Fury seems kind of amused about something as he gives Steve the briefing on Iron Man’s shenanigans the past few years.

Coulson is like *SIGH* when Steve asks about Iron Man afterward and tells Steve to be careful if he ever runs into the guy - he probably will, what with him being who he is and all -because the man is tricky ,dangerous.

(Coulson’s not Steve’s handler or anything, but he’s a face Steve trusts inside SHIELD and anyway yes.)

Also, also, shortly afterwards Steve meets Natasha and Clint and things aren’t so lonely for him at SHIELD.

(Because the STRIKE team and Rumlow, and anyway, something’s...not right, you know? But then Natasha and Clint and Steve feels like he has people he can trust his back when Coulson isn’t around.)

Then Shenanigans in which Iron Man does crimes and Steve and his STRIKE team attempt to thwart him but really. It’s a lot of taunting and mockery and flirting.

So much flirting?

Like, Steve should be more appalled, but really. Iron Man isn’t anything like he expected because for one, his Evil Monologues(TM) devolve into rambling about who knows what half the time and okay, yes, Steve could do with less flirting because bad guy Steve’s supposed to bring in and all?

But you know.

Tony is forever oh, this is going to end so badly whenever he runs into Steve while gallivanting about as Iron Man? Because the man is even more good looking in person, and radiates good in a way Tony wishes he could laugh about?

But can’t because it’s just who Steve is and oh - oh no, Tony has gone and caught Feelings for the man, which is ridiculous as Steve literally just punched Tony (in the armor) so hard he left a dent, and never mind they were all-out brawling because supervillain vs Captain America and yes.

ANYWAY.

Fury calls Tony in - consultant/constant pain in Fury’s ass - and then Tony is flirting with Steve on two fronts and perhaps laughing hysterically at himself because it’s going to be so bad when everything falls apart, you know?

(So bad.)

Because Steve flirts back.

Tony’s at SHIELD for whatever reason andthey happen to run across one another in the cafeteria/commissary.

Steve is like “Tony, hey,” all awkward and such and so, so  confused when Tony zeroes in on Natasha who’s eating lunch next to him.

“Ms. Rushman,” he says, this smile on his face because it’s clearly an inside joke with the two of them.

And Natasha, okay.

Smiles back and greets Tony with a “Mr. Stark,” and Steve is like :(((((((((( thinking there’s something between them because Tony steals something off Natasha’s plate and she lets him do it.

But the next moment Tony’s stealing off Steve’s plate and talking a mile a minute about some new gadget he’s working on or whatever and Steve is *__________*

After a bit Tony gets up to leave, gives Steve this smile, one that leaves Steve tongue-tied and a little breathless.

Tony grins before he turns and points at Natasha telling her he’ll have Clint’s new arrows next time he’s at SHIELD and leaves.

Steve tries very hard not to blush - the serum only does so much, you know? - because Natasha is watching him and clearly enjoying Steve’s squirming because she’s kind of evil like that?

But anyway.

More shenanigans, trying to catch Iron Man and such, and they get news that the bastard basically kidnapped someone named Bruce Banner - Steven being all shit when Fury shows him footage of the Hulk on a rampage in New York and now Iron Man has him???

(He’s honestly a little concerned about how unconcerned Fury and Coulson are about it, but you know.)

But then he’s got more concerns because Clint’s compromised and Coulson is worried and all that fun stuff.

The invasion and forced to work with Iron Man to stop it - Steve tries real hard not to think about what a good team they make, and also the Hulk is there fighting with them?

Literally catches Iron Man when he falls back out of the portal and Steve is like please, please, please because Iron Man saved them all from that damned nuke.

But Hulk takes him and runs and Steve and the others are left with the aftermath.

A week later and he sees Tony again, guy looking tired and run down and also like something ran him over -

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Tony says, crooked smile on his face.

Which is how Steve finds out Tony was in New York when the invasion happened and he has so many Feelings about that because what if he’d died???

Anyway.

Clean-up and the whatnot, and no sign of Iron Man for the longest time, Steve worried and a heartsick because he’s an idiot who likes the guy, even if he doesn’t like his methods.

And then!

The whole...Winter Soldier nonsense and Hydra and Steve not knowing who to trust, so he goes to talk to Tony when it’s all over.

Okay, maybe a few weeks/months afterwards because Steve is dealing (not great, admittedly) with the realization Buck’s not dead. That he’s the Winter Soldier people like Natasha talk about like he’s the bogeyman and out searching for Bucky and anyway.

It’s a while before he goes to see Tony, but when he does -

“This isn’t what it looks like,” because there’s Tony, an Iron Man gauntlet on his hand -

“Okay, maybe a little.”

Also.

Bucky.

“You’re a dick,” Tony says, working at getting the gauntlet off because someone with enhanced strength may or may not have squeezed the thing to the point it can’t be removed normally -

“I need my hands, asshole,” and Tony says they were sparring???

Meanwhile, Bucky is giving Tony a deeply unimpressed look and “I tried to kill you.”

Because Tony tracked Bucky down and wanted to talk, but Bucky thought maybe it was less talking Tony was interested in and more like killing him - Because Reasons - and anyway.

Tony isn’t looking at Steve, body language screaming guilt and fuck and :(((((((( seeing as how he’s clearly Iron Man and while SHIELD is in tatters he’s still an Evil Villain(TM) and also, Reasons.

Which.

Steve doesn’t even know where to begin, but Bucky’s there, and while he doesn’t look great he’s not the Winter Soldier right now, and yes.

Later, though.

Later Steve gets Tony’s story out of him, how he’s been fighting the real bad guys this whole time, found out about Hydra infiltrating SHIELD and other such things and just.

A lot of stuff and Steve is so conflicted?

But then Coulson and the spy twins show up with food and coffee -

“Oh, thanks God, gimme,” from Tony who is perfectly comfortable with Coulson’s spy twins in his worksho.

Who, by the way, don’t seem particularly surprised at Tony clearly being Iron Man - the gauntlet Tony eventually pried off on a work table and the many, many suits along the walls, and everything.

“We knew,” Clint says, like that much isn’t obvious.

Which is when Steve finds out Fury and Coulson knew the whole time and Tony was working with them on the Evil Iron Man(TM) front and just.

It’s A Lot and Steve’s conflicted again, because he’s been kept out of the loop - Fury’s idea, one that has Tony and the others sharing a look over because it wasn’t one of his best ones, but whatever.

Any then, you know.

Avenge-ing happens?

Also, Steve deciding since they’re on the same side now - SHIELD is pretty much gone, but Hydra isn’t, and until they can expose the bastards being Evil(TM) is actually not as bad as expected? - he ought to return the favor when it comes to Tony and inappropriate times for flirting.

“Cap, we’re in the middle of a fight?”

Because some mad scientist on Hydra’s payroll and robots and Central Park?

But also Tony, and Steve’s seen him - seen Iron Man - fight before. Fought him, in fact, but he didn’t know it was Tony at the time, and really.

Just.

It’s incredible (and also Tony padding into the kitchen at the Tower all sleepy and adorable and giving Steve the sweetest smile because he hadn’t had coffee yet and did’t have his usual walls up and Clint and Natasha giving Steve shit for the sappy look he must have had on his face, and anyway, yes) and he’s got so much payback in mind when it comes to Tony, and this is a good start, you know?

ALSO.

Coulson totally wins the betting pool on the whole when Steve and Tony finally get their heads out of their asses, and Bucky and Clint bitch for forever afterwards that he had to have inside information or something, but Steve can’t be bothered to care about that because reasons???

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

Dating a tattoo artist

Imagine: being a tattoo artist and your boyfriend being part of it

This was a fun idea I had. I hope you like it. Enjoy ❤️

Victor Creed

-he is here for it

-since his loooooonnnnggg life is well long he loves to tells stories of tattoo artists he met Japan, Brazil, New York, New Zeland...

-and you can bet that he will have the most elaborate tattoo you can think of since he said so

'You want a tattoo? From me?'

'Yes, I trust you.'

'That's the problem, Vic, you could end up with a dolphin tattoo on your arm.'

'.... Well... I still trust you?'

-after that, he was a little bug just to be on your good side which you took full advantage of

Being on top, commanding him? Sure

Handing you the remote even though it's next to you? Of course

Helping you choose an outfit even though you are indecisive and he has a short fuse? Hell yeah.

-when the day came you tattooed him a small quote that described him

"Tough times never last but tough people do"

(Robert H. Shuller)

'I love it. Thank you kitten.'

Loki Laufeyson

-Since he was in the cell for most of his life (in my universe that's the worst thing happening for him, he didn't die nor his mother) he doesn't know what a tattoo artist is he thinks that's an alternative art form he is supportive

-after you talk to him describing the definition of tattoos and the art behind it he is very much perplexed

'So mortals pay you to pierce their skin with black ink to paint...something????'

'Tattoo something on their skin and yes.'

'With pain in mind?????'

'Yes, and it looks awesome.'

-when he heard the story of your tattoo shop he decided to tag along to see the magic

-he saw how men and women tattooed others while they squirmed in their seats he chuckled at the sight of it

'Darling you could have told me.'

'What?'

'You torture people with the needle machines and coax them into paying you. Brilliant.'

'Suree~~~~'

-he stayed with you to help you with the pain giving without a medical license

'I'm a God. I'm above it.'

'No one is above the Inspection.'

Thor Odinson

-since his depression and weight gain he is very much informed of the world of MTV tattoo show "How far is tattoo far?"

-so he very much thinks that tattoos are a stamp of disgrace

-and keeping that in mind he is frazzled why are you doing a job like that

'You are a shame barer?'

'Shame-what...? Thor! I'm not. The show is a disgrace to the tattoo world.'

'Shame~~barer~~~'

'Just come with me and spend one day and see it for yourself.'

-Thor is reluctant much to his words but still, you sat him down in the waiting lobby he chats up the customers a.k.a big muscular dudes that are already tattooed from the neck down

'So... what is your shame? What horrible deed have you done to come here?'

'Excuse me!?'

'You must be here to condemn your shame by immortalizing it with a flesh sticker.'

-at this point, the muscle dude stood up ready to attack Thor but you intervene quickly

'Marc, stop!'

-the man turned around hiding his tight fist behind his back

'Y/n, already done? That's fast.'

'Marc, you know that you were released 7 months ago and you are still on parole. Come on. Stop it.'

'He insulted me and-and my tattoos. Your tattoos. You know how am about your work.'

-Thor hears that as stands up grabbing Marc's arm examining the tattoos in amazement

'My darling, I want that felsh sticker as he has.'

'.......... Sure........ Wait here. Let's go, Marc. I need to vent.'

Steve Rogers

-Steve knows what tattoos are since he has seen the stick and poke of his fellow soldiers but never a photorealistic tattoo in your portfolio

-he is very much intrigued how you made that look like a real person on someone's skin knowing very well there is no eraser

-loves to ask how do you achieve such colors that simply jump out or how you make a fabric that of a shirt or some patterns, he is armed with questions

-and since he is an art wizard himself he loves to have a painting duel with you, you paint on his skin with watercolors and he paints on the canvas

-that's one of his favorite moments

'What did you draw?'

'A dolphin kissing a penguin.'

'What?!'

'Just kidding I painted the building in Brooklyn where you lived.'

'Did I tell you how much I love you?'

Bucky Barnes

-this man thrives to see you fulfill your dream and passion

-especially when he picks you up, he parks the car exiting it and walking in seeing you talk to your employees and customers exchanging stories and laughs even though in the near distance is the buzzing sounds of the machine guns

-you see him and grab his hand giving him a peck on his lips as a cheeky grin is stuck on his face

-as you talk about your day he always asks the question

'Were there any wusses?'

-alluding to men who cried out form the stinging pain, eventually tapping out to take a break

'Yes, a big dude Marc. Ordered a neck tattoo with details. Tapped out in 15 minutes.'

'I knew it!'

-he enjoys in the hilarious stories you can make up... I mean tell

Bruce Wayne

-you already know the drill he has money he will give it to you but politely delined

-he tried to help with purest of heart but still, the answer was no

-he loved to see your shop filled with many customers as he walked incognito, sunglasses and a cap saying he wasn't a private appointment with the head tattooer

-Let's just say you were pretty much in tears of laughter as he reveled his face

'At least you tried, Bruce.'

-he loves to talk about tattoos and the process of healing if it's on top of a scar

-you are hooked on the conversation and even make him some sketches

'A huge dragon on your back with black and gold lining.'

'Okay but how about initials of my parents?'

'That sounds... Better much much better.'

-so the day of his tattooing comes you tattoo in his inner arm putting the letter T. & M. W.

'Thank you Princess.'

Clark Kent

-Clark loves to see the vast tattoos so much that he wants one but he knows that his body will "absorb" the tattoo too fast making it disappear in a few months maybe weeks

-but still, he loves to see how your gaze is sharp focused on the tattooing even when HE walks that is how much you are focused

'Alrighty, Marc you are done.'

'Thanks, Y/n, you are the best.'

-Clark also loves to hear the influx of comments of your artistry even if he's a little jealous

-he loves to see just how much you are happier to follow this insane passion

'You are an inspiration Y/n.'

'Why?'

'Because... You just are.'

Arthur Curry

-you already know that Fishman is tatted to perfection and he is here for a tattoo lover as well

-if you ever have someone asking for a Maori style tattoo Arthur will be a fair judge, that's what he says

Case#1

'Why do you want a Maori tattoo?'

'Um, sir beca-'

'It's Mr. Aquaman. Continue.'

'Oh, sorry. Mr. Aquaman, I want it because I find them cool.'

'Just cool? Do you think that the abundant culture of Maori people is cool? Go home boy.

Case #2

'You want a Ta Moko? Do you what that is?'

'Sur-sure, it's a tattoo of the Maori people.'

'Ufff... Do you know how much of a meaning Ta Moko carries? Why don't you go to the Yakuzas and get a tebori.'

'They would kill me.'

'Of course, and I'll whoop your uncultured ass with my two hands.'

-you turned to the now pale boy

'Run.'

-the man ran like the wind as the Aquaman caught him easily giving him a cultural lesson of Ta Moko

Orm Marius

-he kinda has a small soft spot for tattoos especially those with a loving meaning lover, family...

-and he likes to "inform himself" about it so he asks a ton of questions even asking what kind of tattoo would suit him

'I think a small red tattoo would suit your taste.'

'I like the tattoos who can hold audios.'

-with that sentence, he left you frazzled as you google and got the special ink kit gifting it to Orm as a present for being a nice guy and not killing anyone

-he immediately records his audio in secrecy and handing you the ink

-after you tattoo the ink you hand him your phone with the app to scan the audio

'Hey, Orm. I'm just reminding you that I love you. So much. It's Y/n if you forget... Somehow.'

-later that day you doused him with kisses

Joker

-that man oozes with tattoos *cough*damaged*cough*

-and you can bet that he wants more of them he brings into your home the whole tattoo parlor just so he can have a private session with sex mixed in

-you gladly tattoo him patching up some of his tattoos he has outgrown them

'Why did you tattoo Kick Me on your back?'

'I won a bet.'

'Are you sure you won?'

'For sake of this question I did.'

-you cover the kick me tattoo with a large red dragon with green eyes

-he stands up looking at the tattoo in the mirror

'Sweets, you just got a huge tip.'

Duncan Vizla

-for him, tattoo nowadays are dumb in his time tattoos were means of solidarity with people who are bounded by the same ink and gun

-but keeps his mouth shut about it not to offend your dream even if it's tattooing dancing hotdogs

-he loves to pass your parlor when he finishes grocery shopping just to see you in action

-he loves to arrive at the parlor if you are doing a night shift just to keep you safe and in good company

-he loves to bring you lunch and watch you eat it with such content and happiness

-it melts his heart and just wants to make you more food

-but as he is present for the good he is here for the bad

-if he is somewhere anywhere you just need to call him and he is there in a minute be it a drunken person not wanting to exit or an aggressive man trying to grope someone in the shop

-he is ready to kill them if you say so

'You okay sweetheart?'

'Um-yeah...Thank you Donut.'

'Nonsense. That's my duty.'

[ravenforce]

Stardust

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x OC!Daughter

Series: Final Installment to See You in A Minute (Part 1 | Part 2)

Word Count: 7496

Warning/s: ��FLUFF.

A/N: Hey loves, I’m so sorry it took so long. To be honest, I feel like I didn’t wanna write it. I procrastinated a lot before committing to writing it. A part of me doesn’t want it to end but it’s time to let my baby fly. Thank you for riding this one out with me. I hope you like it. Hit my message and my ask box for feedback, I would love to hear from you. xx

***

It’s quite hilarious to see a room full of super-powered being clamoring to have little Asya on their arms, cooing soft words of love and affirmation to the little miracle that is your daughter but it’s also reassuring. Seeing the Avengers, literally assembled for your daughter’s birth grounds Natasha in a way that she hasn’t felt in a long time since you passed. Seeing her family around your daughter gives her the strength and confidence that she can, indeed, do this because she’s not alone; not really.

Carol, who arrived last as per usual, bounded on the bed with Asya on her arms. Nat smiled at the blonde, she looks ecstatic. She only smiled at Natasha before she sits on the bed next to her. They both look at Asya’s tiny, beautiful, sleeping face.

“Beautiful just like you,” Carol whispered so only Nat heard.

“Someone has a soft spot,” Nat teased.

Carol threw her a dirty look. “Well I suppose for this one, it’s okay.”

Nat pouted, “just for the little one?”

Carol laughed. “Alright, for the mama too,” she said before leaning and startling Natasha with a kiss on her cheek. Nat was lost for words. Thankfully, Asya saved her by promptly erupting with a good cry.

***

Natasha’s thankful she agreed to move with the Starks a year ago. She couldn’t imagine raising little Asya in your tiny shared apartment. It'll be intimate sure but also removed from everyone else, since you particularly chose the space to be your private sanctuary. At the lake house, she has more space to accommodate people as well as access to helping hands.

Here, she had Tony help build the whole nursery and assemble the furniture. Here, she has Morgan who willingly volunteered her service as a big sister to look after little Asya while she catches a few minutes of sleep. She would often wake up to Morgan softly reading to Asya. Sometimes, she'd wake up with not just Morgan but also Peter, telling his little siblings stories about you. Nat always pretends to be asleep and listens to him tell your story from his perspective.

“Oh kid, your other mom, she was amazing. She was strong, kind, and funny. She’s also super smart. I bet you’re gonna be smart too, just like her and Morgan here,” Peter whispered while Morgan giggled. It makes Nat's heart ache and swells knowing how your family loved you.

Most importantly, Pepper’s around to help teach her the basics. She thought her how to hold a baby properly, she walked her through breastfeeding, changing diapers, and how to sneak some sleep in between. Even though Nat hates having to rely heavily on people, she’s beyond grateful.

***

6 months

Asya could be the most behave baby in history. After overcoming the onset challenges of motherhood such as changing diapers, raising her is a breeze. Asya feeds like clockwork, sleeps like clockwork; no matter how long she napped in the afternoon, she still goes down before 9 PM.

She doesn’t wake every two hours anymore. She doesn’t cry her lungs out to wake up Nat at wee hours in the morning too. Instead, Nat finds her awake and playing in her crib quietly; waiting for her to wake up too.

“Hey, beautiful,” Nat greets softly. Asya would smile, raise her arms to prompt her mother to take her. Nat would always be obliged, giving her little miracle soft morning kisses.

Asya giggles, she’s a very happy child. “Come let’s get you some food.”

At 6 months old, Asya has already transitioned to some solid foods. She loves oranges, the way you always did. She can also fully support her weight too, so she’s been allowed to sit on the most advance baby chair there is built by Tony Stark himself. It has heating cushioned seat to ensure she’s never cold. It has built-in Dolby speakers to play her baby tunes to keep her entertained.

***

From time to time, members of the team would come by the Lakehouse just to see Asya and Morgan. Tony, Pepper, and Nat tried not to be offended (they’re not) but they loved teasing the others about it, especially Carol who comes by once a month with all sorts of space rocks to give the kids.

“Nothing for me?” Tony asked while promptly making breakfast for the whole fam. Carol arrived earlier that morning and is ignoring everyone in favor of bouncing Asya on her legs and answering space rocks question from Morgan.

Nat is helping Pepper set up the table. She gave Carol a light kiss on top of her hair when she rounded the table.

“Car, Tony asked you a question,” Nat whispered before going back to putting plates on the table. Pepper laughed at Carol’s blushing face.

“Sorry. What’s the question?”

“I asked if you don’t have anything for me?” Tony reiterated as he set the last batch of slices of bacon, eggs, and toasts at the table.

Carol cocked her head to the side and looked at Asya. “Nope, only good girls get space rocks,” she cooed softly at Asya who is twirling a lock of her golden hair.

Everyone laughed and proceeded to take their respective seats. Nat sat across from Carol, Asya turned in her arms and looked at her mother.

“Ma-ma,” she blurted out while reaching towards Natasha. Everyone was stunned to silence. She’s been teaching Asya words as part of her bedtime routine but up until that moment, Asya can only make gibberish words.

“Mama,” Asya tried again when Nat didn’t make a move to get her. Her lips wobbled a little, and that prompted Nat to take her from Carol’s arms.

“Hi,” Nat says as Asya wraps her tiny arms around her neck in a hug. Carol smiled at her before prompting everyone to start eating their breakfast.

***

One

Natasha never thought she’d ever fall in love again but every time she looks at your daughter, she’s absolutely, irrevocably in love with her. You’ve been gone for two years now, and Asya just turned one. They had a little party for you and Asya, and members of the team who are not currently in a mission – Clint (& his family), Bruce, Bucky, and Thor - came down to at the Lakehouse for some afternoon feast. The kids adored their beefy uncles, they make really good climbing posts after all. The boys savored the attention until Carol, late as per usual, landed on the front yard in all her Captain Marvel glory and took away Asya’s attention.

Nat smiled when the blonde walked up to her.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Carol said, rubbing the back of her neck. Nat opened her arms and Carol immediately stepped inside it and pulled Nat in a tight hug.

Thor walked up to the two women with Asya sitting pretty on his arms and clinging around his neck. The little girl lifted her pretty little face off her big Uncle Thor’s chest when she saw Carol.

“Car,” she said with a smile on her face. Carol gaped at the little angel, while Nat smiled proudly at her baby.

“I’m wounded little one, you know her but not me,” Thor tickled her, Asya giggled and squirmed away from him and towards Carol. Carol immediately caught her in her arms.

“Hi love,” Carol whispered reverently. Nat took her phone out and took a photo of the two together. In the past few years, Carol has been a constant presence in her life, an unexpected rock Nat learned to lean on.

***

There wasn’t a day where Nat didn’t wish she’s still waking up in your arms, that you were seeing Asya grow up but she couldn’t dwell on that. A huge part of her heart will always be your, a part of her will be yours but she has to keep moving forward. She resolved to be the best version of herself for Asya until she meets you again.

Until then, there’s only Asya for her. And at one, Asya and she are already inseparable. Asya love crawling around and following Nat in the house. She cries when Nat attempts to leave her – be it to go to the grocery or check-in at S.H.I.E.L.D - Nat has to take her because the sight of her tearful face, and wobbling little lips make her heart break. The moment Asya sees her body carrier the tears stop and her face would immediately break into a smile.

Nat has also introduced Asya to the tree; it has been part of their routine lately. Every morning Nat would help Asya walk towards the tree to soak in some vitamin D. It is quite a distance for her little legs but good training and exercise for her nonetheless.

Sometimes, Nat would just sit and watch Asya wrap her arms around the tree trunk and try to go around it. Sometimes, they’d have their breakfast right there while Nat tells her stories about you; how she met you, how she fell in love, how your smile lights up her world, how you saved her in more ways than one, how you’re a genius, and how she loves you so much.

“I'm sure if she’s here she will love you, even more, you’re our little miracle,” Nat would say.

Asya’s very attentive even at one year old. Sometimes, Nat swears Asya could understand her just by the look in her eyes (oh those eyes, they’re almost identical to yours), and the way she would always reach out at Nat as if she can sense the height of her emotions.

***

Three

Yet another cliché but time does fly. Asya’s now three and talking like she’s ten. Tony and Bruce said it could be an effect of hearing adults speak all the time. They have to be extra careful of their words now that Asya picks up on words easily. Today though, the Starks are having a little family vacation in Las Vegas where coincidentally a science fair is happening, which they’re supposed to go to but Asya’s nursing the flu.

“Mama can I watch Discovery after breakfast?” Asya said from her high chair, pushing around her pancakes, eggs, and fruits. She’s sporting a fever patch on her forehead too.

“Of course baby.”

After breakfast, Nat put on the Discovery channel. She kissed Asya’s head before stepping away to go back to the kitchen to do the dishes. Asya stopped her with fingers pinched tightly around the back of her mother’s shirt. She turned back to your baby.

“Mama, stay please.”

Nat smiled, it reminds her of days when you were feeling sick yourself. You always loved having her close, even though sometimes you’re already burning up. Nat kicked her shoes off.

“Scoot over then baby,” she said before squeezing herself between Asya and the back of the couch. She threw a blanket over them and cuddled her heart.

“I love you, mama,” Asya said before turning back to the show featuring Orcas.

“I love you too,” Nat whispered not watching the show but Asya whose eyes, even on her sickly state, reflects so much interest and warmth.

“Mama, you’re not watching,” Asya reprimanded.

Nat chuckled. “I’m watching the best thing in this world for me.”

***

Nat and Asya watched Discovery and History channel all day, with breaks to eat, pee, and take meds. They’ve shifted from one position to another throughout the day. By sunset, Carol arrived at the lake house for her monthly visit and found Nat asleep on the couch with Asya sleeping soundly on top of her. Carol smiled, took a photo of her two favorite girls.

An hour later, Nat awoke with a start with the realization that she doesn’t have Asya in her arms. She sat up, calmed a little when she heard voices in the kitchen. When she walked through, worry immediately left her and adoration washed over her. Asya’s sitting on the counter, reading a cookbook while Carol listens and stirs the pot.

“Auntie Carol, are you sure you put the correct condiments already?”

Carol laughed. “Yes, ma’am. Shall we put it to the test?” Carol asked.

“You should. I’m already sick, I don’t fancy being iller,” Asya said without looking up from the cookbook and with such straight face, Nat couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Asya turned at the sound of her mother’s laugh and smiled.

“I think your daughter just insulted my cooking skills,” Carol poured.

Nat walked further in the kitchen beside Carol and inspected their soup. It looks passable.

“I’ll taste it,” Nat said before opening her mouth. Carol watched Nat’s mouth with rapt attention for a few seconds. Nat cleared her throat before Carol scooped some soup and spoon feed her. Nat didn’t think much about it when she moaned quietly but Carol turned beet red at the noise.

“So?” Asya asked, breaking the tension between the adults.

“You can eat it, baby, it’s good,” Nat answered before rounding Carol’s other side to kiss Asya’s cheek.

“Of course it’s good mama. I taught Auntie Carol how to do it from the book,” Asya said proudly. Nat laughed. Carol just continued blushing.

***

Five

On Asya’s first day of school, everyone has been so excited. Peter even insisted on seeing her off, just like he did with Morgan. Everyone was chattering excitedly over breakfast while they wait for Asya to finish getting ready.

“Asya, love. Come down please, you still have to eat breakfast,” Nat called out from the bottom of the staircase.

“Prikhodya, mama (coming mama),” Asya yelled back.

Nat stood shocked at the bottom of the staircase. ‘Did she just speak Russian?’ she thought. A minute later, Asya came thundering down the stairs and stood three steps away from her mother.

“When did you learn Russian?”

Asya's cheeks tinged pink. “I found mom's Russian notebooks in the reading room,” she answered bashfully before ducking out of Nat and towards the dining room just in time for Carol to burst in through the Stark side of the house.

“Hey! Your coolest Auntie is here!” Carol hollered which earned cheers.

Carol noted the little crease in Nat's forehead when she came over her to kiss her on the cheeks.

“Everything okay, Nat?”

Nat snapped out of her musing and smiled fondly at Carol. “Yeah, she learned Russian on her own and by just using Y/N's notes.”

“Did you expect anything less? She’s her daughter after all,” Carol teased before going over to Asya.

“Hey love, you look beautiful. Who dressed you?” Carol said squatting in front of Asya and noting her chosen outfit of a maroon skirt, white oxford shirt, and sneakers.

“I did,” Asya declared proudly. “Everyone always shows me pictures of mom, and she always dresses smart.”

“She did. Great outfit, Y/N is so proud of you,” Tony said before handing little Asya her lunch box. Asya accepted it gratefully, hugged everyone before dashing outside.

***

Carol was able to persuade Nat to let her drive everyone to school. Asya's about to get in the car when she changed her mind and started running towards the tree. Nat and Carol watched from the car while Asya reverently put her hand on the tree's trunk, whispered something before running back to the car.

“Alright, I’m ready,” Asya declared after buckling her seat belt.

Carol pulled out of the parking lot before Nat spoke.

“Love, may I ask you something?”

“Of course mama,” Asya answered.

“What is it you said back there?”

Asya stared at the side of Nat’s face for a couple of heartbeats.

“I told mom I’m gonna make her proud,” Asya admitted.

Nat turned as far as she could with her seatbelt on, “I’m sure she already is."

***

A week after starting, the school called Nat to come because they had to discuss something important. Nat was on edge since the call. Thankfully, Carol decided to stay for a little while longer.

“I’m sure everything’s okay,” Carol tried to reassure Nat on the way to school and pick up Asya. Nat reached out to hold Carol’s hand and they stayed intertwined the whole drive time.

When they arrived at school, Asya’s playing with the other kids. She immediately spotted Carol and Nat, she whispered to her friend who giggled before running towards her mother. Nat caught her in her arm easily.

“Hello beautiful,” Nat greeted before kissing Asya’s cheeks.

“Is everything okay, mama?” Asya asked as she notes the seriousness of Nat’s face.

“Of course, moya Lyubov' (my love). I just need to speak with the principal.”

“Am I in trouble?” Asya asked.

“No, of course not. They probably just want to tell your mama how amazing you are,” Carol jumped in, reassuring Asya.

Asya turned her eyes towards Carol and Carol couldn’t stop the urge to caress her cheeks. Asya leaned into her touch and Carol’s heart melted.

***

“Stay here, okay?” Nat asked her daughter before going into the principal's office.

Asya smiles at her mother. Nat turned back before entering the office, catching a glimpse of her daughter high-fiving kids twice and three times older than her. She smiled before the principal cleared her throat, forcing Nat to take a seat adjacent to Carol.

“Ms. Romanoff, Ms. Danvers,” the principal who doesn’t look an aged over 40 greeted.

Nat forced herself not to bounce her leg and frown, Carol smiled at the woman before putting her hand on Nat’s leg. The effect on Nat was instantaneous.

With the two’s continued silence, the principal continued. “Asya’s not in trouble. She’s actually very well received. I’m sorry if my summoning you here caused you any distress.”

“What is it then?” Carol asked.

“Ms. Romanoff, her other mother is Ms. Y/L/N, is that correct?” the principal asked.

“Yes,” Nat answered curtly.

“Has Asya ever took an IQ test?”

“Ma'am she’s five,” Carol tried to interject. Nat held her hand.

“Not yet, why?” Nat asked.

The principal smiled, “Well not a lot of five-year-olds can solve algebra equations."

Nat and Carol gaped at the principal lounging on her chair. She proceeded to tell them the story of how she found little Asya a couple of days ago, surrounded by a bunch of 8th graders at the library during the time she’s supposed to be down for a nap.

“I snuck behind them and hid at the nearest shelf. She’s brilliant, she doesn’t even let the older kids bully the answers out of her. She made them solve it,” the principal said as she ushered the two stunned adults of her office.

When they stepped out of the hallway, Asya’s surrounded by a bunch of older kids again. The adults stopped talking and just watched the interaction quietly. One of the kids saw them hovering and whispered to Asya. Asya looked up and beamed before excusing herself and flinging herself on her mother’s leg.

“Can we go to Stardust Diner mama?” Asya asked.

Nat picked up her little miracle, “you can go wherever you want moya Lyubov.”

Nat nodded towards the principal before walking away. Carol shook the woman’s hand before slipping towards her two favorite girls.

“What’s good at this Stardust Diner love?” Carol asked Asya over Nat’s shoulder.

Asya poked Carol’s nose, “oh you have so much to learn young Padawan.” Nat laughed heartily, Carol pouted.

***

Nat spoke to Tony about her meeting with the principal before dinner. They both decided to consult Asya regarding the matter. Personally, Tony doesn’t mind, Morgan took the Mensa when she was seven.

“You don’t have to take it now if you don’t want to,” Nat assured her.

Asya finished chewing her grilled chicken before speaking. “You said mom and Morgan took the same test, Uncle T?”

“Yes,” Tony started but was cut off by Asya vigorously nodding her ascent.

“The next Mensa test is in two weeks,” Morgan piped in.

***

For the next two weeks, Morgan without fail helps Asya study for the test. Tony administer short mock tests every after dinner. Sometime in the week, Bruce came down on the lake house too to help out. Nat and Carol can only watch her devour books, asks questions they can’t even phantom, and answer equations faster than even Bruce and Tony could. Tony is very confident she’s gonna do well but Nat is still worried.

“I’ll be okay, mama,” Asya said as Nat and Carol drop her off the examination room.

Before Nat could answer, Carol, kneel. “Of course you are, you’re the daughter of the two best humans I’ve ever met.”

Asya smiled before hugging Carol.

***

If there was any doubt that Asya was your daughter just by bearing your eyes and cheeky smile, Asya crushed them the moment the Mensa result was out.

Tony, Bruce, and Nat gaped at the paper.  

Asya has an IQ of 288 at five.

“What does that mean?” Carol asked while everyone just gaped at the laughing little girl while playing twister with Peter and Happy.

“It means she’s smarter than dad,” Morgan teased. Tony laughed, usually, she would take offense but since Asya’s her goddaughter and her second daughter too, so he let it slide. It wasn’t supposed to be a surprise, she’s your daughter and you were smarter than Reed Richards after all.

***

Seven

Amidst being a super genius, Nat opted to let Asya go through kindergarten to first grade. She knew you would have wanted your daughter to experience the joy of childhood, to play and act her age instead of her IQ.

Asya just turned seven the day prior, and Nat gave her one of the best gifts ever; full access to your lab. Asya just came from tinkering in the lab and staring at your pictures all afternoon when she walked in the kitchen and found Nat and Carol cooking together.

She just stayed quiet for a while and just watched her mother interact with Carol. Carol has been earth-based and living in the guest room at the lake house for two years now. It’s not even called the guest room anymore but Carol’s room.

Nat laughed at something Carol said. As far as stories from Uncle Clint goes, there has only been one person to make her mama laugh like that – you.

She knew all the stories about you from a handful of different people but she has always loved the stories Nat, Carol and Tony tell. She has watched your last holographic message for Nat a million of times too that she feels like knows you. She knows how much you loved Natasha, and vice versa; you would have loved for Natasha to move forward.

Instead of making her presence known, Asya quiet as her mama creeped out of the house and towards the tree. She climbed a couple of branches to reach what she deemed the most strategic branch to hide on, decompress, read your notes, and watch sunrise and sunsets. She has climbed the same branches for years now, opting to hang in there whenever she feels lonely or overwhelmed. It has been her sanctuary for years.

“Everything okay?” Nat yelled from the ground.

Asya looked down and saw her mother’s green eyes. Asya has read all your journals since she found where Nat stashed them when she was six. She read how much you’ve loved Nat's green eyes, and she does too.

“Yes mama,” she answered politely. “Just thinking.”

Nat laughed. Not only did Asya took on your eyes, cheeky smile, quirky personality, she also took on some your habits, even robbed of the chance to meet you. You’ve always been one to seclude yourself when you need to think. For you, it has always been the lab. For Asya, it has always been the tree.

“Well, dinner's in half an hour. Come down and get cleaned up,” Nat said.

“lyublyu tebya, mama,” Asya yelled.

Nat laughed quietly, caressed the trunk and whispered, “I love you both.”

***

Asya was accelerated to 8th grade that year and with full access to your lab, she has gotten good with robotics, mechanical engineering, and computer science particularly in coding. At seven and a half, she already made her own AI from scratch just like J.A.R.V.I.S and F.R.I.D.A.Y, which she calls Echo. She had access to a huge range of video recordings of you that she was able to code Echo to sound like you.

Nat was impressed and proud after she got over the initial shock of hearing your voice again. Asya has also finished the design upgrade for Nat's widow bite.

“For when you’re going on missions with Aunt Carol,” Asya said one night after she sneaked inside Nat's room for some cuddles. No matter how old she gets, Asya has always loved cuddling her mother for no other reason than she just loves her so much and she’s her best friend.

Nat inspected the weapon. “Where'd you get this?”

Asya cuddled closer to her chest. “Mom was building an upgraded one in the lab, I finished it for her and also for me.”

Nat leaned back a little to look at her daughter. “What do you mean?”

“So I know that you’ll always come home to me mama,” she said smiling.

“I’ll always come home to you, I promise.”

Asya went back to cuddling her. They fell asleep just like that, peaceful in each other’s arms.

***

Nat has started working a few jobs at S.H.I.E.L.D again now that Asya’s seven. Asya agreed only under the condition that Nat will always be partnered with Carol. Today though, Nat was sent on a simple surveillance mission with Clint rendering her unable to pick up Asya at school; which means it’s Carol’s turn.

“Hey love,” Carol waved the moment Asya burst out of the school door. Asya runs and barreled towards her in a hug.

“Hey, Car. Where’s mama?”

Carol opened the car door for Asya. “Director Fury needed her today."

“Without you?” Asya asked frowning after she fastened her seat belt.

“She’s with Uncle Clint. You trust Uncle Clint, right?”

“I do but I rest easier when I know she’s with you,” Asya answered as she watches the other children in the playground.

Carol turned on her seat. “I know love, I worry about her too but I trust Clint will protect her with his life, the way I would.”

Asya looked back at Carol, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips.

“What?” asked Carol. Suddenly she’s a little nervous. Asya’s smirk reminds Carol so much of you before you launched into some crazy idea.

“You got a crush,” Asya said flatly. Carol blushed profusely that Asya didn’t believe her when she tried to deny it vehemently.

“What? I..I don’t know what you’re talking about, silly girl,” Carol stuttered and tried to cover her nervousness with a laugh.

“I won't tell her, I promise,” Asya teased giggling.

Carol huffed before starting the engine. “You won’t tell no one because there��s nothing to tell,” she said.

“Okay,” Asya sing-songed cheekily.

Carol reversed out of the parking lot. “No Stardust diner for you, young Sith,” Carol said pouting which just confirmed Asya’s accusation and made her laugh harder.

***

Nat arrived from her mission two days after. It was an early Saturday morning when Carol was awoken by a loud thud. Carol came thundering down the stairs to check what happened, only to find Nat slumped on the couch. Nat turned her head and smiled as she watches Carol ran her eyes over her body to check for any injury. Carol looked up at her eyes and smiled when she deemed Nat wasn’t injured.

“Mission too rough without me, huh?” Carol teased.

“Not really,” Nat answered while Carol quirks an eyebrow in her direction.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I just missed Asya and you all the time,” Nat blurted out. Carol smiled before plopping down the couch and laying down.

“What are you doing?” Nat asked.

“It’s too early, come nap with me,” Carol patted the space beside her and smiled.

Nat chuckled before laying her head on Carol’s bicep and pressing her back against the other woman’s front. Carol tried not to squirm as Nat gets comfortable. When the redhead settled down, Carol snaked her other arm around Nat’s body and cuddled her. Carol’s perpetually warm, Nat didn’t have a choice but to succumb to the comfort and safety she offers.

***

Asya woke up an hour later. Little feet too light on the floorboards she was able to get to the first floor without waking anyone up. Except when she entered the common living room Tony was already standing by the couch and quietly sipping his coffee. Asya walked quietly beside Tony to see what he’s looking at.

“You know about this?” Tony whispered.

“Yes,” Asya answered simply before pulling Tony’s phone out and snapping a quick picture of her mother cuddling with Carol before walking towards the kitchen. “Email it to me, Uncle T.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Ammunition purposes,” Asya joked and Tony chuckled. She truly is your daughter.

“So you’re okay with it?” Tony said while popping bread in the toaster. Asya was inspecting the content of the fridge.

“Echo put blueberries on Mama’s grocery list,” she said softly.

Recently, she and Morgan successfully made a subdermal communication device with a built-in Echo and F.R.I.D.A.Y. With Nat and Tony’s consent, they were the first to use the implants as well.

“To answer your question, yes I’m okay with it,” Asya answered after pulling out the orange marmalade jam.

“You think mom would mind?” Asya continued.

Tony was quiet for a moment, then he glanced at the two sleeping women on the couch. “No, I think she would have approved.”

“I think so too. I think mom would want them to be happy,” Asya whispered before the toasts jumped out of the machine.

***

Nat noted the slight tension on Carol’s shoulder every time she caught Asya watching her like a hawk and smirking here and there. Nat also noted how Carol seems to stiffen up when Asya decided to sit on the other side of her, squeezing her in between mother and daughter.

“Love what are you doing?” Carol whispered when Nat went to refill their popcorn after the first movie.

“Ask her out,” Asya said laying her head on Carol’s lap.

“Why would I do that?” Carol asked frustrated but still running her fingers through Asya’s red hair.

“Don’t you love her?”

“I do,” Carol whisper yelled. Asya’s smirked grew bigger, then Carol realized what she just said. She clamped her mouth shut before she forgets she’s talking to an actual genius on a fishing expedition.

“Then what does the strongest Avenger got to lose?”

“You,” Carol admitted. “If I tell Nat my feelings and things get awkward... I just can’t lose you both. You two are my only connection to Y/N.”

Asya read your history with Carol and Carol has always been upfront with her. Carol was in love with you, she always has been.

Asya raised her hand to caress Carol’s soft cheeks. “If the stories about mom were true, I know mom would want you for mama. She wouldn’t think of anyone better suited for the Black Widow than Captain Marvel herself.”

“You don’t know that,” Carol countered.

“Car, my mom wanted nothing more than to keep mama safe and happy. She gave up her life for that cause, and from where I’m standing, you’ve been doing all that for the past seven years. I love mom with all my heart but she’s not here but you and mama are, and both of you deserve to be happy again.”

“Since when did you get so smart?” Carol asked sniffling.

Asya laughed, “since birth.”

Nat came back with three bowls of popcorn and saw Carol and Asya cuddling. The sight of the two getting along never fails to warm her heart. She guesses whatever it is that was hanging over them the past few days has already been cleared up.

***

Two weeks later, Nat was at home when she received an encrypted message from Echo that contains only a coordinate. Her mother’s instinct instantly kicked in. Thinking something might have happened to Asya, she hastily put on her Black Widow uniform and rode her bike to the location. Her heart is beating as fast as she’s driving.

The location was a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Nat parked her bike and noted movement inside the cabin. Not wasting one more minute, she burst in the cabin with her guns only to be met by Carol on her Captain Marvel uniform and arms raised and ready to blast her.

“Nat?”

“Car?”

They instantly lowered their weapons.

“What are you doing here? Is Asya here? Echo sent me the coordinates to this cabin...” Nat questions before their phones chimed again with a message from Echo.

Go around the back. – A.

Nat and Carol looked at each other. Nat’s genuinely confused, while Carol had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Nat stomped her way to the back of the house with Carol close behind. When they burst out of the back porch, they’re met by the loveliest dinner table set up.

Nat furrowed her brow. Carol instantly paled.

The lovely little shit, Carol thought.

Then Carol’s phone started ringing, it’s Asya.

“Love? What is happening?” Carol greeted. Nat crossed her arm protectively around herself.

“Yesterday, Aunt Wanda said some agent asked mama out,” Asya started. “Now, make your move before she says yes to someone else.”

An agent? They got some balls! Which agent is it? I want their names, Carol mused inside her head.

“Also, everyone helped me out with this plan. Don’t duck it up.”

Carol wanted to berate her for almost using a bad language but the line went dead faster than lightning.

“Well?” Nat asked.

“She’s okay,” Carol stammered.

She didn’t know what to say, she’s running out of time. The prospect of someone else coming in Nat and Asya’s life makes Carol’s powers to go bubbling up to the surface. She had to close her eyes and remember the breathing exercise Wanda thought her to get it under control.

***

Before Nat can ask what Carol was doing, her phone started ringing next.

“Asya Romanova – Y/L/N, what’s the meaning of this?” Nat tried not to let her frustration seep through.

“Izvini (I’m sorry), mama,” Asya knew her mother enough to know she’s frustrated. Nat knows her daughter enough to know she’s sporting her sheepish look at that moment.

“I just wanna understand,” Nat walked a few steps away from Carol.

“You’ve taken care of everyone for the longest time, mama. You lost the one you love the most trying to give everyone their happiness back,” Asya started.

“You’re the one I love the most, next to your mom,” Nat interrupted.

“I know, mama and you will always be ours. And because of that, I want you to be happier,” Asya explained.

Nat turned around, eyeing Carol kicking her boots on the ground.

“Asya are you setting me up with Carol?” Nat whispered.

Asya laughed on the other end. “I have eyes mama, you like her,” Asya teased. Nat tried not to blush for being caught red-handed by her seven-year-old daughter.

“I do but,”

“No more buts, mama. You’re allowed to love again,” Asya interrupted.

“I love you so much kid,” is all Nat could say.

“I love you too. Now go enjoy your night. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Asya said before hanging up.

***

Nat walked back to Carol with a soft smile on her face.

“So?” Carol asked, clearly nervous.

“Asya said you have something to ask me,” Nat asked; poker face intact. Carol internally cussed.

“I...” Carol swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “I just wanted to ask if you Uhm... you know?”

Nat raised her perfect eyebrow. Carol sighed, Nat’s not gonna make it easy for her.

“I just wanted to ask if you wanna go on a date with me soon,” Carol rushed out in one breath,  blushing from head to toe.

Nat burst out laughing. Carol crossed her arms and pouted. When Nat got a hold of her laughter, she stepped close to Carol and put a hand on her chest. Carol swallowed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just Peter said, he saw some stuff on the internet,” Nat said before she started laughing again.

“What did he saw?”

“People, on the internet,” Nat said between giggles. “They call you daddy.”

Carol choked on nothing, Nat leaned in to kiss her cheek. “If they can only see you now, fumbling over your words asking the Black Widow out,” Nat husked near her ear before pulling away and going inside the cabin.

“Hey! That’s not fair! Have you seen yourself?” Carol complained.

That only fuelled Nat to laugh some more. “Get the food in here, change out of your uniform, and come cuddle with me. I’m sure Stark has Netflix even in the wilderness,” Nat yelled halfway inside the house.

***

Carol can’t help but smile before hauling the food inside. True enough, there was Netflix in the cabin. Nat chose a movie called, Lights out. Carol wasn’t paying attention because all she can focus on was Nat’s weight against her side, Nat’s head on her shoulder, Nat’s hand on her chest. All her senses are honed on Nat and Nat alone.

When the movie ended, they were too tired to move from the couch that they decided to just sleep there. Same position as last time, Carol between Nat and the back of the couch. Only this time, Nat has her head on Carol’s chest.

“Goodnight,” Nat whispered.

“Goodnight,” Carol whispered back.

She turned her head a little bit to kiss Nat on her forehead just in time with Nat turning her head upwards. Carol froze when her lips landed on Nat’s but relaxed when she felt Nat moved. They kissed softly in the dark for a couple of minutes, it was tender not rushed.

Nat pulled away first and Carol just pulled her towards her body and let the quiet of the woods lull them to sleep. Maybe this wasn’t the life they both envisioned to be, maybe there wasn’t any grand moment to know that they were heading here but it certainly felt right.

[fluffymcu]

In the mood (ler!tony x lee!reader)

@hapileestark

Request: tony is in a major ler mood and tickles reader

Warning: none

You walked into Tony’s lab to see what he was doing. He hadn’t acknowledged you yet, so you assumed he hadn’t heard you come in. So you decided to scare him.

You positioned yourself behimd him and took a silent deep breath but before you could move another inch, he turned around to face you at lighting speed.

“BOO!” He yelled. You screamed and feel on your ass while he sat there with his hand holding his stomach, laughing his head off. “Aw man, what a plot twist. That was hilarious.” You glared at him and stood up, deciding to let it go and change the subject.

“What are you doing?” You asked as he got back to work.

“Trying to recalibrate the sensors on this thing. Bruce will be back in an hour to check on some chemicals he was working on.” You glances around the lab to finally see some vials 🧪 out in the open on a table.

“Umm isn’t it dangerous to leave chemicals out in the open?” You asked nervously. Tony chuckled and looked at you reassuringly.

“Trust me, Bruce knows better. If he left them out then that means it isn’t toxic or dangerous to us. Not every chemical is deadly to be around or breath in, ya know. So I think we’ll be okay-are you wearing a crop top?” You glanced down at what you were wearing and both finally realized you were wearing a crop top. A blush crept up to your cheeks and you crossed your arms.

“ I’m not wearing it for you.” You started. Tony narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?” You nodded. “Are you sure sure?” You nodded again. Tony smirked and stood up and started walking forwards you. “I think you’re lying.” He stated.

Before you realized it, you were backed up against a wall. You wrapped your arms around your exposed midsection, even though you knew that would do nothing if tony wanted to tickle you. And you didn’t mind, you wanted to be tickled too. But you honestly didn’t realize you had a crop top on. You should’ve known better,though. Things like crop tops, bare feet, and teasing always provoked tony to get in the mood. But sometimes, when you got to your limit, you’d have to scream out your safe word like 3 times until he would realize and give you a break. So excuse you if you were now letting out nervous giggles.

“Anxious now, are we?” He smirked at you and reached out to grab around your midsection. You halfheartedly blocked him and he sighed. “Y/n, do I have to get you pinned down?” Not a second later, he called in mark 42 and soon enough your wrist were pinned to the wall by a metal arm. “Great! Now, where should we start? Oh! How about here?” He said as he squeezed up and down your sides, eliciting a long stream of hysterical giggles.

“Tohohohony!” You squirmed around as much as you could since you knew there would be no escape from a metal suit’s grip. “IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES!”

Tony chortled and sped up his antics. “Well, I would hope that it does; otherwise, this would be quite pointless.” He switched to pinching harshly at your hips making you squeal.

“NOHOHOHO!” You were getting close to your limit and prayed he would take it easy on you, knowing that it was extremely unlikely.

Tony was now feeling around your neck and ears, making you choke on your laughter. You kicked out and you were now actually trying to escape. Tony chuckled at your struggles and prodded at your thighs. “You’re not gettin’ out y/n/n. You’re unable to free yourself. So why not just relax and let it happen?” He teased.

“IHIHIHI CAHAHANT! IHITS TOHOO MUHUHUCH!” You couldn’t take much more, and your voice was getting hoarse.

“We’ll, you’re gonna have to take more cause I’m not done yet.” You internally cursed and let out a scream when he bent down and blew a raspberry right under your belly button. “You’re so cute when you do that.” He laughed fondly.

He continued to blow raspberries on your belly until you were red. Tony finally let you catch your breath, occasionally poking your belly or your armpit just so see you tense up.

After a few minutes, mark 42 finally let you go and you dropped to the floor and rubbed off the residual tingles on your... everywhere. Tony bent down to kiss you gently on the cheek and went to sit back down to resume his work.

Just then, Bruce walked back in to check on his vials and saw at your exhausted form. He decided to ignore his urge to ask what had happened, since he had an idea while you got up and sat next to tony and rested your head on his shoulder. Soon, with the sound of both boys fidgeting around and working, you fell into a deep sleep that satisfied you when you woke up.

[chalantness]

Are you taking prompts? If yes, then batcat with 1, 27, 41 ❤

+ “bruce and selina 21, 29, 39” requested by an anon + “Hey, for Six Sexy Words, could I please get BatCat with 26? Thanks so much!” requested by @floydianslip76 + “now that Helena is showing up in a way, could you one for the trope prompts where Selina tells Bruce she is pregnant, like it would make me so happy! love your writing trope meme

1. Come see how wet I am. + 21. Have I mentioned that you’re beautiful? + 26. Straddling him while lowering yourself down. + 27. I can’t wait until later. Now. + 29. Come back to bed. I’m waiting. + 39. I have more to give you. + 41. Pleasing yourself while your partner watches.

She’d fallen asleep before he came home, and you’d think that meant he might sleep in a little this morning.

But her husband is a creature of habit, so she’s not at all surprised when she finds his side of the bed empty in the morning, the covers drawn and smoothed down and his pillows set perfectly in place. Of course. He must’ve just come back from his morning run, because she can hear the shower running, and a glance over at the suit laid out on the armchair in the corner of the room has a frown pulling at her lips. She doesn’t remember him mentioning that he had an early meaning, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s had something moved up suddenly, or that he’d simply forgotten to tell her. And on any other morning she wouldn’t have minded. She’d watch him get ready as they chatted about nothing in particular, and then he’d leave her with a kiss and a promise that they’ll meet her at their favorite place in the city for lunch.

This morning is different, though. She knows he hadn’t planned on staying at the bar with Clark for as long as they did last night, but still. She planned on sharing the news with him and she still does, only now she feels like messing with him a little for making her wait. She can’t imagine he’ll be all that upset, anyway.

She nudges the covers down her legs and lets them fall open, slips her fingers over the front of her panties and touches herself as she imagines her husband standing in the shower only a few feet away. She’s always a little more sensitive first thing in the morning, and with the clean, crisp scent of Bruce’s body wash trailing through the air, it takes nothing at all for her to feel herself getting wet. A thrill rolls down her spine when she hears the shower switch off and she thinks of Bruce walking out here to find her like this, her slip pushed halfway up her stomach and her other hand tucked under, thumb finding her tight nipple. She can picture the way his jaw will tick, the way his eyes will flash as her husband tries in vain to hold his composure, and knowing that she’ll crack right through that thin veil of self-restraint only makes her feel all the more aroused.

Her husband is the most stubborn, most disciplined man she’s ever met, but with her, he’s so willing to give into his impulses. Only with her.

She hears his soft steps padding across the tile, hears him whip the towel off of the rack to wrap around his waist, and she bites on the inside of her cheek to keep from smirking when he walks out and into their bedroom. She has her eyes closed, but it’s not hard to picture the look on his face, the way his lips part ever so slightly and the way his broad shoulder go rigid as he stops in place.

“Selina,” he says, voice tight and soft and rough, and she presses just so over her clit through her panties and exhales a moan. “Fucking–”

She almost shivers when the curse falls past his lips, and she licks her own as she turns her head, letting her eyes flutter open. His towel is dangerously low on his hips, his chest still wet and his hair damp and pushed off to one side, and his eyes are stormy and dark, fixed on where her fingers are stroking herself. She rolls her nipple between her thumb and her finger and his eyes snap up to catch the movement through her silk slip.

“Come back to bed,” she says, bending one leg up at the knee and spreading herself a little wider. His throat flexes in a swallow, his eyes darting across her body as if lost, and it would be hilarious if she wasn’t otherwise preoccupied. “Come see how wet I am.”

His jaw flexes as he narrows his eyes at her. “I have a meeting,” he rasps, a hand coming up to rub down his face. “You couldn’t have…”

“Waited?” she finishes, tucking her fingers under the waistband, mewling at the wetness she finds, at how much more sensitive it feels without the lace in the way, and Bruce grunts. “I waited all night, and I can’t wait until later.” She finds her tiny bundle of nerves, rubbing, and her neck arches as her ships jut slightly off of the bed, her gaze still holding his. “Now.”

In a blink, Bruce is crossing the distance between them and climbing onto the bed, his body covering hers and a low growl rumbling from his chest as he kisses her. He slips a hand into her panties, curves it over hers and slips their fingers together as they continue to stroke, and her breath hitches, her vision going blurry at the edges with pleasure as she stares up at him. He draws away and gives her this small, barely-there smirk, and her eyes dart down to where his length is growing harder against his thigh, his towel long forgotten on the floor.

Then she looks back up to find Bruce peering down at her, his smirk softening at the edges, and somehow, she’s not surprised when he murmurs, “God, you’re beautiful.” He dips his head down, curves his fingers and sinks two into her, and she gasps into their kiss as his hand traps her own fingers against her clit with his strokes. “Have I mentioned that you’re beautiful?”

Always. He always says this to her, with that some tone of awe in his voice, and you’d think a girl would grow used to it by hearing it so often.

But her heart flutters in her chest every damn time, and she hopes that sensation never, ever fades.

“Give me your pleasure, darling,” he murmurs against her lips, working his fingers faster, finding that sweet spot inside of her that makes her shake.

“I have more to give you,” she breathes, and he must hear something in her tone because he tilts his head ever so slightly, a question in his eyes. But he doesn’t slow his fingers for a second, and, okay, maybe this isn’t exactly how she should be telling him this, but if she doesn’t get the words out now, she may not even remember them after.

He looks amused. “And what is that?”

“A child,” she breathes out, staring up into his eyes, and she watches his expression falter at her words as his hand stops entirely. She whimpers, hips rolling up against him, seeking friction again, but she knows he’s too distracted. She can’t exactly blame him. He exhales a sharp breath, searching her eyes as she holds his gaze, and she knows he sees the sincerity in her expression. He knows she’s being serious right now, even as she squirms against his fingers, her body right on the brink of her orgasm. Damn him.

She takes the moment of hesitation to lunge, pushing him forward and rolling them over, and her legs are shaking ever so slightly as they straddle his hips, his length hard against the inside of her thigh. He stares up at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and her heart flutters in her stomach. She’s never seen him look quite so… young before.

Elated.

“You’re–”

She kisses him, grasps his length and positions him at her entrance, and they’re both moaning as she sinks down on him. “Yes,” she breathes, starting to rock her hips as she grinds into him, her orgasm once again starting to tingle down her spine as she rides him, slow and teasing.

“Selina, we…” He groans, head tipping back against the pillows as his hands tighten at her hips, thrusting shallowly up into her, distracted. “We need to…”

“Talk about this?” she guesses, bracing a hand on his chest and moving her hips a little faster, spine arching as her body shudders. “Should I stop?”

He doesn’t answer, exhaling a laugh instead as his hand slips between her legs to find her tight, throbbing clit, and she tips her head back to let out a moan.

For her, he’d make the rest of the world wait.

[m00nslippers]

The reason of why I will never be able to read UTRH and only watch it's movie, it's that Jason drawn in comic like if he is in his late forties. He actually looks older than Bruce. I love the movie and feel like it's bad that I didn't read the comic only because of art, but it's so. Whenever I see panels from it I just can't not squirm(

Well I can definitely see that, when the art is bad it can make a comic unreadable to me. So much of Jason’s artistic portrayals show him looking freaking 40 when he’s supposed to be 19 or 20. The art in general for Under the Hood is actually very good to me but yeah, Jason looks super old. A lot of the time he does have his helmet on though so that helps a little?

But I would definitely try hard to overlook it to read the comics, if I were you. The movie is quite similar but Black Mask and David Li are freaking hilarious in Under the Hood (they replaced Li with a woman, which I understand but they didn’t give her any of Li’s dialogue which is freaking comedy gold so you’re really missing out) and you get more with Black Mask in general and the comic ends slightly differently. In the movie Bruce throws a batarang at his hand and in the comic he throws it at his neck and nearly freaking kills him. Someone on tumblr wrote an analysis on why the comic ending is superior and necessary, even if the movie ending seems ‘nicer’, and I really wish I could remember the post so you guys could read it.

[footballffbarbiex]

Can I request a Roman imagine where him and the girl “hate each other” like theyre always sarcastic and fighting but bc they’re in the same company they cant get away from each other but they also can’t wait to go out bc it’s thrilling to fight and one night she’s absent and Roman is disappointed but tries to hide it and texts her “to annoy her” but hes curious and finds out that shes on a date and is getting jealous ever since and you chose the ending (but a happy one pls)

Foreplay. 

At the start, there was something about Roman that she hated. She couldn’t put her finger on it but there was something that just got under her skin with him. She hated his smug smile, the shirts that were a little too tight but loose enough to not appear as though he wants the tight look. His shirts cling to his arms, to his chest and give a perfect impression of his flat, toned stomach. While usually, she’d be happy to look at him, the mere sight of him angered her.

And of course, Roman loved it.

He took pride in watching her squirm. He loved knowing that his presence alone angered her beyond words. He’d purposely get dressed, wearing the shirts that he saw her seethe the most when she spotted them. He always made sure to flash her the cheesiest of grins her way, put on an extra happy and cheerful tone and always address her first. He didn’t know what he’d done to piss her off but it was fun.

Once her guard slipped, she snapped at him. Roman, who had had one too many drinks that night and was in a relatively childish mood found it hilarious. “Awww, is my baby getting mad.”“I’m not your baby,” she’d glared at him. “Really? You’re acting like a big one right now. Poor baby.” He’d grinned and she’d wanted to wipe the smug look from his face.

It quickly became their thing. Their friends would invite them out and they’d bicker. Roman enjoyed it, enjoyed the way she tried not to soften around him but with each new insult and jibe that she threw his way, he saw the smile. He saw the way she looked at him and knew that her ill feelings towards him were melting away each time they saw each other.  She enjoyed this as much as he did. She’d sit near him, challenge him to shots and he noticed that her clothes, whilst never prudish, but her clothes certainly get his attention more.

Knowing he was seeing her gave him a boost as he got ready. He showered, got ready and wore the aftershave that he knew made her eyes go all funny when she smelt it. He said she looked like Bruce the shark on Finding Nemo when he smells the blood and becomes hungry. He recognised the look of lust instantly and knew he’d gotten to her so decided to wear it ever since. He couldn’t deny she was attractive, and she pulled at him and truthfully, he wanted her. He was falling for her slowly.

By the time Roman gets to the meeting point everyone is there but her. He knows a lot of the time she arrives late, so this isn’t new to him but it’s still a kicker. He orders and puts her drink at the side of him, ignoring the looks of the others as he does so and throws himself into the conversations. It’s not until he’s going for another drink that he realises she’s still not here. “I’m going to drink your drink….” He types out a text message and includes a picture of it. “Do it.” She replies back. “At least one of us will enjoy it.”“Well, that’s why it’s waiting for you. You’re incredibly late. It’s almost rude when I’ve bought you this.” He replies, a smile creeping onto his face as he types. “I’m not coming, didn’t they tell you? Drink up bub, I’d hate for it to be wasted.” She replies.

Roman frowns. “She’s not coming?” He asks the group, “and you knew but didn’t say?”“Is that why you’re looking extra pretty today? Because you thought she was coming?” Marc laughs and Roman casts him a look. Marc was one of her friends and though Roman tolerates him for her sake, he thinks he’s obnoxious. “I didn’t realise she wouldn’t be.” He shrugs and pulls her drink in front of him. “Well you didn’t expect her to bring her date here did you?”

Without realising, he becomes disengaged once the words are out there. She’s on a date. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, especially because he’d always overheard her saying she wasn’t looking to date anyone or be in a relationship yet. It was the main reason he hadn’t asked her out on one, because he didn’t want to be shot down or laughed at for it.

Roman watches their lips moving, sees them laughing but it’s as though everything is in slow motion. He sips her drink before he can’t hold back any longer. “A date huh?” He texts her.

“Took you long enough to build up the courage to ask.” He can picture her smug smile and her raised eyebrow and he hates himself for smiling. “I didn’t want to get my heart broken but here we are, with me drowning my sorrows in your beverage.”“Broken heart my ass. You just don’t have anyone to pick on tonight.” His smile gets bigger as he reads her reply but can’t help but respond with “your date must be going good if you’re still talking to me. Pretty quickly too. How rude of you to still be on your phone?”

He watches as she types and stops. Types and stops. Types and stops. She wants to say something, but he’s got her there. No-one on a good date checks their phone much less reply instantly. She’s having a shit time and he knows it. He won’t even hide his happiness at this. He loads snapchat and clicks on the map, spotting her icon immediately and it’s not that far away. Looking around the table, no one is really talking to him anymore and a thought crosses his mind. Lifting her glass to his lips, he downs the rest of the drink and excuses himself to no one in particular before moving out from the table and heads out of the door.

It takes him less than ten minutes to walk there and he finds himself lingering outside the bar. Through the window, he can see it’s busy and spots her through the thick of it. He blames the alcohol, but he can’t stop his heart from beating a little quicker or the excited feeling that bubbles up inside of him when he looks at her. She looks bored, but the bored look that he knows. To someone who may not know her as well, she looks interested. She’s smiling and nodding but it’s knee jerk reactions, not genuine ones. Stepping through the door, he sidesteps many who are leaving and manages to stand close enough to catch her attention but far enough away not to be eavesdropping.

She notices him and tries to keep her expression neutral, nodding her head a little more and trying not to look over her date’s shoulder and at Roman. He notices her lips twitching, desperate to smile but she keeps it in check. He watches as she smiles and says something to him, holding up one finger in a “one minute” way and grabs her bag.

She marches over to Roman and grabs his arm, pushing him out into the beer garden. “What are you doing here?”“Watching you fake it. I wouldn’t have had you done as a faker.”“Shut up.” She hisses and looks around, “how did you know I was here?”“Snapchat.” He grins. “Why are you here? You look bored as. You could have been having fun with me and you said you didn’t want to date anyone.”“Are you jealous little Ro Ro?” She pouts. “Maybe I am. What of it?”“Why?” She asks, her brows furrowing but her expression is one he hasn’t seen with her yet. “Because I like you, dumbass. I got all dressed up for you and you weren’t even there to tell me I looked pretty. Marc had to tell me, and it wasn’t as satisfying.” He grins as she laughs. “So yeah, I’m jealous. Enough to try and sabotage this date.” He looks over her and he knows he’s winning. “Coooooome oooooon,” he says in a sing-song voice. “You’re bored, I miss you, we could go and get some food and I’ll even call it a non-date. Let me take you out. Please?” “Let me go back and tell h-”“Text him on the way for food. He won’t let you go otherwise.”“How do you know? And anyway, that’s mean!”“Because I wouldn’t let you go if you tried to do a runner on my date. It is but I’m winning so I don’t care.”“Is that what this is to you?” She narrows her eyes, “winning? And why now?”“No. It’s about finally getting a date with the girl who pretends to hate me but secretly loves me and I’m determined to show her a different side to us. And why now? Because I’m tired of this foreplay with us and I want something else.”“And what side is that?” “One where you find me irresistible and you drop your stubborn streak to admit it’s true and you let me make you happy.”“You don’t ask for much do you?” She laughs, slipping her arm through his. “It’s just food. For now.”“For now.” She agrees, knowing Roman all too well. This was just the start and if she’s being honest, she tells herself “finally.”

_________________

Forever tags: @starkrogerspls , @neymarlionelmessi7 , @elle-aaron , @rafinhasmarco, @djikhead, @kxndrixx , @pasate-la-acuarela, @imakemyselfcringe , @leduqdefoot , @fangirlinsince1998 , @fcbarcafics , @paul–pogba , @msgem , @grizifc , @xxsophie-raabxx , @stxnesy , @degea-drama-llama ,  @jxmesr10 , @evie-pr , @i-ship-it-okay  @softstonsey  @pau-dybala, @antoine-james,

Roman: @roberto-firminos, @iuliaaa21 , @romanisbaex

bold and struck out doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it just means tumblr can’t find you. If you’ve changed your username and wish to still be tagged, please let me know.

[sassycassie-s-writing]

A Perfect Moment

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam - Jason Todd/Red Hood

Rating: G

Original Idea: Lots of old imagine your OTP things that involve hammocks

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) Just a fluffy piece because why not? @welovegroot @batboys-and-other-messes

^^^^^

There had never been a more perfect moment.

The warm sun beat down on a rare clear day in the middle of Gotham summer. The heat was pleasant, but not stifling. There was a cool breeze blowing over the backyard. The grass had been freshly mowed and its scent drifted around on the breeze. A stream bubbled off in the woods beyond the yard somewhere. Birds were singing. Everything felt peaceful.

Jason had one arm behind his head, the other thrown carelessly over my back as I laid on his chest in the hammock. Both of us had on shorts and T-shirts. We were barefoot and our hair was soft and sun-warmed. Jason's hand flung across my back was stroking the ends of my hair distractedly. One of my arms was on the edge of the hammock. My other hand under Jason's neck.

He had one leg out of the hammock to push us back and forth, gently, as he watched the clouds.

Our phones were under the hammock in the shade, so the sun wouldn't destroy them even though the hammock was pitched in the shade of a tree. Jason's was turned off and mine was quietly playing the local radio station that played music for most of the day.

Jason hummed along to the song. I could feel it vibrate in his chest against my cheek.

"How long has it been since we had time to relax like this?" I asked softly.

Jason twisted some of my hair around his fingers. "Long time," he answered thoughtfully. "Feels good."

I grunted in agreement, twisting some of his hair around my fingers.

"Where's the rest of your family?"

"Out doing an interview for some charity thing B set up. But technically I'm still dead so I get to stay behind. With you."

"How long will they be gone?"

"Hopefully six hours. Some interviews take forever. 'Keeping Up with the Waynes' they should call it."

I chuckled. "That'd be quite the reality show. Imagine the camera crew trying to keep up with Dick or Damian---or anyone---out on patrol."

"Oh, that'd be impossible. But hilarious." There was a smile in his voice even though I couldn't see his face since my head was on his chest and I looked out over the yard. Jason stroked my hair again. "Have I mentioned that I love you today?" he asked.

"Today? Only maybe twice."

"Did I get a kiss from either of them?"

"I can't remember. Probably not."

"Well. Third time's the charm, right?"

"Right," I said.

"I love you. And only you, my darling," he said, planting a kiss in my hair.

I tilted my head up to see his face and grinned. "I love you too," I replied, wiggling up in the hammock enough to kiss his lips and then go back to my comfortable spot on his chest.

A breeze blew over the yard again, playing with our hair and T-shirts.

Jason sighed, breath fluttering the hair on the top of my head. "I wish I could live in this peace forever," he said.

I smiled wistfully. "Me too."

"But at least we have right now to always look back on," Jason mused.

"Yeah," I agreed. "This feels so good."

Jason rocked the hammock lightly again, still playing with the ends of my hair. "Mmhmm."

"Does it feel good? To be home, I mean?"

I heard Jason's head turn to look at the manor house. "You know what? It does. There was a time I was desperate to scrub this place from my heart. I desperately wanted to find somewhere else to call home. But now that I've repaired some old burning bridges, it feels comforting. Welcoming. It feels like home again. I'll never be the Jason I was before I died again, but right now I feel as close as possible."

"And you like the feeling?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm glad."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" I asked.

"Does it feel good to be here?"

"Absolutely."

"Mmm…" Jason hummed, pushing the hammock back-and-forth so we swung gently. "I'm glad. Because there's no one on the planet who I'd rather spend this moment with."

"Me neither."

I squirmed to give him another kiss. He kissed me back softly, the hand behind his head reaching around to hold onto the side of my face and thread his long fingers through my hair. The breeze blew again. I sighed in contentment into the kiss.

Once we both pulled away, I relaxed against his chest and started to drift in and out of consciousness. The wind was gentle, the rocking of the hammock was pleasant, and it seemed like a perfect moment to take a nap on Jason's chest and bathe in the sun's warmth and the quiet music playing from my phone. Jason's hand playing with my hair was soothing and his humming in his chest lulled me to sleep.

My nap wasn't exactly a nap. I wasn't entirely asleep. I could still hear the music and Jason's heartbeat, but every so often the song would skip far forward or change completely. Jason's heartbeat had decreased and his breathing was deeper. He was snoozing too.

^^^^^

Giggling.

"Shhh! You're going to wake them!"

"Stop pushing me!"

"How long has it been since they even had a decent sleep?"

Indistinct whispering.

"Just take a picture and leave them alone!"

"No, Damian! Put the rope down." That was Dick.

Did I want to know why Damian had a rope and what he was considering doing with it?

"Boys, stop it." That was Bruce's voice.

More giggling.

"Shhh!"

"Wait. Wait a second. Is she asleep too? I can't tell?"

"B, should we wake them up for dinner?"

"Or to inform Todd that he's sunburnt his face?"

"Tim, did you take the picture?"

"Guys, be quiet!"

More indistinct whispering. I thought I heard a camera shutter from a cell phone. I shuffled slightly on Jason's chest, still trapped under his arm and surrounded by warmth. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or awake. I wasn't sure if I was entirely awake or still asleep. My brain was sluggish and not processing very well.

I felt more than heard someone kneel next to the hammock. "Hey you two," Dick prompted gently, shaking my shoulder and Jason's lightly. "It's time for dinner. Want to come inside? Or do you want to keep sleeping?"

Jason wiggled a little. I felt him take a deep breath, waking up. Yup. I was definitely awake. "Wha'?" he slurred.

"Dinner, little wing," Dick repeated. "Wanna come in and eat with us or do you want us to save something for you guys if you just want to keep sleeping?"

I sat up groggily. "Go in," I mumbled. "Now that I've royally messed up my sleep schedule by sleeping during the daytime."

Jason chuckled under me. He sat up too and held me tightly in his arms like I was a teddy bear. "Okay," he agreed. "We'll be right in."

The rest of the Wayne family filed back inside, leaving us alone again. It wasn't significantly darker outside---thank heavens for summer's longer days---than it had been when we began our nap, but I could feel the hours that passed in the stiffness of my muscles.

"Well," Jason said. "It was perfect while it lasted. Hungry?"

"Yup."

[forever-more-never-again]

Invisible Bruises

I wrote this expecting it to be a short drabble but then I got carried away, seems to be a trend in my writings. oops. Angst to start but it ends in fluff.

Avengers X Reader

Warnings: Depicts a mental and physically abusive relationship and unwanted pregnancy. Swearing and name calling

Word Count ~ 2500 words

a/n: Please know that people love you and are here to help through any rough patches

“Don’t.”

The single word, spoken with such disdain froze me. My arms outstretched to grab the arm of my boyfriend. Now Ex-boyfriend.

“What...I mean, Why? Eric...I thought you were happy with me?” I knew my voice was plaintive, quiet.

Eric turned to look at me over his shoulder, door to our shared apartment open, bags packed and held in his hands. “You were never enough woman for me [Y/n]. Always whining, always crying. And you’re a slut to. You don’t think I know what happens in that tower when you go on your supposed ‘mission’?”

Tears were streaming down my face, though I barely noticed. Eric’s words pierced me deep. What he was saying was nothing new, but before he would only say them if he was drunk. He would always apologize the next morning, saying that he loved me. That he would never hurt me on purpose. And yet here he was, sober, leaving me.

“Eric, that’s not true!” I cried out as he sighed and started walking out the door, before he could shut the door, I stopped it with my foot, “Eric! I’m pregnant!” I had planned on telling him that night over dinner. I had gone to the doctors the other night for a checkup since I had been throwing up a lot and he told me the news. I was so excited to tell Eric that he was going to be a father, It didn’t matter that we weren’t married, we were in love. Or so I thought.

“God. Do you even know the father you whore?”

I fell to my knees, Eric’s cold gaze on my mascara streaked face. I whispered, Barely getting the words past the lump in my throat, “It’s yours Eric.”

Eric was silent for a moment, and then he brought his knee up and kicked me in the stomach. I cried out, falling over to my side. He leaned down and viscously grabbed my chin, “I don’t care what you do with it, but I never want to see you or that bastard child you say you carry ever again.”

He thrust my head out of his grip, turned, and walked out of my life.

I crawled back into my apartment, closing the door, I stayed sitting against the door, sobbing. I didn’t know what to do and I felt so weak. And that made me angry. I was an Avenger for crying out loud! The best marksman with a weapon, rivaling Clint but while he worked with arrows, I could master any weapon and hit my mark no matter the situation.

I rubbed my hands over the tiny bump in my stomach, the doctor had told me I was almost two months. “What are we gonna do little one?”

I stared into the quiet apartment. I knew one thing, I couldn’t stay here. I packed my things, leaving behind any memory of Eric. I went down to the landlord and cancelled my lease, leaving all the fines and bills to Eric who had ordered me to make him the primary on the lease.

I grabbed a taxi and gave them the address to the Avengers tower. I didn’t know how I was going to face my teammates. I knew they didn’t like Eric. I hid the bruises from the drunken fights. I didn’t want them to get upset or try to go after Eric. But I had nowhere else to go. No family or friends. My family and friends was the Avengers.

Finally, the taxi pulled up in front of the tower, I thanked the driver before grabbing my bags and stepping out. I adjusted my sweatshirt, trying to hide the bruises and hint of pregnancy.  

Taking a deep breath I walked into the lobby.

“Hi [Y/n]! Wasn’t expecting to see you today. Oh! What’s all this?” Cathrine, one of the secretaries noticed all the bags I was carrying with me.

“Hi Cathrine. I decided to stay in my room here in the tower for a while. Would you mind paging someone to take these up? Where is everyone?”

Cathrine looked at me askew and I knew why. I almost never stayed in the room Tony had given me in the tower for the last two years since moving in with Eric, except for when I got back from a mission super late. “They are all in the common room as far as I am aware, You can always ask FRIDAY on your way up to double check.”

I thanked her again, leaving my belongings next to her desk as I headed into the elevator. I didn’t want to face everyone and I was scared that Wanda would see what was wrong immediately. I was always careful to block my thoughts around her but right now I was in such an emotional state, I didn’t know If i could stop her from prying.

“Miss [Y/n], your vital levels are rising and in your state could prove detrimental. Do you wish me to contact the doctor?”

I let out a shaky laugh. Of course the AI could tell I was pregnant. “No thank you FRIDAY. Just take me to where the team is.”

The elevator stopped on the common floor for the Avengers. I steadied my breathing and stood up straight. Attempting to fix my [h/c] hair before the doors opened. Now I realized I should’ve thought this through a bit more. I knew my mascara was still smudged and my hair was a mess.

Then the doors were open and I had no choice but to face my team. I pasted a smile onto my face. Double checked that none of my bruises were visible and walked out into the room.

The first person I ran into was none other than Clint. “Hey Dart! What are you doing here, did you get a mission report?” You shook your head at your code name.

“No I didn’t. I’m staying in the tower for a while.” You tried not to squirm as Clint squinted at you, confused. “Where is everyone else?”

Clint pointed towards the tv room. “Tony managed to talk everyone into watching the new 007 movie. I got tired of the interruptions of everyone trying to explain it to Steve and Thor, so I was going to clear my head outside for a bit.”

I grabbed his arm. Needing support. “Stay for a moment. There’s something I have to tell the team and I could really use your friendship.”

Clint covered my hand with his own, looking at me with such concern I almost broke down crying again. I sniffed back the tears. “What is it [Y/n]?”

My hand tightened on his arm, “Eric,” At my ex-boyfriends name Clint’s face hardened.

“What did he do?”

The question was soft, but I knew enough to tell that Clint was pissed.

“No, Clint. It’s...we broke up.”

Clint gave me a soft smile, “Hey, it’s okay. We’re all here to help you get over him. You know most of the team thought you could do better anyways.”

I grimaced, yes I knew that. But now… “And I’m pregnant, Clint.”

He stilled. You panicked for a moment. Squeezing his arm you waved your hand in front of his face, “Clint?”

“Is it his?”

I slapped him. I was so angry. “Yes it is! I’m not a slut or a whore!”

Clint shook himself, immediately sorry for his outburst. ‘I’m so sorry [Y/n] I never meant that you were. I’m just concerned, you said you guys broke up but you’re pregnant. Did he break up because of it?”

I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks. “No. He didn’t know when he was breaking up with me. But he said he doesn’t believe its his and that he doesn't want anything to do with it or me.” The tears began to fall as I relieved that moment over again. As I reached up to wipe away the tears, the sleeve of my sweatshirt fell down and Clint saw the bruises that were healing.

“[Y/n], did he do this?” He gently grabbed my arm, stopping me from pulling down the sleeve to cover them again.

I lowered my head to look at the floor in shame. I was weak. I was nothing. Just like Eric said.

Clint pulled back my hair out of my face so that he could meet my [e/c] eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay now. And no matter what that dickhead said, none of this is your fault. He shouldn’t have beat you. Or said those hurtful things.”

I gulped, and whispered, “How did you know he did those things?”

Clint gave me a soft smile as he gently pulled me along towards where the rest of the team was, “Because I’ve seen the results of an Abusive Relationship before. Before Laura and I became official, she had just gotten out of one herself. I didn’t understand how she acted the way she did, but when she told me, I was there to help her find who she was again.”

I nodded. I could do this. I took a deep breathe. Clint gave me one more smile as he opened the door to the room.

I was met by a hilarious sight. Tony was beside the Tv that was showing agent 007 running on the top of the train, gesturing wildly while shouting at Steve. Steve was sitting on a beanbag, a bowl of popcorn in his hand, head tilt in confusion. Thor was trying to tell Natasha that he could have destroyed the bad guy in the first five minutes and Wanda was laughing along with bruce as they watched all of it happen from the safety of the couch.

“Guys, Look who I found!” At Clint’s shout, everyone stopped and turned. I was suddenly nervous again.

“Hey guys. Looks like your having fun.” I was pleasantly surprised that my voice managed to sound normal. But i didn’t miss the look Wanda shot me. Shoot. I guess my emotions were still too distressed to block her out.

Tony was the first to break out of his shock at seeing you in the tower without a mission on the radar, “[Y/n]! So good to see you again! Could you please explain to mr. caveman here the beauty that is Tom Cruise?”

I laughed, “Tom Cruise is overrated.”

Tony gasped, and slapped a hand over his chest, “[Y/n]! I didn’t take you for a double agent? Oh how painful of a betrayal.”

It was pretty funny watching Tony be overdramatic, but I knew I needed to clear the air of the reason I was here.

“Guys, I have something to tell you.” Tony stopped with his acting and stood still, looking concerned. I took a deep breath, Clint gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. “I will be staying here for a while. Me and Eric broke up.”

There was silence for a moment before a loud cheer went up from everyone, even Thor.

Steve stood up and came over to give me a hug, “Sorry for the reaction [Y/n] but you already knew we didn’t like him.”

Tony agreed, “There was something off about him every time you brought him over.”

Wanda was the only one who didn’t mutter an agreement, still staring at you in concentration.

Clint could see that things were spiraling so he took a step forward, raising his hand, “That’s not all guys, could you please let her finish? She needs all the support she can get right now.”

Everyone got silent again at Clint’s solemn tone. Tony gave you a worried look, “What’s going on [Y/n]?”

Tears poked at my eyes again, I reached up to swipe them away, “God I’m turning into a watering pot.” I gave a breathy laugh, “Was Laura like this too?” Clint laughed as I asked him the question.

“She was worse, believe it or not. Crying when I wore my shoes into the house or if the dryer finished early.”

Natasha raised a hand drawing my attention, “Uhhh...you guys wanna share with the class?”

I took a deep breather, “Eric and I broke up. I realize now, and Clint helped me realize, that it was an abusive relationship. Verbally and…” I reached up and pulled up the sleeves of my sweatshirt, revealing the rainbow of colored bruises covering my arms. I also lifted the bottom of it to show the footprint that was starting to develop on my hip. “Physically.”

Natasha gasped, followed by everyone else. Tony stepped up to me, “Honey, Why didn’t you tell us?”

The tears wouldn’t stop then, as I saw the care that the Team had for me. “I don’t know.” I drew a ragged breath, Clint the only reason I stayed standing as he held onto my hand. “I thought I was weak. Worthless. I started to believe everything Eric said and called me. I didn’t want you guys to start thinking it too.”

Tony gathered me into a bone crushing hug, “No honey, we would never think that of you. You are so strong and beautiful. We will always be your family. [y/n]. You can come to us for anything.”

He let go, and walked back to the rest of the team. I frantically tried to stop the tears.

Wanda spoke up then, “That’s not all though, is it [y/n]?” Her voice was soft and supportive.

Tony looked at her, “What do you mean? What else could there be?”

I answered that, “I’m pregnant.”

Time seemed to stand still for a moment. I held my breath, waiting for their reactions. This time Thor came up to me. “Miss [y/n], you can rest assured that I will protect this child. He or she will want for nothing from Uncle Thor! The best Uncle in the galaxy!” He proudly raised his hammer, smiling at you.

Tony interrupted, “Umm, I think you mean second best. The best uncle is the one that will be creating a suit for our mini avenger.”

Steve sidled up on the other side of me, “I’m the best uncle right?”

I laughed freely as the stress melted off me. I shouldn’t have worried. The Avengers were my family. They would help me no matter what.

Clint got my attention, “Told you.”

I smiled at him and leaned over, “Don’t rub it in, but I think you’ll be the best uncle.”

Clint smiled, let go of my arm and ran into the middle of the bickering, “You guys! [Y/n] said I’m the best uncle!”

I grinned. I was surrounded by family. I got slowly pulled into the circle of love and bickering as everyone asked me if I had thought of names or if I had any baby stuff already. No one brought up Eric again and no one acted differently towards me.

I was home.

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 28: Bad Trips and Reckless Ideas 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Abuse (physical and emotional), forced drug use, hallucinations, threatened violence, group-led abuse, neglect, enabling of abuse and neglect, alcohol mention, mentioned terrorist activities; Illustrated

Author’s note: http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005607 leaves the link to this conversation one last time with a huge exaggerated wink 

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Well. The rest of the Usuals were here.

They’d come in hot, too, all rowdy and cheering and congratulating themselves, especially Bruce, who was even braggier than usual, ugh. Every ten goddamn minutes he’d pipe up with his booming overpowered loudspeaker of a voice about how big some troll he’d killed was down in Ohio, how many he’d taken down, showing off some spoils of ‘war’ like a hunter so fucking proud of all the game he’d brought down, yessir, the fish I caught was this fuckin’ big, really.

Also predictably, the first thing he’d done upon arriving was to see that Dave was picking up the trash the fuckin’ assholes had been just leaving around the room and very deliberately tip over the garbage can, complete with what he probably thought was a hilariously cutesy ‘whoops’. It was neither cute nor hilarious, but the Usuals laughed anyway.

Thankfully, they’d mostly been leaving him alone, now. Bruce was currently bragging about some sort of drink he’d apparently swiped? Whatever it was, Dave could only make out a hint of purple; Bruce’s big fuckin’ paws kept him from seeing the rest of the bottle. Looked like fuckin’ cough syrup more than anything else, really. Certainly looked to be colored about that way.

Ben apparently got a good look at it, though, as he was heading out to go chop some firewood (a task Dave was apparently not trusted enough to do yet. He’d been surprised, but he wasn’t complaining. Fuckin’ axe looked heavy, he doubted he’d be able to swing it effectively), because he’d very quickly told Bruce to put the cap right back on that shit and not to even think about drinking it.

“Aww, when did you turn into such a spoilsport?” Bruce grinned.

“It’s not — Look, me n’ Derek’ve seen that shit before,” Ben said. “It’s banned on Earth, and for a good fucking reason. That stuff has some really nasty effects on humans. Don’t be playing around with it, alright? Just — trust me here.”

“He’s right,” said Bro, who was leaning on the kitchen counter. “Guy who we saw drink some of it was never the same afterward. Wouldn’t particularly advise partaking in it yourselves.”

With that, Dave started tuning them out again, focusing on cleaning. They kept talking about stuff as Ben trudged out, and Dave really didn’t wanna hear any more about how many trolls had died. One of them was trying to get more info outta Bro about what the troll drug did, maybe? Nothin’ you wanna know about, motherfucker, Christ, enough with the dumb troll drug, already.

(Dirk’s words from earlier kept buzzing around in his head. It was…stupid, how much that had gotten to him. Dave hadn’t really noticed that he never thought about escaping before, partly because he’d tried it once, but mostly just because it…wasn’t…he just didn’t…And then his own response, too, had startled him. It’d just…sprung out, unbidden, he hadn’t even been thinking about it consciously, but. There it was. He’d said it. And now he couldn’t stop thinking it, and it was bullshit.)

(Thoughts he’d spent years teaching himself not to think were sneaking around the edges of his brain, too; snapping their jaws hungry and staring like a bunch of street dogs hoping for an easy bite, waiting for him to let his guard down. Wasn’t gonna happen, though, nope, his guard was an iron fucking fortress secure enough to give Fort Knox an inferiority complex. Fort Knox was gonna need therapy to fix its self esteem after seeing how locked down Dave’s guard was.)

God, how did fourteen dudes produce so much fucking trash? They had to be doing it on purpose. Tim was definitely doing it on purpose, that much Dave had no doubt of.

Speaking of whom.

Dave noticed abruptly that, after someone whispered something to someone else, the Usuals had gone…worryingly quiet for a couple seconds too long. Dave glanced up just in time to see Tim and fuckin’ Bruce grinning at him.

“Heeey, little man,” Bruce said, and god Dave hated it when they borrowed any of Bro’s nicknames for him, Christ, he had a name, it was bad enough that Bro never used it, “Care to participate in a little…experiment? For science, y’know.” Dave could see the bottle now. It had a label wrapped around the middle covered in Alternian writing, and, yep, the contents were some purple liquid.

“I’m not fucking drinking that,” Dave said. The glint in Tim’s eyes was making him nervous.  The way that at least half of the Usuals were also laughing along was not helping make Dave any less so.

Fuck, Ben needed to chop the damn firewood faster, he needed backup, he — he decided that the trash could go fuck itself, actually, he was going back to hide in the cellar.

Beardy fuckin’ didn’t approve, apparently, because he slid neatly into Dave’s way and wouldn’t let him pass. Sneering, he said, “Where you think you’re going?”

Desperate, Dave cast his eyes towards his father. “Bro,” he said, grasping at words and failing to find any. Fuck, asking for help from Bro was a bad idea, most of the time, but he always kept the Usuals from going too far, surely he’d step in?

Bro took a sip of whiskey, slow and thoughtful. The room held its breath. The Usuals knew how this worked. If Bro said no, they’d all sit down, and Dave’d be free to leave.

“T’ fuck you lookin’ at me for?” Bro drawled, not even turning to face Dave. Dave felt his heart drop into his stomach so fast he was surprised it didn’t plunge right through the floor. “Fight your own battles,” Bro finished, returning to his drink.

Dave gulped, backing away from Beardy. Fuck, maybe he could grab the broom, maybe he could corner himself and be able to keep them from sneaking up on him, maybe Ben would get back before — Beardy lunged for Dave, but he managed to duck away, right into Tim’s arms. He thrashed and kicked, managing to squirm free after bashing his heel against Tim’s shin to the sound of laughter from the other usuals. Beardy was determined to stick by the door, it seemed, so that escape route was out. Dave darted desperately for the front door, but that route was quickly blocked off by that asshole in the hunter’s hat.

Dave would’ve liked to think he put up a pretty good fight, but it didn’t take long for him wind up with his arms pinned behind his back, twisted painfully enough to keep him from struggling. In his defense, he was up against a ton of guys twice his size.

Bruce twisted open the bottle, and, painful or not, Dave tried to squirm away again. They had no idea what that shit did, Bro and Ben had only implied it was awful, shit, what if it —

“Use the cap,” Bro said. Everyone paused.

“What?” Bruce said. Bro rolled his eyes.

“It’s a fuckin’ medicine bottle, you dense fuck,” Bro said. “You know how those work, right? You fuckin’ use the cap to measure out doses, n’ shit. Use it.”

That. Okay. See, Bro did care. If it was real bad, he wouldn’t have let them use it, so it was probably…okay, right?

He still tried to fight the men off, but someone grabbed him by the chin and forced the sip of purple shit down his throat, holding his mouth closed until he had to swallow. It tasted like gross artificial grape cough syrup, god. Did trolls have grapes on their planet, even? What the fuck.

Soon as he’d swallowed, they let go, letting Dave collapse to the floor. His throat and mouth were sort of tingle-burning, god. Not bad enough to really be worth writing home about, but it was…weird.

“You fuckers done, or can I go now?” Dave snapped, as the Usuals stared at him, expectantly. “S’ not doing anything, y’all better find some other way to entertain yourselves.”

“Finish your chores first,” said Bro.

“Seriously?!” He regretted saying it almost as soon as the word was out of his mouth, but…strangely enough, Bro didn’t seem bothered.

“No excuse for laziness,” Bro shrugged.

Grumbling, Dave got back to work. With his luck, that thing probably, like, was gonna leave him a goddamn X-man, or something equally stupid. Probably give him one of the really dumb powers, too, like being able to talk to bugs or walk through walls but only walls made out of really specific materials like…like….

Something was wrong. Dizziness was creeping in, and his fingers wouldn’t do what they were fuckin’ told, and his arms were starting to feel heavy, and — something smokey and dark hovered in his peripheral vision, startling the shit out of him. He whirled to face it, or tried to, but got caught on his own fucking feet, spun too far, and hit the ground elbows first.

“Fuck,” he hissed. Shook his head. What the fuck — shit, was this the troll drug kicking in?

He felt himself trying to panic, felt his heart beating a mile a minute, but his thoughts were simultaneously racing and making less than zero sense, just static racing down the track. More dark shadows danced around the edges of his vision as he struggled to get back to his feet. Everything felt so fucking heavy, what the hell?

Someone was…saying something? Laughing? He leaned heavy against the wall, panting, his legs shaking with the effort. He couldn’t process any words, it was all just a thick stew of pointless sounds sloshing around in his increasingly heavy head. He tried to use his arms against the wall, brace himself better, take some of the weight off his feet, but it was like there was a delay on his brain’s signals, every movement he made was slow and clumsy.

Something was dripping from the ceiling. Something thick and dark, oozing viscous and menacing into a puddle near Dave’s feet. The walls seemed tilted, leaning in as if to stare at him, and the room was full of dark, hulking shapes, humanoid and familiar but he couldn’t identify them, what the fuck was going on? Where was he? What…

One of the figures, the tallest, strode closer, and as it did, it morphed. Two odd points on each side of its head morphed into…horns? Ears? Fangs sprang from a wide-open jaw. Black fur at once oily and made of smoke emerged all along the beast. Piercing orange eyes flicked open and settled their hungry gaze on him, a firey glow seeming to emanate from within the beast itself. The figure, the beast, this gross facsimile of a mad hound towered over him, silent and relentless.

He lost his balance again, slid down the wall and landed hard. Tried to struggle away, but he could barely move, everything was so heavy, the wall was behind him — had to get away from —

Another dark figure came into the room. More sounds. Dave couldn’t tear his gaze away from the dog-creature, even as the other figure dragged him to his feet and tugged him away.

Something was happening up in the main house. Dirk was increasingly frantic with worry — there was enough loud talking in various voices too far away to make out, but one of which sounded worryingly like Dave, the rest much older, as well as a lot of thudding and other noises Dirk couldn’t place. He was halfway through trying to stand again, bad leg be damned, when the noise abruptly settled down. Any further noise was too quiet and far away to be heard, and that was even more worrying.

He tried to walk, but again, his useless fucking leg left him right back down on the mattress.

He kept trying. Fuck keeping Derek’s dirty secret, he needed to be sure Dave was okay —

Some noise broke out again. Laughter, this time, maybe? Then more yelling, from only one voice this time; it definitely wasn’t Dave. Footsteps came close, and the cellar door swung open.

“—Hang on, I know, fuck, you probably can’t hear me right now,” came the voice of Ben as he closed the cellar behind him. His footsteps sounded heavy and staggered, nearly falling down the stairs. He rounded the shelves, supporting Dave, whose face was pale and drawn.

“Hey, just — I need you to keep an eye on him for a bit, alright?” Ben said, carefully setting Dave down on the mattress. Dave was shaking, quiet whimpers slipping out of his mouth.

“Wait, what’s —” Dirk started to ask.

“Just — I dunno, hang onto him, make sure he doesn’t roll himself onto anything sharp or anything, it’ll wear off in a while,” Ben said. “I gotta get to the bottom of this, just keep him safe.”

He took off again before Dirk could piece together any clues, a yell of, “I told you all what it does, what the fuck?!” slipping out as the cellar door again swung closed.

Dirk pulled Dave’s torso up to his chest, gently setting his shades aside before wrapping his arms around Dave’s shoulders. Was Dave having a seizure? He could see his eyes were open behind the shades, and as hard as it was to tell in the dark cellar, his pupils looked like they were fucking huge. Dave was whimpering, too, and shivering, his body somehow relaxed and yet occasionally jerking, in movements that went nowhere.

What the fuck was he supposed to do?

“Dave, can you hear me?” Dirk begged, making no effort to keep the fear out of his voice. “Dave, I need you to try and tell me what’s going on, please, talk to me.”

Dave didn’t react at all, just kept pressing his face into Dirk’s shirt and whimpering. Dirk kept trying, but Dave didn’t react at all.

Then, his eyes slipped closed.

“Shit, no,” said Dirk, gently shaking his brother. “No, no, nonono, Dave, no, stay awake, you can’t fall asleep, not now.”

Nothing. It did nothing. Dave’s breathing slowed just a tiny bit. Whatever rest Dave was getting was fitful, full of twitching and whimpering. Dirk wasn’t sure anymore if the trembling he still felt was Dave’s or his own.

They sat there in the dark, Dirk cradling his brother as best he could, time ticking by with agonizing slowness. At long last, Dave stirred. He tightened his fingers in Dirk’s shirt, groaning.

“Dave?” Dirk asked. He bit back the urge to add a ‘please be okay,’ for the time being, at least.

“I think so,” Dave mumbled.

“Uh, what?”

Dave pressed in closer still for a moment, in a slow, uncoordinated motion that was extremely unlike the careful, quiet movements Dirk had come to expect from him. “Fuck, okay, still can’t move great. Uh, fuck. Think I just got first hand exposure to what people mean when they describe something as a bad trip. I mean if that was a good one, I don’t even wanna know what a bad one looks like, you know?” he tried to laugh, flicking one exhausted-looking eye up to look at Dirk.

Dirk’s eyebrows pressed up into a worried line. “Bad tri—Dave, what the hell happened?!”

“Dude, chill, Bro’s goons are just assholes.” Clumsy still, Dave sat up, leaning away from Dirk. “Fuckhead Bruce stole some weird troll drug from one of the poor fucks he killed in Ohio — uh, thats a thing, by the way, they raided a place in Ohio yesterday, sounds real bad, but like — the point is, he and Tim, who can also go fuck himself, thought it’d be a fun prank to use me to see what the shit actually did. The answer is you fucking see shit and you can’t move, by the way, Jesus Christ. How long was I out, d’you know?”

Dirk blinked. Fuck, troll drugs? What? How was Dave so casual about — was this sort of incident normal for him? He was actively struggling not to panic, now, he could tell. Keep calm, at least whatever it was seemed to be wearing off. “I…guess that explains why you were acting the way you were,” he said. “I think it was about an hour.”

“Awesome. Okay, second question: is there actually a giant fucking spider the size of my head on the wall behind you, or am I still seeing things?”

Dirk nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to look, but the wall was bare. “I don’t see anything, no,” he said. “Jesus, Dave, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Alright, cool, still seeing things, then,” Dave groaned. It took a great deal of struggling and some help from Dirk, but he managed after a while to settled next to his brother, back to the wall. A moment of quiet, and then, “Dude, are you fucking shaking?”

Ah, so it had changed over to Dirk, then.

“You scared the hell outta me,” Dirk said, softly. “I thought you were maybe having a seizure, and then you went and passed out on me. Jesus, Dave, is this normal for you?”

“It’s a lil on the fucked up end, I guess,” he said, “But not really surprising. Normally Bro’d not let them get away with shit this bad, but I guess he decided this is an acceptable punishment for all the fuckups the past several months.”

Dirk swallowed hard. Fuck. “And…and that’s the sort of thing that happens when you step out of line, then?”

Dave shrugged again. “Pretty much.”

Unable to hold himself to any further facade of control, Dirk wrapped his arms around Dave’s shoulders again, resting his chin on the top of Dave’s head. He was definitely the one shaking now, yeah.

“You okay, man?” Dave asked after a long moment.

“I don’t think either of us is,” Dirk said softly.

Dave woke up again sometime before sunrise, because apparently it wasn’t enough to have had undergone a bad trip like that, no, he had to relive parts of it in his fuckin’ nightmares. Awesome.

Dirk was still asleep. Dave was grateful for that, honestly. It meant he had some time to himself, and after last night, he had some things he really needed to think about.

Careful not to waken his brother, he gently pushed Dirk’s head back against the wall, freeing up his own shoulder so he could stand and sneak carefully away to the bathroom. Safely locked inside, he splashed some water on his face and took a hard look at his reflection.

Okay, asshole, time to figure this shit out.

A lot had happened yesterday. There’d been his argument with Dirk, and the fact that Dirk didn’t get how shit worked here, how any sign of disloyalty would be met with a shitton of pain, was worrying enough. It meant that Dave’d be paying for a lot of Dirk’s transgressions initially, but it also meant that Dirk was gonna have a fucking terrible time once he did get pulled into this shit. And he was going to, that much was for sure, Bro’d made his intentions pretty clear by now. Dirk didn’t like playing by other peoples’ rules, though, and Bro wasn’t gonna tolerate that.

And then…and then there was that whole shit with the troll drug.

Okay, so, Dave hadn’t expected Bro to just  let them do it, but it wasn't wholly a surprise. Just about fit in with how the Usuals always treated Dave, in truth. But God, Dirk had looked so fucking scared, even when the hallucinations had worn off all the way.

He’d been fucking shaking, even. Dirk didn’t shake, he didn’t do scared. It’d taken an intervention for him to admit to the shit he’d said back on the roof, and Dave never woulda figured out that was what was going down without him saying it, but right now it was obvious that Dirk was terrified, and that…couldn’t be good.

This place was killing him.

Dave needed to get him out of here. He couldn’t handle it.

(And….and some recklessly optimistic part of him, somehow different from the usual part, a piece that he’d been swallowing down for years, chose now to spoke up, and, maybe because of all that had happened, maybe after five months of relative peace, he found himself ready to listen:

If even Dirk was handling being here this badly…if even Dirk was scared and distraught and just generally not okay…then maybe it might actually be okay that Dave didn’t wanna be here, either. Sure, there was the old guilt about abandoning Bro, but. Maybe.)

Regardless of his own thoughts, getting Dirk out of here definitely needed to happen, in any case. And with Dirk’s bad leg, there was probably no way to do that without Dave getting himself outta there, too. So. This’d have to be an escape attempt for both of them, instead of just one, like he’d tried with Karkat.

God, speaking of Karkat, there was another reason to leave. He couldn’t stand the thought of having anything to do with hurting the trolls, anymore. Alternia may not have been kind to Karkat, and maybe a lot of them were assholes the way Karkat said, but they were still…they were fuckin’ people, and most of the ones here were just scared and didn’t want trouble, and Dave was never going to be able to fight them, no matter how much Bro wanted him to. He was dead weight on their organization, Bro’d probably be happy he was gone, really. Right? Yeah.

(And again that hopeful, desperately reckless maybe sang out, maybe it’s okay, maybe Mom and Rose and Karkat needed him too, maybe it was okay to want to live with them instead, maybe, maybe, maybe)

But how to go about that? He couldn’t just sneak out, no way. Dirk was physically incapable of being quiet moving around right now, and Bro’s ears were ridiculously sharp. He couldn’t count on being left alone in the house again, either; it was pretty clear he’d lost that privilege after getting arrested. Bro would probably always leave someone behind to guard the house, now, even when he went out to lead the raid they’d been planning for a while. And Dave had no way of knowing for sure if whatever guard got left there was someone he could take on.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dave noticed the bathroom medicine cabinet was slightly ajar. Evidently, someone, either Bruce or more likely Ben, judging by how pissed Dirk had said he was, had put the troll drug in the medicine cabinet. The purple bottle sat there, innocently, lookin’ all like it wasn’t actually the gateway to hell in a bottle.

…And that reckless maybe sang out again, louder than ever.

Hey. Hey, no, what the fuck are you thinking, why are you —

— For once, he shut out the detracting thoughts. This…could work. It was risky, sure, but. He could do it. For real, this time, none of the usual bullshit ‘it’s fine’ mantra. He’d never be able to go back to Bro if he did this, probably, but. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

No, seriously, Junior, what the ACTUAL fuck are you planning? No, don’t just grin, fucking mumble or something, let me in on whats going on — you’re not listening to me at all, are you. God fucking dammit.

[tgwltw]

1+1 = for life

When I had this in mind, I didn’t expect it to end up being this long. It’s probably the longest work I have written up to date. I had to put it under the keep reading line because it is just too long. I wanted this to be a fluffy piece but I’m not sure if I managed to send that message across but hope anyone who gives this a read, enjoy! I am off to do some quick shopping and then I will be back to post some more requests!

Word count: 3933

It really was supposed to be a short fluffy piece…

 Bruce Wayne never does anything half-assed. You have known this ever since you started dating him a couple of years ago. But Bruce also never does anything less than what he is expected though ever since he got together with you – you being the longest and long-lasting relationship he is ever in – Bruce has taken the Gotham city gossipers by surprise with his change of heart. This did not mean he had stopped throwing extravagant galas or stopped attending any charity events or galas. It just means he did all of those with you in his arms or with an arm around you, looking like the very amazing power couple the two of you.

Which brings you to your earlier point: Bruce Wayne never does anything half-assed.

You are currently standing in the Wayne manor, looking at Dick who is grinning widely at you. You have met each and every one of Bruce’s sons through the years of being together with him. Not only that, you also knew his secret life as The Batman and by proxy, you knew his sons’ identities too. It was not that hard for you to deduce given the amount of time you spend together with Bruce and his family.

“Happy 10th anniversary, Y/N!” Dick wraps his arms around you, giving you a tight squeeze causing you to laugh. You have seen this teen grow in to a very handsome and well-mannered man. “Thank you for putting up with Bruce!” You laugh at this and Dick pulls away from the hug, taking out a folded note from his pocket. “Unfortunately, none of what you are supposed to look for are here and instead, you have to go look for them.” His voice is laced with mirth and you are a little bit confused yet excited at what’s in store for you.

“Okay, so what is Bruce doing for our anniversary this year?” This is a thing between the two of you. Always trying to one up each other on your anniversary and since this year is your 10th anniversary with Bruce, you are extremely sure he has something extravagant planned for you. You would not put it past him not to do so. Last year you had surprised him with a private dinner with everyone that holds a place in Bruce’s heart and spent the entire day doing charity work with him. It did not sound as exciting as this plan Bruce has for you.

The grin on his face stays as he stares at Bruce’s love. Dick is forever grateful for the day Bruce had met you because ever since that day, he had gradually changed for the better. Dick unfolds the note. “This day is dedicated entirely to you, F/N L/N, the love of my life. With the help of the boys, I am choosing to embrace the fun and excitement of having you go on a scavenger hunt!” Dick reads out the note and you blink a couple of times.

“I definitely did not expect a scavenger hunt… but how hard can this be?” You look at your heels and Dick chuckles before picking up a nicely wrapped present that had been beside his feet. How did you miss that? Dick hands it over to you. Amused, you take it and unwrapped the present when Dick tells you to do so. “He definitely has this planned out – did you tell him I wanted new shoes?”

Dick nods his head. “You did say the soles of your old shoes became very slippery on almost every surface.” Dick takes your heels from you and watches you put on the new sports’ shoes. “Anyways, back to the note.” You nod your head, asking him to continue. “When you complete the scavenger hunt, your present will be waiting for you right at the start.:

But before you could even ask for any clues, Dick redirects you to the front of the manor and a smile appears on your face when you spy Alfred with an adorable mini-cooper. “This is your ride, Y/N. Good luck with the scavenger hunt!” Dick presses a kiss on your cheek and you made your way to Alfred.

Alfred gives you a bow. “Ma’am.” He nods his head at you before opening the door. “Master Bruce has given me strict instructions to be driving you around today.” He gives you a small smile when you thank him, getting in to the brand new car. Alfred gets in to the car and drives you, the both of you chatting lovingly about Bruce.

Alfred brings you to the very first place for your clue – a place that you know very well. This bookstore is one of the places that you always frequent because of how close it is to your workplace and they also had the best services you have ever encountered.

The moment you step outside of the car, you are greeted with Damian. You engulf the youngest Wayne in your embrace, causing him to squirm in embarrassment but hugged you back nevertheless. “Good afternoon, Damian.” You pull back to look at him.

Damian gives a curt nod to Alfred who then excuses himself. You could only look in confusion. Damian holds your hand. “Your clue after this is within walking distance so Pennyworth will be meeting you there.” He leads you inside the bookstore and surprisingly, the bookstore is empty and the lounging area has been transformed in to something very cozy too. “Father has paid enough money to the bookstore as to not lose any possible income just so I can do this for you.” Damian tells you without prompting.

You sit down on the sofa. “Thank you, Damian.” The both of you shared the love of reading books and would normally meet up frequently to discuss the books you have read with him. Damian loves how you never tell him no whenever he recommends books to you. “So what are we doing today?”

Damian hands you a poetry book. “Walking down memory lane.” He says in a matter-of-factly tone as he makes himself comfortable beside you. He is currently holding a new book – the book you had only recommended to him last night. “Father told me he buys books for you here almost every month.”

You nod your head. “Yes, he did. He knows I enjoy reading and I love buying physical copies of books as well.” You smile when you remember the times Bruce would show up at your doorstep or your office with a new book in hand and a bouquet in the other. It always makes you happy to know that he pays attention to the littlest things you have mentioned off-handedly. “In fact, this poetry book had been the first one he got me when we first started officially dating.” You giggle when Damian’s expression changed in to something like being wary. “Don’t worry, Dami. I won’t be telling you how that happened.”

“Tt.” Damian nods his head. “Your next clue will be ready whenever it will be ready so until then, we shall enjoy some time reading.” You are game with that – reading with Damian is always a fun thing to do and the atmosphere in the bookstore is simply lovely too. You only just realized that the typical cheery tune that normally plays in the background has been changed to something else – a piano piece that you cannot name but liked anyways.

True to his words, the both of you spent over an hour – close to two – reading your choice of books. Quality time like this is really hard to come by especially since you don’t live in the Manor – not because Bruce has yet to ask you but because you just did not want to move out of your apartment in the case things went south between Bruce and you – and also because Damian is busy with his school and nightly activities.

The door to the bookstore opens and Tim walks in, carrying your favourite drink – judging from the smell! – and a sandwich for you. Damian stands up and help you up, bringing you over to Tim. Tim hands the drink and food over to you.

“Drake, I need a minute with Y/N, if you please.” Damian stares pointedly at Tim who simply shrug his shoulders and walk outside. You turn to face Damian who is now staring at you. “Thank you for being with my father, Y/N. I also want to tell you thank you for not pushing me away when all I wanted to do then was push everyone away.” Damian tells you, his ears are tinged with red and you feel touched by what he had said. “Happy anniversary, Y/N – I hope you will continue to be with my father. You are really good for him.” Damian stares at you with an expression that you cannot read.

So instead, you wrap your arms carefully around Damian – you didn’t want to spill your drink on him! – and Damian winds his arms around you tightly. You press a kiss atop his head. “Thank you, Damian and I hope so too.” Even though initially you had occasionally dropped hints of marriage to Bruce, over time, you simply stopped hoping because being in a relationship with Bruce – no matter the label – is enough for you.

Damian nods his head before he pulls back. “Drake should be bringing you over to your next clue. Good luck, Y/N.” Damian all but pushes you out of the bookstore and Tim greets you happily outside.

“Happy anniversary, Y/N.” Tim gives you a kiss on your temple – darn this boy for being taller than you! – and hug you briefly. You grin at him, thanking him for the food and the drink. “I paid using Bruce’s card so really, you can thank him later when you see him.” He winks at you and you nod your head.

“So where are we going, Timmy?” You ask him as the two of you began walking down the block. Tim simply smiles, leading you down to a very familiar road.

“I’m sure you know this place very well.” Tim stops outside a diner – the same place he had gotten your food. “I’m supposed to be bringing you to the places where you normally frequent with Bruce.” Tim explains and you nod your head.

“Our first date, Bruce brought me to this fancy restaurant – I absolutely hated it because it was not filling so for our second date, I brought him here. He looked super out of place with his fancy suit – it was almost hilarious watching him.” You recall that memory. It really had been funny to you then when everyone turned to stare at Bruce the moment he had stepped in the diner with his fancy suit. Though after that, you felt bad for him so the two of you stuck to getting food for take-out and headed back to your apartment.

“I always thought you are a good match for Bruce and,” Tim nods his head. “I know you are good for him too. You make him really happy, you know that right?” Tim looks at you, searching your face for any uncertainty but when he finds none, the smile on his face grows bigger. “Bruce gave him a life, protected my parents and I respect him a lot.” Tim leads you away from the diner, bringing you to the block where your small office used to be located at.

You glance at the old building, looking at it fondly. Who would have thought you would be able to meet the love of your life through this very old building?

Tim spies the look on your face and he turns to look at the building too. “So what about this building?”

You smile. “You know I am a legal attorney so this used to be my office before I landed any big cases. Bruce was my boss’s boss at that time – I worked for a smaller company of the Wayne’s and I had actually been taking a nap then so I might or might have not fallen off my chair when Bruce knocked on my door and the rest is history.” That really had been embarrassing for you. You have always imagined how you would meet Bruce – at a gala held by the man or perhaps maybe you are able to meet him in a meeting – but never this: walking in on you taking a nap. Thankfully you had not been drooling.

Tim stops in front of the mini-cooper that had been parked nearby. Jason gets out of the car and raised his hand out to greet you. You turn to look at Tim, pulling him in a hug. “Thank you for the walk down memory lane, Tim!”

Tim shakes his head before ushering you in to the car. “Get her back safely,” Tim reminds Jason who snorts and nod his head.

“You don’t even need to tell me that, Timbers.” Jason gets in to the car and starts the engine. He glances at you as he drives away. “How has your day been?” You recall everything you have done today. Jason chuckles. “Well, unfortunately, this is the last clue.” He tells you as he switches on the radio and the same piano piece you heard in the bookstore starts playing again. “This is a present to you from the old man.” Jason also hands you a pack of tissues when you start tearing up. “In case you are wondering, this piece is called ‘lifesaver’ – it’s so tacky for something so beautiful,” Jason rolls his eyes causing you to chuckle through your tears. “I’m supposed to be telling you all of this things Bruce wanted me to say about the piece but I can’t remember half of what he wanted me to say.” Jason tells you sheepishly.

“It’s alright – listening to this piece is enough for me.” You reassure him but Jason shakes his head, reaching to the dashboard to pull out a card. He hands it over to you as he continues to drive.

“We are going to get you dolled up, get a new dress, etcetera.” He parks outside a private salon. “All of your things – dress, shoes – are inside so all you have to do is just go inside.” Jason gets out of the car to open your door, holding his hand out for you. You smile at that and stare at the salon – you have heard of this; it was one of the high class salons. Bruce is really going over the top for his surprise – your idea for your next anniversary paling in comparison.

By the time you were done with getting dolled up, Jason meets you outside of the salon with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. He hands it over to you and presses a kiss on to your cheek. “Bruce is never going to know what hit him.” He winks at you, flattering you with his compliment.

“You know, there are times when I think you are too good for Bruce, you know. I know the old man and I are never going to be what we were before because we are too different but ever since you came in to our lives, that’s been slightly better and I don’t feel like killing him all the time.” Jason is always honest with you and the fact that you never blink whenever he talks about his activities just makes him respect you even more.

“I’m glad to know that. He tries hard to make things right now but thank you for trying too.” You give Jason’s hand a squeeze and the rest of the drive is a comfortable silence. You initially thought you would be driven back home immediately but Jason makes a stop to watch the sunset with you, even going to the extent of telling you how Bruce and him sometimes meet up at that very spot to binge-eat fast food because they will not be caught dead by Alfred eating fast-food at the manor. You laugh at that – Bruce mentioned it to you before. He truly enjoys the time he gets to spend with any of his sons.

“Here is where I will be dropping you off, Y/N.” Jason pulls up outside the manor. “Just head over to the garden, yeah?” You nod your head as you get out of the car. You don’t really need any of them to lead you to the garden, you have been over so many times you practically know the manor in and out. So you head over towards the backyard.

The moment you walk in to the Garden, that is when you start tearing up. Every step you take, you are greeted with photos of you with the entire family – some of the photos were taken by Alfred as those photos were of you interacting with some of the boys, reading books with Damian in the library, playing games with Timmy, watching Dick practicing his moves, arm-wrestling with Jason, etcetera while some of the photos were from the newspapers. There were even newspaper articles about Bruce and you. Everything had been hung nicely and prettily.

The carpet that had been laid out had rose petals too and you can see chandeliers hung on the tree, making everything look extremely beautiful and breathtaking. By the end of the carpet, you are greeted with another sight that made your tears roll down your cheeks.

Bruce is standing in the middle of everything, a table for two behind him but that was not what caught your attention and made you cry. It was the fact that the heart-shaped candles were laid on the ground to make the shape of a heart. Bruce smiles at you, padding over towards you to wipe the tears away.

“Surprise?” Bruce looks at you lovingly and you sniffle, nodding your head.

“How am I going to top this next year?” You ask him and the smile Bruce gives you almost blinds you. You lean forward to press a kiss to his lips.

“I can think of a way.” Bruce places his hands on your waist, leaning forward so that his forehead is touching yours. Bruce is looking at you with so much love you almost want to blush furiously. He presses a kiss on your forehead before pulling away, leading you to the table.

“Thank you for today, Bruce. I had an amazing time with the boys.” You tell Bruce when he makes you sit and he grins before picking up a wine bottle, pouring some for you and him. “I never thought to make something like this for our anniversary so I probably have to top this next year.” He chuckles at your ecstatic expression and sips his wine.

“I’m glad you did. I had helped.” Bruce nods towards the manor where he knows the boys are at. “It was a matter of making sure everything goes well.” He tells you before placing the glass on the table and walks over to stand in front of you. “Like I said, I can think of a way.”

You frown slightly. “Really? I was hoping to surprise you with a vacation with the entire family.” You tell him honestly and Bruce cups your face with his hands, rubbing his thumbs on your cheeks. To be honest, you don’t think you can top this surprise from Bruce. Out of all of your anniversaries, this was most likely the most memorable one you have ever had – given the fact that you spent the entire day with people who you hold very dearly in your heart.

Bruce smiles at you, pressing his lips on yours. “I love you, Y/N, very much.” Bruce starts and he presses his finger on your lips when you made a move to reply him. He shakes his head. “I know I am not the easiest man to be with, giving the baggage I came with, the name I carry and my night activities – I know deep down inside that you worry for me constantly.” You nod your head since you aren’t allowed to talk yet. “But I am forever thankful and grateful that every day, you continue to stay by my side and continue to love me for me.” Bruce presses his lips on your forehead and by this time you are starting to tear up again.

Bruce releases his hold on your face before he kneels down in front of you, causing you to inhale sharply as you stare at him in disbelief. Bruce chuckles at your expression before holding one of your hand. “I am sorry it took me so long to be able to take a hint,” Bruce presses a kiss on your ring finger. “But I am here to correct that. I love you, Y/N and I fall in love with you more and more – you make me extremely happy and every day, you are the reason why I try my hardest to not end up dead in the gutter and I know for that, my sons are all grateful.” Bruce uses his free hand to wipe way the tears that fell down your cheeks. “You also know that I am absolutely bad with talking about my feelings but I never want you to doubt my love for you so,” Bruce finally takes out the velvet box, opening it for you. “Y/N, will you do me the honour and marry me?”

Bruce falls on his back when you throw yourself at him, crying on to his shoulders. He sits up, wrapping his arms around you, still holding on to the ring. He nuzzles his nose to your hair, rubbing soothing circles on your back. He probably should have done this earlier – given your reaction – but now he is more than ready to take the next step with you.

“Can I take this as a yes?” Bruce asks when he feels your crying ceasing, leaving you to sniffle lightly. “It would calm crazily beating heart of mine.” He murmurs and you gasp once you remembered that you have yet to say yes to him.

“Yes – of course- if you thought I would leave you – “ You hadn’t even finish talking when Bruce pulls your face to his, kissing you passionately, pouring all the love he has for you in the kiss. Your hands went to hold his face to you. Bruce only pulled away when the need for air rises.

Bruce finally places the ring on your finger and he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing the ring he has just placed on to your finger. “I love you so much, Y/N. Thank you.” You finally smile widely at him, admiring the ring on your hand – this is definitely one of the best days of your lives ever. The two of you just stayed on the ground for a few more minutes until your stomach growled to be fed, causing you to laugh sheepishly when Bruce chuckles. He helps you up before leading you back to your chair.

You finally take notice of the food on the table and you smile. Everything that was laid on the table are all of your favourites. “Thank you.” You lean up to press a kiss on his cheek and Bruce smiles.

“Anything to make you happy, Mrs. Wayne.” Bruce winks at you and you let out another laugh, telling him to sit down so you could enjoy dinner together. Bruce chuckles, getting in to his own seat. He is very much looking forward to spending the rest of his life with you.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Prompt: so, in a world where some people are shifters the team (who are all predator shifters) think Tony's just human (because, no animal scent) and needs his big strong wolf-shifter boyfriend to take care of him. Tony plays along at first because it's hilarious, but he's a dragon-shifter (super rare, so they didin't recognize the scent)!, and soon gets sick of it. Bucky can be in on the joke or he could be oblivious, puffing up his chest because he's protecting his mate!!!

Bucky: Arctic wolf | Steve: brown bear | Natasha: Siberian tiger | Clint: honey badger | Sam: gyrfalcon

“Oh, I see how it is,” Tony says when Clint starts scrabbling at his leg, and snatches him up by the scruff of the neck despite his squeaking protests. He lifts the squirming bundle of flailing limbs up higher so they’re face to face, and scowls at him. “Shifting to search for berries, sure. You just want to be cuddled.”

Badgers can’t smirk, but, somehow, Clint manages to bring the sentiment across anyway. The smug bastard. Tony sighs, and rolls his eyes, but lets Clint drape himself over his shoulders like the world’s ugliest fur cowl anyway.

Next to him, Bucky huffs, clearly amused. Tony flicks one of his ears. “I’m not a pushover,” he insists, and grumbles when Bucky bumps his nose against his hip. “Whatever, shut up.”

He settles his hand on top of Bucky’s head, and curls his fingers into the soft fur between his ears, scratching softly. Bucky’s eyes go heavy-lidded, and he drops his head on Tony’s knee, a low, satisfied rumbling noise starting up in the back of his throat.

Sighing, Tony settles back against the mossy log behind him, and grabs one of the sticks around him to poke at the embers of the fire he’d started earlier. It’s still light out and not cold enough to need it yet, but whatever alien game the others manage to hunt down, Tony refuses to eat it raw. Or whole. Again.

He checks the transmitter around his wrist again, but there’s still nothing but the steadily blinking red light, indicating that they’re still in their universe, though not on Earth anymore. Which is definitely preferable to that one time last month when they’d ended up in a parallel dimension where Steve had been a secret Hydra agent, but still not ideal since all they can do, really, is wait for Thor and Bruce to track down Strange to pull them back home.

It’s Bucky who notices first, head snapping up, and ears swiveling forward as he stares at a seemingly random patch of trees across the clearing they’ve made camp in. Tony hears it a moment later; footsteps, and a lot of them.

“Shit,” he hisses, and quickly sets Clint down on the ground before jumping up, and stepping in front of both Bucky and Clint.

Bucky shoots him a flat look, and Tony shrugs, smiling a little despite the possible danger lurking close by. He knows that Bucky is more than capable of defending himself, has personally made sure to improve his prosthetic to make the change from human to wolf and back smoother and less painful, and that Clint is much faster and more dangerous than he looks, but he can’t help it. It’s instinct to protect his pack and mate, even in his—admittedly delicate—human form.

The natives that clear the treeline a moment later appear humanoid, if a little more on the scaley lizard side of the spectrum. They’re armed, mostly with bows and spears, but they don’t seem aggressive or angry so far, merely confused and curious.

Which, of course, is the moment Steve and Natasha come crashing into the clearing, roaring and, in the latter’s case, covered in blood. Sam screeches somewhere above them, and yep, now the natives are reading their bows, arrows trained, of course, mostly on Tony.

Raising his hands, Tony takes a careful step forward, turning his head to bare his teeth at Bucky when Bucky growls from behind him. Bucky whines, clearly not happy with Tony’s plan, but stays put.

“So,” Tony says, addressing the natives, “I know it’s cliche, but this really isn’t what it looks like. Or, you know what, I don’t know what you’re thinking, so maybe it is exactly what it looks like. Point is, we don’t mean any harm, we’re just waiting on our friends back home to find a way to bring us back.”

One of the natives says something back, voice clicky and high. It—She? He? Them?—lifts its spear, pointing it at Tony. Bucky growls, and more of the natives move closer, clicking to each other.

“Okay, that didn’t go as—hey, wow, okay, hello,” Tony says, eyebrows shooting up in surprise when what he suspects is the native leader presses two warm, smooth fingers against Tony’s forehead, still talking. “I have no idea what you’re saying, but I promise you I taste terrible. If that’s where this is going.”

He can see Steve, on his hind legs to make himself look bigger, and Natasha with Sam perched on her shoulder, ready to strike if necessary. Bucky’s a ball of tension at his heels, and Clint is—somewhere, Tony is never entirely sure what’s going through Clint’s head at any given moment, but it usually works out for him, injuries and ridiculous accidents notwithstanding.

The native leader stops talking, then, and puts his hand on Tony’s chest. Tony stares at it, and it stares back at him expectantly.

Tony smiles apologetically. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you want.”

The leader clicks at him, annoyed if Tony’s reading it right, and then turns to hiss-click at one of the other natives, who comes forward holding up its shield. The leader snatches it, thrusting it under Tony’s face for Tony to see, and Tony can’t help but laugh when he sees what’s painted on it.

He nods. “Sure, yeah, I can do that. Is that what you want?” Steve makes a warning noise, but Tony waves a dismissive hand at him. “It’s fine, this will work. I think.”

Before anyone else can voice any more protests, he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and shifts. He can hear the collective gasps of the natives and Avengers alike, and when he opens his eyes again—sharper now, and much, much higher up from the ground—Natasha, Sam, and Steve look more taken aback than the natives.

Who seem excited, rapidly clicking at each other, and apparently forgetting all shyness as they swarm around Tony to touch him. Tony lets them, amused, lowering himself down to lie on his belly. Bucky quickly moves to curl up between Tony’s forelegs, and proceeds to scowl at everyone and everything.

“What the fuck,” Clint speaks up, back to his human form, dropping down from a nearby boulder. “You—I didn’t—what the fuck, Tony? A dragon?”

Tony puffs a cloud of smoke at him, and chuffs when Clint coughs, and glares at him.

It’s another two hours until Bruce, Thor, and Strange finally find a way to get them back home, but Tony doesn’t mind the wait, not when the natives bring out the food, drinks, and music. The little gifts—herbs, fruit, pretty stones, and shiny coins—they bring for Tony aren’t bad, either.

Some rumours about dragons are true, after all.

- Potrix

[fightingrockworld-blog]

Comedy Writers

Comedy screenwriting would not come naturally to most screenwriters. Comedy screenwriting could be very totally different from other sorts of writing. In a comedy screenplay, the ending tends to be completely satisfied and the main target must be on the characters, their actions, and reactions. All of the humorous parts in the story will probably be shown through the character's activities and dialogues. Comedies entertain all people regardless of gender or age.

Writing a Comedy Screenplay

Comedy screenwriting is an art that wants a special personality. It's almost straightforward to write tragedy tales, however writing a comedy turns into unpredictable. No author can really fathom what an audience will understand as funny and hilarious, however there are few ideas a writer can follow whereas writing a comedy.

Suggestions for Comedy Writing

Some folks think that no one can educate you the right way to be humorous; the talented are born funny. Whereas there is some fact that sure people are born with a better humorousness, comedy can undoubtedly be learned. Having a good humorousness is a bonus, but it must be nurtured by studying how to write comedy.

Different Sorts of Comedy Screenplays

The comedy genre ranges from buddy comedies to romantic comedies and sitcoms. They can be goofy, raunchy, or witty -- low brow or high brow. Choose the one you'll be able to work with comfortably and keep your meant viewers in thoughts. A comedy is mild-hearted story and does not require elaborate plots, but does must be nicely structured. Thus, a author should focus more on bringing enjoyable and frolic within the story moderately than drama within the plot. Comedy screenwriting is in nice demand and is lucrative. These films are additionally low cost; all you must do is make the script humorous and laughable. Even the author can take pleasure in writing a comedy. The final word objective of comedy author is to write down a narrative that has common attraction. Quirky characters and ironical conditions will at all times bring enjoyable to your story.

Conclusion lifestyle

In comedy screenwriting, the jokes must blend nicely with the script and shouldn't give a man-made really feel. A writer should use comical anecdotes, but not witty dialogues. Being original is necessary for every writer to succeed in the comedy screenwriting profession. An audience could not snigger at one thing they have already heard. Make the story snappy and do not drag it on. A author ought to be aware that timing is totally important and key to profitable comedy writing.

There has been humor within the United States for so long as it has been a country. In any case, life was powerful and laughing was one important method to cope and survive. Nevertheless, standup comedy as an art kind took a while to evolve and catch on. The historical past is rich and entire books have been written on the subject. This article will function a very annotated model so that the reader can use it for a "jumping off place" to check extra deeply those components that are of interest.

One of many first forms of organized standup comedy in the United States was the minstrel present that got here on the scene in the early 1800s. It was sometimes known as "black face comedy". Although appalling by 21st century standards, this brand of comedy was broadly widespread when it began. The all white casts would paint their faces black and begin utilizing the the stereotypical mannerisms of the blacks for his or her material. It has at all times been said that comedy reflects the instances. And like it or not, this was the state of the nation within the 1800s. The minstrel present remained popular through to the mid nineteenth century and started to loose favor as the United States views on racism and slavery started to alter.

Because the minstrel show's reputation waned, vaudeville started to be a well-liked kind or standup or pre-standup comedy. Along with comedy, vaudeville acts included dancers, magicians and actors. Some shows even included clown-like acts. Just a few of the main comedians of this brand of comedy are - Fred DuPres, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Groucho Marx and the Marx Brothers and Ezera kendall. Vaudeville comedians relied less on the spoken word for laughs and as a substitute used, props and physical comedy. It's because they didn't have microphones and instead needed to rely on the bodily type of comedy.

Vaudeville though in style for a very long time gave approach to comedic performances on the newly invented radio. This was the beginning of "comedy for the plenty". However whereas this was very good information for most of the people, it got here with a price for the performers. They might now not depend on the bodily side of their comedy, they now solely had their material and timing to get their audiences to chortle. Some comedians have been in a position to make the transition from Vaudeville to more of a spoken phrase kind of comedy. A few of the notable comedians that made this transition are: Jack Benney, Bob Hope, Milton Berle and George Burns.

The addition of the radio was not the only development that was groundbreaking for standup comedy. The microphone was also accessible for the comedian to use their craft. And again, the comedians from Vaudeville had to alter their shows to more spoken word comedy than bodily comedy.

Now, comedians were capable of carry out standup comedy as we now know it. It's at this point within the historical past that they modifications in standup comedy is extra content material related as an alternative of the bodily method that it is performed. Standup comedy throughout the next a long time was a mirrored image of the what occasions had been occurring at the time and also the morality and accepted topics in the nation during these decades.

The decades of the Fifties and 1960s noticed the rise of comics akin to Don Rickles, Johnny Carson and Phyllis Diller. Because the nation started breaking down the partitions of racism, a number of notable black comedians began to make audiences laugh. They have been Dick Gregory, Bill Cosby and Redd Foxx. As the racial bounds were being pushed, the bounds of acceptable humor started to check the bounds. Most notably, the comedy of Lenny Bruce set off what some say is the start of an something subject goes model of comedy. He pushed the envelope to this point that he was arrested several times for things that he stated on stage. It is at this point that comedians tried to push boundaries to see simply how far they could go together with their comedy.

One other essential development for standup comedy began in the Fifties and 1960s - television. With the appearance of the tv, comedians could have one of the best of each worlds: the physical type of comedy present in Vaudeville and also the spoken word. This noticed the development of selection exhibits equivalent to The Tonight Present and the Ed Sullivan present on television.

The Seventies have been large for standup comedians! That is when they became superstars. They moved from being seen on tv and in small comedy clubs to selling out large arenas. Comedians reminiscent of George Carlin, Cheech and Chong and Richard Pryor thrived in the new settings. Along with their live appearances, they made recordings of their reveals and bought them (as LPs) to the general public. And naturally the subjects lined have been continuously pushing the boundaries of what society would accept. As the sexual revolution and anything goes mentality became prevalent in society, the comedic subjects did additionally.

The Eighties, 1990s and 2000s primarily adopted the patterns in the previous a long time, extra exposure and pushing the envelops. There have been nonetheless just a few notable developments from these many years. MTV and Comedy Central made comedy more accessible to extra folks. Not only had been the general public getting to see the massive identify comics, they have been being exposed to up and coming comics by way of the new television networks. A latest phenomenon is a comedy based mostly reality present known as "Final Comic Standing". This show offers the tv viewers publicity to extra inexperienced comics that might at some point make it to the large leagues.

There is no such thing as a telling where standup comedy will take us sooner or later. If the past is any indication, there can be extra access by the public to standup comedians and they'll at all times be in search of a option to make them squirm by pushing the limits of what's acceptable in society.

Using The Comedy Membership Ltd as a reference organisation, we'll track the growth of standard comedy nights, the ever expanding corporate marketplace for comedian rent and likewise media exposure for not only the acts, however the golf equipment concerned within the various comedy circuit. Established in 1996 by Ian Franklin, The Comedy Membership Ltd has gone from power to power and has seen the market change from reserving comedy clubs in just bars, all the best way to nationwide resort and well being membership chains.

The Progress of Common Comedy Nights

Because the beginning, The Comedy Membership has always got down to be a particularly flexible organisation, supplying a successful, fully promoted and marketed comedy evening inside 6 weeks. Taking the Comedy Club model and three high comedians to venues requesting comedy membership shows, demand may be swiftly met and alternatives totally taken benefit of.

However why the increased uptake of exhibits? While comedian costs have remained largely the identical, profitability for venues via comedy clubs has increased even because the 12 months 2000. Target comedy audiences are usually between 20-45 yr olds and so they have merely been to so many quiz and karaoke nights by way of the 1990's, the chance to get pleasure from an evening of refreshingly real leisure is a real draw. While as a nation, the British public has been seen as unadventurous, it has begun to change into more outspoken and 'alternative' comedy has answered this calling. With small comedy nights selling out, bigger venues began to see there very personal clients being taken away to the previously fringe entertainment occasions. Basically, if you can't beat them...join them.

With sites resembling The Comedy Club's homepage displaying a huge vary of venues which comedy nights are going down, it has quickly become clear that only a few venues and audiences are unsuitable for comedy. It has develop into such a draw for classes B, C1's, C2's and D's, the 'alternative' comedy circuit may as nicely be called 'mainstream'.

Company Comedian Rent

For each corporate determination maker, there's a personal life and so an consciousness of leisure occasions. From this we are able to assume the rise of comedy nights from fashionable tradition has had an impact on company tradition and has perhaps influenced attitudes to what corporate entertainment should hold.

Comedy Club Media Publicity

Relatively little interest had been paid to the choice circuit because it's grass roots since the days of the working men's golf equipment, nevertheless this all changed from 2000. Working with Dai4 movies Production Company (produced the Spice Ladies - Earlier than they have been famous), BBC3 and The Comedy Membership Launched 'Funny Enterprise 06' - a one hour documentary following the lifetime of comedy agent Ian Franklin and The Comedy Membership community of golf equipment. Following the outstanding success of the single documentary, head of comedy in Wales, Martin Ingram commissioned 'Humorous Business' - a talent competitors to seek out the following Welsh comedian star.

Aired on BBC2 Wales in a primetime spot in Jan/Feb 2008, the collection gained considerable crucial acclaim and even obtained in-depth coverage from former Welsh circuit star, Max Boyce. The Comedy Club is ready to continue in a run of collection' for the BBC, although these details cannot be mentioned at this stage.

Old Time Radio Comedy ran the spectrum from the early situation comedy of Jack Benny to the country type humor of Lum and Abner and all over the place in between.

America has a lasting love affair with comedy radio and people lovable personalities that made everyone burst out laughing. Our Miss Brooks, Fibber McGee and Molly, The Lifetime of Riley, Duffy's Tavern, Dean martin and Jerry Lewis, My Buddy Irma, My Favorite Husband with Lucille Ball, Ozzie and Harriet, Abbott and Costello, The Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, Minnie Pearl, Mae West, Amos and Andy, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Eddie Cantor, Al Jolson, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Father Knows Finest, The Bickersons, The Aldrich Family, Bringing Up Father, Moon Mullins, Mel Blanc, Henry Morgan, Jean Shepherd, Stan Freberg and the list goes on and on!

Plus that is just the American Exhibits. Previous Time Radio and thus Previous Time Radio Comedy was a worldwide phenomena. With magnificent radio shows originating from England, Europe, Africa, Australia and elsewhere.

So, the place to tap in to all of this wealth? The large Old Time Radio archives to be found at such great OTR web sites as Bookzap and Radio Treasury contain more comedy routines, exhibits and leisure than most might take heed to in a lifetime! These two nice sites have it all and with crystalline clear sound high quality. Below are just some of the most memorable and wqell beloved old time radio present collections you can acquire on Bookzap or Radio Treasury. Below on the finish of this text you can find the link to these two exemplary websites.

Jack Benny, among the most beloved American entertainers of the 20th century, was know by many because the "King of Comedy". Jack Benny was a very sweet comic who might crwack you up wjust by looking at you!

Our Miss Brooks was a giant comedy hit on radio from the start. Inside just months of its debute the present landed a number of honors. It depicted a woman comedian in a new way which was niether clutzy or scatterbrained.

Fibber McGee and Molly were controversial probably the most loveable couple on odl time radio. The Humor was so humorous and the characters so familiar and memorable that this series ran in a single kind or another for about full 20 years.

[takingtea-and-tellingtales]

thoughts while re-watching ep. 2x7 of Gotham

alternate title for this post: “how do i talk about how funny i find parts of this episode without sounding completely deranged?” 

the penguin’s reunion with his mother is just... my heart hurts. 

okay, i know galavan SAYS that the bolt-cutters won’t work on Gertrud’s cell... but why? the lock doesn’t look like anything special. i’m pretty sure they’ll work... 

like, i know this has been done before, the whole ‘you think it’ll be fine but suddenly someone’s eyes go dead and they collapse’ thing... but damn this got me hard, especially penguin’s “i’m sorry” where he sounds like a little kid

let’s take yet another well-deserved moment to respect robin lord taylor’s phenomenal acting skills. he looks ready to tear galavan’s throat out with his teeth. he is small and unarmed and surrounded and still the scariest guy in the room. 

oh good, yeah, i needed flashbacks to ed killing kristen. i needed to see that again. tHaNKs sO mUCh.

i love evil!ed’s hand gestures - it’s like he’s conducting an invisible orchestra or pulling at an invisible network of threads that runs through the world trying to use them to manipulate the future (yeah that was bizarrely specific but watch his hands and tell me i’m wrong)

cards on the table: i squealed and clapped my hands like a child when i saw the little purple note with the green question mark on it in place of kristen’s body and i’m not going to think about how terrible that makes me (hell, this is like Hannibal all over again...)

... i can see you judging me alana bloom and i for one do not appreciate it even if your whole look is my fashion ideal 

evil!ed is really well dressed and i’m not saying villainy comes with a fashion upgrade but... well... you’ve seen penguin’s outfits. you know what i’m saying. 

harvey dent, isn’t it a little TWO-FACED to show up here after so long??? (i crack myself up)

sometimes i have to remind myself that the gcpd actually has good reasons to want to lock up penguin. here i am, like “galavan is framing him!!!” and then i remember that penguin has killed, just, so so many people. so many. 

alright silver, if you call kat “gutter trash” again, you and me are gonna have a problem 

this bit, where ed is rushing around the police station trying to solve his own riddles, is the bit of this episode that i find so much fun even though objectively it’s reasonably tragic... i just... i love that ed is running around twitching and drenched in sweat looking for a body and every other character that sees him either does not notice him or is like “oh nygma, what a lovable oddball and definitely not an emerging serial killer” and completely does not notice that anything is weird. it’s like ed wheeling the suitcases of body parts through the bullpen - no one notices ANYTHING. okay, i’ll stop now... 

the music for this plot-line is darkly hilarious... just... listen... 

... it’s the strangest song i have EVER heard. it belongs on the cooking playlist of a cheerful cannibal

i’m going to hang my head in shame because the hand in the vending machine under “lady-fingers” startles a laugh out of me EVERY TIME

“putting penguin in the cross-hairs of the gcpd will drive him underground” ... or into the apartment of a riddle-making serial killer with great bone-structure... whatever 

victor zsasz sighting. just keeping everyone updated on gotham’s favourite assassin 

“i love to watch you squirm” and i love you, lee. let’s ditch jim and get married, what do you say?

i enjoy that kat and alfred bond over hating silver

smol bruce wayne is such a tiny angst-machine 

no one does a psychotic break quite like cory michael smith - ed looks ready to shake out of his own skin

“questions like that are above my paygrade and below my sense of wonder” ... harvey can i borrow that as the answer to the essay question on my next exam??

“guys like galavan are born on third base; stealing home is practically a birthright” ...there’s a harsh critique of the class system right there. can i borrow this for a future essay? ... who knew harvey would be a wealth of academic quotes?

i’m not going to think too hard about why i love this shot: 

... also i love zsasz’s jacket, oh my gosh. fashion choices on point. i bet “tailor” is gotham’s most respected profession

penguin, listen to gabe. let your people “wack him for you”. 

how much power does the mayor of gotham actually have? is it more or less than, say, the alexander the great?

edward, if you’re going to make a go of it as a serial killer, you need to get better at lying

ed asks lee to “grab a coffee” with him and i wonder... do they do that often? is this a thing? are they coffee buddies? i nEEd tO KnOw

this mob of people all dressed like the penguin... how much did that little stunt cost in tailoring alone???? 

shout out to the one penguin body-double with a LOT of hair all done up on top of his head. work it, penguin body-double.  

okay i love tabitha, but her putting her heel through a man’s throat was horrifying to watch and i never want to see that again

penguin has looked on the verge of tears for pretty much the whole season and that shouldn’t bother me but it really really does. (why do i want him to be happy??????)

“he killed my mother, jim” ...the desperation in his voice, punch me in the FACE

galavan, you’re the mayor, not the emperor, you don’t get to order cops to murder people

jim’s soft spot for penguin is going to get him killed one of these days... 

oh no, here’s my bias for ed coming out again... i LOVE this scene so so much (he’s so well-written and acted, leave me in peace):

...and there’s the jazzy cannibal song again

goodbye ed. 

hello riddler.