#it is gonna be a gay tag now yes? hope not-

[hypnosiacon-archived]

Also weird how I... never felt SO big spoon for this, but holy shit I do want to be a monster to someone

[stillgeekingout]

#it's very strange #because i often feel like the culmination of those characters arcs #like if the point is they're ace great but like... #the option of lesbianism just *never* occurs #which--and again not to discredit any ace people or ace readings of her work--is such a common lesbian experience! #like myself and a bunch of other lesbians i know had that journey #of going 'hmm i don't like men... guess I'm asexual! (do not ask me about women i will combust)' #like lady bird... whatever #little women... alright i suppose if you wanted to make a comentary on how lma was forced to add the heterosexual romance at the end #and not suggest anything about a real person and also not deviate from the source material #but barbie was insane #the coding was next level #like c'mon birkenstocks??? #and i argue that barbies acceptance of genitalia could be read as an acceptance of sexuality or the very least exploring it #so why isn't she a dyke??? (other than mattel probably giving a hard no on that)

I don’t know, the thing that really bothers me about Greta Gerwig’s films is that there is just this gaping hole where gay women should be. Like, when you’re making these movies about the trap of heterosexual marriage, breaking free of that, and the only concrete answer is to be a single woman over and over and over again, it feels like an intentional absence. You can watch the movie with a queer lens, but it is egregious that you may only consider homosexuality in her movies in this way. It ought to be in them. There is no reason for it not to be there. Women don’t fuck women in Greta Gerwig’s feminist liberations. Often, they don’t have sex at all.

[solarmorrigan]

( @nitro502-the-sequel​‘s tags on this post made me ugly laugh and then I had to write something, I hope that’s okay??)

Wait, no, this is hilarious, hold on

Steve drops Eddie off at home later that night, where Wayne is awake and puttering around in the kitchen making what might possibly be lunch (he tends to keep overnight hours even on his days off, so as not to completely fuck his sleep schedule, but hell if Eddie can keep track of what time of “day” it is for him).

Wayne gives Eddie a nod of acknowledgement and turns back to the pan he’s stirring on the stove. “How was your–”

“HE CROCHETED ME A SCARF.”

This was a little louder than Eddie had meant to be, but Wayne, to his credit, doesn’t even flinch. He turns back to look at where Eddie is standing in the middle of the living area, clutching the ends of the aforementioned scarf like it’s a towel at the end of the world.

“Who did?”

“Steve.”

“Huh,” is all Wayne says. “Is crocheting the thing with the…?” He holds his fists out in front of him, rotating them at the wrists like he’s rowing a very tiny boat.

“No, that’s knitting. Apparently, they’re different,” Eddie says, brows raised and hands held up in front of him, like he can fend off the ghost of Steve’s surprisingly enthusiastic lecture on the subject. “Crocheting is with a hook, like–” Eddie holds out one curled fist, trying to demonstrate, but it mostly just looks like he’s either stabbing something or failing to pick up some invisible spaghetti. He gives up and flutters his hands in front of himself, clearing the image. “He showed me – never mind, it’s – you’re missing the point!”

“And I’m sure you’re gonna tell me what that is,” Wayne says, turning back to the stove before the beans (Eddie’s pretty sure it’s beans he’s smelling) start to burn.

“Steve crocheted me a scarf,” Eddie enunciates, because putting the proper emphasis on certain words will definitely solve the problem.

Wayne just hums. “Well, that was nice of him. Lord knows I can never get you to wear anything warm.”

Eddie groans, clutching at this scalp and then running his hands through his hair. He’s at least seventy-five percent certain Wayne is being obtuse on purpose.

“But what am I supposed to do about it?” he laments.

“Wear it, I’d say,” Wayne replies. “Can I see it?”

Eddie hesitates for a second, because it’s his scarf and Steve made it for him, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to it when he hasn’t even had it for twenty-four hours, but then he decides he’s being ridiculous, because if he can trust anyone with his stuff, it’s Wayne. He unwinds the scarf from around his neck and passes it over.

Wayne’s brows go up as he looks over the close, even stitches, running his fingers over the little ridges Steve somehow made with yarn. He nods appraisingly. “It’s nice,” he says, handing it back.

“Right?” Eddie tosses it back around his neck with a sigh.

“Did you say thank you?”

“Yes,” Eddie says, before thinking back over the moment when Steve had told him that the scarf was for him. “…more or less.”

Wayne shakes his head, turning back to his food with some unfavorable mutter about Eddie’s manners.

“Okay, but I think you’re still not seeing the problem here,” Eddie insists.

“Looks like the problem is that you’re having a conniption over a scarf in the middle of the damn living room,” Wayne shoots back.

“No, that’s– well I mean– no,” Eddie sputters. “Okay, look, what would you do if a girl made a scarf for you?”

Wayne pauses, and Eddie loves his uncle with his whole shriveled heart, but it is always funny watching him try to shift gears when he realizes they’re talking about gay things now.

“Well,” Wayne says slowly, “pretty sure I’m a little too old to have any girl knitting me a scarf.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie groans. “Fine! A mature woman, then. Work with me here!”

Eddie gets a raised eyebrow at the mature woman comment, but Wayne lets it slide. He tilts his head consideringly as he spoons some beans out onto a plate by the stove, where he’s already got toast waiting. He tilts the pan at Eddie, wordlessly offering, and Eddie shakes his head.

“I suppose I’d have to get her something in return,” Wayne finally says. “Or make her something, if I was the creative type.”

Eddie gets another pointed look at those last two words, and he groans again, letting his head fall back in defeat, because he’d been afraid that would be the answer.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to make. It’s not like I can make him warm clothes or do anything useful,” Eddie says, so caught up in the sudden and dramatic realization that all of his hobbies are entirely useless that he doesn’t manage to duck in time when Wayne gives him a not-entirely-gentle smack on the back of the head as he passes by into the living room.

“Stop that. The things you make are just fine. It doesn’t have to be useful, it just has to be thoughtful,” Wayne says, settling into his chair. “So quit standing around whining and go come up with something you can make to woo your boy.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie covers his face, even though Wayne will definitely already know he’s gone red. “You’re actually the worst. I don’t know why I talk to you.”

“You’re welcome for the advice,” Wayne drawls.

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie waves a dismissive hand at him, but the quick “thanks” he throws out afterwards is entirely sincere.

He retreats to his room after that; apparently, he has some thinking to do.

[Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue | Ao3]

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Temporary Custody"

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Steve x ofc x Bucky; Steve x Bucky

Word Count: 3658

Tags: Dom/sub, bdsm au, dom Bucky, sub reader, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, gay sex'n'stuff, straight sex'n'stuff, Steve being a literal Golden Retriever, mental health issues, dub-con, forced submission, bakery au, m/f/m, gentle domination, total power exchange

Summary: The stigma and shame of being a submissive has kept Mary unfulfilled and in the closet her whole life, until an inciting incident leads to Bucky and Steve taking her in and giving her everything she was always too afraid to ask for.

Trigger warnings: This story contains background themes of eating disordered behavior, body image issues, self-harm, and alcohol abuse.

Wait! I haven't read an earlier chapter of this fic! Story Masterpost

3. Cream filled Sponge Cakes (with chemicals)

Bucky

They plan out what they’re going to do when they get to the hospital on the car ride over.

“I think it’s best if you wait outside at first,” Bucky says, glancing away from the road for a second to try and gauge Steve’s reaction to this. He looks neutral. “Just because she’s already pissed,” he adds. “And it’ll probably be overwhelming having one person telling her they’re taking custody, let alone two.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “That makes sense.”

Bucky holds his hand out over the center console, waiting for Steve to take it. He does, and Bucky grips his hand tight. “I’ll get the initial stuff out of the way. I’m sure there’s gonna be a ton of paperwork.”

“What if she refuses?” Steve worries. “She can, right?”

Bucky sighs. “Yeah. I don’t have any legal hold on her. Yet. I’ll just have to try and talk sense into her, get her to see that we’re better than the alternative.”

Steve gives his hand a squeeze back. “You can do it.”

Bucky sighs. “I hope so. I really do.” Inside though, he’s already not so sure.

They get to the hospital about forty-five minutes after Bucky’d hung up from the phone call with the police officer. He spots a cruiser parked outside when they approach the emergency room, and it rankles his nerves to think of Mary being forcibly shoved into the back seat of said car.

He goes to the check in desk with Steve and asks for Officer Santiago. “I got a call about an involuntary hold. My submissive,” he says. 

The woman at the desk does a double take at that, looking up and down Bucky where he stands like she’s just realized he’s a different species. “Oh,” she says. “You're one of those?” 

Bucky ignores it, but he can sense Steve tensing up by his side, indignant on his behalf. “Yes,” he says. “I am.” He’s not going to waste time getting on his spiel about mental illness and stigmatization. They’ve got bigger problems right now. “I’m going to need her records,” he says, injecting authority into his tone. “And any paperwork for transfer of custody. The cops brought her in. Name’s Mary.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and tries to look self-assured while he waits, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if the woman demands a last name.

It takes her several minutes to gather everything up for Bucky. She hands it all over to him and says, “That’s the paperwork for custody. The attending physician should be able to provide you with her medical workup.” She points to a set of double doors. “You go down that hallway and to the left. Bed number four.”

Bucky nods and thanks her, then turns to Steve.

“I know,” Steve says, putting on a brave smile. “I’ll wait here.”

“Baby.” Bucky steps close, pulling him into his arms. Steve’s physically just a little bigger than him, and Bucky has always liked the novelty of that. He kisses him gently and then rests their foreheads together for a moment, letting Steve feel their connection. “I love you,” he says quietly. “You’re the best thing I could ever hope for, you know that?”

Steve’s smile is more natural, now. “Yeah I know it.” He gives Bucky another kiss and stands back. “Hey, what about this?” He knocks on Bucky’s shoulder—the metal one. “She know about that?”

Bucky realizes that he’s not wearing his glove, and tries to remember if he’d had it on at the café. He frowns. “Oh well. I don’t think that’s going to be her main focus, not after I explain everything to her.”

“Yeah.” Steve gives him a light push. “I Love you. Now on and get the hard part over with. I’ll be here when you need me.” 

Bucky nods. He knows he will. He goes back to the check in desk, one last question on his mind. “Is there a food court or something around here?”

Mary

Mary’s taken a break from saying pissy things to the cop who’s guarding her. She’s been so angry, she’s felt like her skin’s boiling. But now she’s starting to get tired, too. She hadn’t slept last night, just stayed up and gabbed on the phone to that crisis counselor. 

She grits her teeth as she fumes about that, feeling betrayed all over again. That bitch had called the cops on her!

“You can tell me anything you want to. I’m here to listen, remember?”

Liar!

“I hope you know I don’t have insurance,” Mary snaps at the officer. He’s sitting in a chair in her little curtained off area. He regards her coolly, saying nothing, and she jerks her head to indicate the emergency room. “And I’m not paying a single red cent for any of this.” So far, they’ve taken her blood, her pulse, an EKG, and sent in nurses, a resident, and several shrinks. They’d tried to put an IV in her but she’d ripped it out as soon as nobody was looking. “I’m suing the hospital,” she adds. “And you. I’m suing the whole police department.”

“Okay,” Santiago says, annoyingly calm.

Mary growls, rattling her hand where it’s cuffed to the bed rail. “This is unconstitutional!”

There’s the sound of a throat clearing, and then the curtain to their area is being pulled aside. Mary’s eyes go wide when she sees who it is. “You?!”

Bucky smiles politely at her. “Me.” He steps into the curtained room, a little snack bag in his hand. He holds it up to show her, and she sees the Hostess logo. It’s a bag of little … sponge cake pastries. “Best I could do on such short notice. They’re for you, if you behave,” he says, talking to her like a pet being offered a treat.

Mary wrinkles her nose. “Pass. D’you even know all the chemicals they put in those things?”

Bucky shrugs and turns to offer them to officer Santiago, who more than happily accepts. Mary pouts as she watches him rip open the bag and stuff one in his mouth.

“How are you doing, Mary?”

She turns her attention to Bucky and scowls at the way he uses her name like he knows her. “Awful,” she says. She jerks her head at Santiago. “Officer Dickwad over here won’t let me have my phone.”

“Language,” Santiago says dispassionately, through a mouthful of cake. 

“Shut up and eat your fucking donut, Rent’a’cop.”

Bucky

He puts his foot down once she starts flinging curses and insults at the officer. As a paramedic, Steve is always in and out of emergency rooms, often working in coordination with law enforcement to deal with uncooperative patients. So Bucky knows just how much drama and belligerence these guys have to deal with on the regular. 

“Hey,” he says sternly. “Don’t disrespect him. He’s just doing his job.” He’s not mean about it, but it’s verging on what Steve likes to call his “Dom” voice, and Bucky can see how it affects Mary. She freezes up, all of her focus on him. For a few seconds, she even forgets to be angry. Bucky takes the opportunity to step close to the bed. He eyes where she’s cuffed to the rail. “Mary,” he says gently. “I know you don’t want to be here. I know you’re angry.”

“You’re damn right I am,” she growls. “They just showed up and threw me in a cop car! Didn’t even give me a choice!”

Bucky reaches out and places his hand atop her cuffed wrist. It’s his metal hand. Her eyes widen when she sees it, but she doesn’t pull away. “I know,” Bucky says. “And I’m sorry it happened that way. But do you understand why people were concerned for your safety?”

Her face tenses up as she tries to hold back some emotion (something tells Bucky it isn’t anger, this time). “They called the cops,” she pouts. “They lied to me.”

“They did,” Bucky agrees, wanting to placate her. “But you were hurting yourself, honey. And you were talking about doing worse, weren’t you?”

She can’t meet his eyes, instead staring at where he’s holding her wrist. “I … I talked about a lot of things,” she mumbles. “It was just talk. I don't even remember half of it. I didn’t … I wasn’t really gonna do anything.”

“Can you show me where you hurt yourself?” Bucky asks, careful to keep his voice gentle. “I want to see how bad it is.”

Mary shivers, shaking her head sadly. Her hair is loose and hanging messy around her face, so Bucky reaches up to tuck it behind her ear. He hears her give a quiet, shaky inhale. “Come on now,” he coaxes. “Let me see.”

For a long moment, it seems like she won’t obey, but then her shoulders sink down and she takes a deep breath and lets it out, whispering a tiny little. “... kay,” as her hands creep down to take hold of the tee shirt she’s wearing. It’s extra large, going all the way to her knees, and it’s all she’s wearing. Bucky doesn’t know if the police brought her in that way, or if it’s something the hospital gave her to put on after being examined, but either way, he schools his expression as she edges the tee shirt up her leg, higher and higher, until it becomes apparent that she is wearing underwear, and she’s bared her hip to him.

Cutting, then.

Bucky looks her over, not as upset by the fresh cuts so much as the old ones. They litter the skin of her upper thigh and hip—some so old they’re scars, some still in various stages of healing. Bucky forces himself not to touch, even though his brain is screaming at him to fix fix fix! There’s nothing here that can be fixed easily—certainly not with a bandaid. Bucky takes a moment to calm himself down before he asks, “How long have you been doing this, honey?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she whispers. She shoves the tee shirt back down and meets his eyes. “Why are you here?”

Moment of truth, Bucky thinks. “The police called me. They got my number from your phone. They wanted to call your Dom to come get you.”

She frowns, looking confused. “But … you’re not—”

“Officer Santiago,” Bucky says quickly, cutting her off. “Could you give us a moment alone please?”

“Sure.” Santiago gets up and takes his bag of cakes with him. “Just a couple’a minutes,” he warns, then steps outside the curtain and pulls it shut. Bucky can see as his shoes walk away.

“You told them you were my Dom?!” Mary hisses.

Bucky looks at her sternly. “No. They assumed I was. You had me in your phone.”

“I … I did?”

Bucky’s mouth quirks. “Yeah, you did.”

“Well that doesn’t mean anything,” she huffs. “I’m not even submissive.”

“I think you know that’s not true,” Bucky says. He reaches up and gathers her hair back in one fist and pulls—gently, just enough to put the barest of pressure on her scalp—forcing her to raise her chin. She visibly reacts to it, softening into his grip, eyes slipping closed and features going slack. “You like that,” Bucky says, making it a statement rather than a question, because it’s obvious she does.

Her eyes open slowly. “S’nothing. It doesn’t mean anything.”

He releases her hair, cupping the back of her neck instead. He grips her firmly in his hand, and this time she nearly moans, lips parting and the sound coming out before she can fully stifle it. Bucky’s mouth curls and he hums. “And that? Is that ‘nothing’ too?”

“Please.” She’s having a hard time maintaining eye contact, which is typical. There’s a little pinch between her eyebrows that’s so sweet and needy, Bucky wants to kiss it. It makes her look like she might cry, and that thrills him too. “Please,” she whispers. “I just wanna go home.”

“You’re not going home, Honey,” he tells her, keeping the grip on her neck steady and petting at her hair with his other hand. She’s going down a little, likely so easily because of the alcohol in her system, because of how deprived she’s been until now. She whines a little at his words and he shushes her. “They won’t let you. You’re either gonna have to let me take you, or else stay here in the hospital, in the psych ward.”

Mary whimpers. “No.”

“Shhh,” he soothes. “I know. I don’t want that for you either, but you have to make the choice. If you want to leave here, then you have to sign the paperwork that gives me custody of you.” He tilts her chin up. “Look at me now, Honey.” She’s sluggish, so it takes a second, but her eyes come up as she obeys. They’re a little glossy, pupils blown wide, and Bucky gives her neck an encouraging squeeze. “Good girl,” he praises.

She practically melts at hearing that. “Please …” she says again. 

Bucky would bet money that she doesn’t know what she’s asking for. He does, though. He knows down to the marrow of his bones what a ‘please’ like that means. “Don’t worry, Doll. I’ll take care of you. I will.” He bends and pecks a kiss to her forehead, then steps away. She makes a weak noise of protest and he shushes her. 

“I’m just gonna go get officer Santiago back. … And my husband, Steve.”

She blinks at the word ‘husband’. “Steve?” she repeats, shoulders shrinking as she pulls into herself. “But—”

“It’s okay,” Bucky promises. “He’s a very nice man. You’ll like him.”

Mary looks unsure. Bucky’s glad she’s down, otherwise he’s fairly certain she’d be arguing by now, maybe even pitching a fit and cursing. Instead, what comes out of her mouth is a hesitant little, “... He’s like you?” 

“No. No he’s not designated. He’s—”

“Normal.” She says it so sadly, sounds so demoralized. Bucky has to fight the urge to correct her, to give her a speech about how, ‘just because they’re designated, it doesn’t make them abnormal’. He bites his tongue. What’s more important right now is that she’s making progress in accepting the reality that she’s almost certainly submissive.

“Yeah,” he says. “Steve’s not like us. But I wanted him to come in here and meet you. Do you think you can do that for me, Sweetie?” The pet names come naturally, are a part of his dynamic as a Dom, and Bucky can tell that she responds favorably to them. “Hm? Answer me, Mary.”

(And of course, the use of her name gets instant attention and obedience.)

“Okay,” she says. “Yes.”

He smiles and gives her a heartfelt, “Good girl,” wanting to show her that he’s pleased, that she’s doing well. “I’m gonna go get him, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Steve

Steve is equal parts excited and nervous to meet the woman Bucky has found, the woman they’re going to be taking care of. … Maybe more, if things work out. 

He holds Bucky’s hand as he’s led back to where the emergency room beds are. Bucky draws back the curtain and Steve sees the cop sitting there, looking bored, … and her.

“Oh,” he breathes. “Hey.”

She’s pretty—which is saying a lot, because that’s Steve’s first thought, despite the state of her. She’s got goo gobs of dark eye makeup that it looks like she put on once she was already drunk, and by now it’s been smeared to kingdom come by tears and her own hands. Her hair sits messy and unbrushed around her shoulders, and her eyes are glazed and tired from a high that’s probably going to wear off soon and leave her looking even more exhausted than she already does. 

“Hey,” Steve says, eyes flicking up and down her body where she’s sitting on the bed. She’s wearing nothing but a big tee shirt, and Steve allows himself one glance down at her shapely legs, then resolutely keeps his eyes trained upwards. She’s a disheveled mess, but even like that, Steve can see how she drew Bucky’s attention, that day in the café.

“Hi,” Mary says.

Steve smiles hopefully. By his side, Bucky squeezes his hand in encouragement, and offers, “Mary, this is Steve, my husband.”

Steve watches her face, curious to know what she thinks of Bucky being married. He’s expecting displeasure maybe, imagining that a submissive would feel jealous or upset, if their prospective Dom was already attached to someone else.

But she seems to stay calm, sitting there and taking Steve in with slow blinks, even looking a little bit shy herself. “... You’re big,” she eventually says. “I thought you’d be smaller than him.”

Steve grins and he hears Bucky’s scoffed, “Size has nothing to do with our dynamic.”

Steve knows he’s got half an inch on Bucky, more muscle mass too, but he’s never felt bigger than his husband. Bucky’s personality, his dominance, is larger than Steve.

Mary’s still staring at him, a thoughtful little pinch between her eyebrows. Steve waits in expectation of a question, but none comes. “What?” he asks. He pulls up the room’s extra plastic chair and sits close to the bed, offering her his hand. He’s surprised when she takes it. Steve stares thoughtfully at his hand as she drags her fingers over his fingers, his palm, still not saying anything. He looks over at Bucky, concerned. “Did they give her drugs?”

Thankfully, Bucky chuckles and shakes his head. “She’s down,” he explains.

Oh. Okay. That’d explain her calm affect. Steve had come in here halfway expecting a screaming hellcat. He hadn’t expected this. He turns back to Mary, giving her a friendly look. “Did you have questions you wanted to ask me?”

She bites her lip, clearly working something out in her head. “Bucky said you two have a ‘dynamic’.”

“He did.”

“But he said you’re normal.”

Steve’s lips thin once he figures out what she means. “We’re all normal,” he scolds. “But no, I don’t have ‘Dominant or Submissive Personality Disorder’, if that’s what you mean.” He puts sarcastic quotes around words to clearly convey his distaste for the classification. He wants her to know how ridiculous he finds it.

“Babe,” Bucky warns quietly from behind. “We’re not getting political right now, okay? Just focus on her, on what we have to do.”

“Right, sorry.” He knows that Bucky’s right, so he tries again, telling Mary, “I’m ‘normal’, but Bucky and I still have a very intimate relationship together. We’re husbands. So yeah, we’ve developed our own dynamic. When I’m with him I tend to follow his lead, so to speak.” He smiles and shrugs. “It works for us.”

Mary looks like she’s thinking this new information over. There’s a slowness to her, a dreaminess in her expressions and her reactions.Steve figures it’s a combination of her being down, and not being sober. In fact, he can smell the vodka leaking out of her pores. It’s actually pretty horrible. “So does that make sense?” he prods her gently. “Mary?”

“… Yeah, I think so.” She eyes him up and down, looking back and forth between him and Bucky. “What will you do?” she asks Steve. She blushes a little from asking the question, so he deduces that she’s asking what he’ll do with her; what their dynamic together will be, outside of her and Bucky.

“I’ll take care of you,” he says, because that’s all he knows for sure, and he wants her to feel safe. Steve knows that it’s absolutely crucial for this woman to feel safe right now, if they’re going to take her home with them. “Bucky and I both will.” He holds her hand—the one that isn’t cuffed to the bed—enveloping it between his. “It’ll be much better than staying here,” he promises. “You’ll be so safe. And much happier.”

Mary’s body draws in, seems to actually get smaller as she pulls back into herself. “I’m never happy,” she says mournfully. It hurts Steve’s heart to see it, so he knows it must be killing Bucky, given his overly protective instincts. Steve glances over at him. “Babe?”

Bucky has a clipboard full of papers, which Steve knows must be the custody orders. “Here, Honey,” he tells Mary, handing her the clipboard and the pen. “This is what you have to sign to be able to come home with us.”

It kind of bothers Steve that Bucky doesn’t encourage her to read through the documents more thoroughly, but he doesn’t say anything because he knows they have only the best intentions for her. She’ll be safe with them. He watches as she signs her signature in the places Bucky points out, trying to scan some of the fine print as she goes. Anxiety is written across her face and she starts to bite at the chapped skin on her bottom lip. “But, um … what if I’m not what you think?” she worried, not looking at either of them. 

Bucky pets her hair and reassures her. “You are, sweetheart. Trust me. And we’re gonna take you to a therapist anyway, to get an official diagnosis.”

Normally Steve would be scoffing at the word “diagnosis,” but he’s too busy watching the two of them together. There’s a strange feeling in his gut, at seeing his husband touch Mary like that, at hearing him call her pet names and calmly take control of her. Steve’s never seen Bucky dom another person before, and he … he kind of doesn’t hate it. In fact, it’s actually making him feel all the more attracted to Bucky, and curious about Mary. Like he wants to help, wants to get to know her.

She signs the rest of the documents without making a fuss, so Steve figures he’ll be getting that chance.

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Square G5: Dom!Bucky Barnes

[mimikyuno]

my yuriful summer 2024 watchlist 🏖️☀️

now that i checked out the first episode of all the yuriful shows i was keeping an eye on, here’s my first thoughts and impressions

Mayonaka Punch

tags: comedy, supernatural, vampire

thoughts on episode 1: LOVED IT SO SO MUCH!!! i love the mc already she’s such a mess and i already love the dynamic between her and the raging vampire lesbian. my favorite from the ones on this list tbh!! need more cancelled youtubers and horny for blood lesbian vampires. also i have a weak spot for anime with adult characters who can drink alcohol and get wasted lol. WILL be watching EAGERLY.

yuri thoughts 🌸: the yuri looks solid!! there was verbal mention of lesbian romantic feelings. and as in most vampire shows, blood drinking is metaphor for sex but it’s made quite explicit in this one which increases the yuri score. the protagonists have already a v interesting dynamic im invested.

(EDIT) POST EP 3 THOUGHTS: i love this one more and more!!! still my fave out of these 5 for some reason? i just like masaki and live’s dynamic a lot, i hope they kiss

(EDIT) ALMOST END OF THE SEASON UPDATE: only one of these im still watching lmao ep 9 and 10 were really good! i hope masaki and live make out by the end. yuki best girl

Na Nare Hana Nare

tags: sports

thoughts on episode 1: LOVE the colors and art style in this one! love that there’s a girl in a wheelchair!! love the brazilian girl who keeps kissing everyone!! the parkour girl is turbo autistic fr… also a ninja lmao. im v interested in this tbh!! will be watching.

yuri thoughts 🌸: im v interested in the possible yuriful dynamics, especially between the girl in a wheelchair and mc, and between parkour ninja autistic and tall girl. i think the brazilian girl and girl who follows her around are also supposed to be shipped.

(EDIT) POST EP 3 THOUGHTS: yeppp turbo autism ninja is a huge lesbian i love her sm 💌. very sweet show!

(EDIT) ALMOST END OF THE SEASON UPDATE: on hold. it got quite boring at the ep 5 mark and i cant will myself to continue. might drop

Senpai was Otokonoko

tags: crossdressing, love polygon, romance, school

thoughts on episode 1: this counts as yuriful and i Will fight u on this. bisexual girl x closeted trans girl x closeted gay childhood friend love triangle? discussions of gender identity? yes pls. will be continuing it!!

yuri thoughts 🌸: makoto and aoi are cute 🥹

(EDIT) POST EP 3 THOUGHTS: idc about whatever happens later on, makoto is a trans girl, episode 2 and 3 are an insane confirmation. even if she never breaks through her eggshell throughout the whole series, she’s trans. no like fr. i love her so so much and i hope she’ll be able to transition (either at the end of the series or afterwards). egg of the season 🥚🏳️‍⚧️

(EDIT) ALMOST END OF THE SEASON UPDATE: meh. dropped lmao

Shikanoko Nokonoko Koshitantan

tags: comedy, gag humor, school

thoughts on episode 1: “shiiiika 🦌!!!” okay y’all know i love me some gag humor anime but tbqh im feeling kinda lukewarm on this one. maybe it’s bc i had rly high expectations for this but idk most of the gags did not hit as nice as i hoped. tho some of them were brilliant (also looove the constant breaking of the fourth wall). not looking forward to the siscon character that’s gonna be introduced. will be continuing but might drop if i get bored. however i loved how they Did mention that only male deer have horns sooo… noko transbian 🦌🏳️‍⚧️?

yuri thoughts 🌸: the two protagonists have great yuri potential!! torako has already shown she’s a huge girl kisser and noko just keeps teasing her, which is a great dynamic imo. also torako’s va is hatsune miku’s voice provider, and we all know hatsune miku is transbian goddess so!

(EDIT) POST EP 3 THOUGHTS: okay nvm i actually love this!!!!!! and the siscon character is such a caricature and parody of the siscon trope that i love her too (also she’s voiced by mafuyu project sekai uwu).

(EDIT) ALMOST END OF THE SEASON UPDATE: dropped lmao (gags got boring, i have seen too many similar shows)

VTuber Nandaga Haishin Kiri Wasuretara Densetsu ni Natteta

tags: comedy, otaku culture

thoughts on episode 1: once again maybe unpopular opinion but im not completely sold on this one. yes it’s fun, yes she’s unhinged, yes they’re all absolutely raging homosexuals BUT idk how to explain it but it feels very much male oriented. idk i think i feel this way bc it’s my personal pet peeve when otaku shows focus mostly on men as the intended audience (for example, when they showed her audience, all the viewers were men which like. they could have shown at least one woman who likes watching her videos yknow?). so anyway. at least it’s incredibly gay? and once again, love characters gettinf drunk lol. but idk i feel like this was made to ride the wave of hololive and get men on twitter to share funny clips idk. i like how they use actual vtuber avatars in certain scenes, and i get the vibe they’ll want to make these girls real vtubers, hence why we dont see what they actually look like but just their vtuber persona. will be checking out more ep but will drop if it gets too meh.

yuri thoughts 🌸: as mentioned, all the girls are RAGING homosexuals fr. asking about favorite lesbian porn scenarios to each other to possibly act them out. hello?!

(EDIT) POST EP 3 THOUGHTS: again nvm, i like this one too now lmao tho i’d rank it last out of these 5 tbh. but it’s so unhinged and deranged that it’s a super fun watch

(EDIT) ALMOST END OF THE SEASON UPDATE: the wii fit -like episode was the last drop. burnt braincells i’ll never grow back. dropped byeee 0/10

[anincompletelist]

wip wednesday :D

HAPPY WEDNESDAY YALL! many thanks to @onthewaytosomewhere @zwiazdziarka @suseagull04 @littlemisskittentoes @sophie1973 @myheartalivewrites @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @theprinceandagcd @rockyroadkylers @eusuntgratie @gayrootvegetable @wordsofhoneydew @captainjunglegym @junebugclaremontdiaz @iboatedhere for the tags, I devoured all of your words with my chick fil a today and WHAT A TREAT <3333

guess who started ANOTHER wip??? (it's me I'm so sorry) but this one is short and already halfway written so we will be back to regularly scheduled programming soon I promise!!!!

for now.........

+

“Okay. So you’re telling me you look and talk like you just stumbled out of Downton Abbey and you aren’t excited about a sex toy named after a character from a Jane Austen novel?” Alex asks. “I mean, c’mon— I’m not even a big Austen fan and I’m a little excited.” 

“Yes, well…” the frown finally gives way to something a little more tender, a little more teasing, blue eyes sparkling as he looks at Alex. 

“Fine, give it back to me then, if you’re gonna be like that.” 

He glances at Alex’s outstretched hand and pulls the box a little closer to his chest. 

“No. I think I’ll hold on to it, actually.” 

“Yeah-eh-eh, you will,” Alex laughs, leaning sideways on the counter with a crooked smile. “C’mon, tell me I’m awesome. Tell me I’m the best. What would you do without me, sweetheart?” 

Despite the way he flushes lightly, Blue Eyes stuffs the toy underneath his arm and raises his chin. “That’s very high praise for someone that sold me a single sex toy. Once.” 

“And you came back.” Alex plants his hands on the desk and leans forward over the register. “Credit where credit’s due, man.”

With a curious hum, the guy doesn’t look away as he sets the box on the counter to be rung up and retrieves his wallet from the side of his coat, laying his card with it. Alex hears his finger tap twice on top of it. 

“I suppose you’re right,” he concedes. A pink tongue darts out to wet plush lips, the clear blue darkening just a tad. “You’re very good, Alex.”

+

tagging (no pressure!): @kiwiana-writes (I hope you're feeling better friend, thinking of you!) @firenati0n @nocoastposts @affectionatelyrs @inexplicablymine @daisymae-12 @bigassbowlingballhead @xthelastknownsurvivorx @anchoredarchangel @rmd-writes @hypnostheory @futureseaempress @ships-to-sail @gay-flyboys @sunnysideprince @firstsprinces @priincebutt <33333

xx

[batbux]

Bats usually keep an eye on large gatherings in Gotham, but in this case Bruce literally can't pay them enough to do their jobs.

---

In Gotham, large gatherings are always risky business. With half a dozen big name rogues with half a dozen screws loose, things can get out of hand FAST.

So yes, forgive Bruce if he likes having at least two bats or birds on the scene when people group together and make themselves easy targets.

His rag-tag group of children, adult or otherwise, usually agree with him. But in this case-

"I'm not going out of my way to help anti-gay protestors," Tim says before Bruce even let's himself think about which of his partners in anti crime he would like at his back. "I'm the one that green-lit the Wayne Enterprises gay agenda that they're protesting."

"That's... Fair."

And it was! Bruce was hardly going to force his bisexual son to save people that would tear him down if given half the chance. He'd demanded far too selflessness of Tim already.

It was just... No one else was volunteering either.

---

Dick, alerted by Tim about the group of anti-gay protestors planning their little event on Facebook, takes one look at Bruce approaching and shakes his head.

"I've heard what they said about my baby brother," he cautions before Bruce can say anything.

Tim, out and secure in his identity, doesn't care what any civilians have to say about him. Dick, deeply angry and protective, cares very much what slander people sling at his little brother.

Bruce, understanding that maybe his eldest was getting better about managing his anger, but deeply unwilling to test his resolve, nods and backs away.

---

Damian is his next choice, though he doesn't hold very high hopes for him either.

"Father, I will not be responsible for the safety of fools willingly endangering themselves," Damian says, reasonably and Bruce is glad to hear it. He has a whole speech about protecting civilians even if they act in defiance of their own safety. It's blown to pieces when Damian explains further. "I've already taken the liberty of inviting Jon and his paramour to heckle them."

"No metas in Gotham," Bruce says before his brain can catch up to his mouth. "This is already a tense situation and-"

"No metas in Gotham," Damian repeats, pitching his voice lower as he mocks his father. "What do you propose Duke is, Father?"

This is an argument he isn't willing to have. Not right now. He puts a pin in it and reaches out to Jon to politely request that he doesn't make an appearance at the protest. Jon concedes in exchange for his permission to come to Gotham's pride event next week. Bruce gives it under the stipulation that Jon and Jay let him give them a full primer on Gotham rogues and how to counter them.

---

Stephanie is somehow warned in advance and texts him before he can reach out to her.

"sorry not sorry, if doctors in Texas can choose to let people die then so can I. ask someone else to help w your homophobe problem"

Bruce wants to point out that is a gross simplification of the fraught political state of Texas. He also wants to point out that they are nowhere near Texas.

He wonders about the feasibility of sponsoring abortion access and trans healthcare in another state if only because it is GENUINELY funny when bigots with talk shows get into a tizzy over Brucie Wayne.

He lets the thought lie for the moment.

---

Duke hears him out, at least, before telling him that he's really sorry, B, but he's gonna be sick that day. It's all very sad, has he tried to talk to Jason?

---

Cass looks at him. He looks at her. They both know she won't be his backup.

---

He hates to say it, but Jason WAS his last choice in this situation. Not for lack of trust or faith in his abilities, but because-

"I'm asking Aunt Harley to have Poison Ivy start a pollen induced gay orgy," he says bluntly when Bruce asks if Jason would be busy on the day of the protest.

"At the-"

"At Wayne Enterprises, for the protest. Yes. Stay away if you value your heterosexuality, old man."

Bruce, remembering his college days and the types of things he's gotten up to in his own time, doesn't correct his son. Revealing that his father was intimately familiar with gay sex isn't a conversation Bruce ever wanted to have with Jason. Or anyone else.

Bruce, wisely, lets the police handle the protest.

[bengiyo]

Absolute Zero Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

I’ve been waiting for this for so long. I have listened to the moody playlists and gotten into my headspace for this. Time for Sad Gay Boy hours!!

2008? Peak sad boy era for me!

Incredible selection of films in this rental store. Railway Man, Star Trek: First Contact, The Patriot, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and LOVE OF SIAM.

We just started and our boy is already sad. We are so fucking back.

“If math doesn’t define zero, then I’ll be the answer.”

He rented Kill Bill and two other films. He is definitely a boy.

Looks like one of our future people is already here.

A grave for his parents? Is he Catholic? I’m home.

You can’t be in a Studio Wabi Sabi joint if you can’t cry.

I’m gonna need a Thai-speaking fan (maybe @lurkingteapot or @recentadultburnout) to give insight about the book he’s reading at 8:00

I’m so into the mysterious vibes of this foreboding conversation.

Meeting a boy because of selected seats at a movie theater because you both went alone? Honestly, the dream.

Boy Sompob singing over two boys having a meet cute? Now this is BL.

They’re here to see the same romcom again!!

New Siwaj has a type. These boys kinda resemble Tee and Fuse.

The boys have hair on their legs.

Suansoon understands the fundamentally communal nature of watching a film in a theater of other people even if you go alone. I am already in love.

Ongsa is definitely flirting, but now why is he crying?

Ongsa is classy for bringing a blanket to sit on for the outdoor film.

THEY ARE WATCHING THE LOVE OF SIAM AT THIS OUTDOOR THEATER!!!

Now they’re bonding over sad wishes to a meteor. Incredible.

I can’t believe the cut to the future at “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Welcome back, Nat!!!

OMG the meteor shower yes was so fucking cute I’m going to melt.

These two grew up to have a big TV that doesn’t look sloppy on the wall. I’m so proud of them.

Aw, the video store owner passed away, and they’re asked to take all the DVDs.

They have a projector in their bedroom because of course they do. Obsessed with them.

Oh, and there’s the tragedy.

Next week, the time travel perspective begins.

Friends, mutuals, and beloved BL fans, abandon all hope of me being normal about this show. We have sad gay cinephiles who found each other at a movie theater and then stayed together for ten years. If you write about this show or make anything please tag me. I want to discuss every aspect of this show. This was gorgeous and felt so intentional.

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

[intothedysphoria]

Bloody hell, it’s been a fucking age since I’ve done one of these

Hey Harringrove nation besties. It’s gonna be ok.

I know it doesn’t feel like it with the state of well, anything that’s going on in the world but it will be. So I have created a list of good things both in the world of two fictional gay teenagers and a few things happening in the real world rn that are not depressing as shit

We have a new Dacre project coming! And it looks gooddddddd

If Billy was alive in 2024, he’d definitely be a Chappell Roan fan

I have now seen a photo of Joe in a yellow crop top and it has added several years to my lifespan

Imagining Harringrove running a drag race recap podcast that they’ve named something absolutely filthy and they’re happy and out and together

I do truly think Dacre knows what he means to us

Mullets are in full force again and the amount of men I have seen who look exactly like Billy Hargrove is incredible

Steve makes Billy teach him how to surf and he somehow manages to capsize every single time

Billy Hargrove’s hatred for capitalism lived on and on todays 4th of July, the UK got rid of the fucking Tories. Starmer may be a wanker but he isn’t a fascist.

@shieldofiron exists and I know I told her I wouldn’t tag anyone in this but Saf is one of the best people I know genuinely and she’s one of my best friends

This fandom is and continues to be one of the most resilient online communities I know. It’s been a tough year but the compassion I’ve seen people show each other in these spaces has really made me regain hope. And remember abuse is not the end, recovery is not linear and you will be ok. Promise.

(Yes this is actually me, I’m just on a new account!)

[tinukis]

(OKAY. I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY (i got REALLY carried away.) AND NOW I WILL PROVIDE VERY FEW INFO ON SABOSAN HISTORY AS EARLY AS 2014.)

sabosan existing on here since at least 2017 is crazy

(it's ask blogs and im lazy to know the lore but all ik is that sabo and sanji have kids while sanji is in extreme denial abt being gay)

i wanna know how far back sabosan goes... like at leasT 2015 or 2016??? (anime timeline) and maybe 2014 (manga timeline) idk im just guessing bc i dont know what year sabo returned so

OK BUT THE SLIM CHANCE THAT SABOSAN BECAME A THING LIKE ALMOST A DECADE AGO DRIVES ME INSANE I NEED TO INVESTIGATE WAIT

on pixiv in the sabosan tag (サボサン) the oldest works on there is from 2015. (i mean when u look up サボサン you get this cactus mascot which is p hilarious)

i theorize that sabosan became recognized because of zou/wci. bc thats when we learn about sanji's history. i notice that it seem to be more recognized by a few fans as early as 2016 (when wci started)

so those big brained individuals were onto something then. they saw two blonde characters that shared similar histories and went. "wait a minute. i can cook something with this"

and you know what sanji's good at? taking any ingredients and making something amazing out of it. thats what early sabosan fans did

there are Very Little content of them/i cant read japanese and i just mostly find the cactus mascot, but they were there. at Least as early as sabo's return. and at that time, fans did not receive sanji's past. they just took these guys like barbie dolls and made them kiss... anyway i need them to meet and i want to see the longtime fans react as theyve waited nearly a decade for that very moment

(kinda doubtful but let me dream!!!)

OKAY ANOTHER UPDATE (YES IM TYPING EVERYTHING IN ONE POST) i learned how to search dates on the bird app once more and. im seeing posts from jpn about sabosan !!!

one of my favorite ones:

the people understanding since 2016... that sanji goes well with ASL brothers :'D

ok found another tweet (and the users are still active !!) and translation seems butchered so im not gonna share but from what i could understand, this other user also likes sanji with ASL... this is amazing. LIKE im aware of the impact acesan had, especially bc of the anime including ace in alabasta (i understand deeply. i mean have you SEEN the way ace acted around sanji⁉️⁉️ lighting his cigarette... smirking at him when sanji turns his back... i know what you are. they Definitely spent an entire night (or more) alone together <3) but for sabo to be included to since this long ago, esp considering the two never met?!?? and the one connection is being royal blood...

again i cannot include everything, esp long posts bc the translation gets butchered but aaahh just ppl talk about the pairing, any potentials about it makes me happy... and gives me hope for the agenda to spread wider lol. what looks like that has been said is that a couple of people really like pairing sanji with multiple characters, esp ASL... and i understand so well. theres just something about sanji being so shippable

there are also fans speaking to other sanji ships fans, and they ask/say "i want to see your sabosan !!" it's great...

ahahhaa AHAHAHA FOUND ANOTHER POST I CAN SHARE:

sabo POP figure from 2016 (aaah i want it so bad...)

and the suit he wears in this figure, it does look like sanji's fit now that the user mentioned it 👀👀

okay i dug a little more and found another sabosan fan! at first i was unsure as they could be talking about another user or a cactus or something. but as it turns out, they are indeed a sabosan fan! they've said things like "i wish sabosan was more popular"/"i wish for sabosan" and this is dated back in 2016! plus one of my favorite posts (translated into deepL as i had a feeling that twt had butchered the translation and...)

they get it. they got it. as i mentioned earlier, the fans definitely knew what was up when wci happened. THEY WERE COOKING BACK IN 2016!!! which... i believe i should now start digging as early as i can. maybe for zou or dressrosa years!! bc certainly, this pairing was actually talked about during 2016-2017. it was wonderful to see!

oh my goodness... i decided to look from start of 2015 to the end, and so far in late 2015, the same user from the above translation, has been talking about them still! they mentioned sabosan fanworks, and how they read a heartbreaking fic⁉️⁉️ i cant tell you how happy i was to read that. sabosan being a thing and having angst works, even if i can't read them. (never mess with one piece fans, especially if they are fujoshi !! they'll find their ways. im honestly fascinated. i love fandom history if you couldnt tell by this post!)

plus, some fans calling themselves delusional for thinking of this pairing... if only i could be there with you, longtime fan.

and i'll be real here, i dont know of the popularities back then but the comparison of sanji and sabo being nobles are great :] (maybe bc i've just seen ppl being mean to sabo recently 😔)

okay im sure this post is getting wayyy too long so i'll try to wrap up my investigations. bc there are many posts to look through but sabosan being talked about as early as 2015 (as i write this) is just... very joyous news to me ;w;

im sure i will be missing lots of good posts (despite the horrible machine translations) but i am shaking hands with 2015-2017 fans in solidarity... at most 9 years later

!!! GREAT NEWS. 2014 posting!!

original tweet and deepL translation... dated mid december 2014. nearly a whole decade ago. i swear sabosan will go viral, way more than when zou/wci was in progress. im sure of it

i really cant put into words how im feeling or what im really thinking. just know im happy to find fans from 2014 !!

OH MY GOD.

⁉️⁉️⁉️ AUGUST 2014 BTW. and im assuming its supposed to be "sabo started with" or something but... the content. sabosan content. 2014. it's out there. SHAKES YOU. THE CRUMBS (also this user is a sabosan fan and i think acesan fan too as i did see mentjons of them... so this just...)

THEYVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME AAAAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

NOW IM CURIOUS WITH HOW MANY POSTS IVE BEEN MISSING⁉️⁉️ yall the agenda must spread farther

ASL/sanji mentioned! august 2014

omg again from the same user

shaking your hand in spirit (april 2014!!!)

there have been fans of this pairing as early as april 2014!!!! and have been manifesting for their popularity for awhile 😭😭😭 (plus this user is still active! im not sure if theyre still into one piece but... i hope for the longtime/past fans to see it all soon)

i think my investigation into sabosan history ends here after a long post and hours of searching... unless i somehow find something earlier than april 2014, the earliest moment that sabosan was first talked about was in the year 2014. Q2 2014. back when dressrosa was still ongoing. do you know how insane that is? before wci.

i think we can come to a conclusion that sabosan was a concept as early as 2014 was all becaude of acesan. thats the pattern i noticed. ace/acesan was often mentioned. and i believe it's bc not only are ace and sabo brothers, but bc sabo aimed to eat the mera mera no mi. and if sanji were to meet sabo, sanji would be reminded of his late lover, ace. and the angst potential is so real... sanji looking at sabo... just as a replacement for ace? ouch

i know the fans were having a field day when they learned about sanji's blood family :']

side note: there are likely things lost due to users deactivating or whatnot... and i doubt i'd be able to search via wayback machine. and as much as i dont like pinterest for reposting art, there are pieces of the two ive never seen before

[emry-stars-art]

Regarding the incredible royal AU (THAT I LOVE SO MUCH ALREADY🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡) If that’s okay I would love to hear more about andreil and what happens next? Maybe about them becoming official (like official official- being recognised as a prince and his betrothed/ husband(?)) (I guess it depends if in your AU people officially recognise gay relationships (hopefully they do? :D) and just the overall reactions to that event or maybe like the scene of one of them proposing to the other (I don’t really know about engagements in history, do you need to properly court somebody? Or do you just give them a ring and ask?)

This is getting long and you don’t need to answer or anything but I just wanted to say I absolutely adore the way u draw the characters and their poses and interactions and I always love your additions like headcanons and notes and stuff (it’s honestly thrilling to read I can’t stop I love it so much)🥰🥹❤️❤️❤️ Hope you have a good day!!

Hello!! First thank you so much you’re so kind to come here and say all these things 🥹💕

As for andreil becoming official - I think yes. When I do royal aus I wouldn’t necessarily call the universe/world “queer normative” because the higher in station you go, the more true “straight until proven otherwise” holds - no one frowns on gay relationships and the setting is perfectly accepting, they just kind of… expect their rulers to be straight for bloodline convenience and all that 🤷 and it’s not like Andrew is trying to be subtle either, he keeps his relationships and ‘affairs’ to himself well but once he actually takes a liking to Abram he’s not really trying to hide it (case in point: here). He just lets the rumors about his sexuality spread and hopes he won’t have to make a big deal about coming out.

The really really fun part about universes like this is that we can kind of make up the traditions to be whatever we want! I love love love the idea of courting, I think it’s got great possibilities (and I’m so certain Aaron courting Katelyn was like the floweriest, cutest thing ever omg) so I’d love to make Andrew actually commit to courting Abram 😂 But like in canon where Andrew and Neil (and this is only a widely accepted head canon) don’t make a big deal about a proposal and wedding, probably having a tiny wedding or just going to the courthouse - Prince Andrew doesn’t make it a grand, super special thing like King Aaron and Katelyn wanted to. He picks the parts he likes and makes sure he meets all the basic expected requirements (because I want SO BADLY for Andrew to secretly be a sap, he likes the romantic stuff he just doesn’t like making it public) and then when Abram wants to, they get married and Abram becomes whatever title is next in line after prince. Duke? I don’t remember right now but yeah to avoid confusion/political issues he is not technically also considered a prince.

The people as a general rule love this, people like parties and they like celebration and a wedding is both of those and the prince seems happy so that’s as good as it’s gonna get. No one’s going to be able to say Abram doesn’t make them a tiny bit wary because let’s be real. Abram’s nature before you get to know him can be off putting. But that’s the only real thing anyone would have against their marriage.

ANYWAY. god there’s so many ways it could go, so many little things and fun possibilities to consider when you think about an Abram/Andrew courtship and SINCE WE GET TO MAKE UP THE RULES?? If you guys start putting courtship ideas in the tags and replies I might melt omg 😭🥰 sappy Andrew, Abram picking up on it when he realizes how much Andrew likes it (the only thing he’s actually sappy about is making Andrew blush and making him feel special in ways that aren’t just because of his station), parts they put on for show and the little cute things they do for each other when no one else is there… AUGH

Yeah to answer your question: the people are surprised but cool with a gay prince, they think his fiancé’s a little spooky but whatever, and andreil court at Andrew’s pace and get married when Abram is ready and everyone is happy :D

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

How DCLA characters read + write fanfictions

Won’t do everyone but will do many.

Violetta can read all kinds of fics, although she knows her limits and if she gets uncomfortable, she stops reading. But, if she finishes a fic, she leaves the most heartwarming comment known to man. When she writes herself, she plans it out beforehand and basically writes the wholeass fic before posting the first chapter. Every title and author’s note has a song lyrics.

Ludmila refuses to read anything over 5000 words (unless it’s multichapter, but in that case she wants every chapter to be around 2000 words max). HOWEVER, she writes the LONGEST fics known to man. Her longest fic is currently 140+ chapters, the original plot disappeared LONG ago and now it’s simply characters doing slice of life things. But she has a dedicated reader fanbase that sometimes have rereads and they make memes and quote stuff daily.

Luna never checks how long fics are and have accidentally ended up reading a 100k fic in one night. She does read all kinds, but that’s because she doesn’t check the tags or ratings either, so poor girl has seen things… She also writes long comments that are just filled with emojis and exclamation points. She does post fics, but it’s very spread out and it’s rare that a fic gets updated. She posts new fics the second she got a new idea and then never update them. Her longest running fic got up to 5 chapters and that was only because she was very hyperfocused on that very fic. All fics are very slice of life and G-rated. She also very rarely writes any romance. If there’s romance then that’s not the main focus at all.

Ámbar only reads angsty stuff. She needs to FEEL something. She has read the most heavy, gory and graphic fics with a straight face. She never leaves comments but she’s there… reading it all… She also is not capable to write any fic herself without it being angsty. She has tried to cut it down, but every fic eventually has to change the rating to M or E. And… yes, she has 100% written smut.

Bia does not write fics herself, but she does like to read some others and often draws fanart of their fics. She’s known in her fandoms to be ”the fanfic artist” and everyone secretly hopes she’s gonna draw scenes from their fics.

Camila reads anything and everything, but instead of stopping when she doesn’t like a fic, she finishes it and then leaves a comment telling them she didn’t like it. In her words, they should KNOW she didn’t like it and why. She has BEEF with fic writers because of this. She also found Ludmila’s fanfic account and she LOVES to leave cryptid comments hinting that she knows her irl. With her own fics, she loves to create shock for the readers. She often kills of a random character, make people cheat, make people break up… and she loves confusing people, especially if they point out they are confused - then she’ll confuse them even more!

Pixie doesn’t read others fics because she is extremely picky with what she likes. So, that’s why she only writes them herself. It’s often VERY self-insertive, you notice she often writes about specific characters and it feels like she’s projecting whatever is going on in her life on them. Her readers often feel pretty touched by her fics though, thinking she just makes them feel so ”real”, and she only gets nice comments

Yam primarily reads and writes anything gay, ofc. She’s in a mix of fandoms, so the bigger fandoms are usually the ones she reads more in, and then she writes fics herself for the smaller fandoms, who would need some fics. She says she can read anything, but the second a fic gets a bit steamy she gets awkward about it and kinda has a hard time continuing to read.

Nina reads the most stuff, but she prefers reading romantic fics, especially about ships she likes. She has no problems reading smut, although writing it herself? No, she gets a bit more self-aware and can’t really do it. Since we’re on an agreement Nina is an author later, I think a lot of her fics are kind of ”first drafts” of her later published books (where she ofc has changed the names of everyone).

Francesca loves reading romance fics a lot, especially the fluffy ones. She also writes primarily romantic fics herself, although she often takes them down because she didn’t like how they turned out. So people often ask ”why did you remove your fic?”, especially because people generally like her stuff. But, if she doesn’t like it, she takes it down. She’s also known for uploading the same fic like 4 times and then removing it again from the website.

Helena was an active fic reader and writer when she was younger, and then sort of fell out of it. But then, sometime in her adulthood, she got back into it again. She often spends time looking for old fics she either remembered reading when she was younger or find some new fics she missed out on while she stopped reading. She also found an old fic she posted in like 2007 and then decided to update it with a new chapter all these years later, and literally started her author’s note with ”hi so I lost my memory for a solid 10 years and built my life back up again here I am! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!”

Maxi often reads his own friends fics because he’s supportive. He also really much likes to read crackfics simply because he thinks they are funny. He himself often writes chatfics because he thinks it’s a good flow in them. Also because he’s more into dialouge than description.

Simón is a person that likes to read fanfictions out loud. He’s the only one in the roller band who’s into fics, and he often finds the most odd ones to read out loud to his friends. He has read them as bedtime stories to Nico and Pedro, and sometimes him and Luna read a fic together out loud, taking turns doing voices for the characters. The only fanfictions he has written himself are self-inserts about himself and his friends.

Benicio never writes fics, and only reads some to mock them, only to drop comments like this

Diego only reads Ludmila’s fics and she does not know that he knows she has a fanfiction account. But he figured out it was her right away. He does not write fics himself.

Naty does not read a lot of fics, only occasionally her friends’ ones. She and Camila conspire that Ludmila has put OCs in her fics that are supposed to be parodies of them, but they can’t be sure yet. Naty has written probably the best fanfiction ever, but she does not post it because she’s not confident enough about it. So, it just sits on a document on her computer, unaware of the power it would have if it was posted.

Celeste read a lot of gay fics when she was younger and was like ”haha I don’t know why I’m doing this… why do I feel like this…” And then she kinda started to work on a gay fic herself, about a character Celeste personally felt connected to, figuring out her sexuality. And as Celeste wrote, she kinda projected her own feelings on it and realised her own sexuality while writing it.

[hyunnieshannie]

CLOSE | HJ ~ SMAU

Chapter 9: "A rabid Kitten whore, a monster and a feral fox" Series Master list | General Master list

FAIR WARNING: THIS CHAPTER WAS PROOFREAD BY A TEAM OF : 2 HAN QUOKKAS, 5 JINIRETS, AND 6 LEEBITS AND YOU CAN TELL IT WAS.

Word Count: 6.2k General Warnings: Strong Language, Mentions of alcohol, bar fight, mentions of blood, mentions of anxiety/panic attack, a lot of bullying. Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction, this does not represent the idols mentioned in any way.

Hyunjin, Bin, and Jisung were walking out of Bin’s apartment when they ran into Liza outside.

“Oh, where are you going? I thought we were pregaming?” Liza whines, slightly pouting her lips.

“Yeah we had a few shots, but we’re meeting everyone else at their dorms.” Jisung said as he tugged his coat tighter around himself.

“Why didn’t you wait for me to do shots?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. Jisung saw Hyunjin roll his eyes.

“We told you to be here by 6:45, we were gonna be late if we waited any longer.” Bin said as he started walking past Liza.

“Well, can’t they wait? You’re the one who's paying to get them in, no?” Liza said, causing Bin to stop dead in his tracks. Jisung quickly interjected.

“Liza, let's just go, we’re gonna be late.” Jisung started nudging her forward.

The walk to the ‘Chaos-Dorm’ was all but pleasant. The air between everyone was tense, and awkward. Liza huffed a few times, clearly frustrated that she once again did not get her way. Hyunjin spent most of the time looking at his phone, amusing himself with whomever he was messaging. Changbin walked fast and ahead of the group as much as he could. Wanting to have enough distance between him and Liza. He had already been stressed out due to her joining, and for the first time ever meeting Felix. He wasn’t nervous for Felix to meet her, he was genuine and friendly. Everyone loves Felix, but Liza was stuck in her own world; unwilling to part from it. Surely she’d find reason to dislike him. Not only was Changbin upset about that, but upset at how she’d constantly pushed off the fact that Felix was indeed not female. He’d mentioned a few times of seeing a partner, never once mentioning a gender; though confusion might be understandable he thought it was obvious enough to the world he wasn't exactly straight. Gay? No. Bisexual? Yes, and he’d thought his friends would have the decency to have noticed. Only now, recently he started realising how ‘good’ of a friend Liza really was.

Jisung felt really uncomfortable the entire time. He was incredibly happy when they finally got to the chaos dorm, hopefully Chan would be able to diffuse the situation. He kind of doubted it though, considering how ridiculous Liza was being lately. He wasn't happy with her tagging along either. He was hoping the night would be more fun and stress free, yet here he is, full of stress and not having a great time, and it was only 7pm.

Screaming sounded from inside the ‘chaos-dorm’, as expected from a dorm room who named themselves that. Jisung smiled lightly, when he heard your scream coming from inside, followed by a fit of loud laughter. 

“What the hell is going on in there?” Liza grimaced. Changbin opened the door to the dorm quickly and shuffled inside, “They don’t lock their door?” Hyunjin rolled his eyes again and made his way inside.

“They expected us,” Jisung sighed, as he pushed past Liza. Before he could fully get through the door she quickly latched on to him, acting as if she were scared and shy from the new people. Which Jisung knew was all for show, to gain some sort of favour from them. 

“BINNIE!” Felix yelled, attacking his boyfriend with a hug, smothering his face in kisses. 

“YO, WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY YOU NEVER SHOWED UP TO WALK WITH US!?” You yell out, lightly smacking Changbin’s arm. Changbin let out a loud laugh, smiling down at you. 

“I had some things to finish up, I texted Lix didn’t he tell you?” 

“I forgor….” Felix pouted,

“Please stop speaking in memes, you're so cringe.” Minho laughs, 

Liza stopped dead in her tracks and took in the scene in front of her. Felix clinging to Changbin, as Changbin gave the widest smile; one she’d never seen from him, never been given to her by him, nor even knew he was capable of doing. Seungmin on the couch whispering into Mini’s ear as she giggled at whatever he was telling her. Her blood truly began to boil when she looked for Chan, who sat next to Kitty, holding her side as he offered her another shot of soju, a slight blush and a shy smile plastered on his face. Liza’s grip on Jisung’s arm tightened the more she looked around. 

“MY HUSBAND HAS ARRIVED!” Minho yells out, and the attention in the room finally falls to him, and Liza who stood nearly glued to him, 

“I’m your husband now? Did I miss our wedding?” Jisung laughs as he attempts to pull his arm from Liza’s grip.

“Friday remember, you called me your housewife, how could you forget already! Delete my number.” Minho stomps and crosses his arms over his chest, giving his best pout.

“I’m sorry my love, I was quite drunk. Could you forgive me?” Jisung laughs, softening his eyes, smiling from ear to ear. 

“How can anyone be mad at such a cute face,” Minho sighs, “bring it here.” Minho opens his arms beckoning for Jisung to come into them. Jisung tried his best to walk over to Minho, but was pulled back instantly by Liza. 

“Don’t leave me please,” she whispered shyly, a loud enough whisper for the people around them to hear, but soft enough to make it seem it wasn’t intentional. 

“I’m sorry love, we haven’t met!” Felix smiles, “Gather round heathens, we have a new one today!” Seungmin finally brings his head back up, looking towards Felix and back to Jisung and Liza. He hides himself behind Mini, letting out a groan before getting up.

You have been watching Jisung since he came in. The girl that attached herself to his arm was the very same girl that was judging you so harshly the other day in class when you were late. She looked absolutely shell-shocked and you really didn’t know why, but you could see her knuckles turning white as she gripped Jisungs arm tighter. Jisung didn’t look very happy to you, he looked… annoyed? Irritated? You noticed he was fighting to remove her hand from his arm. Honestly, Jisung seemed like having his girlfriend around was a burden. You felt slightly bad for her. 

“I’m Felix!” Felix squeals, as Changbin hugs him from behind. “I’m Binnie's boyfriend, as you may know!” 

“No, I actually didn't.” Liza sighs, “My name is Elizabeth. My friends call me Liza.” 

“Pleasure to meet you!” Felix smiles, how could anyone ever dislike someone with such a warm smile? Such an inviting personality? It just shouldn’t be possible. 

“Minho.” Minho shrugs, Jisung could sense Minho had already made a decision on how he felt about Liza. Maybe he could tell the shyness she wore was fake. 

“Ignore him, he’s always cold to new people,” Mini laughed, punching Minho in his arm. “My name’s Mini!” 

“Minnie? Like the mouse?” Liza smiled, 

“Mini like tiny.” Mini laughed, “A nickname, but I prefer it.” 

“You’re not very tiny…” Liza said quietly, 

“Precisely why they gave it to her, tall and scawy,” Kitty grinned, “Imagine you’re in some gang fight and they go ‘Get Mini. She’ll get rid of them.’ and out walks that fucking giant?” 

“I’m five foot nine. I am not a giant.” 

“Wow! You’re so tall,” Liza smiled, “I feel so small, I’m only like five, five. Ahh I’m so tiny!!” She quickly hid her face in Jisung’s arm. You noticed his look of discomfort.

“Kitty’s shorter, she’s five two…” Jisung mumbled

“I fuckin heard that, I may be small but I can beat your ass Han,” Kitty said as she pulled her fists up. Chan grabs her arms and pulls them back down, giggling at her.

“May be small, but she is mighty. Now where have I heard that quote before?” Jisung laughs, 

“Sorry, I’m Kitty,” she says as Chan makes her wave her hand towards Liza like a puppet. “Channie, seriously why are you like this?”

“Kitty? Your parents named you Kitty?” Liza asks

“It’s not my actual name, but it's a nickname I'm very fond of,” Kitty nods as she smacks at Chan's hands, grabbing one and placing a feather light kiss on it.

“I see.” 

Just then Jeongin burst through the door, panting as he ran to his room. A minute later, he came back out standing with the rest of the group. Liza’s eyes immediately fixated on him. Now this one isn't like the others. She thought to herself, no. This one is like us. Why is he here? Jeongin waited for a moment before walking up to Kitty, giving her a small kiss on the cheek, proceeding to do the same with Mini, and lastly you.

“Sorry I’m late my loves,” Jeongin smiled sweetly, taking a shot, “But I’m ready to go whenever,” he turned to face Liza, “Ah, hello.” 

“Hi,” Liza smiled, sweetly at him. Genuinely. 

“My name’s Jeongin!” 

“Liza, nice to meet you,” she smiled wider now, as Jeongin beamed at her before turning back around to make his way back to his spot between Kitty, and Mini. 

Kitty motioned to you, “you didn’t-”

“No need. I know who she is,” Liza said blankly, “Put on quite a show in class.” Liza scoffed, 

Liza looked at you with a slight look of disgust, Jeongin stopped dead in his tracks, his face quickly went from happy to annoyed, giving Mini and Kitty a look. A look that asked ‘what the fuck’. Mini shook her head slightly, letting him know to let it go for now. He took a deep breath in before settling in his spot, his face once more returning to the cheerful boy he was. 

“Now that we’re all introduced, shots, and then lets go!” Mini smiled. 

~ ~ ~ 

The club's music radiated through Jisungs body, the bass sending waves through him. The energy from the club, making him wish he could join his friends on the dance floor and join in on the fun, however, he was stuck at your table in the VIP section, babysitting Liza. He watched from the table, how his friends all seemed to be laughing and having fun.

The way Chan hovered over Kitty, slowly swaying to the beat of the music, clearly in their own world, and constantly brought her face in close to his every chance he could.

How Jeongin had managed to charm a girl at the bar, and they were dancing in the centre of the room. He watched as Felix and Changbin were physically glued to each other, lips always connected in a searing kiss that made Jisung blush when he caught a glimpse of it.

He watched how Seungmin wrapped his arms over Mini’s hips and pulled her close to his body, her back flushed against his chest, his head in the crook of her neck, as she reached her hands over her head, to play with his hair. All of them having a good time, he was too. Even if he was stuck with Liza, until he looked a little over to the left. Where he caught a glimpse of Hyunjin, pulling you into him. He kept a respectful distance, but the way you moved, the way he was the one dancing with you. Something about it bothered him.

Liza excused herself to the washroom for a moment, finally. A moment where he didn’t need to walk on eggshells. Jisung pulls out his phone and begins to type furiously on his phone, the image of you and Hyunjin burning in his mind. He looks around the room, four black walls; neon lights and fog machines everywhere.

The walls that were coloured are all black,

He wrote. Still. I can’t figure out what happens in the tunnel. Should I just erase it? He thought to himself, as he lost himself in his song once more. He looked up to see you smiling brightly at Hyunjin as he made a stupid face at you.

They were coloured by you,

“GOD,” Minho sighs as he plops back down on the couch, “You are the most boring mother fucker here you know that?” He laughs, 

“How do you figure?” Jisung smiles, as he raises his glass to take another sip of his beer. 

“You’re sitting here looking like the most miserable fucker on the planet, that’s how I figure,” Minho says as he steals Jisung’s glass from his hand and finishes off the beer.

“Shut up Minho,” Jisung laughs, “I’m good here,” he lied. Minho scowled at him for a moment, 

“You’re a terrible liar, get up and take your girlfriend to dance! Have some fucking fun, you weren’t such a square on Friday what happened to you? This is not the soulmate I married.” Minho said, as he motioned for a hostess to bring him another drink. 

“She’s- Liza?!” Jisung coughed, 

“Yes, who else?” Minho questioned, as he raised an eyebrow in confusion, 

“Oh god, you thought we were dating?” 

“I mean, anyone would with the way she clings to you.” Minho leaned back, resting his arms on the bench, 

“She’s not my girlfriend! We’re just friends!” Jisung half screams.

“Have you told her that?” Minho nods in Liza’s direction as she made her way back from the bathroom.

“She’s like that with all of us,” Jisung sighed, 

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Minho shrugged, 

“She’s acting like this because everyone else is paired off tonight, and Jinnie is mad at her.” 

“Why’d you bring her then?” 

“Long story.” 

“Mmm, well instead of being absolutely miserable here, go dance. I’ll bitch-sit for you.”

“I couldn’t do that to you,” 

“It’s chill, I need a break anyways,” Minho smiled, “Plus you don’t look like you’re enjoying the view very much.” Minho smirked, as he looked towards you laughing with Hyunjin. Jisung got up, making his way out of the booth, “Oh by the way!” Minho called out, “Hyunjin’s, nice and all, but not her type.” Minho smirked. 

Jisung was unsure as to why Minho mentioned it, but his heart seemed to have calmed down.

Something had to be wrong with him. 

~ ~ ~

You were lost in your own world. Hyunjin had you twirling around, dipping you, and showing you the proper twerking technique. You were genuinely having such a great time, and it seemed that all of your friends were too. Everyone was paired off with someone. You had noted that Jisung was sitting at the table with Liza, but when you turned around he was gone and Minho was in his spot. You didn’t pay it any mind and continued to dance with Hyunjin, twirling him like he did you.

“Hey,” Hyunjin leaned in, in order for you to hear him, “I’m gonna get a drink and sit down for a bit okay?” You nodded at him, 

“Sure thing chief!” you smile and salute at him, he lets out a laugh before shaking his head and walking off to the bar. You continued to dance on your own when you felt hands on your mid-back. Jisung leaned down to speak to you; 

“Where do you think those two are going?” he smirked, bringing your attention to Chan and Kitty walking off the dancefloor hand in hand towards a more private and darker corner of the club.

“I don’t want to know,” you laughed, Jisung still hadn’t moved. He had his head pretty close to yours still. Unknown to you Jisung was going through it. God, she smells just like the rain. “Jisung- are you okay?” 

“Huh? Oh. Sorry I got distracted.” 

“By?” 

“Oh god, this is gonna sound so weird, but what perfume is that?” 

“Oh Felix got me a new one, I was complaining that I wanted to bottle the scent of rain so he got it for me,” you smiled, “and no not weird. Just…okay maybe a bit weird.” you laughed,

Jisung blushed a little bit. Why the hell am I blushing over that? What’s wrong with me? He realised that the two of you were standing completely still in the middle of the dance floor. “Oh, uh, do you… wanna dance… together?”

You nodded and Jisung situated himself behind you. His hands sat respectfully on your waist. You two swayed and danced to the loud music. He occasionally twirled you like Hyunjin did, less coordinated but still executing it well.

The two of you were giggling and laughing with each other as you danced. You had turned around a few times to face him and poke at his cheeks and chest, and he would return your poking with light pinches to your sides and a boop to your nose. Jisung was situated behind you again when a more sensual song came on. You looked over at your table to see Liza staring daggers at you and Jisung. You suddenly felt incredibly self aware of how close you and Jisung were to each other.

“Isn’t your girlfriend gonna get mad with you this close to me…” 

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” 

“But-” 

“Liza is just a friend.” He smiles, 

“It doesn’t look like it from here,” you sighed, 

“Ignore her.” Jisung whispered, “She’s not my girlfriend, so let's stop talking about her and just enjoy being right here, right now. Together.” 

You were a little startled at his words but found yourself relaxing into him. He was still being so gentle and respectful of you. You felt safe around him, even though you haven't known him for long. You were so lost in your own world, you didn’t realise how much time passed. All you focused on was his body against yours, his breath fanning over your shoulder. His hands slowly moved further down your hip, his grip tightening slightly as he guided your hips against his.

“What’s wrong with me?” He hummed into your neck, but before you could answer, and tell him he was just drunk; he was being torn away from you. 

“My turn.” Liza said coldly, as she wrapped Jisung’s hands around her hips and she wrapped herself around his neck, tugging him close to her, smirking at you as she did so.

You looked at her in confusion, what the actual fuck? Before you could interject, Minho had swooped in front of you and grabbed your hands and danced with you. Jisung, despite being drunk, looked incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t want to dance with Liza, he wished she would just go home. She hadn’t drank at all, she’d sat on the couch all night on her phone; and NOW she wanted to dance once he was finally having some fun? Worst of all, Jisung knew he wouldn’t be able to pull away from her. 

“What are you doing,” he finally asked Liza as she continued to glare in your direction.

“Hm? Oh, I’m just dancing with my Hannie,” Liza whined, giving him a smile

“You couldn’t have waited? Or like, danced with someone else?” Jisung groaned, “You obviously saw I was busy.” 

“I wanted to dance but I don’t know anyone else. Your friend that you left me with was so weird,” she grimaced.

“So why didn’t you ask to dance earlier? You chose to do it now when I was already dancing with someone?” 

“Who cares Hannie, it’s not like you two are anything. She’s just a person helping with Hyunnie’s project. And it’s not like it was gonna go anywhere. She’s not like us. Plus you could do better.”

“Stop.” Jisung said, pulling his arms off her body and harshly pulling her arms out from around his neck.

“I’m just saying Hannie, I’m right here, you don’t need to use the poor girl.” Liza said as she tried to reach up to touch Jisung’s cheek.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Liza.” Jisung sighed, 

“Hannie, don’t act like this” she said as she tried snaking her way into his arms once more; 

“No, Liza. I said stop. I don’t want you to fucking touch me or breath in my direction right now. Just fuck off.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Liza yells out, causing Changbin and Felix to stop their dancing and look in their direction. 

“You’re insulting my friend. You’ve actually been insulting all of my friends all night!”

“Because, they’re not fucking like us what don’t you fucking people understand!” Liza screams out, “Why are you lowering yourselves to their fucking level Jisung?!”

Chan and Kitty had made their way back to the table, but when they heard yelling from Jisung they quickly made their way over.

“LOWERING TO THEIR LEVEL?! DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?!”

“Oh I get it,�� Liza laughed, “OHHH I’m so sorry, I ruined your chance at an easy fuck didn’t I?” Liza smirked at she watched you, 

“Who are you calling an easy fuck?” Kitty ran over, getting in Liza’s face.

“I hope you have a fucking way to back that claim,” Mini said, standing behind Liza. “Don’t start something you can’t fucking finish girly.” Mini smiled, as always when she was pissed she was unusually calm. But all it would take is one off comment from Liza to snap her. 

“Channie, this is what I mean, look at them. Look at how this one acts like a rabid dog getting in my face while the fucking monster behind me tries to corner me in, do you see now that they aren’t like us? Help me!” Liza said in her sickly sweet voice.

“If you wanna see rabid dog, I’d be so fucking happy to show you and put you in your fucking place,” Kitty seethed as she got closer to Liza.

“Please, what are you gonna do about it?” Liza scoffed, “You’re in your last year. You can’t do shit to me unless you don't want to graduate.” 

“The question isn’t what am I going to do about it, it’s what EXACTLY will I do about it because I have MANY fucking options.” Kitty hissed, taking her long pointed nails and running them along Liza’s jaw, causing her to tremble slightly. Quickly Liza lifted her hand giving Kitty a swift smack.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” 

“Baby, let it go,” Chan whispered as he reached for Kitty’s wrist, pulling her back into his arms.

“Are you fucking joking? Baby? Who’s fucking side are you on? Your best friend of YEARS or some fucking whore from your class?”

“Who. The fuck. Are you calling a whore.” Jeongin glared as he made his way over. He had missed the first part, only to see Liza smacking Kitty, excusing himself quietly to the girl he was with before pushing everyone out of his way to get to her. “Touch her again, and I’ll fucking end you.” 

“So you are just as fucking crazy as the rest of them. A rabid kitten whore, a monster, and a feral fox. What a combination.” Liza rolled her eyes at Jeongin, brushing him off.

“Monster?” Jeongin laughed, “You don’t want to see a monster Liza.” Jeongin laughed, “Because you’ll be quite unhappy when you realise you labelled the wrong person the monster.” 

“Binnie, look at them, this is who your friend is friends with?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Your little friend, these are his people. So do something.” 

“He’s not my fucking friend Liza. He’s my boyfriend. For the love of fuck, stop misgendering and mislabelling him!”

“Look at him, not hard to think he’s a she.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill her,” Kitty said from Chans hold.

“Guys, just let it go, she’s not worth it,” you said as you pulled Jeongin back a few steps.

“Yeah see, Y/N is a nice one, Kitty needs to graduate and Jeongin won’t hit a woman, but you see; I have nothing to lose.” Seungmin looked to Mini both confused and slightly amused, as if he’d already known for a while what would happen. “You can insult me, you can say whatever the fuck you want about pretty much any of us. But Y/N and Lix? Off fucking limits.” Seungmin took a preemptive step back, knowing just exactly what would happen. 

“Mini,” you shouted sternly, but it wasn’t enough. You knew how’d she get, and this was no exception.

‘Some people need to be taught a lesson, whether they choose to learn it themselves, or I have to force the lesson into them.’ was something she once said, after a fight with a few seniors who had decided to pick on a freshman earlier in the year.

Liza had moved away from Mini in an attempt to get some distance between them. She tried to escape from their circle and move back to their table, but Minho slid in front of her, blocking the way with his arms crossed and a stone cold look plastered across his face. 

“Sorry, bitch. Not getting out of this one,” he chuckled at the fear on her face.

Liza had turned around and saw Mini standing in the same spot. Mini cracked her knuckles and her neck, obviously trying to scare the shit out of her some more.

“Minho don’t encourage her! Please!” You yelled out, as you moved to try and stop the inevitable, 

“Don’t get in between a fight, love,” Jisung said as he grabbed you, bringing you close to his chest, “What did I tell you huh?” when you didn’t answer he sighed, “You need to take care of yourself, getting in between people during a fight like this will only get you hurt,” 

“She shouldn’t be fighting her anyway, Jisung!” 

“I can’t say it’s not called for, but let Chan and Bin stop them. I don’t want you to get hurt.” he whispered, his arms tightening around you protectively. You didn’t answer him again and simply watched the fight unfold in front of you.

“Last chance to fucking either back what you said or apologize.” Mini had cornered Liza into the corner of your friend group. By now the rest of the club had stopped what they were doing, 

“Bouncers incoming,” Minho whispered, 

“You’re fucking psychotic!” Liza yelled attempting to throw a punch at Mini and missing horribly. She had grabbed a glass from a patron standing beside her and swung it towards Mini’s face. Mini was fast enough to put her hand up to stop the glass from shattering on her face, but when the glass made contact with her hand, it instantly shred the skin on it. She wretched her hand away from her face and hissed as the glass penetrated her skin. Liza smirked up at Mini, but Mini just smiled. Liza's smile fell immediately.

“Yeah… I am.” Mini’s devilish smile grew wider, she pulled at Liza’s hair, tugging it harshly to get her to stand still, she pulled her good hand back and swung, hitting Liza directly in her nose. Liza screamed at the top of her lungs and fell to the floor, clutching her face. She moved her hand from her face and saw blood all over her hands. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Liza cried as she sat on the floor, fumbling her phone as she attempted to call the cops.

“Go ahead call the cops, you threw the first punch moron,” Minho chirped,

“YOU’RE ALL FUCKING INSANE! CHANNIE, HELP ME, PLEASE!”

“Liz. This time, I can’t defend you.” Chan said as he squeezed Kitty tighter in his hold, she was clawing at his arm, itching to get to Liza.

“You’re taking their side? Are you joking? HER? Over me? She’s NOTHING, a NOBODY!” Liza screamed at him, causing Chan’s gaze to darken angrily. Liza had never seen him look at anyone like that, he’d never looked at her like that. Chan had lifted Kitty into his arms bridal-style and walked towards the exit of the club.

“Honestly, Liza.” Hyunjin said as he walked up to her, “I don’t see why I ever cared to be friends with you.” 

“Jinnie..” 

“Don’t fucking call me that,” he scoffed, as he turned to walk out. 

“Binnie?” Changbin looked to her, shaking his head and taking Felix’s hand in his, guiding him out of the club following Hyunjin. Mini walked past Liza, who still sat on the floor. Grabbing for her purse, as Minho helped her with everyone else's things.

“Made me get blood on a perfectly good outfit.” Mini sighed, Seungmin making his way up to Mini to grab her side, pulling her close to him as he examined her hands. 

“Tch,” Seungmin let out, “When we get home we’re gonna have to clean this fist up and wash the blood out.” 

Jeongin walked towards Liza and crouched down to her level, “Don’t fucking talk to my family ever again. Or Mini won’t be the worst of your problems.” He whispered in her ear, quickly standing up and stepping over her to walk to the exit.

“H-hannie…” Liza whispered, tears starting to well in her eyes.

“Was it worth it?” Han sighed, “Was it worth all of this? Was whatever you had going on in your head worth the fight? Worth all of your friends walking out on you? You couldn’t just be fucking happy for Bin? You couldn’t have just acknowledged Felix properly? You couldn’t just stop fucking talking? Or respected Chan, or my wishes? Just fucking ONCE in your fucking life!?” 

You could feel Jisung shaking as he held onto you tightly. You felt something wet drip onto your shoulder, looking towards it, noticing him crying. You wrapped your hand around his to try to calm him down, tilting your head up to try and look at him. He had his head buried in your shoulder, his hair covering his face.

“Jisung, you’re ok. We can leave… if you want,” 

“I got punched, and you’re-” Liza lets out a soft laugh, “And you’re the one having an anxiety attack? You’re a fucking joke, Han Jisung.” She sighed, getting up off the floor; dusting herself off, wiping the excess blood from her face. 

“He’s the joke? I don’t think so. We tried our best to be nice to you, to make you feel welcome. You judged us before you got to know us. No one else is a joke but you.”

“Shut the fuck up, and do what you want; you can have him for all I fucking care, he’s useless to me.” Liza spat, 

“Have him? He’s not a fucking prize to be won Liza! He’s a fucking person, not some possession you put on a shiny pedestal and use when he’s convenient for you.”

“And what's your excuse? Flaunting him like this?” Liza laughed, 

“Flaunting? I’m his friend, this is how friends should protect and respect each other.”

“Setting rabid animals on someone? You couldn’t fight for yourself so instead you let your loyal hounds to handle your problem!” 

“Please stop..”Jisung whimpered, 

“Loyal what?!” 

“Please..” Jisung hiccuped, “Stop please,” 

“CHAN!” Changbin yelled, from the entrance, “SOMEONE GET CHAN!” 

Chan ran in, rushing to Jisung, cupping his cheeks to look at him. Jisungs eyes were full of tears, glazed over, his breathing hitched and rapid. 

“Breathe,” He said, “Breathe, you’re fine, you’re okay.” 

“I can’t-” Jisung struggled to speak, his breathing erratic, heart racing. The fight itself would have been fine, he would have been able to handle that. It was the blood. The cut on Mini’s hand, the blood that came from it. “Is Min-” he hiccuped again, “Is Mini okay? She’s bleeding-”

You grabbed his hand and laced your fingers together, squeezing his hand tightly in yours. 

“Ji… we’re all ok. Can you look at me please?” you say softly to him, not wanting to scare him away.

He looks down at your hands, making sure you’re physically okay from the commotion and slowly looks up to you. You can finally see his face and all you wanted to do was wipe his tears away and hold him till he felt better again.

“We’re ok, you’re ok,” you said softly, moving a few pieces of his hair away from his face.

“There’s a car outside. Lix, Bin, Minho, Hyunjin and Jeongin, took one home already, Seungmin, Mini, and Kitty are waiting outside.” Chan sighed, 

“I really am nothing to you all.” Liza said, 

“Just go.” Chan said blankly, 

“Channie, I’m sorry…” 

“Not now Elizabeth, just fucking go. I’ll talk to you when I’m no longer fucking pissed.” She nodded, walking away. 

“Let’s go.” Chan said, as he guided Jisung out of the club, apologising to the managers at the door for the fight. You hopped into the back seats of the car, Jisung beside you as he attempted to calm himself down a bit more. Ultimately, he fell asleep on your shoulder, to the scent of the rain. 

~ ~ ~

“Is he gonna be okay?” You said, after saying your goodbye’s to Jisung, Seungmin had already headed up to your dorm to tend to Mini’s hand.  

“Mm, yeah. He’ll be okay, might take an extra therapy session but nothing too bad.” 

“Is he-”

“Mhm, just a bit of trauma- he’s not good with blood.” Chan sighs, “But he’ll be okay. He just needs a shower, and his computer for now.” 

“Computer?” 

“He thinks his best songs come from his emotions, especially when he’s hurting. It's also just a good distraction for him. Whether it be writing or just listening to music.” 

“What happened-” 

“It’s better for him to explain when he’s ready, anyways Y/N i’m sorry about tonight.” 

“Definitely not how I saw my Tuesday night going.” You smiled lightly at Chan, who was staring off into the car watching Jisung, who sat with his head hung low “Do you guys just want to stay here? I feel like none of us are going to class tomorrow anyways, Plus I’m sure Innie, Mini and Kitty wouldn’t mind. There's a spare bed for Jisung-” 

“Honestly, sure. I don’t want him to be alone tonight, gives me an excuse to have someone in the room with him. Also maybe him seeing Mini’s fine will make him feel a bit better.” you nodded. Chan told Jisung the plan, and he slowly hopped out of the car. 

~ ~ ~ 

“I’m fine, Jisung.” Mini smiled, raising her bandaged hand in the air, “Honestly, I’ve done worse.” 

“Let’s all just get some sleep yeah?” Minho sighed, “I’m sharing with Y/N and Innie tonight,” 

“Felix and Bin are already passed out on the couch so,” Chan sighed, 

“My room.” Kitty smiled weakly, “Thank you, by the way. For holding me back.” she blushed, and turned swiftly to walk to her room, Chan following closely behind her.  "Hyunjin, and Jisung; if you need anything, extra blankets, or just- anything let me know." Mini smiled, as she guided the boys into the spare room. Closing the door behind her when she left.

~ ~ ~

“What’s wrong with me” Jisung sighed as he lay in the guest room, 

“Nothing’s wrong with you Ji,” Hyunjin sighed from beside him, 

“I should have got her to quiet down Hyune.” 

“Nah, there was no stopping her. She has been going off the deep end lately, there really wasn’t anything we could’ve done once she started.”

“Do you know where my phone is?” Jisung sighed, 

“MM, lyrics?” Hyunjin asked, 

“Yeah.” 

“I really like that you write instead of isolating.” Hyunjin smiles, “Makes me feel a bit better.”

“Don’t you isolate?” Jisung tilts his head towards Hyunjin, who hands him his phone from the nightstand beside him. 

“Exactly why it makes me feel better. At least one of us has a healthy coping mechanism.” Hyunjin smiles softly, “I’ll go to sleep first. I hope the lyrics come out how you want them, night Hanji.” 

Jisung opens his phone to his notes, where he had the last lyrics he wrote while sitting in the club.

In the quiet tunnel…

The walls that were colored are all black

They were colored by you

Jisung sat in silence recounting his emotions from the night. Watching you dance with Hyunjin, and the odd jealously that came with that. 

I’m surprised by the feelings felt for the first time

Minho’s acknowledgment that he could very clearly see Jisung’s interest in you. He wanted to be in Hyunjin’s place, he wanted to know you more than Minho did.

Name, age, where do you live

Too many questions, I know I’m being rude

Boldly walking up to you and asking you to dance with him. Wanting to be close to you, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally. He wanted all of you.

I’ll cross the line just a little, as I finally

Avoided this road, I was walking on unsteadily

The two of you entirely in your own world, dancing together, blissfully unaware of the world around you. He remembered the first day you met, how fond he felt watching you standing in the middle of the street, letting the rain cascade down your figure.

I’ll look at you and rest for bit, I know I’m putting you out by doing this when it’s our first meeting

He remembers how inspired he was by your actions and your words that first night. He got so wrapped up in his song idea that you had gently fallen asleep on his shoulder, your features totally relaxed. He thought you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. This song was for you. He was writing it because of you, for you.

I’m rambling noisily, as it’s my first time having these emotions too, so I’m still

He was suddenly pulled from his remembrance as a sports car revved and zoomed down the street, the tires and echo of the exhaust loud enough to penetrate the walls and windows.

“AH!” Jisung yelled, quickly turning, realising Hyunjin was asleep. 

In the quiet tunnel, you with the sports car, the noisy engine blares

“Fuck that tunnel”

TAGS @https-skzology @chanlixiiee @channiesbub @silentcry01 @iadorethemskz @heavensheadbitch @maeleelee ♡ Thank you for letting us tag you

[jeork]

TC Tag Game

As always I’m excessively late to the party, but thanks @renaultphile for the tag!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

I don’t have a copy of the book at hand right now, but while Laurie is visiting home for the wedding he goes on a walk and recites this weird incest-y song to himself, then contemplates how it always felt relatable to him. I’m not saying he would not fucking say that, because obviously he does and I hear him quite clearly. But I am saying maybe he should not have fucking said that. 

Also Ralph calling Bunny “Boo”. I don’t care how drunk he was, you don’t randomly slip out with a word you wouldn’t otherwise use. It’s part of his vocabulary. This one had me in contemplation for months, like, would he ever call Laurie that? Does this count towards the bad habits and lifestyle choices he wants to abandon while being with Laurie? Whole scene’s just embarrassing af 

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they probably did, but that it was very chaste. I’m convinced the kiss between Laurie and Andrew is supposed to mirror it almost exactly. The way I see it, Laurie didn’t fully process it and therefore just stood there. From the flashback he got later on while holding onto Ralph’s sleeve while they’re in Ralph's room I think Laurie might’ve grabbed onto Ralph’s arm a little. But other than that I don’t think he did much, which made Ralph decide he wasn’t ready yet.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I wasn’t aware this is something people discuss lmao, I’ve only thought about it once myself. Gonna be a party pooper and say he has none, as it's "improper"

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I feel like me and @renaultphile are the only ‘59 truthers. I think I once even wrote an entire post just on why I like that Mary cut the knee-touch?

Again, don’t have any book copies at hand right now, but I remember one small detail in the ‘53 I really loved. During Alec’s birthday party while he’s blowing out the candles everyone is looking at him, and for a moment there’s this shared feeling of hopefulness. In the ‘53 Laurie feels someone’s eyes on him, but by the time he turns around Ralph has already stopped looking. Something about Ralph glancing at Laurie in this moment, who’s presence represents so much to Ralph, makes me ache. 

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

I guess the obvious answers would be something like Hazell, Sandy or Bunny, but I feel like Andrew would run the most terrifically angsty aesthetic account. Also young Laurie, he'd probably write bad poetry or something

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

The two guys holding hands in dead silence, not because I can relate, but because they really set the scene. Or the petty shit-stirrer who snitches on Ralph having a boyfriend. Or the other petty shit-stirrer who cries "Here comes Bim"

7. Post a TC meme.

I used to run a TC meme account over on Twitter. I’ve planned on reposting all of that stuff on here sometime, in the meantime here’s one: 

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave. The Mature Wholesome Elder act he’s putting on at the end is pissing me off. Self-serving cu- 

Also, following the heavy implications that Alec had been snuggling it up with Bunny for quite a while, I think he got off pretty scot free 

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I really wanted him to stay friends with Reg. I always felt like Madge’s Aunt Vera joke was pretty funny and well intended, albeit improper and terribly timed. It didn’t come off to me as her making fun of him for being gay. More like her trying to awkwardly bond over it, similar to Reg during The Bathroom Talk™. If Laurie hadn’t been so emotionally rattled at that time I feel like he would’ve played it off. It was such bad timing for him. So I wanna scream at him “Chill out, they’re clearly not out to get you!” 

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

I think there still might be a couple minor details, but I can’t remember them right now. The only bigger piece of dialogue that’s still a little intransparent to me is Ralph’s whole speech at the beginning of their post-wedding trip argument. I have my theories about it, but would also enjoy to hear more. 

Considering I’m over a month late and have no clue who did this tag already I’ll open it up to whoever might still wanna do it. 

[greypetrel]

HI ARJA I’m so curious about your moby dick AU lol you always have the best AUs

HI ROWAN I'm glad you asked! :D It's gonna be a big ass rant, so it's under the cut. I'm very excited about this AU, it tackles some things I love and have first-hand experience of, so yeah, I'll be chatty about it ahahahah.

I've posted a chapter at random on AO3 and you can find some snippets in the whale au tag!

So, it's "Zoologist Aisling who thinks whales are the best thing after sliced bread saves Cullen, who happens to have survived a shipwreck caused by a whale". Shenanigans happen.

It was an idea of @shivunin (thank you again) and I'm currently trying to give it a little outline not to go totally at random. I am thinking about characters background, it's a non-magical AU and so stuff needs to be adapted. The title of the WIP is old, I realised after that... You know, it's a Moby Dick INSPIRED thing. The first idea was having Aisling as Melville and Cullen as Ishmael teaming up to write Moby Dick. Cullen has the sailing parts, Aisling filling in with conspiracy theories about whalers and spite over naturalists. And both of them inserting a gay relationship because I'm still a big part of the Bi!Cullen agenda, and that book is terribly gay.

I did realise later on that there's a limit to the horrors I'm willing to put characters through and write, and cannibalism is really NOT one. I also moved it to another period and to the 1900s because I already did research for another original project and I'm more familiar with it.

The title of the file will change when I'll have a better one for this AU.

For now I do have a background for Aisling, what she's in Nantucket to do, and I'm so happy to say @melisusthewee jumped on the bandwagon aboard with Quinn and Horatio, but I'm letting her introduce you to them in this. I'll just say that Aisling refers to Quinn as "Mr Arch-Nemesis".

She's in Nantucket for a research over sperm whales behaviour, restore her family's name (dad was a scholar too, but alas, he was caught being a member of the Fenian society and giving money to the Irish revolutionaries... She's the Royal Society's favourite person, yes) and hopefully put a brake on whale hunting (the 1900s saw the peak of killed whales, you can bet miss "I'd adopt a dragon if Bull didn't constantly prevent me to try and befriend one" won't be ok with it). Dorian and Josephine -whom I couldn't fathom being there with her, seriously I can't picture Dorian on a ship if not in first class, unless he was beaten unconscious before boarding and dragged on. Josie finances ships, sure... but being on board of one and working? A whole different thing. So, they're Aisling friends, but they stayed in London to get her fundings.

Cullen needs to find reason to get to the sea again, he was a harpooner and worked on ships all his life... After being the sole survivor, he needs to find his centre back and get on with it. The crazy whale fangirl may or may not help him on this.

And there was only one bed, of course. (have I already said that Moby Dick is VERY gay?) (I had a blast reading it, thank you so much @salsedinepicta for making me curious about it! <3 Also if you want to throw your characters in this GO ON.)

I thiiiink I may change names and design and also do something fully original. I'm particularly enthusiastic about it because it allows me to tackle stuff I experienced in my life (I did some sailing! Very little and purely recreational, but still) and to re-use some research I already did for another original project which I love dearly, but it's definitely more than I can chew on my own. If I don't chicken out because the place is linked to some trauma, I maaaaay add a part in the seaside town I spent a lot of time growing up.

But again, let's see how it goes, researching on Italy isn't the easiest thing ever if you're not aiming at Rome or the Renaissance, and we're talking about a pretty regional side of Italy. I have good hopes because the people are very very very much into their own history and claiming it back, so I may find some good infos without spitting too much blood.

it's a work in progress, but there's gonna be more about this!