#it is for sure intended to be a horror comic and the story’s title pretty much spoils how it ends

[theodore-sallis]

“Several Meaningless Deaths Part 1”, Monsters Unleashed (Vol. 1/1973), #8.

Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler: Pat Broderick; Al Milgrom

[grigori77]

Summer 2021′s Movies - My Top Ten Favourite Films (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10.  WEREWOLVES WITHIN – definitely one of the year’s biggest cinematic surprises so far, this darkly comic supernatural murder mystery from indie horror director Josh Ruben (Scare Me) is based on a video game, but you’d never know it – this bears so little resemblance to the original Ubisoft title that it’s a wonder anyone even bothered to make the connection, but even so, this is now notable for officially being the highest rated video game adaptation in Rotten Tomatoes history, with a Certified Fresh rating of 86%. Certainly it deserves that distinction, but there’s so much more to the film – this is an absolute blood-splattered joy, the title telling you everything you need to know about the story but belying the film’s pure, quirky genius.  Veep’s Sam Richardson is forest ranger Finn Wheeler, a gentle and socially awkward soul who arrives at his new post in the remote small town of Beaverton to discover the few, uniformly weird residents are divided over the oil pipeline proposition of forceful and abrasive businessman Sam Parker (The Hunt’s Wayne Duvall).  As he tries to fit in and find his feet, investigating the disappearance of a local dog while bonding with local mail carrier Cecily Moore (Other Space and This Is Us’ Milana Vayntrub), the discovery of a horribly mutilated human body leads to a standoff between the townsfolk and an enforced lockdown in the town’s ramshackle hotel as they try to work out who amongst them is the “werewolf” they suspect is responsible.  This is frequently hilarious, the offbeat script from appropriately named Mishna Wolff (I’m Down) dropping some absolutely zingers and crafting some enjoyably weird encounters and unexpected twists, while the uniformly excellent cast do much of the heavy-lifting to bring their rich, thoroughly oddball characters to vivid life – Richardson is thoroughly cuddly throughout, while Duvall is pleasingly loathsome, Casual’s Michaela Watkins is pleasingly grating as Trisha, flaky housewife to unrepentant local horn-dog Pete Anderton (Orange is the New Black’s Michael Chernus), and Cheyenne Jackson (American Horror Story) and Harry Guillen (best known, OF COURSE, as Guillermo in the TV version of What We Do In the Shadows) make an enjoyably spiky double-act as liberal gay couple Devon and Joaquim Wolfson; in the end, though, the film is roundly stolen by Vayntrub, who invests Cecily with a bubbly sweetness and snarky sass that makes it absolutely impossible to not fall completely in love with her (gods know I did).  This is a deeply funny film, packed with proper belly-laughs from start to finish, but like all the best horror comedies it takes its horror elements seriously, delivering some enjoyably effective scares and juicy gore, while the werewolf itself, when finally revealed, is realised through some top-notch prosthetics.  Altogether this was a most welcome under-the-radar surprise for the summer, and SO MUCH MORE than just an unusually great video game adaptation …

9.  THE TOMORROW WAR – although cinemas finally reopened in the UK in early summer, the bite of the COVID lockdown backlog was still very much in effect this blockbuster season, with several studios preferring to hedge their bets and wait for later release dates. Others turned to streaming services, including Paramount, who happily lined up a few heavyweight titles to open on major platforms in lieu of the big screen.  One of the biggest was this intended sci-fi action horror tentpole, meant to give Chris Pratt another potential franchise on top of Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World, which instead dropped in early July on Amazon Prime.  So, was it worth staying in on a Saturday night instead of heading out for something on the BIG screen?  Mostly yes, although it’s mainly a trashy, guilty pleasure big budget B-picture charm that makes this such a worthwhile experience – the film’s biggest influences are clearly Independence Day and Starship Troopers, two admirably clunky blockbusters that DEFINED prioritising big spectacle and overblown theatrics over intelligent writing and realistic storytelling.  It doesn’t help that the premise is pure bunk – in 2022, a wormhole opens from thirty years in the future, and a plea for help is sent back with a bunch of very young future soldiers.  Seems Earth will become overrun by an unstoppable swarm of nasty alien critters called Whitespikes in 25 years, and the desperate human counteroffensive have no choice but to bring soldiers from our present into the future to help them fight back and save the humanity from imminent extinction.  Less than a year later, the world’s standing armies have been decimated and a worldwide draft has been implemented, with normal everyday adults being sent through for a seven day tour from which very few return.  Pratt plays biology teacher and former Green Beret Dan Forrester, one of the latest batch of draftees to be sent into the future along with a selection of chefs, soccer moms and other average joes – his own training and experience serves him better than most when the shit hits the fan, but it soon becomes clear that he’s just as out of his depth as everyone else as the sheer enormity of the threat is revealed.  But when he becomes entangled with a desperate research outfit led by Muri (Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski) who seem to be on the verge of a potential world-changing scientific breakthrough, Dan realises there just might be a slender hope for humanity after all … this is every bit as over-the-top gung-ho bonkers as it sounds, and just as much fun.  Director Chris McKay may still be pretty fresh (with only The Lego Batman Movie under his belt to date), but he shows a lot of talent and potential for big budget blockbuster filmmaking here, delivering with guts and bravado on some major action sequences (a fraught ticking-clock SAR operation through a war-torn Miami is the film’s undeniable highlight, but a desperate battle to escape a blazing oil rig also really impresses), as well as handling some impressively complex visual effects work and wrangling some quality performances from his cast (altogether it bodes well for his future, which includes Nightwing and Johnny Quest as future projects).  Chris Pratt can do this kind of stuff in his sleep – Dan is his classic fallible and self-deprecating but ultimately solid and kind-hearted action hero fare, effortlessly likeable and easy to root for – and his supporting cast are equally solid, Strahovsky going toe-to-toe with him in the action sequences while also creating a rewardingly complex smart-woman/badass combo in Muri, while the other real standouts include Sam Richardson (Veep, Werewolves Within) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge movies) as fellow draftees Charlie and Dorian, the former a scared-out-of-his-mind tech geek while the latter is a seriously hardcore veteran serving his THIRD TOUR, and the ever brilliant J.K. Simmonds as Dan’s emotionally scarred estranged Vietnam-vet father, Jim.  Sure, it’s derivative as hell and thoroughly predictable (with more than one big twist you can see coming a mile away), but the pace is brisk, the atmosphere pregnant with a palpable doomed urgency, and the creatures themselves are a genuinely convincing world-ending threat, the design team and visual effects wizards creating genuine nightmare fuel in the feral and unrelenting Whitespikes.  Altogether this WAS an ideal way to spend a comfy Saturday night in, but I think it could have been JUST AS GOOD for a Saturday night OUT at the Pictures …

8.  ARMY OF THE DEAD – another high profile release that went straight to streaming was this genuine monster hit for Netflix from one of this century’s undeniable heavyweight action cinema masters, the indomitable Zack Snyder, who kicked off his career with an audience-dividing (but, as far as I’m concerned, ultimately MASSIVELY successful) remake of George Romero’s immortal Dawn of the Dead, and has finally returned to zombie horror after close to two decades away.  The end result is, undeniably, the biggest cinematic guilty pleasure of the entire summer, a bona fide outbreak horror EPIC in spite of its tightly focused story – Dave Bautista plays mercenary Scott Ward, leader a badass squad of soldiers of fortune who were among the few to escape a deadly outbreak of a zombie virus in the city of Las Vegas, enlisted to break into the vault of one of the Strip’s casinos by owner Bly Tanaka (a fantastically game turn from Hiroyuki Sanada) and rescue $200 million still locked away inside.  So what’s the catch?  Vegas remains ground zero for the outbreak, walled off from the outside world but still heavily infested within, and in less than three days the US military intends to sterilise the site with a tactical nuke.  Simple premise, down and dirty, trashy flick, right?  Wrong – Snyder has never believed in doing things small, having brought us unapologetically BIG cinema with the likes of 300, Watchmen, Man of Steel and, most notably, his version of Justice League, so this is another MASSIVE undertaking, every scene shot for maximum thrills or emotional impact, each set-piece executed with his characteristic militaristic precision and explosive predilection (a harrowing fight for survival against a freshly-awakened zombie horde in tightly packed casino corridors is the film’s undeniable highlight), and the gauzy, dreamlike cinematography gives even simple scenes an intriguing and evocative edge that really does make you feel like you’re watching something BIG.  The characters all feel larger-than-life too – Bautista can seem somewhat cartoonish at times, and this role definitely plays that as a strength, making Scott a rock-hard alpha male in the classic Hollywood mould, but he’s such a great actor that of course he’s able to invest the character with real rewarding complexity beneath the surface; Ana de la Reguera (Eastbound & Down) and Nora Arnezeder (Zoo, Mozart in the Jungle), meanwhile, both bring a healthy dose of oestrogen-fuelled badassery to proceedings as, respectively, Scott’s regular second-in-command, Maria Cruz, and Lilly the Coyote, Power’s Omari Hardwick and Matthias Schweighofer (You Are Wanted) make for a fun odd-couple double act as circular-saw-wielding merc Vanderohe and Dieter, the nervous, nerdy German safecracker brought in to crack the vault, and Fear the Walking Dead’s Garrett Dillahunt channels spectacular scumbag energy as Tanaka’s sleazy former casino boss Martin, while latecomer Tig Notaro (Star Trek Discovery) effortlessly rises above her last-minute-casting controversy to deliver brilliantly as sassy and acerbic chopper pilot Peters.  I think it goes without saying that Snyder can do this in his sleep, but he definitely wasn’t napping here – he pulled out all the stops on this one, delivering a thrilling, darkly comic and endearingly CRACKERS zombie flick that not only compares favourably to his own Dawn but is, undeniably, his best film for AGES.  Netflix certainly seem to be pleased with the results – a spinoff prequel, Army of Thieves, starring Dieter in another heist thriller, is set to drop in October, with an animated series following in the Spring, and there’s already rumours of a sequel in development.  I’m certainly up for more …

7.  BLACK WIDOW – no major blockbuster property was hit harder by COVID than the MCU, which saw its ENTIRE SLATE for 2020 delayed for over a year in the face of Marvel Studios bowing to the inevitability of the Pandemic and unwilling to sacrifice those all-important box-office receipts by just sending their films straight to streaming.  The most frustrating part for hardcore fans of the series was the delay of a standalone film that was already criminally overdue – the solo headlining vehicle of founding Avenger and bona fide female superhero ICON Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow.  Equally frustratingly, then, this film seems set to be overshadowed by real life controversy as star and producer Scarlett Johansson goes head-to-head with Disney in civil court over their breach-of-contract after they hedged their bets by releasing the film simultaneously in cinemas and on their own streaming platform, which has led to poor box office as many of the film’s potential audience chose to watch it at home instead of risk movie theatres with the virus still very much remaining a threat (and Disney have clearly reacted AGAIN, now backtracking on their release policy by instigating a new 45-day cinematic exclusivity window on all their big releases for the immediate future). But what of the film itself?  Well Black Widow is an interesting piece of work, director Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome) and screenwriter Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok) delivering a decidedly stripped-back, lean and intellectual beast that bears greater resemblance to the more cerebral work of the Russo Brothers on their Captain America films than the more classically bombastic likes of Iron Man, Thor or the Avengers flicks, concentrating on story and characters over action and spectacle as we wind back the clock to before the events of Infinity War and Endgame, when Romanoff was on the run after Civil War, hunted by the government-appointed forces of US Secretary of State “Thunderbolt” Ross (William Hurt) after violating the Sokovia Accords.  Then a mysterious delivery throws her back into the fray as she finds herself targeted by a mysterious assassin, forcing her to team up with her estranged “sister” Yelena Belova (Midsommar’s Florence Pugh), another Black Widow who’s just gone rogue from the same Red Room Natasha escaped years ago, armed with a McGuffin capable of foiling a dastardly plot for world domination.  The reluctant duo need help in this endeavour though, enlisting the aid of their former “parents”, veteran Widow and scientist Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexie Shostakov (Stranger Things’ David Harbour), aka the Red Guardian, a Russian super-soldier intended to be their counterpart to Captain America, who’s been languishing in a Siberian gulag for the last twenty years. After the Earth-shaking, universe-changing events of recent MCU events, this film certainly feels like a much more self-contained, modest affair, playing for much smaller stakes, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less worthy of our attention – this is as precision-crafted as anything we’ve seen from Marvel so far, but it also feels like a refreshing change of pace after all those enormous cosmic shenanigans, while the script is as tight as a drum, propelling a taut, suspense-filled thriller that certainly doesn’t scrimp on the action front.  Sure, the set-pieces are very much in service of the story here, but they’re still the pre-requisite MCU rollercoaster rides, a selection of breathless chases and bone-crunching fights that really do play to the strengths of one of our favourite Avengers, but this is definitely one of those films where the real fireworks come when the film focuses on the characters – Johansson is so comfortable with her character she’s basically BECOME Natasha Romanoff, kickass and ruthless and complex and sassy and still just desperate for a family (though she hides it well throughout the film), while Weisz delivers one of her best performances in years as a peerless professional who keeps her emotions tightly reigned in but slowly comes to realise that she was never more happy than when she was pretending to be a simple mother, and Ray Winstone does a genuinely fantastic job of taking a character who could have been one of the MCU’s most disappointingly bland villains, General Dreykov, master of the Red Room, and investing him with enough oily charisma and intense presence to craft something truly memorable (frustratingly, the same cannot be said for the film’s supposed main physical threat, Taskmaster, who performs well in their frustratingly brief appearances but ultimately gets Darth Maul levels of short service).  The true scene-stealers in the film, however, are Alexie and Yelena – Harbour’s clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as a self-important, puffed-up peacock of a superhero who never got his shot and is clearly (rightly) decidedly bitter about it, preferring to relive the life he SHOULD have had instead of remembering the good in the one he got; Pugh, meanwhile, is THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE MOVIE, easily matching Johanssen scene-for-scene in the action stakes but frequently out-performing her when it comes to acting, investing Yelena with a sweet naivety and innocence and a certain amount of quirky geekiness that makes for one of the year’s most endearing female protagonists (certainly one who, if the character goes the way I think she will, is thoroughly capable of carrying the torch for the foreseeable future).  In the end this is definitely one of the LEAST typical, by-the-numbers MCU films to date, and by delivering something a little different I think they’ve given us just the kind of leftfield swerve the series needs right now.  It’s certainly one of their most fascinating and rewarding films so far, and since it seems to be Johansson’s final tour of duty as the Black Widow, it’s also a most fitting farewell indeed.

6.  WRATH OF MAN – Guy Ritchie’s latest (regarded by many as a triumphant return to form, which I consider unfair since I don’t think he ever went away, especially after 2020’s spectacular The Gentlemen) is BY FAR his darkest film – let’s get this clear from the start.  Anyone who knows his work knows that Ritchie consistently maintains a near flawless balance and humour and seriousness in his films that gives them a welcome quirkiness that is one of his most distinctive trademarks, so for him to suddenly deliver a film which takes itself SO SERIOUSLY is one hell of a departure.  This is a film which almost REVELS in its darkness – Ritchie’s always loved bathing in man’s baser instincts, but Wrath of Man almost makes a kind of twisted VIRTUE out of wallowing in the genuine evils that men are capable of inflicting on each other.  The film certainly kicks off as it means to go on – In a tour-de-force single-shot opening, we watch a daring armoured car robbery on the streets of Los Angeles that goes horrifically wrong, an event which will have devastating consequences in the future.  Five months later, Fortico Security hires taciturn Brit Patrick Hill (Jason Statham) to work as a guard in one of their trucks, and on his first run he single-handedly foils another attempted robbery with genuinely uncanny combat skills. The company is thrilled, amazed by the sheer ability of their new hire, but Hill’s new colleagues are more concerned, wondering exactly what they’ve let themselves in for.  After a second foiled robbery, it becomes clear that Hill’s reputation has grown, but fellow guard Haiden (Holt McCallany), aka “Bullet”, begins to suspect there might be something darker going on … Ritchie is firing on all cylinders here, delivering a PERFECT slow-burn suspense thriller which plays its cards close to its chest and cranks up its piano wire tension with artful skill as it builds to a devastating, knuckle-whitening explosive heist that acts as a cathartic release for everything that’s built up over the past hour and a half.  In typical Ritchie style the narrative is non-linear, the story unfolding in four distinct parts told from clearly differentiated points of view, allowing the clues to be revealed at a trickle that effortlessly draws the viewer in as they fall deeper down the rabbit hole, leading to a harrowing but strangely poignant denouement which is perfectly in tune with everything that’s come before. It’s an immense pleasure finally getting to see Statham working with Ritchie again, and I don’t think he’s ever been better than he is here – he's always been a brilliantly understated actor, but there’s SO MUCH going on under Hill’s supposedly impenetrable calm that every little peek beneath the armour is a REVELATION; McCallany, meanwhile, has landed his best role since his short but VERY sweet supporting turn in Fight Club, seemingly likeable and fallible as the kind of easy-going co-worker anyone in the service industry would be THRILLED to have, but giving Bullet far more going on under the surface, while there are uniformly excellent performances from a top-shelf ensemble supporting cast which includes Josh Hartnett, Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice, Sicario), Andy Garcia, Laz Alonso (The Boys), Eddie Marsan, Niamh Algar (Raised By Wolves) and Darrell D’Silva (Informer, Domina), and a particularly edgy and intense turn from Scott Eastwood.  This is one of THE BEST thrillers of the year, by far, a masterpiece of mood, pace and plot that ensnares the viewer from its gripping opening and hooks them right up to the close, a triumph of the genre and EASILY Guy Ritchie’s best film since Snatch.  Regardless of whether or not it’s a RETURN to form, we can only hope he continues to deliver fare THIS GOOD in the future …

5.  FEAR STREET (PARTS 1-3) – Netflix have gotten increasingly ambitious with their original filmmaking over the years, and some of this years’ offerings have reached new heights of epic intention.  Their most exciting release of the summer was this adaptation of popular children’s horror author R.L. Stine’s popular book series, a truly gargantuan undertaking as the filmmakers set out to create an entire TRILOGY of films which were then released over three consecutive weekends.  Interestingly, these films are most definitely NOT for kids – this is proper, no-holds-barred supernatural slasher horror, delivering highly calibrated shocks and precision jump scares, a pervading atmosphere of insidious dread and a series of inventively gruesome kills.  The story revolves around two neighbouring small towns which have had vastly different fortunes over more than three centuries of existence – while the residents of Sunnyvale are unusually successful, living idyllic lives in peace and prosperity, luck has always been against the people of Shadyside, who languish in impoverishment, crime and misfortune, while the town has become known as the Murder Capital of the USA due to frequent spree killings.  Some attribute this to the supposed curse of a local urban legend, Sarah Fier, who became known as the Fier Witch after her execution for witchcraft in 1668, but others dismiss this as simple superstition.  Part 1 is set in 1994, as the latest outbreak of serial mayhem begins in Shadyside, dragging a small group of local teens – Deena Johnson (She Never Died’s Kiana Madeira) and Samantha Fraser (Olivia Scott Welch), a young lesbian couple going through a difficult breakup, Deena’s little brother Josh (The Haunted Hathaways’ Benjamin Flores Jr.), a nerdy history geek who spends most of his time playing video games or frequenting violent crime-buff online chatrooms, and their delinquent friends Simon (Eight Grade’s Fred Hechinger) and Kate (Julia Rehwald) – into the age-old ghostly conspiracy as they find themselves besieged by indestructible undead serial killers from the town’s past, reasoning that the only way they can escape with their lives is to solve the mystery and bring the Fier Witch some much needed closure.  Part 2, meanwhile, flashes back to a previous outbreak in 1977, in which local sisters Ziggy (Stranger Things’ Sadie Sink) and Cindy Berman (Emily Rudd), together with future Sunnyvale sheriff Nick Goode (Ted Sutherland) were among the kids hunted by said killers during a summer camp “colour war”.  As for Part 3, that goes all the way back to 1668 to tell the story of what REALLY happened to Sarah Fier, before wrapping up events in 1994, culminating in a terrifying, adrenaline-fuelled showdown in the Shadyside Mall.  Throughout, the youthful cast are EXCEPTIONAL, Madeira, Welch, Flores Jr., Sink and Rudd particularly impressing, while there are equally strong turns from Ashley Zuckerman (The Code, Designated Survivor) and Community’s Gillian Jacobs as the grown-up versions of two key ’77 kids, and a fun cameo from Maya Hawke in Part 1.  This is most definitely retro horror in the Stranger Things mould, perfectly executed period detail bringing fun nostalgic flavour to all three of the timelines while the peerless direction from Leigh Janiak (Honeymoon) and wire-tight, sharp-witted screenplays from Janiak, Kyle Killen (Lone Star, The Beaver), Phil Graziadel, Zak Olkewicz and Kate Trefry strike a perfect balance between knowing dark humour and knife-edged terror, as well as weaving an intriguingly complex narrative web that pulls the viewer in but never loses them to overcomplication.  The design, meanwhile, is evocative, the cinematography (from Stanger Things’ Caleb Heymann) is daring and magnificently moody, and the killers and other supernatural elements of the film are handled with skill through largely physical effects.  This is definitely not a standard, by-the-numbers slasher property, paying strong homage to the sub-genre’s rules but frequently subverting them with expert skill, and it’s as much fun as it is frightening.  Give us some more like this please, Netflix!

4.  THE SPARKS BROTHERS – those who’ve been following my reviews for a while will known that while I do sometimes shout about documentary films, they tend to show up in my runners-up lists – it’s a great rarity for one to land in one of my top tens.  This lovingly crafted deep-dive homage to cult band Sparks, from self-confessed rabid fanboy Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim), is something VERY SPECIAL INDEED, then … there’s a vague possibility some of you may have heard the name before, and many of you will know at least one or two of their biggest hits without knowing it was them (their greatest hit of all time, This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, immediately springs to mind), but unless you’re REALLY serious about music it’s quite likely you have no idea who they are, namely two brothers from California, Russell and Ronald Mael, who formed a very sophisticated pop-rock band in the late 60s and then never really went away, having moments of fame but mostly working away in the background and influencing some of the greatest bands and musical artists that followed them, even if many never even knew where that influence originally came from. Wright’s film is an engrossing joy from start to finish (despite clocking in at two hours and twenty minutes), following their eclectic career from obscure inception as Halfnelson, through their first real big break with third album Kimono My Place, subsequent success and then fall from popularity in the mid-70s, through several subsequent revitalisations, all the way up to the present day with their long-awaited cinematic breakthrough, revolutionary musical feature Annette – throughout Wright keeps the tone light and the pace breezy, allowing a strong and endearing sense of irreverence to rule the day as fans, friends and the brothers themselves offer up fun anecdotes and wax lyrical about what is frequently a larger-than-life tragicomic soap opera, utilising fun, crappy animation and idiosyncratic stock footage inserts alongside talking-head interviews that were made with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek style – Mike Myers good-naturedly rants about how we can see his “damned mole” while 80s New Romantic icons Nick Rhodes and John Taylor, while shot together, are each individually labelled as “Duran”.  Ron and Russ themselves, meanwhile, are clearly having huge fun, gently ribbing each other and dropping some fun deadpan zingers throughout proceedings, easily playing to the band’s strong, idiosyncratic sense of hyper-intelligent humour, while the aforementioned celebrity talking-heads are just three amongst a whole wealth of famous faces that may surprise you – there’s even an appearance by Neil Gaiman, guys!  Altogether this is 2+ hours of bright and breezy fun chock full of great music and fascinating information, and even hardcore Sparks fans are likely to learn more than a little over the course of the film, while for those who have never heard of Sparks before it’s a FANTASTIC introduction to one of the greatest ever bands that you’ve never heard of.  With luck there might even be more than a few new fans before the year is out …

3.  GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE – Netflix’ BEST offering of the summer was this surprise hit from Israeli writer-director Navot Papushado (Rabies, Big Bad Wolves), a heavily stylised black comedy action thriller that passes the Bechdel Test with FLYING COLOURS.  Playing like a female-centric John Wick, it follows ice-cold, on-top-of-her-game assassin Sam (Karen Gillan) as her latest assignment has some unfortunate side effects, leading her to take on a reparation job to retrieve some missing cash for the local branch of the Irish Mob.  The only catch is that a group of thugs have kidnapped the original thief’s little girl, 12 year-old Emily (My Spy’s Chloe Coleman), and Sam, in an uncharacteristic moment of sympathy, decides to intervene, only for the money to be accidentally destroyed in the process.  Now she’s got the Mob and her own employers coming after her, and she not only has to save her own skin but also Emily’s, leading her to seek help from the one person she thought she might never see again – her mother, Scarlet (Lena Headey), a master assassin in her own right who’s been hiding from the Mob herself for years.  The plot may be simple but at times also a little over-the-top, but the film is never anything less than a pure, unadulterated pleasure, populated with fascinating, living and breathing characters of real complexity and nuance, while the script (co-written by relative newcomer Ehud Lavski) is tightly-reined and bursting with zingers.  Most importantly, though, Papushado really delivers on the action front – these are some of the best set-pieces I’ve seen this year, Gillan, her co-stars and the various stunt-performers acquitting themselves admirably in a series of spectacular fights, gun battles and a particularly imaginative car chase that would be the envy of many larger, more expensive productions.  Gillan and Coleman have a sweet, awkward chemistry, the MCU star particularly impressing in a subtly nuanced performance that also plays beautifully against Headey’s own tightly controlled turn, while there is awesome support from Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh and Carla Gugino as Sam’s adoptive aunts Anna May, Florence and Madeleine, a trio of “librarians” who run a fine side-line in illicit weaponry and are capable of unleashing some spectacular violence of their own; the film’s antagonists, on the other hand, are exclusively masculine – the mighty Ralph Inneson is quietly ruthless as Irish boss Jim McAlester, while The Terror’s Adam Nagaitis is considerably more mercurial as his mad dog nephew Virgil, and Paul Giamatti is the stately calm at the centre of the storm as Sam’s employer Nathan, the closest thing she has to a father.  There’s so much to enjoy in this movie, not just the wonderful characters and amazing action but also the singularly engrossing and idiosyncratic style, deeply affecting themes of the bonds of found family and the healing power of forgiveness, and a rewarding through-line of strong women triumphing against the brutalities of toxic masculinity.  I love this film, and I invite you to try it out, cuz I’m sure you will too.

2.  THE SUICIDE SQUAD – the most fun I’ve had at the cinema so far this year is the long-awaited (thanks a bunch, COVID) redress of another frustrating imbalance from the decidedly hit and miss DCEU superhero franchise, in which Guardians of the Galaxy writer-director James Gunn has finally delivered a PROPER Suicide Squad movie after David Ayer’s painfully compromised first stab at the property back in 2016.  That movie was enjoyable enough and had some great moments, but ultimately it was a clunky mess, and while some of the characters were done (quite) well, others were painfully botched, even ruined entirely.  Thankfully Warner Bros. clearly learned their lesson, giving Gunn free reign to do whatever he wanted, and the end result is about as close to perfect as the DCEU has come to date.  Once again the peerless Viola Davis plays US government official Amanda Waller, head of ARGUS and the undisputable most evil bitch in all the DC Universe, who presides over the metahuman prisoners of the notorious supermax Belle Reve Prison, cherry-picking inmates for her pet project Taskforce X, the titular Suicide Squad sent out to handle the kind of jobs nobody else wants, in exchange for years off their sentences but controlled by explosive implants injected into the base of their skulls.  Their latest mission sees another motley crew of D-bags dispatched to the fictional South African island nation of Corto Maltese to infiltrate Jotunheim, a former Nazi facility in which a dangerous extra-terrestrial entity that’s being developed into a fearful bioweapon, with orders to destroy the project in order to keep it out of the hands of a hostile anti-American regime which has taken control of the island through a violent coup.  Where the first Squad felt like a clumsily-arranged selection of stereotypes with a few genuinely promising characters unsuccessfully moulded into a decidedly forced found family, this new batch are convincingly organic – they may be dysfunctional and they’re all almost universally definitely BAD GUYS, but they WORK, the relationship dynamics that form between them feeling genuinely earned.  Gunn has already proven himself a master of putting a bunch of A-holes together and forging them into band of “heroes”, and he’s certainly pulled the job off again here, dredging the bottom of the DC Rogues Gallery for its most ridiculous Z-listers and somehow managing to make them compelling.  Sure, returning Squad-member Harley Quinn (the incomparable Margot Robbie, magnificent as ever) has already become a fully-realised character thanks to Birds of Prey, so there wasn’t much heavy-lifting to be done here, but Gunn genuinely seems to GET the character, so our favourite pixie-esque Agent of Chaos is an unbridled and thoroughly unpredictable joy here, while fellow veteran Colonel Rick Flagg (a particularly muscular and thoroughly game Joel Kinnaman) has this time received a much needed makeover, Gunn promoting him from being the first film’s sketchily-drawn “Captain Exposition” and turning him into a fully-ledged, well-thought-out human being with all the requisite baggage, including a newfound sense of humour; the newcomers, meanwhile, are a thoroughly fascinating bunch – reluctant “leader” Bloodsport/Robert DuBois (a typically robust and playful Idris Elba), unapologetic douchebag Peacemaker/Christopher Smith (probably the best performance I’ve EVER seen John Cena deliver), and socially awkward and seriously hard-done-by nerd (and by far the most idiotic DC villain of all time) the Polka-Dot Man/Abner Krill (a genuinely heart-breaking hangdog performance from Ant-Man’s David Dastmalchian); meanwhile there’s a fine trio of villainous turns from the film’s resident Big Bads, with Juan Diego Botta (Good Behaviour) and Joaquin Cosio (Quantum of Solace, Narcos: Mexico) making strong impressions as newly-installed dictator Silvio Luna and his corrupt right hand-man General Suarez, although both are EASILY eclipsed by the typically brilliant Peter Capaldi as louche and quietly deranged supervillain The Thinker/Gaius Greives (although the film’s ULTIMATE threat turns out to be something a whole lot bigger and more exotic). The film is ROUNDLY STOLEN, however, by a truly adorable double act (or TRIPLE act, if you want to get technical) – Daniella Melchior makes her breakthrough here in fine style as sweet, principled and kind-hearted narcoleptic second-generation supervillain Ratcatcher II/Cleo Cazo, who has the weird ability to control rats (and who has a pet rat named Sebastian who frequently steals scenes all on his own), while a particular fan-favourite B-lister makes his big screen debut here in the form of King Shark/Nanaue, a barely sentient anthropomorphic Great White “shark god” with an insatiable appetite for flesh and a naturally quizzical nature who was brilliantly mo-capped by Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Project, who also plays Waller’s hyperactive assistant John Economos) but then artfully completed with an ingenious vocal turn from Sylvester Stallone. James Gunn has crafted an absolute MASTERPIECE here, EASILY the best film he’s made to date, a riotous cavalcade of exquisitely observed and perfectly delivered dark humour and expertly wrangled narrative chaos that has great fun playing with the narrative flow, injects countless spot-on in-jokes and irreverent but utterly essential throwaway sight-gags, and totally endears us to this glorious gang of utter morons right from the start (in which Gunn delivers what has to be one of the most skilful deep-fakes in cinematic history).  Sure, there’s also plenty of action, and it’s executed with the kind of consummate skill we’ve now come to expect from Gunn (the absolute highlight is a wonderfully bonkers sequence in which Harley expertly rescues herself from captivity), but like everything else it’s predominantly played for laughs, and there’s no getting away from the fact that this film is an absolute RIOT.  By far the funniest thing I’ve seen so far this year, and if I’m honest this is the best of the DCEU offerings to date, too (for me, only the exceptional Birds of Prey can compare) – if Warner Bros. have any sense they’ll give Gunn more to do VERY SOON …

1.  A QUIET PLACE, PART II – while UK cinemas finally reopened in early May, I was determined that my first trip back to the Big Screen for 2021 was gonna be something SPECIAL, and indeed I already knew what that was going to be. Thankfully I was not disappointed by my choice – 2018’s A Quiet Place was MY VERY FAVOURITE horror movie of the 2010s, an undeniable masterclass in suspense and sustained screen terror wrapped around a refreshingly original killer concept, and I was among the many fans hoping we’d see more in the future, especially after the film’s teasingly open ending.  Against the odds (or perhaps not), writer-director/co-star John Krasinski has pulled off the seemingly impossible task of not only following up that high-wire act, but genuinely EQUALLING it in levels of quality – picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (at least after an AMAZING scene-setting opening in which we’re treated to the events of Day 1 of the downfall of humanity), rejoining the remnants of the Abbott family as they’re forced by circumstances to up-sticks from their idyllic farmhouse home and strike out into the outside world once more, painfully aware at all times that they must maintain perfect silence to avoid the ravenous attentions of the lethal blind alien beasties that now sit at the top of the food chain.  Circumstances quickly become dire, however, and embattled mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt) is forced to ally herself with estranged family friend Emmett (Cillian Murphy), now a haunted, desperate vagrant eking out a perilous existence in an abandoned factory, in order to safeguard the future of her children Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe) and their newborn baby brother.  Regan, however, discovers evidence of more survivors, and with her newfound weapon against the aliens she recklessly decides to set off on her own in the hopes of aiding them before it’s too late … it may only be his second major blockbuster as a director, but Krasinski has once again proven he’s a true heavyweight talent, effortlessly carving out fresh ground in this already magnificently well-realised dystopian universe while also playing magnificently to the established strengths of what came before, delivering another peerless thrill-ride of unbearable tension and knuckle-whitening terror.  The central principle of utilising sound at a very strict premium is once again strictly adhered to here, available sources of dialogue once again exploited with consummate skill while sound design and score (another moody triumph from Marco Beltrami) again become THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of the whole production. The ruined world is once again realised beautifully throughout, most notably in the nightmarish environment of a wrecked commuter train, and Krasinski cranks up the tension before unleashing it in merciless explosions in a selection of harrowing encounters which guaranteed to leave viewers in a puddle of sweat.  The director mostly stays behind the camera this time round, but he does (obviously) put in an appearance in the opening flashback as the late Lee Abbott, making a potent impression which leaves a haunting absence that’s keenly felt throughout the remainder of the film, while Blunt continues to display mother lion ferocity as she fights to keep her children safe and Jupe plays crippling fear magnificently but is now starting to show a hidden spine of steel as Marcus finally starts to find his courage; the film once again belongs, however, to Simmonds, the young deaf actress once and for all proving she’s a genuine star in the making as she invests Regan with fierce wilfulness and stubborn determination that remains unshakeable even in the face of unspeakable horrors, and the relationship she develops with Emmett, reluctant as it may be, provides a strong new emotional focus for the story, Murphy bringing an attractive wounded humanity to his role as a man who’s lost anything and is being forced to learn to care for something again.  This is another triumph of the genre AND the artform in general, a masterpiece of atmosphere, performance and storytelling which builds magnificently on the skilful foundations laid by the first film, as well as setting things up perfectly for a third instalment which is all but certain to follow.  I definitely can’t wait.

[47pictures]

“All-Star”

Link to original r/nosleep post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/mv9j9a/for_my_blog_i_toured_a_movie_studio_to_find_the/

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I finally made it to Hollywood… at least, I suppose that’s what I’d say if I were trying to make it big. That wasn’t exactly the case, though. On the contrary, my old hometown friend was the one who I’d say ‘made it big,' and she was the only reason I managed to get there. No way in hell I could just stroll through these Hollywood gates without some sort of reputation associated with my name.

I’m currently pursuing a degree in journalism, and right now I’ve got a pretty successful status as a blogger, and hopefully podcaster in the near future. My topics typically cover things involving entertainment, specifically movies, television, some celebrity gossip here-and-there, the ins and outs of the film and occasionally music industry, nerd topics about comic books or comic book movies, and I could go on. Essentially, all the things you’d expect from an entertainment blogger.

I don’t have a secret or special tip for how I grew a mass following. It just sort of happened. I did it since I was in high school - sophomore year, to be exact, and it started mainly as a hobby. Most people are surprised to hear that I was such a good writer and articulate for my age when they look back on the articles I’d put up during that time, speaking on topics such as the ‘downfall of blockbuster films,’ and the ‘toxicity of media's body standards on the youth.’ Truthfully, I didn’t know all of what I was saying half the time. Writing was sort of just my natural gift that I honed to where I could essentially bullshit anything well enough to make a great story. However, being ethical always remained my moral code.

The topic I was covering now involved my own personal ‘investigation’ of a famous movie studio known as Gemini Films. They’ve put out several flicks now that have garnered what most would consider moderate success (they're no Warner Bros. or Paramount, that's for sure). They deal mostly in the thriller/horror genre, sort of like Blumhouse. I’m a bit more in the sci-fi, comedy realm when it comes to my tastes, but really, I’m a bit of a pussy when it comes to scary stuff.

So why am I 'investigating' them? Well, as it turns out, it's their amazing use of special effects. Yep, that’s it. Special effects, that thing we fell for as children we called ‘movie magic,' and growing up learned that some of it were all the crafty work of well-put CGI. Though that’s usually the case, this time, something about Gemini Films seemed different. They’ve always been praised for their ‘hyperrealistic’ visual effects and pulling off stunts that would otherwise seem impossible. I was watching one of their action/horror films titled Last Thorn, and in a particular scene, a character’s on-screen death is, well, very lightly put, gruesome. I’ve seen my share of on-screen gore and played plenty of Mortal Kombat growing up, but I gotta say, I found the scene hard to watch. To clarify, it involved a character literally exploding before the camera, and from the way it was shot and the lack of cuts and edits typically required to create the illusion of a scene, it seemed quite real. A little too real…

They’ve done other things aside from their special effects department that some people on internet discussion forums found a bit too impressive. Take the actors, for instance. In their dramatic scenes, especially the horror flicks, I’m almost always convinced that the actors are actually going to die on screen. I’m surprised all of them haven’t been given Oscars yet, ‘cause goddamn, you’d think the director was holding them at gunpoint. We all saw just how amazing the acting was in films like Hereditary and The Babadook were, but I gotta say, after watching these films, they make those two look like child’s play (no pun intended to the Chucky series). I was so impressed with the actors that I had to look them up and see what other work they’d done, but from what I did find, their resumes didn’t seem that much greater than the work they’d done for GF. It was almost as if that was the peak of their careers unless they decided to further their contracts to star in any more of their movies. Anything else they did pale in comparison that showcased their acting chops.

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Jamie Douglas.

It had somewhat of household name potential, I thought. She was the next rising star. She’d just won a Golden Globe for her leading role in a TV series I’m sure no one had high hopes for in the beginning, and her name was now attached to an Academy Award-winning film for Best Original Screenplay, all at the age of 22. Her acting was stellar, always had been even growing up back in high school when we did theater together. I was never for the acting side of things; I always preferred the technical realm and behind-the-scenes work. She, however, had the ‘it’ factor. I never once doubted that she’d be famous. It was destined for her.

The taxi driver dropped me off in front of a luxurious one-story home in the Beverly Hills neighborhood, surrounded by other similar houses with a property value larger than what I’d probably make in my lifetime if I was being honest. From the outside, her home reminded me of that gilded, golden age of Hollywood back in the 60s, with a slanted roof and art deco-styled exaggerated features. It was nice and simple. But that’s how Jamie was. Nice and simple.

I could see her peeking through the curtains of her window before she came running out the door to meet me in the front yard. That big beautiful smile and those joyous eyes came rushing at me with open arms.

“Christian!” she screamed my name with excitement, as she gave me a big, suffocating hug.

I hugged her back with my free arm, as my other one was still carrying my trolley bag and she had that one pinned in her grip.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, I made it to Hollywood, right?” I dryly humored.

Jamie giggled as she began to pull back from her hug and put both her hands on my shoulders.

“Yes we did,” she said with a big smile, flashing her perfectly straight, white teeth. “We sure did.”

She led me inside the house and gave me a tour. Compared to the outside, the inside was the complete opposite in regards to the decorative era. Whereas the exterior was ‘groovy’, the inside was a bit more with the times. Wide-open spaces, tan or beige-colored furniture and walls, a wide sliding door for the backyard where you can see the pool. Jamie recently moved into the house, so I figured there wouldn’t be a lot of things to fill it up with just yet.

“Someone said Bette Davis used to live in this house, which I knew was bullshit, otherwise the value on this home woulda been way outta my league,” Jamie commented.

I chuckled. “Oh, I think you’re well on your way, trust me,” I reassured.

I was going to be staying with her for a week while I did my journaling/blogging. We did tons of catching up. She gave me all the inside scoop of what goes on in Hollywood - or ‘Hollyweird’ as I liked to call it - and even some of her other famous neighbors you might recognize living double lives on the down-low. She said she’d been to a couple of big mansion parties as well, where you’ll see all sorts of celebs from different categories of entertainment. Actors, athletes, musicians, models, influencers, you name it. But Jamie insists that she doesn’t attend those very often, if hardly at all. She prefers to be a homebody when she’s not seeking work through her agent, and her extraversion mostly comes to play when it involves networking.

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The rest of the night we stayed up watching TV and YouTube videos. One that fascinated both of us was a video explaining how scientists managed to find a way to make a perfectly cooked steak from a cow, but without actually harming or slaughtering it. Instead, they extracted a small sample of the cow’s cells and took it to a lab where the cells would essentially grow into muscle for it to be cooked later.

“I’d consider that over going vegan,” Jamie said.

But I grimaced at the thought. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right,” I remarked.

"What, are you vegan?"

"No, not that. Just the thought of cloning animals, ya know?"

“I mean, it’s not like they’re killing the cow or anything. They said it’s perfectly unharmed.”

“I know, but still…”

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The next morning was day one for me. Jamie had the right connections to get me an on-set tour of the studio lots associated with Gemini Films. I was greeted and led by the third assistant director (or AD as they’re commonly referred to).

“Hi, I’m Tiffany, nice to meet you,” she said, with a rather forced smile and handshake.

She carried a clipboard in her other arm, as well as a hand-held radio clipped to the pocket of her jeans, and I saw that she also had an earpiece nestled in her right ear. I could tell she was about her business and probably didn’t have time to be overly nice or talk too much.

I got a sneak peek of their most current production under the production title *"*Cold Silence", which required me to sign an NDA beforehand, of course. That wasn't actually their final name for the movie, but it's a common thing for them to do when shooting a film when either they haven't decided on a name yet or to keep the nature of the project a secret. It sort of took me back to my theater tech days with all the set designs and props lying around, except these were much more detailed and intricate thanks to their higher budget than what my high school had at the time. Here, there was limitless potential. Tiffany also introduced me to the other ADs, PAs, boom operators, cameramen, make-up artists, and then last but certainly not least, the director.

“Jeffrey?” Tiffany called to the man sitting in the director’s chair. The man turned to face her and then me. “This is Christian Watkins. He’s the man we’re giving a behind-the-scenes scoop for his… blog?” She looked to me for confirmation, to which I nodded. “Yeah, for his blog.”

The man in the big chair stood up with a cool smile and classy charm and extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, nice to meet you,” the man spoke in a tenor pitch. “Jeffrey Bachmann,” he introduced himself.

I didn’t take too much time last night trying to read up on his bio, but from what I could tell at first glance I knew that he was about in his mid to late fifties, as his hair was greying and skin was starting to wrinkle, and I could see that he had a surprisingly calm and laid-back demeanor. Surprising to me, at least. I always thought directing was a high-paced, chaotic mess that never ceased to present a myriad of complications onset that’d make any man want to pull their hair out. But Jeffrey seemed calm, collected, and very personable.

“Hi, thank you for having me,” I replied. “Seriously, this is like a really cool opportunity for me and my blog.”

“Hey man, it’s my pleasure,” Jeffrey said. “I heard you got a big following behind your name. Props to you. I respect the work ethic, especially giving your readers what they really want to see, ya know?”

I shrugged modestly. “Well thank you, but this time was mostly in my own interest to seek out this idea for my current blog,” I said.

“Ah, an interest in GF, huh?” Jeffrey replied. “Well, what would you like to know? We’ve got nothing but time today. In fact, we’re just getting ready to shoot the mangle scene for today and then we’ll wrap it up before we review the dailies.”

“Mangle scene?”

“Oh yeah, if you’ve got a weak stomach or aren’t into gore you don’t have to watch.”

At least he gave me discretion. “Hmm, I think I’ll tough this one out,” I said. “For the blog.”

Jeffrey gave me a sincere but slightly unsettling grin. “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

He was a nice guy so far, but you know how you just meet certain people that for whatever reason, out of their control, their aura seems off? Maybe it was my preconceived notion and warranted cynicism I had of people working in Hollywood. Just a bunch of sharks in a pool with hungry eyes for desperate young talents eager to take a dive in the spotlight. But as I’d imagine with any field, there had to be a decent share of lambs among the many wolves.

Suddenly, one of the makeup artists scampered over to us, their attention directly at Jeffrey.

“Hey,” they said to him with a noticeably fake inflection.

“Hey, what's up?” Jeffrey returned.

“Savannah? She’s losing it back there. Said she wants to talk to you and only you.”

Jeffrey nodded. “Don’t worry, I got it,” he said, as he patted his hand on the MUAs shoulder. He then gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Christian, duty calls, but hey, Tiffany?” he looked to the stern AD. “Make sure he gets a front-row view for the martini shot.”

“Yes sir,” Tiffany replied.

Jeffrey and the MUA stepped off to handle whatever business needed handling regarding one of the actresses backstage in the dressing room.

“Martini shot?” I asked.

“Last shot for the day,” Tiffany explained. “For me, that’s a term I like to take literally.”

She seemed so serious all this time that I found the joke almost funny.

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There was now quiet on the set. Shooting was about to start shortly. At this point in the movie, the main character has a stand-off that turns into a big fight scene with the main bad guy at a warehouse factory building. At first, there’s a gunfight, then eventually they both run out of ammo and it comes down to a fistfight before finally having a standstill on top of a rail just over a giant industrial shredder.

Right now, the actor playing the bad guy, Will, is hanging on for his life over the rail above the shredder, while Thomas, the main good guy, is standing over him victoriously. My question was, is the shredder real? ‘Cause it sure as hell looks like it. It wasn’t turned on yet, but just from a glance it seemed legit enough that if I dropped something as sturdy as a microwave in there, it’d come out jelly on the other end.

For the blog, I told myself. For the blog…

Suddenly, my suspicions were confirmed once Jeffrey called to have the shredder turned on. The machine roared to life, the inverting sharp metal gears rotating past each other being a black hole eating everything that passes through it with no escape. Holy shit. It was actually fucking real.

Jeffrey gave the nod to the 1st AD, and the AD returned the same.

“Action!” the AD called.

Based on what Jeffrey showed me from the script, Thomas is supposed to stomp on Will’s hand that’s gripping onto the edge of the rail, causing him to fall to his death into the shredder. The camera was now rolling, yet, I didn’t see Thomas do the deed. Was he pausing for dramatic effect? Was he acting for the camera? I wasn’t quite sure why he was hesitating.

I peaked over to notice that Jeffrey, the once calm and collected man I met backstage earlier, was now beginning to seem noticeably impatient and about to snap at any moment. There was now that dark edge I noticed about him from before but couldn’t quite put a finger on that I could see now coming to light.

Hesitation filled Thomas’ veins, about to raise his foot, then not, dragging on the scene longer than intended. From this distance, I tried to see Will’s own expression, and I regret ever doing so. Surely he was acting, but I’ll be damned, it was too good. Whatever fear he portrayed transmuted itself into me now. It was the kind of fear that I didn’t think could be replicated on command. Jeffrey stood up from his seat, but just before he could say anything or call ‘cut’, Thomas stomped his foot down on Will’s hand, and we all watched as his fingers slip from the railing. Will sent out a bloodcurdling scream as he plummeted to his ‘death’. What followed will haunt me forever.

Do you know what it sounds like to have a person’s body mangled to death? Have you bitten into the bone of any sort of meat? Heard and felt the crunch? Or maybe even the crunch of celery? I myself have never broken a single bone in my body, but imagining what it might sound like other than what I’d heard in movies or video games all seemed elementary now. At first, I had to look away, but what forced me out of my seat to leave was Will’s horrifying screams. He’d fallen feet first into the shredder, so his lower body had to suffer first before reaching his upper body and finally silencing him at the head.

I ran to find the nearest trashcan and hurled. I guess I really didn’t have the stomach for gore, at least, not to this degree. Will’s screams kept looping in my head. It was a new primal sound that evoked a dread within me that I wish I never discovered. The sound of torment. One thing was for sure, Will was one fucking hell of an actor - if this was acting. But the shredder…

It seemed so real. And there was no greenscreen besides the ones to be used for the background later in post-production. I saw him fall right into the damn thing. With my own eyes. In living color. There were no edits, no crazy tricks, no lighting effects. There couldn’t be. It just wasn’t possible.

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I was sitting down trying to recuperate, as everyone else around me was wrapping up set for the day. Tiffany came over and handed me a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it.

“You feelin’ better?” she asked.

“Hmm,” I answered with a scoff, raising both my eyebrows and taking a sip from the bottle.

“I’m surprised you stuck around if you had such a weak stomach. I mean, he at least warned you.”

“I usually don’t. But that?” I shook my head. “How do you guys do it? It looked so real.”

“I’m just pulling your leg. I almost vomited too my first time. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

If it was a shame to flinch at something so vile, I don’t wanna know what goes on in Jeffrey’s mind to even come up with such a scene. Speaking of which, I still didn’t get a one-on-one interview with him as I’d hoped. All I had was the end result of his ‘movie magic’, but not how he did it. At this point, I'm not sure I really wanna know.

I went to go get my belongings, which were left in one of the dressing rooms, and was stopped by the sound sniffling from the one a couple doors ahead of mine. I looked on the door to read whose room it belonged to. It read: SAVANNAH YOUNG. She was one of the lead actresses in the movie, or rather I should say the only actress in the whole film. With the makeup artist and Jeffrey thing that happened earlier, it was evident to me that something sour had gone on behind the scenes I didn’t know about.

The door was cracked open and I couldn’t see her face entirely from my view, but I knew she was sobbing. She looked to be sitting in front of her mirror. I was about to just ignore it and go on about my business.

I lightly knocked on the door. “You okay in there?” I asked.

She stopped and I could hear her get up and approach the door. She pulled it back just enough to where I could see her whole face. She was beautiful, just like Jamie, even if she had been crying.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah said. “Thank you.”

There was a brief awkward moment of silence between us. Clearly, she wasn’t fine, but I didn’t wish to pry any further than that.

“Are you one of the new PAs?” she asked. I arched a brow. “Production assistant?” she clarified.

“Oh, no, I’m just a visitor,” I assured. “Writing for my blog. I was supposed to be writing about behind-the-scenes things and how it all works around here, but I bitched out from the ‘mangling scene’.”

Savannah gave a short nod. “I see,” she said. “Well… I don’t blame you.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the way she said it or just from the state that I was in, but her words gave me chills.

“I should get going,” I told her. “Nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” she replied, and then shut the door.

I got my stuff from the dressing room and got ready to head out. I wonder what could’ve made Savannah so down to where the director had to get involved and set her straight. Jeffrey seemed pleasant to work with at first glance, but who knows, maybe he had a mean streak to him after all, especially the way he looked during the shooting of the scene. God, I just wanted to forget about it. I can’t unhear the sounds. The bones crunching, the blood splattering, and the screaming. The fucking screaming…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I was leaving the studio lot, I noticed the cleaning crew of two men dump a large amount of black bags in the dumpster. From the way they swung the bags over into the bin, the shit didn’t seem light. The bags were in several different sizes, some small, some big, some disproportionate. I stood there and watched as the two men finished disposing of the junk and walked away to go about their other duties.

Regular, common sense me would’ve just picked up the phone, called Jamie to let her know I’m ready to get picked up, and go about my day. But the nosy blogger me kept itching…

I made sure the coast was clear and made my way over to the bin. I can’t believe I was actually dumpster diving, and for what? What did I really expect to find? In my head, I knew the answer, but was avoiding it, either out of how ridiculous it may sound or, God forbid, I was right.

The trash wasn’t stacked high enough from the bottom for me to simply reach, so I had to literally get in there myself. I climbed over on the other end, raised the lid, and jumped down on the piles of plastic bags, holding the lid up with my arm and my breath so I didn’t get a huge whiff of the smell. Though, if I did need to puke again, I supposed this would be the place to do it.

I immediately noticed the bags the men threw away, but in order for me to check what was inside, I’d have to crouch down and let the lid close on me. Fine. That’s what the flashlight on my phone was for. Surrounded in darkness and garbage now, I turned the flash on, illuminating the four dirty walls around me and I pulled back one of the bags. I felt around to try and see what sort of contents might be inside. Mush. It felt all mushy with chunks of solid and a little bit of liquid.

This was stupid, I thought. I realized how stupid I probably looked right then and there, sitting in a bin full of filth looking for clues like some sort of private detective. My followers have no idea how far I’d go, but this was ridiculous. Oh well, I’m too deep in it now, no pun intended.

I held my phone in my mouth as I used my hands to rip open the plastic. My heart began pounding as I slowly pried the bag open. Once I got a peek inside, shame and embarrassment came over me.

Food.

I should’ve just called Jamie to come get me. Had I really become that desperate? I threw the bag over and out of my way. Then I noticed the bag underneath had trickles of fluid. Curious, I shined the light down on it. They were red trickles. Considering how I’d just overreacted only to find a bag full of thrown out lunch, I wasn’t about to get all up in arms about finding red drops behind a Hollywood studio lot. I didn’t know the full recipe for fake blood, but if I recall correctly, Alfred Hitchcock used chocolate when they filmed the shower scene from Psycho.

I tried to follow the small trail and see if it led to another bag. I slowly pointed the light further up and it led me to the bag just behind the one I tossed to the side. Looks like it had a small bust that caused it to leak. When I pulled this one over, a very noticeable smell filled my nostrils and erased any other scent of the trash that surrounded me. It was a metallic, rusty sort of odor, like copper from a penny. However, that smell also belonged to something else…

I ripped open the bag, and with the shine of my light beaming down, I was welcomed to a bright crimson sight of mashed blood and guts. It had to be fake, I thought. It had to… but the way I recoiled from the putrid metallic fresh scent of carnage, my primal instincts told me that wasn’t the case. I innately knew that it was real. I was staring at Will’s mangled body.

Frozen from fear, I sat there for who-knows-how-long. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’d call the cops first, of course, but they would need evidence, and even then they’d probably dismiss me after I told them I dove into the dumpster of a movie set where fake blood is a common prop. I’d tell Jamie the same, but she’d look at me crazy, too.

I unlocked my phone and started snapping pictures. As much as I could. I even opened some other bags and did the same. I tried to snap every bit of remains that was left of Will and saved them into my phone. It felt like a sick test to see how long I could hold my breath so I wouldn’t gag, and I think I broke a new record that day.

I snapped probably about 47 pictures on my phone before I finally shot up and threw open the bin. The wave of fresh air hit me like a truck, and enjoyed it for only a brief second before turning to see Jeffrey, Tiffany, and the other AD standing by his side. My soul left my body right then and there.

“Christian?” Jeffrey said, sounding concerned.

Fucking say something, I told myself. I did my best not to stutter and look stupid.

“Hey, Jeff,” I said, raising the inflection of my voice, probably sounding dumb.

“Going for a swim there?” Jeffrey joked.

I fake laughed, then put on my best acting skills. “I cannot for the life of me find my ring.”

“Your ring?”

“Yeah, my mom’s ring?”

Then, with the slick subtle motion, I hid my hands to where they couldn’t see them behind the walls of the bin, and with careful coordination used my fingers on my right hand to pull the ring I already had on and flicked it down onto the trash below. I shuffled my feet over the bags I stood on to make noise so they wouldn’t hear the ring drop. Please God, don’t let the ring hit the hard bottom floor or one of the rusty walls, I thought. To my relief, it didn’t.

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Christian, I haven’t seen it,” Jeffrey said, as he looked at the other two as they also shook their heads. “But we can definitely look around again and let you know if we find anything.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying not to make my voice tremble with anxiety.

“Now, c’mon, let’s get you outta there,” Jeffrey said, waving his hand over.

I nodded and shot a quick timid smile. I climbed out of the bin and faced the three before me, wiping myself down.

“Hands a little messy there,” Jeffrey said.

Anxiety raced through me again, but adrenaline had my back to make sure I didn’t fuck up by saying anything dumb.

“Oh, the fake blood?” I chortled. “Yeah, you guys lots of that shit in there. Smells like a chocolate factory.”

Jeffrey fell for it, and laughed. Good. But he could just as easily be playing me right now.

“Given how you ran off earlier back there I’m surprised you can stand to look at it, better yet, touch it,” he remarked.

“I’m sorry about that,” I stammered but stayed on track. “It’s just… I now see for myself, no one does it like GF.”

“Haha, you don’t have to flatter me to get back my respect. Don’t sweat it. I totally understand.”

Is that so? I thought.

“You could use that martini shot right about now, huh?” Tiffany joked.

Definitely not with her any time soon. Or any of them, for that matter.

“Well we’re just heading out for the day, you got a ride?” said Jeffrey.

“Yeah, I should probably call Jamie now and let her know I’m done,” I replied.

“It’s no problem, man, I can give you a lift. I can drop you off wherever you need me to.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, I insist-”

“Jamie and I got a spa appointment to catch in a bit. Otherwise I appreciate the offer.”

Jeffrey had a brief look in his eyes, a glint of what I could only compare to a wolf’s gaze hiding behind that sheep’s clothing he carried himself around as, and then smiled and nodded.

“Okay, Christian,” he said. “Once again, nice to meet you and I hoped you enjoyed the tour, and hopefully make some good content for your blog.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Thank you so much again. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s nothing, Chris,” Jeffrey said, throwing me off a bit. “Can I call you, Chris?’

I shrugged. “Sure. I mean, I called you Jeff by accident,” I said.

“It’s fine. Chris and Jeff it is.”

I needed to get away from here. Now and as fast as possible. But I still needed to do one more thing.

“Any chance I can wash these off inside?” I said, raising my bloodied hands.

“Oh of course,” Jeff said.

“I can lead him back,” Tiffany said, ready to go with, but Jeffrey stopped her.

“Ah, he knows his way in, right?” Jeff looked to me for reassurance.

“Yeah,” I answered confidently.

“Good, well hopefully I’ll see you around, Chris, and you enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thank you, Jeff. And you all do the same.”

As I walked past them and towards the studio lot, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being set up. Why hadn’t he let Tiffany escort me back inside? I’d think that would be customary for them to do for visitors entering and exiting the building. But I felt that they were watching me from behind, and with every step, I grew more and more anxious.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’d made it inside and the lot was now nearly empty and quieter. I didn’t see a single person in sight, and only a few lights remained on, making it mostly dark. I hurried the fuck up and did what I came to do, as I didn’t wanna be here any longer and didn’t feel safe.

Down the hall where the dressing rooms were, I rushed over to Savannah’s door, and saw that it was closed. I tried opening it only to see it was locked. Looking down, there was no light shining through the cracks either, meaning there was no one inside. She wasn’t there. Shit.

I washed my hands in the bathroom, scrubbing the dried blood off as thoroughly as possible, getting under nails and all, cringing at the thought of it being Will’s. Suddenly, I heard a noise from outside the hall leading to the bathroom. Petrified, my heart sank into my chest, and I froze. I shut the water off, and carefully approached the door. I listened for any other sounds as I placed my ear closer. After a few moments, I heard the noise again, but then realized that it seemed to be coming from one of the dressing rooms just outside in the hall.

Since I carry a notebook around most of the time for jotting down notes, I certainly always carry a pen. What most people don’t know is that I carry a military tactical pen for a variety of uses, and in times like these, it can be used as a subtle but effective weapon. I switched the tip from an ink ball to a small slick blade.

I opened the bathroom door and crept through the hall over to the dressing room door that made the noise, holding the pen underneath the breast pocket of my sweater. On the outside of the door, it read, “WILL BANKS.”

Confused, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Common sense me once again kept barking in my brain telling me to GTFO, but I had to be sure. I gave three shy knocks and waited. There was definitely someone in there because whatever noise I thought I heard from behind came to an utter halt. I could hear faint whispers of someone’s voice, and then another. There was more than one. My hand trembled as it tightly gripped the pen underneath with sweat as I heard whoever it was on the other end of the door approach.

It swung open, and there stood Will Banks, the man whose blood was just on my hands moments ago, alive and well, in the flesh. It couldn’t be, I thought to myself.

“Can I help you?” he said.

I just stood there, baffled, without answering. Behind him, I saw Savannah, who instantly recognized me and came over.

“Hi,” she said. “I thought everyone left.” She looked to Will. “He was visiting the set today for his vlog, or I’m sorry, blog.”

Will nodded, understanding now. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t get to meet you. Will Banks,” he said, pointing at his name on the door. “As you can see.” Savannah chuckled, and Will extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, or Chris,” I said, releasing the pen from inside my sweater and reaching my own hand out to take his. "Whichever you please."

He had a firm shake, and it felt uncanny considering what I’d just witnessed. I was touching him, feeling his skin and bone underneath, the warmth of his body temperature through the flesh. He was real. He was alive and breathing. That couldn’t be faked. That couldn’t be a visual effect. This was real. After we let go, suddenly my hand went cold. Everything about this seemed off and downright strange.

“Did you stick around for the shoot?” Will asked.

“I did, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, what’d you think?”

I wanted to say so many things right then and there, he had no idea.

“Um... y’all are some damn good actors,” I said.

Will laughed a bit, accepting my sham form of flattery, but Savannah, not so much. She gave one of those forced gestures as to not make it feel awkward, though, I noticed it right away.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“I would give you some artistic bullshit answer like ‘study your craft’ or ‘years of training,' things like that, but honestly… it just kinda clicks, ya know?”

I fake chuckled. “No, I don’t. It looked kinda real from my end. Too real, I might add. Care to go into detail how you guys pulled it off?”

“Well, uh-”

Savannah interrupted. “Wait, you know what Jeffrey would say,” she whispered to him.

“I know, but it’s for his blog,” Will argued.

“But still.”

“I mean, Jeffrey’s not here, right?” I chimed in.

They both looked at me, then at each other. There seemed to be some sort of nonverbal understanding between them, and Will looked back at me.

“All right, for the sake of your blog, I’ll give you what I can to the best of my wording, that sound good?” Will proposed.

I took the pen back out from inside, switching it to the ink ball with a short click, and whipped out my small notebook. “Hit me,” I said.

“Get ready for this one. Basically, we’ve been using a new thing in the biz lately sort of like mocap but it’s not exactly. It’s also kinda like hologram sort of tech?”

“Really?” I said, eyes widened with interest as I wrote words down.

“Yep. That’s how we did it. What you saw, was as real as the hologram thingamajig allowed you to.”

“Hmm.”

“The shredder, too.”

“What?”

“The shredder. That was a hologram also.”

“Really? Okay…”

I finished writing on my notepad then turned it so that Will could read it.

BITE ME, I wrote with a big circle around it.

He laughed. Savannah did, too, but, again, in a strange nervous and restrained demeanor.

“That’s a nice story,” I said. “So if you’re ready to quit bullshitting with me, and tell the truth, I’m ready,” I spoke in a playful yet no-nonsense tone. “How’d you do it?”

“You’re good, man,” Will said with a smile, pointing his finger at me. “Like a true journalist.”

Any other day I’d be pleased to hear that, but I was serious. I needed to know, so much that I’d forgotten how long I’d actually been here. I told myself I was gonna leave as soon as I could, but now, for some reason after talking with Will and seeing how personable and genuine he came off, he put me a bit at ease. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. But then the screams echoed in my head again, and the smell...

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” I said.

“Look, I wish I could, honestly, but if I did, Jeffrey may not be too happy with either of us,” Will responded sincerely. That much was true, I could tell.

“All right, I think I tortured you enough,” I said, then immediately regretted my choice of words.

“No worries, man. Nice meetin’ ya. Good luck with the blog.”

“Thanks.”

I looked at Savannah one last time, and she looked back with a serious and almost scary gaze as though she needed to tell me something very bad. That’s who I came back for anyways. But that opportunity was a lost cause now, as I left with nothing and still no understanding of how Gemini Films did their visual effects? And I lost my mother’s ring. Fuck, I didn’t have time to go get it right now. I didn’t wanna risk being seen again. Hopefully, Jeffrey keeps his word and they somehow manage to give it back. That being said, I'd be fine with not having to see him ever again.

Whose blood was that? Whose body was that in the dumpster? Was it real? Was it actually just that well made to where the average person could be fooled into thinking it was actual flesh? Who’d go through the trouble of all that?

The screams of losing your life inch by inch, the sounds that would haunt me forever. And the smell of what was inside that bag. That instinctual gut feeling… how was it not real?

[alcalavicci]

Finally typed up that one gen fic I mentioned before and do like since it’s so damn funny and I’m saving it here for posterity:

(Disclaimer- if this is yours and you don’t want it online, send me an ask and I’ll take it down)

My Brother, the Beauty Queen (by Kim Smith and Judi Toth)

“Tell me another story.”

Sam rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Katie, c’mon. I’ve already told you about Jimmy, Chad, Cam and Phillip. Isn’t that enough for one night?”

His sister grinned impishly. She may have been forty-one, but right now she looked about five. “Please?”

“A word of advice, Sam.” The words were muffled, with good reason. Katie’s husband Jim lay face down on the couch across the living room. His wife was sitting on him, administering a backrub. “Don’t argue, just tell her. Maybe then she’ll let us go to bed.”

“Katie.” The voice floated past Sam from the direction of the kitchen. “From what I understand, Sam ‘leaped’ nearly a hundred times. I don’t think we’re gonna run out of stories anytime soon.” Tom appeared in the doorway separating the two rooms, holding an open bottle of beer and yawning.

“Only one hundred? We’ll run out of them too soon! And I haven’t heard enough tonight. Come on, Sammy, just one more. Please?”

“You shouldn’t have given her my bedroom when I went in ‘Nam, Sam. It spoiled her.”

Jim raised his head from the pillow cradled in his arms. “You mean it wasn’t inborn? Ouch! Katie, stop! I’m sorry already! Jeez, I think you broke a rib.”

“It’s a good thing your brother-in-law is a doctor, then. He’ll fix you up after,” she emphasized, glaring at Sam, “he tells me a story.”

Seeing no way out, Sam sighed heavily. Okay. “Let’s see...”

“I have one.”

Everyone turned towards the voice coming from the patio door. They had almost forgotten Al was there, he’d been so quiet during the siblings’ conversation. Katie twisted around to look at him, eliciting a groan from her living seat. “Is it good?”

Al carefully studied the tip of his glowing cigar. “Well… I recall a time in 1958. June, I believe it was. In Georgia...”

There was no way anyone could’ve missed the effect Al’s words had on Sam. His eyes went very wide, and he began to fidget in his chair. “Um, hey, Katie. Did I tell you we found the tomb of Ptah-Hotep? I almost got killed on that leap.”

His sister looked at him for a moment, then deliberately turned back to Al. “Georgia, huh?”

“Uh huh. We were at this hotel...” Al paused to take a long drag on his cigar. “At a convention, of sorts.”

“Yes?” Katie prompted.

“Or how about the time I was a trapeze artist. You remember, Tom… remember how I’m scared of heights? Got over it then, let me tell you.” Sam paused to see if they were merciful. “Please let me tell you!”

Slow grins appeared on both of the other Becketts’ faces. “Go on, Al,” Tom said.

“Sam took the place of someone participating in...” He looked over at Sam, eyes narrowing. The younger man’s fidgeting grew more pronounced. “...A contest.”

“I was an actor,” Sam said desperately. “I played Hamlet. On a stage. In front of people. Nude.”

Katie raised an eyebrow, then held up a finger at him. “Hold that thought, bro’. Al?”

The older man’s eyes gleamed in a way that scared Sam. “Actually, it was more of a pageant.”

“You know, I just remembered. I promised Donna a backrub before she went to sleep. I’ll just go upstairs...”

A heavy hand pressed him back into the chair. Sam looked up into Tom’s grinning face. “Why, it would be rude to leave now, little brother. After all, the admiral listened to all of your stories. It’s only polite that you should sit here and listen to his.”

Sam covered his eyes. “Oh boy.”

Al walked into the living room. The man who, as a hologram never passed up the chance to take a bow he hadn’t earned, knew this stage was his. “To be precise, it was the ‘Deep South’ beauty pageant...”

“Time out,” Tom interrupted. “A pageant for men? In the fifties?”

Katie shook her head. “Tom, I think you’re missing a point here...”

Tom’s eyes widened. “You mean… Sam was a...”

“A woman,” Al nodded, matter-of-fact. “More than once, actually. But those are other stories.”

“And ones we’ll hear.” Tom leaned down, closer to Sam, and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m sure.”

Something that might have been a groan escaped from the lump that was once a proud Nobel Prize winner.

“This young lady, Darlene Monte, was quite a looker. Deserved to be in a beauty pageant. She also had the brains to go along with the looks. She went on to college with the money she won in the contest and become one of the first heart surgeons in the country.” Al paused for effect. “Beautiful. Graceful. And with a good chance of placing in the pageant… that is, until your brother leapt in.”

Katie wiggled in anticipation. “I’m likin’ this already.”

“He did bad enough in the swimsuit competition… but then there was the talent competition.”

Sam’s head popped up. “Wait a second! I did really well in the talent competition. In fact, I won because of the talent competition.”

“You won?” Tom asked disbelievingly. He shook his head in mock horror. “My brother, the beauty queen.”

Jim sat up, dislodging his wife. “Adding yet another title to your resume, Sam?”

“Et tu, Jim?” came the feeble response from the family genius.

“Getting back to this talent contest thing,” Katie said, rearranging herself on the couch. “What did he do?”

“I sang ‘Great Balls of Fire.’ The crowd loved it,” Sam said defensively.

All eyes turned to Al, who shrugged his shoulders. “He’s right. The crowd ate it up.”

Sam nodded his satisfaction at Al’s concession.

“’Course, that was the pageant. At the recital, he sang ‘Cuanto Le Gusta’… and he didn’t do as well.”

“So? I had never heard the song before. So what? I dropped it; I sang ‘Great Balls of Fire,’ and I won.” Sam ended with a firm nod of his head.

There was a pause. Everyone shifted expectantly, waiting for the punchline from Al. When none was forthcoming, Katie gave him a searching look. “This is a good story?”

The older man shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I guess it was his costume. You see, it was this red and gold flowered thing.” His hands began to wave over his body vaguely. “With this big hat thingy…” His arms moved in expanding circles in the air. “And it kept tipping...” Al comically leaned to his left then swayed to his right, still drawing circles in the air.

The only person left smiling in the room was Sam, obviously relieved to be spared an embarrassing moment. “I guess it’s about time that we started to turn in. I’ll tell you another story tomorrow, Katie.” The quantum physicist began to stretch in his chair.

“It’s really hard to describe...” Al began.

“That much is obvious,” Jim interjected.

“…so I guess I’ll have to show you.”

Sam stiffened. Somewhere behind him, he heard a trap door slam shut. “What?”

Al pulled a handlink out of his pocket and activated it.

“What do you mean, ‘show’?”

Ignoring him, Al spoke to the link. “Ziggy, access one of Dr. Beckett’s leaps. Monte, Darlene. 1958.” He turned to Katie and said confidentially, “He doesn’t know about the film.”

Sam stared at Al in shock. “What do you mean, ‘film’? The rehearsal wasn’t...”

Al just looked at him.

“Oh no. No!”

“Yes! Oh yes!” Katie crowed, clapping her hands. “This is definitely something I want to see.”

Tom plopped down next to her. “This will be an experience.”

Al began turning the television to face the trio on the couch more fully. “The film is a little grainy. But I think the quality is pretty good for something fifty years old. Anyway, you’ll get the picture. Pun intended.”

Sam shook his head. “He doesn’t really have any film. He’s just playing with me. This is a big joke. Really.”

In unison, everyone turned to Sam and smiled, then looked back to the TV. The black and white picture on the screen showed a medium-sized stage with a line of white curtains draped across the back. A young woman, dressed in a Carmen Miranda outfit, slowly appeared from behind the curtains, reluctance written all over her face. The slit in the front of her skirt opened almost all the way every time she took a step. Ineffectually tugging at it, she continued on stage, anxiously looked to her right and mumbled at thin air.

“So where’s Sam?” asked Tom.

Al smiled at the screen and answered, “That’s him, on stage now. I was standing right next to him, trying to get him to act more like he knew what he was doing. But of course, he couldn’t just trust me.”

The TV speakers began to play the Latin music and the young contestant nervously stepped forward and started to sing. One beat off.

“Cuanto le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta.”

The dance that accompanied the song could, at best, be called unrehearsed. The performer swayed drunkenly on her heels, obviously not knowing whether to go right or left. Her top heavy hat teetered in the opposite direction of her hips, as if the fruit on top wanted to jump down and take over the dance. The presentation was not helped by the lady in question continually glancing right, as if searching for clues.

“What’ll we see there? Who will be there?” “Darlene” continued plodding through the song, seemingly unaware that she was just slightly off pitch. “What’ll be the big surprise?”

Jim and Tom laughed as she began to turn in circles like a puppy chasing after its tail.

“Oh, the poor girl!” Katie exclaimed.

“But it’s not a girl!” Tom worked out between guffaws. “It’s Sam, looking mighty fine. Say, nice legs, little brother!”

Sam was unable to take his eyes off the TV; it was simply too horribly fascinating. He remembered all too clearly the frustration and humiliation he had felt every time he leaped into a woman. He hadn’t realized he had projected his misery so obviously, though. No wonder his leaps as women had always been the hardest.

“Here’s where Sam really lost it. The song could’a been his, but he blew it.” Al’s gravelly voice projected amusement as the girl on the stage began a new line, by only singing the back-up singer’s lines.

“...We’re on our way… Pack up your bag… And if we stay… We won’t come back.”

Roars of laughter came from the sofa. It’s not often that an audience is witness to an act with one back-up singer and dancer, but no lead. Even Sam had to smile in concession at the absurd picture he had presented.

The television now showed the hapless beauty pageant positioning herself for the next round. “Thank you. That’ll be all for now,” came from off camera. Surprised, “Darlene” looked down. Realizing that meant she was free to go, she gratefully gathered her skirt in front of herself with one hand and her fruit-top in the other and beat as hasty a retreat as possible.

Tom looked over at Sam, who was trying to make himself look unconcerned. Still chuckling, the eldest Beckett shook his head at Sam. “You know, when your friends at Indiana State got you drunk and convinced you to go streaking, I thought we had just reached the pinnacle of your ‘wild ways.’ I mean, after all, you got drunk underage, exposed yourself and got expelled, all in one shot. But I never knew, little brother, that you liked to go stage-hopping in drag.”

“Before marrying Katie, I was told that the Beckett clan had some… eccentric members.” Jim grinned at Sam. “But I do wish I’d been warned about the cross-dressing. Is that something we’ll have to worry about in our kids?”

Katie stood and walked over to her brother. “Don’t be so hard on him, guys. After all, he did a wonderful thing. He helped that young woman become a doctor. And it is quite an accomplishment to win a beauty pageant.” She leaned down to look Sam straight in the eyes. “I do have one question, though.”

Warily, Sam gave her a short nod.

“How did you get your legs so smooth? Did you use a waxing system, or was it just shaving?” she asked earnestly.

The laughter began all over again, this time even louder.

Over Katie’s head, Sam met Al’s dark eyes. “A hologram,” he said loudly. “can’t be touched. Trying to reach for it, your hand passes right through. But you aren’t a hologram any more, Al.” The quantum physicist stood and began a menacing walk towards the admiral.

Katie interposed herself between the two men. “Now, Sam, we’re just having a little fun. You can’t blame Al for getting into the spirit of things. Sam?”

“Al, if you want me to, I’ll stop him.” Tom stood to his full six foot three inches. “I can still take on my little brother.”

Al stood his ground, waving away the offered help. “No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

Sam stopped his advance just a few inches from the admiral. Frowning, he glared down at his friend. “Why aren’t you at least backing off? You backed off when I tried to throw a pie in your face when you were a hologram. What gives?”

Rocking on his heels, a smug grin on his face, Al said, “January 24, 1961. Andrews Air Force Base. Bobo.”

“Time for bed,” came the instant response from Sam. “Good night.”

Everyone stared in shock as the former time traveler practically flew out of the room. As the last of the thumping, taking steps two at a time, faded, three pairs of eyes looked back at Al.

“Al, tell me another story.”

[phantomchick]

My wip list

Writing out my list of works in progress in the hopes that it becomes more manageable and easier to decide which to work on after I do.

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Call Me  Fandom: dc comics / batfandom Summary: Jason calls Bruce for help after being assaulted, they deal with the aftermath both in the revenge way and the hurt/comfort way. Amount of work necessary to complete: ??? It’s a two parter fic so only one chapter left to go, however serious writer’s block to work through on this second part so who actually knows.

I tell myself that I don't need Anyone (But the truth is no one needs Me)   Fandom: dc comics / batfandom Summary: The scene in UTRH where Bruce throws a Batarang into Jason’s throat is bullshit especially because there’s never any consequences for it, that’s not just bullshit, it’s batshit! And I refuse to accept it. A What if Jason didn’t disappear into the night after the events of UTRH to arrange for his next villain appearance, fix it fic. Amount of work necessary to complete: Likely going to be one of my longest fics yet, a multi chapter whopper!  Which means a lot of work, both in research and in writing.  I need to read up on ALL of the modern captain atom comics, a bunch of the crisis event chemo Bludhaven comics and maybe a couple of other ancillary comics of that era too, before I even get to writing the nitty gritty of the fic. We’re doing this canon and we’re doing it right! A fixing-everything motivated fic putting the canon divergence back into fandom.

The Many Curses of The Wayne Name / Of Curses and Covenants Fandom: dc comics/batfandom Summary: So much of a work in progress the official title’s still not completely decided! A fic delving into the relationship between the Wayne Family and the Zatara family, told through a series of curses various generations of the Waynes have been afflicted with over the years, some of these curses the Zataras were able to remove and some they couldn’t. Currently intend to have it end with Zatanna and her nephew Zach coming to dinner with Bruce and his kids. Amount of work necessary to complete:  I already have an index of curses and which Waynes in the chronology get cursed where, ready to build with. But the series itself is still more a couple of lines and potential scenarios than any actual fic. Not sure how many stories I’ll end up telling here so unsure of how much work it’ll be to complete, likely a lot to get it off the ground though.

The Monster In The Man Fandom: Merlin, (bbc) Merlin, Summary: A continuation to CaffeinatedFlumadiddle's fic The Monster in the Mirror that ended on a horror-esque cliffhanger - written because my brain couldn’t handle the cliffhanger and had to extrapolate with a part two. Intended as a gift fic to that author. Basically the spell from an enchanted mirror has escaped and possessed Merlin, and is attempting to use Merlin’s worst fears against him until he kills Arthur. Can Arthur who has only just found out about Merlin’s magic save Merlin from what’s inside him? Amount of work necessary to complete:  Currently at a little over 5000 words but likely to need at least another 5000 to both get to the main action and resolve things.

Those Winter Sundays  Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man Summary: Snapshots of Tony working hard for the avengers and no one noticing. Amount of work necessary to complete:  Unknown as currently more of a wip idea than a wip itself, likely going to be a oneshot containing a bunch of ficlets.

Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Thor Summary: Thor tells the story of his banishment and return to Asgard ending with Loki falling into the Void and the Avengers have some questions, questions Thor had not thought of, remarks on things that Thor doesn't know how to explain.  He goes to Loki's cell and asks him some things becoming more and more angry despite having no one he can punch. Gets drunk and criticises Sif and The Warriors Three. Focus on Loki still being underage by Aesir standards during Thor 1. “For while the Treason I detest, the Traitor I love still.” Amount of work necessary to complete:  Either a oneshot or a two chapter fic. Need to be careful to ‘show not tell’ considering the plot I’m going with is gonna have a lot of talking about things that have already happened.

A Trinity of Head Wounds Fandom: DC Comics, Justice League Summary: Friendship fic, angst and hurt/comfort Clark yells at a concussed Bruce for being reckless and because Bruce is concussed he ends up accidentally making the slightly addled Bruce cry. When Clark notices he shuts his mouth so fast he could've crunched titanium between his teeth. Diana walks in, sees Bruce in tears and PUNCHES CLARK ACROSS THE ROOM WITHOUT HESITATION. After that there’s a lot hurt/comfort on all sides and Clark opens up about his anxiety over Bruce’s mortality and Diana bleeds on Bruce’s shoulder. Amount of work necessary to complete: It’s a oneshot but it’s one of those difficult ones where you’ve got to get everything just right or the emotional intent gets totally lost so a big ??? for this one too.

Separation  Fandom: DC Comics, UTRH Summary: Split personality disorderRed Hood and Jason Todd, alternatively, Red Hood is a demon/parasite latched on to Jay. Amount of work necessary to complete: A lot considering it’s currently just an idea.

A Stark in The Stars Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Iron Man Summary: Tony’s survived the universe wide disaster known as the snap or the decimation and has even survived carrying out it’s reversal, but he’d much rather help Thor, Carol and the Guardians sort out intergalactic repair efforts than face the damage Steve has accidentally done to time itself back on Earth. He keeps forgetting the differences between what happened in the fake timeline and the original one the longer he’s on Earth and though he knows Stephen Strange is doing all he can to fix it, he also knows that the changes for him are a lot more confusing and disconcerting than they are for the others (Save for poor Sharon Carter).  Pepper understands better than anyone and actually packed his bag for him (with Morgan’s help) when he tried to explain what he was feeling. Maybe the little settlement on that mineral loaded planet he keeps visiting on behalf of the dwarves can help him find what he needs to get past this. Amount of work necessary to complete: This is a slower more thoughtful work about learning how to live when you never thought you’d survive and the sense of alienation you can get as a veteran returning to a world that isn’t the way you expected it to be when you got home. As such, it’s very introspective, so I want to take my time with it but realistically it’s likely to be a series of vignettes from both Tony’s perspective and the perspective of the people he encounters out in his travels through the galaxies. Max 5 chapters.

Another Time, Another Place Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Martha and Thomas Wayne are sent 20 years into the future only to see a young man they've never met standing in their drawing room. He claims to be their grandson. I just love the idea of Jason being left in the house with Damian and Duke with Bruce, Tim and Dick gone and he's the eldest so he's gotta look after the situation Amount of work necessary to complete: However long it takes me to get past the writer’s block for the ending - I have most of a plot outline ready to write based on, except for how I’m going to resolve things. A oneshot with the possibility of an epilogue chapter to follow.

Vicki Finds A Bat Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Vicki Vale sees Jason Todd sitting in a wafflehouse. Chaos ensues. Amount of work necessary to complete:  Currently a little over 2000 words, probably gonna need an extra 2000 before it’s done.

You Don't Know Anything  Fandom: dc comics / Batfandom Summary: Gift fic for paradise_runaway. One where the other Bat boys find out the circumstances of Jason's death and resurrection and their reaction. Amount of work necessary to complete: Started and restarted multiple times, can’t decide which route to take with it. It’s just a oneshot so once I get some inspiration to hit for it, it’ll probably be done pretty quick.

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[spacejellyfish3]

My Top Ten Movies Of All Time

To elaborate on a previous reblog, I wanted to go a bit more in depth on the movies I chose.

This list will be in order.

10. The Lost Boys (1987)

This movie is pretty amazing. It’s wild and crazy and so completely and utterly 80s in all of its 80sness. It’s about a family who moves to Santa Carla (The Murder Capital Of The World) only for the eldest son to be considered for “recruitment” by a flock of hip and happening bad boy vampires led by a very young Kiefer Sutherland. This movie is great; from the comic book store employees who act with the seriousness of F.B.I agents, the oiled up musclebound saxophone player with way too much or way too little (depending on who you ask) screentime, to what may be the greatest movie dog to ever exist. Watch it, you’ll have fun.

9. Bumblebee (2018)

This movie is pretty recent, but it rules. Despite the boundless cliches, I found myself really enjoying myself while watching Bumblebee (and this is coming from someone who never really got into Transformers). There’s a lot of heart and joy in it, and so much humor AND drama. The movie is CARRIED by Hailey Steinfeld, who gives an incredible and powerful performance as Charlie Watkins. I also really loved the chemistry between her character and literally everyone she meets (most especially Bumblebee). It had some fun villains and a GREAT third act. Love it a lot.

8. Carrie (1976)

Ahhhh...this movie...

This may be the best adaptation of a Stephen King book. Ever. No really.

The eponymous Carrie White is a teenage outcast, bullied and belittled at school and abused emotionally, verbally, and physically by her religiously fanatical mother. Carrie discovers she also has telekinetic powers. Her horrible life seems to soon get better when popular girl Sue, in an attempt to make amends with Carrie, asks her boyfriend Tommy to take Carrie to the prom. This leads to a wonderful night at prom, with Carrie being crowned Prom Queen. This one truly shining moment of pure happiness is shattered to pieces by a viciously cruel prank, giving the audience one of the most famous scenes in cinematic history. A tragic take on the classic Cinderella story, this movie manages to be heartwarming and tearjerking oftentimes simultaneously.

7. Spider Man: Into The Spider-Verse (2018)

This movie is objective perfection, fight me.

6. Mean Girls (2004)

What can I possibly say about this movie that hasn’t been said before? It’s fetch.

But seriously, this movie rules. Not only is it the most quotable movie of ALL TIME, it’s also a great cautionary tale about the dangers of popularity (thank you Musical Adaptation) that makes sure to remember to treat the “mean girls” as actual human beings who have their own hopes and feelings that drive them. It showcases high school social structures in a way that makes it relevant even now. Like its predecessors Heathers and Clueless, Mean Girls made sure to craft its own identity and how to properly approach the theme of popularity. Ironically, though, its success has led other filmmakers and producers to try and replicate it; make the next “Mean Girls” instead of crafting a movie with love and care. This is why I think we haven’t gotten an intensely quotable movie about popular girls that would define a generation like Heathers, Clueless, and, yes, Mean Girls did. This movie still rules, though.

5. The Little Mermaid (1989)

Yes.

Beautiful animation, great songs, and a terrific villain. What more could you ask for? (I could talk about the opinions some people have with this movie that makes them not like it, but that’s for another day I think)

4. Evil Dead 2 (1987)

This is a great horror movie. Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are just pure condensed awesomeness. I would’ve put the entire Evil Dead franchise in this spot if I could have but if I had to pick just one for my list, this is the one I would pick.

3. Wonder Woman (2017)

My favorite live action comic book movie. While it took a long time to get here, it definitely made it worth the wait.

Wonder Woman tells the story of the character it’s based on so wonderfully (yeah I know, lame pun), because it takes aspects from almost every writer she’s ever had—from George Perez to Greg Rucka to way way back to William Moulton Marston, her creator—while giving it their own unique spin. It keeps true to the key traits of Diana, and makes sure to keep her in character all throughout. And while I have some issues with the third act, I love the message: no one is solely good or evil, we all have a choice to do either. And it’s not about deserving, it’s about what you believe that makes the difference.

2. Tangled (2010)

My favorite animated Disney film. Tangled is a masterpiece of storytelling (I have talked about this before), wonderful animation, and compelling characters. It adapts the classic fairytale while also making smart and interesting changes that elevate it and perfect it. The characters are all amazingly acted; Zachery Levi breathes life into dashing thief Flynn Rider (a.k.a Eugene Fitzherbert), Donna Murphy is simultaneously hilarious and frighteningly realistic in how terrifying she is, while Mandy Moore is Rapunzel. It’s ironic, actually, that this movie has such a...tangle-free story.

...I’ll show myself out.

1. Stardust (2007)

I feel like Belle put it best.

“It’s my favorite! Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!”

While it’s honestly amazing and terrifying how well that quote describes this movie and why I love it, there’s a lot of reasons besides that. It has an amazing cast—Mark Strong, Sienna Miller, Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, a young Charlie Cox (which, fun fact: because this movie didn’t propel him into A-List status as intended, he was able to work way more on his craft which probably allowed him to nab his role as Daredevil), and not to mention Henry Cavill in a hi-larious early role. So yes...this movie has Daredevil fighting Catwoman/Wasp, Dr. Sivana, and Superman.

But it also has a lot of cool scenes and action, great set design and lighting, and a timeless feel to it. It’s The Princess Bride of my generation. I remember when I first saw this movie I wanted to see Daddy Day Camp for some odd reason (11-year old me had horrible taste in movies), and I spent the next few years hating this movie because Michelle Pfeiffer traumatized me for such a long time. It’s only now that I’ve matured a lot more since 2007 that I’ve been able to appreciate this movie.

This movie is amazing and I love it!

Since I did NOT tag anyone else on the reblog that I’m expanding on (cause I’m an idiot), I will do it now.

The rules are simple:

10 gifs of your 10 favorite movies without the movie title. Then tag or don’t tag (it’s not mandatory to do it) others to do the same.

I’ll tag @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @lilmeier @night-gem-shit @bethanyleerose edit*@captain-shannon-becker.

[thenightling]

My thoughts on Marvel’s War of The Vampires

Recently Marvel comics did a storyline called War of the Vampires.

In this story Dracula’s castle is destroyed and several vampires are vying for power.  There are warring factions apparently trying to gain dominion over all the vampires of the the Earth.   

The supernatural members of The Avengers and their allies are forced to get involved.  Blade: The Vampire Hunter gets recruited into The Avengers main roster.   

Dracula turns up in his old man form, looking frail and weak, and deliberately surrenders himself to the Russian government and he is taken prisoner.  (Avengers issue 014, 2019.)

And yes, Dracula conjures an electrical storm for dramatic effect during his entrance because Dracula is a freakin’ primadona!  I love him. :-P   

The Avengers want to take him back to America where they can better watch and keep him.  They consider him a proverbial living weapon and don’t want the Russian government to have him and potentially use him as a weapon.  Dracula claims he just wants some peace and quiet and is tired of the constant fighting and death.

While captive Dracula deliberately goads Tony Stark by telling him that his father came to him begging and offered anything (including Tony, in childhood) if he could be made immortal.

It briefly looks like Dracula is trying to provoke Tony into taking him from the Russians to drag him back to the America to be held by The Avengers in Avengers Tower.  However this is misdirection from the writers and not his actual plan and he does not want to leave Russia at all.   His deliberately creates a distraction. 

He creates a prison riot by psychically influencing the prisoners but does not try to escape even though he had the perfect opportunity.  He merely does this to prove to Stark that he can and that he is right where he wants to be, affirming his claim that he has surrendered himself and is tired of fighting.   

Further note:   They have all these elaborate restraints on him. An anti-bite face mask (that still allows for speech), a chest plate that’ll stake him if he gets too frisky (First time I saw that was in Boom Comics’ Dracula: Company of Monsters.  Someone’s stealing from someone else), heavy chains, covers on both his hands to keep him from using his claws, devices that somehow prevent him from taking bat, wolf, and mist form, and some sort of IV system to keep him semi-starved and weak / possibly drugged.  But no one thought to dampen his psychic powers?  The Raft (Superhuman prison) can do that but the Russian equivalent (currently being visited by Tony stark) can’t?    

Red Widow has the cruel task of interrogating him even after he has told them many of his secrets.  She rounds up all of Dracula’s vampiric previous lovers (and there are quite a lot).   

She tells him she’ll torture and kill them slowly unless he shares everything with them.  If he does share all the knowledge he has, she’ll kill them quickly.  Either way they die.  

 The scene also reveals that Dracula has male and female lovers.

Marvel’s Dracula has now been confirmed as having had male and female lovers.  This is not the only bisexual or panasexual Dracula in pop culture.  The German production of the Frank Wildhorn Dracula the Musical (Dracula das Musical) gives him brides and grooms in his castle and Dario Argento has said his version of Dracula is bisexual, and Marvel has now confirmed that their version of Dracula has had male and female lovers.    

  The first victim in the torture-interrogation is this pretty, androgynous creature.

I don’t know much about this pretty elfish, semi-androgynous character.   I’m not even entirely sure the character is male (but others have Identified him as male).  In any event Dracula wept blood tears when this unnamed character was killed.  And he (the lover) was clearly willing to die for Dracula. 

I don’t know his name so I am going to call him Samuel.  And in my mind he was the pretty castle librarian whom Dracula became infatuated with.  There.  Headcanon achieved.  

Further note: Usually if you make Dracula cry, it means he’ll take brutal and violent revenge. This is a universal truth with all versions of Dacula.  Never make him cry.  

Seriously, I want to know this guy’s story.  Dracula cries for him!  In front of his enemies, he weeps for him!   Did Dracula make him a vampire or was he already a vampire when they met?  Give us this story, Marvel!   Who is he???

Later it’s revealed that Dracula’s capture was part of an elaborate scheme so that he would get dumped in Chernobyl.

But this is precisely what Dracula wanted all along.

It is in this vast, isolated, irradiated wasteland that Dracula has decided to re-establish his kingdom of the vampires.   Everything was part of his elaborate plan just to re-establish his vampiric kingdom.   

But based on his reaction to the lovers being slaughtered, I don’t think that part was quite in his plans. So again, I ask, who was that pretty male lover whose death brought Dracula to tears?

By the way, I freakin’ love this story. I just hope Marvel doesn’t screw it up by doing something cliche like letting the radiation from Chernobyl mutate the vampires living there.   

Further note: Many of the vampires in this storyline were semi-innocent and sympathetic and some of the heroes were just douches, such as seeing “heroes” killing a coven of vampires who plead that they were peaceful and never fed on the innocent and literally said “Please don’t hurt us.” and begged for their lives.  “The good guys” ladies and gentlemen.   

It’s a good story but I’m tired of deconstruction.  I like my heroes actually having compassion and mercy.  You shouldn’t have to make good characters asses to make the antagonists sympathetic.  Marvel’s Dracula was already likable since Tomb of Dracula.  

A few other things I didn’t like.  

1.  Captain Marvel is shoehorned into the story even though it could very easily have been told without her.  It’s blatantly obvious that she was only in there to promote her new movie And it was shameless.   She’s crammed onto each cover so heavily that if I was just judging by the cover I wouldn’t even know Dracula was in this story!

Also, for some reason Captain Marvel is now immune to Ghost Rider’s Penance Stare because of course she is!  At this point I feel like asking who is left who is NOT immune to The Penance Stare?!?  Morbius is immune, The Punisher is immune, and now Captain Marvel is immune.  

This is getting as bad as Mjolnir.  A few years ago Loki (who was acting as protagonist in his own solo comic, Loki: Agent of Asgard) ended up under the "inversion spell" during the Axis event / storyline. The spell inverted his personality. Since he had been on a redemption arc this made him betray his friends, act selfishly and self-righteously.   And somehow "because he no longer felt guilt" was able to lift Mjolnir.   Now let's look at Ghost Rider's Penance Stare.   Morbius is immune to the Penance Stare because he feels constant guilt for the lives he's taken.  Frank Castle is immune to the Penance Stare because he feels no remorse for anything he's done. It would seem they are using the "Morbius reasoning" that Captain Marvel feels constant guilt. But constant guilt for what?  She (the comic book version) doesn't have as many sins as her cinematic counterpart and even then she was being manipulated by aliens who played with her mind.   Marvel keeps making too many excuses to allow the current "Flavor of the month" or "Cool kid" to do things to make them super special.   Currently by their logic if you feel no guilt you are immune to Ghost Rider's Penance Stare AND can lift Mjolnir.  That pretty much means all you need to be the best of the best in Marvel is to be a sociopath. Too many people are being allowed to lift Mjolnir and too many characters are immune to Ghost Rider's Penance Stare.  

2.   She-Hulk now looks ridiculous.  She looks like Lobo from DC comics but painted green.  And she no longer answers to She-Hulk (because acknowledging she’s female and being proud of it is somehow anti-feminist... somehow?  HOW does this make sense!?!?)  Going by “Hulk” just puts her in her cousin’s shadow, something that was the complete antithesis of the character and probably the opposite of what they intended with that stupid name change.

3.   Less than a year ago Marvel promised it would stop doing so many events and now while one event was going on (War of the Vampires) the banner across each cover and on the splash page promoted the upcoming War of the Realms.  It’s literally just one “big” event after another.  The events have lost all means.   Now mere story arc titles are called “events.”   

4.   The cover art is very... boring.  Too many comics are heroes and villains lunging at each other in mid-battle.  It’s stale and uncreative. And I, a fan of Marvel’s horror properties, can barely tell there are vampires in the story. Hell, Dracula’s a key player and he’s not on any of these covers.    

But for all my complaining I did love this storyline.  It was fun.  Dracula was cunning and manipulative.  His bi / pan sexuality isn’t treated like a big deal and felt natural for the character.  And most of it was very well illustrated.  I also like the new costume for Dracula, it looks less like a warrior drow (something I hated since 2010).  and I’m glad to see Dracula in use in Marvel comics now for something other than a mere Halloween event.  And I love the ending with Dracula forming his new kingdom at the end of Avengers, issue 017 (2019).  Just don’t screw it up by mutating them from Chernobyl radiation. That’s stupid and cliche.   In general this was good though, refreshing compared to what Marvel Comics has been these last few years.  

[thelogicalghost]

Hellboy (2019), a review

First, some background.

Hellboy is the title of a comic series centered around the character of the same name. Its core concept is a subversion of the Lovecraft genre: a demon (summoned by Rasputin working with Nazis, for extra evil) destined to bring about the apocalypse who, having been raised by humans, instead travels the world killing other eldritch creatures and preventing dime-a-dozen Lovecraftian apocalypses. Though it's been handled by multiple artists and writers, there's a definitively unique art style and tone that stays constant. Hellboy is a combination of antihero tropes, preferring to shoot things first and ask questions later, although how much his impatience and irreverence may be masking considerable intelligence varies from writer to writer.

In 2004, Guillermo del Toro directed and co-wrote a big-screen adaptation starring Ron Perlman as well as other highly capable actors such as John Hurt and Doug Jones (the latter of who played a fishman who likes to read, and then 13 years later would play another fishman for del Toro). While not perhaps the most faithful adaptation, the 2004 movie got a lot right, and del Toro helmed a sequel in 2008. The movies came just before and after another del Toro classic, Pan's Labyrinth (2006), and the aesthetic and atmospheric similarities do suggest that del Toro was maybe going through a bit of a "fairies but horror" phase. Neither movie was received well at opening, but they've slowly risen in popularity as the comic adaptation genre picks up new converts who now return to these movies and enjoy them as the dark demonic superhero genre-flip that they are.

So now it's 2019, 15 years after del Toro's Hellboy, and with superhero and comic book movies raking in big bucks even on R ratings and nostalgia for del Toro's vision still present, the movie industry has tried to revive the franchise. Kind of.

What this means is that this new movie not only has to adapt one of the trickiest kinds of source material, with a highly stylized feel of its own, but also has to follow two movies made by one of the most incomparable creatives in Hollywood today. Like him or not, del Toro's work is neigh impossible to copy. It also has to recast the equally unique Perlman.

The short version is, it doesn't succeed. Probably no one could have. It has a number of deep flaws, some of which are common to comic adaptations but some not.

I'll start with the plot, because the overall plot is, I think, a strong example of why I had to go through all this background.

The new movie begins with Hellboy as an established character, both to the universe he's in and to the audience, and I liked that. Hellboy's in Tijuana looking for a fellow agent but the rescue is derailed because the agent's been turned into a monster and Hellboy has to kill him. This is classic Hellboy, where all other characters are inevitably killed by the darkness and only the indestructible demon is left to finish the job and move on to the next. Except that Hellboy gets SUPER depressed by the death of this agent, going on a drinking binge for possibly weeks? Unclear dialogue? Anyway, okay, so it's a younger Hellboy. Oh, also, the movie quickly establishes that Professor Broom - Hellboy's dad - is still alive in this movie, and still parental.

This was, to me, the first warning sign. The 2004 movie did the establishing-universe-coming-of-age story, killing off Broom as part of that. So we're resetting the universe, but also not bothering to frame this movie as re-establishing Hellboy's character, assuming that the audience will already be familiar with the basic premise. It wants the easy access of an origin story but also getting to take the shortcut of building off previous incarnations. What that means is that the movie opens with a flashback to Arthurian times to set up the antagonist, but ALSO has to incorporate the re-tread flashback re-establishing Hellboy's origin as a Rasputin/Nazi experiment. We get the awesome sense of worldbuilding with characters who refer to a shared history, but then that history is blatantly exposited or flashbacked. The coming of age narrative has to share screen time and space with a plot that only really works when it's not the first in a series, so plot elements pop up and then are discarded or timing isn't explained or consequences are unclear.

Nowhere is this more keenly felt than in the character of Alice: her introduction is fantastic, implying that years ago when Hellboy saved her as a child they established some sort of relationship that sets up a great sibling dynamic between the two. BUT then in order to explain how a secondary villain is relevant, there's an extended flashback to how he saved her, as a baby, with no indication of further association as she grew up, which completely invalidates the previous worldbuilding and implied relationships.

I don't know exactly where the blame for this falls specifically, but I think it's indicative that the director, Neil Marshall, has to now mostly helmed the kind of blood-filled horror flicks where the quality of the dismembered body props is more important than the quality of the plot. Whether it's his direction, or the direction of producers (there are so many listed in the credits I don't know who to research first) or other creative controllers, it's clear that this new movie is intended as horror first and foremost, a sentiment supported by the excessive screen time devoted to redshirt humans being dismembered with unnecessarily vivid brutality.  This in turn brings with it the hallmarks of cheap horror: ignoring plot for the sake of blood and scares, spelling things out so the audience doesn't have to think and can just mindlessly consume, and generally mishandling pacing and tension because the ending is a foregone conclusion.

I understand WHY someone might get this idea from the del Toro movies, especially since I'm pretty sure the creative team also watched Pan's Labyrinth while putting together specific scenes. Unfortunately it's the most surface-level reading of the movies one could get, and it completely misses the point about what makes Hellboy an interesting character and property. They literally did not have his right hand DOING anything, which showcases how much they missed the point.

However.

Strip away the CGI gore and ham-fisted retreading (and cut the retelling of Broom's death, it would be effortless to replace that subplot), and there's actually a pretty awesome movie hiding underneath.

Someone on the writing staff knew what they were doing. The actors are almost all great. (Seeing Ian McShane as Broom here was weird, but I think that's partially because my feeds have been flooded with American Gods S2 trailers, so I had some strong "the fuck is Wednesday doing here" dissonance.) I love the lack of love triangle and instead the strong teambuilding with sibling-style chemistry with situational allies developing trust through necessity.

The main through-line of the plot is exactly what Hellboy should be: monsters, undead things coming back, an ancient evil threatening to engulf the world in darkness, and a determined attempt by the villain to appeal to Hellboy's demonic nature to draw him to her side. If the movie had been confident enough to position itself as a sequel to the del Toro films, rather than a reboot, the revelation of Hellboy's ancestry would have been a great development of his ironic destiny. 

Just take the secret society set up in the first act. An old boy's club of British gentlemen who ritualistically hunt down undead giants on horseback with electrified lance/spears and mount their heads in a Victorian trophy room? This is the world of Hellboy, absolutely. Love it. Baba Yaga! Bleeding trees! Whatever the hell those throat-ghosts are! A fairy ripping out someone's tongue and putting it in their own mouth in order to speak with the person's voice! Hellboy! (Granted that last point was utterly terrible in the context of the plot, but I already ranted about that.)

The movie is pretty optimistic about setting up further sequels, and while I don't know if the box office and reviews will make a sequel happen, I would love for the seeds planted by the good movie underneath the bad one to be nurtured into an actually good Hellboy movie. It just desperately needs to be taken away from people who prioritize cheap horror and its tropes, and given back to people who understand that Hellboy is a fantasy superhero narrative within a Lovecraft setting, the way that del Toro did. 

[xb-squaredx]

Shiki: Horrible Horror Execution

I’m not usually one for horror, and I don’t consume nearly as much anime as I used to, but I happened upon the horror anime Shiki with some friends some time ago. Essentially a vampire tale in a rural Japan village, Shiki is notable for being a fairly competent horror series that has some of the more bizarre creative decisions I’ve seen in some time, resulting in a series that is constantly trying to be scary, but more often than not ended up making us laugh. I’d like to go into why this series is entertaining…for all the wrong reasons, so join me below the break.

I can break down Shiki’s fatal flaws as a horror series with one word: presentation. If just a few things could be changed with the show, I think it’d manage to be something I could really recommend to people, at least under the premise of this being a scary show. Presentation can take on many forms; from writing to character design to music…and almost every facet of the show has some strange decisions that were made during production that ultimately work against it.

I’ll start small and nitpick the soundtrack for the series. In all honesty, most of the OST is pretty haunting, good at building up suspense and generating tension. That is with the exception of “Muddy Water,” a title that feels more at home in a rave than a horror series.

Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but beat boxing just doesn’t really sell me on horror. This song pops up frequently enough that it constantly takes me out of the moment, and I honestly question why this song was included. It’s like the dubstep included in Parasyte: The Maxim, being so jarring in a way I’m sure wasn’t intended. Considering a lot of the music has vocals, maybe this was intended to be unnerving, like hearing whispers in the dark but not being able to make out what is being said, but in execution it seems more like the show wants you to get up and dance.

A much more serious concern comes from the general character designs of the show. Speaking frankly…most of the cast looks utterly stupid. I know anime is no stranger to strange hairstyles and colors, but they really stand out in Shiki and never fail to ruin the mood. 

Be it Ritsuko’s bizarre spiraling ponytail, or Tatsumi’s cat ears, a great many characters have ridiculous hair. I could maybe excuse it if it was purely a thing the vampires have, a sign that they’re inhuman, but this seems to be par the course for the cast. It isn’t just hair either; a lot of the cast is just…comically ugly. Shinmei Muroi stands out, looking more ghastly than most of the vampires, but there’s also Ikumi, believed by many in the village to be crazy and she certainly looks the part. I’m not saying you have to have a cast filled with only beautiful people, but I feel after a certain point characters start looking like caricatures of characters than anything else, overly exaggerated. This also extends to costumes for the vampires, for whatever reason. There’s the ludicrous amount of outfits Megumi is seen wearing in the series, to the point that scenes taking place over a single day can have her in multiple outfits. Factor in weird things like Natsuno’s bright pink shoes, or the “outfit” Chizuru wears that can be described only as strips of orange tape and you’re left with a cast that looks more like clowns than vampires. I mean, can ANYONE even defend this outfit Tatsumi wears apropos of nothing?

I didn’t think so. It’s sad, as without all that, the vampires in Shiki can be pretty unnerving. Sunako, the “face” of the series, looks like a creepy doll in most appearances, and the image of blood red eyes just barely visible in the darkness set up some decent shots in the series in its early episodes. Much like the shark in Jaws, the monsters are just scarier when we can’t really see them that well.

Lastly, one of the problems with Shiki, near the end at least, is its attempt to make its monsters sympathetic and propose the eye-rolling idea that “humans are the REAL monsters!” I’m not saying that can’t be done well, but Shiki…really doesn’t do it very well. The bulk of the series builds the vampires up as killing machines that stalk people and view them as food, and then when humans get wind of them and fight back, suddenly the shiki are in the right and should be pitied. But a lot of wind is taken out of this argument’s sails when you realize that the Shiki attack first, they never really try to be diplomatic, and apparently are incapable of spreading out their feedings enough so that their targets don’t die of blood loss. Now sure, the humans are capable of a great many cruelties near the end of the series, but not without some justification. Viewers watch as villagers get picked off one by one for around twenty episodes, and when they fight back, it feels triumphant, but the series tries to frame it as tragic and I just can’t buy it. Maybe if the Shiki were humanized more from the start, rather than lurking in the shadows for a good part of the series, I’d feel differently, but the attempt at moral ambiguity just comes off as ham-fisted.

I’ll close here with the reminder that I was certainly entertained by Shiki a lot. It’s filled with memorable scenes and characters…the problem is that they’re memorable for all the wrong reasons. When it wants to, Shiki can be a decent slow-burning vampire romp, but all too often it becomes too absurd to take seriously. It’s meant to be a dramatic, horror story, but it comes off more as a horror comedy to me. I’m still a little split on recommending this, honestly. If you like straight horror, you might wind up disappointed with all these issues I outlined above, but it was a fun show to riff on with friends, and the fact that we rode it out until the end has to say something about it. There are some genuinely interesting ideas present here, some interesting characters and a lot of potential…it just would have been nice to see the series rise to meet that potential more consistently.

Until next time,

-B

[aion-rsa]

The Last Podcast on the Left Comes to DC Horror Comics

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Edgar Wiggins is a Soul Plumber, and the hero of the new DC Horror title of the same name, created by The Last Podcast on the Left trio of Ben Kissel, Marcus Parks, and Henry Zebrowski. The enormously successful podcast, now available exclusively on Spotify, combines comedy and high strangeness for deep dives into the paranormal, ufology, dark history, and true crime.

And with Soul Plumber, the deep dives continue by — as Zebrowski describes him — a tolerant and pure-hearted “wet Chihuahua” of a man driven by a sincere belief in a loving God, but is just too weird to fit in anywhere. The gas station attendant builds a pirated version of a machine intended to deliver souls from Satan, but ends up getting more than he bargains for when he goes after a demon. 

While an original concept, the second title from the new DC imprint draws from older, weirder podcast episodes involving demonic possession cases and alien abductions involving arcane religious imagery. Soul Plumber is accessible to audiences unfamiliar with the show, but will go deeper into layers of esoterica than even die-hard LPOTL fans have previously encountered. 

But how did these swearing, R-rated creators connect with DC in the first place? Kissel, Parks, and Zebrowski briefly weigh in.

What was the initial meeting with DC like? Did you ask if they even listen to your podcast, and if they’re sure they were ready for you guys?

Ben Kissel: I used to think that we were like, ‘Whoa, that might be a little far.’ We’re just mainstream at this point. In many ways. The fact that they would come to us and ask us and talk with us about that. It was awesome. At this point I feel like everyone else is able to pervert the minds of our, of our youth. So at least we can try to right some of those wrongs.

Henry Zebrowski: DC called for the meeting and we’re like, we’ll go see what this is. Show business is just a fun experience. You know why show business is fun? Because you’re always screaming. It is like an amusement park. You are just always upset and screaming, and it’s fun.

Sometimes a big company comes to you and says, ‘We want you to do something.’ You put together all of this stuff for them. And then you show them everything and they go, ‘Actually, nevermind, we don’t like you anymore.’ And then they disappear into the night. You just get the vacuum of space from them, which is really very scary in a way that someone could disappear so fast. But with DC, they came to us to do this project and it was really very nice to hear them like our ideas. 

Marcus Parks: I grew up on Vertigo. All those books are the ones that blew my mind. Preacher, Sandman, Y the Last Man, Fables, I could go on and on about how many great books came out. The Filth! Nothing gets weirder than The Filth. All of these great, weird books came out on Vertigo. So, when DC got a hold of us, we were like, this is pretty cool.

The Last Podcast on the Left is huge with this dedicated fanbase, but you’re now operating within the DC machine. What’s the balance there, and what’s in it for LPOTL listeners versus folks who just want to pick up a horror comic?

Henry Zebrowski: That was a big part of the original breakout of the idea of trying to figure out what idea we were going to write, because we really wanted to write something that encapsulated a lot of what we cover on Last Podcast, but also would be an exciting horror story.

If you know all of the bullshit from all of the years of listening to us, or your own adventures into the world of the paranormal and the occult and dark history, you would see references throughout the book. There’s little Last Podcast inside jokes in the book, but the rest of it is something that would entertain us. And we hope it is also a very unique idea. I have never read what we’re writing before, and I think it’s going to be very interesting.

Marcus Parks: The very original idea came from me going back and reading a bunch of scripts from old episodes … ideas that were a little stranger, and aren’t what you would call the fan favorite episodes. The weirder episodes.

Part of it came from the Michael Taylor possession story back in the seventies when a guy believed he was possessed by the devil. He ripped his wife to shreds with his bare hands. And the other part of it is it also came from the Andreasson Affair, which is one of our like deep cut alien episodes, about a woman who believed she had an alien abduction, and the abduction was full of old, old Christian imagery. But she would have no idea that it ever actually existed. All these ideas kind of came together, percolated and created Soul Plumber.

Kissel: Our fan base has been so unbelievable in allowing us to explore different talents. The fact DC even came to us is a testament to how sticky and great, and sticky in a positive way, our fan base is. They show up for the things that we do.

Has there been a moment where DC became concerned you went too far, and something had to be cut?

Parks: It didn’t get cut, they just said, but they told us we have to run this by legal. That’s only happened once though. And we had not heard back yet,

Kissel: We don’t show any nipples because you’re not allowed to show nipples, but you can show a lot of violence.

Zebrowski: We’ve been very transparent about the fact that we’re an R-rated show and we make R-rated content … Everybody at DC seems to be into what we’re doing. And it’s kind of nice that it worked out like this because that’s like five percent of the time [in the entertainment world].

Was there a conversation about you using established DC characters?

Zebrowski: We had options to use DC characters … so we’re looking through their IP, and we’re like, we’re not really sure what to do here because there’s also a lot of baggage. They said you could use anything you want in our library. And we kind of were like, ‘I don’t know if you want us to do anything we want.’

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Parks: I’m actually a big DC guy. I’m a huge fan of even the more optimistic of deep storylines. But I could not see myself sitting down and explaining the history of Ted Grant to Henry and Ben, and telling them this is what this character would do, this is what this character wouldn’t do. It would have just been too much of a headache to try to write those characters. But in our own standalone universe, which we have created this little universe, we can do whatever we want in this. And there are no limits whatsoever. Aside from no nipples. 

Soul Plumber is out from DC Horror on Oct. 5.

The post The Last Podcast on the Left Comes to DC Horror Comics appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[eddycurrents]

For the week of 9 April 2018

Quick Bits:

Animosity: Evolution #5 gets to the heart of the criminal enterprise undermining Wintermute’s authority, operating the black market, and what they’ve been trying to accomplish. This arc has definitely been interesting so far, showing that the animal organizations aren’t really all too different from their human counterparts.

| Published by AfterShock

Avengers #688 raises the stakes higher as we speed towards the conclusion of “No Surrender”. While the Challenger flips the table on the game, this issue takes its perspective from Quicksilver, setting up the next stage for his forthcoming Quicksilver: No Surrender limited series.

| Published by Marvel

Barbarella #5 tosses in some more weird science as Barbarella and Vix go prospecting for RUST.

| Published by Dynamite

Bloodshot Salvation #8 begins to marry up the timelines, such that the present is becoming the “soon” timeline that began in the first issue, as Bloodshot travels through the Deadside and we find out how he got tossed into the future. It’s interesting to see how Jeff Lemire’s non-linear threads have been playing out through the story.

| Published by Valiant

Brothers Dracul #1 reunites the team of Cullen Bunn and Mirko Colak, having recently completed the Unholy Grail series, here for an interesting take on the Vlad Tepes story and the Dracula myth. Bunn takes a different approach to the myth, rooting it in much of the recorded history of Vald, his family, and Wallachia under Ottoman rule and it results in a much more grounded story. At least for the first issue. The art from Colak, with colours by Maria Santaolalla, is also great.

| Published by AfterShock

Captain America #700 is Chris Samnee’s last issue on the series, and the last of his work at Marvel for the time being, and he sure does go out with a bang. Samnee and Mark Waid stitch up a conclusion to the Cap in the future arc, although there are some interesting ramifications of the story to unpack, including presenting an idea of the futility of hope. That’s probably bleaker than the creative team necessarily intended it to be read as.

| Published by Marvel

Champions #19 begins the next chapter in the team’s chronicles, with Jim Zub and Sean Izaakse taking over as the new creative team. The art from Izaakse and colourist Marcio Menyz is wonderful throughout, including some great character designs. It’s also interesting to see how Zub has the team approaching new recruits like Ironheart as they try to figure out how the new pieces fit.

| Published by Marvel

Cold War #3 dives into the past of two survivors this time, giving us a look into the history and personalities of LQ and Johnny. Even as the latter fights for relevance and control in the present, seemingly unable to accept the leadership of Vinh or her attempts to protect everyone remaining. Then Christopher Sebela drops another bomb on us as to the state of this future.

| Published by AfterShock

Crude #1 is an interesting beginning, setting up a bit of a mystery involving the death of the son of a former Russian agent, as he gets dragged back into a seedy, harsh existence to hunt down his son’s murderers. Steve Orlando begins this first issue mostly as set-up, flashing back through both Piotr and, his son, Kiril’s lives before getting us to the main plot and arrival at the setting, and source for the title.

| Published by Image / Skybound

The Dead Hand #1 is an impressive debut, capturing perfectly the intrigue and action of a Cold War thriller, matched with the bleakness of more modern interpretations of Russia and a twist that you’ll never see coming. Kyle Higgins’ Image outings tend to be wonderful reads, like COWL and Hadrian’s Wall, and this series seems no different so far. It’s also great to see Stephen Mooney providing the line art here, his style is perfectly suited to spy and thriller stories, especially as coloured here by Jordie Bellaire.

| Published by Image

Deadly Class #33 continues to tear everything down, blow everything up, or beat it into a bloody pulp. Nothing seems to be safe. Rick Remender and Wes Craig seem intent on putting everyone through the wringer, and Craig (with colours from Jordan Boyd) is reminding everyone why he’s one of the best artists working in comics today.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Doctor Strange #388 is another integral part of the Damnation event, diving into Strange’s possession and what’s going on with the other fallen heroes current plaguing Vegas at Mephisto’s behest. The story from Donny Cates is good, weird, and has Niko Henrichon at the very top of his game.

| Published by Marvel

Domino #1 is damn great. In some ways, it feels like old home week, as Gail Simone brings back some of the characters and stylistic quirks from her time writing Deadpool and Agent X, complete with the humour, action, and absurdity, but at the same time, this feels fresh. It’s not as over the top as the other two outings and it makes for what feels to me like a better story. It also makes the humour pop a bit more as it feels natural. Also, the art from David Baldeón and Jesus Aburtov is gorgeous. Baldeón surprised me with how great his art has become on Spirits of Vengeance and here he’s bringing it to an even higher level. This first issue is fun and comes very recommended.

| Published by Marvel

Dry County #2 sets up the mystery. After being embroiled in Janet’s life as a kind of sad sack saviour in the first issue, Lou gets his hopes dashed by her kidnapping this issue. If it follows traditional Miami Noir themes, I have my suspicions about it, but here Rich Tommaso plays it straight and uses it to start Lou down the path to find out what happened to her.

| Published by Image

Exiles #1 begins a gathering the team arc, as Blink is drafted back into the multiverse-saving business by the reappearance of the Tallus and the Unseen’s premonitions of the white fire of nothingness caused by the Time Eater. Saladin Ahmed does a great job of playing with Exiles history and Marvel ephemera in constructing this first issue, but the real star is the artwork. Javier Rodríguez is one of Marvel’s underrated talents who really should be heralded as a superstar. Here, he, Álvaro López, and Jordie Bellaire make this issue one of the most visually interesting on the stands, with great page layouts, interesting panel transitions, phenomenal use of page for storytelling effect, and unique character designs. This is a great start and I’m dying to see more.  

| Published by Marvel

Gideon Falls #2 continues a slow burn through the story, focusing on both Norton and Father Fred’s experiences with the black barn, and the world beyond them not believing their respective stories. It’s a common horror and mystery thread, but it’s still interesting how Jeff Lemire is framing the narrative and building the characters through the dialogue. Also, the art from Andrea Sorrentino and Dave Stewart continues to be amazing. 

| Published by Image

Ninja-K #6 plays with a number of the messes that have yet to be cleaned up across the Valiant universe. It’s interesting to see Christos Gage play with the toys, with visceral art from Juan José Ryp and Jordie Bellaire.

| Published by Valiant

No. 1 With a Bullet #6 is a brilliant end to what has been an excellent series. Jacob Semahn, Jorge Coello, and Jen Hickman have a story here that is relevant in today’s society obsessed with social media, and delves deep into what can happen when that obsession turns deadly and debilitating. There’s one last twist this issue and the art, especially as it simulates the current state of Nash’s eyesight, is amazing. I highly recommend this series.

| Published by Image

Oblivion Song #2 fleshes out a bit more what happened from Earth’s perspective on the day that parts of Philadelphia fell into Oblivion. It’s interesting to see it unfold, especially in relation to the two recent survivors who came back. It’s slow going, and there are oblique character moments, but it’s enthralling.

| Published by Image

The October Faction: Supernatural Dreams #2 sees the summoned demon wandering around, causing havoc, raising hell. Oh, and Geoff and Vivian get their butts handed to them.

| Published by IDW

Prism Stalker #2, like the first issue, is very, very strange. On the one hand, it’s presented and illustrated by Sloane Leong as this surrealist weird comic that almost defies classification. Kind of like some of the silent indie comics out there that are more experienced than “read”. On the other hand, the story Leong presents is fairly mundane, one of coming of age in what appears to be an oppressive alien society. I’m not really sure what to make of it still, but it has my attention.

| Published by Image

ROM & The Micronauts #4 gets the full band back together in our world as the final battle against Baron Karza and the Dire Wraiths looms on the horizon. Christos Gage waxes philosophical on physical and emotional change, and how love will find a way in strange cases, but what’s really pushing us towards the final battle is the promise of raising the Lovecraftian monstrosity at the heart of the Earth.

| Published by IDW

Sleepless #5 works further on the intrigue going on, revealing that some of the plots may not have been put into motion by who we may have be led to believe previously.

| Published by Image

Sword of Ages #3 has the crap hit the fan. Some of the political machinations come to a head and it’s all pretty glorious. Gabriel Rodríguez is telling an incredible story here, adapting Arthurian legend in a very unique way.

| Published by IDW

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #81 is a densely packed narrative, picking up on the threads from the recently concluded Triceratons arc, the running undercurrent of Splinter’s ideas for the Foot Clan, while also spilling out the return of the Rat King after TMNT Universe #19. There’s a lot going on, but I’d argue that Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, and Tom Waltz make it accessible and interesting. Aiding in that effort is phenomenal art from Dave Wachter and Ronda Pattison.

| Published by IDW

Thanos #18 concludes “Thanos Wins” and with it this chapter of the Mad Titan’s adventures (apart from a forthcoming annual in a couple of weeks). This issue is big and epic and has a very interesting ending. Donny Cates, Geoff Shaw, and Antonio Fabela have outdone themselves.

| Published by Marvel

Vs. #3 gets a look at the ruling class in this world, trying to figure out why Flynn’s ratings remain high despite him continuing to suffer losses. It’s a little dry, but it does set up some further conflict between Flynn and Devi, and continues to draw some beautiful art from Esad Ribić.

| Published by Image

X-Men Blue #25 gives us a main story with Magneto’s confrontation of Miss Sinister and her allies, while Polaris and the other remaining X-Men lick their wounds in Madripoor. There’s also a back-up that serves as a bridge between the “Poison X” and Venomized stories for the original five and Venom, with some really nice art by Mike Perkins and Andy Troy.

| Published by Marvel

X-Men Red #3 gives some more oblique hints at what’s really going on, as anti-mutant hysteria begins reaching critical mass and attacks, protests, and riots begin to spill over. Tom Taylor is aptly using parallels to current events across America and the world here and it makes it a bit scarier.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Algeria is Beautiful Like America, The Archies #6, Astonisher #6, The Beauty #21, Ben Reilly: The Scarlet Spider #17, The Despicable Deadpool #298, DuckTales #8, Eternal Empire #8, Falcon #7, Ghost Money #9, James Bond: Casino Royale, Minky Woodcock: The Girl Who Handcuffed Houdini #4, Old Man Logan #38, Planets of the Apes: Ursus #4, Resident Alien: An Alien in New York #1, Rick Veitch’s The One #3, Rose #10, Shock, Spider-Man vs. Deadpool #31, Star Wars: Darth Vader #14, Star Wars: Thrawn #3, Tomb Raider: Survivor’s Crusade #4, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #31, Venomized #2

Recommended Collections: Aliens/Predator/Prometheus: Fire & Stone, Cable - Volume 2: Newer Mutants, Clover Honey, Coyotes - Volume 1, Deadpool vs. Old Man Logan, DuckTales: Mysteries and Mallards, Family Trade - Volume 1, Jean Grey - Volume 2: Final Fight, Lazarus X+66, Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man - Volume 2: Most Wanted, Rock Candy Mountain - Volume 2, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Volume 5: Arms Race, TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo - Expanded Edition, Transformers: Till All Are One - Volume 3, The Unbelievable Gwenpool - Volume 5: Lost in the Plot, Underwhere

d. emerson eddy tried to make a souffle a few days ago. It fell.

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/07/21/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-72117/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 7/21/17

I haven’t been doing such a great job with my movie tally for 2017. We’re more than halfway through the year, and I’ve barely watched anything. Well, I kinda made up for that last weekend, as I caught Keeping Up With The Joneses on HBO. This is one of those movies that came and went, and might find a fan base on TV, but will probably just be forgotten. If it should be remembered for anything, it’s that it features both Gal Gadot and Isla Fisher in lingerie. That’s about all it’s got going for it. What’s it about? Well, Isla Fisher and Zack Galifianakis star as a milquetoast suburbanite couple who become suspicious of their new neighbors, Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot. So, they’re pushed out of their comfort zone when they find out Hamm and Gadot are spies, and they get wrapped up in their latest mission. This is the kind of movie I would’ve killed a chunk of a Saturday afternoon on had it aired on Fox 5, but I can understand why nobody went to see it in theaters. Folks loved Don Draper, but for whatever reason, they have no desire to help along Jon Hamm’s movie career. And this was pre-Wonder Woman Gadot, so there was no heat on her yet. It doesn’t suck, but it’s got no Wow Factor either. Once it hits FX, it might be a good way to waste away a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I finally got around to watching The Nice Guys, too. I’d tried a few months ago, but I only got as far as the Ryan Gosling fully clothed in the bathtub scene, where I went, “What the eff am I watching?” I wasn’t ready for the absurd that night, but I was ready now. Like everyone had told me, it was really good. I still have trouble with heist/mystery films because my brain doesn’t work as fast as the film, so sometimes I have to reflect back on the thing when it’s over just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Ryan Gosling is a private investigator who teams up with local tough guy Russell Crowe to track down a missing girl. Sure, there’s some stuff about porn, and the Detroit auto lobby, but that’s the gist of the movie. It’s got a precocious kid, a cool 70s aesthetic, and titties. Can’t really hate on any of that. Anyway, I could see this as one of those movies I drop everything to watch whenever I see that it’s on. If you haven’t seen it, definitely check it out.

My new favorite reality show debuted this week on Bravo, called A Night With My Ex. It’s just what the title says: a former couple spends the night together to see if the spark is still there and/or to reopen old wounds. In the premiere, 28 year old virgin Rachel is reunited to smarmy douchebag ex-boyfriend Fabian. They dated for four years, but he cheated on her with a sexy Tinkerbell at a Halloween party because he had a major case of blue balls. When the show starts, you don’t think Fabian is really that bad of a guy. He knows he made a mistake, and he even plans to propose to Rachel because he wants her in his life forever. But things go south quickly. He chastises her for scraping her plate with her fork as she eats, and he tries to make her give him a handjob once they’re in bed. All the while, she’s trying to actually apologize for basically pushing him to cheat by withholding sex, but he never lets her get a word out before saying/doing something stupid. Finally she declares that she deserves better than him, and basically laughs in his face when he proposes. That was some damn good television! If anything, I’d say the show is too short at 30 minutes, but they only spend one night together, and not the whole weekend, so I guess that’s all they could edit together. It’s a lot like MTV’s old show, The X Effect, only the couple’s current partners aren’t spying on the date like they were in that show. Anyway, it’s only been one episode, but I count me in for the next nine!

In TV news, it was announced that Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have lined up their post-GoT project, Confederate, which is an alternate history series set prior to the United States’ 3rd Civil War. Well, this rang some alarm bells for some folks, as you can’t really get into the Confederacy and Civil War without dealing with slavery. And folks weren’t really happy about these White showrunners making what some considered to be “slavery fanfic”. What hasn’t been covered extensively, though, is that the project is really just coasting on the fact that the GoT showrunners are attached, but they’re not the only ones involved. Husband-wife team of Malcolm Spellman and Nichelle Tramble Spellman , who are Black, will be partners on the show along with Benioff and Weiss. Plus, the show it’s so deep in its infancy that there aren’t even character names or an outline yet. It was originally developed as a two-hour movie, but they decided it could be fleshed out and taken to television. There’s basically nothing on paper for it yet, though, so there’s not much for folks to be upset about at this stage other than mere speculation. The Spellmans acknowledge the criticism, but say that they’d rather it had followed the premiere of the show instead of starting now, as it’s being announced. At this point, I think it’s safe to say that this criticism will go into shaping the show going forward, so we may never get what they originally intended to put out.

We got a new trailer for Marvel’s Inhumans. Still looks like garbage. I’ve loved Iwan Rheon since Misfits, but I can’t follow him here. This just looks so bad. Look, I’m gonna watch it, but I really don’t see how there’s any damn way I’m paying for an IMAX ticket to see it in theaters.

We also got a new teaser for The Defenders, which teases the Punisher series at the end. People are going nuts online about this thing because it’s narrated by Stan Lee, but I actually think he’s tonally wrong for this clip. When I think of Stan, I think of his marquee, larger than life characters – NOT the street-level vigilantes. I almost feel like it would’ve been better narrated by Bendis or Brubaker, but they don’t have the recognition factor that Stan has. I get that. Still, it just feels like a hollow waste of a cameo.

 Things You Might Have Missed This Week

The good Lord answered my prayers, as Chris Hardwick and Comedy Central have “mutually decided” to end @midnight. I won’t miss his smarmy face or those stupid hashtag games.

I guess the third time’s the charm, as Paige Davis will start her 3rd hosting stint on Trading Spaces when it returns to TLC later this year

Ed Sheeran was on Game of Thrones this week, and I guess some folks didn’t like that. I dunno. I kinda couldn’t care less about Sheeran or GoT, but folks were hatin’!

Meanwhile, it was reported that Lena Dunham will join American Horror Story for season 7, and folks lost their shit about that, too. Apparently she’ll only be in one episode, but that was enough for some folks to claim they weren’t gonna watch anymore.

Transformers: Titans Return will debut in November as an animated micro series on the Go90 app, featuring the voices of Green Ranger Jason David Frank and the original Rodimus Prime himself, Judd Nelson.

MTV is in talks to reboot Teen Wolf before this iteration’s final season has even concluded. Slow it down!

Sega broke up with Archie Comics over Twitter, thereby ending the Sonic The Hedgehog comic after 24 years of publication

Seacrest IN! Ryan Seacrest has officially signed on to host ABC’s revival of American Idol. I feel like I’ve written this sentence 3 times in the past already, but now it’s for real for real.

Coming as no real surprise since The Vampire Diaries ended, The CW announced that its spinoff, The Originals, will end after its upcoming season.

In an odd choice, the directors of the original Catfish documentary (the movie, not the show) are in talks talks to helm a Mega Man film that will be produced by Masi Oka of Heroes fame.

Words with Friends is being developed into a television game show. Ya know, so it’s basically the Scrabble game show being rebooted.

Meanwhile on Black Twitter, R. Kelly is allegedly running a sex cult, Usher paid a woman $1.1 million for her to keep quiet about the fact that he gave her herpes, and Kevin Hart allegedly got caught cheating on his pregnant wife. I’m just waiting for some crazy Steve Harvey news to round out the week.

At San Diego Comic Con, MGM announced Stargate Origins, which appears to be a prequel webseries that will run on the Stargate Command website this fall.

Shazam! will be the next DC film to go into production, following Justice League and Aquaman, but it’s unclear if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will co-star as Black Adam.

There might soon be a new Cutco salesman on the block, as OJ Simpson has been granted parole from the armed robbery that landed him in prison nine years ago. The Juice is almost loose!

I love those weeks when the West Week Ever recipient presents itself early in the week, ’cause it’s pretty much smooth sailing after that. This was one of those weeks, as history was made across the pond. The Doctor Who franchise is over 50 years old, but every time the Doctor regenerates (a clever in-story mechanism for recasting the actor), he just turns into another White dude. That’s pretty much been the unending pattern since 1966, when the first regeneration occurred. Folks have been saying it’s time for a change, and they were hoping we’d either end up with a Doctor of color (with The IT Crowd‘s Richard Ayoade coming up in a lot of the discussions) or a woman Doctor. Well, half of them got their wish, as Attack the Block‘s Jodie Whittaker was announced as the 13th Doctor. And, as you’re probably not surprised, folks lost their shit.

We’re always taught the the Brits are so proper and upstanding, but the comments sections of several sites proved that they can troll with the best of them. At the end of the day, it’s a bunch of folks who are afraid of change. A friend of mine, however, did point out that the victors in these circumstances also tend to trigger the backlash against themselves. For example, it would be one thing if this was seen as a bold move forward for a progressive franchise. The problem, however, is that some people take it too far, and get on the “I’m savoring these fanboy tears” soapbox, making it about something that it really didn’t need to devolve into. Sometimes the winners can suck just as much as the losers in these scenarios. This can be seen as a “win” for some without it being a “loss” for someone else. How about framing it as a win for everyone? Nah, the internet doesn’t really work like that.

I have never gotten into the Doctor Who franchise because it just seems so daunting. Sure, folks claim you really only have to start with the Eccleston season, but when I get into something, I go ALL IN. To me, that’s like telling someone they can start Star Trek with The Next Generation (which I’d probably do, since I hate The Original Series, even though I’d still feel like I was cheating them out of an experience). I feel like I’d have to watch all 54 years of the show, which is impossible because those seasons ain’t streaming anywhere, and a good chunk of them have been lost to time. It’s a franchise that cannot be wholly consumed! I hate mysteries that can’t be solved. Still, I can respect a longstanding institution, and I understand when change is a big deal. It’ll be interesting to see how fans take to the new Doctor, but the one thing to remember is that she’ll probably do it for 2 years, and then regenerate into another old White guy (the Doctor role has the retention rate of a community college). So, everyone gets their wish! I am kinda curious about the next season, though, as rumor has it Kris Marshall (Colin: God of Sex from Love Actually) is going to be the Doctor’s next companion. I loved that dude!

Anyway, I know which side of history I want to be on, and it’ll be interesting to see this all play out. The way the franchise works, we won’t see her until the Christmas special, and then won’t see her again until late 2018 at the earliest. So, folks have got some time to get used to the idea. Still, I think it goes without saying that Jodie Whittaker had the West Week Ever.

[bikiniarmorbattledamage]

But is it really porn?

So now and again we get people insist that x title shouldn’t be counted because it’s intended to be viewed as porn (especially if that product is from a country outside the English speaking world... because reasons).

Reasons for this assumption often include:

The presence of explicit fan service or sex scenes

The inclusion of ridiculous double standards

Fans having labelled it as an erotic product on their own wikis

The publisher having actual porn products in their catalog

But generally this just assumes that by shoehorning in some sexualized content a product immediately becomes excluded from criticism.  Very few products exclude all content from their own genre (plenty of action movies have a romantic subplot for example).

Generally a lot of the cross genre trends have a pretty basic premise behind them, it helps improve the audience investment:

Comic relief in horror and thriller helps avoid the audience becoming desensitized or burnt out from the tension

Having a love interest can humanize a protagonist (or an antagonist) and increase your ability to get invested in them

Mixing a little mystery with your modern fantasy story reminds the audience of how little we really notice or know about the world around us and makes them more accepting to the idea of secret magic

So, what purpose does having ultrasexualized costumes for female characters and regular arbitrary fan service?  Well, mostly it’s because of the general belief that certain demographics need a lot of reassurance that some products are okay for them, and in fact made exclusively for them:

It’s been covered before, but I really feel the need to restate that the main reason for this is a very simple reasoning: x genre is a for (straight cis) men so we need to market exclusively to them and make sure they know we’re doing it (even if they think it’s already being overdone and kind of insulting).

(Evidence suggests this works... but only in the sense that it does make a lot of people think that the product is not for them and hence don’t buy it. Or just have more fun mocking it than they’d have playing it.)

That’s not to say that there aren’t products or stories where including sexual content gives it a boost, but generally you’ll want to do it in a way that makes sense and does actually improve the product and that still doesn’t make it porn.

You can physically eat a lot of things, but just as you wouldn’t call it food unless you buy it specifically to eat it, you shouldn’t call it porn unless you buy it specifically for sexual gratification.

- wincenworks

[thisiscomics]

One of Clive Barker’s Razorline comics- a line advertised as superheroes from the mind of the famous horror writer, but I’m not sure that is a particularly accurate description, genre-wise- Hokum & Hex was an enjoyable story of a loser turned magician.

You see elements of the intended superhero part of the universe through the character’s interaction with the team known as the Hyperkind (stars of another Razorline title), and in this flashback we are told something of the heroes of the past, the Paxis, broadly analogous to the Captain America/Invaders WWII stories but made infinitely darker due to this panel. There are echoes of Bucky Barnes in the ‘orphan becomes sidekick to Nazi-fighting heroes’ idea, but the details of that orphan’s experience seem much closer to the horror of a Clive Barker novel than a superhero comic aiming for mass market appeal. (I assume this was the target audience since this wasn’t a mature readers line, although it did feel like the titles could perhaps have been intended to aim to fill a gap between all ages superheroes and more adult-oriented fare, but then the insistence these were superhero titles suggests that perhaps Marvel wasn’t quite sure how to market the line after they had launched it.)

The notion that the military recruit a Jewish orphan as a PR exercise, essentially treating his ethnicity as a resource- first as a symbol of US military might protecting the Jews from Hitler, and then as a translator for the heroes as they liberate a concentration camp- is pretty unpleasant, and more disturbing than the suggestions of child endangerment that are occasionally raised in connection to Bucky.

As well as the continued attempts to persuade the readers that this was a superhero comic, there were also strange references in the letters pages to the title- as another aspect of trying to define what the comic was, it appears that the title was problematic. People wanted to know who both Hokum and Hex were, as though the title were referring to a double act, rather than (I assume) the nature of the protagonist. It was interesting to read about this, both because it gives some insight into the difficulties of marketing new ideas in a market that doesn’t seem to deal with innovation very well (certainly at the time of publication- there has been some improvement since then), and because it felt refreshingly honest, looking for the reader’s assistance in helping sales without any bullshit. Of course, the line didn’t last very long after all, so we would never see how these sales problems would be addressed, or what else was waiting in Barker’s mind to take four colour form in his own comic universe, unfortunately.

From Hokum & Hex 4, by Frank Lovece, Anthony Williams, Andy Lanning & Maria Parwulski

[netunleashed-blog]

40 best PC games: the must-play titles you can't afford to miss

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=15147 40 best PC games: the must-play titles you can't afford to miss - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=15147 Now that people can actually afford the best graphics cards again, we can’t think of a better time to dive into the best PC games. Perhaps you’ve heard all the hype around Far Cry 5 and World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth and you want to see what all the fuss is about. So, let this be your introduction.We took the liberty of gathering 40 of the best PC games we’ve played over the years – you really need to try all of these fantastic titles out for yourself. Even if a few of the best PC games will require a keyboard and mouse, many of the best PC games can be played with a controller, if that’s more your style. You should also keep in mind that many of the games on this list are also available on Xbox One, PS4 or even Nintendo Switch – just in case you haven’t joined the PC gaming movement yet.If you’re a newcomer to PC gaming, we’d like to extend you a warm welcome. As we intend to demonstrate with this list, PC gamers don’t need to be the elitist gatekeepers we’re unfortunately stereotyped to be. We here at TechRadar believe in inclusivity – so that’s why we ranked the best PC games you can play today – so anyone can get in on the magic. Gabe Carey and Bill Thomas have also contributed to this article If you ask someone who was building PCs in the early 2010s, they’ll likely tell you the premier game to benchmark your new gaming rig with was either Metro 2033 or Metro: Last Light. And, if you missed out on those exciting times, you’re in luck, as this PC-centric shooter series will be pushing yet another generation of PCs when Metro Exodus launches later this year – and we’re expecting to see exactly when at E3 2018 next month.Forgoing the cramped metro tunnels of the first two titles, Metro Exodus will instead focus on the surface, offering players large areas to explore – without sacrificing the tension that the previous games’ linearity allowed. This game is sure to be one of the most beautiful games when it eventually launches. Unfortunately, it was just pushed back to 2019, so we’ll have to wait just a bit longer to get our hands on it.Expected: 2019 Beautiful visuals? Check. Huge explorable world? Check. Enthralling combat? Duh. The Witcher 3 stands tall as one of the most ambitious open world RPGs to date, combining Skyrim’s unrestrained grandiosity with Grand Theft Auto 5’s scale. While it’s been criticised for its inventory system and not quite matching the graphics shown in its promo materials, it’s so ambitious and jam-packed with detail that the package more than lives up to the hype. Huge, beautiful and an absolute time-sink, The Witcher 3 isn’t just the best PC game, it’s one of the best games period. Dragon Age: Inquisition, while not perfect, places you in the midst of a huge, vibrant world on a much larger scale than past Dragon Age titles. Packed with hours of engrossing story and a wealth of side content, Dragon Age: Inquisition brings the series to an open world setting in a smart and compelling way. If you want an idea of what this game is like, take the Elder Scrolls and combine it with Baldur’s Gate, and you have a pretty good idea.  Inspired by, and made from the same developers as, World of Warcraft, Hearthstone is easy to learn, but hard to master. Like it’s big MMO sibling, Hearthstone combines classes, characters and a bit of random fortune when pitting you against either AI or online opponents. Stick with it and you’ll not just get rewarded by improved skill, but by in-game rewards as well. Keep in mind that while its accessibility is addictive, you shouldn’t expect to be a world-class Hearthstone champion overnight. Practice makes perfect, after all.  Read: Hearthstone arrives on iPad, but it is better on tablet or PC? Although it's arguably not as difficult as previous entries in the series, From Software's Dark Souls 3 takes everything you like about the Souls series and combines it with elements found in Bloodborne, the developer's more recent game for PS4.We’re not going to lie – Dark Souls 3 isn’t easy. It still takes skill and, more importantly, patience to master its complex combat system, but it plays fair too, inviting more casual gamers to take part in its bleak, fantastical world. Plus, on the bright side, it brings remarkably better PC optimization than that of the first game. And, now that you can pick up Dark Souls: Remastered and see where this apocalyptic series got its start – there’s never been a better time to link the first flame. Pillars of Eternity is a sprawling RPG in the vein of Baldaur's Gate or Icewind Dale that combines highly detailed technical combat with hundreds of hours of gameplay. It has refreshingly low system requirements on the PC but still looks incredible thanks to its simple but effective art style, which harks back to those aforementioned isometric fantasy RPGs of the 2000s. But it's not all about nostalgia: Pillars of Eternity has enough interesting characters, baddies and clever writing to make it a modern classic of its own. Grand Theft Auto V is one of the most anticipated console ports to ever hit the PC. You probably didn't need telling twice to head back into Los Santos's hugely detailed and interactive world, but it's 10 times more fun with the PC's richer graphics and smooth 60 frames per second gameplay. After you’ve completed its 30-hour campaign, there’s an overflow of post-game content to enjoy here. Most recently that includes The Doomsday Heist in GTA Online and even a radio station hosted by Frank Ocean. BioShock is a first-person shooter that takes concepts from Ayn Rand's Atlast Shrugged and tosses them underseas. To be exact, BioShock takes place in an underwater city called Rapture, free from government regulation, designed for artists and entrepreneurs to thrive. Of course, not all goes well in a city where the residents have all the power and, well, stop what you're doing and play it right now if you haven't already.You're in for one of the great games if you play BioShock, one that balances story elements with horror nigh-perfectly. There's a remastered version out there now, too, which is free of charge if you own the original. Set 15 years after the events of the first Alien film from 1979, Alien: Isolation is the suspense-packed game that fans of the franchise have been crying out for. Playing the role of Amanda Ripley, daughter of Alien protagonist Ellen Ripley, your mission is to track down and recover the flight recorder of the Nostromo spacecraft from the first Alien film which has been located aboard the Sevastopol space station. First and foremost a stealth game, Isolation ramps up the tension by providing you with minimal weaponry. Its excellent graphics shine on high-end PCs and clever AI helps ramp up the dread, leaving you to quiver when turning every corner. Read: How the tech of Alien Isolation will scare you back into the 1970s If nothing else, Overwatch breaks the norm of gray-ish cover shooters competitive gaming year after year. Its bright, vibrant colors are complemented by likeable characters, each decorated with their own interesting backstories which, although they aren’t present in the game, make for fun web comics nevertheless. Overwatch is also a technical feat in that it can run smoothly even on older PCs. What’s more, the PC version is cheaper than on consoles, so long as you don’t opt for the Origins Edition. That goes without mentioning its astounding community of players. By now, there’s no excuse to sign into your Battle.net account and take every character – from Ana to Zenyatta – for a test run in Overwatch today. Even if it came out almost 6 years ago, Counter-Strike Global Offensive is still a fantastic update to a timeless classic that continues to thrive thanks to its vast online communities – it’s truly one of the best PC games. Global Offensive is a well-rounded tactical shooter that builds on the simple Terrorists vs Counter-Terrorists gameplay of Counter-Strike 1.6, by updating classic maps such as Italy and Dust – while also adding new modes in Arms Race and Demolition. Simpler than Battlefield, but more complex than Call of Duty, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive is a shooter for those who like to think – if only just a little bit.  Read: 9 games that are far better on PC than consoles In a lot of ways, Far Cry 5 is the ultimate Far Cry game – combining all of the elements that has made the series successful, while cutting a lot of the fat (including the towers, thank god). And while on its own it doesn't do anything entirely new, it perfects the Far Cry formula to a point where Far Cry 5 is one of the best open world First Person Shooters you can play in 2018.After a very heavy and intense intro, you’re dumped in the middle of rural Montana and given the task of dismantling the local cult. But, that quickly fades into the background as a myriad of activities – from hunting down aliens to taking out outposts – ultimately become your focus. But it’s precisely this focus on playing your own way that makes Far Cry 5 so special.  FTL (Faster Than Light) puts you command of running a spaceship and looking after its crew. Featuring a complex game mechanism that involves maintaining weapons, engines, shields and other areas, in addition to tactical combat, FTL can get extremely in-depth over time. Whether you're ordering your crew to quite literally put out fires on deck in the heat of battle, or are navigating through asteroid fields, FTL is as much about long-term progression and satisfaction as it is quick fixes. Don't let its indie stylings fool you: this is game with untold depth and scary levels of addictiveness. A 90s classic brought back to life (unlike its main protagonist), Grim Fandango Remastered is a successful attempt at reviving one of the PC's best adventure games of all time. Combining writing that matches the funniest dark comedies with clever puzzles and a still-impressive art style, Grim Fandango was the most entertaining work of art to take place in a Mexican setting for years until Breaking Bad came along. Now with updated graphics, sound and better controls, Manna Calavera's adventure has never looked so good. Read: Grim Fandango is headed to the PS4 and Vita Six years after its initial release, Skyrim is going as strong as ever thanks to a vast selection of mods and high-resolution texture packs. Even if you're only interested in playing the vanilla version of the RPG, it offers more than 100 hours of gameplay.Throw in three action packs DLC expansion packs (Dawnguard, Hearthfire and Dragonborn), and it lasts even longer. That Skyrim has been compared to graphically superior but similar RPG blockbuster The Witcher 3 is testament to its enduring popularity. Step into Skyrim and you too can be an adventurer - just try not to take an arrow in the knee. Read: 9 games that are far better on PC than consoles If you’re anything like us, and you secretly pine for the days of ultra-fast arena shooters, you’re going to absolutely love Quake Champions. Unlike a lot of new games in ancient series, the DNA of Quake is left completely intact in Champions. You’re dumped into a relatively small map with a ton of verticality and armed with completely bonkers weaponry. And, there’s no battle royale or any other kind of trendy game modes here – it’s deathmatch all the way, baby. Much in the same way that Id Software mastered the reboot of Doom and brought it to a modern audience, Quake Champions is a nostalgic shooter that still manages to feel fresh in 2018. The kicker? If you act fast, you can score it for free on Steam ahead of its full release.  Read: Is the MMORPG on the verge of extinction? The phrase "build it, and they will come" literally rings true when it comes to Minecraft, the survival-based sandbox RPG that has now been purchased more than 100 million times since its conception in 2009. In it, you can create your own worlds using resources you find in the wild or explore worlds created by other players online. In Minecraft, you can either limit yourself to the numerous tools and blocks provided by the developer, Mojang, or you can install mods to truly capitalize on your investment. What’s more, come 2018, you’ll be able to take part in the Super Duper Graphics Pack, an optional piece of DLC that adds more realistic lighting effects and textures to an already fantastic product. The Orange Box may be showing its age, but it remains a must-play collection of games - particularly for FPS fans. Half-Life 2, technically still the most recent game in Valve's franchise (excluding its Episode 1 and 2 add-ons), remains a modern masterpiece and is famed for being the first game to intelligently apply physics to its puzzles and combat set-pieces.The collection's other titles aren't too shabby either: Portal takes gravity-based puzzles to the extreme by equipping the player with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (also known as the Portal Gun), which places two portals for objects to pass through, while Team Fortress 2 continues to go from strength-to-strength thanks to the introduction of custom gear and well-balanced team combat. Read: 9 games that are far better on PC than consoles Sometimes a game that’s been out for 10 years becomes temporarily free on Origin and you just have to play it. Dead Space is one of those games. A survival horror game by definition, this acclaimed piece of science fiction stars a fittingly named Isaac Clarke, whose name itself is a combination of the famous sci-fi authors Arthur C. Clarke and Isaac Asimov. Told from an over-the-shoulder third-person perspective, Dead Space is a rescue mission story, wherein you (as Isaac) are tasked with investigating a mining ship mysteriously full of alien virus-infected dead bodies. All the while, you’ll have to stay on top of upgrading your futuristic ‘RIG’ suit too.    Id Software's Doom was a phenomena for PC gamers in the 90s. The crudely rendered first-person shooter series was as controversial as it was beloved, largely thanks to its cutting-edge depictions of gore and violence that only a computer could deliver. Parents be damned, the franchise has made a comeback in 2016 with a fresh restart, appropriately titled Doom. Although the multiplayer might not appeal to shooter fans regardless of age, the single player campaign will pit you against demons in Hell for a lengthy experience that's as bloody as it is satisfying. If Forza Horizon 3 is the racing game for newcomers to racing games, Asetto Corsa is the game for the grizzled experts. Its obtuse handling and insane difficulty straight from the get go makes it a toss up for one of the most realistic racing simulators of all time. And, even if you can get it on consoles, unlike Project Cars, this is a game that was developed for PC first. Everything about this game, from its demanding career mode to its deep seated driving mechanics – which basically require a racing wheel accessory – make it a joy for die-hard petrolheads, even if its difficulty curve is often just backbreaking.  Read: Why realistic PC racer Project Cars is the torque of the town Modelled after the 1984 game Elite, Elite: Dangerous is one of the most ambitious space sims around. Featuring an in-game galaxy based on the real Milky Way (how's 400 billion stars for depth?), the ultimate goal is to advance your rankings to Elite status by levelling up combat, trading and exploration.Starting out with a rickety ship and 1,000 credits in your space suit's back pocket, you'll need to turn to piracy, trading, exploring, mining or bounty hunting to rise through the intergalactic ranks. Doing so takes time and requires serious graft, but the experience provides a level of satisfaction that few other titles can match. And then there's the Oculus Rift... From developer Playdead, the same team that devised the acclaimed (and platform ubiquitous) Limbo, comes another eerie tale. Like Limbo, Inside follows another nameless boy in a bleak world that's apparently out to get you. Only, this time, there's at least a few shades of color to keep you from complete despair. It's not clear why, but the mute protagonist in Inside is being chased down by what appears to a group of shadowy men.Nothing is explained in either spoken dialogue or text, so for the most part you're on your own when it comes to figuring out the story. Nonetheless, Inside is bound to be an instant classic; although, revealing anything about it would inch into spoiler territory. Want more games like this? Check out our best indie games list Described as "achingly beautiful" by Unity Engine boss John Riccitiello, Ori and the Blind Forest borrows its game mechanics from old-school 2D games such as Metroid and Castlevania while adding a modern twist. If any word can describe Ori's atmospheric world, it's alive. You'll have to think fast and use new abilities gained along the way to bash, stop and manoeuvre your way through its gorgeous locations, and with no automatic saving system or easy difficulty level, it's no walk in the park. As satisfying to master as it is to look at, Ori and the Blind Forest will re-open your eyes to what 2D games still have to offer. Unity CEO argues games are at, wants Jurassic Park in VR Grow Home is an experimental PC platformer that looks like an "indie" game but is in fact the latest release from Rayman developer Ubisoft. Similarly charming thanks to its distinctive 3D art style, you play as BUD, the game's robot protagonist, whose main job is harvest seeds and grow a beanstalk-like 'Star Plant' by grabbing its branches and connecting them to nearby floating islands in the sky.There's a fair bit of trial-and-error involved, and while having to climb all the way back up again after a fall is frustrating, grabbing a passing vine at the last minute by the tips of your fingers can be equally as exhilarating. The ability to move BUD's arms and legs independently helps put you in control - just try not to get them tangled up. Because you will - a lot. Unity CEO argues games are at, wants Jurassic Park in VR A 2D exploration game set on a boat can't be that creepy, right? Wrong. More gothic than a Cradle of Filth concert, Sunless Sea throws all manners of joyless themes your way: death, insanity and cannibalism to name a few. Sailing from port-to-port in the monster-filled underworld of Fallen London, you'll have to manage fuel and supplies while battling sentient icebergs, Zee-beasts and other water-dwelling nasties to remain afloat. Top-notch writing gives Sunless Sea an absorbing storyline that's up there with history's best text-based adventures. Already familiar to millions before they've played a played a second of it, Rocket League turns the age old game of football (or soccer, depending) on its head. Played with rocket-propelled cars in futuristic low-gravity environments, the aim is simple: knock the ball into the opposing team's goal. Doing so is harder said than done because there could be up to three cars on the opposing team trying to steal the ball off you - or ram you into submission - at any one time. Gorgeous to look, simple to learn but difficult to master, Rocket League is the surprise smash hit of 2015 - and a wonderfully addictive one at that.Read: 8 real-life footballers in Rocket League: which one are you? As inevitable as sandals in summer, Blizzard finally launched its first MOBA (Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) game in June. Featuring a ton of characters from Blizzard games such as Warcraft, World of Warcraft and Starcraft 2, Heroes of the Storm sees two teams of five attempt to destroy the other's base. When not sounding out enemy units to destroy, its expansive maps give you room to take on secondary objectives such as finding skulls or unlocking special siege units to help your team.Accessible to newcomers while packing plenty of depth, Heroes' finely balanced gameplay mechanics, shorter matches (compared to League of Legends) and ability-based levelling system make it a refreshing alternative to established MOBA titles and a fine game in its own right. Metal Gear Solid V, the last Metal Game which will be helmed by Hideo Kojima after his forceful ejection from Konami, is a hugely ambitious title. Its massive open world setting allows you to tackle missions using stealth, but you’re still able to go in guns blazing if you prefer – though you won’t get as good a score.Taking place nine years after the events of Ground Zeroes, The Phantom Pain’s story unravels through its main missions and more than 100 Side Ops tasks. The action is interspersed with beautiful cutscenes, and while you sometimes have to decode annoying pseudo-military babble to figure out what’s happening, TPP’s fast pacing and beautiful Afghanistan and African settings make sure the game never feels like a chore. A gripping horror game in the vein of Amnesia: The Dark Descent (it's from the same developer), SOMA has its fair share of "NOPE!" moments. But it's not really about jump scares; the game's most compelling aspect is its philosophical story arc, which unravels as you encounter a series of confused robots. Suffering from existential stress, the decaying machines believe they are human.The tension builds as you venture deeper into the underwater research facility that you wake up aboard, avoiding murderous creatures, solving clever puzzles and checking voice memos to unravel the mystery. Expertly weaving elements of survival and psychological Sci-Fi horror, SOMA is a little less action packed than Alien: Isolation but engages more of the old grey matter. If that's what you're looking for in a fright-fest, SOMA doesn't disappoint. if you think you've learnt a thing or two about prison life watching films like The Green Mile and The Shawshank Redemption over the years, cuff-em-up Prison Architect lets you put your knowledge to the test. Playing as wardens, you're tasked with keeping prisoners in check, preventing riots from boiling over and foiling The Great Escape-style plots. And yes: it does involve sending men to the electric chair. Gnarly. Alternatively, a second mode called Escape lets you unleash your inner Bronson by hatching a plot to lead your fellow inmates to freedom. (Until you get arrested again, anyway.) Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide was one of the best PC games for anyone who loves playing the best PC games with friends. And, we’re delighted to say that Warhammer: Vermintide 2 takes the deep co-operative gameplay of the original and improves on it in every conceivable way.Although it technically allows you to form complex strategies with your teammates, the action often turns into chaos, where the only way you can survive is mindlessly bashing at enemies until you, and your teammates (preferably), are the only things left standing. And, because Vermintide 2 adds a wide range of Orc enemies on top of the familiar Skaven enemies, you’ll never run out of things to hack to pieces. It's official: Fallout 4 has lived up to the hype. Despite feeling a little bit like Fallout 3 but with nicer graphics at times, its tighter shooting, in-depth crafting system and well-thought out story make it a wholly more enticing affair.As the Sole Survivor (the first fully-voiced protagonist in the Fallout series) in Boston's post-apocalypse wasteland, you'll take on Feral Ghouls, Raiders, Syths and Bloodbugs and more with high-powered weaponry that includes the Fat Man mini nuke cannon and the fusion cell-powered Laser Musket. Fallout 4: the good, the bad and the ugly of the Boston Wastelands If the Call of Duty series is the poison that dumbed down the FPS genre with its run-and-gun gameplay, then Rainbow Six: Siege is the antidote. Working as a team to out-wit the enemy, Siege plays out like a thinking man (or woman's) Counter-Strike that doesn't simply encourage cooperation if you want to win - it requires it.When you're not peering down your gun's iron sights, you'll be laying traps, scouting ahead using drones, strategising with your teammates and building walls that could keep a herd of demented bulls at bay. While Siege's heavy reliance on tactical team-based gameplay can prove its biggest weakness if you're hoisted into a server with a particularly uncooperative bunch, when it does click, it provides a level of satisfaction rarely found in online multiplayer games. "Console port" is no longer a dirty phrase thanks to efforts like Rise of the Tomb Raider, which gets the treatment it deserves on PC. Featuring stunning and varied locations, exciting combat and effective stealth mechanics, Lara's epic outing often feels movie-like in its execution and scope.Crystal Dynamics has kept the soul of the original games intact too – there's pistols aplenty, amazing architecture and angry animals that would quite like to gobble you up – meaning you'll never get bored once you've soaked up Siberia's amazing architecture. If you're into adventures, it's easily one of the best PC games around. Imagine a survival-based shooter where every match starts with your avatar being ejected from a cargo plane alongside 99 other players with no weapons or items. That’s PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, or at least the solo, free for all mode. After spending the early minutes of the game digging for resources, you’ll soon be forced to reckon with your own mortality as the body count ticker at the top of the screen descends into desolation.Abbreviated PUBG, PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds is based on another “last man standing” game released back in 2013: PlayerUnknown’s Battle Royale. It doesn’t require a copy of Arma III or H1Z1 to run, but you’ll need to keep your wits about you. There’s no respawning in PUBG, so it’s less about the precision of your aim as it is about your ability to scavenge quickly for weapons, first aid kits and clothing.  Picking up immediately after the events of Wolfenstein: The New Order, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus will inevitably be heralded as a classic. For some, it’s the punishing old-school gunplay that’s to thank for this. Even on the default difficulty, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus will have you fretting for your life. Yet, for others, story reigns supreme. And, if The New Colossus serves as an interactive showcase for anything, it’s story, the most interesting parts of which are told through flashbacks. We won’t go as far as to spoil the plot, but what we will say is that B.J. Blazkowicz’s motives become a lot clearer in this iteration of Wolfenstein, not that he needs to justify killing Nazis. Originally created as an entry to the 7 Day FPS Challenge, Superhot's Polish developers were inspired by a top-down game called Time4Cat where time only moves when the player does. They took this concept one step further and turned it into a FPS. Falling somewhere between Portal and Max Payne, nifty reflexes, patience and an eye for puzzle solving is required.The aim is to defeat a finite number of enemies by dodging bullets and returning a few yourself. The game is now available to buy and download on Steam, but you can head back to where it all began by playing the flash version of Superhot online for free. You'll need the Unity Web Player plugin which is currently not supported by Chrome. X-Com 2 is one addictive game, and we still can't put it down. Following up from 2012's XCOM: Enemy Unknown, which reimagined the 1994 cult classic UFO: Enemy Unknown, XCOM 2 has delivered everything we wanted in a sequel. Bigger, deeper, faster and even easier on the eyes, the turn-based tactics game takes place 20 years after its predecessor.It pits you in control of the Avenger, a converted alien ship that serves as your mobile base of operations used to devise strategy and execute fight plans against otherworldly enemies. With a greater focus of stealth, more intelligent alien AI and deeper customization options, XCOM 2 is bound to end up one of our games of the year. Anyone familiar with World of Warcraft knows that it's among the most successful and influential massively multiplayer online role-playing games (or MMORPGs) of all-time. Comprising nearly 14 years of content, with over thousands of hours just waiting to be invested, there are few better games to spend your money on than World of Warcraft.With Battle For Azeroth, the all-new expansion pack, players will be able to explore two new continents – Kul Tiras for Alliance players and Zandalar for the Horde. Blizzard has kept the leveling system from Legion, as well, meaning you can tackle the new zones in any order you feel like. This will of course come with all the new raids and dungeons we’ve grown accustomed to over the years and a storyline that will see the two playable factions at each other's’ throats in a major way. From PlatinumGames and Square Enix, Nier: Automata is a sequel to the 2010 cult classic Nier, which itself is a spin-off of the Drakengard series. Technically an action role-playing game, Nier: Automata’s most gripping quality is that it never truly adheres to one particular genre. At times, it’s a 2.5D platformer and, at others, it’s a twin-stick shooter. It’s unpredictable and a breath of fresh air when compared to other PC games out on the market.The story centers around a femme android by the name of 2B who is aided by a survey android called 9S, or Nines. With many questions being asked along the way, both of these characters are tasked with extricating Earth from alien machines that have engulfed the planet. Just be conscious of how you play because not only does Nier: Automata feature different endings, but with each new path comes vastly different gameplay.  Source link

[thebookrat]

As I mentioned yesterday, First Second books — glorious loves of my life that they are &mdsah; sent me a big ol' box of awesome graphic novels for me to binge on, in preparation for their Girl Power Graphic Novels blog tour. And because I was heart-eyes emojis all over the place, I decided to embrace the theme and turn my one-day blog tour stop into an entire week devoted to highlighting some of my favorite titles and characters on said theme. ✊ So today, I'm taking a deeper look at what exactly came in that Box of Awesomeness, and sharing my thoughts on each! But make sure to stop back by all week, because we're just getting started. The City on the Other Side by Mairghread Scott (Author), Robin Robinson (Illustrator)

When a wealthy and sheltered young girl stumbles into a pitched war between two fairy kingdoms, the fate of San Francisco itself hangs in the balance! The first decade of the twentieth century is coming to a close, and San Francisco is still recovering from the great earthquake of 1906. Isabel watched the destruction safely from her window, sheltered within her high-society world. Isabel isn't the kind of girl who goes on adventures. But that all changes when she stumbles through the invisible barrier that separates the human world from the fairy world. She quickly finds herself caught up in an age-old war and fighting on the side of the Seelie—the good fairies.

As you could probably tell from my unboxing, I was pretty excited for this one. WHIMSICAL CREATURES, YOU GUYS. I didn't plan on being let down, and I wasn't. Of all of the books featured today, City perhaps gives the most consistent and most numerous examples of strong female characters. All of the books do so, but City features many female characters who are different from each other, and strong in different ways, with an overall feeling of competence among them that I really enjoyed.  But the real strength of this story owes a lot to Robin Robinson's art and character creation, because these creatures (the variety, the distinction, the execution) is top-notch. It's the kind of art you want to just lose yourself in for a bit, and anywhere the story may fall short, the art more than makes up for it. And the color palettes! That's a theme with these 5 books/series, but oh, the color palettes on this one especially! *swoon* The City on the Other Side hits stores today! Scarlett Hart: Monster Hunter by Marcus Sedgwick (Author), Thomas Taylor (Illustrator)

Scarlett Hart, orphaned daughter of two legendary monster hunters, is determined to carry on in her parents’ footsteps—even if the Royal Academy for the Pursuit and Eradication of Zoological Eccentricities says she’s too young to fight perilous horrors. But whether it's creepy mummies or a horrid hound, Scarlett won’t back down, and with the help of her loyal butler and a lot of monster-mashing gadgets, she’s on the case. With her parent’s archrival, Count Stankovic, ratting her out to T.R.A.P.E.Z.E. and taking all the monster-catching rewards for himself, it’s getting hard for Scarlett to do what she was born to do. And when more monsters start mysteriously manifesting than ever before, Scarlett knows she has to get to the bottom of it and save the city... whatever the danger! In his first adventure for middle-grade readers, acclaimed YA author Marcus Sedgwick teams up with Thomas Taylor (illustrator of the original edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone) to create a rip-roaring romp full of hairy horrors, villainous villains, and introducing the world’s toughest monster hunter—Scarlett Hart!

I have . . . numerous stories by Marcus Sedgwick on my shelves. He's one of those authors that I've always intended to read, and had a feeling I would really jell with, but have yet to pick up any of them. So I was very excited to see he was releasing a graphic novel — middle grade, at that — and a flip through to see the art had me even more eager. And this one is certainly enjoyable, though perhaps not the best introduction I could have had to Sedgwick as an author. Scarlett Hart is a fun and boisterous story, with a slightly zany approach to the conflicts and monster battles. In some ways, it seemed to have a Scooby Doo vibe, though it's not really a mystery; just that, in its presentation, it has some of that silly, corny approach to storytelling that is the hallmark of Scooby Doo. The dialogue — and the characters, to an extent — didn't feel like products of their Victorian setting, but that will likely help win over its target audience of younger readers, to be fair. All told, I enjoyed it (and the slightly unsettling art), but wanted a bit more from it. Cucumber Quest: The Doughnut Kingdom by Gigi D.G.

What happens when an evil queen gets her hands on an ancient force of destruction? World domination, obviously. The seven kingdoms of Dreamside need a legendary hero. Instead, they'll have to settle for Cucumber, a nerdy magician who just wants to go to school. As destiny would have it, he and his way more heroic sister, Almond, must now seek the Dream Sword, the only weapon powerful enough to defeat Queen Cordelia’s Nightmare Knight. Can these bunny siblings really save the world in its darkest hour? Sure, why not?

The Cucumber Quest series (three books so far, with a fourth coming this fall) is vibrant, silly, super-cute and deceptively simple. This is the type of book that very young readers will fall into and beg to have read to them over and over again; the kind that, when read aloud to a group of children, will have them screaming and yelling and laughing in pure silly joy. It's a very fun and light-hearted story, likely to be a hit with fans of Adventure Time, though possibly too cutesy for some. Again, the colors on this are just fantastic; one of its biggest strengths, actually, is its coloring, which stands out from a lot of the comparatively-duller comics, and lends it even more of a whimsical air. The books may be too simple, silly and/or cloying for older readers, but for many, it'll be a likely hit adventure story that refreshingly flips the expected gender norms on their heads. Monsters Beware! (Chronicles of Claudette #3) by Jorge Aguirre, Rafael Rosado

Claudette is back AGAIN, and she’s ready to kick major monster butt! She’s fought giants, clobbered dragons, and now Claudette faces her biggest challenge yet… herself! Well, that and a gang of vile monsters. It all begins when Claudette’s town hosts the annual Warrior Games. After some sneaky maneuvering, Claudette manages to gets herself, Marie, and Gaston chosen as her town's representatives. But none of Claudette’s past battles has prepared her for this. And to make matters worse, they must stop the vicious Sea Queen and her evil children from using the Warrior Games to free the dark Wizard Grombach and conquer the world! In Monsters Beware!, the third and final book of the Claudette graphic novel series, Claudette is put to the ultimate test. With her honor on the line will she learn that there's more to a fight than just winning?

I've talked about the Chronicles of Claudette stories before (I still don't know what happened to my review of Giants... *frowny face* ), so you may already be familiar with my thoughts and see where I'm likely to go with this, but these stories. . . damn, they are cute. The style is super cartoony (owing to Rosado's and Aguirre's experience in the animation and children's television industries), well-suited to the spunky, silly characters that populate the series. Claudette is plucky and adorably ferocious, likely to win over both young girls and boys (which, according to prevailing wisdom is sadly no easy feat...), and the stories have a playful, humorous approach to all things that will please even the adults being forced to read the same book over and over to their kid, who still inexplicably finds everything as hilarious the 85th time as they did the first. . . Highly recommended for young readers. Also, though this may be the 3rd book I'm talking about today, you can easily start at any book in the series The League of Lasers (Star Scouts #2) by Mike Lawrence

Avani has found the one place in the universe where she fits in: Star Scouts. The League of Lasers is the second volume of this action-packed graphic novel series by Mike Lawrence. During a troop meeting, a robot messenger delivers Avani some exciting news: she has been invited to join a secret society of elite scouts known as the League of Lasers. She is eager to join their ranks, but first she has to survive her initiation challenge. Stranded on an uncharted planet, Avani must contend with the methane atmosphere, hostile frog-like inhabitants, and her dwindling supplies of food and water. But even worse: her arch nemesis, Pam, is stranded there, too.

I've saved what may be my favorite for last. I mean, it's a difficult conclusion to come to, because this stack of comics is a strong one. But there is just something about League that just won me over quickly and thoroughly. I was unfamiliar with the series, not having read book one, and I was unsure if that was going to have a negative impact on my ability to understand or enjoy this sequel. But you can easily pick this one up and dive into the story; it stands on its own, while giving you enough of a breadcrumb trail to what happened in book one (I assume) that you can pretty much garner all of the backstory without being bogged down in it. Again, the coloring is gorgeous, an absolutely beautiful, consistent palette of vibrant pinks, purples and teals throughout. And the characters are interesting, fun, and charming. There's a good weaving of plot threads, and all in all, I was completely taken by it. My one drawback was that the transitions between scenes could be very abrupt (or non-existent), which sometimes made the story feel confusing or disjointed, like maybe I'd accidentally skipped a page or panel. I think some of this may have been intentional (especially in Avani's discovery of the new world), but intentional or not, some readers will find it to be a drawback. That said, it won't stop me from looking into book one, or any future installments of the series. And there you have it! Those are my thoughts on that big ol' box of glorious books that was sent my way. All 5+ books make for great girls-in-comics reads, without being heavy-handedly so, or alienating finicky/stubborn boy readers. You can see peeks of the art for each of these books in my unboxing, if you want to get a feel for the style! Make sure to stop back by the rest of this week as I highlight more titles I love, in conjunction with this blog tour! And if you want more right not, you can find the full list of participating blogs here, so make sure to stop by and check out everyone's thoughts on these, and other, awesome girl power comics! via The Book Rat