#it is 2am i hope it doesn't suck

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife # 8- Drama Queen

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Can be read with others in series or alone

Warnings: allusions to sex, mostly fluff and comedy

- - - -

Its been a pretty quiet evening, and with you home, thats saying something. Joel's minding his business watching Tv when you come plopping down next to him on the couch. He doesn't acknowledge you.

So you scoot over and sigh heavily. Still No reaction from the male.

You feint a yawn and snuggle your head on his shoulder. He smiles a little, but doesn't look at you. You rub affectionately like a kitten.

Nothing.

Take the hint, you stupid hunk.

Your pretty manicured hand creeps on his thigh, stroking up and down senually with delicate fingertips.

He knows where this is going, but he won't entertain you. He coughs a little, bored, and continues scrolling channels. Wants to see how far you'll go to get what you want.

As if on cue, you persist. Wrapping your arm over his broad shoulders, hitching your knee awkwardly on his thigh despite the baby in your belly squirming at the uncomfortable angle. You playfully boop his nose, giggling like a flirt. He purses his lips, but nothing else.

You stare at his profile, that unique Joel Miller look of concentration. Handsome and stoic—that little shithead.

You're teasingly rubbing your fingers through his scruff, twisting gently as a massage.

You bring your lips and kiss him kindly on the cheek. Something sweet. Innocent. Then again, but a little longer. Then some more, peppered down his jaw, along his pulse. Heated and wetter. Growing more needy and nipping his ear, making little happy moans as your hand continues to wander over his legs, tip toeing to his crotch.

Joel sighs, finally looking at you. "There a reason you're trying to get me turned on, ma'am?"

"Mmm," you hum, biting your lip and staring his plump ones. You crawl closer, breasts smashed against his bicep as you lick your lips, tongue peaking out with lusty eyes trying to put him under your best charm. Yesyesyes give it to me, Fucker!

"I want a Big—" you kiss his nose "—Messy—" teeth nip at his lower lip "—Hot—" you peck him teasingly, sucking his flesh in your mouth so he knows you mean business. Then you stare down at him with your serious eyes, foreheads pressing,

"—Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with extra Rainbow Sprinkles from Clyde's Creamery."

Yeah. He knew exactly this is where this was going.

He cracks a warm smile, cupping your jaw and parting your lips with his thumb. You suck it into your mouth, hoping to please him. Just as hes about to kiss you, he leans in and says, "No. Its 11pm. Bedtime."

You get off his lap with a cold shoulder and a scoff, proceeding to ignore him for the rest of the night.

Hes evens surprised when you go to bed still silent, facing away from him without a kiss goodnight when you turn off your lamp.

Until it's 2am when he's startled awake by the sound of the the front door opening. He's storming downstairs trying not to trip, and haphazardly throwing a shirt on backwards while in his boxers, only to see you with a packed bag, hand dramatically caressing  your bump with fake ass tears down your cheek going outside to the car.

"Where the FUCK are you going??" He asks, rubbing his eyes. Aggravation and rough exhaustion evident in his tone.

"You said you didn't love me, so I'm leaving," you huff. There's no hint of a joke in your words. Genuine pain. Hurt. Quiet and walking away. You dont wait to see his reaction and without another word, you turn to leave.

Hes so whiplashed, wracking his brain trying to remember any time he even remotely could have said something like that and you interpret it—

"I SAID YOU COULDN'T HAVE A HOT FUDGE COOKIE DOUGH CHOCOLATE GOOEY FANTASY MILKSHAKE because it was FUCKING 11PM AND CLOSED! Now get your fat beautiful ass and our baby back in here and dont ever pull this stupid stunt again!"

You scowl at him, preventing any physical reaction of your internal swooning he thinks my ass is pretty. You hold your ground and refuse to move from your position, defiant, in flip flops and a long nightgown on the front porch at 2am.

Joel furrows his brows and closes his eyes, soothing over the wrinkles you've caused to grow on his forehead.  "Fuck. I'll get you one tomorrow morning for breakfast. Okay?"

You smile giddily and skip back inside "Okie!" You step past him drop your shit on the couch, kissing him on the cheek. "Dont forget the extra rainbow sprinkles."

He grunts, glad that it's dark enough in the house you can't see how exhausted and annoyed he is.

"Oh and close the door, Joel! You'll wake the neighbors with your unnecessary shouting bit. Dramatic much?" You scoff, and waddle up the stairs and right to bed like nothing happened.

-

Tommy also has access to your ring camera notifications and sees Joel and you out there and the whole conversation, and he's laughing so hard when he watches the playback. He teases grumpy exhausted Joel the next morning, conveniently with a to-go milkshake in his hand at 8am.

"Softy for your girl?"

"Shut up."

"And when you have the baby, then there's gonna be two of her!" Tommy wheezes.

Joel's saggy and wrinkled eyes manage to open wider than ever as that particular horror sets over him.

- - - -

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[miiyochi]

୨୧ # BORED

feat. solomon x gn!mc contents. fluff, vaguely takes place in original obey me timeline, solomons your teacher!, light blood n leech mentions :3c genre. drabbles , fluff words. 699  note. this is basically a short conversation you have w/ solomon :) it's currently 2am and I am going to conk out for the night

solomon. 𖦹

You're currently lying upside down on the side of Solomon’s bed, watching him scribble away on some papers you couldn’t care less about. He’s probably working on another lesson for you, but you’re too frustrated to focus on practicing magic. No, you’re feeling something worse than frustration—you're bored.

You’re bored out of your mind, and you want entertainment, attention, anything that’ll distract you from thoughts of ‘how many pens I can steal from Solomon’s desk without him noticing’.

You groan obnoxiously, hoping Sol gets the hint and puts his pen down. Solomon doesn’t, of course, he heard you, and of course, he’s purposefully paying no mind to him.

So, of course, you do it again. Groaning even louder and rolling around on his bed, kicking your feet on the bed to get your point across even more. It's childish, yes but you don't care in the slightest. pausing your movements to peek up at the desk he’s at and notice Solomon’s still writing away.

Annoying.

“Hey. heyy…. Hey geezer. Old bat,” you say, picking up a loose piece of paper off the floor and tearing off the corners to throw at him. “Pay attention to me.”

Silence.

“Sol. Solomon.” He finally stops writing, but he doesn't let the pen go. He just sits in silence, staring at the paper he was previously writing on and the stray balled-up pieces of paper now starting to collect on his desk.

“Solomonie. "Mr. Monsolo,” continuing to spew out random names you could think of, Solomon finally lets the pen drop to the desk with a deep sigh.

Solomon finally looks up at you, surprisingly, he doesn't look annoyed. It's almost as if he was expecting you to do something like this, which he isn’t. At this point, bothering him has become a hobby for you. “What can I do for you, my lovely MC?”

"I've got a question for you"

“Oh?”

“Yeah, listen up, okay?” You shift in your spot on the bed so that you’re sitting upright on your knees facing him. Sitting in silence for a moment, thinking of the next string of words coming out of your mouth: "If I were a leech, would you let me feed off you? yknow, like blood.”

Solomon smiles at that. “You want to drink my blood?” you shake your head, “not particularly no… well, I guess not currently. I’m not a leech. Or a vampire… or Asmodeus.” you whisper the last bit, though you guess he still heard you since he laughs a little.

“Is that really what you wanted to ask me?” When he sees you nod at that, Solomon sits back in his chair with a finger tapping his chin (even the way he thinks is annoying) and ponders for a moment,

"MC, there’s not a thing I wouldn’t let you do to me if you asked for it.”

The room went silent for a moment, and the atmosphere suddenly changed. You couldn’t quite place it, you don’t know exactly what kind of mood it shifted into, but you could feel the utter disgust forming on your face from that.

“Can’t you just, like, say no or something? You go along with almost everything I say.”

“You would’ve been upset if I didn’t let you suck my blood.”

“WELL-…yeah but you don't have to word it like that. I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or not.”

Solomon chuckles lightly before getting up out of his chair to meet you on the bed. He sits next to you and places his hand on top of yours.

“I mean it, MC. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

Ahh, there he goes again. Solomon has a habit of getting all sentimental at the most random moments of the day. He’s so earnest and genuine that you never know what to say or do. What’s the right thing to say when someone says that to you? Especially your teacher, of all people.

“Do you always care for your students like this?”

"I've only ever had one.”

God, what's with his sudden mood shift? It’s getting harder to breathe, and he’s making it harder. His hand moves under yours to weave his fingers in between yours and squeeze them.

“There’s only one student I’ve ever cared about like this, MC.”

“Good.” You squeeze back.

thank you for reading, rbs appreciated!

m.list

[unhappy-last-resort]

Golem's Treasure

Fandom: Morimens

Genre: Yandere

Main Characters: Uvhash, GN Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Stalking, erotic descriptions of blood-sucking, vaguely vampiric, implied nsfw, prob ooc, most definitely has some grammar or spelling mistakes because it's almost 2AM

A/N: So, Sensabo got me into Morimens and we both love Uvhash. He's kinda neat.

Hot water trickles down your skin, washing off the last of the soap and stress from the day and you breath in the humid air of your shower, a rare moment of warmth and peace in your dangerous day to day life but, time doesn't stand still for you, not even in the shower. With a sigh you shut off the water and pull open the curtain with a high-pitched screech of the metal hooks sliding over the pole, ready to dry yourself off and get ready for bed. Your favorite towel sits neatly folded right where you left it, and the steam floats in the air making the rest of the bathroom much less cold than you feared, along with the man crouched in the corner, watching you.

Unsurprisingly, you shriek and haphazardly yank the shower curtain forward, fumbling loudly much to the amusement of your intruder- whose cackles are bouncing off the walls and hurting your ears.

“Your frightened expressions are my favorite! I should do this more often- By the way, you make a lot of interesting noises in there, I was tempted to go and see what you were doing.”

You clenched the curtain so tight your knuckles were white and mustered all your rage into what you hoped was the angriest glare he’d ever seen in his life and thrust your head out from behind the curtain. “Uvhash! What the fuck are you doing?!”

The creature in question stretched his long arms, his joints moving against each other, pulled by invisble muscle and you absently wondered if he was like one of those deep sea fish that have see through organs- or if he even has other organs beyond that ominous heart. “I just wanted to spend time with you.” He shrugged, as if this was normal and an invasive and terrifying progression of his behavior.

“You- “spend time” with me by stalking me while I shower?”

“Is that wrong?”

Strangling, murder, disembowelment, decapitation, throwing a shower brush at him...Yeah, none of those will work. He would find all of those equally amusing and would leave you a bloody mess and still living Uvhash on your bathroom floor. Why do you have to deal with this again? What did you to deserve this? Whatever, take a deep breath and get him out.

“Uvhash.” You say in your sweetest voice straining with rage. “Please leave the bathroom.”

The corners of lips sink from a contented smile into a scowl, his eyes sharpening in protest at your apparently unreasonable request. “Wh-”

“Now.”

His shoulders heave in a sigh before he gathers his limbs and stands up, reluctantly turning to the door and giving you one last look- which you return with a glare and an aggressive point at the door- before exiting. Leaving in you privacy, finally. Hopefully.

You rush to dry yourself off, praying that he’s taken a hint and left your dorm entirely, and tightly wrap your towel around yourself. You wipe the steam off your mirror and stare at yourself. You thought back to your graduation; your tombstone sitting quietly, waiting patiently for your coffin to one day come be buried and stand as testament to your fight- one that would join thousands of others in the past and future in your sacrafice to try and erradicate the Dissolution that threatened to devour humanity.

Then, you thought of Uvhash; a golem created thousands of years ago for the purpose of bloodshed, never before having experienced human joys and whims- his memories only contain of boring days and nights spent in an arena, chained to his master where his happiest memories were ripping someone apart. You thought of his yellow eyes and the gaping hole in his chest that proudly displayed his heart, one of the most vital organs for a human, out in the open with seemingly no protection. He'd let you get close enough you could reach out and grab it, feel it beat in your palm, but maybe you shouldn't have even stood within arms reah of him, because he seemed to take it as invitation of sorts.

You didn't blame him, per se- not after having seen the moments before his first death- but still, the "gifts" he left at your window and doorstep have become increasingly concerning. At first it was little things like mice and birds, you didn't appreciate them and you told him that many times, but he never seemed to understand, or ignored you entirely. Then, it started being things like finger bones and teeth, at first they were old an ancient, and then they started having bits of rotted flesh and blood still on them.

You started wondering if he would ever leave a body at your door, or maybe you're just crazy. That would make you two a perfect pair, wouldn't it? A thousand year old, blood-loving golem and his human companion who has long since lost their mind due to his antics.

You really wish he would take to human courting customs.

Enough of that, you still have the issue of changing. If only you hadn't left your PJ's out in your room. Why didn’t you bring your pajamas in here with you? Why did you have to leave them out in your room? Then again, you weren’t expecting someone to break in. Taking a deep breath, you wrapped your hand around the cold, metal door knob and opened it.

For a moment, you didn’t notice anything. There was the one lamp you had turned on by the door, illuminating part of your room with warm, yellow light, fending off the shadows that lurked in the corners of your mind, and providing some much needed comfort. Your pajamas were resting on the otomen just a few steps away and Uvhash was nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he really did leave. You turn off the bathroom light and delicately step onto the plush carpet to your pajamas, one step, two steps, three steps and your pajamas are right in front of you.

“Are you changing?” Long, white hair falls into your vision as he reaches over to thumb the thin fabric. “It’s soft.” He says curiosuly and picks up the pajama shirt like he's going to inspect it further.

You shudder and snatch the shirt out of his hand, just barely keeping yourself from screaming again. “Can you please-”

“Fine, fine, I’ll turn around. You humans are always so sensitive.”

You bite your lip, some unspeakable emotion roiling in your stomach. You glance behind you, his long white hair covering his back and pooling around his feet like snow. You know Uvhash isn't stupid, despite the opinions others may have because of his more animalistic behavior, and you also know he isn't very familiar with modern human customs- or, human anything beyond what their bodies are made of- but something about this, about what he just said, about his sudden understanding of your want of privacy rubbed you the wrong way. Like maybe he was perfectly aware that hiding in your room like this wasn't acceptable.

"Could you…" He perks up slightly at your voice, invisble muscle shifting benath his transluscent skin. "Could you leave, actually?"

You eye your desk where the case of your key sits quietly, awaiting to be take n on a mission again and a reminder of every Awakener you've met and connected with.

"Going to use that thing again?" There's another shift, one you can't see, but you can feel. The air feels dense, it sits on your skin like a weight, there's a warning in the slight turn of his head, in the stillness of figure.

You bit your lip and slowly, silently, and uncomfortably slip the towel off and put on the silky pajamas. The cool fabric providing little comfort to you as you were accutely reminded of the being behind you.

“Okay.” You mumble, picking up the towel. You toss the towel into the hamper and hesitate for a moment before you reluctantly turn to the golem who is, predictably, watching you again.

"Um," You gesture at nothing, to his indifference. "Do you need something?"

He does nothing for a moment, and then his lips curl into a smile. "No."

You take a breath and nod, not sure what to do or what he wants. You could maybe call Ramona, or Doll, but you'd need to get the communicator first, and then you'd need to turn it on, and then one of them would need to actually pick up at this hour.

You scratch your head roughly. "So, why are you here?"

"I want to spend time with you."

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Will you leave once you've done that?"

He considers for a moment, his eyes still never leaving your figure. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" You groan and rub your face before deciding to give up and walk over to your vanity to start your skin care routine and hopefully by then, he'd leave and if not, there is the emergency rope by your bed.

You watch Uvhash come up behind you as you shuffle in your seat, his golden eyes meeting yours in the mirror before moving down to your hands with mild interest. “Lotion?” He scrunches up his nose.

“Yes, Uvhash, do you have opinions on it?” You shoot a glare at him through the mirror, which he misses by a fraction of a second.

“You don’t need that stuff.” He blows a puff of air through his nose.

You ignore him and gather some of it on your fingers and bring it up to your face, but before it could touch your skin, his long, sharp fingers wrap around your wrist and pull it away as he leans in, his voice rumbling against your neck. “I said you don’t need it, it ruins your scent.”

You yank at your hand, trying to pry it out of his iron clad grip. "My scent? I don't care about that! That's not what it's for!"

Maybe he pulled you, or maybe you lost your balance, but either way your back hit his chest and his face was in full view. He doesn't have whites in his eyes, he has red, and sometimes it truly gives him the appearence of a demon. He stares at you for a long, long moment before you feel a finger trace over your jaw and his thumbs absently brush your lips and his voice came in a whisper. "I prefer you like this."

You stare at him in a stupor as his other hand slowly wraps around your throat, tilting your jaw up just enough for his lips to brush over your neck, his hot breath burning your skin as he licks a strip on your skin. He watches you in the mirror as he pushes you forward and your palms press flat against the vanity and he opens his mouth, unusually sharp canines pushing against your skin.

Every other sense seems to dull as more pressure coalesces into two points on your neck, the skin stretching, unwilling to break beneath his teeth and then, with one, small push, the tension breaks and his teeth sink into your flesh and you ease a sigh, relaxing into his grip as his teeth disappear in a budding stream of red that flows down your neck and chest, blossoming on your silken pajamas like spider lilies.

His white hair falls over your shoulders and cloaks over the two of you as your knees tremble and he curls over your slowly sinking figure, letting go of your wrist to instead hold your waist. You can feel his grin against your skin and see the glint in his eye as he watches you in the mirror, like a hunter watching the fawn he’s been wanting finally caught in his trap.

You can feel the heart in his chest beat against you as he pushes his teeth in deeper, drawing more streams of blood as his hand slips under your shirt and cradles a breast, his sharp nails digging in your skin, his hips pressed flush against your ass as a low groan reverberates in his throat.

He'd always said how much he wanted to taste your blood, but in a way it felt too ridiculous to take seriously in spite of his history. After all, this was the campus of Mythag University, plenty of Keepers and Awakeners were here- aside from your graduation day- this place was safe.

Now, as you watch him lick and suck at the freshly made puncture wounds and how you inexpicably find yourself leaning into it, beckoning him to continue with soft sighs and barely concealed little moans, you know you were wrong.

This place isn't a safe haven from harm, and it's not free from beastly whims, but maybe- you shudder as he leaves your neck and his hands slide down- maybe that's alright.

Just for one night.

[toomanytadpoles]

Redemption theroy

Durge only survived Orin's attack because of being a Bhaalspawn...or was it Bhaal implementing a system reboot. Maybe Orin attacking Durge was more Bhaal than whatever little but of her own will she has. She doesn't block the urges or can't like Durge could/can, and they can be very directed from Bhaal.

Withers says Bhaal only knows parts of Durge, the Urge part. So, was Bhaal was hoping to only bring back the Urge part because he has a backup copy in a way? What if that sort of worked. He can give you back memories where they hate Kethric and Orin, because he knows that part, because that's the part of him, the Bhaalspawn blood. BUT earlier memories before as a child come back only with a heal spell, he can't give those parts back, they have to be resorted from another source than him. He doesn't know those parts.

But you don't really have any memories of Gortash, because those are the ones Bhaal wanted you to loose. Maybe not because he could keep them from Durge in the reboot. But because he couldn't give them back because they were never from the Urge/Bhaalspawn side of Durge. Bhaal is just hate and destruction why would be able to know any legitimate loving part of Durge that wasn't based in malice. (Whatever his feeling for Durge I don't think it's real love, Durge is a vessel of his will, and Sceleritas Fel is a gaslighter or I think imprinting some his own feelings for his charge).

He wouldn't understand Durge's sadness in seeing what a truely loving father, Ketheric, would do for his child. He would only be able to give the sibling rivalry between Durge and Orin no softer moments between family that may have occurred. (You know the way you'd hang with your neice who is also your grand niece and might be the same age as you and somehow also your sister if Bhaal is the father of all Bhaalspawn, honestly blood kin in such a nice easy name for that family wreath of tree). And Gortash who was likely at the very least a true best friend (as historians might put it) doesn't have any hateful moments? Even running around doing probably very terrible things together besides the few BnEs and heists we know of, Durge liked Gortash back. But those feelings are from the regular part of Durge.

And that is why I think redemption or reject Bhaal is great. Bhaal sucks.

I don't think I said anything unique but it's 2am and I can't sleep...so this has happened...

[iamthecomet]

I just got four shots so I can travel and I feel like shit. Can I have Rain and Dew? You decide what happens, but I just want some Rain and Dewdrop.

-Solar Ghoul

I hope you're feeling better now! I'm sorry I didn't get this out when you wanted it most. But I hope it was worth the wait. Messy tour bus shenanigans below the cut.

It's 2am when Dew slides into Rain's bunk. The bus bumps and sways as he slips from his bunk into Rain's. He doesn't bother to ask, or see if Rain's awake. Rain always sleeps like shit on the tour bus. So chances are he's still awake, or halfway there. He presses his warm body up against Rain's back. Snaking arm around him to press flat over Rain's belly button. He feels the steady rise and fall of Rain's breath. Feels the way it hitches when Dew's hand slips up under his shirt to find soft skin.

Dew hooks his chin against Rain's shoulder, hot breath fanning over his neck, nose nuzzling into Rain's dark curls. He smells like the venue. Cigarettes, stale beer, chlorinated water, generic soap. Rain makes a small noise and shifts, turning his head and dislodging Dew's face so they can look at each other. Rain blinks blearily at him. He takes one of his earbuds out and offers it to Dew. He's barely awake.

Dew will deny until the day he dies the way his heart clenches in his chest when Rain looks at him like this. Dew takes the earbud, fits it in his ear.

He has to turn his head to muffle his laugh in Rain's pillow. "Seriously?"

"What?" Rain asks, rolling onto his other side so they're face to face.

"How is Nine Inch Nails, sleeping music?"

"Whatever works," Rain replies with a shrug.

Dew slips his hand around to rest on the back of Rain's neck. He pulls until Rain tips his head down and presses their foreheads together.

"What are you doing here, Dewdrop?"

Dew slips his other hand up under Rain's t-shirt, grazing calloused fingers over the soft hair on Rain's belly. His tail comes to curl around one of Rain's thighs loosely.

"Can't sleep."

"So you thought feeling me up would help?"

"Usually does." Dew doesn't bother trying to fake innocence. He just drags his fingers up higher to thumb over one of Rain's nipples. He uses his tail to tug Rain's leg over his hip. He grinds his hips up. Dew's already hard, has been for the better part of twenty minutes. Laying in the bunk above Rain's trying to decide if he just wanted to jerk off or if he wanted to make it Rain's problem. It's always more fun with a partner. He can feel how Rain is fattening up through the thin sweatpants. Another grind of their hips together has Rain gasping. He tips his head back and Dew latches onto the side of his neck with tongue and teeth, sucking a deep bruise onto his skin while Rain grabs Dew's hips and drags him forward, slotting their bodies further together.

"Dew," Rain gasps, reaching up to pull at Dew's hair to try to dislodge him. "Dew, please."

"Please what, Raincloud?" "You started this, the least you can do is touch me." "'m taking my time," Dew says, digging his teeth into the skin above Rain's collarbone. Rain makes a reedy noise. Dew thinks after all this time that Rain should be used to this, or that Dew should be used to how quickly Rain unravels under Dew's ministrations. But it never ceases to floor him. To send rolling desire through his stomach. It takes almost nothing, a couple well-placed bites, the grind of their hips together, to reduce Rain into a needy puddle. "Gotta be quiet," Dew whispers, pressing a line of open-mouth kisses up Rain's throat, over his jaw. "Don't want to wake up the whole bus." It's a fool's errand, Dew knows. Before he goes too far he's going to have to shove his fingers, or Rain's shirt, or even the corner of the pillow into Rain's mouth. Rain is quiet until someone gets a hand on his dick, and then he loses all volume control.

"Bet you're slick already," Dew whispers, his lips almost pressed against Rain's, their breath mingling in the minuscule space.

Rain nods. "C'mon, Dew. Don't be mean."

"This isn't mean," Dew chides. If it wasn't the middle of the night on a tour bus he'd show Rain mean. He'd work him up. Finger him until he cried. Whisper filth into his ear until he was begging for it.

Dew wishes for a hotel. Wishes for a way to press Rain into a mattress and really give him everything he wants. He settles for dragging both of their pants down to their thighs. He offers his palm to Rain's mouth. He doesn't even have to ask. Rain licks a sloppy path up Dew's palm.

Dew wraps his slick hand around both of them. Rain's wet already, dripping precum, making the slide even easier. Dew covers Rain's mouth with his other hand just before Rain starts to whine. He basks in the muffled noises, the shake of Rain's body against his, the way Rain grips hard at his t-shirt. Rain fucks up into his fist. Dew does the same, holding his hand steady and rolling his cock against Rain's in coordinated strokes. "Can't wait to get you in a real bed," Dew whispers. "Gonna take such good care of you. Get you so loud the whole hotel knows exactly what I'm doing to you. Make everyone jealous." Rain shudders, the thrusts of his hips going erratic already. "You'd like that, huh? You wanna go to breakfast the next day covered in bruises. Make sure everyone in the whole building knows how good I fuck you." Rain's eyes roll up in his head. He bites down hard on Dew's palm when he cums. Cock kicking hard against Dew's, cumming in thick spurts all over both of them. "Oh fuck," Dew groans. Rain manages to pull one of his hands away from its death grip on Dew's shirt. He bats Dew's messy hand away and takes over, stroking him from root to tip, slicked with Rain's cum and the mix of their pre. Dew closes his eyes. His head thumps forward to rest against Rain's collarbone. "Satanas, Rainy. I'm gonna, shit." Dew turns his head to dig his fangs into Rain's pillow as he cums, adding to the mess between them. Rain pulls him into a kiss as he comes down. It's soft, easy, sleepy. Dew has just enough energy left to pull his pants back up before he's drifting off in the circle of Rain's arms. He'll deal with the mess in the morning.

[hangmanbrainrot]

Payback RQ: He comes home from work in the middle of the night and tries not to wake you, and fails because someone that tall can’t be anything but clumsy at 2am.

this took me 2 weeks because i suck but here it is!! i hope it is everything you imagined. 🫣

warnings: swearing, technically home invasion implication, but that doesn't happen i assure you, umm marriage!, reuben is nicknamed ben at some points in this fic, kinda fluffy in the beginning, maybe this is a lil funny? maybe sierra successfully does a haha? let me know. not beta'd because sierra is lazy and has a headache. ignore the typos (if there are any?) if you love me. lots of self-referential third person here, ok. shut up sierra.

word count: 945

pairing: reuben "payback" fitch x reader

homecoming

In preparation for Reuben returning from his special detachment, you’d done just about everything you could think of to make sure he felt welcome back home. 

It started at the grocery store. You made sure to buy his favorite cereal, not the heart-healthy business he told everyone was his favorite. No, you decided to indulge his love for cocoa pebbles. Mostly because you knew he’d never ask for them or purchase them for himself. When you’d arrived at the front of the line, the cashier greeted you with a big smile, and carried on polite conversation. She tapped the box before scanning the item to place it into the bag. It was your last grocery item on the conveyor belt.

“I love these,” she made eye contact with you in a way that was lingering, a clear in for a conversation you’d only been passively interested in. It wasn’t the cashier’s fault that you were exhausted after a day of running errands. 

“Oh, I’ve actually never had them, but my husband raves about them from when he was a kid.” The thought alone put a smile on your face, and the action was a reminder of just who and what all of this was for. Your partner would be home soon, and nothing else really mattered much beyond that. 

So, of course, when you’d received a text later that night that his flight was canceled, you’d pouted into a pint of ice cream, and curled up on the couch with your favorite TV show alone. 

Sorry, baby. 🙁 I’ll let you know when I get another flight. Probably tomorrow. I love you

I know. Miss you. Cant wait. I love you too.

And then 10 PM stretched into 11, 11 into midnight, and midnight into 1 AM before you finally called it quits. You knew that, short of flying the plane himself, there was nothing he could really do. No use exhausting yourself for work tomorrow even more than you already would be, with the disappointment of falling asleep yet another night without your partner at your side weighing heavily on your chest while you tried to drift off. You slinked off to bed and retreated under the covers. 5 or so hours or sleep was better than none.

So, when your eyes opened at 2:51 AM, you immediately groaned. Usually, your body let you get a solid 3 hours in before waking you up. But then you heard the very distinct sound of someone bumping into the console table by the front door. It stuck out a little too far, so if you didn’t give yourself a lot of grace, coming in the front door, you’d barely just catch your knee on the corner of it — just enough to hurt. Your eyes met the clock again. 2:52 AM. While Ben had taken you through the many different ways to be prepared for an intruder while he was away, you never thought you’d actually have to use any of it. He was always the muscle of your relationship. He was probably the most easygoing person you knew, except when it came to you. From the moment he’d committed to being your spouse, he was all about you — in all the right ways. Knew how to support you without smothering or hovering, encouraged you to follow your dreams and pursue your career. And taught you how to disarm an intruder, with only your bare hands and… the curtain rod from the corner. Fixing it was a job for your husband, considering he was height and all long limbs.

Shaky fingers curled around the curtain rod, while you did your best Mission Impossible sneak down the stairs, to find the culprit who’d disturbed your sleep and your peace.

“You take whatever you have and you go now, and I won’t call the police,” you shouted as you inched down the stairs, trying to will confidence into your voice. “I haven’t even seen you yet, so it’s perfect. You’ll only get caught if you try to get greedy.”

You heard swearing — and you were certain that voice sounded familiar. Curtain rod grasped tighter, you and your curiosity practically leapt down the remainder of the stairs.

“Baby, what in the hell are you doing?” Your husband’s voice hit your ears and your shoulders slumped almost immediately. 

“Me?! What the hell are you doing, sneaking in the house?!”

“I was trying to s — never mind, can you put your weapon down?”

Brows furrowed, you lowered the curtain rod down by your side, before reaching out to lean it up against the nearest wall. One of your hands came up to rub at your eyes, before you folded your arms over your chest. 

Ben, never one to miss an opportunity for a wisecrack, quipped easily: “Aw, there’s that scowl I’ve missed so much. I thought I’d have to wait until tomorrow morning.”

Before you could fire back, he’d wrapped you up in his arms and tugged you into his chest. Jet fuel and citrus wafted up to your senses. Even as you settled into his embrace, you retorted, “Oh, don’t you even start. You scared me. I thought you weren’t getting in until tomorrow.”

“So, naturally, the next logical conclusion is that someone with a key was breaking into our home, hm?” You could hear the smile on Reuben’s lips when he spoke, a good-natured chuckle passing through them shortly thereafter.

“Shut up, before I start losing that loving feeling and you’ve barely been here five minutes.”

“I missed you too, tough guy,” he muttered, before ducking his head to press a kiss to the top of your own. 

[yelenasdiary]

Hi

For the Advent calendar

The marvel cast plays secret Santa and reader has Lizzie and wants to gift her something really special.

☃️ Secret Santa ☃️

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Summary: A special gift for a very special somebody

Fluff | 0.9K | No Warnings | 

AC: I lowkey suck at coming up with gift ideas lmao, I hope you enjoy this!

Day 8 | Advent Calendar Masterlist 🎄

When your past co-stars decided to catch up for a Christmas dinner party when everybody for the rare chance was available, it was Robert's idea to do a secret Santa. Everybody loved the idea, and you were excited to see who you'd be buying for. You loved the team, they were like a second family to you, you knew everybody all too well so the stress of trying to find something for whoever you were to get didn't bother you too much. 

Although as much as they were a second family to you, you were hiding a tiny little secret from them, from the world. It's new and it's beautiful but you and Elizabeth have been seeing each other as a couple. After working with her for a couple of years and trying your best to keep your little crush a secret, it was Lizzie who came to you and asked you out for dinner. She cooked for you both that night and admitted that you'd caught her eye the moment she met you on set. So, when Chris E handed you a folded scrap piece of paper and you opened it to see the name in black ink, you knew you wanted to get them something very special. 

"Lizzie" 

You tried your best to keep a poker face while Lizzie's name stared back at you from the piece of paper. Millions of ideas ran through your mind while you tried to think of the perfect gift for her. Even though the relationship was still new by 7 months, you really wanted to get her something very special. 

The following two weeks your mind was racing with ideas, you even tried to pick at Lizzie's brain in hopes she'd drop a hint of something she thought was super romantic, but she gave you nothing. It was easy to pick at her with the excuse that Christmas was coming up, she didn't seem to think much of that after. It wasn't until late one night when you were lying in bed, tossing and turning, with idea after idea then it hit you. Lizzie for months has mentioned a book she'd love to have, an old book that doesn't get printed anymore. Even though it was almost 2am, you grabbed your laptop and started searching. 

Keeping it a surprise from Lizzie was easier than you thought but you couldn't wait to see her face next week at the dinner party, probably the last one for the year and after that, you weren't sure when you'd be able to see everybody together again. Lizzie on the other hand couldn't help but tell you who she got as her secret Santa, Scarlett. She found finding a gift for Scarlett a little tricky as she was a hard person to shop for and Lizzie didn't want to get her something useless and settled for a day spa voucher for her and her husband. 

After messaging what felt like countless sellers, you finally found somebody willing to sell the book Lizzie had been talking about. For a somewhat decent price, you took a day trip to pick up the book in person, rather than having it be lost in the post being so close to Christmas. You told Lizzie that you had a photoshoot job out of town and an interview to follow up with so she wasn't going to question why you randomly left town for the day. The seller was kind and when they noticed that you'd been in a few of their favorite movies they wanted to give you the book for free, but you insisted on paying the said price and even added a little extra for the holidays. The elderly woman was pleased to meet such a movie star and thanked you for being so kind. 

The dinner party finally came along, you and Lizzie arrived together, hand in hand which almost instantly caught the eyes of your fellow friends. Robert being who he was, quickly pointed out the two of you with a wide smile while the others congratulated you both for "finally coming to your senses". You and Lizzie chuckled at the group for their jokes before taking a seat next to each other, Lizzie smiling softly as she placed a kiss on your cheek. After everybody had their main meal and were enjoying a few drinks, Chris E got the ball rolling and handed his secret Santa gift to Chris Pratt. 

Anthony got Paul R, Hemsworth got Gwyneth, Pratt got Mark, Cobie got you, Lizzie got Scarlett, you got Lizzie, Robert got Jeremy, etc. 

When it was your turn to gift your gift to Lizzie, you simply turned to her with a soft smile, "Merry Christmas, love" you handed her the book shaped gift in festive Christmas wrapping paper. Carefully Lizzie opened the gift, corner by corner, side by side and gasped when she saw the title of the book. "Honey! How did you get this?!" She looked up at you with a big smile, "with a little Christmas magic and plenty of tossing and turning" you joked with a chuckle. Lizzie gently flicked through the book with her smile staying glued to her lips, "thank you so much, honey! This is so thoughtful" she looked up at you once again before leaning over and pressing a soft kiss against your lips, the table of close friends making it obvious they were glad to finally see you both together.

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @natasha-belova | @kiwiana145 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @wackymcstupid | @mmmmokdok | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @wandsmxmff | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | 

[minibunz]

Not a horny ask but kinda wholesome(?)

I followed you because >:) JAZZ

But like, it's so easy to forget as a trans guy who's been out for a little while that we're like allowed to be sexy and fun and horny

I never see a lot of that in media or in groups I"m around and sometimes just don't let myself like,, exist in that way without giving myself shit for it(internalized transphobia ick) and going on tumblr and just seeing a dash full of hornyposts that like,, are unabashedly trans is healing to my soul. And also hot, but yeah

TLDR: Ur horny is watering my crops and feeding my dogs

(I know it doesn't really need to be said but no pressure to answer this or acknowledge it at all. It's just a nice thing I thought you may like to hear)

I’m,,,,oh my goodness anon 🥺 I hope you know how much this means to me like I’m tearing up in my kitchen at 2am and it’s not just bc this dbukbokki is spicy as fuck

It’s taken me a while to realize that as a trans guy I’m allowed to be sexy and horny quite vocally (on the internet) especially since just at the beginning of this year is when I realized I wasn’t a bisexual nb but a gay nb man so it’s been a lot of learning to still know I can be sexy and fun and horny despite what other people may think (transphobes/chasers/etc).

I’ll admit I’m still not 100% there. I’m in the middle of a downswing after top surgery- don’t get me wrong I’m so ecstatic I did this, but there’s other physical aspects that have changed that I personally have a hard time with (mostly weight but we can thank my mom for the ed) but in the end I know that what I’ve chosen is exactly where I’m meant to be

I also don’t see a lot of people like this in media and especially not my groups bc most of them,,,idk I have Styx who sucks my dick on the occasion but they’re kinda all I have in this arena. I know what it’s like to not see myself in these spaces while also dealing with internalized transphobia (thanks Christian school for 9 years & conservative fam).

I hope you know that you should absolutely say fuck it and be hot, sexy, fun, and horny where you want to be. I’ve been trying to do that more and honestly,,,it’s kinda fun xD I also just like to talk a lot as you can tell so I just live post my thoughts

TLDR;anon I love you please be unabashedly trans and horny and sexy and I’m sorry for the word vomit

[a-random-weeb]

Hi i saw today is the last day you will accept requests for the event, so i hope i make it 🙏

Name: Maria

Height: 5'5

Eye color: Dark brown

Hair color: Black

Personality: I feel like i'm slowly starting to be less shy, but i'm still a little awkward when i meet new people. Once i feel like i can trust someone, i do start to talk about myself more and sometimes about my family. I'm loyal and trustworthy like if we're super close, i'll always be there for you. I love making jokes and overall i'm a pretty calm and easygoing person. It's not that easy to make me mad or annoyed, but when i do i usually get over it quickly. Unless you went too far or something, then i'd most likely ignore you for a while. I kind of have a messed up sleep schedule, but i try not to wake up too late. The latest i wake up is 10am, and the latest i sleep at is at 1 or 2am. I just like staying up listening to music or watching funny videos on youtube.

Hobbies: listening to music, playing video games, finding new hairstyles to try, cooking new recipes, dancing and watching youtube videos.

I would like general relationship headcanons with Dazai please! Tysm btw ❤️ (sorry if this sucks, im not that good at describing myself).

ah, you're a little late for the event but it's ok! You can be my last request for this event.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

•Game nights together are very common

•Hes a total asshole when he wins

•he always wins strategy games 😭

•If you're really good at video games, he'll get really competitive, not to mention he's a little shit about it

•He loves how hard it is to make you angry, that way he can continue his weird ass shenanigans

•If you ever do get mad over something, he knows he screwed up...

•(And he'll even let you 'punish' him if you now what I mean 🤭😉)

•He really doesn't like when you ignore him (Pro tip: don't give anyone the silent treatment for more than a few hours, it's WAY to popular to do it as a prank or something, but it's actually incredibly hurtful and I don't think it's ever ok. (In my very much unprofessional opinion that is, do what you want with this information of my UNPROFESSIONAL opinion))

•He lives for your cooking

•I feel like he's obsessed with helping you do your hair

•He thinks your incredibly hot, especially with the French braid he put in your hair

•He totally learns to do hair just so he can do your hair

•He loves your face when you see how pretty you look with any new hairstyle

•You two totally have just-dance nights

•You both dance til midnight, then pass out cuddling on the couch, those are some of your favorite nights.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The event is over, I just haven't finished getting everyones request out so...

[wolfcake101]

headcanon time or smth

it may be 2am but im sorry i looooooove spark and winston's dynamic bc like. spark is normally so violent yeah? like, kind of morally grey but overall just terrifying and unpredictable

"yeah i dont really like anybody OH but there's this one little guy. this one little silly goobie woobie. he's my favorite person to exist ever and if you dont clap for him rn im going to drop a piano on you"

winston is like, spark's closest bestie and emotional support. usually she tries not to like, say this just outright bc she doesn't want to show vulnerability but she really loves winston's company. and she does show a lot more softness than usual since she trusts him so much

okay ima go resume my snork mimi....hope my headcanons dont like. suck

[tanushakyrano]

day 17: silent tears

i wrote this at 2am after downing a monster energy drink and i have no idea if it makes any sense. however i was out all day so! here it is anyway

characters: Gordon

additional warnings: house fire, smoke inhalation, descriptions of drowning

________

Gordon was a big ocean guy. That was an immutable fact about him. Even when he was a teeny tiny kid toddling around he’d been fascinated by all bodies of water and everything that lived in them. One of Jeff’s favourite stories of the boys’ childhoods had been the time that five-year-old Gordon had wandered off at the zoo and sent the entire family into a panic - until he’d been found, safe and sound, entranced by the stingray tank in the aquarium. He could still remember the soft blue glow of the lights in the water, the hypnotic movement of the creatures as they swam lazily by.

The childhood interest evolved into a fascination with marine biology. Gordon was shit at physics and math - at least compared with his brothers, all of whom were absolute nerds and majored in either math or a math-based subject - but he was excellent at biology and good at chemistry. Birthday and Christmas presents were overwhelmingly sea-animal-themed. His love of swimming came as a surprise to absolutely no one. Before his last-minute enlistment in WASP, he’d planned to major in marine biology too.

This was all a very long-winded way of saying that Gordon was very much an ocean guy. He’d lived in and around water for his entire life, what with swimming and WASP and now as operator of Thunderbird Four.

He was very much not a fire guy.

Which was unfortunate, given that he was completely unprotected and disoriented in the middle of a house fire.

Either the sprinkler system had failed completely, or the house owners hadn't installed one in the first place. The smoke was curling too thickly for Gordon to figure out which was true. Orange flame licked at the doors on the north-east and south-west walls; the light fractured and splintered amidst the smoke, smothering the room in dim amber and recreating exactly what Gordon always imagined hell would look like. 

Heat prickled over his body and pooled under his skin, sweat sticking his clothes to him. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. There was a third exit in the room he was currently in, one that he was moving towards even as the fire ate away at the door. The fire wasn't his biggest worry right now. That was the smoke. Gordon was keeping as low as he could and had torn a strip of fabric off his t-shirt to hold over his mouth and nose to try and keep it out of his lungs, but they were only stop-gap measures for a problem that was getting more serious by the minute. His eyes stung from the heat and the smoke, tears cutting tracks through the soot likely coating his face and blurring his vision. His breath rattled in his chest.

Gordon was an ocean guy. He knew that drowning was one of, if not the most painful and drawn-out ways to die. The increased desperation of trying to hold your breath for just a few seconds more in the hopes of another breath that will never come is consistent across many accounts of near drowning experiences. The brain holds out for at least 87 seconds before it finally gives in, the dangers of carbon dioxide poisoning and lack of oxygen greater than the danger of taking that next breath, regardless of the water that inevitably floods the lungs. Still more time elapses before death as the victim gradually loses consciousness.

In comparison, dying from smoke inhalation seems tame. Sure, the dizziness and stuff sucked, but he'll be unconscious before any of the serious symptoms finally takes him out. It's more peaceful. More humane - if you could call it that.

But Gordon almost prefers the thought of dying underwater. It's more fitting, somehow, that the one thing that has been one of the only constants in his life would be the thing to end it. He doesn't want to die here, alone in a fire in some house that he's never been in before and had never planned to come back to again.

So Gordon grits his teeth and pushes himself onwards, through the heat and the smoke, blinking away the tears that still blur his vision. 

He's not dying here. He refuses to.

[pikmininaplane]

As a little treat 🪄 and 🎀 :3 ( for the ask game ! )

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

I don't think I. Have any ? I mean, after I finish writing I kinda just tend to. Be happy with myself ? I celebrate by resuming playing games I guess ? X')

After I share a fic, though, I tend to just. Pretend it doesn't exist. Like I close Discord and AO3 and go do something else for a while. Y'know that thing when you pretend not to be looking at something so it will go faster ? Yeah that's me and hoping for comments 😭 Sometimes I post my fics right before going to bed in hopes of waking up to comments but that's stupid because. "Before going to bed" means like 2am for me, no one's leaving comments at that time :') But oh well.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Wesh 🫴 How do I even do that what I suck at complimenting myself help ??

,, I guess I do like the rhythm of my words in my short fics ? Like Main dans la main, my Kiddier fic, or my Angelo & Riley mafia mini-fic, or that one Hollocello cello mini-fic ? I like experimenting with that kind of short text, using symbolism, parallels, etc, and I think the result is pretty amusing to read :] A shame I can't really apply that to longer texts I'm actually trying to tell a story with :')

[sisyphus-prime]

DJMM or moon or sun

Oh uhhh

DJ

First impression - oh my god it's so big what the FUCK. That's actually terrifying, I still have hopes for this game. Wouldn't it be fucked if it was free in the main hall.

Impression now - DJ has literally no right to be this big. The coolest thing in this shitty game and so underutilized. What a freaky giant who just wants to party. Was it even affected by the virus shit, I bet not.

Favorite moment - walking into the arcade and seeing this giant ass thing. Visually sleeping with breathing movements, oh my god. Why does it need to sleep, I dunno, I love it <3. Probably immediately followed by it disappearing off stage when you flip the switch. What the fuck.

Idea for a story - maybe addressing the level of neglect this thing has. Look at it. Absolutely filthy. How old are you, why did no one clean you. Is no one cleaning your fucked up tunnel system. Are you a burnt husk now, actually, wait, i want one of those silly "we took the burnt animatromo and fixed it, now we live in the same house hehe, self insert silly" But with this fucking guy. The whole guy, lmao, he's as big as a house how do you hide that

Unpopular opinion - most humanizations suck. If you're gonna be all <3 over it, you can at least be all <3 over the giant enemy spider and not some hunk with 4 arms.

Favorite relationship - I think it would be buddies with Chica :)c. The issue is the only thing that mentions it is freddy. Which yay friends, but i think freddy is friends with everyone

Favorite headcanon - seriously impaired vision from lack of maintenance. Can't see details well, vague shapes. While stalking Gregory, if Monty is all messed up, it probably doesn't even know he's in there.

Moon

First impression - what the fuck, freak moments :D

Impression now - what the fuck, freak moments, and fanon has it wrong :D

Favorite moment - when I was playing, I was so fucking lost. It appearing on top of the bridge when I had to rush to the last generator was so fucking stressful. I'm a little bitch with horror, and it was 2am

Idea for a story - maybe an incident that led to thr daycare being on at all times. That's such an energy drain, it had to be major.

Unpopular opinion - it won't fuck you. Also it isn't evil.

Favorite relationship - it should be friends with chica :)

Favorite headcanon - it isn't seperate code from the daytime routine, but it functions on an entirely different runtime. So, you couldn't seperate them, and they can't communicate directly.

---

Sun

First impression - oh I bet lady sun person. Looks like a fun poster :)

Impression now - what the fuck, freak time, and fanon has it wrong :D

Favorite moment - SECURITY ALERT, SECURITY ALERT [slides down slide] WOOWOOWOOWOOO

Idea for a story - it's clearly not doing great with the kids, can we address the really bad job it does

Unpopular opinion - it is not your golden retriever boyfriend, it's a fucking chihuahua that's gonna risk wearing itself out from how much anxiety it has

Favorite relationship - guess what, I think it should be BESTIES with chica.

Favorite headcanon - it was written SECOND in the code systems, technically making it the younger half of the ai. It does consider itself a younger sibling. Moon doesn't consider it a sibling.

[knightbugs]

WORLDS WORST BAD BATCH LIVEBLOG - EPISODE 1

-- DISCLAIMER: this liveblog fucking sucks and to understand my thought process you need to either read it while watching the bad batch or you need to have every episodes events completely memorised -- the droids are silly

this caleb guy looks about 12 whys his voice so deep

holy shit is that the bad batch from bad batch theyre here in bad batcj

omg crosshair is there

wrecker is just heavy tf2 ?? <- guy who has never played tf2

NEEEEERD (affectionate) (directed at tech obviously)

i like this woman i like how she talks she sounds like kanaya from homestuck ? like how ive seen her portrayed. the way she says 'do what they do' as if shes saying it in quotation marks i like tgat

WHAT THE FUCK H.ES. THE GREEN GUY HE'S THEYRE KILLINGTHE WOMSN WHST THE FUCK hply shit she did a flip WHAT THE FUCK SHES DEAD WHAT THE HELL

hunter (i think ?) did a little slide in the snow that was cool

crosshair why are you shooting this kid

HOLY SHIT HE JUST KICKED CROSSHAIR IN THE BOOOOOBS

crosshair is stereotypical-queercoded-villain-core listen to him talking

why os it raining is this pathetic fallacy

OMEGA IS THERE

ADOLESCENT HUMAN FEMALE

longass alien lady hi

the guys aer arguing

'you WANT to sit with us? that's never happened before' they're just like me fr

WAR WAR WAR FOOD FIGHGT GO GO GO

echo is fucking died

gonna go to the hairdressers and ask for the hunter bad batcg cut

this fellas got goofy pants hes observing them in the lasertag arena

this is like ultrakill thats like the drones from ultrakill

THEY FUCKING KILED WRECJER NOO someon get him a bandaid STAT

i like the sparks frkm the guns

is there a guide somewhere to interpreting these hand signals i wanna do that

GET REPROGRAMMED BITCH

HE SHOT THE KNIGE INTO ITS FACELIKE THE ULTRAKILL COUNS THATEAD FUVKUBG SICK AWESOME SO COOL holy shit

i like how Sharp goofy pants mans design is

omega: let mecome with youuuuu hunter: you are literally 12 fuck off

how is omegas head thingy attached how does that work

Creature Noises ?!

tech shut UP about his programming

there's guys ???????? like a little village

i like how you can see techs eyes it makes him look less hostile which makes sense because hes a NEEEEEEEERD

crosshair is monarchist scum sorry ✌️

BNUUY THING LOCATED

bad batch ipad theyer like bts to her /j

WHAT THE FUCK HE SHOT THE LITTLE ROBOT GUY THAT WAS SO MEAN

i hope this doesn't make me start talking in an australian accent oh god

Oh there's a guy there Oh theres many guys

oh they're naked (NO armour)

omwgas in JAIL

crosshair stop being all edgy you little bitch. 'good soldiers follow orders' youve been propaganda'd so hard boy. you are not immune to propaganda garfield image

'youre angry' NO SHIT OMEGA ok he basically just said that

is omega their tgerapist now

bruuuuh they took crosshai

homeboys being Analysed

don't intensify his programming !!!!! bitchass

this is so unethical all of it

theres so much good textures on this sjow

their BOOOBS are VISIBLE

soery i will nevr shut up about boobies

PUNCH THAT WALL BOY !!

'try it again. a little harder.' THATS WHAT SHE SAIIIIID

YEAAAA WOOOOO GET THEIR ASSES

oh my god its 2am. fucking hell i need to get to snoozin

ok i will finish the remaining 10 minutes tomorrow morning. (i did not do that, i stayed up to finish it)

they done poked around in his brain !!

oh my god the textures on this. im going insane

ah hell no he sjot wrecker in the boob

OMEGAS GOT A GUN

did they just like. abandon crosshair. i mean fair enough ig itd be pretty dangerous to try to un-fuckup his brain or what ever

omega was forced to eat cement when she was 6

oh they know a guy

--EPISODE 1 DONE--

[angeltism]

random 1am ramble under the cut

ykw maybe this is just 1am aqua thinking too hard but there really doesn't feel like there's a proportionate amount of resources for beings who's relationships ended because things just simply. didn't work. vs those who's relationships ended in some kind of hellfire torment situation.

like, example, there's so many songs of "I hate my ex I hope uu die ++ are never happy again I hope uur goldfish dies ++ everybun uu know leaves uu" or whatever.. but nawt rlly any, at least that I've found, that are just. "hey, I know we wanted this to work, but it didn't, and that's okay but I still feel kinda upset about this because even though neither of us did anything wrong this still sucks"

all the more somber songs I find are often from the pov of "uu hurt me but I miss uu despite uu being a horrible being" or "take me back take me back take me back take me back take m-" but like... all those who weren't actually hurt, but still don't want to return to their old relationship?

and maybe it's because it's less interesting. less dramatic. a song about violent heartbreak can also be broader, fit more people, because relationships do often end in lots of pain and hurt, but idk.

still feels weird whenever I'm trying to look at edgy quotes or listen to music to healthily deal with my emotions and none of it really fits, it's all too intense ++ emotional ++ full of spite or heartbreak I don't even. have? does this make sense?

and it's nawt like I'm expecting beings to write songs for my specific experiences, but idk, I've known a lot of beings who've also had relationships end because of things that were out of everybun involved's controls ++ they generally seem to agree w me on this??

and it doesn't even strictly apply to music, although that's what reminded me of this, but in general breakups and separations tend to get consistently portrayed as "somebun did something wrong" or "both beings involved were doing something wrong" when.. yes, that is the easiest way to end a relationship, it's nawt always the case?

like.. most of the advice online for how to deal w a breakup I've found is through the lens of having been wronged or hurt, but how am I supposed to follow that advice when... that isn't what happened? and I do suppose that it might be partially because in a situation where it kinda just. didn't work. uu can only really let time heal any emotional ouchies uu have, but still, like. some "cheer uurself up" advice that isn't "key uur ex's car" or "go make out w the nearest living thing to show uur ex on how much better uu are now that uu've broken up mwahahaha!!!!" please? idk give me ways 2 remember the good parts and cry a lil in a healthy way. shrugs.

is this literally anything or am I rambling about nothing at nearly 2am

[skullamity]

It's actually Parsnip (the fluffy black cat) who is deaf! We adopted him in May when he was 6 months old, and we immediately got the sense that something was off about him. He didn't respond to sound at all, but it was very hard to tell that that was what was going on because he's incredibly confident when you would think not being able to hear stuff while in a new place would make him hesitant, afraid to timid. Our vet was like oh, hmm. Yeah. He doesn't even swivel his ears at sudden loud noises behind him, it's like it's not even happening for him.

Pros about his lack of hearing:

- not afraid of vacuum cleaner

- cannot hear bags crinkling so he doesn't come running hoping for early dinner every time anyone touches a plastic bag

- did not spend Canada day evening being terrified of neighbour's fireworks

- managed to stubbornly befriend Dusty who spent the first 2 months making mountain lion screams at him if he made eye contact with her because he could not hear how much she hated him

Cons about his lack of hearing:

- is all up in my shit when I am trying to vacuum in a way that makes vacuuming difficult

- does meow, but can't hear his own voice. he has one volume and it is LOUD, and if he gets lost in the house looking for me like the other cats sometimes do, you can't just like...respond to him so he knows what room you're in by the sound of your voice, he has to see you, so you've gotta drop what you are doing and go find him or he will just scream forever.

- he has the worst cat manners ever, because while he and Ham love each other, Ham is a sad babey marshmallow and when Parsnip plays too hard and goes for his ears, Ham won't fight back. He just makes the saddest noise I've ever heard in hopes that Parsnip will let up, but it literally falls on deaf ears and I have to rescue him.

- the other two cats understand words like NO and OFF. If Ham gets on the table while we are eating I can say Ham, OFF and he's like oops there's food up here, I will go. Parsnip cannot learn words and wants to see what we are doing all of the time. He learns nothing and I will yeet him off that same table every thirty seconds until the meal is over. He doesn't even want our food, just wants to see what's going on on the table, and does not seem to understand that being physically placed on the floor is meant to convey that.

- his favourite toys are the ones that cause the most vibration on the floor, which just so happen to usually be the loudest toys ever, and he will play with them at 2 in the morning.

- his people manners also suck. He does not understand that we don't like it when he climbs our flesh with his claws, or affectionately chomps our ears or noses because he can't hear our pained vocal reactions.

- soothing him when we are doing something stressful like clipping his nails is so much harder than it is with the cats who can hear us gently talking to them. He just thinks that every week or so we are mean to his feet and spends the entire time flipping the hell out. :(

Anyhow, here are some bonus pictures of thre three of them!

And here's Parsnip causing me to retire the small trash bin in my room :( I emptied it in front of him ONCE and he decided it was so great that he helpfully emptied it himself so he could get in it, every night for a week at like 2am until I gave up and got rid of it.

Hey who wants to see pics of my garbage idiot cat children?

Unexpectedly photogenic Parsnip (black long hair) and Ham (grey tabby shorthair with white bib and boots) cuddling at the top of the cat tree where they DEFINITELY both fit, don't question it:

Immediate top ten anime betrayal moment:

Dusty (grey and peach torbie short hair) and Parsnip chilling in a window together even though she find his deaf ass The Most Annoying:

All three of them are goblins, but for completely different reasons and in completely different ways. They're all super cute, though, so everybody should look at them right now!

If anyone has questions about what it's like to live with a young deaf cat (as opposed to an old cat that has gone deaf), feel free to ask and I will be glad to answer, but otherwise I'm not typing up an essay.

Bonus:

an extremely cryptid photo of Parsnip mid-stretch that reminds me of