#it involves an oc and people would get mad at me so

[blackaquokat]

First IF MCs Post!

So I've been playing IFs going on five years now, but I think I've only ever made one post about who they are, like, a year or two ago. They mostly only exist on the discord discussions or DMs with fellow IF fans because I also have no art skill (though I should post the Infamous fics I have in my drafts eventually--).

All that to say, getting a shoutout from @loveandleases herself (STILL RIDING THAT HIGH) has finally given me the kick I need to post about some of my MCs. This might open a floodgate for MANY of my OCs that I still yet have to talk about, so everyone beware!

(Picrews used will be credited at the bottom of the post)

First up, my Cam-mancer, Peridot "Dot" (last name tbd)! (Might change her eyes to hazel, but I'm keeping this picrew image for now.)

She started out very similar to my Infamous main, Genevieve, but now she's come into a life of her own. Has been hopelessly in love with Cam for most of her life, but resigned herself to just happily being his best friend (not knowing, of course, what the rest of us know about Cam--). Chris and Jade's betrayal stung, especially with what it solidified about the kind of people those two are, but I think a big part of her arc is realizing that she's not as heartbroken as she thinks she should have been about it. Then it's just her reconciling the years lost.

Anyway, she's a quiet, sweet woman, who normally doesn't mind not having attention on herself, but she's mostly become that way because of Jade demanding so much. She's also an artist, often preferring to spend evenings in the quiet, painting and sketching. I think she definitely has a stash of paintings she's made of Cam's pictures that she gives to him on bad days or his birthdays. She's a passable cook, but a far more enthused baker. It's mostly a calming activity for her when she's stressed, though her friends and loved ones certainly enjoy the results. The Clarke parents still talk about her pear custard recipe, even after the breakup.

She's still relatively new, along with the other MC I'm about to share, so I'll probably think of even more details as they grow and as the game progresses!

Anyway, now for Jumana, my G-mancer!

Jumana (last name also tbd) goes back to my usual trend with making MCs: she's of Lebanese heritage. She's a departure, however, because she's got grey eyes instead of brown like I usually give my Lebanese-coded MCs. She also met G during her goth phase in college (it slowly just turned to grunge), so this is the look that eventually grabbed G by the throat. She's not afraid to throw punches, but will try to talk people down first. Unless she's mad. Then all bets are off. Someone will be thrown across a desk. She is Very strong, and Very scrappy and she will not be fucked with.

Anyway, she's also a Literature Nerd and is almost always reading, especially in inconvenient spots. It drove G insane, because they never seemed to see her study in public, so HOW was she keeping up with their grades--

I do think, however, she's not a particularly ambitious person. I think she got high grades like G and that got under their skin and their reaction tickled her so much that she just. Kept trying to get high grades so she could keep getting a reaction out of them. Honestly, if G hadn't been there, she might not have tried so hard in college. But she definitely had a crush on them well before they probably realized their own feelings. Losing G gutted her, they were It for her. Chris was absolutely a rebound, and maybe a bit of self-punishment. Maybe a terrible part of her hoped being with Chris would one day get G angry enough to come back to her life, tell her to be with them, not Chris.

Now that Chris and Jade have royally betrayed her? Well. Jumana has ideas for making their lives miserable without her actually getting involved with them again, and that goes for her parents too, for their own betrayal--

I'm sure I'll think of more as time goes on, but in the meantime, these are my gals! Can't wait to see how they fit into the game!

Picrew used for the images:

[snowball-maltese]

I want to post my Ikutsuki art and stuff more but most of it wouldn’t be allowed on this site/I would be executed so it’s all staying locked away from the internet forever (probably)

[amiaclone]

Oh hello! I love the way you write, could you write something like the reader is pregnant by player 333 and he protects her no matter what in the games,ty ✨️

YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR PLAYER 333

Soo since this is basically just Junhee I’m gonna add a bit more to the plot if you don’t mind!

You were in the first games like Gi hun you didn’t win although you escaped after you lost at one of the games (let’s say marbles) was living with Gi hun for a good while then moved out etc met Lee Myung gi (player 333) got you pregnant did the scam etc anyways you wanted to help Gi hun but not get involved but Front man kidnapped you anyways for fun and well….here you are

Since I like Junhee I don’t wanna erase her so she’s like a spy or sm 😔 a whole different plot but interesting still

Anyways here it is!

Lee Myung Gi x Fem! Reader

You sighed in annoyance as your ex came to bother you about if you were okay or needed anything the usual

You didn’t even wanna be here but be with him? No way!

You won’t lie you *did* need help in a place like this but with him? No way!

“Do you need my extra milk? A place like this isn’t fit for someone like you! Bla bla bla” that’s all he ever said

Myung gi and you used to be one of those lovey dovey couples who you’d think would get married or something…..it could of happened if he didn’t end up with you losing your money and ghosting you

For the money? Meh you didn’t care as Gi hun managed to pay off your debts but ghosting? That was cold you called almost everyday and received little knowledge……yeah he deserves what’s coming to him

Currently it was after red light green light and he was bothering you about a new thing!

“You played these games before and never told me?”

You rolled your eyes “Yeah cause telling someone I was kidnapped and forced to play children games and could die is so believable”

He shook his head “Yeah well things like this aren’t just things you can forget about! How did you leave why did you go back-“

You turned to him rather harshly “Not that it concerns you but I don’t wanna be here just as much as anyone else” you sighed staring at your stomach for a bit your child could die here…..you could die here was it really worth it?

He noticed and stood firm “Well I’ll protect you” you gave him a small glare

“How am I supposed to know I can trust you?”

He shook his head “Don’t be stubborn y/n in your condition if the majority votes to stay….your chances are very slim”

You sighed looking up at the roof “Fine. But don’t think this means I have forgotten anything”

He sighed smiling that you’d agree maybe this is a chance to finally make things up with you?

Cue to the six legged pentathlon

You teamed with Gi hun followed by your ex who’s been following you around the whole time like a lost puppy except the puppy is preventing anything from even looking at or touching said person aka you

So far you agreed to do Jegi as it seemed the easiest

“Don’t you think it’d be dangerous-“

“I’m doing it”

Luckily we barely lived even though In ho/Player 001 nearly screwed it over for us and you all headed out

Once again Myung Gi stood by your side you even cheered with him for passing it he smiled

Oh wait your still supposed to be mad at him you quickly erased that smile with a frown

“Well thanks for protecting me i suppose you’ve been nice…”

“Nice enough for me to finally show you I’m sorry?”

“No”

He mentally groaned he knew he messed up but he really did miss you ghosting you was a big regret but he didn’t want you getting involved because people were trying to kill him!

Well atleast you’re nice enough to try tolerating that’s a start…

Cue to mingle

You haven’t seen Myung for almost the whole game and to be honest you were getting kinda worried you were with Gi hun and the team you formed back in six legged pentathlon

The new number was seven you grabbed onto Junhee a kind girl who told you in secret she was a spy for the government (Cool plot might use it for an oc) who you’ve bonded with the whole time you were here

You ran but someone fell you think it was Young Mi? Anyways just as the door was about to close *He* walked in

Ah typical Myung gi smiled staring at everyone specifically you as he expected to be seen as a hero

Why were you kinda relieved to see him?

Which you agreed he did technically save your lifes you empathised heavily with Hyun Ju banging on the door crying for Young Mi it gave you flashbacks of the first games you didn’t lose anyone typically close you can recall but still a sad time..

Anyways Hyun Ju blamed Myung gi while Myung gi defended himself and begged any of us to agree with him which you did

“I’m sorry about Young mi Hyun Ju but he’s got a point we all would have died”

Myung gi seemed relieved and when you were all walking out walked up to you “Thank you for defending me does this mean we can talk? Oh! Watch your step”

He points at the wall when you were a good distance from it you rolled your eyes

“This doesn’t change anything I just agreed with you cause you were right”

Before he could say anything the last round started

It said 2 and he immediately grabbed you before you could even comprehend who it was luckily he found a random door barely and slammed it shut breathing heavily

“Thanks” is all you could mutter heavily breathing

He smiled

“As long as I’m here I’ll protect you”

And why did you feel comforted by that….

I loved this one smmmm we need more Myung gi fanfics! Hope you likeddd it

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

Saying No

Okay so a conversation in a discord server inspired me to make this.

You guys can say no to things. You do not always have to "Yes And" everything that comes to you.

Like. Usually when we talk about rping, we talk about saying yes and. continuing on the scene, not shutting interaction down. We're pretty lucky with how this rp stuff works where in character denying and saying no CAN work a lot better than in standard improv without fully stopping the scene and kinda shutting it down, but that's not what I'm talking about.

I've seen a lot of people who kinda. Accidentally start god modding or kinda burst their way into plotlines without asking and like. This is public rp! Anyone can join! But there is a certain degree where you gotta stop first and ask or just not say it.

But sometimes people do not think first and just do. Maybe sending a magic anon that solves all of your oc's problems. Maybe they have dimension hopping powers and are like "Don't worry! I've come to your reality and I can help you get away from your problems instantly!", maybe your character really wants a mega stone and you have plans to have a whole thing about them working to get this mega stone and learning to mega evolving their partner and then someone mystery gifts or pelipper mails the item to you immediatly.

You don't have to "Yes, and" that. You can just say "No, you didn't do that". You are allowed to say no when someone crosses your boundaries and is affecting your plot.

Is someone trying to involve you in their plot without asking? "That is not happening in my character's universe" Is someone trying to say they're just there at a crucial event with your character when they never asked? "Your character is not able to be there. Please delete that post".

Yes And only goes so far. There is a time and a place where you will need to say No, and that is just as important to RP as going with the flow! If someone's fucking with your plot, its your job to tell them to stop. People can get involved, sure, but sometimes people try and get way more involved than what you're comfortable and its okay to tell them to back off.

I've also seen people feel that stuff like Muse Mixup Madness or Pelipper Mail are mandatory things they HAVE to do? You don't! You don't need to do anything even if others are! So I guess this is your reminder that you can ignore pelipper mail and magic anons and just asks in general that you dont like! you can turn pelipper mail and magic anons off completely! you can ignore peoples replies to your posts if they fuck with what you have going on. you can tell people they did not do things that would fuck with your characters and story. you can just not do muse mixup madness when it rolls around. you can just not do follower special events. you don't have to participate in anything you dont want, and you dont have to allow people to do whatever even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Other people can do what they want, but you have a right to say no when they try to involve you.

[thalfbloodloser]

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

[plaidos]

im sorry people are being so stupid on your post about commissioning being part of art. no its not the same as drawing something but it is still a part of the artistic process. many very famous artworks in history came about in a very similar way as part of the patronage system even

yeah like i’ve never said it implied that a commissioner puts in as much effort or work as the artist who actually draws it. but it is absolutely a lie to say that their artistic vision & intent was not necessary in the piece.

if i commission an artist to draw my OC Swan, then not only does that involve all of the writing & design work i’ve done for her over the last five years, it involves me accurately describing how her clothing looks and moves, minute details about her body and backstory that i created wholecloth. it involves writing basically creative fiction describing a pose, outfit, context, design etc. usually over paragraphs. i can’t just say, “draw my OC Swan” — i have to be able to effectively communicate a lot of information about her and what i want her doing/looking like in the piece. and that’s a skill, it’s writing for fucks sake.

nobody in their right minds would argue that the person who wrote the lore bible of a tv show isn’t a writer, nobody would argue that the D&D player’s manual isn’t art because it’s just giving instructions on how YOU make art. art direction is an entire job that people spend their entire lives doing. you can misrepresent me to make it look like i’m saying “haha well im the real artist not that stupid painter lol it’s my idea they’re just the printing press” all you like but it obviously isn’t the same thing as “somebody who directs an art piece absolutely is a contributing artist to that piece”. if commission artists get mad about that, then i can only imagine it’s because they don’t respect their clients enough to consider their OCs, original writing, fanfiction or fursona to be art in and of itself.

[isa-ghost]

I think my final stance on the cQuackity finale is:

Should it have been done? Eeh. But is it valid to want to revamp what was previously done because the time period the prev happened in kinda sucked? Absolutely. As an artist, writer, and veteran roleplayer with 13+ years experience, I 100% understand why Q redid it and I respect that. He also has every right to close off the chapter of his mcrp journey that involved those shit people, especially Mr. Racist Ringleader, the way he did.

And with that in mind, the finale we got was the best it could be given... *stares at how, again, half the ccs involved with cQ's story suck.* Quackity shouldn't have to sit unhappy with something he did just bc he can't conclude it to the full extent it could've/should've been. I would've loved for him to be able to unpack everything he should've been able to. It just isn't possible bc people suck. At least Q cares enough to want to redo it in the first place, even if the redo maybe isn't better or whatever. Caring enough to redo it at all is more than could be said for quite a few ex dsmp members. :/

It 100% fit the character and people are being way too pearl clutchy about how not every character gets a happy ending. Listen man, I'm sick of mcrp stories ending with "and then I killed myself" too (/gen), but in cQ's case at least it's fitting. I haven't seen a single person that's mad about the ending suggest a better "happy" alternative that fits cQ as a character or is a choice cQ would Actually make. I'm not gonna write another whole analysis about why the ending makes sense again, go find that post. I could say more over there if it matters that much to someone, but I'm not gonna argue about it.

Also this might shock some people: *gasp* Quackity can do what he fucking wants with his characters. That doesn't mean you have to like it. What the fuck ever happened to "don't like it? Don't interact"?? I'm so tired.

I liked the finale and I think it fit cQ. It's not perfect by any means, but of the finales we've gotten after the tension of dsmp's fallout died down, it's a decent one.

People need to chill the fucking hell out, they have been WAY too hostile about the finale. I've seen people call Q a garbage writer, wishing he'd go broke, that he doesn't care about any of this (despite the fact that he was NEARLY IN TEARS because of how much these stories mean to him, especially cQ), that it was a ruse to plug merch, etc. Absolutely ice cold heartless garbage takes about Quackity. And some of them are from blogs who are supposedly fans of his bc their entire BLOG is decorated with him!!! Those are fucking nuts things to say about a guy you supposedly like!!!! You don't know someone's OC better than they do. Period. Fuck you, cope. I can't fucking stand people who feel entitled like that.

Anyway if you start shit on this post or with me I'm just blocking you. I'm not here to argue about this shit man, I'm just sick of people being so black&white and overly critical of shit so I wanted to air out the thoughts buzzing around in my mind so they stop driving me crazy.

Shout out to everyone who's actually capable of being nuanced and fairly critical of things they like without being a total fucking asshole that blows shit out of proportion and takes every little thing in bad faith to the furthest extreme.

[nyx-is-missing]

SUNSET PART 1

Or early summer!

Clarisse La Rue x Cassandra De Young (oc! Apollo's kid)

Summary: When Cassandra gets involved in a scandal early in the day, she goes to camp early.

Warnings: men....thats all i could think of actualy.

First read this!

Part 2 is here!

Cassandra De Young

Im fucked.

That's it, that's all i can say.

I knew it as soon as my hand reached his face and stinged, as soon as i heard a camera's flash, and as soon as i stepped into my mom's apartment.

Let's just rewind a bit, okay?

My family own a big business, that you already know by now, the thing is, when they reeaally want to do business with someone they go extreme, the most common technique is to get on the good side of everyone in the family, everyone.

They research, pretend to have things in common, to like the same things, to have the same views of life, and to make it more believable they always go for the person who is closest in age with them.

Usually i dont get involved in this situations because im younger than everyone else, the only teen in the family.

The thing is, this family also had someone around my age.

A 18 year old guy.....eighteen.

Let me tell you, i really wasn't going for trouble today, i tought he may be a normal guy, just with a little money, someone i could have a conversation with, drink some coffe, laugh and go back home and think "hey, not so bad"

He.was.not.

All he could talk about is how much money his family had, where he went for winter break, his pure blood horse, that only ate (attention to this one) IMPORTED GRASS.

Overall a huge dick.

But that i could handle, i've met people like this, i could handle a shitty talk for some hours, what i could not handle was having to go through all this with his hand on my knee bellow the table.

And here i was, spending one of my last days of spring being tortured by the fates.

"You're not paying much attention to the conversation are you?" He said, and gods that accent was almost making me want to jump out of a cliff, or push him out of a cliff, both would work.

"Oh sorry i was-"

"No need to apologize, people get bored i know" Not that he did something criminal by not letting me finish my sentence but, my gods every action coming from him its making me want to die right now "Its okay, i could find some way to make you focus"

Okay, im done

"Im gonna need you to stop saying odd shit" I looked him dead in the eye with a bothered look, and by the surprised look he gave me back i was 100% sure nobody ever told him to shut up when he was saying nonsense.

"C'mon, dont be like that-" he said trying to get his hand a little but upwards, and i only realized i slapped him when i felt my hand burning.

"Oh my gods im sorry i-" And then i heard the camera flashes.

Im going to need you to imagine the scene, my hand was still up, his hand was till on his cheek, and he had a scared look in his face, as did most of the people at the fancy coffe shop.

Do i smile now? Strike a pose? This one is definetly getting front pages at every place.

I chose the safest choice, got out of that straight to my house.

No..i did not payed the bill.

The whole way home i was trying really hard to think of something to say that was not going to make my family mad, especially my grandfather, but considering whe has always mad with something, that felt like a impossible mission.

First thing i saw when i opened the door of the penthouse was my mom, standing in front of the television, and sure enough, my face was on it.

She turned to me, but before she could even say something i started to explain myself.

"Its not what it looks like mom, i swear, i didn't do it on pourpose, let me explain please-" i couldnt actually read the look on her face, but she didnt say anything, so  i took that as a go ahead.

When i explained her what happened her face relaxed a bit, but not completely, and she had a look that said your grandpa is getting in my nerves because of this.

"I'll talk to your grandfather about this, but you need to know that the way you acted wasn't appropriate, there is cameras all around and you need to be careful...lets just thank the gods you didnt pulled out a dagger right?" She walked closer to me, and i knew she was trying to comfort me, its a pitty actually, i knew she didnt wanted kids when she had me, i knew how grandpa treated her when he found out, to me, it was enough that she at least tried to love me enough.  "You already have your things packed to camp right? I know you have some more days of school but ill call them and tell them you are sick, its best for you to leave earlier this year, then your grandfather wont talk your ears out...you okay with that?"

"Yes mama, ill just finish packing some small things...do i leave today?" I felt her hands on my shoulders, and heard a silent im sorry.

"Yes, but dont be like that, think that you at least wont have to see the news talking about you..youll just be there, with your siblings, eating strawberies and..whatever else demigods do daily, right?"

Like i said, it is enough to me that she tries, even when she isnt great all the time, i know people who dont even have this.

I nodded and went to my room, making sure not to accidentally hit a new sculpture, placed in the corridor.

I didnt wait for her when i finished packing.

I knew she wouldnt be the one to take me there, she never is, she has things to do with the family business, its what ive always heard.

So when i got to the underground garage with my bags i automatically searched for one of the family drivers, sure enough, he was there.

He was a nice guy, but quiet, i knew that he probably had orders not to talk to the family members unless spoken to, grandpa did this with all of them, i also knew he never actually knows where hes been taking me, he takes me there almos every year, but always stops at the road in front of the forest, maybe this sad look he has on his face its because he thinks he is taking me to one of those crazy wilderness therapies as a punishment.

Granpa would absolutely do that if he hadnt had to live with a great public appearence.

"Miss? We are here" He looked at me in the rearview mirror, i only realized i had doze of when my eyes met his and i blinked. "Hold on tight, im going to help you with your luggage okay?"

"Oh..thank you mr bell" He opened the trunk, and then the back door for me, extending his hand to help me get out of the car "thank you, again"

"Sure miss, just let me take your bags out and we are all set okay?-"

Another car dor noise made us both look to the right, to find Clarisse La rue, closing a taxi door, with just one big suitcase in hand.

Now, my story with Clarisse is kind of complicated, i've met her when he were, eight i guess, her family bought some shares in the family business and we saw each other very regulaly, and ever since then everything everyone told me about her is that she is a troublesome girl, that i should stay far.

But she was the one who realized i was a demigodess, and took me straight to camp when a monster found me, and she was the one who, many times when we were little, comforted me when my family made me cry.

It seems like she forgot all of that because she never even looks at me.

If you ask her, she has never even met me at all actually.

"Clarisse, you're early"

"Cassandra, you too-"

"Cass actually, i prefer cass" i corrected her, to wich she just rolled her eyes and muffled a whatever. "Thats all you are taking? One suitcase?"

"And you are taking all that? How do you plan on walking the whole way with all that? Im assuming he wont go with you" she said looking at mr bell, and its true, he could not walk the whole way with me, and i could not walk with all that alone...fuck

"....you could help m-"

"No, dont even think about it"

"C'mon Clarisse!" She didnt even answered me this time actually. "Arent you a Ares-" i looked at the driver taking the suitcases out. "A ares...type of kid? You will pass on the oportunity to demonstrate your muscles or whatever?"

She started to walk away with a bored look, did i already said fuck?

"C'mon ill do whatever! I- i dont know.. 20 dracmas!, no?, ill help you with the cleaning duty you'll eventually have when you fuck it up? I..ill do that AND ill cure you anytime you want, everyday, no matter the time!"

She stopped walking.

Yes! I knew it, one of the many problems clarisse had its that she likes to go out at night to train alone, and when she gets hurt she cant ask anyone to help her, because she would get caught

"Give me those suitcases already and shut up-" she was interrupted by a very happy me hugging her.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouclarisse!"

I felt her hands on my arms and realized she was going to push me away, so i took a step back

"Geez Clarisse, you could've just told me to back off, dont be like that... just take these and ill take those"

I said pointing to the suitcases, and saying goodbye to mr bell.

Can i already welcome summer and his crazy energy? No? Okay.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a joke about colors?

(This is in no way going to go the direction you think it will)

I (17F, though I was 16 during the time of this) used to have an online friend (23F) who I was really close with for about a year or two, and we'd talk and roleplay about a lot of stuff. Generally, our interests in most stuff aligned, and it was just great! I felt really happy having someone who would talk to me regularly, and there was a total lack of drama.

But the issue started when I noticed how she was lacking in responses in regards to /my/ ideas that involved /my/ characters, yet sent me really long (and, I'll be honest, stupid and ooc) plot ideas with her own characters. She never seemed to really give me any kind of reaction to my excited rambles about an idea. And I'll mention this here, I have ADHD. It's not like I was constantly spamming her, but whenever I sent ideas, she'd just be like "that's cool" or "do what you want". I really felt like she wasn't contributing to anything unless it was about HER. She'd even send completely horrible ideas like (this is just a random example of MANY things that irritated me) "what if my male human oc had a kid with your vampire oc and had to drink blood to sustain the child but refused to because he's a vegetarian?" And I was just like. Why are you so content with letting a literal baby die for the sake of oooh meat Bad™.

And after a while and a bit of arguments here and there, she also (though she claims it was unintentional) dismissed or put down my interests. We talked about ocs in love, I mentioned the Titanic dancing scene, and she immediately goes "I don't know about that, but Titanic sucked as a movie". I randomly mention that I've got back into Gravity Falls and ask her if she's seen it, and she says "No, and the only things I have was that girl being annoying." I inquire if she knows Captain Underpants, and when she says no, asks if she's interested in getting into it, to which she demands, "What is this about? Are you trying to get me to voice my issues so I can upset you and you can get mad at me?" As if the previous instances of HER putting down MY interests was ME GOADING HER INTO IT! Seriously, I can't even.

There were other issues that are equally as ridiculous and mainly involve me being just slightly childishly naive and her turning it into a Full. Blown. Fucking. Fight. And it wasn't even two-sided! I was never really ever mad. It was literally just her stupid anxiety and overthinking ruining our friendship. She often also tried to express how much she hated herself and demanded things like "am I being manipulative? Am I toxic? Does everyone hate me?" during these times, which was very frustrating, because she WAS being toxic, but due to her depressive tendencies, I couldn't even say that because she'd go off and do something dumb like harm herself. And like... I do believe people start to greatly mature in their late teens, but they ARE still teens. And I was 16. I couldn't understand why someone in their twenties was being more immature and stupid than me!

Anyway, our 2-year-long friendship slipped into the trash bag when one of our mutual friends posted "hi" and she (the Bad friend) replied "hi" with red, white, and blue hearts. Jokingly, I responded, "FRENCH HEARTS!" and she said "Dutch hearts." To which I said, "do u know how many flags r red white and blue".

She messaged another of our friends (who, may I add, is closer to ME and therefore told ME all about THIS HOE'S insane rants) and started raving in all caps about (and I directly quote) "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE ATTITUDE?!?!" Like, are you kidding me? That's your response to a lighthearted joke? To express dramatics and claim I was being an "asshole"? After I heard she said that to our friend, I blocked her on my main, and she proceeded to block all my accounts from all her accounts. And when she dm'd another of our mutual friends asking, the mutual calmly replied that she had acted immature. And then she had the audacity to go and say "it's actually you being immature because you only listened to one side of the story !!1!1!"

Like, girl, how do you expect me to have sympathy for your "tendencies" and "fear of abandonment" when you're the one pushing people away? I once implied she ought to get diagnosed for autism, because her lack of understanding things and how to not upset people in convos was really upsetting.

Sorry if this is bad. Idk guys. AITA?

[t4tpumpkinduo]

every day i mourn the fact that cpumpkinduo could have become the next gomez and morticia in this fandom if only people had read their relationship right

TEARING MY SHIRT OPEN NO LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY my 9/11 is ppl's bone chilling media illiteracy and it happens to me EVERY DAY multiple times. they're MATCHING in how bizarre and strange they are there's no nefarious malicious horror dynamic there's no abuse on either end they're just speaking in tongues!!!

it's weird loaded kinda shouldn't be doing this in public power plays, it's hiding the earnest want to be with eachother expressed through riddles and actions, it's cq eating cschlatts heart and saying he doesn't gaf abt him to a crowd he's performing for then crawling to CBADBOYHALO OF ALL PEOPLE (?) with cschlatts bloody bones in his hands asking about revival, it's cschlatt spiraling in manburg so bad that one of the things that gensrs destroys a MASSIVE chunk of his stability is cq shooting him (he dies frm this the same way he did during the FESTIVAL, another manic self betraying decision he didn't think would escalate that far), cq leaving, then him thinking cq planted the tnt under manburg (which was actually cwilbur ✌️ smthing cq tried to talk him out of. btw. cq who's entire deal is he hates being looked down on he doesn't like being treated as lesser spent an entire thing pleading with cwilbur to let him meet up w cschlatt. who he then doesn't corner or hurt and earnestly engages with in a clear plan tht would allow him to step down w/o harm. they make prenup jokes during the fucking meeting don't speak to me.). "you left me in my hour of need" WHAT THE FUCK. having GAY SEX in front of CQS DAD while he was ACTIVELY ENGAGED WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!! cq keeps the fucking jerk off book he kept the manburg flag in his enderchest cschlatt reaches out to CQ FOR REVIVAL despite having countless options he tries to keep learning spanish for him he's allowed to leave lnv and yet he keeps coming back so they can play board games cq is directly propelled into TORTURE on schlatts behalf he already has plenty motivation why was cschlatt needed in this plotline. can we get goddamn REAL

the fandom urge to scrub down every interesting dynamic into a one note dehumanized abuser prop and uwu poor baby blameless mush woobie KILLS me, and ESPECIALLY with how much people show their asses abt it. (i've said it before i'll say it again. why do you see addicts and brown people as inherently crueler meaner more sadistic abusers assaulters ✌️ and why am i killing you with meteors) it's such a disservice to everything involved it's so boring and one note and Nothing it's NOTHING. make ocs and stop bothering me.

like if it pisses you off stay pissed oawf idc.... t4t gomez and morticia cpumpkins is beautiful and true cschlatt stunning revived politician arm candy in lnv and cq freak weirdo who loves her so much and hunts people with bricks about it. like get mad if you wanna but they will keep kissing idk what to tell you

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 39 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

Don't be mad at me, ok!

TW- talks of R*pe, SA, Violence, talks of assault, (please let me know if I missed any).

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut , @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls, @lovememadly92 @lucyfromtheoldhouse @blueberry-ovaries, @next-autopsy anyone else please let me know.

It felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room. My body shook with each second that ticked by in silence. The room had frozen, I looked from face to face, each with its own horrified grimace or rage filled stare. I glanced over my shoulder, Bull and Martin still held me steady but their faces had paled in colour, Bull appeared as if he was going to be sick as Martin’s had turned from grey to crimson.  

No one uttered a word, the decision of what we were going to do hung on the Captain's shoulders. Speirs still hovered over the man, his glare set firm. He looked like a man ready to kill, and I was ready to see it happen. 

Speirs cocked his gun, the only sound that filled the room. I stilled. Waiting with anticipation, yes kill him! 

Speirs raised the gun to the man’s head, finger on the trigger. The men stepped back, turning away from the scene. But I watched never taking my gaze off the replacement, I wanted to watch the light leave his eyes. If Emily was really dead like he said, I needed to watch him die just like he had her. 

The thought alone almost broke me, he was the last face she saw. So many questions flooded my brain, did he drag it out? Did he make her suffer? What was she thinking of when she had died? The questions alone filled me with so much fury I clenched my teeth together so hard they felt as if they were going to crack. 

How was I going to survive if Emily wasn’t here? Speirs’ actions hushed my racing mind.  

Speirs stood still, raising the gun at the man, a slight tremor to his hand. I could see him fighting with his morals. But this was Speirs, the ruthless killer. Or were those just tales. The Speirs we had heard about wouldn’t have hesitated, he would’ve pulled the trigger without a blink of an eye. But I watched the Captain, as he stared down the man. The man that had killed multiple other people, had shot Grant, had raped my Emily and murdered her in cold blood. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t shoot the man who had done the most awful things to innocent people. So maybe they were just tales then.   

He pulled the gun back, the soldiers in the room letting out the breath they were holding. Speirs glanced down at his hand covered in the replacement's blood, he wiped it on the man’s shirt. Looking disgusted. He took off his hat, straightening himself. 

I couldn’t hold back anymore, I ripped free from my fellow soldier’s grip. Striding forward I took a hold of the Captain’s collar, I was foaming at the mouth with rage. 

“What are you doing?! Shoot him! Kill him!” Ron’s face remained neutral as if I wasn’t screaming in his face. 

“Malarkey, two wrongs don’t make a right.” Speirs slipped free from my grasp. 

“He killed people! He deserves to die! I thought you cared about Grant and Em?” I threw insult to injury, I wanted a reaction from him, he was too calm. 

Ron’s head whipped around as he stalked back to me. 

“I do care.” His finger prodded at my chest. “He’s a drunk piece of shit that should be held accountable for his crimes, killing him would be putting him out of his misery. I care for my soldiers, Emily included, and that is why I will not kill that man.” Ron’s voice echoed around the room. 

“But they're dead, he took them from us, so now we get to take what is owed.” I challenged him.  

“Have the MP’s take care of this piece of shit.” He ordered the other men standing around us, not giving me an answer. 

“Grant’s not dead Malarkey. His shot wasn’t fatal. I didn’t kill him, because I have every hope that Emily is still alive.” Ron didn’t let me utter another word, he turned on his heel marching from the room. 

“Grant’s alive?” Tab asked the Captain as he left. 

“Kraut surgeon says he’s gonna make it.” The Captain reported. 

“We have to go find her.” I tried to dart from the room but hands held me still. “We’re running out of time! Let me go!” But the man's hand never let me free. 

“LET GO OF ME!” I yelled, but Bull shook his head. 

“No, Don, we need to make a plan. You can’t go running off trying to find her by yourself.” Johnny said as the rest of the men nodded. 

“We don’t have time!” I argued. “She’s hurt, she’s alone.” 

“We know, but Don if we don’t think about this we are increasing her chances of not making it back.” 

“Don, we will find her, she’s tough!” Babe said from over Johnny’s shoulder. The rest of the men agreed. 

They started making plans of teams of people and where they would search for her. I sat staring at the door. Everyone’e voices fading into the background, why didn’t the two men who witnessed it say anything about her being with them. Why didn’t I check on her before we left? I should’ve had her with me in the first place. I was frustrated, and angry. 

How hurt was she? Was she still alive? What if she isn’t alive?

I felt like I was being suffocated. My breathing was shallow and fast. I was panicking. I couldn’t hear anything over my own pounding heart. 

“Ok so Lieb, Babe and Malark are going to go to the road.” I heard Johnny say, I didn’t even wait for him to finish, I was up and out of the room. I heard footsteps behind me as Lieb and Babe fell into step with me.

Emily POV:

“Captain Speirs! Captain Speirs!” I called running up to the man who had left the main building. 

It had taken me quite some time to walk back to the base after the replacement had driven away. I didn’t make it my mission to get back as fast as I could though. I used the silence of walking to process. 

I couldn’t really, it was too hard. It hurt too much. So I grounded myself as I walked, what could I see, hear, touch and smell. Every time I fell back into the event I would ground myself. For now it was something I would push to the back of my mind. The man looked shocked to see me, shit.

“Emily?” The man stopped in his tracks as I approached him. 

“Sir, is Grant alright?” I asked puffing from my run. 

“He’s alive.” He stated, his eyes scanning over me.

“Good! I’m glad! Th-the man?” I asked hesitantly. 

“MPs are sorting him.” I nodded, sighing. 

“Emily, he admitted he hurt you too.” He uttered softly. I nodded again, unsure of what to say. My left hand was clamped over my right shoulder, but I knew that wasn’t the injury he meant. 

“Right.” I hadn’t really thought of what I was going to say, I didn’t really think I was going to make it back. The last thing in my brain had been how I was going to deal with the consequences of his actions. I truly believed that this was my last night here on this earth.  

But here I was standing back at the base, in somewhat of one piece. 

“The replacement hurt me, yes.” I uttered. Ron looked weary, his eyes sunken into his face as lines of worry formed on his brow. 

“I’m ok though, I think.” I couldn’t see the one man who had been so steadfast in all my times of need, looking so distraught.    

Concern marred his face as I lied through my teeth. I wasn’t ok, but I was still breathing, that had to count for something. 

“Em, you don’t have to be brave.” Ron stepped forward, his hand coming to cup my cheek. I stared at the ground unable to look him in the eyes. I knew if I would I wouldn’t be able to hold it together. 

I took a deep breath trying to steady the swell of emotions that tightened my chest.

“I know.” I uttered, my voice not sounding as solid as I needed it to be. 

“Where are you injured?” Ron’s had still held my face, his fingers gingerly titling my chin up so that my gaze met his. 

“Shoulder, throat, cheek, I think that’s everything.” I stated my injuries like they were items on a grocery list. 

“He shot me in the shoulder, strangled me, and hit me over the head with his gun.” As well as violated my body and soul, but I didn’t add that to the conversation. I wanted to keep some semblance of dignity. 

“You need to be treated.” Ron replied in a monotone voice. 

I studied his features, his cold mask had slipped back and was set firmly into place, looking down at me as if I had only scraped my knee. But a flicker in his eyes told me all I needed to know, he was holding it together for me, but only by a thread. 

His stare looked ready to kill, the slight clench in his fist at his side before he flexed his fingers trying to shake loose the rage that rippled through his body. With each breath he took his nostrils flared, like an angry bull. Ron wanted to hurt someone, but he didn’t, for me.  

“The men are planning to look for you, I’ll tell them you’re back.” He turned quickly, going to head back into the main building. 

“Ron.” I called after him. 

At his name he froze, his back still facing away from me. 

“Let me tell them.” My voice was weak, I felt small again, I had been through war literally but in this moment I had never felt more vulnerable. 

Ron turned his eyes scanning me up and down taking in my demeanour. I stood straighter trying to show I was fine, but my face seemed to give me away. 

“I can tell them.” I tried again, putting some strength behind the words. 

Speirs hesitated before nodding. He marched off to where he was going in the first place before I interrupted.    

I took a deep breath before heading to the building I had been only hours before, happy and unaware of my horrific future. Funny how things could change so quickly.  

I made my way into the building, the foyer was empty, but I could hear voices murmuring. Following the sound of the voice I find the men huddled in the main lounge, before I can announce myself I am hit by a solid wall. 

My eyes travel up the figure I barged straight into, trying my best to hide the wince of pain that shoots through my shoulder from the impact. 

Wide-eyed and shocked Don stares down at me, looking at me like he’s seen a ghost. Babe and Lieb peer out from behind the man curious as to why he had stopped so abruptly. Their faces also pale at the sight of me. 

A tight smile finds its way onto my lips, trying to pretend that I am fine for the sake of the men who all look as if they are going to hurl. 

“Em.” Don says softly, moving forward slowly. 

“Hi.” My voice sounds hoarse, I swallow the sharp pain in my throat. 

“EM!” Web calls from behind Don, as he sees me, he surges forward with open arms. 

The sudden movement sent panic rising in my chest, I knew it was only Web but the alarm bells had already been raised. 

I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, as I gasped for air. My brain was only shouting one thing, survive! Survive! Survive!

I stumbled back, raising my hands to fend away his attack. 

“No!” I yelled hysterically. I pitched backwards, my back harshly colliding with the table behind me. The table tipped as the contents that were scattered over it clattered to the floor.  

My breathing was ragged, outstretched hands shook violently, the only sound I could hear was the erratic pounding of my heart. 

Web stopped in his tracks, watching me with concern on his face. As did the rest of the men, they looked at me like a wounded deer. 

I gagged, my stomach churning as it did so. I clutched my hand over my mouth and sprinted back out the front door. I desperately searched for somewhere to hide, I scrambled over to the hedges that framed the front of the property. Keeling over I emptied the contents of my stomach into the bushes. My hands clung to my pants as I reached, dry heaving until there was nothing left. 

A soft hand landed in the middle of my back causing me to turn around in fright. Don held his hands up showing me he was no harm. 

“Sorry, you startled me.” I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. He stepped forward again but I raised my arm out keeping him at a distance. 

“Just let my panic attack finish and then you can touch me.” I begged, I hated that I had to push him away but I feared if anyone was to touch me at that moment it would trigger another episode. 

I knelt to the ground gracelessly, my jelly-like limbs not leaving much support. My shook with such vigour it chattered my teeth, my breaths were shallow and fast, as the waves of nausea made my head spin. 

Panic attacks weren’t uncommon for me, but I hadn’t had one this bad since my mum died. After she passed I had at least one a day for years. With some anti-anxiety meds and some therapy they finally died down. 

I practised my grounding techniques, focusing on slowing my breathing and distracting myself with my surroundings.    

“What can I do?” Don asked cautiously as he sat at my side. 

“Talk to me, tell me a story.” I said in between my breaths. 

“I will tell you about this girl I met-”

I peeked out of the corner of my eye and a confused look pinched my brow. Don chuckled. 

“Just listen before you get upset.” Don looked over at me, his charming smile shining through the darkness that clouded my mind, a simple gesture eased the pain slightly in my chest. I nodded confirming for him to go on. 

“I met this girl on a tank. She sat up front looking nervous and a bit shell shocked, and for some reason I just wanted to make her feel better. So I asked her where she was from, just to distract her, but I also wanted to see her face clearly in the daylight.” 

New tears welled in my eyes, but it wasn’t from the horrific events prior. He was telling me about the day we met. Right from the start he had only wanted to care for me, he didn’t even know me. 

“We talked for a bit before all hell broke loose, I was kind of in a daze after I had spoken to her. The way she smiled and laughed at my jokes, that’s all I wanted to make her do, smile.” 

I was so focused on his soft voice I forgot completely about the panic that had been strangling me from the inside. I felt my muscles relax and my heartbeat steady. 

“Then we were tossed into battle, she had been ordered to hang back and pick up the strays, but then all of a sudden she was in front of me tending to my best friend. She wasn’t the nervous girl I had met on the tank, she was a force to be reckoned with.” 

“Don.” I whispered. 

“Yeah?” He paused his story, turning to look at me. 

“Thank you.” Reaching out I took his hand that rested on the gravel we sat on. We sat silently, our hands intertwined looking up at the stars in the sky, his fingers brushing over the back of my hand in a soothing manner. 

“Em.” He breathed, I glanced over to him, his brown eyes glazed over as tears brimmed. 

I shifted forward, kneeling beside him as I took him into my embrace. His arms wrapped around my back as he held me tightly, burying his face into the crook of my neck. Don’s body shuddered as he wept, my fingers tangled into his hair as I pressed kisses to the side of his head. 

“I’m ok, Don. I’m ok.” I soothed him. 

“I could’ve lost you.” He pulled back, his wet tears stained his soft checks. Don’s eyes held so much sadness it broke my heart. 

“What would I do without you?” The comment made me think of my decision that loomed over my head. Was I staying or was I going if the time came. 

“I’m here, I’m safe. You have me.” I squeezed him tighter as he sniffed, his hand stroking down my back.   

“I’ll let the guys know you’re safe and then let’s get you to Doc.” He pulled away, letting me dry his tears with my fingers. I bent down pressing the softest kiss to his lips. 

Don’s POV:

I stopped in my tracks, trying not to run into the person who appeared in front of me. My heart almost burst from relief as I took in her face. She wore a blank expression, her cheek cut open and bruised, blood had stained the side of her face, but there were tear streaks that ran through the crimson. 

She gave me her tight lipped I’m-ok smile, which almost always meant she was not ok. I could tell she wasn’t ok just from her eyes. They looked haunted and lifeless. Em’s eyes usually sparkled with joy and light, now that light had been put out, and it killed me. 

“Em.” Her name fell from my lips with ease. I stepped forward slowly, like she was a scared kitten so skittish one false move would send her under the table. 

“Hi.” Her voice was hoarse. Her eyes searched mine, even from here I could see the horror of what they had endured. Web startled all of us, when he yelled her name, running towards her. 

The look of pure panic etched into her features. That moronic idiot didn't even notice until it was too late. She clung to the table, her body shaking as she gagged. Em’s face paled, her pupils  were so big you would think her eyes were black. 

The “no” that wretched itself free from her lips was haunting on its own. But paired with the way she had shaken her head so furiously trying to get her point across, crushed my heart right there in my chest. 

She didn’t feel safe. 

Web stopped, finally taking in her demeanour. But it was too late, she was already out the door quicker than anyone could yell for her to stop. 

Eyes fell on me, but I was already marching out the door, sending a glare over my shoulder in Web’s direction. 

I came outside to find her kneeling on the ground, her body heaved as she vomited. 

Em asked me to distract her, the only thing that came into my head is the first day we properly met. She had sat right on the front of the tank, nervously taking away to Bull, who had been distracted. I watched her realise that he wasn’t listening and let her conversation die on her tongue. 

She nervously shook her leg, even from behind I could see her shoulders were tense as she tried to find anything to distract her. So I had, it was more for selfish reasons really. I wanted to be the one she nervously rambled too, not Bull. 

The whole tank ride we had spoken to each other, she talked so animatedly, her bright blue eyes shining in the warm sun and her rosy cheeks that flushed when I told her jokes. Em was the most beautiful person I had ever seen, inside and out. I think I had fallen in love with her then. 

But then I got closer to her, she made friends with my friends and I found she was the only thing that I could think of, day and night, it was only ever her.  

But I hadn’t told her all of that. I couldn't form the words. 

I sat beside her until she had declared it was over. Pain still haunted her eyes. I was losing her again. I had just gotten her back. I couldn’t lose her. I needed her. I don’t think she even knew the impact she had on me. 

I remembered one night when she woke screaming from her nightmares, she said she had felt selfish. I dismissed her idea immediately. Never had she ever been selfish, she gave everything to me, she leaned on me when she needed and I did the same with her. 

I’m sure she didn’t even notice when she was doing it. Her small jokes, the way she touched me gently, her look of concern and care, the way her eyes found mine in every room she walked into. We looked after each other from the very start.

Em was a light in the darkness. But even sunshine could be covered by clouds. 

I told her I would inform the men she was safe and then take her to get treated for her injuries. I’m sure they had questions, we all did. But she would tell us with time. We wouldn’t push her.

**************************************

Chapter 40

[s2pdoktopus]

Since I have been rambling here a lot I will also ramble about my dear mdzs children

So these four are made because I joked about populating the female species in MDZS and then I made more...

Disclaimer: I am not Chinese so these names are very much like when Anime grabs random names for English characters. They don't make sense.

First RongQuan

I completely forgot what Chinese characters I grabbed for her name (something that means melting, I think?

The design idea for her is that of a simple looking woman

She became a disciple because she wanted to and her father loves her very much he used his family ties to get her in. Upon entering, it became very clear that he has absolutely no talent for cultivation. This, and the well known fact that she's here because nepotism, made her the subject of many disciples' teasing. To compensate for her lack of talent she became a push over, doing many menial tasks to contribute to the sect. She's too tired to feel mad about the treatment most of the time.

Post-canon:

She's doing the same thing she's always done. Her mother fears that being involved with a sect riddled with so much scandal might ruin her marriage prospects. She thought about agreeing with her mother for a solid minute but ultimately decided that if men can't handle being involved with her as a Jin disciple, they can't handle her at all and politely rejected to do as her mother asked.

Lan FeiRi

I also completely forgot what her name's Chinese characters are. (One of them is the character for sun, I think)

Her design idea is that of a fairy, I tried to make her hair have the silhouette of a butterfly for this. It's also why I chose something that would spell FeiRi lol

She is a child orphaned by a demonic cultivator and adopted by a Lan couple. She cultivated a little late so her cultivation isn't as good as it could've been but she's average on power, overall. She exudes nearly the same tranquil energy as Lan XiChen. This is just a facade though, she absolutely loves it when people she deems evil get the justice she thinks they deserve, she can be sadistic. The ultimate two-faced individual, she could be smiling on the outside but seething on the inside, caring on the outside but laughing out in joy over others' suffering on the inside.

Post canon:

She absolutely hates that the grandmaster of demonic cultivation is living just a few minutes away.

(she has one of my favorite designs among the mdzs ocs I made)

Nie QiaoLu

Again, I forgot what her name means.

I designed her last. I didn't know if my designs are outrageous already so this is me dialing back down. But she looked too simple with straight hair so I made it wavy.

She is the strongest female cultivator in her age group, She is a distant relative of Nie Huaisang. She used to be a quick-tempered child but when the reality of the Nie cultivation sunk in, she sought to find a way to minimize the possibility of qi deviation. Instead of finding some new techniques she found Hanguang Jun. She thought, surely, by imitating him she will be less susceptible to qi deviations and so she went ahead and lived her life with such belief. As if the natural consequence trying to imitate one of the twin jades, her social skills were stunted and she is disconnected from her emotions.

Post canon:

She came back to rejoin society and the first thing she heard was Hanguang Jun's recent marriage. Her reaction was, "Oh. Congratulations to him, I guess?" She's still unaware of the things happening around her. Someone needs to anchor her to the ground. (Her head is so empty she might just float away, never to be seen again...)

Ok. The Jiang kids I made plenty of first of all:

Yu Lilai

I do remember that her name is supposed to mean "beautiful future".

Lilai already has a whole post explaining her. She is my favorite to use of the bunch in the silly comic stuff I made because there's no stake in her. She's the kind of gag character you will see in an anime who has an eccentric yet loving and supportive family.

She's also my favorite of the bunch :3

I have no height chart for these kiddos anymore

Jiang Lian

Jiang RenJi (courtesy name)

His given name means "to unite" and the courtesy name means "sturdy foundation"

He is a distant relative of the main Jiang family. His great great grandmother left the sect to live a civilian life away from Yunmeng. He reentered the Jiang sect when he was eight because he heard about Jiang Cheng's story and felt really bad for him. He wanted to help rebuild his ancestral home.

He is the responsible and ever-so-reliable Shixiong! He is the guard dog to the sheeps that are the baby disciples. Though he lacks Lilai's talent in combat or XinXue's silver tongue, he is the person the baby disciples trust the most. A sturdy leader, fitting his name.

Xiao XinXue

You know how Wei Wuxian is abbreviated to WWX and Jiang Cheng is JC? Yeah. XinXue's name is just so it can be abbreviated to XXX. XinXue name means "new blood" I forgot what Xiao is supposed to mean though.

Her family was killed by demonic cultivators and Jiang Cheng saved her. She is also the first orphan the Jiang sect save whom they eventually took in as a disciple.

. She harbors a deep hatred for demonic cultivation and doesn't think anything is wrong with punishing them. In essence she represents the irl people who just hate Wei Wuxian and an answer to people who think demonic cultivation users are just poor unfortunate souls who had no choice.

She's wrong in some points and justified in other points. No one is telling her to let go of her anger but her friends, Lilai especially, are quick to tell her that she needs to direct that anger to the right place (and not to a man who was dead during the death of her family). She goes to RenJi to vent whenever she needs it.

(and RenJi is always there to tell Lilai that she really needs to be more gentle with her wording)

She's usually very mischievous. It's difficult to be mad at her because seeing her happy is a far cry from the catatonic girl they nursed back to consciousness. Surprisingly, she is the most nurturing of the disciples. It's an unspoken agreement that she handles the other traumatized kids they will save.

I planned to make more characters with funny abbreviations like, XD, LOL, OWO, etc but it's tiring to look for Chinese characters...

Finally, the nebulous existence of

Jiang Xie

She never had a name first, then someone asked and I had to give her a name. Then I forgot what the name was and I have no internet to look. For the first time she's gonna get referred to by name in a drawing so I just put Xie and was done with it. Then I forgot that it was Xie lol. I finally looked up Chinese characters to make names for others and I named her MiFu (overflowing blessing, something like that) then I saw the comic again where she is Xie and well Xie it is. Thankfully it could mean harmony which fit her despite her chaotic tendencies.

She was never planned to be anything beyond the first comic thingy. As someone who only watched the worst version (the anime/manhua) finding out that the temple scene is different from what really happened, especially people's outrage about it compelled me to both make something silly about it that can comfort the traumatized grape. Lol.

Then some people really liked her, I did have some not funny ideas in my head so I just drew that. Sometimes others would comment stuff that gave me ideas so I made those. In a sense she's a group effort I guess. She just developed like that. She is a joke character at her very core though. I wanted to hit a balance of funny innocent children stuff without making her just a walking ball of gags.

Ultimately she's a good kid who likes helping people by suggesting solutions only children would think of (Jin Ling has no dad? Swear brotherhood with her so they can share her dad!) It usually doesn't help but it makes the receiver of the advice feel better more often than not. Promising to break the legs of her loved ones' bullies is her love language.

[arendaes]

It's 5:30am, I can't sleep because I had a bad night last night and I need to vent.

Sometimes I wonder if not being more open about my offline life is to my detriment, because it never fails that I seem to attract people who see me as someone who's easy to walk all over. So many people I've known both online and off really like to treat me however they like, including being rude, condescending, and sometimes just downright cruelly, but the moment I have enough and draw a line in the sand they just want to wipe it away and tell me all about how I'm the one in the wrong.

I once had a friend who ignored my existence for six months and then got mad when I told her I wasn't coming to her son's birthday party. When I say "ignored my existence", I don't just mean unanswered texts; I mean I worked at a store in town and saw her in there multiple times. Every time I would wave and say hi while she was looking right at me and she would walk right by me as if I wasn't there. She knew I worked there too because we met working there. Literally we went from hanging out every day off we had together to that and still she got mad when I was hurt and just didn't want to come to a child's goddamned birthday party (when I have no kid of my own) because of it. The kid was only a year old so it wasn't like he knew who I was, either.

And online has been worse in a lot of ways. I made a friend a few years ago back when I first started getting involved in fandom. At the time I was resistant to the idea but now I realize I befriended him out of pity, because no one seemed to really want to be involved with him and he'd always been so nice to me. That was a mistake, because it turned out he was an alt-right chud who waited until he thought we were close enough and then started deliberately baiting me into arguments where he'd say horrible shit to me and make me upset and then fucking laugh He admitted it was fun for him to upset me. He stopped laughing when I finally stood up for myself and cut him out of my life, only to repeatedly ignore my requests for him to leave me alone. He would send me messages and like my posts, along with asking his friends to do the same and even writing a fic about one of my favorite characters where an unnamed OC treated said character poorly (all while said OC said things that were word for word things I said to him in out last conversation) and posting it where he knew I'd see it. Thankfully his conscience got the better of him with that last one and he took it down just a few days after posting, but the damage was done. He's the reason my ask box is closed most of the time and I have it set to where only followers can message me or comment on my posts. I think he's moved on - I hope he's moved on - but I live with this ever-present fear he hasn't and if I let my guard drop he'll start again.

And this is just two of the biggest incidents in a long line of family members saying I can't have boundaries with them because they're faaaamily and honest conversations with friends about how they've hurt me only to have them turn around and blame that hurt on myself. I'm just...so confused about what I can even do anymore. It feels like no matter what I do I just attract people who want to use and abuse my good nature. Hell, it's been so bad that I typed that and immediately thought "are you good-natured or do you just have an unnecessarily high opinion of yourself?" Which I know is the brain demon talking, but sometimes it's hard to drown it out, especially when this is all I've ever known.

[thechaoticfanartist]

never meant to be your problem child

Gen

Warnings: None

Character(s): Obi-Wan Kenobi, Grim Kennet (OC)

Relationship(s): Obi-Wan Kenobi & Grim Kennet (OC)

Additional Tags: Post-The Lawless (Star Wars: The Clone Wars), Hurt/Comfort

Summary: while on mandalore obi-wan had to save grim from fighting sidious. she wishes he never got involved.

Read On A03

Grim and Obi-Wan remained quiet for a long time after entering hyperspace. Both of them were thinking over what had just happened on Mandalore, trying to process it all.

Grim was the first to speak. “You weren't meant to be there,” she said, quietly. “I'm sorry, I almost got you killed.”

He was never supposed to have fought Sidious. She had caused that to change, it was the only thing she had changed on that mission.

“You weren't supposed to be there either,” he replied. “I was supposed to go on my own to begin with.”

“You weren't supposed to go at all according to the Council,” she retorted. “But that's not what I'm talking about. Never once were you ever supposed to have fought Sidious, and I'm sorry that I caused that to change.”

“You shouldn't have been fighting Sidious either, and he implied that you have fought before.”

“Because we have,” she whispered. “I'm sorry Obi-Wan, I know I should have told you sooner. I was just afraid of what you would think. Are…are you mad at me?”

Obi-Wan turned to look at her. His expression was serious, but his eyes were gentle and kind. “I'm not mad, Padawan. But I am worried. Until now, nobody on the Council has ever fought Sidious, and you have fought him multiple times. The fact that you're still alive-”

“I'm only still alive because he wants me alive. I should be dead. I should have been killed a long time ago.”

“How long ago, Grim? When did you first fight him?”

She looked away, “I'm sorry, Master.”

“Grim…”

“You should be mad at me. Why aren't you? I wasn't able to save Satine, and I almost got you killed!”

“And you think that's your fault?” He asked. “I went to save Satine so if her death is your fault it falls on me as well. And you did not force me to fight Sidious, you didn't know I would follow you.”

She was quiet again. She focused her attention on the hyperspace through the viewport of the ship.

“You can't control what other people do,” he said. “I made a choice to save you from Sidious, and it almost killed me, but that isn't on you. I made a choice to go to Mandalore to save Satine, and I fell for Maul’s trap, despite you trying to warn me, that isn't on you.”

“That doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't have been there to fight Sidious, you should have already been escaping Mandalore.”

“Without you?” He asked.

“Yes, without me!” She snapped, looking back at him. “When was the last time I actually changed anything significant?”

“And what would have happened to you if I hadn't stepped in?” He asked.

“...Sidious would have captured me.”

“Would you have preferred that?”

“If it meant you never got hurt by him…”

“Do you think that I think so little of you that it wouldn't hurt me if you got captured?”

“That's not what I meant.”

“Little one, listen to me, you carry so much, but you shouldn't have to. And you don't have to face all of this on your own. I am certainly not your responsibility, nor is anyone else.”

“Who else can carry this if not me?”

“How many times do I have to tell you? The burdens you carry are not something anyone can face on their own. If you shared the weight-"

“No. I'm sorry, Master, but I just can't. What I know, and what I'm doing would put others in danger if I shared it.”

“I'm afraid we already are.”

“I don't want to hurt you.”

“You wouldn't.”

“You only think that because you don't know what I do.”

Obi-Wan sighed heavily, he recognized he couldn't get through to her. They've had this conversation far too many times. “Very well,” he said.

Silence fell between them again. Grim rested her head on Obi-Wan's shoulder. She closed her eyes and smiled. “Thank you for saving me, dad.”

He smiled. “Of course, little one.”

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @andorlorian @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @keoxus @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @it-was-rose @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet @thebrainofocto @forloveofcodywan @mandalorian-general

[whetstonefires]

ask game for fanfic writers: 7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote (that you remember). OR 11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general? (yeah, I just want to listen to an infodump)

hi!!!!! lmao confession, the time lapse between when you posted that ask game and when i reblogged it from you was me keeping it open in a tab trying to send you an ask, like a polite person. but sending asks is, like watching television, one of those things that ought to be straightforward but which i find astonishingly difficult for no clear reason. so while cleaning out my tabs i just lowered my standards and reblogged it.

7. oh, this is a funny one actually! so this was around two years before i learned fic was a thing, so i'm in like the sixth or seventh grade. i had this really inexplicably intense dream about spiderman. i woke up and it stuck with me, you know.

so i was like, well loads of people write stories about spiderman, i don't need permission, i'll write it down and then it will leave me alone.

naturally i forgot over half the dream before i finished getting it down. but the plot definitely involved being stuck to the ceiling due to inexplicable spider-powers and a very strained conversation with spiderman on one of those external cornices you get on the fancier class of brownstone. i think whatever OC i was inhabiting was mad about spiderman existing and he was increasingly fed up with me being insane, but trying to be patient.

ig there was no plot. strictly speaking.

11. gonna answer these in reverse order.

so first, there's two classes of research for fic, as far as i'm concerned, probably because i spent too long in comics. there's general knowledge about real things, and then there's finding the correct reference points within the canon you're working from.

the first one i'm not that intense about. sometimes there's a thing i really have to Get Right so i go looking, or i'll commit to including something and then need to go read up for verisimilitude, but i generally do not get into the deep factfinding tunnels people talk about.

because i enjoy the process of learning and the process of writing, but i tend to find it very stressful to suspend the act of writing in order to pursue knowledge, so that particular constellation makes both experiences worse. so i'm more likely to redirect the story around a knowledge roadblock so i can keep moving, than really dig in to break through it, and i'm very willing to go 'okay that'll work' and return to the story if i do break for research.

rather than try to track down That One Datapoint, if i'm writing fic that requires or would benefit from knowledge of [subject], i will tend to do general reading on that subject, and then let my improved background knowledge and store of Fun Facts shape where i go with the story.

this is more fun and more likely to come in handy for other purposes later, and the writing result tends to be more natural. same approach with original fiction.

with the kind of research designed to get my fic latched into canon correctly, on the other hand, i keep trying to be more casual about this, especially for fandoms where the canon material is a hot mess, but i also keep regretting that attempt. because it lets me get a fic actually started rather than bogged down in preliminaries, but then i reach a certain point and get frustrated that this is a good fic except it didn't bother to be chronologically coherent and now it's too late.

i didn't write any ffvii fic until i'd played through the original game and taken notes, and i definitely don't regret that!

now, cool things i've found out...the first one I think of, i stumbled across an unexpected gem while browsing to brainstorm night hunt ideas for mdzs fic.

turns out one of the many many many many many archaic chinese words for ghoulies and ghosties, for which it's very unclear what the specific differences between one term and another were in any given usage, is wangxiang. translations proposed include both 'mountain spirits' and 'water demons,' but it's definitely some sort of supernatural entity, and an unfriendly one.

there's a semi-major plot point in the book where, when they were teens, Lan Wangji named a song he'd composed Wangxian, which is also their portmanteau shipname. which by his standards was a romantic declaration. but Wei Wuxian passed out, and didn't actually hear him say it. so whether it would have worked as a romantic declaration remains unclear lmao. lan wangji refuses to tell him again later.

i think a very funny element for an AU would be if he only almost passed out, and just went away believing the song was named 'wangxiang,' which sounds very similar and is a word he's reasonably likely to have relatively high in his lexicon on account of their job is monster hunting and his education is distinctly monster slanted, and was just like, 'what a creepy name for such a pretty song?? lan zhan is so weird lol.'

bonus misunderstanding points if he said it was creepy but didn't explain why and Lan Wangji was like i have been brutally rejected 😢

you aren't actually in that fandom though, so this feels like a lame answer. uhhhh.

for my Earth-3 fics when I put mirror Dick Grayson through a recovery/redemption arc and he was laying low in Europe to avoid both Bruce and Slade ('With Tongue of Wood'), i basically stuck a pin in the map and spun a dial in my head and was like he's in...Romania...working in a...bakery.

so then i had to take a hiatus to research Romanian bakeries and it turns out Romanian cuisine is in possession of many fantastic varieties of fancy pastry, and i want to eat them. it's been what, seven years? but still. curse of knowledge. there are delicious pastries in romania.

[u-friend-or-ufo]

My Story

Disclaimer

I do not want any witch hunt or harassment towards his family and friends when/if I reveal their username or their real name. I haven’t got a lot of screenshots of our messages. I do have some during the end of me talking to him and others. I may also delete the post to work on it more, with more screenshots if I can find them. Or, if I find this too overwhelming for me.

Also, if you have any suspicions on who this person is. Please don’t reblog this post with their username and/or their real name as I’m not ready to reveal it.

Throughout my teenage years to an young adult (14/15-19/20) I was in contact with someone who was in their 60s on Deviantart. As of yet, I’m not ready to reveal their username or their real name.

I started my own Deviantart account when I was 12/13, which is now deleted. For the first year I posted my cringe drawings and photos. During when I was 14/15, I started to Like The Beatles and the cartoon that they had back in the 60s and would favourite art and fanfictions of the band. That’s when I came across one of their drawings and posted a comment on it. I can’t remember who sent a note first. If you are not familiar with Deviantart, notes are like privet messages before the Chat function that Deviantart has now.       

At first it was fine, talking about The Beatles and different bands. Normal stuff for around a year like hello and how was your day.

During 2015 when I was 15/16, we got into an argument that got pretty bad. He asked me what year at school I was in and I said I was in year 11. He then replied with “Does that mean your 18?” I replied with No, I’m 16.”

He replied later with something along the line “We can’t talk anymore. Goodbye.” Again I don’t have any screenshots of our earlier notes. I was confused, why couldn’t we talk. Nothing was going in in a bad way. We argue about it. He blocked me, I blocked him. After a while we unblocked each other, apologized and continued on talking. This would happen a lot. We argue about something, he will bock me, sometimes deactivated his account only to reactivated, unblocked me and then apologise to me.

One time they told me that they had a dream about my trying on cute short dresses. I should have cut contact after he told me that. But I was an idiot and still talked to him.           

We talked on Messenger as well. He asked for pitchers of me. Not in the nude, nothing like that, just of my face. He said one time that he would get a tattoo of my face because I was so beautiful One time he asked for a picture of me and for a joke, I took and sent him a picture of one of my stuffed toys. He got mad at me for doing it and I apologies for the joke. I don’t have any screenshots of these messages, I’ve looked for them but can’t due to them deleting their Facebook.

We also did roplays together. Just silly Beatles roplays that involves some ocs of mine. However, some of the rolpays did involve some fetishes and kinks that I didn’t find sexual. So did some of the art work that they draw for me. Now, I don’t kink shame. If you got a kink or a fetish, then that’s fine. As long as you don’t push it on to other people who find it uncomfortable. Especially onto minors, even if they do have it.

Just after my 17 birthday, somehow one of the staff at the collage that I was attending at the time found out that I was talking to him. I do believe that one or two of my collage friends told them about us. I do remember one of them looking at my computer screen time.  They brought me into a room and asked me some questions. “When did you first start talking?” “Has he ever asked for sexual images of you?” One thing that they said did baffle me a bit. “Well, you are over the age of 13. This person isn’t a paedophile. Do you know what grooming is?”

They phoned my parents and I was allowed to leave early. My parents told me not to talk to them privately but I still can post comments on their art work. But I went behind their backs and still talked to them privately on Deviantart and Messenger.

I was pissed at them for telling the collage staff. I didn’t know who actually told them but I had my suppositions. One of these friends was 24 at the time, we meet in collage when I was 16. The friend group that they were in took me under their wing and we became friends. However, as time went by they wanted to be in a relationship with me. But that story is for another time when I’m ready to talk about it.          

When my parents found out that I was still talking to him after some months passed, they were so mad at me. Screaming at me, reducing me to tears. But after all of that, I still continued to talk with him behind my parents back. Being more secret about it and deleting our privet notes together. And, using other platforms like Tumblr and Twitter. That’s one thing I deeply regret, deleting all of our notes beside some last ones that they sent me before I cut him off.

One of his conversations with me was how I saved him from suicide by being there for him, talking to him. I was there for him when we would rant about politics and other Deviantart users. The fact that we lived in different countries, me living in the UK and him living in America. I would have late nights talking to him and roplaying as well. I would end the night by saying.” I’m going to sleep now, talk to you tomorrow.” And if I didn’t say goodnight to him, he would get mad. 

Another time he asked me to marry him, I was 17 at that time… Again, I wish I kept the notes…I was an absolute idiot for deleting them. When he asked me, I was out with my family and the phone I was using had terrible internet connection with the place that I was in. I didn’t reply straight away, I was shocked… I didn’t know what to say. I moved somewhere else away from my parents when he massage again. I do slightly remember what the message said.

“I’m waiting for the answerJ”

And like the fool I was… I said yes…That I will marry him… I didn’t want another augment to happen or them hurting/committing suicide . He was so happy… This was a man in his 60s, he was married, had children and even had grandchildren… 

In 2019 when I was 19/20, we had one last argument then I block him permanently after that because I have had enough of his threats and the way he was treating me. I then deleted my main account later on. I can’t remember if I deleted it in 2019 or 2020.

The argument was about me having an interest into Wicca and them finding out that I was in a relationship with my third ex-boyfriend.

Below are some screen shots of the notes that I kept from 2019. His username and mine are blocked out, as well as other personal information.

After some time he also deleted his main account but then crated a new one, uploading some if his old drawings.

Other screenshots

This one is from an email that they sent me during 2017. They had some suspicions that I was in a relationship and we had another augment about it. I lied to him and said that I wasn’t in one so that the argument wouldn’t continue.

These messengers are from Tumblr. I must have forgotten to block him on their. I sent him this message to him to him in 2020. I don't have a screenshot of the messages but here is it typed out.

What you have done could be consider as grooming. However, I do not think that was your intention or that you are a podophile. I believe that I appeared in your life when you was in a bad mind state and somehow have helped you. You did tell me that I saved you from suicide once. The reason why I left was the way you was talking and behaving towards me. You did not like the fact that I had a boyfriend at the time who you called a "fag" You didn't like me not talking to you for a day.

I don't know if your lgbtq+ views have change or not. I am Asexual, witch I have told you before. I am also questioning Bi-curious. You have your own opinions witch is fine but they have hurt me.

You called me a devil worshiper for having an interested in Wicca. For some clarification, Wicca is an Religion witch has nothing to do with the Christian devil. I did explain that to you but you didn't listen.

You threatened to hurt yourself and kill yourself if I left or didn't agree with you. How did you think I felt when you said theses things to me? What was your intentions?

I am sorry that you suffered from a stroke and I wish that you will have a full recovery. I don't know if you will see this message as well if you will reply to it. All I want is us the move on.

In 2022 he replied to the message.

Last year in 2023 I found out that this person passed away. I don't think I will ever forget his name so out of curiosity, I Googled his real name and found his Obituary. I couldn't believe it at first. I just stared blankly at the computer screen, my mind racing with thoughts. I couldn’t believe it at first that he was gone.

And that’s my history with this person. Again, I’m not ready to reveal their username or their real name. Not even my parents, my ex-boyfriend at the time when we was together fully knows what happened. Only my closest friends know and I’m so thankful for them taking the time for listening to me.

What I’m still conflicted on is dose this count as grooming? I do believe that used me as their own personal therapist but there is non-sexual grooming. I feel like an idiot for not cutting contact when red flags started showing up. That I blamed myself for getting in this situation. But another part of me says that this isn’t grooming. Other people have had it way much worse than you. You’re blowing this way out proportion.

I’m also worried about the outcome of telling my story. That people will say “Why didn’t you listen to your parents?” “Why didn’t you get the police involved?” “Why tell your story now?” Those are all valid criticisms. I just wanted to get this out of my chest. Again, I may also delete the post to work on it more, with more screenshots if I can find them. Or, if I find this too overwhelming for me.