#it hurts so so so bad im gonna cry
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no one should have teeth. society has moved beyond the need for our shitty ass teeth. everyone should just have all their teeth removed when theyre done growing and be fitted for unbreakable dentures instead. this would cause zero problems.
#MY FUCKING MOUTH HURTS#honestly im pretty sure its not even a tooth problem#its a sinus problem#and yet i still want to rip out all of my teeth in the hopes it would somehow help#it hurts so so so bad im gonna cry
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Before the explosion of stars 🌟
There was Orion Pax and D-16.
#transformers#transformers one#maccadams#doodles#phone drawing#kairukitsuneOart#fanarts#my arts#arts#megop#tf fanart#the new Trailer was LITTTTTT#IM CRYING Megatron(D16) is so CUTEEEEE#ORION BEING THE BAD INFLUENCE FOR MEGATRON#tf one#this gonna hurt so much when he becomes megatron#i want to see them explore the cybertron flora#orion pax#d 16
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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Ride 749: The last Straight Road*
(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)
Pag 1
1: I....
3: Imaizumi-san!!
4: Go- good work!!
Good work!!
You were taking a long time for this lap
Pag 2
1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!
Yessir!!
2: It's the tire!!
4: Only tires can get a flat
Ah- damn, yes, that's right
Right!!
6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these
Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them
Pag 3
2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?
Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....
3: You don't want to use the,?
We'll use them, thank you so much!!
4: You saved us, teh....!!
That's true
6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san
Earlier you said that
7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?
Pag 4
1: He retired
Pag 5
1: He's still displayed on the board, but
3: There's still time until midnight
If Sugimoto-kun....
4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!
5: Onoda insisted
6: Re... tired.....
Sugi..... moto-san....
Pag 6
1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated
2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time
4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh
Huh!? That? So at that time-!?
5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things
As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years
6: Soon
Pag 7
1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools
Yeah, there's still 40km
2: If we join our strengths....
Don't cooperate
5: Teh!?
7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends
8: Huh....
Our “buddies” stickers.....!?
You have to fight
Pag 8
1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!
Pag 9
1: Fa.... ight....
2: Against.... Kinaka-kun
3: Against.... Rokudai
4: 35km left!!
Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!
Do your best...!!
5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!
Amazing!
Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?
Pag 10
1: Fight....
2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....
3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!
4: And also
5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!
Pag 11
1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san
But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....
2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?
4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto
5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know
Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other
6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal
7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day
8: So I think we need it
9: Our third year Inter High members
Pag 12
1: Definitely need a “first year”!!
3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be
4: He accepted it, and fought
Pag 13
1: For the fifth place
3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!
That's too much food
4: Danchiku probably understood it, too
That's why he fought with all his strength
6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!
7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength
Pag 14
1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!
2: Straaa-
Pag 15
1: Straight roaaad!!
2: - traight!!
3: …. ngh
Ugh.....
4: Kinaka-kun.....
5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!
Pag 16
1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!
If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!
2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!
To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!
3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!
So, for that....
6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!
Pag 17
1: But, Kinaka-kun....
It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!
4: You knee? It's your knee, right?
Since when? Since a while ago?
5: Since when we were at about 800km
Pag 18
1: It's a race, Rokudai
2: You should have told me, teh
I didn't notice, teh!!
3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....
4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race
6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race
7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore
So, once again...
Pag 19
1: It's a race, Rokudai!!
3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!
I can't, teh
4: Race me, pedal!!
I don't want to, teh....
5: Fight me!!
I won't pedal, teh
Pag 20
1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh
Pag 22
1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 749#the tags arent enough for the essay i want and need to write about this chapter#most painful chapter but also one of the best chapter of the whole manga imho#IVE BEEN CRYING SINCE YESTRDAY WTF WATANABE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES#YOU NEED TO PAY FOR MY THERAPY NOW#kinaka and roku's relationship is probably the most wholesome in the whole manga i love them so much#and this chap HURT SO BAD OH MY GOD#kinakaaaaa you're so strong for this ;A; the way he didnt want to tell roku about his knee bc he knew that roku would break#the way he even tried to provoke him to push him to race!! and he says he didnt want to lose against him again! but!!#He actually doesnt care about that anymore!!! hes just doing this for rokudai!!!#And rokuuuu!!! baby boy ;A; hes the purest boy ever!!! He didnt want to win like this against kinaka he didnt want to leave him behind ;A;#leave me alone im gonna cry forever ;A; (no actually dont leave me alone keep me company in my suffering plz)#page 21 is forever ingraved in my soul#even tho imaizumi told them not to cooperate in the end they did support each other until the last moment ;A;#(on a lighter not im happy that we finally have a reason for the race btwn sugimoto and danchiku - they both knew the team needed a first#year* so only one of them could be on the team)
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#vent#why cant i get used to things#like why am i crying this isnt something not normal you do this all the time#i dont want to#i feel like a fucking kid wtf why am i crying#get over urself nothings gonna work out#i dont get it when do stuff stop hurting??? because i hate this so much#i hate everything i hate my life rn i really really truly wish i was dead now#i wish i was braver because then i could be#but im not. and i hate it#everythings just shit always and i dont understand why people are just ok with it. cant life be better maybe? i would like it then#and i cant so anything to fix any of my problems and idk what to do#i really dont wanna do any of these things#i hope i die i feel bad about it but i kinda really do hope so… even if its rude to my family i feel so bad about it i love them#but i fucking hate this
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oliver stark saying biphobic shit wasn't on my bingo card. what the hell
#sorry. sorry. i just.#i am so disappointed#im fucking crying 'cause this is not a great bi story anymore if buck is gonna fuck everyone just because he is bi.#so much for non-stereotypical bi representation#911 spoilers#oliver stark#god i wish i didn't love the characters so much so all of this shit wouldn't hurt this bad
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“You’re up early.”
She was, and the only reason for that was because Joel was way too loud making his coffee and getting out the pans to cook breakfast for her before he left for patrol.
Joel was never loud, especially never loud enough to wake her.
“I heard you,” she mumbled, trudging over to the kitchen still wrapped in a blanket. She pulled a chair from their table out, facing him at the stove. “Everything okay?”
He nodded.
Everything wasn’t. He dreamed she died. It was a montage of every time it’s ever crossed his mind. Her in that bloody grass. Her skin ravished by an infected child in an abandoned van. Her face ripped apart while trapped underneath Sam. Her body, cold and pale on an operating table. Her, her, her.
Every single one played clear as day in his dreams, tormenting him with every possibility his my mind could conjure.
“Joel-“
“Nightmares. ‘S’all it was.”
“Okay…” she started, rising from the chair. “You always have me talk about mine, so…” Ellie approached the countertop opposite of him, jumping up and sitting atop it, her dangling feet hitting the lower cupboards
He hesitated before turning to her, eyes locking with hers as he sighed.
She was right. She didn’t always go into detail, he didn’t need her to, but he wanted her to release them somehow; and at night when she clings to him immediately afterward, that’s when it’s the easiest. And when she can’t talk to him, she writes or sketches them down when words can’t- don’t suffice. Anything that keeps her from compartmentalizing how they make her feel or what they make her think.
But Joel. He’s always the one to take care of her that he’s never had an out or a way to talk or feel them in a healthy manner, not like he tries to give her. Ellie tries to get him to verbalize something, but Joel is a damn brick wall when it comes to directly talking about his feelings, so it never goes anywhere.
But when it’s 5am and there’s the tiniest glint of sunlight that starts to rise and offers a faint, glowing light to their kitchen as they’re full of sleep and still in the midst of navigating these feelings, it’s easier to talk. They’re more malleable.
“It was you…” he started, doing some lazy hand motions to try and convey the word he desperately did not want to say alongside her name. “Repeatedly. Different scenarios just…over and over again.”
Her eyes went soft, understanding in a way that only they could understand.
She had the same ones. He knew.
“Figured I’d make you breakfast now and leave it in the fridge for you to heat up later so I could get a head start on patrol and… try to forget about it all.”
Joel cleared his throat, kicking up imaginary dust off the tile floor as she watched him.
Ellie reached her hand out and made grabby motions with her fingers. Joel noticed, a light, sleepy chuckle escaping his lips as he stepped towards her, both her hands holding onto his one. He stood beside her, their hands falling against her knees.
She rubbed her thumb over his hand. “Are you okay?”
He smiled. He knew that meant a plethora of other questions that they didn’t have time to cover. “I’ll be alright, Ellie.”
She nodded her head, still rubbing her thumbs across his hand. “I know. Just… wanted to check up on you.”
“And I…” he started, leaning over to kiss the hair above her ear, “am happy you do.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder as he brought his other hand in, covering all three of theirs and squeezing tightly.
“Since you’re up, how about helping me with breakfast? Wouldn’t turn down your old man, would you?”
She smiled, tapping her feet against the cupboards. She squeezed his hands and kissed his cheek briefly before jumping off the counter. “Can’t say I didn’t think about it… but,” she said, opening the fridge door. “Not for the world.”
#this is#TERRIBLE#this started out semi good and then it got bad#cringe fluff anyway don’t look at me#but im dying a slow and painful death#*allergies*#so give me grace 😭#I thought about something like this in the shower#and it wouldn’t leave my brain#I read z’s sad fic yesterday I needed something to cheer me up#anyway.#yeah.#gonna go take nyquil and pass out#bc my eyes look like I’ve been crying for eight hours and my nose is running and my head hurts and my ears won’t pop and im coughing#and im sneezing and I sound like a dying horse!!!#the last of us hbo#joel miller#ellie williams#L writes
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I fell and scraped my knee in front of a large group of people
#rhat was so embarrassing im gonna cy#*cry#i heard LAUGHS and GIGGLES#its so over#im overreacting#101 rambles#mt knee hurts real bad now#and my tights have a hole in em#AND I CRACKED MY PHONE SCREEN#ill be fine
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me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now
#sophie speaks#the disability is disabling me and its PISSING ME OFF#just let me write bro its not that hard#aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#like im always thinking about it#drunk www!reader dancing to hot to go with the boys and every single one of them thinking about how bad they want to plow you as you-#jokingly flirt and wink and tease. and the entire time you have no idea theyre totally down 100% ready to go#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#if it gives fun dumb party vibes it is for www.#www is about the hot girl mascara running end of the night heels in hand look#hundredth thing i said www is about but like. something something the beauty of life and kindness and love and hope vs hate and loneliness#anything even close to that ballpark is what we want#gonna cry i geniunely want to write for it so bad i know im just complaining over and over but being chronically ill sucks so much#chronic pain sucks so much like whyyyyyyyyy cant i even go out to a cafe to buy takeaway in the car whyyyyyyyyy is the sun painful#its not supposed to be like that man :(#god i want another few months of my fibro going into remission pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee january february i loved you more than anything ever ahhh#nnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh#ill. ill get there one day#so says most people#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#maybe ill just put in like the next hundred words or something#chugging along#so fucking slowly but yknow. literally have to spend basically all of the day inside my room because it hurts too much to be outside it#so. maybe i can give myself just a little slack. the tinniest bit
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went back to the itsv deleted scenes and . it all makes sense now
#so thats why they deleted it..... to make it the whole setup for the sequel........ Wow.........#and the whole contrast where in itsv peter Wouldve encouraged miles to save the person he loves but in atsv he ended up not doing that#like . hrhhrhhrhhrhr you just Know he wants miles to save his dad too but he couldnt do both himself and thus the ''not always''#augh it hurts. it hurts so bad i need an hour to cry in my cave#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#marvel#atsv spoilers#dont think this is even gonna show up in tags bc of The Problem so dunno why im tagging it ... fjkj anyway#my post
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I just dont understand how everything went so fucking wrong so fucking fast in the span of two days 😭
#managed to not cry until now tho 👍#i dont know what to do#i feel guilty complaining/ venting about anything but oh my fucking godddd#its not really my business to tell but so im gonna be vauge but im the only income in my family rn#and my mom tripped and got hurt really bad Saturday and i cant take listening to her be in pain every time she has to move 🙃🙃#its not her fault and im not mad at her for it but i cant do thisss#delete later#idk!! dont look at me!!#i feel awful and guilty and bad complaining about anything but i think some complaining is justified here idk
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i think i just met an angel????
#like im so fucking serious#okay so i got my birth control shot today but i broke the two needles i already had and got really upset bc the bc is 50 bucks#and in my head i was like omg i have to go back to the pharmacy now bc I can't just waste 50 bucks of bc#and there's air in the vial its gonna dry out whatever whatever i was freakin out bc I've already been stressed and sad#and this was just the cherry on top of the meltdown sundae that's been gettin scoop after scoop for weeks#but anyway i was sitting in the turn lane for the pharmacy closer to my place#(they ended up saying i had to go back to the og pharmacy to buy needles. understandable. still cried more ab it#mostly bc my legs hurt really fucking bad and i didn't want to drive all the way back but anyway)#as im sitting in the turn lane this lady comes up and knocks on my window and at first im like “im not opening the window are you crazy”#but she insists and is like i want to give you money you just look so sad so i crack the window in case she's like. bonkers and this is bait#but she straight up just gives me money and is like “you just looked so sad and I've been there i went through a really bad divorce#here's a hundred dollars“ and then she runs back to her car#so i just kinda sat there in shock and also cried harder bc that's a level of kindness I've never experienced before#im still kinda crying on and off bc omg i swear i met a real life fucking angel. i didn't even see her get back into a car#but tbf i was crying really hard#i did eventually get my needle and got my bc injected but. holy shit????#that was the most genuine kindness i think I've ever experienced and i will do my best to pay that forward whenever i have the means#cause money isn't the main reason I've been upset but it certainly hasn't been helping my mental health either#i already try to be kind when i have the capacity#but i think im going to start actively looking for things i can do to make peoples lives a little brighter#im still kind of in shock it didn't feel real i keep thinking im gonna look and the money will have disappeared but no#that actually happened and im gonna try even harder to be a better person now#i want to do something like that for someone in my position one day#what a way to start the year jfc
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Crying over Comic Frank Castle
#when he saves a little girl and the girl wants him to take care of her hurts so fking bad#i love him so much#he is so precious to me#frank castle#the punisher#punisher#marvel#comics#crying#im gonna explode
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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out
#vent#its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything#i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just#im fucking tired ok#and I'm sorry im a bad friend#i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired#i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it#but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit#and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them#and they can lash out on me#i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not#last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend#it wasnt my fault#that friend ghosted me#im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too#but at the same time im too done to even really care#i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day
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