#it hurts more every time you watch it
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Okay, but look how they die:
Hardison falls. He's been teased by Eliot and Parker about screaming like a girl as he's leaping from high places. Then Parker realizes he isn't being funny. He really doesn't like hights. Them he dies falling from a height while Parker says, "I got you, I got you."
Eliot dies shot in the back because he's covering for Parker and Hardison, making sure they're safe. He's bringing up the rear.
Parker? Parker dies of a broken heart because Hardison and Eliot are dead.
So, you know this is why I'm not okay.
#leverage#eliot spencer#alec hardison#parker#family#I'm not going on without you#he's not heavy he's my brother#so when you rewatch you trae up every time Hardison doesn't want to leap#you tear up every time Eliot steps between#you tear up when Parker blooms in her little family#it hurts more every time you watch it
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thinking about.
being Jing Yuan's first and only lover back when he was training under Jingliu.
say you come from a family where the eldest child is always blessed with the power of an aeon or something, but in your case your constitution is a little weaker or they in some sort of sick experiment gave you more power than what your body can handle and it leaves you sick every time you use your powers.
but say you study in the alchemy commission and slowly train your abilities. maybe you worked as a nurse or assistant just trying to figure yourself out, and one day the apprentice of the fuckin Sword Champion of the Loufu ends up in your care and he's so sweet and handsome with his honey eyes and boyish smile and he makes you laugh, but you send him off that day and think that's that.
but all of a sudden you find that he is finding every excuse to be able to see you and it's so obvious he has a little crush but he's just so cute that you can't help but fall so easily for him too
you bandage his hands after training and kiss his bruises better when he pouts and he brings you the prettiest jewelry from off world missions with his master and carves your initials together somewhere on the training ground with his favorite sword.
you make out in the dark alleys of the alchemy commission and explore what it is like to love and to care for someone in a way neither of you have experienced before and it's clear to everyone how smitten you both are with each other
then something comes up and you have to leave the loufu for your home planet and when you are saying goodbye, he is not just upset, he is bitter, a little resentful because he never even thought about leaving your side, and he never considered that it may be different for you
you don't want to leave him, but you have to because you have responsibilities on your own planet and maybe you never planned to stay on the loufu forever in the first place
jing yuan grows and more people leave him, but he stays, and the pain never goes away, but it grows duller with him.
you grow as well and you are weighed down by the responsibilities of your family and you realize that your beloved aeon is not what you thought and you and your most trusted friends leave to find a way to free your people.
you turn to the loufu for help because you know that he is the general now and you hope that even if he hates you, you trust that he will be kind enough to save your people.
just imagine you request to have an audience with him and he is shocked to see you back, standing before him in the seat of divine foresight with the conviction of a leader in your eyes, as if you didn't tear his heart out of his foolish chest centuries ago and squeeze it rotten and dry in your deceiving hands.
but he plays along, brings your group to a meeting room and you are there pleading your case.
.
"If you remember, my body did not well receive the blessing of our aeon as it has previously in my family.
"I remember, I was very well acquainted with your body, if you recall."
He preens shamelessly, in front of everyone.
#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x y/n#jing yuan#this is but a concept#an idea if you will#simply put#i am in love with him and i need him to be in love with me too#smtng smtng abt jy being so much more bold than you remember and saying the most out of pocket shi#you're convinced that he doesn't want you anymore cuz you know you hurt him#and he's trying to convince himself the same but whenever he sees u he HAS to make some sort of pervy comment or he will kneel over and die#and it literally sends you into a spiral every time because i know he had NO shame#which means he will be spouting this kinda bs no matter the time place or whos watching#jing yuan x you#jing yuan x gender neutral reader#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#jing yuan hsr
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i love the bit from oct 17 2020 when tommy and quackity trapped wilbur in a cobblestone box to keep him from pressing the button... wilbur punching through the blocks with his bare hand to try to get to the button... tommy frantically replacing the block in front of him yelling for quackity to do something... the moment when tommy stops, blocks the exit, and tells wilbur to do it. press the button. but then theyd die with him. quackitys like "wait, wait-" but tommy holds his ground and wilbur. ohh wilbur. "why'd you have to make it so hard?"
#my post#this is just me rambling sorry i love that stream ive watched it sososossoooo many times from all 3 povs#AND AFTER TOMMY AND QUACKITY LEAVE....#wilbur replaces the button. i just need to know that its there.#and he goes on and on about how hes such a showman. how he shouldve just pressed it when he was alone.#but he just NEEDED someone to see him he needed someone to bear witness. guh#shaking. shaking. shaking. tommy put so much trust in him in that moment. he looked at him and said i know you want to hurt yourself but yo#wouldnt hurt me. and is he right to believe that? is he? maybe back in lmanberg maybe back during 'your life is worth more than the#revolution' but in pogtopia?? during 'wilbur wanted to be treated poorly so he treated others poorly'? it was a gamble for sure#and i mean as time went on tommy realized that. that as much as he cared about wilbur he couldnt trust him all the way.#but either way. in that moment i think tommy was sure that wilbur wouldnt press it if he realized that tommyd be killed as well.#that even though at this point people were saying wilbur was crazy. that hed lost it. that even if he didnt get it he knew something was#different about wilbur now. in that moment he bet everything on if there was anything of his brother left he wouldnt hurt him.#fucking. collapses onto the floor#disclaimer if anyone actually reads this far im not trying to slander pogbur in 2024 by calling him crazy thats just how like. every single#other character saw him.#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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Mother Mitsuki, who despite Masaru’s pleas, is way too invested in Bakugou and your relationship.
#pls I LOVE HER!!!#asking if you’re engaged yet every time you both visit for dinner#sending you wedding dress designs when you’re not even engaged#sending bakugou texts telling him to wife you up before you realise your mistake in choosing him and pick Deku instead#gifting the most inappropriate presents to try and get you pregnant#becoming the real bridezilla when you’re finally engaged and she isn’t even the one getting married#he turns up at your hen do to find you and his mum drunk as FUCK together#and he can’t help but shake his head at the sight as he tries to get you both back to his car because he loves you both so much#and he’s so glad you like each other too😭#she’s at the hospital holding you in her arms whenever Bakugou is hurt like you just share the same pain#but god if she sends bakugou one more text with your ovulation schedule he’s blocking her#(he’ll never admit that it’s because of that text that he bends you over— just in case)#and it fills him with so much warmth when he watches you both share memories of him as a kid— even though he was an ugly fucking baby#and like when you both fight Mitsuki always checks up on you too🥺because she knows her son can be brash like her#but she knows that he’s so in love with you and wouldn’t wanna lose you#she’s definitely caught you both having sex in his childhood bedroom too tho
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#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
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I love kyosaya so so much I have to resist the urge to scream anytime I see any form of content with them whether drawings, amvs, fanfics, AND I'M HOME..... I don't think I've ever loved a ship more than them tbh and that's saying something bcz I've loved a LOT of pairings...kyosaya is different guys in this essay I will
#I just. every time I see them I get really happy#even stuff where they're fighting bcz while it hurts to watch you know what's going to happen in the end#and honestly I feel like that just makes them so much more important to me#their bond is unbreakable they're soulmates in my eyes their relationship makes me wanna just HHHHHHNNNN#I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA POST MORE KYOSAYA FICS#BUT NONE OF THEM ARE DONE AND I DON'T WANNA JUST MAKE A BIG STORY FULL OF RANDOM DRAFTS I NEVER FINISHED :((#I want to show y'all the full stories... :'D one day.. hopefully
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I wish more media understood that you don’t have to include unnecessary racism in order to make a show more interesting or appealing 💔
#I literally just got so upset#bc I fucking loved this show#it was so satisfying and GOOD like I was genuinely interested every week#and boom here’s a shit load of racism that’s so blatant it’s supposed to be satirical#but atp it’s not!!!! it’s just tiring and frustrating cause we’re already living in these times!!!!#you think I wanna see more in the shows I watch to escape from that bullshit!!!!!#so frustrated and like actually hurt a lil bit LOL#that sucks bawls#tw: racism#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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Well, that is only if Fitzgerald has an endless stockpile of Q-specific dolls
#Look‚ Q's ability doesn't make ANY sense. Why would Dazai's ability work on the doll? It's an object.#The object supposedly can't be a vassal of the ability itself‚ only a person can.#Logically speaking Dazai's ability should only work directly on people.#But let's say the doll can be a vehicle for their person. Even then‚ how would that work?#Because the doll specifically gets torn every time Q's ability is used.#And you can't make a new one just like that‚ like‚ it needs to be /Q's doll/‚ the one that specifically uses as a vassal for their ability#Where are they taking all those dolls from? Or do they just sew the same one again?#(The last one sounds more unlikely‚ since then Dazai supposedly would have just took care of destroying it?)#(Unless there would be other consequences to it like perhaps hurting Q???)#Idk. I KNOW I'M A TERRIBLE WATCHER and this is all. Suspention of disbelief and I shouldn't be thinking about the logics too deeply#(because when you do. There's just no logic to it)#But this IS something that's bothered me since the first time I watched the anime#q#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s2#bsdrewatch2023
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oh there's something particularly painful about my mister in that dong hoon tells ji an that as long as no one knows, it's no big deal, and there's something particularly painful about how ji an tells dong hoon that sometimes, i want [my secret] to play out on big screens for everyone to see, and there's something particularly painful about how the second dong hoon meets the loan shark tormenting ji an, he starts screaming and yelling about how she's just a kid, how could you do that to a kid, and there's something particularly painful about how dong hoon doesn't even let ji an know he did that, but ji an knows. she knows because she was listening in the entire time and she just starts crying because someone actually knows this ugly, sad part of her and still took her side, and something particularly painful about how my mister started with as long as no one knows, it's no big deal but really concludes with there is so much risk in having someone know who you are but there's also so much comfort and peace to be found in that, too and maybe you shouldn't isolate yourself and maybe you should reach for that kind of comfort in being known and loved anyways
#caroline talks#my mister#if this is incoherent. it should be#rewatched the first 2.5 episodes of my mister last night#felt like crying my eyes out the entire time tbh!!#every time i watch this show there's just something about it that hurts me more and more and there's something that makes the messages#in this show feel more and more relevant#idk. thinking a lot about when ji an talks about how sometimes she wishes. sometimes she wishes#that everyone knew what she'd done and what had been done to her.#something about how ji an can't ever bring herself to connect truly with another person because of how much she hates#the feeling of people realizing what her past looks like#and not wanting to withstand the pity and also horror. like. okay.#something about ji an sobbing by the bridge when she listens to dong hoon pummeling that loan shark guy#and how i used to always cry at that scene but now i tear up just thinking about it#because you know! there's that shock (that firstly: someone knows your miserable secret. and secondly: they're still on your side)#and then absolute heartache because you don't know what to do with that information. you didn't expect it.#you're sobbing at a bridge because someone knows who you are and someone knows the scars of your past and still gets angry and sad for you.#and you still feel like you don't deserve it because you know deep down you are not a very good person (or so you tell yourself).#and. oughough. lee ji an holds such a place in my miserable little heart
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hmmm unfollowing and blocking lots of people
#this is raw in the tags so if you're easily triggered by mental health stuff don't read it!!!!!!!!!#last night i reblogged one of those asylum posts before i was like wait that's fucked up and i deleted it and i feel really bad#like i've been to a mental health hospital a few times i know what it's like in there and how dehumanizing it can feel#i remember everything that happened. and the things i saw and the people i met there. the time i was threatened with sedation.#watching you take your meds and ensuring you swallow them because you can't be trusted#the hard beds and them opening your door every 15 minutes to make sure you aren't hurting yourself#taking my clothes off in front of people multiple times to prove i didn't have drugs and that my self harm scars had already been there#and i'm seeing lots more and other mental health/lobotomy/asylum 'memes' and jokes and it's.... it's really not okay guys#you have to think about how this might make someone else feel who has been through this shit#it's reality and it's not a meme#please be more careful#jen talking to herself#ttpd
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I have a feeling my mom is slowly falling down an alt right/radfem pipeline on tik tok and it's scaring me
#being ao casual about covid#acting like people arent fucking immunocompromised#acting like those people should just ''stay inside''#saying a bunch of fucking gender essentialist bull shit#the other day she described something as being ''so boy'' (the thing was ten minute power hour)#and she has told me several times ''i feel better about you having a woman doctor than a man doctor''#and i mean any kind of doctor. like a fucking orthodontist.#she acts like men are innately horrible people that are going to hurt every woman ever#and i count as a woman who is going to be hurt. because I'm a perisex AFAB person.#and when i bring up terf and rad fem shit she's always like ''yknow they have a point'' LIKE GIRL. THEY USE THAT SHIT TO ARGUE THAT I#SHOULDN'T EXIST AND AM A TERRIBLE GENDER TRAITOR.#OKAY. DO YOU GET IT.#every month she becomes more and more dead set on this ideology. it scares me that one day she'll stop supporting me being trans#and i know so many people have it worse with parents who were never supportive in the first place#but it's fucking terrifying to slowly watch your own parent parrot the same misinformation that used to subjugate and harm you#it's scary being uncertain of when your parent is just gonna turn against you#it's like watching someone rot in real time#someone who has control over your entire life#tw vent
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bro the way merlin’s go-to way to show the people he loves how magic can be beautiful is with fire manipulation,,, im unwell.
#ashley rambles#merlin#bbc merlin#first with freya and the candles#and then arthur with the dragon#both times it ended with death. like how could this kid not associate showing magic equaling dying in his arms. every fucking time he felt#safe enough to show this side they ALL DIE. WILL. HIS DAD. LANCELOT. FREYA. LANCE AGAIN. ARTHUR. THAT ONE DRUID LADY THAT WAS CHILL#also not to mention how ironic it is that fire was his choice when thats the very thing he was taught to fear. everyone he loved also burned#in situations he no doubt blamed himself for. like will died saving arthur and merlin couldnt save him with magic bc of said prince#merlin could only watch as freya died in his arms sobbing that she felt so loved#lance died for him so he didnt sacrifice himself. merlin was more important than anything to lance and he proved it. merlin watched helpless#as lance decided to take his own life and he was powerless to stop him. to tell him goodbye. to tell him he needed him around#i made a post long ago where i said it was ironic fics make merlin afraid of the pyre when he was one of the few not burned in the end#AND ARTHUR. god. a dragon made of flame?? are you kidding?? can u be more symbolic pls. two of them shown in one simple effortless move#fire was probably a comfort to merlin. its real tangible proof of something being created out of nothing.#it burns and it destroys but it also provides a light in the dark. warmth in the cold.#just like magic. just like him. he can hurt others and himself but he also is such a brilliant light to the world. he is sunshine#and butterflies but he is also the storm needed to understand just how lovely the good is#why am i talking bye
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my sister and i are doing our watch-through of danny phantom and i've become. genuinely baffled at the hatred for the episode Double Cross My Heart
i was actually dreading watching this because i remember hating this episode too, and now i don't remember why. why did i hate it again? fdjnskfnjk
throwing this in the tags because i'd love to have a conversation to see what people think. maybe there was something i missed, or for those who are in the reverse position i can share why i enjoyed it so much
#danny phantom#double cross my heart#i don't think i want my mind changed. i just want to know why people didn't like it haha#but i think it's a pretty fun episode:#the characters are well rounded. everyone has moments of conflict with different ways of addressing it and all had a dash of comedy#there's a shift in the relationship between the trio that does not have an easy solution (at least until the end lol)#while the episode has sam's relationship looked at through danny's POV sam never loses her agency#and in fact sam is an excellent character! she has every right to be mad that danny breached boundaries by stalking her date#she's allowed to explore and date other people. and her standing up for tucker when gregor called him a loser was awesome to see#you follow danny enough to have to ask whether there really is a connection between gregor and the giw. do we give in to his paranoia?#and the layers in the characters:#tucker having to choose between his friends and navigating how to best support them while still having his own authority#danny taking his jealousy and instead of asking why uses anger and hurts the people around him. where does this insecurity stem from?#sam despite rebelling against society shows how deep down she just wants to be liked and seen. she felt understood by someone new#i'll argue danny was hard to watch at times but when sam put her foot down he listened. he stopped using his powers in a selfish way#idk i just had a good time and was genuinely surprised. maybe my low expectations made me like it more#qulo talks#wait skulker didn't get his body back nvm!! plothole!!! bad episode!!!! /lh
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*grabs your hands earnestly*
it's not about the Canon, that is not to invalidate any feelings that is to say we are fandom, our works are transformative because we take the bits and pieces of a something we love and we break it, take the pieces that speak to us a spin them into something that resonates, it's about the dynamics and the potential and putting characters we adore In Situations because the narrative failed them or it failed us, or for fun or for science or just because it's fucking hot, it's not that serious and it holds a certain gravitas
it's playing in the sandbox, pure and simple, beholding ourselves to Canon is the antithesis of Spirit of the thing
do you see?
#idk#im not tagging this anything#because this is not a call out by any means#its a lament#bc ive seen a few sentiments about how it hurts too much to ship it now#about abandoning intended fic bc the joy is gone#and look i Get that feeling#i was there gandalf#overly invested in nearly every major and minor subtext queerbait bury your gay sweeps week bullshit since 2005 And more retroactovely#im here now#and im not gunna pretend i didnt get zapped of a bit of that uppercase Joy with how certain things unfolded#but the shift in fandom of only shipping with the hopes of canon is wild#i saw the shift happen in real time like i know it was britanna that paved the way for what it is now#because i watched it happen#but despite the ache in my chest i always feel bc i am if nothing else overly invested in doomed femslash#i see such fertile ground to plant art and fic#aus and fix its#angst and canon divergence#the relationship is in ruins but isn't that a delicious place to tell a story from?#this is a fandom that produced 180 fics in a mere month#you all are so cool dont abandon that bc things got a little fucky this season#nows the time to rise gdi#we win by not letting them dictate how we play with their toys#i feel very old man yells at clouds coded rn im sorry
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Now we're nearing the end of my move (fucking finally) i can safely say that if i had not had the Song of Salvation on repeat for large stretches of time during this i do not think i would've made it through as well as i have
#jay talkin#like not to be dramatic but i really needed that damn song to grab my hand and pull me up so i could keep packing and tidying and going#obviously the support of my fiance means so much more than that and without him i do not think i would have made it thru this#in any kind of state at all. he's my world. but also yeah that song kept me going#its the specific kind of hope it brings that isnt a very sunshiney everything will be ok hope#but moreso ok. i know you hurt. i know you've had enough. but come on one last time lets go#bc you HAVE to keep picking yrself up snd going 'ok one last time' over and over till u dont have to do it anymore#and thats just. what i did. my body is a mess now my legs and arms keep giving way#cuz more than a month straight of this has exhausted me and exacerbated my prexisting conditions#but i made it through and im nearly done. and this song helped immensly#last time smth helped this much is when i was watching texas chainsaw massacre every night to be able to sleep#it was like the only soothing thing i cld latch on to. felt familiar and safe. got me thru some rough shit#now S.O.S has done much the same. thank u dethklok i suppose#feels kinda corny ey but idk. idc anymore S.O.S and AOTD in general has been a salve on my brain lately#grabbing nathan forcefully. my fucking favourite fuckhead o how u have helped in these trying times
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