#it helps me not avoid my intuition

[cazshmere]

Astrology Placements & Aspects that are likely to be stalked or attract obsessive people 🩸🕷️

(TW / MINORS DNI⚠️ : mentions of stalking and sexual content)

materialist 🔖

DEFINITION + DISCLAIMER : Stalking is persistent, unwanted attention or surveillance by an individual toward another person, often involving repeated following, contacting, or monitoring in ways that make the person feel threatened, harassed, or unsafe. It typically includes obsessive behavior aimed at controlling or staying close to the person, even without their consent. These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🕷️🩸

🩸All Water Sign Placements (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces): Water signs are deeply emotional and intuitive, often forming intense bonds with others. Their empathetic nature can attract people who feel misunderstood or who have obsessive tendencies, as they believe only these individuals can truly understand them. This connection to the water signs' emotional depth can lead to feelings of obsession.

🩸Neptune in the 1st House: Ahh I think everyone’s heard of how much of a blessing and curse this placement is. Neptune in the 1st creates a mysterious or ethereal aura around the person. This makes them hard to read, which can magnetize those who idealize or obsess over mystery. Their ability to project fantasies onto others can lead stalkers to feel as if they’re connected on a deeper, almost spiritual level. A lot of celebrities with this placement have PSYCHOTIC FANS💀.

🩸Moon in the 1st House: These individuals are extremely attuned with their surroundings and can easily empathise and pick up on energies. They may unknowingly attract others who become fixated on their vulnerability or nurturing qualities.

🩸Pluto in the 1st House: Omg this placement is scary ngl because people notice how much power and magnetism this individual possesses and people just can’t help but be amazed and intrigued by these individuals. This intrigue makes them want to know more and more about the person which then leads to obsessive tendencies, such as following them around, stalking their social media page or just keeping tabs on them. These individuals surely have a strong, sometimes mysterious presence that can fascinate or captivate others, leading to obsessive behavior from admirers or stalkers.

🩸Chiron in the 1st House: Chiron in the 1st house can make someone appear vulnerable or wounded, which can attract individuals who want to "fix" or control them. This placement often draws people who are compelled to heal or dominate the person’s perceived weaknesses.

🩸Lilith in the 1st House: Lilith represents our shadow selves and repressed desires. In the 1st house, it can give off an aura of raw power and sexuality, attracting people who are drawn to what they perceive as forbidden or unattainable.

🩸Pluto-Ascendant Aspects (esp harsh aspects) : When the ascendant comes in contact with pluto, pluto intensifies its characteristics. This could indicate that these individuals have something super striking about their appearance. Pluto is also the planet of mystery and uncertainty so these individuals exude a sense of mystery which attracts people to them because they want to know more about this individual. These individuals attract people who want to control, or “possess” them which leads to stalking tendencies.

🩸Pluto-MC Aspects (esp harsh aspects) : People can easily retort to stalking tendencies when it comes to these individuals as MC represents their public persona and people get obsessed with the way the individual portrays or presents themselves to the world. This reminds me of stalker fans that celebrities have that would go to any and every extent to see them or be near them because they are so fascinated with how they “appear” in public. If you follow kpop there’s a term for these type of fans called as sasaeng fans (please go and look it up, it’s actually so scary) who also possess obsessive and super CONCERNING qualities which resonate with how stalking and obsession can occur in respect to this aspect.

🩸Pluto-Moon Aspects: This aspect gives rise to others becoming emotionally obsessed, attached and dependent on the individual. This attachment or dependence leads to obsession as other people feel they NEED this individual in order to survive and this causes obsession. These individuals may attract obsessive or controlling partners who are drawn to their emotional depth and vulnerability.

🩸Pluto-Venus Aspects (esp harsh aspects): Omg individuals with this aspect, PLEASE PLEASE be really careful with who you trust or share your information with, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Your partner could become super possessive of you and would want to monitor you 24/7, so creepy omg. These individuals also attract really insecure and possessive people. So please be mindful when you’re letting your guard down with others. These individuals attract obsessive partners who are unable to let go, often experiencing power struggles or possessive behavior.

🩸Pluto-Mars Aspects (esp harsh aspects) This aspect heightens the individuals sexual energy which in return tends to attract attention of A LOT of perverts or people who just want to sleep with you. They see you as a way to sexually satisfy their needs and they become obsessed with the fact that you might sleep with them and slowly start getting creepy and stalking you till you give in and sleep with them (PLEASE RUN AWAY IMMEDIATELY). If you have this aspect and feel like partners are just using you for sexual activities, PLEASE LEAVE because I’m sure when the attraction is genuine you will know it. This aspect induces a lot of LUSTFUL intentions in others towards you.

🩸Neptune-Mars Aspects (mainly the square and conjunction) : Oh god the amount of times people with this aspect get sexualised is so sickening. Literally people fantasise about you in their sexual scenarios and get obsessed with these scenarios and desperately want it to happen in real life. This desperation gives rise to obsession and stalking. TOXIC ASF.

🩸Venus Square/Opposite Saturn: Individuals with these aspects usually tend to have low self esteem so they can mistake obsession as love because they think this is exactly how love is supposed to feel like and this is all they’re going to get. This aspect also often suggests struggles in love and relationships, which can manifest as attracting partners who are emotionally unavailable or controlling. The difficulties in achieving healthy relationships may attract obsessive behaviour from others who know that the individual is easily controlled and can be manipulated. This power that these toxic people have over the individuals is what makes them obsessed because they just NEED to control and possess the native. Even if the native cuts ties with these toxic people, these people would stalk them and somehow try manipulating their way back into the natives lives.

🩸Scorpio Venus: OKAY this placement takes the winner title for getting stalked. Literally every single scorpio venus I have encountered has one or the other story of how their partner or someone who liked them OUTRIGHT stalked them. The people who are into these natives are SUPER possessive and observant over these individuals. They stalk their social media, probably have a secret folder of their pics and somehow “magically” appear in the same places as the native is in. I’ve noticed that sometimes people with this placement do enjoy this kind of attention, as long as the other person is respecting your boundaries and the actions in the relationship are both consensual, then it’s all good. If you guys have watched the show “You”, there’s this character called Beck and I feel like she probably had this placement and that’s why Joe was so freakin OBSESSED with her and the amount of times and the ways in which he has stalked her is crazy💀

🩸Scorpio Mars: These people attract ATTENTION everywhere they go. A lot of staring from others too because it’s hard NOT to notice these individuals. Their powerful sexual energy and ability to dive deep into relationships can attract obsessive or controlling individuals who want to dominate or consume them.

🩸Pluto/Scorpio in the 7th House: Oh god, these people can’t help but not attract intense and controlling people. Their partners have a need to KNOW every single thing about them - where they are, who they’re with, what they’re doing. Basically 0 privacy. A lot of intrusive partners are attracted. Well the native itself could possess these obsessive tendencies and sometimes they might enjoy a little bit of obsession from their partners side but eventually it gets toxic wherein it gets hard to cut ties with their partners and this obsession turns into something detrimental.

🩸Venus in the 8th House: SO MANY STALKERS, SO MANY SECRET ADMIRERS. Trust me if you think people aren’t watching you, THEY DEFINITELY ARE. For some reason people tend to notice even the tiniest amount of change in your physical appearance. This is scary honestly because there are eyes on you always because honestly your energy is so POWERFUL and MAGNETIC that people just can’t seem to get enough of you. These individuals attract bitchy friends who want to know everything about the native and always try to ONE up them. Please be super careful with who you engage with and share your energy with. I feel like just because this is a super intense placement, your intentions might not be clearly understood by others. For instance if you’re just acting friendly with a guy he might mistake it as flirting and then develop feelings for you and become obsessed 💀💀. Scary asf.

🩸Mars in the 8th House: Just like venus in the 8th house your sexual energy and presence is very high. Honestly this placement is SO MUCH more than just intense sexual energy but what to do, these individuals inevitably exude this type of energy. So if these individuals are being friendly with someone, the person might mistake this friendliness as something more and try and make a move because these individuals do come off as slightly more sexual than other people. This could also mean that people who have sex with these individuals ALWAYS want to come back to them because it was probably the best sex they ever had. They basically become sexually obsessed with the natives and keep coming for more and more.

🩸Mars in the 10th House: Mars in the 10th house can make a person’s career or public life a focal point of their energy, which can attract admirers or stalkers who become obsessed with their achievements or public image. For instance Jungkook from BTS has this placement and his fans are feral and superrr obsessed with everything he does and as a fellow army it’s honestly concerning to see ���💀.

🩸Pluto in the 10th House: I feel like this placement attracts more of haters who are OBSESSED with the power these natives hold and want to either possess the same amount of power or overtake the native. This obsession stems more from hatred and envy. This intense, sometimes intimidating energy can draw admirers or obsessive followers who are either fascinated by their authority or want to undermine it.

🩸Neptune in the 10th House: Neptune in the 10th house can make a person’s public persona appear glamorous or unreachable, drawing people who project fantasies or illusions onto them. These individuals may find that others become obsessed with their perceived image rather than their true self.

🩸Venus in the 12th House: Venus in the 12th house can create secretive or unspoken love affairs, which may attract admirers who remain hidden or watch from afar. This placement can sometimes make it difficult to see a person’s true intentions.

‼️Of course, there are likely other placements that may experience similar things, but these are the aspects and placements I can recall off the top of my head. It’s important to note that having any of these placements doesn’t guarantee that such experiences will occur. This is merely a possibility and may be nothing more‼️

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© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[stellophiliac]

how to build a digital music collection and stuff

spotify sucks aaaass. so start downloading shit!!

file format glossary

.wav is highest quality and biggest

.mp3 is very small, but uses lossy compression which means it's lower quality

.flac is smaller than .wav, but uses lossless compression so it's high quality

.m4a is an audio file format that apple uses. that's all i really know

downloading the music

doubledouble.top is a life saver. you can download from a variety of services including but not limited to apple music, spotify, soundcloud, tidal, deezer, etc.

i'd recommend ripping your music from tidal or apple music since they're the best quality (i think apple music gives you lossless audio anyway. .m4a can be both lossy and lossless, but from the text on doubledouble i assume they're ripping HQ files off apple music)

i also love love love cobalt.tools for ripping audio/video from youtube (they support a lot of other platforms too!)

of course, many artists have their music on bandcamp — purchase or download directly from them if you can. bandcamp offers a variety of file formats for download

file conversion

if you're downloading from apple music with doubledouble, it spits out an .m4a file.

.m4a is ok for some people but if you prefer .flac, you may wanna convert it. ffmpeg is a CLI (terminal) tool to help with media conversion

if you're on linux or macOS, you can use parameter expansion to batch convert all files in a folder. put the files in one place first, then with your terminal, cd into the directory and run:

for i in *.m4a; do ffmpeg -i "$i" "${i%.*}.flac"; done

this converts from .m4a to .flac — change the file extensions if needed.

soulseek

another way to get music is through soulseek. soulseek is a peer-to-peer file sharing network which is mainly used for music. nicotine+ is a pretty intuitive (and open-source) client if you don't like the official one.

you can probably find a better tutorial on soulseek somewhere else. just wanted to make this option known

it's bad etiquette to download from people without sharing files of your own, so make sure you've got something shared. also try to avoid queuing up more than 1-2 albums from one person in a row

tagging & organizing your music

tagging: adding metadata to a music file (eg. song name, artist name, album) that music players can recognize and display

if you've ripped music from a streaming platform, chances are it's already tagged. i've gotten files with slightly incorrect tags from doubledouble though, so if you care about that then you might wanna look into it

i use musicbrainz picard for my tagging. they've got pretty extensive documentation, which will probably be more useful than me

basically, you can look up album data from an online database into the program, and then match each track with its file. the program will tag each file correctly for you (there's also options for renaming the file according to a certain structure if you're into that!)

there's also beets, which is a CLI tool for... a lot of music collection management stuff. i haven't really used it myself, but if you feel up to it then they've got extensive documentation too. for most people, though, it's not really a necessity

how you wanna organize your music is completely up to you. my preferred filestructure is:

artist > album > track # track

using a music player

the options for this are pretty expansive. commonly used players i see include VLC, foobar2000, clementine (or a fork of it called strawberry), and cmus (for the terminal)

you can also totally use iTunes or something. i don't know what audio players other systems come with

i personally use dopamine. it's a little bit slow, but it's got a nice UI and is themeable plus has last.fm support (!!!)

don't let the github page fool you, you don't have to build from source. you can find the releases here

click the "assets" dropdown on the most recent release, and download whichever one is compatible with your OS

syncing

if you're fine with your files just being on one device (perhaps your computer, but perhaps also an USB drive or an mp3 player), you don't have to do this

you can sync with something like google drive, but i hate google more than i hate spotify

you can get a free nextcloud account from one of their providers with 2GB of free storage. you can use webDAV to access your files from an app on your phone or other device (documents by readdle has webDAV support, which is what i use)

disroot and blahaj.land are a couple providers i know that offer other services as well as nextcloud (so you get more with your account), but accounts are manually approved. do give them a look though!!

if you're tech-savvy and have an unused machine lying around, look into self-hosting your own nextcloud, or better yet, your own media server. i've heard that navidrome is a pretty good audio server. i unfortunately don't have experience with self-hosting at the moment so i have like zero advice to give here. yunohost seems to be a really easy way to manage a server

afterword

i don't know if any of this is helpful, but i just wanted to consolidate my personal advice in one place. fuck big tech. own your media, they could take it away from you at any moment

[tendermiasma]

I always avoided using references, but couldn't point out what exactly made me avoid it. I have finally realized that due to being unfortunate enough to be surrounded by people boldly claiming "real artists draw everything from imagination without any references" [now i know it's bullshit] in my early years of artistic journey, I developed fear of being too dependent on references and fear of being completely unable to draw anything good without "copying". Any ideas how to overcome that fear?

It's not something I hear at all in professional spaces. We've straight up traced weird angles of our arms before. I use lots of references. You will naturally get better at drawing intuitively with the more references you use since we learn by example. I draw intuitively much more accurately than I did many years ago, but I still use references because my idea of a polished drawing is a moving goalpost.

Jason Rainville is one of the best of the best, paints MTG cards and he often posts his references. You can see how closely they mirror the final image:

If you want to get good at art, you have to look at things and that's all it boils down to. Those who say it's bad to use references are either 1) never getting good at art, or 2) are insecure and are posturing in front of other artists. Hope this helps!

[fluidity-stupidity]

Beginner Witch Things to Research

So many older - more experienced - witches tell beginner - baby - witches to start with researching things like protection spells, grounding, cleansing and warding but what do you research afterward? These are just a few things that I would recommend every individual to research, regardless of how experienced you may think you are.

Carl Jung's Map of the Soul This is where the archetypes stem from, a what a lot of witches dread doing - Shadow Work. Shadow Work is uncovering not just traumatic ventures of our pasts but also revealing what made and makes us who we are today. Studying where it all started makes working through your own shadow a lot less stressful and a lot hammering on the soul, it also leads to a lot less martyrdom in the spiritual community.

Honing in on your psychic abilities and Intuition Gaining the ability is easy, everyone has these abilities, you just have to work to get them to where you want them to be. Remember a spiritual practice is still a practice, you have to put in the effort to get better, just as you would a physical sport or an instrument.

Egregores and Amalgamations vs. Deitys vs. Pop Culture Deitys Egregores and amalgamations exist solely in the astral plane and can (and will) mimic, imitate, and parody deities. Being able to decern these, especially with your intuition will always provide useful. Learning that Lucifer from Dantes' Inferno is reaching out to you versus aspected, epithetic source Lucifer will give you a much better relationship and outcome in your practice.

Deity Work vs. Deity Worship Offering play a key role when learning to decern these from each other. You can in fact, do both, but be warned deities get jealous of each other.

Find what you love and surround yourself with it Incorporating things that you love into your practice and not actually doing what you love about your practice is one of the key differences I saw in my practice when I learned how to differentiate them. I found incoporating pop culture media into my practice made me get burnout from both that piece of pop culture and my spiritual practices.

Finding a form of divination that you are most comfortable with Everyone likes using cartomancy, divination using cards or pieces of paper, is the most common form of divination, but learning your favorite form of divination will help avoid burnout and creating tension for yourself in your practice.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Cannibals [Chapter 1: Bruises and Bloodlines]

Series summary: You are his sister, his lover, his betrothed despite everyone else's protests; you have always belonged to Aemond and believe you always will. But on the night he returns from Storm's End with horrifying news, the trajectories of your lives are irrevocably changed. Will the war of succession make your bond permanent, or destroy the twisted and fanatical love you share?

Chapter warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), Aemond stressing everybody out, Aegon hating his life even more than usual, RIP lil Luke Strong, don't touch bats in real life or you will get rabies.

Word count: 6.3k

💙 All my writing can be found HERE! ❤️

Tagging: @themoonofthesun @chattylurker @mrs-starkgaryen @moonfllowerr @ecstaticactus

🦇 Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🦇

Cannibal, a noun: one that devours its own.

~~~~~~~~~~

He’s back, you can feel it: a sensation like falling, the impact of Vhagar’s claws against the earth. You get glimpses like this, unpredictable flashes of intuition, a window into the contents of his mind or the scenery he is draped in like how branches hang from a willow tree. You set Blueberry down on the windowsill, where he skitters to the edge and swoops out into the night, chasing white specks of moths and lacewings. Then you leave your bedchamber to meet Aemond in the hallway.

One of the maids is there, trying to be patient as she paces with Maelor in her arms. He’s just like you were at that age: a demon who never sleeps. His white-blonde hair is disheveled, his eyes rheumy and pink from crying in protest. But then they brighten.

“Red Red!” Maelor swipes at you with tiny, grasping hands.

“What are you doing awake?” you coo at him, beaming. “It’s nighttime. You aren’t a bat. Are you a bat, huh? Are you hiding a pair of wings somewhere?”

He giggles as you pretend to inspect him. The maid smiles.

“If you don’t have any wings, I’m afraid you’ll have to go right to sleep. That’s the rule for humans.”

Maelor trills in his toddler lisp: “Then I want to be a bat.”

“Okay! I’ll find some bugs for you to eat.”

“No!” he squeals, dismayed. “No bugs!”

“In that case, I guess you’re a human after all. If you go to bed now, you can help me collect seashells tomorrow.”

“Fine,” Maelor agrees grudgingly, and the maid ferries him away. From the Godswood, great horned owls hoot. One of the knights of Aegon’s Kingsguard, Sir Willis Fell from the Stormlands, passes by on his patrol and gives you a quick nod, polite but a bit avoidant, awkward truths he pretends he can ignore. He doesn’t ask if you need assistance or why you’re awake at this hour. He already knows. He vanishes again, his white cloak swishing behind him like the tail of a wolf or a jackal.

You lurk at the top of the Grand Staircase shrouded in shadows and shifting firelight, feeling night wind skate over your cheek like children playing on a frozen lake, and that breeze is not here but outside where Aemond must be trudging across the courtyard towards the royal apartments in Maegor’s Holdfast. You drum your fingertips impatiently on the stone banister. When at last he appears—first only a silhouette in the darkness, then rippling into color under the torches, black leather and silver hair—Aemond is drenched with rain and ascending swiftly, two stairs at a time.

You grin as you take a step down to him, slinking, conspiratorial. He told you all his plans before he left; he tells you almost everything. “How was Storm’s End?”

But Aemond doesn’t answer. He blows past you and stalks towards Criston’s chambers, rainwater dripping from his hair and littering the floor with tiny, transluscent pools.

You turn to watch him leave, mystified. “Aemond?”

He says without stopping: “Go wake Aegon and Mother. Tell them to meet me in the small council chamber. I’ll get Criston and Grandsire.”

“Why?” Again, Aemond ignores you. This is unusual. You bolt after him, closing the space between you until your fingers catch his wrist. “Aemond, what—?”

He grabs you and pins you to the wall, the stones cold against your belly through the crimson velvet of your robe, Aemond’s hips braced against yours, domineering, demanding, promising what he will do for you after. You close your eyes and sigh shakily—a savoring, a surrender—and then he is tender, turning your face so he can kiss the apple of your cheek. He murmurs, warm and low: “Do as I ask.”

You nod. “Okay,” you agree in a whisper. Aemond releases you and vanishes to rouse Criston. You break for Aegon’s chambers.

There is a woman in his bed, snoring softly and with long auburn hair spilling over her bare shoulders. He has endeavored to spend less time drinking and philandering since becoming king, and yet…it is so rare for a creature to change its spots or stripes or scales. Aegon has always been this way. Without his vices, you would not recognize him.

You kneel beside the bed and rest a palm lightly on Aegon’s damp forehead. You have to be careful when you wake him; he flinches, he startles, he has too many memories of being ripped from sleep by bruises and crescent-moon indentations of fingernails. “Aegon? I’m really sorry, I know it’s late.”

He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know it’s you. “Fuck off,” he groans into his pillow.

“Aemond’s back from Storm’s End, but something’s wrong. He wants you to meet him in the council chamber.”

Aegon looks up and blinks drowsily. Moonlight spills into the room through gaps in the curtains. He smells strange, like lavender; that must be from his companion. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

You shake your head.

Now Aegon is alarmed. The dark, cloudy blue of his irises is rapidly clearing. “Alright. Give me five minutes.”

“Wash the girl’s perfume off you so Mother isn’t quite so disappointed.”

Aegon chuckles, rubbing his eyes; something about the way he does this reminds you of Maelor. They are both just boys; they are both so incendiary and yet so vulnerable. “Get out, whore.”

You tousle his hair roughly, smack a kiss onto his sweat-salted temple as he tries to shove you away, snicker as he hurls pillows at you. You are slipping through the doorway when you hear the woman in bed mumble: “Huh? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Aegon says. “Thank you very much for your company, your skills were more than adequate, now kindly find your way home…”

You hurry down the hall to Mother’s chambers. There are seven-pointed stars on the walls and the furniture, green tapestries everywhere. She will always be a Hightower, averse to Valyrian oddities and suspicious of that sinister, ancient magic. She does not understand it; she tries to overlook it in her children. It’s the only way she knows how to love them. You sit beside the indistinct shape beneath the blankets, sinking into the goose feather mattress, and nudge what you guess is her shoulder. “Mother?”

She stirs, and then her face fills with concern when she sees you in the dim light from her candles. “What’s happened, darling? Are you ill?” You are prone to headaches and chills and nausea, you always have been, maladies of the flesh that are either a blood inheritance or a curse from bad stars. Once when you were very young, Aemond pushed you into a cold stream during a royal progress to the Vale, and you had been laughing when Criston leapt in and dragged you from the water; but two days later, you began burning up with a fever so hot they thought you might die. Aemond had slept on the floor beside your bed, and when you shivered so violently your bones ached he climbed in beside you and held you until you could sleep again; and later when his eye was cut out on Driftmark and he was half-mad with pain, you did the same for him.

“No, Mother, I’m fine. It’s Aemond.”

She sits up and studies you. “Aemond?”

“He’s back from Storm’s End, and he wants to talk to you.”

“To me?”

“And Criston and Aegon, and Grandsire too.”

She doesn’t understand. “Now? Why? What’s wrong?”

“I have no idea.”

“What did he say?”

Everyone expects you to already know, but you don’t. “I think he wants to tell all of us at the same time. In the small council chamber.”

“Now?” she says again, puzzled, still half-asleep. “What is so important that it can’t wait until morning?”

“Mother, there are only so many ways for me to express that I don’t know. If I had any indications at all, I’d share them.”

“Alright.” She’s smiling; you have amused her. She throws off the covers and touches her bare feet to the floor. “Pass me my robe. It’s on that chair over there.” And of course, the swath of velvet you hand her to wear over her nightgown is a deep emerald green: the color of fertile fields, not blood or beasts.

By the time you and Mother arrive together, everyone else is already taking their places in the council chamber. Aegon is at the head of the table, spinning his stone—a black sphere of volcanic glass—and peering around boredly. Grandsire and Criston are greeting Mother and yawning into the backs of their hands. No one has woken Helaena, and yet she is here, settling nimbly into the chair beside Aegon. He gives her a brief, fond glance, noting that she is fidgeting with a small oak dragonfly he once made for her. Aegon carves wood, Helaena embroiders, you shatter seashells with tiny hammers and use the shards to make mosaics, miniscule yet unladylike violence. Aemond has books and swords in place of crafts. And Daeron…you assume he must have cultivated some artistic talents while away in Oldtown—he was always so imaginative as a boy—but you would not know them. You see him so rarely now. You sit across the table from Aemond. He is the only attendee not dressed in nightclothes. His black leather tunic is still layered with a sheen of rain.

Grandsire lowers himself gingerly into his seat, grinding arthritic bones that pain him. The nights have grown chilly, even here in the south. Winter is coming, the maesters warn. His gaze passes over you and Helaena—the two of you aren’t really supposed to be here, but you’ll be permitted to stay if you cause no trouble—then he smirks humorlessly at Aemond. “So you failed.”

“No,” Aemond says, and you think as you look around the table: No Orwyle, no Lannister, no Wylde, not even Larys Strong. What does Aemond not want them to know? “Lord Baratheon has agreed to marry his youngest daughter to Daeron in one year’s time. He was very enthusiastic about the match.”

“Great!” Aegon declares. “Although, personally, I am of the inexpert opinion that this could have been discussed over bacon and honeycakes at breakfast…”

Grandsire snorts, derisive; he disapproves, though perhaps he is not surprised. He says to Aemond: “You were sent to negotiate your own marriage, not Daeron’s.”

Aemond shrugs, as if it happened by coincidence. “That was Borros Baratheon’s preference.”

“It was your preference, you mean.”

Aemond is careful not to reveal any emotion. “Daeron is young, but he already has a reputation. He is known to be handsome and chivalrous and…” A wave of the hand as he searches for the right word. “Unmutilated. It is not so difficult to imagine why a father would believe him to be a more worthy son-in-law.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, one Targaryen is as good as the next,” Aegon says, and of course nobody pays much attention.

“Perhaps Borros Baratheon’s judgment has been contaminated by certain disturbing and disgraceful rumors,” Grandsire counters and glares at you. You don’t reply; there’s nothing you can say that would help. Everyone knows, but it rarely spoken of aloud, as if it is a ghost nobody wants to inadvertently conjure. All your life there has been this perpetual rebalancing of scales: someone mentions a diplomatic match for you, you stall and Aemond makes excuses, Grandsire and Mother try to convince him, Aemond is immoveable and they aren’t willing to invoke his wrath. Vhagar is the subtext of every dispute. They need her, they are terrified of her.

Criston attempts to deescalate. “Aemond’s task was to ensure the Baratheons’ loyalty to the crown, and he has accomplished that. Perhaps it would be wise to move on.”

“Fine, what else?” Grandsire snaps. “You assembled us here for some reason, I presume. It must be urgent to merit a meeting now. It better be urgent, or I’ll be paying people to shake you awake during the hour of the wolf for the next month.”

“It is urgent,” Aemond says softly, then pauses, gazing down at the ball in front of him, white quartz dappled with blue. Everyone watches him. You share a glance with Aegon; he is curious, but you have nothing to offer him. You turn back to Aemond with bewilderment in your face, furrows in your brow.

“Aemond?” Mother prompts.

He looks at you, only for a second, but you’re thunderstruck by what you see in his remaining eye. You have rarely known Aemond to be afraid, but he is right now. What happened? you think, horror making the blood in your veins cold and slow and heavy. What did he do?

Aemond begins: “Luke Strong was at Storm’s End too.”

“What?” Grandsire says, more baffled than worried. “That runt? Why?”

“He’s a weasel,” Aegon mutters, spinning his ball again.

“Rhaenyra’s son?” Mother asks. “She sent him there all alone? How peculiar. The way she was always hovering over him while they were here, I’m amazed she let him out of her sight for that long. How old is he now? With that plain, ever-anxious, pug-nosed face, he looks like a little boy—”

Aemond says: “He was sent to remind Borros of his old pledge to uphold Rhaenyra’s claim. But Luke had no incentives to offer.”

“And so Lord Baratheon rejected him,” Grandsire surmises.

Aemond nods, though perhaps halfheartedly.

“Well, good,” Grandsire says, surveying the table for agreement. “That’s good, right? With every house that refuses to aid her, Rhaenyra will be more likely to accept our terms, and we can resolve this question of succession without any bloodshed.”

“Meleys and the Dragonpit,” Aegon reminds him.

“Without further bloodshed,” Grandsire amends.

Mother and Criston concur, but you’re watching Aemond. He hasn’t responded yet. Mother’s gaze flits between the two of you. She is somewhat sympathetic to the affinity you share, but she doesn’t understand it. More than anything, you get the sense she believes it is something you must be saved from. The Hightowers could stomach Aegon and Helaena’s match—Viserys was still healthy enough to insist upon it, and the couple so seemingly platonic it was easy to forget they were married at all—but they have no appetite for a desire that defies political expediency, that burns scorching and wild.

“Aemond, did you quarrel with Luke?” Mother says, her tone patient in an I-won’t-be-mad-if-you-just-tell-me-the-truth sort of way. “I know…your eye…” She touches her own face, wincing at the memory of how he suffered. “Did you seek restitution of some sort from him? Did you make accusations?”

“We…exchanged some words,” Aemond admits. “And then…when Luke left on Arrax…” There is a lull, and everyone stares at him. “Vhagar and I followed.”

“What?!” Grandsire exclaims. “You threatened Rhaenyra’s son?!”

“I…” Aemond closes his eye, then after a moment opens it again and continues. “It was my intention to frighten him, that was all.”

“Idiot,” Grandsire hisses. “You know better. You’re too well-educated to act like you don’t. Now, that one…” He jabs an accusatory finger at Aegon, who is caught off-guard, what the fuck do I have to do with this?

Criston says, more gently: “That was very dangerous, Aemond.” Mother covers her mouth with one hand and shakes her head. Her long coppery hair hangs in uncombed waves, still tangled from sleep.

“So what happened?” Aegon asks. “Where’d you chase him to? All the way back to Dragonstone? You must have scared him to death.”

Aemond chooses his words with great care and agonizing slowness. “Everything was under control. Then Arrax…he unleashed his flames on Vhagar, and she…she attacked.”

Everyone is silent. After a moment, Grandsire says: “What do you mean she attacked?”

“She…” Aemond gestures vaguely with open hands, hands that have held you, caged you, dragged you, pleased you until you were forged to him like a blade to a hilt. Again, he looks at you, and what is he asking for? Help, empathy, compassion, forgiveness? “She bit Arrax.”

“She wounded him?” Aegon says.

“She devoured him.”

Criston blinks. “So…Arrax is dead, and where is Luke now?”

Aemond laces his fingers together on the table like he’s praying. “He’s…he’s gone.”

“Gone?” Mother echoes.

“Did you look for him?” Grandsire demands. “I mean, did you even bother to search for Luke, or did you just leave him in the Stormlands somewhere? Did he fall into the sea, could he be wandering around in a forest? If Luke is injured, we should send out people to find him. We could hold him as a hostage.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Aemond’s voice is frayed. And now for the first time tonight, you finally know what he’s going to say. Your eyes snag on Aegon’s, and he reads the terror there, and then it hits him too. “There is nothing to search for.”

Mother is gaping at him, the unwanted knowledge seeping in like rain through earth. “Nothing?”

“There is no body. Pieces, perhaps.”

Unspeakable, suffocating dread fills the room, and then Grandsire leaps to his feet and slams his fists down on the table. “Useless!” he roars at Aemond. “Worse than useless, a saboteur, a curse, a plague, you have ruined everything your Mother and I worked for, Rhaenyra was considering our terms and now you’ve condemned us all!”

“You killed Lucerys Velaryon?” Mother says, stunned. Her large dark eyes glisten with unpardonable betrayal. She’ll never look at him the same way again. “You murdered Rhaenyra’s son? A prince, the heir to Driftmark?”

“It wasn’t murder,” Aemond pleads. “It was…it was combat, it was a battle—”

“A battle with that child?!” Grandsire thunders. Helaena begins to cry, and Aegon places a hand on her wrist as his wide eyes dart around the table. “Everyone’s seen him, it’s no secret, and not a single person in the realm would be delusional enough to believe a clash between Vhagar and Arrax was anything but a slaughter!”

“Aemond,” Criston says quietly, appalled, astonished.

Aemond can’t meet his eyes. He peers down at the table, and despite everything—what will happen to us, what will happen to me?—there is an ache in your chest like cracked ribs trying to heal, a profound lightless distress, a ricochet of the pain he’s feeling. “It wasn’t my intention to harm Luke.”

Grandsire shouts: “Did you give Vhagar the order or not?!”

It feels like a long time before Aemond answers. “No.”

“Oh gods,” Criston says as he sinks down in his chair, turning to Alicent. She has hidden her face with both hands and seems to be weeping.

“So you can’t control Vhagar,” Grandsire seethes. “You ride the largest and most dangerous dragon in the world and you can’t stop her from eating people.”

“I never would have purposefully—”

“But you created the situation! You pursued Luke, you tormented him, and surely somewhere in your sick brain you considered that you were endangering his life! And now… now…now Rhaenyra will be merciless, she will never submit, she will endeavor to destroy us all!”

“It will bring more allies to her side,” Criston says. “They will believe she was wronged, and she will wield that weapon to great advantage. She is cunning.”

“What about your family, Aemond?!” Mother sobs, her face a hectic, bloody pink. “You and your brothers will have to go to war, you might be maimed or butchered, and your sisters and I…we could be taken as prisoners, we could be executed for treason!”

“That will never happen,” he swears; but his pale blue eye is misty, and he bites his lips together so they won’t tremble.

Mother is desperate, tears streaming down her cheeks “What can we do, Father? How can we salvage this?”

Grandsire points to you. “She must be wed immediately. We’ve already waited too long.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Aegon says, but no one is listening.

“Mother,” you beg. “Please don’t let them—”

“She will be married to whoever can help us in this,” Grandsire says. “The Lannisters or the Redwynes or the Swanns, perhaps the Butterwells or the Mootons if that will coax them to our side—”

“Then the realm will burn,” Aemond replies darkly, leaning over the table. “But I’ll come knocking on your door first, Grandsire.”

Grandsire looks at him, startled. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Shall we find out?”

“Otto, please,” Criston says, holding up a palm. Then he considers how to dissuade him. “All things considered—the military strength that Aemond has brought to our side, the devotion that he has shown this family, present circumstances notwithstanding—he has never asked for much.”

“He asks for the one thing we cannot give him,” Grandsire replies, then turns to you. “What do you think about what Aemond has done? This recklessness, this monstrous error?”

He rarely asks for your opinion about anything. This is not a question but a summons: you are supposed to disavow Aemond. You are the one who can hurt him best. Instead you say, though it’s not what you truly feel: “Luke was an enemy. He perished in combat.”

Grandsire, Mother, and Criston all begin yelling at once. Helaena shrinks into herself, her dragonfly made of oak wood clutched to her chest. Aegon whispers something to her—you can leave, you believe he says—but she shakes her head no. You are stoic as the adults berate and implore you, and perhaps it’s strange that you still think of them that way since you’re an adult now too, and yet…their gravity seems so much heavier than yours, their tethers to the earth overgrown with weeds and moss.

“I’ll gut you myself!” Grandsire screams at Aemond, empty threats woven from helpless terror. “I’ll lock you in the Black Cells, I’ll have you banished to Dorne—!”

“I’ll throw a feast!” Aegon says suddenly, and the others go quiet.

“You’ll what?” Grandsire snarls.

“Little Luke Strong is dead and that’s a victory for our side. There’s no other way to look at it.”

“You intend to celebrate this calamity?”

“What else should we do?” Aegon asks. “Apologize? Go crawling on our bellies to Rhaenyra for forgiveness? No, she’d burn us alive. If it’s done, we must embrace it and use it to bolster our cause as much as possible. It was a battle and a victory. Aemond is a war hero. Onto the next objective.”

“What a disaster,” Criston mutters, rubbing his forehead. “Yes, that might be the only option we have.”

Mother clasps the small seven-pointed star that hangs from the gold chain at her throat. “I must go to the sept. I must pray for our survival.”

Grandsire glowers at Aegon. “You are a humiliation.”

“I am the king. I want a feast.”

Grandsire sighs deeply, pushing his chair away from the table. “I suppose I have letters to write.” And then, to Aemond: “When your sisters are captured and enslaved and married off to whichever Black loyalists will pay Rhaenyra and Daemon the most for them, I trust you’ll remember who’s responsible.”

Aemond gets up and storms out of the small council chamber. Mother mops the tears off her face with the sleeves of her green robe. Criston takes one of her hands and is murmuring promises, assurances, perhaps lies. You, Aegon, and Helaena say nothing. None of you can defend what Aemond has done, but you won’t denounce him either.

Then Grandsire grins at you, a cruel bestial flash of his teeth, an old grizzled animal tough from too many winters, icy wind shrieking through the chambers of its heart. “Oh, are you pretending that you’re not about to run after him?”

You don’t reply. But you rise from the table and flee as Mother watches you, her vast eyes swimming with misery.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s a game with five pieces: the green snake, the yellow butterfly, the blue wolf, the red bat, and the purple shadowcat. They chase each other around the board, and if one of the other pieces lands on the same spot as yours then you have to go all the way back to the start.

Daeron is the youngest, but he almost always seems to win; some people are like that, luck flows like a river in their veins. Helaena enjoys playing even if she finished last. Aegon feigns disinterest but never declines an invitation, sliding his snake across the spaces with his index finger between slurps of wine. And sometimes Aemond is ruthless, taking every single opportunity to land on your spot and send your bat hurtling back to the beginning, sawing your legs out from under you, shattering your hopes like glass again and again until you are so frustrated you can feel embers glowing dry and searing in your throat.

But other times, Aemond pretends to misread the dots on the dice so he lands either too close or too far away and you are spared, and if you win he lies and says you deserve it.

~~~~~~~~~~

He is waiting at your bedroom door; when you are close enough to breathe him in, you taste rain and soot. Perhaps—if it isn’t your imagination—you can even detect the coppery tinge of blood, splatters of little Luke Strong soaked into the black leather of his tunic or his coat. You remember that boy you barely knew, more a phantom than flesh, a wraith who stole Aemond’s eye and then was spirited away to Dragonstone to escape retribution, a tiny god who Viserys worshipped from afar the same way he never stopped loving Rhaenyra. All you knew of your father was absence, and this was a sadness but a relief as well, because you could not escape the sense that if he was there you would only disappoint him.

“What is wrong with you?!” you whisper savagely. Aemond smiles and reaches for your face, but you swat his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me. You’re insane, you’re going to get us all killed—”

He drags you into your bedchamber, kicking the door shut behind him. He’s lean but wiry, all muscle, and when you fight him—although you both know you want him to win—it is in vain. He tugs your hair out of its braid and hauls you across the room, pushes you down on the bed, rips off his coat and tunic and then follows you onto the mattress. You clamber away until you hit the headboard, your spine flat against the wood. As he closes in on you, your palm cracks across the blind side of Aemond’s face, and he grins. You have often thought that it should have been reversed, you wed to Aegon and Aemond to Helaena. You would not be so scandalized by Aegon’s vices; Aemond would be chivalrous with a meek, compliant wife. But alas, Helaena was born first, and the arrangement was set in stone long before any of your natures became apparent.

Aemond unfastens your robe and reaches under your nightgown of white cotton. “Open your legs.”

“No.” It is always this way with him; it always has been. You fight and he vanquishes, and both of you enjoy it.

He forces your thighs apart and you moan, the resistance bleeding out of you, you muscles going soft and yielding, Aemond radiant with this clandestine conquest on a night when nothing else is under his control. He can only love you when you’re tamed and tractable. Sometimes you think he likes that you don’t have a dragon, that your egg never hatched, that all of the unclaimed beasts denied you. You will always be vulnerable, powerless, at his mercy.

You cling to Aemond, your arms around his neck. He knows exactly what you need because you’ve already done this, more times than either of you could count: everything besides what could get you pregnant, and not just because Aemond would rather slit his own throat than have bastards like Rhaenyra’s. It’s something you’re both saving until at last you are married, and no one except The Stranger can separate you.

You gasp and Aemond growls through your hair: “Shh. Hurry up.”

“I missed you.”

“I know.” He doesn’t have to say it back; if he hadn’t missed you, he wouldn’t be here right now, two fingers buried to the knuckles and the heel of his hand grinding against you, almost, almost, almost…

The bedchamber door bangs opens, and Aegon saunters in with a goblet of wine, emeralds gleaming on the rim.

“Stop,” you tell Aemond, but he knows you don’t mean it, not really; beneath your nightgown his hand works faster, more roughly. You sigh and kiss him, deep and messy, surrendering, very close.

Aegon takes a swig of wine, licks the stray drops from his lips, and frowns down at you both, slightly intrigued but mostly nauseated. He cannot fathom a hunger for his own.

Aemond looks to him and says casually: “Do you want something?”

“I do, actually,” Aegon replies. “Were you planning to thank me?”

“Thank you for what?”

“For what I did for you in the council chamber, obviously. For the feast.”

“I’ll consider it.”

“Thank you, Aegon,” you say, and you are sincere.

Aegon raises his goblet in a mock toast. “That’s very kind, Red, but I wasn’t asking you.”

You whimper against Aemond’s throat, embarrassed but in ecstasy, not able to hold off much longer. “Aemond, just thank him.”

“Well I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment.”

“That’s okay,” Aegon says. “I can wait.” He sits at the end of the bed, then bounces up and down a few times. “Oh, this is a great mattress! Very soft, like sleeping on a cloud! Why isn’t mine this nice?”

“Probably because you’ve ejaculated all over it five thousand times,” Aemond says.

“Oh, right,” Aegon jests. “Not quite that frequently, I think.”

“Aemond,” you plead breathlessly. “Just say thank you. Get rid of him.”

Aemond sighs and, with his hand still beneath your nightgown, turns to Aegon. “Thank you.”

Aegon smirks, mischievous. “And how will you repay me?”

“By overcompensating for your shortcomings in order to ensure the enduring success of our family, as I have done since birth.”

“Of course,” Aegon says, though a bit distantly.

Aemond glances down at you and then asks his brother: “Were you hoping to join us?” It’s not a serious question; if Aegon ever tried to touch you with genuine desire, Aemond would break both his arms. Fortunately, Aegon is the closest thing you’ll ever have to a real brother, and thus his limbs are safe.

Aegon chuckles and stands. “No, this is a bit unsavory, even for my taste.” He gulps the last of his wine and says as he leaves: “Enjoy, freaks.”

“Bye, Aegon,” you call, laughing. He waves and then closes the door behind him.

Seconds later—twenty, thirty, time evaporates like mist burned away at dawn—Aemond is making you come, and then you are yanking off his trousers and taking him in your mouth, and when you do this he always has to be touching you, smoothing back your hair, telling you how well you’re doing, and even though he warns you so you can pull away if you choose to, tonight you swallow every last drop of him and think of the sea that Lucerys Velaryon’s scraps tumbled into, the mineral bite of salt and metal and blood.

But when he finishes, Aemond doesn’t collapse like a dead man as he usually does. He throws you onto your back, licks and nuzzles his way down your breasts and belly, parts your legs and murmurs against the inside of your thigh before he begins again: “I want you, I want you, I want you, I can’t wait much longer.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s one of your earliest memories. You are in the garden, and it’s a blazing hot day, and a million varieties of blooms cut through the greenery: goldenrods, orchids, lilies, irises, daisies, bellflowers, red roses, blue forget-me-nots. Butterflies whirl in the air and land on Helaena’s outstretched fingertips. Grandsire is slapping Aegon and calling him an imbecile for trying to pet a bumblebee, and Aegon is wailing: But it’s fuzzy! Why can’t I hold it?!

You must not be very steady on your feet yet, because Aemond is pulling you up by both of your hands and asking: If I ran, do you think you could catch me?

Yes, you had said, and then you’d staggered after him as he darted into the foliage. Under the shade of blossoms and shrubs that towered so much taller than you, you tripped and fell and scraped your palms, one of them bleeding from striking a pebble. You cried out, but no one was there to pick you up: no Mother, no Criston, no Helaena or Aegon. You wept pitifully, thinking—as children do—that you would be lost forever, that you would never see your family again.

But Aemond came back for you, and he studied your bloodied palm, carefully plucking out every grain of brown soil; and then he kissed it, held it against his cheek, painted himself with the scarlet ink of your arteries and veins.

See? he had said, smiling so you knew everything would be okay. Now we’re both red.

~~~~~~~~~~

“How are the babies?” Aemond asks when he arrives, dressed for the feast in a green tunic embroidered with shimmering gold threads in the shapes of dragons, flying, shrieking, breathing fire. Helaena made it for him, of course. Each of you have wardrobes full of garments she’s sewn, a collection of Aegon’s woodcarvings scattered around your rooms, seashell mosaics hanging from walls: insects for Helaena, Sunfyre for Aegon, heroes from myths for Aemond.

You grin over your shoulder. “Come see them.”

It’s dusk now, so they are leaving the roost you keep in one corner of your bedchamber, covered with dark velvet to blot out light and sound as they slumber. Aemond kneels beside you and holds out his hand so River can scurry from your palm into his, clawing with his hooklike appendages. All of your bats are named after blue things—Blueberry, Sailfish, Clear Sky, Bluejay, Misty, Dragonfly, Lagoon, Lightning, Kingfisher—just as Aemond’s hawks and war horses are given names like Fox and Rusty and Cherry and Pomegranate. He is the only one who defends your pets when Mother threatens to banish them back to the Godswood or the seaside cliffs. You have no dragon; you must find solace with some other creature that inspires dread and revulsion. But you think they’re beautiful, and strange, and fearless, and wrongly unloved.

“Let’s move things along,” Aegon says as he appears in the doorway, wearing all green except for the Conqueror’s crown. “No one can dig into the roast boar until the guest of honor enters the Great Hall. So I need Aemond to show up immediately.”

“Almost ready,” Aemond replies without looking away from River, who is now scrambling up his forearm. Lighting takes flight and attempts to land on Aegon’s shoulder; Aegon yelps and flings him away.

“No, you can’t!” you say, rushing across the room to scoop up Lightning and cradle him in your arms. Fortunately, he is unharmed. “I told you, Aegon. They have tiny bones, you have to be gentle or you’ll hurt them.”

Aegon shudders. “They’re fucking disgusting. Rats with wings.”

Aemond sets River on the windowsill, goes to his brother, shoves him hard; Aegon’s back hits the wall. His crown is knocked from his head and clatters against the floor.

“I’m not apologizing,” Aegon insists. “I’m a victim of grave injustice. I was attacked. That thing could have bitten me.”

You say to Aemond in High Valyrian: “Should we do this for a while to annoy him?”

Aemond smiles. “Yes. We should talk a lot. A great amount, we should talk. Very much talking.”

“Hey, hey, stop that,” Aegon says.

“Aemond, what else will they serve besides boar?”

“I heard something about pies.”

“What kinds of pies?”

“Who knows. Maybe apple, or cherry, or plum…”

“Oh, I adore apple pies. Perfect for autumn. I could eat them all day.”

“I could eat you all day.”

“Don’t tease me, or we’ll never make it to the feast.”

Aegon is distressed. “I mean it! Stop!”

“They aren’t saying anything important,” Helaena assures him as she swishes into your bedchamber wearing a butter yellow gown. In her hair are gold pins shaped like ladybugs.

“Okay, but what are they talking about?”

Helaena says matter-of-factly: “Sex and pastries.”

Aegon groans and rolls his eyes. “Why did I ask. Okay, time to go.”

You walk together to the Great Hall, where Helaena and Jaehaera and Grandsire will dance in the center of the floor, and you and Aemond will whisper in shadowy corners, and Mother will peer around worriedly with her large watery eyes as Criston yearns to console her, and Aegon will smile patiently and never scold Jaehaerys when he gets underfoot or spills his pomegranate juice.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s another game, or maybe it’s a ritual; you are a little girl again, and every once in a while, without any warning, Aemond will shove you into a closet or a heavy wooden trunk and lock you inside. You will scream and pound on the door, but no one will hear, and you will spend what feels like hours alone in the darkness, wondering if this will be the time when you are not discovered until you have died of thirst and hunger, until there is nothing left but bones.

Then you hear approaching footsteps and Aemond lets you out, and when you strike and scratch at him he embraces you fiercely, like he’s a soldier who’s been away for a year or more; and he holds you until you stop fighting it and your heartbeat goes quiet in your chest.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🛸🖤Midheaven in the signs🖤🛸

❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️

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🖤Masterlist🖤

🛸Midheaven in Aries: Self-confidence and extroversion are their main tools; self-sufficient, they seek to prove themselves at all levels. Professional careers that involve movement, individual action and proving their leadership abilities are favorable to them.

🛸Midheaven in Taurus: Their perseverance and determination help them achieve their goals. They take into account their gifts, resources and abilities and how to exploit them. Professional careers that allow them to manifest beauty and practicality are favorable to them, such as agriculture, sculpture, architecture, agronomy, painting and finance.

🛸Midheaven in Gemini: Great communication skills. Flexible, analytical, receptive, agile, versatile, adaptable, with great observational capacity, they can carry out several tasks at once without problems. Professional careers linked to the processes of communication and contact with society are favorable to them, such as journalism, commerce, diplomacy and education.

🛸Midheaven in Cancer: Planners and protectors; Individualistic, sensitive, firm and intuitive. Another point to keep in mind is to practice fluidity in your daily life. Professional careers that help channel assistance to others are favorable for you, such as psychology, gynecology, cooking and psychotherapy.

🛸Midheaven in Leo: You pursue success relentlessly, and sometimes you do not allow yourself to enjoy it. You have clear objectives and the perseverance and tenacity necessary to achieve them. Noble, generous, motivating, trustworthy, with leadership skills; you must learn to control arrogance. Professional careers with great autonomy are favorable for you, such as political positions, business management and dramaturgy.

🛸Midheaven in Virgo: You maintain a constant and methodical effort to achieve your objectives; critical, detail-oriented, positive, organized, innovative and with a great willingness to learn. You must avoid neuroses and the accumulation of objects. Professional careers oriented towards collaboration and with an appreciation of details, such as mechanics, languages, nutrition and crafts, are favorable for you.

🛸Midheaven in Libra: They plan and execute their strategy calmly, taking care of the details and feasibility. They are sociable, adaptable and diplomatic, and they like harmony. Professional careers that offer variety and where they can comfortably develop their sense of justice and balance are favorable to them. A classic example is the study of law, diplomacy, public relations and the arts.

🛸Midheaven in Scorpio: They have a tendency to manipulate others to achieve their interests. Ambitious, determined, direct, brave, skillful and capable of facing difficult transformation processes. Professional careers that privilege research and strategy are favorable to them, such as psychoanalyst, psychiatrist, private investigator, chemist and anthropologist.

🛸Midheaven in Sagittarius: They are constantly moving. Intuitive, open, creative, with strong convictions and ideals. They are favourable to professional careers that work directly by appealing to the philosophy of life of individuals, such as religion, philosophy, or spiritual guidance. They also excel in astronomy, ecology and sports.

🛸Midheaven in Capricorn: Ambitious, practical, predictable and modest. Protective, efficient, serious, concentrated, focused, they can fall into nonconformity and obstinacy, in relation to the results they obtain. They are favourable to professional careers that require their knowledge of administration and organization, such as architecture, politics, administration of companies or public institutions, and geology.

🛸Midheaven in Aquarius: They wish to build a better world for everyone, but they feel the need to constantly test the scope of their knowledge. This position indicates a constant search for wisdom. Cooperators, avant-garde, they must cultivate the freedom of spirit to achieve the awakening of consciousness they long for. They are favourable to professional careers that promote the use of technologies and the mass dissemination of ideas, such as journalist, writer, community manager, publicist and others.

🛸Midheaven in Pisces: Patient, sensitive, simple and compassionate, they seek to understand the meaning of life, so they have philosophical and religious concerns, as well as a deep desire to live with simplicity. They must learn that spirituality is not a concept at odds with success. Professional careers related to the management and expression of feelings, such as the arts, psychology, research and public relations, are favorable to them.

[rose-maidenn]

🔸️Pick a card 🔸️

1-2-3

♧Let me describe the way you speak

♤What do people think of that

◇ A tip

Hi guys so nice to see you here I hope life's been extra sweet to the sweet angel that you are ❤️✨️ for this reading choose a picture from the above intuitively, take what resonates and leave the rest , enjoyyy ✨️

Images via Pinterest, dividers by @enchanthings

Pile 1 :

♧Let me describe the way you speak

What I get is that your voice is kinda breathy and you speak like an ancient wanderer who has seen a lot of the world, I feel like you're someone to whom people come for advice , also one of your friends is forwarding your voice messages to a secret lover omg 😂 don't worry this isn't creepy because that can be someone from your friend group . Your prime aim of speech seems to be motivating people, though you don't claim to know a lot but whatever you know you know it by your heart and that's what makes you loved among your friends and feared among your enemies

♤What do people think of that

People think you're the light to their shadow no really you sound like an angel like a billie eilish , lana del vibe really 💌 it screams a bunny like maiden energy but also a very wise women by the way you speak , I feel like some people are naturally inclined to ask you for directions the visitors in your city , you might have a mole on your face that's so attractive . People might wanna set your voice as a lullaby .

◇ A tip

Okay so get that you might stutter at the pronunciation of a certain letter in the alphabet , I get that you should observe the mouth movement of the people who talk to you it will help you a lot , Avoid cold foods if you have migrane issues . Elevate your knowledge to about some recent social or celebrity news as well because soon you're gonna find a group that's gonna help you go far ahead so win the world my little angel 🎀

Pile 2 :

♧Let me describe the way you speak

I think most people here are people who are contralto , alto or husky voiced , more men might be here as well , your voice seems like the one in those youtube audios all I can say is your voice is ultra s**y it's silky like butter on fresh bread or water , your voice is versatile you also might be into beat boxing or rapping . You have nice breath control . The prime aim of your speech is to keep your thoughts to the world , you're up to date in studies and social affairs .

♤What do people think of that

People down right want your voice ❤️‍🔥 you're like an husky Ariel .you have nice pronunciation, because of having a deep voice if you rap often people find it so attractive and want to learn they literally mimic how to speak like you but it's actually so natural to know you don't even try . You're someone who might be able to talk to a room full of people and make them listen to what you have to say because of how much emphasis you can put through your voice .

◇ A tip

Though you're good at sentence formation, you often mess up a little on how to say a certain word in a sentence like " I think a bird is meant to be free " here if the subject is the bird your voice might put more focus on the meant and it's very subconscious so try putting more emphasis on what you want to get through to the people. What a good life to be as amazing as you ❤️‍🔥

Pile 3 :

♧Let me describe the way you speak

You have a very indigenous voice, a voice that reeks of mountains or ancient voice very beautiful sultry or gorgeous✨️ , a very country or folk song oriented voice , a voice that reaches the blood of the people your larynx seems to work like an instrument, some of you might have learned music as a child like doremifa or saregamapa you're a great singer . On the other hand some people in this pile might also have a very shrill feminine voice that's loud but commanding very unique voice like 2000s Paris Hilton vibe .

♤What do people think of that

You remind people of their roots I feel like your political stances are very appreciated they like the way you speak about your art and the instances of your life almost like poetry in motion. You might be good at selling things because of the way you passionately speak about the things you wanna Market . You will make a great youtuber because you know how to cater each audience you're very street smart . The prime aim of your speech is expression .

◇ A tip

One tip for you might be to focus on speaking up more you have so much art inside you but also you're an introvert but you know you'll do more good to the world by speaking more than keeping it to yourself , ofcourse take your time as to be comfortable around your setting to let your true thoughts flow from your heart to your throat , it's more like this because you're a little scared also a blockage in your heart chakra work on it I'm sure you're a rock star ✨️

Thanks for being here ❤️ dm to book a personal reading ✨️

[acotarxreader]

Tell me, Party Girl

Azriel x Reader (Cassian's sister)

Synopsis: Your former party girl title rears it's head again as you try to escape the reality of The House of Winds newest resident, Nesta. Very quickly tension bubbles over between you and the night courts current 365 party girl, leaving Azriel to do what he does best.

Warnings: Angst, Nesta being so rude, mentions of alcoholism, fluffy

A/N: You guys! Hello! I have missed writing for you friends! Sorry for being a lil MIA especially with Azriel fics. Let me know what you guys think of this!

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Flashes of iridescent technicolour filled the darkened room, the free spirits of the Autumn Court escaping their world's trials and tribulations. Pounding music like nowhere else in the whole of Prythian filled the club scene, as you swirled effortlessly into the centre of the floor. Your hands flowed above your head, the flickers of light passed through your fingers as your head tilted back, lost in the world of the music. Fae bumped into you, with little notice given by you, following their own flow away from their earthly body. The floor of this long-forgotten former base was the scene of many a moment lost and gained to powerful music envied by the rest of Prythian and felt by so few. Unfortunately, as soon as you felt the peace in the vibrations, the heavy boots of Autumn court troops shook the room out of serenity. You snapped from your inner world back to the world of ruined fun, fae ran from every which direction, doing their best to evade capture and wrongful retribution. You followed your own intuition, skillfully avoiding the guards and ducking into the surrounding wood for cover. Your dancing shoes found it difficult to adapt to their new purpose of dashing over thickets of roots to take cover in, sending you crashing into damp dusk moss. 

“Need a hand?” You exhaled loudly towards the source of the words, reluctant to look up and find the scolding source. You pushed onto the backs of your legs, the sound of guards circling but unable to see you through the shield you emitted. 

“Your power has so much more use than partying YN, if only I could convince you to join my team” A gloved hand reached down, your knees split from the fall, the blood now flowing as you allowed him to pull you up. 

“Whatever Az, as if he’d allow me on any of the fun missions. Taking me back to my cell?”

“Do you mean your plush room in a palace? Then yes” he smiled softly, tucking your arm close to him, shadows ran up and down your bare legs attempting to bring some semblance of heat back to them.

“A gilded cage is still a cage” You sighed, a sympathetic smile growing on his face as he dissolved you both into shadow, the sound of the guards finally reaching you both a distant memory, to match the freedom you briefly felt. 

The landing to your House of Wind living quarters was as gentle as ever, Azriel in full knowledge of your hatred for winnowing. You threw yourself down on the edge of your bed, your ruined shoes being kicked free. 

“Night YN” Azriel smiled as you flattened yourself out of the delicate sheets, eyes fixed on the swirl of stars painted across the ceiling. 

“Where’s my keeper?”

“He’s busy getting nowhere with Nesta” he laughed quietly while you uprighted yourself to look towards the Shadowsinger again, a smirk painting your face. 

“I enjoy the stress that female puts on my dear brother, it keeps me young and beautiful” You grinned, striding over to sit at your vanity, your fingers pulling stray sticks from your locks.

“You don’t need help with that” 

“What?” You turned to question Azriel’s barely audible words but he had already gone, leaving you alone again, the wind reverberating against the towering windows. 

-

You sauntered into the long dining room, your footsteps against the stone cutting into the clearly awkward silence between the three other residents of the House of Wind. The legs of the large oak chair scrapped along the worn stone, making Nesta recoil slightly from the other end of the table, Cassian watching her face carefully from the opposite end. Azriel looked grateful to have you sit across from him, anything to end the tension between the two on either side of him. 

“So, sent dear Azzie out to fetch me again brother?” or start new tension Azriel thought, your almost bored words dragging Cassian's eyes to you. 

“You shouldn’t go to those parties, anything could happen you”

“Yeah like a break from you two...or something interesting” You muttered down to your grapefruit, Azriel’s foot briefly tipping against the top of your toes in a comforting movement so short you couldn’t say it happened for sure. 

“They’re all out to stop our freedom YN” Nesta chewed out, a blow clearly directed towards Cassian who threw a glare to her. You didn't hate Nesta per say, sure she kept your brother occupied which allowed you more time to sneak away but you paid the price of having to deal with her tantrums. As well as having to deal with the foul moods she put your brother in.

“I appreciate the support Nesta but with all due respect you’re a traumatised, spendthrift, alcoholic, I just have a control freak for a brother” Azriel nearly choked on the orange segments he ate with bad timing as now both Nesta and Cassian directed their annoyance towards you.  Neither heated glance fazed you, you knew Cassian's weak spots since a child and as for Nesta, she wasn’t yet up to the skill it would take to leave a scratch on you and so there you sat, eating your grapefruit with a smug sense of comfort. 

“Takes one to know one” Nesta scoffed towards her breakfast. 

“Excuse me?” You bit back, Azriel’s foot gently tapping you again, its reassurance doing little to your escalating anger, a stray shadow now wrapping around your ankle.

“Don’t play all high and mighty, Cassian’s told me all about the whoring party girl you used to be-”

“-Enough Nesta” Azriel spoke with a slow composure that conveyed a level of anger you prayed never to be on the other end of. 

“Why!? You’re all allowed to talk about my drinking and fucking!? Why can’t I talk about the original party girl of the group? The female that got so drunk that she slept through Tamlin and his father stealing away Rhysand’s sister? Some lady in waiting you are! Or should I say were?” Venom from Nesta’s tongue stung more than any blow her power could deliver. Your deepest regret, the deepest darkest lowest point of your 500 years on this Earth, thrown at you like it was nothing. You thought about that night often, how you just wanted one night of entire numbing, to not feel the deep scars down your back where your wings once were just once and how you would pay the price of that for centuries after. You screeched the chair along the slate again, standing with escalating anger as Cassian began reprimanding Nesta.

“I hope you never feel an ounce of what I did that night Nesta, I hope you get everything you want in life and it still not be enough” Your voice was an even calmness that came with pure white-hot rage as tears began to brim along your lash line. You met the dining room door quickly, the room descending into a deeper realm of tension than when you had arrived. 

“And I also hope you fall down those steps your feeble muscles can’t even bring you down” You added before slamming the door of the dining room, jolting Cassian slightly. Azriel stood from his place, his fingertips pressed into the oak as it pushed back against him. 

“Speak to her like that again and I’ll personally help Rhysand kick your sorry ass to the wilderness” Azriel often avoided full eye contact with Nesta and yet this time found himself staring down Lady Death with only rage bubbling through his veins.

—

You flung your favourite clothes into the rucksack Cassian had carried through his first war. You looked down at its deep indigo colouring, its tattered fabric a reminder of the battles your brother fought for his people, for you. 

“YNN?” Azriel called softly from the other side of your door, shadows beginning to leak under the doorframe. You sank into your power, vanishing from visibility as Azriel entered the room slowly. He crossed to your bag and tipped the contents back onto the bed, his shadows curling into him. 

“I know you’re here YNN” You didn’t respond to him, his eyes still fixed on your clothing until shadows darted from his side and pinned you against the silver wallpaper of your room.

“Agh! Cheater!” You called back, dissolving the mist of invisibility you had built. 

“You know I will always find you, no matter where you run to” He smiled sweetly at you before glancing at the emptied bag of your belongings. 

“I know, an annoying characteristic of yours that I love” You laughed, his shadows releasing their hold allowing you to return to pack your bag at Azriel’s side. 

“She was being an idiot, you know no one blames you for what happened?” You didn’t reply to his gentle words. For centuries you fought the demon in you blaming you for that night, how you might have stopped it if you hadn’t been licking your wounds. Countless times the Inner circle absolved you of blame, reminded you that regardless you wouldn’t have been able to stop a High Lord and his son, how no one ever for an ounce of time thought you should pay the penance you had set on yourself. 

“Cassian is downstairs reprimanding her, pretty sure she’ll be getting the silent treatment for a while” he added.

“That shit probably turns her on”

“So snarky for, what was it? A former party girl whore?” He laughed back at you, your eyes finally returning to his, your own grin forming. 

“If the shoe fits” You held up your disregarded pump from last night's antics, Azriel taking it from you, his marred hands dusting off the now-dried peat.

“Well, hopefully, the whore part doesn’t fit you anymore” he looked from the satin fabric forever stained back to you. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You chuckled, returning your clothing back to the rucksack, his free hand taking hold of yours as it made its way to gather more articles of clothing.

“I would actually, tell me, tell me about the males who try with no success and great success. Tell me so I may hunt them down and destroy them for ever thinking themselves worthy of the moon, a beauty we mere Earth dwellers may only admire from afar. Tell me YN, tell me so I may stop searching every room I enter in hopes I find you there and not wrapped around some other male. Tell me so I can find comfort in the invisibility you are blessed with that I am cursed with. Tell me, party girl, tell me so I can move on from you” Azriel’s words hung in their honesty between you like apples on a tree. Yours to take or yours to leave. 

“How-how do you always know where to find me Azriel?” You found yourself asking, your eyes looking from his down to the shoe he held. He would always come for you before you even knew you needed him, always there to your rescue or support. Always there to defend your antics to Cassian when he feared his sister was lost to her old self again. Always there to pull you back before you could meet that old self again. Always there. 

“I think you know YN” his voice like smoke and glowing embers, comforting you as it always did, tethering you to him like it always did. Tethering. 

“You’re my mate” It came out like a statement, not a question, a statement of something always true but not always obvious to you. Had your gift been obscuring the truth from you or had it been your own selfish ways, it didn't matter, what mattered was-

“Yes, I’m your mate, yours YN but you are free to be anyone else's or no one’s at all, I will not add to the gilded cage” he dropped the shoe, moving to release your hand only to find yours tighten its grip, charged with a quiet intensity that had never been there before. His hand lifted, trembling slightly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, last night's make-up probably still smudged in your waterline. The touch lingered, his fingers tracing the curve of your cheek until your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned into the touch, the warmth of his palm soothing every frayed nerve that ever jolted in your body. Azriel leaned in, unable to deny himself any longer, knowing now that you wanted this to. That you wanted him. The kiss was gentle, glowing like a realisation that all you had both ever wanted had always been down the hall from one another. His hand found the back of your neck, pulling you in closer as you reassured him with soft breaths that you wanted this, wanted all of him. Never wanting it to end but also not wanting to suffocate. You separated with somewhat sharp breaths, oxygen flooding your blood again. 

“How long did you know Az?”

“The night Spring took our family and I found you passed out at the end of your bed, your back still raw from that sick sick cruelty of our blood-” his hand travelled from your neck down to your shoulderblades, the small mounds of scars pressing into the soft fabric of your shirt “-I lifted you into your bed and just, just stayed watching you all night from your vanity chair, watching your breath and holding my own breath every inhale you took, waiting for the exhale. You used to really scare us YN”

“I know” You ran the back of your hand down his cheek, soaking up the stray tear that leaked from his eyes. 

“I-I never admitted this to anyone but I felt-I felt relief finding you there, that-that they didn’t take you too, that they didn’t hurt you like they hurt them” his head dipped in shame, a secret he held since that night. You kissed him sweetly then, pushing away his growing sorrow. 

“I’ll admit the same to you, I felt relief when I found out you didn’t accompany Rhysand to Amarantha’s ball like you were supposed to, that she didn’t get you too” You dipped your glance briefly at your admission before Azriel surprised you by smiling. 

“Rhysand has terrible friends, one of them is trying to fuck his sister-in-law and two others are glad it's him and not them that the terrible things happen to” You laughed at his obvious parody of your lives. You sat on the bed, the rucksack sinking into the bed beneath your hips, Azriel joining your side. 

“Where were you going to run to?” He found his curiosity asking, his shadows swirling lovingly around you. 

“There’s this party at this old bunker in Winter Court I was going to check out”

“An old bunker? Are they ever in buildings that haven’t been condemned?” he chuckled, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. 

“Not any good ones” you returned the laugh. 

“Are mates welcome?” 

“I don’t know does the whole mate thing really go with the party girl whore image I apparently projected” 

“Maybe that's okay too” he smiled, your head leaning into his shoulder.

“I think so too”

--------------------------

Whatcha think???

[buriedpentacles]

10 Simple Ways to Worship Mother Nature

These could apply to any earthly god or goddess really, so feel free to borrow any ideas that speak to you! And please tell me about how you worship your deity, I'd love to know 💚🪲

Going for daily, mindful walks. Sometimes I'll listen to music, other times I'll just listen to the world around me.

Wear a lot of greens and browns, as well as recycled and more sustainable fabrics (a lot of my clothes are also thrifted, and I try to avoid overconsumption)

Decorate my space with earthy colours, posters and pieces of the earth - I have crystals, bones, pressed flowers and even rocks and twigs in my room

Learn about nature and the world around me - I am a zoology student so my academic career is also a devotion to Mother Nature but I also learn about what animals I can see locally, I study when and where flowers bloom and how to tell when rain is coming etc

Reconnect with my more primal side - a significant part of my work with Mother Nature is reognising and accepting that humans are animals, and we behave as such; we cannot allow ourselves to become seperate from wilderness. To me, this involves connecting with my intuition and gut feelings, recognising my emotions and desires and working with them

Making and wearing daisy chains or flower crowns

Creating art inspired by the world around me and myself

Caring for animals (that includes other humans) when I can and it's safe: from helping a snail move across the path, to making sure a dying bird can rest peacefully, to giving food and money to the homeless

Loving myself, though it isn't always easy

Spending time outside with my hands in the dirt or streams, speaking with the trees and birds and listening to their replies

[astrobydalia]

🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨

Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩

work by astrobydalia

Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.

Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment

Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down

In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)

Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn

80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...

Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately

Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.

We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.

Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.

^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them

The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho

I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution

Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭

Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house

Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love

A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry

We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated

You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them

Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.

If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual

Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot

Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner

People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos

I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is

Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭

Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense

+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion

+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret

If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely

Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion

Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature

virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...

Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously

Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.

My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)

I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.

I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭

One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it

Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently

Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.

Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true

Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand

I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)

work by astrobydalia

[krys4h]

𝐞𝐦𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐲 ☆

𓍯 taking someone's virginity in a room you didn't remember entering wasn't in your plans tonight, but alcohol and Choso was a deadly combo.

contents : 4.3k, au university, fem!reader, virgin!choso, tattooed!choso, nsfw, smut with plot, alcohol, dry humping, masturbation, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, first time, creampie, praise, oral sex (f receving), pet name (baby), choso is a softie, confident reader, reader has acrylics, lot of jewelry and a belly piercing, the warped tour is still active, minors dni.

The exams was finally over and everyone only wanted one thing : partying.

You were no different. Dressed in a flattering tank top that hugged your chest beautifully and a slim jeans, you were ready for to have fun. It felt good for you to have the opportunity to get dolled up, you barely had the energy to do your makeup sometimes when you were focused on your studies. But now you had plenty of times to take care of yourself and wear cute outfits at parties like now.

The party was giant, you weren’t close with the person who hosted it, but they certainly had money. Most of the people was smoking in living room, the smell of weed was omnipresent. The music blasted loudly in the big speakers, you needed sometimes to cover your ears to listen to your friends.

“What?” you repeated a few times, lowering your head to them. “Haunted” by Beyoncé was playing and you couldn’t help vibing to the song. It was a remix with the ending of it extended and it intensified the sound beautifully.

“Isn’t that Choso?” your friends pointed, and that alone caught all your attention.

You stopped immediately what you were doing and glanced at the direction they were looking in. Alone against a wall and far from the crowd, your crush was standing with a red cup in hand. You heart raced at the sight. He wasn’t the type to party, so you were excited to see him here.

“Sorry, I’ll be back later,” you smiled at your friends, your eyes on him, your feet already moving.

They chuckled, knew already that you would do that. Everyone knew you had a thing for him, except him maybe. Choso wasn’t really the most intuitive person on earth, he kind of struggled with a lot of things socially. But you always loved his aloof behavior, he had that “nerdy charisma” that was difficult to explain.

Lost in thoughts and his head lowered, he didn’t noticed you approaching first. It was when he hear the near heels and jewelry sounds. His eyes looked up to you and his heart raced when he realized you were coming for him. He shifted a bit, gripping his cup. If you weren’t used to see in you English class, you would think he hated you with the distant air he displayed. But you knew deep down that Choso was a softie.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a soft voice, a cup similar to his in your hand.

“Hey.” His eyes shifted, looking down, avoiding looking at you.

You leaned against the wall next to him, your head side on it. You stared at Choso, noticing his eye bags. It was kind of sexy on him.

“It’s cool to see you, you’ve never came in these type of parties,” you said, the alcohol making you way more extroverted than you were. Your gaze lingered on his rock band shirt, pulled a bit on it. “My chemical romance?” you raised an eyebrow, “Is that what you’re listening when you have your headphone?”

Heat came to his face when you tugged on his shirt, he tried to play it cool.

“Yuji wanted me to go with him so… Yeah, I listen to-”

“You’re not gonna look at me?”

He scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks pinkish.

“Sorry,” Choso mumbled, finally laying his eyes on you but your beauty slapped his face. This is exactly why he preferred looking at the ground. It would never make him agitated and mesmerized like you did now. You were glowing with your makeup and the earrings you were wearing, he liked everything about your appearance.

His gaze fell on your lips for a second, absorbed by your lipgloss but shifted quickly to look away, not wanting to be impolite.

You chuckled, finding cute how anxious he was for you. He wasn’t like that with anybody in the campus, barely even acknowledged people and showed emotions on his face. You got closer to him, enjoying your unusual confidence.

“You seems nervous,” you smiled, sipping on your cup.

God, you were making this hard for him.

“No, I-”

“You know, I have an idea,” you placed you cup on a nearby surface. He widened his eyes when you wrapped your arms around his neck, his breath coming short.

“Why don’t you have fun with me? It’s better than staying alone here,” you whispered, you face close to his. You stared at his lip piercings, already feeling your stomach warming at the idea in your head.

You were too intoxicated to be embarrassed of yourself, nothing could stop you.

“Uh, I…,” Choso stammered, he almost lost balance when you clanged to him, forced to hold your waist.

His head was gonna explode. He never really spoke to any girls, and was even scared to say anything to you in class. He had a thing for you since the day he saw you, but was inexperienced with women.

Sure that your feelings was reciprocated because of his nervousness, you didn’t waste time. You leaned against him and his breath stopped when your lips met his. The fervor with which you kissed him made him weak, his hands trembled against you. He couldn’t believe what was happening, yet he didn’t reject you. He dreamed of this many times.

Your tongue grazed at his snake bites piercings and he let out a low gasp in your mouth. His heart pounded, he was overwhelmed by you, not knowing what to do but letting you dominate.

Pressed against the wall, he forgot all the people surrounding the two of us, only feeling your tongue.

“So?” you breathed against his lips.

He nodded almost immediately. You smirked before leaning to make out again.

You don’t know how the two of you found a way toward an empty room, your mind too hazy to grasp anything, but you know how cold his tongue piercing could be when he brushed it against yours.

Holding you by the waist, Choso carried you while kissing you. His tongue strokes was a bit clumsy, but he tried his best to follow you. You dipped your hand in his long hair, moaning softly when he knocked you against a door. He struggled to find the door handle, too busy grinding against you. He wanted to be buried in you so bad, his mind was in fire. He never felt that type of urge before. Everything was happening so fast for him, he only acted on instinct now.

He opened the door with his left hand, his right arm below your ass to lift you. His ease to carry you was making you excited to see what he hid below all these a band shirts. The room was small library with a relax corner, illuminated by a luxurious low lamp. You didn’t waste any time once he sat on the sofa.

As you sat on his lap, your hips rolled against his erection and Choso let out a strangled gasp, jolting. Your hands clanged on his shirt in his back with an enthusiasm that could scare him if he wasn’t as intoxicated as you. The sound of the party outside the door was muffled, you ears peaked at each of his sighs. Choso fondled your ass, gripping at it. The friction of your jeans rubbing against each other made him hissing, his expression contorted in a grimace.

He dreamed of this moment, having your ass in full display, his hands free of touching you all over. His eyes looked up to you.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed, slightly panting.

“Don’t worry.”

You took his hands and placed on your hips. He swallowed, still unsure of himself.

Anybody looking at Choso knew he never felt the touch of a woman. He barely opened his mouth in class, wasn't very approachable and everything that wasn't about Yuji and rock seemed to disinterest him. You never saw him talking to anyone beside his little brother and you wouldn’t be surprised if you were his first kiss now. 

You continued to grind against him, savoring the sensation of your jeans rubbing against your clothed clit. You were already wet down here, your mind wasn’t even thinking of a plan, you were just vibing. The friction felt so good. His hands shook on your hips, nervous.

You gave him a languid kiss and caressed his chest, trying to ease his anxiety. You swallowed all of his sighs and gasps.

“Is this your first time?” you whispered next to his ear, “You don’t have to do it, I can stop now if you want.”

Your hands in his hair and your breath in his neck was too much for him. He struggled to respond.

“It’s okay, I…” he begun and cleared his throat, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“Can I show you?”

You placed your hands on his.

“How do you want me to move?” you smiled at his nervous gaze, “Choose the pace.”

His grip was hesitant at first, his palms sweaty. As you rode him, he slowly took charge and guided your movements. His warm breath caressed your neck as you rubbed against each other.

Your close-fitted top was making his jean tighten every time you rolled your hips and your chest went in front of him. He fought the urge to lift his hands to grab your breasts. You nuzzled his neck, inhaling softly.

“Can I…?” he breathed.

“Mmm?”

He mimicked you, leaning down on your neck. Your breath hitched when his lips teased your skin. His touch was unsure, testing the waters, but goes more confident when he pressed soft kisses along your throat. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he knows he wanted to make you feel good. Dreaming about you was cool, but now you were his lap.

You lowered your hands on his shoulders and caressed them, biting your lip every time your clit rubbed against the bulge of his jean.

“You’re doing well.”

He bring you closer, moving you faster.

“Am I?” he panted, looking up to you. “You’re so beautiful.”

His eyes was brilliant, mesmerized by you. Your stomach warmed at his compliment and you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“You’re so cute.”

He was doing a dangerous game talking to you like that. Your panties was already soaked from the back and forth, if he said more things like that with that low voice of his, you don’t know what you would do. Maybe sucking him off, just to hear him moan your name. Or maybe it was just the alcohol that was making you crazy with a simple phrase of him. In any case, you stood anyway, your hands on his shoulders. He looked up at you with a confused expression.

“Can I do something?”

“For me?” he frowned, as if displeased with the idea. He brought you closer, your hand played with his dark strands of hair. “I want to do something too.”

You titled your head.

“Like what?”

His hands grazed your ass, his cheeks pinkish.

“Can you just…” he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you on his lap and laid you down on the sofa. “Just tell me how to do it.”

He didn’t wanted to be the disappointment of your night so he swallowed his anxiety and bent toward you. He stood with his elbows each side of your stomach and gazed at your belly piercing. Your stomach contracted with anticipation, understanding what was going trough his head.

“You sure? You don’t have to-”

“Can that pretty mouth of yours let me please you?” he stopped you, staring at you. He bit the inside of his mouth and blushed at his own assurance. You smirked, a teasing glint in your eyes.

“Okay, baby.”

His erection intensified when he heard the pet name. Choso looked down, and swallowed a bit. He closed his eyes a moment, inhaling before starting to kiss your skin. You hold you breath. His lips roamed around your lower belly, he tasted the skin he dreamed to feel against his tongue. You stroked his hair to encourage him, feeling the softness of his black strands. His fists tensed as your acrylics grazed at his scalp.

“Uh…”

He didn’t know if he should go straight to it, or still kiss you. He hesitated and paused his mouth near your jeans button.

“Do I…”

“It’s fine.”

You helped him unbuttoning your trousers. He looked down on you.

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve never seen.”

You chuckled as you lifted your hips to take off your jeans, and threw it below the sofa. His mouth went dry at the sight.

“You’re so…” Choso was at a lost of words. The teasing look of your face, the wet trail of his kiss on your abdomen and your lace tong was too much for him. He wipe off his sweaty hands on the couch, and brushed the side of your thighs.

“I’m sorry if I’m bad,” his lips hovered over your lower body.

“Choso, I think you’re already doing a pretty good job.”

“Really?”

His pulled a bit on the elastic of your panties.

“Yeah,” you shifted on the couch, your hands on his shoulders.

He raised his eyes a bit to see your reactions, he wanted to make sure he was doing the good thing. His warm breath hit your clothed cunt, throbbing in anticipation. Without warning, he pushed the tissue of your panties to the side and kissed you.

You jolted and gasped, your hands clenched in his hair. He backed down a bit, his face worried.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No…” you shook your head and relaxed a bit, “I was just surprised.”

He craved you. He wanted to do so many things at once to you that he ended up speeding up the process. But his passion for you could overcome his inexperience if he tried hard. You knew it the second he buried his tongue in you, tasting your juices with enthusiasm. You chocked and tightened your legs around his head. He wasn’t hesitant at all.

“Show me,” he whispered.

You placed your hands on his head and guided his movements. Choso dived to your folds with his tongue, lapping up and down. You let out a low moan, he was inexperienced but he was so eager to please you, his devotion excited you so much. Your taste on his tongue was making him crazy. He craved your taste and ate you out with fervor. As you grind on his face, he held your legs against his head.

His heart raced with nervousness, his mind full of doubts. Was it good? Was it too fast? Despite that, he pushed his tongue in you with force and vigor, eager to make you more moan that you were already. You were so soaked, his mouth made lewd noises every time he moved his head up and down, making circles with his tongue. His face wet in your juices, you guided him toward your clit that he sucked with greed. You shifted on the couch, throwing your head back. You were a mess, the room was filled with your panting.

“Choso,” you breathed, “Here,” you guided him, showing where to suck and lap, and he gladly followed you.

The pit in your stomach grew as the cold metal of his tongue piercing brushed your clit and made you jolt again.

“F-Fuck!”

You struggled to stay still as you shifted on the sofa. You trapped him between your legs, he continue to ate you out, with his eyes closed, his mind dizzy. He was in heaven, you tasted so good, this is was beyond everything he dreamed for. His nose rubbed your sweet spot every time he moved his head, causing you to pant even louder.

“Come here.”

He looked up to you, his mouth still making out with your cunt.

“You want me to…”

“Yeah.”

Choso paused. He gazed at your feverish eyes, feeling a strange sensation in his stomach. He was the reason you were aroused, you seemed satisfied but he didn’t saw you come. Did he do something bad? Sensing his doubts, you smiled to him.

“Don’t worry baby, you did good,” you straightened on your elbows. “I want just need more, okay?”

You loved how devoted he was to you, but he was still inexperienced, and you knew you needed more than that. You didn’t want to make things awkward for him if it was getting repetitive, and you didn’t finish. He nodded, and get closer to kiss your cheek. He wet your skin with your slick.

“I don’t have any protection.”

“I don’t need one,” you said, tugging at his jeans. You were on pills.

He wipe off again his sweaty hands on the sofa and inhaled. It was the moment he waited for. The moment he couldn’t ruin because he liked you too much to disappoint you. Outside the door, the party continued, people unaware of what was going between you and Choso.

He stood on his knees, taking off his band shirt. Your breath caught in your throat as you discovered his lean torso. You made a mental note in your head to never underestimate introverted guys from now, because, God, he was sexy. You caressed his sides, touching his tattoos. His abs tensed when he bent over you, tilting his head. He had a shy expression on his face.

“I’m sorry if…”

“Can you just fuck me already,” you spread your legs, staring at him standing up on your elbows.

He gulped. He took off his shoes with a simple gesture of his feet, throwing them on the floor. He got closer to you, looking at you as you undressed yourself, removing the rest of your clothes. His mouth watered at your chest, he leaned down to kiss it. With the palm of his hand, he fondled one of your left breast and sucked the nipple of the right. Your fists tighten on the sofa, breathing softly.

Choso leaned back to unbutton his jeans, his muscular chest and tattoos in display. You bit the inside of your mouth, and started to caressed yourself while looking at him. He froze and widened his eyes, caught off guard. You were so fucking hot, he couldn’t believe he really had you below him. His eyes followed your movements and lingered on the circles you were doing on your sweet spot. You fingered yourself and his mouth watered again. As he quickly stripped off himself, you silently prayed nobody would enter the room, not forgetting you were at a party.

You were already close from him eating you out, but your pussy clenched when you saw his length. He looked like he didn’t get bitches, but damn. You were already excited to feel him inside you.

And him too because he slid into you without warning. He immediately caught his breath, overwhelmed by your wetness and the warmth of your entrance. It felt incredible, like anything he felt before. You whined, already sensitive, your fingers pressed against your clit.

“Wait,” you needed time to adjust to his size, and he was too abrupt.

He nodded, and let you the time you needed. He leaned down to kiss your forehead and you gave him a soft smile, your stomach warmed up. He was so sweet with you, he really treated you like someone he cared for.

He pushed his cock deeper inside you and you placed your hands on his hips, guiding him. He needed to contain himself and took things slowly. He knew he was a virgin, so it was already miracle he didn’t finished the second he was inside you. He bent over, his hand on the backrest of the couch, and thrust into you in a slow motion. He panted, his forehead sweating. Your slick covered his cock as he pulled out with caution, and he shut his eyes tight, thrusting again. Your warmth welcomed him, the sensation was divine. He did his best not to move too fast, he was scared to ruin the moment and finish early.

At first, it was what he wanted. He wanted to keep his pace gentle and precise, holding your legs around his waist, putting you in a comfortable position. He wanted to hear your soft sighs when he pushed against you, to continue to feel your acrylics planted in his biceps, to hear your hoop earrings hit against the sofa as he rocked his hips against you. But when your hands pressed his butt against you to feel him better, he lost his mind.

The room was now filled with your pants and whimpers, Choso pounding into you as if he would die if he didn’t make this right. He wasn’t jackhammering, but fucking you with long and deep strokes. He needed to fill you, and see your body twitching as he buried his cock in you.

“Is it too fast?” he panted out.

“No, it’s perfect,” you rolled your hips and followed his frantic pace.

His cock filled your tight walls as he stretched you to his size. You were a mess and breathing heavily as you clenched around his length. A gasp escaped your mouth when his thrusts became more and more aggressive.

“I dreamed of this.”

He was at lost of breath.

“I dreamed of…”

He let out a low moan, his back and forth quicker and harder. A familiar coil in your lower abdomen, your fingers circled around your spongey spot as you panted. Your body twitched when he lifted your hips even more, pushed to hilt and flushed his pelvis against you.

“C-Choso,” you stuttered and clenched your thighs around his waist.

“It’s okay, I got you.”

It was supposed to be you who reassured him, not the other way around. He gained confidence in his movements and slammed into you with force. He was fucking you with an ardent energy, your hands shook as you struggled to even touch yourself. You stammered incomprehensible things. His grip on the sofa was tight as he pounded into you. He was immersed in the sight of your tits bouncing, his mouth open and panting. He was in heaven.

Your back and forth made lewd and wet noises as you milked him, the sensation was divine for him. His hips stuttered when you tightened around him. You shut your eyes tight as you arched your back. Your orgasm traveled your body with a tremendous force. Choso’s eyes roved over you, taking in your sight as he drove his cock in you. He was so close. He lost himself within you, his strokes sloppy.

He tried to resist to the imminent feeling before his weight crashed you. His dick twitched as he emptied himself inside of you. He fell between your breasts, his breath coming in short pants, just like you. The smell of sex and sweat enveloped the two of you. For a short moment, none of you talked.

“Wow,” he turned his head on the side.

You wrapped your arms around him.

“I told you we were gonna have fun.”

He smiled against your skin.

“Yeah, but I never thought you would be…” his voice grew hesitant, “Into me.”

“You have to be blind,” your hands stroked his hair and he closed his eyes. “Everybody knew it.”

“Really?”

“My friends wouldn’t even be surprised if I told them what we did.”

His arms encircled you and he nuzzled your chest. He pressed soft kisses around your breasts, his touch gentle and not as sexual as before.

“I can’t believe what we did.”

“We can do it again if you liked it.”

He widened his eyes and you burst into laughing.

𖥸

“You sure you’re okay? Wasn’t it too rough in the end?”

“You’re so cute, Choso.”

You were sharing a blunt with him on a bench, surrounded by bushes and shrubs, not far from the party. The weed had a calming effect on you, and you were smiling since the two of you dressed yourselves. Choso’s worry was so cute to watch, he was almost apologizing for everything he did.

“Why aren’t you asking for my number instead of talking?” you glanced at him as your lips wrapped around the blunt and took a drag.

Choso blushed, caught off guard and shifted on the bench.

“It’s true…”

He swallowed and scratched the back of his neck. Choso was shy as if he wasn’t fucking you 20 minutes ago. And honestly, it was hot. Nothing was more attractive than a guy intimidated by the girl he liked. You loved his complexity, his introverted distant nature who could becoming gentle, shy and even rough.

“So…”

He pulled out his phone and tilted his head towards you.

“Yeah?”

You smiled at him, holding the blunt between your fingers.

“Can I have your number?” his eyes lingered on your lips. “And... are you free this summer?”

You gave him what he wanted and raised your eyebrow. You thought he would ask you out on weekends, but not on a specific period of time.

“It depends, why?”

He looked away for a second before responding.

“I bought tickets for the Warped Tour,” he begun, fidgeting his hands, “Yuji chose to spend his summer with Megumi so…”

His voice was hesitant, but his gaze softened when he saw your bright smile. He wasn’t sure he were into rock or even into festivals, so he was reassured.

“Of course!! You need to give me your playlist,” you scrolled on your phone with enthusiasm, and he escaped a light chuckle.

The wind breeze caressed your skin as you laughed and chatted together. He never came to these types of parties before, but now was forever grateful to come to this one.

𓍯 𝐤𝐫𝐲𝐬

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Could you Possibly do a Red and Green Flags or a NSFW analysis for Mingyu of SVT, Whichever you’d rather do if possible, Thank you

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐲𝐮 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝟏𝟖+ (𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝)

Word Count: 2.5 K (circa)

Disclaimer: This analysis is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be taken seriously or in a professional manner.

Methodology: Traditional astrology and Whole sign house analysis.

Placements:

Aries Sun (11th House)

Pisces Moon (10th House)

Gemini Rising (Mercury Ruled)

Taurus Mercury (12th House)

Aries Venus (11th House)

Virgo Mars (Retrograde 4th House)

Fuckboi Rating: 4/10

Mingyu's Aries stellium indicates he THINKS he can have sex w/o feelings and be okay with it but his Pisces Moon betrays him every time and this leads to things being MESSY!!!

His 12th House Mercury can inhibit his communication style and therefore he might be the type to keep avoiding the issue and procrastinating speaking about his feelings until he's too far into the connection.

So, his energy is not giving me fuckboi but definitely the type to pursue fwb's/situationships and then it goes horrifically wrong.

Red & Green Flags:

Red:

The 12th House Mercury is going to be a nightmare to work with as a partner because you know that scene in The Notebook where Noah is like 'what do you want? WANT DO YOU WANT?'

That's what it's going to be like with Mingyu- an indecisive mofo who cannot reveal his feelings until he's practically pushed into a corner and you're having to force it out of him.

Definitely embodies the 'one that got away' trope as he confesses his feelings when it's too late because he's too busy overthinking in his head.

An emotionally sensitive teddy bear who gets upset and dramatic over any minor issue (which is cute in my mind but I need help...).

Green:

I'm an Aries and I'm constantly defending Aries placements because we get such SHIT but he has an Aries Sun conjunct Venus which is a beautiful placement imo because his whole desire as a partner is for you to love yourself as much as he loves you.

Being in a relationship with him would be an especially healing one because he would encourage you to heal and nurture yourself with him as a supportive partner.

His Pisces Moon encourages him to be super empathetic and even have psychic abilities as a partner and he has high intuition- he would probably know what got you upset before you do.

Service oriented and a provider, I'll include this with every person who's a Virgo Mars but they truly enjoy pleasing their partner because that's what helps them feel fulfilled as a boyfriend.

Ideal Type...If He's Into Women:

Physical Traits:

Venus in Aries is interesting because they don't tend to have a specific 'physical' type but more so are drawn to energy/vibes so his type physically is all over the place.

This man is so wattpad coded omg it makes me cringe so hard but I've noticed men with an Aries Venus are attracted to girls who can rock the baggy clothing/messy bun duo- particularly with his known love for his height omg if you look hot with his clothes on!!! He'll have his hands all over you all the time.

The 4th House Mars indicates he would love a woman on the 'curvier' side and is a total peaches man for sure.

Honestly, if I'm to be blatant, I feel like Mingyu would love a short, curvy, plus-size, voluptuous whatever term you desire partner that can wear his clothes and be constantly excited whenever you see him.

The ultimate golden retriever x sunshine gf energy.

Personality Traits:

Aries Venus= humour and mischief! He wants a partner who's spontaneous, loud and sociable. The type to not take things too seriously.

Honestly, with that 5th house in Libra- he really would be attracted to the manic pixie energy type and be interested in someone who's 'quirky' and 'not like the other girls'.

The easiest way I can describe this energy is think of 2010-2018 Tumblr energy when John Green novels were at their peak in fame, the whimsical, adventurous, free-spirited type (I love and hate it at the same time).

Domestic, homely and orderly- he doesn't need a partner who's a neat freak but can clean up after themselves and doesn't need to be told or reminded constantly to do so.

Dom, Sub or Switch:

His Pisces Moon and Virgo Mars gives him a lot of flexibility with power dynamics and makes him a strong switch with dominant preference.

Mingyu is a gentle giant but he is a GIANT however and needs to feel like he is one to feel satisfied in his manhood, he doesn't care if you're the more decisive partner as long as he decides how to pleasure you in the bedroom.

He is an Aries stellium after all and the heavy Mars energy signifies he has a high drive and does still need to prove himself and show off just how hard he can have you trembling underneath him.

As a dominant, he's definitely more a pleasure-oriented soft dominant, he does love a challenge and to be teased but he's a service dom through and through.

Kinks...Just A Few Of Them:

Breeding/Pregnancy:

The 4th House is ruled by Cancer and represents domesticity and home life and I'm sure he's mentioned wanting children in the future because oh my lawdd- this is how he enjoys staking his claim.

He wants to see you full and swollen with his child, he wants to pump you full with his cum and see if it sticks because that's his way of gently claiming you and reminding you that you're his.

'My god you're a glowing sweetheart, you look so beautiful filled with me, I just want to lay you down and give you another baby'.

Nipple Play/Lactation/Anything Boobies

The 4th House influence means Mingyu is a peach and cherries man which does go hand in hand with his breeding/pregnancy kink because anything with your tatas would drive him crazy.

So yeah, I do think he would prefer someone with a big bosom that he can bury his face and leave little marks and kisses all over your chest.

If you were pregnant or breastfeeding, I'm sure he'd love to clean your milk off with his tongue and I think if he were to enter into a submissive state, he would be the type to just fall asleep and feel completely ease with your nipple in his mouth.

'You're so soft and you smell so nice, just let me keep my face here for awhile mmmh?? I'll be good, this is my comfort zone'.

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @gyuhanniescarat @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @hologramhoneymoon @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @justaaveragereader @ja3hwa @silentreaderthings @daddysspecialdollyworld @abby-grace @wisejudgedragonhairdo @smilefordongil @writhingwrecked @hongthoven

[etherfabric]

Messages from Your Protector

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

Pile 1

The Fool, The Moon rx

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Oh my dear. I see how scared you are. I know this is nothing like anything before. But somehow also exactly like the thing you were running from your whole life. I know how unclear everything seems. How uncertain. You don't dare to move one inch.

Let me tell you now: The inch is enough. And you can take all the time you need. You can't see that from where you are, but from where I am, I can tell that time isn't important. Not at all. It doesn't make sense to you, nothing lately really does. All you had was your mind to rely on, and it's slipping away from you in ways you tried to avoid your whole life. They called you crazy, a liar, a drama queen. So you swore to always pay attention to the exterior, and only stick to the hard facts, to never be accused of that again.

And now suddenly everything turns to smoke. Nothing solid, no foundation to lean on, no former structure you recognize.

You might feel doomed, cursed, imprisoned. Imprisoned in something only you can see and feel, and not even those sensory informations seems reliable. Let me tell you, my precious lightbeam: This is your initiation. It is not for nothing. Far from it.

Not everyone is called to do this, and those who are, rarely feel "good" (in the former sense of the word) during it. It's one of the highest gifts the Universe can bestow upon you, but the process of shedding and rebuilding has phases of liminality that can't be skipped. You ask why this is happening? So you have only one thing left to use and turn to, so it becomes stronger than ever: Your faith. That crazy, invisible, unprovable thing you felt your whole life and ran from. Now it's your last resort. It seems cruel, but once you allow yourself to fully embrace it, be assured, we will bathe you in light and miracles that will carry you across this abyss. Just ask. Invite us, and we will come. The famous leap of faith is your only means of transportation right now, so to speak.

We love you so, so much. And honestly, you are doing amazing already. On our plane, your light is shining brighter than ever. We were never this close to you, and we love it. We know it doesn't feel this way all the time for you, but please listen to your intuition more. It's there to help you, not harm you. Those that judged you anytime you acted upon it are on their own, separate path. Don't let them sway you. Deep inside, you know it's something big and important, what is happening right now. You are doing amazing. We love you so much. I can't say it enough. You will get through this and be thankful. Later. Maybe you can find a smidge of that gratitude now. When you let your true opinion arise within, and dare to listen.

Pile 2

7 of Pentacles rx, 10 of Pentacles

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It's already done. The seeds are planted. This is a time of winding down, breathing in what you already have, let it enrich and nourish you. No one will come and take it away, claiming you are "too lazy" or "ungrateful" to "deserve it". Who told you this? Don't you know they were talking to themselves? To their own shadow, which they cast upon you, to not be blinded by your light? My dearest soul star. Can't you feel it, behind the worry and fear, underneath it all - the hum of completion? It surrounds you, it permeates the space between your atoms, it carries you across this cosmos.

Just imagine this gigantic planet you sit upon, its own attraction to you keeping you grounded. You belong here. You deserve everything that Life gave you. You deserve everything you worked for, and also everything you never worked for and just have, AND you deserve everything that is to come. Oh, there is a lot to come. So many blessings. You don't know even half if it yet. And that's exactly how it's supposed to be.

We don't want you to be exhausted from worry when we bring it to you. We want you to be soft and open, so it can touch your inner being - the only place where true satisfaction can take place. Look around you. The room you are in, or the environment you reside in for now. All this exists at the same time as you. Isn't that proof enough? Who else should it be for? Dare to connect to it, through whatever means sound right. Dare to delve into it. Dare to lay your hands on it, smell it, taste it, observe it, hear it. Draw pictures of it, in your mind, on a canvas, in the dirt on the ground. You are a part of all of it. You are part of the world to everyone else!

The time it takes to get you there is meant for you to enjoy what you have so far. Things will change, and the present will be another shape than the current one. So enjoy it while it lasts, until the upgrade arrives. Remember how desperate the past version of you was for so many of these circumstances? Get back in touch with them to feel their bliss and satisfaction. They are always there to help you. All the versions of you, past, present and future. They all love you in their own way, and they all are connected to you and bring their talents and wisdom as soon as you let them speak. This can be in a dream, a song, a memory, a word you read somewhere that tugs at you. Maybe a smell, or a name. Follow the thread, make space for the unraveling, and be assured we are always protecting you from what could truly be harmful. Nothing you can't take.

Admittedly, our relationship to pain is a rather abstract one compared to your incarnated self - so apologies for sounding aloof - but it carries deep truths, and is never the whole story. Promised. It will pass. You are doing so well. We love you so much more than you can imagine. For now. Soon, you will have a better idea. If you ever need our help, just call us. However feels most authentic. A thought is enough. Then listen for our signs, and dare to believe them, just like we believe in you.

Pile 3

The Star, Knight of Wands

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We are sending you support on all dimensions. You won't see it coming. It won't look like it moments before the event (or several events...) and you will be close to giving up on hope. The rhythm of the recent days was just the "right" wrong mixture of stagnation and overwhelming, sudden changes, and you are exhausted. You have lost things that you held very, very close to your heart, and you thought they belonged to your destiny.

Memories, associations, dreams, fragments of what is lost haunt you, and you try so desperately to make it fit into the picture. Sure this mean it will come back...? Well. Yes and No. Yes on the spiritual, emotional, ethereal plane - what you felt with them is just an appetizer compared to what's to come. It's a manifestation upgraded tenfold. But no, it won't be them exactly. I am so sorry for your pain - but I am not sorry for the context in which this loss happened, because I see the purpose it serves clear as day. You have to wait and see for it to unfold before your very eyes (at least the first two of them), and many fears and worries birthed from past disappointments will pop up.

Don't read those as prophecies - they are asking to be purged! So the canvas is clear for your upcoming masterpiece. It will happen at just the right time. It's not going anywhere. It is yours, and it will wait until you are ready. Promised. Your pace is just the right pace. Listen to your emotions, as untamable they might seem at times. Learn to dance with them, instead of fighting against them, and be it just one intentional second for starters. Your limits are there for a reason, and no one wants you to hurt yourself unnecessarily in the process. You deserve the reassurance and patience you need, and we hold that frequency towards you all the time.

There are judgements from people from your past still attached to what you deem true, and to which you assigned great meaning and weight in how you should be treated by the Universe, and all the people in it. You don't dare to go near them - they bite back. Like a wounded animal. Let's see how gentle you can go with them. We assure you, they will calm down as soon as they know you mean no harm. As soon as they feel you have the same patience and reassurance avaible for them you deserve. Watch the alchemy unfold, and bask in your accomplishments. This is the stuff transformation is made of. We are so freaking proud of you!

Pile 4

The Hermit, The Moon

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What you bring to the world is something not many will understand. We see your dedication, and be assured, you are on the path that was agreed upon before you came here. The unfolding of your inner voice is a marvelous endeavor without any witnesses, just yours to experience. You have never been so lonely and so rich in your whole life. And this is just the beginning.

We protect you from the harm that could sway you, but not the harm that can teach you. There are people around you who are blind to the light within, even scared when it shows up. They don't know what it means, at least not from their limited perspective they deem the whole truth. We see you trying to extend a helping hand, but this is our influence when they don't take it. You need all this energy for the next phase of transformation.

Your discipline and strategy so far has served you well, and we command you for your endurance. This is a whole new game, and you play it quite well. But be warned - this won't last forever. You might dream about what soon will finally be, to exchange it for what is right now. You will miss this once it's over. Not because the future is so grim - on the contrary. But because the beauty of inner transformation is not a constant or easily accessible one, and you either pay close attention to decipher the music in it now, or you will only have the tinted glass of nostalgia as a way back to it. What seems like a chore now will soon be the holder of self love when you look back on it. This might mean nothing to you, or even come across as accusatory, or threatening even.

We never mean harm. We are light. We are love. Just like you. What we want to invite you to is daring to be grateful to be you right now. This version of you won't last forever, so why not love it? Just for what it is?

That is why we send you this tsunami of solitude. So you and you can finally get a room and connect. Look each other in the eyes, deeply. And see how you are just perfect for each other, and exactly what you need and want. After all, this is what you chose. This is exactly your style. And it suits you so, so well.

[sunkissedchld]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒗𝒆𝒓. 𝒐𝒏𝒆

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. the piles are from elft to right, so the clear crystal is pile one, the tiger's eye is pile two, and so on and so forth. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".

good luck to you, reader 🔮

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Signs:

heavily craving or avoiding physical touch, prominent first house or major first house transits right now, 9/99/999, heavy fire sign placements or embodying fire sign energy recently (or needing to), archangel gabriel, heavy sagittarius and/or cancer energy, mercury, uranus

Shufflemancy: 

“Confessions” by Usher

“Lost Without U” by Robin Thicke

“Insecure” by Amare La Negra

“ICONIC” by Aespa

“3RACHA” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Ace of Cups, Page of Wands (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx), Broom, Knight of Pentacles (Rx), Queen of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit, The Star, The Magician

Reading: 

It feels like there’s two camps of people for this pile: those with project ideas in mind for work or for their own personal lives and those interested in a potential crush or relationship. I’ll try to give examples for both and keep things semi-neutral, but sometimes things aren’t always that clean, so apply to your situation as needed. 

You may feel excited about this new project or relationship. You’re excited about potential prospects and have all these ideas running in your mind about how to go about things or how things will turn out, but this excitement is actually proving to be unhelpful or detrimental in a sense. Excitement with the right work ethic and listening ears can be a blessing, but without direction and input from others can cause you flail. It seems you could be rushing into things and trying to make pieces fit where they don’t so to speak. You could be thinking your plan is perfect and if everything just went the way you wanted, then all would be great, but this isn’t true. You need to get rid of this idea of you being this know-it-all who knows exactly what’s happening right now. 

For those of you who are used to always pursuing and making things happen; you need to step back and allow the universe to play out its wants. You could be the type of person who thinks they have to sacrifice everything in order to be happy or live comfortably, and the truth is that is not the case. You can have a balance between your work life and romantic or personal one; it’s okay to love working and coming up with all these ideas, but you also need to learn how to get comfortable with being with others and yourself outside of that professional, work-minded setting. 

For those of you who sit in the background and are a little more lazy, the opposite is true in that you need to step into taking control of your own life instead of leaving decisions and everything else up to the universe or other people around you. you could be too hedonistic and concerned about personal connections to the point where you put your livelihood and financial security at risk. In both instances, a need to balance is present. Also for both instances, there’s an emphasis on spending a little bit of time with yourself to determine in which way you need to expand and in which way you need to pull back from some of your habits. 

This pursuit versus lackadaisical attitude can also be applied to pursuing relationships. Some of you are constantly on the look for this person you’re interested in, or you’re always thinking of how you want to be in a relationship or how you can get into one when you need to step back and let it come to you when you need it. Others of you are acting as if you’re completely out of the game and are putting in no effort to create and maintain relationships when the reality is humans are interactive creatures, and you too need interaction! Again, a balance is needed for those this aligns with. 

Ultimately, you can have whatever it is you want: the lead on the project, the relationship, the good work ethic, the hedonistic lifestyle, but you also need to balance that with what it is you’re avoiding. The perfect recipe or spell concoction isn’t made with too much of any one ingredient. Everything has to work together in order for so-called perfection to be derived.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Signs:

lack of sight, “going in blind”, prominent twelfth house placements or transits, heavy pisces placements or energy, 1212, venus, 3/33/333, “i’m walking on sunshine”; “i’m trying to ascend”; “i’m crucified like my savior; saint-like behavior”

Shufflemancy: 

“in my head” by Ariana Grande

“Cry Baby” by Megan Thee Stallion (feat. DaBaby)

“Say My Name (Live)” by Beyoncè

“Emotional Bruises” by Madison Beer

“Streets Is Callin’” by B2K

Cards:

Page of Wands (Rx), Page of Pentacles, The Chariot, Ace of Swords, Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch, Three of Cups, Three of Pentacles, Good Luck Charm

Reading: 

Those choosing pile two might be in an intermittent state currently. Previously, you could’ve felt like you were on top of the world with everything set in stone, but now you’ve lost your footing, and you can’t necessarily figure out why. You might’ve started a project or new endeavor, and now you’re running into unexpected troubles which are making you want to give up. 

You might be someone who is obsessive about the things they want; you need everything to turn out exactly how you pictured it - to the point of refusing to be happy with anything less or slightly different even if the bulk of what you want is given to you. When you do encounter differences (or what you’d consider roadblocks), you have a habit of abandoning things or believing you must’ve messed up in some way – even when that’s not the case! You get so focused on “fixing” things that you forget to be appreciative of what you do accomplish. 

It seems you recognize you’re on some sort of journey, and you’re excited to do so much; you have so many ideas you want to pursue that sometimes you confuse yourself about what to do. In some ways, an abundance of choices is confusing you. You could inherently know that you likely can’t pursue everything (or that you shouldn’t), but your curiosity is getting the best of you. For some of you, I feel like some of these illusionary good choices have already come forward, and you’ve figured out the hard way that not every choice available to you is a good one. 

Those of pile two are being called to do a few things. One is to be patient and listen to yourself. Again, you can have all these ideas about what you want to do, but you need to figure out a way to “be still” and concentrate your energy on what’s best for you. You don’t have to be making moves or plans all the time; I know being told to meditate can feel frustrating, but the truth is that it’s hard to make good decisions without fully thinking them through. This act of listening to your inner self does not have to be done completely alone though (although parts of it should be). Don’t be afraid to ask friends, your guides, or other people around you for advice or help. Talk through your ideas, work with others to achieve them – you might see more success creating a community as opposed to acting totally alone. 

Overall pile two, things will work out for you depending on how you act and whether or not you listen. If you keep pursuing things faster than you’re ready to, then you can expect rude awakenings about needing to slow down and think before acting. If you take the time to get in tune with yourself and determine what it is you truly should be going after, then you can expect better outcomes and results.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Signs:

9/99/999, feeling sick recently, not trusting yourself, “don’t trust yourself”, uranus prominence, the color red, lack of fight, dogma, fire dominance or being drawn to fire, 3/33/333, swords, prominent air energy or dominance, 6/66

Shufflemancy: 

“Right Here” by Alex Aiono

“Princess Going Digital” by Amaarae

“King’s Dead” by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Jay Rock, Future, & James Blake)

“Muwop” by Latto (feat. Gucci Mane)

“Die A Little Bit” by Tinashe (feat. Ms Banks)

Cards:

Six of Swords, Six of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, Five of Swords, The World, Nine of Wands, Temperance, The Tower, Ten of Cups (Rx), Ace of Swords

Reading: 

I think this pile is mainly for those thinking about or experiencing a romantic situation – not everyone will be, so don’t be alarmed because the overall message will be able to be applied regardless of whether romance is in your life right now or not. Those who chose this pile may be the type to close themselves off from others; in a lot of ways you’re hiding your light and existence from people who would appreciate and celebrate you. You could be someone who has social anxiety or worries often about the way people perceive you; you might find it hard to make friends or to establish relationships (romantic, platonic, maybe even familial) where you feel comfortable revealing your authentic self to others. 

You’re being called to leave this unsure part of yourself behind. You could be insecure when it comes to interacting with others – maybe you have a stutter or there’s some other factor that impacts your speech or how comfortable you feel when talking to people. For some of you, you may not understand what makes you special or what would draw people to you as a person, but Six of Wands in the deck I have says, “you’re kind of a big deal, so start acting like it!”. Even if you can’t see your own beauty, draw, or light other people can and want to connect with you because of it and because of who you portray yourself to be. 

Going back to relationships and trying to make connections with others, you may be someone who always thinks the worst of people. You may often think, “no one will like me”; “I won’t be able to make friends here”; “I’m not interesting enough”; “all my relationships go to shit in some way, so why try”, and the advice to you is “you can’t be right all of the time”. The worst possible outcome is not the only outcome. There’s almost a guarantee that if you get out of your comfort zone and be intentional in establishing relationships with people, then you may find the outcomes you fear so much won’t happen. “You have to give people the chance to show you they’re not like the people who have been in your life previously”. 

There’s an emphasis on the fact that you’re still standing even though you may have experienced times when you didn’t think you would keep going. The only/main thing holding you back right now is not your guides or the universe or the people around you or some outside evil force that you think only has it out for you – you are imposing limitations on yourself because of your fear of being hurt again. Although you’re being urged to try and pursue relationships out of your own volition; it’s important to note that some people are coming forward regardless. You must get rid of this idea that you’re unlikeable or unlovable, and you’ll likely have a Tower moment regarding your idea of and the way you act in relationships soon.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Signs:

the color purple, feeling restless or tired, sun dominance or needing to go out in the sun, prominent capricorn, libra, and/or gemini placements, red orange/blood orange, second house placements or transits, “trust yourself”, artemis, poseidon, water dominance or working with water, hades

Shufflemancy: 

“libidO” by OnlyOneOf

“Focus” by H.E.R

“Victory” by Yolanda Adams 

“UGOMDN” by chlothegod

“Star Lost” by Stray Kids

Cards:

Page of Pentacles (Rx), Seven of Cups, The Patient Witch (Rx), Queen of Swords, Page of Cups, Five of Wands, Ten of Wands (Rx), The Lovers (Rx), Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups. Judgment

Reading: 

The message for those of you who chose pile four is going to be a little harsh – just as a disclaimer. Your guides may be at their wits end in trying to tell you nicely or in trying to contact you in general, so this could be a message you’ve been ignoring or not understanding for a while. This could be a lesson you keep running into; I heard “you’re tired? We’re tired too”, so take that as it resonates. This pile also feels adjacent to pile two because some of the same cards came out, but I think this pile is for those of you who have little time to make your decision to change your ways because you’ve already been warned multiple times. 

At your core, you embody the Queen of Swords; you may be quick-witted, steadfast in your knowledge of who you are and what you want, outspoken, and independent to a fault, but currently these attributes are manifesting in the most negative ways. Currently, you could be acting childish and “rotten”; I’m reminded of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You’re so stuck in this idea of how you want things to play out and what you want that you’ve backed yourself into a situation where you come off as immature and lazy if things don’t go your way. What seems to be coming through is “oh, you’re stubborn? We can be stubborn too”. 

Your guides are wanting you to loosen up and be open to experiencing what’s thrown to and/or given to you. You have the ultimate control over your life, but I’m seeing some of you specifically asked for your guides’ help and aid, so if you want it, then you have to listen to their suggestions also. Your work with them is not a one-way affair, so stop treating it as such. They are not magic genies who are to drop everything and give you everything you want at your beck and call. I heard “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” which could be related to your need to control things. 

The advice of this reading is really to be mindful of how you're treating your guides and your intentions in your journey with them. For one, you’re shouldering too much responsibility to the point where you’re burning yourself out. It is not possible to go through life all by yourself with no help or input from anyone else. It’s also not possible to have a relationship with your guides and never listen to them or treat them like they’re your servants. If you keep running into obstacles and misfortunes going on your own, then maybe try their way for a while and see how it works for you. 

Overall pile four, your guides want to work with you. They want to provide you with abundance and see you prosper and above all happy, but if you refuse to listen, then you will keep stumbling.

[pinkslipxox]

i couldn't find what you were and were not ok to right for so if your uncomfy with this then forget it.

are you willing to write about $elf-h@rm. if you are then could you right about reader relapsing without telling billie cause shes scared then one night when cuddling billie accidently sees or hurts reader arm. but is really soft about it.

bye have a good day/night!💖

hey my love! Yes of course. No problem! 🥰

If anyone is going through this, please know that you have my heart and that you always have a friend in me, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out xx

**TW: mentions of self-harm!**

———————————-———————————————

The soft glow of string lights illuminated the cozy room, casting a warm glow over the small space that Y/N and Billie shared. The faint sound of music played in the background, something soothing that Billie had chosen to help them unwind after a long day. Y/N curled up comfortably under a blanket, her head resting on Billie’s shoulder as they watched a movie, their fingers intertwined.

Billie chuckled softly, glancing down at Y/N with fondness. “You look so comfy, mama,” she said, brushing her fingers through Y/N’s hair. “You know I love these quiet nights with you.”

Y/N smiled shyly, appreciating the love and warmth radiating from her girlfriend. Everything felt perfect, yet there was an uncomfortable feeling knotting her stomach. Despite the calm atmosphere, Y/N had been struggling internally. She had relapsed into self-harm a few weeks ago, a secret she hadn’t found the courage to share with Billie. Fear muddled her thoughts — fear of disappointing Billie, fear that she wouldn’t understand, and fear of what that could mean for their relationship.

But in this moment, she was distracted by the warmth of Billie’s embrace. It almost made her forget about everything she was dealing with. Almost.

As the movie played on, Billie shifted slightly, cuddling closer to Y/N. She moved her arm, unknowingly brushing against Y/N’s sleeve. A sudden shock ran through Y/N as Billie’s touch came into contact with the many small marks she had tried so hard to hide. In an instant, panic flared up within her. She sat up quickly, pulling away slightly, her heart racing.

“Y/N? Did I hurt you?” Billie’s voice was filled with concern as she pulled back, searching Y/N’s face for an answer.

Y/N’s eyes widened as her mind raced. “No! No, I’m fine!” she stammered, quickly covering her arm with the blanket, hoping to hide the evidence of her struggle.

Billie’s brow furrowed, not buying the reassurance. “You don’t look fine. I just—” She paused, sitting up straighter, her intuition kicking in. “Did I touch something? Did I hurt you?”

Y/N felt helpless as Billie continued to scrutinize her face. She couldn’t bring herself to share the truth, terrified of what it would mean.

“I just… I’m really sensitive tonight,” she admitted quietly, trying to dismiss the situation.

Billie’s expression softened, concern replacing concern. “Okay, but you know you can tell me anything, right? I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me.”

Y/N’s heart sank, knowing deep down that she wanted to tell Billie everything. But the overwhelming feelings of shame and fear loomed over her. “I just don’t want to worry you,” she whispered, avoiding Billie’s gaze.

Billie took a deep breath, her voice gentle yet firm. “Y/N, listen. You’re my girlfriend, and I care about you more than anything. I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re going through.”

Seeing the sincerity in Billie’s eyes made Y/N’s heart ache. It felt like they were on the edge of a cliff; she could either take a leap of faith and share her secret, or remain paralyzed by silence. She took a shaky breath, her thoughts racing.

“Billie, please… just hold me for a second,” Y/N finally said, her voice barely above a whisper, filled with vulnerability.

Without hesitation, Billie closed the gap, wrapping her arms around Y/N tightly. She could feel the tension in Y/N’s body, and it made her heart ache. “I’m here,” she murmured softly, placing a gentle kiss on Y/N’s forehead. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”

Y/N melted into Billie’s embrace, finally feeling safe enough to let the dam break. “I’m scared, babe,” she confessed, her voice trembling against Billie’s shoulder. “I’ve been struggling… and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.”

Billie remained quiet, holding Y/N with unwavering support, allowing her the space to gather her thoughts. “It’s okay to be scared,” she finally said softly. “You’re not alone in this. I love you, no matter what.”

Y/N felt the weight of those words hanging in the air, and it gave her the strength she needed to go on. “I… I relapsed,” she admitted, her voice shaky. “I thought I could handle it, but…”

“But you’re human, Y/N,” Billie interrupted gently. “You’re allowed to have bad days. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you real.”

Y/N felt tears brimming in her eyes, and she let them fall freely. “I just didn’t want to disappoint you…”

Billie pulled back slightly, looking Y/N in the eyes. “You could never disappoint me. You’re my whole world. Please trust that I want to support you through whatever you’re facing.”

Y/N nodded, feeling the warmth of Billie’s words sink in. “I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. Just promise me that we can face this together, okay? We’ll figure it out, one step at a time.” Billie squeezed Y/N’s hand, her grip firm and reassuring.

“Okay,” Y/N whispered, her heart a little lighter. “Thank you for understanding. I love you so much, Billie.”

“I love you, Y/N. And I’d do anything for you. Remember, you’re safe with me. Always,” Billie replied, pressing another soft kiss to Y/N’s forehead, sealing the promise between them.

In that moment, surrounded by love and compassion, Y/N felt a sense of hope blossom within her. She knew the road ahead wouldn’t always be easy, but with Billie by her side, she felt ready to navigate the challenges together. The warmth of their connection reminded her that she didn’t have to hide anymore, and, step by step, they would create the safe space she had longed for.

[yuikira]

𓈒࣪ The "you" shaped spot ₊✧

warnings: pure fluff, one implication of having sex, bits of crying, hurt/comfort, ooc kinich, very self indulgent, i apologize for mistakes.

GOD THE ANGUISH I FEEL SINCE THERE HAVE BEEN NO GOOD KINICH FICS RECENTLY

m so sorry mualani i love you but i hate you coz you're so shipped w kinich it makes me cry in anguish burn in despair and writhe in pain..coz hes mine. not yours. never yours (guys am i mentally ill)

"y/n?"

well, this was strange. if he still remembers how to read the time correctly, it's 3:30 pm and you should be at home today. yet he couldn't hear a single sound from the shared household, implying you were, infact, not at home. huh? that was wholly strange. you both had no urgent tasks for today, so where were you gone? your date was in 1½ hrs time, so he didn't have a tinge of worry about it. he knew you'd return by that time, even if you were gone somewhere. but where did you go anyway? to the balcony? xilonen's workshop? ororon's fields? mavuika's chambers? ifa's vet?

it was almost 5:30 by the time his patience finally ran out. you were nowhere to be seen, noone knew your whereabouts, your departure time was unconfirmed, and you didn't even tell him about it. he tried to distract away the thoughts that eerily haunted his mind, 'what if she's in danger? kidnapped? or perhaps, dead?'

he'd get nothing out of overthinking. finally, it all clicked to him where you could perhaps be found.

shit, and was his intuition right. he could hear the sounds of violent sobs drifting off in the sea breeze, some sniffles and pieces of incoherent speech here and there. they were yours.

"y/n? y/n!"

he gently held your shoulders and tried to pry off your palms from your face. is it too late? at last as he finally managed to do so, he saw your tinged red eyes, indicating you've been crying for a lot of time.

"what happened to you? babe? are you okay? please tell me- what happened to you? please, please please-"

"im fine, ichi, its alright"

"you dont look alright at all. what happened to you? who did this to you? this sadness?"

"oh it's just..um..this is embarassing.."

"no tell me, please baby, tell me. if you don't tell me and start crying again, i might just start crying too. please tell me"

"um.. it's...basically, these past few days I've felt like... you're.. avoiding me. like...everytime i try to approach you, you just- you just..shut me down. push me away. it maybe because I'm not living upto your expectations, but these past few days I've been feeling like you spend time with mualani more than me. it hurts so bad when my inner thoughts whisper to me, haunting me by saying stuff like you're giving the same lovesick smile to her as you do to me, and falling for her and- mfhm?!"

oh by gods, the way kinich just tenderly held you yet kissed constrastingly different, almost making you feel dizzy and lightheaded. you knew you weren't in the right state of mind after crying and struggling with your thoughts for so long, and his intoxicating kiss didn't help the matter at all.

at last when he finally pulls his lips away from yours, a tinge of bemused smile rests on his slightly chapped lips. him? in love with mualani? he'd rather give away his body to ajaw and keep himself locked in a small piece of memory inside your heart, so that as long as your heart beats, you both never get seperated. that was the best deal for him.

"look, im sorry I didn't tell you earlier and I'm sorry if I don't live upto your expectations and or are falling for mualani, its completely alright and-"

"Are you insane?"

"huh?"

"You are the words etched into my heart. You are the blood in my veins. You are the god I was born to worship. Who am I to commit such blasphemy?"

"i-ichi-?"

"You are the knowledge I seek. The love I pray for. The reason of my existence. And you still think I'd leave you?"

"wait no ichi i-"

"The symphony of my beating heart belongs to you. Only you. For long as I'm alive, its bound to beat for you. I love you, y/n. I love you so much."

Teardrops began to fall from your eyes again as he finished speaking. He'd never, ever been good with words, reflecting his love and care with his actions instead. Although he's trying to be more and more vocal for you, you'd never expected this from him.

That was the moment you realized, his heart was 'you' shaped, with every single bit of his sanity dedicated to you.

"And no, I.. I'm so sorry if i made you feel as if I'm avoiding you. I'm infact not. It's just the fact that.. I'd been trying to plan a surprise for you for our 4th anniversary, but..looks like I wasn't so slick with it. I'm sorry"

"No, no, it's fine, it's fine. I misunderstood, no need to apologise" you shook your head while holding one of his hands, the other wiping your tears off as he gently places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"It's partially my fault, for making you feel this way. Let's go home, yeah? I'll try to make it up to you. Brownies and making love later?"

You smiled. "I love you so much, it's hard to put into words like you did"

"I love you more. You're forever my girl"