#it helps me mentally. i thjnk
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canned-iced-coffee · 24 days ago
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any other autistics daydream about their special interests during particularly longer work shifts to get through the day or am i insane
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Yeah idk if i can ever live comfortably
It seems my audhd alwas fucks up whatever nice thjngs i have
Im not even diagnosed for ejther, but jm sure i have both.
I cant handle functioning corectly and i hate it so so much.
Im supposed to be learning to drive, but i dont even know if i can handle it...
I kmow ill be constanly distracted by everything on the road, and very overstimulated. I can barely deal with being in a car normally.
And what makes it worse? My lower spine (tailbone) issues. Last year near the end of may i was diagnosed with coccygodynia and boy does it suck ass.
Its basically chronic tailbone pain and i fucking hate it with all my being, i cant sit for long perios of time without beinb in pain, jncluding cars school church basically anywhwre. Plus i already ahve bad posture so my spine is fucked up as well sk it hurts to exist baskcally
Anywho all my friends and peers either can or are learning to driive, and it makes me feel worse.. i think ill just be broke amd take the bus
Plud jobs, i dont knkw what to do... i should be thinkjng of one already but idk
Like what fits for me? What can i dk comfortably without having the constant urge to just go home and cry??
Even worse idk what i want to do wkth my life. People are always like "oh wdy wanna be?" How the fuck should i kmow?? I wanna be free of mental illness thsts what
Idk what i want or how to get it, eveerything kinda sucks..
All of those reasons, all of everything... i thjnk thats one of th main reasons i triesd to kill myself last year. Everythig was too overwhelming. It still is, way worse at that, but at least j have supporting friends to help me... and at least im not suicidal anymkre
But I mean also on thr bright side, completely unrelated, but i didnt relapse today. Thats good right?
Even then, the audhd screws with my self harming too...
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kindlyre · 7 months ago
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AND!!!!
this conversation looks fucking hillarious w/o the readmores 😭😭 i just imagine us like, phatomiming or smth 😭
WE LOVE CYCLICAL ABUSE NARRATIVES!!!!! me when the cycle Gets You Gets You Gets You Gets Y
AROACE!! WE LOVE 2 SEE IT!!! the govt straight up wanta disabled people to just fucking die i swear to god. even if you get benefits theyre a pittance in this economy. i have to steal my groceries bc its either that or i cant afford everything. tho im not 100% out of my wheelchair, but I can walk significantly more and i could downgrade my knee braces from rigid ones to fabric ones! im gonna get a rollator soon to help w mobility so fingers crossed that helps! 🤞🏻 tho i get ur pain, my back pain was the most debilitating part pre-...miracle???
also i do have someone, i am engaged!! mr. i-forgot-he-feels-remorse is my fiancé! hes on tumblr too lmao he just cant think of a url for a dangan blog 😩 hes so sweet my ass did NOT settle not even a little! tho after i move im gonna look into other assistance programs tbh, even if i dont wanna go thru the yearslong hassle of getting disability specifically i can always see if theres other stuff i can qualify for!
i also like to date the soulbonds imma be so fr 😭 one of them just decided i had an ultimate ability and im like. aight 🧍‍♂️
ALSO HMMMM THATS AN INTERESTING TAKE ON JUNKO!!! i def dont think that angle fully *rules out* aspd moreso... her extreme boredom and the trauma she put herself thru caused her to develop it, but then it made the boredom worse and oops now the world is on fire! teehee!
either way the narrative is absolutely that the world completely failed her and had she been nurtured correctly this would not have happened-- tho i do wanna say its possible to care about someone and yet disregard their autonomy and feelings and rights (abusive parents do it all the time!)
tbh i really only trust myself w specifically aspd junko (or aspd kamakura which... idk i havent thought abt other than "maybe?") bc if i saw anyone ELSE do it id think "oh. oh no. theyre saying that bc shes the Evil One" bc i doooont trust ppl atp with all the shit ive seen in fandom
but my personal view on it is that most people with aspd will be normal people with a mental illness, and some of them will be dangerous, abusive people. thats life! i see this tip with writing gay villians, and i thjnk it applies here: its totally fine to write an antagonist with aspd! ...so long as theyre not the *only* person w aspd in the story. if theres just one pwaspd in the story, the "burden of representation" so to say is placed on them, but if there are multiple, that burden is not only shared, but itll be placed on the character thats closest to the protagonist, ESPECIALLY if it just straight up *is* the protagonist
i think both our hcs are valid tho!!! i just sharin my thoughts! and after all, no reason why she cant have both- i do!
THO ON GOD junko getting meds fixing her is so funny 😭😭 get this bitch medicated and hobbified!!! junko being the ultimate analyst as ryoko is so sad tbh bc like, shes extremely smart but because shes pretty, those smarts were disregarded. she ended the world but she was a kid once too and she was failed!!!
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@kindlyre
Okay I'm VERY curious as to what mental illness you're writing Rantaro to have because it seems to be one of those stigmatized ones and I'm v curious???
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pacifymebby · 2 years ago
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Posting here cause its the only place i can really like, u dont gotta read, tw mental health
I relapsed recently its pretty bad, im not doing good at all but its really making me thjnk about what a destructive and lowkey selfish/manipulative disorder anorexia is.
Cause this whole time im starving and doing myself damage and half my motivation is this little voice in my head like "i just want B to be worried about me i want my friends to be worried about me, i want them to talk about me with one another and be concerned about me" like i know we always say that we dont starve ourselves for attention, that its our mental illness that makes us like this but at the same time we do starve ourselves for it kinda. Like i do, i want someone to notice that im dojng bad without me having to tell them that im doing bad, i want B to want to take care of me and stuff idk.
I know its terrible and i know that it makes me a bad person for having those thoughts but i cant help it and i dont think ill ever really be able to recover properly and get rid of them
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blueprint-han · 4 years ago
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— 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙏𝙎 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙁𝙀𝙀𝙇 𝘿𝙊𝙒𝙉.
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𝗚𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗣: STRAY KIDS.
𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧: 2.8 K.
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: fluff, slightest amount of angst. brief mentions of sadness and crying, but mostly comfort. these are only my opinions, please don’t take this to be factual information. everything written is only fiction. please let me know if i’ve missed a warning! <3
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♡‧₊˚ 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉 —
the moment he heard your sobs from the other side of the phone, suffice to say he'd immediately ask jisung and changbin to wrap up in the studio and grab you your favorite croissant from the cafe before rushing home. and of course, the moment you open the door he stays back for roughly two seconds to enter and shut the door before pulling you into his arms and letting you bury your head into his chest.
i think chan’s the kind of person to show his support through words of affirmation and, i cannot stress this enough, physical touch !!! he will absolutely coddle you until you're totally tired of him (which you will never will be so...). he'll constantly whisper sweet, gentle words of affirmation into your ear while you're gently sobbing into his shirt — chan doesn't mind the feeling of the fabric clinging to his skin as long as he knows you're feeling better than before.
and of course, the man's huge on silent, supportive gestures (coughs, what I'm trying to say is that... he'd be the best boyfie ever ♡). will immediately get you your favorite emotional support when chan isn't there stuffie, order your favorite food while you sadly munch on the croissant he was generous to bring home and offer to set you a warm bath to put your mind at ease. basically wrap you into a burrito along with him and not let you go whatsoever. will let you rant if you'd like to speak about your problems, but if you'd rather need a distraction, he'd gladly simply hold you close for comfort and hum a song whilst softly running his fingers through your hair. he will tuck you to bed if you happen to fall asleep in his arms, because he wouldn't want you to get a neck cramp. it already hurts him enough to see his y/n in pain. 🥺 + bonus, i feel like he'd be all the willing to give you a massage if it helps release the tension because like he said he's the best boyfie ever.
i also feel like Chan's more of an empathetic person — he'd rather let you speak and provide comfort, letting you cool down so that you can work up a solution later, since he understands that practical solutions are hard to think of when you're in a bad state of mind.
“darling, it's all gonna be alright. i’m here for you.”
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙇𝙀𝙀 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 —
it's obvious for the cat man I think, the moment you came over to his place with a bit of a sad face and told him how bad your day went, he'll immediately bring one of his cats and let them curl up to you even though he's a bit jealous that they're growing a liking for you faster than ever. i think minho would be more careful of what he says, solely because he tends to be more jokey and open in his conversation, and he doesn't accidentally wanna hurt you in any way, even though he knows you wouldn't really think that way.
will stay silent for the most part if you're crying, muttering softly “it's okay” and “you’re safe now” from time to time, just to assure you that he's totally listening and is ready to help you. of course you can't help but crack into a smile and let your worries fade away when sooni (or doongie or dori) purrs in your lap and snuggles against you while you pet it's head and minho pouts at that all cutely — immediately getting flustered when you point it out and peck his lips.
will blush when you thank him for being there and get even the slightest bit of sappy, and will either mask it under his smirk by saying something snarky or will kiss you to not let you notice it. and of course, being the loving, admirable boyfriend he is, he will totally buy bulgogi without waiting for an answer from you to lighten your mood because let's be clear, you're both huge foodies — perfect for each other.
“h-hey! this isn't fair, you're stealing both my cat and my heart.” :(
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙎𝙀𝙊 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂𝘽𝙄𝙉 —
he gives me the “will throw a protective arm around your shoulder and peck your forehead from time to time” vibes. he'd actually be kinda sad and wish he could do something to help you, which is why he doesn't let go of his iron grip on you until he's certain you're feeling better and then cup your cheeks and nuzzle your noses together — an action he knows makes your heart flutter.
and of course, it works like a charm. you can't help the way your eyes crinkle and the smile that takes over your face when he does that, and especially not when he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. also, if it's not obvious — I think changbin is huge on intimacy. there's no way he won't be touching you in some way or at least staying close to you to make sure that you're doing fine. I like to think he's quite the opposite of how outgoing and loud he is in public — he'd be very gentle as though he's handling delicate flowers, voice so low that only you can hear anything he says.
will wrap his arms around you to make sure you feel super safe and comfortable and let you listen to his heartbeat, all whilst rubbing soft circles into your skin with his thumb. he's another one on the "empathetic" category just like chan — he'd make sure you're feeling totally fine before bringing it back up and trying to work a solution with you, even if it means consoling you a whole day — he just wants you to feel okay.
“bubs don't cry :( i will personally fight every single person who dared to make my y/n sad >:(” (of course he'd say that just to make you laugh, and of course, it works.)
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙃𝙒𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝙔𝙐𝙉𝙅𝙄𝙉 —
oh this guy!! this motherfucking gentlest sweetest kindest super romantic fellow ever >:( when he sees you sad, oh, he won't even wait to ask you what's wrong, he'll immediately lift you into his arms (extra points if it's piggyback riding) and carry you all the way to your favorite floral cafe or a secluded area of an open park so that you can feel free and calm down from that stuffy office you work in. he'll shiver a bit when you nuzzle into his neck from behind and place a soft kiss that leaves his heart melting, but will keep himself composed because he doesn't wanna get caught flustered he wants to make sure you're doing fine.
also since he's idk the most gentle person (🙄) ever he'd also get you your favorite drink to sip and once you're done with that, he'll silently pull you to the nearest bench and let you lie on his lap facing towards him and trace the curves of your face gently with his fingers. honestly most of the silence with him will never feel awkward because he always seems to be conveying so much with just his eyes and the way he looks at you, his voice is also very gentle and sweet when he speaks, and you'd almost fall asleep hearing to him talk if it wasn't for the ticklish feeling of his fingers tracing softly over your face and his other hand gently rubbing your forehead.
i feel like hyunjin’s the more confident kind — he'd openly try to suggest some ways to solve any issues you have or to combat any emotions, but he will say that keeping in mind of your mental state. he's more of a “practical approach” kinda guy, but you don't mind it since his opinions 99% of the time are rational and well thought out, and the rare occasion where you don't seem to agree, he'll just not push at all (again ugh pls why you gotta be so sweet 🙄) and will wait for you to come up to him if you need help.
“thanks for bringing me here. I really needed it.” “dont thank me baby, as long as you're happy.”
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙃𝘼𝙉 𝙅𝙄𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂 —
han jisung will immediately go "squirrel hug!!!!" and then drag your ass to your favorite ramen place whether you like it or not because he's dated you long enough to know that distractions work best for you when you're feeling down. he'll also make sure to go extra squirrel mode since you know how adorable you find it when he fills his cheeks with food and eats in that signature jisung™ way. he also asks you to walk with him while eating, so it's nice to feel some fresh breeze blow away your worried and let you just .. focus on how much in love you are with the person standing beside you right now.
once he's done with his ramen he'll be the one clinging onto you, pouting and whining about how he wishes you'd smile for him. of course, he makes sure he doesn't go too overboard, but you can't really be mad or annoyed at him when he's that cute, really. i thjnk he'd be the kind to silently thread his fingers with yours and do that thing where you run your thumb along the back of the other person's hand for reassurance. as cheesy and loud as jisung can be at times, he tries to treat you as gently as you can, and would rather not bring up the topic at all until you bring it up yourself, so that he knows you're fine with talking about it.
will also make sure to peck your lips at least 19938383737 times when you're sad, and the rare occasion where he isn't, he'll probably be kissing your cheeks. he just really loves how your face just lights up when he cups your cheeks and squeezes them gently and,,,,, oh man you have his heart fluttering so hard he can't help but kiss you all over :(
“babyyyyy please don't be sad :(((( if you're sad then I'm gonna be sad too :(((”
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙇𝙀𝙀 𝙁𝙀𝙇𝙄𝙓 —
what do you expect he's the sunshine boy... if he even dares to hear the words “i’m not feeling nice today” or “i’ve had a bad day” he will immediately rush to your place and leave behind whatever he's been doing just to make sure you're safe and alright. Due to that, you tend to not reveal anythjng until after he's home, solely because you really don't want him to be stressed and worried when he's working.
oh he's such a caring angel :( he'll get you some of those small flowers on his way home and gently tuck them behind your ear before asking you what's wrong and placing another one in your hand. he'd have the "helping y/n when they're down" kit handy — blanket, food, cuddly boyfriend, tissues, flowers, and of course, lots and LOTS of affection. I think he's very similar to chan in the fact that he'd prefer words of affirmation and physical touch to convey his emotional support to you. will totally intertwined your fingers together and wrap another hand around your shoulders and kiss the back of your hand gently from time to time to lighten your mood, and how could you possibly stay gloomy when the sunshine himself is beside you?
He'd also hum a tune much like chan and let you listen to his heartbeat, and the soft vibrations from him are relaxing. eventually you end up with him snuggled into you and your fingers running through his hair, but you wouldn't have it any other way. he'd silently protest against how it was supposed to be him who’d do this, but he silently wishes for you to continue — plus, listening to the soft sounds he lets out when he melts into you completely are a treat in their own.
“i was supposed to be the one helping you out :( ....... please don't stop though.”
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙆𝙄𝙈 𝙎𝙀𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙈𝙄𝙉 —
i feel like seungmin is more of a silent appreciator. he realizes that sometimes you need space before you can come to terms with and move on from whatever got you in a bad mood, so he'd silently get you some warm tea and a soft blanket, just to make you feel comfortable. he'd silently massage your shoulders and hold your hand close to his chest, occasionally pressing a kiss to your fingertips. only when he's 100% sure that you wanna talk about what's bothering you, he'll ask you about it and let you rant to him.
i also feel like seung is such a good listener, and great at comfort. besides being the evil puppy that he is; i feel like he's similar to changbin in the way that he'd totally be the opposite to his fun and playful nature when you're alone, though the times where he is playful are surely appreciated. he also handles you like a fragile flower, his touch so gentle that you could almost cry (if you weren't doing that already). he would also use that special™ voice that only you're allowed to hear — that voice which expresses his concern, his worry and his love for you all at once. it's as though a part of him is trying to hold back from simply coddling you and wishing that the universe would go a bit easier on you, but like i said, seungmin realizes the value of personal space, so he doesn't prod too much.
that being said, if you act clingy, he will totally let you nuzzle into his neck and keep you as warm and safe as possible. seungmin isn't usually big on skinship, so the few moments when he is are usually filled with sweet loving touches. this little shit would sneakily place his hand under your shirt to trace patterns into your waist and back because he knows how much you love it, and personally loves to see you forget about what's bothering you, even for a brief moment and grow shy at his advances. and then of course, he'd offer to make you a nice, home cooked meal — your favorite and then if you're feeling too down, he'd even feed it to you. i will stop before i die from imagining this scenario
"shh, it's all right darling, i'll tell the boys i won't be going back to the dorm today."
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♡‧₊˚ 𝙔𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝙅𝙀𝙊𝙉𝙂𝙄𝙉 —
poor boy, he'd panic a bit but not so much that he wouldn't know what to do. he'd be a little shocked when he sees you crying, but then he'd silently scoot closer and sling an arm over your shoulder, unsure of what exactly to do in that state. he'd precede everything he does with a "may i?" and it honestly warms your heart when he leans against your shoulder and pats your head, trying to get you to calm down. i feel like he'd be pretty wordless with his comfort, trying to figure out what he'd ask you and what exactly to say while he shows his support through gestures.
will probably pull out a video game and go — "you wanna play? 🥺 it's really fun. come onnnnnn :(" and of course how can you really deny when he's pouting at you like that? plus, the game does end up relieving your anxiety and makes you feel a lot more free than before (plus jeongin purposefully letting you win even though you've never played before just to see that beaming smile on your face is a sure short way to get you to loosen up and smile). i think he'd be a little careful with physical touch since even though he knows you well, he wouldn't wanna make you feel like he's invading your private space, so he stays silent until he's sure you're doing better.
he'd also let you rant to him, and once you're done, he'd gently, shyly, peck your cheeks and then your lips, thanking you for telling him about your feelings. i feel like jeongin switches between the practical and the empathetic kind of person, but nevertheless, you're always happy after spending some time with him, because he's always so cautious and gentle with you, like you're his whole world and wouldn't wanna hurt you no matter what. and also when he looks at you with that signature jeongin smile and eyes, who's not bound to melt?
"thank you for telling me, baby. i'm really glad to see you smiling right now, you have such a pretty smile."
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♡‧₊˚ ◡̎ ♡̷  find my masterlist here!
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network tags: @inkidz @skzwritersclub @kpopscape @lovesick-net @kdiarynet @kwritersworld​ @destinyverse​ @prism-nw​ @foreverkpop-net​
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