#it helps him cope with The Horrors Tm

[espectres]

shou were did you get your talent or liking for art?

❝ Huh... ❞ His gaze abandons the papers in hand, the tip of his pencil tap against his forehead idly, memories pile to the front of his mind and he scavenges in hopes of an answer. ❝ I don't know, ❞ A nonchalant shrug of honesty. ❝ but some of the first things I tried to draw were some small spirits and ghosts, they would linger around old trees in the parks ... and some places around the markets ... ❞

❝ Kaa-chan is not an esper, obviously she couldn't see these things like me and Pops whenever we went out together, so I tried to show her whatever I saw, I guess. ❞ He huffs a laugh, feeling all ridiculous and hot in the head all of a sudden. The mental image of a smaller version of himself eagerly showing his mother the shapes and colors she could never see- merciless embarrassment makes blood rush to his ears and cheeks. ❝ I didn't like the way she was left out, y'know? ❞

❝ Then I just kept drawing ever since, I found it fun, and relaxing too. I haven't taken lessons or anything if you were wondering, it's just a hobby. ❞

[precious-little-scoundrel]

Right, and we see how she’s both embarrassed and they also are sensitive to that, as much as they can be while still helping and having to drag some info out of her. ☺️

no because i know it’s sad and a little angsty but i’m also here for some of the fluff and sweetness. like how you said this: so I really like the fact that it’s still a very concern, a means for others to take care of her

but also just the general fluff of… her being a sweet young girl and being embarrassed but that’s almost endearing to the people who care about her. like none of the bloody trinity would give a second thought about it, it’s just her 😭

Murph cries out for his mom in the middle of the night, Lu gets her periods still, Jack sleepwalks, Gale has an affair, Bucky acts like he’s the father of a Nazis made baby and Benny copes with the Horrors TM by reciting poetry and recipes until everyone wants to strangle him.

They’re a genuine nuthouse in Love Shack #9 and it’s ok, in its own way😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[isas-oc-asylum]

Break, failure, ghost, and midnight for Bella for the ask game because I've been struck by sudden brainrot

OH FUN

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Easy. She's experienced this to a degree before, when her adoptive mother was murdered by Envy. The easiest way to break Bella or force her to bend her knee to you is to threaten her loved ones while being too powerful for her to rip to shreds. Harm or kill her family, she's mentally done for.

And it's ugly. Back when severe turmoil was a consistent thing for her, she would cut in horrific quantities all over her body. At its worst, she'd hole up in her room, refusing to see anyone but Kiddo, refusing to eat because she'd have no appetite. At one point, after her adoptive mother's murder, she started sneaking out (huge nono for House history trauma reasons) at night and inciting fights in the city. She was desperate for any quick outlet to relieve herself of such intense anguish.

Kiddo has 100% seen her at her worst. There's probably some other OG house residents who have too, but Kiddo has seen it at its most raw. He's held her as she's scream-cried and bled from the most recent self-harm wounds, he's braved her early sanity lapses despite the high likelihood of being seriously injured, he's risked unknown damage to himself while embracing madness to help her fight with Insanity when they were still struggling with the fusion of their souls. There is NOTHING he wouldn't do for her, and no breakdown too intense for him to be at her side for.

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

There might be something I've forgotten after 10 years of her going through one horror after another, but tbh I don't think anything I might be blanking on compares to how she's failed herself. She used to do herself so dirty with her self destructive tendencies, the severity just simply pales anything else I could come up with.

And ofc everyone that lives in the House knows Of it, if not physically there for that era. I don't know if I'd say she's moved past it, but she's been clean from self harm for *does math* roughly a decade, if not exactly that long? (screams and sobs because oh my god the passage of time, I'm so proud of my GIRL)

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

God, does she have many of those. Her father haunts her, not literally. His murder (and previously her mother's presumed murder) broke her at the ripe age of FIVE. She's been hurting herself over it from then until she stopped a decade ago. The only thing that had her clean (for a handful of years I'm not gonna bother to math out rq) was Blake begging her to find a healthier way to cope. That ended up being her Promise(tm) to her parents that she'd never EVER let another loved one die. Which,,, sometimes did just as much if not more harm to her than herself. But ultimately did unquantifiable amounts of good too.

Lucifer haunts her too, no doubt. After 5 or so years of living in fear, making plans like a doomsday prepper, being hypervigilant and keeping everyone she even mildly cared about as close as she possibly could, you don't just.. unlearn that forever, let alone forget it or move on from it completely. Especially when the way it ended gave,, no closure. It just Was Over, unexpectedly.

And those preparations, that paranoia, her promise, and the occasional bouts of self-harm are how she lived with her ghosts. She carries them with her with infinitely more grace and self-preservation now. Her promise is going strong, and now she has the confidence of a fully realized demigod (as well as the actual godly ancestor that Makes her such) to help her live with them too.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Oh you fucking bet your ass she does. Lucifer and everything to do with him especially keeps her up. Some of the things the Sins did before becoming House refugees themselves still mess with her. She is RIDDLED with PTSD and by extension nightmares and anxiety. But she's long since learned how to live with them by now.

A great example of this was Kiddo's kidnapping at 14 which resulted in her and Insanity being cursed together. The two of them CANNOT sleep without each other now, at all, ever. They HAVE to sleep in the same bed, holding each other.

On nights she can't sleep, she lays in his arms, listening to his breathing & heartbeat and sometimes testing if he'll sleep mumble to her. Kiddo has always been and will always be her safe place. If she really can't bear to just lay there awake, she'll probably try listening to music, or she'll let him know she's getting up to go check in on their kids. Thankfully she's formed some healthier habits over the last decade.

[fandomregression]

Ooo you do ohshc!!! If it's okay could I maybe get some regressor Hikaru and Kaoru hcs :0??

:0 i love these twins sm yesssss i have so many ideas for these two

hikaru and kaoru didn't start regressing at the same time

in fact, hikaru regressed first. he was frustrated and tired and he felt so lonely since his brother started making more actual friends than him, and he didn't cope very well

kaoru came home from an ice skating date with some friends, only to find his twin curled up in the middle of their bed crying and sucking his thumb

needless to say it broke his heart. so, kaoru tried to do something that would help hikaru feel better maybe. he put on one of their favorite movies, toy story, and curled up with hikaru, hugging him close

as the movie went on, hikaru started to feel better and kaoru started feeling fuzzy in the back of his head. by the end of the movie, they were both sucking their thumbs and cuddled so tightly together no one could separate them

after that, the two start acting Weird(TM) at the host club. they're acting more like honey senpai when something doesn't go their way, and they're even more pouty and clingy than normal, and haruhi absolutely notices

when they explain how they've been feeling to her, she ends up taking care of them when they're in club or hanging out, much to tamaki's horror. she plays with them, especially when they bring toys to school, and she knows all of their stuffies' names

when the twins are regressed, they loooove to make up plays for their friends. they'll come up with them on the spot, and it's obvious, but their friends love the little plays no matter what.

they really regress because of their hard childhood, and when they're little they love to be surrounded by other people. they honestly can't stand being by themselves when they're little because they have been alone so much of their lives.

just as much as they love physical affection when they're big, they love it when they're little. constant hugs, piggy-back rides, kisses on cheeks and foreheads, whatever they can get from whoever, if they don't get they might Die (and that's a threat).

[black-streak]

Waiting for the Worms - Mother

Part 9

So uh... Marinette's part kind of became too long and I'm going to have to extend it into part 10. Plus the tone of this to the rest is just so different that it seemed necessary to split it. Very Damian centric here. Warning all still apply.

Closed! List (Do y'all mind that I've hit you up four days in a row now?) : @northernbluetongue @thethirdwheelfriend @shizukiryuu @theatreandcomicfreak @michellemagic @karategirl119 @moonlightstar64 @my-name-is-michell @mystery-5-5 @zalladane @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @miraculousdisapointment @dorkus-minimus @jardimazul @allthebooksandcrannies @g-arya @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @persephonescat @mycupisbroken @luciferge @18-fandoms-unite-08 @dawnwave16 @alwaysreblogneverpost @kris-pines04 @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @weird-pale-blonde-person @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @kokotaru @naclychilli @slytherinhquinn @clumsy-owl-4178 @ladybug-182 @darkthunder1589 @evil-elf16 @dast218 @lysslovsanime @emilytopaz @naoryllis @iloontjeboontje @thepeacetea @danielslilangel @finallyaniguana @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff @vixen-uchiha @yuulxd @bleeding-heart-romantic @magic-inthe-stars @st0rmy-w1th1n

~---~

Before the week ended, the boy approached her once more. This time it was after she had just finished up her Arabic lessons, the first time she'd seen him outside of that room.

"Why did she choose you?"

Marinette lifted her shoulders in a shrug and watched the frustrated twist of his lips as he attempted to stare her down. Her eyes occasionally jumped around the corridor, ensuring their privacy, but still refraining from answering.

"Are you mute?" The child demanded of her, "is that why you're with the language masters all the time? To learn to speak?"

Amusement coursed through her, shining from behind her eyes as she lifted a solitary finger to her lips, letting Damian determine her meaning. He didn't disappoint as an excited look came about him and he pressed further, hushing hus voice and moving in closer as though sharing a secret, which wasn't far off from the truth.

"The others aren't aware you can talk, are they? Of course not, dimwitted as they are," he took a condescending tone.

Letting an airy chuckle pass and offering a small smirk to let the other know he hit the nail on the head, she watched as the kid tried to appear composed while also preening under her obvious agreement with his insight. She couldn't help but wonder if this was his first experience with a willing audience. He couldn't be more than seven years old and yet already so cautious about allowing her to see how he enjoyed her attention.

"Well no matter, if they can't figure it out on their own, I see no need to inform them," Damian reassured her, hiding it as another jab at their peers. And after taking note of her appreciative nod, he disappeared the way he came.

...

Over the next few weeks, he showed up at random, venting out his annoyance with the trainers and masters, always under the guise that she couldn't tell anyone anyways without giving herself away, to which she only offered her quiet affirmations and acceptance.

Sometimes he asked questions, only to cut off and respond to himself that of course his companion couldn't answer, returning to his own conversation. It seemed to ease him that he never need worry over what she might say to him. Once in a blue moon he asked something she could answer without opening her mouth.

"Do you have a life outside of here?"

She tilted her head back and forty in contemplation before shaking a decided no. He seemed pleased with this. No competition for her attention, she supposed.

"How many languages do you actually speak then? Or are learning at least."

She contemplated if league dialect counted and decided it had to and also threw in guardian speak since she had been learning it beforehand, lifting up eight fingers. Damian's surprised look and appreciative hum lasted only a moment before his next barrage of insults to those who thought her mute started up once more. 

While their talks only lasted about ten minutes tops and only every few days, the progress was enough to earn her Talia's praise in private, excited that the boy took to her so quickly. She also inquired as to Marinette's tactics but only received a shrug of her own and the quiet explanation that she simply listened.

…

After a particularly grueling training session where the two ended up switching targets midway through their own battles, taking both trainers off guard and downing them in record time, Talia decided to send them out for an extended mission together. Her reasoning that Jason obviously felt protective over the heir and the two worked well enough in tandem that it offered the perfect environment for furthering Damian's training, having only ever tagged along for small time missions in the past.

Later in the evening, she explained how the joint missions extended their trust and allowed more freedom for bonding to occur. How they could further plan for their escape if they knew how to work together outside of the city limits. Marinette meditated every second she could before the start of their new assignment.

The morning of, she collected Damian from the meeting point Talia gave them and led him into the larger group to make their way out of the caves. The mission went on for five days before they finally tracked down their targets. It took all of one night to end the mission, Marinette taking extra precautions to cover Damian's back at all times, landing killing blows to any that threatened the young life entrusted to her. By the end, the little one only took one life. A young woman who landed a lucky shot on Marinette. The boy's eyes widened in fear and struck blindly, slashing his katana across her torso, opening her up to the world before giving another wild slash to her neck. The second the woman dropped, he ran to her side, pressing on the wound and helping her back towards their hideout as the others cleaned out the last of the building. 

As the sun rose, he helped to patch her up, yammering on about how stupid she was to allow herself to be hit like that. How ashamed she should be. How she should be better. Marinette saw the fear and worry and horror waring in his eyes, in the tense way he held his shoulders and shake in his hands. The guilty glances he tossed her, knowing she was distracted by protecting him. She ruffled his hair and offered a crooked grin at his huff of indignation. Neither slept that night, ready to return in the morning.

Damian refused missions without her after that.

…

After their return from their seventh successful mission, over two months later, Talia stopped showing up in the training room. No longer informed Damian where to meet up for missions, allowing the information to flow from the trainers down instead. She still told Marinette inner details in her rooms, but she could tell the woman cut off the child almost entirely. Knew they only saw one another during meetings with Ras.

Within another two weeks, Talia began to distance herself from Marinette in public even further. She was no longer seen as the pet project, but as a full fledged member who happened to run in this squadron. She stayed quiet on the manner, not willing to question her mentor on what she thought best when seen amongst the League. And with Marinette now understanding and speaking both arabic and league dialect fluently, she could spy on the others and gather information much easier without the silencing presence of their leader, all speaking more freely amongst themselves, still under the impression that she was not only mute but one of them now.

Damian seemed to grow more irritable by the day, sticking to her side like glue, quieter and on edge. Separation anxiety most likely. Talia had always retained a distant aloof relationship with her own kid, but he likely never expected her to quit checking up on him entirely, to no longer keep up with his progress and watch his training. She always let him know she hadn't forgotten him entirely, in her own way. Now, she hardly glanced his direction if they happened to enter the same room.

He lasted three weeks without Talia's watchful eye, before he broke down in his own manner.

Marinette heard a soft knock on her door before it creaked open, one green eye peeking in at her, in a silent question. 

Sitting up in her bed, she tilted her head in consideration before nodding her acceptance. She observed as he slid into the room and shut the door behind him, hesitating only a moment in the doorway before marching over towards her and taking a seat, starting in on his usual tirade of random facts and observations. By now, she recognized this as a coping mechanism, his way of excusing his coming to her without outright stating that he just craved the company. A growing suspicion in the back of her mind told her that once he assured himself she wouldn't leave nor dismiss him, he might take to more quiet quality time. For now, he rambled endlessly. Eventually he tired himself out and left her alone once more.

Every other day, he made a reappearance to rant once more until he couldn't find anymore excuses to stay and left, tail practically tucked between his legs.

…

Two months more passed and Talia showed no sign of returning to Damian's life, Marinette finally decided to confront the woman.

"Oh Jason, surely you know I can't escape with you, right?"

Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion at the question, before realizing her own stupidity. Why in the world would she train Marinette to take away Damian if she could do so, herself? As shock overtook her, arms wrapped gently around her shoulders, drawing her into the woman's embrace.

"It would put both of you at too high a risk. I need to stay here and throw them off your trail. To control the situation until you're both too far out of my father's reach. He can't know I have any attachment to either of you for this to work. You need to blend in, mean nothing to me so that everyone overlooks you. It doesn't matter if Damian clings to you, as long as no one else looks at you twice, you're still nobody. You'll slip out and everyone will just assume you died on a mission if they even think of you."

"Can't you meet with him in private? Like you do with me?" She pleaded with Talia, heart heavy knowing she would have to eventually leave another mentor behind. Knowing how Damian hurt for his mother.

"No Jason. He's too young. He won't understand. It's best if he comes to the decision to disown me. To no longer care about me, ao it hurts less in the long run. If he barely ever knew me and I simply disappeared, if he never truly knew my love to begin with, there's less to miss. Less of him to hurt in my absence. I know it's terrible and he feels abandoned, but think how much worse it would be if I showed him love now only to kick him out of the league to never be seen again? I can't add on to that pain."

She hated how much sense that made. Whether Damian knew it or not, his mother loved him so much and was willingly sacrificing her right as his mother so he could have a better life without her. That would never make the years of neglect and abuse okay, but at least she was setting him up to move on to something hopefully better. Marinette would do everything in her power to ensure that hope became a reality.

…

Three months into Talia's disappearing act, six since Damian first came to her in the training room all those months ago, he entered her room and sat without a word on the bed next to her, staring down at the floor. She waited patiently for him to find his words, but tensed upon seeing the tears well up in the corner of the child's eyes. She desperately wished to reach out to comfort him, but restrained herself, not sure how he'd take the action. Eventually, he spoke in a trembling lilt.

"Why am I never good enough?"

Sucking in a breath, she swallowed down the last of her reserve and murmured back, voice a gentle lull, if a little deep and gruff around the edges, "You are plenty enough."

His eyes snapped up to meet hers, wide and clear, "You…"

"You are so much more than you know and anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve you."

He hesitated a moment, "Even mother?"

"No one who pays so little attention and offers so little love deserves the title of mother," she stated, hating herself for the words, knowing how much Talia truly did love and care, but aiming to break his connection to her at the woman's own command.

"You've never spoken to me before," he accused.

"You seemed like you needed someone to listen. And you said it yourself, I couldn't very well pose as mute if I answered all of your questions," she eased.

"And when I came here?"

"You hardly gave an opportunity to speak up in the midst of all your ranting. You don't strike me as the type to appreciate being cut off either," she teased, earning a soft blush in return.

He sobered up after a moment, looking back down towards his feet, "So if she doesn't deserve the title of Mother, I have no one."

"How do you mean?"

"Well Ras hardly deserves the title of grandfather by your definition and it's not like I have a father. So I have no one."

"And what am I then, chopped liver?"

He startled up, shooting her a bewildered look, "What?"

"You've become my personal little leech, attending all of my missions, sharing my training with me, coming into my rooms at your leisure, and yet you have no one? That hurts me deep," she attempted a saddened look, not sure how it turned out with her older, masculine features and white lined scars scattering her skin. It startled a tiny laugh out of him, so she'd take it.

"You… you want me? You actually care?"

"Of course I do, Dami. You're the closest thing to family I've got."

"Family," his inquired, tone guarded, a slight twitch in his nose and uptilt in his chin, giving away his hopeful excitement at the word.

"Yours, if you'd have me."

"That would be," he cut himself off here, trying to control himself, to not appear too eager, "acceptable," he settled on.

"Good. You're well spoken for an eight year old."

"I'm seven," he corrected with a smug smile.

"Even more impressive then," she lilted, watching as he took that to be the end of that conversation, moving to leave, only to stop with a hand on the door.

"Jason?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're my family."

[searchingforserendipity25]

some Lan Xichen seclusion fic ideas:

Zewu-jun is a legend, an ideal, an idea, not a person. Lan Xichen, Lan Huan, has been all but erased underneath the First Jade of Lan - literally. Now that the pedestal has fallen publicly and shattered inwardly, it's a struggle to put what remains into a whole, living man. Fantasy elements, slight psychological horror, collective belief as a form of cultivation.

Lan Xichen the workaholic pining for paperwork. And for his friends and clear conscience, but he's repressing that and the post of Sect Leader is more fundamental to his sense of self than anything else.

The Elders demand a judgement for the shame he brought his clan, corporal punishment included. Lan Wangji has strong opinions about how a Sect Leader should intercede against cruelty in these cases. Lan Xichen has strong opinions about justice being dispensed without favouritism. They're both right. It's very tense and no one says what they mean. Someone sets a book of rules on fire, it's very on the nose.

The Elders seal his golden core away, semi permanently or permanently. Wei Wuxian's opinions. He has advice. He has ... A new disciple in demonic cultivation?? Crack, serious stuff, whatever. Depends on the tone. LWJ's peace of mind is never the same again, but at least his brother and husband are getting along?

Jin Rusong Was Here. Lan Xichen remembers that, if no one else does. Jin Ling shows up to ask about his cousin, maybe.

Something strange lives in the mountain of Gusu, and it has a liking for collecting mournful Lan Sect Leaders.

Lan Wangji uses his newly gained Sect Leader authority to up straight up refuse to let his brother live in their mother's house alone. Or their father's house. Or the cold caves, or the hanshi. He's going to stay inside the jingshi where LWJ can see him and that's it. Lans don't really do family cohabitation, but it's a Thing now because LWJ said so. This makes WWX's visits and then married life more complicated. Healing and domestic shenanigans ensue.

Jin Guangyao's diaries are unearthed and deemed unreadable. Lan Xichen devotes himself to learning the code. Grief and the futile quest to understand the terrible dead abound.

Social responsibility of a sworn brother's deeds passes on to the living. Lan Xichen is held accountable for JGY and has a Bad Time with the assassinations, but he knows his duty and helping those hurt, which comes easily to him. He has to bring the worst of the truth to the light, which goes against his every instinct.

Epic character centric drama/travelogue about Huan Yun, rogue cultivator of no relation whatsoever to the famous Zewu-Jun. Or: LXC relives his times on the run and becomes a hands-on presence with non-cultivators in Gusu, making meaningful relationships, small acts of agency, and working on internal and external redemption. Flashbacks abound. Wen Ning and Song Lan are there at some point.

The emotionally destructive correspondence between a miserable cottage in Clouds Recesses and the seat of power of the Nie Sect Leader.

Just Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen tbh. resentment, chosen family, guilt, affection. cultural and personal differences about the notion of justice and forgiveness, or if they should be persued at all.

The Search for Madam Lan: the family drama when everything comes out.

Composing powerful cultivation songs to summon the spirit of your dead husbands is a valid coping mechanism, I guess. Underlining the fact that his cultivation level is very high for very good reason.

Wei Wuxian's gentle, passive aggressive war of attrition with his brother-in-law is either going to end up on a full-scale fight about war and morality and duty, or in some heart-rending serious family bonding. Maybe both. They both have Adopted Brother Trauma! Either way. Flute Showdowns happen.

Lan Jingyi has a brilliant plan to get his cousin out of the Depression Shack TM! it starts with kidnapping the Nie Sect Leader and gets worse for there.

[hb-pickle]

I realize i never asked you before so I'll ask you now :3 do you have any fun Frozen AUs or headcanons in mind?

UUUHHH.... (these are all extremely loose and only have like, 2 or 3 concepts)

- Werewolf Northuldra AUs

[Young Yelena^TM gets angry at the spirits for trapping her and her tribe in the forest with the Arendellians (who attack them all the time). After a particularly brutal battle, Yelena goes to the spirit's shrine? Holy sight idk? You know that place with the carved rocks from the deleted F2 prologue? That. She's screaming and crying and starts knocking rocks over, breaking things, and scraping off the symbols when the spirits attack her. *Something something battle scene* Bruni sets everything on fire and starts chasing her. She jumps on her reindeer and runs to the coast (same one Elsa was at in F2) where Nokk immediately tries to drown her. The Nokk is stuck in the water though (can't go on land), so she taunts it by riding parallel to the water (so she's close but safe on dry land). The Nokk is enraged and the waters get rougher and more violent. At this point Bruni is also enraged, the coast is made of black sand and there is nothing for him to burn, so Yelena is also out of his reach. He's so mad that the flames surrounding him turn into a huge flaming dragon that bellows and screeches wildly. Yelena eventually runs out of coast, having to run back into the treeline when Bruni burst out!! But haha! She knew this would happen and she ducks, slamming herself and her reindeer flat on the ground as Bruni sails over her, crashing headlong into Nokk (which has, blinded by rage, grown to a monstrous size as well). They both shriek in horror and pain as their opposing elements collide, extinguishing Bruni and evaporating Nokk. The ocean boils as Yelena laughs painfully, mocking them for being puny gods, unfit of their power.

She is then suddenly thrown to the ground so hard that it knocks the wind out of her (by Gale or the Earth giants idk). ((Maybe the earth giants pelt her with stones which slam into her. She gets badly bruised and her reindeer companion has its antler completely shattered)) She coughs blood and her vision slowly comes back to her as she sees that the earth and fire spirits are perfectly fine and have reformed, angry as ever. She expects they will kill her when suddenly Ahtohallan calls out. Ahtohallan, being the mother of all spirits, overrules their death penalty and decides to spare her and hear her concerns (idk how to say it. It decides to answer her prayers, just not in the way she expects). Gale lifts her up off the ground and with a fancy glow of light that burst in the sky (like in Show Yourself) it turns her into a half reindeer half man (maybe her soul fused with the reindeer or something? Idk I didn't think too much about this part). She is horrified and changes from full reindeer to human rapidly begging to know what they have done. The spirits explain that she and her people now have the ability to turn into reindeer at will, which will help them hide in plain sight from the Arendellians. *something something the spirits give a really good "careful what you wish for" speech*. They end the speech with a line like "Run away Simba Yelena. Run away and never return" and she runs back into the forest, back to the remains of her tribe.

Yelena is allowed to return to her tribe, but the spirits will never hear her calls again~~

The rest of the story/headcanon/idk is just the Northuldra learning to cope with their new were-creature abilities and incorporating it into thier lifestyle/culture, or something. 👏👏👏]

- Yelena is HM and Ryder's mom AU

[Yelena is mom^TM and she raises HM and Ryder. This applies to all my Frozen stuff because I just love her. I imagine Yelena is cold and reserved because of the trauma she has experienced, but HM and Ryder are soft and compassionate and dote on her anyways. They bring her gifts and help her with her work and always make her feel validated and appreciated, even when she insists she doesn't need it.]

- That's pretty much it (one hc is edgy and one is soft cottagecore ♡)

Thanks for the ask Ara!!!!

[flying-elliska]

I finally finished Call Down the Hawk ! Here’s my first reaction (very spoilery!!!!) 

- On the whole I loved it. Loved most of the new characters, the themes, the more grown up vibe and the expanding worldbuilding. Is very clearly a set up, opening novel so a bit frustrating in the pacing but nothing major, just a lot more questions than answers. I just felt like it was still the start of the novel, rising tension and then boom ! the end. Had the same feeling with the Raven Boys tbh. But mostly I didn’t want it to end so soon. 

- this book is so sad ? but sad in a nuanced, gotta cope with it, adult sort of way. Like TRC was about a cool adventure quest, of course there were threats but it was full of magic and friendship and the thrill of becoming yourself and wanting *something more.*This is about stopping the end of the world and people having no good options and I can’t think of one main character in this book that isn’t like...subtly devastating. But it’s sad in a way that centers the agency of the protagonists and how much they care and how hard they’re trying, so it doesn’t feel fatalistic or gloomy. It’s just *arrrrrgh my heart*. They’re all trying so hard to cope but if they don’t find a better way to cope with their problems soon it’s going to kill them. Lol the young adult mood nowadays or what. 

- Ronan broke my heart, really. I loved that on one hand there are clear signs that he’s grown so much - he is able to show tenderness, to be open about his sexuality, he’s taken control of his dreaming to a point where he’s capable to help Hennessy - but at the same time he’s clearly depressed and he doesn’t know his place in the world and feels like everyone is moving on without him. Because the implications of his powers make it impossible for him to live a ‘normal’ life. Surviving your teenage years and self-acceptance is only the beginning ; then you have to deal with a world that isn’t made for you. He needs to find his people. This is just so, so relatable for a neuroatypical twenty-something...feels like a punch in the face. I am sooooo happy he found Hennessy and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes. Worried about Bryde and how easily he could manipulate Ronan, though. Also, I am interested in the new sun symbolism attached to him - the kid permanently dressed in black with his ‘night horrors’ previously - now he’s making little lights/little suns everywhere in the guise of fireflies or floating flowers or little lights ; he has sundogs and a sun blade. Obviously there could be a link to the fire that is slated to destroy the world (and Kavinsky’s fire dragon !!!!) but it can also very much go in the direction of ‘stepping into the light’ and full life giving potential and sun-drenched tomatoes and happiness. MAN his arc in this trilogy is going to rock so hard i just cannot wait. 

- I just love Hennessy and her girls so, so much. The idea of living with clones of yourself is so fascinating to me...the fact that Hennessy struggles with the similarities with her mother, the artist who killed herself, and how caring for the girls seems to be a substitute for caring for herself, which she can’t manage. That scene in the bathroom...heartbreaking. Like can you imagine not being able to sleep for longer than 20 min ? That’s torture. Nod her relationship with Jordan, so complex. This idea of ‘my parallel universe self can live a better life than me if I keep all the self-hate’ ; of dreaming a better version of yourself. They care for each other so much but there is so much resentment being trapped in that state of being too. I wonder why Hennessy dreamed copies instead of something else : out of a need to be less alone with her plight ? To find others like her ? Or is it a darker ‘take her not me’ way to hide ? The fact that she gets a moon sword in the end (the moon being a reflection of the sun duh) makes this symbolism all the more present. Maybe she had this struggle of feeling like a copy of her mother, beautiful and wild and doomed and codependent on the man she loved. I can’t wait to see where this goes. I was just heartbroken that most of the girls had to die. Plus some bi rep yayyyyy (and more characters that are not white dudes ftw). It’s interesting that the Lace picked her specifically to torment ; I can’t help but feel it’s tied to that unsteady sense of self. Anyway, I really hope Hennessy gets to a place of love and self knowledge and self care and being surrounded by people who love her. I feel like her POV really underlines how tiring it can be to doubt yourself so constantly. 

- Declan Lynch ! Wow, I just love love love a POV switch that shows unsuspected depths about a previously disliked character. His arc is really *eldest sibling plight* taken to the extreme. Being boring for survival because you can’t afford to be a problem. Yup, extremely relatable too. It’s very refreshing because a lot of the MC of TRC have this ‘edgy cool we don’t like rules vibes’ which can come over as very immature (i meah duh they’re teens) and Declan had to grow up too fast and his sticking to the rules and trying to impose structure on Ronan’s life and completely draining his own life of any sense of joy or individuality, feels half like a survival technique half trauma response stemming from the terror of being given responsibilities at way too young an age and coping with the chaotic environment he grew up in and the constant threat of discovery. It’s like, textbook ‘child parentalization’ and it really sucks and Niall Lynch is an incredible asshole. And Ronan is pretty much stuck in father worship mode and turning all his anger towards Declan. The growth there...is going to be super therapeutic. And I love his thing with Jordan. Survival makes it impossible for them to be their true selves but they find something true together ? Aww. I can’t wait for them to be together at the Barns, which is really Romance Central in this universe. (I foresee angst too but ehhhh). And more art flirting and museum dates. 

- I also love how dream beings are getting more autonomy in this book. I think Declan distancing himself from Jordan in the end is this old complex about being non-magical and therefore inferior, but also because he doesn’t consider dreams to be real people capable of consent or interiority. I found the idea of Aurora Lynch always extraordinarily fucked up and in this book we learn it’s even worse - that she was basically a copy of Declan’s real mom ? Imagine growing up with that...no wonder he hates Niall. Though the idea of Mor O Corra doing the same thing is really intriguing, makes you wonder what the fuck happened there (was it a mutual decision ? was it a revenge thing ? Man their whole family is just so messed up lmao. But I just love the idea of Boudicca and the magical lady mob though.) And Matthew learning he is a dream and starting to deviating from his ‘happy but kind of dumb’ behavior in the previous books. He’s always been this previsible creature but now he isn’t and I feel like a big difference between him and Jordan was this knowledge. She has this knowledge of what she is and she immediately has more sense of self and agency and I feel that that’s a key theme of the book - knowledge, self knowledge. It’s basically what the ‘Call Down the Hawk’ title links to - Bryde talking about the man who turned into a falcon and then a hawk and learning so much about the world ; calling down the hawk would mean the man coming down and sharing this knowledge ; for Ronan it’s as well meeting and helping Hennessy ; so it’s about knowing your own nature through meeting people who are like you, as well. I love !!!!!

- Adam ! Not enough Adam in this book. I spent the book missing him, but that makes sense, because that’s the mindset Ronan is in. He represents what Ronan can’t have, and the Longing tm just permeates the whole book. Everytime he appears he’s just the epitome of cool, whether as dark academia vibes Harvard Student with his queer clique the Crying Club or Hot Motorcycle Boyfriend. He knows exactly what Ronan needs - understands his distrust when Ronan wonders if this is the Real Adam, tells him ‘go slow’ instead of just don’t, wants to take a look at Bryde to check the dude out, drives eight fucking hours on a motorcycle he can’t even drive properly to spend three hours with Ronan...he’s just like a dreamboat in this one lmao and after all the shit he went through in TRC...Therapeutic. But he is also increasingly distant and it’s so painful in a delicious way - the longing between characters who are already together but who are being kept apart by life is one of my fave angst tropes ever. Ronan wants to grow old with him and has romantic horny farmer dreams about him and the whole ‘tamquam alter idem’ thing...Boi i die that shit is just so...Romance tm. And I love how true to them it is, they’re achingly tender and yet there is still that strong chaotic shithead vibe between the two of them. Honestly the fight with the murder crabs was fucked up but made me laugh so much too. But then Ronan not being able to stay ? HEARTBREAKING. Ronan having Adam under ‘MANAGEMENT’ in his phone...really fucking funny but also feels like Ronan puts a sense of stability and direction in Adam and now that Adam is so distant...he feels extra vulnerable so he compensates with jokes. Ouch. Anyway I really want more about Adam and the Crying Club. Adam’s mix of cold, calculating pragmatism and compassion and understanding ? I love him so much, damn. I hope he’s a POV character in next book. I can see Ronan disappearing with Bryde and Adam looking for him, tbh. He’s too important to Ronan to stay on the periphery forever I hope. 

- the Carmen Farooq-Lane chapters were my least favorite, especially when she’s with Parsifal - it felt kind of repetitive. I feel like Maggie’s villain chapters are often sort of a weak point - the bad guys tend to be either ‘Vague Ominous Cosmic Horror Entity that wants to Destroy Everything’ (also often a terrifying reflection of mental health issues/existential terror) or ‘Evil Prep’ lmao, and I had the same feeling w the Whelk or Greenmantle chapters in TRC. That said, I feel like Farooq-Lane has potential. Her persistent self delusion about how she’s the good guy is fascinating. Her ‘evil sibling, obvious trauma hidden by politeness and cleanliness, probably is going to have a redemption arc’ thing feels very Gray Man. Her punching Ramsay moment was very ‘hell yeah’ and tbh I already ship her with Liliana - who feels a bit underdrawn at the moment too, but interesting potential. The Moderators, still, feel a bit too ‘generic lawful evil agency’ yet, but the concept is interesting. I really really love Bryde as an idea though. His speeches to Ronan are fascinating ; from one aspect they really illustrate a fascinating concept of the Earth coming back to real magic but from another, he sounds like a cult leader. Selling this idea to vulnerable people that their difference makes them special - and well Ronan and Hennessy definitely are, but does that make them better than other people ? Seen as how Ronan reacts to Declan, it feels like he would be vulnerable to that idea. Hennessy not so much ; I can see her accept Bryde’s help out of pure necessity maybe, but not be swayed by his lies. I really feel like they’re going to need each other. 

- So much cool worldbuilding...The Fairy Market concept is amazing (but also scary as shit right...like they’re selling people ? Probably dreams but that is still fucked up as hell ? Then again we’ve seen dreams die in pretty casual circumstances so the question is very much ‘so...what is personhood here?’). The idea of Visionaries is absolutely horrifying. Some people saying Adam could become one ? My god I’m not sure if I could stand those levels of angst. His ‘seeing the future of the world instead of people’ thing though...feels very compatible. Or at least like Adam could contrebalance the Visionaries’s visions somehow at the very least. Anyway, this is going to hurt. But it’s cool to have more answers ; the ending of TRC left a lot unexplained in my mind about the Lynch fam or why all those people wanted the Greywaren so bad etc. So this is very satisfying. 

- So Miss Maggie really went wanting to be normal at the expense of your true self is no way to live and also if you don’t create what you need to, you're going to die ? haha thanks for the callout i feel attacked. But honestly her saying that this was about the necessity and price of creation man I am soooo interested in where this is going to go next. All in all a stellar book, 10/10 would read again to overanalyze (yeah more than this even), most frustrating thing is waiting for the next one 

[lanshappycorner]

OwO...so I wrote a longish poem based around a certain premise that will be explained...at the end of the poem. I’m half asleep rn, so it’s a pretty fragmented poem, and it doesn’t make sense w/o an (5 paragraph) explanation but uhh I hope no one minds

TW: Violence and gore and just depressing topics in general uwu It’s Alice in Wonderland themed and yall know the horror potentials for that story :^))

A L I C E....

Stuck in an endless loop, an endless dream,

what shall you do now, young Alice?

Your fingers are wounded, your skin so pale

The thorns of the roses you hold

They prick you, do they not?

Doesn’t it hurt? Will you cry?

Let me hold you, let me hold you

I’ve created an abomination

For you no longer see

You no longer sing

You no longer speak

A gear turning for an eternity

What do you seek?

Young Alice, does it hurt?

The Queen you once loved is gone

Beheaded by her own subjects

Her scepter remains, her dresses a pure white

Will you take her place?

Will you take their lives?

She is far away now, she is gone

Young Alice, does it hurt?

Do you pity me?

I can no longer fix you

I can no longer see

The sadness in your eyes

Will you leave me? Young Alice,

Let me hold you

Let me hear your words

Once more

The rabbit you once loved

Is gone, stained red

The cards had laughed

The hatter, you could not find

Who is there to help you, but me?

Young Alice, does it hurt?

My words, you cannot understand

My feelings, you cannot comprehend

Lost in a sea of wine, in a sea of tears

You never seem to grow

Will you chase once more

In the misty lands you once loved

Hills dyed velvet

The sea dyed grey

Young Alice, it is the end

Does it hurt? Does it hurt?

Come closer

Let me hold you

For now, is the end,

Young Alice,

Does it hurt?

---------

Ajshd my writing is usually better but today i’m just Word Dumping tm hrngg anyways the concept of this is that there’s this dude, he’s an inventor and the narrator. He has a wife and a daughter around 10 or so, however she seems to be somewhat mentally unable. One night, everyone in his family gets brutally murdered, and he’s the only one alive and Mentally Traumatized ™. So what does he do??

Make two AIs designed after his daughter and wife of course!! :DD

Right so it only gets better lmao the wife AI was the first model, and therefore a failure. She doesn’t move, or speak, she’s no better than a corpse. However, disillusioned, the inventor starts to believe she is his real wife and says that she’s just “tired”. His AI daughter on the other hand, is able to move and speak, however she does not have any emotions. She is constantly doted on by him, but she feels nothing, for she’s only a robot.

As she “grows older” he realizes she isn’t growing. That’s where he gets flashbacks to his own Dead ™ daughter. Apparently, she used to be bullied back in school, and with her mental instabilities, she was unable to cope. At some point, she went crazy and tried to kill him and his wife. In the heat of the moment, he hits her with his wrench and kills her. He then proceeds to freak out and realizes that he doesn’t want to go to jail and shit so he messes with their corpses and it turns out super brutal looking and no one was able to track it down to him.

If you thot that was bad, it gets worse ;d so like he remembers these things, and goes into a fit of denial. He grabs Alice by her hair and pours water on her, claiming that without water, she won’t grow. This causes her to malfunction and viola another killing machine. Anyways yall guessed it, she does a pterodactyl screech and goes batshit crazy. Then she rips apart the Wife AI and the Inventor is just like ohh shitt deja vu

And as expected, she grabs a wrench and starts to beat the shit out of him, but by now he’s like lol kill me pls my dotter. So he’s still...under the illusion he previously broke. He’d rather die believing his daughter killed him, rather than some mindless killing machine…

...Or smth like like that teehee!

[kronicillk]

78 days in a mental Health facility. TW abuse.

I wish I could only share that my positive out of the time I spent there was I learnt that TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) was not for me and I finally built up the courage to leave my unstable family house. While I have only moved the next suburb over, transport for me is not easy and I’m still involved with my family so far the process in which I moved out proved beneficial. 

But what lead up to that decision, was an influx of repressed memories that TMS triggered. While uncommon, not unheard of. The memories of abuse I remembered were so distressing not only did I repress them once again, but I was a danger to my physical self, self harming regularly to try and cope with such intense memories and emotions I encountered. But because of this, something finally snapped in me and I knew I could not return back to my parents house, as I did not feel safe. 

My Brother sexually assaulted me.  

My father emotionally, mentally, (physically as a child) and financially abuses me.

My mother watches on the side lines and defends his actions, occasionally even emotionally abusing me.

Neither of my parents knew what My brother did. 

I have been raped. 

I was severally bullied from age 5 till 15.

I did not believe any of these were that bad until I realised how repressed they were. And even years later for some and only a week or so for others they bear deep wounds within me that even with my maturing brain still cannot process. 

I do not hate my bullies. I understood long ago that they had unstable home lives and bullying me helped them, and that I too could of become the bully.

My rape, was not nearly as soul destroying as my brothers sexual assault on me. My brother propositioned me for sex. 

He is now in the Forces and I will only rarely see him now. So my fear and locking the door at night is no longer something that shakes me. Even in a new house even though he is kilometres away and does not engage with me, I still lock my door at night even though my housemate who is one of my best friends and her cat are the only people residing here and have better security than my former residence. 

I cannot forgive my parents, I still have dinner with them and occasionally see my mother as we still have a decent relationship even if it is exhausting being around her. My father I now hold a sharp tongue to, I do not fear him as when I’m in his company these days I am also with my housemate or some other not blood related. And he bites his tongue and does not speak cruelly to me in front of others. 

I am doing better, but now I struggle with memories I still squash into my subconscious. I know they are there now, and I fear them. But I am now in better control of my life instead of my family and can seek the help I need to finally be able to vocalise these horrors that have wounded me so.