#it hasn't even been two months
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J. Smith-Cameron attends the 2024 Writers Guild Awards New York Ceremony on April 14, 2024.
#j. smith cameron#j smith cameron#jsc#dailywomen#dailywomansource#blondessource#agelesswomen#breathtakingqueens#femalestunning#wonderfulwomendaily#*#edit*#actors*#jsc*#awards*#HI HELLO HI#it hasn't even been two months#since her last event#BUT I MISSED HER#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
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:/
#wanting to be on here so much more often but im so anxious about the current state of the world and trying to get a job#i get rejection after rejection and my parents are literally talking behind my back and are recommending me jobs that just need a hs diploma#or they think im not applying#and then theres these two equal and opposing forces: one who is so scared of moving far far far away from home and wants to stay in the#familiar forever. and the other side wants to gtfo and make something of life#my brain is just so loud and i feel like such a failure all the time and my parents are only making me feel worse#it shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a job in bioengineering. it's fucking engineering#and back to the parent thing... i wouldn't be this upset if they weren't so pushy. in this job market it takes approx 6 months for new grads#to get a job#it hasn't even been two months#ik they want what's best. but i feel so belittled#i feel belittled by everything these days like it takes me forever to respond to messages and i feel so depressed#maybe i just need a good cry but i truly am just so stuck and i wish future me could grab me by the shoulders and tell me it's gonna fucking#be ok and just relax#i just dont see anything good happening for me in the future#negativity tw#apple lady words
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I can't imagine being anywhere near as insane as Trump supporters because my dad told me that he, earlier, drove past a guy putting a "Harris Walz 2024" sign outside his house and decided to yell out at him "TRUMP 2024 YOU COCKSUCKER" and flip him off. And he laughed when he told me because he thinks that yelling at a man (emphasized man because he thinks men should be "better" than women, and "better" would be voting for Trump in this case) who is voting for a "whore who slept her way to the top" (his exact words) is funny. And expected me to laugh with him. And got angry when I didn't and just stared at him in disbelief. Even though he already knows that I don't like Donald Trump. These people fully expect others to find their weird ass derogatory words and behavior FUNNY. Donald Trump is leading a cult of old people who he brainwashed into being delusional with him.
#vote blue#harris walz 2024#kamala harris#tim walz#i know some fucker is gonna be here saying like “it's true i was the tree”#i didn't see this with my own two eyes but i've lived 21 years with my dad and i HAVE seen him do shit like this#but it was mostly just honking at random people on the sidewalk or yelling “WHERE Y'GOING” in their direction out the window#like it's still embarrassing and weird but not derogatory#and since being retired and having nothing to do all day except watch trump and more trump and more trump he has gotten worse#not a day has gone by in the last four months where he hasn't insulted joe biden or kamala harris#and every single time he has expected my brother and i to laugh at his insult even though he knows that we don't like trump#it's so depressing watching your own parent become a worse person#he was already one of the insufferable republicans before trump and now he's a trump republican which is even worse#and yk what's even worse it's that my mom has no spine against men so if her boyfriend asks for her to vote trump she'll be like “okay”#she's not a republican she just doesn't care because she thinks voting doesn't matter#my aunt who i have always loved so much now calls up my dad to talk about trump with him and i never heard her swear until this year#my other aunt makes talking about trump her entire personality when she has a gambling addiction she should be treating instead#my dad's side is a bunch of trump supporters and my mom's side just doesn't give a fuck#and i can't vote because i'll get kicked out of here faster than the speed of light the second my dad sees#the paper in the mail saying that my voter history has been updated#even if it's not public who i voted for because he knows that whoever i vote for will never be trump#sorry#tag vent#this sucks#please vote
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I'm gonna need him to stop being so lovely and adorable before I start experiencing actual genuine ficto attraction to him please sir I am begging you I can't handle this right now!!!
#LIGHTHEARTED.#BUT IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN TWO MONTHS. YET I'M OUT HERE SHOPPING FOR FURNITURE LIKE I wonder what my boyfriend would think of this table 🥰#self ship#🧡🗺️#mine
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It's hard having a fav character with no content
#uuuughh...okino...#actually there is content of him but there hasn't been anything new for months <//3#its so sad going to his tag just to see its the same thing from 4 months ago#AND NOVA#theres literally nothing about her#honestly i think i only saw like 2-3 posts focusing on her and not like just putting her in the background#do i have to do everything by myself#nova is literally so cool y'all dont even understand#the never witch too#but im more chill w it#also rooky partnur#everytime i go in her tag its the same fricking roleplayer#no hate to roleplayers love you guys but i wanna see more art <//3 i need to its my only food#ghehsfhs#my fav nexo knight character is aaron so its okay for him#but still i feel liek the nexo tag gets updated like every two monthd#im ok with no face cuz theres like no content of lego city no limits at all#as for lmk theres content for literally every character so im ok#and hidden side...jb...jejfjjsdhfh#and lego friends tnc i cant say my fav character cuz i don't want the fandom to kill me#damn sorry for yapping so much#m00n talks#even tho most of the talk is in the tags#ok im done
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#I'm losing my mind HOW DID THIS HAPPEN#when the comic's finished I might just need to go back and fix the little goblin skflaksjf#It hasn't even been that long it's been what... two months maybe?#Good Lord#It was my first time ever drawing Dimentio cAN yOu TeLL!?
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I have been absolutely enchanted by @nabooro's worldbuilding and conlang since I first came across it over a year ago; having recently got back into Star Wars (and, as always, coming back to my favourite planet and group of characters) I found myself wanting to write something focusing on Sabé, as I see her using this worldbuilding and conland that was created so lovingly.
This is slightly inspired by the Queen's books, which I read and enjoyed, but as I disagree with a lot of the direction the books went (either due to my own attachment to certain Legends aspects or due to the fact I just didn't like them) this fic is definitely not compliant to their canon.
I have also taken a lot of inspiration from a host of different fanfics I've read over the years, so if you see something familiar, there is a good chance I was inspired by it but didn't realise!
Anyway, this has been a lot of fun to write so I'm looking forward to sharing it :)
#I've been working on this on and off for like two months now#I have other stuff I write so it hasn't just been this but I do love this one to bits#I haven't even finished this as I promised I would#I still have several chapters left to write haha but I got impatient about sharing it#I have been writing some other Naboo stuff which I'll hopefully post when I finish it/get close to finishing it#Sabé#Tsabin#Naboo Handmaidens#Naboo#Nabooro#Star Wars#Star Wars Prequels#Fanfiction#Fae's Fic#Fae's Stuff
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yet another day of feeling like shit at work but at least i got to leave an hour and a half early for some orthostatic testing yaaayyyyy
#mistook him asking for a dosage as meaning the dose and i think he would have started fully yelling at me if my coworker hadn't stepped in#because that's totally a normal thing to lose your mind at someone who hasn't even been doing the job for two months over#i cannot wait to quit <3#me
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good news: i was able to finish two whole points on my nine-point outline
bad news: each bullet point took approximately 2k words. at this rate, i might have an 18k word fic.
#if i post an 18k klapollo in like two months you all know what happened#i also don't totally hate what i've written so far#bracelet scene kind of slapped tbh#i'm actually surprised that the ground i'm working on here hasn't been tread too much before#i can't think of another fic that wrestles with the thing that the climax of this fic does even though it's an important part of aa4#also i'm writing out of order which almost never happens with me. this is shocking.
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#i genuinely think i need some time away from home--even if it's just for a season or so#ever since K died home just hasn't been quite the same. or at least the moments of it feeling normal are fewer than the heavy & painful ones#i think it also says a lot that in the past 8 days i have been in two different places that were not my home & were way out of town#and I've gotten the best sleep I've had in...months or maybe nearly a year#i need to keep praying about this#see what doors God opens#the ramblings of a dragon
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Oh fuck I forgot that the only other person Enaste has had romantic feelings for died of a snake bite. So Solas being poisoned is Not Great For Her
#i love forgetting background about my own oc#i came up with it like two months ago too it hasn't even been that long
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J. Smith-Cameron and Zoë Winters at the Opening Night Celebration of Free Shakespeare in the Park's "Hamlet" held at The Delacorte Theater on June 28, 2023 in New York City.
#j. smith cameron#jsc#agelesswomen#wonderfulwomendaily#femalestunning#and she's wearing gerri's clothes so you know#dailywomen#blondessource#*#edit*#actors*#jsc*#she hasn't been out in two months#and my crush is as strong as ever#even after more than a year#so i just have to#she's just SO DAMN PRETTY#and she's wearing gerri's clothes so#HDJAHFKAHALDHD
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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weeps what do I have to do to get rid of that communities tab at the bottom of the app ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡
#ignore me I'm being dramatic#i had been invited to a community thing almost two months ago and even though i didn't accept the invite the communities tab didn't go away#it's not actually a huge deal#i just sometimes see it then get pissed and try to download an older APK in hopes it'll go away but it hasn't#maybe I'm not going back far enough in the APKs? idk#it's not the end of the world if i can't get rid of it. it really isn't. i just hate it being there when it isn't something i use#same principle as when tumblr tried to fuckin make tumblr live a thing#I don't want it i didn't order it#Cyanide speaks
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cw!: CN server spoilers under the cut! view at your own risk!
I'M SORRY ?!
what the fuck is this
this event feels like a callout bc what the fuck is that scar placement for if not a direct "@ trixie we saw your blog ur ass hasn't been playing so we're giving him the Tommy Arashikage Scar™︎ give us your fucking money and be bound in the chains of capitalism you WHORE"
EXACT FUCKING PLACEMENT TOO this is a direct callout which one of yall works for hyv
fuck you hoyo this is manipulative capitalism I will be waiting when it comes out thank you v much TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY
#tears of themis#zuo ran#artem wing#baek eunhu#sakyo shizuma#I HAVE BEEN CALLED FORTH FROM THE GRAVE ?#they rlly said 'oh you wanna talk shit? talk shit abt THIS you SLUT'#how dare you use my two weaknesses against me#'hmm how do we haunt this one bitch who keeps talking shit about the 2nd anniversary even though she hasn't played in months?'#this post is an apology to my wallet#they rlly said GIRL I FOUND THE DRAGONFUCKER#FISH HER OUTTT
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blowing a kiss to my mutuals who i have been sorely neglecting. on account of the Horrors.
#:)#i could conveniently lie and say the phd workload has been kicking my ass but that hasn't been happening#i've basically been sitting around trembling like a chihuahua on the verge of throwing up every day for the past like two months. lmao.#don't wanna Mope Post but i am like just barely struggling through to meet my bare minimum obligations rn it is so unsexy for me haha#energy in the negative all the time. so stressed i can barely function. crippled with guilt and fear about literally everything#even my Chronic Distress stomach condition i had as a teenager is rearing its head once again after a whole decade like............#i'm in the trenches so badly i can't even pretend it's funny#all the time i feel ashamed and lazy over this because i'll write like 1000 words and send one (1) message to someone and clock out#because that tiny amount of stuff is all i can psychologically stomach like @ me be serious..............#so yes i'm definitely neglecting everything kind of but it's not on purpose and i Am really trying i prommy#it's just hard to consistently do things from within the torment nexus ^_^
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