#it has smoked tofu in it

[perilegs]

it's tomato soup and a sandwich type of day

[spockoholic]

so, fun story, within DAYS of making this post i caught a nasty cough at work that i’m still trying to get rid of (💀 the start of the school year releases every illness imaginable upon the city, it’s a petri dish in there, not even considering covid) and i have been eating so much soup, frankly an obscene amount of soup, specifically miso soup so i thought i’d share tonight’s soup on the soup post: we got miso soup with oyster mushrooms tofu and wakame. very good, quick and easy, tasty tasty, good for me will cure me (maybe)

IT’S SEPTEMBER ITS TIME DONT TALK TO ME

rb with ur fav soup

[ms-demeanor]

Hey also you know that post about getting better at cooking and handling meat and stuff?

Meat is really expensive and it goes bad pretty quickly.

If you're a new cook and you're trying to figure out how to pan-fry something so that it tastes good, might I recommend tofu?

I'm not saying "treat tofu like meat and try to replace all your favorite meat dishes with tofu" (though, I mean, if that sounds good - go for it), I'm saying "it's a lot easier to practice heating a pan and flipping objects in a pan for a meal and seasoning objects in a pan when the objects in the pan cost two dollars instead of ten dollars."

Tofu lasts a lot longer in the fridge than meat does, is easy to season, and you can easily learn how to pan-fry it into a tasty snack (or main course) and only requires a little extra prep. You can also pretend that the tofu is raw meat (the texture isn't dissimilar) and start practicing for things like how to take it out of a package or cut it on a sanitizable surface, etc.

My favorite way to cook tofu is to press extra firm tofu for at least half an hour (you can get a cheap tofu press for around ten dollars, or you can put it between two plates with some books on the top plate - this is that extra prep i was talking about - tofu cooks best if you press the excess water out), then slice a 14oz cake of it into 8 slices. I lay these flat and sprinkle cayenne pepper, mushroom powder, and smoked paprika on all of the slices, then I rub it in and flip the slices and season the other side the same way. I cook it in a frying pan with a thin layer of avocado or olive oil over medium heat, flipping every two minutes until the flat sides start to crisp up a little. Just before the last flip I add about a tablespoon of tamari sauce (you can use soy sauce, I've just got allergies) to the pan, sprinkling it over the tofu so that both sides get a little bit of sauce on them.

I have that with steamed vegetables and with jasmine rice (with two teaspoons of rice wine vinegar per 3 cups of dry rice and 4.5 cups of water). I also make a honey-siracha-mayo sauce that I dip the tofu in.

It's really good. And now I end up eating leftover rice and sauce with fried eggs for lunch at least two days a week and that's also really good.

This has become one of my go-to low spoon foods because it's so easy to make, it's filling, it tastes good to me, and it has become extremely easy for me to keep a stock of tofu in the fridge compared to the effort of keeping un-expired meat in the fridge.

I find that a 14oz pack of tofu feeds two adults for one meal, though I can stretch that to three meals if I'm the only one eating.

It makes a very cheap, filling, easy dinner that I can keep the ingredients around for without too much concern for food waste or anything going bad (the tofu that I get lasts about a month in the fridge and these days I just buy three packs every time I'm at aldi and cycle in new stock - it costs $1.50 per pack)

If you're interested in becoming a better cook, rather than worrying about actual high-risk products like raw chicken that can be seriously dangerous and also cost a fair amount, tofu has a pretty low barrier to entry while also being a good way to learn on a new ingredient that has some similar properties to raw meat.

[smutallyouwant]

One-shot World Chp. 6

Free Use Best-Friend

Dahyun x M Reader

Word Count: 2.1k words

" Ughh fuck, you're so fucking good Dahyun "

" Ahhh~ yes, Jun keep fucking me "

You were smoking your vape on the floor resting while you watch your best friends fuck on the bed in doggy style. Your trio friend group just became sex indulged monsters and your apartment has become your sex den.

" I'm cumming babyy, I'll cum inside you "

" Yesss yess fill my pussy up "

" Ughhhhhh~~~ " they moan in unison.

Flashback

Yourself, Dahyun, and Jun is a trio of friend group that started in your 1st year college. Jun and you obviously have feelings for Dahyun but she has her boyfriend. The two of you became like brothers for her and you do things together.

You're now in your 3rd year in college and Dahyun just texted you that her boyfriend broke up with her. You told her to go to your apartment.

*knock knock knock

Dahyun raced to hug you after you opened your door. She is wearing a sporty crop-top and a jean short.

" What's wrong with him, he dumped me right before the Christmas break " Dahyun sobs while hugging you from your neck.

" Are you okay? Come let's wait first "

" No oppa, can we go to your bed? I want to rest "

You led her inside your bedroom and the two of you hugged each other on the bed while Dahyun still sobs from what happened.

" So, what happened? "

" He dumped me, he said that he fell out of love "

" How dare he " you answered.

" Am I not pretty oppa? How dare he, he fucked me as he likes and I suck his dick as he want but he dumped me just like that "

You're shocked by what she said but you want to do your best to calm her down.

" No, you're so beautiful Dahyun "

" You're also super sexy, he will have a hard time forgetting about you in bed " you added.

Dahyun looked at you seductively but you invaded her hot eyes. This is the first time that the two of you become super intimate with each other. She rubs your back while resting on your chest and you rub and sniffs her hair and her shoulders. Both of your breaths became heavy and just found yourself kissing her shoulders.

" ugh~ huhh~ hmm~ " Dahyun moaned gently with heavy breaths.

Based on her reactions you decided to take the opportunity to kiss and lick her shoulders. Her shoulders smell like fragrant tulips and her skin is as smooth and white as a soft tofu. You then moved up to her neck that caused her to bite her lips and moan with her breath. She moans under her breath and pulls off a horny smile before palming your face.

" ~mhhhhh fuck Y/N " she said before pulling your for a kiss.

The two of you kissed like you're both hungry for each other. Her sweet pink lips are so soft and her tongue is so tasty that you gently sucks them each and every kisses. You both sucked each other's tongue and exchanged saliva in between kisses. Your hands roam inside her top, she doesn't have a bra and her crop-top hides her stiff and pink nipples. Fondling her perky plump boobs is like heaven, you can hear her moans under the make out each and every squeeze. Dahyun inserted her hands inside your shorts and gently stroked your shaft.

" I've been wanting to do this to you " you blatantly said.

Dahyun looked at you for a second before taking off her top, you then removed your shorts. Her white milkers with pretty pinkish nipples made your dick throb. Dahyun then massaged your face as she leaned over to make you suck on her boobs.

"I know you want to do this a long time ago, you've been staring at these for quite a long time now " Dahyun said.

" Have you jerked off while thinking of my body? " she added.

You nod while still suckling on her boobs.

" That's cute, the other one " she said before putting her other boob into your mouth.

The two of you locked eyes while you suckled on her boobs, her other arm massages your shaft while the other was massaging your cheeks.

" Do you want to fuck me, Y/N? "

You nodded.

Dahyun suddenly sucked you off aggressively. Her head game is seriously perfect, no teeth and her fellatio tongue work is crazy.

" Fuck, you've been trained by your boyfriend to suck me like this huh "

" Come, fuck me " she answered.

You pushed her into the bed and quickly removed her bottom. You aligned your shaft into her wet pussy and pounded her aggressively on a missionary position.

" Your head game is crazy, did your boyfriend teach you that? "

" Yes, yess ugh~~ "

" Shit shit shit shit " she cursed in pleasure.

" Fuck Y/N I'm cumming "

" Already? Is my cock that good? "

" Yeshhh yes, you cock is the best, Ughh~~ keep pounding my pussy fuckk, I'll be your cum dump if you made me cum now "

She pleaded, crying for you to keep on fucking her already flopping pussy.

" Yeshhh I'm cumming~~ " she squealed.

She bit her lips and her hands squeezed both her boobs as she trembled in pleasure. She smiled seductively as she squirts on your bed.

" Ughhh fuck Y/N that's so good "

" My bed is wet now, guess I'll have you pay for that "

You laid her down revealing her plump ass.

" Well I guess I can use this "

You lined your shaft into her booty hole and pressed your head down slowly until it went in.

" ughhh fuckkkk! " Dahyun squealed as you slowly pushed it inside her cheeks.

You started slow, Dahyun fingers herself as you stick your dick into her anus.

Your dick is so wet with Dahyun's drool so it went in perfectly.

" Ohh, god this feels different " you muttered.

You then fucked her ass while she uses 2 of her fingers to flick her clit.

" You can go faster and harder " she whispered .

With her words you shall grant, you start to bang her harder and faster burying all of your dick every thrust. She muffled her mouth with the pillow while she fastened the pace of her fingering.

The room was filled with the sounds of two bodies banging each other and the noise of Dahyun's muffled moans.

" mhh, mhhh,mhhh ,mhhh ,mhhh~~~ "

Her moans followed the beat of your every thrust. You're nearing your climax as this is your first time fucking anal and it's with your friend Dahyun.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming "

Dahyun moaned repeatedly as her finger fastened its pace. You pummeled one last time filling up her ass with you cum, she squirted right after you removed your dick inside her ass and Dahyun trembles aggressively as you watch her squirt with her ass drooling with your cum.

" That was my first anal sex, I didn't think that it'd feel that good " you said.

Dahyun limped there for a minute before responding.

" You can feel that again, just call me hehe "

Dahyun that time quickly left because she said that she had some errands to attend.

2 days later...

Dahyun arrived at your apartment with your friend, Jun. They brought drinks and meat for you to enjoy. The three of you just chatted for 30 mins while drinking.

" Come one let's have some fun and not be boring " Dahyun exclaimed.

" Let's play a drinking game, the 2 truths and 1 lie " She added.

" Okay let's go! " Jun said.

" I'll go first, I failed one of my subjects this semester, I once cheated on an exam, I got a perfect score in one of my exams " June said.

" Of course it's the first one " you said.

You all laughed, you all drank and kept on playing the game but until Dahyun suggested turning the topic of it into the explicit once for excitement. It's Dahyun's turn.

" I already experienced anal sex, My favorite position is dog style, I had sex with someone in this room already "

The room went silent for a second and tension builds up with Dahyun removing her blue top revealing her silky white skin with her white tube.

" Is it the second one? " You said.

" yes you're correct" Dahyun seductively answered.

" Let's change the game, let us do truth or dare but the one that the bottle will point will be the one to ask the other two and will decide if they do truth or dare " Jun said.

*bottle pointed at Dahyun

" I'll pick the truth, have both of you ever thought of having sex with me? " Dahyun said.

" Yes " both of you answered.

You and Jun looked at each other and decided to take the opportunity to gang up on Dahyun and take advantage of her.

*bottle spins *points at Jun

" I dare Y/N to kiss any part of Dahyun's body that is not covered by clothes for 30 seconds "

" Hey oppa that's not fair hahaha " Dahyun protests with laughter.

You then kissed her silky shoulders, Dahyun's hand leaned into yours aswell. You then fondled her thighs that made her moan in her breaths.

" Time's up! " Jun shouted.

You spun the bottle and it pointed on you.

" I dare you Jun to do the same "

Jun quickly reached onto Dahyun's neck licking and kissing each of them with Dahyun holding his head.

" ~ughh ~mhhh ~mhhh " Dahyun moaned as she was being taken advantage by her friends.

" Times up, here's the bottle Dahyun, you spin it " you said.

*bottle spins * points at Dahyun

" I chose dare, I dare both of you to do the same exact thing to me at the same time "

You and Jun came closer to Dahyun and then kissed Dahyun's shoulders and neck. Dahyun held both of your shoulders while moaning.

" ~~ughh, mmhhh~ fuckkk "

One thing led to another, taking advantage of Dahyun and her letting it all happen, letting her friends do nasty things to her and enjoying the lewd environment.

" I dare Jun and Dahyun to french kiss for a minute "

" I dare Y/N to suck Dahyun's boobs while she's on top for 1 minute "

" I dare Jun to fondle Dahyun's boobs "

" I dare Y/N and Dahyun to french kiss for 2 minutes"

" I dare Y/N and Jun to suck bot of my boobs at the same time while I play with myself " Dahyun seductively dared.

This was the last straw for both Jun and you to finally ignore the game and fuck Dahyun as you see her finger her clit while both of you suckles into her tits.

You shove Dahyun's hand and replace it with yours, now you're the one fingering Dahyun. She bit her fingers while her other hand is strangling your hair due to pleasure.

Jun saw this opportunity to take Dahyun's mouth and deep tongue kiss her. Dahyun moaned in Jun's mouth as your long thick fingers latched inside her pussy tickling her insides.

" Fuck, are you always this horny Dahyun?" Jun asked.

" No, it's just I want to try having a hoe phase ughhh~~ but I don't want to fuck with strangers " Dahyun exclaimed.

" So now, you're our hoe " you said.

" Yess yess, fuck me please I'll be your free use slut " she said before pulling your for a deep kiss.

You then removed your pants and started fucking Dahyun as she ask.

" I'll be fucking you first, hoe " you said.

" Yesss, fuck me with your long thick cock Y/N "

" Let me in too, Dahyun suck my dick" Jun said before giving Dahyun his cock.

~mhhhhh mhhhh ~ughhhh!!

Moans fill the room as you bang Dahyun while she gives Jun a head.

" Hey Dahyun I'll cum inside "

" Yess yess, please cum inside me babyyy fuckk " she said before taking Jun's dick deep into her throat.

You plunged your dick as deep as you can making Dahyun choke into Jun's dick and bend her back.

" Hey it's my turn to fuck your pussy "

You watched as your best friends fuck each other on your bed, thinking of your relationship you never knew that this would happen but you're not complaining. You get to fuck Dahyun that obviously is getting hit on by many guys in your school.

" I'm cumming babyy "

" Yess babyy cum inside me too! Yes make me your slut! Fuck!! "

You cleaned up the mess on the floor, as the two laid down on your bed. After cleaning your floor, you laid too making Dahyun sandwiched between the two of you.

" Hey, I want to try being fuck with my both holes " Dahyun said.

" Do you want to try fucking me at the same time ? " She added.

No time wasted, you quickly pulled Dahyun's legs and you spit into her asshole, Jun then positioned himself and aligned his dick into her pussy. Both of you plunged your cocks at the same time and started banging her from both sides. Dahyun shouted from pain and immense pleasure as she is being stimulated from both of her g spots in her ass and in her pussy.

" OHHH GOODD PLEASE DON'T STOP! FUCKKK I'M GONNA LOSE IT "

Dahyun trembles as two thick cocks enter her holes, Jun suckles her boobs while you suck into her shoulders and neck.

Dahyun squirted all over your bed and limped on the bed like a vegetable but the two of you kept on fucking her until you cum.

Dahyun loses all her energy and can't even moan after reaching her climax. You just both filled her holes with semen as she was passed out with drool and a horny smile on her face.

After the long night you finally cleaned the room and changed the wet bed into a new one, Jun went home and you got to fuck Dahyun again in the morning.

Dahyun is now your free use hoe, Jun and you take turns into fucking her. Sometimes in the school toilet or club room where one will be on watch while the other fucks Dahyun. The three of you were best friends outside but fucks each other every chance you get. Dahyun gladly lets her body be used by the two of you and sometimes being bold enough to let another girl come in every now and then for a foursome.

[figthoughts]

random sam and dean headcanons *ೃ༄

⭑ sam winchester has an emotional support water bottle. probably one of the big 2L ones. dean often threatens to hit him with it.

⭑ dean winchester hates the taste of toothpaste. but loves peppermint gum. sam prefers spearmint.

⭑ dean winchester uses his brother’s toothbrush from time to time. he doesn’t care. but sam does. a lot.

⭑ sam winchester prefers his hair long because he likes the motion of tucking it behind his ears.

⭑ dean winchester once tried wearing eyeliner. john winchester hated it.

⭑ sam winchester has never smoked a cigarette.

⭑ sam and dean winchester are both right-handed, although both ambidextrous when it comes to handling weaponry. dean sometimes wishes he was left-handed.

⭑ dean winchester thinks his nose is funny-looking. it’s the first thing he sees in the mirror.

⭑ sam winchester loves tofu. dean hates it with a fiery passion.

⭑ dean winchester never replaces the toilet paper when he finishes the roll.

⭑ sam winchester used to collect bugs as a kid. his favourite bug is still a stick insect.

⭑ dean winchester hates beanies.

⭑ sam winchester often absentmindedly cracks his fingers. dean tells him it’s disgusting, that it’s unnatural.

⭑ sam winchester was going to get a tattoo during his time at stanford, but decided against it when he saw the needle.

⭑ dean winchester likes people laying on top of him.

A/N: these are the most stupid and random headcanons i could come up with LOL i love making stupid posts like this

[shuadotcom]

Main Dish | HJS (M)

☐ Summary: When lunch ends up being inedible, Joshua has to pick something else to eat.

☐ Pairing: Joshua x Afab!Reader

☐ Genres & AUs: Smut, fluff, established relationship!au, absolutely porn without plot

☐ Rating: 18+ (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED)

☐ Warnings: Profanity, cunnilingus, fingering, dirty talk, pet names (baby, baby girl, sweetheart, honey, good girl), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting

☐ Words: 3.2k

☐ Note: This fic is brought to you by my lack of cooking skills and my insatiable need for Joshua. It was also written for @kpopsblackcreatorsociety Bon Voyage Bingo event! The bingo square/prompt for this fic is camping.

Thank you @horanghater for being my beta ily 🥰

☐ Net Tag: @kflixnet

“Please don’t go off, please don’t go off, please do-”

BEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEP

“Goddamnit!” Working as fast as possible, you grab the pan from the hot stove top, removing it from the heat. The blare of the smoke detector rings out through the apartment and you have to act quickly to open all the nearby windows, waving away the smoke in the air with the dish towel. 

Once the smoke mostly clears and the alarms have subsided, you survey the scene in front of you. Grumbling in frustration you eye the now burnt tofu on the stovetop and let out a disappointed sigh. You had just wanted to cook something fun and new for your boyfriend. He’s been camping with his friends for the past week and you figure he would appreciate a home-cooked meal but, as usually happens with you in the kitchen, it turned out to be a disaster. 

You weren’t a cook by any means, but you knew how to get by with very basic skills. Boiling eggs, making stove-top ramen, and using the air fryer slash toaster oven you had begged for on your last birthday. 

All of the essentials of cooking. 

Tonight, the plan was originally to try a new pan-fried tofu recipe you saw on TikTok because it looked yummy. Instead of looking like the wonderfully golden-fried nuggets that they were supposed to resemble, all that sits in the pan in front of you now are uneven little pieces of charcoal. 

Great. Wonderful. Amazing.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen, gnawing at a hangnail in distress, you didn’t even take notice of your boyfriend watching you from the entrance of the room, admiring how cute you looked in your little lounge clothes and apron. His entrance had been drowned out by the blaring of the smoke alarms.

“Don’t chew on your nails, honey, it’s not good for you.”

Joshua’s voice is much louder than the music you are playing from your phone on the counter and you nearly leap into the air when you hear him.

“Jesus, Shua! You scared the shit out of me!” Clutching your chest, you reach over and pause the sound from your phone.

He chuckles as he approaches you, wrapping his arms around your waist and drawing you in for a hug. 

“Sorry, baby. I couldn’t help it.” He apologizes, but the smirk on his face shows he’s not really that sorry.

Joshua places a kiss and your waiting lips and your annoyance at being jump-scared fades. He smells like outside and a little bit like sweat, but underneath that, he still has his usual warm, homey scent that belongs only to him.

You let him take your breath away a little while longer, arms wrapping around his neck to bring him closer. He rests his head against yours when you pull away, his eyes tired but still sparkling down at you.

“How was your guys' camping trip?”

“Well, Mingyu found a spider in his tent and tore the whole thing down trying to get out, Soonyoung got sunburnt and fell into the lake, and Vernon forgot his allergy medicine and spent all week sneezing.”

“So the usual shenanigans?”

With a chuckle, Joshua nods, looking you up and down. “Basically, but I’m having a much better time now that I’m back here with you.” He leans down to kiss your forehead and you still let yourself get flustered by his sweet words, even after three years together. “And what’s going on in here?” He asks when he finally pulls away, eyes looking over your head at the charred remains of your lunch.

“Nothing, just me fucking up in the kitchen again.” Pouting, you cross your arms, wincing as Joshua steps up to the counter, inspecting what’s remaining of the tofu.

“Ah baby, they don’t look that bad…” He uses the chopsticks you left nearby to poke at a piece, raising it to his face and sniffing it.

“Shua, don’t-” Before you can stop him, he pops it into his mouth, chewing extra slowly. Your boyfriend, always so sweet to you and considerate of your feelings, looks like he’s in physical pain as he crunches the food, his nose wrinkling with each shift of his jaw. With a sigh you walk over and grab a sheet of paper towel, holding it up to his mouth. “Spit it out.”

“It doesn’t taste terrible…” he mumbles between chews, eyebrows furrowing as he does.

“Joshua, just spit it out!” At your insistence he does, expression apologetic.

Joshua watches you take the rest of the tofu and throw it away, shoulders slumping in defeat. He moves across the kitchen to stand behind you, wrapping you in his arms. 

“Don’t be upset, baby. It’s just some tofu.”

“But I fucked up lunch for you! I just wanted to make you a homemade meal since you’ve been eating over a campfire all week.” Joshua coos at you, pulling you tighter against him.

“Aw, sweetheart, you didn’t have to do all this in the first place. I think we both know that you would’ve been better off ordering something. There’s a reason I do most of the cooking, remember?” He laughs, his tone teasing.

Gasping, you spin in his hold, round eyes staring up at him as you pout for what feels like the twentieth time tonight. “Joshie, are you saying I can’t cook?!”

Faltering, Joshua’s eyes dart back and forth, strategically planning his next words. 

“I - I didn’t mean that you can’t cook, Y/n. I just -”

“I’m kidding, Shua. Of course, I know I can’t cook.” He’s clearly relieved, rolling his eyes at your giggles. 

Joshua leans down to pepper your face with kisses, holding you close, ignoring your feeble attempt to escape his grasp.

“I guess it’s a good thing then that I wasn’t even thinking about what I’d eat for lunch.” He places a final kiss on your cheek before pulling back to gaze at you.

“You weren’t?”

“Of course not. How could I even begin to think about lunch when all I could think about was tasting you again?” Joshua smirks at you, laughing when you scoff, your turn to roll your eyes at him.

“How did I know you wouldn’t even be a little bit subtle about wanting to have sex as soon as you got back?” 

“Because you know how addicted I am to you and how much I think about you.” You and Joshua are chest to chest, his hands tracing your body, fingertips pressing lightly into your curves.

Joshua’s voice has already lowered an octave, eyes flickering to your lips. You’re in no way surprised at how quickly Joshua turned the situation from silly and domestic to horny, but you’re not bothered in the slightest, more than happy to fuck your boyfriend again. A week has been far too long of a time to go without Joshua’s cock inside of you.

“Oh, so you were thinking of me on your trip? Thought you’d be too busy grilling meat and playing games with the boys.” 

“Baby, I’m always thinking about you, but especially when we’re not together.” Joshua ducks down, his nose brushing yours. 

“And what about me were you thinking about exactly?” You whisper, holding your breath as you await his next words.

“Well, I was thinking all about how sweet your cunt is and how I couldn’t wait to come home and devour you.”

Somehow you hadn’t registered that Joshua walked you back until the counter pressed into your lower back, trapping you between it and Joshua’s firm body.

“Hmm…then I guess lunch is served whenever you’re ready to eat,” Tilting your head up, your lips brush against Joshua’s. You shift your leg forward, knee brushing against the crotch of his sweatpants. A grunt slips out of him when you make contact with his half-hard cock and he surges forward, lips meeting yours in a feverish kiss. 

Joshua’s soft lips move against yours, his hands cupping your face to keep you close. Your hands trail up Joshua’s thick arms, tracing every ridge and dip of muscle. You’ve never been shy about how much you enjoy the new gym rat era he and a few of his friends have entered, making sure to be very obvious about the way you appreciate the new muscle he’s worked on gaining. He also doesn’t hide just how much he loves how the bulkier version of him turns you on, your boyfriend flexing for you so the muscles tense and loosen a few times under your fingertips.

Those same strong arms move to hold your waist, holding onto you as he swallows every pant and tiny whine that you let out. Joshua’s tongue wraps around yours and sucks, the kiss descending into lewd territory as Joshua grinds against your thigh still wedged between his legs.

The kiss feels like it goes on forever, which is in no way a complaint. Joshua’s hands wander all over your body, hands skating down to grab at your bare thighs and up to your ass, grabbing a handful to bring your hips impossibly closer. It’s almost embarrassing how wet you are, feeling your cotton panties clinging to you with each shuffle of the fabric. 

Joshua seems to read your mind as he finally moves a hand under your apron and into the waistband of your shorts and panties, his finger grazing your pussy making you jolt and buck into his hand.

“Would you look at that? You’re fucking drenched just from my kisses?” To illustrate his point, he pulls his fingers from your shorts, holding the wet digits up to showcase your juices to you both.

“Fuck, yeah, I need you so badly. I missed you so much.”

Joshua hums, popping his fingers into his mouth, eyes closing as he sucks them clean, savoring your flavor. The scene is enough to have you rubbing your thighs together, easily recalling just how good his tongue feels when it’s on you.

“Mmm, I missed you too, baby. And speaking of, I’m starving, so I think I’m ready to eat now.”

Joshua plants his hands on your hips and turns you around so his front is pressed against your back, walking with you out of the kitchen and around to the island, leaving kisses on the back of your neck as you go. When you reach the side of the island that you usually sit to eat at, Joshua’s nimble fingers untie your apron and lift it over your head, tossing it to the floor. Your shorts and panties come next as he slides the fabric down your legs, letting them pool at your feet.

Your boyfriend makes a sound of appreciation at the sight of your bare ass, big hands squeezing your cheeks before landing a firm smack on one of them. He helps you up onto the island, sitting you near the edge. Joshua pulls up a stool in front of you, spreading your legs wide, and letting out a low whistle.

“Look at all of this, so messy and sloppy all for me.” Joshua leans forward and places kisses on the inside of your thighs, inhaling your scent as he does, small moans rumbling in his throat.

A few whimpers slip out of you with each kiss over your hot skin, Joshua’s breath hitting your core only serving to make you wetter. Joshua loves eating you out, always talking about how good you taste and how much he loves the way you smell when you’re dripping for him.

He doesn’t leave you waiting for long this time (another thing Joshua loves is to tease you, but he seems to want you bad enough to spare you this time) as his tongue finally licks at your clit, the muscle flattening and adding much-needed pressure. 

A squeal of Joshua’s name tumbles out of you as he licks a fat stripe from your hole to your clit - once, twice, three times, each go making you twitch underneath him. Your legs almost snap shut, but his firm grip keeps them open.

“Nuh-uh, keep your legs open, baby girl. I haven’t even started eating my meal.”

Your eyes stay trained on him as his hands grab the back of your thighs, pushing them toward you. You lie on your back in a more comfortable position, hands trembling as they hold onto the front of your shirt in anticipation.

“I’ll never get tired of eating you out, you know that? Never get tired of how fucking sweet you taste on my tongue.” To further his point, Joshua’s thick tongue slips into your pussy, lapping at your gummy walls, letting his nose brush against your clit.

“F-fuck!” Your hands dart down, fingers threading through his brunette strands, tugging at the root as he tongue fucks you on the kitchen island. 

Every grunt and groan that Joshua lets out is deep, deep enough that the vibrations can be felt throughout your whole body. You can’t help but thrash underneath him, loud obscene slurping sounds fill the room as he works. Joshua’s hands keep your thighs pinned down, preventing you from nearly falling off the counter while his face presses closer to your cunt. 

He eats you out like a man starved, a week without your pussy proving to be much too long away for him. The tip of his tongue is still buried inside of you, flicking at your walls at an almost impossible speed. 

Fire begins to quickly pool in the pit of your stomach, nails digging into Joshua’s scalp which only spurs him on more.

“Shua, b-baby so good!”

“Mmph?” You can’t quite hear what he says but it sounds like it has a questioning tilt at the end.

“‘M gonna cum!”

That must’ve been what he was getting at because he picks up the pace and moves his hold on you to the sides of your thighs and makes you wrap your legs around his head. Joshua uses this new angle to force you to rock your hips against his face, leaning into you so far that when you glance down, all you see is the top of his hair which you’re still holding onto for dear life. 

Rolling your hips you go with his movement, desperately riding his face. Joshua lets you, his tongue drilling into you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

When you do cum, you stiffen almost painfully as heat spreads through your body, your thighs squeezing around him like a vice, holding him in place. Your boyfriend happily continues lapping at your sensitive core, murmurs of praise accompanying his coos of delight.

“So fucking tasty,” Joshua sighs as he pulls back, finally taking in air through his mouth. He glances at you, watching your chest heave as you catch your breath. Without a second thought, with your hole still clenching around nothing, Joshua shoves one of his thick fingers into you, drawing a gasp out of you. 

“Shua!?”

He has the audacity to blink up at you, faux innocence on his face along with your juices still shining on the bottom half of his face.

“What? I want seconds.” He shrugs, adding a second finger which has you cursing, senses on overdrive. Joshua’s plush lips are back on your clit, sucking the nub into his mouth, ignoring the way your nails dig into his hair again, tugging on his soft locks. 

“Ngh, Josh-Joshua! Please!”

“Please what, baby?” He mumbles, lips still suckling on your clit, your legs quivering as they rest on his shoulders. His fingers have no trouble finding that soft squishy spot inside of you that has your eyes crossing, the squelching sound of your wetness ringing in your ears.

“I’m - I just…” You trail off when your boyfriend curls his fingers, the overstimulation derailing your train of thought as you feel another orgasm hurdling toward you. Joshua smirks up at you, loving the way he can literally watch as your brain short-circuits for him - because of him.

His lips go back to your clit, suctioning around the bud. His fingers delve into you faster, your velvety walls hugging his digits, coating them in more of your sticky arousal. Sweat beads at your hairline and tears prick your eyes as Joshua throws you into another orgasm, electricity coursing through your veins and a choked, desperate cry of Joshua’s name tumbling from your lips. 

“Yeah, just like that, good girl.” He purrs against your overworked pussy, slowly dragging his fingers out of you. You whimper at the loss, only for the sound to be replaced by a loud wail, Joshua’s slick fingers rubbing rough, frantic circles against your clit. 

“Shit! Fuck, Shua I’m - fuuuck!”

“Come on baby girl, one more. Make a mess all over the fucking counter.” The pads of his fingers drag against your clit, body arching as you flail your hands, scrambling across the marble of the counter looking for something to ground you.

The sensation borders on painful, the sensitivity too much to handle as the pleasure builds and your muscles spasm. When you cum this time, it knocks the wind out of you, your eyes rolling back, your mouth open in a silent scream. Joshua leans down, eyes watching with glee as you squirt all over his hand and arm, getting your mixture of arousal on his shirt. He even cranes his head down, mouth open to drink up the remaining spurts of your release.

He rubs lazy circles over your puffy clit, letting you ride out the rest of your orgasm until your hoarse voice begs him to stop and he does, but not before wiping up as much of your wetness as he can on his fingers and popping them into his mouth once again.

“Fucking hell, Shua!” You huff out when you’ve finally sucked enough air back into your lungs.

“What? I told you I was starving.” His cocky grin earns him a half-hearted kick to his shoulder using the minuscule amount of energy you have remaining. He catches your leg, placing a soft kiss on your ankle before he straightens up and sits back to admire your ruined state.

“Are you going to help me up or leave me here for the rest of the day?” 

“I should eat all of my meals in the kitchen, but I suppose I can help you down.” Joshua laughs at your half-hearted threat to kick him again and offers his hands to you. He helps you sit upright and slowly slides you off of the island. 

When you’re back on shaky feet, you move to pick your bottoms up, but he stops you by pulling you against him.

“Wh-”

“Oh, you don’t need those. I’m gonna order some lunch for us, but I need dessert before it gets here.” He presses his hips forward, his rock-hard dick pressing against your ass. Joshua once again envelops you in his warm embrace, lips skirting against the shell of your ear. “That okay with you, baby?”

Between the orgasms he pushed out of you only minutes ago and the dip in his voice, wetness collects between your legs again, pussy clenching at the thought of Joshua fucking you for real.

“That’s more than okay with me,” you rasp, clearing your throat. “I’m feeling pretty empty myself and am dying to be stuffed.”

[loryn-art]

Last panels for my Wakfu Moder AU series ->

I don't know if I'll ever write something about this AU but I love it more and more. Probably some scenes will be made into short comics, but I'm afraid of spoiling too much of the story that way…

For now I think I'll just make some character sheets, probably more about the Eliatrope Goddess as a human form ? Or more about the dragons ? Tell me what you want to know !

Qilby :

Given age - 40~ / Real age - +250

Older than Glip, but still looks younger, does he have special abilities/powers because he's the first born ? (He also has the ability to remember all of his past lives here.)

Tall.

I couldn't find anything that looked like what I really wanted for Shinonome's form, so I went with a sort of mix of different birds for her. (I'm probably going to change her appearance soon anyway...)

Same with Qilby's profession, I guess he's like a very famous scientist but prefers to stay in the shadows. He's like a consultant who works with a lot of different scientists and historians, and gives them his opinion and knowledge when they need it.

Spends his time travelling to various archaeological sites around the world. (Portals are SO convenient for this...)

His apartment is a real cabinet of curiosities filled with books and all sorts of things he brings back from his travels.

He's also supposed to smoke e-cigarettes, but I'm not sure about what flavor, I want something that reminds him of his home planet.

Has a LOTS of diplomas.

Left-handed.

Fluent in several languages.

Yugo :

Given age 20~ / Real age - 20 (how is this possible ? I'm still looking for an explanation...)

Very athletic and popular in his faculty~

Has the same group of friends for years now, they take care of each other like a family.

The Tofu key chain is one of Amalia's gift because he loves birds.

I have no idea what he could actually study :p Any suggestions ?

Skating.

Wears a cat beanie to hide his wings.

Adamai takes the form of a white wolf-like dog, with blue eyes. And a WEIRD smile.

Has tons of pictures of him and his friends~

A collection of beanies. (Most of them are actually gifts)

These are the very first drafts for my Au so please keep in mind that many things may change. I'll probably post something about the Eliatrop goddess next week, but her story is still a mystery to me… I have some ideas but nothing really solid at the moment.

*Returns in the shadows*

[asexualsinner]

More Ghoul Headcanons: Kitchen Edition

Mountain

Hides his snacks on the top shelf to avoid the others stealing them

Has to use a recipe when cooking

Likes hearty meals like stews

Is an excellent shadow, will assist any of the other ghouls or Copia when asked.

Likes to just be in the kitchen

Is the embodiment of a pioneer woman mom

Loves to bake

CanNOT handle spice

Thinks cayenne is spicy

Favorite food is chili and drink is tea

Favorite snacks are fig newtons (yes he knows that they're made with wasps, he thinks it's funny)

Carries epi pens on him for the others

Rain

Is obsessed with making smoothies

Isn't allowed to use the stove after using water on a grease fire

Nearly burned half the abbey down

It's fine, he prefers salads anyway

Do not trust this ghoul with a knife he will find a way to hurt himself by accident

Is just a disaster when in the kitchen

Favorite food is smoked salmon thanks to Dew

Fancy ✨bitch✨ that puts mint and fruits in his water

Is the only ghoul to like Kale

Has a high spice tolerance

Takes forever to do the dishes bc he'll play in the water instead

Dew/Sodo

Favorite snacks are seaweed sheets and Takis

His taste buds went "weird" after his transition

He can't decide what he likes anymore, spicy? Fish? So he decided on both. Sometimes neither

Loves to smoke foods, begs Mountain for dried wood flavors for it

Dew learning to smoke properly was heavy trial and error, some things were edible some were very much not

His favorite changes weekly, but ATM it's smoked veggies and tofu

Is a big garbage ghoul, will throw everything together on a plate and eat it

Drinks coffee but doesn't like energy drinks

Has moderate spice tolerance

Will try anything once

Surprisingly one of the better cooks in the pack

Is lactose intolerant. No this doesn't stop him. Why would it?

Doesn't need a recipe, cooks from memory or guesswork

Has everything labeled and dated

Swiss

NO spice tolerance

Tries to compete with Dew, Cumulus and Rain and it never ends well

Loves comfort food!!! Give this ghoul Macncheese or pierogies and he's happy

Can follow boxed instructions or strict recipes but tries to "improve" them

Survives off of Redbull

Doesn't know the difference between a chef's knife and a paring knife

Thinks bc he's a multi ghoul he can pull pans out of the oven without mitts - has been treated for burns multiple times

Hates doing the dishes

His go to snacks are gummy worms or jerky

Will eat expired food thinking it'll be fine - it never is

Is a 3am fridge raider

Phantom/Aeon

Loves pancakes, absolute favorite food though is fettuccine Alfredo. Has to be fettuccine noodles, spaghetti isn't the same

Has texture issues with food

Absolutely hates ground meats, the texture is bad

Has a sweet tooth

Is a surprisingly decent cook, can manage without recipes

Baking is beyond him

Mistook baking soda for sugar once and Mountain banned him from baking ever again

Doesn't like eggs

Is allergic to peanut butter

Favorite snacks are Oreos or rice crackers

Enjoys cranberry juice

Can't have caffeine - gives him headaches

Aether

One of the better cooks in the pack

Is one of the only ones that can finish the dishes without distractions

Is allergic to citrus fruits

Has an app on his phone to scan packages for ingredients

Will practically drink soy sauce he loves it so much

Favorite snack is cucumbers and Italian dressing

Prefers strawberry jam over grape jelly

Doesn't like seafood

Favorite food is deer chili - shares this with Mountain

Wears gloves when cooking to avoid cross contamination

Cumulus

SPICE QUEEN

Has done every spice challenge possible, downs it like it's nothing

Like Swiss, can read box instructions but don't trust her past that

Has burnt frozen pizza before

Favorite snacks are tortillas and ghost pepper salsa

Eats jalapenos like candy

Needless to say she terrifies others

Favorite food is homemade ramen - she begs the others to make it for her

Package ramen isn't the same

Likes to do the dishes and help out in the kitchen

Does need a step stool however

Favorite drink is hazelnut coffee

Aurora

Junk food junkie

Favorite snacks are Skittles and kettle cooked potato chips

Prefers vitamin water over regular water

Likes to make quick easy meals like grilled cheese etc

Eats at the oddest times, breakfast is 2pm and dinner has been at 4am for her

Leaves her dishes in the sink like a gremlin

Has been banned from eating in the living room

Gets easily distracted while cooking

If she puts her mind to it, can make really elaborate dishes for the pack

However she makes a huge mess of the kitchen when doing so

Cirrus

Can identify spices/ingredients after tasting things once

Is also lactose intolerant, takes lactaid frequently

Loves Korean BBQ

Likes differing temperatures (cold food that's spicy, mints, etc)

Loves blackberries and celery

Is a very good cook, can make most things after trying them once

Her favorite drink is bubble tea

Has medium spice tolerance, like spicy flavor rather than the heat

Would rather dry and put away the dishes than wash them

Has a massive sweet tooth like phantom

[bob-artist]

Into the Smoke comes back with the chapter 2 cover in TWO DAYS and I'm so excited!!!

I've been quiet on tumblr this past month for a couple reasons! First, I had gallbladder surgery in December, and since it was the only vacation I was going to get, I decided to go all out and be off social media during recovery. I think I needed it!

For those of you who didn't hear the story, it all started in November of 2023 when I tried to save money during inflation by replacing a lot of meat in my diet with tofu. Turns out that's a BAD IDEA if you have a not-yet-diagnosed soy allergy AND not-yet-diagnosed gallstones! Because when you eat something that makes your entire body swell up and your gallbladder is already full of junk, you get gallbladder attacks and gallbladder attacks and more gallbladder attacks, and then your gallbladder gets a ton of scar tissue and everything inside you gets inflamed and you stop being able to digest lots and lots of things. (Well, your mileage may vary, but that's what happened to me.)

Anyway, after $2K in diagnostic work and $7K in actual surgery costs, I'm very very sad and panicked to have had to spend that, but also VERY HAPPY because I went from being able to eat almost nothing to being able to eat *everything* I was eating before the Big Tofu Disaster.

Anyway, I kept meaning to post again on tumblr with an update, but the influx of new account follows was a little overwhelming. But in the meantime, I hope there are at least some real humans still here and waiting for ITS chapter 2! After working sick for over a year, I'll be working extremely hard to make up for lost time and get this next chapter out. So I hope y'all enjoy it!

Also, I've had my ask box closed because of the aforementioned bots, but I'm going to tentatively reopen it in case anyone has any actual human questions about me or Into the Smoke! (Cross your fingers that I don't have to close it again super soon...)

And again, we're back THIS WEDNESDAY!!! Keep an eye out!!

And if you want to give chapter 1 a reread, you can do that at intothesmokecomic.com!

[ladymorghul]

My Brackwood modern AU head cannons:

Vet Aeron - Davos routinely comes home to find that there’s an injured penguin in the bathtub and an orphaned fox resting by the fireplace.

Artist Davos - he makes really intense metalwork sculptures

Vegan Aeron - Davos struggling through various tofu dishes that he hates because he’s so down bad for that boy

Virgin Davos - his jealousy hits its peak when he finds out that Aeron has slept with someone before him

Aeron being in a bible study club with Aemond but really they just hang out, smoke and complain about their families.

More than one person has mistaken Aeron for a girl. Davos finds this hilarious

Davos saving all the cute animal videos he finds on TikTok to send to Aeron.

Epileptic Aeron and Davos going from freaking out and having no idea what to do when he has a seizure to being fully prepared and not letting anyone else help

oh these are so cute!!

Vet Aeron - Davos routinely comes home to find that there’s an injured penguin in the bathtub and an orphaned fox resting by the fireplace.

one thing about vet aeron is there's never a dull day with him and his small army of rescues. davos groans and acts annoyed sometimes but he does find it cute.

Artist Davos - he makes really intense metalwork sculptures

love this. can totally see davos as an artist, including sculpting. you know those hands know how to work! 👀

Vegan Aeron - Davos struggling through various tofu dishes that he hates because he’s so down bad for that boy

bless him, he's so far gone for aeron that even though he likes eating meat he'll try what aeron's eating and they do find stuff that davos really likes a lot. aeron slowly almost completely converts him. the blackwoods aren't happy with a bracken converting their boy! lol

Virgin Davos - his jealousy hits its peak when he finds out that Aeron has slept with someone before him

tbh one of my headcanons is that aeron was aware of his sexuality earlier than davos so he did experience a bit more than him (whether he had good or bad experiences, or both, it's up to the reader) before meeting davos and it's aeron that sometimes guides davos towards what feels best for both of them.

Aeron being in a bible study club with Aemond but really they just hang out, smoke and complain about their families.

it's so funny to imagine cute aeron sitting next to aemond who looks completely unhinged to everyone around them.

as a helaemond i have to insert this joke here but aemond just saying "fuck she's really beautiful" with aeron saying "dude that's your sister"

More than one person has mistaken Aeron for a girl. Davos finds this hilarious

it's not his fault he's a pretty boy!!

Davos saving all the cute animal videos he finds on TikTok to send to Aeron.

i just know davos is the type to send 20 tiktoks and make sure aeron watches them all

Epileptic Aeron and Davos going from freaking out and having no idea what to do when he has a seizure to being fully prepared and not letting anyone else help

davos learning how to take care of him when he has a seizure? aeron knowing he can count on davos to help? oof i love it

[hotnbloodied]

Yan!Xiao x Reader

(Note: This is just a short piece on Xiao, I wanted to challenge myself by writing a character that I find hard to write.)

!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.

TW: Unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship, obsession

!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!!

Ever since he rescued you that one time you couldn’t stop thinking about him. One day you were with your family coming home to Liyue from your trip to Mondstat. Your carriage got stopped and surrounded by bandits. Next thing anyone knew there was a gust of wind and all the bandits were passed out. At least that's what your parents would say, but you saw someone. Someone with dark hair and tealed tips wearing a yaksha mask and donning a spear. You knew that it was Adeptus Xiao. You decided that you were going to research leads, clues and anything that would bring you closer meeting him face to face. It wasn’t even a year in until it seemed like the Adeptus himself was tired of your persistence, opting to show himself before you to hopefully stop your incessant digging for information regarding him.

It happened one night when you stood at the top of the Wangshu Inn under the full moon. “Hey you.” You turned to be face to face with the Adeptus that saved you less than a year ago. “It’s you!” You said. “You caused a ruckus looking for me after all this time, what do you want?” Your face flushed, "I just wanted to thank you for saving me and my parents from those bandits, about a year ago." “Is that it?” “N-no!” You stutter, “I also would like to be friends?” “...I don’t need friends,” was the last thing he said before disappearing into smoke. “Wait!” But he was already gone.

From then on you were a regular at the Wangshu Inn, when you stayed there you went to the top of the inn where you last saw the Adeptus and just talked about your day or what’s been going on in your life. You did the same thing for around two years until one day you were in an extra somber state. “This will be the last time I’m able to visit,” you said to the verse, “my family says I’m getting too old to be continuously doing something silly like this. So this is goodbye.” You weren’t sure after all this time if the Adeptus ever heard your words but in fact he has, every single word. Your everyday ramblings eventually grew to be a comfort for him as much as almond tofu was. But now that he might be losing it, it made something well up inside him.

When you awoke you weren't in the inn, in the single bed room with the paper windows like you remembered but in a huge bed in a spacious room. The windows were large and let the golden sunlight pour in. The room was nicely furnished with wardrobes, desk, chairs and even a sofa. You looked in the wardrobe and found your items along with full rows of new clothing. When you dressed and collected your items you slowly opened the door to leave the room, walking out, you noticed you were in a big manor. The floorboards creaked while exploring the manor, it was so nice and or ornate. It almost felt like it was new, like it was recently decorated and furnished. When you finally found the front entrance and left the manor you realized that you were on some sort of floating landmass in the sky. You gripped your bag as you looked over the edge, you were astonished to say the least, “what is this?” “This is our home from now on.” Startled, you turned to be face to face with the Adeptus. “Home?” He slowly walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Isn’t this what you wanted my dear? From now on, no one will be able to get in between us anymore.”

[octuscle]

I just wanna be a dumb, dull teenager biker… not caring or thinking about anything, only having knowledge is bikes and not even being able to do simple maths, just riding, stinking and farting on my motorcycle….

Do you think you could make it happen? Thanks

Bloody hell! Do you have any idea what's going on here so close to the holidays? Read. The. Fucking. Manual! Select properties, define characteristics, activate. And if that's too much work for you, select one of the default settings. Here's a really cool one. 19 years old, well-trained, C-student throughout. Motorcycle fan. Here you go!

You can't get enough of the feeling of being in a motorcycle suit. Your bare, sweaty skin in tight nylon and leather. And then off you go on your racing bike, onto the highway and steel, leather and asphalt become one with you. It's not the first time that your jockstrap has gotten wet from precum while riding.

You and your bike get hungry. You pull out at the next rest stop. You fill up, take a piss and sit down in the diner. The waitress is on the ball. While the waitress takes your order, you take off your helmet and open your jacket. A gush of musky air comes out. You run your fingers through your long, sweaty locks. The waitress looks a little disgusted. And passes on your order.

Just as your salad with tofu and the cranberry spritzer are served, a group of truckers come in the door. The diner is full. There's only room at your table. Without asking, the four giants join you. The first one asks if that's your bike out there. A rarely stupid question, you are the only guest in motorcycle gear. Your mouth is full and you just nod. "1992 Fatboy?" asks the trucker. The baby is your pride and joy. You nod again. "Difficult bike, but I assume you have experience with the engine". You're still chewing, but you show your calloused and oil-smeared hands to prove it. Yes, your baby is not really reliable. But it's honest American steel. Not some crap from Japan, Italy or Germany. With your mouth full, you say that you used to have a Triumph. But nothing beats the machines from Milwaukee. And then you bite into your burger again. The second trucker orders a large portion of scrambled eggs and bacon, gives you a fist bump and says. "Damn right, buddy. America first!" You burp and confirm "America first!"

Half of your burger is hanging in your beard. You're still hungry. When the truckers' food arrives, you order a portion of the ribs. And another beer. You ask the guys if they want another one. The ribs are delicious. They are dripping with sauce. Your fingers are not only oily, but also covered in fat and sauce. You wipe them on your jeans and the hair on your belly. Your next round of beer is coming. You toast with an "America first", take a big gulp, look at each other and burp simultaneously. You like these guys. Big honest heroes of the highway. You pay for your meal at Lucy's and promise to come by again soon. You say goodbye to your friends and go out to smoke a cigar before continuing your journey. And you really need to piss. But you'd rather do that behind the shed.

Hehehe, you already know why you don't piss in the toilets. It doesn't take long for one of the truckers to join you. He doesn't smoke a cigar. But what's in his mouth is hardly any smaller

Preset found @neusatz-an-der-donau, later pic found @vareddman76

[shoku-and-awe]

Crispy Nashville Hot Tofu

Ingredients 1 (16-ounce) package extra firm tofu 3 tablespoons brown sugar 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon smoked paprika ½ teaspoon pepper ½ teaspoon salt ½ cup dill pickle juice 2 tablespoons nutritional yeast ½ teaspoon liquid smoke ¾ cup soy milk 2 tablespoons hot sauce ¾ cup all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder ½ cup vegetable oil 4 slices white bread ½ cup sliced dill pickles

Directions Press the tofu either by using a tofu press or by placing it into a shallow bowl and putting a flat plate on top, then stacking something heavy on top of the plate.

Let it sit for 20 minutes, then discard the water that has collected on the plate. Make the Nashville hot seasoning by combining the brown sugar, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, smoked paprika, pepper, and salt.

Make the tofu marinade by combining the pickle juice, nutritional yeast, liquid smoke, ¼ cup water, and 1 ½ tablespoons of the Nashville hot seasoning.

Slice the tofu into 8 slices (crosswise) and place into a container with a lid. Pour the marinade into the container and marinate for 1 hour, shaking a few times.

In a shallow bowl, combine the milk with the hot sauce.

In another shallow bowl combine the flour, 2 teaspoons of Nashville hot seasoning, and baking powder.

Dredge the tofu slices in the milk mixture then in the breading mixture, setting each dredged slice onto a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Add the oil to a skillet over medium-high heat. Place the tofu slices in the skillet and cook for 4 minutes on each side. Work in batches if necessary.

Add the leftover cooking oil to a glass bowl along with the remaining hot seasoning and stir to form a paste. Spread the seasoned paste over the tofu.

Serve the Nashville hot tofu with white bread and pickles.

[najia-cooks]

[ID: A sandwich on a ciabatta roll; a plate of tomato sliced and a glass of mint lemonade are in the background. End ID]

Tofu sandwich with garlic-lemon sauce

A sweet, savory, and well-spiced glaze clinging to fried, crispy tofu. The zest and brightness of garlic-lemon mayonnaise complement the depth of the glaze. A great breakfast sandwich or weekend lunch option when eaten with your choice of bread and toppings.

Recipe under the cut!

Patreon | Tip jar

Ingredients:

For the sandwiches:

4 ciabatta rolls, or other bread

Bean sprouts or other greens

For the tofu:

1 block (350g) extra firm tofu

2-3 Tbsp potato starch, or cornstarch

Oil to fry

For the tofu slurry:

2 scallions, sliced (optional)

2 Tbsp toasted sesame oil, or olive oil

2 Tbsp soy sauce

2 Tbsp light soy sauce

1/2 Tbsp light brown sugar

1 tsp sriracha or chili garlic sauce

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/2 tsp Sichuan pepper

Pinch ground fennel

Pinch ground sumac

Pinch ground cubeb pepper (Piper cubeba; kabab chini; كبابة صينى)

Pinch smoked paprika

1 Tbsp cornstarch

Cubeb berries may be found in the spice section of a south Asian grocery store, where they will be labelled "kabab chini." They are sometimes mistaken for allspice, but cubeb berries are smaller and more consistent in size, are darker in color, and have a slightly 'wrinkled' appearance. They have a pungent, camphorous, and sharp aroma. If you don't have any, you may replace them with equal parts black pepper and allspice; or a pinch of ground Indian black cardamom.

For the garlic mayo:

1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise

1 large clove garlic, grated

1 tsp lemon juice

1/4 tsp table salt

1/4 tsp black pepper

Water, if necessary

Instructions:

For the garlic mayo:

1. Mix all ingredients except water in a small mixing bowl. Add water or lemon juice until desired consistency is achieved. Taste and adjust salt and pepper.

For the marinade:

1. Pulverise scallion with salt in a mortar and pestle, and mix with other ingredients; or add all ingredients to a blender and combine.

For the tofu:

1. Drain tofu, wrap in a kitchen towel, and press under a flat, heavy object for 20-30 minutes.

2. If your block of tofu is particularly thick, slice it into two thinner slabs; then halve it widthwise to make four pieces. The tofu in the photo has only been halved widthwise to make two, thicker pieces.

3. Coat tofu in potato starch or cornstarch.

4. Heat 1/2" (1cm) of a neutral oil in a skillet on medium. Fry tofu slices, flipping once, until golden brown and crispy on both sides. Set aside.

5. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat (or remove the oil from the one you used earlier). Add tofu and marinade and cook, pushing the marinade onto the tofu slices and flipping occasionally, until marinade is clinging to the tofu.

To assemble:

1. Add cooked tofu to sandwiches along with greens, tomatoes, avocado, or sliced onion as desired. Top with garlic mayo.

[miserymerci]

<- Day 7: Recovery Day 9: Storm ->

Fluffy February Day 8: Smile - Baby’s Breath

@ // fluffyfebruary

Fandom: Lego Monkie Kid

Characters: MK and Sun Wukong (Sunburst Duo), Journey to the West Pilgrims

(Father-son, rocky first impressions, child monkey MK)

Summary: In an alternate universe, Sun Wukong comes face-to-face with the most daunting monster he has ever come across during his Journey to the West: the protector of an unheavenly peach tree.

The summer days were long and grueling.

The hours dribbled on like molasses, sugary sweet sweat sticky on their skin. It never stopped; only slowed and picked up again. To Sun Wukong, that was much, much worse than any constant weather. No thunderstorm could triumph over the discomfort of sweat through his dampening fur.

“I told you so,” said Wukong, so quietly and grumbly that he worried for a second that no one would hear.

.

.

.

“Shut up,” snapped Zhu Bajie.

Wukong grinned.

“I’m just saying that you wouldn’t be sizzling pork belly right now if we had agreed to sleep by day and travel by night,” he said. He pulled at his neckerchief and huffed.

“Well,” said Bajie, “ I’m smelling burning monkey hair.”

“Who’s fault is that !?”

“Disciples,” said Tripitaka, simply.

Wukong crossed his arms and pouted on his cloud as the day stretched on. It took five minutes for him to open his mouth again, and Sha Wujing, ever the mediator, rushed to speak first.

“Something nearby smells good.”

“…it’s char siu ,” said Wukong, dryly.

“OOH-KAY! You have been grating me all morning! Master, shouldn’t he get a penalty for this? Where is my justice?” asked Bajie, gesturing his rake in Wukong’s generally-annoying direction. “This monkey has no respect for me.”

“I have respect when you’re not being all high and mighty!”

“Master, now he’s being delusional. We should kick him out.”

“Request vetoed,” said Tripitaka, not looking back.

Ao Lie whinnied. The horse-dragon tilted his head off to the side and tossed his head up twice to the open air.

“Wujing is right, master,” he said, “something delicious is cooking nearby.”

Wukong’s nose crinkled. Past the group’s own sweaty stink and earthy dirt clinging to their clothes, he wasn’t sure how Lie or Wujing could smell anythi–!

Something rich and warm hit Wukong’s nose. It scuttled into his nostrils like some starved parasite and nested deep into his belly. His queasiness formed and twisted into the beginnings of rumbling, greedy, demanding hunger.

Wukong hurried to wipe the drool on his lips.

“Could be a trap,” he said, “everyone knows we’re going this way.”

“Could be,” agreed Tripitaka, but his eyes were glittering hopefully in the direction of rising smoke.

Wukong frowned, crossed his arms, and then said to Wujing, “How are our rations looking?”

Wujing sniffled. He swung over his bag to his belly and unclasped its buckle. The hard look in his eyes flattened into what could rival a sad, wet puppy. He winced, shrugged, and then pursed his lips.

“Alright then,” said Bajie, not needing a verbal answer, “I say we take a look. This is the fifth day in a row we’ll be eating tofu jerky, so I don’t think there’s anything we can lose.”

The group fell quiet for a moment. Wukong, in his heart, could feel all of them loudly thinking about all the possible things they could lose. Like their master, for one. And dignity, for another. The beginnings of bratty defiance was at the tip of his own tongue. In the end, everyone swallowed back any snarky reply.

“Let’s diverge, then. Do you think you can find us a path downwards?” said Tripitaka.

The smoke led the pilgrims through fir trees; spicy, sweet, and earthy. The firs, tall and proud, caught speckles of condensation and bubbled its visitors with thick air against stubborn lungs. Mud suckled the soles of their feet– sparsely, at first– until Lie completely tumbled down in a flurry of hooves and embarrassment.

Sympathetically, Wukong allowed Lie and their master to gain refuge on his own cloud, and Wukong took to the ground.

“You alright, piglet?” he called a quarter of an hour later.

Bajie didn’t reply. That would normally be welcomed, but right now was a special case. Wukong blinked, fought against the heavy sheen of moisture gathering on the lid of his eyes, and turned back.

“Pig?” he tried again.

“Shut up,” said Bajie. He was stumbling forward like a newborn goat, eyes set on the ground. “I’m saving my energy for more important things. None of them are you.”

“This is fun,” said Wujing, smilingly. He had taken off his shoes and had tied its laces snuggly to his side, webbed feet walking along the mud like it was nothing.

Wukong stared blankly at him, jealous.

Wujing perked up. At his excitement, Wukong couldn’t help but brighten too– any news from Wujing right now would be good news. “Brothers, we’re close. Just past this glade. I think there may be a creek nearby.”

“Thank goodness,” said Lie, picking the last of the leaves from his hanfu. He laughed, something he did often even in wind and rain.

They walked through the sticky glade, the hot sun catching them as they passed, before the cover of trees reclaimed them. The beginnings of a ‘fsshhhh’- ing stream was a treasure to Wukong’s ears. One by one, the pilgrims relaxed. The smoke, only a dying puff, now, had led them to a little campfire in the forest.

“This isn’t exactly an amazing place to go camping,” said Bajie.

“Or an amazing time, either,” said Tripitaka. “Maybe it wasn’t of their choice. Travelers, maybe? Wanderers? Demons?” he spared a look at Wukong, who was sifting around the ashes with his foot.

“I can’t really smell anything,” said Wukong with a sniffle. “Too many scents around. The ginger they used to cook and the firs are messing up my senses.”

“Me too– sorry, master– but the fire is fresh. Whoever they are may come back very soon. It looks like they left many of their travel packs,” said Lie. “A group of five… maybe six people? A big group for any sort of wandering demon species. Most of them fly solo.”

“That’s great, but where’s the food?” huffed Bajie. “I’m hungry.”

“Shocker,” said someone quietly.

“Don’t pretend you’re not hungry too, peach-muncher!”

Wukong glared at his companion. Any other escalation of the argument was nipped in the bud by a stare from Tripitaka.

“If it serves any importance— no hard feelings if not— I think we should sleep the rest of the day away and set off after the sun sets. The days are too hot and long to travel through,” said Lie, hopping from the cloud and reaching up to assist their master off as well.

“I believe you may have been right after all, Wukong,” said Tripitaka. He offered a lopsided smile to the rest of his disciples and dabbed his temple with a sleeve.

Bajie was looking through the abandoned backpacks off to the side. “If you ask me, I don’t think any of these guys will come back. All of these things look ratty and stolen… here: this bag looks like it follows the patterns of Mìngyùn Guǒ City’s sewing back in the East. Those folks aren’t known to leave their prissy little civilization.”

“Can no person simply travel, my disciple? No matter where they are from?” asked Tripitaka.

“I— well—! I’m just saying it’s suspicious, master.”

“We’ll just have to keep watch,” said Wujing chipperly. He flipped out one of the sleeping bags they had brought on their journey and began to pull out their cotton tent. Wukong was glad he had won in drawing lots that morning. Otherwise, he would have been the one lugging that big thing around. “We might have scared them away with our approach. Could have been a demon with an impressive set of ears.”

Wukong pretended not to hear that.

“We still need food,” he said, stretching. “Anyone want to help me scout the area?”

“Nose goes.”

“Nose goes.”

“No,” said Bajie, the loser of the game.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll pass too— I’ll head off on my own. Might be safer that way. Don’t want to save any stray piglets from a scary demon,” said Wukong with a prickly smile.

“ Goodbye Wukong,” said Tripitaka before Bajie could begin to complain, “come back in one piece.”

Wukong would come back in one piece.

That was both a vow and the truth, but in the humid fir forest, Wukong sniffed through all the spicy smells looking for sweet fruits.

Apricots were ripe for the picking– he shrunk and shoved them into the little pack he had brought with them. Once he had taken the few that looked best to eat, he dropped down from its tree in search of any other fruits.

Wukong was never really picky. But he picked ripe plums and took dragon’s eye fruits from a flourishing longan tree a small ways north, climbed the tallest tree he could find, and still couldn’t find a hint of that sweet pink color peeking through the trees.

Not being picky didn’t mean he didn’t have a preference , okay ?

Half an hour after he had set out for food, Wukong saw a flash of heaven. He blinked and stopped in his tracks.

There, hidden between the thickest and prickliest of the firs, were peaches.

Most of them had already fallen to the ground in a pile of mush. The peaches in this tree were far more ripened than their usual prime, but between the hot days and long peach-filled cravings, Wukong couldn’t find himself to care. He pocketed as much of the squishy fruit as he could. His hands, sticky now, grabbed at the tree’s tender bark and began to heave himself up.

A face-full of teeth flashed.

“ GAH !”

Wukong’s staff dinged and flipped to life in his hand. He tipped back, blind, and cracked the trunk of the struggling peach tree with a mighty swing. The wood croaked.

Quickly, Wukong realized three things: he was falling back-first, the attacker on his face was yowling bloody murder, and the tree was coming down with them.

‘cckRRNK– BOOM!’

The toothy grip on Wukong’s cheek loosened as the peach tree’s leaves gave out one last dying shudder. The forest was silent.

Staring up at the sky, Wukong could spot gray, ashy clouds blowing along– oh, that one looked like a chair… and that one looked like a pear. Wukong blinked and scrunched his nose. That next cloud looked like a monkey.

The monkey blinked back at him.

Wukong frowned. His hand, free from the staff now, swiped down his left cheek and found that his fingers were slippery and slick. He watched a cloudy red seep into the crevices of his fingerprints.

“You bit me,” he said to the now-clear monkey sitting on his chest.

“You were stealing my peaches,” declared the little monkey.

Wukong flung the little thing off to the side with a yelp. He scrambled up, reclaimed his staff, and pointed it at the demon.

The little monkey barked and smiled their toothy smile at the Monkey King.

“Where are you from?” asked Wukong.

“ Here ,” said the monkey, as if it was obvious, “where you’re not from!”

Wukong frowned down at the demon. Now that they weren’t all up in his face, he was beginning to see how much this demon wasn’t a threat. They were small like a housecat. From where they were clinging desperately to the fallen tree, fur all puffed up and angry, Wukong had to take pity on it.

“These aren’t your peaches, bud. They’re the forest’s. And because they’re the forest’s, I’m allowed to take a few. It’s called sharing– it’s a virtue.”

This was no Flower Fruit Mountain monkey. Wukong made sure to meticulously remember all the features and smells of his own troop during his long days looking after them. Not a single little monkey slipped under his radar as king. This monkey was likely too young to be one of his, anyways– none of his troop’s members had been with child before he left on his journey.

Even if they had, it was just as likely they would have perished in the fire.

Wukong hadn’t heard of any other demon monkey troops around China. Flower Fruit Mountain had been his little bubble from the rest of the world– he could only assume that any other troop would have been the same.

“Am I traveling on your troop’s territory?”

The monkey frowned. Without looking away from Wukong, they fiddled with the scattered tree leaves and retrieved mushy peaches one-by-one from the carnage.

“You are ,” they said. “This is my territory.”

“ Yours ?” Wukong couldn’t help but laugh.

The monkey’s little face remained stormy. They could only fit three peaches in their arms before they began to struggle.

“I’m the leader, the sole protector, and the warrior of this peach tree!” they said.

“Th… this peach tree?” asked Wukong, pointing vaguely to the remaining stump on the ground. The monkey’s stormy demeanor cracked into a pout, so Wukong quickly moved on. “What’s so special about it?”

“The fruits are tasty, and the leaves are nice and shady. The smells are too sweet for any meat-eating demon to want to come near,” said the monkey, proudly. Then, they narrowed their eyes at Wukong. “Are you a meat-eating demon?”

“That’s not exactly something you want to ask meat-eating demons,” said Wukong.

The monkey puffed up again and smiled at him.

“Stop doing that. You’re not scary at all, bud,” said Wukong. “Um, look– I’m sorry about your tree, but it looks like it was already in a pretty bad state…”

At first, Wukong had thought that the peaches were simply overripe. Now, he eyed the ashen wood and could see specks of white infecting the rotting and weakening wood inside. At one time, this tree had been strong and proud. The termites were eating it alive. Its flowers and fruits were sickly. Soon, only the tree’s bones would remain.

The monkey blinked their dewy eyes at him, glancing back and forth between the king and their fallen kingdom.

“ No , it’s only the season changing. That’s how it works. Things are worse before they get better,” said the monkey, squishing the peaches close to their chest. The rotten fruits stuck to their skin and fur, the sweet smell like a harsh perfume. The flesh of the peaches slipped and squelched out of their hands. They watched miserably.

“How long have you been out here?”

“Some seasons,” they said, uncertain, “maybe… more?”

The monkey grimaced at Wukong. They smiled, baring those baby teeth and gums again, before remembering that the Monkey King wasn’t scared of their aggressive display. With a blink, as if they didn’t know why they had bared them in the first place, they took an embarrassed nibble of the fruit-sauce in their hands.

“Uh– no, don’t even eat those. They’re all really really bad, bud,” said Wukong. He got rid of his staff and took a quick step forward, making the monkey puff up and squeal. The king rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, really scary– c’mere.”

In about five seconds, Wukong got another bite to his chin and a handful of monkey squeaking in alarm.

The monkey continued to holler as they were held upside-down. Wukong’s arm, slung around the monkey’s hip, kept their body against his side. A furious tail lashed against Wukong’s cheek. Two back feet kicked to match.

“Kidnapping! Kidnapping!” cried the monkey. Little baby teeth snapped at Wukong’s legs fruitlessly.

“I wouldn’t have had to do this if you weren’t so bitey,” said Wukong, rolling his eyes. He grabbed and tossed out all of the mushy peaches in his bag and slung it on his other arm. “Listen, bud– kid? No, not used to that coming out of my mouth– oh, have you got a name?”

“ I am the leader–” a wiggle, “the sole! Protector–!” a twist, “and the warrior of this peach tree!!”

The monkey heaved out a mighty sigh and went limp in Wukong’s arm, dangling.

Wukong stared at them for a moment. The little monkey had so much fight in them, but he was just so gosh darn tiny to do anything destructive with it. He turned and followed the trail back to his companions.

“It’s okay, bud. Peach tree-protecting wasn’t really my thing either.”

When Wukong came back to camp, his fellow pilgrims had already set up their site. In the single tent they had, Tripitaka sat, meditating quietly. Wujing, Bajie, and Lie were huddled around a basin of cooling water. They were filling their canteens with the purified liquid when Bajie jumped up at the sight of him.

“Wukong, did you kill someone?”

That snapped their master out of his meditation. Tripitaka, quicker than he normally would be in any normal circumstance, rushed to Wukong to look at the dangling monkey.

“Sun Wukong,” said Tripitaka, more stunned than angry, “what have you done?”

“What? Nothing, master. I found this little demon in the forest as I was looking for food. They’re just a little baby, and they’re a monkey– and I’m a monkey– so it felt a little ironic to leave them alone.”

“So you killed it?”

Wukong glanced down at the monkey. Their tongue lolled out of their mouth dramatically, and their eyes remained very, very shut.

Wukong’s eye twitched.

He shook the monkey, and when they didn’t get a response, he flipped them onto their back into his arms.

“Oh, well. I guess I’ll have to dump this cold, dead body into this conveniently placed basin of boiling, steaming hot water,” said Wukong.

Everyone squawked and yelped, equal mixes of surprise and anger. The monkey, all pointy claws and teeth, twisted and clung to the fur on Wukong’s chest like a lifeline. In the same breath, the circlet around his head squeezed .

Wukong went breathless.

Speckles of black and white punched into his vision and continued to flash there; less of a dance, more of a scatter. His teeth grinded together as all of his other senses exploded. The ringing of his ears howled and stomped against cracking ground, hands tightening against the things that he could not see. The air stuttered and croaked in his lungs– and only when he let go of his last breath did the circlet ease.

Wukong blinked away the whiteness.

The little monkey in his arms was chittering at him. Sticky, humid hands pinched at his face and brought the smell of rotted peaches to his nose.

Wukong had fallen to his knees. He shook his head once, then twice, then shifted to sit down fully, dazed.

“…orry, Wukong,” someone, probably Tripitaka, was saying. “T…oght… illed them.”

The headache continued to taunt Wukong. Yet, the baby did not loosen their hold on him. Honey eyes stayed fixed on Wukong, even as the others quietly handed him fresh water and one of the apricots he had picked as an apology.

Half an hour later, Wukong had grounded himself again.

“No,” the little monkey was saying when Wukong finally managed to sink his teeth into the apricot, “I don’t know whose camp this was. I don’t stay far from– um… I didn’t stay far from my tree.”

“Well, if it doesn’t hurt us, then we shouldn’t worry about it,” said Lie, trying to comfort their worried-looking master.

The monkey shifted in Wukong’s lap and looked up at him.

“I’m sorry that I bit you twice,” they said as the others continued to chatter.

Wukong’s hand went up to feel the punctures on his face. They were frightfully tiny underneath his fingers, but they had bled vigorously when it had happened.

The heat of the day found it in its heart to be merciful. Clouds had begun to spread across the sky. One of them casted a shadow over the little monkey in his lap. The hardened look in their eyes twisted into fear the longer Wukong stared, saying nothing.

“It’s okay. You’ve got some serious spunk, bud– and audacity. Try not to get me into any more trouble while you’re with me,” he said, finally.

“It’s your fault that I’m with you,” said the monkey.

Wukong nodded slowly. That was true, but this monkey was a– well, a monkey; monkey like the ones that had been back home. It would be cruel and unusual punishment to let this child die all alone amidst the corpse of their own crumbling kingdom.

He watched termites crawl around the little monkey’s fur for a moment more before sighing.

“And you are going to stay with me until I can find you a proper home.”

“You’re keeping that flea-ridden thing?” asked Bajie. Wukong was glad that the group was talkative again, but some things never change; like his constant need to not hear that pig’s voice.

“They have termites , not fleas,” he said, “and yes. Isn’t this an efficient way of redeeming myself, master? By caring for poor, lost babies in the forest?”

“Well, it could get in the way with your task,” said Tripitaka, but the most important part was that he looked like he was considering it.

“But look at them, master. They’re so small and adorable– they’ll hardly be a dent in our supplies,” said Wujing.

“I grew up taking care of my sister,” said Lie through a mouthful of tofu jerky and plums. “I can help, if you’d like!”

“What? No. I’m not gonna take care of something that’s Wukong’s responsibility,” said Bajie. He crossed his arms and glared over at the monkey. They blinked at each other, and the firm look in Bajie’s eyes turned brittle before he swung his head away to wolf down a handful of longan, seeds and all.

The monkey huddled closer into Wukong, docile now, staring down at their hands. Something white obscured their vision.

“Take it,” said Wukong with a smile.

The monkey reached out and grabbed the longan from the Monkey King’s grasp. The shell and seed had already been removed. All that remained was the fruit’s sweet, soft insides. It wasn’t a peach– not by a long shot– but the monkey chewed it graciously anyways.

“There you go. That’s not so bad, huh?” Wukong cracked the next longan shell with his teeth and began to pick it off. “We have a long way to go, little cloud.”

[ch1-kasak0]

CUP HEAD HEAD CANONS GRRRR

A hahaha this isn't very child friendly :3 18+🔥🔥🔥

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Cup 100% spent way too much time staying up all night looking at the stars, has been punished multiple times by hat for staying up and not being awake for training :3

Cups fav dates would be staying up and stargazing or spending time walking through forests and around lakes and skimming rocks or playing with the animals at shelters

Always carries various animal treats and toys

Had a favourite pencil and would get emotional when it was taken off of him as a kid

Ambidextrous

Has tried to stack things on his dick, it worked but some almost got stuck and he panicked so much he cried

Considering bendys kick to his crotch he's probably not gonna have kids for awhile.. Or ever bendy has a really strong kick . _.

Likes driving near mountains so he can admire the scenery

Absolutely dispises people who leave their lights on for no reason at night (light pollution)

Is probably a tits man, likes laying on ur chest, man or woman since he likes listening to ur heartbeat, occasionally squeezes ur titties/chest for a giggle, makes a honk sound when he does and dies laughing everytime

Went to Scotland once and some dickhead asked him if he knew Swahili (it's a saying) and he learned Swahili just to spite the guy

Strangely likes the taste of cum... ( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)

Can run through trees ninja style

Drives like a dad

Bendy sometimes likes to just hug cup for the warmth #walking heater

Is really good at massages, got a tense spot? Go to cup and it'll be gone, might even get a hug as well

REALLY likes Eskimo kisses, he loves them sm

Yells train everytime he sees one, no matter who hears him

Has tried to lick one of the pea shooters before, nearly burned his tongue off and it's still kinda scarred around his mouth n shit, couldn't eat for like a month or 2 after (this was when he first got the bullets btw)

Really scarred and veiny hands, yum

Has probably been attacked by a succubus before

Sleeps like a "paint me like one of your French girls" when he isn't hugging smth

Prefers sweet n salty popcorn over just sweet or just salty

Likes looking out of the window when on car rides

Jonathan Sims core

Really likes sushi

"Gimme a hug :("

":3"

Jewelry.

Tried to read Wilsons journal once, no thanks.

You gotta be his fav person under mugs if he can trust u to protect him while he sleeps

Has weird hobbies and interests, he could rant about cannibalism for hours and if you trust him he'd ask if you can help him w bondage stuff (just, helping him tie u up or u tying him up) he's fascinated by bondage,

Can sleep upside down

Hates summer and winter, only likes autumn and spring

used to sound like will Stetson before he started smoking, so lowkey a TINY bit why he did, he thought he didnt sound threatening:P

Unironically moans a little when he's out of breath, no one has told him yet bc regardless of how lewd it is he just has a nice voice, his vocal cords are very moanable it's amazing

Also moans a lot when he sings, dunno why, no one has tried to stop him

gynecomastia (man boobs)

One time broke into a bar, drank most of the bars whiskey and then gave himself a concussion by falling into a pool table

Doesnt like tofu for whatever reason

Can easily fall asleep in a car if he's comfortable but doesn't bc he's not

Cannot sit still

Cannot stand still

Cannot lie still

Dispises people who talk when they eat

Gets sick when he sees chewed up food in people's mouths

Really wants a pet vulture idk

Tried to drink out of his straw, thought nothing of it, then asked dementia to try... It was weird.. It felt weird.. He didn't like it

Has really tense shoulders and back, physically incapable of massaging himself but can do it perfectly for others, it's a struggle

Likes rain, doesn't like getting wet

Will flood a bathroom if he uses a bath, cannot keep water in it for some reason

Likes cuddles, might have said this in another post but who gives af

Would 100% listen to MSI, Will wood and jhariah frfr trust

HIP DIPS. he has hip dips you can't change my mind/violin hips idk idgaf

Central heterochromia 100%

Used to hum the same song as demi did to help mugs sleep when they were younger, now does it for dying animals he finds and can't help save

If it was acceptable, would wear sleeveless turtle necks n shit like that trust (would make it easier to touch his boobs as well frfr)

Is the type of boy best friend to carry tampons n shit just incase one of his bsfs get her period #slay