#it happens. hopefully after ive had a good sleep i can get back to it lol

[and-a-side-of-pokemon]

When you're trying to work on your pieces for TSME Week, but your art just isn't art-ing today:

(If you're somehow reading this and wondering "wtf is TSME Week??", then please, please check out this blog: @tsmeweek. I promise it's worth it 😊)

[imnotasuperhero]

Look into my eyes (search your soul)

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Your love for Wanda could make you go the distance and more, just to see her happy. 

A/N: A day late, but in my defence I had a packed friday, lol. I woke up after a night out with the need to finish this part and post it, so here it is! BEware of any mistake since.. hehe.. I partied all night. Also, blame tumblr for any weird design on the post.

A/N 2: For now, this is planned to be four parts with the chance to growing. So it’s on you, guys. Hope you enjoy this and gets you wanting more (:

If not tomorrow, next weekend part 3 will be out.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX

Wanda stirred, waking up to an empty bed, before looking over at the sleeping babies beside her.

Her heart couldn't grow bigger at the sight in front of her. Those two little humans were finally in this crazy world, and the fears she could feel start growing at the back of her mind were doing little to help her breathe. She just wanted for you to hurry, to be by her side like you always were.

But all hopes of you being away in search of coffee dissipated when she saw her husband sleeping on the chair at the far end of the room.

'He finally dared to show up,' she sighed to herself.

What would she give for Vision to be more like you. To be present when she needed him, to show how much he cared for her.

A few months till now, she started noticing how Vision would go on longer trips, almost as if escaping their life together. And she would be lying if it didn't hurt her. Part of her still loved him. But a bigger part told her she just missed what they were.

She could only hope he would be present in their children's lives, at least. 

The tone of her phone going off signaled her of a new message and her heart jumped at the thought of you.

Seeing your name on the screen, Wanda smiled brightly as she hurried to open it.

'Good morning, Witchy. How are the twins treating you? Hopefully, they're not too much. How are you?'

'Good morning. They surely love to sleep.. still waiting for them to wake up so I can feed them. I am alright. How are you?'

After a few seconds of her message being unread, she just lowered her phone, basking in the warm feeling burning up inside her. The way you made her feel was something that -secretly- she enjoyed deeply.

Just as her phone went off again, the twins started to cry, demanding her attention. It was at that moment that Wanda made her peace with knowing her kids became before you.

Sitting up in her bed, she tried to wake up Vision. But decided she was better without his help for it was in vain.

Slowly stepping up, she maneuvered both babies in her arms as a grunt escaped her, her whole body begging her not to move. Sitting in bed, she shifted and shifted until she found a comfortable position.

Once she was settled, she placed each boy on each one of her breasts, hissing at the pain that sprouted from the latching.

Holding back her tears, she remembered the words you'd said the day before, as the first feeding happened.

“No no, let me,” You demanded as you quickly stood up from the chair, almost running the short distance to the crying twins’ crib.

Picking Billy up, you carefully placed him in Wanda’s arms. “Here you go, baby,” you spoke softly before you picked Tommy up, cooing at him as you patiently waited for Wanda to find a comfortable position.

“I know, sunshine.” You calmly spoke against the baby’s head as you rocked him softly. “Mommy needs a little more time for two beautiful babies like you need only the best. And you know the good things need time,” you smiled as you checked Wanda, busying herself with his brother before you lowered your voice to a whisper, “But don’t worry, you can always count on me to feed you the goodies.”

“I’ve heard that,” 

Looking up from the fussing baby in your arms, you found Wanda’s eyes staring warmly at you as she tried her best to stay put, waiting for her son with open arms.

Giggling at her words, you kissed Tommy’s head before placing him against his mother’s chest. “I stand by my words,” you whispered before kissing his forehead.

The pain that ran through Wanda’s chest got her in tears. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply as she bit her lips, trying to stay still.

Looking up at the weight by her side, she couldn’t help the sob that escaped her at seeing you wrapping your arm around her shoulders.

“I know, Wands.” You kissed her head and she just let your body be the one who held her in place. “But this is part of the process, and you have to endure it for your babies,” you coed as you caressed Billy’s head.

“It’s for my babies,” she whispered, gathering the patience it took.

But said patience was running thick as the twins started crying at the lack of breast milk, and Wanda just felt defeated. She wanted her old life back.

Trying in vain to hold her cries, Wanda settled both babies’ heads on her shoulders, rocking them the best she could to try and calm them.

“Ugh. They’re too loud.” Vision grunted as he stood up, walking towards the door leaving Wanda with rage building inside of her.

A few minutes passed by when Vision walked back in with a nurse hot on his heels.

“Good morning, Hon,” the nurse walked to the redhead with a soft smile on her lips. “What’s the problem?” She asked as she quickly checked the charts at the feet of Wanda’s bed.

"I don’t know," Wanda spoke on the verge of more tears running down. "I tried to feed them but they started crying." She looked up at the nurse with hopes she could help her calm her kids.

"I see," The nurse paused as she checked the bag connected to Wanda's hand. "Did it happen yesterday?"

"No." Wanda sighed.

"There's an easy solution for that," the nurse smiled brightly, caressing Wanda's head, and she would lie if she didn't think about her mom at that moment. She should be here with her, guiding her.

"Let me go get some formula, yes? You're not producing much to feed both of them," she explained calmly, making sure Wanda calmed down before she walked away.

She laughed sardonically when Vision started gathering his things. “Are you really leaving now?” The redhead spits out venomously as she tried to calm her crying boys.

“Work is calling, baby. I need to make money to provide for you.” Vision nodded as he picked up the call, walking away for God knows how long, this time. And that action alone was enough to make her cry alongside her babies. The excruciating pain in her chest making it harder and harder to breathe. This was just too much.

But the nurse didn’t take much and as soon as she entered the room, she hurriedly took one of the babies from Wanda and gave her one of the bottles in her hands, calmingly feeding the twin in her arms.

“Where’s the dad?” She asked confused.

Wanda didn’t dare to look up. “He had work to do,” she whispered. Her eyes never leaving Tommy, as he happily sucked from his bottle.

“Is there someone I can call? Doc will be here soon and you might be able to go home today,” the nurse smiled as she rocked softly.

“I-” Wanda paused, thinking of you. Quickly picking up her phone, she paused before dialing your number. “Could you… Could you talk to her?”

And Wanda’s secret prayers were answered when the nurse nodded softly, locking the bottle under her chin so Billy could keep feeding and hurriedly grabbed Wanda’s phone, bringing it to her ear.

“Hi, I’m Wanda’s nurse. N- no, everything is alright,” the nurse giggled something warm. “It’s just her husband had to go away and she might be able to- Oh, okay. Be safe, though.” 

“She’s on her way,” the nurse smiled as she left Wanda’s phone on the table beside her bed.

Truth to your words, you walked through the door in less than 10 minutes.

“Sorry I’m late,” you placed the small gift in your hand on the table beside Wanda’s phone before you quickly kissed her forehead.

“I’ve got him,” you smiled to the nurse as she placed Billy in your arms. “Hi, baby,” you coed as you automatically started to rock him, continuing the nurse’s ministrations on his back.

“Hi,” Wanda spoke softly and frowned when she saw you freeze at her words for a second too long.

“You’re not the only baby, from now on,” you joked.

“You are the only asshole in this room, though.” Wanda couldn’t help the smile at your giggles.

“Touché.”

“Are they strictly to bottles, now?” The worriness in your voice had Wanda concentrating really hard on making Tommy burp, avoiding looking in your way.

“No need to worry, sweety,” the nurse jotted some things down into her notepad before giving you her whole attention. “Wanda just can’t produce enough milk for both of them, so she can either complement her breastfeeding with it or just go for the formula.”

“Ohh, I see.”

Wanda could feel your eyes on her and her whole body burned with shame.

“The doc will be here in a few, though. He’ll talk you guys through it,” the nurse smiled before walking out of the room.

Once you both were alone, Wanda felt the side of the bed shift and the releaving sigh that escaped her when she felt your body against hers had her cheeks heating up.

“How are you holding up?” You asked as you caressed Tommy’s head.

“Not gonna lie. This is a rollercoaster full of downs,” Wanda allowed her body to rest against yours, seeking the comfort she needed.

“Is there anything I can-” 

“Way to go, dude.” You interrupted your previous thought as you faked disgust at the warm feeling on your shoulder. “It’s only right that you love me, but you don’t need to be so explicit about it.” You shifted the baby from one arm to the other as you took your jacket off.

Wanda couldn’t help but laugh at your words. “I told you karma was coming back,”

“Karma is a smelly bitch,” you scrunched your nose as you walked to the baby’s bag, taking some wet wipes to clean your jacket.

Seeing you so harmonically moving with her son in your arms had her heart warming up. And she made sure to thank the Universe or whichever God out there for having a friend like you in her life.

As always, likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreaciated :)

Taglist: @summergeezburr @wandabear @red1culous @inluvwithfictionalwomen @aliherreraaa @kiancorpse @whitewidowsbite @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ (If you wanna be added, just let me know!)

[huffle-dork]

Swap into the CrystalVerse Chapter 23: Horror Septics

Co-written with @crystalninjaphoenix 

Read Swapboys | Read Horror Septics | AO3 Link

Prologue | Switch | Stitched | PNPT | Septicheroes | Fantasy Masks | Horror

Taglist: @brokentimewatch @di-diwata  

What follows is about an hour of frenzied activity while the doctors take Alt to the emergency room and examine him. True to their word they let Chase stay in the room, though Mag and Jack have to wait nearby and observe through a window. After all this, the doctors conclude that Alt is very injured and lost a lot of blood, but will recover from it all eventually. The highest priority is the cocktail of unidentifiable drugs in his system. He'll need at least one night for his system to detox--not to mention get some good rest. So they take him to a room in the recovery ward and hand Chase some paperwork to fill out.

When he asks about the fee, one of the doctors from earlier takes him aside and quietly tells him not to worry about that. "We get some of you... sometimes," he says softly, and then hurries away before Chase can ask for elaboration.

After what feels like forever, the whole group is squeezed into a private hospital room with a wide window and a small TV in the wall.

Alt is finally sleeping somewhat peacefully, bandaged up and hooked up to IVs and monitors. Chase hates seeing him like this.

Mag has turned into his cat form and is hiding in the corner of the room, watching the shadows for any movement.

Jack has not said a word since they left Notarzt's home.

Chase looks to Jack and smiles at him tiredly. "Hey... Jack? Uh... t-thank you so much for helping us... but um... are you okay? you.. you don't have to stay here anymore... if you don't want to. We'll... we'll be out of here... soon hopefully."

Jack stares at Chase wordlessly for a second. Then, suddenly, the TV turns on, showing nothing but static.

Chase jumps at the TV turning on. Alt seems to curl up, holding a hand against his ear to stop the noise.

Jack quickly jumps up and rushes over to turn it off.

He breathes a sigh of relief and walks back over. “I want to stay,” he says quietly. “But I don’t know if I can. I…” He pauses. “Do you remember what Alt said about not being able to glitch? Maybe… that’s my fault. I-I told you that the thing hunting me uses technology. I-I don’t know much about Alt’s powers but… they seem… similar. Maybe… it blocked his powers. But maybe… if I go, it won’t be able to.”

The hero leans in close to listen, his eyes widening. "...Why... Why would it be messing with Alt's powers? Just because they're similar...? ...I dunno if you going would do anything though... it sounded like this happened while that freaky doctor bitch had him. ... what if this is just to lure you back out? I can't have that thing dragging you away!"

"Heh." Jack smiles. "It... means a lot to hear that. But you guys have to leave eventually. And I think we know we can't fully defeat them, even if we may be able to... work around them. For a while. As for why it would happen in the first place... I have no idea. Maybe it's just jealous of there being someone else out there who can mess with tech." He shrugs. "If... you don't want me to leave... I won't." There's hope in his voice, but also trepidation.

Chase looks at him with soft eyes, "...I don't want you to go. You... you really helped me here... even though you didn't have to. ... I can at least repay the favor for as long as we're still here."

Jack takes a shaky breath. "...thanks," he whispers. Are there tears in his single visible eye? He looks away quickly so Chase can't really see. "I really hope you guys don't come back here, but on the off chance you do, I... I hope you remember me."

Chase looks concerned, "...why wouldn't we remember you? ... i mean Mag might not care but he's an asshole so don't count him." Chase tries to laugh, "But... of course I'll remember you."

Jack smiles sadly. "Think of it like... a curse. It's hard for me to stick in people's minds." He leans back in the chair and sighs. "But... anyway. You should rest. I think your seat reclines."

Chase looks more worried at this. But, Jack has a point. He is really tired. He looks for the recliner part and then laughs when he finds it. "Oh hell yeah! Fancy~!" He smiles at Jack and then gives him a softer, more concerned look. "...try to rest too Jack... okay?"

Jack nods. "I will." To demonstrate, he closes his eyes. But he doesn't like to sleep. He doesn't like to risk having dreams. So he stays awake for longer than he should.

The night passes peacefully, and soon the sun is rising again. Jack wakes up around this time, but everyone else takes a couple more hours.

Alt wakes up a bit before Chase does. And, he notices the medical equipment around him and immediately starts having a panic attack. The monitors beeping- the iv in his arm. Even if he's not strapped down- the bandages feel like how the straps felt- and that's more than enough to send him further into panicking. He starts to hiccup and gasps for breath, sure that Notarzt is right around the corner, about to inject him again.

"Whoa, hey!" Jack immediately stops pretending to be asleep. "Hey hey hey. Alt, right?" He stands up and walks a bit closer--though not too close, in case that would make all this worse.

Alt snaps his head over to Jack at the voice. And for a second- he almost thinks... It's his friend Jack from home. But... it couldn't be. Now that he's looking- there's no way.

"You're safe now. Look." Jack points to the window. There were no windows in that... maze of hallways and operating rooms. "Outside. This is a normal hospital, not that thing's fucked up pocket dimension."

Alt does listen though and looks towards the window- and seems to relax, breathing a little less rapidly. He shudders and then really tries to look at this guy. "... w-who... who are you?" He whispers, as if afraid to raise his voice too loud.

Jack sighs. "Uh, well... I'm ħĨ¦¶Ÿ, but your brother's been calling me... I-it's funny, I wonder if he thought I was your friend Jackie, so he called me, you know, a shortened version of that." He pauses. "That was probably a long explanation, uh... a-anyway. I know you guys are from some other world. I'm from here. I've... I can relate to what you're going through right now..." he says softly.

"Shortened... Jackie...?" Alt asks, brain feeling scrambled. "...Jack... ha... I.. for a second... y-you kinda reminded me of my f-friend Jack... back home...." Alt smiles shakily at him.

Jack smiles sadly at the mention of a friend back home named Jack. could it be...? Well, he doesn't have time to dwell on it.

Then. Alt blinks and seems to remember, "oh...! You... you helped me- back in... in that place... You helped Chase and- ... and Mag was there too." He furrows his eyebrows at this and makes a face. "...why was Mag there...? and... w-where's Chase?" As he asks this slight panic raises in his voice.

"Yeah, I was there. I-I said I'd help Chase find you. As for, uh, Mag... that's a longer story..." He doesn't get to tell the story himself, though.

A hand comes to hold Alt's and even though he startles slightly he relaxes as Chase smiles at him. "H-Hey hey... I'm here- I'm awake...!"

Magnificent rises from his slumber too, but stays lurking in the shadows, watching the others carefully.

As Chase appears Jack decides to let the two of them have that moment. The TV flickers on for a moment. Not long enough for anyone to notice.

Alt blinks and then smiles at Chase and almost immediately starts to cry. "C-Chase-"

Chase is scooping him up into a hug, IV and equipment be damned. He buries his face against Alt's shoulder and tries to hide the way his shoulders are shaking and his voice is cracked with emotion. "I'm so sorry we took so long Alt- I tried to find you as soon as we could! I'm... I'm so sorry I left you- I'm so sorry that thing got you...! I'm sorry... I'm sorry...!"

Alt blinks and then goes to wrap his arms lightly around Chase, letting his own tears fall quietly. He wants to tell Chase it's okay... but he'd be lying. ...none of this was okay. But, he doesn't want Chase to blame himself. "... you found me in the end... that's what matters, okay...?"

Bro nods and then slowly lets Alt go, quickly wiping at his face. "Yeah... yeah... h-how are you feeling?"

Alt laughs a bit, "Like complete shit... I... don't know how else to describe it.... like- like a cut up sausage I guess-"

Chase finds himself chuckling at that.

"Hah..." Jack smiles a little. He can't help it--there's something so absurdly accurate about that comparison, from what he knows about Notarzt. "Well... I'm pretty sure that it won't be coming after you. It... let us get to you, so I-I think it's done with you. Don't worry. You won't have to deal with that again." Doesn't mean they won't have to deal with other stuff while they're still in this world, but he's not going to say that.

Alt looks relived at this, nodding to Jack with a small smile.

Again, the TV flickers, the speakers letting out a hint of white noise.

Once the tender moment is over, Magnificent slinks from the shadows and turns back into his human form, baring his teeth slightly. Mist clings to his feet. "Alright- enough of this frivolity. We need to leave this place now. Alt- can you feel your powers-"

He doesn't get to finish his question before the tv speakers let out noise. And Alt immediately tenses and covers his ears, curling in on himself.

Jack spins over to the TV with wide eyes. He hurries over and makes sure the TV is off again. It is. But that's not good enough. He finds the plug and pulls it out, letting out a sigh of relief. "A-anyway. Apparently Mag is an asshole, from what I've heard, but he's right. If... you can go... you guys should. A-any universe would be safer than this. Probably. How'd you get here anyway...?"

Alt lowers his hands and then panics slightly patting his pockets to see if he still has the TRVLR.

He does. When he sees if he has enough power to turn it on, he does--though the jump button is grayed out. He must not have given it enough power for that yet. The red warning bubble in the middle is still there. Tapping it reveals the same message that he saw when he first arrived here:

WARNING

Lethal ALTRs detected in Current Location: (!)UA-1031019HS. Please jump as soon as possible.

Alt seems to relax as he finds it and powers it up- but not nearly enough it seems. He curses. Then goes to answer Jack, “We… we used this thing. I can supply it with enough energy with my magic- but.. I guess I’m still kinda drained…”

Chase narrows his eyes and tilts the screen to read the warning. He pales. “Ah Jesus… t-that would have been nice to know!”

“I… I didn’t know- I think we picked this one by mistake,” Alt comments quietly, “I tried to call you to warn you right away but then that’s when… when it-“

Chase’s face softens and he pats Alt on the shoulder. “…it’s okay Alt.” He then narrows his eyes at Mag. “you heard him, cat bitch. Not enough magic to jump yet-“

“I’ll give him some of my magic!” Mag argues.

“Oh hell no! I’m not letting your freaky magic touch Alt anytime soon bitch!” Chase snaps back.

"You know, I did just say you should leave, but I don't think it's uh... a good idea to introduce any... foreign power to Alt's systems... right now?" Jack says carefully. "Look, uh, le-let's give it a little bit longer, okay?"

He looks at Mag. "I know you're worried about Cait Coill. But it can take years for it to collect sometimes. You pissing it off doesn't guarantee it's going to show up at any moment."

Magnificent bares his teeth at Jack for calling him out. But, he doesn't say anything more.

Jack looks back to the brothers. "Anyway. Alt. I noticed your clothes got, uh... wrecked a little. I noticed an outlet store nearby. One of us could... go get something for you?"

Alt blinks up at Jack and then moves the blankets to see his ripped sweatpants. Bro also holds up his shirt and Alt's face falls. "...oh... uh... y-yeah that'd be... really nice actually..."

"Your jacket is okay though," Bro reassures him, handing it to him. Alt smiles slightly and takes it, holding it in his arms.

"Okay," Jack says quietly. "I could... um, if you gave me your sizes and some cash, I could head over really quick." He glances at the TV nervously. "I won't be long."

Chase blinks and then looks through his bag, pulling out some cash and handing it to Jack. "Here- Alt's a medium."

Mag huffs and goes to sit in one of the chair.

Alt glances at the TV nervously too. "um.. t-thanks Jack..."

The TV is quiet. Of course it is, it's unplugged. What are you expecting?

"Thanks." Jack gives them both a small smile. "I'll be right back. I'll try to get something like your last stuff." And with that, he stands up and heads out.

Alt smiles warily as he watches Jack leave.

Chase sighs and sits back down, but he does hand Alt his phone. "Oh yeah- I found this outside. How the hell does yours still have battery? I swear mine was dead when we got here."

The glitch shrugs with a light laugh, "I dunno- maybe me using my magic to jump charges it."

"Why the hell didn't mine charge then?"

"I dunno man! I can't control that! Maybe you just need a better phone!"

"...isn't yours stolen?"

"nooo- this was from Jackie i think-" Alt comments lightly. He flicks it on- it's very close to dying but not yet.

As soon as he turns it on, he gets a text notification. The banner disappears unusually fast--too fast to even see a preview of the message.

Alt blinks in confusion and opens up the message.

It's from a number simply listed as "Unknown." ÑñŜ§ŬţġöēŴHelloĴŝêśįģųÝåþŦÚń¨«ĩÄìĽãÊij íźĔīĆvisitorIJĭęúÇ£ĥŲıħăËūùÏŋ* ĻŇňÛ¶Őďŗ¼®ėŽņĖYouŕÎõě©żŖóĘőķŊæ ¾»ŷĀĤareŢ¿ŤŨáŁ×ĶŹĝāŪèŶůâ´ÉĊĞŃlikeÐĐʼnü·¤¬meðŭ¥ëř

"The fuck?" Alt mutters under his breath, "How am I still getting spam across dimensions?"

As soon as Alt exits his messages, there's another one. This time the banner lingers for long enough for him to read.

ê¸×üšĝřÖĪŰĊ¥NotĸŷŃŬŊď¨Ă奄ßĈspamŶťġ¹ŵáŝıΪ

And then another soon after that.

Alt

Alt's stomach drops as he sees the message- he... he could see other words amongst the nonsense. Not Spam He gasps slightly as he sees the text with just his name. He drops his phone and scoots back.

Wait- if he noticed something in there then- He checks the first message again.

You're.... like... me

Now Alt really chucks his phone and this causes Bro and Mag to react.

Chase is by his side in an instant, "Alt? What's wrong?"

"M-Message-!" Is all Alt can try to say through his panic.

The TV turns on again.

Alt cries out and covers his ears, curling up and then looking up at the TV in fear.

Bro stands up and looks at it with confusion. "W-what? Didn't Jack unplug that??"

He did. In between the bursts of static everyone--even Alt with his ears covered--hears a voice that sounds like their own, distorted and twisted.

"¢ñŶÅPlayingŘľĬwithïĢŒmyĴÊĠtoys?üÝöĭ ľĬÔŎI ņ®ōdon'tÓŞūlikeĊõ¨Ś¾toğ±´Żshare.ĸÑÌ ĘŖ·SeeÚěìyou¦âðśsoon.ŪĿŽÚ"

And then, abruptly as it turned on, it turns off again.

Alt shakes in the bed, curled up tight into a ball as he chokes on a terrified sob.

Bro backs away from the TV, eyes wide. "W-What the fuck...?"

Magnificent stiffens and then glares at the tv with his teeth bared, power pulsing in his eyes.

Even once the the TV turns off, nobody moves. All they can hear is Alt's panicked breathing.

Minutes pass. Five. Ten. Nothing happens.

Bro and Mag relax after the first few minutes of silence. Bro tries to walk over to Alt to comfort him, but the glitch refuses to uncurl. He just keeps thinking about that message. You're like me.

Magnificent flicks between watching the shadows and glancing at the tv. ...whatever that thing that threatened them... looks like it had nothing more than just scary words.

More time passes. Fifteen minutes total since the message. Twenty. Twenty five.

Then there’s a knock on the door. “Hey guys?” It’s Jack. He slowly pushes open the door and steps inside. He’s carrying a paper bag from the nearby clothing store.

The instant he steps in he realizes something is wrong. “What happened? Did you see something else?”

Chase is still trying to get Alt to calm down but he can't seem to get him to relax. He jumps slightly as Jack comes back and then he sighs, "H-Hey... I... I don't know- Alt was acting weird with his phone- and starting freaking out about a message. And then- the TV turned on- even though we didn't plug it back in! There was a ... a voice- in the static."

"Said something about how it didn't want to share its toys," Mag adds in a flat voice.

Bro nods, "But... nothing since then... but Alt is still pretty spooked." He gently tries to shake Alt's shoulder again. "Hey its okay dude... nothing's comin' to hurt us- look, Jack's back! It's okay..."

Unfortunately Jack's reaction to this news does not help calm Alt down. The paper clothing bag falls out of his loose hand as he immediately goes white as a ghost.

"We're going," he says. "We're going, we're--I know we probably have to check out of the hospital but there's no time, we're going somewhere else to wait for Alt to recover--ow!" His hand flies to his eye-patch, pressing against it.

Alt now looks at Jack with wide terrified eyes, “W..what is this thing? W-why did it say it was Iike me?!”

Bro looks between the two of them in confusion. “wait what? We can’t just-“ Then he starts to connect the dots and he turns pale as well. “that thing- that hunted you. Okay- okay just- grab whatever you can!” He hurries to grab his bag and then starts to see how he can get Alt unplugged from all the monitors.

Jack picks up the paper clothing bag again, trying to take deep breaths. "I-I told you earlier that I understood how you feel--it's because I was stuck with one of those things for a--" He laughs. "--a long, long time." He rubs the bandages covering his neck. "I-it uses technology. M-manipulates it. I-I-I guess it doesn't like having someone else around who can do the same thing."

Alt shudders and looks at Jack with a mix of sympathy and terror.

As soon as Chase has Alt mostly unhooked he hurries over to the window. They're on the first floor and the window opens. That's probably a bad idea, but this is a small hospital. "Come on. When you can."

Chase is quick to help Alt up, slinging his shoulder over his. Alt limps towards the window with Chase’s help.

Alt knows they need to hurry so he grabs Jack and then Mag too and closes his eyes. In a quick burst of static and pixels, Alt glitches them outside. But, then he slumps against Chase, breathing heavily- still having trouble glitching. But at least they’re out of the hospital room.

Magnificent shakes himself off like an offended cat and eyes their surroundings.

“W-Where to now?” Chase frantically asks Jack.

“Somewhere with less tech,” Jack says, frantically looking around. “I-if we can’t make it to the edge of the city we can find a park or something—fuck, I’ve never been here before, I don’t know—aagh!” He stumbles, pressing his had to his eye-patch once again. When he lifts it, blood trickles out from under the patch.

Chase hurries to look over at Jack as he stumbles then looks at him with mounting horror. “J-Jack- your eye is bleeding…!”

“I know, I know, and it’s not a good sign!” Jack shakes his head, pushing past the pain. “Just go! Hurry! Come on!” He starts running down the street, picking a direction at random.

Chase looks back at Alt and then, despite his protests, picks him up and runs after Jack. Magnificent stays close behind.

They run for a few minutes, with Jack constantly looking around for some sign of anything.

There’s nothing.

Until they reach a construction site where the sidewalk and street are all torn up, big empty pipes sitting next to holes clearly meant for them. The site is empty. Unusual. It forces the group to a narrow strip of intact sidewalk, a high wall to one side and a hole to the other.

At once, all the phones the group has let out a squawk of static that sounds like laughter. Up ahead something appears. Glitches into being is probably the most accurate way to describe it, but it’s not like Alt’s glitching. There is something more visceral about the sound and the movement.

The boys all stagger backwards, Mag holding out a hand filled with magic at this thing while Chase holds Alt close. As soon as the sound started Alt had curled up and covered his ears again, shaking like a leaf.

The thing is shaped like a person… in fact, it’s shaped like Jack. But with wide green-sclera eyes. But a second later it shivers and shudders, blasts of static noise filling the air one after another. KRCHT Now it looks like Alt. KRCHT Now it looks like Chase. KRCHT Now it looks like Mag. KRCHT Now there is something of all of them in it, jittering pieces forced together, green eyes and blood in the seams where they meet.

Alt stares at the thing with terrified eyes and then shouts at it, “No no! G-Get the fuck away from us!!”

Its smile splits its face in half. All of a sudden it’s in front of them, without any moving at all—without even the blink of teleportation. It lunges forward, static getting louder.

Jack cries out and instinctively tries to push the others behind him— And then it is gone. Right before it reached them it vanished like it had never been there at all. But the static lingers.

“Keep going keep going keep going!” Jack urges.

Chase staggers back then breaks out into a sprint, holding his trembling brother in a vice grip against him.

Magnificent tries to keep up, split between running and teleporting as he shouts out, “What the hell is that thing?!”

“I don’t know! It’s another one of those things!” Jack shouts. He’s running as fast as he can, but is lagging a bit behind the others with their powers and magic. “It’s strong, though! It can—”

But then, abruptly, he stops talking. Stops running, too, coming to a sudden halt. His visible eye is wide, his muscles are trembling, and more blood leaks from behind the patch. “No,” he breathes. “No, not—” Again, he stops. He relaxes abruptly, head lolling, swaying on his feet.

Chase skids to a stop and whips around. “J-Jack?!”

Magnificent shivers and steps back, eyes wide and magic sparking at his fingertips.

Alt feels like he can’t breathe.

"Ì sińg t̢h̕e ͝body ͡el̡èćt̛r̨ic̕.͞" The voice comes from Jack's throat, but also from their phones, popping and fizzling with white noise. Jack's mouth grins wide and then his body lurches forward, lunging for whoever's closest.

Alt in his panic tried to glitch away- but whether it’s his still messed up powers or the gravity of whatever this thing is- he ends up right in the things path- disoriented.

“NO!” Chase tries to yell-

The hands grab Alt, arms wrapping around him. Jack's body is moving so fast that the two of them go toppling to the ground, on the edge of the hole in the road.

"Bad luck, bad luck," Jack's voice says, his face still grinning. One hand wraps around Alt's throat while the other reaches into Jack's pocket for his swiss army knife. The blade flicks open.

Alt is panicking hardcore, unable to breathe. He tries to kick and fight Jack but he’s still weak and in a lot of pain. “D-Don’t! Please S-Stop…!” Alt croaks out, trying to get himself to glitch but he can’t.

The other react fast- Magnificent yells out and tries to wrap up Jack in strings.

Bro rushes forward to see if he can grab Alt away-

The strings yank Jack's body away just in time for Chase to grab Alt. It shrieks and struggles.

Chase backs away quickly with Alt, afraid both of them will fall in the hole. Alt clings to Bro’s shirt like a lifeline- but he refuses to look away from Jack.

More blood leaks from behind Jack's eye-patch and he stops, clarity for a moment. "I-I can understand it," he whispers. "Neurons and nerves. Guys, it can't--" But then his mouth snaps shut.

Alt’s eyes widen as he hears Jack- “Neurons and nerves- what does that mean?!”

Jack’s hand flips the blade around and cuts through the strings holding that arm. His body presses against the strings, growling, somehow gathering enough force to snaps some of them as the hands reach for Magnificent.

Magnificent growls and whips out another hand and sends a shock of green electricity at the thing before it can grab him.

Jack screams as the electricity hits him, spasming and slumping. But he’s talking as soon as the scream is over. “I-it can’t reach you so it’s stuck with me. Disrupt its con—”

Alt’s eyes widen, his thoughts racing. Break the connection-!

Jack’s warning is broken by laughter. His body jumps forward, breaking the last of the strings, going for Bro with the knife.

As Jack dives at Bro with the knife Alt screams out and then in a quick flurry of glitches disappears into Jack’s body.

Abrupt silence.

Jack’s body drops, completely limp. The knife clatters to the ground.

Alt feels everything that Jack feels, sees everything that he sees as if this is his body. But something is off. Jack’s consciousness is there, battered and tired and worn thin. But there is something else there as well. A parasite, wrapped up in Jack’s nerves, hissing like organic white noise. And yet there is something familiar in its presence. Like your reflection in a funhouse mirror.

{He’s mine,} it says. {Not yours. Get out.} {No!} Jack’s consciousness squirms. {Alt, please! Help!}

Alt panics for a second, trying to understand what is happening. Then he tries to dive into kinks in the nerves, trying to send out his own current to disrupt the flow. {This body isn’t yours! Get out!}

The entity digs its claws into Jack's mind. Alt's current causes it to spasm and stretch but it won't let go yet.

{It is. And so is the mind and soul. Will you take it from me? Make it yours instead?}

{Alt wouldn't do that!} Jack protests.

{Why not? He is like me. I can feel it.}

Alt falters then pushes harder in anger. {No! I’m not like you! I’ll never be like you!}

{But you are,} it says. {We are similar. Your cat is like our cat. Your misery is like our misery. This mind knows. This mind has suspected ever since your misery mentioned a friend with a red hood.}

A memory flashes through Jack's eyes--Chase's freakout in the radio tower when he realized Jackie often wears a red hoodie. But that memory flash brings something to light.

Alt feels himself freeze, slow realization flooding through his body like cold dread. “No! Cuz there’s… t-there’s so way that thing is Jackie! There’s no way that m-monster is my best friend!“ Chase says in the memory.

These things… these horrors- they’re supposed to be them.

As Alt is distracted by the parasite's words, it is sinking deeper into Jack's brain.

Outside the mind, his body trembles, eyes rolling back in his head. Alt can feel pain in Jack's right eye.

Chase has crashed down next to Jack’s body and is trying to shake him awake. “J-Jack?! Alt!!” Mag steps back- but pulls Jack’s arms behind his back with his strings. Cant be too careful…

Alt feels himself want to scream- no no no! He’s not this thing! He’s not a torturer- he’s not evil! He gets distracted from his spiral at the flare of pain in Jack’s eye. He feels panic trying to take over him. But- that must be the connection!

Alt tries to act quickly, racing into the nerves by the eye and putting more of his magic in to stop this thing from spreading further.

It's like slowly pulling apart taffy. The parasite wants to stay, clawing and biting into the membrane of Jack's soul. But Alt's power stretches it, pushing it away until-- SNAP!

It's gone.

All that's left is the shadow of a power. Jack's body stops shuddering and he lies there, breathing heavily.

{Thank you...} It's just a thought, but Alt can picture tears of relief.

Alt's being shudders once the connection is snapped but he lingers long enough to hear the thank you- and feel the relief flooding through the both of them. {...anytime.}

Chase shakes Jack's body more, getting worried. "J-Jack?? Alt??"

Jack's body shudders and then- glitches break off his form almost like a copy of him. Then, Alt snaps back to himself right next to Jack, but he can't stay up long. His eyes roll back in his head and he slumps forward- but luckily Chase catches him. "Alt!"

The glitch shudders and shakes in Chase's arms, his eyelids fluttering and electricity sparking bright in his veins. But- not as bad as it was in the last world at least...

Mag watches carefully- but he does release the strings on Jack.

Jack breathes heavily. He sits up slowly and looks around. "I think... I think it's gone." For now. He knows it will keep trying to find him. But Alt seems to have driven it away temporarily. "You guys... are you all okay? I-I didn't hurt any of you, did I? Or... it didn't?"

Chase seems to relax as he sees Jack get up, "W-We're okay... I.. I think..."

Mag relaxes somewhat too but he eyes around them. "... we shouldn't linger here- we should try to find another safe spot..."

Chase nods and gets to his feet, holding Alt against him again. "Uh- first off let's get away from this big hole thing- freaks me out..."

"Yeah..." Jack breathes. He stands to his feet, staggering as he gets used to controlling his own body again. "Maybe... maybe now that it's gone we can go back to the hospital. O-or we could try to find a park or something. That'd be nice. I don't know. What do you guys think?" The group starts to walk away from the construction site.

"Park is good..." Chase mumbles, "I... I don't want to risk drawing that thing again..."

Alt pants slightly and mumbles a bit against Bro, his shoulders starting to glitch and pixelate. Chase seems to perk up at this.

"Alright." Jack nods. "Let's see if we can find one." He doesn't want to walk too much. Just having that thing in his head pushes him to exhaustion. It always uses all his strength at once, unable to feel the effects of such effort.

Luckily, they find a park soon. It's rather small, square in shape and fenced-in. But there are a lot of trees and planted flowers, and a small man-made arm-wide creek cutting across the center. Jack sits down under a large willow tree, liking how its drooping branches give him privacy. "This is good."

Chase looks around and laughs slightly, "Y-Yeah wow... this is really pretty actually." He sits down next to Jack and sets Alt down to lay with his head in his lap.

Mag studies this and then disappears to go sit on one of the branches above them.

Chase looks up and squints, ".... can't you be normal for once?"

Mag grins, "Nope~"

Bro rolls his eyes and then looks over at Jack, "...you okay dude? That was... that was super intense..."

Jack pauses, unsure how to say this. "I've... been through worse," he says slowly. "With that whole... situation, too. What just happened." He looks up into the tree. "You're right. It is pretty." Nice to know there were still beautiful things in the world.

Chase gives him a sad smile.

"Alt. Are... you okay? You were in my head, I-I kinda knew what was happening. There was a moment there... just, are you okay?"

Alt slowly blinks open his eyes and seems to relax a bit more at taking in the fresh air. He winces for a second before glitching to sit upright, giving him and Bro a bit of space- and so he can see Jack properly. He meets Jack's eyes and Jack can see the flicker of fear in them. But, he looks away and tries to say, "Yeah.. i'm..." Then, he pauses and he swallows thickly, tears starting to brim in his eyes. "...no actually- im... i'm not okay..."

Chase looks confused and worried, "W...What happened?"

Jack sighs. "Do you remember... when we first met? After Sangria left, I made some comment about what if you have a friend in a red hood, and you freaked out?" He pauses. "I had the thought back then, but... if you were so sure I didn't think I should question you. But what it said to Alt while they were both in my head... it implies I was right." He pauses. "Wondering about yourselves in this world... is pointless. We've met them."

Chase's eyes widen, "Wait... no that... that can't be-"

"It is," Alt says in a wavering voice, "These... these horror things- they're us. This is another parallel universe... but one where all of us are fucking horror monsters...! I'm that- g-glitchy thing- it called you Misery, Chase. And It said ours cats were the same."

Mag stiffens but then sighs and looks at the lingering fog, "... i guess that makes sense."

Alt laughs a bit through his tears, "... Notarzt... m-must be Schneep right? The accents... and... Sangria is Jackie... but I... I guess I'm the worst of them... t-that's why Notarzt got scared-" He bites his lip as it wavers and he holds his knees close to his chest.

"You are not it, Alt," Jack says fiercely. "You may be parallels, but that doesn't mean you're the same. I know that because you saved me when it... it probably would've been easier to run away and leave me there. I can't believe that someone who'd do that is the same as the thing that... that tormented me for so long." He shakes his head. "If you believe that you're the same, then you have to believe that all of your friends are the same as the creatures here. Do you think that?"

Alt is quiet for a beat, letting his tears fall quietly. Then, he shakes his head. "no... no- I could never... even Mag doesn't seem as bad as these things..."

"Normally I'd be offended by such a statement-" Mag says haughtily. "... but I'm inclined to agree..."

Chase goes to put hand on Alt's shoulder and smiles at him, "I know it sucks... seeing a version of yourself that is just... completely wrong. It makes you doubt a lot of things... but you are you, Alt. You don't act like these things do... you're good, baby bro. I can promise you that..."

Jack nods. This feels like a moment he shouldn't interrupt.

Alt takes a shuddering breath but does his best to nod to the others. He doesn't know what else to say... because even if he felt so disconnected from the other Antis he's met... in some ways- he felt... exactly the same. And that scares him more than anything. What if who he used to be- is just his default? Is he gonna turn into an awful person who hurts others for fun? What if this is something he can't change? Every universe they go to just makes him more and more convinced- even if he wants so desperately for it to be different.

Chase looks at Alt sadly and then sighs, leaning back. "... at least... that is a mystery solved... even if it sucks balls to hear. Hard to imagine that weird house demon thing was- me I guess. Seems far off if you ask me!" He tries to laugh.

Jack shrugs. “If there’s a multiverse, it’s probably infinite. Anything can happen.” He pauses, then gives a small smile. “But out of everything that could be, I’m glad it all came together so I could meet you two.”

Chase and Alt smiles warmly at Jack. Chase beams, "Ditto! You're a neat dude, Jack! I dunno if we would have even made it without you."

The smile disappears again. “How are you feeling… physically? I don’t know how easy or difficult possession is for you.”

Alt takes stock of himself and shrugs, "...m'still kinda weak- achy... but its hard to tell if its different from the wounds or not. I feel like I have some of my energy back though so... i guess those drugs are finally wearing off."

"Should hope they are, you were going through detox all night at the hospital," Jack mutters. "Anyway, glad to hear it. Maybe... maybe you just need a little more rest. Then you guys can get out of here."

"Yeah... possessing stuff does tire me out so... probably need to wait a bit more..." Alt mutters.

Chase looks around, "Hey- maybe we can get you changed into those better clothes now. ...so it doesn't look like we just kidnapped a hospital patient." He laughs.

"Oh shit, yeah." Jack had dropped the bag during the possession at the construction site, but luckily he'd had the presence of mind to grab it again. He passes it over. "Hope it's alright. It might be a bit big, I wanted to err on the side of caution. But I think I chose good options. Maybe a little cheesy." That last comment is directed at the T-shirt, which is black with Out Of written on it, then a picture of the control key on a keyboard.

Alt blinks a bit and takes out the t-shirt to look at it. He laughs, grinning wide. "heh... it's perfect. Thanks, Jack."

Bro laughs, "You nailed his style dude! He has like a million of those kinda shirts at home!"

Alt flushes at this but he does laugh, "Tech pun shirts are just fun, what can I say?"

Alt soon hurries off to find a place to change, eager to get out of the hospital clothes.

Luckily the park is empty. There are no real constructed buildings here, but the trees are clustered close enough together to provide adequate cover.

When he returns, Jack is slumped back against the tree trunk, eyes closed, messing with the eye-patch but not removing it. The drying blood is irritating.

Alt comes back, pulling his jacket on over his new shirt and jeans. He looks a lot more comfortable now, even if he's still limping on his right leg. He glitches to sit back down with everyone and then flops onto his back, sighing a bit in relief. Chase smiles at him. Magnificent is lounging on the branch, watching them all.

Jack opens his eye. "Heh... you look great, Alt. That really does suit you. Well, then... I guess we just sit here and relax, then."

Chase settles to sit against the tree trunk, closing his eyes.

Alt turns his head to smile at Jack, "Thanks dude-" He lays back down and tries to snap his fingers- seeing if he can feel his powers a bit better.

...Yes, in fact. Alt's powers respond quickly. Not quite as quick as usual, but much faster than just a few minutes ago. Maybe pushing away that... that creature... did undo some sort of block. It's worrying that it was able to block his powers in the first place, but they won't be here for much longer, anyway.

Alt sits up in a bit of excitement at feeling more of his magic. He pulls out the TRVLR and tries to see if he has enough to finish powering it up.

It responds instantly. The jump button is no longer grayed out. The warning button is still there, of course, but that's probably going to stay there until they leave this universe.

Where would they go next, anyway? If Alt scrolls through the universe list for a bit, he sees more UA prefixes than U or UF. What did they mean, anyway? UA brought them back to a modern setting, but it also brought them to a place with dangerous monsters. Maybe... maybe play it safe this time. None of the U universes have that little warning exclamation mark next to them. Even if something goes wrong, they wouldn't end up somewhere dangerous if they aimed for there. Here. U-1227118IV. When they're ready to go, that seems like a good place to start.

Mag hears the sound of the TRVLR and appears down next to Alt in a burst of static. "Is it ready?"

Alt jumps and glitches in place, holding the TRVLR up in the air away from Mag, "Jesus Christ!" He glares at Mag and then sighs, "Yeah- it's ready... I think i found one that... wont kill us at least- if it's not home."

Chase blinks open his eyes and smiles before looking back at Jack. His and Alt's face falls as they look back at him.

"...we should probably go," Alt says quietly, "...just in case."

Bro goes to lightly touch Jack's arm, "...are you gonna be okay?"

Jack laughs. "I'll live. By god, I'll live. Fuckers aren't gonna take me down." The laughter fades, but a small smile remains. "I think... meeting you all has helped. Yes, even this guy." He gestures at Mag. "Picturing a world without things out there hunting down people gives me a little bit of hope. That... somewhere out there, people are alright. Even if they have to deal with other shit. You know? And... like I said, I hope you guys don't come back here. But I'll remember you. And that means something."

Chase grins wide and lightly punches Jack in the shoulder, “Hell yeah dude! I’ll remember you- I swear I will.”

Alt smiles softly, “Yeah… I got something that’ll make me think of you now. …never let these fuckers wear you down, Jack. You’re hella strong for getting this far…”

Mag makes a face at Jack but- he doesn’t look like he hated hearing that.

Alt sighs and then grabs Mag and Bro.

Bro makes sure they have everything and then two finger salutes Jack. “Give ‘em hell, Jack!”

Alt smirks and nods. Then he clicks the jump button.

The three of them fall again, and then they are gone.

Jack stares at the spot where they were. He sighs a little. Though it sucks to be on his own again, he'd rather they be safe than with him. And god only knows this world isn't safe. Not for the people in it, much less people from elsewhere who aren't used to it. He'll remember them. Even if they forget him like everyone else, he'll remember them.

He tilts his head back and stares up into the branches of the trees. Sunlight filters through. Everything is green and yellow and blue. There are birds chirping.

That's nice.

[k--havok]

sorry ive been dead for the past week+ a LOT has happened again so complaining under the cut i suppose.

2024 keeps giving me whiplash and it's like I cannot get a break. I finished my TMS therapy finally and like. I have no idea if I am doing better or not but at least its over with. I'm dreaming again which is nice. And I finally got my sleeping pills back but I've been off them for so long that I now have to readjust to them and its been kinda difficult. Pair that with all the sleep debt I've accumulated and it's been a bit rough. At the very least this is the first weekend I've had in over a month where I have not been taking 3 hour long naps every day so that's good.

What's not good is the fact my estranged aunt on my dad's side of the family died in what looks to be an OD. Horrible way to go. I was not close to her at all as my dad's side of the family is certifiably nuts and I want nothing to do with them, but now there's an issue with inheritance regarding my aunt. Her older sister, and my other aunt, is supposed to contact me regarding said inheritance as its supposed to be 50/50 but she has not yet. Which is no surprise really as she is a very greedy person and will try and cut me out of whatever I am owed. So I may have to get a lawyer or something. Idk. My mom is going to help me out with this but this is just another headache I will have to deal with. Luckily, due to the TMS therapy, my anxiety is managed so I'm not panicking about this yet but. Still. I just want this to be over with.

My patients at work have also been difficult. Not personality wise but they've just been so complicated. They come to us half-dead on their last legs and it's heartbreaking but with all the comorbidities I can only do so much to help them. I ain't jesus and I cannot perform miracles. I get home from work and just pass out in bed since I'm so emotionally and mentally drained. It doesn't help that I've found out that some of my previous patients have died not long after seeing them and I really do not need to know that. I do not need existential dread at 2:00 AM while staring at brain waves.

Aaand I've just. Been trying to rest I think. I've been so stressed out these past few months that the little brain power I have left over has been going to video games, cooking, and managing my kitten. Writing has been pushed out of the way which is sad as I do have ideas and think about my blorbos often. But I cannot seem to put any of that mental energy into like. Actually fleshing out their stories. Instead I think about stupid shit or smut which is lovely but unhelpful.

Hopefully I'll come back from this mini hiatus soon. Sometimes an epiphany will hit me like a train and I'll jump in feet-first back into writing and interacting here. But it may take a while, as I am an extreme introvert and it's hard for me to interact with more than one or two people at a time.

I'll just. Continue to work on it through therapy and hopefully that will help me along.

[aceaceace144616]

Welcome, Caller

by M Dean Wright

my thoughts in a nutshell: "oh no hes just like me fr"

ok i dont really review books or anything, thats my friend's job (cheeky promo alana_the_bibliophile on instagram) nah yeah but this one was just so good.

firstly, as a neurodiverse bi trans dude i related so hard to Malcom (the main character) with the overloads and insecurities and just everything. i may or may not have to get this entire transcript tattooed upon my person cos it just hits so close to home in places i didnt even realise until the book brought them to my attention.

like the whole thing about Malcolm not going after things that will make him happy (Peter) just cause he feels like hes so fucked up ± messing something up on purpose before you can mess it up by accident vibes. i literally said (in a squidward impression cos that is important information) "oh no hes just like me for real" out loud on a bus (but it was a loud bus so no one heard) (hopefully). also another thing, Peter telling Malcolm about his auDHD and what he likes + dislikes about sensory stuff. and Malcolm believing and respecting him. i just. its such wish fulfilment. that along with the rest of the story, its all just wish fulfilment. having multiple queer and neurodiverse friends that help you when youre struggling and will beat up your unsupportive family members. (also having a dude think youre hot. wouldnt mind)

secondly, it was just a good read. like i really enjoyed reading it, which hasnt happened for a while. it made me smile and laugh in public (which i never do). fr i was having a giggle on the bus, in class, in doctors waiting rooms, everything. i actually looked forward to reading it as well and i had to trudge through other stuff just so i could get back to it.

lowkey gives love simon vibes (from what i remember of the book when i read it in like 2018), just chock full of natural and believable sounding dialogue and references to things im sure ill actually like. (in my notes app on my old phone i went through the book and wrote down all the references made in love simon and it was pretty extensive (and now i have to do this for this book. oh no guess ill have to read it again oh this is so sad whelp better start now see ya)).

and like the friendship between the characters, the dialogue never felt too forced and they talked like actual people id talk to. swearing at and bullying your friends is a love language and it was done pretty well in this, and also the sending of memes being like an important step in a friendship is too real. also the revival of interest in records, my cousins poor bank account is a testament to that being relatable.

thirdly, the story. we got enemies to friends to lovers, we got 'there was only one bed', we got a road trip, we got a sickfic, and so much more and you know that i ate it up every time.

that as well as the epic highs and lows of making friends in your 20s (lol).

the book follows Malcolm slowly becoming friends with this irl dude Peter while falling for this 'mysterious' radio host Rebo, with his friends supporting him the whole time.

like i dont really go for romantic style stories but this was just so good (but then again ive barely read anything since back when i used to inhale books at like age 12) + the chemistry between Malcolm and Peter was just chefs kiss so good man.

also, the name Goby (one of his friends) kinda got me tho ngl, gobby is australian slang for… something, and i got a jump scare whenever they showed up lol.

Edit: they Goby on my Gumby till I Cheese. I'm so fucking sorry I had to write that down I couldn't get to sleep.

the only bad thing about the book (not that its bad bad, just like if i had to pick something) would be that the ending was made out of like 3 epilogues with indeterminable time skips between them. unless i missed something idk. im just more about the 'the characters kept on living' kinda ending, less 'albus serverus potter' style stuff, not that it was even like that tho.

but also wanting to own and run an incredibly specific cafe+store with your partner is just so fucking gay. oh my god. fanfiction shit right there /pos.

lastly, i haven't read heaps of books in the last couple years, preferring movies and shows more than my childhood self who lived in books series, almost like i didnt like reality or something (unthinkable ik)(i literally had this printed out and hung on my wall)(and on me liking movies more, thats a whole nother fucking topic and a half so ill complain about it in another post)(but anyway).

like honestly, i think that i might get back into reading, even though i forgot how many hours just fly by when i read, cos this was just great. (dont tell my mum she'll throw a fucking party)(again, different topic).

also admittedly, i did sotra kinda maybe slightly pirated it and read it off a pdf BUT! cos i like it so much im probably going to buy a physical copy (for almost 40 fucking dollars including shipping Jesus fucking Christ)

ik not a single person but me will see this review but i dont care. this book was made for me about me

tldr:

[moomoocowman]

If reading this, read at your own risk.

I cant sleep and decided to dump to hopefully

Let me sleep. We can have a conversation soon

If like but this is cathartic to me for me. To let out.

Sleep on the floor music video fucked me up good. Not to mention the time of when i watched it how much of a shitty weekend i had and now it feels like again we are doing the step back and i dont like it so

If you want me show it. If not tell me. Figuring it out without doing anything isnt working. It never has. This cycle used to be months to month to months to now week to week. Waiting and waiting hoping that we can talk can get somewhere but never the case. Youre losing me. And i dont want that to happen but at the same time what am i to do. What else could i possibly be and strive for. Youre right i have done everything i needed. I say its both of us but im at this finish line trying to cheer you on to help but i feel ignored.

I get like this because my patience is all but gone and i dont know what i want. Kinda like how you said by you know who you want. I get things have to be hard but it shouldnt be this hard at this point yet it is. I get insanely jealous because someone else has/is living in the shoes that i want to be in. I get insanely moody because as much as i think i overreact which i know i do still, everything that has happened to me before has happened in this at one point but ive learned to handle it. Not that i say its whatever but its why i get upset because i dont want that. This strived off being different and wholesome and unconditional.

My trust is thinning because everything after everything repeats and nothing changes. Im told the same things and feel like half. I guess thats another reason for my silence sometimes because i dont expect to be lovey dovey all the time but last week saying youd want to be alone with me rather than be alone… then proceed to want to be alone monday night which respect to your wishes but ive hardly talked to you and hear your voice let alone see you these past 2 months and that kinda really hurt.

You dont owe me anything just as i dont owe you. You are your own person i have always told you this and ive been respectful of you but again i dont think ive been respectful to me and my wishes and what i want what i need. Your own life just as i have my own life. Choose whatever you want to do but talk to me. Busy let me know. Need a break i get it but let me know.

Time is always and is not of the essensce. Time may be moving at a faster than ever especially right now but dictating where that time goes managing what where who for you. This is why i ask is this what you want because time goes everywhere but here or what we want and if it does its very little and we are stumped.

Idk man. Im in love and this is why its scary because i love hard but risking it is almost worth and thats why i worry about certainty. Would running away be the most ideal thing to just leave everything everyone start anew yes. How fucking glorious that sounds rn. But what does running do when everything catches back up. Instead of facing the hardship and impact head on how is anything expected to grow.

Living this cycle this feeling having to meet every dead line or to please everyone (ironic and hypocritcal of me). You say you have so much confidence when i speak but the things i say and do is to help you feel for your own. To help propel what it is or isnt that you want.

Selfishly in every way possible do not let this fade away. Do not become a past. Work with me on a plan and ill show you what it is this can be what we can have how we can either look back at this together and smile or we can look back at this as individuals and wonder. I have my boundaries you have yours lets compromise. Stay true to ourselves as much as possible. Just tell me something. Dont lie to me or leave me to linger.

[indigo474]

122023

sick but not sick- i dont know what the deal is. I need to run.. NEED NEED.. ahhh how do i make myself get out of my warm cozy bed when it is 26 outside?? HOW... i was NOT feeling today.. i swear the air felt heavy.. how is that even possible? it's not.. it's me.. everyone is sick and i cant make up my mind.. my back hurt all day at work.. i get home and it stops hurting. my plan... sleep.. i didnt get enough sleep last night .. the last 2 nights.. i regret every morning i dont run. i am forced to go to meetings and sit in small runs with people who are obviously sick. there are more gifts under the tree for me than for Madison. she is thrilled with herself. maybe not more but she got me a lot... and she is happy to be able to do it which is nice. tonight she's not speaking to me because i ask stupid questions. she's nervous to be working overnight. i'm not sure how i feel about it. I really dont like the idea of her being out at 3am. People get mean this time of year.. i wish everyone would just relax. everyone just relax.. it's all going to be ok. Weird thing.. since i don't watch the news or live tv hardly ever.. i feel like i have missed so much.. ive missed years. every once in a while i'll come across something that happened in the past and i'll be amazed that it happened and i had no idea.. i don't miss watching tv but there are times when i'll find out something happened 3 years after the fact and it feels... like i'm disconnected from what is happening in the world. i don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing or neither.. i've become more connected to myself and i know that's a good thing. when i do watch the news and tv, after a few hours it's like i never stopped watching it. i would say i was probably addicted to watching the news.. for years. i'm sure it didnt help with my anxiety and maybe NOT watching has helped my nervous system. speaking of anxiety.. very very little... it's amazing what time can do.. any anxiety i have is work related..i am rambling - i do have a story about fog. Ohh Marci wants to start a youtube channel and wants me to be on it- telling my story. i'm pretty positive that's not going to happen..i 'm gonna drag my yoga mat upstairs.. make a cup of sleepy time tea, read the Gita.. and hopefully sleep well.

[tworoadsandapenny]

TMNT Christmas Carols: IV. Silent Night

The final instalment of this group. I'm considering writing a few more this year, but we'll see where my muse is come the holiday season.

This one is my love letter to Splinter from the 2012 version. I love most versions of Splinter, but I think I can definitively say he was my favorite.

~~~~~~

IV. Silent Night

“Increased precipitation levels are wreaking havoc all across the city, causing most major subway lines to shut down. With temperatures at a record low, schools and offices have closed until the blizzard dissipates. A good day to stay inside and drink some hot coco with the family. Hopefully things’ll clear up in the next few days, or the Big Man might not get to deliver his presents! We’ll keep you updated on power outages and weather reports over the next few hours, and don’t forget...”

The car, finally churning free of it’s snow prison, drove out of sight, it’s radio no longer in earshot. Yoshi squinted his eyes through the wisps of wind, clutching tightly at his robe to fend off the cold. It had been three days of constant snow and howling wind, and there didn’t look to be an end in sight. The city, normally bustling with the busy and the homeless, looked deserted as a sunken ship. Most stores were closed, and those that weren’t couldn’t be stocked. Even the Christmas tree at Rockefeller was devoid of it’s usual crowds of families and tourists.

It was the season of giving, and the weather was being bitterly generous.

Yoshi shrugged the snow from his shoulders, making his way across the street to the next dumpster. Despite how barren the city looked, it was still difficult to get around. He’d never experienced a blizzard like this, and he was wholly unprepared. Thankfully, he was provided an extra layer of warmth from his thick fur.

This was his first winter, after all. His first not as a human.

The thought was strange. It had been months since his transformation, and still Yoshi wasn’t sure he’d truly accepted what had happened. His mind was constantly trying to pass it off as a dream or elaborate hallucination. Even as he looked at his own hands—paws?—he couldn’t convince himself it was possible. Real.

Enough, Yoshi. Now wasn’t the time to focus on such things. He had to be quick.

Sifting through trash can after trash can, he made his way through the streets as quickly as was possible in the cold. Finally, he’d finished his circuit and made it back to the manhole nearest his home. Dropping down to the sewers brought protection from the relentless wind, for which Yoshi was grateful. His whiskers were frozen, his fur was like ice, and his whole body ached for sleep.

Almost home.

What he wouldn’t give for a warm bed right now. His old home, with his many blankets and his heaters and his hot tea. Oh, how he missed tea. This time of year, he’d be comfortable under the kotatsu, watching the lights of the Christmas tree dance as he sipped his green tea and held his wife close—

Yoshi snapped his eyes shut. Too soon… the pain of his loss was still too raw. Would there ever be a time when he could think back on his wife and not feel grief tear him apart? Glancing at his hand, he idly wondered what she would think… would she be repulsed by his horrid appearance as it was now? Would his daughter?

No. No matter. The past was the past. That life he’d had was gone now. And no amount of nostalgia or regret would bring it back. There was nothing he could do now but think forward.

Nothing he could do…

Sifting through his small bag of scraps, he couldn’t help the disappointed sigh that escaped; half the items he’d gone looking for couldn’t be found, and the rest were all in very rough shape (who’d have thought he’d actually miss shopping). He did, however, manage to find one discarded mitten and a scarf—likely blown off in the wind—and that was what he needed most now. Warmth. While the sewers were free of the wind for the most part, they were also deeper into the ground, and very cold. And Yoshi had yet to find anywhere secluded enough that had heating. If only he could go back to his apartment, just for the winter months…

This would have to be enough.

A spike of worry in his heart brought speed to his feet as Yoshi remembered his need to get home. He made his way to the abandoned subway station, his heart pounding with each step. The closer he came to home, the more worried he became; the area was too quiet. Shouldn’t they be making some kind of noise? What if someone had found them!? Had they frozen in the time he was gone!? He couldn’t have been away that long, could he?

There was no grace to the way he made his way deeper into his house, until he came to a large box, covered in scraps of discarded cloth and dirty towels. He all but threw the coverings off, his imagination fearing the worst.

And there they lay, four tiny turtles tots, all huddled together in a pile, sleeping peacefully.

Yoshi breathed a deep sigh of relief. They were safe and sound. He reached his hand in to caress one of their cheeks, and immediately felt his heart spike with worry once more; their skin was freezing! He pulled them from the box as gently as he could, one by one, wrapping them in the items he’d found. The smallest fit inside the glove, two were able to be wrapped in the scarf, and the fourth he tucked into his robe, hoping and praying his body could provide enough heat, despite how cold his fur was.

Foolish. So foolish! They’re cold blooded, of course they’d freeze in this weather. They can’t regulate body heat like he can. He should have found some way to keep them warm without leaving. What if they—!

His troubled thoughts were interrupted by a loud yawn from the one in his robe, it’s small pupils peeking open to stare right at his face. Yoshi was drawn in by the deep blue of it’s eyes, already so strong. So… trusting. It made a gurgling sound that Yoshi could only guess was a good sign, and wiggled around to burry it’s face in his chest, it’s small hand gripping his fur as it fell back asleep.

Yoshi smiled helplessly.

He picked up the other three and placed them in his lap, preparing to sit for as long as necessary to keep them warm until the sun returned to the city.

Yes, these past few months had certainly been an unimaginable time, and his mind was still unwilling to believe what had happened. He missed what he had taken for granted, and he had no idea how he was to adapt to life as this… creature. But being together with these little ones—his little ones—his heart accepted the truth. No questions, no regrets.

“Daijoubu…” He caressed the cheek of the smallest one in the mitten, unable to shake the smile from his face. “I will take care of you. I promise.”

As it was meant to be.

~~~~~~

Previous < - > Masterpost

I'm a sucker for baby turtles AND father/son relationships. Double whammy. Sue me.

End of Line.

-TRAaP

*"Daijoubu" means "it's alright" or "it's okay" in Japanese.

[uncloseted]

Does the IUD hurt really bad? I don't want to get the insertion in my arm bc I have hormonal acne already, and I'm scared id forget when taking the pill. I'm just really scared the IUD would hurt really bad bc ive never had kids and I'm pretty much a virgin.

It really depends on the person, what you do before the appointment, and the office where you get the IUD inserted. Many doctors offer medicine to help numb the cervix before the IUD is put in, since some people feel cramping or pain when they’re getting the IUD placed. If you're worried about pain, you can search for doctors that offer an anesthetic as an option. Other doctors will recommend that you take a pain medication before the procedure to help prevent cramps.

Even without anesthetic, the process of getting an IUD is painless for some people. That said, about 70% of people do experience some pain when the IUD is being inserted. This pain is usually comparable to strong period cramps and lasts only one or two minutes. The entire process takes about five minutes.

Many people feel perfectly fine after they get an IUD and can go back to work or school the same day without any issues. Some people do experience cramping or backaches similar to period pain after getting an IUD, which is totally normal. Those intermittent cramps usually last a few days when they happen and typically aren't too painful. Less commonly, cramping can sometimes come and go for several months after IUD insertion. If you currently have painful periods, you may be at an increased risk for more pain during the insertion process or after it. If you have vaginismus or a tilted uterus, the procedure may be more painful as well.

To reduce your risk of a painful procedure, make sure that you go to a reputable office that inserts IUDs often. The more experience they have, the more aware of different pain management options they'll be, and the less likely it is that you'll get an IUD that's placed incorrectly or have a procedure that causes an injury to your uterus. If you do decide to get one, schedule your appointment during the last few days of your menstrual cycle, as that will make the IUD easier to insert. Before your appointment, make sure you eat well, sleep, and are hydrated. Dehydration, exhaustion, and hunger can make the insertion process worse and contribute to more pain afterwards. Taking ibuprofen or naproxen before and after the procedure can also help to minimize any pain.

The good news is that once you get an IUD, it can last up to twelve years (depending on the type you get). So for a lot of people, even though it runs the risk of being painful, it's worth getting an IUD to avoid worrying about birth control for such a long period of time. The other benefit is that IUDs often reduce period symptoms or get rid of them entirely, so even though the initial process is painful, it can actually prevent pain in the long run (Mirena and Liletta are best for this- the copper IUD may make period pain worse).

If you're want a birth control option that you don't have to maintain on a daily basis but an IUD isn't for you, your other option is the depo-Provera Shot. This is an injection you get from your doctor once every three months that prevents ovulation. About three-quarters of women stop getting their period altogether after 2-3 shots, so it can provide similar period pain relief benefits as the birth control pill or an IUD. It's about 96% effective at preventing pregnancy in typical use and 99% effective with perfect use, so similarly effective to other birth control options you might consider.

Ultimately, it's a super personal choice, and there's no right or wrong answer. All decisions that we make in life have some degree of trade-off, and making medical choices is no different. But the good news is that there are a lot of good choices available to you, and hopefully you can find one that works and that you feel comfortable with.

[strangecowplant]

UPDATE

ill have to get to my replies later but i need to update right now

teddy was getting even worse, the meds were horrible to him and he just started to take a dive. he was dead weight, couldn't stand it was devastating to see him trying to pee or do anything really only to just fall. he was confused, scared, couldnt sleep for more than a couple minutes after having literally tried to calm him like a baby. this wasn't your typical sedative, calming med loopiness this was extreme, ive never seen a cat act this way before, let alone while on relaxants. its hard to explain but when you've experienced cats pass before you just know the signs and he was showing them rapidly later in the morning. i had another total breakdown so mom took the reigns and called them and absolutely ripped them apart. they're at fault for this getting worse, for this horrible medication, for not leaving the catheter in for longer like i said i wanted so he wouldnt have to go through that procedure AGAIN, its invasive enough ONCE let alone 2 or 3 times, for not ensuring he could pee on his own before just sending him off carelessly, for not communicating and hyperfocusing on money for issues that arent even an issue night now and could be done later. blockages are difficult to address as is, but the way they went about it made it even worse. the vet told us to get him in right away for the reaction to the new medication, and we were firm that we are NOT paying this is their fault I'm amazed teddy was able to make it through the night, he's so incredibly strong

as much as i dont ever want to go back there im doing everything for him and we raced him there, they're going through all kinds of checks to make sure he's ok and also working on his peeing. he had a wet bowl movement before i got the call, which couldve been from the sudden change to his prescription diet, the new med, the situation or anything, but was so weak he couldnt even stand so it got all over him, i had to wash him off and that seemed to kind of kick him into moving again, not much but a lot more than i had seen all morning after becoming exhausted, almost like it switched him back on to keep fighting.

so far he's doing well his bp is only slightly high due to the stress of being there but hes inflamed which also is making the urine they can push out tinged with blood. they're monitoring him constantly in fact she (this is a different vet from the owner, ive had good experiences with her) said he's being held almost all the time by another staff member, she will be giving him a boost of antibiotics as an injection and a single anti inflammatory since he got his bloodwork done and he doesnt have any kidney or liver issues or anemia/anything else. they offered for me to stay with them there so i can be with him but i needed to get back to my other babies to make sure they dont stress more either, i have to keep them healthy too so im getting updates over the phone. hes eating there hopefully thatll give him a boost of energy because though they can bring him out and walk him around/play hes still very sleepy. he hasnt peed but his bladder isnt full either, i asked why since he was drinking like crazy and she said its likely because he's dribbling tiny amounts almost constantly, his blanket has some small spots (i noticed when he was home his peepee was wet a lot but no full pees) im going to be grabbing him again soon before they close and then taking him back first thing in the morning for her to check his bladder again, if its full and hard again she's putting a catheter in again. she's also giving me a prescription for a bladder relaxer thats non drowsy, but its a gamble what pharmacies have it. we still are firm we are not paying, i'm still so scared because if they DO try to ding us with the bill we will absolutely be out of donations to help, the last bill was $606, on top of that all the gas needed to even get there and back is crushing, and i have no idea what will happen but its not something i can even think about right now

idk how its going to go we're just taking this one step at a time, my anxiety has made me so sick i want this nightmare to be over with and him at home safe and sound.

again thank you all so much for your concerns for my boy, all the help, the donations, the kind words its incredible how many are wishing and working for his recovering ill update again and get to replies as well when i can

please help me pay my kitties emergency vet bill!

ive never done this before but one of my cats just had to get an extremely sudden emergency procedure and i don't know what to do, my vet and i have reached out to a couple incredible programs here to help with the bill but one is less than half and the other hasn't replied back yet, i've already declined the blood work (CA$356) to lower the bill at the risk of possible underlying liver and kidney issues not being found but its still a monumental amount for us right now. i just feel so helpless

we had enough to pay the minimum deposit to get the procedure started in time thankfully, but we were already scraping by as it is and now we're in desperate need of funds to eat/pay rent/pay off any remainder of the bill. i am disabled without aid and have been unable to work/haven't worked since 2015 but am on track to hopefully start working pt this fall. i live with my mom who has 3-4 jobs including one seasonal job which needless to say is stressful and wearing her down. we unfortunately are stuck in the most expensive place to live in canada with the inability to save up to flee so the cycle is never ending.

this is Teddy, my typically very silly vocal happy boy who's not quite 2 yet, my comfort king, my little muffin who acts like a weighted blanket for me at night and eases my anxiety, his favourite toy is his pink unicorn poof, he loves car rides and he can shake paw!

he got a sudden urinary blockage last night with no straight answer as to why and progressively got worse as the night went on, i didnt sleep at all, i was panicking and bawling, naturally, and raced to the vet to get in as soon as the door opened. i assumed it was a uti which wouldn't have been as costly, but it turned out to be much more severe and life threatening. i never expected my usually extremely healthy boy to suddenly be at risk of that and im still trying to just process whats been happening

he needed to be sedated and given a catheter and some medication, the total bill came to CA$985.62, of which we were barely able to pay 500 of, and one program was able to donate 300 leaving a total of CA$185.62 for the bill. this, of course, leaves us scrambling for food and rent as well

i know there are a lot of fundraisers out there needing donations right now, and i really hate letting myself be so open and raw like this but even a dollar would help tremendously and i would be forever grateful for any help whatsoever, even a rb to signal boost is greatly appreciated <3

TLDR; my cat had a sudden life threatening issue and now we can't pay the full vet bill or pay for food/rent

Paypal

[cold-arrow]

Doctor's Notes, entry ??

New fifth book, part 9 | The Road to Recovery |

Summary, things of note since last entry: stuck in bathtub, and no idea what to do. moisturizer, Lym ran off. Baras’s  insensitivity the priestess of Timora, certainty in the lack of hope we return to Waterdeep, (Kolbaz's insight) Lym's miracle, Baras' reserach. Lady silverhand, GayUncleGym/Gauntylgrim. Mirrorbar, horses, track into the valley Khedrun The stone giant. the path to the city

|

1 / 9 | didn’t really sleep that well, that night. im not sure if it was because ive been stuck in here, stationary for so long, or because of the disease. ( or whatever other reason, like being submerged in water. in a small uncomfortable bath ) I woke up the following morning rather exhausted. tried to do an experiment though. see If I could breathe water, or had started to develop gills yet. But I… very much regret trying, for all it accomplished was me nearly suffocating on the slimy water in this bath. (didn’t taste particularly pleasant either.) maybe I should ask the innkeep if they;d be willing to change it out, to get some actual fresh water … Actually nevermind, I cant be bothered. … though his design his a bit patchwork, Lumos’ new chassis seems to atleast be… functional. Definitely will have to make some improvements later though if I can. … tried making the moisturizer that Omrick bought me the ingredients for. but the results were… disappointing. And painful. seems like it reacts rather poorly when applied to my skin, causing some sort aggressive and caustic reaction, which wasn’t particularly pleasant any kind of way. Guess ill have to throw that idea / solution into the trash as well. next up on the stupid idea list. Make a hermetically sealed suit and fill it with water to keep myself hydrated. How complicated can that be right? Especially with Alll my tools and resources at hand. And my now lovely aquatic work environment. … I need to get some proper rest.

| 2 / 9 | I havnt seen Lym since… yesterday. I was thinking about apologizing. I… could probably have put things a lot better than I did. Maybe ill send Lumos instead, with a note. That way, if she doesn’t want to talk, she doesn’t have to.   … Omrick came in again as well. said Lym had disappeared or gone off by herself, not long after she returned to the tavern yesterday. She might just have stormed off as well. don’t know if…  I am the one who’s to blame the most for that, or if something else happened, after she dropped by yesterday. But… I don’t know what to do. Id go looking for her and apologize. But I cant. Im stuck. Don’t think it would help much either. If she left after that, I’d doubt she’d want to see any of us, nor our faces right now. guess, ill just sit here and… do nothing. Worry. I suppose. Don’t have anything better to do besides worry, and stress, and fret and think a…

-- I need to find something to disitract myself. Being left alone with my thought for so long, with nothing to do. isnt good for my mental. I’d try t… trying to research is useless. Getting out of this damned bath is useless. Trying to look for Lym in this damned city is useless. maybe ill count the tiles and boards again. or play go fetch with Lumos.

| 3 / 9 | After drinking my 7th waterskin today. I remembered that I havnt actually refilled Baras Alter-self flask yet. He’s been stuck in his room I think, since we came back. Hopefully refilling it for him means he’ll be able to do stuff, and not be as bored and stuck in his room like I am. Also, making the alter-self elixir means I have something to do as well thankfully. will send Lumos up to him in a bit. … it's not often that id consider Baras to be a fool, or an idiot. But he’s managed to surprise me somehow…. though id like to say that he cant really help his insensitivity and bluntness sometimes, since he still seems to be struggling with the concept of emotions and such. And what they are to him. I… very much understand now, as to why Lym had stormed off and left the tavern yesterday. If my… conversation with her wasn’t already enough to upset her, Baras being offended and actually accusing her  of -- intentionally -- hurting us, definitely would do the trick. it took a bit of coazing, or interrogation, to get the truth and details out of him. But after a few minutes it definitely become clear that, Baras had said some rather upsetting things to Lym, and hadn’t yet fully “realized” the extent or magnitude of mistake just yet. Even after she threw a drink in his face… I knew something was wrong the moment I asked if he knew why lym had left and disappeared. And his vagueness and dodging of answering my questions were more than enough to raise my suspicion. Atleast I have a better idea -- as to whats going on now. Not that I can really DO anything about. Im still stuck in this damned bathtub. I just hope I was able to talk some sense into him. so that if she does return, he can at least Properly talk and apologize to her. Keeping her feelings of guilt, and remorse, and anger -- a bit more in mind. * (maybe I should expedite / move forward my idea of making a mood ring for him. Maybe that’ll help gain him a better sense or grasp on things. such as his own, or others, emotions.)

| 4 / 9 | Lym has been gone -- for quite a while now. Im starting to get more and more worried. She didnt return to the tavern last night, nor this morning. Hopefully she found a decent place to rest and sleep for the night. ? I’d assumed Baras would have gone out to look for her and apologize at this point. Now that ive refilled his flask. But instead its as if he’s just – sulking or moping around in his room. Frozen with either fear or indecision on what he should about his actions, and the things he said. And instead Omrick has now gone out to look for her, which doesn’t necessarily bode well. I doubt he’s gonna improve things much with irritated mood he’s been in lately. I guess I can only hope for the best… Maybe I should send Lumos out instead, to look for her. …            it wasn’t until later that day, in the afternoon, that Lym eventually returned. And she brought company. She had spent most of the morning helping out at a temple of Timora apparently, after asking one of the priestesses if they could perhaps… take a look at me. To try and cure me. Omrick had eventually found her as well. He;d spotted her from outside the temple as she was helping out with some chores. And had waited outside until she eventually left with the priestess once they had a moment to spare The… priestess herself was a curious sort. But I guess that goes for most clerics at a temples I suppose. But her being a servant to the Lady of luck, definitely made her a bit more… odd? than most priests ive encountered. She did carry herself with conviction, and dignified manner. And while I, have never been a great believer of luck, She -- definitely seemed to have that conviction. we tried explaining my condition the best we could, and her conclusion was pretty similar to healers that had visited the Rosilio family it seems. A greater restoration Should alleviate me of my disease, and affliction. She grabbed her components and the required diamond dust, And although I somewhat doubted her – reliability at first, for being a priestess to luck and all. The divine magic she possessed and summoned to try and cure me, were… amazing, Quite Impressive. Yet, it wasn’t enough… once the divine glow of her magic faded, I… was still the same. My skin still translucent and slimy and dehydrated. So it seems like we indeed need something a bit more powerful. if we want to have any hope of curing me. We thanked for atleast trying, and her time and effort. And we offered to make a donation to the temple, in return. But she graciously declined our offer. And simply headed back to her temple, after we nevertheless conveyed to her our gratitude.   there was an awkward silence once she’d left. Omrick had been quiet all this time, and patiently been waiting, observing things. Lym had been a bit quiet as well, but spoke up shortly afterwards. Asking what we should do next, and suggesting that we maybe head back to Waterdeep and Baras’ mansion. Atleast there’s bigger bath there, and there might be some info or knowledge perhaps, in his library that might help. I agreed that it was a good idea. And sincerely thanked for finding a cleric for me. For taking the time look for one and might help figure out how to cure me. -- Omrick gave some snarky comment about how she shouldn’t have left without a word, and disappeared or something, which she didn’t appreciated, and said as much. And I quickly shot him him a warning glance as well. There’s a reason she didn’t. And I wonder as to whether either Baras or Omrick really understand that yet. ( even though we gained some certainty in the fact the greater restoration will not work. Im not really hopeful as to what even might at this point. I decided to make a donation to the temple of Timora nevertheless. As a thank you, and a small compensation for the material costs and gem dusts, and the time of the priestess. If paying Lady luck pays back in tenfold. then it atleast doesn’t hurt to show a bit of gratitude by trying to make a donation, I suppose. )

| 5 / 9 | the following day, we headed back towards Waterdeep. we bought a few wineskins (for my to douse myself in and quench my thirst.) Threw a cloak over me and Baras, and made our way to Mr. Kolbaz’s mansion, early in the morning. he was there to great us this time, when we dropped by. And he actually managed to give us a bit of useful info and insight on my condition. Appearently he actually has heard of the Kuo’Toa before, and gave us some pointers on what to perhaps look for, when we try to do some research the matter. in return I decided to actually give him some of my blood. I’d prepared a vial after we came through last time. however he was curious to have a vial of my blood in my current condition as well. which I didn’t really mind at that point, to be honest. Am curious as to how that’s gonna turn out. Will have to ask him next time we visit. … we managed to get back to the mansion without too much issue. While we were in Yartar, people didn’t really pay much to attention to Baras fortunately. which was a relief. But once we were back in waterdeep and traversing the streets, the stares of other people were… a lot less comfortable. As soon made it trough the front door Baras’ mansion, I immediately headed towards the baths, and dived into water.  And thank the gods ( or Dave I suppose) that the baths in his house are a lot more spacious, larger. I feels as if I finally have some proper breathing room ( not funny) And I can actually properly swim around for a bit now. The… webbing between my hands and feet are certainly Interesting.  Because it does actually make swimming a lot easier, effortless almost. Which shouldn’t be surprise but , I guess that’s atleast one plus if I become a fish person… I wonder if the celestial curse from the pillow is gonna have any effect on my condition as well. *actually nvm. I don’t wanna know. … Asked Otto if he and some of the other skeletons to help me get set up here in the baths. Got a few chairs and stools that I can use as tables now at least. Its been kind of difficult, to keep things dry and not covered in the slime from my skin. So hopefully that should help. Also, If I hadn’t mentioned before, writing like this isn’t the easiest thing either. I have to constantly submerge and then dry my hands, Again, pretty much every minutes. Being careful as to not stain any of my papers, or equipment. maybe I could ask Baras to let my borrow some books from the library. If he’ll allow it. Will have to be even more careful then with my own books and papers though, in that case. Or I fear the wrath he would unleash upon me, if I damaged one of his books…

| 6 / 9 | She did it! She actually managed to do it. Both Lym and Baras actually she dropped by the following day, saying she wanted to try something. And before I could really process what had happened, or prepare myself. I was cured. Healed of my affliction and disease! My skin being its usual normal colour and texture again. I … havnt felt this relieved or – havnt even felt this well in ages. Even some of my smaller physical ailments, such as the pain in my back, or in my neck and hand are gone! We really do not deserve Lym. -- I… guess I finally kind of understand what the proudness of a parent feels like. Or… what my father might have felt, in those very rare moments, when I did actually manage to impress him. Or what my mother might have felt like, if she knew what things I’ve done, and accomplished. if she was still alive I owe Baras as well, appearently he had stayed up most of the night researching in the library to try and find pretty much anything that might be able to help. Jarvis had already narrowed down some of the books for him. And after reading through most of them, he found one that listed a possible cure. I want to try and find a way to repay her, the both of them. Lym used a lot of her energy to cure me. Let alone the time and energy she spend when we’re still in Yartar. The sewers the temple. And ive very much underestimated to sheer magnitude of the knowledge contained in Baras library. I should start spending some time there if I actually want to learn even a fraction of knowledge held there before my death.

| 7 / 9 | With Lym’s brother now being safely out of jail. And with me being cured and no longer at risk of turning into a fish person, or Kuo’toa. The question now is, what do we do next? Baras had send a message to Lady Silverhand to try and schedule an appointment, for a conversation. but it seems like that’s going to take a while, or a bit longer then we expected. For the better or worse. ( not really looking forward to that, so the longer it takes the better actually. ) -- So we either just wait and do nothing. Or… we could perhaps set out again. With Omrick having discovered the location of the ancient dwarven city, and the fact that we have some time to kill / “free time,” I guess we’re going head out and look into that matter of his. Its officially decided, and we’re getting ready to set out. it's pretty important to him it seems. A thing that his father had always talked about. And held great significance to him. Will have to ask some more details about it, along the way. ill admit to atleast being somewhat curious about the idea of an ancient, long lost dwarven city. or capital even.

| Baras got the teleportation coordinates, or runes, to mirrorbar a while back, so we decided to finally try them out. Safe a bit on travel time. -- I think, if I heard correctly, that the ancient long lost dwarven city, was rumoured to be somewhere in the valley of Khedrun. Which means that Mirrorbar is the closest place, I suppose

… The circle in Mirrobar is… rather well hidden apparently. I guess no-one would expect to find such a thing in the hay attic of a barn. The… guardian of place does need to work on his -- acting a bit though. it was rather obvious that he was hiding something up there. But besides his poor acting skills, he seemed like a nice fellow Zaspar Bronzefire ,was his name if I remember correctly, auburn haired young dwarf covered in hay. I Do wonder if he actually knows any magic himself, or if he is just a simple stable hand/owner under contract by the Harpers / LA maybe I shouldn’t write down, this kind of sensitive / classified information. Especially if I end up loosing my notebooks again at somepoint … Oh, and I almost forgot! Veran had succeeded in his mission, the favour I asked of him, And actually found / recovered pretty much most of my belongings. There are a few smaller things that are missing / gone, and probably lost forever. But all my important Magical, and alchemical belongings are here, and back. My supplies, tools and components I bought ( the regeants ) are gone, but I can always find new ones. But, all the things I worked so hard to make, or that we fought to earn or gain. I have them again now. I don’t remember when the last time was, when I actually had felt that happy, or hopefull. Having both been cured of an uncurable desease. And gifted pretty much all my belongings that I had lost. On the same day. Thank you Illmater, thank you Timora, And thank you to my friends.

| 8 / 9 |

The road of Stones our journey, once we left mirrorbar, was mostly uneventful. However, I was stupid enough to forget to buy rations before we set out. Thankfully the others were kind enough to share some of their rations with me, so I at least have something to eat. (doesn’t seem like the barbarians at Svalberg left any of the food I had when the emptied my bag ) It wasnt until a few days later into our journey though, that we encountered a bigger issue... The night before, Omrick had just found a cavern marked by dwarven script, or a symbol. Which contained a very clever sedimentary? map, that gave us further directions on how to reach the gates and entrance to Gauntlgrymm. It’s only dwarves who have the knowledge of, or studied the masonry and geological of their ancestors, who could read it. He was pretty excited to not only find evidence of the city’s existence, but the cleverly concealed map to its exact location as well. It… was during that night however, that Baras had noticed something in the distance. large shapes, that were dragging something behind them. he informed us of the sighting, and that the shapes had stopped to rest for the night, some distance ahead. And that they fortunately hadn’t spotted us. It was hard to tell from of distance, but they appeared to be stone giants. And they were dragging several dead bodies, and possibly lives ones with them. He -- wasn’t particularly keen on facing them, wanting to save his and our strength for the city ahead. But…. If there were dragging not only corpses, but prisoners with them. We couldn’t just abonadon those people right? Lym seemd to doubly agree. And Omrick was confident, as per usual, that he could take them on. And that we should save those people, or atleast stop them. so with that, we set out to ambush them. | 9 / 9 | Remind me, to not underestimate stone giants, or any giants for that matter again in the future. There were only 2 of them. But they proved to be a lot more dangerous then we expected. Both of them. The first one, was a formidable fighter by himself. Far stronger than any hill giant we’ve encountered. But the second one, She… was a incredibly powerful and dangerous caster. Who could have annihilated us for sure, if thing had gone differently. *(she might have even been capable of even casting some the highest level of chronomancy in hindsight. if im not mistaken? ) the warrior, we managed to take down quickly enough. With Omrick taking him down a peg after trading a few blows, untill he was still on the ground. but the terrifying, Geomancy / Seismomancy / Terramancy or whatever magic she had at her disposal. Were powerful enough to summon earthquakes that could level villages and towns in seconds. we took some substantial blows trying to take her down. but outnumbered once the giant warrior had fallen, she eventually turned and fled, only to be taking down by Lym. -- I think Lym took that fight rather personally, this was the first time I think, any of us have seen her fight this aggressively, or offensively, in a while. She summoned some terrifying divine magic to both incinerate, wither, and tear apart the stone giants. The divine flame strikes were definitely something to behold. And she teleported closer towards the female giant, instead of way. Not only once, but twice. The first time crippling her severely. Before finishing her of and killing her the second time.

.

I hope she was able to vent and unleash some of her frustrations from the past week, or two today. For I worry as to what would happen if she directed more of the fury unto us. … the rest of our journey didn’t really provide any futher challenges, and eventually we managed to find The Cave, thanks to the directions that Omrick had found / gotten, from before. It was a bit of journey down. But right now were standing infront of a beautifully carved stone gateway, next to an underground waterfall. The craftmanship on this entrance alone… is amazing. And I can only look forward as to what other structures, and architecture, and other dwarven ruins and buildings that we might found down here.

| Extra | (during one of the previous nights, after the encounter with the stone giants. I had a… rather unsettling dream. we were fighting the stone giants, again. But there were so many more this time. We were all separated, scatted across the battlefield. I was trying to reach them. But… A ravine tore open beneath Baras, as he started to fall into the endless depths of the earth. Omrick was slowly being overwhelmed and crushed into the ground by dozens of giants. And Lym was slowly, painfully turning to stone. being petrified. And I had to watch in horror as I failed to reach any of them. Trying my best to make my away across the gravel, erupted earth and broken stones as they one by one fell. … I didn’t feel particularly great after that, the following day. I just hope that -- it isn’t something foreboding.

[ivant1ll]

It's okay, I got you. I won't let you go. (comfort fic)

. . . Content Desc ! (ノ・ω・)ノ

i am finally back once again after a month. . . ⤿ ;; Mayoi Ayase x Reader ୧ .˚ₓ this is a . . . sad fluff // (technically angst but.. good relationship) -> TW : overall bad mental state, mentions of su!cidal thoughts. i've had this idea for a fic like this for some time technically to help me out at one point. but, now ive finally decided to actually work on it so this hopefully helps you just as it helped me. ILY <3 you're so pretty/handsome and keep on slaying !!! ^^ word count : 2099 [[ another long one.. sorry ! ]]

, , i kinda felt like changing up my formatting a bit for stuff so. . . hope it looks nice ! `` for once im not going to really write a setting up the scene, i just wanna get into things, seeing as theres not much setup i can really think of . . . ENJOY (ꈍᴗꈍ)

Staring at the ceiling for hours has become a norm for you as of late. Eyes heavy and tired, bloodshot red from having given into your feelings and bursting into tears once again. Your head can only simply register one thing, a single thought, "Why am I so tired?" But you know why you're tired, you know why you're here. But that's the last thing you want to think about. Maybe if you were to isolate your thoughts so much, it wouldn't seep out onto others, you wouldn't infect them with your incredible burnout and awful mental state. Maybe, if... you just weren't here anymore, you wouldn't have to let anybody down?

It's felt as if almost everything around you is slowly crashing down, the fact that it's all happened so slowly only makes it even worse. Like a "fuck you" that never goes away. Almost as if your new constant stresses and worries don't take up all the time in your day. Eating and sleeping have never felt like such a task, even as little as you've partaken in such tasks over these 2 weeks. "If I'm always hurting someone else or making their day worse, then why shouldn't mine be worse?" Nothing but self destructive thoughts, clawing and chipping away at the usual outspoken vivacious person that is yourself. Counting the hours that pass or occasionally opening your phone just to stare at your lock screen being the only thing keeping you from floating away in that awful fucked up brain of yours.

You feel truly utterly useless, everything you have done or tried to do has lost all its worth. The frowns of other people begin to feel like knives penetrating through you, twisting and mixing your insides, almost making you feel sick. You feel so embarrassed that your only thoughts can be "Why am I here?" or "What's stopping me." Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just feel happy? You don't like isolating yourself, but you can't bother to leave your room even though it has been days.

As you continue laying there, every blink you make feeling tenfold of what it truly is, you are jolted back to your senses as you hear a soft knock coming from your door. Unable to really ignore it, seeing as you can't really lie about not being home, your car is outside. You return the knock, trying to hide how tired you are, "What happened?" The door then opens a small bit, only being the slightest bit ajar, just barely enough for a head to stick out from it. And that is just what happened, suddenly you see at first small bits of messy plum-purple hair stick in through the small crevice made. Then, you begin to see it, the face of the oh so lovely yet oh so timid Mayoi. At that very moment, it then suddenly hit you... "You've probably had your boyfriend worried sick this whole time." Mayoi had always been the type to show the highest bit of concern for you, no matter what was going on. But, he would never want to invade your privacy, if he think you needed your own space, he'd give just that. Even so, he'd always be right there by your side no matter what, through thick and thin Mayoi was there even if you two haven't decided to move in with each other yet. He would often have his moments where his overwhelming stresses and anxieties get the better of him and he can't help but break into a panic, being able to comfort him and help him through that would send your heart to the moon.

Mayoi's whole head suddenly peeks through the door, you hear a slight rustle coming from what seems to be something in his hand which is obstructed by the doors view. His striking cyan eyes always catch you off guard. It's always as if they are staring into the deepest part of your body, just studying you. With a concerned frown on his face, he can't help but see how tired you look, and seeing your face slightly red from the previous crying you had done only makes him more worried. Finally, Mayoi musters up the courage to say something.

"Y/n.. I'm really worried about you. Y-you haven't come out of your room in a few days, I'm so sorry for being a bother but, d-do you need me to stay for a few days?" Mayoi sounds like he might even shed a tear himself, you are simply shooken to your core seeing his face, the true worry, sadness, confusion. You don't want to leave Mayoi like that, but no matter what it just feels like you can't get your shit together. Feeling such guilt and doing nothing more than blaming yourself for Mayoi's concern, you ask him to come into your room.

He becomes a bit flustered at the request, "Are you sure I should come in? I don't want to invade your space."

"How could such a considerate person deserve me.." you'd think to yourself and you fight the urge to frown even more noticeably. "It's just fine Mayoi, you're welcome into my room at any time, please don't feel worried to step in." You give him the most comforting smile your face can possibly contort into. The plum haired boy begins moving around the scattered clothes and small bits of garbage flooding the ground, trying his very best not to step on anything. Along with the more steps into your room he took, the rustling noise from before had been revealed to you to have been indeed a bag that was hanging from his wrist.

Every second he inches closer to your bed, you can feel your body tensing up, your heart rate only raising. "He shouldn't have to go through all this trouble for me, why do I cause him all this trouble? I should be a normal, loving, happy partner, yet here I am. Doing nothing but causing him trouble. Why do I keep on making mistakes, I'm only hurting him, why would he even stay with me if I'm that much of a bother, why am I even here anymore?!" You can't help but panic, why must you torment yourself like this any time someone dares to care about you, any time someone would even try to open their heart to a vile awful person like you.

Suddenly, as Mayoi reaches your bed, you have lost all track of your thoughts, how far you have sent yourself in terms of blind panic. Because, low and behold, you are already in tears, sitting there right in front of Mayoi. You are only made aware of this once you feel one of the crystal drops run down your cheek, almost tickling it. Mayoi jumps a bit, not expecting this sudden reaction.

"Y-Y/n?! D-did I do something wrong, are you alright?! Please don't cry.... I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" A billion thoughts rush into Mayoi's head slightly sending him into a panic aswell. You can't help but blame yourself as always for this situation. But, you do the only thing that you think you can do right now, you just... hug him, you latch your arms around Mayoi and you don't let go. Almost having him in a death grip, you can do nothing more than try to let yourself feel the warm embrace and try to calm your boyfriend down. You let out sudden sporadic sobs, not being able to contain all these bottled up feelings, Mayoi suddenly shakes each time you let one of the sobs out.

After choking on your words more than enough, you are finally able to get a few words out. "Mayoi... I'm-" you take a deep breath trying to stop another sob from coming out, "I'm so sorry.." but you couldn't stop it, more tears came out. "I do nothing but hurt you, I do nothing but cause you pain, I keep on bringing you down with my problems. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you, I don't want to be constantly worrying you, but somehow I can always fuck up and do just that. I keep on fucking up for everyone, no matter how hard I try. I'm just... so tired, I'm tired and I can't do this anymore. It's all so hard, I'm just a waste of space that's been nothing but a useless burden to everyone." You take one last shaky breath, more tears coming, "I'm sorry....". You can no longer comprehend any basic words to use to express how you feel, absolutely out of any energy to say anything more. You just dig your head into Mayoi's shoulder, and once again hug him.

It takes a while for anything else to happen, but that's fine with you, just being in Mayoi's arms gives you a sense of comfort, but an unimaginable sense of pain. His hand begins to reach for your hair, as he shakily strokes it, just like a parent would with their child trying to lull them to sleep.

"Y/n... you haven't done a single thing wrong. I'm so sorry these feelings have been bothering you so much. Please tell me... y/n" He hesitates, slowing down the gentle strokes in your h/c hair, "Are y-you okay y/n? I'm really sorry for asking but, I can't see you so sad like this. I'm in no place to assume how you feel, so please, if you have anything going on, you can tell me."

Knowing Mayoi would be willing to give that kind of space to open up about how you feel, you decide to finally let it out. Though the embarrassment won't go away, though all the bad thoughts feel so loud, you can't keep this from him anymore. It's not worth keeping it all in anymore, not when Mayoi is so concerned about you. You suddenly begin to let everything out, talking about your struggles, your constant concerns, and well.. the thoughts you've had. Being as brutally honest as you can is all you can do, but you make sure to remind Mayoi that none of this is his fault and in no ways are you upset at him. The last thing you would want is to have him panicking which would only make things worse. The fact that he is even here listening to you, and so intently as he is already enough of a shocker.

"That's... about all, I'm so sorry about the mess aswell, I'm just.. a mess right now." You sigh as you look downward with a look of shame and embarrassment that you'd let things get this low. It takes Mayoi a bit of time to find the right words to say, a process which normally would take him a fair amount of time. Once finding out what he wants to say and how to say it, he gently holds your hand, looking into your e/c eyes with the same look you always get as you stare into his eyes.

"Y/n, you've never been anything of a bother, I should have checked on you more. Never would I believe you deserve any of this..." He pauses. Getting lost in your gaze, which shakes him up a bit, he regains his grounds, "I-i want to help you in any ways that I can... I love you, and I will be here for you. Though I am nowhere close to anything above average, I want to love and care for you in whatever ways I can. Everything is going to be okay y/n, I got you. I won't let you go."

The last sentence he let out shook you to your core, and you could feel yourself tearing up again. You then fall right into him, but not suddenly enough to catch him off guard, and you just lay there. Never has an embrace felt so... comforting, so loving, so reassuring. But, Mayoi has proved a hug like that can exist and that yes... everything might end up really being okay. After some time, you sit back up. Mayoi looks to his left where he had placed the bag he had in hand down during the breakdown, and he passes you the bag.

"I'm s-sorry if you aren't hungry, but just in case you are, I got you your favorite." He slightly blushes as you open the bag to find a large assortment of foods and snacks you like; you can't help but smile and look at him.

"Thank you Mayoi... thank you, I love you"

[should-be-sleeping]

Sorry for the delay of this update, as you can imagine, I've been exceptionally busy since our neighbor was forcibly removed from her own front lawn and hospitalized. I don't blame the police for being concerned enough to call paramedics, and I don't blame the paramedics for having to take her to the hospital, but that doesn't make it less traumatic.

When I called the hospital last Thursday they would only confirm that our neighbor was there and safe, but no other information and no visitors. When I called back at 7am Friday morning, I was at least allowed to speak with her actual nurse who gave me a little more information (within HIPAA, naturally), like that she was sleeping and they were waiting on a couple of consults and then her case manager so to call back later.

So that's what I did. Several times. She'd been in the E.R. for nearly 19 hours before a nurse finally just let me speak with her directly over the phone. She was terrified. They had brought her in and put her in a corner and that's where she'd remained basically the entire time with barely any care to speak of. She didn't even know how she got there or why she was there. She had no personal belongings with her (read: no phone) and no call nurse button. If she needed help she had to just... yell. Over everyone else yelling and screaming in an E.R. Then the nurse told her she had to hang up (probably because she was making them sound bad), so I promised her I'd see her soon.

And then I went down there.

It was boggling to be that after that much time they were still just waiting on her case manager. What's the point of her being there if nothing's happening? She's literally just being held in the E.R., she doesn't even have an IV. I needed to find out wtf was going on.

The E.R. rules on visitors are very strict. Family members and only one person at a time. They run your ID, input you into their system, print you a badge, and a security guard personally escorts you to the patient you're visiting. It felt like trying to board a plane in 2001.

When I got there she was so relieved to see me that she started crying. I brought her DNR so no one could claim they didn't know her wishes directly, all of her medications, and her phone. She wasn't in a bed, she was still on the plastic, hard ambulance gurney. wtf, wtf, wtf?

She was shaky and weak and hadn't been able to actually sleep due to the noise and the constant fluorescent lighting. At some point a nurse had brought her a bottle of water, but she was unable to open it herself, so it still sat there on her tray. I opened it for her. Someone in the curtain beside us opened a can of soda, she said, "Oh man, a soda sounds SO good right now!" so I left to speak to her nurse and hopefully get her at least a soda.

Her nurse was overworked and undoubtedly being underpaid. I get that. It was now Friday the 13th, in October, so, y'know. That was a factor as well. The E.R. was very busy. That said, this nurse acted like our neighbor was just some sorta bother that didn't need to be there. Despite there having been no testing done either way to even determine that yet.

I gave her the DNR and all of the prescriptions so that she could enter that into the system and after some insistence got her to let me give our neighbor one of her anti anxiety medications. It's basically just an antihistamine that calms you down a little. It's not like a Xanax or anything like that! Give the woman a break.

I then asked if there was a way to bring her a soda and her reply was, "idk, like, you can obviously go buy one?" Lady. It was harder to get into the E.R. than it is to open a bank account, I'm not going anywhere. I gave her a look that suggested a lot of words I wasn't saying out loud. She broke eye contact.

I changed the subject and asked for the case manger to call and speak with me. It had been over twelve hours since the case manager was reportedly coming to speak with our neighbor and they hadn't done it yet. They could come do it now. This is ridiculous. I know being in the E.R. can take a while but that's usually because you're actually being treated or getting tests run. Not literally just laying there for twenty hours being ignored.

Apparently thinking our neighbor actually has living family who can sue them if she dies there without proper care put the fear of god into these people because the case manager called to speak with me immediately and as I was on the phone with them the nurse very sheepishly came and gave our neighbor a nice cold can of soda.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

The quality of care was improving quickly now that she wasn't a lone "altered" elderly woman. The case manager gave me more information about what the plan was and the timeline and took my information so they can call me to keep me updated.

I asked if we could get our neighbor into a room and they told me there wasn't a room available so I asked if we could get her a @#$%ing bed then because she was still on a gurney and they ordered her one on the spot. I could hear the nurses scurrying outside the curtain to get it ready ASAP. Why didn't they transfer her into a proper bed upon arrival?

Our neighbor, an old woman experiencing a lapse in lucidity so severe it landed her in the E.R. had been laying in a gurney, with no access to bed controls or a nurse call button, for almost 24 hours. Are you KIDDING me? No.

I stayed with our neighbor while they got the E.R. got their crap together and updated her about what was going on since no one had told her at any point before this. She literally had no idea why she was even there. She was just alone and afraid. She thought she'd been arrested for some reason because of the way she was being treated.

I explained that she was still in the E.R. because they were waiting on a few doctors to come examine her and run actual tests to see if she was safe to return home or not and so she should try her best to make sure she stays hydrated and eats so she can prove how strong she is.

She'd been complaining for some time now about the numbness in her legs growing worse, so my hope is they'll figure out why that's happening to her. She hasn't seen an actual doctor since her previous hospital stay in July where they informed her that she was dying.

But, as I had been trying to explain to her, she's not dead yet, so her quality of life is still important! That she should see a doctor about pain or numbness so that she can remain independent for as long as possible. If nothing else, hopefully this stay in hospital will help her accept that she can be both terminal but also in need of care. It's not just The End so who cares?

I feel like depression in terminal patients is never appropriately addressed. Like, of course they're depressed, right? But I'd say it impacts their quality of life and longevity itself even more than their physical illness does. It needs to be considered and treated. Had our neighbor gotten that kind of help she may not have declined so rapidly. Throwing bad news on top of it... of course she's in the hospital.

We talked for a good long while and I braided her hair for her so that it wouldn't get so tangled they have to cut it (like last time). I explain in our culture you can only braid the hair of someone you love and care for and that you can never braid someone's hair if you're angry with them. She adores this.

I assure her there's nothing to worry about except getting better. I locked up her house for her after the police left, and took her valuables to our place for safe keeping. I make a list of things to bring her when I come back. I want to make sure she's as comfortable as she can be.

I help her get to the restroom because who knows how long it'll take an E.R. nurse to help her and I'd have to go find one first anyhow. The nurses are stunned she had to strength to do this. I explain she's usually stronger than when she was brought in and now that she's not in a constant state of panic, she'll probably be a lot more lucid and capable in general.

The bed arrives as I get her back to the gurney so we have part ways there, as there's really not enough space behind the curtain for her, me, an orderly, and two nurses swapping out the gurney for a bed and my time as a visitor is nearly up. She feels a lot better having seen a familiar face and having been finally told what's going on and how and why she wound up there. Being in a proper bed will also help immensely. I promise to visit again and try to get her a room proper.

We hug a good long while and then she tells me I'm an angel. I tell her I'm just doing my best and that I'll see her soon and to text or call me any time, now that I've brought her her phone. She texts me before I'm even back in the car, letting me know how comfortable her new bed is. Then for the first time in nearly 24 hours she goes to sleep.

Tough day today... and friendly reminder that being human is easier when we help each other.

I saw one of our neighbors, an older woman we sometimes talk to in passing, sitting outside of her house. I don't know what exactly made me look twice, but on second glance as we drove by I realized her walker was in the grass. She was otherwise just sitting there, like she had a thousand times before, so it would have been easy to assume she was fine and go on with my life as normal but something told me to go check in on her anyway.

She was not fine. She was the polar opposite of fine. Just diagnosed with terminal cancer not fine. No next of kin not fine. A veteran facing eviction from her house for missing rent while in the hospital not fine. In constant debilitating pain not fine. Only semi-lucid not fine. She was extremely alone not fine.

I thought, at most, she might be bored while unable to pick up her walker not fine. A five minute detour from my day not fine. A help her back into her house and say "see you later!" not fine. Instead I spent the last three hours with her because she was so scared and alone and no one should be alone.

We talked a lot while I was there. She's actually two years younger than my mom (who also has cancer but slightly better luck, I guess). I helped her into her house and got her a drink and we talked about what all is going on with her. None of it was good. I was as reassuring as I could be, but there's only so much of this I can actually help her with.

"Why did you come?" she asked through tears.

"Because you looked like you might need some help."

She called me an angel. I told her I was just doing my best. I told her that kindness should never be rare. That we should all try to make the world just a little bit better than it was.

She offered to pay me but I told her I was just there as a friend. Before today we were basically strangers. No need to repay me with anything other than her company, I assured her. She cried, a lot. I managed not to somehow. Something tells me she had needed to cry long before this but in being Strong she never had the chance to.

She needed to get her mail, which is a long walk when you're disabled because it is not at all handicap accessible (across a parking lot, over a bridge, across a small field). So I helped her get her mail. We stopped every three feet because her pain was so bad, but she was determined to be able to go do this with me and not just send me on an errand. I patiently stayed with her and reminded her, through her apologies, it was fine to take our time: there was a nice breeze and birds were singing. She appreciated this. She loves nature.

Halfway back she said she wanted to go to the pool. To put her feet in the water. She loves water, and has not been able to even see the pool in a month. Neither of us were dressed for swimming, but I took her to the pool anyway. There is a stair leading down to it, meaning she couldn't bring her walker, so I offered her my arm.

We went to the pool. She put her feet in the water and then, with more energy and enthusiasm than I'd seen the whole time, she jumped in. In her fancy dress! She was instantly ten years younger at least, clear and happy, floating in the sun. Dress and all. She grew up with a pool and had been on a swim team.

I sat by the edge of the pool while she swam, keeping her company and also making sure she was okay. When she got tired I took her back home and then had to help her get undressed and redressed. I made sure she felt no shame. Getting out of wet clothes is hard for anyone, let alone someone with like twenty pounds of tumors racking them with constant pain.

She was so fucking happy to have gone swimming.

She is trying to "make everything right" before she goes. Trying to repay her debt to society and her debts in general. She couldn't understand why the corporation that owns our houses wouldn't take her money. She was genuinely distressed -- not to be homeless on her deathbed but to not leave this world with a clean slate. I told her intent matters. She can only do her best.

This company not letting her repay her debt was their fault, not hers.

When I finally needed to go, I told her to let me know any time she needed a hand or just wanted company. She told me she was going to die tonight. I told her I hoped not, so I could see her tomorrow. I offered her a hug, we hugged and she sobbed for a solid ten minutes into my shoulder. I told her she was okay. That it was okay.

When I got home I cried myself, because I could not believe she was going through all of that alone. I cannot even imagine how isolated she must have felt. Once I pulled myself back together I sent her a text reminding her to reach out any time and I'd do my best to come over. Like, any time at all.

I hope she is here tomorrow.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo

requested: yes/no

an: part 4 of the great adventures series

pairing: platonic y/n/tommy/jack/tubbo

warning: cursing

It was the afternoon before your new adventure with your friends. you had no idea what to expect, however everyone else knew even ranboo, and he wasn’t even joining you all. you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous, especially after hearing some of tommys plans for future uploads. tubbo had been trying to drop hints about what was going to happen. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was excited or nervous, either way you could tell it was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and boy were you excited. the sound of knocking pulled you from your thoughts.

“hi y/n! sorry for the unexpected visit, i tried to call you but it wouldn’t go through.”

“oh god sorry, tubbo, my phones on charge upstairs, ive just finished babysitting my friends twitch chat.”

“that’s okay, tommy wanted me to see if you want to stay the night as i can take you with me now. he said something about it saving time tomorrow as jack won’t have to go as far and we can get there earlier, i honestly just think he’s slightly nervous and wants to spend time with someone.”

“i’ve not prepared a bag or anything as i was just planning on grabbing everything i needed in the morning, but i’m down to go with you. i’ll pack a bag real quick, make yourself feel at home. you can stay down here or come upstairs with me.”

tubbo followed you upstairs, and helped you pick which outfits would be the best to wear for the trip. around 10 minutes later you finished packing your bag and turned around to see a very pale tubbo, dropping your bag to the floor you pulled a chair up to your bed sitting opposite him.

“you feeling okay tubs?”

“just nerves, I'll be alright, are you ready to go?”

“ready if you are!”

the journey to tommys was relatively quick, you spent it talking about group plans for when ranboo comes to the uk.

tubbo: almost here!

tommy: yes! want to stream for a bit later, just something small could do laugh and the stream ends. i’ll go talk to my mum now!

•••

tubbo: please open the door

tommy: on it

the pair of you stood at the door waiting for tommy to unlock it

“TUBBO! Y/N I'M GLAD YOU COULD BOTH MAKE IT!”

not too long later, you and tubbo had put everything away and sat with tommy planning out a small stream.

“so i was talking with my parents and we can do an outside stream, and set fire to marshmallows!”

“as much as i love fire tommy i don’t think your parents will appreciate arson in the garden.”

“it’ll be fine now grab a jacket, we need to go walk to the shop.”

the three of you set off determined to get to the shop and back before it got dark, tommy and tubbo walked on either side of you as they want you to feel safe. thankfully the shop was only around the corner so you were all only out for about 20 minutes maximum, you probably could have made it back earlier but you stopped every time you saw a pretty rock.

“y/n come on we still need to stream!”

“did you tweet that you were streaming?”

“no he didn’t.”

“then come and look at this pretty rock!”

tommy and tubbo couldn’t help but laugh at how many rocks you managed to pick up.

•••

“guys i think i’d rather just spend time with you all rather than stream.”

“that’s fine, tommy!!”

the three of you sat around the fire updating one another about plans and opportunitie, coming. the conversation swiftly came to an end when tommy had set fire to a stick claiming it was to make the fire grow. you laughed as you heard his mum yelling at him to stop trying to set you and tubbo on fire.

“sorry about that everyone, but look the fire is big again.”

it got colder as the sun went down, so the three of you sat with a blanket draped over you all. his mum offered to take photos for you and you happily accepted, the pictures looked amazing and you posted it to instagram with the caption ‘i am cold and no one is telling me what’s happening tomorrow.’

it was around 11pm when the three of you agreed it was time to go back inside and sleep.

•••

you and tubbo stayed downstairs and tommy stayed in his room. the sound of tubbos alarm woke the pair of you up.

“turn that fucking thing off!”

“this is the fourth time it’s gone off and you’re still not up?”

“that’s because i’m tired.”

“please get ready jack will be here soon enough.”

realisation finally hit today was the day you were finally about to find out what this once in a lifetime opportunity was. tubbo advised you to wear sensible clothing and not wear the zodiac necklace you always wore, so you decided to wear the hoodie ranboo sent you a week ago and leggings.

“y/n you might wanna tie your hair up.”

“tubbo are you sure you’re feeling okay? you genuinely look ill."

“i’m fine.”

jack: right i’m outside so whenever you’re ready

lani: we’re making our own way later on as the hotel we stayed at is closer

y/n: will someone tell me what we’re doing

ranboo: no

y/n: you’re not even joining us how did you get in the gc

ranboo: magic

y/n: fuck off give me a clue

ranboo: i’ve said it since you dyed your hair neon f/c you’d be able to see from way up in the sky

y/n: what the actual hell is that supposed to mean

•••

soon enough you met up with everyone else and lani started recording.

“we’re skydiving, you ready tubbo?”

“WERE DOING WHAT? HOLY SHIT!”

you honestly couldn’t wait to do this. it was something you had wanted to do for a while, tubbo on the other hand clearly didn’t agree, which was evident through his whining.

you stood with tommy laughing as tubbo sat alone questioning why he agreed to this.

“look at him.”

“he’s is not happy.”

you sat next to jack and tubbo watching the video demonstrating what you will all be doing soon. you let out a nervous laugh, as although you were excited, you couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.

“you could fall into the engine and get chopped up.”

“tommy stop scaring tubbo!”

“what if the parachute doesn’t work?”

“free fall to your death.”

“y/n you’re not helping!”

you stood recording tubbo laying on the floor once again whining.

“tubbo there are so many people behind you!”

“i’m sure the parachute won’t fail tubbo, but if it does it was lovely knowing you!”

“uuuuuuugh!”

“i fully agree bo.”

soon enough you tommy and jack joined tubbo on the floor.

“look at the clouds.”

“we’re going to be in them soon.”

“hell yeah!”

“ughhhh!”

you tried not to laugh trying to calm tubbo down a bit before you all jumped out a plane, which worked until you left him alone with tommy whilst you spoke to jack for a while.

“to be fair that looks quite fun.”

“and dangerous!”

“STOP!”

“well sounds like tubbos thrilled to be here.”

the four of you sat on a bench talking about what’s going to happen, and laughing at tubbos nerves trying to make light of the situation.

“look it’ll be fun, tubbo, provided we don’t die there’s a chance we’ll be in more vlogs.. okay so ignore the black cloud of smoke!”

“that’s not a good omen.”

“shut up!”

you wrapped an arm around tubbo trying to make him feel comfortable and reassure him it’ll be fine, only to be interrupted by jack and tommy bickering about eating before jumping from the plane.

•••

the four of you went to the briefing, at this point you were struggling to contain your excitement, and couldn’t help but laugh out of pure joy.

“no, they are listening, they're just excited.”

after doing training for the jump, you stood with tommy whilst someone questioned him about how he got 9 million subs.

“I just went around being incredibly cool.. doing minecraft.”

you and jack burst out laughing whilst tommy went on to make jokes about how much money he was earning.

•••

it was now almost time to jump out a plane. it was around now nerves were kicking in, so you all went around messing about till you were told it’s time to make your way to get ready.

“let’s go gamers!”

•••

“are you a skydiver enjoyer?”

“i am.”

“well that’s always good... please, don’t let me die!”

“y/n are you scared?”

“no, my ranboo merch will protect me, but if i die can we blame tommy for coming up with this?”

“ranboos not going to believe that you’re wearing the jumper he sent you to jump out a plane.”

a few minutes later you over heard a worker say they’re nervous causing you to tilt your head and blink again, trying to process what was said.

“heh???”

it was now time for the four of you to put the equipment on, so you were ready to jump. jack started talking a lot more than usual at a quicker pace due to the fact he was getting nervous. tommy pointed it out and jack trying to argue he wasn’t made you laugh.

“y/n keeps making a lot of jokes about my parachute being shit.”

“sorry manifold should be fine...more than likely...hopefully. only time will tell really.”

“how you doing buddy?”

“i’m feeling okay. i feel my insides doing inside bits.”

“wonderful!”

you were now all waiting to go as a worker jokes about forgetting something.

“y/n you’re going with him!”

“okay, but why?”

“well you said your ranboo merch will protect you..”

someone went by going rather fast causing you to stare in awe.

“we don’t go that fast, do we?”

“no not unless something goes terribly wrong.”

you all stood there laughing.

“stoppppp!”

“y/n, i’m now thinking you should go with them instead!”

“are you trying to kill me off jack?”

•••

you all set off towards the plane, a mixture of excitement and nerves began kicking in.

“tubbos on a lead.”

“oh i’m really nervous jack.”

“look at y/n!”

lani began to record you, who was now way ahead of the others, so you stopped and waved at lani.

“BYE LANI! HOPEFULLY ILL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!”

the others caught up and everyone had their equipment checked again.

“oh dear.. should be fine.”

“i’m alright, don’t worry my ranboo merch will protect us!” you got on first and that when you realised they set you up, so you jumped last as you were more confident and tubbo was jumping first so he could get it out the way.

you all sat on the plane and waved at the camera.

“hi there!”

“hello!”

“hi!”

“please don’t let us die!”

“we’re really jumping out a plane with a dream stan.”

“this is the highest we’ve ever been.”

“gamers in a plane whatever will they do...hopefully not die!”

“Y/N!”

“sorry tubbo!”

you were currently at 2,000 feet and sat looking out the window waiting to reach 14,000 feet. jack turned to you and tommy, “i can’t believe you’re jumping out the plane in philza merch and y/ns jumping out in ranboo merch.”

“if i die at least ill look great doing it.”

12,000 feet later it was now tubbos turn to jump, he looked back at you all.

“YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!!”

you watched as tubbo went.

“GOOD LUCK TOMMY!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOOD LUCK? Y/N?”

“BYEEEEE!”

you laughed as tommy went.

“see you later jack!”

you gave jack a high-five and watched as he went.

“holy shit they actually did it!”

“are you ready, y/n?”

“hell yeah, let’s do this!”

you laughed as you jumped, you couldn’t believe you actually got to jump out of a plane, you waved at camera.

lani met the others as they landed and began telling them about it.

“wait where’s y/n?”

“there they are!”

“Y/N!”

the others ran up to you as you landed.

“i’m glad you didn’t die!”

“thanks jack!”

•••

“would you all do it again?”

“yeah.”

“no.”

“maybe, i’m not sure.”

“i reckon so.”

not too long later, you were all given certificates to celebrate the fact you had jumped out a plane.

“yay it made nearly dying worth it!”

“you’re so dramatic!”

•••

you thought the day was over and that you were going home, little did you know that wasn’t the case.

“were not done for the day.”

“what?”

“heh?”

“you’re tilting your head again.”

“i know it’s because i’m confused!”

“anyway, what do you mean we’re not done?”

“you know george, he’s arrived!”

“gogy!”

“GOGY!”

“can i have a nap in the car please? i’m so exhausted."

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y

[theunholygrails]

Foolish Games Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: Introducing new characters and some drama! Percy is still sexy as ever :'(.

Warnings: BJ

I woke up to a door slamming so hard it joined the symphony of my pounding headache. I groaned, hoisting myself over the back of the couch to investigate to intrusion. A brunette head of long sweeping hair rushed through the foyer, barreling towards the kitchen. A familiar mop of black hair hurried after.

Reyna was speaking so fast in Spanish my brain scrambled to keep up. I noted lots of curse words followed by a series of sentences too fast I was surprised she even knew what she was saying. Percy was answering in slow measured words, probably fighting a hangover of equal measure. I ducked behind the back of the couch, reaching for my phone plugged in on the coffee table.

It was noon. 2% battery and a couple messages from friends. Nothing from my ex thank gods. Five from Annabeth being nosey. I opened my uber app, squinting in the sunlight breaking through the cream curtains. I managed to get my driver secured.

A door slammed and I winced, peaking to check that they were in another room. I did not immediately spot my dress in the chaotic. I grimaced remembering the midnight swim. When I sat up I finally noticed the white tshirt I wore and the basketball shorts. And then I went rigid remembering what happened after the swim.

“Motherfucker,” I whispered.

Now I really had to get out of this house. I checked the arrival time of my driver. Three minutes away. Great. I made my way on shaky knees to the large wooden front door. My keys were still in the collection dish. I grabbed them quietly and turned the door handle a fraction of an inch before another door slammed open and Reyna came barreling back into the foyer, brown eyes landing promptly on my guilty ass. Behind her, Percy pursed his lips into a thin line and raised both of his hands to lay on top of his head. His biceps strained nicely against the thin t shirt.

“The fuck is this?” Reyna whispered.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” I babbled.

“It’s just Noa, Rey. Gods,” Percy said.

“I can see that, Percy!” She snapped. I was glad her spear was not strapped across her back this morning. “Why is she sneaking out of my house in your clothes?”

“People were swimming last night. Her clothes got wet.”

“I’m sure the fuck they did.”

“Zeus, Rey! You ended it with me. Why does it even matter?”

“Because I still fucking love you! I’m sorry, okay?” She burst out crying and Percy instantly pulled her against his chest. The memory of being in those arms drove me out the door like a nest of hornets.

~~~~

“I’m just saying. You have nothing to feel sorry for,” Annabeth paused to sip her iced coffee. “Unless they get back together and then you sleep with him. But as of right now, you’re good. Trust me. Been on the Percy train. We’re still friends. You’ll get over it. Just a harmless rebound for both of you.”

I groaned, laying my chin on the cool metal table parked outside our favorite coffee shop positioned between our New York apartments. Just two Manhattan women enjoying their Sunday afternoon. The air was cooling as fall neared. I pulled my baseball cap closer to the top of my sunglasses.

“Should I call him?”

“Maybe tomorrow. Let him deal with his relationship drama. Reyna is a lot to deal with. Still nothing from fuckface?”

“Nope and that’s fine.”

“Good for you. We will hydrate you, get you a good dinner, hit the gym before work in the morning and then get back on our bad bitch mental track. Agreed?”

~~~~

“Good Monday, yogis,” I chirped from my desk at the corner of my studio.

The third class was beginning to trickle in and I was settling into my rhythm. Hot yoga was next and hopefully I would sweat out all the negativity I’d allowed lately. I was in the middle of emailing back a potential client when someone rapped at the wood of my desk. I glanced up to a blonde male who waved gently.

“Heya, sansei Noa,” he said.

“That’s karate. Can I help you?”

“Do you do trial classes?”

I hit send on my email and closed my laptop. The guy was built like a poser with the defined muscles and chiseled jaw but his voice was soft and tempered. He was clean shaven and dressed like a basic gym bro.

“Normally you have to schedule them beforehand because of class size,” I gave my standard answer.

“Right, my bad. Sorry. I was just passing by the front and it looked like the kind of place I needed right now. Can I go ahead and pick a date then?”

I was staring too long into his pale blue eyes, honed in on the polite response. A nice change from the daily demanding consumers. “You know what? Ive got space right now if you like? Have you ever done hot yoga?”

A brilliant white smile showcasing sharp canines. “My favorite.”

“Perfect. I just need a name, number and email to get you a file started.”

He leaned large hands on my desk. “It’s Luke Castellan.”

Before he could give the contact information, I cut him off. “Wait. I know you.” His tanned skin paled significantly.

“I…”

“You’re supposed to be dead!” I blurted out.

His eyes skated around the room and he leaned in closer. “That’s not supposed to be public knowledge. I assume you’re a demigod?”

“Luke, you trained me. We took fucking sculpting together. The Apollo table was right next to the Hermes one for fuck’s sake.”

He winced. I heard a murmuring from the rest of my class I was disturbing with my volume. I collected my shock finally. “Take a seat if you want. We should talk after class. I need to start.”

“Okay. Thank you. I’m sorry Noa.”

I waved him off and walked over to my yoga mat. I sat cross legged and drew in an even breath to smooth out my emotions.

It was a slow 30 minute class. Each pose and movement dragged on. Finally, I dismissed the group and nodded Luke outside. He was waiting on the bench outside of the studio I split renting with a few other instructors. I sat next to him, wiping sweat from my face with the towel slung over my pink sports bra.

“Alright, talk,” I said.

“Not much to say. I was given a second chance at my hearing. Here I am. Starting over.” A shrug of well-defined shoulders. The muscles flexed beneath his gleaming sweat. His red tank top stuck to his chest and stomach. “I wish I remembered you, truly. That time is such a blur in my life.”

“It’s ok. You were a lot older than me and to be honest I had a massive crush on you so I probably hid most of the time.”

A surprised smile slipped across his lips. “I’m assuming the betrayal helped you get over that?”

I laughed outloud, slapping his knee. “No shit! So where are you staying these days?”

“Just around the corner actually. Got a job at the local gym.”

“Yeah I bet the fuck you did.” I squeezed his forearm between both of my hands. I wanted to roll my eyes at me falling back into my school girl giddy at him. Betrayal of the gods aside. He was even more gorgeous than ever. The scar down his face gave him a dark sexy vibe. Like a bad boy even though he claimed he was rehabbing himself now.

“So how, did you feel about the class?”

“I mean, I’d like to sign up for it a couple times a week, that’s for sure. And I’d like to take you out to dinner to make up for not remembering a beauty like you.”

I almost bit my cheek biting out the response of “Yes!”

“You’ve got my number,” he said, chuckling quietly. “I’ve got to get to work.” He shouldered his gym bag and excused himself.

The bike back to my apartment was spent reliving my tween fantasies about bad boy Luke. I opened my apartment door and screeched seeing a man sitting at my kitchen counter. Percy turned to face me.

“You know you live in New York? You should really lock that.”

“It was!” I snapped.

A quick grin. “Yeah. But it was easy to break into.”

I dropped my bag onto the floor and brushed past him to get a protein shake from the fridge. “I have to shower and get prepared for my night classes.” I told him.

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t either.”

He paused, studying my face in the shitty lighting of the single bulb hanging between us over the counter. “Are we good, Noa?”

“Of course. What’s a little head between friends?”

“Okay…I can’t read you. Can you not play tough just for a minute?”

I chugged the shake and set the bottle down between us. I leaned my arms on the chilled counter, bun knocking against the light. “Honestly, Percy. I’m fine. We are good.”

“Reyna moved back in.”

“You’re engaged again?”

I drank from the empty bottle to give myself something to do. He watched me with those green eyes. He’d known me for far too long. He was nearly impossible to deceive, but I was determined today. The fact that I had dreamt of fucking him two consecutive nights was irrelevant if he was off the table. Even if his lips did look incredibly juicy tonight. Even if they had done near illicit things to me just nights ago.

“I don’t know. She said she wanted to work on things. And it’s her dad’s house, so I can’t ask her to go and I don’t want to go to my mom’s and admit defeat.”

“You know you could stay here, Perc.”

He worked his jaw silently, then rubbed his hands over his face. “Thanks. I do know. Even if we aren’t officially back together, I think we should work on it…” he trailed off.

“And not tell her about you eating me out?” I leaned closer because I was mean to both him and myself. Because I knew this top combined with this angle gave him a simple opportunity. And he took it.

His tongue slid out between his lips as his eyes flicked down, stayed, then dragged deliberately back up. “Probably not,” he agreed.

For a long moment neither of us said anything. He had more to lose now than me. We were no longer on equal playing fields. So, I left the ball in his court. “I’m going to go shower.”

I was done washing in the first ten minutes. The second ten was giving him a little wiggle room to decide. I had my hand on the faucet to cut off the water that was beginning to go cold when I heard the door creak open. I watched through the fogged glass, catching a hold of my breath. I watched as he tugged his shirt off. My stomach flipped over itself when he reached for his jeans. What had I done?

The opening door let in a rush of cool air, perking my skin to attention. My eyes raked unapologetically over his naked, aroused body. His dark hair quickly slicked against his stubble covered jaw. His eyes were no longer the sea green but murky like the deep water of the ocean.

“Hey,” he said quietly, cautiously.

“Hey,” I giggled, reaching out to touch his rough jaw. He winced, catching my hand with his. “We probably shouldn’t kiss again.”

“Sure, whatever you want, Percy. What can I do to you?”

He groaned, turning his mouth into my palm, scraping teeth against the vulnerable skin. “Touch me,” he said.

My free hand instantly planted against his chest, scraping at the muscle. His eyes fluttered closed, head tilting back to expose his throat. I slid my other hand into his thick hair, tugging it tightly between my fingers and pulling to grant myself more access to the strong column of his neck. I bit it first, backing him into the tiled wall when he shuddered. I kissed over the reddening skin and moved my hands to his flat stomach, feeling the shuddered breaths beneath my touch.

“Like this?” I asked.

His reply was unintelligible. I kissed down his chest, moving my hand lower still as I went. When my fingers brushed over the v-line of his hips, I shifted my route away from the center and to his thighs. An annoyed grunt escaped his lips. “Hush,” I scolded, getting my knees under me. The now cold water was hitting the back of my neck and flowing down my body. I placed my hands on the inside of both his thighs, trailing them upwards and upwards until he nearly contorted when I gripped him. He let out a scandalous string of curses that quickly turned to moaning silence when I took him into my mouth.

He unraveled in minutes and I let him cum all over the breasts I had teased him with earlier. I rose in front of him, my own rosy cheeks mirroring his. “Now we’re even.”

[mrsmount16]

Hey I was wondering if you could write a MM imagine where him and the reader have only gone on a couple of dates then when the announcement of the first lockdown is made he asks the reader to isolate with him? Then I was thinking while they’re isolating they’re experiencing a few Firsts with each other (e.g., cooking together, sharing a bed, movie nights, cuddles and kisses etc).

I didn't know how to write this without being super long and boring so I was going to section it off but hopefully it still gives off the same energy then a normal write lmao, also thank you for the request and this is such a good idea 😩. I didn't really know what other firsts to do😕 I haven’t proof read this either, so it could make no sense at all and probably have spelling mistakes but pls just power through it 🤞🏼

Warning: None.

Lockdown was being announced and everyone was panicking, the news emphasised on the amount of food people were buying and how there was no loo roll left but also about how relationships weren't going to work out due to being locked in the houses for all this time without seeing your significant other or because you was seeing them too much.

You had only been on a couple of dates with Mason, but you both knew that you wanted to pursue something more personal and deep and not just mess around for the fun of it. Thats why when he asked you to isolate with him you didn't hesitate to say yes. Even though the news told you otherwise of how to feel you simply ignored and couldn't wait to spend as much time with him as possible, building up a true connection between you both and making your bond stronger.

Cuddling and kisses and sharing a bed.

You arrived earlier in the day and had already taken your things to the spare bedroom and now sat on his couch, him on the opposite side. You guys hadn't stopped talking throughout the whole movie that played and eventually when it ended you insisted that you bought a takeaway for the both of you.

He agreed and when the pizza arrived you both sat at the table and had a slice, talking endlessly about random things like 'why colours are named what they are' and 'how were humans created'. After about an hour, it was dark out and just turned 9pm.

"I'm gonna get comfy and ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll meet you up there in a few." He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbing the box and walking off outside.

It was pretty cold out so you pulled on a hoodie and joggers, and you removed your makeup and cleaned your face and teeth and sat on the bed in the free room on your phone.

He knocked on the door and peaked his head through the door frame at about 10.

"You coming?" He gestures to his room.

"Oh yeah, hold up." You smile watching him leave.

He lay on the bed on his phone, lighting up when he saw you enter.

"You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to." He stated, watching as you climbed into bed next to him.

"No, I want to." You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on the pillow.

"I want you to, too." He put an arm around your waist and finally rested down after turning the light off on the bedside table.

You were both submerged in complete darkness, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded you both, the duvet lazily spread across you and your faces faced each other. His eyes were closed, but you lightly leaned in and pecked his lips causing him to open his eyes.

"Goodnight." You said, looking up at him.

"Goodnight pretty." He smiled, kissing you again lightly and resting his head.

You fell asleep in his arms, totally engulfed with his care and serenity, it rubbed off onto you. This was the best sleep you ever had in ages, and you wanted to do it a lot more.

Cooking.

"Hey! Thats not where the flour goes." You retaliated at Mason putting the flour on your nose, a sneeze followed shortly after.

"Oh, my bad." He giggled, sticking the rest of the flour in the bowl.

"These are going to be the best cupcakes you have ever baked."You said, mixing all the ingredients with all the strength you had.

"Yeah? I reckon by myself I could cook some pretty good cupcakes. With no help of Course." He leaned against the counter, his apron said 'world best chef' and he was covered in all ingredients that you didn't even know had to be in the cupcakes.

"Well, we will see about that once you taste my cakes." You smirked, sticking your tongue out at him and wiping a little bit of frosting on his cheek. "Got u back." You giggled.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer to him so your front's were together.

"You look amazing cooking.." He cheekily smiled.

"Not too bad yourself." You kissed him, he deepened the kiss and ran his hand up your back, until you felt a hard crack on your head and then an ooze of a liquid go down your back, mason was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and near enough rolling on the floor.

"Mason!" You shouted, shocked and holding your head, "Did you just egg me?" You laughed, grabbing the egg that was on you and smearing it all over him.

"Two can play that game!" You giggled, grabbing flower and eggs.

Fight and makeup.

"No, I just don't particularly like her. You told me about what she did, she's a bad influence." He argued back.

"Oh, so she's a bad influence? So you think I would do something like that?" You scoffed. Your friend invited you to go on a walk around the park, and you told Mason but when he heard your friends name he instantly scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. He had no care about it and sighed, telling you to just 'do what you wanna, your choice at the end of the day.'. You asked why he was being so moody and he replied that he doesn't like her, and you understood why but because he didn't like her didn't mean that you couldn't hang with her. You did tell him that she did cheat on her boyfriend and you completely disagreed with her actions too but now he was saying she was a 'bad influence' like you was going to be influenced by what she did and start following her actions like you was a child.

"Its only for a catch up Mase, I haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. I haven't been at work remember and ive been locked up here."

"Yes, but anyone but her. We could go. I't doesn't matter, just go. Ill see you when you get back." And then he stormed off up to his gaming room, releasing all his stress on his games.

After about 40 minutes, you realised he was right, it wasn't just the cheating but she just overall was a bad person and you shouldn't have been encouraging such gossip with her.

You entered his room and put your hands on his shoulders, he looked back at you and then carried on his game like you wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry Mase, you was right. I can surround myself with much better people, and I will."

He turned his chair around so he was facing you and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his lap.

"It's okay, and ill go on that walk with you. Let me just finish this game." He said, smiling lightly and giving you a kiss which you returned.

Go-to support.

It was about 2 months into lockdown and your work had been piling up. You was stressed and so not motivated to do anything, even getting up out of bed was hard.

This day was particularly a struggle. You had to finish a presentation and only had today to do it, so you panicked and speeded it, finishing it as quick as ou could without caring about the outcome and just sending it off.

You sat at the kitchen table with your face in your hands, thinking about all the possibilities, will you lose your job? Will you get demoted? You just couldn't stop your mind from wandering.

"Are you okay babe?" You heard Masons voice from behind you and felt a hand on your back soothing you.

You couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, whimpering and wiping your eyes.

"Mason I need a break from work, its so stressful and I think with the work I just did I'm going to lose my job and im just not motivated to do anything and I-" you rambled on, until he cut you off.

"Hey, hey calm down," He crouched down and placed his hand on the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happening to everyone now, im sure if we ask your work to give you some time for your mental health im sure they would let you." he smiled reassuringly.

"We?" You sniffed.

"Yeah, we. We're gonna get through this together. Now, it's always we." He stood up and hugged you tight.

Love and a movie night.

It's been about a 5 months now, and you and Mason had been going strong.

Mason insisted that you watch a movie tonight, sit down with some popcorn and snuggle up together. Of course you said yes.

About halfway in the movie, a conversation popped up about 'what would you do if you was a worm?' and you couldn't stop laughing, at both of your responses.

"Yeah, but I would definitely still love you if you was a worm." He joked, laughing with you.

You stopped almost instantly, looking over at him.

"What?" He looked over, confused.

"Did you just say that you love me?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You didn't hear? I love you." He smiled, chuckling.

you gasped, putting your hands over your mouth. He reached out and grabbed your face.

"I love you." He repeated, just for you to realise what he did, so you could know that it was real, to process the words.

"I love you." You stated, grinning from ear to ear.