#it happend last year
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Is cof actually good or was I just suicidal?
#literally tried to kms 2 weeks after first playtrough#im fine now#it happend last year#cof#cry of fear#frankarcherhater
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Oc drawings from last year (•ᴗ• )و
#my art#digital art#oc#original character#I don't know what happend last year but for some reason I unintentionally whitewashed her xd
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Please people tell me it's normal to be stopped by a stranger who called you beautiful? Otherwise I'm might go onto spiralling
#Personal stuff#the amount of times I've been called beautiful in the last nearly 2 months compared with the rest of my life is astonishing#It's been 4 times and I susspyanotjer one was kind of hitting/impling a co-worker/close co-worker/friend had a crush on me#and another one nearly asked me to date after procling he wants to be married in 1 year and have a baby but he doesn't have a partner#and then asked if I had then I jad to tell no bit I'm not on the market#I'm really confused about that what's voing on#still not the weirdest thing that happend to me in the romance/relationship/marriage area
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i rember my phase where i met this rlly pretty girl in a friend griup n she was all huggy wirh me and i played along cuz i dint wan hurt her feelings like we were making edits of each other shr calld me mi amor i called her novus spes but then i think she was jusg being friendly n stuff
#ALSO THIS HAPPEND LAST YEAR#We got ok now bugt like she was also rlyy touchy feely wit me#like alwaygs hugging my arm n stuff#i dunno she never explicitly said she liked me or that she dint#she just likd touchign me and alwys hangign out wit me#ehh bugt its all ok now ig
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what the fuck is wrong with me!!!!!!
#i havent gotten yhis level of dysphoria in fucking forever. its almost funny how much i can feel it unwinding me#woruldnt have happened if i had just ended my shit last year !!!! wouldnt have happend if i was normal !!!). thos is great this is just 👍👍#vent#vent content#<- mb i think tahts the one i usually use and it’s probably easier if you wnat to block a lesser used tag idfk
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i should not be allowed to think past midnight tbh i should be head empty at this point of the night
#just. usual first day of class anxiety#i didn't had it this bad before i graduated from school#when i entered the institute i was just. dying inside the first day. didn't dare to separate from my friends sides until they gave us our-#classroom's number#and i was all alone there with only one person that i already knew and i didn't even talk to them too often#glad that i got to know two more people this past year and kept in contact with old friends#i even grew closer to one of my oldest friends#but still. i dont like what im supposing that will happend this year. i dont want to loose more friends because of a fight. again.#wasn't even a fight i dont know what exactly happened i dont remember details. it wasn't a problem with me though.#just between them. but i dont want to choose again. this is why i always try to see both sides beforehand#i just. im just spiralling im tired but not enough to fall asleep i should fix my sleep schedule yeah#hope this year isn't that bad. at the end is my last year at the institute i should be already prepared for this#i should worry for when i move out and enter college instead#yeah im just going to watch some videos and play my silly phone medieval cats game sounds like a good plan#i talk#lay rants
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#why did i Do That why whywhywhy#i think im actually going to throw up#I JUST WANTNRD TO SAY HI YP MY FROEND BUT NOOO OFC ITS NOT ACTIALLY HER ON WHATS SUPPOSED TO BE H E R FUCKING PAGE#“since you eont syop messaging ny sister” BRO THAT EAS LITERALLY OVER A WEEK AGO WHAT??#and when something happend between her mom and i thats been iver a year oh my god.#i shoulfve fucking known it wasnt her why did it fucking do it#UGDHDHDHSHS#i fucking hate it here#i sent maybe like 5 total meaages but thats bc i had things to say dickhead AMD ALOT OF IT WASNT EVEN ABOUT SPECIFICALLY WJAT HAPPEND WOTH#HER FUCKING MOM AND I LIKE?? IM BEINH CALLED THE FUCKING INSANE ONE WHAT#Thats not continually messaging your sister thats beukg concerned for her asshole and again! LITERALLY. OVER A WEEK AGO.#its not like i messaged anyone else either like. i did last year WHICH STILL WASNT ABOUT THE THING I (ADMITTEDLY STUPIDLY#bc iy was smth else i was mad ad-) GOT MAD AT HER MOM ABOUT LIKE.#im just really concerned for my friend and im supposed to stop caring like that?#idk ehy i did that. ofc it was her mom on her fucking page.#I EVEN GOT TOLD TO LEAVE HER ALONE?? AS IF IVE BEEN MESSAGING CONSTANTLY OH MY GODDD#“drama stirrer” my fucking ass i was just hoping one of you was actually a fucking decent person so my friend can get the proper help she#should have#i did have a inking that ofc it wasnt myfriend on there so i did send a message saying how sad it was for other people to be on someones pag#page acting as them i didnt say anything hateful or anything either and yet i get told “friend showed me this and basically you can fuck of”#and a whole rant from her sibling. acting as if i messaged them specifically again. lmao okay then#IF THRY DONT WANT HER BEING FRIENDS WITH ME SO BAD WHEN ITS BAD ENOYGH IM LITERALLY IN THE SAME FUCKING AREA AS HER#THEN JUST FUCKING BLOCK ME?? ATLEAST I WOULFNT BE GOING IN HOPIMG IT WAS ACTUALLY MY FRIEND THIS TIME.
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Okay men are pretty good I guess. Who else is gonna help me put my spare on this early in the morning.
#No fr I'm so fuckin glad I could have my punk help me out. 😭😭 He has to be up early but he wasn't even mad while he fixed it.#If this happend last year I'd be so screwed and would've had to pay out the ass to fix it.#For the price of lots of kisses and one of my alcoholic Monsters I got to watch this big strong man fix my car.
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Almost the same with me, but with a Mikey angst fan comic I saw on YouTube
Fun fact: the thing that finally got me to watch Rise was that the movie came out and I saw an angst edit about Leo being left in the Prison Dimension
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Putting a teddy back together
This poor teddy bear had had a rough time. His person wrote in her original email:
This adorable teddy bear was given to my 68 year old English husband when he was a little boy. His mother had knit a little shirt for the bear with the monogram 'TC' - which stood for Teddy C (their last name.). My husband and I were going back to England for a visit after too many years, leaving one of our daughters home to take care of our dog. Because we are in So Cal and worried about fires, my husband pre-packed a few boxes with the things that he would want evacuated in case of a fire. Sadly, he put TC in the box with no lid. Our adorable dog thought it was another stuffed toy for her! Much to my daughter's chagrin, she came home to find TC had been mangled! I don't have the heart to let my husband know what happend, so TC has been hiding in a box for almost 2 years while I search for someone to fix him. I came across your info and a lovely story in the LA times about you. I am hopeful that you can work some magic on TC and restore him to something close to his original state!
And these were the diagnosis photos she sent:
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He came to the hospital with a much younger buddy to be used as a comparison for shapes and stuffing. No spa photos for TC, because he was only having surgery. He had lost so much already, his family didn't want to touch his remaining stuffing.
So here he is all better, ready to go home and be hugged again:
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And here he is with his buddy, two happy bears!
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His family said, "He looks great!"
#stuffed animal repair#stuffed animal hospital#teddy bear repair#teddy bear hospital#vintage teddy bear#teddy bears#jointed teddy bear#english teddy bear#teddy bear#stuffed animals#stuffed animal
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(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT
I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY
IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)
i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how
anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)
two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water
youve read it correct drinking water.
i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.
i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)
being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage
being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)
being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)
glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)
dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)
healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)
and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)
then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:
new phone, +macbook air
dream apartment of my own
pinterest closet
lifa app for this reality
financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)
knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)
a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)
my parents being more lovable and away from me
every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling
and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)
then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)
one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.
still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀
4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much
a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.
and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.
for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.
sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.
oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.
YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.
and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.
and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.
and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.
and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS
i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself
because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)
is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check
the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck
dream body and hair- check and check
i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself
not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.
im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help
now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess
loves, siena.
#void success stories#pure consciousness#i am state#the void state#4d reality#void state#loass#manifesation#manifesting#shiftblr#shifting consciousness#manifestblr
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remembering the most memorable mc's (with canon appearences) from the otomes i played
all of them are phone games btw. and looong rambling about the games after the cut!
Mystic messenger has been in my radar since i was in elementary school but i played it for the first time after the spanish traslation came out (2017 i think?) Seven shaped my type in such a specific way that im not really sure why loved him so much (it was the whole "he loves you in every route" stuff). I like a lot the default mc, most of the fandom did and that was enough to won me over
Rosa is top tier protagonist tbh, Tears of Themis has really good story and characters (as far i played, not a lot but i enjoyed it) The reason i'm not that much of a fan is bc the game is expensive asf and not very free to play friendly. You're either lucky or have a big wallet with the gacha
i miss my wife man(Marius)
Ephemeral has to be one of the best free to play otomes i've played tbh (if my memories aren't tricking me, it's been years) Good artwork, good storyline, good characters and as far i remember you can unlock one chapter of the character route per day (mabye two days, idk) and the mc's background has an important role in every route (she's a zombie! she's pretty now but eventually will fall apart, aaaaand her story gets expanded in one of the routes!) ((shes also adorable)) There's also a sequel, if you wanted more of the boys! never finished it but i'd recommend it
Honorable mentions! Huellitas Mágicas is a great game! has a really good cast with well fleshed arcs for all the characters, even the scondary ones! The game shines more for the development of *all* the characters rather than just the protagonist/ml. The main theme is overcoming insecurities! Each love interest has a different way of helping our (very insecure) protagonist and helping different characters with their own struggles :DD
10/10 i recommend this game if you want something cute and can be finished in a few hours, if i remember right. It also has a sequel! with like- 12 new love interests, also never finished it bc i didnt found a guide that worked for me but ñek
A3! is my canon event as a gacha player. Discovered the english/global server, tried it and got bored, left it for a few months, tried it again and fell in love, noticed the game was going to shut down bc low sales -HAHA :(-. This is not a otome btw, this is here bc Izumi has to be one of my favorite protagonists in gacha games ever
last but not least! Obey me! Shall we date? oh dear, what have they done to you :(. The original had intense powercreep to force you to pull cards -multiple times bc that makes them stronger- and even now, the company showed a lot of favoritism to some characters, leaving others to dust bc they don't make the same money. Not to say, they released a new game with the same cast and new main story (ignoring all what happend before). And let me say: THEY LITERALLY WANTED TO KILL THE ORIGINAL GAME.
Nightbringer might be a decent game but i don't trust the devs anymore, i still remember what happend with Asmo's birthday right after the release, and honestly i don't want to sit there watching how they disrespect my favorite characters again and again and again. Loved the characters hated the devs. 5/10 you can play it if you want but i don't recommend spending money on it, it's not worth it, just search #obey me here in tumblr and enjoy the amazing fanworks that i can assure you have a lot more love than the game itself
i miss my wife man (mammon and levi)
#got sting by the nostalgia mosquito#thinking about it i kinda want to play huellitas magicas again#mystic messenger#mysme#tears of themis#rosa tears of themis#ephemeral#its that the right tag?#huellitas magicas#a3#a3! act! addict! actors!#izumi tachibana#obey me#obey me shall we date#otome game#tot
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The Gods Has Spoken (Poly!Feysand x Reader)
SUMMARY: You were a mere mortal, daughter of no one. You were sold into slavery by your father. Furthermore, you were a courtesan on the pirate islands, known as The Pirate's Bride. And then you were condemned to work for life in the volcanoes for killing a free man as a slave. From there, you conquered Slaver's Bay, having seen dragons and a new version of yourself born in the lava.
Now you go to the Night Court, in search of an alliance that is easy to fall into nothingness, because of looking for your childhood friend Feyre Archeron.
Or
Where you were Feyre's childhood friend. A couple years older than her, you took her under your wing and taught her how to survive. Now you are both leaders of your lands and your causes, and those may not be compatible.
Feyre already has her peace, and you are about to start your war.
CHARACTER(S): Poly!Feysand x Fem!Reader, Feyre Archeron x Fem!Reader, Rhysand x Fem!Reader.
WARNING(S): Reader is female. Reader is described as having long hair. Reader is given hair color, but it is clarified that it is artificial and has natural unidentified color below. Misunderstandings and slight miscommunication (in my defense, it is justified). War. Slavery. Prostitution. ACOTAR Canon sh*t.
AO3
Tag List is OPEN.
(0.) PREFACE
SUMMARY: You make some last arrangements before leaving for the Night Court. Or. You make a stupid decision that will change everything.
(1.) THREADS OF TIME.
Ever since you arrived in the Night Court, you've avoided awkward confrontation and the thought of going out of your way to talk to Feyre. You've barely looked at her in an attempt to avoid facing the very thing you came here for. But finally, one evening, after a flight over the mountains with Balerion, you come face to face with the past and present you've been avoiding.
Or.
After not seeing each other for over a decade, you and Feyre finally meet in the woods again, but nothing is the same, not even the two of you. You make an agreement to try to find a balance, and you fail miserably.
(2.) EMBRACING ILLUSIONS
After realizing that the alliance won't happend, you decide to take a new approach to what's left of you visit, while Feyre decides it's time for you to have a serious talk. Or. Where you and Feyre get too carried away by what could have been, and yo ignore what you know will be, just to live in an illusion a little longer.
(3.) DREAMS MADE HEAVY.
It's the celebration of Nyx's first birthday. Or Your time in illusion is running out and the past is fading, unable to bear its own weight any longer.
4. (COMING SOON)
TAG LIST: @pinksmellslikelove @saltedcoffeescotch @raisam @asweetblueberry2 @kabekusa @throneofsapphics @makayla2036789 @jojodojo02 @kooterz @rcarbo1 @whyucloudingmymind @hjgdhghoe @minbeatriz16 @azzydaddy
#acotar x reader#acotar fanfiction#feyre archeron x reader#rhysand x reader#feysand x reader#poly!feysand x reader#feyre archeron#rhysand#acotar fic#feysand#friends to lovers#strangers to lovers#second chance love#fated mates#mates#dragons
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still not over the national anthem incident yesterday btw because max verstappen throughout his career has constantly been disrespected either by those he has been nothing but friendly and encouraging towards and it pissed me off a great deal that three world championships under his belt later some drivers still don’t respect that he is THE generational talent
can i ask what exactly happend, i turned off before the podium
Crowd started chanting “Lando” during the podium, which in itself is a little disrespectful but nothing we haven’t seen before (ie. chanting Charles during Imola). The national anthem started and Lando put his fist in the air cheering them on/encouraging them DURING the national anthem. Needless to say, Max and George gave him the biggest side eye. A lot of people have also drawn comparisons to Charles’ behaviour during Monza qualifying last year, where the tifosi booed Max and Charles told them off/shook his head.
Lando also went on to blab about how he would’ve won if not for the safety car, which a lot of Max fans were a little ?! about because Max’s skill definitely made the difference during this race. Also Max would have won Miami if not for the safety car, but you didn’t hear him say any of that directly to the press, instead he just praised Lando’s skill.
All in all it’s plain disrespect and immature as hell. I would NOT guess that Lando, George, Charles, and Max all fall within the same two year age range. Also it’s disheartening because this level of entitlement and general non-awareness is nothing new, lest we forget when he broke the Hungarian GP trophy last year (which takes like 4-6 months to make) and he said some pretty dismissive stuff about it forcing McLaren PR to go into overdrive, or him saying that Trump is his lucky charm after his Miami win. I’m sort of done making allowances for some rich asshole’s behaviour, especially because the media seems ready to glorify him. If a non-British driver had pulled that same shit during the national anthem you bet all English-speaking F1 media would be up in arms but no Lando gets a pass because the British are desperate to have a second coming of Lewis Hamilton.
#max verstappen get behind me#max verstappen#canadian gp 2024#anon#asks#anti lando norris#fanon lando and canon lando are such different characters to me lmao but I think this has forced me to fully acknowledge the divide#grid dynamics
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ᑎᑌᗰᗷ 𓌉◯𓇋
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A/N: First fic on this acc!! Enjoy this little angsty fic :) Neglected bat!reader breaks their sobriety after their family makes a grave mistake. Sure Reader should be used to it by now, but offering them a drink? At a Gala they forced you to attend? On your birthday? What a load of bull. You pray that Damian doesn't find out...but sadly they don't get accepted. No beta reader, we die like Jason Todd TW: Substance abuse, alcoholism, brief mention of underage drinking, self harm etc .
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𐙚"Don't let them see you like this" -Alex G 𐙚
ᑎᑌᗰᗷ
That's what it felt like, not a single though in your mind. It was consumed by the taste on your lips, the bottle in your hand. Limp, you sat in your bathtub, surrounded by broken glass and empty beer cans. The loud city of Gotham seemed to finally be silence, it seemed distant. It was the only thing keeping you from fully drifting away, the faint sound of cars, the only time you thanked this godforsaken city for being loud.
Guilt hadn't reached your mind yet, you only wanted to drink. Focusing on how the burn in your throat made you feel, oh how it made you feel so alive. Each breath felt sharp against your throat, it made you want more. The alcohol coursed through your veins, providing an escape, providing a warmth no person ever gave to you.
Leaning more into the cold porcelain you stared at the shattered glass by your feet. You could feel its sharp edges against your feet, it was a constant reminder of your mistakes.
Unfixable, the glass and your life. But right now that didn't matter, only the bottle existed, the burn and the urge to finish it. You managed the strength to pull your arm up, tilting your head back to feel it. The taste you missed so much, a taste you wanted to forget had no idea why you would neglect. What a day to celebrate your twenty second birthday! Relapsing after two years wasn't your plan today but it sure was better than anything else that happened today.
The night, displayed by your bathroom window, taunted you. It made your mind float through an intoxicated haze. Pieces of the day coming back to you, as well as the -now broken- promises you made. A sigh left your lungs and it was evident that she had drank, so much. All of this, just because of one question. A question that shouldn't have broken your heart as much as it did, really it was pathetic.
"Why aren't you drinking tonight?"
The sound of your 'brothers' voice was distant, and so was the guilt that was soon to consume you. But as the line between fiction and reality blurred more with another sip, there was not a worry in your head. The guilt will come later, but here it was no where to be seen. The only thing you could grasp was the bottle you used to keep on the highest shelf.
A shelf that was now empty, thanks to your so-called family's echoes. Echoes that were forever etched into your brain. Not only had they forgotten about your birthday, forcing you into a social event that you already dreaded, but they had also forgotten about your sobriety. Was not drinking on your twenty-first not an obvious sign? The question had filled you with anger at first. Your fists were clenched to your side when Dick had asked that. Hopefully you would forget this day ever happended.
"Why aren't you drinking tonight?" Dick said with slurred speech, making your family turn their heads to you. At first you took it as a joke, that he was trying to make you less tense. When your chuckle left all of them confused that's why you could feel your heart shattered. It felt like time had stopped, like god was playing a joke on you. You just stared at them, not giving him an answer. "You're kidding." There was no point in hiding the sadness in your voice, there was no way anyone was going to care anyway. After a strangled 'yes' left his lips you decided there was no point in talking them. You took one last glance back at your dad Bruce, he looked like he was going to offer you a drink, that was the last straw, so you decided there was no point in staying. Sadly, you did. Just enough to take a sip of champagne, just enough to set you back. God did you wish Damian was with you, he would've remembered.
Remember. That's the only thing you wanted to do. Today was supposed to be simple, go with Damian to a petting zoo, visit you favourite café with a few friends and be done with your day.
Damian...would he have stopped you from doing this? He was too young to attend whatever you were at this morning and sadly he wanted to meet up with his friend. You weren't going to stop him, he was the only one that listened to you and vise versa.
It made you chuckle, every time you told him about how much you used to drink, and every time he would give a small lecture on how much it impacts your liver and brain. Being a doctor would really suit him.
Just as you close your eyes you see a small light peeking outside the door. Light footsteps followed soon after, and suddenly everything is crashing down. You shake your head, hoping, praying that it isn't Damian. You'd rather it be a murderer coming to finally end you then your little brother. No, he had so much faith in you, please. Sadly, if you speak of the devil, he appears.
The light spilling in from the living room stung your eyes, luckily they were already tearing up.
"Sorry I didn't knock, but can you pick up the phone-"
You saw it, the way his eyes widen an he drops your phone. The way the his green eyes suddenly become more reflective, is hands twitched and he took a step back. Your baby brother, staring at you with such a distaste and confusion and...there was nothing you can do. There was no way you could've gotten up to hug hum, even reassuring him seemed impossible in your state. Glass etched into your foot, a pool of blood by feet as your eyes fluttered.
"Wha...y-you promised!" His voice wobbled with an anger that you understood all too well. The way his eyes switched between shock and sadness and the way he seemed to be frozen on the spot. It was like looking into a mirror ten years ago. He stared at you the same way you stared at your mother, it was driving you crazy with guilt.
"Dami..." you croaked out, feeling nothing but selfish.
"No. Keep your eyes open I-I'll call an ambulance. I...I" watching him stutter didn't do anything good for your heart, you just wanted to hold him and tell him that this was just some sick prank.
"I'm sorry...just don't tell Dad." The way you uttered those words seemed to catch him off goard.
"This...feels like a matter that should be reported to hi-"
"Dami. Just don't...please." To be honest, you were baffled he was even understanding you. It didn't even feel like english you were speaking. "I love you, buddy..."
If those were your last words, you were glad. Soon the coldness of the porcelain was no longer there, and there was only a faint ringing you could here. Maybe you were dying? It was a lot less scary then what you thought it would be, it was just...numb. No taste of alcohol, no warmth, no burn. Only numbness.
Just numb.
Numb.
๋࣭ ⭑Laying there lifeless...๋࣭ ⭑
#batfam#batman x reader#batman & reader#bruce wayne x reader#damian al ghul x reader#batfam x batsis#batsis!reader#batboys x batsis#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#platonic batfam#angst#dc fanfiction#damian wayne x reader#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#fizzah's ff
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Importance
pairings: dad!Chan x mom!reader
warnings: angst, fluff
summary: Having a child with an idol isn't easy...
author's note: I'm sorry that I couldn't post anything the last two weeks. But here I am with a new one!
Marriage wasn't easy. Especially when your beloved husband was an idol. The Bang Chan, leader of Stray Kids.
Between tours and busy schedules, there was little time for your relationship. But even though it was hard and you missed him like hell when he was gone for a long time, you still didn't regret to come to your best friend Changbin's party years ago. There, you had met him.
Well, he didn't see you and accidentally poured his drink over you. When your eyes met, he was fascinated by your breathtaking beauty. Maybe it was destiny back then. It felt surreal, like he was your soulmate. The missing piece in in your heart and life.
Apologetic, he bought you a drink and after a wonderful night together, asked for your number.
Soon, he took you out on a date and there followed a second and a third, becoming a huge part in your life.
Without noticing, time passed and Chan proposed to you.
You immediately said yes and became Mrs. Bang.
The second you were married, your family asked when you both would begin to try for a baby but Chan and you wanted to wait some time before thinking about an addition to your family.
You still were young and Stray kids took much time and you understood that. Your job was also one of your top priorities and wanted to earn more money.
But it seemed that the universe had other plans with you two. Seven months after the wedding you started feeling sick. At first you brushed it off and thought that it is just a stomach bug or the stress due to work.
As the lovely but overly concerned husband that he is, Chan took you too a doctor to get a check up. Even though you found it a little bit overdramatic, he still insisted and the reason why you felt nauseous was soon found. You were indeed pregnant and already two months into pregnancy.
Sure, it wasn't planned but you and Chan felt excited to have a small addition to the family. And sooner or later it would have happend anyways.
Chan promised that when the pregnancy was farther along, he would take some time off and help you. You agreed to that and decided to work some more months too before you need to go into maternity leave.
The months passed fast and soon, you welcomed your newest family member. A girl. A sweet girl with already some black locks on her head and the same brown eyes that you fell in love with.
Chan was over the moon. Even though during labour, he was terrified. Would he be a good dad? But all these thoughts washed away when he saw the beautiful angel you both had created with your undying love.
He was the first one to hold her as her crying filled the room. Exhausted, you observed the picture in front of you. Your husband with his precious daughter that already looked like a smaller copy of him.
He was told to undress his shirt and to lay the little bundle of joy against his bare chest to help her breath and keeping her warmth while the doctor checked on you because you had lost a lot of blood during birth.
The first weeks were exhausting. Your little girl, Nari, held both of you awake most of the night. Yourself needed to heal and time to recover from the labor, so you relied mostly on your husband who took such good care for his girl. Fortunately, he got some weeks off to settle into parenthood before going back to the boys even though they nearly saw each other every day.
Since you got home from the hospital, four days after birth, they visited you to meet their 'little sister' as they called Nari. Oh lord, they were so smitten. The only one that seems not so sure about that little human was Seungmin but when he thought that nobody would watch, you catched him drawing circles over Nari's hands, smiling when she wrapped her hand around one of his fingers.
When Chan went back, the house was suddenly so empty. After weeks of being together 24/7, the sudden quiet was unfamiliar. In the mornings, Chan was already out, you loved to lay on the couch, your daughter on your chest, snuggling close to you while sleeping.
When Chan came back home in the evening, he greeted you with a kiss and immediately ran off to his daughter to tell her about his day even though she was already sleeping. You loved to observe him while cooking. You loved this little family. It was something that you ever wanted.
You really loved Nari. But after the pregnancy and early motherhood, you needed some space for yourself. You would love to spend an evening with your girls. Just making yourself look pretty and have fun without watching over a child.
Especially since you almost never leave the house except for some stroller walks and buying errands.
You asked your husband if he comes home some hours earlier so that you could enjoy your night. Immediately, he agreed and you were so grateful that he understood you.
On that day, you took your time with getting ready while your daughter slept. You hoped that Chan would be home soon so that you would be on time since you hated being late.
Minutes passed as you sat on the couch waiting for him. Minutes turned into half an hour and you wrote your girls that you would run a little late today. They were understanding.
More minutes passed and you waited already for a whole hour. You tried to call him since he was always so focused on his work so that he sometimes forgets the time.
He didn't pick up and you were already half an hour late. Your girls were already seated in your restaurant, waiting for you to show up so that they could start ordering food.
Sighing, you texted then that you couldn't make it and they shouldn't wait up on you. Frustrated, you cleared your face from the make up that was hours worth of work.
You took off the new dress that you had bought. You were so excited to wear it because it made you feel so pretty again after the pregnancy made you look bloated and your belly was still not the same then before.
You didn't know if you felt rage, sadness or disappointment that you needed to stay home because of your husband.
It wouldn't be so bad if it was the first time after he got back to work. He used to come back at a normal time to have some time with you and the baby. But as the weeks passed, he stayed later and got up earlier so that you saw him just for some minutes per day.
It was like you were all on your own here in your home. You knew from the beginning that Stray kids was really important to him but after entering parenthood you had hoped that he wouldn't stay till past midnight in the company.
You heard the key unlocking the front door and your husband finally decided to come home after he had promised you that he would be here three hours ago. He greeted you with a small peck on the forehead as you waited for him in the living room.
He looked so calm while dropping his bag to the ground and sitting down on the couch.
"Why are you standing there honey?" He asked. You crossed your arms. He didn't even remembered that this was supposed to be your night out.
"Why are you so late?" You tried to remain calm since your daughter slept in the neighbouring room.
"I was working on the newest song for stray kids" he explained.
"Oh really? Because you said you would be here hours ago" you didn't want to pick a fight. You hated fighting with him. It made your heart clench but this night was important to you.
"I'm sorry honey. But I needed to get it done"
"Well, I had plans for the night, Chan."
"Really? I'm sorry honey. I forgot and this song was important"
"The song was important? My reservation with the girls was important to me" you said and couldn't hold the calm tone that you wanted.
"I already said I'm sorry, Y/n. I got caught up in work" He grew annoyed.
"Like always. You're always so late that I wonder if you even remember that you have a family at home" You knew you were mean and unfair but all these things were twirling around your head for days.
"Of course I remember! I'm sorry that I make money for us" he exclaimed sarcastically. His voice loud, nearly shouting.
These words hurt you. He knew damn well that you aren't dependent on his money and that you make good money as well. Even though you currently took a maternity leave.
"Fuck you, Chan. You aren't the only one working. I was asking you for just one thing. Just being home a little earlier so that I could have some time for myself." You said loudly, your voice cracking in the middle as some tears stung in your eyes.
"Y/n. I-" he tried but you stopped him.
"Nari is your child too. Currently, I'm the only one she sees whether it's in the morning or in the evening. And I'm tired. Tired of being the only one raising her."
You heard cries from the other room. You must have woken up your sleeping daughter. Sighing, you excited the room and headed to Nari without waiting for an answer.
Chan knew that he went too far and that he was more away than home. And it pained him to not spend so much time with his daughter. Slowly he followed you to your daughter's room.
It was dimly lit and you sat in the rocking chair next to her crib with Nari in your arms, rocking her. He hated seeing her in distress and guilt crept up. He was a terrible father and an even more terrible husband.
You felt Chan's hot gaze on you. You knew that the guilt ate him alive right now. He couldn't fool you. Therefore you knew him too well.
After placing Nari back into her crib, giving her a light kiss on her soft skin that smelled so sweet like a baby. Your baby.
Then, you took Chan's hand and lead you outside to the kitchen, farther away from your daughter.
He just followed you, deep in thoughts.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry. I should have come early. And I know that parenting a child alone is difficult. I didn't want to lash out on you like that. I know that the meeting with your friends was important to you" he said and caressed your hand.
"I'm sorry too. It's obvious that you try to be around Nari as long and often as you can."
"No, you were right. I need to be here more. Especially with you both. I shouldn't let work take over so much" he said and pulled you into his arms.
His arms circled around your waist while yours travelled upwards into his fluffy locks. Exhausted he let his head fall on your shoulder, all the tension leaving his body.
"I love you Chan" you whispered.
"I love you too. You and Nari are the most important things in my life"
#stray kids x reader#skz imagines#skz x reader#stray kids fluff#bang chan x reader#bang chan#bang chan fluff#bang chan angst#bang chan imagines#stray kids#stray kids angst
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