#For the price of lots of kisses and one of my alcoholic Monsters I got to watch this big strong man fix my car.

[xx00kie-sp00kiexx]

Okay men are pretty good I guess. Who else is gonna help me put my spare on this early in the morning.

[what-i-call-men]

Summoned

James Patrick March x GN reader

(I tried to go as gender neutral as possible with this)

Warnings: murder mention, not much otherwise just a bit of fighting then fluff with Mr. murder :)

Requested: by me for my fic thoughts “Another free fic thought for tonight! (Wow two in one night isn’t that much of a surprise) anyways the reader and James are dating, but have an agreement that on Halloween they get to go out and have a party/clubbing or just in general where James wouldn’t go. He summons them in the middle of devils night and they shows up wearing like a club outfit, in the middle of dancing too. They get in a fight over their agreement. Could be angst or smut or whatever”

(Pic is not mine)

You had come into the hotel purely on a whim. You had been searching out a place to stay because your relative you’d come to visit had kicked you out over some stupid disagreement. You’d come to the hotel in hopes of a cheap room with whatever money you had. Luckily enough you were able to get a room for a good enough price. Sadly though, you had been chosen that night by one of the monsters that lived in that hotel to be their victim of the night. Luckily though you were barely awake long enough to retain who it was.

For a few days after, you had walked down to the bar to talk to Liz and another woman you met named Sally, obviously there had been some others in there you’d met but Liz and Sally were the main ones usually at the bar. Although on a few nights you’d see a man come down from the elevator and sit further down the bar. Sometimes he’d be writing or reading something, sometimes he had a blonde woman with him and they’d talk quietly. He never really chose to interact with you so you would shrug it off and talk to Sally about her Instagram instead.

It wasn’t until one night that Sally couldn’t make it that you had instead spent the night with James, quickly hitting it off and soon going back to his room to talk pretty much all night. It wasn’t much long after that you two spent a lot of time together, slowly becoming infatuated with one another. You were murdered during the late 2010s and he was from the 1920s so you obviously had a lot of different outlooks on things.

After a few months of spending most of your time around James, you two became official and months turned into years of being together. About a year into your relationship you’d begun to go to devils night, which was not your choice, you only went for James. But it was the worst night of your life. Now you were fine with James murdering and whatever but his friends were the part you didn’t like. Aileen was really the only okay one in your book.

So you and James settled a deal after you throwing up for about an hour after Jeffery “had his fun”. The deal was that you’d spend the day of his birthday with him, doing whatever he’d like because the two of you could leave the hotel, but at night when he had his dinner party you could go out and celebrate Halloween with Sally and a few others that were more involved in the modern works. It was perfect for the both of you. You were not to disturb him and vice versa.

After a long day of spending James’ birthday walking around town, showing a few different places, but mostly doing some shopping for the two of you, you had gotten ready for your night out. James already had given a few disapproving comments and stares to your skantly clad body. Really you just chalked it up to his jealousy and lack of knowledge of the club scene. “Why don’t you just stay home and drink in the lounge dear? I want to be able to keep an eye on you.” He said as you adjusted your top that left little to the imagination.

“James, dearest, you could always come with us but I think the club scene would kill you again if you weren’t already dead. This outfit is tame compared to other people on Halloween.” You muttered and glanced at yourself in the mirror again. You turned to him, seeing him in his extra formal suit. “I’m going to meet Sally, Tristan and Elizabeth in the lobby.” You said and walked over to his frowning face, giving a quick peck to his cheek as you passed.

“Wait Elizabeth is going? I’m really not sure I’d like you to go out with her.” James walked after you as you made your way out the door. He followed after you and grabbed one of his suit coats, slinging it over your shoulders, a bit to “keep you warm” but also to cover you a bit more than the outfit you wore.

“We settled things James, remember? She’s coming with Will and she is your eyes and ears.” You muttered and pushed the down button for the elevator, turning to give him a longer kiss on the lips as the doors opened. You turned back to the elevator as Aileen walked out of them, flipping her hair back. She made a quick comment and whistle about your look as you got in the machine and closed the doors. “Love you my dear. I’ll see you later. I’ll be home before 3.” You called as the door finally closed.

You hadn’t been gone long into the night, you and Sally really splitting off and hitting the drinks hard as the others stayed reserved. What you hadn’t noticed when you left the hotel was that a witch had checked in for the night to do her spells in a haunted hotel. This was unfortunate for you but very fortunate for James who couldn’t get his mind off you not being in the hotel. His friends had even asked about you and were surprised you were allowed out, considering how possessive and controlling James was.

After enough comments from his friends and the time getting closer to your curfew, James beckoned Miss Evers to get the witch to him. She surprised down the hallways with the witch in tow only to be met with James at the doorway to the gathering. “You need to summon a ghost for me.” He said and there wasn’t much fight from the woman after his commanding tone scared the crap out of her.

You were having the time of your “life”, currently dancing against Sally as the loud music pounded through your chest, she was riding the wave of whatever her drug of choice was for the night. Being a ghost from the 2010s meant at least you knew most of the music and blended in well with the others in the club. Tristian had also come to dance with you and Sally for a bit before finding some other people to dance with.

This was the only downside of dating a man from almost a century ago, you knew he was too molded in his ways to ever join you for something like this. You knew if he even knew what twerking was he’d disapprove of you even thinking about doing it. But you currently were, right against Sally who was also learning to do it, but instead rather enjoying the attention you two drew from those around you.

At the hotel, the witch currently sat in the hallway outside the murderous dinner party, her alter around her and one of your rings that James had gifted you sat right on top of the alter. As she began her spell, you were dancing along with Sally, getting a weird feeling in your chest. You chose to ignore it because you’d already felt a bit guilty leaving James today so you assumed it was just the alcohol and guilt weight heavy on your chest.

As Sally wrapped her scarf around you and danced with it around your shoulders, suddenly the scarf hung loose around the air, and when you opened your eyes, you didn’t see your hypodermic friend, instead a very angry James, and his murder friends behind him, sat at the table. You realized the coat he had given you on your way out was very obviously not on you, instead it sat at the club with Elizabeth where all of your things were left.

You opened your mouth to ask how the hell you got here, glancing to the clock to see that it wasn’t even past 2 am, and it wasn’t the time which had pulled you because because all of James’ friend were still sat at the table. James grabbed your arm to pull you out of the room, but you ripped it from his grasp, a sudden surge of anger coming out. “James, why the hell am I here?” You asked and glared at him.

“You told me you’d be home before 3. And you-“ James began to lecture you and you cut him off. “And you promised i would come home to just you and that i could enjoy myself tonight, but obviously both of those were broken.” You raised your voice back to him and crossed your arms. His face became somehow more angry as you brought him down in front of his dinner party. Aileen let out a small whistle to you fighting against him with a quiet “get em” which was met with a glare from James.

“Y/n lets take this outside.” He said lowly and you huffed. “Oh I’ll take it outside. All the way back to the club with my friends.” You said and walked towards the door, letting yourself out, and stumbling over the alter outside the door. “You fucking summoned me, you asshole. Can’t even trust that I’d be home on time. I’m leaving and I will be home as late as i want.” You yelled back at James and he grabbed your arm properly this time, stopping you in your tracks.

He began to pull you back towards your shared room and when he threw you inside, he slammed the door behind the two of you, guests and friends long forgotten as you two stared at each other. You definitely were a change from the silent obedient women he was used to, and him a change from the lenient and careless men from your life. “Why are you so controlling? You get 364 and a half days with me every year for eternity and i can get that one half of a day in peace doing what I want to do?” You shot at him, but he didn’t respond, just pulled his tie off and his suit coat.

“You don’t just get to dress like that and go dance on other people when you belong to me.” James spat back as he grabbed your upper arm again, pushing you back towards your shared bed. “News flash James, we’re in the 21st century and you don’t ‘own’ me. Because I am forced to spend eternity here I wanted to make the best of it and spend it with someone who I enjoy, but until you decide to make a legal commitment to me I am free to be whoever I want.” You shoved yourself away from him as he stood above you, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Letting out a long sigh, James watched you turn to grab a cigarette from his bedside table. “Who said I didn’t want to commit with you, y/n?” He asked in an exasperated sigh. You rummaged around the drawer to search for his matches and looked back to him. “Well for starters, how about your wife? Hmm? How about you on multiple occasions? How about the 2 years of dating and endless arguments how to treat our arrangement with your wife and her boy toys?” You muttered as you couldn’t find a matchbook, now looking back to the drawer.

You paused and gently picked up a small box you hadn’t seen in the drawer before. “James-“ he cut you off and walked to the drawer, catching your attention. “I wanted to ask you earlier while we were out but the ring itself wasn’t ready until after you left for the night.” He muttered and grabbed it from your hands. “I would’ve been more comfortable if people out in the world knew who’s you were. And the arrangement with Elizabeth is over, she can live her life separate from us.” He said and you could barely comprehend his words through your head spinning.

You dropped the unlit cigarette to the ground, instead opting to grab him in a big hug, pulling him down to you. Your makeup definitely was smudged as he pulled away to open the box. “May I at least ask the question? I’ve been planning this.” He unwrapped himself from your arms, using his hand to help you stand up, and lowered himself to kneel before you. His speech was full of plenty of reassuring words, also euphemisms about how death was the thing to bring you two together and bring new life to each other. Your own thought were drowning in love for the ring and the man before you. It was dainty yet plenty jeweled with his own initials being engraved on the sides. It now sat on your finger, you pulling his own lips to yours.

Your solid kiss was soon interrupted by a knock on the door and an exasperated Sally at the door, holding your things in her arms. She paused as you stayed in James’ arms. “Oh thank god we’re not in deep shit.” She muttered and James tapped your back gently. “Go back out but be home soon.” He said lowly. You smiled and looked to the ring on your finger. “I love you.” You whispered and he kissed you before you ran back out after Sally.

[dimigex]

Current WIP/ Drabbles list

So, I have a day in my writing schedule that is dedicated to working on stories not Altered Reality, Healing Hands, Heart in a Silver Cage, or Losing Control, but I have so many that’s it’s hard to choose. I went through and made a massive list of the current projects that I have (and realized I need to complete more and jump around less). Everything on this list is at least over a thousand words and most are considerably more than that. 

I kind of wanted to open this up to see if any of these descriptions get my followers excited in the ‘omg tell me more, why isn’t this finished yet’ way because there is only so much time each day to work on things. If you see something you want to know more about or really want to see me post sooner rather than later, please, Please, PLEASE inbox me (you can even use Anon to do so) or reply or reblog or whatever. I want to work on things that other people will be excited about too. It’s no fun alone. I mean it kind of is, but feedback is the best and if you’re excited you’re more likely to comment and engage. 

Works are below the cut because I have zero self control and the list is long. Keep in mind this is nowhere near the full amount of stories I have in docs, only the ones that are well developed and/or written or close to being finished (or have a chapter or more if it’s a long story)  

Big Stories (things that would be split into multiple chapters/parts):

Naruto:

Clean - KakaSaku, Sakura comes back to the village with an infant daughter and a big secret, one that she’s sworn never to tell even if it makes her life miserable. This is a study on the things we do for love, even when it hurts us. This story also has some previous SasuSaku undertones

Dark Side of the Moon - KakaSaku, this is basically the flip side of Altered Reality. Kakashi lived in a happy world and is suddenly thrust into a reality where nearly everyone he cares about is dead and he’s in a relationship with Sakura. With everything upside down, can he figure out what happened and get back to his family before it’s too late? Or should he move on with the new normal?

Here With You - Kakasaku, A 10k follow on to my oneshot Distraction which is mutual pining (and mutual self pleasure while thinking of the other). Kakashi and Sakura are tired of dancing around their feelings for each other, but neither knows what to do about it. With a little help from Ino, Genma, and maybe some alcohol, they’ll figure it out. 

Mortal Flaw, Fatal Sin - KakaSaku (with a heavy dose of anti-SasuSaku, Sasuke really does come across evil in this one) Sakura returns to Konoha after over a year with little to no contact with anyone. Pregnant and alone, she turns to Kakashi to try and figure out what to do with her life and tempers flare when the truth starts to come out. (this one will have a lot of trigger warnings, it’s a dark take on SasuSaku)

Run to You  - Jiraiya/Tsunade, snippets of their lives through the second war and forward (Niwaki’s death, Dan’s, the first time they hook up (because let’s face it, it happened)

Shattered - This starts as a SasuSaku morphs into a KakaSaku and NaruSasu. After the war, Sasuke is held in prison in Konoha for treason. Kakashi is Hokage and he didn’t ask for this mess with his former team, and he certainly didn’t ask to start developing feelings for Sakura as she’s doing her best to save Sasuke from himself. 

She is the Sunlight - KakaSaku, Sakura is unhappy with life in the village after the war (and Sasuke) and wants something more than just her medical work at the hospital. Eventually she latches onto the idea of Anbu which Kakashi strongly opposes because he wants to protect her from the horrors of it. (this is actually a combination of two stories I have where Kakashi catches the feels and doesn’t know what to do about it and Sakura kind of self-destructs before he figures it out)

Starting Over - Kakayama, Tenzo doesn’t know what to do with himself after the war and ends up helping at the hospital. When an orphaned infant isn’t doing well, Tenzo puts in some extra effort and maybe falls in love with the idea of being a dad if only he can convince Kakashi that it’s a good idea. 

Overwatch:

Empire - Gabriel centric, dealing with his pre army life with his family, initiation into a gang, conversion to the army, marriage and daughter, then ending at SEP. This is a wild ride from start to finish honestly. 

Through the Glass - Genji/Mercy, their time during his recovery after Overwatch saved his life, then probably reconnecting later as an epilogue. 

(You Held the Gun that) Fired First - Reaper76, starting with the founding of Overwatch, the slow decay of Jack and Vincent’s relationship, the chaos of Jack and Gabe together, ending sometime around the start of the game probably. I’m not planning to follow canon heavily but there will be a lot of stuff happening here including but not limited Jack planning to ask Vincent to marry him, a massively public break-up, Vincent gets attacked and nearly killed, Ana’s death, the explosion. Honestly I haven’t decided on the ending point yet 

Drabbles (smaller, one shots that don’t need additional chapters, probably): 

Naruto

Beautiful, Perfect Disaster - KakaSaku, all the tension between them finally snaps into a first kiss that might be the start of something wonderful 

Blame it on the Blood Loss - KakaIru, When Kakashi and Iruka go on a mission together, the latter is badly injured and rambles confessions he never meant to share

Innocence - KakaSaku, Kakashi and Sakura have been dating for a while when she shocks him by admitting she’s never been with anyone before and wants him to be her first (and last), not going to lie, this is mostly smut 

Interrupted Affections - KakaSaku, Kakashi and Sakura have just started dating and the days on missions without being able to touch is killing both of them. Sneaking away from Tenzo and Naruto, they try to find a little alone time to reconnect. It goes about as well as expected 

Let It Go - NaruSasu,in which Naruto tries to convince Sasuke to stay in the village and Sasuke has some convincing reasons on why he shouldn’t 

Letting Go - Kakayama, set in their Anbu days where Tenzo pays the ultimate price to save Kakashi’s life and Kakashi goes a little crazy as a result 

Memories and Hope - Genma/Kakashi, on the anniversary of Minato’s death Genma and Kakashi realize they have more in common than they realized. 

Saying Goodbye - Kakayama, Tenzo reflects on all the could have beens at Kakashi’s funeral 

Shadows and Sunlight - KakaSaku and NaruSasu, This is a follow on to my story Lightning and Starlight (in which Sasuke uses chidori on Sakura on the bridge when she tried to kill him, aka Kakashi got there too late). It follows the fallout of that day when everyone catches feels and realizes relationships are complicated

Surprise Advances - Tenzo/Anko, a train wreck mission leads this unlikely pair to fall into bed together (a spin off from Heart in a Silver Cage)

The Monster You Made - Kakashi/Obito, after the war (in which Obito doesn’t die, obviously) Kakashi saves Obito from execution for his crimes and realizes that he has some unresolved feelings for the teammate that he thought he’d lost years ago. 

The Photograph - Tenzo/Obito (set in Altered Reality universe) where an Anbu mission makes Tenzo rethink his opinion of his captain 

The Story of Your Scars - Kakayama, this is a follow on to Find Me in the Dark (in which Tenzo was captured and tortured by Orochimaru) where Kakashi tries to help Tenzo deal with the trauma of it 

Undone - Kakashi centric, young Kakashi wakes up in the hospital after his failure to save Rin (honestly this is about the shattering of Minato and Kakashi’s relationship) 

Undressed - KakaYama, Kakashi comes home broken up after a mission and Tenzo helps him remove his armor, in more ways than one

Overwatch

First Impressions - Reaper76, after the SEP injections which Jack has a difficult time with and Gabe helps him get through 

Shattered - Vincent learns about the explosion at the Swiss HQ and that Jack is missing in it 

War is Hell - Reaper76, the fallout after another bad Blackwatch mission where Jack is left picking up the pieces 

Other

Apocalyptic - Genma/Fynta (swtor crossover) where Genma is trapped in the Star Wars universe just trying to survive (co-written with Cinlat)

[wolfs-hunt1]

See me after class 4

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 1573

Warnings: Alchool consuption, sexual themes

A/N: drunk drabble for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ .  Can’t believe it took me so long to write this, but the ideia I had for it when out the window as soon as i wrote the first few words. I know I might have gotten way off topic XD. So this isnt like i had hoped for, but i do hope you’ll like it.

Part 3  

--- --- --- --- ---

The best part about Halloween season in university? All the parties being planed by the students. They were an annual occurrence, and the talk of the school for weeks before, making the corridors buzz with excitement for them. Some of your classmates were gonna dress up with matching costumes, but you?

You had something else planned. Bucky had agreed to go with you to one of the parties, since he put in for a transfer to another university the two of you could be a bit more open with your relationship, but now you couldn't really gawk up at him during classes anymore. Oh well. It was a small price to pay.

He had also agreed to let you choose your costumes. So you had decided to try and get creative with your costume, and maybe even try something new in the bedroom with him. You had chosen the costumes already, you only needed to hide them for a bit more from Bucky so that you could watch the surprise on his face when you showed him.

The week dragged on, and once the weekend came you were so excited to spend the next week with Bucky you barely managed to keep yourself from jumping up on him when he showed up at your apartment door.

"Wow there." Bucky leans down and gives you a long kiss, before looking longingly at you, "I know you are excited babe, but no need to jump me here in the hallway," he chuckles at you, leading you back inside, "we can wait for when we're inside." he waggles his eyebrows suggestively making you laugh and gently slap his arm.

"I've been two weeks without you, I don't want to wait." you two walk further into the apartment, him taking off his leather jacket and laying it on the back of the couch. You start kissing him, interlocking your fingers in his hair and pulling him to you gently. "I have something for you. It's a surprise." you say between kisses.

He hums and grabs onto your hips, walking you into a walk and moving his lips across your jaw up to your ear. "I do like surprises." he whispers lowly, making a shiver run down your spine. He sucks gently on your neck and gives a little bite before gently licking the spot to soothe the little pain. "So, what did you have planed?"

"I bought us matching costumes, and thought that maybe we could…. do some roleplay with them?" this intrigued Bucky.

"Roleplay? I think I like that idea. So… what costumes did you get us?" you felt giddiness course your veins at his question, so you moved from the wall, and pulled him with you to the bedroom. you walk up to the wardrobe and pull out two big costume bags to put them in the bed for Bucky to see.

"Go on, you can look." you say, a big smile adorning your lips while you waited expectantly for his response. He opened the bags and stopped, looking at the contents for the longest of times. There was a small smirk on his face when he took out the pair of fluffy ears and tail to inspect them better. He noticed the but plug in the tail and looked at you to see you biting your lips.

"Those are for me… and the rest is for you." Bucky put the items on the plush bed covers and looks inside the bags once more, he can see a red shirt, leather pants, and a dark red cape with a hood.

"Oh, I get it. So you're gonna be my big bad wolfy now, are you?"

"And you will be my little red riding hood." you nodded at him, getting closer to him until you stood right in front of him, between the bed.

"But here's the catch. We need to stay in the costumes all night at the party, and we can't do anything before we return home." with this is smile dropped and he forced a pout.

"Ah, babe, but watching you with that tail all night and not being able to touch will be torture to me." You lean ever closer to his body, mischieve in your eyes. You can feel him harden against your body, and so you rub harder against him, making his breath came out in hot pants. You suddenly step away, wanting and disappointment crossing Bucky's face, before he straightens himself up and concedes to your terms.

"Very well, no touching while at the party… but that doesn't mean I can't tease you." you think over his words before answering.

"Deal."

Dressing with Bucky constantly trying to tease and to grope you wasn't easy, he also made you not go to the party twice so you could stay home and fuck like mad rabbits. But you managed to take his insatiable hunger for your body and here you two were at one of the parties that were being thrown by the students.

His red shirt hugged his body in all the right places and the leather pants did little do hide his bulge, which seemed to refuse to leave every time he looked your way. The cape with the hood was a bit on the smaller side, only reaching his knees, but it was enough to know what he was dressed up as.

You had fishnets on with booty shorts, the but plug tail sticking out until your mid-thigh, swishing around every time you moved, its soft fur caressing your skin and making shivers run up your spine. You had also a leather corset, and some high heels on, making you almost as tall as Bucky himself.

His hands go to tour lower back, gently guiding you up the stairs of the frat house, before letting you walk through the door first. The entrance hall is filled with dancing monsters and fairies, everyone holding a cup of some alcohol or another. Everyone's costumes were on point and even the simpler ones had something special that put them apart from the others.

The loud music was making the entire floor boom, and the rumbly bass making your bones shake. You danced a bit around, rubbing up against bucky whenever the other people got too close to you and squeezed you to him. You could hear him hissing softly when your tail pressed up against his bulge, making you smile in triumph. You were so going to make tonight hard on him. Literally.

You did have a lot of compliments on your wolf costume, although you could see the other girl's eyes lingering more on Bucky than they should. That actually made you feel hotter, because you knew you were the one taking him home.

"I see Nat, by the bar, I'm gonna go say hi." you yell over the music, while he nodded at you and walked over to the food table.

"Hi, Nat!"

"(Y/N)!" she throws herself at you, hugging you tightly, making you stumble a bit on your heels and hug her back just as tightly. "You look hot, girl!"

"And you look devilish!", she stared at her. She, in her red lingerie and pair of black wings, was the sexiest rendition of a demon, anyone's probably seen that night.

"Wheres Wanda?"

She smiles and waggles her eyebrows, nodding to the dance floor behind you. "She's busy drooling over Vi." you looked at the place she had pointed to see Wanda and Vision dancing super close together, not even acknowledging anyone around them. "So... What about you? I see you're dressed has a cat?"

"Wolf."

"Or that... did you bought matching costumes for your date?"

"Yes. He's my little red riding hood."

"Wow, I thought it was the other way around?"

"I thought to give it a twist." you grinned, calling the attention of the bartender to make you and Nat some shots. "Besides, he looks hot in those leather pants." you nod at Bucky only to see him swarmed with college girls, wearing even less than Natasha if that was even possible.

"Seems like they are trying to steal your little red. Wanna go wolf them down?" you think for a few seconds and decide that you would. you asked the bartender for some more drinks so you could bring one to Bucky, and walk throw the crowd to them.

"Here you have it, sweetie, your drink." you say seductively, catching Bucky's eye, and the other girls. He took the cup and pulled you to him, ignoring the girl that was cuddling up to his side altogether and pushing her aside.

"And hello back, babe, I missed you when you were gone." he took a sip from the cut, and with his arm still around your waist, moved over to where Nat was laughing her ass off over the girls disappointed and angry faces for having been ignored. "You know I only have eyes for you, right?"

"Oh I do my little red, but you seemed like you needed saving from those harpies, and who best than your own bad wolf?" your voice was but a whisper on his ear, leaving then a trail of nips and kissed down his neck making him shudder.

He didn't take much longer than that. He said goodbye to your friends and grabbed you over his shoulder, taking you home soon after and making you howl his name all night long.

Part 5

[slutsofren]

I’m begging you to please give us more Kylo & Mistress AU!! Whatever you want to show us, first time ever together (sex)? Or more details on the honeymoon?

I have been thinking a lot about Mistress and CEO Kylo’s first meeting and subsequent affair, I really do love them,,, so much,,, so fucking much,,,, the attitude,,, the power shifts,,,, the playful air that engulfs them,,, ugh swoon,,, Anywho, once I got started on this, I couldn’t stop. This monster is big for a blurb lol

You can read it on AO3 here 

** CEO Kylo & Mistress AU: the meet-cute, first date sex, Bazine calls when y’all are fuckin’ and you let her listen, kind of vanilla since this is the first date and all, more in-depth into CEO Kylo’s background. I hope you enjoy this shenanigan as much as I did, Anon!

First Time Meeting and Second Missed Calls

Your phone had buzzed for the second time that night, yet another missed call from the filth of a man you were to be meeting tonight. You gave absolutely no second chances for potential business associates, especially if they’re late to the very first meeting. You rose from your seat nearby the window, asking the server to redirect your bill to the bar as you planned on drinking a couple glasses of wine to soothe your irritation.

Tonight was one of those nights where you bothered to wear heels, something you once learned from a mentor in college about appearing powerful and showing you would never bow to a man in this industry. That you could easily poke an eye out with the length of the heel. It always worked.

It had taken you some time to grow accustomed to loving your body, each and every inch of it was yours and you’d be damned if you let some man make you feel like you were less than because of your gender and curves. You loved yourself and that was that. You’d claw out the eyes of the next man who would belittle your business practices based on your gender, you would always come out on top.

You caved in and ordered whatever sweet dessert wine they offered, something few knew about you was your sweet tooth and how you’d love to sneak a delectable treat in once in a while. You drummed your fingers against the countertop, your other hand began fingering your wine glass. You took these few quiet moments to watch people, trying to silently guess why people were in Momofuku Ko on this particular evening during this very hour. A small game you enjoyed playing to pass the time.

Next to you, a woman stumbled to the bar nearly dropping her martini all over your silver dress but breaking the drink in her hand. A quick glance at her and you knew she was plastered, her loud and obnoxious voice scratching your ears. She looked relatively hopeless as she looked at the shards of glass and dripping liquid from the counter, the mess she made matching the mess her presence had.

You rolled your eyes as you checked your dress and purse quickly, making sure this miserable woman didn’t ruin your items.

“Hey! Can I get another mart-,” she tried to yell at the man behind the counter before a man cut her off, placing his hand on her shoulders from behind her. He shot you an apologetic look and faced the bartender.

“My apologies, sir, would you mind calling a cab for this woman, she seems to be out of her mind,” he stressed the last few words in her ear. The bartender raised a brow and nodded, motioning for some help from a nearby server.

“Hey you,” she threw her comments at you, “why are you dressed like a slut in front of my-” the man pulled her away from you. 

She protested, throwing her hands which way and that trying to stop herself from being promptly escorted from the premises by some security. Once she was gone, the mystery man looked at you once more, fixing his tie and suit.

A small smile left your lips as you raised your glass to him, “Wild night?”

He let out a huff, “It would seem to be.” He took long strides and sat on the opposite side of you, avoiding the broken glass and dropped alcohol.

“Your wife,” you pressed on. Curiosity nipping at your heels.

The man let out a grimace, “That obvious?”

This time you let that smile you’d be holding in appear across your plush lips. “My apologies, Mister-?”

“Ren, Kylo Ren. May I buy you another glass of wine for the inconvenience of having to see that woman’s unpleasant side, Miss?”

You paused a moment pretending to think, even taking the extra long couple seconds to suck in your bottom lip and bite it oh, so gently. “You may.” You reached your hand to his, introducing yourself to him. That meeting that brought you here was far away from your mind now that your phone hadn’t rang for what seemed like hours, maybe that fool got a clear picture that you did not offer second chances.

Before long, you two had moved to a quiet section of the restaurant. You both talked and drank the wine you prefered. Kylo said it was a new adventure since he mostly kept to whiskey but you could tell he was charmed by you and you with him.

Slowly yet surely, you found yourselves inching closer and closer to each other over the course of your conversation, his warm arm pressed around your shoulders as you both talked from everything from business pet peeves, to stock prices, and fashion. 

You looked into his eyes and for the briefest moment, you felt guilty. This was a married man, you clearly saw his wife earlier. Kylo held your chin between his thumb and forefinger, looking straight into your eyes and you felt as if he was looking into your soul as well.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he whispered your name.

“You’re married.”

“I am.”

“Then why-”

He leaned back in his seat and tore his eyes from you. He looked at the plate of food in front of him, to your hand that was still on his knee, then to the wall ahead of him. “We didn’t marry for love, if that’s what you’re wondering. I am a terrible man, I’ve burned people, I’ve caused deaths of some, I’m fire and brimstone to others. One thing I am not, is a liar.”

He took a pause, letting you absorb his words. “Bazine is my wife but it’s more of a title than an actual relationship. She owned a wonderful portion of a business I wanted to acquire and merge with my own and the condition for me to take full ownership was to be married to that dreadful woman for five years. Afterwards, I could divorce her and leave it all behind and do whatever I wanted with that company. At the time,” he finally admits, “it didn’t seem like I was sacrificing much, instead I would be gaining that much of a stronger footing over those who kept me down for so many years.”

“Delayed gratification,” you prompted.

He let out a chuckle, “Yeah, something like that. That was almost three years ago. Three years of dealing with Bazine- her drunkenness and mishandling of the company. It’s been a long three years and will be an even longer two more.”

Kylo looked at you once more and grabbed your hand, raising it to his lips giving your cold fingers a warm kiss, “Come, let me take you to your hotel.” You conceded and followed him. After all he expressed about the complications of his arranged marriage, you felt for this man. In all his struggles he just looked worn and tired and you could tell he hid it well.

You both shuffled into the cab after Kylo insisted to settle your bill with his, his warm wool coat was draped over your shoulders, covering the sparkling silver satin your dress shone like tiny starlights.

The fifteen minute or so taxi drive from Momofuku to where you stayed at the WestHouse Hotel was cozy. Kylo didn’t press on your thoughts and you admired the comfortable silence that came with being in his presence. You let yourself lean on his body, trying to absorb some of his warmth that he radiated since you met him.

Upon your arrival to the hotel, Kylo once again insisted on paying for the taxi as he did at the restaurant, “Spending this evening with you was the first time in years where I wasn’t expected to be a certain person or act in a particular manner. Being with you tonight was truly a breath of fresh air.”

Kylo fiddled with a small piece of your hair, lacing it around his fingers before letting it go. The artificial lights from the hotel illuminated his face, much more than the intimate lighting at the restaurant did. Now you took notice of each and every freckle that littered his sharp features and his eyes, how they bore into yours. Anticipating.

“Bazine,” you left your unspoken question lingering in the air between you both.

“She has had her fair share of affairs during our,” he struggles to find the right word, “situation.” You were surprised at his confession, afterall you were fairly certain she attempted to call you a slut for making eye contact with Kylo just before the two of you properly met.

“As I said before, I am many things but a liar I am not.”

Kylo cupped your face and his eye contact never faltered from your gaze. “I will never force you to do anything,” he licked his lips, “uncouth.”

Fuck it.

You grabbed his hand and led him inside WestHouse, interlacing your fingers with his. Behind you, you could hear Kylo give a low chuckle, admiring you from behind as his coat engulfed you. It didn’t matter if you were tall or short, larger or smaller in size, this man made everybody look small in comparison, not to mention how obscenely wide his chest was. He was too damn sexy for his own good and you were daring to drink from that chalice of forbidden wine at any moment now.

In the elevator, you admired how your interlocked fingers appeared together so naturally, how his large hand encompassed yours. Your white glitter painted fingernails seemed to radiate what you were feeling within you, a rush of passion and fervor. If this were to be a one night stand, so be it. It would be a night you wouldn’t forget for a lifetime.

Once the two of you walked past the threshold to your hotel room, Kylo pinned you, throwing your purse to the side. Your back against the plain door shutting it in its place, locking you two away from the outside world. His large hands cupped your face as he did moments before down below at the entrance but this time, this time he kissed you as deeply as he could. You granted his tongue access as your kisses grew heated. Wanting nothing between you if you possibly could.

Kylo dropped his hands from your face to his coat, slipping it from your shoulders and letting it fall to the ground. You took this moment to reach for his belt, slipping it from the loops of his pants, your mouth practically watering at the sound of the leather and metal falling to the floor.

He took your hand in his and led you deeper into the room, watching you like prey as you sauntered and gracefully stepped out of your d’orsay heels without having to touch them. Kylo moved your hair to the side as he began to pull on the zipper that kept you in the confines of the tight dress you wore for the evening, the sounds of the zipper being forced open on your back filled the room and you began to unbutton his shirt, the jacket he wore was thrown about somewhere else. Wherever it landed didn’t matter, only that you both got what you came for.

Each button stripped away revealing the broad chest you envisioned he had, your fingers expertly undid them as if you had been doing this dance with him since the beginning of time.

You both did not make a further move to kiss, only to gaze into each others’ eyes, as if you were engraving this moment in your minds forever. With his shirt unbuttoned and your dress just daring to fall, he raised an eyebrow at you and you let out a laugh before practically jumping into his arms. He kissed you, and kissed you, and kissed you more, trailing each one further down as he stripped the gown from your body. 

Kylo was completely enthralled by you, enchanted by your confidence and ability to not shy away from the reality of who he was, a man who dominated every aspect of his life. He showed it, he showed you and promised himself to show you just how wild you make his heart beat if you’d allow him the pleasure, just as he bound himself to give you an insurmountable level of new highs tonight.

Reaching the top of the panties you donned for the evening, Kylo paused and looked up at you, “Is this okay?”

You placed one of your hands in his hair, feeling the strands tangle around your fingers as if trapping you and never letting go. “Yes, Kylo.” He leaned forward, laying his forehead at your stomach as if silently praying, thanking whatever it was out there that led you to him. Fate intervening.

A part of him wanted to hurry and bury himself deep in you but his skin screamed to stop and take it slow, to let these moments last and treasure your body- admiring each and every curve and dip. He inched your panties lower and lower until they fell and he took this moment to kiss that beautiful spot where your thighs met your sweet spot. After a few moments of soft languid kisses Kylo lifted your leg to straddle his shoulders as he began to kiss, bite, and suck at you.

You tried to keep your composure for just a little while longer, you really did try but once he began his magic, you fervently began to release breathy moans which only encouraged him on. His large hands grasped your ass, your thighs, anywhere those long fingers could grab. His tongue worked between your folds and it threw you overboard into cascading waves of pleasure. 

Two orgasms later, Kylo released you from his hold, letting you stand on your own. As he rose, he kissed his way back up to your lips and you tasted yourself on his tongue. You began to strip his clothes off him, as he did for you. Down to his boxers you led him to the bed and laid yourself down gently, a modest queen size bed for a queen afterall.

You hesitated for just a moment and asked, “Are you sure you want to do this, Kylo?”

Hearing his name drip like golden ichor from your plush lips was a true taste of ambrosia that made his mind spin. Not once has anybody spoken his name as you have, it was always spoken laced in fear, anxiety, or greed but you, you spoke his name with adoration. You looked at him from the bed, turned to face him, anxiously waiting for his reply.

Kylo kneeled on the bed, hovering over you, encasing your body under his as he laid another chaste kiss to your lips, “More than anything.”

You raised your knees and opened yourself up to him. Mind, body, soul. Everything. Your fingers brushed past the elastic in his waistband and pulled the cloth down to reveal his large cock at your core. Grasping his hardened length he let out a breathy gasp and you could see between you both how red his cock was, desperately begging for attention.

“Fuck me,” you whined as you stroked him, “Please Kylo, I want you.”

“I want you too,” he said as he began to thrust into your hand, enjoying how your fingers felt around him. You lifted your feet to rest on his hips as you led his length to your core. He began to kiss all around your face as you let him sink into you, splitting you wide open.

He let out a quiet, “Oh fuck,” as he reached his hilt, burying himself so far into you. His large fingers came up and got tangled in your hair as he began slow ministrations of pulling almost all the way out before thrusting deep into you and beginning that cycle of pure toture and pleasure in one.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered against your neck, eyeing your expressions how your face controrts with each thrust he makes.

“Don’t stop, Kylo, please, don’t stop,” you cried. Your heart opened at his words but you forced those feelings away, unsure of what his intentions are.

Kylo sat up and kneeled once again, taking this moment to watch as his cock disappeared in your pussy. Watching how when he pulls back, his cock is glistening with physical evidence of your arousal. He became mesmerised at how your tits bounced and your face lit up with the same waves of absolute pleasure he felt. He didn’t want any of this to stop.

From the foot of the bed, a phone began to ring and Kylo let out a groan. He ignored it and continued his slow thrusts, fucking you nice and deeply. His phone stopped ringing for the briefest moment then rang again. “Fuck,” he growled. He wasn’t going to stop, no way was he going to stop one of the nicest nights of his life. The phone stopped and resumed ringing one more time, whatever it was seemed to be urgent.

He eyed you and you nodded your head, letting him leave you to get it. “Are you fucking kidding me,” he groaned.

“What is it, Kylo?”

“Bazine.”

Without giving it a second thought, you demanded, “Answer it.”

He turned and cocked his face into a smirk and placed the phone against his ear, “What do you want, Bazine.” He stepped forward back to the bed, you could now begin to hear her slurred whines and cries on the line, screaming at him.”

You reached for his phone and put it on speaker, tossing it to the side of you as you guided Kylo back to where you were before she interrupted.

“Where are you Kylo, how could you embarrass me like that,” Bazine cried.

“You embarrassed yourself, as for where I am, well,” he kissed you. “I’m currently inside one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life, fucking her nice pussy,” he groaned as you tightened around him at his compliment, “and wanting you to fuck off so we can keep going.”

Bazine let out a harsh gasp, appalled at what he was saying, “You- you’re lying.”

“Say hello,” he motioned to you.

After a moment, you cleared your voice, “I would greatly appreciate it if you’d leave Kylo alone for the night, he is a bit busy fucking me.”

“Stop fucking lying,” she yelled.

Kylo brushed his hair back as she penetrated you, “Fine, if you don’t want to believe it then listen to us fuck and deal with it. Leave me alone, Bazine.”

He began to fuck you once more, letting loose all the lewd noises your pussy could make from how sweetly he rocked into you, deeply caressing each part of you.

You arched your back and he bent down to take one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked bruises on the skin there. Wanting to leave a small part of him on you just as you left scratches on his back. Wonderful scars for a wonderful woman, he thought.

“Oh, Kylo, just like that, don’t stop,” you cried, Bazine already leaving your mind. Kylo reached over to hang up the phone and he threw it against the wall, not giving a shit if it broke. Right now all that mattered was you.

You reached up for him and placed a gentle hand at the base of his skull, pulling him to the side so you could be on top, not once disconnecting your bodies. Kylo gripped your ass as you began to bounce on his large cock, throwing your head back. “Fuck- Kylo!”

He tried, just as you did, to keep his composure but you felt far too good around him and he began to let out just as many moans.

He moaned your name and gripped your ass so hard you hoped there would be bruises there to keep as a temporary memory of this affair. Your neck was exposed to him and he reached a hand up to caress the skin there, sending shivers upon shivers down your spine. “You’re doing such a good job, bouncing like that on my cock,” he praised, “You look so beautiful.”

“Come here, little one,” he reached around you to hold you close to him as he laid you down on the bed. Not once letting you take a moment to think about that little nickname.

Kylo hoovered over you as you began to cry, he had you feeling so good that you couldn’t stop the hot tears that welled in your eyes, “Please, Kylo, go faster, I’m so close!” He took that command and did as you told him, pumping his cock so fast and so hard into you, it was earth shattering. Kylo reached his long slender fingers and began to violate your clit, aiding your desire.

Your back arched as you came around his cock, feeling overstimulated and well-fucked but he still kept going, chasing his own orgasm. Finally, he let out a deep guttural moan as he came inside of you as a sigh left your lips. Your pussy fluttered aftershocks around him, milking him. Kylo kissed you deeply once again, wanting to etch this memory deep into his mind, trying to remember the taste of wine on your lips. When he pulled away he brushed a piece of your hair away from your eyes and your gaze met his. You lifted one of your hands to brush his clean shaven face with the back of your hand. “I don’t want you to leave,” you admitted.

Kylo pulled out, and stepped off the bed. For a moment your heart broke into tiny pieces believing he was going to leave until he pulled the white duvet covers down and motioned you to slip underneath them. He returned to you, covering both your bodies while he reached his fingers down between your folds, pushing the evidence of both your orgasms back inside of you. He kissed your forehead and entwined your limbs together under the warm sheets, “Neither do I.”

[thepaperpanda]

Naughty Nun || Gabriel Van Helsing x Reader Smut

Summary: You're the nun working at an old abbey. You happen to know Gabriel Van Helsing himself, the greatest monster hunter of all time. After another mission, he visits you and he's hurt. He expects you to help him, not only to deal with his wounds.

Warnings: Smut

Words: 1875

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: We fell in love with Hugh Jackman, not so long time ago we watched Van Helsing together and were like “Let’s write something!”, so we did! We are sure he won’t appear on our blog ever again but we simply wanted to write it! ENJOY!

Gabriel wasn't really lucky, sure, he was an infamous monster hunter known as Van Helsing but even he had bad days. Encounter with a group of vampires was the main reason for it. In short, it didn't go so well, Gabriel didn't get bitten but he got pretty beaten up.

Now, covered in dirt, blood, bruises and other unidentified injuries, he hobbled to one of the chapels to find his friend who was a great nurse.

"I am done for today," Gabriel muttered going trough big entrance. "Oh, sister Y/N. I kinda... I kinda need your help." He said loudly, he knew the chapel will be empty at this point so he wasn't afraid someone's gonna see him.

You rushed to him, holding hems of your habit in one hand, you slipped arm under his shoulder to support him. "Van Helsing, what the hell has happened to you this time?!," you asked. "Don't answer, I don't really want to know!" You led him to another room and sat him in the wooden bench. "Wait here and don't die, I go brings medicaments!," you informed him.

"Hell? Isn't it like the forbidden word for you!?" He asked, teasing you. No matter the state he was in, he never stopped testing you. You weren't a real sister, you were helping around the chapel a lot but that was it, Gabriel felt less guilty for flirting with you or teasing you that other sisters didn't scold him.

Gabriel let out a growl as he tried to slowly remove layers of clothes that would for sure interrupt in your work. He removed his coat and then his thick shirt, now he was sitting shirtless, waiting at you like a good boy he 'was'.

You ran to him, holding small wooden box with bandages and some kind of mixtures. "Fuck, it doesn't look good, Gabriel," you told him as you poured some alcohol on the rag. "Oh, look, I see a warewolf!," You pointed on the ceiling and when he looked up you pressed the rag soaked with alcohol to his wound. "I'm sorry, tried to distract you."

Gabriel yelled and hissed loudly. "FUCK! It didn't help! Couldn't you simply hit me in the head!?" He said highly annoyed and let out a loud sigh. "Thank you for your help, sister," Gabriel said. "And I got into a fight with a pack of vampires." He informed you. "I think they broke my ribs..."

You shook your head. "Have I missed something? Two days ago you sworn at the holy Crucifix that you won't be messing with them without proper equipment and now this? Eh, Gabriel, you fucking dumbshit," you whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek briefly. You pressed his sides gently and smiled. "They ain't broken. Don't worry. I gotta put stitches though."

He rolled his eyes. "This wasn't my idea, I got a mission to do." Gabriel told you and hissed as you pressed on his ribs. "Oh, so now you whisper dumbshit but you were saying hell out loud? Nice sister." He teased you before stealing a kiss from your lips with a cocky smile on his.

"Shut your mouth, Van Helsing, and maybe you'll get some of the treat," you winked at him. You gently cleaned wounds in his chest and stomach, one of them required stitches so you out them on. Then, you wrapped each wound in bandage and prepared him some mixture to drink. "Drink, it's gonna help."

He looked at you with the suspicious look but took the bottle from you. Gabriel took a sip and was ready to spit it out because of the taste but he swallowed the mixture. "What the hell was that?" He muttered wiping his lips.

"Something that will help you gain proper level of stamina," you informed softly and offered him hand. "Come on, we gotta out your ass to bed so you can rest, sweetie."

Gabriel grabbed your hand and smiled. "Now I am sweetie but before I was a dumbshit. You change your mind really often, sister Y/N." He teased as he followed you to your room. Inside, he locked the door and wrapped his arm around your waist. "So, sister. Let's see if your mixture started work and I know the excellent way to test my stamina." Gabriel purred and kissed you.

You led him to your bed and pushed him on it. "You can watch but don't ya dare to touch," you pretended to sound angrily.

You moved your body and rocked hips as you were slowly taking your thick, brown robe of, reviling your shoulder first. "Like what you see?"

Gabriel smiled and giggled. "Oh, sister, I have a feeling that devil himself took control over you." He said getting comfortable on the bed despite alle the injurys that slighlty annoyed him.

You slipped your habit lower, freeing your boobs. You looked at him and smilee, playing with them a little before slipping rest of your robe down. Younwere in your velvet panties only, you walked to him and looked a him from above. "Ah, Gabriel. What shall I do with you, huh? Look what you're doing to me. First you got into troubles and later you came like a hit puppy to me to be rescued."

"Just come here!" He grabbed your waist and pulled you into the bed. Gabriel quickly turned both of you so he was towering over you. He kissed you deeply, slipping his tongue into your mouth as his thumb stroked your cheek. Gabriel pulled away after a moment and looked at you with eyes full of adoration. "I missed you, Y/N." Man addmited before pulling you into another kiss.

You reached hands to his belt and undid it quickly looking him deep in the eyes. "Oh, how much I missed you, Gabriel. I was afraid everyday that you might not come back to me," you slipped hand in his pants and smiled, wrapping palm around his soft member. You squeezed and jerked on him while kissing him with tongue.

Gabriel growled into a kiss as you jerked him off. "Such a naughty, naughty sister you are." He purred before returning to kiss. Gabriel missed you so much that just a bit of your touch made him rock hard. "And look what are you doing to me."

You rolled with him trying to be careful to not hurt him. You tugged his pants down and pumped his shaft few times before taking him in your mouth.

Gabriel gasped and looked down on you. "Fuck, Y/N." He moaned quietly before moving his hand into your hair to gain some of the control over your movement. He bucked his hips to push himself deeper into your throat, Gabriel was really desperat for any feeling.

You pulled him out of your mouth to lick vein on his lower part. You sucked his cock before sucking it back into you mouth and bobbing head quickly back and forth. Your free hand massaged his balls as you deep-throated him.

"Fuck." He gasped and rolled his head back into your pillow. Gabriel grabbed your hair and your head down, pushing his cock as deep as possible. He emptied himself into your throat and sighed loudly. "I think I waited on you too long or I got too excited." He teased you.

"I see this, Gabriel," you said as you slipped out of your panties and straddled his bearded face. "If you'll be a good boy, you'll get a price," you informed.

Gabriel smiled and wrapped arms around your hips, he pulled you down to place gently kisses on your clit and lips. First, he played with you by sucking your lips gently before pushing just the tip of his tongue past your lips. Soon he started to eat you at like a hungry animal.

"Oh my holy hell," you rolled head back into your head, pleasure was already unbearable. You waited for this too long. You craved him and his touch, he was spinning your head round. You rocked your hips quickly trying to.het more friction while.you reached your hand back to jerk over his yet hard again member.

"Don't use this word, sister." He lectured you and winked at you before pressing his face to your heat, pushing his tongue deep into you. One of his hand relised your hip and his hand traveled to your entrance. Gabriel looked up on you before he started pushing two fingers into you. Now he was eating you out while fingering you.

"Fuck you, van Helsing," you grunted rolling head back and jerking hardly onto his cock. Soon, you got off his face and bended down to kiss his lips, you tasted your wetness on them and grinned happily. Then, you straddled his lap and guided his cock right into your core, your pussy sucked it all and you let out a moan.

He smiled and gladly kissed you back. Gabriel sat up, pulling you closer to him, he started to buck his hips into you while playing with one of your breasts. He was kissing and biting your neck as his fingers played with your nipple.

"Just like this, Gabriel and you'll fucking make me cum so hard around your sweet cock," you whispered into his ear as your nails digged into his shoulders. You bucked your hips for him as well, his cock was spreading your inner walls on and on.

"Come on, don't hold it, sweetheart. I want to feel you, I want to feel your pussy spasming around my hard cock." Gabriel purred and his hand traveled to your clit to rub gently circles there. His thrusts became deeper and faster.

"God, yes, yes, yes!," You threw head back in outburst of pleasure that overwhelmed your body. Cold shivers ran down your spine. After a second you removed yourself from him and laid down on your side, wiggling your bun at him. "Come one, van Helsing, what are you waiting for? Come on and save me, I'm losing my mind."

He let out a quiet, tired chuckle. "You really love to tease me." Gabriel purred and laid down on his side right behind you. He let out a quiet hiss because of his injuries but soon he pushed back into you. He took your leg and place it above his hips, his hand traveled to your clit to continue his fun while he fucked you hard.

You reached hand back to wrap.it around his neck, you were a moaning mess, whimpering his name and whining about how good your pussy feels.when it's being fucked by his rock hard cock. You massaged you breasts then placed hamd on his palm between your thighs. "I'm cumming!" You screamed.

"Good girl." He purred and kissed your nape as his hips didn't stop moving. Gabriel followed you soon and pushed deep inside of you, filling you up. He growled and nuzzled to your back as he tried to catch his breath, the hand that was on your clit now gently stroked your belly. "I love you, Y/N." He whispered, kissing your shoulder.

You turned your head to kiss him deeply, lazily. "I love you too. Nuzzle to me and rest, you're safe and sound.”

Pandies🐼: @imidarogerson @grossograsso @thewildgardensstuff @leven-and-ashley @la-verdura @bearded-steve-rogers @sebbystan-plantlover @atuckyismylife @krispyjellyfishzombie @personality-within @haseki-huricihan @choppedgardenwhispers @vroobelek @lattimelka @chris-beamz @hidden-secrets69 @purepearls @volcanoxxx @kastrup-sofie @mikkal-akasaki @withoutashadowofhope @radbluebirdeagle @marvel-fan-site @smutloversblog @buquete @super-psycho-love69 @tanglesss @peter-sommer @baysidewest @vegemania @philip-stan @chodiusmmm @subwaystunnel @tykorclint @dagger-dragger @kurant @nothing-can-least-forever @oxfordkipem @deliciousbouquet90 @tuptuptup @hellenna80 @karina-marina9 @latimeriaaa @bratko @wurld89 @scott-evans @kiss-me-rouge @ovonel-espaniol @dancing-tacco @ratugadhi @white-tiger-shangrila @axn69 @eternal-life-awaits @mrs-laura-harmon @artsy-inside @gleeeeees @darkllaama @jatut @agawux @fuzzy-tigrrr @jrjohnsson2 @maaargoshaaa @dontgetmewrongman @einexx @nwmtagsb @anini71 @secretlygrantaire @kyloren-supreme-ben @infinity-stones-seeker @thehappyspider @wings4life @huxyluxy @dontbeafraidchild @misafiryanki @electronicpatrolcollective @thisismysecrethappyplace @aulika @hidden-secrets69 @a-happy-wolf @creative-seahorse

[thorman-barnes]

Sugarbaby | Part 3

pairing: stucky x reader

requested: yes/no i don’t know but people seem to like this series lol

prompts: this part is a mobster au

summary: steve and bucky are you sugar daddies and they find you in their office

warnings: age gap (not mentioned though), sexual innuendo at the end

Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Summer Prompt List

please tell me what you think || if you have any ideas or want to see something specific for this series please let me know!

You sat on the chair that belonged to Steve's office. It was a little too big for your size since it was meant for someone built like Steve or Bucky but still, you made yourself comfortable.

You made yourself at home by organizing his desk (he didn't mind the disorganized mess but it bothered you something awful). His papers were neatly stacked, pens and pencils placed in a jar at the corner of his desk, and you even took the liberty to place a framed photo of yourself on his desk (because you realized he needed something pretty too look at while in your absence).

You sighed and leaned back on the chair, ankles crossed on top of the desk.

What does a girl have to do to get their attention? Prance around naked? Hardly. Those two have been too busy lately they wouldn't even recognize themselves in the mirror.

For the past hour, you had been in the office and you'd been so bored out of your mind, you explored the office. You bird watched from the tall windows behind his desk, you took some sips from the alcohol you'd found at the table beside the double doors, you found Steve's sketchbooks and sneaked a peek (you may or may not have found some sketches of you in the nude), the sketches alone gave you an idea.

For about ten minutes you laid on the couch in the middle of the large office in only your baby pink lingerie waiting for either men to walk into the office - but no luck. Pouting, you put your dress back on, you were only craving their attention that they've denied you the last two weeks.

You lazily put your hair into a high ponytail and began to look through the newspaper that was on the counter behind Steve's chair. You grinned when you saw who made the front page.

Steve and Bucky's mugshot placed side-by-side. It's been a year that the police have been trying to catch them doing something shady to get them in prison for good this time. But your boys were too smart to get caught and it was bothering law enforcement something awful that they've set camp just outside the manor to spy on them only for Bucky to pull the curtains open and flip them off (you would giggle in the back while Steve scolded him).

Their mugshots alone made you giggle. Bucky with his tousled hair, bags under his eyes, and a smirk on his lips. Just by looking at his picture you knew he had something up his sleeve. Steve who boringly stared into the camera like he couldn't be bothered by his current situation (he wasn't) and knew they were only wasting his time (they were) because he was getting out soon enough (they did).

Just then, the double doors opened and in walked the two men that made your heart speed up and stop all at the same time and caused butterflies to go in a frenzy in your belly.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here, Stevie," Bucky grinned and sat at one of the chairs across from you.

You grinned back and straightened your back, your hands folded on top of the desk.

"Someone's been busy," Steve commented as he took the seat beside Bucky and took in the room around him. He wasn't at all bothered by the fact that you occupied his seat when usually he'd have someone begging for mercy on their knees for messing with his things.

"Yeah, took you long enough to come here," you snapped.

"Now, darling, don't get feisty on us," Bucky bit his bottom lip and leaned back on his seat, legs spread apart and hands on his thighs. You had no idea how much you wanted to kiss him until now. All you wanted to do was climb onto his lap and kiss him until one of you had to pull away to gasp for air.

Before you could even think of a reply, Steve started to laugh lowly and you scrunched your eyebrows together as you both looked over at him.

He had your framed photo in his hands and you quickly stood up to try and snatch it from him only for him to pull away quickly before your fingers could even make contact with the thing. "How'd this get here?" He passed it to Bucky to look at.

Bucky's smile brightened the room as he examined the photo in his hands. He looked up briefly at you only to look back up down at the photo but it was enough to cause butterflies to flutter around within you.

"You needed something pretty in your office," you tried to keep a confident smile but failed. Their pretty eyes and dazzling smiles were enough to reduce you to a stuttering mess. "Don't worry, there's in your office too," you winked at Bucky and grabbed the framed photo, pulling it from his fingers and setting it back down on Steve's desk.

"Are you naked?" Bucky asked, referring to the framed photo that sat on his desk. His snickers turned into wheezing when Steve's arm made contact with his stomach.

"I was," you shrugged and glared at them, "but you kept me waiting and I got bored, so I kept myself busy."

Steve cocked a brow, licking his lips and a boyish grin began to appear on his soft lips. "Is that so?"

You nodded and smiled, knowing he was thinking something dirty. "Mhm," you pulled out two debit cards from one of Steve's drawers, each contained his or Bucky's name. How you managed to get your hands on them was beyond them. As far as they had been concerned, they were out of your reach. "Online shopping is quite fun."

"We're goin' to go bankrupt, princess," Bucky mentioned but you merely shrugged and played with the two cards in your fingers.

"A small price to pay for my happiness," you grinned.

Steve stood up and walked around the desk and leaned against it, besides you. He was peering down at you, his arms crossed over his chest. "So, now that you have our attention, darling, what were you planning on doing with it?"

"Now? Nothing."

Bucky leaned forward, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"Two can play this game, gentlemen," you stood up, "now get out of my office, I have things to take care of." You pointed at the door, looking straight into Steve's eyes like you were daring him to challenge you.

You realized neither of the boss men would have let anyone talk to them this way but you were testing the waters - trying to see how much you could get away with (a lot).

Bucky held back a laugh. It was amusing to watch you stand up to Steve and him. You were like a small puppy compared to them. They'd give you treats and it returns they got sass and sometimes some attention.

And here you were, trying to make your point about not receiving their attention for the past two weeks. You are probably the only person they allowed to walk around the manor like they owned the place (you did, having them wrapped around your perfect little finger had its perks).

"Oh, yeah?" Bucky asked and stood up, he leaned over the table, coming face-to-face with you. His face was so close to yours, you could smell the minty freshness of his breath - he must have had a smoke, you realized, he knows how much Steve hates it so he always takes a mint thinking it'd fool you both. "Like what? You know what, Stevie, I think our doll is forgetting who's the one calling the shots here."

"I think you're right, Buck," Steve replied and pushed some of your hair behind your ear, exposing your neck to him. He leaned in and laid a soft, gentle kiss on your neck.

Bucky's fingers found their way to your chin and he pulled you closer and Steve moved with you, his lips still peppering kisses along your neck.

Then, Bucky tilted your head back ever-so-slightly, nipped at your neck, your jaw, your cheek, "So pretty, our baby doll. . ."

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[screensirenfic]

Black Leather - Chapter 1

Life had remained largely the same, despite the obvious overhanging changes over the last year. I mean; life had always been hectic; disastrous even, taking turns and downright derailing at the worst times. We’d experienced loss again and again, been chewed up and spat on, but got up fighting; because that was what being a Hopper meant, being too damn stubborn to die. It was in the genes.

Life had gotten weirder. The discovery of real, living and fucking breathing monsters had been a big ole’ “fuck you” to logic, but science seemed to back it up with the uncovering of Hawkins lab and whatever sinister experiments they were running there. Of course; that wasn’t a concern any more, considering old Uncle Sam had shut that down quicker than the health inspector at Benny’s; God rest his soul.

But even with the finality of the death and burial of Hawkins greatest catastrophe/mystery; it still left a lot of bodies in its wake, one of which I was currently adjusting to calling sister.

Eleven. El. Jane. Whatever people preferred to call her; she was currently sharing a home with Me and my dad, as we all played happy families in the darkened depths of Indiana woodlands. I liked the kid; I’d admit it. She was sweet in her own way, and knowing she could toss shit around with her mind made her much cooler than the average thirteen year old. Of course; all of that was a secret. Everything about El was; as far as the government knew, she didn’t exist. It was the price that had to be payed for safety, and God knew dad valued that above all else: including our sanity.

So instead we stayed shut inside that little wooden hut forgotten by time and space, sneaking in and out at the rising and setting of the sun, like criminals or bats in the night. It was enough to drive you crazy; and trust me, dad was already half way there. Tensions ran high all the time; higher than they had at the height of his PTSD, and God; sometimes I just wanted to scream. For someone to address that shit wasn’t normal, rather than sitting around and pretending that it is.

The only true bit of normality was school and work. Mainly just school, as the arrival of a new dependant meant my work hours were seriously fucked. Wasn’t the kid’s fault; dad was a workaholic, didn’t know when to call it a day, and that left me picking up the pieces. It was Sara all over again. At least back then things were normal. There was still trauma, but it was the kind normal families had. A missing parent; semi-alcoholic father; that was shit everybody had to deal with, but this. This was the stuff that only happened in B movies.

—————————————

God; sometimes I really loved having a motorcycle. The wind slapping your face like a Californian wave; that rush of adrenaline when you take a corner a little too fast, when death seems just moments away. It was like flying; soaring through the air without limits. No; it was more visceral than that. Like free falling; the absolute relinquishment of control as you hurtle through the ozone, the earth rising up at you as the void closes in; death approaching at a hundred miles per hour.

You couldn’t compare it to any other sensation. I’d seen kids trying to mimic it on tiny dirt bikes painted up like NASCARS; their little legs spinning the pedals like turbines as they tried to reach just a lick of that speed. To feel the breeze on their face; the closest you could get to freedom in the tiny township of Hawkins, Indiana. That rush didn’t touch the one I felt when I rode my Triumph, hitting 80 as I threaded through standstill traffic; the reaper breathing down my neck.

But like all great rides; it came to an end too soon, the nondescript flat roofed shape of Hawkins High rapidly approaching. I pulled into the parking lot, cruising through row after row of dusty cars; from the beat up old Pacard, to the shiny new Chevy.

I parked a couple of rows before the school, swinging my leg over my saddle as I finally accepted my joy ride was over and I’d have to land back on earth.

“Hey; Lola!” A familiar voice rang out as I pulled off my helmet, shaking my hair loose, less the dreaded helmet hair take hold.

Nancy Wheeler; Hawkins High’s very own Miss Perfect, the princess of Indiana. She was the daughter fathers dreamed of; pretty in a girl next door kind of way, well behaved, a high achiever; the kind to bring home boys who got her back by ten and kissed goodbye at the door. I got called other things. Jail bait, wild child; a lawsuit waiting to happen. Well meaning grandparents used girls like me as a cautionary tale to expecting parents on what too little discipline did to ‘nice little girls’.

Not that I didn’t like Nancy. She was nice, and Steve’s girlfriend too. Besides, being a princess was hard; a lot of expectations to live up to, a lot of hopes to let down. I never had that problem, and with her cotton candy smile; I couldn’t help but give one in return.

“Hey Nance” I chirped, placing my helmet on the back of my motorcycle and knowing damn well no one would dare touch it.

“Steve was just wondering if you’d take a look at his college application...” She began, and I could see the flustered figure in question trailing behind her.

“He’s been finding it hard to find the right words, and we know how you never get tongue tied.” She joked, and I took it at face value; I was getting A’s, despite the perception that girls like me were only good at one thing and one thing only.

“Is that so, Steve?” I asked, unable to hide my smugness as I stared at him, despite his insistence on avoiding eye contact.

There was nothing I enjoyed more than really digging into him. It was just too easy; to push all his buttons. Of course; he did the same in return, but who really had more to lose? The self proclaimed king of Hawkins High, or his leather clad sidekick?

“Yeah, sowouldyoutakealookatit?” He mumbled, rubbing his nose as if he could hide the words as you would a cough.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I didn’t quite get that.” I purred with all forced sweetness and sacharine smiles. I could never resist the urge to really twist the knife.

“I said, would you take a look at it...” he sighed; a visible strain on the admission of inferiority.

“Please...” He added, drawing a smile to my lips. Sweet, stubborn Steve; too good to ask for help, and  just desperate enough to need it; but then what are friends for?

“Sure thing Harrington...” I grinned, finally plucking the crumpled stack of papers from Nancy’s grasp. “Would love to.” I removed my gaze from him, savouring the rare look of humbleness on his face, and turned it upon the paper.

——————————————-

Steve Harrington was many things. Charismatic. Caring. Rich. Good looking. A great guy with almost endless good qualities, but smart wasn’t one of them. I’d spent the best part of a quarter of an hour troweling through his paper with about as much joy as a prospector in a dry well, but was yet to strike gold.

It really was garbage, and that was treating it nicely, but still both me and Nancy tried our best to revive a corpse; not because we felt there was anything worth saving, but because it was Steve, and we cared about his future; even if it was doomed to culminate behind a deep fat fryer in a fast food joint.

My eyes trailed across line after line of smudged ink; much of it crossed out and rewritten in the margins, trying to make sense of whatever it was he was trying to convey in a comparison between WW2 and a basketball game between us and Northern.

“And did you...” I said; pointing out a particular eyebrow raising line, talking about the all American value of victory.

“Yeah; that’s what I thought...” She agreed, picking up off my tone and honing in on the line in question.

“Uh huh” I mumbled reading onwards on what was a virtual mine field of badly used metaphors and poorly linked  stories.

Steve didn’t seem to fare much better than his essay, pacing restlessly up and down a small stretch of parking lot, reminding me distinctly of an expecting father in the delivery room. However; his midwives were much more willing to take our time perfecting the delivery of his academic baby.

“And don’t you think...” Nancy trailed of, redirecting my attention to a sentence circled in red marker. Another misused simile courtesy of the genius that is Steven Harrington.

“My thoughts exactly.” I concurred, knowing that we were both desperately avoiding as coming across as purposely nitpicky with his work.

A loud, impatient sigh interrupted our conversation as Steve’s nerves finally reached their limit.

“I’m sorry, but are you girls anywhere near done?” He asked, drawing our attention away from the paper and up to his signature Steve Harrington pose; hands perched on his hips.

“We were just trying to find some constructive criticism to give you...” She began her tidy little avoidance bullshit; the kind that came with years of forced diplomacy beneath the perfect four bed suburban roof. The kind of bullshit I couldn’t stand; let alone tolerate. I had to put an end to it.

I strolled up to Steve, shoving the proverbial toilet paper he’d used as an application to his chest in a way that told him loud and clear what the truth about his efforts were.

“She means your paper sucks, man...” I translated; my words holding none of her polish, but all of the dirty intentions beneath.

“I wasn’t going to say that. I was...” She said; already backpedaling the hard truth I’d spilt onto the table.

Steve just gave her a look. He knew she was lying; if only to save his feelings. He may not have been smart, but he wasn’t stupid.

“Okay; it’s a little suckish, but nothing we can’t fix...” She offered in consolation; a weak smile the most she could offer in her lie.

I was about to object, knowing the hole she was digging the both of us was deeper than we could deliver upon, when a grisly roar overshadowed all thought. I knew the sound well; all eyes turning to it’s source, the newest arrival to Hawkins.

A Chevy Camaro; older, probably fixed up by some dedicated hobby mechanic with too much time on his hands. I’d seen hundreds of them in the shop in varying states of rustiness; most beyond repair, but still, some insistent gashead would insist it could be done, sinking fistfuls of dollar into what was essentially raising the titanic.

“Nice car.” Nancy remarked, and for a princess like her to notice, it must be true. It was in good shape. Baby blue with just the slightest of wear on the paint; someone took a lot of care with their baby. Fuck; if I had one, I probably would too!

“Yeah, but I bet the backseat is a nightmare.” Joked Steve; insecurity seeping into what was meant to be a light dig.

Not the only man with a nice ride on the block now.

His dig fell short when the driver stepped out, hard rock pounding in his stead.

Pretty; was my first thought. Like his car, he had all the well tailored ruggedness that created the perfect balance between pretty boy and rebel. Blonde haired, blue eyed; think James Dean if he had a mullet.  His clothes looked good too; double denim that clung to him like a second skin, with a white t shirt that really left nothing to hide.

Smoking a cigarette with movie star casualness, if I’d seen him in a movie, I’d be drooling. But this wasn���t a movie; this was Indiana, and I’d seen too many of his type roll up to Charlie’s in pretty cars with prettier faces thinking it meant the world owed them something. That that something was hidden somewhere down the denim shorts I wore so religiously.

I’d had it with pretty boys. They could all go jump off a bridge.

And as if he was already decided to live up to the cliche, he went and cemented it when he strolled past us, dripping sex and arrogance; his eyes trailing up and down me like I was something to be bartered for, like I could be bought.

“What an asshole.” Sneered Steve, taking the words out of my mouth, and I almost smiled; because of course he’d be the one to say it.

But I didn’t; not when the new kid was leering at me with all the restraint of a hungry dog.

I watched him lick his lips; that’s right, lick. his. lips. Pink tongue peaking out past too perfect teeth, running across a full bottom lip. I tried telling myself it wasn’t sexual. That it was just a private little tick that he couldn’t control. But his eyes had never left me; a dark grin that promised any number of sins stretched across a heartbreaker’s face.

“Yeah. An asshole.” I agreed; the word rolling off my tongue automatically, but I don’t think my heart was in it. That frightened me.

That, and the small itch in my stomach that grew every time his bright baby blues met my green.

Finally; those blues relented, tongue disappearing behind white teeth as he shot me a smile that could’ve sent knees buckling. A quick wink and he was done, strutting into Hawkins High like a stormy breeze that was sure to rock the entire school.

“Hey Lo. You listening?” Came Steve’s voice through a fog of cigarette smoke and gasoline; the smell reminiscent of home, despite its cause being far from homely.

“Yeah. Sure...” I replied, tearing my eyes from where the newcomer had disappeared into the school.

“Let’s get to class before we’re late.” I said, shouldering my bag as if it was any other Monday morning. And it was.

Just another manic Monday.

[demonsofhunting]

All My Sins - Chapter 9

Pairing: priest!Cas x demon!Dean

Summary: Finally! Dean is appearing at Castiel's doorstep out of nowhere. What happened to him? What made him leave? The priest wants answers - the worries are killing him, even though he's more than just happy to see his boyfriend. And Dean is willing to talk...

Warnings: FLUFF ( yay! XD ), implied smut, angst, mentions of past abuse and murder...

Words: about 1800

A/N: Welcome to chapter nine! Now, you'll finally get some answers...I can't hold it back much longer. XD Prepare for some serious emotions and tears. Gawd, I love my precious babies so damn much! *sobbing*

Catch up here ( Masterlist ) :D

I hope you'll like it! Enjoy! <3

"Dean?" Cas rasps, his voice nothing but a tiny whisper. Dean Winchester smiles, cocking his head. Oh, how Cas loves his smirk...and those green, green eyes... "The one and only," he mutters, blinking with his long lashes. Then he looks down, suddenly nervous. He swallows hard, and his gaze is meeting Cas' again. There are tears in his eyes. "Damn it, Cas, I - ", he begins, but gets interrupted by the priest, who pushes him against the wall, just to kiss him in desperation. Dean does the same, his hands are running over Castiel's chest, touching him like he's the most precious thing in the world. Damn, it feels so good... Cas moans, as Dean pulls away, slowly. After a heavy breath, the young man says: "God, I missed you so fucking much!" "Same here," Cas whispers, stroking the other's cheek, gently. I could stare at these freckles forever. "Dean...what the hell happened? I...I thought I was going insane and - ", Cas stutters, but hesitates as Dean kisses him again, softly. "Not now, honey," he whispers into the priest's ear, making him shiver, "I promise that I'll tell you everything tomorrow. But...all I want right now is feel you, Cas. Everywhere. Please." His voice is so dark and soft, but filled with love and Castiel can feel his knees going weak almost immediately. "Promise?" he mutters, but he already knows that he lost the 'discussion'. Dean smiles, widely. He raises an eyebrow, licking his lips. "I promise," he answers with a wink. "Perfect," Cas mutters, and pulls him closer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As Castiel wakes up the next morning, he feels awesome. After many nights with Meg, that were everything but quite enjoyable, the time with Dean was...incredible. As always. It's like they just know what the other wants, what he desires. They can communicate without words, and that's what makes their bond so special. The priest smiles to himself, as he turns around in bed, just to find Dean sleeping next to him. God...how can anybody look so beautiful while sleeping?! I bet I look like a troll while I'm asleep. He takes himself a couple of minutes to just simply appreciate the other's presence. His gaze is flowing over Dean's soft lineaments, enjoying every single detail. He's here. With me. And we're safe. The priest sighs, as the young man opens his eyes, slowly. "Hey," he mutters with a mild smile, "Why are you staring at me like a creep?" "'Cause I love you. Am I not allowed to appreciate a work of art when I see it?" Castiel answers, smirking. His heart is filled with so much warmth, that it feels like it's going to explode. He leans forth, until his lips are stroking over Dean's cheek, gently. "Okay. Now tell me," he whispers, blinking, "What happened to you?" Dean's eyes are going dark for a second, but it vanishes after a moment or two. "Are you sure that you want to know it?" the other says, seriously. He looks at Cas, questioning. The priest nods. "I am. Please, Dean. Talk to me," he begs, quietly. His heart is already beating faster, and he forces himself to calm down. There will be a harmless explanation for things...please let there be a harmless explanation... "I did bad things, Cas", Dean says after a few heartbeats of silence, "I killed people. And it was fun." Castiel blood runs cold. "Dean..." "No. Please. You need to hear it all to understand it. Just hang on, okay?" The priest nods, weakly. He can feel the tears coming up his throat, and Dean grabs his hand, softly. The other's touch is warm and familiar, and it makes Castiel calm down a little. He breathes in, deeply, as Dean continues: "It all began about three years ago. I...you know what I told you about my father? The way he treated me and my brother?" Cas nods. "After Sammy was gone, I...I just couldn't take it anymore. I knew that he wouldn't let me go. I knew that he would find me anywhere. And if he wouldn't be able to find me, he would go after Sam. I still don't know how he could become such an awful person. Anyway, Sammy was gone and I was in absolute despair. My father was worse than he had ever been, forcing me into...let's just say a life I didn't want to live. I didn't saw a light at the end of the tunnel, so I made a very awful decision. Actually, I did some research for fun as I stumbled upon the legends of crossroad demons and the deals that they are making if you ask them to do so. So...it said that they would make every wish come true. And all I wanted was to be free. So I got to a crossroad far, far away from town, and did the ritual to summon one. A - and it worked. I sold my soul for one purpose: that my dad would just disappear and never bother me or my brother again." He swallows, heavily, and closes his eyes. It seems like the memories are hurting him, awfully. Castiel's mouth is open, slightly, his fingers are curled around Dean's like he is the other's only anchor in this moment of truth. "Oh, Dean...", he whispers. "It worked. My father died, in the exact moment I sealed the deal with the demon. Heartattack. It was so damn simple. At first, I was filled with relief, but then I began to realise what I just did. I killed my father. I was a fucking monster. And as if this wasn't enough, this son of a bitch from a demon was kind enough to tell me, that now that they have my soul, they will feed from it until I will become one of them. They gave me about three years until I will  go completely crazy. That was the price I had to pay. Not a very good deal, if you ask me. I totally fucked up. The next months I basically spent with lots of sex, alcohol and drugs, doing everything to drown my thoughts, so that I didn't need to think about how terrible my future was going to be. After a while I decided that this was stupid as hell, and ran out of town. I tried to find a solution for my problem. I asked everyone that I came across, psychics and stuff, but nobody could help me. They felt all very sorry for me, but none of them could do something to save me from the darkness that was growing bigger and bigger inside my heart and mind. I could feel it crawling under my skin, a thirsty, terrible monster. It spoke to me, always tried to make me do bad things. And sometimes, I gave in. And it felt so damn good. The feeling of seeing a person's life fade into their eyes when they die...it turns me on. And that's just sick. I hate what I am, Cas. I hate it so fucking much." Castiel blinks, biting his lip. He tells himself to stay calm. We can get through this. We will find a solution. Together. "But you haven't hurt me, Dean. You aren't a bad person. We can fix this," he says. "Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is that this -you and me - wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't meant to fall in love. But I did. And I left the town, because I didn't want to hurt you. I felt that things were getting worse, and I tried to run from myself. There are hounds of hell wherever I go. They're chasing me, making me go crazy. It almost seems that they're waiting for me to lose my humanity completely," Dean tells the priest, staring into the void. The other hesitates: "So...whenever you seemed to see something that wasn't there, this were hellhounds? Like the thing that almost got me to drive into a tree?" His eyes are going wide. Dean nods. "But as you can see, now I'm back," he continues with a weak smile, "I just couldn't stay away from you. Actually, I felt my insanity getting stronger and stronger as I drove away...I think you're something like my anchor. Without you, I need to kill." After these words, they're both silent for a couple of seconds. "Holy shit," Castiel burst out, eventually. "I know," Deam sighs, biting his bottom lip, "You just slept with a murderer. Congrats." "I cleaned up your house, Dean," the priest admits, suddenly, and the other stops. "What?" "I cleaned everything up. I - I buried the body. I made sure that nobody would find something suspicious in there," Castiel whispers, and suddenly, there are tears streaming down his cheeks, "Dean, I...it was awful!" Dean pulls the priest closer, softly. He kisses the other's forehead. A single tear is running down his cheek. "I...I'm so sorry, Cas. I - " he says, his voice rough, and filled with pain and regret. "No, no. It's okay," Cas determines, fastly, "It...it wasn't your fault. We...we'll find a solution. I promise." Dean looks at him with nothing but desperation in his eyes. "Cas, you don't understand! There is no escaping! It's just a matter of time, and then I'll - " And for a moment, his eyes are flashing black. It's absolutely terrifying, and the priest winces. The darkness vanishes again like nothing happened and Cas can feel a claw clutching around his heart. He swallows, looking at Dean with determination in his eyes. "We will get through it, okay? I don't believe that you tried everything that's possible to get you out of this stupid deal,"he says. "But - " "No. We'll get you out of this misery. Or we'll find a way for you to live with it." "To live with it?! Cas, I am a killer!" "And?" "And?!" "I love you. I can't help but I love you. That means I am part of this misery as well, and you can't change my mind. I've already gone through hell for you, Dean, and I'm ready to do it again." Castiel raises his chin, and looks into Dean's eyes. He watches the other's gaze soften, slowly. The young man cries, as he curls his arms around Cas, holding on to his love in desperation. "Thank you," he whispers into the priest ear, burying his face on the other's chest. I've already gone through hell for you, and I'm ready to do it again.

( A/N: CHAPTER TEN <3 )

And that was chapter nine! Thank you so much for reading, and if you would like to leave a comment or reblog this shit,I will love you forever! <3

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"All My Sins" Tags:

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[armsdealing]

/ LA VIE EN ROSE.

paris prefers you in pink. it will always prefer you in pink, champagne bubbling up in its glass, and rose-tinted glasses -- c'est lui pour moi. moi pour lui dans la vie. il me l'a dit, l'a jure pour la vie: honey words, lovely voice, sweet kisses to petal-soft lips. paris prefers you like this.

                                                           ***

la vie en rose is a verse subservient to elements already established in the otherworld verse and the nulliverse. it is an au with focus on crime and -- as you might’ve guessed -- centered around europe as setting, particularly france. general trigger warnings apply: violence, gang violence/crime, murder, drug and alcohol usage. it will have supernatural and non-supernatural variants (in the non-supernatural case, simply ignore the fantastical bits), as well as a period variant upon-request.

continue if you wish to read more about this verse, and the characters involved in it.

FUNDAMENTALS.

so this is a verse that’s actually been present for quite a while, but not on the level that i’m working it right now. its main focus is very simple: it explores the what if of marcelo having grown up in sicily with the marconi family as opposed to the reyes in either colombia or the states. 

both of his parents died exactly as did in canon, and at age 19, he officially assumed his father’s moniker, dents de sabre. at age 24, he put that name to good use as he went about ruthlessly yet methodically wiping out every single presumed and not-so-presumed enemy of his parents, really anyone that could’ve played a role in ysmael reyes’ disappearance and death. nobody was spared in the process, which immediately put his name out there in the criminal landscape. 

marcelo has been aged up to become 31 years old. he went about working in contract killing capacity for the marconi family between ages 18 and 30. he was very good at his job regardless of range and regardless of difficulty. he’s become known for his tenacity, especially when it comes to killing other supernatural creatures -- fae, demons, vampires, werewolves, witches. he’s had no shortage of powerful victims. at age 26 he also picked up enhanced interrogation.  

the job took him to france, which is currently where he lives. he resides in the quartier latin of paris, and though he continues to pick up contracts, he no longer affiliates himself with the marconi. that means that he will no longer exclusively work for them and is now independent. 

his front job is to work at a bar owned by bulgarian fae, le six tireurs. it is notable for being neutral grounds as far as business is concerned. 

speaking of the marconi family, their power comes into full swing in this verse. they have complete control of sicily and southern parts of italy, and influence throughout europe, and still in the united states. though marcelo has chosen to disconnect from the family, he is still biologically related to the family’s padrone, giancarlo marconi. marcelo’s his grandchild. as a result he will really never be not associated with them. 

OTHER CHARACTERS INVOLVED WITH THIS VERSE.

though marcelo is my main focus in this verse there’s many characters that can be interacted with, that also exists in this au since it’s basically just the european otherworld. for more information on them, click their names.

MIKHAIL REZANOV: owner of bibliothèque d'encre dorée, a library in paris known to store very special books that humans tend to consider odd or just useless. a lot of these books talk are about forbidden magic but are written in code, or talk about innocuous things like history or biology but happen to be from different dimensions or different timelines of the earth, there’s also poetry in various dead languages, et al. on top of this, mikhail is also a very well-respected member of the eurocouncil and the high priest of the old god zhaogd'endir, also known as janus. he’s a good source of information when it comes to old gods and monsters in general, as he’s tasked with overseeing a few of them. he’s always happy to share a cup of tea with you. 

LORENZO SCARLATTI: fashion designer, member of the marconi family, tailor of clothes known to be impervious to magic and resist both a normal bullet and a werewolf bite. open to commissions if you’ve been referred by someone. a laestrygonian that has been alive for at least one century who was not born with the face he currently wears. 

RENAUD: a cosmic anomaly that gave himself a name and also a purpose: cult leading. malignant entity that feeds off people’s fear and sexual energy. known to visit people in dreams to elicit these emotions. will visit you looking like your biggest object of desire, and will possibly try to rope you into the aforementioned cult, or simply possess you for a day or two. occasional council asset.

VITALE: the king of vampires, nearly old as the condition. presumed son of a goddess. does not live in france but will frequently travel anywhere he pleases, other than that his focus is on either italy or egypt. a council member. will kill u if you so much as sneeze in his general direction -- jk, he’s too affable for that. 

THE EUROPEAN COUNCIL.

the organization tasked with overseeing supernatural activity in europe, with key representatives from every single country. mikhail is part of the council, as are several members of the marconi family (with giancarlo leading the charge). their concern is politics and control over the information regarding magic. there are other, shadier objectives, depending on who you ask, but overall this organization is shrouded in mystery and this is by design.

they count with a large number of assets that do a variety of jobs for them, from killing irresponsible magic-wielders to stealing objects of great importance from the wrong hands. they’re not a criminal institution, but they don’t care about the criminal affairs of their members.

also, as the name might suggest -- there are other councils for other parts of the world. america’s equivalents would be the CPA or the council for protection of the arts (made up of 12 old magical families), also known simply as the twelve families council, and the mediation group, an interespecies association with representatives from witch, vampire, werewolf, and fae communities as well as other “fringe” species, like werepumas.

the american and european councils are run by different people and only associate themselves for the purposes of sorting out intercontinental affairs.

LE SIX TIREURS.

owned by the kallikantzaroi, it is the place to go to to find people in paris that will do your dirty work for you. it has been around since forever, tucked inconspicuously between other two nameless establishments in the quartier latin. the inside is bigger than the outside could ever hope to denote, and underneath there’s catacombs that are connected to other key spots of paris through tunnels, something useful for safe passage and discreet movilization from one location to another.

marcelo works as a bartender. he got the job as a favor, and everyone that frequents the place knows him very well. he, in turn, knows them as well, and hears each and every one of their conversations -- even if they try to conceal them through magical means. as of late marcelo has gotten into information brokering, and can give you any information you need about paris’ underbelly for a price.

THE COURNEUVE COMPLEX.

a complex of buildings in la courneuve (a commune very close to paris) that houses primarily immigrants and refugees and low class citizens. also renaud’s base of operations and the home of the courneuve group, a gang comprised of renaud’s vessels and people he has visited in dreams. in exchange for their loyalty and labor, renaud keeps them clothed and well-fed and needing for very little. it is a VERY dangerous place, and you’ll never feel safe entering it. they will know you are an outsider as soon as try to walk along the street near the buildings. 

LA CHÂTEAU DE RÊVE

a club in the french riviera that comes to be eventually owned by marcelo reyes and his wife, charmaine theroux. counting with a primary house and two secondary houses, it doubles as both a night club and a strip club, depending on the location, and it caters to clientele of any gender (with employees from any gender as well). it sits in the heart of cannes surrounded by expansive gardens, and much like the name suggests -- it could be considered a small castle all of its own, with every night being its own dream-themed fantasy. it is an expensive establishment, but this is not without reason; there’s an illusory quality to this place and an air of mystery and secretiveness that they actively work to maintain. marcelo cares a lot for it and goes at great lengths to look after his employees -- they are a very close-knit group. 

by the point marcelo becomes a manager of the place he’s 38, so the chateau’s existence comes into place at a different point of the verse’s timeline. though not officially retired, marcelo no longer takes contracts as frequently as he might have in the past. he’s very busy running the castle. 

PLOTTING NOTES.

the verse can simply be a simple aesthetic backdrop for interactions or you can choose to actively have your character involved within the verse. either works just as well. ideally, this verse is perfect for interactions with other supernatural characters that are set in europe, especially those with a criminal edge (but those that are simply civilian or crime-adjacent are welcome too). 

as previously noted, however, it can also be used for strict modern realism -- do not be afraid to approach me for this. everything is quite adaptable. if your character is a human and you’re more comfortable keeping things realistic, simply assume that the magical bits do not apply to our plotting. i’ve made it so it can go either way, easily. 

nothing is set in stone. i’m quite flexible and open minded if you’d like to play around in this verse. for example, with some talking, i can happily accept your characters as powerful enough to be part of the european council as well. and if you choose to work with marcelo’s older counterpart, your character can work as an employee of his in the chateau, or just an associate. basically, what i’m saying is there’s no need to keep your distance from all this worldbuilding -- i want the opposite! if the connection makes sense, i’d be happy to include it.

i’ve actually worked out a john wick variant of this verse in case any john wick canons or ocs want to interact with me, with the marconi family as a member of the high table, and le six tireurs as a group with similar aspects to the continental but smaller in scale and unaffiliated to it. if you’re more comfortable with this particular canon, we can go with it. 

[themoonandotherslikeit]

What the Rain Can’t Wash Away- Chapter 4

*FINAL PIECE IN THE LOOK IN HER EYES TRILOGY*

Sixteen years after Lucifer rose, and Dean lost his wife he finds himself with a teenager, a Nephilim, an angel, and his brother living out a Full House rerun with some seriously dark undertones. How will he be able to raise his daughter, fight monsters, and deal with the loss of the love of his life? Sometimes moving on is the hardest part, but with the Winchester’s there’s always something harder around the corner. Isn’t there?

Chapter Four, Poughkeepsie 

Dean

"A... pearl?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yup," Sam said smoothly. "It grants your deepest desire."

"That means...Micheal gone. That's my deepest desire!"

"Exactly." Sam grinned triumphantly. "So you think you can hold off on the whole deep sea plan for a few days?"

I swallowed. If this was true.. then fuck. That could be the solution. "Seems a little too good to be true, man. Don't you think?"

My little brother shrugged. "Maybe, but we won't know until we try. Ya know?"

"Do you have any leads on it?" I pressed. I would be damned if I got my hopes up just to have something else fall through. Just to have another wild goose chase.

"Actually, we do," Cas said, literally stepping out of the shadows.

I jumped in my seat at the table. "Jesus, man! What're you doin lurking like that?"

"I wasn't lurking, Dean," Cas said with a huff. "I was just waiting for the best moment to bring you the good news."

"Well, it was creepy," I said, taking a swig of my beer. "What's the lead?"

Cas walked to the kitchen table. "A man named Larkin. He is a collector, of sorts. A procurer of rare occult items."

"Like Bela?" Sam asked, making a face.

"Not exactly," Cas said smoothly. "He keeps them for himself. Locked away. Sometimes he will sell, for a price, but something like this won't be for sale. It's too valuable."

"Right," I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "So what do you propose? We ask nicely?"

"I was thinking we should steal it."

"Cas, you naughty girl," I said through clenched teeth.

Sam shrugged again. "Won't be the first time."

"What's with you two?" I asked, standing. "You have a death wish for a half assed lead?"

"It isn't half assed." Sam frowned. "This is a real lead, Dean."

"Well, we don't know if we can get it or if it would even work."

"But we should still try," Cas said gently.

"Respectfully? Fuck no. This guy probably has an arsenal."

"So?" Sam rolled his eyes. "We have an arsenal. We can handle this, Dean."

"Just put me in the box, Sammy. Put me in the box and let me fucking rest."

I turned to leave but Sammy grabbed my arm to stop me. I turned to meet his pained expression. "Just let us try, Dean. Please."

I sighed. How could I say no to those fucking doe eyes? They were the same ones that got me a thousand times over. The same eyes that pulled me out of my head, out of the pocket that Michael had slipped me into. He gave me strength I didn't know I had. "Okay, Sammy. We can give it a shot, but we can't wait around forever. You got a game plan?"

"The start of one."

"How far away is it?"

"Bout seven hours."

"Good. We can finish the plan on the way. I'll let the kids know we are headed out on a case. Wheels up in ten."

  -Three weeks earlier, inside Dean's mind-

 I flipped the Tequila bottle. Once, twice. "Damn I'm getting good at that." I grinned to myself, finishing pouring the shot.

"Shit,” a voice came along with the chime of the front door. "It's really coming down out there."

I turned toward the familiar voice. Ava. "Hey, Sweetheart."

"Got your precious limes. Hope my Afro is worth it," she joked, shaking out her black curls. They were a bit bigger than usual from the humidity.

"Totally worth it," I grinned widely, gesturing for her to come to me. "We can't have the house special without limes. What are we, savages?"

She hopped up on the bar, and slid into my arms. I pressed a gentle kiss on her lips and she smiled against me.

"I missed you," I told her.

"I've been gone half an hour, you're so needy," she teased, kissing me again.

"Yeah, well, it felt like a fucking life time."

Ava grinned back at me. "Should we close up? It's pretty fucking dead in here."

"You're right," I sighed. "And I need to do the books."

"You're really sexy when you talk management to me." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Well, Mrs. Winchester, I could use the help. Step into my office?"

"In a minute." She smiled. "I want a famous house special." She slid off the bar top and rested on a stool.

I sliced a lime effortlessly, like it was second nature.

"Have you heard from Nel?" She asked, leaning in to me, the tops of her breasts poking out from her V-neck.

"At the movies with Claire."

"That's a normal teenage thing to do. I'm so proud." Ava grinned. "Does this mean she's given up on the idea of being a hunter like Mom and Dad?"

"We aren't exactly hunting anymore," I said with a smile. I reached out and ran my thumb over her bottom lip. "We're business owners."

"Yeah, we are."

I sighed. "Yeah, Sam and Cas are still on that ghoul hunt in Wichita. Should be home soon though."

"Maybe we should hire Sam as a bar-back." She grinned. "With you two behind the bar we won't need to do ladies night to make extra money."

"Don't objectify me," I scoffed, even though I couldn't hide my growing smile.

"You love it."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Dean." She leaned forward, touching my cheek with her soft hand and kissed me.

Something inside me ached at the kiss, and I pulled her closer, deepening it. I would take her right there on the bar top if she'd let me. I would run into the rain and scream I love my fucking wife! There was no need, though, I had her, and nothing would rip me away from her.

"Two House Specials." I grinned, sliding her a tequila shot, a lime, and a beer. I opened my own beer.

"Best special around." She smiled, raising her shot glass. "To Rocky's, to our dysfunctional family, and to us. Love can solve anything."

"Fuck yeah it can." We clinked glasses and downed the shots.

Ava wiggled as the alcohol ran through her, and she wrapped her lips around the lime, sucking.

I hopped over the bar and swiftly walked to the front door, flipping the sign to closed.

"What're you doing?" She asked, removing the lime from her lips.

"Gonna do what I've been thinking about since the moment you walked back into this bar."

"And what's that?" She asked coyly.

"'Mere and I'll show you."

I walked to her, meeting her in the middle before pulling her into my arms. She fit there like she was made for me, like I was made for her. I captured her lips in mine and ran my fingers down her back.

"Dean," she whispered.

"Dean."

I turned, with my hand up her fucking shirt, to find Sam and Cas staring at me wide eyed.

Sammy stood there slack jawed like a complete creep.

"No offense, guys, I'm glad you're here, but Christ can you not watch?" I laughed, moving my hand out of Ava's shirt.

She readjusted her top and her hair. "Hey Sam, Cas. How was the case?"

"Ava," Sam muttered.

"What's wrong with you, man? Was it a tough one?"

"I'll get you two a beer," Ava said, going behind the bar. "We have this new one from Austin. It's an IPA, you'll love it."

"Dean," Sam said, grabbing ahold of me. He turned my attention from Ava behind the bar, one of my favorite versions of her, to him.

"What man?"

"What's going on here?" He asked low.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, shrugging him off.

"Glad you two are back safe," Ava said, cracking the caps off the beers. "I think Dean was starting to get worried." She smiled brightly. Damn she lights up a room.

"Was not," I grunted.

I made my way back behind the bar, and snaked an arm around Ava's waist. "What're you two waiting for? Want her to bring the beers to you? Drink up." I slid the beer to the edge of the bar, waiting for Sam and Cas to oblige. They'd never had a problem drinking my free beer before.

The two of them raced toward the bar and Sam placed his palms flat on the bar top. "We don't have time for this. I'm sorry, Dean..."

"Sorry bout what? I'll drink the beer if you don't want it, Sammy."

Ava laughed. "Not if you're wanting to... you know." She eyed me.

Cas raised an eyebrow. "Wanting to what?"

Ava looked to me for approval and I shrugged. "We are trying to get pregnant again. Now that things have slowed down... and beer can lower the sperm count. We already have a lot against us from our age. So no more than one drink a day. He promised."

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. "And I won't break it." I swore to her. I looked to my brother and Cas, who honestly looked like someone ran over their puppy. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? Thought you'd be happy?"

"Dean.. None of this is real. Okay? The bar... Ava.."

"Excuse me?" Ava asked, moving out of my arms. "You've never met anyone more real than me, Sam Winchester."

"You're just a complex manifestation of Dean's memories designed to distract him," Cas said sadly.

"You really know how to talk to a lady, don't you?" She grinned. "Just have the beer, Castiel. You're a little tightly wound."

"Okay, listen to me," Sam said, frustrated. "You have to remember what's going on out in the real world."

"I know its raining." I gestured to the bay windows in the bar. "What else do I need to know?" My whole world is in here. I thought, kissing Ava's hair.

"No! I'm not talking about the rain. I'm talking about Michael."

I blinked a few times. "Michaels in the cage."

"Sam you okay?" Ava asked gently. "Was there something more that happened on the hunt?"

I stroked the length of her back, feeling almost blissful. I barely noticed what Sam and Cas were saying. Being this close to her just felt so fucking good.

"No, damn it. It wasn't a bad case."

"Michael is possessing you," Castiel said carefully. "You have to remember that."

"Come on guys," I groaned. "What? Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, Dean," Cas sighed. "It isn't a joke."

"Okay, okay," Ava said, putting her hands up. "If we are inside Dean's head then he should be able to control things, like a lucid dream?

Sam looked flustered. "I don't know, maybe?"

"Then let's go ahead and skip all the dirty stuff. Where's my baby, Dean? Get me pregnant with your brain," she said before busting into laughter.

"Baby, I don't want to miss the dirty stuff." I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"Dean listen to me. This bar is not real. Ava isn't real. You know what happened to her," Sam said insistently.

I frowned. "Man, that's my wife. Stop talking about her like she isn't here."

"She isn't here, Dean. Ava.. Ava died that night in the church. The night that Lucifer rose. You remember that, right?"

I frowned and closed my eyes. Do I?

"It's going to be okay, Ave. I've got you. I won't let you go," I said into her hair. "You're the one, sweetheart. It's always been you. From the second I walked into that bar. It'll be okay, because everything with us is right. You're the only thing that's right."

I opened them back and she was gone. "Where the... where'd Ava go? Ava?" I ran out from behind the bar. "This isn't funny... this... this is my life." My eyes stung. "This is the dream!"

"No, Dean," Cas said sadly. "This is a dream, Dean. That's all it is. Please you have to try to remember, because the people in your life.. in your real life out there need you to come back. Eleanor needs you to come back."

Eleanor.

"No." I shook my head. "Nel's in a movie with Claire. She's being a normal kid. She's happy. We're happy."

Sams eyes flickered to mine and with a sad expression whispered. "Poughkeepsie."

"What?" My heart sunk.

"Poughkeepsie."

Ella

Two days after the boys went to look for the pearl

 "I haven't heard from them." I crossed my arms, pacing the length of the kitchen. "I'm starting to get worried. They call they always call."

"Maybe their phones are dead?" Claire offered weakly. She knew that this was as bad as I did.

"They always check in Claire. What if something happened? What if Michael escaped and blew them up? What if they're..."

"We will go save them," Jack said, standing suddenly.

"I know where they went," Claire said, meeting my eyes.

"You do? They told you?"

"I sort of... fuck. I didn't want to have to lie to you. They were looking for a solution for Michael. This magical pearl that grants you your hearts desire."

"So they think they can use it to get Michael gone?"

"Yeah. We think at least."

"Claire, why didn't you tell me?" I asked, desperately.

"We didn't want to get your hopes up if it wasn't going to happen," she sighed.

"Do you think it can really work?" Jack asked, hopeful.

"That's the idea."

"If they're still alive," I said, cracking my knuckles. "Jack's right. We have to save them."

"We could call another hunter."

"Claire, why don't you want me on this? I can do it. I know how to shoot, plus, I'll have you both with me." I smiled, taking her hands. "Let's go save our Dad's."

"Fine," she said curtly. "But I don't like it.

"Someone wise once told me that I don't have to like something, but I do have to respect it."

"What dumbass said that?"

"Mmm not sure, but damn I bet she was pretty," I said, placing a kiss on Claire's lips. "Wheels up in ten?"

"Really, Dean Jr?"

I shrugged with a grin. "Always wanted to say that."

"I will pack the snacks," Jack said with a nod.

"Not a lot though, Jack! We are taking the bike," Claire said flippantly.

It had to be a real funny sight seeing Claire and I on a motorcycle, with Jack in the sidecar. Like real fucking funny.

I borrowed one of Claire's leather jackets and my own boots. Jack was wearing one of Sam's jackets, even though it just about swallowed him whole.

"We have a long ride, so get comfy," Claire said, kick starting the bike.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing my face to her back. This is all I need to be comfortable. You're all I need.

Claire turned back to me with a smile, before closing the plastic on her helmet over her face. "You're all I need, too."

—————

Chapter Five, Adventures in Babysitting

Get caught up!

Tag list:

@deans-baby-momma

@xjamiedennettx

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@sonnierae26

[gvaf-radio-blog]

I was laying in bed trying to not think about the rejection when the crying fit started, normally it goes away after a bit but this welled up and I felt an emotion like onto a rage induced tornado surging through me and I pounded the floor screaming like I lost a limb to a bear trap and started to pray to God, keep in mind I am a Satanist, to either help me find a way to get the love of my life back or to give me the means to end my life.  Satan was very understanding but reminded me to call them first next time since Satan never told me I was damned for being born pansexual and they did turn me on to better fashion and literature, sorry Satan.

It had been going on like this for the better part of July and there were several things going on in my life at the time one of those was a firm belief that I had grown too old, too fat, too broken to be any use to anyone other than to make others feel better and be target practice for the Russian Cupidi who seems very intent on making others fall in love with me on the other side of the continent, little fuckers have surprisingly deep laughs I found out . There was a person I was convinced was the love of my life because they seemed to understand me, never made unreasonable demands of me ( I thought)  and to put it simply we could not be in a room alone ever. We worked well together in fact each time we would meet it ended in us kissing and tearfully saying I love you to each other  while holding each other head to head crying. Everytime I heard a slight Russian tinged laugh. We were for a short time had an almost family, an almost family is where things are just off and need adjustments. I wanted tp make us a full family badly I wanted this family to happen because these kids were at one time treated like mine own, I am a  simple and boring man except for the Cupidi and a stalker with cat ears who keeps leaving dead birds on my front stoop.  

So yes I was that fool everyone has laughed at in a heart break fueled misery that pop songs and movies lie to us and say “ AH but tis only the third act! The two distant lovers will be reunited and the love song with start after the credits”. I want to start rounding up the con artist that make a living by filling empty headed children with these notions of true love or that love conquers all and sodomize them with live lobsters.  I don’t want to violate ethically challenged people with shellfish everyday, just on those days when I have to deal with the doll eyed masses, ok so basically every day I was trying to give myself the benefit of the doubt.  The Ex had asked me if the reason I wanted to get back together was because they were a “sure thing” I told her that they were really a long shot but if I didn’t try then I couldn’t live with myself. Fast forward a few weeks and several insulting explanations later and I am now turning over all the reasons I am broken goods and that I should not rise above my station because I deserve to be alone, i’m scum, I’m why baby jesus cries and milk spoils when I walk into the room. I started taking pot shots at the local Cupidi with my compound bow but it was hard to aim with eyes full of tears and the edible kicking in finally. I don’t know how to say fuck you in Russian but I think I know the sound of the word. 

Next we find me red eyed muttering some gibberish that’s been fueled by what I would find out later to be a suspected mental illness that is only half way being treated with medication and therapy. To give you a funny and disturbing visual. After not eating or sleeping for several days  I looked like what could be described as a  cross between a fat Reinfeld and a goth George Costanza , or Meatloaf on a bad day. I give you options for your visuals, am I not merciful?

It’s now sometime between one and five A.M and I am looking up the price of the least expensive .45 handgun because I’m poor and I’ll be getting some extra money soon because I turn thirty nine in a week I do not want to be thirty nine so I start looking for american style solutions, happy fucking birthday. I chose this caliber because having some medical training and studying the wonderful world of trauma  I got to see in full detail what a self inflicted head wound looks like and what a person's life is when the bullet doesn’t take enough grey matter. I didn’t want to be alive then I sure as hell didn’t want to live as a joke character from a Garth Ennis story so I was going to get a bigger bullet .  America, fuck yeah.

so I started to make my final birthday plan and feel at peace with having my last ride of Clove’s, bourbon and a good pub hamburger then, Tchüess. BANG! Obviously I didn’t buy the gun to end my misery and embarrassment as my brain was telling me I needed, because instead my brain going into OH FUCK mode was throwing everything it had at me to save the ship. Then it hit pay dirt. I rediscovered a natural emotional energy that put my mind into a laser focus clearing the fog and lies away  just enough to stop my self destruction and restart the rebuilding I began in the winter. The emotional energy that saved me from turning my head into goo goes by the name of pure fucking spite.

I realized that my idiocy levels had reached a critical mass when the Cupidi in hazmat suits who seem to be , in Russian , bitching about extracting me to go get recharged . They came down to take me back to a containment unit that will refill my cynicism back to optimal and lethal fuck off capacity. After my IV of coffee and Monster™ grape was removed I was set loose again into the wilds of Southeast Portland to reconnect my brain with seething hatred that I somehow misplaced my hatred during the heartache attack between Southeast Division and Southeast Clinton street where I  was bludgeoned with a baseball bat by the woman who was wearing cat ears. I was on a time limit because I had to do this quickly and retract my steps before my appointment with a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner at two P.M later that day. I managed to find my hatred , my senses and a new found desire to attack any human with those fucking anime cat ears on their head and entered the office and was treated like a human being not a Cro Magnon sociopath who might try  to kill people on the train, it was a nice change of pace honestly.

We talked about my past trauma and some of the diagnosis that where off base and some that came close to the mark but the main thing we talked about was the depression, the depression that had me looking for a gun as a treatment plan. This Nurse Practitioner pinpointed everything that I had to hide from others or train myself not to do in less than thirty minutes, Let me give you a bit of perspective. 

Most of the mental health professionals I worked with in the past used a method I call flow chart counseling, example:

Therapist sees me walk into the door, therapist will ask if I drink if yes how many drinks in a week, if no move on to the next question. Therapist: Mister Cromag do you drink?

Me: yeah, I like a good beer, or wine I take a shinning to good bourbons as well.

“Therapist now flows to follow up questions”

Therapist: How many drinks per week?

Me: Well, I like to have a drink that pairs with my dinner and some weekends I’ll have a bit more during games or socialization depending on who’s around.

“Therapist now moves down to alcoholism”

Therapist: how long have you been an alcoholic?

Me: I’m sorry what?

Therapist: You binge drink Mister Cromag, more than four drinks per week means substance abuse.

Me: No it means I like the taste of a stout. “Moves down the chart to denial”

Therapist: We need to find you an addiction specialist.

Me: You think my drinking is bad, wait until I tell you about my porn collection.

After that exchange I was referred to a physical therapist to help with carpal tunnel and after a traumatized therapist had to call security all while frantically  trying to find a flowchart for the psychotically horny they made a suggestion about me having an Oedipus complex.

So you now see what I mean, a lot of professionals never got to the heart of it and there are other stories where I’ve had the professionals all but sneer at me when my symptoms are presented. So this Nurse Practitioner was a nice change of pace and with the discussion about my issues, what I thought I might have been dealing with  (sometimes people see that I do have some form of intelligence and not just hit thing with club real hard unga bunga) we then worked out what medication I needed to treat  the thing I was dreading, being diagnosed with  Bipolar 1.

Bipolar and ADHD share many of the same characteristics and as I’ve learned if you have one the other is more than likely there it just needs to be screened for. Bipolar is also a hereditary form of mental illness which makes it a bit unique where others are mostly trauma induced but Bipolar just kinda waits for something to happen and when nothing does it creates its own fun. To add to this good time Bipolar  is classified as a “mood disorder”  your highs are hyperactive boarderlining and often going into a full true manic state of mind and body, not nearly as fun as it sounds. Then the lows are soul crushing affairs that amplify the depression and then takes the lies you brain tells you and creates a story based on people around you, your fears, past trauma and then makes you this poisoned lullaby cake that tastes like candy feels like medicine until you fall to your knees paralyzed and the fangs sink into your back and you see too late what is having you for dinner tonight.

So that’s a quick and blurry on Bipolar 2, I have Bipolar 1 which means I get all of that plus the added fun of hallucinations, and not the type Terrence Mckenna taught us about. These are things that just manifest as if they are real life like if you were in a  film and it was edited without  warning and in this new situation  you now have to improvise a reality, any  reality, this is why I take *drugs prescribed and other. The other issue is that it feels like my memories get remixed and things that happened now have a new twist, a paranoid hurtful twist.  Good example of this is when I was making a terminal wishlist and believed that there were people who truly wanted me to die because I interpreted their actions as malicious. Another example is I was walking home to the apartments  around ten or twelve years ago, I was walking home at the time with groceries and when I got through the front door there was construction going on at the apartment above me. I sleep days and at best i’ll get four hours due to shit employer, new born child, a girlfriend that was Sybil the next generation who completely refused to get treatment because she was a psych major and thought she was the heroin to overcome all odds  in a lifetime movie.  So on top of this my mental illness is not in check, no insurance and if I mention medication at work I could get fired. 

 I wish this was a part I made up  but I mentioned I was on antidepressants at one time and they removed me from two positions back to entry level until I got clean off celexa, Not allowed to do the fun drugs and then punished for using the boring ones no idea why I stayed there for eight and a half years. 

Back to the construction, I get home try to put my groceries away and one of the workers says he needs to do something in the bedroom I tell him to get bent , he calls me a fat fuck and I proceed to beat him bloody! Except it never happened, I woke up beating my fist bloody onto the tiled floor of the kitchen where I had started to put away my groceries until I jumped into this other reality, I’m just happy the kid wasn’t home because it might have scared her and made her cry and knowing I made her cry hurts the worst, I would have attempted that second suicide earlier. This freaked me out I’ve never had an hallucination like this I was scared, when I told then girlfriend hoping to get support or at least pointed in the direction on where to look she labeled me a schitzophrentic started talking to me as if I was going to flip out  and that I was even more dangerous.  I let that turn around in my head for years thinking that this was the linchpin to me being broken and with the way she talked to me I believed I didn’t deserve help. This was one of the main reasons I had to kill myself after she took my daughter away.

Like a few million other miserable , confused people out there I didn’t know a blessed thing about what was happening, I remembered the mental abuse and emotional abuse from the church, and some had argued physical and neglectful abuse I recieved at the hands of my family or my mother’s husbands who told my mother to no provide for me but instead buy him a new toy car. My step sister who somehow hates the knot headed reprobate more than I do stole his precious camaro and rear ended a Semi. After learning she was ok I fell on the floor laughing because all I could think about was this NASCAR addicted stunted man child calling his mommy to whine about a broken toy, to add to this mental image he was wearing a blue jean diaper and clutching a plush Richard Petty teddy bear.

There’s more but I don’t feel the need to talk about school bus drivers and me losing memory of one full  year of my life, bullying at the hands of adults and children alike. I feel like that would be redundant and unfortunately all too common a story I’ve heard from so many people in my life, friends, lovers , coworkers the fucking homeless people who talk with me after I give them beer money. Leaving some of the genetic issues aside you bastards need to understand how wide spread some of these traumas are for fuck sake my motley of misfits are all walking trauma case studies and instead of getting help YOU people ridiculed them, or gave them the greatest useless sentence in the english language which is :

 “Just get over it.”

Do you know what I would like to see? I want to see all of us survivors roaming the streets like that piss poor movie they claimed was a horror movie the Purge and with a list not unlike the list owned by the man that comes around Johnny Cash sang about during his song of the rapture, and I see men, women, and nonbinary people going to the address of those passive aggressive twits and beating them within an inch of their life, then carving into their chest (backwards) “get over it” then we move on to the homes of the rapists and tell them “you asked for this” before destroying their cocks with battery acid. The screams in the night would be glorious with the bats acting like percussion and the screams keyboard swells it would be like Front 242 unplugged. Maybe then the sniveling pretentious nra members out there will learn a bit. At best, it would be fair warning not to be passive aggressive asshole and learn a bit of compassion and mindfulness or to just get their heads out of their ass about battles they know nothing about if they want to avoid severe head trauma that one can not just simply get over. 

Living with mental illness is not easy at any level whether a small bit of depression after a breakup or full blown PTSD after a brutal rape that leaves one unable to leave their house. Whomever has these afflictions are the ones suffering and your feelings of inconvenience or fear  of those sufferers need to be thrown into the Willamette river, I would say you need to follow suit  but there’s enough garbage in this river you can fuck off into a trash compactor.

Living is the hardest thing I do but I keep finding ways to stop the thoughts from taking over and I will and have done whatever it took to not die and sometimes the only way I was able to beat the mental illness was being bat shit insane. Some people think I’m a drug addict, others just think I need to talk to my old invisible friend, a few well meaning souls have suggested psychedelics and these people are pure and I will castrate any who try and stop them from their holy work from the almighty Bob. what I do need is to find that bitch with the **baseball bat and introduce them to a proper bonfire that I’m going to roast one of those little commie Cupidi on, oh yes I want my revenge for St Louis. 

*the drugs in question are cannabis for the most part, when I’m spinning hard it helps tune me down and when the depression hits it shuts up the thoughts that plague me. Not a cure all nor is it a replacement for proper medication and therapy. I like to think of it a supplemental medicine that has the added effect of making Tool sound even more epic and letting me sleep peacefully. 

** all wildy violent, funny and or cartoonish descriptions written about are there to be funny and entertaining no Cupidi do not exist and the Cat ear person does but the assault was less bloody and didn’t involve a bat  but it was far more traumatizing.

[frostythefelix]

You Suck! Vampire!Chan Part 1

Spooktober 3rd

Warning: Violence, murder, and strong language

Summary: in which a frat party sucks way more than you thought it would

Your friends noticed him before you did. His stare was magnetic and you felt yourself being pulled in by his eyes. He smirked, a small dimple denting his porcelain cheek. His costume was simple: a cheap vampire costume that he probably bought at Walmart, but somehow he made it look like Gucci. You weren’t going to talk to him since you made a “no boys” pact with your friends a couple hours before, but the second he approached you all memory of the pact went out the window. He was even more enchanting up close. The smoked out black liner around his eyes accentuated the deep brown irises, and made the look all the more intriguing.

When he spoke chills erupted on your pale skin, your hair sticking up on end. His voice wasn’t deep, but something about the way he spoke had you hanging on every word. He had somehow convinced you to follow him outside, gripping your hand as he pulled you through the crowd of drunk, sweaty bodies. You wanted to know more about him. You’d never seen him before, which wasn’t rare for frat parties, but you were curious. Who was he? There was no way you would have missed a man this good-looking on campus. Your thoughts halted when you met the bite of the October air. Maybe you should’ve worn a coat, you thought. It didn’t matter though, because the strange man had you in his arms in a second, blocking you from the wind. Then his lips were on yours. With the amount of alcohol in your system you didn’t object, letting your fingers lose themselves in his wavy black hair. The feeling was so euphoric that you barely noticed something sharp bump your bottom lip. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips from your cheek, down your jaw, and to your neck. Your mouth was wide open at the intimacy of the moment when suddenly it stopped. Pain wracked through your body from your neck. His hand covered your mouth as he sucked, muffling your scream. You were frozen with fear, unable to move a muscle. And then it was over.

You woke up the next day in the hospital. Your entire body ached worse than it ever had before. You’d never had a hangover that bad in your entire life, and you certainly didn’t drink enough for it to be as painful as it was. A styrofoam cup sat on a tray to your left, and you lifted it to your dry lips. The water that poured down your throat did nothing to quench the insatiable thirst you were feeling. You pressed the button to alert the nurse you were awake. You needed more water.

A woman entered the room in Donald Duck scrubs. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun, a mask covering everything but her almond eyes. They scrunched, almost disappearing and you knew she was smiling at you. You couldn’t smile back. The sound of her blood pumping through her veins was sending you into overdrive. The feeling only intensified the closer she got and you gulped. You had no clue what you were feeling, or why you wanted to rip her throat apart, but it was too strong. Without even thinking, when she bent down to check the bandage on your neck, you attacked. Fangs you never knew you had broke her tanned skin, blood leaking onto your tongue. Feeling the blood coat your throat relieved the uncomfortable thirst. You sucked until there was nothing left and threw her onto the floor.

“What the heck did I just do?” Your voice broke the chilling silence of the empty room. You ripped the needles from your arms, jumping out of bed to make sure the lady was still alive. You shook the woman, panic rising in your chest. No, you thought, she can’t be dead. Frustrated tears raced down your face as you tried with everything in you to revive her. Your hand moved into a patch of sunlight streaming in from the window, immediately jerking back. It hurt. Testing it, you slowly reach for the light. The searing pain returns, and you stare at your hand in terror. What is happening to me, you thought.

Memories from the night before popped into your head and you tugged at the bandages covering your neck. He had bitten you. The bite mark was gone, your neck a blank canvas once again. You couldn’t believe it; you didn’t want to. Vampires were not real. They couldn’t be. A voice from outside of your room shook you from the horrifying thought. You frantically searched for a place to hide, shutting yourself in the bathroom. You watched from a small slit as an older man slid the door open, his eyes focused on the clipboard in his hands. You took that moment to slip out of the room unnoticed, deciding to hide in a closet until you could escape. Everything in you shouted to give every person you passed the same fate as your nurse, but you couldn’t. You were too afraid in that moment, and sunk into a closet before you could cause any more damage. You could hear the doctor’s scream when he discovered his co-worker’s body and the comotion it had caused. You swore you could smell their fear, but really it was blood pumping faster in their veins.

Night came quick, and you were stealthily escaping the hospital in no time. Not a single person stopped you as you walked out and you were glad. There was no telling what you would’ve done to them if they had. You welcomed the cool breeze of the night this time. It seemed to calm your nerves the slightest bit, but not for long. Suddenly you were hyper aware of everything around you as you walked. The cars on the road were much louder than ever before, but there were no cars in sight. You could hear a women talking on the phone about how awful her date had been, but there was no one else on that street except for you. A dog barked in the distance, but you could have sworn it was right next to you. You could hear a man shouting about unfair prices, and the smell of street food invaded your nose. But there were no carts on that block. You felt dizzy, stumbling your way to the bus stop. You weren’t far from home, but you couldn’t walk. The thought that taking the bus would be dangerous hadn’t occurred to you until you stared the passengers in the face.

“You getting on, lady?” The driver asked you. You gulped, shaking your head and forcing yourself off of the bus. “Waste of my time.” He mumbled. You were sure you weren’t meant to hear that, and if you were any other normal human you wouldn’t have, but you were no longer normal and you heard him clear as day.

Chan watched in amusement as you stumbled down the street. You would seem drunk to any passerby, but he knew what was happening. You were being overloaded by your new heightened senses, Chan’s second favorite part to watch. His first would happen soon enough: the first rampage. He usually killed them after the rampage, shoving a wooden stake in their heart, or if he really didn’t like them, he allowed them to suffer a few days longer with starvation. He had a feeling you’d give quite the show. From the time he watched you, he knew you were feisty. He got a kick out of your sass and couldn’t wait to see how you’d be as a vampire. He needed some form of entertainment; after being alive a millennium he had done everything you could think of a hundred times or more. He was getting bored. A chuckle left his lips when you tripped over your own foot. You crumbled to the ground, cursing loudly and lifting your middle finger to the sky. This will be interesting, he laughed.

A knock on your door scared you out of your sleep. You’d made it back to your apartment in one piece and you were hoping to avoid the human population for another day. You could hear your best friend outside the door. She was cold, stomping her heeled booties on the ground in search of warmth. You heard her curse, beckoning you to open the door. You felt guilty leaving her out in the cold and, without a second thought, you let her in. She smiled gratefully at you, removing her scarf and practically shoving her jugular into your mouth as she hugged you.

“When you weren’t at the hospital I thought you were kidnapped!” She sighed, happy that you were okay. You, on the other hand, couldn’t focus on her words. With the scent of her blood pressed against your nose, you were about to lose control. “What’s wrong?” She asked, not knowing how lucky it was that she pulled back in that moment.

“You need to leave.” You were pushing her out of your apartment before she could protest. She wasn’t safe with you, you knew that. You could never see her again. The thought broke your heart, leaving you a sobbing mess on your living room floor. He ruined your life. You knew you had to give up everything. You called your mom to say goodbye, saying that you’d met a man and were moving to a small town in Italy where she couldn’t reach you. She’d asked if she could visit, the sobs wracking through her chest making it hard to understand her. You did what you had to do. The carefree girl you used to be died that night, a monster now lived in her place. Your sadness turned angry, rage coursing through you as you felt that thirst again. You needed to feed, but that was the last thing you wanted to do.You couldn’t kill another innocent person. You cursed the man who made you into this. You shouted as loud as you could, hoping with every fiber within you that he could hear you, that he could feel the pain you were feeling, see the anguish he put you through. He could of course. Chan was watching from the kitchen window, smiling to himself. He found the situation amusing, and he wished you would have killed the girl from before. It would have been a lot more fun than watching you cry yourself to sleep on the floor. But before you closed your eyes for the night they caught sight of him.

“You bastard!” You shouted, jumping up and practically ripping the door off of it’s hinges on your way out. You chased him down the street and with one burst of energy you tackled him to the ground. Chan was surprised with your speed, impressed nonetheless.

“Look what you did to me,” you seethed, “look what you made me into.” Chan didn’t even try to hide his smile, or his laughter. You were confused, the situation wasn’t in the least bit amusing, but he was laughing like you had told the funniest joke of his life.

“Sorry, love. I just can’t find it in myself to care.” Chan pinched your cheeks, pushing you off of him and standing. He brushed the dirt off of his pants, tsking at you for making them dirty. You were stunned, laying on the sidewalk. “Well, this was fun.” It was not. He turned to leave, but you grabbed the cuff of his jacket. He wasn’t going anywhere.

“Help me.” You demanded. A laugh bubbled from his lips for the umpteenth time, your lip curling in disgust. You couldn’t believe you kissed this guy. The enchanting aura he had floating around him at that party was gone, in its place was mockery and arrogance. How had you fallen for his tricks? You crossed your arms over your chest, frowning at the man. “You have to. I’m your responsibility.” His laughter died, seriousness weighing down his expression.

“I don’t have any responsibilities.” He vanished before your eyes, leaving his words hanging in the air.

It wasn’t long before you lost control completely. It started with a cute boy who stopped you on the street outside of a club. He had unknowingly invited you to a five-course meal, him and four of his friends. You didn’t recognize yourself anymore. Your body count was rising significantly, and people were beginning to notice. You were careless, leaving your victims right where you found them. At first the cops waved it off as an animal attack, but it soon turned into the search for a serial killer.

Chan couldn’t sit back and watch you expose the vampire race to the rest of the world. He was going to kill you, calling it “damage control”, but then he watched you cry. He listened to your heartbreaking sobs after every kill, and couldn’t bring himself to do it. It frustrated him to no end. Why was he even hesitating? It was his thing: make new vampires to watch them suffer and kill them when they got out of hand. He’d been doing it for years. So why did he feel like that when you were breaking down on your kitchen floor? Why was it that he had to look away when you killed people? He didn’t know what the emotions he felt were, but he really didn’t like them. He couldn’t handle it much longer, the guilt and remorse beginning to consume him. He had to help you even if it went against everything he stood for, and that is how he found himself in your landlord’s office, his hands on either side of her face. He stared deeply into her eyes, telling her you were moving out that night and that she wouldn’t make you pay this month’s rent. She smiled naively, waving at him from the door as he left. Compulsion was by far his favorite part of vampirism. He was relieved that you lived on the first floor. The risk of anyone seeing him drag you out of your apartment was significantly lower than it would be if he had to use the stairs. You were asleep when he entered, packing up all of your things in minutes with his vampire speed. You woke up, frightened at the sight of him watching you from the end of your bed.

“Ready?” He asked, that annoying smirk on his lips. Confused, you let your gaze drift around your bedroom. It was empty. All of your drawers were open, its contents missing. You snapped back to Chan, noticing your luggage at his feet. Before you could ask, he was standing, nodding his head towards the door.

“I am not going anywhere with you,” you sneered. “I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Chan, now let’s go.” He threw an outfit at you, something he clearly didn’t spend much time picking out. You quirk your eyebrow at the man, your arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently on the carpet. Chan rolled his eyes, almost wanting to leave and let you expose them all. “You are a danger to all vampires if you are left alone. You’re coming with me where you can learn how to control yourself without exposing us all to the humans. Now, let’s go.” You scoffed at him, not believing what he was saying.

“How am I going to expose-” Chan cut you off, an irritated sigh leaving his lips.

“You’re dumb and careless,” he said, wanting nothing more than to just kill you now, but he couldn’t. He already made a promise to himself. He can’t break that. “You leave bodies just laying out on the streets like a dumbass, and the cops are catching on.” It took you a few moments to let that sink in. You hadn’t even thought about the consequences to your actions. Guilt set in quickly, and you agreed to go with Chan only if he promised to actually help you.

The two of you arrived in front of an old two-story house far from the city. The white paint was falling off of the paneling, making the old house look older than it probably was. You had expected him to live in a castle in the woods being an ancient vampire and all, so you were shocked to see the humble farm house in front of your eyes. The landscaping was impeccable and you wondered if it was a hobby of his before laughing quietly to yourself. You were picturing him gardening in the dark, dumping into things and cursing when he did something he was unhappy with. Chan glared at you, silencing your chuckle as he opened the front door.

You were astounded by the interior of the house. You had expected the inside to match the outside, so the modern, white and black color scheme was a surprise. It was sleek; a black L-shaped couch sectioned off the open living room, a glass coffee table in front. A television bigger than necessary was mounted on the stark white wall facing the couch. The kitchen had clearly been redone. There was no way the white marble countertops or the clean black cupboards were part of the original house. Everything looked untouched, so clean you could probably lick the floor, not that you would. Chan stepped out of his shoes, you uncomfortably following suit. He draped his brown bomber jacket on an empty coat rack, leaving you at the door as he made his way to the kitchen. You watched as he opened the stainless steel refrigerator, the potent scent of garlic wafting throughout the house. You gagged, covering your nose.

“How are you okay right now?” You ask, turning towards the door, hoping to breathe better when you weren’t facing it. It didn’t help. You turned to look back at him, a sandwich hung from his mouth.

“I think it smells delicious.” He smiled, garlic poking out of his closed mouth. You heaved, nausea teasing your stomach.

“You’re a freak.” You stated, disgusted. You ignored his chuckle, opting to observe your surroundings instead. You found the stairs that lead to the second floor, and against your better judgement, you slipped away upstairs to escape from the rancid smell. The bathroom was the first door at the top of the stairs. You didn’t pay much attention to it, shrugging at the same boring white and black theme. You didn’t know Chan well, but you never pegged him as a sleek, sophisticated kind of dude. The next door was, you assumed, Chan’s room. It seemed more lived in than the rest of the house. The queen sized bed was unmade with a navy blue bed set. Clothes were thrown carelessly around the room and drawers were left open in the long, dark wood dresser. It was a typical teenage boy’s room. It was then that you realized you had no idea how old Chan was, or how old he was when he was turned. You didn’t want to care, really, but you were so nosy you couldn’t help it.

“Get out.” The sudden harsh voice of your captor frightened you, a small gasp leaving your lips. He repeated himself when you failed to respond. You rolled your eyes, coming face to face with the man of the house. He pointed to the door to the right, and you came to the conclusion that that was your room. You shoved passed him, opening the door. The room was basic. A double bed with the same navy blue covers, a dark wood dresser identical to the one in the previous room, and a black desk shoved in the corner. You almost smiled at the boarded up window by the bed. Smart.

You spent the rest of the night in your room, reading a book you found in your luggage. Daylight was approaching when Chan entered your room without knocking. You eyed the dark bag in his hand, the faint smell of blood lingering in the air. He handed it to you, explaining that it was a blood bag from the hospital, and it is what he lives off of when he can’t get it straight from the source. Reluctantly, you drank from the pouch. Your nerves calmed as you gulped, swallowing all of the contents in less than thirty seconds. He took the empty pouch from your hand, and left silently. You stared at the door, your brows furrowed. Weirdo, you thought, rolling your eyes and going back to your book before sleep finally took over.

You woke up several hours later to the sound of whimpering. You caught the scent of blood, and beyond your better judgment, followed the smell to the backyard. The door to the shed was wide open. A girl around twenty sat in a chair almost exactly in the middle of the room. Blood trickled from a straight cut on her cheek. You were so focused on the blood, you never thought to wonder why she was there, or why the cut was so straight. You launched yourself forward, fangs out and ready. Just before you could reach her, Chan’s body came in between you two. You growled at him, trying your hardest to get passed him.

“Lesson one: Self-control.” His voice dripped mockery, the smile on his face only adding to the humiliation. It was hard at first. He would cut the girl, and no matter how hard you held yourself back, you always ended up right back at the shed. Chan fed you blood bags, but they could never compare to the actual thing. After a couple weeks, though, you felt okay. You were getting more comfortable in the house, but you and Chan still rarely talked and when you did, you argued. You couldn’t stand him, and the thought of being able to leave once you learned how to control yourself was motivation in itself. You were proud of yourself, though. The girl in the shed had barely crossed your mind in days, and you could tell you were improving. Chan could tell as well. Every time you resisted, every time you didn’t come rushing to the shed after he’d hurt the girl he felt his heart swell. He was so proud of you. He wasn’t used to this feeling; it had been over three centuries since he had felt that way, but he missed it. It was like somehow you were cracking the cement mold he had built around his heart. Sometimes, though rarely, he thought you might feel the same. He’d catch your thoughtful glances, hoping you were thinking about him. You were, but never the way he’d hoped for. You had no reason to like him, he never gave you one. He was always curt with you, insulting you, or just being a plain dick. Chan realized this, but he didn’t know how else to be. He couldn’t let you break the mold that quickly. You could leave him, forcing him to be alone for another three centuries before he found anyone else. He wouldn’t act on his feelings, he couldn’t.

Chan left just after sunset a couple of weeks later. He was bored and you refused to entertain him, so he went to do the only thing he could think of: ruin people’s lives. He sucked seven people dry that night a few towns over, and turned a frat guy he recognized from the party he met you at. He wasn’t thinking about how you would feel about his activities; he wasn’t thinking about you at all. It wasn’t until he arrived home just before sunrise drenched in blood that he realized what he had done. The expression on your face told him everything he needed to know. You felt betrayed. He had lied to you, given you hope that you could control yourself just like him. You walked passed him, a plan formulating in your head. He wanted to lose control? Well so could you. You marched down to the shed, leaving Chan feeling more than guilty in the living room. He had no idea what you were about to do, and he only figured it out when the familiar scent of blood filled the air. He rushed to the shed, but the deed was already done. The innocent girl laid haphazardly on the cement, hardly recognizable while you stood over her. Before you could blink, Chan had you pushed up against the wall. He was furious.

“Why did you do that?” He asked, rage fueling his actions.

“You lied to me.” You stated, your voice dangerously calm. He pushed you back again, a nail digging into your back.

“You dumbfuck!” The severity of his tone should have shocked you, but you were too blinded by his betrayal you couldn’t feel anything else. “How are you supposed to learn self control when you get a little angry and destroy all of my attempts at helping you?” You didn’t answer him. Instead, you used every bit of strength you could muster and pushed him to the ground. He got up quick, ducking and ramming his shoulder into your abdomen, pushing you back into the wall with so much force the wall fell to the grass, you going with it. Chan was seething, glaring at you from his standing position, his chest heaving with every heavy breath he took. You weren’t as quick to get up as him, catching your breath before running at him. He caught you, holding you in front of him. He was much stronger than you were, being a thousand years old, and you were no match for him. You realised that as you breathed, staring him in the face. He was staring right back at you, but he didn’t seem angry anymore. His eyes were so focused on your own, but you could only focus on the feeling of his hands holding you. You always thought a vampire would be cold as ice, all of the vampire movies said they were, but you could feel the warmth of his hands through your blood soaked shirt. Your heart did a thing, which then in turn freaked you out. You became hyper aware of where his eyes were looking, and the feelings you were feeling, and you panicked. You mumbled something incoherent and took off into the house, making a point to slam the door behind you. Your heart was racing in your chest as you laid on your bed, looking up at the ceiling.

What the hell was that?

next

masterlist 

[chogiwakeupsheeple]

Image edited by me, please do not use without permission

Chapter: 1 of ?       Words: 2756

AN: This was requested by a kind person, who's blog I shall state if she wants me to! Well, she gave me the request for something and I took it off the rails, haha. I hope you guys enjoy this as it is a little different from what I usually do!

You're a part of a small group of swindlers that rob rich and famous people while they're away from home. Your job is to distract them with what you do best: being drop dead gorgeous. Set in the 1940's (but is nowhere near historically accurate)

The time was eight forty-five. A cold day in Seoul like usual; Its reputation of being a safe and bright city got washed down the drain along with the rain once the dark fell upon the tall buildings. Walking the streets of downtown at night really makes you see the sordid underbelly of the city. A city that shines as bright as a diamond, but is filled with people as fake as cubic zirconium. You can see it in the faces of those that pass by: the differences between those trying to make it to fame and those simply trying to survive. The streets bustle with the atmosphere of hope and desperation at daytime, but at night, these are lonely streets, where only neon signs light up the sad faces of the lost souls, whose dreams now lay in the gutter along with broken bottles. Whoever called this town Seoul clearly never realised how lacking it was of just that. It’s the city where everyone looks like an angel, but where anyone could be a devil; it’s the city you call home.

Trouble was slowly making its way to the well-hidden, sleazy bar ‘Sugchwi’ - trouble with a great pair o’ legs. You were nothing but a sultry, dark eyed stranger that lured men right into your trap. At least at night time you were. As you pushed open the door to your second home you took one last moment to enjoy the fresh air before smoke and the heavy air of alcoholism filled your lungs. He was already seated at the bar; your next victim. Tall. Taller than most men here anyway. Dark, pulled back hair that gave him the appearance of a movie star. He was dressed accordingly with a dark suit and swiveled a glass of what you assumed to be whiskey in his hand. He was handsome in his own way, with large ears demanding attention and a crooked smile. If only he knew he’d return home to a ransacked apartment, maybe he wouldn’t be smiling that widely.

Meeting with you was the worst idea any man could get. You and him were as bad a combination as alcohol and car keys. You were nothing but an entertaining distraction designed to remove him from his home, while your accomplices stripped his place for anything valuable; a clever ruse in a beautiful package. And now there you were, sitting besides him, as gorgeous as ever. It had been a while since you had last done this, but you could never forget. It was a waltz you had danced a thousand times; a habit that had burned itself into your skin. First, you’d comfort them after a day of stressful work. Being an important figure wears you down, and before you entered their life they’d just wash it away with a glass of scotch, but your words, as it turned out, were smoother. Secondly, you’d show them a glimpse of light. Just enough to make them forget about the dark. Lastly, you’d talk about the world. You’d talk about yourself. You’d talk about whatever they wanted to hear, making the mundane interesting and the repetitious exciting. They’d drink up every word but it was all momentary; he, of course, didn’t know that. As you sat there on the bar stool in all your glory, he truly thought he had fallen in love.

It felt like hours had gone by and maybe they had, but all you really needed was two. In and out, get the job done and nothing else. Didn’t take that long but you always dragged out the distraction just to be safe. Their job was the hard one, yours was simply enough: don’t get attached. Easy, right? - or so you thought. ‘’Why here?’’ he asked you at some point between the second and third drink. ‘’It’s the only place someone like you won’t get recognised,’’ you answered, downing the last bit of your vodka and leaving a dark red smudge of lipstick on the edge of the glass. Fame had never impressed you and neither had sweet lies wrapped in honey words. ‘Why is a beautiful girl like yourself without a partner,’ was a question you received every time you set foot in that bar, and oh how you wanted to tell them that no man should have to date a swindler and a fraud, simply because she was alluring.

As the clock struck midnight, you kissed his flushed cheek and hauled for a cab. ‘’Call me,’’ he had said, but his number was already tossed onto the wet pavement along with his chances of ever seeing you again. The rain struck the car window like tiny bullets, aiming at you because of the sins you had committed. Entering the business of fraud and thievery, the first thing you learned was to distance yourself from right and wrong, seeing as those terms meant nothing in the eyes of a sinner. You had desperately tried, but in the end you had to admit you weren’t like them. You knew what you were doing was wrong, yet it was the only life you knew, and they’d kill you, should you ever try to leave the group for a reason as silly as ethics. It had been two years or maybe three. A woman tends to forget about time when her thoughts are so poisoned by this crazy world. How does one simply resist a place where you can belong? How does one say, ‘’no thanks, I don’t want help surviving for the small price of having a drink with a stranger now and then.’’ It was questions like those that kept you up at night.

The driver turned on the radio and the somber tune of jazz filled the vehicle. ‘’This good enough for ya, Miss?’’ he asked, pointing at the source of the music. ‘’Good enough for me,’’ you answered halfheartedly, while lowering your gaze to your hands. A silver ring wrapped itself around your finger like a snake trapping its prey. Medusa, some called you, mostly as a codename; a name fitting for a dangerous woman. The stench of cigarette smoke clung to you, mixing with the scent of your expensive perfume. The smell, the dress, the makeup - it was all a costume. Its purpose, creating a woman perfect for the man she was about to deceive. Your face reflected off the car window and you hadn’t realised how big of a mess you looked until now: the strap of your dress had fallen past your shoulder and your hair was no longer in its perfectly styled position. Mr. Park liked spicy scents, you recalled being told, and indeed he did. He had been way past tipsy when he had leaned in and pushed your hair aside, smelling your neck and subsequently kissing it. The woman you saw in the reflection had eyes filled with dismal; perhaps she didn’t like recalling the memory of venomous lips upon her skin.

‘’We’re here, Miss.’’ The driver stated while stifling a yawn. You merely paid him in response, telling him to keep the change, for what purpose did money have if it couldn’t make you forget. He stopped you when you were halfway out the door. ‘’You’ve got no umbrella,’’ he observed with worry, as if the rain would make you melt onto the pavement. ‘’A little rain doesn’t scare me,’’ you answered while looking over your shoulder, offering him a playful smirk. The cold water felt almost euphoric upon your skin, like a shower that washed away the filthy feeling of a stranger’s touch. The cab drove away into the night, leaving you to decide whether you wanted to step inside the dirty, old warehouse in front of you or if your heels were fit for running. The flickering streetlamp acted as a warning, telling you that no light were to be found inside the deteriorating dump you called home sweet home. The light above you was struggling to survive, but it finally gave up as you breathed out a heavy sigh, and it bursted just as a warm hand placed itself on your shoulder.

‘’Good job today Y/N. I saw Mr. Park leaving the bar and he looked very pleased’’ a deep and familiar voice stated. ‘’Were you spying on me, Sher?’’ you asked with a playful tone as you turned around to get a look at his kind features. A small smile grew on your face once you saw the glimmer in his eyes; he was proud. Proud because another job was well-done thanks to you. ‘’I thought I told you to stop calling me Sherlock,’’ he warned, stepping closer to you and lifting your chin with his finger, ‘’unless you’ll be my Watson.’’ Without hesitation, you grabbed his wrist in a tight grip and threw his arm back at his side, desperate to keep fake-flirt a work only type of thing. ‘’Did you get everything?’’ you asked, your tone back to serious and your expression back to stone. He took a step back and put his hands in the pockets of his long coat, nodding as an answer. That was information enough for you - no details needed. You began walking towards the door where a sign reading ’DO NOT ENTER’ marked the entrance. He was right behind you, already ready with the key in hand and working on the rusty lock. ‘’He had a lot of expensive stuff, but what other could you expect from the owner of the city’s most famous burlesque club’’ he grinned. ‘’Time for a job change perhaps?’’ you smirked in response, finally stepping inside.

You called him Sherlock but he went by ‘M’. Handsome, tall, incredibly smart and in charge of economical affairs is how you knew him. He despised the nickname, but he was too much of a gentleman to make you stop. Why Sherlock? Because despite being intelligent, he had a bad habit of pointing out the obvious as if the rest of the group was kindergarteners. Well, maybe he wasn’t completely without reason. Seated on crates with a celebratory cigar in hand and playing a round of cards was Jack and Monster. Jack was probably the reason for M’s need to take it slow. Not that he was dense, in fact he spoke multiple languages and always knew how to solve difficult puzzles, even under pressure. His problem was that he rarely showed it, and instead ran around like an excited kid, which probably wasn’t wise, seeing as he was the main gunman. Give that man a gun and he could hit anything, at any distance, in no time. Real popular with the ladies too; many women were intrigued by the strong and masculine foreigner. A lot of luck in love but not in games apparently, based on the disappointed expression he got when Monster put down an undoubtedly good card. Monster was the leader, but you’d only know why he had that name if you got on his bad side. A great tip you had gotten on your first day: don’t get on his bad side. A real quiet guy he was, only speaking when he felt the need to, but when he did his words held great power. Everyone knew he was born to lead and refused to follow.

You were just about to ask the whereabouts of your last member when he walked out of the bathroom, wearing only boxers and a towel thrown over his shoulder. His damp hair clung to his forehead and a wide smile grew on his face as soon as he saw you. ‘’Y/N! Welcome back, you’ll be happy to hear we were successful’’ he beamed, offering you the towel to dry your rain drenched hair. How rain could exist in the same world as him was beyond you. June, you called him, because much like the arrival of summer he brought warmth and comfort. Brought to Korea through human trafficking, he was the last member to be added to the group, but he fell into place like he was the missing piece of the puzzle. Despite the language barrier, you two had gotten close like brother and sister, and it was that closeness that was the reason for his newfound eloquence. Every cell of his body was filled with a charm that could sway any woman, and when the group rarely picked a female victim, he was the one sent to do the job.

Having smoked the rest of his cigar and stripping Jack clean of any chance of winning, Monster finally moved his attention to you. No emotion was to be seen on his face, but you had learned not to take it personally right from your first meeting; if only his words were positive you had nothing to worry about. Reading that man was as difficult as teaching someone blind to see colour, and it was a mission you had given up on a long time ago. ‘’Great work today everyone, go get some rest - we’ll be doing the same thing tomorrow’’ he stated as a message for everyone, yet his eyes never left you face. June stretched his arms above his head before stepping besides Jack and putting a hand on his shoulder, shaking it playfully. ‘’Actually, I think I’m going to celebrate this big heist with a drink in town. Jack you in?’’ he laughed, and Jack answered with an equally excited ‘’hell yeah.’’

Sherlock headed straight to bed after writing today’s catch down in his notes for bookkeeping. Jack was seated in the corner, cleaning his guns and waiting patiently for June to get dressed, which was something that could easily take a while. That left just you and Monster in a silence apparently only you found awkward. He was studying you intensely with his arms crossed over his chest, as if he was trying to burn the image of your face into his mind. Still, you couldn’t tell his intentions. He briefly shot a glance at the man in the corner, making sure he wasn’t listening, and then finally spoke. ‘’Tomorrow’s task will be a little different, can I trust you with a delicate matter?’’ he inquired. ‘’Depends, just what will I have to do?’’ you replied, your eyes darting to June who had just reentered the room, wearing a black button down shirt and dark pants. You could definitely tell why so many women longed for his touch, but to you he was nothing but a friend. No. Family.

A piece of paper was slid across the table, dragging you out of your thoughts. Monster sent you a reassuring nod as you took it. Apparently he didn’t need your answer - it wasn’t a question as much as it was an order. You tucked the message in your bra and stood up as the two other boys were ready to leave. For the second time that night you were stopped halfway through the door, this time by a pair of gentle hands grabbing your waist and soft lips grazing your cheek. ‘’Where do you think you’re going, doll?’’ June hummed, ‘’two bars and three different men in one night? What a scandal.’’ He scoffed and held his hand to his mouth in a Shakespearean manner, feigning shock as if he was an on stage. You’d have hit him if you didn’t know he was joking, but you had the sneaking feeling that he really wouldn’t let you come with them. He gave your waist a squeeze before letting go of you and setting one foot outside the door. ‘’You have to get your beauty sleep, can’t be tricking any men with circles under your eyes can you?’’ he joked, and with a teasing wink accompanied by a playful smirk, he and Jack were out into the rain.

You let out a sigh of defeat as you plopped back down onto the crate beside Monster. ‘’Want a glass?’’ he asked, holding up a decanter of whiskey. ‘’Fuck, I’ll be needing the entire bottle’’ you sighed in return. You spotted a small smirk on his face as he began pouring a glass for himself, before setting the decanter along with the rest of its contents in front of you. ‘’As you wish’’ he added. As you took a sip of the strong liquid, you pulled out the piece of paper, now warm from the heat of your chest, and read its contents. ‘’Park Jinyoung eh?’’ you whispered under your breath, ‘’sorry to tell you but you’re about to meet with the most dangerous woman you’ll ever have the honour of laying your eyes on.’’

[mistressofmythsandlegends-blog]

(via https://open.spotify.com/user/22mc3gklpy55wa7rgdwh3oh2q/playlist/3PQKlF0vIWV6OVCJl7QAan)

explanation of songs beneath the cut it’s gonna be lengthy as fuck

1. It’s The Fear - Within Temptation

It’s the fear of the dark that’s growing inside of me, that one day it will come to life

This song is poignantly about her childhood and developing her powers and abilities. This song is more or less self-explanatory.

2. In Our Solemn Hour - Within Temptation

In my darkest hours, I could not foresee, that the tide could turn so fast to this degree

So this song is distinctly when she is being taken to the church, and the actions that happen there. This song is a lot of her pain, a lot of her fear, and the birth of her self-loathing.

3. Monster - Skillet

This secret side of me, I never let you see, I keep it caged but I can’t control it.

So this song actually talks not only about how she sees herself, but is symbolic of the construct she creates to protect herself. Memento Mori, an illusion that grows so powerful in time, she literally cannot control it. And while it can’t do physical damage to a target, it sure as hell will feel like it.

4. Hope of Mourning - Icon For Hire

When the hope of morning makes it worth the fight, I will not be giving in tonight.

This is my anthem for when she gets on that train car and hides. For the journey from Pennsylvania to New Orleans. The pain, the fear, but she fights in that train car.

5. Moon Over Bourbon Street - Sting

I see faces as they pass, beneath the pale lamplight. I’ve no choice but to follow that call, the bright lights, the people, and the moon and all.

Sort of her song (and mine) for the city itself. She spends a year there, healing, and getting her taste for life again, but danger looks behind every corner in the city and one day it catches up to her.

6. Unchained - Blood on the Dance Floor

You try to say you’re sorry for the things you’ve done, tried to play me like a fool but I’m not one.

New Orleans was safety, salvation. Freedom, until she runs into a man claiming to work for her father. Claiming to want to bring her home. So she fights and fights, and realizes what she is. What she’s shown herself to be. So she has to run.

7. Hold Me Down - Halsey

I sold my soul to a three-piece, and he told me I was holy, but now he’s got me on both knees.

Freedom comes at a price. And for Autumn, no price is too great. She gets her first taste of the world’s cruelty.

8. My First Kiss - 3OH3! - Feat Ke$ha

Your kiss is like whiskey, it gets me drunk.

Strangely enough, this song is about when she meets Victor. The intoxicating affair that is their first meeting is her answer to salvation again, safety behind the gunman.

9. & 10. “Fuck Me” Eyes & Boss Bitch by Millionaires

Show me your money and take a shot, shot, shot. & And I’m better than the rest of you.

Both songs symbolize the absolute fall into debauchery and sin that her life becomes. Sex, drugs, alcohol and murder. Life’s a big ass party and she’s going to enjoy it.

11. Pour Me - Hollywood Undead

One more drink then I swear that I’m going home, truth is I have no where to go.

Life may be a party, it may be fun, but damn if it isn’t sad. Lonely. Empty. There’s no love in her life. It’s a life on the run, and without Victor, she wouldn’t know where her next meal came from or where she goes to sleep at night.

12. Everywhere I Go - Hollywood Undead

So just keep buzzed and keep this party rockin’

Bury the pain with a drink and fuck it all away. When they got to Chicago, it was a tribute to Bacchus himself.

13. Mad Hatter - Melanie Martinez

I’m peeling the skin off my face, ‘cause I really hate being safe.

The song for when she met Eric. Her Mad Hatter. If she was Alice, he fell into the role so easily. Her White Rabbit tried so hard to warn her. He’s a dangerous man, look at those eyes. Oh, but she loves the idea of danger.

14. Blow Cirkut Remix - Ke$ha

It’s time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down

Chicago is Life and Death for her, but first and foremost it is life. Heavy and hard, she lives. For the first time since running away, she lives.

15. Crazy Kids - Kesha

Tonight we do it big, and shine like stars. We don’t give a fuck ‘cause that’s just who we are.

For a while, she, Eric and Victor dominate the underground club circuit. Everyone knows Alice, her Rabbit and her Hatter. Like miniature gods; and she revels in the glory.

16. Party At A Rich Dude’s House

If you wanna go let me know, we’re gonna fight till we do it right.

Anthem for a particular job that was a harrowing experience for her. She learned that day to never look behind the curtain.

17. Turn Me On - Nicki Minaj

My body needs a hero, come and save me.

Oh, Eric thought he was the only one. But when she finds herself spending the night at a guy’s house, there’s the risk of a “something more” feeling and he doesn’t stand for that.

18. Call Me Master - Blood on the Dance Floor

You are my slave, my little fucking disaster, I am your god.

Eric changes, almost overnight. He is dominating, controlling. She will do nothing without his permission ever again.

19. La Petite Morte - Blood on the Dance Floor

Every little touch brings me closer to death, open up and suck out my last breath.

Eric’s snap shakes her to her core. It is sudden and he is violent in ways no one has been with her before. He leaves her for dead instead of finishing the job.

20. I Don’t Wanna Die - Hollywood Undead

I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die, so you’re gonna have to.

There’s only one way to survive. Faking her death, again. Twice dead, and close to the edge again, she narrowly escapes death’s cold fingers and her father’s grasp.

21. Blow Deconstructed Mix - Kesha

Backdoor cracked, we don’t need a key

There’s a darkness over her life, robbing her of all the joy she felt alongside Victor. She clings to it because it is all she knows.

22. Warrior - Kesha

We’re the ones who flirt with danger,

Having survived two events now where she should have died, Autumn feels strong. And with her new arm, she is stronger than ever before.

23. Loveotomy - Blood on the Dance Floor

Leaving memories behind, erasing you from my mind.

Autumn would do anything to forget her father and Eric, to wipe them from her mind. Born again in the streets of New York, she calls herself Mistress Myth.

24. & 25. Take it Off -  Kesha &Floor & S.H.A.M.E. - Wizard AyePee

Again, she tries to reclaim the joy she felt with Victor. Parties, alcohol, drugs, but she’s working alone. And the loneliness is more painful than ever.

everything past this is personal canon

[retro-hime]

The Ask Arcana Questionnaire

an awesome ass thank you to @fireflytrio for making this~!!

I have two apprentices so I’m filling this out for both of them. Essa and Valstyne. Essa’s will always be in bold and Valstyne’s will be italicized 

Part 1.) Characterization. Use these questions as a way to flesh out some of your character’s personality, background, likes/dislikes, etc.

Their surname?

Decesare

Castle

Halloween costume?

Devil/Satan but in like that scary attractive way. Could still kill you, but looks hot while doing it

Fairy

Familiar/animal friend?

Owl (or albino miniature dragon if lore allows)

Fruit Bat

Big spoon or little spoon?

Physically little spoon, emotionally big spoon

Both

Religious?

Not really, no

A little bit

Favorite fruit?

Blackberries and raspberries

Pomegranates

Idea of a nice date?

A rooftop picnic watching the sunset

She’s not too picky. Honestly any date is a nice date when you’re with the right person. But if she had to pick, it would be walking the beach barefoot and talking

Favorite season?

Winter

Spring and Winter and Fall and Summer... She can’t choose they’re all really nice

When is their Birthday?

April 12th (Aries)

January 23rd (Aquarius)

Favorite carnival ride?

Rollercoasters and drop towers. Anything that is scary as shit, like the zero gravity spinning thing

The spinning swings and hang gliders

Favorite emoji?

Devil emoji (Im on my laptop so I cant put them)

Any heart emoji and the eggplant and peach emoji 

Like to do in their free time?

Helping around town, eating, herbology/herbs, picking herbs, Underground fighting, sitting on the roof tops and throwing harmless stuff at passerbys

Astronomy/Constellations, astrology, people watching and then coming up with elaborate stories about them, helping the baker, walking/hiking through the forest

What sports would they play?

Kick-boxing or MMA

Track and field

What kind of car would they drive?

A big ass truck, preferrably Ford

SUV, those ones with three rowed seats. Or one of those rv’s or buses that were made into a cool mobile home.. So a mobile tiny home

How do they treat their significant other when they’re feeling unusually affectionate?

Lots of hugging and hand holding. She’ll go out of her way to get the person food (excessive amounts)

She would do a lot of amsall stuff, she’s already insanely affectionate, getting them their favorite flowers and giving them more kisses in random places than usual. Cooking/baking their favorite thing. Elaborate ass compliments

Favorite manga?

One Punch Man and Boku No Hero Academia

Ouran Highschool Host Club, Reimei No Arcana, and Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama... and Say I Love You

Main store to shop for clothes (if they lived in our world)?

Forever 21 or Hot Topic

Earthbound or any hipster thrift store and Platos Closet

What were they like growing up?

Very rough. She got into a lot of fights growing up. She was very protective of her mother and got into a lot of fights when the local kids and their parents would try to talk shit about her mother being a ‘witch’. Kinda like “call her a witch all you want Karn but you were just in the store yesterday getting a salve for that itch where the sun dont shine” 

She was a very sweet and quiet kid growing up and would make money helping everyone out around town. Her father was a surgeon and she would sometimes be required to help him out during his surgeries. So she doesn’t mind gore too much and started to really have a fascination with skulls. She has her mother and her fathers skulls in a glass case on a shelf in the shop.

What kind of drunk are they at a party?

Will kiss the person they secretly have a crush on, get more honest than usual, and will start fights. “i’ll kick your ass! i’ll kick my own ass!”

Dances on tables, becomes less reserved, the wholesome friend drunk where she’ll tell you how much she loves you. (Yuuri from Yuri On Ice when he got drunk. nuff said)

Reaction to someone telling a dirty joke?

"Oh shit that was good! Wanna hear a better one?!”

She would blush and snort/laugh at the same time. 

Reaction to stubbing their toe?

Creative ass curse words and then blaming the thing she stubbed her toe on.

“I curse you and your childrens children!” she screams at the table

Favorite color?

Dark colors, black red, black green, etc. 

Pastels~

Favorite See’s chocolate?

Dark chocolate

Chocolate and peanut butter

Favorite poptart flavor?

Gingerbread

Smores

Favorite hobby?

fighting for money

Singing and baking

How they sing at karaoke parties?

Refuses to sing, is only there for the alcohol

Sings loudly and seriously is drunk. She sings too well when shes not drunk but picks songs that people will hate. (Like Barbie Girl or any song by Aqua)

Preferred social media platform?

Reddit and Twitter

Tumblr

Opinion on puns?

Pun’s are the devils work, but god damn theyre funny. So shitty but so great. 

Has dad jokes/puns of her own

How do they typically deal with their problems?

Ignore that shit as much as possible until it is eminent

Push it down if it’s emotional problems. Other problems she tries to tackle head on because she doesn’t like putting off the inevitable

Spice girl nickname?

Death Spice

Honey Spice

Personal hygiene routine?

She showers every night because she always comes home dirty and her mom was big about being clean at night. She washes her hair every night as well

She showers twice a day and likes to make sure she always smells good. She washes her hair every other day and has a whole routine for it so that is stays moisturized and healthy.

Favorite alcoholic drink?

Fireball Whiskey

Rumchata

Favorite genre of music?

Any form of rock or rap/hip hop/r&b

Jazz or video game type music

Modern AU job/career?

MMA fighter

Vet

Favorite musical?

Hamilton and Sweeney Todd

Les miserables

How would they celebrate their significant other’s birthday?

Would spend a week planning and overthinking it. She would attempt to cook (which she can NOT do) and she would try to be romantic and would clean herself up and look really nice. It would be a personal dinner and a day spent doing whatever their SO wanted to do. 

She would wake them up with breakfast in bed and kisses. Then they would spend the day visiting their favorite places no matter the price and it would end with an elaborate picnic on the beach. 

Would they rather turn into a tiny rhinoceros or a giant hamster?

Giant Hamster

tiny rhinoceros

What would they do for their significant other for Valentine’s Day?

She would go to every a week in advance and would order a dish from each one to be delivered to the shop. She would send her SO out on errands all day so she could prepare it and would reward them with a surprise extravagant dinner.

Would wait until the day after when everything is on sale and shower her SO in the sweets that she binge bought. End the day in some intricate lingerie

Pros and cons to having them as a roommate?

Pros: Brings in money, can kick someones ass for you, knows how to take care of you when you’re sick, is good at cleaning.

Cons: Bullheaded, stubborn, is messy, sometimes won’t come home for days, cant. cook

Pros: Can cook, is homely, nicely decorates the house, house always smells good, makes sure everything is where it should be, likes to help

Cons: Skulls and bones (it usually makes people uncomfortable), superstitious 

On a scale from 1-10 how Extra are they?

8

5

Favorite meme?

Damn daniel and legally blind

Kermit self to self meme

Favorite three pokemon?

Gabite, Misdreavus, Haunter

Milotic, Sylveon, Staraptor

How tall are they?

5′4″

4′11″ and 3/4

Part 2.) Scaling. Using your best judgement, where does your fan apprentice fall on these scales?

[Example: Shortest to tallest?

Portia, Asra, [MC name here], Nadia, Lucio, Julian, Muriel]

Most to least superstitious?

Portia, Julian, Essa, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Valstyne, Muriel

Most to least excited to be at a WWE event?

Essa, Portia, Lucio, Valstyne, Asra, Julian, Nadia, Muriel

Worst to best at handling children?

Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Asra, Essa, Portia, Julian, Valstyne

Worst to best alcohol tolerance?

Muriel, Asra, Lucio, Valstyne, Julian, Portia, Essa, Nadia,

Best to worst at keeping secrets?

Asra, Valstyne, Muriel, Nadia, Lucio, Essa, Portia, Julian

Best to worst dancers?

Valstyne, Asra, Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Essa

Most to least likely to slap you for stealing a mcnugget?

Essa, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Portia, Julian, Muriel, Valstyne

Least to most likely to eat something weird on a dare?

Nadia, Julian, Valstyne, Muriel, Lucio, Portia, Asra, Essa

Least to most old?

Asra, Valstyne, Portia, Muriel, Essa, Julian, Lucio, Nadia

Part 3.) Extra characterization tidbits (whether you want to make a description or insert a photo for these is up to you!)

MC as a:

•MCR song

Mama

Sing

•vine

Kiss my ass (Summerella)

Any of the Thomas Sanders Vines of him narrating peoples lives

•a piece of furniture

Shelf (that way no one can fuck with her)

China Cabinet

•character from the Labyrinth

Hoggle

Jareth

•character in a cliche Noir film

Bad Cop who slaps the suspect around and uses unconventional ways to get answers. Has ties with the underground/black market in the city so they can get reliable information

 Knight in Sour armor, believes the world is good but keeps being let down. And Sympathy for the Devil, realizes the bad guy is no so bad after all 

•Tarot card

The Tower

Wheel of Fortune

•Micheal Jackson song

They Don’t Care About Us

Remember The Time

•character in the play “Cats”

I have no idea honestly

•Panic! at the disco song

Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

House of Memories

•cliche high school student stereotype

The delinquent that is actually really talented/smart

The eccentric weird girl that is friends with everyone of every friend group

•furby

•flight rising dragon breed

Mirror Dragon

Skydancer and Spiral Dragon

•deadly sin

Wrath

Envy

•DnD class

Barbarian

Warlock

•character from Mean Girls

Janis

Ms. Norbury

•hogwarts house

Slytherin

Hufflepuff

•cryptid

Jersey Devil

Shadow People

•monster factory character

Way too complicated for me to get into