#it goes deep folks I'm losing my fucking mind

[yujeong]

Porsche and Pete and choosing to stay KinnPorsche The Series (2022)

[bandofchimeras]

thinking about NPD acceptance/positivity tonight. i still feel uneasy with identifying too hard with personality disorders but here's a thought:

a road block to healing mental & emotional wounding is often inability to accept due to toxic shame, that goes to the core of a person. like a huge part of NPD and other personality disorders is believing "I am X" and "X is evil/wrong/inhuman" and the logical conclusion "I am inherently evil/wrong/inhuman." therefore overinvesting in crafting an image of the self that becomes bloated and obscures actual self awareness. maintaining this image is exhausting and often impossible. especially when it is linked to moral obsessions. nothing is more disconnecting with other human beings than having intense internal pressure to maintain a delusional image of the self as good/perfect.

some folks end up "solving" this issue by inverting it and being fully honest about their shame-based image instead. it's a kind of relief, but it doesn't actually allow you to connect with people. it's Bojack Horseman. he leads with how much of a POS he is, and guess what? self fulfilling prophecy.

he's a bit more tolerable than Mr. Peanutbutter in that show but still - both characters miss out on the full truth of their humanity. Or dog-manity? horsemanity?

The shadow side and the basic fundamentals goodness of being a Being on this Earth, in everyone. In fact life is simply complicated and good/bad a somewhat arbitrary, community defined distinction.

So what does that have to do with NPD?

Well, honesty is a good first policy. But the intense self focus of the disorder, is disabling, and can lead to hurtful actions due to lack of awareness or understanding. I don't see personality disorders as value neutral due to the fact they are disturbances in the balance of human relationship. It's not the pwNPD's fault, but the way they've learned to exist causes issues. It just does. I don't think it's positive although many narcissistic people have positive traits still. They simply tend to be incapable or struggle to do the simple relational repair work of apology, sincerity and investment in others well-being. These are skills that can be learned, as the core wound of toxic shame is also addressed. It is possible to crawl out of the prison of your own mind into the sunlight.

But it is really, really hard work. And that's where personality disorder acceptance or at least just "lots of people are fucked up and it's possible for them to still learn and grow" as a movement is important.

I believe personality disorders need the same destigmatization as, for example, meth and crack. Not because yay they're great! or because everyone will and Should recover or else be deemed Inhuman and Irrdeemable, but because everyone deserves to be seen in their full humanity, and have access to what it takes to recover, even if in the end they can't beat the habit.

Because narcissism is a deep, wormy habit. For most of us, a survival habit gone awry. And for some of us, autistic people especially, we might never be able to survive without focusing a lot on ourselves and getting called narcissistic for it.

A friend talked with me about my inability to show up for them recently. I kept coming back to my intent and they told me this was hurtful too because regardless I still impacted them. And the old habit of anger and denial and splitting came up to the surface. But under it I felt a inkling of empathy, like really being able to sit and imagine what their pain felt like. That inkling gets shoved down because it brings up pain with it - pain of toxic shame and guilt, of frustration that I feel at my absolute limit and can't live up to expectations, anger with myself, fear of those selfish parts of me that don't actually give a fuck.

It challenged me to be honest.

Addicts say you know you're in trouble when you realize you have stopped caring.

So with these personality coping traits, it is similar. I'm losing my battle when I stop caring about others. And I can't care about others without caring for myself enough to at least not be in empathy burnout.

I would really like to be a person who carries extensive knowledge of machinery or plants or languages or myths or even just my friends and community. To give myself over to that and feel how good it is to let go of self image and be in passionate mutual relationship with life. Instead of cramped anxious and stuck within myself like a tangled labyrinth. Or my only area of expertise being psychology I have learned to save myself.

However at this point in life habits are setting in. I know the old cracks and quirks of my traumagenic beliefs like "reaching out to people is a nuisance" or "if I do not pretend to be perfect some terrible thing will happen" or "being liked is more important than anything" they're very well worn. but I am not sure they can be beat until I am secure enough to let go a bit, and get into some deep therapy or creative work.

it's very annoying to be run on old programming and feel unable to do anything concrete about it yet.

So yes, personality disorder neutrality is helpful. Recovery is a life long process. It upset me a lot when I first read that in a forum somewhere. I wanted so badly to be fixed and have this horrible fear and shame in my soul removed. But it's a long dirty process that you have to learn to enjoy or at least feel deeply. just like addiction recovery. Stigma only cements people in their shame and keeps them isolated.

Those are my thoughts for now. And Yes, I've been reading Gabor Mate's In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts .

[catgirledteach]

okay ive reached the point where i need to get my season 2 theories out. i am going full red string cork board please feel free to lobotomize me at any time

i'm breaking these down by the batches of episodes as they will be released, as last season they said episodes were broken up very intentionally to convey certain story beats, and i think that's what they're doing this season as well

First three episodes:

we catch up with what each separate crew has been up to since season one left off i.e. a recap of how stede and the folks abandoned on the island managed to make their way back to society, how the now unhinged crew under ed has been running wild, how i suspect a lot of them are enjoying serving under a successful pirate captain but are confused and unsettled by how and why blackbeard has become so aggressive and unstable

i think the above will be the first episode for the most part. i think this will establish their goals/conflict - i predict some of stede's crew will be supportive of trying to go after ed and some won't. particularly i expect pete will get a storyline of him turning on the blackbeard persona he once idolized now that ed potentially did god-knows-what to lucius, and the only way he'll agree to go after blackbeard is if stede agrees to try and find lucius as his first priority and the rest of the crew backs him up

episode two follows stede's crew as they search for lucius and make new allies (lesbian pirates fuck yeah), meanwhile ed becomes more and more unstable and the crew starts to turn. ESPECIALLY izzy, but we'll come back to that. end of episode two they finally find lucius and they're ready to pursue the revenge

episode three ends with stede's crew finally catching up with the revenge, in no small part helped by frenchie, jim, and maybe even izzy quietly trying to sabotage ed so that stede can catch up and hopefully make things right again. izzy at this point is starting to realize that ed has gone off the deep end and not in a good way. he is seeing that underneath the violence and rage that ed is unhappy and he maybe even feels responsible - things have gone too far for even him and it's not what he wanted either. he maybe even confronts ed in a final attempt to set him right and after being unable to get through to ed, knows that stede is the only one who can fix this, much to his disappointment that he can't be that for ed

the reunion goes BAD, a standoff of sorts happens but ed refuses to forgive or listen to stede despite being heartbroken. however at this point his crew has turned on him so much that there's a blowout that separates them again, and stede maybe manages to take back the revenge or at least they manage to get jim and/or frenchie out of there. and MOST importantly i think this is where izzy defects, approaching stede with the deal that he will help him bring ed back, training him to fight and track down ed together

Episodes 4 and 5:

Episode 4 covers izzy and stede having a tenuous relationship, so starkly at odds yet understanding that they need each other to help ed. stede gets better at fighting/strategy, and despite some initial conflict they come to a place of peace and maybe even friendship?? this is also likely helped by lucius once again being the resident therapist onboard and talking izzy through his shit. izzy begins the tentative journey of realizing he was toxic, wanting to make up for that, and also finally acknowledging that his feelings for ed were more than what he originally thought they were.

also side note i think this may be the episode where one of the B plots are lucius and black pete getting married. sort of a "lucius almost died and there's nothing like being separated and potentially losing the love of your life to make you want to commit to each other for the rest of your life" and so they decide to throw the party we saw in the trailer. and also maybe this starts getting stede's mind going in the direction of marital thoughts

meanwhile the remains of ed's crew have had fucking enough, especially after the blowout that just happened, and throw him overboard. and with ed also being thrown into an emotional spiral after seeing stede again and not knowing how to deal with it, he kind of just lets it happen as he feels like giving up

This brings us to episode 5 which i think will be the "ed stranded on an island and slowly losing his mind" episode, which i think will be the main plot after a stede/izzy-centric episode prior. however, the B plot i do think is izzy and stede getting wind of ed being deposed, and going off just the two of them to find him, and again having some more honest conversations between the two of them about their histories and relationships to ed. (izzy maybe starts developing a crush on stede idk????????)

ed is going THROUGH it on the island, reckoning with his past and his shame, very similar to stede's fever dreams in season one. ed's imagining hornigold and maybe other memories that formed this discomfort with being seen as weak, vulnerable, not masculine enough, etc. and i think after going through some rough fucking soul searching and lowkey starving and dehydrating, he realizes he was just scared of stede bringing out this more vulnerable side of him, and that stede leaving was one of his worst fears coming true and that's why he lashed out. he knows he loves stede and deep down he knows stede loves him too but was just as scared as ed was, and that's why he left. episode ends with ed nearly fucking dying and stede and izzy finding and rescuing him

Episode 6:

An interesting choice to have one week with only one episode and im very intrigued. it's either meant to just be kind of a bridge episode that's a lot calmer after the previous intense episode with ed and a calm before the storm of the last two episodes, or it's maybe the most climactic episode yet.

i lean more the former, potentially a very quiet episode that is focusing less on the action and more on the emotional states of characters as ed is reintegrated into the crew, met with mixed reactions from different people. this could be the time for lucius to have his reckoning with ed about, y'know, lowkey trying to kill him after being nothing but supportive.

izzy is also very uncomfortable with his emerging new identity and having defied blackbeard once again being afraid of what ed might do to him now that they're back on the same ship. stede is likely the only one who has faith that ed will be okay and is the only person really defending him and protecting him. this is maybe the episode where stede and ed actually have a conversation about everything that's happened, how they feel about each other, and what this means going forward. things are still uncertain but they're recovering slowly

i also think a side plot that's been going on throughout the season is something related to jim's revenge quest, them maybe running into another one of the bandits who killed their family or maybe even their sibling we saw in the flashback (dear god i hope it's that one). so maybe that becomes the more action-heavy plot for this episode while every other plot is more subdued and emotional.

i think the end of this episode is a catalyst of conflict that will kick off the action for the last two episodes. this is so far out that i can't even begin to predict what that could be, but maybe something about being pursued by another country's navy again (i don't think so though, it would be a bit repetitive from last season's ending) or more likely being pursued by other pirates as word of blackbeard's wild behaviour and then subsequent disappearance after being mutinied got around. also he has a fucking price on his head

Episodes 7 and 8:

Just as the crew is starting to get on the same page again, they're thrown into a conflict of some kind. feelings have to take a backseat for a while, although they're still very much at the forefront of people's minds. more pirate conflict, more of jim's sidequest maybe, more seeking/returning of allies (returning lesbian pirates fuck yeah), very hero's journey-esque. i think this is where the clips with jackie maybe fit in, as the crew reaches out to other pirates and strike deals to get assistance with the brewing conflict? this is also what makes me think that the conflict is likely with other pirates, enemy of my enemy and all that.

episode 7 ends with the crew having put all their ducks in a row and prepare to enter the fray.

episode 8 is the climactic conflict, both in the battle-sense and also the emotional sense. stede and ed (and also maybe izzy?) can't hold back their feelings anymore, even in the midst of the current insanity, and maybe even BECAUSE of the insanity because they're worried what might happen to them going into danger. some sort of emotional confessions or proposals (?!!?!?!) occurs, everything coming to blows at once very dramatic and all that. this is perhaps the dramatic cliff scene that the vogue article mentioned??

and heartbreakingly, because there's still supposed to be one more season, i think it will end on another cliffhanger. my theory is that the revenge crew wins the day, but either stede or ed are captured in the process. the beaten pirates or officers or whatever know one of them is valuable to the other and takes them in hopes of maybe manipulating the other towards some goal or even just ransoming them off as they are both wanted fugitives. and by now stede and ed have had their emotional confession and know how the other feels, so we know that the final season will kick off with one of them forging an intense rescue mission to take them back and rain hell on whoever took the other.

BONUS PREDICTION: season three ends with ed and stede faking both their deaths in order to 'retire' peacefully, no longer wanting to live a life that puts either of them in danger of losing the other. maybe im reaching across the atlantic for this take, but i think the High on a Rocky Ledge song from episode one foreshadows all of this, implying they fake falling to their death together so that they can live out the rest of their lives in peace.

Full disclosure i wrote this all this morning before i even knew the trailer was releasing tomorrow so all of this will likely be completely irrelevant in like 12 hours. i have also intentionally avoided looking at any of the leaks (i liked some posts though to look at after i see its release) so if any of this is already contradicted ssshhhh you saw nothing

we still have three weeks to go gang and i'm literally on the verge of writing the whole fucking thing myself i am unwell please help me

[kerie-prince]

the intern

Peter Parker x Reader (college au)

requested: (anon) plz plz plz give me some college aged, super powerful ( think stark ceo powerful ) peter parker shit. idc what the rest of the story is about, i just need a brooding, smoldering, suit wearing, extremely expensive, college aged spiderman. plz and thank you!!!!

warnings: language

summary: When you start a new internship at Stark Industries, you're not only surprised to find Peter working as your boss, but that he's not the shy neighborhood boy you grew up with

a/n: this doesn't follow canon so for this imagine, hammer industries is just a rival company and the snap never happened lol also i don't know anything more than operating a phone so don't expect me to write sciencey, techy stuff lmao

(gif source)

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were running across the road to jump into a cab that was available. Your phone hadn't been charging all night as you thought it had which caused you to wake up forty-five minutes before the start of the interview. You need this internship before you graduate from Empire State and get your degree in robotics.

On the way there, you nearly got car sick as the driver took sharp turns and nearly ran past intersections seconds before they became red. Once in front of Hammer Industries, your heels clicked loudly as you ran inside the tall building. You checked in with the front desk and took the elevator up to the 10th floor.

Just as you arrived, Justin Hammer was calling your name. “I'm right here!” you nearly tripped on your heels and your breaths were short.

“I've called your name three times, do you understand what that makes you look like, correct?” Justin stood unphased as you stood up straight and tried to steady your breath. “All these people are on time. Some of these folks have been here for hours, even.”

“Yes, sir. I’m so sorry–”

“Shame, I really liked your resume and your report on the expansion of nano-technology. Try again next year, maybe.” Justin started to call out the next participant and when she got up you stepped in front of her, “Please Mr. Hammer, I need this internship or I can't graduate.”

The people in the waiting room had their eyes on the two of you, tension so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. “Then maybe you should have come on time,” he pushed you aside to let the next person in to interview. You quickly ran back out and spoke to no one all the way home. Your eyes and cheeks were aching as you held in the tears during your Uber ride. The driver wanted to ask if you were okay, but if you were to break down in his car he’d probably be stuck having to listen to what happened and if he was honest with himself, he didn't actually care.

Once you got to your apartment, you made a straight line to the kitchen. “Hey, how’d the interview go?” MJ, your roommate, asked while still looking at her computer. You reached into the freezer for your emergency ice cream pint, snatched a spoon and walked into your room without saying anything. “That bad, I guess,” MJ said to herself.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

You sat with MJ and Ned in the cafeteria, but had not touched any of the food on your plate. Your head was laid on the steel table and you just continuously groaned. “I’m a failure,” you whined.

“No, what you are is fucking dumb,” MJ commented as she ate.

“Thanks, Michelle, that makes me feel so much better,” you looked up to glare at her before laying her head back down. Ned felt bad that his friend was in despair, “How come you didn't ask Peter for help?”

“Huh?” you lifted your head back up some of your hair falling onto your face.

“Yeah, Peter already works at Stark Industries, why didn't you just ask him to get you in? You could even skip the internship altogether and be in full time,” Ned suggested. You gave it some thought, but something about it didn't sound right.

“No, I don't want to bother Peter. I don’t want him to think that I’m only calling him for a job,” you sighed. Ned texted Peter anyways. Unexpectedly, Peter texted him back immediately.

“He says it’s fine,” Ned showed you his phone to read the text. ‘Yeah man, tell her to come in tomorrow and Ms. Potts will interview her’

You let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding and pulled out your phone.

‘Thank you so much for helping me out’

(…)

‘No problem, anything for a friend’

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The Stark Industries building was huge. It almost looked taller than the Empire State Building, and maybe it actually was. Your legs were shaking as you stared up at it. “Here goes nothing,” you assured yourself.

The lobby was bustling with people; workers walking around, a group of kids that seemed to be here on a field trip, and some teens taking pictures in front of one of Mr. Stark's Iron Man suits.

The trip up to the 17th floor was crowded with people as more and more entered in every passing floor. You had to squeeze yourself out and accidentally stepped on someone’s foot in the process.

Looking around, your jaw dropped. It was an open laboratory with groups of people putting together small robots, flying drones, and people laughing and talking. It was such a fun and cool looking environment, you wondered why you didn't just apply here in the first place.

Pepper Potts spotted you walking around and approached you with a tap on your shoulder. “Hi, I’m Pepper. You must be Y/N,” she reached her hand out to shake yours which you accepted. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Peter’s told me a lot about you. Come, follow me,” Pepper’s office had glass walls and a view of New York from behind her desk. You weren't particularly fond of heights, but even you would love to have an office view like that. Pepper gestured to the chair in front of her as she smoothed her dress to sit in hers. “So, I see here that you had an interview at Hammer’s. Can I ask why you chose them?” You didn't even know how they got that information. You hadn't seen or spoken to Peter in quite a while, so how Pepper knew that was beyond you. You sat there with your lips moving to say something but nothing was coming out.

Pepper seemed to have caught on what you were thinking and elaborated, “Before I do any interviewing, I do full background checks on everyone.” She had a gentle smile which made you feel better. You thought she would scold you or something considering the question did more than catch you off guard.

“My mother used to work there for a long time and I figured that I would follow,” you explained. Pepper nodded her head and wrote some notes down. She looked onto her computer and looked at everything there was about you. “Well, I see here that you have exceptional grades. 4.7 GPA since you started school and your paper on nano-technology has gotten much praise. I think even Tony read it.” No way. The Tony Stark read my paper? “So tell me, do you see yourself working here at Stark Industries?”

You looked outside and watched everyone in the open lab again. “Yes.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear. We’d love to have you here,” she reached over to shake your hand. You looked at her surprised and hesitantly shook hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

“Thank you so much!” You cupped her hand with both of yours and shook it a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to mind. You were ecstatic to start your path to your career, and at a dream place at that.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

Your alarm rang at the time you set it to, but there was no need for it. You couldn't sleep all night. Today is your first day of your internship and you were feeling so many things at once. Excited, nervous, happy, scared…

You tried to restrain yourself to a light breakfast, but MJ’s pancakes were to die for that you ate two whole stacks. You looked through your closet just about fifteen times; you had already picked an outfit the following night with the help of MJ, but when you put it back on, you hated it. It sucked for your roommate seeing as she had to sit through you changing from eight other outfits.

You tried to picture the lab again to see how other people dressed for a better idea to base it on your outfit choice. From what you remember, it was pretty casual, so that’s what you stuck to.

You were given your pass the day you were hired, so you had no issue walking inside. The elevator was just as packed as it was last time, but you were more composed so there were no toes being stepped on this time. You weren't exactly sure as to where you had to go, so you looked around to see if there were other interns to ask where to start.

“Y/N!” Peter’s voice surprised you from behind. Your shoulders jumped a bit, but relaxed at the view of his face. His face… you actually hadn't seen him for quite a while. Months, maybe. His jawline was more defined, and his once floppy hair was styled neatly. You tried to not look him up and down, but the temptation was definitely there. And the other thing, his voice was deeper than you last remembered. Is this really Peter Parker? “Hey, Peter.”

He gave you a hug that nearly made you lose breath. He was stronger than you remembered. A memory flashed back to when you were in junior high; you, Ned and Peter were hanging around the local park and you beat Peter on rounds on the monkey bars. He gave up after a couple bars, but you went back and forth a couple times. ‘Show off.’ But now, he had muscles that the shirt he was wearing hugged his biceps.

The hug was quick, and you had to pretend that he didn't just squeeze some life out of you. “Do you work on this floor?”

“Yeah, you’re actually assigned to work with my team. Come, I’ll show you around.” He started walking and you noticed how his posture changed. Damn, I know it hasn't been this long since I've seen him. Why does he look so different? He was wearing trousers. Trousers? Peter hates trousers. But his ass is looking great–

“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s going to be working with us as an intern. And I'll say this beforehand, no she's not going to be taking coffee or lunch orders,” Peter introduced you. There were various aged people in this group. Some were your age, and one person looked to have been in his thirties. Peter is in charge of this group? They all said ‘hi’ to you and went around introducing themselves.

Once that was finished, Peter pulled a chair for you on the table. “You’ll take notes for me while I give this presentation,” he whispered to you before walking in front of the table and started writing on the clear glass board.

He was talking quickly and didn't stumble over his words like he used to. Everyone was listening to him attentively and you jotted notes down as quickly as you could. Every now and then, you would steal glimpses of him and feel a sort of… well you felt something. Amazement? Inspiration? Adoration?

No doubt was Peter one of the smartest people you've ever met and here he was leading his own team and making potential products for Stark Industries at such a young age. Seeing him at work was so… it was indescribable to you but all you could think of was how different he is now. In a good way, of course.

Peter Parker has been your friend for years and to see him change from a bumbling, shy, adorable nerd into a confident, intelligent working man attracted you.

When you got home, you thought a lot about your first day. Being an intern at Stark Industries was really fun, so far. You weren't expected to do silly things like get coffee or lunch for everyone or pick up someone’s dry cleaning. You actually learned something and even had your opinions heard on some of the things that Peter suggested for his team’s upcoming product presentation.

If this is what it's like to be an intern, you couldn't imagine what it would be like working full time.

“How'd it go?” MJ stuck her head in your room. “It was fun. I'm working with Peter,” you explained your day to her.

“Cool,” was the last thing she said before she went to her own room for the night.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

In the past few months, your internship at Stark’s has been going swimmingly. Everyone's been so nice, and the work is so fascinating. You've gotten closer with Peter and along the way, he felt like he was more than a friend and boss to you.

Currently, everyone was getting ready for their final presentations for the upcoming annual Stark Industries Convention. It was going to be Peter’s first year presenting his own project with his team and you were so excited to be a part of it.

The time you’ve spent with Peter was really fun. He was a good mentor and a great friend. The only thing was that you couldn't help but look at him a little too long, and you’ve found yourself thinking about him during your classes or doing your homework. The shy boy from Midtown High was no more, replaced– no, grown into the Peter you know now. But you pushed all feelings aside to focus on your next thesis paper and mock-up of the handout brochures of Peter’s project.

Sometimes, you didn't even feel like an intern as Peter would ask for any ideas you had to make the project better and even let you help with assembly. He stayed true to his words and you’ve never once had to run for coffee or things like that. There’d be times when you would study some of the little parts under a magnifying glass and he’d come up slightly behind you and explain about some of the bits on the working table.

And every time he did that, your breath would be stuck in your throat and you’d have to remind yourself that this was just Peter helping you out and you’re just learning. But it was normal to want more every now and then… right?

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The convention was just a few days away and you had trouble finding something to wear. These events were usually black tie events, but did that mean the presenting teams as well? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?

One of the guys on your team, Richie, sat with you during lunch and talked about how he was probably going to wear the same suit as always. Not because he couldn't afford a new suit, but he was just a simple person and he only wears it once a year for the conventions and that’s all, so it’s still in mint condition.

The girls on your team and some from others were going dress shopping the day before and invited you to join. You were excited mainly because now you don't have to bother MJ for it.

Speaking of MJ, you were going to ask her to come with you. Pepper sent out the electronic invitations to everyone in the company and authorized plus ones to even interns. She’s never been to one – for reasons you were still confused about – but you wanted your best friend to be there for you. And if not MJ, then you bet Ned would still come with you. Wait, what if he’s going with Peter?

On cue, Peter had sat in the chair next to yours in the small break room, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hey Pete. You excited for Saturday?” Peter quietly stirred his coffee and gave you a small smile, “Uh, yeah. I’m nervous, but I’ve worked really hard on this. And everyone, too. Including you.”

You slightly blushed. I didn't do all that much you thought. You two just sat there taking small sips from the hot, bitter beverage.

“So… I wanted to ask you something,” Peter started.

“Mhm?” The coffee nearly slipped past your lips. You quickly grabbed a napkin to lightly dab some of it off of your lips.

“Well, as you know, we can bring anyone with us to the convention,” he trailed off.

“Yes?” Is he going to…

“And I wanted to know if you were bringing MJ with you.” Oh. You nodded your head and thought you hid your disappointment well but without knowing, Peter actually caught it for a split second. “Good. You can come with me,” he smiled and stood up.

You were in awe; without effort, Peter just asked you to be his date for Saturday.

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“Dude, how are you not ready yet? He’s gonna be here any minute,” MJ sat at her computer per usual working. Your music was too loud for her taste playing from your shared bathroom. Peter said he would pick you up at 7, and it was currently 6:50.

You had put on and removed your make-up at least five times. Something was always wrong; one of the wings would either be thicker than the other, the blush would be the wrong shade, or the lipliner kept going out of place. But, alas, you finally nailed it.

Your hair was styled half up with elegant curls and braids. In between some braids were little bits of baby’s breath flowers. Most likely, you were going to have a hard time taking those out but they looked cute and it was too late to take them out.

Your dress was right above your knee and flowed comfortably so you wouldn't have a hard time walking. It was a neutral taupe color and had a V-line that ended just above cleavage and hugged the curve of your waist. You paired it with simple black heels and a small, white handbag.

“He’s here,” MJ informed you.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, “what do you think?” You spun around and held your arms out. “You look really pretty. Now go get ‘em. I’ll watch it on the live stream.” She gave you a lazy thumbs up and resumed her work.

Outside was Peter in an all-black apparel. His dress shirt had only one button undone, and he had a loose blazer that accentuated the dip of his shoulders. He stood against the limo with his hands at his sides. God, he’s gonna be the death of me.

When he caught sight of you, he had a flirtatious smirk on his lips and held out for your hand. “Peter, where’d this limo come from?”

“Mr. Stark set it up for me,” he stated like it was no big deal. Must be nice being his favorite. He held the door for you to climb in and closed the door behind him. “We’re ready, Happy,” he told the driver. Happy rolled his eyes, closed the window and drove off.

The convention was off to a great start; Tony Stark came in with his suit as he always loved to do and started introductions before everyone else scattered around to look at the projects of the many departments in his company. Some groups of certain departments had large stages, some had small stands, like Peter’s.

There were still large crowds coming to see the smaller presentations, and everyone seemed to be fascinated with Peter's. You stood on the side as his team operated the machine and Peter spoke. He looked confident and it was mesmerizing to watch him.

After the night was over, all employee’s and some guests were brought back to headquarters for the after party. You walked around with Peter and had flutters in your heart every time he held the small of your back. The most exciting part of the night was meeting Tony Stark in person. He greeted Peter warmly, and then his eyes landed on you, “Peter, who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of mine,” he gestured for you. You shook Tony’s hand and stood starstruck. “The one you don’t shut up about?” Pepper hit his shoulder and laughed nervously.

“Wait, I’ve heard about you. Buddy of mine works at Empire State and he showed me your paper, it was really good.” You were still shocked that he had even read it and here he was talking to you about it. You went back and forth talking about nano-technology.

On the way home, you and Peter talked and laughed about things you told him as you caught him up to what was happening on campus when he couldn't be there. It was a really fun night, and Peter was more noticeably relaxed now that the hard part was over. “Alright, home sweet home,” Happy announced through the window.

“Well, that’s me,” you smiled sadly, not wanting the night to end. You reached to open the door but Peter climbed out from his side. He walked around to open your door and just like he did earlier, held his hand out for you to grab and assist you out the limo. What was different this time was that he kept his hand in yours as he walked you to the door of the apartments. “I had a great time with you tonight,” Peter confessed.

“Me too,” your voice was soft and low for only him to hear. Peter’s eyes switched from looking into yours to your lips before he grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you. The kiss was needy, passionate, but had a certain gentleness to it. Once he felt you kiss him back with the same fervor, he deepened the kiss and brought one hand to pull your waist closer to him.

You pulled apart to regain your breath and looked to admire his swollen lips and he copied the same notion. He leaned in to give you a gentle kiss and pulled away, “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Peter.” Your cheeks were flushed and your face was warm. You watched him as he left and ran inside. Upstairs in your apartment, you found MJ and Ned sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in each of their hands.

“Good night?” Ned asked. You just nodded and walked slowly to your room.

“We saw the whole thing, by the way,” MJ said nonchalantly. You looked back to glare at your best friends, Ned smiling innocently at you and MJ keeping her straight face.

You changed into your pajamas and laid on your bed on your back, looking up at the ceiling. You couldn't wait to go back to work on Monday.

—

requests open!

[hiraethhh-h]

marble hornets headcanon #2

this contains spoilers for the MH series!!!

this song describes my iteration of tim during the aftermath of Marble Hornets :)

I could go off the deep end

I could kill all my best friends

I could follow stylish trends

And God knows I could make amends

he could either lose his mind like alex and try to harm others, or he could mourn the loss of brian and jay.

But I've got an angry heart

Filled with cancers and poppy tarts

If this is how you folks make art it's fucking depressing

but tim decides to pursue his own path, using his anger for The Operator to fuel him. the last line refers to when he's re-watching the Marble Hornets entries.

I'm afraid to leave the house

I'm as timid as a mouse

I'm afraid if I go out, I'll outwear my welcome

I am not a courageous man

I don't have any big lasting plans

I'm too cowardly to take a stand

I wanna keep my nose clean

tim is still paranoid. he's afraid. he's lost. tim doesn't believe he has any redeeming qualities, not after he basically got most of his friends killed. he doesn't think highly of himself at all, but he's still moves forward. tim wants to start anew, to "keep [his] nose clean," but The Operator follows him wherever he goes and attaches itself to whoever he so much as breathes at.

And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this

And it's sad to know there's no honest way out In this life we lead

We can conquer everything

If we could just get the braves to get out of bed in the morning

tim knows he isn't the only one in The Operator's grasp. he can't be. he also knows there's no way out. once you're in it's sights, you're dead meat. but tim still tries. he claws at the walls The Operator restricts him in, trying to find some sort of loophole, opening, or anything to give him momentary leverage

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy

Word count: 4.1K

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, explicit sexual content

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I excitedly jump up and down, seeing the mass of hair stepping into the hotel lobby.

Stevie’s the first one in and I’m nearly tackling him, hugging him tightly because of how much I’ve missed him.

He’s tightly hanging on to me, letting out a happy sigh before pulling away to look at me.

“You look good, babe. Tired, but good.” He assures me, pinching at the tip of my nose and I smile, kissing his cheek for a second before I’m hugging at Slash as he smiles and says, “hey, Viv.”

I look at Izzy when I pull away from Slash, and he looks me up and down once.

“Viv.” He says to me in greeting.

“Izzy.” I reply.

I’m even excited to see Axl, and he tenses up a little when I hug him, but relaxes and asks, “are you dying or something?” in reference to me hugging him.

“I love you, and I’ve missed you, and I’m being driven insane and being that you’re already batshit, I know you can sympathize.” I tell him.

“Ha. Ha.” He sarcastically lets out but doesn’t go to pull away until I’m good and ready. “Oh, by the way, I’m telling folks in L.A. we’re siblings.”

“Why?” I raise a brow, pulling away.

“So you can also be known as ‘Axl Rose’s sister’ when I get rich and famous.” He grins. “‘Nikki Sixx’s wife’ is losing it’s oomf, ya know?”

“Especially once the D-I-V-O-R-C-E is filed.” I add.

“Exactly. So, I’m making sure you’ll still have a name to drop to help you get stuff for free.”

“Gee, thanks.” I nod, my eyes shifting to Duff.

He’s got the smallest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Hey.” I say to him.

“Hi.” He replies.

“Alright.” Doc’s starting, stepping from the elevator to greet the guys. “Doc McGhee, pleasure to meet you guys, we have a show tonight so you’ve got,” He looks at his watch. “Two hours to get settled in, rest, bend a chick over, whatever. The bus is leaving here at 7:00pm, and no later than that. Got it?” He asks and they all nod. “Okay, here are the itineraries--the guys usually don’t pay these any mind, they just go when we tell them to, but in case you needed it, there it is.” Pieces of paper with the tour schedule on it is handed to them and Stevie smiles widely, nodding his head, showing his excitement for the next month ahead. “I’m going to get a shower, if you have any questions, either ask Viv or ask Fred Saunders, our head of security--Viv knows his number. Here are your room keys, I’ve already got you guys checked in. See you tonight.” He finishes, not giving them the chance to even reply before he’s gone.

“He seems…” Axl starts and I look at him.

“He is.” I reply. “Alright, let’s get you guys settled in.”

Doc got them joined rooms, so Duff’s room was connected to Axl’s, who was connected to Izzy, who was connected to Slash, who was connected to Stevie. At first I thought it was a good idea...

“Was your flight okay?” I ask Duff when we get to his room after helping the guys with their luggage, his hotel room door shutting before he sits his suitcase down by the door before looking around the room.

“Dude, this is nice.” He mumbles, letting out a small sigh as I step to the bathroom, cracking the door.

“Duff?”

“Yeah?” He asks, probably still in awe of the room.

I pull my shorts off, revealing the red, lacy, fabric, before pulling my shirt over my head and look at myself in the mirror.

“Your flight?” I remind him.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He tells me. “It was okay. Izzy had an anti anxiety pill so that helped.” 

"Oh." I reply, hearing him sit on the bed and I take my cross off my neck, pulling my hair to one shoulder. "The guys are really excited to see you guys.” I try to start a conversation.

“Is that why they met us in the lobby?” He sarcastically says and I raise a brow.

“They’re still passed out from last night.” I inform him. “So is Tansy.”

“Is she healed up pretty good now?”

“Yeah, she hates her scar but she’s alright.” I add, rubbing my lips together. 

"What are you doing?" I mouth to myself, taking a few heavy breaths before closing my eyes to calm down. 

"Well, a scar on her stomach isn't anything to freak out about. Which I know she's a mod…" he trails off when I step out and lean against the bathroom door frame, his eyes scanning up my body, taking their precious time examining the "D" on my hip bone that's visible through the red-tinted see-through panties.

He seems like his mouth is dry and I smirk, my hips slowly swaying with each step before I reach the foot of the bed and crawl on, causing him to pull himself backwards until he's against the headboard, squeezing his eyes closed.

"Viv." He starts, holding down a moan when I throw my long leg over his hip and straddle him.

"Yes?"

"W-We're right next to Axl, and you're not the quietest, and--oh, shit." He groans as my tongue licks up his neck. 

"Mhmm." I egg him on, pressing a kiss under his ear as his hands go to my waist. 

"You're not very quiet and I don't want him to find out about us." He chokes out, my hands sliding under his shirt to feel at his warm skin before my lips press to his for a moment. 

"But I can't be loud with your cock down my throat." I suggest, grinding the junction of my thighs into the bulge in his pants and he lets out a weak noise.

"Vivian, we can't--" he's cut off by my lips meeting his again, our tongues running against each other, causing him to sigh out.

When we pull away he looks like he's about to break his argument. 

"Please, baby?" I beg. "If I'm too loud you can just turn me over and press my mouth to the mattress. Or choke me." I add and he raises his brows. 

"I can--what?" 

"Besides, I only get loud when I take all of it." I softly let out, grinding against him again.

"Y-You take all of it?" He stutters out, eyes wide. 

"Mhmm, don't you remember? When you pulled me on top and got as deep as you could, and I told you to go deeper, and I took every fucking inch that I you thought wouldn't fit?" I remind him sultrily and he looks like he's about to pass out from holding back.

"That didn't hurt?" He asks me, trying to stay strong as I kiss at his jaw. 

"Kind of, but that's what made me come so fucking hard." I inform him and he clenches his jaw. "Remember what that felt like for me to come all over your--"

"--Vivian, I'm about to have a heart attack." He tells me as if begging for mercy but I'm soaked through my panties and just want to be fucked into oblivion at this point. 

"You haven't missed it?" I whisper, my teeth nipping at this neck. "All hot and wet…" I keep going, taking his hand and moving it to cup at my soaked sex through my panties and he curses under his breath. "I know you've missed cumming in it." I bite at my lip. 

"Holy fuckin--oh my god." He nearly groans when I take my bra off, my hands running over my breasts, rolling my nipples.

"I've always thought you'd want to do it again when you got here." I say, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips briefly, not fingers lacing through his hair as I add: "I've been fucking myself every night since it first happened, picturing you inside me while I come over and over again, getting the bedsheets all wet…"

His eyes roll in the back of his head as I reach in his pants and slowly move my hand up and down his long shaft, my mouth watering.

"Vivian, you're gonna make me die." He says, running his hand down his face as I take a swipe of his precum and lick it off my finger, making him look completely entranced. "You didn't tell me you were like this or I would have--fuck…" he can't speak when I pull him out of his zipper and spit down on him, using it as lube to continue jacking him off. 

"You would have what?" I ask him innocently, taking my panties off. 

"You can't be too loud." He tries to tell me. 

"I won't." I assure him. 

"Promise?"

"Promise." 

He holds his pinky out and I pull his shirt over his head, giggling as he gets his long, blonde hair out of his face, and holds his pinky back up. 

"Pinky promise? Because if we get caught, I don't want you getting in trouble." He tells me. 

"Pinky promise." I agree, wrapping my pinky with his. 

He goes to kiss me, but the walkie-talkie I left on the bathroom counter goes off, and sounds like Fred says, "six and a half."

"I gotta get that." I tell Duff. 

"You've been talking mad shit over here and then run when I'm ready?" He aggravates me and I give him a quick kiss before crawling to the foot of the bed. "Okay, you can't do that." He tells me, lunging over me, his chest against my back as I fall to the mattress, laughing, his lips kissing to my shoulder blades. "I know what position we're trying toni--"

Axl's door suddenly swings open--which I could have sworn we had locked--to reveal Axl, Steven, Slash and Izzy.

Their eyes are bugged with shock at the sight of us naked, in a compromising position.

"Welp, you bastards owe me forty-five bucks, each." Izzy states to the guys, seeming to be the only one not surprised, as Fred's still over the walkie-talkie, calling for me. 

It was so fucking weird. Axl had a melt down like Duff suspected, and then everyone had to act like they didn't know a damn thing and me and Duff had to act like there wasn't a damn thing to be known.

I hold tight to my crucifix as Nikki, Tommy, Vince and Mick talk with Axl, Stevie, Slash, Izzy and Duff before they're due to go on stage. 

"Hey, after the show you guys wanna see what we can get in to down here?" Tommy invites them. 

"Hell yeah." Stevie's the first one to say. 

"Sounds fine to me." Slash adds. 

Tommy and Nikki wait for Duff to reply, and he smiles at their offer but shakes his head a little. 

"I got things I gotta do." He tells them. "But thanks, though." 

"Of course you've got things to do." Tommy states. "All the pussy you guys are gonna pull in tonight." He explains with a proud smile and I cringe slightly as Axl looks at me. 

"Yeah. All that pussy." He repeats, smugly. 

"Guys, c'mon." Doc motions to them. "You're up." 

"You guys are gonna kill it." Vince encourages them.

"You got this." Tommy adds.

"Don't puke!" Nikki calls to them and I look at him. 

"That was lovely, Sixx." Mick mumbles. 

"What, it was serious advice." He argues. 

I don't say a word, deciding to keep my mouth shut being this is one of the few times we're not screaming at each other.

Halfway through the set, Axl says something that catches Nikki's attention, in particular. 

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to someone very special in my life, who's like the absolute she-devil in disguise." He says to the crowd. "She's the type to kick you in the fucking balls and then ask why you're on the ground, but she kicks anybody else's ass who kicks you in the balls so that makes her a friend to me." He adds, grinning when the fans laugh a little. "Goes out to the hottest chick to be on the cover of Playboy, Mrs. Sixx, Vivian, it's called 'You're Crazy'." 

I see Nikki's jaw rolling, but I can't tell if it's because Axl brought up Playboy, or called me crazy...he'd probably be even more pissed if I told him Axl actually wrote the song with me in mind. 

As Mötley gets ready to take over, Nikki's tugging at my crucifix, pulling it off. 

"What the hell, Nikki?!" I bark at him viciously, but calm down when I see he's just putting it around his own neck. 

"It's a new leg of the tour, Vivian, it's a fucking good luck charm. Chill your fucking tits." 

I don't argue, finding it kind of nice he still wants to wear it, even after everything that's happened between us. 

I should buy him his own as a divorce present. 

Once Guns is off stage, Tansy’s carrying on about Sparkie--who’s apparently got the “flu”, but I know that excuse all too well.

“Last night he just…” She says defeatedly and the guys chug from their water bottles as she tries to speak carefully, that familiar smack slur in her speech. “...He was like, obsessing over that fucking Playboy issue with you in it.” She informs me. “Then fucked up and said ‘Viv’ while I was giving him a blowjob.”

Axl rolls his eyes at the mention of her giving another man a blowjob and I hold back my smug smile at his expression, but he doesn’t say a word. He just continues to be obsessed with her in private and Izzy mumbles about getting something to eat before leaving.

“I woke up to you screaming, ‘she’s not even doing it right’.” I tell her, being that my room is next door to theirs at the hotel. “Is that because I’m not completely showing everything off, or…?”

“I just don’t like my boyfriend lusting after my best friend..” Tansy calmly explains.

“Well, it’s not my fault your slimy boyfriend can’t control himself.” I state, Stevie stepping out of the room to go with Izzy, I’m assuming.

"I'm not arguing, Viv, alright?" Tansy tries to end it here, but I refuse to let her. 

"No, no, you've had plenty to say to Sparkie about it so go ahead and get it all out of your system, Tans." I insist. 

"We’ve got different opinions on it, Viv, and I don’t--”

“--Because you just think I’m trying to compete against you.” I say sharply to her..

“No, in order for you to ‘compete’, you’d have to do what I do, as good as I do it, and you didn’t.”

“Oh, I think I did or else you wouldn’t be as upset over it as you are." I hiss back. 

"Seriously, can you not get into this right now?" Axl asks us, the guys awkwardly keeping their mouths shut, and me and Tansy ignore him. 

"No, Vivian, you're not competing with me, because there's no competition, because this is what I've been doing for a living the past six years. I'm sorry if you regret starting a life with Nikki because you never got to finish school and have your own identity and your own thing going for you--"

"--You think I regret starting my own life?" I ask her in disbelief.

"I think you regret not going to school and being a dancer like you'd planned, because all of us are living the dream we've had since we were kids, except for you, so you feel left behind." She clarifies. 

"Who the hell said I'm left behind? I'm still with you guys, I'm still here." I argue. 

"Yeah, as 'Nikki Sixx's wife' and 'Tansy Lyn's Friend', and that's why you posed because at least your actual name--you as an individual--would finally be on a fucking magazine, the only problem is you don't think it was worth it, now." 

"Girls--" I put my hand up, causing Slash to stop before he starts, and he shakes his head and lets out a breath. 

"--Are you sure I'm the one that thinks being plastered naked in a magazine isn't worth it? Who's the one so strung out she's completely projecting her bullshit on to her friend and belittling her to make herself feel like she's won?"

"Won what?! What's the fucking prize, Vivian?!"

"I'm outta here." Slash mumbles, not wanting to be around the bullshit drama, as I yell back:

"Attention, Tansy! Everybody knows the thing that drives you is attention and how other people view you! You're so jealous at the fact that, for onc, guys aren't focused on sweet, little, travel-sized-bed-bunny, Tansy, that you don't know how to fucking handle it! And modeling with your pussy and tits out isn't worth it to you anymore because, yes you've got money and fame and attention, but you are still so fucking unhappy! You're angry and envious because I'm content with the fact I'm naked in a magazine, and you're so sick with yourself for doing the same thing!"

"Viv, c'mon, now." Duff says lowly as he nudges me to cut it out, but I can't. I'm too pissed. 

"God, Vivian, you are so fucking privileged!" She starts laughing, tears in her eyes and I raise my brows. "I winded up modeling for these nude magazines because me and mama needed the fucking money! I never got my license because we couldn't afford a car for me so what the hell was the point?! Any 'spending' money was put towards pageants and cheer, and when I got the offer I took it and ran with it because I was tired of being fucking broke!" She yells and I roll my jaw. "You, however, did it just because you wanted to! And I know they gave you a lot of money for it and you're scared of Nikki not leaving you enough money to take care of yourself when you guys divorce--and I'm sorry for you, that sucks--but, Vivian, you didn't sign a prenup so half of his shit is going to you, anyway, and being that he's casually had checks of $600,000 chilling in his mailbox before, you're gonna be pretty fucking set for a while without having the extra $40,000! You are so fucking spoiled and you don't even realiz--"

"--I'm sorry, I'm what?!" I scream, taking a step closer to her, causing Axl to get a little closer as well. 

"Viv, seriously, please just leave it alone." Duff begs me and I disregard it as Tansy goes on. 

"You literally went from your dad buying you everything you fucking wanted, to Nikki buying you everything you fucking wanted, and you've never had to lift a finger to get any of it! All you had to do was ask your dad for whatever, and now all you've gotta do is give Nikki a blowjob and the world is yours!" 

"I don't recall asking my dad or Nikki for a fucking scholarship to Juilliard! I don't recall asking neither of them to fill in for me, dancing for eight fucking hours a day--on my fucking toes--for years, or study for me in all my classes so I could have a high GPA to get into a good school! I might not have a 'thing' right now, but I do know what hard work is and if you want to compare dancing and modeling, we sure as hell can because I assure you, Tansy, you're not where you are because you worked your ass off, you're where you are because you fucked all the right people and got to the top!"

"And so did you!" She exclaims, and Duff and Axl are pulling me off of her a few seconds after my nails are going for her throat.

"Fuck off!" Axl screams at me, getting us separated, standing in front of her to guard her as Duff's got my back against him, his long arms having a steel grip around me in case I try to go again. 

Tansy's only got a small, surface scratch over her neck.

"I might have my issues, Vivian, but anytime any of us act batshit crazy and just attack people it's because we're tripping on something and don't know what we're doing! You're so fucked up all on your own without needing anything to bring it out of you!" She yells. 

"I didn't start losing my temper and being 'crazy' until you and Nikki and Tommy and Vince decided to become raging drug addicts and alcoholics and then act like it's still all fun and games when two of you OD at least twice a fucking year!" I shriek back. "And I don't feel left behind, yet, but I will when you junkies finally shoot your last fucking cc, and I'm left to plan fucking funerals!" 

Her face falls at my words, realizing why I'm such a fucking wreck all the time. 

"I don't look at you and think 'model' and I don't look at the guys and think 'Mötley Crüe' because I just see fucked up morons who need help but refuse to fucking accept it, so congratulations, Tansy, at least you found your 'thing', I mean really, I'm so envious that I'm not a sloppy heroin addict, alcoholic, crackhead. You really do win." I finish, getting out of Duff's grasp, leaving and slamming the door behind me. 

"The fuck is your problem, huh?!" Axl barks, following after me and I ignore him, causing him to grab at my arm roughly, stopping me, and I whip around to face him, seeing Duff coming to us. 

"Leave me the fuck alone, Axl." I warn him. 

"Or what? You gonna hit me? I wish to fuck you would, you crazy bitch, I'll have you laid out right here." He cuts back. 

"Axl, man, leave her alone." Duff tells him, trying to pull him away from me but Axl sharply snatches away from him. 

I see Fred coming towards us from the corner of my eye, Slash and Doc following behind him.

Getting the timing perfect, the palm of my hand is smacking as hard as it can against Axl's cheek, and we're being pulled apart before he can hit me back, which I know he's planning on doing. 

“For the love of God, Vivian, can you fucking stay out of a fucking fight just for one fucking night?!” Fred shouts at me, “Girls, Girls, Girls” beginning to play from the stage.

“No, because she’s a fucking psycho!” Axl barks back.

“Oh, I’m the fucking psycho?!” I blare at him.

“Vivian, please calm down.” Doc pleads, rubbing his forehead.

“Suck my clit!” I sneer at him, trying to kick him.

“I’m so close to have you thrown in a psych ward and evaluated!” He’s suddenly outbursting.

“The fuck did you just say?!” Duff’s getting in on it, now, his nostrils flaring at Doc’s comment. “Maybe she’s this out of order because she’s got so much fucking pressure on her from you selfish motherfuckers!”

“You wanna stay on this tour or not, kid?!” Doc snaps at him.

“I’ll go get Nikki off the fucking stage to come handle this shit--you threatening to throw his fucking wife in a crazy house, the fuck is wrong with you?!” Duff keeps on.

“Alright, everybody just calm down!” Fred yells, making everyone go quiet, the many crew members now stopped and watching everything go down. “Duff, Axl, Slash, find Izzy and Steven and stay in your fucking dressing room and eat.” He orders, pointing at the three of them.

Axl’s let go, and he’s shooting me the nastiest glare in the world as he pushes past us, Duff glancing at me, letting out a heavy breath before following him with Slash.

“Doc, go watch the show.” Fred states next.

Doc looks like he’s about to argue.

“Doc. I’m serious.”

He exhales and steps away, turning the corner, and Fred then stares at everyone staring at us.

“The fuck are you cock-suckers looking at?” He asks them.

They nervously fumble about their business and Fred pulls me to the bathroom.

He stares at me when we get inside and I raise my brows at him, expecting him to immediately start in on me, but he surprises me when he stays silent for a while, looking as if he’s trying to figure how to speak, until he finally does...and causes the breath to leave my body completely.

“How long have you been fucking him?”

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 5

"NEED"

Notes by me

- heard this episode was some good shit with lots of cough whump cough here we goooooo

- the goauld are collecting raw naquada. What do they need it for

- oh I love the pyramid ships their so cool

- *Daniel runs off recklessly*

"Wish he'd stop doing that!"

- its a cloaked lady!

- when she turns around and sees Daniel for the first time. 404 cloaked lady has stopped working

- Jack is so aggravated at Daniel for being too nice

- OKAY what the fuck dude. Get your disgusting hands off my Sam or I'll punch you in the throat

- I dont think theyre gonna listen to reason Daniel

- miners!

- Sam can sense worms??? She got worm radar ????

- "I get a weird feeling when im around tealc"

"hey who doesnt"

- ITS BREAK OUT TIME

- "lets go daniel!!"

"I'm coming!"

So innocent 😭

- shit is he dead again👀

- that must have hurt like a mother fucker yikes. Reminds me of the episode of BBC Merlin when the rockslide came down and separated him and arthur

- gurl not even a minute ago you were gonna commit suicide and now you want to take over after your dad? Make up yo damn mind

- a sarcophagus! Oh its Daniel

- NICE OUTFIT

- no glasses!Daniel

- she says she dressed him in new clothes while looking him up and down like lady what the fuck. You taking peeps at my boy? You wanna fuckin fight?

- "personal responsibility for you" basically shes saying she owns you now buddy you better run

- wait how many times has he used the sarc now? Its about 3 times I think

- "glass circles" lol

- damn theyre cracked. Makes me think how many times daniel has broken or lost his glasses and had to get new ones.

- whys she so goddamn CREEPY

- why is she so fascinated with trees my respect for her goes down with every second

- she wants to hit that and you know what? She's valid

- "youre my destiny"

"BLEHGR ......what???"

On all levels except physical, Daniel is barfing so hard right now

- also ???? Destiny??? Ok george mcfly

- this psycho: anyway so me and my mom....

daniel: can we back track for a sec I have some thoughts

- "surprisingly difficult to kill you isnt it?" You got no idea Jack smh

- "nice dress"

- sg1 as slaves is something tho 👀

- I'm laughing theyre throwing a feast for Daniel while the rest of them mine coal. Tough luck guys

- 700 years old YIKES

- "I dont think you understand what they mean to me" ❤💕❤💕❤💕❤☺❤☺❤❤❤❤☺☺☺💗💗💗

- daniel being treated like the princesses boy toy lol

- honey.......dont sleep in the sarc

- what possessed him to think that this is a good idea

- jack, tealc, and Sam update: still in the mine!

- DANIELS HAIR IS POOF

- hes LOST his marbles

- "and look!!! No glasses!!" Hes so excited

- hes getting obsessed with this thing

- 9 or 10 times in the sarc???

Jack: hes drunk as fuck

- hes definitely considering marrying her. Bro youre already married. Did you forget

- Temper!Daniel

- ok so hes totally brain washed!

- he felt out of place on earth :(. You know what? The Sarc is bringing out his deep down thoughts and feelings. Things he wouldnt ever tell anyone bc when hes in his right mind, his logic counter acts these thoughts. But his logic is gone so hes just voicing everything he normally wouldn't

- sams memories of jolinar telling her whats what with the sarc! 💪

- its taking his SOUL WHAT THE HELL

- lounging!Daniel "HI JACK!!"

- hes LOST IT FOLKS THATS IT. HES AN EMPTY VESSEL NO THOUGHTS

- kicking his little feet

- of course he wants to marry a woman he met 4 days ago

- "he cant live without me anymore" OH THIS GIRLS A BITCH. SHE DID THIS TO HIM ON PURPOSE. ALRIGHT LADY SQUARE UP SOMEONE HOLD MY BEER

- "we offer the friendship of our world"

".......well thanks"

Jack is having NONE of her shit and I wholeheartedly agree

- awkward kissing!!

- jittery!daniel

- sir that is no way to talk about your wife. So what if shes different when u get her back! So are you! People change! God not having a logic filter in your brain must be exhausting

- concerned!Sam

- ALRIGHT when you start knocking shit over on purpose its time to sit in the corner on time out

- hes having withdrawals. Didnt I already say this man has been thru Enough

- Jack literally jumps on him to hold him down. Did he crush daniels pelvis or what

- Sam is right they need to let him go thru it 😩

- how the hell did he pull fraiser all the way over him lmfao hes not that strong

- oh boy! Crazy!Daniel

- 🚨the archeologist is loose🚨

- "I know what its like" oh???? Jack has dealt with addiction????

- caretaker!jack

- this is heart breaking

- when he just hugs him. Just holds him. The acting from both of them is making me sob

- P3H826 is ready to be sg1s next mission!

- daniels okay!!!! He got thru it ✊😌

- P3R636 is the planet with the Sarc and princess dick face.

- "id like Daniel back on the team" 😤😤😤😤😤😤

- I dont care about you! Stupid bitch! Manipulative ass hat

- Daniel step away from the sarc

- clearly you have no idea what love is if you think its just keeping ppl hostage

- he literally tells her to stop using it and she IMMEDIATELY picks up a staff weapon and blows it to hell like it took zero effort to convince her

- welp! Cry all you want! Youre a dumb bitch and I hope i never see you again lol

- Let Daniel Rest 2k20

~

Whump under the cut

Daniel jackson whump: threatened, gunpoint, sore, nervous, crushed by rockslide, healed by sarc, addiction, brain washing, jittery, withdrawal, anger outbursts , passing out, hospital scene, red eyes, sweaty, pleading, restrained, losing his mind, crying, breaking down, caretaker Jack.

Jack Oniell whump: kicked, hit with staff, coughing, fight with daniel

Whole team whump: forced kneeling, dirty, tired, weak, forced to mine

No glasses!Daniel for 90% of episode

🎶listening to Happiness Is A Warm Gun from Across The Universe Soundtrack🎶 for daniels struggle with addiction

🎶listening to Gone by Bazzi🎶 for Daniel being so confident that he was fine