#it gets so much worse from here

[cafeyote]

and we always will be

[oneroomjestershow]

CHICKEN NUGGET!!!!!!!!!!!!

I deep fried him for you

[evercelle]

2024 art summary! it sure has been a year

[tiredandoptimistic]

Radar really is in such an interesting position relative to the 4077. The rest of them are doctors. Hawkeye frequently bemoans his role as "weapons repair" and is clearly uncomfortable with fixing people up so they can go back and get shot, but he's still fundamentally only engaging with the war as a healer. When he's off duty (and even while he's working), Hawkeye is able to focus his energy on "the war against the war" by throwing parties and pulling pranks. He takes every opportunity to show his disrespect for the whole military machine, and only plays by their rules when it goes along with his moral imperative to heal the dying.

Radar, on the other hand, is the motor that keeps MASH running. He helps Hawkeye and the others with their schemes, but he also has to be the one to deal with the fallout. When Hawkeye gets his shift as "Commander Pierce," Radar is the one frantically trying to get him to actually fill out the required paperwork, because Hawkeye's "this is dumb and I won't engage with it" attitude to the army doesn't work for someone in an organizational position. The rest of them turn up their noses at army bureaucracy, but Radar is the one to understand how it all works and get them what they want despite the layers of red tape. He has to be the guy delivering bad news and sneaking around to steal people's stoves, and he isn't choosing to do it but it still has to get done. He's the one who announces incoming choppers, meaning that he basically always has to be the person to spoil everyone else's day. Fun's over, Radar's here. His name is literally a direct symbol of his role as a harbinger. He isn't the one responsible though. If he wasn't there to sound the alarm, there'd be just as many wounded and even less time to prepare.

He's got a bit of separation between himself and the casualties (unlike the doctors who are literally digging around in blood and guts for twelve hours at a time), but his position as company clerk means that he's also unable to truly clock out. Radar literally sleeps in his office, because it's his entire life. He's always going to be the guy with a foot in reality who tempers the officers' wackiness. Even when he got offered a ticket home, his first instinct was to turn it down because he didn't think that the 4077th could function without him.

This is significant to me because of how it reflects on the characters role in the war overall. Hawkeye is able to act like he's separate from the military, but he's sometimes forced to reckon with the fact that he's a cog in the machine like everyone else. Radar is often forced to serve as the hand of the army in the 4077th, but his job of keeping things running smoothly does just as much to save lives as any of the doctors. They're all soldiers who have to play by the army's rules to some extent if they want to keep anybody safe.

[peliginspeaks]

I think having "Nightmares" encompass all psychological troubles is an interesting and honestly pretty fitting decision for the game, given the time period. With Freud being on his peak nonsense at the time, ascribing lots and lots of meaning to dreams was becoming fashionable, and there's a certain elegance to considering yourself to be Plagued By Dread Visions! instead of just...coming apart at the seams from the stress of it all. You're losing sleep because of the nightmares, not because of the things that caused them and their effects on you. You're mumbling to yourself and jumping at shadows because of the lost sleep, not because of that other stuff. Just get somebody or take something to fix the dreams, that's the trick! Nothing you have to acknowledge. Nothing unseemly, and nothing outside of your control. It's so very Victorian. It's sad, in a way, when you see it as an attempt to apply a cultural attitude of denial and carefully constructed (performative) self-mastery - that already didn't work well for the real time period it came from, mind you - to life in a cave that kills and traps you and is filled with horrors both beyond, and unfortunately well within, your comprehension.

[lifemod17]

Postpone that funeral

📸: ruthessimagery | tikok

Salt lake city || 10/20/2023

[sotiredmostnights]

i know everyone likes to put tharja in the "yandere goth girl" category but tbh i feel like pigeonholing her into one specific archetype does a huge disservice to her character. is she obsessed with curses and robin? yes. is she constantly shoved into a fanservice role by intsys? absolutely.

but i think a lot of people forget just how impactful a lot of her supports are...there's something about tharja that makes nearly everyone who interacts with her divulge their deepest secrets and points of anxiety with her. we see this with libra, who tells her of the abandonment he endured at the hands of his parents. we see it with nowi, whose cheerful demeanor slips off as she tells tharja of her missing parents. and although tharja is not the only one lon'qu confides in regarding ke'ri, their support is notably the only one in which lon'qu divulges that there was romantic involvement between he and his childhood friend.

and despite her antisocial exterior, she always listens mindfully and offers to help! she even goes out of her way to discreetly help the shepherds (getting virion to do odd jobs that benefit civilians, interrogating henry to make sure he bears no ill will towards ylisse, etc).

a big thing about tharja is that she IS kind. she IS considerate. she just also has a reputation to uphold as a dark mage and that (paired with her overall awkwardness ofc) makes her true nature hard to see at first glance

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 176 spoilers except its mostly me having a great time bc the panels this week were incredibly fun YAY and thoughts below the cut

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oh my god these motherfuckers are up to their scheme again. LMFAOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT THEM HAHAHAHAHAHA

IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY THAT THEY'VE MASTERED THIS ROUTINE. THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE TIME TO PREP ANYTHING JAVIER JUST KNEW. THAT'S SO GOOFY LMFAOOOO I LOVE THESE TWO SO DAMN MUCH HAHAHAHAA

also obsessed w javier's expression. whenever he has these moments his expressions are always the BEST because theyre SO MINIMAL. the slightest curl of his lip,,, the menace in his eyes,,, compared to lloyd's expressions, javier's are always technically lowkey, but the artist always gives that lowkeyness an extra edge in the art that completes the entire panel. i love javier's expressions so much WAHAHAHA THEY'RE SO GOOD

LOOK AT THEM BEING MENACES ADLFKJSLDJKF absolute thugs. god it's like when they're together they sync a braincell that tells them to go Scheme mode. they're so ridiculous i love them sm,,, alicia ur gonna have to get used to this LMFAO

ALSO I AM SO SO HAPPY LLOYD IMMEDIATELY WENT TO COMPROMISE W THE SPIRIT KING. I KNEW U WOULD THATS MY BOY ILY BUDDY!! i really like how nice his expressions are here,,, i want to think that there's a part of him in there that's actually genuine abt this. esp w the panels that are upcoming,,,

like he looks so soft here! it's sweet,,, i'm really glad he's doing this,,,

AND THEN THIS. THIS PANEL OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. THIS IS GORGEOUS I HAVE TO SHOW IT

REALLY enjoying all these soft lineart from lighting moments that the artist is putting in. god i love this so much,,, there's a metaphor in here somewhere,,, idk,,, i like this a lot!!! alicia seeing pieces of suho's heart poking thru,,, like sunrays,,,, hehehe sweet,,,, so sweet,,,

i love this panel to pieces but i do think its funny af that in this panel lloyd is crouching like that LOL what a creature ily bud

ALSO. ALSOO lets talk about what alicia's thoughts are here as she's looking at him,,, she says smth along the lines of "ur interesting to me bc i cant figure u out,,," and i love that a lot,,, maybe im looking too far into this but i read this as her saying "im seeing pieces of who u really are, i want to figure u out / explore ur true and honest self". she's learning more abt the side of lloyd thats empathetic, thats selfless, that brings out a good outcome for everyone,,,, she wants to see more of that side of him methinks,,,,, regardless of what she actually meant by this, it's a very cute moment and i really like it,,,

it again makes me think that alilloyd as a ship has soooo much potential. it could be so so good,,, this moment especially helps give it a little ground to stand on,,, i just wish there was a stronger foundation,,, it could be even greater,,, ohhh,,,, maybe in future eps who knows? we'll have to wait and see,,,

also hi artanis!! this line from her caught my eye i wanted to bring it up

im willing to bet that this belief is also one that was sourced from credos/jang-cheol, just like the rock paper scissors game and just the farming/pacifism schtick as a whole. it probably played a part in how he had to convince the demons to follow him in the first place,,,

this could also indicate that living honestly and working to earn is a principle that jang-cheol followed in korea, and he decided that he would stick with it when he became credos. alternatively, he had the complete opposite principle (he was a gamer after all, with a max level character,,, could imply that he spent all his time on the game) but when he got transmigrated, he realized that he had another shot at making a living honestly and decided to commit to that. there isn't really enough to make a solid conclusion on how jang-cheol lived, but this is an interesting indicator and i think it's worth a bookmark! i hope the prequel gets a manhwa so i can read it,,, manifesting,,,

oh also the railroad! yay!! y'know idk if this is quite the preservation of nature i had thought they would do LOL this,,, could be considered manipulating the ecosystem too much,,, but also i am not a biologist! so i wouldn't know! it looks nature-preserved so i'll take it!

seems like the demons won't be too far from home too, since they'll probably be the ones employed to run the railroad tracks once it's complete. lloyd essentially gave them jobs! yahoo!

AND THEEEN THE SECOND REALLY NICE PANEL FOR THIS WEEK YAYAYAYY WAAAAHHHH LLOYYYD LLOYD

i will be honest the glare is pretty uh. harsh but i dont mind at all bc YAYYY YAYYY NICE MOMENT WITH LLOYD YAHOO YAHOO. he seems and looks super tired here too,,, one of the panels before this was his heart freezing up again and alicia asked if they should stop bc of his heart, but he refuses,,, ghhh,,, stupid fucking martyr i love you stop doing that though please take a break

this panel is again another alicia pov panel and i really really like it,,, he's so Sun character to me idk how to explain that (javier is Moon to me). maybe ill break that down in a different post another time but yeah,,, yeah,,, sun and moon,,, yeah,,,,,,, also alicia is Comet. one day ill elaborate

and then there it is, goofy lloyd panel HAHA there's the greedy front he always puts on, welcome back! alicia's reaction too LMFAOOO she's sick of his antics /lh

like bud u dont have to say anything else,,, we know u care lloyd u dont have to put up the money part at the end anymore,,,,,,, goofy ass

their lil moment here was also rlly cute,,, alicia laughing at lloyd's antics and just. his big ass smile HAHAHAHAH so so cute i love this a lot,,,

and then the railroad got completed YAYY YAYYYY YAYYY ONE STEP CLOSER TO A HAPPY ENDING!!!

lloyd got like a jump ability and according to my mutuals thats not in the novel? so im curious as to what thats for,,, lloyd says it already but yeah he's a swordmaster now and has tons of other skills and summons too. what would a super jump be useful for,,,? so far, most if not all of his skills have had some use in the story,,, skills that are deliberately brought up like this are always used eventually. what in the world will a jump skill do??? what kind of situation will lloyd find himself in?? is this not almost over??? i'm so curious,,,

also this panel lloyd looks really tired, exhausted even,,, his irises look dulled and theres slight bags,,,, the construction plus the effects on his heart is probably doing him in,,,

and then we see him keel over LAKDFJLSDKJF

I GASPED SO LOUD WHEN I SAW THIS AND IM NOT SURE IF ITS OUT OF WORRY OR IF ITS OUT OF GIDDY. bc listen, on the one hand, oh my god im so worried for lloyd please be okay dont DIE. on the other hand,,, on the other, fic-brained character interaction-pilled hand,,, WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP CHARACTER WHUMP WHUMP MOMENT HURT COMFORT. YAHOO FIREWORKS EVERYONE CHEER!!! WHUMP!!! WHUMP IN MY TGED!!! WAOWIE WAOWIE WAOWIE!!!

sorry. my demons. anyway

alicia catching him is so good,,, sweet,,,, so sweet,,,,, ANOTHER POINT FOR ALILLOYD. again i wish the foundation for alilloyd was stronger, bc if they had established it in a better or more solid/connected way this moment would hit even harder,,, BUT NO,,, its missing impact for me simply bc alicia and lloyd do not talk/share/save each other enough. but it's so cute,,, sweet,,, this moment is nice,,, ghhh,,,, i feel heartbroken over this its bittersweet

and off they go,,, yes,,, a queen, her boyf, and her boyf's boyf. beautiful. alicia is carrying him again hehe,,,

off they go to get the eye of summer!! YAYYY!!! lloyd will stay alive!!! YAHOO!!! we are one step closer to beating fate and getting that happy ending,,, hold on lloyd, hold on everyone,,, it'll be over soon! if they don't get a happy ending i am going to cry and sob for forever and ever!!!! i'm serious!!!!!!!!

i genuinely had a lot of fun reading this ep the moments were all so fun and i'm very glad that things are looking up for them,,,!!! this does also worry me that there's going to be one more final obstacle before we actually get their good ending. bc now that i think abt it, getting the eye of summer does save lloyd but it doesn't stop fate,,, so,,, there might be more trouble ahead. but i'm not gonna worry about that right now!!! i'm coping!!! i'm coping.

that's all from me tho,,, i have to get back to the school grind,,, i'll see y'all next time!!!

[quibbs126]

A random thing I sometimes think about because I can’t stop thinking about Transformers crossovers, but I feel like TFP Optimus would just be having the worst time

Not externally mind you, he’d be happy to be there and meet his other counterparts and probably see people dead in his universe still alive, or the war in better shape for them. I think the struggle would be entirely internal and about his own guilt and worthiness of his role

Because as far as I can tell, excluding the comics because I haven’t read them, I think Transformers Prime has it going the worst for the Autobots. Their Cybertron is completely dead, and with little/no hope of reviving it until the Omega Lock. His team is so small because they’re some of the only Autobots left, and most who are absent are so because they died. And his Megatron is probably one of the worst ones, despite their previous history and the significance he has to this Optimus

Like he’s super serious and stoic, and his team say it’s because he’s a Prime, they’re just like that. But then they all meet the other versions of Optimus, all of which seem to have more life and personality in them, and things are going fine for them. These other versions of him are allowed to be people, which TFP Optimus seemingly denies himself, and it proves that this isn’t a general Optimus thing, this is something particular to their Optimus, they’ve got the depressed one. And Optimus probably wouldn’t have a good time seeing that not only are they able to be more of people than him, but the war seems to be going better for everyone else as well, as if him doing this was for nothing, but it’s not something he can undo now

And then there’s Earthspark Megatron. He’d be happy to see a version of Megatron actually changed his ways, but you know it’d hurt him to see that yes, it actually is possible for Megatron to change, his just won’t. And even if the Earthspark versions assure him that it isn’t his fault, as Megatron’s change of heart was more spurred by Dorothy, though Optimus’ faith in him absolutely helped, there’d still be the fact that his Megatron refuses to change like this one. Not only that, but again, learning that his is probably one of the worst, and probably one of the least likely to change (at least without other factors). Which would be crushing because of his internal hope that maybe Megatron could change, or the significance he couldn’t help but place on him because of their past, basically all being for nothing

Edit: another related thought to the Megatron situation, I imagine it’d be incredibly vindicating for Ratchet hearing that he’s right, their Megatron is horrible and probably one of the least deserving of a second chance. And while I’m sure Optimus has always known deep down that Ratchet’s correct, he’s always held out hope that he was wrong and Megatron could change, only to see that he was the one wrong for thinking it. I mean Ratchet would probably eventually consider Optimus’ feelings on the situation, but at least in the moment he’s just feeling the vindication

And as stated, there’s the fact that seemingly everyone else is doing better than his universe. TF One doesn’t count as much, since the war hasn’t even officially started there, but the others still do. Yes Earthspark and Cyberverse have dying planets, but they’re still alive (presumably in ES’s case) and have clear ways of reviving them by obtaining the AllSpark, which was lost. And it’s probably going to hit everyone that the universe (excluding One) where Cybertron is at its best and still has a pretty functional society is also the one where Optimus isn’t the leader of the Autobots and didn’t fight in the Autobot-Decepticon War. Like things maybe would have gone better for their people if Optimus wasn’t the leader

Now yes, it isn’t his fault he’s in the worst timeline; technically that’s the writers’ fault and in universe that’s probably more on Megatron’s shoulders than Optimus’. But I can definitely see him blaming himself, as he sees that he is not only the worst Optimus in terms of personality (by which this definition is more actually being a person, not so much moral fiber), but in terms of actions as well, and what they’ve led to. Which again, is untrue, but that’s how he sees it

I wouldn’t necessarily say it’d lead to a TFP Optimus crash out, since I don’t think that’s how he’d react to it. It’d be more like an implosion probably. But it still would be interesting to explore I think

[defiledtomb]

WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY!!!!

[nomadic-star]

can we all collectively agree that this video sucks so much ass

[mohntilyet]

Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating

NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around

[crossdressingdeath]

I am once again begging people to realize that Ivenci does not in fact want to "make Antiva better", that's not why they want the Crows gone. This is someone who straight up let Treviso get occupied by the Antaam who fuck up every city they occupy (and tbh it is actually insane to me that a mage let the Antaam occupy their city after the atrocities in Ventus, which must have happened before the Antaam took Treviso because occupied Ventus is referenced in Eight Little Talons which happens before Antiva is invaded; it says a lot that Ivenci thought that was a good idea). They tried to gas the city with qamek (again, insane thing for a mage specifically to be doing after Ventus, these experienced writers did that on purpose) to remove the Crows and their supporters yes but also anyone who spoke out against the occupation too loudly. Guys, please, Ivenci wants power. We are repeatedly told and shown that they want power. They'd rather destroy the minds of half the city and give those remaining to the Antaam than not have power. Their immediate response to being told they'll be put on trial—with the knowledge of the king and merchant princes, so even if we assume the Crows don't have the legal right to do that they fully intend to cover their bases on that front—for all that treason it is at this point well documented they've been committing is "You can't do that to me, I'm the governor of this city". Them saying the Crows are bad does not mean they're right because they could not more clearly think the Crows are bad because they're getting in their way specifically.

They're not even right about why the Crows are bad; first and easiest the stuff about the Crows murdering people in the street is just straight up nonsense, there is literally nothing in any other game or this one suggesting they do that, they kill people they are hired to kill (and because they're so expensive those targets are extremely unlikely to include random people on the street) and claiming they're as bad as the Antaam (who we do see dragging people away during the first visit to Treviso) is ridiculous. And second... I've said this many times, but defending Antiva is literally the Crows' job. If the people of Treviso or Rook (or Ivenci, although they wouldn't for obvious reasons) went to the king and asked for help to free Treviso, the king would send them straight back to the Crows because defending Antiva is their duty and they do it proudly and as well as they can. Keeping Ivenci in the loop is the limit of what they're really required to do, and frankly given Ivenci is a) incredibly rude, b) wildly suspicious and c) entirely useless it's really more than they deserve, someone please replace this person with a competent governor who actually wants to help their people. Also no I won't ever be over them standing around doing nothing except insisting Crows Bad right outside the field hospital the Crows set up and are fighting to defend from the Antaam in blighted Treviso. This is where everyone involved in this situation who claims to care for Treviso should be putting their money where their mouths are and it is telling and pointed that the Crows do at great personal cost—the Crow casualties dying of blight and getting warped into monsters that the other Crows with Rook's aid have to put down so they aren't suffering and can't hurt anyone was deliberate, can people stop acting like the Crows are totally fine and untouched in blighted Treviso—and Ivenci and the Butcher don't, that was a deliberate storytelling choice and I would like people to stop ignoring it.

Ivenci is not insisting the Crows should stay out of it because it's not their job and they're overstepping; they're saying it because it is the Crows' job and they are interfering with Ivenci's plans, which is in fact evidence of the Crows working as intended in their role as Antiva's defenders (which does make the argument that Ivenci's right about the Crows being bad for Antiva somewhat ironic, given they're walking proof of the Crows being pretty good at their role even while being actively sabotaged and before anyone suggests Rook's doing all the work I'm saying right now that that's not the case, the Crows are clearly doing a lot when Rook's not around, and if you claim it is because we don't see them doing it you'd better be claiming that literally every faction is completely worthless because that argument does not apply to just the Crows). I am begging people to use their critical thinking skills, people saying things you agree with in broad terms and people being right are two entirely different things.

[stars-n-spice]

How I'm going to be for the rest of the year.

[leporinelou]

billy’s mom waking him up while it’s still dark, whispering even though neil’s working the night shift. it’s a couple days before his tenth birthday and she’s telling him they’re going to have their very own adventure, just like the ones in billy’s books. she grabs an already packed suitcase from under billy’s bed and kisses him on the nose, tells him to get dressed quick. the two of them leave in an old beat up yellow bug that she managed to get for a third of the asking price and keep parked around the corner until now. they stay with friends and jump from place to place so neil can’t track them down. billy gets used to surfing couches and staying in motels.

he spends his tenth birthday in a diner, his mom gets him a big stack of pancakes and a milkshake with extra cherries. gets a candle out her pocket along with her silver lighter. sings happy birthday and pulls a face when the waitress frowns at them, just to make billy laugh. she sips at her coffee while billy tucks in. smiles when he holds some out with a “c’mon mama, share with me.”

billy thinks it’s neat. thinks it’s the best birthday he’s ever had.

they eventually end up with a place in california, a little bungalow near the coast and billy grows up with his mom. billy gets pretty shirts from the thrift store ‘cause his mama lets him do stuff like that. doesn’t call him a queer, doesn’t force a baseball bat into his hands whilst yelling at him for crying, for being a pussy. his mom lets him read and keep a journal and press flowers between the pages of the neverending story, she plays hendrix and dusty springfield and laughs when billy comes home from his friends’ house with his first piercing at thirteen. she doesn’t tear down his posters or yell when she finds him using her eyeliner.

and everything’s perfect. sort of.

they have bad days- billy’s mom has bad days. billy calls them gray days ‘cause that’s how the world looks when she’s like this. all her color gone. no singing-dancing in the kitchen or baking five different kinds of cake because she couldn’t decide which one was best, no last minute trips to the beach or sitting outside at night and telling billy about the stars. instead she’ll stay in bed, won’t go to work. she’ll stare at the wall blankly and look right through billy when he tries to talk to her. she won’t take the pills the doc gave her and billy doesn’t know what to do. never knows what to do. just chews at his lip until it bleeds, bites at his thumb until it’s red raw. he’ll get in the bed with her. lay beside her and just talk like she used to do with him when he had a nightmare. hum a song to her.

billy’s still pissed at the world just slightly less so. still has that anger and anxiousness simmering just below the surface and shows his teeth when cornered. he’s still hardened in a way that a kid shouldn’t be but. it’s different. there’s no neil. the only bloody noses he gets are at school, when he fights with the kids who call him a fag and a fairy, call his mom a basket case. he uses fists when they laugh and ask if she’s all there with a finger pointing at their heads, ask if billy will “catch the crazy.”

those are billy’s bad days. sitting in the principals office, icing his knuckles.

when he’s fifteen, billy manages to bag a job at the local auto repair by turning up every day and telling howie how good he’d be, that he knows cars and it’s all he wants to do and please please please. eyebrows pulled together, eyes puppy dog wide and hands clasped in front of him until howie grumbles, throws an oily rag at billy. says fine but billy’s gotta pay for anything he damages. someone brings in a chevy camaro and billy asks howie to let him help fix it up. does the begging again until howie laughs. says get a hold of yourself, kid, voice fond as he ruffles billy’s hair.

billy’s four months away from turning seventeen when the doorbell goes. he’s eating a sandwich and watching knight rider. he’s wearing the necklace his mom got him for his last birthday and- he answers the door. doesn’t think twice. freezes when he sees neil standing there. he looks different. hair a little shorter and more wrinkles. where billy’s gained weight, gained muscle, neil’s lost it. his eyes are a little sunken and he’s still got his wedding band on. he reeks of booze. billy has to remind himself to speak, just says “yeah?” his voice comes out small and neil smiles at him. smiles and billy feels this weird twist in his stomach ‘cause .. that’s his dad and he hasn’t seen him in years and it twists and twists and-

turns out. not much has changed. billy realises a little too late that neil will always be neil. they run again. have to leave everything behind. billy doesn’t get to say bye to his friends, to howie, to the car. they leave a lot of stuff behind and head in any direction away from neil. they both try to keep the mood light, take turns driving and play the tapes billy grabbed. they end up in indiana- hawkins. they stay at a motel until billy’s mom finds a place for dirt cheap. it has two bedrooms and a dingy bathroom, a living room slash kitchen and one hell of a damp problem. it’s dirt cheap for a reason.

it’s above a shop in town and- it’s fine. their landlord is an asshole but they’re together and they’ve got a roof over their heads. billy’s enrolled at hawkins high and his mom gets a job at the laundromat. he tells her that he doesn’t need to go to school, that he could just work and help pay the bills but his mom won’t have any of it. says that she wishes she had finished school and that billy’s too clever to waste it. that he has potential.

billy knows the reason she dropped out of school was because she had him. he just nods, rests his head on her shoulder.

it’s billy’s first day at school and his mom drives him to make sure he actually goes. he gets out the car and tries to shake the nerves off. straightens up and puts on his act. plasters a fake smile on his face and it’s working, he’s got most of the girls swooning and the boys at least seem curious. billy looks around and his eyes land on a guy leaning up against a bmw. his hair’s coiffed to high heaven and he’s wearing a polo, preppy as fuck but- pretty. it’s one of the first things billy realises about him, all doe eyes and moles dotted just about everywhere. he’s got a smirk on his face. not aimed at billy but the guy beside him.

pretty-boy walks over to him and billy raises an eyebrow, plays it cool. he introduces himself as steve and billy gets the idea that he’s top dog at hawkins high, is immediately proved right when they step into the building. king steve, freckles calls him. billy laughs- catches steve looking at him when he does and feels his face get hot. steve just smiles wider, calls billy california and tells him to sit with them at lunch. billy tries to ignore the way steve’s smile makes him feel like the rug’s been pulled out from under his feet.

he nods and steve grins. tugs at one of billy’s curls.

says “i think you’re gonna like it here, california.”

[omegabenaeart]

Just exploring his design a bit more

My indecisive ass is probably gonna change it again soon 👉👈

And some story concepts, gonna do some actual writing along with the redesigns

Gonna go on some rambles below the cut, feel free to ignore 😎👍

Alastor's Territory

All Overlords own some kind of territory. Rosie has Cannibal Town, Vox has his TV company, so on and so forth.

Alastor's territory is people. He owns souls, obviously, all Overlords own souls as part of their territory. But then there are the people who owe him favors, or the people he considers useful, or the people he considers friends. All these people he's sort of collected over the years.

But it also means he isn't tied to one particular area of Hell. His people go everywhere, doing his bidding. Other Overlords may be more powerful or more well known, but Alastor has further reach.

Alastor As an Overlord in Hell

Much like in the show, Alastor runs a radio broadcast. Some days, it's a normal radio show, playing music and giving commentary on current events in Hell (Vox hates this for obvious reasons). And on other days, he's playing the screams of his latest victims, reminding sinners why he's not someone to be played with

But it's not enough for him to just have a radio show, his connection to radios goes further than that. It's like how Vox has a connection to all TVs in Hell, able to see through and transport himself through the various screens.

Alastor can hear through all radios in Hell. He eavesdrops on conversations, collecting information and blackmail on various sinners around Hell, in hopes of expanding his territory. Of course, he keeps this ability tightly under wraps; if everyone knew he could be listening, no one would own a radio ever again!

Alastor With Women

Alastor is still some flavor of asexual. For the most part, he doesn't have interest in that sort of stuff. But if he were to ever want sex, it would most likely be with a woman.

Alastor is very friendly with women. This is based on canon, where he has more positive relationships with women than he does with men. Some would interpret this as him just being a ladies man, but it's a bit more complicated than that.

For backstory related reasons, Alastor just has a general distrust of men (which is ironic because he is a man himself). And it certainly isn't helped when you realize he used to hang out at speakeasies when he was alive. He has plenty of experience with violent, drunken men, he knows what those bastards are capable of when they pound back enough liquor.

So with women, it starts off as him just being very protective over them. They are the "fairer sex" after all, how are they to defend themselves when a man is being violent towards them? But as he spends time with more and more women, he comes to respect them more and more for their capabilities.

Some women don't need his protection, as they are fully capable of protecting themselves. If something goes down, Alastor will hang back for a moment, assessing the situation as it unfolds, and then step in if it's getting out of hand. Less White Knight-ing basically. Oftentimes, he doesn't even have to involve himself, but when he does? It's not pretty.

So what of the men he's regularly seen with? Any man within his inner circle, like Husk, is held at a metaphorical arms length (metaphorical because in reality, he doesn't really respect other people's personal bubbles. He's a very touchy person). These men are only part of the inner circle because they work for Alastor; either he owns their soul, or they owe him a favor. If a man doesn't have one of those things, then Alastor has no reason to keep them around and will not waste time with them.

Angel Dust falls in a sort of gray area here. He doesn't owe Alastor anything, so Alastor shouldn't be wasting his time with that one... However, he's part of Charlie's hotel, which is the only piece of physical property that Alastor has claimed as part of his territory. So dealing with Angel Dust is technically hotel business. Same with Sir Pentious.