#it genuinely is so disheartening when likes are the only notif

[cheolbooluvr]

yall gotta SPEAK 🗣🗣🗣UP 🗣🗣🗣

respectfully isn't it so Un-Fun to just drop a like on a fic. like u spent so much time sitting and reading it and now u don't wanna say anything?!?!

[vinvantae]

Unmasked

13/16

<<< previous part

Word count: 3.9k

**********************************************

The sun crept across the floor of the room, crawling towards your bed as it slowly began to rise and you hadn’t slept a wink. Charles had told you he had a late meeting but when he had crawled into bed that night, trying not to wake you - you couldn’t help but wonder what kind of meeting would run until that time. It wasn’t until you saw the tweets last night saying everyone had met without you that you felt a pit in your stomach.

Your eyes flickered to Charles as he slept beside you, the sheets pushed down his torso as soft breaths passed through his lips. Why would the whole grid meet without you? Why would Fernando, Esteban and Max leave part of the way through? All of the questions were buzzing through your head and you knew you could wake Charles to ask but if he hadn’t told you about the meeting in the first place why should you?

Instead you sighed and grabbed your phone off of the dresser, wincing as bright light of the screen before you turned it down a little. Your lock screen was flooded with notifications - at first you thought maybe you had done something but when you realised that it was your fellow drivers tagging you in posts on instagram the uneasy feeling settled a little.

They were all making posts supporting you.

From Lewis and Seb to Kevin and Lance. Each of them had posted something on their profiles about how they stood with you - some more detailed than others but each showed just as much respect for you. Your eyes welled with tears as you read Seb’s words especially, the image was simple but he had poured his heart into the caption - and you felt so much love for your former teammate. He had been there for you through thick and thin and hearing just how much you meant to him in such a public forum was enough to bring the first genuine smile to your face since you were assaulted.

As you scrolled through instagram, taking in all of the kind words from your rivals - you couldn’t help but notice those who were missing. Fernando was no surprise as he was very old school about dealing with your criticisms but it was a little disheartening to see that Max, Pierre and Esteban had not posted anything.

And neither had your boyfriend.

The man who had spent the night in your bed hadn’t posted a single word on any of his social media platforms and you weren’t the only one who had noticed. Rumours that you and Charles had broken up was trending just below the IStandWithThirty hashtag the drivers had been using.

“...Charles.” You whispered, gently shaking him.

He grumbled, snuggling further into the bed. “Too early.”

“The internet thinks we broke up.”

His eyes snapped open and his once relaxed face was overtaken with confusion. “W-What? Why?”

“I don't know, maybe it’s because the rest of the grid has written these posts supporting me but my own boyfriend hasn’t?” You raised a brow. “What happened in that meeting, Charles?”

“Sebastian and I didn’t like the way you were being treated and we wanted to do something… so we called the meeting and suggested doing what the others have been doing - posting their support. But Max and Esteban weren’t happy, said it wasn’t enough and both stormed out of the meeting - and Pierre was angry at himself for how he treated you so joined them.” Your teammate felt it best to be honest with you, you’d seen this outpouring of support from your rivals but not your own boyfriend and childhood friends - he didn’t want miscommunication tearing what you both had down. “...And after I sat with it, I agreed with them. I didn’t want to post some blanket statement, you deserve more. You deserve better.”

He studied your face, your eyes flickered across him. “Charles-”

“Before you say you don’t deserve more, just… just don’t.” You watched as he sat up, bringing up a hand to cup your jaw - a thumb brushing softly over your skin. “I just want to show I stand with you with more than just a post, Cherie.”

You lent into his touch. “I love you, and appreciate you.. So much. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but… to stop the internet from thinking the worst of us, maybe you could’ve done both?”

He watched as the corner of your mouth lifted into a playful smirk and he chuckled softly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “Probably. Max just got in my head, said he was disappointed in me for not doing more for you.”

“Max said that?” It was your turn to look confused - since the Dutchman had discovered the truth, it was true the two of you had reconnected but you were surprised by his willingness to speak up against your boyfriend. “...do you know what he has planned?”

“No. I need to find him though - he joked about burning down the FIA HQ but I’m not 100% sure he was joking.”

“...we definitely need to find him.”

***

***

Pierre groaned as the knocking on his door persisted, only seemingly getting louder - so begrudgingly he pulled some clothes on and climbed out of bed. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he crossed the hotel room and opened the door to see you and Charles.You shoulder barged him out of the way and stepped into the room. “Morning to you too.”

“What is Max’s plan?” You looked more like the y/n he’d grown up with than ever - arms folded across your chest, frown etched on your face and foot tapping impatiently. “Because I like you guys but I’m not having you rioting for me.”

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find him and he wasn’t answering his phone.” Pierre approached you, eyes flickering across your face. “But I’m not going to help you stop him, if I find him I’m following him. You deserve to have people fight for you.”

“Pierre, I don’t want you to get in trouble for me.” You whispered. “It’s not worth it.”

The eldest driver looked over your shoulder to your boyfriend who was leaning against the wall. “Bet she’s used the same line on you, huh?”

“I don’t know how many times I can repeat myself. But, I want to do this right, Pierre. In a way where we do what needs to be done but none of us end up out of a seat or in major trouble.” The Monegasque explained. “That's why I was leaning towards just making a statement.”

“You posted something?”

“I should’ve done it in the first place, people were thinking we broke up. Just because I want to do something more, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t give people a reason to question us.” Charles stepped closer to you, eyes not leaving Pierre. “We need to find Max, I don’t want to stop him, I just need to know what he’s planning.”

Pierre considered for a moment, before he looked back at you. “I hope you know, you’re stuck with me. Whether you like it or not, I’ve got a lot of making up to do… so, I’ll help you find Max.”

You wrapped your arms around him and sunk into his hold as he returned the favour, squeezing you tight as if he was making up for lost time. Charles watched the interaction unfold - this wasn’t like any other time Pierre had touched you before. It was innocent - like you both had gone back in time and he could almost see you both as kids again.

“Now c’mon, there’s an angry Dutchman on the loose.”

It took the three of you nearly the whole day to find Max, asking everyone who might know something until you realised you were missing the least but somehow most obvious person. Esteban. He’d followed Max out so of course he knew where he was - in fact, when you ended up finding the redbull driver, the two of them were together at a small cafe nestled away in a narrow street hidden from the crowds.

“Now, this is not something I’d ever thought I’d see.” Charles chuckled, pulling up a chair for you both at the table. “I know you’ve moved passed the stuff in the past but-”

“We’re not exactly best friends, I know.” Esteban smiled, standing up to greet you. “Hi y/n, it’s really good to see you again.”

You shook his hand. “You too, Esteban. Please don’t do anything that will get you in trouble.”

He laughed softly and shook his head. “I could do with some trouble.”

“What do you have planned, Max Emilian?” You huffed, sitting beside the Dutchman - narrowing your eyes a little. “I know you could get away with murder being Christian’s golden boy but I still don’t want you getting barred or disqualified or whatever just for me.”

“Nothing that bad y/n. Look…” Max sighed, leaning forward a little. “I just don't think that an instagram post is gonna do shit. The people who use violence aren’t going to read some preachy text.”

“So you’re not going to tell me what you’re up to?”

He shook his head. “Nah, you’ll just try and stop me. I know you probably don’t think you’re with all of this but despite us growing apart over the years, I still care about you. And I can’t just sit by while these dickheads, who are my fans, get away with hurting you.”

“Max-”

“C’mon, y/n, I’m not naive. I’ve seen photos of the guy, I see the profile pictures and usernames… a lot of these twats are my fans.” He grumbled. “So, hopefully, if they listen to anyone, they’ll listen to me.”

Charles placed a gentle hand on your thigh. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel, cherie? I’ll make sure whatever they plan isn't crazy. Okay?”

He smiled softly as you jut your bottom lip out in protest, before nodding and standing up from your chair - casting your eyes one more time across the unlikely group before you. “Just… don’t be stupid.”

“How can we? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Max grinned, making you gasp and smack him playfully upside the head. “Sorry, sorry. Kidding.”

“You better be.” You turned to Charles. “Text me when you’re on your way back, please?”

The Monegasque nodded. “Will do. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

You took a deep breath before leaving their fates in their own hands - you had no idea what they were planning and honestly? At this point you weren’t sure you wanted to know. Instead you hopped into a cab and started messaging your fellow drivers, thanking them for their kind words and support on instagram. Even after you reveal, you had really only spoken to those who had known who you were before - so when Lando asked if you wanted to join him and Carlos for a beer, you decided to go.

Maybe it would take your mind off of the scheming Max was doing with your boyfriend and childhood karting rivals.

“This is a pleasant surprise.” Carlos smiled, as you sank down into the booth beside Lando - a gentle smile on his face. “If I thought you were out of Charles’ league before, you definitely are now.”

You laughed. “Thanks Carlos. And thank you, Lando for inviting me out - I’ve been wanting to get to know everyone better.”

“Are you kidding? I can’t believe you said yes.” The young Brit grinned, you could tell why everyone liked him - he had this boyish charm. “This is sick. I’m hanging out with the Thirty!”

The pink took over your cheeks within an instant and you rubbed the back of your neck. “It means a lot that you don’t see me any differently now you know I’m a girl.”

Lando took a sip of his beer, ignoring the buzz of his phone against the wood of the table - more interested in what you had to say. “If anything that just makes you cooler.”

“So, colour me curious.” Carlos spoke up, propping his elbows up on the table. “Who knew about you before? Obviously Charles and Sebastian, but who else?”

“Just Max and Lewis. They both had me figured out so I just came clean, but it was only really a few weeks that they knew.”

Carlos huffed a little and leant back in his chair, strong arms folded across his chest. “Can’t believe my own teammate knew and I was blind as a bat, I thought I’d noticed him acting differently around you.”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

Carlos raised a brow. “Well he went from being super suspicious of you one minute, to indifferent. He told both me and Daniel he expected you but neither of us believed him… sorry about that.”

“I wouldn’t have believed him either, y’know?” You smiled reassuringly. “That was kind of the whole point of the story that the team came up with.”

“You got me there. Well, cheers to this new friendship, aye?” He grinned, the three of you clinking your beers together - Lando’s phone continuing to buzz on the table. “You gonna answer that, mate?”

Lando huffed and picked it up. “Some of the others want to crash later, turn it into a real party but I was only gonna stick to a couple of beers.”

“…I mean… I could party.”

Carlos grinned. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

And that is how you ended up doing shots with Carlos and Daniel - as the evening had progressed the music had got louder and the bar had gotten more crowded. It was distracting you from the fact Charles still hadn’t texted you despite you having sent him a few question marks. You were scared of what was taking the four of them this long to plan - there was no way this wasn’t going to be trouble.

“You okay?” You felt a warm hand on your shoulder, Lando gently tugged so you were facing him - his eyes were somehow still bright beneath the flashing lights of the dark club. “For someone who ended up on the podium, you don’t seem to be particularly happy.”

“Lannn.” You whined, leaning into him a little - the alcohol buzzing through your veins. You thrust your phone in his face, the bright light of the screen making him squint a little. “Why hasn’t Charles’ text me?”

He chuckled softly, draping an arm across your shoulder - coaxing you gently towards a booth where a few other drivers were sitting. “Uhm, not sure. Where is he?”

“Planning some dumb thingy with Max, Pierre and Esteban. They’re going to get in trouble for me and I don’t want that.”

Lando shook his head. “It’s cus they care about you, I bet. They wouldn’t do this for just anyone… Pierre and Esteban in the same place? Those two haven’t got on since they were kids, you know that better than anyone.”

“You think that’s why?” You pouted softly. “I’m gonna text him again.”

“Okay, y/n. You do that… I’m gonna get you a glass of water.” He patted you gently on the shoulder before heading back over to the bar, leaving you in the company of Carlos, Daniel and George.

You shuffled further into the booth and tucked yourself under Carlos’ arm, the Spaniard squeezing your shoulder. “You okay, hermosa?”

“Charles is ignoring me.” You grumbled, propping your chin up on his shoulder - whatever he was wearing smelt manly, and with Charles preferring a more subtle fragrance it was noticeable.

Daniel laughed. “Well that’s not very nice of him is it. Are you having a good time though?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it's nice to get to know you guys. Just can’t help but miss Charles, he’s my rock. Feels weird having fun without him.”

“His loss then, hmm? You can have a great time with us instead.” He chuckled, his eyes boring into yours, a kind smile on his face.

“Oh can she now?”

You moved your gaze from Carlos’ dark eyes to the source of the voice to see Charles stood in front of the table with his arms folded across his chest - his brow raised. “Charl.”

“Did you not get any of my texts… or calls?” He said, sitting beside you in the booth - wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you away from Carlos and into his side.

“Did you not get any of mine?” You frowned, fishing your phone out of your pocket - eyes widening a little when you saw none of your messages had gone through to your boyfriend. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Charles teased, leaning in to kiss you. “Were you worrying, Cherie?”

“…maybe.”

“And did you get drunk to distract yourself from the fact you were worried?”

Your cheeks flushed. “…maybe.”

He laughed and thanked Lando as he placed your glass of water on the table. “Thanks for your text mate, I was starting to think I’d lost her.”

“I saw the non-delivered when she showed me her phone so I thought it might be a two-way issue.” The Brit smiled softly. “You gonna stay for a bit?”

“Only a little while, I think this one has had enough fun for both of us.” Charles smiled at Lando before looking down at you - your cheeks flushed a pretty pink. He let his gaze wander to Carlos for a moment but the Spaniard didn’t meet his eyes.

Not another one. He groaned internally. Sooner or later he was going to have to put a flashing neon sign above your head to remind the other drivers that you were his girlfriend. It wasn’t purely selfish either, there had been one too many tweets calling you a paddock bunny, so he didn’t want to give anymore fuel to that fire. So if he had to give Carlos and Lewis a not so friendly warning, he would. Pierre had become less of a concern since the two of you had reconnected - the Frenchman starting to see you as more of a little sister, like he used to back in the day. But Carlos and Lewis didn’t have that connection with you - so you were just this insanely talented and beautiful woman to them. He hoped that his relationship with you would be enough to keep them at bay but he couldn’t help but feel a little worried.

“Charl.” Your warm hand on his jaw brought him back to reality - your eyes were transfixed on him when he looked down at you. “Where did you go, amour?”

“Nowhere, cherie, I’m here with you.” He smiled, the sparkle in your eyes was enough to put him at ease - it didn’t matter what the others did. You were as in love with him as he was with you. He pressed a chaste kiss to your temple. “Wanna go home?”

“Yeah, but kisses first please.”

You keened as Charles curled a hand around the back of your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. You draped your arms over his shoulders, letting him lead the show you knew he was putting on for the others - he didn’t have to say out loud that he had felt jealous of Carlos, but it was never going to be Carlos. It was always going to be him.

As you pulled back, you let your eyes meet his as you smiled. “I love you.”

“Je t’aime, y/n.”

Lando gagged, reminding you that you weren’t alone - Charles relished in the way you hid your face in his neck. “We get it, you love each other. Get a room now, gross.”

You made sure to give each driver a hug before letting Charles lead you outside to grab a cab - you watched him as he tapped away on his phone, his breath leaving his body in soft clouds. When he caught you staring, you weren’t embarrassed, you simply stepped closer and let him wrap you up in his arms. “Charl, are you going to tell me what you boys were planning for so long?”

“Mhmm, I don’t know. Don’t know if I want to ruin it for them. I promise you it’s nothing crazy.” He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, before opening the door of the taxi for you both as it pulled up on the street. “Now, early flight tomorrow, need to get you to bed.”

“Fiiine, only ‘cus you’re pretty and I love you.” You giggled, tilting his chin down so you could kiss him before sliding into the taxi. “I will get that plan out of you by the end of the night.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, climbing in beside you - going to protest your claim but when you pulled him in for another deep kiss, his words were stolen from him and his mind was distracted by your hands running all over him, a hand ghosting over his belt. “Even if that means we get a fine for fooling around in this taxi.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Your playful smirk told him that you absolutely would so he used all of his willpower to move your hand away from his trousers. “Okay, okay… So here’s what’s going to happen.”

He pressed a kiss to your lips, pulling away so they were ghosting over yours - the way your breath hitched in your throat was delicious but he was going to behave. It was his turn to smirk now, his hand trailing up your side.

“This is what’s going to happen, Cherie.” He purred, pressing a kiss to the pulse point under your jaw. “We’re going to go back to the hotel, get some sleep and in the morning I’ll tell you all about what Max has planned okay?”

You were in no place to protest, your brain foggy with lust as he pressed kisses along your neck and jaw - so you simply nodded, dipping your head to catch his lips in another kiss. “Can… Can I add one more thing to the agenda?”

When your eyes met his, you could barely see the green - his pupils blown wide and he seemed to have as much trouble catching his breath as you did. His strong hands gripped your waist and he pulled you in closer. “If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then we can definitely add you… add that to the to do list.”

He captured your giggle with a kiss, not wasting a second as the taxi pulled up outside the hotel. After a generous tip to the poor cab driver, your teammate took your hand in his and led you through the hotel. With a swift kiss as a distraction, he swiped the keycard from your pocket and opened the door.

You kicked your shoes off and turned to face your boyfriend. “Well we can tick off going back to the hotel on the to-do list…”

Charles chuckled and took your waist in his hands, pulling you closer. “What was next?”

“Let me remind you.”

*******

Next part >>>

Hope you enjoyed ❤️❤️ what on earth are those boys up to 🤔

Want to be notified when I post? Join our discord, head over to #reaction-roles and click the sunflower 🌻

[icharchivist]

i don't know how to say it because i'm not super good at drawing boundaries but sometimes you guys get overexcited and can be a bit too mean, and while i can't ask for everyone to like, read the mood, it does feel really disheartening when i'm clearly being emotional or tired that it's completely irrelevent if you want to have your fun.

and i'm sorry no, "you can answer later" doesn't cut it when i can like, have enough energy to indulge in answering one ask and then everyone suddenly start to decide it means it's the right moment to fly in and really go ham about it. and nevertheless i will see the notification, i will see the message in my activity page, i always clearly see when i'm posting emotional stuff and there's a long ask about horny headcanons dropping right afterward. Sure I can ignore the ask for later to answer but that doesn't change the initial feeling of disconnect.

it still is my blog, it's still is the place i manage and have been throwing my thoughts randomly in the void mostly for over ten years, it's really touching and humbling that you have found yourselves at peace talking with me and it's genuinely sweet at times, but eventually it adds this level of stress when i am just not in the mood or clearly doing something else and then the inbox gets to explode regardless, or about it even.

I'm not asking you to care about what i do or anything like that but this is a difficult position to be on for me and ngl it really does feel like at times it just totally disregards my feelings.

Like i spent the evening of the day i was talking about going through an emotional moment out of the death of one of my fav chara of all time, having to answer multiple horny asks. And like, i thought answering one or two wouldn't hurt at first but eventually it's when i was 10 asks in that it really sunk in and i started to feel really depressed.

I'm glad you have fun here and i do joke about being a clown putting on a show, but this isn't really a joke anymore when i genuinely feel like you go ham like that without consideration about how i could be feeling because you decided to come and and hit the funny box. Unlike any of you who can go on with their day or can decide not to read things, i have to read everything that comes into my inbox eventually.

It's really difficult to articulate because it's usually not so bad, it's been a whole ton of fun and i don't know how to word it in a way that wouldn't just scare people of. and a lot of the problem is more in the fact that there's a lot of you and what can be 2/3 asks you may send sometimes add up to 50 asks a day, if not more, and if it's less it's because i carefully been offline trying not to blog about anything unless it blows off again.

But getting the feeling that i'm an entertainer who has to always be ready for the direction you guys want to take regardless of what i may be doing or feeling is starting to genuinely weight on me.

idk how to fix it, it's not like i want you guys to just stop messaging all together, and i can't ask for this type of attentiveness, but a little consideration would be nice once in a while without me having to be hyper explicit about why i wouldn't feel up to the task, especially since i do have the habit to carry on regardless of my discomfort and only realize way later that i've been pushing myself then.

Like idk just. just chill a little?

[eleventhsister]

67, 53, 42 for the writer asks?

I DIDN"T SEE THIS I'm sorry😭 I had no idea I had this message until I checked on desktop, the app is terrible at letting me know when I have notifs

42.) What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

When speaking literally, the last fic i read was an old one of my own and absolutely not, there is a reason it's set to friends only haha

But the last real one I read was honey, you're familiar by tigerlilycorinne and I absolutely recommend it

53.) How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Up until recently, it's probably been 80/20 reading/writing. I love writing, but I've gotten so burnt out writing fic. It's disheartening when I spend months on every chapter I write and never get much feedback. I've kinda just fallen into the mindset of writing things in my head and shelving it in a mental catalogue instead.

When I'm writing I purposely avoid reading fic bc I don't want to unconsciously pick bits from what I've read and put it into my own.

I have been writing more recently, and it's more or less the first time I've written in like 4 years or so? I've been happy about it, but tbh the burnout is catching up again quickly and I'm starting to pull back again. It's hard to want to put the effort in when I don't know if anyone really genuinely cares or if I'm good at all in the first place, ya know? I'm trying not to fall into the negativity again tho

67.) Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

Prophetic visions /hj

(Some of my favorite ideas I want to write literally come from my dreams😂)

I've tried prompts and challenges many times, but I never really get much inspo from it. Most the time I get inspo from random places, like the vibe of a scene in a show, or something I hear someone say.

[ask game questions]

[possumsarenice]

Just letting all of you know before I start doing it: from now on if someone like my original post and doesn’t reblog I’m blocking thing. Getting 32 like and 2 reblogs in the most annoying thing on this website. This isn’t an algorithm based platform. The only thing likes do is send the user a notification, and getting likes but no reblogs GENUINELY make me not want to post anything on here. It’s really, really disheartening. So from now on when I post something and only get a like, I’m blocking that person. I’m fine with a like and reblog without any tags, just please actually reblog things please.

[tenderlyrenjun]

hi this might be long but it's purely from the good in my heart. i read time out and married and privacy all right when you published them but since my blog isn't a nct blog and i only come on this app to check on the fic tags every night i just didn't follow you but i recognised your url everytime you posted and it made me! so happy!!!!!!!!!!! more than my exclamation marks will ever convey you are A Very Good Writer despite what you keep telling yourself

i read law student renjun last night and i swear it got into my dreams so i checked your blog right away the morning after expecting sentiments from people who loved it as much as i did ONLY TO BE absolutely befuddled at some of your recent anons........ considering i've been reading fics my whole life p much and yours are truly remarkable and some of the most memorable ones i've read it makes absolutely no sense to me that someone would pick on your smut or punctuation or WHATEVER THE FUCK because your writing rocks my socks off. i genuinely genuinely genuinely mean it from the bottom of my heart

i do hope you do not get disheartened by the mean shit that you've had the displeasure of having to acknowledge in ur inbox. i just had to.. let you know how much i truly do enjoy and love your fics and cherish your characters and screw the ones who don't because i'm here! i'll be here! pls keep writing the way you do now because i will always be here to read them

hi, omg, sorry, I am just seeing this; I don't really scroll through my inbox so things get lost in my notifications sometimes :(( thank you so much for liking my fics ^^

sorry, I know that I always tell myself that I'm a bad writer (I'm not, like, an actual writer ... like, there are people who are better and actually writing enough to be actual writers) , probably more than other people; I just have a lot of anxiety. Every time I finish a fic, I kinda obsessively read and reread it until I, like, essentially, hate it - which is bad, i know, but, like, I just have a lot of anxiety about writing and finishing fics. I know that no one owes me, like feedback and stuff, so it's just me kinda, like, sitting with my thoughts, which can be ... like, really mean sometimes, but it's fine; it doesn't impact anyone except me.

I appreciate that people get, like, defensive(?) for me about critical anons, but I did ask for it, so don't worry!! You don't owe me, like, defense or anything. anons don't even owe me feedback and I should be grateful any time I get an ask; I'm just really focused on external validation, sorry, so sometimes it's just ... yeah, it's just hard lol, but it's fine! Not everyone has to think I'm a good writer, or even a writer in general; and I'm probably a bad writer, given that the initial reaction to my fics is to point out all the bad things; I have a lot to work on and I should be more grateful that people went out of their way to tell me these things because really, truly, no one owes me anything and I'm too focused on external validation, so don't worry. I asked for this feedback!

[spurnedadulthood]

hello, could you please set your queue to every 6 or 12 hours? to have it go off every hour is clogging my dash. not to be rude your message could be read in an unfavorable light the way you point out that only three muses connected with kensuke while you go and take your partners for granted. it was borderline passive aggressive if not downright guilt trip and it might not be your intention. i’m sure you are a wonderful person with many ideas if given the chance and it might be the wording in that post. i wish you the best of luck

First of all, I apologize for clogging your dash, but at the same time, you could always just unfollow if it bothered you that much? Like, due to the fact differing timezones is a thing, I wanted to ensure more people see my post so they can decide from there whether or not they want to unfollow/block me.

Second of all, I've been gone for a long while, so like I already said, everyone I was writing with either broke mutuals with me during my absence, became inactive, deactivated, or retired from the RPC entirely, so I don't know what you want me to say? Besides, I think you're overestimating how large my writing pool is, because not only is it rare for my threads to ever advance past two notes, it's not as though I had people clamoring to write with me; in fact, getting more interactions on here has often been akin to pulling teeth for the last two years and I'm not joking when I say the last notif I ever got was in February 2, so I have no idea what 'roleplay partners' I managed to take for granted, when really, it's the other way around.

I mean, you can say 'lack of activity doesn't reflect interest' all you want, but besides my own reblogs, my activity page literally shows two other notifs, and I can't even scroll down it... because nothing past it exists, and most of my followers I do have are inactive, because again, I have not been here.

Like, the whole reason I ended up vanishing from Kensuke's blog to begin with was because I was disheartened by how hardly anyone interacted with him and that has sadly been a reoccurring thing that happens again and again. Seriously, not only do the starters I write for people tend not to get replied to, I frequently get flaky muns essentially wasting my time and getting my hopes up for interactions... so when you consider how Kensuke is a character from a very niche series, how unwelcoming the RPC is towards characters from less than mainstream fandoms, and how dead tumblr RP has recently been, it's only natural for him to only have three bonds at best...

I mean, you might not like it, but it's the factual truth? And I'm not the type to really sugarcoat things, so as far as I'm concerned, actions speak louder than words; therefore, I don't really get the sense many are still interested in Kensuke as a muse. In fact, maybe I'm missing something here, but I'm genuinely confused on how it's guilt-tripping/passive-aggressiveness when I say that as a result of a lot of people moving on from tumblr roleplay (whether it's because they deactivated or retired from the RPC) and people I've been writing with understandably blocking me, Kensuke no longer has a lot of muses left that have a bond with him... so if people end up taking that the wrong way, then I don't know what to tell them, other than the fact I have legit been gone for a long time, so not many of my old roleplay partners are still around?

Either way, I do not appreciate the fact you didn't even bother to address this privately with me and forced me to unnecessarily post this on the dash where everyone could potentially see, so until further notice, I'm disabling the anonymous function... because I really would not prefer dragging this out longer than it has to be dragged out. I will, however, do as you request and space out my queue to post every 6 hours, but next time, please message me privately if you have any concerns.

[egcdeath]

finders keepers

summary: did captain america just steal your cat?

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: tooth rotting fluff, strangers to lovers

author’s note: it’s been way too long since i wrote some pure, self indulgent fluff. this has been quite the refreshing experience for me but i think it’s back to our regularly scheduled program after this ;)

you can find my masterlist and taglist here

Miso had an air of arrogance that you admired. She took the world by its kitty balls, doing whatever she pleased whenever she pleased. Your cat left the apartment for sometimes days at a time, and frequently led male cats to your door. To you, your cat was more like a roommate than a pet, hogging up most of your bed, standing on the counter while you attempted to make food for yourself, and leaving most areas dirtier than she originally found it. 

Okay, maybe you were personifying your cat a little too much. But after moving out to D.C., you were unspeakably lonely. Most days, it felt like Miso was all you had, and that you were all Miso had (save for her army of cat boyfriends). 

This made things all the more concerning for you when you’d realized that you hadn’t seen your cat companion in five days. Five whole days without the comforting vibration of her purr, her ungodly hours of wakeup calls demanding to be played with, or pet. The cherry on top was that the cat food outside your door appeared to be completely untouched.

In your frenzied realization of your missing cat, your mind raced with a thousand different terrible situations your dear Miso could’ve found herself in. You frantically clicked through pictures of her on an online album and attempted to find a photo that would capture her white fur with large blobs of auburn, and her vibrant blue eyes to put on your ‘MISSING’ sign. The longer you clicked, the more that you began to worry that she had been caught and kidnapped by some terrible person with bad intentions. 

You finally threw together the poster, sending it to your phone so that you could print it off at the OfficeMax down the street. Luckily for you, you didn’t make it that far, as the moment you began to lock the closed door of your apartment, you saw the unmistakable figure of your cat. 

In the arms of your neighbor.

Now, you’d never met Steve. He was an Avenger, Captain America to be exact, and you were just… you. You’d convinced yourself that attempting to introduce yourself to him would ultimately end in failure, and an embarrassing one at that. Maybe he’d scoff and walk away, or call Tony Stark in front of you and tell him about the crazy woman he just encountered. 

But none of that mattered. Captain America was stealing your fucking cat. 

“Excuse me, sir?” You asked, stepping away from your door and approaching the Greek God of a man to the right of you. 

“Oh, hey! We must be n-“

“You have my cat,” you said bluntly.

“I’m sorry, what?” Steve seemed to do a double take

“My cat, y’know, the feline in your arms.”

“Well, maybe we just have similar looking cats. This is Arabella.”

You nearly scoffed at this, shaking your head. First, Captain America kidnapped your cat, and now he’s trying to convince you that it’s not your cat? Yeah, you’d know Miso from a mile away. And what kind of name is Arabella?

“Arabella is a great name for her,” Steve retorted, pulling the cat closer to his chest. Shit, did you say that out loud?

“Well I think it’s time for Miso to come back home,” the cat’s ears perked at this, and she glanced over at you. The sight of you made her wiggle and hop out of Steve’s tight embrace, landing on her feet and trotting over to you. The damn cat rubbed her face against your calf and purred as if she hadn’t been cheating on you for long enough to have gained a new name.

You squatted down and rubbed the back of your hand against her cheek, and shook your head at your pet, “you’re getting put on probation, young lady.” 

She didn’t seem to mind, pacing back and forth around you. You glanced up and saw Steve with a rather neutral expression on his face, as if he was masking whatever it was that he was feeling.

“I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Uh, maybe I’ll see you both around sometime,” disappointment coated his every word before he opened up his apartment door and promptly closed it behind him. 

You were surprised at how quickly he conceded, but you weren’t particularly mad about it either. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you never got your Miso back.

——

A whole day later, you’d been in your apartment typing up an email when a soft rapping at your door got your attention.

“Just a second!” you called, hopping up and hurrying to the door. When you opened it, Steve was standing in front of you, waiting with an oversized box in his hands.

“These are some of Ar- Miso?” he trailed off, waiting for you to confirm the name, and you gave him a tiny nod. “These are some of Miso’s toys. I just figured if she’s not staying at my place anymore…”

As if on cue, Miso strolled up to the door, and stretched her arms up on Steve’s leg, begging to be picked up. The man glanced at you for approval, and you gave a dismissive shrug before he set down the box, and held up the cat.

Steve frowned as he held her, and frankly, it pulled on your heart strings. You had to remind yourself that this man had been holding your cat captive for at least a week, and at most… who knows. 

She clearly had a connection with him, and that was what intrigued you most. Miso was a very picky cat, and it was only occasionally that she found someone that she genuinely liked, let alone wanted to be picked up by. If you continued to watch the display of affection in front of you, you might just cave.

“Uh, I left something in the oven for a little too long, so I should probably go get that. Thanks for stopping by.”

Steve nodded, understanding that it was time for him to exit.

——

You should’ve seen this coming the minute Miso was back in your home. You stepped out of the shower one morning to find your front door slightly ajar, and your animal nowhere to be found. 

You huffed, frustrated that just three days after you told yourself that your cat was completely indoor from that point on, she had escaped. She could literally be anywhere at this point.

In a whirlwind, you threw on a sweatshirt and pants, ready to go print out the missing posters that you had designed just a few days ago. As you slipped on sneakers, you realized something very crucial. She might just be at Steve’s place.

You groaned aloud, rubbing your temple as you thought of how difficult your cat was being. You were becoming a bit nervous to approach Steve, you hadn’t gotten off to the greatest start, and if your cat wasn’t there, things might just be awkward.

Regardless, you knew you needed to try, so you exited your own home, and knocked on the door of Steve’s.

A few moments later, he appeared with your cat in tow. 

“Hey!” he paused and trailed off, “I never got your name before.”

“That’s what you care about right now?” you glanced down at your animal. “It’s Y/N, by the way.”

“Hi, Y/N. Miso and I were just enjoying breakfast, if you’d like to join us?”

Was Steve shooting his shot? 

“I appreciate your offer, but I think I’m alright. I have to get back to work, and my cat is still in your custody,” your eyes flickered down to the animal who stood proudly by his side. 

“Maybe some other time,” he shrugged. “You work from home?”

You nodded, then squatted down to get eye level with your cat. 

“I’m jealous,” he chuckled. “Alright, I’ll stop bothering you now. Bye Miso, see you around, Y/N.”

You picked up your cat, who briefly dug her nails into the ground in resistance before submitting to her capture. As you brought her back home, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d made the right choice.

——

Ever since you’d discovered Miso, or Arabella’s secret life, it’s like you couldn’t stop noticing her connection to Steve. 

Some days, she’d be gone until the dead of night, when she’d meow and paw at your front door until you woke up. Other times she’d be laying in bed with you, and she smelled distinctly of your neighbor. Your cat had single handedly turned a stranger into a thoroughly integrated part of your life.

It was as if Miso was now your child, and Steve your ex-husband in a Cold War style custody battle, where Miso seemed to prefer her father. It was slightly disheartening. At the very least, you knew she was in good hands. 

You held a throw pillow to your chest while you watched a rerun of a sitcom on your television, procrastinating in your work for as long as you possibly could. The sound of a knock on your door pulled you from your trance, and as you peeked through the peephole of your door, you saw a slightly distorted Steve.

Opening up the door, you gave him just the faintest hint of a smile, “what’s up, neighbor? Need me to grab you some treats for Arabella, or something?”

“Kinda the opposite,” he gestured with his head down to the cat squirming in his hands. “I’m gonna be gone on a mission for the next week or so. I just wanted to let you know that if Miso gets out, she’s not with me.” 

Steve set her down on your carpet, and she happily collapsed at your feet, “keep her safe for me, alright?” 

——

You took a deep breath as you approached his door, hoping he hadn’t left just yet. You fiddled with the sticky note containing your number, and polaroid photo of your cat in your hand, considering turning around and scrapping the idea all together. 

It was silly to think that an Avenger would ever bother reaching out to you. You were probably overstepping anyway. Steve would think you were a freak and take full custody of your beloved Miso once and for all. 

Going against your better judgment, you set down the polaroid-note combo and quickly slid it under Steve’s door. Whatever happened happened.

The next morning, you were pleased to receive a notification from an unknown number. 

Send Miso pics?

You were more than happy to oblige. 

——

Over the course of Steve’s week-long mission, you’d sent several pictures and videos of your cat doing random things. Trying to get on the table, sleeping on top of your dryer, and even playing with one of the toys Steve provided.

Surprisingly, Steve wasn’t as dry of a texter as you thought he’d be. He was eating up all of the Miso content, and would occasionally even ask for you to send more photos. 

The final night of his mission, you were surprised when you received a FaceTime request, at first writing it off as a technical error (he was from a different time period, after all), but the follow up call demonstrated his intentions.

You cautiously picked up, the knot in your stomach growing as you did so, “hello?”

“Hi!” Steve greeted optimistically, the phone just a bit too close to his face. “Any Miso sightings?”

“Yeah, she’s actually sleeping on my foot right now,” you chuckled, flipping the camera so you could show her off in your dim, lamp-lit bedroom. 

“So cute,” he hummed, “how have you been?”

“Me?” you laughed quietly, “I’m not the one on a top secret mission in god-knows-where. But I’ve been fine. How are you?”

“Honestly? I’m pretty tired. Kinda can’t wait to get home and see you and Miso,” he said in a quieter voice. 

Your brain stalled out for a second. Steve was excited to see you? You hoped that you were reading this the right way, as you were more than willing to go with whatever it was that Steve was putting down.

“We’ll be expecting an immediate visit from you, then. I’ll let Miso know that she needs to start kneading a bread loaf for you as soon as possible. Any idea of what time you’re getting into D.C.?” 

“Probably late morning, but it really depends on when Natasha gets up.”

You had a moment where you realized that you were talking to a real life superhero, and he had just referenced his friend… who was also a superhero. You paused for a second. 

“Y/N? Hey, you still here?”

“Yeah! Yeah. I just zoned out for a sec. Well, you better get here safe or else someone is going to be very annoyed with you.”

Steve laughed softly across the line, and you adjusted yourself in bed, yawning softly.

“I’m sorry, I forgot how late it is over there,” Steve apologized.

“Don’t worry, I was up anyway. One of Miso’s boyfriends is pretty upset that he can’t come in here and spend the night with her.”

“Which one?”

“I think that grey one. I don’t really know what his voice sounds like, but she’s been leading him on lately,” you responded, eliciting a laugh from both you and Steve. 

“Try to get some sleep, okay? I don’t need you snoozing while I come to visit our girl.”

“You are something else, Steve Rogers,” you said fondly, adjusting your phone one last time as you hugged a pillow. “I’ll get to sleep. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

You hung up, and cuddled into your pillow with a sigh. Calling your dreams that night sweet was an understatement. 

——

You seemed to be Steve’s first stop after his mission, stopping at your door with his duffel bag still attached to his arm, and wearing a slightly dirty and much too small white t-shirt.

Expecting his presence, you quickly got the door and gave him a toothy grin. 

“It’s so good to see your face without a screen,” Steve commented. Internally, you swooned. 

“I could say the same for you, Steve.”

Miso had been summoned by the sound of Steve’s voice, practically sprinting to the door and meowing at him on the top of her lungs. 

“Miso really appreciates you coming here to see her first,” you added as he lifted her up and quietly cooed into her wrinkly head. “Feel free to take her for the next few days. I’m sure she’s getting tired of me.”

Steve shook his head at you, and grinned, “that’s so sweet of you,” he briefly looked down at his wristwatch, and his brows raised.

“Shit. I have to go, but I promise to see you soon. I’m glad to see that everything is well. Take care, Y/N,” Steve began making his way back to his own apartment, and you watched him with the semblance of a frown. 

You really needed to stop longing for the unobtainable. 

——

You hadn’t heard from Steve in a few days following his return, and your brief interaction with him. Part of you wondered if he was avoiding you for some  reason. 

Your phone lit up the room as it went off, and you grabbed it to look at the notification you received.

A picture of Steve grinning with Miso sitting on his chest looked back at you with a simple message connected to it.

Wanna come over? :D

[6okuto]

Hiya Nia! I love your personality & writing! As for your anons they are… interesting?? (Though I do sometimes worry about them ngl) Regardless, getting a notification from your account is always a treat ♡

I was wondering if you could please write about Felix with a mc that has ADD/ADHD? Like they’re always forgetting/losing their stuff, has trouble focusing on their magic lessons, can’t sit in one place for too long sort of thing? But instead of constantly being frustrated with them he’s more understanding and patient with them? I grew up with, and still have to deal with, my ADD and it’s always disheartening when I’m constantly met with frustrated remarks from my loved ones despite my best efforts.

But only write if you want/feel comfortable doing so! Keep up the good work! ♡

crying. THANK U...i look at my anons like little feral cats sometimes. like ohh little guy... Oh No. ohh little guy again /pos /lh. this is so real tbh. i rlly hope everyone becomes more understanding and that u find people you feel comfortable with :[

felix might be a little "? Hello?" the first time he catches mc not paying attention because their circumstances are not ? one you'd really expect to be distracted in,,

but as soon as mc explains he understands better and tries to switch gears to make things easier fr!

he makes sure there's specific spots that they can leave things and check on first

very much "felix, have you seen the book i was reading?" "have you checked the edge of my desk?" "ah."

as somebody who's lost Countless important things,, if mc Does lose something, felix reassures them it'll be alright even if it was something of his. they look for it but if they can't find it, he promises they'll figure out a plan to make up for it

executive dysfunction goes crazy! felix offers to be their body double whenever they have something they need to work on. they spend a lot of afternoons just working peacefully until one of them gets up for a break

he remembers things that they mentioned, whether it be something they had to buy or do, and checks in with them about it. it turns into felix going with them/doing something at the same time because he's just so used to their,, Lives being intertwined

there's always some kind of to-do list or calendar near their workspace so it's easier to keep track of things

scheduling Also goes crazy. felix figures out what kind of schedule works best for them whether it's more like the pomodoro method or flowtime technique or something else. mc is the priority here

motivation comes and goes . if mc just really can't seem to focus, they stop for a bit and that's alright !!

he hates seeing them upset with themself about not completing what they set out to do </3 they figure out a baseline that they can try to reach to help them stay motivated

^ he Does like to celebrate and congratulate them when they do finish bigger tasks.

if their mind starts to wander during lessons and they apologize he says it's alright and re-explains it without getting upset

doesn't mind if they shuffle around in their seat or even get up to pace while talking/learning . there's been multiple times that he did the same thing with them just so they knew he was comfortable as long as they were

do they have Fidget Toys TM? probably not. but there's definitely things around that he can find for mc to fidget with and they both consider that a Win!

felix asks mc what kind of magic they'd be interested in. like,, specifics because actually enjoying the topic helps them stay focused and motivated

he genuinely gets upset if he hears that people haven't been as kind to mc as he is. like he fully thinks this is just ? the bare minimum or what you Should Do ? like "people from earth know about this yet don't have the decency to be mindful of it?" yes actually :/

he starts trying even harder and encouraging them even more than he already was

never ever lets mc beat themself up for struggling. whenever they're frustrated about their adhd, felix pulls them away and reassures them that they're doing their best and it's okay </3 it's tough but not impossible and he hopes they know he'll support them however he can :[

tags (can't tag? :() // @evanox @felixescellun @yelenalovegood @rimeliker @demon-paradise @pst-02 @diamo-chan @chubbywasouski @god-is-trans @sweet-milky-tea705 @felixismytrophywife @bananacockatiel @yoyo-campfire @azahelmz mon taglist if u want to join :0

[novannna]

Okay, so I’ve been noticing some things on tumblr, and thats the amount of recognitions writers get.  I’m very aware that most content creators get little recognition, but I’m focusing on writers, because I feel like they are on the bottom of the figurative food chain.

I spend a lot of my time writing.  Why?  Well, I do it for me.  I genuinely enjoy writing.  It’s something I find fun, relaxing, and a good way to distract myself when I feel bad.  I also don’t really care about the amount of reblogs/likes I get, because I’m not writing for tumblr, I’m writing for myself.  

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me.  

I love getting recognition for my work.  The reason I post is because I know I’m sharing my writing, and I know that people I don’t know are reading it.  Hopefully they are enjoying it too.  

But when I get only 5 notes on a story, that makes me think “oh no, they hate it”.  Its really disheartening to check your notifs after posting a story, and seeing nothing.  My mind gets stuck in a loop of “why am I doing this, I’m a bad writer, everyone hates it, I should just stop”  And I know that it isnt true, but there isn’t much happening to change it.  I honestly dont care about the notes, but what I do care aboout is whether or not people liked it.  And I don’t think people do when my fics are getting less than 10 notes.  

Another thing- LIKES DONT DO SHIT!!!!!

Please, reblog.  I’m not saying not to like it, but liking a post doesn’t spread it.  My goal is for as many people as possible to read my fics.  But, if no one reblogs, then it will be stuck in my own group of followers.  I totally understand if you don’t have time to read it,or its just Too Much at the time- believe me, I’ve been there.  But still, you can reblog!!!!  Tag it to read later, or something like that.  you dont have to read it even.  I love getting my shit out to AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE.  Even if you don’t think you would like it, maybe a follower would.  it doesnt take that long, and it makes a huge difference to me and other content creators.  Everytime i see a reblog, i fucking grin like im insane. I just think about how many people will be able to see it, how many more people will get to read my writing.  There’s always the queue function if you feel like you’ve been spamming too.  Seriously.  You have no idea how much it means, especially to smaller blogs like mine.  This also applies to kudos on ao3.  they really make writers feel good!!!

Also- please fucking comment.  It’s definetly not mandatory.  I get it if you’re having a bad day, and you just cant comment.  I get that.  But, if you can, please do.  You dont have to give me some detailed analysis or anything.  Even a keysmash makes us SO FUCKING HAPPY.  Everytime I see a comment, i grin because I know that someone genuinely enjoyed my fic.  I know they aren’t just rebloggig out of pity or anything.  When i feel sad, or like i should stop writing, i go back and look through all my fics comments.  It helps so much.  believe me, even if its in the tags, i read it.  Every single word, i fucking treasure.  It means so much to me.   Obviously, there is no pressuer, but if you have the time, please do.  Anything is apreciated so much.  

Anyways, thats all, please rb shit, please comment, please spread our creations, I know it seems like a small, meaningless thing, but you are making a HUGE difference.  This applies to all creative content, but I focused on writing because I primarily write, and writers get the least amount of recognition.  

please feel free to add on, but please if you feel otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself, i dont have enough energy or braincells left to argue <3

[nakey-cats-take-bathsss]

Tag Game! Tagged by one of my faves, the ever lovely @stealing-jasons-job

1. Why did you choose your url?

My username is so weird lol I get asked this all the time and I wish I had a better answer but I literally just love videos of those hairless cats taking baths. I also think the word nakey is really funny which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about me. I didn't plan on posting fic when I came up with this name and now I'm too attached to it to change it to something practical or more poetic.

2. Any side blogs?

None currently but there are some old ones lingering around...

Somewhere out in the universe is a hipster blog filled with poetry and short stories about boys who didn't like me back in high school but it is long lost and I have no idea what it is called. It is probably a repurposed to scam people into clicking RayBand Sunglasses links by now. There's also a really really old Dramione fic blog running around somewhere that I used when I wrote in the Harry Potter fandom.

No need to talk about my "fitness" blog that was basically thinly veiled orthorexia

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I think since just before the height of the popularity so like 2010? I fell out of it with everyone else and was really pleasantly surprised to find that people are still hanging around here when I came back two years ago haha

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No. I'm highly impulsive and a terrible planner. If you see posts on here, I am here haha I don't have that kind of foresight.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly I have no idea, I was having a tough time and wanted to write and the rest of this has just been a really happy accident.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's real cute isn't it?! It's so hard to find aesthetic faceless pics with brown skin so I had to take the opportunity. It's just so vibey, isn't it?

7. Why did you choose your header?

Yellow is such a joyful color!

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I'm not very tech savvy I have no clue how to figure this out? It's probably a moodboard of some kind! I'm not big on text posts haha

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I have literally no clue. But I have made sooooo many truly incredible friends on here. I'm infinitely grateful for all of them. Y'all have become such a genuine source of joy and support in my life, I truly cannot express how much you mean to me.

10. How many followers do you have?

982 and I suspect a significant percent of those are porn link accounts and spam because at least one of those follows me a day. Idk what the point of follower counts on here is, but I love all of you, even the Pornbots. This account is also super old so some of them might be dead blogs too.

11. How many people do you follow?

589

and none of you are pornbots and I love y'all even more.

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I've made crackposts?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

I notoriously hate my phone and I have this app that lets you grow a tree if you don't use your screen. It's very cute, I grew 5 peach trees today. But long story short, it's not super often, maybe once a day. I try to check notifications every day though because I do absolutely love interacting with y'all.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Hahahah I wish I was bold enough to do this because I've been tempted to do it more times than I can count but conflict makes me squirm and also cry. I do get intensely annoyed when I see tone-deaf discourse about mixed race people though so I'll always go to bat for that one.

I did lose my shit one time and tagged something as "nakeycats has fucking snapped" which haunts me in my tags to this day and makes me laugh now.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I get it. I mean, I'm not one to tell people what to do and I don't always love the tone it takes on but the general sentiment of it isn't unfounded. There has been a general shift away from reblogging even though it's the only way content gets traction on this site. From a content creation standpoint it's disheartening to put work out there and know that nobody is seeing it. So much love and work goes into writing and it really does suck sometimes. That said, people are going to do what they're going to do, it's not going to stop me from putting work out there.

16. Do you like tag games?

I adore tag games! I love everything about them! Every time I get tagged in one it's like "me? really?" and then I consider us to be besties haha.

17. Do you like ask games?

I really like them and I used to love doing them when we did BWC! Some of the games get hard to keep track of now but this was such a good way to meet people and I'm grateful for it. That said, I LOVE ASKS. If you ever need to vent or rant or tell a joke or chat or practice your emoji usage HMU I'm always down.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Is Tumblr famous still a thing? I would probably just tag my friends in this since they're all famous to me and I'm convinced a lot of them will be famous one day for writing or creating in some way ( @stealing-jasons-job and @queenemori specific point to you in particular)

I will give a special shout-out to @burninghoneyatdusk because I was a massive fan of her writing and then we became mutuals and I was like "omg!! the author of this fic love! A star is following me back!" haha so that was a fun moment when I was first dipping my toes in the fandom and it did feel like someone famous followed me. Also she is rad and very humble considering how talented she is.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I can't even bring myself to have a crush on someone in real life.

Plenty of friend crushes though.

20. No-pressure tags:

@elora-lane . @natassakar . @ninappon . @burninghoneyatdusk . @obviesbellarke . @queenemori . @franklyineedcoffee . @carrieeve . @infp-with-all-the-feelings and anyone else who wants to do it

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.

What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.

Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.

“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.

“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."

"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.

"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?

"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"

"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.

"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.

"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."

"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!

"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.

"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.

He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.

"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.

"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."

She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.

"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."

They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.

They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.

They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.

She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.

"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.

"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.

"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"

"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"

"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"

"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"

The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."

"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.

"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"

She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.

"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.

“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."

She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.

"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.

"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."

"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."

He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.

"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."

"I hate him already." Sy growled.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."

"Wow."

"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."

"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.

"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.

"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."

"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.

"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."

"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.

"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."

Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.

Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy

[tywvin-archive]

guys i know i’m always talking about this but... really, i do think y’all don’t get what creators mean when they complain about no reblogs/only likes or having few notes.

when i joined tumblr, it was a place where you could share everything you created. i made something and was excited to post it here because it meant sharing, it meant getting feedback, it meant other creators reblogging my work (which meant i could discover new people whose creations i loved just by seeing them in my notifications), it meant tags that encouraged me to keep creating and people who saw your creations, liked them, shared them for others to see, and made you want to keep creating and improving your art, your writing, your creativity as a whole.

right now, it feels like i’m making stuff for you to consume and toss away.

i’ve said this again and again, but likes don’t give artists exposure. tumblr was one of the largest platforms for original creators to share their art, for writers to interact with their fandoms; it was a place where you could see your favourite author had reblogged your edit and excitedly written in the tags that you had found the perfect faceclaim for their characters. many of those artists have moved because their art doesn’t get shared anymore.

i know many of you like posts because you genuinely think it’s a great way of letting the creator now you’ve liked their work. but it does nothing for us. a like gets lost in your liked tab and nobody ever sees it again. if you reblog, no matter your number of followers, our post gets shared and discovered by new people.

it’s disheartening to see so many wonderful creators leaving a platform that had catered to them for years because their work is not appreciated anymore.

support creators, reblog their work.

[red-winters]

How do you deal with people constantly saying that abortion is ok because it’s an inconvenience to the mother? Honestly, before turned to Christianity I often felt like I would have had one if I’d been pregnant and I’d had friends who argued that very argument but like... that baby has already started living as an actual human already and their possibilities in life are endless before they are born and now I do think of it as murder - even when I brainwashed myself into thinking I would have done it I always low key felt like I wouldn’t be able to cope with the feeling knowing I’d done that to my child but it’s so hard trying to talk to other people who insist on shoving their views at me (so sorry that was long !)

Dear Anon, 

I’m sorry for the delay in responding to this—I’m often on mobile and I missed the notification for this ask. I hope you see this anyway, wherever you are!

I don’t know how religious you are, but my response is based on my experiences and faith is a big part of that and generally coping with all the bad in the world.

To answer:

It’s disheartening and hurtful to see human life so easily discarded by some, but I can’t let that knowledge beat me down until I’m hopeless or bitter, myself. Burning yourself out won’t help anyone, though I understand where your sorrow comes from. Being firm in your beliefs, but not being malicious or actively unkind to people straddling the line is the only advice I can give when talking to those who disagree with you. 

For those who won’t listen to you, who won’t show you even basic respect and decency? Who know what they’re doing is wrong, but insist on such behavior because it’s convenient for them? Who act so hatefully to anyone who disagrees with them and who refuse to even consider that you’re coming from a place of genuine concern for them? You have to pray. 

Put that energy into prayer, into hoping, into cultivating kindness in yourself, and trust in God that no matter how loud or powerful the pro-abortion factions are, they are so very small compared to God. 

Don’t let the masses and the media brainwash you into thinking it’s okay or into thinking there’s no hope—that’s an important day to day battle to keep fighting, though I understand the temptation to let your peers and the rest of society lull you into a sense of placidity when it comes to abortion. Humans are very social and the people around us, often people we care about and love, affect the way we interact with the world. I’m glad to hear that you’ve turned to Christianity and that, even before then, your sense of right and wrong was calling you away from abortion.

If people are shoving their views at you and are making you soul-weary, I have to remind you that we’re not unstoppable machines full of eternal goodwill. There are going to be bad days, good days, and days in between. The world we live in bombards us with negativity and information all day—that’s not healthy for anyone. 

We’re human and we need support—emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Find people (it can be online, even) who agree with you (but don’t put yourself in a bubble), who will help you fight these battles, who can challenge you to be better and to improve yourself (in all aspects), who can help re-energize you when you’re feeling weary, and take on some of the burden when you need rest. You don’t even need to be close friends from the outset, but simply people who share the same cause and who tackle these problems in a way that helps build you and others up.

Discourse on a lot of topics feel like battles and campaigns these days, so treat them like one. Remember your limits, take care of yourself, and watch your mental and emotional health. If you can’t take talking to such people for a while? Take a break or direct your efforts to something productive, like volunteering or donating or just learning about pro-life organizations that are trying to help people. Pray and spend time fortifying yourself and then do your best to keep talking to people about your beliefs. Don’t let yourself burn out or become a hateful shell of yourself, because then you’ll probably just be adding more fuel to the fire.

P.S.

I don’t know if you’re Catholic or not, but even if you aren’t, I think you’d benefit from reading up on the views/approach to spiritual life of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. 

[bogkeep]

wow okay it's nearly been eight years since i made this post. i deleted the original from my blog a long time ago - not because i don't like this post, but because getting all the notifs were overwhelming and i wanted to know peace again. i looked through the notes for it recently, and i'm surprised to see that it's still going! maybe it's a little silly to write an introspective for a Viral Tumblr Post, but look. we've been through a lot together, the pasta post and i. my mutuals tagged me in pasta themed posts for years. another friend messaged me late at night one day that buzzfeed used a screenshot of my post in one of their "articles". i recontextualized it as an undertale post when undertale happened. to me, it's a relic from a different time.

back in the early year tumblr heydays, most of my followers came from aroace blogging. i think i knew i was aroace before i joined tumblr, but this was the first - and only - place i found a community for it. back then, aromanticism was still heavily tied to asexuality instead of being recognized as its own identity, and asexuality itself was existing in a liminal space of the majority of people never having heard of it, and the discourse against it being "asexuality isn't real!!! what are you, a plant?" rather than the... scorched earth hellscape it became later. the community was small, and it had a lot of earnest silliness, yes, but ALSO a lot of interesting discussions and explorations that i haven't seen a lot of space for since. my contributions were mainly sharing thoughts from my own life, some jokes and doodles, aroace valentine cards, crying a single tear over the lack of representation in media, explaining the identity to people who werent' familiar with it yet... before the pasta post, my most viral aro post was a PSA explaining the concept of amatonormativity. the time was 2014, i think i genuinely taught a lot of people about it, because there weren't many other posts about it yet. yes, it was a little "cringy" and written in 2014 typical tumblr style, but i still stand by it, that's not why i've deleted it from my blog. the reason i deleted it is because 2014 is where the acecourse was starting to take the BAD turn. the vast majority of the notes on that post where sweet, thankful, and excited - but it was also my first brush with people who told me i was wrong, that i was bigoted for making the post, who would reblog it just to laugh at how cringe i was allegedly being. getting notifications on it was getting increasingly stressful, and i was struggling to not spiteread the Mean Blogs - so i deleted it, for the peace of mind and life. november 2014, if i remember correctly (i might not), had the first ever aromantic visibility week on tumblr. it was a bit of a milestone, since aromanticism was always lumped together with asexuality. and it really saddens me so much that this development happened around the same time as being aro and ace was becoming a "cringe" thing. i really hate using the word cringe for this, but i feel like that was the main weapon used against us, you know? i really despise how efficient it was, to make me so ashamed of my own identity when i had been so deeply proud of it before. the insidiousness of it all, seeing people i thought of as friends share those "haha let's laugh at asexuals" posts. i'm getting ahead of myself.

this (maybe first ever) aro week is when i wrote this post. i wrote it as an aro, for aros, to have a little bit of fun, a little bit of levity - being aro doesn't make me heartless, but damn if it's not disheartening to be aro in these conditions sometimes. i never expected it to breach containment! my aro jokes never did before. as it turns out, loving pasta really resonnated with people, so this picked up a lot of notes and got shared by some popular tumblr users at the time. even before the undertalening! me being who i am, i would read All The Tags (thanks xkit i love you). in the middle of all the people making jokes about italians or tagging their blorbos (which i personally find delightful, i was always hoping someone was going to use the post for those "X characters as tumblr screenshots" memes), there were two recurring tags i took note of:

- people who were like "THIS ISNT A JOKE THOUGH!! WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW ROMANTIC LOVE ISN'T THE MOST IMPORTANT KIND OF LOVE!!!"

which, i did! i talked about it a lot! i wrote The post on amatonormativity back then! this is like, the base philosophy of the entire aro community!!! many people are talking about this!! in fact so many people talked about it i figured i could make a joke about it!!! because i needed to laugh about it!!!!

- ... and more heartbreakingly, the people who were like "i wish this wasn't making fun of aro people, i really relate to this post :("

i remember sending many of these people messages that i promise i'm not making fun of the aros, i'm the aros. this is a joke For Us! You Can Enjoy This Joke In Peace, You Are Safe Here My Child.

but it hurts that it was taken that way. i can't control how people read my posts, i can't control how people see me, and i've made my peace with that now. but i don't think that was the issue as much as... well, it was the time where my community was starting to become the butt of the joke. it was the breaking of containment and seeing the post through a different context than the one i had written from. yes, i could go on about how we often assume the worst possible faith from strangers online - but with the way the landscape around the discourse was changing, it wasn't even that much of a stretch to assume. it still makes me so incredibly sad to think about.

i stopped aroace posting after november 2014, i think. so much of my aroace posting came from a place of love and community, from a sense of responsibility, the urge to share my knowledge and experiences. but after getting just enough meanspirited attention to make me feel ashamed and vulnerable about it, i withdrew. it's always been a tough thing to balance - knowing how many online strangers i had helped figure out stuff about themselves or just feel better about themselves, against the need to protect my own thin skinned heart. especially as the environment grew more hostile, and i felt less and less safe among my own circle of internet aquaintances. i always felt bad about it, like i should be helping more, do something to turn the tides, but i was in too much pain of my own.

while i never returned to posting aroace content on the regular myself, i will say this. i am so glad to see how many of us are out here, carrying the torch and talking about how a deep love for pasta can be just as important as romantic love.

I think it’s really important to recognize that romantic love is not better than other types of love!! My love for pasta, for example, is very strong and pure

[acesofspade]

Have some random snippets of my SteelAtom fic. I feel like sharing parts of it!

1.

Syd was four months old when Ray decided to try meeting new people, maybe try dating again. He felt lonely without Anna around, and as much as he loved Syd, she wasn’t the kind of company he wanted. So, with a little prompting from Felicity and Laurel, Ray downloaded a dating app on his phone in hopes of meeting someone. Most of the people Ray matched with fell into one of three categories: the gold-diggers that recognized him as Palmer Tech’s CEO, the people who turned and ran when they found out he had a daughter, and couples looking for a third. It was disheartening, to say the least. Ray had eventually changed his occupation to ‘scientist’, as opposed to businessman, hoping that would deter the gold-diggers somewhat. He’d almost given up, when he received a notification of a new match by the name of Nate.

Nate was cute, his pictures having initially caught Ray’s eye as he was swiping through people. He was also Ray’s age, and a historian at the local museum in Star City. His bio was the right kind of cheesy to make Ray ‘like’ him through the app, though he didn’t expect much of a response. In fact, he’d completely forgotten about Nate until he got the match notification, followed by a greeting message from the man in question.

You have really pretty eyes the initial message read, which made Ray blush. As he went to type out a response, another came in quickly afterwards, which made Ray chuckle slightly.

Sorry, that was a weird opening line. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty they are.

Ray was amused by the guy’s opening messages, shifting Syd onto his chest while he was lying on his living room couch so he could type out a message.

Thank you. Though I don’t think my eyes are as pretty as your smile he sent back, hoping that wasn’t too cheesy. Nate did have a really nice smile in his pictures, one that Ray kinda would love to see in person.

2.

“Alright Palmer, let me at your closet,” was the first thing Sara said when he’d opened the door to let her in, a determined smirk on her face. “Can’t have my fellow queer looking like he’s straight on a first date,” she teased as she entered the house.

“I don’t know if it’s a date!” Ray huffed in defence, heading for his bedroom. “He just asked if I wanted to get coffee when we met at the museum yesterday.”

“Ray, buddy, it’s definitely a date,” Sara shook her head with an amused chuckle. “You two met on a dating app, and from what you’ve told Felicity and Laurel, you really like this guy, and from what Felicity’s told me, he really likes you. So just call it a date, dammit,” she reasoned, lightly elbowing him in the side at the last remark.

“I’m just scared I’ll mess this up, whatever it is,” Ray admitted. “I have a bad track record with relationships. Felicity and I didn’t work out, I was going to marry Anna, not to mention whatever the Hell went down in college with Nora Darhk,” he rambled, sitting on his bed as Sara began riffling through his closet. “Relationships and I don’t work out very well, and on top of that, I haven’t dated a guy since Al Pratt in high school.”

“Relax, Ray,” Sara called from the closet, surfacing with a few pairs of jeans and some of Ray’s more casual sweaters. “Don’t psych yourself out. Take a few deep breaths, calm yourself down. Now, tell me what you like about this guy.”

“He’s really cute,” Ray began, laying backwards with his feet still on the floor. “Amazing smile, beautiful eyes. He’s also brilliant, one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, and yes, I’m including Felicity in that. He’s one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve ever met too. He was answering questions from little kids at the museum yesterday with a softness I didn’t expect from him, and most importantly, he isn’t freaked out that I have a daughter,” he rambled, hands fidgeting above his chest as he stared at the ceiling.

“If he’s such a good guy, it sounds like you have nothing to worry about Ray,” Sara assured him, draping a pair of jeans and a simple maroon sweater over his hands to stop him from fidgeting. “Just be yourself, maybe get laid for the first time in six months. Who knows?”

“Sara!” Ray spluttered, bolting into a sitting position as the clothes she’d just given him fell onto the bed.

“I’m kidding,” Sara laughed, smirking faintly. “I know you’re too much of a gentleman to put out on the first date. Now, get changed and go on your date. I expect details afterwards, you hear me?”

3.

Ray was a little bit in love with Nate Heywood. Okay, he was a lot in love with Nate Heywood. What wasn’t there to love about the man? Ray couldn’t find anything that wasn’t endearing or lovable about the historian. After their first coffee date, they talked on the phone a lot more through calls, Ray often leaving the phone on speaker while he was in his lab so he could talk to Nate while he was working. Sometimes, he’d call Nate at night, after he’d put Syd to bed, just to talk about their days at work. He wasn’t entirely sure if they were actually dating or not, but he found he really wished they were.

4. 

They worked in companionable silence for a while, until Nate placed a tray in the oven and set a timer for an hour. Once that was in, he turned to Ray with a brilliant smile that made Ray’s chest warm up.

“So, what should we do for an hour?” he asked curiously. Syd had been put down for a nap once Ray finished cutting the vegetables, so she wouldn’t need to be worried about for at least a few more hours.

“What do you suggest?” Ray countered, though he had a few ideas. Only some of them were above PG-13 rating, thank you very much. He’d love to do anything with Nate though, truth be told. Even if it was boring, as long as he was doing it with Nate, he’d enjoy it.

Nate was silent, a contemplative look on his face. He took a few steps closer to Ray, pinning his back against the kitchen’s island, and oh, Ray hoped he knew where this was going. He was proved right when he felt one of Nate’s hands cradling his jaw, the other resting on the small of Ray’s back as he pulled the taller man down for a kiss. Ray’s hands went to Nate’s hips as he returned the kiss, both sets of eyes sliding closed as they enjoyed the kiss.