#it fit on the pan without cutting it

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Chaotic Pizza Chat

Buck: This is what I fear when you make pizza, Eds

*tweet of pizza sitting directly on the oven rack imploding and looking like a mushroom cloud*

Bobby: Don’t put it directly on the rack Jesus

Buck: 😂😂😂

Eddie: 😬

Tbh I fear that too

Hen: You can!!!! Prevent it!!!

Bobby emphasized Hen’s message.

Hen: ?????

Eddie: But the bottom! Won’t be crispy enough!

Also my pizzas don’t fit on the pans

Buck: Flip the pan over!!

Eddie: Your weird little rectangular pizzas do but my circular ones don’t

Buck: Use the other side and then the whole bottom won’t fall out

Eddie replied to Buck’s message ( Flip the pan over!! ) *sends blinking meme*

Buck: Or, consider, buy yourself one of these bad boys

*sends link to pizza stone*

Hen: get a pizza stone

Eddie: Where would we store that 😭😭😭

Chim laughed at Eddie’s message.

Buck replied to Eddie’s message (blinking meme): Lol have you never done that 😂?

Eddie: Not once in my life, no

Bobby: You store it with the pans

Eddie: Flip the pan over??? wtf

Hen: Where else would you store a pizza stone

Chim laughed at Hen’s message.

Buck: We have a few fully empty cabinets 😂. In Inconvenient spots, sure, but it’s not a commonly used item lol

Bobby: You don’t have to get one with handles so it doesn’t take up as much space

Ravi: This is a chaotic chat right now 😂😂😂

Eddie: If you mean the one above the fridge, you can fuck off 😂😂😂

Hen: Get a step stool

Eddie: We have two lmao

Chim: Grow taller

Buck laughed at Chim’s message.

Eddie disliked Chim’s message.

Buck: One above the fridge, one below the stove 😂😂😂

Chim: Keep some kitchen heels at the ready

Eddie: Oh I don’t trust the one below the stove, absolutely not

Buck: Also as Bobby said, with the normal pans 😂😂😂

Chim: on top of the refrigerator

Buck: You say that like the bare oven rack is significantly cleaner 😂

Chim: In your room

Eddie: No no no that bottom drawer is nasty have you opened it recently??

Also it’s weirdly small? I think?

Chim: Right I know you’re cooking it but dude how old is that oven and food that is going inside it is just raw dogging it

Eddie: 🤷🏼‍♀️ have literally never once thought about that in my life tbh

Buck: No so I have no recollection of what it looks like 😂

Buck: Raw dogging it 😂😂😂😂

That just made me laugh so

Chim: Good I’m glad because brain fog made it really hard to remember that phrase

Hen laughed at Chim’s message.

Chim: The other option was bare assing it

Eddie: Well ya nailed it, so a plus

Buck: You nailed it so hard I had to explain it to my cap in our side chat 🤣🤣🤣

Ravi: just to circle back

To flip the pan over

There’s a Reddit thread that agrees with Buck

Eddie: Good for Buck 👍🏻

Ravi: Though the rigidity advice seems important to note

Buck: I’ve only used this method once for something I can’t really remember. But it wasn’t pizza 😂

Eddie: Also our pans pop and my actual fear is the pizza being awkwardly launched right to the bottom of the oven

Buck: I was just brainstorming for you. I didn’t say this was a perfect solution 😂

Eddie: I have put a pan on the rack below the pizza before

Bobby replied to Eddie: this hurts my soul, just put it on some parchment paper

Ravi: The other advice for you in this thread: *photo of round pizza cut in half to fit on a pan*

Eddie: Lololol I can imagine trying to cut a frozen pizza in half and it just shattering 😭😭😭

Eddie: But i feel like if I bought, like, a fancy frozen pizza that wasn’t thin crust, that could be genius

Chim: Idk that looks like a thin crust pizza example for you 😂

Hen: If you look closely you can see “thin” on the underlying box 🕵🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

Buck: But your pizza has shattered before so lol

Bobby replied to Buck: WTF

Eddie: Right but that’s target brand

I don’t fuckin trust the giant store brand 😂😂😂 Lolol do you tho???

Buck: Lmao no less than any other pizza probably

Buck: @Bobby Eddie dropped it on the ground

Eddie: Whole thing shattered

And I feel like something similar would happen if you tried to cut it while it was still frozen

Chim: Can’t know unless you try

Ravi: please send a video when you try

Buck, 10 minutes later: The funniest thing to me in this

Is that several of you lived with me and Eddie for like six months in a space that absolutely was not meant for four grown adults never saw him commit this food crime 😂

Hen: To be fair I did my level best to avoid perceiving any of you when we weren’t working. I love you, but that’s way too much time to spend with people you’re not married to

Chim, at the exact same time: we can’t all pay as much attention to Eddie as you, Buck

Ravi: ☠️

Hen: yeah... yeah. Mostly that

Inspired by a real life conversation with my roommates and this tweet:

https://x.com/superloafcat/status/1737541460524700083?s=46&t=2TrTjov11H9w1pzmJGEYpw

Written for/with @professionalprocrastinator22 and our concerns about food crimes committed by @gravelyhalversobbing EXPOSING YOU

[foxmulderautism]

autistic boys when they realise the egg theyre eating feels like Egg

[headkiss]

I LOVE the idea of protective Hotch constantly having an eye out for younger bau!agent who’s literally sunshine personified and the complete opposite of him!! Do u think u could write something along the lines of that—maybe him protecting her from something or just their dynamic?

i also love protective hotch!!! tysm for the request i hope u like it baby :D | 1k of fluff, tw for a small burn!

You’d been surprised when you got a job at the BAU. You didn’t have that much faith in yourself at first. Not to say you don’t believe in your skills, but it’s a widely known part of the bureau. A lot of people wanted the job.

And then, there’s Agent Hotchner, unit chief and intimidating though you’re sure he doesn’t mean to be. You were insanely nervous at the beginning.

That was before you started, before the team welcomed you as the new media liaison after Agent Jareau became a profiler. You met Garcia and her collection of fun high heels, Reid and his never ending supply of facts, and you sort of fit right in.

Hotch became much less intimidating. A kind man who cares so deeply for his team that you couldn’t help but like him the way you do. Not to mention the dynamic that built between the two of you.

The small things he does for you that are impossible to ignore. A hand covering the edge of your desk to protect your head when you were searching underneath it for a dropped paper clip, the way he physically places himself between you and danger if he ever gets the chance.

He’s always there, protecting you in ways both big and little, and you enjoy it more than you should.

It’s even brighter on nights like tonight. Drinks and snacks at Penelope’s after a tough case. Nights when you get to call him Aaron instead of Hotch, when he smiles and laughs freely without restraint.

The beep of the oven cuts off yours and Garcia’s conversation, and when she shifts to take care of it, you stop her, “I got it! You’re already hosting, just relax a little.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, squeezing your arm as you walk by.

The smell of food in the oven hits your nose as you walk into the kitchen, humming along to whatever song spills through the speakers.

You pull the oven open, reaching in without thinking and touching the pan with your bare hand. You drop it quickly, metal clanking as it falls back onto the rack in the oven.

“Shit!” You say it loudly, and then, even louder, addressing the team in the next room, “I’m okay!”

They all laugh a little at your reassurance, and then, like they know he wouldn’t let anyone else check on you before him, pretty much every set of eyes in the room lands on Hotch.

He shakes his head and heads to the kitchen, because he would’ve gone either way.

“You okay?” He asks, finding you with an oven mitt on your non-burnt hand, reaching into the oven, and your burnt hand shaking by your side.

“Oh!” You set the pan of nachos on top of the stove and slip off the mitt, turning off the oven and looking at Hotch. “I forgot oven mitts were a thing for a second there. Burnt my hand, I think.”

He’s on you in a second, his hands gently grasping your injured arm, pushing back your sleeve and guiding you over to the sink. His hold is light, never bruising even though you know he has the strength to do so.

It’s the kiss of sunlight on skin.

Aaron turns on the sink, places his fingers under the water to make sure the temperature’s okay before guiding your hand under the stream.

“You still took out the nachos first?” He asks, even when he knows that’s what you’d do, because of course you’re worrying about everyone else before yourself.

“I didn’t want them to burn.”

You’re trying to be brave, though your hand hurts so much there are tears misting your eyes. You’re bouncing on your feet a little to try and deal with the pain.

“How bad does it hurt?” Hotch checks.

Aaron’s felt this sort of protectiveness over you ever since you started. A little younger than him, this ball of light that’s come bursting into his life. You’re always the positive one, even in the darkest situations and he can’t help but want to shield you to keep it that way.

There’s this thing in his chest that tugs and tugs when you’re around, that makes him stand next to you in any room, in front of you in darkness.

“It’s okay,” you say, though your voice cracks a little. “I’m sure you’ve seen much worse, Hotch.”

“Aaron,” he reminds you gently, “and you don’t have to pretend. It’s alright if it hurts, I just wanna help.”

The sink running mingles with the music coming from the next room, the background noise to your moment with him.

“You could bring the nachos out? I told Garcia I would, but we see how that turned out.”

“Okay, I'll bring them out.”

“Don’t forget oven mitts!”

He huffs with a smile, somehow always surprised with how easily you can turn something around. A smile on your face even with tears shining in your eyes and a hand that’s surely stinging.

Aaron carries the tray of nachos and drops them off, then turns to Penelope, “you have a first aid kit?”

“Oh my gosh! Yeah, bathroom cabinet, I can grab it.”

“It’s alright, Garcia. I’ll get it.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Don’t worry. Nothing major, I’m taking care of it.”

He grabs the first aid kit and heads back to the kitchen where you’re still holding your hand under the stream of water.

“Okay,” Aaron sets the kit down on the counter, opening it and then turning off the tap. “Let me see, honey.”

The word melts into you, sticky sweet, and you hold your hand towards him, palm up.

He starts by drying your hand with a piece of paper towel, pressing your skin lightly. His other hand is under yours, his palm against the back of your hand a painkiller in itself.

You hiss when he hits a sensitive spot, and he’s quick to apologize, his voice low and quiet. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Almost done.”

“It’s okay, Aaron. It's not your fault I thought I was heat-proof.”

“You’re cute.”

A smile spreads over your face, your head tilted down to stare and his hands around yours. You watch him spread some Polysporin over your burn, his fingertips featherlight over your skin, soft apologies leaving him every time you flinch a little.

By the time he’s done, the first aid kit shut on the counter, you’ve both forgotten about the rest of the team in the next room. Aaron’s happy to bask in your sunshine.

[gogopri]

Visual Novels, Sprite Crops, and You

Ridiculously specific thing I'm thinking about (and this is in really broad strokes and will segue later) but something I've noticed is that English Visual Novels tend to have their character sprites cut off around the knees more than I usually see in Japanese VNs, where they'll cut off around the hips or waist (unless characters are supposed to be explicitly standing further away.)

(Screenshots from Hustle Cat, Dream Daddy, and Growing Up's Steam pages)

(Screenshots from Little Busters, Aokana, and White Album's Steam pages)

Obviously this is a huge oversimplification. I've seen lots of EVNs that have sprite crop at the hips or thighs and vice versa.

But I think there's interesting presentation benefits to both methods.

If you crop at the knees, you can see more of the character designs, and probably fit more characters onscreen without it feeling as cramped. That would be useful for third person games, where you'll probably have more than one character on-screen for most of the game, if you decide your main character should have their own sprite when they talk.

The hips method, on the other hand, could make the speaking character feel closer to the camera/an invisible first-person protagonist. I think that could promote a more "intimate" feeling, which could be desirable in romance games.

It also never hurts to experiment with visuals that zoom in and out on the sprites, with varying crops.

(Screenshots from Muv-Luv's VNDB page)

For example, I think Muv-Luv looks fantastic. It positions the characters on a sort of 3D plane, and I remember it having small camera pans. It's useful for immersion, even before it begins showing action sequences. I know it's taxing to direct, but I've always wished more VNs looked like Muv-Luv. It's also a game from 2003, which makes it doubly impressive.

I've heard minori titles like Supipara and eden*, or Type-Moon titles like Mahoutsukai no Yoru or the Tsukihime remake are also a cut above the rest in how "cinematic" they feel, but I have less familiarity with those games (although I'm planning to play them in the future). I'm also running low on space in the post to add many more pictures, and expressing the focus on "movement" in more cinematic VNs is difficult to do with still images.

I don't really have a point to end on, these are just some assorted visual novel thoughts.

[burningred1989]

EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

A/N: Final part of “A Budding Connection”

“Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you.”

PART 1: A Budding Connection

PART 2: The Shift

P ART 3: Bridges to Mend

PART 4: Cracks in the Wall

PART 5: The Contract Ends

MASTERLIST

<<<<<

Years after their heart-wrenching breakup, Y/N and Harry lived their lives apart, both navigating stardom with aching hearts. Though the world saw them as two separate entities, fans knew better. Their music told the story of a love that refused to die, lingering in the silences between the notes and the longing woven into their lyrics.

<<<<<

"Every breath you take, every move you make..."

The applause echoed throughout the room as Y/N’s name was announced as the winner of *Album of the Year*. Dressed in an elegant gown, she gracefully made her way to the stage, clutching her award tightly. The cameras panned to Harry, seated in the audience, clapping harder than anyone else. His green eyes sparkled with pride, but there was something deeper—a longing, an ache that hadn’t faded over the years.

"Every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you."

As Y/N delivered her speech, she thanked her team, her fans, and her family. Her voice was steady, but her hands trembled slightly. Then, as she concluded, her gaze scanned the room until it landed on Harry. For a moment, time seemed to stop. Her lips curled into a small, shy smile—her nose scrunching in that way Harry used to adore.

Harry’s heart clenched. He returned the smile, his pride unmistakable, though his eyes revealed the silent pain of knowing he could never be part of her life again.

<<<<<

"Since you've gone, I've been lost without a trace”

A year later, Harry’s name boomed through the speakers as he was awarded *Album of the Year*. The audience erupted in applause, but it was Y/N’s reaction that captured everyone’s attention. She rose to her feet immediately, clapping enthusiastically, her face glowing with pride.

“I dream at night, I can only see your face..."

As Harry walked to the stage, his eyes darted toward Y/N. She stood in the front row, her hands clasped together in front of her chest. Her gaze was locked on him, her expression soft and warm, as though she was silently cheering him on.

“I look around, but it's you I can't replace..."

When Harry began his speech, his voice was steady, but his emotions were barely contained. He spoke about the importance of connection and love in his music, his voice faltering slightly when he mentioned how loss shapes the art we create. Y/N’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she nodded gently, understanding his words on a level no one else could.

As the cameras panned back to Y/N, her proud expression lit up the room. But for Harry, her look was more than that. It was a quiet acknowledgment of everything they’d shared, everything that still lingered between them.

<<<<<

“Oh can’t you see, you belong to me. How my poor heart aches, every step you take”

The internet exploded. Fans dissected every moment from both Grammy nights, piecing together the silent story unfolding between Harry and Y/N. Edits began circulating, their interactions paired with the hauntingly fitting lyrics of "Every Breath You Take" by The Police.

The first scene showed Harry clapping with longing eyes as Y/N walked to the stage, her radiant smile lighting up the room. The second scene cut to Y/N standing proudly, her hands clasped in front of her, watching Harry accept his award. With the text in front—“I’ll be watching you”

<<<<<

"Every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I'll be watching you."

Clips of their stolen glances and subtle smiles were seamlessly paired with the lyrics. Fans couldn’t stop talking:

- *"The way he looks at her—he’s still in love."*

- *"Y/N’s smile when she saw him on stage… my heart!"*

- *"This edit with ‘Every Breath You Take’ is so hauntingly beautiful. It’s like they’re still watching over each other."*

<<<<<

“Every single day, every word you say..."

Harry and Y/N returned to their separate lives, but the echoes of their love remained. Fans scoured their music for hints of each other, piecing together lyrics that spoke of heartbreak, longing, and quiet admiration. Their love, though lost, was immortalized in their art.

"I'll be watching you."

Neither Harry nor Y/N ever acknowledged the Grammy interactions or the viral edits, but they didn’t need to. The connection was still there, unspoken yet undeniable, like a melody that never fades. And as the years went by, the world continued to watch their story unfold—two hearts forever linked, even in their distance.

A/N: Thank you for reading!! <33

[woso-dreamzzz]

Breakfast

Ellie Carpenter x Daniëlle van de Donk x Child!Reader

Summary: Ellie's in your house again

"Ellie," You say," What are you doing?"

She swears, jumping out of her skin and dropping the frying pan to the ground. "Jesus Christ," She gasps in her stupid accent," What are you doing here, kiddo?"

"This is my house," You reply," What are you doing here?"

Ellie's your Mamma's new girlfriend. Before her was Beth when you lived in England and now that you're in France, it's Ellie. You don't really know how you feel about Ellie just yet.

She makes Mamma happy, that's true, but she's in your house too often for your liking and the sting of Mamma's breakup with Beth is still a little too fresh in your mind.

"I slept round," Ellie says, bending to pick up the dropped frying pan and place it on the stove," And now I'm making breakfast."

You stare at her in suspicion before nodding. "Cool," You say," I'm going to see Mamma."

Ellie catches your arm before you can leave and you frown at her.

"Daan's still asleep," She says," Don't wake her up, kid."

Mamma always tells you not to do exactly what other people say without getting something out of it yourself so you cross your arms over your chest.

"What do I get if I don't?"

Ellie groans and you pull your arm away and take a firm step towards Mamma's closed door.

"Hey! No, wait! Wait! I'll...er...You like pancakes? I can make you pancakes."

You think about it for a minute.

"With syrup?"

"With syrup."

"Okay."

You hopped up onto one of the seats at the kitchen island and waited, just staring.

It was clear that Ellie didn't really know what to do with you. She had never really interacted with you on her own. You were Daan's kid and she was Daan's new girlfriend. It was only right that you seemed a little aloof around her.

You were older now than Ellie knew you were when you had interacted with Daan's previous girlfriends. You had your own opinions now and, clearly, one of these opinions was that you didn't really enjoy this veritable stranger in your house.

"Is it hot all the time in Australia?" You ask suddenly.

Ellie begins to mix her batter. "No, not always. It gets cold in the winter like everywhere else."

You made a noncommittal noise and reached out for some of the fruit in the fruit bowl. "Did you have a girlfriend before my Mamma?"

"I did."

"But Mamma's better." It wasn't a question and you bite into your apple as you kick your legs in boredom, sparing a look back at Mamma's closed door.

"Er...yeah," Ellie replies, finally putting the first of her batter into the pan," I guess you can put it like that. Me and your Mamma just fit better."

"Mamma and Beth used to fit," You say," Before we left and they argued. I'm not Beth's baby so they can't share me like my friends who have divorced parents get shared."

Ellie doesn't quite know how to respond to that as she plates up a pile of pancakes for you and a pile of pancakes for Daan.

"Mamma and Beth argued and argued and I never got to see them because they didn't like letting me see them angry. People who used to fit don't always end up fitting properly."

"I-I'm not trying to take Daan from you," Ellie says eventually. She's not looking at you but she's stopped plating up food to talk. "Look, kiddo, I'm dating your Mamma. And I don't plan on breaking up anytime soon." She turns around to look at you. "I understand that this is new to you and you're probably still a little hung up about Mead but I'm not going anywhere and neither of you. Can we just coexist?"

You stare at her for a moment before standing. You're not very tall for your age but it doesn't stop you from walking like your Ellie's height, sidling up next to her and scraping the pancakes meant for Daan onto your plate.

"Mamma doesn't like pancakes for breakfast," You tell Ellie," She has gross yoghurt and oats and some cut-up fruit." You reach for the squeezy bottle of syrup. "It's in the fridge."

Ellie looks at you in disbelief. You've somehow smuggled all of the pancakes onto your plate even though it was meant to be split between you and Daan.

"She likes the chocolate protein shake better than the mango one!" You also repeat before scampering off to wait by Daan's door.

You don't enter without Ellie but once she opens the door, you've bolted over to Daan.

"I was nice," You announce to your Mamma, who sits up in bed wide awake and looking like she had been for a while now," Promise."

Ellie slides back into bed on your other side, forcing you in the middle of them as she passes Daan her breakfast bowl. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to catch y/n watching you from the hallway," Daan replies," And long enough to send her in to bond with you."

"Didn't bond," You insist through a mouthful of food," Just talked."

Daan smiles fondly at you, collecting some of the syrup from your plate with a finger and sticking it into her mouth. "Of course," She says," Because you're too cool to bond with your Mamma's new girlfriend."

You shrug but then quietly admit," Ellie made me pancakes. I guess she's kind of cool sometimes."

For some reason, that makes Ellie feel more proud and triumphant than any Champion's League medal ever could. She feels smug which Daan definitely spots from the way that she rolls her eyes.

"Cool enough to join us at the park today?"

You begrudgingly sigh. "Yeah, I guess so."

[crystallizedtwilight]

🎃 LSBC Questions: Part 20! 🎃

Lock, Shock, Barrel, and Calliope questions that call for quick answers will be under the cut in batches of 10-15 🧡

Previous bulk questions batch

She wants to adopt every dog she meets honestly 🥹

If Oogie was in a gambling mood it usually wasn't a good thing.

Something equal parts dangerous and hilarious apparently! [x]

They already have their skincare routines down!

There's a couple of those in the lb tag 😚 Barrel is very romantic and Lock loves to be showered with affection as long as it's in private.

Thank you! And yes! They do prank each other on occasion. Gotta keep each other sharp! [1] [2] [3]

He did at first (and was too "cool" to tell anyone) but now he's an expert at capturing them.

Mike Cachuela, who helped design the trio, stated how he spoke with Henry Selik, the director of the movie, about who the trio could be. The initial concept was that that they were tasked with keeping Oogie Boogie imprisoned and feeding him bugs. However, this concept was later changed so the trio would be Oogie's henchmen instead.

No, all three of them love their natural hair colors! (Which, lucky, I've been dying my own hair for 10 years lol)

She gets up, makes herself some tea, and reads her potion book to clear her mind. If that's not enough, she'll go for a flight.

No. I'm aware he returns in several spinoffs—Oogie's Revenge, Kingdom Hearts II, one of the novels—but this AU uses the movie as the sole source material. Resurrecting Oogie is an easy way to reintroduce peril and doesn't require writers to explore who the trio are without him. That separation, freedom, happiness, and concept of the trio stepping into their own identities is exactly what I want to explore!

(Zero's Journey is my favorite tnbc book because the trio are shown carrying on happily without Oogie for once and I love that!)

❗️[SENSITIVE: TOPICS OF ABUSE]

The trio state that they believe they will be harmed for failure / displeasing Oogie across multiple media:

____

"We can't say, the boss'll whomp us if we do!" (whomp, verb: to strike heavily) - Lock [source: game, The Pumpkin King]

The trio tremble visibly at Oogie's feet, holding onto each other as he reveals his plans. [source: game, Kingdom Hearts I]

In an interview Stephen mentions that, out of the three of them, Oogie might be meanest towards Lock or treat him the worst. [source: Stephen Buckley, one of the main animators on the movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas]

"If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town." / "We do our best to please him and stay on his good side." - Lock, Shock [source: movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas]

"Jack will beat us black and green." - Lock, Shock [source: movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas] Through Jack has never shown himself to be physically violent, the trio assume all authority figures show their displeasure in this way.

"Don't hurt us, Jack! She's with Oogie!" - Lock [source: game, The Pumpkin King]

"'Stead of treated we get tricked. 'Stead of kisses we get kicked!" [source: stage performance, 2003 Disneyland "Haunted Mansion Holiday" wherein the trio perform an excerpt of "Hard Knock Life"]

"Looks like my no-good henchmen thought they'd cool their heels in Halloween Town 'stead of helpin' the boss man do his job...well, I can decide which of 'em I want to eat later." - Oogie Boogie [source: game, Disney Magic Kingdoms]

The camera pans out, displaying the masks of several previously devoured trick-or-treaters on the treehouse walls. None of these fit the trio's faces, revealing that Oogie has eaten several children in the past. [source: movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas]

[zvdvdlvr]

Okay but hear me out Hotch's love language is acts of service. That man is a caregiver and maybe I'm projecting because I'm currently taking care of my own stitches but like if you were hurt in the field and got cut by a knife or something he would absolutely go out of his way to clean your wound and rebandage you as needed. Or like if you burnt your hand grabbing a hot pan or something while you guys were making dinner 🥲 he's just so soft

Yes. Absolutely. This is literally him.

Aaron’s always gonna blame himself, no matter if it really is his fault or not; so taking care of you in any way, shape, or form is always gonna be an opportunity Aaron will take.

Even if you aren’t dating Aaron still wants to help patch you up because thats just the kinda guy he is :))

im giggling thinking about being in a relationship woth Hotch and him sitting you down to rewrap a bandage, put vaseline or aquaphor on your stitches, or even putting ointment on a burn.

Boyfriend!Hotch fawning over tou after you burn yourself making dinner for you, him, and Jack!!!!!!! He would undoubtedly drop everything and run over after hearing you hiss in pain and cuss quietly (he admires how you try not to cuss in fromt of Jack). “Oh, honey,” he’d coo and pull you over to the sink. I NEED HIM TO CALL ME ‘HONEY’, YOUR HONOR.

Can you imagine him kissing the bandage too after you cracked a joke about him kissing Jack’s boo-boos?? 😥😥 i actually need him.

OKOKOKOK

imagine you just got cut by an unsub:

It wasn’t Hotch’s fault, no matter how much you tried to reassure him as the medics stitched up the admittedly deep cut on your thigh.

The unsub, you tried to reason with him, was just a hunter with very good aim and a warped mind. But Hotch wouldn’t have it. He literally wrapped your arm over his shoulder so he could walk you out to the medics, paced on the ground outside the ambulance, and refused to let you drive to the plane and hotel without him.

So that’s where you are now: opening your door for Hotch and Jack to enter your house.

“Hi, y/n!” Jack greeted, throwing himself out to hug y/n’s legs. You patted his back and ran a hand through his hair.

“Hey kiddo,” you greeted, trying to hide the wince on your face before Aaron saw.

But he did. “I, uh, told Jack you got hurt and he… decided he would throw a fit until he came to make sure you weren’t sad.”

That made you smile; yeah, Hotch, blamd it on Jack. “You’re the sweetest, Jackie-boy. No way any one could be sad around you,” you practically sang, picking the boy up. “Come in, Hotch. I see that first-aid kit you have.”

Hotch pretended not to see the way you favored your uninjured leg over the other when you set Jack on the couch, already knowing what movie he wanted to watch.

“Hey,” you said finally, “Jack’s watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier.” You took a seat at the table.

“He was excited about coming to see you,” Aaron admits. “He told me that you’re his favorite because you ‘like Captain America, always have candy, and make sure he’s never sad’, according to him.”

You laugh a little, but your heart is swollen up in your chest like a balloon. You’re Jack’s favorite? “So… tell me why you’re really here, Hotch.”

“Aaron.”

You pause, seeing Hotch’s eye contact falter. “What?”

“You can call me Aaron. We aren’t at the office, so I don’t see a problem in you calling me Aaron. And my son is on your couch, so…” He trails off, a smile pulling at his lips.

You think you can feel little a butterfly volcano erupt in your stomach. You’re hot boss is smiling at you. Inside your house. “So,” you start again, voice quieter this time, “why are you here, Aaron?” You want to scream. Hotch’s name on your tongue felt foreign but you really wanted to get used to calling him by his first name.

“I wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself after getting,” he paused, thinking of the blood staining your pants when he first saw you, “cut up by the unsub.”

“If you want me to take my pants off, you just have to ask,” you scoffed, tugging down your sweatpants to reveal a bloodied bandage wrapped in gauze. Your shirt was oversized, falling to just above the end of the gauze. “I changed the wrap a couple hours ago, but I got bored and moved some stuff around and it probably started bleeding,” you explained, watching Aaron pull set your leg on the chair he was sitting in to rewrap your injury.

“Y-This is okay?” He asked, large hands hovering directly over your skin.

After nodding, you swallowed as you watched Aaron carefully unwrapped the thin gauze and inspected the dark red patterns staining the bandage.

He doesn’t say a word as he rips the bandage off, not saying a word when he feels your hand fly to his shoulder for support- something that makes him flush a little.

“Aaron, I can do it mysel-“

“Let me take care of you,” he interrupts, looking up at you with those puppy dog eyes that he does so well and you know you’d listen to him if he told you to rip your heart out of your chest and give it to him just because he’s got you wrapped around his pinkie.

“Okay.”

Despite the movie in the background, you both fall into silence; afraid to break the silence.

He had to admit, Aaron hadn’t felt so giddy in a while. Even here, on his knees in your home, Aaron found himself once again questioning if he wanted to make a move. He felt you squeeze his shoulder a little as he dabbed some cold ointment on the stitches but he wanted to feel your hands on him. Rewrapping the bandage would be the awkward part: having to get his hands very close to your sex.

“Do you want to do it?” Aaron asked.

“I think you should. I might mess it up or something,” you shrug, clearly lying. But Aaron wanted you to lie.

So carefully, gingerly, Aaron wrapped the guaze over the bandage, hands gliding over your thigh to make sure the thin material would stay.

“Done,” he announced. “Does it feel okay? Not too tight? Too loose?” He asked.

“Perfect.”

He looked up at you. “y/n?”

“I think… my thigh’s a little sore. You uh, might need to kiss my boo-boo to make sure I feel better.”

A sly smile grew on Aaron’s face while he watched your face turn red and you avoiding eye contact.

So Aaron leaned over and pressed his lips to the sterile gauze, kissing the material covering your skin.

The butterfly volcano had successfully self destructed, making every body part possible buzz at the sight of Aaron leaning over you.

[scleroticstatue]

Feminine Plots

Okay, I've been thinking A Lot about basic plot types and how classically feminine stories fit into neither the traditional (masculine) archetypes nor the traditional plots. After a lot of studying the major plot beats, I think all female-led stories* fall into one of seven plots. I'm using Disney movies to demonstrate this because just about everyone has seen them, but I think you could apply these to just about any feminine-based story.*

So, without further ado:

The Hard Work Plot: The heroine of this story is a hard worker and is tested by the plot to prove her kindness and generosity. If she passes the test, she wins and is rewarded for it. This is the basic plot of Snow White, Cinderella, and Tiana/Princess and the Frog.**

The Beast Taming Plot: The heroine of this story is put in a situation where she meets a monster, learns to understand it (usually through a heightened state of empathy), and then tames it to become socially acceptable for the norms of society, often ending the story by using the tamed monster to defeat a more villainous character who has been accepted by society. This is the plot of Belle/Beauty and the Beast, Moana, Jane/Tarzan, and Lilo/Lilo & Stitch.

The Transformstion Plot: The heroine meets an outsider who is threatening her home/family/people, who are stagnating or stifling. She spends time getting to know the person and their culture, and then uses her friendship to transform her own culture into one of flourishing modernity. This is the plot of Ariel/The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, and Jasmine/Aladdin.

The Restoration Plot: The heroine is in a kingdom/household of dwindling power. Her quest is to restore the damaged relationships and undo the evil that caused the kingdom to dwindle. There's a very high chance that the heroine doesn't actually do the restoration herself, rather she makes other characters realize they have responsibilities and duties they haven't fulfilled, who then fix the problem instead of the actual female lead. This is Aurora/Sleeping Beauty, Elsa/Frozen, Mirabel/Encanto, and Nala/The Lion King.

The Balancing Plot: The heroine is proven to be unfit for feminine life and goes on a journey to prove she is capable of fitting in with the guys, only to realize that what she needs to restore peace and joy to her home/kingdom is the very feminity that she rejected. This is Mulan and Merida/Brave.

The Maturing Plot: The heroine is a naive individual who is exposed to the big bad world. Her idealism transforms the big bad world to be softer, but she also realizes there are bad things out there and that are/will take advantage of her if she lets it. In the end, she usually has to fight the bad guy/embrace her duties and responsibilities to save her home. This is Alice/in Wonderland, Wendy/Peter Pan, Giselle/Enchanted, and Rapunzel/Tangled.

The Sacrifice Plot: The heroine has a group that she is some sort of caretaker for (a princess, a lover, a support class). She does something, usually accidentally, that causes her friends to end up in danger, and she has to sacrifice herself to make up for those wrongs and save her people, usually ending up coming back to life because the other leads are so inspired and love her so much they make sure to save her. This is Tinkerbell/Peter Pan, Meg/Hercules, Esmeralda/Hunchback of Notre Dame, Kida/Atlantis, Anna/Frozen.***

EDIT: After workshopping this, I've decided I was missing one which seems almost exclusive to mothers and wives:

The Witnessing: The heroine must prepare another to become a Sacrifice/go to war/fight without her interference, and she has to let go and let them take on the trials of the world. Her plot arc succeeds when the people she's equipped successfully encounter the world without her guidance. This is Mrs. Potts/Beauty, Grandma Tala and Sina (the mom)/Moana, and Grandma Fa/Mulan. It's rare, so there's not a lot of these are protagonists, but it is a legitimate feminine archetype.

Star explanations under the cut.

*I'm being very specific here and talking about stories that are associated with the feminine, not stories that are traditionally associated with males who have then taken on female leads. And, while you can look at these as entire plots, these are also applicable as character arcs. The Lion King, told from Simba's perspective is the classic Call to Adventure. However, from Nala's perspective, she is the Restorer who, after watching her kingdom fall to ruin, has to go find the proper authority, mend his relationship with his father, and then return him to the kingdom to fulfill his responsibilities. While some more modern stories have female leads that don't fit these categories, I would argue they're not trying to appeal to women, but to a general audience and just happen to have a female protagonist, who could easily be swapped out for a male protagonist without changing anything of the story (and that, imo, makes for a very bad story indeed).

**There is a secondary dimension in these stories, which is the staticness or dynamicness of the characters. The classical Hero's Journey features a dynamic protagonist, who is expected to change throughout the run of a story. However, in most female-led media, the lead character is already virtuous and good. She is a static character that is then tested to see if she will fold under pressure. Snow White and Princess and the Frog both feature Hard Work narratives; however, Snow White is a static character who has to prove through a series of trials that she's good hearted and the world won't turn her cynical, while Tiana is a dynamic character who has to grow from cynicism to accept love as a virtue. While it is more traditional of older stories like Grimms' Fairy Tales, the Arthurian mythos, or Classic-era novels, static protagonists have almost entirely died out in favor of the Hero's Journey dynamicness. However, it remains a staple in Feminine Stories, even in modern stories: Moana, Anna/Tangled, Lilo/Lilo & Stitch.

***The Sacrifice Plot is a little odd, because there's usually another plot on top of it; Anna has a (slight) Maturing Plot, Meg has a Balancing Plot, Kida has a Restoration Plot. However, in the end, it's not a philosophical shift that defines their character, but their willingness to sacrifice for those they love. Yes, Anna was duped by Hans and has to accept he's not the good guy. However, she still falls in love with a man she just met (just a different one) and her narrative is instead trying to fix the problem she made when she upset her sister and her climax is when she essentially dies for Elsa, who then saves her with their sisterly love.

[chic-a-gigot]

La Mode illustrée, no. 40, 2 octobre 1870, Paris. Toilettes de Mme Bréant-Castel, 28. r. Nve. des Pts. Champs. Collection of the Rijksmuseum, Netherlands

Jupon en linos vert à rayures de deux teintes vertes, garni d'un volant surmonté d'une natte en taffetas vert. Jupe en même linos, bordée d'une frange verte, surmontée d'une natte pareille à celle du jupon; cette jupe, assez longue devant, plus encore par derrière, est relevée de chaque côté, un peu en arrière de chaque bras. Casaque ajustée à longues basques, pareille à la jupe et garnie de même; sous la casaque se trouvent deux pans arrondis en même étoffe, avec même garniture, retombant au bas du dos. Les manches de la casaque sont demi-larges, et garnies d'un volant surmonté d'une natte en taffetas vert.

Petticoat in green linos with stripes of two shades of green, trimmed with a flounce topped with a braid in green taffeta. Skirt in the same linos, edged with a green fringe, topped with a braid similar to that of the petticoat; this skirt, quite long in front, even longer in the back, is raised on each side slightly behind each arm. Fitted jacket with long tails, similar to the skirt and trimmed in the same way; under the jacket are two rounded panels in the same fabric, with the same trim, falling at the bottom of the back. The sleeves of the jacket are half-wide, and trimmed with a flounce topped with a braid in green taffeta.

—

Jupon en faye violette, avec bord inférieur découpé en dents arrondies, bordées de trois biais en velours violet; sous ces dents une dentelle de Bruges blanche; sous cette dentelle, un volant plissé, en faye violette. Tunique en même faye, garnie comme la jupe, mais sans volant plissé. Casaque ajustée à basques courtes devant, longues sur les hanches et par derrière, avec bord inférieur découpé et garni comme la tunique; les manches demi-larges sont garnies de même, et se terminent par un volant plissé.

Petticoat in purple faye, with lower edge cut into rounded teeth, edged with three purple velvet biases; under these teeth a white Bruges lace; under this lace, a pleated flounce, in purple faye. Tunic in the same faye, trimmed like the skirt, but without a pleated flounce. Fitted jacket with short basques in front, long on the hips and behind, with lower edge cut and trimmed like the tunic; the half-wide sleeves are trimmed in the same way, and end with a pleated flounce.

—

Fillette de douze ans. Jupe en mohair maïs, entièrement plissée, à plis plats. Tunique pareille garnie d'un volant étroit, posé à tête; sous ce volant, bande de broderie anglaise sur nansouk. Casaque ajustée, à longues basques, garnie comme la tunique. Ceinture en large ruban écossais, vert, rouge et bleu.

Twelve-year-old girl's dress. Skirt in corn mohair, entirely pleated, with flat pleats. Tunic similarly trimmed with a narrow flounce, placed at the head; under this flounce, band of English embroidery in nansouk. Fitted jacket, with long tails, trimmed like the tunic. Belt in wide plaid ribbon in green, red, and blue.

[luxaofhesperides]

those who serve.

Running away from Amity Park—from his entire dimension—Danny takes refuge in the streets of Gotham. It's hard, suddenly being a homeless teenager in such a crime-ridden city, but it's better than dying a second time.

Enter Alfred Pennyworth, a kind old man who works as a butler who, for some reason, has decided to befriend Danny.

His future is still up in the air, but he's hopeful that things will work out. After all, Alfred isn't getting any younger and someone needs to help him with his butler duties. Danny's just the right person for the job.

Or: Alfred Pennyworth sees a homeless teen who looks like he'd fit right into the Wayne family and decides to take matters into his own hands. It's not like he's just going to leave this very sad, possibly meta teenager alone when there's more than enough space in the Manor to house one more child in need.

read chapter one on ao3 or below the cut.

Technically, Danny doesn’t exist. 

He has no papers, no records, no family in this dimension. It’s a blank slate, a fresh start where he can be anything he wants. That doesn’t change what he is, however, and Danny is just another lonely child living on the streets. 

In Gotham, he’s not a hero or a threat; he’s just another nameless face passing by, another teenager with no support system and no future. Just a figure clinging to the alley walls, head bowed and hands tucked into the pocket of his hoodie. It’s not great, far from it, but it’s better than the alternative where he—

—parading around in the corpse of our son! How dare you! Wearing his face won’t save you from what we’ll do to you! Leave Danny’s body so we can bury him, leave him! I’ll tear you ap—

This is better, is the point. Out of the frying pan and into the crime ridden streets of Gotham. Not quite a fire but close enough.

No one is hunting him down in this dimension, at least. He’s ignored and left to his own devices, wandering the streets only when the sun’s gone down and slipping into grocery stores after hours, invisible, to get a few things to eat. It sucks that he’s resorted to stealing to survive, but at least he’s surviving. 

Survival is the entire reason he ran from his own dimension, after all.

He’s been here for two and a half weeks now, getting acquainted with the streets. Every day is spent hiding and trying to endure the crushing loneliness and grief of losing his entire life. He’s still half alive, yes, but the life he lived has gone up in flames, torn to pieces under his parents’ attacks. He can’t even blame them for it; under the circumstances, with the limited understanding they had, it’s only natural that they would try to kill him after discovering that Danny Fenton, their son, died two years ago.

Understanding doesn’t stop the sting of betrayal, doesn’t soothe the ache of being chased away from his family, but it’s something. 

It’s all he has, these days.

There’s no one to hide from, no one who knows him at all, so Danny wanders, more ghost-like than he’s ever been before. People give him a wide berth at night, never making eye contact and walking by faster. 

Save for one, of course. One person, at dawn, who always seems to find him no matter where Danny’s wandered that night. 

He introduced himself as Alfred Pennyworth. The British accent caught Danny off guard enough that he stopped and turned to face the man, who stood a few feet away, umbrella held over his head. 

“Are you quite all right, my boy?” he had asked. “I have a spare umbrella if you would like to keep from getting any more soaked.”

It took a few tries for Danny to find his voice after a week of not speaking a word. “No,” he rasped, barely audible over the rain, “I’m fine.”

He walked away without another word, thinking that was the end of it.

It wasn’t.

Alfred returned dawn after dawn, never staying longer than ten minutes, trying to make small talk with Danny. 

Danny, for his part, had no idea why this random British man had decided to make friends with a homeless teenager, but figured that he was just a lonely old man with no family left. That, Danny could understand. So he’d stay for a bit, listening to him talk and occasionally replying, then say his goodbyes when more people began to emerge onto the street. 

Two and a half weeks in, Alfred finally asks Danny for his name.

“Why?” Danny asks, shifting where he stands. He doesn’t exist here, but it doesn’t stop his instinctual need to run from anyone who goes looking into him. The GIW don’t exist here, no one is hunting him down. There’s no information about him in this dimension that can be used against him. It’s hard to remember that, not after he’s spent the last few years trying to keep ghost hunters from finding him. 

“I feel it’s rather rude of me to speak to someone I have never properly greeted,” Alfred says. He always speaks so calmly, as if there’s nothing in the world that can shake his composure.

I don’t exist here, Danny reminds himself, I’m safe. 

“Danny.”

“Danny,” Alfred repeats. “A fine name.”

“Thanks? It was my first birthday present.”

The stupid comment makes Alfred smile, just a little, so Danny calls it a win instead of beating himself up over having zero control over what his mouth says. 

There’s more movement along the streets now, Gotham beginning to wake up with storeowners getting ready for the day and morning shift employees heading out to let the night shift go. It’s just about time for them to part ways until the next morning, and Danny’s resigning himself to another day of loneliness. 

His short conversations with Alfred are really all he looks forward to. It’s nice to hear about the man’s time in England, his work as a butler, his opinions on American cuisine and the like. He never presses for a response and he doesn’t try to dig for more information about Danny. Just talks to him, then says his goodbyes. 

“I’ll let you go back to your day,” Danny says, pushing off of the wall he’s been leaning against. “See you around.”

Alfred nods once. “Very well. I do hope you get some rest today, Danny. You always look very tired when we talk. I hope I haven’t been keeping you from sleeping.”

“Oh, not at all. I just have insomnia. Better to have some company than just lay around wondering why I can’t sleep, you know?”

“Indeed. I shall be off then.”

“Yeah, alright,” Danny says. “I’ll see you tomorrow once you somehow track me down again. Are you sure you don’t have magic?”

Alfred shakes his head with a small smile. “I am quite positive I do not have magic. Perhaps we simply have similar ideas about where the best places to walk are.”

“Sure,” Danny says, drawing out the word. “Whatever you say.”

Truth be told, the first few days, he was scared that Alfred was somehow tracking him down. For what, Danny didn’t know. Maybe he wanted to harvest Danny’s organs? Sell him to an evil scientist to be experimented on? Induct him into a mob?

Alfred didn’t do any of that. He just showed up, talked for a few minutes, then went on his way. He never followed Danny, never asked strange questions, never did anything besides chat about his life and his work as a butler. 

It honestly was fun to listen to. It’s clear how much Alfred cares for his employers. Before meeting him, Danny had never really thought of butlers beyond being an outdated job for people too rich to do their own chores. Now it’s interesting, learning all the things a butler has to do and why Alfred chooses to do them. 

He still doesn’t have a favorable opinion on billionaires. Too many bad experiences for him to view them is any unbiased light (thanks for that, Vlad, but eat the rich either way); still, it’s nice to know that this family looks out for Alfred. They give him a place to live, a family to live with, a reason to stay. 

It would be nice if Danny could have those too, in any way that he could. He’s at the end of his rope, struggling to stay and not surrender himself into the Zone and be done with the living realm entirely.

Even his Obsession isn’t enough to sustain him. There’s no one to protect here; honest to god vigilantes patrol the streets of Gotham to keep it safe. Danny isn’t needed here. 

There’s no place for him at all.

Already, his mood is plummeting and all he’s done is take a few steps away from Alfred. It doesn’t bode well for his future, whether that’s what’s to come in the next few hours or the next year.

Sighing, Danny ducks his head back down and begins his search for someplace to bunker down for the day. There are quite a few empty buildings around, newly constructed but not yet in use. He doubts there’s any security installed yet, so he should be safe to settle in and catch some sleep before the sun goes down. 

Just as he turns the corner, he hears someone running. They’re behind him and he tenses, ready to disappear so they can’t get him. 

It’s not Danny they go to. It’s Alfred.

“Hand over your wallet if you want to get out of here alive, old man!”

Shit, Danny thinks, spinning on his heel to get back to Alfred. He rounds the corner to see a mugger jabbing a gun at Alfred’s temple. He looks angry, nearly shaking, and there’s a strange shine in his eyes.

Drugs? No, not important. What’s important is that Alfred is standing still, as calm as ever, with his hands lifted in the air. 

“Hey!” Danny yells, sprinting towards them, “Back the fuck up before I rip your tongue out!”

Fear and anger push him on, his Obsession whispering protect protect protect in his ear and he closes the distance between them.

The mugger barely has time to move the gun away from Alfred’s head, and no time at all to point it at Danny, before Danny tackles him, slamming him onto the ground. He rips the gun out of the mugger’s hand and tosses it carelessly to the side. 

“Don’t touch him,” he hisses. Faintly, he’s aware that his features are shifting, becoming a little less human. The snarl building in his chest has his teeth sharpening, bared in warning. 

The mugger trembles beneath him, thrashing weakly. “Alright, alright! Just lemme go! Let go!”

He doesn’t want to. Danny wants to hurt him for daring to go after Alfred, the one good light in the dark, the only person Danny cares about in this dimension. He wants to make this man regret his choices, make him terrified for the rest of his life, break every bone in his hand so he can’t ever pick up a gun again. 

A hand drops onto his shoulder. 

“That’s enough, Danny,” Alfred says. His voice is stern and Danny can’t help but listen, effortlessly pulled out of his adrenaline fueled rage. His humanity returns to him. “There we are. Come now, my boy, stand up.”

He stands. The mugger scrambles to his feet and runs away. 

With the danger gone, Danny can think clearly again. He takes a few deep breaths and locks his ghost-half away as tightly as possible, keeping the cold in his chest buried deep. It was good for scaring away a mugger, but he doesn’t want Alfred to think he’s a monster. 

He can handle a lot, but not that. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking over Alfred for any injuries. There’s no telling that was done to him before Danny got the mugger away from him. It may have only been a moment, but Danny knows very well how quickly a moment can change a life (or take it away).

“Quite. In fact, I am sure you are in worse shape than I am, at the moment.” Alfred gestures downwards and Danny follows his gaze to his knees, where his already worn jeans have new holes in them. His knees are skinned from how hard he slammed into the ground, a dull ache he hadn’t noticed until it was pointed out to him. 

“It’s fine,” he says, “I can barely feel it.” 

Alfred gives him a hard look, as though he thinks Danny is lying; he’s not, the pain is barely there. He’s had a lot worse in the past. He can handle skinned knees easily. 

“Well,” Alfred says, “Thank you for coming back to help me. If there’s anything I can do to pay you back—”

“No. I don’t… I didn’t do it for payment. I don’t need anything.”

“I would like to—”

“No,” Danny interrupts again. “No payment. I just did what was right. Don’t make this a big deal, please.”

Alfred sighs. “Very well,” he concedes, looking more tired and worn than Danny’s ever seen him. “I shall not keep you any longer. Until tomorrow, Danny.”

He looks as though he expects Danny to take the out, to leave immediately. Danny shifts, not meeting his eyes as he doesn’t move. 

“I’ll walk with you,” he mumbles. “So no one tries to hurt you again.”

Danny’s worried that Alfred will insist on going alone, that he’ll have to go invisible and follow along when he isn’t wanted, but Alfred is kinder than that. Alfred doesn’t refuse or insist he go on his own. No, he smiles and thanks Danny for his consideration before taking off, making sure that Danny walks besides him rather than behind him.

They don’t talk much. Alfred seems to know that Danny isn’t much for words at the moment, sticking to his side and constantly surveying their surroundings for any danger. He walks confidently through the streets as though he wasn’t just held at gunpoint, carrying on with his morning with the same stubborn spirit that keeps most Gothamites from giving up on their city. 

Alfred visits a small bakery first. They’re not yet open, but the owner props open the door when they arrive, waving them in.

“Alfred!” she greets cheerfully, “And I see you have someone new with you.”

She looks expectantly at Danny, who shifts uncomfortably under the attention. He can’t get his voice to work, can’t figure out how to get the right words out.

“Ah, yes,” Alfred says, smoothly drawing her attention off of Danny. “This is Danny. We often talk in the morning and he has decided to accompany me today.”

“I see. Well, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Yurica. Alfred and I enjoy some tea together in the mornings before starting with our days. Why don’t you join us?”

“I don’t… mean to intrude,” Danny manages to say before Yurica waves off his hesitant refusal.

“Nonsense! Any friend of Alfred is a friend of mine. Come, come, let’s get the two of you seated. You’ll get the first picks of the day, once I get the last batches out of the ovens.”

She leads them into the bakery, past the kitchen and upstairs into a small sitting room. Danny follows them, unable to leave without seeming rude. He joins Alfred on the couch, awkwardly perched on the edge as Yurica bustles around, disappearing down the hall. 

Distantly, he hears the sound of running water and a stove top being turned on. The clinking of cups follows, along with the opening and closing of cupboards. It almost sounds like home, when Jazz was setting herself up for a long study session to make sure she’s prepared for college. 

Without noticing, Danny relaxes back into the couch. He keeps his eyes closed, just listening to the movement around the building; it’s soothing white noise that chases away the constant ache of loneliness he’s been carrying these past few weeks. 

“Quite the relaxing home, isn’t it?” Alfred asks. 

“You come here every day?”

“Not every day, but a few times a week. We’re old friends and are often up before anyone else. It’s nice to catch up for just a few minutes, especially at our age.”

He wonders if this is what it feels like, spending time with grandparents. He never met his own, could never relate to the kids who were always excited to spend time with their grandparents over the holidays, eager to be part of a bigger family. It was fine, before, when it was just him, Jazz, and their parents. 

It was fine. 

It didn’t last.

Yurica returns a few minutes later, carrying a tray full of cups and a teapot made to look like a fat cat. The sight of it makes him smile, almost distracting him from noticing the way Yurica and Alfred share a Look. 

“Here we are,” she says, setting the tray down on the table. She lays out the cups before Danny can offer to help, pouring out fragrant tea with a steady hand. “Cream? Sugar?”

Alfred adds cream to his own cup while Danny shakes his head, quietly thanking her for the tea. 

He cradles his cup in his hands, savoring the gentle warmth while Alfred and Yurica chat. He tunes them out, letting their voices fade into background noise. 

This is the most relaxed he’s felt in months. It’s sad to think about, so he tries not to, but it lingers in the back of his mind. 

Time passes without him noticing. Danny sips his tea until his cup is empty, then sets it down on the tray. That seems to be a cue that Alfred was waiting for, long done with his own cup, and he stands, thanking Yurica for her hospitality. 

She waves it off with a smile before Danny can echo the sentiments, then ushers them downstairs, where trays of freshly baked pastries fill cover the counters of the bakery’s kitchen. 

“Here, take your pick!”

Danny’s about to refuse when she shoves a paper bag into his hands. “Go on,” she says, “Take what you like. I always offer to friends and I find refusal to be rude.”

Now that she’s said that, Danny can’t keep refusing or he’ll feel awful. Alfred is already picking out a few pastries himself, so Danny trails after him, taking three pastries that look good. It’ll be enough to tide him over for the next two days, so he won’t have to steal any food. 

“Thank you again, Yurica,” Alfred says, “It’s always a pleasure to chat with you.”

“Oh, you’re always such a sweet talker,” Yurica laughs. “I’ll see you again soon, Alfred. And you, Danny, are welcome here whenever. Even without Alfred. My doors are open to you.”

Yurica is kind. She sees him in all his scraggly, worn down glory, clearly homeless and with nothing to offer her, and she doesn’t turn him away. Instead she welcomes him in solely because he’s here with Alfred. 

It’s enough to have him blinking back tears, ducking his head so they don’t see how much this affects him. 

“Thank you,” he manages, then hurries to follow Alfred out the bakery. 

Yurica waves at them from the door as they make their way down the street, then goes back in to continue preparing for the day. 

Alfred walks around some more; he informs Danny that he has no errands to run at the moment and no one else to visit. Danny follows, keeping an eye out for anyone who might think Alfred is an easy target. He barely pays attention to where they go until they enter an underground parking garage. 

The weak lights and stillness of the garage, along with the fact that it’s almost entirely empty, makes a fissure of unease race down his spine. This would be the perfect place for Danny to be knocked out and taken away; no witnesses, no help. 

But Alfred wouldn’t do that. Danny wants to believe that Alfred wouldn’t do that. 

He stops when Alfred pulls out a set of keys from his pocket. A black car in the back corner of the parking garage unlocks with a quick flash of the headlights. That is… an expensive looking car. It’s not an obvious luxury brand or anything, but it’s high quality and clearly made for people with money. 

Guess being a butler pays well, Danny thinks. 

Alfred opens the door, but doesn’t get into the car. Instead, he looks to Danny.

“Will you be alright, Danny? If you’d like, I have a first aid kit in the car that we can use to tend to your knees.”

“No, it’s fine. Thanks, though,” Danny says, trying to keep from tensing up too obviously. 

“And you have a place to stay?”

“Sure do,” he lies. 

“If you ever need help, you are welcome at Wayne Manor.”

Danny nods, intending to never go to the manor. He’s not going to risk another rich person trying to either 1) kill him or 2) make him their son. No way. Not in this dimension. 

Alfred looks him over, then nods. He gets into the car, offering Danny a quick goodbye. Danny lifts a hand in return, then leaves the parking garage, holding his bag of pastries close to his chest. More people are starting to fill the streets, starting the day, and Danny still hasn’t found a place to hide until night. 

He’s kept Alfred safe during his dawn walk. He’s safely delivered Alfred to his car so he can drive to wherever he needs to go.

There’s no point in him sticking around any longer. 

Hood up, Danny hurries down the streets, ducking into alleys to avoid being seen by people. It takes half an hour to reach the empty buildings he was considering before, and then just a minute to go invisible and fly up to the roof. The door going inside is locked, but a little intangibility goes a long way. 

Danny makes himself comfortable in one of the many empty rooms, back to the wall, and pulls out one of the pastries. It’s not as warm as before, but it’s still soft and flakey. The glaze on it sweetens the bread and it’s the best thing Danny’s had since he first arrived in this dimension.

This can’t go on, he realizes. 

All this squatting and stealing. It’s just not sustainable. He’s been acting as if he’s died again, left to haunt the streets of a city he doesn’t belong in. He’s spent all his time either sleeping or wandering, wallowing in his own misery.

No more. This is a second chance. 

There’s no ghost hunters. No GIW. No need to be a hero when so many already exist, willingly taking on that burden. Here, Danny doesn’t exist, which means he can be anyone he wants to be. 

And in order to live this new life, he’ll need a job. He’ll worry about school once he’s able to save up some money and find a place to live. 

Step one to getting his shit together: find a job that will take on a homeless teenager who doesn’t legally exist.

He’s already got one in mind; Alfred does keep offering to help in any way he can, and he’s made working as a butler sound fulfilling. 

Serving isn’t quite protecting, but it’ll be close enough that he can satisfy his Obsession. 

The pieces are falling into place. The more he thinks about it, the more he likes this plan. 

He’ll ask Alfred about it when they next meet. Everything else can wait until then.

(“Are you sure you’re okay, Alfred?”

“Quite,” Alfred says, smoothly stepping away from Bruce’s fussing. “Danny scared the mugger away before he could do anything.”

“I’m glad he was there. Are you sure I can’t go meet him? Thank him in person?”

“You’ll only scare him away, I’m afraid.”

Bruce sighs, reaching for his cup of coffee. “What about as Batman?”

“That will only be worse, I’m sure. Not everything can be solved by putting on a mask, Master Bruce.”

Tim enters the kitchen, drops a tablet on the table in front of Bruce, then collapses into his seat with a groan. “I can’t find anything on him. Are we sure he’s real?”

“I assure you he is very real, Master Tim.”

Tim lifts his head to give Alfred a bleary, assessing stare. “I know we always rag on B about his adoption problem, but he got it from you. You’re not going to stop until you get this Danny guy into the Manor, right?”

“It’s either that or setting up a home for him in Gotham.”

“Bring him here,” Tim says with a yawn, putting his head back on the table, “Now I’m curious about him, too.”

“I shall do my best, Master Tim. I shall do my best.”)

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Nikolai tells Alejandro about the day he met Price for the first time.

cw: none.

The safehouse that sat just outside Chicago was pretty tidy, all things considered. The sofas had stuffing in them, there was a pool table with most of its balls and three cues, and there was a kitchen stocked with an adequate number of pots, pans and miscellaneous utensils. Miscellaneous, because the only three things Soap ever saw fit to use was knife, fork and spatula. The cutlery was optional.

Unlike Nik, who had been holding out with his previously undisclosed talents, and was currently whipping up dinner for the three senior officers. Gaz, Soap and Rudy had ordered pizza from a decent looking joint in Chicago town, and the four empty boxes and half drunk Pepsi bottles still sat scattered on the low coffee table as they watched Price, Alejandro and Nik chatter in the kitchen.

Ghost was asleep on the sofa, one arm slung over his face as he dozed before his meal. The fact that he had stolen several slices of pizza as well had surprised precisely no one.

After some fiddling, Alejandro managed to get the small stereo on the kitchen counter to work, the crackly voice of Madonna rising above the sound of sizzling garlic and onion with ‘Like a Prayer’. It was back in the charts thanks to some new superhero movie in the cinema.

“I remember when this was released,” Nik said. “March 1989. A few months later the Berlin Wall fell and I had my first kiss with a German girl from the west, an American radio station was playing in the background, this.” He chucked a handful of peppers into the pan, stirring them into the onions.

Price grinned fondly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Always a hopeless romantic. Couldn'ta had any hairs on your chin even, Nik.”

“I was fourteen. Almost a man.”

“Ha, I was four. I always forget...”

Nik winced. “Oozush, you make me feel like a… what is it you say?”

“Cradle snatcher.”

“Yes, that,” Nik said, deadpan.

“Did ya kiss random girls in the street a lot, or was the fall of the Soviet empire a special occasion?”

“You make me sound like a pervert…”

“Ahh, ignore him, Nikolai. These young officers have no concept of romance and the… emotional power of revolution, of history in the making,” Alejandro chimed in, “a kiss exchanged on the cusp of a new dawn, it is a powerful thing.”

“Thank you, colonel.” Nik slapped Price’s hand as he reached for one of the cherry tomatoes on the edge of the chopping board, and weathered his baleful gaze with a placid stare. “Has the captain ever told you the story of how we first met?”

“Oh, bloody hell, Nik, I really don’t–”

“No,” Alejandro said, grinning. “I would love to hear it.”

Nik raised his eyebrows at Price, who covered his face with his hand, groaning into his palm. “Not my finest hour…"

Nik cut open the mince and passata before he continued; revenge was best extracted at a leisurely pace so it could be enjoyed. “I was sitting in the Prince of Wales after my shift had ended at the embassy, minding my own business, when this young, baby-faced man sat on the stool next to me and ordered a pint of bitter.”

“Nik–” Price warned, but without heat; the embarrassed smile made his whiskers twitch.

“He was wearing his beanie, his civilian clothes, but he had British military written all over him. He might as well have arrived in his parade uniform. I knew MI6 would be sending someone to meet me that day, but a young man straight out of Sandhurst was a surprise. He was trying so hard not to look at me and I decided to see how long he would last.”

“Two years out,” Price corrected, his cheeks reddening in preparation for what came next.

“‘Ow’s yer English?’ he asks,” Nik’s impression of Price was perfect and Alejandro chuckled into his beer, “and I reply–”

“--how's your Russian?” Price added, pained. "It was bloody nonexistent, wasn't it? What a wanker."

“The flush was enough. I was not sure whether MI6 intended me to provide him with intelligence or take him to bed, I am certain either would have satisfied their goals at the time.”

“I was trained as a soldier, not a bloody spy. You were my first big mission in that area...”

“A honey trap,” Alejandro said, knowingly, and Price's face turned a darker shade of red.

“Da. A very sweet one, with such serious eyes for such a young face. But they had done what I asked; sent a soldier I could talk to, not a spy to manipulate me. We talked for hours, and every time I tried to bait him, he remained stalwart and honest to his mission. It was impossible to say no. It is for John Price that I turned informant.”

Price tipped his beer in a toast and then necked the rest. Perhaps to hide the look in his eye from Alejandro, but the colonel was far too shrewd to have missed it. He was also, however, a gentleman and didn't push for any further acknowledgement.

Nik finished up the bolognese with fresh pasta, some mushrooms, tomato puree, spices and red wine, before serving it up onto four plates. “Lieutenant!”

Ghost rolled off the sofa, kicking Soap's feet out of the way, and dragged himself up to a kitchen stool. “Smells good,” he grumbled. “Wassis about you bein’ a honey trap, sir?”

“Thought you were asleep,” Price murmured, shaking salt and pepper over the top of his meal. “It's classified. Strictly need to know.”

Ghost hummed as he rolled his mask up to his nose and tucked into his dinner. He would ply Nik with bourbon for the intel later, because he absolutely needed to know.

Nik pulled up the stool closest to Price’s side, and they sat shoulder to shoulder as they had fifteen years before in the Prince of Wales. Back then, Nik had been full of fear and uncertainty, his conscience a writhing mess inside his chest, the spectre of depression darkening his eyes.

They had tried to turn him in Copenhagen but he had resisted. He had known they would try again when he was stationed in London and he had been ready to resist unless they met a specific set of his criteria. Nikolai had thought it unlikely, until Lieutenant John Price, young, completely out of his depth despite being so clearly brilliant, but so determined to get it right, had talked him into believing there was hope after all.

Nik's hand found Price’s knee under the table, his thumb stroking over the top, and the backs of Price's fingers passed back and forth over his weathered knuckles in return.

Nik had bound his destiny, his soul, to John that day. He had only realised it some years later when his head had cleared enough to listen to his heart, but since then, he had never looked back.

[noodle-is-unstable]

It Pains Me

All of my writing is completely Gender Neutral Reader. There is no reference to gendered body parts (Imaging a Ken Doll if you will). Due to this I use more vague language, and nothing is as specific or specified. Please be advised this writing style isn't for everyone and it is okay to skip.

Ft ~ Takuma Ino x GN!Reader

Kink ~ CTB (Cock and Ball Torture)

Synopsis ~ Ino was being a little too needy, but it's nothing a cage can't fix

Content Warning ~ 18+, Smut, sub Ino, cock cage, clamp, rough treatment of Ino's cock and balls, cum eating. Idk Adult Content.

1.7K Words, I don't proof read

There was a soft sizzling sound coming from the pan behind you.  Rhythmic chopping of vegetables keeping you occupied as you prepared dinner.  That was until Ino walked into the room with a soft sigh.  It was quiet at first, barely a sound above breathing.  WHen you ignored him though he escalated.  The sighs getting louder, adding in hand and arm motion.  It was only when he dramatically fell on the counter, hand to his forehead and a sigh that forced all the air from his lungs that you finally paid him some attention.

“Yes?” You giggled at his dramatics.

“Oh so I’m not a ghost and you CAN see me.” Ino pouted, just as dramatically.

“Whoa, who said that?” You gasp, looking around like he is in fact a ghost.  This only deepened his pout as he gently hit your arm.  “Okay, okay!  What can I help you with?” Your laugh was light before you put down the knife,  giving Ino your full attention.

“Attention!” Ino groaned dramatically, once again.  “I’ll die without attention!” He went limp, tongue hanging out of his mouth.  You couldn’t help but laugh.  He was so silly.  You leaned down and started kissing his face all over until he cracked, a smile forming on his lips.

“Is that enough attention Tinkerbell?  I’m in the middle of making dinner.” You move away to start chopping again when Ino grabbed your wrist.

“Noooooo.  I need more.” Ino moved your hand to his cheek and began to nuzzle it.

“Kuma, I’m cooking.” A slightly annoyed sigh left your lips.

“But I need attention.” Ino’s brow furrowed, his pout returning.

“Takuma.” Your tone was warning.  You could see Ino’s pupils dilate at your sudden tone change.

“What if I don’t stop?” Ino swallowed hard.  So there was something he wanted this entire time, more than just attention.

“Go get it.” You sigh, trying to hide the smile sitting on your lips.  Ino moved at the speed of lightning, sprinting to the bedroom.  When he returned he was holding a small metal object and a key.  He handed them to you, hands shaking in anticipation.  It was his cock cage, one of many.  This was a middle sized one, it wouldn’t hurt if he was soft but it would absolutely constrict him the second he got hard.

“Tell me why you chose this one.” You asked as you began to undress him from the waist down.  You started fitting the cage on for him as he spoke.

“I chose this one because it’s-” Ino sucked air through his teeth as the cold metal toughed him.

“Because it’s?” You urged him to keep talking before you continued.

“Because I like how it’s restrictive when I get hard but I can still feel it on me when soft.” Ino rushed out.  His hips bucked into the cage on their own.

“Good boy.” You smiled, locking the cage around him.  You could see the space already being filled as blood pumped to Ino’s cock.  The curve of the cage didn’t allow his dick to stand fully erect, fighting against the cage.  You could see the veins pulsating as the restriction got worse.  It was a never ending cycle.  The harder Ino got, the more the cage restricted him, but the more it restricted him the more excited and hard Ino got.  You stood back up, placing the key in your pocket before washing your hands.

“If you behave and keep that on until after dinner I’ll give you a reward.” You told Ino, returning to cutting the vegetables.  He was just looking at you with a slight pout though.

“But-” He started before you pointed the knife towards him.

“That’s not behaving.” You warned him.  He immediately shut his mouth and swallowed hard, giving you a small nod.  You could see his cock harden more though.  Constricting against the cold metal.  Your attention went back to cooking.

While you cooked you could see Ino moving around, pacing.  He tried to watch TV but would randomly peer into the kitchen to see how things were going.  He never said anything but he was growing antsy.  Pacing, fidgeting, unable to sit still.  Though his pants were on again, you were positive he was impossibly hard beneath his sweats.  Little did he know, you were purposely cooking at a slowed pace.  Dragging out his torment by seconds, even minutes.

“Dinners ready.” You finally call out.  Ino basically leaped into his seat as you put a plate down for him.  He was shoveling dinner down like he was on a time limit.  You had barely taken a bite and he was halfway done.  The second he finished eating he eagerly sat across from you, watching your every move like a dog begging for food.  You ate at your usual pace, trying to ignore his intense gaze.  About halfway through eating you sighed, putting your utensil down to match Ino’s gaze.  His eyes lit up when you finally gave him some attention.

“If you clean up dinner, I’ll give you your reward now.” You offer him a sly smile.

“Deal!” Ino almost jumped from his seat.  His eyes were wide, legs shaking in long awaited anticipation.  

“Come, come.” You chuckled, motioning with your fingers for him to follow you.  Ino was on your heels before you could even stand.  Grabbing the front of his shirt you began to drag him to the bedroom.

“Pants off pretty boy.” You instructed him as you went below the bed to drag out the box of toys.  Sifting through you grabbed a few items.  By the time you had turned your attention back to Ino he was on the bed, naked from the waist down.  The cage was tight against his poor hard cock.  Clear red lines were formed, his swollen dick was pooling out of the small gaps in the cage.  From the looks of it he had been hard most, if not the entire time you were cooking dinner.  The end of the cage was damp with drooling pre cum.

“What’s the safe word?” You asked him, kneeling down between his legs.

“Red.” Ino’s voice was closer to a whimper now.

“Good boy.” You praised him, laying the toys you grabbed on the bed beside him.  “The cage only comes off when you cum, okay?” You looked over to him.  His lip was in between his teeth as he nodded.  “Let me hear you say it.”

“Understood.” Ino’s voice was almost as strained as his cock was.  

“Good boy.” You praised again, watching his cock pulse at the words.  “Let’s start then.” You grabbed the Wartenberg Wheel first.  A small, metal pinwheel with spikes at the end.  Gently you ran your fingers over the skin poking through the cage.  Just your fingers was enough to have Ino gasping, eyes pinned shut in pleasure and pain.  As a habit you moved your hand to his mouth.  Ino’s lips wrapped around two of your fingers, sucking and gently biting them for comfort.  With your free hand you gently began to run the spiked wheel over the cage and Ino’s skin.  The sound of metal running over metal and Ino’s whimpering gags filled the room.

“What’s the safe action?” You asked Ino, knowing your fingers in his mouth restricted his words.  His hand quickly moved to tap your arm three times.  His glossy eyes watching you, waiting for approval.

“Good boy.” You cooed before harshly slapping the cage.  Ino let out a gagged yelp, tears pooling in his eyes, abs tensing.  You waited for a moment, giving him time to use the safe action but he didn’t, so you proceeded.  When you slipped your fingers out of Ino’s mouth he let out a pained whine.  Wet eyes watched you, wanting to know why you took his comfort away.  He watched as you pulled his tight balls down and placed a clamp around them.  You began tightening the clamp, slowly applying more and more pressure to the sensitive area.  A broken mix of cries and moans caught in Ino’s throat.  Tears spilled down his face as you continued tightening the clamp.

“Such a good boy for me.” You cooed, whipping his tears away.  “Does it feel good?” Your free hand was gently rubbing the flattened flesh that poked out of the clamp.  Ino nodded through gasping sobs.

“M-hm.” Was the most his broken voice could crack out.

“Good boy.” You harshly slapped his compressed balls.  A pained wail echoed in the room as his head fell back, more tears.  Your fingers returned to his mouth and he instantly began sucking and biting them again.  The sound of metal echoed as you flicked the cage, teeth sinking into your fingers again.  His tip was leaving like a faucet now, precum drooling out of the cage.  You could tell from his glazed, dazed eyes he was close.  His balls were contracting in the cage, abs flexing as he sobbed gently.  In one smooth motion you roughly slapped his balls and pressed the spiked wheel into a gap in the cage.  As he gasped on your fingers you quickly released the clamp, blood rushing back to the area.  With a final harsh flick to his tip, Ino was choking on his wails, cum shooting out of the tip of the cage and onto your hand.

“Good boy, you did so good, Kuma.” You praised him, soothing him through his pained orgasm.  His body continued to jolt as what seemed to be endless spurts of cum escaped him.

“That’s my good boy.” You continued until he stopped spasming, until he was only panting and silent tears fell.  Your switched hands, allowing Ino to suck and lick his cum off your hand desperately.  You went into your pocket and took out the key.   Unlocking the cage, you freed his poor, abused cock,  Thick red, almost purple, lines sat on his poor abused cock. 

“You did so good.” You assured him, placing a few gentle kisses on his dick and balls.

“I love you.” Ino mumbled, tongue still swirling around your fingers.  

“I love you too.” You continued to assure him.  You already knew you’d have to clean up from dinner after what you put him through.

About the Kink: Cock and Ball Torture is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or constriction to the cock and balls. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.

How to Practice the Kink Safely:

With any kink it's important to have a safe word, action and sound. The action is in case it's not possible to be verbal. The sound is incase it's not possible to make words or move. Pick something easy to remember and wouldn't come up naturally. Eg. Red, 3 fast taps, 3 repeating grunts

Loss of blood flow is one of the greatest risks in cock and ball torture and may cause irreversible damage. Bleeding is an indicator of unsafe behavior. Because numbness may result from circulation problems in the affected member, the level of pain is not an indicator of a problem and signs of danger include numbness or loss of color and edemas. Bondage in which the testicles are tied to another object is especially dangerous, increasing the risk of damaging the testicles through excessive tension or pulling. The most serious injuries are testicular rupture, testicular torsion and testicular avulsion, which are medical emergencies that require urgent medical attention. Please use extreme caution when participating in this activity. Constantly be checking in on the person whose cock and balls are being damaged. Always have safety measures in place to immediately get restrictive devices off. Truthfully this activity shouldn't be participated in and can cause severe damage and trauma to the genitals. Exorcise caution and mitigate risk where possible if you do choose to participate

[contemplatingoutlander]

The House GOP is a circus. The chaos has one source.

Republicans spent two years sabotaging the U.S. House. Another two years would be ruinous.

Dana Milbank does a masterful job of describing just how dysfunctional the House GOP members have been in the past two years.

This is a gift🎁link for the entire article. Below are some highlights:

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Six weeks after his improbable rise from obscurity to speaker of the House in late 2023, Louisiana’s Mike Johnson decided to break bread with a group of Christian nationalists. [...] “I’ll tell you a secret, since media is not here,” Johnson teased the group, unaware that his hosts were streaming video of the event. Johnson informed his audience that God “had been speaking to me” about becoming speaker, communicating “very specifically,” in fact, waking him at night and giving him “plans and procedures.” [...] Today, Johnson’s run looks anything but heaven-sent. In the first 18 months of this Congress, only 70 laws were enacted. Calculations by political scientist Tobin Grant, who tracks congressional output over time, put this Congress on course to be the do-nothingest since 1859-1861 — when the Union was dissolving. But Johnson’s House isn’t merely unproductive; it is positively lunatic. Republicans have filled their committee hearings and their bills with white nationalist attacks on racial diversity and immigrants, attempts to ban abortion and to expand access to the sort of guns used in mass shootings, incessant harassment of LGBTQ Americans, and even routine potshots at the U.S. military. They insulted each other’s private parts, accused each other of sexual and financial crimes, and scuffled with each other in the Capitol basement. They screamed “Bullshit!” at President Joe Biden during the State of the Union address. They stood up for the Confederacy and used their official powers to spread conspiracy theories about the “Deep State.” Some even lent credence to the idea that there has been a century-old Deep State coverup of space aliens, with possible involvement by Mussolini and the Vatican.

The above article was adapted from Dana Milbank's (2024) book: Fools on the HILL: The Hooligans, Saboteurs, Conspiracy Theorists, and Dunces Who Burned Down the House.

[See more below the cut.]

And this is on top of the well-known pratfalls: The 15-ballot marathon to elect a speaker, the 22-day shutdown of the House to find another speaker, the routine threats of government shutdowns and a near-default on the federal debt that hurt the nation’s credit rating. They devoted 18 months to a failed attempt to impeach Biden, which produced nothing but Marjorie Taylor Greene publicly displaying posters of Hunter Biden engaging in sex acts. One “whistleblower” defected to Russia, another worked with Russian intelligence and is under indictment for fabricating his claims, and still another is on the lam, evading charges of being a Chinese agent. As soon as Biden withdrew his candidacy, they promptly forgot their probe of Biden’s “corruption” and rushed to launch a new series of investigations into Kamala Harris (over her record on border security) and Tim Walz (over his military service and “cozy relationship” with China). After a number of failed attempts, they did impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas (the first such action against a Cabinet officer since 1876) without identifying any high crimes or misdemeanors he had committed; the Senate dismissed the articles without a trial. House Republicans created a “weaponization committee” under the excitable Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), but it was panned even by right-wing commentators when it produced little more than a list of conspiracy theories from the likes of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard. They lapsed repeatedly into fits of censure resolutions, contempt citations and other pointless acts of vengeance. In all of its history, the House had voted to censure one of its own members only seven times; in the two weeks after Johnson became speaker, members of the House tried to censure each other eight times. [...] In lieu of consequential legislating, they passed bills such as the Refrigerator Freedom Act, the Gas Stove Protection and Freedom Act and the Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards (SUDS) Act. On the House floor, the Republican majority suffered one failure after another, even on routine procedural votes. Seven times (and counting), House Republicans voted down their own leaders’ routine attempts to begin floor debates — something that hadn’t happened once in the previous 20 years.

[ducktoo]

Syncing Dream [Aespa x M!Reader]

14. Man(ager) Down

Note: sheeeet we sick now. Will aespa take care of us properly?

Masterlist here

(Couldn’t find a pic that fit so….winter will do lol)

“ACC- CCHHHUUU!!!”

Days after the soccer match, Y/n woke up feeling the full weight of his poor decision to play soccer in the rain. His throat felt raw, his body ached, and the slight fever creeping up told him he wasn’t just tired—he was getting sick.

“Dang it, I was too hyped yesterday…”

Groaning, he buried his face deeper into his pillow, hoping to sleep it off. Living in the same dorm as aespa meant noise was a constant, but today, it was a comfort. At least he wasn’t totally alone.

Around noon, there was a soft knock on his door. “Idiot?” Winter’s voice called from the other side, concern lacing her tone.

He rolled over, squinting toward the door as she poked her head in.

“You alright? You’ve been pretty quiet,” she asked, stepping inside.

Y/n grunted, his voice muffled by the blanket. “Just… feelin’ a bit dead.”

Winter’s brow furrowed, and she stepped inside without asking for permission. She placed her hand on his forehead. “You’re burning up. Why didn’t you say something?”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled. “It’s probably just a cold. Got way into it during the match..”

Winter rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m calling a meeting.” She left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

A few minutes later, the sound of the other members gathering could be heard. Y/n could faintly hear murmurs from the girls.

Something about Operation: Take Care of Y/n.

"We should make him some food," Ningning suggested, standing in the kitchen. "A nice home-cooked meal will help him recover."

"I’m not sure we’re exactly capable of that…" Karina hesitated, looking at the pristine kitchen.

"Don’t worry," Giselle grinned. "How hard can it be?"

With their plan in motion, they swarmed the kitchen. Winter took charge, despite not being a cook, while Karina began rummaging through the fridge for ingredients. Giselle and Ningning, on the other hand, were having too much fun playing with the various kitchen gadgets.

“We need broth!” Winter called out, though she wasn’t exactly sure how to make it. She grabbed a pot, filled it with water, and dumped in some random vegetables from the fridge.

“Shouldn’t we Google a recipe or something?” Giselle asked, raising an eyebrow as Winter chopped carrots like she was in a rush.

“Nah, it’s just soup. How hard can it be?” Winter replied with misplaced confidence. “We can just wing it.”

Famous last word from Winter.

It wasn’t long before the chaos began. The water overflowed from the pot, spilling onto the stove as Karina hurried to mop it up with a dish towel. Giselle had somehow managed to burn a handful of rice in a pan, filling the kitchen with the smell of something distinctly charred.

“Oh no, the rice!” Karina yelped, as Giselle waved her hands frantically to fan away the smoke.

Meanwhile, Ningning, who had claimed to know her way around a kitchen, was busy trying to recreate a trendy TikTok recipe for an elegant soup. She was in the middle of filming herself attempting to mix ingredients when she suddenly realised they didn’t even have the right spices.

“Um, guys?” Ningning piped up, glancing nervously at her bubbling pot. “This doesn’t look like the video.”

Winter was now battling with the cutting board, half a cucumber dangling awkwardly from her hand. "Maybe we should've stuck with something simpler."

Y/n could hear the chaos from his room, even though the blanket covering his head. Despite feeling miserable, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of them trying to cook.

He knew their hearts were in the right place, but their head definitely wasn't when even considering the thought of cooking.

Summoning all his strength, Y/n dragged himself out of bed and shuffled toward the kitchen. He stopped at the door, leaning heavily against the frame, watching as the girls tried—and failed—to make sense of the shenanigans in front of them.

“What… the heck are you guys doing?” he croaked, rubbing his tired eyes.

The girls froze mid-action. Winter still had the knife in her hand, while Karina held the smoking dish towel. Giselle looked like she was about to pour sugar into a pan that definitely didn’t need it.

“Shoo, go inside, sick mister” Winter flailed her arms around, trying her best to cover the “dinner”.

“We’re making you dinner!” Ningning announced, her grin so wide it was almost contagious. “You know, to help you feel better.”

Y/n blinked, taking in the sight. The stove was a mess, the counters were covered in half-chopped vegetables and random ingredients, and the pot of soup on the stove looked more like murky water than anything edible.

“You’re… making dinner?” he asked slowly, trying not to laugh at how much of a disaster it was.

“Yes!” Winter said, looking a little too defensive. “And we’re doing a great job… I think.”

"…Is it gonna rain today or something?"

"Actually, yea." Giselle replied. "Why?"

“Ah great…” Y/n sighed, a weak smile playing on his lips. “Okay, you guys need to stop before you burn the place down and entering homeless era.”

“No!” Giselle protested, stepping forward to block his path. “You’re sick, you need to rest. We’ve got this.”

“I can’t rest knowing my kitchen’s being destroyed,” Y/n replied, his voice hoarse but amused. He slowly made his way into the kitchen, dodging Karina’s attempts to guide him back to bed.

“You’re not supposed to be up!” Winter scolded, but there was no real heat in her voice.

Ignoring them by giving Winter a not-middle-finger, Y/n took one look at the soup and grimaced. “Damn, this will actually wake me up…”

"Really?"

"…in hell." Y/n chuckled. "Let's salvage this bad boy, aespa."

Under his direction, the cooking slowly became more organised. Y/n worked methodically, though at a slower pace than usual, taking the reins. He fished out the vegetables from the over-boiled pot and salvaged some of the rice, seasoning it properly. Karina and Ningning stood back in awe while Winter tried to pretend she hadn’t been making a disaster of the whole thing.

“This is why we usually order takeout,” Giselle muttered under her breath, earning a laugh from Ningning.

"Maybe we all should learn how to cook in the future." Y/n suggested. "Like, properly."

After about an hour of teamwork—and mostly Y/n’s efforts—they managed to put together a simple meal. It wasn’t anything fancy, but the soup was warm, the rice was edible, and the kitchen had been saved from further chaos.

“Okay,” Y/n sighed, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Dinner is ready, hippos.”

They all sat around the table, bowls of soup in front of them. The girls were surprisingly quiet, tired from their culinary battle. Y/n, exhausted but proud, took a small sip of the broth. It wasn’t perfect, but it was warm and soothing.

Winter looked at him from across the table, a gentle smile on her face. “Next time, let us handle it, idiot.”

Y/n chuckled, his voice hoarse but warm. “After the cooking course, I will consider.”

The rest of the meal passed in a comfortable silence, with only the occasional laugh when someone remembered the earlier chaos. Despite the mess, the laughter and the shared experience made the sick Y/n survived another day.

-

A few days had passed since the chaotic night in the kitchen, and Y/n had finally shaken off his cold. His voice was back, the aches were gone, and he was feeling more like himself. As usual, he went about his daily routine, handling schedules, coordinating rehearsals, and making sure everything ran smoothly for the girls.

However, something felt different. The aespa members had been acting oddly around him, whispering among themselves and giggling whenever he walked by. Y/n figured they were planning some kind of prank or surprise. It wasn’t unusual for them to mess around, but this time, it seemed more... organised.

Later that afternoon, Winter, the unofficial instigator of most of their schemes, casually suggested, "Hey, idiot, how about giving us another cooking chance?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Another? You sure? You guys almost burned down the kitchen last time. Actually, you guys asked for it a lot."

Karina, who was standing nearby, grinned. "We've learned our lesson. This time will be different."

Giselle chimed in from the couch. "Yeah, we want to get better! Plus, it’ll be fun. What do you say?"

Y/n rubbed the back of his neck, eyeing them suspiciously. "Alright, but only if you promise not to turn the kitchen into hell again."

Ningning bounced up from her seat, clapping her hands together. "Deal! You’ll be impressed, I promise."

Later that evening, the girls gathered in the kitchen, ready for their second attempt at cooking. Y/n set up the ingredients, explaining the steps for a simple recipe—nothing too complex, just something to get their confidence up.

“Alright,” Y/n said, tying on an apron and motioning to the vegetables in front of him. “We’re going to make a stir-fry tonight with steamed rice. It’s easy, quick, and hard to mess up.”

He handed a knife to Winter, who shot him a determined look. “I’ve got this.”

“Slow and steady, alright?” he cautioned. “Also you are holding it upside down.”

“Ah. Tsk, I know that, I’m just testing you.” Winter huffed before getting ready.

Karina took on the task of preparing the sauce while Ningning and Giselle handled the rice. Y/n floated around the kitchen, keeping a close eye on everyone to make sure they weren’t repeating their past mistakes. To his surprise, they were doing pretty well. The chopping was neat, the rice wasn’t burning, and the sauce actually smelled like something edible.

Is this what being a mother feels like?

Ningning, ever the opportunist, leaned over to Y/n and whispered, "You didn’t think we could improve this fast, huh?"

Y/n chuckled. "Damn right, I’m a little impressed. No fires yet. Did you ask Red Velvet noona for help?”

“Maybe?” The girls exchanged knowing looks, grinning to themselves. Y/n raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it.

"At least we don't have to hear your impression of Gordon Ramsay again…" Karina sighed.

"Heyy! I do make pretty good impression."

"No you don't, idiot sandwich!" Winter shouted, her eyes and hand still focused on stir-frying the vegetable.

As they worked together, the usual banter flowed through the kitchen. Giselle accidentally splattered sauce on her shirt, Karina teased Ningning for eating half the vegetables before they even made it into the pan, and Winter—who normally avoided cooking—was surprisingly focused on her task.

Y/n’s role shifted from being the primary cook to more of a supervisor. He felt a sense of pride watching the girls navigate the kitchen with more confidence than before. Maybe they weren’t hopeless after all.

Halfway through the lesson, Y/n stepped out of the kitchen to take a quick phone call. As soon as he was out of earshot, Winter turned to the others with a mischievous smile.

“Okay, we’re almost done. Let’s make sure it’s perfect,” she said, her voice hushed but excited.

Karina nodded. "He’s going to love this."

“Do you think he suspects anything?” Ningning asked, stirring the vegetables with extra care.

“No way,” Giselle replied. “He probably thinks we’re doing this for ourselves. We’re hippos, like he said”

They all shared a smile, feeling the excitement build. The truth was, this entire cooking lesson wasn’t just for their benefit. They had decided to make dinner for Y/n as a thank-you for always taking care of them, especially during the chaotic days of managing schedules, rehearsals, and his recent cold. It was their way of giving back.

A short while later, Y/n returned to the kitchen, not noticing the conspiratorial glances being exchanged between the girls.

“Looks like everything’s going smoothly,” he said, taking a whiff of the stir-fry. “Smells good too.”

Winter, trying to hide her grin, motioned to the stove. “We’re almost done. You can relax now, idiot.”

Y/n, slightly confused by the sudden shift in tone, decided to take their word for it and stepped aside. He leaned against the counter, watching them plate up the food.

Once everything was ready, the girls insisted he sit down at the dining table while they handled the rest. Y/n, still clueless, complied, sinking into his chair with a satisfied sigh. It felt nice to sit back and let them take over.

A few minutes later, the girls came over, each carrying a plate. They set the food down in front of Y/n, beaming with pride.

“Wait,” Y/n said, glancing around. “Where’s your food?”

“This isn’t for us,” Winter said, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “It’s for you.”

Y/n blinked, completely caught off guard. “What? The aespa who eats more than the military? Cook for me?

"YA! WHY EVEN GO THERE?!" The girls unanimously raged. Y/n could only laugh.

"But seriously, why though?" Y/n was genuinely curious. He did suspect the serving size was a bit too small for five people.

Ningning hopped into the seat next to him. “Because you’re always taking care of us, and we wanted to do something for you.”

Karina nodded, sitting on the other side. “You’ve been looking out for us ever since you joined us, especially when you were sick. So, we thought we’d return the favour.”

Y/n looked down at the plate in front of him—steaming stir-fry with perfectly cooked rice, the sauce glistening in the low kitchen light. He felt a warmth in his chest, one that had nothing to do with the food.

“Wow,” he murmured, glancing around at their expectant faces. “You guys didn’t have to do this.”

“Of course we did,” Giselle said, grinning. “Now eat up before it gets cold!”

Y/n chuckled, feeling a little overwhelmed but incredibly touched by their gesture. He picked up his fork and took a bite. The stir-fry was surprisingly good, the flavors balanced and the vegetables cooked just right.

“Holy…this is fcking good,” he said, nodding appreciatively. A tear unexpectedly escaped his eye from the surprise.

The girls burst into smiles, clearly proud of their efforts.

“You’re not just saying that, right?” Winter teased.

“No, seriously. You guys did a great job,” Y/n reassured them. “I’m impressed.”

The rest of the night passed with easy conversation and laughter as Y/n ate the meal they had prepared for him. The girls hovered around, still excited that their surprise had gone off without a hitch. It was a simple moment, but it felt special—an unspoken bond strengthening between them as they shared the fruits of their teamwork.

By the end of the night, Y/n was feeling more grateful than ever. Despite the craziness of their lives, the constant schedules, and the occasional cooking disasters, moments like this made it all worthwhile.

[linkspooky]

Judai and Yubel's Chemical Wedding

A chemical wedding is central to many alchemy stories.

A chemical wedding is a reconciliation of opposites, often with the most significant character relationship to the protagonist. A relationship which destroys and then remakes them in the better version of themselves.

Jung said that relatioships are chemical reaction. If you have a reaction you can never return to your previous state of being. That's ultimately the role of a chemical wedding in a story. A relationship which is central to a character's development, and changes both parties.

Yubel isn't just important for Judai's character development, they're literally his other half and their union of opposites completes them both in an alchemical sense. Keep on reading below the cut for a lesson in alchemy symbolism.

Peter Pan's Missing Shadow

So, the story goes somewhere in the middle of developing season two the writers recognizing that Judai, would never be able to handle a Marik level antagonist. He lacked maturity compared to the previous series protagonist Atem. The concept of Yubel emerged to make Judai grow, because as he was, he wasn't enough.

Judai fits the archetype of the hot-blooded shonen protagonist almost perfectly in the first two seasons, but even in two seasons where he changes very little as a character the hints are there.

Sho immediately puts Judai on a pedestal, and soon so does everyone else. Judai is praised for his pure heart over, and over. The standards for Judai are set so high you begin to wonder what if Judai wasn't the person everyone sees him as?

At this point is it even Judai that his friends are seeing?

What does that do to a person's identity when everyone around you is love with the idea of you. When you're not seen as a person with flaws.

Judai doesn't grow but how can he, when he's not really allowed to make mistakes. When he's expected to always be cheerful, and always bounce back without help or support.

Judai is pure of heart, but is anybody really pure? The light always casts a shadow.

Jung pioneered a lot of analytical psychology theory. Jung divided the psyche into four parts, the persona which is how we externally engage with the world our public face, the animus and anima masculinity and femininity, and finally the shadow.

Complementary to Jung’s idea of the persona, which is “what oneself as well as others thinks one is” [CW9 para 221], the “shadow is that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality [...] that is his shadow does not consist only of morally reprehensible tendencies, but also displays a number of good qualities, such as normal instincts, appropriate reactions, realistic insights, creative impulses etc “ 

The shadow isn't made up of bad qualities, just what we are afraid to show others because of judgement. Hidden as it may be, the shadow is a fundamental part of your personality.

Jung had a deep interest in the shadow – its form and content – and in the process of assimilating “the thing a person has no wish to be” [CW16, para 470]. He saw quite clearly that failure to recognize, acknowledge and deal with shadow elements is often the root of problems in relationships.

Is a friendship with someone real if you're afraid to show any of your flaws?

Juda's never allowed to make mistakes around his friends. He's under constant pressure to fight their battles, to fear he might lose them if he loses.

Ryo, a foil and rival Judai suffers a complete breakdown after losing just one duel. Before that he spelled it out for Judai in the graudation duel, the "perfection" everyone expected limited his growth, until he finally fell apart. If one loss makes Ryo fall then how much farther does Judai who's under more pressure have to fall?

Judai hides his shadow from everyone, but the shadow isn't just a part of you. The shadow is you. You are your shadow. Which is why recognizing the shadow is a critical part of growth - and alchemy. As Jung once said, "The gold is in the dark. And one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” 

Judai's in unable to grow up, because like Peter Pan is missing his shadow. It needs to be retrieved and sewn back to his feet. Until then, he's stunted and missing an important part of himself.

Judai is missing something important without his shadow. I'm not pulling this from thin air, it's directly stated by the text repeatedly.

Here.

Kouji Satou: We have something that you lack. Judai: That I lack? Kouji Satou: Yes the darkness of the heart that slumbers deep within a duelist. The burden that a duelist bears in his heart. Judai, you have none of that.

Here.

Cobra: You are certainly a talented duelist. But you have one fatal flaw. Judai: A fatal flaw? Cobra: Yes, your duels are superficial. Someone who fights with nothing on his shoulders, cannot recover once he loses his enjoyment. What a duelist carries on his shoulders will become the power that supports him when he’s up against the wall! Cobra: But you have nothing like that! Those who go through life without anything like that cannot possibly seize victory. Cobra: But I know that nothing I say will resonate with you… because you have nothing to lose but the match.

Even, by Judai himself.

Judai: They’re all… They’re all gone. There really was something missing in me. But what is it? What was missing? What should a duelist burden themselves with?

I often worry people will misinterpret Judai's ending with Yubel is unhealthy because he's "caving to the demands of a stalker."

Yubel's not a stalker, they're not even a real person. Judai's a character in a story, experiencing an arc about learning to accept and grow path his worst flaws. How could that arc end with throwing away Yubel, who represents the ugliness Judai tries to hide?

Yubel is Judai's shadow, run away from him just like Peter Pan. Yubel's more than just a cast-off shadow though, Yubel is Judai. A good example of two separate characters coded as each other's shadows in other literature is Katherine and Heathcliff, two characters designed specifically to be two halves of a whole. Katherine once said, "I am Heathcliff", or to be specific she said:

 My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty strange: I should not seem a part of it [...] Nelly, I am Heathcliff! Katherine - Wuthering Heights

So these are two different topics, shadow as a literary foil, and shadow as an aspect of peresonaity in Jungian psychology, yubel is both.

Yubel is the archetypal shadow character, a character who challenges the main character by being their internalized flaws made external.

In a Jungian text when a character won't look at their shadow, they're often forced to look by being confronted with an externalized version of their shadow.

This is the first line of dialogue Yubel says that's not chanting Judai's name in episode 117 to Amon.

Yubel: My power is not especially great. But those with darkness in their hearts can unleash great power in me. Yubel: The pus welling out of your injured heart forms a second heart. I can see that other heart. The darkness in it. Yubel: That's right. That is the darkness of your heart. it's there, in the depths of your mind. Th scream of your other heart, born from your stagnant blood!

Yubel's go-to strategy with manipulation is to throw in a character's face the secrets they've been hiding to make them more liable to their will. Until Yubel can reconstitute their own body, they're forced to act entirely through others, possessing Cobra, then Martin, and finally Johan.

Yubel, the runaway shadow can't exist in this world without glueing themselves onto someone else. Can't be whole without Judai.

Yubel: You'll formally become king. Yubel: It must be great to have your wishes come true. But then, who's going to be happy for you? Yubel: Living in a way that suits you. The one who'd be most happy for you would be that "echo" woman that you loved, am I right? Yubel: But you went and let her die. You won't even be able to see her celebrate, isn't that a bit weird to you? Amon: Silence... Yubel: I know I couldn't stand it. A world without the one I love. It's because of Judai I can feel pain, angiush, and agony.

They say it over and over again, a world without the person you love, even a perfect one like Amon imagines, isn't worth living in.

Yubel: I wouldn't want to live in such a world! Yubel: The world is a place that you make alongside the one you love! What Judai and I make together... that will be the world!

It seems like a one-sided dependence on Yubel's part, but because Yubel is Judai's shadow, Judai cannot exist without them either.

Yubel was literally introduced into the story to spur Judai's character growth after two seasons of stagnation.

Judai seems better off without Yubel. Judai even suggests as much, that it might have been better for Yubel to die in that crater, than crawl back to Judai in their wounded and hateful state.

It seems that Yubel's reapperance triggered Judai's breakdown, and without it the breakdown never would have happend. However, there's two seasons of foreshadowing that JUdai is "missing something" without Yubel, which is why they can't grow or adapt to new circumstances. Judai needed to go through a death of his old self, a loss of innocence to become someone new, that's how alchemy works, that's how growing up works.

JUdai needed to reintegrate his shadow (Yubel) so he could become aware of his flaws, and while he does hit a low point, in the aftermath he can finally better himself.

The question is what flaws of Judai does Yubel reflect?

At first brush they seem as opposed to each other as hero and villain.

There's a tragic symmetry to the way both of them lived their lives for the past ten years. They began in the same place, Judai's childhood was just the two of them together. Then Yubel drove all of Judai's friends away, and Judai sent Yubel away in return.

Ten years go by and Judai attends Duel Academy and makes friends for the first time. He learns of his destiny was the one to protect Neo-Space and the Neo-Spacians led him their power helping awake within him the power of the gentle darkness. Judai spends almost two years almost always surrounded by people, alone in the center of a crowd.

At the same time Yubel has spent the past ten years alone in space, crying out for help from Judai. When they finally return to earth they ask for help one final time only to be met with silence. In that moment Yubel decides that silence is their answer, that abadoning Yubel, ignoring their screams of pain and forgetting them was all Judai's way of showing love.

Judai awakens his powers of the gentle darkness, whereas Yubel is corrupted by the light of destruction. Judai receives the help of everyone around them, Yubel only survives by manipulating several people to eventually crawl their way back to Judai.

They started at the same point, but by the time they meet again they're completely unrecognizable to each other.

As easy as it is to see them as villain and victim you can flip their roles too. As Judai is responsible for the chain of events that led to Yubel's torture, from Yubel's point of view they are the victim and Judai the villain.

It's unfair to hold a decsion they made when they were five against him. However, abandoning Yubel is a choice Judai continually makes, even after learning Yubel's undergone ten years of torture they were responsible for.

Judai: Yubel didn't come into being by coincidence. I made them who they are.

Judai continually ignores Yubel to search for Johan. However, he's not responsible for Johan. Johan made the choice to sacrifice himself. Wanting to save Johan isn't bad of course, but wanting Johan back is about what Johan represents to Judai not who he is as a person.

Yubel rightfully points out Judai will go so far to save Johan, but won't lift a finger to help them.

In fact Judai's obsession with Johan, is a narrative flaw (one Yubel reflects for the audience). It leads to his destruction.

Sho even calls him out, his willingness to sacrifice anyone, including his friends for Johan's sake. It's selfishness on his part. To quote this post:

The way he goes after both after Johan in season three and O’Brien shows that he actually doesn’t care all that much for them as people. To him, they represent a concept: Victory, or at the very least atonement for his past actions. A convenient way to right what he did wrong.  That is not to say that he doesn’t like them as people - he does. But when the chips are down, what he ultimately wanted was a chance to redeem himself by saving them. 

Yubel's obsessive pursuit of Judai to the destruction of everyone else, reflects Judai's obsessive pursuit of Johan destroying his friends.

To quote the above post again.

Yubel is a deeply selfish person as well. However, it’s a different kind of selfish. Yubel has exactly one priority: Juudai. Anyone or anything that isn’t Juudai doesn’t matter, and Yubel will go after Juudai no matter the situation and no matter the consequences. 

They're both two deeply selfish people and Yubel is needed to cast a light of this selfish side of Judai. When the two of them are compared though the image blurs, Yubel doesn't have the right to take their pain out on Judai's friends, but Judai goes on to later do the same thing.

"But then that's the nature of love, isn't it? I wanted all that torment to convey the depth of my love."

Judai rightfully calls out Yubel's involvement of innocent people, but it's hypocrisy on his part. He doesn't have the moral high ground here. Yubel's suffering doesn't entitle them to take out said suffering on Judai's friends, but Judai also slaughtered innocents as the supreme king.

Judai framing Yubel's reaction as revenge is ignoring his own flaws and role in things. Sharing pain = understanding = empathy for Yubel. Yubel wants to be understood, but Judai wants to ignore his shadow.

Yubel's strategy is a kid of forced empathy - to drag Judai down to their level and make Judai understand the same pain so Judai will understand them.

I'm going to quote another post again, this post here.

In her desperation to grasp why she was being made to suffer if Judai loved her, it makes a certain amount of sense that she would latch on to the suffering itself as being something Judai wanted for her.  (She knows and admits this isn’t true, btw, but it’s the only thing that allows her even a tenuous grip on sanity)  Then, when she was in a position to meet him again, her own views on love would allow her to subconsciously justify making him suffer the same way because her pain had left their life experiences too disparate to form a meaningful connection once more.  And the hilarious thing is that she was ultimately right?  Yanking Judai down to her level is what allowed Judai to understand her in a way that was impossible before he had his own little fit of love-induced murder spree. I think what people sort of miss is that what Judai is reviling her and calling her an unfeeling monster near the beginning of their duel, he’s the one that’s wrong.

This symmetry they eventually reach where they both become perpetrators shows the biggest thing they share in common: trauma, and how they react to it.

Trauma comes to define both Judai and Yubel, but they react in different ways.

Yubel externalizes their trauma, the same trauma Judai hides internally. What Judai conceals, Yubel by acting out their grief on others reveals.

Yubel wears their heart on their sleeve for all intents and purposes. They will act out their pain on others, gleefully, sadistically so. Their entire philosophy of love revolves around the idea that intentionally inflicting pain as a show of love.

However, as stated above that's a coping mechanism. When Yubel says they want to share pain with Judai, it's not revenge, it's a desire for empathy and understanding. Yubel wraps themselves in a blanket of love, to endure years of torture they suffered alone.

Yubel can't just ask for Judai's love though, they demand it.

This too is Yubel shielding themselves, they're coping with their abandonment trauma. Yubel can endure any pain inflicted on them if they convince themselves that Judai still cares, they can crawl out of a crater if it might lead them back to Judai. If Judai rejects them however, they completely fall apart.

Judai too, is protecting himself from fears of abandonment.

Judai's coping method is opposite, he internalizes all his emotions. The pressure of having to constantly rescue his friends, his fears that he can't lose once, or else he'll lose everything. Judai hides it under a smile, and a fun loving attitude.

Judai even states point blank, the reason he always runs forward is because if he stops to think he won't be able to continue. Judai compartmentalizes everything, and it all starts to pile up so high that if he just can't process it.

Judai: I can’t just stay and wait. All this time I’ve run on instinct, never second-guessing myself. If I just stand still now… I’m sure I won’t be able to start running again. And I won’t be able to get to Johan.

Even Judai taking on his friend's burdens, is done out of a fear of being alone. In his backstory Yubel drove all his friends away and it doesn't seem like he made friends until he came to Duel Academia.

Yubel and Judai both spent a significant amount of time alone, and they both fear going back to that time.

When Judai takes on other's burdens, it's a way to protect himself. If he's constantly doing them favors, they have to stick around right? It's still a transactional relationship though, the same way Yubel thinks all of their love entitles them to Judai's love.

Judai's method is to internalize everything. That seems better than Yubel, because Judai's not hurting anybody right? Except Judai's owbmethod of coping turns out to be just as unhealthy as Yubel's.

Judai carries the weight of everyone on his shoulders until he can't.

Judai's fears of being abandoned become a reality.

It's telling that Judai's breaking point isn't Fubuki, Sho, Asuka and Manjoume's apparent deaths. He's deeply upset by it for sure, but what pushes him over the edge is Sho's rejection afterwards.

Judai's friends being taken away in circumstances out of his control is one thing, but the fact that Sho leaves him? That Sho sees the part of Judai's self that he's always been hiding and gives up on him. That rejection sends him spiraling, because all along Judai was driven by the same fear of rejection Yubel was.

When Judai reaches his breaking point, he externalizes all the trauma he held within. He starts sacrificing others for power, because he's convinced himself with his friends gone power is what he has left. Judai acts out that trauma on others, as Yubel does with Judai's friends.

In the end Yubel and Judai react the same way to being abandoned, they share the same flaws and the same fears.

Rejecting Yubel, villainizing them, despising them is an act of self-loathing for Judai. However, empathizing with them, understanding, trying to reach out a had to break the painful cycle between them - is Judai accepting himself.

Chemical Wedding

Judai and Yubel become their worst selves when they are alone, they walk parallel journeys in season 3 dragging down Judai to Yubel's level until at last they finally reunite.

This metaphorical union is a chemical wedding, of two opposites coming together. How Judai and Yubel's relationship changes throughout the narrative is vital to how they develop. Their bond develops each of their characters, until they integrate qualities of each other.

The final stage is called a wedding, it's not necessarily romantic but Yubel's 10,000 love confessions can certainly be interpreted that way.

Once again it's not really about what's healthy in a real life relatioship, it's a symbolic journey two characters take in a story. Yu-Gi-Oh Gx uses chemical weddings to develop the romantic relationship between Judai and Yubel.

(What about Bruno - I'll talk about him later next post. Please be patient, I can't cover everything in one post).

Here's another meta on the concept of chemical wedding's in general for a different show. The chemical wedding between Judai and Yubel is woven into the text in may ways.

The show is rife with direct references to alchemical imagery (references to medieval portraits, the solar king and the lunar queen)

A process of death ad rebirth they both undergo multiple times, until their last union where Judai says he might be destroyed by the attempt to fuse with super-poly but he doesn't mind).

The four elements are referenced in the clash between Judai and Yubel, Judai is fire and air - their favorite monster is flame wingman an air and fire hero combined. Yubel is water and earth, their entire deck has a plant motif).

The two of them literally fuse together into someone new. That act is what purifies Yubel's soul by uniting it with Judai, the process of alchemy is purifying metals until they forge gold.

Yubel is also literally a hermaphrodite, and by incorporating Yubel into themselves the two of them together become a hermaphroditic figure.

So that’s the role and importance of the chemical wedding.  Pretty vague, right? But over the centuries the most common imagery has been a man and woman--often King Sol/Sulphur and Queen Luna/Mercury--1. standing together, 2. conjoined, or 3. combined into a hermaphroditic figure.  -In the Dictionary of Alchemical Imagery, Lyndy Abraham definition of chemical wedding.

The basic formula of a chemical wedding is the union of opposites (Fire and water, air ad earth, sun and moon, light and dark), that union creating a "Rebis", a figure that is both male and female. Judai and Yubel's journey takes them on a path to uniting as one.

It's a violent sometimes dangerous process as in each step dissolve et coagula occurs, in order to forge your better self you have to let your old self dissolved, which is sometimes a violent even painful process.

It's why Chemical Weddings often take the form of violent conflict. A conflict that threatens to destroy both parties.

The first chemical wedding is usually somewhat violent, primitive even, whereas the second one signifies the creation of the stone. However, characters can have more than two weddings (Hamliet).

Yubel and Judai have three violent confrontations in Season 3, before their final union of opposites take place. The three weddings are the three steps in their journey. It's also a process where both experience several metaphorical deaths, before finally their two souls unite into something new (which is why the ship is called Soulshipping).

SOULSHIPPING WEDDINGS - STAGE ONE

Alchemy is a process of continual death and rebirth. Yubel and Judai both go through two symbolic deaths, (the second one they die together to reforge themselves into something new).

Yubel's first death takes place sometime during season 1 and 2. The satellite containing them finally crashes back to earth, and Yubel burns up upon re-entry. Putrefecation, or Nigredo is the first stage of alchemy a process of boiling away all impurities, and it's associated with the element of fire, and associated with the color black. Yubel's spirit form of a black dragon comes out to protect them, and that burns away too. Nigredo is often signified with the death of a dragon.

Yubel comes close to death, but their true death is metaphorical.

What Yubel truly experiences is the death of their old self, as the trauma they've endured makes someone new crawl out of the wreckage.

This is the moment onscreen where Yubel snaps and adopts their new philosophy of love, that love is sharing pain with someone else.

Yubel literally crawls out of earth, out of a crater that could have easily been the sight of their grave. However, their rebirth comes when Yubel reconstitutes themselves in time to meet Judai face to face a second time.

Yubel's true form is revealed then to be that of a rebis.

The head on the left is male, the wing attached to his side is red. The head on the right side is female; the wing attached to her side is white and in her hand she holds an egg. This figure is known as the Hermaphrodite, half man and half woman.

Yubel's design is a Rebis, split male and female down the middle. It's even implied in their backstory they were more masculine, and through an alchemical process to become a dragon altered their body to look as such, giving them several feminine traits.

Yubel as one boob and one pec, speaks in two voices a deep masculine one and a light feminine one, defaults to using masculine "ore", but plays a feminine role to comparison Judai's more straighforward masculinity, they even have their face split one side being drawn with eyelashes. The image above is the hermaphrodite and the dragon, Yubel is both.

Yubel can be a reference to the greek story of the hermaphodite or the concept of the Hindu god "Ardanareshwara" which translates to "Lord wo is half woman." Likely both, they have a third eye on their forehead in the place of a bindi in traditional depictions of that god.

Ardanareshwara is the embodiment of the union of male and female energies in the universe, as well as the sacredness of marriage and copulation. [Mythcrafts]

The Splender Solis pictured above are images from the ripley scroll, a in alchemy text. There are 22 plates total, but plates 5-11 are called the parallels they reference the process of death and rebirth.

The seven parables are:

Plate 5 - Miners excavating a hill

Plate 6 - Philosophers beside a tree

Plate 7 - The drowning king

Plate 8 - Resurrection out of the swamp

Plate 9 - Hermaphrodite with an egg

Plate 10 - Severing the head of the king

Plate 11 - The bath

Season 3 goes through all seven, quickly covering the first two plate 5 is mining the Rainbow Dragon out of the side of a mountain, Philosophers beside a tree is Johan's deck using crystal tree, and also Judai awakens after Austin snaps him from his Haou phase underneath a tree.

Judai and Yubel's parallel journeyes reference plates 7-11, #9 was already pictured above.) They both experience two deaths, two rebirths, before their final third union.

Yubel's second death occurs here, at the hands of another dragon (Rainbow dragon is involved).

The first chemical wedding is usually somewhat violent, as metals need to be melted down and reforged through multiple steps in order to create a purer metal.

Judai definitely doesn't want to unite with Yubel their first encounter, they're at each other's throats, in fact Yubel specifically states they want violence, to share as much pain with Judai as possible.

Yubel ends the first wedding literally dissolving gain right in front of Judai's eyes, only to reforge themselves with Johan's body.

Those are Yubel's two deaths, and Judai's two deaths happen in parallel.

SOULSHIPPING WEDDINGS - STAGE TWO

Yubel is the process of two people breaking down, and mixing until they acquire each other's traits. Yubel pushing Judai down the path of becoming the supreme king, so they can be reunited again is exactly that.

Yubel's plan is to force drag Judai down to their level, so they can be reunited, and at that point Judai having walked a similar path and taken on traits of their can understand them, they tell Judai as much.

So when I solved the riddle you posed I was delighted. ANd that fueled my decision. I would try to fill the entire twelve-dimmension universe with my love towards you, Judai. And once I did, you would have to recognize my loev wouldn't you? That's why I sought to fill all those linked to you, your world, with sadness and anguish. And my line of thinking wasn't wrong!

Judai has to go through a process of two deaths mirroring Yubel's own before he can reunite with them in their second wedding. Yubel even says, the first time they dueled didn't work out, because Judai hadn't awakened his darkness of the heart yet. Judai needed to take on Yubel's traits.

Judai's journey to Yubel is referenced by two Splender Solaris plates.

"The destruction of one thing is the birth of another " - Aristotle.

The plate depicts an old king drowning, and a new king being reborn at the same time.

The text describes to us how the old king was taken under, but then reborn the next day from the earth as the new king; the old king must die before the new king is born.

Judai's first death is his breakdown after Sho's rejection, he quite literally experiences a death or self, while at the same time rising up as the supreme king - but it's not a split personality or anything like that, merely an inversion. Judai once internalized their pain, now they externalize like Yubel. Yubel in acquiring darkness of the heart, Judai then begins to take on Yubel's traits, integrating facets of Yubel into themselves.

Within the stages of physical alchemy there is a set referred to as the drowning king; this is the dissolution step of the Nigredo process. This is when the alchemists would take their chemically calcified ashes and dissolve them into water.

Judai experiences the same Nigredo that Yubel does, as his old self dissolves away. Judai sinks into a mental landscape which is pictured as all black, while a new Judai the supreme king assumes his form out of the shadows. The new king has golden eyes, like the new king in the painting is dressed in gold.

This is where Judai begins taking on parts of Yubel, not only do they lash out at innocent people as Yubel does, don a plate of armor to protect themselves (Judai has black armor, Yubel has impenetrable scales).

It's also a direct parallel to Yubel's experiences. Judai is left alone by the friends who he thought would always take his side and sinks into darkness. Yubel spends years alone in what they call "a capsule of darkness" in space after Judai's abandonment, sinking into denial because Judai couldn't possibly treat them this way when they love them so much.

Judai dies and is replaced by the supreme king, but the supreme king is a just a temporary stage in his development.

In order for Judai to heal he needs to be dismembered first, the Supreme King's head is torn off in a reference to Splendor Solis: Plate 10, severing of the head of the king.

Alchemy is violent; the motto of Solve Et Coagula demands dissolution before rebuilding, tearing apart before putting back together. This idea applies to the material world as well as the spiritual realm; before the psyche can grow, it has to be ripped asunder.

The Supreme King is eventually stopped by Austin, they burn away in in fire, against a duelist with a flame deck, reduced to ash only to rise from the ash reborn like Yubel did out of the crater.

After the end of the duel, Judai's helmet is removed and thrown for all to see to signify the king's dismemberment.

Judai now struggles to become someone new, as he cannot return to his previous state of innocence, but can't keep continuing on as the Supreme King. When Yubel and Judai reunite again Judai has taken on so many of Yubel's traits, they are mirror images of one another.

The second stage of alchemy is albedo, the word is taken from ablutio - the washing away of impurities. When Yubel and Judai meet for a second time, Judai's only priority is to cleanse Johan of Yubel's body, literally through purifying Rainbow Dragon in order to return Johan to his body.

His action in the duel is to destroy the "advanced darkness" field spell which changes Johan's crystal beasts, into darkness crystal beasts. First Nigredo, then Albedo, the prima materia is boiled in a flask where all impurities rise to the surface and make a thick black material, and then those impurities are washed away.

Cleansing Johan's soul doesn't go as intended for Judai however, because the only result is that Yubel reconstitutes themselves for a second time and faces Judai again in their true body.

The cleansing turns from Rainbow Dragon from Black to White and both Yubel and Johan are purified into their true selves.At this point they've both experienced multiple deaths, they've both been torn apart and sewn back together again. However, they still have one stage to go.

The duel ends in a draw and they restart another duel facing each other this time, thus beginning the third and final wedding.

SOULSHIPPING WEDDINGS - STAGE THREE

The final wedding in a chemical wedding forges a philosopher's stone, and I bet you can't guess how this third wedding ends.

Everything so far has made use of the death and rebith imagery. Yubel and Judai grow closer each other through a violent union of opposites (extremely violent in this case ). They experience two metaphorical deaths as a part of their journey to finding each other.

Death and Rebith is a major theme in the last duel, before they both experience their final death together, to become a new being together.

As I said above they've experienced several violent deaths, Yubel is ripped to pieces until they're nothing more than an arm, Judai experiences an ego death and reforms as the supreme king, before the supreme king's armor is torn off him.

In the third duel Yubel's signature monster experiences two deaths, only to be reborn again into stronger forms, yubel terror incarnate, and yubel the ultimate nightmare.

Yubel starts as a one headed dragon, their second form has two heads, their third they fuse with the dragon becoming the third head representing the three stages of alchemy. In the picture above the red, white and blue signify those three stages as well.

Judai and Yubel are also positioned as the Solar King, and Lunar Queen in their duel, just as in the alchemy painting above.

The above image  image is taken from is called Rosarium Philosophorum–which literally means “rose garden philosophy. In this case I believe the anime writers are deliberately reference the "rose garden philosophy" name b/c even Yusei and Aki in 5Ds have a similar duel in a Rose Garden that parallels this duel - representing their union of opposites too.

The final duel between Judai and Yubel takes place in a rose garden, intentionally so. Yubel uses two rose themed cards, and their method of attacking and sharing pain nightmare pain revolves around lashing out with a vine covered in rose thorns.

They're both entangled in the rose garden together, as Yubel says my suffering will become your suffering, Judai. Yubel isn't immune to pain they suffer alongside him, for Judai hurtng Yubel is an act of hurting himself. That's also a reference to the ouroboros, the snake biting it's own tail is a common symbol associated with initiating the alchemical process.

Judai has taken so many traits of Yubel at this point they are inseparably intertwined, there's no telling where Judai ends and Yubel begins so any damage Judai attempts to do is dealt to himself as well.

Standing together in the garden Judai assumes the role of the solar king, and Yubel the lunar queen.

Yubel's machinations were to make Judai ascend into a king, Judai is referred to as being like the sun by Sho drawing everyone in.

Bro... Bro, you're too selfish. Before now, I thought of you as the sun. Someone who gave others energy and made the impossible, possible.

Yubel is the moon which orbits around Judai. There's the time they spent in a literal satellite, floating in space among the stars to signify this. Yubel even drops a reference to the myth of Endymion. A story where Selene, the titan of the moon fell in love with a young boy and asked for them to fall asleep and stay young in their sleep forever so they could gave upon them lovingly as they slept.

I will take you to a distant dimmension, where no one will ever reach you. There I will watch over you as you sleep forever.

Once again Judai is fire, and Yubel is mainly plant themed. Judai assumes a masculine role, Yubel after transforming into a Rebis changed their body to take on feminine traits. Judai is the holder of the gentle darkness, Yubel is corrupted by the light of destruction which is engaged in a battle with the gentle darkness.

Theirs is a violent union of opposites, they are literally trying their best to kill each other.

Yubel frames themself as the selfless protector of Judai like a knight or servant, but their obvious desire is to stand together with Judai and be on the same level with him (hence dragging him down).

They spend a duel against Amon reviling him for how easy Amon could throw Echo away, because ultimately Amon is the king, and therefore Echo is beneath him. In fact Yubel was content to just sacrifice their body like Echo and serve as a protector in a previous life, until prince Judai offered Yubel their eternal love, giving something in return and elevating to them as equals.

So Yubel's primary goal is to be by his side, to be lunar queen to his solar king.

In order to accomplish this the art depicted above has to happen, they both have to dissolve, experience a death and become something new together.

Judai even explicitly tries very hard to kill Yubel, saying they'll use the power of the supreme king to erase them from the universe. Yubel similarly, rejected one too many times responds to violence with violence. Their union is inherently marked by violence. However, it's what brings them to a closer understanding of each other.

However, while violence brings them closer together, it eventually has to transform into a a union.

As they reach the final stages of the duel, Yubel states to Judai they finally understand that Judai has chosen to respond to all of their love with hate (once again union of opposites, love and hate). At the same time a wind begins to blow, elemental symbolism occurs as the wind and clouds appear in a process of "sublimation", and Judai's past is revealed to him, and he realizes his memory of his past life of the Supreme King.

Sublimate appears as a term for a mineral deposit, by analogy to the alchemical process: minerals in a vapor state, thrown up from the interior of the earth.

The introductory of the element of air also signifies Yubel and Judai moving from Citrinatis, the yellowing, signified by earth to Rubedo the final stage where the philosopher's stone is forged. Judai and Yubel's first duel takes place in a desert (earth), their second they climb high into the sky, and their third they climb even higher until they are standing above the clouds fighting in an arena of air.

Sublimation is a whole new experience of self and reality, both being redefined. Judai's reconciliation isn't just Yubel, it's with the three faces of himself Prince Judai, Regular Judai, and Haou / Supreme King. These memories lead to Judai's eventual decision, to propose a union. This union takes place as the last chemical wedding, which is also a real wedding in everything but name.

Their entire duel contains elements from both japanese and jewish weddings (the three phantasms that Yubel utilizes in the duel against amon are based off of three kabbalistic angels so the jewish symbolism has already been used before).

A traditional Jewish wedding starts with drawing up a marriage contract (Spell Chronicle), and the bride paying out a dowry (the five cards Yubel banishes at the start of the duel). The wedding must be observed by a minimum of two witnesses (Shou and Ojama Yellow). During the wedding the bride circles the groom seven times (Yubel makes 7 successful attacks on Judai between their 3 forms, all others were negated in some way). At the end of the ceremony, the groom presents the bride with a ring (Judai giving Yubel Super Fusion), and a glass is broken to the cry of “Mazel tov!” (the glass window breaking in Samejima’s office). Finally the ceremony isn’t considered complete until the bride and groom retire away from everyone to ... consumate the marriage (Judai and Yubel leaving together). Source [HERE]

Judai attempts to use super polymerization card to start the process of alchemy (fusing the 12 dimmensions - there are 12 steps to Alchemy). However, Judai announces that the two of them are going to fuse together.

Judai and Yubel's quite literal fusion into one being is the formation of a hermaphrodite. From the essay of "Get your Gender On, Jaden Yuki and Yubel",

Art historian Arturo Schwarz argues that “the Great Work is but a metaphor” in which alchemists don’t create a Rebis but become a metaphorical Rebis themselves, as Judai does over the course of the series. By joining his soul with Yubel’s through “Super Polymerization,” he arguably becomes nonbinary like them. Even before literally fusing with Yubel, he gains “aurea apprehensio (golden awareness) of this marvelous reality: we are gods, because we all are man and woman at one and the same time.” 

Hermaphordadites are a recurring symbol in a lot of greek mythology, the name comes from Hermaprhoditus a son of Hermes and aprhodite originally born male. A female nymph fell in love swam to him in a pool and wound herself tightly around his body and begged the gods to never tear them apart creating the co-joined male and female figure the hermaphrodite. The parallels to Yubel and Judai are present, especially in them becoming entangled in one another.

One origin story for humanity is also that human beings were originally two headed, four armed, and four legged beings, combination of men and women, men and men, and women and women. However, they were torn apart into two seperate beings, and forever doomed to go searching and be reunited with their second half.

When opposites are finally reconciled, the great hermaphrodite is formed. Judai even refers to this as an act of finally purifying the light's corruption from Yubel's soul by uniting it with the supreme king's soul. The union is a purifying process, and the end of Yubel and Judai's long journey of losing each other and finding each other again.

However, in order to be purified they have to both let their old selves die in order to form something new, the final death but one they experience together. Just like the painting of the dismemberment of the solar king and lunar queen, they need to be torn apart and sewn back together again.

I don't care.

Yubel is finally moved, and all the anger between them is washed away by tears as they're finally allowed to grieve (as death is central to alchemy, so is grief, both are parts of life).

To signify the end of this journey, Judai falls to earth the same way Yubel did at the start of their story. However, while Yubel was suffering, all alone, this time Judai and Yubel are together.